#I had to write whole sentences to get the right refs

[katballesteros]

Sachi

Commissioned by @inusmasha for @mustardyellowsunshine

Enjoy, Robin! :)

[imaginespazzi]

Not sure if this counts as chaotic family, but I can’t get enough of your writing! I’ve read the ucla story and embarrassing number of times lol.

Can you please write Azzis first day back at practice and Paige is just so excited for her and they’re being cute all morning and then during practice they’re both so happy and then someone fouls azzi hard and she goes to the floor and Paige like kinda yells at them and then azzi tells her to calm down and she’s fine and Paige then apologizes while they’re all eating after practice and the team kinda teases her for getting all defensive about her wife.

Thank you my love and hopefully this lives a little bit up to what you wanted (even if it's unedited and it's been a little bit since you asked for it):

"Happy first day to you, happy first day to you, happy first day dear Azzi, happyfirstdayofbeingclearedforbasketballactivities to you," Paige sing-songs, the last sentence being mushed together so she can make it fit to the tune of "happy birthday, as she wraps her arms around Azzi from behind.

"My poor ears," KK whines dramatically and if Paige wasn't in such an absolutely fantastic mood, she'd give her youngest child the middle finger, but right now, she's too by smiling into her girlfriend's neck.

Azzi giggles, leaning back into Paige and letting herself be wrapped in the blonde's arms, "you're such a sap."

"Your sap," Paige coos before taking her delegated seat on the chair next to Azzi, left hand immediately seeking out a way to intertwine with the younger girl's right one, "you excited to play today babe?"

"So excited," Azzi whispers, wistfulness echoing in her voice. For the most part, the shooting guard excels at hiding her emotions and throughout her injury, she'd done a pretty solid job of keeping them in check. But that doesn't mean she hasn't felt the sting of being away from the sport she loves, every single day. And no one knows that feeling more than Paige as she presses a soft kiss against the younger girl's temple.

"Gonna show us all up at practice today huh Az?" Ice teases and Azzi just shrugs noncommittally with a slight smirk.

But Paige, forever the president of the Azzi Fudd fanclub, is quick to reply for her, "you bet your ass she is."

The rest of the team cheers and it's heartwarming really, how excited everyone is to have Azzi playing again. There's a buzz around the team as they walk into the practice center, the buzz of all their missing pieces starting to fit together. It had begun with Jana, and then Ayanna and now Azzi. With every return, the march towards UConn's 12th national championship, seems clearer and clearer.

It's the first time in a long time, that they have enough bodies available for them to play 5x5 with just the team alone. Much to Paige's chagrin, coach doesn't allow her and Azzi to be on the same team despite her incessant whining ("we haven't played together in ages Coach" "you'll play together all season" "azzi tell him he's being unreasonable" "whatever you say coach" "TRAITOR") but she's not all that upset about it. After all, Paige is nothing if not a competitor and beating Azzi has always been one of her favorite things.

Team adrenaline is on full display, everyone's eagerness to beat each other, but most importantly get better together, on full display as with every minute passing, the game seems to get more and more aggressive. There are no refs and Coach lets them play through the contact, knowing most of them will need to play like that during the season considering how fucking shit terrible the NCAA refs could be.

Call her a psychic but Paige sees it happening before it actually does. Azzi has been great throughout, faltering only once or twice, but that was to be expected her first practice back. It happens in a split secondas she's setting herself for a step-back pull-up, Morgan putting her whole soul into defending her. Something happens in between Azzi shooting the ball and it going in the net and the next thing Paige registers is her girlfriend, her only just recently cleared for basketball activities girlfriend, falling to the floor with a loud thud.

Paige is absolutely still for a second, her vision blurring in red and then-

"WHAT THE HELL MORGAN," Paige's voice echoes around all of Werth, as she marches to where the freshman is helping Azzi up.

She's aware of everyone's eyes on her now, can practically feel the death stare Coach is giving her for letting her emotions get the best of her but Paige doesn't give a damn. All she knows is that this is Azzi's first practice and no one should be being that aggressive with her.

"It was an accident," Morgan recoils, clearly unsure of what do to when her superstar teammate looks like she might murder her.

"DOESN'T MATTER. YOU DON'T FOUL SOMEONE LIKE THAT," Paige yells and even she's aware she's being just a tad bit unreasonable, "SHE LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK. WHAT IS WRONG YOU?"

"Hey hey hey," Azzi pushes a hand against Paige's chest, lightly shoving her back and it's instantaneous the way every part of her seems to calm down at that little touch, "I'm fine."

"That's not the point." Paige spits out through gritted teeth, still glowering at Morgan. Through the periphery of her vision she can make out KK, Ice and Jana snickering and makes a mental note to yell at them because this is NOT an amusing situation thank you very much.

"There is no point," Azzi says firmly, fingers rubbing a soothing pattern down Paige's arms, "it's basketball. Shit like this happens. You need to calm the hell down."

Before Paige, who's slowly beginning to relax into her girlfriend's touch, can say anything, a sharp whistle blows behind them. Knowing exactly who blew it, Paige whispers a prayer to herself before turning to look at furious Geno Auriemma.

"Good job, you just got yourself a technical," he seethes, one hand immediately going up in anticipation of Paige's protest, "do that in an actual game and I will eject you myself.

As Paige nods meekly, the muffled giggles behind her only get louder and when she looks to the side, her own girlfriend, the traitor, is trying to hide a smile.

"It really do be your own people," Paige scoffs and much to her displeasure, the laughs only get louder.

***

"Azzi says I have to apologize to you," Paige grumbles to Morgan as she and Azzi walk into the dining hall after practice, hands swinging together.

Morgan, the good-natured girl she is, just smiles and nods, "nah you're all good. I get it."

"See," Paige says pointedly to her girlfriend who immediately rolls her eyes, "Morgan gets it. You'd do the same too right Morgs?"

"Oh no," Morgan smirks, "I would never. I just know that you're kinda insane when it comes to Azzi."

Paige splutters as Azzi giggles into her shoulder, "I am not insane."

"You're the definition of insane," Jana says.

"And the definition of whipped," Ice chirps in, high-fiving her fellow forward.

"I am not," Paige whines, turning to Azzi "baby tell them I'm not."

"Well I can't lie Paige," Azzi says slowly and Paige lets out an offended squeal.

"You're my girl and you won't even defend me? Can't trust nobody these days."

As Paige pouts, KK waltzes into the dining hall. There's a smirk on her while she walks to the team table and exaggeratedly elbows Azzi on her way there.

"Oh no Azzi, I'm so sorry, I just bumped your arm, Please don't hurt me Paige," KK cowers into Ice, dramatically shielding her body, and the whole team, traitors the lot of them, burst into laughter.

"You're not funny," Paige seethes, crossing her arms, "I hate all of you."

It only makes the rest of the team laugh harder and it isn't until Azzi wraps Paige into her arms, that Paige's annoyed expression softens.

"Hey," the younger girl whispers, and just like that even in the cacophony, they're in their own world, "you are a little insane-"

"Azzi-"

"But I like that you're a little insane," Azzi whispers, before booping Paige's nose and giving her a soft kiss, eliciting a shy smile from the older girl.

And really, if Azzi likes her being insane, Paige is prepared to be insane for a lifetime.

[xx-disco-inferno-xx]

thats right yall its time for another shadow-centric sonic au

its also a long one so ill put the lore underneath the cut (my writing isnt the greatest right now bcuz im tired and ive been writing for almost 12 hours straight lmao i can no longer create proper sentences)

debating calling it Sonic 4D Blast because hey reference

Everything is pretty much the same (wow how original, right) but on the ARK, when Black Doom gave Gerald his DNA, Gerald accidentally created a 4th dimensional entity. No one knows how or what to do about it. Gerald just did his stuff with Black Doom's DNA, turned around, and there was Shadow (named by Maria for his lack of a shadow). Shadow was able to successfully cure Maria, and when Gerald's reports indicated so, GUN became suspicious of the almost miraculous turnaround and started investigating.

Once they found out about Project Shadow and what Gerald had somehow done, they regarded Shadow as a top priority threat and began developing experimental technology to counter Gerald's "weapon" in secret.

It took a few years of observation to make sure Maria really was cured, and during that time, she and Shadow became extremely close. Most of the scientists on the ARK either feared him or were cautious around him, though, not quite sure if he could be fully trusted due to all the uncertainty around how he worked.

Eventually, GUN decided to launch a raid on the ARK. Everyone onboard was given sufficient warning that the shuttle was approaching thanks to Shadow, but no one knew why. Once onboard, they immediately began interrogating the scientists and searching for Project Shadow. A soldier shot at Maria in an attempt to get them to cooperate, but Shadow revealed himself and stopped the bullet from hitting her. (im tired pretend theres a conflict escalation here) One thing led to another, and Shadow ended up getting a gold ring forced into his wrist - the experimental technology GUN had been developing the whole time.

It was a set of four golden rings meant to confine Shadow to the 3rd dimension, and while one didn't do it immediately, it slowed him down enough for the soldiers to get the others on him, trapping him in a 3d form and shooting Maria anyway to punish him for acting out.

yap yap yap the rest of the scientists are massacred and Gerald is arrested as per canon event. Shadow is also taken into GUN custody and tortured in a variety of ways, under the guise of scientific research (green line down torso on ref is a scar from vivisection), all while being in indescribable pain from being confined to the 3rd dimension. For 50 years, this is an on and off thing, and he is kept top secret, only known about by some of the highest clearance agents.

Eggman, looking through GUN's databases for anything that could be of use to him, finds one of Gerald's old reports that slipped through the cracks, and begins the search for Project Shadow. The events of SA2 happen, and after Heroes, Shadow is able to break free from the confinement of the Inhibitors, finally freeing himself from the 3rd dimension.

i think theres more id usually add at this point but my brain has literally clocked out so ill just add more like tomorrow or whenever. but basically now shadow just kinda chills like that one homie you see every once in a while

[ginevralinton]

Thank you for the tag @ailendolin ♥♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 67

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

197,359

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Ghosts, mostly, at the moment, but I also do some classic lit fics every now and then

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A second (minor) heart attack

Cast Back (embarrassingly)

House Share

A piece of the universe

Not quite like the books

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do. I feel like my replies aren’t all that thrilling, but I always try to say thank you!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have a (possibly) bad habit of needing to end with at least a glimmer of hope, however, I think ‘where the evening splits in half’ is angsty (I mean, it refs a canonical character death and one that always makes me sad) and ‘a workshop of filthy creation’ (for lack of resolution/continued pain)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe the whole ‘Not to get mushy but…’ series. ‘Those That Love Us’ and ‘House Share'. I think contentment, connection, found family and love are the vibes the endings give, so maybe that’s what counts as a happy ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I can recall

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tried, once. I think it’s really bad, so I won’t be doing anymore for now.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, unless we’re counting ‘Uninvited Guests’ or ‘a workshop of filthy creation’ which could be considered crossovers with my original works, as they feature my OCs. I did, however, once write a modern AU crossover of Frankenstein, Wuthering Heights and The Italian in my first year of uni, but that shall remain buried somewhere in my laptop.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don’t believe so!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I’m not sure – I either find I like one thing or several equally so… Still, as I’m answering this as a writer, my favourite to write has been Julian/Robin or Lucy/Ginevra

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’m not sure I’ll ever finish the next parts of my Ginevra/Lucy fic (a continuation of ‘Don’t let them get you down, you’re the best thing I’ve seen’) – I tend to just add to it every now and then, when I feel inspired.

I have also started gathering ideas for a sequel to ‘workshop of filthy creation’ and I have a few lines noted, but right now, I’m not feeling inspired to write it. Never say never though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Perhaps writing narrative voices that fit and align with the character they’re trying to capture, and from whose perspective the story is told from? By which I mean making conscious word choices, thinking about thought patterns, using appropriate metaphors and tones for that character?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I definitely struggle with plot – and while I’m not really one for grand, action packed narratives, I do sometimes feel that instead of taking the straightforward path from A to B when I’m writing, I tend to meander, get distracted by other details, get tangled up in reflections and reminiscing, so everything I write is slow. I also struggle a lot with endings – a desire to tie things up probably too neatly, or an inability to actually just reach the ending? That, and I can often be a slow, slow, slow writer, so I might start a piece and take weeks to actually complete it, which can lead to tone shifts, I think.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn’t personally feel comfortable doing it, because my GCSE German is awful, I’ve never learnt another language, and I’m not sure I trust translators for full sentences. In terms of the practise in general, it is fits in with the canon, and ‘makes sense’ for the character – sure, I don’t mind. I mean, I’ve read Charlotte Bronte’s Villette after all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was for a British comic I believe, back when I was 12/13…I did re-upload it from ff.net to A03, so if you really want to read it, you can, but don't expect much.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

My personal favourite is probably ‘Don’t let them get you down, you’re the best thing I’ve seen’, because it took a lot of work, combined some of my favourite things and allowed me to use what I researched and wrote on for my MA dissertation in a creative way?

