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s-creations · 7 months ago

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Fluctuates Chapter 5- One is Sick

One-Shot entries for the #RadioStatic Week 2024.

Yep, I'm doing this again! I'm going to make sure that I can keep track with uploading this time. Also, I will be sticking with the Fluff path, because I need more Fluff with these two.

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationships: Alastor/Vox (RadioStatic) Warnings/Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lots of Fluff because I want it, Rosie will be in this, Probably other characters not sure at the moment, Husk has arrived as well!, nudity mentioned

Alastor was known for one thing, control. He always had to be in control. No matter the situation. Alive or dead, if he was involved, Alastor needed to lead. And while Hell offered so many avenues that allowed him that sense of control, it also gave one disadvantage that he’d not counted on.

That being his body now had an annual sickness called a ‘rut’. A time where he wasn’t aware of his own consciousness. When his existence was pain and heat and pressure. With a desperate need for the comfort of someone, but with the want to keep some semblance of himself while being lost in his unwanted animalistic instincts.

It. Was. Torturous.

As the years passed when he’d first arrived, it was counting down and planning for when he had to hide himself away. Making sure to leave rumors that he was still there, watching from the shadows, so no sinners could believe Alastor was trapped in a situation of weakness. Leaving him alone for days to deal with an illness that brought him to his knees.

A part of his afterlife he had to deal with in silence.

…Until.

“Alastor?”

Ears flickering hearing that familiar voice, Alastor practically peeled himself away from his sweat laden pillow. Eyes with blown pupils darting over to the bedroom door where Vox was cautiously peeking his head in.

The Media Overlord gave a small smile upon seeing Alastor and let out a whisper of, “Oh, we’re a bit further than I thought.”

Entering the room fully, Vox gave a quiet goodbye to whomever was on the other side before closing the door. Shedding his coat and kicking off his shoes, Vox slowly approached the bed, voice low and calming.

“Hey you, sorry about being late. I tried to get out of that meeting as quickly as possible. Guess it wasn’t fast enough.” Nearing the bed, Vox raised a hand for Alastor to take.

Only to pull it back quickly when the other let out a low growl, antlers growing.

“Hush you, it’s just Husk’s scent. You know Husk. He just brought me up, that’s all. It’s just the two of us, I promise.”

Alastor pouted slightly at that, but made no further noise of complaint. Cautiously eyeing the same hand as it reached out and relaxing when it began to scratch behind his ear.

“Not much for talking either, huh? How do you feel about getting out of that suit and getting a little more comfortable?”

“No.” Was Alastor’s snap reply, voice low and gravely.

Vox merely shrugged. “Alright, guess we’re starting this off with being uncomfortable but stylish. How typical of you.”

Being careful not to displace anything in the bundle of blankets that had formed a small ‘nest’ on the bed, Vox shifted until he was laying next to Alastor. Who was still watching Vox with cautious curiosity. Seeming uncaring that he was being monitored closely, Vox let out a sigh as he got comfortable and patted his chest.

“Come on. I didn’t frantically rush over here just for you to keep your distance. Let’s starve off that uncomfortable feeling for as long as we can”

The unseen tail gave a little wag as Alastor rolled over. Moving slowly so he could respond accordingly if there was a trick involved with this. Vox remained as still as he could, watching as Alastor shifted to lay his head on the other’s chest.

The moment he recognized Vox’s scent, Alastor relaxed. Ears lowering in relief as he practically buried himself into Vox. Claws coming close to tearing into the dress shirt.

“There we go.” Vox mumbled softly, arms reaching up to wrap around Alastor as he sunk further into the bed. “Now we’re getting somewhere. A good, long nap will be the best start to this. Good way to build up that needed energy for future issues, right? Nice and relaxed…”

Alastor didn’t respond. Instead nuzzled closer and closed his eyes. Having no issues with the fingers that had returned to gently scratch behind his ear.

“Nice and relaxed… Before the shit show officially starts.”

__________________________

The small part of his rational mind that remained knew this was stupid. That he should just listen to what Vox was saying. But another part was saying that he could handle himself and he didn’t need help.

“Would you please just strip!” Vox desperately asked again. Bucket of cold (slowly becoming cool) water in one hand with a cloth in the other. Staring down a disgruntled Alastor, who had bundled himself up further in his nest. Glaring at Vox from the shadows.

“You’re being ridiculous. I know your temperature is going to skyrocket soon and if you’re uncomfortable now, it’s going to be ten times worse. I have something that can help. But you need to get undressed. Yeah? Think we can do that?”

Alastor’s response was to let out a warning growl.

“You fucking deer-” Vox let out a slow breath, “You know I’m just here to help you. Please, just let me help you. Do you want to sniff the water first? Would that help?”

Not waiting for a reply, he lifted up the bucket. Alastor flinched away slightly when it was within view. But did eventually poke his head out to sniff the air.

“See? Just water. Just something that will help with your heat. I promise. Now, how do we feel about removing some clothes?”

Alastor snapped his mouth and dove back under the blankets.

“Come on! You prude, I’ve seen you naked before!”

__________________________

Alastor let out a small whine as his light sleep was interrupted by a new cool cloth draped over his back. Wanting more to break this fire burning inside him. But not wanting to release the large pillow he was wrapped around.

“I know,” Vox whispered softly, “I know, this sucks. You’re doing great, I promise. Try and go back to sleep?”

A small huff was offered as a reply as Alastor’s eyes closed once more.

__________________________

Alastor let out a warning growl as Vox shifted again. Arms tightening around the other. Eyes narrowing as Vox turned over, as best he could, to offer his own glare back.

“You are entirely too warm,” Vox’s voice was quiet from exhaustion, “Also, I need to use the restroom.”

Another warning growl was the reply back.

“What, do you want to hold my hand while I urinate?” While the question was clearly posed as a joke, Vox’s smile dropped when Alastor crawled out of the bed. Standing expectedly by the edge of it while looking back at the Media Overlord.

“...I was fucking joking- Hey!” There was the sharp sound of feedback as Vox was effortlessly picked up from the bed. Held close while Alastor walked towards the bathroom. “You ass! Fucking- You’re not staying in the room!”

__________________________

There was a new scent in the air.

Alastor’s eyes snapped open as his senses screamed ‘danger’. New and unfamiliar was not making for a safe environment. Form growing, he practically staggered his way to the bedroom door. Eyes looking around for the intruder and Vox, because the Media Overlord was missing from the room.

Twisting his body in order to fit through the door, Alastor was still frantically scanning the area. A small blip of relief hit him when he found Vox standing at the suite’s entrance. A well tied package in hand as he stared Alastor down with panicked eyes. Alastor’s focus swiveled to the door. Or, mainly, who was on the other side of the door.

There was a flurry of motion.

Vox quickly pushed the other away from the door before slamming it closed. Pressing his body against it as Alastor quickly stalked forward, letting out an unholy screech as he clawed against the ground.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Vox held up a hand towards Alastor while still holding the package close. “Wait, it’s fine! You’re fine!”

Alastor stopped right in front of Vox, leaning down as he quickly scanned the other over. Looking for any injuries that the intruder could have delivered.

Vox placed the package down to free his hands, allowing him to gently place them on Alastor’s face to try and offer some comfort. “Hey, I’m okay, I promise. We just got a delivery. That’s all. You protective little gremlin.”

He laughed softly as Alasor nuzzled against him. “Yeah, okay, how about getting you to eat something.”

Remaining close to the other Overlord, Alastor watched as Vox unwrapped the delivered package. The latter wincing as a newly eviscerated corpse flopped down onto the floor. Barely getting out of the way before Alastor descended upon it. Vox taking a few steps back as to not get caught in the crossfire.

“Hopefully that will keep you satisfied for a while.” He mumbled weakly. Shrinking back to avoid a rather violently thrown chunk of meat.

__________________________

Alastor woke with the first semblance of normalcy since the week had started. Body a little sore, but felt back in control as he shifted slightly, trying to sit. Only to stop when an arm, which had been draped around his waist, tightened around him. Looking up to find Vox’s blank screen reflecting Alastor’s exhausted looking face back. They were both lying on the bed with Alastor on top of the other, head resting on Vox’s chest.

Smile softening, Alastor shifted up slowly so he could comfortably kiss Vox’s screen. Quietly laughing when the screen flickered on with the Media Overlord’s face barely seen. “Good morning dear.”

Vox let out a small hum as he stretched. “Mornin’... How’re you feelin’?”

“Better. Much, much better. You look a little exhausted.”

“Chasin’ after you does that…” Vox let out a slow cycle of air as he settled back down into the bed, arms wrapping around Alastor. Hand reaching up to scratch behind the Radio Demon’s ear. “‘M assumin’ your rut is over?”

“Would appear so. But I suppose one more day away from everyone and cuddled up to you would be best. Just to be sure.” While saying this, Alastor settled himself back down. Nuzzling under Vox’s ‘chin’ before laying his head on the other’s chest.

Vox gave no reply to this. Entire form relaxing as his hand eventually stilled, laying on the back of Alastor’s head.

The Radio Demon made a mental note to pamper Vox later. Afterall, it’s the least Alastor could do for the other, after caring for him for that week.

#s-creations #fanfiction #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #vox #voxal #alastor x vox #radiostatic #radiostatic week 2024 #nudity mentioned

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jordiestardust · 1 year ago

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Wet. Part one<3

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Cursing, unedited, lowkey kind of shitty, use of y/n, mentions of breakup, steve being stupid, implied fem reader ( no intended use of feminine pronouns but if i fucked up and did put some in lmk please😭🫶🏾 )

Summary: Dustins older sister comes to visit with her band from Los Angeles, but her and Steve have some major unresolved conflicts

-Hawkins Indiana-

Steve had never really had to face serious consequences to his actions, not really. Growing up the way he did, batting his eyelashes or casually mentioning who his father was always seemed to do the trick for him. But it was never like that with you, which is why for all of today he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest.

“Isnt it insane that y/n was able to get this gig? ‘S so awesome!” Dustin was wiggling excitedly in his seat next to Steve on the couch, a bowl of dry Fruit Loops on his lap. Besides him was Will, whilst the young couples sat at their feet.

“Christ, Henderson, try not to explode. ‘S not even live, since Harrington doesnt know how to not pick up extra shifts” Eddie stated from his spot on the recliner chair on the end of the large living space. Still, he sported a large tee-shirt with your band name and picture on it.

Robin had been in the kitchen, getting Gatorades and beers to keep everyone hydrated. Though, the beers were mostly to keep Steve from spontaneous bursting into flames. She was the only one who knew the full extent of how hard this was for him.

“Oh, can it, Edward. Your excited too, their name is on your tit” Dustin said, referring to his shirt and causing Eddie to chortle loudly.

“Shut up guys its starting soon.” Max said from her spot on the floor, taking the bottle of Gatorade Robin offered her. Robin handed Steve his beer as she sat next to him on the couch, before the children, and Eddie, bursted into complaints about the fact that there was an opening act.

Steve nearly sighed in relief. He wasnt really sure he was ready to fast the history you two had. Even if itd been years, and you probably hadnt given him a second thought since high school. Hed been running from watching you preform, but he guesses if he really never wanted to see you again, he wouldve cut off his friendship with Dustin all those years ago, when you and Margo made it big. Thats what Robin told him, and hed been repeating it as though his life had depended on it ever since.

His thoughts were cut off as the speaker on the television introduced your band. ‘Now or never, I guess’ He thought to himself, as you took the microphone.

———————-

-Los Angeles, California. Two weeks earlier-

“You know, Dustin and everyone back home is going to watch this, right?” Margo, your drummer and right hand woman, had been pestering you about this for about a month. Both worried about how youd feel if Steve saw, and if she messed up and Robin Buckley bore witness to her mistakes.

“Im aware, Margs,” You reached for the next highest tuning peg, “But if you couldnt tell, im kinda trying to tune my guitar here.” You smiled up at her, but she could tell you were nervous.

“If it helps, hes kind of a himbo..” She smirked, causing you to erupt with laughter, and you knew she was right. Even if he did realize the meaning behind the songs, what was he to do about it? Not like youd answer whatever texts or calls he might send. But I guess this part wasnt in mind when you bought tickets to visit his best friend, your little brother, for two weeks.

Soon enough, the stage manager made his way into the dressing rooms, informing you it was time to go.

“Show time~” Margo whispered in your ear, poking the bassist, Ajax, in the back with her drumsticks.

“Fucking quit it Margs-“

“No dont be a baby, lets go asshole.”

“Real mature guys, ill be out in a sec” You called out as they left the room. Before you followed behind them, you quickly grabbed your good luck charms. Sunglasses. A black pair of Ray-bans, to be exact. Its been years, and still you couldnt bring yourself to throw them out. They were the last piece of him you had left.

Besides your fifteen year old brother-

It was mere minutes before you were on the stage. The lights hadnt been turned on yet, but you could hear the crowd murmuring in anticipation. You slung your guitar over your shoulder, hands running up and down the neck nervously, though careful not the hit any strings and risk stray sound. It wasnt long before the announcers voice began booming throughout the stadium.

“NOW WELCOMING” you adjusted the guitar again, barely able to hold onto your pick out of sheer nervousness, “THE CRYSTAL GRACE”

Deep breaths, y/n

——————————

-Hawkins Indiana-

“EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP ITS STARTING-“ Dustin screeched from his spot on the couch, waking Steve up from his trance. Hed zoned out halfway through the opening act complaints.

Steves eyes widened at the sight of you. He’d obviously seen pictures of you before. Online, on posters and magazines, splayed across Eddies chest, but somehow this was different. There was no photographer telling you how to pose, or paparazzis in your personal space, it was just you and the band. You were in your element.

He watched intently as you grabbed the microphone in front of you.

“Hi,” you chuckled lightly, full of charm and warmth, “Really quick before we get started, on behalf of myself and the band, id like to say thank you. Thank you for listening, enjoying what we do, and for being here tonight. Thank you to everyone at home watching as well, and to everyone who helped make this happen. Thank you to the man I wrote these songs about. In the great words of Kurt Cobain, “Thank you for the tragedy, I needed it for my art” The crowd went fucking wild, to say the least.

Though the thought of you having found someone else to write songs about left Steve with a weird ache in his chest, he was amazed. He never really understood your way with words, the way you knew how to turn words into art. How you always knew what to say, and were never, ever afraid to say it.

“This first one is called Wet.” The room went silent, and the crowd went as quiet as possible in all of the excitement.

———————————-

-Los Angeles-

“All alone in my bedroom, with the lights turned down and the music gone, I know its over still I cling on..” To you, preforming had always felt drastically different than rehearsals. Ever since middle school, when you, Margo, and Robin had gone out for the school plays. Rehearsals were repetitive. You said the same thing over and over until it was perfect. Performing felt more raw.

To you, it was vulnerability. Your innermost thoughts put out to be perceived, mistakes and failures included. Put out into the world for teenage girls to scream their hearts out into. For your first love to hear. For your only love to hear. And you loved it.

“Cause im my own right hand girl, and I dont need anyone but, sometimes i miss your stupid face and your taste and your smoking gun~” On the bear drop, you nodded, hard enough to make the glasses on your head drop down to your face. See, the way you perceived preforming was weird. You wanted him to know.

———————————

-Hawkins-

“Oh my god” Robin murmured under her breath, mesmerized by the performance. Partly because of Margo, partly because of your voice, but mostly because you were wearing Steve Harringtons sunglasses on stage while singing a song about him on television.

Worried about her best friend, Robin looked up at him to see Steve sitting there, brain completely and utterly fried. His eyes were wide, his eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth hung open slightly. He was analyzing the lyrics.

“Its nights like this that remind me of my deepest fantasy. Where im all alone and i feel the cold dark earth caressing me. ‘Cus im six feet under nearly, and i dont need anyone, but this wouldnt be the first or last time that both my tears and I have come!” He watched intently as you pulled your glasses- his glasses- down your face and winked for a brief moment.

“Its so depressing how the tearducts in my eyes, are so much wetter than the space between my thighs. Oh oh oh, I can help it thinking about it only makes me cry, it keeps me wett, you know you keep me wet, till i run dry-y-y”

“Shes awesome” Eddie stated, to no one in particular. Steve knew you were good. Everyone did. Your love for performing was no surprise to any of them.

It wasnt long before that song was over, and the next one began. This time, Margo was doing the announcement. The two of you had always been a sort of package deal in that way. ‘The Dave to my Kurt’ youd tell him. He never really knew what that meant, but he pushed you away before he could ask.

“Watching my show the day i come to visit, huh? Couldnt even spring for watching it yesterday? Yall are fake”

Oh shit-

————————

“NOT COOL HENDERSON JESUS CHRIST,” Eddie clutched his chest rather dramatically, “Youre going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

“Yeah whatever Munson. Nice shirt.” You smirked at him, before you were bombarded with a hug from Robin. You were practically lifting her off of the ground, she was hugging you so tight.

“Missed you tons Y/n. Tons. Also, by any chance did you happen to, i don’t know this is kind of a shot in the dark, but did you bri-“

“Yes, I brought Margs, Rob, keep it in your pants” Her cheeks went pink, but she played it off like she had to sneeze. This was when you were approached by Dustin, his entourage not far behind him. He had nearly grown to your height. Last time youd seen him, he had to be maybe 11 or 12, and it was hard not to feel guilty about leaving. Dustin had seen you as some sort of higher life form for the majority of his life, and one day you- his fucking hero- just up and left. Sure you went on to make him and Mom proud, but it still really hurt sometimes, you know?

“Hey y/n” His voice cracked, and he quickly cleared his throat so you wouldnt hear it. “Missed you” You could tell he was trying to play it cool. Trying to show you that he grew up and matured just like everyone else, nearly rubbing it in your face that he didnt need you to help raise him. Nearly.

“Come here, asshole”. You pulled the latter into a tight hug, that lasted a few moments. It wasnt until you broke off the hug and said hey to the others that you made eye contact with Steve. He smiled at you, all crooked and adorable like always. It was infuriating.

Nobody ever really tells you how to act when your brothers best friend just happens to be the first man youd ever loved. And to make it even worse, its been four years and hes still the only man youve ever loved.

Unsure of how to act, you gave Steve half of a smile, careful not to give him as much of a reaction as you initially had wanted to, scared that youd slip up in some way. Before either of you could say anything, Margo entered the room loudly, Robin clinging onto her arm.

“So was nobody going to fucking help me?? Jesus, Steve this is Y/n, Y/n this is Steve. Youve met before assholes enough with the longing stares. Come on Harrington I need help with the amps.” Well, at least Margo knew how to dissipate an awkward situation.

————————————————

Steve had no idea how to act around you. After all, what could he say. ‘Sorry for leaving you for your brothers best friends sister, who also happens to be a friend of yours. Hope it didnt make anything awkward for you. We cool?’ Steve just didnt have a way with words like you did. Contrary to popular belief, Steve had a lot going on in that pretty head of his, he either just didnt want to, or genuinely could not voice it.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you Steve Harrington?”

“Whatd I do this time, Johnson?”

“Come on, really? You know what you did Steve, and so do they.” Margo gestured to you. The girl sure did know how to hold a grudge, but she was well within her rights to be pissed off.

Steve told you he couldnt love you anymore. You knew it was total bullshit and so did Margo.

Steve grabbed the handle of the amplifier, pulling it out of the trunk of Margos car. Sure hed made a choice he was less than proud of, but he wasnt about to grow up and accept the consequences like an adult. Bold of anyone to assume he would.

“Seriously thiygh, Steve. I care about Y/n. Talk this out with them, even if they say they dont want to speak with you or that they dont want to hear it, I promise they do.” Margo stated, being serious for probably the first time since Steve had known her, before walking off with the large guitar case in her hands.

You and Steve had made eye contact as you walked past him, and as hard as he tried to read you, the intense lack of emotion toward him you displayed really hit close to home. Steve nearly stumbled to the ground, the weight of his emotion and fear, and the amp, overwhelming him, but he forced himself forward instead, keeping his gaze ahead of him.

Margo, for once, was right. You guys had to talk it out. That was the only way to find peace in the situation, and maybe even emerge as friends. He knew it was a stretch, but if you were going to be visiting, the boy only had two options. See, and ignore you, as you had been ignoring him, or be a fucking adult and talk with his ex girlfriend about the fact that theyd broken up. And there was no way in hell he was going to let you leave again, feeling unwelcome in your own home for something that was nobodys fault but his own. He couldnt let you, or Dustin, down like that.

A/n: This is kinda crappy but i kinda like it.. the song is Wet by Dazey and the Scouts btw. TY FOR READING🫶🏾 Part two will come out soon enough<333

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #Stevie #steve harrington fanfic #fanfiction #henderson!reader #x reader #lovesick!steve harrington

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yunessa · 3 months ago

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Thanks for the tag @dujour13 ! This was a lot of fun. You might want to wait until chapter 23 Dujour because these are big spoilers.

Tag game: Give your KC’s first impression and final opinion of each of their companions!

Yunessa's (not spoiler-free) hot takes:

First impressions

Seelah – A paladin with a sense of humour that likes to drink at a bar and joke around? I've never said 'my kind of paladin' about well, any of them. But I think I can now.

Camellia – Not friendly or quite... approachable. But reliable despite the circumstances we met.

Lann – You deserve a life where what you love doesn't choke you to death slowly,

Wenduag – She hurt children. I don't care what else she did or wants- I have no mercy for her.

Woljif – He'd sell me a bridge in Drezen. But he's friendly and he didn't leave when we helped him... I enjoy his company.

Ember – A lost not-child. I;m glad she wants to stay with me too.

Daeran – Do I have a weakness for blondes? Better put that away. He's sharp tongued, but he's funny and I like his company.

Nenio – I have a name. Use it.

Ulbrig – Strange man, meets a strange new land. What do you think awaits you beyond these walls?

Galfrey – What do you say to the statues of the past? She has more faith in me than I think she should.

Finnean- Dear friend! A reminder I'm not as normal as I desperatly hoped. Maybe we can do something to help you in the future.

