#I genuinely cannot decide which version I like best

[lichfucker]

[image description: three versions of the same drawing of Hendricks from the Fetch Phillips Archives, a thin pale elf with long curly red hair, green eyes, a mustache, and a goatee. he's wearing a light blue ruffled shirt tucked into white trousers and a grey striped blazer draped over his shoulder. he also has dangly gold earrings, matching gold buttons on his pants and jacket, blue nail polish, and a dark cane with a bone handle. he's glancing off to the right with a look of disdain on his face, one eyebrow raised judgmentally. the drawing is done in a graphic style with flat colors and shading implied by thicker, solid line work. the background is muted blue with a thick yellow stripe diagonally behind Hendricks' body. in the first drawing, the line art on each element is a darker shade of its base color (a darker blue on his shirt, darker orange in his hair, etc.); in the second, all the line art is black; and the final version has black line art and no color at all, including a grey background. end id]

drawing hendricks in clothes I saw on pinterest: 4/?

bonus close-ups:

[image description: two close-ups from the version with colored line art. the first is from the chest up, showing the detail in Hendricks' face, hair, and shirt. the second focuses on his hips, his sleeve, and the hand holding the cane. end id]

[sammygender]

thoughts on how the sam & dean part of the fight before sam left for stanford went !

i am addicted to thinking about precanon so thank you for this <33

i think people r generally way too optimistic about how that initial seperation between them went. dean is awful to sam about stanford even years after he left and years after he came back!! hes still very visibly angry about it in s5 which is NINE YEARS after he left in the first place and refuses to even tolerate the idea it was a good moment for sam. i cannot comprehend how people think 22 year old dean had the emotional maturity to even let sam go without a fight, nevermind be supportive about it.

like. theres this amazinggg art on here of sam hitchhiking to stanford and all the comments are like 'erm that black eye would be from JOHN actually!' (side note but it is so funny to me how spn fans decide john hit them based on implication (which i agree w... to an extent...) but dean hitting sam onscreen multiple times somehow translates to 'DEAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT'. erm. okay.) 'nooo dean would've given sam a lift!'

and like. what show are you watching. if dean would've given sam a lift he would've done it to the bus station in moody silence and then locked the doors of the impala so sam couldn't get out to catch his bus to stanford and they would've started physically fighting for the car keys and dean eventually wouldve let sam get them and sam wouldve left. or something. but it would not be some sweet brotherly moment bc that directly contradicts canon <3

i do think the worst of the fight is between sam & john - that's always what's implied in canon - and in my head dean's just standing there stonefaced maybe refusing to even talk to sam until theyre left alone somehow and he breaks. but i also think dean hits sam at some point, will always have the image in my head of sam showing up to stanford w a bloody nose and fending off questions. (internally hes like no my dad didnt do this it was my brother so its fine. <3.) theres a scene like this in one of my fics so im just drawing from that. but. like....

idk how dean/john finds out. if dean found out before john, i think dean probably wouldve run to him about it in an attempt to get sam Not To Go as much as it would be nice if he didnt, so i reckon they have to find out at about the same time. i think sam is unsure what to expect from dean, who of course (as far as we see both in flashbacks and in canon) alternates between genuine care and support and angry, desperate possessiveness. he probably hopes for the best and expects the worst and gets the worst.

there r definitely lots of different ways it could go....maybe sam tells dean and dean tells john. maybe sam tells john without telling dean at all and thats how dean finds out which totally wrecks him. maybe sam tells them both at the same time. maybe sam never tells them and they find the acceptance letter. this is why stanford fight is sooo fascinating. i feel like i could write five different versions of it and all would be possible/interesting.

but whichever way, i just dont see dean as contradicting john. he generally Doesnt Ever precanon, this is established, he admits it himself, thats why its such a huge moment when he defends sam at the end of s1.....sam going on about dean 'protecting him' is 1. more subtle and probably to do with dean being the one to shoulder most of johns emotional baggage than the heller misinterpretation of 'john hit dean but not sam and thats what this means!!!' (tho i am sure dean did genuinely Protect sam sometimes including from physical violence. of course he did. this isnt to discredit that..i just emphasise the Sometimes.). and 2. partially just classic Sam Rewriting History (u always protected me from dad, from lucifer....girl he did those things very little certainly not always. know your worth sam winchester).

so if dean gives sam a very angry lift (to a nearby bus station...there is absolutely zero fucking way hes driving him to stanford and tbh i already find this quite unlikely but possibilities r interesting) its on john's say-so or at least not disapproval. which like. sure maybe. john certainly is concerned about sam's safety even after he kicks him out, checking up on him at stanford etc, id believe that hed want to ensure sam Gets there even if the fight ended up so bad he told sam he couldnt come back. tho hes stubborn and i dont think hed say it. so maybe itd be a case of dean kind of picking up that that's what john wants and complying even though right now half of him wants to never see sam again and the other half wants to tie him to the radiator so he can never leave. sorry i am literally brainstorming fic ideas in this ask answer now.

anyway....SORRY id say long ass answer as always but this is actually INSANELY long......sorry guys im about to embark upon getting tested for adhd and maybe then my rambles will be, while not shorter in length, more cohesive? tldr fandom is wrong dean is an absolute ASS during stanford fight. obviously sam leaving devastates him and how does dean cope with devastation or perceived abandonment do we think?? hm?? he is just as angry as john for the same and different reasons. and thats really so much more interesting than him being Secretly Supportive. <3

[respectthepetty]

Atom is an Orange Oddity!

I watched the Thai remake of My Love Mix-Up for the colors, and I was sure that like the Japanese version, once Atom figured out who he was and what he wanted, his color would emerge. And the finale proved it!

The episode began with Blue Boy Kongthap in their combined green color and Atom in . . . red? orange? In-between! Because Atom still isn't quite sure of himself.

So while Blue Boy Kongthap has so much faith in himself and their relationship that he writes down a wish for them on his blue fish,

Atom still doesn't believe in himself and writes his wish down on a (combined couple's) green fish that gets put through the ringer!

Atom wants to tell their moms about their relationship, and we see this is genuine as they wear their couple's green, but Atom doesn't have faith in himself and believes Kongthap's mom will hate him and his own mother will be disappointed in him.

He freaks out and spills a drink on himself which causes him to wear Kongthap's sweater, but Atom freaks out again and decides not to tell Kongthap's mom thinking he is not good enough to be Kongthap's boyfriend.

It's clear Atom loves Kongthap as he wears the pink sweater with those two orange carrots and Kongthap's name written right over his heart, but Atom still doubts himself, so he rides off on his yellow bike feeling worthless.

But even though he messed up the sweater by machine washing it, Atom did it in a dark blue sweater that had yellow and orange lines on it.

And I got the great experience of seeing that the letters on Kongthap's sweater are blue . . . and orange.

So due to his mom's tough love, Atom gets the push he needs to keep evolving and confess to Kongthap's mom that he accidentally ruined the pink sweater, but that he also loves Kongthap.

And this is where I was reminded that Fourth is one of the best actors at GMMTV because I even teared up when he finally exhaled. This boy SOLD me this moment. I believed in it.

But back to the color evolution! So now that Kongthap's mom approves of Atom, he is finally wearing his color, but he is still figuratively and literally wrapped in the security blanket of his relationship.

And just when I thought he wasn't going to take the final step in his Pokemon color evolution, Kongthap stepped back (in his blue and orange accented hoodie that says GO over the heart in orange!) and gave space for Atom to confess to his mom that he is dating a boy, and I am, once again, reminded in the same damn episode that Fourth is an amazing actor!

Because I felt feelings even though I have been far removed from this story. BIG FEELINGS!

Because even though this story started off with Atom not being secure in his color or himself, his evolution began when he started liking a Blue Boy and he slowly became a Yellow Yal.

And yellow + blue = green, so they were green for so long because that is what was comforting with where they were in their love story.

But Atom and their love have continued to evolve and now that Atom is an Orange Oddity, their couple color also changed.

Because a Blue Boy and an Orange Oddity create a Brown Bond.

But the green cannot be forgotten.

Which is an excellent choice!

So here I sit at the end of this series, and I know with all my heart that the color folks earned their paycheck every single damn episode.

