#I had Lyall there too but he didn’t look quite right

[pretentiouswreckingball]

Some sunny day

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I didn't plan for this to be this long, I was aiming for three pages at most but well, I had such a great time at the beach the other day that this little thing kind of reflects it. Chilean Lyall though is @sequinhaze fault, their post about Pedro Pascal as Lyall kinda messed with my head so, that part is your doing yaz. Anyway, here's a little fluffy thing.

*******

It’s a sunny day. 

James thinks those are the best days.

It’s a sunny day and a flock of seagulls and pelicans are chilling in the ocean, not far away from the coast. There is the sound of waves crashing loudly in the distance and the cold breeze is keeping the summer heat at bay. The sun is at its highest, lighting the seafoam as it’s made of tiny little crystals. 

James is sitting on a rock under the shadow of a palm tree, his toes buried in the sand, watching his family enjoying the evening. They’d been at the beach for a few hours and he just squeezed some time to just —watch. To treasure, these little moments of love unfurling in front of him. 

On James' right, there are Lyall and Teddy. 

Teddy was crawling towards the sea when James first sat down. The thing is, Teddy knows how to walk. James is aware of this because when his godson first stood up and walked, Sirius called him crying, babbling incoherent words for a solid five minutes before James could figure out what he was saying, before he found himself weeping alongside his best friend. 

Sometimes, Teddy prefers to crawl and that's completely fine, he's really good at it, mind, and he was making quite the progress in his journey, letting his poor grandpa fret behind him.

Only halfway through, Teddy suddenly stopped.

Lyall stopped too, trying to figure out what was wrong and oh, cachito mío qué pasa, ¿estás cansado? ¿quieres regresar? si ya ibas a llegar, poh! no pasa nada, ven, vamos but before Lyall has the opportunity to hold him up, Teddy turned around, his feet facing the water, and started crawling backwards.  

James chuckled in disbelief when that happened. Lyall too was in shock, eyes wide. The beach they're on doesn’t have even ground, more like a big natural pool a bit inclined towards the water, so when you walk down the coast, you tend to favour the side where the sea is at. It's not that noticeable at first sight but it is enough for a kid to feel the need to crawl backwards.

When Teddy was actually getting too close to the water, he stopped, stood up and walked the rest of the way, his little toes touching the wet sand. Snapping out of it, Lyall scooped him up and dragged him out before the next wave came.

They were now sitting sideways from the ocean, Lyall bracketing Teddy between his legs creating a small pool for his grandson to feel the water since he can’t actually do anything much, as he’s only two and a half years old. Teddy didn’t seem to mind much if his shrieks and giggles were anything to go by.

Behind them, far away down the coastline, two figures are making their way to them. 

Remus and Sirius are walking where the water meets the sand, holding hands. They went for a walk since Lyall was looking out for their son and from what it looks like from afar, they appear to be talking. 

Sirius is moving his free hand wildly as if he’s telling the most amazing story and Remus is smiling and laughing, which seems to brighten Sirius's demeanour and make him do even more dramatic gestures. Padfoot is behind them, running between the sand and the water whenever he feels like it, jumping away when the waves seem to get too close to him but returning when the tide pulls away, carefree and happy. 

Something warm blooms in James’ chest.

He gets like this, sometimes. They’re his best friends for god’s sake, he has every right to be ridiculously proud of them, of how far they’ve come, still cradling their love between their hands like when they were younger.

James can see it clear as day in the way Sirius holds Remus’ hand, slowly kissing his knuckles before letting it go, and heading over to Hope who’s reading a book in a hammock, Padfoot in tow. Remus looks after him, eyes full of blatant adoration, smiling that secret smile of his when he thinks no one is watching. 

After a moment he turns around and goes to where Lyall and Teddy are shrieking in unison whenever the water gets to them. James can’t quite make out what they’re saying but it becomes obvious when Remus squats in front of them holding his arms out for Teddy, that he’s ready to take him out and dry him off.  

Teddy’s having none of it.

He turns away from his father, trying to hide in his grandad’s neck. Remus is also having none of it as he tries to coax Teddy away. However, as almost any two-and-a-half-year-old would do, when Remus tries to pick him up, his son goes boneless against him. 

James tries to smother his laugh from where he’s watching the whole scene unfold. Boy does he knows the ways of tiny humans. After some unsuccessful tries, Remus gives up and lets his son stay with his grandpa a little longer. Lyall nods dutifully but as soon as Remus walks away, a mischievous grin appears on his face matching the one on his grandson’s. 

They look so happy to be with each other.

On James' left, a competition is taking place. 

Pandora and Lily are competing against each other to demonstrate who’s the superior castle builder. 

James doesn’t know about the process or the inconveniences behind building sand castles but what he’s sure about, is that they’re both very competitive, always going above and beyond. You just had to take a look at their castles. Pandora and Lily would do anything to show off their talent. Especially if they’re trying to impress their four-year-old daughter. 

Luna is having the time of her life, that much is clear. 

She’s running around between their sand castles wearing a braided crown made of dry palm (Dorcas doing, most likely) with Peter who’s behind her whispering things in her ear that she later screams at her mothers. Switching between cheering and shouting and “Ma! Mommy’s tower is almost done! You need to hurry! And “Mommy, Ma has a pool inside her castle, you’re going to lose!”

“A pool, Lily? Really?” Pandora asks, with an eyebrow raised, looking at her wife above her castle. 

Lily smiles smugly. “Feeling threatened, Lovegood?” 

“You wish, Evans,” Pandora says and as an afterthought, she adds, “you’re a Lovegood too, you know. ”

“And you’re an Evans,” Lily says, shrugging. 

“We’ll see about that,” then she turns to the sea, shouting “Barty, I need more water!” 

“You got it, gorgeous!” Barty shouts already recollecting the seawater with Luna’s small dinosaur bucket. 

Lily, not wanting to be outdone, yells too. “Rosier! Why are you taking so long? It’s just water!” 

“Try to carry two gallons of water in cup-size buckets, Evans!” He complains, the buckets swinging wildly as walks faster. 

“Chop, chop, Rosier, those castles are not going to build themselves!” Peter pesters him and Evan looks two seconds away from throwing one bucket of water at him.

“Bite me, Pettigrew,” he hisses, dropping the seawater in the dry sand for Lily to mould another tower. 

“Put your money where your mouth is and I might Evan, don’t think I wouldn’t,” Peter winks at him and James suspects the red on Evan’s cheeks is not because of the sun. 

“That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about! What, am I invisible or something?” Barty chastises from where he’s helping Pandora dig a hole in the sand to fill with water. 

“That was for you too, Crouch, unless you two don’t come as a package? a pity, then,” Peter shrugs ignoring Barty’s poor attempts to say anything back. 

James doesn’t know how Peter does it but somehow, he found a way to fluster the most shameless bastards there is every time he opens his mouth. 

Evan and Barty were the ones always making that kind of comment until one day Peter got fed up and start teasing them back. He’s been doing it for so long James doesn’t know if it’s still all for shits and giggles or if he actually means it. He doesn’t think Peter knows either. 

Lily groans from behind her castle.

“Knock it off, you three, my daughter is right there.”

Luna is, however, unaware of this whole interaction. 

She proves it as she shouts, “you only got 10 seconds!” and then proceeds to hold her hands in front of her, fingers spread and slowly making the count down, “ten, nine, eight…” putting down a finger at a time. 

Everyone hurry up, throwing sand and water here and there as well as some sea shells. Those 10 seconds turn out to be thirty before Luna puts the last finger down as she jumps wildly, shouting, “Hands up! hands up! time is over!” 

All hands are up in the air and Luna stands between the constructions, looking at every nook and cranny. 

James is utterly fascinated by how much he can see her mothers in Luna. How she furrows her eyebrows the way Lily does when she’s concentrating, or how she pouts slightly like she’s trying to make something out, much like Pandora does when solving a mystery game. 

It fascinates him how much of yourself it's ingrained in the people around you, how evident the mark you leave in the lives of the people you love.

“Okay, it’s done! Please stand here so I can tell you,” Luna says, all business. Pandora and Lily stand in front of her, the castles at their sides. Luna takes a moment to look at them, then she takes off her crown, holding it between her small fingers and clears her throat.

“The winner of the best castle in the whoooole world is…” 

“The whole world, she said? I didn’t know it was that serious,” Pandora says, mildly panicked.

“I knew I should’ve made that dungeon when I still had the chance,” Lily's fingers twitch like she might want to grab the nearest plastic shovel and start digging.

Luna stretches the moment as long as she can while she looks between her mothers, a glint in her eyes. She grins as she announces gleefully, “You two win!”

“Wait, what? you can’t do that! there’s only one winner,” Lily burst out.

“That seems sneaky of you, there’s only one crown, Luna, are you trying not to hurt our feelings?” Pandora narrows her eyes at her daughter, knowingly. 

Luna shrugs but the smile doesn't disappear off her face. “You two win, you can share the crown,” she holds the crown for them to take. “You’re the best mommies and sand castle makers in the whole world!” she cheers as the guys holler and clap from behind.

Pandora and Lily don't say anything. After a beat, they look at each other in unison, and then at their daughter in awe, wobbly smiles on their faces. 

“Is that so? well, I guess the winners deserve a swim in the ocean, don’t you think fellow winner?” Lily blinks rapidly, holding the crown over Pandora’s head. 

Pandora sniffs in agreement. “We do, actually. But we’re going to need something that floats since I can’t swim very well.”

Lily hums. “What about a tiny human, does that work?” Lily acts like she’s looking for something, her eyes landing on her daughter who’s bouncing on her feet, a huge grin on her face. “What about this one?”

Luna giggles. Pandora regards her and says, “yes, she works too,” and goes for her. Luna shrieks and laughs trying to run but her mothers are cramming her in their arms, dragging her towards the water.  Evan, Barty and Peter go behind them, screaming at Luna like they’re going to save her. 

Dorcas and Marlene who were making out further away in the ocean, turn around when they see the commotion. Marlene gets there first and scoops Luna up, holding her up when the tide pulls. Luna is shouting and giggling in her arms and shouts at her aunt Dorcas when she sees her coming and Auntie Dorcas look! I’m a floatie! and are you, now? I guess I’m going to borrow you, them and then she does so while Marlene makes a scene of drowning without Luna while the sound of their laughs echoes in the waves around them. 

James thinks that’s one of the best sounds in the world.

And of course, there’s what’s in front of James. 

Effie and Monty are holding sweet six-year-old Harry between them. Harry looks scared but at the same time, there’s an undercut of pure bravery in the way he’s holding his ground. Harry is wearing Lightning McQueen floaties on his arms and a red swimsuit, even if he doesn’t swim very much. 

Well no, he does, but never in the ocean. 

James suggested to him that he might want to stick to the pool for a little longer but Harry has gotten in his head that the ocean is just a bigger pool and if he’s learning how to swim. he’s going to learn how to swim everywhere, not just in small pools. And well, Harry really is stubborn when he wants to be.

So that’s how Harry ended up between his grandparents, holding onto them for dear life clearly terrified but being so brave about it. 

They’re closer to where James is so he can hear them clearly as Monty holds Harry by the arm and says, “Usted puede mijo, cuando la ola venga, le salta, okay? to which Harry nods and get’s ready to jump whenever the wave crashes into him. Luckily, the ocean is calm today, and the waves are not that big or harsh.

The tide has been gentle so far but James knows the way the ocean works so he’s keeping an eye on it, just to be sure.

When the wave comes, Harry jumps. He stumbles a little, as his small body moves with the wave, his head remaining over the salty water. They do another five times and with each round, Harry seems to loosen up, getting more confident. A little too much as he lets go of his grandparent's arms when a big wave came. He goes under and James is running towards him before he notices what’s going on. 

When he gets there, Effie and Monty are holding him up away from the water while Harry is spluttering water taking big breaths. 

“¡Harry! ¡Harry! ¿Estás bien? ¿Te duele algo?” James frets, looking for an injury in his son’s small body. 

Harry shakes his head, “Estoy bien pa, solo tengo la boca salada ¡puagh!” and he makes a face, spitting the seawater. James tries for a chuckle but fails miserably.

He wants to take him away from the ocean, he wants to never feel this fear again, and he wants to scold him for being reckless and making his poor father's heart go through that. James doesn’t say any of this but instead, “¿quieres que me quede?” giving Harry a choice. 

But Harry shakes his head, holding Effie’s arms tighter.

“No, estoy bien, mis abues me cuidan, ¿verdad que sí?” Harry looks up at his grandparents and Monty nods while Effie squeezes his hand, turning to look at James. 

“Ve a sentarte mijo, we got it,” and they turn around, going for the sea again.

James watches them go.

When he sits again, he runs his fingers through his hair, heaving a big breath, trying to calm his rabbiting chest. Sometimes this is what means to be a parent, constantly worrying about the well-being of your kids. But James has also learned not to hold on too tight, to make Harry feel capable of anything, giving him the confidence to explore his possibilities. 

And Harry is safe and happy and that's what matters the most to James. He’s been so brave trying again that James kind of wishes Regulus could’ve seen what happened. 

“He’s better than me, I would’ve drowned,” a familiar voice says from behind.

James turns around, his upper body unconsciously leaning towards the figure who’s walking towards him, like a tide pulling the strings of his heart. James grins, as they come to his side. He holds his arms to him and his baby goes willingly. He holds her on his lap, embracing her so she won’t fall.

“I don’t believe that you would, you’re too stubborn to die,” he gives Regulus a quick peck on the cheek when he sits down near him in the sand. “You would’ve defeated the water, somehow, out of spite most likely.”

Regulus arches a brow at him, “Would I, now? You know something I don’t, Mr Black-Potter?”

“I do, actually, Mr Potter-Black,” James retorts, smiling at his husband, “I know you.”

Regulus scoffs, rolling his eyes but the flush of his cheeks is hard to miss. His gaze travels to where Harry is, still with his grandparents, playing with the waves and swimming away as Monty acts like a shark who’s about to catch him. 

“He’s so brave,” Regulus observes, absently playing with one of the plastic shovels Lily throws earlier when she was making the sand castles. 

“The bravest,” James nods in agreement, “just like his father”

Regulus hums noncommittally. 

“Do you want to go with him?”

“In a minute” he eventually says, digging at the sand around James. 

James lets that be as it may. 

“What took you so long?” 

“Turns out emergency level one was actually emergency level two,” Regulus says and Helena giggles in James’ arms like she knows they’re talking about her. “A big one.”

“That can’t be true, you wouldn’t do that to your poor papa, would you mi amor?” James coos at his daughter and Helena makes grabby hands at Regulus. 

“papapapapa,” she bables and Regulus’ gaze soften at her. 

Sometimes, James can’t believe his luck. He’s there, with his whole family in close proximity, and he can’t help but think how he comes to be this way. These kinds of moments are the ones James holds onto it the most, keeping them in his pocket and carrying them around wherever he goes. He’s a family man and a romantic, sue him.

“I was thinking,” James begins.

“Oh boy,” 

“No, this is good, I promise,” he says and then, “What if we spend Christmas in Chile?” 

Regulus stops digging at the sand at his feet and looks at him. “What?”

“Yes! Think about it,” he sits Helena on the sand in between his legs, still holding her. “Look, I know you don’t fancy air flights but Teddy’s birthday is around that time and my dad is secretly talking with Lyall, making plans no doubt and my mom is looking for air flights when he thinks no one’s looking and, don’t you want to spend Christmas with Sirius? he’s been talking about it for ages,” and that’s not a lie, Sirius has been talking about it for a long time, he says it’s James’ turn to visit them.

Regulus doesn’t say anything for a long time, just keeps digging. James doesn’t force him, he knows he needs a moment to think about it. Helena plays with the sand and James keeps looking out for Harry. 

After a moment, Regulus speaks again.

“What I’m hearing is that you want to spend eight hours, give or take, in a closed space with two kids under the age of six just so my idiot of a brother stops bitchin' about it?”

“And for the wine, don’t forget the Chilean wine”

“Yeah, how else we’re going to survive Sirius’ never-ending babbling?” Regulus rolls his eyes, covering James’ feet with the sand around them. 

“Be nice, amor,” but Regulus waves his hand dismissively.

“What am I getting in return?”

James scratches the back of his head. “Lots of kisses?” 

Regulus makes a ‘fair enough’ gesture as he says, “okay.”

“Really?” 

“No. I want one month free of changing diapers duty and you’re going to take Harry to soccer from now on,” he finishes, patting the sand around James’ buried knees. 

James, bless him, is too baffled to concentrate on anything else other than Regulus at the moment. 

“What?”

His husband arches a brow at him. “Do you want this or not?”

And well, James really wants it. He tries not to think too much about it. 

“Deal” and they shook on it. 

Regulus nods standing up. He holds Helena up for James to take again. 

He then leans down to kiss James slowly and James melts a little, he always has that power over him, even with the smallest of kisses.  Regulus hums when they break apart, James going forward trying to catch his lips again but his husband takes a step back. 

“I would’ve done it for two months, you know,” James admits in the haze of their kiss and Regulus' eyes are full of mirth.

“I would’ve agreed regardless. I already made plans with Remus. You doing this is just a plus.” and oh, how much James loves this sneaky human being.

“You…” he tries to stand up going for him but he can’t move, he’s stuck. He looks at his feet and sees that Regulus wasn’t only digging the sand around but actually burying his legs in the sand.

