#I get over it by putting the situation into true perspective

[mathmusic8]

The Chosen show does such a good job with portraying real struggles from everyday life. We talk a lot about Matthew (for good reason), and I just also want to say that I love Andrew.

As a snarky younger sibling and as someone who struggles with anxiety myself, I really appreciate how Andrew was cast and all the mannerisms he uses—the stuttering, the gasping, the way his desperation feels real—it’s very well done.

I do have one criticism about the show, though, and this might just be a me thing, but I didn't like how they changed that one line in the Sermon on the Mount to something like “Who can add a single hour to his life by being anxious?”

That was pretty jarring to me, mostly because that’s not what Jesus said (unless there’s a cultural euphemism that I’m missing here). He said, in essense, “Who can make themselves a foot taller by being anxious?” (Matthew 6:27) which feels like a pretty different message than talking about lifespan.

I mean, there are lots of things that we do that affect our lifespan, but there aren’t many ways we can just grow a foot taller, especially for adults.

To me, the Savior is emphasizing that we don’t need to worry about things we can’t control. And even with things you can control, remember to seek God first, and then the rest will fall into place better.

Maybe that’s ultimately what the show was trying to say as well, but I disagree with the notion that making choices out of anxiety won't affect our lifespans, because they very much can. If I wasn't an anxious driver, I wouldn't pay near so much attention to the road, and that could lead to serious consequences. And yeah, there's a fine line between being anxious and just being mindful, but we're getting into the weeds here and that's not the intent of this post.

My point is that the original imagery that the Savior used was much simpler, and it resonated with me (an anxious person) a lot better, and I was sad that the writers of The Chosen felt the need to make that change to the sermon.

Still love the show though. Even this one criticism has led me to think a lot about the Sermon on the Mount this week and how it relates to me specifically, which has been super cool

[mzap]

[felikatze]

ISAT and Ludonarrative Harmony: Combat is a Storytelling Tool

Or: How Siffrin is stuck in the endgame grind, forever

Please Note: This is primarily aimed at an audience that already played In Stars and Time, because I am bad at explaining things, and it's good to already know what the fuck I'm talking about. I tend to only bring up game elements as I want to talk about them.

Spoilers for.... all of ISAT! Especially Act 5!

(image to show how i feel posting this and as an attention grabber over my wall of text)

To pull a definition of ludonarrative harmony out of a hat, game writer Lauryn Ash defines it as follows:

Ludonarrative harmony is when gameplay and story work together to create a meaningful and immersive experience. From a design implementation perspective, it is the synchronized interactions between in-game actions (mechanics) and in-world context (story).

It is, generally speaking, how well game mechanics work hand in hand with the story. I, personally, think ISAT is an absolute masterclass of it, so I want to take a look at how ISAT specifically uses its battle system to emphasize Siffrin's character arc and create organic story moments. I want you to keep this in mind when I talk here.

So, skills, right? If you've played any turn-based RPG, you know your Fire spells, your "BACKSLASH! AIRSLASH! BACKSLASH!" and the many ways to style those.

Well, what does casting "Fire" say about your character? Not all that much, does it? Perhaps you'll have typical divisions. The smart one is the mage, the big brawny one is your tank, the petite one's the healer. And that's the barebones of ISAT's main party, but it's much more than that.

Every character's style of combat tells you something about them. Odile, the Researcher, is the most well-travelled and knowledgable of the bunch. She's the one with the expertise to keep a cool head and analyze the enemy, yet also able to use all three of the Rock-Paper-Scissors craft types.

To reflect her analytical view of things, all her skill names are just descriptive, the closest to your most bog-standard RPG. "Slow IV" or "Paper III" serve well to describe their purpose. The high number of the skills gives the impression there were three other Slow skills beforehand - fitting, considering the party starts at level 45, about to head into the final dungeon. She's also the oldest, so she's the slowest of the bunch.

Isabea, the Fighter, has all his skills in exclamation points. "YOUR TURN!!!" "SO WEAK!!!" "SMASH!!!" they're straightforward, but excited. He's a purposefully cheerfull guy, so his skills revolve around cheering on his allies. He's absolutely pumped to be here, and you see that from his skill names alone.

Mirabelle, the Housemaiden, is an interesting case. She's by all means the true protagonist of this tale - She's the one "Chosen by the Change God," the only one who survived the King's first attack, the only one immune to his ability to freeze time, the only dual-craft type of the game - just a lot of things. And her skill names reflect that facade she puts on herself - she can do this, she can win! She has to believe it, or else she starts doubting. This is how you get "Jolly Round Rondo" and "Mega Sparkle Heal" or "Adorable Moving Cure." She's styled every bit a sailor scout shojo heroine, and her moveset replicates the naming conventions of "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"

Even Bonnie, the Kid, who can't be controlled in combat, has named craft skills. And they very much reflect that Bonnie is, well, a kid. "Wolf Speed Technique" or "Thousand Blows Technique" are very much the phrasings of a child who learned one complicated word and now wants to use it in everything to seem cooler than they are, which is none, because they're twelve.

Siffrin's skills are all puns.

You have an IMMEDIATE feel for personality here. Between "Knife to Meet You!" and "Too Cleaver by Half," you know Siffrin's the type to always crack a joke no matter the situation, slinging witticisms around to put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame. It's just such a clever way to establish character using a game mechanic as old as the entire history of RPGs.

This is only the baseline of the way the combat system feeds into the story, though.

The timeloop, of course, feeds into it. Siffrin is the only character who retains experience upon looping, whereas all other characters are reset to their base level and skills. And it sucks (affectionate).

You're extremely likely to battle more often the earlier in the game you are - after all, you need the experience (for now.) Every party member contributes, and Siffrin isn't all that strong on their own, since they focus on raw scissor type damage with the addition of one speed buff. (Of course it's a speed buff. They're a speedy fucker. Just look at him).

At first, the difference in level between Siffrin and the rest of the group is rather negligible. Just a level or two. Just a bit more speed and attack. And then Siffrin grows further and further apart. Siffrin keeps learning new skills. He gets a healing skill that doubles as an attack boost, taking away from both Mirabelle's and Isabeau's usefullness. He gets Craft skills of every type that even give you two jackpot points instead of one - thus obliterating Odile's niche. Siffrin turns into a one-person army capable of clearing most encounters all on their own.

Siffrin's combat progression is an exact mirror of story progression - as their experience inside the loops grows, they also grow further and further away from their party. The party seems... weaker, slower, clumsier. Always back at their starting point, just as all of their character arcs are reset each loop. Never advancing, always stagnant. And you have Siffrin as the comparison post right next to them.

I also want to point out here a change from Act 2 to Act 3 - Siffrin's battle portrait. He stops smiling.

Battles keep getting easier. This is true both for the reason that Siffrin keeps growing stronger even when all enemies stay the same, but also for the reason that you, the player, learn more about the battle system and the various encounters, until you've learned perfect boss clear strategies just from repetition. Have you ever watched a speedrunner play Pokemon? They've played this game so many times, they could do it blindfolded and sleeping. Your own knowledge and Siffrin's new strength work in tandem to trivialize the game's entire combat system as the game progresses.

(Is it still fun? Playing it over, and over, and over again? Is it?)

You and Siffrin are in sync, your experience making everything trivial.

As time goes on, Siffrin grows to care less and less about performing right for their party and more and more about going fast. A huge moment in his character is marked by the end of Act 3; because of story events I won't delve too deeply into, Siffrin has grown afraid of trying something new. And his options of escape are closing in. They need an answer, and they need it fast. He doesn't have the time or patience to dumb himself down, so you unlock one new skill.

It doesn't occur with level up, or with a quest, or anything at all. At the start of Act 4, it simply appears in Siffrin's Craft skills.

(Just attack.)

No pun. No joke. Just attack. Once you notice, the effect is immediate - here you have it, a clear sign of how jaded Siffrin has become, right at every encounter. And it's a damn good attack, too! The only available attack in the game that deals "massive" damage against all enemies. Because it doesn't add any jackpot points (at least, it's not supposed to), you set up a combo with everybody else, but Siffrin simply tears away at the enemy with wild abandon. Seperated from the rest of the party by the virtue of no longer needing to contribute to team attacks (most of the time. It's still useful if they do, though).

Once again, an aspect of the battle system enhances the degree of separation between Siffrin and the static characters of his play. You're incentivized to separate him, even.

Additionally, there are two more skills to learn. They're the only skills that replace previous skills. You only get them at extremely high levels, the latter of which I didn't even reach on both of my playthroughs.

The first, somewhere in the level 70 range, Rose Printed Glasses, a paper type craft skill, is replaced by Tear You Apart. It's still a pun about paper, but remarkedly more vicious.

The second is even more on the nose. At level 80, In A While, Rockodile!, a rock type craft skill, is replaced by the more powerful Rock Bottom.

I didn't get to level 80. If you do, you pretty much have to do it on purpose. You have to keep going much longer than necessary, as Siffrin is just done. And the last skill he learns is literally called Rock Bottom.

What do I even need to say, really.

Your party doesn't stay static forever, though.

By doing their hangout quests, side quests throughout the loops that result in Siffrin and the character having a heart to heart, all of them unlock what I'd call an "ultimate" skill. You know the type - the character achieved self-fulfillment, hit rank 10 on their confidant, maxed out their skill tree, and received a reward for their trouble.

These skills are massively useful. My favorite is Odile's - it makes one enemy weak to all Craft types for several turns, which basically allows you to invalidate the first and third boss, as well as just clown on the King, especially once Siffrin starts racking up damage.

But the thing is. In Act 3, when you first get them, yeah, they're useful. But... do you need them? After all, they're such a hassle to get. You need to do the whole character quest again, you can't loop forward in the House or you'll lose them. If you want to take these skills to the King, you need to commit. Go the full nine-yards and be nice to your friends and not die and not skip forward or skip back. Which is annoying, right?

