#finals fried my brain into functioning properly

[the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not]

You know what else is harsh? The sheer cliff of a mountain, covered in snow, constantly battered by winds. Climbers often tell of how harsh mountains are, yes, but they also tell how beautiful they are. Even when it seems impossible, life still thrives on that mountain. Harsh and beautiful can coexist- they do so all the time in nature. And what are we if not an extension of nature?

hot take: opinions "german sounds harsh" and "german sounds beautiful" can coexist

[applepixls]

my heart goes out to episode 3 secret life grian because I'm kind of living it right now (watch out peeps, low-key a vent incoming!)

in a stream after the big win scar says he's not sure if he could do it again, the whole being alone and having no friends thing and i kind of know what he means. as a real person its hard not having friends because you have no emotional support or people to connect with etc etc etc. in game it was hard not having friends cause he couldn't lean on anyone for resources and always had to leave home and manufacture interactions for content rather than being able to multitask and go caving with a friend (like the "i left my diamonds right here!" bit in last life with grian and mumbo. its just a mundane task but the interaction has become iconic)

but we're talking about grian now. just- the state of this man. i related a little bit too much to him in this episode. he made the diagonal staircase creature the episode before and said it looked like his brain; mush. but then in episode 3 ended up getting the task to follow his old buddy from the previous season around and just having joel go "ok lol lame. this is awkward. we're not really best friends, he's just following me around" (disclaimer: i know its just for the bit and they're good friends irl) and then to have joels new best bud (aka lizzie his irl wife-) go "HAH! you got no fri-endsss~!" (this lives rent free in my head lol) and tease him the following is a compilation of moments i related to having recently drifted from a close friend of several years :) - watching joel bond with the mounders from afar and having him just go "one second grian, we're bonding" when just one season ago they would bond and say who was boogeyman or not at the beginning of episodes - finally thinking he's got a friend because of his task, joel saying he'll "let [him] know" when he takes damage and how much and "oh, you don't want me to hang out with you?" "no but you can go hang out at the top of the helter skelter alone if you want". thinking he had a friend to turn out he didn't. (its then still socially okay and funny that he refused to leave joel alone because its all a bit for the episode) - "he's my pet" "i think we're friends. i think we're best friends" the thinking we're best friends not being mutual - "one moment, grian" as grian's trying to talk to him and joels just doing his task. its the being put off as a second priority over other friends (made me weirdly frustrated despite knowing its all made up silly improv-d conflict between grown adults who are actually friends) - "heard something about a group of friends, maybe I'm now a part of it?" its socially kind of weird to do this irl but the. knowing a bunch of people you know are a like Friend Group and wondering why you're not included - "not even this enderman wants to be my friend! im gonna cry" not that relevant just felt silly and relatable - "am i just here to clarify rules; you guys don't want to be friends?" serving a functional purpose to a group, no ones actually finding you just for you and to chat and be friends (I've gotten messages from friends just needing me to settle arguments between other friends) - (after chanting fail at mumbo) "its just me, this is why i don't have friends" the finding yourself cringe at every turn and thinking wow this is why no one likes me. yknow as im typing this im thinking "wow this is why i have no friends, isn't it? im on tumblr using it as a diary rather than making friends and speaking to them about my issues or finding a therapist to work through my insecurities." - throughout the episode just hating everything he created and wanting to destroy it - the stairs and even later the egg (not relevant to having friends. well kind of but not really. but loneliness can make you act crazy its just the art block and frustration and disappointment in yourself and your failure to have a vision and properly bring it into fruition) - "i definitely won't back down on this, I'm committing fully to the egg" i have a bad habit of running away from friendships when i get scared of any slew of things or just don't like them anymore, hence why i no longer have friends :) - the fact each time he finds something, anything, to pull him away from his whole being alone thing and distract him for any amount of time he goes and dives full in but the conversation always comes back to how he has no friends. - feeling like you'll never be capable of creating and committing to long lasting healthy relationships like everyone else seems to be, settling for short term slightly toxic (joel literally didn't want to be his friend) ones just to have someone to be around. smth smth, "we accept the love we think we deserve."

i'd originally rewatched scar's secret life and thought it would make me sad cause he spent the whole time being alone but scar never made much of a big deal of being lonely and just made comments like "that's not right. how did the guy with no friends win?" feeling like he didn't deserve the win which echoes pearl in double life saying "this wasn't supposed to happen. i wasn't supposed to have friends" like she was scared of making bonds after being rejected by both martyn and scott at the beginning and like she was actually crazy and surely deserved them both leaving and didn't deserve friends but that pattern is an entirely other thing to dig into

when i first watched secret life as it was coming out (October to December 2023) i thought i was on good terms with this friend or was at least deluded and distracted enough to think that. i haven't rewatched grian's perspective since realizing our friendship was all falling apart at the beginning of this year (mostly in march) and then running away from some other friends and becoming a weird little egg on my own. its funny how grians made up improv'd loneliness can echo real loneliness, isn't it?

im very happy he got adopted by cleo and etho the next episode.

[t4tdanvis]

Dante selfcest rant 👀 👀

-@gendervoid-zane

im going to shove a couple (read: many) posts ive previously made about this here and then rant about it MORE bc im MENTALL ILL!!!!!

now AHEM

u see this could work with mcd dante ending up in the mys universe OR mys dante ending up in the mcd universe - or even they go back and forth between both!! either way could be very interesting and silly

with mcd dante ending up in the mys universe, it would be very funny to watch him try to figure out what the Fuck is going on bc mf has no idea what a phone or a computer is and is just so fucking confused. at first mys dante is more focused on going "hey wanna play video games!!!" to stop and process that mcd dante doesnt even know what a video game is. and then seeing mcd dantes confusion at Literally Everything he decides to sit down and try to explain things (unfortunately mys dante is Dumb - fortunately mcd dante is equally Dumb so mys dante going "this is a phone... it does... stuff.... you can call people!! idk how they made it able to do that tho dont ask me :D" is good enough for him)

on the other hand, with mys dante ending up in the mcd universe, itd be even Crazier because mys dante (who is used to having the internet and a car and big cities etc) is now stuck in the medieval era. thankfully mcd dante is here to help!! except he does a horrible job of helping bc he just goes "well im sure he'll figure everything out!" and then hands mys dante a sword - and is shocked when he ends up getting injured. mys dante doesnt mind because running around and throwing himself into danger is fun (especially when he gets to do that with a "friend" (read: boyfriend who he hasnt figured out hes dating yet))!! mys dante is also Struggling because adhd meds dont exist yet and his brain is completely fried and he can barely function until zoey figures out how to make potions thatll help. which leads to mys dante bouncing off the walls and mcd dante having to practically drag him to bed every night to get him to go to sleep, until mys dante Finally is able to function properly again

and, of course, the inherent romantic comedy of "i cant be in love with this other version of myself nope nope nope- oh god the other version of me is hot". the first time they kissed they stared at each other for a solid five minutes before mcd dante went "so uh.... yeah....." and mys dante just went "that was like... kissing myself. haha"

they are both Dumb and do not know how to function correctly around each other. they are mischievous silly little guys who cant stop getting into trouble and getting injured and doing stupid shit (but its ok bc their friends somehow keep them from getting themselves killed). and also they definitely tried to make out in a tree but ended up falling out of it and getting hurt. and at one point they tried to make out underwater and somehow didnt realize how stupid of an idea thatd be until they almost drowned. theyre gay and silly and dumb ur honor

this post was uhhhh way longer than id expected but thats ok ty for listening to me rant sorry it took a bit to type all this LOL

[starpros-sunshine]

迷い

[ohimsummer]

chill day ft. jean k.

18+ minors dni

spending a nice and relaxing day with your bf jean kirstein, where you both have the day off and can spend all of it doing nothing. and okay the day ends at 8pm but i ran out of ideas and i didn’t even mean for this to be this long lmao

content: fluff :], jean x reader, a few nicknames, some domesticity, fem! reader, suggestive themes, not proofread, pet names like princess and pretty girl

a/n: can y’all tell I don’t write often lmao...Went from writing my little pony fanfics to this, what a graduation

8 A.M

Jean is the first to awake, used to his work schedule that forces him to get up so early every morning. He has hearts in his eyes as they trace over your still sleeping form, the movement of your sides barely visible as they rise and fall with every breath you take. Jean feels unbelievably lucky to have you here beside him, bundled up underneath the covers and snuggled as closely as you could into his arms. He leaves a whisper of a kiss on your nose in an attempt not to rouse you from your slumber, and a soft chuckle falls from his lips when your face scrunches up anyway. He hugs you tighter and goes back to sleep.

9:30 A.M

An hour and half later, you’re the one to wake up. The first sight of the day is your lover’s face, eyes closed and cheek smushed against the pillow next to you. Your awkwardly maneuver your arms out of Jean’s embrace to stretch them above your head, and a yawn escapes your mouth. Despite your slight and careful movements so as not to disturb Jean, he re-adjusts in his sleep to pull you closer to him. You stare into his eyes which are barely open, only a sliver of his pupils visible, and lean in to plant a good morning kiss on his lips. 

“Good morning, Jeanie.”

10:00 A.M

You relented to Jean’s groggy pleads for you to stay in bed with him a little longer. You’re dazed and it’s still too early for your brain to function properly, especially without coffee or any sort of breakfast. Besides, staying in bed wrapped up in his arms sounds way more appealing than getting up right now, even if you are getting hungry. So for now, you two stay in bed, half-asleep and waiting for the other the finally put their foot down and decide that it’s time to start the day.

11:00 A.M

It’s Jean who finally decides to get up and be productive, but you make him regret his decision as soon as he begins sitting up. His legs swing over the side of the bed, but before he can stand up your arms are wrapped around his forearm with an iron grip. You let out a whine, a plea for him to come back and give you his warmth. Jean almost gives in to you, like he always does. He wants to lie back down into the safety of your arms and the pillows and the blankets, but overall decides it’s time you guys got up, if not because it’s probably unhealthy to be in bed all day, then because you both need to eat something.

“Come on, baby, I gotta get up. I’ll make something and bring it to you, promise.”

Your hold on Jean’s arm doesn’t let up, and you gently tug him back towards the covers. ”No, I don’t want it. Come back to bed.”

At that exact moment, your stomach growls. Jean poorly stifles a giggle and you fall back into bed quickly defeated.

12:00 P.M

It doesn’t take long for Jean to whip up a quick lunch for you both, which is a sandwich and fries. Jean was fully prepared to keep his promise and bring the food to the bedroom for you, but he’s pleasantly surprised to see you shuffling your way into the kitchen. 

“Hey there, pretty girl, I see you’re out of bed.” He flashes a grin your way as he sets the plates down on the kitchen table. Your lips are poked out in a pout and eyebrows are furrowed together. You continue your slow shuffle into the room until your reach your boyfriend, arms flying up to wrap around his torso and you bury your face into his chest. Your voice is muffled when you speak. “ ‘M tired. But I missed you and your handsome face.”

4:00 P.M

Most of the day is pretty uneventful. After you and Jean eat breakfast lunch, you guys find a home on the couch underneath more blankets. He lazily flips through channels for something to watch with you laying your full body on top of him, strands of hair in his face and arms firmly wrapped around his body. Jean’s free hand rubs up and down your back, sometimes stopping to rest in your hair or, when he wants a reaction out of you, on your ass accompanied with a slap or a light squeeze. 

“You’re not funny,” you say and turn your head to face him. Despite trying his best to hide it, there’s a hint of a smirk on Jean’s face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, baby” is his eventual reply. You get up to move to the other side of the couch, but he places a firm hand on your back. Your laziness takes over immediately and you flop back down onto Jean’s chest with a huge sigh, much to his amusement.

“Giving up already?” You don’t even have to look at him, you can hear the smirk on his face.

Another dramatic sigh leaves your lips. ”Yeah, I changed my mind, Jeanie-boy. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” You throw a mischievous glance his way, and suddenly you guys are right back where you started. 

5:00 P.M

Jean eventually grows bored of flipping through the same few channels, and he gives you the remote instead with new intentions to bother you. He makes a game out it: incessant kisses on the face, light jerks of your hair, pinches on your behind, and at some point his hands were tugging the hem of your shorts down a few inches, only to pull them right back up and pretend he’d never done it. If he really wanted a reaction, he’d let his hands roam your body, usually ending up somewhere between your legs, but then he’d quickly retract them and place them somewhere on your waist or back. It was driving you crazy, and he could tell. 

5:30 P.M 

You put up with Jean’s little game as long as you could, but it eventually got to be too much for you. You sat upright in his lap now, arms carelessly tossed around his neck and chest pressed against his own. Both of your tongues were down the other’s throat. Jean’s hands had finally stopped wandering, with one having a firm hold on your hip and the other busy between your legs. 

6:30 P.M

Both of you were exhausted. Articles of clothing from either of you were tossed all over the floor. Jean’s hair was a mess on top of his head and you were a mess, well, everywhere. Your lover stands up to go run a bath for you two and it feels like it’s a repeat of this morning. Your hands are quick to find Jean’s own hand, and he reassures you that he’ll be right back.

“Won’t take long, princess, I’ll be back in a sec.” He plants a few kisses on your hands and gently places them on your stomach. It indeed doesn’t take long, but to you it feels like forever. Your vision is blurry and you’re in a daze, but you still notice when Jean picks you up and carries you to your shared bathroom. The warm water feels pleasant against your skin, and it reminds you yet again of that morning when you were wrapped in Jean’s warm embrace. Your eyes are closed and it feels like you’re on a different planet. The faint sound of splashing water fills your ears as Jean gets into the tub behind you. You lean back immediately and imagine yourself melting into his skin. 

Jean leaves a kiss on the side of your forehead. ”Good girl, just relax. I’ll take care of you,” he mumbles into your hair. His breath tickles your ear, and the feeling makes your skin tingle with goosebumps. You feel yourself drift to sleep. 

8:00 P.M

You wake up and find yourself in you guys’ bedroom, sheets pulled up to your chin and pajamas adorning your body. There’s an indistinct smell dancing around your nostrils, but it smells delicious. ‘Jean must have cooked dinner’ runs through your head as your body seems to run on autopilot. Your legs seem to toss themselves over the edge of the bed and you swaddle yourself up in a forgotten blanket resting over the back of a chair. You stumble your way after the smell of food and of course find yourself in the kitchen. Jean is nowhere in sight. You wander over to the stove and glance into the pot placed upon the surface. Heat radiates from it, so it couldn’t have been too long since Jean made it. 

You call out for him. ”Jean?” 

There’s no answer, but you can hear the TV in the living room and assume that he’s in there. You assume right and find Jean splayed out on the couch, head lolled over his shoulder and the remote having been discarded halfway beneath the sofa. The room is dark, and you like the way the colours on the TV illuminate his sleeping face. You opt not to wake him, and instead curl up underneath his limp arms. You toss the blanket over you two the best you could even though it leaves one of Jean’s feet exposed. 

You place a last kiss on his lips, and are surprised to notice a small smile form on his face despite still being asleep. 

“Goodnight, Jean.”

[morganaspendragonss]

´till death do us part

@911lonestarangstweek day 4 - m is for...mcd, mourning

if you saw my posts about the 'crying fic'... this is it

thanks to liz and @halsteadmarchs for the beta!

ao3 | 5.5k | major character death, hurt/comfort, mourning, non-linear narrative, car accidents, hopeful ending

This is a mistake.

It’s been a long time since Carlos last did this, but not long enough at the same time. His friends would disagree with him—they tell him he needs to get back in the game, and it’s well-meaning, but they don’t get it. They don’t know how hard these past few years have been for him.

They don’t know what it’s like to lose the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with; they don’t know what it’s like to go from being engaged one day to alone the next. In fact, there’s only one person Carlos knows who even has a hope of understanding, and he really doesn’t appreciate the irony that it’s the one person he’s guaranteed to never see again.

It’s not that he meant to turn himself into a recluse after it happened; he knows that’s not what he would want for him.

Thing is, Carlos isn't sure that he gets to have an opinion anymore, since he was the one who left. Carlos doesn’t blame him for what happened—that would be stupid—but sometimes, sometimes, he just gets so damn angry at him.

(he always feels guilty for it after, which is equally as stupid as the anger. there’s no one left for him to direct it at, after all)

Carlos sighs, shaking his head as he steps into the bar. He doesn’t want to be here—he wouldn’t be here, but Michelle had threatened to make a special trip back to Austin specifically to kick his ass if he didn’t at least give this a try.

