#I guess I'm faking it till I make it?
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crimsonblackrose · 11 days ago
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I think I usually view myself as the nervous cheetah in the enclosure in need of a buddy golden retriever. But my boss essentially just told me I'm doing great and she's hoping I rub off on one of my nervous coworkers so she's scheming ways for me to work with that coworker. I.e. I'm the golden retriever.
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mcalhenwrites · 5 months ago
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Still alive, writing and editing a lot and even drawing (mostly dragon sketches at work). Seasons has some new chapters now... I saw something earlier about writing being something you can hone by doing lots of reading and writing. I wonder when that will apply to me. I've read a lot of books this year. I have almost hit my goal of 90 books, and while a couple are nonfiction and half are comics, the rest are novels. I expect that to increase again, now that I'm going back to the library. (I stopped with the bed bug scare.) Then I'm setting aside time each week to write. I work on stories at work, even if it's mostly just planning. (My laptop is falling apart so I just gave up taking it to work.) Yet here I am, still the same idiot who doesn't have anything appealing enough for most people to read. I can't get 99% of my followers interested. Sales of Geckos have dropped to next-to-nothing. Nothing else I put out there matters either. The fault lies with me. I'm not good enough. After having this stupid blog for 12 years, I want to delete it. I want to delete my twitter account. I want to delete every single account and shut up for good. There is nothing I can offer. My writing is a good hobby for me. I can get pats on the head for doing a little thing for myself. Aww, look at the cute little dumbass adult doing wittle storwies!!! Isn't that silly!!! They're not good, but he's having fun during the process. Too bad he hasn't figured out that not even 39 more years of practice can save what he's handing out.
#people lied about “once you have confidence nothing can take it away”#nah that shit can get killed when you're a fucking pitiful fool like me!#until the day when I actually make something that's important to anyone this is just me being a child-brained idiot scribbling words down#I used to think I was semi-decent... I did before Rascal but figured Rascal was inferior to my usual work#Then I felt bad about my writing bc of discouragement and locked my work up#felt a surge of confidence a couple of weeks before I started Seasons tho#then had some confidence after that until 2023 (lots of bad shit happened that year)#it evaporated quickly but I tried to maintain some#and now it's just like... me trying to pretend and “fake it till you make it” has never worked for me#but let's be real: the more I showed I liked myself the more bothersome that was for some people I was close to#and it's better to tear me down than lift me up#so I guess the problem is that I just don't belong in the writing world with anyone else#I'll never be good enough and I'm frankly too mentally fucking delayed to have figured it out (like everything else)#hahahahaha people keep telling me I'm autistic and my brother is autistic and my parents refused a diagnosis for me when the Dr mentioned i#and here I am probably too autistic to have ever figured out a damn thing except that I'm pretty good at reading and liking stuff!#but not skilled at anything else#just a reader and worthless as anything else#oh and I guess crocheting but I want none of you to have that part of me ever again
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eddiediaaz · 2 months ago
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acting like i don't care is so hard. maybe i am just too soft for all of it
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poppymadness · 6 months ago
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meh
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ssentimentals · 9 days ago
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prompt: this is reader’s first relationship & she’s just a little unsure of herself & how to be in a relationship?
seungcheol + inexperienced!reader
it's not a big deal. thats what you've been trying to tell yourself since seungcheol became your boyfriend. your very first boyfriend in your very first relationship. it's great, amazing and it's not.a.big.deal. if only your mind was so easy to trick.
'baby?' seungcheol calls over and you turn so quickly, you give yourself a whiplash. he raises one eyebrow at you, frozen with a big bowl full of popcorn in his hands. 'is everything okay?'
you gulp. you're doing a horrible job of not showing your insecurities if seungcheol can tell that something is wrong by standing five feet away. 'everything is fine,' you lie and it sounds so fake that you can't stop yourself from grimacing.
that, of course, only worries seungcheol even more. your boyfriend comes over, carefully placing full bowl on the floor before climbing on the sofa next to you. he doesn't get anywhere in your personal space and instead reaches out to take your hands in his. 'what's wrong?' he asks in such an earnest tone that you feel bad.
you almost want to tell the truth. your mouth almost opens, your tongue almost curves and forms the words that haunt your mind. almost. you draw back, swallowing hard. how can you tell the truth to someone like seungcheol? someone so confident and sure in himself, someone for who this relationship is not anything new; how can he understand you? you know that you're overthinking it. so many people told you that it's not a big deal and you agree, but what can you do if your mind always comes up with hundred and one ways to make you unsure in this whole thing? seungcheol's thumbs caress your skin gently and he waits so patiently for your answer that it makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. it also serves a good reminder - this is seungcheol. same seungcheol who held your bag and chaperoned you to every single class. same seungcheol who memorized your food allergies and favorite snacks, always checking labels of everything for any allergens and surprising you with sweets whenever you're least expected them. same seungcheol who took his time to know you, kept respectable distance till you got comfortable, waited for you to develop feelings for him as well. same seungcheol who looked the happiest when you agreed to be his girlfriend. it's the same seungcheol and you breathe out, willing your whole body to release the tension you've been holding.
'it might be a bit stupid, you warn, biting your lower lip.
seungcheol shakes his head. 'it's not, it won't be. share with me, baby. i can help, i promise. and if not then it at least will feel good to get this thing out of your chest.'
you smile. somehow he always knows what to say to make you at ease. 'i'm just worried, i guess.' you let out slowly, being careful with words. seungcheol nods, urging you to continue. 'like- ugh.'
it's unexpectedly hard. how do you tell him that being in relationship for the first time makes you nervous? that even during simple movie night you feel unsure on how to act? that your mind is clouded with 'what should i do' and 'am i suppose to do this' more often than you'd like to admit it? in the end, what ends up coming out of your mouth is: 'you're my first boyfriend and i'm just worried about... this.'
seungcheol waits for a little but when it becomes clear that you're not going to elaborate, he carefully asks: 'i'm not making you uncomfortable, am i?'
you shake your head, gripping his hands. 'no-no, cheollie. you don't.'
'alright,' seungcheol sighs in relief. 'but if i do - please tell me, okay? this is new for me too, i need to know if my actions somehow upset you. it's not going to work without a good communication.'
you blink. this is new for me too leaves you breathless. god. of course it's new for seungcheol too - he never dated you. you are a new person and it's new for him too, he doesn't know everything about you. he is also in this for the first time with you and this realisation makes you want to laugh. 'i had the most ridicilous thoughts,' you confess, chuckling a little. 'like- like how i can be good girlfriend.'
seungcheol looks so confused and baffled that this time you laugh for real, letting your head fall forward on his shoulder. 'are you serious? babe, looks at me. c'mon, show me your pretty face.' he makes you look up, cradling your face in his hands. 'are you serious?' when you nod shyly, he groans. 'oh my god. what on earth- baby. i am with you. i am dating you. we are together. i am so happy, why are you even thinking about this?'
you blush under his stare. 'cause you know that this is very new for me, i don't want to fuck up or something like that.'
'just be yourself.' seungcheol says it with so much conviction that you don't doubt his sincerity. 'just be you, i fell for you, i don't need anything else. we will move on your pace, don't worry about it. you can do whatever you want to do, act however you like - just be you.'
it takes a gigantic effort from you to not cry. you hug him tight and seungcheol hugs you even tighter right back, plastering himself all over you and leaving tiny kisses on your shoulder and head. his words fill you with so much warmth and relief, you sag in his arms. 'thank you,' you mumble.
'you don't have to thank me,' seungcheol whispers. 'just be you and you'll be the best girlfriend on this planet.'
it's cheesy and it makes you giggle and feel all of the butterflies in your stomach. you kiss his cheeks, sighing happily. 'okay.'
seungcheol smiles, caressing your back lovingly. he lets you two enjoy this moment, only pulling back when you move. 'now let's go back to our movie night, yeah?'
you nod. 'cuddle?' you ask shyly.
seungcheol's answering grin is blinding. 'of course, princess.'
a/n: is it very obvious that seungcheol is in my top3 of the members to write for? :') hope you enjoyed this one! - nini
my other seventeen works are HERE
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mammons-lover · 1 month ago
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Prank Gone Pregnant [Happy New Years!]
MC (grinning mischievously at Mammon's camera): Hey guys, welcome back! Today, I’m going to prank my boyfriend by pretending to break up with him. Let’s see how hard he panics. Spoiler: It’s Mammon, so… a lot. Let’s do this.
MC (fake sniffling, eyes cast down): Mammon, sweetie…
Mammon (striding over dramatically, already looking concerned): Yeah, babe? What’s wrong? You okay?
MC (turning their head away to stifle a laugh, voice trembling for effect): I think… it’s time we break—
Mammon (interrupting with wide eyes, completely serious): I’m pregnant.
MC (now genuinely stunned, blinking): Wait. What?
Mammon (doubling down like his life depends on it, hand over his heart): Yeah, you heard me. Pregnant. Bun in the oven. Lil’ Mammon Jr. on the way.
MC (trying not to lose it, but also trying to keep it logical): Mammon, that’s literally not possible. You’re a—
Mammon (jumping to his feet, hands on hips, voice dripping with indignation): Oh, so now you don’t want OUR baby?!
MC (deadpan): You’re male!
Mammon (scoffing like this is the least of their concerns): And I’m also a demon, something ya didn’t even know existed till you landed here! Maybe you need to stop slackin’ in bio class, MC!
MC (completely breaking character, laughing): Oh my god, I love you, babe. And I love how far you’re willing to go to keep me, but—
Mammon (dropping to his knees mid-sentence, clutching at MC’s hands dramatically): Please don’t leave me! I’ll DIE! I’ll do anything! Beg, grovel, get a second job, whatever you want!
MC (still giggling): Mammon! Let me finish! I was gonna say it’s a prank!
Mammon (pausing, looking betrayed): A PRANK?! You got me cryin’ over here for a PRANK?!
MC (trying to hold in laughter, patting his shoulder): I’m sorry, but once you hit me with the ‘I’m pregnant’, I had to see this through!
Mammon (standing dramatically, wiping his tears): Well, guess what? You’re not sleepin’ in my bed tonight. And we’re OVER.
MC (mock-pouting): Aw, c’mon, Mammon, don’t be like that—
Mammon (cutting them off immediately, arms crossed but already relenting): No, wait, I take it back. We ain’t over. But I’m still mad. You’re on thin ice!
MC (grinning): I’ll make it up to you with snacks?
Mammon (grumbling, but already caving): …Fine. But only ‘cause I’m pregnant and I need to eat for two!
(Enter Leviathan, standing nearby with headphones half-off, looking completely bewildered as he stares after them.)
Leviathan: Wait. WHAT THE FUCK?! Mammon’s PREGNANT?!
Mammon (yelling back over his shoulder): Yeah, Levi! Start plannin’ the baby shower!
Leviathan (suddenly panicking, pacing): Oh my daivolo, I’m gonna be an uncle! We need to babyproof the house! There’s sharp corners everywhere, and that stair railing is a death trap! Do demons even have car seats?! Someone get me a checklist—WHERE’S THE CHECKLIST?!
