#I hate talking about stuff like this because it’s kind of whiny and nonsensical

[lesbianusahana]

Joey’s Woes of the Day without context

[daegutowns]

svt as your hogwarts boyfriend

tags: hogwarts au, gn!reader

gryffindor: seungcheol, hoshi, chan 

seungcheol: quidditch team beater, quidditch team captain

prepare to be sick of him!! 

very competitive, so match days are always so big for him

if you’re not dripped out in gryffindor colors (regardless of which house you’re in), it’s over. he’ll be so pouty and whiny

“baby, it’s match day. why are you not wearing your custom made quidditch jersey i made for you?”  

“don’t talk to me, you’re wearing [house other than gryffindor] colors. nope, obviously you don’t wish me good luck.” 

big bad quidditch team captain has nothing on his lover 

says he plays better when you’re cheering for him 

claims he’s mcgonagall’s best student

he’s actually very good at transfigurations

he wants to be an auror one day, so this is just a step in the process

mcgonagall actually does adore him

very protective of his quidditch team members and would gladly start a fight to defend any one of them (hot-headed but won’t admit it) 

always says he’ll buy you anything, no matter how many galleons he has to spend

actually gets upset if you try to pay for your own chocolate frog on the train

the type to always want to sit next to you if you share a class together (except potions)

hoshi: quidditch team chaser 

he is mr. horanghae…. mr. quidditch is in my blood…. mr. tiger chaser 

his plans are to become a professional quidditch team player

the british national quidditch team coach has already scouted him out

genuinely a quidditch prodigy, since he’s a muggleborn wizard. just picked up a quaffle and was an instant baller 

mcgonagall’s pride and joy…. she lives and breathes quidditch 

he has nothing else going on for him academically, really -- just trying to pass and that’s it lol 

snape hates his guts. didn’t even have to do much, really 

only asks for quidditch stuff for his birthday

he loves when you shout out nonsense stuff like “get ‘em tiger!” or “horanghae!” or “tiger’s gaze!” during the quidditch match. it’s soooo embarrassing for you but it actually gets him fired up 

the type to fall asleep in class and then ask you for notes afterwards 

chan: 

he wants to be on the quidditch team starting line so bad, but he’s been benched… then injured… then benched again… 

but he’s, like, lowkey highkey very good at defense against the dark arts??? 

like, conjured a patronus at the age of 12 kind of good

comes from a family of aurors (his dad’s side), so this kind of just runs in his blood 

he offers to tutor you in it because it’s his greatest passion in life 

of course, he’ll need some tutoring in all the other subjects…. snape has lit his ass on fire (metaphorically, for legal purposes) due to many badly made, strange potions he’s made 

hufflepuff: dk, mingyu, seungkwan, vernon 

mingyu: quidditch team beater 

of course this big puppy is a hufflepuff! but, he’s the most gryffindor-like hufflepuff ever

even the sorting hat had trouble placing him in the correct house, but ultimately chose hufflepuff 

he honestly didn’t even know if he should be trying out for the quidditch team, but dk brought him there and he barely even had to struggle at tryouts

his big frame and strong arms make him an excellent beater

he still has a fear of heights, he just forgets about it during quidditch (like what)

he loves when you praise him for his quidditch skills, especially after a particularly hard practice or grueling game 

he just wants to be held in your arms near the fireplace, is that too much to ask for ?!?!?!!?!!

surprisingly very smart at most subjects too, especially potions

the only thing he struggles with is herbology (like wtf would he be doing near all these screaming plants or oozing flowers????) 

kind of based for a hufflepuff to not be good at herbology bc of professor sprout but alas…. 

he loves care of magical creatures, because he’s like a dog -- just friends with everyone 

he’s kind of like the cedric diggory type ngl -- well liked, friendly, athletic, smart 

the type to want to walk around the castle holding hands all the time 

deekay: quidditch team chaser 

the most stereotypical hufflepuff ever 

so kind, so loyal, so hardworking, so….. 

the happy virus, sunshine, rainbows shooting out of his ass kind of guy

seriously, there’s not one hufflepuff that doesn’t love him 

he plans on becoming a charms professor at hogwarts one day! 

he’s soooo good at charms 

so much so that girls around hogwarts giggle and call him a charmer

like he got people blushing n shit 

turned down the offer to become captain because it was a lot of pressure! he is still going to be the next quidditch team captain next year. 

he simply did not have a choice in this matter 

loves going to hogsmeade and sitting in the three broomsticks with his friends laughing because it’s so cozy. he wants to live in that feeling forever 

the type to send you a love letter by owl on valentines day to watch your reaction while you sit with your friends 

seungkwan: hogwarts choir soprano 

he is THE boo seungkwan of the hogwarts choir! 

professor flitwick (the conductor of the choir) is always amazed at his performance ability. seungkwan has never Not had a solo in the hogwarts annual christmas choir performance 

likes to watch quidditch practices while he does his divination essays 

he feels like it gives them a certain vibe while he makes up dreams about his imaginary rabbit dying for trelawney 

if dk was everyone’s crush, seungkwan is everyone’s friend

there’s no table he’s not welcome to sit at, and definitely no house that would turn him away

the most social butterfly in hogwarts, even more so than the weasley twins

his networking capabilities is insane, but necessary for his life path 

he wants to work in the ministry of magic, close to the minister of magic 

this requires lots of connections! he wants to collect those wizard society inductions like pokemon cards 

the type to ask you to come to his birthday party as a special guest but he actually invited half the castle and dumbledore 

vernon: 

he’s just here for the vibes 

very seriously collecting all the chocolate frog cards. if you see one, please check with vernon to see if he has it or not. he’ll give away the ones he doesn’t need and is always willing to trade

please help him. this is his life’s goal right now

is really good at quidditch but doesn’t really vibe with organized sports, so he just comes to tryouts to play with other people

tried to start a recreational interhouse quidditch team to play outside of the house matches but it turned messy so he gave up 

really good at herbology and care of magical creatures! he just understands 

not sure what he wants to do in the future, but he’s honestly down for whatever

the type to ask you if you’re free for a date and then forget, so you both end up just asking the house elves in the kitchen for food 

ravenclaw: jun, wonwoo, woozi

jun: quidditch team chaser  

another person who is just here for the ride

just naturally gifted at a lot of subjects, so he doesn’t really study that much for the exams either. it really makes other people mad

once you asked him for help in a class (“jun, why is this the right answer?”) and he just gave too vague answers (“that’s just the order the things are put in.”) that you just kind of gave up 

will definitely be asleep in class if you let him 

history of magic is spent 90% of the time with his head on the desk sleeping away zzz

sometimes just gets really sleepy, what can he say???

a really good chaser, but just plays quidditch because it’s fun

he goes to practice because games/matches are more fun when you’re actually good at playing 

self-dubbed “arthur wen of quidditch”

what does it mean??? you will have to ask him yourself

the type to sneak you into his bed on friday nights so you can spend all weekend cuddling together

wonwoo: prefect  

what an absolute heartthrob

he’s not really a man of many words, so he was genuinely surprised when he became a prefect for his house 

is actually a very understanding and caring prefect

he doesn’t really like taking points away from other houses or giving out detentions and only uses it as a last resort 

you can usually find him reading novels/writing essays in the library (madam pince is very enamored with him) or playing wizard chess in the ravenclaw common room

he’s VERY good at wizard’s chess

if he could be a professional wizard’s chess player, he would.

ron weasley has nothing on jeon wonwoo

a lot of younger ravenclaws like asking him questions because he always explains things so thoroughly and patiently

tutors younger students in other houses for extra money -- fellow ravenclaws free of charge! -- and sends it to his family 

wants to be a professor at hogwarts but still isn’t sure which subject he wants to teach. he figures he could be a librarian like madam pince if he were allowed to be

the type to gift you a new book on christmas every year and highlight/annotate things that reminded him of you 

woozi: 

also legendary in the hogwarts choir

he arranges all the pieces for both the choir and band

wants to be a professional wizard producer and music writer

once got to meet the weird sisters and got a random muggle t-shirt signed by them that he carries like his most prized possession

other than that, he just like hanging out with you, his friends, and going to the quidditch matches whenever ravenclaw plays 

he’s not really that interested in other house matches unless it’s an important one that affects ravenclaw 

he tries to be interested in your house’s matches too (if you’re not a ravenclaw) but you can tell he would rather not 

tends to befriend a lot of gryffindors (like seungcheol and hoshi) for some reason unknown to even himself 

the type to write poems to you when he gets bored in class 

slytherin: jeonghan, joshua, hao

jeonghan: prefect

oh, don’t even try to mess with him, because he will get you back and worse 

definitely takes advantage of his prefect status way more than he should, but rules are meant to be bent 

sneaks you into the prefect bathroom because “you shouldn’t have to take a bath with the rest of the normies” or so he says. 

likes pranks and practical jokes, so he often turns a blind eye to the weasley twins when they stir up trouble 

they have an unspoken partnership

weasley twins don’t prank him, jeonghan doesn’t snitch on them 

it’s honestly a win-win for both of them. 

he’s really good at charms

this is mostly because it teaches you shortcuts of how to do everyday things but just faster and lazier with magic 

his favorite is using the duplication charm to make copies of polaroids he took with you so both of you can have a copy of it 

he likes messing with the younger students and getting them to loosen up (like what are they always so serious for?) with him + reminding people when to have fun (but also when to buckle up!) 

the type to ask you on a date to three broomsticks and then prank you into thinking he forgot his wallet in his room 

joshua: head boy 

classic head boy vibes from a gentle sexy. jk he is so chaotic, but no one really expects it from him until after he gets all these privileges 

you want a permit to paint a brick pink? just a single brick? okay done.

you want to rearrange the quidditch trophies by most to least impressive accomplishment? okay done. 

you want to take a date walking around the castle while he patrols the hallways? okay done. 

he lives for the things that are ambiguously not breaking the rules but definitely not abiding by them either 

kind of athletic (grew up playing quidditch in his neighborhood around the other wizard children) but never liked it enough to actually play for the team

it’s way too competitive + he wants more time for you. it’s already hard enough with all the head boy stuff 

also was in the hogwarts band but then it was too much work so he only did it for a year 

very gifted in potions and transfigurations! 

he always wants you to teach him the more boring subjects like history of magic since he always finds himself doodling instead of listening or dozing off in that class

his dream is to become a healer at st. mungo’s hospital for magical maladies

likes to tease you that you’re mrs. head boy 

he treats you like you’re the first lady and he’s the president. it’s a very american way of thinking, but then again, he is american. 

if he catches you doing bad stuff, you’re legally required to write him a love letter. it’s the rules. no detention, no points taken away from your house. just a nice love letter. 

the type to let you dress/style him for all your dates because he wants to have matching outfits always

hao: quidditch team seeker

he’s actually one of the most popular people in slytherin house due to his insane skills as seeker

his catch rate is insane, like he can sniff out the snitch on the field

he’s already set to play for the national team in the U20 league and for the montrose magpies (the british-irish quidditch league team with the most wins)

his knack for flying was discovered during their first year flying class with madam hooch. after the class, she spoke with snape and set him up to shadow the quidditch team to be on the starting lineup starting his second year

he pretends like he doesn’t care if you come support his matches or not but is always visibly happy when you do

the times when you can’t because you’ve got a big essay due the next day or you’re sick is when he pretends he doesn’t mind (because you gotta focus on yourself too!) 

his favorite subject is divination (because he really vibes with the tea leaf readings)

but, his best subject is astronomy. he’s the best student as has been the best student in astronomy out of your entire year (all 7 years!) 

the type to ask you if you want to share your scarf while you walk around the castle together 

[sundanceritz]

further elaboration on the tragedy of super dimension fortress macross and lynn minmay

watching macross for the first time and basically knowing what everyone said the themes of the whole franchise were (music and love as an alternative to the violence of war) i was, honestly, baffled - because i wasn't sure how the story i was watching could possibly lead to such an optimistic conclusion

for the majority of its runtime i think the original macross series hits mostly as a tragedy. to the point that the ending isn't really a reversal of this, but just a moment where the show happens to end

a LOT of macross is borrowed from ideon, which famously is a tragedy. so many plot points are copied directly - the militaristic alien race which is actually identical to humans as both spawn from the same ancient technology, the orphaned space colonists whose ship is shockingly barred from returning to earth, the baby whose existence proves the potential for a union between the races (with the same hair color even), the mecha accidentally overloading and instantly wiping out a whole city. they do share a major scriptwriter; the word "IDEON" also appears on a screen at one point

the character arcs, too, felt like tragedies, people pushed in opposite directions by circumstance and resigning to their fates. minmay herself tells hikaru, who is very anti-military, to join the military; hikaru joins the military, sees kakizaki die, and hangs up on minmay when she calls him because he is simply completely unable to relate to her anymore, despite having done everything for her. he went this direction out of love for minmay, but has a dream that suggests that, due to the experiences MINMAY pushed him towards, he is resigned to only be comfortable with a military woman like misa now - to which i can only respond so that's bad, right? so that's bad, right? it's bad that that happened to hikaru, right...?

but when i looked into how fandom talked about this, and how the rest of the franchise went ... it became clear that this was just seen as a "love triangle", and in fact one in which hikaru "ending up with" misa is the "favorable conclusion" to fans (and the writers apparently), instead of a tragedy involving all three characters as protagonists

but, again... the show is written as a tragedy like that. and so we have to talk about lynn minmay... perhaps it's robotech's influence here, but the idea that people see her as "immature" and a flawed character who has to grow up is kind of absolutely bonkers. yes, she's immature, but also, she was made the commodified celebrity idol of an entire isolated community at a young age and also - and this is key - is literally being groomed by her older cousin on-screen without any abstraction or it being played as alright or whatever

it is surreal to me that the reason people hate kaifun is because he is whiny about the military or "is a jerk" or something. what happens on screen is completely unambiguous. he is insidious and realistic in his actions. frankly it's a clear prototype for utena (in the post-timeskip eps he has the autonomy of Having A Car).

and then, also in the post-timeskip eps, he just ... drops minmay and disappears into history (until he does more scuzzy stuff in the liner notes to fire bomber american and then disappears again). she has been totally broken down over the last few years and now has nothing. so she goes to hikaru, the person she was almost close with once

and after a few eps of back and forth love triangle nonsense hikaru and misa are like well we're together now and you have to go build a life entirely on your own starting from zero. and she's like oh ok! and leaves. does she even have a house at this point?? i dont think so??? and then the show ends????

its such a random place to end for me. the show could've ended a few eps earlier or gone on for another few. hikaru "choosing" misa is not a meaningful statement at that point because he's gone back and forth between misa and minmay for many episodes at this point. also hikaru and misa could break up later anyway, it doesnt really feel like an ending to me

it felt like minmay had the roughest life ever and the narrative wasn't sure how to frame that by the end, despite being actually VERY critical of the idol industry up to that point (this is NOT a pro-idol show tbh)

i think if hideaki anno did Shin Macross he would make a version of this story that is actually about her

perhaps this sounds critical of the show. not really, i think most of it was perfect - when they try and do a space war fight but both sides are taking action to defuse the very concept of a gundam space war scene and the generals have no choice but to go okay i guess we're just not doing this anymore!, that was completely genius. and then time skipping shortly after that to show all the political and interpersonal issues resulting from the decisions that could've been an ending, we're back into the feelings of tragedy...

it's just, from the beginning i thought, how could this end up as Macross, the franchise i've heard of? and it basically didn't! it just ends. not on an ending that emphasizes the tragedy that is the whole narrative, but not on a happy ending either. and i think its because shoji kawamori is more of a "normal person" compared to tomino et al

[waka-chan-out]

Okay so I heard you were looking for requests for short stuff so do you have any headcanons for getting just. Absolutely railed by Haikyuu team captains, please and thank you. (I really love your stuff and I hope you take this!)

Rough Captain Headcanons

sub captains edition here.

you heard correctly!! (though this did not end up being very short lmaoo) i am a whore for the haikyuu captains so you’ve come to the right place. and thank you so much! i’ll take any opportunity to talk about my boys.

i included literally every single captain i could think of, including the karasuno captains after daichi and our timeskip kings. have fun.

post-timeskip, obviously.

content warnings: mostly gn! reader (but occasional fem!), lots of pet names, lots of teasing and degradation, hair pulling, spanking, three (3) creampies god i hate that word, hickies, handcuffs, etc. all of these are established relationship.

so i don’t know how to describe what exactly these headcanons are? i don’t think all of the captains are the “railing” type. however, these are basically just headcanons for when they go their hardest and either accidentally or purposefully get carried away.

Sawamura Daichi

likes to cage you under him and just lose it. will loop an arm around your waist and lift you up into him, so your back arches and he can hit the perfect angle.

will. not. let you look away. grabs your chin. pulls your hair. will move you however he needs to so he can look you in the eyes while he’s pounding into you.

“Shy now, princess?” Daichi said, tipping your chin to look at him. “Don’t hide. You look so pretty like this.” A sharp breath left your lips as he pressed his hips farther forward, grinding into you and sending a shock of pleasure through your body. “That’s it, sweetheart. Taking it so well. Let me give you what you deserve.”

Ennoshita Chikara

he’s a hair puller. like he doesn’t think much about it but he really likes pulling you by your hair back against his chest so he can whisper dirty shit in your ear. sometimes he gets a little too aggressive with it, so if you’re into that kind of thing, he’s your man.

possessive as all hell. you’re going out for drinks with coworkers? he’s leaving a hickie right at the collar of your top so everyone can see that you’re taken. coming out to dinner with his old teammates? he’s going to have an arm on you all night. loves to pull you in and remind you of things you did the night before to get you flustered.

very particular about how you’re positioned. will pin your arms above your head and readjust his grip several times. pushes your legs out of the way. grabs your jaw and moves your face where he wants you. somehow he doesn’t realize how hot that is until you tell him to his face. he’s still confused about it but has learned to love that you love it.

Chikara ran a hand up your side and let it rest in your hair for a moment before tugging hard. You gasped as he pulled it back and to the side, exposing your neck so he could leave marks as he pushed deeper inside you. You let out a whimper and tried to loop an arm around his neck but he grabbed your wrist and pinned it down.

“Patience, love. I want everyone to be able to tell I fucked you senseless.”

Yamaguchi Tadashi

he tries to dirty talk, but it always turns into praise and repeating how much he loves you.

aggressive and whiny, begging for more even though he’s the one giving it to you.

prefers when you ride him, but will do anything you ask of him. loves being told what to do. thinks you directing him to go faster or slower or a little to the left is the sexiest thing on the planet. he will fuck the life out of you if you just ask nicely.

“Harder, Tadashi,” you gasped. He grunted and snapped his hips as fast and as hard as it seems his body would let him.

“God, you’re gonna make me come. How do you feel so fucking good?” You smiled at the praise and pulled him in for a kiss. His breath hissed against your face as he continued pushing into you. You wrapped your legs tight around him and he let out a whine, pressing his face against yours. “I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.”

Oikawa Tooru

he’s a biter

likes to be lazy and dirty talks while you ride him usually, but every so often he shifts and will fuck you until tears are running out of your eyes.

will lay on top of you while you’re on your stomach, an arm looped around your neck, and just fuck you into the bedsheets. he’s wrapped up in his own little world, choking on high pitched moans and gasping for breath. like i said, he’s a biter, so you end up with marks all over your neck and shoulders. he’s just a fucking baby. the sounds he makes are so whiny and breathy it sounds like he’s the one getting destroyed instead of you.

“Ngh, fuck,” Tooru gasped. His breath was hot in your ear as you panted into the mattress. “Feel so good around me. You’re just begging for my cum, aren’t you?” You wanted to laugh and tell him you weren’t the one begging, but you couldn’t. Your breath was being torn from your lungs with every thrust. Tooru sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he pounded into you harder, letting out a soft whimper against your skin. His voice raised in pitch until he was practically whining. “Hah—gonna come soon. You feel so good.” His voice trailed off as it reached a whimper and he buried his face back against your neck, body shaking in anticipation.