Well, I sure did think so during Act 4. After all, a base level party can still defeat the King, just with a few more tricky pieces involved. Siffrin can oneshot almost all basic enemies by the time of Act 4. It's this exact evalutation that you, the player, go through everytime you return to Dormont. Do I want this skill, still? Would it not be faster to go on without it? I'm repeating myself, but that's the thing! That's what Siffrin is thinking, too!

I also want to take a quick moment to note, here - all skills gained from hangouts have art associated with them, which no other skills do. This feature, the nifty art, hammers home these as "special" skills, besides just how they're unlocked.

Siffrin also has one skill with associated art.

Yeah, you guessed it, it's (Just attack.)

At first, helping the characters is tied to a hefty in-game reward, but that reward loses its value, and in return devalues helping Siffrin's friends every loop. It's too tedious for a skill that'll make a boss go by one turn faster. You, the player, grow jaded with the battle system. Grinding experience isn't worth it, everybody's highest levels are already recorded. Fighting bosses isn't worth it, it's much faster to loop forward.

Isn't this what all endgame in video games looks like? You already beat the final boss, and now... what challenge is left? Is there a point to keep playing? Most games will have some post-game content. A superboss to test your skills against, but ISAT doesn't have any of that. You're forever left chasing to the post-game. That's the whole point - to escape the game.

As most games get more difficult as time passes, ISAT only gets easier. The game becomes disinterested in expanding its own mechanics just as I ran out of new things to fight after 100%-ing Kingdom Hearts 3. Every encounter becomes a simple game of "press button to win."

The final boss just takes that one up a notch.

Spoilers for Act 5 ahead boys!

In Act 5, Siffrin utterly loses it. His last possible hope for escape failed him, told him there's nothing she can do, and Siffrin is trapped for eternity. So of course, they go insane and run up the entire House without their party.

This just proves what you already knew - you dont need the party to proceed. Siffrin alone is strong enough. And here, Siffrin has entirely shed the facade of the jokester they used to be. Every single skill now follows the (Just attack.) naming conventions. Your skills are: (Paper.) (Rock.) (Scissors.) (Breathe.)

To the point. Not a moment wasted, because Siffrin can't take a moment longer of any of this. Additionally, his level is set to 99 and his equipment becomes fixed. You can't even pick up items anymore! Not that you needed them at this point anyway, right? Honestly, I never used any items besides the Salty Broth since Act 2, so I stopped picking items up a long time ago. Now you just literally can't.

Something I've not talked about until now - one of the main equipment types in this game are Memories, gained for completing subquests or specific interactions and events. They all by and large have little effects - make Odile's tonics heal more, or have Mirabelle cast a shield at the start of combat. For the hangout events, you also gain an associated memory that boosts the characters' stats by 30. It lets them keep up with Siffrin again! A fresh wind! Finally, your party members feel on par with you again!

...For a time. And just like that, they're irrelevant again, just as helping them gave Siffrin a brief moment of hope that the power of friendship could fix everything.

In Act 5, your memory is set to "Memory of Emptiness." It allows you to loop back in the middle of combat. You literally can't die anymore. Not that Siffrin could've died by this point in the first place, unless you forgot about the King's instant-kill attack. This one memory takes away the false pretense that combat ever had any stakes. Siffrin's level being set to 99 means even the scant exp you get is completely wasted on them. All stakes and benefits from combat have been removed. It has become utterly pointless.

Frustrating, right? It's an artistic frustration, though. It traps you right here in Siffrin's shoes, because he hates that all these blinding Sadnesses are still walking around just as much. It all inspires just a tiny fraction of that deep rolling anger Siffrin experiences here in the player.

And listen, it was cathartic, that one time Siffrin snapped and stabbed the tutorial Sadness, wasn't it? Because who enjoys sitting through the tutorial that often? Siffrin doesn't. I don't, either.

So, since combat is an useless obstacle now meant to inspire frustration, what do you do for a boss? You can't well make it a gameplay challenge now, no. The bosses of Act 5 are an emotional challenge: a painful wait.

First, Siffrin fights the King, alone. This is already nervewracking because of one factor - in every other run, you need Mirabelle's shield skill, or else you're scripted to die. You're actually forced to fight the King multiple times in Act 3, and have to do it at least once in Act 4, though you'll likely do it more. Point is: you know how this fight works.

You know Siffrin's fight is doomed from the outset, but all you can do is keep slinging attacks. Siffrin is enough of a powerhouse to take the King's HP down, what with the healing and buff skills they have now, not to even mention you can just go all in on damage and then loop back.

(And no matter which way you play it, whether you just loop or use strategically, it reflects on Siffrin, too. Has he grown callous enough not even death will stop their mission? Or does he still avoid pain, as much as he can?)

This fight still allows you the artifice of even that much choice, not that it matters. The other shoe drops eventually - Siffrin becomes slower, and slower. Unsettling, considering this game works on an Action Gauge system. You barely get turns anymore. The screen gets darker, and darker. Until Siffrin is frozen in time, just as you knew he had to be, because you know how this encounter works, know it can't be cleared without Mirabelle.

And, then, a void.

Siffrin awakens to nothingness. The only way to tell you've hit a wall is if Siffrin has no walking animation to match your button inputs. You walk, and walk, until you're approached by.... you. The next enemy encounter of the game, and Siffrin's absolute lowest point: Mal Du Pays.

Or, "Homesickness," in english. If you know the game, you know why it's named this, but that's not the point at the moment.

Thing is, where you could damage the King and are damaged in turn, giving you at least a proper combat experience, even if its doomed to fail, Mal Du Pays has no such thing.

You can attack. You can defend. But it is immune to all attacks. And in return, it does nothing. It's common, at least, for undefeatable enemies to be a "survive" challenge, but nope. The entire fight is "press button and wait." Except, remember the previous fight against the King? The entire time, you were waiting for the big instant death attack to drop. That feeling, at least for me, carried forward. I was incredibly on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, as is a pattern, Siffrin is, too. As Siffrin's attacks fail to connect, they start talking to Mal Du Pays.

But he gets no response, as you get no attacks to strategize around. The wait for anything to happen is utterly agonizing. You and Siffrin are both waiting for something to happen. This isn't a fight. It just pretends to be. It's an utter rugpull, because Siffrin was so undefeatable for most of Act 4 and all of Act 5 so far. It's kind of terrifying!

and it does. It finally does something. Ma Du Pays speaks, in the voice of Siffrin's friends, listing out their deepest fears. I think it's honestly fantastic. You're forced to just sit here and listen to Siffrin's deepest doubts, things you know the characters could not say because it references the timeloops they're all utterly unaware of. This is all Siffrin, talking to himself. And all you, all Siffrin, can do, is keep wailing away on the enemy to no effect whatsoever.

So of course this ends with Siffrin giving up. What else can you do?

And then Siffrin's friends show up and unfreeze them and it's all very cool yay. The pure narrative scenes aren't really the main focus but I want to point out here:

A) Mirabelle is in the first party slot here, referencing how she's the de facto protagonist, and Bonnie fills in the fourth slot left empty, which shows all characters uniting to save Siffrin

B) this is the only instance of the other party members having act specific battle icons: they're all smiling brightly, further pushed by the upbeat music

C) the reflecting shield Mirabelle uses to freeze the King uses a variation of her hangout skill cut in, marking it as her true "final" skill and giving the whole fight a more climatic feeling.

It's also a short gameplay sequence with Siffrin utterly uninvolved in the battle. You can't even see them onscreen. But... it feels warm, doesn't it? Everybody coming together. Siffrin doesn't have to fight anymore.

At last, the King is defeated. Siffrin and co. make for the Head Housemaiden, to have her look at Siffrin's sudden illness. Siffrin is utterly exhausted, famished, running a fever. And this isn't unexpected - after all, their skills in Act 5 had no cooldown. For context, instead of featuring any sort of MP system, all skills work on a cooldown basis, where a character can't use it for a certain number of turns. The lowest cooldown is actually Siffrin's Knife to Meet You, which has a cooldown of 1. In universe, this is reasoned as the characters needing a break from spamming craft in order to not exhaust themselves.

Siffrin's skills in Act 5 having no cooldown/being infinitely spammable isn't a sign of their strength - it's a sign that he refuses to let himself rest in order to rush through as fast as possible.

Moving on, Siffrin panics when seeing the Head Housemaiden, because seeing her means one thing: the end. Prior to this in the game, every single time you beat the King, the loop ends when you talk to the Head Housemaiden.

Reality breaks down, the whole shebang. It's here that Siffrin realizes - they don't want the loops to end, because the end of their journey means their family will leave, and he'll be alone again. The happiest time of his life will be over.

Siffrin goes totally ballistic, to say the least.

As it turns out (and was heavily foreshadowed narratively), Siffrin has been using Wish Craft to subconciously cause the timeloop because of their abandonment issues. It's rather predictable if you paid attention to literally anything, but it's extremely notable how heavily Siffrin is paralleled to the King, the antagonist they swore to kill by themself at the start of Act 5. The King wants to freeze Vaugarde in time because it is, in his mind, "perfect," for accepting him after he lost his home - a backstory he shares with Siffrin.

Siffrin has become the exact antagonist he swore to kill, and it's shown by how the next fight utterly flips everything on its head.

Siffrin is the final boss.

In a towering form made of stars, Siffrin looks down at their friends. His face is terrified, because of his internal conflict; he can't hurt his friends, but he can't let them go, either. The combat prompt is simply changed to "END IT!"

This fight is similar to the previous, in that you just need to wait a certain number of turns until its over. However, this time, it's not dreadful suspense. It's... confusion, and hesitance.

You have two options for combat: Attack your friends, or attack yourself.

And... you don't really want to do either, I think. I certainly don't. But what else can you do? It's Siffrin's desires clashing in full force. Attack your friends, and force them to stay? Or attack yourself, and let them go safely without you?

