#I hate that he was right bcs no I don’t read romance books but what is that to you and why are you acting like it’s a cliche if I did!!!

[thats-slightly-raven]

Got so mad the other day I was gift shopping in a bookshop and the guy stocking shelves came up to me when I was in the romance aisle and was like ‘you don’t look like a romantic literature type of girl to me you look more of the fantasy or mystery type like lord of the rings 😉’ and I just walked straight out of there like first of all how patronising and secondly u associate me with goblins and hobbits on sight??? Calling me a little gremlin girl are you??? Saw me and thought oh gollum’s out shopping today let’s bother her????

[pencil-n-pen]

REDUCED TO SKIN AND BONE

. ݁₊ ♡ . ݁˖

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buck x people pleaser! fem! reader

masterlist | kofi

summary: Pathological People Pleaser- capital P. That’s you. Life is a helluva lot easier when no one can hurt you- not if you never give anyone substantial pieces of yourself. Too bad Evan “Buck” Buckley takes issue with this.

cw: reader is a grade A pathological people pleaser so all the angst and issues that come with that, canon-typical gore/violence (they are firefighters/paramedics)

tags/tropes: coworkers to lovers (hr HATES these two) bobby knowing everything about these two but letting them work it out anyway, team as a family, BUCK IS BOBBY’S KID IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS, also Buck being really sweet and nice (and reader having no idea what to do with this)

a/n: tbh this reader is really just a girl. this fic is extremely inspired by Love Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood, which, my dear followers, if you'll recall, is my favorite romance book ever (!!!!!) also no one say reader isn't realistic bc i based her internal dialogue and worries off of my real life experiences as a recovered people pleaser (there is hope for us)

credit to @bookshelf-dust for the in house arson investigator idea !! super brilliant and perfect !! go read their stuff !!

title taken from Goddess from Laufey!

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‘Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?

Cause they see right through me//Can you see right through me?

-The Archer, Taylor Swift

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Firefighter Evan “Buck” Buckley confuses you.

You’ve only been with the 118 for about two months. You’d be lying if you said the action and excitement of actually working with the firefighters on calls didn’t excite you to come to work— something you thought you’d never say.

And the team is great. You were nervous as hell at first. Suddenly being out on calls is exciting now, but scary as shit at first. You were much too used to your boring desk job. Plus, the firefighters were all intimidating in their own ways- Hen and Bobby the most.

Hen, because you totally look up to her and admire her ability to just… do whatever and say whatever and not worry what other people think. She holds her head high, and you’re more than a little envious.

Bobby, because he’s your captain, and you need to prove your worth as an addition to the team.

Slowly but surely, you began to solidify your presence as a team member. You aren’t sensitive to the blood and gore they see on calls which definitely won you points with Hen and Chimney, and you aren’t a pushover- you’re willing to put your foot down when push comes to shove. Plus, not to brag, but you’re damn good at your job.

After a month, you’d gotten everything down pat. What’s the right thing to say, what isn’t the right thing to say. What to do so the team trusts you, what to do so they don’t ask too many questions, how to correctly come across to them as a capable person. How to seem normal and well-adjusted and fine. What normal looks like to them.

With the exception of Evan Buckley.

You just… can’t get a read on him. Ever. He’s nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive, like seriously, it’s not even fair) but no one is that nice and smart and funny (and ridiculously attractive.)

You don’t like talking to him because he’s been more than a little sweet on you since day one. And obviously it's not serious and he doesn't mean it, just friendly camaraderie, but. But but but but but. It catches you off guard without fail every single time. Because every single time you talk to him, you get the very distinct sense that he’s looking right though you. That when you’re talking to the rest of the team, perfect smile in place, he can see through you.

It’s more than a little unnerving. It leaves you unsteady and wrong-footed. Like you’re never sure what exactly to say or how to act.

So you mostly just avoid him. You’re thankful that you’re only the arson investigator, because if you’d actually been a real firefighter, avoiding him would be a million times harder. As it stands, it’s fairly easy to do it without being obvious.

Or so you think.

“Is something wrong Captain Nash?” You ask, shutting the door behind you in his office.

Bobby rolls his eyes. “I’ve told you to just call me Bobby.”

“I think the second I do, my parents will appear in the room and lecture me about respect and manners.”

You sit as he gestures, watching with almost perfectly concealed apprehension as he laces his fingers.

“Did Buck say something to you?”

What.

“What?”

“Firefighter Buckley,” Bobby clarifies, as if that was the part of the question that needed specification. “I’ve noticed that you tend to avoid him when possible. You’re good at it, I’ll give you that. No one else has noticed.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks at the admission of being caught.

“How could you tell?” You ask instead of answering his question.

Bobby just shrugs. “I have three kids. This isn’t my first rodeo. Now, you mind telling me what exactly is going on here?”

You’re not really sure you can explain this to him without one, sounding like a crazy person, and two, having him lose all the respect you’ve worked hard to build with him.

You settle for the super abridged version.

“Buck… makes me nervous. I’ve had some bad experiences with men that acted like him before, so. I’m over it, of course, I’m fine he just… sets me on edge a little. I’m not like, afraid of him or anything.”

You are actually afraid of him a little. Because if he really does see through you then what’s stopping him from ripping the current back? Giving everyone a good look into your ugly and raw? What’s stopping him from leaving you exposed?

Bobby hums, contemplating.

“You don’t trust him.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” You rush to amend, heart starting to race. Fix it fix it fix it fix it— “I do trust him. I know he’d never hurt me, or anyone else for that matter, he’s a great guy—“

Bobby leans back in his seat. “He’s a genuinely nice guy, and you don’t know how to deal with that, so you avoid him. You don’t trust that he’s genuine.”

Too close too close too close too close—

Smile. Laugh. Look down for a few seconds. Raise head, hold eye-contact. Speak.

“Nothing like that,” Smile. “Just takes some time for a girl to get used to all the facts that tend to come with him. I could’ve done without the one about heart worms before lunch.”

Laugh.

“Oh, you have no idea. Imagine being present when he actually got to assist on a tapeworm removal. I was put off noodles entirely for months.”

Now Bobby laughs, a real one, so you laugh with him, and you feel a little safer, the conversation back in your control.

“I promise, there’s nothing between me and Buck. Just new-girl nerves.”

Flash a smile, appease the man.

“If that’s all, then you’re free to go. Keep up the good work.”

You stand, one hand on the edge of the armrest of the chair to hide the minute tremors in your hand. You hold your breath as you leave Bobby’s office, breathing tiny, quick breaths through your nose until you make it to the safety of your office, closing the door behind you and all but collapsing into your chair.

That was… close. You must’ve let your guard down around Bobby. His personality and dad-aura are so disarming. You hadn’t even realized he’d been watching you that close. He read you a little too easily and a little too quickly. That was too close. What if he had—

A knock on your door snaps you ramrod straight, posture perfect and easy expression snapped into place in seconds.

It takes everything in you not to deflate when you see who walks through the door.

“Buck?”

“Sorry, sorry,” He raises his hands in mock surrender, “I know you don’t like me in here, I’ll be quick. I just need that file from that warehouse fire case?”

You frown as you search your filing cabinet for the case file. “I’ve never said I didn’t like you in here.”

“Yeah, not as much as said as implied.”

“I don’t mind you in here. It’s just an office.”

You’re not sure what he wants you to say. Does he want you to agree with him, tell him you don’t want him in here, make him right? Does he want you to tell him that he’s welcome in your office?

What does he want?

He shrugs in the corner of your eye, hands in his pockets, and you honestly have to physically restrain yourself from staring at the muscles of his arms as they move and tense with the motion. It’s very conflicting: him being the unending source of the late-night fantasies you pretend not to indulge in to fall asleep, hugging a pillow, and the fact that he’s the reason you’ve considered going on anxiety medication.

“…Are you okay?”

You’re abruptly reminded that he’s still in your office and you’re still having a conversation and your grip has at some point turned crushing on the case file.

“Oh, yeah,” Smile, look down, laugh. Look up(?) “Long night last night. Didn’t get much sleep.”

He cocks his head, the action reminiscent of a dog. He really is a golden retriever. You should really stop thinking about Buck so much.

“I thought you went home early last night?”

Your smile wavers.

Laugh(?) put the case file down. Take a sip of coffee, smile(?)

“You know how it is. Work never quite ends at work.”

He doesn’t skip a beat before speaking.

“Why do you do that?”

Something cold starts to drip down your neck. An icy chill of dread.

“Do what?”

“That lying thing.”

Smile? Laugh? Sit down?

Your other hand comes up to cup your coffee. “As far as I know, I don’t have a lying thing.” You huff a breathy laugh, but it comes out wrong. More wheezing and choked than a laugh.

He leans back against the wall of your office, crossing his arms. “Yeah you do. Like, sure, maybe you did have a late night, but none of those expressions or smiles were real. You like, lie with your face.”

You feel cold and hot at the same time. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Do you want this case file?”

“No, you know what I’m talking about. Is it conscious? Is it like code-switching? Nah, this is too—“

“Buck!” You snap, skin crawling, “Would you please just take this file and go?”

He snaps his fingers, pointing at you. “There! That’s real. That was a real expression.”

You forcibly smooth your face out, trying to project the calm you don’t feel. “Me getting annoyed with you?”

“Yeah,” He chuckles a little, a small smile on his face. “Just for a second, you looked real.”

You blink. Pause. Turn his words over in your head.

“You don’t really need this case file, do you?”

“Nope.”

You set the mug down, ignoring the way your tremors increased at your little outburst. “So you just came to what? Get under my skin? Disturb me while I’m working?”

He taps a boot on the floor. “Kind of. It’s my turn to be the man behind, and this beats mopping.”

This time, the flat glare you send him is intentional. “You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

“I don’t know. You don’t seem as rigid as you did a few minutes ago.”

You stiffen your posture on instinct. “It’s called posture.”

“That’s not posture. That’s fear.”

His tone is light and joking, but his words hit their mark. Or maybe there isn’t a mark, and he just stabs your metaphorical bullseye anyway.

You shuffle in place, skin prickling under his gaze. “Is there a reason we’re having this conversation?”

“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?”

You stare at your shoes, face hot. This is uncharted territory. The end-all-be-all of terrible conversations.

“Well for one, it’s terribly awkward, and two, I don’t see why you felt the need to call me a liar to my face.”

Buck pushes off the wall. “Okay, that’s not what I meant by that—“

“No, I think you meant what you said.”

He sighs. “Can we start over?”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like you have this misconception about me, and it would really suck if a pretty girl didn’t like me just because we got off on the wrong foot.”

PRETTY?

“You think I’m pretty?”

You slap a hand over your mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

He smirks, a mischievous thing pulling at his lips. “No, I think you meant what you said.” He says, mimicking your earlier words.

You press your hands into your face, exhaling hard.

“Well, if your goal was to make me uncomfortable, you’ve definitely succeeded.”

“Aw, that’s no good. That’s the opposite of what I wanted.”

The gears in your brain turn.

“You came here… because you wanted me to be more comfortable around you?”

He snaps his fingers. “Ding ding ding!”

You frown. “So your plan to make me more comfortable around you was to call me a liar and purposefully get under my skin?”

Your words hang in silence for a moment.

“Well when you put it like that—“

“Is there another way to put it?”

“The plan was to get you to see that nothing bad is gonna happen if you stop doing that face-lying-thing. I mean, you haven’t been doing it for the duration of this conversation and the world hasn’t ended, right?”

You look away. “That’s because I can’t pretend with you. It always falls apart. You freak me out.”

His brows furrow. “I freak you out?”

“Yes!” You snap whipping your head back to face him, “Other people put out, like, signals, you know. What kind of people they like and dislike, and I pick up on them, and avoid the parts they don’t like and play up the parts they do like. But you don’t put out anything! I don’t know what you want.”

Buck is silent for several moments. It’s unnerving.

