#I guess I’m getter better at feeling my feels?!?! I really don’t know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ahtsumu · 4 years ago

Text

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

��He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: [email protected]

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: [email protected]

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y��know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving.

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

#miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu scenarios #miya osamu imagines

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years ago

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As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.

#anon #woops #I probably shouldn't have written this much here but what can I say #I've got beef with these storylines #and I unfortunately can't bbq it (?)#so instead I ramble and ramble and hope you guys forgive me for how long-winded I can be :'D

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tobesolonely · 4 years ago

Text

muse

A/n: hello everyone!! im very excited to put this out :-) i was going to make a long one shot but ive never written anything multi-part before and i wanted to give it a go!! also my first time with an oc 🌟so i hope everyone enjoys!! not sure when the next part will come out but i wanna upload at least once a week or every two weeks or something idk haha but anywayssss lmk ur thoughts!

biggest, biggest thank u to my love @harryysstyless for beta reading and being so encouraging<333 luv u!!

photographer oc x harry styles

please let me know your thoughts on miss aminah, iman, serena, and harry!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

Los Angeles was your newest muse.

You had always been the spontaneous type. It came as no shock to your family and friends when you told them you had purchased a one-way ticket and were moving across the country. Although your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter moving so far away from them, they helped you withdraw your savings and find a modest apartment in LA before sending you on your way.

Your reason for moving to LA was simple, really. You were a freelance photographer that felt your career was growing rather… stagnant. You had a thick portfolio and were proud of the work you produced, but your clientele wasn’t as impressive as you’d hope it would be after nearly six years of working at it.

And so began your desire to move from New York to Los Angeles— one big city to the next.

People who knew you often described you as ambitious, fiery, and an absolute go-getter. If your big move scared you in any way, no one knew any better. Your confidence never faltered— not even in the slightest.

After nearly three months of being in LA, you developed a routine of sorts. You’d wake up, eat a breakfast that almost always consisted of avocado toast and coffee, and go on a run. After your run, you would come home, shower, and decide how far you wanted to venture to take pictures that day.

Sometimes your roommates, Serena and Iman, would join you to keep you company. Although you’d never met either one of them before answering their ad for a roommate on Craigslist, you had grown extremely close to the girls in the few months that you’d known them. Despite the two girls being friends since their childhood, they never made you feel left out, and you fit in with them effortlessly.

During your short time in the city, there were so many places you had been, but still, even more you had yet to see. Serena and Iman, both native Angelenos, would often suggest spots for you to check out and even offer to drive you around— you were from New York after all, and at twenty-four years old, you were still not the owner of a driver's license.

“You’ve never been to North Hollywood yet, right Aminah?” Iman questioned as you all lounged around, trying to come up with a place you had not yet been.

“No, I haven’t really gone anywhere farther than walking distance,” you reply, looking around the cramped living room for your camera bag. “Or the places you guys have driven me. That was still considered Downtown though, right? Where we went the other day?” You were still getting used to how absolutely massive Los Angeles was.

“We should go to Santa Monica or something— wait, Malibu!” Serena exclaims. “We have to go to Malibu, Mina. It’s so nice there, you could totally get a bunch of good shots.”

“Yeah, we might even see a celebrity!” Iman chimes in, stifling laughter.

It was an on-going joke between the three of you. When you first moved to LA, you told your roommates that you couldn’t wait to make your way around the city because you were hoping to run into a celebrity. It was Los Angeles after all— you figured they were everywhere.

You quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Celebrities here kept a low-profile and even if you did encounter a celebrity, it’s not like you would approach them. “You’re not funny, Iman,” you tell your roommate with a roll of your eyes.

“Yes I am,” Iman quips, wiggling her eyebrows. “If we’re gonna go to Malibu then I gotta change. Can I borrow a cute shirt from anyone?”

A short twenty minutes later, the three of you were piled in Serena’s car on your way to Malibu. You’d heard of the city before and knew it was a wealthy area, but that’s about it. Your roommates promised you that out of all the beaches in LA, Malibu had the nicest ones, and lots of places to take pictures. Since none of you had anything to do, you all decided it was as good a day as any to have a beach day and get some shots of your roommates to add to your portfolio. Since you didn’t know anyone except Serena and Iman, the pictures on your camera from the last few months consisted entirely of nature and inanimate objects. While it was good practice, you really preferred to photograph actual people.

“Traffic is so bad today,” you say from the backseat after traveling approximately two feet in five minutes. Iman snorts from the passenger side.

“When isn’t traffic bad, Mina,” she turns to look at you, an amused look on her face. “Don’t worry about it. It always gets backed up at this fuckin’ exit and then as soon as we get past it there’s like, zero traffic.”

“Right! I always complain about how shitty this exit is. I have no clue who designed it,” Serena adds, skipping through songs on her playlist. “It’s still early in the day, though. I’m just hoping the beach won’t be too crowded by the time we get there.”

“I don’t care how crowded the beach is. I just don’t want it to take us forty minutes to find parking…”

You tune out your roommate's voices, instead choosing to focus on the traffic jam outside the car. To Serena and Iman, people who were born and raised in Los Angeles, the city wasn’t necessarily anything special. Sure, they loved how there was always something to do, but the bad drivers, traffic, and smog got old. The novelty of LA hadn’t yet worn off to you, though. You didn’t know how your roommates were content to sit inside the apartment all day when there were tons of things to do basically right outside your doorstep. You felt like you were the one convincing them to go out with you half of the time, and you didn’t even know where you were going.

After what feels like almost entirely too long but was really only half an hour, Serena pulls into a fairly empty parking lot. “Are we not allowed to be here?”

“Why do you think that?” Iman asks, squinting her eyes to read a sign. “It doesn’t say it’s closed. I mean, there are a few cars–– look.” She points to a few cars scattered around the parking lot.

“I mean, it is nine in the morning on a Wednesday. People are probably at work,” you tell the two girls in the front seat. “Besides, there’s someone in the parking booth. Can you even close a beach?”

Serena drives forward, rolling down her window. “I mean, I guess not. You can close the parking lot, though.” You hum in agreement. She quickly pays for parking and tosses her receipt on the dashboard before driving slowly through the parking lot.

“I love when no one’s at the beach,” Iman sighs, clapping her hands. “No one will get in the way of your picture-taking either, Meens.”

You smile at the nickname. “Yeah, that’s true. We picked a perfect time to come too, guys. The lighting’s great.”

“Really? Is it gonna make my skin pop?” Iman turns around and sticks her arm out, sensually running her fingers along it.

“You always look good no matter what the lighting’s like, Iman,” you reply, refraining from rolling your eyes at her. “You have the glowiest complexion out of all of us.”

“We’re literally all the same skin-tone, Aminah,” she retorts, crossing her arms.

“We have different undertones, though,” you answer. “So not really. Plus, Serena is way lighter than us! What are you talking about?”

“Should I park here?” Serena asks, interrupting your conversation.

“Why here? All these empty spots and you wanna park directly next to this car?”

“This is a good spot, Iman. It’s a parking lot. If they didn’t want anyone to park next to them, they should’ve taken an Uber and got dropped off.” She turns into the spot, quickly putting the car in park and crossing her arms to prove her point.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, smiling at your friends’ bickering. They were so close they were basically sisters. They argued sometimes and were quick to call the other out on their shit, and you loved it.

“I just think you’re weird for parking next to this car. It’s a nice car.”

“Who cares, girl?” Serena groans, exasperated. “We’re gonna be on the beach. They’ll probably be gone before we will.” She pops the trunk before unplugging her phone from the aux cord and stepping outside. Iman mimics her before flinging the door open as well and stepping out of the car.

You make sure your camera bag is closed all the way before situating it over your shoulder and climbing out of the car as well.

“It’s kinda cold,” Iman says, wrapping her arms around her body. “If I knew it would be so overcast I would’ve bought a jacket.” Serena hums in agreement and you look up at the sky, unphased.

“It’s like, seventy degrees?” you look at the weather app on your phone in confirmation.

“We get it, Meens. You’re from New York,” Serena teases, closing her trunk. She hands you a few towels and a blanket to carry while she rolls the cooler and Iman carries the beach chairs and umbrella.

“It’s a cold seventy degrees and you know it,” Iman defends. “Look at my goosebumps. I can’t fake this shit.” You shake your head at your overly dramatic friends and follow them down to the beach. You take off your sandals as soon as you’re off the pavement, wiggling your toes in the cold sand.

“We can set up pretty much wherever we want,” Serena points out, tucking flyaway curls behind her ears. “Where do you think the best place to be is, Mina? Y’know, so you can get good pictures?”

“It doesn’t really matter, to be honest,” you tell them distractedly, too busy looking around the beach in awe. Your friends were right–– out of all the beaches you’d visited in Los Angeles so far, this one was the nicest (and cleanest). “Maybe we can get a little closer to the water?”

The three of you walk for a couple of minutes before Iman abruptly stops, dramatically dropping everything she was carrying. “Let’s just set up here. There’s no one around anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“There actually is someone around,” you tell them, looking at a stranger who seemed to be fixated on staring at you and your friends. “Don’t look, but a cute guy is staring at us.” Serena and Iman immediately turn around, shading their eyes from the bit of sun that was starting to peek through the clouds. The guy couldn’t have been more than twenty yards away from where you were setting up.

...“Huh,” Serena says, turning back around. “Is it just me, or does that guy look a lot like Harry Styles?” She looks back over her shoulder again, but he’s no longer staring at the three of you, focusing on what appeared to be a book instead.

“Why would Harry Styles be at the beach by himself at nine in the morning?” Iman asks, unfolding a beach chair and flopping down on it.

“Why wouldn’t he? It’s Malibu, dude,” Serena responds. You could tell your friends were about to start bickering again, so you quickly jump in.

“Doesn’t matter. Neither one of you would go up to him even if it was, so what’s the point in arguing about it?” They both raise their eyebrows at you.