Worth noting, here - when you attack Siffrin's friends, you can't harm them. Isabeau will shield all attacks. And when you attack yourself, Mirabelle will heal you back to full. And the friends don't... do anything, either. How could they? Occasionally, Mirabelle heals you and Isabeau shouts words of motivation, but the main thing is...

(Your friends don't know what to do.)

None of them want to harm Siffrin. Both sides simply stare at each other, resolute in their conviction but unwilling to end it with violence. It's of note that this loop, the last one, is the only loop where the King isn't killed. Just frozen. And now here is Siffrin, clamoring for the same eternity the King was. Of course everything ends in a tearfilled conversation as Siffrin sees their friends won't leave him, even after the journey ends, but I still have to appreciate this moment.

Siffrin is directly put in the position with their friends as his enemies, forced to physically reckon that keeping them in this loop is an act of violence, against both their friends, and against himself.

It's a happy ending. But... what does it mean?

Of course, ISAT is obviously about the fear of change. Siffrin is afraid of the journey ending, and of being alone. However, ISAT is also a game about games. Siffrin is playing the same game, over and over, because it's comforting. It's familiar. It's nice, to know exactly what happens next. These characters might just be predictable lines of dialogue, but... they feel like friends. Have you ever played a game, loved it, put countless hours into it, but you never finished it? Because you just couldn't bear to see it end? For the characters to leave your life, for there to be a void in your heart where the game used to be?

After all, maybe it became part of your routine! You play the game every day, slowly chipping away at it for weeks at a time. For me, I beat ISAT in four days. It utterly consumed me during this time. I had 36 hours of playtime by the end. Yeah, in that week, I did not do much more than play ISAT.

And once i beat it, i beat it, again. I restarted the game to see the few scenes I missed, most specifically the secret boss I won't talk about here. I... couldn't let go of the game yet. I wanted to see every scrap I could. I still do. I'm writing this, in part because I still do. It's scary to let go.

Ever heard the joke term of "Postgame Depression?" It's when you just beat a game, and you're suddenly sad. Maybe because the ending affected you emotionally and you need to process the feelings it invoked, or you search for something that can now fill your time with it gone.

The game ends, for real this time, the last time you talk to the Head Housemaiden. But Siffrin gets... scared. What if everything loops back again? And so, his family offers to hold his hand. They face the end, together.

For all loops, including the ending, you never see what happens after. After they leave the loop for good. Because the loop is the game itself. It's asking you to trust that life goes on for these characters, and it holds your hand as it asks you to let go. There's a reason for Siffrin's theater metaphors. He is the actor, and the director, asking everyone to do it over one more time. He's a character within the game, and its player.

There's a reason I talked about endgame content. This, the way it all repeats, there's nothing new, difficulty and stakes bleed away as you snap the game over your knee - it's my copy of White 2 with two hundred hours in it. It's me playing Fire Emblem Awakening in under 3 hours while skipping every cutscene. Are you playing for the sake of play, for the sake of indulging in your memories, because you're afraid of the hole it'll leave when you stop?

Of note: the narrative never condemns Siffrin for unwittingly causing their own suffering. He's a victim of circumstance. It's seen as endearing, even, that Siffrin loves their friends to the point of rather seeing the world destroyed than them gone. But Siffrin is also told: we'll stay with you for now, but we'll part ways eventually. And one day, you'll have to be okay with it.

Stop draining the things you love of every ounce of enjoyment just because you're afraid of what happens next. I'm not saying to never play your favorite games again. Playing ISAT a second time, I still had a lot of fun! I saw so many new things I didn't before, and I enjoyed myself immensely, reading the same dialogue over and over. But... it makes me look at other games I love and still play, and makes me ask... is this still fun? Do I still need to play this game to enjoy it? Even writing this is an afterimage of my enjoyment, but it's a new way to interact with the game, to analyze it through this lens. Fuck, man, I write fanfiction. Look at me.

All of this, fanart, fanfic, analysis, is a way to prolong that enjoyment without making yourself suffer for it. Without just going through the motions of enjoyment without actually experiencing any. But one day, the thing you love won't be fun to talk and write and draw about. And it's okay. You'll have new things to love. I promise.

In the end.... I'm certain I'll replay ISAT one day. Between great writing, art, puzzles and unresolved mysteries, it's my shoe-in for game of the year.

But I won't replay it for quite some time. I've had enough, for now, so I let my love take other forms.

Siffrin is never condemned, because love is no evil. Be it love for another person, or for a game. And please, if you're overempathetic - it's still a game, at the end of the day. The great thing about games is that you can always boot them up again, no matter how long its been.

A circle within a circle indeed.

To summarize:

The repetitiveness of ISAT's combat, lack of new enemies, and Siffrin's ever increasing strength eventually allows you to snap the combat over your knee, rendering it irrelevant and boring. Though this may seem counterproductive at first, it perfectly mirrors how Siffrin has also grown bored with these repeated encounters and views them only as an obstacle to get past. The reflection of Siffrin's own tiredness with the player's annoyance increases the compassion the player has for Siffrin as a character.

Additionally, the endgame state of the combat system serves as commentary on the state of a favorite game played too often, much like how Siffrin has unwittingly trapped themself in the loop. Despite the game having no more challenge or content left to over, a player might return to their favorite game anyway, solely to try and recreate the early experience of actually having fun with it. This ties into ISAT's metanarrative about the fear of change and refusal to let go of comfort even when the object (here, your favorite video game) offering that comfort has become utterly bereft of any substance to actually engage with. Playing for the sake of playing, with no actual investment to keep going besides your own memories.

Later on, stripping away even the pretense of strategy for a "press button and wait" format of final bosses highlights the lack of options at Siffrin's disposal and truly forces the player into their shoes. Truly, the only way to win is to stop playing.

[lurkingshan]

I absolutely loved the first two episodes of Love in the Big City, and I thought all of the adaptation choices were brilliant, but the part that hit me most as I was watching and that my mind keeps circling back to relates to this question from @bengiyo:

In the novel, we see everything through Young's rather biting and cynical internal monologue, while in the drama we see other characters through a broader lens. With this different perspective, how does Mi Ae's outing of Go Yeong and the fallout change compared to the novel?

I think for me, this shift that allowed us to see Mi Ae outside of Yeong's perspective enhanced my empathy for her and for the choices she made. Because it all comes back to this quote, originally from the novel and used verbatim in the show:

"Through me, she learned that being a gay man sucks, and through her, I learned that being a woman equally sucks."

Yeong and Mi Ae connected with each other because they were both living outside the accepted norms and were isolated and lonely as a result. The forms of oppression they experienced were not the same, but it was a point of connection and the foundation of their deep bond. They fell in love with each other because of their shared choice to be themselves loudly, and fuck the social consequences. They were each other's most important person, regardless of who they were dating. And so when Mi Ae, shaken up after her abortion and exhausted by trying to fight the social tide, made the choice to stop being true to herself and conform, of course Yeong felt abandoned. And then when she outed him to protect her conformity, betrayed.

In the novel, we learn about Mi Ae (Jaehee) outing Yeong (Young) from him, and it's presented to us as a callous betrayal, because that's how it felt to him. But in the show, we get to see Mi Ae make that decision. We see how cornered she felt when her boyfriend confronted her about the lies she'd been telling, we see his genuine (justified) upset at learning she'd been living with a man he doesn't know, we see her panicking and reaching for something to smooth it over, and we can see that in the moment, it feels reasonable to her to tell her partner the truth. We can see that it wasn't malicious, and she did not intend to hurt Yeong.

But it still hurts, because in making that decision, she implicitly acknowledged that Yeong is no longer her most important person. Someone else, or at least the idea of what he represents, became her top priority, and she protected her romantic relationship rather than protecting Yeong. She still loved Yeong, but she wouldn't put him first any longer, and when she made that choice their relationship as they knew it was over. Mi Ae was ultimately captivated by the allure of social acceptance, and she chose a path of conformity that was not open to Yeong--she is, after all, a cishet woman and able to revert to societal expectations much more easily than Yeong ever could as a gay man who would struggle to pass even if he wanted to. Her choice was confirmation that, in fact, their situations do not equally suck, and she retreated to her privileged identity, leaving him behind.

And so we come to the scene that punched me in the heart more than any other in this first section: the two of them singing together at her wedding, taking one last glorious moment to be themselves again in front of people who would never understand them. In that moment I felt so sad for Yeong, that this relationship that meant so much to him was irrevocably changed, and for Mi Ae, that she abandoned these aspects of herself out of fear and committed herself to a man who looked stunned to see a glimpse of the real her. And more than anything, I felt sad about how isolating and alienating it feels to simply exist in the margins of what is socially acceptable, that conforming is always the easier choice for those who can hide, and that Yeong was once again left to struggle alone.

[etherfabric]

Which part of you wants to be felt? + Affirmations

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You have free will. I merely provide my perspective in these readings. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does.

Pile 1

Death, Wheel of Fortune

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

The part of you that wants to be felt is your optimism. This feels to you like putting a boulder on a butterfly - dooming it from the beginning. You lost all trust in your right and ability to imagine good scenarios. Anytime one creeps up to you, you swat it away like an insect carrying a disease. True, you had to face some dark truths about the world and yourself - but don't forget why you started this process: You wanted to be happy and healthy again.

This means recalibrating your focus on what is good and fun. Things that make you glad to be alive. Even if you will fear losing them all over again. But if the past taught you one thing, it should be your ability to stand up and rebuild, right? You and your skills are the secret ingredient. You can afford risks. You are abundant in your ability to find the next good thing. Looking back at all you lost, doesn't it make sense? Didn't it make room for all this, that is so much more you? Whatever loss you will have to face in the future will just be the predecessor of an even further upgrade. Don't wait for guarantees. Seize what you have now, and trust in divine timings. You will get your fill. But you have to give access to your cup first.

