#I guess it's less about likes/reblogs and more of that I know if I scratch under the surface it's exactly what I was afraid of

[greenorangevioletgrass]

the albatross, here to destroy you (a.d.)

Pairing: art donaldson x popstar!reader

Summary: three years, three encounters. First, a chance meeting between two rising stars seeking an escape leaves a handprint on their hearts.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: smoking, language, greek mythology references, hella unresolved sexual tension(!!!), art is highkey a baby and lowkey a brat lol, did i mention unresolved sexual tension?, sooo much pining

Notes: this idea has consumed my waking days for weeks. I contemplated making it a really long fic, but after a long and careful consideration, I have decided to make it a trilogy! Two reasons; a) it’s gonna be really long, and b) I wanted to put Art’s look as a reference in each part lmao. Big up to @ysuftmikey and @tommysparker for being awesome and hearing out my incoherent rambles about this story. But anyway, please comment, reblog, talk to me and tell me what you think about it! Happy reading!

**i do not have a taglist. Follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass andd turn on the notifications to be alerted for new fics and updates!**

Part One: London, July 2011.

It was quite an impressive feat. 23-year-old American rising star Art Donaldson had miraculously beat the defending champion-slash-legend Rafael Nadal at the Wimbledon final.

Or so they said.

You don’t know, nor do you care much, to be quite honest. You were basically ordered to attend by your publicist, outfits picked out, hair and makeup team on full throttle only to have you sit pretty on the side of the Centre Court. And now, after milling around and halfheartedly mingling at the afterparty, you decide to give yourself some respite and slip away to the balcony.

“Oh, shit—” the man quickly turns back and stubs his cigarette on the railing, waving away any trace of smoke.

(You say man in a very broad term. He looks more like a teenage boy with that messy blond mop and skittish way about him.)

You raise your hands, showing no threat. “Sorry. Didn’t realize this balcony was taken.”

“Wait, no. Please.” He stops. He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck. The only thing more embarrassing than getting caught smoking was getting caught smoking by a pretty girl. And pretty is… a fucking gross understatement, based on what he was seeing. “Don’t leave on my account.”

“You sure?”

You flash him that soft, understanding smile and he very nearly asks you not to leave, like ever. But fortunately, he’s got enough game to hold his tongue and smile back at you, “There’s more than enough room for both of us here, right?”

Technically, the balcony is big enough for the two of you to stand on opposite corners without even addressing each other. But his fingers are resting on a pack of Marlboro Green, and you bite the inside of your cheek thoughtfully. “And more than enough cigarettes, I hope?”

He’s not sure what he was hoping for, but he sure is surprised to hear you accept his invitation to stay. Gosh, he must’ve looked like an idiot right now. “Sure, of course.”

He slides a cigarette out of the pack as he offers it to you, readily leaning in with his zippo. For a split second, the two of you share a breath in the space that he encloses with one hand as he lights your cigarette. You would be lying if it didn’t make your heart stutter.

“So…” you inhale, taking the nicotine hit to calm your thoughts, “I thought smoking was bad for athletes.”

“I thought smoking was bad for singers too, but I guess it’s less frowned upon, huh?” He murmurs, trying to balance a fresh cigarette off of the side of his lips, smirking at you over the flicker of flame he started.

“Touché.” You lean your back against the railing. It’s an interesting game of chess you’re playing. Each of your reputations precede you and don’t at the same time. “But that still doesn’t explain why you’re out here smoking on your own, instead of in there…” Celebrating is left unsaid, although the implied word hangs in big and bold letters.

“Ah well, maybe this is my way of celebrating. We’re allowed one vice every now and again, right?”

You look at him like it’s a bullshit excuse—and it is.

“This is gonna sound insane, but…” he takes a drag, looking out at the landscape before him, “I don’t feel like I should be celebrating.”

You look at him like that bullshit excuse grew a new head.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I worked hard for it and I’m glad it paid off, but…” he flicks the ash on the end of his cigarette three times. “I could’ve been better. Quicker. Won more points earlier. Beat him faster. And until I can do that, I don’t think I deserve a celebration just yet.”

You hum softly. “Sounds like you’re making a Sisyphus out of yourself. That can’t be fun.”

His mouth tugs into a crooked smile, not expecting to be called out like this. “I mean, at least I’m not rolling a boulder up a hill. I’d take tennis over that any day.”

“Yeah, but it seems like tennis is your boulder up a hill.”

“Touché.” He smiles bashfully as he takes a long drag. And then, he offers his hand. “I’m Art Donaldson, by the way.”

It’s a formality at this point. He knows who you are, heard your songs on the radio and saw your face on billboards more times than he can count. Hell, he saw you on the stands in your little Dior sunglasses earlier—and you saw him looking, just for a moment, sweat dripping down his perfect nose and all. But out of courtesy, you tell him your name and accept his handshake.

You pull your hand away, and he almost groans in protest. But again, he holds his horses. “Alright, I’ll bite. If I’m Sisyphus, what does that make you?”

“Oh, definitely Dionysus. Living on wine and theater and good vibes.” You’ve got that shit locked and loaded. It’s obvious that you’ve thought of this before.

“Is that so?” He chuckles. “Well… as long as you don’t sacrifice me to the maenads, right?”

“Can’t promise you that,” you quip back, tapping the gray off of your remaining cigarette. Pleasantly surprised that he doesn’t make the obnoxious remark that Dionysus is also the god of sex, as boys would do. Even more so that he knows enough to know the difference between the sirens and the maenads.

There’s no fighting the raging flush in his cheeks anymore, but he just hopes you would spare him. “Will you at least promise to make it swift?”

It comes out faster than a trainwreck, but without even blinking, the one thing that comes out of your mouth is, “What if I wanna take my time with you?”

Fuck.

The party carries on inside, although Stevie Wonder’s ‘My Cherie Amour’ sounds a mile away. His cigarette smoke comes out in a stuttered huff, as he looks away, not knowing what to do with himself. Eventually, though, he recovers, taking another drag. “It wouldn’t be a terrible way to go, huh?”

“I suppose not.” You sigh into a smile, exuding a flume of smoke through your nose. Shit, he doesn’t know which one is hotter; that, or the lipstick mark on your filter. Or the pensive look as you watch the party through the window.

Oh, he’s down bad.

“So, Dionysus…” he leans out against the railing, flicking ash off his stub one, two, three. “What brings you out here? You a tennis fan?”

“Me? Oh, no. No, I… don’t even really understand how it worked until today,” you admit bashfully. Somehow the truth doesn’t feel so embarrassing, even though you spent the day lying through your teeth. “Not until I saw you play. Which… congrats, by the way.”

“Wow. Thanks.” He’s not sure whether it’s the earnestness in your congratulations, or the fact that the game finally makes sense because of him, but his heart grows three sizes.

“But, yeah, no, my publicist dragged me here kicking and screaming.”

“So you were forced into a party, huh? That’s not very Dionysian of you…” He muses playfully, and those lines on each side of his lips aching to break out into a full smile. And they do. And it warms your heart that those smile lines only emphasizes the way his face lights up. “Nah, I get what you mean. My agent had to drag me out of the locker room to make an ‘appearance.’”

“Yeah, she said something about… shifting into a classier, more grownup image?”

“By watching a couple of dudes hit a ball with a racket?”

“By sitting there and looking pretty. It’s the only reason I’m all decked out in this ridiculous fucking thing,” you look down at your outfit with a grumble. Of all the days you could’ve run into someone cute, you’re in a fucking pantsuit like some middle-aged politician.

“But you do look pretty,” he replies without even blinking.

“Thanks, it’s Ralph Lauren.” You smile faux sweetly. “I believe I’m contractually obligated to say that.”

“Still pretty,” and he means it, lackadaisical smile and all. The ivory cape-like blazer is an interesting cut that goes down to your knees, and it makes you look regal. The cut of the pants makes your legs go for miles. It certainly doesn’t hurt that your off-white shirt is unbuttoned halfway, showing a generous amount of cleavage.

(And hey, he’s still a guy. Can you blame him?)

He has this way of looking at you. Like he’s studying you. It would’ve been unsettling, if he weren’t so fucking beautiful to look at and you don’t mind an excuse to stare back and admire the angular lines on his face. Like Apollo in the moonlight. “What?”

Art taps his cigarette much more deliberately and inhales, exhales out of the side of his mouth, much more deliberately this time. “I think you’re more Aphrodite than Dionysus.”

You take another drag. “How so?”

“First of all, for a god of parties, you don’t like to party all that much,” he grins knowingly, smugly, like he’s proud to have figured you out. But his smile softens, and there’s intensity behind his eyes. “And because you’re beautiful. And dangerous.”

Your mouth twists, pausing for a long moment. To calm yourself. To gather yourself. “But it’s so cliched, though…”

“Well, who would you rather be? Medusa, maybe?” He turns his body, leaning on his side against the railing so he’s fully facing you, and you can’t help but mirror his position.

You raise a forefinger pointedly, French manicured nails on display. “Hey. I think Medusa gets a bad rep. Neptune fucked her over, but she was the one cursed.”

“And what, you think you’re as cursed as Medusa, too?”

