#I had to basically give up writing to figure out my life work situations etc

[rexxdjarin]

I think the vast majority of this fandom has forgotten I exist as a writer/artist/creator

most of my work hasn’t been touched in months

which is really deflating

[juliwuzhere]

Question: If Camp Camp (Once the show gets picked up for season 5 again the title and summary doesn’t matter could be either or) hired you as a guest writer, and you got to write like a few episodes max, what would you write about?

Omg. I have been waiting to be asked about my episode ideas for SO LONG. I’ve wanted to make them into actually fanfics on AO3 but I’m not sure if these are good ideas so I’m taking feedback on what ideas are and aren’t good!

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Muffled thoughts-

Okay so I love the brainwashing plot that Daniel had introduced A LOT. And I wish they had kept it but you know if the show runners didn’t want it to be this super epic thing they could probably follow the plot of this episode idea.

Basically, Daniel try’s to brainwash Max and get him to turn against the camp-

(Side note: I’ve been planning on writing a more serious version of this inspired by one of my favorite camp camp fanfics called “Nothing Sweeter than Revenge,” the sequel to a rewrite of the cult camp episode. If you’ve read it then you know it will follow the same premise but be a much longer and detailed dive into the moral ambiguity of the situation. And if you haven’t read it, READ IT, IT IS SO SO SO GOOD!)

-so he brainwashes him but the camp is able to immediately defeat him. Daniels arrested or something happens that removes him from the episode, and now the campers and counselors are trying to make Max snap out of it because unlike before, the brainwashing isn’t fading away.

This episode would revolve around the campers trying to get Max to act like himself again because he’s too nice. He’s not like, smiling all the time, at least not in a creepy way, but he isn’t frowning (which for Max is out of the ordinary.)

They try and get him to be rude to someone, or insult people, swear in every sentence, be rude to David, throw things at the camp mascot, etc. But Max can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t like being mean, he swears a regular amount of times, he likes David too much, and he cares about animals to much to hate the platypus.

I haven’t quite figured out what would make him snap out of it but I think one way I’ve come up with as a place holder is the campers being mean to him. Ignoring him, being annoyed at him, etc. This is because we have never really seen or heard Max talk about his life outside of camp besides some instances about his parents and the line he said in season 5 about not having any friends back home. So, for this placeholder reason at least, I would say that Max gets bullied, or people just don’t like him, so the campers treating him like this would spark up a feeling of deja vu and sadness that would lead to a heartfelt talk with David, and a moment of clarity where Max snaps out of the brainwashing.

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Nerris and Max centric episode-

I only have 2 story ideas revolving Nerris but god are they some of my favorites. This episode would be revolving the idea that Nerris really wants to learn magic. But, since they live in the real world, she can’t really learn it. So, she learns the closest thing to it, hypnosis.

Since it’s a new year at camp, she is ready to show off her new skill. All the campers gather at one of the tents and have a sort of sleep over. Nerris tries her first attempt of hypnosis on one of the campers by grabbing her pocket watch and doing that thing in cartoons that isn’t really how hypnosis works but hey, god in camp camps universe is an octopus so really, who cares?

She tries to hypnotize them and, it fails. She goes one by one on every camper and it fails on all of them. Max walks into the tent with snacks he’d stolen from the mess hall and Nerris, completely hopeless on it working, gives it one last shot. She tries it on Max, says the whole “When I snap my fingers you will be in a sleeping state” speech, and when she snaps her fingers, Max clocks the fuck out. Neil is able to catch him, avoiding Max a concussion

Nerris, obviously doubtful, tells Max to stop acting. She thinks he’s making fun of her, but when they see that he is not waking up or reacting, Nerris cheers in joy at it actually working. Turns out she just needed to do it on someone who was really exhausted, aka- Max.

All the campers are little shits so obviously they all start pitching in with their own ideas on what to make Max do. As they argue on who gets the say on what he does, David comes into the tent due to all the noise they are making.

They are staying up past bedtime and so David starts scolding them. Max is still passed out so the campers are trying to come up with excuses saying that they were just having so much fun but Spacekid slips up and ends up mentioning the fact that Nerris hypnotized Max.

David doesn’t believe it but his curiosity gets the best of him and he tries to wake Max up. Obviously, this doesn’t work. David is now upset because, you know his favorite camper is basically in a coma, but the campers start trying to defend themselves saying that it wasn’t there fault rather it was Nerris’s. Nerris, to avoid punishment comes up with the trade that if she’s allowed to get away with this without a punishment, she’ll make Max participate in camp activities.

Now listen, David is nice. But I also think this guy is very obsessed with loving camp activities, nature, and anything of the sort. So to finally be able to have his favorite camper actually participate in his activities, without having to beg him to. Of course David takes the exchange.

The whole episode would revolve around the campers realizing that, oh shit, max is kind of good at everything. Archery, sports, you name it.

(This is following my head canon that before his parents sent him to camp they would sign him up for stuff like piano lessons, guitar lessons, dance lessons, anything, just to not have to deal with him. They still have him in those classes but now it’s throughout the whole year, with the expectation of summer since he’s at camp.)

And the second thing that they do is take advantage of Max. Like no shit, they are 11. Obviously they are going to make him hang out with them and do their laundry and chores while he’s in the suggestive state he’s in. The episode would revolve around how to not treat people poorly and take advantage of them and also talking about the fact that the kids at camp Campbell probably get lonely at times. Sure, most people are in trios or duos but most of they don’t have another person at camp who likes D&D, or magic, or space. This episode would sort of be like the episodes in camp camp where they try to teach a lesson or something like that. Either way, I feel like this one is the most camp camp episode idea I had since it’s a chaotic and fun thing that I could probably write into an episode.

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Again, I have more ideas but they are also very long and I think you can tell from how much I’m writing that these ideas have been in my head for a WHILE. It would be nice to write these into actual fanfic and have the posted on my ao3 account but I want to know if the ideas are any good so I guess I hope these actually sounded good and not terrible 😅

[sharpth1ng]

hey again!! thank you for answering my ask, and for the clarification! i figured you probably had it all sorted out because you're a grown adult and seem to know your stuff but i still said something anyways just in case haha

i should have been more clear with my original ask but i myself still find all this stuff quite confusing so thats my bad sorry 😞 basically it has nothing to do with the labour of printing or if the company publishes it or not, it’s because fan fiction is already grey area, it’s ok when no one is making money off it. as soon as at any point someone makes any money off it, like these printing companies, or commissioning someone on etsy, or even just going somewhere local to get the pages printed, it now becomes illegal - fanworks infringe on the creator's intellectual property and you need a licencing agreement if it's not public domain etc blah blah blah you get it lol

as soon as the word "pay" comes in, it's illegal - you can't pay for anything, even if you are the one that wrote the fanfic (which fucking sucks). but your merch and stuff is completely fine because the references are based on your original writing, like theyre not gonna be like "how dare you sell this tshirt with a bloody B on it thats illegal!!" bcs that whole thing is entirely unique to your work and has no ties to the original property 👍

but thats just my understanding of it, and the specifications of it can get really confusing!! same thing happens with fanart too, technically you aren't allowed to sell fanart - that's why people often only sell it irl at cons to avoid copyright strikes. but then again there is people selling fanart on redbubble and in fanzines etc so like, i honestly don't know how that side of it works as well?? i think its under a different law since it’s a transformative work maybe...??

its all very confusing i wish clarification was more clear 😭 but you sound like you've looked into it and know what you're doing so thats fantastic, and i'm glad to hear. thank you again for answering so quickly i dont mean to be a bother. ur a talented writer and i loved debaser, keep it up 😊

Yeah no problem! I do appreciate the effort to give a heads up. And like to be fair I’ve done my research but I’m not a copyright lawyer or a legal scholar and the law on this stuff is very confusing to me.

