#I got to reconnect with a friend i haven’t seen in a long time and put in some hours in the print lab

[julykings]

copper plate etching, a most decadent salad, lord of the rings pinball i played while absolutely wasted, me absolutely wasted

[roturo]

BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

INUMAKI TOGE X READER

SUMMARY: meeting up with your old friends sounded like a good idea, turns out lying and saying you and your ex ended up as a friends would include him there, so that was a bad idea of yours.

WARNINGS: unprotected sex, subspace, exes!to lovers, use of curse energy for sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, use of sign language, almost caught, after care, dacryphilia.

Life has been great.

Ever since you broke up with Inumaki things have been just fine. Both of you decided to end up as friends. Which might be awkward between the both of you but when you’re together around other people it wasn’t that bad.

You decided to focus on your training, even though it became a little bit too much to be at the same place with your ex… so you decided to live alone and start a new life. College is a new experience and it has been really fun! Training at home wasn’t as effective and efficient as training with Gojo-sensei and your friends… but, you felt more comfortable this way.

Some days you felt like exorcizing some curse and just walked through the city and found one.

Just for fun.

That’s what Maki told you. ‘Let’s hang out all of us together like the old times! Just for some fun!’

And everything was going great! But you never expected Yuuji to enter next to Inumaki into Maki’s room. You haven’t seen him in like four? six months? It’s been a while…

And to say he looked even more handsome than last time is understandable. Half a year and he grew up. He seemed taller than last time, his shoulders broader, and his hands…

You scold yourself for staring too long at him. His eyes locked with yours and a small awkward silence was in the room. But thankfully, Yuuji couldn’t tolerate silence and proposed to order some pizza and talk about how things have been.

You told them about your new friends at college, how you've been auto-training yourself, and how you felt like a new person.

Inumaki felt nostalgic. Watching you grow up and create a life without him made him sad. Thinking about the old times and how you talked to him for hours about having a family. How you stayed with him even if he couldn’t communicate himself like others, he loved you, and he missed you.

You missed him too, and when Maki asked if you were comfortable right now, even if your ex is literally like less than two meters in front of you, you said, ‘yeah! why not, we didn’t end on bad terms! can’t do people reconnect? I only see him as a friend.’

The biggest lie you ever said.

But the both of you knew those glance you gave each other, you needed the other… So when Maki accompanied Yuuji for the pizza you couldn’t control yourself.

And I mean like you couldn’t control yourself literally, he controlled you. He took his hands off.

‘Follow me.’

Your body was moving without your permission. Following Inumaki to what you assumed was his room. A tingly feeling dressed as nervousness was appearing in the low part of your tummy.

You felt anxious? excited? euphoric?

You missed him so much it was hurting, so when you got inside his room, thinking about if what’s going to occur was correct, you stared at your phone for some second before murmuring to yourself ‘fuck it, it’s fine’ —the first thing you did when you had control back was send a text to Maki.

‘I’m sleeping in another place.’ Maybe she’ll think you didn’t feel comfortable enough and needed to leave.

But maybe that’s not the case. You might sleep on someone else's sheets.

‘Inumaki…’

‘Shh… Undress yourself.’— You wanted to first kiss him, but he seemed eager to have you— and how could you say no? Maybe he wasn’t even controlling you and you were doing it for your own taste.

Feeling vulnerable in front of him— he grabbed you by the waist pulling you closer to his clothes body and started kissing you like a hungry man— You missed his touch and he missed yours.

Coming here wasn’t a bad idea… right?

Wrong.

Your body was sore and twitching of how many times he has made you cum. He’s been eating you out for hours now— with just one word making you cut whenever he felt like it. Making symbols on your pussy of what you suppose it’s his curse marks— Your eyes were full of tears, vision blurry and feeling dizzy.

‘N-no more ‘Inu..’

‘Osaka ‘ Was all he said, keeping a straight face before watching you before continuing eating you out— ‘Squirt.’ Your body shook before your vision turned black and everything felt a thousand times more— his fingers inside of you, slurping your fluids out of you. It was a disgusting mess— but he loved watching you turn into a mess thanks to him. It was his mess.

He never abused so much of his power on you, but this time it was different. He needed you, he wanted you.

Once he felt he got enough of your poor and used pussy, he got up— Watching you trying to keep your eyes open. Makeup ruined, hair tangled and tears coming down your eyes. You felt fucked out— feeling sore on parts of your body you never thought could get sore. Trying to plead for your sanity was met with deaf ears.

He started unbuckling his belt, and turned his middle and ring finger down, making the sign ‘I love you’ before signaling he missed you so much and needed you. Sign language was a common thing between the both of you because of his cursed technique. Just a few words, because it’s like destiny brought the two of you together because in some ways you always knew what the other needed.

He teased your cunt with his dick before inserting it in. You were on missionary, him on top of you while he admired the mess you became. He thrusted inside of you with no warning, your fucked up pussy with no need to make it even more sensitive for you to cum, he just started searching for his release.

When he watched you not even being able to say coherent words, tears just streaming down your face, your eyes almost closed and moans coming out of your mouth was enough for him to cum inside of you. The fucked up image of you— thanks to him— will be forever engraved in his mind. He needs you, he needs to be back together.

He groaned at the feeling of your cunt hugging his cock once he came, his body shaking before laying down beside you. Heavy breathings filling the room, he looked back at you and found you staring at him too. A smile adorned his face, moving his body so he could hug yours— playing with your hair and giving you small pecks he heard a knock on his door. 

He supposed you’re still in a subspace and grabbed his boxers, slightly opening the door so only his face was visible— a confused blushed Yuuji was in front of his door. ‘Inumaki, the pizza is here. We can’t find Y/N though… Do you know where she is?…’

‘Go with Maki.’ Were the words he let out, Yuuji’s body moved without his permission, leaving him alone. 

He looked behind and saw you taking small breaths, your chest going up and down— He smiled to himself, before he grabbed a warm cloth and and started cleaning you up— He searched for some candy he used to have in his room since you were always craving them, he grabbed one water bottle too and repositioned you so your now resting on his pillows. He sat next to you, playing with your hair, waiting till you came back to reality.

Once you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was Inumaki staring at you— Eyes full of love while he played with your hair. You moved so your body was not sitting on his bed, you noticed you’re wearing one of his t-shirts and your panties— You supposed he put them on, he touched your arm and gave you some water and your favorite candy. You looked back at him— surprised he still had some of them here, you smiled at him and drank some water.

You didn’t notice he grabbed a notebook and was writing something until he gave it to you.

‘Can we get back together? You’re all I need, all I love. I would kill any curse, person, thing who tries to hurt you, everything… just to have you back in my arms.’

[ourhees]

𝐶𝑂𝐿𝐷 iN LA ── SJY

❄️ 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒, 𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝖺 .. 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗁𝗂𝗇𝖽

PREC𝓲S ｡｡ 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗅𝗒, 𝗆𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗇’𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝖽𝗂𝖽 𝗁𝖾.

심재윤 ／⠀𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 reader ── fluff + non 𝑖𝑑𝑜𝑙 au ｡｡ if you know this song, i love you >3< happy birthday to MY MAN !! ∿ ✦ more

♫ iS YOUR BODY TALKING, CAUSE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY? DO YOU DO THIS OFTEN? IS IT ALL JUST A GAME? TO YOU IM WONDERIN’ , NEVER SEEN THIS SORT OF THING.. AM i THE ONLY ONE YOU CAME TO SEE ?

moving back to your hometown was supposed to be exciting. you got to be with your family again, reconnect with close friends, and experience everything from your childhood. part of you had forgotten you met jake in your hometown.

it was senior year 2019, when jake slipped a note in your locker saying he has a crush on you. at first you hesitated, “ why would the best soccer player at school have a crush on me? ” you were skeptical, but you went for it.

your relationship was perfect.. for a while. miscommunications were happening constantly, leaving you unsure about where your relationship stood. you called it off, leaving yourself and jake heartbroken. to escape your heartbreak, after high school you moved away.

being a few hours away from your hometown was difficult. you didn’t see your parents often, you were alone almost everyday, who lead you to feeling depressed. after some time away, you decided it was finally time to move back home.

you pulled into the driveway of your parents house, turning the car off as you hopped out of the driver seat. you walked to the front door and knocked on it, hoping your mother or father would answer.

“there you are sweetheart, i’m so glad you got here safe.” your mother pulls you in for a warm embrace, being in her arms after a long time felt like a warm blanket on the coldest day.

it was cold after all, it was the middle of december. the snow was falling softly, and your fingers grew red and cold. you got inside, where you reunited with the rest of your family members. over a cup of hot chocolate, your mother asks about jake.

“have you contacted jake since you got here?” she asks, her hand resting on top of your free hand.

jake.. a name you haven’t heard in months. “no.” you quickly said, sipping on your hot chocolate. you wanted to avoid the topic, deep down though, you wanted to know how he was doing.

“you know he visits sometimes… to see your brother” your mom added, you had forgotten your brother and jake were close. “shit..” you mumbled under your breath.

jake and your brother were on the same soccer team, after finding out they had a lot in common, they became close friends. close friends lead to spending the night at each others houses and play video games.

your brother came out of his room to greet you. “been a while, sis.” jaemin hugged you. your brother never hugged you, but you could easily tell he missed you. you caught up with your brother, during the conversation you managed to ask about jake and his well-being.

“so how is he..?” you ask, sipping your hot chocolate to avoid saying his name.

“who?” jaemin teases, forcing you to say the forbidden name.

“jake, stupid.” you roll your eyes, placing the cup onto the nearby coffee table.

“jake’s been alright. we went to nationals and he made us win the golden cup.” jaemin bragged, proud of the moment. “he’s a great guy you know.. i think he misses you.”

jaemin’s words had you for a minute, lost in your thoughts. you couldn’t imagine your ex of almost 5 years missing you, or even holding onto the feeling you.

“you’d think by now he’s probably seeing someone.” you tried to brush off the thought of jake, as much as you tried, he always came back to your thoughts.

you went into your childhood bedroom, your bed made the same way you left it, all your childhood goodies remained safe and tucked exactly where you left them. you skimmed through your shelves, looking past all your school awards and achievements.

your eyes became fixed on a stuffed bear jake had bought you after finding out you won your volleyball tournament, the matching bracelets you bought on a school trip, and other goodies you had saved.

the idea of throwing away anything that belonged to your past relationship hurt you, it was almost like you were throwing away the memories and the idea of him, which was far from the truth. ever since that talk with your brother, you wanted to see jake again, you just needed a way to.

you decided to grab a few essentials for dinner that night, your father promised to make all your favorite comfort meals but needed a few more things. as you were about to check out, you noticed a familiar face at the register.

it was jake, something about his appearance was different. he looked more mature, his hair got longer. he wasn’t the jake you knew back in highschool, he was far from that. nervously, you walked to the register jake was working at. his eyes widened as he met with your figure.

“y/n.. no way?” jake says, he stops scanning your groceries, giving you his full attention.

“hi jake..” you smiled nervously, it had been a while and it was clear you both were nervous.

“when did you come back?” he asks, his dark eyes meeting with yours, sending a familiar feeling up your spine.

��today actually..my dads making dinner tonight so i had to pick up some things. so you work here now?” you ask.

jake nods, smiling dearly. “ i do, it helps pay for university.” he resumes scanning your groceries, placing them all in a bag. “that’ll be $21.97”

you reach in your wallet to grab your card, you hold out the card for him to take and swipe. jake’s hand gently touches yours, you don’t pull away, instead you found yourself yearning for another subtle touch. as jake swipes your card, returning it to you, your fingers touch his.

jake’s face flashed a shade of pink, he grew more nervous. “have a good day y/n.. hope to see you soon.” he waved goodbye, his smile was just how you remembered, soft and sweet.

jake went home that same night, his thoughts were consumed with you. he wondered about what happened after you moved away, what your life was before coming back. he sat on the couch of his apartment, scrolling through his socials as he normally would. suddenly, his phone rang, causing him to jump out of his thoughts.

“hello?” jake answered, it was jaemin.

“hey, you wanna come over and play that new game that came out earlier this week.” jaemin asked, setting up his console for two players.

“yeah i’ll be there.” jake hung up, he grabbed his coat and a few snacks before heading back out.

jake arrived within 5 minutes, while him and your brother stayed up playing video games, you sat in your bed, your attention growing strong onto a book you’d recently gotten into. within a few hours of gaming, jaemin has fallen asleep on the bean bag chair he sat on.

jake got up slowly, he made his way to the door and opened it softly. his figure made it into the hallway, walking towards your half—closed door. jake knocked softly. “can i come in.”

“yeah.” you said, sitting up in your bed and placing your book to your side. “what are you doing up so late?”

“jaemin fell asleep.. and honestly i can’t sleep.” jake sat by the end of your bed, you could hear the tiredness in his voice and his eyes.

“how come?” you asked, leaning against the headboard behind you.

“because you’re back in town.. and i’m always thinking about you. but now, you’re here.. you’re consuming my mind so much y/n.” jake stopped, realizing he had said too much.

“i should go back.. shouldn’t i?” you asked, unsure if what he said was a good thing or bad.

“i don’t want you to go back, your home is here..with me.” jake leaned in close, the closest he’s been since your last moment together as a couple.

jake’s lips softly pressed against yours, pulling you into a sweet and soft kiss. his lips on yours was a familiar feeling, one you hadn’t felt in a long time. you slowly pulled away, jake had realized what he just did, he quickly backed up.

“i’m sorry.. i shouldn’t have done that.” jake got up from your bed. “i’m sorry y/n..” he quickly left your room, leaving you alone in your thoughts, questioning what happens next.

it had been a few nights since the incident in your bedroom, you refused to tell your mom or anyone, except yunjin, your childhood best friend.

you and yunjin were getting ready for a holiday party, you both wore matching red dresses and a similar heel. “so he kissed you?” she asks, finishing up her makeup.

“yeah he did.. i don’t know what to do now.” you sat down, getting ready to place your heels on.

“i say go for it, i mean your brother told you he misses you .. and he pulled that? you should absolutely go for it.” yunjin stops. “only if that’s what you want.”

“i do.. kinda?” you said, you were confused and lost in your thoughts.

life with jake again didn’t sound so bad, in fact you both grew as the years progressed, you matured as individuals and that was what mattered.

you and yunjin arrived at the apartment complex the party was being held at. the music was blasting, drinks were on the table and everyone was enjoying themselves. you sat down on a couch, your drink in hand as you watched everyone have a good time.

“wishing jake was here.. maybe he’d keep my company.”

you thought to yourself, when in reality, you didn’t know how to talk to him after the incident in your bedroom. you sipped your drink, when suddenly jake appeared from the crowd.

“looks like you’re not having fun, parties have never been your thing.” jake smiled, a hand reaching out towards you. “come.. let’s go outside for a bit.

“you remembered..” you smiled, taking his hand as you both walked out to the balcony. “of course i do..” jake adds, opening the door to the spacious area.

you and jake stood beside eachother, it was quiet for a moment, silence consumed most of the air, followed by the loud music coming from inside.

“i miss us.” you blurt out, a rather surprised look forming on jake’s face. “ever since i moved back here i was afraid of seeing you again.”

“why’s that?” jake asks, his hand leaning against the cold medal of the balcony.

“i don’t know..” you sighed. “we’re both confused, are we no-“

jake’s lips crashed onto yours, a sweet kiss you received weeks ago. the smell of his cologne filled your nostrils, it was all too familiar. his hand rested on your lower back, holding you close to him.

“i know what i want.. and that’s you.” jake smiled, holding you close to him. his eyes met with yours, sending a rush of shivers down your spine.

“i want you as well.” you smiled, leaning in to kiss him again.

[chilschuck]

omg… thinking abt chil reconnecting w his ex wife and becoming platonic besties. imagine they talk about it finding love again (chil’s ex has a new gf)… chil realises he’s caught feelings for reader… his ex teasing him about it…

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ OMG ANON THIS HAD ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET, WAHHHH. SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!! it’s currently 2 am but i had to get this out for you since you’ve been waiting a while!!! it was so much fun!! <33

— ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

꒰ info: ꒱ chilchuck x gn!reader

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw!! some cussing ofc lol

꒰ wc: ꒱ 586

✦ tumblr deleted this before i could post it twice so let’s pray it posts this time, LOL. short but sweet, i hope you enjoy!!! <333

“So… Who are they?”

That simple question was enough to make him choke on his drink. Was he that easy to read? Catching his breath, the half-foot immediately sputtered.

“What are you talking about?” Yet, the knowing look on her face said it all. Even if they had been separated for this long, she could still figure out just what he was hiding. So much for trying to keep some things personal…

“You have this expression, this content smile I haven’t seen in years, Chilchuck. Someone’s making you happy.” Her tone was not condescending in the slightest, rather content with this new revelation. Her words caused his cheeks to flush, more than the ale in his cup could.

And she was right. He was coming to terms with his feelings; and even the thought of you was enough to make him whole again. The fact it was so obvious was rather embarrassing, and he could feel the tips of his ears burn.

“Yeah, yeah… I guess you figured it out before I got a chance to tell you.”

They were nothing like they used to be, having settled on staying close through friendship. Although this maybe would’ve been hard to do in the past, Chilchuck felt more peaceful than he thinks he has in years. There was something about you that lit fire to his senses in ways he had long forgotten, and he found himself seeking you out more than he’d like to admit.

“I’ve told you plenty about my new girlfriend, now it’s your turn to spill. What are they like? It’s a sight to see you this happy.”

It was something only someone who really knew him could see; the change in his demeanor, the light in his eyes, the smile that threatened to spill from the corners of his lips. And it was all because of you.

“You’re going to laugh when I tell you how I met them,” he began, licking the ale from his lips in thought. “Laios’ party. I really ended up eating my own words about inner party romance, huh?” The last sentence came out in a grumble, one that caused her to laugh.

“Wow, they made you go against your own rules? Must be a keeper.”

And you were. Warm, but not enough to burn. Bright, but not blindingly so. Sweet, but not sickening. Chilchuck found himself feeling like a teenager again when it came to you. He bit his tongue.

“So you’re going to confess to them, right?” She teased, prodding his shoulder. “Look at you, blushing like a schoolboy. Must be serious.”