You shrug, maybe.

Despite the weight of your answer, he can’t help the chuckle that escapes him. “There’s no way you’re cursed. A curse wouldn’t be so beautiful.”

“But a curse could be deceiving, no?”

“Or maybe it’s a matter of perspective. Maybe you think you’re cursed, even when you might not necessarily be.”

“Oh, just like you’re so inclined to keep pushing your boulder up a hill?”

Art blinks, and sucks his teeth bashfully. Just when he thought he’s got you figured out… Check and mate. “You know, if I didn’t know you any better, I would’ve thought you were some kind of an oracle. Like Cassandra.”

Your eyebrows raise in interest.

“You have this strange, unnerving ability to see right through me. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had a few drinks, or you’re just very observant, but…” he trails off thoughtfully and then nods like he’s made up his mind. “Cassandra.”

“Cassandra,” you echo quietly. “I like that.”

“Mm-hm. I’d say it’s a very fitting title for you.”

That fond little glint in his eyes is becoming a staple in the way he looks at you. And you don’t ever wanna see it dim. So you speak up again, leaning in conspiratorially. “You wanna hear something funny?”

“What?”

“My parents almost named me Cassandra.”

His jaw drops, dumbstruck. “Shut the fuck up.” His grandmother would have smacked him on the back of his head, knowing the profanity he uses (to a girl he likes, no less). But out of all the things he tried to figure out about her, he never expected to get this one right.

“I shit you not.” You watch him double down laughing, grinning to yourself. “Freaky coincidence, right?”

“Or the Fates working overtime. I’m sure they’d be laughing at us right now.” He looks up at the deep blue sky with a shake of the head.

You wave at the stars, taking a mock bow to your invisible audience. “Thank you. Glad you’re enjoying the show, guys.” The laughter lingers on your lips, and you wonder if it tastes the same on his. “We really are just the court jesters, huh?”

He nods. “Although I wouldn’t mind playing the fool for you.” Maybe it’s the drinks or the cigarettes or the unlikeliest conversation with the most stunning creature he has ever laid eyes on, but at one point, his inhibitions are starting to leave him.

It’s now or never.

The dubious smile that comes out of you is involuntary. He can’t be serious, right? “You are so full of shit, aren’t you?”

“You don’t believe me?”

You look at him like, obviously.

“What are you gonna do, punish me for lying?” There’s that glint again, the bite against the inside of your cheek, and Art steps in.

Your heart catches. He doesn’t feel much like a boy now, inches away from you with a disarming look, his intentions crystal clear. And your head drops for a moment with a wry smile. “You can’t say that to me...”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Because? His grin widens, because for the first time this whole evening, he’s got the upper hand. And he likes it.

“I…” You blink at him, finding yourself cornered. Thankfully, though, your phone comes to the rescue, buzzing in your pocket and popping the tension between you and Art like a balloon. “I’m sorry, do you mind if I—”

“Yeah, sure.” he backs away a step, flashing an understanding smile. He watches you pick up the phone, looking out at the London sky. He would swear up and down that he didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He just loves to watch you gnaw at your lower lip in thought, study your moonbathed profile.

Listen to the sweet, sweet sound of your voice.

“Hi… no, I’m still at the— yeah. I’m not sure… are you still with…? Oh, good. Good, just checking. Say hi to everyone for me... Yeah, I’ll call you when I get back?” You catch Art’s gaze, and your stomach drops as you hear the dreaded words on the line. But again, you’re backed away into a corner. So you look away and say it back, “I love you, too. Bye.”

There it is.

Art really should’ve known this. He should’ve seen it coming. You were way too good to be true, but that doesn’t stop him from getting disappointed. No, his heart breaks on the spot, and he’s pretty sure you can hear it.

(You can’t. But you can see it in his face.)

The silence is awkward. It’s ugly. The steady sounds of cars passing by on the ground feels like it’s right in front of you. For the longest time, the two of you can only look out onto the horizon. Anxiously tracing the outlines of skyscrapers in sight.

He is reeling, like he’s been shaken awake from a dream. “So, I take it you’re taken, huh?”

The look you give him is apologetic, and it kills you as much as it destroys him. “Yeah.”

Art rubs at his jaw like he’s willing himself to say something, anything. “I see you’ve cursed me, then.”

“What?”

It takes him a moment to gather his words. Put together his thoughts in a way that you would understand. He didn’t mean it to sound so damning, but it’s the first thing that comes out. It feels like taking a boulder out of his throat. “By making me like you.”

Oh.

Your face falls. Of course. How cruel of you to play his game, knowing you’re setting him up to lose. “I’m sorry. I never meant to…”

“No, no. I’m not blaming you, I swear,” he quickly interjects. “It’s… not your fault one of us is a fool.” He smiles ruefully at nothing.

“It’s a shame,” you quietly admit.

And even then he can’t be mad at you. Not from the way he looks at you oh so tenderly. “It’s a real shame, love.”

There are no words, no more witty remarks. They’ve all been exhausted out of you. There’s nothing left to exchange but that soft look of resignation. Of defeat.

Of wishful thinking.

The cigarettes have long died out and forgotten, only the filters left between your fingers. Your ashes fall in a big chunk on the railing, while Art’s… have free-dived and dispersed in the muggy night air.

“I should go.” Your voice comes out in a whisper. “Let you go back to your party.”

Art can only nod. He keeps his mouth shut, not trusting himself enough to not beg you to stay.

You reach out, almost pulling back, but you can’t help it. Even if it’s just a nothing hand on his shoulder. “I’ll see you around, Art.”

He covers your hand in his, just for a second. His thumb caressing the back of your hand. His heart is in pieces, but at least he will have this. If nothing else, he will still know how your hand feels in his.

And just as quickly as it happens, it ends. Art doesn’t dare watch you leave. He misses your touch instantly, and the sound of your footsteps, and the door opening and closing follows. As Al Green’s ‘What Am I Gonna Do With Myself’ plays on in the party, Art looks out towards the London sky and lights another cigarette.

[yrqrnc]

𖤐 ִֶָ 𓂃 STRAY KIDS : SMILING WEIRD AT THEM UNTIL THEY NOTICE

genre: fluff, crack, pranks

pairing: skz x reader

bringing the tiktok pranks back bcs i need funny headcanon ideas to write 😁🙏🏻

some member's parts might be a bit shorter than the rest bcs i wrote some while being sugar high at 2:50 in the morning so pls excuse that

leave comments, reblog, and feedbacks pls <3

𖤐 CHAN : —

is 70% concerned 30% holding his laugh

you approached him and started a normal conversation on a very normal thursday afternoon so he thought everything was nice and ok in the house and with you???

he guesses not, a minute or two into the talk 😟

bcs why are you smiling at him in a way that would summon his sleep paralysis demon at night???

he already sleeps so less now he fears he will have to sleep even less.

is too worried to say anything about it because what if this is actually your true smile and you’re just getting comfortable around him and he hurts your feelings by making a comment about it?

right????

but he’s also starting to get scared because wHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BABY YOU’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE 😭😭😭 WHAT WENT WRONG ⁉️

PLS BRING THEM BACK 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

doesn’t say anything but gets so tensed during the convo and gives you this look that has you breaking character shortly after, bcs you burst out laughing and going back to that cute big smile he was used to and the one he adored.

(sorry, writer-break-in: now if anyone comments abt how they ugly laugh, i’m gonna smash my guitar on your head. chris says that’s cute, so it’s cute. you don’t get a say.)

then he’s like “oh ☺️ that’s it. here they are <3”

thinks about it when he lays in his bed at night tho

might make him rethink everything and consider your health (mental & physical) for a couple days 😕👎🏻

𖤐 MINHO : —

right, ok. so, he notices it so quick

this man is VERYYY very very observant and he knows you like the back of his hand

so the moment you flash your worst smile as he’s in the midst of talking, taking just the chance when he looked to the side for a sec—

he catches it from his peripheral vision, snaps his head at you and he goes 🤨⁉️ (15% concerned 85% judging)

stares at you silently for a while after that, trying to figure you out

🧍🏻😾❓️ (yes.)

when you act completely normal and ask him why he stopped, telling him to continue and all that, he cautiously goes back to saying what he had been talking about

but then you pull your shit again and he catches it this time too right away

(bcs he’s always looking at you when he’s talking. he looks at you when you’re talking too. he looks at you. he just loves looking at you, that’s honestly it. bro is just an eye-contact and make their knees weak type of person)

and he knows he isn’t high

looks straight at you and goes — “what’s wrong with this one... 😐”

and you’re all like “what??? 😠🦿🦿 what’s wrong w me???” bcs how dare he say that in that tone

“why are u making yourself look like that plushie whose face doongie scratched up last week”

LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 SAVE YOURSELF

so you’re throwing hands now (& terribly failing) and this is the only part of your stupid prank that minho is finding fun

𖤐 CHANGBIN : —

HELP.

doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry someone pls take him away from you 🙁🙏🏻

he’s just casually telling you about this sick rap that he came up with yesterday night in the studio

and you’re nodding and laughing, and he turns to focus on you more and finds you like: 😁 i mean 👹???