Regulus smirks.

“Hey! You buried my feet in the sand!” James shouts, “just wait until I get my hands on you,” he hisses trying to break free. 

“You will have to catch me first,” Regulus teases as he turns around and runs towards the sea, where the other part of his soul is. Harry's smile widens when he sees his papa approaching. 

“Regulus! come back here!” but Regulus ignores him as he holds Harry up and tosses him up in the sky, Harry giggling in Regulus’ arms just as much Helena does in James’. 

Birds take flight, an array of seagulls and pelicans dancing in the bright blue sky. The waves continue to break in the distance, the foam licks the sand where it touches. It all feels vast and real, like the endless sea in front of him. A reverie from which James never wishes to awaken.

Luckily for him, he will never have to. 

Yes, sunny days are the best kinds of days.

[c0ffinrehearsal]

snippet Sunday!!

thank u to all of my besties for tagging me in this love y'all @greenvlvetcouch, @colgatebluemintygel, @spindrifters & @cr-amber ♥♥♥

it only seems fair that I post 4 snippets, one for each tag :)

next chapter of 'I've got diamonds in my eyes (for you)'

“Why are the elevators out of service again? This is homophobic.” Remus’s voice is strained, muffled behind the cardboard box in his hands - he kicks the apartment door closed with one socked foot and shoves the box on to the kitchen counter. Sirius laughs at Remus from the floor, sprawled out on the hardwood of his living room. Their living room.  Each wall is lined to the ceiling with boxes. The couch is covered in clothes on hangers, draped along the back of it - thick sweaters, worn t-shirts and vintage jeans. Spread all across the apartment - from the two pairs of shoes by the door to extra pillows on the bed - are all the pieces of a newly shared space.

first chapter of foxfire, my self-indulgent Appalachian wolfstar AU

Fog rolls out along the highway like an old friend and Remus’s fingers flex in their grip on the steering wheel. The last time he was in Virginia he hadn’t even been old enough to drive, but he remembers his father cursing every time the fog came in. It settled over the mountain, blurring the trees and blotting out the gravel roads. Not for the first time, Remus wishes he had taken a plane. His sedan doesn’t even have fog lights, but then – he’s never needed them.   His family moved out of Virginia after the accident. It had been inevitable, really. Hope Howell had one foot out of the valley her entire life, and Lyall Lupin would follow her anywhere. They ended up in Pittsburgh, not quite escaping Appalachia afterall, but getting out of the mountains.  Remus remembers waking up in the backseat of his parent’s minivan just as they crossed the West End bridge - the lights of the city like stars in the open sky back home. It all seemed impossibly bright, busy, beautiful. He had fit in easily at school, young enough to morphe his deep southern drawl into something more neutral. Hope found work at a museum in their neighborhood, Lyall taking a position with US Steel. Their old life was a distant memory. There were no woods to get lost in, no trailers tucked on the side of a mountain or deep in a valley.

and there here's a couple snippets from the outline of my hp transfest fic - wolfstar & jegulus in 2005 baby!!!! the first one is sirius telling James that he's trans and talking about how uncomfy his binder is, the second is the whole squad meeting up at the club

* ‘you don’t have to wear that - you can take it off right now, if you wanted. i just finished washing some big shirts that came in yesterday, they’re in the dryer if you want to change’ * ‘ my chest isn’t that big,’ it feels weird to say this out loud to another human person. james flushes a little but sirius continues ‘i think with a big enough shirt and a flannel over it, no one will notice’ * ‘well it’s none of their damn business, if they do’ *sirius doesn’t know if he can talk, so he doesn’t. james says, ‘go ahead and change, i’ll count the till’ *sirius is putting on an oversized flannel when james pops his head in the back room and says, ‘hang on - you could pick any name you wanted and you chose sirius??’ *‘my family likes star names - i wanted to match with regulus.’ james looks sad in that deep, deep way that only happens when sirius mentions his family. they don’t talk about it again that day.

* remus goes in for a hug at the end of lunch and sirius panics bc he isn’t wearing a binder that day and they haven't had That Talk yet and he steps out of remus’s reach, laughs it off * remus looks a little sad and sirius says, ‘sorry, i just - didn’t get a lot of hugs as a kid.’  this is way too much of an explanation and now remus looks concerned and sirius BOLTS, but runs into James * ‘boys - come to the club with me tonight’ * ‘sirius, i am not asking - remus, we’d love for you to join us’ * remus looks at sirius who is rolling his eyes but looks excited and says, ‘sure, yeah - i’ll meet you there’ *the club is called ‘the double crown’ and it’s small, tucked away just on the outskirts of town *when sirius gets there james is standing by the bar with two women - a redhead and a blonde they’re holding hands. sirius feels less out of place. he’s wearing a lace t-shirt that’s cropped just to the hem of his binder, high-waisted black jeans with a silver belt made up of small stars connected all the way around. his hair is up in a messy bun, dangling star earrings, motorcycle boots making him an even 5’10 *remus comes in right after him, looks sirius over *‘cute boots - it’s nice to not have to lean down to get a look at your face’ *sirius flushes all over and james’s eyebrows shoot up *‘sirius, remus - this is lily, and mary! we just met, they’re my best friends’ he points at them when he says their names *lily, the redhead, reaches out to brush her knuckles against sirius’s shoulder, ‘nice to meet you star boy’ she turns to remus ‘and you, tall dark and brooding’

I think all of my mutuals have already been tagged lmao but if any of y'all haven't been, feel free <3

[urban-hart]

Yet another AU for the list, though I actually managed to draw something for this one. Might I interest you in TVA agent Cas?

Without the intensely overlayed intense blue.

[fruitcoops]

Hello Eve!!! I have been absolutely enjoying your fics for the last few days, especially the fighting one! If you have time, I would love to request a coops fight, with Remus just being so sarcastic and Sirius going to Hope/Lyall for help :) I'm on the angst train right now haha

Angst (not fic o'ween) ahead! Ouch. Gotta say, this one hurt a bit to write but it's some sweet catharsis to start the new month. Coops credit goes, of course, to the wonderful @lumosinlove <3

TW for argument, angst (with happy ending), bottling up feelings, guilt, struggling with being 'enough'

Looking back, Sirius didn’t remember how it started. Could’ve been a passive-aggressive comment. Could’ve been the wrong mix of emotions combining between them like magnesium and oxygen, burning hot and vicious and angry the way they never were and swore not to be. Could’ve been the little bits of his brain that were still damaged from 24 years of walking on eggshells.

But the beginning wasn’t important, when they had shouted and flushed furious red and gone for each others’ jugulars in some horrible parody of anyone’s relationship but their own. Even the middle wasn’t the cause of his pain, that godawful limbo where Remus had stormed out to go for a walk and Sirius stormed off in the other direction as if neither of them were hurting.

It was the end that mattered.

Remus hadn’t spoken a word to him that wasn’t brutally serene sarcasm in five hours and 26 minutes. His expressive face was neutral; his stained-glass eyes flared with emotions only to carefully go blank once more.

The dial tone rang once, twice, three times.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Sirius all but sighed.

“Hey, sweetheart, how’s it going?” He could hear Hope clattering around on the other end of the line—she was always busy, but made it look so easy. Even her voice was as calm as the waves lapping the beach.

“It’s…” He faltered, closing his eyes. Remus was still somewhere in the neighborhood, and he was alone in the house for the first time in a long, long time. “It’s not great, actually.”

The clattering stopping. “Are you hurt?”

He liked how she used ‘you’ to refer to both of them. Somehow, it still comforted him. “No, we’re both fine. I just had a question for you.”

“Sirius.” Her voice gentled around his name like a hug from hundreds of miles away. “What happened?”

“What does Remus do when he’s angry?”

Her slow exhale crackled over the line. “It depends on what caused it, love.”

Tears burned the backs of Sirius’ eyes. “Like what?”

“When he’s angry with others, he gets loud. He came home with more than one black eye because kids liked to pick on his friends at school.” She paused and he heard the familiar creak of their living room couch. “He gets quiet when he’s angry with himself. He gets quiet, and he tries to push everyone else as far away as he can, even though he doesn’t like it.”

“I tried to talk to him.”

“I know you did. Lyall’s good at easing in around the edges, but I think you and me are a little too alike sometimes.”

Sirius watched the cold, crisp wind scream through the trees in their backyard. He hoped Remus remembered to bring a scarf or some gloves. His cheeks and nose would be bright red when he returned regardless. “What about when he gets sarcastic?”

Hope was quiet for a moment. “You know, I’ve never quite figured that one out. He wasn’t like that as a child. But if I had to guess…if I had to guess, I think it comes down to hating it when other people help him.”

“But I don’t know how to fix it,” Sirius said, well aware of how pathetic he sounded. Remus’ eyes had been bone-dry and burning while they yelled at each other before his voice went brittle, as if someone sucked all the life out of him and left a husk behind. It was disorienting—Remus was always a steady anchor with a steady pulse.

He heard Hope hum from her cozy living room and could practically feel her slender hand touch his shoulder in comfort. “I don’t know how, either. But you will. Both of you.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly. On the other end of the house, the front door opened and closed without the previous slam. “I’ll call, okay?”

“I’ll be here. Love you both.”

“Love you, too.”

His heartbeat was loud in his ears and jaw; Remus was in the kitchen, riffling through the cabinets with none of his usual smooth movements. Sirius took one more deep breath before he slipped his phone into his pocket and went to rip the bandaid off in one fell swoop.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Remus didn’t look up from the mechanical motions of his ham-and-cheese sandwich. You hate that cheese, Sirius thought as he leaned on the doorway. You told me it tasted like Finn’s socks, then laughed when I asked how you knew that flavor in the first place. It had been a real laugh, too—one that crinkled his eyes and nose and dimples and made his shoulders hitch up toward his ears.

“Can we talk?”

“We’re talking.”

“Remus—”

“Don’t Remus me.” His tone was still hollow, but there was a spark of something shaky behind it. “I’d rather just make my sandwich and wallow for a bit, if that’s alright with you.”

“You’ll hate it.”

“Wallowing? Well, that’s the whole point.”

“The sandwich.” Sirius put his hands in his pockets and did not look away. He was tired of fighting and of Remus trying his damndest to push him away. It might have worked on everyone else, but Sirius Black was a stubborn son of a bitch and he planned to use it to his advantage. “You don’t like that combination.”

“Stop it.” The words were clipped.

“It tastes like socks.”

“Sirius. Don’t.”

He shrugged one shoulder as Remus’ fingers closed unsteadily around the top piece of bread. “And you know what? I kind of agree, now that I think about it.”

His golden eyes weren’t flat when he glanced up, which was at least one step in the right direction. “We’re not going to pretend everything can just go back to normal right now.”

“I don’t know why you’re angry, Remus.” The kitchen was silent. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. I wish I did. Whatever it is, you’re not this angry because I forgot to bring down the dishes from our bedroom.”

“Maybe I am,” Remus bit out.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said honestly. He was sorry for it—Remus had asked him twice whether there was anything upstairs before he started the dishwasher and Sirius hadn’t bothered to check. It was a dick move, one that certainly warranted an irritated sigh and small tiff. Not something that called for a blowout fight that left them both emotionally bloody.

“Yes, I know, you told me already.”

“I meant it. I still do.” He didn’t move from his place in the doorway as Remus took a bite of his sandwich and grimaced while he chewed. “Please tell me why you’re angry.”

He made it through a whole second mouthful without spitting the sandwich out before he braced his hands on the countertop and finally, finally looked at Sirius. His expression was a perfect mask, just like the kind Sirius had made for himself for so long. “I posted a picture before we went to bed last night. My best guess is that some asshole found it and got their friends together, but I woke up to almost sixty people calling me a whore and the article below that was about the game where I missed four passes and then you didn’t fucking listen when I asked you to grab the cups from our bedroom, so pardon me for not being able to just Loops my way out of this one.”

He took an unsteady inhale and stared at the countertop with his back and shoulders in a rigid line as Sirius fought the growing lump in his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, fuck, Sirius, maybe I didn’t want to!” he blurted, louder than before. Remus bit down hard on his lip and looked to the ceiling. “Believe me, I know I’m not being fair to you and I know this is incredibly selfish so please don’t point that particular fact out right now.”

It took every ounce of Sirius’ self-control to stay put. “I wasn’t going to.”

Remus shook his head and a tear rolled down to his chin; Sirius didn’t think he even noticed it. “God, I got so good at just letting things roll off, Sirius. You have no idea how good it felt to be able to breathe through all the bullshit and be a supportive friend and get good with having everything I used to care about get ripped away. It took six years but I did it.”

Sirius watched as three more tears tracked over his windburned cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m not ashamed of it.” His throat bobbed for a moment. “You told me that I always say the right thing but I don’t think you know how hard I tried to do that. It takes so much effort to give, and give, and give, and right now it feels like I have nothing left.” He met Sirius’ gaze, tearstained with a bitter smile, and half-shrugged. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in the whole world and I love my friends with everything I have and I can’t be enough for any of you.”

Sirius’ heart gave a hard tug on his stomach; his throat was raw. “Yes, you are.”

“I can’t give everything I used to. I just can’t.”

“I’m not asking you to.” The last word almost cracked and he swallowed hard. “Remus, I don’t care whether you let everyone’s problems roll off you. I don’t want you to pull yourself apart like this to try and make us all happy. I love you, not what you can give me. Just you.”

“I have been so horrible to you today,” Remus said hoarsely.

“And I was horrible right back at you.”

“I tried to work it out by myself and I couldn’t do it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“And—and this sandwich fucking s—” Whatever he was going to say broke off into a harsh breath and he was sobbing, bent against the counter with his face in his forearms. Sirius was struck with the sudden realization that while he had seen Remus cry before, he had never seen him cry. Not like that. Not like the world was ending or like he had been holding something back behind a dozen walls of meticulous care so that nobody got caught in the flood when it finally came crashing down.

Sirius’ hand slipped around his waist right as his knees buckled under him; in one easy, slow pull, he held Remus close and let him fall to pieces in his arms. He was gasping more than breathing, mumbling more than talking, and yet he rested every ounce of his weight on Sirius with absolute trust that they wouldn’t fall.

“It hurts,” he blubbered after a few minutes. His fingers held the front of Sirius’ shirt in a death grip. “The names, and how it feels like—like I’m never gonna be good enough again.”

Sirius wrapped his forearm up around Remus’ shoulders, practically cocooning him as his wheezing breaths filled the kitchen. “You’re so much more than enough, mon amour,” he said into his sweaty curls. “I’ll love you forever.”

“Don’t say that,” Remus begged, going lax for a moment before pressing himself even closer. “Don’t say that, you can’t promise me—”

“Yes, I can.”

“No—”

“Yes, I can,” Sirius repeated. All his limbs felt like popsicle sticks in the wind but there was no way in hell he was even going to consider dropping Remus. “I can and I will and you can’t stop me. I will love you forever, and I’m sorry you doubted that for even a second.”

Remus’ chest caved against his own. “I didn’t. I hated those people and I hated myself but not you. Not for that.”

A lot of people—most people, if Sirius was being honest—thought Remus was the more stable half of their little universe. To an extent, they were right: Remus could find his even keel much quicker than Sirius could. He could compartmentalize and prioritize like nobody Sirius had ever seen, and his ability to soothe someone with a few simple words and a soft smile was nothing short of a superpower.

Sirius’ problem had always been that he felt too much, too deep, and tried to kick it away before it introduced itself. He was coming to learn that Remus’ problem laid in trying to speedrun through the deep emotions to return to that same laid-back calm. In a way, they were two sides of the same coin.

His breathing smoothed out after almost ten minutes; the gut-wrenching sobs and tremors became the occasional sniffle and an exhausted nuzzle into Sirius’ sternum. “I love you,” Sirius said once more for good measure.

“I love you, too.” His voice was wrecked—a hot shower and some tea would remedy that easily enough.

Sirius kissed the ridge of his cheekbone and let his lips linger. “I’m sorry about the cups, Re. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that.”

A heavy breath left him as he stepped back just enough to raise his head. “Thank you,” he said with an earnest look and a pat to Sirius’ lower back. “I was pretty upset about that, actually.”

“I know. I was an asshole about it and you had every right to be upset.” He bent down as Remus popped up on his toes to kiss his forehead. “Do you want to delete the post entirely, or do you want me to take down those comments?”

A furrow appeared between his brows and he laid his head on Sirius’ chest again, shuffling closer until their bodies were pressed together all along their fronts. “It’s not the picture’s fault. I like it and I want to keep it up. We can delete the comments and block the accounts later, but right now I want to take a bath with you, if that’s okay.”

“That sounds really nice.” Sirius let his fingers splay over the swooping planes and angles he loved so well and rubbed a few gentle circles just because he could. “Re?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I’d love you in any universe. If you were still the PT, if you were a player, if you used all that cleverness to become a professor instead, anywhere. In case you didn’t know.”

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

A puff of breath cooled on his upper arm. “Will you spoon me after the bath?”

Sirius hid his smile in the closest tumble of curls. “Course I will.”

[bethansfandoms]

Eilah on Instagram asked for a Wolfstar Hanukkah piece! (She was also really helpful in educating me on how this holiday is celebrated. If you notice any inaccuracies that’s entirely on me, please let me know!)

“Are you nervous?”

Sirius let out a slow breath. “Yeah. I am.”

