#I forgot like half of these fucks names uhh

[ipegchangbin]

Imagine this: Changbin hiding the fact he tried to masturbate thinking his lover was out for too long..forgot to take out the vibrator in him and he tries to lie while holding back the noises..the whole night it's in him moving around and he keeps holding back..but when they are about to sleep his lover asks him if he's hiding anything..this has been in my head and it turns me on

anon. oh my god.

🏷️ sub!changbin. dom!gn!reader. established relationship. sex toys.

it’s so good. way too good to stop. changbin keeps the vibrator inside him while he fists his cock for what seems like forever.

he wishes that the vibrator was being controlled by you, so he recreates your cruelty — and sweetness — by hiding the remote under his pillow while he uses yours between his legs.

but before he could hump the pillow, hell seeps through the crack between the door frame once changbin realizes you’re at the door.

knock, knock, knock.

“binnie, i’m back,” you yawn, stretching your arm as you swing the door open.

oh fucking shit.

changbin isn’t quick enough despite your slow movements. he pulls up his shorts but forgets to turn the vibrator off, so he simply clamps his legs shut with your pillow instead. he looks all sorts of weird, face fully flushed and sweaty, his body covering more than half the bed, curly hair tousled although he hasn’t slept, face shocked as if he didn’t expect you home — though he should have, it’s just that he didn’t check the time.

so much for jerking off. rather, so much for thinking about you.

“how’ve you been?” you tilt your head, curious at your suspiciously flushed boyfriend.

thank god that the vibrator that you got for changbin is silent, but why did it have to be so strong? changbin

“i just…worked out a bit,” he huffs, “uhh, did some cooling down exercises here.”

“didn’t you just come from the gym?”

“i did! and…i was bored, so i did jumping jacks…” changbin cuts you off a little too excitedly.

there’s a star in changbin’s eye when he winks at you as a distraction from the fact that the little toy is fucking him on the highest setting. he struggles not to whine, so he coughs a bit after shooting you a reassuring smile.

you’re not really buying it though, but nothing shows on your face. he mistakes it for the coast being clear. he kind of hopes you’d briefly get out of the room, though.

“oh well. i also have some unfinished work.” you sit down on the edge of the bed beside his legs, reaching for your laptop from your bag. “mind if i just finish this?”

he minds. a lot.

firstly, you look way too hot. you’re just in everyday semiformal, but that’s the exact type of clothing changbin imagined you in while he was abusing his cock earlier. secondly, you’re right there and way too close. it makes the butterflies pool in his stomach, but the butterflies fly in tornadoes until they burst into flames. he figures it’s from both from the close proximity and from the sickeningly unforgiving vibrator.

and thirdly, the said vibrator found its way through changbin’s sweet spot, giving him a full body shiver. you could feel him quivering through the comforters.

“is my binnie okay?”

“i’m f-fine. just tired.”

you silently question whether muscle spasms can cause vibrations as big as that. they could, but not like that. in fact, he shakes eerily similar to the time you tried that vibrator for the first time.

he was a screaming mess. his ass was moving on its own, in the air and quivering from the sensations inside him. he kept begging for you, unclear with what he desired specifically, but you knew that he just wanted you. all of you. he wanted more of what you were doing, whining your name with no aim of a demand, drooling onto the bedsheets while his fists grabbed helplessly onto the pillows as you put the vibrator into the highest setting for seconds on end, making him cum.

it’s too bad he can’t do any of that now.

so he stares. he stares at you and what you’re working on while awkwardly trying to shift positions on the bed. he tries helplessly to stop the vibrator from hitting the spot that gets him cumming the hardest, but it only goes further in. his walls clench and tighten around the toy while he watches your fingers. he catches your reflection in the laptop screen.

he’s so fucked, literally and figuratively.

you look back at your pitiful boyfriend.

the poor pillow between changbin’s thighs and the vibrator is suspiciously wrinkled, but you think nothing of it as your boyfriend shifts his position slightly again. you think he’s just acting naturally cute like this, thighs squeezed against the fabric while the curvature of his ass peeks from behind his hips.

it looks delicious. so plump that not even the facade of his body can cover it. it looks especially full, and you know this even if you’re unaware that it’s literally filled.

you can’t help the urge, and so you slap changbin’s ass.

what a fucking mistake.

the boy’s eyes widen as he successfully bites back a supposedly loud whine. that’s what he thinks, as a little whimper betrays his lips in the process.

but you try to think nothing of it, smirking at him instead.

“so cute,” you coo.

if only he could run to the bathroom without cumming in his shorts. everything affects him to such a high degree that he’s red, warm to the touch, and sweating buckets. he merely digs his head into his pillow and clenches his ass instinctively, hopelessly looped back into the never-ending cycle of suffering that he got himself into.

then you get up from your spot. you slam the laptop down and stretch, putting the device lazily on the bedside table without a second thought. you toss your accessories off and simply stretch your back until it hits the bed, lying down beside changbin.

shit, shit, shit.

“i had a long day,” you start. “can we cuddle?”

“ah, uhm, sure, b-but i’m…a little sweaty and sore, yeah.” changbin fails to keep his cool.

“but we always hug even if you’re sweaty and sore.” you pout and squeeze his bicep. “we even fuck like that.”

god, if you don’t stop talking to him like this.

changbin lets out a small whine, attempting to hide his face in the pillow again. that’s when your suspicion ticks. you could feel a strong vibration against the bed and you’re not sure if it’s your boyfriend or your overheating laptop by the bedside table.

“are you sick?”

“no…”

“then what’s up?”

he looks away and that’s when you notice how watery his eyes are. his face is fully flushed, his ears are red. sweat gets his bangs sticking to his forehead. he looks like he’s quite literally heated up.

and he is. the vibrations of the machine inside his ass heats him up, which doesn’t help his already warming walls. his plush ass keeps it in and the more he involuntarily clenches, the more that he feels it whirring and hitting his insides. it almost hurts but it’s so good, and you’ve been at this for so long but he can’t blame you.

he wants to just admit it.

“are you hiding something?”

but he can’t.

“n-no…”

“binnie, you’re stuttering. you don’t look okay. is anything bothering you?”

he could cry. from the pain, from the pleasure, from the fact that you care so much about him that his heart swells as much as his sweet spot is swelling at this point. he can’t help this insane amount of love but fuck, if he could just turn it off.

but a part of him doesn’t want to.

and when you find out, you don’t either.

you yank your pillow out of changbin’s thighs and the vibrator slips out from the force.

you’ve been thinking about it since earlier: your pillow was sitting between his legs for seemingly no reason. though, you know him better than he does, and you know that’s a sign that he’s horny. he always masturbates with your pillow between his legs. you could only guess why, but your intuition serves you right as changbin stares in horror at the vibrator whirring outside of him.

for some reason, the emptiness of his ass hurts, but your reassuring smile cuts through it as he stares at your face.

“if you wanted me to help, you should’ve asked, binnie.”

[www-bvnny-b4b3couture]

Teeth

Deadpool and Wolverine needed help and Wade had the perfect(not at all) person in mind.

No idea abt the word count

Warnings: Blood, cussing, inappropriate jokes, small amounts of cannibalism, knarly looking mouth ima tell u now lmao

(Background on her for context, her mutation is actually that she can heal from basically any injury, BUT, she’ll only heal if she dies first. So to heal she needs to kill herself. She’s also just stronger and faster than the average person. Because of this scientists tracked her down and took her hostage, experimenting on her to get the “ultimate killing machine”. So they gave her those teeth and mouth, along with an insatiable craving for human flesh. Think like combining her dna or sum. Now her handlers use her as an assassin, and she’s somewhat succumbed to the instinct implanted in her brain.

I wanted to make a character like Mileena from Mortal Kombat, I love knarly powers 🙏🏼)

_________________________________________________

“Who the hell are we meeting, Wade?” Logan asked once they walked past their tenth storage unit, they were at the docks. “Uhh hold on I remember the number of it.” He held his finger up, inspecting each number and once again shaking his head ‘no’. Logan was starting to lose his patience when he suddenly pointing at a black cargo container.

“Alright- oh! I forgot to mention she doesn’t really like me.” Logan let out a genuine laugh, “Nobody likes you.” Wade just gave him a deadpanned face for a second before knocking on the door quite hard.

They were met with complete silence, Wade turned to Logan, “Mind knocking?” Logan rolled his eyes and knocked three times, this time the noise was startling and the crate was almost vibrating. “Attaa boy, I didn’t think mine would be loud enough.” Wade slapped Logan on the back, earning a scowl from him.