And I love them for it.

[ineffable-endearments]

I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.

The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.

I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.

This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.

In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.

All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)

Aziraphale has really embraced his connection to Crowley in Season 2, and he has also become considerably more assertive toward Heaven and Hell. These are both major growth points compared to the beginning of Season 1.

However, again, we have the concept of growing pains...Aziraphale is starting to re-create Heaven's role in his relationship with Crowley and humanity. It's really obvious with the Gabriel argument and the I Was Wrong Dance, but I think we see it all over the place: he seems to feel any serious dissent is a betrayal. He also seems to assume there's a dominance hierarchy and he, of course, is on top. Now that he's decided to take control of his own future, then surely that does mean he's the one in control, right?

With all that said, he still seems to have trouble being direct about the feelings that make him most vulnerable. He manipulates people and engineers situations in which he can try to get his emotional needs met rather than saying things outright (case in point: the Ball).

Like I pointed out in the bookshop meta: subconsciously, he's playing the role of God, modified with what God would be if She were everything he wants Her to be. He's generous, almost infinitely sweet, always does what's best for people...or, at least, what he believes is best for people. During the Ball, Aziraphale influences the people around him to be comfortable and happy even when they're not supposed to be, and he limits their ability to talk about things he thinks are too rude or improper for happy, formal occasions.

Doesn't this pattern sort of make sense for an angel who's just discovering free will? Like, at the end of Season 1, he made an enormous choice to stand against Heaven and realized he could survive it. Now he's gone a bit overboard with exerting his own will. Unfortunately, while he's learned to question upper management, he's still operating on a fundamental framework of the universe where there have to be two sides and there has to be a hierarchy. Also, since Aziraphale is on the Good side, he of course has to gear his desires into what's Good rather than just what he wants, so he sometimes thinks he's doing things for others when really he's doing things for himself. (For example, matchmaking Maggie and Nina started out as something he wanted to use to lie to Heaven, but by the time he was commenting "Maggie and Nina are counting on me," he seemed sincere, like he had genuinely convinced himself this was for them and not for himself.)

Aziraphale knows Heaven interferes in human affairs, ostensibly on God's behalf. He thinks She should be intervening in ways that are beneficial. What I believe the narrative wants him to learn is that God and Heaven shouldn't be manipulating people at all, not even for Good, and in fact there is no real meaningful hierarchy.

Anyway, a top-down, totally unquestioned hierarchy is the primary social relationship Aziraphale has known, and it's certainly been the dominant one for most of his existence: you're either the boss or the underling, and if someone seriously questions you, they don't have faith in you - they don't respect you.

No, his relationship with Crowley has not always been like that, but they've been creating their relationship from whole cloth, so how would he know it shouldn't become that way, now that it's "real" and out in the open?

No, human relationships aren't like that, but Aziraphale clearly does not see himself or Crowley as human. As the relationship approached something that seemed like it must be "legitimate," Aziraphale would naturally look for a framework to fit it to. And again, the only one he has is the shape of "intimacy," or what passes for it, in Heaven. What has "trust" always meant in all his "legitimate" relationships? It has always meant unquestioning obedience, of course. What have the warm fuzzies felt like in Heaven? Well, praise from the angels above him is nice, so that must be it, right?

Aziraphale even describes being in love as "what humans do," separating out that relationship style. Someday, I think he'll realize he favors the shape of love on Earth, something that's more inherently equal, more give-and-take. Look at how he idealizes it from afar at the Ball. But I think that, like Crowley before Nina pointed it out, Aziraphale maybe hasn't 100% grokked that it can and in fact should work that way for him and Crowley, too. Just like people can desperately want to dance without knowing how to dance, or can desperately want to speak a language without knowing the language, Aziraphale does not instinctively know how to have the kind of relationship where he can be truly vulnerable and handle Crowley's vulnerability as well.

Aziraphale is downright obsessed with French, known as the "language of love." He's trying to learn it the Earthly way. He's not very good at it, but he wants to be.

This pattern is still present during the Final Fifteen even if we assume Aziraphale is asking Crowley to become an angel again out of fear (and I find it very hard to believe that fear doesn't factor in at all). He's still building his interactions off of that Heaven-like framework: he asks Crowley to trust him blindly, he tries to assume a leadership role with a plan Crowley never agreed to and couldn't follow anyway, and he tries very hard not to leave room for an ounce of doubt. He also suggests making Crowley his second-in-command and obviously does not register that this could possibly be offensive. Again, I think this is because for Aziraphale, there has always been a hierarchy in Heaven, it's started to transfer to his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of that assumption about relationships is going to take more processing than a single argument can do.

As I mentioned in another post, I don't believe Aziraphale had a real choice about whether he accepted the Supreme Archangel position. I think he could sense that he was not getting out of it and chose to look on the bright side, to see it as an opportunity. And instead of looking realistically at how that would feel to Crowley, he tried to sweep Crowley up to Heaven with him using toxic positivity, appeals to morality, and appeals to their relationship itself. Again, mimicking what Heaven has done to him.

To me, "they're not talking" is a big clue that Aziraphale's approach with Crowley is going to be the mistake the narrative really wants him to face. "Not talking" has, thus far, been presented as the central conflict of Season 3! After losing the structure and feedback Heaven gave him, Aziraphale started creating Heaven-like patterns in his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of those patterns is what he needs to do. Discovering first-hand that Heaven's entire modus operandi is bad no matter who's in charge is how he can do it.

Look, either you're sympathetic to Aziraphale's control issues or you're not. Personally, I am. He's trying so, so hard to be good. I think trying to figure yourself out (which Aziraphale is clearly doing) is hard enough, and when you start balancing what you want for yourself, what you think are your responsibilities, and what other people are actively asking of you, you're bound to fall into the patterns that have been enforced for your whole life or for millions of years, whichever came first.

It is very easy to assume that people should Just Be Better, but it's not actually that simple to be a thinking, feeling person. My anxiety tends to move in a very inward direction and Aziraphale's moves outward. But I'd imagine the desperation and exhaustion are the same.

Unlike Nina, Aziraphale became a rebound mess. I don't think it occurred to either him or to Crowley that there could be any soul-searching, anything but carrying on with the new normal after their stalemate with Heaven and Hell.

Now, instead of getting rejected by Heaven and surviving it, Aziraphale needs to be the one to reject Heaven. It needs to be a choice. And that choice is going to come from realizing that Heaven isn't just poorly managed but also represents a bad framework for all relationships.

How could this happen? Good question. We're obviously not supposed to know yet, although I think picking at existing themes within the narrative could possibly give us hints.

It's possible Aziraphale's character development trajectory will be akin to Adam Young's in Season 1. Please see this stellar post by eidetictelekinetic for more thoughts about it, but basically, in Season 1, Adam saw that the world was not what he wanted it to be and decided his vision was better; as he ascended to power, he took complete control over all his friends and then soon realized that's not what he wants because there's no point in trying to have relationships with people who can't choose you. It's that realization that leads Adam to conclude he doesn't want to take over the world and to reject the role he's expected to play as the Antichrist. Maybe Aziraphale's trip to Heaven is an attempt at a control move during which he'll realize he's defeating his own point.

Aziraphale clearly wants to be chosen. From the very beginning, he's wanted to be special and cared for - just like Crowley has.

Incidentally, I think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to represent pieces of the bigger picture here, and this - first imitating and then rejecting Heaven's relationship style - can both symbolize Heaven's transformation and directly start it (probably in an amusing, somewhat indirect way, like when he handed off the flaming sword to Adam).

If I'm right - which I may very well not be - I think this would all be so, SO cool. Like, "An angel who is subconsciously trying to be a better God" is a concept with so much potential for both tender kindness and incredible darkness. Add to that the comedy-of-errors aspect of "...but even deeper down, he'd much rather just be super gay on Earth" and you have, in my opinion, a perfect character.

I think this could work for Crowley as well. It's obvious that in the Good Omens universe, at least so far, Hell is all about detesting humans and punishing them; Satan seems to genuinely hate humans (unlike in some of NG's other works). Our perspective on this could change, but it potentially puts Crowley in a complementary position to Aziraphale, as a demon who is trying to be "better" than Satan. But this isn't about being "morally better." It's about things having a point. Crowley's exploits usually have a point: they test people. And you can pass his tests! He sincerely likes making trouble, but Crowley doesn't live to punish.