In terms of the fanart stuff my understanding is that it is illegal to sell but for the most part fan Artist are too small for copyright holders to go after, it’s just not really a thing that’s done for the most part. There’s even a number of situations where selling fanart led to those artists being directly employed by the copyright holders. I think it’s very rare for fan artists to get sued for copy right and the only examples I know of are from Disney.

For the most part fanart sold is illegal, but it’s similar to torrenting content where its not really enforced so people do it anyways, and often at a pretty large scale. The stuff on red bubble and in fanzines is also illegal as far as I know, it doesn’t count as transformative.

Honestly I think it’s very unlikely that anyone printing my work would get targeted like that, mostly because this fandom is small and I’m even smaller. I only have a little over 1000 followers here and while that’s more followers than I’ve ever had before in my life it’s pretty much microscopic on the internet. Beyond that there’s less than a handful of printed copies as far as I’m aware.

Honeslty I have a lot of issues with copyright law- obviously it needs to apply to things like generative AI which is essentially a very environmentally damaging collage machine, but in terms of fanart and fanfiction I really don’t see how it could be construed as taking away profit from copyright holders.

People for the most part only read my work because they were already into scream, and a number of people have even told me my work got them to watch scream so if anything I’ve created profit for them. Fandom is the reason these original works have the legacy they do, and fanworks are a massive part of that because you can only consume the original content so many times before you get bored.

Beyond that we wouldn’t have some of our most highly acclaimed cultural works if copyright law had existed hundreds of years ago. Like, Shakespeare would have been fucked.

Alright lmao rant over. Tl;dr I’m doing my best to do this all in a legal way, but it’s good for folks to be aware that there may be an issue with the legality of printing my work even if they aren’t paying me. I think it’s unlikely any of you will face repercussions because this fandom is miniscule but if you’re worried maybe don’t post on Tumblr- but feel free to dm me or post in my discord 👍

[nestavadavat]

Nests "Oh god how to get my long fix actually plotted" Guide for the Damned

If you’re someone like me who’s wanted to write a long-fic but has had a really hard time this is the guide for you.

So the main problem I encountered while trying to plot out fics was that I didn't know what plot points I should meet! When we’re young y’know you’re taught the beginning-middle-end type of story structure, maybe a basic version of the hero's journey. If you don’t already know that follows the;

Exposition > Inciting Incident > Rising action > Climax > Falling action > Conclusion

Now at least for me it was kind of hard to use this for fics! Mostly because this isn’t a structure built for romances! The structure I’m showing you I found from this article which I built on! Feel free to just go wild with this structure honestly!

(PS you can also use the hero's journey as outlined by this article but I don't particularly find that layout helpful!)

So here’s your rundown! Long read ahead!

(BIG TEXT) The Hook

Meet the protagonists, give your story a theme, etc! Now because I’m adapting this for fic, you actually have less work to do here. But let's say you’re doing an AU, you need to establish to your readers what situation your characters are in! What's their everyday like, what's the new change in their life that makes your story relevant?

You’ll also want to set up your issues! Maybe you’re writing about Dean Winchester, you’ll want to establish his daddy issues to come up later. If you have a twist in mind this is where you’ll want to lay your little crumbs.

Inciting Incident

Whats changing? This is where your characters should meet properly. Now’s when you establish their dynamics.

Are they enemies at first? Maybe they’re instantly making heart eyes at each other. The article I’m basing this on says it should be about 9,500 words, but you may not want this, so generally it should probably be in the same chapter as your introduction to the character/s. Maybe have it continue into the second one. This is your setup!

Plot Point 1

Our article talks about how your characters should be “stuck” together. You can do this literally or figuratively depending on how quickly you want them together. This just means you want to give your characters a reason to be together. Maybe they’re roommates now, they’re trapped in an elevator, or they’re working together.

At this point personally I’d want to have your characters starting to be attracted to each other if they aren’t already! You want to start giving your readers those swoony type moments where they want the characters to get together! Also define what the characters want, or give hints. Do they want a relationship or are they focused on something else? (Already have in your mind whether or not they’re going to get to that goal or change their mind)

“Pinch Point” 1

Now’s when you start getting into conflict. Now this could be internal or external conflict.

Is someone keeping them apart? Is one character too afraid to go into a relationship? This is also when you maybe want their first kiss, or a semblance of something building between them. They should start falling in love/being drawn more to the other character.

Maybe they share a moment, or complete that work project, maybe they carpool home together after something! Just give them reasons to be together and reasons for that established conflict and goals to come up.

Midpoint

Boom something new just happened. Our article tells us that this can be formed in a false-high or false-low. This should be when at least one character solidly admits (even if just to themselves) that they’re in love with the other character.

A false high means that it seems like everything is going super good, trick your readers! Maybe your characters sleep together or they have a touching moment. You definitely want this route to seem like an endgame where they're all happy.

A false low means that your readers should be thinking “oh my goodness how are my blorbos supposed to come back from this”. Maybe that love confession goes poorly, or they get in a big argument, or something goes poorly with one of their goals!

“Pinch Point” 2

More problems!!! This relates back to your characters conflict you set up in the beginning. Maybe they need to make a big choice related to their goal or something from their past comes up. Maybe your characters are getting closer still but this conflict should be brewing.

Your character should be nervous about their relationship because of these conflicts. This should blend into the midpoint, so these conflicts are starting to arise during for false-high or false-low and maybe creating a strain on this newfound love.

Plot Point 2

More stakes! Your characters really can’t catch a break! This is when that thing your character was afraid of actually does happen! Maybe there's a misunderstanding, or their plans fall through. The article says that this is the moment when your character should be going “i knew better than this”.

This is when your readers should really really think that there's no way the characters can come back from this. Maybe they call it off or split up because of all this not-so-sexual tension created. The characters have to chose between wanting the relationship or being afraid (and its super heartbreaking and compelling when they chose fear btw)

The Crisis

Now your characters need to choose. Is it worth it? The answer to this for your main character is usually “yes”. This is when they should start looking for their solution to their big problems and start learning and changing. (Character arcs <33)

The Climax

Yay they got back together! Your theme has been explored, and their problems are solved/being solved. Usually this means a big gesture like a love confession, a proposal, something big and dramatic that makes your heart ache. Your readers should go feral rn!

The End

Now’s when everything gets tied together. All of your characters big plans come together. You may want to timeskip forward to show us their lives. Happily ever after and all!!!