Sosiel – He makes me feel like I could complain about anything and find reassurance in the most baseless of complaints. Why is a priest of Shelyn in armor and smiling so brightly in this war?

Regill – I see you Paralictor. You fill a space bigger than most people thrice your size and you're unapologetic about it. What lays between the lines?

Trever – What did I do, that you would do everything I asked of you with naught but a glance? Only a word, but you seem like you'd go to the Hells and back if I desired.

Arueshalae – Do I trust you or the illusion your aura inspires? Desna or not, I don't know. But if you're here- maybe there's a reason I donn't know yet.

Greybor – Rough edges. Smoking by a fire. A gravelly voice talking as I go to sleep. Will you be the death of me if I trust in your paper contract more than the next big offer for my head? Why not?

Aivu – You are far to small and guileless for a world so cold and cruel.

Decades later (Several deaths and restarts later) but not quite the end.

Seelah –My shield against the end. Deserving of more than her goddess gives her. She deserves all the good things I could have never given her over these years. Seelah, if you wanted something, I would have broken Drezen to get it for you.

Camellia – Murderer. Monster. If you only stayed your hand then I would have never had to use mine. I have no ill will, but I have to protect those that matter to me, no matter how often we've met beneath the tunnels.

Lann – Do you fall in love with anyone who falls into the tunnels Lann? I see the eyes you give me when my back is turned. I see the way you act. Was I to kind? Not firm enough? I fear for the end of this, that you won't seek someone else and will just pine for me. If nothing else Lann- I'm an elf. Did your mother's story not warn you of how long we outlive what we love? My dear friend, what should I do when you fail to see the forest through the trees?

Wenduag – Every time I see you, I want you dead. I've never killed children. Not now, not when this started. But you always admit to it so casually. So easily. When did the lives of those that looked up to you truly lose meaning? Why would you hurt someone who thinks you're tall enough to reach the sky? What's worth ruling in the tunnels when there's freedom above?

Woljif – You held your hands to my throat when I died. You cried. You were the reason I started doing this and now- I just want a world where you can thrive. You cared and because you cared I found a reason to keep getting up again. I don't know what would make you happiest- but you deserve a chance to have the world. Ready to be looted or explored.

Ember – I want you to grow up and heal. But in a world where this crusade goes on, can you? I can't answer for you. You can remain a not-child, a child- whatever you want Ember, I'll not only ruin Drezen if it keeps you happy, but do whatever I can for you. You deserve more than what this pitiful bard can give you.

Daeran – My heart. My other half! All I need is your shoulder and the worst of my pains will ebb away. Your hand caressing my hair, your words- If no other reason, you're why I keep trying at the end of the day. Even when I'm tired, angry or wanting to end it all. Thoughts of you keep me moving forward. I am to greedy to let you go and you also seem to share the same greed for me. Good. I think.

Finnean- I wish I could give you a body. You're cheerful, you work hard, and I want you to be alive everytime I see your eye move on the scabbbard. You comfort me when you see I'm tired or weary and more than once you've saved my life- I want to give you something more than being just a weapon. But I don't think I can do anything else besides let you go. What else would there be to your current life when you cannot even control who wields you?

Nenio – What. Is. My. Name. I don't care for your research- Have I not helped to support every childish experiment that was reasonable? I don;t care what you deem important. I have a name. When have I asked anything else but that you use. my. name. You show how little you care and how much you respect me every time you choose to ignore my name. If there's any relationship here, it's all one sided- you use me and then when this crusade is over, so to, shall you leave me.

Ulbrig – Wise and cunning. You'd laugh in the face of death and go laughing all the way to Pharasma where you'd brag how the stupid goblins barely managed to take you down. A world without you is darker indeed.

Galfrey – I hate you. I work, I try I struggle and at the end of the day- you can throw me to the abyss. But your only living family member gets cast in with me? At least apologise to him, say something. But people like you all fall in the same line. Does your jealously and my anger mean anything when you toss us away so easily?

Sosiel – No better friend, no worse enemy than you, a cleric who struggles to see the best in a world that continuously shows the worst. You know your worst side and it bothers you. But it is a struggle to be a good man and you show that through that struggle, you can become a better man.

Regill – My right hand. My sword. My best friend. A crusade without you would be infinity worse. Who else can tell me I'm stupid or need to be harsh? Who else can speak between the lines? The people who don't know you always use your status as a Hellknight or a gnome as if it was all you were. But anyone who does, has failed to understand Regil Derenge as a person.

Trever – If I said the sky was green and the moon made from clouds, you wouldn't care. But you'd believe I was right and if I called, you'd answer. No matter the day or time. Loyalty without questions. Loyalty undeserving, no matter the cost to yourself. When I turn to look behind me, I see you there as if you're my shadow.

Arueshalae – You're struggling to keep becoming what you want. But it is better to struggle to become what you want than it is to be born perfect and free of flaws? You struggle to answer a question you already know the answer to. I've already planned to buy you your cottage and field so you can have the life you want when this is done. A comfortable life where you can live as you deserve.

Greybor – Your gravelly voice and steady hands have done more for the crusade than a century of crusaders. You're blunt, and as worthy as the contract we sign. But I'd sign one with you anytime. You've proven your worth and it's more valuable than the contracts you sign.

Aivu- You look up at me like I'm worth something. I don't feel like I am, but when you rest your head on me or childlishly reuqest treats I always find I'm hard pressed to deny you anything.

#yunessa

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appalachiananarchist · 10 months ago

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I have a lot to say about this.

Regarding general inaccessibility:

Medicine is not friendly to disability, period. Signed, a disabled doctor.

Because medicine is hostile toward disabled doctors/students, we haven't placed much focus on finding ways to arrange accommodations for doctors, normalizing asking for accommodations, or viewing disability as anything other than a red flag that gets your application side-eyed. Medical training, as I will discuss below, is a really inhumane process sometimes. The things that are physically and emotionally expected of people are simply not survivable for people with various types of illnesses or disabilities. The people making decisions about who gets accepted to school and who doesn't take this into account. Anyone who says "no they don't!" or "that's not legal!" can message me directly. Again, signed, a disabled doctor who was questioned at length about it when applying to school and residency.

The end result is that many disabled would-be doctors get pushed out of the field early, already skewing practitioners toward people who are generally healthier and able bodied, and therefore less empathetic toward the disabled and chronically ill.

Quick side note before I go on: Even though the structure of training and practice is not disability-friendly, that doesn't mean disabled doctors don't make it through or that doctors who start off healthy/able-bodied cannot become ill or disabled later. There is an odd view that we are inhuman robots who do not understand or experience poor health ever, which worsens ableist expectations of medical practitioners and trainees & the overall problem here.

Due to inaccessibility and discouragement during the selection process, we are already starting with a sample of healthier-than-average people. Then the training and practice itself just kind of squeezes the remaining empathy out of people. Some of that is necessary. If I felt the full force of empathy for every patient who hurt, who cried, who died, I would not be able to walk out of the room and deal with the next patient. But even then, it isn't that I don't FEEL the emotions - I just compartmentalize them, deal with them later, when people don't immediately need me. The problem comes when the superhuman expectations on trainees and practitioners makes you so jaded that your ability to feel these emotions at all gets damaged.

It is...hard to feel sympathetic toward a patient with a chief complaint of "tiredness" when you are on day 14 of a stretch of 12 hour shifts, but also had to cover a 24 last night in which you were up all night running code blues, and now have morning clinic office hours. It's hard to be sympathetic towards another's depression when you haven't slept normally in weeks, haven't spent any time with your family in as long, have lost all your friends, missed most weddings/birthdays/funerals in the family for years, and have sacrificed most if not all hobbies (all of these things are common especially in residency). I have seen residents and doctors go through some really inhumane things, especially during residency training, and it absolutely changes you when the people around you care so little for your needs. Cries for help are often met with professional concerns for your ability to continue. Medicine teaches us that our suffering does not matter, needing help is weakness, & stoicism is necessary, so when we see our patients come to us for help for things that we also experience, it is really, really easy to feel bitter toward them. It is WRONG, of course, but easy. People are just people.

I can say both anecdotally and from personal experience: the lifestyle balance can improve, if you seek it out, after residency, but the years of being treated like a robot and the "tough it out" mindset that was hammered into our heads during that time doesn't just go away, and it impacts the way we communicate with and think about patients forever.

Side note 2: Obviously not every doctor has had experiences like the above, but it is really common, and was much worse in the older generations of doctors. Obviously not every doctor has been so deeply affected to the point of bitterness. I am just discussing in broad strokes some common things I have heard, seen, and personally experienced among myself and my colleagues.

Regarding the shift & work hours, specifically:

People who support long shifts can generally be divided into 2 camps: the "this is how I trained so you will too/it builds character/if you can't handle this you can't handle medicine" camp, which can be immediately disregarded as an appeal to authority and tradition, and the "frequent care transitions are dangerous to patients" camp, which deserves discussion.

When a doctor goes off shift and a new one comes on to take their place, a transition of care occurs. All the important information about a patient has to be quickly communicated between providers. Information gets lost because human communication is never perfect. Due to this, deceasing the number of transitions between doctors per day is best for patient care.

Doing the more standard 8 hour shifts (in hospitals, anyway) would mean having 3 doctors working that day and require 2 trade offs. This means employing (and therefore paying) more people, and increases risk of information loss or miscommunication during the day.

In the inpatient setting, I really think 12 hour shifts are fine. You can have a day and night shift doc, 1 transition. This issue I have is not with 12 hour shifts themselves, but that people are sometimes expected to work way too many in a row. I have had to do 14+ days of 12s without any breaks, and that wears you down fast when you consider how mentally exhausting this type of work is. You have to always be at your best or you could kill someone.

I think 24+ hour shifts should never happen. There is no good justification for it outside of true emergencies. The risk of hand offs is not greater than the risk of a sleep deprived doctor caring for you. We know way too much about how sleep deprivation works for any good doctor to feel this is ethical for their patients, who often have no idea just how little sleep we have got when they agree to be under our care. Our patients deserve so much better than this dishonesty and it should be considered equivalent in unprofessionalism to coming into work drunk or high. I once was in a trauma surgery where one of the residents actually dozed off while standing over the patient. Explain to me how that was safer than calling in another resident.

People like to say the long hours or multiple days/weeks without relief is a necessary part of medicine. It isn't. The problem could be improved by creating more doctors to meet demand. This would mean entirely revamping the medical school + residency process and creating more positions. Physician salaries would end up lower, but who cares if by increasing med school accessibility we lower its cost, so we don't all have 3-400K in student loan debt that necessitates high salaries to manage, and are not so bitter and sleep deprived that our divorce rate is like 70-80% and suicide rate is ridiculously high? We need a greater push in the culture of medicine to prioritize physical and mental well being of trainees and doctors so we aren't churning out people whose empathy has been burned out of them. We need a greater culture change to find ways to accommodate doctors with disabilities, to get more perspectives in the field and to force the issue of improving work-life balance in medicine.

That is really over simplified in terms of a solution, of course.

A genuine health care worker strike would probably be very effective. One time all the doctors at my hospital started mass transferring our post-cardiac arrest patients (big hospital money makers) out to other hospitals until our administration got a hypothermia protocol in place. The protocol was instituted within 24 hours. I don't think a traditional strike will happen, though, at least not among American doctors. Partly because you are talking about a bunch of beaten down rule-followers. Mostly because a doctor truly leaving their post means innocent people are irreparably damaged or die. It complicates matters.

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rubysunnday · 4 years ago

Text

it’s a love story

a/n: this is a looonnnggg one, but i enjoyed writing it a lot. Thank you to @gryffindors-weasley who’s stories have inspired this one - if you want more sweet Colin please go read their stories!

words: 3,703

summary: Y/N has loved Colin since they were children but it was one-sided. She was content to stand aside and watch Colin move on without her. Until Marina.

Unrequited love hurt.

It was easy to lose yourself in night-time fantasies of a life with the one person you loved - dreaming of your wedding, your house and the day they confessed their feelings to you.

Y/N had loved Colin ever since she’d been a child. It’d started off as nothing more than platonic love - they’d been best friends since childhood, and they’d stayed close over the years as they both grew up and turned into something that vaguely resembled adults.

She’d never revealed how she felt to him. Y/N didn’t want to tell him and run the risk of ruining their friendship. She simply stood aside and watched him flirt with and at almost every woman in London. It never bothered her - it was how Colin was. He flirted and played around but never settled.

Until Marina.

Y/N hadn’t thought twice about how he flirted at Marina. Admittedly, it had hurt to see how close they’d been at Daphne’s wedding party and how besotted Colin seemed to be with her. But Y/N had just thought Marina was another passing fancy who would be married and vanished after the season ended.

But the garden party changed that.

She hadn’t wanted to go. Ever since Daphne’s wedding she’d been keeping her distance from Colin and the Bridgerton House in general, not wanting to set herself up for anymore heart ache and pain then what she was mentally prepared for.

As her carriage pulled up to the gardens, Y/N felt her hands begin to shake. It was ridiculous how nervous she was - nothing had even happened yet! She was just nervous to see Colin and have to disguise her feelings from him and Marina.

Before the wheels of her carriage had even stopped rolling, Eloise ran over and flung open the door, looking up at Y/N expectantly. Benedict reluctantly chased after his sister after his mother shoved him in Eloise’s vague, general direction.

Eloise squinted up at her, attempting to read Y/N’s mind. “Nope, you’re not running away,” she said, reaching up and grabbing her friends’ hand and practically pulling her out the carriage, sensing Y/N’s desire to be anywhere other than there.

“Oh, Eloise, don’t start,” Y/N complained, barely catching herself on Benedict’s outstretched arm as she missed the step entirely and lost her footing.

“If I have to suffer, you have to suffer,” Eloise replied, almost pouting.

Y/N sighed, still clutching Benedict’s arm as she regained her sense. “Eloise, I don’t want to be here. I can’t cope with... well, that,” she waved a hand in the vague general direction of where Colin was.

“And I can’t cope with my mother doing what she does best,” Eloise shot back, snatching Y/N’s hand and pulling her into the gardens. “Now, come along, dear Y/N.”

Not trusting her friend, Y/N grabbed Benedict’s hand and dragged the man along with her, ignoring his muttered complaints as he reluctantly followed after his sister.

Everything seemed to be going fine. Y/N hovered around Benedict and Anthony, making small talk with the two and strategically avoiding looking at or being in the vicinity of Colin and having to talk to him.

Every time she looked over at him, he was with Marina, smiling dumbly at something she’d said and looking stupidly doe-eyed at her.

Marina hadn’t done anything to Y/N and was probably a lovely person, but she still infuriated Y/N beyond belief for no reason at all. Her mere existence irritated her.

Benedict looked up, having asked Y/N a question that had been met with silence. He noticed her staring at Colin and nudged Y/N’s arm. “Stop staring.”

Y/N blinked and turned her head away from Colin, plucking an invisible thread off the cuff of her dress. “Thanks,” she muttered quietly. She hadn’t realised she’d been noticeably staring.

Despite never saying anything, both Eloise and Benedict - and presumably the rest of the Bridgerton household since neither sibling could keep their mouths shut - knew about Y/N’s unrequited love for Colin.

When they’d been children, Colin and Y/N had gotten ‘married’ in the back garden of Bridgerton House. It’d been a big event involving all the family and the staff and had ultimately ended in the two getting a ‘divorce’ that evening when Colin threw a carrot at Y/N. But it’d been obvious even then how perfect they were for the other.

Y/N looked up as someone gently knocked their knife against their glass. Her heart almost stopped when she realised it was Colin and that Marina was standing next to him looking very pleased.

“May I have everyone’s attention?” Colin asked as silence fell over the gathered party.

Y/N was trying not to think the worse. She could see the confusion on Anthony’s face at what his brother was about to do but Y/N knew, deep down, what was about to happen.

“I would like to make a small but important announcement,” Colin continued, practically beaming. “I have happy news to impart.”

Y/N could hear her heart beating. She knew what was coming. There was nothing else that Colin could say that would make sense and that would make Marina smile so much. She unconsciously reached out her hand and grabbed Anthony’s arm, squeezing it tightly.

“I have asked Miss Marina Thompson to be my wife, and she has accepted.”

Everyone around them gasped in delight. Benedict was smiling, Lady Featherington was beaming, and Anthony looked like he was about to throttle someone.

Y/N felt as if her entire life was falling apart in front of her. She’d lost the one thing that meant everything to her to someone else. Her grip on Anthony’s arm increased and he looked over at her.

“Smile,” Anthony whispered, despite his own surprise and anger. “And go congratulate them.”

It took a moment for Y/N’s mind to realise that Anthony had even spoken. But a moment later she nodded, plastered a smile to her face and approached Colin and Marina with false joy and gratitude despite the fact her heart was breaking apart inside her.

For the rest of the week, Y/N stayed at home. Despite the invitation being extended to her to join the Featherington’s and a few of the Bridgerton’s for dinner, she declined it, unable to bear the pain of seeing Colin and Marina stare lovingly at one another.

The seventh day of hiding dawned annoyingly early and Y/N, who felt as if she hadn’t slept in months, found herself pottering around her house with no purpose in mind.

“Miss Y/L/N.”

Y/N turned around to face her butler. “Yes, Simmons?”

“Miss Eloise Bridgerton is here to see you, ma’am. She’s refusing to leave.”

Y/N sighed and pursed her lips. “Of course, she is,” she muttered. “Where is she?”

Simmons gestured to the lounge and Y/N headed down the corridor towards the room.

“Eloise, I swear -” Y/N cut herself off abruptly at the pained yet excited look on Eloise’s face as the woman ran up to her and all but crashed into her.

“The engagement is off,” Eloise said all at once, her excitement overtaking her need to speak.

Y/N blinked. “I - what is off?”

“Colin and Marina Thompson’s engagement,” Eloise said again, elaborating a little more. Y/N blinked again. “What?”

Eloise grabbed Y/N’s hand and dragged her into the living room, thrusting the latest Lady Whistledown into her hands.

Y/N hadn't read it in the past week - every page being focused on Colin and Marina and how happy Daphne and the duke had seemed. Every description of anything related to love added insult to injury.

She scanned it quickly and stared at the words with wide eyes. The paper fell from her hands as she looked up at Eloise.

“She... she’s pregnant?” Y/N whispered, almost not daring to say it. “What, when, how - I mean, I know how but...”

“I didn’t know how,” Eloise admittedly sheepishly.

Y/N’s head shot up, Colin and Marina forgotten. “How did you not know? You grew up with three older brothers!”

Eloise shrugged. “It just... never came up. Anyway,” she fluttered the piece of paper in font of Y/N’s face, “Colin’s free.”

“Eloise -”

“What? Y/N, there is nothing standing between you and Colin.”

Y/N sighed and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Eloise, your family’s reputation is... in a treacherous position. If I’m seen flinging myself at Colin to try and benefit from this... I’m not that sort of person. Maybe in a few weeks when its all calmed down...”

Eloise looked her friend up and down. She sat down next to her and took her hand. “Okay. I don’t agree with it but, okay.”

Over the next few days, Y/N began spending more time around the Bridgerton’s, visiting their house like she had before Colin’s proposal.

All of the Bridgerton’s, bar Colin, knew why Y/N had vanished for a few days but said nothing of her sudden re-appearance. Y/N put it down to feeling ill - she tried not to fall apart when Colin asked after her with concern in his voice and worry in his eyes.

“I’m fine now,” Y/N told him, smiling. “Just a blip.”

“Good,” Colin replied, matching her smile.

Y/N sipped on her tea, casting her eyes down as she felt her stomach flutter at the sight of his smile - even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you attending the Queen’s garden party tomorrow?” Y/N asked, setting her cup down on its saucer with a soft clink.

Colin nodded. “Daphne and the duke are back in town... so, yes, we’re all going to be attending. Are you...”

“Yes, I’ll be there,” Y/N replied, trying not to smile at the palpable relief that appeared on Colin’s face at her answer.

Despite everything that had happened over the past few days, Colin and Y/N’s relationship hadn’t changed. Yes, Y/N was still longing after someone she would likely never have but she’d missed her best friend too much to sulk in her own misery for much longer.

The day of the Queen’s Garden Party, Y/N joined the Bridgerton’s, walking in with the family, her arm in Colin’s.

“Isn’t this lovely?” Violet asked, smiling as she put her arm around Hyacinth. “All of us together again. And Y/N.”

Y/N laughed. “Thanks, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Yes, it’s lovely indeed. We should tempt scandal more often,” Colin muttered. He grunted lightly as Y/N elbowed him in the stomach. “Ow.”

“Hush,” Y/N replied. She was highly aware of everyone staring at them - a given considering the scandal that Marina had brought down upon the Bridgerton’s.

After a few minutes, and after the Queen had accosted Daphne and the duke, Y/N wandered off from the Bridgerton’s, mingling with the other guests and indulging herself in a glass of lemonade and a biscuit.

“Oh, Miss Y/L/N!”

Y/N closed her eyes at the shrill, grating voice of Cressida Cowper. She was the last person she’d wanted to see let along speak to. Y/N plastered a smile to her face and turned to face Cressida.

“Miss Cowper, how are you?” Y/N asked.

“I’m wonderful, thank you. I just wanted to know what you think you’re doing,” Cressida replied, her tone cheerful but the words sounded and felt forced.

Y/N frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Cressida.”

“Mr Bridgerton - Colin, I mean. You’ve been fawning all over him since the news about Miss Thompson broke -”

“I haven’t been fawning, I’ve been trying to be a good friend,” Y/N replied slowly, her frown deepening.

Cressida waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, but we all know that your ‘friendship’ is a disguise for your unrequited love for Mr Bridgerton.”

The empty glass in Y/N’s hand all most fell to the floor, but she kept a tight grip on it as she looked at Cressida. “Excuse me?”

