saint-courtesan

[saint-courtesan]

a collection of vintage lesbian protest pins

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realizing i was a lesbian was the best and most difficult thing in my life. leaving christianity was the second. what was it like for you?

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The urge to write a story about fucked up catholic priest creating a fucked up little cult in fucked up little a village so i can cope with and vent about religious trauma and toxic household.

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my dear progressive people, Protestants are awful but Catholics are most definitely not on your side either.

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there is a special, horrible feeling when your parents choose to love god more than they love you. when they visibly and repeatedly put god above your basic needs, above your happiness, above your safety. when god is a threat. when you have learned god as a figure that hates you: and your parents still choose god above you.

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Today, I met someone who believed that people who left their religion deserve to die, even more so if they dare talk about it or make art out of it.

He told me that not all ideas should be scrutinized. He told me that religion, especially Islam, gets a pass because "it's true.". The part that baffled me the most is the following : "You don't criticize religion like that. The murder of these people is okay, it's halal.".

In his essence, I and many of my loved ones, deserve to die.

This shit is what we apostates have to go through on a daily basis. TBH, I'm so sick of being here. I'm so sick of having to explain time and time again that I, a queer agnostic female artist, doesn't deserve to die. But this place is too far gone in its own delusion and people like me pay the price. I don't agree or even like religious people, but I'm never going to wish death or injury on them because they're human beings. Why can't that same favor be accorded to me? I am human, too. I'm sick of it all.

I deserve to live even if I stand in opposition to you. Ex-muslim writers, artists, critics, singers, bakers, office workers, carpenters, men, women, straights, trans people, gays, asexuals... Deserve to live.

I deserve to live.

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can we please just. stop comparing who’s less privilleged who’s more, who’s more marginalised than other. we all suffer under christianity, white supremacy and misogyny. let’s fight against it and find what we have in common, not "who has it worse and who’s got more power."

and for describing "culturally christian in good way" there’s a brilliant word: religious hegemony. doesn’t matter for which country or religion one uses it, the point goes across.

"culturally christian" is the new "male socialization" and i will die on this hill

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"culturally christian" is the new "male socialization" and i will die on this hill

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no. actually, every religion can propagates harmful beliefs and cause trauma, not just christianity. one can believe in what they want to, whenever it’s for comfort, or other reasons, i don’t care! if you’ve found comfort in things that werent for me, that’s absolutely fine. just don’t push it onto people who didn’t ask for it. it’s as easy as it is.

i don’t feel enough educated to speak about other religious and to call out other religion specifics, but similar thing can apply to every religion.

Not every religious person but many enough to feel uncomfortable around

Not every priest but many enough to not trust single one of them

Not every church but many enough to not wish to enter another anymore

Not every christian, but many enough to avoid and have "christians dni" in the bio

Not every law they helped to pass but enough to want leave country for

Not every family member but enough to find someone else who loves me for who I really am

Not every touch with religion but many enough to leave religion for

Anyone who’s telling you "oh you just weren’t around the real christians" should shut up and stop invalidating your trauma and experience

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We are all upset at British monarchy, many countries under rule of the crown want to finally free themselves, many protests big or silent are being held after death of parasite queen-

Good. Now let’s do this when the pope dies.

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Does anyone have a list of tips for what to say during confessions? For situations when I can’t avoid it, since only "I’ve lied" and "I was lazy" are coming up to my mind :\

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I love when priests can be vocally bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, pro-marital rape, pro-abuse, and praise the awful abortion situation in the States, and his word is "historical truth, common sense, word of god", but when I say I’d love to marry the woman I love, be apostate and get basic reproductive rights, all they tell me is "tone down with that, it can offend some people, keep your lifestyle to yourself."

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Luke 12:5 "....fear the One who, after He has killed has authority to cast into Gehenna; yes, I tell you, fear Him."

Meanwhile the actual Gehenna:

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Not every religious person but many enough to feel uncomfortable around

Not every priest but many enough to not trust single one of them

Not every church but many enough to not wish to enter another anymore

Not every christian, but many enough to avoid and have "christians dni" in the bio

Not every law they helped to pass but enough to want leave country for

Not every family member but enough to find someone else who loves me for who I really am

Not every touch with religion but many enough to leave religion for

Anyone who’s telling you "oh you just weren’t around the real christians" should shut up and stop invalidating your trauma and experience

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I’m not as active here as I used to be, mostly because the reason why I made this account has been already fulfilled. I made this blog mainly to help myself with deconversion and deconstruction, to reassure myself what I feel and believe is valid, that my existence and experiences is valid. I realised these’s more people like me, hurt by religious organisations, sheltered and indoctrinated, trapped inside cults, in fear of losing home if their family finds out about their views on religion, their sexual orientation, gender, etc.

It’s been almost a year since I made this account. A year since my journey. I started as someone who held strongly onto my Bible, who cried at nights, calling to god to forgive me something what has no reason to be forgiven, trying to convince myself I’m not queer, that these feelings are temporary… A year later I’m completely different person. Maybe I’m being the same person just with growth and better, healthier mindset. It’s so relieving to be an atheist, it’s so freeing to be an ex catholic, it’s so fucking beautiful to be who I am. I hope everyone will get to feel this feeling, it’s beautiful. And I do not regret every step of this journey, even if there were worse days. I have my biggest thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, who helped me at each stage of my deconversion, who encouraged and been there for me everyday. She’s the best.

Simply… thank you. Thank you everyone for posting under ex christian tags, thank you for the community, for the help, experiences we share, everything. I might not be making much sense, I might not be able to exactly express everything, just… thank you so much, for everything.

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Ask Game for Apostates, Exchristians, Deconverters and Questioners

(Send a number to me/reblogger’s ask for an answer. Be compassionate, these are personal and not everyone will want to answer all of them.)

1. Do you identify as an apostate, exvangelical, ex-(denomination), heretic, or something else?

2. How would you describe your current beliefs?

3. Have you gotten emotional support from friends in deconverting/deconstructing? Would you like more support? Have you found any online?

4. Was any person, book, or something else instrumental in your deconversion?

5. Who have you told about your deconversion/change in beliefs?

6. Favorite piece(s) of media that speaks to your experiences?

7. Do you like angels or demons?

8. What gives you purpose?

9. Whats one thing that makes you glad you left?

10. What do you love about the world?

11. Has deconverting impacted your experience of gender or sexuality?

12. What are some things that make you happy?

13. (tw) Do you relate to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome?