#I hate everything and after today I should just drive off a bridge and be done

[downfallofi]

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[radicalshelbs]

I really thought we could make it.

I really really wanted us to make it.

I sit in my living room, staring at the phone in my hands. My chest is hot and so are the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

My cat rubs his face along my legs, oblivious to the fact that my world has caved in and I am being berated with debris.

The clock says 6:13am.

I want to scream, I want to sob, I want to fall apart completely and become a mound of rubble but I have to open the theater today.

I stand and hobble to the bathroom.

I turn the cold nozzle in the shower and proceed to sit down.

I sit and silently scream, tears pouring down my face, as not to wake my parents or neighbors this early.

The light of my life has just been extinguished and I have to pop popcorn at 10am.

I hear my alarm going off and then from there and getting to the theater is a blur.

I pop the popcorn, I do the theater checks, soft sobs escaping my mouth.

I smile and laugh with my staff.

They don't know.

I sit at box, breathing, trying to keep myself together.

C walks in and I don't greet him.

He notices but doesn't press.

I go to leave and run into D.

D notices. He does press.

D knows.

Somehow, someone knowing makes it too real.

I try to keep it in but tears escape.

D hugs me.

He hates hugs.

But he hugs me anyway.

I hurry to my car.

I scream in my car, driving home with tears blinding me.

I sob in my car then try to compose myself.

I walk inside and my mom is by the door already.

What's wrong?

I say work was rough and she believes it.

She didn't know.

She doesn't want to know.

I go to my room.

I text F.

I cave and text C too.

F is busy but C answers.

I try to break the news lightly.

You aren't the only single manager anymore, haha.

C is typing.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Me too.

I stare at the ceiling.

I finally saw them after 5 years of being away.

In the span of a few minutes, I lost them.

I burned the bridge myself.

I burned the bridge and now there's ash smudged at the tip of my fingers where I held the match.

Maybe if I wash the ash off my hands, I can fix it.

Do I want to fix it?

Do I want to settle?

Do I excuse the hurt?

Did I make a mistake?

I get up and throw my phone down and rush to the pool.

I jump in and once I'm at the bottom, I scream.

I come back up for air and go back down to drown out my agony.

I float for what feels like hours and walk home.

Did you have a good swim, Shelbs?

Yeah mom.

The days start to warp together.

I can't tell when time has passed, everything is moving yet still.

I wake up in the mornings and throw up.

I spend the days trying to keep my mind busy, talking and forcing laughs and smiles.

I feel guilty for trying to keep the conversations going for as long as I can.

They're tired.

They have lives.

They are sick of hearing about it.

They are sick of me too.

At the end of the night, everyone leaves.

The silence is deafening.

I can't catch my breath.

My mistakes materialize in my room, dancing with the shadows.

Whenever I feel alone, I would just send a message.

I would send an invite to a game.

I would hit Facetime.

I would Snap.

I can't do that anymore.

My hands go numb as I pick up my phone.

I can't do that anymore.

I throw up again.

How did this happen?

All these years.

How did this happen?

Was I in the wrong?

I should just learn that I do not deserve love.

I should have just accepted my fate.

I should have taken the abuse.

I would have been wounded but I would not have been lonely.

I would at least have them sometimes.

The sun comes up.

I look at my phone.

The clock says 6:13am.

I want to scream, I want to sob, I want to fall apart completely and become a mound of rubble but I have to open the theater today.

I stand and hobble to the bathroom.

I turn the cold nozzle in the shower and proceed to sit down.

I sit and silently scream, tears pouring down my face, as not to wake my parents or neighbors this early.

The light of my life has just been extinguished and I have to pop popcorn at 10am.

[loiswolf]

Day 21 June 19 Fort St John - Dawson Creek 75kms

Some of you have probably been thinking I’ve had wifi problems again….nah, I just haven’t really been cycling enough to blog about it.

On Saturday morning I left the Warmshowers family ( I put their photo in the previous blog in case you missed that edit), pedalled into town then back along the Highway to the RV park.

At Toad River I had also made friends with Debbie and Tim who were driving the long stretch (388kms) between Fort Nelson and Fort St John on Saturday .They had agreed to take Shirley and I on board. My other option was to take the bus but it didn’t run until Monday ( today).

We found a place to fit Shirley in the RV and I was in the back seat of the truck with Rhino….the dog. It seemed like such a long way. We went through rain, spotted 3 bears and a moose, saw a helicopter taking water to a fire somewhere and climbed lots of big hills. I didn’t mind being in the truck one little bit and I also had the benefit of being able to talk to Debbie and Tim.

They were really lovely. I’ve met some great people hitching rides! It turns out there actually were places I could possibly have stayed in after around 230kms but they hadn’t shown up on the map. It’s also hard to know which ones are actually open and offering rooms.

About 13kms from Fort St John my lift was turning right to head back west to another town. We took a farewell selfie and unloaded Shirley.

I rolled over to the other side of the road to the servo for a coffee and some chicken wings. Then it was pretty much a downhill run all the way into town.

My motel appeared very quickly. I should have cancelled my booking and headed off to the nice Motel 8 up the road because this place was just awful.

My room stunk of cigarette smoke and the other tenants looked absolutely undesirable. I’m pretty sure there was a prostitute operating out of the room two doors up because every hour , on the hour , a car would drive up and someone would go in. Just before the hour was up they would leave and someone would arrive on the next hour. 😕 A little suspicious. You would have thought with all those customers the occupant would have been able to afford a better car than this rust bucket.

It actually moved a couple of spaces overnight. I can’t believe it was drivable!

My biggest regret was that I had booked two nights at this hideous place!

After a while I became used to the smell and worked out how to reconnect the wifi when it dropped out every hour or so. I woke up at about 4am the first night convinced there were bed bugs ( there wasn’t).

I spent my rest day actually resting. I did walk around the shops on the other side of the road covering quite some distance. The shops are all about 400m apart with huge car parks between. I watched bad movies and a had a snooze in the afternoon.

I woke at 4am this morning to get some water to find that the fridge had frozen everything in it. ( it was on the lowest setting). I pulled everything out so it could thaw by the morning and went back to bed.

So……today it was back on the bike!

I wasn’t in a hurry because today was only 75kms. Ok, I took ages getting ready because I couldn’t figure out the Wordle. Finally I solved it, packed up Shirley and headed off for my last day on the Alaskan Highway.

The first 10kms were unremarkable except for quite a lot of traffic. The next 10kms were a long downhill run all the way into the next town, Taylor. It looked like a much nicer town to stay in but it was too late now. The road continued down the hill and over a bridge. I was going too fast to realise I should have gone on the pedestrian pathway. The bridge was a metal grid ( I hate those) and nothing could get by me. I just hung on and tried to keep Shirley in a straight line, rather hard with the wind, and told myself not to look down.

After the bridge was a very long hill, about 6kms. I took this photo a little way up so you can see the scary bridge if you look hard.( it’s blue)

The hill wasn’t too hard even though it was long. This photo is from near the top.

All day it was a long slow hill followed by another lengthy downhill run. At about 50kms there was a town called Farmington which boasted one service station.

I foolishly bought a flavoured coffee to go with my cinnamon scroll. Sitting back outside in the wind ( the only place to sit) I realised it was milky and sweet so I tossed it over the railing and snuck back inside to fill the cup with real coffee.

Only 25kms to go. There were a lot of trucks and fuel tankers but the shoulder was good so I was able to stay out of their way. One last long hill was followed by a 10km run down into Dawson Creek and the end of the Alaskan Highway.

I’m not sure where it started but I’ve been on it for well over 1000kms.

I’d had some serious doubts about the motel I’d booked here. I was going to sneak in and check it out before paying but the lovely owner knew who I was as soon as I walked in. Rats! Turns out I didn’t need to worry. It’s a nice little place

And smells great!

[bloodycherry22]

Mistake | Rick Grimes

Genre: smut

Summary: The relationship between both you and Rick is negative, banter that is took too far, like frenemies. When Rick comes home injured, anger sparks and you decide to apologise by cleaning him up, he has another reward in mind ;)

Warnings: Dumbification, overstimulation, oral (fem receiving), cussing, blood, mention of injury, fingering, little bit of praise.

Not proofread

It was quiet, too quiet. Too calm and safe, Alexandria, a place full of pussies, as Daryl would say. You should appreciate it, but its hard to..being stuck in a home with a man you hate, being one of the only single people left in the group, you had to fill the gap in the household, it was fine caring for Carl and Judith, but being so close to Rick, no.

His annoying voice, that painfully soothed you and his mannerisms, how he holds himself so well, how he walks with pride, it was like your body didn't know how to respond, pure hatred or pure want due to probable daddy issues..who knows. Either way, living with the man wasn't fun, he hated the way you got on so well with his kids and how well you helped around the house, how skilled you were with walkers. Everyone seemed to grow sick of the constant bickering, seemingly why you now live in a house alone with him and his kids.. and well Carl often takes Judith out during the day.

However, Rick was on a run as of right now, god knows when he would get back, so here you are, alone, reading a book on the plush couch, decorated in carefully crafted pillows and blankets. You could only see the shine of the clean hardwood floors, the fluffy socks on your feet making it impossible to feel discomfort of the hard flooring, yet you did, feel the discomfort that is. In an apocalyptic world, most grew to find comfort in the uncomfortable, everything was too perfect, after a while, an actual prison can begin to feel like home, yet this house just didn't.

You were knocked out of your nihilistic thought, the sound of the front door opening rang through your ears, recognising it to be rick by the sounds of his heavy boots and belt moving with a rhythmic metal sound. He didn’t announce himself but he didn’t need to, his presence was clear to you. "Finally home? Another useless trip or did you actually accomplish something today?" you mumbled, keeping your eyes on the book.

He just muttered something under his breathe in response, he stood somewhere behind you, the sound of him taking his jacket off present. "hey i may as well go pour the gas out into the river, cuz you know..that's basically what your doing with all these drives..or maybe i should go shoot a brick wall-"

"Fucking- just, not now..godamnit y/n, i'm sick of whatever this is"

"anger, rudeness, teasing..there are many words you can use rick, or is your brain decaying from being around all these mindless wimps all day-"

"y/n! god, i said enough!" He snapped and only then did you look up and meet his gaze, his tired gaze. He was a mess, covered in dirt, blood splattered all over his clothes and face, a few cuts on his face and hands. Guilt flew through you as you placed your book down on the coffee table. Tiptoeing over to him, you placed a hand on his bicep as you mumbled apologies, a newfound sympathy. He went to push you away, but held back, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"shit, i just wanted to come home to peace..but i can't, your constant teasing, its like we pick fights with each other, its pathetic!" he raised his voice, it was unclear if he was angry at just you..or both of you, either way, it wasn't nice.

"Rick, look..I'll leave you be tonight, k? Or just for a little while, seems like you need a break" you swiped your thumb over his arm and he looked at you, his blue eyes deep. "I'd say go relax and take a shower but the waters off while they fix something"

"Are y'kidding? Just my fucking luck, I need to clean myself up" He groaned, tipping his head back. Chewing on your lip, you smiled, light bulb moment. You walked around the house, grabbing various items, a water bottle, a cloth and a first aid kit. "I'll help..least i can do" you mumbled, sitting on the kitchen counter before ushering him over.

He raised his brow and strode over, standing in front of you, however he kept a distance, being petty. Sighing, you signaled for him to come closer, he obliged and moved an inch or two forward, grinning mischievously at you as you looked at him, dumbfounded. With a huff, you pulled him closer, in between your legs as they hung off the counter. He accepted the position and awkwardly moved his hands before setting them on your knees nervously.

You carefully poured some water onto the cloth, looking back at him afterwards. "stay still." He nodded in response and watched as you lifted the cloth to his face, slowly wiping some of the more prominent dirt away before brushing it over his skin. His eyes flickered over your features, curiosity shining in his blue orbs. The new intimacy made you appreciate more of him, the way he licked his once dry lips, the short beard, that was streaked lightly with grey. The way his hair fell over his face ever so slightly made you shiver, he looked good. It made you wonder how many times you missed his attractiveness throughout the years, you always knew he was good looking but suddenly you felt heavily attracted to the older man.

Slowly, you brushed some of his hair away revealing a deep gash just above his eyebrow, it made you cringe ever so slightly "fuck, does that not hurt?" You asked, reaching into the first aid kit and pulling out some alcohol wipes. He shrugged, seeming zoned out and exhausted. Sighing, you bit down onto your lip and gently swiped the wipe over the cut, he flinched and gripped onto the fabric of your shirt, but you didn't mind, mumbling an apology and carrying on.

You frowned "i need to stitch that up, its super deep" you said, placing your pinky under his chin, forcing eye contact. He just nodded and gave you a look of approval, using his free hand to pat your knee in a reassuring way. You took his approval with a grain of salt and got what you needed, he watched your every move intently before closing his eyes when you got ready.

He was tough, but anyone could admit it was painful, you began to stitch it up, trying to be as gentle and quick as possible, his breathe seemed to hitch and his grip tightened in your shirt. You pursed your lips and persevered, taking great care with him. At a particularly painful part, his hand that once rested on your knee, tightly gripped at the push of your thigh, yet you managed to not react and push any dirty thoughts away.

Not long after, you finished, placing everything down and grabbing the cloth, wiping over his face once more, however his grip on your thigh didn't halt, nor did he show any signs of moving. Smiling, you placed the cloth down and looked at him, to your surprise he was already staring deep at you. You lifted your hand to pat his cheek "all done"

He grinned lightly and looked at you, the air thick and hot all of a sudden. "well thank you" he mumbled, his thumb brushing over your clothed thigh. "why do we fight?"

"i couldn't tell you, maybe its your annoying face" you joked. He scoffed, his face softening as he tipped his head to the side "the face you just took such good care of, i might just get you to do this every day" he joked, seeming to move closer.

"I dunno, i don't ever make the same mistake twice.." you clicked your tongue, finding yourself leaning towards him as if some unknown force was pulling you. He seemed impressed at your snarky remark and looked up from your lips, to your eyes, and back to your lips again.

"hm..well this better not be a mistake" he said, voice barely above a whisper as he pressed his lips against yours, it was shocking, so out of nowhere and sudden, yet you kissed back, and god it was not a mistake. Your hands fell comfortably around his neck and he hummed lightly in satisfaction, pulling back to catch his breathe, lips still dancing over yours.

It was had to breath, everything was so sudden, so much had happened, it had been so long since a man had touched you, it was like your senses were in overdrive. You craved him, wanted more of him, your fingers fumbled with the edge of his hair as you pressed a short, gentle kiss to his lips.

A low noise escaped him as his free hand sat on your lower back, pulling you closer to him as his large frame spread your thighs, the way his hand still gripped so tight onto your thigh made you whimper. You were becoming so needy, so overwhelmed by him.

He let his hand ride up your thigh, thumb rubbing over the hot material that clothed your inner thigh, his head falling into the crook of your neck. He peppered sensual kisses over your neck, his lips warm and soft as they parted on the skin of your neck, sucking a mark into the skin. His warm embrace made your head tilt back and eyes flutter back in pleasure.

His scent was exhilarating, having him so close made your heart skip a beat, you never knew you needed him, but now you feared the idea of not being so close. He pulled back from your neck, gently tugging your skin with his teeth, he stepped back, eyes on your neck. A noise left your mouth, it was pathetic and at any other time would cause you embarrassment, but his absence wasn't what you wanted. You wanted him.

He snickered, stepping back between your thighs, both hands spreading over your thighs, gripping at the skin. "someones had a change of heart" He hummed, looking into your dazed eyes, his own slightly glazed over. You just mumbled in response, one of your hands resting on his shoulder and the other on his cheek.

“You’ve gone quiet darlin..have I really made that much of a mess out of you, that fast?” He smirked, leaning to brush his lips over yours, kissing you multiple times for just seconds. You found yourself desperately leaning into him, unbeknownst to what had happened to you.

“Tell me what you want, y/n” his voice was gruff, quiet, it made your body shake. The way your name rolled of his tongue. Licking your lips, you finally spoke up “I want you to touch me, Rick”

“That’s it, good job” he teased, his tone patronising as he squeezed your thighs gently, leaning in once again yet this time kissing you harshly. His lips moving against yours, his teeth grazing over your bottom lip as his fingers fumbled with your jeans, hands sliding up the material to unbutton them, making sure to drag his fingers as close to your heat as possible.

He tugged at the jeans, pulling them down your thighs and leaving them halfway down your shins as to not break the kiss. His tongue found its way into your mouth, the kiss deepening in all the ways you craved as one of his hands played teasingly with the hem of your underwear.

You whined, hands finding his hair to tug gently, earning a groan from him as he began to mess with your panties, agonisingly slow as he began to tug them down your thighs, just like the jeans. He hummed and pulled away from the kiss, lowering himself to fully remove the clothing that rested on your legs, his cold, calloused hands slowly made there way up your legs, landing on your hips and hiking you to the very edge of the counter.

You felt exposed as he spread your thighs with his large hands, his head between them, his breathe hot against your skin as he pressed short kisses along your thighs, one of his hands moving to your heat, his eyes met yours as if he was asking for your permission, you were quick to nod. You were sure you wanted him.

He couldn’t hold back the grin against the plush or your thigh, gently sucking another mark as his thumb found your clit, circling it at a slow pace, the touch sending you insane as your head flew back. He seemed proud of himself, it was clear in the way he sped up the circles to a much nicer pace, his middle finger circling your entrance before carefully pushing inside of you.

He watched your reactions closely, his finger pushing in and out of you, curling into the soft spot you craved. Quiet, desperate moans began to leave your mouth as your hips began to move against his hands, needy. He used his free hand to halt your movements, mumbling a quiet “not yet” he shook his head. It was quick but you felt the knot in your stomach quickly tightening, your hands gripping the edge of the counter as your body tried to, but failed to move against him. He pumped his finger in and out of you at a constant pace, watching you in pleasure as you came undone.

He began to pepper kisses up your thigh, moving closer and closer before he you felt a kiss on your clit, the sensation new and amazing. His tongue circled and played with your sensitive heat, making sure to change often, his finger still inside you. Your hands found his hair, gripping tightly as you tried to keep composure, the evident feeling of him adding another finger into your tight cunt making your eyes squeeze shut. His grin was clear against your skin.

His hand finally loosened on your hips and you were able to move against his face, thighs squeezing around him slightly at the harsh pleasure. His hand wrapped around the back of it, the other still working at your cunt, pushing at the same spot over and over again as he began to suck on your clit, feeling the way your legs began to shake. Your orgasm was building up and it was obvious, the way your quiet moans turned into loud whines and desperate pleas impressed him.

He leaned his head back and used to his thumb to quickly run circles into your clit, mouth pressing kisses into your thigh again as you felt the knot releasing. He kept at his pace for a few moments longer, helping you come down from the high, watching you pant and gasp. He slowly stood up again, carefully removing his fingers and humming. He smirked at your flushed expression, seeming embarrassed. “You taste good sweetheart, we really should do this more often” he teased, kissing you softly, able to taste yourself on his tongue.

Apologies the smut seems so rushed, I wanted to get another fic out so bad and I made this up two or three hours ago lol.

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

Love in a Hopeless World

A/N: Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! I’m back with another fic for you! This was one of the options given to me.

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Male reader

Requested: @evansphnx12

Rating: Mature

Warnings: NSFW, smut, bottom male reader, sir kink, degradation, creampie, size kink, Choking kink, breeding kink, masturbation, and all characters are above the age of 18+

Word Count: 2355

Summary: Its turns out there weren't that many supplies in the old abandoned campus. So, you and Chris have to go deeper into the city to find more but during the little scavenge, Chris began to dirty thoughts...

I hope you enjoy it! Sorry if it’s bad! And sorry for any errors that are found!

If you like what I write, how about check out my masterlist?

Keys:

M/n: Male name.

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[1]

[2] YOU ARE HERE

DISCLAIMER!: I never played or watched any gameplay of the resident evil series. And this doesn’t follow any of the resident evil timelines, it’s on its own.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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Previously...

Then y'all had another round of hot steamy sex. And the others at the base had a hard time sleeping that night.

«••••••••••••••»

Your eyes twitch at the unpleasant light hitting it directly. 'It's morning already?' you moved around only to feel wet sheets. 'What happened last night?'

Then you felt a body move and a muscular arm grab you, pulling you closer. You could feel the warmth, and muscular chest pushed against your back.

'Oh! That's right!' now you remembered why you were all sticky and sleeping against Chris. 'I had sex with my superior! But he felt the same.'

Then you felt Chris move around and waking up. "Hey, baby boy," Chris said with a raspy and deep voice. "Morning." you pressed your lips against his.

"If you continue, we may have to repeat what we did last night, baby," Chris growled as pulled back, gripping your waist. You smirked before getting up.

"Come one, we have to get ready. We have important business," you said. "Ugh, can't we just sleep in and have some... Fun?" Chris complained.

"I know you haven't had sex in 5 years but we need to go get those people. We'll have fun at the end of the day," you said stressing your muscles and popping your back.

The bed creaked meaning he finally got off his ass to get ready. "We need to go get those survivors. And scavenge for more supplies," you said putting your armor on and fixing it up.

After you both got your gear and weapons, you both walked into the main area with all the others.

Everybody looked at you both and immediately looked at way. There was awkwardness in the room. 'They must have heard me last night!' Hell! maybe the whole city heard it is quiet

"Uh,- sir... We have a situation." one of the soldiers said. "shot." Chris said. "Well... it turns out there weren't that many supplies found on the campus. We need more supplies if weren't gonna go get those survivors." the soldier said

You heard listening but your mind began to wonder. You still couldn't let go of the past, you remembered one of your siblings was accepted into MIT. This was 3 months after the Raccoon City Incident.

You would see on the news- Raccoon City survivors being discriminated against by the American people. "Hey, what do I keep saying?" Chris said next to you. His conversation was done.

"Stop thinking about the past, it's long gone," you replied, mimicking his voice. Chris laughed, "Okay, baby. But we need to go get those people."

You nodded but kind of chuckled at the fact that he didn't want to do anything today but now wants to do business.

"Come on, M/n! We have to get going. EVERYONE, protect the base at all cost." Chris commanded. "YES SIR!" they all said at the same time.

You, Chris, and a few others left the confines of the base. Even though it was morning, the sky still had a grey color to it. You open the door to the back seat and closed it.

"We should be there in 20 minutes or less." the driver said starting the engine up. "Alright, let's go." the armored car pulled out before driving down the messy road.

It wasn't long before you reached the waterfront. You could see the skyline perfectly, most buildings were on the verge of collapsing. Others were burnt to where the wall showed the skeleton.

Up ahead, you saw a bridge leading into Cambridge was destroyed. 'Longfellow Bridge.' You have been to Boston before and got to explore everything before the world went hell.

The ride continued for a while. There was nothing or anyone in sight. You could see the freeway ahead but like all other ways leading into Cambridge was destroyed.

"We're closing in on Bunker Hill. They said they are taking refuge by the monument." one of them said.

And wouldn't you know it? In the distance, you could see the tall granite obelisk peaking out. It kind of looked like the one down in D.C. but this one is still standing.

What you meant by "This one is still standing" is because the capital was hit by a nuclear warhead, along with other cities across the US.

The President and other government officials were evacuated and the countries important documents were evacuated as well. So, the legacy of the US would still live.

That means the President is still alive and is in some remote area devoid of zombie life.

"I see some people! They appear to be walking around." one of the soldiers said. And the people seem to notice us because they were waving at us.

"Stop the car," Chris said, the car stopped. He and others got out. Two of the survivors looked familiar? Like you have seen them before. They both were tall and had beards.

They walked up to y'all. "Please, are you here to rescue us?" one of them pleaded. "Yes, we're here to take you to our temporary base," Chris said.

They all smiled and some hugged each other. Chris ordered the soldiers to help some things and you approached the two survivors. "Why do you two look familiar?"

One of them laughed and smiled. "Well...- are you fan of Captain America and Thor?"

Your jaw dropped and your eyes widen. "No. Way. You're Chris Evans and Hemsworth!" you were lost at speech. "I thought y'all was dead! I- how-"

"Well, we survived! I'm not too sure about the others though..." Chris H said with that thick Australian accent. You both were just talking, unknown to Chris R was glaring holes into your head.

After y'all returned to MIT Dorms, you still talked with Chris E and H. You didn't even acknowledge Chris R's glares.

He was getting more and more jealous. 'I hate those two!' Chris yelled in his mind. They were taking your attention from him.

"We have to go M/n! We need to find supplies." Chris yelled at you. 'What's wrong with him?' you thought to yourself. "Bye guys!" You waved at the two Chris.

"He was fun to talk to." Chris H said and Chris E agreed.

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TIMESKIP (To Supermarket)

«••••••••••••••»

You and Chris arrived at the market. There were some abandoned cars in the parking lot. "Come on." You both walked to the doors and opened them.

The place was absolutely trashed. Lights flickering, aisles tipped over, some cans on the floor - also money, which was useless-, and the roof caved in on the left side.

"Look for non-perishables. Canned food would be good and find any water- if there is any that is." you nodded your head before going down one of the aisles.

There were some canned foods but no water. The smell of a rotting corpse filled the air, you could hear flies buzzing. "Ugh." you covered your nose and looked at the rotting corpse. "Poor bastard..."

Meanwhile, Chris was looking for the same stuff, but he was still bitter about you talking to those guys. And completely ignoring him. He could already imagine your punishment.

He could imagine you begging for more, feeling the tightness of your ass wrapped around his cock. 'Shit.' Chris was getting hard. His cock was feeling restricted by the tight pants.

"Hurry up, M/n!" Chris yelled from the other side of the store. "Okay!" you finished gathering anything you could find. 'Why are we leaving early? We have few more places to loot/raid.'

You left the aisles and made your way to the front doors. "Come on, we have to go." you both we made went to the vehicle and drove back to base.

You had found some supplies. 15 canned foods, and some water as well. It wasn't much, but it's something.

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TIMESKIP (Arrival at the base.)

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You and Chris arrived at MIT. You were gonna go talk with Chris E and H, but Chris R wasn't having it.

"Hey-" Chris grabbed your hand and began to rush to the room. Everyone knew what was gonna happen. 'Ah, shit- there gonna go at it again.'

At the room, Chris pinned you against the wall and latched his lips onto yours. The kiss rough, his much larger body pushed against yours shows the difference in size.

His tongue pushed against your teeth telling you to open them. You slowly pushed your mouth, Chris immediately pushed his tongue and invaded your mouth.

"Mmm-" you moaned into the kiss as Chris began to grip your ass. "Up." He growled into your ear. You wrapped your legs around his waist and continued to make out.

He lifted you and carried you to the bed. He slammed you onto your back before pulling away and attacking your neck. "A-ah!" Chris found your sweet spot.

"You belong to me, M/n! I claimed you that night we had sex last night!" Chris growled. "Strip." he quickly removed his clothes, leaving him in his boxers.

You could see the outline thick meaty cock. "You got hard from just kissing me?" you laughed. "You don't talk me like that! You're the slut here." Chris growled as he gripped and slapped your thighs.

You whimpered under the touch. "Look at you, whimpering under me. And your pathetic cock got hard from me hitting you. But let's see what this ass has to say." Chris said as he put your legs on his shoulders

You then felt his thick slicked fingers at your entrance. One finger slips in, your muscles immediately clenched at the invader. "M-mm." you gripped the sheets as his finger pushed deeper.

Then a second finger went in. You clench even more as it did a scissor motion. "Aagh!" you felt his fingers touch the bundle of pleasure. "You're ready."

Chris pulled his fingers out to see your hole doing a grabbing motion. 'Fuck... that's hot.' Chris threw his head back while jerking his cock. "Can't wait to pound this slutty boipussy."

You felt his fat tip push past your tight ring. "Mmm... C-Chris!-"

Smack

"YOU DON'T CALL ME THAT! You didn't learn from last time? You. Call. Me. Sir. You got that?" Chris growled/yelled. "Y-yes, Sir... It's just that... You're so big..." You whimpered.

Then with one Thrust, Chris pushed his entire cock inside. "See? You're taking all 12 inches of me! Fuck, so tight..." Chris groaned. His cock was touching your prostate.

His thick meaty cock filled your insides perfectly. Like you were made for each other. "Y-you're... splitting m-me... in two!" you moaned as you felt it throb and twitch.

"P-please... fuck me... make me your slut." you begged. Chris smirked before snapping his hips.

He began pounding into you. His big cum-filled balls smacked against your ass as he thrusts harder. "S-sir! Y-you feel... s-so good!" You moaned as you threw your head back and gripped the sheets tighter.

"You think those guys can fuck you like I do?! Only I can give you this pleasure, only me!" Chris growled as he thrust harder, hitting your prostate repeatedly.

You used the last of your strength to get up and wrapped your arms around Chris's neck. You clawed his back as he thrust more, you were sure those were gonna leave marks.

"Maybe those guys can give me more pleasure," you smirked at your fake statement. You heard a deep growl as Chris dropped you on the bed and flipped you onto your stomach.

"You fucking slut! Only I can give you this much pleasure! Those guys don't deserve you. Bet their cocks aren't as big as mines." Chris growled as he gripped your hips.

Sounds of skin-slapping and balls slapping against your ass filled the room and the others in the building had to hear it. The walls weren't soundproof.

Your cock was twitching, ready to release a load. "You're about to cum without me touching you! Well, I'm -FUCK- about to cum too." Chris groaned as you tighten around him.

"P-please... give me... y-your load!" You moaned as you arched your back to give Chris more access. "Want me to fill this slutty ass with my cum? Gonna... cum... soon!"

After 5 more thrusts, Chris reached his breaking point, and so did you.

"FUCK! I'M CUMMING! CUM WITH ME!" Chris groaned, he wrapped his hand around cock stroking it before you released it all over his hand. That was enough for him.

"FUCK!" you felt his cock twitch before pumping his hot load inside, filling you up to the brim.

*Breathing intensifies*

Chris collapses onto the bed right next to you with his cock still inside. You felt him pull out with his cum leaking out. "I'll never leave you for those two. My heart only beats for you," you said sincerely turning over to face him.