Kuroo Tetsuro

spanking spanking spanking

seriously, hits it from the back and is not nice about it.

kuroo likes pulling you closer by your hips or ankles, turning you over whenever he feels like it, whatever. he just likes being able to toss you around and position you so he hits you just right every time.

“What? Trying to get away? That’s not how you take it, is it?” Kuroo grabbed your hips and yanked you flush against him. You cried out and buried your face against the bed. “There we go.” He laid a slap on your ass and laughed at the small sound you let out. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not going anywhere.”

Bokuto Koutarou

he fucks himself dumb. accidentally goes so hard he’s whining and can barely hear you if you ask him to speed up or slow down.

likes missionary because he likes being as close to you as humanly possible and it gives him the best leverage to just.....lose it. gasping against your face and babbling about how good you feel. going off of that, he has a very hard time pulling out. lord have mercy. use a condom or get on a reliable birth control because as much as he tries, he’s never going to have any self-control in the moment.

he forgets just how strong he is sometimes, which results in bruises and weak limbs and occasionally trouble walking. he always apologizes profusely and offers many kisses to make up for it even after you insist that you’re fine.

“Baby, please let me come inside you. Please. Oh my god,” Koutarou whined, tightening his grip on your thigh and snapping his hips harder.

“Yes, Kou. Please.” You brought him down into a kiss. You were both panting and Koutarou was moaning, practically vibrating against you as he got closer. He began moving erratically, pounding harder into you and making you cry out.

“M’sorry. Fuck. I’m gonna come.” His chest heaved as he thrust into you hard once, twice, and let out a long groan. You could feel him twitching inside you, hands clutching your skin so hard it was almost painful. He mumbled praise and curses and nonsense against your lips, slowing his movement until he collapsed on top of you. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead and tucked his face into your neck. “Thank you. I love you. Oh my god.”

Futakuchi Kenji

likes holding your legs and moving them around to see what gets the biggest reaction from you. doesn’t care what position you’re in but loves when your legs are closed and lifted so you’re extra tight around him.

his goal is to see you as desperate as possible. he’ll do whatever it takes to get your eyes rolling back, your hands clutching at anything they can grab, mindless pleading, all of it. he just wants to watch you fall apart because of him, and i gotta say, he’s good at getting his way.

“Oh, that’s it. Look at you,” Kenji cooed. He gently wiped a tear from your face as he readjusted your legs with his other hand, holding them tightly to his chest. “Coming apart already. I’m just getting started. Are you going to be good for me?”

Daishou Suguru

finger sucking finger sucking finger sucking. loves watching you gag so he’ll shove two fingers deep into your mouth and strokes them over your tongue. he also just does it to shut you up whenever he feels like it.

likes edging and teasing a little too much. will hold off from fucking you until you’re genuinely angry at him, so wet that he can push in with no resistance. then he makes it up to you by fucking you until you’re sobbing or your eyes are rolling back in your head. you’ve never had an orgasm with him that didn’t feel like you might not live to see the end of it.

“You like that, don’t you?” Suguru said, thumbing over your bottom lip as his cock slid between your legs, not pushing in like you desperately wanted him to. “Like when I use you like this? Should I just come like this? I don’t even have to fuck you to get myself off.” You let out a pathetic noise in protest and he laughed. “Maybe another time. Today I’ll be nice and give you my cock.” He dragged between your legs again and stopped at your entrance, slowly sinking in and pulling a relieved sigh from your throat. “There we go. That’s my fuckin’ girl.” He slid two long fingers between your lips, pressing on the back of your tongue and nearly making you gag. “Now stay quiet while I use you.”

Terushima Yuuji

i.......i gotta mention the tongue piercing. i’m sorry. i know he gives the most enthusiastic, sloppiest head and FOR SURE owns a vibrating tongue ring. what a whore. i love him.

i feel like he’s messy. like he’s into spitting and really sloppy kissing and cum play and everything. will come in your mouth and tell you to hold it there while he fucks you stupid. sometimes kisses it out of your mouth. he’s a freak and i like it.

“Yuuji, fuck.” You could practically hear your body vibrating, past orgasms still lingering under your skin.

“Yeah? Tell me where you want me to come,” he said. You groaned as he abused the perfect angle inside of you and smirked down at your strained expression. “Not gonna talk to me?” You stayed silent as your head tipped back against your pillow. He chuckled and grabbed your face. “Open.” You blinked up at him and did as you were told, sticking out your tongue. He leaned forward and spat into your mouth. “I’m gonna come inside of you. Yeah? That what you want?” You nodded and swallowed, eyes pinched shut and voice frozen in your throat. He laughed and snapped his hips harder. “That’s right. Anything for you, princess.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi

so we’ve all agreed: horse cock ushijima, however, he usually uses those powers for good. very gentle, very eager to please, exactly what you’d want in a man.

he’s not a hard dom, but sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with how much he loves you that he forgets how strong he is. pounding into you with his whole heart and whispering in your ear how much he adores you between groans. very vocal. a little too rough. definitely feels very guilty when you’re sore the next day but if you kiss him and tell him you liked it....he may be willing to throw caution to the wind again sometime.

Wakatoshi didn’t speak much, but the room was far from silent. He made the prettiest sounds when he was lost in you, grunts turning to long moans, made even sweeter when they were hummed against your lips. The groan of the bed mixed with the strike of skin against skin, white noise behind your already muddled thoughts. Wakatoshi pushed your legs farther toward your chest and leaned down, laying his face right against your ear.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice seemed to rumble through your entire body. “You’re so good to me, darling. I love you.”

Kita Shinsuke

very soft. y’all are never gonna catch me writing hard dom kita shinsuke. HOWEVER. he is so eager that sometimes it’s a little too much for either of you. like he doesn’t realize how aggressive he’s been until you’re both literally unable to catch your breath and have to just lay in silence for a while. will ask you very nicely if you’re okay and get you water and anything else you need, but he will have this little grin on his face the whole time because he’s so happy to be able to put you both in that state.

Kita’s face scrunched up into a tight wince as he came, as his hips slowing into hard, deep thrusts that made your vision go white. Your grip in his hair was so tight you were sure it hurt, but you couldn’t help it when he was scrambling your brain with every touch. He stopped moving and you realized just how hard both of you were breathing. It felt like you couldn’t fill your lungs, body so spent that it couldn’t even do what it needed to do to survive. His braced arms on either side of your head were shaking, and his eyes were still shut tight.

“Shin,” you said, as steadily as you could through your gasping breaths. He didn’t answer. “Shin, baby, you okay?”

He exhaled hard and smiled, then let himself fall on top of you.

“Perfect. I’m—you’re perfect. I love you.” You laughed and combed your fingers through his hair, then pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too.”

Meian Shūgo

what to say about this man......

i feel like my opinions about what he likes and doesn’t like are kind of hot takes, because most of the stuff i see with him is hard dom. but. i raise you: overly excited switch meian shūgo.

captain meian shūgo likes to be teased and edged within an inch of his sanity. he likes when you talk shit and order him around and he’s DEFINITELY into handcuffs. however, he always pays you back for it. even if he’s still cuffed up and a little pink in the face from embarrassment, he will absolutely use you. very loud. loves when you leave scratch marks. loves leaving hickies everywhere.

You were almost shocked by the high moan that left Shūgo’s throat as he finally sunk into you. His face screwed up in pleasure and concentration as he withdrew his hips and drove them back against you.

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this. You tease me all that time but you can’t wait for me to fuck you like this, can you?”

“That’s some tough talk for someone whose wrists are still bound,” you said through a smile. He let out a breathy laugh and braced his hands on your stomach, still connected by leather and a short chain.

“Doesn’t keep me away from you.” He raised an eyebrow and pushed deeper inside you. “I can still use your body when I’m all tied up.”

Hirugami Fukurō

pulling a headcanon from his brother’s list and saying he likes getting his hair pulled, which means he loooooves going down on you.

will leave your legs feeling like jelly because he makes you come at least three times, and each one is hard. like, you forget where you are and can’t breathe for a few minutes afterward.

will cock warm you until you’re begging him to please, please move. proceeds to fuck you slowly, but so hard and so deep you’re feeling him between your legs the entire next day.

“Done already? That’s no fun,” Fukuro teased. You were still shaking from the last time he had pushed you over and he wasn’t helping the situation, thumb still circling your clit after already abusing it with his tongue.

“Come on. You know how to take me.” He continued easing his cock into you, dragging out all of the breath remaining in your body.

“Please,” you whispered. He smiled and leaned closer.

“Please what, love? Do you want me to stop? Use your words.”

“No.”

“Then tell me what you want.”

“Want you to—“ You gasped. “—fuck me. Please.” Fukuro grinned and positioned himself so he had more leverage over you.

“Good girl.”

[mcheang]

Adrien’s Enemy: A new boy arrives at school who starts bullying Adrien. He insults him, pushes him around, tries to frame him as a bad guy. He even tries to come between Marinette and Adrien so he can date her, much like Lila & Chloé do. Adrien learns a lesson about what’s its like to be bullied and the importance of standing up to bullies outside his mask

Tommy Ange

This is a draft as I am still not sure about this story, but I like the idea of Adrien taking charge of his future

Meet the new classmate. The son of an actor and model. As such, yes, he is beautiful and rich and well-connected.

On first impressions, Tommy is charming and modest. He doesn’t boast. People know of his connections because Mylene was a fan of his father’s work and had noted his son at the airport.

Anyway, Tommy is currently staying with his mother while his dad travels for a movie shoot.

Because of his shyness, he doesn’t warm up to the likes of Lila or Chloé, who definitely won’t stop talking his ear off or learn the meaning of personal space.

Instead he gravitates towards warm and sweet Marinette. While Marinette is a fan of fashion, she never asks him stuff about his mother’s work. To be fair she never asks Adrien either.

But when alone with Adrien, Tommy is cold and brusque. He isn’t interested in being friends with a “doormat” and “sycophant” (this insult belongs to Lila actually). Tommy can’t stand 2-faced people. To him, there is no gray area. No middle ground. And Adrien’s desire to maintain peace with all his friends, despite the obvious tension with Chloé, was annoying. At least Chloé was honest about who she hated. But for the likes of Adrien and Lila, where they stood was not clear to Tommy.

You see, Tommy dislikes overt friendliness. Used to people wanting to use him to meet his parents. Too much kindness seems fake to him.

Adrien is sad Tommy dislikes him. He tries to appease the new student. Even if that means accepting Tommy’s reminders that he can’t hang out, he has a shoot; and yes, he hasn’t hung out with Chloé in a while, he should visit her; and sure, Adrien will gladly swap partners with Tommy.

Ok, part of the reason Tommy dislikes Adrien is because he knows Marinette likes Adrien. But the blind boy doesn’t see that and instead asks for Mari to just ignore Chloé’s insults and Lila’s lies. To take the higher road. What nonsense is that?

Tommy hopes that in pushing Adrien towards the 2 girls she can’t stand, all the while sympathising beside her will get Marinette to like him.

Honestly, he would have succeeded if Adrien didn’t have Plagg.

Plagg: why are you letting that devil push you around? Now you’re stuck with that Liar for a stupid project.

Adrien: but he’s nicer to me now.

Plagg: you’re just proving him right that you are a doormat. You want everybody to like you when that is an impossible task.

Adrien: no it is not!

Plagg: when was the last time you hung out with your friends...outside class?

Adrien: ....

Plagg: he’s isolating you from your friends. And you’re letting it happen. They’re already wondering how you can tolerate Chloé after seeing her insult them. Old childhood reasoning can only go so far. You need to stand up to the devil and tell your friends what he’s been trying to do.

Adrien: but he isn’t hurting me.

Plagg: you’re stuck with a girl who constantly harasses you for the semester! And for crying out loud, report on her behavior too before I bite her and give her a curse.

Adrien: Plagg, you know what will happen if my dad hears about this. He’s working with Lila and Mrs Ange now. I can’t cause trouble or I’ll get pulled out of school.

Plagg: what’s so good about school now? You’re only ever around whiny bee and the liar. And soon enough, they’ll be your only friends if Devil boy gets his way.

That was an unpleasant thought but Adrien stubbornly stood by his belief.

Plagg sighed. “Ok, let’s try a different scenario. Say Ladybug decided to give Tommy a Miraculous and he starts trying to shove you out of the picture, what are you going to do?”

Adrien: please, I’m Ladybug’s partner, she would never abandon me.

Plagg: so you would let him flirt with your Lady?

Pause. Cats are very territorial!

Adrien bared his teeth. “Not a chance!”

Plagg: why can’t you be this assertive outside the mask?

Adrien: i have a controlling parent!

Plagg: then stand up to him. Are you going to let your father dictate you for the rest of your life? Cos at this rate, you’ll still be living under the same roof when you’ve graduated and have a job, probably as a model.

Adrien paused. He doesn’t hate modelling but he doesn’t want that to be life career! Plagg was right. He needed to grow up, run his own life.

Adrien: you’re right Plagg!

Plagg: of course I am. Do I get extra Camembert as a reward?

Adrien: no. But I’ll give you a show.

Adrien actually went to Nathalie to inform her he will be quitting modelling once he graduated Dupont. He will finish then based on his contract but will not sign another one. Second, he’s taking a break from modelling for a while. If his father complains, he quits piano and will complain to his fans. Wayhem is already psyched for a public outcry.

Next, Adrien visits Nino, Alya and Marinette to tell them the truth about Tommy. And this is where he apologizes to Marinette for his stupid advice. (Adrien did ask Plagg why he never protested this advice but Plagg lazily responded she wasn’t his kitten <but Tikki’s bug>)

Alya is shocked and wants to confront Tommy. She plans to expose him and Lila in front of the whole class. Adrien puts his foot down at that. It would be mean.

Alya sighs. “Fine. It will be a quiet exposure. I’ll text the class the truth about Lila and-“

Marinette interrupted, “I want to hear what Tommy has to say.”

Marinette visited Tommy and asked him for his side of things. Tommy truthfully admitted he disliked Adrien for being the go-between. To him it was a sign of not really having the back of his friends. And Tommy just hates superficial friends.

Marinette: i understand. But you were still wrong to try to separate Adrien from us.

Tommy shrugged. Every time he saw Adrien, he was disgusted by that ridiculous optimism that everyone would get along if they played nice.

Marinette: don’t judge a book by its cover. Adrien has had difficulty standing up to his father. He likes to give people second chances.

Tommy: a lot of them.

Marinette: the point is, what you’re doing is wrong. And you can either settle your differences with Adrien, or we’re not friends anymore. Because in your opinion, I have to pick a side.

Tommy reluctantly chooses his friends. After that, while he ignores Adrien, he doesn’t try to shove him away anymore.

Plagg congratulated his chosen for taking this step. “Now let’s inform the class that Lila needs a lesson on personal space.”

[itseivwhore]

I have to say this,I can't just hold it back anymore.

I'm not the kind of person who talks about this kind of stuff on here,on my blog.By saying and writing all of this I do not want attention or anything,and most of all I just do not want to sound like a whiny child who is complaining for something which is nonsense...but I just can't keep that for myself anymore,for it's influencing the way I am and how I use my own blog.

I am not even that kind of person who hate a bunch of things,but if there's something I just deeply hate and that I just absolutely can't stand is people coping me. People,even friends most of the time,just start to copy me and they never stop...and when I say 'copying' I mean that they literally copy everything I do and everything original I say,let it be a word or a phrase.

You know when you are used to say that word,or that specific phrase that you always have said,and it feels like that word and that phrase it's kind of yours,but then people start to use it as well and it just...doesn't feel original anymore?It just doesn't feel yours anymore because people now use it too?

It always has happened to me and it's still happening and it still upset me very much.

And why I am saying this there?On my blog?Because it didn't and it doesn't just happen in real life,but it's happening on here too. Call me an obsessed and a weirdo but ah,you just could see that they just copy me. And I am not talking about the things I say??But also the tags and the bio and everything else. Jesus Christ,when I used to have that fan account on Instagram not long ago,I EVEN have seen people posting MY own edits on their pages without giving me credits and most of the times just copying the edits I did.

It just frustates me a lot,so and so much and I just can't stand that.

Maybe you have noticed that I didn't reblog anything in those past days,mh?And why?Because of that reason:because the fact that people copy me,my content,the things I say and the stuff I put in the tags too,is influencing me and my blog and how I organize it as well,and I really ended up to not reblog anything or interacting with posts anymore lately.

I hate that and I hate even more the fact that it's literally controlling me since I just can't bring myself to reblog and/or post my usual content and being original in my own fucking way in the tags or in the things I say. It's really putting me down.

[elk-ambrose-scott-writing]

Top Five “Overrated” Classic books

*Disclaimer: I’m an opinionated bitch, but these are value judgements on the books (and the racist ass authors), not the people who like them* 

Genre: Garbage Gothic Tragedy

Author: Emily Bronte

Year Published: 1847

Plot in 20 Words or Less: A rich family adopts an orphan, love drama ensues, and nobody has a good time

Problematic-o-matic: Slurs against Romani people/travelers, romanticizing of abusive & toxic relationships 

Why (I think) it’s Over-rated: 

This book pushed some buttons for me. I’m a survivor of domestic violence, and Heathcliffe’s behaviour was so shitty and abusive that if I wasn’t reading it for school I would have set the whole book on fire.

Cathy was also toxic too, but Heathcliffe took it all the way to eleven. 

I wished the teachers would have trigger-warned us, and I kind of hate the prick for not doing that, don’t think I don’t see you Mr. A, you dickhead 

Beyond that, I didn’t like a single character in this book. Nobody. Not a one. Half of the characters were barely developed, and the ones that were developed were so unlikable that I hated them as much as they seemed to hate each other. 

I also thought the pacing wasn’t great, though that might be due to the differences in novels then and now.

Still, I thought this book was over-rated because all the characters sucked ass and I hated reading the book because of it.

Genre: Nonsense Science fiction, dystopia

Author: George Orwell

Year Published: 1949

Plot in 20 Words or Less: Big brother is watching you, and he’ll torture you if you hurt his feelings

Problematic-o-matic: Orwell was a grumpy old man who hated LGBTQ people, women, vegetarians (why), people who wear sandals (?) and communists. Didn’t appear to be racist though, so that’s...good. 

Why it’s Over-rated: 

This book had a lot of hype.  And I read it, and I hated it. 

I thought the pacing was terrible, and that there was a whole lot of talking, then a cringey, over the top saccharine romance (bleck) and then torture. 

That is terrible pacing. The whole story just grinds to a halt so Winston and Julia could fall in instalove. Ugh. Even now, instalove is a trope that’ll make me DNF unless it’s done expertly. This was not done expertly. 

My husband has argued with me that the point of the romance was to point out how the totalitarian state doesn’t allow love to exist and turns people against each other, but the fact remains that it was boring and dumb. 

Also, the ending is anti-climactic and a big let down. There, I said it.

Genre: Tripe Science Fiction

Author: Aldous Huxley

Year Published: 1932

Plot in 20 Words or Less: In a drugged up caste based society, a vacation goes horribly wrong

Problematic-o-matic: This book is ableist and racist. Like, so fucking racist, holy shit. Also, Aldous Huxley was racist, and may have been a plagiarist. (more in the link below)

Why it’s Over-rated:

This is one that made me hella uncomfortable. 

I’ll be honest, folkx, the racism in this book took me right out of the story. You see all these people defending it, but white people need to be quiet in this instance and listen to what the people being hurt by this work are saying.

And the idea of free love, but only if it’s hetero, rubbed me the wrong way too. Free love means free for everyone, baby. 

The writing itself is fine, but for one thing; characterization.

I found the characters really hard to like; even John, who was probably the most likeable character, was a total asshole by the end. Lenina was just...there. You could have replaced her with a lamp and it wouldn’t have changed much. Bernard was so, so annoying. Helmholtz was probably the only character I didn’t want to see kicked in the balls by a donkey, and he was barely in the book. 

So TL;DR: this book is so goddamn racist, and everyone sucks.