But, once again, the above paragraph would describe a transient phase for this infinitely charming character. Because, again, I think the point will be that in the end, Crowley's deeper-down desire, moreso than testing Creation, is watching it grow with a glass of wine in hand.

[in-sufficientdata]

Why the Konmari method is pretty useless for people with genuine problems with hoarding and OCD, or OCD tendencies, at least without some caveats and definitions:

Hoarding is defined by a persistent emotional attachment to inanimate objects. Clutterers and hoarders often have an unconscious need to save items, whether for an imagined future ideal use, or just because otherwise they would end up in the landfill.

People with these issues often have difficulty discerning the difference between a truly useful item and something that should be given or thrown away because of their emotional attachment to the item.

They see themselves as the best curator of the items, which may range from useful items like craft supplies, display items, sentimental items, and stuff that is truly just junk.

"Sunk costs" is a term from economics that means that a cost that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered. Although the original term refers to finances, the sunk costs of the time and effort someone has put into an item can influence their decision to keep the item.

Therefore, another factor in this attachment is the sunk costs of money, effort, and time that a person has put into an item. A person may no longer be personally attached to an item, but will keep it because they have always meant to use it or simply because it's not yet ruined.

This is also a reason those with fewer economic advantage tend to be hoarders more than those with a comfortable financial situation. Someone like this realizing they've obtained two of an item will take on the responsibility of curating both instead of getting rid of one.

Because of all these factors, the expression that was translated as "sparks joy" in the English version is too easy for a clutterer to confuse or redefine in their own mind as they work to sort through their items.

In my case, for example, I had a situation where the basement, which was full of our excess saved items, needed to be cleared so the cracked foundation could be repaired. I had to decide what to save in the limited storage space we still had, and what to throw out or donate.

If Konmari had been in vogue at the time (this was in 2004) I'm certain I would have kept far more items than I should have. This language is too easy for a clutterer to massage and redefine in their own mind based on what the item is.

First, clutterers need to be clear-eyed about the fact that they suffer from excess emotional attachment to objects. Flylady's declutter method was in vogue at the time I engaged in this declutter session, and she has a whole checklist of questions to ask oneself about an object:

Do I love this item?

Have I used it in the past year?

Is it really garbage?

Do I have another one that is better?

Should I really keep two?

Does it have sentimental value that causes me to love it?

Or does it give me guilt and make me sad when I see the item?

This may seem needlessly complex to someone who is not a hoarder or clutterer but this addresses many of the reasons that a sufferer would keep an item that they shouldn't.

Another factor is that they are perfectionists. This seems at odds with the idea that they may have a huge mess in their home, but what happens is they often can't deal with their persistent need to have a perfectly clean home that matches their vision.

Because of this they put off starting on the project until it can be done perfectly.

This is why methods like Flylady and Unfuck Your Habitat (which is really just Flylady without the cutesy rhetoric) help these people so much, because people with differences such as ADHD become clutterers because they don't know how to regulate their own time or how to organize.

The emotional attachment to their possessions is, incidentally, why decluttering on behalf of your hoarder friend is a very bad idea. The person will need to work through this process on their own, in order for it to stick.

Getting rid of these items can be intensely emotional and difficult for someone with these tendencies.

Time limits, routines, consistency, and persistence are the best tools for someone who needs to declutter. Don't try to do this all in an afternoon. Not only is it a difficult process, it should become a consistent habit.

For resources and further reading please check out Squalor Survivors (archive.org link).

[hetalian-veteran]

The Curious Case of Hetalia's Scotland

I will never get over what I like to call "The Curious Case of Hetalia's Scotland." Not only because I find it funny, but because to me, this is something that demonstrates the pure power of fandom and fanon.

Because for the longest time, we didn't really have Scotland in the series. Like, we knew he was technically a canon character, seeing as he was mentioned by England a time or two before, but we had no design or skits of him at the time. Not to mention those comments were only made in the comics, which many fans didn't read, seeing as many of us only stuck to the anime for the longest time (which is me, I am many fans. I am still trying to find the courage to read the manga aside from little panels I find online).

And so, what did the Hetalia fandom do? Well, the fandom did what the fandom does best... Taking matters into their own hands and creating their own design for the character/country.

I'm not gonna put an actual picture of the fanon design here because I don't want to repost anyone's art without their permission, but if you look up "hetalia scotland" on google, and then click on "images", you'll get the picture of what I'm thinking of. A tall guy with pale skin, bright green eyes, fiery red hair, and wearing a cobalt-blue suit with two white sashes across the front. A man who literally just looks like a human personification of the Scottish flag.

Now, I have no idea who came up with the fanon design for Scotland. I've looked, and I genuinely cannot find out who the first person was who drew him. But regardless, this is the design that the fandom largely latched onto. So much so to the point where you had people making fanart, fanfics, and even cosplays of this character. People even collectively decided on his personality, interests, what his relationships with other the characters were like, etc. (This can all be found on the fan character wiki). It even got to a point where I, as well as many others, genuinely started to believe that this was the canon design/version of the character for the longest time. Primarily because we just didn't know any better.

In short, the fanon version of aph Scotland spread far and wide throughout the fandom, and everyone seemed to just largely accept him, even to the point of believing he was canon.

And then one day, Himaruya drops this sketch.

He posted this and said that the characters here were Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. However, he didn't say who was who, so we were left to guess which character was which at the time. We were getting closer to a canon Scotland but were still unsure which one he was. And even then, you had people who still clung to the fanon version.

And the later, Himaruya formally introduced Scotland in the comics and even released this piece of official, beautiful art.

Fully illustrated designs of all of the UK brothers. England, Northern Ireland, Wales... And Scotland.

This was it. We, as the fandom, finally had our canonical version of Scotland, as well as the rest of the UK brothers. But let's be real here, when it came to fanon-created characters, the fans largely latched onto Scotland.

And what did a large chunk of the fandom do?

That's right. I dunno about everyone else in the fandom, but in the fan spaces I was in, you had a large chunk of people who took one look at the canon design and thought to themselves, "Yeaaah no. We like our version better."

And I just... This is still so funny and wild to me.

Imagine waiting years to get a character design, and when the design finally comes out, you have since become so married to a fanon design, that when you look at the canon design, you go, "No thanks."

It seems like people have become much more accepting of the canonical design of aph Scotland over time (and I'm happy for that), but even so, the sheer reach and influence that the fanon design of Scotland had is nothing short of amazing to me.

Anyway, there you go, that's my ramble for the day.

[strawglicks]

GRAHAM PAYSER IS INSECURE AS HELL

So ive been thinking abt this for some time and i decided i needed to make a post about it bc people were SHOCKED when i pointed it out and like. Is this new???? I thought it was obvious . But if its not, thats what this post is for <3

heres why grahams super insecure actually

Need for Validation

So graham needs attention and validation from other people NONSTOP.

from asking flint to validate everything he just said

to waking up cathal so they'll agree with him

to just seeking people's attention in general.

He cannot just be content with himself on his own, he needs other people to constantly reassure him that he’s right. He claims to be confident but isn’t satisfied with just himself, he needs other people to fill that void

Projecting

The ending cutscene is the biggest case of Graham projecting onto other people AND one of the biggest points where his insecurity shows.

He is EXHAUSTED from his own fight but he can't handle the failure, so he flips everything he's feeling onto the toons instead.

He spends this whole cutscene realizing he's lost and DESPERATELY trying to cover it up because he can't admit defeat, which reeks of insecurity by itself.

It opens with him realizing he's lost and immediately trying to cover up the fact he's upset about it.

He tries to flip the situation and make it seem like the toons lost the fight and puts them down for it because he doesn't want to put HIMSELF down. He doesn't even allow himself to fail, he has to be perfect.

He also straight up lies here. Graham was putting his ALL into this fight, proven by how he collapses from exhaustion at the end. There are no other forms, he wasn't getting started. He was trying his very best and still failed and that destroys him. Again, he can't handle the failure so he just. Lies at this part.

