#I guess it's fine for just fun and games but like. idk. idk.
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I know hex said she didn't expect anything for the vector graphics I used in breaking stasis but that just didn't sit right with me... I know I've literally said those words as well years before when I was in a similar situation and like. I did mind. a little bit. you know. and I think I care more about maintaining a good relationship with her than saving this handful of money that won't even matter that much later on
#just thinking thoughts...#AND I JUST??? LOVE HER ART SO MUCH...#and like... I'm still sad abt my like. not really a falling out but like. idk. we've never been as close as we used to be...#honestly relieved they aren't really doing content creation anymore as far as I know#I guess it's fine for just fun and games but like. idk. idk.#I think like. it's fine if like you're like hey I need help with something#let's all hang out and like. punch holes in my merch or whatever#and you treat them to something nice but it's mostly a friend hangout and stuff#but things like art and video editing where the other person is just quietly at their desk doing work for you somewhere far away#you're not even keeping them company... you're not even showing that you're putting the same amount of time in.#IDK! ! ! !
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Hiiiiii
I’m so curious about wip 1
Also I have like over a hundred wips and I can’t believe you did this to me 😭😭 /j
hey, you're welcome 😚🫴💕 i can't wait to see all your 100+ wips!
ooh I've had number 1 (a lot can change in a month) percolating for a while now and I've never been sure how far I want to go with it. I have pretty much all of it mapped out and it has the most bittersweet ending that I can't wait to write 😇✨ - anyway, have a wee little snippet :)
———
A month.
That's how long Danny Fenton had made his home with the Waynes before finding out his adoptive family's secret. The cave beneath the manor. Their hidden lives as vigilantes.
It was... a surprise, to say the least. One that he hadn't quite welcomed.
It threw him off, of course it did. This was meant to be his chance at living a normal life, a chance to leave behind his own heroics buried in the ruins of Amity, and then he had to go ahead and shack up with the birds and the bats, of all people! He just can't catch a break!
But... Well, after several tearful conversations and reassurances that no, he categorically did not have to join the team (thank the Ancients, because there's no way Danny's telling them about Phantom, not yet), things were starting to look pretty alright. The dust was finally settling and it felt like he was beginning to find his feet again.
That was last week.
This week, Bruce Wayne is dead and the family is falling apart.
#dpxdc#wip game#so you might have guessed but this is a 'danny and tim go on a time adventure to save bruce' fic!#and i've been struggling with whether to have danny and tim go off to the league of shadows for ra's help or not?#i know that's what tim did in canon and i kinda want to do it to have some fun danny and tim interactions#but that might make the fic too long and like... idk i don't really know much about what happens during that arc#anyway i just really wanted to do a little scene where tim and dick are fighting and danny hops in like 'you think bruce is stuck in time?#well then let's get going i know a guy who knows a guy this'll be fine!!!'#dick thinks the delusions are catching and tim... thinks maybe the delusions are catching. well he knows he's right about this but danny?#that guy can't be mentally sound what the hell is he on about?
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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I genuinely think people would have a better time with stuff of they just stopped holding everything to super high and impossible expectations and then get disappointed when this very-specific-thing-they-wanted didn't happen.
Like just enjoy the ride. Go in with "imma have a good time" and amazingly you'll probably have a good time and if not it'll be a better time than if you didn't.
Be here now.