"I'll never leave you too. We'll be together until our time runs out." Chris said pulling you into a kiss filled with passion and love.

'There is still Love in a Hopeless World.'

THE END.

«••••••••••••••»

A/N: Finally this is done! I hoped you enjoy this, by 🍓Little Strawberries🍓!

[sortasirius]

“Carry On” and...Yikes.

Well clowns, looks like the clown calls were coming from inside the house this entire time.

I so desperately wish I wasn’t writing this right now.  I so wish that I could be writing something better, something joyful, something happy about this fifteen year journey with these characters.  It seems as though the show had other ideas, so in we go.

So...the dog was cool.  Also interesting that Dean was back to his breakup/grieving coping mechanisms: not making his bed, messy room, beer all over the place, Sam making breakfast, etc.

So I guess I better just start off with how...off this episode felt in regards to Dean specifically. Idk why he suddenly wanted a dog and Sam had no real interest in one, since the opposite has been true for, idk, fifteen years, but whatever, I was willing to let it go.

I thought the pie thing was a sweet scene, it was funny and nice and a good button on Dean’s pie thing.

Weird to, you know, bring up Cas and not mention his tragic ass deal and why he got got, but whatever.

I cannot physically believe that this MOTW aspect was, quite literally, so much of the plot.  Like...we figured that it was going to be an aspect, but for it to be SO MUCH?  Bruh.  I am such a fucking fool lmfao.

Again, cool to see Cas’ coat in the back.  Too bad it wasn’t addressed.

Jenny.  Bitch.  Come on.  Of ALL the villains in the FIFTEEN YEARS of Supernatural.  Jenny.  Who was in....one....episode.  Ok.

I mean that line about the high school thing was funny, I did laugh at that moment.  Fuck I love Dean Winchester.

I cannot believe I specced so much about the barn scene.  Are y’all telling me that “The Night We Met” is being claimed by......Sam and Dean.  Fuck off.

I mean, I thought Dean was going to die, and the scene actually did play out pretty similarly to how I thought.  It was probably the most powerful moment in the episode.  I am very glad that it was Dean’s choice, his choice and his peace to let go. 

“Let me look at you.  There he is.  I am so proud of you, Sam.”

I do love this, I love this because Dean is able to look at his work, the man that he raised, and tell him these things.  He was Sam’s parent, he raised Sam into the man he is today, and he should be damn proud of that.

I do love this most of scene, I really do, I love my boys, these brothers so damn much, and at least, at the very least, I have this scene of them.

Forehead touch was weird, I’m just gonna say it.

I feel like most of this episode was montages lol.  I mean I always hate sad Sam but at this point I still fully felt like we were going to get closure and we just...didn’t.

The Austin number was a cool detail, I liked that bc I picked up on it right away (since, you know, my phone is a 512 number lmao).

What a lackluster goodbye to the Bunker.  I had no clue that was going to be the last time we saw it ever.

FUCK AT LEAST I GOT MY DAMN HEAVEN BAR.

The scene with Bobby was nice, it was good to see him.  We did get our remade Heaven, that’s also nice to know.

“It ain’t just Heaven, Dean.  It’s the Heaven you deserve.”

He does deserve this.  An open Heaven, the people he loves, finally some peace, he deserves that, and I am glad that he got it.

Our second Cas mention.  Great.  Thanks guys.

I mean thanks Jim and Jensen for the microexpressions I guess lmao.

So I am supposed to believe.  That Dean.  Whose entire arc has been speaking his truth, specifically speaking his truth to Cas.  Where he has been stopped twice before this season.  Is going to just drive around in circles for forty years until Sam gets there?  Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

And Sam gets married and has a kid that he names Dean, and the unspecified dark haired woman in the back of the ten minute montage is supposed to be enough for me to buy that it’s Eileen?  Bruh.

Also it’s BACK TO BACK MONTAGES???  WITH TWO VERSIONS OF CARRY ON WAYWARD SON?

Sam’s age makeup????  Hello????  AT FIRST THEY DIDN’T EVEN AGE HIM THEY JUST PUT HIM IN A WIG?????

That cover of Wayward Son did slap but was it enough?  No.

Even that bridge moment didn’t hit right because Sam didn’t cross it?  He was just suddenly there.

It just fucking sucks.  It sucks that their reunion doesn’t land right because they...didn’t do anything when they were apart.  Sam had his kid sure but Dean literally just drove around.  No mention of Cas or of Eileen.  Nothing.  So the last moment of this show I love feels tainted and hollow and just wrong.

It sucks.  I’m not going to lie.  But the worst thing about it?  Is that it doesn’t make any sense.  I have not spent two years of my life picking apart the writing rooms in Supernatural, lauding this current team for what they’ve accomplished for it to end like this.  I know many of you will regard me as a complete tinhat freak right now, but this, to me, does not feel like an episode that Andrew Dabb wrote.  Hell, it doesn’t feel like an episode of Supernatural.

None of the arcs were completed: Dean didn’t get to speak his truth to Cas, Sam never got to become the leader, the legacy hunter he was meant to.  We don’t see them with Cas or Eileen, we don’t even hear about them.

Listen, there’s a lot that...simply doesn’t add up to me.  First of all, the episode was SHORT, and most of it was montages. They had four montages AND the episode was only 38 minutes.  The series finale of the show was shorter than any other episode and had four multiple minute montages.  Okay.  Make it make sense.  Newsflash: it doesn’t, there is simply no way I can believe that there weren’t massive cuts and reworks done to this episode on an executive level.

I know there are people who will tell me that the writers are just bad and I need to accept that they gave me a shitty ending, but after all this time with this story, especially with Dabb’s arc, he just...doesn’t do shit like this.  His arcs are always complete, always tied up well, always have a button.  But this mess?  This confusing episode that left everything hanging with a cover of Wayward Son hanging in the air?  It just doesn’t add up to me.

This wasn’t the story they were telling, this hasn’t been the story they were telling all season, and I stand by that.

So, I sure do wish I could give you a better post. I wish that we had gotten something better.  I still, after everything, love this show, and will still be here in the morning.

Thanks guys.  Love y’all.

[sukisdeliveryservice]

hello!! could i kindly request for a student campus crush! wonwoo hehe and you’re best friends and have unrequited feelings but u dont know if he feels the same so over a sleepover u tried confessing and you can continue from there hehe -🐼

let me hear you say | j. ww

✎ pairing: best friend!wonwoo x female reader

✎ genre: collegel!au, friends to lovers!au, mostly fluff

✎ warnings: none!

✎ wc: 2.40 k words

✎ notes: hi 🐼 anon! i got a little carried away with this one because soft, cuddly wonwoo makes my stomach do flips but i hope you like it! i'm not sure how i feel about my portrayal of yn here because i wanted them to be really supportive of wonwoo but kind of having a hard time because of their feelings towards him. i hope i was able to express that without portraying them as kind of eh :/

“Don’t you ever get tired?” You take a quick glance at your best friend as he folds up another piece of paper with a phone number written on it.

���Of what?”

“Of everyone in this school falling head over heels for you,” You say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, proceeding to look back down at your notes. In reality, you were trying to prevent yourself from looking at the cute (albeit, confused) way your best friend was staring at you over your abrupt question.

“Well I can’t say I’m not flattered, but there aren’t really that many people yn,”

A total lie, you think to yourself. Every time you two walked around campus, your best friend attracted the adoring stares of all your classmates like some hotshot celebrity. Yes, he was popular, and yes, he totally deserved it, but if everyone knew how dorky he was, maybe they wouldn’t be so quick to hand him their number after a single conversation.

Another lie, if everyone knew what a nerd Jeon Wonwoo actually was, they’d probably fall for him harder. You would know of course, first hand experience taught you a lot of things.

It taught you how endearing it was when Wonwoo wore oversized clothing, so that he could pull the sleeves over his palms when sipping on a hot drink at the local campus cafe. It made you realize his habit of pushing his glasses up his nose, because he was too stubborn to get the bridge adjusted. It made your insides melt whenever he was nervous because he had a habit of fiddling with his fingers. You were certain that if anyone was completely head over heels and absolutely smitten by him, it was definitely you.

“Not many people my ass,” you scoffed, “you spoke to her once, just once! And now you are holding her number.” Wonwoo laughs at your poor attempt at hiding your annoyance, “For your information, we were talking about a group project, and exchanging contact information. Nothing more, and nothing less.”

You gave a little huff before going back to pretend-studying, you definitely couldn’t focus when he was sitting right across from you. You knew you were more prone to jumping to conclusions nowadays, and you hoped that Wonwoo didn’t notice your shift in behaviour. In reality, you couldn’t help but feel a little pang of worry whenever your best friend was asked out on another date. And while he rejected the offer every time, you worried that one day he might say yes and you could lose him forever.

Not that you were against Wonwoo falling in love someday. If he found a good person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, you would support him in a heartbeat. It was just the selfish feeling that blossomed in your chest that prevented you from feeling any true happiness for these kinds of situations, and you hated it.

You knew that he would never abandon you completely, because Wonwoo was the best friend you could ever ask for. But you also knew that it would kill you inside to see him sweep someone else off their feet.

You’ve known Wonwoo since high school, and you definitely harboured a puppy crush on him all of first year. This was back when he was still trading pokemon cards in the gym stairwell and poking at you to buy him something from the milk vending machine. The crush went away eventually and you found yourself enjoying the rest of your high school career with your closest confidant by your side.

Once you both entered university, Wonwoo had a sudden growth spurt that now put him a total head taller than you. He no longer lurked at the stairwells during lunch and instead made lots of new friends that he went out for coffee with. He started dressing nicer, and once he exchanged his old glasses for a pair of round silver ones that rested on his nose so perfectly, he instantly transformed into someone straight out of a kdrama.

Now, you have caught feelings again. And you’re scared to admit that this time a puppy crush doesn’t even encapsulate everything you’ve been feeling lately. Of course Wonwoo’s sudden change in appearance didn’t spark anything new in your feelings towards him. It was the fact that he had a new air around him that was just completely different.

Wonwoo in high school was shy, and you loved him for who he was. You two had your own small circle of friends and you would spend all your time reading or playing games in his bedroom. Wonwoo in college however, was breaking out of his shell and being the first to approach people and make new friends. He was still introverted of course, shyness and introvertedness were two different things after all. But you were proud to see Wonwoo take the initiative to make plans more often and reach out.

Wonwoo has also gotten a lot more comfortable around you. He’s grown fond of resting his head on your shoulder after a long day of classes, and wrapping you in his sweaters whenever you came by his flat. In conclusion, everything about university student Wonwoo, was driving you, (and probably the entire campus) crazy.

“Hello? yn? Don’t you have a class soon?”

You swat away the hand that was waving in front of your face to meet the eyes of the cause of all your heart troubles. One smile from Wonwoo and you were in shambles. You had it really, really bad. “Right, right, sorry I was just...distracted.”

“We’re still on for tonight right? You can just head straight to my dorm after your last class.”

“Of course Won, did you really think I was going to miss out on another rewatch of Extraordinary You?”

“Of course not,” Wonwoo chuckled. You were met with another one of those soft gazes from him, and you immediately tried to break your stare. Something in your heart tells you that you should just confess right now, and that Wonwoo was a sensible individual who wouldn’t let go of your friendship if he didn’t feel the same way.

“Hey Won, can I tell you something after class later?”

“Of course.” There was that smile again. If you weren’t so busy trying to slow your heart rate down, you would have caught the way his eyes brightened at hearing your question, and the way he looked down to twindle with his fingers.

You give Wonwoo your own smile before heading off to your last detour of the day.

Sleepovers with Wonwoo always consisted of a mountain of blankets, a never ending pile of snacks and a show to watch before eventually both of you fell asleep. When you arrived at his flat just as he was adding the finishing touches to a home cooked dinner, you realized that sleepovers with Wonwoo also consisted of another thing: Your tragic inability to keep your heart rate down.

“Dinner will be ready in a bit, you can just wash up and get changed for now,” Wonwoo turns to greet you before adding some pepper to the tteokbokki.

You nod and head over to his bathroom, where you already find your change of clothes resting on the counter. Any outsider would have been under the impression that you and Wonwoo lived together, considering that pieces of you were scattered all over his apartment. From the matching toothbrushes that were kept by the sink, to the drawer reserved only for your clothes in his bedroom.

The only reason that you and Wonwoo didn’t room together upon entering university, was the fact that your parents were wary of you rooming with a boy you weren’t even dating. Not that it mattered now, considering that you at least spent two nights at his place away from your own dorm.

After you showered and changed into your pajamas, you realized that Wonwoo had given you one of his sweaters to wear, instead of the usual shirts you slept in. Usually you would have raided his bedroom after dinner to steal one (you slept much better when you wore his clothing) but this time it appeared that he had taken the initiative for you.

Once you stepped out of the bathroom, you saw that Wonwoo was already sitting at the dining table and was on his phone. It looked like he was texting someone, and you felt your heart sink a little when he laughed at a message. No, you are not going to be jealous. You are going to be happy for your friend because he deserves all the happiness in the world.

“Is that the girl from your group project?” You sat down across from him and started piling the tteokbokki and rice onto your plate. “Yeah, she said that the professor just sent out a mass email to our class, saying that we were going to be given an extension. Turns out that email was meant for another course, but everyone is already celebrating the new deadline.”

Wonwoo shuts off his phone and turns to you, “Was there something you wanted to tell me today?”

Right. You were going to confess your feelings. It was now or never, and you weren’t sure if you could hold it in much longer. “I can just tell you after dinner, I’m starving.”

Tragic. Tragic. Tragic. Why couldn’t you just say the words, “Hey Won, I have feelings for you, do you feel the same way?” Must you be in a spiraling paradox of questioning the presence of unrequited love in the relationship you had with your best friend? Yes, most definitely yes. Since the world likes to make everything difficult for those in love.

Dinner was eaten in a comfortable silence for the most part. You liked that you never felt the need to fill the air with more conversation whenever you were with Wonwoo. There were days where you would just sit in each other’s presence and do your own thing, and those days left you with lots of time to ponder on your feelings for him. Tonight was the night that you were going to say these feelings aloud for the first time...you just needed a bit more time to procrastinate.

After you both finished your food, you relocated yourselves to the couch. You fidgeted with the end of your (his) sweater while Wonwoo searched for the show on Netflix. You figured that you would let him know in the morning, since there was a chance that you two would fall asleep before the episode ended. And you didn’t want to confess beforehand either, in fear of having to endure a brutal one hour of awkward tension if he didn’t feel the same way.

“Who would have thought that out of all the days the wifi could have chosen to bail on us, they chose the day where we were going to find out whether Haru belonged to Dan-oh’s story or not,” Wonwoo fiddles with the remote some more, while you panic in silence at the thought of spending the night with no distractions from your feelings.

“It’s not like we don’t already know how it ends,” You take deep quiet breaths to calm yourself down, you can definitely make it through the night, “We can just do other things.”

“What do you have in mind?”

You couldn’t answer him right away. The only thing you had on your mind was the fact that Wonwoo’s hand was now resting on your knee and that it was baffling how good he could look in pajamas. Wonwoo, sensing your inability to form words nervously glanced up at you before moving the conversation in a different direction, “Look, I know you had something to tell me today yn, but I realized that I wanted to share something with you too. I am in love-”

“I am in love with you Jeon Wonwoo!”

There. You blurted out a long-awaited confession before the anticipation consumed you whole. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your hands in fear of seeing the look on Wonwoo’s face.

“Let me hear you say it again.”

“What?” You turn to Wonwoo, who no longer looked nervous. Instead, he wore the biggest shit-eating grin on his face that made you want to both kiss and strangle him. “Say it again.”

“Not when you look like you just won the lottery you nerd, you didn’t even say-”

“I am in love with you too yn.”

Well, you were never one to complain about the fact that your feelings were returned. But the way Wonwoo was cooing at your adorable expression of shock only made you want to shove him off the couch.

Which you proceeded to do.

“Hey! Aren’t you happy that I like you too?”

“Of course I’m happy! You didn’t have to try to beat me to my confession though, tonight was going to be my night!”

“You didn’t seem like you were going to say anything for the rest of the evening! You were going to wait until the next day weren’t you?”

Absolutely yes. “No!”

Any remaining tension in the atmosphere washed away as you and Wonwoo made fun of each other on the living room floor. You were beyond relieved and a little giddy that your best friend in the whole wide world saw you in the way that you saw him.

“But on a more serious note Won, were you also going to confess tonight too?”

“Actually no, but once you came out of the washroom wearing my sweater, I just had to say it before I tackled you with cuddles or something.”

“You gave me your sweater instead of my clothes to wear!”

“I know!” Wonwoo was holding your hand now and rubbing circles into your palm. The idea of cuddling the entire night didn’t sound so bad. “But you looked all nervous and shy and I was hoping that you were going to be the one to say something first.”

“Can we just agree that we confessed at the same time?” As the adrenaline from the confession began to slip away you suddenly became very tired, and you were hoping to just spend the night in the arms of your favourite person.

“Deal. So can we cuddle now?”

[nincompoopydoo]

Can I request a Fred Weasley oneshot with the promts "you don't love him", and "love is supposed to be good". Thanks 😊

GOOD, PURE, AND BEAUTIFUL

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader WORD COUNT: 1.9k (about 1000 words my ass) SUMMARY: The Leaky Cauldron serves as a sanctuary to drink your problems away for the night but a certain ginger always seems to find his way to you. Possible part 2? A/N: Sorry this took so long, I had to rewrite the hold dang thing and I know I said I would write around 1000 words but looks like i can’t help but be long-winded. WARNINGS: Angst. Mentions of getting drunk. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERLIST

You find solace in the pint of butterbeer, sitting at a table for two, tucked by the corner and under the archways of the Leaky Cauldron. The passing wizards in sleek venerable trench coats and witches with an odd taste in hats only act as an activity of sightseeing in keeping yourself awake, hypothesizing strangers’ lives and whether they might have gnomes lurking in their gardens or have gardens in the first place.

You are drawn to the drifting scent of butterscotch—the tankard of butterbeer sits glumly in your grasp as it has lost all its foam. You take a sip, more of a gulp, feeling the gas building up in your abdomen, and the sweetness to it almost feels sickening at this point.

Belly full yet feeling extremely empty.

The days leading up to you, being here at the Leaky Cauldron, and playing the part of the drunken witch very well weren't exactly pleasant. Flourish and Blotts seem to lose its shine in fulfilling your love for books and organization with every passing day and your relationship with the boy you met and fell madly in love with during your sixth year don’t seem to hold the same spark as before. Walter was a Ravenclaw—handsome, diligent, and incredibly smart. You and him dating had been an on-and-off situation because the one thing you two share in common is the lack of decisiveness.

Today, tonight, you and Walter are finally resolute. The true end where second, third, or fourth chances will never cease to exist from now on. With the new offer for a job in America, you and he both know drifting apart seems to be the only reasonable solution to the whole mess of what you assumed was love.

He spoke the words in this very spot, sat in the chair across from you. You had been watching the way his thumb would caress the back of his other hand and you knew, the night was bound to end in a disastrous way. An unfortunate turn of events for the witch who doesn’t truly know if she ever loved another or was ever loved.

Yet, you sit here, eyes completely dry. Far from crestfallen, far from regret. Only filled with the dread of not feeling the sadness you’re supposed to be feeling. You ignore how your shoulders feel lighter and how the tightness in your chest seems to have miraculously disappeared as soon as you watched Walter walk out of the Leaky Cauldron.

Are the butterbeers celebratory or depressing? You’re not sure.

You rest your chin on your palm, feeling like you’re in a daze. Butterbeer isn’t necessarily the type of drink to get you intoxicated but noting the rate you’re consuming each mug, it’s no surprise that you’re just a little tipsy.

Then, you see a certain ginger twin emerge from the entrance of the pub like some divine intervention. He seems to spot you from afar, waving in your direction. You lift your hand weakly in the midst of trying to figure out which of the twins you are particularly waving at. It’s Fred Weasley as it turns out, you recognize the certain strides with every step taken towards you that differs him from George. As he nears you, there’s an assurance that it’s certainly Fred with the sight of a mark on the bridge of his nose—an indicator and a technique to tell the twins apart you used when you were younger.

Fred halts by the empty seat diagonally to your left, hands shoved in the pockets.

“I have never seen you here at this hour—are you okay?” Fred cuts himself short, brows turning into a frown when he notices the unusual mess in your hair. If he knows you any better, well-kept and neat hair was all you cared about after the number of times you have furiously whined about the frizz in your hair during the summertime.

It isn’t summer now, well into the end of November. The days are colder and he remembers how your hair would especially shine in the gloom of Autumn.

“Not really.” is all you manage to say before taking the hundredth swig from your nearly empty butterbeer. You inspect the mug with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. “I swear this was full the last time I looked...”

Before you know it, he’s snatching the mug away from you, dragging it across the table as he settles into the empty chair. He stares at you with a beckoning brow, expression mixed with disappointment, disapproval, and worry.

“Hey! That’s my butterbeer, Weasley!” you whine, trying to reach for it but Fred pushes it further, hand securing around it. Without hesitation, you smack him in the arm. “Stop being a complete arse, Fred. What are you even doing here and where’s George anyway?”

Fred winces in pretense pain, dramatically rubbing the side of his arm as he tries to suppress his laughter from your sudden burst of violence. “George is back at the shop going over numbers and as far as I’m concerned, I can be anywhere I want to be. You clearly had too much to drink.”

“But it's butterbeer!”

“That is exactly my point.”

You let out a huff, leaning into your seat and running your fingers through your hair. After a moment’s silence with Fred still staring you down in the effort of getting you to talk, you finally give in. He knows you too well for you to hide anything from him.

“Walter and I broke it off.”

Fred blinks, trying to hide his wide-eyed gaze. “For good?”

You finally turn to him, nodding slowly. “For good.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice is soft when in reality he’s trying to hide his relief in hearing that things between you and Walter have finally come to a resolution because falling in and out of a relationship was driving you mad. He cares for you and always has since the very beginning and a part of him wishes for those feelings of infatuation between two melancholic teenagers will emerge back from what he assumed was already dead.

He watches you lean your head back onto your palm, seemingly sinking deeper towards the table as you try to wrap your head around the situation to form proper words with your lips. “You know what’s the worst part of it all?” Fred shakes his head, eyes never breaking contact with your own. “I don’t even feel that sad about it. Like all those years were...nothing.” Your laugh comes out as a puff of air. It’s cynical rather than finding the humor in it. For the first time, he doesn’t laugh when you do.

Another beat of silence and Fred is contemplating whether his next words that beg to be freed from his mind are appropriate in a time like this. Although he knows how he tends to speak his mind without thinking of the consequences, he knows to tread lightly around you from the times when his words nearly tore your friendship apart.

Still, he knows to be honest with you.

Through the chatter of the crowd at the Leaky Cauldron whilst a few men by the other corner of the pub begin to break into singing a drinking song, Fred’s voice comes off as a whisper, barely audible. “You don’t love him, don’t you?”

Your gaze had initially drifted to the bunch of rowdy men, rendering verses about magical whisky and beer. Yet, they now return to hold a certain ginger’s gaze. You want to be offended by his question because of how it supposedly hurts the raw wound of feeling sorry for yourself. Your love life hasn’t been the best and your tendency to jump to your own defense about it is a clear note to everyone that it simply shouldn’t be questioned.

But it’s Fred. The one who has constantly looked out for you when other boys and men seem to take advantage of your hopeless romantic side. The one who would pull a prank on George just to see you smile. The one who ended up taking you to the Yule Ball as his date because Walter, at the time, rejected you like you were nothing. You should have known that it was never meant to be.

You know to be honest with Fred Weasley.

“I don’t think I ever did.”

He doesn’t say anything, wanting to listen as he waits for you to conceive the proper words to finally speak your mind. It is clear you want to let it out and let off of the burden that has trapped you under its knees, constantly looming over your shoulders and causing dread and fear of losing so much in such a short time. The band of merry men as the whole pub begins to join the group in singing about the joys of alcohol, life, and love in the tune of a traditional Scottish muggle song.

You wonder how can these people be so happy in a time of an impending war. Maybe, it's temporary, meant to drown the hurt and sorrows for tonight and when morning comes, they'll return to opening the stitches of their wounds. When morning comes, you will either wake up at this very table or in an empty bed. Either way, you’ll be alone.

Now, all you want to do is get all your worries and troubles off your chest, not wanting to feel so empty and suffocated. “Love,” you pause, inhaling deeply. ”Love is supposed to be good and pure and beautiful. Love was what I thought I had and right now, I don’t know what to make of it, Fred...I thought I was going to marry him someday.” You find yourself sighing once more, already feeling the lightness in your chest. Running your fingers along your cheek, you close your eyes to help yourself focus through your rapid thoughts and your dazed mind. “Everything is going wrong. I hate my job. I hate my bed. I’m drunk on butterbeer for Merlin’s sake. I feel so, so alone—”

“Ah, and that’s where you are wrong.”

Your eyes are open now, narrowed from adjusting to the sudden brightness of the candlelit place. They drift to Fred who seems very content. He then places his hand on yours and you realize you had been fiddling with your fingers for the last minute. His hand is warm on yours and the heat gradually travels to your chest, heartbeat now slightly picking up in speed. If you listen close enough, you would be able to hear it.

“You are never alone. Not when I’m around and you know I will always be around.”

His words tug at the side of your lips, now widening into a faint smile. It’s small but it’s the kind that reaches your eyes and raises your cheeks. “Thank you, Freddie.”

Then, you watch him abruptly come to a stand, chair screeching. He tugs on the lapels of his coat, adjusting it with the roll of his shoulders. He grabs the back of his chair, and leans forward, towards you. “George and I are visiting the Burrow for the weekend. I’m sure mum won’t mind you staying over.”

You blink, mouth slightly agape at his offer. “I don’t want to trouble anybody—”

“Don’t be silly. Mum loves you more than George and I combined. And she loves us a lot!”

You laugh and it’s genuine this time, knowing how Molly will be always whispering to you about what makes Fred a good husband in the kitchen when you’re washing up the plates and how she will never let you go to bed hungry.

The burrow is like your second home and right now, home is all you want and need.

“Alright, then.”

[reuinx]

Red Lights (Yelena Belova x Reader)

Summary: You've been having a tough time lately. It's Yelena's goal to brighten up your day. The day takes the form of an afternoon spent in Yelena's car teasing, laughing, and singing. It looked like the day couldn't possibly get any better until tragedy struck.

Prompt by Anon ask: “Kissing your lover’s forehead as they’re dying in your arms but reader is dying please and thank you “​

Word Count: 2,047

Paring: Yelena Belova x Reader

Warnings: Brief mention of blood (Gore kept extremely minimal), tragic accident resulting in death.

Translations:  Malishka (Baby),  Dorogoy (Love)

Masterlist

Have you ever had those days when nothing goes right? You miss the bus, you say the wrong thing, you lose your temper, and you spend the rest of the day wondering what you could have done differently? It was one of those days. Using this logic, you are faced with a dilemma - you don't want to stay at home, but you don't want to stay alone either. You tentatively texted Yelena to see if she was free; she was. Summer heat caressed your exposed arms, leaving you with sun-kissed skin. 

Despite the heat of the summer, you kicked pebbles across the ground like a child. The sound of her approaching car preceded your sight. The noise of her exhaust was followed by the blaring of Babooshka by the brilliant Kate Bush on her radio. Typical Yelena. She was driving her obnoxious yellow Ford Mustang; it was convertible. She made sure she knew that. It was her pride and joy, and she loved nothing more than it; well, she did love something more than that car, you.

Parking along the footpath, she had the roof down, and her blonde hair was flowing. While one hand was on the steering wheel, the other was hanging outside her window. In a pure white shirt, she exposed the muscles tense in her arm. Her sunglasses slowly slipped down the bridge of her nose as she peered over at you. She was undressing you with her eyes. She was chewing gum; she moved her lips slowly to match her motion.

“Still moody are we, Malishka?” Yelena called out from her car. The smile on her face was always devilish. Even though today didn't go as planned, you felt like it would be heaven on earth with Yelena.

“No”, You replied flatly as Yelena pushed her sunglasses back up to hide her eyes; she turned to face straight ahead of her as you made your way towards the car.

“I’m going to keep doing it until you admit you’re moody.”

“Keep doing wha-“ Before you could finish, She shoved her hand down on the horn as the already noisy auto began honking. Those who passed by started looking at the car with wonder. Redness flushed your face as you raced to the car.

“Yelena! Stop!”

“Mhm?”

“I’m not-“ You swiftly shook your head as the horn continued its outcry. She was stubborn, but so were you. She always won; there was no fighting with Yelena.

“I’m moody!” The moment you admitted it, she took her hand off the horn, resting her head back against the headrest as she stared up at you with a toothy grin.

“God, I hate you. You know that right?”

“Nah, you love me actually.” She was right about that. Yelena leaned across to open the door for you as you made your way to the passenger side. After entering, you shut the door behind you and automatically turned down the radio.

“Trying to go deaf are you?”

“Mhm?”

“I said are you trying to go deaf?”

“What?”

“I said- Oh forget it! Stop teasing me. I’m just looking after you!”

“What are you, my mother?”

“Feels like it sometimes, El.”

“Ha,” Yelena grumbled. Your laughter today was finally made possible because of Yelena's reaction. You were comforted by her. Talking to your person always made your worries go away. Yelena tutted and pulled your seatbelt into the latch plate as she leaned over your body, grasping your belt to make sure it was secure. Yelena put the car into gear as it began to move, the engine rumbling to life as she drove at the appropriate speed. She would never dream of speeding with you in the car.

“Do you want to talk about today?”

“No no, it was just one of those days.”

“Good, I don’t have to kill anyone...”

“No killing anyone.”

“Unless…”

“No”, You shushed her as you glanced at her with the corner of your eye; Yelena was smiling. She looked genuinely happy, which was a relief to you. She radiated happiness onto you; it was impossible to escape.

“It’s a beach day today.” The comment came from Yelena.

“Are you going to throw me in?”

“Actually… I’m still debating it.”

“What’s the pros and cons?”

“Con is that you’re pissed.”

