#I had been going to this place for community service since age 16 so they knew me and would still sign off on my papers even when I

[angelnumber27]

One time I was doing court mandated community service and this woman said “you look like Lindsay Lohan!” And I said thank you and she literally said “don’t say thank you, SHES A DRUG ADDICT”

[rorywritesjunk]

Let’s be one another’s present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: R. Warning: Upset Cupcake. Concerned Buggy. They have ✨communication problems✨. Family reunion. Word Count: 2,113 A/N: More communication hiccups. It just happens.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 + Chapter 14 + Chapter 15 (NC-17) + Chapter 16 (NC-17) + Chapter 17

TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby@fluffybunnyu@sinning-23@the-angriest-angel@ane5e @fanshavegottensotoxic@honey-deerling

Chapter 17

You were staring at your older sister. Aurora had joined the Marines ages ago, working her way up to Captain it seemed since you last saw her a few years ago. What was she doing in Shells Town of all places? Why did you have to run into her? The way she was staring at you, as though she was looking at a ghost, was starting to get to you. She couldn’t stop herself from rushing over and throwing her arms around you. You went stiff, this wasn’t what you wanted.

“Mom wrote and said you had died!” 

“Well-”

“Your home was destroyed by some horrible pirates!” She continued as she hugged you tightly. “Th-There was a service and everything for you!”

That made you feel a little bad, but at the same time… 

“Your poor husband died yet you managed to live! How?” Her eyes widened. “That big beautiful home of yours and that poor man! Gone in an instant!” She wiped away the tears. “I can’t believe you’re alive and out here! You poor thing, your husband died to save you, didn’t he?”

You pulled back when she said that, looking up at your sister. The tears in her eyes bothered you. Your siblings all left the family behind while you stayed back to help your parents. You were the one sold off to support the family business. You put up with the abuse from your ex and his wives. You were never able to tell your family what happened. While you appeared to be marrying into a rich household, you were in a constant hell. 

“Well, I managed to escape.” You told her, trying to keep your voice steady as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m alive.”

“Why aren’t you home?!” Aurora demanded suddenly. “Mom and dad have been in mourning and you’re off on a little trip through the seas?! What is wrong with you?! You should go home!”

You didn’t want to cause a scene. You didn’t want to be talking to her in this room full of Marines, with their ears listening and eyes watching, full of people who would arrest you if they knew you were affiliated with pirates. Would your sister do that? Have you arrested and tortured for information on your boyfriend and your new friends and family? 

Instead you smiled. “You all left. I decided I needed a change.”

“A change?!” Aurora gasped. “Our parents have no clue what happened to you and you’re just here having a drink?!”

“Well, not really a drink-”

“You need to contact mom and dad.” Your sister insisted. “You can come with me to the base and we can send a letter out to them.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, you can just tell them.” You insisted. Cabaji entered the tavern, looking around for you. The two of you locked eyes, he saw your sister, and he proceeded to the counter instead. If he stepped in it could put the crew at risk, so he let you handle it. That was fine. “I… I should get going.”

“Going?! Where do you have to go?!” Aurora asked as she grabbed your shoulders roughly, searching your face for something, anything that could tell her what was going on in that head of yours. “Are you in danger? Are… are you safe, sis? Did something happen?”

How could you answer that? You felt safer now with Buggy and his crew than before. You felt safer seeing Cabaji in the tavern than the dozens of Marines enjoying their drinks and food. If something was going to happen to you, the crew would be the ones you run to, not your sister or the Marines.

Before you could answer, there was a disruption at the bar. You both turned to look, your sister loosened her grip before muttering something and rushing forward to help. Cabaji was already heading out and you rushed to follow after. He glanced over at you but said nothing. You didn’t know what to really say.

~

“What did you tell that Marine?” Cabaji demanded as you two returned to the tent. “What did you tell her about us? You seemed close to her.”

You didn’t want to answer him but you knew silence would cause further problems. With a shrug, you glanced back at the town. “That was my sister. She’s a Captain.”

“What did you tell her?” 

“Nothing.” You shrugged. “Family mourned for me. She wanted me to tell our parents I’m alive. I think she was going to force me back to the base.”You looked back at Cabaji. “I didn’t tell her about the crew or Captain Buggy, promise. I wouldn’t do that, y’know.”

“Captain will want to know about this…” Cabaji hesitated. He knew how the captain could get, but so did you. Did he really think you wouldn’t tell Buggy something like this happened?

“Let’s get back to the Captain.” You said, looking back at him. “I need to talk to him.”

~

You had to wait for Cabaji to finish talking to Buggy and explaining what happened to the map. You waited outside, chewing on your fingernails, listening to your boyfriend laugh after talking to him, seeing the acrobat exit the ring quickly. You waited a second before turning to walk in. He was grinning, perking up more when he saw you. He pushed himself out of the wooden chair and started to approach you. 

“Babe-”

He didn’t get to ask how you enjoyed yourself. You rushed over to him and threw yourself at him, burying your face against his chest, not caring if the buttons or buckles were poking you and uncomfortable. The laughter was gone, replaced with concern, even anger, because he didn’t know what was wrong.

“Babe, talk, what’s going on?” He demanded as he tried to pry you off to look at him. You lifted your head up. The tears in your eyes were startling but what you said unnerved him.

“I saw my sister.” You swallowed heavily. “She-She made it sound like I had a happy marriage, you know, and couldn’t believe I was still alive, and I didn’t tell her anything about you, or-or the crew, I jus’ said I was on a trip and taking time and she-”

“Woah, woah, okay, time out.” He managed to get you to loosen your grip just a bit. “Your sister was in town?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes. “She’s a Marine Captain.”

Buggy stared down at you, processing these words. A Marine Captain. Not that much of a threat, they were easily dealt with, but for him to be learning this now… 

“Why am I just now finding this out?!” He demanded, grabbing your shoulders to push you back a bit, ignoring how you flinched at the tone of his voice. “That your sister is a Captain?!”

“I didn’t know she was a damn Captain now!” You told him. “I-I knew she joined the Marines but I didn’t know she got promoted and-and she saw me in the bar and was so shocked, you know, and my mom and dad are mourning for me and she said I need to contact them and-”

You babbled on, hiding your face against him once more as the tears rolled down your cheeks. There was a moment back with your sister that made you wonder if you’d see Buggy again. What if she had taken you to the base? What if you slipped up and were arrested, putting the crew at risk? Buggy would have thought you left him for good and the thought of that had you crying harder.

Buggy wasn't sure what to do. You wouldn't let go of him, you were crying, and he needed to go alert the crew about being on the lookout for his map, but last time he didn't comfort you the two of you fought and he didn't want that either. He needed to do something.

“Babe, Cupcake, let's… go to our room and you can relax. I have to tell the crew one thing but I'll come back.” He told you. You looked at him, hurt, but he took his arm off and handed it to you. “Listen, I can't do much without it, so I promise I'll come find you in a few minutes.”

“Buggy-”

“Babe, I promise.” He kissed you on the forehead and gave you a gentle push away. You frowned at him and stood there, holding his arm as he headed off. 

Fine.

~

You were curled up on the bed, replaying the conversation with your sister in your head, wondering if you said anything that could have jeopardized the crew and Buggy. You last saw him fifteen minutes ago and he said it would only be a few minutes, but it hurt how long it was taking.

His arm was moving and it was a little weird, but you appreciated it a little bit as his hand was stroking your hair while you sniffled. You were stressed, panicking, and you felt sick with anxiety after seeing her. Of all the pubs around, you had to go to the one your sister was at.

You took a few slow, deep breaths, trying to calm down, but it wasn't helping. Someone was approaching the bedroom, it had to be Buggy, right? But the footsteps didn't sound right. What if it was the Marines? Did they follow you and Cabaji? Your heart started racing, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it as you stared at the door, hoping they'd walk past, but there knob was turning and the door was opening-

“Fucking stepped in something.” Buggy muttered as he carried his boots in his hand. He tossed them aside and looked towards the bed just as a pillow hit him. “Hey!”

“It's you!”

“Obviously, babe!” Buggy shot back as he threw the pillow back at you. “Geez, what was that for?!”

“I-I didn't know if it was you!” You stammered, wiping your eyes on the back of your hand. He stared at you for a moment, holding his tongue as he took his arm back. He scratched his head and cleared his throat. 

“I didn't mean to take so long.” He said, looking a little bit sorry.

You shrugged and grabbed the pillow to hug, resting your chin on it. “I got worried. I thought maybe the Marines showed up.”

“Babe, they're not coming so stop worrying.” He insisted as he shrugged his jacket off. “I'll handle anything that they throw at us anyway.” 

“Buggy-”

“It's fine, we're fine, stop worrying.” Buggy said as he walked over to the bed and sprawled out across the mattress before reaching for you. You hesitated, still upset that he left you alone for so long again, but at least this time he kind of apologized for it. You let him pull you over and on top of his chest before he kissed you on the cheek. “I'm… sorry for leaving you again when you were upset, but I still had to take care of Captain shit.”

You rubbed your face and nodded. “Thanks for apologizing.”

“See, babe, nothing to worry about! I'm here, you're here, we'll be fine.” He chuckled as he rubbed your back slowly as you relaxed against him. “In a few days we'll find the thieves who took my map and I'll be on my way to being King of the Pirates.”

You just nodded again, resting your head over his heart as you tried to settle yourself. It was hard coming down from that moment of anxiety, where you thought everything was ruined by something you did, but he wasn't blaming you or even talking about it so maybe he really didn't think there was much to worry about. You sighed softly and rubbed your eyes.

“Are you okay?” Buggy asked. “I'm gonna keep you safe, y’know, from your family and scary Marines.”

“‘m okay.” You mumbled back as you sighed. “Just feel dumb for getting upset and stuff.”

“Well, I'm happy you're safe and home, babe.” He kissed you on the forehead. “The Marines won't getcha so you're stuck with me.”

You wrinkled your nose and looked at him. “There's worse people to be stuck with.”

“Like your sister?”

“Yea, after how she made the marriage sound happy and that I was lucky for it, I don't think I'd want to see her again.” You sighed and closed your eyes. “Time for a nap. You're not going anywhere.”

“Hard to with you on top of me.” Buggy retorted, making no effort to move. “I'm glad you're home, babe.”

You nodded and relaxed against him again. “Thanks, Buggy.”

[mmriesoftvat]

It's been some time (probably only a few weeks) since I wrote up an actual summary of modernverse and what's going on. All under the cut but!!!

trigger warnings: abuse, parental neglect, drugs, alcohol, vandalism, and probably more.

Kami is the older son of Makoto, who was the twin sister of Ei. She was never a great mother, but she was the only parent Kami ever had. All through growing up, he resented her and despised any attempt she made, especially where his younger sibling, Arakan, was concerned.

Makoto cared more about spending every waking minute with Ei than actually paying attention to her kids. This meant that Kami was often stuck with raising Arakan and himself, even though the two were only a year apart in age. Still, Kami did it because in his mind, Arakan still needed guidance, needed someone to look out for them. If Makoto wasn't going to do it, no one else would.

So throughout his childhood, Kami was the one making all sacrifices. Never really had any friends, never got to go out and enjoy being a kid. His job was to make sure Arakan had the option to. Makoto wasn't completely neglectful though, she still managed to leave money for the kids to spend if needed. It wasn't like either of them ever went without food or some forms of entertainment, though Kami usually saved more of that money for Arakan's needs and wants, sacrificing his own.

Makoto ended up dying with the kids were teenagers. They hadn't even graduated high school yet. Kami arranged for a small funeral, shutting down his own emotions and kept himself from grieving properly at all. It was at this point when all his resentment for everything Makoto did boiled over.

Kami resented his sibling. Kami resented his aunt, and even cousin. Kami hated everything about his life, and the second he graduated high school, he left. Took off, deciding he no longer cared. He'd done his part in caring for whatever broken family he'd had, and couldn't do it anymore. His anger over Makoto being neglectful and then dying had sent Kami over the edge.

He lived on the streets for a few years. He didn't know what he was doing with life, really, and ended up turning to drugs and alcohol to ry and stave off the anger that kept threatening to build over. He ended up meeting someone who he thought would change his life around: Katelyn.

She was beautiful, and she acted sweet toward him. It didn't matter to Kami if she was using people to get her own drug fix, she always seemed to treat Kami like the adult he tried to be. Respectful and friendly.

Eventually she and her group of friends made their way back to Kami's hometown. Kami didn't like being there, but for some reason, Katelyn was the only person he'd ever listen to, and she had some uncanny ability to talk him into doing things her way.

Their relationship, whatever it was, continued for a couple of years. Kami barely remembers any of it, because most of the time she'd get him drunk, or high, or both and use his altered state of mind to continue manipulating, attempting to twist him around her finger so completely. It all came to a head when she managed to manipulate Kami into vandalizing an old bookstore because she had a vendetta against the owner.

Her and her friends fled the scene, leaving Kami behind to take the fall for all the damage. Kami was arrested, and it was then that he realized how alone he really was.

His community service was to serve time working in a library. Kami loathed it at first because he hadn't read much before, never having the time to. But a 16 year old kid by the name of Chongyun came into the library one day, asking for books about ghosts or hauntings. The two ended up forming a tentative relationship at first, because Kami was 20 at the time. But over the course of a few weeks, the two ended up growing closer, and he eventually told Chongyun he kinda liked working at the library.

It was Chongyun who suggested Kami stay employed, so Kami did, finding ultimately it was his favorite place to hang out. His probation officer ended up helping Kami find a more permanent place to live, a small 2 bedroom apartment.

It took Kami another few years to get back in contact with what was left of his family. Because of Makoto and even because of Katelyn, Kami was still incredibly bitter and angry, and so convinced that his sibling and cousin would hate him. He tended to avoid them, sticking only to his inner circle of one friend, but that wasn't helping his mood, especially when Ren and Arakan were popping up everywhere.

It all came to a head when a message from Ei stirred shit up. Everything Kami had kept buried ended up exploding outward, leaving him finally trying to repair the broken bridges with both Arakan and Ren.

It's not an easy process, and there's still a ton of tension that's lingering. A lot of resentment and bitter feelings on all ends. But Kami's trying, and still leaning on Chongyun and even Chongyun's new boyfriend for help, Kami's determined to try and let things go without running away again, even though he wants to.

And who knows, maybe all these people that Ren's bringing into the mix can help as well. He loves his younger sibling, and he loves his cousin.

Maybe one day they can be their own family without a dead mother and a deadbeat aunt getting in the way.

And maybe Kami can move on from Katelyn with his new boyfriend.

