#I got really tired in the middle
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Gig Advent Calendar Day 24
I love you 🫶
#i haven't shown the second gif to anyone#it was from the cruise gig#i was ridiculously tired and alone and sick and feeling awful#i had a terrible flu and i got sea sick#the gig made it kinda worth it#and especially this moment#because I know the 'i love u' was only for me and i know it's silly but it really made my day#and like. it makes me feel like i'm worth something#anyways sorry for the rambling#it's in the middle of the night and i'm sad and lonely#merry christmas friends <3#käärijä#my pics#my gifs#my vids
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little attack on @yeehawpim!
mr lavigne will see you now (he's not happy about it)
#i didn't really nail him here - his face should be longer his stubble less pronounced etc#but i think i got some of the vibes :3#love me a tired middle manager#art fight 2024#art fight attack#traditional digital#and that's the end of baby's first art fight#phew
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informative flowchart i made
#jillian.txt#succession#the deal#michael sheen#the thick of it#this is a glimpse into my sick and twisted mind btw.#does anyone love me#i could have gotten deeper with this but i got tired of writing and i have to leave my house soon. you’re welcome#and you’re REALLY welcome for not doing a thing that goes ttoi -> peter capaldi -> doctor who -> david tennant -> back to michael sheen#with a heart in the middle. but know i sort of did in my mind#if you’re reading this btw and you haven’t seen everything in this flowchart well. that’s a sign
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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a quick sketch
#clemart#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#winndoe#winn dos#doe vinci#i will draw doe by herself one day i promise im sorry for all the shipart idk whats going on lately im crazy#i like to think doe just asked winn to do some sort of task or something and winn has no idea what they just agreed to do#this was supposed to be a little bit bigger but i got really tired right in the middle of sketching doe and cropped my already cropped piec#even more
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Yall don't gotta argue with dumb ppl on my behalf- some ppl are just straight up stupid and you can't change that, you're not gonna get anywhere. You can give them all the proof and argue all the logic but it just doesn't matter to them. It's just a waste of your time to try sadly. Especially if they're bigoted, they'll just double down on everything they said bc they think they have a right to be that way to those they don't like. They can rb all the "black fears matter" type of posts they want until all of a sudden they find one of us that speaks up a lil too much for their tastes. Especially if u bring up one of their friends being bigoted or otherwise awful. Then it's suddenly ok to tell u to kill yourself, that you're crazy/mentally unwell etc etc. And they'll swear by their right to do so. The only thing u can do about weirdos like that is to let them run their mouths and block them- they'll make themselves look bad on their own, you don't gotta do it for them. Like I know i waste my time but yall don't gotta waste yours lol. Just leave em be, they're truly not anybody important anyways.
#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#negative#kinda#i always get surprised when random ppl talk about me for days on end but like#in the end it just shows where their head is at ya know#cos theyll be going on and on and im still trying to figure out who they are#its kinda like ppl get this weird parasocial onesided beef sometimes idk#and they get the maddest when u stop mentioning them#thats when they get real big and bad but its all talk really#tryna look cool for their friends or somethin#when ya know they wouldnt dare to say the same stuff face to face?#like middle school kids p much#thats when u just gotta let em run around in circles til they tire themselves out#just my advice as a person that has seen a loooot of weirdos on here lol... they got a pattern
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hiiii omg introduction to the fact that our Norse AU comes from The Last Unicorn!! so when we mention the Norse gods me and @clusterpuppy have come up with they’re basically caricatures and different spin offs of the gods but in THIS universe YIPPEEE
but Thor has a silly group of friends he likes to be around on Midgard to escape the craziness on Asgard! From left to right we got Dmitri, Aimery, Billie, Mirche, Roland, Thor himself, and Neisti! Also his goats are featured in this piece too ^u^
close ups!!! back at it again with trying to mimic the shows style but the show does not include characters that look like all of them 💔 so you see more of my style leaking in this one but it’s okay I had to simplify them as best as I could. I’ll make a masterpost of them all later going into detail!!