This, being the blind date his friends had insisted he go on. Technically, he could leave and still not be lying when he tells Michelle he went—he is in the bar, after all—but Carlos has never liked the idea of standing someone up, no matter the circumstances.

So here he is. Alone at a bar, nursing a lukewarm beer, and wishing he were anywhere else.

Someone slides into the seat next to him, and Carlos barely gets a second to prepare himself before he’s met with a winning smile and sparkling green eyes.

God, why did they have to be green?

“Hey,” the guy says, still smiling. “Carlos, right? Nice to meet you. I’m Domenic.”

*

Carlos is still trying to catch his breath, his head thumping back against the wall of the bathroom stall they’ve ended up in, when lips brush his ear, hot breath sending electricity down his spine.

“I’m TK, by the way.” The whisper is rough, a smirk laced into it, like TK knows exactly what he’s done to him.

And Carlos is so far from fully-functioning that the only response he can come up with is a breathy, “I know.”

TK pulls back, his brows furrowing though there’s a wry quirk to his lips. “Didn’t take you for a Star Wars fan, but okay.”

Now it’s Carlos’s turn to frown as his addled brain struggles to put together TK’s thought process there. “What?”

“Never mind.”

Well. This took a turn. Carlos has no idea what’s going on, but there is something in the back of his mind that tells him he must have sounded like a creep, telling this guy he’s pretty much only just met that he already knows his name. He gestures lamely towards TK in explanation. “Your turn-out coat at the scene the other night. I thought it probably stood for something but then one of your team—Marwani, I think?—called you. So.”

Carlos shrugs, embarrassment quickly catching up with him, which seems absurd given what they just did. Then again, it’s been a long time since he’s done anything like this; he’s more of a wine-and-dine kind of guy than the type to make out with a near stranger in a less-than-sanitary bathroom.

But there’s something about TK Strand that has Carlos wanting to know everything about him.

And if everything starts here, well. He’s more than happy to take it.

Thankfully, TK seems to pick up on the sudden awkwardness in the stall. He takes a couple of steps back until he’s leaning against the opposite wall, which doesn’t really put that much space between them, but Carlos appreciates it all the same.

“So, do I get a name, or…?”

The question has Carlos flushing all over again, turning a bright red when he sees TK’s smile. He clears his throat and smiles, trying not to wince. “Carlos.”

“Carlos,” TK repeats, dragging the syllables out like he’s testing the sound of them on his tongue. Carlos shivers a little, his breath catching in his throat at the small smile that spreads across TK’s face.

Then a phone is being thrust in his hand, unlocked and opened on the Add contact page. “Put your number in,” TK says. “In case you ever, you know. Feel like doing this again.”

A thrill runs down Carlos’s spine at the thought that TK wants to do this again. Maybe he’s not the only one who feels this connection. Maybe…

Well. It’s too soon for that. But as he types in his number, Carlos can’t help but wonder where, exactly, this road might lead.

*

His house is quiet when he gets home. It’s a familiar kind of quiet, one that’s lain over the place like a blanket ever since that day three years ago. Carlos has gotten used to it over time, and he thinks that maybe it’s eased a little—but only a little.

Things haven’t changed much over the years. TK’s stuff still decorates the house, not as much as it used to, but Carlos hadn’t been able to bring himself to remove the stuffed bear that sits on the chair by their bed, or the plastic duck TK had insisted they have in the bathroom for ‘the vibes’, or the hand-sewn heart a little girl whose parents TK had saved had gifted him, which hangs proudly in their front window.

And the pictures; Carlos refuses to take the pictures down. The one sitting on his nightstand had been turned over for a long time after the accident, but now he can’t imagine going to bed each night without seeing it. It’s from their engagement party, a candid captured by Evie, a professional photographer in the making according to Tommy.

Carlos is inclined to agree—the photo, showing him and TK looking at each other, wide smiles on both their faces, is his favourite thing in the world.

His phone rings, making him jump. Carlos sighs heavily when he sees Michelle’s name flash up on FaceTime and he briefly considers declining, but there’s no way she’d be deterred so easily.

He takes a second to get himself together, then answers, plastering a smile on his face. “Hey chica.”

Michelle doesn’t waste a second in getting to the point. “So,” she says, leaning forward and grinning, “how’d it go?”

“It went.”

Her smile falters and she frowns, scrutinising him. “Did you even go?”

“Yes.” Carlos purses his lips, not wanting to get into it anymore, but Michelle is insistent and he’s too tired to make excuses right now. “His name is Domenic, he’s nice, I’m not seeing him again.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Carlos.” Michelle sighs, her voice going quiet. “It’s been three years.”

“That’s not a long time.”

“I know.”

“I still dream about him, ‘Chelle,” Carlos cuts in, sudden tears overwhelming him. “I still—I still think about what I could have done differently to save him, I still imagine the future we could have had. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop. I don’t know if I can stop.”

“When Iris disappeared—”

“It’s not the same,” he snaps, harsher than he means to. “You always had that hope, right? Everyone was telling you Iris was dead, but you always believed that she would come back. And she did, and I am so happy about that, I am, but guess what, Michelle? TK is dead. He’s dead. I’m never gonna see him again—in fact, the last time I did see him, it was when his body was lying in a morgue, and he was so cold and so still and so—so not TK that I could barely believe it was him.

“But it was, because he’s dead. It’s not the same.”

He’s properly crying by the time he finishes his speech, and Michelle has tears in her eyes too. Carlos feels a little guilty now, but he can’t bring himself to be fully sorry for what he said. Still, Michelle looks crushed, and Carlos can’t lose his best friend.

One more loss would kill him, he thinks.

“Michelle, listen—”

“It’s fine, Carlos,” she interrupts, swiping a hand under her eyes. “You… You’re right. It’s not the same. I’ll just. I’ll leave you alone now. I’m sorry the date didn’t work out.”

Then she’s gone, and Carlos is alone again, the weight of it settling uncomfortably on his shoulders.

*

Their first real date is painfully awkward, reminiscent of covert high school meet-ups with boys in the nearby diners, or like that one time Carlos tried using a dating app. That had been an experience he’d wanted to forget, but now he finds himself recalling it in horrific detail as he and TK sit on opposite sides of a table, a plate of limp fries slowly cooling between them.

“So—”

“I was thinking—”

They both speak at the same time, and an embarrassed flush rises on Carlos’s cheeks. He swallows past the lump in his throat and gestures to TK, barely able to look him in the eyes. “You should go first.”

TK laughs and shakes his head. “I was about to tell you the same thing. Since when have things been this awkward between us? We fucked on the floor of your front room about a week after meeting, surely we should be well past this stage by now.”

He has a point.

Carlos laughs too and finally works up the courage to meet TK’s gaze. “I mean, it’s not like we were doing much talking back then.”

“Things are a lot simpler without clothes,” TK agrees, a suggestive lilt to his tone and, somehow, it’s all that’s needed to break the tense silence they’d previously been suffering in. Carlos grabs a fry, grimacing at the grease that instantly coats his fingers, and points it at TK.

“Cool it, Strand,” he warns. “You aren’t going to find it that easy to seduce me anymore.”

TK grins, his eyes sparkling. “Oh, we’ll see about that, Officer.”

*

Carlos is surprised when he wakes up the next morning to a text from Domenic.

Hey, it reads. Sorry about last night. I know that you’re not into me or whatever and that’s cool, but I like you. Do you think we could maybe still be friends?

He sighs and drops his phone onto his bare chest, arm flopping onto the other side of the bed. It’s funny, he thinks idly; before TK, he’d tended to sleep closer to the middle and it had never bothered him. Now, it feels weird to break from the way things used to be—in Carlos’s head, the left side is still TK’s, and the right his.

He knows what Domenic’s text implies. ‘Let’s be friends and then we can see how it goes’. Carlos could tell him now that it’s not going anywhere and save them both the trouble, but he kind of...wants a friend.

It sounds pathetic, even to his own ears, but all his friends are either fellow cops, the 126, or Michelle, who’s in another state. And Domenic was nice. So, really, what’s the harm?

Twenty minutes later, they have plans to meet at a coffee shop.

Ten minutes after that, Carlos arrives.

*

Carlos startles as TK’s arms suddenly slip around his waist, his chin pressing into Carlos’s shoulder. He quickly relaxes into the hold, covering TK’s hands with his own, but TK isn’t fooled.

“Where did you go?” he murmurs, breath tickling Carlos’s neck.

“Nowhere,” Carlos answers. “I was just...thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well…” He hesitates, biting his lip, then spins to face TK, letting their still-joined hands swing in the minute space between them. “This is crazy, right? Not, like, bad crazy—well, a little bit bad crazy; our last place did burn down—but all of this. Getting a house together. Three bedrooms. All of it. It’s crazy.”

TK grins, the little frown that had emerged at Carlos’s first words quickly melting away. “Completely,” he agrees. He kisses Carlos briefly, then steps away, breaking their hands apart to tread a slow circuit around their new front room. Carlos watches him fondly, somehow falling even more in love with him.

“You know,” TK says suddenly, his eyes roving around the empty space, “I’ve never actually done this before.”

“What do you mean?”

He waves his hands, gesturing at the flaking paint on the walls and the lack of furniture. “Decorated a house. I had an apartment in New York but that came fully-furnished and I didn’t exactly have a ton of stuff to add. And then when I moved here with my dad, I didn’t care too much about how the house looked, and you know how my dad is about interior design. It’s a little...scary, thinking about doing it now, with you.”

Carlos’s eyes widen, his heart clenching at the words. “Do you… Do you not want to do this?” he asks, half-dreading the answer. He’d thought they were both on the same page here, but what if… What if…

“What?” TK frowns, crossing the room in three quick strides to meet Carlos. “Babe, no, of course I want to. It’s a good kind of scary, I promise.”

“You sure?” Carlos scans his boyfriend’s face, searching for any hint of doubt or anxiety. But there is none, and TK just smiles, kissing Carlos’s cheek.

“A thousand percent,” he says. “It’ll be fun.”

(‘Fun’ isn’t the word Carlos would give to what came next. ‘Frustrating’, possibly. Or ‘exhausting’. Maybe even ‘interminable’.)

(But, at the end of it all, they have a home. Their home. And Carlos can see their future taking shape before his very eyes.)

*

Domenic grins when he sees Carlos approaching him, and a part of Carlos regrets even agreeing to come. But he can hardly turn around now, so he forces a smile and slides into the chair next to him, extending a hand to shake. Domenic sends him a strange look at that, but obliges anyway, shaking Carlos’s hand with a surprising firmness.

“Hey,” he says, still smiling.

“Hey.” Carlos sighs, taking in Domenic’s bright eyes and warm, hopeful face, and decides, fuck it. “Look, before you say anything, I just want you to know that I’m not looking for anything right now. My friends set me up on that date with you—and it’s not that I don’t think you’re a good guy, I honestly do, but—”

“Carlos.” Domenic appears to be fighting off laughter, though he’s not entirely successful in it, a brief chuckle slipping past his lips. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know it sounds hard to believe, but I really am okay with being friends. Not that I wouldn’t mind seeing where it goes, but…”

He trails off, seeing what must be obvious doubt on Carlos’s face. “Look, I’m kind of new in town, alright? I don’t really know many people around here, and I’m just...fuck, man. I’m lonely. So if you wanna be friends, then that’s incredible and more than enough for me. I swear.”

And Domenic is looking at him so earnestly that Carlos really has no choice but to believe him. He feels himself flushing a bright red, embarrassed at how self-centred and narcissistic he must have seemed, and a stammered apology is halfway out of his mouth when Domenic reaches over and lays a firm hand on his arm.

“It’s no big deal,” he says, patting once before drawing back. “I do want to ask, though, if you don’t mind? Why did you come on the date if you didn’t want to? Not many guys would.”

Carlos huffs a laugh. “My friends think I’m turning into a hermit. It’s an assessment that I...wouldn’t disagree with. Let’s just say you’re not the only one looking for a friend.”

Domenic’s eyebrows quirk up in interest. “Oh? Anything to do with your unwillingness to date? I mean, a guy like you—it’s hard to imagine that you don’t have men practically throwing themselves at you. Maybe even literally. How come you’re still single? Is there...someone else?”

Carlos’s whole body tenses at the question, his gaze dropping to his hands and his heart in his shoes. Tension lies thick in the air, and he feels the sudden urge to flee, but he’s rooted to his chair, stuck under Domenic’s scrutiny.

“Shit,” Domenic says, voice hushed. “Carlos, I—I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to… Fuck, forget I said anythin—”

“I was engaged.”

Carlos hadn’t meant to say it. He doesn’t know why he did. It’s just… He hasn’t really talked about TK properly with anyone in the three years since; his friends were all TK’s friends too, and they all knew him—knew them.

This is the first time he’s actually spending time with someone who didn’t know, and it’s not freeing exactly, but it’s the first time he feels free to speak about TK the way he wants to, without anyone else’s memories looming over it.

“I’m not anymore, obviously,” he laughs wryly, finally managing to look back up at Domenic, finding shock on his face. “It was… It ended.”

Domenic’s mouth opens and closes several times before he’s able to pull himself together enough to speak. “Who called it off?” he asks—which was not what Carlos was expecting. “Because if it was him, man. He really missed out there.”

Carlos hesitates a moment, then answers, “It was him. But it wasn’t on purpose.” He breathes out shakily, swallowing hard. “He died a month before the wedding.”

*

Carlos smirks as he hears a groan at his back, glancing over his shoulder to find TK pretending to bang his head on the table. “Having fun, babe?”

Another groan. “Let’s just elope. Let’s get married in some random courthouse by some random Texas official. That way we wouldn’t have to figure out stuff like a seating plan or—or what kind of cake knife to use. I mean, babe.” TK sends a pleading look in Carlos’s direction, and Carlos can’t help but laugh, cruel though it feels when TK’s wounded expression just gets worse.

“I’m pretty sure my mother and your dad would kill us if we did that,” he points out, causing TK’s mouth to twist.

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“No, you don’t.” Grinning, Carlos turns back to his chopping, except, when he reaches out for the next ingredient, he only meets empty space. “Mierda. TK, babe, can you run to the store? I forgot the chilis.”

“Can’t you just leave them out?”

There’s a hopeful note to TK’s tone, but Carlos stands firm—his cooking is the one thing he’s able to resist TK for. “You’d think you’d be used to spices by now,” he comments. “And the answer is no; go on. You’ll barely even taste them.”

TK mutters his disagreement, but he gets up and leaves anyway. Carlos watches him go, shaking his head fondly before returning to dinner. Technically, he could leave the chilis out, but he’s been brought up to consider even the mere suggestion as sacrilege, and he’s not planning on letting TK persuade him otherwise any time soon.

Twenty minutes later, he’ll regret that decision more than anything else in the world.

*

“Carlos, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to—”

“I want to. As long as you’re okay with it; I don’t want to just unload all over you.”

“It’s okay, I promise. What are friends for?”

*

Carlos frowns, checking the clock. TK should have been back by now; the store is only a five minute drive from their place, and surely he would have texted if he was going to be delayed. He’s about to call him himself when his phone starts ringing, TK’s name flashing up on the screen.

He sighs in relief, answering the call. “Did you get lost or something?”

Silence.

“TK?”

Nothing again, and Carlos’s panic starts to skyrocket. “TK!”

And, this time, he gets an answer.

“C-Carlos.”

Carlos’s heart drops into his stomach at the rasp of TK’s voice. He sounds like he can barely breathe—in fact, if Carlos strains to listen, he can hear stilted, ragged breaths coming through the phone’s speakers. TK is hurt, probably seriously, and, fuck, it was Carlos who sent him out in the first place, this is his fault, he—

“Carlos, please.”

He breaks out of his spiral and clutches his phone tight to his ear, racing around the house to get his shoes on and grab his keys. “TK, where are you? I’ll find you, I promise I will, and you’re gonna be just fine, okay?”

TK doesn’t speak for a few seconds, before, “No.”

Carlos screeches to a halt. “What?”

“I don’t—I can’t tell you where I am. I don’t know. And there’s—there’s no time. No— Someone found me, they called 9-1-1, but they won’t—there’s no time.”

“TK, don’t you dare give up, okay, don’t you dare talk like that. You just need to focus on my voice and stay awake for a little while longer and then they’ll get you to a hospital where they’ll fix you up. You’ll be good as new right in time for the wedding.”