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Miami faith community strains to help new exiles, migrants (AP) A few days after selling all she had to flee Cuba with her three children on a crowded boat, Daneilis Tamayo raised her hand in praise and sang the rousing opening hymn at Sunday worship in this Miami suburb. “The only thing that gave me strength is the Lord. I’m not going to lose my faith, whatever I might go through,” she said later, sitting on a mattress in one of Iglesia Rescate’s classrooms. She and her children, ages 16, 8 and 3, have been sleeping in the church’s improvised shelter since the promises of help made by her contact in the United States turned out to be “all lies.” In the past 18 months, an estimated 250,000 migrants and asylum-seekers like Tamayo have arrived in the Miami area after being granted only precarious legal status. It often doesn’t include permission to work, which is essential to building new lives in the U.S. The influx is maxing out the migrant social safety net even in Miami’s faith communities. Miami’s faith leaders and their congregations remain steadfast in their mission to help settle new migrants. But they’re sounding the alarm that the need is growing unmanageable—and could get worse without federal reforms providing permanent legal status and work permits.

4 Americans kidnapped in northern Mexico, officials say (AP) Four U.S. citizens have been kidnapped after gunmen opened fire on their vehicle in the northern Mexico border city of Matamoros, the FBI said. The four had entered Matamoros, across from Brownsville, Texas, on Friday and were travelling in a white minivan with North Carolina license plates. The FBI San Antonio Division office said in a statement Sunday that the vehicle came under fire shortly after it entered Mexico. “All four Americans were placed in a vehicle and taken from the scene by armed men,” the office said. The FBI is offering a $50,000 reward for the return of the victims and the arrest of the culprits.

A generation of Venezuelan children know only struggles (AP) Valerie Torres’ mother has tried to shield her from the worst of Venezuela’s protracted crisis—the deadly protests, the sick people begging for help, the malnourished children with protruding ribs. At school, her teachers don’t even broach the subject. But just shy of her 10th birthday this month, the girl is perceptive beyond her years. She knows her fourth-grade classmate lied to their teacher saying he forgot a book at home when in fact he was still saving up to buy it; that neighbors, friends and even her grandmother have all fled the country in search of a better life; that her mother is bringing home fewer groceries. Valerie is part of a generation of Venezuelan children who know only a country in crisis, whose lives so far have been spent amid hardship and under the government of a single president, Nicolás Maduro, who took the reins a decade ago Sunday when his mentor, Hugo Chávez, died of cancer.

Unions vow to shut France’s economy down amid pension battle (AP) Roads blocked, oil refineries disrupted, planes grounded and trains halted—unions are threatening to shut down France’s economy this week in what they hope is their toughest riposte yet to President Emmanuel Macron’s plan to raise the retirement age. The first actions are expected Monday, as truckers are being urged to block major highway arteries and interchanges in go-slow actions dubbed “escargot” operations. Unions plan an open-ended strike on the national rail service starting Monday evening. The government is bracing for the biggest disruptions Tuesday, when strikes are expected across multiple sectors and protests are planned in cities across France against the retirement bill. The reform, which would raise the official pension age from 62 to 64 and require 43 years of work to earn a full pension, is currently under debate in parliament.

Russia’s population nightmare (Economist) A demographic tragedy is unfolding in Russia. Over the past three years the country has lost around 2m more people than it would ordinarily have done, as a result of war, disease and exodus. The life expectancy of Russian males aged 15 fell by almost five years, to the same level as in Haiti. The number of Russians born in April 2022 was no higher than it had been in the months of Hitler’s occupation. And because so many men of fighting age are dead or in exile, women outnumber men by at least 10m. War is not the sole—or even the main—cause of these troubles but it has made them all worse. According to Western estimates, 175,000-200,000 Russian soldiers have been killed or wounded over the past year (Russia’s own figures are lower). Somewhere between 500,000 and 1m mostly young, educated people have evaded the meat grinder by fleeing abroad. Even if Russia had no other demographic problems, losing so many in such a short time would be painful. As it is, the losses of war are placing more burdens on a shrinking, ailing population. Russia may be entering a doom loop of demographic decline.

In liberated Ukraine city, civilians still pay price of war (AP) In this war-scarred city in Ukraine’s northeast, residents scrutinize every step for land mines. Behind closed doors, survivors wait in agony for the bodies of loved ones to be identified. The hunt for collaborators of the not-so-long ago Russian occupation poisons tightly-knit communities. This is life in Izium, a city on the Donets River in the Kharkiv region that was retaken by Ukrainian forces in September, but still suffers the legacy of six months of Russian occupation. Ukrainian civilians were tortured, disappeared and were arbitrarily detained. Mass graves with hundreds of bodies have been discovered and entire neighborhoods were destroyed in the fighting. Izium is a gruesome reminder of the human cost of the war. Six months after it was liberated, residents say they continue to pay the price. In this city, everyone has a mine story: Either they stepped on one and lost a limb or know someone who did. The mines are discovered daily, concealed along riverbanks, on roads, in fields, on the tops of roofs, in trees. “We have an average of one person a week with wounds” from mines, Dr. Yurii Kuzentsov said. “I don’t know when I will ever go to the river or the forest again, even if our lives are restored, because, as a medical professional, I have seen the consequences.”

A month after quake, survivors need shelter, sanitation (AP) One month after a powerful quake devastated parts of Turkey and Syria, hundreds of thousands of people still need adequate shelter and sanitation, and an appeal for $1 billion to assist survivors is only 10% funded, hampering efforts to tackle the humanitarian crisis, a United Nations official said Monday. The Feb. 6 earthquake and strong aftershocks have killed more than 46,000 people in Turkey, destroyed or damaged around 230,000 buildings and left hundreds of thousands of people homeless—making it the worst disaster in Turkey’s modern history. The U.N. estimates that the earthquake killed around 6,000 people in Syria, mainly in the rebel-held northwest. About 2 million survivors have been housed in temporary accommodation or evacuated from the earthquake-devastated region, according to Turkish government figures. Around 1.5 million people have been settled in tents while another 46,000 have been moved to container houses. Others are living in dormitories and guesthouses, the government said.

Bathhouses in Asia are in hot water (Washington Post) For almost 75 years, Tokyo’s Daikokuyu has been a community establishment where locals strip off, wash away the dirt and grime of everyday life, and then have a long soak together in big overflowing tubs. Generations of Japanese frequented their neighborhood bathhouses, sweating shoulder to shoulder in spirit of a tradition called hadaka no tsukiai, or “naked communion.” Now, bathhouses face a new, double existential crisis: Many bathhouses struggled or closed during the covid pandemic only then to be hit with huge heating bills, thanks to the Russian invasion of Ukraine. “The past few months have really been unbelievable,” said Daikokuyu’s third-generation owner Takuya Shinbo. With record low temperatures hitting Tokyo this past winter, he had to shoulder more than double last year’s cost to keep the water warm through cold nights. Daikokuyu’s monthly gas bill has more than doubled—from just over $5,000 in January last year to more than $12,000 in January this year. Compared to hard-hit European countries, Japan and Korea have seen relatively small hikes in energy prices resulting from the war in Ukraine, but the increased bills remain a daunting obstacle for already struggling bathhouse businesses in both countries.

South Korea Exporting Billions in Arms (NYT) A year after Russia invaded Ukraine, the war has spurred a global effort to produce more missiles, tanks, artillery shells and other munitions. And few countries have moved as quickly as South Korea to increase output. Last year, South Korea’s arms exports rose 140 percent to a record $17.3 billion, including deals worth $12.4 billion to sell ​tanks, ​howitzers, ​fighter jets and multiple rocket launchers to Poland, one of Ukraine’s closest allies. But as South Korea expands weapons sales globally, it has refused to send lethal assistance to Ukraine itself. Instead, it has focused on filling the world’s rearmament gap while resisting any direct role in arming Ukraine, imposing strict export control rules on all its sales. South Korea’s wariness stems in part from its reluctance to openly antagonize Moscow, from which it hopes for cooperation in imposing new sanctions against an increasingly belligerent North Korea. Countries throughout Latin America, Israel and others have also declined to send weapons directly to Ukraine.

Afghan women, divorced and remarried, now considered outlaws under Taliban rule (Washington Post) After her stepfather sold her into marriage at the age of 13 to support his drug habit, the young Afghan woman fought for years to escape an abusive husband. She eventually fled his home, secured a divorce and remarried, she recalled. Now, under Taliban rule, she’s suddenly on the run again, at risk of imprisonment for adultery. Under the previous government, this woman from western Afghanistan could get a divorce by testifying that her first husband was physically abusive, even though he refused to appear before the judge. But under the Taliban’s draconian interpretation of Islamic law, her divorce is invalid and, as a result, so is her second marriage. Former judges and lawyers estimate that thousands of Afghan women who earlier secured divorces without a husband’s consent are now in danger under Taliban rule, facing potential imprisonment and violent reprisals.

Lebanon adopts ‘dollarization’ as currency, economy crumble (AP) With the Lebanese economy in shambles and its currency in free fall, small businesses spend much of their time trying to keep up with a fluctuating exchange rate. Now they are increasingly leaning on one of the world’s most reliable assets—the U.S. dollar—as a way to cope with the worst financial crisis in its modern history. The Lebanese pound has lost 95% in value since late 2019, and now most restaurants and many stores are demanding to be paid in dollars. The government recently began allowing grocery stores to start doing the same. While this “dollarization” aims to ease inflation and stabilize the economy, it also threatens to push more people into poverty and deepen the crisis. That’s because few in Lebanon have access to dollars to pay for food and other essentials priced that way. But endemic corruption means political and financial leaders are resisting the alternative to dollarization: long-term reforms to banks and government agencies that would end wasteful spending and jump-start the economy.

A new generation of Palestinian fighters is rising up in the West Bank (Washington Post) A Palestinian militant named Mohammad Abu Dhraa strode boldly through this city’s roughest refugee camp last week with an assault rifle on his shoulder, an entourage of young men following in his path. The day before, Abu Dhraa had taken part in an hours-long gun battle with Israeli soldiers who raided Nablus’s city center, one of the deadliest confrontations here in years. Fighters like Abu Dhraa are not tied to a party or a political ideology. But they have easy access to guns and are committed to the fight. In their youth and independence, they represent a new kind of threat—not only to Israel but to an ever-weaker Palestinian Authority, run by unelected men in their 70s and 80s. In earlier generations, Palestinian political factions ran the brigades during street fighting against Israel. Now, cells of teenagers and young men in their early 20s from the neighborhood are calling the shots. It has been nearly 20 years since the last Palestinian intifada, or uprising. And while the dynamics have changed, observers say, the fundamentals are the same—occupation, despair and relentless violence. Across the West Bank, “the widespread public frustration and desperation is there” for another Palestinian uprising, said Tahani Mustafa, an expert with the International Crisis Group. “I think it’s going to be a lot bloodier, far more diffused, far more fragmented.”

[mattieartemis]

I'm walking home from work whilst reading this so not best placed to provide commentary but I'm going to do so anyway, cos I'm so upset about this

I am an educator working directly with children of all ages (primary, secondary, post-16) in a museum setting

Prior to doing this full time, I spent 5 years as a trans youth work coordinator at a major UK lgbt+ youth charity, and oversaw all trans youth work for the last two years of that

This is really upsetting. It will do actual harm to young people who's faces I personally know. A lot of this stuff really does contravene the equality act, best practise guidance, the government's own guidance if you look back 5 years ago, etc

It's also really unsurprising. Individual facets are not what I would have guessed but the overall picture is exactly where we've been going - where some of us could see we were headed (also - this is not yet the endpoint, it gets worse). The dogwhistles and particular language (the use of 'social transition' in inverted commas as a verb phrase rather than as a part of language, ie socially transition, leapt out at me) is extremely indicative of the people we know are lobbying and socialising with top figures

This needs fighting. Its profile needs raising so more people know what it is, why it's harmful, and how to fight it. We need court challenges, protests, counter media, and care and support for those directly and indirectly impacted

The other upsetting thing is those support systems are also disappearing. Something we witnessed since the tory government got in is all the middle services that supported the vulnerable got gutted, which means that people fall through the net and their needs are either escalated to blue light services, or pushed down on the charities that are now struggling to find what funding is left

This all leads to burnout, of both the workers but also the charities themselves. That major UK lgbt+ youth charity I used to work for? Considerably less major, considerably less capable of supporting its increasingly vulnerable service users, and personally, considerably less trans inclusive

I won't go into all the details cos there's too much personal shit tied up in there, but suffice to say consistently cis leadership did not understand the complex needs of our community, leading to myself and ultimately the rest of my trans youth work team to leave, bad decisions to be made about the trans youth groups, young people protesting, and the shutdown of trans youth groups

Outside of the youth work team, other teams (the training team, the mentoring team) were well supported and doing great work engaging with schools and colleges, engaging with local councils, and producing trans inclusive guidance. And I'm sure that's continuing

But what's breaking my heart all over again is knowing that this continued shutdown of services means that the most vulnerable trans young people are going unsupported

Last thing - I'm glad mermaids are still here and providing this service. We used to joke a little about mermaids - how they're not a trans youth charity, they're a charity for the /parents/ of trans youth. And that's how they were set up, as a small team. And the irony is that the negative attention they've acquired had forced them to grow, to pivot to provide more direct trans support, and do what my previous employer is now failing to do

I'm going to return to the caveat that this has not been a well reasoned, thoughtful commentary, but an emotional splurge into my phone screen, whilst I once again return to the thought of setting up something new for trans youth. Ho hum.

So, the DfE have released their non-statutory guidance for schools on "gender questioning children". I know much has been made of the idea of outing trans children to their parents, but I think the guidance actually has far more concerning sections. And by concerning I mean "deeply transphobic and fucked up".

I know some people are happy it's non statutory, but let's be explicit, this document is transphobic, it's dogwhistle politics, and it's existence will directly harm trans people.

Ironically, the DfE's own lawyers have advised that this guidance is likely illegal and contravenes the equality act.

I think the idea that there are lots of students who are fully transitioned in school but not out at all at home is a bit of a strawman from both sides. In my experience (and I've mentioned this on tumblr before), a school would not normally encourage this if a student was genuinely at risk at home if outed, because even if all the teachers knew not to out the students, you can't control the behaviour of other students/parents etc. I think it's a bit of a right wing scare tactic "Schools are transitioning your kids without your consent". It's a fascist dog whistle.

In my experience as a teacher, the vast majority of trans kids I've taught were transitioning socially at home and school. Some did only use their chosen name/pronouns in school, but parents were aware.

But this straw man has been used to build a document which is deeply transphobic and wide reaching and will defacto exclude some trans kids from school, or from school sports, or from attending a school where they feel comfortable.

Trans kids exist. Kids can know they are trans from a young age, and there is no harm to anyone from allowing social transition at a young age. Some kids transition back to their assigned gender at birth. That doesn't mean anyone was harmed. But this guidance explicitly presents the idea of transition as both harmful to the person transitioning and those around them. Which is fucked up.

The new guidance has some really concerning bits in it which will seriously negatively impact all trans students. Here are some quotes below, with my comments in italics. Please note I'm quoting directly from a document that uses transphobic language:

-Primary school aged children should not have different pronouns to their sex-based pronouns used about them. (This is fucked, I cannot stress how fucked this is. These kids exist and simply pretending they don't is awful in the extreme. The idea that children can't socially transition at primary school is really messed up. )

-schools and colleges should only agree to a change of pronouns if they are confident that the benefit to the individual child outweighs the impact on the school community. It is expected that there will be very few occasions in which a school or college will be able to agree to a change of pronouns. On these rare occasions, no teacher or pupil should be compelled to use these preferred pronouns. (How does a child using pronouns of choice impact the school community? It doesn't? In my experience, teens are much more accepting of trans classmates than some adults. Also giving teachers explicit permission to misgender kids is fucking dangerous).