He opened his mouth to retort, before closing it again. The words died before he could speak, the full gravity of his feelings for you hitting him like a freight train. Burying his head in his arms, he groaned. “Shit…”

Chilchuck was doomed. Yet even as his head spiraled from a mixture of the alcohol and his new found love, it always went back to you. You, and your smiles, and your laugh, and your touch. There weren’t enough curse words he could possibly growl out in this moment to make himself feel better.

His ex wife laughed again, patting him on the back and stirring him from his thoughts. “Jeez, you really are a schoolboy. Maybe you should give them a love letter while you’re at it. Might be smart, actually.”

That’s how the rest of their time together went; two close friends musing about the ability to find love again. All because of you.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[sorrowsofsilence]

I Was Always Yours

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Words: 4.1k

Part Two

Warnings: smut 18+, fluff, swearing, unprotected s*x (pls wrap it b4 u tap it), female recieving, PnV penetration.

Summary: You grew up with Nick Ruffilo and Noah, but its been years since you’ve seen your best friends due to them being away touring. When Ruffilo came back to your hometown, opening his home tattoo studio, you get the opportunity to reconnect with him, and Noah. Deep down you’ve always had something for Noah, and it turns out he’s always felt something for you too. Perhaps seeing eachother years later, after you’ve both changed, sparked something.

Author note: This is short haired Noah era! <3 I just couldn’t resist using the beautiful photo of Noah above :3 Also, I haven’t written on tumblr in years, but I thought I’d come back with this fluff/smut! Enjoy if this finds you! <3

PS. THIS IS A FANFIC ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IN FICTIONAL SCENARIOS. I AM NOT IMPLYING THIS IS HOW THESE PEOPLE ARE IRL OR THAT THIS SITUATION WOULD HAPPEN. IT IS FOR FANFIC PURPOSES ONLY!

I finally gathered the courage to turn off my car, letting the crisp autumn air bite at my cheeks as I stepped outside. Taking in a shaky breath I allowed my legs to carry me towards the door, my hands clammy and fingers fidgety.

The boys were always simple- and even their nice townhouse was in an everyday neighbourhood, with nothing elaborate on the outside. Just as it had always been, as if time never flew by.

I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I’ve known Nick and Noah for years. We were neighbours growing up, went to high school together, and even shared memories from our adulthood. These boys knew me and I knew them, but I knew that things were different now. 

The boys had just finished tour, and have grown exponentially in their music careers. They walked around with security now, and had fans dedicated to finding out everything about their lives- they’ve become a spectacle; no longer just Nick, or just Noah. 

The nerves also came because I didn’t even know if I’d be seeing Noah. Admittedly, he was my first crush; and really, I don’t think it ever left. When I first met him in seventh grade he sported a shaggy haircut and a dorky grin, and he’s held my heart with iron bars ever since. Over the years I had just accepted that my feelings would never be reciprocated, and we both dated other people on and off. 

It’s been almost three years since I last got to see him due to the pandemic, and we only ever texted each other on big life events, like birthdays, or during the release of their album. I knew the boys were back when Nick sent out a message that he was looking to tattoo again. I sported a few of Nick’s pieces, but I was looking to get a cover-up of a bad decision I made during a past relationship. I texted Nick asking if he was available, and here I am; right outside Nick’s house. 

I sighed deeply, trying to persuade the anxiety out of my lungs, before knocking, following the pattern I had always used when I was younger. Within seconds I was greeted by a pair of grey-green eyes and a wide smile, my nervousness beginning to cease.

“Y/N!” I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, and I let out a sigh of relief I didn’t know I was holding in. My grin matched his own as I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing back, laughing.

“It’s nice to see you Ruffilo.” 

We pulled away from each other and shared another smile. I took off my leather Doc Martens, straightening my fuzzy red polka-dot socks before giving him another hug, smiling into his neck.

“It’s been way too long,” Nick said, giving me an empathetic glance as we separated. “Life has just been crazy.”

“Yeah, I almost wonder if I should be bowing to you right now considering how famous you’ve gotten,” I couldn’t help but laugh, and Nick rolled his eyes, leading me down the hall. The place was neat; white paint, and light flooring. Various Bad Omen’s posters and records hung neatly on the wall, along with other abstract art pieces. It was delicate and simple, just as they way they always kept it. It’s nice to see that they haven’t changed in that regard. 

“Trust me, no bowing is required.” Nick turned back to face me, his smile radiating, before motioning at a door ahead, and I walked into a small office filled with tattoo supplies. It was Nick’s mini-home tattoo studio. 

“Wow, this is awesome Nick. You’ve always wanted your own little studio.” I said, looking at his work plastered on the wall, soaking it in with awe.

He sighed happily, “Yeah, when we were looking for a house that was one of my requirements. I needed my own space; just because we make music doesn’t mean I’ll give up tattooing.”

I nodded, taking a seat on the chair. “Thank you for seeing me by the way, I appreciate you squeezing me in.”  

“Hey, for you, I’d do anything.” He smiled warmly, sitting across from me. 

Nick and I chatted for almost an hour before even starting the tattoo. We caught up and talked about tours, and I loved getting to listen to his stories about performing and getting to travel the world. It seemed like the dream, especially considering that before the pandemic, they joked about only pleasing ten fans.

However, the entire time I felt distracted. The only thing my mind kept wandering to was if Noah was home, or if he was going to show up. I felt ashamed being so disconnected from the conversation with Nick; because he was someone I cared about deeply. Yet, my thoughts took me elsewhere. 

“You alright?” Nick asked gently, as he started preparing his supplies, glancing at me teasingly.

“Oh yeah! I’m good!” I smiled reassuringly and Nick echoed me, chuckling to himself.

“What?” I asked him, the cheesy grin plastered on his face making me nervous.

“Noah will be home soon, he’s just out with Davis.” 

I stared at him, my cheeks beginning to flush, “Okay, cool?” I shrugged nonchalantly, but my stomach immediately began doing spirals, nerves bubbling throughout my veins.

Nick wiped my thigh, preparing the location for the stencil quietly before asking, “You never told him how you felt?” 

I watched him cautiously, eyes flickering between his hands and his eyes, “I- I don’t feel anything,” I shook my head, ears getting even hotter. “That was so long ago.”

Nick looked up through his lashes, looking very unconvinced, “Sure, and I don’t play in a band.”

Rolling my eyes, I gave him an annoyed smile, “It would be nice to see him. It’s been a long time- and he doesn’t post anything online anymore, or text.”

Nick nodded as he wiped and re-drew the outline on my leg, “Noah’s been pretty recluse. He’s gotten a lot of anxiety from the fame; mostly just sticks to himself when we finish shows. Plus, he doesn’t enjoy dealing with some of the fans.” 

I frowned, feeling myself get sad. Noah has always been pretty introverted, but it looked like he was getting out of his shell on stage. He was playing into the pretty boy facade he had going, and he knew he was hot. I’ve seen plenty of videos from the tour. 

“Well, I hope he is doing alright,” I said softly, looking around the room again for any form of distraction.

As if on cue I heard the front door open, and a yell cascaded down the hall, “You better not have a girl in your room,” he had teased.

Immediately I felt the hair on my neck stand in anticipation, realizing that the voice belonged to Noah. My fingers began to tingle as all the blood rushed towards my face, my chest losing any ounce of breath I was just able to exhale.

His voice bounded across the walls again, “but, these are some pretty sick boots.”

“Got someone even better,” Nick yelled back, laughing, “In the tattoo room.”

A head of brunette hair popped in the doorway, his eyes immediately widening as if his whole world suddenly began to spin within milliseconds. A small flush of colour ran down his ears onto the tops of his cheekbones, before a wide, childlike smile appeared on his face. He stepped into the room, immediately crossing his arms, and leaning on the side of the table as if he thought he was doing something charming.

“No fucking way, look what the cat dragged in,” his Virginian accent dancing off his tongue. 

I looked back at him, my heart racing even faster. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, but he did take my breath away. Noah looked older, but healthy, becoming a lot more muscular and defined, despite his height and lank still being there. His hair was short, a layer of bangs hanging across his forehead in a messy sweep. It was the first time I’d seen him in person without his long hair, all 13 inches gone; but it suited him. I soaked in his appearance, noticing a few new tattoos layered around his fingers as well, my heart yearning. 

“Is that really my Y/N/N?” he stared at me, the grin not leaving his face, especially after using my childhood nickname. Noah walked towards me shyly with open arms, squinting his eyes in contentment as he invited me in for a hug.

“the one and only.” I breathed a nervous laugh, standing up. Shaky limbs carried me over to him and he wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me within his body. 

I composed myself, inhaling slowly, before hugging back, squeezing his torso. I felt so small compared to him, yet I still fit right between his arms, as if I was meant to always be there, a spot reserved just for me. We rocked back and forth in a tight embrace, his chest vibrating as he let out a happy chuckle. 

“Oh my god, it’s been so long.” I could hear the happiness radiating off of him.

I sighed with relief at his reaction; he must’ve missed me too. He held onto me for a moment more, and I breathed in his scent, recognizing his favourite Dior cologne. Smiling into his chest, It felt comfortable- it felt familiar. Years of memories flooded back, my heart recalling, reminding myself that he was who I had been missing in my life all along. 

“Wow, you’ve changed Y/N,” Noah said as he pulled away, stepping back slightly, taking me in with a look of awe. He absorbed all of me, drinking in my image, before grabbing the sides of my face, and staring into me with an immense amount of appreciation. 

I looked up at him in admiration, studying his deep October eyes as they sang unspoken words, retelling a story that only our bodies knew. 

“Your hair,” I said as my hand unconsciously found its way to his locks.

My fingers flowed down his no longer existing threads, reminiscing of his past image. That chapter of his life was gone. He’s been reborn into a much more confident man, a newer version of the Noah that once was. I almost longed for his old appearance, because I didn’t know this Noah- but by the way his eyes gleamed, he was still mine. 

Noah chuckled, “Yeah, I was tired of getting it in my mouth when singing.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into his hand, before pulling away to look at Nick.

Nick gave us a sly smile, shaking his head gently. 

“I didn’t expect to see you,” Noah sighed, still smiling. I swear it hasn’t left his face since he saw me. He looked over at Nick, “And you didn’t even tell me?”

“I thought it would be a fun surprise,” Nick looked at Noah playfully, before patting the tattoo chair. I took a seat again, positioning my thigh within Nick's reach. 

“You’re getting some ink?” Noah asked, folding his arms in approval as he leaned over me, looking at the stencil outlined on my skin. 

“Yeah, Nick said he wanted to tattoo again, and I needed an excuse to visit,” I said cheekily. 

Noah nodded repeatedly, still analyzing my thigh. “You never needed an excuse. You should’ve texted us. Texted me.”

I shrugged, “I didn’t want to get in the way. You guys are busy- especially now. the last thing you need is unnecessary messages or phone calls.” 

“I haven’t seen you in like three years Y/N,” Noah said, sighing a sad smile. He sat down on a stool, folding his ankle over his knee. 

Nick began to outline the tattoo, and I winced briefly,  “I know.” 

“You never came to see us on this tour.” Noah looked at the floor, analyzing the outline of his white vans. I glanced at him quickly, before concentrating on Nick’s hands. “You know we’d have gotten you in right?”

I gave him a mournful look, “I’d pay just like everyone else, Noah. I don’t expect anything…but I honestly just got super busy.”

“I was really hoping you’d be there.” 

I felt my heart clench and my chest tighten at his words. “I’m sorry.” I peered over at him, barely being able to maintain eye contact as I chewed the inside of my cheek.

“I’m sorry I didn’t invite you either; it does go both ways,” Noah said, and we shared a wry smile. 

“You should come see us this weekend,” Nick said while concentrating. I furrowed my eyebrows as he scratched along my skin, the area beginning to redden. Despite having multiple tattoos, I never enjoyed the experience of getting them. 

“What time? And where?” I asked, biting the inside of my cheek, and closing my eyes at the burning sensation. 

Noah scrolled on his phone before I felt my own buzz. Looking at it, I saw a message from Noah. It was a ticket with VIP access. 

“I don’t need VIP,” I looked at him in appreciation. 

Noah smiled down at his phone, “Well last time I checked, VIP stands for ‘very important persons’, and arguably our childhood bestie is in that category.” 

“Well, thank you.” I smiled gratefully, butterflies still knocking on every organ in my body.

“So,” Noah began, shifting positions so he was leaning his elbows on his knees, peering over to stare at my leg, “You and Sean broke it off?”

I followed his gaze, staring at the faded puzzle piece beneath the purple markings of Nick's outline. 

Sean was my first serious boyfriend. We were friends in high school, and admittedly always had some sort of connection. We started dating, and were together for four years; before I found somebody else sleeping with him in our bedroom. 

I looked longingly at the puzzle piece, my eyes snapping away once Nick began lining on top of it, covering away the layers of regret, “He cheated on me.” 

Turning to face Noah, his face immediately shifted from sympathetic to anger, “What a complete fucking tool.” He spat, folding his arms in the chair. Noah’s reaction surprised me, but I nodded in agreement. 

“Yep.” I sighed, shrugging my shoulders, “Note to self, don’t get a matching tattoo. You probably won't be with that person forever.” I said, pessimistically. 

Noah was quiet for a moment, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated his question, “Did you catch him?”  

I nodded, furrowing my eyebrows in annoyance, “In our bedroom too.” 

Noah scoffed, audibly groaning while he tilted his head back in hostility, “Pathetic piece of shit. I never liked him being with you.” 

My heart raced as Noah glared at the puzzle piece that began to disappear on my thigh, “At least now you’ll get to have a better piece of art on your body.”

“Exactly,” I smiled proudly, watching Nick’s hands run along the skin, “and it’s the one and only Nicholas Ruffilo’s handy work too.” 

Nick glanced up smiling. It was quiet for a moment, and I chewed on my lip, anxious to ask.

“What about you? Any ladies?” I said to Noah playfully, winking. Deep down though, I was hoping the answer was no one.

Noah gave me a small smile, “No one at the moment, last relationship ended poorly.” 

“That makes two of us.” I chuckled sorrowfully 

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Noah pushed me against the bedroom door, lips attached to my own hastily. His kiss was desperate and hungry as he cupped my face in his hands, and I felt weak in the knees as our hips were pushed together, the heat radiating off of him. 

“You have no idea how long I have waited to do this.” He breathed between kisses.

My hands found their way to Noah’s hair, rubbing my fingers along his scalp affectionately. I smiled through his lips, eagerly holding myself against him. 

“It was so worth the wait.” He whispered, pulling away and putting his forehead against my own. He stared into me, right through me with so much intent. I had always wanted to kiss him, and my heart skipped a beat as I realized where he was, succumbing to me. 

I closed my eyes, smiling, “you have no idea how badly I wanted that too.”

He smiled widely, glancing down at my lips again, this time pulling me into his arms while kissing me with force and passion.

“Tell me how badly,” he whispered, running his fingers delicately across my waist and I melted into his touch.

“Honestly? Probably ever since we met.” I admitted, my face turning red with embarrassment at the confession, “and it’s never gone away.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Noah pulled away from the kiss, running his hand up my arm to cup the side of my face again, thumb tracing a gentle circle along my cheekbone. He looked desperate for an answer as if this was all he’s ever wanted to hear. I felt Noah’s heartbeat racing rapidly through his chest, which heaved heavily against my own. 

“I never thought you felt that way, and I didn’t want to push anything because I didn’t want to lose you,” I confessed, looking away nervously. 

Noah hummed quietly, pulling my chin towards him in another delicate kiss. His lips were warm and gentle. “You’ll never lose me. No matter how long it’s been.”

Noah began running his hands up and down my sides before sliding them between my skin and the hem of my jeans. Immediately I felt flush, and I let my own hands ride up his black t-shirt. His skin was soft and warm, and my fingertips began to tingle with nerves.

Noah hooked his fingers in the loop of my jeans, tugging me towards him and trailing us toward his desk. My thighs hit the back of it, and Noah lifted me gently, placing me on top, and positioning himself between my legs. His warm hands caressed my lower back, creating goosebumps as his nails trailed up and down the skin lightly. I shivered from the sensation.

Noah’s tongue swiped my bottom lip, and I allowed him to kiss me deeper, our tongues melding together. I began tugging at his shirt, and Noah let out a low chuckle.

“You sure you want to do this?” Noah pulled away from my lips to stare into my eyes, looking at me sternly, and analyzing every movement I made.

“yes,” I whined, almost embarrassingly needy, “Do you?”

Noah hung his head, shaking it slowly, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to fuck someone so badly in my entire life,” He looked up with hooded eyes.

“Then take me however you want.” I sighed, pulling at his shirt again, and Noah looked at me darkly with lust, his October eyes fading into an onyx abyss.

Noah pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his tattooed chest; I stared at the ink longingly, remembering when he first got his desolate tattoo. I traced my fingers over the letters delicately, smiling to myself. This moment between us felt like I was reminiscing over all my lost time with Noah.

“Do you still feel this way?” I asked softly, as Noah pulled off my own shirt, leaving me exposed in my pink laced bra. Noah placed his hand on top of mine as I traced the last letter.

He shook his head, “No, but it will always be a reminder of when I felt empty.”

“I'm glad you don’t feel that way anymore,” I whispered, and Noah’s hands explored my body once again, before pulling on the hem of my jeans.

Bringing me into a kiss again, he fiddled with the zipper before tugging my pants down my legs, leaving me exposed in my underwear.

“I’ve probably envisioned you naked weekly.” Noah admitted as he kissed down my neck, hands roaming over every inch of skin in desperation, “I need to taste you, princess.”

I blushed at his words, and Noah’s kisses trailed further from my neck, teeth grazing across my collarbone to between my breasts. His breath quickened as he kissed lower and lower, licking down my stomach until he stopped right at the edge of my underwear.

“This okay?” He breathed heavily, his own face flushing. I nodded, and Noah pulled at the lace, revealing me.

“Fuck,” He groaned, looking up through his eyelashes briefly before placing his mouth against me, letting his slim fingers trace patterns across the sensitive skin.

Noah’s tongue circled me before he inserted two fingers, and I let out a moan. He pumped slowly, moaning quietly against me, “Oh, you wouldn’t want Nick to hear.”