Genre: A goddamn mess Adventure/Mythology

Author: Homer (the boring one, not the yellow one)

Year Published: 8th Century BC, translated into English in 1488 (and the world was worse for it)

Plot in 20 Words or Less: Supposed smart guy gets lost for ten years, doesn’t listen to directions, and gets all his friends killed

Problematic-o-matic: Racist against cyclopes, I guess? The Ancient Greeks general distaste towards women?

Why it’s Over-rated: 

This one is petty, but Odysseus SUCKS and the book is BORING.

Sure, he’s smart and stuff, but apparently not smart enough to find his way back to his house and keep his men alive. 

My dog found it’s way back to our house when I was a kid, and that dog wasn’t very smart. Odysseus can’t do what a dog can do, and that’s really sad. 

Also, while his wife is waiting for him, staying celibate, despite all the suitors coming after her, Odysseus goes off and bones Circe and stays with her on her island. 

Which is funny, because my ex was like “oh, he was looking out for his bros and keeping this crazy woman happy” and then he cheated on me, because he thinks irony is something you use to press your clothes. 

After that point I wanted the book to end with Odysseus being eaten by a pack of wild boars and then shit out on the front lawn of his stupid castle in Ithaca. I bet his castle was ugly too. 

This book would have been better if Homer Simpson wrote it.

Genre: Dumpster fire Coming of age fiction

Author: J. D. Salinger

Year Published: 1951

Plot in 20 Words or Less: Teenage boy whines for way too many pages and almost gets shot by a pimp

Problematic-o-matic: J. D. Salinger was an abusive dick, and this book got banned at one point. And serial killers like it. So that’s...cool. 

Why it’s Over-rated: 

Holden Caufield is a whiny douche.

This book is so goddamn boring and the best part about it is that it’s short. 

The only controversy is that Holden Caufield is an asshole, and acts like a self-centered prick and talks about sex and stuff, which by today’s standards is really, really tame. 

He’s pretty realistic to a lot of teenagers; he thinks he’s the smartest, the best, that he sees through all the bullshit and he knows the right way for everything. 

But I also read this book as a teenager, and like Holden, I also had depression. I thought his portrayal was insulting on both fronts. He was incapable of seeing beyond his own world-view, and he acted like a jerk to people, even when they were nice to him. Not all people with depression are nice, but this wasn’t just not being nice, this was going out of his way to be negative to everyone around him.

I just wanted to grab the kid, smack him, and tell him to stop moping around and go spend more time with his sister.

Read the Full Post Here and Argue with Me about Books: https://elkascott.wordpress.com/2021/02/19/el-listicle-my-top-5-overrated-classic-novels/

[mypoisonedvine]

Hiya! Could you maybe write a sad/angsty Jaskier imagine where the reader is dying from an illness or something, but when she dies she kinds of a transformation (like yen) where not only does she come back to life, but she’s even more beautiful. After years she eventually finds Jaskier and Geralt again and they reunite ect ect. Could you please make it really emotional? I’m in the mood to cry 😩

Hoo boy, I really ran with this one, because I actually had a vaguely similar idea before I got this ask and I ended up sorta frankensteining the two together into something hopefully enjoyable!  Sorry it took so long, but with a word count of 6k it’s not too shocking that it took me a few days!  Hope you’re still in the mood to cry!  I took a few liberties with the original prompt although I actually had a second idea that followed it more closely in some ways and less so in others.  Maybe I’ll write that one up someday as well but I don’t want to be known for killing readers lol so I’ll need to get some normal stuff out there in between.

Quick disclaimer, I sort of made canon squishy in this one… it’s supposed to be set after Jaskier breaks up with Geralt after the dragon hunt.  Theoretically, he heads straight back home and that instigates this whole plot.  The thing is that he and the reader would be 40 for that to really make sense.  So, I kind of left it vague…. depending on your age, feel free to imagine that less than 22 years have passed lol.  So, just a heads up on that.

WARNING: major character death, in fact it’s the reader and it is depicted graphically.  I would not recommend this story to someone struggling with suicidal thoughts because it does straight up describe you dying, all in second person.  If you think you would find that really disturbing and/or really enticing, please don’t read this!  The good news is, as is made clear in the original request, there’s a happy ending!

Never Really Over (a Jaskier x Reader oneshot)

Rating: T (violence but only implied smut)Word Count: 6kTaglist: never had one of these for an ask before but lol @100percentamess you asked to be tagged in everything so here’s your first!

You were cleaning out an old closet when you found it, tucked away under a floorboard.  When you saw the small decorated chest, you instantly remembered what was inside.  Throughout your childhood you had written him a number of love letters, confessing your undying commitment to him every few years like some kind of triennial tradition.  None of the letters ever made it to him, because you knew better than to dream of him ever returning the sentiment.  Even knowing that, you felt embarrassment burning in your chest when you remembered some of the ridiculous things you had written.  Julian, you’re the love of my life and I know that we’re meant to be together, shit like that.  

You had always wanted to get out of this town, see the world, experience life, but you never got your chance.  That made it sting all the more when you found the letter from him under your door so many years ago.  You didn’t even need to open the box to read it, you remembered it like you had it right in front of you: You’ve been my best friend my whole life and I’ve loved you like a sister.  I hope you won’t be hurt that I’m leaving, but I can’t stay in this place.  I need adventure, and I plan to find it while I tour the Continent with my songs.  If I ever return I’ll be sure to stop by… and if I become a famous bard, you can always say you knew me back when!  -Julian

When you heard a knock at the door you jumped, having lost yourself in the memory.  You slid the floorboard back quickly, and moved a rug over it to cover the cracks.  Running to the door, you swung it open and what you saw made you sure you’d gone mad.

It was Julian.  He’d barely aged, so much so that at first you thought he was some sort of corporeal memory of the day he left.  

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he remarked casually.  

~

“Julian-” you began.

“I go by Jaskier now,” he corrected.

“Unless you’re here to perform, I’m not going to call you by a stage name,” you frowned. 

“It’s not just a stage name: I’ve reinvented myself,” he boasted. 

“Jules, I’ve known you my whole life, and you’re the same you’ve always been,” you shot him down with an eye roll.  He smiled at you and it made your heart ache.

“You’re the same, too.  But you look different,” he observed.  You must have made a face of disappointment because he instantly corrected himself. “Not older, necessarily.  Well, not old.  You look different…” he paused, “but it suits you.”

“Don’t sound so hesitant,” you laughed.

“It’s just strange!” he defended. “But it’s good to see you again.  I missed you greatly.”

You sighed, looking away. 

“You don’t hate me for leaving, do you?” he asked nervously, taking your hand in his.  His touch shot through your entire body, and you wished he wouldn’t do things like that- things that were so unimportant and nonchalant to him but meant so much to you.

“I only hate you as much as I ever did,” you answered quietly, looking back at him.  He looked like he really needed to believe that you didn’t hate him, which was strange: normally he seemed to either not care what people thought of him, or maybe even thrive on negative attention.  He was always meant to be a star: a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

“Strangely, I don’t find that comforting,” he replied with a chuckle.

“You best not come to me for comfort, don’t you remember how mean I am?” you smiled back.

“Yes, but never to me!” 

“Well, you left,” you responded, and the mood was dampened.  Regretting to have lost the energy, you piped up quickly with a question. “How were your travels?”

It didn’t seem to help.

“Oh, lovely,” he said, but his energy didn’t match the words. “Saw all sorts of wild things.  You’d have loved it.  We were going to make it to the coast- we never did.  But you’d have loved it,” he reflected somberly.

You sighed, imagining how incredible it would be.  To think that he thought of you in such interesting places made you wonder if he would be willing to go with you, like you’d always wanted.

“Maybe we should go,” you suggested hesitantly.

“No, you’d have a terrible time,” he deflected.

“But you just said I’d have loved it,” you remembered.

“I meant being there, but travelling?  You don’t have the constitution for it,” he scoffed.

“What I don’t have the constitution for is staying here,” you countered, sadness palpable in your voice.

“Well, now that I’m back I’m wishing I’d never left,” he groaned.

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Please tell me you won’t be staying long,” you replied incredulously.

“Best not to, I suppose.  Maybe I’ll go to the coast on my own-” he began.

“Take me with you,” you pleaded, gripping his doublet, having lost all sense of dignity, “I need to leave this place.  I can’t die in this town, Julian.  I need to see the world!  I’ve never seen the ocean, the mountains-”

“No,” he repeated.

“Please,” you begged.

“I don’t do that anymore,” he grumbled, turning away to pick up his bag and starting to walk away. “It’s over, alright?”

“What?”

“I was travelling with someone but… I guess I drove him as crazy as I always drove you.  And he told me to leave him alone,” he sighed.

You felt guilty for pressing on it, not realizing it was still a sore spot.

“You didn’t drive me crazy,” you comforted, “not really.”

“I think I’m just too much.  I’m too intense for most people,” he explained.

“Most people are terrible,” you groaned. “Remember how we talked when we were young?  How everyone was so pompous and ridiculous and fake?”

“Yeah,” he smiled a little at the memory.

“Well, we were right.  I mean, I know we were whiny little brats,” you smirked, “but this town hasn’t changed much.  All gossip and nonsense.”

“It’s not this town, it’s the whole Continent,” he corrected.  “Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of it, and people are the same everywhere.”

You didn’t say anything at first.

“Except you,” he added, “of course.”

You smiled but it hurt when he said things like that.  All the “love you like a sister” crap that made being his friend so painful, and now more than ever you couldn’t escape from it.  Of course a part of you was glad to see him again, but now that he was in front of you, it was like not even a day had passed since he left: you still loved him so completely, so desperately, and so pointlessly.  

~

You heard him singing, ever so quietly, from around the corner.  You always thought he had a lovely voice but he’d never liked to play for you.  He said it gave him stage fright, something he failed to experience on actual stages.  You figured he was just holding out on you, for whatever reason.  You didn’t want to spy but also you couldn’t really help it, since you were visiting his family’s home and he had been silly enough to play a song with the door open.  He started and stopped and started over a few times, but once he got going for good, you were close enough to be able to hear the words…

She is the sun, bright and unforgivingBurning the grass and drying the rainI never looked at her, afraid to go blindI loved her light though she brought me such pain

She is the sun and when she walks awayThe world gets colder though the sky is in bloomAs the sun sets I ask if I’ve lost my chance foreverBut she could never stay and to the night I am doomed

“Ah, fuck, doomed doesn’t really rhyme with bloom, does it?” he interrupted himself.  You jumped a little, not realizing how entranced you were by the song, and you reached up to wipe a few stray tears from your cheeks.  You couldn’t be mad at him for singing a song about another woman when he didn’t even know you could hear, but you were angry regardless.  Moreso than angry, just sad.  Wasn’t love supposed to make you feel good?  Loving Julian was a thankless job, certainly.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, and you jumped again, not even having noticed he’d turned the corner.

“Just mopping,” you blurted out.

He looked around for a moment with a raised eyebrow.

“…where’s your mop, then?” he (fairly) queried.

“Still in the kitchen,” you explained, “I’m planning where I’m going to mop.”

“I figured you could sort of just wing it with mopping.  Didn’t realize there was a pre-mopping phase.”

“Oh, absolutely,” you nodded, “it’s really important.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you.  Get on with it,” he encouraged, starting to go back into his room.

“Wait,” you prompted.  He stopped, turning back to face you. “I liked the song.”

“I was hoping you hadn’t heard that,” he replied nervously.

“Why?”

“I didn’t want anyone to hear it until it was finished,” he explained.

“And when it’s finished, will you play it at the local pub or something?” you asked, remembering his earliest performances when you were fifteen or so.

“No, too personal for that: I was planning to play it for the subject,” he explained.  You winced.

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” you responded quietly

“Yeah, the Countess is fickle and all but she usually spreads her legs for a good song,” he smiled mischievously.

Thinking of him with someone else, especially like that, made you want to vomit… then you would actually need to mop.  

“Why did you come here?” you asked him, finally, after wanting to understand for so long.

“I… I needed some time at home,” he answered, but you didn’t buy it.

“Why now?  And why did you come to my door?” you growled.

“Are you offended by that?  Am I not allowed to visit a friend?” he responded in confusion.

“I didn’t even realize we were still friends!” you admitted.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked like it made no sense at all, and you were thankful you weren’t holding anything because you likely would’ve thrown it.

“You left without a proper warning, I didn’t hear from you at all for… a long fucking time, and now you have the audacity to come back!” you barked.  “I already gave you everything, and you threw it away, searching for adventure!  What could you possibly want from me now?”

"It’s just my selfishness, I suppose, but I wanted to know there was someone out there who still cared for me,” he defended.

"You’re asking me if I care for you?  Is that really what’s on your mind?” you asked incredulously.  He didn’t respond, seeming confused.You felt tears sting the back of your eyes, rage burning through your chest.  You were tired of lying, tired of running around and being his pet all so you could be near him when he wanted nothing from you but a reminder he wasn’t totally alone in the world after he’d burned every bridge- including the one you had been standing on, waiting, for all these years.

“Julian Alfred Pankratz, I will love you until the day I die.  I promise you that.”  You tried to say it with the anger, hatred even, that you felt, but most of it was lost as your voice wavered from crying.  You turned away and walked outside, sobbing so hard you weren’t sure that you would be able to walk home properly.  You did, eventually, and immediately crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep.

~

Maybe it wasn’t even noon yet, but it felt like time for a drink.  The pub was empty, at least at first; halfway through your fourth mug, an old acquaintance, Viktor, walked in and sat beside you.

“Bit early for that, isn’t it?” he frowned.  

“Then what are you doing here?” you asked.

“Looking for you,” he answered.

You chuckled, considering how disappointed he must be to find you like this: eyes still swollen from crying, half-drunk, more cynical and calloused than ever.

“So, listen, I’ve been thinking,” Viktor began, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.  Despite being nearly an old maid at this point, Viktor had always sought you.  You’d known him your whole life and he was always a pest: rude, aggressive, dull.  Dumb enough to think you hadn’t realized his feelings for you.  He had proposed marriage twice, never having much of a better reason than “we’re both still single and it would make our families happy if we married.”  And now here he was, bothering you while you were trying to have a drink in peace, presumably so he could do it all over again.

“I’m not here to ask you to marry me,” he clarified, as if reading your mind.  You perked up a bit at that.

“I’m finally too old for you?” you scoffed.

“Don’t be like that,” he frowned, “you’re not old.  It makes perfect sense to me that you’re unmarried at this age, even if everyone calls you an old hag and a spinster.”

Viktor had a way of trying to be nice but it always ending in an insult.  Not that it was news to you that people talked about you that way.

“And why do you think I’m unmarried?” you pressed.

“Because you haven’t gotten to know anybody well enough,” he posited. “Look, I’ve known you my whole life, so I always figured I knew you well enough for marriage, but I see that you’re right now.  We don’t really know each other that way.”

You nodded. “Good, you’ve come to see reason then.”

“There must be some way that we could, though,” he added. “A date; courting.”

“Courting?  I’m not fourteen,” you grimaced.

“Whatever you’d want to call it.  I’d come by tomorrow and we’d go for a walk.  And we’d talk about whatever we wanted to, and we’d see how we get along when it’s just us,” he offered.

“Sound boring,” you mumbled.

“Don’t be so mean,” he requested.

“I was always mean and you still fell for me.”

“I was always nice and you still ignore me.  If you would just stop chasing something you’ll never get-” he began, but as you looked at him he stopped and started over.  “You have to stop hurting yourself over people who don’t care about you,” he explained. “If you gave me a chance, you’d appreciate how nice it feels to know someone cares for you.”

I wanted to know there was someone out there who still cared for me, you remembered Julian saying.  Apparently everyone else wanted to be cared for, but you were too busy caring to consider your own feelings.  You were so tired of fighting for Julian and rebuffing Viktor and shouldering the burden of spinsterhood in a conservative town like this one.

“Alright, come by tomorrow, then,” you acquiesced.  Viktor smiled.

“You won’t regret it- you’ll learn to appreciate me,” he predicted as he stood up to leave.

“The beginning of every successful relationship,” you replied sarcastically, but he seemed to take you literally.  What a moron.  At least he was nice enough- and actually had the integrity and honesty to tell you how he felt… not that you felt particularly integritous after your confession to Julian.  But you were optimistic; maybe this was a step in the right direction.  So why did the idea of letting go of him, even when you had known you needed to for years, hurt so deeply?

~

You stayed drunk through the afternoon but stopped drinking after a while, so you could go to bed sober.  You stayed up later than normal, avoiding sleep and the torturous dreams of love that it always brought.  It had started to rain- downpour, actually- and the thunder would’ve kept you up anyhow.

You heard a knock at your door and answered hesitantly, unsure who would be coming by so late.  When you opened it you saw Julian, soaked through with rain, looking like a lost puppy.  Of course you wanted to invite him in from the rain but you were still angry so you let him stand out there a bit longer.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

He looked at you, and when you looked back into his eyes, you saw it.  You understood instantly what was really going on.

“Oh, oh no,” you reprimanded as you stepped back, wagging a finger at him. “No, Julian- don’t you dare.”

“I can’t help it,” he defended.

“No, no, don’t you dare love me now!” you ordered.

“Why can’t I?” he asked quietly, stepping towards you, through the doorway and out of the rain.  You stepped back again, running into a wall and bracing against it.

“It’s too late.  Jules, after all these years…” you trailed off, but then shook your head. “It’s too late,” you repeated.

“It can’t be too late,” he refused, “there has to be another chance.”

“You ran out of chances,” you explained, starting to cry, “it’s over.  Julian, it’s too late.  At some point, it has to be too late.”

“There has to be another chance for us,” he asserted.  You sobbed when you heard him say that word, ‘us.’

“Jules, no,” you wept, “I waited for so long.  I thought that if I loved you hard enough, that you would have to love me back.  And you left.  Julian, you left.  I had to give up.  I had to let it go.  I had to stop loving you.”

“But you didn’t,” he remembered, and you watched as a tear ran down his own face.

“Because you’re my fucking curse!” you screamed. “You’re my ghost!  You fucking haunt me!  Loving you has taken everything from me!”

“I never asked you to love me all those years!” he countered, his voice raising but not matching yours.

“But you’re asking me to now,” you scoffed.

“I’m not asking for anything.  I just need you to know the truth,” he explained.

“Bullshit,” you spat. “You came here because I was always your back-up plan.  You tired of whoring around, and you decided to come back because I was the stable option, the safe option.  You never wanted my love, you just wanted my attention.”

“For a long time, I didn’t understand the difference between love and attention,” he responded with a quiet, somber tone.  Your anger subsided partially.  “I didn’t understand the need for loyalty or reliability.  And then I lost everything.  The first thing I thought of when I considered coming here wasn’t my family, my house, my culture.  It was you.  I wanted to go home,” his voice began to waver tearfully, “and coming back to you was coming home.  I lost everything and all I had left was you.  And it’s not because you were my second choice.  It’s because I’m a fucking idiot who couldn’t see how much I needed you until-”

“Until it was too late,” you finished.

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded, stepping towards you again, this time touching you, grabbing your arms gently but with urgency.  His hands were warm, even when they were wet with cold rain. “Gods, don’t say that, please.”

You looked up at him and cried; you cried because you knew that there was no ending for you but heartbreak. 

“The day I met you, when I was just a few years old, was the day my life was ruined,” you whispered. “Cursed forever to live a life at your beck and call, because I loved you with everything I had.  I’ve never been able to stop, even when I hated you and even when I needed to let you go and move on so that I could live.  Julian, I waited my whole life for you…”

“You don’t have to wait anymore,” he whispered back, leaning down as his face moved closer to yours.  You whimpered weakly, your crying beginning to soothe.  His hand wiped your tears away, and you rested your face into his palm.  His touch was so warm, delicate, comforting.  

“I love you,” he confessed, examining your face.  You nodded, still crying partially from the initial hurt and partially from a solemn joy of everything you ever wanted suddenly right in front of you.  He was so close now that his face was just a few centimetres from yours, you could even feel his breath, see every drop of water running down from his hair into his face.  “Tell me it isn’t over,” he begged.