-schools and colleges should exhaust all other options, such as using firstnames, to avoid requiring other individuals having to use preferred pronouns. (My initial response to this was "why the fuck" but a trans friend commented that the purpose is to make trans people's lives as difficult and as miserable as possible, and they're going after the most vulnerable trans people- trans kids)

-If a child does not want to use the toilet designated for their biological sex, and the school or college has considered all the relevant factors outlined above, they may wish to consider whether they can provide or offer the use of an alternative toilet facility. (this is weird because I'm pretty sure it contravenes the equality act, I'm pretty sure there is a legal duty on schools, and certainly colleges where over 18s attend to provide gender neutral toilet facilities if required. Also, not having an appropriate toilet defacto excludes children from school).

-Schools may have different uniform requirements for girls and boys. Some specify which uniform items are for girls and which are for boys, and similarly some schools have hairstyle rules which differ by sex. A child who is gender questioning should, in general, be held to the same uniform standards as other children of their sex at their school and schools may set clear rules to this effect. (So some schools could, for example, force a trans boy or non binary student to wear a skirt. Which is unfair and messed up. To be honest, I think sex segregated uniforms belong in the dark ages anyway, but this is just ridiculous.).

-There is no general duty to allow a child to ‘social transition’. (Firstly, there legally is. Secondly, why would a school not want to? This just gives licence to transphobic heads to say "oh, no, we won't allow you to transition", which is illegal, but the whole thing is just such a fucking mess. And again, why? Why would you not allow a child to transition socially? Unless you want to pretend that trans children don't exist?)

If you want to read the full guidance, it's available here, but trigger warnings etc do apply: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

Yes, the guidance is non-statutory, so in theory schools could ignore it, but in reality, OFSTED etc can use non-statutory guidance as a stick to beat schools with. At this stage, I think we all know the OFSTED don't give a fuck about anyone's mental health or wellbeing.

Interestingly, even the DfE's own lawyers have admitted the advice could open schools up to a legal challenge. This SchoolsWeek article on the topic is super interesting: https://schoolsweek.co.uk/trans-guidance-dfe-lawyers-said-schools-face-high-risk-of-being-sued/

Anyway, whilst the fact it's non statutory is something, this is not the victory some people are making it out to be, and the fact a document encouraging misgendering children has been published at all is fucked. This document could very much be used to prevent children from transitioning, and will likely prevent some children who have transitioned from attending school.

[jjheejz]

About Internet Water Army in the case

This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).

19 August 2021 update: Added the scale of his success for reference, before bonus below

18 August 2021 update: Added timeline of events, orange title in post, found out the official English term for Immoral Media = Internet Water Army)

Major updates since first draft: Added bonus, added disclaimer, certain info details

Originally posted on 16 August 2021

[The purpose of this post is to provide a perspective as to why the Media is raised/blamed regarding the issue. Especially for international fans, as all the encounters happened on Weibo. Also, those who were on weibo, do read through if you will. So although it's lengthy, do try to read all, at least if not the last two parts].

The Media referred by most, is not the common perception of the Entertainment Industry (celebrities, directors, shows, channels, staff etc), but the dark side of the Entertainment industry: Antis, toxic fans, toxic marketing accounts. They are called Internet Water Army💧.

Toxic Marketing Accounts is one of the things they do, these accounts on Weibo has millions of followers, each of their post likes are in the hundred thousands (buyable) to give credibility to passer-bys. Some use similar names to Official accounts, some use similar logos. Their posts are usually subjective or aims to steer view points of a certain celebrity/movie/show. Before the latest update of this post (18.08.21), I just group them all together and term them as Immoral Media*.

*Below is my original post using my original term because at point of first draft, I did not know the official term (so have changed/added the term from Immoral Media to Internet Water Army in content below but retain the content based off first draft).

If you have chased before celebrities, or just simply passed by an article about certain celebrities, recall how some title that caught your attentions were like. Clickbaits is one of the many things they do. If GZ is your first and you do not have Weibo, then this read(link) is good enough.

Just as the term Immoral Media (Internet Water Army), it’s immoral and unethical, but they exists because they are paid to do so. Who pays them? Entertainment Companies, and maybe other Organisations

Normal Media/Marketing vs Immoral Media/Toxic Marketing/Internet Water Army

When a show or movie comes out, the normal Marketing department will generate outreach and buzz so that people know a show is airing soon/know the show exists etc. Official announcements are not enough, because there isn’t much context (limited content to put up as well) so having some other Marketing accounts do the buzz in a planned period to gain awareness through posts, some articles about the casts, the plot summary, the production details etc is normal. This is Marketing, bigger companies will probably have stronger Marketing departments (aka influence) and can hire more Marketing accounts to generate buzz. Celebrities (aka casts) themselves, are also Marketing point.

Then we have the Internet Water Army/Immoral Media, these are what they mainly do:

Create Fanfiction-rumors: Creating rumors about celebrities to shift audience perception of them. [eg. XX was seen with XX leaving a hotel, XX was drunk on Event Y and did ZZZ to AA, XX is dating BB and has been in a relationship for N years etc]

Honing their brain degrading skills: Come up with titled clickbait headings/ trending topics with negative written contents. For articles, exceptionally out of heading content related to the celebrity. [Refer to Baidu, it’s a winner of these, feel free to Google Translate]

Regressing their common sense and understanding skills: Take everything a celebrity does completely out of context in a negative way and create a topic out of it [eg. XX said AA is a ---, “XX raised his finger, a sign of ---?”, XX pushed BB aggressively on Variety Show Y - A competition variety show, XX is in beef with CC because XX was caught giving CC the eye]

Using their fingers to stir shit and bathe each other in it: Escalate all smallest form of possible tension created by fans/themselves into a huge thing by acting as the fandom's fans/lurk in fandom chat groups, and voicing their disguised opinion to spread tension/exaggerate severity of the issue [eg. XX fans mocked AA - in groupchats: tbh I've never liked AA before, AA just gives off a vibe that I dont like and now this? It just disgusts me even more > Yea, i feel this way too. AA has problems / XX Lurkers expressing views on XX about NN, slowly to NNMHFXW - XX did NNMHGT - I cannot accept NNmHfHw, I'm leaving = multiply by 1000++]

Epitome of a self-deteriorate: Creating something out of nothing and react to that something negatively to gain massive attention/reaction [eg. “XX raised his hand on show Y” - dk what XX fans are thinking, are they literally blind? XX fans are tasteless just like XX hahaha / “XX did community service” - they are acting / “XX breathed” - From the start, i thought XX was NN, but I am so ZZZ that XX breathed. Goodbye fandom, i’m leaving. Those who still want to stay I urge you to rethink your life choices] - if I may add, Xiao Zhan’s fanfiction case as well. 

Metaphor - Ability to use bare hands to collect paychecks from the urinal/toilet bowl where their boss/client peed in: Doing all of the above.

Apologies for any term offense, but not apologetic of the term context. This is what they do for a living. Any normal human being who do not like anything, will generally not be interested at anything about it in the first place, so to have some antis/toxic fans knowing certain things and inside jokes/references in their posts questions their goal.

On involved in Internet Water Army/Immoral Media 💧

Fans on weibo during these few months witnessed many of the above on GZ. From rumored girlfriend (spammed with articles) to mean and nasty comments on trending topics, to bouts of insults and fake emotional cryouts by certain fan accounts that GZ's office has to release a number of Lawyer’s letter to them. 

Aside from WOH there were also a few other BL adaptation films that were actually released this year but they did not reach exponential success like WOH. BL adaptations are so highly followed by because this is the key to wealth. Literally. Successful BLs like The Untamed and  Dao Mu Bi Ji saw the amount of wealth fans are willing to spend on the celebrity as compared to say BG or idols (younger fan groups). This is why when WOH shot up exponentially, Immoral Media start to sweat.

Major anticipated adaptations were supposed to air this year eg. Hao Yi Xing(HYX), Sha Po Lang(SPL) etc but was severely held back due to the stricter change in BL adaptations submitting their scripts for approval regulations (WOH manage to submit earlier before the change). Because of this, most final films were rejected and they have to keep re-editing, by then WOH was already months into reaping tonnes of major brand endorsements, shows/movie casting, variety show appearances etc, something that is seen as too successful in the Immoral Media’s eyes, because they have to create buzz for other celebrities, some are specific celebrity oriented and thus circulate rumors about having endorsement opportunities shifted from celebrity X to GZ (think fanfiction-rumors and shit stirrer) causes tension in celebrity fandoms. - A real event just in July:

The Untamed’s cp fandom is called BJYX which had always been in the Top 1 of Cps for 2 years dropped for awhile to Top 2, over taken by LLD. Both of them had a war and hated each fandom, one fandom is somehow not allowed to like the other fandom even casually after everything broke out because it started out with some BJYX toxics photoshopped GZ on of portraits .

Also another case of which he wore the same costume as WYB did in a previous photoshoot and it became a useless comparison of who wore better, who looks better, degrading the other. (Finger stirring shit).

Now apply all of the above things the Internet Water Army do and we have them earning money, while both fandom reacts and hate each other.

In LLD, our own fans started suspecting each other on who is a spy from BJYX and what not.

The first few months of Internet Water Army saw LLDs mostly mocking them because the average age is 30-40s, they know and see through all of their intentions so nothing was big. They were trumpeting and LLDs didn’t even care, what with all the doing tedious stats was not even important to them.

Over time, as the issues they create became more and more serious LLDs did start to care, reporting Toxic Marketing accounts/toxic fans became a daily task, go vote for GZ at certain polls etc, solo fans, and LLD fans also split apart. Solo fans think cp fans use GZ to furnish their fantasies, and cp fans thinks they are the ones furnishing their dreaming-girls fantasy with (aka my boyfriend).

There was also a period where LLD had a habit of continuously mentioning “we are in the 30-40s so we can see through everything about the media, we are all fans for the first time, we are good at spending money (because of purchase power compared to other fandoms)” it was prevalent for so long it felt odd, ‘chasing celebrities the first time’ in particular sounds more vulnerable as a weakness than a strength / sth to be proud of.

Gradually, more secretive/insider confirmed ‘sweets’ were flying around. Fans advised each other to not circulate, and the mindset of “if you know, you know, dont tell.” (This is a problematic mentality, of which fans will still be curious to know and search for it themselves, but this secretive hook is unhealthy. Over the long term, it becomes hard for existing fans to know a lot of things properly to judge for themselves, especially those who knew and publicly reacted, but blasting those who ask and telling those who know to keep quiet, this did not help some to understand why on certain things, even so for international fans, dont know and dont understand, causing misunderstandings. Yes, certain information should not be shared, so why should you react about it publicly in the first place? - Internet Water Army effect)

The last few months (for example the July fan war) created a tonne of seriousness and anger. A period even broke out with a tonne of ‘insider confirmed sweets’ (which is LLD’s daily dose of happiness), it was hard to tell what was real and what was fake. Trending topics became negative and everyone warned each other not to enter because it will give the trends ‘views’ and trend statistics, in reality entering there is to enter an exhibition by the self-deteriorates, collecting the fandom's traffic data (it's a sure lose for fans each time they enter the topic). Everyone even starts thinking that the trend’s popularity was caused by each other (it's true but it can be bought daily and not caused by fans). There was a raise in the number of fans who were getting emotional because they want to protect but Internet Water Army kept coming and got worse, because fans, tbh, not just GZ fans, every other celebrity’s fans are always fighting with an Army, getting played and plotted in that Army's calendar.

Even so, despite all of these, LLD is actually a fandom Internet Water Army may find the hardest to break because they understand GZ so much, they could tell what are fake news regarding GZ, because among everything above, there are still plenty of logical fans to stop many fans from drifting too far and debunking them. Why? 30-40s are grown up adults.

Why 13.8.21 and the Japan issue is plotted?

First of all, in the political climate of China, there are many political dates in a month that is NO-Entertainment news. Because it’s the honoring of certain important political events. It’s like Remembrance Day, thus the sensitivity is higher. On these days, there are usually no news and even the Internet Water Army zip their pants. This year also marks the 100th year of the Chinese Communist Party(link)

Secondly, he had no work schedule on 13 August 2021. A great full day to focus on any other news (because if he had schedules, everyone will turn their attention to his events, what trumpeting outside is just bird chirps). 

Thirdly, when the news broke out, especially about the shrine, the reception was actually quite serious within the fandom so the scale of this might be big but to what extent in reality?

Lastly, 15.8.21 marks the 76th anniversary of the announcement of surrender of Japanese in World War 2(link). Also a day of NO-Entertainment news. 

Timeline of events:

13.8.21 - [His rest day, Eve of Chinese Valentine's Day, Japan News broke out] His rest day, no schedules = increased attention about him online. Lowered guard among fans because they are getting ready for tomorrow's Chinese Valentine's sweets = Caught off guard = Huge break out of fans' reactions

14.8.21 - [Chinese Valentine's Day, Eve of the 75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender] Keep a wishful and happy demenaor to not destroy the mood, suppressed thoughts about ZZH's Japan news

15.8.21 - [75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender, Official announcement of ZZH's boycott and all China social media account ban] NO-Entertainment news day, Solemn day, not allowed to voice anything so the fandom can only wait for tomorrow to start voicing out/debunking but before they can wait out, the boycott and social media ban happened, every official accounts about him was gone overnight, fans had no time to react

17.8.21 - [All official fandom accounts related to ZZH and JunZhe were locked/removed]

Forced to be silent since the day his matter broke out, over the course of official news release with everything taken down in a day because of the Japan correspondence, his accounts banned overnight across the Chinese media and the overnight cancellation, fans could not speak anything about it. Overnight cancellation like this scale happened for the first time in China, leaving no time to react by the fandom, by the time they can, they are silenced.

When the period of events occured within a set of special dates, it’s not coincidence.

Conclusion

Because he was too successful and had many actually honorable past things, and a hard to influence fandom, Internet Water Army view him as a huge threat enough to want to destroy him, because it’s hard to defeat. With a chance they have, they will hold it till the end, bringing up this issue to the Government during this period also shows a sign of how scared they were of him and perhaps his fandom to plot something like this.

Updated on 19 August: Here's a screenshot of assumed calculation on the scale of GZ success for reference while chatting with a fellow fan, assuming GJ also has 27 brands, and there are 1000 brands. Rationale of numbers used: Only big brands can hire big celebrities.

Bonus

Mentioned in the first post, will mention again in case. After the news broke out within 2 days, there was a drop on his weibo followers from 18.9mil to 18.7mil. 200k+ drops, if the politics was such a big national issue, there should at least be a huge drop, even at least a million right? Because weibo is a China-Chinese majority right? Nope, we get a puny 200k drop.

