#I guess this is what happens when you don’t get any validation as a child except for being a good student lol

[sativaonsaturn]

moon sign lingo

how do the moons communicate their emotions? (also keep in mind this is affected by sun, mercury and mars as well)

aries moon: as you’d expect, direct and honest; true representation of mars’ energy. you’ll never have to guess how aries is feeling. i always tell ppl to reference the Greek god Ares, god of war. aries in this placement creates an impatient and excited energy, so whatever they’re feeling kinda needs to be acted on immediately. they’re not very big on time and place, but sometimes this can be to their advantage. this energy makes them great leaders and willingness to work things out as they are happening is a huge plus.

taurus moon: not very loud but blunt with their opinions. taurus wants you to know how they feel and that they’re unwavering in whatever that is. of course tend to be quite stubborn and have a fixed view of emotions as a whole. they are very sure about how the feel on any given topic. when it comes to discussing how they’re feeling, taurus has already decided their standpoint and nothing you say will change that. taurus brings a stable energy to moon and therefore they tend not to experience much of a flux in emotions unless afflicted or have a mercury w/ opposing energy (ex: scorpio or sagittarius mercury).

gemini moon: quite a logical placement (mercury), but is more patient with themselves than aquarius. don’t get me wrong, gemini still desperately wants to get through the emotions and onto the fun! if it’s something light, you won’t even have to ask what’s bothering them 😂 however, often when their emotions are too heavy, they might say that they’re numb or avoid answering a “how are you?” & when they do finally talk, the feelings tend come out raw and uncut all at once. regarding others’ feelings, gemini tends to go around the mushy parts and get straight to making you feel better, as they’re great friends.

cancer moon: very connected to their emotions. have a tendency to be moody and express their emotions quite freely. they definitely wear their hearts on their sleeves but also protective of their hearts. it’s really not hard to guess how they’re feeling even if they don’t say it. when cancer is upset, their body language and tone tell everything; even their mannerisms change w/ their feelings. ofc very affectionate and understanding ppl, one of the best moon signs to confide in.

libra moon: often in a very subtle way at first. libras like to keep balance as we know, so if they feel their emotions may rock the boat, they’re not likely to say much at all. they will sometimes overlook their own strong emotions if they deem them “unnecessary” or it’s simply the “wrong time”. may be people pleasers as well. tend to use laughter/ humor to cope and might seem like they’re not taking things seriously. sometimes we don’t hear how libra feels until they boil over, much like libra mars.

virgo moon: critical and intellectual beings. they understand the world and the people around them by putting things in boxes. virgo needs logic in order to make sense of things (mercury) and it only makes sense that they would do this with emotions. so when they express how they're feeling, it's quite direct and matter of fact. like other earth moons, they prefer to intellectualize their feelings before expressing them. hate to say this (cause everyone says it), but it's important that virgo ease up a bit and validate their own quirks/ feelings and in turn, they will also not be too critical of others. they really want to lead others to "the light" in a sense and that's okay! they just need to find the right balance between pure logic and raw emotion.

leo moon: leo’s emotions tend to pour out of them; you will always know how they feel. these moons can be particularly sensitive and protective of their egos. as much as i adore leo suns, leo in this placement have such a hard time developing emotionally. as leo is the 5th house (of pleasure) and therefore tend to be quite child-like in their approach with emotions as a whole. and undeveloped leo moons can make those around them feel like they’re walking on eggshells. i’d say that leo suns want to be loved, leo moons need it. if developed you may find an enthusiastic leader, but checks and balances are essential as they’re inclined to emotional decision making.

scorpio moon: super tactical and observant. these people are a vault that only they have the key to. scorpio is so profound when they sort through the emotions of themselves and others. however, it’s not often that you’ll hear everything that they’re feeling. scorpio waits til what they think is just the right moment and not a second before. the only placement that may change this is the mars; scorpio mars and moon may make someone only reveal their strong emotions during moments of anger. scorpio moons also read the room quite well so if you’re feeling down, they already know.

sagittarius moon: i actually did a separate post for this one because it’s such an interesting placement. sag is a flame that you simply cannot put out 😭 they feel everything in such extremes and they wake up on ready every day. they cry loudly from their hearts, scream from their bellies and laugh like they might never laugh again. there is never a question about how sag feels because they can’t wait to tell you. if they are inconvenienced or offended, you’ll hear about it until it’s fixed. they are of course very empathetic as well, they wanna make everyone feel good. my little brother has this placement and if i look even a little sad he won’t leave me alone until i smile.

capricorn moon: as saturn would have it, they’re like steel when it comes to emotions. saturn often brings hardships to learn lessons before achieving greatness. so many cap moons experience things that make them tougher, often making it hard for them to create space for their emotions. when they do express their feelings, it may come out in a way that seems robotic, if at all. capricorn struggles to be there for themselves, let alone allow others to. capricorn needs to first release the fear they hold surrounding their own emotions before expressing them.

aquarius moon: another very logical approach to emotions, especially their own. prefer not to discuss how they’re feeling (if at all) until they have gotten to the bottom of things. they’re the type to intellectualize their feelings, sometimes to a fault. if you happen to catch one in their process, you may hear a lot of “why do i feel like this?” also, if you ask aquarius how they’re feeling before they’re done processing, they are likely to tell you they’re fine or that they’re not feeling anything at all. very empathetic people though! just not in the same way as water signs; if they feel you deserve what you’re going through they will not feel bad 😂 they might even tell you that you deserve it!

pisces moon: truly representative of neptune's energy. pisces in general prefers to avoid uncomfortable situations and in this case: feelings. we often teeter between ignoring emotions as a whole and being engulfed by them. so when we do express our feelings, it's either very cryptic or a sort of word vomit. undeveloped pisces moons will often either put the emotions of others before their own or behave as if only their emotions matter/ exist. we also tend to be empaths in every sense of the word. personally, when my loved ones hurt I can literally feel it. also tend to have prophetic dreams and even know what someone will say before they say it. but keep in mind, this is only if pisces is evolved! otherwise pisces may be aimless and lost, not trusting in themselves and disconnected from virtually everything.

sativaonsaturn 🍃🪐

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Love Town

A piece from a collection of shorts inspired by Junjo Ito. Enjoy.🖤

It felt like she’d truly grown up when you got the call. Just a month ago you celebrated your sister’s graduation, kissing her goodbye, and looking forward to her move from the town her college bordered. Only to find your sister in such an alarming state, that you felt like you would choke. 

“I’m so glad you made it! I really wouldn’t have known what I’d do if you didn’t!”

There she was your baby sister with a more than prominent baby bump, that shocked you to your core. You hugged her and unpacked before you tried recounting the pictures, the dinners, the phone calls; scouring your mind for clues. Scrolling your phone, feeling more unsettled when you find no indication. Drinks in hand, tight-fitted cocktail dresses, and seafood alike there were no real clues that could have warned you. 

But how was this possible?! 

Your sister for lack of a better word was a nerd! She adored the solitude of her own apartment and the small list of girlfriends she had. She dedicated her weekends to studying rather than socializing; only willing to venture out of her comfort zone when you’d come to visit. You thought she’d told you everything and yet…your niece or nephew was scheduled to arrive within a few weeks. While preparing for the nursery you’d hoped to quell this unsettlement in your heart but still it remained. At that point, you just had to ask.

“Oh yeah,” she looks outside her window a weirdly nonchalant smile on her face,” you wouldn’t know.”

She explained that in Eromas, it was a thing that happened. That the intense love of anyone could make you pregnant with no discrimination on age or sex. It sounded bizarre. But when she took you into town she pointed out the young men and other women who all had rounded tummies and smiling faces. It felt so wrong.

“So you can just get pregnant and have no say?”

She chuckled,” I was a little startled by it too but I think it’s sweet! At the very least you know the love they have is real. Usually whoever made it with you reveals themselves and most if not everyone just marries them.”

“So…there is no known father or…mother?”

She placed a hand on her round belly, lovingly stroking it. Your hand was grabbed, guided to rub at the specific place where the movement of the child inside could be felt. It didn’t help the unease you felt…but you smiled at your sister. 

She needed you, supernatural pregnancies aside, you needed to keep it together. For her.

It was only a week. 

Filled with running errands, doing chores, and shopping in her stead before she was ready to pop. Laying nestled in the hospital bed as the countdown began, it was hard to ignore the excited nurses gossiping about potential ‘lovers’ unabashedly squealing when your sister guessed. You once again pushed down that nervousness sitting alongside her as you held her hand, making idle conversation.

“You wore that top Monday, right?”

You continued to trace the lines along her hand, shooting her a spiteful frown.

“It’s called washing things, it’s what you do when you're on a trip.”

She laughed, “I wasn’t trying to insult you! I’m just saying you seemed to have grown a little.”

She is pregnant. She is pregnant. In any other situation you’d give her the tongue-lashing of the century but to keep the peace you give her a tight-lipped smile.

“Wow real nice. Thanks for the compliment. For your information, you’re the one who’s been demanding dishes that need a recipe. Don’t start with me about–”

“I mean, I think you’ve got a baby bump too.”

A needle of fear shot through you. Your eyes dart to the small distending near your stomach. Bloating, over-eating baked goods, and the lack of a proper gym are all valid explanations. Or so you tell yourself before shaking your head at your sister. 

“Nice try but I’ve been here for too short and have talked to too few people. Frankly, it’d be even more bizarre than a healthy pregnancy for 2 whole months.”

You two laughed then. Soon after welcoming your little niece into the world. It was truly a joy to see your sister happily embrace this odd phenomenon for her precious baby. The next two days were hard to get through, sleeping was scarce while you juggled taking care of your sister and her fussy baby. After the second day and a long mid-afternoon nap, you finally had the time to look at yourself in the mirror. Subsequently screaming at the full-body mirror.

“It looks like you’ve got two admirers!” The doctor huffed still keeping his hands on your stomach before returning back to the sonogram machine. Your sister squealed and mimicked a hop as she wiggled the baby in her arms.

“Ohhh twins are great! And twice the love!”

The two of them were giggling and smiling with one another but you couldn’t hear it. You refused to. Like the ringing from a bomb going off you felt like you were going into shock. You were pregnant?! And with twice as many as usual?! You allowed yourself to puke, unable to feel joy at the way it taints the doctor’s joy. You feel her arms around you, in comfort. It’s definitely not because you want anything but this.

“I’ve got to leave.”

You whispered it to your sister, while the doctor was gone. The nurses were smiling through the window, scattering with laughter and cheers as you shooed them away. Your sister finally recognized the severity of your call; laying her baby in her carrier and then grabbing your hands.

“What, why?”

“Maybe if I leave this will stop!”

“But I don’t think it works that way!”

“Unless you’ve tried it, I’d love to give it a try.”

“For your safety and the baby’s safety, it’s best you don’t leave.”

The doctor's words made you both jump. You hadn’t heard the door shut or open. Nor the footsteps from the new pair of shoes void of your breakfast. If the small smile quirking at his lips was any indicator lunch would end up there very soon.

“To monitor your pregnancy we insist you stay in the hospital until delivery. I have a feeling there might be a few more…abnormalities with your pregnancy going forward.”

As if on cue the nurses poured in, holding you firmly as they began to undress you. Happily ignoring your pleas as they draped you in their hospital gown. Your struggles slowed as they shoved a needle into your side, claiming it was to keep you calm for the IV. Looking at the white smooth ceiling with a fading consciousness the tears began to fall. 

Your sister somberly took the chair next to your bedside just as you’d done for her. Holding your limp hand as you dozed off.

“I hope you’re ready, we’ll be expecting visitors.”

Within the next couple of days your stomach…your babies only grew in number. The necessity of your sister and the nurse’s aid only grew, as you grappled with the weight of your rapidly growing children. Throughout their rabid growth, you were visited by many: the store clerk, the baker, the mayor, the neighbor family, the elderly couple, the delinquent high schoolers, and the young teacher. Not including the constant hovering from the doctor and the nurses, all of them switching between staring intensely at your bump and outright letting their hands roam. Your protests meant nothing as you were constantly assured of your desirability. It's easy to become self-conscious about yourself at a time like this so every pregnant person says. As your sister holds your hand, you feel your water break and an indescribable pain overtake your lower half.

It’s then you realize you’ll never truly leave Love Town…not if they have anything to say about it.

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[vendetta-if]

Hey, sorry, that ask about whether Yvette’s interested in reconnecting because MC looks like Viktor sounds kind of creepy now that I think more about it. I meant, does she want to reconnect because she genuinely wants to have a relationship with MC as their own person, or because she views MC as a memento of Viktor (and what her relationship with Viktor could have been)? Or does she think that, by building a relationship with MC, that it’s almost like repairing her relationship with Viktor? I guess what I’m asking is, does she see MC as a person or more like a symbol or a keepsake or something like that?

Haha no worries! 😊 When I first read your first ask, I did kinda get what you were trying to say but it’s nice that you clarified it 😁

As for the potential interpretations you listed above, they are all valid observations! And it’s one aspect of MC’s and Yvette’s relationship that I don’t think I’ve read a lot of people talk/comment about.

I do think that Yvette sees MC as their own person rather than simply being a memento/keepsake of her time with Viktor. But at the same time, it’s undeniable that there’s a part of her that can’t help but think of Viktor and what could’ve been when looking at MC.

As for her intention behind trying to reconnect… I don’t think even Yvette knows the exact answer herself, to be honest—or maybe she’s in denial, who knows 😆 Of course, she likes to think that she wants to actually build a relationship with MC without any ulterior motives on her part.

What she knows is that her life has been feeling pretty empty for quite some years now and the loneliness—and guilt over abandoning MC—are getting to her more and more every day. And now, faced with a very real and possible mortal peril, it’s enough to give her the final push and courage to try be in her child’s life now… Perhaps it’s too late for her to step up as a mother, but she’ll happily settle as a friend.

Maybe it also happens that repairing her relationship with MC is the only chance for her to experience a mere fraction of the happy life Viktor once promised her and probably fill the emptiness in her heart. Is it so wrong? Is she being selfish? She doesn’t like to think too much about it…

[elizabeth-grace101409]

I might get some hate for this but….(Reminder this is just my opinion. If you don’t agree then just ignore this. Please don’t send death threats☺️)

I do not hate Theresa. I genuinely cannot bring myself to hate her. I’m not saying she was 100% in the right. But what I am saying is that I can understand why she did what she did.

When I first watched The Maze Runner, I hated her too. But when I actually put more thought into it, I understood that what she did was pretty valid. Again I’m not saying betraying your friends is a good thing. But if you’re that close to find a cure to this sickness that has killed millions of people (including your own mother) would you just give that all up? To be completely honest I would be pretty conflicted over the whole thing. It kinda just comes down to whatever someone’s moral stance is though I guess.

And I am not saying what happened to Minho and all of those kids were “okay”. But that wasn’t all on Theresa. I think a lot of people forget (or don’t care) that WICKED consists of mainly grown adults (yes I know there were kids working for them too but still) and yet Theresa gets majority of the blame when people in the fandom talk about this.

Another point I wanna make is that Janson (aka “Ratman” in the books) is literally the main antagonist in the series. If you don’t believe me for some reason look it up. Theresa, the sixteen year old girl will and does get 10 times more hate than the literal grown man who is one of the top workers in WICKED. Which is honestly just absolutely insane to me. And yeah I know just because someone is a child doesn’t mean they can’t be “evil”. But she’s not even that anyways. She was just a kid wanted to help people and people who went through the same stuff as her. Again not saying she’s completely innocent, I’m just saying she doesn’t deserve all the hate thrown at her.

I also believe there’s a lot of misogyny within the fandom. And that’s kinda how it is with about any fandom. I know this so please don’t say anything about “Oh but that’s basically any fandom” I know that. But even with that fact, it doesn’t make it okay. But back to my original point. Something that I fully believe is that if the roles were reversed and Thomas and Theresa were switched, people would defend and understand Thomas more than they do Theresa. Which happens an unbelievable amount of times within theses types of fandoms unfortunately. If there’s a complex male character and complex female character, people will tend to understand and or defend the male character and completely crap and hate of the female character. This happens a lot with The Walking Dead fandom but that’s a topic for another day.