“Don’t be, they’ll love you.” Remus squeezed his hand reassuringly and led him further up the path towards his front door.

“Do your parents... I don’t know all that much about Hanukkah. What if I--”

“Sirius,” Remus smiled. “It’s okay. My parents know you haven’t celebrated before, they just want to meet you.”

Sirius nodded and took the final few steps to the front door which Remus pushed open, giving him one last smile before shouting “Mum, dad, we’re home!”

Hope Lupin was the first to greet them and Sirius instantly noticed the way she shared her sons smile. 

She wrapped Remus in a tight hug, saying something to him that Sirius didn’t quite catch before turning her attention to him. “And you must be Sirius! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” 

Sirius went to shake her hand but she just laughed and gave him a hug too. “Sirius,” Lyall greeted, appearing from upstairs moments later. Sirius had met him a handful of times but only at the train station platform as he dropped off or picked up Remus. 

 “Thank you for having me. And for letting me interrupt your Hanukkah.”  

 Remus went to protest but Hope beat him to it. “You are not interrupting, we’re very happy to have you here. It was nice of Dumbledore to let you come over with Remus for the evening.”

“Dumbledore lets a literal werewolf go to his school,” Remus muttered, “I’m sure letting an extra student spend an evening elsewhere isn’t much of an issue in contrast.”

Hope swatted his arm lightly and checked her watch. “I think we have just about enough time to have a cup of tea before lighting the Hannukiah.” With that, she and Lyall walked through the hallway towards the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sirius said quietly, stopping Remus before he could walk away. “I’m sorry if this is really stupid, but I always thought it was called a menorah? Just, uh, well when I was reading books…”

Remus smiled and kissed him gently. “A menorah is slightly different. It has seven candle holders, a Hannukiah has nine. That’s the one we light during Hanukkah. But I love that you did research.”

Sirius gave him a half smile before following Hope and Lyall through to the kitchen. It was a small, cozy little thing with exposed brick walls and chipped wood tables and chairs.

“Tea, Sirius? Milk? Sugar?”

“Milk no sugar would be great, thank you Mrs Lupin.”

“Just Hope, please,” she smiled. “Are your family religious, Sirius?”

Sirius hesitated and Remus noticed instantly, touching his mum’s arm gently and lowering his voice. “Mum, Sirius doesn’t like talking about his family.”

Hope’s face fell and Sirius quickly cleared his throat. “No, it’s okay. They’re not. They, uh, they’re quite against it… actually. But I’m not like them. I’m not—”

“I’m sure you’re not,” Hope said, sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Sirius. Remus told me you lived with James. I should’ve…” she looked out the window and smiled. “How about we go through to the front room?”

Remus placed his hand on the small of Sirius’ back as they followed his parents through to the living room. He raised an eyebrow as if to ask if he was okay. Sirius nodded.

“Sirius, would you like to place the candles in the Hannukiah?” Lyall asked.

Sirius’ eyes went to where it sat in the window. “No I… I don’t want to do it wrong or something.”

“I’ll tell you what to do, it isn’t difficult,” Remus said gently. “Here,” he handed Sirius a candle.

“So you put this one on the far right.” Sirius did as instructed and Remus handed him another. “Then just keep working along, right to left. Leave the middle one though,” he pointed to the holder slightly higher up than the others. “That one is for the Shamash. The candle we use to light the others,” he added, seeing the look on Sirius’ face.

Sirius thought he’d feel like an outsider as he watched the Lupin family light the Shamash and say two blessings before lighting the eight other candles, left to right, singing something in Hebrew. Instead, he found himself smiling at the fact that Remus had invited him to see this part of his life.

Once all the candles were burning and the singing had come to an end, Remus made his way over and wrapped Sirius in a hug. “Happy Hanukkah.”

“Thank you for inviting me this evening. Your family seem amazing.” He pulled away, a little conscious of the fact Remus’ parents were probably watching them.

“They’re your family too, if you’d like.”

Sirius felt his heart warm. “What happens now?”

“Now we get to exchange gifts and eat some of my mums amazing food. She makes the best latkes, you’ll love them.”

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly. Remus’ parents had given him a present, which he hadn’t been expecting, and he had proceeded to thank them repeatedly.

Hope’s cooking was indeed amazing and Sirius found it easy to talk to Remus’ parents. He found himself surprised at his ability to contribute because, truthfully, he was still learning what communication with family was supposed to look like.

By nine o’clock Sirius couldn’t eat another bite, despite how good Lyall’s sufganiyot had been, and he was almost falling asleep curled up next to Remus on the sofa.

“You two should probably be getting back to Hogwarts,” Hope said sadly. “You know where you’re apparating to?”

“Yes,” Remus confirmed. “We’re meeting a member of staff just outside the Hogwarts grounds in about,” he checked his watch, “ah, five minutes.”

Sirius looked over to the Hannukiah again, the candles now having burnt themselves out, and then stood up. “Thank you so much for having me. I had a really nice time.”

Hope smiled and hugged him. “It was great to meet you, Sirius. We’ll see you next week at the beginning of the holidays, right?”

“Right.” He pulled away.

“Perfect. Maybe you can come back next Hanukkah as well.” Sirius felt himself smile. They wanted him to be with Remus next year. “I’m sorry about mentioning your family earlier. That is to say, your old family. I’m sure the Potters have probably said the same to you but, well, our family is yours. If you’d like.”

Sirius looked over to Remus who was laughing with his dad and then back to Hope. “Moony, uh, Remus said the exact same thing earlier. Thank you, really. Maybe I’ll know the blessings and the songs by next year.”

“You’re a good person, Sirius. I hope you know that.”

As Sirius stepped out into the cold December air, waving goodbye to the Lupins one last time, he felt Remus take his hand in his own.

“Was my mum being embarrassing when she was talking to you just then.”

“She invited me to Hanukkah next year.”

Remus laughed. “Of course she did.”

“She called me a good person, too. I’m not sure if anyone’s done that before.”

Remus stopped abruptly. “Well, she’s right,” he said, firmly. “You were really nervous about meeting them, hm?”

“Why’d you say that?”

“You called my mum Mrs Lupin!”

Sirius groaned. “I know. I was going for polite and charming. Hey,” he said, stopping Remus in his tracks. “Are you apparating us or a I?”

“I will.”

“Good shout. Your limbs probably go through enough trauma during full moons without me splinching them clean off.”

Remus laughed and kissed him. “Happy Hanukkah, Padfoot.”

Sirius smiled. “Happy Hanukkah.”

[creator-of-calm-queer-chaos]

Bittersweet Remus Lupin having a dog short fic???

So this came from https://www.tumblr.com/1percentcharge/702445156955242496/the-saddest-thing-in-werewolf-media-is-when-one-of, but didn’t want to sabotage it so I’ll just link it here I guess?? 

It started out as being fluffy and then somehow turned really sad. Because I guess that’s what I do. I miss my dog right now (he’s fine, just across the continent and I miss him). Should I put this on AO3?? TW Pet death 

Hope and Lyall got a dog, a giant scruffy looking thing they got when Lyall went to the muggle pound for a volunteering event. They had given the dog the name ‘Igno,’ and he had been at the shelter the longest - six years, five months, and 12 days, in fact. And so, Igno came home with Lyall.

Hope fell even more in love with Igno after she got home from work. They decided he would a perfect big brother to their child.

When Remus came home from the hospital three months later, Igno sat protectively over him and licked his head once (more like 20 times but that’s beside the point). He guarded his little brother fiercely, and with love.

They grew up together. Igno learned to fetch Hope or Lyall when Remus got slightly upset, and he rarely got so upset that he would cry. Igno slept beside Remus’ crib (his head was just the right height for Remus’ baby hands to reach through the bars of his crib and pet), and woke when someone came in the room to see who it was. Of course, it was Hope or Lyall, so he would sigh happily and go back to sleep. When Remus got older, they could never get him a small child’s bed because Igno was too big to fit on it with Remus, and that simply wouldn’t do. They would cuddle up on Remus’ twin bed, Remus brushing out Igno’s fur with his fingers to help him sleep.

That horrible night, Igno had snuck out of bed (well, crashed out of bed, but Remus slept well) to get some water when Greyback attacked. The door was spelled closed, and from across the house, Igno felt something was wrong. He sprinted back to Remus’ room, barking to wake up Hope and Lyall all the way. Igno howled and threw himself against the door, trying to break it down. He could hear Remus’ terrified screams. He could smell someone else. When Lyall and Hope appeared, and spelled the door down, Igno practically flew to the intruder, and managed to snag his shoe before he was gone.

But Remus was crying, and so Igno dropped the shoe and ran to his baby brother. Something was different about him, that was certain, but he was still Remus.

After that, once a month, Igno would be locked out of Remus’ room at night. At first, he would bark and howl for so long that the neighbors would complain. To get them to go away, they started having to magically spell him to sleep. The next morning, Igno would stay in bed with Remus all day, cuddling him, wondering why he smelled faintly doglike.

When Remus felt better, Igno would take him for a walk to get fresh air. Before Something had happened, Remus didn’t like many dogs (other than Igno, of course), but after Something, puppies especially would happily come say hi to Remus. Igno was confused, but Remus didn’t seem to mind, and it let Igno ask the other dogs about if they knew of any good corners for message leaving.

When Remus was nine, Igno was at least fifteen, they guessed seventeen - quite old for a big dog like him. He had been slowing down, and that night he couldn’t get up to climb into bed with Remus. And so Remus stayed with him in the living room. He passed away with his baby brother who was almost grown up next to him. The last thing he felt was Remus gently brushing out his fur like always, and the last thing he heard was a small sniff. The last thing he tasted was the tears Remus had wiped on his hand, which Igno had licked off (salty). The last thing he saw was Remus cuddled up to him, still a little one. The last thing he smelled was the stench of sadness.

But Remus would be okay. He always was.

Remus buried Igno in their backyard, underneath the tree they would sit under together. He didn’t let his parents help, saying that he needed to do this one last thing for him. He spent the fall day digging a hole, and then gently placed Igno in it. He ran inside and grabbed Igno’s favourite toy (it was also Remus’ favourite toy, but Igno needed it more right then), and Hope and Lyall followed him outside.

“Good night, Igno,” Remus whispered, gently placing the toy under Igno’s head as a pillow. “You’ll be okay. And I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Lyall hugged Hope, then kissed Remus on the head. “Do you want help covering him?”

Remus nodded, and the three of them shoveled the dirt on top of his still form. Once the grave was filled, they found a soft stone and Hope asked if Remus wanted her to mark anything on it. Instead, Remus took it from her and took another stone. He sat out there for the next half hour, first tracing, then carving it, not even realising that his parents left him to write. He set it leaning against the tree and stepped back to read it. Here sleeps Igno Lupin.

Over the next while, the pain of having lost Igno didn’t lessen, but life grew around it. The mornings after Remus’ transformations were the hardest. He didn’t sleep as well. But he continued on. After Albus Dumbledore came to their doorway to tell him that he could go to Hogwarts, Remus went and told Igno all about it, as he often did.

When Remus packed his bags and was ready to leave for the train, he went to the backyard and stood in front of the tree.

“Hey Igno,” he started softly. “I’m leaving today. For Hogwarts... I’ll be okay. I promise.”

And he would be.

[maraudersbutmuggle]

"The Prank"

Content Warning: Gender Dysphoria, Transphobia, Violence, PTSD. Depression, Mentions of Sexual Abuse. ANGST, ANGST, ANGST.

It was the week before exams. Everyone was crazy, especially the fifth years. These exams would define their possible careers in the future.

Remus was twice stressed. He was sick of people asking him questions and asking him to tutor them and sharing his notes with them.

After he had yelled to two poor third years, and slammed his book shot, making Peter jump, he went to the loo. Just to wash his face and take a bloody break.

He didn't know it would be one of the worst days of his life.

As he washed his face, he heard someone coming in. But Remus ignored it. Perhaps it was another boy.

"Hello, Rosie"

"Rosie, my sweet Rosie" "No!" "C'me here, Rosie..." "DADDY!!"

Remus began shaking. He looked that the voice came from Snape. He was staring at Remus like a strange animal in the zoo.

"Snivellus" Remus tried to sound confident, but his voice sounded high pitched.

"Rosalind Meredith Lupin. That's your name, isn't it?"

"C'me here, Rosie..." "Daddy!! Help!!"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Remus was trying so hard not to break down. How did Snape find out?

Snape ignored him.

"I can't believe you fooled everyone. Even myself" Snape let out a little laugh. He stared at Remus with disgust "And all this time, you'd been a girl?"

Remus shook his head. Now he was shaking.

"I'm not a girl" but he didn't sound convincing.

"What I don't understand is who else knows? How could Dumbledore let you in, if you're sick. You are a freak"

"Shut up" more shaking "How did you find out?"

There was no point in denying it now. Remus was being so obvious.

Snape grinned. He took a piece of paper from his pocket.

"Thanks to the little love note between you and Black" Snape said "Maybe he needs to be careful where he leaves the love letters you send him"

Now he remembered. The note he had exchanged with Sirius. About his binder. About him being trans. He had begged Sirius not to show it to anyone.

"And then, I searched for you on the Internet. You were in the local news, Rosie. One of the victims of Fenrir Greyback. They found he had been raping girls thanks to your dad, the hero" Snape rolled his eyes "You were his last victim before he went to jail"

"Please don't tell anyone" Remus begged.

Nobody knew about that, not even his friends.

Snape shrugged "Why wouldn't I? Lupin? This is golden. One of The Marauders is actually a girl..."

"No..." Remus cried

"I can't belive your friends hid you like a fucking experiment. What do they do to you, Rosie?"

"I'm tryin' to be nice, Rosie..." "Please no!!" "Shut up!! I said shut up!!"

All Remus could do was cry and tremble. He didn't even dare to look at Snape anymore. He despised him and he couldn't believe Lily actually liked him. But Remus hated himself more.

"I thought I smelled grease from outside"

Remus was even more embarrassed to see his friends enter the bathroom. James in the front. Like a good leader. Him and Snape were mortal enemies.

"Potter" Snape clenched his teeth.

They noticed Remus.

"Moony?"

Sirius noticed Remus with eyes of concern. It was his fault. It was his fault Snape knew.

"What did you say to him, asshole?"

"I didn't touch your little bitch, Black" Snape scoffed.

"You and your greasy ass are always around upsetting us" James said "So go away"

Snape ignored him "You fucking perverts"

"Excuse me?"

"You hide a girl in your dorm, probably spy on her while she changes. God knows what else..."

Sirius rolled his eyes "What the fuck are you talking about? What girl?"

Snape pointed at Remus "Rosalind"

"Get away from Rosalind, you fucking wanker!!" "Daddy..." "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! NOBODY TOUCHES MY DAUGHTER!!"

The Marauders turned to look at Remus. They didn't know his birth name. Remus felt so embarrassed. He clenched his nails on his arm, harder and harder. He wanted it to hurt.

"What is it, Marauders?" Snape continued, voice full of hate "Do you take turns to fuck her?"

PUM!!

James knocked Snape to the ground before anyone can stop it.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!"

Snape touched his nose. And then he laughed. Like a maniac.

Greyback touched his nose. And then he laughed. Like a maniac. "Come on, Lyall! Hit me more!"

James wasn't satisfied. He kneeled down and kept punching and punching Snape yelling swear words and insults.

Remus was in shock. He stood there, glued to the ground. Like a statue.

Sirius crossed eyes with him. He looked so broken, and angry too. His eyes lowered. And Sirius turned to help James with the beating.

Peter seemed in shock as well. He had managed to put an arm around Remus and whispered things like: "It's okay, Moony. I'm sorry. It's okay"

This is it. Remus thought. Snape is going to die. James and Sirius are going to kill him. And Remus would be an accomplice. A stupid witness that didn't do shit. Just silently cried and shook.

Finally a younger boy came in and gasped looking at the scene.

"GET HELP" Peter yelled "PLEASE!"

The boy ran away. And minutes later, someone came in with him.

"STOP IT!!" It was Lily. She was pale as a ghost. Not in the normal way, but nearly transparent "I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING STOP!! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HIM!!"

"PLEASE LYALL STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!!" "He hurt her!!" Lyall cried, still hitting Greyback "He hurt my little girl"

Remus was surprised to see Lily's strength as she pushed James away. Peter ran to do the same with Sirius.

James was panting. He blinked like finally reacting. He looked at Lily, who was crying. And then at his hands. Covered in blood.

"Go and find McGonagall, Owen" Lily sobbed, talking to the little boy still there "Please"

Owen obeyed immediately.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" Lily screamed mostly at James. He looked pale. Nearly in tears.

"Sorry..." he said "Sorry Lily.."

It was the first time that James Potter felt so small and quiet around Lily Evans.

But Lily was already on her knees, checking on Snape.

"Sev..." she cried "Sev... please wake up"

James' eyes were focused on them. He looked embarrassed. Sirius on the other hand approached Remus.

"Remus, are you okay?"

"Rosie, are you okay?" Hope asked, tears in her eyes. "MUMMY!!" the child cried. "Oh honey, it's okay" Hope hugged her child, crying herself "Mummy is here, is okay"

Remus flinched. Mostly because he was surprised that someone had addressed him. He had witnessed everything as if he wasn't there. And he felt the pain in his palms. Bleeding because of his nails.