What's funny? The self-deteroriates:

Translation: "Are his fans bought? Why didnt he drop fans? Those people got brainwashed to this point?" / "I've never entered his weibo and today i feel like having a look yet it showed I've followed him. All his fans were bought right? It disgusts me, i immediately unfollowed. This kind of process is worse than WYF..." / "i dropped fans because of him...no...I just reposted 2 posts and I've dropped 4 fans?"

Isn't the tone and regressing brain cells, all too familiar and same?

//

Added above, will remind again to read this link. It has an even more in-depth knowledge on who are paying them.

So what should we do? Link here

Related posts 🛏️:

[wtffundiefamilies]

From reddit user bubblegum1286.  What might have been for Josh.

I interned for a year as a counseling grad student for an SOTP (sex offender treatment prevention) program. Here's the help Josh should have received years ago...

The program I worked with had men from ages 16 up to old old men. It was a court-mandated program that was required as part of their probation or parole (depending on their sentencing). The crimes ranged from possession of child pornography to aggravated sexual assault and torture with a deadly weapon. Some guys had never served any actual time in jail, while one man had just been released after 45 years in prison. So we had a hodgepodge you could say.

The program in my local city is/was run by a PhD psychologist and a licensed marriage and family therapist who also happened to be a former sheriff's deputy who worked for twenty years in law enforcement. These guys didn't take bullshit. They were amazingly professional and working with them was an excellent experience for me. Only two graduate students were selected each year to intern in this program, and I considered myself very honored to get to work with them. It was eye-opening to say the least.

The primary aspects of the program have been explained by other snarky mental health professionals (I love that you guys came out of the woodworks to add to this). Accountability is huge.

We did six hours of group therapy sessions every single week. Every week, their POs would come by to make sure they were attending in person. Arrest warrants were issued for missing even one session. This was a very important aspect of the program.

Our sessions always involved open accountability in which we would revisit the nature of the crimes involved. We swept nothing under the rug. They went around the room every single week and stated why they were in attendance with this particular group of people. This isn't intended to shame them, but rather to keep their crimes at the forefront of their thoughts so they stay more closely connected with the nature of their crimes. Distancing oneself from the nature and weight of your own sins or compartmentalizing "that aspect of your life" causes you to feel like "I'd never do that again! That's in the past. That's so long ago, I don't even remember."

The victims will never forget.

So each session would go around the circle like this: "I'm Josh. I served three months in county and a year of probation for touching my underage sisters in their private places." The doctor would then say, "Please only use correct anatomical terms." And J would then say, "I touched my sister over her clothes on her vagina and under her clothes on her breast."

They would go around the room saying this. The new ones struggled very badly saying what they did or using correct terminology for body parts, but the guys who had been in the program for years would rattle this off like ordering from McD's.

We focused on all kinds of things in therapy- triggers, temptations, personal struggles that might weaken their resolve to never offend again, etc. For example, the loss of a job could send an offender into a mental tailspin where they start thinking about offending again. So those things were addressed and worked through.

Triggers were a huge topic of discussion. We used a method of cognitive behavioral therapy where the men would recognize their own thought patterns and stop themselves before they even began walking down that mental path. If there were certain smells associated with their sexual fantasies or certain songs on the radio or locations, whatever, we would work with the men to take these thoughts and triggers captive and be fully aware of them. If someone shared that they had a fantasy (sexual or violent in nature) about a woman at the grocery store, it was noted and reported to their PO. But then in the actual group session, it was dissected entirely. Not "what was she wearing." No. More of like, "What triggered your weakness? Were you taking care of yourself and your own thoughts? Have you been seeking out pornography lately?" That sort of thing.

Now, I didn't participate in the one on one sessions. The men were regularly given psychosexual polygraph tests if there was any concern that they were potentially re-offending. (I understand there's plenty of debate about the validity of polygraphs, but this is a fairly standard practice at finding out if someone has been reoffending in a counseling type setting like this one).

They also went through a kind of test called the penile plethysmograph where an offender would actually have a device put around his penis and he would be shown images and the device would read what aroused him. I, as a female intern student, never participated in these tests, but I was told all about them by the doctors at the facility. I had a lot of questions regarding how these men were held accountable outside of the group therapy sessions and PO check ins. From my understanding, this tool was used primarily on the child sex offenders, not the cases of adult sexual assault, but I could be mistaken. It's been a few years.

The program made a huge emphasis on accountability outside of the group. We kept in close contact with these men's families, bosses, and other people who would serve as accountability partners throughout the re-entrance to society process. We made a big emphasis on service. "Your brother allowed for you to move in with him after your release. What have you done for him this week?" I had one guy who got out of prison after a very long stint, moved in with his brother (who's home was approved since it was not near a school, playground, community center, or church), and he struggled to find a job. No one would hire a felon, much less a registered sex offender. So he spent that entire summer renovating his brother's garage. He built shelving, organized junk, built cabinets, etc. I could tell it was healing for him to give back to his brother for giving him this second chance. (He was one of the good ones who I walked away truly believing wouldn't offend again. It's been six years and so far he hasn't). We also checked in with these family members, friends, and employers so they were a big part of the process.

We frequently talked about improper or inappropriate or disrespectful kinds of attention. In other words, we were trying to teach these men to stop being creepy or stop being predatorial towards others.

We offered sex education in a healthy, rehabilitative way. We talked a lot about consent. We talked about how you can violate a person with your eyes even if you aren't touching them or talking to them.

These guys also have no internet, no computers, no smart phones, etc. That was also monitored.

This program was the end of the line. You don't come, you go to jail. You don't participate, you go to jail. These men had all been convicted, so this wasn't an alternative program to time served. I understand this may be more than Josh would have endured were he turned in appropriately, but I think he still would have endured a similar rehabilitation program.

I know people might jump on me because Josh was still a minor at the time of his crimes, and I realize that some of these methods wouldn't be utilized on a minor. However, my point is this: If he had been properly reported, the courts, counselors, doctors, etc. would have moved heaven and earth to try and rehabilitate him and to protect those girls.

I understand, as a parent, that the idea of your child doing something so unspeakable is stomach-churning. I can't even fathom how horrifying it was for Meesh to hear that he was touching the girls. However, I do not believe that all hope is lost for all sexual criminals - to a certain point. I worry that Josh is past the point of no return. To hear the descriptions of the porn he was viewing is sickening.

Unfortunately, we won't ever know what could have become of him if he had been dealt with sooner.

[orthodoxydaily]

Saints&Reading: Sun., Jan. 24, 2021

Commemorated on January 11by the New calendar. 

The Monk Theodosios the Great (529)

     The Monk Theodosios the Great lived during the V-VI Centuries, and was the initiator of common-life (coenobitic) monasteries. He was born in Cappadocia of pious parents. Endowed with a splendid voice, he zealously toiled at church reading and singing. And the Monk Theodosios prayed fervently, that the Lord would guide him on the way to salvation. In his early years he visited the Holy Land and met with the Monk Simeon the Stylite ("Pillar-Dweller",  + 459, Comm. 1 September), who blessed him and predicted future pastoral service for him. Yearning for the solitary life, Saint Theodosios settled in Palestine into a desolate cave, – in which by tradition, the three Magi had spent the night, having come to worship at the Nativity of the Saviour of the world. In it he dwelt for 30 years in great abstinence and unceasing prayer. Steadily there began to throng to the ascetic those wanting to live under his guidance. When the cave could no more hold all the gathered monks, the Monk Theodosios began to pray, that the Lord Himself would point out the place for the monks. Taking with him a censer with cold unlit coals, the monk went into the wilderness. At a certain spot the coals fired up and set the incense smoke to rising. Here also the monk founded the first common-life monastery, or Lavra [Greek "Laura" meaning "broad" or populous"; in Russia were four such: Trinity-Sergeev, Kievo-Pechersk, Alexander-Nevsk and Pochaev], under the ustav-rule of Saint Basil the Great (+ 379, Comm. 1 January). Soon the Lavra of the Monk Theodosios became reknown, and up to 700 monks gathered at it. According to the final testament of the Monk Theodosios, the Lavra rendered service to neighbour, giving aid to all the poor and providing shelter for wanderers.

The Monk Theodosios was extremely compassionate. One time when there was a famine in Palestine and a multitude of people gathered at the monastery, the monk gave orders to allow everyone into the monastery enclosure. His disciples were annoyed, knowing, that the monastery did not have the means to feed all those who had come. But when they went into the bakery, they saw that then through the prayers of the abba, that it was filled with bread. And suchlike a miracle was repeated every time, when the Monk Theodosios wanted to give help to the destitute.      At the monastery the Monk Theodosios built an home for taking in strangers, separate infirmaries for monks and laymen, and also a shelter for the dying. Seeing that at the Lavra were gathered people from various lands, the monk arranged for Divine-services in the various languages – Greek, Gruzian (Georgian) and Armenian. For communing the Holy Mysteries all gathered in the large church, where Divine-services were done in Greek.      During the reign of the Constantinople emperor Anastasias (491-518) there arose the heresy of Eutykhios and Severus, which recognised neither the sacraments nor the clergy. The emperor joined in with the false-teaching, and the Orthodox began to suffer persecution. The Monk Theodosios stood firmly in defense of Orthodoxy and on behalf of the wilderness monks wrote a missive to the emperor, in which they denounced him and refuted the condemned heresy with the teachings of the OEcumenical Councils. He affirmed moreover, that the wilderness-dwellers and monks would firmly support the Orthodox confession. The emperor showed restraint for a short while, but then he renewed persecution of the Orthodox. The holy elder then manifest great zeal for the truth. Leaving the monastery, he came to Jerusalem and in the "Great" church, stood at the high place and cried out for all to hear: "Whoever honoureth not the four OEcumenical Councils, let them be anathema!". For this bold deed the monk was sent to prison, but soon returned after the death of the emperor.      The Monk Theodosios during his life accomplished many healings and other miracles, coming to the aid of the needy. One time by prayer he destroyed locusts that were devastating the fields in Palestine; also by his intercession, soldiers were kept from perishing, and he saved both those perishing in shipwreck and those lost in the desert.      One time the monk gave orders to strike the signal, so that the brethren would gather at prayer, and said: "The wrath of God draweth near the Eastern land". After several days it became known, that a strong earthquake had destroyed the city of Antioch at that very hour, when the monk had summoned the brethren to prayer. Before his death, the Monk Theodosios summoned to him three beloved bishops and revealed to them, that he would soon expire to the Lord. After three days he died at the age of 105, in the year 529. The body of the saint was buried with reverence in the cave, in which he lived at the beginning of his ascetic deeds.

The Monk Michael of Klopsk (452)

     The Monk Michael of Klopsk was descended of boyar (noble) lineage, and he was a kinsman of GreatPrince Dimitrii Donskoi (1363-1389). He took upon himself the exploit of Fool-for-Christ: he left Moscow and in rags he arrived at the Klopsk monastery, near Novgorod. No one knew, how he got into the locked cell of the priest-monk Makarii, who then was making a censing at the 9th Ode of the Canon and was going round the cell censing. But there sat a man in monastic garb and beneath a candle he wrote copying from the Acts of the holy Apostles. After the finish of matins the hegumen with brethren came and started to ask the stranger: who is he and of what name? But he answered only by a repeating of the questions and did not reveal his origin. In church the saint sang in the choir and read the Epistle, and at meals he read the Saint-Lives. All who listened were moved by the beauty and spirituality of his reading. On the feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord, the Klopsk monastery was visited by prince Konstantin Dimitrievich (son of GreatPrince Dimitrii Donskoi). After Communion he together with the princess was at the refectory, during the time of which the unknown stranger read from the Book of Job. Hearing the reading, the prince approached the reader and, having looked him over, he bowed down to him, calling him by name his kinsman Mikhail Maksimovich. The fool remarked: "The One Only Creator knoweth of me, who I be", but confirmed that his name was Michael. The Monk Michael soon set example for the brethren in all the monastic efforts. He lived at the Klopsk monastery for 44 years, exhausting his body in work, vigils and various deprivations, and he received from the Lord the gift of perspicacity. He denounced the vices of people, not fearing the powerful of this world. He predicted the birth on 22 January 1440 of GreatPrince Ivan III (1462-1505), and the taking of Novgorod by him. He denounced prince Dimitrii Shemyaka for blinding his brother the GreatPrince Vasilii the Dark (1425-1462).

All texts©1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Matthew 4:12-17 

12Now when Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, He departed to Galilee.13 And leaving Nazareth, He came and dwelt in Capernaum, which is by the sea, in the regions of Zebulun and Naphtali,14 that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying: 15 The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, By the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles: 16 The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, And upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death Light has dawned." 17 From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

2 Corinthians 4:6-15 

6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed- 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you. 13 And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I believed and therefore I spoke," we also believe and therefore speak, 14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. 15 For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

[a-student-out-of-time]

ASOOT Timeline: September 2012 (Double Mission Complete)

*blows nose into handkerchief* Can I offer you guys a timeline update in this trying time? A nice reminder of the Old Days, when we fought serial killers, and no one…no one had to die..I’m gonna go cry now.–Timeline Anon

September 5:

Iroha stays the night at Setsuka and Umeko’s house, and she gets to spend time with Jataro. Meanwhile, Nagisa helps Umeko with the long-range detector.

Chiaki’s team, armed with tools, returns to Towa Land in the daytime when it’s open. At the funhouse, Chiaki tries the date that Monaca met Kasugano as the password to the box, and it works. The group solves various puzzles in order to progress further down the dark hallway. Eventually, they come across a puzzle that requires them to close a circuit. They complete this challenge, but they all get shocked in the process, and Emma ends up in immense pain due to her nerve damage. Kyoji stays behind to care for Emma, while Chiaki, Hibiki, and Sora go on ahead. They encounter more robots, and they defeat them, but Chiaki sustains a serious wound to her leg. Hibiki and Sora leave her with Kyoji and Emma, then keep going, only to run into a big metal door that cannot be opened. The group is forced to return to their hotel room in order to treat their injuries and make a new plan.

Hajime’s team searches Kita City. They learn that Toko frequents a particular library, so they keep watch there while asking around town about her whereabouts (with little success). Maku is investigating a rooftop when he encounters Genocider Syo, who tries to kill him, and a fight ensues. The rest of Hajime’s squad joins the battle after an unsuccessful attempt to talk Syo down. It’s a tough battle, given Syo’s combat skills, and Maku takes a scissor to the gut. At one point, it seems as if Syo has severely wounded Nikei with multiple scissor stab wounds, but he turns the tables on her (with help from Sonia) and successfully zaps her unconscious with his stun gun. It turns out that he used some books as a makeshift vest and is thus fine. The group moves Toko/Syo back to the Void Warehouse.