“What’s the pro?”

“It will make you laugh.” You hadn't encountered anyone with the same kind of personality as her. Selflessness characterized her. Her heart was pure gold. Although she was tough, when her walls were broken, she became the softest person you'd ever met. It was easy to love her. She reached over for your hand; she took it in her hand before placing your hand on the clutch. To change gears, she held her hand yours, moving your hand in the desired direction. She was reluctant to let go but eventually cleared her throat to ask. Freeing your hand.

“Will you change the CD, Dorogoy?”

With ease, you opened the glovebox and located the CD binder. The 2000s saw a lot of popularity with these. Not now. Yelena's argument "It can fit so many CD's in it!" She wasn't wrong. It did. There was tons of CD's from all different genres in it. She bought CDs of the songs you played on your phone, not just the ones she liked. Even though she hid it from you, you started to notice when her binder began to fill up. You flicked through the CD’s until one caught your attention. As you saw a blank CD with writing on it, you paused. "For You" is spelled in Yelena's impeccable handwriting. While her eyes rested on the road, you turned to look at her, returning your focus to the CD. Yelena was smiling softly at you while you were busy changing CDs.

“You made this for me?”

“I did. I wanted to make you a playlist and well, there’s no Bluetooth so I did the best I can.”

“You’re too sweet. But… You do know downloading music and burning it on a CD is pretty illegal.”

“If your worrying over me downloading music, you should see what else I do” Yelena released a chuckle as the music played from the radio. You leaned over as you adjusted the volume up as the song The Chain by Fleetwood Mac came through.

“I know you like them wood people”, Yelena murmured under her breath. Suddenly, you felt the excitement in your stomach rise. What else was on this CD? We get so caught up in the big things when we fall in love with someone. The little things are always the most important. You weren't just going to sing; you were going to perform as well. As you sang at the top of your lungs, you began to sway in your chair.

“And if you don't love me now -“ Your hand clenched as if it was holding an invisible microphone as you held it to Yelena’s lips. She smiled, licking her lips as she finished the lyric.

“You will never love me again.” She sang without hesitation, and while her voice is usually harsh, it was smooth and soft this time. When you heard her singing, you burst into laughter and clapped your hands in glee. The music picked up, and your hands moved with the lyrics. You didn't miss a word. Yelena was beginning to tap with the beat of the song on the steering wheel, laughing at how passionate you had gotten.

“I could listen to you forever.”

“Unlucky for you, you have forever with me”, You chirped out as Yelena frowned, turning her head quickly to glance at you.

“Why would that make me unlucky?”

“I’m a pain in the ass.”

“True but you’re my pain in the ass” She sounded more and more sincere with every word she said. Your singing continued unabated. As soon as the next red light came on, Yelena slowed her car down to a stop. It was now possible to see the beach. You were too busy performing for nobody to notice that Yelena was watching you. When she saw you happy, her eyes glowed with childhood excitement. All she wanted was for you to be satisfied. Because you were focused on the big things like the beach, you missed the little things like how Yelena looked at you. Anyone would kill for the kind of look she gave you. Yelena’s expression suddenly changed when you looked at her, her face filled with horror. She wasn’t making a face at you but something behind you.

“What’s wrong?” Suddenly, everything went black. You lost all sense of time and purpose of self. Feeling an overwhelming sense of emptiness, you thought it overtake you. You felt alone. Yelena? Where was Yelena? Was Yelena okay? Had you fallen asleep? There was a noticeable pressure in your chest, almost as if it was being squeezed. You felt your lips tingle, and your lungs fill with air.

"Hey!" A distorted voice echoed inside your head, and you couldn't understand what was being said or even who it was?

"Wake up! Please wake up!" It was beginning to become more legible until a voice broke through the silence.

"Malishika!" Yelena, it was Yelena.

The world was blurry as your eyes snapped open. As you blinked rapidly, flashing lights obscured your view of the figure above you.

"Stay with me, stay with me please." You now knew what the pressure on your chest was; Yelena had been pressing hard and fast on the center of your chest. It was her rescue breaths that tingled your lips. The haze in your vision was clearing as you could see Yelena. It was evident from her face that she had been crying. Spikes of blood could be seen on her face as sweat ran down her forehead. It wasn't her blood. It was yours. 

In your disorientation, you did not know where you were. You were lying on the road when you suddenly remembered being in the car. Your eyes focused on Yelena's car as you tilted your head to look past her. Now you know what Yelena saw behind you. As you were sitting on the passenger side, a car ploughed straight into you through the red light. Yelena must have rescued you from the wreck. With growing dizziness and fatigue, your eyes began to flicker shut. The feeling of Yelena grasping your cheeks caused your eyes to dart open.

"Don't you dare close your eyes on me. I've lost everyone, I can't lose you too. I just can't. Please. Please don't go anywhere.. Just stay. Please just stay. I need you, god I need you. Please." She was begging you, pleading with you. The moment you tried to move, your body refused to react; you were powerless. With one hand on your stomach, she firmly grasped it. It was now clear that her previously pristine white t-shirt was heavily stained red. You felt queasy thinking that was yours.

"Hey, I'm okay. I'm okay baby. It's okay." You managed to whisper out as your voice was weak.

"It's not okay, it's really not okay. I don't know what to do! I can't stop the bleeding" Yelena's voice was firm, her jaw extending with the words she spoke as she tried to contain herself. She sobbed, her eyes flicking upward.

"It's okay, El. You can stop. Just stop."

"Don't fucking say that, don't ever fucking say that. You aren't going anywhere, you aren't. This is not a goodbye! Don't give me that bullshit. The paramedics will be here soon, they will! " She snapped.

"Baby, it's okay. It's going to be okay. Yelena? Do you hear me? "I love you. I love you so much. You know that, right?"

"I love you. God, I love you. Don't forget that, you hear me?" Yelena dipped her head down as she slowly pressed her lips against your forehead. She placed her free hand into your locks of hair as she slowly began to run her fingers through the strands of your hair.

"Baby?" She called out one last time. Your eyes locked onto her green eyes, admiring them one last time. The world around you faded to grey; the last thing you heard was Yelena's scream.

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Almost (c.e.)

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word Count: ~5.9k

Summary: You and Chris were set up on a blind date by your mutual friends. Sparks flew, but you never heard from him again. Two years later, you come face-to-face with him once more for their friends wedding.

Warnings: Some angst, swearing, not much else

A/N: This is a mixture of the movie “Life as We Know It” (mmm Daddy Josh Duhamel 🤤), a dating experience I had, and one scene from One Tree Hill. Enjoy.

My Masterlist

                    Two years ago…

My heart is pounding all the way to my ears. My hands are shaking under the table. My knee bounces uncontrollably as I wait.

I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I let her convince me to do this?

“You haven’t had a boyfriend for as long as I’ve known you.” My best friend so pointedly mentioned when we were out to lunch last week.

 “What’s wrong with that?” I counter.

“I’ve known you for three and a half years.” She deadpans. Even without looking at her, I know she has her eyebrow raised at me and her lips are pursed.

“Your point?” I know she thinks my serious lack of companionship these past few years is wearing on me, but it’s been quite the opposite. Not being attached is freeing. I can do what I want when I want; I don’t have anyone to answer to. If I want to sleep until 3 on a Saturday, I’m going to do it. If I don’t want to socialize with anyone, I won’t. If I want to take a spontaneous road trip, I’m going to do it. My life is my own and that’s how I like it.

“I want my best friend to have someone to experience life with.”

My shoulders dropped, sighing in defeat. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation.

“I want you to be as happy as I am.” I see the love in her eyes as her mind goes to her boyfriend and their new relationship. They’ve only been together for a few months, but I know that this is it for her. She’s a smitten kitten and he is equally as infatuated with her. They’re sickeningly cute. “Which is why I think you need to meet one of his friends-”

“Lemme stop you right there,” I interrupt her, “I hate blind dates.”

“You’ve never been on one.”

“And there’s a reason for that.” She rolled her eyes at me. “They’re cliché, they’re awkward for both parties, and they never amount to anything, thus being a total waste of time.”

She sighed, “Ever the skeptic.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“Regardless,” she continues, “I think you’ll really like this guy. He’s already expressed interest in you.”

Like that makes everything better. “Great so now I have to live up to his impossible expectations of me when I know absolutely nothing about him.” As if the idea of a blind date wasn’t bad enough, now it’s only a semi-blind date. There’s no doubt in my mind that she has hyped me up impossibly high, that’s what a best friend is for. However, when your confidence level is next to none and already skeptical of the pending meeting, there’s no way he’ll like who I am in reality.

“I can tell you anything you want to know about him.” She is bargaining with me. She really wants me to meet this guy. She wouldn’t be trying this hard if she didn’t believe we would hit it off.

“Well is he nice?” This was the only real question I had. If he isn’t kind then there’s really no future.

“Incredibly!” She continues to tell me of the many things he has done for a charity he started a few years ago and slowly but surely she was starting to convince me. If he was that generous then he has to have a good heart and therefore is a good man.

How bad could it be?

I check my phone, glancing at the time. Great, he’s late. That can’t be a good start.

Numerous reasons why popped into my head.

Reason one: he saw me and bolted.

Reason two: he got into an accident on the way here and he could be in the hospital.

Reason three: he changed his mind and decided to stand me up.

More and more played through my head as I sipped my drink. 

By the time I was on my second drink, I was convinced he wasn’t showing up. I knew this was a ridiculous idea. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I never should have listened to her.

I chugged the rest of my drink followed by some water before standing up to leave some cash. I was slightly humiliated for actually thinking this would be any different than all of my expectations.

My shoulder rammed into another as I turned to leave.

“Oh my, God, I’m so sorry!” A hand steadied me, gently grabbing the shoulder he ran into. “Are you okay?”

“My already small ego is a little bruised, but I think I’ll live.” I looked up to meet my assaulter’s eyes and immediately I froze.

Holy shit, it’s Chris Evans.

His piercing blue eyes were staring right at me, his concern was directed towards me. In all of his charming, ray of sunshine, bearded glory, he was here.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late. Traffic was insane over the bridge. I would have called but I don’t have your number.” He half-smirked but not in a cocky way. I’d seen him do it in interviews before. He could have come up with a lame excuse, but somehow I knew he was telling the truth.

“No, it’s okay. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief, his gorgeous and perfect smile taking over his features. He looked down at the table and it disappeared. “Were you leaving?”

“Uh,” I stammered, “I was because I thought I was being stood up.”

“I feel awful. Please let me make it up to you. Let’s sit down, have a nice dinner, and get to know each other.”

I hesitate, now even more nervous than I was before.

As if sensing my hesitation, he decided to sweeten the pot a bit to persuade me, “We can even get dessert.”

I chuckle at his attempt. That’ll do it though. I sit back down with him following suit, finally starting our date.

We talked about everything. Anything and everything. No topic was off limits. Hours went by but it felt like minutes. We didn’t even know how long we’d been there until our waiter came to tell us that the restaurant was closed. We left and walked around the city until the night sky was giving way to the morning. He accompanied me back to my car, gave me the best hug I’ve ever received and a kiss on the cheek, promising we’ll get together again soon, and opening and closing my car door for me. I drove away with the biggest smile on my face and literal butterflies in my stomach. That was the best date I’d ever been on.

When I made it back to my apartment with the early morning rays peeking through my shades, I had a text message waiting for me from him. Just a simple good night, he had had an amazing time, and he couldn’t wait to see me again.

I fell asleep, hopeful. Hopeful that I would see him again, that this could maybe go somewhere. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it was hard not to. I hadn’t felt this way in an exceptionally long time. I haven’t been on this good of a date in equally as long. I can’t wait to see him again…

                      Present day...

I finally pull into the parking lot after an hour stuck in traffic. My 12-hour day at work today has taken a lot out of me. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. Thankfully though, my 2-week-long vacation starts tomorrow. After that, I have fourteen days of no working, no getting up at the ass crack of dawn to be able to drive in miserable traffic, no dealing with difficult or boring co-workers. Just fourteen days of rest and relaxation, after the wedding of course.

My best friend and her fiancé are getting married on Saturday. I’ve watched them go through all of their highs and lows throughout the last few years and when he came to me telling me he planned on proposing, I couldn’t have been happier for them. He even asked me to secretly photograph the moment for her. She was more than surprised about everything.

Now their wedding is here and everyone couldn’t be more excited to celebrate them.

Tomorrow is their rehearsal dinner. The wedding party and their plus ones are all invited.

I walk into my apartment, immediately relieving myself from the confines of my shoes. A heavenly scent registers to me and I’m carried all the way to the kitchen. I see my sexy boyfriend standing at the stove with his back towards me.

“Hey babe,” he calls without turning around.

I hum, happily making my way towards him. I wrap my arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his back. “What is that unbelievable smell?”

He chuckles, vibrating through his chest. “Your favorite, of course.”

I hum again, “You spoil me, baby.”

He chuckles again, turning in my arms. His handsome face finally came into view. His gorgeous brown eyes look into mine as I get lost in his. For the past year, I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a while. Since the day I met him, it was like everything fell into place. He’s sweet, ambitious, funny, kindhearted, passionate, and just overall the best man I had ever met. He makes me so happy…

Oh who am I kidding? He’s perfect. He is everything I ever wanted. If I made a list of all of the qualities I wanted in a husband, he would check off every single box.

But the feelings I have had for him over the last year are nothing compared to what I had in one night for him. I find myself wishing his eyes were bright blue instead of dark brown. I wish his arms were around me instead of the ones around me right now. The butterflies from that night have stayed dormant ever since.

I don’t know what happened after that night. I honestly thought we had a good time that night. Conversations flowed seamlessly. We made each other laugh so hard we had tears running down our faces. The physical connection was there- at first he had his arm around my shoulders as we walked around town, but as time went on he slowly moved lower around my waist, eventually intertwining our hands together until we arrived back at our cars. He even said that he wanted to see me again.

But I never heard from him again after that one text message. No call, no text, not even a message from my friend’s boyfriend. Nothing. I was disappointed beyond belief. I didn’t think he was that guy: the type to ditch someone without any explanation or goodbye. I thought I understood him to be a gentleman. Everything I had read about him pointed to him being one of the purest humans in the world. This was the opposite of all of that.

From that day on, I’ve loathed him. He gave me the perfect evening and then cut me off cold turkey from anything further. I have a three strike rule. His first: he was late. His second: he tricked me into liking him. His third: he lied to me. Three strikes and he’s out.

I have tried not to look back since. It’s not without its difficulties though since he’s literally everywhere. On magazine covers, in commercials, movie trailers, streaming services- he’s there. Why did he have to be such a successful actor? If he weren’t, it would make for forgetting him that much easier.

No closure. No answers. Nothing.

The rehearsal dinner went smoothly the next night which hopefully was foreshadowing for the big day itself. 

A majority of us were standing around about to start when the doors loudly being opened drew everyone’s attention away from our milling about. A man stood in the middle of the doorway then strode in like he owned the place. The closer he got, the more the details of his face came into focus.

No. Freaking. Way.

I look toward my best friend. She looked like she wasn’t shocked he was late, but she knew he was coming. I creep up behind her and clear my throat. Instantly she cringed.

“Did you forget to tell me something?” I whisper to her.

She sends me an apologetic smile, “Well, I actually put off telling you ‘cause I didn’t know how you would react and then I meant to tell you last night but with the whole ‘I’m getting married in two days’ buzz took over and now the rehearsal is here-”

“Just please tell me I’m not walking in with him.” I beg.

She chuckles nervously before she escaped to go greet him with her fiancé.

I turn to her sister who is also one of my closest friends. “Did you know he was going to be a groomsman?”

The guilt written in her face tells me everything I need to know. “She made me promise not to tell you.”

I groan, “The loyalty level around here is staggeringly low.”

I head over to where my boyfriend is standing and take comfort in his arms before I have to deal with the man who broke my heart.

“Are you okay?” He asks a little confused by my actions.

I nod, “Just tired from last night.” He chuckles at the mention of the night before, squeezing me into his chest.

“Alright everyone! Time to get started.” The wedding coordinator beckons us all to the back entrance of the barn standing next to our corresponding wedding party member. I stand right in front of the Maid of Honor and Best Man. I kept my eyes forward focusing on anything but the guy who took his place next to me.

“It’s good to see you,” He murmurs to me over the instructions of the coordinator.

I scoff and roll my eyes. He has the nerve to say that to me after two years of silence. I imagined a million times what it would be like to see him again. I’d imagined a lot of screaming with possible hitting. Or I thought about the ever-effective, old fashioned silent treatment. He doesn’t deserve to know that our one night out together effected me so much and I’ve carried a rather large torch for him ever since. At the very moment, it will be the latter, but there’s no telling what tonight and tomorrow will bring.

“Now ladies, rest- don’t grab- your hand near the crook of his arm. Men, keep your arm at that angle with an open hand resting on your stomach- no fist. And don’t forget to smile- this is a happy day!” As quickly as he showed up, the coordinator was on to the bride and her father before either of us could register he was there.

I begrudgingly did as I was instructed, “resting” my hand on his bare forearm, holding a stand-in bouquet for the occasion in my other hand.

“Are you not going to talk to me?” He speaks again but I ignore him once more.

Thankfully that was when it was our turn to walk down the aisle. For the rest of the rehearsal, he didn’t get a chance to say anything else. As soon as we were done, I go straight for my boyfriend. I figured there’s no way he would approach me if I were with another man.

We all head to the restaurant afterwards to celebrate the last night before our friends begin their lives together as husband and wife. I keep my distance from Chris, always sticking close with my boyfriend.

The one moment I was alone was when I went to the bathroom. I thought for the few minutes I wouldn’t be in danger.

However I was wrong.

As soon as I step out an arm shot out in front of me. A very pale muscular arm.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me for the next two days?”

I duck under his arm fully planning on continuing what I set out to do.

“Y/N,” he grabs my arm, “will you please talk to me? What did I do to make you so mad at me?”

I whip around hopefully sending daggers his way. “Are you serious right now?”

“She finally speaks!” He exclaims.

“Because I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Like, I don’t think I heard you right.” All of the feelings I’ve been burying for two years were making their way up to the surface and I don’t think I can stop them. “We had a fantastic night. It was literally the best night of my life, it was the most comfortable with a guy that I had ever been. You made me laugh, you gave me butterflies, you helped me feel for the first time in years.” I try to swallow down the lump that was forming in my throat. “You told me you wanted to see me again. You made me excited for the future for once in my life… and then you took it away.”

With every second that passed, his expression got closer and closer to utter defeat: his shoulders slumped, his grip on my arm loosened, his jaw slowly unclenched, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You were late,” I hold up one finger, “You tricked me,” two fingers,” “You lied to me.” Three fingers were up and in front of his face for emphasis. “Three strikes and you’re out.”

I back away from him, having nothing more I wanted to say. As soon as I turned the corner, I felt liberated… for about five seconds. When that passed, devastation hit. For the last two years, I’ve held out hope- I tried not to- but I did, that maybe someday something could happen between us. That maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off that night.

Now that the moment of confrontation has come and gone, I feel all the hope fade away. All of those possibilities I pictured have left the building. Being with him is no longer an option. I have my boyfriend who makes me happy, who gives me everything I could possibly want.

The rest of the night went on without another incident. Chris kept his distance. However, I could feel his eyes on me for every second that passed as we sat at the table. It was a relief when we finally left and could retreat back to our hotel rooms for the night. The bride and I got to stay in a suite that we’ll all be getting ready in in the morning. They wanted to uphold the “not seeing each other the night before the wedding,” even though they’ve lived with each other for a year and a half now.

On the wedding day, everything went according to plan. Everyone was on time to hair and make-up, pictures went flawlessly, the weather cooperated with everything, Chris didn’t attempt to talk to me at all- it was a perfect day to watch two people who love each other commit to the other for the rest of their lives.

But then came the reception. That’s when I knew apparently all bets would be off. The ceremony was over. Niceties would wear off as more and more alcohol is consumed. I was not looking forward to it.

We make our ridiculous entrances and take our seats at the head table. We eat then speeches were made. Lots of laughs were had as the Best Man dished on stories he had with the groom growing up, a few tears were shed at her sister’s after recounting the moment the bride knew he was the man of her dreams- overall I’d say they were a success.

Again, I felt his eyes on me, burning holes in the side of my head from the other side of the groom for the entire dining portion of the evening. I kept myself from glancing in his direction, instead focusing on the conversations with the bride’s sister next to me and my boyfriend who is across the way- anything not to meet his eyes.

Finally the DJ announces it was time for all to convene on the dancefloor after the specialty dances. I immediately see my boyfriend start to stand, knowing he’d been ready for this all night. I’d been looking forward to dancing with him all night as well, I even removed my shoes in anticipation. As I stand up, a hand is held out in front of me. I knew whose hand it was. I remember staring at it as he would rub his lips on our date. The strength of it as it intertwined with mine as we walked down the streets of our town, the safeness I felt as he squeezed it if he detected I was getting anxious around a group of people and I needed the reassurance. I knew that hand well, unfortunately.

“Dance with me?” He nearly whispers in my ear. I didn’t realize he was that close until I could feel said whisper on my neck. I contain the shiver that runs down my spine at how husky his voice is. God I’ve missed that…

No! I will not be enchanted by him again. He does not deserve me.

I exhale the breath I was holding, it comes out a lot harsher than I expected. “No, thank you.” I turn away from him, but his hand gently grabs my arm stopping me from going any further.

He whispers again, “He’s not good enough for you,” before walking away.

I’m frozen in place. I glare at his retreating back as he makes his way over to the bar. My mouth hangs open in disbelief. How dare he… How fucking dare he assume anything about me or my relationship. He doesn’t know anything about what our relationship is like. My boyfriend treats me so well, spoils me even though I know I don’t deserve it. He listens to me, he cares about me, and he makes me laugh until I cry- he’s everything I’ve wanted in a man. Chris is the one who had his chance and subsequently blew it. He has no right to judge or even comment on my relationship when he knows absolutely nothing about it.

I hurriedly make my way to my awaiting boyfriend and pull him onto the crowded dancefloor. “You okay?” He asks me, “Did he say something to upset you?”

“Nothing worth repeating.” All I wanted to do was forget about him and his irrelevant feelings towards my relationship…

…Except I couldn’t. His words rattled me. Does he see something I don’t? He told me on our date that he’s an excellent judge of character so he wouldn’t say something like that unless he got a bad feeling, right? Either that or he said it just to get under my skin and force me to talk to him. No matter the reason I hate him for it because my pride won’t let it stand.

I spot him leaning against the bar, staring directly at the two of us over the rim of his glass. His perfect eyebrow quirks up at the eye contact, that sets my blood to boiling. He thinks he’s so smug. I wish I could just slap that stupid hidden smirk right off his perfect face…

Following a few dances, I mutter something about him going to dance with the bride to my boyfriend before exiting the dancefloor. I rush out of the barn, away from the crowd needing some air from his suffocating gaze. I find a little lit area that’s perfect for pictures. There are rectangular hay bales set together as a makeshift U-shaped bench with some low watt bulbs strung up above between two poles. It would be serene if I weren’t already on edge.

After taking a few deep breaths, I finally feel like I can speak without yelling. “You had no right.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know he followed me out here. It’s exactly what I wanted him to do, just like it was his intention to get under my skin. As much as I wished to avoid this conversation it seems that we can’t go on without it. We may tear each other apart in the process, but this is my chance for closure. This is my only opportunity to get the answers I’ve been needing to move on for the past two years. Two years of wondering what went wrong after the most perfect date I’ve ever been on with an equally perfect man has been eating at my heart and mind. I hated always wondering “what if” or “what would I be doing right now if I were with him” especially when I started dating my boyfriend. I had no answers as to why those questions could not be. I thought with time I’d stop asking them, thinking I’d never see the man again. He’s a big movie star, why would he wonder about a woman he went on one date with?

As I expected, his deep baritone voice comes behind me, but his words do little to ease my nerves. In fact they set them off even more so than before. “I’m sorry.”

I scoff at his half-hearted apology, knowing he doesn’t mean it at all. “Oh bite me, Christopher.” I turn around to face him. God he looks even better out here. The subtle gold glow from the lights are complimenting his skin tone, they make his baby blues shine which just frustrates me more.

“Please, Y/N,-” He takes a step closer to me, but I won’t have that. 

“No,” I take a step back keeping the needed distance between us for fear I may strangle him. “I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit excuses. You had no right to pass judgment on a relationship that you know absolutely nothing about.”

He slips his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “Oh, I’ve seen enough.”

“Really?” I jut my hip out, resting my hand on it. “In the two days you’ve been here, you think you’ve got us all figured out?”

“Yes,” he answers with conviction. 

My shaking hands clench into fists, trying my damnedest not to lose control. I entangle them into my hair as best as I can without ruining the work the hairstylist did this morning before running them down my face. He has some nerve. 

“We had one night. One night! One nearly perfect night together and suddenly that makes you an expert on what is good for me?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘an expert’-”

“I wouldn’t say anything!” I interrupt, “I never heard from you again. Now after two years, you come in here acting like you know anything about me or my relationship? Who do you think you are?”

“A man who made a mistake!” He snaps.

There was a long pause. I never expected to hear that from him. All these years I wanted to think the worst of him for leaving me hanging like that. He got my hopes up, thinking we may have a future together only for them to come crashing back down to Earth when he never contacted me again. I wondered and wondered if maybe I read the signals wrong. Maybe I took his flirting as more than it was. Maybe the small gestures like his arm around my shoulders, on the small of my back, or the hand holding were only him being friendly. I wracked my brain going over every single detail of the night to try and pinpoint a reason for him not to have called me afterwards. I found nothing, which was equally as frustrating.

“Alright, I made a mistake.” He moves to sit on one of the hay bales. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his head in his hands, letting out a huge sigh. “God I wanted everything with you.”

Once again, I’m frozen by his words. He what? But that doesn’t make sense. His words and his actions don’t line up- how could that be?

He removes his hands from his face, staring at the grass. “After that night, I wanted it all. I wanted to settle down, get the house with a white picket fence in the suburbs, carry you through the threshold after our wedding day, bring our children home from the hospital, watch them grow until we’re old and gray. I wanted everything.”

My heart aches. All of that was exactly what I wanted, especially with him. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes, my heart breaking mourning the loss of what we could have had by now if he had only said something.

I also find my anger growing as well. If he felt all of that, why did he not contact me again? Why did he give me hope that our night out together could have been the start of something good and then taken it away just as quickly?

“But?” There had to be a “but” coming after his statement. Clearly something stopped him from pursuing the possibility of “us,” destroying any future we could have had.

He sighs, “but…” he finally looks up at me with more emotion in his eyes than I was expecting. There was contemplation, confusion, honesty, agony…

I look away. In an instant I knew what he was about to say. It makes complete sense. He was at the height of his career, shooting movie after movie all around the world for a majority of the year. How would he have had time to have a relationship mixed in with that? He couldn’t.

“Your career was more important,” I interject, “I get it. I do.” I couldn’t fault him for choosing work over someone he just met, no matter how much he claims to have liked me right off the bat. He was going to be busy. We probably wouldn’t have had a lot of time to see each other. It’s not like I could give up my career to follow him. Besides even if I could have, he wouldn’t want that. He said so himself. He wanted someone who was independent; who could do their own thing and not be enveloped in his crazy life.

He stands up and steps closer to me, “no, that wasn’t it. I promise you that wasn’t it.”

There’s that word. Promise. He promised we’d see each other again soon after our night together. But he broke that.

“Then what was it?” My voice cracks at the end. I can feel my reserves slipping the more he speaks. I didn’t realize how much I missed his voice until now. I haven’t seen any of the movies he’s been in the last few years. I have him and his hashtag blocked on all social media platforms so I don’t see anything of his on any of my timelines. My other friends think I don’t like him (only my best friend and her now husband know about our date). To hear it again brings back all of the good memories we made together in that short night and all of the emotions I’ve been holding back since. “I have been wracking my brain for years wondering what went wrong after that.”

“I got scared,” he finally admits the truth. “I got scared of how much I liked you and how much I wanted to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From me,” he casts his gaze down at his hands as he fidgets with them, “and my life. I didn’t want to subject you to the chaos that is my life. I know what my fans would do to you if we were in a relationship, I was trying to protect you from all of the ugly that being with me comes with.”

So that’s what he was afraid of? He was afraid our relationship would inevitably end exactly like his last one? His “fans” were horrible to her. They sent death threats to her and her family members, always commenting negatively on her social media pages all because she was dating him. I remember reading about it right after it happened. I knew that side of his fandom was toxic. But did I care? No. Did I think I couldn’t handle it? I honestly don’t know, but would I have been willing to deal with it for him? Yes. I would have given up anything to be with him. That’s precisely why he did what he did. He didn’t want me giving anything up for him because he knows I’d be giving up any semblance of privacy I had if I were in a public relationship with him.

If I had known these were the reasons why he ghosted me, I would have been broken hearted but I would have understood. Hell, I probably would have fallen more in love with him if I knew that, not fallen in loathe.

He continues, “I thought that if I never contacted you again, you could move on”- he clears his throat-“and find someone better than me who could give you the normal life you deserve. Which as much as I wish I couldn’t, I see that you have…” he pauses as if deciding whether he should keep speaking. When I don’t stop him, he does, “But I can’t help feeling like that could have been me.”

My slightly shaky hands cover his fidgeting ones. His hand moves until he’s intertwining our fingers together, palms touching. They fit perfectly together as if they were each other’s missing puzzle piece. His thumbs stroke mine sending warmth down my arms all the way down to my toes. The sparks I felt back then return with full force. He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. My heart is beating out of my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t feel it in some way.

I feel my heart break in my chest. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to make themselves known. My only saving grace is the fact that he can’t see my face. I may lose it completely if he did.

His breath is coming out equally as shaky between us, he squeezes my hands as if he doesn’t want me to let go. Believe me, I don’t want to. I bring one of our interlocked hands up to my lips. I kiss the back of his hand because I can’t kiss him where I want to. I pull back just enough to see his beautiful baby blues that could have any woman in the world swoon. They were terribly bloodshot right now but that only made them more tragically breathtaking. I tear one of my hands out of his and bring it to his cheek. He leans into it, a tear drops into the crevices between the contact.

