#I hate my dads wife so much its not funny

[zipzaptoastainthebath]

Lady how the fuck did youvmanage to leave the mormon church but keep your weird fucking "doctors are lying to you we need to heal with essential oils" bullshit you were supposed to leave that behind too.

And dont get me started on "oh, i dont go to therapy because if i told them how i parent my kids id be arrested, they just dont get it." You mean you abuse your children? Because ive seen firsthand that you abuse your children.

[n0vazsq]

Maneater | Pablo Gavi x Reader

pairing . . . gavi x secret!love!child!hamilton!reader

summary . . . When your biggest secret is exposed; being the secret love child of the one and only Lewis Hamilton, it seems like your life is over. But then when a boy by the name of Pablo Gavi starts liking your posts, it feels like life isn't so bad anymore

request . . . no!!

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none! reader is around 19-20! !! the way gavi speaks is probably not accurate but i'm too sick to fix it so !!

faceclaim . . . maria isabel!

alexavia yaps . . . whether reader is from a one night stand or from a established relationship isnt mentioned so its up to you!! DO WE WANT A PART TWO BTW?? i tried to include the lewis child lore as much as i could but like idk its more of a side plot! the last post it shitty asl but im too sick to fix it my pills are doing shit to me

f1gossip

liked by user872, user1711, user28 and 2.7M others

f1gossip 7 TIME WORLD CHAMPION LEWIS HAMILTON RUMORED TO HAVE A SECRET LOVE CHILD?! last weekend an anonymous source revealed to a popular british magazine that LEWIS HAMILTON had a 18-20 year old (age unknown) daughter! mother is still yet unknown but daughter is called y/n hamilton and has a private instagram Tagged: yourusername, lewishamilton

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username1 WHAT.

username2 excuse me???

username3 when i opened insta this was the LAST thing i expected

username4 oh jesus at first i thought she was his baby mama i got scared

username5 shes so gorgeous tho

username6 IUEYGTHSJIUHS??????

username7 WHT THE FUCKL

username8 LEWIS WHAT????? IM SO sHCOKED????

username9 MY SHAYLAAAAAAAA

username10 y/n is such a pretty name wtf? shes also so pretty sigh

username11 i mean with f1 this was bound to happen some time

username12 yeah but not NOW

username13 dawg lewis has had enough of this media shit first with the ferrari signing and now with this

username14 im giggling at the comments theyre so funny

username15 SHE USED TO GO TO MY SCHOLL??????????

username16 can lewis fight

username17 i'd think so yes

username18 TAGGING THEM IS DIABOLICAL

username19 MAMMA MIA??? MADRE MIA???

username20 i will NOT shut up about this until like 2498

username21 stop why is she so pretty

username22 THE lewis hamilton is her dad

username23 i-

username24 COME AGAIN?? WHAR???

username25 who is lewis hamilton? i got this on my feed i dont know who he is

username26 some random racer idk

username27 the comments being a mix of people freaking out and simping is so funny to me

username28 oh to have lewis hamilton's child

username29 WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF HES SO BEAUTIFUL

username30 Y/N?? YOU MEAN Y/N HAMILTON IS ACTUALLY RELATED TO LEWIS???

username31 I FOLLOW HER AND ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE A SIMILARITY OR SUM

username32 SHE LOOKS LIKE HIM TOO

username33 CRYING HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE

username34 shes living the dream

username35 i feel so bad for the girl and her mom theyre gonna get so much hate just for existing

username36 sigh i wish i was her

username37 uh whos that? IM lewis' wife

username38 babe.....

username39 this made me laugh ngl

username40 oh god i've met someone more delusional than me that's crazy

username41 FATHERRRRR (literally)

username42 IM SREAMING????

username43 I ALWAYS KNEW LEWIS WAS A DILF

username44 i'm so glad her account is private so yall creeps dont attack her

username45 someone people here are outright DISGUSTING

username46 FR like have some DECENCY this man has a family

username47 sigh i want to be as pretty as her

username48 STUNNING.

username49 can he be my step dad

username50 THE GOAT

username51 ONGGGG

username52 FRRR

username53 the next it girl i can feel it

username54 OMG what if she gets with a driver and we get y/n paddock appearances NOT ONLY as lewis' daughter but also as a wag!!!!

username55 oh!

username56 guys dont forget that they are also human beings!!!!!

username57 THE SECOND PIC IM SOBBING THATS SO CUTEEEE THOO LIKE HER MOM PROTECTING LITTLE Y/N FROM THE PAPARAZZI???

username58 id let him hit me with his car

username59 uh

username60 parents (literally)

NEW NOTIFICATION: pablogavi has started following you !

yourusername

liked by yourbsf, pablogavi, yourmother and 1.1K others

yourusername life updates since my secret got out: 1. i've blocked over 2000 gossip sites and removed over 10k people from my followers, 2. i get 50 death threats every minute, 3. my face is in the front of every magazine (in a bad way)

click to view all comments

username61 oh girl i feel so bad for you

username62 gavi in the likes????

username63 only y/n knows how to make a life crisis aesthetic

username64 and to look so pretty while doing so??

username65 queen behaviour

username66 the outfit is not a want its a NEED

username67 50 death threats every MINUTE is crazy

username68 2000??? girl i know your hands were aching

username69 did lewis say anything about this?

username70 hes gone MIA and hasnt said anything

yourbsf don't listen to them pooks, okay? theyre just jealous because youre so pretty and because your dad is THE lewis hamilton

yourusername this made me smile so wide

yourusername i love you so much its unbelievable 😔

yourbsf me too 😔

yourusername lets get married and run away forever

yourbsf yes we should

yourusername ill buy the rings

username72 im still confused on why PABLO GAVIRA is in the likes like sir this is a bad time to shoot your shot

username73 y/n x bsf/name

username74 the otp fr

username75 the lack of lewis is concerning me

username76 fr like WHERE IS HEEEEEE

yourmother you look stunning my love 🤍

yourusername thank you mama 🫶 all your genes

yourmother you flatter me so much

username77 im not crying you are

yourbsf also check my dms i sent you a little message on SOMEONE peeking in your likes

yourusername ill check out right now.....

username78 im like 109% sure its abt gavi

username79 bro who the fuck is gavi and why is he so important

username80 aww y/n looks so cute

yourfriend1 glowing 🤍

yourbsf damn right she is

yourusername oh...😊 you make me blush

yourbsf well its the truth

yourfriend1 sigh what have i done

yourbsf oi shut up let me admire my beautful girl

yourusername i love you your/bsf/name

yourbsf love you too y/n

yourfriend1 i love you so much friend/name of course we'll never leave you out you're such an amazing friend we can't appreicate it you enough 🤍

yourusername are you okay??

yourbsf girl why are you complimenting yourself

yourfriend1 wow yourfriend1 you're so loved around here <33 i'm jealous

username81 HELP IM SOBBING THEIR CONVOS ARE SO FUNNY

username82 how is she so calm wtf

username83 if she ever gets famous NEVER pr train yourbsf

username84 Y/N DONT LET THE HATE GET TO YOU WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!

username85 legit royalty vibes

username86 imagine being this beautiful sigh

pablogavi ❤ Liked by creator

username87 EH???????

username88 i am JEALOUS, ENVIOUS, GREEN.

username89 GAVI????

username90 i cannot tell if they are together or if hes flirting

username91 MY man

username92 gorgeous gorgeous girl

username93 stop i feel so bad for her

username94 the hate is deserved Comment has been deleted by creator

username95 sooooo is everyone js gonna move on from gavi's comment or...?

username96 holy fuck imagine waking up one day and your biggest secret is out to the world

username97 where to buy that hair asking for a friend

username98 if i could just maul every journalist and reporter that bothers her

username99 im waiting for the fics on her nd gavi

username100 y/n how are you doing so far

yourusername could be better, feel like crying everytime i look out my window

username100 you doesnt deserve the hate babe, we all love you so much

yourusername STOP IM GOING TO CRY 🫶🥹 THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH

yourmother you really don't, gorgeous. we're all here for you

username101 every being so supportive is so sweet like yes y/n fans are the best

username102 100% agreed

username101 like we ARE the best fandom

username102 EXACTLY stan y/n fans for life

username103 dont know if i should be shocked or unsurpirsed

username104 both

username105 HER BESTFRIEND BEING THE SUPPORTIVE OLDER SISTER FIGURE MY HEARTTTTT

username106 i just know damn well lewis is on the verge of tears

username107 SHES SO GORGEOUS I CANT

username108 if lewis doesnt comment on this i will personally go over to him and force him to

username109 me and y/n are in a parasocial relationship btw

username110 y/n and gavi are my dream couple frrrr

NEW NOTIFICATION: pablogavi has liked 8 of your posts !

INSTAGRAM TEXTS BETWEEN YOU AND @yourbsf

yourusername: sooo???

yourbsf: so this footballer

yourbsf: his name is gavi

yourbsf: and he has liked 20 of your posts

yourusername: whats the problem with that tho i randomly see ppl doing that

yourbsf: he followed you after the article gossip page thing idk got out

yourbsf: THEN he commented a heart emoji which YOU liked

yourusername: what if hes an undercover journalist you never know

yourusername: besides

yourusername: i do NOT remember liking his comment 😭

yourbsf: girl what

yourbsf: he is a world wide known footballer who plays for one of the biggest clubs in the world and has more than 17 million followers

yourbsf: i dont think he'd be an undercover journalist

yourbsf: and you didn't exclude him from the 10k followers you removed after you made your acc private...

yourusername: he could still be a journalist in his secret time you never know

yourusername: running a blog then writing "xoxo gossip girl" at the end of it 😭😭😭😭

yourusername: but like in my defense

yourusername: maybe he followed while i was removing the followers and i didnt see him

yourbsf: your defense is shittier than my shit

yourbsf: y/n don't play games with me you know how i am

yourbsf: besides you have to admit you looked through his acc

yourusername: FINE ILL ADMIT IT

yourusername: hes kinda cute.....

yourusername: KINDA

yourusername: happy now??

yourbsf: yes i am happy now

yourbsf: also kinda my ass your in love with him

yourbsf: i can see your heart eyes through the screen

yourusername: yeah yeah

yourusername: if i post another post and he comments something like a heart or idk ill dm him

yourbsf: bet

yourbsf: send me screenshots

yourusername: i wont bc him commenting in one post is just a COINCEDENCE

yourbsf: say whatever you want y/n

yourbsf: we both know the truth

yourbsf: make sure to capture the whole convo

yourusername: fuck off ❤

yourbsf: see thats the same heart he commented

yourusername: throw yourself into incoming traffic i hate you

yourbsf: you dont <33

NEW NOTIFICATION: pablogavi has liked 29 of your posts !