After a few seconds they heard some metal move and the door open an inch, 2 tiny throwing knives shot out. Wade let out a girlish scream, “Honey buns it’s me!” He shrieked, dodging another tiny knife.

“Wade get the fuck outta here!” A female voice suddenly shouted from inside. It was beginning to close but Wade quickly ran and grabbed it from her, pulling it back to open more, “You wanna lose your fingers fine!”

“Well now would be a great time to help, Wolverine!” Wade shouted his hero name mockingly, struggling against her. Logan firmly grabbed the door and all of a sudden the woman was easily overpowered by 2 to 1. An animalistic growl was heard as the door slid open and a black haired woman fell forward.

On all fours she sent a quick to Wade’s stomach, sending him flying back into another cargo container. Logan saw she had a black mask covering half of her face, only piercing amber eyes could be seen. She tried to kick him but he caught her by the ankle, she struggled against his grip. While she was physically stronger than Wade, not against him.

Realizing her situation she slipped her mask off, Logan cringed at the sight of her face. It looked like she had unhealed gashes along the corners of her mouth. A guttural growl escaped her throat and she opened her mouth. Her mouth began tearing at the sides, opening far wider than a humans mouth should, sharp razor like teeth lined her mouth instead of human teeth.

Suddenly sharp cat-like claws came out of her gloves and she slashed at his arm, causing him to drop her. She jumped up, attempting to slice at him but her eyes widened when she saw the giant claws coming out of his hand, stopping her attack. She growled and pushed against him, getting close enough to try and snap at him with her mouth. She wrapped her leg around his, using the fact he was heavier and knocking him over, with him falling first.

She attempted to bite at his face as they fell, using his forearm to block her bite she suddenly let out a painful scream when she bit down. She wasn’t aware of the adamantium encased all around his skeleton. She pushed herself off of him, making sure to get a bit of distance before stopping and clutching her mouth. “You fucking cock I think one of my teeth snapped.”

“Good you ugly bitch.” She scowled at Logan, who was staring at his bloody arm. “Fuck you, who do you think you are coming to MY house and knocking on my door like that?” She cursed back at him.

They both all of a sudden looked to Wade, who was just now getting up. “We need your help! You’re the only one I know who could help me find someone in 24 hours.” She rolled her eyes, “Why would I help you. The last time I saw you, you ran me over AND LEFT ME THERE. Which. FUCK YOU.”

That made Logan snap his head in Wade’s direction, giving him a ‘are you serious bro’ look.

“Well you tried eating me remember darling.” She rolled her eyes at him with a low growl, “Like always you were in my way.”

“Seriously what the fuck is wrong with both of you.” Logan muttered, she glared at him, her teeth becoming more visible.

“I can’t help either of you. Even if I wanted to.” She spoke calmer than she had the whole time, walking back into her box. But not before roughly bumping her shoulder into Logan’s on her way.

“She wants me.” Logan rolled his eyes at Wade, completely irritated with him since he wasted their time.

2 days later…

Wade and Logan were easily cutting down the men in their way of getting to the man they needed. Now on the third floor it was suspiciously quiet. They walked cautiously, guards up.

“Hey fuckheads.” Their heads snapped in the direction of the voice and Wade gasped when he saw her. “Baby! You care about me after all.” She scowled at him, “I will fucking eat you.”

“It’ll grow back every time.” She sighed in frustration and pulled out 2 sai from her sides, “You need to stop getting in my way.” She looked at Logan, “You too.”

Wade’s eyes widened in fake betrayal, but in reality he wasn’t surprised her handlers had her here. “Oh honeybuns, one day you’ll see I’m always there for you and you’ll realize you’re in love with me and we’ll make nasty debilitating hot sex.” He droned on, she shifted uncomfortably by the end before a dagger landed in his mouth.

She ran on all fours at them before jumping up and landing on Deadpool. Letting out the growl of an animal, her mouth open wide, biting Wade’s forearm clean off. Not stopping there, biting and snapping at him like a mad man. Her teeth easily tearing into whatever flesh she could.

She let out a screech when she felt something impale through her shoulder, pulling her back and lifting her up by her shoulder. She bent her back, trying to claw at Wolverine but he landed a punch right in her nose, she growled, using a sai in her hand and slashing at his hand where he was holding her captive by claw.

That caused him to retract his claws and she grunted feeling the metal slide out and landed on all fours, kicking Logan’s knee and making him drop down. As she was turning around she noticed a flash of red and was suddenly blocking a strike from a sword.

“We were meant to be honey buns. I’m your unlimited buffet.” She could see a grin through his mask and she slashed at him with her free hand, jumping up and trying to snap at him. With his other sword he caught her mid bite, she growled, struggling against him. He could see his sword beginning to fold and he kicked her knee harshly, crunch. That made her release his sword and fall on her knees, she wasted no time though and sent one of her sai into his torso.

She let out a shriek when she felt herself be impaled right in the stomach by familiar claws, and then she heard static in her ear piece before hearing a familiar voice. “MK. Scientist Lenovo has successfully been transferred to another location. Pull away.” She gritted her teeth, well it was a bit late now.

The two men noticed her change, now longer looking determined. She went a bit limp in Logan’s claws, looking at Wade, “The man you want isn’t here anymore.”

“What?!” Wade shrieked, looking into her eyes, not trusting if she was lying or not but as he looked into her eyes he knew she was being honest. “God dammit! So you were just here to distract us!”

“Get your fucking claws out of me.” She turned her head to Logan who was behind her. “I should slice through your ugly ass.” She gritted her teeth, “Fuck you old fuck.” She felt his claws dig in deeper somehow and she tried not to let a sound of pain out. She grabbed onto Wade who was arms length and used him to pull herself off. “Oo I knew you would see it one day-” He started before getting socked in the nose. She knocked him back into the wall.

She landed a bit weirdly since her knee was broken, she put distance between herself and the two men. She needed to get out of here soon.

“MK. Pull out.” The voice in her ear piece sounded less patient than before, she looked around a bit frantically. The sound of a helicopter could be heard and she saw a bright light from it appear from outside the window.

Logan was able to hear the voice in her intercom and realized she was looking for an exit. She sighed and realizing the quickest way out.

“Why do you work for them?” The question was out of nowhere and it made her brows furrow at Logan, she stared at him for 2 seconds silently. “What else am I supposed to do?” She scoffed at him before running at the window full speed and jumping out, the glass shattering making her eyes ring.

As she jumped out there was a rope coming down from the helicopter. It began pulling her up, he could see into it. There were a few men in complete black getups inside, one of the men suddenly raised a gun to her head, firing without hesitation.

That made Logan’s eyes almost pop out of his face but Wade laughed and pointed at his face, “Oh my god you should see your face. It’s ok silly goose she can heal like us except she needs to die first. So inconvenient huh? We’re so much better right. Made me shit myself the first time she hopped back up.” He nudged his shoulder earning a glare from Logan.

“Gives me the creeps.” His expression unreadable as he watched the helicopter disappear into the air.

A/n: This is the first ever fanfic I wrote on tumblr guyss. Lowk wish I could say it was better but like I’m barely gettin my groove guys. 🌚 Ima probably make more parts for this since I just like wanted to write how they met first. Also the pics r just refs for her mouth not actual her looks.

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[slaymybreathaway]

Romeo and Juliet (James Maguire x Reader)

Part 2/2

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,298

Masterlist ♡ Read Part 1 Here

It has been two weeks since Michelle revealed that Y/n and James like eachother in front of everyone... and since then, the pair hadn't talked to each other much.

They only hung out together when they were with the rest of the group and they only communicated in short 'His' and 'Byes'. It was very awkward, but neither of them knew what to say.

♡

Y/n sat in her English class, trying to focus on her assignment when she heard her teacher mutter the words "Ah, fuck,"

The girl tried her hardest not to laugh at her teacher's uncharacteristic profanity but immediately snapped out of it when she heard her name being called.

"Mr. Maguire and Ms. L/n, could the two of you please go to the storage cupboard and grab the two boxes that has the copies of Romeo and Juilet in them. I forgot to bring them to class,"

Y/n glanced at James, who was sitting near the back of the class, only to find that he was already looking at her. They both looked away quickly, hoping the other person didn't catch them staring.

"Yes miss," the pair replied in unison before leaving the classroom, both of them looking towards the ground.