I’ve seen this multiple times in fandoms and it honestly quite annoying. It’s like people don’t understand the point of a complex character, is that they’re complex. Obviously that doesn’t make whatever they did completely (or at all depending what it is) right, but it is important to take into notice.

People will also hate on her because she “gets in the way” of a popular mlm ship (aka Newtmas). Which again happens a lot in fandoms. Also if that’s the only and complete reason you hate a character….You might need to get a better argument than that. This is not me hating on the ship, I’m actually quite fond of it. But just hating her that reason and that reason alone is honestly just petty in my opinion.

I also feel like a lot of the people who hate her haven’t read the books. Which is fine if you haven’t but I’d totally recommend reading them. I’m currently on the second book and I can say it’s safe to say that I like them better than the movies. But in the book you get more depth into Theresa’s character more than you do in the movie (along with most of the characters too which kinda makes sense).

I could honestly go on and on about this specific topic alone about the series but I’ve already been typing for a while now so this is all I’m gonna write about this for now. This is also my first time posting on Tumblr so. I do plan on maybe writing and or making content on here about The Maze Runner and probably other stuff too. Most likely just whatever I’m hyper fixated about. Which as of now is a lot of things.

And if you disagree with me that’s fine just remember these are my personal opinions. And feel free to comment your opinion on it. Rather if you disagree or agree or whatever. Just keep it respectful and be respectful to anyone else who comments. Just remember not everyone is going to have the same opinions as you.

[talenlee]

Why Do They Say That They Care About Trans Women in Sport?

One of the weirder things about having some form of expertise, even the minor amount I have, is that when a public conversation about a topic happens, it actually feels easier to check out than get involved. After all, if some random person starts running their mouth about trans athletes, I have to first break down how what they think is happening isn’t, then explain that if it was happening that would be fine, then explain further that the problem they think that represents is itself, under-discussed and if I do all that I will potentially convince one idiot, who will then, the second I walk away, drop the entire conversation like a goldfish in an insurance ad, because a significant body of the people involved in this conversation are not interested in this conversation, they are interested in hating women.

I don’t get involved, then, because what’s it worth?

Still, I do care a lot about games and I do care (shockingly) about sport. I’m going to talk about this without needing you to do secondary reading, or looking up statistics. This is not about ‘proving’ those positions wrong, because they are already wrong; they are just dismissable without effort because they are not being proposed with real evidence. What follows here is an attempt to step through why this whole conversation is stupid and why everyone who wants to take a firm stand on it is at best an idiot and at worst a liar and in all cases, serving bigots.

Note, this is not a question about the validity of trans women (who are women) or trans men (who are men). That’s also a stupid thing to whine about, and I know that because the medical experts who study this stuff and have been doing gender-reaffirming care for about as long as there have been chocolate-chip cookies in the world express their expertise by pointing out that actually, yeah, this is an area where they know what they’re talking about. Instead, this is a talk about how trans women playing sport is unfair.

Sport’s not fair.

Sport has never been fair and the entire point of sport is not to be fair. Sport is a social practice, a game we play, and part of that is the idea that you have your team and I have my time and the teams are meant to see which team can do better today, or in this one match, or over this one tournament. Teams are made up of many pieces and those pieces are affected by many factors and at no point in any of this conversation is it possible to make the game fair, because right now, almost nobody setting up sport on any wide scale is not doing it in a way that’s meant to be fair. You can tell it’s not meant to be fair because your team and my team use different players and if you win a lot I don’t get one of your players on my team to make up the difference. We are both trying to have a better team.

Sometimes the conversation wants to talk about school-level kid’s sports. That’s where you’ll find someone who wants to stand ten toes down on the idea that they need to be confident about the genitals of every child on the field, which is both disgusting and freak behaviour. The argument takes some kind of form that it’s unfair for girls (which doesn’t matter, because sports isn’t fair) and that it’s unsafe for girls (which asks other questions about why is sport unsafe). Notionally, the image they try and invoke is a little girl being tackled by a large man, and they’ll bring up sports where physical force is a big deal. Games like football, or football (American) or football (British), usually ones where tackling, run speed, or physical presence are important. These descriptions then invoke the idea of a very large person (very often specifically a black person) playing with much smaller people and hurting them.

To this, the response is: Oh yeah I guess weight classes in sports are more important than gender segregation, but they don’t like that idea. See, that’s an approach that considers making the sport more fair, which isn’t the point. There is already a long and storied history of big hairy girls who are very scary in team sports and they should be allowed to play, but if they get hit as part of the collateral of excluding trans women from sport (in a hypothetical), then those kids get forgotten.

This isn’t to say gender segregation is an inherently bad thing in sports. It serves one very important role in that it means every player isn’t a dude, because we know what happens when a patriarchal system is left to its own devices: Guys will take up all the spaces available because they are the assumed default. Creating women-only spaces like women-only events is a really important part of fighting against this predisposition, but it’s there to fight the social problem, not to change the nature of the game. Why is shooting gender segregated? Are women guns smaller? Why is curling gender segregated? Do women shout hurry hard wrong? Why is darts segregated? Are all women’s arms less capable of handling the feathering?

(Hahah, tricked you, all three of those sports are played non-segregated until you get to professional leagues, which segregate them, which is, again, stupid.)

None of the sports that we play are fair indicators of actual sporting ability. As far as we know, the actual best players of every single sport you care about have never gotten to play that sport. The greatest chess mind never saw a chess board. There are just too many things in our world, too many wild statistical outliers, too many people separated out from systems that let them freely play, that we can ever be confident that the best basketballer just happened to show up and be born into the country where basketball is heavily financed, supplemented and subsidized, and then racialised and exploited. It’s just coincidence that the most genetically perfect people for the playing of basketball are born into the community where if you get good enough at basketball you have a chance to escape a system of poverty where you can literally die from a single bad week of work.

The nature of the capital systems, the incentives and games and mechanisms that are designed to promote businesses of sports, fundamentally destroy all idea of fairness of play and equity of outcome. There’s rules, there’s definitely some vision of making sure rules are some variety of fair (until they don’t, and then they change the rules). There are people designing and trying the rules who want them to be as fair as possible, but none of them care about fair games.

If the fairness of the game itself mattered, athletes wouldn’t do drugs to improve performance. Why? Because they’d care about whether or not that was fair. Their coaches would be cracking down on it. Their teams would be encouraging the coaches to crack down on it. Their organisations would be ensuring that it doesn’t happen. They don’t, because nobody involved, at any point, is incentivised to care about fairness, they’re incentivised to care about getting caught.

FIFA and the Olympics would be paying all their players a universal basic income and given freedom to trade so they can find optimal play environments for themselves and for their teams. It wouldn’t be that five teams can each donate more in charity each year than the poorest teams in the league’s entire budget. America would not be sending twice as many people to the Olympics as China, let alone that we in Australia send more people than China. There are 1.46 billion people in India, and there are 28 million Australians, but we fielded 460 athletes in Paris to India’s 110. That seems weird, that seems almost like it’s people making budgeting decisions that determines what shows up and what gets played in these sports, not fairness.

Sport is not a scientific study about finding the best player who plays basketball and who therefore is most valid to play it. At the bottom end it’s a thing for fun, in which case who cares, and at the top end it’s a business and what it is trying to do is generate spectacle which can then be monetised.

Roger Caillois in Man, Play & Games argued that games don’t produce creative output, that once you started doing a game for money, you aren’t playing a game as much anymore. This was also important to the work of Bernard Suits, the author of The Grasshopper: Life, Games & Utopia, who eventually wrote the first edition of The Philosophy Of Sport, in which we tried to tackle the idea that just being paid to play a game transformed your relationship to that game. There’s a lengthy conversation under capitalism if it’s even possible to play games any more when you’re being paid to do it and that being paid is related to your ability to live and eat and have food under a system that doesn’t give you those things otherwise. The way that Caillois tackled this problem, given his belief that games were how societies could optimise their destinies, was to say that, look, if we do want a world where the best players rise to the top, we need to make sure every single person has universal basic income and is free to play as much or as little as they want such that the drive to play is the thing that drives play, not financial incentives to do so.

Everything about this conversation under the hood has nothing to do with games, it has nothing to do with sports, it has nothing to do with fairness, it has to do with a culture of people suddenly deciding that they can use something that they don’t really care that much about to do a thing they do care about, which is hating women. And you may think, hey, hey, look, I don’t hate women, I just think that the people who hate women are onto something here, and I think that maybe we need to do measures to control things.