yourusername has posted two new stories !

caption 1: 💙 // caption 2: in barca 🇪🇸

story liked by pablogavi, yourbsf, lewishamilton and 1K others

view all story replies

yourbsf so youre in barca now? do i need to remind you who lives in barca too?

yourusername hush

yourbsf did he like it yet?

yourusername before you even

yourbsf and you say he doesnt like you

yourusername ITS JUST A COINCEDENCE

yourbsf keep repeating that to yourself until you believe it

yourusername die

username111 PRETYYYY

username112 in barcelona for someone specific? 👀

username113 barca boy and barca girl, couldnt have been better

username114 please be there for gavi

yourmother stunning 🫶 take care and be safe!

yourusername will do! i've given my location to bsf/name and i'll share it with you now

yourmother your father will met you there, yes?

yourusername yes! we've arranged a meeting in this fancy restaurant

yourmother don't forget to send me pictures

yourusername i won't

lewishamilton ❤ Message liked by creator

pablogavi hermosa 💙 ❤

yourusername muchas gracias 🫶

pablogavi you know spanish?

yourusername just a tiny bit

pablogavi we can meet up sometime then so i can teach you

pablogavi how long will you be here for?

yourusername around two weeks!

pablogavi better come to a match then and i'll teach you if we win

yourusername and if you lose?

pablogavi you teach me english

yourusername yours is already good though

pablogavi i could use some pratice

yourusername deal

pablogavi ill need to contact you so i can send the details

yourusername is this your way of asking for my number?

pablogavi maybe

yourusername smooth

yourusername my number is XXXXXXXX

pablogavi sent a message

yourusername "hola linda"? really?

pablogavi im just saying the truth

yourusername you amaze me

pablogavi i'm glad

username115 love is in the air eh?

username116 that fit is so adorable omgg

username117 gavi gavi gavi gavi gavi gavi

NEW NOTIFICATION: pablogavi has liked 11 of your posts and 39 highlights !

NEW NOTIFICATION: lewishamlton has started following you !

yourusername

liked by pablogavi, yourbsf, lewishamilton and 1.2K others

yourusername when in barcelona 💙 ❤ VISCA EL BARCA Tagged: fcbarcelona, lewishamilton

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username118 y/n tell us everything that happened please

yourusername this is gonna be a long one

yourusername so i went to barca to discuss some legal and press stuff with my father then i got invited to attend a barcelona match in a deal to exchange language knowledge and they won so now i am receiving help in learning spanish

username118 thats a lot to take in....? anyway what happened with lewis??

yourusername he and my mother will try to get back together but until then they both own custody over me and now i am officialy lewis hamilton's daughter for real and you might see me in the paddock

username119 Y/N PADDOCK APPEARANCES LETS FUCKING GOOOO

username120 YES YES YES YES i dont understand why in barcelona but yeah IM SO HAPPY

yourbsf i love you so much gorgeous i hope you had funn

yourusername i love you more my beloved princess 🫶 i had so much fun but it'd be so much better with you

yourbsf i'll be hopping on a plane soon trust me

yourusername until then someone else will keep me company

yourbsf oh?

yourmother i'm glad you had fun in barcelona darling! i love you so much and tell your father that i said hi!

lewishamilton ❤❤

yourusername 🫶

username121 STOPP MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS LIKE ANOTHER BOMB DROPPING ON US FROM Y/N??? STOP

username122 girl is not even tryna hide it

username123 bro is NOT slick

username124 IKR???

username125 atp i think she WANTS us to know

username126 omg i died watching the match bc VISCA BARCA RAHHH

barcapix she's a maneater make you buy cars make you cut cards make you fall real hard in love

username127 SHES A CULER?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

username128 DID ANYONE SEE GAVI POINTING AT THE STANDS??

username129 YESSS OMG I LEGIT PASSED OUT

username130 THEYRE SUCH CUTIESSS AHHH

nicorosberg welcome to the family y/n, expect christmas gifts from me

yourusername thank you nico! will do!

username131 FUCK OFF

username132 NICO MOTHERFUCKING ROSBERG SAYING WELCOME TO THE FAMILY?????

username133 BROCEDES IS REAL HERES THE CONFORMATION

username134 this post might be the biggest headline of the 21st century

username135 ISYG BAJJHSSYHSUJKKIUHBHNJWMK

username136 I JUST CAME BACK FROM SUMMER CAMP WTF??? IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT LEWIS HAS A DAUGHTER AND SHE MIGHT BE DATIGNG GAVI???

username137 screaming crying throwing up

username138 killing myself because of this

username139 wait for me

username140 they should get a reality show

yourbsf take care of my baby sister, sir lewis hamilton. i trust you with her, dont disappoint me

lewishamilton dont worry, i wont. i love her more than anything

yourbsf good

username141 are we going to ignore this or what

username142 we have more important things to worry about (aka gavi)

username143 girl at least be subtle

username144 i wish i was rich

username145 HALA MADRID

username146 lets make this an actual book bc wtf

username147 so like when will it be my turn

username148 weirdest story of this centruy

username149 no lies said

username150 gavi liked and he didnt comment hmmmm

username151 oh jolly this is so beautiful

username152 THE AESTHETIC ATE UPPPPPP

username153 gavi on holiday with the hamilton family????

username154 who knows maybe we'll never know

username155 the whole family is so gorgeous wtff

username156 your honour i love them

pablogavi did you enjoy the match?

yourusername yes a lot! thanks for inviting me!!

pablogavi i'm glad you enjoyed it, see you next time maybe?

yourusername we'll see if my schedule is clear

pablogavi let me know then

username157 EXCUSE ME??????

username158 so he invited her so he can teach her spanish but then is asking her out again?????

username159 oh to be rich

username160 living vicarously through her wtf

username161 sigh i wish i was y/n or even just like a part of the hamilton family a servant even

username162 id LOVE to be her maid or sum

username163 Y/N GIVE US GAVI CONTENT !!!!!!!!!

username164 REAL

username165 im STARVING for lewis pics

username166 to be hot and have a hot boyfriend is the LIFE (idc that it isnt confirmed she basically hard launched with that pic)

yourbsf i guess those pictures you nearly killed yourself to take of the stadium were worth it after all

yourusername they always are and besides i just tripped over a loose concrete slab

yourbsf they dont leave them lying around like that stop lying

yourusername how about no ❤

yourbsf ill leak our dms

yourusername the dms in which you blackmailed and gaslighted me

yourmother what blackmail??

yourusername YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

yourbsf it was basically when y/n was

yourusername STOPPPP youve had enough already

yourbsf ive gotten ZERO updates on the situation this entire trip y/n

yourusername BECAUSE THERE WERENT ANY

yourusername there were but i wont tell you until i come back because its vocal updates not text-ual updates

yourbsf i see i see

yourbsf WELL HURRY THE FUCK UP AND COME BACK

username167 this is the meaning of chaos

username168 PURE HAVOC

username169 now i understand why y/n's mother never lets them be together OR apart for more than 48 hours

username170 we NEED to know about the updates wtf

username171 gavi and y/n sitting in a tree

username172 id sell my left kidney to get them together

username173 THE AESHETIC. MOTHER Y/N ATEEE

username174 on my fucking knees for her

username176 id die and come back just to experience these photos

username177 our queen is gaining fame dni

username178 is it bad that im making heart eyes at her

username179 totally not, i too am making heart eyes at y/n hamilton

username180 my beloved girl and her barcelona boy sigh

lewishamilton

liked by yourusername, yourbsf, yourmother and 28.7M others

lewishamilton reunited 🤍 i would rather her boyfriend didn't come but anything for my princess Tagged: yourusername

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername aww thank you 🤍

lewishamilton anything for you

yourmother i'm glad you're enjoying the trip! send me lots of pics of y/n and her boyfriend for my photo album

lewishamilton will do! when you finish it send me a copy!

yourmother of course ❤

pablogavi congrats! Liked by creator

yourbsf sooo uncle sir lewis hamilton will you be able to take me to the paddock?

lewishamilton sure?

yourbsf great time to convince some drivers to marry me

yourusername youre literally 20

yourbsf and? i don't mind an age difference

yourusername try f2

yourbsf good idea but only the ones that are 20 or above i don't want to be a predator

yourusername or maybe become a wag of a diff sport like football

yourbsf so i can take the same path as you? This reply has been deleted

yourbsf i'll see

yourusername great!

lewishamilton should i be concerned?

yourusername no!!

lewishamilton alright....

nicorosberg congratulations

yourusername soooo will he able to come to family gatherings one day??

yourmother sure!

lewishamilton no

lewishamilton i mean sure whatever your mother says is best

yourbsf should i say it

yourusername DONT you dare

yourbsf fine

yourmother but won't your boyfriend be long distance? since... well you know

yourusername i didn't think of that

lewishamilton i did

yourusername YOULL FLY HIM OUT>??

lewishamilton no

yourusername brb going to sob my ass off

yourbsf great tactic uncle sir lewis hamilton now she'll tell me everything about them

lewishamilton thank you?

yourbsf you're welcome!!

INSTAGRAM TEXTS BETWEEN YOU AND @pablogavi

pablogavi: i'll miss seeing you in the stands

yourusername: i'll miss being in them

pablogavi: i think you're my good luck charm

pablogavi: make sure to watch our matches

yourusername: who knew the pablo gavira could be so cheesy??

yourusername: but i will

yourusername: i think i'm starting to like football now

pablogavi: you should

pablogavi: since you'll be coming to more matches now

yourusername: oh?

yourusername: well i'll be waiting for my tickets

yourusername: and make sure they don't overlap with the f1 races

pablogavi: don't worry about that

pablogavi: i'll have everything sorted out for you

yourusername: such a gentleman

pablogavi: only for the best

yourusername: you flatter me

pablogavi: they say its not flattery if its true

yourusername: what did i get myself into

yourusername: you're so sappy it's cute atp

yourusername: but anyway

yourusername: my flight leaves in 30 minutes so i have to go now

pablogavi: cute? i'll take it

pablogavi: text me when you land

yourusername: i will !!

pablogavi: have a safe flight carino

pablogavi: i'll call you asap

yourusername: gracias hermoso

yourusername: can't wait for it

yourusername has posted two new stories !

caption 1: i think i love him 🤍// caption 2: goodbye barca, i'll miss you 🇪🇸

story liked by pablogavi, yourbsf, yourmother and 1.1K others

to be continued....?

taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaaa ,, @notm4d1 ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @bernalswifeyy ,, @nngkay ,, @justaf1girl ,, @iamred-iamyellow (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

[green-typewriterz]

i would love literally anything sam winchester related the lack of fics r astounding.. maybe something fluffy?? ive had a bad week would so cheer me up

Best fake-real husband

ASKS ARE OPEN

Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Summary: You and Sam go undercover in a small town to find out what's been happening to the disappearing couples.