I squeezed my thighs together around his head in pleasure, and Noah’s free hand gripped my thigh, pulling me even closer.

I began to pant faster, trying to be quiet, “Oh my god Noah,” I let my head fall back, resting against the wall as Noah ate me out feverishly, like this was his last meal. His fingers curled upwards, the repetitive motion sending my abdomen into a knot of fulfillment, my legs shaking against his body.

“Fuck, I need to stop or I'm going to come in my pants- and I don’t want to yet.” Noah’s eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. Taking his fingers that were inside me into his mouth, he licked them clean before pulling himself up. I watched in disbelief- that was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen him do; even compared to Noah’s stage performances of The Death of Peace of Mind. He grabbed my ass, hoisting me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Noah was extremely hard, his clothed member digging into me as he carried me towards his bed; he kissed me again and I tasted myself off of his tongue.

Noah laid me on the bed, kissing along my neck again as my hands roamed his hair before he unclasped my bra and pulled my panties down, exposing me fully to him.

“You are gorgeous, shit,” Noah mumbled, absorbing me with his eyes as he pulled his shorts down hastily, and I couldn’t help but let my own eyes wander across Noah’s fully exposed body, swallowing hard.

A new warmth washed over me as I got even wetter between my legs, the familiar feeling of excitement preparing my body for Noah’s; but this was different. This time it was Noah, here in front of me. Noah ran his fingers along my folds, moaning and internally begging to replace his hands with his own heat longing to be touched.

Noah spit into his hand and I watched attentively, following his every move as my body shivered. Noah rubbed along himself, before positioning his body above mine.

We shared eye-contact again and I nodded in approval before Noah pushed inside, his body immediately shuddering as I moved my hips against his, and he sighed deeply, squeezing his eyes closed briefly.

“God fucking dammit, you feel so good, princess.”

My legs parted as Noah’s body sunk into mine, his thrusts getting deeper and heavier. I let out another moan, “Oh- my-god-Noah.”

Words were coiled at my throat as Noah pounded into me, hands on either side of my head, his necklace dangling in my face.

“Look at me.” Noah’s voice was rough, and I stared into his eyes. He watched me with every thrust, and I mumbled a string of messy swears, my body clenching around his.

Noah’s arms wrapped around my body, pulling me up so I was positioned on top of him, but so that there was enough leverage for him to continue to thrust into me from below. This new position allowed him to penetrate me deeper and groaned with every entrance of his body into mine.

Noah grabbed the back of my neck and the middle of my back, holding me still as he fully gave himself into me before pulling me into another kiss. His mouth attached to mine hastily, bucking his hips aimlessly. Noah’s moans were almost louder than mine as he shamelessly allowed himself a pleasure.

“Mark me, Noah, show me I was always yours.” I whimpered, and Noah immediately attached to my neck, biting and sucking against the delicate skin that was pinned along my neck.

I heaved into his ear, resting my forehead on his shoulder as he held my hips, allowing myself to completely undo myself, moaning as my body reached my climax.

“Fuck me, Noah,” I panted, gripping his arms as I clenched around him, letting him thrust into me as I rode out my high.

Noah pulled my neck back to look at him again, sweat dripping across his forehead and his eyebrows furrowed in rapture, “please let me cum inside you Y/N.”

I nodded, kissing him eagerly, our saliva melding together as Noah moaned into the kiss. His body quivered as he released himself, exhaling in short breaths of satisfaction.

“Holy shit,” Noah mumbled into my neck, and I held onto him, a smile plastering itself onto my face. We sat there for a moment, panting against each other as our chests heaved, sweat attaching us together. I ran my fingers along Noah’s hair again, absorbing his handsome features, and taking him in.

He looked up at me, his eyes back to their October glow, but now replaced with a gleam of devotion. He tucked the loose strands of my H/C hair behind my ear.

I placed my lips lightly on his, “I missed you so fucking much Noah.”

“I missed you so much princess,” Noah’s hand grabbed the back of my head gently, caressing me into his chest and holding on protectively. He pulled a blanket over us as we lay together out of breath, both relishing the high of our orgasms and the story we just created together.

“I guess I thought you got too busy to be my friend,” I whispered vulnerably as we lay underneath his covers, the story we created longing against my skin.

Noah’s head rested on top of my own, and I felt his body stiffen slightly, “life has been crazy, everything is so different now. We are no longer just screaming in my garage.” He rubbed my arm, nails trailing across my skin once again.

I nodded against him in understanding, “I know. I hope you know I watched every single concert online that I could. I followed so many fan pages just to keep updated on how you were doing.”

Noah pulled me away from him softly, he looked at me with awe, “Did you really?” 

“Of course.” I looked up, smiling at him in adoration. 

“I was always hoping you’d show up again at my doorstep sometime. You have no idea how happy I am right now.” He laughed, pulling me into him again. I smiled against his chest, absorbing this moment, worried it might be my last.

“I love you, Noah Sebastian Davis.”

“I love you most Y/N Y/L/N.”

Part Two if you want more smut ;)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Life in the City 5

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bad friends, creep behaviour, abuse of power dynamics, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You move to the big city and find yourself swallowed up by its chaos.

Characters: Clark Kent, Thor Odinson, short!reader

Note: Heloooooo.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you. No tag list, do not ask for updates.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As promised, you’re shown to your new office by the end of the day. You put your meagre box of belongings on the desk and unpack a piece at a time. Isn’t an exhaustive task so you take your time. 

You put your watermelon post-its by the base of the monitor’s pedestal and your cell phone screen lights up. It’s been buried in your bag for much of the day but you took it out to reconnect to your work accounts. Melanie’s name fills the top of the screen. You still haven’t responded to her since the weekend. 

You swipe up your phone and cross the office. You answer as you shut the door, eking out a tiny hello as you turn back and bite your thumb. You pace aimlessly as your stomach knots. You don‘t think you’re mad at her, just embarrassed about how it all turned out. She knows how many times your excitement was burnt to disappointment, you hoped she wouldn’t have added to your pile ashes. 

“Hey, girl, you busy? I’ve been calling you all week.” 

It’s Tuesday, you think to yourself. 

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot going on at work--” 

“That’s great,” she interrupts, “did you see my texts? I really am sorry about the other night. You know, I was stressed. Clark was out of town for his job and I hadn’t seen him all week. Really, I didn’t forget about you, I just thought we were meeting Saturday, not Friday.” 

Your mouth slants as you weigh her excuse. You don’t know if you believe her but it could be true. How long have you been friends? Doesn’t she deserve the benefit of the doubt?

“Everyone gets busy,” you say with a brittle laugh, “I totally get it. Next time I’ll be clearer, that’s all. Make sure there’s no misunderstanding.” 

“Of course,” her voice is trills and is overly affected, “I just wanted to check in since Clark said you were so upset.” 

“He did?” You frown as you stop by the desk and take your stapler out of the box. 

“Uh, yeah, he did. So, in the future, if your upset, you can just let me know, hon,” her tone drips like syrup, “we’re friends, aren’t we? I mean, it’s a big city and we gotta stick together.” 

“Erm, sure, I’m sorry, I didn’t think... I wasn’t upset. I didn’t say anything, you know, I was just tired.” 

“Whatever, hon, it’s behind us now, isn’t it? You forgive me?” She pauses, waiting. 

“Y-yeah?” You answer. 

“Aw, that’s so wonderful,” she chimes, “anyway, you sound busy. You must be working so I’ll let you go. Ciao.” 

She hangs up and you hold the phone to your ear for a moment after the line dies. That was weird. Like she wasn’t really talking to you, but more putting on a show for someone. Strange. 

You drop your arm and a knock comes at the door. You wince and put your phone screen down. You face the door and fold your hands. 

“Uh, who is it?” You call out. 

The door opens and a throat clears, “just me,” Thor says as he enters, “wanted to be sure you got some of the leftovers.” 

He has a container in his hands. You try to blow off the tension and force a smile. You drop your arms straight and drag a finger up and down the seam of your pants. 

“Thanks, that’s too sweet,” you chirp. 

“Ah, I made sure to get you some cinnamon cookies,” he nears and offers the container. 

“Oh, my, I shouldn’t,” you accept the box. 

“You shouldn’t?” He wonders, “you’re not on some diet, are you? You hardly need one.”  

You laugh nervously, “oh, no,” you back up and spin to put the container on the desk. You go back and reach into the box, “I just... I have a rotten sweet tooth, you know? Sugar keeps me up.” 

“Mmm, well, you should indulge. Enjoy. Nothing wrong with allowing yourself the small things,” he goads, “so,” he claps his hands, the sound making you jump, “your office. How do you like it?” 

He looks around theatrically as he pivots. You take out your small blue mug with the teddy bear on it and follow his gaze, “it’s nice. Big.” 

“Yes, I suppose you don’t take up much space,” he remarks, “if you need any supplies, you can just let me know.” 

“Oh, um, I shouldn’t. I... I could just contact finance--” 

“Come to me,” he insists, “accounting takes too long.” 

“Okay,” you agree. 

“Are you excited?” He asks as he turns to you. 

“Sure,” you answer. 

“Mm,” he hums, “you’re sweet, but I don’t want you to stress. If there’s anything overwhelming me, don’t be afraid to let me know.” 

“I know, thank you, Mr. Odinson.” 

“Thor,” he corrects you with a wink, “you don’t know want to know Mr. Odinson.” He grins and you look at him blankly, “my father. He’s an old grump.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you put the cup down and rub your palms together, “it’s been a long day.” 

“It has indeed,” he checks his watch, “you’re almost done... I should let you finish.” He flicks his finger towards your desk, “tomorrow, the heavy lifting begins.” 

“Yeah,” you murmur. 

“Don’t forget your treats,” he points to the container, “you’ve earned it.” 

“Right, thanks again,” your smile trembles as fatigue nips at the corner of your eyes. 

“See you tomorrow morning,” he avows before he spins and goes to the door. 

You return your attention to the box as you sense him hovering at the threshold. You think he’s looking at you but you’re too nervous to check. Finally, the door closes and you exhale and close your eyes. You can’t believe how much today has taken out of you and the days to come promise much of the same. 

🏙️

You yawn as you come out of your building, eyelids heavy and itchy as you rub them with your knuckles. You hitch up your bag as you turn down the sidewalk and cross to the stop on the other side of the street. You barely slept through the anxiety and anticipation. The unknown stresses you out more than anything and you really have no idea what you’re walking into. 

You let your head lean back as you give another silent roar of fatigue. You roll your shoulders and urge yourself to wake up. You got to get with it. You can’t show up at the office half-asleep. 

The whir of an engine approaches and you look towards the direction of the bus route. Its too quiet to be a bus. Instead, there’s a vaguely familiar car that slows instead of passing. You squint and cross your arms defensively. You have to keep reminding yourself this is the city. 

The window rolls down as you bounce on your feet awkwardly, “hey,” your name rises in the deep timbre. 

You bend and find Clark smiling at you. Of course! That’s why you recognised his car. 

“Heyyyy,” you say, “what are you doing... here?” 

“Working on a story, actually. Was in the area and... what timing, huh?” He pushes his shoulder up as he keeps one hand on the steering wheel, “you on your way to work?” 

“Yup,” you answer brightly, swallowing another yawn, “bus should be here soon.” 

“The bus? Get in, I’ll give you a ride.” 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to... that’s too far.” 

“Where do you work?” 

“Tempest,” you answer. 

“Tempest? That’s right by the paper. I’ll take you, no problem.” 

“Really?” Your brows arch dramatically, “that’s so nice of you.” 

“Of course,” he pats the passenger seat and the door unlocks with a loud click.

“I owe you one." You open the door and get in, tempted to melt into the seat. It’s so much better than the stiff ones on the bus. Ugh, your head is tenuous at best. It could start pounding at any minute. 

“How are you?” Clark asks as you buckle in. 

“Alright,” you repress yet another yawn, “how are you? How’s Melly?” 

“Melly?” He chuckles, “she’s fine, I think. I'm... fine too.” 

“Oh...” you twiddle your fingers in your lap as he slowly leans on the gas and pulls away from the curb, “just fine?” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve just been... talking a lot. You know, relationship stuff,” he drives with one hand, combing his other through his hair. 

“Ah, right,” you nod, “hopefully it’s okay.” 

“Huh,” he scoffs and puts his other hand on the wheel, “you’re a good friend.” 

“I... guess,” you shrug. “I... I just think Melanie really likes you.” 

“Oh, I know she does,” he laughs, “doesn’t keep her from being... how she is. I like her too but we both know she can be very demanding.” 

“She can be,” you agree, “but I think that’s just her personality. Sometimes I wish I could be more like her.” 

“Why would you want that?” he asks. 

“Er...” 

“I just mean, you’re you. Everyone’s different right and you’re just so sweet,” he says, “this world has enough Melanies.” 

“Maybe,” you turn your head and cover your mouth as you yawn at the window. 

“I’m dying for a coffee,” Clark says, his tone shifting smoothly with the topic, “how about you? Green tea?” 

You look at him. He remembers your order? You rub your cheek and drop your hand to your lap. 

“I’m okay, but thank you--” 

“Really, it’s no big deal,” he flips the blinker on, “I need an espresso so, how about it? Iced, hot?” 

You bite the inside of your lip. You really could use a boost. You don’t often get the chance. Your bus ride is too long to factor in a cafe run. 

“Could I get a matcha latte, iced? I have some change,” you open your bag and shove your hand inside. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves you off. 

“Really, you’re giving me a ride. The least I can do--” 

“The least you can do is let me buy your drink,” he insists, “because I kinda have a big favour to ask you.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, uh, it’s for Melanie. You must know her birthday is coming up.” 

“Yeah, I know--” 

“I really wanna work through things with her and I figured if I threw her a party, maybe it’s better than all this talking,” he joins the queue for the drive thru, “and you’ve known Melanie a lot longer than me so you’re like an expert. Do you think you could help me out?” 

“A birthday party? Well, I... could try. Mel’s always been the one into parties and planning and all that.” 

“I’m not good at it either but you know what she likes. I could use help at least with colours or whatever,” he suggest, “I mean, obviously, you don’t have to. I’m not going to blackmail you with a car ride and a latte.” 

You laugh rockily, “well, I could try. It wouldn’t be so bad and I should do something special. We’re both finally living in the same city. Maybe this would help with us too.” 

“Us? You and... Mel?” 

You give him a look then look through the windshield. You fidget as he rolls up to the speaker and orders. You wait until he’s done. 

“Things were awkward the other day when I crashed your date night,” you say, “I’m sure you caught on.” 

“Yeah, yeah, she wasn’t very gracious,” his tone lowers sharply. 

“It’s okay. She didn’t mean anything. I’m not upset--” 

“Did she apologise?” He asks abruptly. 

“Uh, yeah, of course, but she doesn’t have to--” 

“I think you deserve the apology,” he interrupts again. “You know, you don’t deserve to be walked all over like that. Hell, if I had friend like you, I think I’d treat you a lot better.” 

“I’m not upset,” you assure him, his mood making you uneasy. It’s flattering he would be so upset on your behalf but you’d rather just put it all behind you, “she said sorry, it’s all good.” You wiggle your foot as you think, “alright, I can help with the party.” 

“Ah, yes, you’re a life saver,” he pulls up to the window and pays. He gets the drinks and hands you the matcha before he slips his in the cup holder, “great, I’ll get your number and we can throw around ideas when you have a chance.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure, I could...” the cup soaks your hands in condensation, chilling you, “I’ll do my best. I have a new assignment at work so I’ll be a bit tied up.” 

“No problem, whenever you can. Hope you don’t mind if I send you a couple of pictures I saw,” he says, “tryna come up with a vision, you know?” 

“That’s cool,” you pause to sip the matcha, nearly sighing at the refreshing flow that coats your stomach, “thank you so much for the tea.” 

“Any time,” he says as he pulls out into the street, “anything you need at all.” 

[maybankswhore]

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀 , 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓?

“ yes i know that he’s my ex but can’t two people reconnect? i only see him as a friend. ”

SUMMARY: rafe cameron’s back in kildare and he’s got one thing on his mind: you.

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader.

WARNINGS: alcohol , cursing & heavy petting.

“ i only see him as a friend ” — the biggest lie i ever said. yes i know that he’s my ex but can’t two people reconnect? . . . i just tripped and fell into his bed. ”

“ haven’t heard from you in a couple of months but i’m out right now & i’m all fucked up & you’re calling my phone , you’re all alone & i’m sensin’ some undertone. & i’m right here with all my friends but you’re sending me your new address & i know we’re done & i know we’re through— ”

You and JJ had taken one too many tequila shots. Somehow you convinced herself it was fate , drowning in alcohol while thinking of him. It had been months since you and Rafe had broken up— months , and while you seemed to be over it just fine in front of everyone else , you knew you weren’t.

The last time you had seen him , you knew it was really over. It hadn’t felt like all the other fights especially not after what happened with the Sherriff and then his dad not too long after. With everything going on , the only good thing he really did back then was let you go while figuring his own shit out.

Everyone told you it was for the better. It was easier to forget with him away from Kildare and you had found yourself in a new group of friends that helped ease your transition from being Rafe’s girlfriend— to being a new and improved Y/N.

Was all of that progress really worth losing?

Hey. I’m back.

The text had illuminated your face in the night air. The wind whipping at you as you stood in place , looking at your phone. You knew it was Rafe because even though you had deleted his contact in a fit of rage and sadness not too long after the break–up , he was still the only person you knew who bothered to text with correct punctuation and capitalization. Blinking as you looked at it , you subconsciously glanced around to see if anyone had noticed knowing what they’d say if they did. Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard , debating responding.

You could always blame it on the alcohol , right?

oh.

Was all you said before your phone started ringing , and the number you had memorized by heart and never was able to forget popped up. Panicking while looking around , you rushed through the crowds of people to find a quiet spot away on the beach. You only hoped he’d give up and hang up before you found one. It was silly for you to be this excited , and even more so to be so quick in answering. But with those shots in mind , you pressed answer.

“Hey.”

Rafe’s voice made you shiver. It had been forever since you had heard it last. Swallowing the enormous lump in your throat , you opened your mouth to answer. “Who is this?” You asked , sounding unsure. You could hear him chuckling at your question— and you knew that he knew.