Neither y/n or James spoke a word on their walk to the storage cupboard. It was the first time that they had been alone together in weeks.

While they were walking, James was trying to figure out how he would start the conversation, how he would tell y/n that Michelle was right about his feelings for her.

Y/n opened the door of the cupboard, almost sneezing from the dust. She pulled on the string attached to the bare lightbulb above her head and the inside illuminated. The space was quite big, it was more like a small room than a cupboard, but the boxes and shelves on each of the walls made it that there was only about two square meters of standing room.

"Can you hold the door? It's one of those ones that you can't open from the inside," Y/n turned to James.

"Yeah sure," he quickly nodded, as he stood with his back to the cupboard door.

Y/n tried to look through a few of the boxes, there was exam papers and old documents but no sight of Romeo and Juliet.

The girl stood on her tip-toes as she tried to take the top box off of the big stack in the corner, but it was heavier than expected and came falling down towards her head.

Y/n shut her eyes, anticipating the weight of the box but it never came... as she opened her eyes, she saw that James was standing right beside her, slowly putting the box on the floor.

"Are you alright?" He asked. Y/n could hear his English accent seeping through as he spoke. She had always found his accent incredibly attractive but would never dare to tell anyone.

"Uhh, yeah. Thank you James," she smiled a little flustered. The pair were frozen still, just staring at each other in silence. Their moment was broken when they heard the cupboard door click shut.

Y/n rushed to the door as she furiously tried to turn the handle, but it was no use. She turned back to face James. "I think we're locked in" she said before looking inside the box on the ground. "But at least we found the books!"

James' face expression became one of panic as he frantically knocked on the door, obviously not caring about the books. "Let us out of here!" He shouted.

Y/n then burst out into laughter as she slid to sit on the floor. It was the middle of a class so no one would be wandering the halls for another half-hour. This whole situation just seemed hilarious to her.

"What are you laughing for," James crossed his arms. He couldn't help but crack a smile at the girl's contagious laugh.

"I'm never talking to you again. You're cursed!" She joked as you continued to laugh uncontrollably.

"What do you mean?" James chuckled. He was happy that the awkwardness seemed to be gone, although the knew that the peace wouldn't last forever.

"The first time I talk to you in 2 weeks and we get trapped in a dusty, old cupboard," y/n explained as she calmed down.

The English boy rolled his eyes. "Ok, it hasn't been 2 weeks," he argued although he knows it probably was.

"Uh, yeah it has," the Irish girl stood up so she could prove her point. "I haven't spoke to you since Michelle told-" y/n started, but quickly went silent as she realise where the conversation was heading.

James shut his eyes closed as he ran his hand through his mop of curly hair. The awkwardness had come back just as quickly as it had gone. He knew he had to say something or else it would be like this forever.

"Listen, y/n, I'm really sorry about what Michelle said, you know how she is. I'm also really sorry that I didn't apologise earlier. I just didn't know how to-" he started to ramble, but was cut off by Y/n.

"Is what Michelle said true? James do you- do you like me as more than a friend?" Y/n asked him straight up. She needed to know the answer.

James looked towards the ground. He wanted to say no but he couldn't lie, not to her. She deserved the truth. He slowly nodded and he looked up to see y/n standing there, eyes wide.

"Shit. I'm sorry y/n. I- I shouldn't have said anything but I just thought that you might've liked me back. Now I see that I'm totally wrong so... just forget about it," James continued embarrasedly.

Then, Y/n did something that she had wanted to do since she first met James. She took hold of his face and pressed her lips against his passionately. It took the boy a minute to process what was happening, but once he did he wrapped both arms around y/n's waist and pulled her tightly against him.

A few moments later, y/n pulled away from the kiss. She didn't bother moving out of James' embrace, however. "You were not totally wrong, James. I like you, alot," the girl confirmed.

James broke into a smile as he looked at the girl infront of him. "Does that mean your my girlfriend, now?"

Y/n let out a small giggle. "Yeah, I think it does,"

This time, James was the one initiating the kiss as he pulled her closer and felt one of her hands running through his hair. The couple were so caught up in the moment that they didn't even hear the cupboard door opening.

"Fucking hell, I don't think that's how 7 minutes in heaven works... someone has to dare ya," a voice proclaimed, which made the teenagers immediately distance themselves as much as possible.

They turned to see Michelle, a smirk growing on her face. James' face turned a bright shade of red as he came face to face with his cousin, who was definatley gonna taunt him about this later. "What are you doing here, Michelle?" he asked, breathlessly.

Michelle laughed. "I was sent to look for you both. Everyone thought yous were mitchin'. But now I see that you were just swapping saliva in a filthy press that smells of moth balls... real romantic,"

"Shut up and help us carry these back to class," y/n shot back at her friend as she picked up the box on the floor and put it into Michelles open arms.

[lifesteal-headcanons]

Rekrap hc because I can't get those off my head!! And I love rekrap!!!

- theyre an unconscious shapeshifter. Hear me out.

Everyone know they're not human. Everyone knows they're a hybrid. But what the fuck are they?? Some ppl say they're a deer hybrid, or a bunny hybrid, of a moth hybrid. But he's all of them. And more. They just can't choose what they're gonna be today. Like mostly they'll just have deer antlers, but one day they just woke up with moth wings and said "uhh what the heck". Also he has a diary for all the times he turned into a different type of hybrid

Also he can morph, so sometimes he can have deer antlers and bunny ears for example (inspired by Snuggle's rekrap fanarts (idk if that's how you write their name))

- hes kinda anti-social (C!rek. Or cc!rek. Dunno the difference :< )

Trust issues. A lot of. He doesn't trust a single soul on this server. So why have his base somewhere people can find, when he can make it thousands and thousands of blocks away from everyone, and consequentially being safe?

- he constantly talks to himself and no one tell me otherwise

- his paranoia is so frequent its actually a person on his head

Sounds a bit crazy (I think). But makes sense to me. So, c!rek/cc!rek is so paranoid of everything being a trap and is so exhausted of this, his paranoia became a person (we're calling it rek. And we're calling c!rek rekrap). Rek looks exactly like rekrap but without the hybrid features, and without scars too (no one's telling me c!rek/cc!rek doesn't have scars). Rek is basically rekrap but... without the trauma. He can "control" the way he looks like, but instead of being a shadowy thing, rek has a more friendly look so he doesn't give rekrap a heart attack by accident. And rek's only purpose is to warn rekrap when things look too sketchy bc rekrap is so paranoid and scared and has so many trust issues and stuff like that he's constantly exhausted, always looking like he'll just lay on the ground and sleep. Also rek sometimes listens to rekrap yapping about anything

- c!rek/cc!rek has no sleep at all. Like- once or twice every 2 weeks. But when he sleeps, you're not seeing him for the next 3 days, maybe more if he happens to morph into a bear hybrid during winter (bear hybrid + winter + exhausted rek = you're not seeing him for the next 1 or 2 weeks)

- he knows where everyone lives. I can imagine he's just like talking to branzy and branzy goes "yeah I still need to grab my shulker box, I borrowed it to pangi and forgot to ask back" (I wrote branzy and pangi here bc they were the first ones that came to mind) and rek just goes "why don't you take it back yourself" "idk where his base is" and then 1 hour and a half later, rek returns with the shulker box

- I feel like he'd leave a small present after fighting or killing someone. Like let's say rek killed zam. On the next day, there'd be a shulker box infront of zam's base with a "sorry for killing you, hope we're still friends" note and some diamonds/gapples. The only question zam has us "... how the fuck does he know my base is here????"

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes, it's 3:30am currently, my fingers are not working because its cold and English is not my first language)

- 💍anon

.

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Blitzø X human!assassin! Reader

First encounter

Summary: Blitzø gets a commission for your murder. Naturally, you'd prefer not to get murdered. Unlike his previous victims, you actually have the skills to avoid bullets... And to charm the imp.

A/n: This is the first part of the short series. I will definitely post at least two more parts. Here you have links to all the parts currently available:

Part 1: First Encounter -> you're here:)

Part 2: Blooming feelings

You were an assassin

But unlike Blitzø, you were selective in your targets. You didn't JUST kill. You killed the worst of the worst: rapists, murderers, basically the scum of the Earth

No wonder, you ended up on Blitzø's hit list. You had a lot of enemies in hell, it was only a matter of time, until one of them commissioned your death.