{Haven’t posted any fics lately? Uhh… do we even call these fics? 🤔 Who knows! Anyway, I seriously miss making them, but college is not what I expected (first semester, woo-hoo! 🥲) and, uh… I'm definitely failing three classes. BUT!! I’ve figured out how to balance college and life, so next semester is gonna be great!. I miss writing, though, so you better believe more is coming soon! Stay tuned, besties!}
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dollfacefantasy · 7 months ago
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make up sex w/ billy butcher ♡
billy butcher x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, daddy kink a/n: eeeee i'm so excited for the last episode
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Weeks of torture lead to this. Almost a month of clipped tones and cold stares, fake smiles and pushing the line between love and hate. It all leads to nights like tonight. They were why you put up with all of it.
You and Butcher had a fight a couple weeks ago. It wasn't relationship ending, but it was more tense than most. Strained the two of you enough that the rest of the team could tell something was up.
But right now, you couldn't even remember what the disagreement had been about. Something with some recon assignment - he should've done this, or you should've been somewhere. It was currently lost in your mind because it was hard to care about anything else when the swollen tip of his cock was nudging against all the right spots inside you.
He had you on your back in his bed, his arms hooked behind your knees to keep you in place. You had your arms around his neck the best you could. You wanted him as close as possible. As much as he'd pissed you off, you really did miss him.
You missed the soft, syrupy headspace he could coax you into. The one that made you look at him like he hung the moon and stars and sculpted all the earth's mountains. The one you were in at this moment.
"Daddyyyyy," you whine for him, your arms closing tighter over his shoulders.
A breathy groan rumbles against your neck. It made him feel so fucking pathetic, but every time you said that it was like a spool of ribbon unraveled in his belly. The words that follow don't even feel like his own. It's like they've been carved into his consciousness by some divine being that ensures your pussy never strays too far from him.
"Daddy's here, baby. Daddy's right here. He's taking care of you."
Those mumbled reassurances have your walls constricting around him, trying to lure him further in and then lock him down there forever. He feels your thighs trembling so hard against his sides that they're practically vibrating. You needed this.
"Fuck, you're gonna push me out. Too fucking tight," he grunts.
"Nuh uh, daddy's too fucking big," you laugh and nudge the side of his head with your nose.
He glances over at you, chuckling at your dopey smile. His mouth lands on yours for a sloppy kiss. Your lips slide against one another with the momentum of his thrusts.
"Yeah? Or is flattery how you apologize, love?" he teases.
That gets a laugh out of you. "It's not flattery if it's true."
Your giggles are cut short by more of your own moaning, the sweet bursts of joy morphing into whiny cries. You try to roll your hips up to meet his pelvis, to get him even deeper, to get more friction on your throbbing clit.
If you were more lucid, you'd feel how smug he was oozing off of him. He took great pride in the fact that he could get you like this. That he could take you, totally capable and independent, and fuck you till you were whimpering daddy and rutting against him like it was all you were good for.
"You want it bad, don't you? I could probably sit still and let you just fuck yourself on my cock and get the same feeling," he murmurs.
That earns him a wild head shake from you. "Noooo," you plead, "Not the same as when daddy does it."
"Oh, not the same, hm?" he mocks, "Guess I have to keep going then. Can't leave you unsatisfied."
Your head bobs up and down as you nod. You were getting so close. It'd be plain cruel to tease you like that now. He was getting close too. The pulsating warmth of your hole was too much for him to resist much longer.
"Where do you want it, baby?" he asks mid-pump.
"Inside, daddy. Pretty pretty please. Need it inside," you beg automatically.
He'd have to be evil not to give you a creampie right now. Not after the weeks you spent abstaining from his cock. No, tonight you needed his load shot deep in your cunt.
"My girl," he coos and pecks your temple, "You need the reminder of who you belong to."
You nod eagerly. You needed the physical manifestation of the end of this fight. The ropes of his cum fired inside you would seal the deal.
So that's what he does. You squeal, and your entire body contracts as the bubble of euphoria inside you pops. Your hands scramble to grab at him.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy. Fuck, fuck, fuck," pours from your lips.
He strengthens his hold on you, presses you down so hard into the mattress that it's shocking the wood doesn't snap. He chokes out a loud groan and unloads himself inside you. His hips fuck against you in sharp bursts. His breaths come out in rough pants. As much as he loved what he did to you, what you did to him was a sight to behold as well.
When you've both come down, he rolls off of you. You both get the chance to breathe and cool down, before he tugs you close again and nuzzles the top of your head.
"You feel better now, darling?" he smirks against your hair.
"Mhm," you answer with a dreamy sigh, "Never gonna fight again."
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cxffecoupx · 2 months ago
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our little thing
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chwe hansol + bickering over which christmas movie is superior wc: 672 warnings: vernon being a cutie, gets a little emotional at the end (i think) author's note: todays exam was shit. this was made in a haste. please bear with me (me for the 23456th time). but i kinda like it a little. also basically i've tweaked the prompt a little i guess. but this was the general idea. hope you like it <33 winter wonderland masterlist
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"sol, stop sulking; it's been more than an hour now!"
hansol just huffs once more before crossing his arms across his chest and looking away. you walk over to him to sit beside him.
"it was just a silly debate, non. i didn't even mean it that seriously."
"silly?! you mean to tell me, that movies are silly?!" he mocks a hurt expression before pressing his palm to his chest to drive his point home. you can only roll your eyes at this drama queen of a boyfriend.
two hours ago, vernon posed a question that he explained was 'in the spirit of the holidays'.
"what's your favourite christmas movie?" he asked while you were looking at decoration ideas through pinterest for seungcheol's christmas bash.
you actually had to judge him for that. for asking you that question, when he very well knew the fact that you were: 1) not a movie person, and 2) not a holiday person (two things that emotionally hurts vernon every time you express it, he claims).
so without much thought, you say what could have been the worst answer anyone could ever give to a movie person who likes the holidays:
"i dont know; i never really cared."
vernon swears he heard something break into a million pieces at that moment. if he were half as dramatic as his best friend seungkwan was, he'd have faked a faint and fell to the floor with his hand to the forehead (you say this in detail because this has happened before - when you answered the same way when he asked what your favourite christmas song was).
you thank whoever is up there that your boyfriend is nonchalant.
but this answer was enough for your stoic boyfriend to pout (a pout!! that you has to resist kissing), and move to the other end of the couch, far away from you, with the same worked up expression as right now.
for a whole two hours, he stayed huffing and puffing across from you.
you try to get him to look at you, but when that doesn't work, you climb onto his lap and hold his face between your hands. his face felt cold to the touch, nose a pretty pink and lips still in a pout.
this time, you don't resist your urge to kiss.
you lean in and press a lingering kiss to his lips. you could feel him melt under you, leaning into you while trying to deepen the connection. when you pull away after some time, he rushes to chase your lips. you place a finger to his.
"sol," you take a breath and continue.
"i've never really celebrated the holidays before. i mean, we did have some quality family time during the meals, of course. but we've never shopped for ornaments, or decorated the tree and put up a star. i've never sat down with them to watch christmas movies."
you smile when you notice his nose become even red, and smooch it.
"so, i've never really found the appeal to it. i'm grateful for all the holidays i've had, i really am. but there are just some things i silently wish for at times."
he takes a deep breath and pulls you in for a hug.
"let me fulfill that wish for you. we're a family, you and i. we can make new traditions, you know? i've watched a lot of holiday movies, we can watch them together ever year. make it special with some wine, or some hot chocolate. some caramel popcorn. a warm blanket around us."
he pauses to smile before going on.
"and you'll fall asleep in the middle of it, but i won't wake you up because then i'll get to have your share of the popcorn too. and i can tease you about it till the next year, when we do more things to tease each other about."
vernon presses a chaste kiss to your lips.
"you and i can slowly make it our little thing, just like you've wanted."
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prompt by @novelbear divider by @adornedwithlight
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r0-boat · 7 months ago
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Feast fit for a king(s)
Whb!Beelzebub x Gn!reader x Bael
Cw: double penetration, over stimulation, mentions of Beel x Bael.
Sorry for the silence for a couple of days This is what I was working on! Aaaa
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You're supposed to be in Abyssos for sightseeing however Beelzebub had other things in mind for you. At a 5 Star hotel in Abyssos famous for luxurious exciting fun and sexual themes It was a hotspot for lovers too 'rest and relax' well they have a little fun whether it be in bed or down at the lobby to gamble, play games and drink till their hearts content.
You were in bed in the nicest suite Beelzebub has gotten, naked as the day you were born Your body sore from the amount of bite marks and bruises Your legs even more so. And there he was the man who did this to you laying in bed smoking a cigarette. It was almost comical how full of energy he was. Hugging into your soft pillow you glanced at him as he reached for a pamphlet with the menu of the food That can be brought up to the room. You would hate that man if he wasn't so darn cute.
Just then the hotel door burst open, guessing that Beel forgot to lock the door You scramble to cover your body while Beelzebub didn't bother He smiled "Bael! What a pleasant surprise!"
There he was the fake king and advisor for Abyssos He was pissed off and exhausted from trying to locate Beel whereabouts he finally got a lead on this location.
"YOU!" He yelled pointing at the king who was now standing out of bed naked with a cat like smirk holding up his hands as he was caught red-handed, looks like he wasn't going to escape this time... "I'VE BEEN LOOKING-" He choked on his words when he saw you peeking out of the blanket your bare chest barely visible. "!! You-! Oh dear I'm-" finally his brain connected the dots both you and his king are naked in bed together He flushed red tearing his eyes away from you. Looking at the scene of his dear friend and normally straight lace subordinate fall apart at the mere sight of your naked body an idea came into his mind.
He knew just how big Bael crush on you was, all demons in Abyssos wanted you but Bael... He had it bad. And what kind of friend would he be if he didn't give him a little 'push'
"come now my dear brother." He said in a sing-song tone a tone that made Bael narrow his eyes. "You didn't miss anything, why don't you come join us?"
Your eyes widen at his suggestion, after he just drilled you into the mattress?!
"Beelzebub!" You silently shrieked to get his attention. You don't even think you could even walk right now how the fuck can you take more?!
But your protest came on deaf ears.
"relax delicious it's not for me" He crawls onto the bed removing the sheets from your hands, he grabs you by the waist lifting you up pressing your back against his chest.
His hands slide under to play with your now naked parts your body still sensitive from your previous actions.
Beelzebub was masturbating you in front of Bael! Bael's looked hesitant but his eyes were trained on you. Bael looked just as hungry as the king of gluttony touching you, Your legs shook threatening to close but he held them still. You wanted to protest, but Beelzebub's skilled fingers was making your mind melt.
"come on, Bael. You must be tired. You came all this way here. Why don't you 'rest'?" His words husky, thick, and smooth like molasses as his fingers continue to play with you, slowly stroking every part of you, occasionally pressing into your hole to tease Bael. Your cute little whimpers as you were too sensitive and tired to hold them back. You can tell the teasing was working, seeing the tight bulge in Bael's pants.