“Well, it’s well known that you are in love with Colin and that he doesn’t know. And if he did, well, that would be your friendship over, wouldn’t! Perhaps you are even Lady Whistledown and wrote that article on Miss Thompson to have Colin all to yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re implying here, Cressida -”

“Oh, I’m not implying anything, Y/N,” Cressida replied, smiling slyly. “We both know the truth about your relationship with Colin. I just can’t imagine how hurt he would be if Lady Whistledown turned out to be you. Besides, it’s not like you actually think he could possibly love you? You don’t deserve him.”

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Colin asked, stepping into the conversation and putting a hand on the small of Y/N’s back.

Y/N turned her head away and, despite the tightness in her throat, swallowed and smiled. “Yes, Miss Cowper was just leaving,” she said firmly.

Cressida all but stamped her foot as she turned and flounced off. Colin watched her go and then turned back to Y/N, frowning in concern. He was no stranger to the stings Cressida and her mother often gave out to the Ton.

“What was that about?” Colin asked. “I didn’t really hear much -”

“Nothing,” Y/N cut in. Colin’s hand was still resting on her back and she could feel the heat of his hand seeping through the light pink silk of her dress. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t just be friends and pretend her feelings didn’t exist when they did. She took a shaky breath in, clenching her lace gloved hands tightly as they shook. “Excuse me.”

Ignoring Colin’s worried and hurt expression, Y/N stepped away from him and walked off towards the back of the gardens in search for some peace and quiet.

Y/N found a small side garden amongst the hedges and darted into it, kicking the small white picket fence gate shut behind her - forming a very pathetic barrier that Colin could probably climb over.

Cressida had always had the ability to get under her skin. Normally she would simply forget and move on with her day but everything Cressida had said - minus the Lady Whistledown accusation - was true.

She didn’t deserve Colin. That was partly why she’d been so content to let him marry Marina - because she didn’t deserve him. And why would he love her? Compared to Marina and every other women Colin had flirted at or with, she wasn’t much of anything.

“Y/N?”

Y/N closed her eyes at the sound of Colin’s voice, mentally wishing him away. She refused to turn around and face him - she could feel the emotions beginning to win over her and could feel her eyes burning.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? What did Cressida say?” Colin asked, walking up to her and putting a hand on her back where the fabric was nothing more than a sheer covering.

Y/N could feel the heat of his skin and the soft skin of his hand and suddenly wanted him to just go away and never speak to her again because it would make things so much easier.

“Nothing that wasn’t true,” Y/N said softly, a stray tear escaping her eye and dripping on to her cheek. She felt Colin still and knew he’d heard at least some of what Cressida had said. “You heard, didn’t you?” Y/N asked quietly.

Colin didn’t answer for a moment. “I... I heard the last few sentences.”

Y/N laughed humourlessly. “Of course, you did,” she said, her laugh mixing with sobs. She turned around to face her best friend with tears in her eyes.

Colin looked at her, stunned by the broken expression on her face. In the years he’d known her, the only time he’d seen her that broken had been when her mother had passed away and she’d sobbed into his arms all night. “Y/N/N...”

“No,” Y/N stepped to the side, away from Colin’s outstretched hand. “No, I’m sorry.” She inhaled sharply. “I can’t... I can’t do this. I know - I can’t.”

Colin lunged forward and grabbed Y/N’s wrist as she turned to go, yanking her to a halt and forcing her to look at him. “Y/N, wait.”

“What, Colin? So, you can make fun of the fact that I’ve been on love with my best friend since I was sixteen?”

“No, I just... I need an explanation - I need someone to explain because my head is spinning,” Colin replied. “I don’t understand.”

Y/N sniffed, looking down at the grass. “You own my heart, Colin,” she said simply. She looked up. “When I dream of my future it's with you. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with - the one I see myself loving until I die.”

Y/N paused, swallowing down the tears that wanted to fall. She had to say this now, to get it over with and make it clear. Even though it was physically hurting her. “And I know you don’t feel the same way so, we can just leave this here. Nothing else has to be said about it. I’ll leave and we don’t have to speak of this again - or even see each other if that’s what you want.”

Colin said nothing. He was too stunned and surprised by the sudden confession and the events of the past few days to form a sentence. Y/N nodded sadly, taking his silence as her answer, and left the gardens.

She tried to hide her tear-stained face and broken heart as she emerged back into the main party. She’d arrived with the Bridgerton’s and had no way of getting home without them. Y/N spotted Anthony near the entrance and quickly made her way over to him, desperate to leave before anyone cornered her or spoke to her.

“Anthony,” Y/N said softly, nudging his arm.

Anthony turned around as the people he had been talking to walked off. It took him all of thirty seconds to take in her teary eyes, her shaking hands and the broken look on her face. “Y/N...”

“I’d like to go home, please,” she said quietly, her voice breaking on the last few words.

Anthony, to his credit, didn’t ask why. He nodded and took her arm, steering her out the garden. He caught Benedict as they passed, the two sharing a quick and quiet conversation. She caught the pitying stare Benedict gave her, the simple action making her tears free fall once again.

The carriage they had arrived in wasn’t waiting out front for them. Anthony looked around for it but saw no sign.

“I’ll be back, are you alright to stay here?”

“I’ll be fine,” Y/N replied, nodding.

Anthony squeezed her shoulder and walked off with a determined stride to find their carriage.

“Y/N!”

Y/N closed her eyes and turned around. “Colin, don’t -”

Colin skidded to a halt in front of Y/N, scattering the pebbles of the driveway with his sudden stop. He was panting, as if he’d ran from the garden to the driveway without stopping.

“Just, listen,” he said, cutting her off. “I... I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.”

“I know, you don’t like me, it’s fine -”

“Will you,” Colin walked forward until he was inches away from her, “just listen?” He took her gloved hand and held it in his. “I didn’t say anything because you caught me entirely off guard. The past few days have been chaos and I need a moment to think. Because the last thing I expected was you to declare your love to me in a garden on a random Thursday. The truth is, Y/N, is that I have loved you ever since we had our wedding in the gardens of my house.”

Y/N let out a snort of laughter despite her tears. “I thought you didn’t want me,” she said softly, looking up at him. “Why would you? I don’t deserve you -”

“That,” Colin said, putting a hand on Y/N’s cheek and wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb, “sounds suspiciously like the words of a Cowper. Y/N, I love you. I thought you didn’t want me!”

Y/N laughed tearfully and leant into Colin’s hand, still resting on her cheek. “We’re idiots.”

“That we are,” Colin agreed, nodding. “Y/N... the way I feel when I’m with you... there is nothing on this earth that is comparable. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought Marina would be the one to make me forget you but every time I looked at her... I thought of you. I thought about how much I want to kiss you -”

“Then kiss me,” Y/N said, her voice not much more than a whisper. “And make it a good one, Colin.”

And suddenly his lips were on hers and there was a hunger and a need as he kissed her. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Y/N’s hand went to the back of his head, her fingers combing through his curls. She could feel his heart pounding and could feel the warmth from his skin as his hand moved up her back.

It was years of waiting and pining and wanting the other. Y/N needed Colin like she needed to breathe, and Colin needed Y/N like he needed water to live.

Y/N reluctantly pulled away from Colin, her hand still in his hair. She rested her forehead against his. “I love you.”

Colin rested his forehead on hers. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, staring at her. His hand was on her waist and the other one was on the back of her neck, stroking the skin gently. “I love you too.”

“So... are we organising another wedding?”

Y/N dropped her head on to Colin’s shoulder at the sound of Anthony’s voice and groaned loudly. “Seriously, Anthony?!”

“You two kissed in the driveway,” Anthony pointed out, crossing his arms and attempting to look intimidating despite the stupid grin on his face. “Now, are we going or staying, because I’ve still yet to find our carriage.”

“We can stay,” Y/N replied, her hand entwined with Colin’s. “And when we walk back in there, we’re going to break the Ton.”

#bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagines #colin bridgerton #colin bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x reader #imagine

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i-just-like-goats · 3 years ago

Text

Miya Atsumu x Female Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: The Inarizaki team have all placed bets on when you and your longtime best friend Atsumu will finally get together. Kita is close to losing the bet, time for him to step in.

It is known to all students at Inarizaki High that Atsumu was a lady’s man. Sure he wasn’t a womaniser or a player, but that didn’t stop him from breaking hearts everywhere he went. His mere dismissal of a girl would lead that girl to burst into tears, straight up rejections even worse. His casual flirtatious comments did not at all help with his reputation, leading oblivious girls to believe he actually held interest in them. How wrong they were.

Whereas you. You deemed yourself nothing special. Nothing too flashy, unlike a certain someone. You didn’t stand out in a crowd, and most certainly never attempted to shine or take the spotlight. You left that to your best friend.

Miya Atsumu.

“Hey could you-“

“No.”

“Will you please put in a good-“

“No.”

The first two girls had left, their hopes crushed, you felt relieved they had gone to class until another girl replaced them and effectively disrupted your short lived peace.

“Y/N!” She said, her voice oozed with fake sweetness.

“Do I know you?” You asked bluntly.

“We sit next to each other in chemistry, silly. Don’t you remember?”

“And?”

“So I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?”

“If it’s homework we had none. If it’s class work I’ll send you my notes. If it’s anything else; leave me alone.”

“I just need you to give this little gift to At-“

“Not interested.”

With that you swiftly walked away, which left the unnamed girl open mouthed with shock. This was the daily routine you had to put up with. Reject all of Atsumu’s fan girls who approached you in order to reach him. Truth be told it was extremely tedious, but you couldn’t really complain - after all you were the one who befriended him. It was a small price to pay for being friends with him.

“Hey I was wondering if you could set me up with Atsumu?” A different girl asked.

Scratch that it wasn’t small. At all. It was a big price to pay. Very tedious. Very irritating. Very time consuming. By the time you reached your first class - English - you were already exhausted and plopped yourself into your seat.

“Don’t you look wonderful?”

“Well you wouldn’t look so hot either if you had to fight off Atsumu’s admirers in the space of one morning.”

Osamu noticed your sharp tone and held his hands up in mock surrender. You shook your head at him and started writing down what your teacher was saying.

Lunch came around and you made your way to your usual table next to your best friend.

“There’s my favourite best friend!”

All eyes were on you as you made your way to Atsumu. Some looked with contempt. Some with envy. Others with anger. All harboured ill feelings towards you. He had that certain look in his eye when you walked over to him, like you were the greatest thing in the world. His smile widened once you took the seat across from him, Atsumu’s eyes sparkled with joy as though it was his first time seeing your face again. Suna scoffed at his expression, not before taking a sneaky picture of proof about how much Miya Atsumu was whipped for Y/N L/N.

“Where were you all morning! I missed you so much,”

“I was dying,”

Silence. Atsumu tilted his head in confusion. Next to him, his twin stifled a laugh.

“Bro, your girlfriend here was busy fending off the wild animals that make up your fan club. She had no time to see your stupid face, and the last time you saw her was yesterday,”

Everyone in proximity of your table tensed up at Osamu’s words. From the table next to yours, Atsumu’s fan girls glared daggers at you.

“Yesterday was ages ago,” Atsumu whined.

“That’s what you focus on?” You ask incredulously.

Instantly Atsumu’s demeanour changed and he glanced to his left.

“Way to go Osamu, now Y/N’s on their hit list,” Atsumu said dryly.

“Well if you didn’t flirt back none of us would be in this mess,” Kita kindly passive aggressively informed his teammate.

Ever since Atsumu’s first official match, girls had been flocking to Atsumu like a swarm of bees to their queen. Every day the Inarizaki volleyball team had to deal with squealing fan girls gushing over Atsumu’s talent for volleyball, essentially distracting the players and disrupting practice. At first Atsumu shamelessly flirted back, basking in the attention, now he, as well as the others were fed up. In short, Kita was tired. Tired of the fan girls. And most importantly tired of the fact that you and Atsumu weren’t dating yet. At this rate Kita would lose the bet that Osamu and Suna had coerced him to take part in. He had bet that you and Atsumu would be dating by the end of the month, which was this Saturday, and the way things were going between you two, he’d probably have to ask you out himself for Atsumu in order to win the bet. On the other hand, Osamu bet that Atsumu would ask in their third year, Aran bet that you would actually ask instead of Atsumu and Suna bet that Atsumu would ask at the end of next month. It was decided that the losers would do what the winner wanted for a day, with no complaining whatsoever. A whole day of getting the team to do what he wants without complaints. A dream come true for Kita.

“It’s the end of the month on Saturday. Two days,” Osamu sing songed.

“So?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing,”

You dropped it and shrugged. Opposite you, Kita sent a saccharine smile towards Osamu, while the latter playfully smirked back. Kita had a plan.

Two day passed as usual, nothing significant happened; that is until the end of the second day. As usual, you made your way out of Physics with Atsumu; your best friend filled in the silence with his cheerful chatter. Unusually, Kita stood there at the end of the corridor.

“Hey cap! What brings you here?” Atsumu inquired.

Kita seemed to snap out of whatever was bothering him, for his face returned from his previous scrunched expression to his more neutral expression.

“Hm? Oh I came here to speak with Y/N. If that’s alright with the two of you?”

You nodded, though intrigued as to what Kita wanted to talk to you about, Atsumu on the other hand stayed silent. Before you left with Kita, he crushed you with a hug and sent puppy eyes at your retreating figure, walking next to his captain.

During the walk out of school grounds, Kita mentally prepared himself to convince you to ask Atsumu out, allowing both his and Aran’s plan to work, so that the pair won the bet - Kita was too engrossed in his thoughts. A while passed before you and Kita spoke; you were already halfway home before you confronted Kita.

“Kita?”

“You have feelings for Atsumu, don’t you?”

Kita panicked at your sudden dialogue and spoke the words that first came to his mind. His panic was not conveyed through his steady tone of voice. Truth be told, it was more of a statement than a question, it certainly caught you off guard. The latter half of the sentence seemed to be added hastily as though to soften the bluntness.

“What makes you say that?” You answered evenly, and turned your face away from him, a small blush settled firmly on your cheeks.

“Answering my question with a question I see,” he teased, “Everyone knows, the both of you don’t hide your feelings very well, it surprises me that you two aren’t dating yet,”

“I know he has feelings for me, I’m not an idiot, I see the way he looks differently at me and I see how he’s more clingy towards me than the others. I’m not an idiot,” you repeated.

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know,”

“I think you do know. Idiot,”

You pouted and let out a huff.

“Fine. Fine,” you finally conceded, “I’m not an idiot but I am a coward. I guess - as cliché as it sounds - I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if it doesn’t work out and we end on bad terms? Years of friendship would be wasted and gone in an instant. I just. I just don’t want to risk that happening,”

“What’s life without a little risk,”

At Kita’s attempt at lightening the mood, you scoffed and shook your head.

“Sorry, that was unlike me. What I meant to say was you won’t know until you try. Sure there is that possibility that the relationship may end badly and the precious friendship between you and Atsumu would probably be lost, but there is also a chance that this relationship will end happily, with no heartbreak. I can’t guarantee that everything will be peachy; obviously there’s going to be some problems along the way but knowing your stubborn personality I am confident that you will fight for you and Atsumu, because I know you care way too much for him to let him go,”

Kita’s speech surprised you, this was the most encouraging thing he had said to you. Ever. You smiled.

“Thanks Kita. I really needed that,” you said as you finally reached your house.

Kita made his way to his house, waving as he walked down the steeet. He left you with a lot to think about.

Later that evening you called Kita again, and talked until he decided that it was time to go to sleep.

That morning you walked to school with Kita in a comfortable silence. Once you reached school you spoke.

“Ok I’m going to do it,”

“Yes you will,” Kita encouraged.

Confidently you walked up to your long time best friend, then suddenly turned the other direction.

“I can’t do it,” you cried out.

Exasperatedly, Kita shook his head and forced a strained smile.

“Y/N do you want to do this or not?”

“I do,”

“Then go get him,”

“I’ll do it while we walk home,”

Anyway, the school day passed, honestly you couldn’t remember what happened, it was all a blur.

“Atsumu?” you called.

“Yup?”

“Do you want to walk home together?”

“Yes! I’m still kinda annoyed you walked with Kita, Kita of all people instead of me,”

“Sorry about that ‘Tsumu,” you replied bashfully.

With that you both made your way out of school. Little did you know Kita, Osamu, Suna and Aran followed you both from a distance. Osamu and Suna because they just wanted to go home. Kita and Aran to make sure you confessed.

“Get ready to do what we want for a day,” Kita stated.

“What do you mean ‘we’?” Suna questioned.

“Kita and I formulated a plan,” Aran answered cryptically.

“Guys shut up Y/N stopped walking,” Osamu whisper shouted.

You had indeed stopped walking, leaving Atsumu to carry on walking and talking. You had been quiet the whole walk, which wasn’t unusual, as you normally let Atsumu talk, while you listened. You were just too lost in your thoughts.

“Y/N?”

Atsumu had finally noticed that you were no longer by his side.

“Hellooo. Earth to Y/N,”

“I like you,”

Atsumu was taken aback. That was not a reply he was expecting.

“I just really like your smile, your personality even though you can be quite big headed at times, I like your laugh, I just like you for you, not in the way that those girls like you for your looks and skills. I like everything about you even your flaws,”

“Whoa, for real?”

You glanced at his expression and burst out laughing.

“You look like surprised Pikachu!” you wheezed out.

Atsumu joined in with your laughter. The two of you continued laughing for several minutes.

“I like you too,” Atsumu said once both your laughter finally died down.

You turned your gaze towards his eyes. His beautiful eyes that held all the stars in the galaxy.

“That’s a relief,”

#atsumu #miya atsumu #haikyuu atsumu #hq atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #inarizaki #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#hq #hq x reader

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

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Only Yours ~ JHS [M] [Request]

WORD COUNT: 3K

GENRE: Fluffy, smut, possessive Hoseok, fluffy ending,

PAIRING: Hoseok X Fem!Reader

A.N: Don't read if you're under the age of 18/19 depending on the law in your country/state! Love ya'll Hope this is okay for you doll

You stared out of the small window in your living room as you debated about going to work or not, Hoseok chuckled when he walked in to see you standing there. Pouting at the rain that seemed to be hammering down outside, it had done nothing but rain for the last two days. Luckily the roads seemed to be clear enough for everyone to drive on, no flood warnings were issued either so you didn't have to worry about not getting home. Hoseok knew how much you loved staying at home on rainy days, you would curl up on the sofa beside him and read a book or just watch TV. You loved listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windows and the roof of the house.

"You have to go out there sooner or later," He laughed as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your body kissing your shoulder softly, you sighed to yourself knowing he was right but that didn't mean you were wanted to go. Work was dragging you in over overtime while Hoseok had the week off from work. The first time in months he finally had some time off and you couldn't even stay at home with him. The rainy season was the best season to curl up next to someone you loved and yet you were being pulled further and further away from your loved one.

"What if I call in sick? Tell them I have chickenpox or the measles or something." You whined your mind filling with a random illness you could tell them you had to stop you from going into work. The common cold was too easy so you had to go with something like the chickenpox, someone contagious to those around you. Hoseok just began shaking his head as he pulled you towards the front door or you would never leave. It was like trying to get a child ready for school who really didn't want to go or trying to get Jungkook up in the mornings.

"You're only there for six hours, it'll fly by." He laughed softly as he watched your face fall at the mention of how long your shift was. It wasn't like you hated your job because you didn't, you adored your job but the one thing you hated about it was being away from Hoseok all of the time. If he wasn't at work you seemed to be at work and if you weren't at work he was either on tour or at the studios all day until late. But that was your life together and you wouldn't change it for anything else in the world, Hoseok was the love of your life and you were his.

"Go, I'll be here when you come home. A nice home-cooked meal and hot chocolate waiting for you." He promised as he wrapped your scarf around your neck and tightened it up so you would be warm enough to walk to the car. The thought of Hoseok cooking on the brand new oven was alarming, he hadn't used it yet but the last time he tried to cook in the old apartment he almost burnt it down.

"Don't burn the house down? We only just moved in and the neighbours already hate us enough," You told him as you remembered your landlord telling you both about the complaints he'd received from the tenants next door. Whenever the boys came around to see you or Hoseok it always ended up with them being loud, the joys of being friends with seven crackheads. All of them hyped up from their days at work or from a concert. It wasn't your fault that the neighbours were all old and moody all of the time,

"I'll give them something to complain about, we're not even loud." Hoseok chuckled as he bent down to give you a small kiss on the lips, you kissed him again...Then again trying to kiss him enough times so he would tell you to stay but it didn't work. He turned you around and pushed you out of the front door, standing in the door frame as he watched you pull out onto the road and head off.

As soon as you'd been gone long enough for Hoseok to know you wouldn't be coming back he went to make himself a hot drink and then head upstairs, he was going to be the nice boyfriend he always was and finish unpacking things for you. The two of you had been together for five years and this was your first big place together meaning there were boxes from the old apartment and your old home that needed unpacking.

"Where to start?" He hummed as he walked into the spare bedroom where all of the boxes were being stored, he grabbed your clothes boxes and headed back to the main room unpacking everything for you. He thought it might have been a nice surprise for you to come home to since both of you had been too busy to do most of the unpacking after moving in a week ago.

Hoseok had severely underestimated how much clothing you had as he finished unpacking the seventh and final box and took a couple of steps back away from the wardrobe. 90% of what was filling it was your clothes and he'd already unpacked all of his own.

"Damn babe how much-" Hoseok stopped speaking to himself when he found another box in the spare bedroom, it was duck taped tightly and had some love hearts drawn all over it. Smirking to himself he picked it up and carried it into the main bedroom to take a look at it. The two of you shared everything with one another so it wasn't as though he was doing something he shouldn't have been. He grabbed the pair of scissors from the bedside cabinet and slid the box open to reveal some folders and then more boxes.

"What have you been hiding Miss Y/l/n?" He chuckled to himself as he pulled one of the folders open to see a Yoongi poster inside of a plastic wallet, no big deal he knew you were a fan before you started dating but as he continued to flick through the folder it became more and more obvious that they were all pictures of Yoongi.