“Have you ever considered that maybe I just like you?”

You blink. Look away. Cross your arms.

“You know,” He continues, voice a little softer, “I have a habit of liking people just as they are. Bobby tells me it’s one of my better qualities.”

“Is planning difficult conversations one of your lesser qualities?”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“No.”

It’s easier to focus and talk about the less serious parts of this entire situation than even think about what he just said.

“How about this,” He says after you don’t speak again. “If you’re gonna fake something, or pretend you feel one way about something, you have to come tell me the truth about how you really feel.”

“Well that sounds terrible. What do you get out of it?”

He smiles, folding his hands behind his back. “You agree to let me take you on a date.”

Your face is practically on fire. Evan Buckley is asking you on a date. Buck is asking you on a date.

“Oh.”

That’s all you manage to get out. Oh.

He frowns. “Are you oka—“

You smash your face into your hands, hiding your flushed and flustered face from view. “Just— just give me a second.”

You attempt to slow your racing heart, all to aware of the fact that Buck is still in the room, still looking at you.

“…Can you turn around?”

You hear a quiet little huff, then the shuffling of footsteps, signifying he is in fact no longer looking at you.

“If I’d known you’d be this excited at the idea—“

“Shut up or I’ll say no.”

He just hums, voice teasing. “I don’t think you will.”

“I might.”

“Mm. Nope.”

“I could.”

“You won’t.”

“I won’t,” You grumble, dropping your hands. “Okay fine, I’ll do it, but when I tell you… stuff, you don’t get to make fun of me for whatever it is.”

“I really think you have the wrong idea of who I am as a person.”

“I’ve seen how you make fun of Eddie.”

“Well, that’s Eddie. It’s like, bro code.”

“Ew.”

“Having friends is gross?”

“Yes. Get out of my office.”

He turns around, grabbing his chest, feigning pain. “Oh the hurt. The pain.”

“You’ll survive, I’m sure. You’re a big boy.”

Okay what the fuck are you saying right now. Can’t god just strike you down? Can’t some old water damage cause the ceiling to come down on you?

Buck takes it in stride, laughing loudly, though if you look close, you can see a pink tinge to his cheeks.

“So when are you free for our date?”

He waggles his eyebrows suggestively over the word date, and you despise the flush it brings to your face. And ears. And neck.

“Um. Saturday?”

“Cool. You have my number, right?”

You nod.

“I’ll text you the details later this week. And hey, look at me.”

He waits until you look up. “You aren’t allowed to spend the rest of this week stressing about it, okay? It’s gonna be fun, and nice."

He opens the door to your office, ducking half out before turning around. “Remember: fun and nice.”

And then he’s gone. Then you’re just an idiot standing in your office, face hot and tingling.

He called you pretty.

—

Buck's request is difficult to follow through on. Like, sure, you agreed to it, but you still don't really understand why he wants to know this. The things that go on in your head that you don't tell anyone about. He said he got a date out of (a date, you're going on a date with Evan Buckley--) but is that really... anything?

Is it a real date? Or just some little fling? And why, exactly, is the date something he considers a fair trade? Like sure, he's hot -incredibly so- and every time you think about the date your heart speeds up and million questions run through your head, like will he pick you up, is he the type to bring flowers, where are you going for the date, all of those things.

You wince from your spot on the couch upstairs, papers strewn across the table in front of you.

"Dammit," You mutter, holding a finger up to the lip that you've chewed to shreds, now bleeding steadily, blood beginning to trickle down your chin.

A napkin appears in your line of sight, and you take it from Hen gratefully.

"Thanks."

She just nods. "Something on your mind?"

You blink, a little questioning.

"Your lip," She gestures to it. "You always chew it when you're thinking about something troubling. Is this about that new case?"

"Ah," You breathe, a small shiver running down your spine at her words. Being perceived is weird. "No actually. It's..."

You decide to be honest. News will get out anyway, and Hen appreciates truthfullness. "It's about Buck."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

You shuffle the papers in front of you, hands itching for something to do, "We're going on a date on Saturday."

"Oh!" She exclaims, settling on the couch across from you. "That's... surprising. I was under the impression you didn't really care for him."

Your face heats. "That's kind of why we're going on the date. He wants to... make me more comfortable. Those were his words."

"Interesting method."

You shrug. "It's Buck."

Hen nods, a chuckle escaping her lips. "I'm guessing you're not so sure about it?"

"It's not that. I just," you debate your next words carefully, weighing the options, wondering if you should even say them, but Hen's face is open and non-judgmental, and she knows when not to gossip.

"I haven't been on a date in awhile," You admit, "Or many at all, really. I don't know what to expect."

Your hands still on the papers. "I... don't do well when I don't know what to expect."

Hen nods. "I get it. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that Buck will do everything in his power to make the date as 'comfortable'," She does finger quotes around the word, "As possible. It took him a couple tries to get here, but. He's got a good heart."

You can't help the small frown at her words. "I know."

Hen tilts her head, squinting. "Do you? Cause it seems like you aren't so sure."

Smile. Laugh.

"Well," You laugh a small, breathy thing. "In my experience, no one is that nice."

Hen snorts. "Okay, true. But Buck's been through a lot. What he may lack in tact he makes up for in earnest effort."

She stands, and levels you with a look you try hard not to whither behind. "Give him a chance. And try not to break his heart."

You smile, hoping it doesn't look as brittle as it feels. "I'll try not to."

Though I'm not sure he'll be the one getting his heart broken.

--

Buck is careful not to bother you too much at work. He still sets you on edge in that "I see through you" way of his, but he's right- nothing terrible has happened since your conversation. If anything, he's almost... gentler, in his good natured ribbing and such. He's actually rather attentive.

"Okay," He murmurs next to you at the table, most of the others finished with their food , plates cleared and being washed. "You've got your fake smile on, so spill."

You elbow him. "Cool it, Buckley."

"Great meal, Cap!" You call out to the Captain, who sends you a quick smile from the sink.

You spear a stem of asparagus prepared honestly perfectly by Bobby, and lean over to Buck. "Fine. You really wanna know?"

"Uh, yeah."

You take a huge bite, smiling as you swallow. "I hate asparagus."

Buck's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you serious? That's such a small thing to care about."

You glance up to ensure nobody's eavesdropping. "Bobby works really hard on everything he makes! I don't want any of it to go to waste or to seem unappreciative."

"Okay, we're really going to have to have a talk about your perception of everyone," He elbows you back, "Come on. Bobby would not be offended if you don't eat the vegetables because you don't like asparagus period. It's not like you're even saying you don't like his cooking!"

You take another bite. Only A few left. "Better safe than sorry."

"Stop eating them--"

"I have to finish them!"

"Something wrong over there?" Bobby's voice rings out over the kitchen.

"Nope!" You call back.

"Actually," Buck starts, ignoring your furious elbowing, "Our little investigator over here doesn't like asparagus."

Bobby tilts his head with a smile. "Why didn't you say something?"

Your stomach lurches. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-- "I... didn't want you to be offended?"

"Why would I be offended that you don't like asparagus?"

"Because you cooked it?"

He shakes his head. "Not how things work around here. If you don't like something, you don't have to eat it."

Your face feels like it's on fire and your palms are sweating and you kind of feel a little nauseous. But that might be the asparagus. "Right. Okay. Thanks."

Bobby goes back to loading the dishwasher, and the others are no longer paying attention, so you lower your forehead to the table, grateful that Buck moves your plate away before your head can meet your now unfinished vegetables.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because asparagus is a dumb thing to be worried about," He says, voice light and cheery.

"It was a valid concern," You mumble.

"Maybe in your head. But not quite in reality," He rubs your back consolingly a few times, though all the action does is rile you up more. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you're still sitting here and you actually can't see if the others are still looking and oh god maybe Bobby is upset because you're an adult, you should've known that and--

"I can physically feel how tense you just got."

Oh. Right. His hand is still on your back.

"Relax," He drags out the word, his voice low and deep, "No one is going to spontaneously hate you. I sure don't."

"You don't count."

"Mm, how come?"

You're glad your face is currently hidden by the table, because you flush when you mumble the next words.

"Cause you think I'm pretty."

"I do," He amends, "But I'm not sure that discounts my opinion. IF anything, it doubles it."

"That's not how that works."

"It's not?"

"No."

He leans in, his breath tickling your ear. "Prove me wrong, then."

--

Saturday approaches and your anxiety increases. Buck had in deed texted you the details -which did, actually, make you feel better, knowing a bit of what to expect and having it in writing.

When Saturday arrives and the clock inches closer to the time he said he'd pick you up, you start to question if any of this was a good idea.

Everything collapses when you have to pick an outfit. Nothing seems right- everything is either too much or not enough. You blink the tears out of your eyes because you spent too long on your makeup to ruin it, and Buck's gonna be here soon and you need to just pick something--

A knock sounds at your door and you gasp. Shit.

You rush to the front door, and wrench it open.

"Hi I'm so sorry I'm not ready yet- oh my god are those flowers?"

Buck takes the rush of words in stride, smiling and holding the bouquet out to you. "They are."

You take the flowers with reverence, the gentle, floral aroma soothing your senses.

"Are... you okay?"

You blink, not realizing that tears had begun to well up in your eyes again. "What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm a little... frazzled."

His gaze darts down. "Is that why you don't have pants on?"

You're almost one hundred percent sure you burst into flames right then and there. And if you don't, you seriously hope you do.

"Oh my god- don't look, I'll be right back, uh, please come inside and close the door!"

You race back into your room and shut the door, throwing on the closest pair of pants- which happen to be the fuzzy, old, candy heart-print pajama pants you took on three hours ago when you started getting ready.

You step back out, now sporting a wonderful outfit consisting of your black, rather nicely fitting going out top and fluffy pajama pants.

"I'll be ready in about fifteen minutes, sorry about the," You pause, swallowing your embarrassment, "Lack of pants."

He chuckles, laughing that nice little Buck laugh that settles your nerves a bit. "Hey, I wasn't complaining. I asked for the real you and this has all been very real."

Your never-ending flush revives itself as he speaks. "I"m really sorry, I'm usually more put together than this, I promise."

He takes a step toward you. "Remember why we're going on this date?"

A beat passes.

Buck takes another step. "To make you more comfortable with me. And the team, but mostly me."

You laugh a little, a nervous thing.

"But you don't seem very comfortable right now." His hands rise to the your waist, sliding down to your hips.

"Sorry," You say on instinct.

He huffs. "Still don't think you're getting the point of this. Okay, what was the big stressor of tonight, besides the actual date part?"

You look down at your feet. "My outfit."

"Well," He says, squeezing your waist and very clearly enjoying the little squeak you let out at the action, "Then why don't we sollve that by..."

Your heart siezes. Oh god, you're not ready to sleep with him, you haven't had your everything shower because it was only the first date and you didn't think--

"...Staying in tonight? I can order some takeout and we can watch a movie."

Oh.

"But your reservation--"

"Can be called and cancelled," He soothes. "I only want to do things you're comfortable with. That was the whole point of this date."

Later, after you both stuffed your faces with takeout graciously ordered by Buck, and both of you cuddled up on the couch (!) you let yourself speak.

"Buck?"

"Hmm?"

"Sorry for freaking out earlier," You curl your arm around his bicep, face smashed into the side of it while you (pretend) to watch the movie. "Thanks for... this. And the flowers."

"You really like those flowers, huh?"

"Mhm. They're really pretty. No one's ever gotten me flowers before."

"What? No way."

"Well. I haven't ever gotten flowers from a date or boyfriend," You stumble over the word boyfriend, "But like, you know. Graduations and stuff."

"Guess we're going to have to fix that, then."

"We are?"

He raises a brow. "You didn't think I was gonna stop at one date, did you?"

"Well it was kind of a mess."

He shrugs. "On one of my first dates, I choked on bread and my date at the time had to perform a tracheotomy with a ballpoint pen."