ASK: above

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, awkward moments, mid season sam (in my mind it’s season 5 so its not following canon plot)

Author notes: Thankyou so much for the ask!!! I hope this is good :))) also Sam is the leader of the Sassy man army and if you don’t think so you can leave. Also thank you to @midsummeranderson for helping me plan <3

word count: 4110

You had always hated suburban houses, they just seemed empty, unforgiving. Though you didn’t have much of a choice. Bobby had a case and you two were to go undercover.

”Husband and wife��” Sam began, a glint in his eyes as he moved around the open plan kitchen, opening the windows to salve the heat that bit at their necks.

You smiled in reply, laying out weapons to move to the spare room. “Not awkward at all.” You replied and he laughed, shrugging his usual flannel onto a chair and digging into his bag.

Sam looked up, smiling, holding two rings in his hand. “Nope. I’m going to be the best fake-real husband ever. Dean thinks I can’t and I’m kinda determined to prove him wrong.” You sigh and shake your head, but there’s no annoyance behind it. Trust Dean to make a game out of it.

A piece of hair fell in front of his eyes - it’s so long now that it reaches his shoulders, princelike. “Well then I guess I’ll have to be a good wife.” He hummed in agreement and you tucked his hair back behind his ear and a smile spread across his face. “Looks like I’m off to a good start, Sam Heathcliff.”

You gently slipped the ring onto your finger, the metal slightly too big for you. It was your grandmothers, a mix of silver and sapphire. Sam places his dad’s wedding band on his own hand, fiddling with it gently. It made you smile softly, how the ring was cold against your skin - your grandmother had always wanted you to wear it.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your memories and the two of you looked to each other with confusion, Dean wasn’t meant to be here until later that evening. You opened the door cautiously, flitting into character when you saw a 57 year old woman holding a large pie in her hands.

She grinned cheerily, pushing the dish forward into your hands as she spoke, you didn’t really have another choice but to take it (you’d probably hand it off to Dean later.) “Hi,” the voice sounded fake, satirical. She never met your eyes, she was almost entirely focused on Sam. “I heard there was a new couple in town, thought I’d do the neighbourly thing and say hi.” She began, flicking her hair over her shoulder in a particularly suggestive manner. “We’d love to have you over this weekend, monthly barbeque.”

You looked at Sam, who looked entirely uncomfortable with the attention he was receiving and wrapped your arms around his waist. “We’d love to…” you waited for a name, the woman smiled with annoyance, as if she hated you speaking to her.

“Helen. Watson.”

The two of you introduced yourself and agreed to go, knowing the gathering would be useful to get information. With one last glance at Sam, Helen turned around and left, allowing you to breathe a sigh of relief.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Dean came round that evening, constantly grinning and mocking and (as you had expected) he greeted the pie with open arms. “Look you two,” he began, as if he were an expert on the subject, “You’re practically a couple already, just… act like you’re in your honeymoon phase for the old women.”

He stated this as if it were an obvious fact and you raised your brows at his use of the word ‘honeymoon’. Sam looked away in annoyance (Something Dean found extremely funny). It seemed as though the younger Winchester couldn’t wait to get rid of Dean and so, as soon as he had finished his pie, he was forced out the door and back to the impala. There was a second sigh of relief when the door closed.

Though it had seemed like a smart idea at the time, the two of you were sorely regretting filling the spare room with hunting gear as it had left you with one bedroom. “I’ll take the couch,” Sam said as he gathered some clothes to sleep in, you stood in the doorway, arms folded as you shook your head.

“Not a chance, you’d barely fit on this bed imagine how uncomfortable you'd be downstairs.” You argued and he shook his head, trying to claim that he’d slept worse. Eventually, the two of you came to an agreement. Sam would sleep over the covers, you’d sleep under them (he always got hot at night anyway - especially during the summer).

You excused yourself to the bathroom and by the time you had gotten back Sam was already asleep, long hair falling gently over his eyes. You lay down beside him and got comfortable, though you forgot just how much Sam moved in his sleep. He seemed to subconsciously move closer to you, warm, tan skin flush against yours.

His face was inches from yours, holding a gentle smile as if he were happily dreaming (though that was something that didn’t happen often). You gently moved the hair from his eyes and he moved closer still, broad shoulders brushing against you. You fell asleep in the comfort of his warmth and awoke with his arms wrapped securely around you. He wasn’t awake yet, you always woke up before him.

You eventually found it in yourself to move from his grip and headed downstairs, intending to make breakfast for the two of you. He was downstairs a few moments later, hair a sweet, tousled mess on his head. You smiled sweetly but neither of you spoke - there wasn’t much need to.

The two of you seemed to move around each other as if you had been married for years as you got ready for the barbeque, passing each other what you needed wordlessly. Chalk it up to years of hunting together.

“Todays gonna be entertaining for me.” You stated, a smirk on your face. He tilted his head in confusion as if he were a dog and you smiled, eyes drifting to his shoulders for a moment. “C’mon Sam, it’s a town of 47 year old women who hate their husbands and you’re a - very awkward - 6 '4 man. A handsome one at that.” He blushed and turned away, continuing to get ready.

His hands fiddled with the jacket in front of him. “Yeah, so?” You smiled at him, opening the front door as you spoke again.

“So, it’s gonna be fun watching you squirm.” Your smile turned to a grin and Sam shook his head, following you out the door.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

You were right, as expected. Although most were fine, one specific group of women made an exaggerated effort to fan themselves, whispering to each other about Sam. They almost immediately ushered you over. You sent a look to your best friend and headed toward them.

Immediately, they began to gossip, asking you about how you and Sam met and you could barely get a word in edgeways. There were compliments thrown at you too, but you knew they were just to stop you ‘feeling jealous.’

“How did you get so lucky?” One woman, Helen, asked. Her voice was wrought with envy as she stared over at Sam. Part of you understood why they were staring, Sam looked strangely good in the traditional small town husband attire. His white polo had a few buttons undone and the fabric was tight on his arms (Dean had ordered the wrong size) and his long hair was held back from his head by a pair of sunglasses, a few stray pieces falling over his eyes. The only part you weren’t a fan of was the khaki shorts…but it seemed to be the dress code in the town so you brushed it off - you and Dean would probably make fun of him for it later. He felt his gaze on you and turned to meet your eyes, smiling softly and winking. The women around you giggled and you rolled your eyes, to which he laughed.

It turned out that talking to the four women was the best thing for the case, they absolutely adored gossip. “Couples have been going missing, it always starts with the husbands.” Margaret whispered excitedly, “It happened to the couple who were here before you, sweet things.” she continued, sipping on a glass of wine.

You tilted your head, something Sam recognised from a distance, you’d had an idea. “Do they leave anything behind? People can’t just disappear?” You asked, pulling your hand through your hair.

Helen shook her head. “The damn council barely clean out the houses.” You nodded. Bingo. If the house hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned, chances are there’d be evidence. Helen continued to ramble and you were listening intently, until a hand gently slid onto your waist.

You let out a gasp but the strong smell of cedarwood and amber calmed you down. You knew exactly who it was. His grip pulls tighter around you and you lean into him, head resting on his chest. You felt your face flush - something you were praying he didn’t notice.

“How did you two meet?” One woman asked and you looked at each other, making sure without ever even speaking that you had the story right.

Sam leaned his head on yours and sweetly said, “why don’t you take this one, honey.” his eyes sparkled with mischief, he was trying to throw you off and the hand that was massaging your side was proof of that.

You met his eyes with the same excitement, if he wanted to play, you were really going to go for it. “We both worked as government agents, met on the field. Hence all the scars.” The women nodded in realisation, looking at some of the injuries you hadn’t quite managed to hide. “He wasn’t the biggest fan of mine at first but I grew on him, isn’t that right darling?”

Sam nodded, his eyes not leaving yours as he replied, “and now I don’t want to be without her ever again.” He found that sentence to be more true than he thought.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

Sam sent an exasperated look your way as he raked a hand through his hair (and sadly took the glasses off his head). “How were the boys?” you asked with a smile and he turned to make sure no one was watching before dropping the facade.

“I’m actually shocked how much I don’t know about football.” He replied and you both laughed, him leaning into you as he smiled. He looked outside at the group of gossipping women before adding on, “they seemed…friendly.”

You laughed, “to you, sure, but I think it’s because they want you in their bed.” The sentence was blunt and Sam’s eyes widened, cheeks blushing a strong red. You, however, continued as if you had never said anything, “I think it could be witches? We’d have to search for hex bags though.” He nodded, not meeting your eyes (he was slightly flustered).

The two of you eventually said your goodbyes and made your way down the street, Sam looked annoyed with himself. “What’s up?”

He sighed, “this one guy, Glenn, roped me into holding a housewarming party…” You stared at him incredulously, did he not try to say no? Sam recognised the look in your eyes and defended himself, “the man was incredibly persuasive!” You shook your head but knew there was no way out of it. You weren’t the best at party planning.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

The long stretch of grocery store met you as you and Sam stood in the doorway. You didn’t often do this as hunters so it was a slightly daunting task. You looked at each other with tired eyes and went your separate ways, deciding to cover ground as if it were a hunt…just for nachos.

You rounded a corner only to see Helen stood there. Not wanting to be stuck in conversation again, you instantly turned on your heel, hiding behind a row of sauces. Though, something caught your eye. In Helen’s basket, clearly hidden just not very well, was a large amount of herbs and salt. What got you interested was the extreme amount of basil and sage.

Witches. Had to be.

Sam approached you, smiling gently. Something about the situation made him look so… domestic. You tried to motion to him what you were thinking but he seemed so fixated on you, his reaching out for yours. “Can you do your job?” you spoke, the words sounding harsher than you had intended. He instantly pulled back, face twisting with annoyance.

“What?”

“Take the hint, Sam. Behind me.”

You continued to whisper back and forth in annoyance, alerting Helen who watched in confusion. You quickly turned to look at her and sighed as she approached, hiding the herbs with the rest of her groceries. “Lovers quarrel?” she joked and the two of you laughed in the same way Bobby would when Dean told another of his bad jokes.

Sam made excuses as you looked at her, trying to see if you could spot any witch runes on her. It seemed as though she was trying to do the same to you. “Well isn’t that tattoo…neat!” She said, trying to hide the venom in her voice as she pointed out the anti-possession tattoo on your collarbone. Great.