My other favourites are:

‘Those that Love Us’ - this was fun to write, and I enjoyed the challenge of capturing the vibe and language of the book, while also making it my own.

‘A Second (Minor) Heart Attack’ - a very early Ghosts fic, but it made me smile

‘House Share’ - possibly because it was such a project and I completed it

I'll tag @someoneplsloverobbierotten @sonnet-of-anarchy @its-a-hare-pom-pom @natequarter @thelastplantagenet and @athelstan-anglecyning, if you wish :)

[eliemo]

You know this would be such a soft gay disaster too

Wade is a professional figure skater

He's the real deal, he's been doing this his whole life and he's won competitions, but he's had to slow down recently after some recklessness on the ice left him with some injuries

He's getting older and his body doesn't bounce back as quickly as it used to

A few people have pushed him to retire, but he's not ready to give it up because he's young and spry and hip and he still has it

He does end up mentoring two young ice skaters to keep himself busy

Yes, it's Yukio and NTW, yes they're adorable, yes they adore their weird fucked up mentor but NTW would rather face plant into the ice in front of everyone than admit that

Occasionally they have to share the ice with the local hockey team

Wade avoids them like the plague because if he wanted a bunch of big burly men slamming him around he'd find that on his own time

He does in fact need his body functioning if he's going to continue skating

One day Wade and his mini skaters show up to their regularly scheduled practice time at the same time as the hockey team

Wade knows he booked his practice time properly, and he's not about to miss out on his time on the ice or get trampled by hockey players in the least fun way possible

The team captain, Scott, is more or less civil about trying to work it out

Logan isn't

Wade is faced with the audacity of the world's angriest hockey player who looks like he should be cage fighting and riding motorcycles in an early 2000s action movie

Wade tells him that to his face, actually. Logan doesn't appreciate it

They argue for 15 minutes straight. Nobody really knows what to do about it. They're all pretty sure it would be a death sentence to try and intervene

They're making really intense eye contact

NTW thinks it's hilarious

Wade insists that they booked the ice for today and that the hockey team can skidaddle their happy asses to the nearest rage room

Logan insists that they booked the ice for today and they don't have time to argue with figure skaters when they have a game next week

Turns out they're both wrong.

The stadium accidentally double-booked

Neither of them are willing to concede but they don't want to share either

Cue the most awkward tense practice anyone has ever experienced

Both Wade and Logan are too busy glaring at each other from opposite ends of the ice to actually focus on practice

Nobody is amused

Except NTW

Logan is a little extra angry on the ice and Wade is absolutely showing off and getting in their way on purpose

Bodily harm and safety precautions be dammed he will make a point and be an inconvenience

Practice ends early for everyone

At some point, the hockey team is in need of a stand-in referee after Logan someone accidentally tackled their old ref

It was an accident, ok?

Wade, obviously, volunteers

Everybody advises against this decision

Wade just wants to fuck with people. He's a smug bastard

And he'll be fine it's not like his luck is so bad that he's going to get tackled into the ice

His luck is that bad. Guess what happens 20 minutes into the game

It really was an accident on Logan's part. He was trying to tackle someone else and Wade was in the way

Wade is fine. Ouch, what the fuck, but fine

He does swing on Logan immediately though. It's instinct. His bad.

Logan ends up being the one with a concussion and a bloody nose. Wade's back just hurts

He helps them escort Logan off the ice to sit out the rest of the game and, because he's a jackass and big bloody men are a little bit his type, asks for his autograph

"Please please please peanut right here on my shirt, nobody will ever believe me. If you get your blood on me I might faint, seriously, I'm a huge fan"

He's joking.

Logan, who can't walk on his own or see straight, writes his number on Wade's shirt

And then passes out

y’all aren’t ready to hear about a hockey player logan x figure skater wade au

[celestialmarks]

“I’m not the bad one here”: Muu Analysis and Interpretation

here is my personal muu analysis and interpretation. i'm really wondering: does muu really believe herself to be justified? is this a front she's presenting because her apologies remained unheard to the bitter end? is she really vindictive and somewhat indifferent deep down, or is she really pretending to protect herself? somewhat a bit of both? this is what i'll be trying to answer. i'm going to be using : - her official character intro in the character intros MV - her intro voice lines (from the official website) - her interview questions - her drama CD content basically every piece of muu extra content we've got, aside from minimal interactions from the app. AS WELL AS - her MV, After Pain, which i'm going to be deciphering based on the color coding! i don't think anyone has done this in full yet (if anyone did, i apologize)

(general TW for discussions & depiction of severe bullying)

as a general disclaimer,

i'm not going to reiterate points that have already been made. if you've looked at youtube comments of previously made analysis, it should be enough to determine what's going on. i'm interested in exploring why muu may feel justified in her actions and what the "darker" side of her is, is all.

there have been no hints as to the fact that she was a bully in the past or something. it could still come out that she was, or that her behavior was awful in whatever way (which i really wouldn't like bcse it reinforces the notion that bullied people "have to had deserved it" which is gross) and it still WOULD NOT change my opinion of her bcse she's still been through all that and pushed to the limit. at the end of the day, there's no way she lied about or downplayed this. she WAS horribly bullied and she almost died from it.

muu has her flaws, clearly. i'm just pointing out what they are here, her mentality and how it might allude to her being shown in a less sympathetic light next round, but that's it.

first, where does the "muu feeling justified" even come from?

to begin with, it's been stated in her intro "she can have a attitude at some times." it's also confirmed by the insults on the blackboard, transcribed in eng and edited onto the MV's visuals here (TW suicide baiting, self-harm baiting).

"So arrogant" as well as "are you looking down on us?" are written on the first blackboard, "eww poor people" on the second.

in her drama CD, muu also appears to be :

overly blunt at times 

spoiled. used to being treated well, since she's rich

quite manipulative, even if she's straightforward about it

i suggest u read the whole thing to get a sense of what she's like, if you haven't yet!

once again and at the risk of repeating myself... she still doesn't deserve any of what happened even if she was condescending or flaunted her wealth. which i don't even think might be the case (it's not like the bullies are objective, they're just using it as a way to justify their treatment of her. and in the MV she says herself "There's no special meaning / I just got the short end of the stick"). she's kind of naive about her wealth (see the crepe incident dfdghjd) she doesn't appear to do it to annoy others or look down on them. she's just used to a life of comfort.

moreover, it's been implied she may have been taken advantage of initially because of her wealth (see the chat on her phone and the picture of her with the three other girls, which i'll call Girl A, Girl B and Girl C for convenience's sake and also bcse the ref to dr is funny). probably her bluntness and occasional attitude caused her more problems, but i'll come back to what triggered the bullying later.

regarding her manipulative behavior, it's because she's used to getting her way (crepe incident, her telling Es she'll just make him like her : "All I have to do is gain your favour, right?"). "my sorry spells must be wearing off" in After Pain alludes to this. since she was previously quite privileged, she had never been treated like this before. even when she made mistakes she was forgiven, so she may have been a bit of an entitled brat, once again. when she starts being bullied, her world REALLY turns upside down. she's so used to getting her way that she even THREATENS Es at the end of the drama CD. we're past manipulative here. no way to know if she has done this in the past though. this might just be due to her desperation, really, but the fact that she does it right after another attempt at sweet talk does make me raise a brow

also the way she turns the tables on Es. "i won't forgive you" when she's supposed to be the one who's forgiven or not? she's rejecting the fault onto Es, just like, ALL the way through her drama CD, she's been saying she wasn't in the wrong. that's her way of justifying herself when/if she causes harm. literally she will not stop saying it : 

"I’m not the bad one here!" "I did kill them. But, they’re to blame! They made it to the point where I had to kill them… I… I had such a tough time." "Sure, I might’ve killed them, but… If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to escape. The cruel things they did to me were far worse!" "If you’re gonna say that I shouldn’t have killed them, then… Are you saying that I should’ve continued suffering forever?" "Even though I’m not the one in the wrong, they want to sentence me to penal servitude… That’s so messed-up." "It wasn’t a bad thing to do, right?" "What should I do then? What should I do in order for you to forgive me, prison guard? I’ll do anything! Um… Anything painful or embarrassing is out of the question though… And, I don’t wanna do anything scary either…"

muu is DESPERATE to be proven innocent. she'll do almost anything, though she's reluctant to put herself in any situation that might be triggering for her (understandable after what she's been through so i wouldn't say she's whining here.) in one of her intro voice lines on the website she says pretty much the same thing:

That’s right. I killed someone. But I couldn’t help it! If I didn’t, there’d be no way to escape. I’m… not the bad one.

in addition, here is what we get from her intro in the character intros MV:

"Fufu... it's your fault for doing horrible things to me." → Lack of remorse ?

from her interview questions:

"The person who did something wrong should apologize first." → Waiting for others to acknowledge their faults first, bcse she doesn't want her apologies to be ignored again... and to just be mistreated again, as a result?

maybe she wants to be declared innocent so that she can finally feel like she's heard, acknowledged. so that she can feel that her pain has reached people, and she might start apologizing outwardly then too, bcse part of her's sorry. but a part of her genuinely believes she had no other choice and as such should be treated as innocent. it's kind of a complex mentality.

what i'm focusing on is that she has this belief she is justified still.

something caught my eyes in relation to that : the "thinks she's the hero" on the second blackboard. muu has a self-righteous side like futa, even if it were (partially?) a front.

also, the quote behind every inmate : "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." muu "saved" herself by killing someone else and now has a future, so she's her own hero? perhaps. perhaps that's what is helping her cope with the crushing guilt, and that's why she's outwardly so insistent on it.

but then again, something doesn't click: why would muu be saved from killing someone? the bullying has just gotten worse. why does she seem so relieved in that situation? is it because people at least don't touch her now, because they're scared of her? she is literally getting suicide baited though... well, i have an idea. but first let's decode After Pain properly.

more substance to her feeling justified: the color coding and hidden messages in After Pain

so, here goes. on the official site, people who got the innocent verdict are shown to have green eyes, while people who got the guilty verdict have red eyes. so from this, we can deduce that innocent = green and guilty = red.

well... muu's MV is coded like that all the way through. we have a theme of greens (cold colors) VS oranges (warm colors). to represent her thoughts in relation to her actions, and others'. they’re complementary colors, so it’s rather clear cut (black and white?) the color that's inbetween is the yellow from the screen with the handwriting writing that keeps coming back as well as... yup... the yellow from the box cutter she used to kill Girl A, her crush (presumably). and the yellow that is muu's character color! so very significant. i'll analyse After Pain sequence by sequence so u can see what i mean in detail. beginning of the MV : she's sitting in the classroom alone. the first thing we see is the green hourglass = i'm innocent! and we see the orange glow of the sunset. the light isn't hitting her directly, as u can see: she's left in the shadows = blameless, the victim here. it's hitting the blackboard with all the insults, however.

together with the lyrics this scene is basically everything about muu screaming "SEE? IT'S THEIR FAULT, LOOK WHAT THEY DID. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." and then of course we have the first instance of the screen with writing in yellow! this one says "ねえなんで" ("say, why?") nothing surprising there so far.

then BOOM the hourglass. very very clearly depicting her pain, her suffocating and being cut from the world. and thus proving her "innocence" bcse she's trapped, in danger of choking, and helpless.

it of course covers her (more of her basically telling you she's innocent). and then it cuts to a pinker, more orange-y scene with the bullies (they're guilty!)

and WAIT A MINUTE? WHAT IS THAT? yep... the box cutter. and what color is it in this scene? orange. it was orange here.

clearly she's saying that the others are much more at fault here. when she wields it, the box cutter is of a lighter color--still a warm color, since it's yellow. but a yellow that's very close to the lime green of her hourglass, isn't it? for now let's say it represents something in between, ambivalent feelings. the writing in yellow comes back and so does the chorus (look at how much i tried to apologize and make them stop). it feels to me like that's muu taking back the mic like HEY, listen up, you saw this right. in conclusion. here it is again: look at how innocent i am! look at how much i've suffered! and thus naturally it cuts to a hourglass scene immediately after.

nonetheless, the writing in yellow says... "でもたぶん" ("but maybe...") which is intriguing.

haven't mentioned this before but obviously muu herself is a mix of warm and cold colors, aka pink (her uniforms highlights, the sleeves and tie + her hair) and green (her eyes, with a highlight of lime/yellow...) then we're back in the classroom and once again the orange light = guilt isn't hitting her directly.

and the colors picked in the LINE chat with the others areee.... naturally, green for her, pink for the others... yellow for the whole background, just as yellow encompasses the entire MV as her true feelings on the matter.

title screen in yellow then flashes yet again, followed AGAIN by the hourglass scene (muu repeating, just like in her drama CD: "yeah, here's my whole story, and i'm innocent!")

the writing in yellow says "ねえもしも" ("hey, tell me...")

the writing in yellow flashes for the FOURTH TIME and this is the most interesting instance: "それなのに" ("even so...")

this shot is doused in orange/warmer yellow on the bullies' side and in the background too. super self-explanatory really

the orange light of guilty is still not hitting muu. meanwhile on her lap...

on the left, the bullies' stockings are blue, but they have a orange hue to them. the rest of the objects here in cold tones are all related to muu or touching her. the picture on her phone is split between yellow and blue. like the blame and innocence was, back then, even/balanced in the sense of peace and quiet, or perhaps just hidden in the background before it jumped out?

she's hit by the orange light here and please look at how the bucket is not blue at all and the floor below her is more yellow. Girl A is the one to open the door, so i think this might show Girl A's POV in relation to muu. not perceiving her innocence.