You gape at him. "Those are real?"

He traces a finger over the thin, silver scar on his throat. "Yep. So trust me, this date turned out fine. I actually uh,"

He flushes a little, a dusting of red on his cheeks. "I actually really enjoyed tonight."

You chew your lip, nervous and scared but all the sudden deciding that you're going to get over yourself and do something. No matter how small.

You stare at the end credits. "You wanna watch another movie?"

"Absolutely. More takeout?"

"I don't know how you can even think about eating more. But I do have popcorn in the pantry."

He presses a quick, soft little kiss to your cheek. "Perfect."

₊˚⊹♡

[soobnny]

dating him | hwang hyunjin

❝ i’ve never seen anything quite like you, my love ❞

chan | lee know | changbin | HYUNJIN | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

hopeless romantic hwang hyunjin

love is beautiful and brilliant hwang hyunjin

yall cannot convince me that he isn’t the BIGGEST lover

romance is in his blood

he is so fascinated by it

so, for that reason, i feel like dating him would be like the love you read about or watch in movies

bc hyunjin would b the type to consume so much of romantic media

it’s where he learned everything from

wow what a dream

he strikes me as the type to fall in love with every little thing too

his eyes is just a lens of romance

and it’s set on YOU

every single love language he has it .. but here are some specifics

love language #1 gift giving

hyunjin is a traveler okay

and in every trip, he always has something to give you

keychains, t-shirts, bags, jewelry, stickers, refrigerator magnets, pins, you name it

even u have to remind him not to go all out sometimes

bc when that boy splurges, he SPENDS

esp for u ? he would spoil u in a heartbeat

he always makes sure he leaves a day of his travels dedicated to u and thinking about u

on that note, he tends to buy u guys matching items

matching phone cases, matching rings, matching scrunchie

whatever u can get that’s matching

he WILL get it

it excites him too

he loves being able to tell the world how in love he is

wait side note

whenever he’s traveling, he’s always just instinctively thinking about you

he buys this bagel for breakfast, oh ???? like hey guys yn loves bagels too

and the boys r like WE KNOWWWW 😭

everything is about u quite literally

ok continuing on

and he gifts u his art too

his art is very important to him

and he has found lately, u are the one person littering his sketch books

oh he’s down bad

i think for ur anniversary, he’d paint the constellations of how the stars looked that night and aligned perfectly

or his favorite picture of you

down bad that he also buys u a shit ton of dresses

and lingerie ………….

look he knows his fashion

he knows what looks great

u can’t blame him for buying what he knows will look so pretty on you

(he’d probably give u his card one time and say “go crazy” like wow he’s packed)

#2 quality time

i think his favorite dates would also be expensive

he just can’t help himself

BUT u know he has a sweet spot for self care dates too

spa days are very important to him

loves being able to relax and unwind with u

he especially loves when u play with his hair and when u paint his nails

one time, u caught him stealing one of your nail polishes

would also be the type to bring some bit of you in his travels

like ur perfume or ur shampoo

anything that’ll remind him of u

tho ur scent is his favorite

hence why he goes for perfumes or soap or shampoos bc u feel closer to him this way

he just loves being with u even if both of u are doing nothing

just like that bruno major song

conversations where u lose track of time

conversations as in talking shit about the people you hate together

😭😭😭😭

i think he’d want to paint with u

he’d be so shy to ask you too

just simple things

that cute date idea where you swap paintings every 5 mins or something

when u showed him that tiktok, he jumped in excitement

he wanted to do it right away

he prepares everything

he has both ur paintings framed in his room

it’s his most prized posession

oh, and he always invites u to game nights with the boys

he is SO competitive at monopoly

he couldn’t give two shits about other games

u don’t know why he gets so worked up with monopoly

“SEUNGMIN DONT DO IT SEUNGMIN!!!!”

it’s actually rly funny

he would be the type to take revenge

“you’re gonna regret buying a house there”

would cheer if his friends go to jail in the game or if they go bankrupt

doesn’t even try to hide it

and if he’s playing as the banker, he’d slip in extra bills for you

#3 words of affirmation

tho usually said when he thinks u’re asleep

he’s thankful that u take care of him when he forgets to

esp when he’s so immersed in his art

he whispers words of love

like poets and authors in books

he is just so full of love i can’t say it enough

physical touch except instead of touch, he loves kissing you

LIPS AND NECK ESPECIALLY

those are his top 2

he uses tongue 😕 sorry to break it to u

and he also leaves hickeys

so don’t run out of concealer okay!!!!!!! bc he tends to leave like a lot

before i end

here r some more dates he loves

botanical gardens

he’d pick a flower and place it behind your ear

now it’s his lockscreen

sunday markets

he loves the domesticity of shopping together

he buys u lots of flowers

every single type

u think he’s given u all types already

there is never a day where ur apartment doesn’t have flowers in a vase

bc as soon as the first sign of death arrives, he’s off to buy u new ones

he strikes me as the type to also go all out for valentines

hyunjin would send u mounts of chocolates and flowers

take u out to the fanciest date

u get to try new food and cuisines bc of him!

might even buy plane tickets so u two could travel together

maaaaaaaan just treasure everything

a love like hyunjin’s is hard to come by

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[boydepartment]

enhypen as things from 2014 tumblr

a/n: i am literally frothing at the mouth that 2014 tumblr is coming back. around 2016-2018 this aesthetic and mentality was my EVERYTHING. now in 2024 the mentality and aesthetic is still there just a lil more.... um flavorful for me 😋😋 but it’s okay! i also had to go on my LAPTOP to lay this out so please like this post... my ass worked hard on this- i also dont know if heeseung's aesthetic photo for his headcanons is messed up?? if it is i am so sorry

warnings- 2014 tumblr was a lil cray cray, but i worked my hardest to make sure none of the photos or themes would be triggering :) if you felt anything negative during reading these headcanons- tell me and i will add it to the warnings. but as far as i know and with my own experiences/disorder everything is pretty good and non triggering! :)

MASTERLIST

🕰️jungwon- specifically that one brand of music

okay let me elaborate: out of my league by the fitz and the tantrums

tongue tied by grouplove

electric love by børns

the really like happy yet sad songs??? he’s very like HES SO TONGUE TIED BY GROUPLOVE IM SORRY???? listen to the song that is jungwon he is that song. he is def like that summer romance who you never speak to again and it’s so sad because you loved him so much but now you’re like strangers. just wait till next summer tho, he’ll make you fall in love with him all over again. it’s bittersweet

⚰️heeseung- knee socks

okay me being out of pocket for a sec

heeseung is absolutely fucking insane and drives me nuts. and so do knee socks. any socks that go above the shin drive me fucking insane because they don’t sit properly ever, no matter the size the sock or the size i am they FALL. but i own like 4-6 pairs, because they look nice and make me feel pretty when they sit properly. heeseung drives me insane but i want to be his gf ☹️☹️

he’s def the type of guy to fix your socks too when he notices they’re shifting

🎥jay- the wallpaper quotes

like the sad ones everyone had EVERYWHERE. i was on quotev during this time around 2015?? and they were EVERYWHERE. bangchans wallpaper from 2018 core

these aesthetic quotes just remind me of jay. music is everything to him so he’s the mf to reblog this being like

“this resonates with me.”

he’s also very arctic monkeys coded but do what you will with that 😋😋HE WOULD SO POST HIS OWN WRITINGS AND AESTHETIC GUITAR PHOTOS. HES LIKE THE TUMBLR HOT GUY. imagine while he’s like super popular on tumblr ur like the actual “rockstar’s gf” aesthetic. LIKE THAT ONE FUCKING PHOTO OF THE 1975 ROBBERS MUSIC VIDEO??? I THINK IT WAS THAT ONE RIGHT??? i’m attaching it rn

💋jake- the bold lip makeup + messy photos

dayum let me get out of pocket rq again

that really specific dark aesthetic where it’s in parking lots and blurry and you can make out the dark lip makeup, bleached damaged platinum blonde hair, and the makeup is messy. everything is messy

HEUWBDJBFJAVSHDBBD that is jake :) he’s def the type of guy to be like “wait let’s take a cool photo.” then kisses you to smudge your lipstick then snaps a photo with the flash so when you’re alarmed by the flash you move and it makes the photo all cool looking bc it’s blurry.

👓sunghoon- the john green obsession

i’ve read every john green book pre 2016

i hated looking for alaska it was fucking insane. however sunghoon is like the good part about the paper towns book. like the fun road trip part. that happened right? or did i imagine that? NO IT DID. sunghoon very like curl up bbg im gonna read this book to you and make little stupid comments during it. def the type to have you in his arms while he reads, you hold the book and he has his hands over yours, softly rubbing circles.

💍sunoo- the victorias secret aesthetic

this is actually me rn sorry, all my clothes come from there pretty much. if it’s not thrifted it’s from victoria’s secret. it’s not just lingerie, they have like everything there. NONETHELESS it also screams sunoo. a lot of it is very like chic in a way and it just fits him perfectly. the black and pink colors, the small pops. it just really fits him. the aesthetic is just chefs kiss. especially since i feel like he’d be obsessed with the lotions (i own the mint chocolate lotion and wear it)

def the type of bf to come home with new body sprays for both of you. probably mixing scents too. MATCHING JACKETS AS WELL

📸riki- the electra heart album

MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS. god everything abt this album screams riki.

me relistening to this album and realizing how much it did effect me😨😨😨😨 maybe i’m just projecting now but besides the point

that album is so like riki coded let me get quotes

“I think I want your, your American tan- I think you're gonna be my biggest fan”

“The pretty lies, the ugly truth”

“All I ever wanted was the world- I can't help that I need it all”

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek- But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat”

“You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?”

“you don’t love me- big fucking deal”

"question good and question bad."

okay i’m GONNA BE WRITING A BOOK I HAVE TO STOP. he’s def the type of bf where if he hears you listening to this album he’s like “wtf…” then finds himself humming to it. he’d be like that with all your music taste too. riki with black chipped nailpolish OKAY I WILL SHUT UP ABT HIM NOW

[woman-respecter]

hating on an annoying insta author bc i’m a bitch: page powars part 1

prefacing this with saying that i don’t think this person is bad or problematic, just extremely annoying and fulfills my need to indulge in haterism. so don’t harass the author or anything

the instagram algorithm was so kind as to introduce me to an instagram author named page powers. he is currently promoting his book “and they were roommates” (yes it’s named after an outdated vine meme, already off to a great start). rest under the cut bc it’s long

the premise of his book is that the mc dates a guy, the two of them break up, the mc realizes he is trans and transitions to male, and then after some unspecified amount of time they are paired up as roommates at school, and the guy doesn’t recognize mc. this is all that i have learned about the plot or characters from page’s insta other than that it’s SO GAY and TRANS and the love interest is “howl-inspired” (howl of moving castle fame ofc) i do not know anything else about this book or other characters.

oh and one other thing. based on this information how old would you guess the characters are? my guess would be 18, right? like they dated freshman year hs, broke up sophomore year, mc transferred out and began transitioning junior year which gives him enough time to become unrecognizable from what he looked like when he dated love interest. then they happen to go to the same college and are assigned to be roommates. hijinks ensue.

well if you made that very reasonable guess you would be WRONG! they are FIFTEEN! which makes so much less sense. my guess is they started dating at 13, broke up at 14 and within like a year somehow mc was already unrecognizable? i also think no 15-year-old can realistically be howl-esque. and i’m sorry but this whole plot is less impactful this way bc a middle school relationship is not a real relationship.

also what age demographic would this even be for? i feel like most ya readers want to read about characters slightly older than them, especially when it comes to romance. so would this be for 13-14 year olds? but i feel like 13 to 14 year olds aren’t interested in this kind of modern-au-fanfiction-with-the-serial-numbers-filed-off kind of stuff. they like romance, yes, but usually with other sci-fi or fantasy aspects. was i just an insufferable tomboy or was nobody into pure, modern romance before the age of 15-16? i feel like people don’t get into fanficesque books until they are at least 15 and interest in that kind of stuff probably peaks in late teens early 20’s. and this may not be universal but i feel like younger adults reading this kind of wish fulfillment or fanfic-y romance usually want to read about characters their age or older, because they want to imagine they can look forward to a storybook romance. it’s why all those ali hazelwood not!reylo books are about like grad students.

so who is served by making the characters 15? it would make more sense and probably have wider appeal if they were 18 i feel. the author is clearly way above 15 (i don’t know his exact age but i’m guessing like. 27) so i don’t see why it would be easier to write about kids. i’ll get into this later but i also don’t think that it was originally fanfiction about 15 year old anime boys, more likely it’s 20-something dudes from a gacha game. i don’t think this choice is problematic per say just baffling. or maybe i’m just out of touch and there is a market for stories about 15 year olds among the fanfiction-as-literature crowd. i guess heartstopper is a thing.

ok that’s my longwinded rant about one single detail about this book! stay tuned for part 2!