Yes, your line of job was dangerous and demanded killing people. You know what else it demanded? Not being killed in return

Which is why Blitzø's first assault on you failed miserably:

You were walking down the street, minding your business, really. You were off work (aka not killing people at the moment). A rare occasion, which is why you decided to use it to the max and enjoy your day to the fullest. So yes, you were making your way down the street.

That's when the shooting started. To say you were pissed would be an understatement of the year.

"Come on" you grumbled falling to the ground, trying to avoid the bullets "Why can't I have a single day without having to fight for my life?"

Blitzø didn't expect this to be a hard job.

He didn't think of you as a strong or capable, for that matter, oponent.

You didn't think this fight would last long.

You didn't think your assailant was very much capable either.

Needless to say, both of you were very much wrong.

Half an hour has gone by and your fight was still in progress. You were currently behind a car, which was starting to get filled with more and more bullet holes.

"Hey! Maybe stop wasting bullets?" You shouted in frustration.

"Wouldn't have to if you just died" you got a reply. You rolled your eyes. "And anyways, why are you bitching about my shooting? Like you could do better" his voice was grumpy, like a small child about to throw a tantrum

"Yeah, I actually could. I'd kill you with one"

"Why haven't ya then?"

"I forgot my gun at home" was your pissed reply

You heard laughter from the other side of your impromptu hiding spot.

"Haha that fucking sucks for ya, bitch"

"Yeah, I figured that much..." You said in resignation.

You risked a glance from behind the car and earned yourself a rain of bullets.

That's how you spent the next 20 minutes: exchanging quips, followed by series of machine gun fire and repeat.

Sometimes you had to change your place of cover, seeing as the assailant managed to destroy it or approach you from the side.

And finaly, time came for the question:

"Why'd you want to kill me anyway?"

"Well, hmmmm" the shooting stopped for a moment. 'Guess we're back to talking', you thought.

"How do I say it?" He continued nonchalantly "I got a comission to kill ya. Got paid hard cash for it. So soz, but ya gotta go babe. Nooooo hard feelings" he said in a childish, mocking voice.

"Oh! Who was it?"

"Whaaaat?"

"I mean, who payed for my ticket to the other side?" You clarified.

"Uhh just some dude named-"

"Wait! No! Let me guess" he didn't protest, so you started listing off names:

"Was it... Rogers? Adams? Smith? It must've been Smith, that son of a gun had it out for me" seeing as he didn't confirm it, you continued, "Not Smith, then. Uhhh Carols? Barnes? Danvers? No? Was it the leader of that cartel I shut down a month ago?"

Finally Blitzø had to interrupt and actually tell you who it was. He was startled (and slightly impressed) by how many people actualy wanted you dead

When he ran out of bullets, time came for hand to hand combat. You didn't disappoint him in this area either.

Aaaand you got a chance to get a better look at the guy. Though.... you had your doubts whether it was a 'guy'... His skin was red, with some white marks, and he had horns, long, curving slightly towards the end. From your rich experience with human beings, he definitely wasn't one...

You ducked from a punch coming your way and retaliated with a sweeping roundhouse kick.

"What's" you said between the heavy breaths of exhaustion "your... Name?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Blitzø, the o is silent" he breathed out "Yours?"

"Y/n" you replied

"Cool" he replied as a few more punches came your way. A bit later he continued:

"Now if you'd let me do my job..."

"Gosh, you're so stupid. This is so inefficient" you stopped abruptly, causing him to stop as well.

"I can't just let you go. I have to kill you!"

"Ugghhh, don't you get it? You should wait until your have at least 5 more murder requests for me. That way you get quantuple the amount of money. Gosh you're so stupid "

"So, you don't mind me killing you? Cuz, you see, that's kind of hard to believe, sweetcheecks"

"Look, I'm telling you the most efficient way to use your resources. I'm not telling you I'd be an easy kill...."

"Well I guess I could-" Blitzo was cut off by an explosion. The air was filled with smoke. In one swift movement, you jumped over a fence and a few minutes later you were on your merry way home.

You see, you weren't just idly hiding from the bullets.

You didn't have ammo, but you had knowledge and... Some chemicals you forgot to unpack from your bag. With your limited supply, you managed to produce some semblance of a smoke bomb.

And that's how you got away.

Blitzø tracked you down again. And you escaped. So he found you again, and you managed to avoid death oncemore

At first, you took your 'rivalry' seriously, you really did. But there's only that many times you can engage in mortal combat with a person before it becomes ridiculous to deny that there is more to it than just killing each other.

You realised, that you started to look forward to Blitzø's surprise attacks. And Blitzø realised that maybe sometimes he has been throwing off his aim on purpose

Both of you were scared to admit your feelings, but the whole endeavour was starting to cross the line to absurdity

Something needed to be done about it

So..... You took the initiative:

It was another fight. It was becoming a routine by now. This one, however, would end with a small twist

The smoke bomb went off, you could hear the shattering of glass and the revving of the motorbike. Y/n was gone.

"And she's gone..." Blitzø stated and was about to leave through the portal, when Moxxie pulled his sleeve:

"Sir, there's a card on the floor"

Blitzo picked it up, it was a note. In a neat handwriting the following was written:

Despite being sent to kill me

(and failing miserably),

you're chill

Call me:)

314 159 2653

You got a text this very evening

A/n: that's part 1! Hope you liked it:) The second part will encompass your and Blitzo's developing relationship… so.... Stay tuned ig

(I'll probably post it somewhere around 6th or 7th May?)

[arc-misadventures]

Rebirth AU since there's a strong chance of Winter being Jaune and Jeanne's half-sister. Did Jaune ever hook up with Winter in his last life, I'm just imagining Jaune reacting to him remembering that he may have fucked his sister in his last life

Stop Asking Asking Me About My Sex Life!!

Jeanne: So, Jaune you saw, Winter allot when you were in, Atlas, right?

Jaune: No we didn’t do anything.

Jeanne: What are you even talking…?

Jaune: We never dated, we never had a one night stand We never took innovatory in a supply closet. We rarely even spoke outside missions, and such. Nothing ever happened between me, and Winter Schnee in my past life.

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: But, if you could…

Jaune: No. I never liked, Winter…

Jaune: Well, I did like her, but I never liked her like that.

Jeanne: So, nothing happen between you, and Winter.

Jaune: Nope.

Jeanne: But, something happened between you and all those, Atlas Milfs, eh~?

Jaune: Why are you so interested in my sex life?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Because you had one…

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Jeanne: You had a sex life! You were this blond Adonis who had multiple conquests! And, I only had the one girl, and you slept with her too!

Jaune: Who?

Jeanne: You… You slept with, May. Right?

Jaune: Nope. We were going to go on a group date; May, Pyrrha, and I. Then the, Fall happened. And, I lost them both…

Jeanne: O-Oh right… I forgot… Since the, Fall didn’t happen in my world…

Jaune: Gods I wish I could forget that day…

Jeanne: Does it… It still hurts?

Jaune: Always. Even with, Pyrrha back in my life it still hurts… The hidden fear I may lose her, and everyone else I ever cared for again… It terrifies me.

Jeanne: Is that why you’re pushing, Pyrrha to use her semblance more, so you don’t lose her again?

Jaune: Partly; I want her to have more fine control; She used to use it as a fan, blowing away her opponents, attacks. If she used it more, if she mastered her semblance, she could use it to hit you with the force of a sledgehammer, or cut you with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. I want her to be better, because I know she can be better! And, I don’t want to lose her again…

Jeanne: But, there isn’t the threat of, Salem, and her Grimm hordes! She should be safe this time.

Jaune: The Grimm are still out there, and based on the news we don’t have the peaceful, White Fang in this world. So we have no idea what we may face when we start out on the path to becoming, Hunters. So, are we really safe?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Haaa… Damn you, and your deep philosophical questions…

Jaune: Hehe. So… Winter Schnee… Should it be, Winter Arc Schnee, or Winter Schnee Arc?

Jeanne: Arc Schnee. Rolls off the tongue better. And, she’s spent all her life a, Schnee. So, I don’t think she’d be okay being called, Arc all of a sudden because she just found out, Dad is her real father.

Jaune: Make sense, but considering the hell her father put her through she may not want to keep her last name.

Jeanne: Wait, hold up, what did her father do to her?

Jaune: …?

Jaune: What did, William tell you about his father…?

Jeanne: Uhh… He was was a respected, and honourable man, who strove for the rights of Faunas everywhere. He ushered in a new era of prosperity, and equality for all. He was also a loving father, and faithful husband. I met him myself, he was a very nice person to be around. He also had a wicked sense of humour. What was he like in your world?