Girl A's eyes here are green and yellow, so to some extent innocent but guilty in a way that is justified in muu's mind? which is why muu reaches out to her. thus here's my theory on what happened with her : muu confessed, yes. however, the girl didn't out her. especially bcse the blackboard doesn't have any mention of muu liking girls (going by the TL previously shared at least). she just started avoiding muu. given the lyrics here: Girl A used muu's attitude concerning other matters as justification for avoiding her, which kickstarted the bullying. hence "the stabbing of the little devil's voice" which references something Girl A said about her attitude, prompting the rest of their friend group to see muu in a negative light so as to side with her. (since muu's planned counterattack to what Girl A said is a suicide note, it can only be Girl A that's the "devil". the cause.)

also please note how the light is only HALF hitting the background. she's to blame, but not entirely. not yet. besides her eyes are a different shade of green than muu's: darker, far from lime. clearly just green + yellow highlight, without the blatant "innocent" of the lighter lime. entirely ambivalent!

in this shot, the light is deserting muu's eyes. no lime green or yellow here. she just has dead eyes, resembling Girl A's eyes at the end of the video. this is muu telling us that this was her last chance not to become a corpse.

then muu reaches out to the one person she could ask for help. the one person who could have cleared any misunderstanding and possibly stopped this. she's running and everything is soooo yellow and orange. EXCEPT for the bushes which are green, a firm line (literal lines!) that allude to the possibility that Girl A might change her behavior. "perhaps she'll realized she crossed the line/know where the line is and walk off this path."

however, muu steps into the light here. she's been hit by the window's light even if we can't see it, as seen by her shadow. hence, she's already guilty, it's just out of frame (she doesn't realize/know it yet.) still, note that the light hitting her is not orange but ONLY YELLOW. less guilty than the others! but the school? orange. guilty place. guilty people

Girl A is still framed by green stuff. she has a possibility of being innocent, of being forgiven by muu, but the path she's walking is orange, clearly.

we see a tiny hourglass fall off, a timid reminder from muu "i know what you're about to see, just remember i'm not to blame." and then muu reaches Girl A and the background is just SO yellow and orange for the both of them. but notice something? on muu's side the background is more yellow. on Girl A's side it gets darker, more orange.

Girl A doesn't respond for a moment and her eyes are still green and yellow! muu has hope that she might still change for the better and forgive her! see that muu's innocent!

but nope! she rejects muu! and we get this deep orange!!! NOTHING like the yellow in the background earlier! this is the last straw for muu!

contrasting with the green of muu's hourglass breaking as she hits her limit:

yellow, vengeful fire burning next to muu. it's practically shimmering as she stabs Girl A. it's so light it's almost white.

Girl A's eyes have turned orange bcse in that moment in muu's mind SHE is the guilty one. she deserves this.

while in contrast, even if the background behind muu's very orange... her eyes are glowing lime/yellow.

i hit picture limit so this is part 1! (reblogging this to add more. here is the full post with part 2 as well)

[kolachess]

DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated

I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)! 

This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.

Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.

This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)

Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.

Translation Context:

Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.

Text Legend:

Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)

[TN: ...] are my notes

[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations

== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer

Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?

Names Context:

They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS

The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.

Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.

Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen

Nangongling is the name of the interviewer

Interviewer:

Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.

NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.

Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?

NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.

Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==

NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.

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Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==

NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]

Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=

NPSS: No relationship.

Interviewer: … No relationship?

NPSS: Yup. No relationship.

Interviewer: … ==

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?

NPSS: 2010.

NPSS: The problem is…

Interviewer: What?

NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.

Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==

NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.

Interviewer: Hey!

NPSS: It’s great.

Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]

NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]

NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.

Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.

NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding  [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].

Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]

Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.

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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?

NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]

Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]

NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]

Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?

NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]

Interviewer: … ==

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…

NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.

Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…

NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]

NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?

NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]

Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==

NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]

NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.

Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)

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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)

NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.

Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.

NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.

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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==

NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]

Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?

NPSS: Probably.

Interviewer: In America?

NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.

Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!

NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.

Interviewer: No! No! No!

NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.

Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]

NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]

Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will there be romance?

NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.

Interviewer: … who and who?

NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.

Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.

NPSS: Tentacles.

Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]

NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?

Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).

NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.

Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.

NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.

Interviewer: He’s already very calm.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.

NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Huh? What?

NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Disturb what?

NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]

Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]

NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.

Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]

NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]

Interviewer: Hey… ==

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?

NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.

Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]

NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.

Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]

NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]

Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]

NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?

Interviewer: Haha, fun right?

NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.

Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds) 

Interviewer: Enough. Next.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]

NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]

Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?

NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.

Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)

NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.

Interviewer: Really is younger? ==

NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.

Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.

NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.

Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?

NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL]  performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.

Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]

NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]

Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…

NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]

Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.

Interviewer: And then?

NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.

Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?

NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.

Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)

NPSS: I also want to get a cult.

Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.

NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.

Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.

NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.

Interviewer: How?

NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]

Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]

NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.

Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.

NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.

Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?

NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.

Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.

NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?

Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?

NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.

Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.

NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship.  Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.

Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…

NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.

Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]

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Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.

NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]

Interviewer: Ershu?

NPSS: He knows some.

Interviewer: Then what about his dad.

NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.

Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.

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Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]

NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.

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Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?

Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]

NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.

Interviewer: …How bad…

NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]

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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?

NPSS: Dies of old age.

Interviewer: How mundane!

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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?

NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.

Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)

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Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?

Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].

NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].

Interviewer:  …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?

NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.

Interviewer: Ahaha….

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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]

NPSS: Don’t know.

Interviewer: As expected…

NPSS: It’s your husband?

Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)

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Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?

NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.

Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?

NPSS: Also likes her.

Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)

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Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]

NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.

Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.

NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]

NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.

Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?

NPSS: Yup.

Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=

NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.

Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?

NPSS: Yup. Counting her.

Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]

NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]

Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?

NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]

NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.

Interviewer: What? Son? ==

NPSS: A very promising son.

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?

NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.

Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]

NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.

Interviewer: Does it taste good?

NPSS: Often get stomachaches.

Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)

NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70. 

NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]

Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?

NPSS: 60.

Interviewer: …. (speechless)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.

Interviewer: I think so too.

NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.

Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==

Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?

NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…

Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?

NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.

Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?

NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]

Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]

NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.

Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]

(And the two are dozing off)

NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.

Interviewer: Ok…

(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)

~ End Interview

Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.

[chriscdcase95]

How not to debate Ships and Shipping

I am writing this from personal experience, and from noticing bad cases of Ship Policing going on in the Hazbin Hotel and Star Wars fandom as of late. I figured a bunch of kids got too much computer time from their parents and are in need of education, because this is a more extreme throwback to the shipping wars that occurred in the Twilight and iCarly fanbase from way back when. 

Since 2010, I have found myself a little immersed into the practice of shipping. At the start of this decade, I was Team Edward/Team Jacob levels of ship crazy, and here I am now with a new perspective on things. 

I've even devolved into multi shipping, but I apply that when it comes to compartmentalizing fanfiction and canon. I have my share of OTP's and NOTP's (although Jemma of Every Witch Way is personally my top NOTP for multiple reasons).

Anyways, welcome to my TedTalk where I will educate you ten to fifteen year old's about how not to debate ships. Take it from an old geezer with ten years of experience, I was there in the middle of ship wars at the start of the decade.

I said in previous posts that ships are a funny thing. They should be small in the grand scheme of things, and fans put them on this great and grand pedestals. Some to the extent where people become downright psychotic bullies about the ships they like or don't like, going as far as to police ships to other fans, and sometimes creators. I think we can agree Ship Policing should be seen as toxic behaviour, right ? Well, no. I'll admit that is a complex issue, even for a multi shipper like me. I brought this up in two Facebook groups I'm in, and the basic consensus is that Ship Policing is toxic behaviour -  except when they romanticize domestic violence, rape, pedophilia, etc.

But what is Ship Policing ?  Simply put, telling people who they are or are not allowed to ship; bullying and shaming others over their ships; and in the biggest extreme, sending death threats and rape threats to other fans over these pairings. The Jemma fans of Every Witch Way for example, are probably the biggest example of Ship Policing, seeing as they literally got the showrunners to rewrite the show to fit their ships fanfiction AU image. But that's neither here nor there, but the point is, AU's are best left to fanfiction or It's A Wonderful Life plots.

Similarly, the Hazbin Hotel fandom had this (hopefully/mercifully one) really bad apple coming the Chalastor fandom, who went on homophobic speeches and demanding that the showrunners make Chalastor canon over Chaggie because and RadioDust- in their own words - "Gays are gross" and went as far as to send death threats to the creators. Because that will certainly make your ship canon, and not make you and yours look like the Jemma fandom.

A less malicious and more hilariously petty example comes from The Loud House fandom, where Luanny fans tend to get butthurt over fans, fics and art of the Luaggie ship, despite the Luanny already being canon and Luaggie only ever existing in fanworks. It was such a one sided non-issue, that it was the Spec Ops the Line of ship wars.

Also within the Loud House fandom there is an artist who made OC's based off of his ships AU. I'm not into the ship or AU, but I saw him getting death threats not just to himself, but his OC's as well. I may not be fully aware of the situation (like I just said, I don't follow the ship or AU), but even I can call this a toxic and illogical way of thinking.

To make a primary and personal example for this lecture, I am going to bring up the most outlandish ship discussion I was part of the past year. Some time ago, I ended up in a debate regarding Kim Possible ships in a Facebook group I posted on. In it I said I wasn't into non canon but popular ship called Kigo. When I re-watched the series, the Drakgo and Kim x Ron (the latter of which I just realized didn't have a ship name) just kind of grew on, and I felt that there were some problems with Kigo as a romantic relationship.

Now I want to make sure to point out that if you like Kigo, that is 100% okay, it is just in my opinion that it would be problematic. It's my personal opinion that if you apply their canon characterization, you'll run into the same problems Anti Reylos have with Rey and Ben. Anyways, when I said my peace, most of the Kigo's didn't make a big deal about it; they took it in stride; calmly disagreed with me and stated their stance. This is what a proper ship discussion should be. It would have been one of the most stable, non toxic discussions I was a part of. Nothing memorable was supposed to happen.

Then she came along.

Since she isn't internet famous on this site or others as far as I know, I am not going to use real names because I don't want this person to be doxxed, stalked or cyberbullied, but I will us LP as a substitute. She will be our example of what a toxic anti will look like, and our example of how not to debate or discuss a ship. Simply put, if she had the fame, she would be the TrueLoveHeart94 of the Kigo fandom (look up Dumbsville's videos on him YouTube, and you'll get a good idea of what I'm talking about).

One of the first things to use is a simple explanation for your stance. When I was explaining my stance, I explained how I came to my conclusions simply by watching the show, putting some thought into it, and making my own opinion based on what I observed. Like I said these were my opinions, observations, and at no point do I claim it to be some objective fact. At no point to attack Kigo's, at no point did I call them toxic. The most I did was explain why I find it problematic. Like I said, if you like Kigo that is 100% fine and dandy, you'll get not hate or bullying from me.

LP on the other hand, well she just couldn't accept that someone didn't like Kigo. How dare I prefer two canonically heterosexual characters in a canon het ship. How dare I commit the crime of having an unpopular, differing opinion. Even worse how dare I try to explain my reasoning. 

It was one of those fan discussions. Now when I thought this was going to be a civil discussion, I asked her just why I was wrong not to ship Kigo. Why is Kim x Ron or Drakgo so toxic ? She didn't really give me a real answer; the closest she got to a coherent response was a borderline Darwinist rant about how "strong women shouldn't date weakling men".

That was what should have made me think "is this discussion worth having ?" (For the record, some of my favourite ship dynamics is with a tough or strong woman with a meek, even nerdish man so the whole "the strong shouldn't be paired up with weaklings" is a non argument to me).