“The wedding. Carlos, I—”

“And if this is your way of getting out of making all the decisions, then it’s a little bit over the top, you know? I mean, point proven and all that, but you could have just told me.” He’s getting hysterical now, he can feel it, standing in the middle of his front room trying to keep his fiancé alive and talking when he’s god-knows-where in god-knows-what condition.

But, as always, TK is there to centre him again. “Carlos, stop, please.”

Carlos doesn’t know if it’s the way TK’s voice is getting quieter and quieter, his energy obviously flagging, or if it’s his pleading tone, but he’s suddenly struck completely still. He can’t move a muscle, every sense tuned into whatever is happening on the other end of the phone.

“I don’t—I don’t want to spend the time we have left lying to each other,” TK eventually says, his words riding on broken breaths now. “I don’t want to leave you, but I think… No, I know that I have to now. I’m s-so sorry. I wish… I wish we…” A gasp, and a horrific cough that sounds like it’s tearing TK apart. “I love you.”

Carlos doesn’t get a chance to reply before there’s a loud thud, and it doesn’t take him long to figure out what caused it.

TK dropped the phone.

TK passed out.

It’s salt in the wound when, seconds later, Carlos hears the wail of sirens approaching the scene.

*

There are tears dripping down his face as he tells Domenic of the sheer, gut-wrenching panic and fear of those next few minutes.

How he’d been unable to put the phone down, instead listening as the screech of machinery and the raised voices of firefighters and paramedics drifted through the speakers.

How the noises had dimmed when they extracted TK, and how Carlos had strained to listen as the paramedics began to work on him.

And how, when he’d heard those final words, his world had come crashing down.

“I’m calling it. McRae, radio it in to the ME’s office.”

*

This isn’t happening.

Carlos cannot be sitting in his parents’ backyard, at his fiancé’s wake, in the same place and wearing the same suit that he was supposed to be getting married in a month from now.

He—

Fuck.

Carlos presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and curls in on himself, barely suppressing a moan of agony at the pain in his chest. He’s distantly aware of everyone’s gazes on him, but he can’t stop this tidal wave of emotion anymore than he can turn back time and change the fact that TK is dead and that Carlos failed him.

TK died all alone, and Carlos didn’t get the chance to say goodbye or tell him that he loved him. He couldn’t even bring himself to speak at the funeral—the one thing, the last thing he could do for the love of his life.

Instead, when it was his turn to speak, he’d been frozen in his chair, eyes locked on the coffin—(and, fuck, TK was in there, that was TK, fuckfuckfuck)—and Judd had had to take over.

Carlos hadn’t heard a word he'd said, though he’s sure it was beautiful, and everything that TK deserved.

Everything that Carlos couldn’t give him.

He failed him, he failed, he—

“No,” a hushed voice says, warm arms pulling him into a tight hug, and Carlos must have been talking aloud without realising because the voice keeps reassuring him. “You didn’t fail, sweetheart, you didn’t, I promise. You were there for him at the end and that’s all that matters; that he wasn’t alone when it happened. I know it hurts but it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay.”

Carlos tenses, wanting to scream at whoever’s holding him because how could anything possibly be okay? But when he pulls out of their grip, he sees that it’s Gwyn, her eyes red and cheeks tear-stained, and all Carlos can do is fall apart in his not-quite-mother-in-law’s arms.

She keeps whispering that it’s okay, and Carlos knows that it’s as much for her own benefit as for his.

*

“Hey sweetheart,” Carlos whispers, getting out of his car and leaning against the closed door. He always comes here when he wants to remember TK; it is where they said goodbye to him after all. And it’s the place where they had so many important moments—it’s where they became official, and where they finally spoke openly and completely with each other for the first time, and where they got engaged.

It’s their place, ridiculous as it might sound.

“Remember that night?” he asks, even now feeling a little self-conscious talking to the air. “I made you a picnic and we came out here to eat it and you somehow managed to get chocolate on your nose from the chocolate-covered strawberries.” Carlos chuckles, then sighs wistfully. “You were so beautiful. I had this whole plan to propose to you, but one look at your face and that damn bit of chocolate and I forgot the entire thing.

“I just blurted it out, right there and then. ‘Marry me, Tyler Kennedy’, and you said yes, and it was perfect.”

He blinks furiously, tears beginning to blur his vision. “I thought… But it was too perfect, I guess. Perfect things never last, and since I was never going to leave you, the universe forced you to leave me.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. It’s nothing you don’t already know, and I’m not sure if I even believe that you can hear me. I never used to, back when we were together, but things change when suddenly the one who’s gone is someone you love. I’d give anything, Ty, anything to talk to you again, so I’m here.

“You know… Just in case.”

His hands tremble and he swallows reflexively against the pain and grief crawling up his throat. He reaches inside the car through the window and grabs the bouquet of flowers he brought with him off the passenger seat.

It’s the same one he always brings whenever he comes out here—red camellias, hydrangeas, blue salvias, and forget-me-nots—all flowers that have meaning to them and their relationship. Hydrangeas for understanding; it had been the first flower TK had given him, his way of saying thanks for sticking around even after their disastrous beginnings.

The camellia, Carlos had gifted TK one anniversary. It means ‘you’re a flame in my heart’, which TK always was, always, and Carlos had found it a little funny too, given TK’s background. TK had loved it, and had made sure to tell Carlos in as many ways as he could think of that he felt the same.

The salvias were something they both did, often and at random, sometimes with no particular reason. Just whenever they wanted each other to know they were thinking of them—though, that was something they knew anyway.

Carlos had added the forget-me-nots himself after… After it had happened. It’s a reassurance, both to him and to TK, that he’s not forgetting; that he never will.

That he can’t, even now, three years down the line.

On shaky legs, he walks over to the tree a little distance away, laying the bouquet between the roots almost reverently. Carlos stares down at them long after he’s straightened back up, leaning against the tree, and he allows the memories and the pain to overwhelm him for a moment.

“Can you believe it’s been three years?” he asks the empty air, shaking his head. “I swear, I still miss you like it was yesterday; it doesn’t seem real that I haven’t seen you or kissed you or heard your voice in three whole years.

“I’m going to see your dad later. He’s… He’s doing okay, all things considered. He misses you—we all do—but I think he tries to hide it, like he has to be the strong one for everyone else. Don’t worry though, Ty, we’re looking after him. Making sure he doesn’t, you know. Do anything stupid.

“Your mom helps out a lot too, her and Enzo and Isaac. God, TK you’d be so proud of Isaac now—he’s started school, making loads of friends, and he’s just… He’s such a good kid. I wish you could see him; he was so young when you— You’d be amazed at how big he’s getting. And, hey, we’re making sure that he knows who his big brother was, so...so don’t worry about that either.”

Carlos hesitates before continuing; it feels weird to talk about Domenic here. He doesn’t need to, he knows—technically, there’s nothing even going on between them, though Carlos couldn’t deny how good it had felt when Domenic had hugged him when they parted ways after coffee. But there’s been a weird lump of guilt sitting in his stomach since that first date at the bar, and Carlos figures that TK deserves to know about it.

Even if he’s three years dead and probably can’t hear any of this.

“I met someone, you know,” he says, trying to keep his tone light. “It’s not like that, we’re just friends, but I think… I think maybe it could be like that? Maybe? I don’t know, Ty. I thought I’d never be able to love anyone in that way ever again, but Domenic is so kind and sweet and he makes me wonder if there’s a chance.

“I’m terrified. It’s—It’s stupid and selfish, but I’m so scared of getting hurt again, of having to go through what I went through with you again. Not that I blame you for the accident, it’s just… I can’t do it again. I can’t.

“God, even considering this feels like I’m betraying you. I do hate you a little for that; you still own so much of my heart and I’m never getting it back, whereas all I have of you are your hoodies and your mugs and that goddamn stuffed bear. Why did you have to go and ruin me like that, huh? Why, TK?”

He’s almost shouting now, but the question fades unanswered into the air, and Carlos’s anger vanishes with it. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t… I don’t hate you. I love you so much, and I always will, but I think maybe it’s time for me to let some of that go. I can’t carry on like this for much longer; you understand that, right?”

And maybe he’s imagining it, or maybe it’s just a coincidence, but the breeze picks up a little then, gently ruffling Carlos’s curls, and it feels like… It feels like peace.

He closes his eyes, and for a moment, it’s like he can feel TK there, like he never left at all.

I know, it feels like, his voice ringing loud and clear in Carlos’s head. I love you.

“I love you, too,” Carlos whispers, opening his eyes. TK isn’t there, of course, but, somehow, he doesn’t feel so empty anymore.

Then, with one final glance at the flowers, Carlos turns and walks away, his heart feeling lighter than it has in three years.

[sunaswife]

A Suna Rintarou series

Summary: Suna was the best boyfriend you could ask for, after fighting with your inner demons that screamed you were ugly, worthless, and annoying. You finally decided to go the next step with your boyfriend, only to find out it was all a game.

A/N: PART 12 Oof my brain is fried but this is a small chapter I made in about an hour hehehe so enjoy :) I have the next two chapters in the works atm and I’m excited for whats going to come! I find it funny when I can’t choose on what to write and I have multiple ideas, I flip a coin. Deadass. Lmao I wasn’t gonna have a sequel and I was gonna end this shit with angst but I flipped a coin and it said to make a sequel so I’m working on that too! My friends know what’s gonna go down and if they’re screaming I know y’all are most likely gonna scream too 😌ANYWAYS ON TO THE STORY

Warnings: underaged drinking, smut, guys talking badly about women, heartbreak, messed up shit that you shouldn’t do and a bit of fluff if you squint

Disc six-part two: Miya Atsumu 🏐

A/N: idk how y’all do fake text messages so enjoy this text convo lmao EDIT: @m-i-n-t-y-fresh made me these convos so I deleted the crappy one I had prior lol. Tysm 🖤🤍

You giggled at your boyfriends response. Yeah he’s definitely gonna punish you when you come back. “Ooo kinky~” you heard next to your ear and you yelped. “What the fuck Tooru-Senpai. Don’t scare me like that!” You put your hand on your chest. “This Rin-rin seems like a total dom. you’re such a sub it makes sense that you’re wrapped right around his finger. Say. How far have you guys gone?” He asked and your face turned red. “None of your business shittykawa. She’s old enough to make her own decisions.” Iwa-Senpai said and you slightly gave him a thankful smile.

“But if he pressures you into doing something you don’t wanna do then he needs to watch out because you’re going to kick his ass.” Iwa patted your back and you nodded. “Iwa you’re so vulgar.” He muttered and you snickered. They haven’t changed at all.

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely

I have nobody for my own

“Can you stop playing that? You’ve been playing it all day.” Aran told Atsumu who layed on the floor with Suna and Osamu. They all looked at the ceiling feeling empty and lonely. The squad was not complete so they couldn’t properly function. “I’m just trying to think of Y/N’s smile. She’s not here so I can’t have my daily dose of serotonin.” He said earning a smack from Suna. “Dude seriously you gotta shut the fuck up. Those comments you keep to yourself. Not in front of the boyfriend of the girl you think you have a chance with.” Suna hissed and sat up. “Damn chill it’s just a joke.” Atsumu mumbled but Suna wasn’t pleased. He just gave a look to Atsumu.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not make those comments outloud. Do you want Y/N to report you for sexual harassment? Do you want to start an issue with the team because you can’t keep it in your pants and wanna take away someone who’s in a relationship with your teammate?” Kita scolded and Atsumu shut up. Osamu sighed and shook his head. ‘Tsumu is a fucking idiot.

“She’s calling.” Suna freaked out as he looked at his phone. He pressed the answer button and put it to his ear. “Hey princess~” he said lowly and all suave but the team snickered, he’s such a simp. Atsumu stood up unamused and walked to the restroom.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

Why is he acting like this?

Atsumu looked at his reflection and he saw his dirty blonde hair, his thick eyebrows. His small mustache that was forming. He needed a shave. “What’s wrong with you dude.” He whispered to himself.

Why do I keep feeling like this. Atsumu wondered. It’s not fair. Why does Suna get the girl? Why does he get to love her? Cuddle her? Spoil her? Be there for her. Make her moan? Why is he in love with her? Why can’t Suna be in love with somebody else? What does she see in Suna? He’s a lazy fuck who has a shitty sense of humor and plays Minecraft all night. His memes are stupid and he’s not even that good looking. What do you see in him? He’s so quiet and deadpanned, he always seems uninterested and bored.

But when he looks at her his eyes are brighter, he smiles more, he’s more determined during practice and games. He even talks more, and you understand. And if you don’t you don’t mind listening to him explain.

He felt a pain in his stomach at the thought of you kissing Suna the first time he announced you were both together. He then thought about your smile and your smirk when you challenged him. He remembered the time you stayed late with him to practice Jump floats because he was shit and you were an expert. Suna said he was leaving but secretly waited outside just so Atsumu wouldn’t have to walk you home because surprisingly you lived ridiculously close to him and Suna didn’t want Atsumu to know where you lived.

He remembered the late night tutor sessions and when you would sit across from him. The dining table was small and your smooth leg would touch his but you would apologize and moved your legs.

He thought he only wanted you for your body and innocence but it turns out that he was experiencing the feeling of unrequited love and he doesn’t know how he’ll be able to survive if he sees you kiss Suna one more time.

Is this what his fans feel? If so he feels bad for them.

This feeling fucking sucks.

Previously

Up next

Masterlist

A/N: thanks for over 350 followers!! I didn’t even notice since I don’t care about my follow count but I just wanted to say that I do appreciate it!

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @tpwkatsumu @ohshirabu @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff

[ahopelessromantic]

31% ➳ S. Reid

Pairing: Spencer x neutral! Reader (if I missed something please tell me!)

Word count: 2,4k

Warnings: Suggestive content, Spencer and reader really have the hots for each other

The nature of your friendship with Reid has been flirtatious from the start. So flirtatious that the team thinks it’s all a joke... right? (A/N: Please don’t ask me what this is. I wrote this in one sitting while suffering from PMS, I don’t even know anymore.)

“Look at that walk.” Morgan chuckled to Emily for everyone but especially you to hear. You rolled your eyes, yet couldn’t help the smug grin on your face. Like girls in high school ready to hear the newest gossip your two colleagues and closest friends leaned over your desk. “You, sweetie, got laid.” You let out a happy sigh and leaned back in your chair. Last time you had been this relaxed had been… god, you couldn’t even remember it.

“What’s their name?” Emily grinned, stealing a sip of coffee from your mug. “And do they have a brother? Sister? Cousin?” You lifted your brow. “A respectable, decent human being like me doesn’t kiss and tell. But it’s a he. And he’s all mine.” Both Morgan and Emily lifted their eyebrows in surprise. “(Y/N)? Getting territorial? We love to see it.” Morgan teased. You squinted at him. “You know what? I loved flaunting my post-coital bliss in front of you, but quite frankly I’m starting to feel attacked now, so I’ll go hang out with Garcia.” Emily feigned a pout. “Come on! At least give us some details!” You just winked at her after getting up from your seat and disappeared down the hallway. On the way to Penelope’s office, you didn’t miss Spencer’s searing hot look on you, a hint of the same smug smile on his lips that had been on yours when you had entered the BAU this morning.

“(Y/N), this is bad. We’re breaking at least three policies just by being here together right now. Also, relationships between colleagues are rarely a good idea.” You chuckled and pressed another kiss to Spencer’s neck. “Then why does it feel so good, Spence? And, actually, workplace hookups are way more common thank you think. About 31% of them even end up in marriage.” “Are you using my own weapons against me right now? That’s hot.” He murmured and pulled you further into his lap. You looked down into his eyes, your gaze dropping to his lips momentarily before wandering back up again. There was just something about him that made you feel like you were on fire, as if an electric current ran between the two of you. You bit your lip and played with his tie. “You have to know how I feel whenever you’re spitting your facts at least once, too.” Your eyes met again, and then your lips were on his.