#this isn't about disappointment#its fine to be disappointed#this is about headcanons or expectations warping reality and making people upset when their 87 point checklist didn't happen in like#a show or something#like just... have fun??? i guess????#been seeing more of this recently#“but they didn't do ANY of what i theorized based off of absolutely no evidence other than one (1) thing that was already explained away”#“how could that thing explained away NOT be the thing i wanted how could they throw it away???”#like idk man i'm just here having a good time maybe if you calm down you can have one too#this applied to everything btw#“i bet the next pokemon game will be in THIS AREA of the world cause the wife of the ceo's brother's best friend's cousin went there!”#“oh no!!!!!! its set in [area here] how could they betray me like this!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?” this is what some of y'all sound like please chill#maybe i'm just old and enjoyed fandom and shit pre internet but good gd#and again#NOT about disappointment this is another thing entirely
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what the everliving fuck? did i do so wrong? i tried difficulty ONE of swarm disaster, says for team lvl 66, i took in 4 80s, and on the second stage kafka pasted my entire party?? (trl phys, qq, dhil, and luocha). i just...that is the literal BEGINNING after the tutorial?? what the fuck? how did i fuck up so *badly*
#i was trying path remembrance and it seemed to be doing fine?#and then everything just fucking blew up in my face?#if i can't get through baby level one how am i supposed to finish one chapter much less 13??#god i hate sim univ shit anyway#i literally said on their survey they have us spending too much time in it#so we get this massive sprawling event that looks overwhelming as fuck and was intimidating me all day#as i read on literally every social media i use people boggling at being party wiped but at least mid-high lvls#not shitty baby level like i just did?#and it's literally jam all the sim universe to the extreme down your throat like you hate sim universe well bend over and take it#am i going to have to lose out on this whole event?#i'm already behind everyone else so badly like i'm so far behind on getting my whole crew to max lvl and shit#but i've been working on relics and on light cones and i took in four of my good people?#i guess i just suck ass that bad goddamn#i love this game but wow idk maybe it's telling me i'm not good enough#sorry just wow my confidence just nosedived to negative digits and i feel discouraged as fuck and a game is supposed to be fun#and this is NOT fun#and i'm going to have to force myself to do it and it's going to take so much time#fuck#i still have to do another regular sim univ for the week too#i hate this T__T i'm never going to finish in a month
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#not to like. vent or anything#but i feel kind of out of place here bc i havent been able to finish the game yet#and cant be here bc i dont wanna see spoilers#idk not to sound like im fishing for attention bc im rlly not i just. kinda need to say it ??#i feel forgettable here. and thats fine !! i love seeing ppl have fun !!#its just. i cant participate in it and I Feel Weird and thats no one's responsibility#* ❄️彡 𝐨𝐨𝐜. : ———— mothers and fuckers of the jury .#negative //#vent //#I Guess#i just. dont rlly want anyone feeling bad bc of this u know !!! its my silly brain problems !!!
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playing baldurs gaye 3, found out I can make the guys naked, so i made them naked
#baldur's gate 3#gay#idk#btw#im such console gamer i tried playing the game with kbm and im like ughh this feels like work#then i plug in my controller and statt having fun lol#even though its clunky asf#i dont really like the wheel hotbar#why cant it just be a skill list or smth like that#like old console rpgs#also i accidentally set my masc deep voicsd hairy dwarf into female so everyone calls me lady and maam lol#thats kind of a canon thing right? on dnd i mean? so i guess its fine lol
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gotta get off the internet and only interact irl with people who were 30 before they got their shit together i cant keep doing it like this
#like this being. feeling like i have no future and nobody likes me#‘youre only 19’ only goes so far when i dont know any other fail 19 year olds#im not gonna be a damn dentist for sure but like. and ive said this a thousand times. what am i gonna do. i cant live a worthless nothing#life where i work a shitty job i hate. i have to like something#i hate my art. i hate my lack of creativity. my art is so bland i just dont think its in me anymore#i finished. and i hate it#i have other hobbies. i like to cross stitch. i like to sew. i like to paint. i like to make dolls. do you see the common theme here#i have a few more than that i technically could do but i cant create anymore and it kills me. i want to. i constantly want to but i cant#it doesnt help that even if i havw ideas i dont even want to do them#i was gonna draw some characters from a game i played when i was little but i just#didnt want to. at no point did it not feel like a chore#ill try to go to new mediums! its fun to mess around and then itll feel boring again and going back doesnt feel any better#idk. googling it is useless. ive tried all the things. for years. ive been TRYING to draw consistently and like. doodles are fine theyre fu#but theyre not what i want to do i want to make something im proud of. i drew almost every single day for like 2 years#and its not burnout bc its been like. 2 more years! and ive barely wanted to at all!!!