“And you would, Mina? Bullshit!” Iman exclaims, laughing. “I dare you to go see if it’s him, and if it is, ask him if he wants to join us.”

“That’s weird! What if it’s not him?”

“Even if it’s not him, we’ll still get to hang out with a cute boy.” Iman points out. Serena nods in agreement and you can’t deny that she makes a convincing argument. “Just ask him if he wants a mimosa or something!”

“No, don’t ask that,” Serena interjects. “Tell him that you’re a photographer and you’re working on building a new portfolio. Ask him if he would be cool with you photographing him.”

You narrow your eyes at her. “Are you sure that’s not weird, Serena?”

“Aminah, trust me. I wouldn’t deliberately let you make yourself look weird.” Your roommate reassures you.

And so you found yourself clearing the short distance to where the handsome stranger was laid, half hoping it was Harry Styles, half hoping it was not. You couldn’t act like you weren’t a fan of him–– you thought he was incredibly attractive and enjoyed his music just like most people. If Harry Styles was the first celebrity you encountered during your short time in Los Angeles, you‘d never stop talking about it. Ever.

When you’re almost to him he looks up, dog-earring the page he’s on. After making eye contact with him, there’s no mistaking that this is Harry Styles. You pinch the back of your hand, urging yourself not to freak out. He has a knowing look on his face and you’re grateful for your darker complexion that hides your blush.

“Hi,” you speak first, stopping a few feet away from him. “Uh, my friends and I are just uh, we’re... you know.” You internally wince at your inability to form a coherent sentence. His gaze never breaks from yours and you look away first, growing shyer by the second. If you thought he was beautiful on Instagram, he was even more gorgeous in person. It was incredible.

“Hi,” he finally says after a brief moment of silence. “‘M sorry if I was starin’ at you ladies a moment ago. I jus’ usually never see anyone else this early out here. Are you a photographer?”

You almost ask him how he knows when you realize your camera is still hanging around your neck. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” He’s still staring intently at you.

“Would you like to sit?”

You look over your shoulder at Serena and Iman who were pretending to be preoccupied putting on sunscreen, but you know they were waiting for you to come back with the man you now knew to be Harry Styles.

“Oh, my friends are waiting for me,” Harry looks up at you patiently, waiting for you to continue speaking. “I was actually going to photograph them. I’m working on building up my portfolio. I understand if you can’t for… I dunno, legal reasons? Or if you just don’t want to–– and that’s fine if you don’t, but would it be okay if I photographed you as well?”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun. It’s kinda boring jus’ readin’ out here on my own,” he agrees quickly, surprising you. Harry stands up and stretches a bit before leaning down to gather up his blanket, towel, water bottle, and book. “What’s your name? I’m Harry.”

You know that Harry knows that you know exactly who he is, but the fact that he introduced himself to you makes him even more endearing. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Aminah.”

Harry extends his free hand to you. “It’s very nice to meet you, Aminah.” You love the way your name sounds coming out of his mouth.

As you approach Serena and Iman, their eyes go wide when they realize it really was him. Serena nudges Iman and you know without even having heard it that she’s saying, “I told you so!” Harry stops a bit behind you, smiling at them.

“Hello,” he starts. “S’okay if I join you ladies? Aminah here extended such a nice offer that I jus’ couldn’t pass it up, but wanna check with the two of you first.”

Serena’s mouth is shamelessly hanging open, and you realize that she may have been a bigger fan than she let on. Iman answers for them. “Of course! Mina’s building her portfolio and I bet it would look like, super cool, if you were a part of it!” Harry nods, setting the few things he had with him down.

“I don’t think I would even be the center of attention if ‘m sittin’ beside you beautiful ladies. I’ll jus’ act as a prop or something,” he flashes them a dimpled smile. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your names? I’m Harry.”

“We know,” Iman answers a little too quickly. “I’m Iman and this is Serena.” Serena gives him a timid wave.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you all. Are you guys from around here?” He lays his blanket beside all of your stuff and sits down cross-legged, not once breaking eye contact with any of you. You had no idea how he did it.

“We live Downtown. We’re only over here so Mina could get some good pictures, she’s a photographer,” Iman answers proudly. “She’s amazing, but she’ll never admit it.”

“Iman…,” you trail off. “Stop, dude.”

“It’s true,” Serena jumps into the conversation, now seemingly over the initial shock of who was sitting barely two feet away from her. “She’s the best photographer I know.” Harry turns to look at you, an amused look on his face.

“That’s a hefty claim. I can’t wait to see your photography skills, Aminah.”

“They’re just hyping me up,” you reply, making a mental note to yell at your friends for embarrassing you once the three of you were alone again. “I’m not that good.”

“That looks pretty professional to me,” Harry says, gesturing to the camera that has not yet left your neck since arriving at the beach. “I bet you’re just as good as they say you are.” You look away, hiding your face. Iman, being the wing woman she is, can tell you’re growing flustered from all the attention and moves the conversation away from you.

“Do any of y’all want a mimosa?” Before anyone can even answer her, she’s popping open the champagne and handing the orange juice to Serena to open. Harry politely declines, as he drove himself to the beach that morning. You and Iman are ultimately the only ones who indulge in a drink since you were the only ones not driving.

Talking to Harry was like catching up with an old friend. He wanted to know everything about the three of you and whenever he felt the conversation was becoming too much about him, he quickly changed the subject. Harry learned that Iman and Serena have been friends since the second grade when Iman pushed some boy off of the monkey bars for teasing Serena. He learned your favorite take-out spots, your favorite bars, and what freeways Iman and Serena tried to avoid at all cost (it was the 405, which he agreed with). What seemed to intrigue Harry the most, though, was him learning that you just moved from New York and had never even been to Los Angeles before moving.

“Why did you pick somewhere all the way across the country that you’d never even vacationed at before?” He had a look of confusion written across his face. You shrug, not really knowing the answer.

“I mean, I’ve seen it on TV shows and in movies. That doesn’t count?” you joke. Harry still looks utterly bewildered.

“I mean… no?”

Serena laughs. “We were just as confused as you were, Harry. We were scared for a moment when she moved in because we were like, oh shit, what if she’s insane? You know? Like, what sane person would move all the way across the country to live somewhere they’d never even vacationed before?”

You let out an offended, “heyyyy”, lightly smacking Serena’s thigh. “I just needed a change and I’m a drastic person! I either go all-in when I do something, or I just don’t do it at all.” You defend yourself.

“I actually think that’s really fuckin’ cool,” Harry says after a moment. “Sometimes I wish I could just… up an’ go. Y’know?” you all nod, and it falls silent again. “Well, should we take some pictures now?”

Any intimidation you felt to photograph Harry disappeared as soon as he started posing for you.

Being that he was a major celebrity, he was no stranger to posing for a photoshoot. Harry was ethereal–– you knew the pictures of him would most likely require minimal to no editing. Serena and Iman also looked incredible, and you were thankful to have such gorgeous people as your muses. You were taking pictures of them in various places around the beach, only stopping once it started getting too crowded. There were starting to be too many people in the background of your shots and Harry wanted to get going, not particularly in the mood to be recognized. The three of you decide you should get going too. You had more than enough pictures to go through and besides, you were all starting to grow hungry.

Harry follows the three of you to the parking lot, keeping his head down the entire way. The closer you got to Serena’s car, the sadder you got. You didn’t want to stop talking to Harry and photographing him. However, you knew you were just in the right place at the right time, and it was likely that you’d never cross paths with him any time soon–– if ever again.

“Thank you for letting me photograph you,” you tell him sincerely once you were almost to Serena’s car. “That was really kind of you. I can promise you I won’t post them anywhere without your permission or like, disclose the location or anything like that.”

Harry finally looks up, determining you were far enough away from the crowds and he was no longer at risk of getting recognized. “It was my pleasure, really. Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you and your friends. It was a lot of fun getting to know you all.” You feel your body heat up.

“Where did you park?”

“Right there,” Harry points straight ahead. “You?”

You let out a loud laugh, causing Serena and Iman, who was walking slightly ahead of you and Harry, to turn around and look at the two of you. “We parked right next to you! Iman was getting on Serena for parking next to you because the lot was pretty much empty when we got here this morning.”

Harry lets out a breathy chuckle. “I guess it’s fate that we crossed paths then, yeah?” You let out a quiet hum in agreement, stopping a few feet in front of Serena’s car. You hear her and Iman debating on where you should stop for lunch, but you were waiting to see what Harry would say next.

“Aminah? After you get a chance to look at those pictures, do you think you can send them to my manager? His name’s Jeff. I’d love to see how they come out.”

“Oh yeah, of course! Do you have his business card or something?” You were excited that Harry actually cared to see your work but based on the couple of hours you spent interacting with him, you learned he was just an overall insanely kind person.

“I can jus’ put his contact info in your phone? If you don’t mind,” his gaze falters, a sheepish look on his face.

“Totally! Let me just unlock my phone,” you dig in the pocket of your shorts, pulling your phone out and unlocking it with your face. You hand it over to him and while he’s looking down typing you glance over at your roommates who had shocked looks on their faces. You would explain to them later that he wasn’t giving you his number, just his managers, but for now, you’d let them think he was giving his number to you out of all people–– a total stranger.

Harry hands it back to you a few moments later, running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you again for such a great morning, Aminah. I’ll let you get goin’, don’t wanna hold you ladies up any longer,” he waves at Serena and Iman. “It was really nice to meet all of you. Hope to see you all again soon.” You notice that his gaze lingers on you for a moment when he says that, and you feel your body heat up for what must have been at least the tenth time that day.

The three of you watch as Harry unlocks his car and throws his items haphazardly into the passenger side before climbing in, slamming the door shut. His car starts immediately afterwards and he gives you a quick nod before quickly backing out of the spot, leaving. None of you say anything for a bit, just processing what just happened. Serena is the first one to speak, her hand on the handle of her car door.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Harry fucking Styles?” her voice raises at least two octaves and you know she’s about to have a mini freakout. “Did he ask for your number, Meens?”