He didn't want to talk to Sirius. He didn't want to talk to anyone or to see anyone. He just felt pain pain pain. Guilt Guilt Guilt. Anger anger anger.

This is your fault, Sirius. He knows because of you. He almost died because of you.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!" McGonagall gasped, covering her mouth "What the hell happened?"

Nobody answered. They could only hear Lily's sobbing.

"Miss Evans, who did this to Mr. Snape?"

"It was me" James whispered. James never whispered. He was always loud.

"What was that, Mr. Potter?"

"It was me" he repeated

"And me"

Sirius, the loyal companion. Loyal with James, not with Remus.

"Miss Evans, please take Mr. Snape to The Hospital Wing right now! Mr. Pettigrew, help her"

"Yes, professor"

Remus didn't understand how Peter was so calm, how could he even react?

"Potter, Black. To my office"

James didn't even protest. He gave a last glance at Lily, who was stroking Snape's hair. And James walked outside. Sirius immediately followed, his eyes on Remus as he walked. Concerned blue eyes.

I hate you. I hate all of you..... Not quite.

McGonagall walked carefully towards Remus. He noticed he was still trembling and panting. McGonagall didn't scold him. She just smiled.

"Mr. Lupin" she said kindly "Why don't you step into my office, and we'll take some calming tea. Alright? You can explain what happened?"

Remus just nodded. Because he couldn't speak. McGonagall touched his arm, and they walked outside. Remus find in her body a support not to fall.

---------------

The boys were not expelled but severely punished after they explained their motives. Snape was forbidden to speak to anyone about Remus. Remus remained angry at Sirius and James for months after this. But they make up.

This is my muggle version of The Prank. But this time it makes sense.

[diademsandtiaras]

My Favorite Wolfstar Fics

these are my current favorite fics of all time (and yes, they’re all rather fluffy, or at least have happy endings)

you can find part 2 here

warning: several of these contain explicit content, so read at your own risk and all

- longer fics -

Half Agony, Half Hope by Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe

A tale wherein Sirius Black loses 750 House Points for Gryffindor. But it’s totally worth it.

note: I absolutely love this! This has to be one of my favorite characterizations of Remus so far, and I didn’t realize how much I adore Slytherin Remus until now

As Red As Hearts And Autumn by @rosierues on ao3

It's the autumn of Sixth Year, there's a flu epidemic at Hogwarts, and the Blacks want their heir back.

note: if i’m being honest, this has got to be my favorite fic Of All Time

Dating Remus Lupin by children_of_the_shadows

Remus Lupin is a mystery to the whole school; the boy who's quiet, aloof, and cold. He also happens to be queer, which is enough to gain Sirius's interest. What Sirius never realised that dating Remus Lupin wasn't quite as easy as it looked.

note: I absolutely love both Remus and Sirius in this with all my heart. Soft Sirius is impossibly adorable perfect, and this is, again, one of my favorite characterizations of Remus

They’re Hiding Inside Me by @funnydivine on ao3

It’s the summer after fifth year, and Sirius has made himself scarce as usual. But then Remus catches a glimpse of him in Witch Weekly’s special on the Black-Malfoy wedding. Something about that photo is very, very off…

Turns out this is the summer Sirius runs away. Or tries to. Because the Blacks are not giving up on their heir without a fight.

note: the complexity... this fic is sheer genius. I love all the characterizations (especially Regulus), and the dynamic between Remus and Sirius is sublime

Moony & Doe Go Adventuring Through Italy Because Their Friends Suck! by @proffessorrjlupin on ao3

Remus and Lily become best friends after their previous best friends betray them; James, Sirius, and Peter attempt to throw the party of the century; and everything goes wrong before it goes right.

note: I love this fic to death. I made an individual rec for this around when I first started this blog here.

Reservoirs by @rosierues on ao3

In the blazing summer of 1976, Sirius Black escapes from his family with information about Voldemort's latest plot. But Dumbledore is missing from Hogwarts and it's up to the Marauders and Lily to find out what's happened.

The List; or, The Five Times Remus Lupin did not Exhibit Trademarks of Homosexuality (and the One Time He Did) by @smodernlife on ao3

TEENAGERS, BEWARE OF THE “FRIEND” OF YOUR OWN SEX WHO:

1. Is too “nice to be true.

2. Wants to spend time with you alone.

3. Proposes that you be roommates and sleep in the same bed.

4. Writes you love notes as to a sweetheart.

5. Directs the conversation to intimate matters.

6. Wants to touch the private parts of your body.

THESE ARE SOME OF THE TRADEMARKS OF HOMOSEXUALITY.

note: this was one of the first wolfstar fics I read, and it had to be one of my top ten! I adore Sirius being so in love with Remus that he goes to these lengths, and it was a perfect balance of humor and fluff!

- shorter fics -

I Tried Writing Your Name In The Rain, But It Never Came, So I Used The Sun Instead by @prefectmoony on ao3

In which Sirius and Remus go to Lyall’s second wedding and realizations are made, especially of the soft variety.

note: the mutual pining... I’m actually obsessed with this

If Your Love Were A Grain Of Sand by @proffessorrjlupin on ao3

When your soulmate says something that makes you realize you're in love with them, what they said is written on your wrist, along with their name and the time.

Sirius is in love with Remus. Head over heels, smitten, whatever other words you have for it. Remus probably is, too, he just doesn't know it yet.

note: this is one of the best soulmate AUs that I’ve ever read

With Half The Flick And Twice The Magic by sheafrotherdon

Day One of one of the greatest pranks ever played by the Marauders-at-large

Trying To Fight The Seasons, Trying To Find Some Meaning by @prefectmoony on ao3

In which Remus never went to Hogwarts, and Sirius is falling in love with the seemingly Muggle boy who is sneaking into his car every couple weeks in the middle of a war.

note: this has to be one of my favorite characterizations of Remus ever

Here There Be Lions by oftirnanog

The Marauders while at Hogwarts before Remus and Sirius get together and while James is still making a fool of himself in front of Lily. He'll win her over eventually. Remus and Sirius will be oblivious of their own feelings for a while

note: this is technically before their relationship (and before they start to realize their feelings), but it’s one of my favorite fics

The Remusaurus Rex by aqua_myosotis_scorpiodes

Remus gets drunk. Sirius blushes.

This is a one shot based on the non-magic AU The PB to my J

A Propositioning by weightyghosts

When Sirius had pictured all the ways in which this conversation might go, he hadn’t entertained the possibility of Remus choking on his own saliva and coughing for a good forty-five seconds. Not a great start.

If You’d Let Me (But You Don’t) by @kerstintxt on ao3

The one where The Marauders are a rock band and Sirius should really get his feelings for Remus under control if he doesn't want to ruin everything.

note: THIS!! this is the fic that really got me into band AUs, and I love it so much!

—

taglist:

@lizyloony @colored-rain @softest-of-slytherins @caucasianbuttslut @smodernlife

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

The Wolfy Hero

Content Warning: PTSD

Lyall will never forget that image. Greyback, his son Remus, the terrible screams. Luckily Lyall was prepared and used to situations like this. To catch fast poltergeist and boggarts. A minute later and Remus would've died.

Little Remus cried and cried. Lyall wanted to comfort him. But he had to seal the wound with powdered silver and dittany, or Remus would've died.

Remus didn't speak the days after. His parents had to sleep with him because he had terrible nightmares. He had permanent scars on his little face now. Remus was about to turn 5. Just a boy. And from now on he would have to inevitably turn into a werewolf every month. For the rest of his life. "I don't understand" Hope had whispered between tears. They were lying on bed. Remus fast asleep between them. "Who would do this to a boy? What monster is capable to attack an innocent kid? And out of nowhere..."

Lyall looked to the ceiling. He knew perfectly well who it was and why. It was all his fault. "Soulless, evil, deserving nothing but death" is what he said.

Lyall still remembered how Greypack leaned towards him, his breath stang terribly. Lyall could see his shark-like teeth.

"You're gonna regret this" he had said "You're gonna see me again, very soon". Greyback licked his teeth. And now his son was one of them. It was that or death. And Lyall couldn't loose Remus. He loved him so much.

"Don't know darling" Lyall responded to his wife. Hope and Remus were all he had, he loved them with all his heart. Lyall didn't want to loose them. So he lied. He lied selfishly. Lyall looked at Remus sleeping peacefully and promised himself he was going to protect that boy. It was the least thing he could do. Nobody was going to touch, discriminate or reject his golden baby boy. Not like Lyall did with Greyback, although he deserved it. Remus didn't.

"How are we going to tell him, Lyall?" Hope cried "How do you tell your five year old, he is going to turn into a wolf every month for the rest of his life?" Lyall offered his hand to Hope. She took it. Lyall kissed his wife's hand. Tears on his eyes as he did. "We'll manage" he said. Hope broke down in tears. She cried silently not to wake up the little boy. "At least he is not dead Hope" Lyall was trying to convince mostly himself. Was it worth saving his son? "At least Remus is with us" Both Lyall and Hope cuddled little Remus that night silently crying for the terrible fate their son was going to face.

On Remus' 5th birthday, he was already a werewolf, though he didn't know it yet. Lyall and Hope took Remus to the themed park, to the movies, to the zoo. Remus had laughed and smiled. But he hadn't spoken yet. His parents wanted to make him have the time of his life. Later they decided to take him for an icecream.

Lyall bought a big chocolate cone for Remus. Lyall knew how much Remus liked chocolate. As the little boy took his icecream with glowing eyes, Lyall noticed the cashier eyeing Remus' scars. "He had a terrible fall, playing" he said. The man jumped in surprise. "You shouldn't look at him like that. He is my boy. And he is perfectly fine" The lad looked away embarrassed. Lyall placed the muggle money on the counter quite annoyed. He took Remus hand and they headed outside. Where Hope was waiting for them.

The three of them sat on a bench. Watching a little lake with ducks on it. Remus giggled amused. Lyall and Hope exchanged worried glances. How should they begin? "Do you like your icecream?" Lyall asked rubbing his son's hair. His hand shaking as he did so.

Remus simply nodded happily.

Lyall let out a gasp. He couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and lit a cigarette near by. Hope wiped her tears.

"Remus" she said "Remember when I read to you those stories about superheroes?" Hope smiled. Remus looked at her for a while and then he nodded. "You're not going to speak to mommy?" she said in a very notorious Welsh accent. "You know very well you can"

Remus shook his head looking down. "Well I'm gonna tell you a secret" she said as she stroke his hair "You're a superhero as well" Remus looked at his mother with puzzled eyes. "Yes" Hope nodded "I'm not lying. You are one. Just like your father does magic with his wand. And I prepare those delicious pancakes you like. You are a superhero just like us" Hope touched Remus nose smiling.

Lyall looked at his wife in admiration. She was so brave. The bravest person he'd met. She had taken all these very well, not like him.

"What are my powers?" Remus asked amused. Hearing the boy's voice warmed his parents' hearts. They haven't heard him speak since before the attack.

Hope giggled with tears in her eyes. "Well. You are going to transform into a wolfy. When the moon is round. Like cheese, remember?"

"A wolf?" Remus said "I want to be a tigger" Hope glanced at her husband for help. But he simply closed his eyes with pain. Hope tried to swallow her tears.

"No you can't choose" she said "This was already set up since before you were born" Lying to Remus wasn't easy. The kid was too clever.

"What am I gonna do as a wolf?" Remus asked innocently "Am..." Hope couldn't contain her tears. But Lyall turned off the cig and came to her rescue.

"With your super strength" Lyall sat down next to them "You're going to solve crimes"

"Really?"

"Yeah..." Lyall sniffed "But you're not gonna remember what you do"

Remus looked puzzled "Why not?"

"Amm..." Lyall began

"Cause is top secret" Hope said "Only your father and I will know"

"I don't get it" Remus said with icecream all over his face "Can I go to see the ducks closer?" Hope nodded smiling. And Remus ran towards the lake. He didn't understand. He was only five. But soon he will.

The first full moon was horrible. Remus got a fever days before. He cried and pleaded for his mommy and daddy. But Lyall had to lock him up on the basement, before it was too late. The couple cried all night and couldn't sleep at all.

The next day, after Remus was properly fixed and cured he lied in bed. His parents next to him. Lyall and Hope called sick. They just couldn't leave their son alone.

"I don't want to be a superhero anymore" Remus said with tears on his eyes "It hurts. I want it to stop!" Neither Lyall or Hope didn't know how to respond.

It wasn't until Remus was eight that he completely understood.

"I know I'm not a superhero" he said "I'm a werewolf, right? Mommy read me about them. They are mean monsters. Am I a monster?" Remus hugged himself with tears on his eyes.

"Remus, listen to me" Hope said looking into his eyes "You're not a monster. do you hear me? You will never be a monster. You're just a special boy. And we love you" Hope hugged her son. Remus looked at his father but he didn't look at him. Tears in his eyes. "You're not a monster Remus" Lyall sniffed "You're not"

But he didn't sound convinced.

[lunapwrites]

The Unforgiven - LTL Outtake

This was originally going to be a whole ass chapter and then I was having difficulty with it and then realized this Ministry scene itself wasn't actually important, no matter whose POV I try to write it in... so I'm cutting it out entirely. BUT not before I gift you all with the raw version of whateverthefuck I was trying to write lol. So here ya go:

-

It was Monday before Lyall heard about the results of the hearing, and only then by overhearing snatches of conversation on his way to his office.

He hadn't wanted to bother Auror Tonks by asking her on her days off, and no one else seemed to think that perhaps a man might want to know his son was still breathing. Occupational hazard, he supposed; most wizards would have pretended Remus had ceased to exist the moment those fangs had torn into his thigh. Easier to pretend their child had been eaten rather than simply othered.

Not that this was something to be proud of, as his son used to remind him: right, ta for doing the bare fucking minimum, Lyall. Always "Lyall," ever since the truth came out, and that's if Remus acknowledged him at all. His son had inherited his temper and Hope's propensity for grudges, and Lyall still didn't know whether to call that a blessing or a curse.

He picked up the photo of his wife, grinning wickedly at him as she made some wisecrack that Lyall couldn’t hear and never would again. Remus had inherited that, too.

“Word is that our son’s started quite a few fires,” he told her quietly, "so I nicked a copy of the Prophet off Donna in the Floo Office -- I know, I know; I wouldn’t need to nick it if I just took it at home. Only I’m hardly ever there these days.”

(Quiet office or quiet house, it didn’t matter.)

He unrolled the newspaper and showed it to her.

“Our boy made the front page, he did.”

The photo they’d used was the closest look Lyall had gotten at his son in fifteen years.

Dark shadows under his eyes; he hadn't slept, and no wonder given what he was facing. His hair was shorter than he used to keep it, but still longer than when he was a boy. Soft, golden-brown curls all shot through with silver, especially around the temples. He made it look dignified, even while he was bellowing up at someone out of frame.

“Last time I saw him properly, he was shouting at me like that,” Lyall mused. “Merlin knows I earned it -- he was never a shouter, our Remus. Not like I was.”

Apparently, Remus had publicly thrown his lot in with Sirius, and while the Ministry was letting the escaped convict have a retrial, they made sure everyone knew that the werewolf had sided with a mass murderer. (Alleged mass murderer, he corrected himself silently.) There was a whole three-page spread, detailing all the little things about Remus' life that Lyall had tried very hard to bury for him. All pulled from his filing cabinet, of course.

If Remus had just kept his head down -- but, no. He would never, not when one of those boys was involved; Remus would have died for any of them. Little Peter, who was always the first to help with the washing up. James with his heart of gold and his foot perpetually stuck in his mouth. Sirius, the boy with an eye to match his name and a wildfire grin that caught everyone around him.

The boy who, according to Remus, was innocent.

“I never understood why he did it. You always said he’d cut off his hand before he raised it against any of them, and you know what?” Lyall brandished the paper at his wife’s photograph. “I reckon you were right.”

[cunningambitousdetermined]

I Loved You (young!Sirius x Reader)

um ok so i've never written anything and posted it somewhere before but i saw @vogueweasley's 1k writing challenge and i decided why not. actually there are many reasons not to but i hope that someone will have some form of constructive criticism. so yeah, worst case if you hate it um sorry. and thanks @vogueweasley for giving me an oppurtunity. i decided to do sirius x reader (even though i ship wolfstar sorry) here it goes with the prompt: "Did it mean anything to you?" Did I mean anything to you?"

Sirius Black was in love. That was the fact of the matter. Anyone who knew him from Hogwarts would have said that it was a lie. It would pass. Sirius Black, in love? The playboy of Hogwarts, breaker of all hearts? He was in love? It was a phase, they said, she wouldn’t last. If Y/N was being honest, she hadn’t thought it would last either. She was right. 