#i want to be creative and i also want people to recognize it. different complaint but it sucks so bad#i feel like nobody likes me. still. nobody cares about what i do. nobody would care if i stopped#like except me but i can only support myself so far!!!! im so tired of it!!!! someone PLEASE be here for me and just say ‘hey i love this#drawing :)’ like you have no idea what that would do for me#not always. but yknow especially if its been a while. if you like it. if you dont like it :( idk. you should tell me that too i guess#yknow so i can have some confirmation so i dont feel like im crazy. idk. dont actually id never go online again. i would probably. well.#i dont like to say the words#simons spouting#vent :(
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had been planning to do some dale art since tomorrow is. his day. but oops (laura mode)
#libra.txt#like. did the lineart for the idea i had for him (family photo with his parents + mr rabbit)#but then got laura brain#and to be fair this laura art is coming along REALLY WELL#especially for my right shoulder now cramping. lol. haha. aaa#oh well. when have i ever gotten things done right for rusty lake#accidentally got back into it in october but didn't participate in laketober. now it's dale's bday and i haven't drawn any fun dale art#(which is fine tbh bc i don't celebrate birthdays and don't want to give an impression that i would)#idk. whatever#laura my beloved.......#for as much as i didn't care for underground blossom and don't particularly like paradox i really like laura#seasons is a good game!!#and seeing her in bob's dreams in the white door! interesting!!!#i want to know more abt laura. underground blossom was fun but unfulfilling tbh#we know so little abt her!!!!!#okay so she's Depression Barbie(tm) but like. who is she!!!!!!#i mean i guess i can't really expect rusty lake to give us much#like.... none of the female characters are treated particularly well....#rose kinda skates through but even her game was focused on albert instead!#doesn't matter. just means i can have as much fun as i want in the sandbox (my brain)
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The eternal struggle between wanting to hire the bounty hunter because hnnng sexy and huge combo/mark damage vs like, actually wanting to profit off this expedition
#I'm very bad at Darkest Dungeon 2#That boy carried me through the like one zone I made it through#before everybody died to the black and silver armor guys with their dumb dual lightning rods#idk why the Moonlit Dungeon lookin dudes are such a brick wall for me tbh#like the adventure's going fine and then one encounter with them and everyone's dead#though I also haven't played DD2 much so like idk maybe I just haven't found the right way to fight them yet#I've had it for a while and Darkest Dungeon 1 gave me MASSIVE brainrot but like#idk I guess like#Darkest Dungeon 2 has the same curse as Dark Souls 2 for me it seems#in that I play it once go ''oh man that was pretty fun'' and then forget about it for several months#until I pick it back up get super obsessed for like two days and then forget and the cycle persists ad infinitum#the curse of Cool-Fantasy-Game-With-2-In-The-Title lives on I guess#Pun's text Posts#... idk though maybe it would change if they added back either of the two characters who were My Fuckign Boy in the last game#but Red Hook seems pretty vocal about one of them not coming back
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i feel like trav is stuck being stern company head guy now and i lowkey hate that for him because he’s always come off as so easily embarrassed, which, like, is fun and cute in the sense of him hiding behind his shirt when he blushes or snorts or wears his glasses but like
he’s also an unhinged chaos goober
and i miss him getting to be more of a goober just
whenever the fuck
#does this make sense? this feels incoherent#idk i've just always gotten the vibe of the dude who cant like FULLY cast off the stereotype#and his dont give a fuck moments were always great#and i know he was the hold out on going public with their game originally bc he didnt want the vibes ruined#and thats why im kinda glad hes bossman bc hes protective of that but also like#it def comes with being the face and like idk#IDK IF THIS MAKES SENSE#I DONT KNOW HIM IM SURE HES FINE#I JUST HOPE HE STILL HAS FUN IS WHAT IM SAYING I GUESS IDK
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new 2d sonic games coming out this fall apperently ?