More projecting and trying to make it out as if the toons lost . He himself desperately needs a breather because he burned himself out, but again, he can't handle that fact because he's desperate to be perfect.

Not the ending cutscene but another point worth mentioning in terms of projecting. He brags about burning out the toons yet has a habit of burning HIMSELF out.

The fact he collapses at the end of his fight means he overworks himself to the absolute limits in desperation to be the best. If he's really so great, he shouldn't have to try so hard to prove it. Which brings me to the next point

Trying Too Hard

Someone who is genuinely content with themselves shouldn’t feel like they have to PROVE they are content, yet that’s what Graham constantly does. He is always trying so hard and putting on a show for the people around him to PROVE that he’s confident.

Someone who feels good about themselves shouldn’t have to shove that fact down everyone’s throats. This drives back to the validation point in which he needs people to pay attention to and validate him.

Fantasizing About Success

Graham obsesses over a better version of himself despite claiming to be so confident with who he is currently.

He's not satisfied with where he currently stands. He craves more power, attention and success because he is insecure with where he is now. There's no reason for someone so supposedly confident and perfect to be chasing after a better version of themselves.

Can't Admit Failures

Touched on this earlier with the projecting. Graham insists he's perfect and anytime he fails it immediately makes him panic. Someone who's happy and content with themselves should also be able to accept their flaws, but that's not what Graham does.

When his position for the job is threatened, he immediately loses it.

When he loses his fight, he immediately scrambles for excuses and some way to put himself back on top.

Graham may have a huge ego, but it's a fragile one at that.

Graham’s confidence is a facade. This isn't to say he's doing it intentionally; I honestly think he isn't even aware of his insecurity and genuinely believes he is confident and above others. But people like Graham will often obsess over the IDEA of being confident and above others because they lack it in reality. It’s not just a facade to convince others he’s on top, it’s also to convince HIMSELF he’s on top.

TLDR; oh hes a little fucked up actually.

To finish this off u can have this image i made the other day featuring one of my fav Grahams ive ever drawn LMAO

It pretty much repeats what’s already been said

[starrywangxian]

my clematis: mizisua ver vs. ivantill ver

i've noticed a lot of people comparing ivan and sua so i thought i'd take a look at the difference of their versions of my clematis to see who sings which part - over the cut!!

i also ramble about the parallels/similarities/differences between the four characters after.

(i'll be looking at the english translation because i can't speak korean T^T)

(if i get anything wrong, please let me know!!)

till / sua: oh my clematis

till / sua: hope bloomed from the abyss

ivan / mizi: oh my clematis

ivan / mizi: always be by my side

till / sua: you bloomed from

till / sua: the huge black wall

ivan / mizi: the galactic starlight

ivan / mizi: in your eyes spreads out

ivan / mizi: in the endless darkness

ivan / mizi: i find you with your scent

till / mizi: even if i sleep in infinity

till / sua: don't leave my universe

ivan & till / mizi & sua: oh my clematis

ivan & till / mizi & sua: hope bloomed from the abyss

ivan & till / mizi & sua: oh my clematis

ivan & till / mizi & sua: always be by my side

ivan / mizi: do you believe in god?

till: no! stop talking

ivan / mizi: once upon a time, mankind believed in god and had religion

till: sigh...

ivan / mizi: they believe that things that cannot be solved by human strength

ivan/ mizi: are the will of god

ivan / mizi: believed that the entire universe revolved around the earth

ivan / mizi: thought that the place that connected with the sky, which they could not dare to reach

ivan / mizi: was the place where the gods lived

till: that's just ridiculous.

ivan / mizi: from the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot god

ivan / mizi: but if belief in god is human

ivan / mizi: if all i can do as a human is to believe

till: why are you staring at me?

ivan / mizi: my god

till: hey, hey! wait!

ivan / mizi: my universe

till: ah, go away!! ahhhhh

till / mizi: oh my clematis

till / mizi: hope withered in the abyss

ivan / mizi: oh my clematis

ivan / mizi: please stay by my side

ivan: my clematis / mizi: oh my clematis

alrightyyy so i decided to do this because i feel like it's the best way to see how mizisua and ivantill compare. these particular characters covered these songs for a reason, right?

just to mention, i find it very interesting how till thinks the speech is ridiculous. does he say that because it's ivan that's saying it? or does he genuinely think it's ridiculous. because these words were originally mizi's. would he still think it's ridiulous if mizi was the one saying them? hmmmmm

but anyways to conclude. most of mizi's lyrics are covered by ivan and most of sua's lyrics are covered by till showing that, at least for this song, mizi and ivan are more similar than sua and till are, and if you think about it, it makes sense.

mizi saw sua as her god ("my god, my universe") and i think from how ivan only allowed himself to touch or show his feelings for till when he wasn't looking/unconscious has that same feeling, that ivan saw till as a god who was unattainable, untouchable in all circumstances except for when till was unaware. much like when you pray to god, you don't necessarily get a response back, you pray and hope that god hears it.

i know that most people compare sua and ivan because they have similar appearances and they both sacrifice themselves for their loves but i don't think that's quite the case.

for one, mizi and sua sang together and mizi only won by one point. their round was on equal footing as they both sang, complying with the rules of the game. they both accepted their fates, i feel like both were prepared to die for the other but mizi was unaware that sua was planning to sacrifice herself to make sure that mizi won. whereas, ivan and till sang separately and till won by 19 points. ivan could not bare the thought of till dying and manipulated the score which till was completely unaware of, even thinking that ivan was going to kill him right until the moment where he opened his eyes (which is AHHHHH). ivan and sua are opposites here and mizi and till were both unaware what the other was planning.

and i can see why people compare mizi and till together (i mean i judt did it ksdjksjd). mizi and till both win due to the others' sacrifice but if you think about it, these songs are about being left behind, right? we haven't seen how till feels about ivan's sacrifice yet but we know that ivan feels unseen by till. like he's been left behind. and he quite literally was left behind by till when they tried to escape on that night with the meteor shower. mizi was left behind by sua because she died but ivan was left behind by till because he cared about someone else more.

and, i mean, mizi is the one who covers black sorrow, not sua. and black sorrow is a song about not being able to reach someone (ï can't reach you"), about standing next to someone who shines (ÿou who shine, i stand next to you" <- this also adds to the idea that ivan/mizi see the other as a god), about waiting for someone (ivan waiting for till to notice him and mizi waiting for sua to return to her). so are sua and ivan really that similar?

and i mean mizi dyes the ends of her hair blue, which is ivan's colour, not green (till's colour)...

anyway i'm rambling at this point but hopefully you can make sense of what i'm trying to get at lmao

(feel free to add your own thoughts!!)

[esouliie]

– BIKINI BOTTOM

– pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

– synopsis: natasha’s only gone & lost your favourite bikini.

– warnings: hurt/comfort, you’re both such a mess in this lmao

“Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie.”

“Excuse me?”

Friday evening- the night before your holiday.

Natasha took the day off to organise her packing and relax before boarding a 10-hour flight. You've been together for four years and have only gone on vacation once. It wasn't much of one, given that it was cut short by an alien invasion and Natasha was needed. With the redhead being an Avenger, days off were rare. The world always needed saving, for some reason.

After a heated argument and a few silent treatments from you, Natasha finally decided to cash in some holidays with which she promised to take you on your dream vacation to Italy.

“You know what I mean, Natasha! Stop playing dumb!”

So much for relaxing.

“Sweetheart, I really don’t understand what you’re talk-” You storm away, huffing as you move back to your shared bedroom, where you had been packing since this morning.

With a sigh, Natasha gets off the sofa, following in your direction. She inhales deeply - not knowing what version of her girlfriend she’s going to get behind the door- before steeping tentatively into the room.

Clothes. Everywhere. The floor was almost invisible.

You were somehow sat on the bed, half sunk in a hole created from your weight. Natasha moves in, hastily avoiding the piles. Your clothes rustle beneath her shifting weight as she trips on a random belt.

 When did you have so many clothes?

She finally reaches you, “Baby, what’s the matter?”

While Natasha is used to your ‘sulky attitude’, it usually doesn’t come with this expression of sadness on your face.

You won’t even look at her.

Her brow burrows. She’s afraid she might’ve actually upset you.