Bael gave in. Demons cannot resist temptation after all; his eyes half, half-lit and full of lust, made your heart leap out of your stomach as he slowly stalked closer to you. Bael took over as Beel stopped touching you. Bael's hands replaced his; his breath was shaky as he lay down to kiss you. His kiss was messy and full of desire, kissing you more and more feverishly as he began ripping off his own clothes, no longer caring about what he was supposed to be doing before; all that mattered was having you right here, right now.
Beel not wanting to be left out on all the fun lean down and kissed your neck. Now with two hands on either side of your legs he holds you open for Bael to lower his head down.
You are falling apart in their arms, Your whole body shuttered, whimpering and moaning as you felt Bael tongue against your hole.
Beel smiled, moving his hands to spread you further apart for his friend to 'eat' you.
One taste, and he was addicted, pressing his entire face against you, eager to tongue fuck you.
"taste good, right?" Beel said Bael could only moan in agreement, not wanting apart from you for even a second.
You thought just Beelzebub's tongue was long. You threw your head back as you felt Bael's tongue begin to worm inside you, long and flexible as it was eager to go deeper.
As if Beelzebub read your mind his voice tickled your ear.
"All demons in Abyssos have long tongues, Long tongues means more to taste."
You came. Bucking your hips against Bael's face as you grab onto his 'crown.' His eyes rolled back as you come on his tongue; it's been so long since he had tasted cum; it's been so long since he had been touched. He couldn't help but cum with you, his horn squirting all over your hand and his cock emptying all over the sheets.
Beel, who had been watching, finally had enough. His cock was twitching against your back, and he needed you. Beelzebub quickly overwhelmed you, not giving you a mere moment of rest before easing his cock inside you. Beel looked over at a cum soaked Bael with a sly smile.
Bael know exactly what he wants.
Bael climbed on top of you, his lips claiming yours once again. You didn't even know what was about to happen to you until you felt his dick press against Beel's and your already stuffed entrance.
"W-wait! Wait! So full! It can't fit!"
You panic trying and failing to form sentences correctly with cock already inside you.
Bael having only one thing on his mind, to be inside of you, couldn't even hear you. As Beel was whispering, "Aww, come on, of course, you can take it. You've been so good taking me. You can have one more cock."
Beel once again used his fingers to stretch you open, helping his best friend ease it inside you.
Beel felt Bael's cock against him, a feeling he hadn't felt in such a long time; his eyes rolled back, trying to hold back from bucking inside you.
How long has it been since Bael had been inside someone? He had forgotten what it felt like for someone to squeeze and milk cock. And now he was filling you up almost completely with His best friend's dick also inside you...
Bael's final threat of self-control, if it wasn't broken, already shattered. Grabbing your hips, he rammed into you. All the stress from paperwork, his carnal feelings about you that he kept so desperately deep inside, and the greedy loss he had to control in favor of running a country finally came to the surface. As he fucked you and Beelzebub, until whimpering moaning mess.
Even Beel could not keep up with his friend. His hands were shaking, his nails digging into your ass as he tried to gain any speed other than pathetically humping, humping, and grinding hard and deep.
Bael has folded you in half, your legs over his shoulders, trying to keep them apart as they threaten to squeeze his head. Your toes curling, you try to move, squirm, buck, and do anything. But you are being held in place, by two men. Sandwiched by two demons, getting treated as nothing more than a sex toy for these two demons.
You already knew what it takes to satisfy Beelzebub now that you have two demons with a voracious sexual appetite. You had no idea how long you would be in this bed.
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seospicybin · 1 year ago
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Felix x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)
Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better. 
But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]
My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]
-
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.
She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.
Guess desperate times reached out to each other.
But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.
Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.
But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.
"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.
She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."
It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.
You have to bring it close to your face to read it.
A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.
"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."
"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."
"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.
Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.
Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?" 
Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"
She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.
"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"
She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"
That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.
It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.
You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.
What's so hard about it anyway? 
-
Wow!
You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.
However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.
Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.
Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.
You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.
Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.
The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.
"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.
You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.
You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.
The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.
By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.
You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.
Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.
You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.
Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.
Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.
You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.
You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.
"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.
You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.
"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.
After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.
A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.
Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.
There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.
-
YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]
-
After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.
Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.
You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.
One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.
Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.
"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.
You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.
"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.
You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"
"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.
"And English," you point out.
He chuckles, "That too!"
"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.
He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."
And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.
"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"
"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.
Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.
"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.
"I play basketball," he answers.
You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.
-
YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.
-
He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...
"What about you?" He asks.
You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.
He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.
"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.
He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"
"Yes, I am."
"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"
You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"
Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.
"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.
He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"
You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.
He laughs, "Why?"
"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.
You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.
"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.
Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.
"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.
You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.
-
YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.
-
The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.
The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.
You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.
"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.
Wow. What a way to impress a woman!
Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret
A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.
Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.
"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.
"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.
You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.
A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.
Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.
So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.
It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.
Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.
You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.
It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.
Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.
You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.
After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.
You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.
It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.
Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.
"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.
Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.
Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.
Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.
You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.
"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.
Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.
Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.
It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.
You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.
You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.
-
YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]
-
Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.
Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.
Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.
"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"
Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."
"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.
"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."
More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.
-
YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?
-
"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."
That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away. 
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.
"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"
"Ugh!"
-
YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]
-
No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.
You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.
"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.
You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.
"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.
Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"
Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"
She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.
Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.
"It's you," he points at you.
You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"
He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."
Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.
However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.
That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...
"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.
"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.
Eyes on the prize.
-
The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.
They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.
It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.
"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.
"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.
It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive. 
"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.
Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"
Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"
You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.
"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.
Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"
-
YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.
-
There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.
That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.
"We're matching!" Jamie says.
You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.
"You look beautiful," he compliments.
You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"
Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.
You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.
"Cheers!"
"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.
The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.
"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.
You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."
He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.
"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.
He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.
"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.
You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."
He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."
It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.
Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.
"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.
He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."
You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.
You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"
"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.
You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.
"Okay, continue..." he allows.
"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.
"Good, yeah?"
"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.
He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."
Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.
"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.
He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"
To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.
"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.
The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.
"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.
The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.
"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.
"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.
Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.
Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.
-
YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]
-
Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.
"Stop!" You mewl at him.
Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.
"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.
"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."
If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.
-
YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.
-
Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.
"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.
"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.
You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."
He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"
You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.
"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.
"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.
His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers. 
"Why not?"
The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."
He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"
-
YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.
-
The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.
You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.
There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.
"Hey, I've been looking for you!"
You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"
She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.
"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.
You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"
Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.
That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.
"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.
She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.
"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.
"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.
After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.
The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.
After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.
You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.
"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.
"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.
It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.
-
Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.
But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.
As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went. 
"So, how's the talk?"
From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.
Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.
"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.
"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.
Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.
"Yeah and?"
"He said he likes someone," she answers.
You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."
"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."
She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.
"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"
"Not sure," she shortly replies.
"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.
Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?
-
The morning alarm is ringing.
They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.
Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.
"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.
Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.
He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.
Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.
-
YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]
-
When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.
You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.
So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.
This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.
"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.
"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.
The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.
"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."
Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.
"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.
Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.
Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."
And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.
"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.
It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.
"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.
Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.
"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.
Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.
"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.
"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.
"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"
"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.
There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.
"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.
"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.
The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.
"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.
Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.
"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.
Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.
"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.
"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.
"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.
You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.
-
YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.
-
"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.
-
YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]
-
It was one hell of a way to start the day.
Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.
What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.
It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.
You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.
"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.
"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.
You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.
"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.
You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.
"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.
"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.
Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.
"You're going to talk to him again right?"
Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.
"Who do you think it is?"
"The one he likes?" You guess.
She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."
"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.
"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.
-
YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.
-
The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.
After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.
"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.
You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"
The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.
"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.
"If you want to," he answers.
He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"
You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.
You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.
"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.
-
YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!
-
The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.
"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.
Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.
"Yes, we are," you finally answer.
Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.
-
YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.
-
It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.
Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.
It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.
However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.
As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.
"Hey," he greets.
It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.
He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.
"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.
You shake your head, "not at all."
It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.
Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.
"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.
"Alright, I guess," you answer.
"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.
He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.
Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.
-
YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.
-
Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.
It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.
"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.
She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"
"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.
Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.
"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.
You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.
You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.
"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.
"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.
-
YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!
-
Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.
"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.
You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.
"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.
"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.
That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.
"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.
You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.
Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"
-
YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]
-
The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.
"Did anyone break any rules last night?"
You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.
"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.
Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.
Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.
"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.
Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.
-
YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.
-
It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.
You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.
He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.
"Need help?"
He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"
You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.
"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.
"Yes," you shortly reply.
He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"
You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"
Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"
You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...
"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.
You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.
"I see," he responds with a smile.
And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.
You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"
He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."
Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"
You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"
-
YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!
-
"Blue looks good on you!"
It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.
"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.
His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.
"I played volleyball in high school," you share.
Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."
You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."
"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.
You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."
Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.
It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.
"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.
"I'd love to," he eagerly says.
Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.
You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.
You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.
"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.
Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.
To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.
-
YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?
-
As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.
You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.
Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.
You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.
"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."
-
YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.
-
"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.
This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.
"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.
Everyone groans in unison.
You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.
"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."
"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.
"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.
"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.
"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."
-
YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.
-
The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.
Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.
You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.
"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.
"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.
The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.
You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.
"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.
You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."
He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.
Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.
-
YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.
-
"We don't need another rule break tonight!"
Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.
At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.
It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.
You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.
You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."
He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]
-
Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.
After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.
God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.
You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.
"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.
Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.
"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."
You hold your breath for the worst outcome.
"Not..."
It's getting harder to breathe now.
"Break any rules!"
Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.
-
YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!
-
Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.
"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."
You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.
"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."
Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.
"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."
Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"
-
YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.
-
After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.
The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.
To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.
"Is everything okay?" You ask.
Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.
You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"
Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.
"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."
You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"
"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.
It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.
"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.
"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.
You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.
"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.
You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.
"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.
You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.
Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.
"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.
Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.
A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.
-
YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]
-
She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.
An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.
Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.
You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.
You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.
"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.
"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.
-
YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.
-
The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.
The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.
He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.
"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.
He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."
You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"
Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."
He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.
"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.
You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"
You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.
He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."
Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.
You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort. 
-
YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]
-
The time for doom is here.
You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.
"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.
Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.
"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.
You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.
"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.
Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.
"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.
"I'm sorry," you apologize.
Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.
"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.
Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."
They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.
"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.
Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.
However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.
-
The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.
Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.
You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.
"Can I talk to you?" He asks.
Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."
You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.
The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.
"Hi," he sweetly greets.
"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.
His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.
"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"
Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."
Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.
"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."
"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.
"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."
Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.
"I like you," he says again.
Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.
-
YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!
-
"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.
Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.
"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.
"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.
"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.
Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.
The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.
This is dangerous. 
"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.
-
YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.
-
"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.
Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"
She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."
He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.
That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.
You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"
"Nah," he coyly answers.
You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"
Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."
You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."
-
YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.
-
It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.
Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.
You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.
His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.
"You okay?" You mouth at her.
"No," she mouths back.
