#I got a little poetic there sorry
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bunnygirllover45 · 9 months ago
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Thank you, thank you so much for making this blog, this makes me feel so happy, everytime you post something I get excited and I just would love to run around the room I am in.
I never want to lose the feeling these kinds of blogs give me. Even if I do, I will still remember how happy this used to make me feel when I was having a bad day.
Johann isn't a good person, nor are the most of other fictional characters I love. But they all make me feel less lonely. Thank you, I want you to know that I adore what you do.
This is literally the cutest shit I've received ever. I'm fucking sobbing. Thank you so much for these sweet words, sometimes it can get a little hard to feel good about what I do, but receiving this kind of words from someone, no matter if it's anonymous or not, I don't care if I never learn who these kind of sweet things are coming from, the important thing to me is to know that there's some people out there that are happy with what I share. And the same way you won't forget the feeling my blog or others make you feel, I won't forget that I can create these kinds of emotions with what I do by simply existing. You're not alone anon, me (and Johann) gotchu. * smooch *
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halflifebutawesome · 3 months ago
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Yellow I just wanted to say I love the amount of life you breathe into both the half life AND hlvrai crew and I've said it in tags before but for the recorrdd your road trip piece is one of my faves of all time. Bless
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OUH…… sniffles a little bit THANK YOU …. tgat means a lot 2 me WEAUGH 🫶🥹
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alittlemxchievous · 2 years ago
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I would describe your aesthetic as powerful elegance. You have a particular grace that I personally feel doesn't go away as you describe chokeholding me into your armpit. That being said. Oh lord the musk must be divine.
I love that. I know I would get you addicted to my musk. Like music and cacophony synthesized. The smell of a riot. Passion in motion.
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0809sysblings · 1 year ago
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I think we just all need to sit down and take in for a minute that Amane is 12. going into 6th grade. she's 12, man. a 12 year old that has probably almost died dozens of times already. a 12 year old for whom the fear of death is there every day and is so tangible it's dangled in front of her like a piece of meat. a piece of meat she's forbidden from eating. a piece of meat she's taunted with.
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brideofdiscord-rewritten · 1 year ago
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Bride of Discord chapter 12: The Story
"Discord, may I ask you something?"
The draconequus had just finished showing Fluttershy his water skiing tricks and was drying off. His feathers clumped up and he looked as if he were one of those dogs, the ones that leave a film on the hoof when pet. Fluttershy loved how happy and prideful he looked when he wanted to show her a trick, like the previously mentioned playful puppy.
"Anything, of course!" he said over his shoulder.
She looked down at the blanket she was sitting on. "Well…I've been here since late summer, and now it's winter, so... and…"
He made his towel disappear and teleported to her side. "Yes? It's been a pretty confusing series of time. I had no idea how much time had passed since you got here!"
"Well…there's something that's been on my mind and…"
She felt him scoot closer and rest his hands on his... whatever's. What were they, if not hooves? Claw and paw? "Go on?"
"I…I just want to know…"
A ray of hope appeared on Discord's face. Was she finally going to say it? But she said it was a question. Still, was this it?!
She looked up at him. "Where did you come from?"
His expression fell. "Oh…see here, when two ponies are in love- you ever heard of spores? Well-"
"Dear no,that's not what I meant! I meant what was your life like before... uhm, y'know, turning into stone." She quivered. She didn't want to think about how that felt.
He sighed. A great weight rested on his every fur, every fibre. " I'll tell you now, it's not very cheery, but if you look at it like a book or painting, then it's kinda beautiful."
Fluttershy lay on her belly. "I'm curious, about what art is to you."
Discord smiled and took a breath. "I like to think that art is seeing the beauty in the ugly and the ridiculous in the aesthetic. Like looking out the window at an ugly forest. If it was a painting, the elements would make it meaningful."
She shifted her weight. She was getting him comfy, and that's what mattered.
"if my life was a biography,I'm sure the paintings and music it would inspire would be beautiful. Perhaps even architecture. Im particularly fond of maximalism, ecobrutalism, cubist works... you get the point. I like to romanticize things. Back to the story!"
She smiled warmly at him, brushing the weight from his follicles with a gentle hoof. He still needed to know where she gets her iron shoes fitted
"well, I'm rather famously one of a kind. I like to think of it as a blessing, no younger brothers or culture to feel like I'm disappointing! I think I just appeared one day, in a big star, surrounded by bigger stars. I remember a quaint little Stone house I'd take apart and put together again. That was how I honed my craft, magic! Chaos! In the middle of space!"
He scratched his hand.
"it does get rather lonely. I have no idea what the concept of age is, or how old I was. I didn't know there were others until I met an owl. It's first reaction was to screech and fly off. So I had no idea what interactions were. The only thing I knew was remodeling a single building, with no idea what it was or why it existed. I found out by wandering around that I was in a dimension between dimensions. I was intertwined between the multiverse."
Fluttershy looked at him like he was... well somehow less normal than he is. He looked down at her and giggled. "See? Weird painting."
He made another pause before continuing. "I'll spare you the details. Let's just say that it didn't take long for me to realize that I was different from most creatures. I came to equestria by complete accident, by my magic bursting while I was practicing. in the middle of the forest, where I met the aforementioned owl. The forest turned black and spikey, and I heard before that it was regular. I corrupted it. I knew then that I wasn't meant to be interacted with. I was a complete anomaly, and should never have existed. Yet, I learned every day for something to accept me."
He felt corny. Fluttershy snuggled close to him. Gosh, that must have been jarring. No concept of anything and then constant yearning. It made her want to cry.