Spencer and you had gotten along like a house on fire from the day you had joined the BAU. Somehow the two of you had clicked right into place after just a short period of Spencer warming up to you. Before anyone could even tell what was happening you had become the team’s new dynamic duo. Your sharp wit matched his, and what he was too shy to say you spat right out. And that everlasting tension between you had been there from the beginning, too. It had almost cost you your sanity, the way the air in a room would change as soon as Spencer was in it, the way his mere presence made you want to either pounce on him or rip your lashes out. For a while, it had been enough to just bury that attraction where everyone could see it, in plain sight beneath heaps and heaps of slightly inappropriate flirting. Spencer would blurt out how your new heels gave you just the right height to make out with him, you would blurt out how you would like to see him in his glasses and nothing else. Everyone had taken your remarks as jokes, and you had always laughed with them. But there had never been anything funny about the shocks of electricity jolting through your fingers whenever your hands accidentally met or about the warmth seeping through you whenever you slept propped up against each other on the jet. All that tension had unloaded one day after an unusually hard case. Spencer and you had been taken hostage by an Unsub on a psychotic break, and it had only been due to luck and good timing that you had made it out alive. After debriefing, you had found yourself in an abandoned hallway of whatever precinct you had been in, and then your eyes had met. The look in them had been the same. Slightly frazzled, pupils still widened from the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You had both been so high on the incredibleness of still being alive that suddenly, you had decided to just fucking do what your body had been telling you to do for so long already. “I think I’m going to kiss you now.” You had breathed out, barely audible. Spencer had leaned against the wall behind him and lifted his chin as if he had been daring you to do it. “Okay.” He had whispered back. And then your lips had met in what you could swear had been the best kiss of your life. Your hands had tangled themselves in his hair as if they had been supposed to be there all along, and his hands had fit in the groove of your waist as if they had been made for it. Maybe you had both been made for each other.

“It looks like the unsub is citing the karma sutra.” JJ’s gaze wandered over the book excerpts up on the case board. “A sexual sadist maybe?” Spencer shook his head almost excitedly, a familiar gleam in his eyes which he got whenever a case was particularly interesting to him. “See, that’s the interesting part. 80% of the karma sutra is actually just love-related philosophy and how to sustain desire. There is no sexual component to his murders, so I think he might either be trying to throw us off or create some sort of bizarre scavenger hunt.” While chewing on one of the fries Emily had brought you all for dinner you let your eyes wander over the pictures of sex positions and quotations on the board, then to the copy of the book lying right in front of Spencer on the table. “Well, it’s definitely an interesting choice to make for a book. Spence, you’ll keep it memorised for later, right?” You spoke, mostly out of habit. Spencer winked at you in response and Morgan choked on his burger. “There’s people eating here!” He spluttered out, pointing at Hotch, who looked like he wanted to die, and Rossi, who was watching the scene unfold with an amused smile on his face. All he was missing was a bucket of popcorn to match the level of detachment he was displaying. Prentiss just laughed and turned her attention to you. “(Y/N), does your boyfriend know about your workplace flirting buddy?” She knew exactly what she was doing, a mischievous glint in her eyes. You felt your face fall for the split of a second but immediately regained your composure. “Nice try, honey. I’m still not telling you about him. Also, for what it’s worth, he’s not the jealous type. So he doesn’t mind.” You deliberately avoided Spencer’s gaze, praying to whichever deities out there that you weren’t blushing.

Later that evening, back in your apartment, you could tell that something was on Spencer’s mind. He had taken some paperwork home that, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t have taken him longer than an hour. But it had been two and a half hours already, and the subconscious mumbling he only did when he was extremely anxious set you off. “Spence, baby, are you okay?” You had been his roommate for long enough to know that he needed someone to be there in moments like these. The two of you sharing an apartment had been a decision for practicality’s sake more than anything. You had slept over at each other’s apartments half of the time before that anyway, and this way, you were even able to save up some more to hopefully soon buy the house of your dreams. The team probably didn’t even know about the two of you living together, and if they knew, they had probably just added it to the list of weird things Spencer and you did. Spencer hadn’t even heard, and it took you placing your hand on his shoulder for him to return to reality. He looked up at you with a conflicted look, his eyes horribly sad. “Are you alright?” You asked again, sitting down next to him. He nodded and closed the case file he had been working on with a sigh. “I’m okay. I just keep on thinking about what Prentiss said.” You frowned. Emily tended to say a lot of things in just one day. “Back in the conference room. The…” He trailed off to take a deep breath. “The boyfriend thing.” You were still looking at him in confusion. “Am I?” “What?” You asked stupidly. Apparently, your brain had suffered a sudden case of non-functionality. You could feel his frustration get even worse. “Am I your boyfriend, (Y/N)?”, Spencer finally explained for you to catch on. Suddenly, a laugh escaped your lips. “Well, I mean I hope so.” Now it was he who looked like his mind was failing him. “I mean, to be honest, I hadn’t really properly thought about it, but I definitely bragged about my hot, intelligent FBI boyfriend to my friends from high school. So, I guess it would be really nice if you actually were. I mean, I think I haven’t slept in my own bed in weeks.” A smile had spread across Spencer’s face, a light pink hue dusting his cheeks. “I uh… I described you as my partner in the letters to my mom, too. I didn’t know how else to describe it to her. Because I … I guess I was hoping that this wasn’t just us sleeping together from the start. I trust you, (Y/N), more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. And I like having you by my side.” Not able to stop yourself, you closed the distance between the two of you to press your lips to his. Keeping your relationship with Spencer undefined for any longer than that would have been a huge waste of potential.

Somehow, you had always expected that Spencer would one day expose the two of you by taking it too far with your flirting. He hadn’t been all too experienced with dating, sex and everything beyond that before you, that was something he had told you himself once after a few glasses of your favourite red wine. But what you really hadn’t expected was running into Emily in an IKEA, of all places. Ever since once and for all defining your relationship you had moved into his bedroom for good, which left room for creativity in your old room. The two of you had been walking around the furniture store hand in hand, Spencer with a potted plant already under his arm, when you’d suddenly heard Emily calling out your name. If it hadn’t been for Spencer’s hand firmly in yours you would have booked it down the aisle of Malm closets, but this way all you could do was turn around with a deliberately composed expression. “Hi, Em.” You smiled as if you hadn’t just run into your colleague slash best friend while holding the hand of your also colleague, slash boyfriend. Prentiss looked like she was trying to make sense of the situation, her eyes fleeting back and forth between you and Spencer. “Is this something you do now? Hold hands and buy plants together?” You had to suppress a laugh and almost pitied her for her confusion. Spencer was forcing himself not to smile as well, swaying your still intertwined hands back and forth. “It’s not a big deal Emily, we just need some things for our apartment.” Her eyes looked just about ready to pop out of her skull at that. “Your apartment?! (Y/N), what about your boyfriend- oh.” Her eyes widened even more if that was even possible. “OH!” She almost yelled, and now you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips anymore. “No one will ever believe you.” You grinned, pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled Spencer back to your shopping cart with you.

The next day, Emily sat at her desk with her head in her hands when Spencer and you entered the bullpen. She looked positively traumatised and now you were all the more glad that you had bought her a breakfast muffin on the way to work. “Hey, Em.” You greeted her hesitantly, you tone causing Morgan to look up from his screen. He always immediately knew when something was off. “So, Spencer, huh?” She mumbled instead of a greeting, mustering the two of you up and down. It wasn’t abnormal for the two of you to constantly be glued to each other’s sides, but now she was probably starting to see that from a whole new perspective. You could hear Morgan get up and trip over his chair in his haste to get to Emily’s desk, but your whole focus was on her at that moment. You smiled. “Yup. Don’t ask me how, or why, but I’m sure about him. He’s also just really fucking attractive.” At that, she laughed, and Spencer pouted playfully. “You only like me for my body, (Y/N).” You rolled your eyes and nudged him with your elbow. “I’m trying to make a point here, honey. But yeah, it’s Spence, and I’m happy it’s him.” “You know, I feel like I should probably be more surprised by this, but it’s not really much of a change from the way you behaved already. Kinda saw it coming.”, Morgan finally spoke up, and you couldn’t be more grateful to him for being so cool about the whole situation. “Aren’t you guys worried about the pressure of all of this? You know, workplace romances and everything?” Emily mused. Somehow, she had already switched back into concerned friend mode. But much to your surprise it was Spencer who spoke up and pulled you closer to his side with an arm around your waist. “Someone once told me that workplace romances are actually really common and that 31% of them even end in marriage.” You felt the biggest smile grow on your face and turned to look him in the eyes. “I don’t really know anything, about any of this. But I trust (Y/N), and I trust what we have. I’m just hoping that maybe we’ll be up in those 31%.” You couldn’t help it. You just had to press a kiss to his cheek for that. “I’m hoping for that, too.” You mumbled. Despite Morgan’s and Emily’s theatrical gagging at your public display of affection, you couldn’t help but feel like this was a significant moment. You were really doing this. And boy, were you serious about it.

[ranmanjuu]

Can i request an ikesen hc, how would warlords react to a mc which is a physics major like sasuke and since they are both nerdy they spend a lot of time together and talk a lot about theories and all that science stuff. I think they'll get a bit jealous that mc is spending time with sasuke and confused as to ehat they're talking about lol

as stated before i have absolutely no idea of how physics is, much less of being a physics major. so like,,,,,,, all theories are ambiguous. they don’t exist other than that word. what are they talking about? the one who asked knows not more than the asker.

—shingen:

the first time of him seeing you talk with both such seriousness yet a twinkle lights in your eye, he can’t help but a chuckle let through.

“so, has sasuke finally found someone for himself?”

at first he plays up a bit of, “us mortals cannot understand what you’re speaking, my beloved deity, for you speak the language of the gods!” (”but sasuke can understand them though—”)

would absolutely, and constantly tease you for anything and everything. you could be talking about the inner workings of geophysics with sasuke and you’d hear the faint sound of wiggling eyebrows and metaphorical saxophone playing.

but of course, this won’t stop shingen from trying to win you over.

he does it his own style, the classical flirting with his sexy stature. yet, you always quip back in the jargon language he knows nothing about—and his several seconds of confoundment proves to be a good strategy as you flee the scene.

prior to you telling him that you were from the future, he did find it suspicious how you have so, so many “things that came from your hometown” that was painfully specific. and he’s shingen takeda, he’s known for being well-informed, so why hadn’t he heard of this before? some villages have their own tradition, yes, but it’s usually not enough to write at least twenty dictionaries about.

and even if he wants to find it, where would he go? the only two people who’ve learnt it are you and sasuke.

although he begins to pick up basic things whenever you talk to either him or the ninja. just small references that a high schooler can pick up.

for the sake of it, shingen’d probably try to do a physics pick-up line on you. but due to the lack of knowledge he has, it ends up with you on the floor laughing until you’re clenching your sides.

you can’t help it! it’s so wrong on so many levels it’s insanely hilarious while also painful.

after the laughter dies down, shingen takes it upon himself and pins you to the wall, his sultry eyes burning into yours, “well, it seems my goddess can do a bit of fixing on those, hm? please, my muse, do demonstrate how you do it properly.”

—kenshin:

(honorable mention hc: if you ever use terminology before the affectionate part of him comes in he’ll practically frown at you in deep confusion, “what are you talking about, you fool?”)

if his ninja had met you before he did, he probably wouldn’t have much of a problem. sasuke talks to someone, all he does is frown and just doesn’t care. but hoo boy you managed to slither into his heart without him even noticing it.

he’s just looking around the market for you, until he sees the sight of you chattering so brightly and passionately,,, with sasuke.

phase one: pouty mode. it lasts only for a few second, but his lips form a very strong scowl as it processes in his mind.

(phase one and a half: it’s where he glances at you and notice how you twinkle so brightly in his eyes—like a star beaming at him. except it isn’t at him. and so this honorary phase ends)

phase two: in a split second of his braincells barely managing together, he unsheathes his sword and begins to fish sasuke away from you. (”let’s duel, sasuke.”  /  “i’m afraid i was having a conversation with—”  /  “fight or i kill you this second.”)

phase three: usually it’s where you pull him away and lightly scold him, thus ending his bloodlust.

phase four: usually happens after the other party has left. pouty mode two: electric boogaloo; as he sulks like a child in envy and jealousy and you’re forced to cuddle with him and give him lots of kisses so he Functions properl after that.

of course, you can’t just let it repeat. you had a talk after some time, entailing that, kenshin, please stop chasing your vassals because they say one (1) word to me. with a lot of grumbling and reluctance, he agrees to it.

it won’t stop his lips forming into a scowl at the sight of it though.

he curses the oldened knowledge of the sengoku—he wanted you to talk to him about those big brained things. but alas, there wasn’t much he could do.

(”no, kenshin, you can’t go to the future just cause you wanna learn everything i learnt! the wormhole is gone and it takes at least 4 years—”)

—yukimura:

yukimura meets you the second time while talking to sasuke down in the market. and the decision to rebrand you from a wild boar to a witch casting spells were made in the flick of a second, just like that.

“hey, are you trying to hex my fried, enchantress?!”  /  “yukimura, they’re a friend from my hometown, it’s alright.”  /  “oh.”

as he says, a friend of sasuke is a friend of his! though he still doesn’t understand at all each time you make a physics reference, and still isn’t partly convinced you at least know an ancient language.

he doesn’t exactly buy into the whole ‘hometown-specific’ thing either, but hey. it’s sasuke and you, if you’re lying, he thinks, he’ll let you tell him in your own time.

but in the meantime, the fact you know terminology to references he doesn’t understand makes your daily bickering a lot funnier. what’s an atom and is his brain really smaller than that as you said? fun thing is he’ll probably never know if you and sasuke withhold such information.

if he ever sees you experimenting with something to examine the components, as long as it isn’t dangerous, he’d look at you in mild amusement and confusion, “what are you doing, silly?”

but if it dangerous (like guns, fireworks, etc.) he scolds you with a scowl, one born from pure worry.

once you two got together, you started going to dorky science puns. once again, yukimura doesn’t understand it, but the stupid grin you have on your face is just enough for him.

(he does ask sasuke about it later, resulting in a bright faced yuki, muttering a small “idiot,,” under his breath.)

—sasuke:

the moment you saw him at honno-ji, present day, you felt there was something familiar to him. like it’s a face you’ve passed through in the bustling streets. and the moment you saw his lab coat, you just assumed he somewhat came from the same college as you.

and just after he corrected you referring to him as “that college student” being an astrophysicist, your eyes brightened a thousand times, but tried to stifle it considering you were more or less being chased. 

you listened into his explanation of the wormhole closely, processing each word in fascination and curiosity. you had enough experience to know what he’s talking about—and it gave you so much euphoria from just simply listening in.

you hope to meet him again as he disappears in the shadows.

you do, to your delight. the very first day you went out to town, you encountered him at a stall. conversation immediately took off once you re-mentioned his degree, along with yours. from there, the wormhole was the center topic again, mostly talking about how he found where it would be and when it would be. you’d never heard of such a research back then.

and slowly, you grow an admiration to sasuke’s high intelligence. all the research he’s done, he’ll definitely show a fellow enthusiast, and you’re practically beaming at the chance.

so much so that you don’t notice the weirdened stares of the ones around you.

there nights when you’d sneak into his room just to ask him about something, or propose to him a theory since he’s the only person who’d get it.

and on some sleepless nights, you find yourself lying about with sasuke beneath the stars, peering into his telescope once in a while and geeking out about the small dots in the sky.

a part of you wished you met him sooner—but you feel like you couldn’t ever ask for more.

—yoshimoto:

truth be told, he didn’t care much at first.

his somewhat apathy towards people and more towards art becomes just ever so slightly apparent; as he lets you rant your heart out to sasuke while he admires some cloth in the background. you have your preferred friends, it isn’t his place to be opposed to it.

well, that’s what he thought of it—until you slowly got closer to him.

through talks of art and the different medias from your “hometown”, he learnt more and more about you. and his heart grew fonder and fonder.

until—for whatever reason—he found himself,,, feeling some kind of upset by the sight of you talking to sasuke so brightly like that? it’s like a part of him doesn’t sit well with it.

while he isn’t quite sure what he’s feeling, he’ll try to fish you away regardless. his good looks aren’t for nothing, even still having its charming effects on you.

putting up somewhat of an airheaded act, he mindlessly pulls you out of the conversation to look at some beautiful fabric, catching you off-guard for a moment. if you try to mention your talk with sasuke, it’s as if he doesn’t hear it as he whisks you off to another store. and another, another—until you’ve gotten some distance from the ninja.

even with all that effort, he doesn’t think much into the feeling inside his heart. what then felt like a storm, was now a welcoming, warm spring breeze in him.

he’ll figure it out, one day.