You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.
"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.
"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.
-
YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]
-
The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.
The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.
Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.
"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.
You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"
Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.
"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.
You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.
By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.
You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."
Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.
-
YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]
-
Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.
Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.
Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.
"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.
Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.
"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.
Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.
"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.
-
YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.
-
Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.
"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.
This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.
"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.
The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.
"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."
Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.
"She has selected..."
-
YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]
-
"... Jamie."
The timing is impeccable.
Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.
You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.
You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.
It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.
Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."
How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?
-
YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.
-
Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.
"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.
You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.
"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.
"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.
"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.
You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.
It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.
The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.
Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.
She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.
Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.
Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.
"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.
You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.
As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.
"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.
"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.
You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"
The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.
"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.
Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.
"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.
This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.
"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.
Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.
"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.
Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.
"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.
-
YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]
-
You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.
"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.
His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."
That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.
"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.
-
YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.
-
Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.
You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.
Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.
"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.
You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."
She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."
You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.
You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."
-
YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.
-
If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.
Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.
This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.
But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.
 "How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.
You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.
She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."
You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.
"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.
"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.
-
YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.
-
The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.
You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.
"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"
"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.
Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.
"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"
Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.
"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.
"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.
"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"
Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.
"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.
You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.
It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.
Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.
"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.
-
YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]
-
This is not how you want to start the day.
You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.
"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.
You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.
"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.
"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.
"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.
-
YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]
-
Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.
Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.
You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.
As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.
Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.
"Hello, ladies!"
"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.
Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.
"Y-yes?"
"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.
"Me?" You ask in disbelief.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.
You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.
"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.
Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"
"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.
"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.
"Don't you like him?"
Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"
She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"
You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.
-
YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]
-
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wwooyology · 4 months ago
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Just Friends | L.HS
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「prompt」 : unrequited love 「pairing」 : heeseung x fem!reader 「word count」 : 0.8k
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「synopsis」 : you have had a crush on heeseung for as long as you could remember, but you never told him for the fear of rejection. however, when a rumor goes around that you like him, you have no choice but to lie to keep the peace of your friendship.
「genre」 : angst
「warnings」 : none that I can think of besides that heeseung doesn't like the reader any more than friends
「notes」 : here's another short one, though I'm not entirely happy with it I think I got the emotions and feelings across. I hope you all enjoy nonetheless!!
masterlist ─ navi. ─ angstober list
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As soon as Heeseung caught wind that you may or may not have a crush on him, he started to avoid you like the plague. You’d ask if he could hang out after class, and he’d tell you he was busy. You’d try to sit with him at lunch only to have him tell you he was done, and he’d walk away. You tried to partner with him during a class project like you usually do, but he was quick to tell you that he already had a partner, not giving you another second.
At first, you just brushed it off, but as time went on, you started to worry that something was wrong. Worried, the next day, you went searching for Heeseung’s friend, Jeongin, to try and figure out what was going on.
“Hey Jeongin, do you have a minute?” You asked the blonde as he shut his locker, looking over at you.
“What’s up, y/n?” 
Looking around, you let out a short breath of air. "Is something wrong with Heeseung?” you asked, almost scared to find out the answer. "Like, is he upset with me?”
“Oh.” Jeongin let out a short, nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. However, the action only made you more uneasy.
“What do you mean oh?” You shifted on your feet as you looked up at him, “did something happen?”
“You could say that…” He trailed on before letting out a sigh, “Word around is that you have a crush on him, and I guess he just doesn’t know how to take it.”
You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. How did he figure out that you had a crush on him? You never told anyone but your best friend and no one else because you knew he didn’t feel the same. So you kept it to yourself so as not to ruin the friendship that you shared.
But it seems like that was all out the window now.
You quietly nodded before bidding Jeongin a goodbye when he left for class. It felt like all of the eyes in the world were on you right now as you tried to think of a way to get out of this situation without losing one of your closest friends.
The only thing that came to mind was to talk to Heeseung about it and lie your ass off. Fake it till you make it, as they always say.
Later that day, you managed to grab Heeseung away before he could run from you, pulling him into an empty classroom and turning to look at him.
“What is this y/n? I have to get to practice.” He groaned, reaching for the door, but you were quick to block his path.
“No. Not until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.” You pouted slightly, hiding the hurt in your eyes.
Heeseung looked at you for a moment before letting out a sigh and pinching the bridge of his nose. Turning away from you, he looked out the windows, and you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy by his actions.
The room was silent for a few moments before he turned back around to face you. "You know that I love you just as a friend, right?” 
A pain shot through your heart at his words, as if a knife had just shoved through your chest. Even though you thought that you were prepared for the pain, you weren’t, very far from ready. You had to fight back the tears that were threatening to brim on your waterline. Inhaling deeply, you nodded your head with a small smile.
“Yeah. Yeah, I know that. I love you just the same and wouldn’t want anything more.” You smiled through the pain as he let out a relieved sigh.
“Oh, thank god, because some of the guys were telling me that you had a crush on me.” He chuckled as he made his way towards you, “would have made things so awkward if that were the case; so glad it’s not, though.”
“Oh yeah. Totally awkward.” You faked a laugh as he swung his arm around your shoulder as you faced the classroom door.
“C’mon, I gotta get to practice, and I need my favorite water girl there.” He chuckled, opening the door and pulling you out with him.
All you could do was laugh and follow along with him despite the crushing pain that you felt in your chest. You wanted to just go home and sob into your pillows for hours on end and devour an unhealthy amount of ice cream. But you couldn’t do that without raising some suspicion, so you just did as you normally would.
Even if it would continue to hurt you, you would never tell him your true feelings just so you could keep him close to you.
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@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
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bidisasterevankinard · 3 months ago
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Tommy is falling (coda 8x5)
“I think I should give you reasons to put on that suit more often,” Tommy says, looking Buck up and down. The man goes to get them some water when they enter the loft.
“Fancy dates?” his man smirks at him and Tommy’s heart skips a beat again like it did on the cemetery an hour ago when this incredible and unique man gave eulogy to the long dead man. All his thoughts now and then narrowed down to a single sentence.
Oh, I’m falling for you with the speed of V22 Osprey*
Tommy keeps the thought to himself though, humming in confirmation.
“I'm ok with it, but please only after the curse is lifted,” the pout on these sinful lips is back and he can’t contain his laugh.
Tommy shakes his head. God, this man. How are you so weird but in an absolutely adoring way?
“Hey, you literally came to the cemetery with me,” the pout intensifies somehow and Tommy smiles, looking into beautiful blue eyes.
“Yeah, maybe I didn't want to leave you alone with this guy.”
“Jealous to the mummy, Kinard?” Evan smirks, and then goes serious, adding “or now he’s a ghost I guess.”
It makes him snore.
“Well, what if he's rich and you'd prefer to stay with him?”
He fakes the judging face and crosses his hand over his chest, noting how Evan bites his lips, ogling his body that is still hidden by the suit. If Tommy has to guess not for long.
“Oh, don't worry Billy is ok with me living for more years and having fun with you till I'm ready to be his forever sugar baby in afterlife,” Evan pats his hand pushing water to him. “I’m sure he will take good care of me then.”
They need only two seconds before they start laughing together.
Yeah, I’m definitely falling for you Evan, too fast and deep. I hope the impact is not going to kill me. I won’t survive you breaking my heart
But what is the possible problem for future Tommy. Right now he lets himself enjoy the flight.
At the end of the day, he’s a damn good pilot.
*world’s fastest helicopter according to google
edit: now on ao3
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taiyeoki · 1 year ago
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𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘? | 𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐎
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↳ Kashimo + Reader
Genre . Smut
Warning . 🔞Minors do not interact | Contains breeding/impregnation, face fucking, nipple play, fingering, cancelled orgasm
Synopsis . Kashimo doesn't always show vulnerable emotions but when a man comes around fancying you, his wife, that wall comes crashing down with the simplest jealousy. Now he just wants to fuck you till tomorrow. Maybe putting a baby in you will make sure you're his.
A/N . This was supposed to be finished way sooner but I got too caught up with some other work, causing me to sleep at 4-5am for weeks straight and it physically affected me so I got body ache and inflammation. Turns out I got covid. And then afterwards, which is currently, I'm focusing a lot on art lmao.
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You had no plans today but to lay around on the couch all day long. Kashimo didn't mind since he's used to the woman staying at home during his time period anyway. The only difference now though is that you weren't even doing any chores. He never forced you to do them though, but seeing you sprawled out on the couch with a bag of chips next to you had him pushing you to get up.
Which is why you were here now, going into stores around the city. No way is Kashimo Hajime going to let his wife laze around all day. He cared about his wife's wellbeing and he knew the negative effects of being cooped up at home. However, this time he wasn't one bit pleased at all. He just regrets taking you out in the first place.
Your husband held a scowl on his face. He always looked fierce to begin with but this was different. You could feel his stare boring holes into the back of your head.
Going to the counter to order takeaways, the cashier held a rather innocent looking expression. The bright smile and friendly service wasn't fooling Kashimo though. He knew the cash register's true intentions weren't just to serve you.
"That'll be $15.70 ma'am," the man's smile widened in an attempt to be 'friendly'. It felt so disgustingly fake to your husband though. You replied with a polite "thank you," as you took your food, smiling in return but Kashimo saw how he purposely brushed his hand onto yours when serving you your order. He knew that you were too kind for your own good so it wasn't your fault for reciprocating the polite gesture but it pissed him off how anyone would try to fancy his wife.
Unfortunately for him, the cashier initiated a little conversation with you.
"I hope you enjoy your food. You've got great taste based on what you ordered. As expected from a woman such as yourself," his eyes darkened with intent staring at your frame, the smile he held wasn't going to fool Kashimo though.
"Do you come here often? I would love to help serve you again," his tongue darts out to lick his lips, almost as if he's moistening his lips to prolong more conversation.
"Oh, thank you. I guess I'm starting to become a usual customer here huh?" Chuckling, you replied noticing that you do come here more often than you think, appreciative of his kind offer.
"Great! That gives me even more reason to come to work," he laughs a bit at his joke but keeps his eyes on you. It was even more apparent now that he's leaning closer to you, close enough that he could take in your sweet scent which was supposed to be reserved for Kashimo only.
"Aren't you here to do your job? Or are you being paid to flirt with customers?" A smooth, velvety voice cuts in. Kashimo swiftly moves in front of you before you can pay for the food. He wasn't going to let this man touch you a second time, dropping the cash on the cashier's hands without even an inch of being near him so he wouldn't have to touch this 'thing'.
"T-thank you. You must be—"
"Her husband," Kashimo scoffed, a smug smile tugged on his lips handsomely. His agile movements snaked his arms around your waist, wrapping you right next to him to show who exactly you belong to.
Kashimo's presence only made the man look smaller than he was with your husband's dominating height towering over him. At least he wasn't dumb knowing how much more muscular your husband is compared to the guy working behind the counter trying to flirt with a married woman. His eyes zero in on Kashimo's strong hold on the small of your back and it was clear how possessive he got. You aren't bothered, leaning into Kashimo to envelope yourself in his comforting scent. The sight only made the man nervous with fear. He knew you were taken seeing from the beautiful blue ring that decorated your soft finger, both you and Kashimo having matching rings. Just by the looks of it he could tell how expensive it must've been and yet he still had the confidence to try and sway you— right in front of your husband too, who surely made more money than him with his part-time cashier job.