Your affirmation is:

I am aware that being happy means I am on the right path.

Pile 2

5 of Wands rx, The Fool rx

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

The part of you that wants to be felt is your willingness towards repair after conflict. I know there have been countless occassions where you were the "stupid" one to extend a peaceful hand first, only for it to be slapped away, or used to pull you down even further. No one deserves that, you included. While we can't expect a foolproof (eheh, because of the Fool, get it? ...sorry) guarantee to always have the right timing with our peace offers, it's still worth a try. I feel this resentment towards yourself for being even able to do that. "Not this idiot again getting us hurt even further after a fight." But this idiot is exactly the one who will bring you closer to those who actually just had a bad day when they hurt you. Who truly wished things would have been different. And are probably desperate to reconnect, but just don't know where to even begin. You do. Dare to risk it again.

It might bring up old pain that feels unbearable, but remind yourself (if you can) that you are much more powerful than in the past, where those low blows were truly devastating. They will never feel nice, but if you let them be a reason to never get close to someone again, you run the risk of being lonelier than you'd realistically have to be. The malicious intent you feel might be a remnant from unprocessed hurt, instead of a reliable source of purely present information. Let the dust settle and reassess the situation. If in the calm, this still feels like war, and you worked through your shadow to see clearer, then by all means, please leave. But don't destroy something good because it touched a sore spot.

Your affirmation is:

My capability to show my true feelings is always a step towards love and life.

Pile 3

The Star, 2 of Swords rx

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

The part of you that wants to be felt is your faith, to be more precise, your confidence in being worthy of having faith. You are still on the fence with a lot of big and small things regarding it. You feel like you just started consciously allowing yourself to even entertain that dimension of existence, that there might be more than the eye can see, that science and logic don't paint the whole picture. Even reading that sentence felt kind of... wrong, right? That's actually super normal. This image of sudden enlightenment, never waivering in one's beliefs and always flowing on a cloud of omniscience and serenity is a product sold to us. To keep us discouraged from our inner strength and voice, and assign our own power to supposedly better people than us. "I am having doubts, I feel kinda silly doing this sometimes, I forget a lot of the practices, I do it haphazardly, I don't cleanse/pray/meditate/worship/offer/affirm enough, or do it the wrong way..." And then we feel guilty when we turn towards our faith in times of desperation and hopelessness, despite our "lousy performance".

Pardon my french, but cut that shit out. You are worthy. You are a spiritual being, point blank, whether you are in a ceremonial robe humming psalms or sitting on your toilet watching TikTok. Performance doesn't determine relevance. Performance or lack thereof will never be able to erase the deep truth you already tapped into. You discovered your spiritual side, but not in lieu to your physical, logical self - no one wants you to abandon or replace anything. It's an addition for the spaces 3D can't fill. The times you turn towards it are exactly the times you should. Give yourself grace and patience to let this gigantic new dimension unfold in its own time for you. It's a lot, and that's the beauty of it. Now, with this, there will always be something new to learn and explore!

Your affirmation is:

There is no way to get my life wrong. My connection to source is eternal.

Pile 4

5 of Pentacles rx, Temperance

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

The part of you that wants to be felt is your relief. When I tap into your energy, it matches the archetype of a man on his porch with a shotgun in his lap. He is already falling asleep in his rocking chair, because there is no actual danger present that would cut the lulling sound of crickets, but then this thing inside his head goes off and he jolts awake to point the weapon at the dark. There hasn't been an intruder or dangerous animal in years, but he is so afraid of it happening again, that he ruins his own divinely orchestrated time for recuperation.

Yes, the horrors of the past were real, but you can wait forever to feel relaxed now that it's over, if you don't loosen your grip on your defenses (which are, quite frankly, premature offenses a lot of the times). It will feel terribly vulnerable and like the dumbest thing you could ever do, but your body needs your help. It. Is. Tired. Being scared is hard work. I know I am being the opposite of original here with my suggestions, and I invite you to moan your annoyance clearly, and roll your eyes at me with vigor when I say: Deep breath in, hold it for as long as you can, and exhale slowly. Repeat until you feel different. It might take a while, depending from how high of an adrenaline level you have to climb down, but golly, you need it. Don't be surprised if a pocket of fear comes up to be felt, the up and down is the way it goes towards equilibrium. Just keep breathing, dear. Your body knows the rest.

Your affirmation is:

I have the power to create peace within myself.

[moonbaetarot]

Pick a pile

What makes you a good person

1. 2. 3.

Pile 1

Your a peaceful person you like to keep your peace. Your someone who goes with the flow your ok with change and new things even if your scared of a situation you know it’s all going to be ok. You stay true to yourself you’re not flashy you don’t flex your money or newest finest things you have. You see things from every perspective you’re not quick to judge you know everyone comes from different paths in lives and may see things differently. You may have struggled with mental health, anxiety or depression in your childhood or teen years this really played a part in who you are today. You may be a teacher or want to be a teacher of some sort or had a teacher in your life who you looked up to I’m getting miss honey and Matilda vibes. You make what seems impossible possible. Someone here could be 22. You have a lot of stability you’re ready for anything. You see everything as an opportunity. You don’t let people get in the way of your path in life. You know how defend your self you usally don’t tho if someone says something about you you just like I feel sad for them like “you must be miserable to hate on me” but if you need to defend yourself you’ll snap and get your point across.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 2

Being a good person may feel hard sometimes. it’s like you do everything for everyone and get nothing back. You over work yourself for people who don’t deserve nothing from you. You’re worrying about pleasing others over your own happiness. You may feel like being a good person gets you nowhere. (I’m sorry love if someone in your life and doesn’t appreciate you you need to cut them off you deserve so much more then people who don’t appreciate all you do, you are so important and you will find someone that will appreciate you.) You take care you others I’m getting empathetic energy like if someone around you is sick your fast to get them whatever they need because you remember what it’s like to be sick so you wanna help them get better. You stay committed your very goal oriented if you put your mind to something you’re doing anything to get there. Someone here may be very close to their grandma or used to when they were little. You find a way to see the joy in fun in life even when things aren’t easy. You’re good at giving advice you know just what to say in any situation. Someone here may have very long hair or like to their elbow. You know how to keep a promise. You need to learn to cut people out your life love someone in your life isn’t good for you.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

Pile 3

You use past situations to help better yourself. You work well with other people and groups. People see you as approachable you have a very friendly energy about you that makes people wanna talk and be friends with you. I feel like you’re a very good friend always checking up on people making sure everyone’s ok and making sure no one feels left out when y’all hangout. I feel that sometimes your face may say other wise tho lol someone here may have a rbf or just look mad or tired sometimes. You are good in relationships you were made to me a lover I’m hearing “best I ever had”. When you have kids you’re going to be the best parent you are going to love those kids so much And unconditionally. I feel like having kids is going to change you for the better if there things you don’t like or flaws you have become a parent is going to change all of that. I feel like you’re a trustworthy person people trust you with many things. You look out for people you love and protect them from people with ill intentions Your able to see the bad in people and they will think there slick and getting away with it but you see right through them. You have a mothering healing energy people feel safe around you being around you just feels like a big hug. You have a very soft submissive girly energy.

Thank you for reading loves! 🤍

[juniperpyre]

canon lily evans: who is she? part 1

there have been many fanon iterations of lily j. evans over the past two decades. she's been a perfect mother and wife, a goody two shoes who plays by the rules and makes sure everyone else does, she's been a kind, intelligent, beautiful dream girl, a genuis, fighting badass who takes no shit and solves everyone's problems, she's been a bitch, she's been an incubator.

it's hard to make an argument for or against any of these traits. we see little of her in canon, and much of it from highly biased sources (petunia, severus). nonetheless, lily j. evans has a canon foundation. let us explore.

we first hear of lily as she is mourned by professor mcgonagall, hagrid, and dumbledore. we see little to no characterization beyond the intensity of sadness all three feel over lily and james' deaths. plenty of people have died in the war, but lily and james' death seem to hit hard.

we hear lily's voice with harry for the first time in the third book, as she begs voldemort to spare her son.

we do not hear about her again besides references to harry's eyes until the 5th book.

snape's worst memory

we first see lily from snape's perspective, in his memories.

what an introduction. lily and james are at odds and it's lily that broke her way into the confrontation. she does not hesitate to command james, or to show her anger. but she also speaks cooly. she only shouts once to get james' attention as she's walking over and then chooses her words carefully. her goal is to hurt james, to shame him enough that he backs down.

we can see from her multiple insults to james—unnecessary, she could simple tell him to stop more, or appeal to his good nature, or get a teacher, or try to disarm him—that she is choosing cruelty in this moment. she believes james is behaving badly (unjustly, perhaps) and her method to stop him is publicly insulting him. the punishment matches the crime.

this all shows a decisiveness to lily's actions. she is sure of herself, quick thinking, she values justice more than popularity, and she is okay with being mean. if someone, james in this instance, has transgressed far enough outside of morality she is fine with using immoral behavior to put them in their place.

we could argue that insulting james is not immoral behavior, or that lily does not believe it is. but the fact is lily is trying to (emotionally) hurt james to protect snape when she has by-the-book options. she is not an idealist, and does not seem a goody-two shoes. (of course, she could've attacked him, but that wouldn't de-escalate. she's not a violent person, or too impulsive).

and then we come to this moment. still in the introduction to lily's character, snape calls her a Mudblood.

lily does not shout. she blinks. she responds with an insult meant to further humiliate snape.

james shouts. james is ready to attack over the use of a slur, but lily is not. perhaps this is because the consequences will always be worse for her. perhaps she knows reacting will give the bigots watching satisfaction. perhaps her emotions are too private for this moment. whatever reason, lily is in control, and she uses insults to regain her power.

