#I go to the professors and I say ‘hi I am having a legitimately hard time reading these required readings’

[wooshofficial]

Begging professors to think about the legibility of the scans their making before sending them to the class

[topguncortez]

The Professor | Chapter 4

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synopsis: You and Professor Seresin now have a system going, but how long can the secret relationship stay a secret.

word count: 3k

warnings: age gap, power imbalance, mentions of smut, making out, cursing.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks of Jake finding himself deep inside his student really, at his convenience. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel about it. He was never one for just random hookups when he was young. Him and Allison had been together since his freshman year. She had only been the third woman he had been with, the other two were high school girlfriends. Throughout his relationship with Allison, there had been times where they had broken up, and Jake found himself in bed with another woman, but again, that only happened about twice. He wasn’t really sure how to navigate the world of “just sex”, but he slowly caught on. 

The first night after fucking you, he really didn’t think you were going to leave so soon. He was used to girls hanging around at least for a little bit, some pillow talk, maybe a glass of wine and round two, then he would walk them to their cars and kiss them goodnight. But after you declined his invitation to shower with him, he quickly understood the rules to the agreement. In fact, you had laid it pretty clear to him the next day. 

“It’s simple, we fuck when we need it. Having a bad day? Yes. Hard as a rock at 11:30? Sure. One of your students said that Shakespeare isn’t real? I’m down. Just send the text,” You said and told him the emojis to use. 

The first time he did send the text he thought it was very juvenile to use an eggplant and a water droplet, but it was something simple that wouldn’t distract from the various messages about grades and homework assignments. He waited patiently for you to show up, and was surprised when you promptly arrived ten minutes after the message. After screwing every legitimate thought out of your mind, Jake offered to watch a movie again, but you were sliding your panties up your legs (you took them off this time, not being able to afford another pair of ripped ones). 

“Okay, listen old timer, I know they didn’t do hookups back in the-” 

“I am only 35,” He rolled his eyes, “And for your information, I did hookups when I was your age. Though the women were much less annoying and demanding than-” 

“Sorry I’m not going to pretend like you are doing something when in reality you are just rubbing my left lip.” 

“I think I found your clit pretty eas-” 

“Like I said, this is a hookup. Means you or I text one another, we come over, we fuck, we leave. There is no staying, there is no post sex cuddling, besides you sweat like a whore in Church.” 

“Again, when I am doing most of the-” 

“I was on top this time so you can’t even use that excuse.” 

Jake huffed and rolled his eyes, “You can find your way out.” 

“Im taking this,” You said and grabbed the sweatshirt he was wearing from the floor, and slipped it over your head. Jake watched as you grabbed your keys and baseball cap that you wore over. Once again, he didn’t walk you out, but peered out the window to make sure you got to your car safely. He also texted you to let him know when you got home safely. And you’d never admit it, but you smiled at your phone as you read the message. 

Jake had guessed that the deal to relieve some tension was working. He had heard many of his students say that they noticed a change in his attitude. He was less angry, more willing to actually have a conversation about grades and topics and not call you stupid in the process.

Jake felt like there was a weight off his shoulders as well. He had more time to work on his next research paper with his friend Bob, and didn’t have to spend hours upon hours trying to decipher what first years were trying to say. He also noticed himself smiling, just a bit more than usual. Some chalked it up to his divorce finally going through, which he did celebrate with bending you over his desk at home, but it was more than just that. 

“Many of you probably know this TV show, but it is a modern day example of Hamlet,” Jake said as he presented the slide. 

“Jax fucking Teller,” You whispered to Lucy. Jake looked over at you. He was yet to meet Lucy, but from all the times you had mentioned her, he felt like he knew her. 

“I’d let him do sinful things to me,” Lucy said back. 

“Miss Y/N,” Jake said interrupting the conversation, “Care to explain why Jax Teller is a good example of Hamlet?” 

You licked your lips as you sat a bit. The outfit you decided on today was something simple, a pair of black biker shorts and one of Jake’s old college sweatshirts. He had to refrain from looking at your ass as you bent over earlier to pick up your pencil. Somehow, you had managed to get Jake to start allowing note taking, and the whole class was thankful. 

“Jax is a perfect example of Hamlet because of what happened to his father. He’s a tortured old soul with daddy issues,” You spoke and batted your eyelashes at him. Lucy had to bite back a smirk as Jake cleared his throat. 

“Pay attention,” Jake said and turned back around. 

“Yes professor,” You said softly. Jake closed his eyes and started thinking about anything other than hearing those words come out of your mouth as you were on your knees for him. 

“If you read the assigned chapters, you should know what this slide is referring to.” 

Jake was running late as he walked into the dimly lit bar. It was hardly crowded for a Wednesday night, but there was a good sized crowd. He easily spotted his friend Bob sitting at the bar chatting with Bradley. He looked up from the glass he was cleaning and shot Jake a bright smile. 

“Look who decided to show up!” Bradley cheered and Jake shook his head. 

“Some of us have real jobs, Bradshaw,” Jake grumbled and took off his suit coat, “Whiskey neat please.” 

“And some of us aren’t miserable robots working a useless system,” Bradley said and poured Jake his drink. 

Bradley Bradshaw was a smart man, a very smart man. He and Jake had gone to school together, though they studied different majors, they were in the same fraternity, so they saw each other often and had another mutual friend, Bob Floyd, who was studying astrophysics. Bradley was in his last semester of law school, already having completed and passed the Bar exam, when he came home one day to their shitty apartment in Chestnut Hill and announced he had dropped out. Bob and Jake thought he was joking, it wasn’t unlike Bradley to joke around like that. But he showed them the paperwork as proof. 

“What the hell are you going to do?” Jake asked him, “Work at the bar for the rest of your life?” 

“Yep,” Bradley smiled and sat back on the couch. 

And that’s exactly what Bradley did. He worked at the “Main Street Bar” as a bartender all throughout undergrad and grad school. In fact, nearly three years ago, Bradley had become the owner of the bar when the previous one passed. Jake hated to admit it, but he had never seen Bradley so happy in his life, than when he was behind the bar or playing the piano. He envied Bradley for being happy with such a rash choice. 

“Have you had a chance to look over that-” 

“Hey, what’s the rules?” Bradley said, cutting Bob off. 

“It’s not like I’m going to ask him for his dissertation notes, I just wanna know if he got my email,” Bob said and rolled his eyes. Bob had gotten his PhD in physics and also taught at Boston College. Bob was a science nerd, Jake could vividly remember the day Bob moved into the frat house and put his Star Trek sheets on his bed. Bob was quiet, shy and almost scary smart. 

“I got the email, but I was a bit busy this afternoon,” Jake answered. 

“Busy?” Bradley asked, and Jake nodded wordlessly, “You got a girl.” 

“No, I don’t,” He rolled his eyes. 

“Liar,” Bradley smirked, “Moving on so quickly after Ally? Lemme guess. . . you and Natasha finally stopped playing your stupid “i’m in town, lets fuck” game and got together.” 

“It’s not Natasha,” Jake said, rolling his eyes again. 

Natasha Trace was their other friend all three of them had in common. All four of them had met in a freshman stats class, and had just stuck together after that. Natasha was the only female of the group, and the three boys had decided early on they weren’t going to try and make a move on her. But Jake only half listened to that promise. Him and Natasha snuck around a bit, until he met Allison. Natasha was also the only one of the group who didn’t go to Boston College, instead, after getting her undergrad in Military science, she joined the Navy. Whenever she was in town though, Jake always made a plan to seek her out. 

“It’s not Allison, again, is it?” Bob asked. 

“No, god no,” Jake scoffed, “It’s uh. . . it’s a friends with benefits thing.” 

“Certainly didn’t have that in my cards,” Bradley smirked, “At Least you aren’t hung up about Ally. I hate to say this now, but I never liked her.” 

Neither did I, Jake said to himself. 

“So, who is she?” Bradley asked, “Someone we know?” 

“No,” Jake mumbled, “Listen, I don’t want-” Jake’s speech was cut off as his phone rang. He looked up at Bradley for a moment, before they both reached for his phone, but Bradley was quicker than him, “Bradshaw give it back.” 

“Oh shit! Is this her? ‘Miss Thing’?” Bradley laughed. Jake shook his head, you had called yourself that once and he thought it was funny, “No passcode Jakey, tsk, tsk, dangerous,” Bradley scolded him, “Oh shit! Emojis! Bob, he got sent emojis!” 

“Bradley, really give it back.” 

“Nah this is just too good,” Bradley cackled, and continued scrolling, “Damn this is like every single . . wait. . . ‘Did you have a chance to look over the first draft notes I sent? Do you think it looks good?,” Jake reached out for his phone again, but Bradley pushed his arm away, “Seresin, are you fucking your student?” 

“Holy shit,” Bob said. 

“No, just,” Jake sighed, “Yes, but it’s not like that. It’s just for stress relief.” 

“Jake, that isn’t-” 

“Way to fucking go, Seresin!” Bradley laughed, cutting Bob off, “Finally doing something cool with your life.” 

Bob shook his head, “Jake, you can’t be doing that. What if-” 

“I know,” Jake shook his head. He had thought about what could happen if people find out that he was fucking his student it could all end badly. You and Jake had even talked about the dangers of being caught, which was why they made a promise to not do anything on campus, and always after 7PM. Jake swirled his whiskey in his glass, “We talked about it. And it’s strictly sex, I’m not doing her any favors. Only other thing she’s doing for me is helping me grade first year papers.” 

“But she’s still your student, Jake.” 

“She won’t be like a couple months,” Bradley shrugged, “You're half through the semester, she won’t be taking your class again unless she completely fails it. I don’t see a problem with getting to know your students.” 

Bob scoffed and shook his head. 

“Bob, I need you not to tell anyone. She consented all on her own, I didn’t force her. She knows that she can stop at any time and without consequence,” Jake said to his friend. Bob looked at him and clenched his jaw.

“Fine,” Bob said, and drank down the rest of his glass, “Well what are you still doing sitting here? She sent you emojis.” 

Jake cracked a smile and Bradley handed his phone back. He said goodbye to them before heading out of the bar. Your car was already sitting on the street when he arrived. He didn’t mind that you always came to him, and he hadn’t seen your house, save for the time he dropped you off one night. You said that it was too risky for him to be there with your roommate and her boyfriend around. Jake whistled to himself as he opened the door to his house and jogged up the stairs. 

“Took you long enough,” You said as Jake opened the bedroom door to find you in nothing but lace red bra and panties. Jake felt himself stiffen in his dress pants. 

“Where did you get this?” Jake said and gestured towards her undergarments. 

“Someone left a card with some cash in my backpack and said ‘buy something nice. And red’ on it,” You smirked and pushed yourself up on your knees at the edge of the bed. Jake walked over, his hands going straight for your hips. 

“Glad you spent it on more than just alcohol,” He nodded. 

You rolled your eyes and ran your hands over the expensive dress shirt he was wearing. Your hands helped push his suit coat off and landed on the floor. Grabbing his face softly in your hands, you pulled him in for a kiss. His hands went to your ass, squeezing it in his hands. You gasp and he slips his tongue into your mouth. Jake leans you back on the soft bed, and your legs wrapped around his waist pulling his hips to be flush with yours. You moaned at the feeling of his already erect cock hitting your core. 

“You’re needy, you know that,” Jake laughed, “Already wet for me and I didn’t even do anything. 

“I sit in class and listen to you rant about stupid shit and get turned on,” You admited. 

“Really?” Jake asked, and you nodded, “Gonna have to show me next time. But for now,” He grabbed your hips and turned you around so you were on your front, he slapped your ass making you jump slightly, “That didn’t even hurt, quit acting like it did.” 

“You going to fuck me or talk the whole time?” You looked over your shoulder, “Cause I can leave and finish this job myself. My vibrator does a pretty nice job.” 

“One, shut up,” Jake said as he discarded his dress shirt, and trousers, “Two, bring your vibrator next time, I want to use it,” He slid his boxers down his legs and climbed on top of you. You sucked in a breath as his hands spread your cheeks apart. He groaned at the sight of your wet cunt. He ran a finger through your slit, and before pushing it into your opening. He pumped his finger in and out of you a bit, working you open for him. When he felt like you were ready, he lined his cock up with your weeping hole. 

“Three, I will always fuck you,” He slid into you with ease. Every time he fucked you, it was easier for him to slide into your cunt, your body now getting use to his size. It was still a bit of a stretch, and Jake waited just a moment for you to adjust to his size, starting off slow and working up to a faster more brutal pace that had you screaming his name. 

Derek was being pushed to the side and he couldn’t stand it. At first, he summed it up to you being busy with your studies. Everyone was busy as it was nearing midterms, stressing out on whether or not they should continue with certain classes, trying hard to make high marks on their upcoming exams and papers. You hadn’t been out drinking on Friday nights with Lucy and Zeke like normal. You also didn’t leave class with him and Lucy either, almost always staying after class to talk to Professor Seresin. 

Professor Seresin. Derek hated him. Derek had spent nearly six hours writing on his last paper, even having it looked at by the writing and media center, and sent it in before the due date, and ended up getting an F on it. Derek had tried to ask Professor Seresin for an explanation on the grade, since he didn’t believe in rubrics or giving proper feedback. But Professor Seresin merely dismissed Derek and others and told them his famous line of “drop date is coming up soon.” 

“Do you think something is going on with Y/N and Professor Seresin?” Derek asked Zeke  as the two of them walked to class. Zeke looked over at his friend and shrugged, “It’s just. . . she’s ignoring me again. She hasn’t invited me over in weeks!” 

“Maybe because she doesn’t like you,” Zeke laughed. 

“She likes me.” 

“No dude, she doesn’t. Lucy tells me nearly everything they talk about. And Y/N does not like you,” Zeke answered as he opened the door to one of the lecture halls, “And why are you here so early? Your class isn’t for. . . another hour?” 

“Going to talk to Professor Seresin,” Derek said, “Ask him about this stupid lecture quiz grade. But I’ll see you later.” 

Zeke nodded to Derek and went his separate way towards his class. Derek walked up to the floor of Professor Seresin’s office. He had rehearsed what he was going to say over and over. He was going to demand that Professor Seresin explained the reasoning for his grades and that he raise the grade of his last quiz. Derek fixed the collar of his sweatshirt as he arrived outside the door. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but froze, seeing two people through the crack in the blinds. He squinted as he moved his body over to the side a bit, so he could see through the blinds easier. 

“Holy shit,” Derek’s eyes widened as he saw you perched on Professor Seresin’s lap, your hands tangled in his hair, and his lips on yours, “Jesus Christ. . . no wonder he’s been so nice lately. He’s fucking my girl.”

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[celestemagnoliathewriter]

#26 for any hogwarts professor 😁

Thanks for the ask, @evesaintyves!

Since 26 is a freebie question, I'll go with #8 and Severus Snape.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

All right, so laying out the cards right away: I am truly very neutral about Severus Snape. I don't hate him and I don't think he's an evil bag of evil. I also don't think he's the greatest character, though he is certainly one of the most interesting ones in the series.

I would say that what I hate that the fandom does with Snape is swing too far in either direction of worship or hatred. I think hatred is where I see a lot of people land, and though I'm not Snape's biggest fan, I don't think the hatred is necessary. Dislike, yes, but outright hatred and writing him to be an evil gargoyle stuffed with tons of evil little slugs that all poop evil, is just not right to me.

It also speaks volumes to me that Snape is not conventionally attractive by any means, and while he is hyper complex, I don't see people woobifying him or making him into a soft boy like they do with Regulus or Barty Crouch Jr. Or Evan Rosier. Or any of those "Slytherin Skittles." We have a truly grey character on our hands, and the best I see from a lot of the Marauders fandom is hatred and dismissal of him, in favor of conventionally attractive boys.

Anyway.

Snape is arguably one of the most interesting characters in the entire series. He's a dick, but he's got a clever and dry sense of humor. He's a potions genius, but he's not a kind man. He's not a fuzzy or cute character, but he plays a pivotal role and he plays it well.

I have compassion for Severus. He grew up poor alongside Lily, and then he got sorted into the worst possible house for his social situation. Not only was he a half-blood, but a poor one, so he would've had to work hard to get to the point of being socially accepted. Even then, he was never truly going to fit in because of his blood status and poverty. I'm confident he had a difficult time as a young Slytherin, who was BFFs with a Muggleborn, and that was made worse by the terrorizing Marauders.

No, Snape isn't innocent, either. Remus (a VERY flawed character, we all know) said Snape gave as good as he got. But remember how unreliable of a narrator Remus is - he's going to say and do whatever it takes to save face. Snape created some truly nasty spells and presumably used them. He called Lily a Mudblood, but to put that in context, it was after James put soap in his mouth, hung him upside down, and threatened to take his pants off. Pants = underpants, so that's even worse to expose someone like that in front of a crowd.

My issue with adult Snape is that he's a gigantic shithead at the kids. On the one hand, I totally get the need to be strict in an environment like the potions lab, where one mistake could literally melt people's faces off. On the other hand, it's extremely cruel to make fun of children and bully them. I'm sure he had lots of amusement from his own quips, which are legitimately funny sometimes, but it's still such a dick move to make fun of kids.

That doesn't make him evil. It just makes him human (and petty AF). I don't write him often because I don't feel I get his voice right, but when I have written him, I try to have some compassion, as well as some critique, because while Snape is not a bucket of sunshine and rainbows, he has a critical role and without it, Harry couldn't have succeeded.

Character Ask Game

[klonoadreams]

so like I know I went on about Sawyer and all of my weird Unovan headcanons/worldbuilding/ideas, but here are some others, since again, I’ve played Black and White since the game was out in Japan, going through the English patches and also just counting down the months until it released in NA.

So some of the headcanons I had was like... I’ll put a readmore here for convenience

Fun fact, you know how I said Mama was like built different? yeaaaars ago (i was like fifteen, still baby), I was like “Okay, I need a name for her, but what.”

and then I decided “Alright Bulbapedia, what you got for me”

PERFECT.

And since then, Mama was just named Monta, which could’ve possibly come from モンスター, or monster. Which again, looking at it now with how I’ve told you Mama is built different...YEAH. :V That’s her as a kid (this is totally not me just indulging in the idea of Mama being a massive tomboy who got dirty and didn’t even bother letting her hair grow out for SO long grhjgfk SHHHHH)

Anyways give it up for Monta - or Mama, which is what Sawyer accidentally calls her and it just sticks. (it’s embarrassing, but Mama just pats her on the head)

Moving on, because at the time, all we had were the BW Players Japanese names, I would just call them Touya and Touko - which, fun fact - their names mean the same thing, which is to fight...their names are just gender flipped versions of each other. This and their resemblance to each other, is why it was common to portray them as twins. Just in case anyone wonders, because in other areas, they are not at all related (like in the Pokemon Adventures manga).

It’s hard for me to let it go for Hilda and Hilbert, which is why I still call them Touya and Touko. And yes, these are clearly Japanese names, hence the headcanon I have of these two being of Japanese descent (or effectively, what is the Pokemon world equivalent of such).

And how does this carry over from Professor Juniper??? Because I ALSO effectively meshed her names together, except Juniper is her GIVEN name, her surname is actually Araragi. Her father is Araragi Sr.

So in Araragi Sr’s case, his given name is Cedric, but at the end of the day, this is the Araragi family. :V (and where’s Mama in all this? She passed away years ago, from an illness, but the family has since moved on from this - it’s why they were ALL just busy with research and other stuff for a good chunk of their earlier years)

and then there’s Alder (or Adeku, as I would call him back then)

Idk what it was (maybe his clothes), but I always saw this guy as being Mexican, or Indigenous Mexican and never looked back on that. :V

I still haven’t changed my mind about that, however, an addendum - because of Legends Arceus giving us this beauty

(apart from the confirmation that Maxie and Archie have been divorced through the ages, to the point I legitimately think they’ve reincarnated)

Seeing as Hisui (later, Sinnoh) is effectively Hokkaido, this would imply Japanese ancestry in Alder to some extent. So again, I’m just saying “yeah, that still stays” because Mexico also has a Japanese population. In fact, one of my favorite snacks - Japanese styled peanuts - came to be because of a Japanese immigrant living in Mexico. They’re a staple in certain snack foods, like tostilocos :V

While on this train of thought - fun fact, the Alder Moth, where Alder gets his name from in the English localization, can actually be found in Japan - specifically Honshu and Hokkaido. :V

Anyways what I’m saying is we’ve come full fucking circle. in some way.