It had all started when Remus Lupin had introduced them on the train their first year. Y/N was Remus’s best friend and had ever since he could remember. Growing up, they read books, drew pictures and did everything together. She was there after every full moon. She would read books to Remus and bring silly old movies. She was a muggleborn so it had been quite a shock to her and her parents when they found out about Remus’s family. But Y/N had been there when he’d been bitten. They had been sleeping in a tent in the basement of Remus’s house when Greyback had tore threw the window and attacked. She remember every part of that night. The breaking of the short windows, glass shattering, the growling, the tearing of flesh. Greyback’s face was what haunted Remus’s nightmares but his screams haunted hers. When Y/N received her letter, her parents were thrilled, not to mention Remus, who was ecstatic at the prospect of spending all their time in school together. Y/N had left to go change when Sirius Black and James Potter slipped into Remus’s compartment. From what Remus gathered, they had bumped into each other after Sirius pranked his family and James helped him escape. Y/N proudly straightened her tie, she was a witch. She was going to Hogwarts, with Rem. Her giddy smile hadn’t left her face since she had gotten the letter. Diagon Alley was even better. Her mum and dad hadn’t come but Hope and Lyall had taken her with pleasure. They took her to all the shops and helped her buy everything. Remus had laughed at her star struck face when she proclaimed loudly “I love magic!”. She never wanted to leave. 

She walked briskly back to Remus with a bounce in her step. Only an hour or so and they would be there. She heard voices and laughter coming from the compartment and wondered if Remus had already made new friends. She smiled at the thought, he had been so scared to come. Being the first werewolf he was afraid of anyone knowing. She had assured him that nothing would happen and he would make lots of friends, and looked like she was right. She slid the door open, a proud smirk gracing her features. 

“Y/N!” Remus leaped up and pulled her to the seat next to him. Next to her sat a boy with dark brown unruly hair and glasses perched on his nose. His smile scrunched up his blue eyes and brought out his rather large dimples. The boy across from them was what really caught her eye. He had chin length black hair and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. When he smiled, his whole face lit up. “Y/N, meet Sirius Black”

That was the start of a friendship that rivaled her and Remus. Despite being a Hufflepuff, she was an honorary Marauder. In her second year, she learned to become an Animagus to help Remus. Remus had been furious and terrified but he would be forever grateful for her sacrifice. In her third year, the rest of the Marauders found out and became Animagus themselves. James, a stag. Peter, a rat. Sirius and her were dogs. Except she was golden where he was black. They were inseparable. And it was no secret that no matter how many girls Sirius slept with, there was only one that was on his mind. 

Sirius Black had been in love in like with Y/N for years. He had found her stunning on the train but he was young and naive then. He had since grown up and become someone new. They were the best of friends. Sirius and her were both Beaters on their quidditch teams leading to a never ending rivalry. But, it was the way she listened that set her apart from the rest. There had been one particular night when he had just gotten a letter from home. The letter was all sorts of cruel and no matter how hard he tried to keep his bad boy façade up, all he wanted to do was cry. Remus and Y/N were reading to each other, as they did often in an armchair in the common room when Sirius had sped by, tears in his eyes. Y/N had barely glanced at Remus before she quickly followed him. Sirius burst into his dorm and threw himself on the bed. He then proceeded to punch the wall. Again, and again, and again. Suddenly, a soft hand pulled his back from the wall. “Siri, Siri stop...” It was Y/N. Dimly aware of the tears streaming down his face, he had let her drag him to his bed and wipe his tears. She had bundled him up in her arms, his head in her lap as he sobbed and sobbed for at least 30 minutes. When all his tears had run out and he was finally aware of himself again. His cheeks flamed as he realized how he had let Y/N see him. Crying and angry. He made to get up but your hand that was running through his hair stilled and she pulled it away but kept him on the bed with a firm pull. 

“Y/N- I- Let’s just forget this. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to have you see that” he muttered as he again tried to pull away. He hated himself. A disgrace. Embarrassment. Right now the only thing he wanted to do was cave. Fall asleep and never wake up. Ever. He hated himself and for her to see him as himself without any mask, she was sure to hate him too. “Just go” he mumbled. She silenced him with a stern look. Then she softened and pressed her hand to his cheek, thumbing over his tear stains. 

“Siri, let me help you. You need to let someone help you. What’s going on?” Maybe it was something about her eyes, so deep and pleading. Or maybe it was her soft smile or her thumb running over his cheekbone that made him spill it all to her. He told her everything. His parents, the shunning, the yelling. She had listened, flinching along the way. And when he was done, she had told him things that no one had said to him before. She had promised that she would always be there. Her soft voice and words eased him and slowly his tears stopped. And she had held him for the rest of the night, rocking him until he fell asleep, her words ringing in his head. “You are perfect, Sirius Orion Black, and to hell with anyone who thinks you’re not”

 That wasn’t the last time that he had cried to her, spilled his secrets. He found himself going to her, letting his guard down. When he was happy and, most of the time, in trouble, she was there to help him plan his next prank. And when he was sad, most of all then, she was there to help him. She tore up his letters and comforted him. Her soft nature at those times was such a soothing presence in contrast to his anger and self loathing. He had never let himself be so vulnerable with anyone. And maybe that was why he found himself falling harder and harder for her every day. 

“REMUS LUPIN!” Y/N cried, “YOU LET ME GO THIS INSTANT!” She was laughing as Remus continued to run through Hogsmeade with Y/N thrown over his shoulder. Sirius couldn’t deny that it made a little bit of green tinge the ends of his vision. “Ya know, Moony, I never realized you had such a nice arse...” she remarked with a chuckle. Remus threw her down into the soft snow and stuck his tongue out at her. She laughed and reached a hand out for Remus to help her up. Sirius could see the look in her eye from here, Remus was done for. Remus grabbed her hand but she dug her feet into the snow and yanked him down with her. He yelped and crashed down, half on top of her. Sirius laughed but couldn’t help the pit in his stomach as she leaned in and whispered something in Moony’s ear. He looked away, he didn’t want to see it. Moony burst out laughing but Sirius didn’t take his eyes off of James, who was enthralled at the new Cleansweep broom. 

Thunk. Something cold and wet had hit Sirius’s hair. He whipped around, snow dripping down his cheek and that’s why Y/N erupted in laughter. She was doubled over, cheeks red and hand clapped over her mouth as she lost it. Something about the shock on Sirius’s face with the snow falling off his hair and Y/N’s contagious laughter made Remus join in. The pair rolled around in the snow, cackling. Sirius grinned, so this was how they wanted to play it. While they laughed at him, he balled up his fist with snow and prepared to throw. Y/N squealed, her smile still lighting up her whole face. “No, no, SIRIUS, NO!!:” Sirius and Remus exchanged a look and Remus dove out of the way as Sirius launched his first snowball. “TRAITOR!” she yelled at Remus, “Traitor!” Her heart was light and her smile wide as she watched the joy on Sirius’s face. It had been a while since she’d really seen him just let go. She was so caught up, she didn’t see Remus aiming until a snowball hit her scarf and slid down her sweater. Remus widened his eyes, that was not good. “Oh really, Moony, I don’t think so...” she narrowed her eyes at him. James had turned around and not one to miss out, ran to help her. “Thank you James,” she smiled sweetly, “At least some of you are decent,” she teased, looking back at Sirius and Remus. 

James smirked, he was a man on a mission. Make Sirius jealous. “Of course love. Anytime” he winked and wrapped his arm around her waist. He saw the muscles in Sirius’s hand flex at the movement and smirked. This was too easy. Y/N had already begun collected all her snowballs and started to pummel the boys with them. Remus was running back and forth, screaming, trying to avoid James’s deadly aim. Y/N was laughing so hard her jaw hurt as she attacked Sirius with snowballs. Her whole body felt warm and fuzzy, this was a Patronus worthy moment. 

As the Marauders trudged back to Hogwarts, sopping wet and drunk on happiness, James kept his arm around Y/N and let her take his scarf. Sirius refused to look at them. His stomach clenched at the sight of James’s hand on her waist. When they had made it back to the boy’s dorm, Y/N rifled through James’s things until she came back from the bathroom, clean and warm, in James’s quidditch jumper and an old pair of leggings she’d left a while ago. His heart fell when he saw her leap onto James’s bed and put her head on his shoulder. His happy mood vanished as she laughed at something James was saying. He plopped on his bed, it was supposed to be his bed she was getting warm in, his jokes she was laughing at and his clothes she was wearing! He grabbed the map and watched the people float around, just having a good time. The weather was perfect for sledding and ice skating and that seemed to be where most kids were. 

Unfortunately, he was still subject to Y/N and James laughing and talking. The closer James leaned in to her, the more his anger bubbled. James knew! The prat knew he was in love with her! And he was still doing it! Yes, he knew he wasn’t good enough for her, but come on! Right in front of him? His anger reached it’s peak when James leaned in to her ear and pulling away, pressed a feather light kiss to her cheek. Whatever James had said had made her laugh lightly and her already pink cheeks to flush brilliant red. Then with a last wink, James hopped up and left the room. No bye or anything, it was a bit odd actually. Remus gave Sirius a meaningful look as he crossed the room and followed James out, Peter scurrying after them. 

Sirius shot her a confused look only to find that she wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were trained on James’s jumper sleeves as she pulled and twisted it. His anger rose again as he remembered who’s jumper you were wearing and the kiss that had come along with it. “Well why don’t you go after your boyfriend, Y/N?” he sneered.  Her head jerked up in confusion. The way he said boyfriend had been with such disgust. Even the way he said her name. He sounded like Malfoy and those pureblood snobs. 

“He’s not my boyfriend!” She shot back, James and his stupid plan. Why had she done this? He claimed that he had made Sirius jealous but she knew that the boy didn’t have feelings her. All she’d done was make him angry. She was going to murder James if Sirius wasn’t her friend anymore after watching James disgustingly flirt with her all afternoon. 

“Well, you sure looked pretty cozy!” Sirius yelled, he was furious, all his pent up emotions leading to one big explosion. He leapt up from his bed and stormed over to where Y/N sat, her legs dangling over the edge of James’s bed, and planted himself between her legs. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Y/N whispered, he was so close, his grey eyes swirling with emotion. Anger, sadness, and maybe something more, she didn’t know. She inhaled and his scent of sugar and campfire filled her nose. Sirius looked down at her, his eyes flicking to her lips, the lips that he had been tortured by for years. And he kissed her. His hands cupped her cheeks and he ran his thumbs across her face. She stilled, shocked, was this real? But she didn’t think on it as she kissed him back, hands threading through his dark locks, pulling him down. Sirius groaned and pulled away, looking at this wonderful girl. She smiled shyly and tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. Yeah, he was a goner. 

That was the start of probably the happiest time in Sirius’s life. And Y/N’s. Sirius was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. They had been best friends before so they slipped very easily into the relationship. Y/N started spending less time in her dorm and more time asleep in Sirius’s bed. She had been the first to say ‘I love you’ because she did. She really did. And when she had, Sirius had been shocked. She loved him? His body had gone into overdrive and he just started crying. He was so goddamn lucky. Unbeknownst to Y/N, he watched her every minute of every day. He admired her. And she was his world. Without her, he didn’t know what he would do. His whole being ached for her when he was at the Potters. When they left school that summer and he went home to that desolate place that held no meaning to him, he was miserable. His muscles felt to weak to do anything and his mind just told him to go to sleep and never wake up. 2 weeks in, he hadn’t even gotten up the courage to open Y/N’s letters. It made his heart hurt just to see her owl drop them off. So naturally when she showed up at his house while his parents were at the Malfoy Gala, he was shocked. His summer turned from his worst to his best. When no one was around, she crept back in and they spent the summer playing quidditch and cuddling by the fire. Sleepy kisses on tired eyes, quiet ‘I love you’s’. Sirius would watch her as she slept in his arms, his clothes, in his bed and he would cry. Softly and not out of pain, but out of happiness. This girl, she had brought him back to Earth, gave him a reason to live. She was his home. His silk sheets would tangle her legs and his old muggle shirts would fall to her knees and he couldn’t have been happier. He had been drowning and she had saved him. She had brought him back to life. 

They were blissfully unaware that they had made a fatal mistake. Regulus. Regulus saw her come in and out and saw them fly around, laughing and loving each other like no one else could see them. But he could and when his mother asked him questions, he didn’t lie. 

“I love you” Sirius whispered into Y/N’s hair, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” She was wrapped in his covers as they just sat, enjoying being with each other. He relaxed against her and she sighed happily. 

“I love you too Siri”

Their sixth year at Hogwarts had come. They were closer then ever after the summer they had spent together. Classes were the same but something had changed. Y/N was just so so happy. She felt invincible. But, she wasn’t. She was mortal and she could still feel pain. 

She walked down the corridor after Charms, parting with Sirius and headed back to her dorm to change out of her uniform. She was cheerily walking, book in hand as she skimmed the pages, making sure she didn’t run into anyone. When she glanced up next, a group of Slytherins stood at the end of the hall, just where she needed to turn to get to the common room. It was Regulus, Sirius’s brother, and some of Sirius’s cousins. She pasted on a smile and made to pass them, not wanting any trouble. You’re fine, she reassured herself but her racing heartbeat said otherwise. She strode past them and gave Regulus a small nod. Just as she thought she was home free, a hand flipped out and grabbed her arm. Her whole body froze and she swallowed a scream. Regulus had her by the arm and marched her down the opposite corridor to an empty corner.

“Regulus! Let me go!” Y/N whispered, “Sirius will hurt you, and I don’t want that.” Even though he had trapped her here, she still felt the urge to protect him. He was Sirius’s family after all. 

“I’m just trying to help you Y/N” he replied, “I won’t beat around the bush. You can’t see Sirius.” The frustration in Y/N spiked into anger, fire licking at her insides. 

“You cannot tell me what to do! Sirius is my boyfriend, who are you to say differently?” She spat at him, disgusted. Stop seeing Sirius, he must be insane. 

“Please, it’s for your own good.” he said and handed her a stack of papers. She looked down at them in confusion. “I found them in his room,” Regulus dropped his voice “My mum found out too, and she wrote you a letter as well,” He dropped another letter into her hand. This one was sealed in an envelope. She made to turn away but Regulus was looking at her expectantly. 

“You want me to open them here?” She asked, incredulous. “What do they say?” Regulus just shook his head and slid down to sit on the floor. He patted the spot next to him. Y/N sighed and sat down and opened the first letter. 

Dear Miss Y/N,

It was recently brought to our attention that our Sirius was in a relationship with you. Now, as we are sure you are aware, we cannot have someone like you sullying the name Black. We hope this letter finds you in good health and able to fulfill our wishes. I, Walburga Black, command you to break off all relations with my son, Sirius Orion Black.  You are not and never will be good enough for this house. You are nothing, nothing but a filthy mudblood. You ruin my son and you will only further his destruction. If you do not comply, I do hope that you understand that we will do everything in our power to stop this. But, I believe you are a smart child, for a mudblood, and I hope that I will not have to waste anymore time or breath on you. 

The Noble House of Black

“Your joking, right?” Y/N laughed, “I couldn’t do that to him, I wouldn’t! I don’t care about some Noble House of Black!” She again went to get up but Regulus caught her wrist. 

“Y/N, I don’t want you to have to do this either, but I think you should. Look at the notes from Sirius. He wrote those this summer. I found them and then my mum gave me the letter. I don’t want my mum to be the reason you break it off but there’s more to the story. I just don’t want you getting hurt in the end.” Anyone else would’ve told her that there was no way he really cared, but Y/N insisted upon seeing the good in everyone so she sat down again and opened the notes.

June 28

Y/N came to see me. Dear god, that women is going to be the death of me. Y/N smiled, remembering the day she had snuck in. I can’t wait to tell Mum all about how I had her, in the bed she bought for me. The filthy mudblood tangled in her sheets that she bought. Y/N’s face fell along with her heart. Mudblood? He would never. Y/N, so naïve, really thinks I’d be into her. That’s what makes it perfect. She would never guess that her only purpose is to spite my mother. Like I really care. It doesn’t help that I get sex. I mean I could have any girl but damn, she gave herself to me to fast. Even I didn’t know I was that good. Either way, she has to find out eventually. I mean I can’t marry her. Mudblood. Imagine that. She’s not even pretty. Kind of fat actually. More hips then I normally see...

The notes went on and on and on. Y/N felt her heart crack and shatter. Tears streamed down her face. She was just a mudblood that he had used. She felt dumb and most of all, betrayed.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N” Regulus said, “I just wanted to make sure you knew.” She turned away in an a

She didn’t respond just gathered the letters and fled. In her dorm, she flopped on to her bed and just cried. She cried for the boy who she thought loved her, who she still loved. She cried because she wasn’t good enough, because she nothing at all. The girls in her dorm had soon filed in and tried to pry the story out of her. She just tossed the letters at them and continued crying. Jane, one of the girls, held her as she shook and sobbed until she fell asleep. She refused to go to any classes the next day, or the next week. She didn’t eat, she didn’t sleep. All she wanted do to was die. Dark circles lived under eyes and her bones began to show through. There was nothing the girls could do, she had shut herself inside the curtains of her bed. Her heart had been broken and she was pretty sure there was no putting it back together. 

The Marauders were worried. Y/N hadn’t been in class in weeks and many teachers were getting suspicious. Remus had tried to visit her but the Hufflepuff girls had barred his way through. Sirius was going mad without her. He couldn’t focus in class, his eyes were always on her empty seat. He laughed and joked with the Marauders but his smiles didn’t reach his eyes. His dreams were filled of her. Her. Her laugher, her smile, her hands, her lips on his. Finally, he’d had enough. James mentioned missing Y/N to Remus and him in the common room and that was it. “I’m going to get her” He said and he stormed out. Remus could feel the anger radiating off of him and knew he would need to be there to put the fire out. He ran off behind him and trailed him to the dorms. The Hufflepuff dorms were one of the hardest to get into so they waited until a boy came out and Sirius stormed in. Remus tried to grab Sirius and calm him down but it was to no avail. He was already charming the stairs and starting up. 