"you're as bad as he is"

i rarely see this line worked through in jily fics. this line shows the deepest insight into lily's perspective. it is the first time she shouts, it's an emotional reaction. comparing james to snape may be a cruel statement designed to hurt james, but because lily did not deliver this line cooly, with foresight, i believe it is her true feelings.

she proceeds to insult james with, imo, fairly trivial bullshit, aside from the hexing. it's not that these actions are so horrible; lily is angry at james for his attitude. james gets to walk the halls without a care in the world and he clearly carries a sense of superiority. he isn't thinking about how his actions affect others. he doesn't have think about the sociopolitics of a situation until someone is shouting Mudblood in his face.

this is why lily sees james as bad as snape. james thinks he's a good guy, but he's contributing to a school environment where two rich pureblood boys get to torment whoever they like! he's not fighting bigotry just because he doesn't use slurs. james is ignorant and doing harm, like most teenagers.

lily sees the way both boys are hurting people, many of them vulnerable, and can't see a true difference. fair enough!

the next we hear of this is confirmation from remus and sirius that lily did not hate james, and that james became less of a dick. I'm sure both of these men remember james and lily overly-fondly. however, i believe their statements create a sketch of what happened off the page. james matured. there isn't a comment on lily maturing, however.

the memory highlights lily's self-control, her Machiavellian perspective on combating wrongdoing, her deep rooted anger and morals, her wit, and her strong sense of loyalty.

it isn't until the 6th book that we receive more insight into lily's character. this comes from horace slughorn, her potions master.

horace slughorn & lily evans

he remembers lily as one of the brightest students he ever had. vivacious means full of life, animated. though it also indicates attractiveness, i find it meaningful that slughorn isn't commenting primarily on lily's appearance or her kindness but on her passions and spirit. it leads me to believe that slughorn did care about lily as a person.

slughorn also says lily is charming and cheeky. all of his descriptors point towards an attractive and friendly personality, but not one with a strong fondness for rules. she's cheeky to a teacher, and that is not the trait of a goody-two shoes, a stick in the mud, or a doormat of a housewife. lily has beliefs that she will be made known, even if it may go against the grain.

we saw in snape's worst memory that lily used insults to keep control of a situation and express discontent without showing too much emotion. she had a sharp tongue and a quick mind that she used in all situations. though she showed parts of herself and her beliefs that were not popular, she was keeping aspects of herself guarded. this is shrewd and indicates a keen understanding of social politics, and possibly unhealthy emotional repression.

furthermore, slughorn believes she could have been in slytherin. he could tell that she used social manipulation. i do not think lily put on a mask, but she was particular with what parts of herself she allowed people to see. this also leads me to believe lily did not play by the rules when it came to success, that she showed ambition and cunning. slughorn liked successful students—even in the horrible political climate he saw her going somewhere.

in a highly emotional moment, slughorn says that lily is very brave and very funny. he can't imagine someone not liking her. people are better remembered in death, but slughorn is consistent in highlighting her humor. we also see a mention of her bravery. perhaps this is something he realized once she'd died. more likely he saw it in her during her school years.

the repeated traits we see from teenage lily in severus' memories and slughorn's recollection are being quick-witted, humorous, and brave/justice-seeking. she has a playful disposition and seems to have a secure sense of boundaries and decent emotional regulation for a teenager.

in her negative traits, we observe a propensity to use cruelty as a tool. however, we only see this in an intense moment. lily is not openly shown as someone with true bad traits, or as someone who changes over time, in the first six books.

james is given that complexity. snape's worst memory shows a pivotal moment for both men. this is the scene's point in the narrative: to offer complexity to these men. but is it a pivotal moment for lily? she is used to further both men's character development, but we see no change in her.

part 2 will discuss what we learn about lily in the 7th book.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁; this is my personal way of coping with burnout, it may not work for you, but feel free to share in the comments the things that make you feel better when you feel this way ( blogger's note at the end of the post ).

𝟭. recognize the signs ( 🏳️ )

the moment of denial is over. i know, burnouts always come at the worst times when you have upcoming exams and a thousand things to do, but ignoring it won't get you anywhere, on the contrary, it will only prolong the worst, so recognizing and accepting the signs of burnout is the first step to getting out of it. if you don't end it, it'll end you, right? some common symptoms of burnout are exhaustion, excessive irritability, hormonal imbalances, change in appetite (too much or too little), sleep irregularities, increase in nervous tics.

𝟮. take time off ( 🫧 )

allow yourself to rest and recharge by taking a break from work or other stressors. depending on the severity of the burnout you may need an afternoon, or perhaps a couple of days to recover, it's not important, the important thing is that you reserve some deep rest that can really recharge you to start studying/working again. put off all non-essential tasks, put your phone on do not disturb mode and allow your brain to rest. if you have slept little in the previous days, taking a nap will not be bad.

𝟯. set boundaries + practice self care ( 🌱 )

establish clear boundaries between work and personal life to prevent burnout from reoccurring. prioritize activities that promote physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies. i personally love taking care of my body doing beauty treatments that make me feel better about myself. i also deep clean my room and change my bedsheets, if it's true that the mess in our room is a reflection of the mess in our mind i can't see why it can't go both ways: removing the mess from my room is like cleaning my head from the stress in it.

𝟰. rearrange priorities ( 🐝 )

delegate everything you can delegate, you can't do everything alone and it's normal to seek support from colleagues and family. reorganize yourself so you have a plan to follow as soon as you recharge your batteries. ask yourself what led to burnout, was it the workload? in that case breaking it into smaller tasks could make it less onerous. maybe it was it's difficulty? maybe asking for help or using some time for additional research might work. in short, prepare a realistic scheme to follow to tackle the task.

𝟱. seek support ( ❣️ )

talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and experiences to gain perspective and emotional support.

𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 hi everyone, it's no secret that i've posted very little in the last week, but unfortunately i experienced a bad burnout that incapacitated me for a few days. family circumstances, academic stress and the arrival of spring have added up to take away the strength to do anything from me, but i'm here to recover and here is a simple guide that i always follow when i find myself in these situations. on the one hand i'm happy tho, it's my first burnout since i started university, eight months ago now, i remember that when i was in high school they were much more frequent and long, i feel i've become much more stable.

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/11

Some of yall were saying that 1111 seems very special, and I agree after doing this read today!

Seunghan

Knight of Pentacles

Today it seems as though he is being very patient. Honestly this energy is very...different than usual. Leading me to believe he has been in direct contact with something that has solidified such a perspective. The Knight of Chalices tried to come out while I thought about this. I will revisit this later.

But generally, these are good vibes, and a sign of hard work and endurance. He is willing to wait for good results and feels good about how he is approaching the situation.

Sungchan

Ace of Wands

With the Ace of wands I believe he is very excited for something. This card came out quickly before I even asked him what's up lmao. Just by saying his name it flew out. This adds to that sentiment. I think there has been some news delivered to them because as you may notice while I go through the members, he energy has shifted slightly as they are a lot less "accepting passive waiting" and more so dreaming, excitement, satisfaction. This stands true for Sungchan. He is actively throwing himself into this news or new endeavor. Generally good vibes today.

Anton

Knave of Wands

This has a similar vibe to Sungchan, except he seems to be a bit weary over getting too excited. Still, this is very naiively active and exciteable energy. The Knave here symbolizes a lot of thrill to the situation. There may be fun sides as well, but Anton seems to have some anxiety, or maybe he is distrustful of the messemger sending the good news. Either way, the energy is still generally good. He is just anxious.

Eunseok

Knight of Chalices

Lol so here with the Knight of Chalices, I had mentioned earlier that this tried to come out during my pull for Seunghan as well. This, to me, indicates that Eunseok and Seunghan may be interacting closely today and on the same wavelength. It seems they are bringing something to the table for each other that is much needed; being supportive physically and emotionally.

Focusing on Eunseok, today is very good energy for him. He is feeling a lot more expressive and open and able to relax a lot more than he may normally. At the same time, he is very pointedly not alone in doing that. Both his and Seunghan's cards are also knights. I really do think they are in direct, prolonged contact.

Wonbin

5 of Swords

This was a little weird. It seems that Wonbin feels very thrilled about something himself, but is acknowledging that others may not feel the same and is concerned about this a little bit- more so annoyed than actually feeling bad. The vibe is like "lol get over it" but it's a clear bitter acknowledgment. This is the first time he has really been particularly bitter towards any party while I read for him. I pulled the 9 of Pentacles while thinking over this and confirming this was how he felt (which i did not keep and will discuss later) and then 6 of Wands (victory) when revisiting to finalize the take. He is feeling victorious and laughing at the people against him right now. Good vibes, lmao.

Shotaro

4 of Chalices

To me, it made sense why Shotaro went when he went in this order because it makes his card make a lot more sense. I think that everyone is desperate for the good news, for a resolution. I think that Shotaro is really not satisfied with this. I don't see this in a harsh way, but in a semi playful or maybe sarcastic way. Kind of like, "And why couldn't you do this before??" He is not acknowledging any effort being put in to relay whatever news was received. And/or he may not even be satisfied enough with the content altogether. Is he feeling not good? No. He is just annoyed.

Sohee

9 of Pentacles

So, going back to Wonbin- I also pulled this card when clarifying if he really felt that way before. Since Sohee got this card, I think they are sharing very similar feelings today. Sohee is very satisfied with something/some news received, and if feeling like he can finally sit down and breathe without going crazy. He feels as though things are falling into place.

Bottom of deck:

The World

Very very strong vibes here. The end of a cycle and the beginning of the new. The energy surrounding them all right now is seriously giving "flipping to the next chapter".

I also want to note the fact that I kept on seeing the Chariot (7) card every time I split the deck to bridge shuffle.....👀👀

Final Notes:

This "good news" i spoke of seems to be something that is a good omen. But to be very clear, this news was not something that was 100% the outcome, the verdict, nor what was to happen. In simple terms, it's like if you are writing a paper and turn it in to peer review and everyone tells you great news that it's looking really good. That doesn't mean your professor will find it very good, too. It just means that there are some active things working in your favor.