Jaune: A cash greedy bastard, who trampled on the rights of others, particularly the faunas. Destroyed anything, and anyone who got in his way for a quick buck. Told, Willow Schnee to her face he married her for the family business on, Weiss’s tenth birthday. Drove, Willow Schnee to become a reclusive alcoholic. Lead to, Winter Schnee to join the military to escape from her father. Abused, Weiss mentally to keep her in line. Groomed his youngest son, Whitely to become a mini carbon copy of him. Rigged an election that eventually lead to the total destruction of, Atlas, and Mantle.

Jeanne: Okay… And, I thought your life was just shit for you, not that everyone else’s life was also shit for them too!

Jaune: Yeah, I didn’t think that way for your world too. I thought it was all sunshine, and rainbows for everyone there.

Jeanne: Evidently not. Does that mean we’re not living in, ‘my world!’

Jaune: Hmm… Have you ever heard the name, ‘Adam Taurus, before?

Jeanne: No. But, I knew a, Eve Taurus before.

Jaune: And, what were they like?

Jeanne: They were nice person. She was a redhead faunas with an overly bubbly, and welcoming faunas. Horny.

Jaune: Are you talking about her faunas traits, or her state of mind?

Jeanne: Yes.

Jaune: …

Jaune: Okay then.

Jeanne: So who was, Adam? The female counterpart to, Eve?

Jaune: Well… He was a Pro-Faunas racist radical who was part of an terrorist organization called, The White Fang. Who lead a splinter cell of these terrorist to help in the destruction of, Beacon Academy. He then tried to destroy, Haven Academy, but was eventually stopped by the new peaceful, White Fang. But, he was eventually stopped when he was killed by, Yang, and Blake. All of this was no doubt caused by his childhood trauma, and ant-faunas racism that was directed at as a child, as well as the fact that the letters, SDC was branded on his left eye.

Jeanne: …

Jaune: Did I mention the fact he was, Blake’s ex-boyfriend?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Okay… That… Yeah, okay…

Jaune: …

Jeanne: So… What kind of world are we living in then?

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Jeanne: Well… It’s just… We thought it was my world because, Selma is in charge of, Beacon Academy. But, it has your version of the, White Fang, and it seems like we also have the, SDC of your world too. However, Winter wasn’t our sister in either of our worlds. So what kind of world is this?

Jaune: A new one. It has some of the same elements in both of our worlds, but, it has a bunch of new ones as well. Makes it pretty exciting doesn’t it?

Jeanne: Yeah it kinda does.

Jaune: Haaa… We’re going to have one hell of a talk with mom, and dad about our past lives.

Jeanne: Any idea how we’re going to deal with that?

Jaune: We just roll with the punches?

Jeanne: Sounds like a plan.

Jeanne: Wait… Considering how this is a different life, and what not… Will, Terra take your first time… Do you think someone else may have your first time instead~?

Jaune: First off: Why the hell are you so interested in my sex life?! Second: Terra wasn’t my first time.

Jeanne: She wasn’t…?!

Jaune: Or, was she~?

Jeanne: So she was…? R-Right?

Jaune just smiled cheekily as he walked away with, Jeanne chasing after him.

Jeanne: J-Jaune… Jaune what happened! Who took your first time, Jaune! WHAT HAPPENED!!!

[lmanblog]

HELLOO HELLO PEOPLE OF THE L’MANBLOG!!!

It’s I, Tubbo tub Tubbo :D being forced to do an intro.. sighhhhh.. (stares at you Tommy.)

I’m Tubbo!! Well, a ficition kin of C!Tubbo, you can also call me Bee if you’d like ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

I’m probably the one most open to asks, so PLEASE ASK.. I’m funny I pinky swear!! (I also want to talk to new people…)

Bodily 15!

I myself will probably only be responding to people between a 13-23 yr old age group, as I’m uncomfy interacting with people older/younger on the internet

I go by She/They ..(and if you wanna use neo’s) Star/Fluff

FANDOMS???

Murder drones

Pokémon

Madoka Magica

Genshin

Hilda

Law and Order (SVU)

Creepypasta

DSMP.. 😨😨

Steven universe (Cartoon network shows in general)

UNDERTALE + AU’s (biggest HYPERFIXTION EVER..)

Project SEKAI

FNAF game series

Omori

Aggrestuko

Yaelokre

Yan sim..

And uhhhh…

It’s 3am I can’t remember anything else right now

OH YEAH KIRBY

Fucking love kirby

And HTTYD

Demon slayer

YAY OKAY.. I forgot like half but that’s okay because Tubbo is tired and they should probably go to bed! (I’m not going to)

ALSO KIN LIST.. SO FAR THAT I CAN REMEMBER.

Dream (Dreamtale au)

Lumine (Genshin, traveller ver.)

Freminet (Genshin)

Ganyu (Genshin)

Madoka (Madoka Magica)

Mari (Omori)

Tubbo (DSMP)

Fundy (DSMP)

Uzi (murder drones)

Dust/Bunny (Dust!Tale, I like the name bunny. Haha, dust bunny. Puns)

Espeon (Pokémon)

Pearl (Steven universe )

Nene (Project Sekai)

Saki (Project sekai)

Kagemine Rin (Vocaloid)

Sally (Creepypasta)

Clementine (Yaelokre)

I’m tired gys

Uhh

I’ll fix this later. ….. or neve… ITS 3AM HOY FUCK

ANYWAYS.

Along with answering most of the ask’s.. I’ll do stimboards, kinhelp.. song reco’s too if you guys want em :3

Basically whatevers..

im also Aussie. Fear me. I’m on my hands to crawl to you upside down!!

Giggles

Tommy loves me (gay)

[whathedickens]

ok uhh all the guys bunny has fuck uhhhh abel (ofc), that hobo, some mob guy, that rave guy i forgot the name of, like randy once, and i’m 99% sure him and theoroar fucked at least ONCE !

and now YOU

" i dont believe half of that . . NOBODY wants to fuck theoroar , or randy , or the hobo . i think . "

[crow-in-gotham]

BLOG POST NO. 19 - IDIOTS-IN-GOTHAM INTRODUCTION

I have come to the realization that I, like the great and wonderful friend that I am, forgot to introduce my friend group despite the fact that I’ve mentioned them on this blog on more than one occasion.

So, looks like introductions are in order :D 

I made them play rock paper scissors on who would go first—

Thus, introducing the winner of said rock paper scissors game: @tagaminalan! Who I just refer to as Lan because that’s easier— He goes by he/him pronouns. He’s 19 years old (ha, old person) and is an HRM student. Oh, and also a part-time barista at the university’s local coffee shop. If you’ve been there then chances are that you’ve met him. Other relevant information is uhh he’s Filipino as well so there’s that.

Next we have the loser of the rock paper scissors: @RayneOrShine! Or just Ray, as I like to call them. Pronouns are he/they. He’s 19 years old but is older than me by like 9 days, so I can still point and laugh at them. He’s a Psychology Major— and yes, we have joked about him becoming an evil villain at some point (as you do) (how’s that “how to not be a villain” class going). Other information that might be interesting is that they’re half Filipino.

We mostly bonded because, you know, Pinoy and all that jazz— but also because we all happened to be in the same store that was getting robbed by a wannabe villain. Said wannabe villain then proceeded to get his ass whooped by Spoiler and Orphan. Other people might call it group (who needs) therapy, but we just call it trauma bonding.

If this post was made in the beginning then I’d say “that’s all” but it’s been a while and as we all know, I have two other friends that I feel obligated to add onto here or else they might have my head if they find out somehow.

Anyone who’s read the other blog posts knows this already, but I am also friends with Tim Drake-Wayne and Duke Thomas-Wayne, so that’s neat. Me and Tim bond over our mutual love for caffeine (others say it’s unhealthy but to that we say “fuck you”). Meanwhile, me and Duke met thanks to a group project and we kinda have a “yapper-listener” kind of dynamic. For some reason he tolerates my rants about random bullshit (he’s a real one for that).

If we’re counting friends from outside of school, then that would be Barbara Gordon and that one neighbor of mine who I don’t know the name of but we keep having conversations because we live downstairs and one of our windows happens to align and are in perfect talking distance.

I would also add the Red Hood as a special mention here, but he ate the last of my biko so he’s on the naughty list until he gets me that coconut milk he promised.