“No dude, he just gave me his manager's number. He wants to see how the pictures come out after I edit them,” you tell her, opening the backseat of her car. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Uh, that’s definitely a big deal, Aminah. Stop being so humble,” Iman tells you, exaggerated annoyance lacing her voice. “Did you see how he looked at you? When he said, ‘Hope to see you all again soon’?” She puts on a terrible posh accent.

“You’re so annoying,” you groan, shaking out the blanket and beach towels before throwing them onto the seat. “Where are we gonna eat?”

Iman and Serena pile into the car as well, telling you about the three restaurants they were stuck choosing between. You hum distractedly, typing the name ‘Jeff’ into your contacts to see if Harry left a number and an email, or just an email. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you see the name is nowhere to be found in your contact list. You chalk up the mistake to Harry just forgetting to press ‘save’ after creating the contact and figure you can just find his manager’s contact information on the internet somewhere. As you’re scrolling back up through your contact list, your eye lands on a name that makes your breath hitch in your throat.

Harry Styles.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles x oc #harry styles one shot #uhhh idk what else to tag this #enjoy!!

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outoftheblue-if · 3 years ago

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I’ll ask this on main, since I’ve already been perceived lmao

Who would the OotB ROs get along least with out of the Citadel ROs and the Scandal ROs?

Ooof, Bouncy! How can you ask me this?? I love all of them, and so would my babies. Fine, I'll do it.

For @bouncyballcitadel's amazing world and characters:

Isobel: Hmm, I think maybe Eli? Isobel would probably be a little annoyed by how cowardly they are in regards to MC (lol, sorry Eli). She’s very much a go-getter herself, so she would not be impressed. Also, Eli is a bit of a clown, we all know that, it’s on brand for them, whereas Isobel is pretty serious, so they probably wouldn’t have too much in common lol.

Max: Maybe Vic? Vic comes across a bit… how do I put this gently... asshole-y? (Lmao, I always bash Vic here, I’m sorry. I’m a Vic simp in my heart, I swear), so they’re pretty different in demeanour and attitude. Vic is also super serious and all about work, whereas Max is more play and fun, so they probably wouldn’t have a lot in common.

Clara: Erika lol. Clara is generally inclined to like/get along with everyone, but I guess out of all the Citadel ROs… maybe Dr. Sloan? I think Clara would honestly be a little intimidated by Sloan, and probably wouldn’t get along too well with Sloan’s bluntness and forthrightness. She might think Sloan was a little unnecessarily mean even, so until she got to know Ivy better, she probably wouldn’t get along too well with her.

Richard: Definitely Erika. Hmm, tricky tricky… Perhaps Davy? I mean, Davy is pretty closed off, and so is Richard, so the conversation might not flow too easily lol. Davy can also be a bit of a flirt and is very much into casual relationships, which isn’t something Richard is into, so he would likely frown at that. They could find common ground in fitness though, I guess?

William: Probably Erika. I mean, William is also generally inclined to like everyone, unless they’re terrible people? I already ship William with both Davy and Vic, so none of them. William would adore Jean, and honestly probably would get along really well with Dr. Sloan, he’s also really into cooking, and I see no reason for William to dislike Eli, so that leaves… Dr. Grey? Grey can be a bit of a shark though, which is very different from William, and he did kinda prioritise work over family, which would be a big turn off for William lol. Sooo… I guess Dr. Grey :(

For @nightingale-interactive's incredible world and characters:

Isobel: I think… Perhaps… Quinn? I think there would be very little talking involved with these too naturally if they were alone, they might just sit and calculate/inspect each other through narrowed eyes lol. Trying to get a read on each other. Isobel would be really impressed with F!Quinn though, given the career they have and how far they’ve risen.

Max: I suppose maybe Quinn? Quinn is pretty serious and dutiful, which is a stark contrast to Max’ carefree nature, so they might not get along too well on that account. Max might have a hard time connecting with them, and they might clinch a little at first?

Clara: Again, generally inclined to get along with everyone, so I don’t know… I’m gonna have to say Quinn again, though I don’t think she wouldn’t get along with them, I just think she would get along more with the others?

Richard: Hmm, I think I’ll have to go for Alcina? Again, mainly just because I see him getting along better with the others, I don’t think he would dislike Alcina at all. If anything, he might be a little too awestruck/respectful of her to be able to become friendly with her? He might feel even more respectful of her than the President, because she’s The First Lady, so she’s above him hierarchically as a military man, and she’s also female.

William: Hm, I’m inclined to say Alcina for him too. Not because he wouldn’t like her, but because he too would be a little too awestruck/respectful of her to be able to relax around her. She is a little intimidating. He’s also very mindful of where he is at on the hierarchical ladder, so he would probably feel like she was far above his station (though I know she wouldn’t care about that herself, bless her).

I guess everyone loves Christian and Stephen! I'm sorry Quinn, you're my one and only though, I swear 🤎

Thanks for this cursed and torturous ask, chaos ball! ✨🤎

#ask #ootb:crossover #citadel #scandal #god this was so hard #help #i love all of them #finding reasons not too was rough #isobelclaymoore #maxwinthrope #clarahamilton #richardwinfield #williamtaylor

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ghostgothgeek · 3 years ago

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Hi, I'm sorry if this ask bothers you, and I hope it doesn't give you trouble, but I've been thinking and I just need to get this outta my chest.

A lot of Sam criticism comes from Sam "not acknowledging her mistakes", and I can't help but think that's a result of her not apologising as explicitly as people want?

I first want to clear up that I love Sam and believe this is BS, because she does acknowledge when she's wrong. But I wanted to dwell on the why of this belief.

The only "problem" is that her way of apologising is usually not your typical sorry. This is actually common in cartoons. Saying sorry is important and should be featured more often, but storytelling tends to prefer using actions over words because it gives a certain symbolism to it.

Case on point, in Girls' Night Out, Sam's way of apologising to Jazz for not trusting her abilities as ghost hunter is to follow her plan and, most importantly, to acknowledge her as Ghost Getter #1. Something Jazz even beamed at. And that helped them bond.

Sorry this got long, may I ask your opinion on it? If you don't want to answer, that's okay, thank you for your time 💖

Hi @geekgirles! I’m so so sorry it took me this long to reply - I’ve been really busy getting back to work! I also wanted to rewatch this episode both for fun and also to better answer this.

Firstly, you are not bothering me at all and this isn’t too long! I’m seriously so honored you would ask for my opinion!

Also, you bring up a good point. I never really thought of that. Sam is a lot more mature than Danny and Tucker, so it would make sense that she knows actions speak louder than words.

Also I actually love this episode. The only downside is the forced tension between Sam and Jazz, and I say forced because they get along well in all the other episodes. They just had it for a plot point in this episode because Sam and Danny were getting closer to being a couple, and I guess she needed “family approval” even though she basically lives at Fenton Works already. It was definitely forced tension, which honestly is stupid and I hate it. But also, some of the best lines are in this episode!

“What was that?”

“What? You think you’re the only one who can drive men away?”

“One of us is gonna have to dress up like a boy.”

“Oh come on, it’s because I wear boots right?”

“Wow.”

“Frightened now?”

“No, I can’t believe you have a girlfriend.”

“Uh, why are all these women armed?”

Seeing all the women, human and ghost, team up is amazing and hilarious. Its cool to see how ghost powers can combine.

It’s also hilarious to have all the couples - Danny and Sam, Johnny and Kitty, Ember and Skulker, Spectra and Bertram, even Jack and Maddie (and the friendship between Dash and Kwan, the mother/daughter relationship between Jazz and Maddie, and the father/son relationship between Jack and Danny). In the end, everyone learns a little something about someone else, which is both dope and a great lesson and character development.

Anyways, back to Sam and Jazz in this episode. Tucker is also kinda standoffish to Jazz, it’s not just Sam. Sam is a bit more sassy (when is she not?) but Tucker is also rejecting Jazz. I think Sam is justified to be worried about Jazz joining the team (she doesn’t have as much experience fighting ghosts, earlier in the series she wanted nothing to do with ghost hunting, when she tries to help she usually sucks Danny in the thermos) even though Jazz is improving. I don’t think Sam had the right to be kinda nasty towards Jazz, but it is also kinda Sam’s character to be like that towards anyone who isn’t Danny and Tucker. But again, the tension between the girls was forced in this episode, because Tucker was hesitant towards Jazz too and yet the focus of the episode is on Jazz and Sam.

I’ll get to the apology thing, but I think something I see often other than “Sam doesn’t apologize” is “Sam always ends up being right so it reinforces her bad behavior” - which I still don’t get. Now the apology. The example you brought to this conversation is a perfect instance of Sam being wrong and admitting it. She tells Jazz good job when Jazz is excited her plan worked, and called her ghost getter #1. They are shown complimenting each other later on and going out for ice cream together. You are correct - in her actions, Sam has not only admitted she was wrong and apologized, but she also accepts and compliments Jazz, and vice verse. Sam may not have said “I’m sorry, I was wrong” like she did to Paulina in Parental Bonding, but actions can speak louder than words. It’s one thing to say “I was wrong sorry” and not really mean it versus actually enthusiastically accepting and complimenting Jazz both for her plan and how well she handled the equipment. At the end of the episode, I think it’s safe to call them friends, and not just sister and best friend of Danny.

Another thing I’d like to point out: we’ve seen Sam use the bazooka and Jazz use the ghost peeler, but in this episode they are essentially using each other’s weapons and complimenting each other on how great the other is doing (can I just say that Sam with the ghost peeler is fucking badass). That’s mutual respect and approval. It’s better than just an admission of being wrong and an apology.