You looked at Sam in annoyance and turned back to Helen. “Thanks! I saw it in a magazine!” You tried to explain away but you knew you’d been caught, she had spotted you and you her. Though she was very keen to stay in conversation, Sam made a quick excuse and you both left as soon as you could.

“Told you it was witches.”

Sam didn’t reply. The car journey back was completely silent, an unspoken annoyance building in the both of you. Neither of you said a word until the front door closed. “Nice job letting her see the tattoo.” Sam said annoyedly, turning to look at you.

You sighed and turned away, packing away the groceries. “Maybe if you spent less time flirting and more time actually hunting we’d be done by now! This isn’t exactly a hard case, we don't need more bodies to our name.” The reply was sharp and annoyed.

He suddenly grabbed your wrist so you’d look at him. “I’m doing my job just fine.” His eyes were locked with yours. You stepped closer.

“No, you’re not. You’re distracted.” Sam scoffed, his minty breath fanning against your cheek from how close you were. His hand was still firmly on your wrist.

An annoyed smile spread across his face and a muscle in his neck tensed. “Oh yeah? And why would I be distracted?” You stared directly at him, from his long hair that fell over his unreadable gaze to the smoothness of his bronzed skin.

You found yourself stepping closer again. “You tell me.”

There was a crushing silence, the only sound being your sharp breaths. Suddenly, Sam’s grip on your hand moved to your waist and he pulled you into him, his lips colliding with yours. You leaned into him, hands grabbing his hair harshly. He kissed you as if he were hungry, as if he had been waiting for years - maybe he had. He lifted you easily and sat you on the kitchen counter, leaning back from the kiss for a split second. His chest rose quickly in hot breaths as he kissed you again. You bit his bottom lip - letting blood drip as his hands gripped your skin.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

The party was loud and irritating, there wasn’t a moment where you had time for yourself, not one point where you weren’t ’y/n Heathcliff’. You and Sam had barely talked after the evening before - you didn’t know what to say.

You knew Helen would be at the party, not only would it be good to keep up appearances but she could get her next victim from it. Sam sent you a look and you nodded once, heading toward the spare bedroom in search of weapons, just in case.

A small, easily hidden knife was being placed into your waistband when Sam opened the door, closing it harshly behind him. “Sorry,” he said quietly, “had to get away from Miriam.”

You laughed gently and went back to preparing, not wanting to meet his eyes. “Helen’s here.”

“I know.”

Silence again. You sighed, “and you just left her out there? Alone?” His brows furrowed and he offered a witty remark, starting another hushed argument between the two of you.

On the other side of the door, Miriam and Margaret pressed their ears to the wood, giggling like school children at how the argument sounded to them. Through the muffled walls, all they could hear was gasps and sharp noises - of course they assumed what they wanted.

Sam’s hands pushed through his hair as he sighed, uncertain of what to do, when suddenly the door started opening. He rushed forward and pushed against it, rushing out a quick, “one moment!” All he heard in reply was laughs.

“What do we do?” He asked nervously and you stood still, nervous, until a thought popped into your head. You held your hands out - asking for permission and, once he nodded, you placed your hands gently in his soft hair, ruffling it. It annoyed you how he still managed to look good.

Then, once he had done the same for you, you looked him up and down, deciding his outfit was far too…tidy. First it was one button undone, then another (you unbuttoned a third for personal reasons). A blush rose on the tips of his ears.

He went to open the door when you realised something was still missing and, in a quick moment of panic, you rushed forward and grabbed his face, kissing him harshly on the lips (you were purposely trying to smudge your lipstick onto him). Sam made a noise in shock but found himself leaning into it, eyes lingering closed for a moment longer after you had pulled away.

Shit. He thought. He definitely liked you.

Eventually, the door was opened and Sam met the two women with an awkward smile. “Oh!’ Margaret began, giggling, “I was going to offer a drink, but I see you’re occupied…” The woman looked at one another, laughed again and walked away, leaving Sam blushing with embarrassment. The door was closed once more and when you were both sure they had walked away, laughter spilt into the room.

He shook his head and smiled, stepping closer to you. “Close one.” You smiled gently, staring into his eyes (the light was hitting them perfectly). There was silence again - neither of you knew what to do.

”Are we ever going to talk about last night?” You asked, thinking about how his hands felt on your skin. His features turned more serious as he sat down on the bed.

He stared at you, lipstick still in a smudge on his face. “I’m not sure what to say about it.” You neared him, hands trailing over his shoulders. Then, slowly, you leaned into him, lifting his chin with your finger as you felt his soft lips against yours. There was something impossibly gentle about it and you weren’t sure anyone had kissed you that softly before.

”Maybe we don’t need to say anything.”

He smiled. You kissed the corner of his grin and headed back downstairs, attempting to fix your hair as you went. You were met with stares as you entered the kitchen - Miriam had most definitely told everyone… at least it sold the cover.

Time passed with an almost excruciating level of slowness and Sam not making a re-entrance back downstairs wasn’t helping either (you had no one to distract you). Eventually, the party cleared out yet Sam was nowhere to be seen - now you began to panic.

You said goodbye to the final few neighbours and headed back upstairs, calling Sam’s name. The lack of response worried you. The first door by the stairs - the one that unfortunately led to your weapons room - was ajar, scratches around the lock. You pulled the dagger from your waistband and slowly opened the door, sighing as you saw the bloodstain on the floor. You had a feeling you knew who had taken him and where he had gone.

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖ng 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

You had managed to track him to Helen’s house, hiding around the back to get a good view through the sliding glass doors. Sat, tied to a chair in the middle of the main room, was Sam. His face was bruised and bloody and his expression looked annoyed, chest heaving with sharp breaths. Helen, Miriam and Margaret circled around him, playing with his hair and gathering items they needed for the spell.

”Poor Sam,” Helen began - you assumed she was the leader, “you’d think you’d be able to fight back against three 57 year olds.” Miriam headed into the kitchen as Margaret laughed, they almost reminded you of the witches from Macbeth.

”You’d also think, considering she’s a hunter, that your ‘wife’ would be better at hiding.” Suddenly, a surprisingly strong pair of hands grabbed you, pushing you against the wall.

You struggled against the grip but it was no use, your hands being painfully tied behind your back. Miriam ushered you into the living room, retiring you to a chair beside Sam. You met his eyes with an apologetic gaze and he returned it.

It was your turn to feel the bunt of the witches’ fun now, knives sliced at your skin and hair was cut from your head, you knew they’d done it somewhere visible on purpose. They grabbed at your face, nails digging into flesh and smiling as Sam protested.

Eventually, the three left the room and you and Sam began planning. You shuffled your chair toward him, trying to see if he could reach the dagger you always hid in your shoe. His hand brushed over your shin but he couldn’t reach any further.

With one final attempt, Sam tried to lean on the chair to reach, which ended with him toppling both chairs. He landed on top of you, his chest flush against yours. “Sorry.” He spoke, words hoarse from lack of breath.

Luckily for you, the fall had broken the ropes around your ankles and - though it hurt like hell - you manoeuvred your leg just enough to read the blade. Sam's hair tickled against your face and his lips tickled your neck - but that was something you’d have to think about later.

“Nice try you two.” Helen spoke as she waltzed back in. You hid the blade in your sleeve as your chair was fixed once more and while the three were busy working, you managed to slice through the ropes. you waited patiently, watching with a newfound confidence. Luckily for you, Maragaret was the type of witch to intimidate - her favourite tactic being getting as close as she could.

You took the opportunity and thrust the blade forward, stabbing through her throat. She screamed out and you stood up making your way over to the other two to fight. You took a fair few punches, but it was nothing new and soon enough the two others were on the floor too, holding onto the last of their life.

The large salt circle was immediately broken and Sam was freed, you apolising every time you accidentally touched any of his injuries. “That was badass.” Sam complimented and you laughed, leaning your hair back tiredly.

You turned away, starting to destroy the spell further as you spoke, “Ready to finally stop being husband and wife?” You asked and a small smirk rose on his face, hands snaking back over your waist again.

With sudden passion, he spun you back around, his eyes glinting. “Not really.”

With that, Sam lifted you off the ground, hands securely gripping your thighs as he kissed your neck. You had your back pushed against the wall as he moved to kiss your lips, your hands pulling at the back of his hair. He sighed and went to kiss you again when the front door swung open, revealing a disgusted (but slightly relieved) Bobby and a grinning Dean.

”We can explain?” Sam offered, gently lowering you back to the ground. You couldn’t look at one another.

Dean shook his head, smiling like a madman. “I don’t know Sammy, seems pretty obvious to me.” Then, with the same giddy happiness he turned to Bobby, who had since fished a ten dollar bill out of his pocket.

Typical. You and Sam shared an annoyed look as The other two hunters headed back out the door. ‘“C’mon you lovebirds,” Bobby began, “There’s a vamp nest in Chicago.”

[sturniozo]

In The Shadows III

Masterlist

The plane ride was filled with silence. I had nothing to say to Matt and he had nothing to say to me. It was that simple so we stayed quiet.

I walk to the car waiting for us, Matt walking right behind me. I text my dad telling him we landed and are now headed towards the house.

My dad sends a thumbs up in reply. It makes me laugh, it’s so like a dad to send a thumbs up instead of a real message. I shake my head and put my phone in my pocket.

“What’s so funny?” Matt asks me as we get into the backseat of the car together.

“None of your business.” I say to him with a glare.

Matt rolls his eyes. “We’re going to have to get along, you know.”

I shake my head. “Plenty of married couples don’t get along. It’s a whole thing.”

“We’re supposed to be newlyweds. We’re still in the honeymoon phase, madly in love and fucking like rabbits.” Matt smirks at me.

“Yeah, like I’d ever let you touch me.”

“I remember a time when you would. When you would beg for me to touch you.” Matt says as his hand reaches for my thigh.

I recoil away. “That was before I found out you were a total douche-bag.”

Matt laughs and pulls his hand away. “What did I ever do that made you hate me so much?”

“You know exactly what you did.”

“I really don’t, love.” He reply’s.

I just sigh and look out the window. Going up the hill to the mini-mansion my father had acquired for our cover.

~

“But, where are you going then?” I ask as I pack up my training gear.

“Hampton’s company.” Matt says calmly.

“Hampton?” I ask. I freeze in place. The name sounds so familiar. Like a name from a story I was told when I was just a little girl.

“Yeah, they had an opening.” Matt says, snapping me out of my trance.

“What’s wrong with this company?”

“Nothing, it’s just a little small with its contacts. I want to do something more than petty hits.” Matt swings his bag over his shoulder.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” I say as I zip up my bag.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I’ll still be on call for any hits your father would like me to do. You haven’t seen the last of me.”