“It was never over,” you reassured, closing the distance between you and kissing him softly.  You were both still crying, just a little, perhaps mourning all the time lost that you could never get back.  And yet, all the anger of the past and the fear of the future washed away, and all that was left was being together in this moment.  The hand on your face moved to hold your head and neck, and the other pulled you closer at the waist.  Feeling his body pressed against yours was like cozying up to a warm fireplace, his presence a golden glow against the cold, dark world outside.  You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and starting to fall back into his arms.  He held you tightly, the wetness of his clothes soaking through yours quickly.  You didn’t even gasp when he picked you up, too lost in the kiss and trusting him too much to be afraid of falling.  He carried you down the hall, kicking the bedroom door open but setting you down onto the quilt gently.

~ 

You awoke to sunlight streaming in through the window, and the feeling of Julian’s fingers running through your hair.  You turned to face him, appreciating how lovely he looked washed in the sunrise.  You indulged yourself in looking at his muscular shoulders and chest where they weren’t covered by the bedsheets.

“Good morning,” he smiled.

“I can’t believe that really happened,” you whispered, mostly to yourself.

“I can,” he replied. “It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” you answered, feeling yourself blush a bit. 

“We should go somewhere,” he suggested suddenly.

“Where?” you asked.

“Wherever you’d like,” he shrugged.  You ran your fingers down his chest, admiring the thick layer of dark hair, imagining all the places you could go.

“Take me to the ocean, then,” you requested.

“The middle of the ocean?  Or is the coast alright?” he smirked.

You laughed.

“I’m serious!” he defended. “I’m not opposed to sailing.  It’s rather peaceful.”

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?  The water?” you imagined.

“Nothing quite like it,” he smiled serenely.

“Promise you’ll take me,” you demanded.

“I promise,” he whispered as he moved a stray lock of hair out of your face.

“Soon?” you pressed.

“There’s nothing keeping us here.  We could leave tomorrow if you’d like,” he offered. 

“Not planning on running off without me again, are you?  This wasn’t all some convoluted ploy to get me into bed?” you asked, mostly joking.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughed, sitting up and pulling you closer.  Soon he was hovering over you, and your legs wrapped around his waist before you could even think about it.

“Twice in a night didn’t satisfy you?” he smirked.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be satisfied,” you replied.

“And to think you accused me of wanting to run off!  I’m not sure I’ll ever get out of this bed, if you have your way,” he teased, leaning down to kiss your neck.

“I waited so long for this,” you explained, “I suppose my patience has run thin.”

“Then I won’t keep you waiting any longer,” he growled, and you bit your lip as you smiled.

You startled when you heard a knock on the front door.

“Who’d be coming by at this hour?” Julian asked with confusion.

As if to answer, you heard Viktor’s voice coming from across the house: “Are you all right?” 

“Fuck,” you whispered, rolling out from under him and hopping out of the bed.  Despite the commotion and the events of the night previous, Julian still took a moment to look you up and down as your naked form was exposed.  “I forgot he was coming over today,” you hissed.

“Tell him to bugger off,” he scoffed.

“Alright, but I need to get dressed and you need to stay hidden,” you commanded.

You searched for your clothing strewn about the floor, slipping back on your wrinkled dress and attempting to make some sense of your hair.

Dressed enough to answer the door, you shooed a half-clothed Julian into a corner where he couldn’t be seen from the entryway.  You dashed down the hall and opened the door, and Viktor was waiting on the other side.

“Viktor!  Good morning!” you said cheerfully, holding the door only enough to fit your body into it, hoping he wouldn’t see much of the messy room behind you.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” he noticed instantly.  You sighed, not realizing your plan wouldn’t last even through one sentence.  What you especially didn’t realize was that, upon understanding what most likely had happened, Viktor would push past you, entering in a rage.

“Wait, stop!” you protested, but it was too late.  Viktor stormed towards the bedroom, from which Julian had emerged and then immediately started to run away. 

“You,” Viktor growled as he pointed to the topless bard.

“Hey, long time no see!” Julian cheered weakly.

“Bastard!” Viktor bellowed, chasing Julian down and pinning him against the wall. 

“Stop!” you demanded, rushing towards them.  Viktor released Julian only for a moment to grab you by the collar of your dress, and you yelped.

“I’ll deal with you next, whore!” he spat, the back of his hand slapping you across the face so hard that you spun onto the floor.

Julian launched at Viktor, the two falling next to you on the ground and wrestling in a flurry of punches.  You tried to kick them off of each other but the fight grew more brutal quickly.  Soon Viktor had forced Julian onto the ground and was punching him over and over, each hit bloodying his face more and more.

“Stop, please!” you begged, but he wasn’t listening.  You were sure that he was going to kill him, and you scrambled towards your bedside chest.  Opening it, your dagger was laid right on top, and you wasted no time grabbing it and running over to the two of them.  You grunted as you swung the blade down, stabbing Viktor in the back.  He cried out, falling onto his side on the floor.  Julian weakly sat up, sliding along the ground to get away from his attacker.  You watched Viktor struggle for a moment and then relax, a large pool of blood already forming under him.  You rushed to Julian’s side on the floor, examining his face.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured before you could even ask.

“It looks pretty bad,” you winced.

“You saved me- I thought he was going to kill me,” he groaned.

“I couldn’t let you go that easy,” you smiled.  Julian closed his eyes, leaning his back against the wall as he sat in the corner of the room.  You looked at him with a smile: even bloodied and beaten he looked like everything you’d ever wanted.

You stood up and turned around, hoping to be able to care for Viktor’s wound, and everything happened so fast that you were on the floor before you realized exactly what had occurred.  You looked up just in time to see Viktor topple to the ground and die, a trail of blood behind him.  The wound in his back was empty, and you looked down to see your own dagger plunged into your gut.

“No!” Julian yelled, crawling towards you and examining the wound before grabbing your face. “No, no, no, no,” he rushed, tears running down his face as he scrambled around you to try to decide what to do.

“Julian,” you tried to soothe him, feeling a burning heat radiating from where you’d been stabbed.

“Oh Gods, I’ll go get someone- there must be a healer nearby-” he began desperately.

“Julian, look at me,” you requested, your voice weaker.  You felt so tired.  He obeyed, the fear in his expression clear even as you couldn’t see him that well through your tears.

“It’s over,” you whispered.

“No, no, it’s not,” he reassured as he shook his head, “it can’t be.  You’re going to be okay.  And we’re going to be together.”

"We were together, and it was beautiful,” you remembered, stopping to cough which sprayed blood from your mouth.

“It’s not over,” he repeated, but the way his voice wavered made it clear that he didn’t believe it entirely.  “I can’t lose you again.”

It was getting harder to fight to stay awake, and you didn’t want to fight anymore.  You felt like if you just let go, you could fall back into something warm and dark and peaceful.  And you were ready to let it wrap around you and take you home.  He grabbed your hand and held it in his, planting a kiss on your knuckles and holding your fingers against his forehead.  His touch kept you lucid a bit longer, but your fingers were already so cold…

“I kept my promise,” you whispered, a warm tear rolling down your cheek as you felt everything blur and soften, your vision narrowing down to a point even though you couldn’t tell if your eyes were closing.

“No, no, please don’t go…" Julian’s begging faded away into the quiet static of sleep.  

~

You startled awake, and instantly you couldn’t see or breathe.  Your body flailed against the oppressive darkness and you felt it moving against you, felt that there was something to struggle against.  Pushing back against the weight, your hands were suddenly cold and you remembered the feeling as air.  Sitting up, you were freed, coughing hoarsely as you breathed for the first time you could remember in a long time.  Opening your eyes, you saw you were on the beach, surrounded by and covered in sand.  You looked behind you and observed the hole you had just crawled out of.  Just above where your head must’ve been lay a pile of rocks, and remnants of dead flowers.  This was a burial ground.  Your burial ground.

You vaguely remembered dying, the sensation of holding Julian’s hand as you slipped away.  You could imagine it so clearly that it almost felt real, like you’d only let go of him a moment ago.  You reached down to your stomach where the knife had been, and found a bloodied hole in your clothes but no damage on your skin.  

You touched your hair and it was braided.  You looked through the sand and found flowers everywhere, even a bouquet.  You began to cry as you realized that Julian had kept his promise to take you to the ocean, and even gone so far as to prepare your body for a funeral and decorate your sandy coffin with flowers.

There has to be another chance, his words from the night before you died rang in your head.  You stood up, your legs still a little wobbly as you got used to walking again.  But quickly you were running, determined on your mission to find Julian and fix this for good.  You weren’t sure how you were alive, but you knew why: he and your teenage self were right.  You were meant to be together.  And now not even Death could stop you.

~

“Tell me the date,” you demanded as you swung open the door to the mage’s office.  He motioned to an astrological calendar on the wall, and you examined it.  

“It’s been exactly a year,” you realized aloud.

“Since when?” the mage asked curiously.

“Since I died,” you said casually.

The mage stood up, pulling out a chair and gesturing towards it.

“Please, have a seat,” he requested.

~

“I’m not sure I came back from the dead,” you groaned as you looked at yourself in the mirror.  You saw some features that you shared with your memory of how you’d looked before, but you saw yourself as a stranger.  Everything you’d hated about your face and body (and there was a lot) was gone.  No pockmarks from your childhood illness.  No wrinkles around your eyes and mouth.  Stronger jawline, bigger eyes, fuller lips.  Your hair was fuller as well, and even the colour was different.  It wasn’t like looking at an entirely different person necessarily, moreso just yourself with several minor changes that really added up, but it was quite the shock regardless.

“In my experience with resurrection, a physical change is normal,” the mage explained.

“You have experience with resurrection?” you asked incredulously as you turned to him.

“No,” he frowned.

You grimaced, looking back to yourself in the mirror, tugging at your skin as if the mask would peel off and you’d look like the old you again.

“So, you don’t know how or why you’ve changed?” the mage interrogated.

“Yes, of course,” you sighed.

“And you don’t know how or why you’re alive?” he asked.

“I don’t know how,” you answered, “but I know why.”

The mage waited for an explanation.

“Love,” you stated plainly.  “Do you think love can create miracles?”

He pondered for a moment before he replied. “Destiny gets her way,” he decided, “and even Death bends to her will.”

“I’ve always known he was my destiny,” you remembered.

“I have to say, I’ve had quite a peculiar day,” the mage admitted.  You glared at him.  “Not quite peculiar enough to compete with yours, of course, but peculiar nonetheless.  I don’t usually spend all day talking about destiny.”

“I thought that was normal fare for a mage.”

“Most people come here asking to either lift a curse or cast one.  Destiny is a rarer issue.  Just before you came in, I was discussing it with someone else- a witcher, if you’d believe it,” he recalled.

“I’d believe anything now,” you smirked.

“Say, do witchers normally have travelling companions?”

Your face dropped and you stood up from your seat.

“Tell me where they went,” you demanded.

“I try to offer my clients privacy, a sense of discretion-” he began, but he choked when you grabbed him by the collar.

“Tell me where they were headed, now,” you repeated through your teeth.

~

“You’ve aged more in the past year than you did in all our travels together,” Geralt observed.

“I lost everything,” was all Jaskier said.

Suddenly he looked to the horizon, not for any reason, just a feeling that he should.  Staring ahead he saw a silhouette begin to emerge from over the hill.  You looked back at him and you prepared to explain who you were, what had happened, why you changed (not that you understood all of that yourself).  Instead he started to run to you, and you couldn’t fight back your ecstatic smile as you began to run to him as well.  When you met in the middle he embraced you, spinning you around and pulling you into a kiss that made you feel properly alive again, more than before.

“It was never over,” he told you quietly as he pulled back from the kiss.  

“How did you know it was me?” you asked, running your fingers down his cheek. “You buried me.  I look completely different.  I don’t even recognize myself.”

“I could just… tell,” he shrugged.

“But how?” you demanded.

“Because it’s you,” he answered simply, using his hand to brush some hair out of your face. “It was always you.”

You kissed him again, with enough passion to make up for the all the time lost, and yet, brimming with hope and excitement for the future.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: General Hux

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Oh boy.

I think that Hux is a character who, more than anything, is emblematic of every single problem the prequel trilogy had. He had a great setup and first appearance, followed by one where he was just made a complete ass of, and then finally haphazardly thrown into a story where his entire character was betrayed for no apparent reason other than the writers just seemed to forget what the hell they were gonna do with him.

Motivation/Goals: This is where Hux really falls apart, and why he utterly fails as a villain. Ostensibly, Hux should be the loyal space military man we’ve seen done well before in characters like Tarkin. It’s a simple character type we’ve seen a lot in the franchise, but it’s tried and true. And to his credit, he seems to follow that in The Force Awakens, where he is actually set up extremely well, as most things in that movie were.

But then came The Last Jedi. This film marked the bumpy slide downward for the sequel trilogy, but Hux had smooth sailing all the way into the pit. In this film, he is treated less like the high-ranking official e is, and more like a complete and utter JOKE. He gets dragged across the floor and just belittled by his superiors at every turn, and by the film’s end it is abundantly clear he hates Kylo Ren. So this is going to set up some awesome internal power struggle in the First Order, right? WRONG. All that ends up happening is there are a few scenes where Hux looks pissy at Kylo, then it’s revealed he’s betraying the First Order to the rebels because he hates Kylo Ren that much, and then he is unceremoniously blasted away in the very next scene.

Literally nothing about his betrayal makes any sense because if nothing else, Hux has been established as loyal to the First Order. Much like everything in The Rise of Skywalker, they might have been able to pull this off if they bothered to explain anything, but his pouty, whiny little bitch-boy response of “I don’t care who wins, I just want Kylo Ren to LOSE!” is such an utterly demeaning and pathetic excuse that it just tanks his entire character and makes it a relief when he is blasted away.

Performance: Domhnall Gleeson is a good actor, and at least in The Force Awakens he’s really giving it his all, bringing a terrifying intensity to that scene where he gives a speech to the gathered First Order before Starkiller Base is activated. But after that first film, his performance just feels… almost phoned in. Hux is just a very dull, worthless character after that.

Final Fate: Hux’s death is fitting, seeing as he is a cowardly bastard with no dignity whatsoever; Pryde just immediately executes him on the spot without a second thought a single scene after Hux has revealed he is the mole in the First Order. It honestly saved the Resistance the trouble, because there’s no doubt Hux would be executed for war crimes after the war was over anyway. Kinda makes you wonder what the point of him being a mole was in the first place, to be honest.

Oh, right, there was no point.

Best Scene: The solitary moment where Hux manages to achieve greatness is during his terrifying Nazi-esque First Order speech in The Force Awakens as he revs up the Starkiller Base to blow up the Hosnian system. In fact, Hux really is only as bad as I think he is as a character because not a single film afterwards even attempts to try and emulate or match how Hux is portrayed in this scene. If they had ran with this characterization, we could have had someone on the level of Tarkin, Pryde, or Krennic instead of the idiotic slapstick punching bag who gets crapped on by his superiors every scene.

Best Quote: Just turn the subtitles on for his speech up there, that’s his unironic best quote. In an ironic sense, his petulant, whiny little reasoning for betraying literally everything he stands for despite being an unrepentant war criminal who would be executed at war’s end is hilarious for how absolutely stupid, awful, and juvenile it is: “I don't care if you win. I need Kylo Ren to lose!”

Final Thoughts & Score: Hux is, without a doubt, one of the worst villains ever, and unlike Palpatine he doesn’t have much to fall back on. Yes, Domhnall Gleeson is a good actor, but he is no Ian McDiarmid, that’s for sure, and he is entirely unable to salvage the character when things go south. It doesn’t help that, unlike Palpatine, who has three or four movies under his belt where he was hilarious and awesome as well as several other appearances in stuff like the animated shows or that one Kinect game where he straight up gets off his throne and busts a move (which is totally canon, I promise), Hux really just has three films where he just steadily gets worse as the series progresses, culminating in a third appearance that just cements him as one of the most dumbass characters conceived for this franchise.

It’s really baffling to think what they were trying to do with him. They set him up as a really cool and threatening military villain in the first film, then have him survive unlike his betters Tarkin and Krennic, and then just spend an entire film treating him like a complete and utter joke only to have him, in his final film, pull an utterly nonsensical and counterintuitive betrayal out of his ass that completely spits in the face of everything that was established about the guy up until that point. A 1/10 almost seems too nice for him, but let me tell you something: a 1 isn’t merely for a villain who sucks, that’s what 2 is for. 

No, a 1 is a villain who has utterly botched potential AND ALSO sucks. Malekith could have been cool, as his comic counterpart shows, but they squandered him; Dudepeel could have been an awesome cinematic Deadpool as the Ryan Reynolds performance earlier in the film showed, but the character was intentionally sabotaged; Rowan from Ghostbusters could have been an actual fun and funny villain while still being a jab at whiny entitled dudebros if the writing was any better; and Hux could have been a cool and threatening military villain if they didn’t just turn him into an utter joke and then totally mischaracterize him for no good reason. It really just is a fact that everyone who went in to The Rise of Skywalker came out infinitely worse; maybe I should be glad that Phasma was killed in The Last Jedi, because instead of being disappointing wasted potential she could have ended up like Hux.

But hey, while we’re here, let’s talk about the character in The Rise of Skywalker who is Hux done right:

Psycho Analysis: Allegiant General Enric Pryde

He’s ruthless. He’s efficient. He sees through lies and he gets things done. Enric Pryde is an utter badass and the exact sort of evil military commander Star Wars deserves as a villain.

Motivation/Goals: The Rise of Skywalker keeps things really vague since it is a film incapable of expanding on any idea, no matter how good it is, in a satisfying way, but what we do get is that Pryde is as loyal as they come, having served the Empire back in the day under Palpatine. He is just here to execute the will of the First Order and then the Final Order, no matter what, be it under Kylo Ren or Palpatine. Sweet, simple, effective, and never once betrayed by the story. Take that, Hux!

Performance: Richard E. Grant portrays Pryde, and he is just completely and utterly dead serious. There’s no jokes at his expense, nothing to mock, he is completely and utterly committed to his evil actions. I really don’t think I could possibly say it better than TVTropes did:

Final Fate: Of course, he gets blown up when that whole random CGI fleet that showed up with Lando comes in. Characters either went into The Rise of Skywalker and came out crappy or they died. There’s really no in between.

Best Scene: When he kills Hux, of course! It’s just a perfect showcase of his character, and it rids us of one of the sequel trilogy’s biggest embarrassments.

Final Thoughts & Score: Pryde is not the most deep or complex villain, nor is he utilized to his fullest potential; his past with Palpatine is largely unexplored, and he was just created for this movie, meaning he had absolutely no buildup whatsoever. Despite all that, though, he still manages to be cooler, more efficient, and more ruthless than any other villain in the whole sequel trilogy. He’s got limited screentime, was made entirely for this film, and is pretty much the bare minimum for what a great evil general should be in the franchise, but Richard E. Grant’s stoic and dead serious performance combined with the character’s crowning achievement – killing Hux – makes him a 7/10 in my book. 

The sad thing is that he’s probably the best major antagonist in the sequel trilogy, which is frankly kind of pathetic. And even more sad is how utterly he outdoes Hux, simply by being what Hux should have been all along and what The Force Awakens was clearly building him up as. 

[sleepingfancies]

We Need to Talk About SJM

I was recently anonymously asked what exactly my issue with Sarah Jane Maas is, and ended up writing what was essentially a thesis paper about it. Unfortunately, Tumblr pulled a Shitty Website move and deleted everything I wrote under the ‘read more’ tab, so I’m compiling my reasons here on a masterpost, for your reading leisure.

EDIT: Read more tab continues to not work for me, so I apologize to all of you who have to suffer through this. I’ll tag is as a long post accordingly.

Let’s get started

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Reason 1: She preaches messages that no young girl needs to (or should) hear.

Granted, I know the a lot of the YA genre are adults who are no strangers to smut and aren’t phased by toxic behavior in characters. But on the same token, a lot of the YA genre is fueled by young girls age 12-20. Now I’m not going to sit here and pretend like girls in that age range aren’t reading/writing smutty fanfiction or dating. I know they do, I did, most of my friends did. But at that age, young girls are still trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be, including in terms of relationships. That’s where my problem with Maas comes in.