"Then I found Equestria and you ponies, and…well, let's just say they didn't take kindly to my appearance either. I eventually gave up trying to fit in and focused on my magic, making myself at home in a cave in the mountains."
"Was it that cave you took me from?" Fluttershy interjected.
"Yes, in fact. You know Celestia has stopped by there several times to see if I was hiding there? I made myself invisible whenever she came. She found me there, when her mane looked like yours. She saw me practicing my magic and might I add, she was quite impressed with it. She said I should use my talents for good, for her court! Well…" he twiddled his fingers, "she wasn't very specific on her definition of 'good.'"
He gave a small laugh. "My magic wasn't made for pony ideals! It was just wacky! I guess I got in over my horns. I had packed houses every day! Just hours and hours of ponies adoring me, giving me what I wanted, what my magic was made for! Lights! Attention! Laughs! I guess she didn't really like how little i cared about actual court matters. Wasn't my fault!"
Fluttershy Stared intensely at his manners, the lordliness of it all.
"I wished more than ever to date this alicorn. She always pestered me about her day and I just heard her, and didn't listen. I just dreamt about her being my... housewife. I KNOW!" Fluttershy cringed and laughed.
"I asked her out once and... it was over. She couldn't see me anymore. Granted, her sister was locking herself away and becoming... less than favourably hostile, and her kingdom was constantly yelling at her. But I asked anyways. She told me that I only liked her because she was the first pony who was ever kind, and she didn't owe me anything."
Fluttershy sat up. "What did she mean?"
" gosh, it's so stupid. I used to think that since I was nice to her she owed me her hand in marriage! Can you imagine? I didn't care about her princess struggles or her look to the kingdom of she married, I just wanted a wife. Everypony else had that one pony who loved them no matter what, and I thought I was entitled to one!"
Fluttershy spoke up. She puffed up her chest, tried to hold it in, and laughed. "Oh dearie, at least you're past that!" She looked almost pleadingly at him with a warm smile. He nodded.
"well I blew up on her, and she cast me out, telling me to go find a place that accepts my magic and all my demands, but somewhere else. I felt rejected again, and... tried to takeover. Thank Celestia she- wait, what? That's so weird. Anyways, she turned me into stone."
It felt crushing to hear himself thank the pony he harassed into hating him for thwarting the plan that was still in motion.
"Did it hurt? The stone, I mean."
"woof! Lemme tell ya, I've never had a better sleep in my life! It's like all the benefits of sleep, and a good stretch. Never felt a thing."
Discord looked down at her. "But yeah. I got pretty messed up being alone. Not anymore, now that you're here."
He used his tail to bring her closer, making Fluttershy blush. She put a hoof over her muzzle and grinned gently.
"you don't think... of me like that Celestia thing, do you?"
He felt like he was going to heave. He did. One hundred percent. He Never made an attempt to this point to even think about it, but he knew it.
"I've been trying so hard not to think about it, and when I see you, my best-first friend, I can't help but cringe when I remember it. I Can't imagine being in that deep of whatever that was!"
He trailed off and stared into space.
"I suppose I should tell you about me?"
"wouldn't object to it, if you really want to tell me."
"You see…" She glanced down at her hooves. "I was very shy as a filly and could barely fly. All the other ponies laughed at me. It didn't help that I believed them. These boys, they were the only ones I swear loved me."
He choked. "They laughed at you?! You didn't do anything wrong!"
She giggled. "Don't do that. It was a long time ago. Anyway, I know what it's like to be…different. Alone. They treated me like I was too much when I was happy, like I was a disease." She whimpered, and shook it away.
Fluttershy squeaked as he threw his arms around her. "We can't make each other sick, can we! Sickness buddies!!"
She gently tried to push him away. "Discord, please…"
"Did you not hear me, darling? I'm saying you're perfect! And you make me feel less alone! We're peas in a pod!"
"dis-"
"Which reminds me! Do you love me? Better get it out of the way now!"
A wall burst
"I can't! I can't just love you now! You don't know me!"
He floundered into a deflated dunce.
"That's really flattering and all, but…those colts didn't like me. They liked my looks. They never hung out with me after school because they didn't want to have to hear me. They didn't want to listen. Everybody in the world could love you... but nobody really likes you. And I feel like that every time you compliment me, I can't help it. They beat me down just like anyone else, but we're embarrassed to be around anyone else when they said they liked my face."
He felt like a sludge of trash for what he thought. For trying to convince her with a stupid little sob story and a dumb little question.
"I just know it in you you aren't like that anymore, but I just wish you'd let yourself fully heal before you try to marry me. Even if we're just married friends. I wish I could heal first."
True or not, Fluttershy knew he was lonely and that he seemed to care for her, but she could not do it. She might as well be saying 'I do' at the altar. She was not ready.
"Are you alright?"
...
She was so honest with what she wanted. She was so shy and retracted, so outspoken through years of tears.
...
"I think I'm gonna start exploring those thoughts. I think I want to be nature, y'know? I want to be a part of the life here, a little animal. I don't wanna tell myself I'm different until it's true."
She looked at him like he was a roaring river, like he was a gentle spider web. It fascinated her. After everything, he was there.
"Maybe one day we'll get married. one day. but right now, I want to stay as your friend more than anything."
"Be patient, Discord. You've at least gotten somewhere with that pony. She'll say yes eventually. You just need to up your approach. She admitted it herself!"
He smashed the glass. It made him sick. How callously it ignored every word she ever said. At least pretend like you were trying! At least pretend like you're not thinking like that, like you detest it! I'm sure I dont actually hate it, I was right back then... I know it. I think.