She places a cool hand on your shoulder, softly circling the muscle with her thumb.

“You can talk to me, you know?”

You meet her gaze hesitantly. Pools of worried emerald stare back, delicately wandering over your features.

She waits. Patient as always. Despite the woman’s fear of being a terrible partner, you were in the best relationship of your life. All because of her.

With a sigh, “you promised to give my bikini back after Tony’s party and you still haven’t and I need it for-“

“Are you serious?” Natasha stops rubbing your shoulder, voice harsh.

“Yes it’s the one-”

“You threw a hissy fit about a bikini I borrowed a few months ago?” She scoffs, stepping away from you not caring about the strewn clothes under her feet. “I genuinely thought you were upset.”

“I am upset! It’s my favourite one and I need it for Italy!” You argue, rising to your feet.

Natasha rolls her eyes, “I cannot believe you right now.”

It’s so like you to make a big deal out of something and make her feel guilty for what she’s done, when really you’re just-

“What? It’s not like this is a new thing!”

Natasha pauses, confused as to what you’re getting at. She’s only worn this bikini once.

“You always borrow my clothes! Sometimes without even asking and I lose them and can’t find them when I need them!”

Hand extended, you point to the mess you created.

It’s not your fault. You only made this mess because Natasha doesn’t know how to wear her own clothes.

"Normally, it isn't a problem. I find them wherever you put them, but I haven't seen this bikini in months and..." You pause, not knowing what else to say without sounding enraged.

At a stand- still, you both just stare at each other.

The silence is awkward.

Natasha plays back all the times she's worn your clothes and not returned them.

That one time she wore your heels once and then left them in Tony's penthouse. Or the time she wore your earrings and then left them on Wanda's nightstand after a girls' night out.

She physically recoils into herself, guilt and shame working their way through her bones.

You were right.

“Hey, it’s okay,” resolve completely falling away at the sight of your girlfriend fighting with herself, “I don’t mind you wearing my stuff, Tasha. Really.”

Her figure remains unmoving, despite her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths.

You had hurt her.

Your breath catches. You wish you never said anything. Fuck the bikini.

You shift towards her, fast enough to not scare her, hand falling against her cold wrist. You guide her back towards the bed. Pushing a pile of socks onto the floor, you seat her next to you.

“Hey.” A soft whisper leaves your lips, a thumb brushing against her wrist.

Her head tilts, glazed red eyes refusing to meet yours.

There are no tears.

Natasha never cries.

“It’s nothing, baby. I have plenty of others.”

She worries at her lip, eyes flittering around at everything except you.

“Please don’t beat yourself up about it.” You croak, voice failing to swallow the lump in your throat.

“I lost it.” She replies.

 “I don’t know where I put it and if it’s not here then I must’ve lost it.”

You chuckle lightly, tears blurring your sight. “I know. Your reaction told me so.”

She smiles, before inclining her head towards you. You gently move your hand to her back, tracing patterns down along her spine. In silence, warm fingers flee underneath her shirt as they caress the scar tissue of her hip. The nasty scar from a bullet wound on her latest mission.

Natasha gasps at the touch, and falls deeper into your embrace.

Her lips tremble, and tears touch her skin, but she is not sad. She’s content. Something Natasha has strived for since she could remember.

She lifts her head, following forward into parted lips. Her lips brushed against yours, softly and delicately, like butterfly wings, just long enough for her to inhale your breath and feel the warmth of your skin, and the taste of you lingered long after she was gone.

A tender kiss sealed in adoration.

“Will you help me pack?”