and the lOOK THAT PASSES THROUGH HIS EYES AND THE WAY HIS SMILE DROPS SO SLOWLY

WITH AN EYE TWITCH TOO

LORD HELP ME

no HELP SEO CHANGBIN ACTUALLY

bro freezes but then he tries to play it chill, chuckling and being like “right... 😄☝🏻 hahah hahahahah so i was saying... ”

but you keep doing it and he can’t ignore it anymore 😔

“...baby what’s wrong? do you feel sick?” and that too in such a scared voice yOU CAN'T KEEP UP THE ACT ANYMORE

once you tell him it’s a prank, relief washes over him like cold water on a scorching hot summer day and he laughs along with you

might haunt him when he’s alone in his studio at midnight tho

𖤐 HYUNJIN : —

judges you.

no i’m not even gonna try to be funny first

HE JUDGES 👨‍⚖️

you do it and he instantly goes “😦😣 what the fuck”

and you’re like “what? what happened?”

and he doesn’t even know what to say

then he switches up just as quickly and starts yapping again

but you do it again too

and he’s so fed up he goes “dude tf wrong w u 🙄”

and when you keep doing it, he starts iMITATING YOU TO MOCK YOU😭😭

now you’re both just flaring your teeth and gums at each other while cackling in between too, and anyone watching would’ve started praying honestly

later that day, after finding out it was a prank he’s just thinking... why is my partner like this... 😟

he loves u tho <3

𖤐 JISUNG : —

honestly bro...

he finds you adorable :(

like, you guys are casually talking one evening

and he’s telling you about this new anime he watched recently, that almost made him cry

and he’s telling you the amazing sad plot and all, and out of nowhere you just 😁

first he’s really caught off guard bcs... girl (gn!) what 😟 i said??? i almost???? CRIED??? HEARTBREAK?????

but then he just looks at you as you keep up w the goofiness when he speaks again, and he thinks to himself

:(“i love this idiot so much even tho i do feel half irritated and offended right now”

bcs even if you’re pulling your ugliest smile rn, he loves that sparkle in your eyes as you stifle a laugh back and the way almost break character everytime you make eye contact with him

sorry guys this is getting soft but

jisung just loves you very much ☹️☹️☹️

prank is all forgotten, you are just two young people in love <3

𖤐 FELIX : —

i would say he already knows what the trend is, but that’s really boring so let’s pretend that he’s actually getting fooled here.

the moment he sees u doing it, that epic felix thing happens again— where his smile gradually just drops and he has that :0 face in the funniest way

he isn’t sure if he should speak bcs what if that unleashes more of that demon in u 😓

he’s torn between two things actually: should he hug you and try to squish the demonic smile out of you, or should be just stay away and give u your space until ur okay again

bcs he isn’t sure about how fine you are with the way you’re smiling at him right now

he might just be like:

“haha hahahahah hahahah ok we laughed now can we pls have my partner and their sweet smile back 🙁”

genuinely doesn’t know what to do

half of him is scared, half finds you very cute, some other bits are thinking of ways to get back on a a prank of his lololololz

he decides to continue speaking bcs maybe you’ll get distracted by the talk and come back to him normally again

doesn’t happen. so now he’s just there and thinking abt how to fix u 😞🙏🏻

𖤐 SEUNGMIN : —

you hate him

you hate him so bad

he doesn’t give you any reaction AT ALL 😐👎🏻

you start off gentle at first, right, like doing it when he wasn’t looking and then gradually more intensely and so he could clearly see

but nothing. no weird looks. no comments. no judgement.

NOTHING AT ALL?!^#^*@#,

at some point you get all up in his face and you’re like 😁😁😁👹😁😁😁👹😁😁❓️❓️❓️

and mf just keeps talking like nothing is wrong or off

it gets you more and more frustrated with each passing second but man, if you’d put that irritation aside and looked more closely into his facial expressions,

you would’ve seen the way the corner of his mouth lifted in the slightest and that glint of mischief in his eye

but you don’t 🙄

when you finally give up and go “babe why aren’t you asking me why i’m smiling weird??? 😕”

he... he says... he’s like—

“huh? but don’t you always smile like that?”

damn y/n 😥💔 that’s how it was huh

you’re abt to poke his eyeballs out and then shit tears yourself

jk dw tho he’s just teasing you

he stays with felix enough to know about these ideas

and from how you’ve done multiple pranks on him before, everytime you do something weird or out of place now, he just assumes you’re onto some prank

𖤐 JEONGIN : —

HE GETS SCARED PLS DONT😭

NO LIKE he actually starts taking it in all the wrong ways

when he sees you smiling like that.. there’s this STORM of emotions that starts cooking up inside him 😭

“are they ok” “are they mad at me and trying to play it off” “is this a trick move” “is this a prank and if so how should i react that it would make me seem cool and—”

but then... SUDDENLY

he suddenly remembers this piece of information he read on the internet LONG time back, like, AGES ago !! that said like

if someone is having a stroke or about to, their smile will be crooked / really weird and off/abnormal

....

no way... right ?

HIS BABY 😟😕🥺🥺😭😭😭 (emojis are satire im not—)

“...baby 😨😰 i think... i think you’re about to have a stroke 😣 or ARE YOU HAVING IT ALREADY 😰😢😢 HAS IT STARTED😭⁉️”

now ur not sure if u should stop or continue and whether u should laugh, cry or bonk him in the head

but he’s just a jeongin 🙁🎀

[realrichinmyhead]

﹡ ' 𝐛𝐮𝐳𝐳 ' 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( ૮₍´˶• . •🎀₎ა ) : ────────── dialogues taken from niki's album , ‘ buzz ’ . dialogues range from happy , sad , angry and more . edit and change as you deem necessary . please like and / or reblog if using and consider following !

❛ be a big boy and face the fucking truth. ❜

❛ what happened to making a light of every problem? ❜

❛ but real love is a verb, i get it now. ❜

❛ i don't need to know where you're at. ❜

❛ . . .but i'll be fine cause i always end up just fine. ❜

❛ not to jinx it, but i wanna be the reason your future lovers keep changing with the seasons. ❜

❛ who am i if i can't be everybody's strong girl? ❜

❛ my youth is in your past. you'll always have that. ❜

❛ so you wanna talk? ❜

❛ what is it that you want? ❜

❛ life is a gamble, and you'll have to live with that. ❜

❛ but you still smile at a stranger, and you still make your weekend plans. ❜

❛ did you like her in the morning? ❜

❛ i feel like hot shit. ❜

❛ is this what the kids call petty? ❜

❛ though it didn't last, i hope our paths cross again. ❜

❛ soften up where i used to harden. ❜

❛ no one will ever save you. no one and nothing can. ❜

❛ so what do you say? ❜

❛ no, guys, i swear he's not emotionally unavailable. he's just traumatized. ❜

❛ you came crashing in like an act of god. ❜

❛ goddamn it, i'm at least somebody's strong girl. ❜

❛ i wanna be an itch you can't scratch. ❜

❛ did all the pretending help you forget? ❜

❛ i get the feeling that you're something that will surely go wrong. ❜

❛ no, you don't get to drop my name. ❜

❛ and you look around your bedroom, you're all alone again. ❜

❛ did you laugh over cold cups of coffee that you hate but still drink anyway? ❜

❛ the difference may be subtle, but it would have saved us. ❜

❛ wanna make out in your car in the lot of a drug store. ❜

❛ you put on a show when there's nothing else to say. ❜

❛ so you take it easy and i'll take my time. ❜

❛ i couldn't care less if this ends, in the end. ❜

❛ so you hang up, and you're not sure if you wanna cry or laugh. ❜

❛ now i'm always afraid to take up space, yet doing it anyway. ❜

❛ are you the exception or do i just like your music taste? ❜

❛ you care more about being good than being good to me. ❜

❛ people fall in love and fuck up. ❜

❛ and take my word for it, knowing you made me better. ❜

❛ it's like you've known me through all my past lives. ❜

❛ say it with your hands and we can talk all night long. ❜

❛ and i've kept you at an arm's length but now my shoulder's sore. ❜

❛ i look like a tough shot in the dark on a good day. ❜

❛ and now you expect me to wanna get brunch? ❜

❛ i wanna be wherever you are. ❜

❛ now i may very well have just lost the one. ❜

❛ maybe it won't be a sure thing, but it sure is a good thing. ❜

❛ did you like her touch at night time? ❜

❛ do i think you deserve this? my answer doesn't matter. ❜

❛ i'm tired of playing pretend. ❜

❛ i know it'd be easier if i just didn't ask, but it'd also be easier if she wasn't your last. ❜

❛ i hope that it was worth it. ❜

❛ i don't wanna be your friend. ❜

❛ what are the odds that you actually like me, and not just the chase? probably embarrassingly low. ❜

❛ the song's about to start. can you hear it? ❜

❛ and i'll take the dog on a drive somewhere. and you take care. ❜

❛ fuck, i think i'm falling for you. ❜

❛ why can't you look at what's in front of you? ❜

❛ well, you look like you're gonna break my heart. ❜

❛ it's out of my hands to wanna feel yours. ❜

❛ i hope she stubs her toe next time she texts. ❜

❛ i'm about to fall for you. ❜

❛ does it feel heavy now to look at me instеad? ❜

❛ but i don't believe in mistakes, i know that's convenient to say. ❜

❛ i get the feeling that this feeling isn't one meant to last anyway. ❜

❛ yeah, i'm gonna play the shit out of the blame game. ❜

❛ something's always missing ❜

❛ guess what i'm trying to say is i'd rather die than be friends. ❜

❛ bro, if you like her, just go and fucking tell her. ❜

❛ no, guys, i swear he's not a lost cause, it's just he hasn't met the girl that'll fix his life. ❜

❛ wish you'd focus on what's in front of you right now. ❜

❛ you can do your own thing, look, the choice is yours. ❜

❛ baby, look me in the eye and say you don't got it bad. ❜

❛ wondering why you're so nervous 'round a so-called "friend". ❜

❛ did you hope the nights would never ever end? ❜

❛ something tells me this is gonna hurt someday. ❜

❛ but i can't help that i'm the thing you're looking for. ❜

❛ don't talk to me about your last date. ❜

[miru667]

How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months

Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂

I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.