He hates that he was unsure. He hates that he knows it was horrible, how he treated Celestia and how he still thinks that way. He hates that he didn't think that way. He hates that Fluttershy tore his plan apart with pony morals.
Across the dinner table, now less quiet, to simple pain.
"why are you making me better?"
She shrunk under his gaze.
"I think you'll be happier when you know you love yourself. And you'll find its easier to make friends that way."
He hoped he didn't come off as how he used to act.
"Well, glad to have you then! I don't want you to feel like you're forced to lo-"
"YOU DONT HAVE ME!"
His face fell as she snapped at him. Fluttershy then took a breath and moved towards the window.
"I understand you don't want me to leave and that we had a deal, but... You've tried so hard to make me happy, but you still deny me the one thing I want." She glanced out as some of her birds tried to fly into the forest but were stopped by the force field.
"Well, you've denied me the one thing I want, and what I want is…"
His frustration melted away when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. He cautiously stepped toward her.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to …"
He lightly hovered his claw over her, almost asking, only to have her pull away.
"Fluttershy…"
She faced him. "I want to let them go."
He blinked. "What?"
Fluttershy glanced back at the animals outside. "It would be selfish of me to keep them here. They're not here because they need me. I thought they did, but…I just wanted them here for myself."
Discord put his claw on her shoulder. "That's why I brought them here. For you."
"And now I want you to send them back."
"But…don't they make you happy?"
"Look at them." She pointed at the birds pecking at the invisible wall. "They don't want to stay here. That's why you have to send them back. And besides this... in sorry, but I want you to help yourself too. I can't always help you, because we're too similar."
He stared at her for a while, wiping away her tears. "I understand. I know you can't always help me, but I'm glad you're real with me. I guess I'd like to have more friends, not just you. But... you sure this is what you want?"
She looked up at him and nodded.
She knew he knew she never owed him a thing, and smiled as he let them go. He simply hugged her hard and sat and talked throughout the meal. They talked and laughed and he never asked for a thing. The birds sang louder than they did when they were trapped. He probably didn't even know it, but he climbed the stairs once more and they felt one step lower.
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amee-racle-ofmyown · 11 months ago
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Csptaineer art request 5. admiring them from afar
dear anon, I know you asked for art but I had intended these as writing prompts! however!! I may doodle something for this later anyway, because it's cute :3
and still, never do we tire of watching stars glow
head engineer mark x reader (the captain) | words: 877
For as long as you'd known him, he'd always had a certain look of awe about him when it came to space:
When you were kids, huddled up in blankets watching a documentary about The Solar System while you shared a bowl of cookies.
And as teens, laying side by side in the dry summer grass, gazing up at the stars dotting the sky, laughing and pointing out constellations and making up stories about what it would be like when you got to be among them. 
And as cadets, the first time you voyaged beyond Earth's atmosphere.
Now the Captain of a ship he'd built from the ground up, it took you by surprise when you looked up from your data tablet one day to see him gazing at you with that same look of wistfulness and wonder.
His expression lasted for the briefest moment before he registered that you'd seen him, eyes widening and cheeks flushing almost imperceptibly from this distance. He immediately averted his gaze to anywhere but yours, busying himself with whatever he could.
You let out an amused huff, an incredulous yet flattered smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
It was far from the first time you'd caught someone giving you a starstruck or near-mesmerised look, especially within your own crew. But for him to be the one staring like that? The same admiration and fascination that you'd seen in his eyes when he beheld an eclipse, or a meteor shower, or your new home planet, directed at you…? 
You couldn't deny the small flutter in your stomach, or your heartbeat slightly quickening its pace.
You brushed off the thought and continued working, but from then on you couldn't help but keep noticing the awe and longing when he looked at you, whether it be from across a room or in conversation. It made you wonder if this was a recent phenomenon, or if you had simply been blind to it for a long time.
It was one of those moments of catching his warm, starlit gaze in which you were caught off-guard once again.
You met his eyes with the same intensity once you realised he was watching you, raising your eyebrows slightly to get his attention. He looked embarrassed and a little taken aback, as he always did in such scenarios, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he decided whether or not to abandon ship. Instead, his mouth curved into a smile that crinkled his eyes with fondness, followed by a quick wink. 
Now it was your turn to look surprised. 
It's not that the gesture was out of character or that he couldn't be bold when he wanted to. You just hadn't expected it now.
Later, you found it in you to be direct.
‘What's with all the staring lately, Mark?’
His eyes widened at the question. It wasn't particularly like you to be so upfront about something like this.
You watched as your head engineer’s expression turned apologetic and a little guilty, like he'd been caught red-handed.
‘Uhh- I'm sorry. Am I in trouble, Captain?’
You giggled quietly. ‘Nah. I never said I minded, just wondering…’
He visibly relaxed at your response.
‘Oh, well in that case. To be honest, Cap, it's sorta hard to look away sometimes.’
You felt your face flush at this, but were given no pause to utter a reply even if you’d had the words; he continued quickly, as if just realising what he'd said aloud and in the same moment deciding to fully commit to speaking his mind, before he could let himself back out.
‘I just- I love seeing you doing your job, you look so happy and assured. And proud — of everyone you work with, proud that you're part of the team. You're always so willing to help out and listen to what everyone needs. And watching you take command of a situation- You just– you have this aura that screams that you belong here, this is what you were meant to do, and you have a positive effect on everybody around you. We're so lucky and grateful to have you as our Captain.’
And here you are, stunned into silence for a moment. 