So here, it seems there are some things that SM has expressed to the members that have lifted their spirits. Some take this at face value with caution, and others are taking it as positovely as possible. But this is not the end all be all. It is just the beginning and a good sign.

Please continue to boycott as usual and support Seunghan.

[bitethedevil]

Raphael and his weaponized mortality

I think it’s pretty clear from that “I am no mortal!” quote that his mortal ancestry isn’t exactly a source of pride for him. However, I still think that he utilizes it to it’s fullest. As I have talked about in an earlier post about the whole problematic situation with Haarlep: Raphael knows how to turn shit into gold. I definitely feel like this “pretending to be mortal”-thing is a big part of his character, the more I think on it. Here’s some of my thoughts:

His smell: Weird to start off with, I know but it’s the thing that actually led me to think on this. I read somewhere that cambions are entirely carnivorous, which means they have a predatory stench to them. This is interesting because Yurgir describes him as a “perfumed trickster”. He covers up the thing that would biologically make a mortal think “danger”.

His questionable poetry: While I do think it’s something he genuinely enjoys; I also think it seems like a bit of an unorthodox interest for a devil (I could be wrong). What is interesting is if you bring Karlach to the entrance to the mausoleum, she comments on his poetry and he answers something along the lines of “I’ll admit, it’s not my main interest…not by any stretch”. Poetry is something that speaks to our feelings, so it’s not weird that a devil whose emotional life is a bit different from that of a mortal, would be ‘bad’ at it. Even though the poetry that Raphael recites usually leans towards the macabre, it still sort of humanizes him that he would have an interest in such things. It is also an attempt to speak directly to our feelings (fear often in his case). The way that he says it’s not his main interest also points to the fact that he literally uses it as a tool. I think it’s the same with his theatrical nature: it’s simply him playing a human. I really do wonder how he would interact with another devil if there was no one else in the room.

His ’angelic’ complexion: In Last Light Inn, if you reveal that he is a devil to Mol, he says something along the lines of “She’d never take your word for it…not with my angelic complexion”. I could be wrong, but I’ve also read a few places that when the Flymms (Gortash’s parents) signed over Gortash, it was to a warlock. Some places I’ve read that it was a warlock OF Raphael’s, others say that the warlock WAS Raphael. This makes me wonder: How often does he show his true nature to clients before they’ve already signed, like he did with us? Or at the very least, he waits to reveal his nature until the person can’t run or are out of options. It’s then interesting to think about how transparent he is about his nature to us in comparison right from the get-go. I believe this is because he truly believes that we need the hammer, and thus there’s not as much of a reason to pretend.

I just think it’s interesting and I think it is probably the most terrifying thing about him. It puts the “I am no mortal” quote into another perspective for me. It’s who he is beneath it all that peeks through for a moment. It must also be infuriating to him that the very source of his success is due to how good he is at playing into his mortal side. It also begs the question of how much of all of this pretending has bled into his life over the years, because we see that he still talks sort of poetically (and even almost emotionally) in his private diaries. His allegiance is to the devil side of himself, but I really do wonder how much he has to suppress small aspects of the mortal side.

[billcyphersballsack]

Actually no joke I need to see more slay the monster (or whatever the reverse au is called) content.

I need to see the princesses perspectives translated into voices I need to hear how they think how they process. So much of (some of) the perspectives power comes from their control over their situations and I wanna know what they’d do with that partially taken away

I need to see the voices translated into perspectives I need to see how their forms are twisted and shaped by the princesses interactions with them.

I NEED to see how the narrator would respond to the shift. The entire reason the voice of the hero initially puts doubt in the player and hints that the narrators word might not be law is by pointing out the obvious tonal dissonance of a hero SLAYING a princess rather than SAVING her. But that doesn’t exist with slay the monster. The narrator wouldn’t need to work as hard to convince the player that they’re doing “the right thing” cuz it’s a monster! It’s chained up and dangerous and going to hurt a lot of people if you don’t kill it! The voice of the princess (my decided title for the VOT Hero in this au cuz obviously the actual Princess would be called the shifting mound the same way we’re the long quiet) would then have to take an angle of “we’re supposed to protect our subjects and our people. Monster or not, isn’t that what this creature is?” Which is still an appeal to the common trope as well as your morality. The narrator would play into your role as a princess like crazy going on about your duty to protect the world you rule over and to save innocent people who’s lives are in your hands, basically what he does to the long quiet but more

Mostly though I just think an inverse of their situations in the cabin would be fun. The chapter one princess is such an interesting character because she’s not the perfect victim. Her honey sweet voice and her doe eyes and her innocent scared demeanour aren’t necessarily fabricated just overplayed. She is genuinely scared, that’s the part that’s true, everything else is a desperate appeal to your humanity that you’ll let her go. It becomes somewhat real in the damsel rout when you free her and warn her and fight tooth and nail to save her, but for the most part it’s for show. If you come down there with a knife or decide mid convo you’re actually gonna kill her for real she drops it. She’s harsh and cold and keeps you at arms length, she acts bored and above it all when she speaks to you picking at her nails and glaring at you. GRANTED THAT COULD ALL BE WRONG! Maybe the harsh and cold personality is the fictitious one, a front built up to protect herself from danger, and really the frightened and desperate personality is the real one. MAYBE THEY’RE BOTH REAL! OR MAYBE THEY’RE BOTH MADE UP. It’s probably that last one but for the sake of my bit we’re going with the first one.

The point is the princess tries to appear put together and composed in both these versions of her personality, but deep down she’s like a caged wild animal and isn’t afraid to act like a caged wild animal if she has to

Now imagine the inverse of that, for The Monster

Outwardly a beast who smarls and claws at every surface trying to break free from its prison. If you bring the blade it slinks into the far corner of the room and hisses and spits while you trying and communicate with it but if you go unarmed it will lunge at you held back by its chains just barely. It’s frightening it’s threatening there is no attempt to appeal to any morality or present a domineering front to strong arm you into doing what it wants, it’s just pure violence and fear, a creature who wears its emotions on its sleeve. Depending on what you do it’s iterations become more or less beastly (I’d imagine guys like Stubborn or Broken or Hunted or Cold would get even more violent or reactive but guys like Paranoid or Opportunist or Cheated or Contrarian would have a more pensive and thoughtful approach, you can decide for the rest) but as you play and as you try and speak with it you discover actually there’s a lot more complex thought behind its eyes, and once the fear subsides there’s a person with throught and feelings hiding under all those feathers and teeth. Also not the perfect victim, they also bite the hand that feeds, but like a little to the left you know

Can you tell? Can you tell it’s like a worm digging into my frontal lobe and eating away at my brain? Huh? Can you tell???

[sillygoosealert]

WAITTTT…..Bi Hans baefy has him wrapped around their finger so what about Bi Han introducing him to the earthrealm crew like Johnny and Kung Lao and yknow Johnny being Johnny tryna get in them panties so Bi Han starts going off on him and reader is just like “don’t do that” and whispers something in his ear so he just hangs his head low and begrudgingly apologizes

Beefy man with beefy arms

DOWN BOY DOWN

Bi-Han being silly (he was upset), fluff (??)

Holding hands, you walk with Bi-Han and his brothers to a place you have yet to be

He changes his hand placement, putting it on the small of your back instead

They're there for a meeting but brought you along to keep him sane

However, before the meeting, a few people wanted to see you

Was it that shocking he could possess feelings for another soul? Perhaps

They are diverse, to say the least

A blind swordsman, who is quite nice

A humble hero

A not humble not hero

And a movie actor

A cocky movie actor, but he is a friend of Tomas’s, so you can not say much

But he has a lot to say, too much one would enunciate

‘Damn baby, you might have to give me mouth-to-mouth because you just took my breath away’

A crude, disgusting comment that does not need to be heard through your pure ears

That's what was going through Bi-Hans head

‘You imbecile, such- such fowl words. Do not talk to her like that, as you have no respect behind your words.’

He's fuming, steam is practically coming from his ears

You put a hand on his shoulder

‘Don't, it's not worth your time. He should not be riling you up this much.’

What you say is true, but a feeling of pride is also running through your thoughts at his immediate defense of you

He grunts like some caveman, maybe it is code for something you haven't figured out yet

After staring at Johnny for a good minute, he formulates something

‘My..apologies for lashing out Cage. Please understand I did not mean offense in my words’

‘I get it, I would say the same thing, man. We're cool’

he cackles, slapping his knee as he quickly defuses the situation

Do you think he has ill intentions? Not at all, he's just a guy trying to lighten things with awful jokes and pickup lines

Maybe you could shed that light on Bi-Han later, show him your perspective

He likes it when you do that, talk to him

Maybe it's not obvious, but he loves talking

To you at least

Late-night chats as he lays his head on your thighs

But right now he just wants to get everything over with, and that's fine

It's fine now, no harm is done and no one is upset and saying something about it

The rest of the day goes smooth

You talk to Bi-Han when the time is right

And he sees your view on it, and you see his. He feels better after the talk

He handled it well, you're proud of him

What should have happened 😔🎀

[hermetiqa]

What do you need to hear right now?

Daily Message: 30.07.24

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS

TIP ME HERE

FEEDBACK

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it especially since I've decided to do daily message readings from now on.