I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.

So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.

And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.

Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.

And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.

So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.

But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.

Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!

[peachy-pink-princess]

Over protective en-

Word count: 933

Please give credit to the creator if you reblog xoxo

Heeseung: Heeseung worries about you a lot. Like a lot, a lot. However he also knows that you're a plenty capable person and can take care of yourself. He doesn't want to seem pushy but low key adores the moments where he gets to be your superhero. For example when you went out for a lovely dinner and a middle aged man decided to crash your date. The following minutes would included the older man complimenting you, specifically your body. Yeah- Heeseung ain't putting up with that. Needless to say date night got cut short and ended with you nuzzled into your boyfriend's chest at home, where the only man you need to think about is him.

Jay: Repeat after me, husband material. He's shamelessly overprotective. Like his s/o is beautiful, smart, talented, everything he could want and more. Regardless of the situation you're always in his mind. He texts you constantly through out the day to ask about your day. So when he received a text from you that you were outside the hybe building waiting for him, imagine his surprise to see another man's arms around you. He may not be the most passive aggressive out of the members but he's in the top 3. Expect to hear his sweet voice saying some...less sweet words. It's all worth it though, cuz guess who's arms are around you now? His<3

Jake: I don't think Jake is an over protective boyfriend. He gives and has full trust with his s/o... That being said his trust doesn't extend to anyone else. He thinks everyone wants you fr✋ He'll be like

" you see that person over there, they're looking at you. "

" No they aren't-"

" I mean you're perfect so I understand why they're staring "

" they literally aren't staring ".

That is the average conversation with Sim Jaeyun. One time out of the many you've had that conversation he was right.

" They're looking at you. "

" I'm sure you're wrong Jake. "

He gave up pretty quickly on that conversation and went to the bathroom. When he came back the guy Jake had noticed was no longer in the corner from before but rather trapping you against the wall. Jake to your rescue, his method of saving is extremely painful. He chooses to ramble to death. Tell him to shut up plz ( jk I love him ). He'll make it so awkward that the guy has to go away. Definitely has the most shit-eating grin you will ever see. Call himself your knight in shining armor. Just go with it, we love him.

Sunghoon: Acts like he doesn't care. ( He does ). He cares a lot. Sunghoon will definitely deny this side of himself but everyone, even the members, knows he's over protective. Sunghoon took you on an ice skating date, something he sees as incredibly entertaining ( especially when you need his help ). When he went to retie his laces you were left all alone on the Ice, at least you thought.

" Are you all alone? "

When the young man approached you, you didn't think much of it. However, when he grabbed your hands trying to lead you on the ice , pulling you forward you suddenly feel hands on your hips. Keeping you from moving any farther. " She's with me " is all Sunghoon says before dragging you far far away

Sunoo: Sunoo is a difficult one when it comes to being overprotective. There's only one thing he gets jealous of...your pets or animals. (( He thinks they're the only things that are as cute as him )).

" You know why I'm better? Because unlike that cat I don't scratch you- I know it's cute but...so am I "

You'll probably have to give your pet and your boyfriend affection at the same time- it's just the sunoo way

Jungwon: we all know he's so silently judgmental. This definitely applies to your boy best friend. He doesn't get the concept. Like shouldn't he be your boy best friend?! Jungwon went to pick you up after class to see you talking with the other male. Jungwon felt curious, deciding to approach and listen from a far.

" Come on jungwon is always away you need a real man you need me "

Your friend put his hands on your shoulders his touch slightly aggressive. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and you desperately wanted your boyfriend. Lucky for you, he came.

" I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. You think you're so much better for them than me? If you were than you wouldn't be making MY darling so uncomfortable right now. Come on y/n were going, right now. "

Niki: Nothing worries him more than the idea of you leaving, especially for a vacation. After all he left his entire country to pursue the idea of being an idol and although there is a lot of important people in his life that he started in Korea you are definitely the most important. He doesn't know why but a certain part of his brain always switches on when he hears that you'll be leaving for a while, he's afraid he won't come back and he'll lose one more person that means so much to him. The day that you leave for vacation you'll receive hundreds of texts all of them being sweet just asking you about your trip and telling you to keep him updated so he knows his love is safe.

I haven't posted in a while but I really hope that this is enjoyable for all my readers and please give me some requests, I want to get them done before the holidays as a treat to my readers

[tottymatsuno]

Since I'm not as over it as I initially thought I was another aspect of this is once you really get down to it, at least from my personal experience with this concept is that when people are honest when they don't reblog/compliment your posts but are camped out in your notes or reblog your friends posts from you.

Is that often the reason why is exactly what I feared. I had multiple people tell me straight up they thought my art was ugly. I had people tell me while they found my comics funny, that I needed to go back and learn the basics such as how to draw a circle. I had people who told me my art isn't aesthetically pleasing, or it embarrasses them to reblog until other people did it first.

These same people who then begged me to continue to post so they can access the art & writing they deemed unworthy. The person who told me I needed to learn how to draw circles also suggested that I spent my time tracing bases from clip studio, and went on to tell me to never stop creating. In their tags on one of my fics they said "give it a chance, it's not that bad!"

I'm disabled. I have 75% grip strength in my right hand, 90% in my left, some days it's better, some months it's worse. I write a lot because it's easier. I have a heart condition that mimicks rheumatoid arthritis in my joints that I've got to physical therapy over.

Not that it effects much of anything, but I stopped posting serious art specifically because I'd been told "it's much harder for fic writers to get seen, fan artists have it better" and it shattered my heart bc there were pieces I uploaded, that weren't self insert, that I spent hours on and only for 3 likes.

What does get reblogged are my low effort jokes. And then people had no idea I actually have a serious art style, which then became a "Well, Robin can't draw so it's okay to talk to him like that if I frame it 'nicely'. He'll respond kindly to my critiques."

I get incredibly anxious posting my art that I worked hard on specifically because of these things so I don't do it often. I try not to post things close to my heart online anymore specifically because of how I was treated, both directly and indirectly.

I have friends I trust now, and friends that I really care about but even with them I don't really post often in a group setting because of how sensitive I am to what I perceive as rejection.

Ik my art isn't the best, I know my doodles aren't that great, but I don't think my story is unique. I think the way that fandoms treat the artists who prop them up has changed a lot. I think people have become consumers and don't particularly care that there are real human beings with real circumstances which extend beyond their usernames on their screen

So its become easier to chew them up and spit them out - there will be 10 more in their place by tomorrow.

I went through the tags of that other post I reblogged and the universal answer was "if I like something it's just fine, if I reblog it then it's worth putting on my blog" which is another direct confirmation of the very thing I was paranoid of.

I also saw several "if you get your motivation tied up in the likes/reblog game then you're wrong" and advice on how reblogs are.... Advertisement? Or promotion? And not just how content is spread across the platform? Which was strange because literally if everyone only posted and liked, there would be no tumblr.

That isn't how people frame the likes and reblogs. When I reblog a post about Osomatsu’s long tits I'm not giving the op advertisement on Oso's saggy boobs? It's not like I'm promoting long cup bras 😭

Anyways, the entitlement of having new content to consume, and then not providing your half of the bargain in the way the OP would like - its at odds.

When i realized, and have been proven correct in the assumption that when a post is exclusively liked that means it isn't good enough to be reblogged

I didn't stop creating. I didn't stop writing or drawing, or really anything. There is a huge archive of things I've made that I just don't have the energy to post for 3 notes. Idk if yall ever tried to upload fics onto tumblr but it's not easy. The formsting and tumbles half baked 3 text post editors that don't accomplish anything on their own was a hassle and took forever.

I write for my friends, and I write for myself. Writing for myself was the big advice I'd been given, not to tie up my self worth with it, that I didn't need or shouldn't need the validation that came from comments & reblogs and that 4 notes was a fair exchange for four hours of effort.