But also, now Sawyer genuine joins the group of OCs that are Mexican-Japanese, because I went “why the hell not” (friendly reminder that I am indigenous Mexican, the only thing American - from the States - about me is that I was born here in California).

Since I’ve already stated that Sawyer was a twin switched out at birth with a stillborn by Team Plasma as a bargaining chip for Ghetsis to have on Alder, more to it is that - remember, the Elgyem line was introduced in Unova. Consider that they can manipulate memories, in case anyone wonders how it was easy for them to just switch out Sawyer like that. The timing of it was never intentional, but when Ghetsis sees an opening, HE TAKES IT.

So he’s part of the reason why Alder hasn’t been doing that well, since hey - remember how Benga got added to the family. Add to the death of one of his Pokemon years later, and he just...wanders around aimlessly. He still comes home, but he’s really taking it hard. (you can only imagine the anger and RELIEF he feels when he finds out about Sayer)

So anyways, while Sawyer looks like her mama (much like Touya), she does take after Alder in skin tone - being someone who tans easily (Touya also tans, but his default tones lean towards pale, like Mama).

As her hair gets longer, it starts looking more and more like Mama’s - leaning into Hilda/Touko. Bianca likes to brush her hair, and is the one that first pulls it into a ponytail when she notices “doesn’t it get in the way?”. She also braids her hair, but otherwise, yeah.

The way Sawyer got her name is through a book that Professor Juniper forgot to get rid of years ago. It was just something she had in her bag, usually forgetting about it for something else. It was a book on baby names, because she was helping her sister pick out names for the twins.

Sawyer picked the name she did because it stood out to her. Team Plasma has a name for her that she doesn’t exactly respond to, because very few people ever referred to her by that, usually just saying “you” or “brat”.

Sawyer isn’t her name...but for now, it feels right - because it’s better than having nothing at all.

So remember what I said about the twins??? Her real name is Touko. And that alone needs time for her to adjust. But there’s no rush. She has family now - she is loved.

But it was still a painful journey to get there. But hey, she isn’t alone.

[troymperry]

Nothing like looking at architecture to remind you how poor you are. Lol I've helped raise metal-structures before (helped install playground-equipment) poured concrete twice now, and even helped install a window for this guy's company I used to go to school with.. Hell, I even filed for an LLC with the state regarding a contracting business I began but naively tossed the paperwork - just to see if I could! My grandpa was a home-builder, and I thought I was going to join that trade growing up; but then banks started giving out faulty loans circa 2008, and the business closed.

My dad worked with for his dad, and my mom has suggested he was next in line for the CEO position.. Idk, I messaged some architect I respect (although I don't believe any of his designs have been built yet, but he shows a lot of promise) yesterday that I might just be an autistic-schizo for liking architecture simply because my last name is reminiscent of Paris, France -_+

I also ponder whether my new-found interest in architecture is related to my lack of passion of UI/UX, but I hope these two interests of mine cross paths down the road, so to speak. In the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler, a futuristic piece of design software is shown with potentiometers and whatnot, but it's just so hard to be cognizant of budget-constraints and justifying beauty. I think the avenue for aesthetically-pleasing structures is minimal, but maybe there's an opportunity for creating functional structures with details of subjectivity, or something..

Idk, my grandpa also owned a shopping-mall in Grandview, Missouri, which is kind of cool... I suppose he began idealistic, but ultimately compromised for functionality/economics. I DON'T want to be a dreamer devoid of objective truth, but I'm searching for that middle ground. Moreover, liking something simply because your last name is reminiscent of an artifact of it is kind of a weak reason to pursue something, but my relation to architecture is.. well currently it's non-existent, and I think it's best I leave it at that, for now.

A nutty-professor from the art school I went to suggested that I try to use this plugin for "Rhinoceros" (see my design two photos above w/ software) that is node-based... more on that in a second. The node-based editor - rawr, is the photo right above this paragraph as well, and all aside, is for parametric designs, I believe. Now, when I say that a nutty-professor "suggested" that I use the design software, what I really ought to have said was "challenged".. He put out a video calling for individuals to conceptualize a 200-hay bale structure that he would build. For some reason though, I thought the bales were like - big, so I didn't believe any legitimate form would be fabricated.

I don't know - I wasn't even thinking like an architect at that point. It wasn't until I filed for the LLC last year that I really began to understand the beauty/power in creating physical space. Also, I leased some office-space from one of those co-working companies on the Plaza (privately-owned shopping center in Kansas City, Missouri) for my contracting company, too, but I am NOT a business man, and I never even went to the office once. There's a bunch of hurdles to practice business "legally", and in a co-working space, it just didn't make sense.

I found out about this company (see their advertisement above) that allegedly approved me to a $350,000 loan amount, but I suppose I didn't trust the fellow I had made a "connection" with at the company - I don't think overweight people care about aesthetics. Moreover, he was so liberal, that I believed he didn't even have the ability to create a solid structure via a contract! His words were water, and not set in stone... I suppose I didn't really help the cause too much, but I felt like he had all the power, considering he had a business; but it just felt wrong. Oh, and the worst part for me was that he said the contractors I hire wouldn't even get paid until they were done, so I just felt like the money wasn't there, and there wasn't a whole lot of mentorship in the space, so I sort of withdrew..

I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm just not cut out for UI/UX related tasks. I think if anything I'm kind of just disillusioned by the whole thing. I'm starting to realize now, more than ever, that money is reason things get put together, regardless of in the computer-space, or in the physical one.. Which then funnels back to, alright, well what are the values that produce money, or the products that produce economic-profit, which I do think is computers. It's all so backwards, and my heart isn't in it, so I have no idea what the future has in store for me. Hopefully I don't turn into a punk or something, or lose my ethical-compass. Maybe I should look back into theatre..

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

hi skz pack <3 first of i wanna say ily and i'll literally die for all of you. you especially (y/n)!!! if any of these male boneheads hurt you, i'll throw hands (just kidding, maybe i'll pull on their ears a little and then pat their lil heads to say sorry). i have two questions (sfw and nsfw hehe) and it's for everyone so any of you can answer if you want!

first, are there any funny inside stories within the pack? i need my crumbs. i wanna know all the juicy gossip and potential blackmail. i personally think hyunjin and jisung are a chaos duo but i wouldn't... put it past any of you. *heart fingers*

second, and this is a lil spicy, but have any of you been dommed by y/n? i only ask because i'm a dom too and i am CONSTANTLY rooting for my girl y/n. does she dick any of u down??? does she top?? power bottom?? i need to KNOW. if she hasn't or you've never been, i implore you to let her. i know she has potential. BESTIE Y/N IF U CAN SEE THIS, GO CRAZY (consensually <3) !!! IM ENABLING YOU.

(jess sorry for the lack of asks, you know i love you. saw this ask thing though and jumped at the chance. i'll be back to my regular scheduled asks soon once college dies down T_T hope you're doing well!)

– 🤍

"Oooh, both of these are really great questions." Your eyes light up as you excitedly sit straighter in your chair. "I think we're gonna answer them individually, since there's so much to each one." You glance around at your packmates. "Which do you guys wanna answer first?"

Eight pairs of eyes stare back at you silently, and you sigh.

"Really? Okay, fine."

"You're up, buttercup." Minho quips dryly, raising an eyebrow as he stares at you, making you roll your eyes.

"Okay, first off-" You start seriously, motioning to the rest of the group. "I'm a complete switch, through and through. I think we all know this."

"However, there are definitely some key factors that affect which role I choose to portray during sex."

"This legitimately sounds like the start of my human behaviors lecture from last week." Jisung remarks with sarcasm, a smirk flickering across his lips. "Did you and Professor Nim collab?"

Seungmin elbows the other beta hard in the ribs, and he loses his breath with an audible oof. You shoot him a thankful look before you continue.

"The first factor, and definitely most important, is my partner's preference and comfort level."

Chan is nodding like he gets what you're saying, which is comforting, knowing that you're not just babbling like an idiot and making no sense.

Changbin offers you the hint of a smile as you push onward.

"It's not especially important to me what role I play, I don't have a strong preference usually, so if my partner is more comfortable with me domming, then that's what I'll do. If they'd rather I sub, and they take control, that's fine too."

Minho rolls his eyes good naturedly. "You're just a straight brat with me."

You point a finger in his direction sternly. "You don't count."

The other alpha smirks and shrugs. "It's fine. I'm not complaining."

"Anyway." You shoot him a glare and he gives you a little hand motion, as if to say go on. "Another factor that affects things is where everyone is at in their cycles. Typically, it's not the same for everyone, but pretty common, that when an alpha is in rut, they want to dom. Similarly, when an omega is in heat, they usually want to sub. It's biology's way of making things easier for everyone."

"I also tend to be a little more submissive when it comes to sexual interactions with the other alphas? It's not astoundingly evident, but my wolf's natural response when faced with another alpha-especially Chan-is to naturally be a little more submissive as a sign of respect I guess?"

You smirk now and dart a sidelong look at Chan, reaching out to curl your fingers around his thigh.

"Not to say I haven't dommed-a lot-with all of them. We absolutely do have sex toys, and I absolutely have used them, on everyone."

Chan sighs good naturedly and Minho snickers, Changbin grinning now.

"Gross." Jeongin rolls his eyes from where he's sitting in Felix's lap."

"Speaking of-" You point at the omega now, who glances back at you innocently, eyes wide. "-when it comes to the omegas, I usually tend to dom all the time. The baby and Felix especially. Hyunjin can go either way, sometimes he likes to switch it up and be in charge, but Lixie and Innie? They like to be coddled and taken care of."

"Pillow princesses." Jisung supplies without any guile, and Felix immediately nods.

"Hey, I like what I like."

"And we like you, princess." Changbin teases back, reaching out to pinch the omega's cheek affectionately between his fingers.

"Jisungie and Seungie." You think for a minute, considering, and then glance to the betas, who are not helpful in the least, giving you a shrug each. "Hmm. They tend to go either way. They're wild cards. Although Seungie prefers being in control usually, whereas Jisungie usually leans toward wanting to be told what to do."

"That's why Minho-hyung likes me so much." Jisung boasts, puffing his chest. "I'm a great listener."

"Bull shit." Minho immediately shoots back, and Jisung pouts.

"You're a terrible listener." You agree, and Jisung turns the full force of his wide eyed pout on you, making you laugh. "Everywhere except the bedroom."

Jisung shrugs, snuggling back beside Seungmin. "Whatever. I'll take it."

"When there's more than two people involved," You go on, considering for a moment. "That usually changes dynamics a bit, depending on who's wanting to do what. It's not as simple as just saying 'oh there's two alphas, so they'll obviously dom the omega or beta or whatever' because sometimes, one of us will dom the third party, and then the other doms the other alpha or vice versa. It really all comes back to, once again, comfort levels and preferences."

"Noona, if I came to you and hyung and asked to dom both of you, would you let me?" Jeongin pipes up, motioning between you and Chan with sudden eager excitement.

"Absolutely, Innie." Chan doesn't even hesitation, smiling fondly at the youngest, who is bouncing in his seat and making Felix wince.

"But you wouldn't." You grin. "Because we all know you'd rather be babied, especially by Channie and I."

Jeongin doesn't even consider pouting.

"Guilty."

"We're a pretty non-traditional pack to begin with," You add, glancing at Chan, who squeezes your fingers where they rest on his leg. "So being non-traditional in the bedroom isn't anything weird. Channie is head alpha, but he never asserts that over anyone unless they ask. He's more than happy to sub if that's what someone wants."

"Who would want that?" Jisung cries out, utterly scandalized. "Dom, primal, head alpha hyung is the hottest hyung. Period."

"Hear, hear." Hyunjin raises a fake glass into the air in a toast to Jisung's words, and it's probably the first time they've agreed on anything in days.

"I mean-" You shrug, biting back a smirk. "-I'm not saying I don't agree with you, but I have to admit, there's also something intrinsically pretty about Channie being the one beneath me and seeing just how much he can take before he's practically begging."

"Oh god." Chan groans beside you.

Across the room, Changbin audibly chokes.

Jisung looks utterly caught off guard as he gulps loudly. "I need to take a cold shower all of a sudden."

Minho grins and raises his own invisible glass to you in salute from the other couch.

"That's my girl."

[jin0]

All The Things He Said

Summary : Andy was a good talker, you could see through his lies and he loved that. But once his words start working on you, he can't help but get greedy. But be careful, having eyes bigger than your stomach, you could choke. Andy did.

Parings : Andy Barber x Reader, Andy Barber x Laurie Barber, Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count : 13,093 words !!! (that's legitimately the longest thing I've written but also the fastest !!!)

Warning : 18+, Minors DNI, emo, semi happy ending, heavy angst (be warned), smut, p in v

A/N : my entry to @fineanddandy 2k challenge !! congratulations, hope this isn't too fucking emo cause i was in a mood and very sleep deprived while writing this...

wanna thank @sunshinexsin for introducing it to me, honestly had a blast writing this !!! thank you so much !!!

english isn't my first language so all mistakes are mine !! hopefully i didn't make too many tho !!

Andrew Barber was a good talker. Matter of fact, he was an incredible one. You always wondered why he never turned towards business school, he would’ve been incredible, you knew it. Now, Andy also knew what he wanted, he was going to become a lawyer. And as a lawyer he would be great too, after all their job was to talk. Mostly talk their way out of troubles and Andy Barber was the best at that.

He had a way with words that would make the hardest metal in the world melt. The sound of his voice, divine and resembling the voice Apollo himself would have. A true charmer he was this man. So charming that no one could resist him. He had everyone in his pocket and as charming, from professors to students, even parents. He was the perfect man, so perfect that they excused his every move. As mean and sneaky as they were, everything was excused, because he was Andy Barber and he was a good talker.

Now the thing about Andy was that he good but had found his match in a woman, you. You had been the bane of his existence before becoming the light he would seek when things became too much for him. You were smart, so smart that you had called his bluff instantly. All the attention he would give others, the comforting words and reassuring touches, all that was just an act and you had noticed the moment you had caught him in the act. The first time you met him, at the age of seventeen.

You still remembered that day, you would watch him in silence, observing never too far from the rest of the class. Your headphones tight around your head, covering your ears and giving the impression of you not being able to gear a thing. Your music was so loud that no one could suspect that you heard everything, at all times. You had gotten good at that, hearing through the loudness of Japanese baby metal and American rock bands.

You made him anxious, you knew it. He would say a word and every time he would lie, you would giggle. Discreet enough to not be noticed by the crown around him but never good enough for Andy to ignore it. As the lies got bigger, your giggles got more and more sarcastic, full of disdain and mockery. That made him anxious because no one ever caught Andy, not even his parents. But you, the random girl in the back of the class did.

It was after a day of always finding you not too far away from him, still giggling at each lie he would utter that he got sick of it. So sick that after school, when you exited the building, you were pulled by the arm and dragged in a corner, away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers.

He pinned you down against the wall, face hard and angry. You could see he was trying hard to not let anything through, he sucked clearly because he looked about ready to choke you.

“What the fuck is your problem, hum ?! Am I that fucking funny that you have to giggle at every fucking word I say ?! Do I look like a fucking comedian ?!”

You smirked, amused by how easy it was for him to lose it when control wasn’t in his hands anymore.

“Not every word Barber, just the ones that sound so fucking empty that if you thought a rock in em, you would never hear it land.” You responded, mockery thick in your voice.

That caught him off guard. Not just your words but the sound of your voice. That was the first time he had heard you speak and you sounded like a sin. One that he wanted to throw himself into, feasting until he couldn’t anymore. Your eyes were fixated on his, never faltering or showing any signs of fear ow anxiety. You were the most assured and confident person he’s talked too. Not many people ever looked at him right in the eyes for this long without giving out under his eyes. But here you were, a first he couldn’t see himself let go of. Now, that he couldn’t let you see, because you were still a threat to him and that bubble he had built around himself.

“You think you’re so smart huh ? Using big words you probably don’t understand and looking at me like you wouldn’t get on your knees for me ?”

Your eyes widened in surprise and he was practically sure he had won before your laugh erupted in his face, echoing in the night. You were laughing so hard you leaned into him to catch your breath and he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the feeling of your skin against his. He couldn’t even smell you, honey and vanilla with a hint of citrus. That was addicting.

“Is that how you charm all these people ?! Telling them they would get on their knees for you ?! Damn dude ! You suck if that’s your technic ! Honestly, how good do you have to be in bed to get away with this ? Like whao ! I’m genuinely surprised here !” Your laugh was honest but your words cut deep. You had stoke a cord here.

He let go of your arms, still glaring at you but this time, he didn’t hide his curiosity. Leaning on the wall behind him, he crossed his arms and stared at you up and down, taking in your appearance. You wouldn’t be the first pseudo smart chick in bed and definitely not the last. Now he did enjoy the different feel he got from you, you sounded genuinely intelligent and that, that was attractive.

“So what ? You think you would be able to resist me ?” He asked, smug as ever

You looked at him, tilting your head to the side with curiosity, you were looking for an answer and he found himself thinking you were cute. It differed from your siren like behavior from earlier.

“I think I would. It wouldn’t be too hard since I’m not affected by your lies you know ? It’s easy to not get tricked when you notice a con artist from the beginning.” This time, you mirrored his posture and the tone of his voice. Oh… You were a copycat. And a good talker too.

You were definitely going to be one of the most interesting people in his life, if he let it happen.

~

Soon enough, you both found each other stuck together, complementary even. You were the moon and he was the sun. You hid in the shadows while he would pull his tricks on anyone who found themselves gravitating towards him. You were the exception, a surprise to the general public as you always managed to refuse him but also get him to do what you wanted. It seemed equal enough right ? Because it was. He made sure to never try and trick you, not just because you would notice but because he enjoyed the rawness of your relationship. He didn’t want anything from you other than you and same for you.

This need for you, it led to an eclipse. Both of you technically from two different world, you in the night and him in the day, it crossed. Over time we would catch a glimpse of the Moon enveloped in the Sun’s arms, hugging each other like it was the most normal thing ever.

A shift could be felt, you two pulled each other more and more, needing the other in a way that was never felt before. Andy found himself falling for you, hard and fast. He needed you in more than one way. He needed you, the only exception to his words. You who had given him everything even when he never asked for anything. He never wanted anything from you except you and you had given him more than that. It was clear as day one night. A fight with his parents, rich and full of ambitions for their son the prodigy charmer. They wanted him in an Ivy league and he wanted to follow you in a small college, good but not as good as him.

He had ran out for the first time, not using of fancy words and promises to get what he wanted, but simply being honest. You had found him knocking on your door one night, drenched by the rain and face red, covered in tears.

You welcomed him in and the first thing he did was kiss you, heated, passionate and so full of emotions. You could only let him in, your house and you. He lifted you off the floor, walking towards your bedroom. He refused to let you go, his tongue molding around yours and his heart swelling with each moan that escaped your small throat. Undressing each other had been instinctive and when he felt you suffocate he detached himself to look down on you.

“I’m sorry for barging in… I-I just really needed you… I love you so much princess, I can’t believe it took me so fucking long to notice. Please, don’t let me go, don’t let go of my heart, please…”

His pleas resonated in your ears like a symphony you had begged all the stars to hear. Wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his cold body towards you, you smiled, kissing his reddened eyes, tears still present on his lashes.

“You took your sweet time Barber, thought I would have to use your tricks on you.” You smiled, tender and full of love.

The sound of your voice confessing your love, he had it on repeat in his mind. During the whole night, hitting all the right spots inside you and drinking in you beautiful face contorted in pleasure as he drove his girth in you repeatedly. Pulling orgasms after orgasms out of you, he made sure to keep you full and satisfied. He was never one to give that much but you, you were the exception to everything and he gave you all you asked for that night.

The next morning, waking up wrapped in his arms, you listened to him as he explained the issues with his parents. That morning you agreed to follow him to one of the Ivy leagues he had been accepted at. You had incredible grades and scholarships to go around, you would be great.

That was the first time. Your first gift other than you. Andy, the good talker had received from you for the first time in his mind and that should’ve stopped there. Because the thing with good talkers is that they were defenseless when they weren’t aware of their power. But once they noticed it, fully taking in what they could do and to who… They would become greedy. And that was how it began.