The barely above whisper that came out was all I could muster without having a total breakdown because he’s right. It could have been him. We could have been something great. We could have built a life together. We could have had it all. And it broke my heart into a million pieces knowing all of this could have been avoided if life had handed both of us different lives.

“It almost was.”

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars​ @elusive-beauty​ @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent​ @fantasy-is-my-reality​ @princess-evans-addict​

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Cancelled-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Surprise bitch. Weren’t we expecting for me to release mcyt fanfics soon? If I didn’t tag my usual @‘s it’s because idk if you’d like to be tagged for mcyt content.

Pronouns: she/her

Word Count: 2.3k+

_________________

"You're so harsh on him!" Her hands sat on the keyboard, staring at the green human that stood on Y/n's computer screen.

She needed to be careful. While this was a heated moment, she couldn't let herself get too loud for multiple reasons. If she got too loud, Dream's stream viewers would be able to tell she was in the next room or they would just receive noise complaints from their neighbors.

"No Y/n! You're too soft on him! He needs to learn that he can't get away with everything. You're setting him up for failure." As the h/c girl listened to her roommate speak, she had to remind herself over and over again; 'This wasn't real.' Dream was mad, not Clay.

This had all been arranged as roleplay. Y/n would be leaving in a few days to go visit some of her family for a reunion, so Wilbur had been the one to think up the brilliant idea of what was playing out now; an argument between Y/n and Dream. The plan was to have Y/n get so upset she didn't log onto the SMP for the next few days, only to come back with a master plan to backstab Dream.

At first, Clay wasn't really on board with the thought of him getting angry at Y/n. They had been together for a little over a year, there wasn't a single moment they had gotten upset with one another. But surprisingly, Y/n had been the one to convince Clay it was a good idea.

The fans knew Dream and Y/n had a close friendship, Dream had always been so protective of her. But when this was going down, they didn't know how to act.

Every time Y/n would glance at her chat, she'd see thousands of comments rising up as new ones appeared. Comment after comment, it looked like the fans were shocked by the way this stream was turning out.

"I'm not setting him up for anything! He's a kid, Dream!" Y/n glanced from the chat,  back at the screen showing her PC game. Standing on her screen was Dream and Tommyinnit, she had accompanied Dream to visit Tommy.

"You're just babying him! 'He's a kid!' Well, he needs to learn to grow up eventually," his voice had been filled with such spite. It felt weird to hear Clay speaking to her like this in such a tone.

For a moment, she stared at the green man before a short scoff escaped her lips. "I can't believe you." With that, Y/n had pressed a few keys, turning her character towards the nether portal a couple of yards away. Before Dream had gotten the chance to speak again, Y/n began to move away.

"Y/n! Come back here!"

She flicked a few buttons, taking a moment to look behind her character to see Dream following. Good, everything was going according to plan. Within the next few minutes, she'd be able to log off and she'd be on vacation for the next few days.

The h/c girl ignored the green man as she stepped through the portal, taking her to Minecraft's version of hell. Almost done, she just needed to find a good spot to stop as she listened to Dream continue to speak.

"You can't keep ignoring me! You know I'm right in this. You know you can't keep defending Tommy. You know Tommy is driving a wedge between us-"

Perfect. Y/n had stopped just on the edge of a bridge, molten lava sat feet below them. If she fell, she'd surely die. "No."

"No?" Dream was a bit surprised to hear Y/n cut him off, but he stayed silent as he was prepared to listen to what she had to say.

"No. No more. I don't wanna hear you blame Tommy for us breaking apart. I want you to listen to me. You've been acting like much more of a dick than usual and I hate it. I despise it. You've changed for the worst because you think you can step on everyone. At this point, everyone fears to tell you the truth-except me. I'll be a hundred percent honest with you, you've been so egotistical, it's really pissed me off. This is your fault, Dream. Not Tommy's. You exiled a child for pulling a prank on a vacation house! Not even George's real house!"

"But-"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm done, but I don't wanna hear you bullshit me. So shut the fuck up."

A moment of silence passed between them as Y/n stared at her screen. Just a few more steps.

And within seconds, Dream had pulled out his netherite sword. With one hit, she was falling back into lava. Y/n glanced at her chat, a look of shock on her face as she read over what a few comments said. A moment of silent tension had passed before Y/n had finally spoken up, removing her from the voice chat she was in.

"Alright guys, I guess that's enough for the day. I'll see you all... later." With that, she had clicked a few buttons, raiding Dream's live-stream as she ended hers.

For the next 20 to 30 minutes, Y/n knew Clay would be busy streaming. So she had decided to take a bit of time to wind down and think to herself.

Get a glass of water.

'Are the fans harassing him in his twitch chat?'

Sit down on the living room couch.

'The SMP fans were always so protective of me.'

Pet Patches.

'Was I too much when I snapped at him?'

It didn't seem like 30 minutes had passed when Clay had walked out of his streaming room, only to find Y/n on the couch with Patches in her lap. "Hey, N/n." "Oh, your stream is already over?" Y/n smiled, pulling herself out of her thoughts as she scoot over, giving Clay room to take a seat right by her.

"Yeah, did you lose track of time or something?"

"I must've. How did the chat react after I 'died'?" She smiled up at her boyfriend as he wrapped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer into his embrace.

"Everyone was filled with joy that you died."-Y/n playfully swatted at him. "Okay, okay! I got a few chat messages of people bashing me for it, but it's fine."

"Well, it's a good thing the chat wasn't completely littered with hate. How was it after my raid?"

"Honestly, not that bad as you expect. Like I said, just a few comments. Nothing bad, I just ignored it." Clay placed a hand on Patches's head, gently scratching her, followed by the animal beginning to purr.

"Good to hear, anyways... I'm not ready to pack. Do you think we can procrastinate?" The h/c girl let out a huff leaning against her boyfriend. "How?"

"I was thinking a bit of movie binging, cuddling, and ordering dinner?" A cheeky smile spread on her face as she spoke.

"It's like you read my mind."

The couple had made it through three movies, by now it was later at night. The sun had set and they had already door dashed some food. By now they were in the middle of watching 'The Empire Strikes Back.'

'I love you.' 'I know.'

The iconic moment between Hans and Leia had been interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone buzzing. "Why is George calling?"

"What?" Y/n was a bit curious herself. Considering the timezones, George should be asleep right now. Pausing the TV, she turned her attention to her boyfriend's phone.

"Hey Clay."

"What's up, George? Isn't it like early in the morning for you?" Clay raised a brow, moving his phone so Y/n would be able to see George as well.

"Yeah, I had to stay up to fix a YouTube video I need to get out today. I was about to go to bed and I checked Twitter-"

"Oh no." Clay made a short joke, only to be cut off by his friend.

"I don't know if it's trending for you in America, but you might as well look."

"What's going on?" He swiped up, taking him to his home screen so he could click on the little blue bird app. Y/n had grabbed her phone from the coffee table, opening up the app as well. "#Cancel Dream... #Y/n... #Dream SMP"

"Is... is Clay getting canceled for killing me in Minecraft?" Y/n scrolled through the tweets involving the hashtag 'Y/n.' She could see plenty of people defending her, but making it much bigger of a problem than it actually was.

"Oh, hey Y/n. But yeah, he is." George chuckled awkwardly, scrolling through his Twitter app as well.

"This is so fucking stupid."

"It really is. So we might as well get this cleared up with the fans as soon as possible. Do you want me to tweet something, or do you want to?" Y/n looked up at her boyfriend, it looked like he was thinking.

"Yeah, I'll tweet it. Don't worry about this, Y/n."

"Alright, whatever you say," she replied, pulling a blanket over her as she waited for Clay to finish typing his response.

"Here's what I'm gonna say: 'I can't believe you guys actually think me and @(y/n) are in an actual fight in real life. We have been good friends since forever, the fight was only roleplay. I love that you guys are so protective of Y/n, but no one's actually upset.' How's that sound?"

"I think that's good," George hummed softly.

"Yeah, I doubt you'll stay 'canceled' once you've explained to them it was all part of the SMP lore." The h/c girl smiled up at her boyfriend with a small nod.

"Alright, I'm gonna post it. George, I think you should go to bed because you're half asleep already."

Y/n turned, looking at her boyfriend's iPhone. "Go to sleep, Gogy!"

"Alright, alright... I'll talk to you guys later." The call had ended with Clay and Y/n saying goodbye to their friend while George simply yawned to them as a response.

As soon as the call was over, Clay looked at the response to his tweet. It didn't seem to be going too well. There had been a few fans who understood what was going on and responded with a paragraph as an apology for the misunderstanding. But most replies had been telling Clay he was bullshitting the fans or that he wasn't being honest.

"I'm sorry, Clay," his girlfriend had huffed as she read through the responses to his tweet.

"Honestly I'm just a bit pissed off. Literally, any time someone tries to 'cancel' me, it's over something stupid. I'm not a bad guy, it just feels like some people just don't want to see me succeed." Clay had excused himself to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

It hurt Y/n to hear how upset her boyfriend was. He never got too upset over things, but seemed to take a small toll on him. "Hold on. Let me say something." The h/c girl couldn't be asked to post multiple tweets of her response to hate sent towards Clay over the internet. So what was better than a short video that could be posted to the blue bird app?

"Um, hey guys. I'd just like to make this quick. Stop sending hate towards Dream. The fight was roleplay and nothing more. I'm gonna be busy for the next couple of days so Wilbur thought of a good idea to help build SMP lore with me and Dream and we both agreed to the argument. Now stop sending the green man hate, or I'll commit war crimes or something-"

Y/n had been interrupted by the sound of Clay letting out a small giggle. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, just keep going with your video."

"Whatever, I'm cool. No matter what Dream says. Anyways, I'll speak to you all later." Y/n had hit the red button again, ending her video. Within seconds, the video had been uploaded to her Twitter account.

Placing her phone back down on the table, Y/n approached her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I'm really sorry about the hate, Clay. I love you."

"Don't apologize for something you can't control. I love you more." The brunette held his partner close, accepting her hug. Y/n always loved his hugs, she always felt so safe in his embrace.

The rest of the night had been spent with more cuddling and more Star Wars movies. Hours had passed before Y/n had even thought about the Twitter situation again. But for some reason, she had decided to look at the app again tonight.

It was 2 in the morning by now, Clay was half asleep. His head laid in the h/c girl's lap as she brushed a hand through his hair, her free hand opening up her Twitter app once again.

It had been a bit of a surprise to see a couple of trending hashtags had changed so quickly. What was trending now was #Dream, #Y/n,#(ship name), and #Dream's Laugh. This had to be about Y/n's short clip she posted. And by the looks of it, people had stopped acting so harsh towards Clay. But instead, they had decided to focus on the fact Dream and Y/n were hanging out together. Not to mention the fact Dream and let out a stupid little giggle because of Y/n. People had been apologizing to him through Twitter for being so hard on him.

"Babe."

"Hm?" Clay mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Pretty much everyone is apologizing to you over Twitter for being hardasses."

"Hm, that's good to hear."

"You're really tired, huh?" Y/n paused her scrolling to look down at her boyfriend.

"Yeah," He continued to mumble, followed by a short yawn.

"Alright, time for bed, babe." Y/n smiled to herself, beginning to carefully move away from Clay. "I can pack tomorrow and we can laugh over the stupid bird app tomorrow after you've gotten a good amount of sleep."

"I still can't believe Twitter tried canceling me over roleplay."

"I can't believe you got uncancelled by shippers."

Taglist: @notphilosopherstudentblog

[fandomvariousness]

Pairing: Levi x reader

Warnings: mild angst, violence, swearing, smut: slight dacryphilia, choking, slight masochism, slight dumbification, power play, unprotected sex

Summary: you’re an untruly scout in Levi’s squad and he let’s you know exactly how he feels when he pays you a visit during your punishment task

Word count: 3.6k

All hell broke loose if it was one of the worse days.

Your hot-headed disposition was a challenge to deal with in the first place, but if you felt a tad annoyed that day… Let’s just say punishments were as natural to you as breathing air.

It took slightest things to piss off Captain Levi – an irritated glance after he scolded you, a quiet remark you’d use to talk back and he, of course, would hear it. Simply put – you were disobedient. Yet even then you were an indispensable soldier – resourceful, intelligent, and absolutely fearless. Much like a wildfire – once you blaze, it’s hard to put you out.

Even so, Captain Levi eventually chose you to be a part of his new squad. Yes, he never encountered such an erratic human being that’s basically impossible to control, the traits that go against his every bullet point in describing a proper soldier, but he knew he would be an absolute fool if he’d go that massive potential of yours go to waste.

Countless times he wanted to kick you off the squad for being an unbearable brat, yet he didn’t. Often, you yourself wondered why.

✃

The squad has been on a minor expedition outside the walls for training purposes, so all of you were headed to the nearest cottage safe house.

After a tiring day of training, when the sun was setting down, you were all sitting outside, enjoying the last remnants of warmth in the air. Captain was sauntering inside the cottage, probably inspecting each crack and crevice after you all spend the first half of the day cleaning it.

It would be such a nice evening if Eren and Mikasa would argue a bit quieter. In fact, Mikasa was calmly saying something to Eren, while the latter, being basically as hot-headed as you, was arguing against her every word.

It pissed you off when they were like that, because it’s obvious Mikasa would do anything for Eren. Either he is so daft and doesn’t get it, or he doesn’t care. You never admitted to yourself that you’re jealous that Eren has someone who cares for him, while you have no one. Not even your family which was once very big – you had lots of cousins, aunts and uncles. Now, only you remain.

“Oi,” you exclaimed. “could you just tone it down a bit?”

Eren’s fiery gaze snapped towards you in a second. “Stay out of this!”

Now, you knew it’s none of your business, but you hated being talked to like that, much less ordered. You stood up in a swift motion from where you were leaning against a bench and turned your body to face Eren.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve no interest in what you’re crying about, Jaeger, but you’re not even listening to Mikasa, that much is obvious.”

Others were starting to pay attention too – they knew that when the two of you started bickering, often it’d turn into something more… interesting.

“You know what else is obvious?” he asked, his voice challenging. “That you act all brave and fearless, but in reality you’re just a restless child acting as if she lost her dummy!”

You felt that familiar tickling feeling of your temper rising, firing you up until you eventually lose yourself and act upon instincts that keep you alive and going.

You chuckled curtly. “Me? You’re calling me a child?”

Tauntingly, you’ve stepped closer to him. Eren knew that it’s not smart to wind you up like that, you’re still friends, good friends – it just so happened that you’re both in a bad mood today.

“At least I can wipe my own ass without Mikasa’s help.” you finished your sentence just before Eren grabbed a fistful of your collar and roughly pulled you flush against him, both of your impulsive auras conflicting with each other.

You growled as you pushed him away in a swift, forceful motion, earning a murderous glare from him.

It took so little to get you angry. Even though you pushed him away, that unruly part of yours stepped close to him again as you dug your forefinger in his chest in a threatening manner.

“Don’t touch me, you, whiny bitch,” you spat out, your voice dripping with venom – you were already blazing, and there was no going back.

Eren slapped your hand away. “Who you’re calling a whiny bitch? I wasn’t the one who cried into the pillow for two weeks after driving Reiner and Bertholdt away!”

Now, you can be reckless, wild, fiery… But Eren can be cruel.

The reason you were so devastated after finding out your two best friends were your mortal enemies was because with them you felt like you’ve had family again – both of them reminded you of your older brothers. You shared your feelings with Eren in confidence, and he just blurted it out in front of everyone.

“Fuck it,” you thought as you launched a punch at his face with a primal scream.

By now the others knew not to interfere in your fights, not even Mikasa. God knows they tried, and it made it even worse.

Eren fell to the ground with a hard thud before you quickly straddled him and lifted up your bent hand to launch another punch at his bloody nose.

The bastard was quick to react nevertheless as he met your fist with his palm and squeezed it, slapping you off of him with his free hand in a swift motion. The second your own body collided with the grass you were already scrambling with your hands and feet to get up.

As you turned to Eren with the intention to ram him to the ground again, he was already on his legs as well. The others were still shouting for you two to break it up, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before Captain Levi shows up.

Not thinking straight, you did exactly what you wanted, you launched yourself at him and picked him like a flower stem, both of you flying to the ground again, followed by a sickening thump.

Your vision was getting blurry from all the rage and adrenaline as you lifted up your fist, charged with savage energy, ready to collide with Eren’s already battered face, yet it never happened. It never happened because someone else was gripping your wrist so hard, almost stopping the blood flow.

You snapped your head back to see murderous look in Captain’s gray eyes.

Still gripping your wrist, he jerked you back like a rag doll, painfully sending you to the ground, away from Eren.

It fell so quiet you could hear the clouds passing.

Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I will kill both of you.”

“Right,” he continued. “when everyone’s going to sleep after this long, tiring day, you brats are going to sweep this house clean again. I don’t care how long it takes you. Eren takes right wing, Y/N takes left.”

He glared daggers at the two of you before going back to the cottage, just like that. It was actually worse when he didn’t say much – means he’s absolutely sick of you.

Still breathing heavily, you stood up, leaning on your knees with your palms for support.

“Shit, guys,” Jean muttered. “Shall we say our goodbyes now, or...?”

“Jean.” Mikasa snapped, shutting him up.

You glared at Eren who glared right back at you, although his eyes were already void of the rage that was previously residing in them.

You looked away without a word and made your way towards the cottage, wanting to wipe all the dirt and soot away.

✃

You stared at your distraught face in the mirror. Distraught by the fight you had with Eren, and by the fact that you got on Captain’s nerves again. How longer can you go on like this before he finally kicks you out?

You wiped your wet face with a towel as you heard someone come into the bathroom. Mikasa’s frame showed up in the mirror.

“Mikasa,” you spoke without hesitation as you turned around. “I’m sorry for what I said.���

Mikasa shook her head sheepishly. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. You’re the most caring person I know and I used that to shame Eren, although there’s no shame in caring for your loved ones.”

Mikasa blushed as she set her eyes to the ground. “Everyone’s going to sleep already – you better hurry.”

“Right,” you sighed, feeling the jitters of anticipation.

You quit the bathroom and made your way to the cleaning cupboard to grab all sorts of supplies. At least the Captain was nowhere to be seen – you couldn’t bear his condemning gaze now. Not when you secretly always yearn for his approval.

You can’t help but stare at him a second longer than you should, or think about him when you shouldn’t. The fact that he hasn’t kicked you off of his squad gives you some material for thinking that maybe he simply doesn’t want to. There’s just something about him that makes you tense everytime you’re around him – not the dread everyone feels, but something else entirely, something that makes your stomach tingle.

You just finished cleaning all the dishes after dinner and was now sweeping the floor that was still clean after your cleaning tasks earlier in the day. That was the point of the punishment, you figured – clean the surroundings that are already clean, only to frustrate you.

You were kind of spacing out, the flashbacks of the fight with Eren coming back, rekindling the violent blaze within you. Everything was suddenly in your head again, pushing you to the edge. You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose as you stopped momentarily, letting go of the broom and trying to forget how Eren just blurted out about your sorrows, how Captain glared at you, how everyone got to witness you getting unhinged again.

Hot flashes hit your body as you blew the stray ringlet of hair from your forehead, leaning on the dining table with your palms, desperately trying to calm down.

“Who told you to stop?”

Oh no… Really not the time.

You needed a few more seconds to stop the shivers as you opened your eyes and straightened your frame, facing Captain Levi, who was leaning against the counter.

It was precisely those few extra seconds that displeased him.

“Tsk,” he spat out as he straightened his frame. “Not only you’re deranged, but lazy too.”

You faced him with as blank a face as you could possibly muster, yet all your feelings were bubbling up, threatening to spill out with a little more provocation. You never wanted to rip off someone’s head so bad, until now.

You didn’t realize you’d squeezed your eyes shut until they suddenly opened with the sound of hard crash – Levi had purposely smashed a ceramic cup to the ground, shattering it to pieces.

You set your mad eyes on him, disbelief written all over you.

“Clean it.” he ordered. “Or are you going to disobey me again?”

You bit the inside of your cheek so hard you sure it was bleeding, breathing heavily, restraining yourself like never before in order not to pounce on him.

Instead, you repeatedly bit your lower lip as you felt your eyes watering. It’s better to cry yourself stupid before him than to actually hit him – then everything would definitely be over.

He stepped closer to you, your clothes almost brushing together, as he looked down on you with clear disgust, and… satisfaction?

You were so angry. He tried to demean you just now, and you were under immense pressure to actually pick those pieces up. You knew you had to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

You gulped. “You’re abusing your power.”

“No,” he closed in on you, making you step backwards until the back of your thighs hit the table. “I’m establishing my power, since you clearly don’t recognize it.”

He leaned his palms on the table just like you did moments ago, trapping you. Your heart was palpitating against your ribcage, yet for reasons entirely different than rage.

All of those glances and pushes and punishments now made sense – that was the only way he could think of to interact with you with no suspicion from others. He’d often chide you for the stupidest things, just so he’d have the chance to have a conversation with you, no matter how fleeting or unimportant.

Deep down you always knew it, and that’s why you’re continued being such a burden. Just so that he’d look at you and punish you again, scream at you, or kick the shit out of you again.

The atmosphere in the room has changed radically. You felt like walking on a string, about to fall off as his face was hovering just above yours, torturing you with anticipation.

“You wanted to beat the shit out of me just now, didn’t you?” he quizzed while slowly tracing your features with his stony gaze. Instead of answering, you gulped.

He grabbed your face harshly, puckering up your lips in the process. “Speak.”

“Yes.” you admitted before his hand slid down to lightly hang at the base of your neck, igniting whole another fire within you.

“Yes what?” he asked, adding pressure to his hand.

“Yes, Captain.”

At this rate, you’re going to burn out.

He chuckled quietly through his nose and stood up straight. “Go on, then. I’m ordering you to slap me.”

It was as if you just turned into a statue – that’s how shocked you were. “W-What?” you asked sheepishly.

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

You stared at him, trying to see him and his intentions through. Obviously, things were finally getting spicy, but your defense mechanism still rang some alarm bells – is he trying to trick you into something? Are you really going to bitch-slap the humanity’s strongest?

You felt your palms starting to tingle as he stared right into your eyes, challenging you to do it.

And you’re gonna do it, alright.

Something just snapped inside you, as it always does before you do something stupid or something you’re going to regret. You charged your palm with strength before sending it flying across his cheek with all your might. You whimpered as your skin came in contact with his, setting your palm on fire from such a harsh stroke.

And then it dawned on you – you really did bitch-slap him. He even stumbled one step backwards, his head ominously turned to the side, crow-black hair shielding his eyes from your vision, what absolutely terrified you.

He straightened his frame as he wiped a droplet of blood from his lip with the tip of his thumb.

You gasped audibly, making him look at you.

That’s it, you thought, he has a perfect reason to kill you now, and you were stupid enough to fall for it. You closed your eyes and awaited whatever’s to come, and it did come.

His lips came crashing on yours, both of you stumbling backwards, moving the table a bit. He immediately yanked you to sit on the wooden surface, positioning himself between your thighs as you held onto him for dear life.

He devoured you with hungry, open-mouthed kisses before you bit his lower lip, drawing blood once more.

One of his hands that were digging into your hips came in contact with your neck, squeezing it hard and pushing you away so he could see your hazy face.

“Savage.” he muttered after a few moments of taking you in, making your mouth stretch out into a lazy smile.

He pushed himself to you further, making your back hit the table as he attached his lips just below your neck, where jaw transitions to neck, coaxing a mewl out of you. He coaxed another when he rutted his hips against yours, making you aware of the growing tent in his pants.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, eyes closed as he sucked and bit little marks all over your neck. Hiding them is going to be a problem.

You took his face in your hands and kissed him deeply, rolling your hips against his in a tantalizing motion, whimpering at how his hardness brushes against where you need him the most, feeling him exhale into your mouth as his mind was equally clouded.

It felt like everything was finally coming to be exactly as it should, like you’d finally be released from your misery, like the intentions behind each of your actions would finally be clear, without any misunderstandings.

You were both impatient. No time for thorough build up, you just wanted to feel him inside you, just as he wanted to fill you up.

He drew back a bit, restrained by your legs snaking his waist as he rested his forehead against yours, panting heavily. “I’d really like to fuck you now.”

The fact that after all the crazy shit you’ve been through today he’d still ask for consent made you give it all to him. “Only if you do it so hard I can’t walk for days.”

You felt his dick twitch. “Easy.”

You yelped as he flipped you around, fumbling with the hem of your pants as he pushed them down to your knees, along with your underwear. You shivered as cool air hit your slick folds, and once again when you heard Levi fumbling with his own belt.

You wiggled your hips against him, impatient, almost crying out – you needed him that bad. His palm came flying against your behind, making you yelp loudly, gripping the edge of the table as you’re all sprawled out on top of it.

You whimpered again as you felt him brush the tip of his dick teasingly against your entrance. “Please, Captain…”

“So impatient,” he muttered silently before ramming into you without any warning.

Your nails dug into the wooden edge as you cried out into the air, holding on for dear life as he slammed you, table legs creaking underneath you rhythmically.

Levi had a perfect view of you as he rutted against you – the way your ass bounced flush against his hip, your arm muscles straining as you gripped the edge of the table harder and harder, the way the strands of your hair flew up and down with each motion, and how helplessly you squealed each time his tip hit your cervix – all of that sent him insane, unable to stop the silent whimpers that came out from his own mouth.

He had to restrain himself from going too fast – that’s how eager he was to finally sprawl you under him, after all this time you drove him out of his mind with your unstable behavior, hatred-driven glances and disobedience.

“Yes, yes, love it,” you wailed incoherently.

“Of course you do,” he huffed just before he grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head backwards, stars spilling out of your head.

The way his dick breached you was literally driving you crazy – it was like a perfect fit, slipping soundly against your walls and hitting all the right spots at exactly the right time. Your cunt clenched around him on its own, making him groan at your artfulness. His fingers dug into the plush of your backside, thrusting into you without any mercy.

The coil in your stomach was getting tighter and tighter, your brain short-circuiting each time you heard Levi groan, the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin ringing against the walls.

“Oh, God,” you cried out as your bliss was rapidly closing in on you.

“No,” Levi countered as he pressed his back flush against yours, brushing his lips against your ear. “just me.”

His head hung down, burying itself in the crook of your neck as he finally spilt his seed inside of you with a low groan that sent you to your own release. You cried out as he panted heavily against your skin, your body slumping on the table completely.

You had to muster up the remaining grain of your strength when Levi stood up and pulled his pants on so you could to the same with your own. Your breathing was still erratic as you fumbled with the pair of strings in the hem of your pants, trying to tie them. Levi approached you and lightly swatted your trembling hands away, tying them for you.

You were lost in his gray eyes by now, not even knowing what to say at first, but this silence that ensued was kind of comforting, both of you assessing the situation.

He chuckled suddenly. “Why did you beat the shit out of Jaeger in the first place?”

You smiled awkwardly as you shook your head curtly, gluing your eyes to the ground. “Doesn’t matter. Stupid thing, really.”

“Alright.” he said, his voice low, as usual. “You can tell me all about it next time.”

His words made you look at him again, eyebrows slightly lifted, eyes full of sudden anticipation.

Next time?

You were kind of scared at the thought of getting together with Captain again, but you felt excited way more.

“Oh, and like I said,” he paused before leaving the room completely. “clean it.”

You remembered the shattered cup and this time failed to refrain a smirk that creeped upon your lips.

“Yes, Captain.”

He left after that, but you swear you saw a ghost of a smile on those harsh lips.

[youbloodymadgenius]

Home (Modern!Ivar x reader)

A/N: This is my entry for @maggiescarborough​‘s 400 Followers Challenge. Congrats again, love 🌺

This is another silly, fluffy thing. It’s probably boring, sorry 😔

Since Ivar is undoubtedly a Scorpio, this story takes place in November 😉

The prompt: surprising the character on their birthday.

@geekandbooknerd​, thanks for beta reading this for me ♥️ And @inforapound​, thanks for helping me out ♥️

Thanks to google translate too 😉 jeg er allerede begyndt at lære dansk: I've already started to learn Danish.

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Summary: On his birthday, Ivar is in a very bad mood. The only present he wants is you, but there is an ocean between you two.

Warnings: Ivar’s bad temper (is that ever a warning??); soft, soft Ivar; fluff+++.

Words: 3209

When his phone rings, Ivar's first thought is to throw it across the room. Looking down, he then sees the name on the screen and closes his eyes. Snippets of his days run through his mind: how he had snapped at Ubbe – I don't give a shit about what you're saying, brother; how his outburst had brought to tears his new personal assistant – if you don't even know how to make a fucking coffee, I should probably fire you; how Harald, his longtime business partner, had hung up on him, angering him even more – you may be smart, Ivar, but when you're such in a bad mood, you're worthless. I'll call you tomorrow.

 Ivar knows he needs to calm down. He's so pissed off – at everything – that his right quadriceps is constantly spasming, his thigh as hard as rock. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, he sighs loudly, pinches the bridge of his nose and eventually grabs his phone.

 "Mor?" He's sure his mother won't fail to notice the hint of sharpness in his voice. She won't acknowledge it, though, used to his temper.

 "Hello Darling." There's a tremendous amount of love packed in those two little words, yet it doesn't bring a smile on his stern face. "I just wanted to let you know that Sven is on his way. He left Kattegat forty minutes ago. He is going to take you home."

 Clenching his jaw, Ivar stops himself from telling his mother that Kattegat, for him, is no longer home. Not anymore. The truth is, he doesn't know where home is. Home isn't his luxurious loft in in the very center of Copenhagen either. Home should be where you are. But you're so far away…

Ivar clears his throat. "I still don't get it, Mor. Why should I go with your chauffeur? You do know I can drive, don't you?"

 "Oh, honey, of course I do. But we've been over this, remember? You had to work the whole day, on your birthday, and I just want you to relax. Traffic can be brutal this time of day. Just let Sven bring you home. Maybe take a nap in the backseat, or just allow your thoughts to wander. I want you to be rested tonight, sweetheart." His mother pauses for a few seconds, and when she speaks again, her words are careful, her tone almost hesitant – so unlike her, his heart softens a little. "You did pack a bag, didn't you?"