"Come on hun, let's go," Kashimo glances softly at you and his tone is gentle. Much different compared to this stranger who's just grateful that your husband decided to stay civil for the sake of his wife. He wears the look of horror when Kashimo turns around to face him once more.
"We'll be leaving now. I wouldn't expect a guy like you to be keeping their job for long if this is how you work."
Arriving home only meant that you had to deal with the little ordeal that happened, inquiring Kashimo about it. "What was that about? You didn't have to be rude you know."
Your beloved husband only scoffed when you reminded him of what happened. Seeing the sour expression on his face told you how annoyed he was, plus the deep scowl on his lips presented how pissed he was too. He pushes you against the kitchen counter, caging you between his strong arms as his lips latch onto your neck, kissing aggressively. You whine softly from how rough he's being, sucking on your supple skin creating hickeys everywhere while your fingers intertwine with his cyan locks. Your breaths are labored, he knows your body better than you do. He knows your sweet spots and your favourite positions, how you like it done and the perfect pace to do it.
Letting go, his saliva connects to your now bruised skin and he admires it.
"Pretty little mark. Should give you more don't you think?"
"Hajime, were you jealous?" You teased, giggling but your smirk is taken away when you feel his rough hand unclasp your bra, the other pulling your shirt up right above your breasts. Your sensitive skin exposed to the cold air causes your nipples to harden more than it needs to. Seeing this has blood rushing down to his cock as he flicks and tugs on your erect nipple, twisting it with the perfect pressure of his thumb and playing with your tits. Your head tips back with a moan, holding onto the kitchen counter for support while your husband ravages your body as he please.
Suddenly you feel his hot breath against your sensitive mounds. His lips wrap around your hardened nipple, sucking sensually producing lewd sounds from the wetness of your skin. His right hand continues to give attention to your left breast while he sucks on the other. You could feel Kashimo's calloused hand massaging your chest, the roughness of his thumb causing more friction against you as he twists and presses your nipple. God— his hands are too good. The man is skilled in pleasing you, he knows the perfect amount of pressure needed to have you over the edge.
Kashimo's free hand pushes your panties down, rubbing your already wet folds to get you prepped. He pushes a prodding finger against your walls, curling his finger just enough to hit the right spot. The sensation of his long finger abusing your sweet spot while his thumb circles your clit has you instinctively opening your legs further for more. Both his hands working you and his mouth sucking and lapping on your erect mounds already has you feeling like you're about to explode.
Your thighs shook in excitement as Kashimo's fingers slid inside of your already drenched cunt, and you moaned loudly, fingers scraping on the table under you with how your body is attacked by all this pleasure. Kashimo could feel your walls tighten around his digits. He knew whenever you needed to cum but as cruel as he is, Kashimo removes himself from your pussy, walls aching to release the familiar buildup in your abdomen.
You whined from the loss of sensation, feeling empty without him. "Hajime, why'd you st—"
He cuts you off, putting his pussy drenched finger inside of your mouth. "Lick it clean," His smooth, husky voice demanded. You couldn't deny how that turned you on more, sucking and lapping on your own juices off of his finger, making erotic sounds from it.
"There you go, see? Not so hard being a good little slut now right?"
He was enjoying the sight of your pretty lips wrapping his fingers, tasting yourself from it. Now his head was full of perverted thoughts on how you would look if you had your lips wrap his dick instead. If he had you sucking and choking on his fat cock.
Kashimo removes his finger from your mouth, too impatient to have you gagging on his dick. He kept his cyan eyes down on you while he licked his own fingers clean and it made you feel small and honestly inferior, submissive to him.
"Kneel down."
He had a mix of dominance and lust, greed hinted at the edge of his voice. You did as he said, kneeling down for your knees to take the weight while your face is in front of his crotch. Kashimo cupped his hand around the growing tent of his pants, rubbing it as his veins throbbed from the blood rushing south to his erection. "Go on. You know what to do," Kashimo had a smug smirk decorating his lips, eyeing down on you in front of him.
You gulped knowing what he wanted, the thought of his dick springing out of its restraints has you dripping wetter than before. Your hands pulled down on his pants slowly, earning a grunt from him at how you were taking your time in this. "Shit hun, stop teasing already," he grabbed a fistful of your hair and you moaned softly from how good it felt, forcing you to do as he say, rushing you more. Kashimo's left with his boxers on but you wanted to prolong your teasing. The tip of your tongue lapped at his clothed bulge leaving a damp spot, receiving labored breaths of sigh from him.
You continued your ministrations, licking his clothed shaft with the tip of your tongue like a needy slut until you yelped when he gently yanked on your hair, "what'd I say about teasing huh?" Your little fun of taking control was instantly stripped away when he forced you to stop. Pulling down the last of his restraints, his thick cock sprung out, tip leaking with precum.
Scrambling on your knees obediently, humiliation washed over you with your husband still gently grasping your hair. Kashimo's fingertip taps on his cock, smearing the pre-cum around the tip and then on your face.
"Pretty face would look better with my cock fucking into your mouth yeah?" He muses, moist tip rubbing up against your soft lips wanting to enter and just violate your face. You're practically drooling, tongue sticking out and he places his shaft flat onto it. You drag your tongue underneath him in a long and slow pace earning a low moan.
Your husband smoothly slides in his cock deep into your mouth, unprepared by his size even though you've already been married for years. You gagged a bit before adjusting to his length, drooling a bit onto his shaft and gripping on his thigh. His cock pushes through your lips, hitting the back of your throat while you try to breathe through your nose.
"Y'know you pissed me off. Just wanted to make me jealous huh?"
You couldn't respond. Cock deep in your mouth, you could only muffle in denial. It was true though, you didn't mean to make him jealous. What started off with you teasing him about it turned into him face fucking you. His smoothly styled cyan hair falls out of place, bangs sticking onto his face from the sweat forming on his forehead and his buns turning messy.
"Shouldn't my wife apologize? Use your big girl words and say you're sorry," the room resonates with his groans, his girth making it hard to breathe as you try and say sorry.
"Mmph- soh-wee—"
It was all you could say after all with a meaty cock in your mouth, nose brushing against his hair as he keeps you in place with the firm grip he has on your locks. A sadistic smirk curled onto Kashimo's lips as he watches, beginning to quicken up the pace. You hate and love how determined Kashimo is, once he sets his goal on something he'll do whatever it takes to achieve it. At this moment though, he's determined to have his wife deepthroating him.
The friction of each thrust has his dick tattooed in a darker red, grunting at the wet cave that's going to send him to heaven. His movements get sloppier and grow desperate, balls slapping against your chin with each thrust.
"Ah— fuck!" With a final thrust he spurts all his cum down your throat, pushing you right against him to keep you in place as his little cumdump and making sure to leave none behind. "Swallow," he demands, hot seed slides down your throat as you try and swallow while his dick is still in your mouth.
With a huff, Kashimo lets go of your abused throat to let you breathe. Gasping for air, your hand rubs your sore neck but you could see how his dick still stays standing despite how satisfied he was with jizzing in his wife's mouth.
Looking up at him, your husband's lips held the seductive smirk, palming on his wet, still-hard cock in front of you. Standing on his full height, he grabs your waist and pulls you up, laying your belly side on the kitchen counter behind you.
"You want this? Your pussy's drooling for my cock but you're not speaking clearly enough. I'm gonna need my little slut to speak. We can't have my wife suffering now can we?"
"Please.." you pleaded, his firm hand spanks your ass receiving a whine.
"Cute."
Kashimo slides inside with ease from how wet you were from your cancelled orgasm, cock stretching out your plush walls as your thighs shook in excitement. Moaning against your sleeve, you start fucking yourself on his dick. Kashimo doesn't hesitate in helping you, picking up the pace and fucking hard into your drenched cunt. You could feel every inch of his dick, pussy memorizing every pretty vein on him, how it feels like you two were made just for each other while his tip easily abuses your sensitive spot.
Your body glistens with sweat, shoulders littered with hickeys with Kashimo leaving bite marks on you, his teeth biting on your skin just hard enough to draw out pleasure without hurting you. You moaned as his fingers rubbed your clit in circles
Kashimo gets the perfect view of where your bodies are connected, every thrust from your squelching cunt creating a white ring of both your arousals. Your trembling legs were proof of how much you were enjoying it, toes curling and fingers gripping the smooth surface of the table with a muffled squeal.
"Fuck- gonna cum inside, gonna make you pregnant,"
He claws against your waist, the euphoria of him filling you up while your hardened nipples rubbed against the counter from each thrust's friction. Your mouth hung open but no noises escaped your pretty swollen lips. Kashimo loved the idea that his cock was making you feel so good that your brain couldn't even react to it all the while his tip kisses your womb with every push, hitting you in your fucked-out state.
"Can't even speak now? Wanna be a mommy huh? You like that idea?"
You tried reaching back to grab his arm, whimpering to signal that you were about to cum with the familiar coil tightening in your abdomen. Your husband leans down to give you kisses though they were more possessive than caring, giving sloppy french kisses with more tongue than lips. The sweat forming at your skin caused you to slide against the counter with every thrust, trying to grab on to anything for support.
The thought of your belly round with a baby and your fuller breasts being sensitive was enough for Kashimo to cum.
Teeth sinking into your neck to muffle his groans, his hot cum spilled inside of you making sure to paint every inch of your walls white. Spurts of his load fills your belly and he stays there cockwarming until it softens, pulling out.
Your husband's digits went down to spread your lower lips, watching how his cum oozed out of you. He curls his fingers to scoop up his orgasm and pushes it back into you, making sure his beloved wife is full of his hot seed.
"Hajime—"
"Sorry hun, I got too rough didn't I? I was just jealous but I'll make it up to you. I just love you so much," he plants a tender kiss on your back, massaging your sore hips.
Giggling at how he peppers soft kisses all over you, you reassure him. "It's okay, I had fun."
Chuckling, Kashimo nuzzles into your neck, still rubbing your sore flesh and promising to give you a full body massage.
"But hey, you'll make me such a happy daddy."
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timkontheunsure · 9 months ago
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Could Stolas' Apology Tour song break down Blitz assumptions from at Ozzie's?
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Saw this and immediately my head when to this bit. It looks like he's finally realized that Stolas loves him, and it broke him.
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So we know Blitz assumes that Stolas doesn't care, so it's safe to ask him out to spy on the M&M's.
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Thinking he's the only one who can get hurt by crossing this line with his f*ckbuddy.
Guessing this is why he winches when asked Stolas out on what he thinks of as a fake date.
He probably thought Stolas would be fine with it as long as he puts out, and why he's still so sure that's what Stolas is asking for at the end of the night.
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But then Stolas shows up dressed to the nines, and is very excited about their "first real date".