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Thank you for reading all this! Just as some ending notes, a lot of these points probably blend into each other. Also feel free to mix these around, this was mostly a way for me to really get this into my brain so I can practice it more but I hope this also helps other people who may struggle with finding a plot structure for longer romance oriented fics!! :)))

[mochiwrites]

How do you plan your stories & arcs+ overarching plots/arcs

I love your stories. The solar/lunar ones got me so sad, and i still like it

ueueue ty!!! 🥺

these are !!!! my favorite kinds of questions to get, okay okay. this is gonna be a long post, so I'm gonna put this under a read more!! :D

so, I'm gonna split this into two sections: overarching plotline and individual arcs.

starting with overarching plotlines:

a lot of my planning for a storyline comes from throwing multiple ideas at the wall until something sticks, really fjghjdhdfjgh. I try to figure out what kind of tone I want to go with (i.e. a dark story, a light hearted story) before I put any sort of plot together. and depending on what tone I want to go for, I start thinking of my villain and what their motivations are, etc etc.

what I typically do when building say, an au like good crimes, songbird, or parrot coven, is I'll build the world up itself and figure out how each main character fits into the world. in each au I just listed I had grian, mumbo, and scar's basic backstories all figured out before a plotline came together. figuring out what my main characters roles are in the story makes it a lot easier to think of a plotline

that isn't always the case though. take my solar eclipse au for example -- that plotline came before I had any details of the world figured out. sometimes it just happens in reverse order :D

after I've got the foundation of my plot going I'll either open up a google doc and write out notes or I'll write stuff down on my ipad with my little notes app

as for how I get the overarching plotline going, it's mostly about the situations I'm putting the characters into! some situations will be more related to the plot than others, but sometimes I drop things in the unrelated situations to circle back to the main plot later :3 it's all about connecting things back to the plot

as for individual story arcs:

I don't typically use arcs for every story I write. my last life au and the double life au I co-write with @/hitheeprithee don't work in arcs. however songbird does have arcs! I'd also argue that crime au has arcs as well, but those are lot less complicated with an astounding 2 (two) arcs. but songbird has more than 3 arcs at the moment

the thing with story arcs is you have to think about what you want to accomplish in that arc. for example, we're currently in the middle of arc 2 in songbird right now. the first arc of songbird served as an introductory arc, introducing grian, mumbo, and scar, and the basics of the songbird world. this second arc we're in right now (and I have to be vague into order to avoid giving spoilers) is an important arc to scar's character mostly, and arc three will continue to expand on what arc two has started

when I do my story arcs, I focus on a few different things: how the plot is advanced in this arc, and how the characters grow within the arc. and depending on what I focus on is how I'll divide the story up into arcs :D

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

✨ 💫 🎀 💞 💌 please!

Hello anon! Do anons get notifications when their asks are answered? I hope so!

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

Oh this is a tricky one! If I’m honest, I’ll always have a soft spot for The Supreme Art of War is to Subdue the Enemy Without Fighting—despite it’s unwieldy title. It was one of the first PatPran stories I started writing though certainly not the first that I posted! It was a slow write because I had to keep pausing for research. 

Before I started writing this fic, I had very little knowledge of Thailand’s history, so I found it fascinating to uncover. When I’d originally planned a historical AU, my first thought had been to do something a little more recent, such as World War 2, but once I’d started reading about the Reunification of Siam, the more fitting it felt for PatPran.

One of my more recent fics that I was hoping would draw a bit more attention was Dumbasses and Dragons. I love a bit of high fantasy and I was hoping PatPran dragonriders would intrigue a few others too, but alas I clearly did not make it sound enticing enough.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I love to read specific parts that people enjoyed from a fic. It’s always fun to see what a particular line/scene has made an impression on a few people but also, people so often pick out completely different parts. It’s amazing to see people having such a personal connection to something you’ve written.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Ahhhh the hardest one. As a writer, I’m so used to focusing on the things I want to edit and improve on in my writing that I struggle a lot when it comes to thinking about what��s good in it. I think I have a strong attention to detail in my writing, and that I do well at getting characterisation across. I also like to think that dialogue is one of my strong points. Often when I’m writing a scene all it starts out as is dialogue and everything else gets filled in after haha.

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

The characters are always my starting point. Probably why I struggle so much with original fiction haha. All my writing is based around characters and their reactions to the base situation they’re in, so if I don’t have a strong character profile in my head, writing is almost impossible for me. That being said, I do love to have a strong structure too. It’s not always true of all my stories, but I do like when I can write a story with a particular structural symmetry.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

So I do have some fun angst coming up as a follow-up to one of the Bad Buddy Fic Exchange stories I wrote but actually I stumbled across something else the other day that I’d completely forgotten about. So a long time ago, I wrote a Bad Buddy story called A Nose Boop and the Rest is History, which is basically a short tale of Pran’s astonishing self-discipline being finally eroded away by Pat’s oblivious flirting.

Flash forward to today and I currently have two WIPs all planned out and ready to be written that follow basically along the same lines, but in different situations and with different outcomes (though all the same eventual outcome because you kno, this is PatPran after all). My eventual plan is to have all of these as part of a What If series of all the times Pran could have given into his feelings and how that would have shift their story.

Thank you for the questions!

These asks were from this post here, in case anyone reading wants to join in and reblog yourself!

[cryptidofthekeys]

Spooky Month Sona? FR this time?!?

so uh yeah here,, take him,, bc if i dont i realize im not gonna post him and it’ll get to a point where im self conscious about him fnjkdljkfdl things are always subject to change with my sona after i get stories n shit started so yeye but here’s CC

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| Name: Chase Crawford (I literally have to give any sonas a last name to differentiate them)

| Nicknames: CC, likes to be called Cryptid as well

| Gender: Trans FTM (He/Him)

| Age: N/A but an adult

| Height: 5’5”

| Species/Race: Human

| Occupation: Works wherever he can tbh

| Hair Color: Dark Brown (Spiky quiff)

| Eye Color: Gunmetal Blue

| Skin Color/Body Type: Extremely pale and also he’s fat

| Appearance: His main outfit is an oversized dark purple hoodie with a design of a single lavender dahlia on the front of it (the sleeves are lil bat-like wings when spread out) (the flower- okay ONE of the flower’s meanings is literally it means ‘Good taste’ no I’m not sorry for this one hah but also aside from the joke.

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Dahlias symbolize beauty, commitment, and kindness), he has black pants that match with three chains hanging down and they look distressed and a lil ripped up, some of the way bigger holes are patched up with purple patches (all he had on hand and he loved the aesthetic of it)

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And finally purple sneakers to match with his hoodie n such as that, he has some black gauges in his ears (they are magnetic ones lmao), he has dark circles under his eyes but he promises its fine, his eyes are just like that- Other than that he has a black binder he usually wears underneath and forgets to take off a LOT, he also has a circle beard.

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| Personality: CC is very sweet, kind, caring, he loves to help others out and sometimes pushes himself to the limit with it but w-we don’t need to get into that, he’s got anxieties n shit like that, basically got whatever the fuck is wrong with me buried deep in him I mean he IS a sona after all.

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He can be very oblivious until something is directly in his face essentially so he can get put in some particularly troubling situations, he really needs to pay more attention and read the room from time to time imma be honest, tries to see the good in everyone but he does have his limits, very protective of the ones he cares about, hates his parents which is a given bc they are horrible. He’s very chill most of the time, just overall sleepy and tired looking.