[olympiansowl]

Now I want to speak about Harry Potter and the game (more specifically about house of Black), but I’m also adding here that I do not support the claims of that woman (to this day I will wonder how tf did she write Tonks, who’s has the powers to turn herself into anyone regardless the gender and is my fav female character alongside Minerva). It’s been ages since I’ve read the books, but my father got the game and I only started playing on November.

I had a lot of favorite characters, I loved Sirona (which was kinda how I found out that JKR didn’t have much or anything to do with game since Sirona is a trans woman and one of the kindest women of the game), Matilda, Phineas, Ominis, Natsai, Poppy and Professor Bakar.

Saying all that, here goes some observations and criticism:

Phineas Nigellus Black was known for being arrogant, but he also wasn’t stupid. He was hated, yes, and had a preference for slytherins (just as Albus had for the Gryffindors) but like…he wasn’t useless. Guy was the only male heir of an ancient house, by the time he was the headmaster, he was probably the head of house Black, which would take some political skills and a lot of work. In the game it’s clear that he only cares for his appearance and reputation…which is also weird bc how tf a guy that cares about his reputation would let Hogwarts be attacked while he’s the headmaster? One of the most annoying things on that game regarding this is that Black is said to pass a lot of time in the school, considering his wife asks if she could see him during the holidays or whatever, and he has portraits telling him things, but he just dismisses the Ranrok problem? The problem that could destroy the school that he is in charge, which would also destroy his own reputation bc we had Fig and Matilda telling him about it, not to mention that everyone knew about the thing that happened in Hogsmeade? Didn’t make sense at all.

Another thing that didn’t made sense, at least to me, is that to hire people at Hogwarts, you have to get the headmaster signature. How tf did Matilda convince Phineas to hire all the people she wanted? I’m seriously asking this tho bc Mirabel is a muggle born, Shah is either muggle born or half blood, there are also others who probably aren’t pure bloods…and Phineas is head of house Black. Either he was in love with that woman and let her have her way with it, which I will also take bc kinda interesting how the headmaster who hates students, teachers and school prefers to be at said school than at his house…not to mention that she’s the only one he treats with some respect and also lets her interrupt his speeches, and even says “thank you” after, OR she has a strong and persuasive power. I might take both. Turns things more interesting and dramatic, and they would also be a very hot couple.

The bullying thing. Like, people might not understand what I want to say but his method of quitting bullying was way more effective than Dumbledore’s??? Like, he screamed at the Slytherin that was burning that book, which belonged to a half-blood, and told him (the half blood) to stay out of their way. Was it right? No. I would give him detention. But it made things stop. I might be wrong bc it’s been ages since I read the books but I sincerely don’t remember Albus giving detention or screaming at any Slytherins…he also never punished Snape even tho he made Neville’s life miserable and was like “A Ravenclaw set fire on their cauldron so I’m gonna take 10 points from Gryffindor just to make sure”. Not to mention that Sirius did get away with almost killing Snape when they were teens…

There are things I really liked about the interactions and all, tho, that made things a little bit more interesting to those who like fanfiction and romance (like me): I really liked that dynamic between Phineas and Matilda, him almost dying to say thank you to other people but saying it to her kinda naturally, how he lets her interrupt him and all, his time at school…anyway, I might write something based on that.

I had a HC in my head that Ursula was a lesbian bc her name reminded me of the story of Calisto. So the HC in my head will be that she married Phineas but has an affair with Elladora, his sister who never married. And he knows all about it but doesn’t care since he has his heirs and spends most of his time thinking about a forty and something years old ginger.

Also, there are other things that doesn’t sit right with me about it: I know that the castle rejects headmasters they don’t see as legitimate or fit to the job, something like it. I remember that Umbridge was made headmaster and couldn’t get into Dumblerdore’s tower bc of it. If Phineas was as incompetent as the game tried to pass, I highly doubt he would’ve stayed much. Wouldn’t even make it pass the door.

Another romantic thing: I wanted romance options on the game. I was dying to take Natsai and Ominis out on dates. And we should’ve seen more of Sirona and Mirabel!!! I wanted them to be a lesbian couple so much. Would’ve been cool to see professor Onai and professor Shah interacting, too.

About Ominis Gaunt: I know the fandom has that old hc that pure-blood families made their children practice dark magic and/or used it on them since they were little, there are plenty of fanfictions about it, but I thought it was such an interesting thing to see it on a Gaunt bc people generally write about the Black family that way, which didn’t make a lot of sense to me considering the family is crazy and all but the Blacks that I remember that used dark magic were Bellatrix and Regulus. And they were trained by Voldemort, not by their family. Bellatrix met him when she was like 25.

Which led me to Sebastian Sallow and the use of dark magic! Like sorry uncle Sallow but Sebastian was truly the only one of that family who cared about Anne. His uncle destroying the fruit was so unnecessary. I do understand his anger and pain bc he was out there like “your twin sis will die mate accept it and leave her alone” but I also think it was a little bit stupid of him to use Imperius right there in front of everyone…he could’ve used any other spell and we know it. I do not feel sorry for the goblin or for his uncle, tho…I only feel sorry for Anne.

Speaking of deaths, I was STUNNED with Isidora’s death. Congrats to the actor who played San Bakar bc it was probably the best said “Avada Kedrava” of that franchise. San Bakar saw Niamh Fitzgerald hurt, rushed to her side, Isidora was almost taking two of his friends at the same time and without any effort at all, and he goes avada kedrava and rushes to Niamh again.

The sad thing about Isidora is that she’s just like Sebastian. So obsessed with taking the pain out of people that she manages to get more pain in.

Also, I find it a bit sad that we have towns of characters that should’ve been powerful but we didn’t see their powers…

I would die to see the other teachers and some students in action, we barely saw Ominis use magic and like…he is a Gaunt. He must have some powerful shit inside him. Also, I think Dumbledore should be there too bc of the timeline, but I might be wrong.

Another thing to complain about the game: our decisions don’t really impact much. We can chose to lie or say the truth, to follow Ominis or Sebastian, but we always end up on the same place.

The lack of backstory on the player character is also something. Do we have parents? We are muggle borns, half blood or pure bloods? Who are we, anyway?

Anyway, we don’t see much of important book characters and when we see, the thing that seems to be more accurate is that he doesn’t like his wife (at least it does make sense to me considering people married young at that time and he was thirty when he got married, not to mention that he was the only male heir since his little bro died in childhood) and, ofc, he hates almost everyone. His looks also are accurate considering he’s a Black who likes to have style. And that’s it. And, I might add, there’s always a connection with gingers and the Black family. And Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Oh, professor Binns also seems accurate.

And, as I said, I will probably write a fanfiction about Matilda and Phineas. There’s a fanart of them that made my head spin and now I can’t think about anything else other than him mistaking her bedroom for his while using the floo network (I could actually see it happening since they have the same blankets tho…and this is canon).

[extremely-judgemental]

People like to argue that Cassian showed his love through actions, not words, in ACOSF, so no 'I love you' is fine. But, if actions over words is the theme of ACOSF, then what about Nesta's actions from like, acomaf onwards? Even her encouragement of Feyre to be with the man/fae she loves, and to do what she thinks is right, in ACOTAR, right before under the mountain? I suppose none of that matters then. Oh, also what about Rhysand's actions in prostituting Nesta to Eris, or keeping the pregnancy from Feyre, or laughing at Nesta being punished for something Feyre forgave her for pretty much instantly? Some sjm fans need to get their heads out of their asses.

That’s a lot to address! You just pointed out everything I hate about SF and this fandom. (I’m trying so hard not to rant but sorry😅)

People like to argue that Cassian showed his love through actions, not words, in ACOSF, so no 'I love you' is fine.

It’s interesting how they instantly came up with this justification when these books are romances. The entire plot leading up to that one ‘I love you’ in the end is the point of a romance. When half of the plot is sex and their attraction to each other, how can one accept the MC not saying the three words to the FC (which most of them are imprinting on) even once? These reasons are similar to abuse victim talk, ‘X doesn’t say it but he takes care of me’, ‘X can be a bit rude but at least he doesn’t hit me’, ‘We don’t get along much but at least he doesn’t leave me cold at nights’. This is what Nesta is doing at the end of SF, and also the BC of HOSAF with Ember (I haven’t read it, so fact check that). If throughout the book, Cassian had supported her, took her side, cared for her, been gentle and kind with her, okay, no words are needed, but he openly flamed her insecurities with ‘I don’t know how anyone could love you’. It’s pivotal moment in Nesta’s journey and their relationship which is completely dismissed. Nesta is grovelling for his affection while Cassian is declaring his love for Rhysand instead. I’m sorry, that only happens if the guy comes out and says he’s gay for his bff. Also, let’s not forget this is a guy who is supposed to be emotionally adept and expressive. (I have so many thoughts on this and Cassian’s behaviour but I want to keep this answer about Nesta.)

But, if actions over words is the theme of ACOSF, then what about Nesta's actions from like, acomaf onwards?

I completely agree with you. ‘Action speaks louder than words’ apply to Nesta more than anyone else in the story. Even Feyre does most of the sacrificial acts because of her trauma response. Ignoring the new details added in SF because stans argue those were only included to uplift Nesta, there are many moments to prove this.

1. Nesta takes care of the household. It’s her duty but she has no resentment towards her sisters for not helping her. She even dotes on Elain and that takes a lot of strength for a child.

2. She starves herself to force her father into being a parent. It’s not a selfish act to get burdens off her shoulders, it’s her way of getting her father’s attention so her sisters don’t starve to death.

3. She has a terrible encounter with a mercenary in the past and still lurks close to Feyre afraid to leave her alone with one when she could have bolted.

4. She throws herself in front of Elain when the beast shows up in the hovel.

5. She goes to the Wall looking for Feyre alone with a mercenary (whom she doesn’t trust). At this point, Elain and her father are under the glamour. If she’d died, no one would know how or why.

6. She broke off her relationship because Tomas wouldn’t care for Elain or look for Feyre with her. She puts her family first.

7. The first thing she does when Feyre returns from SC is apologise to her. She’s the one to make the first move to fix their relationship. Knowing Feyre loves to paint, she asks her to teach her. She could have suggested reading or dancing which she enjoys but she puts her sister’s interests first.

8. She encourages Feyre to pursue a life and love with Tamlin knowing her sister isn’t happy in the mortal lands anymore.

9. Her only request in exchange for helping Feyre/IC is to protect Elain. After they are transformed, she sacrifices her own healing to care for her sister and ensuring no one traumatises her more.

10. High Lords meeting, scrying was all so Elain was left out of the war. She wants revenge on Hybern because he hurt Elain and destroyed her life. She isn’t even thinking of what was done to her.