Andrew, your Andy, he had began to get greedy.

The first year of college, it started with going to parties you weren’t used to. Soon, you hung out with his newfound friends and you still weren’t use to it but you played the part. For him. You soon changed the way you would dress, wearing expansive clothes and jewelry he offered you. Next was changing your hair, then you changed entirely.

It all became abundantly clear during a night with his parents. They had invited other friends, one couple and their daughter, Laurie.

Laurie was perfect, her and him would fit perfectly. You tried to avoid these thoughts because they hurt you more than anything but you couldn’t push them away. You paid more attention to her and her behavior. You knew she wanted him, it was clear as fucking day and she was a terrible actress. Now, you couldn’t just fault her so you were more careful and attentive to him too. He noticed and tried to reassure you.

“Don’t worry about her, I genuinely couldn’t care less about her.”

“We’re barely friends and I’m head over heels for you princess, you’re fine.”

“Trust me when I say this, Laurie has nothing on you, she’s not interesting enough for me to care about her, let alone cheat.”

That last one you had heard it so much, you counted the amount of times he would use it or twist it. You felt uneasy, sick and anxious. You had lost your confidence and while looking for it you found it. Andy had it, and he was giving it to Laurie. She was turning into you, he was molding her to be what you had been. Everything you had given, you had nothing anymore. Empty like a well during a drought. You had given him everything you had and more and he had taken it greedily to offer it to another. Realization hit you like a truck : his tricks, words and charm he had used it on you. You the exception had been turned into a common prey.

The discovery made you so sick you couldn’t keep the tears in as you emptied your stomach in the bathroom. All these years of school, with him holding you tightly against his side. They had been his way of draining you and now you were left with nothing. The Sun who was never outshine had wanted more and took the stars from you. You were now alone.

When you confronted him about it, you biggest fight ever took place.

“Why can’t you fucking trust me ?! You spend every day waiting for me to fucking trick you ?! You can’t trust me and you expect me to stick around like a fucking statue ?!”

“I needed you Andy ! I needed you to love me ! Not trick me into giving you my whole for you to give it to her ! You think I don’t see what you’re doing ?! She’s exactly like me !”

“Oh my fucking god !”

He tried to walk away but you followed him. Turning around, you saw his face and shivered at the expression he carried. Hard and mean, full of hatred and darkness. He didn’t love you right now but worst, you didn’t serve him any purpose and you had threatened his bubble. You were a threat now.

“You know what ? Yeah, I’m interested in Laurie.” The reveal was dark, deadly even. You felt like your lunges were being crushed. You couldn’t breath and it was visible that you were shocked. That made him chuckle.

“Oh please, stop with the shock. You knew before I did that we’ve been growing apart. You and I it stopped making sense a while ago princess. It only made sense that I go look somewhere else right ?”

He took a pause to look at you right in the eyes, the need to hurt so big that you started to doubt you ever were loved by this man.

“Unlike you, she’s perfect on all fucking aspects.” His words cut so deep you could practically feel your blood pour out onto the floor. He neared your small trembling frame. You kept backing up but soon the wall would block you.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while you know ? She doesn’t whine about not being comfortable with my friends of my family, she dresses perfectly, she doesn’t fucking talk back or debate anyone for the sake of it and more importantly…” He was right in your face, enjoying your watering eyes. “… She’s not insecure like you. She’ll be the perfect wife, can we say the same about you ? Huh sweetheart ?” He snarled, smug and mocking

“Honestly, I found somebody new, it’s only a matter of time before we hit the breaking point so you might wanna go look too.”

His word’s had syphoned the little bit of dignity you had left. Taking it all away and crushing it under his shoes. For the first time, you averted your eyes, not strong of confident enough to hold it. You weren’t you anymore.

~

Leaving your shared apartment to go sleep at a friend’s place, you wallowed and cried all the tears you had kept in all these years. Coming to terms with the fact that you had been infected by his tricks had been like having your heart ripped out.

Holding you tight against them, your friends Natasha and Okoye tried to find a way to comfort you but nothing would do. So another alternative was given to you. It was the beginning of the vacations and exam season was over so you needed to be taken away. A small trip with friends to unwind and let go.

You had tried to enjoy but it had been so hard to not check your phone for texts and calls from Andy. You had left when he was gone and Okoye had taken your phone so you wouldn’t be tempted. A night, when it had been too much, you had broken down in your hotel room. They all watched and attempted to comfort you but nothing worked so they simply gave you your phone.

Nothing.

No phone calls or text, nothing.

He didn’t care.

You spent the night awake, crying the last of your pain away. The next day you were awake first, ready to truly enjoy. Out of spite maybe but that would do for now.

Going out dressed in the clothes you used to wear, the makeup and hair you used to rock, before all this. You were trying to find little pieces of you and as small as they were, they sent waves of serotonin in your brain.

You would be lying if you said you were totally over the fight and his words. A part of you, bog part, wanted to hope that you both would be able to overcome this. Now, the part of you that you had silenced for so long, smaller and practically whispering, she was telling you the contrary. You deserved better and it was you duty to get it.

Unknowingly, Andy saw everything. Not through you obviously, he wasn’t a beginner. He saw it all through you friends, posting you on their social medias, as if to taunt him. He wouldn’t reach out, too fucking arrogant to do so. He preferred to lurk like a creep and lie his way through life, acting like he was okay when the moment you had stepped out of you apartment he had collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily and panicking as the words he had thrown at you sunk in his mind. He was horrible. He couldn’t believe he had said these things. To you, his moon. He felt like the seventeen years old you had met all over again, worried about the wrong thing and not noticing that he was loosing it because of his own actions.

He would entertain Laurie out of spite too but also because his parents never made comments about her but always about you. His tranquility for the simple prince of a lie. A simple lie right ? If only. Because that lie kept on growing until it started to drown him.

He knew you were right, he had manipulated you, taken from you, the one he swore to never treat like the others. The greedy part of him was blaming you for not noticing earlier, otherwise he would’ve stopped. That was a fucking lie and he knew it. But how could he accept it ? He needed to take from you otherwise you would leave, that was his logic. He couldn’t be blamed right ? No ! He could because it was on him ! You gave him your trust and he toyed with it. He needed to make things right, he couldn’t lose you. When you would be back, he would right his wrongs, no matter what.

Except, Andy was good at talking and never lost the control of a situation. Until you. And when he lost control, he would act rashly.

The moment you stepped in, you noticed his presence in the apartment. Huh, how lucky you were to be greeted by him. When he heard the door close he expected you to go directly to the living room where he was waiting for you. You made a detour to a room, the guest room to drop your bag.

“What are you doing ?” He asked, voice deep and so sweet you could drown in the honey like feel.

You kept quiet, taking out your stuff and putting the used clothes in a basket. You silence was making him anxious, good. He deserved it.

“Princess, can you please look at me ? I’m… I wanna talk.” He begged, you couldn’t see him but you knew he was probably trying the puppy eyes too. You scoffed bitterly which caught him by surprise.

He was loosing hope and patience as you kept on ignoring him. He spun you around and froze when met with your dead eyes. He always live your eyes, they were so expressive and full of life, showing every emotions you felt. Here, the were blank, practically dead even. That felt like a punch to the guts because he remembered the way you looked in the videos posted by your friends : so lively, real, you.

“Don’t look at me like that sweetheart… Please…”

You sighed, already exhausted by the discussion, of we could call it that. You ripped your arm away from him, returning to your clothes. That pushed him further, his worry growing and making his actions truly stupid.

He pushed passed you, took your bag and you clothes before throwing them on the floor. You could see his anger bubble up. Usually, you would’ve been scared which was horrible in itself because no one should grow this habit, but here you were, numb and motionless. You felt like the version of you he had met.

“Can you fucking stop with the fucking clothes ?! I’m trying here ! I'm trying to fix this, us ! And you’re not even trying for fuck sake !”

You scoffed even louder, this time not hiding your amusement.

“I didn’t ask you anything Andy. You can stop if you want, I couldn’t care less.” You responded, emotionless as ever.

Looking at you with pleading eyes, he couldn’t take it. You were so…cold. He felt his skin shiver, the kind of shivering that only you could calm down. He hated it, he was feeling like he had already lost you. That was killing him.

He started to shake, looking around for anything that could get you to pay attention to him and love him again. He wanted the old you back, the one that cared and wasn’t scared to show it. He wanted the you he had so greedily taken.

Walking up to you again, he took you in his arms hugging you tighter than ever before, scared that you would vanish if he was letting go.

“Please ! Just look at me ! Let me try, don’t give up on us like that, please ! We still have time to try !”

Turning your head towards him to look into his eyes, he thought he had won but was caught off guard by your booming laugh, resonating on the walls. You were laughing so hard he felt humiliation drench him like a waterfall.

“Oh my god ! Andrew Barber, you’re one funny guy you know that ?” You laughed, whipping a tear off your face. In his stupor, he had detached himself from you, giving you the opportunity to step away.

“Do you hear yourself ? Are you fucking crazy ? We have time to fix what ?! You fucking dickhead ! You said it yourself right ?! You’ve found somebody new ! You and your pretty face ! You found somebody who you could manipulate and use better, didn’t you big guy ?” You were mirroring him again, the voice and tone he had used on you that night.

Looking at him, you were surprised. He looked pathetic but so similar to his usual self. You could see through him again. The you from the past was bigger now, she could see through the pretty charmer with the fancy words.

“I-I was angry okay ? I know I should’ve never used these words on you but… But I promise I’ll do better. Please, please I need you please.”

Looking at him in disbelief, you laughed again, so loud he felt like ripping his ears off, he couldn’t stand it. It was so fake, so loud and piercing. It felt like an electric drill was being used on him.

“You’re genuinely so funny, I can’t breath.” You looked at him with hatred, gathering the clothes you had unpacked. You couldn’t stay here anymore. “You think I don’t notice that you’re doing it again ? Using your words on me ? Treating me like a disposable puppet and then crying about needing me ? That’s gotta be the most effort you put on to get what you wanted Andy. I’m impressed.”

He was watching you, unable to move or do anything. His heart was hitting his ribcage so hard he felt like he would collapse in a second. You weren’t his anymore and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“You know Andy… I always knew I was not good enough for your crowd. I never doubted that. But I felt like I could change to be good for you. You convinced me I was the one who had decided to change. Truth is you were the one who chose for me. You always were.” You got close to him, harshly grabbing his jaw. “You got greedy Andrew. Now look where that led you ?”

His eyes were watering, the roles were reversed. He was you and you were him except you would do what he couldn’t.

“You and your pretty face, you can return to your pretty little ways Andy. You can go back to your fucking tricks. I changed my clothes, my hair, my face for you and that wasn’t enough. You just couldn’t stop there so you found a girl you knew you’d change.” You spat, gathering more of your stuff while he stood there crying and pleading for you to not go.

“Enjoy her well then, your Mrs. Right. I gotta give it to you though. You turned into a pretty big waste of my fucking time. All this time thinking you would be different, huh ? That you could settle for someone you couldn’t use… What a joke.” This time, he caught a glimpse of you, the sadness and desperation for something that wasn’t broken in your relationship. Needing to hold onto it and fix it, rebuilding your relationship.

This piece of honestly in you eyes could’ve been enough but he was stuck in place. Like a statue. He watched you leave with all the things you could gather of your and collapsed on the floor. He had lost it all. You were everything, his moon, his. He had lost you to his pretty little ways, these fancy words of his. His insides were shattered, he couldn’t do it anymore. He had wished for you to curse him more, scream and hit him. He wanted you to curse his filthy heart, remind him that he was the lowest type ever. He wanted you to swear, wish for her to take his filthy heart and throw it away someday. He even would’ve wished for you to tell him to live. If he was this desperate to move on, if he couldn’t hand, there’s the door.

All that, you never did it. You left and never came back. You friends came to pick the last of your stuff, some even fighting with him to leg go of this shirt you had left that still smelled like you. He was lost, and still loosing. The last of you that he couldn’t stop taking from, it was lingering on him. So much that he managed to take from it still. He was taking from himself, loosing himself in his own lies and words. He was too far gone to be saved.

Everyday, he was begging for you to come home to him but the lie he kept it growing. He was in too deep to truly stop now, to ashamed to fight his own self. He married Laurie straight out of college, found a great job and had a son. The lie never stopped.

He couldn’t bear it anymore, he was tired of this feeling. He had never felt so alone, you were his moon, his stars, everything. Hell, he wasn’t the Sun anymore, you were. He tried but he couldn’t bear your absence. He couldn’t stand to have you gone for so long, he couldn’t. He tried to change things, looking for you, but you had disappeared abroad and cut ties with him fully. You’re friends, loyal to you, had kept your whereabouts secret for years.

Seeking you like a moth seeking light, he had waited for you. He was exhausted, drained permanently by your absence. His own twisted mind had convinced him that one day you would walk into his life all over again, giving him a chance to do better, to love you better. To not just take from you, he would never take from you, spending the rest of his life giving you everything he could.

He had deserved it, his own greediness being the reason of it all but it never stopped him from hurting. Laurie was not you, she wasn’t you, not even his wife in his mind. He had her and she was willing. You were right, he had settled for someone he could use. She was too blind or desperate to notice his spiritual absence. He was dead when with her, eyes so lifeless they might as well have been fake. Life had been a game of poker for him, about fancy words and charm. All fake until you won, he had won. Andrew Barber never lost, not until he lost you. All the things he had told you you wouldn’t be good at ? He had them and he hated it, or at list the idea of it. He loved his son, Jacob. Innocent and so curious about everything. His curiosity reminded him of you, you always analyzed everything, just like the little boy. He found it ironic how even far away, hiding somewhere in the world, you had carved yourself so deep in his hurt, traced of you could be found in the child he has with another.

He had stopped feeling guilty a long time ago, resorting to hating Laurie just as much as he hated himself. She had been so proud of herself for taking Andrew Barber for herself, she never cared about the fact that he was never truly hers. The snarky comments she would make about how they were soulmates, meeting in college when he was with someone who never really fit in with his people while she had fit in so perfectly, it made sense for anyone around. He hated her, her and her big mouth, always trying to get him to touch her when truly he had practically died throwing up when he found out she was pregnant. He couldn’t stand her, he never would.

His life came back to him on a random day, random but he would remember it forever, it was a Thursday. He had been busy at the DA’s office, his new position requiring a lot of attention, when a guest arrived. An important one. He could hear the voices greeting the man with an attention and care he recognized, he used it in life and work to get what he wanted. These tricks of his giving him a pretty check at the end of the month with plenty zeros to go around but disgusting him when he remembered what they had taken from him.

Standing up when his door opened, he was greeted by a man. Handsome, a little taller than him and bulkier too. Thick beard and hair reaching the back of his neck while nicely slicked back. The suit, shoes and watch screamed money and the demeanor screamed confidence. The small smirk, not mocking but slightly cocky told Andy this man was a winner, and a real one.

Andy extended his arm, shaking his visitor’s hand politely and smiling just as politely. His grip was firm and just as confident, god this man was breathing success, it was suffocating the poor lawyer.

“Happy to finally meet the great Andrew Barber. I’ve heard great things about you.”

“Please call me Andy.” He responded, a little less enthusiastic than he wanted. He still had to keep up the appearance. “I just want to preface this by saying that it’s an honor to meet you Mr. Rogers. Your contribution to the citie's infrastructures has been more than generous and helpful, we thank you greatly.”

The blond man chuckled.

“Please Andy, we’ve been doing business for long enough, call me Steve. Mr. Rogers is my dad.”

Looking at him carefully, Andy could see the man he wished he had been. The man he would’ve been, with you around. He had never met the man himself but having him in front of him, he felt a need to compare. He had never felt this underqualified before, it was like Steve was the competition.

He kept his ears focused on the man sitting opposite to him but let his eyes roam and noticed a wedding band on his finger. It had been speculated that Steve was married, he always seemed more than happy after certain phone calls or a certain visitor at his office. Some often just saw glimpse of the wedding ring on his chain and Andy was probably the first one to see it this clearly, other than the spouse obviously.

Noticing the eyes if his hand, Steve smiled when he remembered that he had worn his wedding ring on his hand today and not around his neck with the chain he had been gifted. Reading the curiosity on the lawyer’s face he responded to the questions he had before he could ask them.

“I’ve been married for two years now. Met her when we were twenty-three. She had moved in New York, interning at the law firm I was a client at.” He recounted, eyes looking into the void, seeing the moment as if it was yesterday.

Andy couldn’t help but feel jealously rain all over him. Steve looked like a man who was genuinely happy in marriage. He has found his soulmate where Andy had lost his, better, he had thrown her away. He couldn’t help but wish to see her again, just once, to see if she herself had been happy in marriage. Deep down, he wanted her to be as miserable as him, he wanted her to need him like he needed her. If she needed him too, he knew that once he found her he would give it all up for her. You would be an incredible mother to Jacob, he wouldn’t deal with Laurie ever again and he would simply move on to the life he always wanted with you, giving you everything you desired.

“Life’s tough huh ?”

Surprised by the sudden question, Andy wanted to scoff. What did Steve Fucking Rogers knew about life being tough ?

“You’re probably wondering what I know about life being tough.” Was this man a mind reader too ? Thought Andy. “I know practically nothing if I’m being honest. My wife, she know though. She taught me how to read people. She’s incredible at that. She can spot a lie from an entire different country, without even seeing you face. That’s why she’s such a good lawyer and human being as a whole. I could tell her about a business transaction over the phone, while in an entirely different country and she’ll be able to tell when I’m getting fucked over. She’s my secret card and the more she gives, the more I need to work harder to give back. I can’t even think of playing her or keeping a secret because she’s too good at noticing things in people and I’m an open book with her. It’s terrifying when you’re used to being in control but… But with her it’s all so…”

“Transactional ?” Andy filled in for him.

Steve nodded with a smile, still daydreaming about the woman holding his heart. He didn’t know how it went from Steve conversing about life being tough to him declaring his love for his wife but it just made the feeling of failure sink deeper in Andy’s heart. He had nothing like Steve, even after getting all the things he supposedly always wanted. He had them but had been greedy and wanted it too fast. So fast that he had lost the thing that had given life to all these things. He was now wallowing in his own private hell, hell that he had created on fancy words, lies and greediness.

“But enough talking about Mrs. Rogers ! You’ll get to see her at the fundraiser anyways. Are you gonna be there ? I remember your wife being really eager to be there.”

Ah, yes. The Gala Fundraiser hosted by the city once a year. As the DA he gad to be there with Laurie and occasionally, Jacob. They would parade around, acting like the perfect family and keeping appearance of a loving marriage. He hated these events. Having this woman he didn’t love or want hanging on his arm like her life depended on it and forcing kisses on his jaw and the base of his neck. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to wake up, that she was trying to hard and still failing, that he would never love her or anyone else for that matter. He wanted to be caught in a lie, his entire reality being shattered so that he could get out of it and start new, somewhere else where you would be. Andy was a dreamer but over time the dream turned into delusion and it was the thing keeping him going, keeping him steady. He was standing over a cliff and he had the choice to either jump or be pushed.

Keeping a professional smile, he nodded rapidly.

“We’ll be there. We…” He wanted to add that he might not show up with her, that he would prefer not to. Instead he kept quiet. He didn’t know Steve enough to just reveal his hatred for his life and the woman he had married. Instead, he left the conversation where it stood, going back on more mundane topics and keeping his thoughts to himself until he would be alone and able to sink in his pain.

~

As soon as the night started, he felt like standing in the middle of the road. He couldn’t stand anything around him, the fake smiles, fake friendships and fake everything in general.

Laurie, tightly holding on his arm kept on sending him these small glares as a sign of displeasure for the lack of attention he was showing her. She would never truly glare at him, not risking ruining her good little wife persona. She wouldn’t risk it mostly because he wouldn’t mind living her right then and there, and that terrified her. Poor woman was head over heels for a man sp good at lying that he managed to trick himself, obviously she would be hung up on a fantasy.

Clearly ignoring the conversations around him, his attention was caught by the sudden silence. Everyone around got quiet as the doors opened to the main attraction of the night, the biggest name in the party, Steve Rogers. As the man walked in, tailored three piece suit nicely wrapped around him, he stopped in his track to hand out his hand to his date for the night.