Well, are you measuring the bone weight of every athlete?

Are you separating athletes by height range?

What about measurable coordination?

Are you applying handicaps to team sports based on historical success? What’s the actual optimal outcome for a match? We can control for that, you know. That’s something that we can do.

The genetic outliers that you can get within any particular gender presentation are already pretty wild. When I was 10, I was the same height I am now and I could have bowled over a kid my age who hadn’t had their growth spurt yet, but no one was excluding me from playing sports. I wasn’t any meaningful danger; I was the one being bullied by smaller students than me, even though I was taller. But by the math of things, I ostensibly was the problem.

The whole idea of trans women in sports and make no mistake, they are almost always talking about trans women in sports because they forget that trans men exist, is all coming down not to anything to do with sports, but to fantasize imagined scenarios of supposed harm to supposed people that they supposedly don’t observe, which inevitably comes down to controlling women’s bodies.

If your kid is playing football, there is a chance that a bigger kid will run into them. I’m real sorry if that’s a problem for you, but that’s the rules of football. I thought you cared about football. Either the kid wants to play football or they don’t and if they don’t because they don’t want to get run into by a bigger kid then the problem is that you’re ignoring your kid’s preferences on being run into, or the ref isn’t doing the right thing for handling rough play.

If they actually cared and unfair advantages in sports, they’d be paying more into team sports, structrally. They’d be arguing for handicaps and quotas and weight brackets. They’re not, and they don’t.

It’s a rhetorical trick to fool you into imagining something upsetting, then doing what you can to prevent that upsetting thing from happening. The whole conversation is not about actually things that happen, it’s about how easy it is to make you imagine something unfair in a system that never promises to be fair. It’s not about trying to address things like wage caps or access to sport or time to play sport or medical back up in case someone gets injured playing sport, it isn’t about any of those things, it’s about being able to imagine a little white girl getting crash tackled by a large black boy.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Just thought up the other potential reactions from the g7 counterparts:

Alice would be curious, as always, of yuu because she’s never seen the queen of hearts just being patient-ish with someone. Also yuu is definitely much more normal (somewhat) unlike the rest of wonderland’s residents. She asks a lot of questions like child simba but because she just wants to know how and why this happened? Depending on the yuu, she might look up to them? Although that depends on who someone wants to characterize them.

Like you said, Ursula would try to keep yuu away from ariel but I think the same goes for king triton. So either they meet up by accident or one of them sneaks away to meet the other. Once they do finally meet, ariel wants to know all about yuu and but also probably asks them about human stuff (depending on how old she is). Yuu and ariel end up sharing stories for the whole time till they’re found. She might try to introduce them to the rest of the family, but probably doesn’t really go far intimately. They might eventually open up, but it either takes a lot of time and they don’t really have full trust or it just doesn’t happen at all. Is that cousin that you only see every other holiday at grandma’s house but despite that you guys are like best friends.

Like Snow, don’t got a lot of thoughts on aurora. I think she would just kinda neutral meeting yuu, honestly the whole interaction is her being just chill while talking to them. Depending on the relationship between she and maleficent is, Maleficent might introduce yuu to aurora herself or just kinda keeps an eye on them while they interact. The fairies absolutely distrust yuu and don’t want them anywhere near aurora.

Aladdin doesn’t trust yuu at all 100%, same goes with jasmine. He won’t be outright rude, but definitely goes out of his way to avoid them or keep any interactions short. Although does keep an eye on them to see how they interact with jafar. He would probably one of the last people they interact with and is either formally introduced to them through Hercules, Snow, or Aurora. He joins in on any antics that might happen but when alone with yuu, both are just sitting there awkwardly. Kinda like a going out friend and their friend you don’t really know and your friend left so you’re both waiting in silence for them to get back. If yuu and aladdin eventually get along, he’s that friend thats message you or you message to see if they want to go on a 3am mcdonalds run and than hang out in a walmarts parking lot afterwards.

And completely fair on misreading the first ask, I probably would’ve if I didn’t send it. Also sorry if I don’t got the characterizations right, it’s been a long time since I watched any classic Disney movie that wasn’t aristocats or robin hood.

I love Aladdin and Jasmin having beef with like 13 year old and is like "we don't trust you!!" "Damn what did I do???"

I feel like Ariels would be the most interesting. The two sneak out together realize who each other are and have conversations comparing things.

"You're never allowed to go to the surface?"

"It's dangerous, father says."

"Humans aren't so bad... besides doesn't your father also say I'm dangerous cause of my mother?"

"I guess so yeah..."

"Mom says to stay away from your side of the family, cause women there are only ever seen and not heard and he did bad stuff to my mom too. Maybe, you should start questioning him"

Hercules is just "don't you fucking try anything" and Meg is like "OK that's valid but after working with Hades I can tell you the kid is cool" and now Hades is trying to be the cool cousin

Aurora and Yuu should be like siblings change my mind.

Also rip Alice. "How are you the queens child??" "Idk bro I fell from the sky and she was like "oh cool" and now I'm royalty.

[sweetsmalldog]

SVSSS Liveblog Volume 1 Chapter 4

Honestly getting into a novel you hate because the monsters are cool is valid as hell

Him not eating when Binghe is gone is such a bad sign, he’s not gonna eat after he pushes Binghe into the abyss is he?

“I don’t want to throw him into the Abyss but I also don’t want to die” is good motivation

I know Binghe was twirling his hair thinking about the conference like “I’m going to win the whole thing and Shizun will see how strong I am”

Pretty art!!! Also blatantly pinning Binghe!!!

Shen Qingqiu, internally: right for his future harem Binghe: Looking at him like that

In my heart Binghe has a little diary where he writes Shen Qingqiu’s name surrounded by hearts and plans their wedding and combines their last names and stuff

Them flying on their swords is really cool

“Your spoiled what’s next snacks” “That’s a great idea Binghe do you have any snacks”

He is spoiled and pampered tho <3 he’s got that Princess privilege as the rightful sole future love interest, the protagonist’s most favorite and specialist guy

“Don’t thirst after my disciple” He is gay if that helps

“Of course they don’t want me watching how could I forget” meanwhile Binghe is jealous as hell

This Palace Master is going to come back later isn’t he

Not him bemoaning that fact that Luo Binghe is being kind when it prevents him from showing off

Not the foot fetish material!

He doesn’t care about looking at them in the water because he’s only got eyes for you dude!! You’re the love interest now they’re just randos! You got promoted and they got demoted

Why is “now the threesome scene can’t happen in the future” your reaction to children dying?

Only Luo Binghe can’t be killed, I get thinking “They’ll probably be fine” but that’s been stated a couple of times. Luo Binghe is safe the rest of y’all should learn to protect yourselves tho

Maybe now isn’t the time to mention it but I had a platonic crush on the girl from The Ring as a child

Local man understandably not ready to see teens murdered by monsters

“You can’t go there’s a chance your powers will stop working and you’ll be murdered” “well I’ll for sure die if I don’t do anything so I’m going”

Heads growing spider legs is actual nightmare fuel

Binghe just wants to heal him :((

The Abyss is open

Also PRETTY ART!!! And a new hot man!!