Maas writes, almost exclusively, toxic relationships - at best. Straight up abusive at worst. At one point in ACOTAR, I had to put the book down because I was so disgusted by what happened. Rhysand assaulted Feyre. I’m not kidding. He kissed and groped her against her will, telepathically asked whether she was wet about it, and wondered aloud what she looked like naked. The entire goal of doing this was to piss Feyre’s then-boyfriend off, and for Rhysand to assert his dominance as a Fae lord or whatever the fuck (y’know, like rapists do). Feyre was left shaking, nauseated, and scared for her life. But the worst part? It was written like this was something sexy and desirable. Literal penetration was all that stopped this from being a horrifying rape scene, and I couldn’t believe Maas wrote about it like some hot erotica. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t cute. It was disgusting, violating, and I was furious when I read it (especially given Feyre actually ends up with Rhysand eventually. What the fuck).

In Throne of Glass - and subsequent sequels - there are couples (namely Rowan and Aelin) who quite literally spit on each other, punch each other, and bite each other. No, not “love nip” bite, I mean “I’m trying to tear your skin off” bite. But we’re meant to believe they’re endgame, meant to be, and a totally healthy relationship. Let’s not even get into emotional abuse and manipulation, because holy fuck does every single character in these books act like a goddamn villain if we were to go over that in detail. All you need to know is that “if you don’t do xyz then I’ll leave and never come back” “what made you think I cared about you? You’re nothing to me. Just kidding, I love you” and similar sentiments are rampant in these series.

While we’re here, what is up with this “mates” nonsense? Every character pairing we see by the end of the ToG series has a “mate,” and swears off everyone they’ve had before, claiming them to be “false mates.” This whole “mates” business sounds a lot like somebody desperately trying to reassure their insanely jealous partner that they don’t still have feelings for their ex. That’s not healthy! That’s not okay! Your exes helped you narrow down your search. They helped you understand yourself more and what you want (or don’t want). And y’know what? It’s okay to have happy memories with an ex. It’s okay to not hate your ex. Telling young girls that all that matters is their future husband (which erases LGBT+ girls, as well as straight women who don’t want to get married) is harmful as hell, and contributes to the idea that a girl is only “complete” when she finds her “soulmate.”

Girls 12-20 really do not need to be given the message that it’s normal - nay, romantic - for their partners to hit them, humiliate them, or assault them. You may be saying, “Clara, come on, girls know fiction isn’t reality and no girl is actually going to stand for that kind of thing in real life.” But I can’t tell you how horribly my own view of relationships was corrupted for several years after all the books I read as a tween where the protagonist had to defend her flirty boyfriend from the advances of other girls. I didn’t trust boys not to cheat on me. I didn’t trust my girl friends not to try and steal a boyfriend. I thought girls who dressed up and wore makeup and dated a lot were sluts. It took me years of conscious effort to unlearn those ideas. Fiction can and does influence the reader. So again I say: teaching girls that it’s “hot and sexy” when men literally abuse you is not a message a 12-20 year old should be hearing. Ever.

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Reason 2: What exactly does Maas want her readers to be?

Y’know, Maas thinks Caelena/Aelin is a role model for young girls. But here’s a brief list of things Celery/Alien has done throughout the Throne of Glass series:

1. Tried to smash a flower pot over a girl’s head for showing interest in courting Prince Dorian. Despite said girl literally being present at the castle for that purpose and Caelena was not.

2. Very nearly murdered Dorian for absolutely fuckall reason, and then she got mad at Chaol for trying to stop her (keep in mind: Chaol and Dorian are supposed to be best friends. So like... yeah, he’s gonna come to Dorian’s defense).

3. Straight up said, “if I get bored being queen I’ll just go and conquer more lands for my kingdom.” Imperialist there much, Aelin?

This is Maas’ role model material? Half the shit she does from Heir of Fire onward could be described as “war crime” and the other half could be described as “selfish.” Maas seems to think that a shit ton of half-baked “witty” lines and a few “badass” fight scenes completely makes up for having an amoral character as the protagonist you want to flaunt around as an icon for young girls.

It would be one thing if Maas said, “I don’t want anyone to be like Celery/Alien. She’s not a good person and I want my readers to be able to identify how and why she isn’t a good person. The moral is what not to be like.” But she does the opposite and claims time and time again that Celery/Alien is some kind of feminist warrior, when in fact Celery/Alien is the very epitome of white feminism and false feminism. She’ll be all kinds of gung-ho for herself, but as soon as another woman mentions her own unique problems or lifestyles, Celery/Alien thinks she’s a “whiny bitch,” “dumb slut,” or something similar. Celery/Alien ends up looking down her nose at basically every other female character. The lack of female friendships in Maas’ books is frankly astounding.

No girl needs to be Celery/Alien. Celery/Alien is not a role model, she is not a feminist, she is not a figurehead of a well developed female character or even a compelling antihero. She’s sexist, she’s misogynistic, she has serious anger issues, she’s manipulative, she’s abusive. This is not who young girls should be looking up to.

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Reason 3: Maas has no place in the YA genre.

I’m not really sure I need to elaborate much on this. Let me give you a scenario:

Imagine you’re at a book signing for your fans. They’re mostly girls 15-20, so you kind of just sign their copies without thinking much about it. But then a smaller girl comes up to the table, you ask her age, and she says “I’m ten.” A 10 year old girl is standing in front of you, clutching her copy of your book where you wrote and published the scene, “he buried in to the hilt and roared. Over and over he spilled inside of her, the lightning outside flashing soft and lovely long after he stilled.”

Look me in the eye and tell me that shit is appropriate in the YA genre. At all. Ever.

You wanna write romance? Go for it. It can be cute! It can be healthy! It can be intriguing! But this? This? This is just... erotica. If you’re publishing stuff like this in the YA genre, in a book that isn’t even on the ‘tween/teen romance’ shelves, then you better be ready to take full responsibility for teaching 10 year olds what a blowjob is, what an orgasm is, what BDSM is, what a fucking foot fetish is.

I know JK Rowling isn’t the most popular right now, but even she did better than this. The first 3 Harry Potter books you can generally find on the children’s/middle grade shelves. They were cute, fun little adventures about wizards and magic and fantastic creatures. Books 4-7? Those are on the YA shelves. People are dying, magic is dangerous, fascist organizations are on the rise -- it isn’t fun for Harry anymore. It isn’t about the wonders of magic. It’s about life or death, war, and fear. So yeah, of course those book aren’t going to be on the children’s/middle grade shelves! They’re dark! They’re scary! That kind of material shouldn’t be advertised as appropriate for younger kids!

Maas never extended that courtesy. Maas took her books full of badly written erotica and plopped them down right where all the rest of the completely tame YA books went, because she wanted the sales. She didn’t care if she was exposing kids who were too young to explicit sex scenes. She never posted a disclaimer, she never posted any kind of warning on social media when the books came out. Nope. She just silently took advantage of the market knowing she’d get more sales in YA. But it has no place in YA. It’s not YA. And I don’t think I’m ever gonna be okay with that.

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Reason 4: Diversity? Never heard of it!

Maas’ books are so incredibly white and straight that it’s painful. Rowan and Aelin? White and straight. Feyre? Rhysand? Chaol? Dorian? Manon? Hey, you guessed it! They’re all white and straight (despite Chaol, Dorian, and Manon being heavily LGBT+ coded for like, the entire series till the last book)!

“He looked at his friend, perhaps for the last time, and said what he had always known, from the moment they met, ‘I love you.’” (Queen of Shadows)

Hello? Sarah Jane? I’m all for male friendships, but there’s male friendships and then there’s actual romance. Chaol and Dorian are about as gay-coded as they could fucking get. And this isn’t even the only time this happens! Check this out:

“Dorian surged from his chair and dropped to his knees beside the bed. He grabbed Chaol’s hand, squeezing it as he pressed his brow against his. ‘You were dead,’ the prince said, his voice breaking. ‘I thought you were dead.’” (Queen of Shadows)

But wait, there’s more!

“‘I’m not leaving you. Not again.’

Dorian’s mouth tightened. ‘You didn’t leave, Chaol.’ He shook his head once, sending tears slipping down his cheeks. ‘You never left me.’” (Queen of Shadows)

I mean come on, Sarah!

Also, Manon. My girl Manon hated men, pretty explicitly, for the entire series. In case you don’t believe me:

“There were few sounds Manon enjoyed more than the groans of dying men.” (Heir of Fire)

Oh, and other characters even imply Manon has never had a heterosexual relationship in her fucking life. See:

“‘That golden-haired witch, Asterin...’ Aelin said. ‘She screamed Manon’s name the way I screamed yours. How can I take away somebody who means the world to someone else? Even if she is my enemy.’” (Queen of Shadows)

Tell me that’s not gay as fuck. I dare you.

Manon had a whole lot of love to give women! She was always affectionate towards other women. Particularly Elide. This is a woman who was about as lesbian as you could get. Had no interest in men, every interest in women, rejected typically expected roles for women (getting married and having kids, etc.) but guess what happened? Guess what fucking happened?

This warrior who was friends with and rode on a big fuckoff wyvern completely and totally submits to Dorian as her lover. I don’t mean that metaphorically. They literally do some BDSM shit where he’s her “master” and she “kneels to him” or whatever the fucking fuck. This entire thing pissed me off more than Chaol and Dorian being all “no homo bro,” because Maas used every possible symbol and subtext for Manon being gay, and then said “just kidding!” Her relationship with Dorian came out of nowhere. All of a sudden she was just as thirsty for mediocre dick as Aelin.

At this point I honestly have to wonder if Maas is really this ignorant or if she’s - dare I say it? - taunting her readers who have complained about the lack of LGBT+ representation. Maas has, historically, not reacted well to people criticizing her work. I would not put it beyond her at all to intentionally queer-code characters only to turn around and rip the rug out from under her readers by pairing them up in heterosexual relationships. And not only is that shitty writing, but it’s... really malicious and rude.

Of course then there’s the issues with racial representation. Again, Maas doesn’t even try. She includes 13 characters of color only to immediately kill off all of them in a suicide pact. So there’s that. Not sure I need to say more than that.

Maas knows what diversity is, but as per her famous quote, “I just don’t want to force diversity into my books.” So. Y’know. Writing a black or gay character (or!! God forbid, both black and gay!!) is asking a little too much of her, apparently. She doesn’t want to force anything as unbelievable as someone who isn’t white or straight, don’tcha know? In these books about fae people and dragons and gods fighting mortals and explicit erotica, an LGBT+ character or a character of color is high fantasy, not YA. *Sarcasm*

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Reason 5: The woman can’t write.

This is pretty straightforward. She cannot write. My proof? She plagiarizes the living fuck out of everything she can to avoid actually writing her own original work.

1. “You’re gonna rattle the stars.” - from Disney’s Treasure Planet

2. “The Queen Who Was Promised” - from GRRM’s ASOIAF, where Dany Targaryen is often toted as the exact same thing. Oh, and The Prince Who Was Promised prophecy in ASOIAF also mentions Azor Ahai being “the Heir of Fire” so, uh.... yeah.

3. Aelin basically being Aragorn. Lost royalty spends years as an outcast, denies their claim, teams up with elves (fae in Aelin’s case) to defeat a greater evil, becomes known as the people’s champion, falls in love with an elf (fae) and makes them their consort, crowned by the people, ends their coronation scene with a “you bow to no one” (I’m not kidding).

4. Nehemia dying for Aelin and it later being revealed that Nehemia was “grooming” Aelin to face great evil, and potentially give her life to stop it. How much you wanna bet Maas tried to give Aelin a name as close to “Harry Potter” as she could get?

5. Manon lighting a series of beacons across a mountain range to call for aid during war. I mean seriously? This is one of the most iconic scenes in Peter Jackson’s rendition of Lord of the Rings. It’s moving, it’s powerful, it’s awe-inspiring. And Maas knew it. So she just... took it. I don’t have a lot of respect for writers who can’t write their own moving scenes.

6. Kingsflame blossoms, which only bloom when the rightful monarch is on the throne. So... the White Tree of Gondor. Got it.

7. The Hand of the King being a royal court position. Like... jesus. GRRM, come get ya world-building, SJ stole it again.

8. A paralyzed Chaol has a specialized saddle made for him, because he wants more than anything to ride a horse again. GRRM! Please! She’s taking Bran Stark’s story now!

And besides all of these horribly plagiarized points, there’s nothing even slightly compelling about these books. There’s literally zero substance, and the last few books in both the ACOTAR and ToG series have been nothing but a smut-fest. Plot who? We don’t know her.

Trauma, both physical and mental, is erased at the drop of a dime (Aelin lost physical scars, Chaol’s paralysis was basically cured, series of events that should’ve left characters absolutely fucked just... didn’t phase them). The battles are rushed and sloppily written, and Maas has a particularly nasty habit of focusing on exactly the wrong people in the middle of what should be an action packed scene. Instead of showing alliances forging and plots being made behind people’s backs, instead of showing us people gearing up for battle by saying tearful goodbyes to their infants and spouses, Maas shows us Rowan and Aelin banging on a beach, or a tree, or a ship, or wherever the fuck they happen to be at that moment.

None of these characters lose jack shit. There is no sense of urgency or stakes, because we knew since Heir of Fire that Aelin and her precious uwu fae “mate” would be just fine. Why? Because nobody shipped Rowaelin as hard as Sarah Jane Maas did. Consistently the only people who suffer in these books are background characters (who, coincidentally, are almost always the characters of color and LGBT+ characters). By the end of Kingdom of Ash, literally everyone is fine. And paired off to be married, too! Because a happy ending isn’t a true happy ending if it doesn’t end with Babies Ever After and everyone in a heterosexual relationship, of course, right?

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Reason 6: World-building doesn’t even go here! Sorry, she just wanted to be a part of something.

Maas’ world-building is... how do you say... shitty. New lore pops up in every book, having never been mentioned before, and is for some reason of utmost importance (but only for this book. It’ll be forgotten again as soon as it isn’t relevant). Religions who? Culture where? History what? None of these things exist in Maas’ world. None.

Now before anyone jumps down my throat with “but The World of Throne of Glass is coming out this year!!!1!1!!” let me gently establish something. Speaking as a fantasy author: if you do not have your most basic world-building - that being religion, culture, language, and history - already established, then you have no business making a “world of” book to cover all the bases your ass never bothered with in the original series.

I said what I said.

Tolkien and GRRM are masters of world-building because they spent decades working to forge their worlds before they ever put a pen to paper and wrote their stories. Not to toot my own horn, but my own fantasy series has been developing for almost 7 years now. What am I doing with it? I’m outlining governments in different societies, why people came to worship what they do, and I’m making a fucking world map on my bedroom floor (that now has cat paw prints on it, so it’s not exactly final product material anyway).

I give not a single hoot for Maas’ “The World of Throne of Glass.” She could be saying anything she wanted to and it would all just have to be canon, because she’s establishing what this world is after already finishing her series. Yes, it does piss me off, because it’s pretty obvious she didn’t have a clue what her world was, or who was who, or why things were the way they were. She made shit up as she went along, nothing more. There was no grand scheme. There was no planning, and it shows.

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TL;DR: I have a lot of issues with Sarah J Maas’ writing, including her world-building and handling of diversity. But most of all I despise the potential impact she has on the YA genre and on the young girls reading her work. They deserve better than this. They deserve better than Sarah Jane Maas.

[condemnthem]

i was sent testimony from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. speaking with others involved i can confirm this testimony is credible. this backs up claims others have made about ludo, and shows further his use of “mental illness” as a weapon.

My Testimonial

I’ve been off rp for a little while, but when I heard about this, my first thought was that I have to add additional validity to the things being said about Damien/Ludo. Luckily, I did not receive the worst of it because I shut that shit down almost immediately and Damien has proven to be a scared little chihuahua who acts big but recoils as soon as he’s given a piece of his own bullshit. I’m sure he’ll know exactly who I am, and the only reason I won’t post this publicly is because I honestly do not wish to deal with him harassing any of my socials.

I was in that former RPG with Damien, and if anything, I wanted to shut all assumptions and lies down. Prior to joining, I’d heard plenty of shit regarding said RPG, and after Damien’s departure, I’d come to learn that the people who talk shit about it are just whiny children who are angry they weren’t exceptions to the rules clearly posted.

When I signed the waitlist, Damien approached me with a secret sister role via messages. He came off as very nice, and I was still figuring my character out, so I thought it would be even nicer to come in with an established connection. He connected me to all the right people to talk to, and I was pretty impressed with the welcoming atmosphere right off the bat. He stated the only thing that was set in stone was 1) her place of birth and 2) her profession, and 3) that she was his long lost sister, and that anything else (storyline, additional relationships, playby) were all completely up to me. I don’t like filling roles because I hate being told what to do creative-wise, but he seemed to be pretty open-minded minus trying to sway me away from my playby choices with ugly tattooed chicks.

The first couple of weeks were okay. I realized there were a few people in the RPG that I’d known for a while, and when they realized what my role entailed, they warned me not to let Damien control me, because it was what he did with other people as well as LI’s and that was why certain people hated him within the group. I’d also been informed that he had been banned and snuck back into the group, and it had taken O (I’ll say O for Owner and L for the LI Damien later gaslighted who is now with O) some time before realizing it was him, but let him stay because despite outside opinion by pissy former members, O is actually pretty reasonable.

I tend to be a very bendy person, and don’t like upsetting people around me, so when Damien first started getting pissy if I didn’t answer within two minutes, I tried to be nice and apologize with whatever excuse I had. But I also have a limit when I am being hounded constantly for attention when I had enough to deal with in my real life. I was also aware that one of his LI’s (also a taken role) had left because of his annoying neediness, and that the LI he was with (who I’d become best friends with) was dealing with the same annoying hounding for attention. She tried to be nice about it to not hurt his feelings, and didn’t show me receipts, but the story had become pretty commonplace at that point. I’d also been warned about his need for attention and lack of boundaries. I made it very clear on many occasions that I hate talking about rl, and frankly do not care about what anyone else is dealing with irl because I’m constantly dealing with my own shit. I ALSO suffer from the same disorder as Damien and it has never occurred to me to use that excuse for shitty behavior. If I felt the need to dissociate, I simply disappeared rather than taking it out on others around me.

I really tried to make that role work for me because the character was all mine and I loved her, and mused her pretty hard. Damien started attempting to control my attempts at changing playbys by stating they didn’t look like him (fyi, Hayley Williams, Hannah Pixie, and Dua Lipa don’t look like Yungblud either). He’d get annoyed if I wasn’t around to do blast activities with him. My last straw was when I took a one week hiatus for some stuff I was dealing with irl and was only really speaking to someone I had an almost-LI ship with. Damien CAME at me, asking why I was ignoring him for this person and I lost it, stating that I was on hiatus and didn’t owe him any of my fucking time, and that I hate being hounded for attention. He immediately backed down like the pussy he really is when he realized he couldn’t control me, and apologized saying he has that disorder and abandonment issues. And I very nicely said I didn’t care about that, because it’s none of my business, and that I suffered from the same mental disorder and didn’t take it out on people as a result because I’m an adult.

I decided to leave the group and come back as another character. That was when he was dating L, the person who came forward a few times in the posts below. L and I have some basic stuff in common (musicals, whatever), and we’d fan girl over them in statuses, and Damien would clearly be very pissy about it. When I left the group again, he blocked me everywhere, and then when he saw I was returning yet again, he messaged me saying he was excited and that he was sorry for deleting me because he was “being petty and immature.” I acted like it wasn’t a big deal because I try to be civil with group members to foster a healthy atmosphere, but I wanted to avoid him at all costs because he’s a toxic person. When I approached him with a storyline idea, he said he was capped (he’s never capped because he wants to rope everyone in on his bullshit, but I assumed it was because he secretly hated me, which I was totally cool with because it meant I didn’t have to talk to him) and a few weeks later, he was kicked from the group.