 Ivar can't help but roll his eyes and then settles his gaze on a brown leather duffel bag right next to his mahogany desk. He knows that whatever his mother might expect, he won't stay the night. And if she doesn't allow Sven

to drive him back to Copenhagen, he will just call a cab. He won't argue about it right now, though – everything in its own time.

 Letting out a small sigh, Ivar nods uselessly, a hand running through his hair. "Yes Mor, I did."

  Sven knows better than to talk to him and, in the backseat, as the car speeds down the highway, Ivar closes his eyes and tries to relax. Anger still coursing through his veins, it turns out it's a nearly impossible task. It seems as if everything has gone wrong since he woke up and he's therefore mad at the whole world. He's mad at all those stupid, infuriating people he had to interact with. He's mad at Sven for taking him to Kattegat. He's mad at his mother for inviting him for his birthday. He's mad at himself for accepting. He's even mad at you, for not being here; for not making the impossible possible. For leaving him alone. And no matter if deep down he knows how unfair it is to you; because of course, you'd be here if you could. But he can't help it. He's mad at you because he misses you, every day a little more, to the point where the ache in his heart is far worse than the pain in his legs.

 And today, he misses you like crazy. To the point where sadness floods his mind. To the point where anger takes control. Because today may be his birthday, but it's also the anniversary of your first kiss, first and foremost. And he wants you here, right next to him, for now and forever.

  Fourteen months ago, after yet another surgery, and because even if he knew all too well that he couldn't stay by himself while recovering, the mere thought of his mother's overprotective presence made him nauseous, he had flown – fled – to Canada, to Floki's. The old fool had welcomed him with open arms, turning one of the many guest rooms of his house into a high-tech physiotherapy space. That's where he met you. At first, you had been just his physical therapist, then his date, his girlfriend, and now you are his lover. And if he's back in Denmark for nine months now, you're still in Canada. He had thought he could handle a long-distance relationship. He couldn't have been more wrong. Your absence just kills him.

 As a boat whistle can be heard, Ivar slowly opens his eye and then looks around. Frowning, he scratches his head, confused and annoyed. Since the Lothbrok mansion is located on a hill overlooking Kattegat, there's never any reason to go by the seaside to get there. Never ever. "We're on the wrong road, Sven. Why are you going to the shore?" Ivar speaks in a demanding tone of voice that doesn't impress Sven one bit.

 The obedient chauffeur barely shrugs. "I'm just following orders, Sir. Your mother's orders."

 Now riled up, irked, Ivar snorts, his nostrils flaring. "My mother asked you to drive me here?" Without waiting for an answer, he takes his phone out of his back pocket, gasping as Sven comes to a halt in front of The Nimb Hotel, the hotel palace of Kattegat.

 When his mother doesn't pick up the phone, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, he tries to get ahold of Hvitserk, Ubbe, and even Sigurd, but to no avail. Fuming, his hands curling into fists, Ivar clenches his teeth. Did his mother organize a fucking birthday party even though she knows he hates that? She wouldn't dare. No, she wouldn't.

 Oh, fuck. Sure, she would. She totally would. And it'd explain why she had been so adamant about having Sven drive him. She wanted him here, in this fucking hotel, and not at the mansion. It explains why his brothers don’t answer the phone. Because they know that if they did, he would yell at them to fuck off. He can’t believe it!! What’s got into his mother?? What the fucking hell??!!!!

 For a split second, he hovers a trembling pointer finger over the screen of his phone. Calling an Uber and going back to Copenhagen would be so easy. But as tempting as it may be to just run away, he knows he won't do it. He can't. Because it'd hurt his beloved mother, and the thought is unbearable, even though he's angry with her right now. That's why, whatever she may have planned, he'll deal with it, putting on a brave face for her sake.

 And that's why he doesn't object when Sven opens his door, "This way, Sir," his hand gesturing toward the hotel entrance, flanked by two ostentatious marble columns. Ivar uses his hands to place his right leg out of the car and he then slowly stands up, one hand on his crutch and the other on the car door, before following the gray-haired chauffeur, a permanent scowl on his face.

As they walk through the lobby, he is surprised when Sven leads him onto an elevator, pressing the twelfth-floor button. He would have thought that his mother would have privatized the hotel restaurant. But the restaurant is on the main floor. What's on the upper floors other than rooms? A roof terrace, probably. His mother would never throw an outdoor party in the middle of November though. Nothing makes sense.

 Confused, Ivar tilts his head while the lift is going up. "Where are we going?" Sven doesn't react to his harsh tone, just repeating his reply from earlier. "I'm following orders, Sir. I am walking you to where your mother ordered me to walk you." He doesn't utter another word, getting out of the elevator as soon as the door opens.

 Ivar tightens his grip on his crutch and follows him to what seems to be a hotel room. Or more specifically, and as it's written on the door, the executive suite. More and more bewildered, he watches Sven swiftly knocking on the door before using a card key to unlock it. Holding it open, the chauffeur steps aside, "I've been asked to tell you that the sunroom is over there," waving his hand slightly to the left, Sven then gives a slight nod to an astounded Ivar, "I now take my leave, Sir. I wish you a delightful evening."

  As Ivar slowly crosses the living room, the slight thud of his crutch on the hardwood floor alerts you of his presence. Shivering with excitement and your heart pounding in your chest, you struggle but don't move, don't say a word; not yet.

 Taking a tentative step into the sunroom, which, he's sure of it, offers during daytime a breathtaking view on the bay of Kattegat, a dumbfounded Ivar notices the candles first – there are candles everywhere, their soft glow creating an intimate ambience – and then the table for two elegantly set in the middle of the room.

 "What the fuck is going on?" Ivar grumbles, irritation obvious in his voice, and you know it's time for you to show up, or he may leave. Stepping toward him and into the light, you absently rub your sweaty palms up and down your black dress, your heart now beating so hard and so fast you wonder if he can hear it. This is it. The moment you were waiting for, for weeks now. You couldn't be happier, and yet you can't help but be nervous. Could he reject you? You don't think so but with Ivar, you never know… Swallowing the lump in your throat, and even if you can barely breathe, you manage to crack a smile at the exact moment he sets his eyes on you. "Happy birthday, my love, and happy anniversary too."

 Ivar's jaw drops, his eyes widen, and a soft gasp escapes his plump lips. He wobbles for an instant and you quickly close the gap between you and him, steadying him by placing both your hands on his hips. Your touch shaking him out of his stupor, he blinks a few times, his piercing blue eyes never leaving your face. "Y/N, is it… is it really you?" With a trembling voice and tears in his eyes, he stutters, dazed and surprised. "By the gods, what… what are you doing here?" His arm finding your waist, Ivar pulls you closer. There's a whirlwind of emotions on his face, but there's mostly love. You're sure he won't reject you.

 "Did you really think I was going to miss your birthday?" Standing on tiptoes, you give him a long kiss before whispering in his ear, "And I missed you so much, my love."

 Rough fingers caress your face as Ivar looks down at you incredulously. "But… I… I don't understand… I… I thought you were busy with work. But you're here… How?"

 "By plane, obviously," you quip playfully, and your lover rolls his eyes and shakes his head, before suddenly frowning. "That's really a wonderful surprise, Y/N, and I'd love to stay here with you but we… we should go… My mother… I think she's waiting for me, for us… You know, since it's my birthday, she wanted to throw…" Ivar stops talking when it dawns on him that he has been – to his delight – tricked, and you just smile. "Mother never planned a party, did she?"

 It's your turn to shake your head. "No, she never did, you're right. She knew I was coming and since I needed a little help, she agreed to play along. Tonight, it's just you and me, my love." Ivar's eyes sparkling with joy, your smile grows wider. "She's expecting us for lunch tomorrow, though."

 Nodding, Ivar flashes you a beaming smile that falters almost immediately as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. As he stifles a hiss of pain, you wrap his right arm around your shoulder and your left around his waist. Without a word, you lead him to a corner of the sunroom, help him to sit down on a huge nest chair and finally breathe a sigh of satisfaction as you snuggle into his side.

 His hand running up your arm, Ivar cups your face and looks at you fondly. "You being here with me is the best birthday gift ever." He then kisses you passionately, his hands roaming your back and your fingers threading through his long hair. When he breaks the kiss, he still holds you close and you lean into his warmth, your head resting on his chest.

 "When are you flying back?" Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, Ivar clenches his jaw as you pull away just enough to look at him. You know he hates the idea of you leaving him once again. You don't have time to answer him as he keeps going. "Guess you'll stay through the weekend, but when is your flight? On Monday morning?"

 A mischievous smile playing on your lips, you wrap your fingers around his hand. "There's no flight, Ivar, not anymore. I'm not going anywhere. I'm afraid you're stuck with me, my love."

 Swallowing, Ivar just stares at you for long seconds, a frown on his confused face. "What… What are you talking about? If this is a joke, it's a very bad one." He eventually manages to say, his bottom lip trembling.

 "I swear it's not a joke." You reassure him as you readjust your position, straddling him carefully. Your thumb stroking his cheek, you give him a quick peck before explaining yourself. " I hate our current situation, and I know you do too. I don't want to live like this anymore, between two flights, between two countries. I don't want to miss you anymore. My life is with you, my love. And since you can't exactly relocate the Lothbrok Company, it's up to me to move, which I'm happy to do."  

 Dumbstruck, Ivar remains speechless for a long time, but you can tell by the smile on his lips that he's thrilled by the news. Tilting his head, he finds his voice again. "You are serious? Wow! You do realize you'll have to find a new job, learn another language? That's not nothing."

 "Actually," you place your hands flat on his chest, "I've already found a job. Floki still has strong connections here, did you know that? On the same day I made up my mind, he was already making calls. He has been amazing, truly! I start working in a rehab clinic within a fortnight. As for the language…", you stop and inhale deeply before saying hesitantly, "jeg er allerede begyndt at lære dansk." Ivar's wry smile tells you that your pronunciation could have been better, but you don't mind. It's a first step. "Anyway," you exclaim, beaming, "You know me, I love a challenge!"

 "I just can't fucking believe it!" Ivar shines with happiness and it melts your heart. His next question, though, makes you wince internally. Because on that particular point, you're suddenly afraid you've put the cart before the horse.

 "Where are you going to live?"

 Lowering your gaze, you begin to fidget nervously. "I…", you clear your throat, closing your eyes, "I was thinking… well… Maybe I could… I don't know if…" As soon as you realize you're getting nowhere, you stop; you know you have to muster up the courage to be straightforward. Releasing a short sigh, you tilt your head up. "I was hoping we could live together. I mean if you want to. It's fine if you don't, I'll rent an apartment."

 Literally thunderstruck, his eyes fixed on you, Ivar swallows loudly. "You… You…" He stammers, an incredulous expression on his face. "You want to live with… with me?"

 As you nod while muttering under your breath "Only if you want to," a broad smile spreads over his lips and he blinks a few times. "Of course, I do. But you do know that", his sheepish look is unmistakable, "I'm not exactly easy to live with, right?"

 Relief floods through you and you burst out laughing as you remember what he put you through when you were his physical therapist. "I do know you, my stubborn, grumpy, short-tempered and moody lover! And guess what, my love? I wouldn't want you any other way. Plus, as I said, I love a good challenge!"

 Without even trying to hide his elation, Ivar throws his arms around your waist, giggling, "It's a deal, then," before peppering light kisses all over your face. His mouth barely an inch from yours, he's about to kiss you as your stomach rumbles. Embarrassed, you want to hide your face but Ivar, all smiles and laughing eyes, grasps your hands, squeezing them. "Guess we should feed you."

 Checking your watch, you stand up reluctantly. "Actually," you point at the table behind you, "we should be served a meal in less than five minutes." Reaching out, you grab Ivar's left hand as he hauls himself to his feet, handing him his crutch once you're sure he found his balance.

 Now towering over you, Ivar gives you a thank-you smile. "So, tell me Y/N, what's the plan for tonight? Besides dinner, I mean." The naughty grin adorning his features tells you the answer he's hoping for.

 "Well," you can't resist teasing him, "I was thinking maybe we could take an after-dinner walk on the shore afterwards, and later, there's this wonderful documentary about penguins I wouldn't want to miss, so yeah, that's the plan."

 "Ooooh, look at you!" You can't help but laugh your head off as Ivar's smile falters, a crease forming between his eyebrows and pouty lips shouting his displeasure. "I'm just kidding, my love," you soothe him, your thumb grazing his mouth, "there's this whirlpool-bath I'm dying to try in the bathroom if you're up for it. And after that, I'm going to make love to you, my birthday boy." Ivar's breath hitches as your hands squeeze his butt cheeks playfully. "And then we'll sleep. And tomorrow we'll go and have lunch with your mother. And when we're done there, you'll…" Overwhelmed with emotion, you stop, your eyes filling with tears.

 "I'll…?" Ivar asks as a crooked smile tugs at his lips.

 You swallow away the lump in your throat, intertwining your fingers with his. "You'll take me home, won't you?"

 There are tears in his eyes as well, but when Ivar nods, the smile that flashes over his face is a wide, shining one. "Yes, my love, I'll take you home."

 🛡⚔️🛡

@honestsycrets​ @lisinfleur​ @waiting4inspiration​ @saldelys​ @gearhead66​ @inforapound​ @readsalot73​ @milkkygirls​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @shannygoatgruff​ @zuxiezendler​ @a-mess-of-fandoms​ @hecohansen31​ @lonewolf471​ @ivarthebloodyking​ @fuckindiva​ @tgrrose​ @didiintheblog​ @peachyboneless​ @funmadnessandbadassvikings​ @ethereallysimple​ @destynelseclipsa​ @coco2315​ @mlchael-guerin​ @pieces-by-me​ @xceafh​

[dancingazaleas]

𖨆. 03 / all for us

summary: you’ve been gone for a while and haven’t been replying to any of your texts messages. you’re friends suspect something might be up.

note: the reader has been left alone continuously ever since she has been kidnapped. erwin and levi are the only ones who see her, and it’s usually only for an hour or two. this is because of her reluctance to be around them.

taglist: @voltairelesecond @the-sun-baby @uniquepickle @baelo80

word count: +3.0k

warnings/notes: cursing, vomiting, your friends are looking for you

PIECK knew something was up whenever bertholdt said you weren't answering his texts and hadn't been showing up to work before you even went on vacation. she knew you were on vacation and that you were pissed with her, but even so you never ignored texts from bertholdt.

her suspicions only rose whenever porco and reiner told her the same thing, that you'd suddenly gone awol on the two of them out of nowhere.

they were confirmed when zeke came back into town and said the same thing.

she sits on her couch, shoulders shaking as she cries with porco's arms wrapped around her. reiner, bert, zeke, and annie, who reiner and bert brought for some reason, stare at her in complete worry.

you went awol just this sunday, telling each and everyone of them that you were going on vacation and wouldn't be in town for a little while. bertholdt hadn't seen you at work for almost three weeks now, two and a half of them after your sudden vacation.

"she can't be on vacation," pieck sobs, "she always answers your guys' texts. no matter what!"

"maybe she's just in a different country? she might just not be able to get reception," porco seems unsure as he says this.

"she can't be. she would've told me, pieck, or even bertholdt. god, she would've told all of us," zeke's head is in his hands while his teeth grind together.

"okay, so where would she be if she were still in paradis," annie speaks up while gesturing her arm in a circle.

"who fucking knows," reiner sighs, "when'd you last see her, babe?"

"at work before she stopped showing up. she said she was gonna get coffee at that one café she loves going to. other than that, she didn't say anything about plans or going out with anybody," bertholdt is laced with confusion and his arms are crossed.

"we got into a bad fight that night," pieck sniffles, "she left the house a few hours later, i just thought she was going to stay with one of you guys or yelena."

"what'd you even argue about?"

she grips at her hair with tears rushing down her face, "i can't even remember. it was probably so petty and stupid. the only thing i remember is her telling me that she hated me and me telling her that she was a fuck up."

"i'm so sorry, pieck," porco squeezes her shaky form tight to his chest.

"wait," zeke's standing up abruptly and pointing at bertholdt, "she went where?!"

"oh my god, she went to café scout!!! maybe the workers heard something," reiner perks up along with everyone else.

"holy shit, maybe that one girl is there!! she probably saw something," porco smiles.

"louise! she definitely knows (name)! she probably saw something! let's go," pieck jumps off of the couch and stumbles towards the front door of her house.

the rest of them follow after, all deciding that bertholdt's van, he's usually the designated driver, is the car they'll get into. they all yell at a fumbling bertholdt to hurry up and unlock the car as they stand at the car. he does so while screaming, jumping into the driver's seat and starting the ignition. reiner's jumping in the passenger seat and annie's in the first row of seats behind bert.

before porco can even close the door behind him, bertholdt is driving off towards the café. porco is screaming along with pieck as they're thrown around the van due to their lack of seatbelts and the both of them standing to sit in their seat. their screaming has everyone else screaming as bert speeds up the car despite the oncoming speed bump. bertholdt and reiner hit their heads against the roof of the car, a loud bang resonating throughout the vehicle. pieck and porco's back hit the roof as well, but luckily for pieck she lands on the first row of seats next to annie.

porco, unfortunately, lands on the floor. zeke would've laughed if it wasn't for his own head slamming against the carpeted roof of the van. annie holds onto pieck's arm whenever she's in a sitting position, screaming along with reiner for bertholdt to slow the car down as they see another speed bump.

he doesn't.

porco is once again thrown against the roof.

bertholdt is speeding, even as he gets onto the freeway with other cars. he's stressed out.

when they get there, they all wonder how the fuck bertholdt didn't even get pulled over and how the hell they even managed to survive. bertholdt cries out apologies as reiner and porco puke their guts out in the huge parking lot while annie gags and tries not to vomit at watching reiner and porco do it themselves. pieck is holding her hand and trying to cover her eyes while zeke manages to cover her ears and cringes at porco and reiner.

bertholdt's now sobbing at annie, profusely apologizing, even getting on all fours and begging for her forgiveness.

"how are you gonna get on your hands and knees for annie but not for your boyfriend," porco coughs before he spits out saliva to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

reiner follows behind him in a grimace, hand grabbing at his now emptied stomach and the other going to wipe at his mouth.

"dude, gross!! don't wipe it off with your hands!! pieck and bertholdt usually have tissues on hand," porco shouts to reiner, who drops his hand halfway.

pieck and zeke comfort the emetophobe annie all while bertholdt gives reiner and porco tissues and a breath mint. he gives them hand sanitizer as well, and throws a pack of peppermint frost gum at the two of them, clogging his nose up.

they scoff but oblige, both now looking somehow decent and also smelling it. pieck's calming down a shaking annie, who's buried herself in pieck's warm arms, and zeke stands to the side awkwardly.

porco and reiner rush to the order counter when they all step inside, ordering instead of asking the cashier for the employee they were looking for. annie, who's now calm, pushes them aside harshly.

"ignore them, is that girl louise working today? we need to talk to her," she asks and the poor cashier is terrified at annie's deadpan face.

"n-no!! sh-she should be at home!!"

"give me her address," annie starts to lean her front over the counter, almost pushing the poor girl into a heart attack.

she grabs a napkin and a pen, hurriedly scribbling down louise's address and running off into the back.

"we can get food on the way there," annie shrugs nonchalantly, "preferably wendy's or something."

————

bertholdt and pieck almost feel bad for the poor girl whenever she answers the door.

with annie's glare piercing into her and zeke's towering over her, they were sure she'd pissed herself.

"y-yes... what do you need," she digs her nails into the door.

pieck shoves them both aside and steps forward, louise lights up with recognition.

"don't worry, they aren't gonna hurt you," she waves her hand, completely ignoring how they both still glare at louise even over pieck's shoulder, "i just need to ask you something."

"what is it?"

"have you seen (name) lately? the girl who usually come in with me."

"last time i saw her was around a few weeks ago," louise shrugs, "wait, did she go missing?!"

"yea, we're trying to figure out where she was last on the night of her disappearance. did she say anything to you...? anything at all," pieck steps forward with a desperate hand on her heart.

"she said something about going drinking with two friends... something about them being blonde and short," she scratches at her temple, slight pout on her face, "that's all i can remember."

"did she say what bar," pieck steps closer again, putting her hand on the door frame.

louise shakes her head sadly, eyes dropping down to their feet.

with that, pieck broke into tears again and was led away by porco and annie. the rest of them followed behind, leaving louise inside her home.

"she has to be somewhere," pieck cries into her hands, "she has to be!!"

zeke's got a hand on his forehead while he loosely holds onto his glasses with his other hand. he lets out a choked out sob, and everyone turns to him.

"zeke... are you... crying?" reiner turns to look at zeke over his shoulder.

"fuck.. yea. it just doesn't make sense. she's gotta be somewhere," he rubs the bridge of his nose.

"maybe the guys louise mentioned know something...," bertholdt inserts as he looks in the rear view mirror.

the statement has pieck shouting at the meek boy, "we don't know what they look like!!! all we know is that one is blonde and one is short! we're at a dead end! we're fucking stuck!!!"

bertholdt visibly flinches in his seat while his throat clogs up, hands gripping at the steering wheel. his eyes are welling up with tears that he doesn't let out. reiner's hand is on his arm in comfort, eyebrows bunched up in concern.

pieck wails once more, "god, i'm so sorry bertl. this isn't your fault. you were trying to help."

he sniffles, "it's fine. i understand. we're all just upset and desperate to find (name)."

"we'll find her soon enough."

————

the loneliness is getting to your head.

you're in the secluded dark even during the day.

you just crave to be with someone, so much that you're getting desperate.

a tug at erwin's sleeve has him stopping and turning back to face you. you've got tears spilling over your cheeks and snot running into your mouth while you lean on an elbow to hold onto his sleeve for dear life.

it's not even nighttime, it's early afternoon. erwin had just come into the room to feed you lunch and to just leave after that. but you couldn't handle it anymore. being alone made everything dark and silent.

even if the lights and televisions were turned on.

"please," you beg and rest your forehead against his arm, "please don't leave me alone."

erwin's cheeks are lighting up while his eyes widen. his hand comes up to stroke the back of your head as it now rests on his hip. he doesn't mind the wet spot forming on his pants, this was the first time you ever initiated anything.

"i won't, darling. i need to go put the tray in the sink and let levi know i will be in here," he's taking a step away from you, jumping at your sudden loud sobs and tugging.

"no! no! please, i don't want to be alone," your eyes are squeezed shut while you grip onto his pants for dear life.

"but i need to go put these dishes away. after that, i can—"

"no!" you scream and push your head harder against his leg, "no! please don't leave! i don't want you to leave."

he sighs, putting the tray of empty dish onto your bedside table. he grabs the room key out of back pocket before he picks you up bridal style.

"you run, levi'll break your legs," his fingers dig into your skin, but loosen at the frantic nod you give.

he manages to unlock your bedroom door in a complicated way, which you don't feel like questioning, and strolls outside of the room.

he goes out of your quarters, it's the furthest you've ever been. you're in a large room that connects into other rooms, the amount of doors is slightly overwhelming to you even as you look at them.

to your shock, you pass by people. living people.

they all seem to be staff, and the only sort of acknowledgement you get from them is a wide eyed stare with a dropped jaw.

"levi is still in his study, correct," he asks while shifting his hold on you.

a girl with ginger hair and auburn eyes speaks up, "yes sir! he requested no one to enter."

erwin nods and walks past the girl, who gives you a small friendly wave whenever you look out from erwin's arm.

you turn your attention back to erwin whenever you hear the sound of a door opening and closing.

you're in a new room, which is assumed to be levi's study, that's lighted up by the cloudy and grey natural light that shines through the blinds and windows. there are bookshelves on both sides of the room and you notice that on both bookshelves the order of the books goes from largest to smallest. levi sits at a desk in the middle of the room, facing the door, as his hand holding a pen runs across the paper.

"what do you need," levi looks up for a brief moment, but snaps his head up once more.

"what's the brat doing here," he motions to you in erwin's arms.

erwin's sitting you on a leather couch in the office, wiping away some tears with his thumbs. he steps away from you and takes ahold of levi by the arm, essentially dragging him to the door of the study.

the dawning realization that they're going to leave you alone has you tripping over your feet as you run to the door. your hand grips onto levi's shirt and you tug him towards you, pulling him away from the door.

"i don't want to be alone," you cry while shoving your face into levi's chest, he cringes at your snot and tears soaking through his shirt.

"oh," he blinks, awkwardly rubbing your back with his hand, "why'd you bring her here?"

"because she wouldn't let me leave to put her tray away, which i now need you to do. i'm going to get in the bath with her, which you are welcome to join if you'd like."

"i don't like baths, sitting in your own filth," he scrunches his nose up.

"to each their own," erwin shrugs, giving levi a kiss on his temple and grabbing ahold of your hand.

"come along, darling," he smiles at how quickly you intertwine fingers with him and join his side.

he leads you into a different bathroom than the one that you use. there's not much of a difference besides it size, the tub's size, and the long counter built for two.

"undress for me, love," his giant hands are massaging your shoulders before he pulls away and walks over to the tub.

you look to the bathroom door, only to find a doorknob with a keypad, something you didn't notice when you walked in, and frown. you just sigh and slip off the the pastel pink nightgown you were wearing, the fabric pooling around your feet as it drops to the floor.

you look up into the mirror, and you almost want to cry. you look nothing like yourself. you barely had any life behind those (eye color) eyes and your eyebrows were now naturally furrowed in sadness. you've got fading bruises on one side of your body, trailing downwards all the way to your calf.

you decide to take off your panties before you let your thoughts roam, stepping out of them after they've dropped to the floor.

you hear the door open, to which you and erwin look to. only it's not levi.

it's a young boy with ebony black hair and emerald green eyes that stands at 5'10.

you instinctively cover yourself up and turn your back towards him, embarrassing washing over you in waves.

erwin scrambles to block the boys view, who is seemingly enjoying it, and furrows his bushy brows.

"who are you and what are you doing here? where is levi?!"

"levi sent me sir. he gave me clothing for the girl and then said you would be in here," his eyes try to take a peek over erwin's shoulder.

erwin snatches the clothing out of his hand and slams the door shut in the boy's face. he scoffs in annoyance while he puts the clothes onto the counter, now focusing his attention onto you.

"i'm sorry about that, dear. are you alright," he puts a hand on your back and guides you to his chest.

"i'm okay," you sniff, "just wanna get in the bath now."

he smiles a bit, leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead before he steps away. you watch him rid himself of his white button up and try not to let your eyes bulge out at his body. however, you can't exactly resist the urge whenever erwin is finally naked.

erwin's stomach has abs carved into it, a well groomed happy trail leading to his cock. the thighs in his muscles and back are almost screaming out at you whenever he turns and lifts his hand to ruffle his hair.

you look down to his feet, feeling ashamed for even staring for so long.

he gets into the bath after a moment, knees spread wide for you to sit between. his arms are resting on the rim of the tub while he sighs at the hot temperature. you get in, goosebumps running up and down your body as the heat invades your colder body. you settle in between his legs and lean back against his chest, closing your eyes.

his arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him than you were before. you put a hand over his arm, silently giving him a message to keep his arms where they were.

his lips kiss at the crown of your head, and it seems sweet enough to where you think you might be able to smile. but you don't.

watching your eyes flutter, he mumbles into your hair, "the hot water make you tired?"

"yeah," you hum, "don't really like the hot outside of this. i prefer the cold."

"so does levi," erwin chuckles as he draws circles into your skin.

"does that mean you like summer?"

"no, i prefer fall or spring. both usually have the adequate temperature," he sighs.

"erwin," you ask after a few seconds, "why is levi so cold?"

"why are you only now asking?"

"i meant to ask sooner but i was never really... given the chance," you say bitterly.

"well, levi has been through a tough life. he almost went to jail before i met him. but it isn't my story to tell," he smiles at the memory.

you nod and finally let out a yawn, "i'm going to fall asleep soon."

from then, erwin washes the two of you so you both can get out of the bath. during this, you find out he's actually quite playful. he gathers up bubbly soap in his hands and blows them into your face, hearty laughs following immediately after.

he stands before you once you're out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his waist and one around your shoulders. you look up at him while he brushes your hair and puts on a few drops of lotion on your face.

you're trying to ignore the voice in the back of your head that maybe he really does care. because at the end of the day,

you still have a collar and chain on.

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Seven

a/n: this still isn’t the last of these two, I just like them too much! hope you enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are super helpful!)

warnings: slight angst, fluff, and smut

words: 18K

masterpost

“What?!” Harry reaches to turn the light on, and squeezes your shoulder as a silent apology for the abrupt light. “How…?”

“He…had a heart attack, I guess. My mom tried to wake him up because she couldn’t hear him breathing, and…” She sobs louder. “I have to go to Connecticut, and-“

“Where’s Noah?”

“He had to go to Vermont this week for a client, it’s just Rachel and I here, and I don’t know what to do! I can’t bring her with me, can I? Should I? I have no idea how long I’m going to be gone for, or what my mom’s plans are. I mean, she may need to come live with me Harry! I’m just, I feel all alone right now, and…”

“I’m coming over.”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not, I’m telling you that’s what’s happening. When’s Noah supposed to be home?”

“Wednesday.”

“Alright, Rachel can miss school tomorrow, and she can home stay here until he gets back, that way you can just leave tomorrow.” He says, pulling the blankets back and finding his sweat to pull on. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Just try to take some deep breaths.”

“Thank you.”

Harry hangs up and sighs. He blinks a few tears away before looking at you.

“Paige’s father passed away.”

“Oh no.” You frown. “That’s terrible.”

“Noah’s in Vermont, and she’s home alone with Rachel. I’m so sorry, but I have to go make sure she’s alright. As annoying as her parents are, she was close with her dad, and-“

“I understand.” You swallow. “You’re all she has around her, you should go.”