#not sure how to feel abt it just watched the trailer. im a modern 'classic sonic' hater sorry.#it just doesnt quite capture what i enjoy abt the og games as well as stuff like advance and rush does (well those more take that and build#it up into its own thing (rush especially) but whatever. it still carries on some general things i enjoy about classic sonic design and#all the more recent stuff ive played has not really been my thing. idk what physics engine theyre using but if its the retro engine i will#probably not like it that shit messes with my muscle memory so bad im sorry. i dont like it i wish i did#also the general visual design/art direction just isnt my thing! im not into that kinda stuff ive always disliked it to an extent#ESPECIALLY in 2d it feels very visually overwhelming but that is probably just a me thing.#also idk if the sound design in the trailer reflects what the game is going to sound like but.did not like it . again a personal preference#so i guess im leaning kinda negative overall MAN i hate that . why am i like this lol sorry#i love sonic games i really do but i just Do Not care for the Big Stuff theyve been doing lately it isntreally my thing#the older stuff just plays to my tastes better u_u#also another thing classic sonic gameplay w 3d models has always felt so ? stilted?#rush doesnt count its its own beast. stilted is probbaly The last thing id use to describe its presentation LMAO#but like. all the sonic generations onwards stuff just feels Weird to look at theres no realkick to it. hell i feel like this abt a few#other 2.5d games that are. 2.5d in the visual sense.it just doesnt click right in a lot of cases#so what im syaing is . 3d bad 2d good /JOKE#the multiplayer seems interesting wonder how thats gonna be handled. also im guessing amy plays how she does in origins here#not sure how she plays there but i m glad to actually see her playable in more stuff! i hope her playstyle is similar to her advance 1#gameplay i love that shit so much geneuinely. its a lot of fun to mess around w#i wanna say im sure the game will be fine but also..... its sonic......... theyre always gonna figure out some way to fuck shit up#<- i say that somewhat lovingly but also it is pretty frustrating since most of it does stem from management issues and time crunch. sigh#okay im just rambling abt sonic nonsense now sorry. i try not to get too invested in everything anymore it was really draining when i was#actively trying to keep up w everything but sometimes smthn comes upand my brain goes back into Sonic Mode /silly#inquisitivewaltz.txt#oh god these tags are so long. im so sorry hgfdhsjgfdhs
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I have a few things to say about the direct but they're all overshadowed by the announcement of a sequel(?) to one of my favourite games of all time, Fantasy Life for the 3ds, that looks soul crushingly disappointing. My disappointment is immeasurable and my direct is ruined.
#why does it look like animal crossing what have you DONE!!!#look how they massacred my boy#i'm miserable desolate and inconsolable how could this happen to me#that aside really dlc heavy direct huh#like the fire emblem dlc... i haven't bought it yet it'll depend on how much extra story they add in wave 4#splatoon dlc is... fine i guess um#i wish it wasn't split in half AND the first half is just a cosmetic swap for the square#like YEAH i like inkopolis WAY more then splatsville but not enough to pay for juuuust that y'know#Marina backstory is interesting but... hopefully theres more then just that I'm not overly invested in her past tbh#uuuhhhh what else GBA games fucking FINALLY but it's expansion pass only pain and suffering on planet earth#idk if i wanna play fe7(6? idk which one that was and i don't wanna go check) that badly to give them the extra dough....#if they add more fe games though or god forbid pokemon ones I will succumb 100% sorry#wish they'd just sell them to me though orz#in terms of new games the only one that stuck out to me was... Fashion Dreamer i think was the title? looks fun can't wait to try it#nintendo#snow blogging
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I'm like being a host to my mom's friend's grandkid today, and it's been fine and all he wants to really do is be in his own little world on his phone, but I'm like, there isn't anything you'd like to do?
Go to a museum? Get ice cream or something?