“Sirius! Please! Just calm down!” Remus cried, desperately trying to pull him back. Knowing him, he might say something he would regret.

“No Remus.” Sirius’s voice was colder then Remus had ever heard it. “My girlfriend is ignoring me and I intend to figure out why.” Sirius ripped the door open and found Y/N’s curtains drawn shut. Before Remus could say anything, Sirius had flung the curtains open. Remus watched Sirius freeze, his whole body tense. He stepped forward to look past Sirius and was shocked. Y/N was curled on the bed, eyes wide. She had bags and purple circles under each eye. Her cheeks were sunken in, and her shirt hung off of her in a odd way. She looked like shit. 

“Si-Sirius?” she whimpered, and her eyes filled with tears. Remus looked at the bed and found pictures shattered and things thrown everywhere. She was a mess.

“Yes.” Sirius snapped, “You know, your BOYFRIEND!” Y/N flinched and her face hardened. 

“Oh really? OH REALLY? MY BOYFRIEND?!” she yelled, fury edging in her tone.

“YES YOUR BOYFRIEND!” he screamed back, his face red and his hands gesturing wildly. 

“ARE YOU SURE? I THOUGHT I WAS JUST A MUDBLOOD, TOO NAIVE, TOO UGLY FOR YOU! I LOVED YOU AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THAT! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!” She was out of bed now and standing chest to chest with Sirius. On the last word she shoved him back and caught off guard he stumbled into Remus. Remus was in shock, what had happened? “Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?” With that you turned on your heel and ran out of the dorm. Sirius stood and watched as you got smaller and smaller and with step she took, his anger ebbed a little. And then she was gone, leaving behind the boy who loved her. 

[seaweedbrain404]

Wolfstar Au! : Parties and Morning Regrets

read it on ao3

pt2

Parties weren’t exactly Remus’ scene. It’s not that he hated the loud noise, smelly sweaty drunk people who constantly bumped into him or the inevitable hangover he would be most certainly having the next day. Except, he did hate all of those things, so why was he there?

The answer was simple: Lily Evans. Aka his best friend and flatmate. She had wanted to go, Remus couldn’t remember why. Maybe it was for a birthday? or a promotion? He couldn’t recall. Although that might’ve been the effects of the copious amounts of alcohol he had managed to consume in the past few hours. Remus wasn’t a light weight by any means so it really was copious amounts.

Drunk and a little annoyed because Lily had ditched him at some point and now he couldn’t find her, Remus made his way to the corner of the room where he could hopefully be left alone. He’d also have to keep an eye out for her, in case she needed help or in case she wanted to leave. He doubted any of those things, vaguely remembering that Lily wanted to go to the party to get laid. Which was fair.

Remus was propped up against the wall, drink in hand when it all went downhill. He only just began to entertaining the idea of either finding Lily and telling her he was going him or getting laid himself. He preferred the latter but didn’t have much of a say in it when someone came up next to him.

“Remus Lupin?”

Remus’ brain short circuited when he heard the voice. This was proof the universe hated him. As if the accident that happened shortly after he and Lily had moved to New York had been any indication of the universe having it out for him.

“What?” He managed to sound vaguely disinterested as his gaz met the other person’s.

Sirius Black looked the same as he did when they were 17. Same stupid leather jacket and everything. It made Remus want to groan because it was so stupid, he thought he’d left all of this back in England. Clearly he was about to be proven wrong.

Sirius shrunk back at the tone. He wasn’t used to Remus being so cold and bitter. Remus didn’t care though, Sirius had hurt him and he had some nerve coming up to him again.

“Just thought I’d say hi”

“Well, hi”

“Mmm...” Sirius paused for a moment, “how have you been?”

“Grand”

“Oh.... did you get into that school you wanted?” Sirius tried again and Remus almost felt bad for him.

If Remus wasn’t intoxicated, he would’ve told Sirius to go away. Instead he answered the question. “No, got my second choice though”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be” Remus didn’t want the pity Sirius was so clearly trying to offer. He had gotten over himself, it was years ago that he got rejected from his first school of choice and his second one was still really good. Then a thought occurred to him, “why are you in New York?”

“Oh!” Sirius seemed surprised by the question, Remus couldn’t blame him. He hadn’t been exactly pleasant up until this point. “Business opportunity for my dad’s firm, he wanted me to check it out and James already lived close enough to here”

Of course, still doing your family’s bidding when we both know you hate it, Remus had to stop himself from saying. Instead, he settled on a nod and took a sip of the drink in his hand.

“What about you?” He asked timidly.

Remus wasn’t used to Sirius being timid. Sirius had always been loud, demanding attention and boisterous. Maybe it was the party or maybe it was seeing Remus after so long that knocked the wind out of him just like it did to Remus. Hence why he was acting like a bit of a dick.

“Lily and I both wanted out”

That was all there was to it. Lily and Remus had been best friends and grew up together in a small town just off the coast of England. It horribly small minded and suffocating. It only got worse when Remus came out. Lily wanted to go to New York to get away from her sister and start a small bakery. For Remus, she was the ideal ticket out of there. He had been hesitant at first, up until he tried to speak to his father for more than ten minutes at a time. Then he was certain he had to leave. His mum wouldn’t have wanted him to stay if he was unhappy and if Lyall couldn’t get his shit together without him, well that wasn’t his problem anymore.

“I don’t blame you” came Sirius’ answer. “Compared to that shithole, New York is a breath of fresh air”

Remus chuckled at that, mood lightening. Was it the alcohol or was it him actually missing Sirius? He’d blame it on the alcohol.

“How is Lily?”

“She’s good, snogging some bloke right now I think” Remus shrugged.

“Good for her” Sirius nodded and Remus swore he could see the other glance down at his lips.

“What are you thinking about?” Remus knew he was asking a very dangerous question but his drunken mind pushed for it.

Clearly, Sirius was drunk enough to look at Remus and smile and as he said, “kissing you”

“Then do it”

Remus said this without thinking of the consequences. A very un-Remus thing to do.

Sirius obeyed though, stepping closer and closing the distance between them. Remus forgot what it was like to kiss Sirius. He could taste the alcohol, and the same cigarettes as when they were teenagers. The new taste was coffee, a welcome addition to what Remus already knew and remembered.

He suddenly wondered if anything else was the same. Throwing caution to the wind, Remus gently bit down on Sirius’ lip and in turn, Sirius parted his lips. This allowed Remus to slip his tongue in, his brain short circuiting again.

He pulled away breathless and Sirius grabbed his hand. “Let’s get out of here”

Remus let himself be dragged away from the corner and outside. He didn’t bother asking where until Sirius started hailing a cab. That’s when the alarms bells sounded.

“No! let’s- no not the cab... I’ll- I’ll get sick” This was of course a lie. Remus knew this and if Sirius remembered how good Remus’ drinking health was, then he knew it was a lie too. He didn’t say anything though. Maybe it was the panic in his fear-stricken eyes that made Sirius back down.

Remus felt stupid, not wanting to take the cab but it made perfect sense in his head. One late night coming home from work, he had taken a cab and got in a terrible accident. An accident that left violent scars all over his right side. An accident that made him quit his job and not want to get into a car ever again.

Despite all this, Sirius, bloody Sirius who was always so understanding even while drunk, squeezed Remus’ hand and started walking.

Remus decided he didn’t feel bad for not taking the cab. It wasn’t a long walk to where Sirius was currently staying. It was a nice, fancy and very expensive hotel. He instantly felt out of place.

Sirius didn’t seem to notice though. He also didn’t notice the receptionist giving him a funny look. A look which Remus knew too well and made him feel more than a little insecure. If it wasn’t for the alcohol coursing through his system, he would’ve gone home.

Fortunately, Remus didn’t get the chance to dwell of any of this simply because the second they were in the lift, Sirius was pressing him against the wall. All the kissing made Remus feel a bit dizzy. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been in relationships or had one night stands after Sirius. It was more the fact that it was Sirius.

Somehow (Remus can’t recall the details) they ended up in Sirius’ hotel room. Remus would later regret the events that took place that night for a while.

The next morning, Remus woke up naked and hungry. Not a great combination. He felt a hand draped over his waist, pulling him closer.

“Morning” Came Sirius’ sleepy voice.

Shit

Remus pushed Sirius away, establishing a small distance between them. He was about to go for his phone when it started ringing, this caused Sirius to groan and cover his ears.

Remus pick up, it was Lily. “Hi? what’s up?”

“Remus John Lupin”

“That’s my name?”

“Tonight was my turn”

Right. This meant that she didn’t have the keys to their apartment and that Remus did.

“Sorry”

“Just come home, quickly? You’ll never guess who i slept with last night”

“I’m intrigued”

“Then hurry up! I’m going to be catch pneumonia”

“Alright how does i’m-sorry-for-leaving-you-out-in-the-cold-coffee sound?”

“I suppose I could forgive you” Remus could practically hear the smile in her voice.

“Give me a few minutes, I’m on my way”

“Be safe, love you”

“Love you too”

When Remus hung up and looked over at Sirius, his brain short circuited for the third time since they’d met last night. Sirius Black was beautiful in the morning, he was breathtaking every time of day but he was especially beautiful in the mornings. With his shoulder length black hair, sharp cheekbones, pale skin and grey eyes, he always looked melancholy. Even when he was smiling. Remus supposed there was a sort of tragic look about Sirius that drew a lot of people in. It didn’t help that Remus’ favourite colour used to be grey.

“Who was it?” Sirius’ voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Lily. I should- I really have to go” When Remus said this, Sirius’ face fell.

“Can I drive you home?”

Remus climbed out of bed and stopped, he was in the middle of pulling his jeans back on. “No, it’s not too far, I’ll walk”

Sirius started getting out of bed too. “At least let me walk you then” He walked over to the suitcase and pulled out his own clothes, getting dressed as well.

“Fine but I have to stop for coffee” Remus replied, not being able to come up with a good enough excuse to ditch him. He finished buttoning up his shirt and pulled the sweater he wore last night over his head. It smelled like bad beer and cheap vodka. He was in desperate need of a shower the second he got home.

They walked in silence, from the room to the lift and outside in complete silence until Sirius spoke up again. “How are you?” he asked.

Remus looked at him, a frown quickly taking over his features. He remembered the sincere tone and genuine look in Sirius’ eyes from the time his mum passed away, sometime in fifth year. “You don’t get to ask that”

“Oh... I’m sorry”

“I know you are”

“You’re different” Sirius said, sounding a little uncertain.

“People are allowed to change Sirius” Remus’ tone was cold. He was in no mood for this, he just wanted to get the coffee and get home as quickly as possible.

Sirius soldiered on, as if Remus hadn’t said a thing. “You’re taller.... your hair is longer and curlier, you have plasters all over your fingers and scars, the scars are new”

Remus’ shoulders tensed at that. Who was Sirius to be saying all these things? And more importantly, why was he saying all this. It’s not like Remus didn’t know that he changed since they were 17. It had been years.

“Am I allowed to ask about the scars?”

“I got into an accident”

“How bad was it?”

“No, you’re not allowed to ask that”

“Right” It was clear Sirius was grasping at straws at this point, anything to keep the conversation going. “The plasters?”

“I work in a bakery”

“As if that explains it” Sirius huffed, a lot more Sirius-like than whatever he was like before. That was the Sirius he remembered. “What about me?

“What about you?”

“Have I changed?”

Remus thought for a moment. He wanted to say no, everything about Sirius was the same; he looked the same and his clothes were also the same. Another thing that didn’t change was him clearly being under his parents’ thumb. Yet, there was something about Sirius that was very un-Sirius and Remus couldn’t place what.

“No” He replied, ducking into a coffee shop to avoid the conversation from progressing further.

After buying three coffees, the two men were off again. They walked in silence for about five seconds before Sirius spoke up again.

“Why are you being like this?”

“I don’t know what you mean” Lie. Remus knew exactly what he meant but he refused to acknowledge it. Besides, the walk was starting to do a number on his hip and he had to slow down.

Sirius frowned at him. “Being all.....” he gestured vaguely with his hands, he had never been good with words, despite going to a private boarding school (he and Lily were scholarship students). Remus thought it was ironic, you’d think someone that rich would be at least a little more eloquent.

“You’re being distant”

“No offense but I’m not usually all cuddly and sweet with one night stands, I’m sorry”

Unfortunately it seemed that Sirius had taken offense to being called just a one night stand because he took a sip of his coffee and stuff a hand in his jacket.

“Asshole” Sirius mumbled.

“Sure, I’m the asshole”

Hurt flashed across Sirius’ face. “That’s not fair”

“I didnt say it was”

Sirius scowled even further and Remus just smiled. “I’m trying to be nice, I don’t get why you’re still being so mean”

Remus looked down, suddenly feeling really bad. “Sorry”

“Can we just talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about” Remus sighed. “You haven’t changed, your parents still dictate your life and by the looks of it, you’ve stopped rebelling”

Now it’s Sirius’ turn to look down. Remus had his a sore spot, that much was clear.

Neither said anything for the rest of the walk, until Remus started limping enough for Sirius to notice.

“Are you okay?” Concern filled his pretty grey eyes.

“I told you- the accident... it’s not too far now, I’ll be okay”

Sirius looked unconvinced but didn’t say anything else. He was probably too scared that Remus would snap at him again.

The silence resumed til they saw Lily, who ran up and pulled Remus into a death grip hug when she saw him, causing him to nearly drop the two coffees he was holding.

“What took so long?” She let go of him, studying his face, “don’t tell me you walked all the way here, you dolt”

“That would be lying though” Remus quipped with a smile.

Lily shook her head. “Idiot” she muttered, taking the coffee cups from Remus as he fished out the keys to let them inside.

Lily’s gaze travelled between Sirius and Remus, silently giving Remus the ‘oh god you slept with him didn’t you’ look. “I’ll go on ahead”

Once Lily disappeared upstairs, Sirius opened his mouth to say something but Remus stopped him with a hand in the air.

“Do you want to come upstairs?” He asked, not sure if he was going to regret this later or not.

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, yeah... if that’s okay with you”

Remus held the door open. He could give this a chance, maybe it wouldn’t end as bad as it did when they were 17. He had changed and maybe, somewhere deeper so had Sirius. For once, Remus let himself hope.

“You wanna know why I stopped rebelling?”

Remus hummed in response.

“I didn’t have anything left to fight for, now I might” with small smile he ducked into the apartment building.

Remus followed in after a moment. Thinking about how this could be finally something good. Maybe the universe doesn’t hate him as much as he thought it did. Maybe the universe was trying to shove him in the right direction again.

[martialstories]

Tape to tape - Intro

Coops - High School AU

All credits for the world & the characters for @lumosinlove . Truly obsessed with SW and Coast to coast so this is my shot at writing something in that world. English isn’t my first language and this is my first time posting anything so I’m kinda nervous but here we go!

Coops High School AU. Takes place in Montreal, Canada and the age difference is the same (1 year, Remus being the older one). I hope to write more parts to this but we’ll see.

I have no idea how the Canadian high school works, but I googled, so Remus is on grade 11 and Sirius is on grade 10 during this fic. (Basically Junior and Sophomore) On other chapters they might be on different grades.

Happy reading!

___________________________________________________

Tw: mentions of child abuse

”Loops! You coming?” Sirius shouted from the bench. Remus was on ice practicing slapshots in rapid sets.

”Jeez, calm down! Five more and I’ll be there with you.” He shouted back and skated over after the shots. ”Let’s go. I need to stretch before shower.”

”I know you do. Plus, we always stretch after practice. You still up for teaching me how the First World War went down?” Sirius asked while walking towards the locker room where the music was playing loudly.

”You really are hopeless at history. You know that right?” Remus turned his back to Sirius to hide his smile. He knew Sirius wasn’t stupid but most of the time hockey just came first and school second.

”Oh come on Re! Please, please, please! I’ll fail if you don’t help me!” Remus glanced at pleading Sirius in the stall next to his. He was looking back at him with wide eyes. The rest of the locker room continued to buzz in the background as the two locked eyes.

”Of course I’ll help you. Now, let’s go to the gym.” The clock was already 4.30 p.m. so if they wanted to get everything done and have time to relax in the evening they really should get going.

After cooling down for about 15 minutes the locker room was starting to empty out. Remus and Sirius said bye to the players leaving the rink as they made their way towards the showers. After stripping from their under armours the locker room was completely empty.

”Boys, you are the last ones. Can you turn off the lights and lock the door after you?” coach asked from the door.

”Of course, coach. See you tomorrow!” Remus answered for the both of them. ”Thank you, Remus. Tomorrow at 10 a.m.” Coach reminded them and left the doorway.

Immediately after the door closed Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand and dragged him into the showers startling a little laugh out of Remus. ”Pads! Are you in a hurry somewhere?”

”Yes”, Sirius answered shortly before turning around, slinging his arms around Remus’s neck and pecking his lips. ”Finally alone.” Sirius whispered with his lips against Remus’s.

Remus kissed him back for a while before pulling back. ”I know. But the faster we are done here the faster we can get home and behind closed doors.”

”Good point, Loops”, Sirius quipped. He turned around and stepped under the shower causing Remus to tense in pain at the sight of his back. Sirius turned back towards Remus, hiding his back again. ”Hurry up, Loop- Shit, I forgot about those.”