But I always write & draw for myself. I just don't post it anymore. I remember people were begging me not to stop making things when the truth was they were begging me to POST what I'd been making. It felt very much like I was being a treated like a content mill instead of a person who they could be friends with. So now I have several friends I exchange/do trades for or just show my stuff too! it's pretty easy to become my friend and with just a little encouragement I'd share any and all of my works, but I upload what I don't care about or I upload stuff for my friends.

Anyways the post really reminded me that artists were correct in the assumption likes meant it wasn't good enough. Yall said so yourselves

[deliriumsdelight7]

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Thank you for the asks, my friend!

12.) Receiving feedback/support is everything. There’s nothing more humbling and gratifying than knowing when I’ve touched someone’s heart using the itch in the back of my brain that I scratch by putting it to words. I’ve had comments that changed the entire course of the story because someone picked up on something I didn’t. I hate that I’m not the best at responding to comments, because I read and appreciate each and every one. But alas, I am a gremlin with low self-esteem, and my reflex to getting a compliment is to explain why it’s wrong. I’m trying to do better, to accept them when they’re given, but sometimes that means waiting a month or two and responding briefly.

Not receiving feedback… okay. I know that there’s this whole discourse between “writers are not entitled to engagement” versus “readers are not entitled to the free labor of writers.” I can see both sides. Needless to say, I am biased towards the side of the writers. But all this talk about “not entitled to” is just going to result in everyone stubbornly refusing to do a thing for another. I have to believe fandom is better than that.

I tend to think of writing fic as having guests over for dinner. The host spends hours of time and effort organizing the event, getting the house ready, cooking a meal and serving it. It is, in my opinion, rude to willingly partake in that without offering so much as a thank you in return. That thank you can come in the form of a like, a kudo, a single emoji, a reblog. Just something to say “I appreciate the time and effort you put into this.”

Ultimately, fandom is an ecosystem. Take any part of it out - the writers, the artists, the event organizers, the people who send out prompts and headcanons, and yes, the audience - and the whole thing falls apart.

18.) Nine times out of ten, I’m frantically trying to come up with a title as I’m posting the fic. All of my fic titles are song lyrics or titles that kinda sorta vaguely maybe vibe with my story.

26.) Wildest ride? I guess that would be Jupiter’s Waters, which is just a retelling of Heavy Rain using different characters. So I can’t really take credit for that. But if watching a father torture himself to save his son from a serial killer isn’t wild, I don’t know what is.

54.) The moment of inspiration on a fic I’ve been stuck on for weeks/months. It’s like feeling your tires finally snag some traction after spinning in the mud for ages. Usually it comes after I put a story down and work on something else. It never really feels like a new idea, per se. More like a puzzle piece I’d been looking for, that finally turned up between the couch cushions. It’s less a “eureka” moment than a “there you are! Where have you been?” moment.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

@bootlegfrank tagged me and @septiccoffeefreak - who shares this post w me because we're writing partners >:3 (frank tagged us indirectly. and then directly because i responded saying i was gonna do it. so in-indirect-diretly(??))

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern. I also said where each one is from in case u don't wanna scroll through our ao3 and do the math urself!!!

all these fics except one r RPF, sooo BE WARNED. i'm putting everything under da cut, and i'm also putting my reblog banner since fanfiction!!! is!!! art!!!

Seán’s about ready to burn his entire calendar.

from "Scheduling Conflicts and How To Cope - A Guide For The Busy Homosexual"

Tommy hates LA with every fiber of his being.

from "City Of Angels"

it's cold, and it hurts.

from "The Part Where it Gets Better (Lads rescue AU)", and also THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT LIKE WHAT'S COLD??? it's water. the water is cold. this is the character based one btw. WE FOUND IT, THE NON-RPF!!!

Tommy inspects Seán’s behelit tattoo carefully, running his thumb over it a little, then kisses it.

I fucking would. kissing all his tattoos right now. mwah. this goddamn MOOD is from "There's No Place Like Home"

Ethan N3st0r was not expecting Seán to still be awake at three AM, even though with jet lag considered, he really fuckin should have.

I censored the name for search but it's not like that in the fic, that's just for tumblr. anyway, from "Three Drabbles In Which Tommy and Seán are bad at Keeping Secrets"

Ethan's the one to bring it up first, on Brain Leak, of all things.

OPENING WITH ETHAN AGAIN LMAOO. this is from "And Suddenly, It Makes Sense."

"So, who would have thought, huh? T0mmy1nn1t and Jacks3pt1c3y3, famous YouTubers, passed away in their sleep on the same night."

censored for tumblr again. from "Count your Soulmates- There's only one."

Seán and Tommy have sleepovers sometimes.

from "kissing practice". very original opening line /sar /lh (also tbh i feel awful about em being evil in this one :( I know its fanfic and i can do whatever I want but like. idk. i'm not accusing em of being mean IRL okay??? OKAY))

Seán spends about fifteen minutes pacing and staring at himself in the mirror, doing breathing exercises his therapist taught him and trying not to rub or scratch his wrists too much.

from "Puppy Love", the closest we've ever gotten to full misce posting on main

They were gluing ducks to a jeep the first time it happened.

FROM "PETNAMES" AND ALSO THE BEST OPENING LINE EVER

INTERPRETATION TIME!!!!

soooo yeah!!! we like to jump right into action as well but I think it's safe to say our autistic ass habits of giving exposition for everything lead to the specific outcome of starting in the middle of a scene, WITH an explanation of the scene. like we're already in the middle of something going on but also sometimes it's exposition at the same time somehow?? or like right after these first lines. idk maybe that's just me????

the way it's usually less (character does this) and more (character does this BECAUSE ____ // character is doing this and FEELING ____) feels like it's trying to give context, to me. but again idk maybe just me

TIME FOR SEÁN'S READING:

@septiccoffeefreak - "What I'm noticing here is more along the lines of just, how we almost always seem to open with a person. Usually by their actual name(s) too and not just a pronoun. I understand what you mean, Tommy, but I don't personally get that vibe? You could totally be right, of course, I just don't pick up on that. I defenitely notice, though, just how many of these are sentences where the literal first word is a name. the two exceptions to that are the pronoun "they" (which is still a person- or two people actually), and then water.

I guess the dialogue could also be considered an exception, but I don't think it counts since it also directly references us as characters.

and that's not something you necessarily have to do. You could open describing scenery or objects, or with dialogue that DOESN'T have the names of the characters in it- you could open with wind through a blade of grass or a character cursing under their breath or someone's cellphone crashing to the pavement or something. So it's definitely an "us" thing, it's a quirk of our writing style and not just normal writing. I don't know if like, we ALWAYS do this, but I do know that in these ten fics you pulled we do. I wouldn't be surprised if we did it like literally all the time as well, but I'm not going to pretend to know every first line we've ever penned to paper. or...print?? I don't fucking know, here, I'm just analyzing sentences on the internet for a tagging project.

Sorry if this ramble is kind of long, I hope it's at least interesting though??? sort of interesting? kind of interesting, in it's own way, hopefully. at least mildly, like a video you didn't turn on but aren't really reaching for the mouse/remote on to change it. You know?? Yeah. Like that. Or more interesting then that, hopefully. Thanks for uh, reading or, whatever, listening if you have a screen reader i guess, I'm getting nervous and it's very obvious because i'm rambling so I'm gonna hand things back off to the birthday boy, Toms. wish Tommo a happy birthday or I swear to fucking god your liver will be missing in the morning and you'll find it at the bottom of your morning cup of coffee."

back to me:

LMAO

wow omg i love my babygirl,,,, that made me laugh >:p

ANYWAYS. i didn't notice that!! oh em gee,,,,, name moment.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS TOO AND SEE IF YOUUUU SEE ANYTHING!!!!!

I'M TAGGING @kalcifers-blog AND.... no one else because all my other mutuals who i know for a fact write have paused as far as i'm aware, bc they're into mcyt RPF like I am and the w1lbvr situation put them on hiatus. and i don't know if any of them are back to feeling up to writing stuff.

I don't write about w1bvr ever and didn't watch him so I wasn't that affected but a lot of people were even if they just watched so like... Kalcie ur alone on here i'm SO SORRIE. ALSO this is /nf so u don't have to if u dont want to :p :3 >:D :000 >:PPPP :000 >:00

[somethingabitdifferent]

Myself:

23 years old

Aromantic Asexual 🖤🩶🤍💜

Transfem NB

About:

This is a kink blog, Minors DNI

Kink sideblog specifically to put stuff that indulges my acebreaking kink, because sometimes it really scratches that itch. Whether I want it to or not

This is more or less an archive for acebreaking posts I find, but they often tap into adjacent kinks too, such as misogyny, rape, orient play, and misgen.

And I might make some of my own posts, but also maybe not. Idk, we'll see how it plays out I guess

Spam likes and reblogs are more than welcome! Please enjoy everything here to your heart's content

If I reblog a post of yours and you want me to delete it, just let me know.

Asks/Messages:

Yeah, sure, why not.

No guarantee I'll answer them, but I wouldn't mind getting some.

They'd probably even turn me on, so I encourage you to send them

[sasukimimochi]

A gift for @mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess and all you folks suffering during the ao3 drought! 💖 Enjoy your spice 😳✨

This will be properly posted on Ao3 (this is the chapter link for the draft, once ao3 is working fluidly again. this link will of course still be the same and work properly once its made public!) once the chaos is over with the full picture (i had to crop the second one) but you can also see the ficlet in its complete glory with the full picture here on my google drive. (please remember to reblog/share the ficlet though here if you read it on google docs! ;0 also this is a design reveal for SOBO LXC!

Word Count - 1281 (Suns Out, Buns Out! - POV Lan Xichen)

.✦ Not Just Summer Heat ☀

Lan Xichen’s mood was…less than desirable lately. Well, there were many reasons why; he usually enjoyed the summer weather! but it’d been so hot that even he was shedding layers of cloth and suffering with the rest of the clan. Well, not as many. He liked his layers, even if they made him suffer.

Sometimes he’d wonder why disciples would run off before he came over, but then he’d realize how scary he must look- he was usually so calm but he was sure to have a resting irritated set to his eyes which no one was used to. He was known for being one of the cool twin jades and usually the kinder looking of the two, but god, summer made it hard.

At least he didn’t have sect duties, he was sure if he had to deal with Sect leader Yao he would sucker punch him. The one time he had to stand in he must have looked pretty scary, because the other leaders gave him quite the wide berth.

“The best way to cool off?” Wei Wuxian smiled and turned onto his stomach, leaning his head onto a hand. “You’re wearing three robes. Ditch one of those for a starter.”

Lan Xichen sighed, “I…do suppose you’re right.” He shed the robe he usually kept hanging over his elbows and folded it in his lap, the small relief at least something.

“Cold springs too, but I can understand not wanting to turn into a prune...plus, everyone is trying to get into the cold springs these days.” Wei Wuxian chuckled, nearly purring as Lan Wangji scratched under his chin. “Or maybe make yourself sweat a bit.”

“Wei Ying.”

“I didn’t say how.” Wei Wuxian laughed, tilting his head into the scratches and nearly purring from the comfort of it if he weren’t, you know, a bunny.

Lan Wangji knew better. They both did, but Lan Xichen appeared as though he didn’t fully pick it up. “What’s wrong with Wei-gongzi’s suggestion?” He fanned himself, giving off that trademark irritation he had lately, which made his brother just shake his head.

“Nothing, give it a try when you are feeling too warm!” Wei Wuxian smiled brightly, completely used to that sort of look from his own shidi, and by now had learned this was just one of Xichen’s normal midsummer moods as well. 

Lan Xichen wasn’t sure how these two were so active even in such heat. He had to excuse himself to get some relief in the cold springs.

Only…there were so many disciples there already. So Wei Wuxian was right, the springs were a bust, he was much too embarrassed to admit he wanted to go there to cool off and not cultivate.

He sighed, flitting the fan given to him as a gift from Huaisang in his face in his futile attempts to cool himself. Maybe he could check the back mountains- but then again there were probably disciples there too. He groaned. Maybe he should just ask someone to fill his bath with cold water. Ah, but he shouldn’t waste water during the dry season. Everyone was being a bit more careful with water use at these times…

So that left the one jokingly made suggestion that his brother’s husband had teased him with. Lan Xichen was probably thinking too hard about what he suggested. But…

He was suggesting I indulge myself.

It was an inappropriate behavior to do so, which is to say. Not very encouraged™ in this clan. But now that he was thinking about it…It was constantly in the back of his mind, which meant it was constantly a struggle for his little ‘friend’ to stay docile.

And today was so hot.

He tugged at his lapels until his entire chest was exposed and fanned himself, groaning quietly. “Why did the heavens decide to heat the earth like we’re dinner?”

He really did feel miserable, every time he shifted feeling the heat between his legs as well, mind fogged over with the heat and body betraying his discipline.

He stole a glance into his mirror and he ended up unable to tear his eyes away. If he was exposed to someone right now, he would be quite embarrassed. But..

His skin was glistening in all the right areas, albeit subtly. Flushed rosy hues dusted the crowns of his cheeks, his nose, his…

He wondered quietly about a future wife or perhaps…a husband, coming in and seeing him like this. He felt a small throb move from his stomach and down, and took a small, breathy inhale shortly after. 

So what if he indulged in a bit of a fantasy? He was by himself and would be for the whole day. It was hot and he was told at least one solution he could but wasn’t using.

At this point, he couldn’t grasp his self control, but he could grasp something else.

He groaned quietly as his fingers traced the warm heat pressing up against his hand from beneath his robes, and god he wanted to remove them so badly. He surprised himself with how fast he did, and how fast his clumsy fingers went to work.

“M-mngh, oh…” He panted quietly, the heat in his palm pulsing with each little movement of his hips.

“My, my handsome husband is so pitiful like this, all by his lonesome too!”

He shuddered as his imagination filled in someone’s voice, a tremor shaking his body imagining their lips by his ear and whispering to him while…god forbid, they also touch him. 

“Look at how messy you’ve gotten! Allow me-”

He couldn’t help the tremble in his voice as he moaned, the sound actually embarrassing him as it slipped from his tongue, pushing more and more of his robes away until practically all that was left was bunched around his abdomen under his sash or his ankles.

His length wept in his hand, the thought of someone’s tongue anywhere on his sensitive skin leaving his chest heaving. He forgot where he was, the sensation of pleasure and overwhelming heat canceling out any other thoughts he may have once had.

“Husband,”

His knees trembled as his thumb ran over the tip of that sensitive glans.

“Cum for me.”

Lan Xichen’s breath suddenly picked up and he bucked into his hand, leaning back heavily against the wall as an intense wave of pleasure washed over his body.

He swallowed and looked into the mirror once more. He was right, if someone walked in on him like this he would be very embarrassed. 

Though, he was finding it hard not to do it again.

.    ☀    .

“You seem to be in a better mood lately, er-ge.” Nie Huaisang watched Lan Xichen pour the two tea, hiding his face behind his favorite fan. “You look a little less mad at the world. It doesn’t seem cooler yet though.”

Lan Xichen paused and only a hint of something rosy tinted his cheeks. He cleared his throat and smiled, “I just started wearing less layers, visiting the cold springs a bit more…” He trailed off, staring at his hot tea with disdain, “Ah, I still think it's too hot for tea though.”

“He just started sweating to beat the heat!”

Lan Xichen’s head turned so fast Huaisang was surprised it didn't fall off.

Wei Wuxian covered his mouth and laughed as Lan Wangji sighed and pulled his husband away from the Yashi. “Apologies Xiongzhang.”

Lan Xichen held his head while Nie Huaisang fought not to laugh aloud. At least his brother had mercy on him.

“I would like to hear more, er-ge.”

Lan Xichen just knew that Huaisang was smiling behind that fan.

Thanks for reading 😊💖✨

Find more MDZS art/projects on my masterpost! ❤

[skayafair]

Names, Legends and Archetypes

Since it’s theories day, I’ll write another long-awaiting post.

So far names seem to be important/have meaning.

- Faroe - as was noted here, she’s named after the Isle of Sheep. This made me think about her role as ‘sacrificial lamb’: while she had to die, she still has an immense impact on Arthur and, thus, everything that’s goin on. The parellel with Addison only added to this impression.

- Kellin told about his name himself

- John Doe as a name speaks for itself and has so many connotations within the plot that I won’t even dig into this, there’s going to be a wall of text and this post isn’t about it. In short, I see it as a blank slate for the piece of entity to begin his journey to becoming someone of his own design. Plus, John seems to have a fixation on names.

- Someone here (forgive me I didn’t reblog and can’t find the post now) noticed Andrew Larson’s initials coincide with Arthur Lester’s - plot mirrors and parallels, we get it. I wonder if Jack Larson’s name has any meaning to it as well.

- There’s also Bella and I have a feeling it’s just the first name to hop into one’s mind to define some not-very-important female figure - she’s a woman, women are associated with beauty, let it be “Bella”. Maybe I’m wrong, it’s just a feeling.

And now we’re getting to the main star - Arthur.

First I’ll have to remind about one short episode 20 part when Kayne (who seems to be my main starting point for all the theories since he’s the only one who seems to actually know something) called Hastur “once and future king”.

This scratched my ears when I heard it because I never encountered the King in Yellow being referred this way before. This title exists, but it isn’t his.

Kayne MIGHT have been saying this just for the drama, this is always an option.

Except.

The actual “once and future king”’s name is Arthur Pendragon from british legends.

Soooooooo.

I like the idea that Lester and John form “jester” and those two are basically a Jester archetype in this story, mocking and challenging the King, being insightful and gaining wisdom, never bowing to the challenges they face, - but I get this is rather stretched. 

But I also know there are some interesting theories circulating.

For instance, I like the idea that the King in Yellow started as a human - this would explain why John’s called “Hastur’s heart” - I mean why an eldritch entity would need a “heart” in the first place? Besides, John seems to recall being human some time in his past, although this is unclear, but it ties well with the rest. Contrary to his own words, he didn’t learn everything from Arthur or their time together: e.g., it was John’s own initiative to stop by the car and go search for the child, and they’ve been together for less than a day by then. No one changes this fast, so I believe John has always had compassion in him - it’s another question of what to consider “humanity” and what not, but I guess within the podcast it would be considered as such, these words are often used there as synonims semantically.