#which is fine I guess#but I want him to have a bit of fun other than just being on his phone idk#he likes fps games which I'm like ofc you do kid#idk I'm just trying to be a good host#personal#just seems like a waste of a trip if he's just gonna be on his phone ignoring people the whole time#but if it's what he wants to do...#I mean I'm not his parent
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HATE. When I start Longing for a specific Pokemon but I really don't care about any of the games it's appeared in. Like. Deep desperate urge to shiny hunt a Pumpkaboo, I've wanted one for years, I want it SO BADLY, maybe even enough that I want to start a new save and have one on my team, that would be so cool. However, due to online being shut down I can't justify losing what little Friend Safaris I have (they stay in your Friends List ofc, but you'll be locked out of the third Pokemon on a new save), and also. Just don't care about X and Y. And then there's Galar. Pretty game. No substance. To me anyway. Lost interest as soon as I beat the main story. And like, I Guess there's SuMo/Ultras, but I'd have to transfer one in.... and idk if you can even do that at this point.
#just. complaining. lmfao#i can't ever commit to revisiting alola too for some reason. it was just so important to me in such a specific time of my life#that every time i've tried to go back. i can't.#i'm also just split of starting a new PMD run again like. i want Something. idk what.#and like i guess i can just shiny hunt without making a big deal out of it. but i WANT. i'm ACHING#like could you imagine... a team w pumpkaboo and mimikyu...... that would be so cutes.....#mimikyu is postgame in sw/sh so. i'd have to trade one over. but tbh that feels not so bad#like. one thing about me is i love prepping extremely specific pokemon teams. just to feel something.#and then more than likely i'll abandon them halfway through but hey. maybe i'll return. eventually.#if pumpkaboo was in scar/vio it would literally be fine. i would be doing that right the fuck now.#sw/sh vs scar/vi is so funny like. one is an extremely good looking well polished put together game#that does absolutely nothing for me. it lacks so much substance to me.#and the other is just. it needed so much more time in the oven. but it means EVERYTHING to me#and it's endlessly fun to just fuck around in. i cannot explain why. enrichment.
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Hm. I am getting the distinct feeling that either revanced broke or some apps are doing smth real shitty
#rat rambles#anyways guess who's youtube completely stopped working#It's fine I can watch on browser but it's still very annoying#And the tumblr thing is even more annoying hense why I've been like completely off of tumblr recently#Maybe the universe is telling me to take an Internet break but like I have just been starting to feel a bit better#My family got a new dog the other day btw not relevant to the rest of this post but her name is karla and she's a very anxious doggy#I'm just waiting for laundry rn so that's why I'm posting at all lol#Might have to switch to posting from my laptop soon if things don't get unfucked#Which wouldnt be the end of the world but sure as hell would be annoying#Idk maybe it'll motivate me to finally make a proper blog theme#Idk what Id do for a blog theme tho tbh#An oni theme would be rly fun but it would also probably age poorly (as in the second I get into smth new)#So maybe an oc theme?#That could be fun#Not sure what characters Id use but maybe mascot and/or midas#Idk but chances of me actually doing it anytime soon are slim#Rly if I'm gonna customize anything more it's gonna be my toyhouse page#Oh also good news I'm going to do a pet sitting job for my aunt and uncle at some point#It'll be like 3 weeks I think and I'll be getting paid 700 buckeroos if I'm remembering correctly#I already have a lot of thoughts of how I'm going to spend it even if I should probably try to save at least some of it#There's just a lot of ppl who could use that money more and better than me and I don't wanna be stingy during times like this#I have also might buy like a new game since I've been interested in playing smth new#There has been one game I've been eyeing for a while and I have a mutual who likes it a lot but idk if I'm ready for new blorbos yet#But oldie or whatever her name was calls to me. She tempts me so#I'm open to other game recommendations tho just know that I'm gonna be picky on more story heavy games#Again I'm not exactly on the hunt for new blorbos rn and getting new story hyperfixations is scary to me lol
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