Pile 1

You might have a lot of dreams especially at the present time, and you have the power to turn these dreams into your reality. You already have all the things and abilities you need to make them come true, you just need to have faith in yourself that you can make them come true and that they will come true. Don't be afraid to take risks and grab the opportunities that come to you. This is a reminder that you have to celebrate your successes, accomplishments and all the good things that come into your life too. There may be times that you tend to look at the darker side of your perspectives in life and situations that you go through, but the cards suggest that you should embrace the positive side. You should learn how to let yourself be who you truly are and embrace your inner child, especially heal it. Whenever you go through a difficult path in your life, keep in mind that there's always light at the end of the tunnel. All your hard work is paying off. You're on the right path. I'm getting 222, which is an angel number that you might be seeing lately, whether 2:22 on the clock, 222 on plate numbers, etc. You're in the right place at the right time. You have a lot of potential to reach your goals, you just have to have faith in yourself. Be confident and stay on the positive side, don't let your negative thoughts take over your mind. Other than that, as much as you're focused on your goals and you really want to achieve them, don't forget to keep your connections with other people. Especially the ones who support and inspire you. Never forget to surround yourself with people who are healthy/not toxic, even the ones whom you think are better than you or have achieved more than you did. This is not a competition. And in reality, these people are good for you as they can even help you get through it.

Pile 2

This is a reminder to never forget to take some rest, you need it. You need to take some rest from the outside world and focus on yourself as well. Take a break from the things that are draining for you. Set aside those things that exhaust you, especially if it's mental exhaustion and it's leading you to a burnout. Take some time to recharge and don't feel guilty about doing so because it's totally alright, you need that. I feel as though you're spending too much time when it comes to your finances, career, and even studies. This is your reminder to balance that and your own well-being. Take some rest and clear your mind because you're a logical and intellectual person. You can rely on your mind because this isn't what drives you to negative thoughts but your determination to succeed. You tend to rush things and push yourself beyond your limits. You can trust your mind and your own self, and you need to put your trust in it. I can also see that you're almost there. Your goals are just a few steps away. So this is your reminder to let yourself rest and take a deep breath before continuing to move forward. After letting yourself recharge, you can continue moving forward despite any setbacks that you may encounter. You might be tempted to rush things even more and push yourself beyond your limits because you're almost there, but this is a reminder that reaching your goals will be nonsensical if you're burned out when you're already there.

Pile 3

To those who are drawn to the 3rd pile and chose this, your message is the most serious of all. I would consider this as the "most important" or "urgent" to be heard. Because you have the tendency to fall into addictions. I feel like this is your coping mechanism if you struggle too much and you don't know how to handle it. This is your reminder not to let yourself fall into your own trap that you're unconsciously setting yourself up to. Be mindful of your tendencies to fall into your addictions and being dependent on things, and even people. This is your wake up call to cope up in healthy ways and let go of the unhealthy ones. I can see that you're currently struggling in a difficult situation and you're the type of person who would use your logic and intellect to get out of that situation. The only problem is that you tend to depend on your unhealthy habits and addictions, maybe alcohol or smoking or maybe even winning something. Maybe you've been obsessed in winning something lately. Because I can see that you'll be celebrating some achievement. You worked hard to achieve this goal of yours and you'll feel like a victor because this is a huge milestone for you. You'll get recognized for your hard work. When this victory comes for you, this is a reminder not to forget to be grateful of your success. Don't forget to celebrate your success and share your gratitude with others. Other than that, don't forget to share your ways in achieving this success to others. Do not gatekeep, because what goes around, comes around.

[badgerbl00d]

one piece boys with a jealous gf

☆ characters: zoro, law, sanji

☆ up next: cuddling with one piece boys ft. shanks, rayleigh, benn and roger

☆ a/n: for the anon request about being jealous of the boys... i deviated a little from the request but this will definitely have a part 2!

zoro 

“Three hundred million, hm?” she said batting her lashes at him, “With muscles like that I guess it’s not really a surprise!”

Zoro absent-mindedly nodded, much more focused on the katana in front of him. 

“What’s this one?”

“That’s a newer model, popularized in the East Blue. Fishermen designed it.”

“It’s lousy.”

She frowned, pouting her lips out, “That’s too bad, it looks nice when you use it.”

He gave a hmph in response, still mainly focused on the array of swords in the store. 

“Why don’t I show you a Wazamono we have in the back?”

Zoro paused for a moment, thinking about the offer.

“Alright,” he shrugged, and like a dumb puppy, started following her to the back.

You should have been shopping with Nami, but the two of you were rather unsatisfied with the stores you had to choose from and ended up going to get some snacks instead. 

And thanks to this unexpectedly short shopping spree, you had been outside the weapons shop watching most of this exchange.

Your cheeks turned a violent shade of red and Nami insisted that he was probably totally oblivious to the flirting. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

She sighed, “I guess not… Why don’t you go after him?”

“That’s embarrassing, and you’re probably right anyway.”

You sat with your shoulders crossed and closed your eyes, letting out a long exhale as you tried to think of something else.

“Oh, look! They’re coming back out.”

You decided you might as well go in now before your idiot of a boyfriend dug himself any deeper. 

You were seething as you made your way toward the shop, the woman very obviously lowering her shirt collar in front of him. 

“Zoro!” you walked into the shop, not even glancing towards the saleswoman. 

“Hi, Y/n,” he muttered, using different grips to try out the swords, recognizing you immediately, even if just by your voice. 

“Anything good?” you asked, slightly irritated when he didn’t even turn to look at you and called you by your name instead of his usual ‘baby’. 

“No,” he replied, still toying with the weapon.

You indulged in a small smirk as you watched the expression on the girl’s face turn into one of irritation. She rolled her eyes. 

“Are you sure you didn’t want to take another look in the back?” she asked, gently putting her hand on Zoro’s- which clearly irritated him, 

“You seemed to like what I had to offer.”

She put on an infuriatingly suggestive tone for the second part of her sentence. 

Zoro held the sword he’d been looking at up, any innuendo flying entirely over his head. 

“That’s true… Yeah, I guess I’ll take another look-”

You slapped the back of his head and grabbed the sword out of his hands, throwing them onto the counter.

“What the hell-”

“We’re going back to the ship. Now.”

You turned abruptly and stormed out of the shop, not bothering to pick up the weapons you’d ‘accidentally’ knocked over on your way out. 

Zoro offered the woman an apologetic look and ran after you. 

Nami was waiting for you both outside, and when he turned to her in hopes of being given some kind of indication of what just happened, she simply said, “You should probably think twice before you flirt with a woman for half an hour in front of your girlfriend.”

Zoro’s cheeks changed colors as he started to realize what everything had probably looked like from an outside perspective.

Oh, fuck.

Zoro decided that being another ฿100,000 in debt to Nami would be worth making it up to you, and after losing his breath trying to explain the situation to you he took you shopping for the rest of the night. 

The next few days you spent docked on the island, Zoro refused to move away from your side. 

And any looks or stares he got from women- young or old, pretty or not- were returned with only the most threatening of glances. 

law

“You can do something right Traffy?” Luffy’s concern for his crewmate made your chest ache, and you desperately hoped that it wasn’t too late for something to be done.

Unexpected cannon fire from a nearby Marine battleship caught you all off-guard and resulted in Nami passing out from a collision with the walls of the ship. 

Law nodded, gently picking her up.

You felt a slightly nauseating feeling forming in your stomach but quickly pushed it away because now was definitely not the time to be feeling jealous. 

You waited with the rest of the Strawhats as he worked on stabilizing her in the doctor’s office. 

Chopper was currently passed out as well from having overexerted himself and falling overboard. 

Usopp had taken care of it and he seemed to be doing okay but there was no way he could have helped anyone in his current state. 

A tense fifteen minutes later Law walked out to inform everyone that it wasn’t as bad of a hit to the head as it had seemed and she’d be waking up in a few hours.

“I’ll still run a few tests once she’s up just to make sure.”

“Y/n-ya,” Law called you over to him, “Want to help with Nami? I could use an extra hand.”

You nodded, happy he asked you. 

You walked with him to the infirmary, and when no one was around he held your hand.

The last thing either of you really wanted was for any one of the Strawhats to know you were together. 

When you entered the room Nami was awake.

“Torao! Thanks for all this,” she gestured towards the bandages and IV. 

“No problem, Nami-ya,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed as he pulled out his stethoscope.

“Write down the info I give you.”

You nodded and started writing down all the different numbers and medical jargon he threw at you. 

He talked with Nami and made no effort to include you in the conversation.

Nami’s chest had been bandaged and you tried your best to not think about the fact that he had been the one to bandage it. 

You fought back the urge to show any irritation on your face.

Law did not want any of them to know about you two. 

You knew Nami was just friendly and probably still kind of out of it, but the sickening feeling of insecurity started to seep into your body and you were becoming increasingly impatient with how damn long this was taking.

He was more talkative than usual, and you were positive that it had to do with the absolutely gorgeous woman in front of him. 

“One forty over seventy.”

He was treating you like a secretary! 

He cracked a terrible joke to Nami and when she actually laughed at it you decided you’d had enough.

You threw the notepad at him and walked out, telling him to take his own damn notes. 

He went to find you a few hours later, and ask if you were okay.

He found you painting your nails in the Sunny’s library. 

“I’m fine, Law.”

“Mmm... Definitely not true,” he said, sitting down next to you. 

“How’s the patient.”

Oh, he thought, That’s what this is about.

“Good. Stable. She should sleep soundly through the night.”

You said nothing.

“I appreciate your help back there!”

He pressed a light kiss to your cheek.

“Mhm.”

After a while of Law trying to get you to talk to him, you relented a little bit and agreed to let him read while you finished your nails.

After an hour you had almost forgiven him entirely, deciding that you were overreacting and it didn’t matter now that Chopper would be able to take care of her. 

You had just settled yourself against his chest when he spoke.

“I have to go check on Nami-ya soon.”

“But Chopper’s able to now.”

Law smiled, “I know. She’s still my patient.”

“I get it,” you said, jealousy having won, “I’d also be eager to play nurse if I had a patient as hot as her.”

“Bingo,” he replied. 

You bit the inside of your cheek and decided not to say anything, simply getting up, batting away his hands when he tried to grab hold of you.

You stormed out, slamming the door shut and ignoring how he called out for you to come back. 