[mikecardenmpreg]

hello and welcome to another installation of “lauren’s shitty life” hosted by me, your host, lauren (and if you follow me on twitter, sorry i won’t shut up about this it’s only that it’s affecting my entire life)

you may or may not have gathered from my “trying to cover it up with humor” posts that i have gallstones. they are, in fact, making my life a living hell. it hurts to eat. and i really like eating. these last 8 or so months (or however long who fucking knows anymore) have been just one drawn out game of russian roulette: food edition. me after every big meal:

so i had a particularly bad attack at my friends’ place last week. it was far from my first attack so i knew the drill but it was a really intense one. catch me on the floor writhing and agonizing, like i do when you eat too much at a friends’ place. they posited a fun little theory: perhaps these pains weren’t just heartburn like i had been claiming, but maybe something i should probably see a doctor about. i thought. hmm. you guys might be right. and then did nothing about it because i was too weak from the agony in my ribcage to even speak or breathe. nearly passed out on the drive home because i could not get enough oxygen to my brain because expanding my chest region was almost impossible. probably should have gone to the er for this but

so naturally i had another attack the very next day. i was extra bummed about this because for once in my life, thanksgiving hadn’t been a total shitshow and i was excited to tell people about my totally average, drama-free thanksgiving! cue the writhing.

commence rapid fire googling while also rapid fire writhing on the floor! “searing pain upper right side ribcage” gives you about 100,000 results of “your fucking gallbladder you fucking moron”. and i went oop. woke up my parents at like midnight to complain and they go “call the advice nurse”. yeah. midnight on thanksgiving. someone’s definitely gonna pick up. also i can’t breathe because it hurts. thanks for that.

called the advice nurse the next morning and they scheduled me for an a video appointment with the first available doctor. let me tell you. i already had two things going on that day: had to take my car in for service and also it was black friday record store day. i could not take the day off. it was not allowed. so i spent my whole day bouncing between [where i work] and [nearby city where my car gets serviced] on the busiest shopping day of the year while also waiting for my video appointment with an unknown doctor about something kinda scary. not a fun or productive day for me. 

the doctor ended up booking me an ultrasound appointment because she came to the same conclusion i did: gallbladder’s haunted. but as it was friday afternoon, i had to wait until monday morning to go in. fun, productive weekend for me! i love being in purgatory. meanwhile, i’m deprived of my favorite fucking activity: stuffing my god damn face. i LOVE eating. i LOVE LOVE LOVE eating!!!! sunday night i had what was probably my last fried chicken sandwich for a very long time. it was good. but i didn’t enjoy it because it was overshadowed by guilt. 

went to the hospital before work on monday to get my ultrasounds. highlight: totally confused the ultrasound tech by wearing men’s deodorant despite being a woman. she wouldn’t stop talking about how long she’s been single and how the smell of men’s deodorant sends her. the poor girl. anyway that’s completely unrelated. she pretended like she couldn’t read the ultrasounds and sent me off with a “maybe.......don’t eat?” really reassuring girl.

my results came in later in the day (again, not a productive work day for me) to reveal i had two gallstones. my doctor asked me how i wanted to proceed. i was like. girl. you’re the doctor. you tell me. i sent her back a very long email about the last however many months and the severe pain i was in and the family history and the whole thing. this, by the way, coinciding with my fucked up back is hilarious. 2020 had its kiss for me. anyway. she emailed me back with just “surgery referral sent”. okay. 

surgery calls me to set up a video appointment with a PA. they do not tell me the point of this appointment. i do not care, but am pleasantly surprised how fast this is all moving. my video appointment gets scheduled for thursday, one week and one day after my initial “oh fuck” moment. the video appointment goes well. the PA tells me about my options but also says that two of the three options are basic horseshit and the only real option is full-on gallbladder removal. i’m chill with this. i’m done. just take the fucking thing out. we discuss diarrhea for too long. i ask how long recovery might take. he doesn’t have an answer because it all depends on how they have to extract the stupid idiot bile sack. the appointment ends on a less than hopeful note: someone will call either that day or the next to schedule surgery but it might be a wait before i can get in. i’m like, okay, that’s fine. i can wait a bit. it’s been 8 or so months. what’s a few more weeks?

well. i have another gallbladder attack that night. it lasts 8 hours. eight. fucking. hours. can’t sit. can’t stand. can’t lay down. can’t do anything but suffer. i eventually fall asleep around 4:30am. i wake up at 10, just in time for general surgery to call and tell me, i shit you not, that someone will be calling me soon. i cannot go back to sleep. i have to go to work. i am exhausted and frustrated and angry that i’ve just had my third gallbladder attack in 8 days. i probably should have gone to the er. definitely should not have eaten dinner.

no one calls me until 3:30 in the afternoon. and when they finally do, it’s to tell me they cannot schedule my surgery. they are fully booked through january. i am put on a waitlist in case someone cancels their surgery and i can be squeezed in. because this surgery to remove my defective gallbladder is considered “elective” and not “emergency”, i have to potentially wait at least two months. my gallbladder feels like this

and i have to wait two months because it isn’t an emergency. 3 gallbladder attacks in 8 days and it’s not an emergency. my digestive system is not functioning properly anD IT’S NOT AN EMERGENCY????? if any single person felt the way i did after eating, this would not be deemed elective. my body is not working. i cannot eat without fear of pain. i have already lost a noticeable amount of weight because i’ve been avoiding food. i need it out. it need it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i left work early, cried all the way home, got home, cried some more, fell asleep, woke up, and ate the saddest dinner: one quarter cup steel cut oats with honey and cinnamon. untoasted, unbuttered sourdough bread. unsugared tea. water.

this is my life for the foreseeable future. is this a good time to mention that my absolute favorite food is curry? a nice hearty, spicy, yogurt-y curry. and here i am. thinking about the plain white rice my gallbladder is gonna make me eat for the next two months.

i’m so hungry.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Logically Speaking: Four

“Y/N. What the fuck are you doing upside down?” Bucky’s voice made you open your eyes and you sighed, “I was thinking.” He laughed and moved out of the way as your feet came away from the wall and you righted yourself, “About what, Punk?” he says watching you pop your neck.

“Nothing important,” you say shaking your head. It’s hard to put into words. The life you left behind to do this job. Bucky frowns and casually drops an arm around your shoulder. His metal one. It’s a subtle way to hold you in place against him when he sensed you were going to go back to your room to mope. Bucky, since being there in medical after your last episode had been... less tentative around you. They all had, really. You supposed that seeing how little you actually wanted to use your powers helped reassure them you weren’t actually a terrorist. Bucky was the most likely to touch you casually. An arm around your shoulder or something as you walked.

Not that you minded. He was handsome. There were some incredibly attractive men on the team. Bucky walked you to the kitchen and pulled out a stool for you before getting out a skillet. “Well, whatever you were thinking about, I’ve been put on look after the rookie duty today.” You quirk an eyebrow and Bucky smiles a little, “We all realized we were being massive assholes to you... Fury’s report finally came through about the incident and it turns out, you were trying to stop the train to save everyone. And the guy standing in front of it... Not to kill everyone in a five-block radius.” You gasp and your hands slap over your mouth, tears welling up and Bucky cringes, “Hey. Stop. No. That didn’t happen. No one actually died... Except for one guy. But that was a heart attack and totally not your fault.” He gets out the fixings for a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup, “You did real good. For a punk from some little town in the middle of nowhere.” You sigh and nod, “All I could do was try. He was a client once.” 

Bucky nodded, waiting for you to say more. Or ask questions. When you didn’t, and you pulled your knees up to your chest and laid your head on them, he kept talking. “It must have been hard, taking care of all those people for so long,” he says, buttering bread carefully. “Don’t therapist voice me,” you say quietly, not lifting your head. “Don’t try and out staff me,” you say, “It won’t work.” Bucky shuts his mouth after a beat. In the back of his mind, he wants to say something snarky. He wants to say that you look like a mean look could knock you over right now. He wants to say that he heard you cry in your sleep last night walking by your room. But he knows it won’t help. You might be out of your room but that doesn’t mean the walls aren’t still firmly in place. So he backs off your life before. He can see how it would be a sore subject. SHEILD had taken it away. You’d worked so hard to be something and now? You were a rookie Avenger when all you wanted was your apartment. 

“So, Rookie Duty,” Bucky tried again, “We’ve all decided that it’s our job to train you properly. And make sure you eat more than a couple yogurt every day... Maybe even get you out of the compound for more than visits to the jail.” You look up at him, turning your head slowly, “And today’s your turn?” you ask in some monotone voice that Bucky hates. He hates it because he’s heard Audio of you before. When you were functioning around the depression instead of wallowing in it. He nods, “I thought we’d start with lunch... You keep skipping meals.” He works quietly after that, aiming for some comfortable silence. Companionship that wouldn’t make you bolt yourself in your room. “Don’t call me Punk anymore, please?” Bucky stopped, halfway to putting soup in a bowl, “Why?” he pressed gently. You sigh, “Ronnie used to call me that... Before he fried his brain so bad he can’t use a spoon.” Bucky hid a wince just barely and nodded, “Okay,” he said softly, “what do you want me to call you?” You shake hair out of your eyes and sigh, “My name works fine,” you say. At the smell of something burning her looked down, “Fuck, fuck,” he flipped the grilled cheese and winced at the slightly burnt bread, “Sorry. I’ll make another one.” You smile a little, “It’s okay. I like them that way.” Bucky gave you a look but shrugged and slid it onto the plate gently and cut it in half. “Why?” he asked. You shrug, “Keeps the sandwich from falling apart when you dunk it in the soup.” You don’t say that it’s the only way you ever got to eat it as a kid because your mom would only hand you the burnt ones your brothers wouldn’t eat. Bucky, if he suspects anything other than what you said, says nothing. He just makes his own plate and takes the seat next to yours. You eat. Slowly. He can’t tell if you aren’t hungry or don’t like it or both. You look like you’re thinking and he leaves you to it. You’re quiet as a rule around any of the team. Played things close to the chest. He could understand that they were overwhelming. Loud. “Movie night, tonight,” he offered. An errant sentence you could take or leave.

“No thank you,” you said politely but firmly. He smiled a little, “Why?” he asked. You shrug, “There’s not really any point being where I’m not wanted. I appreciate whatever Rookie Duty or whatever the fuck is supposed to be but... I’m not an Avenger. Never will be,” you murmur, not looking at him. “I’m a social worker,” you continue, “I go into bad neighborhoods with a manila folder and a care plan. I don’t run into battle with Aliens.” Bucky watched you go and gently grabbed your wrist as you walked by, “Y/N,” he started but he didn’t get a chance. You took your wrist from his grasp and walked away, holding your head up. 

He looked at your half-eaten sandwich and shook his head. Clearly, he’d failed. Nat had rookie Duty tomorrow. Maybe she’d have better luck. He cleared your plate into the trash and fought the urge to go up to your room and drag you out. Steve looked around as he walked into the kitchen, “Where’s Y/N?” he asked. Bucky sighed, “Back in her room, probably.” Steve winced, “Burnt lunch that bad, huh?” Bucky snorted, “Apparently she likes her grilled cheese a little burnt.” Steve slapped Bucky on the shoulder, bracingly “Find out anything else?”

“Don’t call her Punk,” he said, “She hates it. Reminds her of her brother Ronnie.” Steve nodded, “Is Ronnie the one on drugs or the one in jail?” 

“Drugs,” Nat answered, getting herself a juice. Steve nodded, “That’s fair.” Nat smiled a little, “Don’t beat yourself up Bucky,” she said, “Y/N spent her whole life trying to hide and help other people at the same time... Then we were all assholes.” The brunette shrugged his shoulders, “She told me she wasn’t an Avenger and never would be. That she was a social worker.” Nat smiled a little, “I can work with that.”

Tags:  @lancsnerd​ @stevieang​ @golddaggers​ @blameitonthecauseway​ @qxeen-of-hearts​ @process-pending​ @xmarveled​ @etherealwaifgoddess @beautybyfire

[mokutonprince]

Love me slowly

Part 3 Part 2 Part 1

“C’mon, Parker, buck up.”

Peter just groaned, curling into the top of the cafeteria table while attempting to hide his very being under his arms. 

“It’s not that bad. He likes you.”

That just made the boy groan all the louder, seemingly more wounded than before. Ned finally just reached over to pat his back before returning to his lunch.

“Yeah, Peter. He seems like a nice guy.”

A nice guy, yeah. The most charming and breathtaking Man.

Loki is a God. A God who had reeked havoc on New York, which, by the way, he know’s it wasn’t his fault. Mr. Stark may not have told him much about what happened that day besides the obvious, but Karen was rather helpful. And if FRI  told his mentor what he was getting into, no one said anything.

He had been so excited to finally get introduced to Thor, but he was sorely unprepared when he had met his brother. 

Unworthy in his own right. 

Forget Mjolnir. Peter felt unworthy to even be in his presence. Loki just had that..what do they call it?

“That, je ne sais quoi.”

“Learning French, now, Penis?” came an unwanted sneer, Peter didn’t even have to look up to know who it was.

“Oh piss off, Flash.” MJ fired back, “You wouldn’t be able to understand a beautiful language.”

The wannabe jock just sneered even harder, glare moving from the female brunette and to Ned at Peter’s side when he heard him whisper, “He can’t when he broke too many mirrors-”

MJ barked out a laugh, palm slapping the table. Even Peter’s shoulders were shaking from his giggles.

“Fuckin’ faggots.” Flash mumbled before storming off, his little posse of friends trotting after their leader like some lost ducks. Sad, really.

Peter sighed and lifted his head when he knew they were gone, leaving him and his friends in solitude once again. 

“You look lovesick, Parker.” was MJ’s way to gain his attention. Which worked when he choked on the air in his throat, causing his two best friends to laugh at his expense. 

“Ugh.”

The rest of the day passed quickly, leaving him dreading the weekend with the fresh pile of homework stuffed in his bag. Ned was at his side, making their way out of the building, and spouting about Chemistry when a hand suddenly grabbed and squeezed his bicep.

“Ned what-” Peter jerked his head up, looking around to what spooked his friend.

“Is that?” 

Staring at his friends wide eyes stare with a confused pout, he followed his gaze and his heart jumped to his stomach then up into his throat.

The long black hair was gone, a handsome lighter cut only making his features stand out even more and “Oh my god..”

Loki seemed to have heard what he said, because he just smirked and those now light eyes are laughing at him.

The dark pinstripe suit looks so good, the entire outfit making him think if Mr. Stark or better yet, if Pepper made sure he had dressed properly. He looks so different, but he knows do he is. He can feel it.

“Peter?” 

Fuck, how long was he staring.

Tearing his eyes away from the man that made his stomach twist and flutter at the same time (does anyone else say that anymore?) he looks at his excited yet nervous best friend. “Is that him?”

Poor Peter could just nod, swallowing before he could respond with a little croaked out, “YEah.”

Ned grinned, shaking his  shoulder, “Go! He must have come to meet you. Probably for a mission?”

He wanted to laugh, or scoff, but Ned looked so excited and honestly...he doesn’t even know why the God of mischief himself was here to begin with.

“Y-Yeah, I think so. I’ll call you later-”

“Don’t worry about it!” Ned rushed, grin splitting his face as he got behind his slightly taller frame and began to nudge him forward towards the gates where Loki stood waiting.

“Just give me all the deets later!”

They got about half way across the yard before the insistent pushing stopped and he was left alone with a white knuckle grip on his backpack straps. Bunch of traitorous friends lately. 

Slowly, he continued his way forward, just now noticing the small fan base the God had gathered to gaze at the beautiful man. He looked like a celebrity, from his clothes to his stance, but that damn charming smile he sent to those girls made a tiny spark of unease and jealousy curl in his stomach and he pushed that aside so fast-

He opened his mouth to call out to him as he had gotten closer, but then those now light blue eyes locked on him and the smile was blinding and charming at the same time. “Peter.”

Oh thank the heavens, his voice was the same, his knees weakening at the smooth tone.

A few dozen pairs of eyes turned to him in surprise and confusion, mixed with heated jealousy and anger that made the boy start to curl in on himself. Definitely not what he expected.

Seeing the unease, Loki stepped away from where he been leaning and carefully yet politely moved through the small crowd until he was standing a mere couple feet from the smaller boy and swallowing his pleased purr when those honeyed brown eyes grew wide.

“I hope my presence here has not caused you any ill consequence, Peter.”

Said boy shook his head, gulping down the access saliva on his tongue, “N-never. I’m just, surprised. I didn’t think your brother would have let you out of his sight.”

Loki just laughed, and Peter wanted to hear it again.  All the time.