~

The car pulls up to the villas drive way. There’s a movers truck right outside with people already moving in furniture into the house.

I unbuckle my seatbelt but before I can open the door Matt already has it open for me. “Ready, Mrs. Sturniolo?” He asks as he holds out his hand for me.

I take a breath and put on a fake loving face as I take his hand. “I’m ready, baby.” I say as I step out of the car.

I hold his hand in mine as we walk to the house. We open the front door to see many people walking around putting furniture where they think it belongs.

I hate being rude for my cover, but it has to be done. “Don’t put that there, the couch belongs by the window, for the best sunlight reading.” I let go of Matt’s hand to order the movers around, telling them where to put the furniture.

Matt stands by the door with his arms crossed, watching me. He smirks and leans against the wall.

“Are you going to help?” I ask him.

“I’m just admiring you, dear.” He says as he walks over to me. He wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the top of my head. “I think the end table should go next to the couch, and put the short lamp on the table.” Matt says.

I nod. “The end table, no the other one. Put that there at the side of the couch.” I point. “Now put that lamp on the table.”

Matt grips my hip and turns me around to face him, his lips inches from mine.

“What are you doing?” I whisper to him so the movers can’t hear.

“You’re my wife aren’t you?” He says as he presses his lips to mine.

We pull apart. “Not here!” I say. “Not now, not in front of the movers!”

“I didn’t like the way they were looking at you, I wanted them to know you’re mine.” He says back. I roll my eyes and pull away from him fully.

The day goes on. After what felt like hours all the furniture was finally in the house and in the places I had asked them to be.

I collapse on the couch, closing my eyes as I sink into the cushions. Matt sits next to me and wraps an arm around me.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Holding my wife.” He says, pulling me back to him.

“You don’t have to keep this up when there is no one here.” I try to pull away again.

“The best assassins keep up their cover even in private.” He tells me again. I shake my head and sit up.

“The best assassins don’t have to be paired up with you.” I tell him.

“Yeah, but you do.”

There’s a pause before I sigh. “You’re so insufferable.” I mumble.

“Really, what did I do?” Matt asks. “What did I do to make you hate me so much?”

I stand up from the couch. “I’m exhausted, Matt.” I say. “How many bedrooms does this house have?”

Matt leans back on the couch, spreading his body out. “A few. Why, you don’t want to share a bed with your husband?”

“God no.” I turn around and begin to walk to the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Matt asks.

“To get first pick of the bedrooms, what else.” I say before darting upstairs.

Matt quickly jumps from the couch and runs behind me. I check out the last room in the hallway, it’s the best guess on where the master bedroom would be. And I’m right. A huge bedroom, complete with a nice large closet and a fireplace, and its own bathroom. I smile and lock the door behind me. I take off my shoes and flop on the bed.

Matt bangs on my door. “Y/n! Y/n, open the door!” He yells.

“I can’t hear you, I’m asleep!” I yell back as I start to get under the covers and shut the lamp off.

“I can’t just sleep in another bed. You’re supposed to be my wife.”

“Tough.” I shout back. “I’m not sleeping with you, for any reason, ever.”

Matt’s silent for a while before he finally gives in. “I’ll sleep in the guest room, but you better set an alarm for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” I ask.

“The party.”

“What party?”

“What do you mean ‘what party?’” Matt laughs. “We’re the new ‘rich’ couple in this part of a very wealthy town. We’re throwing a housewarming party and getting to know the neighbors.”

“You didn’t go over this with me.” I get up from the bed.

“It’s a good strategy to get to know the locals.” Matt says as I reach the door. I put my hand on the knob but quickly take it off.

“What time should I set my alarm for?” I ask.

“Around six, maybe seven.” Matt pauses and I head back for the bed. “Goodnight, y/n.” He says.

I get back into bed. “Goodnight Matt.”

TAGS: @sturniolopookie @savageking3 @tastesousweet @jko3005 @sturniolo0ntop @cheesesoda @stvrnise @blueeyedbesson @crazycoka @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chris

[sillyguyhahahhaha]

I hate stolas so much its not funny

stolas is the worst shitty piece of ass junk I've ever seen.

Hes manipulative, imp racist, self entitled, blind, sadistic, blame throwing, immature, careless, saddest, abuser, guilt tripper in this whole fucking show.

i hate how people actually like & still defend him when he disregards blitz feelings & blames him for not coming to save him when he literally had his capable employees help.

wouldn't him meeting Val just match so well?

like look ok boo hooo you had a shitty wife, mean daddy, daughters hates you & your depressed. ok i don't give a fuck how about that? look at other characters like imps

blitz accidently killed his own mother, almost killed his best friend, dad always hated him, now all his living family hates him, had a ton of shit & yeah made some bad choices but Cleary has a much worse life & where supposed to feel bad for someone like stolas? I don't fucking get it & theirs a leaked episode that his daughters finds anti depressants & guilt trips him to make us all feel bad for sad owl boy. I don't want to fucking watch that, there's nothing sad about it Hes an ass hole.

He doesn't deserve this shit ton of sympathy that people constantly give him, and why is blitz always the bad guy for being so mean & careless about him when stolas literally made it only about sex, called him "toy" like wtf? and expected him to drop everything to save him because his workers weren't good enough to his liking? like no fuck you stolas and fuck everyone on the team who wrote this or agrees with this, i really just hate you all if you think its sad owl boy. I don't want see any shitty comments like "your mean he does have it hard some people have different types of hard life's" yeah I don't give even a atom of a fuck if I could I would literally kill off stolas.

from episode 1 he literally disregarded that he was in danger & he's been in multiple dangerous situations with no help from stolas besides 1 time ever but stolas expects blitz to just drop everything any time for him? even worse he is literally racist he clearly seems imps as a lower being, treats his imp butler like shit? talks to hardly any other imps unless its some kinky shit & had to reallllyyy loon out the word "oook my little 'imp~'" like I see no redeeming qualities about him he could try to care more for his daughter as well but its always "nooo he's to busy!" no he's fucking not, I've seen bad relation ships & you can still tend to you're child he's just a shitty dad whos to immature to hold any relation ship.

summery: I want stolas to be cut from the series at this point

[flovoid]

YOUR ORIGIN!

yes it has been 10 years for me with sims 4 and here I am recreating my four favorite sims that have put an impact on me ngl- I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE FIRST OF JANUARY TO UPLOAD THEM :D

it’s funny because for me I have THOUSANDS of screenshots and nice memories of them that I never upload in social media, but to yall its new faces n new personalities you ran into, pretty wild.

from here imma go ramble a little about their characters and who they are:

KIM : he is pretty straightforward guy cuz he is LITERALLY the first sim I made in sims 4, he is goofball, bro, and an outgoing guy, he dreamed to be a joke star and I believe he did! its was sooo old, all I remember is that I used to do all the goofy insane stuff with him, he might sometimes dress as a gentleman but he is just a silly guy, he used to have a blonde wife that i dont remember n two kids that i didnt really cared about lmao

LEVI : the only reason I made him is to try out more male cc that I downloaded (that was literally when i started to download good male cc) AND ALSO when the vampire pack released I believe… yep he is a vampire! but he dies to the sun because i kept spamming the weakness thingy thinking it is a strength- he used to live in san my with his little toddler sister; he is a musician and omg he did have a beautiful voice i could never get tired of him… into guitar mostly and wrote so much songs! with him I was literally just trying so much new stuff since we bought some DLCs, also the toddlers update dropped, vampire, city..etc.

DANTE : he is literally the most sim that had an impact on me, not just to me! also my siblings they all know him n never forgot him, he used to be a sim in a save where I did play with a rich family who live in the city, dante was a loner guy live in a small apartment with his big bro who was literally the most extrovert sim alive- he is an athlete guy and really healthy! dante did pumped into the blonde women from the rich family, they both kinda fell for eachother and became endgame! the women is a future president and she did! miss her :( and dante is just a househusband dreaming to have a simple live BUT what’s funny to me is that he never had a normal live literally all the crazy stuff happen to him lmao, anyway he is into jazz so much- lord I remember spamming the jazz station ALOT while playing with him, he have a puppy & a cat they were iconic, and he lived a long life really, had four kids, had so many grandkids, had so many winter fests, celebrated so many NYEs, to the fact his eldest son died before him crazy… but he was indeed an icon.

THEO : yall this boy… he was literally the first sim that i had who went thro a trauma like i didnt even plan it technically a daddy issues, theo used to have the perfect family; mom, dad, and a baby boy, but his dad became a famous actor, and the more fame he got the more he became a narcissist, he legit didnt care about his love live n only cared about himself; he became arrogant too and in that point is were theo’s parents got divorced and everything got complicated, after the drama he got a new brother an adopted one! theo were close with his bro, but theo grew up getting rebellious, was cutting lots of his hair because it reminded him of his dad, he looked so much like him, when he became a teen the boy dyed his hair all black not kidding he stayed like that forever but in my remake version i wanted to show his real hair hehe, he was into metal genre and yep his favorite color is black too, likes wearing chokers n piercings, he used to be friends with max villareal (love him so much n him n theo were so dang similar) and he was a HARD CORE GAMER yall not kidding he used to play alot in tournaments n always win to the fact he started to become famous like his dad he hated that, theo was mean af he was brutal honest yall dont joke with him, and even tho he was acting like an asshole sometimes but love was his weakness… he become surprisingly quiet. he was like the protector with his loved ones.

[dissovledgirl]

okay so re-reading scp takes DAY 2/3 IDK

number one i re read, case hate red.

bro. you have no idea how much this tale means to me. as a classical musician myself, the pure horror of people that you put your trust in(especially as a soloist???) turning into demonic monsters and ripping your body apart??? idk?? like bro wtf😭 also poor guy just wants his wife back anyways like at first i thought it was some crazy panic attack type thing bc i’ve definitely had things like that before performing gosh it was so nicely written UGH (also like there are slugs in his eyes…..)

