#I get that it’s not that deep
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Sometimes at work (private security, for those who don’t know) people ask me, “another day of stopping bad guys?” and like. I get that it’s usually a joking thing that people don’t think about but. It still gets to me every time, cause like
I don’t believe there are bad guys
I think that the difference between a bad guy and a person doing bad things is the capacity to do better, and I think that labeling anyone as a “bad guy” both absolves them of accountability and robs them of agency
And I think that everyone I meet who is in act of making bad choices is capable of doing better
Like whether or not they choose to, they could, and that’s both a gift and a responsibility that differentiates a human being from a random force of nature
If I didn’t believe that, I don’t think I could be here
#You aren’t a bad person even if you’re making bad choices#that’s both absolution and condemnation at the same time#Again#I get that it’s not that deep#I understand it’s a joke#but it doesn’t feel like one#teablart
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ref
a satisfactory answer for Selina
#bruce wayne#batman#selina kyle#catwoman#batcat#bruce#selina#mine#my art#i wanted to make the bat ears fold back SO badly but it looked too odd . unfortunately#wanted to put the collar ON HIM too but also it looked too out of place. SAD .#oh my GOD i forgot i could add IDs to these pictures now !!!#just finished adding that#i will see if i can do that for the other images i posted on this blog#anyway#thats her pookie bear.... her discord kitten...#who said that#this is what batcat is . to me . not that deep#just playful. selina gets to cause a little mischief whenever she wants and bruce gets be ouppy when he wants#thats just what the file names are LOL ouppy 1 2 and 3#in another post i may feel inclined to expand on it instead of in these tags#just know that there are very few people he would let restrain him and she is one of them. they just vibe like that.#younger bruce DOES follow her like a little duckling for these kinds of things. older bruce is too miserable to do fwb w anyone anymore#so they just enjoy each others company and reminiscence#mm. alot of tags for a shitpost.
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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'Not now, not in front of--'
#fenhawke#dragon age#dragon age 2#fenris#garrett hawke#las!art#how was your holidays break las?#pretty great#chased the broodiest of elves#managed to get some kisses in the end#drawing them older#because i adored the blue wraith design before really knowing fenris in general#man i've been in DA fandom for a decade now but never really got around to REALLY play let alone finish DA2#so happy i finally managed#i'm SO DEEP#also floppy ears are my fave thing#last drawing of the last year hahah
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I really don't care where we end up as long as we're together.
#in the far future; an old lady who looks suspiciously like me: 'and for my 25th birthday my buddy mike gave me garashir canon'#the random stranger next to me: 'ok grandma lets get you back to bed'#trekedit#lower decks#ds9#garashir#startrekedit#lowerdecksedit#ds9edit#star trek#star trek lower decks#star trek deep space nine#lower decks spoilers#tvedit#also: updated cameos gifset is in the works 😭 but at this rate i expect the entire tng cast next ep so I'm gonna wait for that obv
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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Happy Holidays from the sillies!!
[Please do not steal, trace, repost or modify my work]
#orionsart#The tree is made out of metal scraps#i thought i was clever with that 💀#anyway snuck in some obligatory orion/d-16 bc i said so#Orion: You like the view? 😏 D-16: ORION GET YOUR AFT OUTTA MY FACE#bee is the star of the show#lmao see what i did there? heh#okay sorry that was a bad joke#anyway#elita doesn’t really do the festivity stuff#but she will for her friends bc she loves them deep down somewhere#transformers#art#bumblebee#artists on tumblr#transformers one#b 127#small artist#transformers fanart#maccadam#elita one#elita 1#tf one#tf fanart#megatron#d16#megop#merry christmas#happy holidays#yippieee!
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2025 is the year of the DRAGON SLIPPERS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#eyestrain#(just a little) (that purple is a beast)#happy new year everybody!#still catching up but i needed to bust in to be extremely validated about some anime slippers#I KNEW IT i knew he'd have some doofy footwear!!!!#they're even actually dragon slippers!#i just got the wrong end of the dragon. whoops.#god. i love this idiot so much.#lilia really does have the best character development huh#lilia 600 years ago: i exist only to defend my kingdom against humanity. (eats a frog without breaking eye contact)#lilia today: wah i stubbed my toe :( i can't find my eyelash curler :( the sun is too bright :(#(this is not a complaint i genuinely love this silly grampa)#most relatable groovy ever tbh#sigh. i gotta have a serious think about my keys now.#i didn't get ANY of the new cards (not even the srs...)#i did get bloom lilia(!!!) from the mission pulls so that kinda made up for it but now i'm like#weighing the odds that birthday malleus is going to be in sweatpants...#i just feel deep in my bones that this upcoming mal card is going to be the funniest yet#(and this is saying something considering his og card literally is wearing a little frilly sash that says 'birthday boy')#honestly though no matter what malleus wears it's going to be incredible#this man has such an intrinsic vibe of dark hooded cloakiness that whenever he wears anything else it's guaranteed hilarity#sometimes i like to think about how he just wanders around campus in his little blazer and tie and it's the best
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
#this is the sort of observation I make here that people#go off and write their thesis about#so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this#if you do use it as a springboard#tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you#like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important#I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain#it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion#it’s a cowboy hat btw#and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this#especially if you correct me after a long research journey#GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!