“Well, you’re correct. But I managed to persuade both he and your impossible mentor. But ah,” Taking a quick glance around at their curious crowd then back to his adorable little spider, he cocked an eyebrow in show and Peter had to take a second for his brain to function properly before he nodded with a small breathy chuckle.

“Mr. Stark send you here to pick me up?”

“Well. I may have made the suggestion.”

At Peter’s clear confusion, Loki took a careful step back just to add a little room between the two of them. His smile turned a bit cautious, shy even as he reached both hands behind his back before returning just as quickly, except with one of the most beautiful flower bouquet in his hands.

“I was hoping you would accompany me, for dinner.”

The crowd of nosy students and a few curious teachers suddenly erupted, but Loki only had his eyes for the stunned silent boy in front of him.

Granted, he was rather rusty when it came to trying to court someone and with his blasted Midgardian disguise he had to wear while out, he felt more out of place than he did on Asgard. 

Peter felt his entire body erupt if heat, it was a miracle he hadn’t combusted into flames. His lips parted in surprise, a question on his tongue but as his eyes went from the flowers to the shy yet sincere eyes of the God, he could of sworn he saw some green in that blue.

“Yes.”

The pink flowers smell just as good as they look, having reached for them and held them to his nose. No one has ever gotten him flowers, his being a boy always meant he was the one who had to get a girl the gifts, but this...this felt nice. 

It wasn’t until he heard the word Faggots! being yelled but a familiar voice, did he realize that he just got asked out by a man. Outside. Of his school. With a very loud and nosy crowd of his fellow students and a few curious onlookers. 

Oh no.

Seeing the out right fear contort Peters face, removing the most gorgeous smile he had on his face, Loki made sure he remember that boys face who caused it. 

“Come, Peter. Stark has been waiting for you.” 

Peter didn’t hesitate to curl into Loki’s side, allowing himself to be ushered off school grounds and away from the judging eyes. The arm around his shoulders was warm, comforting, but he leaned even further into the man when that hand moved down to his waist. It felt like it belonged there, his smile and pleased blush hiding behind the pink bouquet.

Loki’s long legs ushered them down the sidewalk at an easy pace, making sure they were a good distance away from the school. He was quiet, lips pursed in a thin line as his eyes darted from each side every few moments; as though watching for something.

“Um..” Peter finally began to muster, “L-Loki..sir?”

Blue eyes were immediately on him, “Yes, Peter?”

The arm snug around his waist never wavered, becoming warm and almost heavy, but Peter stayed close. Comfortable.

“I was just wondering- I mean, you look amazing. Not that I didn’t think you did before, you still do. Just that you’re different. A good different. But you still looked handsome as you did- I just-”

The God just laughed, an amused light thing that held no traces of sarcasm.

“Well, since you noticed. Yes, I do have a different appearance. Too many remember what happened then..when I attacked-” 

They both had come to a stop near an alley, the shadow of the building giving the comfort of being semi-secluded, so Peter felt the courage to lift a hand and give a comforting squeeze to Loki’s bicep in a way to show his support; that he understood.

Loki just smiled. “I had to change my outer appearance so blend in. Stark had pushed it, stating that if I were to walk among the city I would be noticed and cause a panic. Which...I agree. I do not wish to cause more harm or to bring the people of Midgard into mass-hysteria. Changing my look was the only option.”

Taking a small step back away from the smaller boy, he looked down at himself with a small hum and a critical eye. “I do hope it is passable. Nothing noticeable.” 

Peter held firmly onto the flowers, careful not to crush them against his body. “You-you are very handsome. Loki.” he squeaked out, feeling utterly embarrassed but strangely proud of himself for actually saying it. “In every way.”

With a smile Loki took the others empty hand, fingers carefully curled so he could place a kiss to soft knuckles, “And you, my darling,” he purred, soft gentle blue finding honeyed warm brown as his lips then found the sweet skin of Peters palm in a fairy light kiss, “are absolutely breathtaking.”

Peter stops breathing, eyes wide in shock because what the fuck. There is no way he just..he’s not..

Warm breath puffed across Peters hand, a small airy chuckle leaving the God’s lips that stayed against the boy’s palm, “Please do not lie to yourself.” 

Peter quickly dropped his head, lips pressed together and eyes breaking their contact when he realized that he accidentally said that out loud. But a hand to his chin to lift his head, didn’t allow his avoidance for long. “Don’t hide from me..I wish to see all of you.”

Peter couldn’t help but smile, leaning into the touch that shifted to his cheek, but it took him a moment for him to regain the confidence to find eye contact. “I’ll try.”

“Wonderful.”

Then they just stood, silent and watching the other and waiting for either one of them to move. Their hands stayed together, held up and against the God’s chest like a precious gem and the hand on his cheek was warm, comforting. 

It was slow at first, neither one of them realizing who had moved but then they were so close. Peter could see how his eyelashes were still black, gorgeously long and curved just right. And Loki noticed the specs of gold decorating those honeyed eyes, the small almost unnoticeable tiny freckles that painted the top of his cheeks, one side to the other. 

A moment they were frozen, the next, there was a sharp intake of breath from both as their lips met in a barely there kiss. Loki watched Peter’s eyes widen, saw how they seemed to go into shock before calming down until they closed with a sweet little hum. 

Then they were lost.

Peter moved closer in instinct, the hand on his cheek slipping to cradle the back of his head, using the careful grip to angle both their head just so. 

It was nothing more than a slow movement of lips, Peter getting a little too eager that showed his inexperience and Loki gently slowing him down and showing just what to do. The boy was a quick learner, growing more confident in his own skin, going so far as to swipe the tip of his tongue across the bottom lip that was captured between his own. 

The moan or hum that answered it shocked the both of them, causing the younger of the two to pull back with wide eyes, dark pink slightly swollen lips parted in shock, cause what the hell-

Loki just grinned, keeping the boy close as he let him calm down and let what just happen to settle in, his thumb caressing just under Peter’s ear helping him breathe.

“wow..”

“Very ‘wow’ indeed.”

Peter didn’t know what to say, feeling like a fool for saying the dumbest thing he possibly could. Brown eyes dropped, finding focus on the well worn concrete walkway they stood on that led into the alley, the knowledge of their seclusion making it easier.

“I um..I’ve never..” he stopped with a huff, a small pout on his lips as he tried to say what he needed, like he needed to explain himself. But Loki was quiet, patient as he gathered his thoughts.

“That was my first kiss..” Peter finally admitted, shame filling every part of his body, the pleasant buzz he had being chased away by his self doubt and sudden anxiety. What if he hated it? hated him? He was a God for fucks sake..he was worth more than a virgin hormonal teenage boy with watching porn as his only experience.

But to his surprise, Loki just tucked a stray curl behind his burning ear and smiled. Not that condescending smirk that Flash does when he’s making fun of him; but a loving sweet curve of lips that made his chest tighten, because no one has ever looked at him like that..not even Aunt May.

“I do not care of your experience, Peter. Even if you were to have been with a thousand men and women, I would not care. I have been alive for many millennia, too many if you ask me, having seen countless skies, cultures and a multitude of beings, But none of them are you. And I so wish, that you will give me the chance to properly court you, to show you... To make you mine.”

Peter just stared. Unable to have even a single thought besides the sudden question of what that floated around like the DVD movie logo on the rested screen. He must have been quiet for far too long, because the hand in his hair moved to pull away and everything just restarted.

“Yes!” he shouted, probably too loud because a few random pedestrians that were passing by stopped to stare. 

“I mean ah. Yes. I would..very much like to be courted. By you...please.” 

And Loki suddenly looked years longer then, a smile lighting up his face with utter joy before he surged forward for another kiss. One that Peter couldn’t help but giggle into as he swung his arms around to hold onto the taller man’s neck, longer and strong arms circling around his lithe waist. It was just a little more effort when Peter had to push up onto his toes to feel closer.

It was just a shame they neither of them noticed the fuming famous Tony Stark that stood on the other side of the street, one second away from gearing up and making his way over. Lucky for them, a blond big brother was able to hold him back. 

[avengemebuckyy]

Statuesque 👠

Summary: 

‘“Uh, no, I can work on your arm.” You say, standing up. Your heart drops.

You’re taller than him.

You’re taller than him.’

or: You haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to dating. You don’t think Bucky will be any different.

Author’s note: This is a Bucky x tall fem reader. As a tall girl I kind of can’t relate when fanfics describe the reader being dwarfed by the love interest. I’m two inches away from six foot so I’m more likely to dwarf them. Especially in heels. So I thought it would be interesting to do Bucky with a tall girl. A really tall girl. I’ll do tags in a reblog since I don’t know if it’s safe to add links yet. Someone let me know if it’s safe lmao.

warnings: none

---

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Bucky says shooting Clemence a knee weakening smile. Clemence giggles, tossing her shiny chocolate hair over her shoulders.

“No problem Sargent,” she purrs, leaning in slightly. Bucky had come in for his regular tune up on his arm. With strict instructions from Shuri the engineers working under the reformed Avengers had been preforming monthly tests to make sure Bucky’s arm was functioning properly. However recently the head engineer, Folashade, had been experimenting with some new functions for Bucky’s arm so he had been coming in weekly instead of monthly. Not like anyone on your all female team was complaining.

Whenever Bucky came into the workshop all productivity screeched to a halt. Even now you could see your coworkers not-so-subtly staring Bucky down. Not that you could blame them. The man was gorgeous. His brown hair looked absolutely touchable and the perfect amount of stubble lined his sharp jaw. But it really was his eyes and mouth that could do a girl in. Bucky’s eyes were large and piercing, even a simple glance from him seemed to be intense. And his mouth- it wasn’t necessarily his lips- although they were perfectly pouty, but rather his words that would make women melt. Apparently once he had been different, you had heard from some techs, silent and withdrawn, guarded and jumpy. But that was before your time. You had only been hired a few months ago, and the Bucky you knew was a massive flirt.

But under his smooth exterior signs of the broken and put back together man showed through. You could see it in the way he’d tense whenever touched him, how he constantly seemed to be scanning the room, how he’d always be checking the entrances and exits, and  in the way he’d avoid looking at his reflection in the full length mirror next to the table whenever he’d get his arm worked on.

Clemence closes up the panel on Bucky’s arm and shoots him a gleaming white smile that would have melted a lesser man. But Bucky simply rolls down his sleeve and gets up from the work table.

“It’s been a pleasure as always, ladies” He says giving a charming smile and heading out the door. As soon as the door closes girlish sighs erupt around the room.

“Is it just me or is he getting hotter and hotter?” Vanessa says fanning herself.

“He is,” Clemence says, smirking

“Clemence I can’t believe you got to work on him two times in a row!” Vanessa says and the other girls mutter their agreement.

“What can I say,?” Clemence says inspecting her perfectly manicured nails-which always stayed perfectly manicured no matter what kind of project she was working on.

“You smug bitch- I’m taking your stick out of the drawing next time.” Brittney calls out laughing. Every time Bucky was due to come into the workroom there was a drawing to see who would get to work on him.

You allow yourself to smirk at the girl’s lascivious comments for a moment before blocking them out and returning to your work. You hadn’t even written your name on a popsicle stick to be drawn. After all you were realistic. You would leave girls like Vanessa, Clemence and Ayesha to fight for Bucky’s affection. They were all beautiful, the type of girls who would be in the running to capture such a man’s attention. You on the other hand weren’t even in the race. Life had taught you that soon enough. Failed dates, dances where you did nothing but sit on the sidelines, girls nights out were every one of your friends got chatted up except you. You think your height is partially to blame. You were very tall. Taller than most women and even a lot of men. Even the men that were taller than you seemed to gravitate towards the cute, petite girls.

You eye Clemence’s tiny frame and hold back a sigh. The tallest girl in the workroom besides you was 5”5. You always felt gigantic around them. Unfeminine. In your personal life you feel that you had to compensate, and usually you do by dressing extra girly. But all engineers must wear the same army green jumpsuit when working. The other girls look cute in theirs while you feel like you look like a burly mechanic. You look at the time.

“I’m gonna take my lunch now guys” You say, standing up from your worktable.

“Okay, just be sure to back by 1pm, I want us to start on the launcher then.” Clemence says turning around. “Wow. You know sometimes I forget how tall you are,” she says looking up at you.

“Okay.” You reply, giving a tight nod and heading out of the room.

A week later you’re sitting out at your usual picnic table. You almost always take your lunch breaks alone. Work just requires so much brain power and digestion of information that you sometimes feel that your head is going to explode. So during your lunch break you like to sit alone and decompress. Usually you listen to music but recently you’ve started a book. A deep voice startles you, but you can’t quite make out the words that were said. You look up and are met with Bucky Barnes’ piercing gaze.

“Huh?” you say, feeling like a deer in headlights.

“I said do you mind if I sit here?”

“Uh, no, go ahead,” You say and look back down at your book. You stare at the pages, not comprehending anything. Finally you give into the urge and look up at Bucky. He’s calmly unwrapping a sub, looking delectable as ever in a tight navy long sleeve that shows off every contour of his biceps.

“What’cha reading?” he asks, taking a bite of his sub and looking at you.

“Girl in the snow, it’s a murder mystery.” You reply, eyes darting back down to the page.

“Interesting. To be honest I thought you’d be reading some book on engineering.”

You look up at him and find him smirking at you.

“No way! I eat out here to get away from work. Sometimes after being in the workroom for too long I feel like my brain’s fried.”

“I get that.” Bucky chuckles “I mean love the guy but if I had to listen to Steve practicing his inspirational speech one more time I’m pretty sure my head would explode.”

You giggle at the thought of the Captain practicing his renowned speeches.

“How many times does he usually practice his speeches?”

Bucky groans “At least 10 times.” He leans forward and in a conspiratory whisper says: “Frankly I think he just loves the sound of his own voice.”

The next day Bucky sits down with you when you take your lunch. And the day after that. And the day after that. After the second day you don’t even bother opening your book. You find it so easy to talk to Bucky. He makes you laugh with his sly sense of humor and surprisingly the two of you have a lot of things in common, you find you have to pull yourself away from the table at the end of your breaks.

At the end of the week as you listen to the girls drawing sticks, you can feel your heart rate picking up. You know it’s only been a few days and you don’t want to even admit it to yourself but you’re developing quite the crush on Bucky Barnes.

“Vanessa’s got it.”

Disappointed groans sound out from across the workroom.

“At least tell me you’re gonna be working on his upper arm today,” Brittany says. Vanessa picks up Bucky’s file and flips through it.

“We’re in luck ladies, today is the upper plates!” whistles sound out across the room. Upper arm means Bucky has to take off his shirt. You contemplate taking your lunch right now. You don’t think you’ll be able to sit and watch Vanessa charm Bucky. Vanessa always had the male agents drooling whenever they come into the workshop to be fitted with new weapons. Her chic jet black pixie and curvy petite frame seems to be like catnip to men.

Just as you’re about to step outside, the door opens and Bucky enters the workroom.

“Good afternoon” he greets, looking around the workroom.

“Afternoon, Sergeant Barnes,” Vanessa says, smiling widely. “I’ll be working on your arm today.”

Normally Bucky just nods and heads over to the worktable. But today he pauses.

“Actually I was hoping that y/n would be able to work on my arm today.” Every head in the workroom whips towards you. You look up, shocked. Bucky walks towards you, stopping in front of your table.

“Unless she’s too busy for lil’ ol’ me.” The soldier gives you a teasing smile.

“Uh, no, I can work on your arm.” You say, standing up. Your heart drops.

You’re taller than him.

You’re taller than him.

You suddenly realize that you’ve never stood next to Bucky. He always came to the picnic table when you were sitting down and you always left him sitting at the table. You had always been sitting at your worktable when he came in to get his arm tuned up and you had never interacted with him besides those moments.

You’re only taller by an inch or two but you know when it comes to guys it might as well be a foot. If you had any chance with Bucky before it was officially shot. You struggle to keep your face composed. Bucky seems unware of your internal struggle, shooting you a panty dropping smile and turning to walk towards the worktable.

You can feel every eye boring into you as you take the file from Vanessa and skim over it.

“I’ll be working on the front panel of your upper arm today, I’m going to be running through the flexion capabilities of the plates.”

Bucky nods, eyes never leaving your face.

“I-um I’m gonna need you to take off your shirt if you don’t mind.” You stammer and Bucky smirks. You can’t even enjoy this moment because you’re still fixated on the fact that you’re taller than Bucky. Normally you can tell within moments whether a guy is taller than you, even if you’re sitting down. Like a snake measuring it’s prey before devouring it. But you had been so taken by Bucky you didn’t even think about his height. You’ll admit, you’d always loved the idea of having a tall boyfriend, but if you were honest with yourself it was more so to fit in with society than your own personal mandate. But it didn’t matter in the end, most guys wouldn’t even entertain the thought of being with a girl taller than them.