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I’m not lying when I say oblivious btw, like it legit- he has to s e e it with his own eyes because most of the time he’s dumb,, just like- he could see a fucking wanted poster of someone and be like …Oh, maybe they just look similar (v much not like my deltarune sona, this one is just a big ol dummy)

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…He DOES have dumb luck on his side though thankfully, so even with troubling situations, the universe just be saving his ass one step at a time. Which its funny because you’d think with all the horror movies n media he’s consumed it’d teach him a thing or to but it really doesn’t, he just out here living life, blissfully unaware of the danger he’s been in multiple times.

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He can also be a chaotic feral lil gremlin once you get past the social anxiety.

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| Side Facts: He’s REALLY into horror, he calls himself a ‘horror junkie’ even, has lots of horror merch in his home, movies, books, figures, etc- He’s just big into horror lmao, he loves to write a lot, you can find him on his computer a lot just writing some fics here and there (dw it’s not all horror …Although he has a LOT of horror fics he’s posted)

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When he’s not working he’s usually chilling at home, playing video games, writing, or listening to music, or hell just watching movies even. He does like to stay at home a lot as he’s very introverted but when he does go out it’s usually at night, he just prefers the night air, does he know its dangerous? Eh, who knows- He’ll usually have headphones on and playing music while he takes a fun lil stroll, blissfully unaware of his surroundings.

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Despite liking horror n shit like that, genuinely super sweet and friendly, is very much a pacifist unless you hurt his friends and then he can get pretty aggressive, a ray of sunshine if you will unless provoked.

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Cryptid lives in the middle of the town, his house is nothing too fancy really, just what he could afford, it’s painted purple and black though to match his aesthetic.

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Likewise, back to how I said he goes out at night completely unarmed and unprepared in general, headphones on so he couldn’t hear if someone was sneaking up on him, and you already know who the three I’m selfshipping him with are (ooh bold of me to mention selfshipping on my main, im getting more confident everyday) with but bc I wanna write their interaction later, none of them have met yet.

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Also usually listens to a lot of hard rock/heavy metal lmao, and sometimes just,, boom, goat simulator music.

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Plays the acoustic guitar in his spare time but seems self conscious when playing around others.

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Has three dogs, a brown Chihuahua named Tootsie Roll, a black and white Shih Tzu named Cash, and then finally he has a Chinese Crested he rescued off the street named ‘Winnie the Pooch’ calls him ‘Win/Winnie/Win-Win’ for short though, also sometimes calls Cash ‘Cashy’

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And calls the Chihuahua ‘my little tootsie roll’ he loves all of them, aside from being overprotective of his friends n such like that, honestly he WILL get violent to protect his lil babies especially, you try to hurt them or anything he WILL fuck you up.

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Also refers to the trio as ‘My little stinkers’ calls them stinky, crusty, etc a lot but it's very clear he loves and cherishes them, Tootsie is 4 years old, Winnie is 13 or that’s what the vet told him he looked to be about, and then finally Cash is 1 year old.

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I think one of the biggest differences in him is like,, despite being oblivious unlike my DR sona who knows like oof yikes this is dangerous,, i needa get the fuck outta here- this one is just a dumbass,, he looks at these three bastards and goes …oh shit they’re hot- im gay like BITCH THEY ARE MURDERERS, KIDNAPPERS, AND OR CANNIBALS- …as long as they don’t hurt his frens OR his dogs tho its aight

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Also,, CC’s Pansexual for the final tidbit.

[lockewrites]

New Character Intro!

Rheanon

Rheanon came from a simple life; her mother worked in medicine, her father in engineering, neither of them high up in their career fields but making enough to survive, not lavishly but comfortably. She has a younger brother who joined the military, following in their grandfather's footsteps. Rhea herself inherited her parents' smarts, but she had difficulty deciding what to do with them; she now spends her life trying to figure out what to make of it.

Time means little to her, and the world seems to wait for her to take action when she's ready. Her moral compass swings wildly to and fro, almost as if to fit any situation she's in. And every divine being has their eye on her, whether benign or malicious in nature, despite her simple origins. It seems she's destined for greatness, one way or another.

Rheanon is ultimately intended to be everywhere at once, across all universes and timelines. Her purpose is to give me someone to write alongside any canon character or questline or faction. Each ficlet of hers can be assumed to exist in its own verse, and she'll make an appearance across various fandoms. Tldr; she's basically my dedicated "What-If" character for exploratory and self-indulgent reasons.

For fandoms with various origins (i.e. Dragon Age: Origins), she'll be thrown into all the ones I enjoy; for ones with different classes, the same approach will be taken. For fandoms where a last name isn’t given, it will default to “Vydra.”

AO3 Series Page

If there's a situation or pairing you'd like to see Rheanon in, send it my way and I'll see if I can make it work! Nearly any fandom you see me reblog for over at @alxxiis​ is open for request! 

For specific ideas (and ones I’ll be more likely to accept), check out the spreadsheet I’ve made for various fandoms, NPCs, pairings, origins, etc. This will be updated as I come up with more ideas, and this is not an exclusionary list! If there's someone or something you want to see that's not on the list, send it and I'll give it a shot!

The Paths of Rhea

[qllie]

people who are like "we need to teach x in school we need to teach y in school" bother me because I think it's kinda missing the point of the problem...

like I've seen stuff that's like "americans can't name all fifty states/most countries" you know, stuff like that. And I don't think adding "memorize this list of countries" will help students to become more globally aware? because I had to memorize countries in like 7th grade and I aced that test. But now I don't remember most of them. SOOO like my point is school giving you a massive list of stuff to memorize just isn't gonna be all that helpful for most people. Like there are better ways to teach "global awareness" than memorizing a bunch of countries, since a list of countries doesn't really tell you much anyways... (I mean it's important to know where places are to situate them in current/historical events. but like just knowing names doesn't make you "globally aware" you know)

Also stuff like "media literacy, critical thinking, etc" I think is already being attempted to be taught in schools? you can argue about whether it's being taught well, but to say it's simply not there is not true. Like stuff like history and English (composition/literature) generally attempt to teach some form of critical thinking/media literacy. I think my problem with those kinds of posts is they want there to be some kind of "critical thinking" class and like. That's not really how it works? like critical thinking is a skill you learn to apply, it's not like math where it's like "2+2=4, triangles have 180 degrees, etc" like these skills are not just "here's how to critically think boom done."

Okay also another thing I've heard (from people at my school) is stuff like "high school didn't teach me how to write in this specific format we're writing in now nothing I learned is useful." And like okay maybe your school really did suck idk. But like high school isn't aiming to teach you every single type of writing you will be doing in your career (they can't do this since like there are people who are gonna be doing wildly different kinds of writing). It's more about giving you tools that you can apply to what you're writing later!!!! like for example no one ever will ask you to write a five paragraph essay after high school. But like transitions, learning to research, knowing how to outline, forming arguments, etc etc ARE gonna be helpful!!!!