Andy wasn’t necessarily listening, he had become so good at blocking out the noises around him. But this, this was different. Because the noises around him canceled themselves out without his intervention. This reaction, the oxygen caught in his lungs, his heart beating faster than ever, his palm sweating slightly, all these reactions they were a sign of only one thing : you. After fifteen years of longing, desperately begging the powers from above to bring you back home, to him, here you were. Holding someone else’s hand. As their wife.

He was starting to shake, vision blurry and heart pounding in his chest to the point of hurting. This couldn’t be, this had to be a sick joke. One that had been going on for fifteen years and had spread over all the aspects of his life. He had begged to see you again, but not like this, not while you were holding another man’s hand and wearing his ring.

You entered, walking in and fully showing yourself to the guests already present. The attention was entirely and it was for good reasons, undeniably.

You had become an eclipse, both the sun and the moon in one. Maybe the stars too. You were so bright the room felt like he was in space, staring directly into the sun. You looked so different but similar, you clothing style not changing much, simply adapting to the setting but keeping you, the heart of it, very much present.

He had told you that you would never fit in his lifestyle and he was right, you didn’t fit, you stood out in the best kind of way. Most were surprised by the difference you represented compared to them. Ironically, you were so different but it didn’t bother you, actually you made the other’s feel like they were less, bellow you.

A force in the room, of course they’re confused, you’re stunning…

The feeling he had gotten from Steve, like he was a better version of him, it all made sense to him now. Steve had been the success to his failure, getting everything he had ruined.

You advanced in the room, Steve holding you so close to him, he might’ve had an easier time carrying you in his arms. You both walked to the first guests that came in view, the mayor and his wife. He couldn’t take his eyes away from you, staring very rudely but he didn’t give a single fuck. You had been gone for so long, away from home, he needed to take time to fully take you in.

He could feel Laurie’s grip on his arms tighten and her eyes on him, she was trying so hard to keep him besides her pleading with her eyes for him to not let go of her, to not leave. He wasn’t paying attention though, he was looking at you, only you.

The bubble he had built was cracking, the longer his eyes stayed on you as you conversed an mingled with the people. You really were the moon and the sun, all eyes on you. Looking back on all these years, he couldn’t be delusional anymore, he still had greediness in him : he wanted you back. He was desperate, tired and begging for you to come home. Won’t you come home ?

For the biggest part of his life, Life had been a game that he had been a master at playing and that from a young age. He had known the rules and bent them to his will. He had knows, and he should’ve known that bending it too much would make it break. Life was a game and thinking otherwise was on him.

Looking at you, you were right there, so close but the strong arm around you was like a sea. He probably would’ve preferred to be separated by the sea, still thinking of you everyday. Here, the sea was only figurative but so big still. Steve was the sea that protected you, protected the heart he had shattered.

When your eyes crossed, he felt like his body had been pulled towards yours, so hard he felt whiplash. Everything going slow, the smile on your face stayed longer than it probably did when you noticed him. You looked absolutely stunning, so beautiful, glowing bright and shining down on his heart that had lived in the dark for so long, turning cold like stone.

Am I someone by myself ? Or someone when I’m with someone else ?

I’m done being confused, it all leads back to you. And I’m sorry, I left you alone

He watched your smile drop when you fully took him and Laurie in, noticing both the longing and terrified glares they were sending you. Like waking up from a bad dream, Steve tightened his grip around you and your smile was back. Genuine and so warm compared to his, you were happy, truly happy. The professional smile he had mastered was nothing to the one covering your beautiful face as you looked at the man holding your heart. You were in love, head over heels even. For someone else, a better man. What did he expect honestly ? You were a gem, obviously you would have legions throwing themselves at your feet. But it was obvious that he would never get over you, and seeing you do exactly that was as painful as his heart being ripped out and stomped on.

Andy, who thought his pain had reached it’s peak, wasn’t prepared for what came next. Because here you were, holding Steve’s arm and walking towards them. Laurie was trembling besides him, pulling her arms so close to her chest, he could feel her ribcage. His body was trembling too, mind and heart fighting over staying or leaving. But it was too late now, you were already here.

Piercing eyes, staring straight into his, as if you weren’t fazed by any of this.

“Love, I want you to meet the man that permitted me to bring your vision to life, Andy Barber. And his lovely wife Laurie.” Introduced Steve.

Extending you arm and holding your head up high, you smiled tightly at the couple.

“I actually know them already, baby.” Turning to your husband with a softer smile, you didn’t miss the slight horror that crossed both the Barber’s faces. “We were in college together. Even shared a few classes. They were really popular back in the day, not really my crowd you know ?” You responded simply.

This lack of acknowledgement was violent for the both of them, Andy’s heart sinking lower in his stomach and Laurie’s ego taking a violent hit. She felt the guttural need to retaliate, to instigate dominance between the two of them, prove to the woman who seemingly never had as much as her before but now had it all while she kept a fiction alive.

“You never stroke me as the rich CEO type, but I’m sure this life attracts more than a few.” She smiled bitterly.

Looking at her with a slight smile, you couldn’t help but feel relief. You felt nothing but pity for her. She had wanted the man so bad that she had settled for a lie. You weren’t fazed by her presence or her remarks which clearly came from a place of jealousy and hatred.

“Yeah, that’s not really my type, dealt with the stuck up rich boys before. Ended up losing everything that made me me because they enjoyed taking without giving back, they like cheating their ways through people’s hurt too. A grand waste of time, I’ll tell you.” You chuckled looking off to the distance. “I got lucky with Rogers though, always honest with me, to an point of being adorable even. He rambles when he gets found out and he’s an open book.” This time we could hear the happiness in your voice and that made the other woman’s blood boil.

“Come on now, I don’t ramble that much ! It was just you who made me feel like a teenager on a constant, and still to this day ! I’m still the great business man you know and love too.” Laughed the blond male

“Yeah well I’m lucky that the business doesn’t treat me like a transaction. That’s why I love you, you know ? You make me feel like an exception to your usual ways, and even if you treated me like the others, you still treat them right.” These words could’ve been perceived as petty but even a blind man would be able to see the honestly in them, and in you.

Laurie wanted to say something, anything, to bring herself and her life back on top. She had won, she had the man, the career and the family, she had it all. So why were you still above her ?

She was about to add something when Andy’s arm stopped her. He sent her a slight warning glare but went back to looking at you as you shared a small conversation with your husband. A server with champagne approached the four of you. Andy took one for his wife and himself before taking one for you, which was taken by Steve that you softly thanked.

No, this would kill him, please, not this, God please not this.

“Yeah sorry, not gonna be drinking for a little while.” You chuckled looking at your husband who was trying to hide his smile in the crook of your neck. “Don’t think little one’s gonna enjoy that. I have to show the example y’know ? But mister over has absolutely no fucking problem drinking from me ! You havin’ fun over there big guy ?”

Steve took a sip lf his drink, badly hidden smile on his face.

“What ? I’m simply trying to not waste good champagne. It’s the one you like, so as a good husband and father, I’m drinking for you, can’t be mad at me for doing a good deed dollface.” Said the man with a wide grin.

This was torture, watching this was torture. He would’ve preferred to never see you again rather than seeing you happy in the arms of another, carrying his ring and baby.

Met a boy at twenty-three,

Knew he meant the world to you,

So you gave him everything,

And he did the same thing for you.

In a flash, all the events you went through because of him flashed in front of his eyes. The most vivid memories of your break-up. All the words, mean and hateful he threw at you to hurt you. He couldn’t do this, not anymore. There was no home to come back to, all the fancy word he kept in his head built the fantasy of one.

He gave up right then and there. They greediness, that selfishness, he gave up on it instantly. A small part of the man you knew at the end of high school, the one that treated you right, like the exception, his moon. He had a boost of strength and sprung free, taking over all the debate going on in his head and chose for him. He couldn’t take you away from this. Not after all he had done to you. Not after how he had treated you.

This was the end.

He had wanted too much, too greedy and controlling. He was a good talker. An incredible one even. But never good enough to get himself out of this.

~

This feeling, you would never get sick of it. Fulfillment, Love, Happiness, all this you had fought for it, crawled your way through hell and back to get these and you weren’t anywhere near being done enjoying them.

Your break-up with Andy had brought the worst in you, erasing all you were to have it replaced with all you hated or feared. His carefully chosen words and tactics to take pieces of you and keep them to himself had left you penniless, empty of all your essence and left alone to rebuild it all. The sleepless nights, the nightmare, the tears from seeing someone who reminded him, all of this had been the pain you suffered to be you again.

You had rekindled your relationship with your younger self, linking it with this adult version of you who felt better than ever. It had taken time, a long road to walk bare foot, but you couldn’t be happier to be who you are now.

On the way you had found a man, one that despite having the possibility to use and trick you like you had been before, using your uncertainty on life and romance, refused to treat you like a business transaction. He had known from the beginning, just like you, that you would be his greatest treasure, but he still chose to think of it with his heart and not his head. He had shown you who he was and this man that you had seen had matched the man others saw. There was no game, no lies, no need for any of that, he got what he wanted by being the rawest version of himself.

“You okay there princess ?”

Snapping your head towards your husband, you smiled softly, cuddling closer to his side. The car ride back home had been silent but not uncomfortable. Steve was giving you the time you needed to enjoy yourself, you victory against yourself.

Bringing his hand up to your face, he held your cheek tenderly, loving eyes staring into yours.

“I’m proud of you, you know that ? You did good love…” His own face started to wander against your skin, taking in your scent and the feeling of your heated skin. He always loved how warm you were, even in winter. He would keep you close to him , hugging you body so close you felt like you were fusing with him sometimes. He loved to grope on you, enjoying the way your temperature would go higher.

“You did good too out there, after all the violent things you wanted to do to him. You played your part well.” You praised, a grin drawn on your lips.

He looked up at you and grinned in return.

“You asked me to play a role and you know that I always obey your orders Mrs. Rogers. I am only but a humble servant to your every desire after all.”

Obviously you had told Steve about Andy, he was your fucking husband, you had your fill of lies and secrets with the Barber boy and you were one to learn fast from your mistakes. It took Steve two years of relationship to become your husband, which in itself wasn’t long but he knew he wanted to marry you a week after meeting you so you can understand his weird approach on time and all that. In those two years, you were clear and honest from the beginning, exposing all the things that you deemed ‘red flags’ in you and not in the man that was at fault. When he heard the whole story, he had been furious, swearing to rebuild the man’s bone structure with his fists. The threat had made you laugh, finding it very macho chivalrous but still funny.

After a year of dating, you were finally capable to reveal the name of the man that had stolen your everything. Steve being Steve he had looked for the man and finding out everything about him, he handed you a file with the option to ruin his life from afar or not do a thing. Steve was clearly pettier than you here. You had chosen to not do anything, watching from afar as the with joy, then anger then pity as the man you knew better than anyone was eaten alive by his own lies. You were satisfied with your life and if Andy wasn’t, then it was out of your control. He had chosen his fate.

“I gotta be thankful for the guy, if it wasn’t for his giant fuck up, I wouldn’t be here now…” He kissed the side of your neck, going up the vain that he could feel under. “I wouldn’t be able to call you my wife…” A wet kiss was dropped on you collarbone and you had to cover your mouth to hide your moans from the driver. “To cover you in my love, kisses…” He pushed his lips below your hear. “And cover that pretty body in my cum… Filling you up all nice and full…”

Sliding a hand under your thigh, he brought it up over his own, grinding his thigh again your center and listening to your breathy moans. You were trying so hard not to give in, his words having a devastating effect on you and visible, on you pussy, already dripping wet and in need of attention.

You held onto his shoulder, desperately looking for friction, under his dominant eyes. He was watching you carefully, studying your moves and how far this sex daze, that only he could put you in, would take you. Your dress, slit going all the way up to your thigh, was hiked up and he could see the slick soak his pants. You were marking him with your juices and that was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He cupped the bulge in his pants, grinding against it to relieve some tension.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled your head to his neck with the other, a smile drawn on his face as he thought about the things he would do to you once you would get home.

“Calm down a little baby, I’ll be taking care of you once we get home okay ?

The moment the car pulled up in front of your house, he practically ripped off the seatbelt, you giggling to yourself. You had been aroused first but here he was, loosing it on your seatbelt. Helping you exit the car in a fit of giggles, he threw you over his shoulder in front of the very surprised and confused driver.

“Thank you Scott, we’ll be sending Cassie a package for the end of the year okay ? You can go home now, thanks again.” He greeted as if nothing was going on.

He didn’t wait a single more minute to march towards the house. Once inside he directly walked to the dining room, laying you on the table. You were watching him attentively, still smiling at how eager he got himself. Parting your legs to let him nestle himself in between your thighs, you watched him take off his jacket and shirt, placing them delicately on the back of a chair before getting on his knees before you. Grabbing your thighs, his robbed his nose against your core, inhaling the scent of your wetness, impatient to taste you.

Pulling your panties to the side, he brushed his lips against you folds, kissing them softly. You buckled your hips against his face, melting right in front of his eyes. You threw your head back, moans already loud but never enough for him. He wanted you screaming his name at all times.

“Look at you love, already going all stupid for me when I haven’t done anything yet ?” He grinned, kissing you thighs and leaving bite marks after him. “I just need to apologize in advance for what I’m about to do to you princess. I need you to know that I’ll be taking my sweet time fucking all the bad thoughts out of your head. That okay with you baby ?” He asked, voice dangerously soft

You nodded rapidly, muttering a few yeses to make sure he understood what you wanted. This was useless though, he would always understand, sometimes before you.

Not wasting anymore time, he ripped your panties clean off, stuffing his face in the piece of fabric before putting it in his pocket. When he dived in your pussy, you felt yourself come back to life, going through literal rebirth. His tongue, lapping up your folds roughly yet so precisely, you could only drown in pleasure.

Leaning on your arms, you grinded against you husband’s face as his tongue twisted and turned against you before entering you.

“F-Fuck baby, fuck… Please… Keep going…”

You felt it circle inside your walls, leaving trails of fire like warmth behind. Keeping you tightly pulled towards his face, he was drinking in your juices and ignoring the state of his own throbbing, neglected cock as he focus entirely on you.

His deep voice was feasting on you, fueled by your moans and growing more and more aroused as your sounds turned less and less rational but more like pleas and echoes of his name.

“S-Steve ! Please… F-Fuck, Steve don’t stop ! Oh god please !” You cry out loudly

You’re squirming around him, your hormones ruining your capacity to withstand the treatment of his tongue on you. He was caressing you thighs with his palms to try and sooth you a little but his cold ring adorned finger against your warm skin only made you tremble a little more.

His beard scratching your tender sk shock in, you could feel the burns form already, knowing that each step you would take would be sending wave all through your pussy, keeping the memory of his tongue inside you all fresh. You suffered as your husband fucked you with his tongue, quenching his thirst with your sweet juices. His tongue swirled around your clit, sucking it into his mouth and enjoying the way you squirm against his, writhing under his tongue, while you pushed him deeper in your core.

His own arousal, cock hard, red and angrily pushing against the front of his slacks, he kept swirling his tongue around you, as you fucked yourself on his face.

“Oh… Oh Stevie, God, fuck ! P-Please I’m so close, please baby !” You mewled, hands gripping his hair tightly.

Keeping his pace identical, the orgasm he pulls out of you is rough, making you collapse on the bed. Your quivering thighs tightened around your husband’s neck, keeping him in place. You feel your nipples, tender and sensitive, harden and rub against the fabric of your dress. You let your wetness cover your husband’s face, still lapping happily and making sure to not let a single drop out of his mouth. Hearing and feeling him groan again your cunt sends electricity all through your body.

You watched as he stood up, licking his lips for a little more taste of you. His bears was drenched in you, his favorite flavor, and you knew he would probably refuse to clean his face the next morning. You looked down to see a small patch of wetness on his pants, crown of his cock leaking heavy drops of cum. He would always get so hard from eating you out, you couldn’t believe that pleasuring you made him this aroused.

He grabbed you ankles and pulled you close to him, your cunt all soft and swollen against his heavy bulge. God, this man was massive, you always loved how difficult it was for him to fit inside your tight little self. You always kept him suffocated in your walls, he had to refrain from cumming to fast.

“S-Stevie… Baby please…”

The blond male chuckled, grinding against you before sinking his fingers deep in your fluttering velvety walls. He softly brought you up, holding your jaw for a kiss. The passion, love and desire were drowning your mind, you couldn’t think properly. You buckled your hips against his hand, tightening around him when you tasted yourself on his tongue. Circling in your mouth and wrapping itself against yours, you couldn’t help but instantly get wetter.

Pulling away to look at you, your man couldn’t hide his grin, pride in seeing how wrecked you were already.

“Tell me what you want first baby, I can have you against the table, the wall or I’m taking you to the bed. But if you pick the bed, we’re not leaving until I'm done with you. I have a mission, remember ?”

Your head was all fuzzy but you remembered clearly, Steve had promised to fuck all the bad thoughts out of your head and he always kept his promises to you. The last one being that he would have you pregnant by the end of the night, again, Steve Rogers was a man of his word and his wife was the first proof of it.

“I-I want the bed please… Can I have the bed Stevie ?” You asked, voice soft and needy, just like he liked it

Pulling you up by your waist and hooking your legs around his own, he kissed you all over your face, enjoy the small whimpers escaping your lips. You looked so needy right now, how could he refuse you anything ? It was already impossible in your normal state but in moments like these, he didn’t even think about the word “no”.

“I’ll take you to the bed babydoll, don’t worry about anything. ‘M gonna get you all messy and warm around me, you’d like that baby ? To make a mess on me ?” He taunts, knowing how much anticipation and eagerness his words create in you.

You nod vividly, ignoring how utterly desperate you look as your husband lifts you off the table and starts walking towards your bedroom. You try to keep yourself occupied by whining in his ear and grinding on his side, you didn’t care if you felt like a desperate slut. Steve was your husband and you would be his slut any day.

Once in your room, you were laid on the bed delicately, Steve’s body following your and keeping you pressed down on the mattress under his weight. His hand automatically came to grad your thighs and part them open for him. He helped you out of your dress and started to work his teeth, tongue and lips on your breast.

Kissing on your flesh and sucking it while keeping his eyes locked with your, he bit your nipples and sucked vigorously before detaching himself in a wet plop. Repeating the same moves on your other breast, he let his hips play between your thighs. His thick cock, hard and desperate for attention was rubbed against the soft silky bedsheets. He could feel himself get so close to cumming just from the taste of your skin alone, pleasuring you was how he pleasured himself and it had been the case for the last decade and even before.

His treatment on your tits made your head go blank, rapidly filling with heat and lust once again. Grabbing his hair tightly and pushing him further into you, your legs wrapped around his hips again to have him push his throbbing girth against you. You felt the tip poke deeper in your core, begging to be nicely stuffed in your fluttering, velvety walls.

“S-Steve… Stevie please, p-please baby…Need your cock… Please…” You whimpered, arching your back as he gripped and fondled with your breasts.

“Fuck… These are gonna get so big.” At the realization, you could see his pupils darken. “So big and full, so much more of you to play with. God you’re gonna be spoiling me princess.” He grinned, a nipple between his teeth

Letting go of your chest, he stood up, towering over you and making you squirm. He unbuckled his belt, letting it drop to the floor with his pants. Your hooded, list filled eyes, stared shamelessly as his cock pulsated again his stomach, leaking heavy drops of cum. You suddenly wanted him in your mouth, pouring his seed down your throat until your belly was full and you were satisfied. You knew he would give it to you if you asked but for now, you just wanted him inside you more.

Grabbing your thighs, he positioned his length close to your folds and rubbed it on you, teasing you in the cruelest way possible. Small droplets of tears gathered on the corners of your eyes, whines and pleas echoing around the room. He was so big, massive even and dripping of you needy cunt. You wanted his fat head to push inside you and tear you apart, like you knew he could, feeling the veins running along the sides burn into you tight hole. The heaviness was making you see stars, already fantasizing about him deep in you. You couldn’t help but squeal every time his fat balls met your pussy.

“P-Please Stevie, please don’t… D-Don’t tease… I-I wanna have you in me, I need your cock please Stevie…” You cried, reaching for the base of his dick, running your fingers on him. Your heart swelled when you heard him groan your name desperately.