Your thoughts are broken by the sound of Bucky pulling off his long sleeved shirt. You hear some muffled sighs and one ‘damn!’ followed by hushes and giggles.

Bucky is stacked. Every agent you’ve worked with is in shape, but the super soldier is on another level. Bulging defined muscles line every inch of his frame and broad shoulders taper down into a slim waist. You’re so busy staring you almost miss the nervous look in Bucky’s eye. You’re confused for a moment before you realize. You look at his shoulder, where the metal arm fuses with his shoulder. Even Shuri’s genius and the Wakandan doctor’s groundbreaking treatments hadn’t been able to heal the angry raised scars that covered his shoulder. You place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and rather than tensing Bucky seems to relax into your touch, his face relaxing too.

“Well just give me a moment to grab the tools and we’ll get started.” You say smiling at him and gently rubbing his shoulder. “It should give the ladies enough time to pick their jaws up off the floor.”

Laughter sounds out from around the workroom and Bucky joins in, fixing you with a full, happy smile.

Two weeks later you’re eating lunch with Bucky. It’s become routine for him to join you and you find your heart fluttering every time you catch his silhouette heading towards your table. A foreign sort of hope has started blossoming in your chest. ‘Maybe he kind of likes me? In that way?’

“Can I ask you a question?” he says suddenly, after you finish telling him about a new TV series you’ve started.

“No. People who like pineapple on pizzas are not allowed to ask me questions.” You say keeping your face straight. Bucky makes a expression of mock-hurt and whines your name.

“Come on, sugar, can you make an exception for me?”

You pretend to think for a moment.

“I guess. But you’re on thin ice Barnes.”

Bucky smiles and you try to ignore how your heart jumps.

“Say, what kind of flowers do dames like nowadays?”

You feel your heart drop.

What kind of flowers do dames like nowadays?

Dames. Not you.

Of course. Why hadn’t you seen it clearly? You’d been in this situation before. Guys always seemed to gravitate towards you when they needed help approaching someone else. ‘Who was it?’ you wondered for a moment. Clemence? Ayesha? Vanessa? Most likely Vanessa. It didn’t matter. You knew what was coming next, questions on how to woo his love interest and the cold shoulder once he succeeded.

You should have kept your feelings under control.

‘Fix your face’ you think to yourself and struggle to not let your emotions show.

“Well roses are always a hit.” You say, giving a smile that you hope doesn’t look pained “Although bouquets of roses and daises are popular nowadays. I thought it was an odd combination at first, but they do look really pretty…” your voice trails off. Bucky nods.

“Thanks sugar, I’ll keep that in mind” Bucky says giving you a soft smile. For a moment the two of you just look at each other. You feel yourself getting swept away in his gaze again.

‘Stop’ you tell yourself. ‘It’s no use anyway’

“Well, it’s time for me to head back.” You say standing and gathering your things.

‘You need to start cutting him off. Before it hurts too much to do so.’

Over the next two weeks you avoid Bucky best you can. You take your lunch in other places most days, in various spots so Bucky won’t find you. Still, you don’t want to seem like you’re avoiding him so you work on him when he comes into the workroom and asks for you and you sit at your usual spot two days out of those weeks, blaming work for your repeated absence. When you do take lunch with him you try to be impersonal in order to stop your feelings from deepening any further. But even in the short time you’ve come to know him Bucky Barnes is a hard man to forget.

By the end of the third week you’re sitting under a large tree on the compound, eating your lunch. You’re in the middle of  taking a massive bite of the puff pastry you packed when you notice two worn leather boots in your line of sight.

You look up and are met with Bucky Barnes’ piercing gaze.

“Hey,” he says

“Hey,” you reply, quickly shoving the rest of your pastry in your mouth , so you don’t have to say much else before you make your escape.

“Um so I was just actually heading out-“ you say quickly packing up your lunch box and standing. Bucky says your name softly, and something in his voice makes you pause. He sounds almost hurt.

“Are you avoiding me sugar?”

“N-no- of course not,” you stammer “But I really must be going-“ you say starting to walk away.

“Wait!” Bucky grasps your arm and you’re surprised by how gentle his touch is. He releases you and starts to shuffle his feet a bit.

“I-uh needa ask you something.”

“Sure,” you say, voice clipped. Internally you wilt, knowing a question on how to romance one of your coworkers is coming next.

“I was just wonderin’ if maybe you’d fancy going with me to Stark’s party next week. As my date. And uh maybe I can take you out to dinner beforehand?”

You just stare at Bucky for a moment shocked. ‘He’s asking me out?’

“Of course it’s alright if you don’t want to.” He says a blush working it’s way up his neck. The gears in your mind are slowly starting to turn. ‘Doesn’t he care about the height thing?’

“It doesn’t bother you?” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. You curse internally. ‘Maybe he hasn’t even noticed?’

“What?” Bucky asks looking adorably confused. You take a deep breath before deciding to say it. Better you know now rather than find out when he asks you to not wear heels.

“That I’m taller than you.” You mumble feeling embarrassed. Bucky looks at you for a moment before breaking out into a beautiful laugh, all full lips and white teeth.

“No, why would it?”

“ It’s just that most other guys seem to have a problem with my height.” You say looking down at your shoes.

“I never much cared about a gal’s height, it more mattered to me that she looked good.” Bucky steps closer, smirking “And might I say you are the best looking dame I’ve ever seen.”

You can’t contain your giggle at that “Stop flattering me Barnes.”

“There’s nothing to flatter sugar, I’m just speaking the God-honest truth.” Bucky says, leaning even closer, until you feel that you might due to his nearness. He smells indescribably good. Pine mixed with almost a smoky scent. “ ‘Sides I like your height. It’s sexy. Makes you look like some typa goddess or something.”

You can’t do anything but smile like an idiot.

“Shut up, Bucky,” you say turning your face away giggling.

“But I can’t, not when I’m around you,” he says smiling at you. He places a hand on your hip and gently urges you closer. You comply. “So, whattdaya say?”

“Yes.” You say still grinning. Bucky smiles back, smile threatening to overtake his entire face.

“Well that’s the best news I’ve heard in a while,” he says and steps backwards. For the first time you notice one of his hands is behind his back. “ You know, I have on good authority that these-“ he pulls his hand from behind his back and reveals a large bouquet of roses and daises “are the types of flowers dames like nowadays.”

You can’t help squealing a little bit. “You’re so corny” you say giggling “You’re lucky I like that.”He hands you the flowers and offers you his arm, taking your lunch bag for you. You clasp his bicep and the two of you start walking towards the compound.

“You know the only thing that would make this better would be if you wore those red heels of yours on our date.”

“When have you seen me wear heels?” you ask looking at him, surprised. You wore flat boots to work every day. Blush tinges Bucky’s neck again.

“The last company party.” You remember that party, it was a few months ago, a couple of weeks after you’d been hired. You normally stuck to flats but that night you’d been brave enough to wear a beautiful pair of fire engine red heels. But after the tenth ‘Why are you wearing heels? You’re already so tall?’ you had left early with one of your friends who was trying to dodge her agent ex. Bucky clears his throat “I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been plotting on you for a while now, sugar.” He runs a hand through his hair.

“Hmm…” you pretend to think, “I guess I can grant your request.”

Bucky grins at you, winding his arm around your waist.

“Well this day just keeps on getting better and better.”

---

I would love nothing more than some feedback! Shout out to all my tall girls

[perriewinklenerdie]

At last (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

Author’s note: Here we are, the fluff train has arrived at its destination. The idea to write this came from listening to the beautiful song mentioned in this piece. My mind just can’t seem to stop coming up with ideas for Ethan and Claire, so that’s how we ended up here!

As always, English is not my first language, my MC is Clarissa “Claire” Herondale and my mind may have gone a little over the board for this one but oh well.

Enjoy! <3

 Word count: 2263

 Ethan knew there would be this grand ball to celebrate the end of this goddamn competition. He didn’t think he would be excited to attend, but when he got the message that Claire had won, that every judging doctor has chosen her, he couldn’t wait to see her face when she finds out that all of her hard work has paid off.

He noticed how some of the interns treated her. Her own roommate, dr. Varma, seemed to treat her like trash, her ambition not allowing her to maintain a decent behavior and relationship with someone obviously better than her.

His mind wandered to a certain night in Miami, his slip in his control. He remembered vividly the way her body fit perfectly next to his, it was as if they were made to be together. He remembered the way his name fell from her lips, the way her body felt under his hands. He couldn’t get enough of her in that moment.

Hell, he was sure that if he had the opportunity to do it again, he wouldn’t hesitate.

That night was the best night of his life to date. He knew he might never get the chance to have her in his arms, but he had his memories and stolen glances. It wasn’t enough but it helped him cope.

The ball night came. He put on his best tux, leaving his hair be, brushing it lightly to keep in neat.

Arriving to the event, he took a look around the room. He saw that surgical intern, the one that made him jealous time and time again, not having dr. Varma in his arms. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or if he felt sorry for the young man. He decided that he did both, equally.

Next to him was that paramedic, a young woman with black hair on his arm, he didn’t recognize her, but they did seem to get along.

He noticed Harper by the stage, talking to Zaid and Ines. He approached them slowly, trying to avoid bumping into anyone.

“Hi, Ethan! Excited?” Ines was always one of the doctors he simultaneously liked and couldn’t understand. She was so happy almost all the damn time but she was a great doctor, compassionate and eager to help interns. That’s why he liked her. She didn’t mind helping interns, taking some of his work in that department from his shoulders.

“Yes. I’m relieved it’s finally over. We can get over it and go back to the normal routine.” He murmured, avoiding direct eye contact. Harper smiled at them and went to take the stage.

“May I have your attention, please?” she spoke clearly into the microphone, gathering the attention of everyone in the room. “It’s time to announce the name of the intern that’s going to join the diagnostic team lead by dr. Ethan Ramsey.” The whole room cheered, clapping.

The lights shone on him. He bowed his head towards the crowd, turning away to look at Harper again.

“Congratulations, dr. Clarissa Herondale! From this Monday you’ll be working and learning from the best diagnosticians in this country.” She smiled genuinely as the young intern came up to stand next to her.

He hasn’t had the chance to see her yet tonight. And he almost wished he did. He didn’t expect the sight that was her. He wished he had some time to prepare.

She was wearing the dress. The same dress she wore in Miami. The same dress he kissed her in. The same dress he hiked up to touch her, pulling her closer to him.

She shook Harper’s hand and thanked her, said a few words, thanking everyone for trusting her with that responsibility and for giving her a chance.

“I’d also like to thank dr. Ramsey, for inspiring me to become a doctor, for watching over my work, pushing me to become the best doctor I could be, teaching me valuable lessons. It means the world to me. Thank you.” she looked at him, a genuine smile on her face. He nodded towards her, trying to cover up his raging emotions, a slight blush on his cheeks.

She went down the stage with Harper towards them. Ines took her in her arms, hugging her tightly.

“I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!” she smiled widely at her.

“Congratulations, Herondale. Good job.” Zaid shook her hand. Then she turned towards him. and his brain was fried.

He had no idea what to do, how to behave. A handshake was not enough, a hug might be too much. He opted for something in between.

Their hands met in a handshake, his other hand resting on her shoulder, squeezing her lightly.

“Congratulations, dr. Herondale. Welcome to the team.” The corners of his lips went up against his will.

“Thank you, dr. Ramsey. I hope I can rise to the challenge.”

“I know you’ll do good. You wouldn’t be here if we weren’t sure you would.“ she had a look of relief on her face. She bowed down slightly to them before walking away from them to join her friends.

He felt a hand on his arm. Turning, he saw Harper looking up at him, a teasing smile on her face.

“Are you ready?” she asked softly, keeping her voice quiet.

“Ready for what?”

“For finally admitting your feelings and acting on them.” He was stunned. Was he really that obvious?

“I…”

“Ethan. It’s nothing wrong. It’s okay to feel. The competition is over. There is nothing hanging over your heads. I say you should go for it and see what happens. In the worst case scenario, she doesn’t feel the same. But trust me. She does.” She offered him a kind smile before patting him on his back and leaving him alone to his thoughts.

The night was going smoothly. He kept a close eye on her. Noticed how she danced with a few of her friends. Normally he would get jealous, but he knew that he had nothing to worry about.

He spent most of his night observing other interns interacting with her. Dr. Varma had a disappointed look on her face but she did smile congratulate her, engaging in a conversation that ended with an embrace. Aurora Emery had relief written all over her face, he even saw her give Clarissa a hug.

Their eyes locked a couple of times during the evening, all sorts of emotions in them. He wanted nothing more than to walk up to her, talk to her. But there was still this fear in the back of his head.

Harper made him dance. He knew how, he was excellent at it, he just didn’t like to do it. The song came to its end and she thanked him for the dance, going off in the direction of the man managing the music. He turned around to leave the dancefloor when he came face to face with Claire. She had her arms folded over her chest, a soft smirk on her face.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re avoiding me.” She laughed at him, her humor was contagious. He felt his own lips curl in a soft smile, only for her.

“I’m not avoiding you. You were busy and I didn’t want to interrupt you.” he felt insecure all of the sudden, his mind still not functioning properly. “You look amazing.” He appraised her look, her cheeks reddening.

“Thank you… I deemed it fitting. Wouldn’t you agree?” she teased softly, her eyes revealing her insecurity. He knew what she was thinking about. He was thinking about the same thing. The same night.

They fell silent. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. He was never good at relationships. Women were a mystery to him. He almost bolted towards the door when they both heard the first notes of the new song.

Soft melody of “Beneath your beautiful” began playing, falling over them, setting the mood.

He turned towards her, extending his hand towards her, a question in his eyes. She placed her hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

He pulled her towards him, placing his other hand at her waist delicately, memories of the last time he did that flooding his mind. They stood closely together, looking into each other’s eyes.

He started guiding them together across the dancefloor slowly, dancing to the tune of the ballad.

It was as if there was no one else in the room except for them. There was only her for him in this room, in this world.

There was no point in denying his feelings anymore. It wouldn’t do anyone any good. He knew what he was feeling and while he couldn’t be sure what she was feeling, he was done with hiding.

As the song went on, their faces got closer and closer together, oblivious to the various looks they got from the people around them. His arms circled her waist, bringing her even closer, spinning her out before bringing her back to him.

The song reached its peak and he dipped her low, her hands on his arms, holding on to him, but she saw certainty in his eyes. She knew he would not drop her.

He brought her back up, turning slowly, their noses touching. They made the decision at the same time.

Their lips met. She inhaled sharply, bringing her fingers to his hair, soft strands tangling and falling through them. He couldn’t believe his luck.

He finally had her in his arms again. And this time round, there was no regrets. There was no one to tell him he shouldn’t be kissing her like his life depended on it. There was no voice in his head telling him to stop bringing her back towards him every time their lips came up for air. There was no one and nothing to stop him from making her his, except maybe for the fact that they were in the room full of people.

They separated as the song came to the close. Their eyes opened and locked, smiles on their faces. She touched her forehead to his, her hands still in his hair, moving to his neck, keeping him close.

“Claire…”

“If you’re going to tell me you can’t kiss me and you can’t be with me, I swear to god, Ethan, I’m going to hurt you.” she teased him, smiling.

“I’m not going to say that. I am not going to deny my feelings anymore. I feel strongly for you, Claire. You are important to me. I will cherish you and support you, if you want me to. If you let me” He whispered to her, tenderly, vulnerable and scared to be hurt. She placed her hands on his cheeks, bringing his lips to hers again.

“I want nothing more than to have you by my side. You are important to me too, Ethan.” She touched his nose slightly with her finger. A smile bloomed on his face, the biggest smile that anyone has ever seen him give to anyone.

They kept on dancing slowly when he felt someone tapping him on his shoulder. They turned to see Harper, Ines and Zaid standing there, their faces unreadable.

“Dr. Emery…” Claire started, but Harper raised her hand to stop her.

They all smiled, looking happy.

“I’m proud of you. Both of you.” Harper placed her hands on their shoulders, giving them a squeeze.

“Congratulations for both of you. I always knew you two would make a splendid couple!” Ines squealed, hugging both tightly.