[seth-burroughs]

The Rain Code x Warriors au no one asked for nor will receive an explanation for

What's up I'm still doing bad and feel my last year's mystery stress sickness is coming back and none of my drafts are anywhere remotely close to getting finished anytime soon because of that how are you are you interested in cat

(picked the TPB timeline because it makes the most sense and has the most fitting characters, but I might cheat or bend it a little, we'll see)

Yuma Kokohead -> Rusty/Firestar

Main boy :) because of course he is. Yuma's now an orange cat. Firestar was the name of Number One, and Rusty (canonically Fire's old house cat name, I'm not calling them kittypets I'm sorry) was the name of the trainee he very politely borrowed his identity for.

Makoto Kagutsuchi -> Scourge

In wc canon, Scourge is also Firestar's half-brother (but they don't ever knooow) and they both kill each other + he's canonically stated to be VERY short like one of the smallest cats in the series. After the cloning, Makoscourge painted his fur completely black except for a one white paw (for the aesthetics. or maybe I'll just give Fire a white paw as well, kinda like Yuma's and Makoto's lil ahoges), started wearing the "OwO" mask, the dog tooth studded shrimp color collar, the fucking blood dyed amv bangs, the dog tooth reinforced claws........ The former CEO took him to hot topic for the first time in his life and he was fucking MESMERIZED none of them knew what they have brought upon themselves by this single act. He is a very silly man, lost in the whimsy. When his mask gets pulled off in the Mystery Labirynth, his face is just not dyed at all and it's just ginger with green eyes just like Rusty's/Firestar's/Yuma's/whatever.

Shinigami -> Spottedleaf

In canon, Spottedleaf does infamously end up haunting Firestar's dreams as a ghost to send him cryptic visions and furiously make out with him in front of his pregnant wife, he did have a crush on her before she died and I'm pretty sure she was retconned into reciprocating it was real bad and then they double killed her so Fire won't have to choose between her and his wife in heaven it was REAL bad uhh. I still like her though. I can get you out of the narrative girl just take my hand.... She can be the weirdgirl incarnate she was always meant to be. I wanted to say something else but then I realized holy shit I'm just tweaking her into Bonefall rewrite Spottedleaf am I... What can I say it IS peak Spottedleaf.

Yomi Hellsmile -> Tigerstar

Also extremely obvious. He is evil and has immaculate sexual tension between the protag whoops sorry I forgot literally only me and like 2 other people here ship Yuma and Yomi uhh anyway. While it does fit I'm a little dissapointed that Yomi/Tigerstar is gonna be losing so much of his cringe charm..... Like, say goodbye to deeply unserious insecure prettyboy toothpick Yaoi with silly little insults such as "umbrella sewing machine man operating hand hook car table" and how do I even describe all of this in less than 3 paragraphs. Say hello to broad-shouldered muscular extremely intimidating 100% serious and competent fascist built like a fucking brick shithouse with very broad-shoulders that doesn't need a henchman boytoy to handle all his numerous murders, have I mentioned his massive fucking broad shoulders, Firestar sure did do that a lot. It's like, where's the fun..... Whatever.... I guess...........😔😔😔

Martina Electro -> Leopardstar

Now for an assigned role I'm way more cool with >:)))) for an outrageously long while I had trouble with whether Martina should be Sasha or Goldenflower, fool I was, until I remembered Leopardstar fucking exists. She is literally perfect like I cannot state this enough. AND canonically she was later retconned to have feelings for Tigerstar but I hate to acknowledge it how dare you massacre Lep like that. She can still be his gf alongside vice director though, she's just engaging in acts of deceit whilst putting opioids in his food and trying her darndest to convince herself she's actually 100% in control of the situation before she's dragged to the cube dimension and has a brief "are we the baddies" moment. I don't think she still resigns from being a peacekeeper though Leopardstar 100% would take that fucking promotion the moment she's offered it and a year later when she' done feeling guilty regresses back into being a violent asshole she has learned NOTHING❤️

Fake/Hitman Zilch -> Darkstripe

So many dissapointments happening here sigh..... This one was obvious and honestly the only valid option for FZilch aside from maybe Nightwhisper or Blackfoot? Anyway, the downsides: one, Darkstripe will never be as cool as fake Zilch he thrives on being a cringe mistreated lickspittle. Two, he's definitely not one of Tigerstar's "closest advisors (🏳️‍🌈)" whilst Dark is pretty obsessed Tiger does not give a shit and considers him a looooooser boooo lameee fuck you *canonically swats him away with his tail that one scene*. But, I mean, at least the toxic yaoi became an entire new category of toxic.

Swank Catsonell -> Brokenstar

Pure vibes. It just fits. He employs small children and makes them fight to the death in his office for glory

Seth Burroughs -> Longtail

In canon, another one of Tigerstar's lackeys that didn't know about his crimes and when he found out he immediately left. I thought he was not evil enough to be Seth at first, but it kinda fits and he does make up for it in his cringe value and being noted to be a coward, though that may have been just Fire's opinion. Also, with all the bunny Seth Burrows jokes, I'd like to mention Longtail got his eyes clawed by a rabbit so hard he went blind so do with that what you will

Guillaume Hall -> Russetfur

Aaaand this is where I started having trouble with the remaining peacekeepers. Eventually I settled on Russetfur & Blackfoot/Blackstar for Guillaume and Dominic, because I like this danger duo I and some of the fandom completely made up about them. It's okay, the authors don't know you like we do...... While Blackstar did have a higher rank and Russet was his deputy, I do think she still had at least an equal amount of power as him, they're buddies pair bonded for life Blackstar is nodding respectfully to whatever incomprehensible wisdom she's sharing

Dominic Fulltank -> Blackfoot/star

In canon, started out as a murderous henchman of two major equally murderous evil dictators, before they both died and he finally got that boss promotion he always wanted, then he got ruined by the, you guessed it, retcons, but I don't like to be reminded of his atrocity of a novella. I always imagined Blackstar as like, unbelievably jacked holy shit the muscles on that cat, (and honestly most of the fandom does too so. lmao) and he does indeed canonically unflinchingly do the dirty work of all his bosses such as killing and maiming and destroying an

You get the point. He serious'd. Darkstripe wishes he could be him. And I'm pretty sure that was even canonically implied in the sixth book lmaooooooooo. Loser <3

Dr. Huesca -> um. Goosefeather?

The looks definitely fit, Dr. Huesca indeed bears striking resemblance to that tortured feline. However, while sometimes an asshole, Goose is definitely not evil... But he could be. He deserves to be. As a treat. Also: old man pride

Kurumi Wendy -> Cinderpaw/pelt

Easy, get Cinder'd idiot. They even have a pretty similiar energy too, I feel. This is where I got a bit tired, uhh...It's 11pm. Anyway I love Cinder and I love Kurumi say anything bad about them and I'll start scream crying on the floor

Halara Nightmare -> Yellowfang

Halara gets the old beam. They're now in their fucking 60s or something perhaps 70s. Yellowfang, on the other hand, gets the non-binary spec beam. She already gave off massive butch vibes in canon already, whatever. I don't think I can uhh in short terms explain Yellowfang's whole deal rn but the gist of it she's a very snarky grandma figure to Fire that gradually warmed up to him while she was- my cat vomited. While he was assigned to take care of her while she was taken prisoner into ThunderClan camp. Her personality's pretty funky. And she does seem cool enough in order to deserve to be Halara Nightmare.

Desuhiko Thunderbolt -> Graystripe

I think I'm taking a break and coming back to this tomorrow actually after all. Hello this is tomorrow Jasper. In canon, Graystripe is Fire's silly goofy boybestie when they're young, then he starts secretly dating Silverstream - hold on i can't fuvking take tjis im making myself hot cocoa again bye. Ok it's done let's see if that makes me feel something. As I was saying he's dating this cat and she's from a rival Clan so that's illegal forbidden love and then she dies during childbirth and he leaves his own Clan for a while to raise their babies there but then he gets exiled and goes back to his own and then his kids almost get publically executed for being half-clan so he and his buddies rescue them. And then he gets abducted by humans and meets this new gal called Millie and they start dating and then she gives birth to his new babies and then a tree falls on one of them. I'm pretty sure Fire was also pretty gay for that guy. Uh, anyway. I think he fits the bill because of his goofy charm but also it's pretty disturbing to imagine any iteration of Desuhiko actually getting bitches

Fubuki Clockford -> um. uh. Silverstream?