Like basically I think a lot of the "school didn't teach me this" want school to just be like. A list of every single task you will have to perform and exactly how to do it. And like school cannot do that, partially because it'd be boring as hell (and you would remember 0 of it), and also because that's way too much shit to do. I think the point is more to set you up with the skills to figure out how to do things.... you know? And you can argue it's not doing well at that (yes schools are flawed in several ways)...

like okay for example "schools should teach us how to do our taxes!!!!" (people said this at my high school. which had a personal finances elective. which would teach exactly that). Is kind of a bad idea? In some ways I mean teaching students to be familiar with tax forms is good, but they're not gonna be able to definitely tell you how to do your taxes forever... like as your life changes (eg: job, income, disability, family, injury, on and on) your taxes are gonna be done differently. And also if I'm a 10th grader learning about taxes no way in hell I'll remember all of that (or even most of it). Like I think it would be good if schools familiarized students with tax forms (actually) but it's not gonna be able to tell you "do this this and this every time done yay!" like I think it's more about teaching you "here's where to find more info on how to do this" or "here's kind of what you can expect from forms like these"

[schtorytime]

I'm giving myself some little at home literary workshops (thoughtful rambling about my own writing under the cut, idk)

I dunno if anyone else feels this way, but I think writing in a fandom that - and no shade here, I'm just being objective - has a pretty low bar in terms of fic quality has made me a little bit complacent or given me this false idea that I'm a better writer than I am. Not that I thought I was the best writer in the world to begin with or anything, but I think regularly sifting through the piles of steaming garbage that makes up such a huge portion of the tags on ao3 (and this might be a mcyt thing in general, or it might be because I only read one ship and said ship is in fucking dire straits, idk) has made me feel a little too comfortable or something. Recently I've discovered a few authors that are like - genuinely good at the craft, and I've realised like... holy shit. I am so MEDIOCRE LMFAO. And I don't mean it in an emo oh I'm never writing again woe is me kinda way, that's not really my style; it's in an 'i'm inspired to improve' kind of way. Like sure, I can write in the basic sense. I can create an idea and see it through and get the basic point across; I feel very confident in punctuation and grammar etc. I feel very very at home in writing dialogue that shit comes as easy as breathing. Characterization also comes super easy to me; I find it easy to grasp what a character is about and the way they think and how to predict what they would do or say in any given situation, but everything else outside of those two things?! Mid. Just so painfully mid. My description skills are so flimsy, symbolism and metaphor are virtually foreign concepts to me - I feel like I write really *simply*, and I think the stuff I do write is good! Like it's good in the simplest form, it is, but it's still just... *simple*, and that frustrates me. I know it's enjoyable, I know it's *nice*. But I don't want it to just be nice!! I want people to walk away from my work like, awestruck. I want people to be so immersed and taken back in the same way that I feel reading some of the stuff I have in the last few months. I think I'm in this weird place where I realize I have potential and I have some of the tools and ingredients to *get there* at some point in the future if I really work on it, but I'm also a little lost I'm like how the fuck do you get from point A to point B. I'm such a 'I want a clear route cut out for me and explained to me' kinda person so when I'm left floundering to figure out how to improve by myself I'm like ... where the hell do I start. I wish I'd read more growing up (I did a little as a kid but then by my early teens I'd basically stopped) - I think I'd probably be further along if I had. Kicking my younger self, stupid boy. I dunno I dunno, I'm very inspired I feel restless. I know the answer is just practice but I want to be there NOW D:< I've been doing a little studying and reading some stuff and just thinking how the fuck did you come up with that what the fuck. I just feel like I write so simply, I dunno how else to explain it. I do too much telling and not enough showing and I probably over explain things the same way I do in real life speaking (anxiety havers rise up) but I also write from characters perspectives that I think would also do that, so I don't wanna tip it too far away from that and make it feel unnatural somehow, but I also don't want it to be so BASIC I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore I'm just frustrated but almost in a good way. I think you have to feel that way to make any actual improvements. Hmmmmmmmmm.

It's like in my head I think and see in images and movie scenes and I THINK?? (Maybe I'm a narcissist) that those images and movies are fucking genius, like I'm a genius in my brain, but when you hand me some sort of writing device and ask me to get those movies in my head on to paper???? I plop my ass on the floor and start drawing nonsensically on the walls like a toddler. Okay maybe it's not that bad, but in *comparison* to the stuff in my head - it is. Source : just trust me guys It's weird being very self aware but struggling to know what to do about it. Hmm. Idk, idk. Ignore my ass. HMMMM. Much to think about..

[hackshaw-d]

By the way, the most important thing is the yes-and/no-but rule. What I'm describing in the post is how to get the information you need to enact the yes-and/no-but. Basically, you analyze the characters, the other person's reply, the situation, your character's point of view, all of that. Once you've analyzed that in some manner and gathered information about the thing, you have probably figured out things to say that provide enough for your writing partner to reply to.

You're basically observing what the other character is doing, feeling, etc. and what your writing partner is suggesting or offering or tossing at you as a "question" and then providing an "answer" and a follow-up "question" with commentary. The background info, the dialogue, the stuff between the lines of the dialogue, the context — all of that is there for your character to receive and react to. You in your reply will most likely be writing a response to the dialogue and immediate actions, but you can add comparisons between the two characters in the narration, you can add observations your character is making, thoughts they're having but not voicing, things happening around them.

The idea is to accept or reject what your writing partner has offered and to add something else to reinforce or alter it. You can use this technique to keep real life conversations going, by the way; it works beautifully. Instead of:

Character A: Hello, how are you?

Character B: Fine, you?

You'd want to have the conversation be something more like:

Character A: Hello, how are you?

Character B: Y'know, I'm not feeling great. There's been a lot of rain lately and I haven't been able to work on my garden. I had really been looking forward to that, this was my week off. What have you been up to?

Character A has asked how B is, and in the first version, the answer is basically "no." In the second version, the answer is "no, and, but." Character B has answered the immediate question (no, they're not really feeling great), offered what has brought them down, and returned the question to the other character to demonstrate interest.

You can write something where Character B has no interest in continuing the conversation while still giving the writer something to write from, but in rp I think it's not as common because the whole point is the characters are, in fact, going to keep interacting. So for an rp reply, rejection could be the first example, the information from the second but written in the narrative instead of dialogue, and then provide a reason why these two are stuck together, so even though Character B was basically shutting A out, A has the opportunity to hound B for interaction and B presumably will yield eventually so the rp thread can continue.

After Character A asked the question, Character B huffed, rolling their eyes. They were not in the mood to sit and chat, and especially not with Character A. Why was A always so chipper? Was A physically incapable of feeling anything but joy? Awful. Character B wanted the earth to open up and swallow them. Maybe then they wouldn't have to deal with Character A.

"Fine," B answered through gritted teeth. But B was not fine. It had been B's week off, a long sought-after vacation after months of grueling, soul-sucking work, and B had been looking forward to working on their garden. The garden was B's baby, tended to carefully and with love. It was full of sunflowers and roses, and it looked like a sunset. Bees would constantly visit to pollinate and Character B wanted to add more flowers plus a beehive to house the bees. That way, they would have safe housing.

Unfortunately, B's plans had not panned out. It had been pouring all week, and even today the rain did not seem to let up. A and B both were stuck at that Walmart with its blue-and-white color scheme and the artificial lighting that made B feel more like an insect examined than a valued customer. B's car was parked all the way at the end of the lot and B was not interested in getting soaked. It had been bad enough when arriving that even the umbrella didn't seem to help much, and now, with a cart? No way. No way in hell.