He held his cock in his hand, stroking the slick you had spread on him before he backed up, positioning himself and invaded your insides slowly. You arched your back at the intrusion, remembering how thick and long he was when inside you. You felt like he was poking your lungs, draining out all the air in them. Your brain had short-circuited, shutting down completely from the moment you felt his tip on your clenching cunt. When his hips met your ass, fully in you, you lost your vision temporarily. You were seeing white light everywhere, you couldn’t tell if you had finished already or not.

“F-Fuck baby, you done already princess ? Missed my cock so much you already cumming all over me ? Already got your brain all broken ?” He chuckles while checking to see if you were okay. Looking over your face and delicately holding you up to face him, he inspection your features for any signs of discomfort or need to stop.

You kept quiet, eyes crossed and trying to say something. You could hear his voice but you were so far gone it was useless to try and think, until he tried to pull out to lay you on the bed. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you.

“Don’t… Don’t stop baby, please…” You begged, repeating his name like a mantra

Looking so fucked out already, desperate for him to fuck the negativity away, how could he deny you anything ? It was simply impossible, even more if you were begging for him so much.

Raising his hand to your cheek and stroking it softly, he brought you in for a deep kiss. His attempt to distract you was sweet, so, so sweet, but useless. The moment he stretched your pussy open around his thickness, you breath caught in your throat again as you threw your head back. Your mouth dropped open, trying to relax around your husband that you were squeezing for dear life. You felt him pulsate between your walls, you pussy begging to milk him for all he’s worth.

“It’s okay baby, I-It’s okay… You wanted my whole dick and I’m givin’ it to you baby… But you gotta breath okay ? I need you to try and breath for me, can you do that love ?” He asked, trying his hardest to keep still as you relaxed and started breathing again.

Smiling softly while focusing his adoring gaze on your glossy eyes, cockdrunk and in need to be fucked rough and raw. He recognized these eyes, they often followed you swallowing his cock and having your belly full of cum. Your mornings were animated.

Engaging in a steady but rough pace, he started pounding his swollen cock inside your fluttering walls. The bulbous head of his cock spearing through your insides and molding your cervix around him and making you moan loudly.

Keeping you pinned to the mattress under his weight, he angled his hips to hit the perfect spot repeatedly. The sound of skin slapping mixed with your moans and his grunts resulted in an obscene symphony, fulling your husband’s pride and turning you into a waterfall, wet slick pouring out of you and onto the bedsheets.

The roughness of his thrusts shared the desperation and neediness he felt, his entire being screaming to please you. You had been so good, keeping your best behavior all night and being the best wife the universe could create. And here you were, pussy spread open around him, taking his cock so deep and turning him completely brainless. He couldn’t think about anything but you, your beautiful body and heart given to him, you were a goddess and he had to meet your every demand, because that was his duty. Your

“God, fucking hell baby… Pussy so fucking tight, I-I can’t even fucking think straight…” He grunted, lips parted on your ear.

Your legs tightened around his waist, one of your hands wrapping around his biceps and the other draped over his back, your nails leaving deep red marks all over his skin. His primal groans echoing in your head, made your name sound so powerful when it came from his mouth. He left wet kisses along your jawline and neck, trying to hide his sounds a little bit to hear yours better.

“Ah…Steve, fuck… I-I need more please… P-Please give me more, please baby…” You moaned on his hair, trying to catch his magnificent blue eyes.

You let out a scream when his hips changed position, hitting you even deeper. You felt a familiar coil in the pit of your stomach form, your hand running down your belly to circle your thumb around your clit. Clamping around him, warm and wet velvety walls, he can feel your orgasm coming. He fucks you harder, his tip clearly visible in your belly. He brings your thighs up, pressing them to your chest and restraining your breathing. He pushes his cock even deeper in you, his pace desperate and destructive on your small hole. The sound of your slick coating his shaft and dripping onto his heavy balls drives you insane.

“Oh, oh, oh ! Fuck, so good Stevie, oh God ! So good, please !” You scream, orgasm dangerously close.

His violent pounding rocks the bed back and forth, headboard already making a dent on the wall.

“Come on princess, cum all around my cock, make a mess on me.” He groans through gritted teeth.

He palm tightly holding your thighs, you can feel the bruises he’ll leave on you, fingers flexing around your flesh. Letting go of you, he meets your hand playing with your clit to add his own fingers, making you wail in pleasure.

The knot in your belly unravels as your orgasm spreads through your body making you cry out. Your pussy tightening around him, he thrusts a little more before cumming deep in you. Face red and flushed, he looks at you and your beautiful expression, fucked out and smiling droopily. Your walls pulsate around him as he keeps spilling his seed in you. His hips moving still, he lowers himself again to kiss you passionately, swallowing the tiny whimpers coming out of you.

He roles over, laying on the mattress and bringing you up on top of him. He laid your bare chest over his and soothing your trembling body by caressing your back tenderly. He chuckled when you wrapped your arms around his neck and nuzzled against his neck, you were always so needy after making love, you needed your cuddles.

“Baby don’t fall asleep just yet, I gotta give you a little more remember ? Told you I would make all the bad thoughts go away.” He said, smiling at your hidden face.

“I don’t think there is any thoughts left Rogers…” you breathed out, chuckling at how genuinely empty your head was currently. “But you did swear you wouldn’t let me leave the bed… I’ll let you have your way baby, but please just a few minutes, can I have that ?” You pleaded, giving him puppy eyes to get your way.

He laughed loudly, knowing full well that he was folding already. Didn’t matter if his cock was already twitching inside you.

A comfortable silence settled between the both of you as you basked in the scent of the other and the tender touches you shared. This was what you deserved, a heathy comfortable marriage that would bring the best out of you both. You had been through hell, and this was the gift you deserved.

Raising yourself on your elbows, you looked into his blue eyes with a soft smile.

“You know I love you right ? You make me feel at home with you, like all the time I feel like I wasted before was worth it.” You chuckle

“It was love, it was worth it. We wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. It’s all thanks to you. All of it.” He affirmed, with confidence and honesty.

Yeah, it was all worth it. Going from beautiful but empty words to words so full of love you would never lack it again.

[moonbaby26]

Title: Diamond in the Rough

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Continuation from last chapter. You and the others get some more down time in your last day and night on the ship together. Reader talks about some sensitive things with Peter, culminating in more bonding and fluff at the end.

Warnings: Some cursing, mentions of sex and arousal. Nothing explicit though.

Chapters: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Taglist: @drikawinchester , @n0obmaster69 , @alexloveskili , @what-a-silver-lining , @bluesprings18 , @weakmoony-stuff , @slytherinsi-mp , @wintwrsoldiwr , @tommy-braccoli , @amourtentiaa , @cringingmemeries , @bi-panicatthe-disco , @himbos-are-my-lifeblood , @simp4mcuwomen

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

“So you really weren’t going to tell me that you just said ‘screw it, peace out, guys!’, and pulled the sacrifice card to throw yourself out of a plane?”

Peter’s voice carried through the barracks as he looked at you like you were the crazy one for once.

“Well...it was in the middle of crashing at the time.” You countered, much quieter by comparison and looking to Jean or Kurt for any help here. Some of you were sitting on the floor, others on the beds, roughly in a circle as you talked.

But Kurt only piped up to make it worse. “Yes, I did not like that at all. Next time we must find another way. I thought too that you’d chosen to go down with the plane so we could escape, (Y/N).”

“But you can fly right? None of us could fly.” Scott butted in a bit unexpectedly though, on your side of the argument no less.

“(Y/N) can levitate like me.” Jean corrected. “The flying is newer though, not yet perfected.” She smiled at you then in a way that told you she wasn’t about to let you back out of getting credit for that risk taken in Egypt. “You still hit the ground, hard.” She added. “I went back in your mind to make sure you’d made it after we teleported.”

The others all looked at you, and you tried not to lose your nerve. “My energy field was still up though when I hit. That’s the important part...”

“I mean I could jump off a building with a helmet on, I’m pretty sure it still wouldn’t work out for my head.” Peter retorted, though with a very self aware look before he finished. “And no, that’s not what’s wrong with me.”

Scott actually laughed at that, which surprised both you and Peter at least. Maybe he was different when alone with Jean, but in front of the group he’d stayed fairly no nonsense since Egypt. Though who could blame him for being a bit uptight after all he’d been through recently.

“We did all get pretty wrecked.” Peter admitted after a moment though. “Thanks for the save, Jean. Up top.” He held his hand up in front of her to signal for a high five.

She obliged, but a bit half heartedly. “I had the Professor in my head though, egging me on. He helped me unlock that. But I still couldn’t have done anything if you all hadn’t held that guy in place for that long for me. He just would have escaped.”

“I wonder what happened to the woman?” Kurt considered. “Do you think she learned her lesson too?”

“I doubt it,” Ororo answered then. “We called her Psylocke. But she just wanted to be more powerful. I don’t think she’d care now about who we hurt.” She looked at all of you at that. “I am sorry...if I hadn’t said well enough before. I thought he wanted to make the world better for us, but he didn’t. He really did just want to control everyone, human and mutant alike. I was wrong.”

Scott shrugged. “You figured it out by the time it really mattered.”

“And he probably just would have tried to kill you if you’d shown disloyalty any sooner than that,” You agreed.

“Can’t stay mad at anybody with a sick mohawk like that anyway.” Peter commented too, clearly admiring her hair.

Ororo chuckled. “If I’d known other mutants like you all before, things likely would have been a lot different.”

“Well you know us now.” Jean offered.

“Yes, I’m new here too,” Kurt added. “There’s a lot to learn. I’m glad Raven found me as well to bring me to the school. I never had mutant friends either in the circus.”

“Woah, wait. You were in a circus? Like the whole bit? Elephants and clowns and stuff?” Peter turned his head to look at him, curiosity easily peaked.

“Ja.” Kurt replied.

As those two went off into a separate conversation about whether or not there’d been bearded ladies, strong men, and the like in the Bavarian circus, you just looked back to Jean.

“We’ll definitely have a lot to catch up on when we get home. You think Jubilee is going to be mad that she missed all the action?” You asked, only half joking.

“Oh man,” Jean conceded. “She’ll be all over us wanting details.”

But her next words surprised you a little as her voice so easily transitioned just into your mind afterward for privacy, her lips no longer moving.

“You know as soon as she finds out you met someone, she’s going to go nuts wanting details about Peter.”

You could only look at her for a moment. It was such a strange thing to consider. This had all happened so fast. But with her bringing up that point, it was the first time you’d really thought about what it would be like to potentially introduce him to other friends of yours back home, to try and communicate what he meant to you already.

Could you call him your boyfriend? Would you say you were dating? He’d already called himself that label, but did that mean you could say it? Would the others even believe it was possible to feel these things for someone you’d only known such a short time? Would they think you were naive, or just caught up in the whirlwind of the moment and that this would all fade?

“Hey, relax. I wasn’t trying to send you into a tailspin.” Jean’s mental voice broke back through that wave of anxious thoughts. “I haven’t known Scott for very long either. If anyone wants to waste energy judging us, I would say that’s their problem.”

“Yeah,” You just answered then, remembering you still needed to respond in a way that made sense to the last thing she’d actually said out loud, about Jubilee. But you went quiet afterward, letting the others steer the conversation to new things as you all continued just trying to pass the time.

It wasn’t too very long later though when you’d had another visitor to the barracks. You were all a bit surprised to see Moira walk in, noticeably without the Professor and carrying something in her hands.

“Some new brass arrived today, or officials I mean. They wanted to speak to Charles themselves.” She said quickly, obviously realizing by your looks that you were all wondering the same thing of where he was. “But I wanted to come by and take care of this for the ones that needed pictures.”

As she spoke, she raised up the thing in her hands as if that should also be some clear explanation for her purpose here. It still took you a moment honestly to realize it for what it was, accompanied by what she’d said.

“For your licenses and passports that we’re printing.” She clarified anyway before continuing, the polaroid camera in her hands. “You two,” She pointed at you and Peter, and then at Raven. “And you. You already had valid driver’s licenses. We’ll reuse those photos for a new license and passport. Charles wanted everyone to have both, as you’ll still need to travel within the U.S. as well once we’re back. The rest of you I need current photos of.”

The thought of Peter actually taking the time to get a driver’s license seemed pretty absurd when he could travel anywhere much faster on foot, but before you could ask him anything, Hank was speaking up.

“But I already had a license and a passport,” Hank responded in some confusion.

Moira looked a little awkward, but still answered kindly. “But the pictures were of you before. It won’t match how you look right now for us to get back into the country.”

Raven snickered and Hank shot her an unamused look.

“Uh, but I can’t take off my glasses. You want me to take it with my eyes closed?” Scott asked dryly, though it was a legitimate question.

Belatedly you realized this also meant he’d been completely prepared to drive one of the Professor’s cars illegally then, before you’d asserted yourself to be the one to drive you all to the mall that day. This was a mental note you’d have to save for later.

“Glasses on is fine. We’ll note it as a medical exemption.” Moira answered easily, though already looking for a spot to have them stand against. “And this might actually be better to do in the hallway, if you could- Hey!” Her hands were abruptly empty, as she startled, then looking around.

You blinked after the flash that came almost simultaneously. A hand squeezed your shoulder before Peter pulled back away, the stolen camera in his other hand as the photo began to eject from it.

“I thought you couldn’t move like that with your leg,” Moira chided, now realizing what had happened. “And that thing isn’t mine to break, just so we’re clear.”

“You’re like three feet away, I don’t have to run if I can just lean over and grab it.” Peter responded smoothly, pulling the photo out before offering her back the camera. “So what, that thing is CIA issue? If I push the wrong button is it going to laser me or something?”

“No.” She huffed. But didn’t look as if she wished to extend the conversation any further to get drug into this right now. She just motioned for the others to follow her into the hall as she then turned away. “Come on, guys. We’ll try to make this quick.”

Peter didn’t seem to mind either way, just putting his attention back to the photo he was now holding as if it were a prize. “What do you think?” He asked you after a moment, the image becoming more and more visible as the film developed.

You saw yourself there, though surprisingly not a terrible image considering you hadn’t even been prepared. Your expression in the photo was simply neutral, glancing elsewhere even as Peter’s smile was wide and bright, him leaning in with his face almost touching yours in the photograph.

“I’ve taken worse,” you said truthfully, but then looked back to him, amused at his seeming satisfaction with it. You wondered if he was actually planning on keeping the photo, instead of it just being a little joke. Wouldn’t he rather a better one at least?

“What?” He questioned, seeing your expression. He flicked the photo gently. “It proves you’re real if anyone asks later.”

“Why would you have to prove...” But you ended up just smiling, and gave up before you even really started, seeing how happy he still looked. “If you want a picture together, I’m sure she’d let us take another if we asked. You know, if we asked nicely, and didn’t just steal her camera this time.”

“I like this one.” He insisted though, holding onto it regardless. “It really looks like you.”

“Um...wouldn’t I always look like me?” You asked quizzically.

“It’s real,” He tried to explain. “Natural? If we took another you’d just smile on purpose.”

You still didn’t fully understand. He was smiling in the picture after all. But to his point maybe, he did look almost giddy in the photo. Not something you would be able to replicate on command. “Okay.” You said, fine either way. “If you like that best.”

“There is something I think I’m going to ask Moira anyway though when she comes back,” He admitted.

It wasn’t very long either until you were able to find out what that was.

When the others did start to file back in after taking their pictures in the hallway, Moira had just leaned in the doorway briefly to thank them. “We’ll have these made up in time for tomorrow for your travel documents, thank you.”

She was already turning to leave again before Peter stopped her.

He cocked his head, piping up. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

She did pause, but her look back at him was slightly wary. Likely not knowing if this would be more humor or not. “Yes?”

He didn’t mess around though this time, just getting to the point outright. “Do you think you could send somebody to my Mom’s house? You know, just to say everything’s cool and I’ll be home soon? She’s probably losing her mind right now.”

Moira’s expression changed fully at that, empathy going to the forefront. “Of course. Yes. What’s her name? Her address?”

That mood faded just as quickly though as he raised his eyebrows, teasing. “Well shouldn’t the CIA know that?”

She sighed. Staring at him as the annoyed look returned.

“You’re so serious,” Peter smirked. “Magda Maximoff, suburbs outside D.C.” He rattled off a street address afterward, but still continued, “We’re in the phonebook anyway. Prof.’s been there too, he’d know.”

“We’ll look it up.” She agreed. “See you guys later.”

With that she was gone. The rest of you settled back, just sitting and talking again. And you’d gone off with Peter down by your beds after a while. Just the two of you again.

You’d realized obviously before now by their interactions that the Professor had met Peter at some point previous to his coming to the mansion the other day. But like so many things, in the rush of everything, you hadn’t learned much more.

“So Xavier’s been to your house. Was he trying to recruit you for the school?” You asked, honestly just curious. Though it was a little disappointing to consider you may have had a chance to meet Peter much sooner if he’d accepted any kind of invitation like that then.

You had been sitting on the bottom bunk together again, but he leaned back behind you now, stretching before putting his arms behind his head. He pulled his legs and cast awkwardly back up into the bed as you shifted to try and let him get how he wanted.

He looked pretty content though as he lowered an arm back to put it across your lap. “Well that was years ago. He had hair, he was walking. He didn’t want me for your little private school though. He just wanted me to help them spring my dad from the Pentagon...but I don’t think he knew it was my dad either then. It was all Logan’s plan to bring me. Really I didn’t find out much else. These dudes just showed up at my house, and I went with them to commit a felony.” He shrugged a little. “Probably not that smart, right? But I didn’t have anything else cool to do that day I guess.”

You wondered how much of that story Xavier would really tell you if you asked one day. You could only imagine what reasoning someone like the Professor would have to do something so brazen, even if it was to help Erik. Especially when Xavier had always preached to you all the importance of staying within the law and not using your powers to exploit any rules that would apply to non mutants. For now, you only asked a little bit more though. “How many people actually came to your house to do that then?”

“Oh, it was just three. Prof., Hank, and Logan.”

Well that made it even more interesting really. Hank was also so well known for always following the rules. But then again, he also was one of Xavier’s longest friends, like Raven and Erik. They’d all known each other since many years ago.

But this was the second time Peter had said this name of ‘Logan’. Shouldn’t you know that name? Well yes, you knew at least one. You couldn’t forget the name Jean had told you back in Stryker’s base. The man who’d gone on a rampage, though also cutting you violently from your own restraints before he’d escaped. Honestly you might even have scars from that when this was all said and done. But the name in and of itself wasn’t that unusual of a name. And what Peter was talking about apparently occurred years ago.

“I don’t think I know a Logan,” You said honestly. “Was he a mutant too?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Peter answered, raising up a closed fist. He made a noise, and a motion you didn’t understand as if he was doing something in midair with his fist, before adding. “Three big claws come shooting out this dude’s hand. It was so gross, but badass.”

You stared, the realization finally hitting hard. It couldn’t be a coincidence then. “Peter!” You exclaimed abruptly. There was just no way they were two different people. It was too unique of a mutation. “That’s the guy!”

“Huh?” He looked up at you in surprise. Confused at your sudden excitement.

“The one from the base! Didn’t Jean tell you?” Without thought, you lifted your shirt enough to show him those long claw marks still red across your stomach. They were dry now, already trying to heal. But it was three in a row, still clear as day. “The guy that tore through all those soldiers and freed me, she told me that his name was Logan.”

“She didn’t tell me that.” Peter stammered slightly, definitely caught off guard as you’d raised your shirt. “She just said to expect you to be bloody when I went looking for you.” He was staring at your exposed skin now though. “So Logan did that?”

You tensed slightly as you felt his fingertips graze your abdomen. It wasn’t unpleasant, just a bit unexpected. You lowered your shirt back down, but noticed obviously when he just let his hand stay under it.

When you didn’t show further aversion to the touch though, his hand continued idly wandering on the skin that was unbroken. “Well damn, that’s super screwed up then. I know they said a guy went full rage mode and tore the place up. And yeah, I saw the bodies he left when I went looking for you. But they didn’t say his name. I didn’t see him either before he took off.”

“It has to be the same person.” You reiterated. “But if you really want to be sure, you can always think of those memories of him, the Logan that you knew. If you let Jean look into your thoughts later, she could tell you for certain if it was him.