11. She abandons the plan of getting to the Cauldron because she sensed Cassian is in danger, also exposing her location to Hybern who’s been looking for her.

12. She throws herself over Cassian knowing she’ll be killed but still does it anyway. ‘I’d rather die with you than see you die’ (Like come on! You have to be blind not to see this and still take the man child’s side.)

13. She leaves River House because she doesn’t want to burden her sisters. It’s what Feyre always wanted, her exact words in ACOTAR were ‘another mouth to feed’ which is what Nesta is trying to avoid.

14. She scries again when she’s afraid of her powers so that Elain can stay away from the Cauldron.

15. She stands up against anyone who disrespects Cassian, Elain or Feyre.

16. She saves Emerie and Gwyneth in the Blood Rite knowing she’ll probably die.

17. Her love for Cassian is so strong that when she believes he died, she unleashes her powers which she kept hidden until then. (Her powers are new too and this woman never lost control and hurt anyone unlike Rhysand, Tamlin, Feyre.)

18. She sacrifices her powers to save Feyre and her child—a power she stole as a vengeance, a power that’s part of her—because her sister is worth more than all that. For this, she makes a bargain with the Cauldron which she has spited more than once and is afraid of.

These are her specific acts of love and not ‘it’s the right thing to do’ or ‘my sister wants it’. If there’s anyone who’s proved their love in healthy way in this series, it’s Nesta. There’s no condition for her love or limits. She’s unapologetic and fiercely protective of the ones she truly cares about. Also, despite being reserved, she expresses her love and admits her mistakes in words—with Feyre, Cassian, her friends.

Oh, also what about Rhysand's actions in prostituting Nesta to Eris, or keeping the pregnancy from Feyre, or laughing at Nesta being punished for something Feyre forgave her for pretty much instantly?

These stans don’t even hide their hypocrisy. When Rhysand/Feyre/IC do something, their ‘reasons’ count and so their actions can be overlooked. When it’s anyone else, they should be judged on their acts alone. Pick a fucking side already. Nesta considers selling her body for money to care for her sisters—that’s gross. Rhysand sells Nesta to Eris without even hinting at it to anyone, not Feyre, not the WOMAN INVOLVED—feminist king giving power to women. Rhysand endangers Feyre with pregnancy—‘he cares about her!’ Is he the one going to labour? Is it his body growing a killer spawn inside? Is it his body going to tear itself apart to let that child out or bleed to death? ‘Oh, but he didn’t want to put pressure on her’ More than finding out the child is going to kill her when the hormones are riding high and she’s on the brink of labour?

And Nesta being punished is ridiculous. Who is Feyre to forgive Nesta in the first place when it was Nesta making meals for her and doing chores? All Feyre did was hunt and paint, she says so herself. Anyone who hunts knows you can’t and shouldn’t do it everyday as it’s not good for kill. So Feyre was doing nothing on some days and still didn’t know how to do chores? If Nesta deserves Feyre’s forgiveness, Feyre should apologise too and make up for treating her sisters like maids.

AND why does Nesta need Rhysand’s forgiveness? I have sisters too and we have broken up with guys for far less than this shit. It’s not romantic. It’s a red flag and a sign of immaturity, manipulation and abuse. It shows the guy is incapable of seeing perspectives and understanding others who aren’t directly related to him or beneficial to him. That he might very well isolate you from the ones who truly and deeply know you so that you’re left with no one else but him. No woman will sit around and watch her sister get punished by a man for something that happened between them unless she hates her sister and is indirectly feeding off of it.

This fandom is toxic af. If they sat down with their grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters, girl friends and had an honest talk, they will see how similar all these are to the ABUSE they live with. Nesta’s story is very close to my heart even if I hate to admit it. Not because I loved the book or even Nesta, but it’s the story of the women in my family and the one my cousins and my sisters are trying to avoid. Whenever anyone romanticises Nessian relationship, it’s hard to hate/be angry with these girls when I know some of them will live this and that’s when they will face the harsh reality. It doesn’t matter how hot Cassian is, how hot their sex is, none of it matters when he doesn’t care or even respect a woman for than her body.

[kwop-kilawtley]

yeah no, ever noticed how Bella act's so defensive and offended whenever Jacob calls the Cullens "leeches" and "bloodsuckers" or is generally mean about them but doesnt say sht when the Cullens (except Carlisle and Esme but they dont say shit either) call Jacob "dog" "mutt" or (fuck you Edward) "mongrel". I get Bella being pissed enough to call him that in Eclipse bc she was forced into a kiss, but in Breaking Dawn after she became a vampire and flipped out over Jacob imprinting (which yea sucks but he cant control it and she knows that) she starts calling him slurs too. (and I reiterate, the Cullens dont do shit to stop or restrain her, and Seth ended up injured because of it!!)

I've seen twilight reddit cope about how it's ""fair"" and ""justified"" bc they do it to each other but it's not the same imo? "leech"/"bloodsucker"/"parasite" DONT have a history of racial discrimination. words like "dog"/"mutt"/"mongrel" DO. The vampire vs werewolf trope isnt the issue here - in Twilight where ALL the "werewolves" are poc and the main vampires are all white, and the werewolves' exist BECAUSE of the vampires, the hate looks very one-sided imho. It's clear who's being discriminated here, and it's not the rich white vampires lmao

Oh twilight reddit, how I hate you so. Haven’t been on there in a while because the last time I posted photos of my twilight merch shrine/shelf, I got smeyer simps shaming me for having Jacob merch. Some attempted to debate with me on this post. Like really, team Jacobs aren’t welcome in any twilight space tbh. They will attack you for simply owning Jacob merch or they’ll at least question it. My post literally got downvoted lol.

So yeah, fuck Reddit. I have had this literal debate you mention on reddit. Theres one idiot in particular on reddit who really says that the wolves are the ones being racist cause they “started” with the slurs. Fucking idiots <3

It’s not at all the same thing when the wolves call the cullens parasites and bloodsuckers. Because I mean it’s literally true, that is what they are. I’d say those are just synonyms for vampire. But aside from that, the wolves existence is BECAUSE of vampires. The DANGER and predatorial nature FORCED them to phase in the first place. And the cullens who could literally live anywhere, were the ones who did it. The cullens actually have no right to call them “dog” “mongrel” “mutt.” These words are not synonymous with “wolf” or “shapeshifter.” Like if the pack wants to call themselves giant dogs humorously, then they’re allowed to. But these fucks use it as a slur.

In general, there is a lot of coping from the team edwino smeyer simp side. They’re deeply insecure and need to protect their feeble white billionaire indestructible immortals at all costs who “won” in the end in canon. Like they need it. They will not even stand for Jacob defending though, forget it. And let’s be real, they don’t give a fuck about the pack lol. Some admit to entirely skipping over their chapters. Which, fine but then don’t try and debate and say shit when you literally don’t even know the text.

To me the vamp vs werewolf is a metaphor for racial disparity but yes, the fact that the pack are indigenous makes this so much worse. I mean, they cannot live on their reservation in peace without colonizer billionaire bloodsuckers moving in and upending their lives even more. They certainly are not well off either and for some reason have to cut their fucking hair. Hate it here!!!!!

I mean I was 10 years old when I first read twilight and I saw these themes LOUD in my face. It’s very much there and obvious. If I was able to see it then how can’t grown adults see it now? Sure you can enjoy your little teen romance book and love the cullens, most of the fandom fits this category, but please do not try to engage in debate with us who aren’t completely under vampire thrall like Bella LMAO. Like seriously it’s straight up ignorance and then their cope is “it’s just fiction about vamps and wolves wahhhh.” Okay again, ignore the racism and blaringly obvious disparity here but don’t engage in meaningful discourse about the topic. Keep it surface level.

Smeyer can use all the flowery prose she wants, she can make the cullens seem like angels, she can attempt to make Carlisle and esme who are cardboard cut out characters seem like the best uwu parents. She can try to make them all seem caring and loving uwuuu. She can make the wolves and cullens work together and make it seem like all is well. But the wolves don’t wanna deal with this shit. It is bullshit that they have to in the first place.

Also, Edward even before the cullens was a rich private school kid. He literally doesn’t get it nor will he ever. He gives Bella the damn diamond chunk on her little wolf bracelet I mean GODDDDDDD I hate it here!!

None of this is a reach nor is it like buried beneath the text. It is all very much right there. It’s even clearer in Jacobs pov but most of the story is in Bella’s POV so maybe it’s not super apparent to some, but it definitely was to me at age 10 and has been forever.

As for that scene in BD, thank god I forgot it cause that shit is simply not real to me. <33333

[oakgreenoak]

3, 7, 8, any fandom. DENT KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💥💥💥💥

3. description or screenshot of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I have seen. so many. so many Takes in my time. lessee if i can think of some

H2G2 – Maybe the guy that sent an anon to potato-lord that insisted that Douglas Adams was wrong about Ford Prefect (his own character) being smart and insisted he’s actually stupid.

I could also easily say any of the takes the legendary BEP left in our server in the scant time she was there but that's cheating bc it's not tumblr. "Arthur can't be gay because he had no reason to be closeted in 1970s England he would have been Cool actually" lives in my head rent free tho

Pokemon – “Genderbending is transphobic somehow” discourse with the added dumbass flair of, almost verbatim, “If you want to ship Red with a female version of Green, Daisy is right there”; ok so i guess we’re forgetting daisy is her own independent character w a different personality and character dynamics than her brother? Real progressive of you, person who bitches all the time about how being too busy with yaoi to draw/write female characters is sexist.

MHA – I avoid reading MHA tumblr or reddit takes as much as possible. I value my sanity.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

HONESTLY all of these are characters i already didn’t really jive with in canon bc shitty fans cant easily turn me against a character I like on their own but they can absolutely make me resent a character i already didn’t gel with

H2G2 – Fenchurch. just… Fenchurch.

Pokemon – RUBY. Pokespe fucking Ruby. He’s an annoying character to begin with – I could go on a fuckin rant about all the shit I don’t like about rs arc and like ¾ of it’s his fault in some manner. but people act like he’s an amazing subversive character and like the fuckin personality switch reveal wasn’t one of the most stupid sexist fuckin things put to paper. He’d be better if he was just gay and didn’t have a freudian reason for it.

MHA – HONESTLY. Toga Himiko. like ok i do think that the epilogue did her super dirty but in general i just do not like her but shes EVERYWHERE. the most annoying kinds of people adore the boring yandere character

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

H2G2 – book 4 isn’t good! the romance isn’t cute! it’s just another example of “female character exists Solely to be love interest/reward for male protagonist” and it’s Grody. sorry not sorry for fenchcourse on main

Pokemon – answered!

MHA – Bakugou not facing punitive justice for being a bully in middle school is, like, kinda the point (the teachers/society in general didn’t care what he did then because he was Privileged and Deku’s quirklessness is basically an x-men style allegory for disability/being a minority.) He doesn’t however still “need to face consequences” because like. his entire character arc from the sludge villain up to the apology is him repeatedly Facing Consequences For His Shitty Actions. the narrative is constantly beating his ass. this is also Kinda The Point. anime fans read a book challenge

[noemilivv]

Love the blog theme and colours! Esp the header. Can I get a HH matchup? The description is mostly pasted from another ask I did before, but like, I really don't have a new way do describe myself. Idk if this is as bad as sending the same propmp to two blogs, lmk cause I don't want to be disrespectful here

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Looks: my style has a rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too. I'm 5’7, athletic but not ripped, gray eyes and wavy blonde hair. Ironically (in this context) lots of ppl call me an angel/angelic-looking. Not going to lie, that feeds into my ego a little bit but I don't really get what they mean. I wear makeup too, love the fox eye trend

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ 🙄 cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I‘m close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on it

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). They have to be somewhat funny. Just… not serious all the time at least. Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

first of all, thx!! my blog is all lute themed because i love her sm haha, also imo it’s not disrespectful so dw, but if some other blog gives you crap, i gotchu, anyway this was such a hard tie between quite a few characters, but here’s who i decided to pair you with…

Angel Dust !!