Next, he pulled out one of the smaller boxes to reveal every single Yoongi photo card that had been published with their albums, it must have taken you years and years to get every single one of only his cards. Then there was more items at the bottom of the box, every shooky item available in print. He knew he shouldn't have been growing jealous at the thought of someone other than him being your bias but he couldn't help it. Jealously was bubbling up inside of him at the thought of Yoongi being your bias, especially when he thought about how close you were to Hoseok as a friend. He knew that the two of you would never do anything to hurt him but the anger that was raging inside of him wouldn't let him see past the anger and the jealousy. The thought of you and Yoongi hanging out together and one day admitting to him that he was your bias hit Hoseok hard and he decided to pack the box up, leaving it on the box and waiting for you to come home from work.

"Hobi!" You cried out as you walked through the front door of your house, the warmth hitting you instantly as you shivered. The rain had started to turn to snow and you were freezing to the point where you could no longer feel your face. Hoseok had seen your car pull into the driveway so he headed up to the bedroom to wait for you, leaving the box in perfect view so you knew what was going to happen,

"Hobi?! I'm home..." You took off your layers of coats and scarfs and kicked off your shoes walking into the living room to expect to find Hoseok sitting there but he was nowhere to be seen, the lights were all off downstairs so you headed to the bedroom.

"Hoseok are you taking a nap?" You giggled pushing the door open but stopped giggling the moment you saw the box sitting there, covered in hearts and drawings you'd done.

"Hobi..." You whispered as you looked at the box but Hoseok wasn't in the room, at least not where you could see. He came up from behind you and pulled you back into his chest, arms wrapped around your waist.

"How was work?" He asked as he began to pull off the cardigan you were wearing, you looked at him out of the corner of your eye and bit down on your lip, you could sense that something was wrong with him. Normally you would come home to a nice conversation before he attacked you with kisses.

"It was okay...W-Where did you find-" He cut you off with a rough kiss on the lips and you smirked against his lips, you knew how possessive Hoseok seemed to get in the bedroom but you'd never meant for him to find that box. It wasn't even supposed to come with you in the move, you were supposed to leave it at home.

"You're mine, you know that right?" He smirked as he began kissing down your neck, his voice muffled by your neck as he kissed and sucked on the exposed skin. You hissed at him while nodding your head in answer to his question.

"I'm all yours Hobi," You confirmed as he continued to attack your neck in kisses, biting and sucking on every bit of skin he could sink his teeth into turning you into a whimpering mess.

"You're not allowed to hang around with him anymore, you're mine." He growled turning you around to look at him, you whimpered, even more, when you stared into his eyes to see they were clouded over. Lust filled eyes as he stared down at you, biting his lip as he pushed you down onto the bed. You watched him from the bed as he looked down at you, biting on his lip as he waited for you to start talking to him.

"He's just a friend," You whispered but he didn't care, he ripped the trousers you were wearing as he tried to get them off you as soon as possible. He was going to do anything and everything he could to make sure everyone knew that you belonged to him, that you were his and his alone.

"Mmm look at you," He hummed as he looked at your exposed core, he ran his fingers up and down your folds as he chuckled to himself the small touches making you whimper. Whenever you and Hoseok had sex it was like he was an entirely new person and you loved it, no one could ever imagine the type of person he would become,

"I'm the only one who makes you dripping wet like this, right angel?" He cooed as he continued to run his fingers through your folds, using his index finger to rub around your clit making you hiss out at the lack of contact he was giving to you.

"Only you," You told him as you bucked up to keep the connection between you,

"So needy and I haven't done anything to you yet," Chuckling darkly he kissed your neck once again, moving his hands away from your heat and unbuttoning the blouse you were wearing. Ripping it open leaving your black bra exposed to him,

"Take it all off, everything." He ordered as he sat down on the edge of the bed, it was now that you noticed he was dressed in nothing but his boxers. Palming himself through his trousers as he watched you get off the bed and slowly begin to strip out of the remaining clothes for him. Kicking them to the other side of the room as you got onto your knees and crawled towards him, running your hand up his thigh as you locked eyes with him.

"Nuh-uh, tonight is about you baby girl." He told you as he pulled you up from the floor and placed you back down onto the bed.

"Shall I bring Yoongi in? Make him watch you as I fuck you?" He smirked up at you as he kisses up your thighs, biting down on your skin softly,

"Maybe I should call him right as your cumming around my fingers and you can let him know who you belong to." Your head was in a whirlwind at all the things he was saying but you shook your head at him,

"Just fuck me," You begged him as you stared down into his eyes pleading with him with the look in your eyes,

"Look at you, moaning and begging for me like the good girl you are," He chuckled coldly as he watched you bucking against his touch. You were desperate for him to touch you even if it was just a small one,

"Please Hobi, need you." You knew how pathetic you probably sounded to him but you didn't care, all you wanted was his hands on your body. All over your body. He smirked looking at you as he used his thumb to circle your clit, pressing two fingers against your hole as he chuckled.

"Are you sure you need me? Tell me what you want me to do, exactly what you want me to do." He stared at you, kissing softly on each thigh as he got dangerously close to your core but never giving you the contact that you desired the most.

"E-Eat me out." You whimpered nervously as you locked eyes with him, you'd always been so nervous about receiving oral but tonight you were dying for it. You knew that when Hoseok was in a mood like this there was no holding back, he would be rough with you and within seconds of you asking his face was buried in your heat. Tongue gliding through your folds as he traced every curve he could delving into your entrance and moaning against you sending vibrations throughout your body.

Moans and whimpers left your body as you cried out his name, he smirked against ou as he felt you clench around his tongue.

"Hobi!" You whimpered running your hands into his hair as you pulled onto his hair pulling him closer to your core as you chased your high. Each lick of his tongue made you cry out louder and louder as our mouth fell open.

"Close! So fucking close!" You hissed out as he continued to assault your core, eating you out roughly,

"Cum for me baby," He mumbled into your core, pushing two fingers into you as he sucked and softly bit down on your clip. Your walls clenched around his fingers as your head rolled back against the bed. Legs shaking as you came around his fingers,

"Y-Yes! Hoseok!" You cried out as you came around him, tears welling up in your eyes as your high faded away quickly from you.

"Fucking love it when you tighten up like that princess...Do you want to do that around my cock? Huh?" He smirked as he kicked off his boxers, rubbing himself in front of you as your mouth watered at the thought of him being inside of you.

"You want me to fuck you full? Stretch you around it?" You nodded desperately as you reached out to touch him but he just rubbed the tip of his cock around your clit. Hissing as he felt you buck against him for more than the small contact he was giving to you.

"Just fuck me already," You hissed at him and he slammed into you making you yelp out and wrap your legs around his waist, he smirked at you as he held himself in place,

"You like that? Nice and rough?" He chuckled as he continued to thrust in and out of you roughly, hitting the right spot with every rough thrust.

"Fuck!" You moaned out as your back arched away from the mattress and you rolled your hand down your body to rub your clit for him. Mind spinning as the orgasm built up once again,

"H-Hobi-" You moans trailed off as you felt yourself getting closer and closer, the build-up getting more and more intense with each thrust of his cock. Your eyes widened as he continued to push into you, getting rougher each time.

"I know princess, let go." He looked into your eyes as he smirked wider at you, watching the way your eyes rolled back as you tried to focus on nothing but the pleasure he was giving to you.

"Fuck." You cried out as you rolled your hips up,

"So fucking pretty stretching around my cock huh? Are you sure I can't show Yoongi?" He leant down as he continued to slam into you, replacing your hand on your clit with his own as he continued to rub you in large rough circles,

"I want him to hear you cry out my name, 'cause you're fucking mine." He grunted as he continued to fuck into you,

"Hoseok!" You screamed out as he hit into the one place that made your eyes water and made your world spin, you went over the edge cumming around him as you screamed out his name. Nails dragging down his arms leaving marks as you clenched around him over again but Hoseok didn't stop. His rough thrusts continued until he came into you, moaning out as he fell down into your neck. Kissing your skin softly as you both panted heavily together.

"You know I didn't mean it right?" Hoseok asked after you'd been laying together in silence for a couple of seconds,

"Didn't mean what?" You mumbled turning to look up at him as you drew small invisible patterns into his skin,

"When I said you couldn't see Yoongi, y-you can do what you want I just-" You kisses his lips as you tried to set his mind at ease a little,

"I know baby, it's okay." You reassured him as you laid back down with your head on his chest just listening to his heart beating as he pulled you closer to him.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @rjsmochii @sw33tnight @bisexualmess007 @innersooya @sweeneyblue1 @jin-from-the-block

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maybe-drawing · 2 years ago

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Inktober 2022: A reflection

This year I did Luna ‘s (who is an amazing artist!! Check them out on Twitter!!) Inktober. Spoiler, I did not do all the days as I got sick halfway through and then just stopped lol. However, it was remarkable good practice and I learned a lot! One might say you can see me improving 👀 It gets better, promise!

Here the full prompt list:

by https://twitter.com/LunaIsAnArtist

1. Sprout

yes this is bdubs fanart, (I’ll do a separate post with the fandom one and tag them there) Also learned about gradient maps!

2. Ladder

I cannot for the life of me figure out how to render stone, and it really shows

3. Glory

I do not dislike this one, however Clip Studio Paint's weird artistic render line feature really stole the show here lol

4. Investigation

Played with gradient maps again. The color is sure something!

5. Rosemary

At this point, I was wondering if a completely lineless painting style was something I even like? And honestly it has its appeals, and I think ill keep playing with it, but I missed having lines.

6. Home

Them <3 @liebesamateur

7. Boots

I love this little buddy!! Look at them!! Lovely!! Also this was when I decided to return to a more painterly lined look for my art again :D

8. Voice

This is one of my absolute favorites!!! The light hello???? also the tiny pumpkin on the hat :D

9. Fragment

Did a study of a lemon and went you know what would be fucked up

10. Ranunculus

this looks so much better than it has any right to!! Indie game vibes hello?!?

11. Moss

Bdubs fanart again, but look at him, he's just a little guy! Very much based on countless designs I’ve seen all over. (if you know the OG lemme know) Certified creature.

12. Worth

I don't like this one... The concept is there, but the execution is sloppy and kinda off-putting. The only thing I kinda like it the blood at the very top opening.

13. Float

I love this very much not anatomically correct baby!!!

14. Poppies

I mean long arms!

15. Zodiac

I’m torn bc on one hand the background is stunning, I love the colors. On the other hand, this would have looked too much better lineless, and the lens sky reflection is just lazy and doesn't fit with the rest of the style.

16. Evolution

GHOST CRAB!! I downloaded some new brushes, and it was just sooo much fun.

17. Meadow

I really like everything except the “flowers”. The clouds and background/foundation is solid, but the weird flower brush is too sharp and it just doesn't work. Also, the colors of the flowers are supposed to be in shade and idk man

18. Examination

Now this one could make more sense, like perspective wise and the highlights are a bit wack. However, it's really cool and I like it a lot. The bluish tint for the glass, the goldish bronze, the background yes!!

19. Reflection

The poses for this kept just not working out. I couldn't get the angles, nothing made sense, so I made them silhouettes! And it works nicely. I like this one. I am kinda starting to overuse that background contrast thingy, but it's fiiiiiinnnne. Also, the curtain??? The red pops so well hello, its just bam, and it deserves to do that.

20. Bullet

It's a bullet train! Get it? Anyway, I really like the burn effect for this one and I wanted to make it a spooky train. One thing I'd improve is how the likes are fading into the smoke, it doesn't look quite right.

22. Bones

This is kinda my burnout point and it shows. The line thickness is all over the place, I didn't work on this very much and just slapped some things on there and put it up. I'd love to draw a proper pile of bones someday, but this wasn't it.

23. Mutation

I do kinda like this one, and I don't have any major complaints. I just remember not really feeling doing Art™ at that time.

29. Wyvern

I sketched this the next day and was so normal about it. Idk if this is really a Wyvern, but it looks cool! I really like the frame and breaking it. It gives a nice break and depth!

#Freddy draws #inktober #inktober 2022 #lunatober 2022 #overall i really had fun #even with the stress of getting very sick and traveling for 2 days straight after recovery #and then walking through a river for 4 hours for class #absolute insane experience I tell you #crossed 3 states in under 24 hours #beware long post #tw blood #tw organs #tw body horror #tw eye horror #tw bones #tw skeleton #my art #original art

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kiame-sama · 4 years ago

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Take my trash! I forget where I put the actual requests for this one, but I have had many from both Wattpad and Tumblr for this next installment of 28 years.

Here you have it, pregnant with Alluka!

Warning; ANGST, mentions of adult themes from 28 years, pregnancy complications, cute moments with infant Killua and Alluka, Killua is the unsung hero we never knew we needed, maternal struggles, lactating

You woke up late at night, feeling your stomach rolling in pain and that feeling of being sick rising up in your throat. You were quick to wiggle out of Silva's relaxed grip and immediately headded directly for the toilet, almost gagging as you went.

To say it was an unpleasant way to wake up would be an understatement, as if you body were rejecting everything you had ever given it. You were faintly aware of the feeling of someone holding your hair away from your face as your poor body shook with great force. Once you finally felt your stomach settle once more you pulled away, feeling a large hand gently rub your back.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know... Just felt so sick so suddenly... You don't think it could be- but I thought I wasn't able to after Killua... And it's so soon after..."

"I doubt you're pregnant again."

"... And if I am?"

"(Y/n), I refuse to lose you for any reason. You almost killed yourself being pregnant with Killua. I don't think your body can honestly handle another pregnancy so soon."

"But..."

"If you are pregnant again, your body will likely reject it or you'll lose the child early on. You know this. You're already in such a delicate state when you're pregnant, adding another one so soon after giving birth would be the worst decision."

"I... You're right. I don't think I can handle it again so soon."

Silva almost seemed pleased at your agreeing with him, grabbing mouthwash for you to get the terrible after-taste out of your mouth. He gently helped you to your feet and held you steady, making sure you were alright minus the sudden sickness.

You didn't want to admit he was right, but you knew it to be true. Your body already tries to reject any pregnancy you have and with how exhausted and beaten you feel after having Killua, you couldn't imagine going through it again immediately after. You would have to do everything you could to cancel the pregnancy early on, before you felt too attached to the life growing inside of you.

A soft whimper came from the room you had been sleeping in just moments ago, hearing the whine develop into an upset cry. All of the noise and movement must have woken Killua from his peaceful sleep. He was only a month old and you still had more time to cherish him before he would be taken away to be trained as your other sons had been.

You made sure to move quietly and gently, lifting the small boy from his crib and cuddling him securely in your arms. His whimpers quieted as you held him, slowly swaying ans humming to the small child to get him settled once more. His bright blue eyes blinked open to look at you as he stopped crying, his soft white hair ruffled slightly and just made him look cuter with his disgruntled expression.

"Shh, little one. You're okay. You look just like your father when you frown like that..."

The infant merely gave a tired grunt and cuddled back down into his swaddling, eyes closing as you carefully returned him to his cradle. Warm arms wrapped around your body and held you close to a firm chest, slightly soothing you. Silva had been surprisingly supportive of your maternal need to care for the infant and had actually started to behave like a father would towards the young child.

You let him lead you back to bed, returning to the warm blankets that seemed extra inviting at that moment. As you settled down once more, Silva's chest at your back as he held you close, you were content to drift off to sleep. That is, until you felt a hand slowly trailing down your front.

"... I swear, Silva. If you're about to try and fuck me right now with our son in the room, you're going to have a bad time."

"It's not like you don't enjoy it."

A sigh of irritation left your lips, feeling his hand slide ever so slightly lower. Enough was enough and you wanted to sleep, so you turned your head and bit down directly on his arm. There was a beat of silence before you heard the softest of laughs rumble from his chest.

"Alright, you've made your point. I'll let you rest... For now."

Releasing his arm from your jaws, you turned back to rest your head against the pillow. You didn't break skin, but you certainly left a clear mark behind on his fair skin. A small bit of pride bubbled up in your chest at your small victory over the white-haired man as you let yourself get pulled back into sleep.

~~~~~~~~

At least two months had passed since your sudden evening sickness and no other signs of pregnancy had occured. Just to be on the safe side, you and Silva both decided to use certain birth controls to ensure you would not be carrying another child. It made you sad to think about at the time, but you knew it was for the best given all that had happened up until that point.

You thought all of those different foul tasting medicines had done their job and you wrote off your absent menstrual cycle as your body still recovering from being pregnant. However, when the second month came and left without your cycle, you were becoming far more concerned. When you brought it up to Silva, he reassured you that there was no possible way you could still be pregnant with all of the different contraceptives you had taken.

Now you were almost certain you were still pregnant, seeing your stomach slightly swell once more. But that shouldn't be possible given how thorough you had been early on to stop the pregnancy. You decided you needed outside opinion on the matter and made up some small excuse about your head hurting and wanting to be checked.

Naturally, Silva didn't question and almost immediately retrieved the kind doctor to check you for anything and everything. She explored every possibility and ruled out almost any kind of illness before she got to your stomach, noting the way your body had been reacting. As a precaution- despite Silva's insistence you were not pregnant- she decided to do an ultrasound of your stomach.

Sure enough, there was a small heartbeat in your body.

"..."

"... How the hell is it still there?"

"I guess all of those contraceptives didn't actually work."

"That's not possible."

"Hm, it would seem the little one disagrees with you."

"We're getting it out of you right now."

"No you damn-well aren't."

"(Y/n)-"

"Clearly the first attempt didn't work. If something is so determined to stay alive that it refuses all efforts to remove it, it should be allowed to live."

"For fuck's sake-"

"N. O. No."

"Damn it, (y/n)-"

"I said 'no' and I meant it!"

Silva let out a highly frustrated and irritated snarl, obviously beyond irritated with the sudden turn of events. Your kind doctor sat in silence as the two of you snapped at each other, trying to go unnoticed given how angry Silva was. The raised voices brought attention to the both of you as Zeno casually strolled into the room, eyebrow raised as he looked between you and Silva.

"What are you two snapping about now?"

"I won't let him get rid of our child."

"Killua is too young to start training."

"I'm not talking about Killua."

"... What?"

Zeno looked to be honestly surprised at your words, trying to make sense of what he was saying as he took in the ultrasound machine near you. The back and forth squabble had apparently woken Killua from his afternoon nap and the sudden entrance of his grandfather made him whine. The complaint from your young son had you moving to stand, only to be stopped by Zeno who picked up the squirming child and gave him to you.

There was certainly a fair part of you that appreciated your father in law, since he tended to take your side whenever an argument came up. He had to qualms about telling his son to be quiet or saying he was being unreasonable when he became too posessive or controlling of you. Not to mention the fact that Zeno had no qualms in telling Silva off or intentionally poking fun at his son on any given day.

"It's too soon for her to go through another pregnancy, especially after carving her stomach open for that brat."

"Well, you aren't wrong. It is probably too soon. (Y/n), what do you make of all of this?"

You hummed, soothing little Killua who lay in your arms and chewed on your fingers in fascination. You knew they were right, but you also knew that you wanted to give it a chance.

"We already tried once to end this pregnancy and that clearly didn't work. Something with a will strong enough to persevere despite any and all attempts to stop it should at least be given a chance."

Zeno nodded and gave a hum of contemplation, narrowing his eyes in thought. As the elder considered everything at hand, Killua decided you weren't paying enough attention to him and let out an ear piercing squeal, holding his hands up to you demandingly. It was hard to say he wasn't absolutely adorable even if he was a demanding and bossy little thing.

"Alright. Keep the child. But, if it begins to have too much strain on your body, it will be removed. Does that sound fair to the both of you?"

You wanted to argue that it was your choice even if you wound up dying, but you knew it would backfire on you, so you simply nodded. Silva also seemed as if he wished to argue before relenting and growling out in annoyance already frustrated due to your denying of his advances with Killua's presence in the room at night. This only added even more time he was unable to take you as he wished, growing increasingly irritated by the day.

~~~~~~~~

The more your stomach swelled, the more you wanted to just cuddle up with your growing family and enjoy the quiet. Silva, though liking your affection with him, still felt frustration gnawing at his mind the longer he spent unable to indugle in his desires. There was little he wanted more than pinning you to the bed and satisfying his growing need for you. He was halfway tempted to do it regardless of the pregnancy or how you felt, but he kept himself contained, counting down the days until he could do as he wished.

There were still days that he was unable to resist holding you close and just feasting on the sweet milk you produced. It was barely enough to tide him over and keep himself from jumping you.

The words that would best describe his behavior was a tiger in a cage, anxiously pacing and growling out his frustration. You almost wondered what was in store for you as soon as you were finally without child. Some part of you hoped he would be merciful, but you also figured that would never happen, especially with how pent up he would be come the end.

The gentle heat that came from Silva helped you relax as you rest your head against his chest, Killua was napping and you almost felt like you wanted to do the same. Silva's large hands gently supported your swollen stomach and took the pressure off of your back, allowing you to cuddle close to the intimidating man. His gaze seemed distant as he stared down at your stomach, callused hands gently sliding over your soft skin.

His eyes suddenly moved from where they were resting to look at you with a raise eyebrow, making a small squeak of surprise escape your lips. A slight smirk pulled at his lips, one of his hands gently resting on the back of your neck as he pulled you into a deep kiss. A soft whimper whined from your throat as he slid his tongue in between your lips.

You pulled away from the intense kiss, panting lightly from the sudden show of affection. His blue eyes seemed almost hazed with need as you found yourself pinned beneath him on the plush couch. Your heart thundered in your chest as you pressed back against him, turning your head to the side.

"Stop, Silva!"

"I don't think you can make me."

"Stop it!"

He seemed like he was lost in whatever haze had been taking over his mind before a sudden shrill screech broke him out of his lustfilled gaze. You turned your head to look back at where the noise had originated, stunned to see Killua standing at the doorway, holding onto the door-frame. Somehow he must have gotten out of his crib and opened the door to get to where he now stood.