“Rafe.” He responded and you could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “Did you get my text?”

“Yeah.”

The music was still thumping but not close enough to where you couldn’t hear him shuffling around on the other end. “Where are you? What’s the noise?”

“Doesn’t matter.” You rolled your eyes. “Why did you call me Rafe? Like what do you want from me?”

“Just wanted to let you know I was back in town. . .” he trailed off. “I’ve missed you , you know.”

There it was. You almost groaned out loud as soon as he said it. Not because you didn’t like hearing it , but because you knew exactly where it’d lead to. Sighing as you rubbed a hand down your face , your lips pursed. “Somehow I doubt that.”

“Y/N—” Rafe started but you interrupted him.

“Seriously. What do you want?”

“To see you.” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Kelce and I just finished up in the apartment and you’re the first person I called.”

He was making it hard. The two of you were broken up and all for good reasons— but even though you couldn’t admit it out loud , you did miss him and you found yourself responding before processing what you said. “What apartment?”

“Where are you? I’ll come pick you up—”

“No!” You shouted , shutting your eyes in embarrassment as soon as you had. Rafe couldn’t pull up there. For one , it didn’t matter how ‘broken up’ the two of you were— you knew Rafe Cameron. Seeing you on the cut around JJ , John B especially , he wouldn’t like it. Your friends wouldn’t appreciate watching you getting in his truck either , and would definitely try talking you out of it. “I mean— send me your address and I’ll uber there.”

Rafe was silent and you thought he’d hang up. But you heard him mumble something to himself before feeling your phone vibrate. “I’m glad you’re coming , Y/N. I really did miss you. Send me a picture of whoever comes and gets you just in case.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t bother saying you missed him back regardless if you did or not. Saying things like that made it complicated. If anything you were only going to see him just to check up. Make sure he was okay. Sure Rafe had been shitty , did shitty things , but in the end Rafe had always loved you and the feeling was mutual. Things like that don’t just go away.

“ seein’ you tonight , it’s a bad idea , right? ”

You always you were getting yourself caught up in shit you shouldn’t be. How stupid could you be , really. Rafe was your ex for a reason. It took you so long to even get yourself to leave your room after it happened , to eat a proper meal. You were heartbroken.

“ seein’ you tonight , it’s a bad idea , right? ”

Of course it was a bad idea. It was! But what’s the worse that could happen? It was just one night. You shouldn’t , though. Not after everything. Not even if he didn’t mean all those things he said. Not even if he said how much he missed you and how genuine he sounded. This would blow up in your face.

But how bad was bad?

“ yes i know that he’s my ex! but can’t two people reconnect? i only see him as a friend. ”

As you walked back to the beach , you started the conversation in your head.

There were tons of people who were friends with their ex. Like , who else could know you better than a person like that? And so much time had passed that he was probably a different person now , just like you were. Your heart ached to see him again because it had been so long. You wanted to hear all about what he’s been up to , how he was dealing with everything. You still cared about him. You just didn’t love him.

You couldn’t , could you?

People reconnect with eachother all the time. Rafe was just a friend now. That was it.

Right?

the biggest lie i’ve ever said.

You told your friends you weren’t feeling good anymore. They were too drunk to really notice you looked fine. If anything you were sick to your stomach with nerves. JJ walked you to your Uber and hugged you goodbye , telling you to text him when you made it home.

You almost felt bad about lying.

The whole ride Rafe was texting you , he wasn’t ever a fan of you using Uber’s to get around. Always saying he was the safest option.

The apartments were nice. He was on the second floor and by the time you had gotten to his door , he was already standing in the doorway waiting for you. You tried playing it cool , but he had looked better than ever. Surely you had seen other people , other guys and maybe then they were hotter than he was. Or whatever you tried convincing yourself then.

But he looked different now. Older. There was something different about the atmosphere he brought. With his hair shaven away to nothing but a buzzcut— one that only someone like him could pull off so fucking well. So well actually , that it almost pissed you off. His upper lip held the tiniest bit of hair in a stache–esque way and if you hadn’t looked away , your knees would have given out.

“You look so pretty.” Was the first thing out of his mouth and you flushed , standing in front of him awkwardly. “You also look like you’ve been out.”

He tried not to think about who you were out with. Pushing down the familiarity of possession over you mixed with a bit of jealousy. It didn’t matter if the two of you were broken up— not to him , anyway. Rafe knew as soon as he could , he’d be going back to you. He hadn’t even bothered looking at another girl. But it would be selfish of him to expect the same.

“Are you gonna let me come in or what?” You shuffled on your feet as you ignored his words. Your eyes flashed behind him to peak in , wondering what the Rafe now lived like.

Clearing his throat , Rafe nodded. Moving back to let you come inside. Your eyes roamed the walls as you did. It was more simple than you imagined , the smell of new hit your nose so what he said earlier on the phone proved to be true. There were a few empty boxes laid around. Rafe was quiet as he let you wander around , leaning against the wall. His eyes roamed over you— taking you in. Everything in his body was burning , begging to close the gap between the two of you. He wasn’t lying when he said he had missed you. All of you.

You paused when you saw a picture of the two of you propped up in a picture frame one of the counters. The memory in the photo seeming ages ago. The two of you were only sixteen in the photo , his arm wrapped around you as showed off the horribly decorated Halloween cookies. Your fingers ghosted over it , finding your heart crying at it.

“It’s one of my favorite pictures of us.” Rafe said when he noticed what had stopped you. “Even if my hair was fucking terrible.”

You giggled at that. It was. Not at the time , though. At the time there had been no other boy who looked as handsome with handfuls of gel in their hair. The innocence in his face in the picture almost made you sad. “Mine’s our first Christmas—” you turned around to look at him , hands at your sides. “When I forced you to where the Santa costume for Wheezie and her friends.” Rose had taken that picture for you then. You were sitting in his lap , pretending you were talking to Santa about what you wanted for Christmas. Which he had listened to your silly , girly wishes and surprised you with a Barbie Dream House. Wheezie had been so jealous.

“Do you still have it?” Rafe questioned. His heart beating in his chest so loud that he wondered if you could hear it , too.

“Yeah.”

You can see the glimmer on his face as you answer him. Your eyes narrow as you cross your arms , shifting on your feet. With your heart thumping rapidly in your chest mixed in with the way he looks— you can feel it start bubbling in your stomach. “What’d you call me for , Rafe?”

“What’d you answer for , Y/N.” He quirked back , matching your stance.

“I didn’t know it was you.” You huffed out a lie.

By the way you avoided his eyes , he could tell you were lying. He also knew you well and knew that you never deleted contacts. “Yeah , sure.”

Knawing on the inside of your cheek , you stayed in place as Rafe slowly walked over to you. His eyes never leaving you as he treaded lightly , cautiously. Every part of you was screaming how bad of an idea this was but nothing in you was strong enough to move. The minute his hand had reached out to touch your cheek , your head lulled to the side to fall into it. A sigh left your mouth quietly. It had still felt the same. Nothing had changed.

“I meant it when I said I missed you.”

“ i only see him as a friend — i just tripped and fell into his bed. ”

You didn’t know how it happened. One minute he was sweet talking you and the next you were stumbling over your feet into his room. You wished you had taken a few more shots— the alcohol completely voided of your body.

His hand held yours as he tugged you in his room , connecting his lips onto yours quickly. You gasped as he kissed you , the fire that had been slowly burning inside of you for months finally catching— igniting almost instantly. Instinctively you reacted , wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him closer.

You huffed as you pulled away , allowing him to lightly push you down on the bed and crawl on top of you. Your legs parted and as he crawled on top of you , the chain he was wearing dangling in his face— it occured to you that all this time you had been lying to yourself. Rafe wasn’t a friend— he never could be , and as his eyes shimmered looking down at you , a part of you could feel that he felt the same.

He was panting. The need to have you as close as possible settling in. Your hands reached up to cup his face , fingers ghosting over his skin. “What would you say if I asked you if you still loved me?” Your words were barely above a whisper as you heart beat loudly in your chest. So loud it thumped in your ears.

Rafe’s eyes softened on you and your hands on his face had felt like a distant memory. Nostalgic and sweet. Leaning down , he nudged his nose against yours , mind hazy. “I’d say that I did. That I’ve loved you as a boy— and now as a man.”

The words he had spoke seemed to resonate deep in your chest. It was true that the last time you had saw him , he was still the boy you had grew up with. But things were different now and the time apart had changed more than just you. He wore it in his actions , in the smile lines that had reminded you of all the laughs you had shared together in the hopeful years. His build was stronger , the way he carried himself was , too. But all in all— he was still Rafe.

“And you?” Rafe couldn’t help but ask. How much he wanted to lean down and kiss you. To worship you the way he should’ve— to fuck you like he loved you.

He just needed to hear you say it.

Your bottom lip trapped itself between your teeth. The thoughts of your friends scolding you , the disappointment from your mom and the idea that this would bring nothing but bad news to you plagued your mind. Though deep down you knew that Rafe Cameron was the love of your life. The kind’ve love that could only ever come once. You met him as a girl. Spending your girlhood lusting after him. He was the first boy you ever kissed , the first boy that broke your heart. Your breathing quickened and nothing else mattered. Not now. Not anymore.

“I’ve always loved you.” You answered , brushing his forehead like you had done so many times before except his shaggy , blonde hair was ghostly now.

“I’ll love you forever and even after that.”

[togrowoldinv]

Reconnecting

Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

It’s been ten years since you’ve seen Wanda. A lot has changed for her

Note: This is a soft one. Enjoy it!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

You were always certain that Wanda Maximoff is the love of your life. She was your best friend in college, and you always felt like there was something more.

But it takes two people to start a life together. And you never told her how you felt.

You watched her marry a man as you stood by her side as her maid of honor. She was happy with him. You knew that much was true.

But still you longed for the woman. Eventually, her husband caught air of it and he told you to stay away from Wanda. You didn’t have much choice but to do so.

Ten years have passed and you haven’t so much as seen the woman on the street, but when you go into a restaurant for lunch today she’s sitting there in a corner booth.

You know it’s her. It has to be her.

Approaching her table cautiously, you overhear her speaking to two boys you hadn’t seen before.

“Boys, you can get milkshakes today,” she tells them. “If you promise to be good for Uncle P later.”

A couple of responses come from the kids. Wanda glances up at the feeling of someone coming towards her.

Her eyes catch yours before she quickly looks away. Could it be you after all of these years, she wonders.

“Hi Wanda,” you speak first. She looks into your eyes again. It’s really you. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi- hi y/n,” Wanda says, her voice cracking from the shock of seeing you again.

“How are you?” You ask her. “It’s been so long.”

“Yeah, it has,” Wanda agrees. “I’m doing okay.”

You’re about to speak again when one of the boys asks who you are.

“Oh, I’m y/n. An old friend of Wanda’s,” you introduce yourself.

“I’m Tommy and this is my brother Billy,” the boy says. “Wanda is our mom.”

Of course she is. Wanda always dreamt of being a mother. And you always knew she’d be a damn good one.

“It’s very nice to meet you boys,” you reply. “I’ll leave you to it. Good to see you again, Wanda.”

You begin to walk away when Wanda calls after you.

“Y/n, do you still have the same number?” She asks. You nod. “I’d like to see you again soon. To catch up?”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you say. You flash her a smile.

After all of these years, you truly would love to reconnect with the woman. She texts you later that night and asks if you want to meet her for coffee. You agree easily.

The next morning you get dressed in an old college tee you’re pretty sure began as Wanda’s and some pants.

Wanda is early to the coffee shop. You walk to her table and she stands to greet you.

“You look nice,” you tell her. She’s wearing a black dress that frames her body well.

“Thank you,” she says, a tinge of pink on her cheeks. “I’ve got a meeting later.”

You order a drink and settle at the table with her. Neither of you know what to say first.

“So, how have you been Max? I mean other than you having the boys. How old are they?” You ask her.

“They’re 10,” Wanda says. “Twins.”

“Like you and Pietro. How sweet,” you remark. “I’m really happy for you. I know you always wanted to be a mom.”

“It’s the best,” she says. “Most days.”

“Not all?”

“Not anymore. I’m on my own,” Wanda says.

You notice there’s still a ring on her finger. But the look on Wanda’s face tells you something has happened.

“Oh Wands, I’m so sorry,” you say.

“It’s alright. It was sudden. One day he was okay and the next he was gone,” Wanda says, barely scratching the surface of the grief that tries to bury her. “About a year and half ago.”

“Can I- is it okay if I hug you now?” You ask her.

She nods and you cross the table to wrap her into a hug. Years of missing each other and grief of your own friendship makes the moment heavy.

Wanda cries into your neck as you rub her back soothingly. It feels like no time has passed but at the same time like you’re completely different people now.

“I missed you,” Wanda says through her tears.

“I missed you too,” you say.

She pulls away from your neck, but you keep your arms around her. You give her a small, reassuring smile.

“Would you want to come over for dinner sometime?” Wanda asks. “After yesterday, I told the boys about how much fun we had in college. They want to get to know you.”

“I’d love too,” you say. “As long as you’re cool with me telling them all about you back then.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Wanda says, a chuckle following her words. “Tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night,” you agree.

Soon, you say goodbye to the woman for the day. And you have to admit you miss her since you’ve left.

It’s late in the night when you send her a text. It’s not risky in content, but it’s risky in reaching out to her.

Your phone rings two minutes later.

“Wanda?” You answer it. “I wasn’t expecting you to call me.”

“I was up,” she says.

“Stressed?” You ask. She usually was when she couldn’t sleep.

“Very. What are you doing right now?”

“Laying in bed thinking about us,” you reply. “About you.”

Your hear Wanda take a deep breath on the other end of the line.

“Was there an us?” She asks. Taking another her breath, continues, “Is there an us?”

“Wanda,” you breathe out. “You must’ve known at least partially that I loved you.”

“I think I tried to ignore it,” Wanda admits. “I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want to possibly not be friends with you, but then you left anyways.”

“He asked me to leave,” you say. “I didn’t want to do it.”

“I was worried about that,” Wanda says. “That he asked you to. It felt so sudden.”

Wanda’s breath is shaky. She is finally letting herself feel everything.

“I never would’ve left you.”

“I know,” she says. “I was about to tell you I was pregnant when you disappeared.”

“Wanda,” you mumble. There’s silence on the line.

“Can you come over?” She asks you.

“Now?”

“Yes please.”

You throw on some clothes and drive to the address Wanda had texted you. Just about ten minutes down the road from your house.

When you get there, your hands shake with nerves. You really couldn’t tell how Wanda was feeling. But you weren’t going to say no to seeing her again.

Just as you’re about to knock on the door, Wanda opens it wide. She steps outside.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hi,” she greets you. “The boys are asleep so I thought we could talk out here.”

She gestures to the swing on the front porch. You sit down next to her.

“I was going to ask you to be their godmother, you know,” Wanda says.

“I would’ve loved that.”

Wanda nods. You take a good look at her in the front porch light. She’s older, but she still looks the same. Her green eyes grab your attention, but her warm smile keeps you drawn to her. Wanda has always been so kind.

She notices you examining her face, but you don’t feign any embarrassment. You just lean in closer to her.

“I can’t ever get over you. I’m here. And it’s torture being so close and not being able to kiss you,” you tell her.

“So kiss me then,” Wanda says. It’s music to your ears.

Over fifteen years of longing comes to fruition with the feeling of her lips on yours. Wanda sighs in content against your lips. Being with you feels so safe, so warm.

The kiss becomes heated and Wanda pulls at your shirt.

“Come inside?” She asks.

“I dreamt of the day you’d ask me that,” you say. Wanda answers with another kiss to your lips.

You stand up together and walk inside her house.

Maybe Wanda Maximoff is the love of your life after all.

[blackdragoness]

👀 Who got a reading on you and what was said?👀

PICK A CARD READING

You ever been able to feel when someone’s trying to penetrate your energetic space? I’ve been feeling it a lot lately and have had a strong feeling someone’s been getting readings on me. So I figured we investigate the perpetrator and see what was revealed. If you’ve had this same feeling before, pick a pile and I’ll reveal to you who and what the tarot reader told them.

Pile 1 😎🩸😄🥹

Pile 2 😰😕👍😫

Pile 3 ✍🏽😐🥱😮

—————————————

Pile 1: 😎🩸😄🥹

3 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands, 10 of pentacles

WHO?

This is someone you were cool with in the past but for some reason, you two have been in no contact with each other for a while.

This is someone you may have considered family at one point or maybe you guys are actually family. The energy feels familiar and safe.

Long distance or it’s been a long time since you’ve actually seen/spoken to this person however I feel a lot of love between the two of you.

WHY?

This person misses you so much. I don’t feel like there’s any bad blood here. It feels nice and wholesome. Similar to that of two childhood friends who got swept away by their own personal lives and lost touch with each other.

This person got a reading on you because even though lots of time has passed and you are both on your own paths in life, you haven’t left this persons mind. I’m hearing “an unforgettable presence”. IRREPLACEABLE.

This person got a reading on you because he/she wanted to know if you were actually fulfilling all the goals and plans you guys talked about as kids.

This person wants the best for you and you symbolize hope for this person. They’ve been watching you from afar and yearn for the closeness you guys once had in passing times.

This person got a reading on you as a “check in” to make sure you are okay.

WHAT was revealed?

The tarot reader revealed that you’ve been enjoying a lot of positive karma in your life.

The tarot reader revealed that you’ve been focused on your goals. though it’s been a rough journey in the pursuit of your dreams, you’ve been overcoming so many hardships and battles like a champ.

The tarot reader revealed that you still have lots of love for this person and know in due time, you guys will be reunited again.

The tarot reader revealed that you recently hit a milestone in your life and are being blessed beyond measures right now.

The tarot reader revealed that you are enjoying a lot of light hearted activities. That you might be surrounded by loved ones and family members that bring you lots of peace, joy and happiness.

Lots of positive energy and messages that were relayed to the person who got a reading on you. I’m sensing that all this information brought peace and light to this person knowing that you are still true to yourself. Awww, this person totally loves and admires you. Don’t be afraid to send them a message and reconnect with this old friend. They tear up thinking about the memories you two shared. I feel that the message they received was short and sweet and straight to the point and then they went about their merry way.

Channeled Song: Made For Me by Muni Long

—————————————

Pile 2: 😰😕👍😫

8 of Cups, 10 of Wands, 6 of swords

WHO?

This person feels like someone who caused you a lot of grief and uncertainty. This is someone you walked away from and who you had to set solid boundaries with.

This feels like a no contact relationship but I’m feeling that it was you who initiated this separation.

This person feels grimey and dirty - this could be both spiritually, mentally and physically. Just a nasty person overall.

This person’s energy feels like they are beneath you 🤣 I know that sounds harsh but they are very low vibrational right now compared to your energy.

WHY?

This person got a tarot reading on you because they’re a little bitter. This is what the scenario sounds like: When the player finally gets played and becomes obsessed with the one who got away.

It’s like they didn’t think you were ever going to walk away but when you finally did it shocked them so much. For some reason they thought they had you under some kind of spell?

They got a tarot reading on you because they don’t want to believe that you are actually happy without them 🙄

They were hoping to uncover some nasty truths about you through this reading

WHAT was revealed?

The tarot reader revealed the truth of your happiness to them. That you’ve finally been able to feel whole again ever since walking away from them. That you gained more from walking away in comparison to what you thought you lost when you walked away.

The tarot reader revealed that you have strong boundaries up with this person and that you see through all their deceptive tricks.

The tarot reader told them that you have moved on and have no intentions of ever reconnecting with them.

The tarot reader warned them to stay out of your life and energy field because your ancestors are protecting you from them.

The tarot reader kept it vague and turned their attention back to this person and offered them advice to begin their healing journey.

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹- I keep seeing this emoji in my head as I type this pile. The tarot reader told them that it took a while for you to heal your own heart from the damage they put you through but that somehow, you regained your heart and your strength back. The tarot reader also told this person a few things about themselves that awakened them to heal their own destructiveness.

Lots of things were said to this person that they were not ready to hear nor were they happy about hearing of your progress. “I want God to bless me the way he blesses you.” This person has so much growing up to do and is experiencing their karma. I’m seeing all of the grief they tried to inflict on you, is currently hitting them 10 fold. You are better off without this person. Keep going & stay the course youngin’.

Channeled Song: Feather by Sabrina Carpenter

—————————————

Pile 3: ✍🏽😐🥱😮

6 of cups, Two of Cups, 7 of cups

WHO?

This is someone who you know and are currently in contact with. I’m feeling like it’s a friendship for you, but the other person has developed a secret crush 🤣

The person who got a reading on you is your secret admirer 🤣 this is someone who is probably in your circle of friends and wishes to be something more with you.

This person knows you have many options and feels that you are out of their league and yet they can’t help but fall in love with you the more they interact with you.

Very nervous and anxious everytime you come around. They stutter on their words, talk really fast or become extremely shy in your presence.

That one friend who everyone describes as the life of the party but everytime you are in the room, this person is mute, bland and boring so you never seen this side that everyone talks about. They get this way around you only because of how nervous you make them feel

WHY?

They got a reading on you because they know they won’t be able to get over you and want to strategically plan on how to get you without you being aware of it 🤣

This person knows you have many offers and options, but still isn’t going to back down in the face of competition 🤣

This person wants to ask you out or send you a message confessing how they feel but keep overthinking it. So instead of just being brave and talking to you, they watch YouTube “How does she feel about me?” readings all day to hype up his confidence. Such a cheesy person, omg 🤣

This person doesn’t even care if you already got somebody in your life rn, they are waiting for their chance to pop back up and steal you away 🤣

WHAT was revealed?

Honestly, I don’t know how accurate this part is for you pile 3, so take it with a grain of salt. The thing is, this person has watched so many YouTube Tarot reading videos on you at this point with multiple different storylines that’s it’s confusing to know which one is actually YOUR energy 🤣 but the thing is, he’s going with the storyline that fits his own ego 🤣 so bear with me because this is what (S)HE THINKS you feel 🤣

I guess the storyline he went with is that you’re currently bored with the options you are entertaining currently. You’re not looking for anything serious at this moment and you’re only focused on your goals and manifesting them into reality.

If you have a boyfriend currently, he thinks you are bored and in a bland relationship and feels he can come and save you from it 🤣 he wants to show you what the time of your life really looks like and fantasizes about surprising you with an all paid for vacation. He has a lot of romantic fantasies for you and not all of them are sexual. Like this guy really loves you lol

You could very well be in the relationship of your dreams with the man you truly love but this guy thinks that there is no way you can be having fun because he thinks only he can show you the type of “fun” you’re looking for 🤣🤣 oh my goodness pile 3, this guy is bonkers for you 🤣 so bonkers he’s a little delusional lol

If you’re single, he thinks you’re bored being single and want a relationship and in his mind, no one is more perfect for you than him 🤣

As far as what the tarot reader has revealed about you, it just says you weren’t looking for anything serious with anybody and that includes him 🤣 but I feel like this person doesn’t want to believe that so he steady checking the YouTube readings until he hears what he wants to hear about you 🤣

Channeled Song: Crush by David Archuleta

[2amficposting]

“Split Ends” - Prologue | Shigaraki x Reader

Synopsis: You just got discharged from the hospital after what seemed like a decade or so in the ward. Life, which had been put on a pause for the better half of your life, was finally picking up. You could finally return to normalcy, go back to school, fall in love, reconnect with friends. Speaking of which…where was that one person you knew way back when? Tenko, was it? I wonder how he’s doing…

📝 gn!reader | childhood friend! reader

-

Visiting your old house had always been such a daunting thing. You were never one to revisit the past, especially not after the hell that you went through in the place that was supposedly your home.

As the car pulled over, you opened up the door to see the familiar, albeit somewhat run down home. You sigh, closing the door as you grabbed a few boxes.

There was things that you needed to grab anyway. Can’t let what you need from there be collecting dust, right?

You peered over the two houses next to yours, pondering where Tenko’s house was. Your eyes trail down to the empty space. Everything was clear then.

‘Rubble…guess they moved out and got rid of that place.’

-

Entering the house felt…unsettling somehow. To be put in the same place where it all went down. The halls that were once filled with so many conflicting vignettes, now still and quiet. The lights that no longer flickered, the dust that filled the air of the room. It all felt like a time capsule that had faded and rotted from the inside.

You push through the memories aside, picking up whatever you needed from the old place as you were now discharged from your ward.

The door creaked open from the entrance. It was your uncle, with extra boxes. He looked at you smiling, holding up the boxes.

“Need some help?”

You smiled back “yeah, there’s a lot to go around here…”

Your uncle could only chuckle, setting the boxes aside as he helped you up with placing whatever it is you two could salvage in the box.

He pulls up a dusty stuffed toy “oh goodness, remember this one?”

You jokingly stuck your tongue out at the sight “eww how long has that been sitting here? I haven’t seen that in decades”

Your uncle only laughed “ah yes…it has been awhile. It’s hard to believe now that you’ve grown up to be so different back then, eh?”

The bear was indeed old, unsalvageable even. A reminder of what was, and what will never be.

You sighed “a lot of things have changed…”

Tossing aside an old scarf, your eyes perked up at a photo album. It was, naturally, made of nothing but carton paper and glitter glue. It read “Tenko and Me”.

Your eyes widened “man…I haven’t heard his name in ages…” flipping through the DIY book, you found pictures of you and him attending the same kindergarten, playing house, everything. It was a time when you were happy, when things weren’t so…complicated.

You smiled, tracing your fingers softly at a photo of you and him playing hero. “I wonder how he’s doing now…if he remembers me at all”

Little did you know, the Tenko you knew had died a long time ago. Alongside everything else that he had going for him as a normal boy.

It took some time before you finished packing up, loading everything into the car as you and your uncle drove off to his home, where you would be staying as you recuperate from your time spent at the ward.

The door to your room opened, and of course it would be empty. A clean slate, a fresh start. It’s what you needed after all.

You set the boxes down, stretching as you prepare to head out again. It was getting late, but you were in a safe area, so nightly walks went unquestioned.

“I’m off! I’ll be back in an hour or so” you yelled

Your uncle gave a thumbs up as he cleaned the kitchen “Kay! Don’t stay out too long!”

-

Nightly walks were somewhat of a luxury that you had overlooked. Back in your room, you weren’t allowed to leave unless it’s at your allotted “outdoor time”. Since then, you had taken to enjoying the simpler things.

The night air was crisp, fresh. Your uncle had lived near the sea, so naturally the surroundings would be the right temperature of cold for you. Sitting down on the bench, the outstretch of the sea really put things into perspective about your new start.

You had been admitted into the ward ever since you were little. No thanks to your father, you were placed in there in the hopes of getting rid of the traces your mother had left behind. All of her faults, her grievances, her illnesses that she supposedly had passed onto your brain. It was half true, but you had no say in it.

Of course, life there wasn’t easy on the heart. It was lonely, depressing. Despite the rooms being well lit, and despite the sterile smells welcoming you to your new fate, you had longed for, dreamed for a chance to be let out for once. You had wondered if anybody had missed you, if he had missed you. The sounds of the waves crashing brings a tune to your otherwise silent thoughts, regrets that you wished you had done before you were sent away.

‘I wonder if he’s mad at me that I left without a warning. I hope he’s okay’ you thought.

A sigh escaped your lips as you settled down, looking up to the stars for an answer.

-

Someone was watching you. He was watching you.

Through binoculars, Tomura could see you sitting down on the beach walkway. He couldn’t believe it, you were here, and you were back.

His lips parsed slightly, viewing everything from atop an abandoned building. He wanted so badly to see you personally, to confirm that you are indeed real. But he knew that the consequences of revealing who he was too much. He had too much to lose.

He scratched his neck, feeling the itch come back. You were the only living string that tied back to his past, the only living thing that held a record of his past. You were his only friend, once. He supposed that it still is true somewhat. But would you even remain friends, had you known the person he grew up to be? The crimes he’s committed, the people he’s affiliated with…How could he be able to face you knowing that your only perception of him was when he was still young, innocent?

He needed time to think. Tomura sighed, setting the binoculars down as he looked at Kurogiri.

The look in his eyes was certain. He had a plan.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Until Forever -P.G

The long awaited second part of "SINCE FOREVER" is here now! HOPE YOU LIKE THIS, FEEDBACK IS APPREACIATED!

Read part 3 here!

Songs I listened to: Me, Myself and I - 5SOS, Lie To Me - 5SOS, Forever - Lewis Capaldi, Bruises - Lewis Capaldi, I Love You - Little Mix, Nobody Like You - Little Mix, Only You - Little Mix, What I Put You Through - Conor Maynard, Over Again - One Direction, De Marzo a Junio - Gonza Silva, All In - Here at Last, Airplanes - B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams, Impossible - Shontelle, Diamonds - Rihanna, Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood, Yellow - Coldplay, Too Good At Goodbyes - Sam Smith and Sin Señal - Quevedo.

Warnings: Angst, the long lenght this fic has is killing☠️... Part 3?

Summary: You are moving on from your mistake meanwhile Pablo is realizing his own.

January, 2023

It has been four months since that day. Four months which you haven’t seen Pablo. Four months of misery for you. And also for him.

When you left his apartment that day, a sickening feeling got into his stomach and it didn’t go away with anything he tried, his hands were shaking and his mind was running wild. He couldn’t concentrate on anything besides you, your confession, your sad expression and your leaving.

He knew that you asked him for time. But he couldn’t give that to you. He wanted you to know he still had you present in his life and hoping that you had him on yours too. And you sadly did.

You were absolutely a wreck for the first month. Not going outside unless it was for grocery shopping and Uni. Until the second month arrived.

Pedri, who had been your personal cheerleader, picked you up one day, got you a nice outfit and made you get in it, for you to go out with him in a friendly date where Ansu and Balde, joined you and ate everything they normally couldn’t or wouldn’t, because of their diet, but they decided than seeing you happy and like your old self was worth some calories more.

He even made you change Gavi’s contact name on your phone, to help your process get quicker and made you forget about his constant texting.

From that moment on, you started going out, you missed having a good time with the people you loved, with your friends and family, and not necessarily accompanied of Pedri, you went out with your girl friends, you Uni group, groups from other degrees at your Uni that you were close with. You were back.

Of course, you missed him. Terribly. Often at nights, you would scroll down on his messages and see what updates he has been giving you

Pablo Páez Ansu fell on his butt today, you would’ve laughed your ass off

Pablo Páez I made a happy salad *Photo* I hope you’re doing good, I’ve been better…

Pablo Páez Xavi keeps asking for you to tie my shoelaces, he keeps saying I don’t know how to do them

Pablo Páez Practice went well

Pablo Páez I just ate a kilo of bananas.  I won’t die, right?

Pablo Páez It’ll sound impressive but I just won Pedri on FIFA. Your gaming lessons paid off Now, I have to try and win you. He told me you were doing fine and I’m glad. I can’t wait for us to reconnect again

Pablo Páez De Jong said he missed having you around on practice I agreeded with him

Pablo Páez Pedri just ate his banana from the bottom to the top, you’re gonna kill him?

And many more of those but still, you choosed not to reply any of them, only really “talking” to him when the World Cup started, when he scored his first goal during it and when they lost against Morocco also you had texted him on Christmas and New Years.

Other times? You were ghosting him.

It was hell for him.

The first month of you doing that, for Pablo it was horrible. He couldn’t concentrate at practices; he messed up great plays, the passes weren’t precise, at games he was angrier and aggressive than usual, he wanted desperately for you to talk to him, Pedri tried to talk him out of it but the youngster snapped at his best male friend.  Only to come back to him a few minutes later apologizing.

Pablo thought that with time he could get over it, but no. Four months after and you were still on his mind and the anxious feeling was bigger and bigger on his chest.

He started to realize something, he felt awful, destroyed, sad and was mad at himself, he cried and cried to sleep that day for being too stupid and idiot to realize it

Yes, during WC, he had mastered a way of concentrating at practices and games but you were still on his mind. Always.

He was extremely angry, disappointed and sad to hear that you wouldn’t be there with him at his first WC, but still understood, already imagining the rest of his performances where you would be there cheering on for him and only him, the loudest as you have always have done.

In your defense, you did try your best but Uni got up to you and you weren’t done by the time it started, you couldn’t leave Spain even if you tried your best.

But, you haven’t properly seen each other since that day. And it was the first time you were going to. In Arabia Saudi for La Supercopa España, the Clásico. Barcelona vs. Madrid.

Pedri had invited you to come and you being a culer and the greatest friend, didn’t waste any time and asked permission from your parents to fly with the González.

“Is Samuel coming too?” Pedri asked with a cheeky smile

“¡Cállate!” He laughed seeing you blush

Samuel, is one of the guys that attends to your Uni but he’s doing a different degree than yours. During the last weeks of November and the first’s ones of December he had been asking you to hang out alone and you accepted. You definitely liked him.

He was cute, really cute and pretty. He had light green eye color, he was one head taller than you, blonde wavy haired and he had the most beautiful dimples at both sides of his smile; he was careful, paid attention to your needs, to whatever you were saying and remembered the smallest things you said randomly, he was funny and he never failed to amaze you.

But still, he wasn’t Pablo.

“Pedri, no lo sé” You had said

“This is your chance. It’s not like you might end up married to him anyway! Or you will… Who knows? Don't take it as a rebound kind-of thing. But maybe you can forget about Pablo, reconnect your friendship and at the same time have a lovely relationship with a guy who’s clearly into you”

And that’s how you started dating Samuel. And that’s also how you got into the present day.

“But you know he will” You spoke

“Gotta start making up the whole ‘Older-brother’ talk thing”

“Please, don’t scare him away. He’s really nice, I like him” You immediately said making Pedri laugh out loud while shaking his head a little. When a message pulled up in your screen.

Pablo Páez Are you coming to the Supercopa España? I know we aren’t in the best terms but I would love to see my favorite girl cheering for me on a live game… It’s been a while since you’ve done that.

“What’s up?”

“Pablo’s asking me if I’m going to the Supercopa” You said showing the message to Pedri who had been playing FIFA with you for about an hour ago

Pedri shrugged his shoulders “You wanna tell him?”

“I wanna surprise him” Silence filled the room

“You know even if he tries to hide it” Pedri started “, he’s not doing fine. He misses you a lot. A whole lot” You sighed

“I miss him too” You nodded sadly “I shouldn’t have said anything”

“No. You should have and you did. Feelings are the best when they’re being let out”

“But at what cost? I ruined my friendship with him and it’s not something you can easily go at it again. It’ll take me so much time to forget about those feelings I have for Pablo, Pedri. Maybe he feels guilty, awkward, I don't know... It’ll take a lot of time of being at that level we were once. You know it. I know it. Hell, even Pablo knows it. But it’s too hard being all in one day and suddenly stop being there”

“But you will do” Pedri said putting a hand on your thigh “I fully believe you will get, both of you, your feelings straight and keep on with that beautiful friendship you both have” Pedri nodded smiling lightly “I still think he’s in love with you but hasn’t realized”

“I still don’t think he is but who cares now?” You shrugged your shoulders  

“I’m just afraid he’ll realize it when it’s too late to try anything” Your eyes moved to Pedri’s as you both stared at each other in silence

“If” You start pausing to take a deep breath “If he does have feelings for me” You said slowly “I hope he realizes them quickly” Your phone dinged once more making you part your eyes from Pedri

A light smile made its way to your face seeing Samuel’s name pop up on your screen

Samu✨💖 Walking down the street, I saw a cute puppy. It reminded me of Aladdin, hope he’s feeling better. PS: I got him some treats for tomorrow when I see him. And don’t worry, I also got you a little present, couldn’t forget about you.

You sighed watching those two names on your home screen “Because I’m really liking Samuel and it’ll be hard for Pablo if I move on”

“Hard as in?”