He stands there, trying to gauge your reaction, a little flustered himself but steadfast in his confession.
You feel a little giddy, but take a breath to soothe your racing heart, finally composing yourself again as the smile you can no longer hold back paints your face.
‘Thank you, Mark. That's… that's really sweet.’
He grins. ‘Just being honest.’
‘And I feel exactly the same about you, by the way.’ 
He tilts his head in confusion.
‘Watching you in action, it's the same.’
You can see it in his eyes when it clicks.
‘Wait, Captain, are you saying you-’
‘Almost as much as you,’ you chuckle. ‘Except I don't get caught. You could definitely use some improvement in that area.’
He looks away, smile becoming sheepish, the tint on his cheeks you are sure matches yours from only moments ago. 
‘But… like I said,’ you speak up again, drawing his attention back to you. ‘I don't really mind. It is kinda cute seeing your reaction when I catch you.’
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kaedthoughts · 2 years ago
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Oh to throw a fluffy bunny boy over my broad shoulder and bury my knuckles into their bunnycunt. I can picture it, the futile struggle after I've been badmouthed off to, I'm small but I'm incredibly strong. Which means tossing my bunny over my shoulder would be a breeze. Especially when I have punishment on my mind. You want to talk back? Try talking back through my pulsing fingers against your walls, flexing and curling at whatever pace I please. That's not all, though, how could I possibly ignore that throbbing rabbitcock? My thumb is incredibly dexterous- as well as my others from years of playing guitar, and I'm salivating at the thought of playing my bunny the same way. Until my fingers are raw, my lovely instrument weeping from relief.
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artekai · 1 year ago
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Honestly "I could give you the world but you'd poison the seas" is Frosscore enough that it could apply to most people who have ever cared about him. But also, it should clearly be about Lis. Combine that with Aloy's "Elisabet is the only reason you even have a planet to return to" for greater impact. Boom
#not to be obsessed with not only my own playlists but also my own writing but. man. poetic cinema#starting to think that the reason fross is always self-sabotaging is because he's already convinced that everything will inevitably go wron#and instead of waiting for it to catch him off guard he just. poisons it a little himself first.#and maybe then it won't hurt as much when shit does hit the fan!#(< look at this dumbass (me) having the exact same realization about my characters five separate times bc my memory sucks 😔)#but just look at his history. every time he tried to do something the right way in earnest it got fucked up for reasons out of his control#so. i could see it. why put in the effort to do things the right way if he's gonna get disappointed in the end?#it's almost like the hurdles that he himself creates are a test. and smth can only be worth pursuing if it can endure those hurdles first#it makes sense why his redemption arc starts once he's stuck on earth and he's like.#''ok now nemesis is gonna kill me for sure. there is nothing i can do to make this situation any worse. guess i'll wash the dishes fml''#lol#but i also think about pre-apocalypse fross practically begging tilda to let him have something that's uniquely his. even if it sucks#(putting a pin on fross's anxieties about being cloned and his disdain towards aloy and beta in that regard)#because he feels like he's always been pulled by external forces and he doesn't know how to break free. doesn't think he even WANTS to#because it's all he's ever known. and stepping outside of his comfort zone is scary :')#but of course he doesn't have the emotional awareness to even be aware of any of that lmao. pity#oc: fross#oc tag#ramble#anyways. sorry i put the meat of this post in the tags. i didn't expect to write this much lol
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dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
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I keep thinking about the mechanics for how to make kazumaji happen outside of adrenaline fuelled lovemaking , like obviously majima isnt going to solicit him for an actual relationship because whatever they have going on is already more than he expected to get because majima isnt a wanting man he gets dealt his hand then he plays (plus hes waiting for someone else , he cant leave and have his story end with kiryu , they both know this) , kiryu isnt a wanting man either i mean not for his love life but you know this guy fights like hell to get what he wants. He doesn’t exactly have a problem pulling girls but its the commitment after thats the issue , he always has someplace to be thats not here no matter how suave and charming he is youre gonna be wondering why he ghosted you for three years then find out he just got released from prison the point is that he doesnt follow through. Once youre done with him then youre done and very rarely is he gonna come back (unless he wasnt actually done with you). Majima offers to help him out in osaka and kiryu says no no no see ive left you behind i have to live this next chapter of my life properly now , without you. He has this inability to understand that people want to spend time with him thats not him helping them / repaying him a favour / working together to achieve a common goal. You literally cant assume he’ll be around you really have to cling tight or he’ll find some reason to fuck off and by then you cant even ask him to stay because Shit is it a good reason. Y0 nishiki got so so fucking close to showing kiryu he didnt need to have any redeeming qualities for people to like hanging out with him. He didnt need to be fun or like to party or entertaining at all , just him sitting quietly on a nearby barstool and maybe clapping along is enough to make his night fun as hell. Im sure kiryu realises that he can be distant and lack initiative , im sure this self awareness has convinced him that hes an undesirable long term romantic partner , and majima fucking up big time with mirei also forces him to internalise the fact that hes not a good partner either. So the two of them have to really really Really want something to start it because otherwise theyd be gracefully and expertly sidestepping any mention of commitment , pirouetting around the word “partner”, assuming they’ve made things clear when no discussion had taken place. They dont figure it out because its obvious to everybody thats not them, all the thinly veiled offers to be useful to each other, the leaning forward when they speak to each other , the open mouthed kisses with tongue , they want each other. More than one time , more than This... but how does one communicate something they havent realised yet ...