So between this, her apology to Paulina in Parental Bonding, and even her literally saying “you were right” to Danny in DCMH, you could argue that Sam DOES have some character development throughout the show. I’m sure we would have seen much more of the series wasn’t cut short by BH’s selfishness. I think that if there were to be more seasons before forcing the ending in season 3/Phantom Planet, we would have seen more character development in general, particularly with Sam, and I also think the Danny/Sam relationship wouldn’t have seemed as forced as most people see it now. I’m positive that there was seasons of development for their relationship, and the writers basically had to go from chapter 5 to the end of a 60 chapter book in essentially 10 short episodes. Season 3 was rushed, but I understand how the writers still wanted to get to their end game plans for the show to try and tie up loose ends. I think we can all agree that the show did not end gracefully or the way any of us wanted, but remember it is because they were forced to shove so much plot that should go on for seasons into like a third of a season because they were cancelled. It got messy and therefore the execution was poor.

Anyway, that’s way more analysis than you asked for (sorry), but yeah, I can agree with Sam’s form of apologizing not being as straight forward as some would have liked. I hope this answers your question! Feel free to hit me with more!

#danny phantom #sam manson #girls night out #analysis #ask stephanie #stephanie shares things

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quickienewyork · 4 years ago

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So I'm not sure why I'm asking you this or even if this is an ask. I'm just sitting here feeling all kinds of dejected and rejected. I guess lonely. Ever feel that there's a lot of people in your life but none you can really talk to? Yeah, anyway, here I am alone again. Your writing helps, thanks.

Oh those are some of my least favorite feelings and I can strongly relate. Especially during this last year when the world has been on fire.

I’ve struggled with feeling lonely and out of place for much of my life, never finding one group where I felt like I truly belonged. I eventually found that I make friends with individuals more easily than I fit into a scene or group and some of those friendships have lasted decades.

Recently, it’s been especially hard to reach out to folks, or to know who to talk to. So many people are hurting and most of us don’t want to be a burden. But I try on occasion, and usually there is someone on the end who is also feeling alone. So keep on reaching out whenever you can; I’m guessing you have friends who are feeling the same way.

I hope you feel better and find good ways to spend time with yourself and connect with those you care about it.

I’m glad reading is helping (I’ve been lost in the first four books of the Stormlight Archives) and I hope you continue to find words that at least distract if not heal.

Lots of hugs to you friend and here’s to things getter better, finding new connections, and getting a break from the things that hurt.

Love to you,

Guy

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grahamcarmen · 4 years ago

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Hi, so I just finished the new season today! I have so many thoughts, the last few episodes felt kind of rushed? I wished they had gone about the whole situation between Gray and Carm at the end differently. More so on seeing them reunited. My biggest question, is why was he so quick on going back to VILE? He knew what they were capable of yes, was it to feed his criminal impulses? Why did ever want to steal in the first place? What led him to that conclusion and how did he learn of VILE? I was keen on seeing more of his backstory, and still need time to let the story simmer so I can analyze it more. It's just confusing. I guess it's just because the show ended that I feel so bittersweet y'know. What do you think Carmen would've done after they all disbanded? How could she leave them so quickly after she just got back to Team Carmen in the end? Besides wanting to see her mother. I was hoping they'd at least stay together.

i think that more than a few people feel that ( the knee jerk incredulity at her just leaving them a note and yeeting was real)

like disclaimer again: i do love carmen and this season this is just expanding on some little ??’s

on gray and “thinking gray.”: I was also feeling the lackluster on the payoff motivation wise for gray returning to VILE ( which was definitely needed as he was the secret weapon needed to finally get evil carmen back and at least partially inevitable due to ownership of the choices yadadadada )but like when he finally got his memories back he just repeated some things that i never really doubted. that gray did this of his own free will, he probably is of a lower empathy in general (which does not mean incapable of caring and doing the right thing. just that..~~~), that he regretted hurting carmen. in s1 he says his primary motivation as making more money and i was like”mmhmm fits.” being a thief and all and why not since they hadn’t introduced the big “needs to be able to tie up loose ends.” as a operative qualifier to anyone, including some of the recruits there. the only newer thing was his video that he seeked them out. which is interesting and all but sets him up as a go-getter so its so confusing that he’d choose to return to VILE ...a place where he was hurt and is so freaking selfish with what capers they choose to pursue. i kinda went on a tangent on another post that there is a theme of using a false sense of bonding to give them a little more loyalty which is like really heavy considering that means offering a “home” to what looks like operatives who might all be orphans but i don’t think it was highlighted enough to say “HEY YO” even tho GRAY LOOKS SO TIRED TO LEARN ABOUT HIS PAST WITH VILE

its really interesting because of the 3 people who had access to him/nature we got; carmen who only encouraged his desire to help (for the kiddos, for her safety, for assuring her that they were in...whatever... together, and make sure that they weren’t being secret spy jerks) ACME who got like...0 usefulness (riperonis ma guys), and VILE with maelstrom just hammering home all his shadier deeds with “YEAH THIS IS YOU.” AND HIM JUST ACCEPTING IT AFTER SITTING FOR A LONG AF TIME ALONE.

and when this was happening I was thinking about this analysis from another fandom about characters who resign to the law of the strong which could have been a reason for why gray doesn’t seem to hold the consequences for his failure against VILE even though he really should. (if they bothered but listen-)

its something that happens when characters choose to live in worlds they know are unfair, know that they choose to lie and steal and cheat, and thus should not be surprised or hurt when it happens to them in return. which of course lead to them not knowing where to draw the line on what happens to them...and i mean this in like some narratives usually go (hahaha no thats messed up please gtfo being treated like that is not ok and in allowing others to define your limits you are whittling yourself away). and they decide to live in resignation that. i am capable of bad... so i AM bad. (I am that guy. i’ve always been that guy) and makes them absolutely ripe for the (but you’ve been good . you can choose to be better. it won’t erase the wrongs of the past but it will make for a better future)

but that still leaves exploration of “WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE BY THE LAW OF THE STRONG??” and you know...not having anyone to rely on, poverty, or what was simple rebelliousness turning to darker and darker paths, are some easy reasons to put a spotlight on maybe our operatives having depth and like..arcs. especially any of those reasons combined. ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE WHAT VILE CONSISTENTLY IS SHOWN OFFERING. (shadowsan really is their s-tier character huh)

which i really thought this show would go for when a shivering brunt who is loyal and protective asked if she was really going to be left behind or remember how unsympathetic most of them seemed to see carmen chloroformed because “she did interrupt our heist.” meaning that they understand this world. probably have understood it for longer than anyone should. (antonio being content as a “pawn” is the tenant in my head today) and why shouldn’t more money be important. or honestly how simple it was to accept that someone would just need more money.

with gray they introduced that he could be good and he could be bad but like leaned into “no all that niceness was fake and he’s bad.” due to the hyper specificity of the mind wipe apparently? which also leans into really flat interpretation of evil!carmen (i just mean that there is a lot there ...) meaning theres no really exploration of him and more of a judgment (even though he’s shown to be kind, snarky, and upfront, as himself without a mind wipe.) and then we wait...

the pacing of the last 2 episodes: adrenaline bebe!!! but also there were so many concepts being introduced and resolved and skimmed past so that it is a little confusing at some conclusions. like the scene you’re talking about where carmen just leaves a note and ghosts is like 30 seconds and thats a lot to unpack because ?? i’m really thinking that it might have been insinuating that carmen left them the pen specifically to give them a new home to wait for her because she was going on that little break like she planned (and they knew was the endgoal) because it was behind her note and presumably placed by her but because i was focusing on the letter goodbye like ??? i thought for some reason that it was zack saying he would now like to try ACME because HE thought of it and i was like ??when did you consider this?? and 3rd watch i was finally “ahhh ok ok i think i get it.”

another bitten off scene i think might have been when gray in his first mission is already exhibiting signs of going...”huh this is not good.”

from stopping carmen from unprofessionalism to seeing that new carmen is willing to up and leave the group for mental gymnastics instead of relying on them 100% to going to the ferris wheel where he DEFINITELY SAW HER TRYING TO KILL A CIVILIAN since it showed his reaction after ivy’s. and then it turn to team red because how they feel about it definately matters more than gray but its also so easy to miss that choosing to have gray witness that as the start of what makes him turn himself in (maybe this is just a possible interpretation and its midnight ok)

evil carmen! lost her empathy. ok. so then like thats a static judgment about how they’re gonna make her do bad stuff and she still absolutely cares about her history and VILE still needed to enforce bonding and giving her memories that they comforted her and gave her her coat so thats why she cares about it and her anger at betrayal and sense of loss that she still throws right in shadowsans face when “evil”

carmen thought she crossed a personal line?? like jeeeeeez that’s 6 months of crossing lines and the most recent and horrifying one happened like not even a minute ago and then 5 seconds later we get chief and her reconciling because yes it needed to happen so we’re not gonna address how traumatizing it was or

VILE JUST WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN HUH??

and all these things are important and have the groundwork for happening but man they just happen one after the other and its like

before moving on to the next thing and like let me breathe omg

and yeah that means that so many people were left confused because the show about family (carmen’s family that SHE built ) seemed to disband for carmen to go to see her mother at last alone, shadowsan to go to his brother and a heartbroken pair of red heads to join ACME

and we get a time gap before reuniting but only a few seconds to decide if reuniting was the plan all along(the pressure point)

and there is a lot of actual IN TIME that is broad strokes that many people have already picked whats going to haunt them that wasn’t explored more...

TLDR; i get it on both counts (gray and rushed)! glad there was some sweet in your bittersweet and since canon definitely had team red in the same place they absolutely reunited and moved back into the shop and carmen talked to them about how great her mom is and planned a dinner

#red crackle thoughts #not really red crackle but #ask #midnight me needs to learn what brevity is i swear #cs spoilers #also i am notorious at clipping my pwn thoughts #some of the context in my head didnt make it to being typed i am so sorry

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god-fucking-dammit-mizutani · 4 years ago

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What are some of your favorite things about Taishiro?