“Thank you.” He knees onto the bed to hug you. “You’ll be fine here with Andy?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.” He runs a hand through his hair. “If I’m not back before he gets up tomorrow…wait for me to explain it to him, please?” You nod at him. “I have to bring Rachel back with me tomorrow. I’m gonna keep Andy home from school. I don’t know how he’ll take it, but I wanna make sure he doesn’t feel like he needs to be anywhere but with me, or if he wants to go to Connecticut with his Mum, I wanna give him that option. Fuck it, if I need to get him there I will, I-“

“Harry.” You stand up and take him in your arms, hugging him. “Go, she needs you.”

He presses his lips to yours before letting go of you. He grabs a couple of things before quietly heading out. You sigh heavily and get back into bed. You knew this was all part of loving Harry. All of this came with him, but it still stung a little to watch him leave. You groan and get over yourself. You couldn’t imagine going through what Paige was right now. You’d call Harry too if you were in the same situation.

//

Harry lightly taps on the front door of Paige’s home around one in the morning. She swings it open as she was waiting by the door for him.

“Harry.” Her voice cracks as she throws her arms around him.

He holds her close and lets her cry into him. He gets the door closed and walks them into the house so they can sit in the living room. He keeps his arms around her while she continues just to let it out. When he feels her breathing evening out, he speaks up.

“When did your mum call?”

“Um, it was my sister.” Paige says, wiping some tears away, looking up at Harry. “My mom called her first, and then she called me. They called an ambulance right away, and he was pronounced dead on the way there. I mean, I suppose it was peaceful since it was in his sleep, but...I thought he had more time, you know?” She sniffles.

“I know, I’m so sorry.” He rubs at her back and shoulder and she nuzzles into his chest.

“Thank god Allie lives within thirty minutes of them, I don’t know what I’d do. She said we’d talk more tomorrow, but she doesn’t think mom can live with her, she just doesn’t have the room like I do.”

“You only have the room because Allie didn’t wanna move out of the city to take this place. Now she’s using it as leverage.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“She couldn’t move out of the city, her and her husband need to live there for work…”

“I’m aware of that, Paige, I just think she set you up is all.”

“At any rate, she’s going to help my mom sell her condo, and-“

“Well, she should…she’s a fucking real estate agent. It’s the least she can do.” Harry scratches at Paige’s head like he knows she likes and it helps her calm down more.

“I’ll probably have to hit the road tomorrow to help with the arrangements. He’s had it in his will to be buried out there. God, I’m gonna have to take so much time off work, and all this before Christmas.” Her bottom lip quivers.

“Was it…a nice Thanksgiving at least?”

“It was! He was so much nicer than he usually is. Andy even made him laugh! I suppose it’ll be a nice last memory of him. I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to Andy.”

“He should go with you…to Connecticut. He’ll wanna say goodbye to his Gramp.”

“He’ll be so bored with me running around.”

“He can hang out with his cousins. I’m sure plenty of your family will be coming in for it.”

“Are you okay with him missing so much school?”

“It’s not like he’ll be missing much this time of year. I can talk to him about it tomorrow.” He grabs the blanket on the back of the couch to put over the two of them.

“Thank you for being here last minute. I felt terrible calling Noah the way I did. He could barely understand me, and I just didn’t know what else to do. Hopefully I didn’t wake poor Rachel.”

“This is a big deal, I wouldn’t leave you by yourself.”

“Wait…” She says after a few moments of silence. “If you’re here, where’s Andy?”

“At home.”

“By himself?!”

“No! Y/N’s with him…”

“You called her to have him stay with him?”

“No, she was already there, um, this was her first time staying over on a school night.”

“Harry.” Paige sighs. “You can’t leave your current girlfriend in bed to go be with your ex-girlfriend.”

“Well, I did, and I’ll deal with it later. She said she understood.”

“Of course she did! What was she gonna say, don’t go? She knows she couldn’t say that. Fuck, now she’s gonna hate me.”

“No she won’t. Listen, just try to relax, okay? You’re gonna have a long drive, I’ll be worried enough about you getting there in one piece. I should just go with you.” He pinches the bridge of his nose as he thinks it over.

“Nope, no way. My family would eat you alive if you did that. Noah will probably come once the actual funeral date is scheduled. I can drive on my own, I’ll be fine, I’m just still in shock.”

“It’s a lot to process.”

The two end up falling asleep together on the couch. Little did Paige know is that Noah cut his visit with his client short to get home to her, so needless to say he was little annoyed when he walked through the door at the crack of dawn.

“Um…hello?”

Harry and Paige’s eyes snap open and they stand immediately to get away from each other.

“Noah!” Paige’s eyes well up immediately as she walks into his arms. “You’re back so soon?”

“I got on the road as soon as I could. How are you holding up? I see you called Harry…”

“I…well…I didn’t know what else to do, and-“

“Well, I guess I should get home now that he’s back, and I guess Rachel won’t need to come stay with me. Let me know what you wanna do about Andy, okay? I’m gonna tell him he doesn’t need to go to school today either way.”

“Alright.” She nods. “Um, I’ll probably need a couple of hours. I need to speak more with Allie about everything.” She nuzzles into Noah for a moment before letting go of him. “I’m gonna go take a shower, thank you again for coming.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze before going up the stairs.

Harry and Noah share an awkward moment of eye contact.

“I didn’t think you two were still so comfortable together to fall asleep like that.” He says, crossing his arms. “And why would my daughter need to go stay with you?”

“Okay, first of all, we were both exhausted, so pardon us for falling asleep innocently on the sofa. Second of all, we both thought you wouldn’t be home until Wednesday, so I offered to have Rachel come stay with me until you got back. Or would you have preferred her stay here by herself?” Harry looks Noah up and down. “Don’t start with me, mate. She needed someone, and I’m the closest thing she has to family around here.”

“And you just so easily sprang into action?”

“Her father died! What would you have done? Stayed home and not come to comfort her? Give me a fucking break. I’ll chalk this up to you being tired or something because I sure as hell know you’re not accusing me of something.”

“I just think you should worry about your own girlfriend. I don’t think she’d love knowing you slept with Paige.”

“Don’t say it like that, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it like Harry?! You could have told her to go back up to bed, and you could have stayed down here or gone home once she got back to sleep, but no, there you were with your arms around her. You’re not gonna get over her.”

“You don’t what you’re talking about.” He shakes his head. “I’m in love with Y/N, not Paige. I…you know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you. She called me, I came here, now you’re here, go make your fiancé feel better instead of worrying about me.” Harry practically spits before leaving in a huff.

//

You had trouble sleeping in Harry’s bed without him, so you got up early to make a big breakfast because you just didn’t know what else to do. The smell of pancakes filled the house, and it woke Andy up. He was all out of sorts because pancakes were usually a weekend breakfast. He came out of his room and you pouted at how cute he was. He was wearing an oversized t-shirt, no doubt Harry’s, and a pair of joggers, with his blanket wrapped around him.

“What’s going on?” He knuckles at his eyes before sitting down in front of the plate you made for him.’

“Dad had to step out, but he’ll be back soon. You, uh, don’t need to go to school today.”

“Did it snow?”

“No…he’ll explain when he gets back. Just, um, eat your breakfast and then go wash up if you haven’t already, yeah?”

“Okay…thanks for making this.”

“You’re welcome.”

You get comfy on the couch and watch some morning TV while Andy goes to brush his teeth and wash his face. Sister, Sister was on, a perfect distraction. Andy comes over to sit with you, but it was still so early, he just felt groggy, and he looked so adorable with his floppy curls in his face. He grabs one of the throw pillows.

“Could I…?” He gestures to put it in your lap.

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” He mutters as he gets his head comfy in your lap, and his eyes flutter closed.

You mindlessly play with his hair to keep him comfortable. It was something Harry liked you figured he’d like it too. You felt terrible for him. You didn’t know how close or not close Andy was with his grandfather, but you guessed this would be his first time dealing with a major death in the family. Harry comes in about two episodes into Sister, Sister and you put your finger up to your lips to signal to be quiet. He wants to cry at the sight in front of him. His son feeling so comfortable to cuddle up with you was so sweet. He wished he could do the same, but he needed to wake up a bit more before having the tough conversation with Andy. He sees that you’ve made coffee, and he sees the leftover pancakes and he smiles. Yup, this was exactly where he wanted to be. He sips on some coffee and then comes over to the two of you.

“Andy?” He says softly, rubbing his son’s back. “I need you to wake up, buddy.”

“Y/N said I didn’t need to go to school.” He groans.

“You don’t, but I have to talk to you about something…privately.”

Andy sits up slowly and gives Harry a confused look.

“Where were you?”

“At Mum’s.”

“Why?”

“Can we go talk in your room?”

Andy looks over at you and you nod to go with Harry, so he listens and stands up. Harry puts his hand on Andy’s back and mouths a ‘thank you’ to you. Once they’re both in his room, sitting on his bed, Harry takes a deep breath.

“Mum called me late last night…Noah was in Vermont so she didn’t want to be alone.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Um, well, Gramp…passed away.”

“What?!” Andy’s eyes start to tear up.

“He passed peacefully in his sleep, but Mum didn’t find out until late last night.”

“So, he’s, like, gone?”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so.”

“But, he can’t be! I just saw him the other day!”

“I know, these things can happen so suddenly sometimes. I’m really sorry.” Harry pulls Andy into him, and that’s when the waterworks start. Harry holds his son close as he lets Andy process everything.

“Is Mummy okay?” Harry’s eyes widen. He couldn’t remember the last time Andy called Paige ‘Mummy’.

“She will be. She’s gonna go to Connecticut later today to see how she can help Gram and Auntie Allie. Would you like to go with her? The funeral will probably be over the weekend.”

“It’s okay to miss that much school?”

“Of course! It’ll be excused.”

“Yeah, I…I think I would like to go with her.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know. I’m sure she’d like your company for the ride.”

“What about Noah and Rachel.”

“I don’t know what his plan is…I’ll be honest, he’s not happy with me at the moment.”

“Why? You, like, practically came to Mum’s rescue last night.”

“Exactly.” Harry sighs. “He wasn’t supposed to come back until Wednesday, and he came back early this morning to Mum and I asleep on the couch together, so that was a whole thing.”

“You fell asleep with her?” Andy whispers, not that you were listening in. Harry nods at him. “Yikes.”

“Big yikes.” Harry chuckles softly. “Anyways, no school today, or the rest of the week since you wanna go with Mum. I’ll call the school to let them know what’s going on. I need to go cancel my classes for the day, and I need to see what Y/N wants to do. I feel bad she was here alone with you.”

“She made really good pancakes for breakfast, and then she let me hang out with her. Better than any baby sitter.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Harry reaches to stroke Andy’s cheek. “Why don’t you go take a shower and then get your things ready? I need to pull your suit from my closet and all that.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna text Brandon to let him know I won’t be at school for a few days, is that alright?”

“Yeah, let him know.”

Harry leaves Andy to do his thing. You were now in the kitchen cleaning up.

“Hey.” He says to you. “I’m really sorry for just leaving you like that last night.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not…I…should have brought you both with me or something, but I feel like I was panicking or something, and-“

“Harry, she needed you. Her father died, I get it.” You turn to look at him. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Andy’s gonna go to Connecticut with her. I need to cancel my classes for the day so I can stay home with him until she’s able to come pick him up.”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll do the same.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“I wanna be there for you, for the both of you. I can post some online assignments. I’m sure the students won’t mind.”

“I…feel like you should know in case it blows up in my face later…um, I slept on the couch with Paige last night.” Your eyebrows shoot up at that. “She sort of latched onto me when I got there, and I was trying to calm her down, and we fell asleep. It was nothing, like we weren’t, I wasn’t spooning her or anything like that, like it was…you know, platonic, and Noah got home and woke us up, and we immediately got away from each other, and she went right to him, and then he got mad at me, and now it’s a whole thing, but it didn’t mean anything, Y/N, I was just trying to-“

“Harry.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. “Please, just stop talking, you’re rambling.” You look at him. “You just so easily fell asleep with her?”

“I was exhausted, and so was she. It just happened, I’m sorry.”

“Did you kiss her?”

“What?! No!” He makes a disgusted face.

“Did you call her anymore nice names?”

“Like what?”

“You called her darling last night, and it made me feel…gross.”

“Oh, baby.” He puts his hands on your shoulders. “I’m so sorry, no, I didn’t call her anymore nice names.”

“Okay.”

“Why would think I kissed her?”

“I don’t know…maybe you kissed her cheek or top of her head or something.”

“I swear I didn’t do that. I just held her to soothe her a little, that’s all. It didn’t mean anything, I was purely there as a friend.”

“Okay.” You sigh. “I’ll email Lucas to let him know both of our classes are cancelled today so he can send one of those text alerts out.”

“You’re not mad?”

“How could I be? Your cuddles could cure cancer, they’re very powerful. I’d want you to hold me too.”

“I…thank you for being so cool about all this. I feel like I’d go bananas if it were reversed.”

“Well, it’s not, so you don’t even have to think about it. Plus, you told me right away about it, and I appreciate you being so honest.” You smile at him. “Please eat something, I left you extra.”

“Thanks, I am kinda hungry.”

A little while later, as you and Harry are both on your laptops in the living room, Andy comes out with all of his things. Harry had texted Paige to let her know Andy wanted to go with her.

“Andy, I’m really sorry for your loss.” You say as he sits down on the love seat.

“Oh, um, thanks.”

The doorbell rings and Harry sighs as he gets up. Paige looks much better, he notices, but she wasn’t wearing any makeup, and she was in sweats.

“Hi.” She says. “Is he ready?”

“Yeah.” Harry looks back. “Andy, come on.”

“Mum…” Andy slowly approaches mother with a quivering lip.

“Hi, baby.”

They throw their arms around each other. You sort of just sit there awkwardly until Paige steps in further and notices you sitting there.

“Y/N! Hi…I didn’t think you’d still…um, never mind. We’ve got a long drive, Andy, let’s get your things in the car.”

“I’ll help with that.” Harry says, and quickly grabs Andy’s things. You stand up.

“I’m so sorry about your father.” You say.

“Thank you.”

“Bye, Y/N.” Andy says, hugging you. “The pancakes were really good.”

“I’m glad liked them.”

“Everything’s in the trunk.” Harry says. “What are Noah and Rachel doing?”

“They’re gonna stay in town until Friday, and then they’ll come to Connecticut for the funeral Saturday.”

“Dad, are you gonna come to the funeral?”

“No.” Paige and Harry say at the same time.

“Um, Dad doesn’t need to go to this, Andy. Noah will be there, though, so that’s good.” She looks at you briefly, and then to Harry. “Could you go get buckled up?” She says to Andy.

“Okay.” He gives Harry a hug before going outside.

“He’s very upset with me…” She says in a whisper.

“Who, Noah?”

“Yes.”

“Your dad just died…”

“I know.” She deadpans. “He wasn’t happy about what he walked into, and even though he’s trying to be sympathetic, he thinks you and I are too codependent sometimes. The co should only apply to the parenting or something, I don’t know.” She blinks some tears away. “He’s never been a jealous man, Harry, I don’t know what his problem is.”

“He probably thinks that if I snapped my fingers you wouldn’t marry him or something. He’ll get over it. A few days apart, and he’ll forget all about me.”

“I just don’t want this to taint how good everything is with all of us. I shouldn’t have let you come over.”

“Don’t say that…don’t let him make you feel worse.”

“Did you tell Y/N what happened?”

“Yeah.”

“And she was okay with it?”

“She…understood. Not something we should make a habit of though.” He smirks and she rolls her eyes.

“Obviously. If his stupid fucking client hadn’t needed an in person consult then we wouldn’t even be in this mess.”

“Gee, thanks, nice to know I’m always second best.”

“I’m going before I smack you. Goodbye.”

“Safe travels, give my condolences to the family.”

“I will, thanks.” She looks over at you again. “Bye, Y/N!”

“Bye, sorry again!”

Harry closes the door and lets a long sigh out before looking at you.

“I need a fucking shower.” You nod at him. “Join me?” You nod again and follow him into his bathroom.

“Noah’s really pissed, huh? I slightly overheard.”

“Hard not to, I suppose.” He strips himself of his clothes and turns the water on as you get rid of your own clothes. “He…and remember this was years ago before they were even together, but he knows about the few times she and I hooked up after we broke up, so I think he thinks that could all easily happen again, but he’s fucking delusional if he thinks I would ever do something like that. I would never let her cheat on him, nor do I have any desire to fuck her, please know that.” He steps into the water and guides you in with him.

“Then why does he think she wants to fuck you? That must clearly be the issue.”

“I swear she doesn’t, but he think I have this, like, spell over her or something, I don’t know.”

“You are dangerously charming.” You smirk.

“Stop it.” He chuckles. “This isn’t new. This tension builds every so often, and then we have these little flare ups. It’s why we don’t hang out a lot, not that we would anyways, but we don’t do a ton of things together unless it involves Andy, rightfully so.”

“Then it’s like you said, he’ll get over it.”

“Exactly. He loves her, he just needs to get over himself. If I had to take any bets I’d say he won’t wait until Friday to go to Connecticut, I’ll bet he’ll get there tomorrow or Thursday.”

“Well, at least Andy’s with her now.”

“Yeah, I’m proud of him for going.” He wraps his arms around your waist. “Now, can we please talk about anything else?”

You smile and wrap your arms around his neck as the warm water cascades over the two of you.

“Why talk at all?”

He smiles and leans in to kiss you. Harry needed some comforting of his own, and if his cuddles could cure cancer, then your kisses could cure just about everything else.

//

“So…you and Harry both cancelled classes yesterday…” Janette says to you over coffee Wednesday morning at the little shop downtown. She was the physical version of that knowing eyes emoji.

“It’s not what you think…Paige’s father died.”

“Oh my!”

“I know, and it was this whole thing, and I didn’t wanna leave him, so I cancelled also. It’s fine, all my students did their online assignments.” You shrug and take a sip of your warm drink.

“Is Harry alright?”

“Yeah, I think he felt bad more so for Paige. He seems pretty indifferent about Nathan being gone, though. He wasn’t exactly nice to Harry.”

“I definitely get that. In laws can put a lot of strain on a relationship.”

“He spoke to Andy last night when they got there, and he’s doing fine, so that’s all that matters.” You say as you both brave the cold back up to campus. “Men are…jealous creatures.”

“Very territorial. Like a dog with a fire hydrant.”

“It’s a little degrading, isn’t it? To be compared to a fire hydrant?”

“What happened, exactly?”

“He fell asleep with Paige, like I said, it was a whole thing. Anyways, I guess Noah was really upset about it, but I…didn’t care all that much. I feel secure in what we have, but Harry told me if the situation was reversed he would have flipped most likely.”

“If you had fallen asleep with an ex, you mean?”

“Correct.”

“Interesting.”

“I thought I would have been more upset, especially since I know how Harry sleeps. He’s like a koala bear.” You chuckle. “But he assured me nothing like that happened, and I believed him.”

“It’s a good sign he told you straight away.”

“I guess I just don’t fully understand the jealousy. I mean, I don’t exactly love it when she just drops by, but that’s only because I’m never sure what my place is, you know?”

“Harry is a special breed of man, Y/N. He’s extremely attractive, yes, but he’s also a dork. Fucking a ton of girls probably wasn’t in the cards for him, so when he did find a girl to fuck, he latched onto her. A simp, as the kids would say.” She smirks.

“He told me he used to hook up a bit before we met…”

“And he did, but he had these regular girls. He was terrible at a one night stand, he just couldn’t bring himself to fuck a girl and then leave, you know? So he’d be with the same person for about a month and then move on.”

“He is very simp-like, now that I think about it. Like…my water bottle could be on the coffee table, and I could easily get it myself, but I’ll ask him to do it, and he doesn’t even question me, he just happily grabs it and hands it to me.”

“There you go then. He’d do anything to keep you. Noah’s probably the same with Paige. Noah probably knows that he and Harry share this quality, so that’s when things get embarrassingly territorial.” You both enter the building. You had gotten an extra coffee for Harry so you go right to his office.

“Got you a coffee, Har.”

“Oh!” He smiles and stands up to take it from you. “Thank you.” He kisses your cheek. “How is it out there? Nippy today.”

“Very.” Janette says. “Fucking windy. Winter break can’t come soon enough.” She sighs. “I gotta go prep for my next class, I’ll see you both later.”

You take your jacket off and sit on one of his chairs.

“How does soup sound for dinner tonight?” He asks as he comes to sit next you.

“Oh, are we having dinner tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “I have a lot of work I need to do tonight, babe.”

“I just thought…um…”

“I know Andy’s gone, but I can’t stay over every night of the week, Harry. I didn’t get anything done over Thanksgiving, I need to buckle back down.”

“But think of all the work you’ll get done when I’m away in London.”

“Don’t do that to me, that’s not fair.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re making me feel guilty for being busy.” You sigh. “I can’t come over tonight, maybe tomorrow, or even Friday?”

“I could come to your place when you’re done working if that’s easier.”

“Harry, I love spending the night with you, and I’ll probably miss you when I go to sleep tonight, but I may not go to bed until after midnight depending how in the middle of things I am, I’m sorry.”

“Alright.” He sighs and takes a sip of his coffee.

“It won’t be like this forever. Just another year or so, and then it’ll be done.”

“And…you’ll stay here? You won’t get your degree and then say see you later?”

“Well, they hired me already, I may not be tenure track, but I’m here for the long haul. I’m here with you for the long haul.”

“Then I think it’s time I gave you something.” He gets up and goes into his bag, and then comes back to you. “Here.” He drops a key into your hand.

“What is this?”

“Spare key to my house.” He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s silly for you to always ring the bell and wait, and it’s getting colder so…just come in, you know.”

“Harry, this is so sweet, thank you.” You stand up and hug him. “I’ll…I’ll get a spare for my place made for you too.”

“Only if you really want me to have it.”

“I do! I really do. It makes sense on both ends.” You smile. “I love you so much.” You kiss him, but are interrupted by a tap on the door.

“Um…I’m so sorry, I have a meeting with Dr. Styles…”

“That you do, Brooke! Come on in.” Harry says brightly. “Professor Y/L/N.” He nods to you.

“Dr. Styles.” You nod back and giggle to yourself as you close the door behind you.

“Sorry about that, Brooke, we’re here to discuss spring courses, yeah?” Harry asks as he pulls her information up on his computer.

“Yeah! And no worries, it’s sweet that you’re dating, actually. Known you almost four years now, Dr. Styles, I was wondering when you were gonna settle down.”

“You and me both.” He mumbles as he looks over her current courses. “Okay, most important is your senior seminar…”

//

Thursday night you were pacing around in your apartment in just a large t-shirt, one of Harry’s. You had a highlighter in one hand and a journal article in the other. Harry was being amazing about giving you a little space, you felt sort of bad that he was alone in his house, but he was a big boy, and you were on the verge of a breakthrough. You were getting incredible work down, and you couldn’t afford to not.

The thing you learned about Harry, though, was that not only was he territorial, he was clingy. He was getting his own work done for sure, but he wasn’t under as much pressure as you were. Your PhD wasn’t on the line, he just had different deadlines for his manuscript. You hoped you weren’t putting him through too much by not being as readily available.

//

“Little too hard there, H.” Andre says as he shakes his hand out.

“Sorry, let’s take a break.”

Harry and Andre would sometimes go to the same boxing gym, and Harry had asked him to go with him since you were busy tonight. They each take their gear off and grab their water bottles.

“Everything alright?” Andre asks him.

“Oh, yeah! Everything’s fine, just miss Andy.”

“How’s he been doing?”

“Right now he’s fine because he’s getting to see a lot of his family that he doesn’t normally get to. Saturday will be rough probably, but he’ll be okay I think.”

“Can I ask…why aren’t you with Y/N right now? If I were a single parent I’d be jumping at the chance to be alone with my girlfriend.”

“I thought she would too, but you know how it is when you’re doing thesis work. She didn’t want to change up her routine and not get some work done. I’m hoping when I go to London she’ll get a fuck ton done so she can take a little break. I wanna invite her to the cabin for Andy’s February break.”

“So…she’s invited to that, but not to London?”

“Way too soon for that.” Harry says. “It’s only been five months. I did just give her a key to my place, though, and she gave me one to hers, so that’s nice.”

“I think you’re just scared to have her meet your mumma.” Andre smirks.

“Leave my mum outta this.” He says warningly. “That’s not it at all. Three weeks is a long time to spend alone with someone in a foreign country.”

“Fair point. She’d have no escape when she realizes you’re a twat.”

“Oi!”

“Come on, I’ve caught a second wind, let’s punch the bag for a bit.”

//

“Happy Friday.” You say to Harry Friday morning when you see he’s in.

“Morning, babe.” He smiles and gestures for you to come in. He gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Do anything fun last night?”

“I went to the gym with Andre.”

“Oh good! Did a little boxing?” You get into a fighting stance and pretend to jab at Harry which makes him laugh.

“Yeah.” He grabs your wrists to get you to stop. “That’s enough of that.”

“What’s wrong? Don’t want me to beat your ass up?” You giggle.

“You’re in a particularly chipper mood for someone who hasn’t had much sleep.”

Perhaps to help yourself get to sleep you used your favorite purple item to tire yourself out, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Just happy to see you, now let me go.” He releases your wrists. “Do you feel like grabbing a bite to eat tonight?”

“Like a date?” He perks up.

“No, I mean hanging out as friends, why would we go on a date?” You furrow your brows and gasp. “Harry, do you like me?”

“You’re the least funny person I’ve ever fucking met.” He chuckles.

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re an idiot.” He smiles and shakes his head.

“Okay, okay, yes, like a date. I feel bad that I was busy these last couple of days, I thought it might be fun to actually go out for dinner. Give you a break from cooking.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice, actually. Where do you feel like going?”

“Thai?”

“Oh, excellent idea. Could definitely go for some drunken noodles. Let’s make it like a real date, I’ll pick you up at your place and everything.”

“Does seven work?”

“It’s perfect.”

You blow him a kiss and leave his office. Harry was absolutely feral, he didn’t know if he was going to last all day and evening without getting you naked, but he was up for the challenge.

//

Harry wanted to kill you when he saw you walk out the door of your apartment building. You were wearing this long coat, but you had heels on, and you were wearing red lipstick. How the fuck was he supposed to get through his meal. You smile at him while he opens the car door for you.

When you get to the restaurant and get seated, he wanted to kill you again. A red dress to match your red lipstick.

“You’re staring.” You say as you look over the menu, and then look up at him through your lashes.

“You just look really nice, is all.”

“I do? I just threw this look together. Thank you.”

“Right.”

“You were thinking of the drunken noodle, yeah? I might do that too.”

“Wanna split that and some sushi.”

“Sure.”

You each order a cocktail with dinner and Harry gets distracted watching your lips move around the straw each time you take a sip. Not only that, but your lipstick ends up smearing onto your chopsticks. You both chat about how your weeks went, and what you were planning for finals.

“How’s your actual paper coming?”

“Good! My references page grows every day. I’ve got twenty pages written so far, but I have to edit what I have so it’ll be like ten when I’m done. It’s awfully frustrating.”

“Any time you want me to look something over for you I’m happy to.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Lisa’s been looking things over for me. She’s really happy with my work.”

“Why wouldn’t she be, you’re brilliant.” He reaches across the table and gives your hand a squeeze.

“Thought I was an idiot.” You pout.

“I was teasing.” He rolls his eyes.

You hum your response just as your entrees come to the table. The drunken noodle didn’t not disappoint, and neither did your second drink. Once dinner is through, and Harry pays (even though you nearly lunged across the table for the check), you head out to his car. He hands you a mint to suck on and he pops one into his mouth. When he pulls up to your building, he parks, and turns the car off. He unbuckles and so do you, but you stop him from opening the door. He looks at you confused, but you grin, and get your fist around the collar of his jacket and yank him towards you, slotting your mouth over his. It was probably too cold to be making out in the car, but Harry was too busy feeling dizzy from your kiss to care. You suck on his tongue, tasting the mint he had been sucking on. Your hands go to his hair, messing it up completely. Your tongue drags from his jaw to his neck, and then you bite down.

“Can’t leave a mark there.” He grunts, but doesn’t pull you away.

“You’re absolutely right, sorry.” You wipe the corners of your mouth. “Let’s go inside.”

Harry nods and gets out of the car, jogging around the other side to open your door. Once you’re inside your place, and your coats are off, you’re on him. You take him by surprise, pressing him up against the wall right outside your bedroom. You suck on his bottom lip as you unbutton his shirt. You leave kiss marks from your lipstick down his stomach. You undo his belt and get his pants to drop to the floor. You get into a ski-squat position to kiss his growing bulge over his boxers.

“Y/N, please.” He breathes.

“You tease all the time.” You look up at him. “Why can’t I?”

“Because…”

“What’s that?” You stand up fully. “Can’t find a good enough reason?” Harry swallows hard as you look him up and down.

“I’m a bit tongue tied at the moment.”

“Don’t tell me after all this time that I still make you nervous, Harry.” Your lips ghost the shell of his ear as your hand slides down his body, palming him through his boxers.

“Who said you made me nervous, ngh, in the first place?” You step back and give him a look. “Okay, you used to make me a little nervous, but that was only because my feelings for you caught me off guard. If I had time to get ahead of it, you would have been the nervous one.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Harry kicks his jeans away, and dips down to lift you over his shoulder. You squeal and giggle as he carries you into your bedroom. You loved when you could rile him up like this. Just as there were times you wanted to make all the decisions for him, you liked it just as much as when he made all the decisions. After the week you had of research and writing, you just wanted to be taken care of. That’s why you wore the dress, and that’s why you wore the lipstick. You knew it would work him up all night.

“What are you gonna do to me, Harry?” You ask innocently once he’s gotten you on the bed.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks as he shrugs his shirt the rest of the way off and sets his glasses down.

“I want…you to do whatever you want.”

“You sure wanna give me the full reigns like that? Because I would love to-“

“You’re not fucking my ass.”

“Ever?”

“I’ll tell you what, I get to do you first. You should have to feel what it’s like, and if it doesn’t hurt, then you can do me.”

“Okay.” He shrugs.

“Okay?!”

“Yeah.”

“You want me to fuck your ass?!”