She nods, and with her hands clasped around yours, she forgives herself, just as the day forgives the night, and the future forgives the past.

~~~

taglist: @inluvvwithfictionalwomen @jestercat28 @lol1556732 @truthindreams @me-uglypretty @karmasgxrl @natashasnoodle @thunderinglava @sayah13 @wonderingnerd @cd-4848

[1425fivefive]

Can we get director’s commentary on a fic of your choice?

Dealer's choice for the director's commentary prompt! What a treat 💕! I've been dying to talk about Don't Want Your Sympathy, but it's such a long fic that I'm going to cheat a little bit and talk just about Chapter 4, the chapter where Oscar and Lando finally get together.

I genuinely cannot explain to you how hard that chapter was to write. Don't Want Your Sympathy was my first and only longfic and I started posting before I was anywhere close to finished with it and decided to update it on a weekly schedule, which in hindsight was insane. When I got to Chapter 4, I knew I wanted (1) Lando and Oscar to get together and (2) a karaoke scene as a callback to Oscar listening to "Easy On Me" in Chapter 1. But apart from that, I had no idea how I wanted the chapter to go and I felt so much pressure after people had invested so much time reading the fic. I really wanted Oscar and Lando getting together to feel believable and satisfying, and I had no idea how to do that because (if you've read my fics you'll know) I don't typically write slow burn multi-chapter fics.

The first draft of Chapter 4 was so weird. They still go to the bar, but Lando and Oscar start explicitly flirting very early, and it just felt ... so out of character for Oscar, who'd spent most of the fic in this like "crisis management" mode where he didn't let himself feel things.

I rewrote it to have them go skinny dipping instead (lol), but I hated it. (I actually reworked that scene into the beach scene in Chapter 3.)

Then, I rewrote it to have Oscar realize during Lando's karaoke performance that (1) he's in love with Lando and (2) Lando loves him back. (In the final version, Oscar leaves the bar during Lando's karaoke performance) Here's a snippet of how it was originally written:

As the last notes play, Oscar puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles. The rest of the bar’s going wild too, cheering and applauding despite the mediocre singing.  Daniel leans over. “Still think he’s straight?” Oscar laughs, shoves Daniel away. Lando’s bounding over to them, dodging patrons. He ends up stood right next to Oscar, so close his arm’s pressed right up against Oscar’s. Oscar can feel the heat of him through his shirt.  “How’d I do?” Lando asks, looking expectantly at him. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Oscar says, and Lando beams, smile so bright it could power the bar. “I mean, to be clear, you were terrible—” “I’ve only heard that song, like, four times in my life, mate—” “Think you might’ve permanently damaged my high-frequency hearing—” “I had to hit the notes—” “And you almost fell off the stage. You could’ve killed somebody, look at how old this crowd is.” “That’s show business, Osc. Gotta crack a few eggs—” “I loved it,” Oscar says. It comes out so tenderly, it almost sounds like Oscar’s saying he loves Lando. Looking down at Lando—eyes bright, sweat dripping down his chest, his curls puffed into frizz by the heat of the bar—Oscar thinks he maybe could, one day, if he let himself. “Yeah?” Lando breathes. “Yeah,” Oscar says. Lando’s smile’s so wide and Oscar knows his is just as big. They can’t seem to stop staring at each, grinning like a pair of idiots.

In the original draft, they then have this very emotionally mature chat about their feelings for each other and end up kissing.

Idk, it just was not working for me. It didn't feel at all in character that Oscar would suddenly open up and feel comfortable enough around Lando to have this easy, emotionally intelligent chat about liking each other. I also wanted Lando to be able to express his (understandable) frustration about how Oscar continually shuts everything down between them.

So, instead, Oscar runs away, Lando follows him, and Lando gets to yell a bit about how much he likes Oscar and how Oscar keeps hurting him. I think it's a much more in-character scene and has a lot more emotional payoff than the original, very soft scene between the two of them. Like, there was no passion in the original scene. It was very "I like you" "Cool, I like you, too!"

Then, the sex scene. I struggled with this, too, because Lando has zero experience with men and I didn't want to make him unbelievably good in bed. So, he gives Oscar a blowjob and while Oscar thinks it's incredible, I tried to make it clear Oscar thinks it's incredible because it's Lando, not because Lando's a blowjob god.

Then, for the sex itself, I wanted to show Oscar being both in his head about "this is my teammate who doesn't know his sexuality" and "I'm obsessed with him and need this to happen." You can still see that Oscar's not fully letting himself fall into his relationship with Lando - for example, Oscar wants to ride Lando because he doesn't want the vulnerability that comes from being underneath someone.

It all goes back to the phone call with his mom, where his mom says, "You're afraid to let yourself be loved." Like, I think that really is the "hero's journey" of this fic: Oscar learning how to love people fully and let himself be loved in return. He thinks about that on the beach in the final scene in Chapter 7:

Oscar can’t remember, now, why he was ever afraid of it—of letting himself be loved and loving in return.

Anyway, I think this chapter has big emotional payoff while also keeping some seeds of conflict (Oscar's communication issues, Oscar's inability to let himself fully love Lando), that get explored and resolved in later chapters.

Sorry for the yap, I just haven't gotten the chance to yap about this fic that much!

[gffa]

Hi!  You are welcome for being dragged down into this hell with me! :D The fic in this fandom is really delightful and there are genuinely some excellent comics to read! OKAY SO.  Here's the thing about DC comics and DC fic, I find that it's easiest to think of it in four stages or four continuities: - Pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths (anything pre-1985 or so) - Post-Crisis Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985-2011) - Post New 52 (2011-2016) - Post Rebirth (2016---) (Note:  Crisis on Infinite Earths and Infinite Crisis are two different things!  So you may see Infinite Crisis mentioned here and there, but it's separate from the really big one in 1985 that changed the landscape so much.) Like, it's a bit more complicated than that, but generally that's how they're divided in my mind and each of them is separated by a massive universe-wide continuity change and what's true of one era may not be true of another era--and that's not even getting into various retcons that are told all the time.  Then you have fic, which often takes elements from different continuities and puts them all in a blender because it's fic, you do what you want, you pick what you like!  Which means, even aside from the usual aspects of fanon, you cannot trust fic at all to be a guide to what is or isn't canon, no matter how canon something seems. For example, in the Post-Crisis/Pre-Nu52 era, very briefly, Jason came back to life because a Superboy from a different world punched reality so hard that Jason was jarred back to life, clawed his way out of the grave, and was picked up by the League to be dumped in the Lazarus Pit.  Post-Nu52, I believe he didn't wake up until after Talia dug him up and put him in the Lazarus pit.  Or another example that you'll see a lot in fic is, Post-Crisis/Pre-Nu52 Nightwing had a story where he was trying to train Tarantula into being a hero and that story ended with him stepping aside to let her kill Blockbuster and then she sexually assaulted him, but Post-Nu52, I'm not sure Tarantula even exists, despite that a ton of fic will bring that event up and blend it in with the current continuity.  (And this is fine!  I enjoy when authors do this actually!  It just means that what's in fic =/= being able to understand the comics timeline.  Like, as far as I'm aware, Jason and Damian having a relationship is entirely a fic thing, I don't think the comics have touched on it?  To be fair, Jason is not my hardcore area of expertise yet.  XD) Now, the complicated thing--DC Rebirth isn't a reboot per se, it's more like blending pre-Nu52 elements back into the current timeline, so I'm a bit fuzzy on what's currently true and what's not, and I only mention this to basically illustrate why I think it's best to just roll with whatever the story in front of you is telling you, because there just often isn't one, true definitive version of events of the characters' backstories.  And that's if DC decides to cover things at all, rather than just throwing you into the middle of the story!  Which they will do a lot. That said, while others will probably have better Jason recs for you (which I would welcome better recs!), I would say some of the best places to understand his character would be: - Batman: Under the Hood by Judd Winick (~2005) - You can also watch the animated movie "Batman: Under the Red Hood" which a lot of people love, but it does have some differences between the two.  But both are good places to start! - Red Hood: The Lost Days (2010—2011) by Judd Winick - Another retelling of how Jason came back to life, I believe this one is pre-Nu52 - Robin 80th Anniversary Special (2020) is a series of various Robin stories and Jason has one that's a good read as well--"More Time" by Judd Winick. - Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) by Scott Lobdell - I believe this is the only Rebirth-era storyline of Jason's that covers his background, though, I haven't read it yet myself.  You want the one with Bizarro and Artemis, NOT the one with Arsenal and Starfire.  (I mean, I'm not your mom, read what you want, but I would suggest putting those much further down on your reading list.  XD) And yes yes yes YOUR LIBRARY IS GOING TO HAVE MORE COMICS THAN YOU REALIZE, also if you have a library card already, check out Hoopla, because many libraries partner with them and you can use your card to log in and they have a TON of comics (I know for sure they have Under the Red Hood and Red Hood - The Lost Days and Red Hood and the Outlaws Volume 1 + Volume 2 + Volume 3 + Volume 4 and so, so many more comics) and you may be limited to how many you can check out per month (like 10/month or so) but it's a GREAT way to support libraries, authors/artists, and check out what you like before spending a lot of money! (Further recs, I personally enjoyed the Jason story in Batman: Urban Legends volume 1, even if the art wasn't my thing, the story had some great emotional punches, and Robins: Being Robin was such a fun ride of all five Robins solving a case together and was just pure joy to read. And mileages vary, but I remember enjoying the Hush storyline, back when I was still reading comics and it first came out, though, I haven't reread it since then, so it's a cautious rec.)

[melancholysway]

Rating All Leo's because I can

Love our leader in blue fr fr

I’m starting to think that TMNT may be my comfort fandom and comfort show/movie, which I’m not mad about at all :,)