I was about 2K in when I realized this could have simply been a short list but since I’m the Queen of Not Shutting TF Up, here’s some terribly rambly not-quite-meta:

1. Their characters! I really think as separate characters they’re really fun to sit down with and just consider what makes them tick. It’s been years since I dipped my toes back into the fandom and I have honestly never been bored of them. I love a lot about the other characters of course, but there’s something about Taichi and Koushirou and their stories and their growth and development that feels — I don’t know, timeless? To me, at least. I also just think Koushirou’s arc is Really Important in general, but that’s for another time. I also love the way they interact in the canon and how their personalities kind of work with each other which leads me to:

2. Their Dynamic! It’s easy to say they’re the quintessential Lovable Jock and Nerd archetypes, but overall I think one of the biggest appeals to me is how they don’t really fall back on typical tropes too much and they honestly compliment each other as characters rather than contrast. I think in the digital world specifically they were both on equal footing— they were both pretty important exactly for the reasons that made them different. Taichi was a people person, so he led them. He was a go-getter so he fought with raw power and heart. Koushirou was a thinker, a planner, and so he used his skills and knowledge to unlock secrets, to get them home, to understand their circumstances more. It could have led to a lot more fighting and shrugging each other off to see which side worked better: brawn or brains. Not to say they didn’t have squabbles, but the above was never really the exact conflict in itself iirc? There were quite a few times Taichi had to lean back on Koushirou’s skills and ask him for help, and there were plenty of times most of the kids relied on Taichi and Agumon’s strength— but that didn’t mean Koushirou shied away from fighting either (let’s not talk about the clown episodes pls). They fill in for each other’s weaknesses and I think that’s both in the digital world and just their relationship overall. Koushirou is more calm, more collected and strategic, more of a listener, and Taichi is the more brash, the more emotional one for better or worse, sometimes more optimistic to Koushirou’s realism, which I think evens out in some way. This also kind of feeds into how I feel that:

3. They better each other! Taichi has a bit of an impulsivity issue with a yo-yoing icarus complex. His heart is always in the right place, I believe, but sometimes his action takes precedent or he gets swept up or overwhelmed to the point of frustration-- which I think is where we see his occasional outbursts of anger or complete dejection. Personally I think he needs someone steady; more reasonable to even him out when things get too much. There’s a scene in the novels about the Nanomon part where Sora even thinks as much: “If Taichi didn’t have at least one person around to scold him and shake him up, he would never get back on his feet.” She thinks she’s the only who fits the bill in this particular scene at least (her attempt doesn’t work but overall I agree she’s a really steadying presence for Taichi, too), but I do also personally think it also spells out Koushirou fairly well. One thing I’ve kind of noticed, and it might just be my own poor interpretation/memory or something idk, is that he never really feeds too much into Taichi’s anger. He might be some part of the cause or the receiver of his frustration at times, but he doesn’t feed it back with the same level of anger and fists and I think that helps Taichi a lot. Most of the time Taichi seems to understand what he did wrong right after losing his temper, apologizes, lets out some of his frustration through venting maybe, and then they feel like they move on. Koushirou doesn’t throw it back in his face, but he doesn’t necessarily openly excuse it either (usually appearing more Stern I guess when speaking back), and Taichi doesn’t come off like he’s been secretly agitated by Koushirou for five hundred years— like it generally seems just a product of the time, like it stemmed from outside frustrations and internal struggles and they find a way to move on. And even with all the respect he shows towards Taichi, I don’t think Koushirou is blinded by it. For all his issues with people and believing he can’t know them without knowing himself, I think Koushirou is actually pretty good at reading people to a certain degree (maybe not all of their cues, but definitely them on a core basis). There’s a scene in the novels where Yamato tries to vy for the leadership position, telling Taichi he’s too soft-hearted, and Koushirou jumps up immediately to Shut It Down, specifically saying he won’t recognize anyone else but Taichi. Surprised by this, Yamato tries to spin it as Koushirou just being one of “Taichi’s fans”, to which he also Shuts That The Fuck Down with an accurate description of why Yamato could never replace Taichi (spoiler: it’s that he’s too emotional and Yamato concedes because he can’t argue lmao). There’s a specific line in that scene which says Koushirou, “wasn’t speaking out of loyalty to any one party,” so I think the point of it all is that, objectively, Koushirou believes Taichi is the best leader solely because of his qualities and not just because of Koushirou’s own personal biases. He’s loyal to Taichi because he knows him, trusts him, and believes in him as a person (and he’s so right to). I really don’t think it’s some sort of hero worship-- I think Koushirou can look at Taichi and see all the cracks in his armor, but instead of hollow space he sees potential; he sees the pieces welded together with gold and all the good Taichi wants to do, can do, will do, and Koushirou is willing to support him, which sometimes means telling Taichi when he’s faltered along the path and not just going along with it. I just think this is a pretty profound thing from a character who spends a lot of time distancing himself from others, including his parents up until the episode they hash things out. Essentially I think he wants the best for Taichi and he’s not going to pull the proverbial punches when needed, and I think that’s good for Taichi on an emotional level sometimes. Like his mellow compliment. He respects Taichi, and the thing is, I feel like Taichi respects him in kind. I know there’s a scene where Koushirou gets mad at him and Taichi is like, “No please don’t be,” in 02 but I’m drawing a blank as to the why right now (it’s been longer since I rewatched that than 01 haha)… but it’s a very big difference imho on how Taichi reacts to other people being angry at him. Like, he doesn’t want to disappoint Koushirou, like his opinion of Taichi matters to him. I think Hikari falls into this, too, and Sora probably, but just not the point of this post. But in general Taichi realizes Koushirou’s strengths and utilizes them. The biggest example is when they try to open the gate and Taichi asks Koushirou for his opinion on how to place the cards. This flusters Koushirou because he’s not exactly an attention seeker. Nothing he has done in the series has been towards the goal of recognition-- just simply knowledge. And Taichi knows this. He knows Koushirou is smart and lifts him up and literally tells him he’s important and the group openly agrees (here’s also how the manhwa interpreted it lmao). It is so much more blatant in the 2020!Digimon series lmao but I do think it’s sprinkled in the OG series, too, with the kids being a little less overt and little more Complicated regarding these kinds of interactions. Also on the subject of bettering each other, Taichi is the sole reason Koushirou decides to go to the camp in the first place. This is something that used to be explored in a looott of fics back in the Hay Day but essentially my point here is: Taichi is someone who will bring Koushirou out of his comfort zone, but I don’t think he’d actually intend or suggest something that would bring him discomfort. The camp itself is very blatantly not Koushirou’s Scene, but we know he doesn’t make decisions lightly. He doesn’t do it to advance his social skills, either. He does it because Taichi asked him to and he trusts Taichi enough to have his best interests at heart and I think it does in some way lend to Koushirou coming out of his shell overall. But again, that could just be me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4. They trust each other! I went through a lot of that above I think so I don’t have more to add at the moment, but it’s worth pointing out specifically.

5. They’re also not Perfect! Sounds counter intuitive from everything else I’ve said, but it’s true?? It makes thinking about their dynamic really interesting and fun to explore because they feel more like real people with flaws and their relationships with each other and others have flaws and I just love when shows can do that?? Like just give subtle enough nuances to characters and their relationships so they just feel more realistic— like you could meet another person like any of them off the street?? I digresssss. But more specifically for taishirou it makes wanting to explore their relationship more interesting— what would happen in this one scenario? What is it like when they grow older? I think for instance communication is probably an issue of sorts between them for a while. I can’t come up with the words for it right now and there’s been better stated meta before haha, but I do especially think that Koushirou would have a hard time opening up on a more emotional level for some years and Taichi would eventually begin to see that in some way as rejection until he felt the need to say/do something about it. Like I think, accidentally, Koushirou keeps some of his walls up and maybe while Taichi’s scaled most of them effortlessly, there’s like a glass left that if they’re not trying to see it, almost looks like it’s not there. If that makes sense? But this isn’t something I think is permanent, because I think there’s a section in the novels, too, where Taichi is elated that Koushirou speaks openly and honestly with him, something like, “It made me happy you spoke so casually to me, like you opened your heart to me.” So I think in a matter of time Koushirou would open up more, it’s just hard because he struggles with a lot of self worth and just… existential dread—this child I swear??? But I’m very interested in considering how they grow more, grow into each other, the way they’d learn to work better together not only on saving the world, but I don’t know like, splitting up the chores. Better people have put better words together, but I tried…!

6. Friendship is a wonderful basis for a romantic relationship! It doesn’t have to be the basis of every ship/relationship, but I think it’s a grand thing to forge as a foundation and merged with everything above just makes it better to me. They can be best friends and lovers haha. Also just childhood friends into lovers is still a good trope, yes, thank you. But, I do also love their friendship just as friendship. Again, I just really love their dynamic on the whole—I just also really love them being in love lmao.

7. They fit a “Quiet, but profound” love kind of feeling for me and it will be my end! Again this is personal interpretation, but the way I kind of feel about them is that they’re this very quiet sort of love. Like it’s There and it’s grand, but it’s not as loud as some others might be. It’s small smiles and the brush of their hands, it’s the silent, “Are you alright?” It’s dinner reheated and left by the computer; a small neck massage because Taichi sees the way Koushirou’s scrunching his eyebrows together and that means he’s going to get a headache. It’s Koushirou deciding to buy expensive tickets for a soccer match, not because he’s dying to go, but because he wants to enjoy something with Taichi that he enjoys and it’s worth the pretty penny (still not over this being technically canon). It’s the quiet stare when Taichi comes home and everything’s overwhelming and Koushirou just knows he needs to talk it out, for someone to listen. It’s looking at the other person, knowing them, seeing all the cracks and thinking, “I want to wake up to this every morning.” It’s a gradual thing, but it’s also a built thing. Years of self discovery and growth, of being at each other’s side, of integrating into each other’s lives so that it’s just all natural. Years of mutual pining. Because I’m human and I need this.

8. They fit this quote and it fucks me up:

Obviously none of this is to down play the enormous help that Agumon and Tentomon were to their respective growth. I also think the rest of the cast is wonderful and unique in their own way. Like I think Yamato pushes Taichi to Do Better in his own way, is the perfect foil, but also friend who much later on kind of Gets Him on a level others don’t necessarily, you know?? I honestly Love Them All So Much, I just…. feel like I need to point that out haha. But there is something special in the Taichi/Koushirou dynamic that has kept me invested for over a decade and I’m terrible at the meta/word thing but these are definitely some of the things I love about the ship.