So John may be Hastur’s human heart.

And the King might have been human some long time ago.

So there may either be timey-wimey and becoming the King is actually Arthur’s fate - time makes a full circle, seems fitting to “once and future king” title.

Or this is an indication of the rivalry, opposition of the two: the false King and the true future one, the Hero (which is another archetype and Arthur is striving to fit into it the whole series).

I like the 2nd option more, especially since the narration keeps mocking Arthur for his vanity time and again (reciting Invictus and giving up his principles a few episodes later, really now), so he’s never actually a Hero, he’s unfit for the title to begin with, but it’s exactly what makes this all interesting.

Or maybe there are other explanations (or I’m reading to much into things as usual).

The discussions are very welcome!

[joyce-stick]

joystick system diaries - June 29, 2023 - storytelling and open world games

Okay so, I (Audrey) was going to make this into, like, a video thing with a video format, so that we could have something up this month. However, I just now realized that I fucking hate it. I hate the idea of editing this brain soup into a video. I hated reading this out loud. I hated listening to our voice reading this out loud. I fucking hate the whole thing.

I fucking hate everything that we have written lately. Everything we write is bad. I hate it. I just want to be rid of it

so. Here! I guess. I'm getting rid of it. Here's the whole written thing. It's about how Fallout New Vegas is actually not all that great. I guess reblog it if you think Fallout New Vegas is not actually all that great. Or don't! Meow.

I think you should give us money on Patreon or Ko-fi so that we hopefully write a little more (and one day, better?) while eating a little more and being slightly less mentally ill

Lately, we’ve been playing Fallout: New Vegas. It’s a game that a lot of people like. It’s a game that a lot of trans women like. It’s also a game that a lot of trans women do not like. One of those trans women happens to think that they're not sure if they like Fallout New Vegas, but that maybe, Fallout New Vegas is boring!

I finished a playthrough of it a few weeks ago, and found that the whole thing was just not very, whelming. It has walking, it has dialogue, it has an ending. It has a bunch of tasks that you can do, which leads to more walking, and more dialogue. And, sure, the tasks are well organized, in a sensible manner for this type of game- you start by getting an objective to go to a place and find a person, by meeting a person, who refers you to a person, who refers you to another place with another objective and that place takes you to another person, and so on and so forth until you arrive at the last person, one of these fuckers, who gives you the last place, Hoover Dam, with the last objective, shoot some of these other fuckers with these other people.

So, sure, it works as a video game that takes you from thing to do to thing to do without leaving you scratching your head, but this doesn’t really make for a story. It makes a bunch of pieces of a story that you can kinda pull together. I guess. So well. That’s why after blitzing through the game to get to the independent route and having the game pat me on the back going like, “oooh, good job! you won!” Just sorta rang like… “excuse me?”

What’s the point of open world games, anyway. Why does everything have to be open world. Like, medium open world, like a semi-open overworld that just, offers an intentionally designed explorable but eminently manageable place that exists to connect the gameplay and provide a little narrative context, but doesn't awkwardly stretch on into infinity. Sonic Adventure, Psychonauts, Yakuza. That kind of open world is nice. But the big open worlds that are just like, hey, here’s a huge field, huge city, huge place that is just huge for the sake of being huge. Why do we need this?

I don’t know, if people enjoy sandbox playgrounds, I guess, whatever- but I can say this much, and it’s just, open world games aren’t a great vehicle for storytelling. How the fuck are you supposed to tell any kind of coherent story when the way it’s presented is as dialogue nuggets dripfed to players as they fuck around? Like, Sonic Frontiers, for instance, is what I’d say is one of the few examples of this done well, and it has some really good dialogue written by Ian Flynn, one of the writers of the Sonic comic books everyone likes. This good dialogue is not really well serviced by the structure of this game, where Sonic is ostensibly under a time pressure to go rescue everyone but can in actuality fuck around infinitely. Like, a lot of the best bits of dialogue are from idle dialogue you get standing around, but no one is going to just stand around in this game unless they’re specifically waiting for the dialogue. So. The way you’re going to get a good story in this game is by, y’know, not fucking around. Going and doing the objectives. And I guess, fishing, so that you can unlock the egg memos, that Big the Cat inexplicably has. So.

So yeah, Sonic Frontiers, cool game, good story, and the open world is made tolerable by having Sonic, be fast. I like the Sonic video game. But this could’ve pretty easily been presented in a Sonic Adventure 1998 but updated, format, with a world that was only as big as it needed to be, and discrete memorable stages, like, y’know, a regular 3D Sonic game, and that would’ve been cool, but instead it’s, big field. And now the next game, probably, has to be big field. Except maybe the Generations/Forces asset use in those cyberspace stages will get itself replaced with some new stages, or at least, like, new assets for new stage themings, and that’d be nice.

Um, what else has happened lately? We’ve been watching a lot of anime and reading manga, I guess. We’ve been watching a lot of movies. We watched Kiki’s Delivery Service. We watched Across the Spider-Verse, and it was great and everything. I have mildly complex feelings about the spider-people being cop kids from cop families, and the flag on the wall owned by one of the cop kids with the cop dad leading everyone to mass headcanon her as trans, but y’know what, whatever. I can wait to talk about that.

We watched Bound. That was cool. That movie’s got a couple lesbians in it. Literally a couple, of them, y’know.

Oh, and also, we’ve been reading a few really good yuri manga. So, y’know what, I think I’m going to write about those later.

Might make this a series. Maybe. We’ll see.

Y’know, y’know what’s what, with the Patreon thing, and the Ko-fi thing, and with how we always need money, so I’m just going to, skip that. This time. Check the description or the comments or whatever.

Bye.

Oh, um, setting aside what I said about New Vegas, our friend, colleague, and unofficial teacher, Talen Lee, wrote a post about New Vegas. It’s a nice interesting little piece that talks about the value of memes. Okay. Bye for real now.

[woonova]

꩜ ﾟ˖ SKATER GIRL

◟﹙ 🏐 ﹚sim jaeyun ﹕oneshot ﹙ @woonova ﹚

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  written to something about you by eyedress

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  genre non-idol au, strangers to lovers?, fluff

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  synopsis jake finds himself mindlessly wandering to the old skate park, just to watch you practice your new tricks

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  warning mentions of stalking?, mentions of injuries

ʚɞ ﾟ˖  wc 0.49k

— tumblr’s algorithm works best with reblogging so plz consider reblogging and liking my posts ! —

"HEY STALKER BOY," you said in a casual tone as you sat beside the boy you had seen entering the park earlier, trying to regain some energy from all the stunts you just did.

"Stop calling me that," he replied, with a slight whine in his tone, allowing you to view the situation as less serious than it already was. "just call me by my name," he added with a small tilt of his lips. you mirrored this action adding a small shake of your head, signifying that you were not going to do that and probably never would.

Placing your board behind you and running your fingers through the tangled strands that sat on your head, you looked out at the scenery before you. the sun finally making its departure causing the sky to glow with its fiery hue. "i thought you were busy today," you uttered quietly, remembering what he had told you yesterday. "practice got rescheduled so 'guess i'm not anymore," he replied in the same quiet tone. you hummed in acknowledgement, staring down at your crossed legs.

You had thought of a moment like this very often, or ever since Jake had properly introduced himself, with slightly shaky hands and a cute smile around a week prior.

You always saw him around the old park, but never paid quite much mind to him thinking he was just interested in skateboarding — well you were right to some extent, i mean you did skate. and you would continue to notice him, even one day catching him lurking around the park area, lurking around you.

Now, you thought he was a weird stalker and Jake must have figured that out because the next day he quickly found you on entry, and explained everything. turns out he was interested in 'skateboarding', explaining that he would come each day just to watch you practice your tricks.

"I just think you look cool."

And now here you sat, with jake by your side, picking at the bandaid that covered a scratch you received from a fail attempt of a trick you had seen online.

"you should be more careful you know, and actually wear your padding,"

"and look like a loser, no thanks ."

"i think you'd look cute," jake said snickering a bit, trying to get the image of you with pads on your elbows and knees and a big helmet to top it all off, out of his head. you only sarcastically threw a laugh back at him, picking up your board up from behind you both.

Dusting the remains of grass that littered your shorts, you made your way over to the skating area, ready to show jake another trick — to which you succeeded.

Jake smiled to himself as you landed on your board with a happy grin, muttering small praises to yourself, in excitement. and he assured himself that if every evening was like this, he would never dare miss the entry to that skate park again.

© https://...woonova | 2023

[whetstonefires]

I posted 11,002 times in 2022

That's 846 more posts than 2021!

177 posts created (2%)

10,825 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@beatrice-otter

@pavlovs-pigeon

@brawltogethernow

@vesperway

@audreycritter

I tagged 1,968 of my posts in 2022

#hoc est meum - 245 posts

#lmao - 84 posts

#mdzs - 75 posts

#ask - 61 posts

#laugh rule - 34 posts

#locked tomb - 29 posts

#batman - 25 posts

#cql - 22 posts

#blogblogging - 20 posts

#anonymous - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the thing is tim has definitely not gotten that much taller so. bernard shrank??? i want to write a fic about the diegetic supernatural inci

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Oh protip for recently diagnosed glasses-wearers, that they don't necessarily tell you at any point in the acquisition process:

The 'polishing your glasses on your shirt' trope in fiction goes back to when glasses were actually made with glass, which is as you learn in any introductory geology course fairly abrasion-resistant.