“If it means I get to fuck yours, I’ll even let you tie me up when you do it.”

“Oh…well, that’s actually pretty tempting.” You look off as if to think about it. “A conversation for another time, though. For now…just do whatever else.”

“Okay.” He knees onto the bed and hovers over you, kissing you tenderly. “I’m gonna fuck you with these heels on.” You giggle at him. “With just these heels on.”

The best kind of shiver goes up your spine and you bite your bottom lip. You get off the bed and stand so he can unzip your dress. Harry slowly drags the zipper down, and kisses on your neck and shoulder. Your dress drops to the floor and you smirk as you turn around.

“What…the…” His eyes nearly pop out of his head.

He thought you were simply wearing black nylons, but you had actually worn thigh high stockings attached to a garter belt. You had a pair of black lace panties and a bra to match.

“Do you like it?”

“You’ve been spoiling me with all these little outfits.” He hands go to your hips. “You look so incredibly sexy, Y/N. How’d I get so lucky, hm?”

“I ask myself the same question all the time, Harry.”

His hands slide up your back as your mouths reconnect. He unhooks your bra and tosses it somewhere before getting you back on the bed. He kisses on your neck while his palms rub over your breasts, getting your nipples to pebble. He tweaks them a bit before working his mouth down to nip and suck. He practically slobbers all over you, but you don’t care at all, his mouth on you feels too good. You realize he’s giving you a hickey right on your nipple and you groan.

Harry works his way down your body, biting at the parts of the garter that were attached to your stockings. He tugs it all the way off, leaving you in the lace panties, stockings and heels. He licks his lips before kissing you through the lace.

“H-Harry, please.”

“Just wanted to see how wet you were.” He smirks and tugs the panties down your legs. “Good now?”

“Mhm, thank you.”

He opens your legs and blows softly on the area before licking the flat of his tongue up your center. He had you right where he wanted you, so he stops and you look up at him.

“Get on your stomach for me.” He says. You furrow your brows in confusion but you do as he says. You start to get on your hands and knees, but he stops you. “Nope, just stay flat on your stomach, babe.”

“Okay.” You rest your chin on your folded arms.

Harry sits on his calves next to you and starts running his hands over your ass. You fucked up when you told him he could do whatever he wanted because now he was just going to take his sweet time with you. His hand slips between your cheeks and he rubs around your folds. You take a deep breath as he daintily plays with you. He would take his hand away and your body would arch to chase after him. He was getting you wetter with each touch. His middle finger slides inside you and just as soon he slides it out. You look over at him and see the slight smirk on his face as he looks at his now sticky finger. He does it again and again, and then he slides two fingers inside you.

“Harry.” You whine.

“You’ve been stressed, I want you to relax.” He says as he slowly fingers you. It was agonizing, but it felt good the deeper he would go.

He slides his fingers back out and drags all of the wetness up to your other hole, and then he slides back inside, nice and deep. He shifts himself a little so he could still finger you, but his other hand had a grip on one of your ass cheeks so he could see what he was doing better. He brings his mouth down to nip at your plush skin, and then his tongue slides over your hole. You grit your teeth from the sensation. In the five months you’ve been intimate with Harry this aspect of things still surprised you. You welcomed it because he knew what he was doing and it made you feel really good, but it was still surprising nonetheless. You squeeze around his fingers and start grinding against him and the bed. You start breathing heavier, and you feel your orgasm bubbling up. He feels it too, so he pulls his mouth and fingers from you.

“Harry, please don’t edge me tonight, come on.”

“For someone that wants me to be in charge you sure like telling me what to do.” He smirks down at you, and smooth some hair away from your face. “If you wanted it quick why didn’t you just fuck me instead?”

“I…I…I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna make you wait for long. Just…humor me, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He smiles and goes to sit up against your headboard. He opens his legs and looks at you.

“Come sit in front of me.”

You sit up and do just that. He uses his legs to hook over yours to keep yours open. You welcome the weight of his on yours. He didn’t want you to be able to clamp together, this you were sure of. He makes a fist with your hair and wraps it around his wrist to move your head how he wants. He tilts your head so you’ll look at him, and he leans in to kiss you. Just as his tongue meets yours, his other hand travels down your body, giving your breast a nice squeeze before getting to your clit. You gasp into his mouth. His lips don’t leave yours even though you’re practically breathing him in and out. His fingers go between your folds, gathering all you’ll give him, and then back to your clit to rub circles into you. You hook an arm up around his head to tug at his hair, and your other hand digs into his thigh. He loved when he could get you like this, just totally at his mercy.

“H-Harry.” You mumble against his lips. He sucks on your bottom lip as two of his fingers slip inside you while his thumb stays on your clit. “Fuck.” You breathe.

You were getting close again, and you wanted to close your legs desperately, but his were stronger, so he keeps you in place. He does let you grind against him, though, so you’re grateful. His curled fingers were petting perfectly against your spongey front wall. You could feel how swollen your lips were getting from him continuously kissing you.

“Oh…oh my god.” You moan.

“Yeah? Feel it coming?”

“Yes.” Your eyes flutter open just for a moment, and you see him waiting for you to finish your statement. “Harry.”

“I want you to feel so good, come for me, Y/N.” He says as his lips ghost against yours.

“Shit, H-Harry.” You were squeezing around his fingers again. “Feels amazing.”

“Let go, Y/N.” He bites at your lower lip again and starts rubbing your clit furiously.

“Oh, fuck!” You start panting against him and then you lose it. Your head rolls back against his shoulder and your back arches. Your nails press crescents into his thigh. He rubs gentler as you come down from your high and catch your breath. He presses kisses to your cheek and neck.

“Wasn’t so bad was it?” He whispers into your ear, causing goosebumps to raise all over your body. “Waiting just a little bit?”

“No, it was fine.” You crane your neck to look at him. “You just like to play too damn much.” You smirk, and it makes him laugh into your neck. “Will you fuck me now?”

“Yes, baby.”

He lets you settle comfortably onto your back as he gets his boxers off, and a condom on. He gets on top of you and slides in, a sigh of relief leaving your lips. You hold him close to you, wrapping your arms and legs around him, your chests rubbing against each other. He rocks in and out of you as you hold his head to your neck. He sucks on your skin, overwhelming all of your senses. You start feeling your eyes burn with tears, and you try to blink them away. Oh no, you think to yourself. He kisses up your cheek and feels the wetness from the tears, and stops altogether to look at you, cradling your cheeks his hands.

“What’s happening, am I hurting you?!”

“No! I…” You start laughing as you cry. “I just feel really good.”

“So you’re crying?!”

“It happens sometimes. I can’t really control it…it’ll stop on its own.”

“Fucking scared me.” He chuckles and wipes his thumbs under your eyes. “You…you look like a raccoon.” He bursts into a heavier laugh and so do you.

“Good, can’t wait to see how fucked up I look when we’re done.”

//

You did look awfully fucked up, and you washed your face accordingly before getting into bed with Harry. He wraps himself around you, and you almost feel high from how cared for he makes you feel. He was like the teddy bear you always wished you had growing up. Harry came with a lot of baggage, more than you really thought, but then again you only knew so much about him when you were just friends. Sometimes it scared you to basically be stepping into a motherly role for Andy when you had no idea how to be a mom. You babysat when you were younger, and that’s all you really had to base watching him on. But times like these, when Harry was holding onto you like his life depended on it, you really felt like none of it mattered. You’d take being a little scared of the unknown over being without him completely any day. You were happy that you were friends for a while before you got together, but knowing what you know now, and how happy he made you…perhaps you would have been less stingy about your feelings towards dating a colleague.

//

Sunday evening you were cooking dinner with Harry at his place. He had let you be Saturday so you could get some chores done, and so you could work, which you greatly appreciated. He did, however, ask you to spend the night Sunday because he wanted you there when Andy got back from Connecticut. The conversation they had on the phone Saturday after the funeral was rough, and Harry didn’t know if he could handle Andy being so emotional alone.

Just as you were getting the casserole you were making into the oven, you both hear the front door open. Andy looked exhausted, as did Paige. He perks up a bit when he sees you with Harry.

“Hi.” He says shyly. “I’ll come out in a minute, I just wanna put my stuff away.” He says and goes to his room.

“How was it?” Harry asks Paige as she steps further into the home.

“Rough…I…can’t believe I really had to say goodbye to my dad, you know?”

“I’m so sorry.” You say.

“Thank you.” She swallows. “Um, my mom is in the car, so I can’t stay long. She’s going to move in with us…which was a super fun conversation to have. Allie is taking care of her condo, and we were able to pack most of her essentials while we were there.”

“If there’s anything I can do…” Harry says.

“I know, I’ll let you know, thank you.”

“How is she holding up…your mom?” You ask.

“As good as she can. I think she’s still processing everything, she’s been stoic during the day, but I’ve heard her cry at night. I’m glad she’ll be with all of us. Noah was a huge help in keeping her distracted. He actually ended up coming with Rachel on Thursday.”

Harry looks at you quickly, and then back at Paige.

“I figured he would. Is everything fine with you two?”

“Water under the bridge…he also…feels bad for how he spoke to you.”

“It’s fine.”

“Anyways, Christmas will definitely be interesting this year, but we’ll all get through it together. There are some things I need to meet with you about…some stuff in my dad’s will you need to know about. Would you be able to meet for lunch or something this week?”

“Sure.” Harry takes out his phone to look at his planner. “I’ve got time Wednesday if that works for you.”

“Wednesday works. I’m gonna be working from home for a bit to get my mom settled, so I’ll be able to meet you easily.”

“Alright.”

Andy comes back out with his hands in his pockets.

“I’m gonna get going, honey.”

“Okay.” He gives his mom a big hug. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” She waves off to Harry and you before leaving.

Andy looks at the door for a few moments and then turns to look at Harry. His eyes well up, and his bottom lip quivers.

“Come here.” Harry says softly, and Andy throws himself into Harry’s arms. “I know, you’ve been through a lot.”

You come over to the two of them to rub Andy’s back, and it helps him breathe easier.

“You’re really brave, Andy. You did a good thing by going with your mum.” You tell him.

“If you wanna take another day off from school you can.” Harry tells him.

“No, that’s okay.” Andy sniffles and looks up at the two of you. “I miss my friends, and I just wanna get back into my routine.” He steps away from Harry and wipes his eyes. “Can I go call Brandon?”

“Sure, dinner will be ready in an hour if you feel hungry.”

“Okay.” Andy looks at you. “Are you staying the night?”

“I’ve been invited to, yes.”

“Good.” He smiles. “I like it when you’re here.”

Your heart nearly bursts as he walks down the hall to his room. Harry kisses your cheek and goes back into the kitchen.

“How are you doing, are you okay?” Brandon asks Andy over the phone.

“I’m doing better now…yesterday was the worst. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom cry so much. Noah helped her calm down, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, it’s weird, I’ve seen my mom cry before, and my dad is usually the one that can get her stop completely.”

“Your dad is so chill, it’s probably just his entire vibe, you know?”

“I wish he had been there.”

“Why didn’t he go?”

“I don’t really know. I guess my mom’s side of the family doesn’t exactly love him, but I don’t know why. She has to meet with him later this week to talk about something my Gramp left behind. No one tells me anything, though.”

“Did you get to see your cousins at least?”

“Yeah! It was so weird, like, people were laughing and having fun every day until Saturday hit. Then it all got real. I was looking at a ton of pictures of my Gramp from when he was young, and I sort of look like him…in the nose.”

“I was gonna say, you look just like your dad.” Brandon giggles. “It’s the hair.” Andy giggles too.

“That’s another reason why I wished he was there. My mom never gets the mousse right, only my dad really knows how to put it in.”

“Is that you get those really curly curls?”

“Yup.”

“Did you have to wear a suit?”

“Yeah, but I need a new one, I’m getting too tall for this one.”

“You’re gonna be a giant, Andy.”

“Last time I saw my doctor, she told me I was probably going to be six feet!”

“Holy shit!”

“I know!”

“So…you’re gonna be back in school tomorrow?”

“Yeah, did you get all my homework for me?”

“Mhm, it’s in my locker, and I took notes for you too.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. It was really boring while you were gone…I…you know, I missed you.”

Andy could feel his cheeks heating up.

“I missed you too.” He says softly. “Um, maybe you could come over sometime this week. I’m sure I’ll need help catching up.”

“Yeah! Hey…you missed when we talked about bus buddies for winter program, and…well…you’ll be mine again this year, right?”

“Who else would I sit next to?” Andy laughs. “Of course.”

“Okay cool, just wanted to make sure.”

The oven goes off and you take the casserole out. Harry takes a big whiff and hums in adoration. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your neck.

“Smells so good, babe. Thank you for putting this together.”

“Oh, it was no problem.”

“Ahem.” Andy says, smirking at the two of you. “You could save that for your room, you know?” He says as he sits down at the table.

“It’s just a hug.” Harry rolls his eyes, and cuts up the casserole as you get the plates.

“Right.”

“How’s Brandon?” You ask, trying to change the subject. You set a plate down in front of Andy and he thanks you.

“He’s good…he asked me to be his bus buddy for winter program again this year.”

“That’s good.” Harry says as he sits down.

“And he got all my homework for me and took extra notes. I told me we could hang out after school at some point this week, would that be okay?”

“Sure.” Harry shrugs. “I could bring you both to school so you could get your homework done.”

“No, I’d rather hang out here if that’s alright.”

“Okay, just pick a night and let me know so I can make something good for dinner.” Harry smiles.

Andy chews on his inner cheek, having not taken a bite of dinner yet.

“Andy…I can make you something else if you’re not into the casserole.” You say.

“It’s not that…my stomach just feels weird.”

“Weird how?” Harry asks. “Do you think you caught a bug or something?”

“No…I…feel, like, nervous? I can’t really describe it.”

“Nervous about what?” You ask softly.

Andy looks at you and goes to speak, but then he looks at his dad, and decides to take a bite of food instead.

“This is good, Y/N, thanks for making it.”

You and Harry look at each other. You know it’s best not to pry, so you let Andy sit there and eat. After dinner is cleaned up, Harry goes to take a shower since he didn’t have time earlier.

“Y/N?” Andy says to you shyly.

“Yeah?”

“Um…you’ve never seen my room before, would you like to?”

“Sure! I’d be honored.” You smile and walk down the hall with him. He shows you everything and you look around. “This is a really nice space, Andy.” You note the Ariana Grande poster on the wall. He also has a smaller poster of Michael Che and Colin Jost. “Do you watch SNL?”

“Sometimes Dad lets me watch reruns, yeah.” He looks over at his poster. “They’re both really funny, even if I don’t always get it.”

“Yeah.” You smile. “My dad used to tape SNL so we could watch it at as a family on Sundays. Then he could fast forward the more adult content.” You chuckle. “And you like Ari?” You point to the other poster.

“Her voice is pretty.” He mumbles.

“I think so too. She’s very talented.”

“Dad said he’d take me to see her next time she tours…but he doesn’t really like her music.”

“Well, luckily for you I do, so I’ll just go with you.”

“Really?!”

“Sure.” You shrug.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever feel nervous around my dad?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…how did you put it one time? Butterflies, can butterflies feel like being nervous?”

“Sometimes.” You sigh with a smile. “Yeah, your dad gives me butterflies a lot.”

“Does it ever feel scary?”

“It did at first, but now I welcome it. Is that the type of nervous you’re feeling?”

“I don’t…I don’t know.” He starts sniffling and you’re not sure what to do.

“Can I sit next to you?” He nods yes and you sit next to him on his bed. “Would you like a hug?” You didn’t want to just touch him without asking. He nods again, and you put your arm around him. He leans into you. “Is this because Brandon told you he missed you?”

“I just wasn’t expecting him to say that. I told him I missed him too. He said school was boring without me. I…he makes me feel this way a lot, and it keeps happening more and more, but I don’t really know why.”

“You two are just really close, it’s okay.”

“Did my dad give you butterflies before you got together?”

“He made me feel nervous, yeah. Like…I guess I wasn’t putting two and two together much when he would say or do certain things. I had a feeling he might like me, but it took me some more time to realize I liked him too.”

“You know how I knew he liked you?” He looks up at you with a smile.

“How?” You smile down at him.

“He started talking about you a lot at dinner. At first he’d say my friend said something funny today, or on Sunday nights he’d tell me he went out with his new friend, or how smart his new friend was during game night. Then he started using your name, and anytime I’d ask him about you he’d, like, smile before answering. It was obvious.” He rolls his eyes. “Then when you came on that hike with us…I had never seen him so…”

“Rigid?”

“Yeah! Good thing I was there, or he never would have invited you to my party.” He scoffs.

“Yeah, good thing.” You give his shoulder a squeeze. “Andy…you have a lot of time to figure out how you’re feeling about things and people. Middle school is a really confusing time, but I want you to know whatever you’re feeling is totally valid, and I’m happy to talk any time, okay?”

“Okay, thanks.” He smiles at you, and you share a hug before you get up. “I’m gonna read and then go to bed.”

“Alright, I’ll let your dad know, sweet dreams.”

You come out to the living room to find Harry watching TV. You plop down next to him and sigh.

“That was cute.” He says to you without looking at you.

“What?”

“The chat you just had with him.” He looks at you now with a smile.

“How did you…?”

“I popped my head in for a second while you were sitting with him. I didn’t want to disturb the moment so I walked away quickly.”

“I think he has a crush on Brandon. He has butterflies when he talks to him, and judging by what Brandon said to him, I could see Brandon maybe having a crush too.”

Harry sighs and nods.

“I…I’m petrified of him getting his heart broken this young.” He runs his hands over his face. “I’m almost hoping it’s reciprocated.”

“I think we’re all hoping it is.” You give his thigh a squeeze and snuggle into his side. “What are we watching?”

//

Harry was really nervous to ask you the question he had been avoiding all day, but he was getting down to the wire, and he needed to rip the band aid. It was Wednesday, and Harry was supposed to meet Paige, but she couldn’t get away from her mother for lunch. She had some time in the late afternoon, though.

“Y/N?” Harry taps on your door frame and you smile at him.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“Could I ask a huge favor of you?”

“What do you need?”

“Would you be able to pick Andy from school? I can call them and let them know you’re safe for him to go with. I…wasn’t able to meet Paige for lunch, but she has time in a bit, so-“

“What time?”

“He gets out at 2:30…”

“Sure, I could do that. My last class ends at two.”

“God, you’re a lifesaver. I’m sorry if this messes with your afternoon.”

“It doesn’t. Do you want me to get something started for dinner or help him get started with his homework?”

“No, that’s alright. Oh, shit.” He groans.

“What?”

“Brandon’s supposed to come over after school, fuck.”

“Harry, I can get them both home. I can just work up in your loft, right?”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

Harry’s entire body relaxes and he comes over to you. He tilts your chin up so he can lean down to give you a steamy kiss.

“I love you so much, thank you.”

“You’re, um, you’re welcome.” You mouth feels dry all of a sudden. He kisses you again before you can get a sip of water.

“I’m gonna call the school and text Andy. I have to go in a minute, thank you, Y/N, seriously.”

You nod as he steps out of your office. It made you sad sometimes because Harry really was doing the single dad thing, and you knew it wore in him at times. You wanted to help alleviate things as much as could.

//

“I’m so sorry about lunch, my mom was insisting on coming for the conversation, and I just didn’t wanna put you through that.” Paige says when they sit down at a coffee shop that was a midway point between their homes.

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“Y/N’s picking Andy up from school?” Harry nods at her. “Good.” She swallows. “So…basically…my father put you in his will.”

“What?!” She slides some documents for him to read. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know exactly. He last updated it three years ago, and he left all these personal letters with it. This one was for you…take your time to read it.”

Harry takes the envelope and opens it. His eyes widen when he sees the pristine calligraphy:

Harry,

I know I haven’t always been the best father in law, or whatever I’m considered to be since you and Paige never married. Looking back on it, I know Lydia and I could have handled things better with you. I’ve had some time to reflect, and I know money can’t buy love, but I hope you’ll accept this as some form of an apology. Thanks to you, I have a grandson, and he’s one hell of one. I’ve loved watching him grow, and every day I’m thankful you didn’t just pack up and try to take him to London with you. I’m leaving him some money as well, mostly a trust fund that can be used for when goes to college. He can access it when he’s eighteen. My wish is for him to go to whatever college he wants, and not have to worry about the finances. The money I’m leaving you, however, is to be set aside for a rainy day. I trust Paige with what will be left to her, but I need to know you have something just in case she ever runs into any trouble. I know she can take care of herself, but I know if she ever had a problem she’d go to you first. I know she’s met someone new, but she still speaks of you so fondly. I’m glad you two have worked things out the way you have, even if I don’t always express it. That’s more so for Lydia’s sake. You know what they say: Happy Wife, Happy Life.

All my love,

Nathan

Harry was speechless, and teary eyed. He had no idea Nathan had been harboring such kindness. Why not pull him aside some time and just talk man to man? The last time Harry saw him was at Andy’s eleventh birthday party, and now he was just riddled with guilt for sort of being a dick. Maybe if he had made more of an effort to speak with him they could have had this conversation.

“Wow, uh…”

“His note to me made me speechless too.” Paige says. “I think…I think he knew he had developed a heart condition, and kept it to himself so we wouldn’t be worried. He always said being the father of two girls made him want to be our superman, so…”

“So he kept his ailments to himself.” Harry sighs with understanding.

“Course I was closer with him than Allie, but I feel like that happens with any youngest kid.”

“You were very precious to him. You could tell. Allie isn’t close with your mother either, to be fair.”

“Can you blame her? Who would want to be close to such a shrill woman?” Paige scoffs. “God, and now she’s living with me.” She groans. “At least she has her own area of the home.”

“Paige…you need to make sure you set some boundaries. This is your home that she’s living in now, you get to make the rules.”

“I’m terrible at doing that though.” She pouts. “And Noah doesn’t wanna make waves with her either, even though she loves him. You’re way better at laying down the law. You never had a problem standing up to her.”

“Because I had nothing to lose.” He smirks. “What could she say to me?”

“Very true.” She chuckles. “Anyways, the lawyers are going to be cutting all of the checks soon. Since it’s an inheritance you shouldn’t have to worry about it getting taxed as income, and the check will be mailed directly to your house. The money for Andy will stay in the trust fund he set up.”

“Right, okay, all that sounds good. I mean, I know we both put away for his college fund, but it’s nice to know we have some extra cushion for it.”

“Yeah, definitely.” She sighs.

“it’ll get easier, Paige.”

“I know…” She looks away for a moment. “I just feel terrible that he’s not going to get to walk me down the aisle.”

“Maybe Andy could do it.”

“No, I want him to walk my mom down.” She looks at Harry. “It doesn’t matter right now, anyways. It’s months away.”

“This summer, right?”

“Mhm…you got our save the date?”

“I did.” He nods.

“She’s invited too…Y/N…I’m assuming she’ll be your plus one.”

“Oh, do I get a plus one? Here I was thinking I’d go stag and try to get in good with one of your lovely cousins.”

“Harry!” She smacks his hand playfully. “Don’t even joke.” She rolls her eyes.

“In all seriousness, you really don’t think it’ll be weird with me there?”

“No, I want you there…everyone does. Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not necessarily.” He shrugs. “I want you to marry Noah. I just know other people are going to think it’s weird because they don’t understand how we all are.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

//

Meanwhile…

You get to the middle school precisely at 2:30PM. You weren’t sure if Andy remembered what your car looked like, so you decide to stand outside of it, and lean against the passenger door. It was a bitterly cold day, clouds covering the sun, but you don’t mind it. Slowly but surely you start to see kids trickle out. Lines going out to buses, and other kids meeting parents at their cars. Andy and Brandon come out all bundled up. You wave at them and they hustle over faster.

“Hi, boys!” You say brightly as you all get into your warm car. “How was school?”

“Good.” They say at the same time.

“Y/N, how come Dad couldn’t come get us?”

“What am I, chopped liver?” You scoff and it makes them both laugh.

“No…just wondering.”

“He had to go meet your mum to chat about some stuff. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but this time worked better so I’ll be taking you home and hanging out. Anything in particular you boys want for dinner?”

“Can we have pizza?”

“Nice try.” You look at them through the rearview mirror. “Dad bought plenty of groceries on Sunday, we’ll be eating in.”

“I thought you said she was fun?” Brandon whispers to Andy.

“She is.” He whispers back and you smile to yourself.

You get the boys inside, and they practically race to Andy’s room. You fix them with a snack of cheese and crackers, and then go up to Harry’s loft. You didn’t go up there often because it was his work space, but you needed the extra quiet. His setup was great. He had an extra docking station so he could just plug his computer in and use two screens. All you had at home was an HDMI and a spare monitor. Your eyes widen when you see he’s added a new photo to his desk. He had a lot of family photos on the walls up here, ones of him and his mum and sister. Ones of his nieces and nephews, quite a few of Andy. Your favorite was the picture of him holding Andy skin to skin when he was first born. But the new one sitting on his desk was of the two of you. He must have just gotten it printed because it was from Thanksgiving. Phil had taken a nice picture of the two of you while you were still at his place.

“God, he’s so sweet.” You pout at the photo and shake your head. Focus, Y/N.

After two hours you decide your eyes and wrists need a rest. You go down to Andy’s room and clear your throat to get their attention. Brandon was sitting on Andy’s bed with a notebook and textbook open, and Andy was sat at his desk.

“You’re still doing homework?”

“Sixth grade is heavy, Y/N.” Andy says.

“Yikes.” You chuckle. “Well, have you decided what you’d like for dinner?”

“Tacos?”

“Sure, I could make tacos.” You nod. “I know your dad got everything for that, and I bet he’ll like it for dinner too.”

“Do you need help?” Brandon asks.

“I can handle it, but thank you very much for offering.” You smile. “When you finish your homework feel free to go play some video games or watch TV.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Andy smiles and turns back to his studies.

You nod and make your way to the kitchen. You were wondering when Harry would be home exactly. You didn’t think his conversation would take as long as it was. You knew you needed to make some ground beef for the boys, so you get that started first, and then you get the black bean crumbles together for you and Harry. The rest is pretty easy, you just needed to put out all of the fixings. Due to the sizzling of the meat in the pan you don’t even hear the front door open.

“Mm, smells like tacos in here!” Harry chimes as he takes his coat off. He comes over to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “You’re an angel you know that?”

“It’s just ground beef and taco seasoning.” You giggle as he plants kisses to your cheek before letting you go.

“No, it’s more than that. Thank you so much for getting them. What are they up to?”

“Finishing homework, I told them they could play video games when they were done, but dinner’s almost ready, so maybe that’ll be an after dinner thing.” You shrug.

“I’m gonna go say hi to them.”

You nod and watch Harry walk down the hall.

“Hi, boys.”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, Mr. Styles.”

They were both sitting on Andy’s bed, looking at something on Brandon’s smart phone.

“Dinner’s just about ready, why don’t you both wash up and then come to the table?”

The boys get up and go into the bathroom to wash their hands. Harry comes out to you putting everything on the table.

“Smell so good, babe, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome.” You smile.

The boys scarf their food down at dinner so they can play their video games. You and Harry don’t mind, it gave you a chance to have some adult conversation at the table. He tells you about the money Nathan has left him to put away, and he tells you about the letter he had left for him.

“That’s incredible.”

“I know, I’m still in shock, honestly.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Okay, I guess. It’s a really big change, you know? Losing a parent, and then having the other one move in with you. Her relationship with her mum is so strained, but maybe it’ll get better with them having to be around each other so much. That’s my hope anyways. Lydia can be such a…” He looks over at the boys and then back to you, whispering, “bitch.”

You nearly choke on your food from laughing. Harry cleans up the dishes since you cooked, and you go sit on the couch to watch the boys play Mario Kart.

“B, do I need to bring you home, or is Dad coming for you?”

“Dad’s coming around seven, Mr. Styles.”

Harry looks at his watch and sees that it’s quarter of seven.

“Did you get all your homework done?” He asks.

“Yes.” They both say at the same time.

Brandon’s dad comes to get him at seven, and he gives Andy a hug goodbye, and thanks everyone for having him.

“He’s so polite.” You say.

“Yeah, I’m really glad Andy is friends with him. Nice to have a good kid around him, you know?” Everyone goes back to the couch. “An hour of TV, then I want you in bed with a book, buddy.”

“Okay.” Andy says as he gets cozy on the loveseat.

Harry gets up a couple of time while the two of you watch TV after Andy goes to bed.

“What are you doing?”

“I just wanna see if he’s asleep yet, and he is. Totally zonked out now.” He grins at you.

“And?”

“So…” He nods towards his bedroom door.

“Oh!” You grin and get up. “You don’t think he’ll hear anything?” You whisper.

“Nah, he sleeps with music on.” Harry says as he closes and locks his door. “But locking the door can’t hurt for the time being.” He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into his chest. “Missed you today.”

“Missed you too.” You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.

“I wanna treat you. You were so good to me today, good to them.”

“Harry…I don’t need anything special for doing the bare minimum. I’m your girlfriend, and you have a kid, what I did today is just part of it.” You shrug.

“Even still.” He kisses you. “I wanna make you feel good.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “No teasing, I promise.”

“Okay.”

You strip yourself of your clothes and lay down on his bed. He strips down to his boxers and hovers over you, taking the time to lick into your mouth, to kiss you like he needed to. He’s wanted your tongue on his all day. Kissing you alone really did just make him feel good. It made him feel fuzzy all over, and he loved it. He trails his mouth down your body, not spending too much time on your breasts, but enough. He really didn’t want to make you wait that long this time. He parts your legs and kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, leaving a couple of love bites behind that had you squirming.

He sucks two of his fingers into his mouth and then brings them down to your center, pushing inside and twisting. He watches as your eyes roll back, then you prop yourself up on your elbows so you can watch him. He pumps in and out of you twisting his fingers each time. He sits up slightly, getting one of your legs over his shoulder, and uses his other hand to rub at your throbbing clit.

“Fuck, Harry.” You grit your teeth.

“Good?”

“Mhm.” You whimper.

“Good.” He kisses your knee and continues on with what he’s doing.