I was debating so hard between him, Husk, or Charlie — but decided with Angel cause he’s a happy medium imo

I feel like you and Angel can bond well, but under the correct conditions and circumstances, like you both have been through shit and it sucked — and it probably still has a tight grip on you today, but you guys give each other the boost to keep trucking along, you’re each others reasons to get out of bed each day, each others cheerleaders for lack of a better term

You definitely enjoy Angel because he’s not afraid to talk a bit of shit, but he’s also not as serious as Husk, he can have a good time, he also matches your flirty energy a lot so you guys kinda just bounce comebacks and random shit off eachother

Angel is ALL IN for your “rockstar + angelic partner” look, thinks it’s hot asf, genuinely thinks you were in Heaven at one point or another because of how undeniably beautiful you are

Angel also enjoys the kickass hater in you, you guys could sit and gossip and talk shit for several hours, but you both kinda keep eachother in check from going too far — especially infront of others

Despite Hazbin being a musical, I’d like to think Angel is canonically a good singer, because cmon, how could he not be with a VA like Blake Roman?? So he could easily sing at and/or for you, bitch would serenade you😩😩

Also bro finds the fact that you hate sharks hilarious asf, I could see him deciding to be a little fucker and getting you a shark plush as a gag/joke gift on Christmas or smth (or I guess Hellsmas?? Idfk.)

[shunchitaro]

Chishiya x F!Y/N

Genre: Confusing Romance (literally) In which both parties have mixed feelings about each other (No bc this suits him so well esp since he's a character that's so hard to predict) Note: Slightly ooc, doesn't take place in the borderlands, college au I suggest listening to this song and knowing the lyrics before reading this to connect to the oneshot better

["Every time we talk, it just hurts so bad 'Cause I don't even know what we are"]

Y/N L/N was sitting at a table alone at lunch with her chin rested on her arms, zoning out. Why you might ask?

Her best friend was Chishiya Shuntaro. They both were close- like two peas in a pod. He was the only other girl that he got along with properly aside from Kuina. Like he was with Kuina, he was comfortable to be with Y/N hours on end. The pros of this was that Y/N easily got help for her thesis and such, and she also got to go to the arcade with Kuina whilst Chishiya paid for their arcade tickets.

But being best friends with Chishiya Shuntaro was also a con in itself.

Chishiya wasn't easy to predict. Not even Kuina, who new him longer than Y/N did, could predict him. Chishiya wasn't the type to be an open book- you'd have to read between the lines to know him better. He wasn't also very open about his emotions. Though he did laugh around with the two girls, he didn't show any emotion other than happiness around them. This also meant that Kuina and Y/N has never seen him in love.

Because of Chishiya's lack of showing if he ever had a love interest, it made Y/N overthink.

Naturally, Y/N had her opinion but she didn't want to seem like she was assuming. It annoyed her though that she couldn't read Chishiya. Normally something like this wouldn't bother her, unless she had a huge fat crush on him.

Which she did.

Oh how she hated how he messed with her. It wasn't like she really was down bad for him at first, but the way he acted with her made her so frustrated.

Frustrated because it made her think he was interested in her.

Y/N slightly jerked as she felt a hand on her head, patting it lovingly as the sound of a chair scraping against the floor was heard; and a soft plop indicating someone had taken the seat next to her. "Are you alright, Powder?" The voice asked with a strong hint of concern, and it only made Y/N's heart sink even more.

The reason the voice called her 'Powder' was because she once absentmindedly drank a cup of cocoa powder, forgetting she hadn't poured hot water into the cup yet.

The reason she hated the voice was because it belonged to none other than Chishiya Shuntaro.

She glanced up only for her eyes to clash with his dark orbs. Her eyes scanned his facial features: from his knitted eyebrows to his small smirk, drifting to the beauty mark right under his left eye.

"Do I look a mess, or is there handsome written all over my face?" He teased

'Yes, Chishiya, you're so handsomely attractive it's annoying'

"Handsome? Don't feel so mighty about yourself, you look like a monkey" She interjected instead.

She felt something tugging at her shoes and looked underneath the table to see his shoe stepping on her shoelace and pulling away, causing her lace to untie.

She scowled and smacked his arm making him groan as she reached down to also untie his lace. "Jeez, your shoelace was already loose." Chishiya winced, rubbing his arm.

Kuina suddenly appeared, wrapping her arms around their shoulders.

"Guys, let's hang out at my place. There's a new movie and a friend of mine downloaded it, so we can watch it at home."

Y/N looked at Kuina "Isn't that illegal?" "As if those series you watch aren't on illegal sites" Chishiya said as Y/N smacked him yet again.

"Stop fighting and answer me, are you going or not?" Kuina asked, making Chishiya look at Y/N.

"I'm going if Powder is"

His statement made Y/N's heart flutter but she ignored it, rolling her eyes. "I'm going, why would I back out of a hang out with dearest Kuina?"

__________________

They were at Kuina's place and it had been a few hours or so. They were munching on snacks and Kuina sighed, throwing her gaming console on her bed. "Snacks won't do, I'll go heat the pasta so we can have a proper meal." She said as she headed out of her room.

Y/N continued playing but could see Chishiya at the corner of her eye as he got up and shifted to Kuina's seat which was next to her.

"What are you doing? That's Kuina's seat." She mentioned, turning her head to face him.

He didn't speak but leaned towards her and she moved back on impulse, only for him to grab her chin gently.

Y/N's breath hitched as she looked at Chishiya, her eyes darting on either of his. She watched as his gaze moved from her right eye to her left then to her forehead, before dropping to her lips. Y/N's grip on the console weakened and she felt as if her heart stopped then and there.

'Is he actually about to kiss me-?'

"Silly girl, can't you eat properly? You have chip crumbs in your mouth." He muttered calmly, his thumb swiping on the corner of her lips before pulling away and moving back to his seat, continuing to play like nothing happened.

Y/N again felt that horrible pit at her stomach with a mix of butterflies, but chose to push it aside.

Kuina came back to the room with a big bowl of pasta and three forks, and they all sat on the floor to eat. Chishiya had clumsily dropped his fork, making Kuina snicker. Without hesitation he took Y/N's fork out of her hand- twirling it in the pasta before lifting it to his mouth, but Kuina stopped him. "Oi, that's Y/N's fork. Go get another one or use mine, you know Y/N's still eating right?"

He just looked at her, eyebrows raised with that signature cheeky smile of his. "Well you're also eating. I'm too lazy to get up and besides you eat like a goat, your fork as sauce all over it. Y/N's fork is neater." He said as he ate the pasta on the same fork Y/N was just using.

Y/N stared in disbelief, her eyes trying to read him for any sort of sign if he was just simply messing with her.

Yet again she was falling for him even harder, yet again Chishiya Shuntaro couldn't see the things he was doing to Y/N.

_________________

Soon enough it was getting late so the two had to head home, both saying goodbye to Kuina before walking to the bus stop.

It was a quiet comfortable stroll, yet Y/N's throat itched to spill out what she'd wanted to ask Chishiya.

"I can feel that something is bothering you." Chishiya spoke randomly as he walked ahead slowly, hands in his pockets.

"Are you my psychiatrist?" Y/N jokes as she walks, stopping a few steps behind Chishiya since he too had stopped walking.

"Yes, in a year's time once I've graduated college and put up my own studio. I'll be generous enough to offer you a 10% discount on your first session."

Y/N could tell he was joking to ease the mood.

But then if she could tell whenever he was joking, why couldn't she tell if he was just messing with her in a friendly way?

"Tell me what's on your mind, Powder." He spoke gently, taking a step closer to her.

Y/N could feel that the wall she was trying to build was falling apart. It was so easy for Chishiya to capture her emotions in such a way that he could make her weak in the knees with just a few words.

"I can't tell you-" "Because you think it will ruin our friendship? Nothing you say can do that Y/N, I assure you. Please tell me what's on your mind." He interrupted her as she stood, mouth slightly agape at his immediate comprehension of her emotions.

She hesitated, nibbling the inside of her cheek before giving in. "It's just, I feel like what's happening between us is confusing me. I admit that I admire you but I can't say it to your face. The way you look at me makes me weak and I find it so hard to stop myself from telling you how I truly feel.. but certainly there's no way I could end up with you."

He remained silent for a few moments before responding. "Why?"

"I know you just see me as a friend, so I'm sorry I'm overwhelming you with my emotions." He was going to interrupt but she continued. "Every time you look at me the way you do now I have to constantly remind myself that I'm just a friend to you, and you're a friend who's just looking out for me-"

"Friends don't look at friends that way." He finally interrupts, causing Y/N's eyebrows to knit together in confusion.

"What?"

Instead of replying, he chuckled and turned away, continuing to walk to the bus stop.

"After class tomorrow, wait for me outside the school gate. We can eat out at your favorite cafe and study together.

'Is this a da-'

"Before you ask, yes it's a date."

Her lips lifted into a smile as she walked after Chishiya, feeling a bubbly feeling inside.

Maybe Y/N no longer needed to worry about what Chishiya really thought about her.

A/N: heyy guys, another update. I wanted to write this because i'm in a similar situation (i think) with my crush. OR i'm probably being delusional, which seems more of a realistic answer. The reason I came up with the 'Powder' nickname is because that's what my crush calls me. I hope you have a lovely day! If you have requests, kindly put it on the Author's Note section of this oneshot compilation :))

[sunsh1n3s]

using this platform as an excuse to talk about books — so here’s what i read 2023 and what i recommend:

[ the storyteller: tales of life and music - dave grohl ] i am a huge foo fighters fan and grew up with my mom loving dave grohl, the stories he tells in this book are not chronological; but they are beautiful. it makes me admire this man more than i did, he’s truly inspiring. 4.5/5 stars, -0.5 because i could not retain as well when it would jump from year to year.

[ suicide notes - michael thomas ford ] i did not enjoy this book for as much as it was overhyped. i understood the plot, i understood the story, it was gripping but not generally moving. a common coming-of-age young romance with mental illness; not bad yet not the best. 2/5 stars, -3 because i did not like how slow and basic the storyline was, though i liked few of the characters

[ daisy jones & the six - taylor jenkins reid ] OH IM A TAYLOR JENKINS REID GIRLIE NOW. i had previously heard of evelyn hugo but at the time djats series had just came out, and i was curious to read the book. i watched the pilot and was sold, you’d think a hippie gal who loves rock bands would pass this up ?? TJR’s book style is so easy for me to get into too, i could NOT put the book down. greta writing and great storyline, forever a camila kinner and truther. -4.5/5 stars, -0.5 bc i HATED billy dunne and book eddie loving.

[ 11/22/63 - stephen king ] i read this for extra credit in my language arts class and when i tell you i’ve been DYING to read this book since i saw my mom read it. my roman empire is the JFK presidency and assassination, and i’ve always enjoyed stephen king… so this was just a chefs kiss. although, mr stephen king holds onto scenes a little too long and it could’ve been a 600 page book, not 800. so sometimes i caught myself snoozing, but i loved the concept loved the book. time traveling + historical + thriller + romance = 4/5 starred book, -1 only because it was longer than it should’ve been

[ water for elephants - sara gruen ] this book is one of those “it gets good at the end” books. i put this book down twice and it took me majority of the year to get into it. i did not enjoy the beginning, but over time and chapters it became better. true story on a circus with what i’m guessing are fictional main characters. either way it was good, good paced, and interesting. definitely makes you look at circuses or any animal show differently. 3/5 stars, -2 just cause the beginning was slow

[ intensity - dean koontz ] …. now wtf. i read this bc my mom recommended it… don’t read it. it’s good it’s crazy it blows your mind, but it is so so fucked up. it’s a murder story and it’s just gross and weird. intensity is the right title, it was very intense. i was holding my breath on so many scenes, yet it was somehow enjoyable just because of how much of a thriller it was. 3/5, -2 only cause i would never read it again, and it was gross.