#Yakuza loveblog#now hear me out .. kiryu only asks girls out but he wont say no if a guy (he likes) solicits him (if its a guy he doesnt like hed be like#EW !! no !!! <- using his homophobic voice) so bear with me. kazumaji can happen the moment kiryu realises that majima is a girl#i like tht kiryu isnt interested in long term relationships but also hes kind of horny. a barker would be like Hey ! you look like you have#big muscles / a deep voice / masculine energy Sir do you want to HAVE SEX ? And kiryus like Now you got me interested#girls will sexually harrass him but guys on the street will tell him shit like Im a straight man but ....#anyway i believe that majima has to get the ball rolling before kiryu can take it the whole way because he decides that he loves this a lot#i think that they should book a hotel room in osaka for about two to three hours (kiryu is not going to risk doing it in the orphanage) and#kiryu loves him enough to tell him i cleaned my ass for this <3 and when majima is sack deep he asks if kiryu has had any girlfriends since#leaving tokyo (he cares a lot. he would be happy if kiryu got a girlfriend to take care of him) and he laughs and asks him how the hell hes#supposed to get a girlfriend while taking care of nine kids and besides .. he only likes him. right now kiryu only likes majima ...#i think he might cry from being told that. i really think he likes kiryu a ridiculous amount and it made him melt to hear that#sometimes a home is a person because you can come inside#and the only thing kiryus waxing is poetic hashtag bush nation#im not done. sorry for signing off. i believe that majima doesnt get jealous he might get a bit melancholy but he wont lash out because#kiryus ‘seeing some other girl’ he would totally ship them forgive my phrasing hed be the best wingman ever he would also drill kiryus#partner like hiiii so this is the lucky lady <3 and conduct a full background check on her just to be safe. kiryus precious to him he#gotta scare her a bit. let her know just how important kiryu is to him and how sharp his knife is haha take it easy though. hope you make#him happier than i could. i think their relationship will always skew one way with majima knowing everything about kiryu and kiryu knowing#very little about majima. he would be surprised to learn that majima is divorced. he was surprised to know that majima had a brother#in a better universe kiryu would have been able to identify saejima by description alone. as it stands i think he might have had an inkling#looking at ... ‘suzuki’ and thinking majima had a brother in prison .. hmmm ... somehow this guy reminds me of him ..... somehow#anyway he knows majima doesnt like to talk about it so he forgets his past and takes him as he is now. doesnt ask where all those scars on#his wrists came from. doesnt ask about his ex wife. hes content to exist as they are and majima knows kiryu wont ask and he feels bad about#it because he thinks kiryu should know .. but the words dont come out and kiryu is always so understanding ...#i think saejima makes majima talk but thats cause hes big on communication. he squeezes it out of majima and he cries hearing what he was#put through and majima comes out of it raw but lighter. see saejima is his best friend but kiryu is his special baby boy the dont need to#they dont have to say anything theyre just here for the company#okay im done hii hiiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiii hi
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deadbaguette · 2 months ago
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[repost from an old piece]
Once a year, she will return. A daughter, into her mother arms once more
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Dearest, Kore Persephone
The spring waits for you to return
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cloudstongue · 6 months ago
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vent time you guys. its about time, you know this
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i dont know qhat happened man. today has been a mess. i feel like a scatter. all over the place. disaster. calamity. i dont know how to describe it. but i think i had a mental breakdown. perhaps, again. maybe ive done it so many times…and just now is when i realize that its a mental breakdown and not “oo boo hoo sad cry cry cry hit cry button wahhh waterworks OH SHIT A FLOOD!”. i just dont understand it. im in a very emotional state right now, and i want everybody to realize that. right now i feel like everything negative at the end of the day is adding up and accumulating and piling up and and and coming together, forming a group to attach me and wear me down. and thats just how life is sometimes. but sometimes i just cant take it anymore. everyday. i want to scream. sometimes i just start to cry. and cry and cry and cry and pour until my eyes sore and turn red like some inflammatory response.
…thats just how life is sometimes.
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lovesong · 6 months ago
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how did i let myself become so horrifically pathetically in love with a guy who turned me down over a year ago i'm such a moron. like i've really sat here & let him break my heart over & over just because he's nice to me & likes touching me & having sex with me sometimes. . but in my defence how am i supposed to get over him when he's so sweet & smart & patient & understanding & he tips his head back when he laughs & always smells like laundry & puts sugar in his hot chocolate & can't sit still & tries so so hard & cares so much & knows just what to say & tells me i'm amazing & rubs my back & hugs me from behind when i'm sad & lets me keep his clothes & hold his hand when i have a panic attack & gets me water & he knows how to belong everywhere in the world & reads entire books to try to understand me better & his arms are the safest place i've ever been & being touched by him is like being water kissed by sunlight like 😐😐 god really said i crafted an angel out of my spare sunshine & i'm sending him to you & you get to touch him & be loved by him but you don't get to keep him & he was never really yours to begin with & now you just have to move on with your life like anything else could ever compare & figure out how to be just friends & watch him move on when you've felt the warmth of his affection & been so close to being his & you know what it feels like to have his hands & his mouth everywhere & drift off in his arms & the only place you know where to live is his lap & with his hand in yours but you can never go back there & sometimes it will feel okay because he's still your best friend & he'll pick you up & spin you around & play with your hair & say all the same reassuring words & be funny & charming & lovely but then sometimes the distance will drown you & you'll sob yourself to sleep & when he's there you'll have to hold back your tears & know that your hurt is hurting him but have no way of stopping it & not know how to live & what to do with your hands & who to run to when the one you used to run to is right there but just out of reach & only ever gonna get further & further away from you & will find someone to hold who he feels something real for & will leave with her someday & not you & you just have to be okay with it all & pretend like the hurt & the jealousy aren't making your heart bruise like a piece of fruit he picked up for a while but decided he didn't want after all 🫶🫶
