#I had to vent.

[onwriting-hrarby]

i didn't realize i was being flirted with and the guy didn't speak my language - on speaking a minority language

hey folks, i hope you're fine! this week i have been going into cafés and bookshops and trying to tackle a little bit of writing. i always seem to flow better at those spaces, when i'm not home, as if my time was somehow more restricted and i had to make it worth it.

something happened on one of my outings, though. aside of not being able to write because a guy wanted to talk to me (and at that time, i thought he really wanted to talk to me. only when i explained it to other people i realized he might be flirting, which is sad, because we talked about writing and literature and it might have all been a bluff... anyways. i gave him my email and instagram cause i thought he was genuine but now i'm hesitant to answer, truly. i am so naive. look, i haven't been flirted with for 13 years. i don't realize these things.), this same guy was working on the café i was on. and so i approached and asked him, in my language: could you watch my bag while i go to the toilet?

and he looked at me, almost glaring, took out one of his buds from his ear, and said: "ENGLISH?"

Like, not even a "please". Not even "I don't understand". He requested English just like this. Just like... it was easy.

Some of you may know that I speak a minority language in a country that has TWO official languages: mine and Spanish. Not English, mind you. We know English because we learn it at school, same as fucking French.

Thing is: We can't speak our minority language anymore. I mean, we can, but people don't understand us. The policy of coming to our country is that everyoen is free to come (and everyone is! thank god for that) but that means that people learns the bigger language, which is Spanish. And, look, I mean, I could understand that. Maybe it's ignorance, maybe it's because it's easier, and a lot of people already know Spanish when they come, so why do they care about learning for a smaller language? (Well, then they'll record videos saying that we are not welcoming, that it's difficult to have relationships or friendships with people... I mean... You're forcing me to change my language but.) The thing is: Waiters don't understand us, people from shops, in the fUCKING DOCTOR i can't speak my language. And I'm not bilingual. I don't have the same ability with one language or another, because I speak my native tongue much more than I do Spanish. When I go to therapy, I need to ask beforehand if they speak my language.

Anyway, the thing is WE ARE LOSING OUR LANGUAGE and people that come here don't really care about it. Okay, globalisation, capitalisation, economisation.Fucking whatever.

But we have been living an age when there's also a lot of expats. And I mean A LOT. And they all use English as a common language and that's so... DISRESPECTFUL. Learn the fucking language of the country you're going to. They do this in all the countries they go, though. I get angry when Spanish people don't learn my language, because they would fucking learn portuguese if they went to Portugal, right? Or Germany. But Spanish is an official language, so I can understand their reasons. But to pressupose that people know English EVERYWHERE in the world... it's another level. It's so fucking disrespectful.

Honestly, I don't know why I engaged in conversation with him. He had just moved here (no knowledge of nothing, not even the neighbourhoods in the city. He wanted the experience. Okay) and I found him interesting because I always find people interesting. But I should have told him: NO ENGLISH. NO FUCKING ENGLISH. I'M NOT ENGAGING IN SOMEONE WHO MOVES BUT DOESN'T CARE TO LEARN MY LANGUAGE.

I've had enough. So disrespectful.

[escespace]

In fact, yes, I always come back to Merthur

No matter what universe or what plot.

It's all the scriptwriters' fault for building these characters as two Lego's pieces that should be placed one with the other AND NEVER MAKE THEM FIT TOGETHER

It's like being stuck in an eternal expectation. A song that you never hear again but the melody never leaves your head. A piece of gossip that you never finish hearing. THE SERIES OF BOOKS WHOSE WRITER DISAPPEARS BEFORE FINISHING THEM

And the actors are also to blame because who sends them to characterize their characters with such complicity and silent understanding?

Total torture

I love how no matter what show or ship I get obsessed with, I always end up back reading merthur fic. It’s like a mental reset. I need a dose of idiot soulmates before venturing back out into the wild.

[doom-dreaming]

"when i was your age, i was working three jobs to help support my family" and "when i was in college i was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and living off of soup"

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THAT. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THIS ISN'T A CHARACTER-BUILDING LESSON, IT'S JUST BAD

[daikaiju-arts]

Don’t let your guard down…

[hinamie]

sympathy for cain

[hinakurachan]

Unpopular opinion:

Not everything has to be rated R or TV-MA to be enjoyable. 🙄

[oblique-lane]

Right here, right now

[ratsoupee]

Accepting isolation, craving belonging

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[dianagj-art]

[sillysiluriforme]

tu pleure tarpin beaucoup quand même

[chipper-smol]

binary stars being dramatic as always

(happy isat anniversary \o/)

[greenlaut]

tea & dates

continuation of bitter tea & oranges

[dykedvonte]

Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

[miloway]

Not my video, from kallimaraki on tiktok