You were amazed that this child, this infant, was not only able to escape his crib, but was currently standing and staring at the two of you. Silva seemed to regain control of himself as he moved away, letting you get up from where you had been pinned to the couch. The moment you sat up, your little five month old walked to you as if it were the most normal thing on the planet.

Typically, infants began trying to walk at around 7-8 months old, and even then they would need something to hold onto in order to balance properly. Not this kid apparently. If there were ever a sign your little Killua was different from other children, it would be this.

As he reached your side, he held up his arms in a demanding way towards you, clearly wanting to be picked up.

He gurgled at you and started chewing on his fist, watching you closely. You were about to say something as Silva jealously wrapped an arm around you only for Killua let out another screech. You wanted to smile as Killua clearly did not like it when Silva touched you, already showing how much he favored you over his father.

You silently thanked the child, pleased that he had snapped Silva out of his aggressive and forceful behavior. At least you knew your children were on your side.

~~~~~~~~

It was a month before your due-date but Silva was already stressing. He would pace and constantly check in on you, making sure to have any and all possibilities in mind. There would be absolutely no repeat of your prior pregnancy and he was determined to not leave your side for a single moment.

He had taken to pacing around you at almost all hours other than the the ones he spent holding you in his arms. Nothing seemed to be able to soothe him and you found yourself speaking softly to him and telling him everything was alright even though you were the pregnant one.

At least you had some semi-stable company, Zeno sitting with you and watching his son pace as you absently listened to the large television and whatever was on it. You were surprisingly comfortable despite everything that had been going on. Today was the day your eight-month old was being taken away.

You were upset with how early it was and Silva himself almost tried to stop his father from coming to collect the child. Though it saddened you, you also knew that it would be hard to deal with your final month of pregnancy and take care of your eight-month old child at the same time. Besides, Zeno wanted to start training Killua earlier than the others given how quickly the child picked up walking and language comprehension.

At least Zeno decided to stay with you for a few hours instead of just taking Killua away, letting you adjust to the idea of your son leaving your side. You were thankful for the few extra moments with your son, content to sit and relax among the other family members.

A faint uncomfortable feeling hummed in your mind, making you frown and try to move around to a more comfortable position. But no matter where you moved and no matter how you tried to settle back down, that annoying feeling persisted. Unfortunately, Silva seemed hyper aware of every move you made, so when you slightly winced from the growing irritation in your body, he was by your side immediately.

"Tell me how you're feeling, you don't seem all that comfortable right now."

"I'm fine, just a bit tired..."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah. I'm certain. Still at least a month away from my expected date, so we have-"

You cut off, feeling that small ache turn into a sharp pinch that suddenly stabbed at you, like a needle being jabbed into a water balloon. You practically felt all of the color drain from your face as you suddenly rest your hand on your stomach.

"... Silva?"

"Yes?"

"I think I need to see a doctor now."

"Wait, why-?"

"RIGHT NOW, SILVA."

The sudden urgency in your voice spurred both men into action. Zeno quickly moving from his seated position, setting Killua aside in the small play-pen before helping you to lay back against the couch. Silva was out the door seconds after the words left your lips, racing off to round up anyone and everyone you would need.

You figured he wouldn't take you with him and would just lead the doctors to you since there were so many things that could go wrong, he didn't want to risk moving you. It was still so early, so why did your water break so suddenly?

~~~~~~~~

You were exhausted and wanted little more than to sleep after a long eighteen hours of being in labor. Eventually, after the immense pain you were in, doctors decided that you would need to have a c-section to ensure both your safety and the safety of the infant. Why they didn't come to this conclusion earlier even though you had Killua in a similar way, you didn't know.

At least you were able to rest now. You partially wanted to stay awake to be able to hold your newborn, but thee fact of the matter was, the child was born prematurely. Naturally, all sorts of precautions had to be taken to ensure that your newborn would live, so you didn't argue too much. You'd rather your baby be safe even if you weren't allowed to hold them.

"Any thoughts about names?"

Your gaze slowly drifted over to the location of the voice, seeing Zeno looking up at Silva, hands behind his back. He likely thought you were already asleep, given the ordeal you had just gone through. Silva hadn't named any of your children up until that point so you wondered what he would respond with, if he responded at all.

"No idea."

"Come on, Silva, you must have at least one name in mind."

"... Alluka?"

"That's the first time you've come up with a semi-decent name."

You let out a tired chuckle, appreciating the flat tone Zeno used whenever chastising Silva. A large hand gently held your own and you tiredly turned your head to look at Silva, who gently kissed the back of your hand, all previous conversation forgotten. For a moment, you hoped things were going to be alright, and you let yourself drift to sleep with Silva's deep baritone voice as your lullaby.

~~~~~~~~

Several months had passed being allowed to croon and fuss over the infant, adoring the black-haired, blue-eyed child. It seemed as if your sweet Alluka never ran out of energy and always had a smile no matter what. Only rarely did the infant ever cry and was easy to soothe the few times it happened.

Silva wanted little to do with the newborn, but still entertained any time his darling asked questions or spoke in such a cheerful tone. At least she was alright. If anything, she seemed to be better than alright.

Silva watched as his darling angel fell asleep, her body curled on the couch around the mass of blankets where the infant slept. He was getting tired of sharing his (y/n) with the infant and frustrated with how often (y/n) pushed away his advances. He was her husband, he should have the right to all of her attention and not be forced to share her with anyone.

It was still early on, but Silva figured she had enough time with the parasite and she would get over her sorrow if he took it away.

He silently slipped his hands beneath the sleeping infant, lifting it away from the curled up woman who peacefully slept. Moving silently, Silva left the cluster of rooms with the infant in his arms.

~~~~~~~~

Slowly waking up, you moved carefully to not disturb the child in your arms, turning your head to look at the mass of blankets. Your heart made a hollow thump when you saw the empty space your baby once lay in.

In seconds, you were on your feet, searching through every room for any sign of your lost infant. How could your little one wander off without you noticing? You turned over every piece of furniture, every blanket in the rooms, searched every corner, but there was still no sign of your lost infant.

You stood in the middle of the main room, arms wrapped around yourself as you desperately sucked down breaths as your chest tightened up. You felt like you couldn't breathe and your panicked gasps became wheezing and strained, evolving into what was a continuous crying wail of pain and desperation.

You heard the door open suddenly, but it did nothing to stop or distract you from your long mournful cry. You held your arms close to your body and your voice hitched with every small breath you took, feeling as if the world were falling out from underneath you. Large hands gripped your shoulders, one coming up to grip your chin and tilt your head back, only straining your already shallow breaths.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?"

"..."

"(Y/n), tell me what is wrong."

"..."

"Damn it, say something!"

"You took Alluka, didn't you?"

"... (Y/n)-"

"You took my baby!"

Though he said nothing further, only allowing his grip on you to go slack. You knew you were right. You knew he had taken your child from you while you were resting. You felt your breathing become even more strained as you gripped your chest over your heart, feeling your body swaying and shaking. An old voice reached your ears, but it did not soothe you, nothing but the soft babbling of your child would be able to.

"Silva, what on earth-? Ah, I see she isn't too pleased about Alluka."

"He took my baby..!"

"Wait, did you not know the child was leaving today?"

"He told me nothing...! He took my Alluka while I was sleeping..!"

"Silva, you told me she was okay with you taking him!"

"He told me nothing..!"

Your shaking had not stopped, if anything it only became more intense and your breathing more unstable. It felt like your heart was desperately working to beat and keep you alive, but it felt like it was being crushed by the muscles around it. You heard Zeno say something more to Silva, but you couldn't make out the words, feeling like all of your senses were leaving you.

"..?"

"(Y/n)..?"

You don't know when your legs gave out beneath you, but in seconds you were falling, barely able to see through your own eyes. It was as if you were fading away, but you didn't know why. There was no sound beyond that of your tiny shallow breaths before those too faded away into the empty void.

~~~~~~~~

"What did I tell you about taking her children away from her!?"

Silva just glared out of the corner of his eyes at his father, not saying anything in response. For a moment, it looked like Zeno was about to say something before his attention suddenly snapped over to (y/n), who had been quietly sobbing. Silva also looked back at his wife, his eyes widening slightly when he saw just how pale she had become, as if the blood under her skin had gone still.

"(Y/n)..? (Y/n)?"

Silva softly called out to the woman, trying to rouse her from whatever it was that had made her look so lifeless. Then he realized something, she was barely breathing. Her tired eyes gazed at a far away place before her body lurched and began to fall backwards. He was quick to catch her before she hit the ground, but something was wrong.

His angel's eyes had closed and her breathing had ceased. He checked her pulse only to realize there wasn't one, her heart wasn't beating. He didn't think, he simply just acted, beginning to put pressure on her fragile rib cage. Each steady and rapid pulse of pressure made her body slightly react as he desperately worked to get her heart beating again.

He wanted to scream in frustration each time she didn't revive before an arm began pulling him back, other hands reaching out for his angel. He fought against the firm grip as more hands seemed to join the first, forcefully pulling him away from his love. He fought to break free and was snarling in rage the closer those hands got to his darling, not wanting them to touch her soft skin.

A firm pressure on the back of his neck slowed his movements before stopping them all together, his eyes still staring and hand still reaching desperately out to his darling as his vision went black.

~~~~~~~~

"Well, this is just one big cluster fuck."

Maha growled out as he looked between the unconcious family. Luckily, it didn't take long for doctors to get (y/n)'s heart beating again despite the heart-attack she had endured as a result of her infant being stolen. Silva was still in a deep unconscious state from the forceful suppression of his nen. The both of them lay on the same cot in their unaware states, as Zeno and Maha knew the uproar Silva would cause if he woke without his darling (y/n) by his side. Alluka lay in peaceful slumber in his mother's arms, swaddled carefully and securely.

Zeno was still furious with Silva for not only taking the child away too early for the second time, but for doing so without (y/n)'s knowledge. But that fury was surprisingly outweighed by the pity he felt for his son. The sheer broken and miserable cries Silva had let out were not only a foreign noise, but one Zeno had never heard from his son before. It was like everything in the world had shattered into tiny fragments, leaving behind a broken and empty shell of his son.

He would never admit it to anyone, or even bring it up around Silva, but he saw true tears of agony in his son's bright blue eyes. He had seen Silva in a frazzled state, in a despondent state, and even a mournful state, but he had never seen such a shattered spirit like what he saw in Silva. As if every passing second (y/n) did not draw breath was pulling more and more of Silva away each time.

The man he had trained to be a ruthless and cold assassin crumbled into a terrified and lost soul. So filled with pain, so filled with agony, even he would not wish it upon his worst enemy. To see his son- a strong and steady man- crumble away into a broken shell so quickly was something that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

He would say that Silva brought it upon himself with the actions he had taken, but even that would be unfair. There is little more unsettling or sad than seeing someone with such a strong will become no more than a fragile whimpering shell.

Silva was the first to stir from his unaware state, his eyes were empty and dull. He truly seemed as if all the life in him had been ripped out like the stuffing of a toy. As his gaze slowly drifted, there was a sudden revitalization of energy when he saw (y/n) laying next to him.

He immediately had his hand upon her neck, checking for the pulse he feared wouldn't be there. As if a great weight had been lifted from his chest, he let out a long sigh of relief the second he found the soft pulse. He didn't seem to realize that he had an audience, merely enraptured with the moment.

He protectively wrapped his arms around both his darling lover and his young infant, holding them close and refusing to let either go. (Y/n)'s vacant expression became a vague smile as she slowly seemed to curl into Silva's arms, holding her baby between them protectively.

Zeno would deal with his son and the clear poor decision making later, for now he let the family rest in quiet comfort together.

At least they were all still alive. That, he could work with.

#x reader #yandere #female reader #yandere x reader #fem reader #reader insert #silva #yandere silva #yandere silva x reader #tw yandere #tw pregnancy

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meanids · 4 years ago

Text

Missing you

My secret Santa recipient was @moonlightstar64 !!! I saw you liked Mari being the bio!sibling of one of the Batfam, so I got a bit carried away with this big brother Jason fic, I hope you enjoy it!!! (Part 2 of the gift is here)

@maribat-secret-santa-2020

Jason tapped his foot impatiently on the floor, and gave another over dramatic sigh, which gained multiple glares from his siblings. They were meant to be visiting the Marché de Noël at Notre Dame to do a bit of christmas shopping and get food, and he was starving.

But for some god forsaken reason his brothers were taking ages to get ready, and he was sick of waiting for them. He opened his mouth to give another complaint when Alfred cut him off, sending him a stern glare.

“If you cannot wait any longer Master Jason, I suggest you go on ahead and get something to eat and stop fussing. We will be along shortly.” It didn’t take much else for Jason to get the message, Alfred had had enough of his impatience and wanted him out.

With one short glare at the rest of his (incredibly slow) family, Jason turned and left the hotel, determined to make the walk to the market as quick as possible. It had just begun snowing again, and the sunlight was quickly disappearing, giving the streets of Paris a magical feel.

He would never admit it straight up, but he was actually enjoying the forced family vacation, even if his family infuriated him sometimes. It was the first year he’d ever actually accepted the invitation to join them, and despite all his worries, it’d been going surprisingly well.

The tradition to have a Christmas vacation had started a few years ago, when Alfred had decided that he’d had enough of missed Christmas dinners and that the whole family deserved to enjoy a holiday. Alfred had determined that the best way to fully remove the temptations of working over Christmas, would simply be to forcibly take Bruce out of Gotham altogether. Of course Bruce put up a fuss, and so did the rest of their workaholic family, but there was no fighting Alfred sometimes.

It didn’t stop most of them from bringing cases to work on, but it still gave them all a much needed break, as well as a whole lot of unspoilt ‘family bonding time’. Every year the location of the holiday changed, and this year Paris was decided on. As he walked along the streets, admiring how the strings of christmas lights glistened off the snow, he was glad he’d agreed to come this year.

He really was hungry though, and despite being so close to the market, he couldn’t wait to eat any longer. He spotted a small sign up ahead for a boulangerie patisserie, and the delicious smells and warm glow coming from inside, were enough to tempt Jason in.

As soon as he stepped in, his eyes darted straight to the display case, so distracted by his hunger that he almost didn’t notice how the shop assistance’s greeting abruptly cut off with a gasp.

Jason looked up to see what had caused their reaction, only to stop short himself, as his eyes landed on a girl with two familiar pigtails, who’s watering blue eyes were currently locked on him in shock.

“Jason?”

Marinette had never thought she would see Jason again. Not since she was 11 and saw the headline that had torn her heart in two, the one that had crushed all her hopes of one day being reunited with her brother.

When she was younger, freshly adopted and living in her new home in Paris, he was all she would ever talk about. Her parents would listen with a fond grin as she babbled on in broken french about how cool Jason was, and how much he would love it here, especially the food.

They had been separated after their mother had died, sent to different care homes despite all their protests. When her new parents had discovered that she had a brother, they had tried looking for him, only to find out Jason had run away a few weeks prior. Marinette had been heartbroken, but she knew deep down that Jason was looking for her, and one day they would see each other again.

Marinette had been a logical kid though, so she understood that the chance of Jason finding her in France, was extremely low. At best, Jason would be found and adopted by loving parents who would help him find her (which, knowing Gotham, was very unlikely), and at worst, he would have to wait until he was eighteen to look for her himself. She never even considered the possibility that he wouldn’t make it to eighteen.

Jason was a survivor. He was brave, kind, and always always looked out for her. Her mother had tried her best to take care of them both, Marinette knew that, but most of the time it was Jason looking after both of them. Jason had told her that she’d been the best Mom, before she got ill, and before their dad had made it worse, but Marinette was too young to remember the before.

All Marinette could remember was Jason. Jason was the one who cooked most nights, the one who made sure she was in bed on time, the one who got her ready for school each morning. He’d always try and protect her when their dad was in one of his moods, and always patched her up afterwards, no matter how much worse off he was.

No matter how bad some of her memories of Gotham were, Marinette didn’t want to forget Jason. So she did whatever she could to remember him. She told all her new friends about him, and insisted that her parents learnt how to make all his favourite foods.

She even kept her hair in the exact same style that Jason had always put it in. She’d used to complain that all the other girls had their hair in pretty styles, whilst hers was always boring and let down, so Jason had learnt how to do her hair. Granted, the only style he could do neatly were pigtails, but it was still better than nothing.

Every morning they would sit down, and Jason would brush her hair, making up grand tales for her whilst she sat quietly in awe. Those mornings were some of Marinette’s most cherished memories, so to make sure she never forgot, she got her Maman to teach her how to do them herself.

She wore them everyday, without fail, and would proudly tell anyone who commented on them, that it was for her brother. Marinette secretly hoped that it would also help Jason to recognise her when they were finally reunited.

It was also a habit for Marinette to watch the Gotham news every day. She still missed her old home despite how dangerous and corrupt it was, and watching it was a comfort, a way to keep in touch with her roots.

It was also how she found out that the adopted son of Bruce Wayne was killed in an explosion. She’d only been half paying attention, working on her homework whilst she waited for her parents to cook dinner, when she suddenly heard her brother’s name mentioned.

Her world had stopped as a picture of her brother, looking healthy and older in the arms of Bruce Wayne, was displayed on screen, with the newsreader calmly announcing his tragic death alongside it.

Marinette had been inconsolable for weeks, no amount of reassurance from her parents able to stop her tears. She spent days going through news articles, reading anything that mentioned her brother, saving every photo she could.

It hurt knowing that if she’d just paid more attention to Gotham, searched for her brother properly rather than just sit by and wait, she could’ve found him. Could’ve talked to him, let him meet her new family, meet his new family.

But now none of that was possible. Because he was dead and nothing could change that.

Marinette stopped watching Gothams news after that. She stopped talking about him because it hurt too much. She didn’t even tell Tikki at first, only telling her after she noticed the picture of him pinned to the wall next to her bed.

But despite how much the memories hurt now, Marinette still clung to them. The memories were the only things she had left of him, and even though it hurt too much to talk about, she didn’t want to pretend he didn’t ever exist.

So, even though she got teased for it being too childish, and even though it still stung to remember, she kept her hair in pigtails. A small reminder to herself to never forget, and to hold the good memories close.

Life had moved on, and even though Marinette still missed her brother, the pain wasn’t so raw anymore, feeling more like a dull ache rather than a bleeding wound. Still, Marinette always felt worse around the holidays, and liked to keep busy rather than dwell on the thought that Jason should be here, enjoying life, too.

The bakery was always hectic around the holidays, and gave Marinette the perfect excuse to busy herself and help out, often manning the till to give her parents a break.

It had been a miraculously quiet afternoon, which Marinette attributed to the local market, and she’d been doodling on a napkin when the bell chimed, indicating a customer. She’d straightened quickly, automatically greeting the customer, before she looked up and immediately froze.

Because standing in front of her, was what should’ve been a dead man. He looked older, as if he’d actually aged the last five years. She could see scars that weren’t there before, and his hair looked different, a streak of white in the front, but no matter all the changes, she was certain that was him.

That was Jason.

“Jay?”

She barely registered that she’d spoken, and her suspicions were confirmed when the man looked up in wide eyed shock. The tears that were forming in her eyes began to overflow as he replied, the Gotham accent as strong as ever.

“Nette?”

That was all it took for Marinette’s restraint to break, and she practically jumped the counter in her rush to get to him, to prove to herself that he was really there, and not just some akuma trick. But an akuma wouldn’t show her Jason all grown up, and he wouldn’t just be standing there looking like he was the one who’d just seen a ghost.

As soon as she was close enough, she threw herself at him, and clung on to him for dear life. Only a moment later she felt strong arms return the embrace, just as hard. She felt a million different emotions all buzzing through her head at once, but the clearest feeling of all was the pure relief.

She didn’t know how or why he was back and apparently alive, but at this moment, she did not care. Her brother was back, and he was here, and she was never gonna let him go.

“Never do that again,” she managed to choke out, her words muffled by how her face was pressed into Jason’s chest. “I don’t want to lose you ever again.”

Jason’s own words were almost just as tearful when he replied, pulling her closer as he did.

“I promise. I’ll never leave again.”

#maribat #maribat secret santa #dc x mlb #miraculous x dc #mlb x dc #platonic jasonette #my art #my fic

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years ago

Text

richboy!yeosang (part 2)

word count: 5k

fluff, smut (tw: mentions of abortion)

(part 1) (miniseries masterlist)

“did you just puke again?”

you look up at yunho from your spot on the couch, bags under your extremely unamused eyes as you nod your head lazily.

you warned him not to come over in the first place today, that you didn’t wanna get him or mingi sick since you’ve spent the past few days still vomiting and feeling like shit.

but he insisted, not wanting you to spend the day alone and cooking for yourself when you didn’t feel your best.

yeosang had stayed home with you for two days but had to get back to his classes, you all but forcing him out of bed in the early morning hours this week.

“yes,” you whine, a pout on your face as he smooths down your messy hair. “which is why you shouldn’t be here!”

he only rolls his eyes as he fixes the blanket over you, claiming he’s immune to all illness before tucking you in like a child and going off to the kitchen to check on the soup he’s making.

you let out a sigh as you hear yunho humming softly, sprawling out on the couch and stretching your aching bones. you thought for sure you had some sort of stomach flu, a slight fever and vomiting along with just pain all over.

but it’s been almost a full week now of waking up and feeling like this, irritation starting to settle in because it feels like you’re never gonna get better.

it makes it even more frustrating that, in the mid-afternoon and nighttime, it seems as if you’re getting better, just for everything to start all over again.

“that’s odd,” yunho hums softly when you tell him that, carrying your bowl of soup and a package of crackers that makes you hold back a smile.

he side-eyes you when he sees your lips twitching, flicking your head gently and gesturing at the food he just cooked for you.

“have you gone to the doctor?”

“you know they freak me out,” you mutter, slurping the soup and humming when the warm broth hits your tongue; if there’s one thing you learned about yunho over these college years, it’s that he’s a great cook.

“this is good.”