Remus walked towards him until he could wrap his arms around Sirius’s shoulders and press close to him under the spray. Carefully he slid his arms over Sirius’s back where there was a couple of purple bruises. A year before Sirius would have just laughed him off, saying that he just bruised easily from hits on ice. These days Remus knew which bruises were from ice and which weren’t.

”You could come stay at mine for a few days, you know? My parents wouldn’t mind”, Remus suggested quietly.

”I don’t want to be a bother, I was at yours last weekend.”

”You are not a both-” Remus tried to argue before Sirius cut him off. ”I know, I know but it isn’t even as bad as it usually is. Father was too drunk yesterday so it wasn’t that bad.”

Remus just hugged him tighter while letting the water fall on them.

”So when are you going to get your license Pads? Soon you’ll be 17 and I’m getting tired of being your personal taxi driver.” Remus teased the dark haired boy while they walked towards Remus’s car. It wasn’t big or new but Remus didn’t need much and he was happy with it.

”Hey! Don’t bully me, you old man! Plus, I know you really love it.” Sirius smirked at Remus before getting into the car.

Remus threw his phone at Sirius. ”Be grateful, and I’m only a year older than you! Now call my mom and tell her we’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

”Yes, sir!” Sirius pushed the call button as Remus started the car. ”Hello, Hope! Thanks, I’m fine. Yes, we’ll be there in 20 minutes. Okay, see you!” He ended the call after Remus turned towards their homes from the traffic lights. He placed the phone on the cup holder and grabbed Remus’s hand. Remus smiled at their intertwined hands and raised them to his lips to give Sirius’s hand a kiss. Sirius blushed and turned the music on louder.

After dining with the rest of the Lupin’s Remus and Sirius went up to Remus’s room to study. 5-year-old Jules wanted to come with them but after realising they were just going to study he got bored of the idea and decided to watch cartoons instead.

“If we study now for an hour and a half and get everything done, we can relax afterwards. How does that sound?” Remus planned out loud as he threw his laundry off a chair and pulled it to the table for Sirius to use.

“That sounds good. Can we cuddle afterwards?” Sirius made puppy dog eyes at Remus. “Of course we’ll cuddle! But first we’ll have to study. Now, can you tell me when did the First WW start?”

At 8 p.m. sharp Sirius closed both his and Remus’s books and flopped on the bed. He had been determined to go home for the night but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night? We can go get you a mattress now and if you have to get something from home we can drive through yours before morning practice.” Remus proposed softly.

Sirius let out a little huff and after pondering it a while he let out a little sound of confirmation. “I need to call Regulus to check on him but he should be okay since Linda is there. It’s Friday so my parents are out for the night so they won’t care if I stay here.”

He drew his phone from his pocket to call his brother. Regulus answered after a couple of peeps and confirmed that indeed only he and their maid Linda were at home. Sirius told him that he would stay at Lupin’s and closed the phone after wishing good night.

“Now let’s get you a mattress that you won’t need.” Remus said and helped Sirius from the bed.

“Mon dieu, I’m so tired.” Sirius said yawning as they walked down the stairs towards the storage.

“Boys? Is that you?” Could be heard from the living room. They turned towards the living room where Hope and Lyall were watching the news. “Hey, it’s getting quite late. Are you Sirius staying or do you need someone to drive you home?” Lyall asked kindly.

“I’d like to stay, if that’s okay.” Sirius answered.

Hope smiled at him, “Of course that is fine, hun! Just remember you have morning practice so don’t stay up for too long.”

“Yep, we won’t. We are just going to get Pads a mattress and get something to eat before bed.” Remus answered over his shoulder, already continuing towards the storage room.

“Okay, sleep well!” “Good night!”

After Remus and Sirius had set up Sirius’s mattress just in case someone checked on them they made their way to the fridge. Training usually left them really hungry before bed and this night wasn’t an exception.

Their successful heist to the fridge eased their hunger and they got ready for bed. Brushing their teeth was a bit messy ordeal as it included the usual elbow-knocking and the toothpaste marks on their cheeks from kisses.

Remus spooned Sirius from behind as they laid on his bed. The sky was clear and the moon shined through his window creating a soft glow around them.

“What are you thinking about?” Remus’s whisper sounded almost too loud in the quiet.

“You. I truly don’t know how I got so lucky finding you.” Sirius twisted in Remus’s arms to see his face.

Remus smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss Sirius’s lips. The kiss was broken off by Sirius yawning.

Remus chuckled quietly. “Good night.” “Good night.” Was muttered by Sirius before he burrowed his head to Remus’s chest and closed his eyes.

[thinkingimmensely]

Like an Open Book VIII

Part 1 | Part 7 | Part 9

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m sorry for the long hiatus! I mentioned in my previous updates that life has been a roller coaster and the pandemic isn’t helping at all. But I’m slowly getting back on my feet and I actually enjoy writing again lately. So here’s the long awaited update for this story! <3  I hope everyone is doing great, stay safe guys! 

Also, I tried something different in the start, I hope ya’ll don’t mind! :D

MASTERLIST

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from the Potterverse!

___________________

E c h o e s

Your mind was like a cave that had voices bouncing off its walls; echoing deeper in its crevice.

You’ve lost yourself in that cave countless of times before, each one was not a moment you looked back on fondly. Now you’re back and it seemed like the rocky walls of thoughts were closing in on you.

C    l   o   s  i  n g   r i g h t   in

Covering your ears didn’t help, but you did it anyway. People were running amok; children were being separated from their parents, friends were losing each other in the crowd and you couldn’t focus even if you had to- the voices in reality was being mixed with the ones in your head.

Everyone was screaming.

You felt someone pull you away just as a flash of green hit the spot where you just stood.

You didn’t even know who he was.

“Y/N, are you all right?!” The person shook you, and you looked into hazel eyes that were wide with worry and fright. His hands held you by your shoulders in a vice-like grip and you were pretty sure he wasn’t even aware of it himself. “Stay with me. Focus on me.” His voice left no room for argument and you found yourself keenly aware of how close your bodies were. If the both of you weren’t stuck in this life or death situation, you would’ve turned into a million shades of red right now.

The both of you were hunched back behind some bushes, shielding you from the sight of any Death Eater around the area. He pried your hands away from your ears, his eyes never leaving yours, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”  

You didn’t realize you were crying until now, but everything in your head seemed quieter as James Potter’s thoughts drowned everyone else’s away. I’ll keep you safe, we’ll get out of here, we’ll get out. You breathed in a shaky breath and got your wand out of the pocket of your hoodie. “I won’t let anything happen to you too.”

-FIVE DAYS AGO-

You and Remus shared a look as the three boys who sat across from you devoured their ice cream as fast as they could; seems like the concept of brain freeze was foreign to them.

The five of you were currently at the ice cream parlor Remus had mentioned in his letter. He was quite surprised when the lot of you arrived, quite the contrary to when you, James, and Sirius had gone to get Peter; the blonde was quite ecstatic, having already packed his stuff. It was as if he was already waiting for you guys to arrive even though none of the boys had sent a word beforehand of the plans.

The parlor was jam-packed with people trying to escape from the heat, it was a miracle that you even found seats to begin with.

You heard a series of hushed whispers and giggling and you turned to see the girls from the neighboring table eye the boys with you, particularly Sirius. It was something to get used to- gathering the attention of people by being associated with these four, and you didn’t know if you’d ever get used to it.  

Remus gained your attention soon enough by asking how the boys were able to get you to go with them. James had no problem retelling the entire endeavor in your stead though, saying that you glossed over the best parts and to let the pro-storyteller do the talking. Much to your dismay and embarrassment, he had included the part where you nearly fell off Sirius’ bike on the way to Peter’s.

Remus’s chuckles died down as he grinned at you, “Cheer up Y/N, I’m sure you’ll get a hang of it soon enough.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, “Yeah, no. I’m not riding that thing-” You pointed your spoon to the motorbike parked right across the street under some tree for shade. “-ever again.”  

Sirius grinned at you but before he could get a word out, one if the girls had arrived at your table, a confident glint in her eye and a light blush across her powdered face. “Hey.” She greeted.

A chorus of hey’s and hello’s rang out from your group in reply.

“Um, so my friends and I couldn’t help but notice you guys and we just wanted to ask if you lot wanted to hang out back at my place? We have a pool and everything and we could just chill y’know?” She flipped her long, silky blonde hair back her shoulders.

You tore your eyes away from her and saw Peter awaiting the other’s answer, you knew he wanted them to say yes without even having to look into his mind. Remus looked uncomfortable while James and Sirius shared a look.

“Sorry, but we’re kind of busy later.” Sirius drawled out smoothly. “Y’see we’re only here for a couple of hours before we leave.”

Disappointment flashed in her eyes but she still looked quite determined, “Well what about we hang out right now? You guys can order another serving of ice cream.”

Sirius beamed at her, his perfect white pearls showing. “Sorry lovely, but we’re kind of in a middle of something.” It was James who replied this time. He had also stolen a spoonful of your ice cream, sighing in delight of the cool treat.  

The girl turned away in a huff, angry at the rejection. After everyone was done eating, you guys stood up to leave, you followed behind the boys, not at all that eager to get out of the cool building and into the scorching heat.

“I don’t understand why you guys came all the way out here to get me when I could’ve just used the Floo network to get to James’.” Remus said once the five of you neared his house.  

“And pass up the chance to try out my new bike? No sir.” Sirius snorted.

“Besides,” James started, “We wanted to try that ice cream shop you mentioned in your letters.”  

You trailed behind them as you listened to their conversation, kicking some pebbles out of your way. The heat was beating down you with the afternoon sun and you could feel the sweat trickle down your forehead, which you hastily wiped away. The walk to Remus’ house was fairly far, probably because his parents thought it was better to isolate themselves (albeit not totally) due to their son’s condition.  

“You alright Y/N?” James asked as he matched his pace with yours, his three friends talking a few feet ahead of them. He fished out a handkerchief from his pocket and ran it through your forehead. “I guess you don’t do well with heat?”

“I just haven’t been outside for a while.” You replied and flushed as he dabbed his handkerchief behind your neck. You immediately took the hankie from him, “Icoulddothatmyselfthankyou.” You hastily blurted. You missed the amused smirks the three boys threw your way having just witness the scene because you were busy being too self-conscious about yourself to notice.  

When you reached the humble home of the Lupins, his father Lyall Lupin, greeted all of you warmly while his mother, Hope, sat by the dinner table, a book on her lap as she drank her afternoon tea. “You must be Y/N,” She smiled fondly at you before Remus could even introduce you. “You’re much prettier in person than from the photograph.” She held out her hand and you reached out to shake it, confusion evident on your face.  

Sirius beamed brightly, “Pardon me, was I hearing things or is it true that Remus keeps a photograph of Y/N?” He turned to look at James in amusement, the bespectacled boy looked absolutely annoyed with this new piece of information.  

“Mother, honestly,” Remus whined, “I keep a picture of all my close friends. You’re giving them the wrong idea.” Hope laughed softly, apologizing for teasing her son.  

The Lupin couple nonchalantly agreed to let Remus visit the Potter residence, they were glad he was going out to spend time with his friends actually, completely different from your family who just wanted you out of the house because they didn’t want to deal with you.  

James, Remus, and yourself would be taking the Floo Network from this point while Sirius and Peter would continue the journey using Sirius’ bike just because it wouldn’t fit inside the fireplace. James headed towards the Fireplace first while Remus said his goodbyes to his parents.  

“Have a grand time, son.” Lyall patted him on the shoulder while his mother gave him a hug. “Take care, Remus, have fun.”  

You turned away and approached James instead of lingering around the family. “So,” you started, “I heard you had a lake behind your house.”

He grinned at you, “You been asking about me?” You could practically feel his ego inflating with the very thought. 

“No,” You deadpanned, “Remus just told me you guys take dips there every summer.” You answered, wiping the grin off of his face. He furrowed his brows at you and his mouth formed a thin line. Was bringing his huge head back down to earth really that bad? You waited for him to reply, and he was about to, but Remus arrived at that moment, his backpack slung over his shoulders, he took his place beside you which irked the raven-haired boy more.  

You arrived at the Potter’s residence without a hitch, and Fleamont and Euphemia Potter greeted all of you, already expecting your arrival. They gave you the extra bedroom to yourself while the boys would be sharing James’ room. James had already taken the liberty to deposit your bag there while Euphemia brewed tea and baked cookies for everyone.  

“Is there anything I can help with?” You asked the aging lady as she scurried about the kitchen. Fleamont and Remus were at the living room playing Wizard’s Chess.  

“Oh, you can place the cookies on a plate Y/N dear, I think they’ve cooled down now.” She answered, flashing a motherly smile your way. Such a pretty, young lass.  

“Thank you.” you answered, flushing from the compliment.

Euphemia looked at you questioningly, “Whatever for, dear?”

Oh. You mentally smacked yourself. Why the hell did you keep on doing this? You should really pay more attention. “I mean, for having us over.” Nice save.  

Euphemia waved you off, “It’s nothing dear. Friends of Jamie is always welcomed here. Thank you also, for putting up with the boys, I know they can be a handful sometimes, but they’re good lads.”

“Something smells heavenly in here.” James’ voice boomed as he entered the kitchen. Before you could transfer the cookie to the plate, James appeared right beside you and took a bite. You turned to him but was taken aback by how close he was that your noses were nearly bumping each other. Whatever you were about to say was forgotten as you could feel your blood rush to your face.  

He was so close that you could see the golden specks on those ocean eyes behind his dark-rimmed glasses. Someone cleared their throat and you immediately moved back, keeping your emotions and you Legilimency at check. Because whatever that feeling was that glazed on the eyes of the boy, you didn’t want to know.  

“You two seem close.” Sirius’ commented, his shit-eating on that obnoxious face.

“Oh, sod of Pads.” James retorted as you busied yourself, obviously feeling awkward about whatever just happened.  

“James, mind your manners.” His mother scolded as Sirius approached the older woman and greeted her with a hug. “Had a safe ride, Sirius?” She asked.

“That’s right, not one itsy bitsy accident.” He replied and took a cookie from the cooling rack. “You still make the best cookies, Euphemia.”  

“I’ll take these to the others then.” You mumbled, Euphemia calling out a thank you before you completely escaped the kitchen.  

You took your seat beside Remus after you set the cookies on the coffee table. They were just about finished with the game and Fleamont was losing.  

“Okay?” Remus asked when you sat down, you flashed him ma smile and nodded, so he turned back to the game. “I think that’s checkmate, sir.”  

Fleamont stared at the board for a couple of seconds before sighing in defeat; he held out his hand, which Remus gladly shook. “Good game as always, Remus.”

“Always a pleasure.” The brunette replied. James and Sirius entered the living room carrying the teapot and cups, setting the things down on table beside the cookies.  

“I almost forgot!” Sirius exclaimed when Remus started pouring tea for everyone. He fished out a crumpled paper from the pocket of jacket and presented it to you guys. “A concert!”

You huddled together as you tried to read the fine print. “A Muggle concert.” You pointed out. You’ve never been in one of those, but you weren’t a fan from the get-go. Didn’t concerts normally have a lot of people?

“Sounds brilliant!” James took the poster from his best friend’s hands and read it, “It says it takes place 5 days from now at the next town.”

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea-” Remus tried to object, and with the concerned look he gave you, you know it was on your benefit.  

“Oh come on, lighten up Moony. This will be epic.” Sirius argued.  

“I-I agree, I think it’ll be fun.” You voiced out hesitantly and Sirius looked at you with a bright smile.

“See?! Even Y/N agrees with me. Don’t be such a sour potato and let’s just go to enjoy. It is summer after all.

“Are you sure?” Remus whispered.  

“It’ll be fine.” You tried to convince not only Remus, but also yourself. It’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen, right?

___________________ 

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[fruitcoops]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could do another fic involving jules and coops together? Just like sweet moments between the three? I loved the baby sitting series you did and could not stop thinking about it❤️❤️ Thank you!!

Yeah, of course! I love writing my boy at any opportunity. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but the relatives are my ocs!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Sirius asked under his breath as Remus finally—finally—appeared from the mass of people.

“It’s fine,” Remus said around a forced smile to a middle-aged man across the yard.

Sirius hid his mouth by pretending to look down at the nearest casserole dish. He didn’t even know what was in it; nobody had bothered with labels, and everyone’s dishes were the same basic florals in different colors. “I love you, Re, and I totally get the whole ‘meet the parents’ thing, but this is a bit much if I’m being honest.”

“Honey.” Remus’ shoulder pressed against his own. “I’m sorry you’re not having a good time, but my Aunt Jen would skin me alive if I didn’t bring the man I’m marrying to the family reunion. We can leave tomorrow if you really hate—oh, no.”

“Remus!” a shrill, excited voice called. Sirius felt his fiancé straighten up as a tall, redheaded woman in star-painted jeans hurried across the grass with three other women in tow. She reached up and gave Remus’ cheeks a squish, then leaned in a planted a lipstick-stamped kiss to his forehead. “How are you, my duckling? Was your flight alright? Make sure you stay away from the salt or else your feet will swell.”

“Hi, Aunt Jen,” Remus said, grimacing a little at her rib-crushing hug. “I’m doing well, and our flight was fine. How are you?”

“Peachy keen,” she assured him. Dark brown eyes lasered in on Sirius half a second later and he felt his fight or flight kick in. “And who are you?”