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Blitz starts off ignoring him as intended, till Stolas does what he's good at. Drawing him in by asking him about his day.
And then the one that really makes him stop and think about what he's really doing here.
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"so, what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?"
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Then we get to the extreme misunderstanding of the night.
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Ozzie says Stolas has thrown his whole life away for Lust. "Nothing else".
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Blitz thinks that Stolas life was perfect before he came along. After all he a smoking wife, and a kid who clearly adores her dad. What Blitz would consider "it all".
And Stolas appears to confirm it by hiding, (when actually he's just following Blitz lead about what to do).
Instead of what really just happened, that Stolas has just been very publicly outed; and had the King of Lust side with his abuser. (I love Ozzie but he's a git here).
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I think Stolas song is finally make Blitz understand Stolas isn't just a horny idiot, that blow up his own life "for a cheep lay".
(Fizz will be proud lol).
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That Stolas was really just asking to chat, and cuddle. Not trying to sleep with him.
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Blitz has been assuming the whole way through that he's the only who "can get hurt" in this. We know he hate himself so that was probably a plus when starting the relationship.
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I'm not sure that Stolas will sing about the abuse directly, but I think he will sing about his loneliness.
That all he was living for was Via, and that Blitz was the only thing made him happier, even just for a little while.
But Blitz knowing this not another life he's made worse.
That he was one of the only thing made Stolas happier, even just for a little while; would be a big step to them understand eachother.
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thefiery-phoenix · 10 months ago
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BOUND FOREVER(YANDERE TOM RIDDLE X READER)
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It was your first year at Hogwarts and you were quite excited to learn everything there was about magic and make friends. You were on the Hogwarts Express and you tried to find an empty compartment when you finally stumbled upon a compartment with a guy who looked a few years older than you and had raven black curls on his pale skin as he lazily flipped through the pages of one of his books in his hands. You opened the door and you entered the compartment as you asked him whether you could sit inside with him. His eyes met yours and his gaze surveyed your features with a calculating sharp look. He had a look of slight annoyance in his eyes but beckoned for you to sit without saying a word. You smiled and thanked him and sat opposite towards him and when you pulled your 'A History of Hogwarts' book out, his lips curved into a cheshire like grin. "I'm guessing you're a first year?" he asked you. "Well yes, I'm reading more about Hogwarts so I can learn more about it and it's actually quite fun'' you said with a smile. For a while only the sound of the train on the tracks was heard along with the chatter of the other students from the other compartments and there was a peaceful silence between the two of you 
"I didn't get your name'' you said and looked at the guy in front of you. "Tom Marvolo Riddle, 3rd year'' he replied with a smirk as you shook his hand and introduced yourself. He liked how soft your hand felt in his, you looked so...innocent and docile and so gullible with that silly yet slightly endearing grin etched across your face. He couldn't wait to have more of you. The two of you were talking with each other when the compartment door slid open as a few Ravenclaw students entered and they stared at you. "You're new eh? Well if you ever need anything lemme know, I'll be more than willing to be your...guide'' said one of them as he licked his lips and his eyes travelled down your body hungrily which you were unaware of. It didn't go unnoticed by Tom though as he had a fake smile plastered across his face and asked him to step out of the compartment for a few moments with him. As the both of them stepped out, he immediately grabbed him by the tie and glared at him. "If I ever see your filthy gaze on Y/N again, by Merlin I will torture you till you fall at my feet and BEG me for death as I gouge your bloody eyes out...now get lost'' he snarled as the guy in front of him whimpered in fright. "Bloody pathetic...I'll kill you in your sleep at some point'' said Tom and smirked at the guy while the guy hobbled away in fright. Tom wasn't going to let anyone take you from him, you were his little prey, a little lamb meant to be devoured by him 
He returned back to the compartment and you kept talking to him while he listened and absorbed every word you said. The train finally reached the station as you and the other First Year students headed into the Great Hall ready to be sorted. You spotted Tom sitting with the rest of his other friends at the Slytherin table and you could feel his eyes on you. You were nervous and started fidgeting with the hem of your robes, anxiously waiting for your name to be called to be sorted as Tom took pleasure in watching you squirm from afar. He thought you looked rather amusing and slightly endearing, his desire to make you squirm for him even more grew as he kept watching you. Your name was finally called upon and you sat down on the stool as the hat was placed on your head and after a few moments of deliberation from the hat, you got sorted into the Hufflepuff house as you smiled and joined your house. Tom's fists clenched as his knuckles  as he watched you join those insignificant pests when you were supposed to get sorted into Slytherin so you could be by his side 
'No matter...they're still mine' thought Tom to himself as he watched you laugh and giggle with the other people around you. He felt himself growing irritated at himself, he was angry at himself for allowing his mind to be plagued with thoughts of you, he hated the way you laughed with other people, he felt his anger and rage boiling inside him. After the dinner was over, you met with Tom and when you told him that even though the two of you were in different houses, you still wanted to be friends with him as his lips curved into a smirk. How naive and adorable you were, while the others shivered in their shoes since he instilled fear into them, there was you who actually wanted to be close to him. You failed to realize he was a wolf in sheep's clothing with a mask, hiding his unnatural feelings of obsession for you with his dark twisted desires 
He was calculating when he started isolating you from the others. He threatened, blackmailed and tortured people whoever dared to come too close to you. Every time you'd meet him in the Room of Requirement wondering why people didn't want to be close to you and how you'd start sniffing pathetically, he'd coo at you in a patronizing condescending manner secretly glad that you're leaning on him and relying on him for support. He loved the way your tears fell down your cheeks, those beautiful lashes of yours tinged with your tears as your eyes are bleary and puffy, it gave him sadistic pleasure to see you cry. The other day someone invited you to a day out with them at Hogsmeade and you told Tom about it as his eyes narrowed at you and curtly told you he had a problem he had to take care of. He tracked down the git who tried to take you from him and immediately used the Avada Kedavra on him as a beam of green light erupted from his wand. He stared down at the lifeless body in front of him with contempt as he put his wand back into his robes and went back to join you 
By the time you realized Tom was the one behind all those deaths and all those people getting hurt, it was too late. He'd spun a web of lies, trapping you like a helpless little butterfly in his web of deceit and manipulation. You tried to tell professor Dumbledore about his behavior after the Transfiguration class. "Professor...Professor, please, I need to have a word with you'' you pleaded as you tried to catch up with him while you walked on the steps. Someone ended up tipping Tom off that you were about to talk to professor Dumbledore as he rushed to find you. "Y/N!" yelled Tom as he strode over to you, his every step filling you with dread. "I apologize for my sudden intrusion professor, Y/N here had a question about today's lesson...I assure you I shall clear Y/N's questions'' said Tom with his usual charming smile that could fool anyone but not you since you've finally seen him for who he actually was 
Professor Dumbledore bade you both goodnight and left as you wanted to cry out for him to look back and save you from the clutches of his toxic manipulative grasp but all you could do was just keep your mouth shut when Tom sent a withering glowering glare towards you. He dragged you by your wrist into a nearby classroom and pinned you against the wall. "LET ME GO! WHAT ARE YOU-" you screamed as his hand covered your mouth, muffling your cries and screams for help as tears pricked your eyes. "There are consequences when you go behind my back...you are MINE, you're MY property and I have no qualms of getting more blood on my hands to make you stay with me...I love you after all'' he whispered as he had his signature wolf like grin on his face. You tried to squirm in his grasp and he chuckled as he felt your hands weakly pushing against him, how cute, you really thought you could fight back against him. "Be a good little pet for me and stop your whining unless you don't want your family and friends to see the light of day again...'' he whispered as he leaned close to you and enjoyed the way you kept whimpering and sobbing in his arms. His thumb gently caressed your cheek as his dark obsession for you was fueled even more when he saw how soft and pliant and vulnerable you were before him. A few seconds later you started losing consciousness and he held you by the waist. You were now his, bound forever to him and he'd ensure no one would ever be able to save you from him...
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cherryblossompink303 · 3 months ago
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Patience: ~The twins fight!~
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➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: The twins get bored and decide to play around with the two girls of the host club and chaos breaks loose. ➼ what to expect: "I'd look out , for a moment there it sounded like you care" ➼ warnings: none ➼ Part Four | Part Six
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"Let's Play the 'which one is Hikaru?' game" The twins chime out, introducing the game that they have played with the clients ever since the host club started.
"So? Can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?” the twins tease in unison.
“Well, it’s hard to say!”
“You’re identical!” The guests gush over the twins in awe.
“Many ladies have tried to tell us apart, but so far none have succeeded.” they wag their fingers in a demeaning fashion.
"That's the dumbest game i've ever heard" Haruhi comments, sat with you having coffee. "They've always done this, it is silly but the girls seem to like it" you shrug.
"You just don't like it because you never guess right y/n" Hikaru appears out of seemingly nowhere as if they heard you from across the room. "No, I never guess because you lie, statistically someone should guess right 50% of the time and yet they never do, I wonder why that is" You taunt, Kyoya chuckles from a nearby table.
The twins gasp dramatically in offence "We would never lie!" the two of them exclaim in unison. "You're jealous because we are so popular" Kaoru accuses, sticking a finger in your face "I'm not even a host, why would I be jealous?"
"Apparently you don’t understand the merits of having a pair of twins as members of the Host Club.”
"Other than you driving Tamaki up the wall?" you tease, knowing what they meant, your the host club's manager you've seen the numbers of it all, next to Tamaki the twins were extremely popular, although you never fully understood the appeal.
“Listen up! Having a couple of good-looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns the club high points. It also helps if the two struggle between their attraction and their friendship.”
You nod, trying to turn away and out of this conversation but they follow your gaze. "And in our case, because we’re twins, our relationship is taboo, and therefore more intriguing.” you grimace, you never try to put too much thought in Hikaru and Kaoru's relationship for the sake of your job, so saying it directly wasn't fun to hear.
The twins appear surrounding a guest. Hikaru tilts her chin his way, whispering into her ear.
“And besides, who hasn’t fantasized about twins? Having two lovers is better than one, don’t you think?”
Kaoru replaces Hikaru’s hand with his own, directing the guest his way, “It’s a young woman’s romantic fantasy.”
The guest stammers, “Well, I- um… yeah, you’re right! I can’t take it!” other guests join in on her squealing. "So you see y/n-"
"Don't, I get the picture, just get back to work"
"Hikaru! Kaoru!” Tamaki appears screaming
The twins mirror each other, hands perched on their hips, “Hm?”
Enraged, Tamaki continues, “When I have control of the club’s website, I did so on one condition! That you take it seriously!” Tamaki shrieks in mortification.
“We take our job very seriously, Boss,” Hikaru assures.
Kaoru waves his hands eccentrically, “In fact, last night we worked on it till dawn.”
Tamaki opens his laptop aggressively, “Is THIS what you worked so hard to create?!” He smacks the keyboard, showing images of Haruhi and You pop up.
"What the..."
Haruhi had been photoshopped- Suprisingly well- to make her appear shirtless, although it was obvious that it was fake since obviously Haruhi does not have the chest of a guy. Meanwhile the twins had edited pictures of you to show more collarbone, one photo being taken from behind had you with a completely exposed back.