“thanks,” he smiles softly, watching closely as you slurp down the broth.

this is a meal he makes for mingi every time the boy isn’t feeling well and, while he knows his boyfriend is secretly wimpier than you, he always looks more...sickly.

pale and sleepy and barely able to lift the spoon into his mouth; but then again, it could be his fiancé being a baby and wanting to be doted on.

“that made me feel better,” you smile happily, getting up from the couch slowly to wash your bowl and spoon before yunho can.

the boy notices and narrows his eyes, following you into the kitchen quickly and leaning against the counter.

“you know, it’s weird that it’s only in the morning,” yunho says inquisitively, “and that yeosang didn’t get it in that first twenty four hours.”

“i know, right, i was thinking the same thing,” you admit, dapping the sponge with dish soap as you clean out your dishes.

“maybe it’s some kind of, like, food poisoning? me and yeosang got that sushi place a few nights before this all-”

your apartment door opening causes you to peek out into the hallway, a tall and annoyed mingi making his way to you; the boy seems even more disappointed when he smells the familiar scent of yunho’s soup.

“did you save some for me?”

“are you sick?” yunho asks, smiling softly when mingi pokes him in the arm. “what happened? why do you look so annoyed?”

“because halloween isn’t for another week and people are already coming into the bars dressed up and shit. if i had to serve one more person covered in a poorly cut white sheet, i was gonna scream.”

you and yunho side eye each other with a smirk, one of mingi’s many complaints about being a part-time bartender the amount of sociable people. but the job works for him despite his less than amused attitude, his withdrawn, mysterious personality and handsome face responsible for his hefty tips.

“what are you guys gonna be? pirates again?” you ask, a wide cheeky grin on your face; for the past three halloweens, they haven’t strayed from their favorite costumes.

“pirates again,” mingi mocks immaturely, his head turning toward you before he does a double take. his hand on your face causes you to stop washing your spoon, eyebrows pulled together as you look at him in confusion.

“what?”

“you look weird,” mingi says bluntly, turning your face side to side. your mouth drops open as yunho smacks him in the arm, coming to your defense and saying that you’ve been sick for the past few days.

“yeah, you asshole! i’ve been puking my guts out all morning, excuse me for not looking my best.”

“even more reason for you to go to the doctor,” yunho chimes in quietly, the icy look you throw his way causing him to smile sweetly.

“but i start to feel fine by the afternoons,” you whine, pulling your face out of mingi’s grasp belligerently. “i have a feeling they won’t even help me.”

“you still have to go, babe,” yunho says softly, running his hand through your hair gently. “that doesn’t sound normal. especially since it’s almost been an entire week.”

you let a sigh as you turn off the sink, wiping your hands on your pants before promptly (and immaturely) stomping back to the couch. it’s in your pursuit to throw yourself back down on the cushions that mingi grabs you before you can, gazing down at you with a wide-eyed expression.

“what?” you whine again, the slightest hint of exasperation in your tone; he’s starting to freak you out.

“has yeosang gotten sick?”

you shake your head.

“and it’s only in the morning?”

a confused nod.

“and you’re just nauseous and puking?

another confused nod, about to ask him what the hell he’s on about before his next question causes your stomach to drop.

“is your period late?”

the question makes you still and you’re faintly aware of yunho’s choked gasp in the background, thinking back to the last time you had your period.

you wrack your brain for the answer but can’t quite remember, pushing down the panic that’s threatening to rise as you start to piece things together.

your skin’s been clear, you haven’t had cramps, your boobs don’t hurt... but even so, that wouldn’t be possible, right?

you’ve been on birth control since high school. there’s no way that’s why your period is late, school just started up and work is stressful.

you’ve been stressed since summer ended, not used to the new routine of life.

there’s no way that the 99.9% effectiveness rate is gonna fail you out of everyone in the world. especially when you’re pretty good about taking it, when you take it everyday around the same-

“holy fuck. it’s late, isn’t it?”

“mingi, shut up! she looks like she’s about to puke again.”

you don’t even realize that you’re panicking until you look up at them and see them watching you carefully, yunho soft and sympathetic while mingi is shocked and almost disturbed.

“i-it’s because i’m stressed,” you say, voice sounding like you’re on the brink of a mental breakdown; the denial and hope is all too evident.

“i have a lot more assignments now for school and work’s been crazy. i’m just stressed and i’m... i can’t be-”

“the pill isn’t always effective, y/n...” yunho says gently, his voice soothing and sweet but doing nothing to calm you.

“yes it is,” you squeak, your eyes wide and hands shaking as you watch the two giant boys looking down at you. “i-it’s 99.9%...”

“they say it’s probably only 91% effective...” mingi says, yunho letting out a scoff as he drags mingi back against his body.

“you’re not helping at all,” he growls lowly in his fiancé’s ear, the dark-haired boy turning around and looking over his face.

“she has morning sickness, yunho, how could this not be-”

“it’s not morning sickness! i can’t be pregnant!”

the thought didn’t even cross your mind, not in the slightest. why would it? you’ve been safe and careful and actively trying to prevent this.

“y/n, it’s okay,” yunho says, making his way over to you slowly.

your heart starts to pound and tears are threatening to burn the back of your eyes, shaking your head frantically as you look between the two boys.

“why is it late? i didn’t- i didn’t even notice. or think about that. oh, my god.”

you throw your head in your hands and yunho’s quick to plop down beside you, putting his arm around you gently before pulling you into him.

he breathes quiet reassurances into your ear for a few silent moments, his scent clean and nice and you try to focus on it surrounding your nose and calming you.

but it does nothing of the sort.

because yeosang’s scent is always the thing to calm you, sweet and familiar and reminiscent of your home that’s mixed with whatever festive candle is burning at the time.

but what would yeosang think about this current situation, knowing that you’re really entertaining the idea that you might be pregnant with his child?

“what would yeosang say?” you blurt out, your head snapping to see mingi now a few feet away from you.

you’re suddenly consumed by how fucking eerie this all is, just a little over a month ago talking with yeosang about your future kids. but he had made it clear it was far into the future, the same way you did.

you never ever thought the future would be only weeks later.

“he said he wanted kids in the future. but the future future! we even said you guys would have kids before us and would need a lot of practice! holyfuck, no. i can’t be pregnant, i can’t be-”

“y/n.”

mingi’s knelt between your legs before you can pass out from lack of air, his face relaxed and eyes looking up at you softly. you swallow the lump in your throat as he exaggerates his breathing, in and out, as he rests his hands on your knees.

“mingi, i can’t. what if i’m actually-”

“stop.”

his voice is deep and gruff as he shakes his head, ignoring yunho’s gaze piercing into his face. your eyes start to well up with tears the more he looks at you, the sympathy in his gaze making you even more uneasy.

“mingi,” you whine but he only shakes his head again, squeezing your knee as he begins to talk.

“we’ll go get a test, okay? all three of us. together.”

“and what if it’s-”

“we’ll deal with whatever result when it happens. but for now, we gotta figure it out first.”

mingi can see the fear behind your eyes so he rubs his hand over your knee soothingly, eventually helping you up and out of the house with yunho.

there’s a slightly tense silence as you guys walk down the block to the nearest pharmacy, trapped between the two boys who bump your arms and occasionally graze your hand affectionately.

you looked over the tests in a daze, your shaky hand reaching to pick out a pack of five as you tried to brace yourself for whatever the result was gonna be.

“i can’t do it.”

“you have to, y/n. how else are we gonna know?” mingi asks you through the door an hour later, the white stick in your hand as you try to force yourself to pee on it.

it’s one thing to pee in a cup at the doctor to make sure all is well but doing it to find out if your life is about to change forever? that’s a lot more daunting to do, let alone on five of them.

“just do one first, then we can go from there,” yunho says gently, his kind, soft-spoken voice not even helping you at this point.

“i can’t!” you cry out, tears pricking your eyes as the white test wobbles in your hand.

“you gotta try, babe,” yunho says softly, mingi biting his tongue as he resists the urge to stomp in there and demand to help; his fiancé must know it too, if the chastising look he throws his way tells him anything.

“she’s scared, mingi,” yunho mumbles softly, squeezing his fiance’s arm affectionately.

it’s one of the many, subtle ways he’s learned to calm mingi down over the years, whether it be when the boy is an anxious fit or ready to bite someone’s head off.

“i know she is but she could not be pregnant,” the tall boy rationalizes, placing his hand atop yunho’s absentmindedly. “so she’s just freaking herself out for nothing.”

“you’d freak out too if you thought you were pregnant.”

“okay, well no shit,” mingi deadpans, a laugh bubbling from yunho that has a smile lighting up the usual grouchy boy’s face.

“why are you guys laughing!” you yelp, whipping open the door to reveal yourself with tears brimming in your eyes. “this is no laughing matter!”

“can you just piss already?” mingi asks snippily, yunho pinching his arm and mumbling for him to get you some water before looking at you encouragingly.

his hands cup your face gently, eyes soft and sympathetic as he looks you over.

“i know you’re scared, y/n, but the quicker you can go, the quicker you’ll have the results and know for sure.”

“yunho, if i’m pregnant, what am i gonna-”

“then you’re pregnant and we’ll figure out what to do next,” he says with finality, his thumbs stroking over your cheek gently. “but you could also not be pregnant and just be stressed with everything, like you said. we won’t know until you pee.”

you let out a noise between a huff and a laugh, looking at him with a frown before taking a deep breath and braving the bathroom once again.

it takes you a few moments, getting the urge to urinate as you place the stick between your legs but eventually, you have it in the sink and you’re gripping the counter tightly.

never ever did you think in a million years you’d be in this situation during your junior year of college, hunched over a sink in your ritzy, city apartment waiting for the results of a pregnancy test.

you have to imagine yeosang never pictured this either, the kids he planned to have in his adult years way after college coming to him nearly 10 years early.

tears burn your eyes as you picture telling him, lucky to not have the financial burden of raising a child but instead...everything else. the way one’s life and relationships and mindsets truly change after becoming a parent.

using the word parent to describe you and yeosang doesn’t even sound right.

how are you supposed to do this? tell him and think it over and make decisions about this when most days, you two can’t even decide what you wanna eat.

you both still have so much left to do with your young adult lives, finishing school and getting jobs and maybe traveling to the top ten countries you guys decided one night at two a.m.

could you do all of it with a baby? could you guys survive it at all? is this something yeosang would even consider despite being-

“y/n? did you do it?” yunho’s soft voice calls, the eerie silence within the bathroom making the two giant boys panic right outside.

they get their answer when you open the door and stare at them with a terrified expression, wide eyes and a wobbling lip that immediately causes mingi to pull you into him.

you crumble against him as you bury your face in his broad chest, only slightly aware of yunho petting the top of your head calmingly.

the apartment is silent despite the honks and bustle of the city outside, all three of you breathing slowly and calmly as you inhale the smell of mingi and yunho’s combined scents; you think it has something to do with them sharing clothes more often than not.

the silence is broken when you three hear a beep from a few feet away, your head snapping up and back toward the bathroom as mingi mumbles a low “shit.”

yunho sneers at him before walking over to you, giving you a knowing look as tears well up in your eyes.

“it’s okay,” the dark haired boy promises, firmly believing that no matter what the result is, it’ll all eventually be okay.

“you look first,” you beg, voice barely above a whisper.

you can’t bring yourself to look at it yet, knowing that there’s a 50% chance your life is about to drastically change.

you need the last few moments of pure panic before you either become so relieved and overwhelmed with gratitude or start to panic 100 times more.

“are you sure?” yunho asks apprehensively, now feeling a bit of fear pull in his own gut.

“positive,” you say, your face falling just as mingi snorts, “it might be.”

“mingi,” yunho mumbles warningly just as you snap your head in his direction.

the death glare you send his way nearly makes him smile, if the mood wasn’t so tense and yunho wasn’t glaring at him and you weren’t four seconds away from finding out if a fetus is about to start growing inside you.

“please look before i start to puke again.”

yunho looks over your face one more time before letting out a sigh, walking into the bathroom and looking down at the white stick in the sink.

he feels his heart drop into his stomach immediately, tightening his hold on the marble countertop as he swallows. mingi notices the way his adams apple bobs and feels his own eyes widening, squeezing past you as you watch the scene unfold in front of you.

mingi places his hand on yunho’s arm as he peers over the boy’s shoulder, a gasp leaving his mouth that immediately causes tears to spring to your eyes.

and it’s when your best friend looks at you with a flood of different emotions swirling in his eyes, you already know what the result is.

the same result as the other four tests you took afterward, a total of five positive pregnancy tests right there in your bathroom sink.

you’re not sure how long you cried into your hands as you slumped onto the couch, sobs wracking your body and shaking as you tried to come to terms with it.

because the prospect of your life changing wasn’t the only scary thing, yeosang’s reaction and your parents wasn’t the only scary thing; the journey of the pregnancy itself was fucking terrifying.

watching and feeling your body change and going through an ordeal every woman describes as something so incredibly painful. you’d already been puking and having body ache thus far, and you know things are only gonna get worse.

even after your cries eventually stop, your face red and eyes sore and nose full of wet snot, the boys next to you are still silent. you almost think they expected the results to be negative, not to go back and check again and again and again for the two tiny pink lines displayed on the screen.

“i’m scared.”

it’s the first thing you say to break the silence after god knows how long, mingi looking to you just as yunho reaches out and holds your hand in his. they were lost in their own little world too, wondering how you’re gonna handle going through this and what yeosang’s response will be.

they know he loves you and will be by your side no matter what but it’s still a hard situation to grasp. being young and scared and faced with the challenges an accidental pregnancy creates.

“what are you gonna do?” mingi asks softly; you know the situation has gotta be bad, because you don’t know if you’ve ever heard his voice this sweet talking to anyone besides yunho.

“i don’t know,” you say, voice barely above a whisper as the last remaining tears burn the back of your eyes. “i just...i don’t know. i’m so fucking scared.”

“well do you wanna...keep it?” mingi asks, yunho’s head snapping to the side as he looks at him. “you have options, you know.”

"i know,” you tell him softly, licking over your lips nervously; you never thought in a million years this would be a predicament you were in. “i don’t know if i could do that. i’m scared... but that seems scarier to me. and i still have to tell yeosang.”

the two boys don’t comment as you sit there with your thoughts, your leg starting to bounce nervously as you think about telling yeosang this news; this kind of announcement should be happy and joyful and exciting, you feel bad by the sheer terror pulsing in your veins.

“i have to tell yeosang,” you repeat, yunho and mingi looking you over as you start to think aloud. “what is he gonna say? what if he gets mad?”

“he’s the one who did it, how the fuck is he gonna get mad?” mingi growls, the semi-like, hate relationship with the boy coming out; he doesn’t think yeosang will react like that but he knows if he does, he’ll for sure crack his head open the way he intended to in the library back in high school.

“he’s not gonna be mad,” yunho assures, side eyeing mingi before he places a hand on your shoulder. “he’s probably gonna be just as scared as you.”

and you think if yeosang came home later that night in a good mood, you would’ve seen that yunho was right.

but the second your boyfriend got in the door, you knew he wasn’t okay. his face was pale and sunken and he looked utterly defeated, hair messy from the downpour of rain and just an overall look of exhaustion over him.

“work is driving me fucking insane, babe, it’s like they don’t know i’m still in school,” he tells you over dinner, his fork viciously stabbing into a piece of chicken.

“i have a hundred different things to do and they’re being assholes because i asked for one fucking extension. i’m just about ready to tell them to go fuck themsel- are you okay?”

he looked up from his food to see you staring down at your plate of noodles, completely untouched as your eyes train blankly on the white take out bowl.

“baby?” he hums lowly, his hand touching yours causing you to jump slightly. his eyebrows pull together slightly as he looks over your face, looking for any visible signs of stress or upset. “what’s wrong? do you not like it?”

“oh, no, no,” you laugh out humorlessly, bringing your fork down to swirl a few noddles before popping it in your mouth. “sorry, i’m just sleepy. yunho and mingi came over today.”

“ahh, tired my sick girl out, huh?” he teases, a frown on his face as he places the back of his hand on your head. “how’d you feel today? i hated leaving you.”

it takes everything in you not to burst into tears on the spot, your stomach twisting painfully as you shrug your shoulders at him.

“fine,” you mumble, “threw up a few times, then felt better. the same thing.”

“you gotta go to the doctor, love,” yeosang says, wiping at the corner of your mouth where a small speck of sauce lay. “i know you hate them but this is weird. especially since i feel fine.”

you only smile softly at him and nod, stomach sinking again after he adds on, “well, apart from being worried about you and so fucking annoyed with work. i know hwa’s mom got me the job but, shit, i’m about ready to be a real dick.”

“don’t do that,” you chastise lightly, smacking him in the arm playfully. he only chuckles in response, the tenseness in his eyes from the moment he walked in slowly disapating.

you can’t mention this tonight. you have to wait until his stress is minimal and news of his baby won’t be the thing that puts him over the edge.

“congratulations, you’re almost seven weeks pregnant!”

the words didn’t surprise you when you went to the doctor three days later, mingi’s hand in yours with a horrible pit in your stomach.

it felt wrong to be here with anyone who wasn’t yeosang but yunho and mingi had begged you to go, stressing your own personal safety as well as ensuring you didn’t somehow get five false positives.

and over the next few days, anytime you’d try to tell yeosang, something always came up and prevented you.

work and school still stressing him out, his coworkers inviting you guys to dinner, you passing out while he was still in the shower because apparently the first trimester is doing you so dirty already.

“you have to tell him soon, babe,” yunho said a week after that doctors appointment, holding back a laugh as he remembers the horror that crossed his fiance’s face when everyone thought he was the proud father to be.

“have you told him yet?” mingi asked two weeks later, back from a vacation with yunho where they couldn’t help but worry about you and yeosang.

his eyes widened and he covered his face with his hands when you shook your head no, his loudly spoken “what are you waiting for!” echoing through the small coffee shop.

“keep your voice down!” you snap, smacking him from across the table as you shoot him a stern look.

“y/n, it’s almost been a month and he still doesn’t know he’s gonna be a dad,” the boy whispers now, even though yeosang’s across the city at work and there’s only a few other people in the store right now.

“he’s been stressed about work and school and there just... hasn’t been a right time,” you reason weakly.

because even though that is the truth, he has been stressed and news of this would surely add on to it, you also know that telling him would make this all feel too real.

put it out in the world that you’re pregnant and he’ll be a father and you’ll both have to start making decisions based around those facts; are you both ready for this discussion?

you don’t feel ready. you feel more scared about this than you’ve ever felt in your entire life

“there might not ever be a good time, y/n,” mingi says softly, understanding why you’re scared but also knowing, despite his own feelings toward the boy, that yeosang will love you no matter what.

“and even though he’s a fucking dick, he loves you. and he wouldn’t want you being scared and dealing with this alone.”

tears prick your eyes because you know what mingi’s saying is right. and you guess if you’re gonna be terrified and stressed out, you might as well be together.

but your stomach nearly sinks that night, yeosang’s arm around your shoulder as you both watch tv, when he lowers the volume and begins to speak.

“baby, can i ask you something?”

you turn around and peek up at him, his eyes soft and curious and it makes your heart pull in your chest that even you can see the love reflecting in them.

“hm?” you hum as you look at him, warm and comfortable in his hold; because as far as stress and ways to relieve it go, you two usually fuck until you forget it.

but you haven’t felt right in the mornings and get sleepy by night, something you know yeosang had to have noticed and is too sweet to call you out on.

“are you... is everything okay?” he asks, his arm rubbing at your shoulder gently. “i feel like you’ve been out of it these past few weeks.”

he noticed the week you were sick but chopped it up to just that, feeling gross and drained and he completely understood it.

but then it seemed as if you started to avoid him completely, pushing away when he’d try to deepen a kiss or mutter that you weren’t in the mood when he sank to his knees at your bedside.

“and i don’t know... you seem a little distant,” he mumbled lowly, his hand slowly reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “i just wanna make sure everything’s okay.”

you think maybe it’s a little bit of everything that makes you promptly burst into tears. his sweetness and the starting of hormones and the guilt of keeping this secret from him for far too long.

“baby, what happened?” yeosang mumbles, his heart sinking the second he sees the tears well in your eyes.; he wasn’t sure what happened or what was wrong but he knew it had to be something.

you can only sniffle as you bury your face in his chest, shaking your head as you just cry and cry into him.

you’re faintly aware of his hand running through your hair, lips against your head as he takes deep, calming breaths.

“please tell me what’s wrong,” he says after a few moments, pulling your face out of his chest so you can meet his gaze. the look in your eye is one he’s never seen before and he doesn’t know what to make of it, wiping wetness from your cheeks as he looks at you pleadingly.

“c’mon, my love. talk to me,” his deep voice begs, a tiny sob leaving your mouth as you shake your head again.

“you’re gonna be mad,” you whimper out, knowing that you keeping this from him for this long was so fucking stupid; but you’re scared and you know he’s gonna be too, especially given his.... upbringing.

there are just so many factors that are making all of this ten times scarier.

“i won’t, baby,” he tells you gently, a pout on his lips as he looks down at you.

he’s not used to seeing you this upset, he hates seeing you cry and in any sort of pain since, for the past few years, you’ve only ever cried because of stupid, cheesy movies.

but you can only look at him with a blank expression, both of knowing very well how short his fuse could be.

“when do i ever get mad at you?” he corrects, a tiny smile breaking out across his face when you sniffle and your face scrunches up.

he doesn’t know what you’re about to tell him, or what could be so scary and upsetting that you’re breaking down like this, but he knows that when it comes to you, he’s wrapped around your finger.

and nothing you tell him could ever be that bad and panic-inducing.

“i’m pregnant.”

part 3

tag list: @mirror-juliet @toffee-hwa @valhoez @miatsubaki23

#yeosang #yeosang fluff #yeosang angst #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yeosang imagines #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #yeosang scenarios #ateez series #yeosang series

246 notes · View notes

cherrysweather · 4 years ago

Note

Hey! I’m glad you have your computer back. I have a request if you please. Franziska getting sick after Hazakura, and her SO looking after her and making sure she stays in bed/on the couch or something. I’m stuck inside with allergies, and she’s mu favorite. Please and thanks.