Kyoji, Emma, and Sora bring thermite back to Towa Land (Hibiki stays at the hotel to take care of Chiaki) and use it to burn down the metal door. They finally find Monaca, but they are too late; she is now physically 16 years old. She is happy at first, despite Kyoji and Emma gently lecturing her about how wrong her actions were, but then she starts feeling pain in her side and realizes what a terrible idea this was. The group takes her back to the hotel, and Kyoji runs some tests; because of the aging stunt, Monaca has a cyst in her ovary, a malformed kidney, a benign tumor on her liver, and decreased vision in her left eye. Chiaki’s team returns home with a remorseful Monaca in tow.

Toko wakes up in the Void Warehouse, and Hajime talks to her about Syo. She is scared and distrustful of him, thinking that he will put her in jail or blackmail her, but he makes it clear that he only wants to help her. He tells her that an electrical current to the head immediately switches her personality, just as sneezing or falling unconscious does. When told that her parents don’t know that she’s here, she’s glad, as they’re abusive. He then brings in Yoruko and Kokoro to talk to her, and although she freaks out at first because she thinks she’ll end up in a straitjacket, they calm her down and convince her to let them help her.

After evaluating Toko, Kokoro tells Yoruko that Toko suffers from multiple psychological disorders due to the abuse and bullying she endured throughout her childhood. This is why she developed DID (although this is the first case of a serial killer alter that Kokoro’s seen), and it’s very likely that she has other alters as well. She theorizes that Syo originally developed as a “protector” alter for Toko and was not born a serial killer, but became one.

The Quantum Crew reunites. Mikan patches up everyone’s wounds, Chiaki’s team tells Hajime’s team about their failure, and Kyoji and Mikan immediately treat Monaca (they’re thankfully able to remove all her damaged tissues). Afterwards, Hajime has a serious talk with Monaca. He tells her in no uncertain terms that he’s not okay with what she did, especially since his friends got hurt, and that he’s not going to fall in love with her because, mentally, she’s still a child. He also apologizes for giving her false hope in the first place. Since her father doesn’t care about her, he offers her a place with the Quantum Crew (plus her helping them will be a sort of “community service” to make up for what she’s done), and Kyoji agrees to be her guardian from now on. Kyoji and Monaca share a hug.

After talking it over with Kokoro and Yoruko, Toko agrees to go to the mental health facility that Kyoji recommended. She also lets Hajime take Syo’s geno-scissors. Hajime mails the scissors to the police, along with a note saying that Syo has been dealt with. Tsurugi gets upset when he receives them, as he still doesn’t like Kasugano or his methods, but Kouhei calms him down so that they can try to figure things out.

Sonia tells Hajime that she suspects that the geno-scissors they found in the parking garage may have been planted, as Syo would never leave evidence behind. 

Monaca reunites with the Warriors of Hope and apologizes to Nagisa for making him keep her secret. The Warriors are in various levels of shock. Nagisa breaks down crying, and Setsuka comforts him.

Umeko’s long-range detector has finally been finished, with help from Nagisa. While doing a test run of it, she discovers that Japan contains two other time travelers besides Hajime, Yoruko, and Sora. One is in Kumamoto, and one is in Shiojiri.

//I’m sorry, timeline anon ;;

//But thank you for this new update.

[dwellordream]

“...In the course of their early lives, many children were placed outside their parental home and thus forced to part from their parents. The duration of these separations could vary between a couple of days or weeks and a number of years. About a quarter of the autobiographers mention some form of boarding out during their early and late childhood before they departed for service or the university. 

The experience of Simonds D'Ewes, who, until the age of 16, was separated from his parents five times for periods totaling no less than twelve years, was to some extent unusual but not altogether unique, both among children of a similar social background - D’Ewes's father was a wealthy lawyer - as well as among those less well off. Thomas Shepard, the son of a small grocer in Towcester, Northamptonshire, was sent away to live with his grandparents when he was three years old, and after a couple of weeks he was placed with his uncle. Following his return to his parents, he was again boarded out for three years, between the ages of six and nine. 

Oliver Sansom, the son of a trader, was placed with his aunt between the ages of seven and ten, while Mary Rich, a gentleman's daughter, boarded with a gentlewoman from the age of three until she was eleven years old. John Whitting, Anthony Wood, Frances Dodshon, James Fretwell, Edward Coxere, Edward Terril, Simon Forman, Joseph Oxley, Phineas Pett, George Bewley and William Johnson all spent one, two, three or four years away from their parental homes, at least once, in their childhood, before they reached their mid-teens and, in the case of males, before they began a career as university students or apprentices. 

The reasons for these early separations between children and their parents varied greatly. Among autobiographers, the most common reason given was the schooling of children. As is by now well known, the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries witnessed a substantial increase in the number of schools available for elementary and higher education. Some schools, such as Eton and Winchester, were well-established institutions designed for the preparation of sons of the aristocracy for a career at Oxford or Cambridge; others among the great endowed grammar schools which had also gained in reputation became more fashionable among gentry and yeomen families. 

In most cases, sending a son to a prestigious school dictated boarding him away. The practice of 'tabling out' in towns was already well established in the sixteenth century, and the few dozens of major endowed grammar schools must have included substantial numbers of students who came from far away and who were tabled out during their studies, at times for quite substantial amounts of money. But even when a child was not sent to a particularly prestigious school, he was often boarded away from home for the purpose of schooling, and at times at a very young age. 

The most common reason for boarding one's son during his school years was the sheer distance of schools, any school, from one's home. The increase in the number of schools spread such institutions geographically, so that most market towns and many rural parishes had a school and only a small proportion of the rural population had no access to any kind of schooling. Nonetheless, even if this meant that there was a school approximately every twelve miles, many parents would still have found this distance too great, and would have boarded their children nearer to school. In large towns, and especially in the rapidly expanding capital, going to school might still require boarding out if the school was not located within walking distance of home.

…Finally, since the single largest category of schools was that of the feepaying unendowed schools, some parents found the local school simply too expensive and were forced to seek an alternative arrangement. Scattered around the country were women and schooldames who taught, without licence, reading and basic literacy, and as some autobiographies suggest, these women could offer boarding to sons of relatives and kin. 

…Outbreaks of plague could also bring parents to send their children away. In 1610 a plague broke out in Towcester, where Thomas Sheppard's parents lived, and young Thomas, who was three years old, was sent away the same day the plague broke out to live with his grandfather and grandmother in a remote place in the countryside. Later on he was placed with his uncle, and returned home only when the plague disappeared from Towcester. 

…While wealthier families could afford to travel and escape the disaster together, among poorer families separations of parents and children during times of plague must have been common. Plague occurred frequently, and its impact was often random, striking one community disastrously and avoiding another. Since most people recognized this randomness, sending one's child away, even only a few miles to another village, might have been a reasonable strategy; it could save a child from being infected. Moreover, the disease spread slowly and over a long period, so parents could be aware of the approaching danger the moment it arrived in a nearby parish or town, and react to protect their children. 

Since the mortality of infants and children under 10 years was exceptionally high throughout the period, and since contemporaries were fully aware that children were the most likely victims of plague, sending them away to relatives and to neigbouring villages, if parents could not afford to move themselves, must have been a common response. Parental death could also cause the departure of a child from his home. At the age of three, following the death of her mother, Mary Rich was sent away 'by the tender care of my indulgent father, that I might be carefully and piously educated', to 'a prudent and vertuous lady', with whom she lived until she was eleven.  

…Unlike earlier legislation regarding the poor, the Poor Laws of 1598 and 1601 did not specify a lower age limit at which children could be apprenticed,' no doubt to enable parish authorities to bind poor children even when very young. But such attempts were bound to confront difficulties, and not only because some parents objected to the forcing of their children into undesirable apprenticeships or labour in workhouses. Parish authorities recognised that children had to reach an age when they were 'fit to be placed forth' - as the churchwardens of the parish of St James in Bristol put it - before they were apprenticed. So in cases of destitute brothers and sisters, parish authorities could order only that the 'eldest of them to be bound apprentice'.

In the Southampton Poor-child Register, the overwhelming majority of children were 10 years old and above.' The result of this all was that quite a few, even among the orphaned and very poor, were boarded out for their maintenance and upbringing rather than placed as apprentices or agricultural and domestic servants. …Similar cases of children who were too young to be apprenticed and who were boarded out by parish authorities can be found elsewhere. According to Tim Wales, in Norfolk it was a common practice for parish officers to pay neighbours, who were often themselves very poor, for keeping paupers, among them orphaned children. It is difficult to estimate the frequency with which the practice of boarding out in childhood occurred.”

-  Ilana Krausman Ben-Amos, “ Early Lives: Separations and Work.” in Adolescence and Youth in Early Modern England

[hangryandlazy]

africa jul 19

wow lol it’s taken me 2 years to actually put this post together. a LOT has changed since then and it makes me immensely happy to recognize how lucky we were that we’d had 2 insane years of travelling right before the pandemic hit. but this post is not to dwell on that, so let’s get on with it!!

this was our amazing 2019 africa trip~

jun 30, 19 ••• we make our way from hong kong to the netherlands on klm airlines. i distinctly remember how impressed i was with the quality of service and the comfort of the 12ish hour flight. after around 16 hours of commute, we just want to stay in and chill, so we order room service and call it a night early. i recall wearing a fun t-shirt that read, “not to be rude, but shut the fuck up” which i personally find hilarious and endearing, but which made the guy at the front desk quite uncomfortable. lollll oops!

jul 1, 19 ••• yay! we had a full day alone in amsterdam. we (i) decided to walk from the hotel to the town center, because it’s fun experience new cities by exploring them on foot!! why not? you come across many things that you just couldn’t have planned to find.

look how beautiful the canals in amsterdam are! anywhere you turn, it’s picturesque.

we had lunch at wagamama because i saw that the avant garde vegan, gaz oakley, had done a collaboration with them at some point, so there are some guaranteed vegan options. we then walk around the bloemenmarkt and find our way to the cannabis college, which had 2 verdampers for rent! yesssss! i was so happy. 

we explored and walked around more, then stopped by a coffee shop to smoke a bit more. there was a lovely vegan cafe right next door, which i’d been eyeing when we went in to smoke, so we had a top up on coffee and matcha there. we saw a cute frenchie across the road and missed the dogs so...

we had dinner at this place called cafe frijdag (which means Friday!) which was delicious! so happy that amsterdam had vegan options for me

jul 2, 19 ••• we got up bright and early to meet my parents for breakfast and we go to the airport to catch our flight to kigali. about 10 hours later, we were buying sim cards at the kigali airport. we then checked in to the radisson for the night, and it was feeling very surreal to be in africa. i remember feeling anxious.

jul 3, 19 ••• today started on a somber note. we went to the kigali genocide memorial. i cried a lot, especially at the exhibit with the photographs of only a fraction of the victims during that time.

then we drove at turtle speed to our next hotel, which was a loooong long way away. we arrived at the lake kivu serena hotel in time for a very late lunch. the cuisine here consists of rice, tortilla-like wraps and papadum-esque crispy rolls.

this fruit tastes disgusting... it looks like a tomato but isn’t sweet at all. i only remember spitting it out, trying another piece from another plate, and still hating it.

thankfully everyone wanted to relax and take it easy, so we ordered in for dinner and spent the rest of the night chilling.

jul 4, 19 ••• we drove out to see the border between rwanda and the democratic republic of congo. we were told to be very careful about taking photos of the police officers there, so we were. it felt strange to take photos of the border, i’m clearly very ignorant of the relations and history. it was a very busy juncture, with a sea of people crossing this way and that, lots of cars bumbling about and a lot of fruit, as i recall. hahah.

we then drove out to see a makeshift hot spring. we were asked if we wanted to take a dip, but none of us wanted to..... felt bad saying no, but really not worth it, sorry.

https://vimeo.com/568059672  (okay, i’m unable to embed more videos so links will have to do until i figure out something better...)

we took a boat ride along the lake, but there wasn’t that much to see around there, it was pretty dirty and murky... reminded me of the hong kong harbor, with trash floating around. it was also freezing, so i wasn’t having any fun at all.

we went to the gym and worked out a little bit because there was a lot of time to kill in between returning to hotel and our private pre-planned bbq dinner on the beach. we were lucky enough to enjoy traditional rwandan dancing which was absolutely gorgeous.

jul 5, 19 ••• we spent most of our morning in the car, having crossed the border to the republic of uganda. we stopped by a cute cafe along the way for lunch, but it was a grueling 4-5 hour car ride to mahogany springs, which was our hotel for the gorilla trekking. we managed to arrive around 715pm, by which time it was pretty dark and scary outside. the other car had broken down twice, once in the dark as well, so spirits were low and there was a lot of muttering and grumbling done under people’s breath. everyone was ravenous by the time dinner was served, but despite how late it was, it was absolutely delicious and i was happy! (also grateful for our car not having broken down)

jul 6, 19 ••• we woke up VERY early in anticipation of gorilla trekking. we waited around the hotel lobby after some coffee and biscuits for breakfast. it was an awful lot of waiting, but i didn’t sense anything wrong until i saw how pissed off our tour guide looked. it turns out our permits had gotten stolen! probably bribes.

here we were mucking around, still anticipating gorilla trekking.

we didn’t let it slow us down though. i actually am grateful for how things turned out because we wouldn’t have gotten to experience uganda like that without this turn of events. we joined a community tour that showed us how tea is harvested, how coffee is grown, harvested and round, as well as how bananas may be used to make juice, beer and gin! very cool

african tea leaves

jackfruit??

these are flowers from the coffee tree

the different stages of the coffee plant

this is henry, he owns this coffee plantation. here, henry shows us how to the use this contraption, the purpose of which is to grind coffee beans into powder

here henry is, sifting the coffee powder

here are my parents, having the time of their life (lol at my dad)

fresh bananas

these are the different stages of a banana’s life: from raw to ripe to fermenting. it can be made into juice and liquor.

we then visited a local school, where we were entertained by kids from kindergarten to 6th grade. we learned about their mission and goals to educate the younger generations by providing classrooms and a dining hall and even dorms for boarding. the singing and dancing was BRILLIANT. loved every single second of it. wish i’d joined in and not cared about what anyone thought.

we stopped by a women’s community center and saw a lot of cool crafts and art. that was on the way to the batwa pgymy tribe. we learned how they integrated with the batwa community. they showed us some dances they have dedicated to the gorillas, for which they are very grateful because it brings tourists in and therefore gives them an income. they showed us how to use a bow and arrow to hunt, and how they weave baskets and make handicrafts.

alan with the leader of the pgymy tribe

one of our guides spotted 2 chameleons, which was super impressive. he even brought the chameleon down close to us so that we could see it. i won’t ever understand how he was able to spot it in the wild, and from so far away as well.

we returned to the lodge and had lunch. the veggie stir fry was pretty dang good. it was served with posho, which is a maize bread, beans, and also matate (???) which reminded me a lot of plantain. back at the hotel, we chilled (without tv or wifi) until dinner. alan fell asleep, and i kept myself busy sorting out photos. dinner was early, and our night was early because we were promised gorilla trekking in the morning!

delicious!

jul 7, 19 ••• we were up and ready to leave by 7am. we were in the clear! we drove a little bit to the bwindi impenetrable national park for some entertainment (dancing and singing) from local students and a hilarious briefing on what to expect and do’s and don’ts of the trek. 