Anyways Yk how it goes going off personality/design/character development/my own taste

TMNT 2003

Okay, character development wise, YES. I’ve been rewatching the entire 2003 series for the past few weeks, watching little at a time, and I really see the changes in Leo. I love it. And I love him fr fr

I think his personality is really strong! He has more substance to him and really is a great version of Leo!

Design wise, not much to go off? I think the white film for eyes for the turtles is actually a great touch for this installment, so brownie points for that (:

Anyways,

4.5/5! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

TMNT 2007

If y’all don’t know about my distaste for 2007 Leo, you gon learn today

Lord have mercy

This Leo was my least favorite in terms of personality, BUT!

The “come to daddy” line JUST saved him thanks to my underlying kink and personal taste

Anyways

Cough cough

Not much development, I wish they gave some sort of flashback on how Leo was like before going to South America. Splinter just says he’s much stronger but like bro where??? (Jk)

I like his design though :) his eyes are cute

BUT LOOKS CANNOT SAVE THIS MAN IDC AS HARD AS IT IS FOR ME

2/5⭐️⭐️

TMNT 2012

This is totally not biased at all yall😍😍

I LOVE 2012 LEO IDC HES MY FAVORITE.

like his personality???? I love it. He’s not some stressed out mf turtle who tries to be Mr. Perfect all the time. He actually has SUBSTANCE. I live for it.

His design is rly nice! I noticed that his eyes are more slanted than his brothers, and his blue eyes are the cutest yall.

As for character development, one of the best aside from 2003 leonardo, I loved his growth from a nervous leader to a more confident one who knows he can get shit done!!!

ANYWAYS,

5/5!!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bayverse TMNT

Ugh. What the fUck.

Jk

Kind of

Idk something about this Leo rubs me the wrong way personality wise? Like this version of Leo and the 2007 Leo both said some shit that seemed so not him given the situation?

He knew how much being human meant to Raph and Mikey but immediately said that their opinions didn’t matter, only his. Which I really didn’t like, it made me hate him a lil LMAO

Whilst 2007 Leo said he was better than Raph, which I feel like 2012 and 2003 Leo would never ever say out loud. I didn’t like that at all from bay Leo & 2007 Leo

Character development…meh. It’s a movie, it moves quick. I WISH we got a 3rd movie but Yk 😐😐😐my opinion may be different

As for design, this might be what saves him LMAO

I love love LOVE the tattoos on the brothers, & I like that Leo has the most! Not only that, but they kept him with blue eyes! THANK YOU.

I also like his lil fit, I’m (very) happy they decided to put clothes on the turtles. It seems more natural. Of course they’d wear clothes when outside, they’d probably feel naked without it.

Anyway,

3/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Rise! TMNT

omg

I love

NO THOUGHTS.

he’s so cool idc

His personality is great! He isn’t the mf leader so he gets to be as careless and free as he wants :D love that for him

I also rly love his design! I like that him & Donnie are lowkey twins too omg

I love the marks on his eyes, his lil portal weapon OMFG ALL OF IT GUYS

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? HMM.

I genuinely like to watch the show & there isn’t really any serious parts in it like TMNT 2003 (this version was dark I swear) but his overall character I love & every episode I come to love him :)

4.5/5! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Masterlist

[mikicreature]

Song(s) of the Day

Everything. About this album. Is perfect. It was such a hard decision to choose between the official and the demos, but ultimately I decided to go with the demos as I have just recently found them. I remember when I was first getting into Ethel Cain about 4 years ago my freshman year. I cannot express how much of a big big fan I am of her work. She's truly a visionary and if you are on youtube often I highly recommend watching her livestreams and storytimes. Interesting stuff going on there :).

Anyways, back to the Preacher's Daughter demos. I absolutely love the rawness of all of the tracks, usually when you hear a scrapped version of an album like Fiona Apple's Extraordinary Machine with Jon Brion it's just a different vibe or version of the album. BUT for these demos, they are almost like glimpses into Hayden's brain in a way. Kinda like the 013 livestream where you actually saw her create an amazing and moving song in almost under 30 minutes!!!! I remember listening to this compilation a lot recently, and as I'm experiencing fall for the first time it is truly a life-changing experience.

My favorite tracks on the demo version of Preacher's Daughter might be Thoroughfare and obvioussllyyyyy Strangers. Actually, this post might be going on a little longer than the usual ones because I have to get Strangers off my chest. This album makes me genuinely mourn Ethel Cain on top of the fact that she is waiting for her mom to find her throughout the song. Also hitting close to home when she mentions Winn Dixie (missing Miami rn). I just really enjoy the storytelling in these songs, super masterful, and like I'm hearing her speak to me through my haunted headphones that can connect to the dead.

Thoroughfare thoroughfare thoroughfare....... I love you so so much. Not only does this album demonstrate immaculate storytelling, it has BEAUUUUUUUUTIFUL VOCALS!!!!!! I'm so not normal with this album/song I'm literally in love. The demo is much like the official version of Thoroughfare, starting off with just her vocals and breaking into a soft assortment of instruments. It's literally one of the best pieces of music I've heard. I've been reading up on the extensive lore of Ethel Cain (thank you reddit) and the way that this song might be Ethel reasoning with herself to think that leaving with Isaiah is actually a good thing instead of actually giving into the thought that she is most definitely getting kidnapped. It breaks my heart, and I just wish the best for her, even if she doesn't make the most sound choices. I don't think I've mourned a character more in an album, which is just even more a testament to how much Hayden involves her fans in the storytelling of Preacher's Daughter (idk how many more times I can say it).

Overall, if you just need something unique to listen to that'll make you reminiscent of something you may have or may have not experienced this is the album. I love it dearly, and if you are an Ethel Cain lover you should check out the demos if you haven't already! Looking forward to seeing her live in the near future (hopefully) for her upcoming album Perverts I'm so excited!!! Thank you for reading :)

@mothercain

[snobgoblin]

okay ill bite (/affectionate) whats the arcana about !!

!!! YES <- hook up a generator to him he is stimming- ok so I have answered this in another ask BUT I'll go into detail in this one theres the spoiler free one, this one will be 100% spoiler

OK so.... oh my god where do I even start. there's so much I do not expect you to read this LMAO but thank you for the opportunity to talk about this

ok so it's a visual novel. and you can play six different versions of the same story (volume 1 being Asra, Nadia, and Julian, with volume 2 being Muriel, Portia, and Lucio) and honestly, volume 1 is the strongest imo THATS NOT TO SAY VOLUME 2 ISNT GOOD I just love volume 1 because it's GENUINELY just the same exact story from different perspectives whereas volume 2 takes creative liberties (especially Portias route which is sad because I love Portia as a character but her route is so disconnected from the others that I don't like it that much) ANYWAY ANYWAY enough opinions let's get into the lore (actually while I'm on the topic, based on the plot of each route? honestly the best way to play would be Nadia->Julian->Asra->Muriel->Lucio <- Portia's story is disconnected from the rest so it doesn't fit into this? (which makes sense considering she hasn't been in town as long as the others so she isn't involved in their stuff) but you kind of do need to play Julian's route beforehand if for no other reason than to get a feel for Mazelinka's character and Portia's backstory)

as far as lore. I guess I will start at the beginning, Montag Morgasson (better known as Count Lucio now) is part of a tribe known as the Scourge of the South, and his mom was the leader so he was kind of entitled, he felt like he would have power handed to him when he turned 18 but that didn't happen! his mom just cut him off. so Lucio gets mad and tries to bargain with the wyrm Vlagnagog, only to mistakenly summon demon Vlastomil as Vlagnagog has been shriveled up for a while now from not getting any sacrifices. anyway Vlastomil promises to help Lucio weaken his parents via Pestilence in exchange for their hearts. Lucios dad is bedridden and Lucio kills him, but he cannot kill Morga as she's not so easily defeated. she decides to spoil him one last time by letting him free in combat, as she cannot bear to kill her own son

AND SIDE NOTE I absolutely love seeing the naming convention of The Scourge of the South like Morga gave birth to Lucio so he is Lucio Morgasson (Morga's Son) and Morga also occasionally introduces herself as Morga Eirsdottir, assuming one of her parents was Eirs, probably her mother

ANYWAY because the deal is not fulfilled, red beetles start following Lucio around (he has a complicated relationship with beetles but I won't get into that rn) and with them, the red plague. Lucio starts doing mercenary work so all over the world this plague is happening, but Lucio doesn't seem to realize it's his fault, the beetles are following him. he just keeps making deals and not fulfilling them because he doesn't understand, when you don't uphold your end of a magical bargain, it has a way of punishing you. this will come back to bite him later and he develops a huge fear of death when he realizes he'll never be able to pay off his debt, later leading him to bargain with The Devil, but we're not there yet

where were we! Mercenary work! ok so at some point Julian left Nevivon for Prakra to study under Nazali, and he ends up on the battlefield with Lucio, as a doctor. he amputates Lucios arm. during this battle, the count of Vesuvia who he's fighting for sees this sacrifice and resolves to make him the new count iirc. so that's how he rose to power (I'll go into other character backstories here in a minute)

Lucio throws a bunch of parties and bullies local homeless kids as count, two of those being Muriel and Asra. I'll explain their deal once I'm done explaining Lucio bc he truly is the central character here, he's where all the conflict comes from. just keep that in mind

he also marries Nadia, trapping her in a hopeless marriage while he has endless affairs with the other nobles. but she doesn't care bc she doesn't even wanna be married in the first place. she's just being treated as eye candy like she has her whole life and she's resigned to her fate (SAD)

so because he's staying in the same place. he catches the Red Plague. and he tries to do this whole ritual (it's really long to explain) to get a new body, but BOOM Asra sabatoged it! he put pomegranate juice in instead of Lucios blood so the ritual would fail (the ritual was to fuse Lucio with the Devil) but now he's just stuck as this ghost goat in between dimensions