(ALSO!! I WANT TO POINT OUT THE FACT THAT HE IS PLAYING SHOSTAKOVICH. shostakovich isn’t like mozart and beethoven. his music is extremely dissonant and hard to listen to(note wise) and like for me personally it’s a sense of impending doom(even his waltz: https://open.spotify.com/track/0pjCsB0XNSyqM9UazlTODC?si=MUyjuJ7dRjq4as5kEdvScw , is in a minor key and isn’t very happy dancey it’s like IDK. and this one obvi https://open.spotify.com/wrapped/share/share-a1ac487ed18b4f6295de7a2e8ae910e9?si=wT4w91aaQQ-qHgxgPl3n_Q&track-id=1zwNC4HIvgQQ6nga0ygjIg like is so hard to play and listen to it just makes you uncomfortable and that’s just his style) so basically what i’m trying to say is i don’t KNOW if qntm was trying to use this as a symbol, all i’m saying is that if tinad wasnt a book, it was a movie, and shostakovichs shit was playing in the back???? ain’t no way i’d think this is a happy scene of some guy achieving his dreams and play the violin(especially in the context of what happened before)

sorry the classical musician in me IS COMING OUT

number two: portraits of your father

THIS ONE. GOD. i mean what the hell. like this kid has a pretty fucked up life ( as does any kid with a dad working at the foundation.. cough alison.. cough meri) and that’s sad in itself. BUT THE WHOLE GHING. KONDRAKI LAYING ON THE FLOOR. SAYING LIKE YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A GOOD FUTURE, AND IM GLAD JAMES LOVES YOU ANS WHAT. and the periodic flashbacks to draven’s childhood ugh:( he really loved his dad. also i love draven and talloran together idk who came up with that but ily

NUMBER 3!: Mann with the Plann, or the Dog Gone Days of Summer & New Tricks (or: Youth Culture Killed My Dog)

first of all. i love kain pathos crow. he’s really funny dude i love him. (yesterday does NOT exist guys!) (gears being the vet is also so funny)

i think it’s really interesting how kain and clef just accept the fact that they are gonna listen to the foundation whether they want to or not(they don’t want to) and its also so exciting seeing kain being like let’s fucking go olympia!! anywyas love that guy

okay so for the mann tale which was redirected from there, bro😭. i love mann and lament and its actually so iconic that kain mann and lament are a trio i love that.

that last one was a good lighthearted one to make up for the gut wrenching ones before it

[sunthyme]

Okay, now is technically the last one before my prefect design lol. OOPS I FORGOR fuck well here they finally are lol...

😭Other Side Characters😭

I drew so many cutie patooties in this batch omg they're adorable. But first we'll kick off with the Royal Blade characters!

🐱Chenya🐱

Because I'm not spelling out his whole damn name 💀

(he/she/they/it/ whatever pronouns you can think of lol) Genderqueer - Pansexual

Teehee I forgot to colour in the damn hair clips... I'm gonna kms /j

- Genderqueer cat. Any character based on the Cheshire Cat is genderqueer to me istg. Chenya is no exception.

- I kept most of her design the same but added in some heterochromia for funsies and used those colours for the hair clips and earrings. Xe is also Hispanic, idk it just felt right.

- Totally has ADHD. The impulsive thoughts are obvious with this one and I think that Neige serves as its impulse control. They made like, a pact of sorts (after their Headmage yelled at Chenya for doing something) that Chenya tells Neige whatever the impulsive thought is and Neige either tell Chenya 'No, you can't do that' or 'We can do this instead'.

- Broke asf. I dunno but I feel like Chenya has like the worst habit of impulse buying you've ever seen so they never carry money on they to try and avoid it at Trey and Riddle's recommendation. It's mostly worked as Neige buys anything Chenya needs when they go out anyways.

Speaking so much of Neige,

🐦Neige LeBlanche🐦

(he/him) Transmasc - Biromantic Asexual

God I love how Neige came out, look at him!!! He's such a cutie patootie omgomg I love him sm

- Anyways, I was fighting my demons to not make him black and I lost. I dunno, we don't have enough sweet, cute black boys in media and that is a crime.

- I gave him some hairclips with cute lil charms on them and some of those silly little acne patches. Idk if he actually has acne, he totally could, but I think he'd wear them either way to like normalise not be ashamed of it, y'know?

- I gave him some cute little apple earrings which were a gift that Rook gave him after a concert with one of his letters lol. He wears most of the jewelry gifted to him at one point or another but he really likes the apple earrings.

- Has a crush on Vil. Idk how popular of a headcanon that is but as soon as they interacted, I felt like it made sense. I love the one-sided rivalry lmao with Vil hating his ass and he's just like, 'Omg, she's so pretty and cool and smart. Wow, I'm so glad we get to work together so much!' It's really funny ngl.k

- Loves to crochet, knit, and sew. All are kinda skills he picked up while caring for the dwarves but they're his favourite to do. He's made Chenya a few sets of mittens (because for some super mysterious reason, they always go missing) and a quilt at some point.

- Likes anything with apples in it, pies, drinks, you name it. Fall is his favourite season because of apple cider alone (otherwise it'd be spring).

Onto the Kingscholars!

🦁Cheka Kingscholar🦁

(he/him)

He's so cute!!! I love him omg I'd actually love to babysit him look at those eyes

- I kept his design also pretty on model, darken his skin a smidge and textured his hair to match Leona's. Smacked some dimples and birthmarks on as if he wasn't cute enough already.

- The gold eyeliner is like a royal thing, maybe be specific to the crown line or maybe Leona's just too fcking lazy, probably the later.

- He's actually really good at chess. He's played many games with Leona, even though he didn't get it at first, but now he can beat most people who play him (still not Leona lest he really screws up something). Most of his birthdays, he gets a new pretty chess set and he has a little display of them in his room.

Now for his dad! The only character here without a canon design (as far as I know... which I'm upset about).

👑Farena Kingscholar👑

(he/him) - Heterosexual

I woulda also made a design for his wife but I don' think she even has a name?? So maybe in the future.

- I based him more on Leona, trying to make sure that Cheka didn't just get his trait lmao. I think that he got his piercing actually after Leona got his because the palace staff were criticising him for it so Farena went and got one.

- I dunno, he's giving bi wife energy. It helps that the women of Sunset Savannah are buff and cool and I'm so mad we never saw them 😭😭😭 I wanna see Leona's sister-in-law so bad ;^;.

- He's not as much into the intellectual side of things like Leona is, would rather defeat people with strength which is why the two really don't get along super well. Though I think it's only perceived on Leona's side, I don't think Farena realises how much hurt Leona's had throughout his life.

- Angst aside, he doesn't get much in the way of free time what with all his royal duties and such. His favourite activities are spoiling his family and getting used as a weight for his wife's daily exercise!

We got even more other family characters incoming...

🐍Najima Viper🐍

(she/her) - Bicurious

Fair warning, I haven't encountered any of the last three characters lol.

- I didn't change much here either, just added some red streaks to her hair and matched her palette to Jamil's.

- I don't know if her age is ever implied but I think she'd be younger than him by like a year. She went to a different school with Kalim's cousin (who they're like besties).

- I feel like Najima didn't get the same set of exceptions set on her growing up and so her relationship with the Al-Asims, while still not necessarily healthy, was nowhere near as damaging. I think that while Jamil definitely envies that, he'd rather die than make her go through the same thing as him.

Up next,

🧢Mama Spade🧢

(she/her) - Bisexual

Never met her either 😭😭😭

- I based her off my Deuce design and really just added some more piercings. I actually toned down the blonde streaks but I think they'd both have just a few.

- I believe she has a small business??? Or something? I didn't read the wiki but her hat had a delivery service me thinks but I stan her having a small business.

- She loves her son very much and was super excited when she saw his new piercings. Also, super accepting when he came out, obvi and thinks that while Ace is a bit of a rascal, they do click together.

I don't have a ton for her but I want that event to come back pleaseeee 🙏🙏🙏

🐉Meleanor Draconia🐉

(she/they) Agender - Aromantic Pansexual

- I had so much fun with her horns. I made them more branchy and I think a full grown dragon (well, like an old one) would basically have a web of antlers. I added some purple to the tips for the 🌸aesthetic🌸.

- Also added some wave to her hair. Malleus looked in her spitting image so I figured I'd give Levan's genes a chance lmao. They're also super tall, probably even taller than Mal herself and especially with the horns.

- I think she'd have left some things that Malleus ended up growing up with not realising they were from her, like a hair clasp, some assorted jewelry, a couple toys and items that Lilia gave him when he was old enough. Pieces of her for him to grow up with, y'know?

Anyways, I'm so sorry for this posting without anything lmao I was real tired last night! Prefect is next on the chopping block!

[runa-falls]

Ok so I've been playing with Mel's Mafia Jake AI and it got me thinking about what Miguel would be like for some reason??? Dude's half Irish so like, maybe he's a boss in the Irish mob. Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? So he goes about his life, about his business, runs his side of things well. He's lonely at the top but he ignores it, doesn't think anyone else would understand the pressure that's on him...

Until he meets you.

It's some celebration (maybe St. Patrick's Day or something idk) and he sees you across the room/bar/whatever and you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. So he does and you hit it off from the get go. You're smart, witty, funny, sexy...just the whole package. He's basically in love, okay?

Then a boss (maybe a rival heheee 👀) from another city or section (or whatever idk how they divide the city up tbh lmao maybe I should've done more research 😭) comes up and he finds out: you're his wife/girlfriend and it's just like a punch in the gut for him. He's devastated. He's never ever wanted anything anyone else had that he couldn't take...until you. Youre kinda bummed too, you really enjoyed the time you spent with Miguel, and you (honestly) aren't a huge fan of your husband/boyfriend (maybe he's an idiot or just a dick idk).

But you guys keep running into each other, and the feelings between you keep growing, until the tension breaks and you hook up with him at another get together (he takes you against a wall, fast and hard, his hand over your mouth because you're moaning as he pushes inside, the stretch of him divine and he buries his face in your neck, his cock spearing in and out of your wet heat in sloppy, hard thrusts. You're both coming in minutes, his spend dripping out of you and down your legs. The sight is almost enough to make him take you again).

After, you both say it was a mistake, that you can't do this again, it won't end well. But neither of you can help it, sneaking off to meet up in random places so no one catches you (except that one time it happened in your bed 🫢). And and and.... yeah. 🫣

I'M SO. SORRY SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TODAY

OK FIRST, EVERYONE CHECK OUT THIS FAN ART BY @darkfoxkirin -- the mafia!mig of MY DREAMS

PLS WHITNEY:

Maybe he took over for his dad and he kind of hates it (has always hated it) but there's really nothing else for him so what can be do? -> i could literally imagine him sitting on a throne, bored as fuck like 😒 damn this SUCKS lolll

He's lonely at the top -> PLEASE THIS IS GIVING THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH -- I NEED HIM AHH

you lock eyes and have A Moment™️ and he decides he has to talk to you. -> the moment™️ KILLS ME LOLL, but YES a love or lust at first sight (spoiler, its both). not only does he need to talk to you, he needs you.