we then had separate meetings within our trekking groups. ours was quite big, with 10 tourists, because michael and our guides had spent HOURS the day before handling our stolen permits. an exception was made to accommodate us all, so our group consisted of the starke’s, alan, kerstin, a couple from oregon, and an english family. we had to get in another car and drive a bit to the mountain, where we met our porters and then began our trek!

the hike up was difficult, and at times i legit feared for my life because the mud/rocks were loose and one wrong step would have had us tumbling down the edge of the mountain... and that was me at age 28!! cannot imagine how my parents were feeling...

alan with meddie

as we made our way to the gorilla family, we encountered a solo young male who was soooo friendly, he cut across our group, like right down the middle, and he even reached out and touched my mom on her jacket! it was wild that a gorilla was that close to us, and then he left as quickly as he had joined.

this is the photo my mom managed to take when the young gorilla male was right next to her

we kept on hiking and found a large. our guide, meddie, told us that we were lucky to have found such a large family doing a whole bunch of different activities: we saw mothers nursing their babies, babies swinging from the trees and playing with one another, sub adult males beating their chests and other members of the family eating and feeding. we even got to watch as a silverback gorilla pulled a very healthy poop out of its butt, and we ran into him snacking again later on.

on the way down, it started raining a little bit. we all slipped at one point or another, but it was especially dangerous for my dad so we all had to slow down our pace a little bit to match his speed. thank god he had a porter there to help him out and save him. 

we returned to the same place as where we had started our morning for a debriefing, and we each received a certificate to show that we had been on this trek. we waited around a little bit for the other group to arrive, and were once again very grateful that our experience was much more pleasant. one lady in the other group had to leave the trek on a stretcher, and the others were caught in the rain on their way to the gorillas, so it must have been a cold and awful experience on their end. 

us after the successful completion of our gorilla trek!!

we headed to a local inn nearby where we had a late lunch and could change into dry clothes. we then drove a bumpy 4 hours to mweya safari lodge, located inside queen elizabeth national park. we made a couple of stops along the way (one of which was in the middle of nowhere so that people could go pee out in the open where animals are potentially roaming around?!?!?) and when we finally arrived, it was already 830/9ish pm.... we insisted to order room service because we were pooped, and we got showered and hit the hay.

this cute sign was outside the lodge!

this super old school cash register was at the lodge too

jul 8, 19 ••• today started off with a game drive, early in the morning! 

we drove around the gorgeous park and saw elephants, warthogs, antelope, eagles, all sorts of bird and butterflies, buffalo and weird-looking lemur or ferret creatures. we thought it was great, but some other members of the group were underwhelmed. 

this is the view from the car we sat in for the safari

this gorgeous tree houses sooo many bird’s nests! do you see them?

cute antelope we saw on the tour

after lunch at the hotel, we went on a boat tour around the kazinga channel. i think it was called lake edward? we saw many animals again, including crocodile, elephants, buffalo, all sorts of birds, and hippos.

favorite photo of my parents ¨̮

we followed a few elephant cuties along the bank. it drizzled for a little bit in between.

dinner was delicious. it was a great buffet, although i was severely grossed out by the ants that joined us on the dining table.

there were so many animals on the grounds of the lodge. don’t be fooled by how cute these guys look, we saw them fight over raw meat at some point! we also saw a warthog stroll around.

jul 9, 19 ••• we were up bright and early today for a quick breakfast before heading right on out. on the way to entebbe, we stopped by a local motel for lunch. the service was SUPER slow (maybe because we had such a huge group together!) but it was delicious and worth the wait! i ordered a coleslaw and avocado vinaigrette (this was THE HUGEST AVOCADO i’ve ever seen in my life?!?!?), a veggie biryani and some of paul’s aloo matar. we then filed back into our cars for several more hours of “african massage” to the next destination. had an early night, i think we ordered room service to the hotel room and tried to get our butts to bed as early as possible because it was another EARLY day the morning after.

we stopped at the equator in uganda to take some photos, of course!

i was sooo happy to be able to order room service! we felt like we were finally back to civilization... 🥺 we had wifi and tv and hot water... ugh it was amazing

jul 10, 19 ••• my alarm was set for 4am this morning.... 🥲😅 we left the hotel at 5am for the airport and obviously i was tired and grumpy and just in a crappy mood overall hahahah. our first flight was barely 45 minutes.... to mbarara i’m guessing?? i was assigned a middle seat on my own originally but no one was in the aisle seat so i moved over woohoo! our first layover was 2-3 hours, not too bad. we hung around at the lounge area. 

our second flight was to harare. alan and i managed to snag 2 joined seats towards the back end of the plane so that we could watch conan’s traevel shows on his ipad. there was a pretty scary drop when we were descending imto harare. i think we just stayed on the plane for about half an hour so some people could get on the plane and join.

we flew about 3 hours more to cape town, and we were EXCITED to arrive. it was a hell of a time checking in, and it was a nicer hotel in a nice area so we decided to just stay in and order room service again. we had a slow night and it was SOOOO needed. cape town felt a lot closer to the first world and we were enjoying and appreciating it to the max. we even started playing pokemon go and its harry potter-themed equivalent (oops forgot the name), but to be fair, we didn’t get cell phone service everywhere we went, so it would cut on and off.

jul 11, 19 ••• eek, cape town was COOOOLD! luckily i brought a jacket along, we really really needed to cover up and stay warm! got to sleep in a bit, we left by 830am to drive to the pebble beach by the water to take some gorgeous photos. we stopped by chapman’s peak for another photo op, then drove to boulders beach in simon’s town to see the penguins!! it was such a dream, loved every second of it.

i believe this was chapman’s peak??

what a model

this was at the pebble beach at the cape of good hope. 

saw a cute ostrich on the way somewhere

next we went to cape point. we took the funicular to the top, then hiked up to the lighthouse. we took pots of great pics but omg it was EVEN MORE freezing there. we had lunch at the two oceans restaurant. fancy and delicious! the calamari was bomb, the arancini was alright, but the main of chickpea and mushrooms was delish. after lunch we headed right on back to the hotel.

when i said it was cold, i wasn’t joking... it was FREEZING at the top. i had a horrible time because i don’t do that well in the cold

alan and i walked over to woolworths to get water and makeup remover and snacks. on the way back we stopped by PLANT for dinner. i was sooo excited to try out their vegan fast food, so i ordered a lot of the menu. we got the quinoa salad, mac and cheez, seitan lasagna, schawarma, pot stickers, siu mai, spag bolognese, tiramisu, milk tart and a bunch of other random vegan snacks. i was in HEAVEN. even though some of the stuff was cold by the time we got back to the hotel and ate, it still tasted DELICIOUS. i was soooo impressed.

this was the lasagna. omfg i need an encore of this restaurant one day!!! wish i knew how to cook like this

jul 12, 19 ••• today we went to a wine blending workshop at grande provence winery. the first step was to blend 3 different mixtures. after tasting them all, we decided the last blend was the winner, with 40% zinfandel, 10% shiraz and 50% cabernet. so then we blended up a big bottle of it, corked it, thew on a hand-signed label, and then walked around the beautiful indoor and outdoor art galleries.

this was our group!

wine blending is literally mixing different wines together in different proportions and figuring out which you like the taste of the best

there was a lot of cute art at the winery! i loved all the dogs and greyhounds around the property. these 3 dancing pigs came a close second

we drove a little way for lunch at another beautiful vineyard. i had a charcoal ciabatta, tomato quinoa salad, root veggie risotto and steamed veggies on the side. we skipped the wine tasting because our lunch overran a bit and our bus driver buford said that the traffic would be pretty heavy on a friday afternoon and it wouldn’t be worth it to be stuck on the bus. so we just walked around the cute little town we were at, franschhoek (??)

there was a lot of cute art and small local shops around this town! we strolled around and got some souvenirs ¨̮

love this

we had a dinner booked way ahead at fyn restaurant. it was stunningly delicious. i loved every single course and was thoroughly impressed.

UGHHHHH just soooo good.

jul 13, 19 ••• FINALLY we had a day to sleep in!!!! we let our group know the night before that we didn’t want to join the walking tour around the city. we woke up and made our way to the company’s garden, which was directly next to our hotel. we played harry potter wizards unite and ran into the tour group. my mom told me later on it was a good decision of ours not to join haha.

we walked to addis in cape for an authentic ethiopian meal experience. we washed our hands at the table, ate the whole meal with our hands, and finally i was able to taste injera. it was 100% teff injera and it did not disappoint. i ordered a vegan platter while alan got a combo. the amount of food was PERFECT for us, we finished every single thing. 

we ordered dessert but the hot berries never showed up and the ice cream was interestingly very gummy and very very sweet. the coffee was strong and served with a beautiful platter.

after that, we needed to walk our full tummies off. we headed to the waterfront, where there were many shops and stalls in indoor and outdoor malls. it was just a really good time walking around there and we saw soooo many things. there was bubble tea in south africa, a yogurt bar that made me sooo happy, dogs were up for adoption, and a bootleg jabbawockeez performance at the city square. we walked back to the hotel after that and got ready for bed.

jul 14, 19 ••• we woke up at 430am to head to the airport by 530am. we caught our first flight from cape town to johannesburg, then transferred to a direct flight back to hong kong. it was a TIRING trip but wow, the memories!! really want to go to back soon

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Carl Nassib & UEFA

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – CARL NASSIB

“I hope that one day videos like this and the whole coming out process are just not necessary," said Carl Nassib, the Las Vegas Raiders’ defensive end after revealing that he is gay.

In making his admission, during Pride month no less, Nassib becomes the first active National Football League player to come out publicly.

Nassib added: "I'm a pretty private person so I hope that you guys know that I'm really not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important.

"I'm going to do my best to cultivate a culture that's accepting and compassionate."

He followed up with a written message admitting that he had “agonised over this moment for the last 15 years” and it was only after he received so much encouragement from family and friends that he decided to go ahead.

“I am also incredibly thankful for the NFL, my coaches, and fellow players for their support,” Nassib wrote. “I would not have been able to do this without them. From the jump I was greeted with the utmost respect and acceptance.”

Nassib is also donating £100,000 to the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention service for LGBTQ youth in America, a creditable gesture which highlights his understanding of the struggles many young people face.

Amit Paley, CEO & Executive Director of The Trevor Project, gave thanks to Nassib for his generosity and said: “The Trevor Project is grateful to Carl Nassib for living his truth and supporting LGBTQ youth. Coming out is an intensely personal decision, and it can be an incredibly scary and difficult one to make. We hope that Carl’s historic representation in the NFL will inspire young LGBTQ athletes across the country to live their truth and pursue their dreams. 

“At a time when state lawmakers are actively trying to restrict transgender and nonbinary youth’s participation in school sports, this news should serve as a clarion call for greater LGBTQ inclusion in the locker room and on the field.”

Of those who have admitted that they are gay in the past, Michael Sam came out before being drafted into the league in 2014, but never played a regular season NFL game.

Roy Simmons, who played for the Giants and Washington in the 1980s, was one of a number of players to come out after retiring. He told the New York Times in 2003 that he did not feel safe announcing that he was gay while he was in the NFL.

“The NFL has a reputation,” he said at the time, “and it’s not even a verbal thing – it’s just known. You are gladiators; you are male; you kick butt.”

Hall of fame quarterback Warren Moon revealed that gay players had long been a part of the NFL. He tweeted: “As long as they helped us win and were great teammates- their sexual preference was never a issue..

“We live in a different time now where diversity is much more accepted. Cheers Carl, and I hope this lets other athletes know, its OK to say who you are...”

The Raiders tweeted: “Proud of you, Carl” while club owner Mark Davis played down the significance of the announcement and said: “He’s a Raider. If he’s happy, I’m happy. It takes courage. I thought we got to the point where this wasn’t (a story). It doesn’t change my opinion of him as a man or as a Raider.”

The NFL was swift to offer their support for Nassib with Commissioner Roger Goodell saying: “The NFL family is proud of Carl for courageously sharing his truth today. Representation matters.

“We share his hope that someday soon statements like his will no longer be newsworthy as we march toward full equality for the LGBTQ+ community. We wish Carl the best of luck this coming season.”

NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith added: "Our union supports Carl and his work with the Trevor Project is proof that he -- like our membership -- is about making his community and this world a better place not for themselves, but for others."

Certainly 20 years ago, Nassib’s announcement may have ended his career based on the macho culture within the NFL locker rooms but the fact that his shirt was the top-selling NFL jersey on its network after his announcement according to sports apparel retailer Fanatics.

Nassib is now a poster boy for a new era in American Football and it is to his credit that he is embracing the challenge.

"I do not know all the history behind our courageous LGBTQ community," he added, "but I am eager to learn and to help continue the fight for equality and acceptance."

MISS – UEFA

The football community has been largely united in support for the LGBTQ+ community recently, from European players donning rainbow laces and calling out blatant acts of homophobia.

However, UEFA have been criticised for not explicitly challenging or condemning homophobia during Pride month.

German captain Manuel Neuer’s decision to wear a rainbow-coloured armband was initially banned by UEFA before they quickly changed their position.

UEFA then last week rejected a request to illuminate the Allianz Arena in Munich with rainbow colours during the EURO 2020 Group F match between Germany and Hungary.

There was suspicion that the proposal was a response to new Hungarian legislation, which has banned the promotion of homosexuality to those under the age of 18.

In a statement posted on social media, UEFA defended their decision by saying: “UEFA is proud to wear the colours of the rainbow. It is a symbol that embodies our core values, promoting everything that we believe in.

“Some people have interpreted UEFA’s decision to turn down the city of Munich’s request to illuminate the Munich stadium in rainbow colours for a Euro 2020 match as ‘political’. On the contrary, the request itself was political, linked to the Hungarian football team’s presence in the stadium for this evening’s match with Germany.”

The major of Munich, Dieter Reiter, was one of many who saw this as a missed opportunity from UEFA and he had hoped that the illuminations during the match would “send a visible sign of solidarity” with Hungary’s LGBTQ+ community.

The Germany and Hungary game finished 2-2 and summed up the mood from the footballing community perfectly towards homophobia and UEFA’s decision.

A pitch invader took to the field with a rainbow flag as the Hungarian National anthem blared out around the stadium, while Leon Goretza celebrated his late equaliser for Germany by running over to away fans and making a heart gesture with his hands, conveying the simple message that homophobia will not be tolerated.

Undoubtedly, UEFA have not a strong and clear position regarding homophobia throughout the EURO 2020 tournament.

Earlier, during Hungary’s opening Group F game against Portugal in Budapest, a set of Hungarian fans were seen holding a sign that read “Anti-LMBTQ”.

UEFA had an opportunity to react instantly to confirm the LGBTQ+ community as equals in society and in football but its delays had the result of many feeling unwelcome.

It took five days for UEFA to release a short statement on their website on the incident and no action has since been taken against Hungary.

The delay meant the message was not instantly dismissed, which suggests UEFA do not take the issue seriously enough.