Peter looked a little disconcerted, but just agreed anyway. “Yeah, sure. I just, man how long did they have him there then? What a dick that Stryker guy was. Fuck him.”

But after the little bit of anger, he was only looking back at you. That thought of Stryker seeming to also remind him of your initial meeting with him. “How’s your ribs?”

You felt his fingers trail up across them at the question. “Sore,” You admitted. “But what isn’t?”

His voice was quieter then though, his hand moving back down before it reached your chest. “Then don’t jump out of any more planes please.”

You paused, wondering if he really was so bothered about that to have brought it up again. You’d all played so fast and loose that day though, doing whatever you felt you had to do. “It was a big day of firsts that’s for sure.”

“No kidding.” He agreed.

And nothing was ever going to be the same again was it? Even when you were all home again and the mansion was finally rebuilt. Were you all just going to go back to class like you hadn’t almost died? Would you just pretend that you didn’t know there were still entities out there that wanted you dissected, destroyed, or both?

“I think it gave the Professor a lot to think about too.” Is what you finally said. “I feel like he’s going to change some things going forward. But I don’t know how much yet. I don’t know if this could really mean the resurrection of the X-Men.” It was a crazy thought. Xavier and Hank never really liked to talk about that part of their past. They’d lost a lot then, or at least that’s always what you’d inferred from the bits and pieces you had heard over the years.

“X-Men...” Peter repeated, making a face like he wasn’t sure if it was a decent name or not. “Guess it’d still be better than being called Charlie X’s Angels or something like that.”

You smirked. “You know they used to all have codenames too.” Though you were sure not all of them were self named. “Xavier was just Professor X, Hank was Beast, Raven was Mystique, Scott’s brother Alex was Havok, your dad was Magneto of course. But there was Banshee, Darwin, and Tempest as well.”

He gave you a contemplative look. “Can I call you Lite-Brite then?”

Your look must have clearly said no, but he just kept going, very amused at your reaction.

“Glo-Worm?” He offered instead.

“Seriously? You’d name me after a bug?”

“Nah, they’ve got these super cute toy ones. Wanda had one. She slept with that thing all the time. They glow when you hug them.” He was grinning again now. “I mean, you’re comforting too right? Think I could make you glow?”

“I don’t think it works that way.” But honestly you might be lying to save face as he was now rubbing his hand further up into your shirt again.

“Don’t we all lose a little control when we get excited?” He countered, his tone getting a little more dangerous. “I know I do.”

You felt that statement was likely a bit of a trap, hesitating as your curiosity swelled. What could happen with his powers if he did have an uncontrolled moment like that? He was likely right though. Just like the onset of mutant powers came for most of you around the same time as puberty, they could also be triggered by intense emotions or stress. So it was reasonable to think that another powerful feeling such as arousal could also lead to some issues for those of you already less experienced in controlling yourselves.

“Brings a whole new meaning to safe sex doesn’t it?” He said as he let go of you then, putting his hands back behind his head. He still looked too amused, even though he seemed to sense when you needed another break from the touching to process your own thoughts.

“Did that happen with her?” You asked though. Not afraid, but yes, maybe some concern in your expression. You really hadn’t considered any of this before.

His smile faded at the unexpected mention of Crystal again. But he only hesitated a little, looking at you as he answered honestly. “Sometimes. She uh, burnt me a couple times. In the literal sense. She was like the band, Earth, Wind, and Fire. I mean she could control water too, but I liked the band joke better.” He frowned slightly. “She always hated that joke though.”

“Did you do anything to her?” You responded quietly before you could think better of it. Was this really any of your business? No, not really. But, it could be a part of your future.

There was a little surprise in his eyes, but his answer was immediate. “Babe, I’m the last person you’d ever have to be afraid of.” He looked bothered still as he continued though. “And no, I never hurt her. She would have knocked me into next week if I had.”

“So what does happen if you lose control that way?” You still asked, deciding you still did want to know.

He gave you an awkward look. But if he was going to offer out this information, it seemed there was going to at least be a small price for it. “If I’m really riled up? Turned on? You can say it outright you know.”

You weren’t going to say it in any more explicit way than that though, but you nodded at least. “Yes, you know what I mean.”

He sighed at your modesty, but reached out his hand after a moment. “Let me see your wrist then. Way easier just to show you.”

Well, if it was anything dangerous, he wouldn’t be so casual about it would he? You did offer him your wrist, not knowing what to expect as he clasped his hand around it.

You could tell he was focusing on something for just a moment, before the oddest sensation you’d ever felt shot from your wrist, down into your fingertips, and all the way up into your shoulder before you jerked your hand back in surprise.

Your reaction didn’t seem to faze him at all though as he’d easily let you go. It looked like you’d only done exactly as he expected. “You’ll still feel it for a bit after, just so you know.”

And you could still feel it, fading but definitely there as you flexed your fingers. “What did you do?” It wasn’t painful, but it was like a tingling, instantaneous whenever he’d done it. Not just through the skin, but into the bone, the muscle, everything. The only thing you could liken it to at all is when a limb woke up from being asleep, yet it wasn’t as uncomfortable as that and it was far deeper.

“Well you asked what happens if I get too excited. I, uh, vibrate?” He tried to call it something without really knowing what to call it. “I’m no science guy, but I’d guess it moves everything I’m touching down to what, the atoms right? So that’s what you’d feel. But it wouldn’t just be from my hand. I was doing it on purpose there. If it wasn’t on purpose it’d be literally all of me doing it.”

So that would mean, well...that would be a very intense sensation to say the least if you would happen to be having skin to skin contact in more places than one when he would accidentally do that. You tried not to let your expression change much at the realization. The last thing you wanted to do was to throw this very personal dialog further down into the gutter.

“I still think you’d glow though.” He added confidently. “And if your energy deal is always as warm as it was in that elevator shaft back at the base, I think it’d feel really good too. Just for the record.”

Yes, this was definitely teetering on that edge of going fully into a place you weren’t ready for just yet. But you only had yourself to blame. You asked him to elaborate, and he did. You knew your powers could be a lot more than harmless though. Much more than warmth. You didn’t know if it’d be too pessimistic to mention that right now though.

“I don’t know what I would do.” You finally said, just speaking the truth when you didn’t know what else to say.

“We can talk about something else you know if you want.” He poked you gently in the arm, seemingly offering you an escape route if you wished to take it. “Like we’re still going to the mall at some point right?”

“Definitely.” You answered gladly.

“You should come over too, play some video games when we get back. I’ve got an Atari and a Nintendo. Or we could watch a movie. You like Bruce Lee? Karate Kid? Stuff like that?”

The genuine eagerness emerging in his tone was something you really appreciated. A reminder that in reality, even though he evidently enjoyed any physical contact he was allowed to have with you, it was only a part of the whole picture. He just wanted to be around you too.

“Yes, I think that’d be awesome. I haven’t seen many of those movies, but usually Jubilee picks for movie night. Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles...over and over.”

He laughed. “Oh, no way. There’s more to life than Molly Ringwald. Time to expand your horizons!”

You were smiling too, about to say something back when Scott’s voice carried from further down the barracks.

“Hey, they brought dinner if either of you want to eat!”

“But is it even worth a crap!?” Peter called back immediately and just as loudly.

“Heck if I know!” Scott answered and you could swear you heard a lot less loud Jean tell him to quit yelling in her ear.

“I’m still salty about that fake strawberry garbage from earlier.” Peter said, just to you then as he sat back up.

It wasn’t much of a surprise to you though that the food would be brought to you all this time, considering the episode in the mess hall before. The only thing that did surprise you was that it would already be dinner time. Though it was hard to have much concept of time right now really, especially when there were no windows to see the sun or sky below deck.

But it did give it more of that prison feel too. The hours running together, locked away in close quarters, and now with government mandated food being dropped off impersonally. It either felt like prison or being in a rare species exhibit at the zoo.

“Well, you said you’re like a hummingbird metabolism wise, right? You have to eat something.” You spoke, while hanging back to give Peter a chance to get up on his crutches.

Really the hummingbird analogy you were liking more and more though as you personally thought they were adorable, and they literally were the bird equivalent to him in your opinion. This flamboyant little bird that beat its wings so fast it could actually hover in place or disappear in a blur once they did decide to take off. Not to mention the exclusive high sugar diet.

“Glo-Worm,” Was all he replied back, but very pleased when it still got a strong reaction from you.

“Please don’t make that one stick. It’s a lot less cute than Hummingbird.”

But he just offered a non-committal smile, walking past you. “We’ll see.”

—————���————

Some few hours later, when it was time for lights out again, Peter had wanted to take a shower so you were already in the bottom bunk alone.

You tried to stay awake to wait for him, but you must have already been asleep for how bad you startled when you felt something pressing down against the mattress beside you.

And when you shot up, you were even more confused at the sudden pressure against the top of your head before you finally woke up enough to realize Peter now had his hand splayed there, pushing your head back a little.

“Woah,” He whispered in the dark. “You about nailed the top of the bunk. It’s just me.”

You relaxed, trying to look at him before you felt him let go, laying down beside you. As you laid down as well, he shifted several times, trying to get comfortable.

“I hate this damn cast.” He complained. “Do you know how weird it is to have to shower with a garbage bag tied around your leg?”

You could feel his still wet hair though on the pillow as he nuzzled in closer with you. You’d both joked a little earlier about looking forward to getting to share this bed one more time tonight before heading back to the U.S. and your sort of more normal lives tomorrow. The emphasis of the joking though had been about getting to continue the kissing that had been interrupted on the flight deck.

But now that you were here, you found you really just wanted to hold him and enjoy the warmth and quiet together. Because you didn’t know when this chance would come again. Would you go your separate ways tomorrow? You back to New York and wherever the other displaced students were now staying, and him back to D.C. to reunite with his mother? He wouldn’t be able to run and come to find you again until his cast was off. And how many weeks would that take, even with mutant healing factors?

You didn’t really know what the exact plan was after you’d arrive in the U.S. either, but maybe there was something you could do after all. “Hey.” You said quietly after a bit, hoping he was still awake.

“Mmm?” He made a questioning noise, hugging a bit tighter to you.

You took it as enough response to say that he was listening. “So they said that we’re landing in New Jersey tomorrow, right? Well everyone else is going to want to go north to get back to Salem Center, New York.” You didn’t really need to clarify where the school had been though, he’d obviously already found it. “But you’ll need to go south to get back to D.C., and it’s not like Xavier is going to expect you to find your own way home. Someone’s going to have to drive you and-”

But Peter didn’t even let you finish, already very on board with the idea. “And we give Prof. the old puppy eyes and beg for it to be you.” You knew he was grinning again then just by his tone. “I like it. Road trip.”

You felt relief that he approved of your spur of the moment plan, but then again he’d already said he wanted you to come over to his house sometime. You wouldn’t be able to stay very long you were sure, but at least you’d get the car ride together if this all worked out. And you’d get to see where he lived, maybe even hang out for a little while before having to drive back to New York.

It was funny how just like that you now had something to look forward to again. But would Xavier really be on board? Would he feel comfortable letting you drive back alone? You’d just have to convince him that you were old enough now and capable.

“I guess I should have cleaned my room a little better before I left.” Peter mused. “Can be a bit of a train wreck, just like the dude that lives in it.”

“Oh, someone else lives there too?” You teased slightly.

But Peter only played along. “Yeah, a real piece of work. Guy just plays video games all day, and wears out the same shitty records playing them over and over with the volume up. Maybe reads some comic books or jets off to nab some Twinkies from the convenience store down the block. Real outstanding citizen. I heard he’s dating now though. Who the hell would want that charity project?”

“Hmm.” You knew he was only half joking, Peter really still seeing himself in the way he just described to a large degree. But you were patient, and determined to keep working on building his self confidence little by little. “I think if he met someone then, it’d be someone who believes in the old ‘diamond in the rough’ expression. They must really just like him for him. They probably even see his real value even when he can’t yet.”

Peter was quiet for a few moments at that before you felt him run a hand through your hair. “I guess that would make him really lucky then. He probably should bust his ass to make sure he doesn’t disappoint them then and screw that one up.”

You smiled softly. “All he has to do is be himself. If you have to fight too hard just to maintain a relationship, it likely was never right to begin with.”

“Been there, done that.” He at least agreed, but was now running his fingers down along your face.

You knew what he was hoping for and leaned in to meet him as you kissed. It was very soft though, like he was still thinking of what you’d said. He didn’t press for much more either, just a few more kisses before he nuzzled his face back down against you.

“I’m still going to do the best I can.” He spoke quietly against your neck. “I want you to be happy.”

“I am.” You said. Feeling every bit of those words as you stayed warm against one another. It felt safe. It felt right.

And no one said anything else. You were both content to leave it that way, falling asleep just as you were.

———————————

(Continued in next chapter here)

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

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@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

After that gorgeous sequel rant, would you be willing to share your thoughts on reylo?

Ugh.

Once again, that is the most succinct, easiest, answer I can supply. But it's so short, and that just won't do.

I mentioned in a recent post that Dramione comes in a myriad of disguises. Every fandom usually has at least one Dramione ship, you can usually guess which characters the ship will consist of, and while you might not be able to articulate exactly what about it makes it so damn similar to Dramione you will recognize it on sight.

Usually, to me, a Dramione ship features a strong, independent, female lead who may be varying levels of sexually empowered, varying levels of intelligent (Hermione loves to tell us how smart she is but it's not the heart of the ship), is strong, courageous, and noble who depending on the story du jour might slide into depravity.  The real give away is her love interest, always a man, usually a young man of comparable age, who has the bad boy appeal that's not too bad boy where he often is redeemed to the good side for 'reasons' in the course of the story.

Reylo is such a Dramione pairing.

You don't believe me? Look at the authors who write it, I haven't done this too often myself, but I guarantee you that a not small majority of them will either write Draco/Hermione or will have it all over their favorites and bookmarks. It's the same damn pairing.

But worse.

Because Kylo-Ren and Rey aren't really characters.

"Whoa, hold up!", you say, "That's just slander and uncalled for!" Well, change my mind. Rey Palpatine and Kylo-Ren are a series of character tropes and archetypes thrown to us by Disney screaming "LOVE MY CHARACTERS".

Rey is our noble, very Luke like, hero who is a scrappy desert rat with overwhelming mystical powers only acknowledged when the movies feel like acknowledging them (guys, admit Rey kicked Kylo-Ren's ass every time they fought with 0 training, come on, it's not hard).

However, there is nothing underneath her surface. Her hero worship of the resistance feels dull and given to her because it's expected. Of course Rey likes the resistance! The resistance is great! Sign her up! Rey has been living in the desert at the edge of nowhere for presumably 15 years, I'm shocked she's even heard of the new republic let alone the resistance. Despite essentially starving and only having a home that's a broken down old fighter, Rey saves a random droid. We're not really given a compelling reason of why she would do this, that she has a deep respect for droids/is horrified by their use, really really really hates the random trader she sells things to, or really really really hates the empire (if she even realizes it's them behind the bounty). She does it just so that a) the plot keeps moving b) to show Rey is... noble... I guess?

Remember that even Luke (who I have some problems with as a character) started his journey with more backstory and personality than this. Luke loved the empire and desperately wanted to become a pilot. He was very put out that his aunt and uncle kept saying, "Uh, no, bad idea." Luke was ready to skip town and sign on up for flight academy, he just got distracted by pretty women, er, his sister.

So, Rey is never given a compelling reason to do any of the things she does in the series. Just vague feelings of hero worship. And, of course, the drama over her parents. Just... I feel like Disney took out a hat, put a bunch of pieces of paper with words on them, and drew out the one that said "orphan angst about parents" and said "See, now she's conflicted! What a character!"

So yeah, Rey is your cardboard generic hero who is so generic she's not even a person. She has no hopes, no dreams, no fears, just these vague things we're told as an audience she cares about but never shown in any legitimate manner. Rey likes the resistance and rando droids, Rey imprints on Han Solo as the father she never had, Rey has this thing about her parents, Rey is attracted to Kylo Ren.

And that last one, oh boy that last one. It sold me less on the attraction to Kylo Ren than... oh... I don't know... Palpatine's secret Sith planet of doom. I mean, we all saw it coming, The Last Jedi it was very clear where that was going and then Abrams went for it even harder. But what we had was a series of skype conversations where Rey went from "Gr, you killed my pseudo father!" and Kylo-Ren responding, "Yeah, well he was my real father AND HE WAS SO MEAN" to "Oh Ben, I will fly to you through space and we shall save the galaxy together!"

I am given no reason to believe Rey's change of heart. Han Solo's death just suddenly... doesn't really mean much to her anymore (the man was murdered by his son in cold blood so that his son could feel better about himself). She believes Ben Solo is good now because Luke is a dick (never mind that, no matter what a dick Luke is, Ben Solo still murdered dozens of children and then went on to gleefully massacre his way through the galaxy). We're told there's a Force Dyad, which is um... not this thing the writer's made up because they were too lazy to convince me that Kylo-Ren and Rey would end up together in any organic way.

So, yeah, why does Rey like Kylo-Ren? Because the Force told her too? Because it was somehow all Snoke's fault in a way that's never properly described? (Indeed despite us spending quite a bit of time on Kylo-Ren's decision to remain Kylo-Ren being a very internalized thing) Because we saw him shirtless in yoga pants this one time?

It's bad when that last is actually the most legitimate reason I can think of out of the whole lot.

Now let's go to Kylo-Ren. If Rey is boring and nonsensical then Kylo-Ren is a dumpster fire and non-sensical. The guy reminds me a lot of Commodus from the film "Gladiator", the man is cowardly, vile, and murders his father in despair that his father never will be capable of loving him/passes him over for the throne. Kylo-Ren's murder of Han Solo is extremely similar to the murder of Marcus Aurelius in "Gladiator". Han Solo is a flawed father, trying to make his peace with his son, who approaches him unarmed and Kylo-Ren decides to murder him in order to solidify his place in the dark side.

Only, the films never acknowledge that every action Kylo-Ren takes is horrifying.

We're told "oh, Kylo-Ren exists because evil Snoke corrupted him" but also shown repeatedly that Kylo-Ren chooses the darkest path again and again and again. He "struggles with the light" but I don't see it. His opening scene, he has massacred a village and is torturing a man for information (this is presumably a daily routine for him). In the same film he later tortures Rey for information. He serves on a Death Star which wipes out billions in an instant. He murders his father to feel good about himself. He dresses as a man who was reviled and feared throughout the galaxy, a man who murdered countless children, and a man who dressed the way he did because he was barely hanging onto life, because Kylo-Ren thinks it makes him look like a badass. Think about it, this is like if a fully abled Kylo-Ren is wheeling around in a wheel chair, perfectly capable of walking, because he thinks that Professor X is so cool. Now, replace Professor X with Hitler, this is what the movies gave us.

Yet, the films seem to take it for granted that Kylo-Ren is a redeemable character. He's just lost and misguided, he's really struggling with the light and dark side! They don't just tell us this over and over again (which they do) but also just assume we know it.

And base the entire Reylo pairing off of it. Reylo believed Kylo-Ren could be redeemed, they battle Snoke together, then Kylo-Ren stabs her in the back and continues the assault on the Resistance and asks her to be his Dark Queen (TM). Reylo is shocked and appalled, I'm just wondering what movie she thought she was watching, because that was coming a mile away.

Later, when Kylo-Ren is redeemed, we're never given a reason why it happens. Leia just gives him a nagging, one word, phone call and then Han Solo shows up to go, "Ben, are you going to do the right thing?" and Ben goes, "Mumble, grumble, fine" because there's only an hour left in the last film.

Kylo-Ren, like Rey, is the writers' desperate attempt to create a compelling anti-hero with all the anti-hero sauce we love. They just won't admit they made an overgrown genocidal toddler.

Wow, this turned into why I hate both Rey and Kylo Ren, but, uh, back to the ship. Basically, the films give me 0 reason to ever believe it, and even if I wanted to, even if I said "Alright brain, let's make these characters real people for once", I still wouldn't like it. Because the ship itself is just as flat as the characters. It's spicy but not too spicy bad boy gets together with strong female lead.

I know a lot of people enjoy this, and I won't say it's any less legitimate than any of the weirdness I ship, but I'm not one of them. And the whole thing just makes me go "ugh".