… And Shang Qinghua I guess

Listen I’m far more interested in the new beautiful man who just showed up then the traitor peak lord

He’s supposed to be evil Binghe’s right hand… I mean pretty privilege is a thing and if anyone deserves it…

Listen I’m aroace not blind

Shhh let him show up early ya know for the “plot”

His sword broke :( I know he’s supposed to get a new cooler one but the swords here are cool

“Aw shit I wasn’t demon racist and now it’s biting me in the ass”

Also this hurts

:((((( BINGHE!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO

I can’t even fully appreciated the art because I’m pain

How it started:

How it’s Going:

Not everyone thinking he’s dead ;-;

I’m gonna take a minute no one talk to me

Him forgetting Binghe is gone ;—;

And he’s unwilling to admit how much he missed him sir your repression is showing

HIM MOURNING BINGHE’S INNOCENCE AND YOUTH I’M GONNA CRY-

Heart break points ;-;

This motherfucker’s the author, Shen Qingqiu kill

I hope Mr. Masturbation fucking dies I’m so upset

Shen Qingqiu kill this man and my life is yours

[deer0skullz]

it continues to baffle me that self-proclaimed trans allies and activists refuse to understand that issues related to pregnancy, abortion, periods etc. have always affected tranmascs and will continue to affect transmascs. like, that should be incredibly fucking obvious? that should be trans activism 101?

i didn’t think that was ever something that needed to be explained because it seems so obvious to me but i guess i’ll address some arguments i’ve seen

“transmascs stop getting their period when they go on T!!”

even if this is the case for every person on T, which i’m honestly not sure of because T doesn’t work the same for everyone, not every transmasc person wants to/ is able to go on T? and even if they do eventually go on T, they still probably had their period before that, and therefore would have been affected by issues like the price and availability of period products and the dismissal of period pain and discomfort. and yes, some transmasc people just don’t get their period anyway, but i’d say the majority of transmascs were affected by periods at some point in their life

“transmascs don’t want to get pregnant anyway!!”

just blatantly not true. it may not be the majority, but plenty of transmascs do want to get pregnant, and they’re not any less valid or less worthy of acknowledgment. first of all, i’m specifically using the term transmasc because not every transmasc person is a man or fully identifies as such. even if we argue “only women want to get pregnant” (which is obviously not true), some transmascs identify with womanhood. even if we are talking about a fully binary trans man, some do still want to get pregnant. pregnancy is a biological process that allows you to have children. if you’re a supposed ally and you acknowledge that not everyone who has the ability to get pregnant necessarily identifies as a woman, then there’s no reason you should be tying pregnancy to womanhood. yes, for a lot of trans men, the idea of pregnancy causes dysphoria, but that’s not the case for everyone. some may not be interested in adoption/ surrogacy etc and may find it more effective/ convenient to carry their own child. if a trans man wants to have a child and is able and willing to carry it, what’s the issue?

outside of that, there is also the issue of accidental and forced pregnancies. people claim T makes it harder to get pregnant, which may be the case considering you usually dont get your period, but i’ve seen others claim there is nothing definitively stating that T affects fertility, and I know for a fact it is still possible to get pregnant while on T, even if less likely. even when having protected sex, shit happens. and on the more depressing side, transmascs are heavily affected by SA. this should clearly indicate that there is a need for pregnancy care/ abortion services for transmascs, depending on what they personally choose.

we should also obviously acknowledge that anyone with a uterus/ ovaries/ cervix/ vagina etc can be affected by conditions like endometriosis or cervical cancer, which includes many transmascs

this isn’t just a tumblr discourse thing. it has ramifications on people’s real lives. there are many who advocate for transmascs to be excluded from “women’s health spaces” and many transmascs can attest to being denied necessary healthcare because they don’t cater to men or don’t cater to trans people. and many transmascs have to misgender themselves or detransition to access these services.

again, it should be very obvious that anyone who has the anatomy to be affected by things like pregnancy and periods can be affected regardless of gender identity. get that through your heads

[ask-the-critters-survival-au]

Static crawls out from the monitor... and reaches out not just to the three who carry it... but a certain pink child as well.

“I… normally make it a rule to wait to send another message until my last one was received… but I do not have patience to wait that long sadly. It is… Children, while this message is intended for all of you, this is to address Picky’s claim that and I quote here, “They. Were never. My friends. Not DogDay. Not Hoppy. Not Bobby, not Crafty, NONE OF THEM. They made that clear when they all left me behind.”... I apologize for recording your voice without permission, child, it was the only way I could think of to get around the others not being able to hear you. As for your statement itself… Well let’s break it down shall we?”

“Dogday- I have already covered where he is. Being tortured without his lower half being hanged off of a wall while surrounded by little critters that have proven themselves to be quite capable of crawling inside of Dogday and puppering his still breathing body around while nibbling at his insides. I didn’t wish to share that final detail, but you're starting to force my hand. He is currently WORSE OFF then if he would have been running away and abandoning you all. With how you talk about him… shouldn’t you be happy Catnap is doing such a thing to him?”

“Hoppy… well of course not now you're trying to eat her. But never your friend? Never? You could have said no longer my friend but instead something as strong as never? Child… that kind of line comes from someone who values that friendship greatly and from a perceived betrayal hard commits the other way. I do not know why Hoppy chose to leave you other than the very valid- and you must agree this is a valid reason, “Catnap is a Psychopath”. And then there's another question… once you took Hoppy’s foot you didn’t chase her. You let her go instead of even trying to stop her… You only started hunting her when you had the bond forged by my deals… but why didn’t you try beforehand? Your care for her twisted into a reason of “Food for later” or “I’m already eating”... instead of chasing the bigger meal?”

“Bobby… again I don’t wish to speak for her when she’s listening to this but… I can put two and two together Picky. Do you know about Crafty’s hands child? Recently through another random memory share (Yes that is happening and I have no idea why children I am sorry for that), the memory of Crafty bothering Catnap aggressively for more red paint to draw with before Catnap pins her, which was honestly valid, and then rips off her hands, which was just really fucked up. Can you not tell me that Bobby would not take Crafty away from Catnap who disabled her? To keep her safe from that?”

“As much as you claim that the others left you behind, does this not paint a different picture? Does this not say something else child? Then let’s go further with those who do stay by you.”

“Bubba is insane and needs very real help he cannot get because the prototype does not allow you all to leave. Depending on how far he’s degraded… does he really have a rational choice to leave you? If he left it wouldn't be because he truly wanted to but some insane whim.”

“Kickin is… a can of worms we haven’t even begun to get at. We haven’t seen him enough to make any guesses as to why he stays. Could be fear… or his care being stronger than fear. I will point out that I do find it incredibly strange he isn’t dead. You said earlier that the only reason Catnap didn’t fully kill Kickin, only horribly mutilated him for going into the playhouse, was because he was still useful… How? Objectively how does Kickin have value- how does Bubba have value and use? Both of them are from what we have seen potentially more problems than their worth and two more mouths to feed.”

“Why do you keep them alive, and why does Catnap keep them alive? Catnap is… complicated. He joined in on the hour… which was justified if not too overboard with killing the innocents and especially killing the kids, either by actually harming them or dooming them to die of starvation down here. Failed to kill Leith Pierre and probably a few of the people behind the experiments, that sucks. Then helped the prototype keep you all trapped down here! Helped keep you all starving! Helped keep you all in torment even while he for some reason doesn’t have the heart to kill anyone!”

“It’s not black and white Picky. The situation is complicated. The emotions are complicated. And that and the following goes to the other three listening to this as well. It’s okay if your feelings are confused. It’s okay to both love and hate someone at the same time. It’s okay to feel betrayed even after all of that was explained. It’s okay to be paranoid about being hurt again, especially in this situation… but please don’t ignore this. Don’t just hide that with rage and lies.”

“Picky… I hate to say this with the others listening but… if you're really going to commit to this, commit to murdering them… do it for the real emotions you have. Don’t lie and make excuses. Be real with yourself at least okay? Even if you hate feeling that way… even if you’re scared to feel that way… those emotions are valid, and hating feeling those emotions are valid.”

“Make the choice you want to make with no regrets, child. Disregard food, because I can make that no issue. Disregard Catnap, for he deserves nothing from you. Disregard the current hunt and petty reasons that don't truly matter.”

“Do you want this child? To permanently lose those three bonds that maybe someday could be mended anew… by your own hands?”

“Until next time children… please all of you, be safe.”

(Breaking one of my rules for this but that last answer made me have FEELINGS I needed to share. Hope your having a great day Mod! Remember the hydrate!)

SHUT UP! shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!

Um…Are you going through something?

I don’t get it. We never left her behind. We told her she could come but she said no. I mean…that’s what Hoppy told us.

Haha…yeah.