#handling the situationship breakup very well#it'll be ok in the end but goddamn!!! i sure am suffering the consequences of my actions 😃 at least the dick was crazy <3#sorry for using cringy poetic comparisons to express my feelings.#it'll happen again <3#speaking of. stay tuned to see if i beat the urge to wait for the next time he wants me like a dog with a bird at his door#i need to unwrap myself from his finger#if not for me then for our friendship#if we go on the way we have been all this aching is gonna turn into resentment n i don't want that — he's too important to me#but i think he's serious this time anyway#there's peace in my pain ig 🤙#the back n forth was good when it was good but it was making us hurt each other — at least this is just one hurt to get used to#& hurting him so much is the last thing on this earth i ever wanna do again. so hopefully this will help w/ that. . & maybe#someday i can love him the way he wants w no red strings attached#tldr i <3 being dramatic. goodnight ⭐😴#hope i dream of the alternate reality where he loves me back. ik it's out there. or maybe a visit would just hurt more idk#i like it here anyway. even when it hurts n even when i forget how to. this is my life n i wanna see how it turns out#hope we look back n laugh at how foolish i was n how i feared i'd never find anything better than this. i'm only 20 after all#but if this really is it (unlikely) (but if it is) at least i got to be in the sunlight for a little. . just have to live with the sunburn
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5sospenguinqueen · 5 months ago
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Bedtime Stories Pt 2 | Daniel Ricciardo x Author! Reader
Summary: Daniel made a silly little comment that lost him everything. Over a year later, he tries his hardest to fix his mistakes.
Warnings: Swearing. A tiny smidge of angst but mainly fluff. Redemption for Daniel.
Female reader with various faceclaims (pics found on pinterest). Takes place in 2023. For the purpose of this, Daniel has been with AlphaTauri the whole time.
Main Masterlist
prev.
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28•05•2023
danielricciardo just posted
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liked by redbullracing, YourUserName and others
danielricciardo monaco, always a delight. P11. so close to the points but racing through your streets feels like being on a podium
4,337 comments
landonorris and whose attention are we trying to grab with that sexy last pic 👀
→ danielricciardo only yours, mate 
→ User1 don’t act like you’re not dying inside because y/n liked this 
→ User2 relax, they never unfollowed each other 🙄
maxverstappen1 you’ll get them next time, mate
→ danielricciardo fancy giving me a tow?
→ maxverstappen1 never
→ User3 i love their friendship so much
User4 um, did anyone see that y/n liked and then unliked this post 
→ User5 omg yes! sis was caught stalking and we love her for it 
→ User6 i too would thirst over my ex if he looked like that 
kellypiquet we were watching the whole time
liked by danielricciardo
→ User7 what a weird comment to make?
→ User8 who’s we, kelly? 
→ User9 what does this mean? 
 
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04•06•2023
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Tweet 1
User10 @ kikiki babe did you hit your head? is that why you were in the ER? they broke up
User11 @ kikiki maybe ask them to do a head scan whilst you're there 'cause ain't no way you saw here there
→ User12 literally. like why would she even be in spain right now?
Tweet 2
User11 i think we might have to apologise to @ kikiki
→ User10 can we really trust the wag page though? They did report that Lando was having a secret love child the other week..?
Tweet 3
User13 asking the real questions because she's not even hinted that she’s been writing so it’s not like she’s on a book tour or anything?
→ User14 some people are saying she could be on vacation but please, why would mother choose a holiday destination during a time that she knows is a GP?
User15 guys, guys, I think our sacrifice circle worked 
→ User16 please, please, 🕯️🕯️
User 17 how poetic would it be though if they got back together  during the spanish GP when they broke up at the spanish GP a year ago 
User18 shouldn’t you know these answers, and that she was in spain, if you're her so-called updates page
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22•08•2023
YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others
YourUserName some big news approaching 
6,349 comments
kellypiquet i can’t wait, my beautiful girl 
→ YourUserName thank you for being my #1 support
→ kellypiquet thank you for letting me help plan
→ User1 what does this mean? 
→ User2 miss piquet stop being so cryptic on socials 
maxverstappen1 i’m very excited 
→ YourUserName did kelly force you to write that because i could feel the excitement oozing through the screen
→ maxverstappen1 i wanted to say something worse 
→ YourUserName i hope she leaves you
→ kellypiquet behave, you two! 
→ User3 i live for max and y/n terrorising each other, even without danny ric being around to encourage it
bloomsburypublishing we look forward to the end result
User4 i’m sorry but is this a soft launch?
User5 who is that in the last slide, miss y/n?
→ User6 the inspiration behind a new romance we hope
User7 don’t be shy. tag him 
User8 soft launches have recently become my least favourite thing
charles_leclerc are you perhaps writing my next plane read
→ YourUserName depends how long the flight is 
→ User9 confirmation of a new book ya’ll!! everyone say thank you charles
User10 i like to be edged by her books, not by her hiding her man
User11 don't try and distract us with news of a new book, we wanna know who the feet belong to!
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01•09•2023
danielricciardo just posted
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liked by maxverstapen1, yukitsunoda0511 and others
danielricciardo ciao a tutti. lovely sightseeing in beautiful Italy
6,445 comments
User12 you’re telling me that i’m currently in the same country as THE daniel ricciardo?
kellypiquet i’m still trying to recover from that hike
→ User13 kelly and max went on a double date with daniel and the new girl?!