Hello hello! Thanks for asking ;v;

I don't have any allergies so I don't really know how you're feeling but please take care! Remember to always keep a bottle of water near you and drink a lot, I think it can help! UwU

Now! I hope you'll enjoy this while you're inside during this awful period of the year- I think this will give you comfort too? I hope so! XD

Luv u anon, here's your Franzy content >3•

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S/O looking after a Sick! Franziska von Karma;

After Godot took the case, Franziska was forced to look the trial from outside;

But she still helped Edgeworth (and Phoenix) with the investigations, continuing them even when she was trying to remove the locks in the cave;

Even with her coat, the harsh temperature of that mountain, both inside and out structures, gave her one of the worst colds she ever had;

She was a little careless, to be honest;

It's cold in Germany too, so she thought what she'd put on would be enough to cover her from the cold;

When you arrived home, she quickly went to the bathroom to check her temperature, feeling her legs weak and her face hot;

When you tried to approach her to understand what was happening, she almost hit you with her whip, telling you to stay away from her for the next weeks;

But someone had to help her when her legs gave out and she almost fell flat on the floor;

Usually, when she's sick she takes care of herself, but since this time you were with her, she will have a rest period uwu;

Prepare yourself with: patience, her whip and a lot of medicines and blankets (you'll need her whip to tie her to the bed when she wants to get up);

You need to be at her side most of the time to keep her at rest because she hates to stay in bed all day doing nothing, so if you don't stop her she'll just go to work;

She's weaker than usual, so get ready to hear her complaints whenever you bring her food and medicines;

"I don't need a babysitter, I-I'm old enough"

But her voice is so low and interrupted by coughing that you won't need to argue with her;

She'll scold you even if you stay too close to her;

"You'll become useless too if you stay here"

But hey, she can't argue that much so, you should enjoy these moments when you can not listen to her without making her angry;

If her fever is really bad, she will become the clingiest person you could ever meet;

"Please don't leave me" when you try to go to the bathroom;

"You look so beautiful" with a small caress on your cheek while you change the cloth on her forehead;

If you ever lie beside her, be sure you won’t get up again until she falls asleep;

But if she ever hugs you, goodnight to you both;

Miles will come to check on her too, saying that "Even if you're a couple, my sister can't bother you alone while she's sick";

(He's just worried but he's too shy to admit it);

So you have some help, but also more problems if Franziska sees him;

You know, she hates to depend on anyone, but especially on him, so you'll hear them arguing all the time if Franziska has enough strength;

When she starts to feel better, the first thing in her mind is to catch up on work;

So you need to keep her covered up properly and keep her on meds to allow her to heal completely, things she doesn't pay too much attention to;

Franziska is always the one who takes care of everything, so for one time it feels good to let her rest, taking care of the tiniest things too;

It's also an opportunity to spend more time together since she can't work uwu;

Enjoy the tiger while she's docile.

"You have to explain why he was here" Franziska squeezed the blankets she had covered herself with when she couldn't raise her voice as she wanted

"He wanted to see you, he's just worried" You took the bag full of meds and some hot drinks that Miles brought to the kitchen

"Do you want to eat something?"

"If I’m hungry I’ll come to get my own food, thanks" she huffed and hid herself in the blankets

"Mmh, you sure?" You were already preparing some food, since she had to take a medicine, sighing softly when she didn't answer. When you went back to the couch where she was, you pulled up the blankets that covered her a little, lowering yourself to her level and touching her forehead "Eat something, take the medicine and go to rest; next week you should feel better" You gave her the food, kept her pill and sat beside her

"...Thanks" she hid her sigh by blowing on the food to cool it

"You don't eat?" her tired eyes on her reddened cheeks made you smile a little, shaking your head to not give her a reason to scold you

"Don't worry about me, when you take the pill I'll eat something too" you moved her hair behind her ear, feeling her hairline wet with sweat. When you tried to stand up to get something to dry it, she snapped to grab your shirt

"Where are you going?" she nearly made the plate on her lap fall from her movement

"I'm just going to get a cloth, I'll be right back" you laughed a little and took the hand that was squeezing your shirt "Finish eating, before you know I'm already back here" when you loosened her grip, you went to the bathroom to soak a cloth in cool water to refresh it before going back to the couch. You sat beside Franziska again, but you noticed how her head was tilted to the side, her eyes closed and the plate on the floor. You shook her gently, but when she didn't woke up, you directly wiped the sweat from her face, caressing her cheek as an another attempt to wake her up, you refreshed her wrists and her neck, touching it slightly to tease her until she woke up "Take the pill before you sleep, and don't do it on the couch, it's uncomfortable" you laughed softly and helped her to sit up, giving her both the pill and a glass of water

"Can I have at least some coffee?" she touched her temples, hurrying to take her pill to go back to sleep

"Not coffee but cuddles" you held back your laughter and almost run to the kitchen to put the glass down to avoid her glance "Come on old woman, the bed is waiting for you" you held her on her feet while walking, earning a slap on the back for the joke you said before (useless to try to dodge it).

"Don't stay here, you have been already too close to me for my liking" she didn't even try to talk with a audible voice, rolling up in the blankets again

"I want to stay, you said that you have to go back to Germany when you feel better, so I must take advantage of your presence" you fell on top on her, hugging her and interlocking your body with hers, searching a comfortable position "Now sleep, you need to rest" you squished her cheeks, but when she didn't bite your hand, you knew she was already asleep.

"I told you that you shouldn’t have stood by me when I was sick!" you could hear her voice like she was beside you "As soon as this case is solved, I'll catch the first plane available and come to you" she sighed and you could imagine her hand gripping her whip in a lethal grip

Yes, you got sick after Franziska went back to Germany, and yes², she is black with anger.

"There's no need, I just have a fever and, unlike someone, I can walk without tripping" you started to laugh but you nearly choked because of the coughs in your throat

"If you think that I'll go easy on you, you are so wrong. My whip stiffened from not being used, I have to fix it, don't you think?"

"I'll cry if you hurt me, know that" you faked a cough, trying to pity her

"Next time listen to me when I ask you something" she closed the call and you hid under the pillows.

Every single time you’ve taken advantage of her during her illness are going to be punished, enjoy the peace while you can.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright ace attorney #ace attorney headcanon #franziska von karma #franziska von karma x reader #franziska von karma headcanons #trials and tribulations #bridge to the turnabout

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sleepysailorghost · 4 years ago

Text

Arcade wasn't sure what he expected when the Courier asked him to accompany them. They hadn't given a name, only said they were a Courier. It wasn't much to go on, but the Courier had looked up at him with big eyes. And for some reason, it didn't sound all that crazy to venture beyond the fort with them, a natural stanger.

They had listened so reverently when Julie spoke. They had fulfilled any job asked of them by the Followers. Certainly, if they harbored ill will towards the Followers, they would have gotten to their revenge before now.

He had asked for their name, if only to be polite.

"I don't have one. Courier or Six is fine, if you'd like."

"You don't have a name?"

"I guess I probably did once, but I don't remember any more. I just remember the man in the checkered coat- an 18-carat run of bad luck-and then waking up in Doc Mitchell's house. Maybe that man knows who I was. I don't know."

"That doesn't bother you, not having a past?"

"No, not really." The Courier leaned back. "I'm just me. Sure, I can't look back on the road behind me, but I can look forward."

"Interesting. Are you going to look for the man in the checkered coat?"

"I don't know. I guess I could. I'm supposed to, because he stole something from me and shot me in the head."

"Wait, he shot you in the head?"

"Yeah, that's why I don't remember much. It messed with my head too."

"Well, yeah. Getting shot in the head would do that."

"Oh, wait, I do have one hint to who I might have been." The courier starts to undo the many closures of their armor, like a fire's been lit under them. "What do you make of this?"

The Courier drops their armor clumsily on the floor, and then goofily flexes. He doesn't really know what they're refering to, but then he sees the poorly-done tattoo on their upper arm. It's a ring of roses and thorns that raps under their bicep. Despite being very mediocre, it is legible and in color.

"Huh." Tattoos aren't really unique, but it is something. "Maybe your name is Rose?"

"Maybe. It doesn't sound right."

"Maybe you just need to try it out for a while, wear it in." He's trying to help, but the Courier is a near stranger to him. "Or, if you'd like, I could arrange for you to see Dr. Usa-"

"No thanks. Don't want to take up her time." The refusal was off faster than a bullet from a sixgun. "If you're ready to go, so am I."

"Sure." He agreed. It wasn't really healthy of the Courier to act out against the idea of visiting the clinic, but it wasn't something he could force them into. At least, not as a near stranger.

This turned out to be one of the few times the Courier's former-NCR sniper friend wasn't travelling with them. He probably wouldn't have decided to go with the Courier if he had known they had company. Still, it isn't all that bad, even if he feels a little crowded with the Courier, their robot pet ED-E (he hates that thing), the King's robot-dog, the sniper, and the Remnant medical researcher. One more person, and the Courier will have a small army.

Not that the Courier normally has all of them traveling together at once. It's too noticeable, draws too much attention. It might even sound like a joke: an Enclave eyebot, a police cyber dog, an amnesiac Courier, a grouchy NCR sniper, and a medical researcher walk in to a bar...

It makes the Courier happy to travel with him, so he does it on occasion. Those occassions become a lot more frequent after they return from a place they call the "Big Empty".

That had been months ago. Now, he felt like he knew the Courier. Not that he wasn't surprised by the Courier-he certainly was. But he was familiar with the Courier now.

It was a dangerous sort of thing, that familiarity. He was even starting to think that perhaps it would be a good idea to let them in on his own origins.

And he knew how the Courier felt about him.

Leaning against his side while they sat at a fire, the Courier's hands stripping a defeated foe's weapon, they had muttered something.

"Sorry, say again?" Arcade responded. Most of the time, it was just complaints about bent springs or whatever, more to themselves than to him.

The Courier's hands stopped, laying the weapon on the ground.

"You're my brother, Arcade." The Courier says, and then continues before Arcade could interrupt. "Not by blood. Or hell, maybe you are. It's not like I'd remember. Course you are a heck of a lot taller than I am...maybe the tall gene skipped me."

Arcade doesn't say anything, attempting to process what the Courier was trying to tell him.

"No, we're not related by blood." He agrees, although he has no real way to confirm it without knowing the Courier's identity.

"I know." The Courier put their hand up to their chest. "I just...well, I know you're my brother. I, uhh, care about you."

Arcade didn't know what to say about that. It really did feel like it had come out of nowhere to him. A few weeks later, the Courier had gone running off to a place that might have been their home.

Antietam is walking by his side now, but their gaze is drawn over to an old poster. The pre-war store was filled with advertisements for many different products, from Sugar-Bombs to the newest products from Rob-Co.

Shelves, long ransacked and destroyed, have created something of a maze. The laminate tiling on the floor has become loose after centuries of neglect. Decorations littering the area would mark this location as a raider base at some point.

His friend doesn't seem to notice any of that, moving closer to a central display that might have been made of stacked shoeboxes once. Now, the boxes lay in a crumpled heap.

"Antietam, wait-" He says, and the courier stops.

"Yeah? Do you need something?"

"You need to be more careful! This could be a trap."

"I don't think it is. I'm pretty good at finding traps and I don't see any tripwires or bear traps. I've stepped in enough of those."

"Of course you wouldn't see them! It's a mess in here."

"I'm not going far. I just wanna see if I can find some of those."The Courier pointed at an advertisement. It was of a girl with little wheels on her shoes, looking over her shoulder as she spun away. Under the picture, it read "Roll with the punches with Roller-Ray skates!".

"Do you..need those?"

"Well, no. I just think they would be cool. Just rollin around town."

"I'll go with them." Boone added, if only so he could keep an eye on them.

"Yeah, plus ED-E's sensors haven't picked up on anything. I can handle myself while looking for skates, Arcade."

On that note, the Courier and Boone go to pick through the rubble. When they returned, Antietam raised their arm triumphantly.

"We found them! A little dinged up, but I can fix that. C'mon, lets go outside to try them!" With the hand not holding their skates, Antietam grabbed at Arcade's sleeve.

"Okay, okay." He said, because Antietam's enthusiasm for things was infectious sometimes. They exited the store, entering that had once been a parking lot. Rusted-through cars sat abandoned and the sun hung low in the sky.

Antietam dropped to the floor, strapping on their skates. They were metal and fit awkwardly with their combat boots and spurs. Awkwardly, like a baby radstag on ice, the Courier stood up.

"Okay,so I just." The Courier lifted one leg as if to take a step. Their balance was offset by the movement. Next to him, Arcade saw Boone move to catch the Courier if they fell, but the Courier braced themselves on a car instead.

They took a few more awkward steps.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of this." Their movements were jerky, but in time, perhaps they'd be alright at it.

Then they hit a skid in the destroyed asphalt and took a spill. Their left side collided hard with a rusted shell.

"Ouch." they groaned, and then collapsed onto the parking lot. "I'm just gonna rest here for a second."

Arcade laughed a little, and then helpfully whined about the sun.

"Alright, alright. Okay, getting up." The Courier pushed up from the asphalt with both hands, rising from their crumpled mass.

"Nothing broken?" Arcade asked, seeing Antietam avoid putting too much weight on their left side.

"No, probably just bruised." They replied, but that was what Arcade had expected. They were still extremely hesitant to be medically examined, even if it meant concealing and ignoring injuries. It stung Arcade-someone who the Courier allegedly loved like a brother-to be held at arms' length. That being said, he couldn't be upset with them either. The Courier had suffered greatly and been stripped of agency by doctors. It was a mark of pride that Antietam trusted him.

Actually, he could still be angry with them for concealing injuries.

The sun was beating down as steadily as it always did in the Mojave. A bead of sweat formed on Arcade's neck.

"Oh shoot." The Courier murmured, looking over their hands. They wore fingerless gloves, and a pip-boy on one arm. Arcade examined the injury. It would be a lot of work if the Courier came down with tetnus. "It's just a scrape, Arcade."

"It's not just a scrape. It's dirty and could get infected."

"Hottest part of the days coming up. We should wait it out in the store." Boone added, helpfully.

"C'mon, listen to your big brother, ok?" Arcade tried with a smile. The Courier looked up at him with their wide brown eyes.

Arcade was not above emotional manipulation.

Half a year ago, if someone told him that he was going to play big brother to a Courier who knew nothing about their past and hated doctors, he'd have likely sent them to see Dr. Usanagi.

The Courier ran their gloved hand through their short white hair. It fluffed up their bangs (despite the pin staying in place) and revealed the twin scars on their forehead and the surgical scar that ran around their skull.

"Okay." The Courier responded, sticking their wrist out to him for treatment.

"Oh, that's a nasty cut." he said, "Let's head inside so we can get this treated.:

In the end, even if the Courier was a hassle sometimes, he was glad to be their brother. He was turning into such a sap.

#arcade gannon #courier antietam #fallout new vegas #fnv #ED-E #craig boone #roller skates

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 4 years ago

Text

Robron week - Day 4

Make a wish, it's the rule.

Look at this...on time for once! From the same universe as yesterday as people seemed to like it.

(A03 link)

Aaron’s on the last job of the morning and it’s the kind he hates. He likes to think he’s learned a little bit of tolerance in this job because he understands that people are ill and they really don’t want to be there, but when someone is doing nothing but running down the staff on the wards it gets his back up.

“There we are Mr Harris, someone will be back to collect you when you’re done.” He turns on his sweet saccharine voice that he keeps just for the difficult ones. Without so much as a by your leave he drops his notes on the desk and scarpers. It’s been one of those days and he’ll be glad when it’s over.

As he’s on his way back to the locker room he spots a familiar face, it’s Robert from a few nights before. He probably doesn’t remember him but he feels as though he should say hello and he quickens his pace to catch up with him.

“Robert? Hi.” The man in front of him looks blank for a minute and his face drops. Of course he doesn’t remember, his whole world had probably taken a beating that night, why would he remember a stranger. Then recognition kicks in and he smiles.

“Aaron! Sorry, I’m dead on my feet.” Aaron brushes away the apology before he asks how his little boy is doing. “He’s ok, he’s still upstairs. I’m on my way back now, had to take a work call because my son being in hospital isn’t a good enough excuse apparently.”

“You look like you could do with a break.”

“Going to give me tea and a blanket again?”

“If you want. He’ll be alright for a few more minutes won’t he? You look like you’re going to fall over any minute.”

“I should get back. Ever since I told him about Bex he doesn’t like it when I’m not there, screamed the place down yesterday when I nipped home for a shower.”

“Tell me to mind my own business and I swear I’m not a weirdo but if you want I could sit with him while you get some lunch. Not to sound like my Mum but you’re no good to him if you’re exhausted. The staff up there know me.” It’s weird, he shouldn’t be offering, but if Robert was on his own aside from Vic then he could probably do with the help.

“I don’t know, he’s pretty upset.” He looked at him like he’d hung the moon though.

“Half an hour. If he doesn’t like me then I’ll come find you.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you have to work?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s my lunchbreak, was only going to go for a jog, this is a much better way to spend time, besides it’s freezing out there. He’s what six? That’s the same age as my little cousin and I babysit him loads. Go on, you’ll feel better for it even if the food ain’t up to much.”

“I don’t know.”

“If it helps I wanted to be one of those play specialists years back. Would’ve tried it if I hadn’t moved to France.”

“France?”

“Yeah. Waste of time, came back when my boyfriend cheated on me.” He bites his lip, maybe he should’ve kept quiet but a part of him wanted him to know, because as much as he told himself it wasn’t the time or the place he couldn’t help but be attracted to him, even if nothing could ever happen.

“Oh. Well...ok.”

“That’s settled then. Now go eat.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Nah, I leave that to the professionals. Go, it’ll be fine.”

It still feels strange, even with Robert’s permission, walking onto the brightly coloured children’s ward, the place full of noise as always. One of the nurses he knows directs him to Seb’s room and he peeks in the doorway to see him staring at the TV, red faced from crying, mouth downturned in a pout.

He feels bad when he pushes the door open and he sees a momentary smile only for it to disappear when he sees someone other than his father coming in.

“Hi. I’m Aaron, what’re you watching?”

“Nothin’.”

“That’s a shame, because I told your Dad that you’d tell me all about the cartoons. Guess I’ll see if the kids next door can help me.”

“No. I can do it. You know my Daddy?” Aaron nods, sitting beside the bed. The little boy is propped up on a mountain of pillows and he’s guessing Robert had persuaded them to give him a couple extra because there was definitely more than the regulation amount. His leg is hidden by the covers but he can tell it’s injured somehow by the cradle holding the sheets away from it. There’s a dressing on the left side of his head too but other than that he seems ok.

“Yeah. I met him the night you came here. He went to get something to eat but he’ll be back soon. I told him I’d come sit with you so he wouldn’t worry.”

“He does that a lot.”

“Yeah? Mums and Dads are like that aren’t they.” He remembers a second too late and he wants to kick himself as the tears start to form in Seb’s eyes. “I’m sorry mate.”

“Mummy went to the stars.” He tells him, hiccuping his way through the words.

“Yeah, I know, but you know she’ll always be here with you right? You’ll remember her and Daddy will tell you about her loads.”

“Is your Mummy still here? Daddy’s isn’t. He told me that he used to be really really sad, but now it’s not so much and that’s how I’ll be too.”

“Well I bet he’s right. Yeah my Mummy’s still here. She’s right bossy, makes me tidy my room and all sorts.” That gets a giggle and he’s relieved. He wouldn’t want Robert to come in and see his son crying.

“Do you work here?”

“Yep. I’m a porter, do you know what that is?” He shakes his head, eyes wide with interest and Aaron thinks he looks just like Robert. “I take people where they need to go, on their beds or in wheelchairs and stuff.”

“Do you race them?”

“No. I think I’d get into trouble if I did that.”

“You should. It’d make them feel better.” He adds a little nod at the end of his statement.

“You think. Well you never know, maybe one day. So, what do you like doing when you’re not stuck in here? I can go get you some toys or we can play a game.”

“I like drawing. It’s my Daddy’s birthday today.” It takes a second for Aaron to catch on to the change in subject. “Can I make him a card?”

“Yeah, course. I’ll go and get you some stuff. Don’t go anywhere will you.” He winks at him, getting another giggle before he goes to raid the supply cupboard on the ward.

He can’t help feeling a little sad that Robert’s spending his birthday in the hospital with his son and his mind is already whirling with thoughts about how he can make it a little better. Maybe he’s overstepping, after all they don’t even know each other really, but he finds himself wanting to make Robert smile, to make things just a little better. He wants to know everything about the man too, but he pushes that to one side. Now’s not the time.

Armed with pens and paper he heads back to Seb’s room, manoeuvring the table over the bed so he can draw. He’s still at it when Robert comes back in the room looking a little better and Aaron sits up straight in the chair.

“Daddy!”

“Hey cheeky. Have you been ok with Aaron?”

“Yeah he’s funny! He’s going to race the trollies when he’s working.”

“Little sneak. That was your idea!” He goes to stand beside Robert. “He’s been fine. I put my foot in a little mentioning my Mum but I think he’s ok. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry. Thanks. You were right, I really needed a break.”

“Any time. I mean it, here’s my number, or just ask the nurses to radio me and I can sit with him as long as I’ve not got a job.” He scribbles his number on a bit of Seb’s discarded paper and hands it to Robert. “He’s better company than my mate right now.”

“Sounds like a story.”

“Nah, he just wants me to go out on the pull, gets a right monk on when I won’t.” Maybe he shouldn’t but a part of him wants to know if there’s an interest of any kind or whether he’s wasting his time.

“Not a good wingman?”

“He’s not, just wants me to hang around while he tries it on with every girl in the room.”

“Not your scene? Sorry none of my business.”

“Not my type more like. Anyhow you don’t care about this. I should go.” He makes for the door wanting to escape the embarrassing silence. “Oh, happy birthday by the way.”