#taishirou #taishiro #otp: the only exception #Digimon is a Fun Series #I always doubt things as soon I write or think them so I hope all of this makes sense hahaaa #Also thanks so much for the question anon it was definitely a fun thing to think about #Thank you so much!!#Sorry if this was completely off base haha

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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i realized by the third ep bc i wasnt totally paying attn the first time and im having the most traumatic month ever that adachi like....actually is a go-getter. he just thinks he isnt.

in the show he is older than i am but we are basically the same age. i've been loud, outspoken, tall, commandeering, and been a leader when i have to be. but if i had nothing pushing me? i know who i become. adachi got a job and does good work even if he believes he doesn't. that's not something i achieve or cuold do necessarily. he keeps his job, people like him, even if they walk over him, he's just you know. him.

but when he chases after kurosawa i never realiezd...like i would never do that. that's just not who i am and i wouldn't be able to do what he did. he thought about how much courage it took but, and this isn't in a bad way, he was like "WOW I DID IT!" but he fucking did it! he does it!

it takes me ages, i must deliberate, i have to think think think. he and i are different and lead different lives; he's more stable than i am financially and securely and he did that all on his own. it's weird to have someone so conflicted but be way more of a go-getter. i put on bravado but am extremely reserved and i would just take my time. if i had his ability i wouldnt do fucking shit about it. i'd be like ok time for EVERYONE to get the FUCK away from me and for me to like. go to a brothel. he handles it cooly and well. idk like....adachi is a lot cooler than he thinks. and i know he finds out what people truly think of him but seriously he's a chill fucking dude. he's also fucking hilarious. i'm glad people got to know him.

i am contemplating torrenting this in 1080p because it's too gorgeous to have it compressed to 720p and it really takes away from my experience because i think this is filmed very well but i can't exactly tell. it's a lot more complex than i remember it being but i was like....watching 5million things at the time. i wanted to take my time.

the thing about asian dramas and bl and stuff is that it's mine to do. i don't feel pressure because most people i know don't watch it. i can find my own thoughts and talk about them. i don't have FOMO really but if i do i will just....stop watching for months. it teaches me to slow the fuck down . it's better when not everyone around me knows because i don't feel this pressure it's just me.

i love films and well-made productions (not a huge tv fan) but asian dramas have allowed me to slow down. that doesn't mean they aren't without their extreme fucking challenges as someone who respects herself and the people that are marginalized the most. but it's good to fucking SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

i'm sad tho bc i hate watching films alone and not in theaters so i become consuming way more asian media than i would like because that shuts me off to my people and the world too. but then again it's a bit of an escape even if it covers heavy topics i guess. sometimes. i think i turn to it the most when i cannot handle the heaviness of the world and feeling like being a black woman is going to drown me even if i am so proud.

there's a lot of cross-solidarity btw which is why so many black people do flock to the media. it isn't that we don't know we're being exploited and laughed at many times, or if we're fat etc, it's that there's an underlying struggle as well. still, it sucks to be reminded of our differences as well.

cherry magic is a really good example of a concrete world and a dreamy one and i think a person on MDL said this about it; to them it feels so like manga-y, very japanese, what they remember growing up on (ik it was a manga lol) and i think they get that right. also like....real actors. i don't necessarily feel the same way about ITSAY, but i think there's a lot less solace there. i've been asking people about what they think about ITSAY like what their issues with it were bc im genuinely fascinated to know bc visually taht story is really just...impeccable. tight writing. but there's something that is off that i don't feel with CM. there's a couple of reasons why but. anyways i am hungry and going on to ep 4. i cannot believe that guy who is adachi's friend is my age. ok he is not 30. HE LOOKS 35.

also if anyone watchedwe best love, doesn't the dude that's adachi's senpai who asks him to do too much work (this is where he and i differ, i would straight up be like hmmm probably not even in a work setting lmao) look like the guy from wbl?!?!?!?!?!??!?! u know the one

#i dont have complaints about this show bc it's good and doesnt offend me right away and i have very ltitle to say about it technically #lmao #fucking idiots #cherry magic

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changbin-froggy-jimin · 4 years ago

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BTS and Ateez for the kpop group game ! 💜

Ateez:

My first bias: Hongjoong <3 it was the mullet <3

My current bias: Hongjoong <3 still sexy without the mullet <3

Favorite Song: Win, I love this one!! In another life I would have probably said HALA HALA but I’ve listened to it too much lol, but honestly minus celebration the whole Fever 2 album is AMAZING def worth a listen, or several!

Favorite MV: Say My Name/HALA HALA

OTP: ... umm, I don’t really ship any Idols in general, but I tend to like the Seonghwa/Hongjoong dynamics, there was just something about that one time that Seonghwa was like “why aren’t you ever home anymore I miss you” “you want me home more?” “Yes” “then I’ll come home more often” and that other time Hongjoong said something like “you returned to where you should have always been” (with him) when talking about Seonghwa spending to much time with Wooyoung and San... it’s just very funny to me lol (these ‘quotes’ might be a bit off as I don’t remember exactly what was said but that was the gist of both conversations I believe!)

Best smile: Yunho honestly! He’s such an underrated member of Ateez!! He’s my second favorite and needs more love because I love him lol, a big big puppy baby whom I love and adore

Fave Coreo: HALA HALA!!! ITS SO COOL!!

Fave era: Visuals: Say My Name, Music: Zero: Fever part 2

Merch?: I have a T-Shirt I got at hot topic and a Zero: Fever part 2 album!

Seen em live?: Nope.... but I would have if I could have! Would definitely love to go once we finally can!

Favorite voice: Def Mingi, his voice is what attracted me to the group, I LOVE the deep voice trend in kpop, Mingi, like Felix (Stray Kids) and Leedo (Oneus), really scratch that itch for me!!

Favorite dancer: San I guess?? Dancing isn’t really my thing as you know lol

BTS:

My first bias: Namjoon (I think Namjoon is a lot of English speakers first bias because of his English skills, and honestly he still has a huge place in my heart as you know! Plus he BIG SEXY) (I think of mic drop Namjoon and my brain implodes)

My current bias: Jimin, I just love his softness, I really love the members that take care of the rest and Jimin plays personal therapist (it’s the libra in him I get it you know?) to all, so I really appreciate this as it’s a very important thing for me (it’s probably my libra moon lol) but that’s what got me at first, then when I was getting into them I saw he struggled and no one was really helping him and he was like trying to do better and honestly it broke my heart so I full adopted the baby because he needed care and protection and actives my Aquarius sun and the ‘leave no man behind’ and ‘help/root for the underdog’ complex we have, so anyways, I love him for his softness and his fighting spirit because I want him to do well and succeed but also he’s a mess and sharp witted and a cheater at games (another trait I tend to like??????? Like that’s on me so????) he makes me laugh and I love to see him do well and win at things because he deserves it!! He’s also really motivated and a go-getter which is v sexy to me!! When things are tough he always works hard to fix them and do his best and honestly is there anything better than that? To me no, to my friend who says I put to much emphasis on work ethic? Yes. Also Jimin is big sexy, this is an undeniable fact

Favorite Song: Dionysus (like have you seen the MMA 2019 performance??? There’s no coming back from that) the song is just such a bop and one of the big ones that got me fully into them and kpop as a whole!! Good memories and a great song!!

Favorite MV: I’m a blood sweat and tears whore, could watch that mv any time anywhere babey

OTP: again, don’t really tend to genuinely ship anyone, but I really like a good YoonMin dynamic, love the way Yoongi roots for Jimin, and pushes him in small ways to be better, I think Jimin is pretty oblivious to this though??? And like Jimin needs so much audible praise and gentle care that I think Yoongi for him is very hard to understand even though I think Jimin is very much Yoongi’s favorite member, like maybe it’s because I’m super empathetic, but I always think of like two moments for them, the first is when Jimin was helping Yoongi makes those like 300 presents for his fans and Jimin stayed all day to help him out, Jimin was being Jimin so he was constantly asking if Yoongi appreciated him being there, and Yoongi being Yoongi didn’t say much to assure him, but like you could FEEL the happiness radiating off of Yoongi but like it hurt Jimin to not be directly praised? It’s just a big mess I love it, it’s horrendously painful to watch,

Then there’s the whole ‘Yoongi told me to be the project manager’ or whatever the job was called for their album, Like Yoongi wasn’t giving out advice to everyone... just Jimin (or at least the way in which I understand it), because I genuinely believe Jimin is his favorite and he’s pushing him to grow into a confident and capable person but like... I don’t think Jimin connected the ‘Yoongi is caring for me in his own unique way that isn’t words of affirmation’ dots... it’s a train wreck but I love it lol (plus also Yoongi saying he prefers Jimin’s voice?? When I think Jimin heard for so long that Kookie sings better?? He just loves that boy so much!!) anyways I digress, I just really love their dynamic and it’s my favorite to watch, I know I’ve talked about their dynamic before but honestly I could go on and on and on about it haha, I’m so glad they’re friends you know? Not only so I can watch them, but because Jimin’s selfless help will always be given to Yoongi without question, and because Yoongi will always push Jimin to be better... ok I’m done now for real this time lol

Best smile: Jungkook, his little bunny smile absolutely sends me to the moon it’s so cute!! (Jimin’s is a very close second!)

Fave Coreo: Lie for sure!

Fave era: The storyline era with the acronym I always forget!! I think it spanned a couple of eras in the entirety but I loved it!! But also just like straight up Wings era!

Merch?: I have more BT21 one stuff than I think I have BTS stuff tbh haha, but I have all versions of MOS:7 I have some love yourself versions from a friend, and my army membership box I got to purchase the concert tickets we bought but never got to use :{

Seen em live?: was supposed to last year 😢

Favorite voice: Yoongi, love the way he raps, it’s a really aggressive and sexy flow, definitely my type, as someone who stans and loves rappers most, Yoongi will always have a major place in my heart, no one really compares on a talent scale for me, and his solo stuff is some of the sexiest you could ever imagine/hear, love it!!