#the last unicorn#norse mythology#norse mythology au#norse gods#norse mythology art#norse thor#norse tlu au#procreate#the temptation to give little facts about them is insane#Okay so Dmitri is a ye olden version of a psychologist and psychoanalyzes all of his friends#Aimery is always high. Alwyas got weed. always smoking. He also owns a metaphysical shop of his own with his wife#Billie is actually elven and doesn’t really know it!! very little with elven features but was raised by cowboy parents LMAO#Mirche recovers from his addiction to alcohol by drinking copious amounts of tea. and has a crush on the store owner of the tea place. Corny#Roland is a walking compass and map if they don’t know where to go he’s got it. also has narcolepsy#Thor is Thor let’s be real guys being the constant defender of everything gets tiring#and neisti…. really sharp shooter and good with a bow but will never hunt bc he’s vegan. also is very very traumatized#girls just wanna have fun! (and it’s a gaggle of middle aged men)#OKAY IM DONE RAMBLING ILL DRAW MORE OF ALL OF THEM LATER#need to draw more of the actual gods for y’all#I promise we got interpretations I promise I think about the plot (genuine)
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Let's play will my roommate sleep in her bed tonight or is there Still something wrong
#I'm really self conscious of smelling bad but apparently my side of the soom smelled so bad that it was giving her migranes#which she of never brought up to me we needed to have the ra present#so I washed all my sheets right away through out my old pillows and got new ones#got sent my old blanket and fluffy rug home with my parents and got a new one that is easier to clean#got sentless fabreeze and shoe deodorizer I'm doing my laundry twice and often and showering everyday#even if it kills my hair#AND I got an air filter. so literally what else can I do she is still sleeping out on the couch#I don't even eat in here ever she does#I didn't mention this earlier bc I was embarrassed like I've had the depression middle school sent before and that sticks with you#but my parents couldn't smell anything my ra couldn't smell anything but she still wont come in here longer than to grab#a change of clothes literally what the hell am I supposed to do this actually stresses me out#sstfu.txt#girl really found one of my biggest insecurities if she's actually bothered I want to help but if she's lying ahhhh#I'm tired and there's no tag editor sorry I know some of that doesn't make sense
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western anime fans stop whitewashing/westernizing characters challenge: IMPOSSIBLE
pls don’t start a whole war over this it’s just a joke that’s also kinda not
#ik it may be controversial but it has to be said#like wdym they aren’t used to seasoned food they’re quite literally japanese#and they don’t have middle names#i just find it really crazy how yall hear these very japanese names and think oh yea that’s a white man right there#or smoke weed because it is very illegal in japan and their lives would be destroyed if caught with it#nor do they know this very american/european thing that literally only we know#just a very weird trope i got tired of seeing but thankfully it’s not as common anymore#anime#anime x reader#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#tokrev x reader#tokyo revengers x reader
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which converse do u like better i need opinions
#michelle speaks#sorry the pics are such low quality for some reason the pics on the converse site are really low quality#i even went on my laptop and they were low quality too so like idk what’s up w that?#the problem is. first one i LOVE florals. but second one so butch 😔 that’s my plight always.#also like half of my clothes are olive green lol i have so many clothes in that color so the shoes would match#but i also don’t really have any whiteish shoes aside from the ones w the rainbow on them#so those would also be nice bc i don’t have anything that color & it would match w a lot#it’s just bc my mom asked me if i wanted platform converse for my bday lol. bc i got new converse for christmas#which were red high tops to replace my old ones which were falling apart. so she was like do u want platform ones still#so i looked to see if there was any i liked not that any of this matters & also my meds started kicking in SO hard in the middle of this#legit my eyes r burning from how tired i just got 😭#the rainbow shoes i mentioned are not converse they’re vans. i have an ungodly amount of shoes unfortunately……
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my hair is way too short for me to try a new hairstyle but we'll see what happens
#i want a new haircut before work next week bc i was supposed to get my hair cut this week#and there werent any free times for the only hairdresser i trust in this city until the end of next week#so i looked at the salons instagram and scrolled until i saw a male haircut that wasnt atrocious#and got a time for the person who did that#i want like a wolfcut with long tails#but my hair is to my shoulders at its longest so its not going to really work#also i feel like that's a straight hair thing and mine is wavy but we'll see!#i find it funny how im ALWAYS like ''hehe ill grow my hair fr now'' and then get tired of it after a year and get it shorter again#but! the shorter style i cut it to has consistently been longer and longer#so i will have long hair one day#also no one worry im not cutting it short#just a bit shorter#if im crying about being ugly here on monday just know it was bc i trusted someone else than a middle aged woman with a knife near my hair#wait knife is not the right word#razor!#leevi talks
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basement flooded 🙃
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#our house in the middle of our street#just a little. half an inch. maybe one inch. only in the center not even all the way out to the walls#thank fuck i noticed it this afternoon and not like. tomorrow. saturday.#i've mostly got it mopped up/pumped out. two dehumidifiers & two fans on downstairs.#ran the sump pump until i was Sure it was just flushing fresh water in & not still draining.#i didn't need this. i was already fucking tired and upset today.#and it reminded me too much of being in the Hell Room doing winter maintenance#endless sisyphean task. not even really sure i'm doing it right. gross. feeling physically & mentally bad while doing it.