“Nice, I’m happy for you.” Zaid, always a man of a few words, patted him on the back and touched her shoulder gently, a hint of a smile on his face.

Then they left, leaving the couple alone again. Not for long though. Few minutes passed and it was her friends that interrupted their dancing again. He looked over their faces, searching for any signs of disapproval, but surprisingly, he found none. Not sure if it was because they were happy for them or if they were just too scared to say anything to him.

“Claire, finally! You two are the most stubborn people I know!” Sienna cried out, hugging her best friend and looking happily at him, not wanting to cross the line. Good, he appreciated it.

They all proceeded to hug her, Bryce and Rafael shook his hand. He kept his arm around her throughout the whole ordeal, hugging her to his side.

“I’m happy for you. Both because of the competition and this.” Dr. Varma admitted, looking between the two of them. He was surprised. Out of all her friends, he expected her to make a scene once she found out about their blooming relationship.

“Thanks guys, it really means a lot to me.” She smiled brightly at them. The bid them goodbye, leaving the pair alone to themselves.

He turned towards her again, his arms back around her, pulling her closely to him. She laid her head on his shoulder, their bodies swaying from side to side, dancing the night away. At last, he didn’t have to hide. At last, he could openly express his feelings towards her.

At last, he could be happy.

  Tag list:   @paleweasels, @lilyofchoices, @hopelessromantic1352, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian, @radlovedreamer, @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @palestazure, @galaxiia-quean, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @fangirlingmum, @claudevonstruke, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @noneotherthanthejoker, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @bucket-harrington, @marywrites-things, @ethanplaysfavorites, @mfackenthal, @betelgeusebee, @simsvetements, @fabi-en-ciel, @confessionsofabrokegirl

If you want me to tag you, let me know and if I forgot to tag anyone, tell me so I can correct that!  :D

[kpoptionate]

skz ➾ boyfriend!jeongin

stray kids masterlist // official masterlist

07.27.18

requested: anon: hello! could you do a boyfriend! jeongin thing? thankssss 💖

a/n: this got kinda long boiiii but thank you for requesting !!! jeongin has such a big soft spot in my heart uwu

woojin // bangchan // minho // changbin // hyunjin // jisung // felix // seungmin // jeongin

______________________________

y a n g  j e o n g i n

ghjs okay

he is literally the cutest lil bub ever

he knows you from school, he recognizes you and all

but y’all don’t talk very often

mostly bc he’s too shy bc he thinks you’re so cute and funny and !!!!

so the semester’s almost over

he really like really really wants to spend time with you during break

but ofc he’s suuuuuuuuper shy about it so his plan is to just not ask

because if you actually wanted to hang with him you’d say something, right ?

his friends are not having it tho

so these little hoes decide it’s gonna be a great idea to go talk to you for him !

“hey, y/n ! you know jeongin, right ?”

and they tell you all about how he likes you but he’s too shy to ask you out and all that good tea stuff

you tell him that hey ! you actually think jeongin’s pretty cool too !

so his friends freak out and you all plan that you’re gonna ask jeongin to hang

y’all are in the same class, so in between teachers ? you walk up to his desk and lean on your hands

“so jeongin, i was thinking maybe we could hand out this weekend or something ? i really wanna get to know you”

!!!!!

this boi !!!!!

his heart goes boom boom and his brain goes what what and his mouth goes “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

cause he doesn’t know what to say

his head kinda shoots up when he snaps out of it after you stare at him with a confident grin

“y-yeah, i’d love to !”

so y’all meet up at the park at like noon i almost spelled it newn smh

he gets there earlier than he was supposed to just in case

and he starts freaking out a little bit when he sees you skipping up to him with the cutest smile on your face and like the cutest outfit ever

y’all don’t do much for a bit, just kinda sit on the swings for some time, getting to know each other

it ends up with the two of you running around like children chasing each other

getting mixed reactions from the people around you

most with adoration because aw ! young love, how could one not

some with annoyance bc y’all are literally like seventeen acting like you’re five, grow up

y’all just goof around for hours

before y’all know it the sun’s setting

i really need to stop saying y’all, y’all come help me please

wiping your sweat from your foreheads and laughing, you decide to go to a little diner in town

you guys get some burgers and a big ass basket of fries to share

he really wants to do something cliché soooo

he orders a big ass milkshake too !

with two straws !

he’s lowkey kinda embarrassed about it but you giggle and say it’s cute so you guys share the milkshake even though you just got to really know each other today but it’s okay because it’s jeongin, who wouldn’t

after about another two or so hours and it’s officially dark outside he wants to hang out more but also wants you to get some rest

so you agree to let him walk you back to your place

now here’s where it gets even more cliché

when you get up to your doorstep you hold his hands in yours cue him struggling to hold in a scream and tell him that you had a great time tonight

he’s all “yeah i did too”

he really wants to ask you the big question™ but is really nervous because again, you just got to know each other today, so he keeps his mouth shut

you bid him a cute lil goodbye and kiss him on the cheek before you turn to go inside

which f l u s h e s his cheeks like you wouldn’t believe

his heart’s pounding like there’s a stereo in his chest

and at this point he’s not even thinking, his body’s moving on its own as he grabs your wrist and turns you around

cups your cheek

and s h o v e s his lips onto yours

it’s with a little more force than he had meant ? but he quickly softened it up

the kiss was kinda long, not in a bad way though

he nervously smiled into it a few seconds before he pulled away, staring into your eyes trying to hide a huge grin

“so, y/n, do you, um . . . maybe wanna go out with me ?”

of course you said yes

so you pecked his lips one last time before smiling and going inside

leaving him staring at the door dumbfounded with the biggest, cheekiest grin on his face

so

that was long, but now you two are the cutest couple ever !

veryyyyy cliché if you didn’t catch that already

probably gets you lots of cute things like flowers and stuff

if you’re lucky on your ann. he’ll get you a puppy :D

doesn’t usually buy you things, though ? he prefers showing you how much he loves you through emotions and words rather than physical items

that being said, he definitely waits months before saying i love you

mainly because he’s shy, but also because you’re probably his first real relationship and he wants to be ready, he doesn’t want to scare you off

and when he finally does, he’s not the first one to say it

again, because he’s shy

he gets really flustered when you say it first and he lets out a quiet “i love you too”

and you’re all “what i can’t hear you”

and he goes “i saiD I LOVE YOU TOO DAMMIT”

probably without the dammit bc he doesn’t come off as someone who cusses but i mean who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

after that expect him to say ily a million times a day

even though he still gets really red every time but it’s super cute

dates with him are small and cute

lots of ice cream dates and trips to the amusement park

probably takes you to the n. seoul tower at some point

as much as he likes going out to have fun with you, he’s also perfectly okay staying back at the dorms

like a movie’ll be playing while y’all run around and chase each other with water guns it usually ends up with both of y’all slipping and bustin your asses on the floor

afterwards you probably make like brownies or something

usually ending up not cooking anything at all because you got it all over each other or ate the batter before you could put it in the pan smh

really loves cooking with you, especially big meals for the members

speaking of the members they absolutely adore you

they think you’re just too cute !! they can really tell how happy you make jeongin he never stops talking about you, sometimes to the point where it’s annoying but it’s heartwarming either way

you’re like a little sister to them

they tease you guys a lot and take lots of pictures because what else would parents do

they’re usually of you two sleeping or cuddling

which you guys do a lotttttttttttt

cuddling can go either way with jeongin

sometimes he likes to be the big spoon, he likes the feeling of your back pressed against his chest

especially when you sit in between his legs and you lean your heads on each other’s shoulder, you playing with his fingers as his arms are draped around your waist

other times he likes to be the little spoon, he needs affection and to feel loved in order to function properly what a cute bub

loves laying his head in your lap while you play with his hair

especially late at night when you’re by yourselves in the dorm and you can talk about anything

your nights usually end up with you two like that or lying down in that one position you see in the movies a lot

where you’re opposite vertical but your heads are right beside each other and your hands folded over your stomachs

like 7L but with the L shifted upwards if any of that makes sense

anyway

y’all’ll lie like that and talk for hours about everything and nothing

it’s usually only one of you guys talking though while the other person listens

it’s mostly about your day and stuff like that, but he also isn’t afraid to talk about you guys’ future

if you’re there with him, he can’t sleep without being beside you and holding you in some way

whether it’s just lacing your fingers together or full on cuddling, he loves it

usually he likes to lie face to face because he just loves looking at you

he’ll brush your hair out of your face while whispering how beautiful you are, hoping you can’t hear it

but you do don’t tell him though, you’re gonna embarrass the poor thing

doesn’t like to fall asleep before you

so once he notices that you’re breathing’s slowed into a rhythm he’ll scoot closer to you and hold you, burying your face into his shoulder as he rests his chin on top of your head

sometimes he wakes up before you, sometimes not, depending on how much sleep he’s gotten lately or if he has to work in the morning

if he does he��ll help one of the guys make you breakfast for when you wake up

if nottttttttt

then y’all are sleeping in til dinner

you usually wake up before him and brush his hair, back admiring his features

his beautiful forehead, long eyelashes, plump lips, prominent cheekbones and jawline

like his facial structure has changed soooo much since the show like he literally looked like a baby and now he’s getting so much older looking ???

i’m telling y'all he’s gonna have one of the biggest glow ups in kpop history

like he’s so beautiful now imagine how he’s gonna be five years from now holy shit

“it’s kinda creepy to stare at people while they’re sleeping, y/n”

his voice startles you which just makes him give you a lazy smile and hug you close to him

his morning voice is also probably pretty damn woah like honestly

when he pulls you closer he’ll plant a long kiss on your forehead and y’all just sit there for a while til one of y’all has to pee and can’t hold it anymore

forehead kisses

he does that a lot

kiss your face

your cheek, temple, nose, forehead, hands, you name it

your lips as well, of course, but not as often

like i’ve said a gazillion times already, he’s shy

so unless it’s like a peck or something short and sweet, you’re not gonna get lip kisses a lot

when you do tho

it’s so sweet

he’ll gently cup your cheeks with his hands and peck your lips once or twice before giving you a longer kiss

it’s very light and cute

he’ll do that a few times before finally giving you a longer kiss

holding your face closer than before to deepen it

he tries to make it more like other people do but he’s innocent, not that it’s a problem of course

y’all probably don’t run out of breath, he doesn’t go that far

when you guys finally pull away he gives a few more playful pecks before bringing his lips to your forehead and then your nose

then pull back to look at you, presenting a cute dimpled grin from ear to ear

he’s probably embarrassed at how red he is but it’s okay because you both are and it’s cute

okay so jeongin is super super cute and sweet and adorable and loveable and ashfjkdshfs

he loves taking care of you but you have to take care of him too

he love love love love love love love love love love love loves you to the end of the galaxy and back

and isn’t afraid to show it

well he might be nervous and shy

but you get the idea

please love him as much as he does you

okay i’m done

i love you

<3

[sclfmastery]

The Loom

“It- it works… HA! It’s done! Fixed, repaired, stable, SORTED-AH! HAHA! I’VE DONE IT!”

He’s speaking to no one at all, but that hardly matters to him- generally if found muttering to himself, or in this case exclaiming loudly in an otherwise empty workspace, he’d cover his proverbial tracks by insisting he were speaking to the TARDIS instead.

In fact he supposes he still is, and the TARDIS hums with pride and a slight tint of ’I told you so, you daft old Time Lord’, in reference to the part she insisted he purchase at their last stop to an intergalactic market in the Nevia District. The piece he thought they could do without, a piece he argued relentlessly that they didn’t need, primarily due to the nature of how difficult it was to find one in the first place.

It wasn’t easy to replace Time Lord technology when himself and his counterpart were the only two living Time Lords in the known Universe. He hadn’t believed the ship when she’d insisted she’d sought one out successfully and he’d been petulant about the fact she’d proven him wrong.

Eventually, though, he’d put his trust in his time ship and taken them to the market in question, elated to find that it hadn’t been a false lead as all the others in the past had been. He’d even managed to keep his mouth shut about it, a secret between himself and the TARDIS which, given his proclivity for garrulous vocabulary was a feat in and of itself. He’d simply purchased a plethora of circuitry and microchips for the console unit itself while he’d been out shopping.

But he’s done it, with a few hiccups along the way [including the time he thoroughly electrocuted himself in an attempt to circumvent the exact part in question by fiddling with the biodata nodule from the Chameleon Arch and lost his memory temporarily, as well as fried the nodule], and with more help from his husband than he would ever care to admit aloud, and now… Oh. Now. NOW! Sprites and supernovas, forest-filled planets, the beginning of creation all the way up until the planets collide and every star in every star system collapses in on itself- nothing holds a proverbial candle to the satisfaction, the allure, the vividness, the absolute vision that is this moment.

The manic grin that graces the Doctor’s features in this moment can only be described by a stranger as absolutely terrifying, but to a friend, a lover, a husband, it would be absolutely charming. Well, alright, not charming- probably still a bit terrifying to anyone who knew him well enough or not well at all, either or. Regardless of all that, he’s positively beaming and the elation he feels is most certainly bleeding through their marital bond.

It’s a miracle he’s managed to keep his activities a secret for as long as he has but now that he’s finished the Loom, he can’t help but let his telepathic frequency shimmer and coil, flash and bang, sing out the entropy of their combined crimson and cerulean in ultraviolet splendor.

The grin spreads until the chocolate brown of his eyes ignites from behind and he gives a veritable pirouette as he jumps into the air, revolves a full three-hundred-and-sixty degrees mid-air and lands facing the now-fully-functional genetic Loom. He wants to encircle the contraption with his arms, hug it to him for its’ ability to even exist in the first place, plant a kiss against one of the metal components but he doesn’t dare- he doesn’t want to do anything that might break it or jeopardize its integrity in the slightest.

Instead, he performs a total about-face and proceeds to run from the room full-tilt, hair more disheveled than usual, pinstripes a rumpled and wrinkled mess with is tie lost among the fray and the buttons of his white oxford undone by nearly half, the result of working for the past… well, he isn’t sure how long he’s been in there with the Loom, if he’s entirely honest, but he knows it’s been quite a while given that his stomach is growling and he’s properly exhausted.

“KOS!” he shouts, his voice echoing down the hall as he calls out to his bondmate, the TARDIS going eerily silent in the wake of his pure joy, temporarily forgetting in his excitement that he can simply call out with his mind instead, “I’ve done it! It’s working, it’s finally working!! KOS?!”

The Master rolls out from under a massive prototype for a TARDIS-independent hovercraft (complete with isomorphic controls, of course), which he has been myopically slaving upon since that Nevia District visit.  He opted out of that shopping trip, on the principle that the market vendors famously had never heard of silk, and his haute couture sensibilities were deeply offended.

Right now, however, he sports several splotches of grease on round cheeks, and a most puzzled look.  It’s not as if the Doctor doesn’t warble and screech at regular intervals.  But the plan had been to create a toast-making device superior in all ways to a human toaster, and well, Koschei isn’t sure even Theta would be that enthusiastic over completing such a task.  

So, with a perhaps comical suspicion, the Master folds and stands.  He grabs a rag and wipes the engine grease off his face and fingers.  He tosses it over a shoulder and saunters out into the corridor.

    “Here! HERE, you daft cuckoo bird! What in Rassilon’s Boxers . . . ?” 

A shockwave of iridescent cerulean hits his brain.  He feels, smells, sunlight, joy, shattering rocket cinders,  falling glistening  from a night sky. Something along those lines, bright and immutable.  

And he knows.  

    “Oh my God. Thete? THETE, is it--?”

He stops, feet planted apart, hands feeling suddenly aimless and empty, hungry to be filled with something, someone. 

    “The Loom, it’s the Loom?” 

He can’t seem to manage more than a husky whisper.  

    “Really?”

What will he sound like, what will she enjoy reading? What will be his favorite color?  Her aspirations?  Will they love macaroni or mashed potatoes?  Will there be family Christmas photos? 

Will Koschei be a good enough father? 

Or is he doomed to the touch of a Destroyer? 

Oh, but he can’t stop his own feet from moving. 

He rushes his best friend in an embrace; to the Doctor’s pirouette is the Master’s gazelle-leap, almost weightless, into his arms.  He gasps and chokes, and cannot breathe.  His respiratory bypass activates; how odd that ecstasy can cause hyperventilation.  He laughs, loud, unrehearsed, boyish.

And then, very sharply, he pinches the Doctor’s sides. 

    “You PUMPKIN! Why didn’t you TELL me you were back on that project? I wanted to HELP!”