Pretty soon she began breaking the following steps one should take in a debate

. Don't use double standards or Non Sequiturs - First thing you should be aware of in any debate is to actually listen too and answer you're opponents points. The talking points of dodging questions, or ignoring answers - a well as using those same answer to support your points - is an inherently dishonest tactic. If you have a point or counterpoint, it'll do you good not to use dishonest tactics to try to "win" your debates.

One of the things I had issues with regarding Kigo was one of the same points (if not the main) LP raised for the ship. As I said above one of my problems was some of the same talking points Anti-Reylo's raise. I pointed out how Kim and Shego have tried to kill each other a few times in the series, something LP both acknowledges and ignores in the exact same sentence. LP's own talking points for their relationship was their romantic/sexual chemistry could be seen in their fight scenes. This is an example of a Double Standard.

When I pointed out the abusive implications of this thought process, rather than directly answer this, LP went on to equate my point as accusing professional wrestlers of being abusive to their wives. This is an example of a Non Sequitur. She doesn't answer or address my points, and my points don't count unless they support her argument.

Double standards and Non Sequiturs in general should be avoided in any kind of debate. If a talking point is raised against you, it has to be addressed. Not doing so is a less dignified admission that you don't really have an answer.

Another example of this can be seen in the Team Edward vs Team Jacob noise; a Team Jacob fan could say that Edward was a stalker towards Bella, ignoring and dodging a counter argument of Jacob's "Nice Guy" attitude towards Bella and how he forcibly kissed her (also there's Charlie's non reaction to this, but that's beside the point). The same goes vice versa; both are problematic.

Use canon evidence to make your point - Admittedly this one can only really apply if you are making a case for a non canon ship, or pointing out problems with a canon one.

Now the reason LP was so impassioned about her arguments was her insistence that Kigo had to be canon. As she said, it wasn't enough that it was popular enough as a fanfic ship; it wasn't enough that I had to ship it; but she was trying to make the case that Kigo had to be the canon ship of the show, and she was trying to make the case for it.

TrueLoveHeart94 thought process aside, if  you want to make a canon case for your ship, it'll do you good in ship debates is use canon evidence. What I am saying is there are some ships that work in canon, others in fanfiction. If you were to make a point to prove your ship would work in canon, use canon examples.

For example, I mentioned above someone in the Hazbin Hotel fandom tried to make the canon case for Chalastor....by citing their personal homophobia and making death threats towards Ashley and Vivziepop.

In the debate, I used the show to explain why I wasn't into Kigo (as well as my above mentioned reasons) and I mentioned how I didn't see much in canon to see a romantic relationship. Now I want to be clear, I saw Kigo as a fanfic based ship and I am aware that Drakken and Shego seemingly reform at the end of the series, but with canon at best I see Kim and Shego as having a sisterly relationship. I also want to be clear I am not a canon purist. There are many non canon couples I like, I am a multi-shipper after all and I can compartmentalize fanfic couples with my canon OTP's. And I am a supporter of AU's. Hell, there's even Hero x Villain ships I am into...it's just Kigo isn't one of them. I am not an anti; I don't hate the Kigo relationship or it's fan; I just wasn't into it and the canon ships just grew on me when I revisited the series.

When I asked for canon examples that Kigo could work as a romantic pairing, LP's response was to cite fanfiction and fan art as proof.

Let me repeat; I asked for canon examples to prove her point, and why my stance was wrong....and she used fanworks.

I don't think I need to explain the problem here.

To my knowledge, not even TrueLoveHeart94 uses fanfiction/art to make a canon case for Sonamy. This is the kind of straw grasping I can see Chris Weston Chandler making. I don't even know what else to say about this. I still get slacked thinking about it.

Anyway, when I said the fanfiction isn't considered canon, LP responded thusly...

Avoid Ad Hominems and slander

Okay, this one should be a no brainer; when you are in a debate of any kind, there is one thing you can do that means you immediately loose your debate. Your points no longer become valid, you surrender any argument you may have, and you prove that you are not worth debating.

Ad Hominems, personal insults, death/rape threats, racist/homophobic ranting, slander, etc.

Let's just say the nicer things LP said was calling me retarded. I am not sure if that was a coincidence since I mentioned that I was autistic earlier in the discussion.

Keep in mind, all I did throughout the discussion was answer LP's questions, and explain my stance. I even said that it was just my opinion and at no point did I claim it to be objective fact.  At no point did I accuse LP of being racist; a nazi; biphobe; rape/abuse apologist; self-misogynist or misandrist; I never called her abelist (despite some of what she said above).

As for what she said to me ? Like I said, being called a retard was one of the more tame things she said of me. She kept sending me notifications that included angry, barely coherent rants, TrIgGeReD tExT, the whole nine yards.

See, this isn't how you win debates, this is how you rage quit these debates. To give you an idea of the way she was saying, I refer you to Dumbsville's videos on TrueLoveHeart94; the resemblance between LP and TrueLoveHearts comments are rather uncanny. Now for context, the discussion started approx. 6:00 to 7:00 PM...these notifications have been ongoing well into 1:30 AM.

And all this because I said I wasn't into a ship she liked.

That is when I put a stop to the discussion. I blocked LP and deleted the discussion just to be safe.

Conclusion

So as we start the new decade, I look back at how much I've seen making mountains out of molehills (shipping wars). I have seen, heard, even been part of these ship wars and discussions since  2010. My disastrous "debate" with LP is a recent example.

I do believe there is nothing wrong with discussing ships, but it has ben ten years and ship wars are just as bad as they were when Twilight hit the scene. I have heard stories of people getting threats of rape, doxing, threats to people families; people pushing others to self harm for liking "the wrong ship".

I wrote this to educate the young and impressionable in the 2020's not to repeat the same mistakes both I and others made in 2010. The fact the LP incidents is from 2019 and the incident with the Hazbin Hotel fandom are from December 2019 alone, shows that you good folks need some learning to do. Something that should be considered fun shouldn't be something worth hurting yourself or others over.

If you ever find yourself in such a debate, always remember to actually address points raised against you; don't dodge questions; if asked to provide canon reasons for why something should be a canonical OTP or NOTP, please remember that fanfiction are not considered canon examples; if you ever find yourself throwing nasty accusations, insults or threats to people's safety in a debate, then that means you lost the debate.

Hopefully you can follow this advise, and help make shipping fun again, and not something to start World War III over.

This had been my Ted Talk.

[jq37]

When you have time, can we get breakdowns for epusodes 3 and 4 of Bloodkeep? I'm going to be honest: I thought for sure that having a fight thousands of feet in the air was going to go about as well for Brennan as having a fight in an active volcano, but I was surprised

**spoilers for airship ambush**

I am not completely caught up on CR and I likely never will be because that backlog is truly stunning but I do know that Matt had a ship battle this season that one player (Taliesin I think) derailed completely. Now idk if that was before or after this was filmed but I have to imagine whichever one happened second had Matt flashing back to whichever one happened first. 

I really appreciate all the work Brennan puts into all the unique mechanics for all of his fight, specifically the ship stuff in this ep.

Sohkbar putting the potion in a cone of beef like he has a dog and not a horrifying monster abomination.

Efink being like, "Why did we let Galfast live?" and everyone being like, "Your??? Dumbass???? Husband???????"

Are there ever gonna be siblings on D20 who don't want each other dead? Marcus can join Adaine in the, "My sibling can go straight to hell," corner. (Kristen’s brothers don’t count, they had like zero screen time). 

"Ye shall pay for it."/"Aw come on." I love Mike.

Efink's spirit guardians are freaking Elven paparazzi.

Maggie being BFF's with John is my fave.  

Sidenote, I really love how all of these guys reskinned their attacks to make them fit their aesthetic and the campaign more.

Everyone applauding the Lord of Shadows.

A Brennan soundboard: Hell Yeah! Incredible. Bud.

MONSTER BANK.

"Who wore it better? Tom Cruise or this Mystery Bird?"

Marcus being like, "Yeah, I come from a pirate city. We're basically all bad guys."

Lilith takes a cue from Marcus and works on recruiting a SECOND eagle. And she rolls a 26!

John throwing a pocket square at the other-other eagle.

"Don't do it Leiland! You have so much to live for."

I love it when a player rolls, nods approvingly, and then is like, "Right, that's a [terribly low roll]."

Leiland being the personification of that John Mulaney gif as he falls off the ship: You know those days when you're like, this might as well happen?

Did the card for Hellish Rebuke actually say, "Set someone on fire if they hurt you"? Because if I got a card that vague as a newbie PC I'd be like, "Well he emotionally hurt me. Does that count?"

Matt using his reaction just to yell, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

"Because you have spent a good couple of sessions establishing yourself as extremely materialistic, this object is a close personal friend of yours."

That is is one of my favorite DnD sentences ever.  

"I WILL DIE BY YOUR HAND."

Efink rolled two, twos and I had Naddpod flashbacks. Shout out to the two crew!

The annoying thing about DnD is that you can just roll total garbage for an entire session. True randomness means that, sometimes, you just can't hit anything for a full 2 hours.

"Tokyo drifting your airship."

I've said this before but it's really a shame Matt doesn't get to play more. He's a great DM obviously, but he's such a stellar player too.

Wild Nat 20 from Leiland and then he tells LIlith to CUT THE CHAIN THAT’S KEEPING HIM FROM FALLING.

The Vingury showing up is one of my favorite things. Players being forced to face the direct consequences of their own RP actions is the best. 

I think the lesson on D20 is Spirit Guardians are Good.

One-liner king Trapp purposely whiffs the easy one liner.

"There is a slim chance that all goblins in the Bloodkeep have a bomb in them. Just a slim chance."/"WHAT?"

"Did we put them there? Is that on us?"

What was Brennan on when he came up with that mechanic?

One of my other fave DnD things is having a lengthy, pointless conversation as a giant battle is happening.

lol, Efink is a cleric. I also forgot.

Poor Leiland being in the radius of her Turn Undead. Buddy.

"You're making doors! You're doing that which you hate."

Boss use of druidcraft by Lilith. I like it when people use mainly flavor spells for combat.

"You could dramatically go above decks and jump OR you can just walk through the giant hole belowdeck."

"WOT IS HAPPENING? DID SOMEONE CLOSE A DOOR ON THE SUN?"/"I thought you liked that. I'm so unclear."

Leiland is getting straight Roadrunner'd by Hamhead and it's wild. (I forgot that the players also made a Loony Tunes ref and they did it right as I was writing this line).

“Puddles of fire.”

Just waves upon waves of enemies this fight, huh? I think that’s a good DM move because it means you can gauge how it’s going and send out more or less depending on if you’re players are getting murdered or if they’re totally breezing through it.

And while we’re talking about the fight, I guess sometimes you womp the terrain and sometimes it womps you and this was a scenario 2. I also think Brennan might have been more prepared this time with like the rooting Ents and the sturdy dwarf and the waves of enemies. 

The indignity of not only getting slayed by J'er'em'ih (or however you spell that) but specifically by his butt hands. Wild. You’d think Marcus would care more about not getting the killing blow but, actually, this is almost better because it’s not even a cool, noble, aesthetic pirate death. 

Trapp: Lol. Wouldn't it be cute if it was like J'er'em'ih was flying the boat?

Brennan: No, he needs to do that. Roll.

HE ROLLS AN 18.

Everything Brennan says about J'er'em'ih is equal parts fascinating and horrifying.

"DON'T BACKSEAT DRIVE EFINK!"

Parachute J'er'em'ih is just so wild.

"Just barely better than J'er'em'ih at driving."

"Oh, you're negging me, I see."

I always forget that Leiland is floating everywhere like he's on a freaking hoverboard.

The running thing of Leiland being useful but no one being able to see it is so so good.

LOTR needed more parachuting. I mean, I assume. I've never seen LOTR.

"It seemed super metal at the time."/"As a religious choice, it makes sense but saying it's for cleanliness doesn't make any sense." These guys are so good at improv. So consistently dropping gold.

"How does physics work?" Mike Trapp asks, as if that's something that has a hard and fast answer in DnD.

"I will actively go prone to sit where I am and pout." What a whole-ass drama queen.

lol Amy finally found Brennan's limit.

Even though they didn't do it, I love how down Rekha was for the insane airship plan.

Lilith treating Leiland like her adult disaster child is my fave.

"Please push harder."

Leiland drops darkness and the Goblin rolls a nat 20 to blow up the ship. Is there a moment more encompassing of this dude's existence?

"I understand that everyone here wants to rob me of my joy." DM mood. (Matt: I genuinely feel you there [and I’m reminded of that CR ship battle.])

The last shot of everyone falling out of the sky is so nice.

"WHAT THE HECK BRENNAN!?"

Anyway, as I was finishing this up, I got an ask about the next ep which is a doozy and prob my fave of the season so far. I’ll answer it as soon as I have another block of free time!