But you guys keep running into each other...-> HEY THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPPH, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO DO ME LIKE THAT 0-0, IM MELTING BRUV -- AND THEY KEEP MEETING 🫠

---

ok so imagine that he's getting pressured to marry someone because as the boss, he's expected to have an heir to keep the business in the family.

he agrees to meet up with some aristocratic women just to get his advisors off his ass. it's not like he's taking them home or anything, he's merely meeting them at one of the clubs he owns or getting some dinner.

of course, during one of these 'dates' he bumps into you and your husband.

looks like he's not the only one trying to keep a low profile during the affair.

even though your two gangs are rivals, your husband politely greets miguel (though anyone within a 5 mile radius can hear the venom that simmers below his words).

"Mr. O'Hara, what a surprise to see you here..." you roll your eyes at the dick measuring contest. men can be so --

"Likewise."

miguel doesn't even look at him, barely even acknowledges his existence with his murmured reply. he's too busy looking at you in your pretty dress and the necklace that sits against your chest. he gave you it a few weeks ago, the last time he could get you alone.

he tries to catch your eye but you're not looking back at him, you're looking at the girl who clings to his arm.

both of you barely register that your husband is still talking, eyes devouring the woman who's clearly confused by the tension in the restaurant.

"...and who is this lovely thing?"

"this? oh, this is m..." damn, he forgot. SHIT, he literally just read her file in the car before picking her up. this may not be a real date, but he's not a dick!

she saves him the embarrassment, "I'm Melissa, nice to meet you." she offers a hand, expecting a handshake, but your husband takes it for a kiss. gross. even melissa look weirded out.

"So you're finally out in the field again?"

miguel looks at you warily, but you've been avoiding his eyes during this whole interaction.

"You could say that."

"Good for you." your husband reaches out and holds your hands in his from across the small round table, "It's about time us bachelors settle down."

miguel's jaw clenches, watching how uncomfortable you are being touched by him. "Sure. Look it was great catching up, but me and Melinda have a table waiting."

[keefessketchbook]

WISDOM SAGA THOUGHTS 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Guys, this saga had me in shambles. I had to wait til the morning of the 30th to listen so listening to it before breakfast WRECKED me.

Legendary 🐕

The instrumentals go so hard like it's so chill

In the first verse, Telemachus reminds me so much of Polites. like bring the world so light? open arms who?

the pre chorus has some of my favorite lyrics jay has ever written. like 'Cause I'm stuck with your stories/But no clue who you are/And no idea if you're dead or just too far/Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign/If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?

ALSO THIS SONG HAVING THE MELODY FROM FULL SPEED AHEAD THE "polites gear up, you and i'll go ahead" PART

the chorus i love because it references all the monsters Ody has had to fight

The second verse is so like real. like Telemachus is just singing his heart out about his problems

The suitors sound so much like the sailors, which hurts my heart. like these are the voices of the men that were friends with ody. now they are tryin to get his wife

Telemachus' last line is sending me like "If I fight this monster/Is it you I'll find?" like bro you find his old bestie, badass senorita

Little wolf 🐺

So this song sounds really good musically. I can see the evil sutiors from the "dark" and "evil" sounds jay uses

The chorus/ what the suitors are chanting is really cool

Athena coming to his rescue has my whole heart like its so cute

Telemachus is just a little baby like he's my little boy

love Love LOVE how athena turned the suitors chant into her own like she's in his corner rooting for him

Also Teagan's riff is so prettyyyyy

We'll be fine 👍

This is my favorite song in this saga. I just wish it was longerrr

Like Athena literally describing Ody and comparing him to Telemachus is just so sweet

Also the lyrics call back to my goodbye because ody said "What's a title that a goddess could lend/ If I'll never sleep at night?" and in this song Athena says "Maybe, if I helped you reach your goal/Life could be that bright/I could sleep at night"

Telemachus is just so gentle with Athena, I think that is what she needs because i guess she thought Telemachus would hate her because of what she did to his dad but Telemachus just has so much Polites energy like bro is precious

THIS LINE SPECIFICALLY "I don't think he'll mind/If not his friend, then mine" 😭😭😭😭😭

Both of their voices blend so well together like its so cute

"You're a good kid" AHHHHHHHHHH

Love in Paradise 🏝

Athena calling him old friend has my heart

The callbacks to the other songs is just amazing. they blend so well together, i kinda want to make it my ringtone

Calypso's beat is so good like its so beachy and calm

the "did you know you talk in your sleep?" line reminds me of the scene from PJO from the 4th book when Percy wakes up on Calypso's island

the silence after "she's my wife" is soooo funny to me

Calypso's verse is so good like the notes and beat are so pretty

the goddess can't die line beat is soo good like her laugh is so pretty

THE TIME JUMP !!!!!!

Ody calling back to the underworld lyrics is amazing to me

THE STAY IN MY OPEN ARMS LINE HAS ME DEAD LIKE DON'T DISRESPECT MY POLITES POOKIE

I literally was thinking last night, 'if i hear polites in the wisdom saga, i will be losing my shit' can confirm, have lost my shit

Polites, Eury, and Ody's mom's voices all blend together so well like OMG it hurts

and Ody calling out for Athena is so cute like for once he's admitting he needs help

So, this saga is officially my favorite. I'll post god games soon. That one has a lot more to unpack. I love this community sm. Kinda sad that we didn't get to hear any Penelope tho.

Stay weird, guys

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[teddypickerry]

gg topics i could talk about forever + my hottakes!

i’ve seen a few people do their own version of this for their first watch soooo let me do it after seeing the show a little more than one time.

+ jess’s childhood. i have so many questions, so many points. what do you mean his mom drank while she was pregnant with him? what do you mean your mother is a whackjob? what do you mean you can’t sleep without music blasting? what do you mean you literally raised your self in the city while your mom was off getting married or binge drinking?

+ TRISTIAN HAVING LOGAN’S STORYLINE? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

+ logan brought out the absolute WORST in rory.

+ emily is a horrible parent. a. horrible. parent. yes, she’s funny. yes, she’s one of the best characters. but if you justify her parenting, you’ve clearly never grown up with a parent like that.

+ why rory shouldn’t have ended up with any of her boyfriends from the show.

+ rory wasn’t a bad friend to paris or lane!!!! JFC.

+ zach fucking sucks. i don’t know how you guys justify him.

+ rory’s daddy issues and how they never actually talk about its depth, how much christopher hurt her. and how he only came back for his benefit with lorelai or sherry.

+ rory never understood jess and they wouldn’t have had a good relationship in the end.

+ each character’s music taste. you guys are soooo off (what the fuck makes you think lorelai would be a swiftie?).

+ PEOPLE ARE TEAM DEAN ONLY BECAUSE JARED IS GOOD LOOKING. THERE ARE NO OTHER ASSETS. LITERALLY NONE. BESIDES, OH, MAYBE SCREAMING AT HIS WIFE AND CHEATING ON HER?

+ rory being the child emily and richard never got and how hard that must’ve been on lorelai :(

+ jess’s fidgeting and mannerisms 🥹

+ jess (once again) was just a kid. he was JUST A KID. he was barely eighteen begging his dad to even stay the night, he was eighteen living in that shithole in nyc.

+ yeah, lane deserved a lot better but i don’t think she should’ve been a famous drummer. nor should she have been best friends with jess!!!

+ yeah jess and paris had one good scene together, but they wouldn’t have been best friends bonding over literature. they’d hate eachother within hours.

+ how was rory with dean for over a year as teenagers and they never got together until years later? maybe i’ve just been around the wrong teenage boys but i’ve never known a teenage boy who went over a year happily without putting out.

+ rory and lorelai BOTH have their insufferable moments. but they’re human, of course they make mistakes.

+ on the same topic, watching the show while absolutely hating one of them/loving the other is… insane. pure insanity. it’s called gilmore GIRLS for a reason.

[casp1an-sea]

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON STAR WARS LEGENDS

These are just my opinions your welcome to have different ones

Han and Leia waiting to get married makes total sense! At the end of return of the Jedi the only time they’ve spent as a couple is when their relationship started in ESB and its continuation in ROJ most of which they were in battle. Yes Leia has been thinking about him for about a year now but she hasn’t been able to get closer to him in that time, and for Han it’s like not time has passed at all. Plus there’s still a fucking War going on that they very much are invoked in. Marriage is not on their minds, especially Leia’s. (Plus all the traumatic shit they have to process)

This is a message to both legends and canon LUKE IS GAY come on now 🥲

Mara was cool until she married Luke then the writers kind of screwed up her character

Han’s backstory WTF (it’s so sad but so good)

Can we get more Han and Lando buddy cop adventures?

I FUCKING LOVE CORAN HORN

Okay but those stormtroopers from Choices of One feel like The Bad Batch’s emo cousins

THRAWN IS SUCH A NEAT VILLIAN

I THINK NUSO ESVA IS NONBINARY. WHY? fanart

I think it’s rly funny that C-3PO gets given to Han

I love Anakin so much why did he have to die???? Also please Leia why did you insist on that name. Don’t get me wrong I love it but the pressure you put on this poor child. Han why’d you give in you idiot?

HAN IS SUCH A DAD

WHY ARE THEY LEAVING A DEPRESSED ALCOHOLIC HOME ALONE WITH C3PO AND A LIST OF BARS?????

I feel so bad for Han in courtship of Princess Leia. Should I?

Okay but let’s be clear Leia definitely cheated on Han with Isolder. Idc what she thinks that was, it was cheating.

I see a common theme of Leia being rly untrustworthy of Han until they get married. To like an unhealthy degree. What is this guys? I promise he’s not a bad dude.

remember that time where Luke made a submarine out of a dead creatures stomach skin? Yep I do.

lando’s mining facilities getting destroyed is such a funny gag

Did you notice Isolder’s daughter marries Han and Leia’s son? It’s like poetry it rhymes.

WHY IS BOBA FETT STILL HERE????

I love paradise snare but to me the hutt gambit was a dumbstruck fire

HUGE PET PEVE I HAVE WITH TATOINE GHOST! (Still love the book though) Forgiving and forgetting is not always the answer. Han does not need to forgive the republic. LEIA DOES NOT NEED TO FORGIVE VADER. Nor would Han push her to do so and he certainly would not condone the slaughter of tuskins because “he was a boy with a dead mother”. Well wouldn’t you know Han you’re a boy with a dead mother and you didn’t commit genocide. You have even less reason to forgive Vader than the twins. I block this out it was a bad writing choice.

HAN HAD A CHILD WITH BRIA???? I know when, but WHERE ARE THEY?! google was no help

“Must be nice to have a grandmother” LMAO HAN YOU OKAY BUDDY?

Is it bad of me to say I prefer the og force witches/dathomirians/dathomir/nightsisters to the canon ones?