[ red, white, & royal blue - casey mcquiston ] i noticed this was a movie so i thought why not watch it, i don’t tend to watch stuff before i read it, but i wanted a judgement on this book. i loved the movie just bc it was so cutesy and the characters were so in love. and i got that right in the book. definitely your typical cheesy teenage romance book with light smut, and very gay. so as much as people critique it, i enjoyed it and it was what i needed to read or have in that moment. just a sappy and cutesy love story. 4/5 stars, -1 because i wasn’t left as content as i thought i’d be

[ the seven husbands of evelyn hugo - taylor jenkins reid ] taylor jenkins reid the woman that you are. i understood the hype, i loved the book, it was written so well. there’s twists and just emotion and i loved it. i tabbed the book and everything. i just loved it, it’s truly a gripping and great story. fuck men, except for one he was a sweetheart. plus it’s around marilyn monroe/rita hayworth actress era and i eat that shit up. 5/5 stars, she’s just that girl.

[ the book thief - markus zusak ] :( i love this book but oh is it sad. i reread it for a school unit. liesel meminger you’re a remarkable girl. 4/5 stars, point off bc we had to do assignments on it and i hated one section of the book.

[ the complete persepolis - marjane satrapi ] during the iran revolutions and conflicts with the shah and stuff. it was okay, not my favorite but not bad. also a graphic novel!! autobiography also, pretty neat. 3/5 stars, not my cup of tea and we had to do stupid assignments on them that made us think too hard abt it

[1d1195]

The banter/dialogue that you write is really good! Especially with Niall bc I’m pretty sure we all know it’s really harmless so I’m constantly enjoying reading it! And had to look up that clip and I SEE THE VISION! LOVE IT HAHA!! honestly idk why I wasn’t a fan?! genuinely had nothing against them and I had a lot of friends who were into them plus I found them cute enough but idk WHY my brain couldn’t get into it lol also LOVE a good protective man trope, it just HITS when done right!

In that alternate timeline I would like to believe that Harry suffered a lot for being a dick! And he had to grovel a lot for making her cry! Idk I’m a simple girl I love when men suffer😁! And slow burns are my preferred vibe tbh lol I love the yearning and the pinning! ALSO that part 4 sneak peak, SO EXCITED!

Oh I support her being grumpy like you cannot make me hate her! Like I get it! VERY excited for when you decide to show us what’s you’ve been hinting! I just know you never miss!

Never been there since I haven’t been to the east coast but sounds like if I ever do visit I will NOT being going there bc that sounds like hell😭 theres many places here that are constantly so packed there’s truly never a break😭! The vibes are never good, so many people, and not enough cashiers/self checkout the lines are CRAZY😭

Wait that’s so cool that you did a research proposal for it!! But it’s sweet how you try to help your students with it! It’s sucks but it’s nice to know that your students have someone to help with that! AP anything was so bad😭 those crazy timed tests just made everything worse! So I don’t blame you!

It doesn’t make you sound old! And I understand what you mean! I think it’s a time thing too. Especially with how rn it feels like there’s no end in sight or how I fear I’m still going to feel this way. Time is something that allows for a better understanding, it’s just hard sometimes to remember when you’re deeply in it lol But I get what you mean about them feeling different! It would make sense due to you obviously changing in everyday aspect whether it be career wise or personal life!

Yay I’m so happy work went well! It’s the beginning of the year so it is a bit exciting since it’s kinda new with getting to learn about your students and stuff. But I’m hoping this can continue!

It’s so sweet of you to even notice my absence 😭 I’ve always told myself that if I were to ever take a long break or delete my account for good I would let you know so that there wouldn’t be any worry! Yeah it was not easy at all trying to navigate this episode on top with school. But it’s my last week FINALLY!! So I just have to push through this last bit!

It’s not lame! If anything I’ve always believed in that kind of thing! I definitely feel better with the shorter hair now but mainly because the heat is still so strong here and I don’t have to have such an extensive hair care routine! Plus I’m just so excited to change my hair color soon so shorter hair is better overall lol I’m trying to sleep and stay hydrated! I hope you are doing the same too! And you’re too kind!

It may be the same stuff that you’re aware of but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt when you’re feeling like this! I hope that you don’t get to that kind of low that you experience last week any time soon! I’m glad that you’ve started to have some better days/moments especially with reading your books! A good romance story is always a win! And you can truly embed go wrong with a good single dad and nanny trope! Love that for you! Also idk if you’ve ever mentioned it or not but do you annotate your books?!(Btw the fact that you finished honey already is so CRAZY in the best way!)

Omg Sam😭 no youre literally the sweetest!! The kindness that you have can be felt right through the screen! YOU are so loved!!! You also deserve all love and happiness too! I LOVE YOU!!! Wishing you the best as always!-💜

For the best you weren’t a fan. I was CONSTANTLY exhausted by them. I told my friend all the time how much I wanted them to just stop leaving the house because I couldn’t keep up. I was worried ALL the time about them ☠️

I’m glad you liked the sneak peek! I also love when men suffer HAHAHA perhaps I’ll add it to the check-ins and alt reality one like I did for Dolcezza 🤔

Market basket is old school so no self check out there. The cashiers are pretty efficient but there’s ALWAYS lines up the wazoo.

I’m glad you think it was cool because I did NOT think it was cool. In fact I HATED it so much. My math brain was not meant to write in that kind of capacity. I enjoyed reading about it though! Interesting stuff! I loved my basic psych classes I took so I always find reading how the brain works (especially in crazy teen heads).

LAST WEEK! 🥳🥳🥳 love that for you! I hope you get some time to relax and do fun things! I always miss you when I don’t hear from you but I always want you to prioritize your health first so if I end up missing you it’s okay 💕💕

Honey just came POURING out of me. I can’t explain it. I feel like I fucked up the last couple parts though and I refuse to look at them again so I don’t overthink it lol but 6, 7, 8 gave me a bit of trouble 😅

I do not annotate my books. I’m pretty pure about my books but I will ALWAYS highlight a funny quip about the expense of men. I don’t remember the exact line nor book but I def highlighted something that said “it seemed men were the cause of the issue” like that just BEGS to be highlighted and underlined. I think annotating is cute though. I borrowed a book from a friend who annotates and it was actually SO much fun to read because she noticed so many things that I did not. Plus she’s funny as fuck, so it was like bonus content reading her thoughts.

Love you! 💕 happy last week of classes! 🎉

Xoxo

[h-pelessly]

June Reads

When You Left Me Speechless by Jess Christine (9/10) I loved this book so much. Most ARC reads are good enough, but they don’t make me feel anything. But this one was so cute. Not only did I enjoy it because it made me realize what I wanted in life, I loved Poppy and Logan’s story as well. Poppy is independent and wants to focus on school, so I kind of see myself through her. Logan’s a teacher, and the whole profession makes me swoon. The thing I didn’t love about the book is the FWB aspect, but other than that, I loved how patient Logan is with her. Poppy was mostly the iffy one in the relationship, but her concerns are valid. And she had a past where she let a man stand in the way of her future/education so she’s valid. The FWB aspect was unnecessary in my opinion because I feel like they were so enamoured with each other before that. The conflict in this one was stupid, but parents do unruly things for their children so I get it. I loved this one.

Our Secret Game by Janisha Boswell (7.3/10) This book wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. The characters (found family) interacting with one another bothered me because how are you acting like this in your twenties but like I’m here for the romance which is there. Nora, which is a stupid name like how are you going to tell me this is a young adult? You can’t. Anyways, is trying to get over her ex for months, which is understandable, but like six months? Insanity like she’s still so mad like please have some maturity. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been led on or cheated on or anything? So she fake dates her best friend, who she has always thought was annoying which didn’t make sense to me. How are you claiming he’s your best friend when you act so much better/different with your girlfriends? He, Wes, is not your best friend!! Do not lie to me. But also, the girls are such bad friends like Cat is so engrossed with her bf like I get you had your book and moment, but your friend needs you???? And Elle or whatever the fuck her name is left Nora with her ex when it was clear she, Nora, was uncomfy??? Like i don’t care if u are uncomfy. If you guys are as good as friends as you claim, don’t leave her in moments of stress? Nora and Wes fake date, but it’s to Wes’s benefit because he’s always been in love with Nora so he is sweet. But also, Wes has STRONG family and individual problems. I don’t think it should’ve been resolved that quickly or a relationship could’ve fixed it. Anyway, I had iffy feelings about Wes. He was sweet and romantic, but also, like you need to grow up and realize you need help. I don’t think they should’ve ended up together. They are cute and stuff, but like Nora only gets with him due to forced proximity and her horniness. Wes deserves her, but he doesn’t need a relationship right now. I do love this was POC written and had an Asian non-MC.

Don't Let Her Stay by Nicola Sanders (6/10) This was an audiobook that I nearly DNF'ed. I wanted something like Freida McFadden bc her books are so easy to digest, but I didn't want to finish all her books so I decided to give mystery/thriller books a chance. I hated this one. It was so slow, and the gaslighting was INSANE. This woman marries a rich man, has a child, moves far in the countryside with him. Then, his daughter from another marriage visits, and weird stuff happens. False, it wasn't weird. It was just a kid fighting for their dad's love or whatever. The kid, Chloe, is 20 and calls her dad "daddy", is nasty to the wife, is creepy to their child or whatever. Everytime the wife tells the husband, he gaslights her as well as the half child or whatever. Anyways so they end up killing the husband because the wife is manipulated into thinking he is why his late wife, Chloe's mom, is dead, but it turns out that it was Chloe all along. I hated the characters so much. This book was honestly a waste of my time.

Her Wicked Plan by Hannah Jo (8/10) I really enjoyed this book. I didn't know if I'd be into it, but the blurb and tropes seemed interesting as an ARC reader. I love Veronica and the insane asylum. I love how much character Veronica had, but Leo on the other hand... he's... something. He was annoying and a little whiny bitch, but when he's with Vee, I suddenly can stand him. Leo is the voice of reason and whatnot but like he's also an overthinker and needs to be a little more professional (or vice versa, but make up your damn mind.) And the spice?! Oh lord. Makes me think unholy things I want to try. The ending definitely fucked me up. Even though it's expected, it still took me by surprise like how was she able to fake it that much? Granted, she is a patient at an asylum and pleaded mental insane, but that freaking hurt as a romance girlie. But could I have liked it if that ending didn't happen and they got their HEA?

Wrecked by Lauren Asher (7/10) This has been the best one so far out of her Dirty Air series, but the tension is so immediate and the same, it's repetitive. Like I don't feel anything at all. I've come to the realization that F1 is a hot sport, but the way it's written makes you expect it to be a hot sport and them as celebrities. Maybe because she also admitted Lewis Hamilton, a real life F1 driver, was Jax. It's weird, but I mean besides the look, it shouldn't be like him. Unless it is then it's weird. Elena surprisingly had a very heavy and dark background for being a sunny character. Jax did as well, and to find out he has the disease just killed me like this man is going through it. I also hated the way Lauren wrote about his anxiety and then it's just forgotten. Overall, the better book out of the other two with heavy characters, but some parts bored me so much.

Overtime by Mari Loyal (9.5/10) I actually really liked this one. I thought I liked the first one, but this one felt so much better. Maybe because it seemed like the perfect book for someone who I read growing up (since the first book was 5/6 years ago and Aran, the MMC, grew up.) The tension and angst made me giggle so much, and the FMC was such a cutie pie who struggled to love herself because she surrounded herself with people who didn't love her for herself. She's also an author so that made me love her so much more. The way this book was a clean romance/closed door one, but it had me giggling and kicking my feet so much. I also loved the fact that more hockey is on page in this one. Like are you just writing about it because it's hot or because you know it? I love tutor x jock trope so this was definitely right up my aisle. I'm so proud of Mari Loyal.