[stars-and-rose]

lacrosse and starbucks

alternately called: band au shenanigans? band au shenanigans.

really, i was planning on updating cursed kingdom this weekend. or heart point. or both. 

but my phone (which contains all my notes for both aus) had other ideas.

it died. i don’t mean the battery is out. i mean, it is completely done for.

so, until i get another phone (which should be very soon) and can recover my notes, it’s gonna be a little hard to update those aus. i’m currently rewriting my cursed kingdom notes in a notebook because my trust in phones has died.

in short, shit has hit the fan, and to make up for that, I found a drabble (whoops it’s actually almost 2k words) it wrote for my band au. soooooo here we go! it managed to become pining prinxiety and logically and I'm not sure  how 

Fandom: Thomas Sanders/Sanders Sides

Pairings: Highkey pining Prinxiety, and Logicality 

Summary: Junior year is almost over... the concert is in four days time, and at that concert, leadership position's will be announced. So what is Virgil doing? Practicing? no. Sitting at his c- friends lacrosse game and getting coffee? yes

Word Count: 1908

Trigger Warnings: Cursing and Implied parental death (brief, mentioned in a single sentence) 

Virgil could list a thousand other things he could be doing at the moment. He could be finishing his sociology report. He could be practicing his solo for the concert, which was less than a week away. He could be helping the younger members of the school's poetry group finish their writings for the slam coming up.

Instead, he had his back against the bleachers, his dark jean jacket hanging loosely off his shoulders and his eyes focused on the puffy clouds in a blue sky. He had been focusing on the game, but the opposite school had called a timeout and they were taking too long.

He wouldn't have been watching the lacrosse game if it weren't for the fact that one of its chief players was both his ride home and his best friend. Virgil looked away from the sky and back to the players, spotting Roman by his number. The honey blonde was twisting around his lacrosse stick, eyes focused only on the opponent. Roman got always got like this, it didn't matter if it was a lacrosse game, an audition or a friendly debate with Logan, another one of their friends; Roman’s mind was set on 'win' and it was a one-track mind on that setting.

The ref blew his whistle, and the game started back up. Virgil didn't exactly understand how the game worked, but he still sat in the stands, cheering when someone in blue and gold made a goal. No matter how hard he tried, however, he couldn't focus on any player that wasn't  Roman for more than ten seconds. It didn't help his cause that Romans ass look particularly good in the lacrosse uniform-

Just as the thought caused Virgil's cheeks to tint pink, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and noticed the caller ID- 🌸DAD🌸

It wasn't Virgil's actual father- rather, it the last member of their quartet, Patton. Virgil has been waiting for this call. He stood, his jacket falling off as he walked down the bleachers, apologizing to anyone he knocked into. After getting a decent way away from the game (so he could hear over the shouting and the clashing of sticks), he accepted the call.

He blinked as a pixelated image of Patton's face filled the screen. The brunet smiled at him, "Hey kiddo! How's the game going?"

Virgil snorted, "Bold if you to assume I understand how sports work. I think they're doing well though-  Ro hasn't thrown a fit yet. But that's not important- how did your interview go?"

Patton twisted a loose piece of his hair with his free hand. "I'm honestly not sure. Mr. Sanders was smiling the whole time and he seemed to like my answers, and I kept the right time during  the conducting section-"

"Patton, I heard the whole interview from the library. You did stupendously." Patton flushed and turned the camera a bit to show Logan, whose eyes were on the road and his hands were on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, Pat, I bet you did great. If Thomas doesn't give you Drum Major, I'll be really pissed. Who else is going for it? Zia Macintosh? If she gets it I'll riot, because she's a huge bitch." Virgil commented

"Don't be mean." Patton scolded, but the smile on his face contradicted his words.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "What are you guys doing now?"

"I'm treating Patton to ice cream for successfully completing his interview," Logan said, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

"I cone not believe how nice he is to me." Patton smiled, eyes soft and a bit unfocused. Virgil laughed as Logan groaned at the pun.

"Alright you two, I'm pretty sure Princey's game is over, so I gotta go. Who's doing rides tomorrow?"

"It's my day!" Patton grinned. "Meaning we're gonna leave early and get breakfast at Lottie's!"

Logan let out a groan. "We always arrive at school late when we go to Lottie's!"

"Then we'll get take-out." Patton decided.

"That will suffice. Virgil, make sure you tell Roman to be ready on time."

"I'll make sure the beauty queen is ready," Virgil promised. "See you guys tomorrow."

Virgil hung up, and walked back to the bleachers, looking for his jacket. When it wasn't there, Virgil freaked out a bit. He was just about to climb under the bleachers when he felt the cold material draped around his shoulders. Virgil spun on his heels and almost fell onto Roman.

The blond threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, hey Virge, just me!"

Virgil huffed, blowing a lock of dark hair out of his eyes. "You gave me a heart attack. Why did you take my jacket?"

"I saw that you left it up in the bleachers and grabbed it for you. Ready to go?"

"Do you have your keys?"

Roman rummaged through his letterman (which he wore all the time; Virgil only wore his own every once and a while) and pulled out his keys, which rattled against the various keychains attached. "Mmhm!"

"Then let's go Princey- I want Starbucks." Virgil speed-walked towards Roman's Jeep, ignoring the other boy's protests.

Roman caught up to him as Virgil reached the black car. "Why am I taking you to Starbucks?"

"Because I have a sociology report I have to finish and you have to finish your creative writing assignment and neither of us can function without coffee."

"I hate that you're right," Roman grumbled, before opening the passenger door for Virgil and walking around to get into the driver's side. Virgil considering banging his head on the car- Roman should not be allowed to do chivalrous and kinda cute things like opening doors and buying him coffee.

Instead, Virgil slipped into the car, breathing in the familiar scent of the sea-scented air freshener. Roman started the car and leaned back against the seat. "Hey emo nightmare, can you see if you can find my chapstick?"

Virgil rolled his eyes at the nickname but rummaged through the glove compartment until he found the vanilla chapstick that Roman was obsessed with. He passed the lacrosse player the chapstick and tried not to stare as Roman applied it. When he was done, Roman dropped it into his lap and began to pull out of the school's parking lot. "You're lucky it's on the way home."

"You'd do it even if it was on the opposite side of town." Virgil couldn't hear Romans's response, so he plugged his phone into the radio jack, settling on Pray for the Wicked. When 'Roaring Twenties' started to blast through the speakers, Roman let out a laugh and began to sing along.

By the time they pulled into the Starbucks drive-through, Virgil was wheezing as Roman started singing at an impossible octave. He was still snorting as Roman started to order.

"One iced caramel latte and one iced white chocolate mocha, both venti," Roman ordered as Virgil attempted to contain himself.

Virgil grabbed his drink as soon as Roman brought it into the car. "The white chocolate messes with your whole emo aesthetic."

"Fuck you, white chocolate is amazing." Virgil took a sip of drink to prove his point.

Roman laughed again, taking a sip of his drink before driving along. "Did you get a call from Patton and Logan?"

"Yup, Logan was taking Pat out for ice cream after what he said was a successful interview."

"When are they going to get together?" Roman complained.

"I know! They've been pining since sophomore year!" Virgil was being a  hypocrite, but that was irrelevant.

"It's crazy that we're going to be seniors." Roman sighed dreamily. "But senior year is gonna be a blast! I'm going to be a head section leader, you'll be equipment manager, Logan will be running the library, and Pat will be Drum Major."

"We won't know until the concert when Thomas announces leadership positions. If it happens, we'll have basically taken over the band," Virgil noted with a grin.

"It's because Thomas loves us. And we're crazy good players."

"Take the ego down a few notches, Ro."

"Roman laughed, then stopped the car in front of Virgil's house. "It looks like your moms not home." He commented.

Virgil looked; his mom's Toyota wasn't in the driveway. "She probably got called in." Virgil unbuckled, then remembered what he was supposed to tell Roman." Be ready early tomorrow; Pat's doing rides and we're stopping to pick up breakfast at Lottie's."

"Sounds great. See ya tomorrow Virge."

"See ya tomorrow, Ro." Virgil stepped outside, shut the car door, and walked up to his house, fumbling for his keys. After he opened the door, he turned and waved as Roman drove off. He closed the door behind him and noticed the note hanging from the corkboard his mom had hung in the entryway years ago.

Vee- Hope you had a good day at school, and at Romans game! I got called into the hospital, I swear they crumble without me there. I was able to make dinner before I got called, you should just have to heat it up. Text me when you get home, and don't stay up till three in the morning! <3 Mom

Virgil smiled. His mom was an emergency physician, and her irregular hours often left nights like this. It made him treasure the days she had off more. He hung up his jacket on one of the hooks, sipping his drink.

As Virgil headed for the kitchen, his eyes flared to the photograph on the wall- his mother standing with a smile, holding himself as an infant. Hugging her was a stranger in a military uniform that Virgil knew was his father.

Virgil found the food his mom had made and threw it into the microwave to heat it. While it warmed, Virgil perched on the counter, opening the various messages on his phone. Most were just streaks, so he flipped through them without paying attention until he opened the streaks from Roman.

The picture was of Virgil. He has his eyes closed and his face was frozen in laughter. It looked like Roman had snuck the picture of him while they were in the Starbucks drive-through. Roman, ever the artist, had added purple swirls around the edges.

Virgil  let out a laugh, "Dork."

After eating his dinner, texting his mom. and scrolling through Tumblr, he went upstairs and sat at his laptop. As it booted up- which usually took forever, the little shit, Virgil noticed an old poem laying on his desk. His mom must have been cleaning and found it. When he had written this? Eighth grade?

The poem was dark; it described feeling out, being on the outside looking in. Virgil has to admit, his old works were pretty cringe-worthy. But then again, eighth grade had not been fun.

Who would have thought a three-day band festival could be the catalyst that would change the lonely, sad boy who didn't know what was wrong with him to a boy who knew how to cope with his anxiety and was happily surrounded by friends?

Virgil pushed the poem off his desk, watching it fall to the floor slowly. "Don't worry." He found himself mumbling. "It gets better."

With that, Virgil opened his report and began to finish up it, a new poem idea swirling in the back of his mind, along with his improv solo playing as background music.

[reisabrisingr]

Honestly, I was thinking of Romans return and fuck, I couldn’t help but to write this.

Honestly, when Roman returns, I don’t want it on RAW or a random PPV.

I want it at Wrestlemania, I want it to be the main event of Wrestlemania. I don’t want anyone knowing about his return, not even Seth or Dean.

I want Seth and Dean to be in the main event of Wrestlemania. I want them to be versing one another for the vacant universal title. I don’t care who’s heel,who’s face.

I want it to be a triple threat, but whenever someone was qualifying to be the third, Seth and Dean are told to take them out. I want Seth and Dean to act like all they care about is for them to be facing one another, because this isn’t about a third, this is about them. One V One on the biggest stage of them all.

I want The New Day and The Usos hosting wrestlemania. I want them to make it fun, to make everyone laugh in between the matches by how much charisma they have with one another.

When Seth and Dean are in the ring, facing each other down, ready to put on the biggest fight of their lives. I want the new day and usos to come out.

I want the five of them being so confused by what’s going on as they’ve been told to announce there will be a third added into the match.

Jimmy comes out all confused,”well, myself and Uce have no idea what’s going on here.” Jey will lift the mic up and shrug,”I’m just as confused as you are.” Kofi will look between the four of them, trying to puzzle what’s going on,”we’ve just been told that Vince isn’t happy without the triple threat going on.” And for Xavier to lift up his mic and hold franchesca whilst looking at the crowd, “HHH and Vince are currently trying to figure out who’s going to be in the match right now. But who is it going to be?” And for the four of them to start a who chant along with Xavier on franchesca.

Whilst they’re doing it, Dean and Seth are arguing with the ref because it’s not fair. No one else was able to beat them to rightfully gain their place. The only people who deserve the main event spot is them.

And during all the chaos, all of a sudden out of no where the lights go black. The whole crowd is brought into silence, whilst on the titantrom it’s going crazy with letters. For a brief second one sentence stands out,”I can.” Then it scrumbles up the letters again ,”I will.” And then it stops. The whole place goes black again, some of the crowd were able to pick up the messages.

Then there’s a single sentence. “I did.” The whole crowd is confused.

Then all of a sudden, the whole place is lit up and surrounded by the familiar and symbolic guitar sounds. The same ones they used to be annoyed at hearing. Seth and Dean instantly freeze in the spot. Their mouths hanging open whilst they’re staring at the ramp.

Corey Graves is freaking out,”IT CANT BE, SURELY NOT?!” The New Day are shouting questions at Jimmy and Jey and they’re just shouting,”we didn’t know!! We have no idea.”