[Mod note: Thank you for reminding me! I tend to forget drinking water is a thing I need to do to survive 😅]

[starsinkpop]

what do you think if theres blogs that are not only deeply obsessing with finding out ateez members exact fs but they also discussing their potential body parts. I tried telling them how weird and gross it was of them but they tell me I was taking it too far. what the fuck? am sorry but this kpop tarot thing is what is taking ppls obsession with idols fs too far. its bordering on creepy rn and its not just one blog theres like several of them that mainly focus on idols fs.

some blogs be claiming they dont dig too much but then they still think it ok to even discuss idols sexuality or some other aspect of their personal life.

i’m not really on that side of tumblr or social media so i can’t really say much about it. i have clear boundaries. im fine with certain readings about ateez’s fs but i wouldn’t do more readings than i have online right now. we already know more than enough. i keep getting a crazy amount of asks in my inbox of people trying to fit especially san’s fs aspects. i’m deleting all of them because none of those people reading my stuff and also myself will be their fs. some people really need to touch some grass. when i see certain physical traits in a reading i point them out, however i focus on personality only. what’s bothering me is how almost everyone on here in my inbox assumes that the members are straight. making their fs a girl at all times. we don’t know their sexuality and it’s quite frankly none of our business. we don’t know if their straight or part of the lgbtq+ community. this is why i keep my readings gender neutral because we don’t know shit.

now in general i don’t want to spread any negativity because life itself is already a big struggle for most of us. i want my blog to be a place where people could just entertain themselves for a bit and. so i won’t say anything about other readers because i honestly just can’t. like i said, im not on that side of tumblr. i get your point but you have to remember you’re telling me this, im a kpop (well just ateez) tarot reader myself and i’ve done reading about their fs too so 🤷‍♀️🤣 like i said, i have my boundaries with readings, won’t do any sexual readings and i don’t focus on looks. being someone who was crazily sexualized since being a child, i really hate this side of any fandom. there’s too many obsessions going on. you wanna know what happened when i saw the most recent pool pics of the members, especially san and woo? as a gym girly i was like “woah i really need to know their routine so i can shape my body like theirs” i can just admire them. viewers here are a little too delulu and have a hard time sticking to reality and form an own opinion it feels like. and I’m sure some readers feed into that. it’s giving you a ton of likes and if that’s their main purpose for posting i guess i get it. that doesn’t mean i’m okay with that but i know many people need validation like that. whenever there’s people coming up and officially date like twice’s jihyo for example i always feel really warm around my heart. gives me the feeling they can still have a bit of a normal life.

i don’t really have anything else to say and only repeat myself. i don’t know if i’m the right person to talk to about that, i do readings and did fs readings like what you just complaint about, but i have boundaries and know what’s reality. none of us will be with any of them, ever and viewers should stop honestly believing “omg XYs fs is like this and that, i’m just like that it has to be me they have to do more detailed readings so i can make it fit for myself”.

on another note, and this is in no means anything bad or hate whatsoever, i love getting asks from you but those long asks are sometimes a bit much because im not your diary, love 🤣 no hate. but it just felt like a rant and i do really like rants but my inbox is maybe not the best place for that because i don’t want to spam any of my followers page with that you know?

edit: you can still send me longer asks, but please try fitting the stuff you want to say into one ask and not three or more 💖

[hush-writes-preg]

i’ve been wanting to say this for a while, and im still not sure i’m gonna say it right, but i really appreciate your blog. i’ve been having issues with my ovaries for a while and it’s still not clear if i’m fertile or even gonna get to Keep my ovaries much longer. it’s been really stressful, because i really want to be able to get pregnant, and i might never be able to. but one of the worst parts is that i’m transmasc, and a lot of people- including my own family- can’t wrap their heads around being a man and wanting to be pregnant. even other transmascs seem to think i can’t actually be trans and genuinely want this. people pity me cus they think Society is what made me feel this way, and they have to “help” by convincing me this is something i don’t actually want.

you and all your followers have been the opposite of that. seeing so many other transmascs who openly (and sometimes desperately) want to experience pregnancy has made me feel like so much less of an other. seeing people who aren’t transmasc but have transmasc friends/partners being so encouraging and supportive when this is something they want has felt so validating. it’s such a positive and welcoming environment here, and it’s so comforting.

so i guess the main takeaway is everyone should keep being horny, because there’s at least one person who really appreciates it.

Hey there, Aster! Thanks for hopping into my inbox with your kind words! 💖

I've said it before, and I'll continue saying it long into the future for old and new followers alike-- this blog exists because I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to feel appreciated, validated, and seen in regard to this kink. I don't care what parts anyone was born with, what parts anyone has now, or what anyone's age(18+)/gender/sexuality is. Anyone can feel the desire to be pregnant or to impregnate someone else, and that feeling should be celebrated.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble with your original plumbing, Aster, and that you aren't sure if you'll be able to conceive. That's a really shitty situation to be in when you actually want to get pregnant. I've known a few people on Tumblr who are in similar health-related situations, and I just wish I could give all of you a big hug (if it's wanted). It's really not fair. The universe is pretty shit for allowing that to happen in the first place. But you're not alone, okay? I don't know how much comfort that offers you, but there are folks out there who commiserate, understand what you're struggling with, and hope that you'll be able to eventually find happiness regardless of what happens.

And yeah... family and society can suck big time sometimes. OFC you can't be male and want to carry a child, right? /s In my opinion, those people are nothing more than gatekeepers who have no business being involved in your body and business. The knowledge that these kinds of opinions are so commonplace really pisses me off. The desire to procreate is a ridiculously ordinary (though not universal) part of being human, so why shouldn't anyone be allowed to use the parts they have to make a baby if they want to? Or be allowed to find other reasonable ways to make it happen? :throws-table.gif:

Ugh. I'll get off of my soapbox now.

All that said, if the space I'm nurturing and the community we're all building is one of support, encouragement, and affirmation, then that's a dream fulfilled for me. We may be stuck feeling like an Other elsewhere thanks to societal stupidity, but not here. Here we're all as incredible and sexy and fertile as we wish to be, and I refuse to hear otherwise.

You're awesome, Aster. Try to stay positive, do what you can to take care of your troublesome bits, and love yourself the way you are. And if you ever need to vent about this stuff, my DMs are open, okay?

I adore all of you horny, breedable fuckers. 💖 Don't any of you forget it.

[ladybirdplace]

Marriage part 1

The 26th of March was my first wedding anniversary. When I married myself last year, I chose to keep it to myself, I suppose out of shyness.

I know my followers will be very accepting of it. Others, maybe not. Self marriage is still a foreign concept almost everywhere. And in the places where it is a thing, it’s not necessarily an autoromantic practice.

But I feel comfortable sharing it now.

It was a post on tumblr mentioning self marriage that pushed me to take the plunge. I had already been wearing a ring on my thumb symbolizing my love before March of last year, and so I didn’t need to purchase an engagement ring.

It wasn’t really a big decision for me. The life I have lived thus far is abundant proof enough of my own dedication, and a ring and the title of spouse would not define it.

I wanted to have my ceremony when no one was around, so in the morning, before the sun rose, I ate an apple, which is a symbol of love and marriage. I put on some white clothes. I snuck out the backdoor to my swingset.

I sat down on my swing. It was a little frosty and cold out. I took my ring off my thumb. Initially I wanted to put it back on right away and be married. I was very excited to be my spouse, but I waited. I contemplated for a few minutes what this marriage would mean to me.

I said what I wanted to say aloud. And I put the ring back on. And I went back inside as a newlywed, and warmed back up.

And it was beautiful. It was everything I had wanted. It was special, and mine, and blessedly alone.

I ate some strawberry shortcake for a wedding cake.

I didn’t tell anyone except for my therapist, and I was very proud to hear her congratulate me.

I think it is important that I explain my views about marriage.

I’m aware that the way I think about marriage is not very conventional. And if the readers of this post think law sanctioned marriage is the only valid kind, I’m not going to try to convince you, because you’re entitled to your opinion.

But I will talk about the way I see it.

Marriage has long been a primary form of slavery and ownership of women. It’s only recently that that sort of marriage is falling out of style in certain places. Marriage being a symbol of love is also fairly recent.

When my parents were divorced, I grew to see marriage very differently. As a child, I had thought my parents being opposites meant that they were meant for each other. And if my parents, who in all respects I had seen as representative of the perfect marriage even though they seemed more like roommates with kids than spouses, could be better off divorced, I rethought what marriage was about.

In looking again at marriage, I thought it to be quite a bit harder than I had before thought. Loving each other and getting along well and raising kids well apparently was not all marriage was. It was something more than that.