Joe White, a spokesperson for the LGBTQ+ fans group 3LionsPride, has criticised UEFA’s messaging. In a statement, he said: “UEFA will tout themselves as supporters of equality and rainbow-wash their brand when it suits them, but rarely proactively engage or make improvements for LGBTQ+ people involved in the game.

“LGBTQ+ people across the game are not able to enjoy football when they have to face hatred in stadia and online.

“It’s clear that UEFA once again has its head firmly buried in the sand and is no ally of the LGBTQ+ community. Until UEFA start taking serious action against discrimination, the beautiful game is once again allowing its ugly side to rear its head.”

The rainbow symbol in football stadia reassures to LGBTQ+ individuals watching EURO 2020 that they are welcome in football. It demonstrates that attitudes towards homosexuality are improving within the sport.

Without the rainbow, particularly during Pride Month, those messages are lost.

Germany has led a continental call for greater LGBTQ+ unity throughout football. In the days following the UEFA Allianz Arena rejection, officials across Germany ignored the guidance, as stadia in Frankfurt, Augsburg and Nuremberg, as well as in Belgium, joined Munich by lighting up in rainbow colours.

Elsewhere, UEFA sponsor Booking.com, will use a rainbow outline in all of their pitch-side adverts for Round of 16 matches, including Holland’s game against the Czech Republic in Budapest.

Ahead of the tie in the Hungarian capital, Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte said that Hungary has “no place in the EU,” unless they retract their homophobic laws.

UEFA have demonstrated that the rainbow symbol will not be universally accepted in football, which is hardly consistent with their own claims to be pro-LGBTQ+.

The inconsistency shown by European football’s governing body during Euro 2020 underlines the fact that they have a long way to go to regain the confidence of the LGBTQ+ community.

Perhaps it is time for UEFA to go back to the drawing board and come up with a consistent policy which allows freedom of expression in the promotion of sexual equality.

[dishearteningmediocrity]

I haven't seen anyone post this interview with Colin Clive before, and it's quite a good one. So anyway, here's an article from the Birmingham News-Age-Herald on March 4, 1934, written by Gladys Baker. The text might be kind of hard to read, so here's a transcript. (I didn't transcribe the other article about May Robson, so apologies to all you May Robson fanatics out there; let me know and I will do it):

“Gotham’s Matinee Idol: Colin Clive” By Gladys Baker, Special Correspondent to The Birmingham News-Age-Herald

New York--Today when no man is a hero either in fiction or the theater unless he has robbed a bank or murdered his grandmother it is a welcome relief to find a man who is a “gentleman” in all that the word implies.

I am speaking of Colin Clive. His personality and very fine work as the leading man in “The Lake,” the Katharine Hepburn play, made me insinuate my way back stage to his dressing room to find out if he (like the very careful Camille) were two different persons “off stage and on.”

I found a charming, ingenuous young man who looks as if there were so much more he could say--if he would.

My job was to make him say it!

Clive is tall. His eyes are very deep blue and very alive. Hard eyes to fathom. His manner rather shy, but delightful. After offering cigarets and a highball (Englishmen I’ve noticed have a sense of Southern hospitality!) we started talking about the theater.

The inevitable question: “Why did you go on the stage?”

“Why does anybody do anything? My family were all army people--members of the Bengal Lancers--and I was in the army until a smashed knee wrote finis to that.” (and now I knew the reason of that limp which has been described by some as a romantic pose).

“Then I landed in London job hunting. That is the obvious reason, but of course, knee or no knee, I would eventually have come to it. That inner urge that makes a man paint, write, or go in for sculpturing, was unconsciously driving me in that direction.”

He smiled--no, laughed. “Lord, but I was pretty awful in the beginning. Only, 10 years of repertory cured me of that--I mean my worse faults.”

“You believe in repertory, then?”

“It is the only thing. It is necessary, it is absolutely essential if a person wants to become a first-rate actor. Without repertory background I would never have dared attempt ‘Journey’s End’!”

It was Mr. Clive’s interpretation of the leading character in “Journey’s End” which established him in London’s inner circle known as “Artists of the Theater.”

He belongs to the thinkers of the stage. He can stay perfectly quiet during a scene and makes his audience think with him. He plays always with a fine restraint and a sympathy which communicates itself definitely. He is one of those rare persons who can play an entire scene with his back to the footlights and still dominate the stage.

Actresses have told me of his great generosity--speaking in the vernacular of stage folks--he does not try to steal the show.

*****

He is modest, almost to a fault, and is embarrassed at praise. I spoke of his excellent work in the movies. He said: “Sheer luck. I really don’t know anything about movie technique--the theater, perhaps--but I’ve been doing that for 16 years.”

Nevertheless he has made such a name for himself in the cinema that in the last six weeks three of the major companies have been bidding for his services. Warner Brothers won. He leaves Sunday morning for Hollywood and the Warner lot.

“Monday, I start the ‘Key,’ with Edna Best and beyond the first scene I’m entirely ignorant of the play. What a marvelous country you are!” He laughed and then grew serious again. “That is all right for me, for I’m a hardened sinner, but for beginners who suddenly find themselves facing big parts with no experience to help them, it is not an easy task. Those who have the real stuff win but they are the exception. The screen like the stage is beginning to demand experience from its actors.”

“Acting is a whole time job. There is more to it than the casual observer would think. The layman doesn’t realize for instance that the well modulated voice that he hears from the stage or the screen is the result of many tedious hours spent in coaching under voice culturists. The rhythm, grace of movement is not just a gift from the gods but is gained from well trained muscles--the outcome of daily sports or calisthenics.”

“Don’t you ever feel the need of relaxation?” I asked.

“Yes,” he smiled, “actors are only human after all. I find mine mostly in reading.”

This hobby was not surprising for I had been told that whenever a friend of his becomes ill that instead of the usual boxes from confectioners and florists he sends books by his favorite authors: Victor Hugo, Anatole France and Voltaire.

Noting a bottle of brandy on his dressing table, I asked him if he found liquor necessary as a stimulant for his work.

“No, the actor who must get his inspiration from a bottle of liquor finds himself in the same place that a business man of the same habits would find himself in. For acting is a business and dependability one of the chief assets. However, that doesn’ t mean that I’m a teetotler--drink has a good place in life.”

***

Among his best friends are Edna Best, Herbert Marshall, and Noel Coward--all of whom are his near neighbors in Kent, where he has a country place. He’s really a gregarious person. He refuses even to have breakfast alone. Found in that position he postpones the breaking of his fast until a congenial companion is annexed.

Another sport he enjoys is prizefighting. In fact, his first choice for the film-of-the-year would be “The Prizefighter and the Lady” (which showed in Birmingham as “The Conquering Sex”). It is testimony to his acting adaptability that he came straight from parts in musical comedy (“Rose Marie” and “Show Boat”) and created the dramatic role of Capt. Stanhope in “Journey’s End.” After which he played in “Overture,” a play written by one of his closest friends--the late William Bolitho.

This adaptability extends likewise to his geographical adjustment. “For the last six years I’ve practically commuted between London, New York and Hollywood. If it’s possible, I always go by plane.” He is one of the few movie celebrities on the coast who refuses to sign a long-term contract. One picture is all any company can be sure of his services. Tactfully he admitted that he disliked playing in the cinema. “One never gets the same reaction from the screen as you do from having an audience right close up.”

I ventured to ask about the “leading lady”--not of the stage or cinema--but of his own life.

“She’s not easy to describe,” he said earnestly. “I suppose you would call her a brunette, for her hair is dark, very dark and slightly bobbed except about the ears; she has deep, understanding eyes…”

“Oh” excitedly, “an Italian beauty?”

He threw back his head and laughed, really in a most un-British gesture. “No, to tell the truth this lady who rules my life is from Scotland--”

“Oh!”

Another merry laugh: “You see I’m speaking of my little Scotch terrier, ‘Brenda,’ who really makes a slave of me.”

Having had his joke he told me about his wife. She is a charming French woman who prefers life in Europe to “commuting” about the world with her celebrated husband. It is not as unusual as it sounds that Clive should have chosen a wife with Gallic ancestry since his own early life was passed entirely among French people. In fact, until he was 6 years old his vocabulary included not a single word of English.

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 1

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

This story is, as advertised, fucked up. It’s inspired by the recent influx of Dark!Steve and Dark!Tony fics and there is a lot of potentially triggering material so please read with caution. Our heroes are not heroes in this story; they’re criminals with limited to no consciences. 

There weren’t many things that Penny Parker could really rely on. Her paychecks fluctuated unfathomably every two weeks, the electricity bill was never consistent, and for some reason even when she drove her car dry it never took the same amount of gas to fill the tank. Peter’s class schedule seemed to change every time she asked about it, his after-school club activities were never on the same day, and why did she have to sign this report card but not last quarter’s, Pete? Consistency was something she’d learned not to hope for. Mostly she kept her fingers crossed that things would somehow work out to her advantage, day by day.

For the most part, it did. She’d dropped out of high school when uncle Ben died to start working, to help support aunt May and Peter. It had taken three years to get her GED between the three jobs she worked, but she managed. GED accomplished, she checked off that box on her mental list and signed up for night classes at the local community college. It was hard, but she could make it work. Then aunt May had died.

Custody of 14 year old Peter Parker had been hotly contested, as Penny had only been 21 at the time of aunt May’s death. Technically, she was an adult. She had two jobs, a steady income, an apartment, a decent credit score. Somehow, like most things in her life, it had just kind of worked out and she was granted sole custody of her younger brother. She’d dropped her night classes, picked up a third job overnight, and kept her fingers crossed that social services never asked why her “two bedroom apartment” only had one bedroom.

Semi-decent luck was the only thing that really kept her life running, and by extension Peter’s. She knew it would wear off someday, she’d been granted the lion’s share of good fortune in Queens when it came to looking after her brother and it wasn’t super fair. She just didn’t think it would end so spectacularly. The end of the luck was supposed to be a low, painful fizzle.

Instead, it was a flashbang that started with Peter acting like a cokehead. Peter had never been a particularly twitchy kid; Penny had leeched all the chaotic energy from their mother’s womb and left the intelligence behind for her kid brother. Over the course of several months though, he’d begun jumping at the drop of a hat. Penny would turn the corner into the kitchen and startle him so badly he’d have an asthma attack. If she even glanced at his phone when a notification lit up the screen he’d lose his mind, accusing her of not respecting his privacy and dart away into his room. Asking if he needed anything from the store was suddenly the Spanish Inquisition and god forbid she offer him a ride to school.

Because she’d graciously left all the IQ points for Peter, Penny had a tendency to do stupid things. Like assume Peter’s behavior was because he had gotten a girlfriend or was just going through usual teenage boy hormones that made him act like a jackass. Luckily the dumbass wasn’t actually a cokehead, considering he still blanched whenever she had weed in the house, but fuck if he wasn’t acting like a freak. It came to a head when she happened to be coming home from her second job at the same time he was getting home from one of his after-school club meetings.

She hadn’t been sure what she was seeing at first. It was definitely Peter, he’d hit a growth spurt finally and started to put on some height and muscle mass but was still a lanky little shit, and he was arguing with a man in a suit who was walking next to him. Both were being followed by a slow-moving car with blacked out windows and no front license plate. Peter’s body language was uncomfortable, arms crossed over his chest, shoulders angled away from the man and tucked in, eyes down.

When Penny called out to Peter, the man had gotten into the backseat of the black car which promptly drove away. Her brother had gone red in the face and ran up the steps to their apartment complex without waiting for her to catch up, locking himself in the bedroom and refusing to come out when she followed him in. She’d given up on being the casual guardian, the cool big sister who let him live his life. Penny had begged him to come out, to tell her what was going on. She just wanted to help, how could she help him if he wouldn’t talk to her?

It had started with simple answers, after Penny had started to cry, through the door.

Who was that man? Tony Stark.

What did he want with Peter? To offer him a job.

Why were they arguing? Because Peter rejected the offer.

He was lying. Penny knew what it sounded like, the way his voice changed. She’d been glued to his side since their parents died when she was 13 and it had only gotten worse with uncle Ben’s passing. Peter was lying through his teeth and Penny had no idea why, no idea what to do. Helplessness had settled over her shoulders like a lead blanket, her chest tightening. If Peter was willing to lie to her, then whatever was happening with Tony Stark was really, really bad. And she had no fucking idea what to do.

***

“JARVIS, bring up Peter’s file.”

The voice cut through the silence of the car like a shot, Happy glancing at the man in the backseat through the rearview mirror questioningly. Usually his boss was in a pretty good mood after having harassed the high school kid he’d become obsessed with over the last several months, but the tone of his voice said otherwise.

“Of course, sir,” the AI responded dutifully from the Stark phone, a document appearing on the screen, “anything in particular, sir?”

“Peter told me he was emancipated after his aunt’s death and that he lived alone. I think my boy’s lying to me, J,” Tony’s voice was lower than usual, irritation apparent in his stony expression.

“Straight home, boss?” Happy asked quietly, humming in response when the man in the backseat nodded.

“Records show that Peter Parker is under the guardianship of one Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, relation: sister.”

“So he did lie to me,” Tony ran a hand over his goatee, sighing through the motion in disappointment before anger overcame him again, “You mean he lives in that shithole with someone? She’s supposed to be taking care of him, that place is a fucking drug den!”

“The police have indeed responded to 23 calls involving illicit drug use in that apartment complex in the last 10 days, sir. Another 10 calls were answered in response to domestic violence, 5 calls in regards to loitering, 7 calls in—”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” he waved his hand impatiently before the AI could recite every reason his boy shouldn’t be living in such a fucking pigsty, “tell me more about Penelope.”

The name was said with enough venom that Happy’s eyebrows went up, glancing once again at his boss in the rearview mirror as he navigated through the congested New York City streets.

“Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, born in New York City, New York. Dropped out of high school at 16, accomplished a GED at 19. Currently employed at Little Hands Daycare, Starbucks Coffee, and Kroger’s. Owner of a 2001 Toyota Camry, license plate 605-CEG, rents a one-bedroom apartment in Queens for $1,200 a month, credit score of 713, 1 speeding ticket, no medical insurance—”

“Stop,” Tony grit his teeth, tilting his head from side to side to crack his neck, “a one-bedroom apartment. No medical insurance. Didn’t even graduate from fucking high school. How the hell did she get custody of my boy?”

“Custody of Peter Parker went to his closest living relative, with the stipulation that social services kept up regular visits on account of the young age of the guardian. Records show that visits kept up for roughly 3 months before ending.”

“3 fucking months, those useless fucks,” it came out as a snarl, “look up the case workers, I want their names. And their heads. On a platter. Get a lock on their wifi signal, I want to know what they’re doing at all times. I already have a tracker on Peter, hack into the GPS on Penelope’s phone and keep track of her too.”

“The phone number listed on Ms. Parker’s work forms is a prepaid burner with no GPS capabilities. I can use triangulation to pick up on her general location when she connects to cell phone towers.”