You rolled your eyes as you heard Law laughing to himself. 

Law trusted you with his life. 

He had no secrets with you and you knew everything someone could possibly know about the doctor, reclusive and quiet as he may be.

But, just now, Law decided that there would be one thing you could never know:

How much he absolutely adored seeing you jealous.  

sanji

“Would you like another drink, beautiful?”

You rolled your eyes and hastily closed your book, gathering the few things you’d brought with you to the kitchen. 

“And my gorgeous Y/n-” he paused when he turned to see you headed toward the door, “Y/n where are you going?”

You closed the door behind you, ignoring him. 

It was easy to be jealous when Sanji was your crush. He’d never failed to shamelessly compliment other beautiful women, and you were not a stranger to that terrible feeling of jealousy spreading throughout your body. 

When Luffy announced that Boa Hancock would be staying with you all for a week or so you made a mental note to spend as much time in the library as possible.

You knew what you’d signed up for when you kissed Sanji for the first time, that it was in his nature to be a lover. 

Of course, he was desperately in love with you. If you asked him for something he’d have it done before you could finish your request, and he catered to you like he was your personal butler. 

Even though you weren’t official, it was clear that there were deeper feelings brewing between the kissing and touching. 

He’d never done anything worse than complimenting a woman, and you were beyond positive that he hadn’t kissed anyone after the two of you kissed, but he was so irritatingly articulate. 

You’d feel jealousy cloud your thinking when he’d talk to a woman, using turns of phrase that Shakespeare himself couldn’t have come up with. Of course, he was never more romantic or genuine than when he was with you, but you wanted that attention entirely to yourself. 

Boa Hancock’s arrival and subsequent welcoming had played out exactly as you had expected.

Heat flooded your cheeks and face when you watched a small trickle of blood pouring from his nose, and he ran to greet her. 

You left before you could watch anything else happen and still hadn't so much as introduced yourself to her. 

Logically, you understood that it wasn’t her fault but her insufferable vanity didn’t help. 

And though she never even pretended to entertain Sanji, she clearly didn’t mind the treatment. 

Every meal revolved around her, her favorite foods, and pastries that were pink and heart-shaped. Cocktails and drinks and snacks for Boa. Everything for her. 

You weren’t even sure he had noticed you were ignoring him. 

As much as you hated to admit it, you’d decided to try some tactics of your own. Your skirts got shorter and your heels higher. 

Today you’d opted for a pair of leggings he’d mentioned liking and a sports bra that was low cut. 

It had worked, until she walked into the room. 

You couldn’t exactly blame him, despite your evident dislike for her she was undeniably gorgeous and you caught yourself staring at her more than once. Luckily, you always noticed before she did. 

As you made your way toward the library you saw Sanji through the kitchen window, not failing to notice that he was preparing a mountain of heart-shaped pastries.

What a clown, you thought. 

A sudden clanking of metal jolted you out of your own thoughts. You turned to see Zoro mid-workout, dropping weights onto the lawn, ruining the grass.

He was sweaty and the sun was helping highlight the pounds upon pounds of intricately toned and sculpted muscle that covered him. 

You stared for longer than you meant to. 

“Oi!” Zoro called out to you. 

“Hey, Zoro,” you walked over to him. 

“You okay?”

You nodded, looking up at him with a confused expression. 

“You look like shit,” he explained.

“Thanks, man.”

You asked Zoro what he was up to and he started explaining the different workouts he was doing. 

While he explained you noticed that Sanji could see the two of you from the kitchen window where he was now washing dishes. 

A cruel idea popped into your head and a devilish smile made its way onto your face. 

Sanji wasn’t your boyfriend, and based on the way he’d been acting around every different woman he saw you figured he didn’t want to be. 

If he just wanted to occasionally make out with you and throw his attention and touch at every other woman on the seas then that was fine by you. 

But two could play at that game. 

You made eye contact through the kitchen window, and smiled at him. 

Good. He was watching you.

“Hey, Zoro,” you started, “Need a sparring partner?”

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Yes or No?"

take a breath and think about a question of any type; then choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read your answer.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4 5 6

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

answer: yes even if it's not perfect, it doesn't mean it's necessarily bad: give it a try (trust your intuition). soon a news or someone may come to you, keep working on your happiness and definition of it. act for your own wellbeing first. keep planning. remember you always have a choice too, do not get trapped by yourself/your mind.

song: (everything I do) I do it for you | brian adams

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

answer: maybe you're not considering an aspect of this situation and it's probably what is keeping you stuck somewhere, not allowing you to see how related this is with another side of your story. change perspective, let go of self tormenting, try focusing on this other part to change your result and get rid of that block once and for all.

song: the end | jplnd

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

answer: no it's not the right time now. try to not stress over it too much and just focus on what you can actually control. balance your emotions and do not let them guide you. trust in fate, everything will get clearer at the right time. also, not all the offers and suggestions you get are good for you, pay attention. and take good care of you and how you cope with events.

song: die for you | the weeknd

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

answer: maybe keep healing yourself as your past is probably blocking you or wounding you still. nurture your wounds as they've never been and leave the past where it belongs. you're changing even if you cannot see it, you're being more you. keep going and don't let those little parts stop this amazing transformation happening inside of you. be hopeful and determined. love yourself for having put up with so much like you did.

song: yellow | coldplay

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 5

answer: yes let go, it's okay to enjoy and have fun. you don't have to only focus on the serious side. even if it's only one little happy thing, give it the right attention: do not let the other obligations of the day darken it. go with ease, especially on yourself, and remember that punishing yourself for being wrong or a mistake, it's not worth it. you already feel bad for it, no need to add further pain to the situation. it won't solve it. be nice and compassionate with you: you don't need yourself to be anything else than a friend.

song: amygdala | agust d

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 6

answer: yes take a breath and stay balanced. i think a breakthrough may occur in your life and it will change things quite abundantly. you may be attracting love and success in your career/school too. take time to look inside and check what are your wishes/desires about. stop fighting with yourself and start working together with yourself. someone may guide you through (or you can ask for help to more knowledgeable people), do not stress too much.

song: true love waits | radiohead

[etherfabric]

Messages for Reassurance + Songs

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Knight of Cups, High Priestess

The hope inside of you is not delusion. You are safe to go after the things that seem promising and enriching. The days where you couldn't hear your gut well enough to listen to it are gone. Serendipities of various sizes permeate your day to day life, and it feels almost to good to be true. Did you really make it? Yes, dear. You did. You embraced your shadows enough to bask in the sun again.

Of course this is no utopia, and the frights of the past have sharpened your foresight to real possibilities, but believe yourself when you can't feel any danger closeby. You are stronger, smarter, and in better company than ever before. Now all there is left to do is putting some weight in those timid steps towards your bliss. Don't worry about tripping - you'll land on your foundation and get up again, eyes forward, one foot in front of the other. You will get there as soon as you fully arrive internally, and you are so close to completion already. You will see it once you believe it.

Pile 2

6 of Wands, The Hanged Man

You are exactly where you are supposed to be, in the exact context and circumstances you see at this very moment, inside and out. The conditions are perfect for you thrive in. You might have to get a little unorthodox in your approaches, and the shape of other people's successes sometimes clouds your inspiration, but let good be good enough for now. Think of past you - they prayed to have what you have now.

Okay, yes, they were a little misguided in a few details of their wishes (thankfully rejection is divine protection), and in thinking once you would be here, everything would be perfect - life is still life, you are still human - but the lessons that led you here widened your understanding of how everything had to happen this way. Guess what, future you will look back at this very moment with the exact same wisdom and compassion.

You can work with what you have at your disposal and rightfully expect the glory of tangible progress. Just keep doing what you are doing already, keep it simple and managable, and there will be nothing significant standing in your way. Those bouts of stagnation? That's where the depth of your skills comes from in the first place. Just like muscles, the soul and mind need their periods of liminal passivity to come back with full force to charge you ahead. You are on the right track. You are doing great. You can be proud of yourself.

Pile 3

Page of Swords, 10 of Wands

Oh dear. It's okay to say you are tired. It's okay to break apart. It's okay to hurt and just want to quit it all. Why are you carrying all this by yourself, tasks and thoughts alike? Don't you know the relief once you put them both down? For the thoughts: Speak, write, scream. To somebody, or nobody. The most important part is admitting it. Then at least you are freed of the burden to act like everything is fine. I know you are scared, I know you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place if you knew for sure you could let go. But I trust in the magic of coincidences, and you reading this right now tells me you need to stop swimming against the current and let the flow carry you downstream.

Stop clinging to things that only stay if you wreck yourself. The tide will wash them out of your hands anyway, because soon you will reach your body's limits, and then the decision will be made for you. Let the dam break. Let nature take its course. You are so smart and truly believed the best, I can see that, and it's no lack of character that caused things to go this way. But this wasn't meant for you. I know it hurts. I hurt with you. But once you stop fighting gravity, you will be drawn to what is truly for you. Put the burden down. I know you had the best intentions, but it's over. You can rest now.

Pile 4

9 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles

You already know this, but slow and steady does indeed win the race. Instead of doing a million things exhausting yourself, you are focusing on a handful of daily tasks, knowing they will lead you exactly where you want to be. Time and consistency are on your side. You know you don't have to be perfect and can always pick up where you left off. Appreciation from outside sources resonates with your own satisfaction about how things are playing out for you.

Your longterm goals seem closer than ever. You have your routine down pat, and trust in your ability of finding even better tweaks and spins for it in the future. This calm air of confidence looks so good on you! You have earned it. You can read the signs relative to your success, know which road to take, and which pitfalls to avoid. You feel incredibly rich and know how to pass the time until certain things come to fruition. It used to make you anxious when you were faced with slowpaced processes, and you fell back on less sustainable approaches to selfsoothe. Now you appreciate the journey itself, even welcome the delays, so you have ample time to smell the flowers on the side of the road.