“As in completely erasing myself from his life for a long and indeterminate amount of time, until I’m entirely happy and healed” Your eyes locked with Pedri’s as both of you sighed

“Do whatever you feel better doing, bonita” Pedri said slowly and in a low tone “Just know I’m gonna be here for you, always”

________

“Y/N!” Belén, Pablo’s mom said making you turn your head towards her with a smile on your face

“Belén!” You exclaimed happy to see the olderly woman approaching her to hug her tightly

“¡Que te has desaparecido, niña!” (It’s been a while, baby!) You laughed lightly

“I know” You whine “Y lo siento muchísimo. Es que he estado un poco ocupada con mis cosas en la Uni, Pablo ha estado ocupado en los entrenos y no hemos tenido mucho tiempo juntos desde hace un tiempito” (And I’m truly sorry. I’ve been so busy with College, Pablo has been busy with trainings and we haven’t spend time together in a while) You tried to come up with a little lie but you knew better

“I know that. Pablo told me what happened” You sighed a little “It must have been really hard for you, my dear”

“A lot” You whispered sadly “I just thought… For a second, he would feel the same”

“We thought so too. You acted like a couple. Pablo, Aurora and I actually thought you were already together” You smiled sadly at the thought of that “How’d you handled it?”

“Pretty bad in the first month but Pedri dragged me out of my house and I’ve slowly come back into what I was” She smiled grabbing your hand “And Pablito?”

She sighed “I think Pedri must have told you, hadn’t he?” You nodded lightly “He still isn’t taking it too well. Sometimes I catch him looking through your photos together” You sighed feeling bad for your best friend “He was way too moody during the World Cup”

“I can only imagine” You both laughed lightly “I was busy with Uni, it wasn’t a lie” You began “… But I also wasn’t ready to face him; I mean… I’m barely starting to get over him with a very few baby steps. Pedri invited me but I came here to surprise him actually, he doesn’t know I’m here, I told him I would try and do my best to come and I can sense he got angry at me. I have never missed one of his matches and to miss all these…”

“It took a toll on him” She ended as you nod lightly

“I do miss him a lot and besides everything I don’t want him to think we’re done. Because we aren’t. I just need myself time” You explained “And I wanna start making things right, he doesn’t love me” You said laughing without humor “And I’ve got to accept that even if I don’t like to. But that doesn’t mean I won’t stop being there for him. And I’m here to prove that to him. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend but I’m not quitting on our friendship”

Belén said nothing but hug you tightly “Pablo does love you, dear”

“Not in the way I would love him to”

“There’s no one better for him than you” You shook your head disagreeing with her

“I’m not his person, Belén” And with that you broke the hug

“He hasn’t realized”

You were tired of hearing that.

“And I don’t think he will because I’m just not it for him. I cannot force him. He may be sad at the fact I was in love with him, that he broke me unconsciously and that he might lose me as his best friend but he doesn’t see me like that”

“Y/N” She began when you felt an arm wrap around your waist, you turn around to face Samuel with two water bottles

“Me he perdido de regreso. Todo se ve azul, rojo y blanco” (I got lost on my way back. Everything is blue, red and white colors) You laugh lightly accepting the water

“Thank you so much, Samu” You kissed his cheek, right on where his dimples show making him, pull you closer to him.

“Disculpa, ¿Interrumpí algo?” (I’m sorry, I interrupted something?) He asked feeling a bit guilty

You turned to Belén who was looking at you with a light smile.

“Not at all, hijo” She said

“Samu, she’s Belén, my best friend’s mom” You introduced her taking a deep breath “Belén, he’s Samuel Carnevale, my boyfriend” You watched at how her face fell a bit but quickly covered it up

“Nice to meet you, miss”

“Igualmente cariño” (Likewise, dear) She said slowly nodding

“Y/I, want me to save you the seat?” You nod eagerly to hear Belén’s thoughts

“He looks like a nice lad” She said when he left you again, you nod

“He is” You mumble

“I’m happy you’re moving on” She said, you felt relieved to hear those words “Still a bit sad I’m not going to be your mom-in-law” She laughed lightly as you smiled without showing your teeth

“She can still marry me” You heard Aurora say from behind her mom’s back

“When’s the wedding?” You replied watching them laugh. Aurora stepped over to hug you as you hugged her back tightly

“My brother is stupid”

“Don’t say that” You defended him “It’s not his fault” You shrugged your shoulders letting go of her

“He seems like a nice guy” She looked over at Samuel who was laughing with Fernando, Pedri’s older brother

“He is” You nodded with a smile

“I hope everything works out for you, Y/I” Aurora said “And hopefully we’ll see you more around in the house. Pablo isn’t the only one who misses you”

“I’ll try, cariño” You said gripping her arm a bit “It was lovely seeing you again, we must hang out later” You say ready to go. Both of them nodded hugging you once more

And with that you walked back towards Sam and Fer, feeling all kind of emotions thanks to their words and making up something in your mind for when you see Pablo.

You couldn’t keep on with your thoughts because the game had started, the tension was feeling in the air, it was the final of La Supercopa, both teams wanted to win it and only one could be the one who raised it and proclaiming the champion title.  And you wanted so badly to be Barcelona that one

Robert had the ball on his feet, he was dribbling among the players and into the penalty section of the Madrid, when he passed the ball to Gavi who hit it and the ball went inside the net. A roar of cheers, applauses and screams were heard across the stadium, the Barcelona fans cheering in happiness as they took the lead on the board.

 Gavi grabbed his shirt and kissed it, his signature celebration, his teammates went over to him and cheered with him, Pedri high fived him and hugged him and he must have told him something because after their hug Gavi’s eyes dance across the stadium until they landed on you.

His smile grew bigger and blew you a kiss while pointing at you, he also went ahead and did your initial. You smiled clapping and cheering louder for him.

At minute 45, Robert scored once more with an assist of Gavi and in the second time at minute 69, Pedri scored with the board on 3 for them and 0 for Madrid. The final result was 1-3, meaning Barcelona had won.

The player’s family went down, you shyly made your way towards the pitch as well but feeling extremely proud for your boys.

The first one you saw was Ansu and you threw yourself at him, laughing and cheering on the win for a few seconds before you saw Balde, Araujo and Lewy, you congratulated them as well.

When you saw Pedri, he opened his arms and you ran towards him

“¡YO SABÍA QUE GANARÍAN!” (I knew you guys would win) You yelled in excitement as Pedri hugged you tightly “You did it and I’m so proud of you” You kissed his sweaty cheek several times as he rocked you both side to side “That goal was amazing, Pepi”

“Gracias, bonita. It felt amazing to score” You smiled widely

You hadn’t seen Pablo and you were having an intern battle of seeing him, congratulating him and at the same time not do it.

“You look really happy” Samuel said grabbing your hand in his as your eyes roamed around for Gavi

“I am happy. Not only my club won but also my best friends did. It feels like a dream come true” You said looking at him with a smile on when you turned your head you saw him, he was hugging his sister

“Go and say hello to him” Samuel said kissing your cheek “I’ll be next to you”

Letting go of Samuel’s hand, you walked until being two meters away from him, Belén saw you and pointed at Gavi to turn around, when he did, he was confused until his eyes were on you.

His expression fell a bit before he let a smile out, he turned around to walk but when you started walking too, he started jogging and soon running until, you doing the same and eventually you crashed into each other.

You couldn’t lie. It felt good being back in his arms. His strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his face into the crock of your neck, yours around his shoulder and giving light touches in his hair

“I’m sorry” He said whispering in your ear “I’m truly sorry” You shushed him

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You shook your head “I’m here now”

“I missed you so much” He whispered once more pulling you even closer to him, at this point you were a bit arched, with him leaning onto you; with your waist touching his, torso touching his, chest touching his and heads into the others neck.

“Don’t leave me ever again” Pablo said

“I’m not” You said pulling away a little but he didn’t moved an inch “Pabs”

“No” He shook his head “I’m truly sorry, I should-” You cut him off

“Pablo, it’s okay, I’m here now” Your hand went to the sides of his head “Look at me please” You whispered and he after a few seconds obliged, pulling his forehead into yours “I’m not leaving you”

“It felt like hell not seeing you in the stands, it felt horrible not seeing you at our trainings but it felt even worse you not talking to me at all”

“Sorry” That’s all you managed to say, you caressed his dirty stained cheeks leaning up to kiss his cheek and come back pull your forehead into his. You were looking into each other’s eyes, when you felt Pablo slowly lean in

And that’s when you felt a presence and pulled away from him

Pablo looked confused, his arms still around you while yours fell from his body.

“Hey” Samuel said smiling lightly "Tremendo juego hiciste el día de hoy. ¡Felicidades!" (Such a good game you did today. Congratulations!)

“Hola” Pablo said “Amigo, disculpa, en estos momentos estoy con mi familia disfrutando, puedo darte un autógrafo más tarde, y… ¿Podrías traerme una botella de agua?” (Mate, sorry, I’m enjoying with my family right now, I can sign something for you later, also… Would you bring me a bottle of water?)

“Él no trabaja aquí, Gavi” (He doesn’t work here, Pablo) You said untangling yourself from him

“¿Ah no? Disculpa” Pablo said smiling tightly, hand reaching up to grab yours but you crossed your arms in front of your chest “And who are you?” Pablo asked mirroring your actions but giving you a look

“Samuel, this is my best friend, Pablo Páez or better known as Pablo Gavi” You announced unlinking one of your arms to pull Samuel next to you. It was Samuel’s turn “And Pablito… This is Samuel Carnevale… My boyfriend”

At the moment you said that, you could see Pablo’s face scrunching up, he was confused and his jaw clenched, just like how it did when he was angry

“What?” Pablo asked in disbelief after a few seconds

You sighed “This is my boyfriend, Samuel Carnevale” You announced once more

“Boyfriend?” You nod repeated times

Gavi's eyes danced in between Samuel and your face, he looked for any sign of you joking with him. But found none.

This couldn't have happened to him. You had a boyfriend? Why? Why now he realized his feelings for you? Was this a kind of sick prank? If it was he wasn't liking it and wanted it to stop now.

The emotion he felt for winning the Supercopa went away when he saw you holding hands with him.

"Really?" He asked impressed trying to put on a happy face but it looked somehow as if he was in pain

And he was. Sentimentally he was.

He felt like he could cry a river to cover the whole European continent, he felt sick, his stomach felt funny, his head felt spinning and it wasn't definitely for the excitement of winning

He felt lost

"That's-" He cut himself off, he couldn't say it was good because it wasn't good but he also couldn't say it was bad because it would hurt you even more.

You'd think he was selfish. And he truly wanted to be, but not after what happened between the two of you.

Thankfully a voice pulled him out of the situation, the three of you turning your heads to see Pedri coming over

"Buenas noches!" He said grinning from ear to ear "Sorry to interrupt anything"

Please, don't be. Pablo thought

"But we need to go so they can give us the medals and lift the trophy" Gavi nodded relieved

He had never wanted to escape from a moment with you more than he does now

However, he watched you smile and nod at him "Go ahead, Martín" You kick his leg a little "Congratulations on winning, by the way. I'm so proud of you" Pablo smiled nodding at you

You stepped forward and hugged him once more you couldn't help yourself but wanted to embrace him

"I don't plan on ruining tonight for you, but I think you know we need to talk" You whispered against his ear as he nodded tightening his hold on you, now it was his turn, he kissed your cheek repeated times making you giggle

"Stop that" You asked laughing "Go" You untangled yourself from him forcing him to leave his hold on you.

"Meet me in a hour and a half in the tunel, okay?" You nod smiling, one of Pablo's hands went up to the side of your face and pulled a stray of hair away from your face, making you freeze in the beggining but retracted a bit

Pablo's hand fell at his side as he was confused and shocked, he felt a sting hit in his chest and his breathing got a bit uneven, he took deep breaths and let out the air he was holding in. He nodded not knowing what to do, he had never felt this way around you not even when you confessed your feelings for him, so, he just walked side by side with Pedri to grab their medals

"You okay?" Pedri asked next to him as Pablo lightly shook his head

"...No" He looked over to where you were standing, in the middle of the Páez and González family.

He felt the same sting in his chest when you retracted from his touch but the sting made itself pronounced when he saw Samuel pull you into his embrace and you making yourself comfortable in the boys's arms while cheering for them.

Those should've been his arms, not some random man ones, but he had been too stubborn to realize it. And meanwhile you were happy and moving on, it was his time to watch from the sidelines and get hurt

________

You were waiting for him to come out of the dressing room but it seemed like it wasn't happening any time soon. Everyone had left only the staff being present and a few of the players's family.

So you decided to walk around for a bit, you came up the tunnel finding the place where the players go out to the pitch. You walked it finding the empty stadium, it looked pretty when no one was around and you enjoyed it more this way but it looked even better with people in the stands supporting their clubes and wearing a certain color.

"I remember you being noisy" You turn around at hearing his voice "I just didn't knew how much" You smiled lightly watching Pablo walk a few steps more to join you "This is beautiful" You nod agreeing

"Yes, it is" You smiled lightly "Mostly when it's quiet"

Silence took over the two of you for a while, none of you knowing how to start

"You are looking pretty" He said randomly as you smiled lightly

"Thanks, you looking nice too"

"It felt nice seeing you up there once more" you hum pursing your lips a bit

"It felt nice being back there once more" You smiled taking a deep breath

"So... You have a boyfriend?" He asked the first thing that had came into his mind, you nod once more

"I do" You smile at the though of your blondie, he had gone to the hotel with Pedri's family much to his disagreement, he didn't wanted to leave you alone but he understood you had something serious to talk with Pablo

"Since when?"

"Since December"

Pablo nodded, looking down at his feet

"I missed you" He said

"I missed you too"

"Didn't seem like you did"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You weren't answering my texts, nor my calls and whenever I tried to go into your apartment, the security guards didn't let me in!"

"Well I told you I needed time and you accepted it"

"You ghosted me!"

"And I'm terribly sorry! I was heartbroken and I didn't precisely wanted to the see the guy who provoked it uncounsiously!"

"Were you really? Because all I could see was you from a party to another and to another! It definitely didn't look like you were heartbroken!"

"But I was and still am, Pablo!" When he heard you exclaim his first name once more, he knew he had fucked it up again. You already had called him with a nickname or one of his others names

"What did you want me to do?" You ask in between laughter "Stay at home crying? Feeling miserable because I made the biggest mistake ever? And of all of the persons in Barcelona I went ahead and fell in love with you? But still I went and did nothing to change it? And when I try you absolutely do nothing but say 'you were just from a party to another, you didn't missed me' Of fucking course I missed you!" You were laughing but in reality you were close to the verge of crying

"Hell you've been a constant person in my life for twelve years, Pablo!" You looked at him "No one has ever me stuck with me that much, besides my family of course, but you! To have you next to me 25/8 like we used to be and then out of nowhere not having you at all, also affected me! A lot! I know I provoked that and I'm sorry! I don't control the way I feel it just happened!"

"And I just wanted to let it out! Of course I was secretly hoping you'd say I'm in love with you too, but it wasn't the case and I've been dealing with it and finally made peace with that and I'm here tonight to tell you that I want my best friend back! That I'm moving on from it and that we may not end up together but I don't care about that anymore I just want you to know that I'm not giving up on our friendship, Gavi. Never. I'm back if you want me to be"

Pablo grabbed one of your arms and pulled you into him, you hugged his torso inmediately as he hugged you tighter

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Pablo repeatedly leaving kisses in every place reachable for him, your neck, your cheek, eyelid, eyebrows, your ear, your temple, hairline, forehead, all of that without letting you go "I just missed you so much, I was having it bad and seeing you living your life as if you've never missed me broke me completely" He whispered sniffing "Of course I want you back, I love you so much, mi niña" He kissed you repeatedly as you hide your face in the crock of his neck

You didn't know but he just proclaimed his love for you, more than a friendly way, but decided against saying it out loud.

As much as it hurt him, he was the cause of the pain you've gone through these past months and now you were back into his arms and life, he wasn't going to fuck it up.

Two Weeks Later

"C'mon!" Pablo whined in the couch "I SWEAR TO GOD I WON PEDRI IN FIFA LAST TIME!"

"Maybe I was having compassion with you, Pablito" All of the presents in the room laughed as Pablo threw the control in anger to the couch

He went to the kitchen in hopes of finding a snack that could help his sour mood right now when he heard your laugh.

You were at Pedri's for a get-together. Now that you and Pablo mended things up you were spending more and more time together, the guys loving it since they had no more grumpy Pablo and a heartbroken you. And they were happy since they added one more person to your guys group. Samuel.

The guys loved him, of course the poor lad had to pass a test made by Pedri and the guys that joined him, but once that finished the guys cheered for you both and approved Samuel.

So, that meant he was also there with you in your get-togethers

It wasn't easy for Pablo now that he had discovered his true feelings for you, he always made sure to try and not look at the two of you when you were being affectionate. But it was hard, the damn fucker made you happy, your smile when you were around Samuel was three times bigger than usual and even tho Pablo loved to see that kind of smile on your pretty face, he wanted to be the one and produce it.

He couldn't help but walk over where the two of you were sitting a bit parted from the group since you had a bit of headache but didn't wanted to ruin the guys fun

You were reclined on the couch as Samuel was lying in between your legs with his face pressed into your chest, your hands were around his neck as his were around your torso, he was apparently telling you something funny to make you laugh like that.

The mood Pablo had from his mates teasing got worse when he saw you kissing Samuel. He knew he wasn't in place to reclaim something but he wanted to go there and push the guy out of your body.

Samuel's phone dinged as he sighed, if Pablo listened right he said something among the lines of "I have to go home, my little brother fell and sprained his ankle"

Pablo thanked his little brother but forgot you had to answer

"Oh god is Marcelo okay? Fucking hell, that doesn't look good. Let's go" At hearing that Pablo sighed. You were too caring, too lovely... Too perfect for this world to be true.

"Don't worry, princesa" He saw how Samuel wanted to get up but you tightened your holds on your hands and crossed your legs behind his back "Y/N" Samuel laughed

"What?" You asked smiling innocently

"This is a get-together with your friends, I don't want you to miss the fun to be in an hospital for god-knows-how-long with my screaming and annoying little brother-OW!"

"Marcelo is lovely, too bad he's only seven years old, I would've gone for him"

"You're so on" And then he heard your hysterical laughter once more and pleads for him to stop tickling you.

Pablo turned around and saw his sister standing there with crossed arms "Maldición, joder, Aurora" Pablo cursed out "You almost made me shit my pants"

"What are you doing watching Y/N and her boyfriend?"