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelidas (7.5/10) I throughly enjoyed this audiobook. It was long and out of my comfort zone, yes. But I did love how detailed the author goes into psychotherapy and just the therapy aspect of it. Long story short, Alicia shoots her husband, Gabriel, and is placed in an insane asylum instead of jail because she goes silent. Theo wants to figure out why so he works as her therapist. I thought it was super weird how invested Theo was to Alicia's story at first like I know it's like a celebrity death/murder in a small town, but this dude was too obsessed like let it go!!! To find out he's behind why she killed her husband like that made so much sense. But the fact that he tried to drug her after he got her to talk again. I'm so fucking confused. Anyways, it was a good book, but I'm not too keen on the genre.

The Reluctant Roommate by Angela Casella (6.8/10) It wasn't horrible, but I didn't have a fun time reading it. I just got so bored reading it and it felt so long for no reason whatsoever. I got this for free during a SYK event, and when reading the tropes, I was interested, but it's part of a series. Technically it's a standalone, yes, but I believe the best way to read it is in order to feel the character development and to grow an attachment to them. Literally they were just characters on a piece of paper for me, and like the characters had zero chemistry. Like how are you going to tell me that he's been in love with her since he was six because he brings her a cup of water??? I love the FMC's sassiness, but in this case, it made her extremely childish because again, the author expects you to know her personality and doesn't explain it well in this book. Don't even get me started on the fairy godparents aka the PI investigators. Who the FUCK do they think they are? Like this bitch Nicole does some good or at least helps her out and expects her, the FMC, and literally everyone else to bow at her feet. She was so infuriating. Idk, this book was just not for me.

[castle-dominion]

c1x1 flowers for your grave

Apparently the petals were silk. Frame rate could use some help. Sexy murder tho.

I didn't realize Gina was introduced so early!

I feel bad for the normal detective from the initial pilot that they replaced in the series/extended pilot with ryan, probs be he looks cuter. Unless my man lived in NY whereas SD (KR) lived in LA.

I've watched the commentary version of this & wowie there is a lot that makes sense the second time around

Wow what a sexy pilot episode. HOLY CRAP WHERE IS RYAN'S CLOTHING I CAN SEE HIS ENTIRE TORSO /hyp.

LP: Even bought her flowers. Who says romance is dead? KB: I do. Every Saturday night.

Espt in the first episode talking abt just doing his work, getting paid, & going home. The first episode really is trying to set characters right off the bat even tho I feel like they didn't get their groove until e4 (which is why I'm watching these backwards).

Don't you guys read? Doesn't mean they specifically read Castle books.

Castle puppydog face uwu, also wow stubble man. Must be a huge rebound for NF after his last show. Martha & Alexis getting their characters set XD. lmao Gray-dar! She sounds so young! I love alexis! (But at least where I live it is legal for a guardian or a guardian's partner to give their kid alcohol in the safety of their own home.)

New york, LA, NY, LA

RC: When I was your age... (he stops himself) I can’t tell that story. It's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly, is my point. Don’t you want to have wildly inappropriate stories that you can’t tell your children?

CASTLE Just once, I’d like someone to come up to me and say something new. BECKETT (O.S.) Mr. Castle? [Castle turns around and pulls out a pen.] CASTLE Where would you like it? [Beckett approaches and holds up her badge.] BECKETT Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight. [Alexis takes the pen while she hangs around his shoulder.] ALEXIS That’s new. (https://scriptline.livejournal.com/16926.html)

Again, the intro is so much bigger than it is in the future.

Says here that you stole a police horse? And you were nude at the time?

Castle is kinda gross sometimes. I am glad I saw him in later seasons bc now seeing the start I know I would Hate Him. I kind of do. Beckett is so strong & castle is such a boy.

Ooh music. I noticed good music earlier too.

RC: C’est apres minuit dans un school night. Don’t you turn into a pumpkin or something? Wow language alexis!

the physicality is so cute & sweet.

[Beckett comes in carrying a box full of Richard Castle books.] RYAN o.o ... What are those? BECKETT Castle's greatest hits. You're going to familiarize yourselves with all of his murder scenes so we don't miss any. ESPOSITO Got any on tape? (laughs) A point for the espt adhd hc, not as strong as my adhd ryan hc. But hey castle does readings, I'm sure he could record one of those... he's a famous author he surely has audiobooks, tho I always like it when the author narrates their own book.

KR: "From the library of Katherine Beckett." KB: Do you have a problem with reading Ryan? didn't u already use this like JE: Yo, check it, girl. You're totally a fan! KB: Right. Of the genre. Girl u'r a homicide detective u rly want to read more crime after work? KR: Right. The-the genre. That's why you're blushing. KB: What are you, twelve? & then actually she gets ryan into these books which I think was a great touch even tho it is never explicitly spoken about. Ryan looks somewhat normal today, not like a weird college student. It def seems like ryan is not just the new guy on the show but espt also looks closer to beckett & ryan seems like the new guy here, even tho as confirmed somewhere in s2 they had already been partners for three years or smth.

Rly weird to see the two precinct sets. Are they canonically considered the same location & we are supposed to suspend our disbelief?

Nope : )

Castle sherlock holmsing here & then gets too close to home. & beckett's face just falling ever so slowly, I love it. That was good.

Maybe the guy was just a fanartist.

Man the livejournal transcript has some info but sadly the captions have more & I just can't hear it that well. Castle is chatting with espt at his desk & I can't tell who is saying what, esp when that fellow walks across the screen, covering their lips. I think it went smth like this: (conversation happening before the scene switches) (RC probably asks smth like: so have you ever shot anybody?) (JE: ...) Shot anybody? RC: Did you ever shoot anyone? JE: Yeah KB: *interrupts with stuff abt the case* Like bro idk how that convo actually went but typically u don't ask someone if they ever shot anyone. idk if it was cop talk or if castle just learned this man is ex-military or what. I also just enjoy learning abt the characters & I wouldn't mind having seen more convo.

Big cheese...? Also ew there are like.. protocols. JE: Man’s got the Mayor on speed dial. The rich really are different. KB: You want him? He’s yours. (that's gay) JE: A control freak like you with something you can’t control? No, no. That’s going to be more fun than Shark Week. These two with their banter. Love it.

Bro you DO come to a complete stop & do proper taxes. you might do a rolling stop at a stop sign or pay for parsley instead of cilantro.

Lanie is a fan <3 *extending hand* Lanie Parish. Medical Examiner. I love your books. Y’know, you have a real gift with the details of death.

Then u don't know me very well.

Why is she wearing a vest but not rysposito?

NY, LA, NY, LA, I def recommend watching the commentary version. Man got a shrine.

Ew ableism. You are really frightening the fellow there. My brother had to (verbally) kick a nurse's ass when she kept touching a patient without consent. He's a "lowly porter" tho so yk how things go. Nurse was too obsessed with doing what SHE thought was right (soothingly touching the patient) instead of respecting the patient's boundaries & explaining what was going on.

KB: This isn’t one of your books, Castle. Out here, we find a guy standing over a body with a gun, he’s usually the guy who did it. Not foreshadowing...

Love the writer poker. Presents it like he's writing a story.

She just runs after him all angry. He becomes sweet. He WAS sweet. Even though he used the opportunity. The music <3

I like how apples is a reoccuring word.

Martha <3 "I've had LOTS of father figures" lmao

Still, espt is the one talking with beckett.

I love how rick & alexis are chatting & then Martha is just there. MR: That makes about as much sense as Mouse Trap. I did that play eight times a week for a year. I still have no idea what it's about.

I love how the show still managed to have beckett & castle finishing each other's sentences even tho they r not even in the same room.

AC: by a lot MR: Mine too

I love seeing the scenes that they used in the intro for s1. I don't think s4 has an intro tho & I kind of miss it.

RC: This is not what it looks like. This-- I-- Okay, this is exactly what it looks like. But I can explain.

I suddenly remember how this ends. Oof poor guy, children was such a habit & now he has to say child.

Want a hot dog? I want a hot dog. (Beckett grabs his nose) Ow apples apples apples! He couldn't have lost weight to look sick thin becks. Maybe he WAS workout thin & then he's all depressed bc his daughter was just murdered & now he LOOKS sick thin, but that's a stretch.

Good on her for this lie/train of thought. Does he KNOW when all three were murdered? I mean they were probs in the paper, that's how he "found out" her case kid "killed" her.

Why did he specifically fly out on those days? I think being out of town /specifically/ those days is sus.

RC: Oh Markway! Tell him I say hello.

I love the way that castle talks versus beckett. Lol writing on castle's back

Boy just puts it in the shredder like that?

Yay the non-ryan cop & the scaffolding, now it looks like a city. Beckett talking to him like a toddler. She just cuffed him XD. You know, I'm glad I have a cuff key. You're actually more likely to be accidentally cuffed in some sort of sex cult than accidentally cuffed by a cop. I also have an elevator key which is useful. Too bad I actually lost my keyring. Rick is so cool & sexy & valid. Why would he take off his shoe tho? The audio commentary: "I have never seen toes that small on a man over six foot." The poor filming, they had to clean up the paper every time. & make sure they were no rocks or needles for poor NF (RC).

tbh I understand this guy. Sibling is the pretty one, the loved one, the smart one. That WAS cool castle! Even the weird little sound effect.

I forgot that castle know guns, at least a bit. Probs research for his prev books. I'm remembering that episode, probably 5-8 somewhere, when beckett taught him to shoot a gun but he already knew & then won a bet. Ye. He knew the safety was on too.

Hoowee she is so self confident & hot.

nice skull lamp

tough BUT savvy?

Little eyebrow cock at the end. The start of everything!

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Bakugous favorite relaxing activity I’d literally reading a book with you in the bathtub.

Some couples watch shows together, some go on dates on the same day and same time very week. Others video chat or make dinner together over phone calls if they can’t be together physically

Bakugous and your thing? Reading

Bakugou literally met you when he saw you standing with one of your feet off of a step stool at the library bc the book you wanted was way too high to reach. He then started making fun of you bc the book was “a shitty read”

He was right but you don’t let him gloat over that

Bakugou and you would start certain books together and would not read without each other. Some days you’d be sitting in front of him on the couch or curled into his side in bed

and others you’d be sat between his legs against his back in a nice warm bath after a couple shower- those were his favorite nights

Most nights you’d just bask in silence or soft music while you both read at your own pace, waiting for each other to be ready to turn the page

Bakugou always finishes before you then teases you bc he can read faster

But sometimes he just wants you to read to him

Those days he’ll hold the book open and let you settle comfortably against him and always make sure to have a water bottle by the small side table so your throat doesn’t get sore from talking

He fuckin loves your attempts at voicing different characters and trying to be the best narrator you can be- any old character you try and squawk like make him bust a lung

He really likes hearing you read romance novels but don’t tell him I told you

He’ll fill the bath with bubbles, bath bombs or scented oils- even if he hates now slick it makes him feel- he’ll do it if you like it bc he loves you

Usually makes the bath on the hotter side so the water stays warmer and the reading sessions can last longer; sweating is part of the experience sometimes

But if the story gets really good you’ll read until your shivering then he’s toweling your down and reading more swaddled in blankets with hot drinks bc you just can’t stop when it’s just getting to the good part!!

Before getting into the bath, you both would get fully clean in the shower and discus what book you want to start or talk about what you’ve read so far and what your story predictions are

He also never takes a reading bath without showering bc the bath is for relaxing and getting all pruny- not for dirtying the water with the days muck and sweat

He’ll rest how chin on your shoulder or lean against your head or kiss your cheek when you read to him

Sometimes he just wants you to read him to sleep but he knows he would never live that down if he did

There’s been a couple times while you both read silently you doze off on him

He definitely reads ahead when you do- but he’ll never tell you that