And then the spotlight is placed at the enterance of gorrila and Roman walks out with a massive smile. His hair is noticeably shorter but it’s slicked back, his logo on his vest is orange. Jimmy and Jey instantly jump on him, along with the new day.

Seth and Dean can’t help it, they know they have to fight one another. But they instantly climb out of the ring and start running up the ramp.

Roman finally gets the five other guys off of him when he spots his brothers almost half way up the ramp.

He has the biggest smile on his face, because fuck, he’s missed them. FaceTime, phone calls and texts just aren’t the same.

He starts jogging down to them, when they get to each other Seth and Dean practically throw themselves onto him.

They’re holding onto one another for dear life because fuck, they were so terrified that they’d never get to do this again.

The camera is catching each of their faces, Seth is crying because he finally has his big brother back. Someone he’s always been able to count on, someone whos never judged him. Dean is shaking, he can’t. He’s still angry as fuck at the world for doing this to his best fucking friend.

And Roman? He has the biggest smile on his face. He’s home. He’s got his boys back, as much as he wants to slap them upside the head right now and let them sort out their problems in a locked room. He’s so fucking happy. He’s missed them, he’s missed this. He’s missed us, the WWE universe.

Roman is pulled out of his thoughts by the “welcome back.” And “Yes” chants. He lets go of Seth and Dean, the camera picks up him saying,”We’ve got work to do.”

Corey is in complete and utter shock,”I can’t believe this. Renee did you know anything about this!” Renee is smiling so hard,”I can honestly say I had no idea, but I’m so happy for Roman Reigns right now.” Corey smiles whilst chuckling,”i can’t believe I can finally say this, welcome home big dog, your yard has missed you.”

When they get into the ring, the three of them lock up and Roman manages to out power Seth and Dean. He laughs and shouts at them,”THAT ALL YOUVE GOT? Come on! Do your worst, I can take it.”

The match is intense, theres broken tables and chairs are lying along the outside of the ring. The crowd have been wild, they’ve chanted so much during the match. From, the typical “let’s go, —— *clap,clap,clap*” to ,”this is awesome.” But the ones that stand out are,”Welcome back.” “You’ve still got it.” And,”Roman.”

Seth and Dean end up back in the ring, they’re leaning on one another for support. Roman is lying on the edge of the ring, trying to regain himself after Seth and Dean had teamed up to take him out.

Once Seth and Dean have locked up, Dean goes to set up for the dirty deeds, but Seth managed to stop him just before he went down.

Just as Seth is standing back up, they both feel the wind being knocked out of their stomachs as Roman had managed to spear the both of them. They land on the mat, lying flat on their backs. Romans puts an arm around both of them, too exahusted to move over and cover one of them fully.

1... 2... 3... DING DING DING.

The crowd arrupt, it’s the loudest they’ve cheered the whole night.

Jojo stands up with the biggest smile on her face,” ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match and your NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION... Roman Reigns. “

The crowd goes wild, Roman pushes himself up in shock,he looks at the ref,”No..” whilst shaking his head. The ref walks back over and hands Roman the title, his title. He looks at the title in his hands, memories flodding back to the night he had last held it. “My real name is joe, and I’ve been living with Leukemia for 11 years.” “Thank you, Roman.” “Because after I’m done whopping Leukemias ass once again, I’m coming back home.” He doesn’t even realise that he’s started crying until he feels someone wrap their arms around him.

He opens his eyes and realises it’s Seth, he let’s go of the title and hugs him back. He feels a light pressure touching his arm and looks over to see Dean, trying to help them both up. “Come on Seth, works done here.”

They both stand up and just as Seth’s about to walk away, Dean grabs onto his wrist, Seth jumps thinking he’s away to be attacked. Dean shakes his head, “don’t worry.” Dean pulls Seth into joining his hug with Roman.

Once they pull away Dean hugs Seth seprately,”I’m so sorry Seth. I just, I couldn’t be with you whilst Roman was gone, you reminded me too much of what we had. I’m so sorry.” And Seth can’t believe his ears, he’s waited over two years for that apology.

Romans music starts again and they separate the walk up the ramp, as they’re walking up the ramp, the McMahon’s and HHH start walking out to the top of the ramp to congratulate Roman followed by the entire RAW and Smackdown locker room and even the refs.

Once they get to the top Roman hugs each one of the McMahons and HHH before turning around, he raises his title and puts out his fist. He doesn’t even need to ask, he feels his boys placing their fists beside his.

Romans smile is massive.

Because my god, does it feel so good to finally be back home. This, this is what his life is all about.

[emotoothtiger]

Most curious, cos yesterday when I turned up for work there was a thing already on Radio4 Extra with Jimmy Mulville and a few others ( Betty or Beryl somebody- quite high up in the Beeb too. Look- I was working, I was paying attention as much as I could but I had a job to do and it involved not setting fire to myself, and I NEVER expected this relevant post to appear the very next day!). They were going on about comedy writing and e.g. writing for Frankie Howerd ( leave the oooers to me, OK?), or Douglas Adams, and how stuff like Steptoe and Son worked or how they got away with Till Death Do Us Part and In Sickness And In Health, and the problems with Father Ted. Well, your Alf Garnet is contentious enough now, but this was from the writers point of view, how it was perceived then and how they got away with it.

Then they had to flog it all. America is a great market, and they speak English. In fact the Americans even asked, requested, begged, for rights to be sold. However, there is a facet of our humour that does not transpose. It’s not that it completely does not exist in the US, because some people can get it and even execs, producers, those in charge that matter, and so on are quite capable of understanding and can in fact, even on their own initiative, love the stuff.  They can get it if they try. But when it comes to doing it themselves, it all falls down. It is rather hit or miss. Steptoe & Son seems to have been tried twice. It fell flat on its arse the first time round, and didn’t do to well, and only did a bit better the second, mainly cos they didn’t quite get the love hate wanna escape but can’t because they’re trapped and need each other father & son relationship. They gave them a posh house and decent vehicle, which was wrong as the whole point was that they were skint, depressed and going nowhere and did a bit of racial stereotyping to boot. One of its incarnations was Sandford & Son, which may have been the better one. But it wasn’t like the Steptoe original at all.

I don’t think Dad’s Army got past the pilot in the US.

Alf Garnet got a mention on the Watergate Tapes. Jimmy Mulville got the entire transcripts. You can do that too if you want. He heartily recommends it and urges you to look at the bits that are not popularly studied. They can be quite revealing. The show had been ready to be sold, as it was quite clear it was taking the piss, and no one thought it serious then ( ref above post shock humor ), however it was pulled because someone believed it and word got back to Nixon that was all real communist subversion. He even mentions it, (which is why it’s on the tapes :). I’d like to know why Jimmy Mulville had access and even more  I would like to know why he chose to study them. Maybe he’s a sponge for information in the way Terry Pratchett was.

Many writers ( this side ) have forbodings about the US to the extent that phrases like ‘refused’ and ‘waggon load of money’ appear in the same sentence along with utter incomprehension. Father Ted was subject to this. But I think the rights were sold, and it was written by others. Word got back that it was to set on an island off Boston. This apparently was good, until it was asked Do they have to be three Catholics in the same house on an island. The reply seems to have involved rabbis being a possibility, but it wasn’t serious.

This is the second time I’ve reblogged this post. I started this here one first, knowing that I couldn’t get into BBC Sounds so didn’t try  because you need a BBC sounds account to listen and I don’t so the above is a synopsis from memory as best as I can muster!. But then I did try and get in, and actually got so far and so far only, so I blogged the link anyway but I apologise for errors in memory although the substance is correct.

If you can get into it, the relevant people are Jimmy Mulville, Beryl Virtue, John Lloyd and Paul Jackson, and it’s absolute historical gold, from the Gods that matter ( the ones that are not dead yet anyway ). And there is a full explanation of why UK humour doesn’t work in the US.

[x]

[kellysbookblog]

Title: Captivated by You

Series: The Kingcaid Billionaires Book 1

Author: Tracie Delaney

Genre: Billionaire Romance

Release Date: September 1, 2022

Designer: CT Cover Creations

Photographer: CJC Photography

Model: Eric Taylor Guilmette

Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/books/captivated-by-you-the-kingcaid-billionaires-by-tracie-delaney

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61430464-captivated-by-you

My Amazon Review: https://www.amazon.com/review/R3I2WJGDVUFDYW/ref=pe_1098610_137716200_cm_rv_eml_rv0_rv

My GR Review: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62201176-captivated-by-you

 Blurb:

Girl walks into a bar, hooks up with the gorgeous guy in the designer suit, and has the hottest sex of her life.

 Sounds like a wet dream, right?

 Wrong.

 When I wake up the next morning in a stunning penthouse overlooking the Seattle waterfront to a note saying “have a safe flight back to Chicago,” his message is loud and clear: One and done.

 Famous last words.

 Guess who’s waiting to greet me on the first day at my new job? Turns out the mega-rich Asher Kingcaid is far from one and done. But surrendering to his charms is a bad idea. When you’ve been burned once, it makes sense to stay away from the fire.

 Except Asher is determined to drag me into the flames.

 Buy Links: Kindle Unlimited

Universal: https://readerlinks.com/l/2550392

Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B4GCD2PZ

Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0B4GCD2PZ

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B4GCD2PZ

Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0B4GCD2PZ

 Praise for the novel:

★★★★★ "Kiana and Asher grabbed my heart and made me read every word in a matter of hours." - Lasairiona McMaster, Romance Author  

★★★★★ "The whole story had a hold of me from the very first sentence right up while I read the words THE END." - OMGReads Blog  

★★★★★ "The way Tracie tells this story keeps you turning the pages until there are no more to turn." - Stephanie, Goodreads  

★★★★★ "This was my first book by this author and I definitely plan on reading more now." - Nicole, Goodreads  

★★★★★ "If you loved Tracie's Rogues series you're going to love this just as much!" - Catherine, Goodreads

 Teasers: attached/in drive

 Excerpt:

“Is your home far?��

“Five minutes.”

“Not far, then.”

“No.” Amusement laced his tone, and I peeked up at him to find his lips twisted into a smile.

“Something funny?”

“Yeah. You.”

He stopped and moved into my body, pressing me against a shop window. My heart skipped a beat at the suddenness of his mouth on mine.

Passionate. Urgent. Domineering.

I melted against him as one hand gripped my hair, the other my jaw, angling me while he decimated everything I’d ever thought about being kissed.

Someone wolf-whistled, breaking the spell. I dropped back to my feet from where I’d strained on tiptoes to nestle in close.

“Five minutes, you say?”

“If we walk fast, we can make it in four.”

“And if we run, we can cut it down to three.”

He chuckled. “I love the idea of you gasping for breath, but I’d hoped for a different catalyst.”

“We’re wasting time.”

He gripped my hand and marched down the street, the length of his stride meaning I had to jog to keep up with him. Sprinting up a set of steps in front of a towering building, we entered a lobby that teemed with affluence.

I’d correctly assessed the wealth of the man beside me, and for the first time, I hesitated.

What was I getting myself into?

 PreOrder: Releasing September 29, 2022

Amazon US: https://amzn.to/3AA3aBM

Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/3AXXAur

Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/3wD6ISU

Amazon AU: https://amzn.to/3wI0X6p

 Author Bio

Tracie Delaney is a Kindle Unlimited All Star author of more than twenty contemporary romance novels which she writes from her office in the freezing cold North West of England. The office used to be a garage, but she needed somewhere quiet to write and so she stole it from her poor, long-suffering husband who is still in mourning that he’s been driven out to the shed!

An avid reader for as long as she can remember, Tracie was also a bit of a tomboy back in the day and used to climb trees with her trusty Enid Blyton’s and read for hours, returning home when it was almost dark with a numb bottom and more than a few splinters!

Tracie’s books have a common theme of strong women who aren’t afraid to go after what they want and alpha males who put up a great fight (which they ultimately lose!)

At night she likes to curl up on the sofa with her two Westies, Murphy & Cooper, and binge-watch shows on Netflix. There may be wine involved.

Visit her website for contact information and more www.authortraciedelaney.com

 Social Media Links

Website: www.authortraciedelaney.com

Amazon - smarturl.it/TracieDelaneyAmazon

Bookbub - smarturl.it/TracieDelaneyBookbub

Facebook Group – smarturl.it/TraciesRacyAces

Instagram – smarturl.it/TracieDelaneyIG

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@author_tracie_delaney

Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/TracieDelaneyAuthor

[lovewhatyoudodolan]

Number One Fan || Grayson Dolan

Request: Could ya do an imagine where you’re a really good lacrosse player and one of the boys is your boyfriend coming to watch you? idk where to go from there but its just an idea 🤗

Word Count: 2067

A/N: I’m so glad my roommate plays LAX because I am clueless being a softball player and all haha

MASTERLIST

REQUEST

Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d be starting for your universities lacrosse team as a freshman, let alone be named the conference player of the week. Your first game was last week, and did everything in your power to lead your team to victory. After scoring seven goals and assisting on another three, your team won with thirty seconds to spare in the game. 