I was still with RPG when he was booted, and everyone of the things the Owner said below is valid. I’d been told by more than one person that Damien would give them shit for something as simple as liking statuses and would try to polarize people from other members of the group. His obsession with staying in that group despite hating it is honestly the dumbest shit ever, and the fact that he allegedly stated for an LI shows how pathetic he really is. But truly, he’d snuck back in despite being banned, so what does that say about him?

He started getting pissy because he wasn’t allowed to do shit that were clearly stated as being against the rules. He kept adding nonsensical, impossible storylines to Damien to focus all the drama on himself. When I joined the first time, Damien was just a baker who’d been abandoned by his mother, and had a serial killer father. By the time he left, he had like, 3 long-lost siblings, was apparently involved in sex trafficking, spent some years in a psych ward, and was also a semi-popular musician despite being confined to the RPG’s town. O is honestly a very understanding owner, but refuses to be taken advantage of, and Damien didn’t like that.

But the catalyst was his harassment of someone via Snapchat for simply liking O’s status or something of that nature. She approached him with this information, and gave him a chance to explain his side, but he avoided her for quite some time (because, as I stated, he’s a little bitch) and when she finally gave him an ultimatum, he came at her stating that she was a shitty owner and everyone hated her, etc. etc. and trying his darned best to make it his mic-drop moment when really he was being an irrational idiot. He was really just mad that O didn’t let him do whatever the hell he wanted, and made it seem like that made her a tyrant. Imagine being in a group and signing rules that have made it work for several years at this point, only to think you are above them.

His current LI in his RPG was a former member of this RPG as his sister role after I left and I’d confided in her the things I’d dealt with, and she seemed to agree that he WAS controlling. Funny that despite this, she chose to follow suit (likely being manipulated by him) and join Ludo’s group anyway. When he made his current group, it was also no secret that he’d give people shit for not leaving RPG for his, despite all the bullshit he spews about being drama-free and not talking poorly about other groups.

I’m happy I never gave Damien my rl information, but I’d seen receipts of him harassing people on rl social media on more than one occasion. The most he did was try to give me a sample of his sub-par music that I didn’t listen to because, as I stated, real life conversation makes me cringe. Every one of the things said below share a common narrative, and I don’t know how anyone can fall for Damien’s bullshit to this day, but whatever.

Damien, do better and stop blaming your issues on your trauma. I’ve tried to become a better person IN SPITE of mine. The way you gaslight and use people is disgusting, and I think it displays issues beyond what life as dealt you.

p.s. I’m sorry if this is kind of all over the place, I sent it via mobile and didn’t look back to fix any typos and such.

xoxo, Someone who didn’t fall for his bullshit. Cheers.

[lovingalexlots]

Throw Back Thursday v.4

This week’s throw back is for a story is “Lazy Days” which I thought would get much more love than it did :/

___________________

Ao3 Link

Posting date: 7-30-19

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 1,211

Relationships: Merthur

Other Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Bliss, Lazy Mornings, Lazy Everything, Merlin is a Little Shit, Arthur is a little shit, they always are...but we love them anyways

PART OF MY DOMESTIC A.F. SERIES

Summary:

Ever since they were kids, it’s been the Winchester tradition to binge watch horrible scary movies on Halloween. Time to get the popcorn ready.

(Fic below cut)

On the off days that the two men have nothing planned --no work, no online orders to fill, no friends pestering to go hang out, and above all, no chores needing done-- they spend the entire day lazing about to enjoy it.

One day like that comes near mid May. It starts off way later than their days normally do. The two of them sleeping in well past their usual 9AM.

Merlin finally stirs to consciousness around 11 (still not that bad, but it’s still sleeping in for his standards). The strip of sunlight coming through their curtains is just barely missing his face, so it shouldn’t have been the light that woke him up. He drags himself closer to wakefulness, trying to figure out what dared to pull him out of dreamland.

...Then there’s a pleasant tug, followed by a tongue to his nipple.

Oh .

That’s what woke him.

Merlin peaks his eyes open and looks down at himself. His gaze doesn’t go far, getting blocked by a bedhead of blonde hair.

Arthur must sense he’s awake because he angles his head so they can meet eyes. The prat sends him a smug look.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbles sleepily.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Arthur throws back, breath hot against Merlin’s damp nipple.

“It looks like you’re waking me up by molesting me in my sleep. I thought I already told you that I don’t want to be woken up that way unless you’re giving me a mind numbing blow job.”

“Well you’re interested either way, aren’t you?” The smug fucker reaches down and gives Merlin’s very interested erection a squeeze.

“Can’t you just let me sleep?”

“No.”

WIth a choked sigh, Merlin lets Arthur continue.

xXxXx

As they lay in the sleepy afterglow of morning sex, Arthur’s stomach makes itself known. Merlin chuckles.

“One of us has to get out of bed to make pancakes and it’s not going to be me, ok? Just go and bring me some nourishment.” Arthur grumbles back.

“Ugh, but I don’t want to… too comfy… kitchen too far…”

Arthur reaches a leg out and pushes Merlin off. It takes a few good kicks, but he’s finally able to push him over the side with a thud and some blankets. Even then, it still takes a few minutes for Merlin to get off the floor and go downstairs to the kitchen.

When he comes back, instead of pancakes, he’s holding a plate that's stacked with Eggo waffles of different kinds. There’s blueberry, strawberry, chocolate chips, and regular,

They eat them in bed, drifting in and out of sleep for a few more hours.

xXxXx

Around 2 in the afternoon, they finally decide to get out of bed. Mainly just because they had a hankering for some mac n cheese and Merlin wanted to continue watching this one show on Netflix.

Merlin pours the noodles into the boiling water and leans back against the counter to wait. Arthur takes this opportunity to crowd the man and start sucking on his neck, right below the mark he had already left there during their earlier escapades.

With a moan, Merlin’s hand comes up to scrape his nails against Arthur’s scalp like the blond likes it while the other one scrapes down Arthur’s back. He picks Merlin up and sits him on the island so they can rut against each other as they dive into a heated kiss.

They separate for air and the blond moves to Merlin’s collar bone. He glances behind Arthur and sees the pot of noodles just as it starts to boil over.

“SHIT!”

He shoves his horny little octopus away and rushes to move the pot to a different burner and turn off the stove. He gives a whiny groan, watching the water settle and what’s left on the burner sizzle away. He glances over his shoulder at his husband.

Arthur’s lips quiver as if he’s holding something in. Then he snorts, letting out restrained chuckles. Merlin can’t help but join in, sending them both into a giggle fit.

It’s random, but it sure felt good. They really needed that after such a busy and stressful week.

The noodles are practically done at that point, so Merlin finishes up the mac n cheese. Splitting the portions into two large bowls before the couple move to the living room.

Arthur takes his usual seat on the left side of the couch while Merlin takes the middle, snuggling up to Arthur’s side as he shoves cheesy noodles into his mouth.

They turn on Netflix and watch some Russian Doll as they stuff their faces.

When the food is gone, they leave the bowls on the coffee table, too lazy to take them to the kitchen. Their positions also change now that their arms are free. Arthur puts one leg up to lay across the couch and leaves one down, letting Merlin lay between his legs. Arms wrapped securely around the blond’s waist and cheek resting on his shirtless chest, Merlin lets out a content sigh.

Arthur absently rubs between Merlin’s shoulders, following the dip of his spine. By the end of the show, Merlin is achingly hard and ready to start humping the damn cushions.

“You’re doing that on purpose,” he grumbles.

“Are you gonna stop me?”

Merlin hates Arthur’s smug tone, but doesn’t move to stop him. Considering that a go-ahead, Arthur gets more bold with his petting.

Let it be known, their couch is amazing sex territory that they use to their advantage quite a few times.

The rest of their day goes about the same. After their shag, they play some video games until dinner.

For dinner, Arthur grills them up nice steaks (the only thing he can cook) and they have a nice little dinner date with just them. They eat in the comfy seating of Merlin’s reading room while talking about nonsensical things for a little bit before moving upstairs to take a shower together.

xXxXx

When they finally tuck themselves into bed, the men are lazily exhausted.

Arthur cracks open one eye and glares at the light streaming in from the bathroom.

Damn it… They forgot to shut it off.

But Arthur was too comfortable to get up.

“Merlin…”

“hmmm?” his husband doesn’t open his eyes or even unstick his face from where it’s shoved into the pillow.

“The light is still on.”

“hmmmmmmmmmm”

“Go turn it off.”

“hmmMMMmmMMMmm”

Arthur nudges Merlin’s head. “C’mon. It’s annoying and I’m too comfortable to get up.”

“I’m comfortable too,” Merlin whines, muffled by the pillow.

“Rock Paper Scissors to see who turns it off?”

Merlin finally speaks above the pillow, sending a skeptical glare at his husband. “You cheat though…”

“You can’t cheat in Rock Paper Scissors!”

“ Fine ,” Merlin whines again, raising his hand in a fist.

At least this time they got a winner within the first two games. With a sigh, Arthur gets up and turns off the light. He makes sure to be extra rough getting back into bed as a pay back to Merlin’s pompous smirk. The smug little prat...

Whatever. Just as long as Arthur gets to wrap around him while they sleep. He always falls asleep the fastest when he’s holding Merlin close.

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) (Chapter 12)

Hey guys! Sorry for the delay I’ve been struggling with mental health this week.  Written with @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Chapter 12

I woke up wrapped in Jax’s arms, and wrapped around Jax. I lift my head off his shoulder to see him awake, and looking at me. “What are you thinking about?”

“How beautiful you are.” Jax responds, rubbing my back.

“Why, thank ya, Jax. I really am sorry about last night.”

“Don’t be, darlin’. Accidents happen. And besides, I was just thinking about how hot you looked, and it made me hard.” He rolled over, so I am on my back, and goes in for a kiss. He holds my hands over my head with one hand, and the other travels down my body.

“Jaaaaaaaxxxxxxx!” I moan when he starts rubbing my clit lightly through my panties, the throb between my legs returning.

“I think it’s my turn to be in control.” Jax murmurs, biting at my neck.

“Wait! We have to get back to help set up for Sophia’s party! What time is it?” I ask, pushing him away and moving to get up.

“Babe! Gemma can handle setup herself, Clay and the guys should be there by now.” Jax gruffs, his want evident by the tent in the covers.

“Jax! We have to hurry. I told Gemma we’d be home by 10:30 and it’s 9:50. We don’t have time.” I reply, moving around the room gathering my clothes from last night before getting clean clothes out and heading to the bathroom.

“You seriously going to leave me like this?”

“You left me like that last night.” I laugh, pushing the door closed and turning on the shower.

“Will I ever live that down?” Jax asks, coming into the bathroom to join me in the shower.

“Nope.” I laugh, rubbing the shampoo in my hair. Jax swats my hands away, taking over, scratching at my scalp with his strong fingers. I let out a sigh at the sensation.

“How many of the guys know what happened last night?” Jax asks, steering me under the water to wash my hair out.

“All of them.” I mutter.

“You told everyone?” Jax asks incredulously.

“I didn’t. Juice walked in on us and told all the guys and then Tig announced that you were stuck because we couldn’t find the key, and that you came too soon to everyone. But if it makes you feel better everyone knows you have a big penis.”

“Yeah and they know that I came before pleasing my lady.”

“I’m sorry! It just slipped.” I exclaim, turning toward him in the shower.

“Uh-huh, sure it did. It had nothing to do with the fact that I pissed you off.”

“It really slipped, Jax. Now finish your shower, we have to go.” I reply, kissing him and climbing out of the shower.

“Well I’m going to need a cold shower to get rid of this.” Jax mutters.

“Then turn on the cold water. Hurry up.” I say, pulling my jeans on.

“Sophia!” I yell, pulling her into a hug. “Happy birthday, baby!”

“Mommy! Daddy! Thank you! I had birthday pancakes!”

“I never got birthday pancakes.” Jax says, looking up at Gemma.

“You never asked for birthday pancakes.” Gemma replies, looking at Jax. “You and your dad both wanted scrambled eggs.”

“True.” Jax laughs, kissing the top of Sophia’s head before standing back up hugging Gemma. “Thanks for keeping the kids last night.”

“We had fun. I heard you guys did too. Little mishap with some keys, and um… some stuff happening too soon.” Gemma laughs, careful of the little ears.

“You heard about that?” Jax asks, his face turning red.

“Oh, baby, everyone knows about that. Gotta be careful. You wouldn’t want an angry, unsatisfied Old Lady on your hands, would ya?” Gemma laughs, moving back toward the kitchen.

“Daddy, what happened too soon?” Sophia asks, looking up at him with her big blue eyes.

“Nothing!” Jax tells, rushing out of the room.

“Mommy, Daddy is weird sometimes.” Sophia says, turning her eyes to me.

“He is!” I bust out laughing, swinging Sophia up in my arms and making my way to the kitchen.

“So, I got the backyard set up with Clay and the guys’ help. You want to help Sophia get dressed, and get dressed yourself while I go pick up the cake? Abel is napping and I’ll have Jax get him dressed.” Gemma says, looking over her party planning list.

“Yeah, Jax needs to get dressed too.” I reply. “Thank you for setting everything up. It really means a lot.”

“Nonsense baby, that’s my granddaughter, of course I’ll help with her birthday. Plus, hopefully soon, you will be my actual daughter.” Gemma smirks, knowing look on her face. I don’t realize what she’s hinting at.

“Alright, Soph, I’m going to go see Abel and then we will go get dressed.”

“Okay, mommy. I’m going to go play with papa.” Sophia responds, running out of the kitchen.

“Were the kids good?” I asks, turning to Gemma.

“Yep, perfect little angels.” Gemma responds. “Don’t tease Jax too much about his little slip up last night. You’ll give him a complex. I heard you were a dominant little thing last night.” Gemma laughs.

“I can’t believe you heard about that.” I laugh, blush covering my cheeks and neck. “I don’t even know where all of that came from honestly, Jax just pissed me off.”

“Hey, it’s always good to try new things in the bedroom and keep your Old Man happy. Sounds like Jax liked it, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“Oh, I’m not sorry for being dominating, it was fun to put him in his place, I’m only sorry that I couldn’t get the cuffs off, and the guys had to find out everything.” I laugh.

“Damn, girl, didn’t know you had it in ya.” Gemma laughs. “But if y’all are going to do that again, may I suggest ties instead of cuffs?”

“What are you two talking about?” Jax asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Oh, you know, just how quick things were over last night.” I bust out laughing at the look on Jax’s face. “Kidding, we were discussing better options than handcuffs.”

“That isn’t any better. She’s my mom.” He shudders.

“Yeah, well your Ma isn’t a prude. Clay and I get up to these kind of thing all the time.” Gemma says, I bust out laughing, Jax fakes like he’s throwing up.

“I didn’t need to know any of that.” Jax groans, pulling away from me.

“I didn’t need to know that my son shoots his load before his lady can either, but here we are.” Gemma retorts. Jax gruffs and storms out of the room. I laugh, shooting a wink at Gemma before following him.

“Jaxy, calm down. She was just joking.” I laugh, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his now naked back.

“I can’t believe everyone knows, I’m literally never going to live it down.” Jax huffs, pulling away from me.

“Baby, don’t be like that.”

“Be like what, Ariana? Mad that you told everyone about our sex life?” Jax scoffs, looking through his clothes, trying to find something nice to wear. I sigh, moving toward him, turning him around to face me.

“I told you it was an accident. Plus don’t you tell the guys about our sex life?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point.”

“It’s exactly the point. I told them about our sex life, and you are mad.”

“You told them that I don’t please you. That is completely different from what I say.”

“Jax, I never said that you didn’t, I said that you know how to use your cock, besides when you come too soon.”

“Same thing.”

“You are acting like such a baby.” I huff, before dropping to my knees and undoing his belt.

“What are you doing?” Jax asks, looking down at me.

“Giving you a blow job, so you will get in a better mood, and shut the fuck up about all of this.” I respond, yanking his pants and boxers down his legs.

“Ari, you… ” Jax breaks off as put him in my mouth, sucking at his tip before working further down, going as far as I can before pulling back and repeating the process. I use my hand to pump what I can’t fit in my mouth. “Shit.” Jax moans, wrapping his hands in my hair, as I feel him harden more in my mouth. I continue the process, reaching down with my free hand to fondle his balls, he lets out a loud moan, thrusting his hips toward me, causing me to gag.

“Shit, sorry.” He pants, pulling my hair into a ponytail in his fist. I speed up my pace, making sure to focus on the head, tasting his precum, I moan around him. He groans, moving my head at the pace he wants before stilling and cumming. I swallow it down, cleaning him up, before I pull away and stand up the throbbing between my legs becoming more pronounced.

“That was fucking amazing.” Jax pants, trying to compose himself.

“I need to go brush my teeth and then find Abel and Sophia. Stop being a whiny bitch today.” I reply, pecking him on the lips making my way to the bathroom, making sure to clench my thighs trying to get some relief.

“Want me to repay the favor?” Jax yells after my retreating form.

“We don’t have time.” I laugh, wishing we did.

“That’s why quickies are a thing.” Jax laughs, following me into the bathroom.

“Fine, but be quick, preferably not as quick as last night though.” I laugh, as Jax rushes to unbutton my jeans, and push them down my legs, bending me over the cabinet.

“Oh, baby, don’t worry, you will be coming this time.” Jax whispers in my ear, before plunging into me and setting a fast pace.

“Hi, baby!” I coo at Abel, picking him up from his bouncer. “I missed you.”

“So did I, little man.” Jax grins, tickling his tummy.

“Daddy! Come play with me!” Sophia says, running up to us.

“Baby, we need to go get dressed.” I tell her, handing Abel to Jax.

“I am dressed mommy, I don’t want to wear a dress if I’m going to get it dirty.”

“Soph, it’s a princess party don’t you want to wear a pretty princess dress?”

“You’re not wearing a princess dress. If you wear one, so will I.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “Let’s go get dressed.”

“Yay! Grandma picked it out, you’re gonna look so pretty Mommy.”

“You little sneak, you had that planned didn’t you?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips.

“No, grandma did.” Sophia laughs, running out of the room. I peck Jax on the lips and kiss Abel’s head before going to follow her.

“I laid his clothes out already. Yours too.” I smile.

“You’re the best.”

“Yeah, I know I am. Make sure you tell Gemma not to expect me to sit properly. I hate wearing dresses.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get her hopes up.”

“Good.” I reply, leaving the room and making my way to Sophia’s room.

“Hey.” Nicole says, walking up to me. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks! Gemma and Sophia picked it out. I hate dresses.” I laugh, adjusting the little purple crown Sophia put on my head.

“Looks nice, who designed it? I hate dresses too. My wonderful husband wouldn’t let me bring alcohol, so I brought a juice box.”

“How rude of him. Jax wouldn’t have let me have a drink anyways, we fought last time. And I designed it. I forgot I even had it, to be honest.”  I respond, running my hands over the maroon, knee length tulle A-Line dress I was wearing.

“At least your knees are together. I cannot sit like a lady to save my life.”

“I learned after I had Sophia. Sitting in business meetings when you feel like your uterus is going to fall out of your asshole is a complete bitch.”

“Don’t I know it! It’s so cool that you designed it. I was looking for a designer for my vow renewal dress, but I wouldn’t want to bother you with it.”

“Nonsense. We can get together later this week and discuss what you want. I’ll send the New York office your preference and have one of my on staff designers make it for you.”

“That would be perfect! Oh, I love you so much! I’m also slightly tipsy, I spiked our juice boxes when Danny wasn’t looking.”

“It’s no biggie, honestly, I seriously miss work and designing things.” I laugh. “I’m going to pass on the juice boxes though.”

“You should design your wedding dress. Are you sure you don’t want a juice box? It’s apple!”

“I already have a design in mind if that ever happens. If I drink, I’ll piss off Jax, and I’m planning on getting laid tonight. Plus its Soph’s special day, I don’t wanna ruin it like I did the playdate.”

“It’ll happen. Jax is already calling you his wife. The guys were teasing Jax about something earlier, a mishap in the bedroom?”

“Oh my god! They brought that up again?”

“Again?”