"I wasn't watching them"

"I've been standing here like five minutes ago"

Pablo sighed "Okay... Maybe I was watching them"

"Why?" Pablo looked at his sister without saying anything as she soon gasped "No way!" She exclaimed a little too loudly

"Shhhh! Nobody knows it!" Gavi silenced her

"You're in love with Y/N?"

"Shhh!" Gavi shushed her pulling his hand up to his sister's mouth "No one knows it, so could you please be quiet about it?" Aurora nodded

"We neeed to talk" Pablo groaned grabbing his sister hand and bringing her over to Pedri's room "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She said inmediately after Pablo closed the door "She told you her feelings for you and you pushed her away!"

"Back then I didn't realized it! I started knowing right during World Cup, she didn't talked to me back then! It would have been a waste telling her and over text!"

"She called you!"

"I was confused!" Pablo exclaimed "If I had realized even before World Cup I wouldn't even have left Spain, fighting for her, but I realized in the middle of it, then when we were eliminated she sent me three texts and ghosted me once more! I fucked it up not reciprocating her feelings and to try and tell her over text: Hey, I realized I'm in love with you. Sorry for the pain I caused you back then. That would've been the worst thing ever! I've seen enough movies, TV shows and I have been with you and her for so long to know exactly what to do and what not to do!"

"When I saw her at the Supercopa I proposed myself to tell her, I wanted to kiss her when I saw her, when I held her I wanted to tell her everything and let her do whatever she wanted to and with me but then she appeared with that guy and with a light smile on, she told me 'He's my boyfriend' I wanted to die at that moment" Pablo shook his head running his fingers through his hair "I have put her through enough pain to just let that wound come back again! She seems happy with him and meanwhile he makes her happy, make her feel loved then I should be as well"

"You're going to love her from far away?" Pablo nodded with his hands on his face, he wanted to cry

"I think I lost my chance, rora"

"You haven't" Aurora said "She still loves you"

"But she's with him" Gavi looked at his sister, tears scaped from his eyes "I won't ruin that for her, I won't be the reason she's sad again" He shook his head "I will be there for her for everything and anything she needs me for, but I'm not ruining her relationship. I'll just wait for her, I'll wait"

Aurora was surprised by the determination on her younger brother, not suttering at all with his words, still, she felt proud, he knew he fucked up but also, he knew how to mend it and wait.

"Have patience, Pabs" She told him hugging her brother tightly "A lot of patience, you'll need it" Pablo nodded reciprocating the hug

"I will" He laughed

He was known for not having an ounce of patience, but he would gain the world's whole patience only for you. And he will do.

After having a moment, Gavi washed his face with water and headed down, to find no Samuel but you still laid on the sofa, he contemplated the fact of going towards the guys who probably will keep making fun of his bad FIFA skills or be with you.

Guess what he decided?

"Buenas" He said with a light smile catching your attention

"Hey, señorito" You smiled putting down your phone "Everything good?" Gavi nodded "What's up?"

"The guys keep making fun of me for being bad at FIFA" You scrunched your face a little

"I don't buy the 'I beat Pedri' thing either"

"BUT I DID!" He exclaimed making you laugh

"C'mere, Gavs" You fixed your position and patted the space on the couch, he just couldn't resist you so he ended up sitting next to you "The only one who can bully you it's me, so let's just sit here for a while and watch funny Tik Tok videos and cute puppy reels" He smiled sitting next to you

"Only because you said cute puppy reels" You smirked leaning over a bit for the two of you to see properly your phone screen

After an hour and half of watching funny videos on your phone, laughing, making comments and sometimes getting sad when something emotional happened, somehow you guys ended up cuddled up into each other.

You leaned into Gavi's chest, sat in between his legs as his back rested in the arm rest, his legs streched out as yours were pulled up at your chest, his arms wrapped around your frame.

Gavi stopped for a second, hearing you laugh, he smiled looking down at you, he indeed was stupid enough for not realizing his feelings soooner.

If he had done that, you could probably be like this but with another status, he sighed lightly accepting for now the fact you were with someone else but as you leaned more into him uncounsciously, giving him a smell of the delicious TRESemmé oil elixir you put to protect your hair and that he often found himself stealing a bit from, he realized he would fight for you, always. To have you by his side and make you happy.

Gavi kissed your hair and temple a couple of times before tightening his hold on you

"Something's wrong?" You ask lightly as he shakes his head

"...Don't think so"

One thing people also known Gavi for was that he was determinated, he never stopped until he had what he wanted.

And he wanted you.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Tag list: @gaviypedrisbride @ariagonzalezsstuff @gaviswh0re

[whats-her-quirk]

This has been sitting in my docs forever waiting to be turned into a full fic but I’ve been thinking about it for days so have it

Nanami x reader

Fluff, childhood friends to eventual lovers, reconnecting

divider by @cafekitsune

You almost don’t recognize him at first. It creeps in like an eerie sense of deja vu, the feeling like you’ve seen this man in the beige suit before. You have a few moments, while he orders his coffee at the counter, to watch him and try to remember. Do you know him through work? No, you don’t think so. Maybe he’s someone from the gym? Is he your mailman?

It hits you when you picture him without the round glasses he’s wearing. It’s Nanami, after all these years.

You knew Nanami when you were in high school—a friend of a friend. He’d be there, once in a while, when you met Satoru and Shoko to loiter at the park after school or hang around outside the convenience store or arcade. You weren’t delinquents, but you were loud, rebellious, annoying teens. At the time, you thought you were really cool. Now you look back on some of the things you did and cringe, but at least you weren’t hurting anybody.

Nanami was shy, quiet, and a bit gloomy, but somehow, Satoru had taken a liking to him. You were a year behind your friends in school, while Nanami was your age. Though your friendship was never much more than casual, you definitely thought he was cute, with his all black outfits and blonde bangs that hung over half his face. You never breathed a word of it, not to anyone, knowing that Satoru would embarrass you if he found out. You and Nanami remained nothing more but satellites of each other.

That was more than a decade ago. When Satoru and Shoko graduated, you and Nanami stopped seeing each other beyond passing in the hallways. The last you heard, he went to a college on the opposite coast. You haven’t thought about him much since you were 18, but now that he’s standing in front of you, well-worn memories and a hint of that silly crush of yours come flooding back.

Your stomach twists uneasily, nervous that maybe you’re wrong—maybe that’s not even Nanami. When he moves aside to wait for his order, you take another peek.

Nope. That’s definitely him. You’ve never seen cheekbones like that on another human being. You can still see the Nanami you knew in his features, in the cut of his jaw, even in the way he stands. He’s just older, more mature and filled out—just like you are.

You debate saying nothing, just getting your coffee and ducking out of there before he sees you, but it’d be pointless. If Nanami’s in town, you’ll probably hear it from Satoru sooner or later. Worst case scenario, you’ll look like a jerk if he catches you trying to avoid him. Despite how nervous you feel, not really knowing what to say to someone you only knew for a short time so long ago, it’s the polite thing to do.

After placing your own order, you approach him—taller than you remember—at the pickup counter.

“Nanamin?”

His eyebrows crease before he coughs into his sleeve, surprised. “No one’s called me that in years,” he wheezes as he pulls himself together. Then he says your name. “Is that you?”

Your cheeks heat. “Yeah, I—”

His name is called from behind the counter. Awkwardly, you step aside while he retrieves a tall paper cup and a sandwich on a plate. Nanami glances around, and even though all of the tables seem to be occupied, he asks, “Would you like to join me?”

“Oh.” It’s a kind offer, one you’d like to accept, but, “I actually have to run back to work. I’m sorry.”

“That’s completely all right,” he replies quickly. “No worries.” Nanami rocks on his feet a little, biting his lip almost anxiously.

“Another time maybe?” Your words, too, catch in your throat, stricken by how attractive he still is. Long gone are his baggy black clothes and swooshy hair, but you have to admit, this polished look suits him. It’s so different from what you would have expected, but you’re curious to find out how he got here.

You clear your throat. “If you’re going to be in town for a while, I mean.”

“Yes, I am. Um.” He tries to juggle his coffee into the same hand as his plate, but the two just won’t fit. “My phone is in my pocket.”

“Do you want me to—” You lift a hand, not quite sure what you’re offering—to reach into his pocket for him?

The barista calls your name and sets your drink on the pickup counter. You grab it before pulling out your own phone with a better idea. “What’s your number?”

Nanami sighs. “I just had to get a new one, and I don’t have it memorized. Are you still in touch with Gojo? He can give you my number.”

“Yeah, that’ll work.” You shove your phone back into your pocket, aware that you’re crowding the pickup counter and the line is piling up behind you. You should really get going anyway. You need to catch the bus before your lunch break is over.

“I’ll send you a message soon. It was nice to see you, Nanamin.”

He rolls his eyes a little at the nickname, but there’s a sweetness to it that makes you smile. “You as well. Talk to you soon.”

The soft smile he leaves you with lingers in your mind, giving you butterflies through the afternoon that have nothing to do with your caffeine intake.

–

It takes you a few days to reach out to Satoru. You keep opening your texts, trying to figure out how to ask him, casually, for Nanami’s phone number. Satoru’s penchant for teasing scares you away each time. You know it’s silly to worry so much—you’re a grown adult—but something about Satoru makes you revert back to your teenage self.

Knowing that Nanami is expecting you to get in touch, you finally decide you’ve put it off long enough. Already tucked into bed for the night, you roll onto your side and tap out a message to Satoru, closing your eyes as you hit send.

You’ll never guess who I ran into the other day. I’ve been meaning to tell you about it.

In under a minute, your phone is ringing.

“Really?” You’re far past hello with Satoru.

“It was Nanami, right?”

You flop over onto your other side, glad that Satoru can’t see you blushing. “So you know he’s back in town?”

“Hold on. First, tell me I was right.”

“What?”

“You said I’d never guess.”

“Fine, you were right.” You can practically hear his shit-eating grin over the phone. “Anyway, I ran into him the other day, but we were in kind of a rush. He said you have his phone number.”

“Depends. Who’s asking?”

“He told me I could ask you.”

“I know,” Satoru snorts. “He told me he saw you at the cafe. I was just waiting to see how long it would take you to bring it up.”

Just as you scoff, annoyed but not surprised, you hear shuffling on the other end. Satoru whines before the phone is wrenched from his hand by his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry he’s being such an ass. If I had known what he was up to—”

“It was a joke! A harmless one!”

“Shush.” Suguru scolds him before giving the phone back, and you can clearly picture the pout on his face.

“I was just playing around. Besides, I gave him your number, but it sounds like he hasn’t called you either. What a baby.”

You flip over onto your back, pulling the sheets up tightly to your chest, unsure if you’re more flattered or disheartened that he’s waiting for you to make the next move. Maybe he’s just trying to be a gentleman, to not come on too strong, but…

“Whatever,” sighs Satoru. “It’s about time the two of you got together.”

You toss your covers aside, scoffing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you two should date. Finally.”

Your mouth flaps, surprise stealing your words before you can form them. “He—what? We haven’t been in touch in years.”

Satoru chuckles. “Yeah, but you liked him. Back then. And he liked you too, dummy.”

“That’s… crazy.” You don’t want to admit it, but you really hope Satoru is right. Nanami has been on your mind since you bumped into him, and it’s been ages since just thinking about someone got you so flustered. He’s incredibly handsome, and you know he’s not a creep or an asshole. Better to return to the dating scene with someone you know than a stranger off an app.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea at all.

[voidandabyssal]

Hey! It's been a while since I requested anything and I'm bored...

I miss your Horrorfell bros so can we have some general headcanons for them? Do they have any interests? Favourite things to do or food to eat? Would they get flustered easily if I complimented them (provided they aren't hungry)? Can you tell that I'm a sucker for these two AU's and love this combination??

Omg yayyyyy! I haven’t been requested in so long! Thank you❤️ I’m such a sucker for horrorfell! I wish more people liked it! I’m planning to rewrite my fan fiction of those two (finally😫) so hopefully you’ll get some more of my fav boys soon!

Pyre: (hf papyrus)

Hound: (hf sans)

Pyre and Hounds relationship doesn’t recover for a WHILE after surfacing. Bad enough that they go a good couple years without talking to each other. They reconnect after some long talks and deep self reflections in therapy and realise they miss each other.

Once they do reconnect they both put in the effort. Maybe they’ll never be as close as they once were, hell they probably won’t ever live together again. But they’re still brothers, and they still care about each other

Hound uses his government received reparations to buy a small run down cottage on the side of Ebott Mountain, it has a huge garden with lots of privacy from his neighbours. Hound isn’t actually sure if he has neighbours?? He sure as hell isn’t looking to meet them.

Pyre once on the surface eventually comes to be known as the crazy cat lady of his neighbourhood. He owns at least a dozen cats, (not including the feral strays he feeds in his garden). Each one is equally loved and doted on. They all sleep on his bed in the winter. They all have unique names, collars and food bowls. Not a single one goes a day without getting some kind of treat from Pyre

Hound despite his very extroverted past self, never fully recovers his interest in other people. He spends most of his days gardening and farming his own food. He’s got a small flock of chickens that he pretends to hate. Like one of those dads that grumpily insists he doesn’t like the new pet, but is then seen snuggling with the damn thing a day later.

Pyre regains his love for sweets. He kept it a secret before the famine, ashamed it would make him seen weak. He’s too old and hungry for that now tho. Give him his sweets or give him death🤺

The local bakery both fears and respects that man for the amount of chocolate sweets he purchases😮‍💨

Hound meanwhile is a blackhole for food, he literally has no favourites and would eat literally garbage if it was placed in front of him. Bro is just excited to eat

Both boys would get pretty flustered if you complimented them! Pyre would brush it off waving you away before you could see the blood red blush dusting his cheekbones. “YES OF COURSE YOU APPRECIATE THE TERRIBLE PYRES DINNER! YOU DID NOT NEED TO VERBALISE IT HUMAN!!!” As he hides away in the kitchen.

Hound would chuckle quietly and tug down his beanie so you couldn’t see the way his eye light blew up in size as he looked down at you, maybe he would reach down and ruffle your hair. “….thanks…..cutie” he would manage to speak aloud.

Hound doesn’t work, his metal jaw and cracked skull make it difficult for him to communicate, occasionally he’ll plonk down a stall (a totally legal one at that. No sir not at all like his illegal hot dog stand) and sell some of his veggies and chicken eggs other than that he’s pretty much chilling in his home.

Pyre on the other hand dives into work as soon as he can. He’s very lonely for a long time once on the surface. All his old friends are dead, or he wishes they were, him and Hound aren’t on speaking terms yet. So he busied himself to stop the aching feeling of loneliness settling into his soul.

He jumps around from place to place, it’s hard to find work when you’re a terrifying skeleton and you’re also disabled. Eventually he settles on working as a counsellor. He’s tough on his clients, unforgiving even. But Pyre loves what he does and he genuinely gives it his all in helping his patients.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this much, but Pyres got a pretty fucked up spine. It makes it difficult for him to go long without sitting, and he receives multiple surgeries to hopefully help fix it. All that does is extend the time he can stay standing. Pyre can’t do much exercise or walking before the pain gets too much. Once on the surface he gets a wheelchair and is pleasantly surprised that he doesn’t have to spend most of the day in terrible pain.

Pyres a tough nut to crack socially, his walls are forever up and he needs time to start to trust someone. Just keep taking your chances, sit with him at work, offer him some home baked cookies, knock on his door and ask for help (Pyre loves to feel useful). Eventually he’ll break, and you’ll have a gigantic protective skeleton at your beck and call!

Be ready to spend a lot of time after those walls are down though, Pyre loves to be social and he absolutely will drag you to places he wants to visit if need be.

Hounds a little easier to befriend, just don’t speak for him, (even if it takes a while for Hound to get the words out he hates being spoken over even more) and he’ll think you’re alright. If you wanna get closer you gotta dish out some puns, or some good ol’ slapstick humour often

I wouldn’t bother trying to befriend them in the Underground if I were you though. This time in their lives is marked by hunger, sadism and wrath. You likely won’t get far before a knife is shoved in your stomach or your chopped in half. If you meet them Underground you gotta have something to be worth keeping alive.

Pyre as much as he hates to admit it, spends a lot of time in therapy. When Pyre initially got triggered by something he reacted violently, brutally so. He would lash out at everyone and everything in the vicinity until he felt safe again. This was part of the reason Hound and him stopped talking. Hound was sick and tired of being torn into and beaten around over perceived insults or threatening actions.

The therapy does Pyre a lot of good, it’s what inspires him to become a counsellor. Eventually he settles down and manages to learn what to avoid and what to distance himself from.

Blood, meat, injured humans, etc. Pyre also deconstructs his ego problems, he stops feeling the need to constantly project “DANGER” to feel safe.

Hound never goes to therapy, ever. Yes he’s still triggered by a lot of things, and yeah sometimes he lashes out or suffers from debilitating panic attacks. No, there’s probably nothing anyone could ever do to convince him to go to therapy, he’s learning in his own way how to manage.

[daitranscripts]

Trespasser Conversation

Blackwall

Trespasser Masterpost Blackwall Masterpost

High approval, PC romanced Solas Blackwall: I’ve been meaning to ask… Solas hasn’t come back? Send word? Anything?

Dialogue options:

General: No. [1]

General: Please don’t. [2]

General: I hope he’s dead. [3]

1 - General: No. PC: I’ve heard nothing. He’s gone. Blackwall: Ah. I’m sorry… Scene ends.

2 - General: Please don’t. PC: Don’t ask, please. It still hurts. Blackwall: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Scene ends.

3 - General: I hope he’s dead. PC: He’s a know-it-all prick, and I hope he’s strung up somewhere. Blackwall: Right. Wound still raw, then.

Sera still with Inquisition Blackwall: And “know-it-all prick,” huh. I see you’ve been spending time with Sera. Scene ends.

—

Blackwall: Need me for anything? Blackwall: Inquisitor.

1 - Dialogue options:

Investigate (low approval): Why are you here? [2]

Investigate (was not freed to atone): How are the Wardens doing? [3]

Investigate (freed to atone): You’re back to being Rainier? [4]

Investigate: You and Josephine… [5]

Investigate: Thoughts on the council? [6]

Investigate: This is a bit of a reunion. [7]

General: I have to go. [8]

2 - Investigate: Why are you here? PC: So, why are you back? As I recall, you weren’t that fond of me. Blackwall: The Inquisition is more than one person. I have other friends here. Trust me, I’ll be trying my best not to get in your way. [back to 1]

3 - Investigate: How are the Wardens doing? PC: What’s it like being a Warden now?