[kallypsowrites]

The Darkling and the “Extremist Leader” Trope

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Darkling lately (I know, a shock, you cannot tell this from the everything on my dash) and while within the text I don’t exactly want a redemption arc for him, I am still annoyed with how much Leigh simplified his character in order to simplify the conflict.

I remember reading in an interview in the back of one of the books that she didn’t want things to simple. That she wanted her readers to be drawn in by the Darkling because he’s charismatic and complex and all that. And while he’s certainly one of the most interesting characters and I love him to death as a villain I also love him for how much more he could have been. And I think one of my main gripes with the trajectory of his arc ultimately comes from the common fantasy trope he falls into: the leader of a group of marginalized people who is ultimately too extreme or power hungry.

We’ve seen this trope constant times in media. Magneto (X-Men), Amon (Korra), that one guy from RWBY who’s name I can’t remember (Adam right? It was Adam?). Dolores from Westworld (though who even KNOWS what was happening with her in season 3. I still haven’t fully processed that mess). In these worlds the mutants or non-benders or faunus or robots are on the bottom rung of society. They have legitimate struggles. They have reason to be angry or upset. They long for safety. And then a leader arises--strong or charismatic or both--and tells them that they SHOULD feel angry. They are right to want more. And they have a plan to get it for them.

But gosh darn it they’re just too EXTREME. They murder people (Magneto, Dolores), they have an excessive vendetta against their ex- girlfriend and also murder people (Adam), or they’re lying about their true intentions/past and they murder people (Amon). And it renders them unsympathetic. It encourages us to root against them and instead side with a more moderate/neutral party (Professor X, Korra, Blake, most of the other main character robots in Westworld etc).

The Darkling certainly falls into this trope. His original motivation was to make a place for Grisha where they don’t have to be afraid. And with every other surrounding country fucking MURDERING them for various reasons, that’s fair enough. But gosh darn it he just gets too power hungry. He murders and tortures people. He lies about his past/intentions. And he’s definitely got a vendetta against his ex-girlfriend. We must root instead for our more moderate Grisha who don’t want total rebellion/overthrowing of the monarchy that has done nothing but use Grisha for their own personal gain.

The problem with this trope is how it turns our focus--it makes it about a fight of ideals within the marginalized group and not about a fight against the system that marginalized them. Because maybe we deal with that system to a point. But it isn’t the real villain. The ultimate evil that must be destroyed is the extremist leader.

Now some of the examples I’ve given have done interesting things with this trope. Amon actually not being a non-bender and just using the group was an intriguing twist. X-men has explored Magneto’s motivations and made him less villainous/ more complex in several different stories. Westworld was good with morally grey framing so that it never fully condemned any one party. And...fuck it I haven’t watched RWBY since season 3. Let me know if Adam suddenly got complex or something. But no matter what they do with the trope, it still makes the extremist more evil in order to make it easier to defeat them/kill them.

It’s not that you can’t have people with questionable methods. Debates about how to handle the situation. Moral greys are good to explore in fiction. But when you have a character from a marginalized group do something over the top bad just to make the audience separate from them. Why? Why make it that easy?

The Darkling still could have been brutal. Harsh. Cold. Focused singularly on his goal to find Grisha a place without thinking about the moral quandaries. Alina still could have clashed with him over that. And heck, it’d be nice to see the Grisha who sided him like...at all, because they are essentially as developed as his shadow demons--a faceless enemy we don’t have to feel conflicted about killing. Every over the top bad thing he does which doesn’t serve his goal just feels like something to make the choice ‘easier’ for the reader. It robs the story of complexity.

Because our heroes ultimately don’t think much about how to get Grisha more rights, change the system. It’s an afterthought to the conflict of ‘defeat the Darkling’. Instead of any sort of widespread social change, the solution is putting a nice guy on the throne. Which, I love Nikolai, but it feels like a bandaid on a much larger problem.

The story makes sense if you consume it in a bubble and it’s perfectly fine. But when you observe it next to a lot of other fantasy stories, a pattern starts to emerge. That the system isn’t the main villain. It’s the person trying just a little too hard to overthrow it. I’m certainly not saying that’s what Leigh was going for, but it is there.

Guess I’m just wishing for a little more complexity and moral greys at the end of the day and a little more focus on the plight of Grisha’s in this world. If you’re going to have an oppression narrative in your fantasy, you gotta fully dive into it But I still enjoy the books, and the character of the Darkling for what they are. There’s just a ‘what could have been’ element to it.

[blossom-hwa]

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 6

Episode 6 jumps us into the case of a disappearing woman, Zhou Weiwei, with the SID team being on the scene, taking the unofficial statement of her fiancé, Ji Xiaobai. While in terms of the actual investigation this case is even thinner than usual, thematically its juicy. It’s musing on the self, and how the self is defined in the eyes of the others; it actually has a grown-up real life take on an unhappy love story, and it can even be read as having pro-immigration connotations. This episode is telling the viewer that one is not entitled to nice things because they are a human from the human world, and there is no sin in wishing to take a chance to move somewhere you can see the sun. 

From the very first scene, Zhao Yunlan, who always has been shown as hands-on with the investigation, removes himself from Xiaobai’s flat, claiming that he has to speak to someone. It’s obvious who that someone is; and we see that our Chief is starting to rely on Shen Wei as his consultant way before he ever offers him that job. There is no reason for Yunlan to seek the other man’s help; and yet, he will end up solving with Shen Wei by his side, and purely through Shen Wei’s ample advice. 

Left with the worried, grieving fiancé of the missing Weiwei, Guo Chancheng suggests they take a stroll to calm down emotions, bringing himself, the man in question, and Chu Shizhu to his favourite place. He is, once again, being the sweetest, most lovely and considerate human being on this planet; and Chu Shizhu is starting to take his lead, listening, being a calming presence - even going as far as to softly offering Ji Xiaobai a beer. 

Hearing the sounds of a magpie, harbinger of good fortune, Guo Changcheng becomes animated, dragging Xiobai up to make a wish out loud. Xiaobai, predictably, wishes for his beloved to come back home, and Xiao Guo gladly repeats this wish, strengthens it with his will. This is where he is in his element: making people better, giving people hope, using his massive heart to help those around him. Guo Changcheng truly is too precious for words.

“Kid. You never make wishes for yourself?”

“I do. When everyone is happy, I am happy as well.”

We see Guo Changcheng’s simple, pure altruism resonating deep within Chu Shizhu, reminding him of his little brother that he lost. Well, I say “little” metaphorically, as the two are twins. That’s right, Guardian has two sets of twins, probably because it does not want to waste its extremely capable main cast. I’m not mad at it. 

Later that day, Shen Wei is conversing with a flower Yashou conveniently living on campus. I think she has a name, but I have a habit of calling her Bush Woman, because it’s what she is. 

She is animated poorly, but at least she is animated at all: there will be a scene later in the series, in which she is played by a bush, being shaken enthusiastically below the shot. The actual conversation is about a person Shen Wei is looking for: he has received a tip from Butler Wu in the previous episode that one of commanders in the Underworld army had a child. Hoping that that child could give him a clue at to where the next of the Hallows is stored, Shen Wei is now looking for them. Naturally, the child in question is also the missing woman in question, but Shen Wei does not know that yet. 

Their conversation is interrupted by Zhao Yunlan being sited on the bike heading towards the university. In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is shifting uncomfortably at Shen Wei’s office door. Presumably, he has knocked, heard no response, and is just about to give up and go home. This is the moment Shen Wei opens the door from inside, greeting him. Did he teleport into his office so he could talk to Yunlan? Yes, yes he did. 

Despite being more than capable of deducing stuff on his own, Chief Zhao brings in the pictures of the disappeared Weiwei to Shen Wei to analyse for clues. We know that Shen Wei is aware that there is no actual legitimate reason for Zhao Yunlan to seek out his help - because Shen Wei states as much, in the nicest way possible. Zhao Yunlan does not actually have a satisfying answer to that, and his response is mostly boiled down to shameless flirting. 

And also doing throughly shameless things to a lollipop while maintaining eye contact the whole time. Because why not give our protagonist in the show about brotherhood the most homoerotic character quirk he could possibly have, right? 

As Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei continue discussing the case, it becomes more and more clear that they work together marvellously, going as far as finishing each other’s sentences. The body language also suggests that they are very comfortable in each other’s company.

Yunlan, who a few episodes ago would rather sleuth himself than ask people for clues, listens to the advise Shen Wei gives him, internalises it, and eventually uses it to solve this case. Scratch that, actually - he accepts it when Shen Wei pretty much solves the case for him. 

Following Shen Wei’s words to the letter, Zhao Yunlan opens the portal into the magic dimension and discovers that there are, in fact, two Weiweis. The woman from the mirror - an Undergrounder, who left to live a normal life, and a human, who hid because she could not stand being unpopular, and now returned out of jealousy for her mirror counterpart’s perfect life. 

It’s very hard to not sympathise with the mirror!Weiwei over the human one. All the former wanted was to live, and to love, and to be happy. All the later wants is to have all that without putting in any effort. Human!Weiwei does not truly understand that it takes more than taking to have a relationship, and there is nothing that would allow her to be entitled to happiness that she did not herself create. 

Instead, she calls mirror!Wewei a monster, and the later snaps, creating a whirlwind of energy which threatens to destroy everyone in the mirror with her. 

Unfortunately for her, one of the people she is threatening to kill is Zhao Yunlan, and we know how Hei Pao Shi feels about Zhao Yunlan’s life being threatened. This man, who does have a soft, squishy heart, and has previously allowed murderous Wang Yike to stay with her lover, all but snarls at mirror!Weiwei as he captures her. 

The show treats hers and Xiaobai’s farewell as a true tragedy; it’s genuinely heartbreaking to see them cry, as we are shown flashback of their relationship.

In the past couple of episodes, we have witnessed a huge shift in Shen Wei. He may have been determined to detach himself and march onwards alone a short while ago, but he has also seen the SID being full of kind, righteous individuals; he has been begged to save an Undergrounder’s life; he has been asked for friendly support and advice by Zhao Yunlan, and so he, perhaps unwittingly, allows his Hei Pao Shi persona to soften. As he takes mirror!Weiwei away, he stops to have a little tiny heart to heart with Yunlan, saying that identity of a person lies in their heart rather than what or who they are physically. This is a very Shen Wei thing to say, actually, but it will be a while before Yunlan figures that one thing out. Two things on this scene:

One. The mask really does hide Zhu Yilong’s most prominent features pretty well, and to help the viewer understand how he could have been hiding his identity successfully for what could be months, the camera more often than not shoots Hei Pao Shi from a lower angle, and Shen Wei from the higher angle, or dead on, subtly reshaping the jaw line. It’s clever; as is often often the case with the camera work in this show. 

Two. Isn’t it a little bit amusing how this ancient godlike being needs to fill in the paperwork in line of his duty?

As with Shen Wei’s advice earlier on, Zhao Yunlan takes Hei Pao Shi’s one to heart as well, and makes his way to human!Weiwei to make sure Xiaobai knows that she is not at all the woman he fell in love with and wanted to marry. He unearths her greed, jealousy and entitlement in full; in the end, this relationship cannot survive, because how could Xiaobai possibly stay with someone who does not know - someone who even is, in some ways, responsible, for his lover being taken away from him forever? As the couple breaks up, Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s love song is playing in the background. 

During this scene, the infamous “I would like to buy [this coat] for my girlfriend” moment happens. 

As we know, he does not have a girlfriend. He may, however, have a boyfriend.

I really like the idea that he buys Shen Wei’s trench coats based on this. I really do. It is nice to see Shen Wei’s style starting to change dramatically as he and Zhao Yunlan become closer, of course, and I want it to be one of those deliberate coded messages Guardian is absolutely astonishing for. But at the same time, this is the jacket Yunlan is remarking on:

It sadly does not look anything like what Shen Wei wears. I will file this under “it’s true because the fandom said so”. 

Later, Hei Pao Shi is having a conversation mirror!Weiwei, revealing that he knew her father, and getting a clue he was after. We are getting a lovely extreme close-up of his eyes. While the mask does not stand to scrutiny of close examination - seriously, they could have maybe put actual leafing on it! - I really love this shot. 

At home, Zhao Yunlan is talking to Da Qing about his favourite subject, which is Professor Shen, and performing more shameless things to his lollipop while doing so. Brotherhood, my friends. This show it about bro-ther-hood. 

Da Qing wonders if his friend has been bewitched by Shen Wei, because it is obvious that Zhao Yunlan does not shut up about the man ever. When asked whether Yunlan would arrest the professor if he were indeed from the Underground, Yunlan responds with a dismissive, almost affronted “He didn’t do anything wrong”. We are to understand, through Da Qing’s reaction, that this is extremely uncharacteristic of Zhao Yunlan to say something like this, and it is entirely reasonable for Da Qing to be concerned. We could extrapolate that Da Qing’s worried because if Shen Wei is dangerous, getting attached to him in such a blatant manner could put Zhao Yunlan’s career and life at a very great risk. So, Da Qing, who knows his friend very well, chooses to press all the correct buttons to kick-start his natural curiosity, and do some investigative work into Shen Wei. 

Step one: break into his flat. As you do.

When we saw Shen Wei view the flat prior to moving in, it was shown already furnished, which is not entirely consistent with this tasteful, yet eclectic, furniture. I don’t know about you, but most flats I have rented have been furnished at IKEA. I can’t help but particularly admire his G Plan style mid-century side-board. And the fact that the man owns a gramophone, because of course he does. 

Shen Wei’s book collection is wonderfully perplexing. I’m not surprised that he reads in English - he is educated, and Dragon City is explicitly shown as bilingual, seeing as signs and even gravestones are written in English. But choices were made with the selection of titles. Going off the English ones alone Shen Wei owns: three copies of the same book about architecture, a heavy looking tome on interior design, a tattered one on Van Gough, and the only non-fiction English titles in his possession are… Irvin Welsh’s Trainspotting and a novelisation of Rocky? The former is notoriously difficult read as it’s written entirely in the Scottish accent. The later is very difficult to find, as is often the case with unnecessary novelisations. Neither scream “Shen Wei” to me. 

Apart from Shen Wei’s obviously fake book collection, we find out that he has some files on the SID. It should be a weird point of contention for Zhao Yunlan, considering that a) he also read Shen Wei’s files; b) he literally broke into the man’s apartment. 

While Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are still nosing around the flat, Shen Wei makes his way home, stilling at his door when he either sees that the lights are on (they won’t when he left), or notes with his Hei Pao Shi sense that someone is inside. 

We, in turn, discover that he has sword replicas on his wall. The swords are obviously European, two of them are shorter, arming ones, and the one in the middle is a longsword with a hand and a half grip. All three have round pommels, downturned cross-guards, and the general shape most reminiscent of very Late Middle Ages (I would hazard at a guess and place them around second half of the 15th century). I wish we could have seen Shen Wei fighting with one of those at some point, because they would be wielded in ways very different from his own blade, but alas. The shield, by the way, has no business being hung together with those swords: it’s not only from a wrong era, it’s from a different part of the world entirely; my guess is that it’s a replica of a shield from the Tang dynasty. 

Shen Wei senses Zhao Yunlan hiding on the balcony, and bites back a smile. Anyone else would be less happy to find out that their privacy being violated, but he is endeared at is the same way Yunlan was endeared at Shen Wei’s cunning during the prior episode.

After getting back to Zhao Yunlan’s own flat (possibly by waiting for Shen Wei to pretend to fall sleep), Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan move on to step two: contacting the Underground Regent about Shen Wei. Which is not as important a tidbit as finding out that Zhao Yunlan owns a swing. 

Then, they move in to step three: the banner.

According to this article, it’s 锦旗, a traditional gift of gratitude. It’s addressed to “Dragon City University, Professor Shen Wei”, but is singed by “Zhao Yunlan”, without mentioning of SID or his position therein, implying that the gift is personal. The message reads “Helping people [is] helping oneself” and “conscience of the industry”. It’s extremely over the top, which both Shen Wei and Chu Shuzhi, tasked with delivering the banner, are aware of.

Shen Wei looks between tentatively amused and politely mortified.

Chu Shuzhi looks like holding this banner is the most excruciating torture he ever had to endure. 

The banner, of course, has a hidden camera in it, so that Zhao Yunlan has a 24/7 feed from Shen Wei’s office. As he and Da Qing are watching the gift being hung, Da Qing is teasing Yunlan with Hei Pao Shi, who is surely the wrong man to tease him about.  

In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is at Shen Wei’s workplace again, and we discover from Shen Wei’s unpleasant boss that Li Qian has dropped out after her ordeal with the Longevity Dial. 

From the way this is written and shot, I would surmise that Zhao Yunlan does not spring on the professor in a middle of an uncomfortable conversation, but rather has spent some time with him prior to it, volunteering to be moral support. He continues being a good friend by asking Shen Wei why he feels like he has to shoulder all of the world’s weight: it’s surprisingly insightful into a large part of Shen Wei’s personality. 

There is little narrative reason for them to have this meeting, so I am choosing to believe that dropping in on Shen Wei randomly during lunch time is a habit Zhao Yunlan has started to form.

Finally, before the episode ends, we are privy to Shen Wei being the most polite, level-headed mugging victim. He hands the muggers his watch and money willingly, waiting for Zhao Yunlan, who is obviously stalking him, to show up and save the day. The muggers, enraged by his cool attitude, decide to shake him up, and, in the last seconds of this episode, the Pendant of Pining appears in shot for the first time. 

Next up, episode 7: No, Shen Wei, It Wasn’t The Bears

------

Just a quick note to say that I’ll keep those recaps going, but I will have to slow down the pace at which I’m churning them out to one every three to four days. There are some real life things I’ve been neglecting last few weeks that I need to spend my time on; and I’ve also started a new show (Sound of Providence, not Word of Honour - my watching priorities currently lie with Zhu Yilong being awesome). So, if I’m quiet here for a few days, I’m not gone, just a bit busy.

ETA. Realised that I made a booboo when translating the banner. Fixed that now. 

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

Overwhelmed. John B x Sarah

Request: Hi! How about a college related drabble? Sarah is super overwhelmed with exams coming up and calls John B starting to panic. He comes to see her and plans a whole night to distract her and comfort her 🥰

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: I know that I didn’t QUITE follow the whole request on this, but it was getting a bit long, so I hope that makes up for it! I wrote this after I wrote the 500 words of pure angst for these two, so I apologize if it’s a little too angsty. Also, I’m still trying to get comfortable writing the comedic/banter parts of a lot of the pogues relationships. (I’m just not naturally witty so I really have to try!) Anyways, I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!

Heroes and Villains of the Middle Ages was not a class that Sarah Cameron would have ever taken for fun. But when it satisfied one of her General Education requirements, it's not like she really had much of a choice in the matter. The fact that the professor was about as fascinating as the girls from high school that messaged her saying she'd be a "perfect fit" for joining their pyramid marketing business didn't help. So having to write an essay on 4 chapters of her "textbook" (each chapter ranging anywhere between 30-50+ pages long) was grating her brain, as she legitimately has zero desire to complete it.

An hour into her attempt to read the assigned chapters had her overwhelmed. She couldn't even pretend to find the content interesting, she had no clue how she was going to write a 1,000 word essay on it, and to put the icing on the cake: this was one of four that needed to be completed in the next two weeks as part of her final exam. Exasperated at the thought, she throws the book half way across the room as she finished the second chapter. Making it halfway through warrants a break, right?

She scrolls through instagram to allow her brain to run on auto-pilot for awhile. She scrolls past a photo JJ posted 43 minutes ago, of him, John B, and Kie hanging out at the Chateau. JJ snapped the photo, Kie leaning into him, laughing, while John B is in the background making a "you-caught-me-doing-something-I-shouldn't-have" face, no doubt saying something resulting in the laughs from the other two.

The picture makes her smile. Not just because it's of her friends, but also because between John B and JJ, they'll do just about anything to make their friends laugh. It causes her heart to flutter, and she decides to call him to further distract herself.

It doesn't take long for him to pick up, but it's not John B who answers the phone, it's JJ. "Hey Princess! How's college treatin' ya?!"

"Busy, boring, and yet still somehow not captivating enough to keep me from missing you."

"Oh, so you do miss me."

She rolled her eyes, "of course I do JJ."