He does something that surprises you when he lets your leg go back on the bed. His fingers pump in and out of you slower, now starting to curl up, but he wells up some spit and lets it drip from his mouth and down to your clit. Your mouth falls open and your cheeks heat up. He flashes you a smirk before bringing his mouth down to your clit. He sucks harshly on you and you have to bite down on your forearm to keep from moaning out too loudly.

Harry moves his face from side to side, and then looks up at you as he keeps his mouth on you while letting more of his spit pour over you. One of your hands flies to his hair for you to tug on and his eyes flutter closed. His tongue laps around your clit as his fingers continue to work magic inside you.

“H-Harry.” You moan in a whisper. You were getting closer, and you didn’t know how much longer you could hold on for, not that you really needed to, but everything just felt so good you wanted it to last.

He makes the ‘come here’ motion inside you as fast as he possibly can, the tips of his fingers no doubt pruny at that this point from how drenched you are. You bite your bottom lip so harshly you think you’ve broken the skin. Your vision goes hazy and your back arches off the bed. You hear a ringing in your ears from the all the rushing blood. He gives you a moment to compose yourself before licking you clean. Your body jolts up from the sensitivity.

“God.” You breathe as your vision becomes clear again. “You’re, like, too good at that.”

“Thanks.” He chuckles as he straddles your hips.

“How come you like eating out so much?”

“Almost six months together and you’re just asking that now?”

“I’m suddenly very curious.”

“You’re stalling cause you’re sensitive.”

“Not true.” You scoff.

“Alright, well, I just like it.” He shrugs. “Nothing more to it than that. I like making other people feel good, it helps make me feel good. I’m always throbbing by the time I’m done, you know that.”

“Sorta seems like you have a praise kink.” You smirk. “It makes sense, you like hearing your own name, you get off making someone else feel good. Should I moan more about how good it feels, would you like that, Harry?” You bat your lashes at him.

“I’m getting the condom.” He says as he gets off you, disregarding your question. He slides his boxers down his legs. “Are you gonna be able to keep quiet?”

“I’d love to record us just once so you could hear how much fucking louder you are than me.”

“Don’t even fucking tempt me, you know I know how to set up a proper shot. Could have a professional looking porno on our hands.” He smiles coyly as he slides the condom onto his length.

“Lucky for you I have zero desire to watch myself get fucked.”

“Too bad, you’re so beautiful when you’re getting pumped silly.” He lips ghost over yours as he slowly slides inside you and you gasp into his mouth. “God, you always take it so well.” He smears his lips along yours and takes your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Want it from behind, need to feel you deeper.”

“I’ll do you one better.”

He pulls out and pulls your body so you’re bent over the bed. You prop yourself up on your elbows and he slides back in. You could really feel yourself stretching to fit him. He was nice and snug, and it just felt so right. He grips the back of your neck with one hand and keeps the other on your hip as he gives you long, deep strokes.

“Oh my fucking god.” You groan and clutch at the comforter.

“Better?”

“So much better, fuck, Harry.”

He starts ramming into you, almost making the bed move on the floor. You had to shove your face into the mattress to stifle your moans. He takes his hand off your hip, still using his other one to grip the back of your neck, and sucks his thumb into his mouth for a moment. Then he takes it to rub on your other hole, something he’s done plenty of times before. You were panting into the blankets, and then you come up for air when you feel his tip brush your g-spot. You press your cheek to the bed so you can breathe and moan out.

“Right there, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop, please.”

Harry grunts over and over, biting into his bottom lip, making sure to keep pleasing you. He grits his teeth because he’d be mortified if Andy heard anything. He was thankful that the rooms weren’t right next to each other at least. To make sure you stay quite though he yanks you back to him, still driving in deep, his hand moving to rub your clit, and his other hand moving to open your mouth. You take the signal, and start sucking on two of his fingers. You end up biting down on him when you feel your release come, and he bites into your shoulder to keep himself from screaming. He plants kisses over your shoulders as you both calm down. You release his fingers and he pulls out slowly. You turn around to face him and you kiss him.

“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Another kiss. “Never gonna let you go.” You throw your arms around his neck and his eyes widen. No one ever said that to him before.

“I love you too, baby.” He holds you close to him for a few moments, and then eventually you both get cleaned up. He couldn’t stand there with a filled condom forever, after all.

Six months, six entire months. Harry hadn’t had a relationship that lasted this long in a long time, which was pretty sad considering he was almost thirty-three. He holds you a little closer tonight.

//

A couple of weeks went by, and you had gotten into a routine of staying over Harry’s place a couple of nights a week, and when Andy stayed at Paige’s, he’d come to your place, just to keep things equal. Hanukkah was just around the corner, and you had plans to go see your family, but Harry would be in London by then, which was no problem, so you both decide it’ll be fun to exchange gifts on a snowy Sunday.

“I’m so glad finals week is this week.” You say as you peel the potatoes for the latkes.

“Same here.” He says as he gets his food processor out. “But…the closer the semester is to ending, the closer I get to leaving…”

“You don’t sound very excited.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I mean, I am…I’ll just miss you.”

“Aw, I’ll miss you too.” You give him a peck on the cheek. “Maybe we can FaceTime and you can introduce me to your family.” You smile.

“I’d like that.”

“Y/N…?” Andy says, coming up to you both with something behind his back. “I was hanging up mine and Dad’s stockings, and…well, I made one for you.” He shows it to you and you gasp.

It was a blue stocking with silver glitter, and your name was written on it in glitter as well.

“Oh, Andy…this is so sweet.” You lean down to give him a hug. “Thank you so much, I’d be honored if you hung it with the others.”

“Okay!” He exclaims before going back into the living room.

“Did you know he was making me one?”

“I did.” Harry nods with a smile. “Had me take him to the craft store the other day after school.”

You pout and look back over towards the living room, then back to Harry.

“You’re raising a very good boy.”

Harry smiles and gets the food processor going to shred the potatoes and onions. You use a cheese cloth to get all of the water out, and then you mix the rest of the ingredients in, and Harry gets some oil going in the pan.

“Andy! Wanna help me form the pancakes?” You holler for him and he comes into the kitchen very excited.

“Yeah!” He washes his hands and helps you make the pancakes while Harry minds them in the pan.

It was a lot of fun for the three of you to cook together. Harry also baked sugar cookies. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but that’s what the holidays were all about.

“That was so good, I’m stuffed.” Andy says. “I like it with the applesauce the best. I’ve noticed a lot of Jewish food is either fried or sweet.”

“Pretty much.” You laugh. “Are you excited to go to London soon?”

“Yeah! I love getting to see everyone. Grammy always gets me the best stuff.”

“Andy…we don’t go see Grammy because she buys you things.”

“I know that.” Andy mumbles. “But it does make it more fun.”

“What else do you like about going?” You ask.

“I get to see my cousins and my Auntie Gem.” He says as he starts to help clean up the plates.

“Alright, are we ready to decorate the tree?” Harry asks.

“Yeah!” Andy says and goes into the living room.

“Do you feel comfortable with that, Y/N?”

“Of course! Sounds like fun.” You smile.

Andy shows you his favorite ornaments, and explains why. He and Harry used to collect them, it was something just for them when he’d come to visit. You giggle when Harry lifts Andy up to put the star on top. You’re also extremely impressed because it couldn’t be easy to lift up an eleven-year-old.

“Since I won’t see you both for Christmas, I thought it could be fun to do this now.” You say as you grab your gifts for Andy. You and Harry already talked about doing this, but he pretends to be just as surprised. You all sit on the floor and you slide Andy his gifts.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Y/N.”

“Oh, sure I did. How else would I score brownie points with your dad?” You wink at him and it makes him laugh.

He opens up one box that has a couple of t-shirts in it. One of them has LIFE IS UNFAIR on it with a picture of a roller skate under it. His eyes widen and he beams at you. The other one has CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION? on it, and he smiles just as big.

“I know how much you like that show…so-“

“I love them!” He nearly tackles you with a hug, and you wrap your arms around him. “Thank you!”

“You’re more than welcome.”

“Where did you even find these?” Harry asks.

“I had them made on Etsy.” You shrug. “Here open this one.”

Andy rips the wrapping paper off, and gasps.

“Finally, I’ve been begging Dad for this game.” It was What Do You Meme. “Thanks, Y/N, I’ll be able to play this with my cousins.”

“You’re welcome.” You smile.

“I have something for you too, let me go get it!” He gets up and races to his room. Andy comes back with a small box that he clearly wrapped for himself. “Happy Hanukkah, Y/N.” He smiles and hands it to you.

“Thank you, Andy.” You tare the wrapping paper open, and then open the box. “Oh, wow.”

Andy had made a popsicle stick jewelry box, but he had spray painted it matte black and put some felt on the bottom of it. It was gorgeous, and you couldn’t wait to use it.

“Andy…this is amazing, thank you so much. I can’t wait to put all my rings and stuff in this.”

“Really? You’ll use it?”

“Of course I will! It’s just what I’ve been needing.”

“Cool.” He smiles and looks at Harry. “Well…I, uh, have some homework I need to go do, so…I’ll just be doing that.”

“Did you help him at all with this?” You ask as you move to sit on the couch with Harry.

“Nope, well, I set him up in the garage, but he did it all himself.”

“He’s very talented.” You look the box over. “Can’t even see where he used the hot glue.”

“I…could I give you my gift now? I don’t wanna wait until after New Year’s…”

“Sure! I have yours with me too!” You get up quickly and rummage through your bag for his gift and he grabs your from under the tree.

“Are you…upset at all that I won’t be here for the New Year?”

“Harry, I know it’s not ideal to be apart for it, but next year I’m sure we’ll be together to kiss when the ball drops.”

His cheeks heat up, and he leans in to kiss you.

“That sounds nice.” He nods. “I just felt bad…it was too soon to ask you to come with me, and-“

“Honestly…I probably wouldn’t have gone even if you did ask. And it’s not because I wouldn’t have wanted to, I just really need this time to get some work done.”

“Okay.” He gives your hand a squeeze. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“Thanks.” You smile. “Okay, open.” You plop your gift into his lap and he opens it with a smirk.

“Sunglasses?”

“I saw you looking at them at the Ray-Bans store…do you like them?”

“I love them! They’re great, how do they look?” He puts them on and makes a Zoolander face, making you burst out laughing.

“They’re perfect.”

“Thank you.” He takes them off and puts them into the case, and then kisses your cheek. “Here…I wasn’t sure what to get you…so I hope you like it.”

You side eye him for a moment, and then open up his gift. After clearing the wrapping paper you see it’s a flat, black velvet box.

“Harry…if you spent-“

“I know these sunglasses weren’t cheap, so I don’t wanna hear it, just open it, please.” You slowly open the box and your eyes widen. It was a beautiful necklace. The chain was silver, and the slide was a palm tree that had diamonds all over it. “You talk about how much you love the beach…so I thought you’d like the palm tree, but if you don’t we could go to the store and pick out a different one.” He watches you to try to read you a little, but you were speechless.

“I don’t want to return it…I…I love it Harry.” You look at it. “Would you put it on for me?”

“Yeah!”

You turn around and move your hair while he clasps the chain for you. You turn back around to show him. Usually it was him who looked like a wide eyed puppy, but this time it was you. No one had ever gotten you something like this before.

“It looks wonderful on you.” He tucks some hair behind your ear.

Normally you wouldn’t be so aggressive out in the living room with Andy home, but he did say he’d be in his room doing homework. You practically lunge towards Harry, wrapping your arms around his neck and crashing your lips on his. His hands cup your jaw as he sucks on your bottom lip.

“I’m so glad you like it.” He breathes as he presses his forehead to yours.

“M’never taking it off, and whenever someone asks where I got it I can say my amazing boyfriend got it for me, and I don’t care how cheesy that sounds.” You smile and kiss him again.

“It’s not cheesy at all, praise me all you want.”

“Don’t be silly.” You nudge him with a giggle. “Thank you, seriously, this was so sweet of you.”

“Sorry you won’t be able to use the jewelry box for it.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I have plenty of other things I can put in there.”

“Are you two done being gross?!” Andy shouts from down the hall.

“Yes!” Harry shouts back and starts cleaning up all the wrapping paper.

“Good.” Andy says, plopping down on the couch next to you. “So you like it?”

“Very much, your dad’s got quite the eye.”

Harry comes over with a mug of hot chocolate for everyone. He had been making it in the crock pot all day.

“So…” Andy takes a sip of his warm drink as Harry sits on his other side. “You know how last year I just stayed with Mum while you were still in London?”

“Yes.”

“It was sort of…annoying because I had to get up even earlier for school, and Mum is extra busy because of Gram, and I’d feel bad making her drive me for two weeks.”

“What exactly are you asking me? You can’t take two weeks off from school to stay in London, Andy…as much as I’d like you there.”

“No, I know that. Um…” He looks up at you for a moment and then back to Harry. “What if I stayed here with Y/N?”

“Andy…” Harry looks at you awkwardly. This should really be a private conversation, and Paige should really be involved. “Um, listen, your mum really enjoys having the extra time with you.”

“I know, but two whole weeks of all that back and forth?”

“If she’s fine with it, you could do like two long weekends with your mum, and I could stay here the rest of the time. It would sort of be like I was house sitting, Har.” You chime in.

“You’d do that?” Harry asks, almost shocked.

“Yeah.” You shrug. “If…Paige says it’s okay.”

“I’ll call her tomorrow to see how she feels about it. A couple of long weekends could be a good compromise.” He sips his own drink. “You’d really be okay with pick up and drop off?”

“It’s not like it would be out of the way, the school’s down the road.”

“I hope Mum says yes, I hated getting up early last time, and she doesn’t wake me up like you do.” Andy says to Harry.

“How does Dad wake you up?” You were very intrigued.

“I just go into his room and nudge him awake. Most mornings I have to rip the blanket away.” Harry chuckles. “How does Mum do it?”

“She yells down the hall that’s it time to get up and if I don’t she comes in and tickles me.”

“Hm, maybe I should try that.” Harry ponders.

“No!”

You and Harry laugh at Andy. You couldn’t believe he felt so comfortable with you that he wanted to be able to just stay at the house with you while Harry was gone. It meant a lot to you. You knew Harry couldn’t cut his trip short. The journal that publishes his works is in London, and he had a big meeting about his latest manuscript scheduled.

“So…you’d really stay here with Andy while I’m gone?” Harry asks you as you both get ready for bed.

“Yeah, as long as you feel comfortable with it.”

“I do.” He nods. “It means a lot to me that you’re always so willing to jump in and help.”

“Harry…” You slide into bed next to him. “You know...I care a lot about Andy. I love you, and he’s your son, and well…I love him too, simple as that.”

“This was the perfect day.” He beams at you.

“Yeah, it was.”

//

“He…he wants to do what?!” Paige was frantically running around her home while on the phone with Harry.

“I couldn’t believe it when he brought it up, but it does make sense…” Harry was putting some fresh polish on his nails while in his office. “He’d still be with you for a good chunk of time.”

“True…and it would save me from having to make all those extra trips.” She bites at one of her nails.

“Paige, please, that’s a nasty habit.” Her mother grimaces as she makes herself a cup of coffee.

“So…things are going well with your mother.” Harry says facetiously.

“Oh yeah, it’s all peaches and cream over here.” She rolls her eyes and goes down the hall to the office for some privacy. “Okay, so he’ll do two Friday to Mondays with me, and then spend the rest of the time with Y/N?”

“That’s the plan he’s hoping for, I believe. Are you okay with that?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I trust her with him. She’s been spending the night more with us, everyone seems comfortable.”

“Okay, well, if you trust her then so do I. Oh! She and I could finally have a little lunch date or something. You’ll need to give me her number so I can coordinate pick up and drop off.”

“I will, and yeah I think it’ll be the perfect excuse to get to know each other better.”

“Perfect, so I’m still set to get him at the airport on the first, yeah?”

“Yup, all that’s staying the same.” He pauses for a moment. “Are you doing okay? Is there anything you need?”

“I’m…better. Noah’s been a great distraction for my mom when I need a break. Allie and her hubby will be here for Christmas like always so that’ll be good, and she’s just about sold my mom’s condo, the paperwork’s almost done.”

“That’s great.”

“Thank you for asking though, I appreciate it.”

“No problem, just wanted to make sure.”

//

Harry and Andy were taking the Concord Coach bus to the airport, but you offered to drive them down to Logan since you’d be staying at your brother’s for the week. Andy thought you were a cool driver, way better than his dad and he let you know it right away. You drive them to the gate and get out to say goodbye.

“Safe travels.” You smile and give Andy a hug.

“Thanks again for driving us.” Harry says.

“Of course, I was headed here anyways.”

“Right.”

“Jesus, just kiss already, I’ll turn around.” Andy rolls his eyes and fiddles with his new friendship bracelet, making sure it was intact. Yes, Brandon and Andy made friendship bracelets for each other for Christmas, and Andy got the butterflies.

Harry glares at him for a moment, but you bring his attention to yourself.

“I love you, have fun.” You say to him as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you too, I’ll let you know when we get there.” He puts his hands on your hips and kisses you. You didn’t want him to let you go, but you knew he had to.

“Dad, the police are gonna yell at us, come on!”

“Okay!” Harry whips his head to look at Andy. “He and Paige both have your number, so that should be all set. If you need anything from me, don’t hesitate to call, I don’t care what time it is.”

“It’ll all be fine, Harry.” You smile and lean up to kiss him again. “Go on.”

He nods and takes Andy’s hand to go into the airport. You get back in your car and drive off. You’d miss Harry like crazy, but you were excited to spend some time with your family and spend New Year’s with your friends like always. Consistency put you at ease. You were also looking forward to getting some work done without any major distractions. When you get to your brother’s place, the wine comes out immediately.

“Okay, so this is like…the are you a good mom test.” Julian says. “I mean, you’ll be alone with his kid for two weeks.”

“It’s not a full two weeks…and I’ve been home alone with Andy before.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna be responsible for keeping him alive for longer than just a few hours.” Phil says. “Man, look at that necklace, it’s so beautiful.”

“Thanks.” You blush. “It was so sweet of him. Taking care of Andy is gonna be a piece of cake, he’s like my little buddy now. I’m more nervous for the one on one I’m going to have his mother.” You grimace. “We’re gonna have brunch or something.”

“She just wants to get to know you better, Y/N. Is that so bad?” Phil asks.

“No! It’s not bad at all, and I know I’m lucky that Harry’s ex isn’t some crazy bitch, she’s really nice, it’s just awkward. I’m fucking the guy she used to fuck…I’m in love with the guy that used to be in love with her.” You take a sip of your drink. “I know why she wants to meet…things are serious between Harry and I, and she probably just wants to make sure a psycho isn’t around her son.” You laugh.

“Speaking of seriousness with Harry…” Julian says. “You’ve been together, like, six months now right?”

“Mhm.” You smile and bite your bottom lip. “It’s going really well.”

“Have you two talked about where you see it going, though?” Phil asks. “I know it’s an awkward conversation to have, but I certainly would like to know what his intentions with you are.”

“I see it lasting, and I think he does too…”

“But have you talked about?” Julian asks.

“No, it’s sort of too soon, don’t you think?”

“No.” They say at the same time.

“Not when he’s almost thirty-three and you’re twenty-seven, Y/N. You’re not exactly kids.” Phil says. “I don’t want him wasting your time.”

“He’s not! We just haven’t talked about all that, I’m sure we will. We exchanged keys, that was a big deal. I’m sure we’ll have the conversation soon, maybe when he gets back.” You shrug. “The department’s getting together to take him out for his birthday, I made reservations at our favorite Thai place and everything.”

“That’ll be fun.” Phil says. “Do that, and then ask what the fuck is up.”

“Maybe not in those words exactly.” Julian chuckles. “But…you should know where you two stand.”

“I bet you we’ll talk about it once he gets a full report from Andy.” You smirk. “He’s bound to rave about me, or at least I hope he will. Harry hasn’t had a relationship in a long time, especially not one where his son has liked his girlfriend so much. I’ve also told him I don’t plan to go anywhere after I get my PhD…so we’ve had little snippets. You two worry about me too much. If I thought Harry was some fuck boy I wouldn’t be with him.”

“We’re just looking out for you, that’s all.” Phil says in defense. “We like Harry a lot, he was great to hang out with. I think you’ve found someone great, and I’m not trying to rush you into something, but I can’t help but worry about you, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” You smile at them.

Later that night as you get into bed, you think over what your brother and Julian said. You did need to have a conversation with Harry. You loved him so much, but you needed to make sure you both wanted the same things.

Harry: landed, exhausted, but we’re here. You’re either in bed or out having drinks, but either way, I love you and sweet dreams

Your eyes light up when you see the message from your man.

You: had drinks, and now I’m in bed lol glad you got there safely, get some sleep baby, I love you too

[desertno3]

Violet – Chapter Four (5/7)

When Sean finally meets his daughter, you wonder why you ever left him in the first place.

Sean Wallace x fem!reader Chapter Four: 1991 words

Prologue // Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three

A/N: Hi! This chapter became longer than I ever planned it to be lol and as a result this series is now going to be seven parts instead of six! Low-key excited about what’s coming up but for now, I hope you enjoy this chapter! 🧡🧡

Taglist: @ysmmsy​ @prettyinpayne​ @the-a-word-2214​ @peakywitch​ @danceyreagan​ @ella1grace03 @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes​

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this series! ​

You wipe your hands on a tea towel when you hear the front door open, signalling Violet and Sean’s return. You then hear Violet’s footsteps pitter-patter down the hallway, immediately followed by Sean telling her to come back and take her shoes off first. Smiling to yourself, you leave the kitchen and head over to greet them, finding Sean knelt down and helping your daughter out of the aforementioned shoes.

“We’re back mum!” Violet says happily when she sees you.

“Yes, I can see that, love,” You smile before giving her a look. “Vi, you know how to take off your own shoes.”

“It’s fine,” Sean assures you, leaning over to place them neatly off to the side. 

He had been visiting frequently ever since you and Vi moved into your new place - an arrangement you both had agreed on not long after everything had been dealt with. He wanted to be an active part of Violet’s life and you were more than willing to let that happen, knowing how much it would mean not only to him but to Violet, too. She still didn’t know the truth about Sean but it was clear she’d grown attached nonetheless, her eyes never failing to light up every time you told her Sean was coming over. Today, she had been particularly excited because he promised he would take her to a park.

“There was a pond at the park, mum!” Violet exclaims excitedly, practically bouncing where she stood. “And we saw so many ducks! And swans. And gooses! One got angry at Sean.”

She’s giggling as she tells you the latter and you look at Sean with an amused expression on your face. Still crouched before your daughter, he glances up to give you a deadpan look as if to say don’t even ask, which makes you snort.

You both miss the way Violet’s gaze flits between the both of you curiously, a happy smile forming on her face. She then throws her arms around Sean, hugging him farewell.

“Bye Sean.”

He sways a little at the force with which she throws herself at him but manages to steady himself, chuckling as he hugs her back.

“So eager to be rid of me, hm?”

Violet pulls away with a sheepish look on her face, “I’m going to watch TV now.”

“Go on then,” He taps her nose. “I’ll see you later.”

She grins at him and then she’s gone, energetically sprinting past you and down the hallway, making a quick beeline for the living room.

“You don’t need to run!” You call out to her but it’s futile, she’d already disappeared into the other room. Behind you, you hear Sean chuckle.

“You’re such a mum,” He teases, getting up onto his feet.

You let out an amused scoff in response, folding your arms across your chest. “Don’t even start, she'll be a little terror if I don’t give her some rules to adhere to.”

Sean smiles fondly, thinking about his little terror of a daughter. While you were mostly joking, Sean knew there was a bit of truth to your statement. It was a task and a half to wrangle Violet sometimes, the headstrong little thing that she was. Unsurprising, Sean thinks amusedly, considering who her parents were.

But as difficult as she could be sometimes, Sean had seen first-hand all the good values you’d managed to instill in her. You’d definitely raised a sweet kid, one who was wonderfully earnest and full of kindness, and he tells you just as much, with a genuine sincerity in his tone that catches you off guard.

“You’ve raised her well, y/n,” He says sincerely, leaving you speechless for a moment. You didn’t expect to hear that from him at all.

“Thanks, Sean. I feel like I’m a terrible mum sometimes,” You confess quietly. “So that’s… that means a lot.”

He smiles and you’re sure your heart skips a beat.

You didn’t want to admit it but you enjoyed Sean's visits just as much as Violet did. The more time you spent around him, the more you found yourself falling for him all over again. You’d forgotten how well the two of you could get along and on top of that, watching him and Violet spend time together made you melt. You had no real inkling as to how he felt about you but moments like these definitely didn’t help your growing feelings.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

It comes out of your mouth before you could even think to stop yourself and when you see the surprise and hesitation on his face, you immediately regret asking.

“You don’t have to, obviously,” You assure him, trying to backtrack. “You probably have things to do.”

He winces apologetically, “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go back to the office tonight, unfortunately. Take care of some things.”

“That’s fine!” You reply almost too quickly, embarrassed at the fact that you might’ve been too forward by asking him in the first place. “No worries.”

There’s an awkward pause where neither you nor Sean know what to say next and you sigh, feeling like you’d just ruined a perfectly good moment between you two.

“Well I won’t keep you then,” You continue as nonchalantly as you could, hoping he didn’t notice how mortified you were. “I hope you have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too.”

He gives you one last parting smile and you watch as he heads out the door, hating how disappointed and embarrassed you feel after it clicks shut behind him.

You stand there for a moment before letting out an agonised groan and heading back to the kitchen, trying to forget that conversation ever happened.

The rest of your night is filled with your usual routine - dinner, dishes and then giving Violet a bath before bed - but no matter how hard you try, you can't help but keep dwelling on the exchange, ruminating on what it might have meant.

You were starting to feel foolish for thinking that maybe things were changing between you and Sean. That’s what led you to ask him to stay for dinner to begin with, thinking you were both at a place where that could happen without any tension or awkwardness. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he wouldn’t have stayed even if he didn’t have business to attend to. 

You shake your head, trying to stop yourself from going further down that rabbit hole. You were going to drive yourself crazy if you kept thinking about it. The fact of the matter was that you had no idea how Sean felt about you but he was here nonetheless because he cared about Violet. You just had to live with that and forget your feelings.

Easier said than done, you think sourly. When the mere sight of him makes my goddamn heart race.

"Mummy?" Violet asks while you shampoo her hair, bringing you out of your spiral of thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You and Sean should get married."

You nearly choke on the air you breathe. Pausing your actions, you look at her in bewilderment but her eyes are on her hands as she glides them through the soapy water.

“Why do you say that, Vi?” You pry gently.

You wonder if you’d been that obvious with your feelings or if maybe Sean had said something, but she just shrugs like it was simply a passing thought she decided to say out loud.

“Sean and I are friends, darling,” You say to her, though you were starting to wonder if maybe that label was a stretch. “Usually people who get married are dating each other."

Violet makes a contemplative face, “Will you and Sean do that?”

“What, date?”

She nods, leaving you more confused than ever.

“I doubt it, Vi,” You sigh.

I burned that bridge a long time ago.

You massage her scalp gently, lathering up the shampoo as you watch her continue to play with the water, your own mind racing.

“Did you want us to date?” You ask her, still trying to figure out where this was coming from.

She nods again.

“Why?”

Violet looks sheepish now, patting away at the bubbles that surrounded her, and she says shyly, “So then I can have a dad.”

~

You sit against your headboard with your head in your hands, thinking about everything that had transpired since the late afternoon. Not only were you dealing with your reemerging feelings for Sean - who most likely did not reciprocate them - you were also dealing with a daughter who suggested you marry the man because that was the only way she thought she could get a dad.

Letting out a frustrated groan, you press your head against your forearms. You were acutely aware that you would not be dealing with any of this if you’d never left Sean in the first place. You sit there despairingly for a long while before a persistent buzz from your phone starts to fill the air. Lifting your head, you blink in surprise at the caller ID before answering it.

“Sean?”

“Hi,” His voice comes through the speaker, making your heart involuntarily skip a beat. “Sorry, I know it’s late.”

“It’s fine,” You assure him, shifting the phone to a more comfortable position. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, I just… I wanted to apologise again for not being able to stay for dinner. I should have taken you up on it, the meeting I went to instead was the dullest shit imaginable.”

You can’t help the small laugh that bubbles out of your throat at the grouchy tone his voice takes on as he tells you about how dull it was, “Sorry to hear that.”

He hums in response and you could just imagine the amused smirk on his face. “You don’t sound very sorry.”

“Well, I don’t know,” You reply. “Violet spent all of dinner telling me about every animal you saw at the pond today. Not sure if you would prefer a play-by-play of your own day over the meeting.”

“You underestimate how boring the meeting was.”

“No,” You laugh. “I’ll take your word for it.”

There’s a natural lull in the conversation and you know you have to take the opportunity to clear the air, for the sake of your own sanity.

“Sean,” You start, steeling yourself with an inhale. “I hope I didn’t overstep earlier, asking you to stay for dinner.”

“Overstep?”

“I… I worried you might’ve thought it was a bit much. The three of us have never properly spent time all together so I realise that it might have been a big ask and-”

“It was fine, y/n,” He says softly, quelling your worries. “I was surprised you asked but it wasn’t a problem. I would’ve liked it, the three of us together.”

After all that time you’d spent ruminating earlier, the statement is more than you ever expected from him. So much so that you’re rendered speechless, your heart in your throat.

“That’s why I called, actually,” He continues. “I wanted to ask if you and Vi wanted to come over for dinner next weekend. To make up for the fact that I couldn’t tonight.”

You don’t even have to think twice about your answer.

“Yes, of course. We’d love to.”

“Great,” He says and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll see you both then.”

You can’t help but smile in return, “Looking forward to it.”

“Me too. Goodnight y/n.”

“Night, Sean.”

You’re giddy as you place your phone on your bedside table and settle into bed for the night, Sean’s call single-handedly flipping your entire mood. Maybe it was silly to feel that way after just one phone call but you couldn’t help it, not when it came to Sean. Against all your better judgement, you feel a little spark of hope in your chest as you drift off to sleep.

Maybe there was something there after all.