Favorite dancer: Not super surprising I think but it’s totally Jimin!! Anytime I watch that man perform Lie I die lol, the way that man moves is a crime

#are these to many words? absolutely #I hope this was an enjoyable read for you!!#reminds me of our first few conversations about bts where I would just ramble on forever about anything and everything that came to my mind #thank you 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟#it was a fun one!!#froggy writes

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kehelewalenei · 3 years ago

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Life Just Sucks Sometimes. Sometimes it’s not your fault and sometimes it’s a result of something you said or did. It sucks the most when it’s not your fault. For any of you who chose the creative live free path instead of going to college, getting a degree and staying in the same line of work for 20yrs, unless you got lucky I’m sure life has been or still is a struggle. Not everyone who follows their dreams makes it and by the time you hit 40 the drive to make it is pretty much gone. I also have a long history of anxiety and depression. Sometimes it’s so bad I get suicidal. I don’t have enough money to go to therapy so I just have to deal with it. Never having a job that pays enough to get ahead sucks and it’s even worse when you live paycheck to paycheck and you miss a week of work because you’re sick and then you can’t pay rent. Yep that’s happening to me and it’s been like that all my life. I don’t have someone I can borrow money from and getting loans isn’t good because owing someone else money is just another brick in the wall. It feels sometimes like there’s a system designed to keep the failed creative types poor. A person shouldn’t have to work 2-3 jobs just to pay rent and bills. There should be some kind of work life balance but no, not for me. I tried hustling side gigs and working a part time job and I felt so much better but the stress of sometimes not having enough money at the end of the month just wasn’t worth it so I had to give up most of my side gigs and get a warehouse job so I could have a steady paycheck. This job is exhausting physically and I feel the pay isn’t worth the physical exertion and when I see how little my paychecks are it makes me depressed so then I spend all my spare time alone, depressed and in bed. Can’t even hangout with a friend because I don’t have any money to do anything. This has been the cycle of my life pretty much all my life. Sometimes I have some extra money and then back to this cycle of hell. I know I’m not the only one experiencing this but that doesn’t make me feel better. I still just wanna die sometimes and when I think about the fact that no one cares it makes me even more sad. They say someone always cares and life isn’t all that bad and that you’ll get through this and that this too shall pass BUT when your in your 40’s you start to realize that maybe things won’t get better, maybe this is how it’s gonna be for the rest of your life. Then you start wishing you made better choices and sink so far down you start to shut off mentally. I don’t talk about this out loud because I know that projecting your emotions on to others isn’t kind or productive. I don’t want to poison anyone else with my inner battles. That’s just not right. So I quietly battle it alone and no one knows because I’m a positive go getter who’s always laughing and in good spirits. That’s the thing, you never know what someone is really going though and it’s really hard to tell when they’re a master at masking their emotions and make you believe their happy. Some of the most depressed people are the best at hiding it. That’s why it’s SO important to be kind to others. If you have anything to give , give it. If you have the time , listen, just listen. Don’t forget some people are takers and will just take take take and suck up all your energy. How can you tell who to help? The quite ones. The ones who really need it are the ones who won’t ask for it, the ones who won’t project their issues on you, the ones who you’d never guess are going though a rough time. Just be kind. Just be kind.

#kindness #this is depressing #sadnees #life lessons #daily life #the strugge is real #struggle #im poor #self healing #healing #going thru it #moving on #self care #self help #self improvement #this is 40 #please forgive me #tumblrlife #love

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a-student-out-of-time · 4 years ago

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Twisted Sister Aftermath Review Part 1

Hai hidey do everyone, it’s your friendly neighbourhood Review Anon here! Another Arc has come and past us and as such it’s time to review it! Hopefully I don’t end up with 5k worth of words here and have three megaton submissions here (and from now on I am not going back to using asks, why the heck I used asks beforehand is beyond me) Speaking of, I have a question, do you want me to go back and review previous arcs? Probably won’t do this until we have any kind of break or hiatus so to not break flow? But that’s enough time being wasted, we have the Twisted Sister Aftermath Arc here, and this review isn’t going anywhere so let’s get right into it!

Relationships and Reflections

So, when we last left off, Hajime passed out from inhaling too much smoke while saving Tsurugi from the bomb explosion and as it turned out he has been asleep for a good 8 hours! Its Monday but despite that the school is shut, which is understandable given that we had criminals running around and a serial killer attacking the school the previous day, Hope’s Peak seems to be more sensible than my previous school which didn’t shut down even when one of the main buildings got flooded (long story there). But the good news is that nearly all the criminals were captured by the QC and the police and are back where they belong. The bad news is that 3 criminals are still at large. 2 of them are petty criminals that have nothing to be concerned but there is one criminal who IS a big concern. You have 3 guesses who that person is and the first 2 don’t count. Yep, its Maverick Storm alright.

So, time for a bit of a confession here, Maverick as a character…isn’t all new to me. For some of you old timers here there was a blog called ‘Despair Kids’ which started out as Class 78 asking questions and then it evolved into an AU with lots of OCs, so many that it got too overwhelming and I lost interest in it. But there were a few I generally liked, and Kyoji’s and Maverick’s characters really stood out to me. When I started to read the enormous backlog of this blog, (I wish the best of luck to all newcomers and try to not binge it, even if you are a fast reader), and Umeko showed up during the Practical Exams arc, I got a sense of Deja vu, as I recalled hearing that character’s name before. But I didn’t think much at the time, not helped by the fact that Umeko was a pretty minor character in the Despair Kids, even when Maverick was on his self-imposed challenge to kill all of his class, Umeko evaded him by just dimension travelling to another universe, so her character didn’t have much impact. But as soon as I heard Kyoji and Maverick mentioned I thought ‘Oh…OH IT’S THE SAME PERSON WHO MADE THOSE CHARACTERS!’. And as mentioned, I really liked those OCs anyway so that as well as using Another characters really got me invested into this blog. And with all that said, let me reassure you guys that Maverick is a bastard with a capital B. The stuff he gets up to in Despair Kids, where he was a member of Despair, but secretly plotted to overthrow Junko, even the other Mods/Role-players were disgusted by it. Now Maverick is probably going to be going through some changes as the Mod’s OCs in this blog aren’t the same as the characters from the Despair Kids. To give some examples Kyoji’s backstory doesn’t mention Mikan, Kyoji isn’t into Mikan, he’s more into Miaya, Maverick got jailed etc. So, I won’t be surprised when Storm starts pulling shit, probably not as bad as Despair Kids as he isn’t under Junko’s thumb here…but hard to tell at the moment. But yeah, you have been warned, I consider Maverick a villain as bad as Junko and Mikado, and you will soon see why.

But enough about a character who hasn’t officially shown up yet, let’s focus on a reformed villain and that is the new and improved Kanade! I feel mixed upon this new Kanade as part of me wants to love her as in this state she is so sweet and innocent, which is what people probably thought of Kanade when they first saw her in SDAR2, and I did at first, my thoughts about Kanade at the time were ‘It’s almost as if Hiyoko and Mikan are siblings, let’s hope Kanade doesn’t go crazy like Mikan did’ and that statement aged like milk. When Kanade became suspiciously smart and helpful during the Class Trials I was kinda sus because normally with the Trial Point Getters there is normally some logic to why said character is good in the Trails, like Koroko being a Psychologist can analysis people’s feelings and deduce who the culprit, and Syobai’s background means he has to use his brain quite a bit, but Kanade is supposed to be a Guitarist in a Pop band, she shouldn’t be this good. But my theory was she was lying about her talent, because that’s nothing new in Danganronpa, but ho boy was that a mistake. But at the same time as much as I want to hug this new Kanade, I’m also hyper conscious that the mindwipe might not be a permeant solution as well Junko got mindwiped in the OG timeline and we all know how well THAT ended. Then again, the relapse didn’t fully occur until Yasuke decided to kill Ryoko so as long as nobody tries to strangle Kanade, we should be good. It also means that Hibiki gets the little sister that she thought she had back, and you can tell this a new stage of development for her. Hibiki has grown as a person since back in July but while that part of her character development has finished, a new part starts as she tries and rebuild a proper healthy relationship with Kanade because Hibiki wasn’t completely innocent in the reason why Kanade became a monster. Granted, a lot of it was Kanade being twisted to begin with but had Hibiki been kinder and not been a total bitch to her, I don’t think Kanade would have gone fully down the deep end as it seems her psychopathic behaviour is more of a nurture rather than nature thing. Something I believe will be explored a bit more once Junko enters the scene because well…Kanade is basically Junko on easy mode. The real deal will be a lot harder to handle. And naturally Kyoji has offered to take care of her…I don’t know why Kyoji has turned into the guardian of reformed little girls, but it’s a welcome surprise to be sure. I just hope Kanade doesn’t get wrapped up in Storm’s schemes because given that Kyoji is his arch-enemy…

We can make sure Kanade is a good girl now but there’s still the small issue that she escaped from jail and the police are looking for her so one needs to fake her death. This is a joint operation by Kyoji and Nikei as Kyoji cloned some of Kanade’s body parts and left them near where a bomb went off to give the impression that Kanade got killed during the Prison Break, and judging from Tsurugi’s reaction, it seems to have worked. Speaking of Tsurugi, he is resting and due to his injuries is desk bound for a couple of weeks and receiving care from Mikan. Mikan caring for Tsurugi helps in two ways, as firstly being the Ultimate Nurse, she would be qualified to help make sure nothing serious happens to Tsurugi and Tsurugi doesn’t know that Mikan is part of the Quantum Crew and working with Kasugano, so it means someone is near Tsurugi who can relay information to Kasugano and co. That’s two girls with ties to Kasugano that Tsurugi has interacted with and he doesn’t suspect a thing. Okay to be fair with Akane when he first met her, she was an independent force and wasn’t working for Kasugano at that point but my point still stands. Not much to talk about our police boy here aside from Mod confirming that Tsurugi x Kouhei is going to be a thing in this blog. To be fair everyone could see the sexual tension between those two and that’s why people felt funny when Kanade mocked their relationship as they wanted to ship the two but it meant siding with a demonic guitar child. But said demonic guitar child is no more so no need to worry about shipping! And as for Nikei, he is writing up an article detailing Kanade’s demise as to throw the media off Kanade’s scent and then it’s just waiting for all the media hype around Kanade to die down and once that happens, she can be transferred to one of the many care facilities that Kyoji knows. How many does he know at this point? And while we are on the subject of Newsie here, it’s time to discuss a growing friendship, and possible relationship that is developing between him and Akane.