"Not as much as you miss JB though, I'm sure." There's a pause, but before she can respond he's rushing out the words: "Oh, speaking of! Okay, Here's John B, I'll talk to you later, love you bye!"

She can tell John B is pulling the phone away from him by the decrescendo of his voice as he gets farther from the microphone. However, the sound of her boyfriends voice filling the speaker at her ear makes her smile even more.

"Hey Val." He greets, and she can tell he's smiling.

"Vlad. I must say it is nice to know that JJ misses me. Even though he won't admit it in as many words."

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we all do."

"Is Kie still there?"

"Nah, she has to work tomorrow so she went home about 20 minutes ago. How did you know she was over?"

"I saw the picture JJ posted on instagram."

"Ahhh, yeah, that would explain it." She heard him walking around, saying goodnight to JJ before closing what she assumed was the door to his bedroom.

"Did y'all have fun?"

"We did- JJ what the hell, I just told you goodnight." He must have opened the door to John B's room.

Sarah could hear JJ say, "yeah but I didn't say goodnight to Princess! Night Princess!" He calls louder, making sure she can hear him.

"Goodnight JJ!" She calls back, knowing she was more than likely on speaker phone.

"Night Birdshit!" is the last thing she hears before she hears the door slam.

John B is back on the phone in an instant. "I swear, I might actually kill him tonight."

She laughs at their antics, and a bittersweet feeling settles in her chest as she realizes just how much she misses her friends.

"So," John B starts again, "How's your homework coming?"

Sarah scoffs. "Don't remind me."

"That bad?"

"It's just this class is so boring!" He's heard her rant about it a million times, but he lets her do it again. "I mean, it's a 400 level class. And I understand those are the more difficult ones, but--fuck--this is hard, and it's not even interesting in the slightest!"

"Which makes it only about a million times worse."

"It does!" She agrees, thankful that he's empathetic to her suffering. "And I have my Chemistry final next week, and my English 102 research paper due the week after. Nevermind the final project for my Geology, and Quantitative Reasoning class that I've only just started on--" She's ranting, and she knows it.

"Woah. Easy there, Val." He chuckles despite her. "You'll work yourself up."

"I am worked up!" The more she talks, the more overwhelmed she gets, and soon she realizes she's pacing her small room. "I just want to come home." The confession almost stuns her as she's catapoulted into a sea of homesickness, and even the knowledge that she'll be home for the summer in two weeks time doesn't even begin to calm the waves.

"You'll be home in a couple weeks, babe. Just 2 more, and then you're mine for the summer."

She knows he's trying to change her perspective, but she's not in the mood tonight. She's sad, and wants the space to allow herself to be sad. A half-hearted "yeah" is all she manages.

"Hey," John B doesn't miss the dejected tone of her voice, realizing how upset she truly is. "It's gonna be alright, Val. 2 more weeks is a piece of cake after the past seven months."

They'd seen each other since she started college, of course, but even then, the last time they were together was when she came home for Wheezie's lacrosse game 5 weeks ago. And after spending almost every day of last summer together, the distance began to do it's damage. Not on their relationship, no, their relationship was still so, so good. It was just on nights like tonight, when she was so overwhelmed that no matter what she thought of, it only made the drowning feeling three times worse.

She feels her throat tighten and before it even registers that she's getting emotional, she feels the gentle pricks behind her eyes indicating it won't be long and she'll be crying. "It's just really hard right now." She confesses, annoyed with how her voice is full of emotion, which is going to cause John B to go into his protective, "I'll-be-your-hero-and-fix-everything" mode.

And sure as shit, his tone becomes softer, and he's building her up. "I know it is, Sarah, but you're doing so well. I know this has been an adjustment for you, and for us, and it hasn't been easy, but you've been doing so well. You're killing it at college, and you only have these last two weeks, these last exams and projects and then you're home for the summer."

She nods, knowing that he's speaking truth, but still feeling discouraged. "It's just, everything's happening at once right now, and I'm just so overwhelmed, and there's just so much pressure riding on these last projects, and--I just want you."

"What do you mean?" She can tell he's laughing at her rambling confession.

"I mean I just want you. I miss you, John B." Great, that broke the dam, and now she's really crying. "I miss hugging you, and kissing you, and just being next to you. Because at least when I was home and busy, we were still together. Now I have to do all of this by myself, and I just feel so alone, and I just want to come home." She didn't intend to share all of these subconscious thoughts and feelings when she called him on the phone. She had initially just called for a distraction, and to see how JJ and Kie were doing. But sometimes the breakdowns come when you least expect them.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" The question is not how she expected him to respond.

She sniffs, thinking through what her Saturday plans were. "I'm- going to finish this essay, probably work on my projects, and study?" She phrases it like a question, even though she's answering his. After hearing silence for a little too long, she adds, "Why?"

"I'm on my way."

"What?" If she wasn't expecting him to ask what she was doing tomorrow, she REALLY doesn't expect him to say he's coming to see her at 10pm on a Friday.

"What do you mean you're on your way."

"I'm coming to see you." He answers as if it's the simplest thing in the world. She can hear his smile as he talks, probably patting himself on the back for being the hopeless romantic, her knight in shining armor, coming to distract her from her scholarly obligations.

"John B, you don't have to do that." Of course, she wants him to. But it's a ways to drive, and she knows his van isn't cheap to fill with gas.

"Shut up Val." He laughs. "I'm going to spend the weekend with you. But on one condition." He thinks, and then doubles back. "Okay, two conditions."

She rolls her eyes, always thinking there's no way she can be more in love with this man, and then he does stuff like this to prove her wrong. "And what are your conditions?"

"One. You have to write your essay. And I'm going to help you study. You don't just get a 'get out of jail free' card just because your man is coming to see you." He gets her to laugh with that one.

"My man?"

"Yes. That is what I am, isn't it? Your man?"

"Sure. And what's the second condition?"

"You have to buy me my own bag of Skinny Pop." Her eyes automatically roll for probably the 15th time tonight. "Okay, agreed. I will go to the store, and buy you your own bag of Skinny Pop."

"And you can't have any of it." He ammends.

"Alright, fine. And I won't have any of it." She grudgingly agrees.

"Deal."

"Deal."

"That settles it then! I'm on my way!"

"Drive safe, loser."

"I love you, Sarah."

She smiles to herself. "I love you too, John B."

"I'm serious though, don't eat my Skinny Pop before I get there."

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Possibly a big ask to get just out of the blue but: what are your Supernatural season opinions? Which one is your favorite? Least favorite? Did you watch long enough to have showrunner opinions? If yes, which showrunner is your favorite and which is your least favorite? If no, which season that you haven't seen most tempts you to get back in the Supernatural trenches? Answer exactly as many of these questions as you want to. Carry on.

You know, I am not sure how long this Ask has been sitting here, because my Tumblr notifications are borked -- I hope not long? If long, I apologize, I wasn't ignoring it on purpose!

Okay, so I have more than the average number of Supernatural opinions, probably, but I'll try to keep this to a dull roar! Inside Me There Are Two Wolves: one of them believes that only the original five seasons of Supernatural are worth defending in any way, the other really, really loves seasons 11 and 12. The Kripke Era had a lot of problems, particularly in its treatment of women as bodies without agency and its treatment of Black men as literal predators, but also for all its flaws, it had a kind of coherence and narrative drive that comes from being the product of a dude who obviously cared about it and had something to say. Taken on its own, seasons 1-5 are a brutal and compelling story about the traumas of being men in a universe that's been absolutely destroyed by its Fathers: on almost every level, it's about these abandoned and brutalized boys discovering that their entire reality is the product of an abandoning and brutalizing God, populated by authority figures who are universally demanding and arrogant, but also completely fucking useless. It's quite literally about Sam and Dean trying to hang onto their souls and their own agency when everyone around them wants them forced into shapes formed by conflicts that fell into place at the beginning of time. It's hard to remember, but back then even the Lucifer plotline was about that! It was about the damage fathers inflict on sons! Things were about things, in the Kripke era!

Then we get to the Gamble era, and. Woof. I actually -- don't hate 6 and 7? Like everything Sera Gamble touches, those two seasons are kinetic and memorable and funny and weird and hit some really, really great emotional beats. There are Some Problems, but Gamble was saddled with a pretty dire job, trying to find a way forward after everything about the series really had effectively wrapped up in Swan Song, and I think she did an okay job. People got mad at her for killing Castiel, but you know, damn, I give her this: that was a storyline. Like, this character who was fresh out of the cult he was raised in becoming disillusioned by how messy normal life is and deciding that maybe people need better authoritarianism instead -- the way he's driven to take too many risks by the fact that he's abandoned and desperate -- Crowley as a legitimately scary villain while still being charming af -- and the tragic resolution of Castiel being torn apart by both his hubris and his heroism. It's actually really good. I understand why people didn't want what Gamble was serving up -- and I'm able to like it because it was undone later, you know? -- but she really did commit to a full season of character arc and saw it all the way through to an earned ending, and I gotta respect that.

I genuinely hate seasons 8 and 9. I think everyone is a dick, particularly but not exclusively Dean, to the point where I just find it a bummer to watch. I mean, you get Benny, and I love Benny. You get, I dunno, bits and bobs of decent episodes, but overall they are very fucked up seasons in my opinion. So Carver era is on thin fucking ice with me, but I do think you start to get a rebound in season 10 with the Mark of Cain stuff, although I wish they'd managed to keep Cain around longer. All the really good Claire stuff starts happening, which is nice because Claire, but also because for once the show is really letting itself go back and deal with the mess these protagonists leave behind them constantly. Castiel and Claire have maybe the most interesting non-Winchester relationship on the show. Oh, and Rowena shows up around here too, right? Love her. So the back half of Carver, 10 and 11, are starting to really gain traction for me. The world is building outward, secondary characters are starting to be genuine characters in their own right, the politics of Heaven and Hell get a little richer and more interesting. The show is really starting to feel like it takes place in a universe, which is great because we love the Frigging Winchesters, but they shouldn't be the only thing going, right? We have 15 seasons to get through! Season 11 is basically bracketed by what are probably my two favorite Supernatural episodes: Baby and Don't Call Me Shurley. (I think I'm the world's only living Metatron fan; I fucking love that little dude.)

Dabb takes over in 12, and I really, really, genuinely love season 12. I fucking love Mary. There are so many episodes I adore -- Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox is a special favorite of mine, and I remain pissed off that the Banes twins never made it to recurring status, bluntly that feels wildly racist to me -- probably the best three-episode streak in the show is Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets to Regarding Dean to Stuck In the Middle (With You), three just almost perfect episodes. So I was poised to really love the Dabb era. I wanted to! My body was ready!

And I do really love the first chunk of season 13, the Widow Winchester arc. Obviously I'm a romantic, love that for me, but it's just also really good? The acting, the writing, the psychological complexity of Dean wanting Jack to be Bad so he has an outlet for his anger and Sam wanting Jack to be Good so he can retroactively parent himself and raise a Lucifer-tainted child who isn't crippled by self-loathing. Billie's great, and it looks like she's going to start being one of the major powers of the universe. Unfortunately -- with the occasional exception of this or that solid episode -- that's kind of the end of Pretty Good Supernatural. Season 13 kind of unravels; season 14 always feels like it's looking for itself (which is a bummer, because I wanted very much to care about Michael); season 15 is, idk. Idk about any of it, it's all pretty pointless. I feel bad complaining on some level, because the show's been on for like fourteen years at this point! It's kinda justified in feeling a little worn out. But the reality is that the later seasons systematically undo all the expansion that had excited me earlier -- the Wayward Sisters crew pretty much vanishes when the spinoff isn't picked up, Naomi and the angels stop doing anything, Crowley's gone, Mary's gone for much of it. We're just kind of futzing around with monsters who don't seem to matter (very much including Lucifer, who hasn't mattered in ages) and a lot of Jack, who. I try not to shit all over, because I know he's a popular character, but I find him just ungodly boring. Everything in the last two and a half season just feels like it's headed nowhere in particular, and also it bored me. The Empty deal is just sadness porn; it doesn't have any resonance or meaning in terms of Castiel's character, it's just him agreeing to die for his kid, which is okay, it means he's a loving dad, which he is, but there's no conflict there, ergo no real drama. It's just mean; it happens because it'll make us sad, and no other reason. Rowena is the only strong secondary character left, and her ending also doesn't feel particularly relevant to her, it's just a generic Sacrifice to Save the World. Everything just feels like they're autogenerating plotlines, rather than letting the actual needs and drives of the characters shape the narrative. So while I have this weird split personality with Carver where I either hate what he's doing or I love it, most of the Dabb era is just. There. It doesn't make me feel anything except kind of tired and embarrassed. Which is a bummer, because I have an inexplicable fondness for Dabb, probably just because of how much I love s12. I wanted to love his seasons! I did love his first season! I feel like maybe something happened when the CW rejected Wayward Sisters? I know that was kind of his darling, and it feels like maybe losing that kind of sucked the joy out of him, and he's kind of checked-out by the end. That's genuinely just my guess, however.

That's Professor Milo's Intro to Supernatural Studies, don't forget to fill out your course survey on the way out!

[flowesona]

Strength - Yandere! Yoongi x reader

The Tarot Series

“You won’t be able to play to the best of your ability if you’re slouching.” A warm hand pushed (Y/N)’s back into a straighter position and lingered for a second before being withdrawn.

“Try again for me. And try to play a bit faster this time. It’s meant to be 120 bpm and you’re only at 100 right now.” She nodded, eyes set on the sheet in front of her as her fingers once again began to dance with the keys, trying her best to appeal to Yoongi’s high standards.

(Y/N) could only hear the notes she was playing. Not an inch of her attention was given to her teacher standing behind her, a warm smile overcoming his face as she played.

Upon her hands falling on the final chord, she jumped at the feeling of his hands on her arms. With her being still, he moved his hands down towards her fingers, intertwining them with his own.

“That’s the best I’ve ever heard you perform this piece.” He whispered into her ear, placing a soft kiss on the shell. “I’m so lucky to be the one who gets to hear this.”

“Am I ready for the exam yet?” He frowned, his hot breaths sending shivers down (Y/N)’s spine amidst the silence as she waited for a response.

“No. You’ve still got so much to learn from me. We won’t stop until you’re perfect.” The kisses that were pressed against (Y/N)’s neck, trailing down further until he started to fiddle with her clothes, were little to consolidate the dissatisfaction that haunted her mind.

 *.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*

Days were like walking through a sandstorm until her relief came in the form of her piano lessons. Yoongi was her relief amidst the stress of modern life, the person who saved her from going insane. It was his kisses and his touch that could wipe her mind of confusing symbols. But his effect was both a blessing and a curse.

“You simply aren’t meeting our standards, (Y/N). Unless your test results improve, we’ll suggest that you leave this school for a more appropriate one.” The young woman’s eyes were lowered to meet her lap as she tried not to cry.

“You’re a talented musician, (Y/N). But we need you to be well balanced in theory. I hope you understand.”

“I… I understand sir. Thank you for this opportunity.” She said, bowing politely before leaving, her stomach heavy with emotion.

Meanwhile, Yoongi was tapping his foot impatiently in the small practice room. She was already twenty minutes late, and she hadn’t even bothered to text. It was then he decided to go and look for her; perhaps she’d been caught up in some funny business, and she needed his help?

Yoongi couldn’t help but to walk as fast as humanly possible, pushing past his students without a second glance to reach the classroom (Y/N) should have been in. There was no sign of her.

It was as if the walls were closing in. Desperately his eyes scanned every part of the corridors that he hurried through, needing (Y/N) more than ever in that moment.

Thankfully, he found her outside the executive offices. However, he found her in a terrible state, crying endlessly.

“(Y/N)! Baby!” He rushed to hold her, but she pushed him away.

“Not here.” She mumbled, and he nodded understandingly. It was only after they had found an abandoned storage cupboard that she finally collapsed into him, sobbing.

“We have to end this, Yoongi.” (Y/N)’s whimpers alarmed the pianist, his breathing quickening.

“What do you mean? Why?” He asked, rubbing her back gently.

“I’m failing my theory class. I have to stop… this. Our lessons, our affair, everything. I’ll be kicked out otherwise.” The words tugged at Yoongi’s heartstrings more than anything.

“But we need to keep going! How else will you become-”

“No, Yoongi.” (Y/N) sniffed, looking up at him. “I don't need you.”

“But I need you. I need us, (Y/N). Please.” His whines were nothing to deter (Y/N). She was set on being the best musician she could be, and she wouldn’t lose her means for that because of her stupid attractive piano teacher.

“I’ll see you around, Yoongi.”

*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*

With (Y/N) no longer needing him, Yoongi felt as if his life had no meaning any longer. He couldn’t live in such a dull way, only tutoring lackluster students who didn’t have a glimmer of the talent & beauty that (Y/N) exuded.

Soon, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Just brushing shoulders with her in the corridor was not enough skinship for Yoongi. He needed her back, to return to what they had.

This led him to purchase a voice scrambler and a cheap phone to make his move. If (Y/N) couldn’t see him due to failing grades, he wouldn’t let her fail. 

He dialed the number of her theory professor, resisting the shake of his leg as he waited for him to pick up.

“Hello?” The older man answered with some caution to his tone.

“Good evening. There’s something I need you to do for me.” Yoongi spoke into the voice scrambler, hoping that it would hide the shake of his voice.

“Who is this?”

“That’s none of your business, Professor. As long as you do as I say, we will have no further business.” 

“Why should I do as you say? Who are you?”

“Your boyfriend. Park Jimin. He works night shifts, correct? When he’s all alone in the middle of the night, terrible things could happen to him. Don’t get on my bad side, Mr Kim.” By the way the line had fallen silent, Yoongi knew he’d hit the professor’s weak point.

“I want all your students to be given a passing grade. No exceptions.” 

“B-but if I’m found to be faking grades, I c-could be fired!” The man on the other side of the line whined.

“Would you rather that, or have your boyfriend’s severed head on your doorstep?” Yoongi hissed.

“I-I understand. O-okay, I’ll do it.” 

“I’ll check regularly. Don’t go back on your words, or your precious Jimin is as good as dead.”

“Wait, how will you-”

Yoongi ended the call before smashing the phone on the table, to leave no evidence of his doings in case anyone started snooping. After doing so, he gave himself the chance to breathe. The hard part was over, he just had to collect his prize.

 *.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*

As (Y/N) made her way to her lunch break, she was practically glowing. Finally, the stress of her exams was off her shoulders, and she could enjoy her degree rather than live in fear of failing. 

Whilst mulling over what she was going to eat, she felt herself colliding with someone. Her accidental assailant caught onto her arms as she stumbled back, keeping her stable. It was only then she recognised him.

“Yoongi?” He gave her a shy smile as he steadied her.

“(Y/N).” For a moment they were silent, just staring at each other.

“I’ve missed you, Baby.” (Y/N)’s face dropped. 

“I told you, we can’t do this.” She shook her head, closed her eyes as if to not get drawn back in. “I can’t go back to failing my classes, I can’t have… this… when I need to focus on my career.”

Yoongi paused, trying to contain his bubbling emotion as he spoke.

“(Y/N), I can help you. If you think you don’t need me and you’re better than me, you’re wrong. I helped you get these grades!”

A beat. 

“Did you mess with the grades so I would go back to our lessons? Yoongi, you could be fired!” She looked aghast. “I want my grades to be legitimate. I don’t care if I fail, I’m going to report you for this.”

Yoongi glowered at her raised voice, glancing around before pulling her into the practice room next to them.

“(Y/N), please understand. Everything I do is for our future, you see?” He said firmly.

“What future? Yoongi, you’re not my partner! You’re hot and great and all that, but this was never going to last.” 

“(Y/N), don’t play with my heart.” Yoongi pleaded. “Don’t make me the bad guy!”

“Just don’t talk to me anymore! I won’t tell anyone about it, just let me move on.” (Y/N) sighed.

“I can’t let you do that.”

(Y/N)’s body was pressed onto the table, as Yoongi used both his hands to hold her neck in place.

“I was worried you wouldn’t be as grateful as I hoped, so I had a backup plan.” (Y/N) tried to retaliate with all the energy she had left, but she was nothing beneath the maniac.

“I’m sorry I have to do this baby, but I can’t stay away any longer. No one can prevent us from being together now, not even you.”