“Aunt Jen, this is—”

“It was rhetorical, honey,” Jen interrupted with a pat to Remus’ arm as she stepped closer to Sirius and immediately hauled him in for a hug. She was as tall as Remus, but broader in the shoulders and hips; he had never felt so engulfed by someone. It was a strangely enjoyable feeling.

“Aren’t you a handsome one?” the shortest of the group cooed, as if she was talking to a particularly small dog in a purse. “Our Remus always knew how to pick them.”

Remus furrowed his brows. “Aunt Lisa, this is the first boyfriend I’ve—”

“But he’s not just a boyfriend!” Jen trilled, giving Sirius’ cheek a pat. “He’s a fiancé, something I learned from your mother. Not from your father—oh, I gave him a talking-to about that—and not from you, duck.”

Sirius bit back a laugh at the nickname and spared a glance to his left, where Remus had gone pink all the way to his ears. “Sorry.”

“Introduce us!” the shortest insisted, taking the other two by the hands as pulling them forward with an eager smile.

“Everyone, this is Sirius Black, my fiancé.” Remus gestured between them, and the four women beamed at him. “Sirius, this is Aunt Jen, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Allison, and Aunt Mary, my dad’s sisters.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Sirius said, holding a hand out.

“No need to be so formal,” the brunette grumbled with a teasing grin. “We have heard so much about you from Lyall. After those damned pictures—”

“Allison,” Jen hissed.

“—after the damned pictures,” Allison repeated with a pointed look. “I was about ready to drive up to Gryffindor myself and give that lousy son of a bitch a piece of my mind—”

“Allison!”

“—but Lyall talked me down and I have been waiting to meet you ever since.” She finished with a soft huff and gave his arm a quick squeeze. “Remus is a lucky boy to have you. It’s very exciting to see you in person at last.”

Sirius’ heart gave a happy little ka-thump and he smiled. “I’m glad to be here. Thank you for having me.”

“He is so polite,” Lisa said to Remus out of the corner of her mouth with a wink and a thumbs-up. “Good choice.”

“You know what I just realized? We haven’t said hello to Jules yet. We’ll see you in a few, yeah?” Without waiting for an official answer, Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius’ waist and practically carried him away from the table. Once they were out of earshot—and the aunts had busied themselves with one of the younger Lupins—Remus relaxed with a slow exhale. “I am…so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I had no idea they were going to corner you like that. I mean, I did, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for another few hours. They tend to move in a pack at reunions, like sharks. Or wolves.”

“They’re really sweet.”

“They are,” Remus said grudgingly, though Sirius could read the affection dripping off him like his favorite book. “My dad’s the youngest of five, and I was the first nephew. You can imagine how that went.”

“Baby of the baby?”

“Exactly.”

“Can I ask one thing?” Remus nodded, visibly confused, and Sirius found he couldn’t keep his grin down any longer. “Duckling?”

“I hoped you didn’t hear that,” he groaned as they headed toward the kids’ play area beneath a large oak. “Long story short, it involved five-year-old me, a pond, and a sinus infection that made me sound like a duck when I sneezed.”

“Oh my god,” Sirius laughed, earning himself a light elbow to the ribs. “And the name stuck?”

“Considering she was the one that had to stay with me while my folks were working, she could call me whatever the hell she wanted. Please don’t ask her about it unless you want a thirty-minute TED talk about the ins and outs of my sinuses.”

“She’s a doctor?”

“No, she just overshares.”

“Sirius!”

Sirius looked up and saw a herd of small children racing toward them, led by his favorite person under the age of eighteen; Jules crashed into his legs and squeezed him tight around the waist. “Hey, I missed you!”

Jules propped his chin below Sirius’ sternum and stared up at him with the classic hazel-gold eyes that were far more common than Sirius believed before they arrived in the Lupins’ backyard. “I missed you, too! How’s the team? How’s Harry? Is he still super small or did he do that weird thing that babies do where their legs grow and the rest of them still looks normal? How was your flight? Did you have turbulence?”

Sirius thought for a moment. “Good, also good, growing normally, and yes.”

“Sweet! Come play cornhole with us!” Jules grabbed his hand and dragged him along the grass at the closest thing he could manage to a sprint with Sirius’ added weight—the pre-teen years had lent him gangly legs, though he didn’t seem quite sure how to use them yet. He looked more like a foal than a sixth-grader.

“What the hell is cornhole?” Sirius muttered as the flock of kids ran ahead to grab armfuls of beanbags.

Remus grinned. “Something I’m about to kick your ass at.”

------------------------------------

By the time the sun set, Sirius was exhausted. He had been introduced to dozens of people who looked just enough like Remus to be eerie, as well as plenty who seemed to have been acquired by one Lupin or another over the course of their life. Jules fluctuated between laminating himself to Sirius’ side and disappearing for an hour at a time, only to return more grass-stained and rumpled than ever as he begged Remus to swing him around by the ankles again. His ass had been thoroughly kicked at cornhole and freeze tag; it was a true miracle he hadn’t already passed out into a food coma. For all of his earlier griping, Sirius couldn’t think of a time in recent months when he had been more content.

“You’re a brave soul,” Remus remarked as they sat in the grass together and watched the fireflies wake. Though it was a warm night, it seemed the citronella candles littering the tables were doing their job of chasing off mosquitoes.

Sirius leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder. He smelled like grass and summertime and sunbaked warmth. “Am I?”

“Mhmm. I’m sure most people would have run screaming by now.”

“I like your family.”

A beat of silence passed; Remus rested his temple against the top of Sirius’ head. “I’m really glad to hear that. They’re weird and loud, but I love them.”

“And I love you.”

“Are you saying I’m weird and loud?”

“On occasion.”

“Asshole,” Remus laughed, giving him a nudge that hardly qualified as more than a gentle sway.

“Language, there are eight million kids around.”

“They’re busy.”

Sirius watched as small group run by in a wave of giggles, all clutching mason jars of fireflies with their names written on masking tape. “Thank you again for asking me to come with you.”

“Like I said, Aunt Jen would—”

“Remus.” He fell quiet. Sirius didn’t remember the last time he said Remus’ full name aloud. “Your family loves you so much. They’re everything I ever wanted growing up, and it means the world that you wanted to share them with me. All they want is to see you happy. It was amazing to finally meet them.”

“They really, really love you,” Remus said softly, his voice a little thick. “I had about twenty people tell me how wonderful you are. They all thanked me for bringing you, and not a single one mentioned the celebrity thing. Even my Uncle Jay didn’t say a word about hockey.”

“He was the one in the jersey?”

“I’ve known him for my entire life and I’ve never seen him without one.”

“Huh.” Sirius tucked his face closer to Remus’ neck and let the sound of the bullfrogs in a distant marsh lull him. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven. The adults will be up for a while, but the kids will start crashing soon.”

Footsteps on the cool grass rustled to their right and Sirius looked up. “Who wants pie?” Aunt Allison singsonged, breaking their quiet bubble with paper plates and utensils. “This one is blackberry, but we have peach, pumpkin, and a few others on the table if you’re still hungry.”

“Just a small piece, please,” Sirius said.

Allison paused and cocked her head, then burst out laughing. “Oh, you’re funny!”

“I am?”

“Don’t fight it,” Remus whispered.

“You are a growing boy,” Allison said as she cut a thick slice and plonked it onto his plate. “And there’s no such thing as too much pie.”

I’m 26, Sirius wanted to say, though he held it in. “Just a small one for me, as well,” Remus said.

“Ha!” Allison snorted. “You’re already too skinny. Eat your pie or you’ll end up a string bean like your father. The NHL might have given you muscle, but it’s useless if you don’t enjoy some of your favorite aunt’s—”

“—woah, hey now—”

“—pie once in a while.” Allison kissed the tops of their heads once both plates were secure and bowing in the middle. “I’m going to make sure the kids aren’t poking around in the river again. Sleep well, you two.”

Sirius stared down at his plate as she wandered away. “I’m honestly going to die if I eat this.”

“Yeah, please don’t make yourself sick on pie. You really don’t have to eat all of that. The aunts and uncles are convinced that none of us are eating properly once we turn eighteen.”

“Really?”

“I wish I was kidding. You’re going to sleep so well tonight, though.”

As if on cue, Sirius stifled a yawn with the back of his hand and cuddled under Remus’ arm again. A familiar shadow bounded over not two seconds later and he barely held down a groan. “Hey, can I join you?”

Remus shrugged. “ ‘course.”

“Sweet.” Jules settled himself across their laps, staring at the sky with his head pillowed on Sirius’ thigh. “Did you have fun? I’m really glad you could come.”

“I had a great time,” Sirius answered honestly. Now please move on so I can take a nap.

“Mom and dad and me got here yesterday, and Aunt Jen kept checking the door for you guys even though she knew you weren’t coming until today. She was worried you wouldn’t like us, I think.”

“That was never an option, Jules.”

“Yeah, I know.” A devilish grin flickered over his face. “Remus is the weirdest of all of us, and if you want to marry him—”

“Get off,” Remus grumbled, shoving Jules’ legs onto the picnic blanket. “You know, you were a lot nicer before you turned eleven. Can I return you and get a new one? I have the receipt somewhere.”

“Nope.”

“That’s all a birth certificate is, right?” Sirius raised his eyebrows. “If you bring it back in good condition, I hear they give you a ten percent discount.”

Jules scowled. “That’s so not true.”

“How do you think I got Regulus?”

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Remus asked with a pointed look. “Run along, problem child.”

“Of the two of us, I’m the least problematic.” Despite his words, Jules clambered to his feet and dusted his hands off over Remus’ head. “I’m not the one that got a secret boyfriend and got engaged in a year. I’m so easy. Mom and dad want two of me.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Remus sighed as he stretched out on the blanket. “They had a second kid because they wanted two of me.”

“You’re adopted.”

Remus cracked one eye open in disbelief. “No, I’m not.”

“How do you know?”

“Because—y’know what, go to bed. Or go find the stampede, I think they’re by the river.”

Sirius whistled lowly as Jules scampered off again. “That was impressive. Isn’t your aunt over there?”

“Yep.”

Realization clicked into place. “She’s going to make him go to bed.”

“Yep.”

“You’re brilliant.”

Remus smiled without opening his eyes, and tugged Sirius down by the sleeve to lay next to him. “You’re just figuring that out now?”

The stars were brighter than anywhere Sirius had ever seen; for a moment, he was struck speechless by the endless rivers of sparkling white overhead. He stared until his eyes burned from dryness, then put his head on Remus’ chest and kept on looking. There was no way he could tear his gaze from it. A few shooting stars streaked across the clear sky and he felt his heart skip a beat in pure amazement when he realized there was nothing else he would wish for in that moment. He could listen to Remus’ heartbeat and the sound of his new family talking against a backdrop of the night, relishing in a full belly and cool wind, and simply stay there for as long as he liked.

[moonlightserenadeeznutz]

Remus shows Sirius around Wales (Part 2)

For @daylily-evans

(Part 1)

~ Remus’s house was not dissimilar from all the other houses they had passed, medium sized and grey-stoned. But it still felt... different somehow. Sirius couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it felt like Remus. It felt like the Lupins. It felt like home.

The front garden was blooming with flowers, their scent mingling with the air and making the whole area feel like a dream. “Mam likes to garden,” explained Remus, which- judging by the sheer amount of meticulously cared for flowers- seemed like an understatement.

They crossed over the threshold as Lyall opened the door. Sirius had always imagined the inside of Remus’s house to look like a cross between a library and a normal muggle residence, what with Remus and his father being avid readers, and his mother being a proud preserver of her muggle heritage, and Sirius was happy to see that his imagination hadn’t been far off.

The entrance hall immediately opened up onto the living room, the walls of which were lined with bookshelves. And in the corner of the room, surrounded by a comfortable looking sofa and matching armchair, was a medium sized black box, perched atop a wooden table, which Sirius recognised to be a television. Sirius knew quite a bit about muggle objects and technology by now, keen as he was to learn about it all in order to spite his family. He remembered a half term during second year when Remus had written to him and explained what a television was so that he could excitedly share the news that his parents had finally bought a set. And Sirius was interested to see that this must have been that very set.

Remus had begun to carry his trunk upstairs, and Sirius followed him with his own trunk.

“I’ll cook your favourite tonight, carru,” called Hope, as Remus retreated onto the first floor landing.

“Diolch, mam,” he called back.

“What’s your favourite, carru?” Asked Sirius jokingly, though he was genuinely interested nonetheless.

“Spaghetti with my mam’s tomato sauce,” replied Remus. They’d reached his bedroom door. Of all the things that Sirius was most excited to see on this visit, Remus’s bedroom was definitely top of the list. Everything else: the living room, the house, the garden, the shops, the country; it was Remus intermingled with other people: his parents and his neighbours and Mrs. Hughes with the muffins. But Remus’s bedroom was one hundred percent pure Remus.

“My room,” said Remus, placing his trunk down with a thump. “Don’t get too excited,” he added, as if he’d been reading Sirius’s mind.

“Can’t make any promises, carru.” Remus opened the door and dragged his trunk through the doorway. Sirius followed suit and immediately looked around.

Yes. This room undoubtedly belonged to Remus Lupin. It was the opposite of Sirius and James’s room at the Potter’s house. Theirs was messy, disorganised, clothes everywhere and posters of Quidditch teams and punk bands plastering the walls. Remus had posters, but they had been put up with care rather than been used as an alternative to wallpaper. He had a poster of the Welsh National Quidditch team, and a chart above his desk mapping out the cycles of the moon, and clippings from The Daily Prophet on one of the walls. Above his dresser, upon which sat a record player and a few record sleeves (Sirius took a note to have a look at them later), a collection of Chocolate Frog cards had been stuck up in neat, horizontal lines. Everything in the room was neat.

A mark of a Hogwarts student was their home bedroom containing various things from childhood that were never thrown out or stored away during the short few weeks that one spent at home over those seven long school years. The newspaper clippings were all dated from 1971, with articles that Sirius could imagine an eleven year old Remus would be interested in: Man Claims to Know What Boggarts Really Look Like. Man Falls Five Thousand Feet from Broomstick and Lives. A bookshelf boasted a number of thick books, but on the very bottom self, some children’s books still remained. Tales of Beedle the Bard, a seperate copy of The Fountain of Fair Fortune (Sirius had never been allowed to read that one. His parents considered it to be blood traitorous and disgusting. In fact, Beedle the Bard as a whole had been banned entirely, save for The Warlock’s Hairy Heart, which depicted an incredibly powerful wizard who was desperate to preserve his magical lineage. It didn’t have a happy ending either. So it wasn’t surprising that Sirius’s parents approved of it). There were some Welsh titles that Sirius wasn’t able to read: Y Tri Mochyn Bach, and Charlie a’r Ffatri Siocled, as well as some other muggle stories. Or at least, Sirius assumed they were muggle. He didn’t recognise the titles: The Seven Swans, Jack and the Beanstalk, A Collection of Tales from the Brothers Grimm.

“This is your bed,” said Remus suddenly, shaking Sirius out of his reverie. Sirius turned to look at a mattress next to Remus’s bed. It was all made up with sheets and a duvet and a pillow.

“I would ask if it’s alright for you, but I expect you won’t be spending much time in it.” He raised his eyebrows and Sirius took the cue.

“Now, Moony, what would your mother say?”

“She’d say...  peidwych â chael fy nhudalennau'n fudr.” He shot a swift smile at his friend before lifting his trunk onto his bed and beginning to unpack it.

~ The two didn’t have much time after unpacking to do anything, before Hope called them down for dinner.

Hope was a wonderful cook. Sirius had to stop himself from shovelling the meal down in one, not wanting to appear rude, but he certainly praised Hope generously once they had all finished eating. Hope was smitten.

“Sirius, carru, you’re such a gentleman! You found a good one here, Remus.” Remus smiled, embarrassed, but at the same time, silently agreeing.

~ Unlike Sirius’s parents, Hope and Lyall were respectful of boundaries. Once they’d said goodnight to the boys, Sirius and Remus went the rest of the night undisturbed, and Remus had been right: Sirius spent perhaps half an hour on his mattress before crawling into Remus’s bed. He wrapped his arms around Remus’s torso and rested his head on the boy’s shoulder.

“It’s lovely here,” Sirius murmured, tickling Remus’s cheek with his breath. “Wish we could swap lives.”

“You mean I get to stop being a werewolf and live with Prongs? Hm... I could go for that.”

“I mean I’d get to kiss myself.” Remus laughed, a laugh that was slightly cut off by Sirius raising his head to kiss him, as a demonstration of his previous statement. The room was quiet. Peaceful. Remus stroked Sirius’s hair.

“Tomorrow, I’ll show you around properly.”

~ (Part 3)

Welsh Translation:

Carru (pronounced Ka-ree): Love

Diolch (Di-ol-kh): Thanks/Thank you

Y Tri Mochyn Bach (Ee tree mo-kh-in ba-kh): The Three Little Pigs

Charlie a’r Ffatri Siocled (Charlie ar fa-tri sho-cled): Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Peidiwch â chael fy nhudalennau'n fudr (pay-doo-kh ah kh-eye-l fee nee-dah-len-eye-n fee-dr): Don’t get my sheets dirty.

Sorry if I haven’t got the pronunciation spot on. It’s very hard to describe.