I had my suspicions for some time by their interactions but it was Akane’s and Nikei’s interactions in this Arc which solidified my viewpoint on their relationship. And that is Akane is more or less a foil to Mikado. Think about it for a second. They weren’t founding members of Void, they both grew up in hellish orphanages, got out of said orphanages thanks to Utsuro, ended up meeting the man himself at some point and inherited his Divine Luck at various points, though Mikado only succeeded in a Bad Ending. But at the same time, they both have different motives for going after Utsuro, Akane wanted to thank him for what he’s done for her and when she did successfully meet him, dutifully served under him, even when Junko came and corrupted them both. And while Utsuro had his crippling trust issues and constantly worried if Akane would betray him at some point, the fact that he gave Akane Divine Luck after she took mortal damage protecting the other survivors from Monokuma, showed that at some level he did care for her. Mikado desired the Divine Luck for his own personal benefit, burned down several orphanages to trigger another encounter and upon meeting with Koroko, hatched a horrible plan to ‘revive’ Utsuro, then Mikado would kill him and steal the Divine Luck for himself. Only reason it backfired was firstly because Mikado (both real and AI) didn’t realise Utsuro gave the Divine Luck to Akane, who was then later used to create Sora, and secondly Syobai betrayed him by siding with the Kisurugi Foundation. Their clashing roles can be no better illustrated then with their relationship with Void’s leader, Nikei. We don’t know how Nikei reacted to Mikado initially because it’s still a lot of unknown factors until the Onmake mode comes out canonically, but while wary at first because of how extreme Mikado’s plan was, was probably willing to trust him. And then as Mikado undermined him and usurped the role of leader from Nikei, that relationship quickly soured and a rotting despairing sense of hatred and revenge grew within Nikei, eroding away his humanity (from reading LINUQ’s blog, where he goes into detail regarding the various characters from SDAR2, he states that Nikei used to be a lot more warm-hearted before Mikado came along, but his hatred for the wizard made him much crueller) And it got to the point where the lines between Nikei and Mikado got blurry, and I’ll say that Nikei ended up being no different from Mikado in the end. And thus, he died a broken hateful mess. Now as for Akane, she and Nikei got off on a bad note; she kicked Nikei in the stomach, he responded by almost blowing Akane’s brains out, fun stuff like that. But once the misunderstanding and proof that Akane was good arose, a friendship of sorts started to develop between the two. The first signs we saw of this is *sigh* Oncoming Storm Arc. Among the hot pile of shit that Arc was, one of the VERY, VERY few good parts about it, was that when some Anons unintendedly hit a trigger phrase for Akane, which was mentioning older men, she went into a panic attack and out of all the people who could have comforted Akane during this moment, it was Nikei who did so. And now in this arc, we are seeing that Nikei is a bit more open with Akane then he is with other non-Void members of the Quantum Crew. He’s not taken the news that he snapped back to his old self during the Massacre timeline well, and bemoans that it shows he hasn’t changed, but Akane reassures him he has and that the timeline can serve as a lesson to improve oneself from and mentions she had trust issues initially but thanks to Utsuro, she is very much a people person now. And of course, we get the cute wholesome scene of those two cuddling each other, can someone please make fanart of these two cuddling, we need it. Mikado brought the worst out of Nikei and eventually led to his death, whereas Akane brings out the best in Nikei and would possibly help him into living a full refreshing life. Sora is more or less the third wheel in this relationship.

Annnnddd…I have talked for way too long. That’s part 1 of the review where I talk about relationships regarding all the characters but when we come back its when the plot comes back in when Class 77-B gets debriefed on the truth and a shocking new discovering on Time Travel is revealed. Stay tuned as we won’t be away for long! - Review Anon

#submission #a student out of time #review-anon

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benoitblanc · 5 years ago

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OTP PROFILE GAME!

rules: answer the questions about your favorite ship (all time or current) then tag 10 people to do it too!

tagged by @chloexmorningstar (ily Sho!!!) and listen... obviously newtina is my #1 ship ever. i am doing peggysous, even though it’s a lowly #4, because reasons. and apologies to everyone for how goddamn long this got. i have a lot of feelings about these two.

SHIP AND FANDOM: peggysous/agent carter

MOMENTS:

what were their first impressions of each other?

sadly we don’t get the peggysous meet-cute- in fact, i’m just realizing now that most of my favorite ships meet offscreen, which is kind of weird. we do know that they’re each other’s only friend in the workplace, and even more than that they’re on first-name basis, so i like to think that when they met, they both kind of went wow, this one sucks a lot less than every other person that works here!, and then the rest was history.

a moment you think that both/one of them will remember forever about each other:

i mean obviously the rebar incident, but also when peggy had to choose between the literal universe and daniel and chose daniel. everything worked out and the universe was fine, but the fact that peggy “dispassionate, chief, your words” carter even took that chance speaks volumes about how much she loves him, and i think it’s something they’ll both remember for a long time.

a moment you think that both/one of them wishes hadn’t happened:

when i saw this i instantly went, “well obviously peggy’s interrogation was not a high point for them,” and then remembered that peggy asked daniel for a rain check when he asked her out and he took that to mean “i don’t want to see you again ever” and literally moved across the country, so i’d say there were a couple of rough patches lol. conversely, i think that peggy in retrospect is extremely glad she got impaled by that rebar because otherwise they would have just stayed in pining hell forever.

what is their moment for you?

if i'm not allowed to choose “literally all of season 2,” i’m going to say when peggy kidnaps rufus hunt and daniel gets angry not because she committed a felony, but because she committed a felony without him. daniel is a lot more by-the-book than almost every other character on the show, so the fact that that’s the thing he’s mad about really shows how much he’s come to trust and care for peggy. as they both say, they’re a team now.

LIFE QUESTIONS:

marriage? if yes, who proposes?

yep! they get married. avengers endgame never happened. aos will never happen. i’m not sure if i like the idea of peggy or daniel actually proposing better, but daniel definitely buys the ring and agonizes over how to make the perfect proposal, and then of course they actually get engaged on a whim during some messy, high-stakes action sequence.

children? if yes, if one had to stay home with them, who would do it?

we know that peggy and whoever she canonically marries do have two kids, so assuming it’s daniel (which it is), there are definitely kids! neither of them stay home- they’re good parents but obviously very busy at work, especially peggy- but they spend as much time with them as they can, and the jarvises are more than happy to look after the kids when they can’t.

housing? where do they live together?

i have absolutely no idea where the original base of shield was, and i don’t think the ac one-shot is actually canon, so let’s say for argument’s sake, and for the sake of “most of the characters i headcanon as being involved with shield’s creation were located in california in the late 40s anyway,” and for the sake of “as of 1995 there was still a prominent shield base located in l.a.,” that it was near los angeles. in which case i guess peggy could just move in wherever daniel’s living. it looked like a nice enough place.

pets? do they get a pet together?

i don’t see them as pet people, honestly. i think bernard has put them off that idea.

PERSON A&B…

who would kill/remove the spider and who would leave it under a cup and leave the room?

peggy is definitely terrified of spiders just because i think the “peggy carter, the same woman who fought in the war and took down dottie underwood and punched me in the nose, is afraid of spiders?” “shut up, jack!” conversation would be hilarious. this leaves daniel as the de facto getter-ridder of spiders.

who sings all day long and who gets so used to it they don’t even hear it anymore?

this is not something i'd ever pictured either of them doing; however, i’m absolutely loving the idea of serious, professional daniel singing under his breath while working on case files. peggy thinks this is the cutest thing in the world but figured out very early on that if she comments on it, he stops, so now she just lets it happen without a word.

who can cook a gourmet meal for two and who can maybe use the toaster?

peggy obviously can’t cook to save her life. i think the entire fandom has accepted this as fact. daniel i can see as a decent cook, but i think if for whatever reason they actually need to provide food for anyone other than themselves, peggy calls jarvis in a panic and makes him do it.

who wakes up before the sun rises and who would sleep in until 2pm if they didn’t have an alarm?

neither of them really strike me as early risers (or late risers- they seem to have a reasonable sleep schedule when they aren’t up to spy shenanigans), but peggy definitely gets up before daniel.

who is more affectionate/touchy?

in public i think they’re both usually very professional or at least not blatantly affectionate, but in private or with friends they cannot keep their hands off each other. peggy is usually the worse offender but it’s oftentimes a toss-up. they drive jack crazy.

who wears the other’s hoodies/shirts?

look i don’t think this is something they’d do, but i’m definitely giggling at the thought of peggy walking around in a fucking hawaiian shirt that’s about two sizes too big for her.

who said “I love you” first?

i like to think that a very exhausted peggy, after daniel did something like bring her coffee when she was working on case files at one in the morning, groaned “daniel sousa, i bloody love you” without really thinking about it and then promptly became so re-engrossed with the files that she nearly missed daniel’s quiet “...love you too, peg.”

tagging @erumpets @florenepugh @wespers @mollyweasly @nataliarvmanova @romanocff @saralahnce @captleia @billhaders @wintersoeldiers and anyone else who wants to do it :)

#YIKES this got long #tag game #about me #marvel #agent carter #peggy carter #daniel sousa #peggysous #ac spoilers for maya

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