When you walked on the turf, you knew you were a good player. It was like you were an entirely different person; confident, calculating and even a little cocky. Anywhere else though, you were quiet and usually kept to yourself which surprised most of your teammates. 

Today was game day, so you were awkwardly sitting in your history lecture waiting for the clock to strike twelve. This was your least favorite class this semester, so you just did your best to make it through without falling asleep. 

As the professor turned around, a piece of paper slid onto your desk, and you knew it was your teammate Jesse. She was the other freshman starter, but was a midfielder. ‘have you heard from your boy yet?’ 

You roll your eyes at the question before writing back a simple ’no’. Everyone on your team was obsessed with Grayson. When he visited you last fall for homecoming, you could’ve sworn everyone almost fainted. A few girls on the team followed he and Ethan when they were on vine, and were mad that you hadn’t informed them of your famous boyfriend. 

The thing was, you never found it to be a big deal that you were dating Grayson. You grew up with the twins and Cameron back in New Jersey, even playing lacrosse with Cameron most years. So it never really clicked in your mind that Grayson actually WAS well known around the world now. You still viewed him as that goofy kid from middle and high school.

You flipped your notebook closed as the older professor finished his lecture on the French Revolution. Next semester you would definitely be using rate my professor before choosing any of your classes, because this was ridiculous. 

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard from Grayson yet,” Jesse perked up as the two of you walked out of the cluttered classroom, “He said he was coming this week right?”

You shrug and glance down at your phone in hopes of having a notification. At the mention of Grayson’s supposed visit this week, your stomach dropped. The last time you spoke to the brunette boy was almost a two weeks ago and that worried the hell out of you. Had something happened? Had Grayson changed his mind?

“Y/N?” Jesse brought you out of your dark thoughts causing you to sigh, “Is everything alright between you and Gray?”

“I honestly don’t know Jess,” She pushes the door open so you could walk out of the building, “He’s been so busy lately and every little thing is stressing him out. His constantly traveling isn’t helping either...”

She nods before patting my back, “I heard about the whole Australia trip and how the fans were saying he got this girls number and took her out.”

“It’s just hard to have trust when things like that are circulating,” Your hand comes up to push stray hair out of your face, “I love him but I also don’t want to be played a fool. He’s attractive and girls constantly throw themselves at him...”

Jesse stopped walking and turned to face me, “Grayson loves you. There’s no doubt in my mind when it comes to that. He didn’t waste any time showing that when he visited last semester.”

“A lot can change in a semester though,” You sighed. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to trust Grayson, but sadly rumors got around and some were seemingly TOO accurate.

My teammate was at a loss for words after my comment. She stared at me, jaw opening and closing as she tried to formulate a coherent sentence. “Let’s not focus on him then... You’re about to play a phenomenal game tonight, so just keep your head in the game.”

‘Easier said than done Jesse,’ At this point your head was reeling with thoughts about my missing boyfriend. Since I last saw the brunette, I’ve done a great job hiding my insecurity but this conversation brought all of it out. Grayson could’ve actually hooked up with a number of girls while he’s been away, and I would never know.

A hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality, “I’ll meet you in the lounge at two to head to the fields okay?”

“Yeah sure,” You sign and scan your id to unlock the door to your building. Some days are always harder than others, today was obviously one of those days. You slide your iPhone out of your back pocket, quickly pressing Grayson’s contact only to once again get his voicemail. “Great...”

The walk to your room was silent other than random giggles coming from other rooms on your hall. Since the building you lived in was older, it was common to hear peoples conversations between the thin walls. When you reached your room, you were confused to hear music playing lightly. Last you checked, your roommate had already departed for her spring break trip with her family...

You slammed the door open and felt your heart skip a beat at the familiar brunette boy lying on your small twin bed, “Finally!”

“W-what?” Grayson dropped his phone on your pillow before jumping off the half lofted bed, “Gray?”

A giddy smile was on the boys perfect features as he pulled you into a tight hug, “I’ve been hiding here since you left for your classes earlier. Your roommate snuck me in before she left for the airport.”

So that’s why he wasn’t answering my snaps. “I just called you idiot,” you groan and feel tears brimming your eyes, “God what if something had happened and you hadn’t answered. Damn it Gray...”

“Whoa,” He cups your chin lightly so you were looking him in the eye, “Is something wrong? Why are you crying?”

You swallow down the lump that had formed in the back of your throat before composing yourself, “I’ve been worried sick because you’ve hardly talked to me lately Gray. Jesse almost had be throwing up from worry earlier when she asked if I had heard from you recently...”

A frown etched it’s way onto his features, “I’ve been planning this trip with Ethan for thee last week. Before that I was filming so I could actually make the trip without people wondering where I had run off to. I wanted to be here to support you.”

“God I’m an idiot for worrying so much,” You sigh and hide your face in his chest, “I don’t even know where the thoughts came from Grayson. You’ve never given me a reason to question your loyalty, but all of a sudden I thought you had cheated and were leaving me.”

Gray rubbed loft circles into your lower back, “Not gonna happen. I’m sorry I made you worry, especially when you have a game tonight.”

“I could care less about the game tonight now,” It was nice being back in the boys strong arms, “I’m just glad you’re here.”

He just nods before placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “Well you’re still going to kick ass tonight. I have no doubt in my mind.” You don’t even let him finish before your lips are smashing against his in a eager kiss. Every second he is here, you were going to take advantage of.

--- 

Never in your life had you had such a rough start to a game. Even if this was the best team in your conference, you should’ve been blowing them out of the water. Instead, you were lagging behind on every play occurring. In the first ten minutes, you blatantly missed five passes that you could’ve received in your sleep. 

When your coach called for a time out, you push your mask off your eyes in order to wipe the sweat from your face. Over your teammates shoulders, you could see Grayson sitting anxiously on the bleachers. He knew you hated when games started like this, and he also could tell you were frustrated with your playing.

“Y/L/N are you going to be able to pick yourself back up, or do you need me to swap you out with Laney?” Your grip on your stick tightened at your coaches words. Laney was one of the other attack players, but since she never showed up to practice anymore she didn’t play. 

There was no way in hell you were going to let her walk onto the turf, “I’m good coach.” It was as if a switch flipped after that meeting. You and Jesse were the perfect team as she would continuously pass the ball to you in order to make goals. If your shot was blocked, you’d pass back to her in order to find a new position. 

As you made yet another goal, Jesse jumped on your back in excitement due to the sudden comeback. “Y/N you’re kicking some major ass!”

“I guess,” I chuckle and dump the girl off onto the ground, “Let’s get this last goal before we celebrate though.”

There was only a minute left in the half, so this was the teams last chance to steal the win away without going into overtime. “Kick their ass!” Grayson’s voice drowned everything out as your head snapped towards him. The entire crowd was watching the famous boy as well, some even taking out their phones to snap a picture “Go Y/N!”

You just nod and wait for your team to get possession of the ball once more, and with the way Jesse was playing that day it didn’t take long. The blonde quickly cradled a throw from one of our defensive players before passing it to you. 

“Here we go...” Without a moments hesitation, you threw for the goal. As soon as the goalie took a wrong step, you knew it was going in. You dropped your stick on the ground for inspection and ran off towards Jesse to pull the girl into a hug. “I can’t believe we came back.”

“I can’t believe you pulled your head out of your ass so quickly,” She joked before the rest of your team ran over to hug the two of you as well. When the ref approved the goal the crowd went wild, and the buzzer went off signalling that the game was over. 

Since the game went in your favor, your coach didn’t keep the team in the locker room long. You quickly took a shower and changed before returning to Grayson who was now waiting in your car. “You kicked some serious ass our there babe. I’m so proud of you.”

“Gray the entire crowd was watching you,” It was like the high from the game had completely wore off and the reality of the situation was setting in. No one knew you were dating Grayson, and now that people knew he was watching a LAX game at your university questions would begin circulating.

He scratches the back of his neck lightly before biting his lip. “Yeah... I was thinking about that.”

“What the hell are we going to do?” Worry was etched into your features by now as you stared the boy in your passenger seat down. “Someone is bound to figure it out.”

He shrugs, “I was thinking we could just make the announcement, but that’s totally up to you since it’s your right to have privacy.”

“I...” Of all things you weren’t expecting Grayson to suggest going public. Honestly, it would make things for you two easier if you were. At the same time though, it could be a living hell due to the amount of publicity that would be shining in your direction. “Is that what you want?”

He nods, “Only if you want to though.”

You sigh before smiling at the happy brunette next to you, “Grayson you mean a lot to me and this is your life. I want to be apart of it as much as I can.”

“So... Is that a yes?”

“That’s a hell yes.”

---

GraysonDolan: Guess you could say I’ve known her for awhile... @y/u/n #yesiamtaken

[avanneman]

The Code of the Woosters

The 23 episodes of “Jeeves and Wooster”, a British TV series starring Stephen Fry as Jeeves and a young Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster that ran from 1990 to 1993, are now available via YouTube. If you don’t know who Jeeves and Bertie are, you probably won’t enjoy the series. If you do know, you’re almost sure to have quibbles.

Jeeves, indispensable personal manservant, and his employer, mentally negligible man about town Bertie Wooster, were the supreme creations of P. G. Wodehouse (pronounced “Woodhouse”), the most gifted (to my mind) author of light fiction who ever lived. George Orwell, who wrote an intelligent though ultimately too generous discussion of Wodehouse, explained to ignorant Americans that Bertie was a pre-World War I Edwardian “knut”, a languid, yet somehow charming fellow whose general incompetence somehow makes it appropriate that he should have more money than he can spend.

The fact that a lot of Bertie Woosters got slaughtered in the trenches of World War I somehow did not decrease the market for Wodehouse’s fiction. Wodehouse, who always looked rather determinedly on the bright side of life, at least in public, shrewdly guessed that a lot of people would prefer to pretend that the Great War never happened, and so made the world of the knut even more extravagantly self-indulgent and unreal than it had been in the balmy days when King Edward was still alive,1 creating a world of young men in spats, white flannels and cucumber sandwiches, smart flats and country homes, heiresses and French maids, all of them pure as the driven snow—for Wodehouse’s world is as innocent as the real one is wicked.

What makes Wodehouse worth reading is the wonderful dexterity of both his language and his plots—“musical comedy without the music,” he liked to call it, although few musicals could match the twists and turns of his absurdist plots where everything is first turned upside down—very often due to Bertie’s blundering—and then flipped rightside up again thanks to Jeeves’ brilliance.2 Wodehouse drew heavily on the tradition of Gilbert and Sullivan for both his plots and language, translating them onto the written page. He had a wonderful ability to mix the clichés of formal and colloquial English—ponderous “Establishment English” and English “public school”3 slang, in particular—turning them inside out or leaving them rightside in while placing them in incongruous surroundings, shifting constantly from outrageous overstatement to similarly outrageous understatement within a single sentence.4

When I first saw the Jeeves and Wooster episodes I was disappointed that every line of Wodehouse’s superb verbal stunting wasn’t faithfully replicated on the screen—absurd, no doubt, but, as Bertie would say, there it is. After almost thirty years to collect my thoughts, I find that, so far, my original judgment was a bit harsh. Stephen Fry makes an excellent Jeeves, though there’s often an ironic tone to his supposedly respectful responses to Bertie’s inanities—as though Fry feels the need to let us know that Jeeves knows how stupid Bertie is—which strikes me as lazy and self-indulgent. The real Jeeves, one feels, would be above the need to signal his superiority.

Laurie’s Bertie Wooster is more of a mixed bag. In the first scenes of the first episode, Laurie engages in some horrible mugging, intended to let us know that Bertie’s suffering from a hangover, but if the plot didn’t make that clear, we’d never have guessed. Eventually. Laurie improves, and physically he makes an excellent Wooster, his tall, spindly, eccentric frame making even the most elegant outfit look somewhat ridiculous, and thus serving to ridicule rather than distinguish its wearer.

The trappings of twenties and thirties elegance are very well done, but the Brits, of course, never tire of this. British studios must have roundhouses of puffing locomotives, garages bursting with antique sports cars, taxis, and limos, not to mention immaculately maintained country homes and smart flats. The theme music, a sort of palm court jazz, if that isn’t too rude a term, is quite catchy as well.

The attempts to “open up” Wodehouse’s world are another matter, and an area where devotees are likely to quibble. The series takes us inside Bertie’s “Drones Club,” but the members are depicted as emotionally stunted six-year-olds, while I always envisioned them as emotionally stunted thirteen-year-olds. I ended up bailing on the series back in the nineties for its lack of “respect” for Wodehouse, but if I persevere through the whole thing this time around I may be more forgiving.