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atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren
#back to my roots#atla#zuko#sokka#toph#avatar the last airbender#avatar#to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things#a) it’s a joke i made while high#b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12#c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post#and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep#art#my art#my fan art#fan art#is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows#im high and its 2am lets get wild
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baldurs gate 3 companion headcanons:
- gale talks in his sleep
- astarion once made karlach laugh so hard that she sprayed fire out of her nose
- shadowheart can and will hurt anyone on purpose, but if she accidentally hits someone/steps on their foot she secretly feels REALLY bad about it
- when karlach told gale she hadn’t read a book since primary school he nearly passed out
- wyll is an emotional drunk. he has cried about the stars being beautiful and about how proud he is of his companions
- lae’zel learned her favorite trick from some of the tiefling children: sticking her tongue out at people she hates
- when she thinks everyone is asleep, jaheira sings old lullabies. minsc and wyll are the only ones who have heard, but they don’t say anything because they don’t want her to stop
- the children love to put flowers in halsin’s hair. he loves it too, and will return the favor if they ask. he once did it to an unenthusiastic astarion, who ended up secretly liking it
- minsc takes the BEST care of his nails. boo’s too, obviously. he has let yenna paint them once or twice
- everyone has a lowkey crush on wyll
- when no one is looking, astarion likes to feed and pet scratch and the owlbear, making comments about how they’re the cutest ones there (besides him) and no one gets him like they do
- karlach asked wyll for dance lessons. she never quite gets the hang of it, but she has fun, and wyll is proud of her
- astarion and shadowheart pretend to hate each other, but gossip about everyone else when they’re not looking
- everyone actually really enjoys gale’s cooking but they’d rather die than admit that
- girls night: shadowheart and lae’zel are at each other’s throats with daggers. karlach is passed out on the floor. jaheira is drinking all the ale she can find. everything’s on fire. the next day they look back on this fondly
- boys night: halsin and gale are laying on the ground to look at the stars, stoned out of their minds. wyll and astarion are pouring their hearts out to each other. minsc and boo are making dirt castles. the next day they pretend none of it happened
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#shadowheart#lae'zel#karlach cliffgate#wyll ravengard#halsin#jaheira#minsc#gale dekarios#guys I’m in so deep. I finally get all the hype for this game#anyway pls enjoy I had fun doing these#my post
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
#book 22#im verh drunk#hi#greatest hits#not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok#is everyone just at the shiva#yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags#i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this#but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk#this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting#more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish#but again this isnt about sitting shiva#this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad#idk what to tell u man#legendary warrior
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Shout out to FNAF phone guy finally getting a name!
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#phone guy#fnaf ralph#william afton#spring Bonnie#FNAF the week before#SO idk if yall heard#but a new fnaf book is about to drop but some folks got it early#and the book is called ‘the week before’#and it stars phone guy! official name revealed to be Ralph!#I’ve seen a few pages of it already and god it’s peak#phone guy is officially a full character now#SO in celebration I wanted to draw something out for him!!#William just calling Ralph ‘phone guy’ over and over#cause the book mentions too 💀 phone guy is his canon nickname in fnaf too#SO silly love it gonna get this book no doubt to read in full#fnaf is so good rn guys I’m deep in it 🩵#so expect more arts 🩵🩵🩵
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.
like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been
#like you get why all the fics about those two are insane right. the narrative is just so goddamn compelling#and thats not even getting into the whole thing abt the serum curing steve of every ailment except his love for bucky#which makes him realize it was never an ailment to begin with (despite the commonly held beliefs about homosexuality in the 1940s)#and bucky being *electroshocked* again and again into forgetting steve#like howd you make your gay ass movie that gay and not realize it. its kinda impressive#sorry for the ridiculous stucky retrospective its 4am and i rewatched the winter soldier recently#its not that deep. its not its not its not . but if it was anything other than what it is it could have been. and thats the worst part#shut up riley#marvel#stucky
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I cannot over-emphasize the degree to which ive been preparing my entire life for this moment @jone-slugger
#i saw this post and immediately knew what i had to do i felt like joan of arc getting a message from god#it was perfect timing because ive been itching to draw this scene again anyhow. lol#star trek#ds9#mirror worf#mirror garak#elim garak#worf son of mogh#worf rozhenko#deep space nine#star trek ds9#leia bikini#digital art#procreate#star trek fanart#suggestive
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