So, as in the post I'm reblogging from, we've analyzed Character A and what they're like, what they're asking, what they're doing, etc. and noted that in our reply (colored purple). It's important but kept to a minimum, because the idea is showing B's side of the situation. So then, we've provided B's immediate reply (red) and analysis on B to go with that (blue). In pink, the reasoning for why these characters are stuck together against B's will. We even have (bold blue) how B feels about being stuck there, too.

In doing this, B is closed off but we have still asked A's writer a question. A's writer, according to their character, will likely have A insist on conversation (they're eager and chipper, remember). They may also wish to add reasoning for why A behaves this way, answer why A is also stuck (maybe A doesn't care about rain but chooses to stick around anyway), insight on what A's week and plans have been like with the rain, etc. Character A could even proposition they make a run for it anyway, and drag B along on their crazy plans. Maybe A has something important they want to talk about with B. The idea is we've given A's writer a springboard from which to voice that.

Also, see how it became three paragraphs from a single line of dialogue A said? This is how and why novella replies are that long. You just yes-and/no-but in enough detail that the reply winds up being long. If you prefer writing something shorter, you can summarize the three paragraphs and provide only highlights. Just be careful not to cut away the springboard while doing that. Remember A's writer likes your character and wants to know more about them. Give them that, they'll do the same for you!

Happy writing 💜

How to write better replies (aka why I unintentionally write so damn much)

Writing this post because I keep seeing posts on this topic, and I figured that, as someone with 10+ years experience roleplaying and about half of them spent writing novella threads, I could offer a glimpse into my writing process in case it helps anyone. The approach I'm about to describe is not one I've really seen talked about before but it does a good job of summarizing everything else I've seen people recommend in a way that (at least to me) seems to make more sense.

It's simple: instead of focusing on a checklist of what to write about and describe, what not to focus on, or whatever else, I like to instead do one thing: character analysis. More specifically:

Analyze their character.

Analyze your character.

Analyze how the two interact.

If you do that, all the rest tends to fall into place. An explanation below.

Analyze their character

I chose to list this as the first step because most of the time, you're reading someone else's reply and that means that there's information about their character that you wanna take a moment to absorb. This is probably one of the most important things because it informs what your character is observing and it informs how the two (or three, or more!) interact with each other.

Before writing anything at all, I like to take a moment to think about what my writing partner's character is doing. What are they saying? What is their demeanor? Are they using body language that my character would notice? What information is provided by the narrative that colors what is actually observable by my character? How does that affect the way they're speaking, the way they're carrying their body, the way they take in whatever information my previous reply contained?

Your writing partner is, above all else, telling you a story about their character. They're showing you this person they've crafted and they're giving you information about that person, about what motivates them and what is challenging to them. Take a moment to listen to that story and really understand it, just like you would listen to your best friend and try to understand what they're saying and what they're not saying. Their character is doing much more than just answering dialogue and moving objects and reacting to yours. What is their character actually experiencing? First, make sure you understand that.

Analyze your character

This one can be tempting to rush through because you already (hopefully!) know your character well, but hear me out. Right now, we're pondering how your character perceives the situation. What are they feeling? What motivates them? What makes them uncomfortable? Has your writing partner's reply just tossed them into a challenge they weren't expecting? How do they react to that? This is beyond what the other character is doing, and it's not about what your character's "answer" to the other character's dialogue "question" is, so to speak. Not yet. This is about understanding your character's mindset in the moment and placing yourself in their shoes. You're trying to determine what factors are playing into your character's eventual response to what's going on.

For context, although this is the "easiest", it's also the one that takes me the longest to do. When people say they have no muse for a thread, I think this is the step they're usually stuck on. You want to situate yourself, as your character and from their point of view, into the situation and take it all in. We want to know what the character's observations are about the situation, what their immediate impressions are, what their more nuanced takes are after the immediate impression, and in general, information that tells us who they are. Consider a bank robbery: Batman's mindset when observing the scene take place is not the same as, say, the Joker's. This is even before either of them have done anything to react to the scene. So, before the moment they react, what's going on in their mind and in their spirit?

Analyze how the two interact

Now we have the part where you craft the reply. I often ponder this one a lot before typing it out, but other times, I ponder as I type and then I revise. By now, I understand the other character, and I understand how my character feels about the situation. I'm instead thinking about the story that I want to tell my writing partner about this.

Knowing and understanding my character's history, biases, impressions, impulses, etc., what would that person say or do, or not say or not do, in this situation? How does my character hear the other character's words? How does my character interpret the other character's actions? What information do they notice? What information have they missed? Has something distracted them? Is something in the environment making them act a certain way? What does the muse say when they're speaking to me about this situation? How have they been affected by what the other writer's reply contains?

It's especially useful to make use of comparison and insight in this moment. You've been given information about the other character. How does this relate to your character? What is different about yours? What is similar? What unspoken thoughts and feelings does your character have that would, if known by the other character, spark a reaction of some kind, a different understanding, a judgement, surprise, lack of surprise, satisfaction, distrust, etc.? Why is your character doing what they're doing and saying what they're saying? (You don't have to write out the full explanation, and I often withhold the subtleties if it doesn't seem especially relevant, but it's important to know the answer to this question regardless.) How is the other muse making them feel?

What is the story you two are telling together? What is the story we want the audience to take from this? When you tell your partner the story about your character's response to that reply you just received, what is the invitation that you're extending to them in the collaboration? At its core, roleplaying is about writing a story together — this step is you grasping that story and then writing it down.

Demystifying novella replies

I know, they can be intimidating, especially if you've never done one before. There is, however, a basic pattern that novella replies generally seem to follow, and it's really just riffing on what I have described above (which, after all, is how I even learned the above as a technique for writing). A novella thread might follow a structure like this:

Original post: This post is a situation proposal, and let's assume you're the one writing it. Whether agreed-upon in advance or not, this post puts the characters in a situation, framing the setting, the context, how your character got there at all, and an idea (often in dialogue) for their character to interact with and respond to.

First reply: Context for how their character got to this situation you've proposed, analysis of what they've observed about your character, especially based on the proposed idea to respond to. They might actually reply to that, or they might propose a different one. This depends on the character usually. There's also information about how their character feels about the situation, and that in conjunction with what you've written in the OP sets the tone for the thread, at least for now.

Second and subsequent replies: Now that the setting has been fully established, we go into the back-and-forth portion that has normal story flow. Usually either from the first reply or this second reply, what is initially a short OP can explode in length with all the insight that is being provided. Ultimately, though, it's just that: insight. We're analyzing their character, our character, and how they interact; they're doing the same but flipping the characters. Don't be intimidated by the length! Think of it as observations on the characters, the same way people will write tumblr post essays about TV/book/movie characters based on a single line said in a particular scene. You're doing that, and the person you're roleplaying with is engaging with that and doing the same for you to engage with.

If I'm writing one of my novella replies for my 1x1 rp and I'm unsure about the full interaction but I do have a chunk I've already mentally composed, I'll usually draft it based on the structure of the thing I'm replying to, so my draft will list out in bullet points what is happening in what I'm replying to, then there's a bullet or two with the bit I have composed and know I want to write around, and then some notes about impressions my character has about the situation. I'll then remove whatever isn't actionable on my part and flesh out what remains, based on the approach I've described in this guide. I don't think about the length of what I'm writing; that happens naturally based on how detailed (or not) I want to be in conveying the information I've gathered from my analysis.