"Hm, I didn’t notice that change in the website.”
You nearly jump out of your skin at the voice adjacent to you. None other than Kyoya stands emotionless beside you, observing the picture on the monitor.
“Please don’t tell me you were involved in this.” You plead, knowing that if anyone were to supply the photos used to create these it would be Kyoya. "No, but they are doing remarkably well"
It takes all the strength within you not to hit Kyoya up the back of his head. "Why did you even do this! I'm not even a host, not to mention the fact that the host club has an all female demographic!" You cry, voice increasingly getting higher.
You were going to lose your mind, you know the body in the photos wasn't yours but you were uncomfortable showing a lot of skin regardless, even if it wasn't technically your skin.
“You look great, y/n-Chan!” Honey exclaims from behind you. You make a quick movement and cover his eyes with your hand, much to his confusion.
“Oh! We never see much of y/n! I wanna see!”
“That’s why.” Kyoya points with his pen to the girls fawning over the revealing photo of you.
“Plus, I’m sure our male hosts don’t mind taking a glance at it from time to time.” he shrugs. Oh you were going to kill him.
“You-!”
Tamaki snatches the laptop from you and hands it to the awaiting girls. You exclaim in protest and reach for it, but it’s too late.
“Tell me when!”
“Huh?” the twins tilt their heads.
“When did you take naked pictures of y/n and Hruhi?!”
“Oh, dear god.” You shove your face into your hands and resist the urge to scream.
“You bribed her, didn’t you!” Tamaki starts to cry, grabbing at his hair anxiously.
“You’re imagining things.”
“It’s obvious that the photo’s been altered.”
“It was photoshopped?” Tamaki whimpers, facing the twins with dread.
"Trust me Tamaki I knew nothing about this"
“We did a pretty good job, huh?” Hikaru slides next to Tamaki with Kaoru, shrugging identically.
“We’ve got some major photoshopping talent.” Kaoru brags unabashedly.
“You idiots! That’s a waste of your skills! Have you no shame?!”
Tamaki’s attitude takes a swerve, now kneeling before the twins, pleading, “But if you’re going to do it anyway, can you photoshop Haruhi into this idol photo book?” He presents the twins with the photo book excitedly.
This time, it’s Haruhi’s face that pales, becoming white-faced. You can’t help but laugh.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Boss, why don’t you just-”
“-ask her if she’d wear an outfit like one of those.” the twins suggest, much to Haruhi’s dismay.
Tamaki glances at Haruhi with hopeful eyes, “I never thought to ask her…” he tip-toes behind her and presents her with a pink, frilly dress.
“What do you think about this, my dear?”
“What are you doing with that dress?” Honey tilts his head.
“I would have to agree with Tamaki; I’d love to see what Haruhi looked like if he dressed as a girl!” A guest abandons the laptop to pay attention to Haruhi and Tamaki’s interaction.
“Oh, he’s so cute! I’m sure he’d look great no matter what you put him in.”
Haruhi sighs in exasperation, turning to look at Tamaki with a half-assed glare. Tamaki bursts into tears and drifts away.
You snatch the laptop while it’s unattended and slam it shut, irked. "Okay that's enough, no more creepy photoshops of me and Haruhi you perverts, what do you take us for anyway?"
The twins share an identical smirk with a hum, “Isn’t that obvious? You’re our toys.”
♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡        ♡
As we were saying, in order to entertain one’s self in this otherwise boring life-”
“One must find himself stimulating toys.”
You and Haruhi groan in unison “we are not your toys, okay?” The twins shrug with mischievous chuckles.
Suddenly, a door appears behind the three of you, revealing someone cloaked in darkness and peeking out from behind them.
“You want a toy?”
The voice calls your attention as well as the twins’, the three of you glancing over with a chorused confused, “Huh?”
“Toys, toys, if you like toys, then you should come and visit my black magic club.” the figure with a deep voice holds a candelabra.
The pieces fit together in your brain, and you realize the intimidating figure only to be Nekozawa-Senpai. You sigh heavily.
“We’ve opened a marketplace that boasts black magic items from across the globe. We’re also holding mass around the clock.”
Neko’s voice pricks the hairs standing straight on the back of Tamaki’s neck, drawing his attention and fear over to him.
“If you visit right now, I’ll even throw in a free curse doll. You can have Beelzenef as your free gift.”
You snort at the mere name of the doll. The twins struggle to hold in their laughter as well.
“Why is he talking to us through a crack in the door?” Haruhi asks from beside you.
“Wait a second, has that door always been there-?”
Kyoya meanders to the four of you with his infamous folder, “Nekozawa-Senpai likes to hide, he doesn’t really care for brightly lit places.” he clarifies at Haruhi’s question.
You raise your hand childishly, “I still have a question about the door-”
Tamaki stalks up behind Haruhi and speaks abruptly, “Don’t get involved with that guy, Haruhi.”
Haruhi leaps into the air with a yelp at his sudden appearance.
Tamaki isn’t phased in the least, “If you do, you’ll end up being cursed!”
“Do you have any basis for that?” you can’t help but snicker at Tamaki’s attitude toward the clearly harmless elder student.
Dramatically, “Yes! And you should know that! It happened during final exams at the end of the last school year! It’s terrifying just to talk about it.”
“On that fateful day, I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekozawa’s cursed doll, Beelzenef. Afterward, I took my exam and the entire test was written in some strange lettering! I looked to the others around me for help and realized I knew none of them! I was all alone in a different dimension!”
Honey cries in the backdrop, “Scary!”
“Did that really happen to you?!” Haruhi gasps.
Kyoya clarifies, “That only happened because you were so scared you accidentally walked into the beginning Greek class and took their exam.” he rolls his eyes.
“No, it was a curse! I know because three days later, I woke up and my legs were as heavy as lead! Just how do you explain that?!” Tamaki challenges.
"your legs were heavy because you ran a marathon the day before, remember?” you point out
Nekozawa appears near you, Kyoya, and Tamaki with a warning, “You shouldn’t underestimate the dark powers of Beelzenef the curse doll! All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on his back. Then that person is certain to come face to face with misfortune!”
Wow, this guy is dark in more ways than one,” Hikaru observes as Tamaki shakes in fright.
“Supposedly, he hates bright lights,” Kaoru glances at his twin with a glint in his eye, “I wonder what he’ll think of this?” He brings a flashlight out from behind his back, flicking it on and off.
The light shines brightly onto Nekozawa, and incidentally, Tamaki, startling them both.
“You murderers!” Nekozawa shrieks as he dashes back to the safe darkness of his club room, slamming the door behind him.
Tamaki lets out a harrowing shriek, “How on earth could you do such a thing?! Obviously the two of you don’t know the true terror of black magic!” he attempts to scold the twins as they wander off.
They throw themselves into chairs alongside each other boredly.
“Ugh, I am so bored.”
“Isn’t there anything fun we can do around here?”
Being ignored is one of Tamaki’s worst nightmares. So he confines himself to his sulking corner and crouches in shame, “My dignity as the club’s leader is being ignored.”
“It sure is.” you tsk as you shake your head at the twins’ behavior.
“Hey, y/n, we’ve got a favor to ask you.” Both Hikaru and Kaoru raise their hands in unison, gaining your attention. “What is it?”
“The next time we get a day off,”
“Can we come over to your place and hang out?”
You tense up at the question "Why would you do that?" in the two years you had been living in Japan you never really had the club members round to your place, while they all lived in mansions you lived in a small apartment not far from the school.
“We’re curious! We wanna see where you live.”
Without hesitation, you have an answer, “No way.” Your response is immediate.
“Aw, pretty please?” they plead annoyingly. "You never let us come round" Kaoru spoke up.
"I’ve been curious as well; I don’t think any of us have been to your house before.” As per usual, Kyoya appears beside you
“No way in hell, Kyoya,” you deadpan. The crease between Kyoya’s brows becomes more prominent at your response. "Besides, it was your family who set me up with my place, I honestly thought you knew where I live"
Kyoya shrugged "I know your address but I haven't seen it in person, I don't go that far in depth in my research"
“We can settle this with a game!” The twins adorn their green caps.
“If you can’t pick out which one of us is Hikaru, then your penalty will be the two of us coming over to your house later tonight.” They shuffle themselves back and forth, spinning.
“Okay! So which one of us is Hikaru?”
Relief floods your system that the game is so simple- they’ll never have to come over. You point confidently, “This one’s Kaoru, this one’s Hikaru.”
The twins prance in accomplishment, “Uh oh! You got it wrong!” They grin.
You raise an eyebrow that they were still choosing to lie even to you “No, I know I’m right. You guys may look alike, but you’re very different.” you clarify.
The twins let out a mildly frightened laugh, trying to keep their composure.
"How did you do that, y/n? Whenever they wear those hats to cover up which way they part their hair, it’s practically impossible to try and figure out which twin is Hikaru and which one is Kaoru!” a guest catches your attention.
“How can you tell them apart?” Another asks.
"I have to spend every day around them for one, you slowly start to pick up on little things, Hikaru is more impulsive than kaoru while kaoru is more mischevious with his plots"
Kaoru snorts and covers his mouth with his hand, “Sorry, Hikaru, I don’t mean to laugh.” But as he says it, his light chuckle transforms into full-blown laughter.
“Well, I don’t see what’s so funny. I’m honest, I speak my mind, and I don’t hold back.” Hikaru closes his eyes and holds his head high.
“It’s sneaky people like Kaoru who are the troublemakers.”
Kaoru’s eyes open wide and the laughter stops. He rises from his hunched position and glares at Kaoru, suddenly serious.
“Don’t turn this on me, Hikaru. After all, I’m the one who’s always going along with all of your selfish games.”
“I may suggest them, but you’re the one who really gets into them, Kaoru. If you hate it so much, then why don’t you just stop?”
“Because I’d hate to see you make an ass of yourself in front of everyone. It was your idea to call y/n our toy, but I noticed you were quick to make a pass at her,”
You slowly try to creep away from the twins, no longer wanting to be apart of whatever is going on, accidentally backing into Kyoya, who grasps your shoulders to stabilise you. "Are you alright?"
“What’s going on?” your voice is unsteady. He follows your finger and shrugs. “I’m not sure.”
“Admit it, Hikaru, you’re actually in love with y/n, aren’t you?”
You're eyes widen in pure shock, in the years that you had known the twins neither had expressed any romantic interest in you, or at least none that you had noticed. Kyoya's grip on your shoulders tighten a little.
“You’ve got it all wrong, Kaoru! Man, you’re such a freaking idiot!”
“Why would I fall for her? I mean, she looks like a tanuki.” Hikaru reasons.
“Wow, thank you so much Hikaru, appreciate it" you mutter.
“Awesome. This is just perfect!”
Something powerful shakes the ground and rises from the floor.
The motor carries Renge, much to your dismay.
“Our beloved y/n is in the middle of a beautiful yet poignant four-sided romantic relationship!”
“Four-sided-?” You glance around cluelessly.