Modern lenses, which are plastic--yeah yadda yadda hi-poly resin blah blah, it's plastic--are less robust, and if you go around rubbing smudges off on random fabrics without rinsing off any and all dust particles first you will micro-scratch them foggy faster than you'd like.

1,787 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

#4

Me trying to determine what range of months it is reasonable to feature a pregnant goat in a farm scene: gotta go to the How To Breed Goats website.

How To Breed Goats has informed me that while continuing to breed your female goat past age 10 is likely to significantly shorten her life expectancy, so maybe don't do that, the males are going to die in what's middle age for a not-overbred female regardless.

because goats have a heat/rut cycle, and apparently going into rut is really bad for the health.

a/b/o fandom i hope someone has taken notes on this and done some hilarious angst about the short lifespan of the average alpha.

2,799 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#3

again, so many cql/mdzs modern AUs set in america and never one in which nie huaisang is like:

so i knew this dude in high school, right, who invented a new kind of nuke and so naturally the government recruited him to work in Defense before he even finished college but then he went rogue about an ethics issue with refugee camps and became the most famous terrorist in living memory and died in a police shootout

and that's the guy i, the Secretary of Education, want to help me kill the President.

3,477 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

i do not like this update that collapses the note count into a simpler number. it is bad. that was not a thing that needed simplifying. i promise we can all round in our heads.

not only do i despise imprecision in general (and resent that in order to know the exact note count on a post i would now have to do math on the breakdown screen) i liked watching the note count go up by one when i pushed a button; that was valuable enrichment for the monkey. fix it.

4,292 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love when people say Alfred Pennyworth is the most sane or stable member of the batfamily because like.

This is a man who had two exciting careers before he even stopped being 'a young man,' and then stepped up as a butler because it was his estranged father's dying wish

and then when his employers' son was orphaned accepted custody, and just

has been basically cosplaying a butler as 80% of his visible personality for thirty to fifty years.

He fell sideways into not-exactly-parenting and was like, welp, guess this is my life now and just. Continued to not-parent his ward long after he was a grown man, enabled all his weirdness, helped him slightly-more-openly-parent a succession of kids while always maintaining his posture of being an employee.

Did not have any real personal life and also has no coworkers to speak of.

Could have changed any of this at any time and repeatedly chose to not do that.

This man is a lunatic. This man is a cornerstone of all subsequent lunacies.

It's extra funny when the batfam says it because it's perfectly believable they would think so because 1) their baseline is so warped and 2) that's what he wants them to think.

He may in fact personally believe that he's the Only Sane Man In This Belfry, although he is wrong, but he for sure knows he's not actually okay. He just feels it's his duty that none of his charges notice it. Because it's not their job to worry about or care for him. Only the other way around.

Yes I am saying all this in the present tense even though he's still dead, because time death and comics are all fake anyway.

4,462 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[plague-of-insomnia]

Yeah this post is so full of corporate bull-speak I can’t even begin to dive into it all.

But this?

Finally getting to read about this new tumblr bullshit. From one of the Reblog:

When I first joined this site in 2009, I was taken through a screen that asked about my interests and I got to pick 3 of those interests. It then showed me the top blogs who posted things related to my interests and I followed some of them. This gave my dash content. It was a lovely little tutorial on how to use the site and how to make it a place that felt like me. Somewhere along the way you seem to have stopped doing that, and thus your new users are apparently 'confused'.

This is STILL how it works. I literally made a new tumblr account completely from scratch unattached to my current one, only about 2 weeks ago, and it required that I pick topics and follow people before I could even get to my dashboard.

All they need to add is an explanation that tumblr doesn’t use an algorithm and that’s that.

New users are only confused bc rn all social media sites EXCEPT THIS ONE use an algorithm. And most people who use tumblr regularly, who have been here and will continue to do so for years (unless it changes completely) do so precisely because we do not LIKE other social media sites.

I cannot stand what twitter has become, even before Musk took over. Because I don’t feel like I can even see the crap I want to. IG is even worse. I stopped using it because I couldn’t ever find any of the content of people I followed and was just being shoved reel after reel after reel, which I do not fucking want.

Reddit has annoyed me for years by constantly sending me notifications I cannot dismiss for reddits I don’t follow and never have even visited, often that have nothing to do with my actual interests.

This sounds all well and good, like “we’ll help make sure newer and less popular creators are seen!!” And yet you keep making changes (like fucking the tags up majorly) that actually makes it even harder to be seen.

And generally, algorithms always favor popular blogs, or people who can afford to use at least half of their time doing the “right” things on social media to make sure they are picked up by the algorithm.

I use tumblr bc that’s exhausting and often futile, a never ending hamster wheel of trying to guess what words to use or when to post to make sure you’ll get picked up… and generally if you’re new or small or niche you will NEVER get picked up.

Stop

Fucking

Trying

To

Make

Tumblr

Like

Instagram or Facebook or Twitter

It’s survived so long largely because it is NOT like any of those sites.

I know it’s why I’ve been here, even when y’all majorly fucked the user experience by changing the navigation.

I get you wanna make this site more profitable. I do. But an algorithm system is NOT what this site needs.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[the-duckless-pond]

maybe triggering? At the beginning

Well, I ordered first aid supplies. It’ll be here Monday. So I guess that settles that. I’m really doing this again. What a fucking mess.

But I can’t deny that it is seeming to help. I mean, it’s like my old therapist told me - you wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work. I guess I should probably feel bad about relapsing but I just… feel nothing about it. It feels unsurprising and unremarkable considering the summer I have had and what has happened. It feels like the natural conclusion of such events.

I guess on the bright side now I’ll have some inspiration for when I end up getting back to Happenstance. So at least some good will come out of this. Perhaps I wrote Shepard in the most recent chapter as being too willing to go deep, when I am now recalling that mostly you are just upset and afraid and searching for a solution. Not that I would classify anything I’ve done these past few days as being more than chicken scratches, but still the point stands and that is helpful to my process.

Anyway, here’s the rest of the update. My sweets arrived right on time and were very nice. I had the cannoli right away and really enjoyed it, and just now had the macaron to tide me over until dinner since I guess my mom for some reason wants to include me? No clue why. But so I needed a little something. I have other light snacks if I need something else. All that is left is the cheesecake now, and I kind of want to save that for tomorrow. I’m sure it will still be good tomorrow, right?

Also I guess I should probably be putting my self harm diary entries on my mental illness blog. I don’t care about naming it here. It’s @borderline-reorder and I post much the same diary bullshit.

I guess I’ll do that so I’m not triggering anyone here. I would feel awful if someone saw it and relapsed. It’s just that I don’t have anyone to talk to and I need somewhere to vent, you know?

I guess I’ll reblog this on my mental illness blog and start putting my more triggering stuff there.

I don’t want to see my mom tonight. I was waiting for a package delivery to the old place and I was just going to sneak in and out and grab things and no one would know I was there and I was going to be invisible so that I don’t have to listen to another rant about how much she hates everything but can’t (or won’t imo) do anything to change anything. It was going to be great.

But then she texted me saying that she wants to include me in dinner plans? And is being nice and saying that I don’t have to go with them, they’ll bring something back for me? I don’t get it. And then she kept going and said she could pick me up and we could get sodas and my packages all in one go and it would be great okay see you then. So I guess I was voluntold for this and now I don’t have a choice. Sigh. At least it’ll be fast. I hope it’s fast. I don’t have the energy to stand up to her today.

So yeah. I’m just kind of waiting for that to all happen to me. I did download some new games today that I’m hoping to play tonight. I’m in the living room now but last I was in the office maybe 10 min ago the first one had 20 min left. Crime scene cleaner! It looked funny and relaxing enough. I intend to play that one tonight.

I know I need to get serious about my sleep schedule otherwise I am fucked come my 9am class on Monday, but I am actually having a decent enough evening after hurting myself and thus fixing things this afternoon, and I kind of want to enjoy it. It’s Friday. I might as well. I say that now but I’ll be pissed in the morning when I inevitably sleep through the alarm I’ve been setting to try and get on track. I even looked today to see if any of the classes late in the day were open and none of them were. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll drop it and take it as a summer class. That way I have something to do in the summer to avoid being depressed, less school stress while I adjust to Boo’s health issues, and I can slowly fix my sleep schedule as an ongoing process. That’s probably the smartest way to go about it. Mom is helping with what my loans didn’t cover (about 1k, mostly from this class) so I’ll have to run it by her. I guess I’ll do that tonight and make a decision tonight. Drop or stay drop or stay. I want to drop.

Actually, fuck it. I’m just going to drop it. I can focus more on my major and minor classes that way, mom saves money, and my sleep (which is fucked ever since Boo was diagnosed) can slowly return to normal instead of rush and stress. I’ll take it as a summer class.