→ User14 omg please be y/n. i can’t imagine kelly agreeing to it otherwise
User15 i know he's trying to distract us with his beauty but we see the last slide, daniel. we see it
pierregasly so you’re telling me that you were in milan and didn’t bother to come and see me? that’s it. i'm ending our friendship
→ danielricciardo i’m sorry, mate. i was doing more important things
→ pierregasly clearly ;)
User16 someone check on y/n, please
→ User17 babe is clearly having the time of her life in italy (yes, i'm delusional)
User18 does nobody find it odd that he’s posting a soft launch not long after y/n posted a soft launch
→ User19 i know! it’s only been three weeks since hers and he’s posting one
→ User20 i can’t decide whether they’re soft launching each other or he’s trying to make her jealous by flaunting a new relationship as well
→ User21 it HAS to be each other or i will die
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15•10•2023
lando.jpg just posted
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liked by YourUserName, danielricciardo and others
lando.jpg so i attended this event… and no, it’s not mine before you all freak out
8,223 comments
charles_leclerc it was a beautiful day ❤️
alexandrasaintmleux i’m so thankful to have been a part of such wonderful memories
kellypiquet the most beautiful bride i have ever seen
maxverstappen1 this was a nicer caption than i expected from you
→ danielricciardo agreed
→ landonorris i take offence to that
User1 guys do we think kelly and max got married? they’ve both comments on this?
→ User2 yes but so did charles and alex so…
→ User3 plus, i know kelly is stunning but do we really think she would call herself the most beautiful bride in 3rd person?
georgerussell63 i’m surprised you remember much after the state you were in
→ landonorris excuse you but most of that was just pure happiness
hulkhulkenberg an amazing day
estebanocon so happy to have been a part of this
alex_albon how’s the hangover, mate
→ landonorris i didn’t drink that much!
→ georgerussell63 tell that to the bouquet that you puked on
→ landonorris i caught it so it was mine anyway
carlossainz55 beautiful photos. she’ll love those
→ User4 who’s she?!
lewishamilton🤍🩵
fernandoalo_official congratulations to the happy couple
User5 the entire grid are commenting on this post, clearly having been in attendance. who IS IT?
pierregasly c’était une belle mariée
liked by YourUserName
User6 guys, y/n’s name on socials just changed from y/l/n to ricciardo
liked by danielricciardo
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03•04•2024
YourUserName just posted with danielricciardo
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liked by kellypiquet, maxverstappen1 and others
YourUserName my husband helped with this project. baby ric coming aug 2024
9,550 comments
kellypiquet you will be the most beautiful mother. i’m so honoured to be part of this with you 💕
→ YourUserName stop you’re going to make me cry. you’ll be the most perfect godmother
→ kellypiquet i still think you should've married me instead
maxverstappen1 i call godfather
→ landonorris no you don’t get to call godfather! you already got to be a groomsman
→ maxverstappen1 yeah because who helped get them back together
→ YourUserName kelly
→ danielricciardo me
→ YourUserName no, babe
danielricciardo and before you all ask, no I haven’t stopped crying since she told me
→ kellypiquet me too, dan, me too
maxverstappen1 on a serious note, i am very happy for the two of you. y/n will be a wonderful mother, and daniel, he’ll be there also
charles_leclerc i am so excited. alex keeps telling me to stop buying baby things for you guys but i just don’t listen
→ YourUserName well at least you can safely say that uncle charl bought little mcqueen’s love
→ User7 uncle charl!!!!
lewishamilton congratulations, you two. y/n looks amazing
fernandoalo_official how lovely 💚
User8 omg it WAS their wedding lando attended!!!!!
hulkhulkenberg baby ricciardo!!
pierregasly congratulations. i can’t wait to be uncle GASSLYYYYYY
alex_albon welcome baby ricciardo
→ lilymhe it’s not an alien, alex. you don’t have to greet it so formally
redbullracing we’re all so excited for the upcoming grid baby. working on a racer stroller right this minute
→ mclaren you stole our gift idea!
→ redbullracing you stole our driver!
carlossainz55 congratulations y/n and daniel 😄
mercedesamgf1 what wonderful news 🍼
landonorris i’m just so glad i can go back to calling you mum and dad without daniel wanting to drive his car into the barrier
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Please don’t hate me for this! I did say from the beginning that Part 2s would be redemption.
I’ve had this planned and written since before Part 1 was published so when half of you then asked for her to get with another driver/move on, I was like noooooo I’ve already planned their baby 😂
As always. Requests welcome. If you have requested, I promise I’m not ignoring it, it’s been added to my queue
Baby Fever Angst Series
Tag list
@bibissparkles @barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @dullypully @softtina @callsignwidow @lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @reguluscrystals @peachiicherries @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @weekendlusting @leclercsluvs @hannannannannannah @lifeless-firefly @sinofwriting @exotic-iris13 @imperfect-paragon @dan3avocado @barcelonaloverf1life @avillagesperson @hard4ndsoft @justzluv @laneyspaulding19 @danielshoe @chocolatefanunknown @redcrescentmoons
Sorry if I missed anyone!