Blackwall (high approval): Things are in upheaval. There have been heated arguments about the future of the Order. (Sighs.) I wouldn’t be surprised if we tore ourselves apart. [back to 1]

Blackwall (low approval): I probably shouldn’t say. I can, however, offer reassurance that there are no future plans for a demon army. Just in case you were worried. [back to 1]

4 - Investigate: You’re back to being Rainier? PC: You’re more comfortable being called by your real name now? Blackwall: Comfortable? Not quite yet. I didn’t want to be Rainer for such a long time. To be quite frank, he was an ass. But he’s—I’ve changed. And reclaiming my name has allowed me to reconnect with people I haven’t seen in years. Family. It wouldn’t have happened without you. [back to 1]

5 - Investigate: You and Josephine… PC: You don’t seem to get flowers for Josephine anymore. Blackwall: You only just noticed? It’s been years, and we both knew it was a momentary infatuation. She still teases me about it. Every time I walk past, she sighs and says her desk lacks cheer. [back to 1]

6 - Investigate: Thoughts on the council? PC: What do you think’s going to happen at the Exalted Council? Blackwall: Maker. I have no idea. Politics always make my head spin. The Inquisition shouldn’t have to give in to whenever some prissy noble gets their knickers wedged somewhere. [back to 1]

7 - Investigate: This is a bit of a reunion. PC: It’s nice to have everyone back in the same place again. Blackwall: (Chuckles.) I have to admit, I missed it. What does it mean when we need a huge diplomatic talk or the world ending just to bring us together?

Blackwall (Sera still with the Inquisition): I got the chance to have a few drinks with Sera. Missed that girl.

Blackwall: It’s still a little awkward talking to Cassandra. But the Commander appears to have forgiven me, finally.

[Back to 1]

8 - General: I have to go. PC: Until later.

Blackwall (romanced): At your pleasure, my lady. Blackwall: Take care.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Life in the City 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bad friends, creep behaviour, abuse of power dynamics, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You move to the big city and find yourself swallowed up by its chaos.

Characters: Clark Kent, Thor Odinson, short!reader

Note: Probably calling in today. Also will hopefully be working on more Dirty Work for tomorrow.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You’ve been waiting for Friday all week. You need this. A girl’s night, just you and Melanie, a bottle of wine, a bowl of popcorn, and your favourite nostalgic blockbuster. You even got a brand new pair of cozy jammies for the occasion.

And it’s your first official get together at your new apartment. Your very own. No more roommates, no more arguments over dishes and dust and a shared bathroom. It’s all yours! It’s almost like a housewarming, even if it is just a bachelor suite.

A new home, a new city, and an old friend. You haven't seen Melanie in years. You keep in touch here and there but she always seems to have so much going on. Now you're in the same place, it won't be so hard.

You bounce in the door, excited to get started on your prep. You leave your work bag in the entryway beside your shoes as your mind runs a mile ahead of you. You’ll fold out the futon couch and throw all your pillows on it. And the extra comforter can go on top. And you’ll put a scarf over the lamp, oh, and you got some candy for the spread. 

It’s a bit childish but it’s been so long since you could just throw away your daily toil and forget. No overtime, no grind, just a night to reconnect and refresh. You grab your bag from the short hallway and take out the clay masks you bought at the drugstore on your way home, you thought that would be so cute!

You pull out your phone and search for the digital rental on your account, wanting it ready to cast as soon as Melanie’s there. Your screen suddenly lights up with an incoming call, interrupting your browsing. You answer, excitedly greeting your best friend.

“Melly Bean,” you chime, “I was just getting everything ready–”

“Oh, really?” Her voice is willowy, “that’s… I’m sorry.”

“What?” You clutch your hand in front of your stomach, your chest filling with dread. You know that tone.

“I totally forgot and I made other plans–”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s shitty but I really can’t cancel and we can do it next week, right? I’ll host. I have a bottle of rose here, or I could make some sangria–”

“Uh, yeah,” you feel like you’ve been punched, “yeah, sure, that’s… that’s fine. Things happen.” You shake your head at yourself as you try to stem your disappointment, “good thing I didn’t even get started…” You look at the futon, covered in pillows and the fluffy pink duvet, “I actually just got in the door, long day at work–”

“You ready?” A distant, deep voice creeps under your rambling from the speaker.

“Sorry, I gotta go,” she interrupts, “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Again, I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. I should’ve put it in my calendar.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure her softly, “call me. Talk later, Mel–”

The line dies before you can finish your sentence. You pull the phone away and frown at the timed out call. You sniff and toss it onto the futon. Well, you can still have a good night. Alone. Catch up on a show and pamper yourself. Your skin is getting a bit patchy.

Or just lay here and watch the same thing you watch every night. Suddenly, you have no energy. You flop onto the mattress, the metal frame creaking loudly, and sigh. Another lazy night, all by yourself.

🏙️

Melanie doesn't answer your call on Saturday. You try not to dwell on it but you know she's not working. Her nine-to-five keeps her planted at her desk Monday to Friday, just like you. Well, you can't be mad at her for having a life.

She texts on Sunday. Just a short but sweet confirmation for next Friday. A heart emoji along with a promise that you'll see each other then. You can bring all your snacks and the face masks, and even your cute new pajamas. Her place must be a lot nicer than yours on her executive assistant salary.

A new week begins but Monday isn't as difficult as usual. You have something to look forward to. Again. This time, it will actually happen.

You spend your days with the spreadsheets and menial reports. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday all blend together into an endless slog but Friday comes around with a special shine. It's the day. 

You breeze through the day, lighter than usual. You even packed everything up so you could commute straight to Melanie's place. She's been texting, saying she's excited. Well, she sent a message at 10:38am. 

It'll be just like in high school, when you sat up all night and giggled. Except this time, you're not too young for the movie you're watching. No, you'll be just like the metropolitan women you watched on the screen, gal pals!

You take the twelve out towards the east side of the city and get off a few blocks from her building, at least according to your GPS. You walk in a full circle before you get your bearings and end up just outside the grated door. You tap the small button to buzz her number and wait. It's a lot fancier than your apartments.

You ring several times without answer, your stomach swimming with nerves. What if she got caught up in something? Could she forget in the  eight hours since her last message? Are you in the wrong place? You check the address again.

You hear someone come up the walkway and sidle aside to let them in. You consider sneaking in after them but you don't know if you should. They might not like that or you might get in trouble. You stand back as the man glances at you and gives a nod. He keys in a code and buzzes himself in. You scrunch your lips, helplessly floundering on the edge of the steps.

"Coming in?" He holds the door.

"Oh, uh," you catch the handle, "sure, I just... my friend wasn't answering."

"No worries, don't look like much of a criminal to me," he kids.

You chuckle quietly, forcing it out nervously as you follow him inside. The entryway is white with silver trimmings and the lobby opens up to a set of two elevators. You look at your phone again, confirming Melanie's apartment number. The man strides on confidently and hits the button, the doors dinging and sliding apart.

"Going up?" He prompts as he puts his hand in front of the censor.

"Uh, sure," you scurry forward. You suppose taking the stairs might be a lot with all the weight in your knapsack.

"Floor?" He trails you into the elevator.

"Um, seventh."

"Ah, what a coincidence," he taps seven and the doors close.

You bring up your chat with Melanie and text her. Hopefully, you're not too early. You don't want to surprise her. You key in that you're there and on your way up.

The door open again and the stranger once more lets you through first. You check the numbers on the plates on the wall; 700 - 710 to the right. You turn and the man heads in the same direction. How awkward. You hold the door to the hallway for him and he catches it, not far behind you. You count the doors until you find 704. 

You stop and knock, stepping closer to let the stranger pass. He doesn't. He stops and laughs as he rubs his palms together. You peek over at him. Oh shoot, you have to be in the wrong place. It explains the no answer and you're standing at his door knocking. You must seem like a crazy person--

The door opens before you can figure out what's going on and Melanie's 'hello' goes from a high squeal to dull disappointment. You look at her as her eyes flit between you and the stranger at your shoulder. She laughs and tosses her hair back.

"Oh, uh, come in," she waves you inside, "movie night, right?"

She rubs her neck as she steps aside, your stomach flipping entirely. Did she forget? Really?

"Um, I forgot to mention..." she says slowly, "Clark's joining us. He's never seen the movie before so I thought..."

"That's fine, but er, I can... just go. I thought..."

"I didn't forget," she insists as the man enters with hesitation, "promise, I just... invited my boyfriend."

"Right, boyfriend," you turn to the stranger, Clark, she said his name is, "hi."

You introduce yourself and he repeats his name. He's handsome and tall. As far as you can tell, he's nice too. The cleft in his chin gives him a rugged handsome news and his eyes a bright and blue. He fits Melanie perfectly. She's changed a lot more than you knew.

You give a strained smile and look around. Her apartment is so nice. You're happy she hadn't seen yours after all. As you try to figure out what to do, she approaches Clark and stands on her toes to kiss him. You keep your eyes on the floor and turn, distracting yourself with your shoes as you peel them off.

"I brought snacks," you say as you unhook your bag from one shoulder, "for the movie--"

"Oh, I'm on a diet. No carbs, no sugar... mostly water and lettuce," she trills, "sorry."

"I...It's okay," you try not to wince as you struggle to free yourself of the heavy bag.

"Here," Clark startles you as he grabs your bag by the handle on top and helps lift it off your left shoulder. You pull your arms free and he carries it to the table, planting it on top beside the tall vase of white orchids. 

"Thanks," you say as you inch forward, anxious about messing up the unlivable pristine apartment, "you can share the snacks... if you're not on a diet."

"I'd love to," he accepts, "should I make up the couch?"

"Uh, sure," Melanie flutters her fingers at him, "I guess that makes sense."

You notice how she bites into her glossy lower lip and looks around desperately. She's wearing a pretty black dress and there's a sparkly clutch on the half-circle table by the wall. You thought Melanie would be your one piece of home in the city but now you feel even more out of place. Uninvited.

"If it's a bad time," you begin.

"I told you," she snips, "I didn't forget. Duh, you think I'm an airhead or something?"

"N-no--"

"I know you went and got your fancy degrees," she sniffs, "but I don't need paper to tell me I have a brain."

"I didn't mean--"

"Mel, cool it," Clark chuckles lightly, "no biggie. I like a night in," he shrugs, "I'll grab some blankets and pillows. We can have a sleepover."

"Sleepover?" She nearly hisses at him, "well, tomorrow--"

"We'll all sleep in and I'll take you ladies to breakfast. Or brunch," he unzips your knapsack and takes out the tall bottle of wine, "depending on how much you indulge." 

"Oh, I can take care of all that," you offer as you near the table.

"You're our guest," he insists as he holds onto the bottle, "hon, you wanna get some glasses?"

You hear the gentle sigh escape Melanie before she replies, "fine."

You wring your hands in front of your chest and hover by the table. You hate this. You feel like you've intruded on their night but you thought...

Your heart sinks as you think of the message; 'looking forward to tonight'. She sent it to the wrong person. She must realise that too.

"Mel will pour us some wine," Clark says loudly, "did you wanna help my grab some blankets and stuff?"

You just nod, thankful for his diversion. Anything to keep you from wallowing in your embarrassment. Everyone there knows you're not supposed to be there. You must seem pathetic.

You follow him down the hall and wait on the other side of the closet door as he opens it. He hands you a folded down duvet. He sends you back to the living room as he goes to grab pillows from the bedroom. You get a glance of the sleek white vanity just as he opens the door.

You turn and traipse back to the front room. You go to the couch and shake out the blanket. You glance over as Melanie slurps loudly from a stemmed glass, the other two are unpoured.

"Really, Mel, I can just go--"

"No, it's fine," she huffs, "I don't want him to think I'm some sort of bitch."

"Oh, I wasn't--"

"You don't call to confirm?" She accuses.

"I texted and I buzzed--"

She shushes you as she hears Clark coming back down the hall. You leave the blanket across the sofa and go to the table. You pour the other two glasses and step back, too uneasy to claim one of your own. Instead, you busy yourself unpacking the snacks but you don't even know if you'll have any yourself.

"You girls sit," Clark insists as he drops the pillows on the sofa, "I'll get everything ready. Oh, hon, you should go put some pajamas on, get in the spirit. You could lend some to your friend too."

"Erm, I brought my own," you offer, "just... thought they were cute."

"Amazing, you two get changed, get cozy, and get the movie going," he grabs the bag of chips from your hands, "oh, and I'll get those kernels popping."

You nod and swallow as Melanie struts out without looking back. You retrieve your pajamas from your bag, brushing close to Clark by accident, and apologise. You quickly flit away to follow her, chasing after her right before she can close you out. You need to find an excuse to get out. Then you can think of how to say sorry for spoiling her date,

[altschmerzes]

if anyone has cats they would like to send me pics of i would appreciate that a lot i am having a very very fucking weird one right now and don’t really know what to do with myself.

the short version is: my dad died today. the long version is..... probably an absolutely ridiculous overshare but. like i said. don’t know what to do with myself so i’m just. idk im talking out loud i guess, putting this Somewhere. it’s. heavy, sorry.

so the post i made recently celebrating seven years going no-contact with my abusive father who kind of ruined my life in a lot of really serious ways i am likely never really going to completely recover from? yeah. he had a stroke earlier this year that sounded like it was pretty serious and that was a lot to process and then i just got the call from my mom that he had a heart attack while fishing with a friend this afternoon and died. apparently it was fast, which is good. he was fifty-five and i guess he’d just hit two years sober.

my mom sounded really upset on the phone, and i guess she’d only found out less than ten minutes before she called me, she just told my sister, who lives with her, and my sister went off to take a shower (read: have a breakdown in the shower), and then called me immediately and said “your dad died” as soon as i answered with a hey, what’s up. they’d been divorced for twenty years and he was a fucking bastard but i guess your ex-husband and your kids’ dad who you’ve recently been reconnecting with and spending time with again dies and you’re probably gonna have some strong feelings about it. my sister is in pieces, they’d reconnected and were spending a lot more time together. in their text they said ‘i barely got any time with him and i’m fucking heartbroken’.

and because he has no other living relatives my 23 year old sister who is uh, in a fragile state on the best of days, is gonna have to deal with all of the paperwork and shit that happens when someone dies. and my sister and i’s relationship is like.... it’s complicated, to put it politely, they are very hard for me to be around for a lot of reasons, but i wouldn’t wish that on them and i wish i was able to take on that stuff if only because i’m almost through law school and i’m the least emotionally invested in the man and it just would be easier for everyone if i did the paperwork and whatever.

and then there’s my brother, because i have a brother, who i barely talk about because it hurts to think about him. he’s nine years older than me and he’s my half-brother by my dad and after my dad went to prison on drug charges i didn’t see him for thirteen years. and then a long time after a brief visit too. he’s got two kids now, and for a while there we were in sporadic contact, but i haven’t seen or heard from him since i was maybe nineteen. and my mom was just kind of rambling on the phone about how she had to find my brother’s mother’s contact information because someone had to tell him and because i’m all the way out here and i can’t DO anything else i told her i’d find her and tell her what happened and get everyone’s contact information for whatever’s coming next so. now i’ve texted my brother, who is a living wound in my life, for the first time in like six years. he hasn’t answered yet and according to his mother he’s ‘devastated.’ so.

i’m not. i’m not devastated. i don’t know what i feel honestly. once i tracked her down on facebook and dealt with all of that i just sort of sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall for a long time. listened to the mountain goats song ‘pale green things’ and drifted in a weird numb void. i’m not.... sad. not about him anyway. i don’t know what i am. i have a very difficult time articulating my feelings on a good day, fuck i mean i have a hard time identifying my feelings on a good day. some combination of autism and cptsd and the sense that if i have feelings someone is going to die, maybe me, maybe someone else. if i have feelings, i get someone killed, is the thought process, which is a long story but. is extremely hard to work around, especially when i don’t see the point because taking active steps to make my feelings known and make them something someone else has to deal with is like. what’s the point. why do that.

so i don’t know what i feel. i feel strange and distant and not-sad and kind of angry at my sister and brother for some fucking reason and guilty and resentful and relieved. there’s some relief in there i think, because it’s like. i don’t know. i had the thought earlier, ‘oh thank gd’ which is. it sounds heinous but i now i’ll never have to choose between attending my sister’s wedding and not having to see him there, if i go back to my hometown and feel like there’s a monster stalking me from the shadows i can just tell myself the fucking monster’s fucking dead and he can’t ever hurt me again. nobody in my family is ever going to be able to pressure me to just talk to him already, just move on and let it go. reconcile, forgive, get past it.

(i don’t know how much any of them know. i have never discussed this with my parents or my sister and i never plan to. we’ve talked about some things in vague euphemisms and talked around it even more. when he got out of prison and then when he was done stalking us which he did for a while and got some help i guess and was doing a bit better my sister wanted to reconnect with him and i didn’t. i had panic attacks, i was terrified, i didn’t want anything to do with him and i didn’t want my sister anywhere near him and i remember all my mom had to say to me about that was ‘if it makes you feel any better, i could take him.’ i don’t know what to... i just don’t know.)

i dunno. i don’t know. when i visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house (my grandmother’s house, when i say ‘parents’ i mean her and my mom generally) i slept with a knife on my bedside table and a plan of how to get out the window because i’d heard that he’d started dropping by sometimes and i was too scared to sleep otherwise. he terrorized me. i have very few memories from before he went to prison and most of them are of being terrified for my life. of being chased through the house, staying above the garage because for some reason we couldn’t be in the house that night. sexual abuse that i can still barely handle thinking about. he haunts my nightmares regularly, even though i haven’t seen or spoken to him in seven years, didn’t see or talk to him very often before that. i have panic attacks in my sleep dreaming about him, enough that i have to be medicated for it.

he’s a person who was deeply troubled and sick and suffered unimaginably in his life and it’s just.... i know all of that and i just. i don’t know. i hope he’s at peace i guess. i know he never was when he was alive. i know i’m not at peace most of the time, largely because of the shit he did to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. my dad’s dead.