Silverstream, in canon, is the only daughter of Crookedstar, the leader of RiverClan, and is (implied to not having a problem with) getting various privileges because of this. Fits with Fubuki's rich timelord parents, plus light blue aesthetic, and a few other things which are hard to articulate. Only thing is that she's generally way more headstrong and impulsive than Fubuki showed to be, could "bend her father to her will with little effort", and disrespects the law if it's stupid to her which, queen shit. I think she'll play a lot of little pranks with her time powers, and devote her free time/time with YumaRusty when he's accused of terrorism crimes (but that's just unrestrained summer fun anyway) to absolutely decimate any peacekeepers they come across with some looney tunes shit

Vivia Twilight -> I'll be honest I have no fucking idea

Zero fucking idea. Literally NOBODY in this arc fits for the 5D chess of a character Vivia is. I'm not even sure if in any of the books. Help me. But also I don't really care because I don't even like Vivia at all anyway he freaks me out get him away from me.

Yakou Furio -> Bluestar?

Protag mentor figure except Bluestar is actually doing a good job at that until she loses her marbles after her mid-arc torment gauntlet and has a corruption arc until she drowns and gets healed of all her issues momentarily before fucking dying. She has a dead husband, dead mom, dead sister, dead baby, dead deputy, dead deputy #2, dead bestie, holy shit that's a lot of motives for suicidemurdering Huesgoose. Btw Goose was her weird voice of god hearing uncle in canon (and he was also dead) but I'm probably taking it out unless. Anyway she's kinda too good for Yakou but. They're also both blue like that is a blue cat

And for some side characters, keyword some:

Aiko -> Littlepaw/cloud

Aetheria's now not an all girls school anymore sorry I cannot do this guys. Littlecloud was Cinder's/Kurumi's good buddy and I like their friendship. Unfortunately, you know what that means.

Karen -> Swiftpaw

Originally was supposed to have Aiko's place before I remembered Little exists. In canon his most notable moment was dying brutally, which I mean also fits the Karen quota. Plus, while not an asshole per se he does have a more fiery/overall angry personality and he did try to impulsively take on a pack of dogs to prove himself and fucking died, if under enough pressure I'm pretty sure he could smash Aiko's/Littlepaw's head in with a brick too��👍

Yoshiko, Waruna, Kurane -> Brackenpaw/fur, Thornpaw/claw, Brightpaw/heart?

Siblings in canon and two of them are guys so no murderous yuri I guess :(( But I mean I don't have to follow canon to a T anyway lmao so we'll see. In canon, basically the other three remaining apprentices along with Swiftpaw and the ashfern siblings, plus they do function as a trio via just being sibs. Plus some notes from the books: Cinder is the fourth sibling. Brightpaw follows Swiftpaw in his quest to slay the doggy and while he dies she survives but gets her eyeball and half of her entire face's fur torn off.

Real Zilch -> Redtail

He's very dead. Very, very dead. His most iconic moment was dying abruptly and tragically via murder rip in rest

Kei Colan -> Snowkit

He is a child. That's a little boy

Snowkit, signing furiously: MY MAMA GOT FRAMED AND IS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY EXECUTED BY THE PEACEKEEPERS IF NOTHING IS DONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yellowfang, signing back in swagful motions: and how much cash does your mama have on her currently

Jiei Colan -> Speckletail

Snowkit's very old mama. Looks like she could kill you but genuinely does not have a body count. Yet.

Ramen Stand Owner -> Ravenpaw

Ravenpaw in canon hit the bricks and ran away from the Clans due to being in danger there, and lived out the rest of his days on a farm with his cowboy boyfriend Barley mostly free of drama. I'd say that fits lmao. We can make his old name Rusty, not a problem.

Margulaw -> Pinestar

90 year old voice "yeah so uhh my fucking son grew up to be a dictator now. When he was a newborn ghosts were yelling at me to kill him because he'll grow up to be a bad man otherwise and of course like any sane kanaiwardian father I said "fuck that" and had to leave ma' family behind run away from the company so the demons would shut up. And y'know little buddy... Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I just can't help but. Y'know. Anyway. Sigh."

Do you get my vision did that sound comprehensible

[enmuswife3]

Tangled AU with Kaeya!

Ok so I decided to skip the stranger things AU bc I haven’t thought of anything for them so let’s get into this one then I’ll get back to it. This one’s gonna be a little short

4/3/23 Edit: it took me this long to realize I didn’t put any warnings on here

Warnings: cervix fucking dumbification breeding cockwarming breaking and entering? Shii idk lowkey wanted to make diluc the mom but forgot

“Now remember y/n don’t leave the towers under any circumstances and I’ll be back in a few days now come and let me down with your hair and remember mother knows best!” Your mother yelled as she descended from the tower using your long hair you gave her a half smile and pulled your hair back up and laid down. Little did you know that you had a secret admirer who was itching to have a taste of your virgin cunt. The blue-haired man walked up to your tower and with a wave of his hand he summoned steps of ice so he could walk up to you and catch you off guard little did he know that you were undressing to get ready and take a bath. Once he finally reached your window he climbed in “why hello there pretty thing” Kayea said while walking up to you frozen in shock you murmured “who are you” “why dear the name is Kaeya and you are beautiful” he said as he put his arms around your bare waist and pulled you in for a kiss you’ve never felt this way before so you let it happen and leaned into his touch. You’ve never felt so good when Kaeya started kissing you down your neck and onto your nipple “hah~” you moaned “more, more please?” You begged “yea sweet girl I can give you so much more come lay down and spread your legs,” he said as he kissed your temple and let go of you. Now you were on the bed with your legs spread and Kaeya could drool at the sight you looked so submissive and breedable but he knew he had to prep you before he could fuck you senseless. He knelt and pulled you close to his mouth and licked a long stripe up to your clit and sucked on it causing you to squeal and shudder and oh fuck you tasted so sweet like similar to a peach and it made him go crazy “fuck your so sweet I could eat you out for days on end” he moaned “well my mom won’t be back home for a few days” you whimpered “when then I might just do that but first let me fuck you senseless okay?” He said as he went back down on you slowly entering his finger into your hole and curling them “a-aah! Right there please!” You screamed “aww is that if that’s the spot isn’t it sweetheart” he cooed coming up to kiss your cheek. You wrapped your hands around him and so did your legs and begged him to keep going because you were so close you saw stars. “Kaeya~ I feel weird-!” And just like that, you came trembling around his fingers “fuck yes want me to fuck you senseless now?” He said kissing your tears away “please do”.

“A-ah! Please you're too big gonna make a mess!” You moaned “shit your so tight” Kayea stuttered while plowing into you at an inhumane speed “I can feel you in my stomach” you cried but then Kaeya pushed in all the way entering your cervix which made you scream “wait I can’t t-take it slow down uhh~” you screamed but he kept going faster and faster going in and out of your cervix making you squirt and wail but then it happens your eyes got heavier and heavier making them close “ did I fuck my pretty girl senseless?” Kaeya laughed while still thrusting. “Mhm” you mumbled and by now your cunt was full of his and your cum making you feel dizzy for the nth time Kaeya came once and for all “haah~” he moaned and laid down beside you and turned so that you were on top of him with his cock nesting inside of you” I’m so full” you moaned slowly rocking back and forth on his cock “shh I know I know close your eyes and get some rest” “okay”. And like he promised he ate you out for days on end slurping up your juices and making you cry. Then the 3rd day came and he had to leave you let him down with your hair and waved goodbye, of course, he came back many times whether it was to just eat you out or fuck you until you can’t walk or maybe to watch a nice movie but he would always come back and you may be wondering how to you guys keep in contact he bought you a phone with his and only his number in it so you would text him telling him your mother left and to come over.

“Y/n! Let down your hair!” Your lover yelled smiling as you tossed your beautiful hair down for him to grab on and he used it to climb up your tower “I missed you” you sighed as you hugged him “yeah I too come let’s watch a movie”.

Nvm this ain’t rlly short🧍‍♀️

Event link

[someonechaotic]

Ze conner chaos onc agin its aa uhh part 3?????? whyayayayytryeysyayyeeee

Okay, what happened last blog? Well.....

I raised both Zaidan's and Julien's child except I found out that Julien is a very shit father, Haylee grows up happy and Jase grows up unhappy. Sky fishes for some Angelfish whilst Zaidan reaches Level 10 in Gourmet Cooking and whilst Sky gets a new job as an Astronaut and goes into the Interstellar Smuggler branch, we get some Ambrosia, revive Lucas who was previously fucking died. Julien keeps pissing on my fucking living room floor, Haylee got aged up into a teen, Jase is now a child (I aged him up after last chaos blog). Haylee almost died, Lucas almost died again.