“Seriously, a burner phone? Is she a drug dealer?” Tony’s eyes shot up to meet Happy’s in the mirror, “Oh my god is my baby’s guardian a drug dealer?”

“There is no evidence of any misconduct on the part of Ms. Parker, sir,” JARVIS stated calmly, despite the edge of infuriated panic from Tony, “she has no arrest record or suspicious activity.”

“That doesn’t mean anything and you know it JARVIS,” Tony pressed his head back into the cushion behind him, squeezing his eyes shut, “I’ve got to get him out of there, sooner rather than later. Happy, once we get home, start coordinating with Rhodey for extraction plans. JARVIS, keep an eye on any activity on their WiFi network.”

“Shall I connect to the webcam on the laptop computer, sir?”

“And the camera on my baby boy’s phone,” on his own phone, Tony opened his picture gallery to swipe through the images he already had of Peter, a small smile taking over his mouth in the process, “Keep any recorded video for at least 24 hours, let me know if anything interesting happens.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Happy, let’s get everyone ready for my boy’s homecoming,” Tony stated, shifting in his seat as they pulled into the private garage beneath Stark Tower, “its coming up sooner than we anticipated.”

***

Penny had started googling Tony Stark the moment she realized Peter wasn’t going to part with anymore information. The longer she sat in front of the laptop, the more panic began to grow in her chest.

Tony Stark was a bad man. A very, very bad man who made very, very dangerous weapons and had lots of very, very important and powerful people in his back pocket. There was no real evidence, of course. None of his misdeeds could be proven in court, none of the weapons he invented could be traced to his company, none of the people he practically owned would even admit to knowing the man. He was incredibly powerful and so fucking dangerous that Penny’s teeth ached at the thought of him even being near her baby brother.

“Fuck,” she muttered dragging both hands through her dark brown hair, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

There was no reason for a man like Tony Stark to be offering Peter a job. Sure, Peter was smarter than anyone she’d ever met. The kid’s IQ had to be off the charts, he’d gotten into that insanely expensive private science school in Midtown. But there was no reason for Tony Stark to recruit a high school senior, even if he was a budding genius.

“What are you doing Pen?” Peter’s voice was raspy from crying and the sound made Penny jump, turning in her seat to look at the teenager behind her.

“I’m…,” she glanced guiltily at the laptop before sighing, “I didn’t know who Tony Stark was off the top of my head. I had to look him up.”

Peter quickly reached out and closed the internet browser before shutting the lid of the laptop, running his hand through his hair in a way rather reminiscent of his sister, “You shouldn’t google him, he’s got enough of an ego that he probably gets an alert every time his name comes up.”

Penny bit her lip, rubbing her hands together in her lap before gathering as much courage as she could and pushing out the chair at the table next to her, “we need to talk, Pete. I need you to tell me the truth about why he was talking to you, no bullshit. I can’t help you if I don’t know the situation.”

The teenager hesitated for all of 30 seconds before dropping into the chair, his expression one of dismay, “I can’t tell you anything, Penny. Its too dangerous, he could hurt you—”

“I’m not worried about me, Peter,” she cut him off, hand rising when he started to open his mouth again, “Stop. Listen. Its my job to take care of you, to keep you safe. Start from the top, how did you meet Tony Stark?”

Another hesitation, eyes darting away from her face before he answered, “on accident. He saw me on the street, I was looking for a job at one of the coffee shops near school.”

Penny held her tongue, refusing to lecture him on getting a job and derailing the current conversation, “and he approached you?”

“Yeah,” Peter rubbed a hand over the back of his head, “Asked me my name, about my uniform. Asked me if I liked science since I went to a special school. I thought it was cool, he runs a research and development laboratory. Then he started… showing up in different places.”

“You think he was in those places deliberately?” The question was a quiet prompt when Peter seemed to clam up and he nodded in response.

“It was weird, but I… I liked the attention,” it was whispered, tears gathering in his eyes as shame built in his chest, “He told me how, how smart I was and how impressed he was by me. Talked to me about science and then just… about me. He wanted to know what kinds of things I liked to do for fun, what kind of movies I liked. I kind of thought we were friends but then…”

“Its okay, Peter,” Penny reached out and grabbed both of his hands in hers carefully, tears in her eyes as well, “what happened then?”

“He started getting handsy,” he murmured, a shiver going down his spine, “at first it was just, just like him putting his hand on my back when we walked through a door. Or he’d put his arm over the back of my chair and touch my shoulder. It was weird because he was an adult but… he’s handsome, Pen. He’s really, really handsome and I was excited because he was interested in me for some reason but now I realize that it wasn’t good and it’s not good and I shouldn’t have let him and I’m so sorr—”

“Don’t say sorry, Pete,” a quiet sob escaped Penny’s mouth and she covered it with her hand, the other still clutching at his, “Don’t apologize, you have done nothing wrong. Oh God, Peter, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I noticed that you’d started acting differently but I passed it off. Oh my God, I should’ve talked to you so much sooner. I should’ve asked what was going on. How long has this been going on, Peter?”

He was quiet for so long that another sob was ripped from Penny’s lips and she shot forward, dragging her little brother into a nearly suffocating hug. Fuck, fuck how long had that piece of shit been conditioning her little brother. That fucking pedophile how long had he been stalking her little brother. Fuck the age of consent in New York, fuck the law, Peter was a baby—he was a fucking child.

“You don’t have to answer, Peter, its okay,” it was a soft whisper, her hand carding through his hair while he cried against her, “I’m going to figure something out, okay? I don’t know what yet, but I’m going to make sure that he leaves you alone. I’m going to take care of this, I’m going to take care of you.”

“You can’t, Penny,” his cries were breathy and quiet, “you can’t take care of me this time, he’ll hurt you—”

Penny couldn’t say it out loud, because Peter would lose his mind, but Penny would let Tony Stark murder her in front of an audience if it meant he’d leave Peter alone. Every promise she’d ever made, to her mother on her deathbed, to aunt May on hers, was to keep Peter safe. To make sure he had every opportunity. Peter was so smart, he had so much potential, if she could just give him the chance, if she could just get him to the point where he could make something of himself—then she would consider her life perfect. She’d die knowing she had done her job, she’d opened the gates for her brother’s success.

“I’ll figure it out Peter, one way or another.”

[davebuckleslefthand]

Martial LAW ??? LOGISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.. 

there are not enough troops in these USA to go                                                and attempt to implement Martial law over OUR United States.

June 30, 2013 at 4:06am and still the rumble under                                                                                    the table makes one think:  “What if?”

EVEN IF THE RUSSIANS AND THE CHINESE AND THE ENTIRE                      UN MILITARY FORCE SHOWED UP...

So many of you have been fed disinformation that the Obama Cabal                are waiting for us to act so they can declare Martial Law. This becomes          the reason you use to permit yourself to be in bondage now. Its like a slave  who thinks 

“I cannot rise against the master because                                                            he is just waiting for a chance to whup my ass."

Anyone who feels that Revolting and exercising our rights to resist Tyranny,    will give the Government the reason to impose "Martial Law" read this; carefully.

I am telling you unequivocally...

"That line of thinking is exactly what they want you to think!"

It's a RED HERRING"

NATIONAL MARTIAL LAW? 

LOGISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE IN A COUNTRY OUR SIZE....

"NATIONAL MARTIAL LAW"?  IMPOSSIBLE TO IMPLEMENT! 

Do not use that as the excuse to exercise your rights!

IF WE TAKE UP ARMS AND FIGHT AGAINST TYRANNY... 

OBAMA WILL IMPOSE "MARTIAL LAW". 

The "cowardly nay sayers" say. "Do not do that"; "Let them fire the first shot".

Good grief how many times have I heard these pathetic lines. Too many times.

Patriots. 

Lets rationally analyze this OK ?

What is Martial Law ? It is the exercise of Government and Control by Military authorities over the civilian population of a designated territory.

"Designated Territory" get it. There is no army in the world that can impose Martial Law over all of AMERICA. The country is too big. It is logistically impossible. Some cities? 

Yes... 

a large area? Maybe.

They will delay Martial Law if it ever comes until they have confiscated your guns. Do you know why they want gun registration and then gun confiscation?

So that they can control large areas. Right now it is IMPOSSIBLE.

Why ?

1. 100% of the Military will not go along with Obama's illegal declaration. There will be a mutiny in the military. So about 70% will take their arms and munition and join the American Citizens... creating huge holes in the logistical supply chains for the remaining enforcers. 2. The PEOPLE will be against them so there will be limited safe havens for the enforcers and they will have to move in large convoys reducing their tactical ability to control large sections or land. 3. The most important point is that there will be return fire. 

Patriots have guns. LOTS OF THEM.

Here are some consoling and awesome statistics. There were 13.7 million hunters in the United States                                        over age 16 -- 12.7 million of whom used rifles, shotguns                                  or handguns for hunting, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

That means hunters constituted only 15.9 to 18.1 percent of the estimated     70-80 million gun owners in the U.S. in 2011 --- the latest year for which statistics are available.

In a Dec. 28 national report, USF&W said 13.7 million individuals over age        16 self-identified as hunters, and that 12.7 million used guns (shotguns, rifles    and or handguns) while hunting.

Another 2.9 million hunters used antique muzzleloaders to hunt, but according to USF&W, there is overlap between this figure and other figures due to them reporting.

Around 4.5 million hunted with bows and arrows.

The National Rifle Association (NRA), meanwhile,                                    estimates there are between 70 - 80 million American s                                    gun owners as of the January 2011 stats; these are over a decade old.

Those 70-80 million gun owners had in their possession almost 300 million firearms, about 100 million of which were handguns.

America's Hunters:  The Entire World's Largest Army.

The state of Wisconsin has over 600,000 hunters that got permits this (2o11)

Allow me to restate that number: 600,000

Over the last two months, the eighth largest army in the world - more men under arms than Iran; more than France and Germany combined - deployed to the woods of a single American state to keep the deer population under control.

But that pales in comparison to the 750,000 who are in the woods of Pennsylvania this week. Michigan's 700,000 hunters have now returned      home. Toss in a quarter million hunters in West Virginia, and it is literally          the case that the hunters of those four states alone would comprise the    largest army in the world.

And that is just FOUR states.

The total population of registered hunters in America today ranges from 23 million to 43.7 million individuals. (Based on annual data provided by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.) As long as the American Hunter retains his right to Bear Arms, America will forever be safe from imposition of Martial Law and a Military tale over if we all stick together.

AN OBAMA FORCE STANDS LITTLE CHANCE TO BE ABLE TO IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW GIVEN THESE STATISTICS.

So cut the crap that Obama wants us to do something so he can impose Martial Law. We must not be afraid to act when the time comes.

Some additional stuff to consider:

Strategically... be prepared for the Government to shut down the internet and possible all cell service. In retaliation Patriots will knock out all Cell towers and TV Towers so the State Run Media will not be able to transmit their propaganda.The News paper printing presses will be destroyed and so in the end ham and shortwave radios that will be used by Patriots. I hope most of you guys have ham radios. The Government will have their emergency broadcast system so they will be able to communicate very effectively. Patriots will require undercover "runners"!

The Government does not have the man power to put more than 5 -6 Major Metro areas under Martial Law... and since 55% of the Law Enforcement Officers are Oath Keepers, Count on them coming over to our side.

Strategic highways into the cities are needed to truck food into most concrete jungles in the inner cities since food can only be trucked in. The Government will spend a lot of resources trying to make sure the population who is still supporting them are provisioned. When their provisions run low... they will riot against the government too demanding more resources and this will spread their resources even thinner.

UN and foreign troops may move in but they have less skills in the US countryside and while they may be effective in the cities they will not be sent out into the suburbs.

The African American troops will only venture out into the countryside on suicide missions since even if they are not loyal to Obama they will be perceived to be due to to the extensive race baiting by the cabal and as such are pretty much useless except in the urban areas. They will be kept out of the standard confrontation theater.

So who will be fighting then ?? A limited Military force with a lot of very high tech weaponry... but we are not in uniform so Patriots will be very difficult to distinguish from the population. They will be in uniform because they have to stay together and ID each other.

Coins and "barterable" items need to be stocked because paper money will become a semi useless in most areas. Understand that there will be retaliation so families need to be kept in safe haven areas. They will consider cutting of power and water supplies to Patriot Enclaves but they will have difficulty controlling the RED STATES.

The Blue State Metros areas will riot on their own because they will be in short supply of all basic requirements since all their stuff needs to be trucked in.

Its going to get hot but we will win once we get started. Martial Law or not!

The Command and Controls for Patriot zones are already in place and all that will need to happen is the "Link up"

Additional Info from @John A Brown:

The country has 4 million square miles of land, 4 million miles of paved roads, 150,000 miles of railroads, thousands of miles of navigable rivers.

What is their significance? Every bite of food, every drop of fuel . . . not to mention every single electronic communication of every kind . . . has to pass along these routes and EVERYTHING in that inventory of needs and services either originates in, or must pass through our States... the so called "Flyover Country", i.e. red states and red counties.

WE WILL STOP THEM IN THEIR TRACKS!!

Stay alert Patriots. SHARE AND KNOW THAT WE ARE ALL NOT ALONE... 

THERE ARE OVER 100 MILLION LIKE US...

BEHIND EVERY BLADE OF GRASS!

[fnich-enthusiast]

So Keira Bell won her case arguing that people under the age of 16 would be unable to give informed consent to puberty blockers. As a British trans guy I’m honestly disgusted and genuinely hurt by this ruling.

First, I’d like to make it clear that this ruling can’t affect my transition. I’m 18, I’ve already gone through (female) puberty. I’m over 16 and going on hormone blockers would not help my transition. However, because of this my body has already gone through irreversible changes that had shocking effects on my mental health and I’m going to need hormones and surgery to get to the place I want to be. I’ve been suicidal since people around me started going through puberty when I was 11 and I realised it’d be my turn soon, I stopped being able to enjoy anything at 13, I lost my childhood to growing up being perceived as the wrong gender. I’m one of the lucky ones.

Yes, it was shitty, it was so unbelievably shitty. But I survived, not everyone does. Not allowing children access to the medical treatments they need can and will kill them. This ruling will leave blood on the hands of everyone who allowed it to go ahead. There are so many kids who will be blocked from this service who could of gone on to live incredible lives, many will be killed by preventable mental health issues or will struggle unnecessarily.

Hormone blockers have no permanent effects. Once you stop taking them either you will go through the puberty created by the hormones your body naturally produces, or you can go through the “opposite” puberty through HRT. However, not taking hormone blockers did leave me with permanent effects that have had a negative impact on me, like many other trans people. It seems clear which one is less damaging when you look at it this way.

Looking through the Keira Bell tag for posts with sources only left me with a slew of TERFs and transphobes congratulating her, often also putting down Elliot Page. I just really hope that people who are uninformed on this topic will choose to listen to trans people and how the ruling will impact our community, rather than the voices of cis people.

I can’t describe how much it hurt to see this ruling go ahead. So please check on your trans friends, but don’t make them talk if they don’t want to.