the game starts three years after this takes place, and it is your job to solve the "murder" and I think that brings me to Julian because he's a pretty important piece there

so Julian, big brother of Portia, was born to a rich family, the Devoraks, but one day the ship crashed, killing his parents, and leaving salt seals to save he and Portia's life. later, pirate Mazelinka found them and took them to Nevivon to be raised by the grandmas, a loving community of elderly salt miners and here they spent their childhood. Julian was taught how to read and write by Mazelinka's girlfriend Lilinka, and Portia felt left out. she felt left out in a lot of ways, like this and then, she wasn't even old enough to remember their parents. she's just always felt left out. anyway adding salt to the wound Julian goes off to study medicine in Prakra, leaving Portia behind once again

Julian was also working during the Red Plague, under the palace head doctor Valdemar (ooooooh don't even get me started on the courtiers or ill never shut up) he was trying to find a cure, when his Apprentice succumbed to the illness. then he also caught it, and because of his near death experience, he was visited by the Hanged Man, who revealed to him the cure to the plague was to kill Lucio. so Julian escaped the dungeon where he had been locked in to focus on his cure, and he tried to kill Lucio, but by the time he got there the room was on fire. him being there, though, gave courtiers a reason to pin the blame on him later and the ritual made everyone lose their memories so he couldn't even dispute it

OK and then Asra's parents made Lucio a metal arm when he lost his, and he locked them up for it, leaving Asra homeless. here he met Muriel, who was also homeless due to his parents giving him away to save him from a raid by the Scourge of the South. their whole childhood they lived on the docks with Lucio harassing them. now, what they didn't know was that Asras parents? they made a deal with the Devil. Lucio physically could not hurt Asra. however, Lucio would threaten Muriel to do things by claiming he would hurt Asra if he did not comply. Lucio told Asra the same thing but for Muriel, using their love for each other to control them. Muriel def got the worst of this imo, he was forced to kill people and rabid animals in gladiator battle with the stage name being the name of the tribe who killed his whole family. Asra merely had to help Lucio with magical things. Muriel kept all this a secret from Asra bc he didn't want him to feel bad

God there is so much more and thats not even scratching the surface but my fingers hurt so bad from typing so I'll have to stop 😭 thank you this was fun

[patheticbatman]

Part One

I’m very proud of these dolls, and I’m also leaving them at my parents’ house, so I did a little photoshoot with some books as background so I can have nice pictures of them.

Each book is one that is based on their fairy tale, they exist in some form in that universe, or I genuinely think that character would read it. It cannot be their origin book.

Also, they ALL have to be books I have read. If the other books are more like companion books though, then I disregard that rule. They cannot share series either.

First up is Snow White with Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine. Funnily enough, I read this book before Ella Enchanted. I love it though! I always remember the singing and weird-reading-to-make-the-audience-laugh game :).

Second is Cinderella with Cinderella is Dead, by Kaylynn Bayron, and a little toy dog, because the Disney version has a dog. It’s a wonderfully revolutionary and queer take on a world that supposedly worships Cinderella, but actually uses her memory as an oppressive tool. Like an unwilling martyr.

Third is Alice with After Alice by Gregory Maguire (the dude who wrote Wicked). I have other Alice in Wonderland adaptions, but I haven’t enjoyed the others like this one. If you like ratfics, you may enjoy After Alice.

Fourth is Wendy with Peter and the Sword of Mercy, by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. I debated on whether to do the first book of this series or not, but Wendy only appears in this book, so I leaned toward this one instead. Out of all my Peter Pan adaption books, I like my one about Hook as a boy in Eton best. But only Wendy’s dad appears in that, and I don’t think she would read it, so I went with this series instead. I wrote a book report about the story set in the desert Kingdom when I was like 9, I loved it a lot.

Fifth is Aurora with While Beauty Sleeps, by Elizabeth Blackwell. It’s an inventive take that I enjoyed quite a bit. Explores how expectations can be used in your favor, etc.

Sixth is Eilonwy, with The Princess, The Crone and the Dung-Cart Knight, by Gerald Morris. I know The Black Cauldron is based on a book series, but I’ve only read a snippet, and I don’t have a copy of any of the stories anyway. So she gets to have a late - Arthurian novel.

Seventh is Ariel (she has six sisters so this pleases me) with The Hothouse Princesses by S. A. Hemstock. The author wrote some of the best Steven Universe fanfic, so I bought her first published story when it came out. Idk how it isn’t a bigger hit - it’s about a princess who was raised by peasants, gets discovered, wants to go back, and instead gets shunted off to a misogynistic, colonialistic, colorist princess finishing school, where she finds out some serious conspiracy shit about fairy godmothers. Anyway, Ariel often felt oppressed by her dad and curious about the Human world, so I imagine it would catch her eye.

Eighth is Belle with Lindworm, by Jenny Prater. Coincidentally, this is another case of me reading a superb fanfic writer’s work (Batfam this time) and instantly snapping up their OG work. I have a book of short stories that had a more direct BATB parallel story, but I was trying to stick with Novels. In any case, this is the story of the maiden who married the Lindworm, and what the Royal family does once they have to reckon with the nations of the dead princesses.

Ninth is Jasmine with the School for Good and Evil, by Soman Chainini. Her character really only appears in the prequel, but I wanted to acknowledge this really great series properly. I read the entire thing this summer, and I love its thematic approaches. In any case, I feel like this series’ approach to beauty, freedom and other dichotomies would pique her interest.

Tenth, we have Gabriella (Ariel’s mermaid BFF) and her Sign Language interpreter Olly. I have her human form. Anyway, I decided she might enjoy Wonderstruck, by Brian Selznick. It has Deaf characters and lots to show about the Human World, which I supposed she might enjoy. I found it quite interesting as a kid, and like with all the other Selznick books I own, I used to color all the hair, clothes and eyes in, lol. Listen. I had a lot of time on my hand and consistent access to Sharpies XD.

I’ll link the other parts to here when I post them!

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[fantasiacafecat]

I just got done playing everyone's route last night on Seduce Me 2: The Demon War. It was on switch and I realize that they may have changed some parts up on the switch than the original. Because I was doing the naughty scene for Sam and I remember him saying "Maybe I really am a brute" and they basically scrapped. So I decided to ne cutsey and remember I bought the complete story, demon war 2, and the first game before I knew switches existed. I downloaded all three on my chrome book.

Number 1: If I do rewrite all routes for Seduce Me 2 there are gonna be some major changes.

The wives (if I decide to even add them) won't be in the Demon world mostly because they don't bring anything to the story. I'll most likely give them their own moments before Mika is kidnapped. Like Carrie in Jame's route. And they'll be mentioned (example: say Mika gets a couple dogs in Sam's route. When she realizes that they have no one feeding them, Sam would reassure her that one of the wives would be taking care of them.

More serious roles for all of the brothers. And maybe one on one scenes with them (I might make a version where Mika doesn't romance anyone or its the harem version as well because I want to). It seems like only Sam gets to have more conversation with his brothers in his story. And it does kind of hurt my soul that in every route only one brother gets to help kill the Demon lord, their shitty father. I know Sam would probably do anything to kick his ass.

The whole story probably won't be a week long. And there would probably be more Battle scenes. Depending on who you choose as your trainer you might get to be part of some missions, like assassinations with Shadow. Or scouting with Fae. I also don't know how dark and sinister I'm gonna make this story (if I do it). Part of me wants to genuinely traumatize the MC (when do I not).

Number 2: As for the Human Heart routes. I'm almost completely sure it's gonna have a similar plot like with each of the Demon brothers. Unless I was writing very tiny snippets of the relationship between Mika and their human lover, I don't think it'd be interesting enough to make a full fanfic (that's based off a game with magic) that doesn't have magic in it. It would be hard to find out a general enemy or problem for each story. Every single one of the brothers has their own baggage to overcome, James with angels, Erik and Oribel, Sam with Dragon's and returned devil lover, Matthew with his Mother, Damien (but mostly Mika) dealing with his humanity.

So let's say "The Human Heart" generally could start in at least 3 ways.

1. Mika never finds out that she has magic, but she still has some magic in her which causes her to be kidnapped and Mika doesn't know jack shit of what's going on, what demons are, and what to do. A decent 4/10 idea.

2. Mika finds her grandfather journal again, and learns magic at a softer and slower pace. Though when reading she knows that it wouldn't be a good idea to tell her spouse that magic exists (because the book says so). So if she does get kidnapped, her spouse cannot help her. Decent 5 or 6/10

3. Mika finds the journal again, and decides it'd be beneficial to tell her human spouse what magic is (because keeping secrets isn't healthy in a relationship). She gets kidnapped because she has Demon magic, but assuming their human spouse learns what Mika learns. They could come to the Demon World. I like this one the best because it just the least amount of plot holes.

As for whether or not the Demon brothers are in the story. It could also go one of 4 general ways.

1. Just because the boys leave Mika in the first game, doesn't mean Diana was able to convince any of them to return, nor does it mean the boys wouldn't think about seeing Mika in the future. Say they come back to Chicago, only to hear the only Anderson child's been missing for the decent part of the week. 8/10

2. The brothers are part of the rebellion because when Diana convices the brothers to come back. They come back to Diana's kingdom in flames. 5/10

3. The boys never actually leave Mika in the first game, Mika just falls for Naomi/Suzu/Andrew. Mika goes missing before their wedding and the boys do the same thing like in any of the Canon routes. 7/10

4. The boys are not part of "The Human Heart storyline". 0/10

I might post more about the idea for The Human Heart.