The next time he sees him he’s pushing Seb in a wheelchair as Aaron’s taking a patient to the entrance to be discharged.

“Aaron! Race us!” Seb’s voice carries along the corridor and his patient starts laughing. At least she won’t put in a complaint. He’s already got one against him from the bloke this morning who hadn’t got a sense of humour, he doesn’t need another on the same day.

“Seb, Aaron’s working.”

“Oh go on petal, give him a little race.” He can’t help checking the corridor for any of the bosses before winking at Seb and increasing his pace a little, chuckling as Seb urges Robert to hurry up. He lets them go ahead and Seb’s cheer is surprising in how it makes him feel happy. “If you get into trouble lad, you tell them I insisted.”

“Cheers Alice, I might need to. Thanks though, he’s having a tough time.” He whispers conspiratorially to his passenger. “If I sit you here your husband won’t be long will he?”

“No, no, you get on. I think they’re waiting for you.” She pats his hand and he flashes a smile at her already heading towards these two people who already have a place in his heart.

“Where are you off then?”

“PIcnic!”

“Wow!”

“This one has been telling all and sundry that it’s my birthday and somehow there were some spare sandwiches and bits left over from the lunches which mysteriously ended up in his room. The nurses all but shooed us out. Know anything about that?”

He shrugs, embarrassed. “No one should be stuck in hospital on their birthday. Or visiting for that matter.”

“Well thanks. You wanna join us?”

“Please Aaron, please.” He can’t resist Seb’s pleading face, looking up at him from the wheelchair, tucked up in a blanket, leg stuck out in front of him in it’s plaster cast. “Daddy got choc’late cake.”

“He did? Well in that case...I’ve got a few minutes.”

They find a spot on the grass at the front of the hospital and thankfully the grass is dry when he sits down.

“Are you sure we’re not keeping you from anything?” Robert fusses as he sticks the straw in Seb’s carton of apple juice.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere til I try that chocolate cake.”

“Best get to it then. I even managed to get a candle because apparently it’s not a birthday cake without one.”

“It’s not Daddy. You hafta blow it out and make a wish, it’s the rule. Like I did on my birthday.”

“Oh yeah, what did you wish for then?” Aaron asks him, amused at how he bossed his Dad about.

“More cake.”

“Fair enough.” He watches as Robert sets the candle in the cake patting his pockets when he doesn’t have a light. Aaron hands him his lighter. “Here. I’ve given up but it reminds me not to start again. Besides it can come in handy.”

“Right then.”

“Blow it out Daddy!” Robert looks embarrassed but he does as he’s told. “What did you wish for?”

“That’d be telling wouldn’t it.”

“So, when are they letting him out?” He asks when they’ve eaten the cake and Robert’s cleared the remains from Seb’s mouth.

“The weekend, if he can handle crutches. I’ve got nothing sorted, I live up on the second floor and I don’t know...oh you don’t need to hear all this.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Why are you helping us Aaron?” He shrugs. “I’m not complaining because I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t helped the other night, but why? You must see loads of people looking as pathetic as I did.”

“You didn’t. You just looked like you needed someone I suppose.”

“Well cheers. I never would’ve called Vic either if it hadn’t been for you.”

“Yeah? You’re getting on alright then?” He hadn’t seen her in the village so he had no idea if they’d reconciled, although he knew Vic well enough to know she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I like Auntie Vic. She brought me pizza!”

“Wow! Her pizzas are the best.”

“You know Auntie Vic?” Seb looks amazed as if it’s the coolest thing in the world.

“Yep, since school.”

“That’s a long time.”

“Yeah yeah, alright you, don’t go making me old before my time.” He reaches out to tickle him making him squeal.

“You’re really good with him.”

“Big kid meself.”

“I just...don’t feel like I know him.” He bends a little closer so Seb can’t hear. “Bex and I we didn’t really get on and I didn’t get to see him as much as I wanted so I’ve missed tons and I don’t know how to make up for that.”

“So don’t. You’re here now. My Mum left when I was eight and even when I found her again she didn’t really want to know. We’re alright now, but it’s hard to forgive her for that. Not leavin’, well not just that, but mostly for not caring. As long as he knows you care, that you love him more than anything else then there’s nothing to make up for.” Robert nods but doesn’t say anything. “Make sure you ask for help too if you need it. Not just Vic, but if he needs to talk to someone.”

“That sounds like experience.”

“Yeah. It helped me with stuff and it doesn’t mean you can’t cope.”

“That’s scary.”

“Nah, you’re a Sugden. Stubborn as they come, right?” He’s about to say something else when his radio crackles into action with a job. “Best get on.”

“Aaron...when he gets out of here...would you like to go for a drink or something?”

“Uh, sure. You still owe me that pint, remember?”

“I meant...more like a date. Maybe I shouldn’t when he’s still here and Bex is...and he’ll need me, but I like you Aaron. Forget it, I’m barking up the wrong tree.”

“No...I mean, you’re not wrong. When he’s sorted yeah?” Robert nods. “Right I better go before I get the sack. See ya later Seb.”

“See you later alligator.”

“In a while, crocodile.” He ruffles his hair gently as he goes. “See ya Robert.”

“Soon I hope.” Maybe today wasn’t too bad after all.

#robron week #rw2021 #this turned into a bit of a monster

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devnicolee · 4 years ago

Text

The Chosen Ones (One-Shot): Surprise

A/N: Very random but it is what my brain wanted this weekend lol Also I miss Asha lol my fav! Anyway, enjoy!

***

Asha’s hand covered her mouth as she yawned, resting her book on her chest and letting her head gently fall on the mountain of propped up pillows behind her.

“You have been really tried lately, firecracker?” M’Baku called as he walked out of their bathroom to grab his pajamas at the foot of the bed. Asha nodded lightly, her mind immediately distracted, like a child with a new toy, as her eyes gazed over his naked body. They had only known each other for a year, been married for six months, and his body still managed to take her breath away.

She licked her lips lightly, desire flaring in her eyes as she ignored his question and her previous exhaustion. M’Baku chuckled as he examined her.

“Are you listening, my queen?”

She smiled slyly, pulling herself from under the covers, sexily crawling down to the edge of the bed where he stood.

“I’m sorry, my king. You are just my greatest distraction,” she whispered seductively in his ear, her teeth gently nipping at his earlobe, his favorite spot.

He groaned before pulling back slightly. “There will time for that later. But I am serious, Asha. Are you sure you are feeling ok?” His eyes examined her closely as if he could see a mysterious illness in her eyes. “You usually only sleep one or two nights a week and you have been dead to the world every night this week.”

“Maybe it is our late night activities,” she winked before kissing his neck. She ended her ministrations as she heard the frustrated sigh leave his lips. Her usual methods of distraction weren’t going to work this time.

He wasn’t wrong, she usually didn’t need sleep or, at least, not much of it. She spent most nights working with T’Challa, who was usually awake as well, or reading in the library. That is, after she and M’Baku finished their intimate time, which was continuing at a rate of every single night. She was wondering when he would slow down, get tired of her… but that day had yet to come. She was convinced that was part of it, M’Baku had more energy than her. He pushed her body to its limits most nights, even after a long day, he was rarely satisfied with lazy sex.

“Sorry, I know you are serious. I don’t know what it is though… nothing has changed. I-I’ve just felt really tired the last week or two. I’m sure it will pass, don’t worry about it, ok?” She kissed his cheek.

Silence fell over them as his eyes examined her. “If it continues, you will go see a healer, yes?”

“Of course. Now…” her small hands drifted to the hem of the shirt he just pulled onto his broad frame and started to pull it back off. “Why don’t you come over here and give me a reason to be exhausted?”

M’Baku climbed over her as their lips connected and their tongues explored each other.

“Anything you wish, my queen.”

****

Asha groaned slightly as she turned over in bed, the sheets sliding off of her naked body. M’Baku instinctively turned with her, his arm resting over her hip as she tried to get comfortable again. She glanced at the clock, surprised at how long she had slept. But she wasn’t surprised, M’Baku seemed determined to send her to new heights that evening, pouring all his love and energy into worshipping her body. She reached for her beads, finding a missed message from T’Challa.

She groaned as she remembered she was supposed to be going over some treaties with him that evening. She quietly got out of bed to get her tablet to call him. However, as she stood up, she felt her stomach start to turn, an unfortunate wave of nausea overtaking her. She sat back on the bed, her mind running through the food she ate throughout the day to determine what caused this.

After a few minutes, she felt that unmistakable churn that forced her to leap off the bed. She barely made it to the toilet before she began throwing up. It felt as if her body was trying to rid itself of every substance she ever consumed. After a few minutes of heaving, she rested her head on her arms, exhaustion settling in, as she waited for the next wave she knew would be coming.

When the second wave hit, she didn’t even notice M’Baku behind her, holding her braids back for her. When she was done, she felt a damp rag wiping her forehead. She offered him a small smile and a feeble ‘thank you.’

“What happened, baby?” He whispered as he rubbed her back.

“I-I don’t know. Just one of those stomach bugs probably,” she waved his concerns away.

“Maybe we should go see a healer tomorrow, firecracker?”

Asha immediately shook her head. “No, no. I promise I’m fine.”

She pushed herself up and walked slowly over to their wooden counter. She discreetly leaned against it as she reached for her toothbrush. “Look, if I get sick again, I promise I will go see a doctor. But there is no need to fuss. I feel much better already.”

“Ok, one more incident and you are headed to the doctor, no complaints.”

“Yes sir. Now let me brush my teeth and then we can go back to bed. I’ll be there in a second.”

She watched M’Baku’s back retreat from her as he returned to their bedroom. She slumped forward, her head resting in her hand. Something was off, she knew that much.

***

“Are you sure you are ok?” M’Baku asked as Asha wrapped her arm in his as they strolled through the market. She rolled her eyes.

She appreciated M’baku’s protectiveness, truly. But sometimes it felt overbearing. Aside from that bout of sickness two days ago, Asha had felt fine. Still tired but fine. And yet, he has asked her how she was feeling every hour for the last 48 hours. But when she thought about the husband she almost had, she chose to be grateful for this quirk of his. It just meant he cared deeply and wanted her to know that. She would always appreciate that about him… the lengths he went to ensure she felt loved, cherished and protected every single day. He wanted her to be around as long as she possibly could be and wanted to protect her from anything that could stop that.

“When are you going to stop asking me if I am ok?“

“When you are back to my usual energetic, non-sleeping, sickness-free fire goddess,” he mused.

“I promise, it was just one night. Even goddesses get sick, my king,” she teased, as she waved at a few vendors as they passed by. “Seriously, I’m good.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, his usual response to her assurances, an indication that he didn’t really believe her.

They approached Asha’s favorite shop in the market, a dressmaker who was a true magician with fabric. Asha had dragged Nakia, Okoye, and Shuri here to see Adisa, firmly believing her dresses were better than 99 percent of the dressmakers in the Golden City.

“My king, my queen,” Adisa saluted them as they entered the shop.

“Asha!”

“Neema! It is Queen Asha, you know that. Be respectful,” her mother called as the little girl barreled toward her chief and chieftess.

Asha smiled as Adisa’s daughter came rushing up to her and rammed into her legs for a hug. She didn’t particularly care about the young girl, or anyone in the tribe, calling her by her title. She was still getting used to that part.

“Oof!” Asha exclaimed as she wrapped her small arms around her legs. “Have you gotten stronger since I was last here? I think you have found your next great warrior, M’Baku,” she mused, sharing a wink with her husband.

The young girl glanced up at M’Baku, her eyes big with wonder and excitement. “Reallyyyy?” Her baby voice asked. M’Baku swooped down and picked her up, the girl immediately resting her head on his shoulder.

“I agree! We need strong warriors like you. You will train hard, yes? I will be looking for you to join us in a few years,” he remarked, smiling at the young girl.

It always made Asha’s heart melt watching M’Baku interact with children throughout the tribe. They all adored him. He had such a way with them, gentle and loving.

He placed her feet back on the ground, offering her another big smile before she turned her attention back to Asha.

“Can you make the fire, Queen Asha, pleasseeeee?”

Asha smiled before taking a few steps back, to put a healthy distance between her and the young girl, and stretched out her hands. While she enjoyed free use of her powers in Jabariland, she honestly didn’t think much about them anymore or use them often, especially this time of year. They were a joy for everyone during the winter months, instant fire at her fingertips whenever they needed it. But in the summer, Asha’s gift wasn’t as necessary as others were. Only one year into living among the Jabari and she truly appreciated how the Chosen were seen as gifts and help to the tribe, each one stepping up to fill a need or a gap when necessary.

Asha concentrated as she stretched her hands out, several flames emerging before forming three small gorillas. She and Neema watched as the gorillas ran around in her palms, the young girl getting close enough to watch but keeping a safe distance to ensure she didn’t get hurt.

She giggled and clapped her hands at the show, before Asha closed her palms, causing the fire to die out.

“What do you say?” Her mother prompted as she carried several large garment bags out of the back of the shop.

“Thank you!”

She gave Asha another hug before running to the back room. As she straightened back up, Asha swayed slightly for a second, unexpected dizziness washing over her. She took a deep breath, ignoring it briefly.

“Thank you for always entertaining her. She just loves that.”

M’Baku took the long garment bags out of her hands, trading them for a stack of Wakandan dollars.

Asha waved her hand, “It is nothing. She is a dream, so sweet. And thank you for the new pieces. So happy I have something for King T’Challa’s birthday this weekend.”

“I hope you like them! Will I see you again next week? I will have some new things for you to try?”

Asha nodded, “Of course!”

She and M’Baku said their goodbyes before heading back into the market toward their carriage. She leaned against M’Baku, using him to help her walk as the dizzy feeling grew. She wanted to ask him to stop but didn’t want to send him into a frenzy in the middle of the crowded market. But after a few more paces, she realized she couldn’t take it any longer.

“My love, can we s-slow down for one second?” She asked, her feet coming to a halt.

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just felt dizzy all of a sudden. I am sure it is nothing.”

His hands went to her waist as he examined her. After a few minutes of deep breathes, Asha finally opened her eyes to see the extreme concern in his.

“Better?”

She nodded, “Much. Thanks.”

“Good. And we will have no more of this. I am calling a healer as soon as we get home.”

“M’Baku…” Asha whined. “Please, don’t make a big deal out of this. I just needed a minute.”

“And I need for you to be ok, really ok. And you aren’t. Lying about that for my benefit isn’t helping either of us. Even if it is something small, I would rather know about it so we can deal with it. Understand?” He kissed her forehead gently.

Asha nodded, accepting that this was not a battle she could win. “Understood.”

***

Asha paced up and down their bedroom as she waited for M’Baku to come home from his office. He had demanded she take the day off and rest, rearranging her entire day for her and arranging for his private healer to come check in on her.

The healer had left over an hour ago, leaving behind a diagnosis Asha hadn’t never thought to consider.

She was pregnant.

She almost fainted when he told her. She even asked him to check again to be sure.

Asha couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t tell whether to be excited or terrified. Asha had always wanted children but convinced herself for years that she would never have them. And then M’Baku came along and changed all of that. He made her impossible dreams feel possible again. And they both wanted children, him an army of them. But not this soon, they had barely been married.

She worried they were moving too fast. After all, they had dated, gotten engaged and gotten married all in less than a year. Asha regretted none of it, even if the move to Jabariland came with a steep learning curve. She had figured it out and she had never been happier. However, children were not something you rushed, they were something you planned for. And they hadn’t done any real planning yet.

Part of her worried how M’Baku would react, but only for a second. Regardless of the timing, he would be ecstatic, beside himself.

She had spent the last hour pacing their quarters, wondering how to tell him. However, she wouldn’t have to wait much longer as she looked up to find him walking into their quarters.

“My love, you are supposed to be in bed,” he chastised lightly, kissing her on the forehead. “What’s wrong?” He asked immediately as he took in the stressed look on her face. “What did the doctor say?”

Asha stared at his chest. She knew there was a better way to tell him this, something cute and romantic. But she was freaking out and needed him… his strength, his steadfastness, his wisdom. He would forgive the lack of fanfare in the announcement.

“Nothing bad. I’m ok… I-I’m just pregnant.”

She stole a glance at his face, finding a smile slowly growing there like a blooming flower.

“What?” He asked for clarification.

“I am pregnant.”

“Ah!” Asha let out a light scream and laugh as she was suddenly swept off her feet. M’Baku captured her lips as he spun her around. She giggled lightly.

“Are you happy?” She asked.

“You have made me the happiest man in the world, Asha. I love you more than anything.” He kissed her deeply.

He clapped his hands and laughed as they broke apart, immediately launching into a speech.

“We have to celebrate! In the Golden City this weekend! Oh and we have to tell our families. AND the Council. They will be ecstatic at this news… an heir. Wow. Oh he or she will be the greatest leader the Jabari has ever seen.” Asha watched as he paced and talked, his excitement flowing out of him like the rivers cut the mountains. “I will carve them a knobkerrie and I s-should start on the crib now. Do you th-“ he stopped as he looked over at his wife, his words dying at the sad smile on her face.

“What’s wrong, usana?” He asked, immediately coming up to her and rubbing her bare arms. As he looked at her, he could see the signs of her anxiety and fear, the unshed tears she was desperately trying to hold back glistening vin her eyes. “Are you not happy?”

She shook her head immediately, “No, no. I am happy. Of course, I’m happy,” she emphasized looking up at him. “I ju-“ she shook her head again, hesitant at sharing her fears with him… fears she knew he wouldn’t share. “N-nothing, it’s nothing. I am happy, really.”

“Stop. No, do not do that. Something is bothering you. Tell me.”

Asha looked away from him, her fears growing as she struggled to voice her anxieties to her husband. This was the part of marriage she still struggled with, being vulnerable and letting him in.

“Hey, look at me, baby.” His hand gently guided her chin so her eyes were back on him. “Whatever you have, whatever you are feeling… the good, the bad, all the complicated feelings in between, I want to hear them. I want all of you, always, Asha. Please, tell me what is troubling you.”

“Do you think I would be a good mother?” She whispered.

M’Baku tilted his head in confusion. Of all the things he expected her to say, this was not it. “Of course. Why would you ask such a thing?”

Asha sighed, a tear falling down her cheek. “Y-You know how my parents were. I mean, I basically died a-and my mother didn’t even check on me. She never protected me o-or loved me. The moment she could rid me from her life, she did. I probably don’t have a mothering bone i-in my body. I don’t know how to do this a-and I thought we would have more time for me to figure it out. A-and I am terrified… terrified I will disappoint them a-and you.”

M’Baku settled next to her, a comforting hand rubbing her back. “You are nothing like your parents, Asha. What’s that American saying, ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?’ Well, you and your siblings seemed to have fallen in a different field.” His heart lifted at the little smile at graced her face at his joke. It shattered him to hear how little she thought of herself, how her parents’ actions still haunted her. He understood, saw it every time they were in the Golden City.

She had begun healing from her relationship with her father since she spoke with him in the Ancestral Plane… she had closure at least. But her mother… that was a minefield he, T’Challa, and Shuri tried to avoid, at Asha’s insistence. They maintained pleasantries at official events and in front of the Council, for the sake of optics. But other than that, M’Baku couldn’t think of the last time she and her mother had uttered two words directly to each other or been in the same room without T’Challa and Shuri. However, that didn’t stop the snide remarks sent her way from her mother.

Asha pretended it didn’t bother her to be ignored, disrespected by her mother continuously. But M’Baku saw it, the way her heart fell - even just for a second - every single time. He remembered her coronation 6 months ago, two days after their wedding. He still remembered her face when the rest of her family and friends descended from the Talon but her Ramonda didn’t. T’Challa’s sorry attempt to find an excuse for her couldn’t hide what they all knew: the Queen Mother simply didn’t care to attend. It crushed her, he knew, to never be accepted by her. He cursed himself for never thinking about how that might affect her feelings about parenting their own children.

He wrapped his arm around her, her body immediately nestling into his. “I have seen the way you are with our nieces and nephews, the other children here. They all love you, Asha. You are nurturing and kind, gentle. But most importantly, you affirm them always, you uplift them and do everything in your power to ensure they know how valuable and important they are. You are already leagues and bounds ahead of your mother. I have no doubt in your mothering abilities because you are a mother to everyone in this tribe who needs you. I have no doubt you will be the same for our child,” his hand rubbed her stomach through her thick knit sweater.

“You think so?” She asked quietly, wiping her tears.

He kissed the side of her head, “I know so. And I also know there is no shame in fear, usana. Fear is the consequence that comes with growing and stretching ourselves as people. Parenting is hard, it will be the hardest thing we ever do. And I am scared too,” he nodded, nonverbally reiterating his statement at her skeptical eyebrow raise. “I am. But I will lean on Hanuman and I will lean on you, as I always do when I am scared. And I hope you will do for me. We can do this, Asha. You can do this.”

Asha nodded, smiling at him, “You are amazing. How did I get so lucky?” Her lips connected with his cheek, his coarse beard tickling her lips.

“I ask Hanuman the same thing everyday about you,” he whispered back, kissing her forehead. “Come on firecracker,” he laughed as he watched her try to hide a yawn. “My Queen deserves all the rest and relaxation.”

He helped her strip down to her undies before giving her one of his sweaters to sleep in and helped her into bed. Before she settled fully, she waved her hand to extinguish the fire across the room, her body heat being enough for both of them. Once she was settled, he joined her as she draped her body over his bare chest.

“This will be good, Asha. We will be great parents,” he said as they laid in the darkness.

Asha smiled, the first genuine one since she found out the news.

“I think we will too.”

***

Tag List: @destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @jellybean531 @skysynclair19@ashanti-notthesinger @gloriousgam3r @archivistofwakanda@leahnicole1219 @mygirlrenee @dramaqueeenamby

#black panther fanfiction #m'baku x oc #m'baku x reader #m'baku imagine #black panther imagines #black panther fics #black writers #black panther #m'baku

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