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Manwe for @nyarnamaitar
Just a little physical improvement for my usual Manwe design here because I think one pair of wings isn´t dramatic enough for him.
#yes he only has a piece of fabric but i really couldnt post him without any cover up and i got tired of drawing wings#otherwise i would have gone for a more biblical look with six pair of wings where the middle ones would cover his body#tolkien#jrr tolkien#silmarillion#manwe#manwe sulimo#sulimo#silm art#digital art#my art
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Sometimes a part of being a Christian who is/has gone through trauma and/or heartbreak is listening to a sad pop song and equating it to Jesus
#for those wondering i'm currently listening to 'take me home' by jess glynne and crying 🙃🙃🙃#it's the 'came to you with a broken faith; gave me more than a hand to hold; caught before i hit the ground;#tell me i'm safe you've got me now' and the 'would you take the wheel if i lose control; if i'm lying here would you take me home;#'could you take care of a broken soul; will you hold me now; will you take me home' for me 🙃😭😭💔💔#there's just a LOT of family stuff happening right now and everyone wants me in the middle of it like always#literally since i was a small child i've been put in the middle of family drama and problems#and i really thought i was at a point where we were done with that but apparently i was wrong#and it hurts#and i'm tired#and i don't want to do this anymore#but God got me through it before and He will again#it's gonna hurt but i'll be okay#christian#christianity#jesus#jesus christ#heartache#heartbreak#trauma#trauma survivor#music#songs#rant in the tags#personal
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Having complicated emotions about my possible neurodivergency again
I just wish I could at least get tested to see if I have ADHD because I just want to know if my years of research and analyzing my brain means anything. Because I don’t want to self diagnose. But I just know something is up with my brain and I don’t know what it is
If I don’t get a diagnosis, then I’ll never know and I’ll never get the resources I need or the community of other neurodivergent individuals (in the case that I do have ADHD or something else) but if I do get a diagnosis and end up being neurodivergent, I’ll be shamed by my family and end up alone in that way. So I don’t win in either situations
And I know I can use resources if they help make my life easier, but I feel like such a fraud like, “Oh look at this loser, she’s using resources for people with ADHD and Autism even though she’s undiagnosed, I bet she’s just faking it.”
I don’t want to be unfair to those who do actually need help but I also feel like I need help with nobody to help me and I’m lost and scared and frustrated and confused and hghhghhjgfhhnn
#it’s so complicated and I don’t know what to do#I’d really be getting the diagnosis for me#because as I’ve mentioned before#medication scares me#but even that makes me feel bad#idk I’m just thinking out loud#I’m just tired of being confused#and I’m tired of being stuck in the middle of something#did anyone else feel like this before they got diagnosed?#I need some insight#because I don’t want to be that person who takes away from people who know for sure that they are neurodivergent#because I would feel terrible if I did that#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw age regression#age regressor#age regression#agere blog#agere positivity#quizzyrambles#Quizzyrants#quizzyvents
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