WHY DOES FORCE LIGHTNIHNG NEVER ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING

LUUKE SKYWALKER? They’re so goated for that. OKAY BUT DID DAVE FILLONI READ THE REBEL FORCE SERIES? BRAINWASHED abducted children with no memory of their lives and family, solely devoted ASSASSINS to an ECCENTRIC IMPERIAL WITH A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX who wants favor with the emperor. And these assassins are called X-1, X-2, X-3, X-4, X-5, X-6, and X-7. This is why it should have been tech.

I thought Chewie’s death was impactful and I didn’t hate it

I like it better that Han and Leia didn’t divorce

I like that Han is a male wife and I love how close his children are to him. It makes sense that Leia would be the working one.

not them have a floor to ceiling length tapestry of Leia in a their house. That would scare the shit out of me at night.

I like that Leia is a senator and not a general. Okay hear me out. Leia is trained in diplomacy as much as she is in combat. She was a senator before she was a rebel. And she has always been very much involved in matters of state and would want to feel like she was actively doing something to keep the republic in check. The rebellion was not just a war to her it was making the Galaxy a better place that doesn’t end when the war for her so the natural next step would be a government position. Granted she still acts as a general if need be and goes far beyond her job description countless times.

THE NEW JEDI ORDER SERIES IS FUCKING CRAZY MAN

Can someone fo a demo of the song C-3Po wrote about Han?

[typellblog]

so we all know 'seeing with love' in the umineko sense but let me introduce you to 'seeing with hate' i.e. my approach to fate/zero

i don't think its good but i think if you see with hate it's secretly the funniest fate entry of all time. the trick is not taking any of the characters struggles seriously

for example kiritsugu is just an incredible guy he's constantly moping about circumstances he directly put himself in. like he's so edgy and such a pathetic sopping mess at the same time that it goes past tragedy and crosses back around into comedy. i mean he cheats on his wife because otherwise he can't cope with the fact that he needs to kill her. he cheats on her with his personal adopted child soldier that hes also treating as expendable. oh no how are all my family members dead i only fired my special family killing rocket at them

kayneth is another character where the tragedy is so over the top it becomes absurd. like he's very much a tragic figure of the classic mold who starts in a high societal position and is undone by his hubris except. his hubris as presented in the show is. being kinda mean to waver? underestimating kiritsugu? and in exchange for this his life rapidly flips from blessed to possibly the worst two weeks any human being has ever experienced. the fiance fucking the hired help to getting crippled pipeline

speaking of lancer its like. genuinely moving to me that he can't find a single fucking person to fight for real in the entire grail war but his whole dying speech with his own spear stuck through him is crazy because he fucking. curses the grail in the name of diarmuid o'dyna and its just. buddy thats not why its cursed. its already cursed its okay. THIS IS A PREQUEL WE ALREADY KNOW ITS CURSED YOU JUST "GOT LUCKY"

you also have to love kariya he's a very sympathetic character apart from the one catch that he seems to have deluded himself into thinking he can steal tokiomi's wife by killing him. its so funny once you realise it. what are you talking about dude you're not gonna get to go hang out with sakura and rin and aoi after all this is over YOU'LL BE THE GUY THAT KILLED THEIR DAD. killing tokiomi is half the reason he joins the war and as soon as kirei puts tokiomi's body in front of him and aoi hes like oh fuck and the whole thing collapses around him

on the subject of tokiomi. what an idiot. what an absolute buffoon. like truly how dumb do you have to be to stack the entire deck in your favour and then invite kotomine fucking kirei to be your appprentice. the scene where kariya confronts tokiomi is so fuckign good because you can see him losing it as he realises the guy with everything he ever wanted is an absolute basket case

okay who next i guess berserker. look. i just love how. genuinely surprised saber is. when she finds out. Sir lancelot how could you hate me so much i never knew!

HE WAS FUCKING YOUR WIFE!!!!!!

[ecargmura]

A Terrified Teacher At Ghoul School Episode 5 Review - A Trip To Osaka

Guess who binged the entire manga of A Terrified Teacher At Ghoul School and its spinoff prequel Youkai Gakkou no Seito Hajimemashita after watching the previous episode? Me! This gag manga is super funny when it needs to be, but when it needs to be emotional, it can really tug at your heartstrings. Oh right, this is supposed to be a review for Episode 5 and not my thoughts on the manga. *ahem*

This entire episode is just Sano, Maizuka, Zashiki and Hijita going to Osaka to visit Haruaki for the weekend. Originally, they were going to sneak and surprise him, but only Sano knows about Haruaki’s family owning a shrine, so it was his job to keep them in line but Haruaki sort of pissed him off and decided to take them straight to his house and not avoid it. I don’t think their reason for visiting was explained other than wanting to visit out of curiosity.

Anyways, after Zashiki ran into two men hitting on her, she gets saved by Amaaki, Haruaki’s older twin brother. If you’re curious, Amaaki is older by a day (his birthday is 2/20 while Haru’s is 2/21) but he is a centimeter shorter (he is 187 cm while Haru is 188 cm). Despite being identical twins, they are completely different. For one, Ame doesn’t have a sailor uniform fetish and is more of a brocon. Second, Ame is more stylish, tougher and more protective while Haru is a lot frumpier, softer and sensitive. In terms of powers, Haru got all of the powers meaning Ame is just an ordinary person. Most of all, Ame hates youkai and cannot stand them out of fear. Also, it’s easier to differentiate them as Haruaki’s hair has a reddish undertone, while Amaaki has a blue undertone.

The twins’ parents also make their debut. Mama-aki and Papa-aki are super adorable. They both have sweet personalities and Haruaki seems to take after their personalities as Amaaki is the one holding all of their braincells. I feel bad for Papa-aki as he gets abused by his son and wife by denying his existence for the youkai students’ sake. He has to be degraded to a fairy that hangs out in the house. Poor guy. Though, I do feel like Haruaki’s penchant for misfortune comes from his dad as shown in the flashback where he accidentally released the sealed youkai by accidentally.

The main conflict of the episode is Amaaki’s overprotectiveness towards Haruaki. Because of his disdain for youkai, he wants Haruaki to quit teaching at youkai school, but Sano does see that it’s more out of distrust for Haruaki rather than disdain for youkai. Fortunately, he does tone it down after talking it out with Sano, but given that these sort of things don’t just go away, it’ll probably still be there once Amaaki makes another appearance.

I like some minor details regarding the other characters. I like how Maizuka sits on a high chair. I like how Hijita gets stuck being a drink in a bottle when they’re in Haruaki’s car. I also like the strange chronicle of one of the guys who had hit on Zashiki getting together with the old lady he forcibly hit on due to Amaaki’s meddling. You can see them together in the festival, much to Hijita, Zashiki and Maizuka’s horror and they are seen towards the end at the train station. I just think it’s hilarious that Amaaki sort of played matchmaker.

Speaking of which, the voice cast for Papa-aki and Mama-aki is pretty crazy. Papa is voiced by Kenichi Suzumura, who you may know as Murasakibara from Kuroko’s Basketball and Momotaro Mikoshiba from Free. Mama is voiced by Mamiko Noto who is known for voicing Sawako Kuronuma from Kimi ni Todoke and Ine from Grandpa And Grandma Turned Young Again. It’s crazy how they got big names to voice the parents. I think it suits them so well because they suit the comedic vibes. I think this is the first time I heard Suzumura voicing a dad. Amaaki’s voice actor is Gakuto Kajiwara who you might know as Allen from Paradox Live. I like that the twins are voiced by different voice actors to show off that they’re not the same person even if they are identical looking. It gives Ame some individuality.

Anyways, I know I binged the manga for the past few days, but I am not going to do a manga and anime comparison because that’ll take way too long. All I can say is that the anime really likes to combine some chapters together for one episode. This episode combines Chapters 8 and 9 into one. Because of the tendency to combine chapters, it’s unpredictable what’s going to happen next. What will Episode 6 be about? Also, this anime has 24 episodes and will continue on in Winter 2025. It makes me wonder just how much they will add in. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[spacedlexi]

you said that you "need 2 characters to deeply care for each other and positively impact each other for me to want to ship them" so which of the twdg canon ships do you actually think work/make sense? and by canon ships i mean like actual established relationships, implied relationships or perhaps a character that was crushing on someone else before death.

me immediately blanking on every relationship in twdg upon reading this ask

the only one i stand behind with conviction is clemvi. idk if you need me to explain why i feel like ive done it a million times by now 👀 but yeah theyre the only relationship i "Ship" in regards to the quote where i see them as a match for each other and think romance makes sense for both parties

as for some "in defense of"s

i'll defend javi and kate. my only Real problem with them is how they handle david in it like girl can you at least take off the wedding ring before we kiss 😭 my brother still thinks youre his wife (plus they did push it Really hard.. but like.. narratively i understand why they did. family is a running theme of the series and javi and davids relationship is like the main conflict). but like. kate and javis relationship Makes Sense. she had a shit husband (who wanted to go back to the army anyway). her and javi already had the beginnings of Something before the outbreak even happened. she was left with javi to take care of 2 children that werent even biologically hers (i enjoy the complex family dynamics in twdg as a whole). and together theyve been surviving for years as a family unit. i think javi having feelings isnt up for debate, its more just will he act on those feelings or will he respect his brother? and like.. fuck david am i right? kate was Not happy in that relationship and deserves better, and javi cares about her. but also the pressure from their dad to get along after hes gone. it all works for me even if it couldve been executed better

and i .... sigh .... Understand gabe and clem. BUT!!! i think they have different feelings towards each other and its an important distinction. gabe definitely has a huge crush on her, shes cool as hell, but i think her feelings in return are fueled by hormones and the fact that she hasnt been around anyone her own age since DUCK (sarah was 15 at the time). like. does she think hes cute? yeah. but he can also be kind of a huge jerk sometimes and acts recklessly. i think its those moments that snap clem out of it lol. seeing this response in S4 felt vindicating im taking it as sad loner clem having a hormone induced crush. like girl yes or no?? this is the most direct option??

personally i dont like them together because i Hate tropes where the more mature girl half has to teach the immature boy half to grow up and be capable and thats somehow romantic. ESPECIALLY in clems case where she is literally already raising someone like her hands are full ok. her assuaging his ego makes me 🤢 girl you dont have to take that second gun just because he was gonna cry about it if you didnt. its just not romantic to me. also i think its soooo funny that clem uses the same tactic on gabe that she does on aj in S4 with the "i need you to watch my back" to stop him from complaining about being left behind at the gate LOL. also i just think he loves his dad too much who clem hates more than anyone on earth so like.. theres that

uuhhh who else... alvin and rebecca are fine. like i have nothing to say about them but i believe their relationship and think they wouldve been good parents to aj. hmmm.... i guess thats it for the ones i have defenses for?? the others just like.. exist. like im neutral