I feel that . . . In some respects, marriage as it is, being a life partner with someone is a kind of skill, one that needs to be tuned to your partner's needs and your own, and what you want out of the relationship.

That is, unless you’re married simply out of stubbornness and there’s no real collaboration, you just happen to be married.

And I don’t think I need to say that marriage is not always a fit for people, whether that means marriage does not befit an individual or the two people together. And I say two because I’m talking about conventional two-person marriage, polygamy and self marriage both follow different rules, I feel.

But I suppose there is some flexion of conventional rules in any marriage. I digress.

Uh, I guess what I’m saying now is not really important to the point. What I mean is, marriage isn’t strictly about love but also, perhaps even moreso, about compromise. Or about an obstinate (or in the case of queer people trying to hide their orientation, protective) vow to keep up appearances.

And I will mention that comparing married couples with longtime unmarried couples, often times it isn’t marriage that truly epitomizes their dedication to one another.

The concept of marriage, the way I think most Americans see it, is that marriage is a binding of two people because they love each other so much, they agree to now be bound together in union. That in and of itself is a lovely idea.

But it’s also true that marriage if for the sake of love is unnecessary. Putting aside any legal benefits it may offer, marriage for love is not needed.

And I feel that only when marriage really is not heavily encouraged by amatonormativity, when a legally married couple is the same to the government as an unmarried couple, when it is not for anything but for love, only then does that purposelessness take on a profound meaning.

To be married simply because you want to be symbolically bound to them in a new way, even though you really could go without and be just the same, is very heartwarming to me.

[devotedtosadpoetry]

Geez I think might be my first ask, not gonna become an anon cause I want you to know who asked this question, and also theory cause yis also just so you know how messed up or calculating my head is.

Okay, question first littered with a few tiny questions: Did we know how exactly Bishop knew about the turtles/ Leo? Like the invasion or something like that cause im not entirely sure if we know it (or we do and I'm just stupid and I wasted your time) like Also how did you come up with this idea (im pretty sure you answered this, again im sorry, bad memory) also im so happy your in the comp! I wish you luck, and I hope you win!

Now onto the theory I guess, so I think I know what's going to happen in the following days, like leo is gonna die in like 4-5 days if he don't get that drug, also it would be foolish of bishop to not put a tracker on Leo, so I assume he has a tracker, any even if he doesn't or donnie deactivates it, leo is a feral beast at this point (poor child) with some things being permanent (probably his eyes and his DAMN POOR SPINE) so I think what's going to happen is one of two things, one: leo is gonna freak out (already happening) and trying to run back to his "mother" (I hate saying that) or two: bishop is gonna make a deal, cause the turtles don't know that they have been feeding leo DAMN DEATH DRUG! Like I said before, it's only a matter of time before leo dies, which is HOLY MOLY BAD! I also wonder if one of the other turtles is gonna get captured, you said in another ask that's its gonna be comfort, THEN DEAR GOD THE ANGST, then back to some comfort, in e9rried about the chapters that follow now.

TL;DR leo is gonna try and escape, or bishop is gonna make a deal, or the other turtles are gonna get captured by damn bishop.

Sorry for the long ask, have a cat for powering through it!

hi leon!! thank you for le ask don’t feel bad that’s it’s long, long asks or long comments always make me v happy so thank you for the serotonin and the cat <3

How Bishop met the turtles is a VERY GOOD QUESTION to ask, one you definitely should be asking, especially because it hasn’t been revealed. your answer shall come soon enough.

i came up with the idea one day when i was doing a one week job that required me to be away from home, so it almost felt like a writing get away. i was in a really sadistic mood and couldn’t write any of my current works so i just decided to let it all out, and since i didn’t want to torture any of my characters i picked on leo. the surgery scenes came first, and then suddenly i got ideas for what is happening with the brothers and then it expanded into the big drama we have going on now.

i’m happy i’m in the comp as well. i do not expect to win lol but my goal is to at least make it past the prelims and i’ll be satisfied 👍 and if that doesn’t happen i’ll put all my rage back onto leo again

your theories are valid, they certainly make sense, and as for my response, you get this emoji: 🤐

thanks for the ask leon 😚

[mental-health-advice]

Hi there, honestly not to sure where to start with this - however this consistently returns to make me worry and I’m not sure what to do.

I don’t think I have the ability to grieve properly, or to form proper connections with other people hence leading to a difficulty to grieve. As a child I was always a very overly emotional person, any prospect of death would bring me to tears.

When I was around 14 my Computer Science teacher passed away. He’d been one of my favourite teachers, he made me laugh, he never minded that I did poorly in his classes, he was always there for me when I needed. And, yet, when he passed away I didn’t cry. I was sorta dumbfounded, shocked, my mom told me what had happened and I sat in silence in my room and watched YouTube videos. And then I started to ruminate, why didn’t I feel anything? Why wasn’t I crying? I should be distraught, and yet I wasn’t. I guess after this I started to harbour this sorta guilt, this idea that I’d never grieved this man properly because what if I’d never really cared about him, what if I just lacked something and was emotionally stunted. It’s weird, cause I’ve been brought to tears as I type this, but back then when it actually happened I didn’t feel enough at all.

Since then other people in my life have passed away. My grandma passed away three years ago, when she died I did cry - I had to get taken out of school. I also cried at her funeral, yet after she passed I accepted that she was gone very quickly, and never really mourned her death after that. Then that guilt returns, that worry that I never actually loved her or cared about her. Why don’t I miss her as much as my other family members do? What is wrong with me?

As I’m typing this right now, my grandpa has started to get very very old. Health-wise he’s fine, but I’m sorta overcome with this constant worry that he’s suddenly going to pass away, and that when that happens I’ll be unable or incapable of grieving. And I always feel so guilty about this, the fact that I’m more worried about my own reaction to death than the actual death itself. This is all so confusing but I don’t really know who to turn to or talk to about this. I’m so worried that I didn’t feel enough or love these people enough, that I have this inability to care or lack empathy. Occasionally this guilt builds up, and there are days when it’s the only thing I think about and days like that usually end in tears. But I don’t know how to explain myself, how am I supposed to go to my parents and explain that I have no idea how to grieve? I know grief can form in many different ways, in a way I feel like I’m still grieving for my ICT teacher and my grandma cause I felt like I never grieved them properly the first time. I’m sorry that this ask is just so much, but I really don’t know who to turn too and I just feel like I need to explain how I feel to someone.

Hey there,

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandma and your ICT teacher from school.

Grief, like you mentioned can and does come out in many different ways and forms and just because you cried over one person’s death and not another person’s, it does not mean that you cared about them any less. It’s only normal to go back and forward through the 5 stages of grief, or even to skip them or go through them in any order. These stages are denial, anger, barraging, depression and acceptance.

To me, it sounds as though when your ICT teacher passed, you went through a bit of denial and this then turned into a bit of anger towards yourself and also guilt for feeling as though you should have done or felt a certain way to show that you cared about him and especially as he was one of your favourite teachers. These feelings you felt were and are very real and valid, but it’s also important to try to reinforce and remind yourself that everyone deals and copes with death in different ways and so perhaps how you reacted when your ICT passed away was because you weren’t sure how to feel due to him being a teacher and not a family member. Just a thought. You may have also been feeling a bit confused due to still being so young, plus it can be really hard to mourn the loss of someone when there are only certain ways you feel you can show your love and care towards people when they pass away. I acknowledge that it’s hard, it’s really hard, but due to you feeling as though you haven’t grieved properly (not that there is a right or wrong way) could you maybe do a little something for yourself in his memory?

It must have been so difficult when you then lost your grandma and it making you feel even more confused due to mourning her in a very different way as compared to your ICT teacher and feeling as though you accepted this loss more easily than with your ICT teacher. It’s only normal though to get through different losses of people in different ways. No death of a person is the same, and different memories of our time with them can sometimes trigger certain emotions in us. This may help to explain why you cried when you lost your grandma but not when your ICT teacher died.

Try to be kind to yourself and know that there is nothing at all wrong with you. We all deal with things very differently and in our own way and sometimes this may look very differently each time, for example when we lose someone in our life, whether it be through death or them moving on in their own direction in life.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

[fabien-euskadi]

I was tagged by the wonderful @reshiiii - thank you very much (and let me send you a huge hug from the westernmost part of Europe).