“And to make it even more exciting, two of y/n’s admirers are twins, torn apart by love! Just the thought of it could make me eat three bowls of rice!”
“Oh butt out, Otaku.” The twins groan. You speak up, “Actually, this is the first time she’s acknowledging my existence so-”
“You guys are meanies, you shouldn’t say something like that to your manager!” Renge cries.
“Never mind.” you pout.
“I’m confused, I thought that you had decided to go back home to France, Renge.” Haruhi points out.
“Well, I was going to start up a host club of my own, but I don’t think France is ready for a host club just yet.” Renge explains.
“Cut it out, already!” The exclamation draws everyone’s attention back to the twins.
“You’re the one who’s always crawling into my bed! Talk about annoying!” Hikaru huffs angrily.
“I only do that cause you look lonely! I wouldn’t choose to sleep in your bed, you idiot!”
Somehow, the twins’ guests find their bickering to be dote-worthy.
“Who are you calling an idiot, you’re the one who sucks at math?” Hikaru fires back with rage.
“Oh yeah? Well, you’re failing your foreign language class, you big dummy!”
“The way you grind your teeth is deafening!”
“At least I don’t toss and turn so much that I fall out of bed!”
“Sex Pixie!”
“Sicko!”
“YOUR MAMA WEARS TOO MUCH MAKEUP!”
“That’s it! We’re over!”
Silence falls over the host club, you look up to see kyoya's equally shocked face.
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By the time you had reached lunch the next day everyone was getting sick of the twins fighting. Haruhi had told you that the twins had showed up to class with dyed hair and nearly tore the classroom apart.
As you along with the rest of the host club entered the refractory the twins were still arguing, this time over what they were ordering for lunch
“I was wondering what all the fuss was about. I can’t believe the two of you are still fighting, you’re a disgrace to the host club.” Tamaki says as you all enter.
“Hey, look who it is.”
“Oh, I love them…”
“I’ve never seen them all together like this…”
"We've had enough of this! You're both to blame for this!" Honey demands.
You turn to Kyoya "I'm surprised you joined us Kyoya, you never normally eat here" you point out, Kyoya still scribbling in his notebook. "Yes well given the circumstances I figured that it would be best that I come and keep an eye on things lest they start chucking things around the room again. I don't want someone to get hurt"
"Someone?" You ask, sending him a pointed look, kyoya glares at you over the rim of his glasses "Don't want to see you needing a doctor, we both know how that would go" he smirks.
You laugh "I'd look out Kyoya, for a moment there it sounded like you care about me" you faux horror. He tutted through a smile "Well we can't have that can we?"
“I don’t care if my boxed lunch is in an embarrassing heart shape! I will eat it!” Tamaki’s shout echoes in the expansive dining hal, leaving the two of you to stare at him in confusioon.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it’s evident that your fantasies are completely incoherent.” Kyoya departs, carrying his meal on a tray.
“y/n, you wanna sit here with me?” Hikaru pulls out a seat next to him and gestures to it, suddenly calm, separate from Kaoru.
“Uh, okay.” You approach sceptically, sitting down next to him.
“So what’s that?” He points to your little container you’ve brought with you, “What’d you bring for lunch?”
“Just some food I made before school" you shrug.
“You wanna switch with me? I had to order something different than Kaoru, so I ended up with stuff I don’t really like.” He pushes his tray in your direction and swipes up your container.
“That’s fine with me.” You shrug, taking a fork and poking at the food on your new spread. You begin to chew on a bite, humming with satisfaction and chewing thoroughly.
Kaoru pulls out a chair on the other side of you, “So, y/n, is that any good? How would you like to taste mine? Here.”
He slides his fingers under your chin and aims a spoon toward your mouth, tilting your chin upwards. Your face flushes at the proximity.
Hikaru leans forward and eats what’s on Kaoru’s soon, “Quit butting in, get lost, Kaoru.” He deadpans. You squeak and jerk away, separating yourself from the twins glaring at each other.
Kaoru hesitates before chucking a bowl of soup in Hikaru’s direction.
Although it looks like Hikaru has received the blow, he pulls on Tamaki’s tie to reveal that he shielded himself with his own boss. He smirks.
Before you know it, you’re caught in another crossfire between them. Chairs, plates, food, and even Honey is thrown between them.
You slip away and somehow yet again ended up sat by Kyoya yet again “Weren’t you enjoying yourself over there? I'm sure the twins are excellent company”
“Very funny.” Your eyes roll exaggeratedly, opening up your food. "Why have you brought your own lunch? I understand why Haruhi requires a boxed lunch but you and I both know you are in a vastly different situation to her"
"I don't know I just... I've felt weirdly homesick this week, I figured making some food from where I am from would help" you shrug, Kyoya hums back in understanding "Could I...try some?" He asked, slightly sheepishly which was a rare look for him.
You nod, smiling back as you slide over the box for him to stick his fork in, patiently awaiting as he took a taste. His face lights up in a mix of surprise and delight "This is really good"
"You think? I don't think myself to be that much of a chef" you shrug, sliding the box back to take a taste for yourself "You made this?" you smile back at him nodding "yeah"
Kyoya hums, staring back at you with a look that you couldn't quite place. "You should tell me about your home country more often" he lightly commented, returning to his own food. You stared back at him in mild shock, "Yeah"
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"Looking at the numbers, if this situation isn’t resolved, I’m afraid we’re going to have to stop offering our brotherly love package. We’re down one pair of loving brothers.” Kyoya grumbles, sitting directly across from you.
“Oh, y/n, I just want you to know there’s no reason for you to feel responsible. Even though it was your tactless comment that started this whole feud between the twins in the first place, right?”
Your shoot him a dead pan glare. Clearly he did blame you despite the fact that the twins kind of started the fight themselves.
Honey fidgets solemnly with Usa-Chan in his lap, “It’s weird for Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan to be fighting like this. It’s never happened before.” a frown etched upon his face. Mori nods with a bleak hum.
“They’ve never fought before?” Haruhi chimes in from beside you. You nod grimly.
“I’ve known Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan since we were pre-school. We weren’t in the same year, so I never really got to talk to them, but I remember that the two of them always played together.” Honey recalls.
“Yeah, that’s true. I mean, I’ve only known the twins since they were in middle school but they definitely stood out. It seemed like… they kept everyone at a distance except each other to protect themselves. I mean, they were even more isolated back then, I couldn’t even imagine how they’ve turned out now when I knew them at first.” Tamaki chimed in.
“Maybe this fight is a good thing for them.” He extends his arms to emphasize his next point, “Maybe it means that the twins are expanding their horizons a bit. We should just leave them alone and let them work it out.”
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You quickly realise that leaving them alone to work it out wasn't quite going to cut it. By the time the next day rolled around you all realised that you could not open the host club that day as the twins were yet again hurling things at eachother.
“Don’t you guys think that maybe, it’s time you give up all this fighting? It’s driving me insane!” Tamaki cries, looking like he is one more argument away from having a breakdown
“What’d you say? It’s driving you insane? You’ve got to be kidding me- how do you think I feel right now?! Every time I look in the mirror, I see his face! I’m sick and tired of constantly being mistaken for you, Kaoru! The truth is, I hate your guts!” Hikaru yells across the room.
“You took the words right out of my mouth. In fact, I hate you so much, I bought this! Belzenef, the curse doll!” Hikaru produces the wooden cat doll from his blazer. Tamaki shrieks.
“I’m going to complete the curse, Hikaru. I’m going to write your name on his back.” Kaoru pulls a marker from thin air threateningly, Hikaru growls.
Rage and frustration filled you, this was too far, it was all getting out of hand.
“From this day forward, you’re going to experience nothing but misfortune and sorrow!” The marker squeaks as Kaoru scribbles onto the back of the doll.
Tamaki screeches in horror, his palms cupping both his cheeks.
You march up to him, snatching the doll from him and throwing it to the ground. "Are you insane!?" Kaoru stares back at you in shock. "You don’t bring something like this into a petty fight! Both of you are at fault here, but what’s really sad is that you’ve brought everyone else around you into your big mess!”
At this point you are staring down at the two of them like a mother scolding two small children, “Now apologize to each other! If you don’t make up right now, I’m never gonna let you come over to my house, have I made myself clear?!”
You hadn't even registered the words before they left your mouth, pausing as you processed what you actually had just said. The twins stare up at you in shock and horror, however that does not last long as the corners of their lips twist upwards into a smirk.
“So then what you’re saying, y/n, that if we make up, we can come over to your place?” They circle you with hands perched on their hips.
Vertigo overtook you as you realised exactly what had just happened, looking down to find that all that Kaoru had wrote on the curse doll was 'blank'
“I’m so sorry, Kaoru. Even though I was just following our script, I said such awful things to you. I’m not fit to be your brother.” Hikaru caresses Kaoru by the cheek gently.
Kaoru reaches up and takes Hikaru’s face in his hands, “Don’t say that, Hikaru! I was worried. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever thought I had hurt you.”
“Kaoru, I’ll never let you go again!”
“Hikaru!”
You remain stood there, stunned at what was happening before you.
As the twins embrace, Honey flails his arms with squinted eyes, “You’ve gotta be kidding! You mean you guys were faking it this whole time?!” He screams.
You and Tamaki have fallen to your knees in defeat. Your fist tries its hardest to clench the ground, your head hanging between your shoulders.
“We didn’t have anything else to do, we were bored.”
Tamaki weakly lifts his head to observe them, “Twins with too much time on their hands…”
Hikaru and Kaoru both stick out their tongue at him, pulling a single eyelid down in a mocking way.
“…are the devil.”
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“I’m so glad they made up!” guests squeal in admiration.
With pink and blue hair, the twins encourage them, “Okay, it’s time to play the "which one is Hikaru” game!“ They smile widely.
A guest pipes up, "I know! The twin with the pink hair is Hikaru!” She announces proudly.
“We have a winner!” The twins have found that letting their guests win is also as much fun as watching them get them mixed up.
“So are you two going to keep your wild hair color even though you’ve made up? It’s much easier to tell the two of you apart now.”
Haruhi glances up as she strides past them, cocking an eyebrow as she observes their hair colour. They are not the same as they were yesterday.
“Huh, no, it isn’t.” she almost laughs as she stroll past, anticipating their reaction. They each hum boredly, watching her go. “Today, the pink one is Kaoru and Hikaru’s the blue one. You switched overnight huh?"
You hum in approval from nearby "You're finally catching on Haruhi" you congratulate her at being the second person to correctly tell the twins apart.
The twins freeze, staring at the two of you blankly as they realised that you both could truly tell which one was Hikaru.
"I think you broke them" Kyoya pointed out, glancing up from his notebook. You hum in agreement "Yes I think so" he smirks, placing the book down "I must admit it was quite interesting to see you lay into the twins like that, I've never seen you that angry before"
You shrug "I don't even know where it came from really, I guess something came over me" Kyoya pauses, smile slowly fading into a smirk "I'd look out , for a moment there it sounded like you care"
You laugh.
Maybe you did.
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Next time on patience 'The Gradeshool host is the naughty type!'
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