I also wanna point out that I've called it analysis here, but it really is much less structured than that in practice. I'm not sitting down with a notebook writing a book report, I'm just experiencing the story and engaging with it. I do it semi-automatically because it's fun, and that's the most important thing. This should not be a chore, nor should it feel like a chore. It should, above all else, be enjoyable to you and your writing partner. The kind of analysis I'm describing can look different when done by different people, so I chose to keep it general in explanation. I wanna note, too, that a lot of these analyses tend to be exactly what ooc conversations revolve around, when it pertains to discussing characters and threads. "I loved when the muse did X" and "I wanna say that this muse's motivation is Y and it's really important that your muse did Z because it plays in such an interesting way with Y" is precisely the kind of analysis I mean. You're already doing it, you just need to be aware of it.

I wanted to include an example from my own rp replies but I can't decide which thread to use. A good amount of them have potentially-triggering content and I wanted to keep this trigger-free. I might edit or reblog this post later on if I eventually pick something to use as an example, though.

[missmentelle]

Tips for Living With ADHD (From Someone Who Actually Has It)

There is a lot of advice floating around online for how to manage the symptoms of ADHD. 

Most of it is bad. 

A lot of the advice available for coping with ADHD has been written by people who don’t actually have it. Much of it is either aimed at parents raising ADHD children, or it simply amounts to “just try harder and figure out how to remember things better”. It’s hard for people who don’t have ADHD to understand that there’s more to it than “being easily distracted”, and the advice they give for managing the disorder is sometimes woefully out of touch. 

Luckily, I have ADHD, and I’ve had to deal with it all my life. ADHD has not prevented me from getting a master’s degree, writing a novel, keeping my apartment clean or advancing in my career, because I’ve figured out some coping strategies like:

Train yourself to do the “keys, phone, wallet” dance. Misplacing things sucks, and it happens a lot with ADHD. To keep at least the important things from going missing, I have taught myself to physically tap my keys, wallet and phone before I leave any location. Getting into this habit took a few weeks, but now it’s muscle memory - and it’s saved me a lot of headaches over the years. 

Start a Bullet Journal or find a good day planner. My bullet journal is my life. For those of you who aren’t familiar with them, bullet journals are basically grid notebooks written with a special system that lets you quickly keep track of and organize all the things you need to remember. Their customizability lets you organize things in a way that makes sense to your brain (and there’s no need to make them as fancy as the ones on Instagram). Plus, the fact that it’s not an app or online tool helps me avoid distraction.

Do a daily 15-minute sweep of your apartment. Household chores can quickly get away from you, until your apartment is so overwhelmingly gross that you don’t even know where to start. Keep things to a dull roar with a fifteen-minute daily sweep - bag up garbage, move the dishes to the kitchen, throw laundry into a hamper, wipe up obvious spills. When your space is less overwhelming, it’s easier to tackle bigger chores when you need to. 

Set reminders to reply to emails and messages. If I don’t answer a message immediately, under normal circumstances, there’s a 50/50 chance I’ll never remember to answer it. If I know I need to reply to a message, I’ll set a quick reminder in my phone to respond - Siri can set reminders for me instantly, and it helps a lot with communication. 

Prioritize tasks and do the most important ones first. My brain has a limited ability to concentrate on tasks that I’m not hyper-fixated on. Attention is a finite resource for me - once I start to get tired or burnt out, the odds of me completing a task I’m not interested in drops to almost nothing. Order your tasks by importance, not difficulty; sometimes I’m only able to do 1-2 very simple things in a day, and it’s important to make sure those are the things that most needed to get done. 

Use the Pomodoro method for getting things done. I need pressure and deadlines to get things done, which is sort of difficult to replicate after college - the only person who cares if I work on my art or write a novel is me. So I use the Pomodoro method - this is basically where you set a timer for 25 minutes, work until it goes off, set a time for 5 minutes, relax until it goes off, and so on. There are even apps like “Focus To-Do” that automatically use Pomodoro timers and can even track how many you do on each task per day. 

Put reminders of daily tasks in places where you can see them. I have several houseplants, and the only reason those houseplants are alive is because they have brightly-coloured sticky notes on them that say WATER ME EVERY FRIDAY. Putting up visual reminders might seem tacky or childish, but if that’s what works for you, then that’s what you need to do. Putting a chore chart for yourself on the fridge is way less embarrassing than getting a pest problem because you lost track of chores. 

Tackle chores and cleaning in stages. Deep-cleaning my whole apartment in one day is simply not going to happen. It’s just not. So when it’s time to deep-clean, I spread it out in stages - one day is the day to tackle the fridge, the next day is the bathrooms, the day after that is closet organization, etc. Breaking things into manageable chunks is how I’ve tackled everything from my graduate thesis to moving - I accept that I need to spread big tasks out across more days than other people do, and adapt accordingly. 

Audiobooks and podcasts are your friend. If I’m doing a task that doesn’t require a lot of concentration - like mopping, or dishes, or walking the dog - my mind wanders... and it often wanders to another task I could be doing, causing me to abandon what I’m working on. I’ve found that the best way to prevent that is to keep my mind occupied. Throwing on some headphones and listening to an audiobook (which I rent from the Libby app for free!) has been a win-win situation for me; it helps me stay on-task, and it helps me reach my reading goal every year. 

ADHD can make it difficult to thrive in a world that wasn’t built for our brains. But when you find the right strategies, it’s possible to accomplish your dreams and navigate the world in your own way. 

[guns-in-the-desert]

Germany NSFW A-Z

I’m super excited to post this, I worked hella hard, so here it is.

A= Aftercare

   He’s not the best at it, as being soft and comforting isn’t in his nature. It takes him a while to get good at it, and when he does, it’s super routine, almost robotic (let’s be honest, he made a checklist.). Step 1. Ask if  you're alright, Step 2. Wipe you down, and so on and so forth.

B= Body Part

  Not to be basic but, your boobs are hands down his favorite part of your body, he loves to squeeze them, even when y’all aren’t fucking, he’ll play with them without even realizing, bonus points if you have sensitive nipples. On him he really likes his arms, he likes how they look around your waist, and how easily he can pick you up.

C= Cum

  Ludwig is a Super neat person, so he likes a quick and easy clean up. He likes to nut inside you/a condom or in your mouth, not only does he think it’s hella hot, but also there's little to no mess, it’s 10/10 for him.

D= Dirty secret

  He would die before telling anyone this, but he steals your panties, not that you don't know, he’s quite bad at returning them, so you notice them missing. He really wants to stop, but he just thinks it’s so hot, and they remind him of the different times you've done it, for example: You wore that pink velvet thong the first time he tied you up. P.S they're not always clean when he takes them, at this point don’t even let him do laundry

E= Experience

  He’s not as experienced as you might think, he’s quite awkward actually. He’s done it a few times, but he still can’t can’t look at your bare body without blushing, watches HELLA porn though , but don’t expect him to admit it.

F= Favorite Position

  He absolutely LOVES fucking you against the wall, you would never know it, but he’s kind of a show off. This position shows off his strength (and his biceps), plus he gets to feel your tits against him, it’s a win win situation for him.