(Sorry for taking so long to reply, but the last weeks were a mix of somehow unexpected travels and some genuinely horrible events)

Were you named after anyone?

Most people don’t know it, and to be brutally honest, I would have been better off without having known it as well. But the truth is that I was named after a historical figure I happen to despise. That’s why you have to be extremely careful when you name a child.

I should feel upset with my parents about it, but, unfortunately, one of them is very ill and the other one is no longer in this existential plane. Being so, does it really matter now?

No, it doesn’t.

So, you can call me Miguel. That’s perfectly fine. Everything else is rubbish.

When was the last time you cried?

Depression has vanished that information from my memory. No, I am not neither lying, nor joking.  It is as if I have dived into a state of emotional numbness that turned pain into my default setting, so I don’t need to cry anymore, for this is my “normal” state. I tried to fight depression, and, for some time, I managed to defeat it… but the monster came back far stronger than ever (albeit in a more undestated and efficient way).

Even so, I fear I shall have several reasons to spill tears in the near future. There is a good chance that my next weeks and months become some of the worst in my entire life. No, I am not exaggerating.

Do you have kids?

Some subjects ought to remain one hundred per cent private. And this shan’t be the last question that will get a very evasive answer.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Let’s face it: irony is far classier than sarcasm. And I am not ironic now. Or sarcastic. Irony is simply more elegant – and, somehow, tasteful.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Everyone wants to impress - stop lying, I know you desperately want to. And I like to be impressed. I like to find small details or noticeable characteristics that tear someone apart from the normality. So, the first thing I notice is if that person has something remarkable, out of the ordinary – basically, something that tells me that person is actually living, and not just existing.

Sadly, most people like to besmear themselves in normality, vulgarity, mediocrity. Most people are impressively unimpressive. How dare (many of) you to be so smug and boring at the same time?

Yet, some manage to impress me. At first glance, they look remarkable. But those are precisely the ones who, later, will disappoint me bitterly. Some shall do it deliberately, some will do it unintentionally, but the fate seems inevitable: the masks will fall off.

You are mere puppets in the hands of your own egos. Yet (and amazingly), I still dare to have a glimpse of faith in Humanity. I know - I shouldn’t, I really should not retain any faith in humans. Yet, I do.

Maybe, there are still a few remarkable ones out there. Maybe, some of them have survived in this era of self-centred creatures thirsty for validation and food for their fragile egos.

What's your eye colour?

Brown, that incredibly average colour. I guess my eye colour does not reflect anything about myself, but, sadly, that’s what I got.

Any special talents?

When depression hits hard, the only talent I have is the ability to put all my talents and abilities in question.

When my mental health is going through a better phase, I may have some talent for writing (actually, for some time, I even paid my bills with it, and, to be honest, I am pretty sure I can do it again). And, perhaps, my photos are not half bad. And, sometimes, I can even cook quite well, albeit I only do it for friends and relatives. And some people even said that I may have some talent for drawing, although I still have my reservations regarding it.

But that’s when I am feeling better. When I am feeling worse (and I have been feeling terrible lately), all I can do is to be devastatingly harsh with myself.

Scary movies or happy endings?

A deep end can be either scary or happy - or none. But what it matters the most is the depth.

Where were you born?

According to some sources (including some official ones), my arrival in this world took place in a private hospital of a capital city. However, all I know is second-hand since I don't remember a single thing about my birth.

Therefore, if I cannot remember anything about that event, the city where it took place is completely devoid of meaning. Officially, governments try to link our birthplace to our identity, but that is but a fallacy.

All that matters is that I was born. Everything else is pointless.

What are your hobbies?

Sadly, adverse circumstances dictate that I can no longer have hobbies... bar one. Sometimes, I drive to some interesting place and take photos like there is no tomorrow. And that's it.

Clearly, these circumstances don't seem to like me.

Have any pets?

Currently, I am left with just one dog (Duke) and two black cats (Lenina and Jiji - they are not related).

What sports do you play/have you played?

As a child, I had tennis lessons for two years, and, later, I also tried bodyboard and surf.  But I was never really into competitive sports, to be honest. And my lonely world soul doesn’t cope well with team spirit that most sports require.

How tall are you?

One metre. Oh, you wanted to know the centimetres as well, right?

Favourite subject at school?

When people mention favourite subjects, usually, they mean "favourite subjects in High School". Then, the answer would be History and Philosophy - I am not going to choose between them, so I choose both.

However, if you ask me which has been, so far, my favourite subject/class/seminar in my PhD, my answer has to be none - basically, because I didn't enjoy any of them. Actually, the Thesis Seminar leaves me quite uncomfortable, to be honest.

Dream job?

A blo… ok, I am going to reply this one seriously.

If it is an actual job – in the sense of a professional activity -, then, it can never be a dream. By definition, job is a synonym for “nightmare”, not dream. You have a job because society demands you to, not because you really wanted to wake up at 7am to do things that you will be paid for. You have a job because you have bills to pay.

Sometimes, you can have a lucrative hobby. And you can pretend it is a job. But no. You paying your bills doing something you like. But that’s not a job.

Now, I shall tag you, @heavenseraph

[dancergurl3000]

I don’t think I’ve ever really told my own story on this blog before but since I’m a writer I’ll start by just saying that you do not ultimately get to choose what kind of family you are born into. I am an adult child of alcoholic parents. My parents are both alcoholics. One is sober, the other is not. My entire life has been about taking care of other people. My entire life has been a total and complete struggle to maintain friendships, relationships, and jobs. I’ve been in therapy since I was 10. I am a survivor of child abuse and sexual assault. And I do not think I have ever been told the following by anyone: 1. That I am loved, 2. That I can be anything that I want to be when I grow up, and 3. That I was safe to tell my own story. I never learned how to trust people at a young age. I have a college degree, so I am educated, but I basically put myself through college. And my father worked throughout my childhood and was just very angry at his kids when he came home. My brother and I were forced to go to a high school we did not want to go to, the high school where he taught at. No one even learned my name when I was a teenager. I was just Mr Dunne’s daughter. And I was bullied, picked on, teased, beaten up, relentlessly in school. Mainly I think it was mostly because I was mostly good at school. I graduated high school in the top 30 percent of my grade. I graduated with high honors. Guess I thought that if I graduated like that, my mom would quit drinking. By that time, my dad was physically shutting me up in psych wards about my mother’s alcoholism. And he kept doing it. Until summer 2012 when she finally admitted that she had a drinking problem. I spent my 21rst birthday at the rehab facility that she was staying at, telling her at a family counseling session: “mom I can’t have a relationship with you if you’re drinking.” I never understood why I had the family I had. Other families where I grew up had different dynamics. Mine was: my parents worked two or three jobs and drank on the weekends and virtually every holiday and my brother and I were miserable. That’s just the way it was. I escaped through watching Television, my favorite TV show depicting women in heroic positions like “Buffy the vampire slayer.” I escaped with music. I loved listening to Vanessa Carlton on my Walkman before high school classes began at 7:26 in the morning. Her 2007 album “Heroes and Thieves” was on repeat and it’s on my top ten favorites of all time. I write this blog not to garner sympathy but understand that a child has no power over someone else’s drinking. I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD by three different psychotherapists in the capitol region, and my father still doesn’t believe them. Or me. I have explained how I have panic attacks if I’m alone in public downtown. He doesn’t think that happens, or that I am “faking.” My hope is that my writing one day can bring people hope that you are not alone. I know how it feels specifically to be brandished as just a liar, a piece of shit, nothing more as my dad always says. I hope someday there is a community of people who can find solace and comfort in knowing that you’re not crazy, the people in your life just don’t want to see the truth in any situation. I’ll always pray for my dad. And I pray that there is hope for children who just want to be heard and that their pain is totally and completely valid. I never wanted to write my own story. I just know what alcohol and drugs do to a family. It destroys a family from the inside out. Because if you can’t see that alcohol is destructive, then I guess nothing matters in the end. Please be patient with us kids. We are trying. We are trying to heal and recover from an insidious disease. From a disease that no one really wants to deal with. Maybe one day my dad can tell me how he’s sorry. Maybe one day I hope to be able to forgive him. Because it wasn’t my fault. I hope someday he sees more than he originally did.