“Okay, so, Jax and I had a night without the kids, so we stayed at the clubhouse. Well, we got into a fight, and it ended with me dominating him. I tied him to the bed, and made him watch me do things, well when we went to actually fuck, he came so quickly I didn’t even get a chance to get going.”

“Did you lose the key? I’ve done that before, it sucks, I never learned how to pick a lock and he expects me to know.”

“Oh my god! Yes, exactly that! So I had to have one of the guys come in, and uncuff him from the bed. We ended up having to get bolt cutters.”

“He was gay for 10 seconds wasn’t he? Someone had their cock in his face?”

“You are seriously reading my mind right now.”

“Danny got so pissed when I had to have Hector come in and uncuff him.”

“Oh my god. Well, one of them was jammed and I fucked up the other one trying to pick it. I felt so bad.”

“Do you think you and Jax will have anymore kids?”

“We’ve joked about having more kids, but we haven’t fully discussed it yet. I know I don’t want anymore unless we are married.”

“You guys should. Maybe buy a minivan.”

“Fuck no! I will never be caught dead driving a losercruiser.”

“Danny and I are trying for a baby.”

“Wow! That’s great Nicole! You can bring them around for the playdates. I will force our kids to be friends if I have too.”

“I really want a baby that is just ours, ya know? No step parents. I don’t know if it’s going to happen though, we’ve been trying for a while.”

“I feel you. I want the same thing, but, Jax and I do parent Sophia, and I’m the only mom Abel has ever really known.”

“Abel will grow up knowing that you are his mother. With Tommy, he was already 3 when we got married.”

“We will probably tell Abel the truth one day. I am kind of glad Tommy and Sophia got married on the playground. He’s not gonna break up with her on her birthday is he?”

“No, he and Danny went and picked out a promise ring. Jax said it was okay, because they’re only kids.”

“Kids that are going to be forever.” I reply, looking out the window at Tommy and Sophia, sitting under a tree, talking.

“Hey, baby, Gemma wants you.” Jax says, walking up to Nicole and I and planing a kiss on my lips.

“Well, duty calls. Talk here in a bit?” I ask, smiling at Nicole.

“Sure thing. I’m going to go find Danny.”

“He’s by the grill.” Jax says, pulling me along with him.

“Hey, Gem, what’s up?” I ask, still holding Jax’s hand.

“How are we wanting to do the cake?”

“We can have her sit at the patio table.” I suggest.

“That works. We should do presents first.” Jax suggests, excited for her to get her gift from him.

“You just want her to open your gift, so you guys can play with it.” I laugh. “I think we should do the dress up portion of the party, and then gifts, and then cake.”

“Sounds good.”

“Nicole and I finished setting up the dress-up area. So it’s all ready to go.”

“Jax, you gather the ones who want to dress up, and we will go get things finished up.”

“Okay.” Jax kisses my cheek and heads to Sophia, while Gemma and I make our way outside and over to the table we set up on the side of the house.

“Alright, here we come!” Jax shouts, carrying Sophia, the guys trailing behind him, Sophia’s little friends with them.

“Are all of you wanting dressed up?” I laugh.

“Yes, mommy, they want to be pretty princesses, I begged.”

“We aren’t late are we?” Opie asks, coming through the back door with Lyla, Kenny, and Ellie.

“Not at all.” I smile, hugging the kids. “Kenny! Ellie! How are you guys?”

“Hi, I’m Lyla.” A blond lady holds her hand out to me, her son hiding behind her legs.

“Ariana. My friends call me Ari. Nice to meet you.” I reply, shaking her hand. “Y’all wanting to become princesses today? Apparently my daughter decided everyone was being princesses.”

“Even Happy? Piney? How’d they get roped in?”

“Sophia begged. Actually I think with these guys, she just has to widen her eyes and pout a bit, and they become putty.”

“Daddy, come with me.” Ellie says, looking up at him. “I want to be a princess too.”

“Okay, baby. Lyla, you coming?” Opie asks, holding his hand out to her.

“Nah. I think I’m gonna stay here. Chat with Ariana a bit. If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Opie smiles, pecking her on the cheek, making his way to where Gemma was helping Clay put on a pretty princess dress. Opie laughing shaking his head, as Jax tries to get him to put on a green dress, before finally giving in.

“So, y’all used to date?” Lyla asks.

“A long time ago. I really don’t know how it happened, but we weren’t together long.”

“You guys?”

“Jax and I?”

“Yeah, it’s clear he loves you. How do handle it? The club stuff?”

“I love this club, these men have been my family for my entire life. I take it in stride. I know Jax would never do anything to hurt me or Sophia or Abel.”

“Your entire life?” Lyla asks, looking at me like she doesn’t understand.

“My dad was one of the first 9. I grew up with the club. Gemma and Clay took me in after my dad dies when my mom ran off.”

“You’re joking? Did you know JT?”

“Yep, he was like a dad to me. He was my dad’s best friend, like Jax and Opie.”

“I couldn’t imagine that. Are we gonna fight? Are we good? Friends? I just, I want to some club friends. I can’t do this myself.” Lyla says.

“Oh, god no! We aren’t going to fight. Of course we can be friends. I’m happy Opie found you, without all of the crap, him and Jax can get back to being friends. Jax misses him, even if he won’t admit it.”

“I hope Jax and Opie become friends again. Maybe Opie won’t be as grumpy. I can tell he misses him.”

“Oh, honey, Opie has been grumpy since birth.” I laugh.

“I know, but this is a different grumpy. Like someone kicked his puppy, but he’s a man so he can’t cry about it, grumpy.

“I’m sure by the end of the night, they will be thick as thieves again” .

“I hope so. Anything I can do to help?”

“Put some makeup on some kids with me?”

“You got it.”

“Thank you so much. I don’t know how she has this many friends. Charming is such a small town.” I said once we got back inside.

“You’re covered in it, Ari.”

“So are you.”

“So are the boys.” Lyla says, pointing out the window.

“Lyla, do you wanna come hang out? I spend most of my time here, with Abel. Don’t get me wrong I love him. But with Clay, Jax, and Gemma all working, and Sophia in school, it feels like all I have are the damned birds sometimes.”

“I’d love that!”

“Great! You know that top looks familiar.” I say, looking at the shirt.

“I bought it at this cute boutique in New York like years ago, I forgot I had it until Opie said I had to dress nice.”

“Oh, my, god! It’s from the spring 2010 collection.”

“D by A right?”

“Yeah! That’s my boutique! You must have gotten it before I started my expansion.”

“This top got me through my pregnancy.”

“Same, I designed while I was pregnant with Sophia with mothers in mind.”

“You are a creative genius!”

“Maybe you can model some of my pieces, pre production?”

“Oh my god that would be amazing!”

“Great! I like to make my edits, but it is hard to do it when I’m wearing them myself. I always get pricked.”

“This will be so much fun!” Lyla squeals.

“I actually have a piece I’m working on, wanna try it on? For the princess party?”

“I would love too!”

“Sweet, let me tell Jax that we are running upstairs and then we can go get it.”

“Okay.”

“So what do you think? You feel like a princess? Ready to join the party?”

“Fucking love it!” Lyla yells.

“I’m so glad you like it! It goes into production in a few months. I need to make some final edits. I think maybe a bit more body, and a bit of extra beading!”

“I’m gonna have to buy it.”

“Girl, you can keep that one!”

“OMG!” Lyla squeals, hugging me.

“It’s not dry clean only. I got something that was dry clean only so dirty, I thought I ruined it, and I couldn’t afford to get it cleaned. I wanted people to be able to have nice things, universal items they can wear. Clothing, for the working mom, that you can toss in the washer. Not all can be put in the dryer though. You can hang it to dry, and It should be fine in about 24 hours, as long as all the soap is out. I usually suggest to wash dresses like this twice, once with soap, and once in just water.”

“I can do that.” Lyla says.

“We better get back down there.”

“Yeah, they are probably lost without you.” Lyla laughs.

“I know Jax is. He probably would live off hot pockets if it wasn’t for me and Gemma.”

“Ariana!” Jax yells from the bottom of the stairs.

“What?” I yell back.,

“Come out here, I miss you!”

“Did someone break something?”

“Maybe.”

“Who and what?” I ask, coming down the stairs with Lyla a few steps behind me.

“Happy. He broke your moms old vase.”

“The one my dad got for my mom as a last stitch effort to get her to stop using?”

“That’s the one.”

“Oh, well. Just clean it up.”

“Okay, baby, come give me a kiss.”

“Clean it up before one of the kids gets hurt, Jax.”

“Fine, I’ll kiss you tonight in places that aren’t acceptable to do kiss in public.”

“You little shit. Lyla is up here with me.”

“Hey, Lyla. Ariana, you know you love me, darlin’.”

“I do.” I laugh.

“MOMMY!!!”

“If Sophia got hurt, Jax, I’m going to kill you. I told you to clean it up.”

“I didn’t get hurt, but Tommy did.” Sophia says, coming to the bottom of the stairs.

“Thank you for letting us know Sophia. Your daddy will be right there.”

“Okay, mommy.”

“Jax I told you to go clean it up.” “I was going.” Jax replies.

“You should have cleaned it up then told me about it later.”

“I thought you’d want to know. I know it was one of the last things you have left of your dads.”

“You’re really not helping Jax. I know it was, but there’s nothing I can do to get it back.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Lyla and I walk back outside, the guys chasing the kids around in little princess dresses, the kids screaming and running, and everyone having a good time. I sigh taking in my slice of happiness, thankful that I came back.

“Whatcha thinkin about, darlin’?” Jax asks, coming back from cleaning up the glass and wrapping his arms around me, nuzzling in my neck.

“How glad I am that I came back to you, and how happy you make me.” I smile, turning my head to catch his lips with mine.

“Daddy!” Sophia says, running up to us after we sat down. “What’s a penis?” I nearly spit out my drink.

“What!?” Jax tells.

“A penis daddy. I don’t know what it is but Tiggy was talking about how yours was malfunctsunctioning.” Sophia says, mispronouncing it incorrectly.

“It’s something that boys have, darlin’.”

“Can I have one daddy?”

“No, you see, it’s genetic.”

“I don’t care if it’s a genie daddy, I want a penis.”

“Baby, it’s genetic, not genie. You have to be born with it.”

“Can I have one?”

“Darlin’ I hate to tell you this, and hopefully it’s the only time I ever do, but no, you can’t. Abel and I and your uncles have them, because we were born with them.”

“Can I see yours? I want to know what they look like.” Sophia smiles, batting her lashes.

“Absolutely never ever. Maybe when you are as old as you mother, and you have a boyfriend.”

“But I’m married daddy.”

“Then in 10 to 12 years I’m sure you will see one.”

“Will I see yours daddy? Can I see Tommy’s?”

“NO!” Jax yells.

“Don’t be mean daddy.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’ you’re just too little. Plus you don’t look at daddy’s, darlin’.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s morally unacceptable, and daddy could go to jail. Do you want daddy to go to jail?”

“I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”

“Baby, that’s not how that works. I do love you baby.”

“If you loved me, you’d show me. Uncle Tiggy said it was big. Like OH MY GOD big.”

“Baby, only mommy can see that. You aren’t supposed to see that, or talk about that.” I say, reaching down to her as Jax fumes at Tig.

“How come only you get to see it, mommy?”

“Because Daddy is my Old Man.”

“Yeah, he is old. Can I play now? I want Tommy to play dinosaurs with me.”

“Yeah, go play.”

“Tommy! Can I see your penis?” Sophia yells, running back to him.

“SOPHIA JACQUELINE TELLER!!!!” Jax yells, rushing after her.

“Daddy!!!” Sophia says, almost falling but regaining her footing to run and hide behind Uncle Chibs.

“Tig, you and I got beef man.” Jax sneers.

“What did I do?” Tig asks.

“Told my daughter about penis!”

“Nuh-uh. I didn’t tell her, she just happened to be in hearing range.”

“Not the fucking point man.”

“Daddy!” Sophia says coming out of hiding. “Am I in trouble?”

“No baby, Tiggy is.”

“You yelled at me. Darren used to yell at me, and then when I would run away, he would lock me in the bathroom until mommy came home.” Sophia whines.

“Darlin, you ain’t in any trouble.” Jax says.

“But you yelled at me.” Sophia says, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Phia, listen to me.” Jax says, getting down in her level. “I yelled because I was mad at uncle Tiggy. You didn’t do anything wrong. Princesses don’t cry on their birthdays. Please don’t cry, you’re not in trouble.”

“Daddy, I’m not a real princess. It’s pretend.”

“Yes you are. You’re my little princess. Always will be. And if anyone treats you like less than that, you let me know.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Sophia smiles, running to play with Tommy.

“I will kill you when she isn’t looking.” Jax says, walking away from Tig and making his way back toward me.

“How’d it go, babe?”

“Well, Sophia told everyone that Darren used to lock her in a bathroom after he yelled at her.”

“Jax, I came back the other day, and I couldn’t find Sophia. I was freaking out, and I thought something had happened. She had spilled her fruit punch on the floor in the kitchen. She cleaned it up, as best as her now 6 year old self could, and went and sat in the bathroom because she thought I would be mad at her.”

“I thought she was getting better.”

“She is, Jax. But there are some things that just can’t be changed. She needs to know that she doesn’t have to go to the bathroom when she’s in trouble. She can go to her bedroom. She can tell us what she did wrong, or she can keep it a secret.”

“I’m still afraid I won’t be able to put all her pieces back together. Or yours, you both are still pretty broken.” He says, resting a gentle hand on my cheek.

“We are both doing better, Jax.” I sigh, and grab his hand in mine. “Things like this just take time, and that’s not always something we have a lot of. You missed the first five years of her life. I’ll be damned if you miss another day.”

“I ain’t leaving, either of you, willingly that is.” Jax says, pressing his lips to mine for a brief second.

“Sophia! Present time!” I yell.

“Coming!” Sophia yells, running up to my legs.

“Sophia, open mine first.” Jax says to the excited little girl.

“Okay daddy.”

“Jax?” I ask. “What did you get her?”

“It’s inside. Clay’s office.”

“Go get it then.”

“I will.” Jax laughs, heading off to get the gift “Here you go!” He shouts, returning with a box the size of Mount Rushmore.

“What is it Daddy?”

“Open it and see.”

“It’s so pretty, Daddy!”

“What is it?” I ask, trying to catch a peak.

“It’s a motorcycle, mommy, just like daddy’s, but it’s purple.”

“It’s battery powered.” Jax mumbles to me.

“Jax, she can’t even ride a bike. Are you gonna help her?”

“She doesn’t need help babe. All she has to do is push the button and hold on.”

“Oh, it’s like the Barbie Jeep she had!” I exclaim, finally realizing what it is.

“You can be a blond sometimes.” Jax laughs.

“I love it daddy!” Sophia exclaims, hugging Jax’s legs.

“Good! I’m glad you love it! Now open the rest of your presents!”

“Jax, I might act like a blonde sometimes, but you love me.”

“Yes I do. And Sophia too. Now that I’ve had you, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Jax, do you think maybe later we could talk about something?”

“Of course. Anything, darlin’, you know I’m a sucker for a pretty face.” Jax smiles, pulling me into him.

“Oh hush.” I laugh, pushing him away from me while watching Sophia open her gifts.

“Mommy, look!” Sophia exclaims. “It’s the princess crown I wanted!”

“That’s great, baby!”

“Open mine next.” Tommy says, handing her a small box, with a dinosaur bandaid on the palm of his hand.

“It’s so pretty, Tommy!” Sophia gushes.

“I hoped you like it. I thought of you when I saw it.”

“Jax, that’s so cute.” I said, holding his hand and looking up at him.

“I know.” He said, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around my waist. “I like this Tommy kid. As long as he doesn’t hurt her.”

“Look at you, being all dad like, and sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

“It’s okay baby, everyone knows you are softie under all that muscle and stupidity.” I laugh. Jax pulls me tighter.

“Well at least you noticed I’ve been hitting the gym more.”

“Have you? I didn’t notice?”

“Babe.”

“I’m just saying, I didn’t notice you hitting the gym. I guess I haven’t had a reason too. Maybe tonight you can show me how much stronger you are.” I wink at him.

“I can do more than that.” He smirks.

“Counting on it, baby.”

“Mommy! I love you so much.”

“What did you break, baby?”

“Nothing, I just love you. You’re the best mom ever!” Sophia says, hugging my legs.

“You’re the best daughter ever, Sophia.”

“I love Abel, but I want a little sister to play princesses with me.”

“Woah, slow down there Phia. Mommy and I aren’t ready to have more kids. We have you and Abel, and that’s enough for us right now.” Jax cuts in.

“Daddy, what do you have to do with mommy having a baby?” Sophia asks confused.

“Daddy’s help Mommy’s have babies.” I reply, laughing at Jax’s expression.

“How?” Sophia asks.

“Ask me again in a couple years.” I laugh.

“Does it have to do with his penis?” She asks, looking at Jax.

“I am going to KILL your uncle Tig.” Jax says, looking toward Tig.

“Sophia, why don’t you go play with Tommy before he has to leave.”

“He can come back, right?”

“Of course, now go play.” I tell her.

“Well, we know what to get her for her birthday next year.” Jax says, smirking at me.

“A penis?” I ask, frown on my face, confusion evident.

“A SISTER!”

“OHHHHH!”

“I worry about you sometimes, babe. You act more blond than me.”

“Shut up.” I laugh, pushing him.

“You love me, and you know it,”

“Hmmmm I don’t know. Sometimes it’s really forced.”

“Babe.”

“Kidding, kidding, geeze sensitive much?”

“You better be fucking kidding. That shit ain’t funny.”

“I love you….. sometimes.” I laugh.

“Ariana.”

“Jackson.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“I think it’s time to start sending her friends home. The guys can stay and help clean up.”

“Good idea. I’ll go call parents.” I say, walking over to Gemma.

“I’ll let the guys know.”

“Hey, Gem! Wanna help me call parents?” I ask, walking up to her.

“I would love nothing more than to get these kids out of my house so I can clean up.”

“I feel ya.” I laugh, we make our way into the kitchen.

“That’s the last kid.” I say, making my way toward the couch. “How is there this many kids in her Kindergarten?”

“I don’t know, but she’s as charismatic as her daddy.”

“What did she get from me, Jax? My dashing good looks?”

“God I hope not.” Jax says, instantly regretting his words.

“Jackson, that was rude. I should make you sleep on the couch.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I mean if she looks anything like you when she grows up I’m going to have to beat the guys off with a stick.”

“Nice save.” I scoff.

“Or a semi automatic weapon.” Jax laughs. “You know you are gorgeous baby.”

“Aren’t those illegal, Jax?”

“Shhhhh. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Your secrets safe with me. Wanna head to bed? I am beyond tired.”

“Fuck yes I do!” Jax exclaims, pulling me up with him.

“Jax, would you consider moving?” I ask from the bathroom, taking off my makeup.

“What do ya mean? Like moving back to my place?”

“No, like buying a different house. We need more room, Jax. Plus I don’t want to stay in the house where I killed a man. What if a few of the guys need a place to stay? We just don’t have the room.” I say, coming out of the bathroom, Jax laying shirtless on the bed.

“Anything you want, darlin’.”

“Then can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“I want one more kid, but I want to wait a bit. Maybe when Abel is older.”

“Baby I’ll give you as many kids as you want. There is nothing I love more than raising kids with you.”

“Good. Now finish what you started this morning.”

“Oh baby it’d be my pleasure.” Jax smirks, pulling me into the bed with him.