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You know what else is harsh? The sheer cliff of a mountain, covered in snow, constantly battered by winds. Climbers often tell of how harsh mountains are, yes, but they also tell how beautiful they are. Even when it seems impossible, life still thrives on that mountain. Harsh and beautiful can coexist- they do so all the time in nature. And what are we if not an extension of nature?
hot take: opinions "german sounds harsh" and "german sounds beautiful" can coexist
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bi-writes · 6 months ago
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you're cooking when you notice him. you finish dicing the onion on your cutting board, and when you look up, you smile when you see the looming shadow that takes up the space behind your curtains. (mercenary!ghost x fem!reader, 18+)
"hi, spooky skeleton," you giggle, turning around and dropping the onions into the pot. the sizzle warms your apartment, and when you turn back around, you smile wider when he's come out from the shadows, closer, already on the other side of the kitchen island and only a few steps away from you.
he's geared up. vest thick and heavy strapped to his chest, the hood of his rain jacket over his head to further conceal the skull mask he wears. he stands tall, back straight and eyes narrowed, what little you could see of them. you put the cutting board down, twirling the kitchen knife you hold in your hand before holding it out in front of you, putting the sharp tip against the center of his chest.
"slow down there, big boy," you coo. "did you do as i told you?"
he snarls a bit before fishing a phone out of his pocket, tossing it onto the counter. you look down at it, watching the video playing. it's your mark, slobbering in tears, begging for his life. he pleads, holds up his hands, shakes his head, says that he's sorry in every language he knows until there's a satisfying hole in the middle of his forehead, a lone trail of blood making its way down his face. you think it looks like he's crying tears of blood. it's oddly poetic.
you look back at him, meeting his dark eyes, and you draw your hand back, setting the knife down. with your other hand, you drag your knuckles down the side of his masked face, puckering your lips and blowing him a dramatic kiss.
"such a proficient one, you are," you murmur. "what is that? third one this week?"
"want m'prize," he growls, and you step closer hooking your fingers into the collar of his vest and blowing him another kiss. then, you reach for the kitchen drawer next to you and pull it, taking out a thick envelope and handing it to him.
"you're making them very happy, ghost," you tap the plastic of the skull, giggling. "they like you a lot. got time for another?"
he clicks his tongue, tilting his head to the side, and you squeak when he reaches down and grips both sides of your ass with two big hands. you laugh, but it turns into a breathless moan when those hands slip under your skirt and tug at the lace of your panties.
"i want the real prize, want wot 'm owed," ghost says lowly. you stand up on your toes, pressing your mouth to his over his mask. you let your hands fall, pressing on the backs of his hands, encouraging him to slip a few fingers under the lace and prod the entrance of your sticky cunt.
"you want it, baby?" you whimper. "do you?"
"yes--" you feel him bite from under the mask, and you stick your tongue out, licking over the line of his bottom lip, your pride swelling when you feel how shaky he breathes as you tease him. "give it t' me--"
there it is. now i have you.
"well..." you press your pelvis to his, rocking against his fingers, and he hisses when he feels the way you soak the fabric of his gloves. he wants to eat it, he wants to have you, he wants what he was promised. "gotta do somethin' for me first, ghost. gotta job for you. can't pay you for it though, not the way you like."
you think you see him smile under the mask, the corners of his eyes crinkling as if he likes what he hears. as if he knows what it is you will give him if he just does as you say.
"y'know wot it is tha' i want, don't you, swee'eart?"
yes, you think, and you respond by giving the front of his mask a kiss, one you think he reciprocates by the way he cradles the back of your head.
i know what it is that you want because...i want it, too.
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daenysx · 1 month ago
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hi lovely!!
i don’t know if you’re talking requests but i’ve been having trouble sleeping this past month, like i sleep for an hour or two mostly 😭
anyways i was wondering if u could writer a james potter x fem!reader fic where james gives the reader back rubs and helps them sleep when they can’t? i feel like he’d be so gentle when it comes to that. thank uu!!
hi, angel, i'm taking requests !! thank you, i hope you enjoy <3333
james potter x fem!reader, fluff
james runs hotter than ever when it's raining out there.
you don't know the reason of it but feeling his warmth under the blankets is nicer than you can ever explain with words. he took off his clothes once he got home and joined you under the fluffy fabric, your cheek squishes on his bare chest as you watch the tv mindlessly. it's a cooking program that james likes, you don't even know the name of the dish they are making.
you think you can easily fall asleep here. it's been difficult for you lately; relaxing and closing your eyes, falling into a deep slumber in peace. you crave it so hard, the feeling of having a good rest. it needs to come naturally, you know that much. nothing happens when you force yourself.
"angel?" your boyfriend asks, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. "i can carry you to bed if you're sleepy."
"just wanna stay here." you say. it's hard to make the bed warm, you spent so many minutes under this blanket. "couldn't sleep much for the past week."
james was away for a little trip a few days ago, and then he needed to help his dad with some stuff which kept him away from being with you during the nights. maybe that's the problem. his existence brings safety, you'd close your eyes and fall asleep anywhere as long as you have him.
he wraps his strong arm around you properly, caging you from every worry you could ever have. his lips on your head move as if they are apologising. you kiss his chest, his heart. snuggled into him like a kitten.
the kisses he puts on the side of your head feel somewhat poetic. his hand is big, so much bigger than yours, and he rubs it nicely on your entire back. your muscles are a bit tense, from the day and all the other things that bother you, but james knows how to press his fingertips on the right places.
"poor thing." he whispers, affection drips from his voice. "i'm sorry i couldn't be here. can i make it up to you?"
you nod, half open eyes staring at his beautiful face. he keeps moving his hand on you, his heart beating in a certain rhytm under your ear. you look at his lips before giving him a nice kiss. it's a simple one this time, just the crash of lips, but that's what james favors. his sleepy girl, cuddled up and taken care of, safe and content.
you fall asleep to the sound of raindrops hitting against the window. james watches you instead of the cooking show.
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