Afterwords In the “real” twenties, knuts were better known as upper-class twits or “Bright Young Things.” The current British series The Windsors does a better job taking down the modern-day upper-class twit, because The Windsors deals with shagging and snorting as well as cigarettes and liquor, which are the only sins permitted in Jeeves and Wooster, though The Windsors still keeps it light. For a grimmer touch, you can find a TV adaptation of Evelyn Waugh’s Decline and Fall, in which all the Bright Young Things are damned to Hell—or at least would be if Evelyn had his way. Variations on these themes can also be found on the once legendary Upstairs Downstairs series, which you can get on Amazon, if not elsewhere, as well as the execrable Downton Abbey—execrable if not indeed damnable—which I ridiculed both here and here.

Back in his heyday, between the two big wars, Wodehouse was the beloved pet of virtually every English writer, from Orwell on the left to T. S. Eliot (officially an American, of course,5) on the right, first because he was so funny and second because he offered no competition to them, despite writing of a world that they all knew never existed.6 The Wodehouse cult endured a great crisis in the early days of World War II when Wodehouse and his wife, enjoying an extended vacation in France, managed to get themselves captured by the German army. They were interned as enemy civilians, and Wodehouse agreed to make a few radio broadcasts for the Germans, in which he explained that his hosts, once you got to know them, proved to be rather jolly chaps in the whole. This naturally enraged the British population, who regarded Wodehouse as nothing less than a traitor.

The intelligentsia can always love an outcast—some more than others, of course—and Wodehouse admirers like Orwell rallied round in an excessive manner, rushing to “explain” that Wodehouse was a political naïf who knew not what he did. I think one can wonder about that. Wodehouse was quite a wealthy man—rarely the mark of a naïf in the first place—and many wealthy people on the eve of World War II feared that a “long war” would inevitably lead to crushing taxation and endless governmental regulation of every aspect of society no matter who “won”. Better to have the whole thing settled and done with, so that, hopefully, we could somehow find our way back to “normality”. Far more illustrious men than Wodehouse—Picasso, Matisse, and Andrè Gide, for example—were willing to make their peace with the Nazis. One must learn to accept that which one cannot change, after all.

Edward VII, who reigned from 1901 until 1911, was the figurehead monarch of a society that was moving rapidly towards civil war (over the question of “Home Rule” for Ireland) when an even greater external crisis intervened. Great Britain, as it then was generally called, was spared a civil war at the expense of about 600,000 dead and an equal number of wounded. On the one hand, there was almost nothing that Edward could do to prevent the smashup. On the other, there was almost nothing he did do to prevent the smashup. ↩︎

Eighteenth century literature featured many plots where, as Orwell (again) put it, the elements fit together like the teeth of a zipper, but the real classic that prefigures Wodehouse is Beaumarchais’ Marriage of Figaro, far better known in the U.S. via Mozart’s opera. Wodehouse no doubt got the idea from Gilbert and Sullivan rather than the “original”. ↩︎

English “public schools” are what we would call private schools. Wodehouse was immensely happy at his school—confusingly known as “Dulwich College”. It isn’t hard to guess from his work that he found the idea of an all-male society revolving largely around sports and adolescent hijinks immensely appealing. ↩︎

Wodehouse came from a seriously “colonial” family, and according to Wikipedia was raised for the first two years of his life by a Chinese nurse. I’ve read (somewhere) that the historian Edward Gibbon was cared for in his first years by a French nurse, and William F. Buckley was initially raised by a Spanish one. Not being exposed to your “native language” from birth can perhaps lead certain spirits to experience language as “naturally” artificial. ↩︎

Wherever he went, Eliot liked thinking of himself as a “metic” (Greek for “resident alien”)—St. Augustine’s notion of the proper role of a Christian while here on earth. I once read an interesting biography of Eliot that collected the opening remarks of addresses he gave, largely in the U.S. and the U.K., in which he would politely but firmly explain to his audience that he was not one of them. ↩︎

Not every writer adored Wodehouse. It’s typical of writers, regardless of background, to think of themselves as aristocrats and identify with the aristocracy, but some British writers, raised in the “Dissenting” tradition, hate everything about the whole country house fantasy. The fact that Wodehouse created a sort of “Disney version” made it no more palatable. ↩︎

[chocolatemillkk]

Conor in Trouble (CM)

Request: Can you do an imagine where the reader goes out with Conor and his video to how it go comes out but he never said and she has to watch it with everyone and shes upset and stuff!

This was a quick fun one to write! I was confused at first lol had to ref back to the video but here you go-hope you enjoy anon 💙

---------------------------------------

We were all sat at Joe's with nothing to do. Some of the boys wanted to go out for drinks but Joe and Byron had caught some sort of flu so we were keeping them all company. And it wasn't so bad, we just finished a movie and there were three empty pizza boxes littered on the tables with empty bottles. Jack was half-asleep beside me and Joe and Byron were cuddled in blankets, eyes heavy with fatigue. But no one wanted to leave.

My boyfriend sits back beside me so I lean my head on his shoulder. He seemed distracted all evening and I was starting to get suspicious when I realise how long he's been on his phone for.

"Oh my god Conor," Josh gets up from his seat and immediately, everybody is awake and staring at his outburst. "Your music video was released tonight?"

Conor runs his hand through his hair and laughs it off, "Yeah mate. It's officially out there!"

I prop myself back up and stare at Conor, why didn't he remind me it was going up? "That's exciting!" I say.

"Yeah," Conor glanced at me and smiles but there's something else in his expression I can't quite figure.

"Why was it so secret?" Joe croaks from his spot on the sofa.

"I knew," Jack boasts with a wink.

"You're his brother of course you knew," Miley states the obvious. "And Y/N probably knew too."

Everyone looks to me and I open my mouth, feeling very uncomfortable. Luckily, Josh saves me.

"Well let's put it up! I want to watch it on the big screen!"

"Yeah," I agree. I sit up straight and lean into Conor. "This is the collab with Anth right?" I whisper.

He finally looks at me, "Yeah, from last month."

Hm, so this was the one he had described to me as "hands on." I pull my knees to my chest and rest my chin on it as Conor gets up to put the video on and right away I my stomach drops. The cover is my boyfriend silhouetted with another woman, but I ignore the twinge of jealousy. He's had to do shoots and videos like this before and it was never a big deal to me. But something about his current behaviour and the release gives me a bad feeling. I watch him perch on the other side of the sofa.

"Conor," Josh acts scandalized as the video goes on and Caspar thinks it's funny to walk over to sit beside me and cover my eyes with his hands. I laugh it off, trying to be casual but I'm furious. Conor downplayed the music video so much and I was naive enough to believe him. In actuality, his hands are all over her and hers all over him. They never kiss, but somehow it seems worse.

"That's some really good vocals," Byron compliments Conor.

"That's some really good visuals! Conor's in trouble!" Jack makes the whole room laugh so I paint a smile on my face. I can sense Jack glance over at me after the joke but I try to hide the anger growing in me.

"Conor how was Y/N even okay with this?" Joe asks as the video finishes.

Conor looks over at me with a weary expression. "He told me ahead of time-it's just a music video." I smile at the boys who believe me in an instant. Even though I wanted to drag Conor by the ear and dump his ass in the Thames, I wasn't about to get upset and cause a scene in front of all his friends.

"Pass on her info," Caspar jokes.

"You don't stand a chance Caspar," I tease him.

"That's very rude Y/N. If Conor could do that for a music video I definitely stand a chance." Caspar says without realising the implication of his words and the next moment stretches out in silence so loud you could head a pin drop. "Wait, that didn't come out right." Caspar rushes to say but it didn't matter. The night was over for me and Caspar's comment-although unintentional-was the last straw.

"Very nice," I say sarcastically as tears gather in my eyes. I get up and grab my phone from the coffee table, making sure to make eye contact with Conor. The room is dead silent and I feel humiliated walking out.

"Caspar what the fck is wrong with you?" I hear Conor explode as I grab my jacket from the closet.

"No, wait Y/N that's not what I meant!" Caspar yells out and I hear his footsteps padding out of the living room.

"That was smooth," Jack mumbles.

"Y/N, you know I didn't mean anything by that," Caspar catches me in the foyer and grabs me in a hug, my face buried into his jumper. "It was a bad joke-"

A voice interrupts him, "Caspar's brain is smaller than his-"

"Shut up!" Caspar yells out to stop Joe's sentence from continuing. He grabs me by the shoulders and gets right into my face as he apologises.

"It's fine Casp," I say. And it was alright, the only reason I was still upset was because of Conor. But I wasn't going to reveal that to him.

"Come back, stay with us." Caspar says but I refuse. When I convince Caspar I was okay, he steps back and I realise Conor had been standing behind us.

"I'll take her home," Conor moves past Caspar to reach the door.

"I'll be alright," I say coldly. "You can stay here."

Caspar looks between us and slowly backs into the other room. I hear him telling the boys I was going home and I hear a chorus of goodbyes.

"Don't be like that," Conor says. I yank open the door and head out, he didn't even deserve a response. I begin walking fast up the street and Conor jogs to catch up.

"Y/N! Why are you walking so fast?!"

I ignore my boyfriend and continue my trek. He calls me again and grabs my arm to turn me around.

"Y/N," Conor pleads.

"Don't Y/N me!" I snap. "God Conor I can't believe I thought you could never lie to me! That you were one of the good ones! I mean yeah you flirt a lot and have a shitton of girl friends but that video? That video was like a punch to the gut Conor! You downplayed the whole thing 'oh yeah it got a little hands on but no big deal' yeah right what a load of shite! If that's hands on I don't even want to know what-"

"Listen, Y/N I didn't want to upset you!" Conor tries to argue.

"Upset me? By not telling me? When in the history of civilization has that ever worked for anyone?" I cry. "You may as well have been having sex on screen Conor! You could have told me just how hands on you were getting I would have understood! Maybe I wouldn't have liked it but I would have understood! Or you could have stopped the idea altogether if you didn't want me to get upset! The song was great Conor! It was great without the sex appeal! I can't believe you-I honestly cannot believe I trusted you that much!"

"No, Y/N please don't say that!" Conor's eyes fill with tears as he tries to hold my hand but I slip them into my pockets. "I wasn't trying to hide anything or hurt you! I barely knew the woman we hired it was all choreographed!"

"That's not the point," I watch my boyfriend scramble to come up with something to say.

"I love you Y/N. You know that! I love you more than my music career is worth but I had to do that video-it was out of my hands. And I really just-I didn't want to disappoint you by going into just how close we got on set."

My mind flashes to the video, the silhouettes dipping into one another and my boyfriend's hands all over the beautiful woman and I feel a fresh wave of tears come on.

"No, babe." Conor pulls me into him and wraps me in his embrace. "It was just a dance choreography for me I swear. I love you Y/N, I was thinking about you the entire time on set I swear. I even asked Anth to bring you on but it was out of his hands too. I love you Y/N." Conor strokes my back gently and I let the tears stream down my cheeks. It hurt seeing Conor like that on screen and it hurt more that he downplayed it the way he did but I also knew when my boyfriend was sincere.

"It hurt seeing that, especially with all your friends around. And you being so secretive." I tell Conor.

"I fcked up," he holds my face in his hands. "I really didn't want to watch it then, I wanted to tell you beforehand but it just-it got out of control. But I am so sorry." He kisses my forehead and I close my eyes to it. I would forgive him, maybe not in this moment but I'd get past it-I was terrrible at staying mad.

"You really can't get jealous next time I collab with a male Youtuber," I tell Conor on our way home.

"Wha? Of course I can when they're always flirting with you!"

"They do not Conor! You're in the room half the time!"

"They do! How about when Mikey and Caspar asked you if you wanted to do the chapstick challenge?"

I can't help but crack up-not just the example but the visual of that ever happening. Conor exaggerates a kissy face and stalks towards me which makes me bend over laughing.

"Mate I think this tastes like pina colada," Conor mocks Mikey. "This is definitely the pineapples I grew back in south africa," he imitatates Caspar's accent. By the time we reach the tube we're breathless with laughter and I forgot I was upset in the first place. We find an empty cart to sit in and Conor pulls me in close to him.

"Thank you," he says simply. "I really don't know what I did to deserve someone like you but thank you for being so accepting."

"Don't think you get off that easily," I tease.

He holds his wrists out and says dramatically, "Okay, just do it! Arrest me!"

I laugh, "I'm serious Maynard! You're making dinner all week and booking off two weeks to stay home."

"Bur I'm flying to-"

"Home! With me!" I repeat sternly. Conor sighs but leans back in his seat.

"That's what I was going to say!"

I roll my eyes, of course he was.