Tag list: @gemini0410 @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt @spnhollis @jaxteller87 @melissataggart87 @stylesismyhubs @hismissharley13 @rahdaleigh @chrmdnbeautiful @innerpaperexpertcloud @emmaveale123

[pepperpixel]

ventinggg belowwwww

i fucking.... hate being alive, and yet i’m terrified of dying. so like, what a fucking wonderful existence i lead..... ugHHHHHHHH..

like.... i haven’t had a panic attack for almost half a year now but theres this ever present stress that i feel every day. somedays i can ignore it, and i can almost forget its there and some days i rlly fucking can’t. and i’ve had more thoughts of actual legit cutting myself and ending my life self harm recently then i’ve had in my entire fucking life. (i used to self harm but it was just hitting myself rlly hard. i was too scared to ever cut myself, and i still am. but i still don’t rlly think its great to be thinking about it this often, even if i know i’d never do it)

like... i feel like i should be over this, like i should just be fine. i went to therapy for like, a whole year last year. and i got a lot better from where i was at before. like i stopped self harming and i stopped having panic attacks. and im generally leading a way better life now. one i enjoy a lot more often then i used to. so its rlly fucking hard for me to even admit when im not ok now cuz i feel like i should be fine, and that, by not being fine im letting down everyone who cares about me, and wants me to be ok. and thinks i am ok cuz i don’t fucking talk about my feelings anymore to people. cuz i feel like there’s no reason for me to be feeling them.

cuz like??? shits not even that bad!!! like in my life things are fine! i have an s/o who i love. i have plans to get a drivers licence, and then a bank account. and then i can start selling my art and stuff online. i have friends. i have an idea as to how im going to get a job. and i know im not going to college. but i genuinely think thats the best choice for me personally. looking at everything laid out i don’t think im gonna be a fuck up. but my brain keeps telling me im gonna let everybody down. that im just gonna stay in the house. that im a disappointment. even though i know i won’t be i can’t stop stressing out over my future.

and i can’t even talk to anybody about it because i just keep fucking thinking that im just being whiny, or that i shouldn’t bother others about it. or that like. if i say something to them there gonna think im expecting them to find a way to help me when im not. cuz i know they can’t and i don’t expect that, i just wanna. talk about it. get it off my chest. but im so scared of being a downer or annoying. or of stressing them out with my shit.. 

like.. the only reason im even talking about it here is cuz it feels more like yelling into the void than forcing somebody to pay attention to me, and to listen to my nonsense. like. ur all strangers so its less stressful. im supposed to be ok for the people in my real life tho. im supposed to be over this. its honestly taken me so long to even convince myself i wasn’t ok. i just kept ignoring it. cuz i wasn’t having panic attacks. and i’ve been managing to (sorta) keep up with my hygiene, so i should just be fine! cuz those we’re the big issues and im kind of sort of over them now, so everything should be ok! but its not. and i fucking hate it....

i’ve managed to talk to my grandma about trying to get me with a therapist again. but i don’t think she’s rlly taking it seriously, cuz i sorta downplayed how i was feeling. cuz i don’t want her to think any less of me, and cuz i can’t even rlly make up my own mind on whether or not i even need a therapist again. even tho im obviously not ok. its still just hard to admit it, idk tho man.... i just needed to talk about stuff. and i can’t work up the courage to talk to ppl who actually kno me.. srry for getting all serious out of the blue tho. i kno i haven’t rlly ever talked about stuff like this on here, i just sorta wanted to get it off my chest.

[dukeofriven]

Hussie, Hitler, And Boy I’m Tired

I said earlier that I didn’t want to put on my hip waders and muck about in the Homestuck tags. *pulls off hip waders* I went anyways. I went even though I was feeling pretty good because I had a nice dinner and got to watch the New Years Bake-Off special. I went anyways, and I did it for you, my eight followers who aren’t pornbots. It turns out the Homestuck fandom of Tumblr is as scary and hyperbolic as ever, and has taken one lousy bit of badly written crap and extrapolated that backwards into ‘Homestuck has always been a racist anti-semetic pile of garbage and everything about it is terrible and Andrew Hussie needs to die.” I’m not paraphrasing, by the way. Someone out there is chanting ‘die Andrew Hussie die,’ because he had the gall to... clumsily dunk on Hitler like a fifteen year old trying to impress his English teacher with edgy comedy? This new stuff is too dumb to be offensive, especially in an era with, y’know, Hitler-praising alt-right Neo Nazis actually being mainstream media figures.  Hey Tumblr fandom? Can you... mm not chill, chill’s not the word I’m looking for what is it... oh yes. Can y’all fuck off for once?

Tumblr doesn’t deserve to enjoy things because it doesn’t know how to enjoy things responsibly. It lurches from adoration to hatred without pause, and as a writer it gives me nothing but an anxiety. I cannot produce anything imperfect, I cannot ever write crap because if I do then all my work will be tainted by it forever. On Tumblr you are always judged by your worst effort, which is a fucking god-awful standard for large media franchises of any kind. You know who one of the greatest, most thoughtful, socially-driven authors of the twentieth century was? Terry Pratchett. You know what’s kind of sexist and lazy and awful? The Colour of Magic. You know what’s weirdly colonialist and smug and all-around shit? Snuff! Neither of those shitty books invalidate the forty other Discworld novels. The existence of Anchorman’s bloviating nothingness doesn’t erase Will Ferrel’s warm and desperately human performance in Stranger Than Fiction. The Forced Kiss Equal Romance kiss in Blade Runner doesn’t erase the rest of the movie piercing question on the nature of what it means to be human. And on and on and on. Andrew Hussie’s sneeze-shart dogshit history rewrite that was so embarrassingly bad it got pulled from the internet didn’t erase Rose/Kanaya, or gay Dave, or Joey Claire tap-dancing her little heart out to try and defeat a monster. And even if Andrew Hussie does a JK Rowling and produces nothing but ill-thought-out crap from here until the day we all die in the great Disney Final Merger of 2023, it still won’t invalidate the good moments that made you happy. I mean if Andrew Hussie toddles out of retirement onto a talk show in a bathrobe to discuss his new revelations on the Puppetgrandmasters of Scion who all have worryingly Semetic names, I’m not going to be so naive as to pretend that his earlier media can be consumed in some kind of vacuum, that the future cannot affect the past. but I am saying that the good that happened in it - the things that affected you in positive ways - are not ethereal. It mattered to you then, and that’s okay. Tumblr’s hyperbolic responses seem to be rooted in embarrassment and self-flagellation. People seem so terrified by the thought that anyone might associate them as a fan of something - gasp - linked to controversy that they... well, they say shit like “die andrew hussie die.” Hey dude. Hey. You need to redirect that anger, my friend. There’s actual Neo-Nazis in the streets. On the TV. In the US government. I guess what I’m trying to say is... Woof. Okay. You know, to give Andrew Hussie partial credit here, its nice to see someone actually write Adolf Hitler the way he really was - a pant-shitting constantly whiny toddler of a human being who endlessly threw tantrums and got to where he was largely on the strength of other people’s bad decisions. Remember kids: the biggest myth Neo-Nazis have ever perpetrated is that Germany under Hitler was well-run, well-organized, and anything other than a collection of squabbling dysfunctional fiefdoms run by party hacks propped up by a bureaucracy and military too bound by inertia, ego, and cultural racism to do anything to stop a lunatic from ripping their country to shreds. That whole ‘trains running on time’ thing? It’s nonsense. Go study the conduct of the war once Germany had exhausted all its pre-war stockpiled resources and ran out of useful shit to loot, once it had to start relying on its leadership for the things that make wars winnable - supplies, reinforcements, fuel, winter clothing. Watch the way from 1942 onwards Germany stumbled from one disaster to the next, as Hitler fired more and more generals and drew more and more authority to himself and his fellow party cronies. Hitler should not be feared as a man of competence or skill - he was a buffoon, a clown of a human being fuelled entirely by petty, vindictive spite and an unlimited capacity for cruelty. And before anyone goes ‘well if he was so objectively pathetic how the fuck did he take over Germany’ I direct you to google the last two years of American politics and the words ‘Donald Fucking Trump.’ [I recommend, on these war subjects particularly, Sir Antony Beevor’s bleak and sobering works, particularly Stalingrad, Berlin: The Downfall 1945, and Ardennes 1944: Hitler's Last Gamble.]  Sorry this... kind of got away from me somewhat, but I really hate it when people get mad that someone didn’t take Hitler seriously (and, to be strictly fair, this is not what everyone is mad about in regards to Andrew Hussie, either). You should never take Hitler seriously. Take hate seriously - take violent words, and calls for purity, take his ideas of superiority and racial preeminence and anti-semitism seriously as the evils, the horrors as they are. But the man himself? He literally stank - a combination of his halitosis, chronic flatulence, and was constant diarrhea. [I am not exaggerating] He was a sad pathetic clown, and Andrew Hussie chose to write him as such. He just... went too far. It happens. It’s not good writing. It’s fucking shit, to be honest. Boring shit. The Minions movie decided to have the Minions sit out the entirety of WWII by having them get stuck in a cave or some such. Honestly that’s a better option than what Andrew Hussie went with - and ‘be more like the Minions movie’ isn’t advice I give that often. You want to be disgruntled that an author wrote something this bafflingly tone deaf and tedious? Sure. I know I am. But to chant for his death? Are you fucking kidding me? Look! Look out your window at those marching Neo-Nazis trying to establish a white supremacist state? What the ever-loving fuck are you people doing in here getting ready to string-up a man whose crime was making Adolf Friggen Hitler too petty???????? Tumblr. Tumblr, for the love of god this has to stop. This ‘Ceasar’s wife must be above reproach’ shit has to stop - it’s killing fandom, it’s killing good media critique, it’s burying proportional fan response, and its just exhausting. Why can’t you ever just let something be lousy without it being literal death warrant? There’s real demons out there - I can see them out the window, and every time I turn on the TV. Maybe - just bloody maybe - not every single crime deserves the exact same level of disapprobation and punishment? Maybe we could read some content and say “boy that sure had some lousy implications and also was just really poorly written” and then... stop there? Wouldn’t that be nice, for a change? We could dislike something without feeling like it required activism on our part. We could say ‘this piece of media was shit, but it didn’t advocate for a white ethno-state, so I will continue to think of it only until the end of this sentence.’ I am not advocating for an end to media criticism for anything that isn’t openly hate speech (but if you think that I am I am going to assume you’re already so needlessly enraged about this whole matter that I’m a bit puzzled why you’ve bothered to read this far since its obvious we don’t agree on many fundamental issues.) What I am calling for is the end to death threats against people who don’t mean you harm. Because that’s lunacy. That’s beyond the pale, actually, that’s really disturbing and sickening and you should seriously reconsider your relationship with media. Because there are people out there who do want to hurt you. Their lives are fuelled by hate, their philosophies are driven by it, as are their politics. I assure you that when a time traveller steps through a portal trying to prevent the rise of ‘the great Trump War of 2020′ the inciting incident will not be ‘Andrew Hussie trivialized the holocaust by citing its origins as a grudge Adolf Hitler bore Albert Einstein over a rivalry in secret clown ninja school before being taken on as an agent of a baking-obsessed alien space witch and bumped into power by the Peters principle.’ Because just by writing that sentence I have already reaffirmed a very simple truth: this is way, way too stupid to give the slightest shit about. So let’s tell Andrew Hussie that his new work is... mmm.... kind of like a shit if a shit had a shit that was itself shat out by a shit and then vomited on by another shit who had eaten nothing but shit since Sunday. Let’s tel lhim “hey dude, your clownish work summoned the spectre of anti-semetism, and you can do better.” Frankly, I think that message was already sent, since in the two hours between me going to make and eat dinner and then coming back to my computer, the new material was discovered, read, disseminated, and removed. Two hours. Sure, maybe a bit of lag due to what does and does not hit my feed but come on - this all took place in an afternoon. It’s already down. Our voices were heard - we didn’t think this was very good, and apparently Whatpumpkin agrees enough that they didn’t mount a defence of it. Rather than take the next logical step, though - which seems to be calling for the death of Andrew Hussie and removing all of Homestuck from the internet and maybe nuking Toby Fox from orbit just to be extra-sure? - we could do... something else. Talk about the release date for Stranger Things, maybe. Track down some local Neo-Nazis and punch them. Read some Antony Beevor books and really educate ourselves on what a smelly fuck-up Hitler was so we can chant that at Neo Nazis at their next rally. Or you could watch the New Years Bake-Off special. It was pretty good.

[snaggle-chamsae]

I’m yours | Seongwoo

genre: fluff 

member: seongwoo 

requested: yes!

summary: after knowing seongwoo is your bestfriend’s boyfriend, you lost hope in love and kept satisfying everyone else’s need just to ignore your feelings for seongwoo.

side note: I’m really really sorry for making this anon wait because I wanted to write a good plot for this so I really do hope this meets your expectations! 💗 I honestly don’t know if this is messy but do let me know about your thoughts :>

out of so many years of school, you only have one best friend 

yoojung

and to you, having her is more than enough 

she’s like the only friend you need to survive 

you guys basically grew up together since young as neighbours

and even though she moved away, you guys somehow still got into the same school and the same class

when you saw yoojung in the same class as you, you literally got a shock 

her puberty got hit by a truck because she changed 360 

you couldn’t recognize her at first until she squealed 

which is something she always do 

when you guys catch up, you got to know how her parents are doing

you also noticed how her personality changed

from someone who is really shy to someone who is really outgoing 

just when you guys got closer in school, you guys had to split class 

because the school had this system where you have to split class based on your choice of subject

you chose biology while yoojung chose physics

this means saying goodbye :(

and that kinda sucks because you can’t function well without her 

because you’re an introvert and you rely on her a lot 

that being said so, you guys still maintain a close relationship 

but just that you don’t see each other as much 

so one day after you finished extra class, you caught yoojung and seongwoo, one of the guys in her class talking

it caught you off guard because you don’t remember her being close to seongwoo 

nonetheless, you called her and told her it’s time to go home 

but she stopped you 

“y/n.... I wanna tell you something that I have been keeping as a secret”

and you’re what??? secrets??

“seongwoo is my boyfriend” she blushed as she confessed

“omg are you serious? I’m so happy for you!” you hugged her out of natural response while seongwoo laughs at the both of us 

“aren’t you angry for not telling you?” 

“why should i be! I’m really happy for you” you smiled at her 

after telling you this secret, the three of you started hanging out with each other

just like best friends 

and just within a short span of 1 month, you got to know a lot more about seongwoo

he used to be in your class but you guys are just merely acquaintance

so you know nothing about him

except the fact that he is the famous ong

anyways 

you’re happy that yoojung and seongwoo are a couple together

they look really suited for each other

but there are also times where you kind of feel jealous but you never told anyone especially yoojung

looking at how lovely yoojung treats seongwoo

and how seongwoo would always give in to yoojung

makes you jealous because you have never fallen in love 

as you always hang out with them, you always notice about seongwoo more 

and the fact that he is purely made out of boyfriend material makes you go crazyyyy for him

you know you really shouldn’t be thinking about seongwoo all the time but your thoughts would always involve him

you told yourself not to be in love with him but you just can’t stop this strong feeling

whenever you hang out with them, you tried to be cautious and not let either seongwoo or yoojung catch you 

because you definitely do not have the heart to break them apart

now that you have fallen for seongwoo, everything is just crazy 

until one day where yoojung approached you

“y/n! y/n! I THINK I NEED HELP” 

you though it is some kind of emergency but turns out to be something ridiculous 

“the thing is that I’m going out on a date with seongwoo and the problem is.... I haven’t finished my physics homework! could you help me with it?” she plead you 

“a-alright” 

why did you even say yes 

you mentally scold yourself because one, just because she mentioned seongwoo doesn’t mean you have to say yes and two, how the fuck are you gonna do physics? 

so that night, you gotten yourself into deep shit

because you had to flip through the textbook just to find answers for 1 question

oh god 

thankfully, you finished it fast and returned it to yoojung

hold up mate

you thought that is the first and last time you’re doing that? 

YOU’RE SO WRONG BOI

yoojung started relying on you more and more often and always use that ‘going on a date with seongwoo’ as an excuse

you hated how you would go so soft for seongwoo

and all the more, yoojung’s attitude is kind of getting on your nerves

she isn’t the same like the past because she has gotten a lot more whiny?

you are so so tempted to complain to seongwoo but you just didn’t wanna damage the image he has of yoojung 

so you hold it all in 

until one day, seongwoo texted you 

you almost dropped your phone because he actually asked you for help in math 

he had texted you before but this is the first time he asked you for help 

and thank god you’re a genius at math so you agreed

and he also asked you if it’s okay to teach him at your house because he didn’t want to let yoojung misunderstand 

you didn’t know if it’s a good idea but who cares

ONG SEONGWOO IS COMING TO YOUR HOUSE 

the moment you heard your doorbell rang, your heart started racing like mad

“h-hey seongwoo” you smiled 

you showed him to your room and you guys started studying 

honestly, you never expected that seongwoo would have so many questions

and in between all those questions, you guys talked

and you started to feel a lot more comfortable as compared to when yoojung is around 

after answering all of his questions, you gave him more practice questions since he said that there is a test coming up 

and when he is attempting those questions, you didn’t want to give him pressure so you decided to take a nap 

just then, you felt someone shaking you up and you kind of lost track of time that you didn’t realize seongwoo is still here 

“I’m sorry, y/n. you must be tired and you still agreed to help me.” he giggled 

“I’m good, as long as you understand.” you smiled 

and it is awkward because you guys just stared at one another 

and you feel like seongwoo is gonna tell you something but he didn’t 

nonetheless, he packed up and went home 

and even after he reached home, he continued texting you

and of course, who wouldn’t go crazy if their crush keeps talking?

so you guys texted through the night 

and as you are about to fall asleep, you wondered why seongwoo started talking to you in this manner

like he has never talked about deep stuff with you before 

and you didn’t mean the bad way.... but did something happen to their relationship?

and true enough, you got your answer the next day 

while you guys are heading home after a hang out, yoojung have her usual bright personality on while seongwoo kept quiet

yoojung kept bugging him and you didn’t expect seongwoo to explode

“yoojung, let’s... break up.” 

“what are you talking about? stop talking nonsense” yoojung gave a faked laugh

“i honestly have enough of your whiny attitude and i know everything, you gave y/n all of your physics homework just to go on dates with me” that definitely caught the both of you off guard

“w-what are you talking about seongwoo?- is that why you could hang out with me every day, all of a sudden” seongwoo asked

“I finished all my work! Stop talking nonsense, seongwoo!” yoojung spit back

what you would least expect is to see all of her physics homework in seongwoo’s bag

but how? 

“stop your nonsense, yoojung. I’m tired of all of your request” you felt another pair of hands fitting in yours and you found out seongwoo is pulling you away 

“wait seongwoo, what’s happening?” you had to ask 

“you’re the one that has been helping yoojung do all of her work?” 

why did seongwoo have to put you in such a dilemma 

“when i saw all those physics work at your desk last night, i felt it was odd because you did biology and true enough, you’re helping yoojung to do her work” 

“i guess i can’t lie to you anymore... but even so, there’s no big deal seongwoo” 

“it is, y/n. you have no idea how crazy yoojung is driving me... and i know this sounds even crazier that i actually enjoy being with you more.” seongwoo chuckled 

“what are you saying seongwoo? you must be drunk”

“no i’m not. i always catch myself thinking about you whenever yoojung is so whiny, you’re just so different that i question about my feelings sometimes...” he held your hand and rubbed them 

you sighed because you wanted to tell him how much it drives you nuts to like him and to also know it is impossible to tell him 

you’re just stuck in the middle 

whether to pursue your own happiness 

or to break your best friend’s heart 

“i-i really don’t know about this, seongwoo” you tried to free your hands off seongwoo’s but you found his grip got tighter 

“please don’t go, i know you feel the same way as i do. whenever you look at me, i could feel something different from your gaze” 

“but what about yoojung? she’s gonna be so heart broken and it’s all going to be my fault” you can’t help but to sigh

you waited for seongwoo to reply but instead, he wrapped his arms around and the warmth he gives is making you give in

“stop putting everyone before you, you are ignoring your own happiness” he broke the hug and look at your eyes lovingly 

and the moment his eyes started eyeing your lips and back at your eyes again, you know you’re gonna say yes 

once you felt his lips on yours, you wondered what has been keeping you from saying yes

“i’ll be yours, seongwoo” you kissed him as if you have missed him for a long time

but you don’t have to worry if you’ll ever miss him again

because he’s yours from now on

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