G= Goofy (is he more serious or goofy in bed)

 This man ain’t even goofy in day to day life, like, at all. Y’all know damn well he did not come to play any kind of games with you, I wish you would try and crack a joke while his dick is out.

H= Hair

  He's neat, he trims regularly, he's well maintained and well groomed, would never shave it completely off (he gets cold) because it makes him feel less manly

I= Intimacy

  He’s not goofy, also not very intimate, he’s quite aggressive, being gentle isn’t in his nature, not that he’s trying to be during sex, like italy said in the show “he’s like some sort of super sadist.”.

J= Jack off

  He jacks off, a lot, don't ask him though, he’d practically deny knowing what masturbating is, claims it’s “DISGUSTANG”, despite literally getting porn for christmas. You've caught him in compromising positions multiple times, still denies ever doing though.

K= Kink

  “He's like some sort of super sadist.” Italy said it best will literally rock your shit for the hell of it. Flogging, spit, bondage, the whole nine yards, know s, almost no limits, will he slap you across your face and call you a whore? Yes. Will he choke you until your face turns blue? Yes. Will he tie you with a vibrator and leave you for hours? Definitely. Will he make you walk on a leash and sleep in a dog bed? Absolutely. Can he look at your tits, without blushing? Of course not, what are you, fuckin crazy?

L= Location

  The bed, he does NOT want to even risk getting caught, he’d be WAY too embarrassed. He decided to get frisky in the living room once, and Gil walked in. He didn’t fuck you for a week and he didn’t talk to his brother for a month, partially because Gilbert’s and asshole and takes every oppurtunity he has to bully his younger brother, partially due to embarrassment. 

M= Motivation

  Almost everything, surprisingly, he’s actually a pretty horny dude, but if you really wanna get him going, beg, he loves to see you beg, you could also crawl around on the floor in low cut top, and skirt in front of him, but don’t be surprised if you get a collar the next day.

N= No

  Will not, and I mean NEVER ever even consider sharing you under any circumstances. He doesn't care how much you beg and plead. Why would you want somebody else with y’all is there something he’s doing wrong, ask him again, I dare you, you'll get your ass beat, I mean it, in the hottest way possible of course.

O= Oral

  Ludwig prefers receiving, and even though you’re doing the sucking, he’s doing the work. Really rough, so don't be surprised if cum is coming out of your nose by the end of it. When it comes to giving, my guy had a stiff ass tongue at first, like he licked your pussy mad hard, he figured it out eventually, thank god.

P= Pace

  Surprise surprise, he’s mad rough, but does find a pace and a rhythm quite quickly, which is a really good trait not many people have (I assume) it’s easy to get into, which is always pleasant. It goes very smoothly.

Q= Quickies 

  Not the biggest fan of quickies but he’ll do them nonetheless, they just aren’t his favorite, he’d pick it over masturbation, not that he does that of course, your always a better option with his hand.

R= Risk

  He takes risks in the sense that he likes to experiment with new toys, kinks, roleplays, etc. not with location though, he sticks to the bedroom and the shower exclusively, and he's even iffy about that.

S= Stamina

  This man spent a decent chunk of the show running, so he can and will go for hours. It's kind of insane. 

T= Toys

  Yes, of course, ropes, vibrators, flogs, you name it, he's got it, it’s as simple as that.

U= Unfair

  While foreplay lasts for quite a while, he isn’t much of a tease. With the exception of the occasional orgasm denial, he’s pretty straight to the point. He doesn't see a reason to drag things out when it’s not necessary. Like if you're  getting flogged, you're getting flogged, there's no if, ands, or buts, he doesn't have time for talking or teasing.

V= Volume

  He sucks at dirty talk, so he lets his actions do all the talking. Doesn't really make noise during sex, there’s the occasional grunt, but even thats rare

W= Wild Card

  So I mentioned before that you caught him in compromising positions in the past, the first time this happened was an absolute disaster. You had walked in to ask him what he wanted for dinner, he looked like a deer in headlights. You asked him what he was doing and his response was “I lost my turtle.” I don't know what part of him thought he would believe because; 1) He doesn't own a turtle, 2) he somehow lost it in his dick? So for this to make sense, he would have had to go and buy a turtle, have it near his penis for whatever reason, proceed to forget about said turtle, and after all that it still would explain how a turtle would fit into anyway, like I know you have foreskin, but, damn. So you ask him if he was masterbating, which obviously ended like this “NEIN, THAT’S DISGUSTING!” 

X= X-Ray

  Big dick,  more girthy than it is long, but it still has quite a bit of length, has the slightest curve, and a vein along the underside, he’s uncut. Wait till you see this man in grey sweatpants.

Y= Yearningh  In the top 10 for characters with the highest sex drive, He’s number seven on the list. Which says more about the people above him than it says about him, himself.

Z= ZZZ (How quickly does he fall asleep after?)

  Either he’s out immediately, or  he gets up and does work, there is ZERO in between with this man, I really don’t know what to tell y’all.

I really hope y’all enjoyed, I don’t have any WIPs as of right now. So, I write when I get ideas until I get more requests. See y’all in the next one. Bye for now

[swaps55]

⭐

this one time, I ended up accidentally leaving a 3k word comment of praise on one of your fics, obviously not meaning for it to get so long. I'd LOVE to hear about a section - of LITERALLY ANYTHING - you've been dying to talk about!

I have never had a comment that is too long or too short - you are incredible and I love you.

OH OH, can I talk about Sharjila? I’m gonna talk about Sharjila, which is the Cantata chapter called “The Things We’ve Done.”

Sharjila started with this:

“I want to maroon Sam and Kaidan on a planet when one of them is injured and they have to survive.”

So, I did some planet codex hunting to find a suitably dangerous place to maroon them, and figured ME1 planets with hazard warnings were a good place to start. Sharjila jumped out pretty quickly because it had a pressure warning, which sounded fun (for me, at least).

I talked to Real Life Romance Option about what I could do with that – what kind of injury I could come up with, what complications I could throw at them with the environment, etc., and felt pretty good that I had a solid basis to work with.   

Now, I am primarily a pantser. I do some basic outlining that gives me milestones, or goals I want to work towards. But when I sit down to write something, nine times out of ten, I just start typing and see what happens.  

So I started writing the opening paragraphs in medias-res, without a real plan for how they got in this situation. And I noticed very quickly there wasn’t just tension over surviving, there was tension between them. They were pissed at each other. But I didn’t know why. Whatever happened on the mission that got them to this point, they were really unhappy with each other about it.

I couldn’t figure it out. I started writing scenes that stepped back in time to before The Incident, hoping that if I cut back and forth between the present and the past, maybe something would materialize, but I am here to tell you it did not. I tried a few things that tied back to Torfan, but nothing worked.

So I got frustrated, decided, fuck it, I’ll write some prompts, and accidentally wrote Sonata instead. Ironically, Sonata ended up handing me the answer to why they were pissed at each other on a silver platter. When I finally got back to Cantata, finally started writing it with a better idea of how I wanted the overall story to work, and finally got back to Sharjila, I for the most part had a plan, and the plan worked.

Cantata got my entire heart and soul when I wrote it, but no piece more than this one. I worked so hard to pull this story off, and it took the help of so many people. I am incredibly proud of it.

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"