Okay, caught up? Good. Now, in this blog is going to be TWICE the chaos, because the previous chaos blog I couldn't post for a week, but I had already done it and couldn't be bothered to update it, so instead, all of its gonna go here!!!!!!

Now be prepared, because I don't know if next week's chaos blog will top this one off....

First week...

After one too many times of Vito possessing Dumbass's gay hearts, I move him back into the household and whip him up a plate of Ambrosia, half as punishment, half because it felt a bit lonely.

Vito lasted.... Surprisingly well, but, well. this sentence is in past tence for a reason....

I also now age up Jase unto a teenager somewhere in this time, I think? i uh idontreemmber

Sky gets to the top of his career and is now constantly on the run from the Space Police

And, on the Saturday after I posted last blog, I had acquired MC Command Center, meaning LARGER HOUSEHOLD WOOOOOOO!!!!-

Well, I had made it larger as a joke, but someone saw it as a grand opportunity to... well.....

:Anne Maria starts playing:

So zaidan, in record time. Gets abducted, impregnated and gives birth. All in the matter of one real-life hour after raising the household cap.

(Also, the way I found out zaidan ws pregnant was so fucking hilarious, I was recording him and possessed Sky having the most fucking terrifying dinner date(?) I've never seen a possessed sim eating a bowl of chili whilst looking totally in love with someone, meanwhile the other sim is so completely fucking confused. And then he did the pregnant animation and i freaked the fuck out)

Possesssed sky says hi ✨️

Meanwhile Sky had his own child, well, Creation. Sky finally build a motherfucking servoooooo woooooo- whom upon entering my household, was assigned traits that practically made Sky the creator of a sociopathic robot I am not joking its the traits I have in my mods pls do-

but don't get too attached because,

One quick change later and Zaidan giving birth, I found out the hard way that I cannot edit my sims normally in a 9 sim household and have to go into the MC Menu and go into CAS from there, because Sky's servo swiftly evaporates from the gace of the earth, never to be seen again.

Zaidan's 5th chikd, Kurtz, grows up to be happy a conspiracy theorist and a pain in the fucking ass, just like his step-father, Dumbass

(Furute me here realising I forgot to mention the 4th, Luz, she's got a mohawk, she's an overachiver, she's a badass lesbian, okay moving on)

Speaking of pain in the asses, Vito gets stuck in a wall, in which case I use this comment to capture some of the most unflattering picture of a sim out there

And speaking of pain in the asses aga- yeah zaidan got pregnant again.... This is his 6th..... This one I named Rez, now this time Dumbass and Zaidan was raising Rez (Which Luz was not happy about as a child)

Thats all of week 1.... Now its on to the real chaos.... the we

Week 2

Week 2, I panic, realising I can't age up my werewolves, Haylee and Lucas up. Why? Because some stupid fucking idiot made them both immortal (me)

So after swiftly resetting and redoing all my werewolves perks (Thank MCCC that MC Command Center has that otherwise I'd of been fucked), I finally age up Haylee and Lucas, who both do not have a job still as I'm writing this.

Meanwhile, Sky has finally finished the Nerd Brain aspiration, meaning he can now Insta-Repair which honestly does fuck all AND INSTA-UPGRADE WOOOOO!!!!- So Sky's been upgrading everything, the stove, the fridge that keeps breaking, the toilets...

And that's when it all went wrong.

As per usual, Zaidan getting abducted, dumbass getting abducted,

Lucas are you sat in your sister's bedroom naked..?

Julien stop pissing on my living room flo-

Al the sudden, one of the toilets in the basement set fire to one of Zaidan's daughters, Luz. I'm panicking, thinking it was that bastard ghost who, idfk fucking planted a grenade in the fucking toilet bowl. I quickly get that sorted out, but I didn't know the true reason.

By now I've finally aged Kurtz into a child, yes it took this long....

But then, Zaidan bursts into flames, where? In the bathroom, it's now the first floor toilet, I'm panicking again, dumbass is there fucking celebrating meanwhile I'm screaming watching the firefighters tumble down through

Meanwhile, Zaidan:

A, Dosnt give 2 flying fucks.

B, stands there and does absolutely nothing

And C, Goes so feral that his eyes go red because he's tense and makes me giggle tf out.

oh and also D, grants me one of the best pictures I've had in ages

I also now have a video of dumbass casually wafting the air like it smells like shit as Lucas is screaming bloody murder beside him pointing at the fire right in front of them.

Ten seconds after that

NOW the UPSTAIRS toilet is on fire, and then another... and then another... and anothe- and zaidans getting fucking abducted again... and another

And then, the first death in a long while. Jase Conner, whom died not only by the toilet's murderous flames, but also by Lucas, who proceeded to only extinguish the fire after he had collapsed on the floor and died.

Considering Jase and Lucas were enemies before, I think Lucas had some intentions...

After which Dumbass and DEATH HIMSELF become BEST FRIENDS FOREVER????

anyway, these pictures later

Possessed sky looking at a burnt toilet

And... this...

Cough

And then, we have our second death, which came a little while after Jase's. Rez, who was still only a child, also died to toilet fire, because when I got him to extinguish himself in the shower, he glitched and stayed on fire, yet everyone else couldn't extinguish him because the game registered him as not on fire. And so, Rez dies to a glitch in the system....

AND THEN, FUCKING JULIEN AND LUCAS GET FUCKING ABDUCTED?

can you, can you guess what happened? I bet you can't, you will never guess, literally never guess, it is impossible to guess, can you guess it? Can you? Can you? Can you guess?

They both come back Fucking PRENGANT

I got some silly pictures of them, this one's just like: - "Julien, I don't fuckin' understand what's going on"

and he's just like - "I've seen this shit before"

I decided to keep only Lucas', who's named Kamila, because I don't trust julien anymore and I do not have the strength to take care of 2 toddlers.

I also, most recently, moved Rez's ghost back into the household.

And I leave off here. The household being Sky, Zaidan, Julien, Haylee, Lucas, Luz, Jurtz, Jase, Rez's Ghost and Kamila, a 10 sim household on it really ever dying, unless there's a really bad toilet fire that happens

Or Jase sets my Fucking STOVE ON FIRE

Some final images that didn't make the cut yk how it be

These two deserve their own segment

– " Zaidan how the fuq you end up like this!?"

– " Maybe the fact you made all the toilets... Flammable..??"

– " ...That was me??"

ok sorry sorry bye bye

Future Future me realising I didn't mention the fact that Vito evaporated mid-way through week 1 (he died from laughter)

[quit-lol]

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Theres More but half of them left :[

[the-official-account]

Episode 20 let's go babeyyy

Oh kits on the recap hello!!!! I spent thirty seconds like "did essay go on T?" HFKDGSKDGKSGZZ

And oh yeah it is worrying about Jack right now...I hope he's alright. I hadn't really thought about it that hard...

Hearing Jordan and ila go "mhm, mhm" in unison is so funny because as soon as I realized Jordan's (usually three times) "mhm"s are like, a thing, I was like yeah. There's no way that's not gonna become a vocal habit for me now. It's infectious!

Talking about the schematics are making me think of the "👀 I also don't know how you party agent vellum" scene and it's sending me all over again. And I will NEVER get over the third T taekwondo.

JDVLSGDKD IM THINKING OF THE TRIPLE THREAT IN A COWBOY AU WHERE THEY'RE COWBOY BOOTS—this is not an advanced thought, but vellum in cowboy boot would be SUCH a look.

OOOOOOF vellum is shattering my heart into a billion pieces right now I just...he deserves to have a family that makes him feel....familial!!!!!

Couples dance happening on the same day as grey's arrival is .......hmmmm the pieces are piecing together! They're piecing!

The harvest and feast for singles and couples is pretty cool. OF COURSE DIAMOND IS IN THE COUPLES SHOW LMAO

Crystallis being a name for morpholomew sympathizers

I AM THE RAINBOW THAT LURKS IN THE SHADOWS WHEEEEEZE

Ohhh so stone skin is in Crystallis

GOD these facts are so good today

FIRST MENTION OF THE NAME IOSWITCH CROWSWADDLE he doesn't.....he doesn't know cars exist 😂😂😂

Louie zong never fucking misses

THE FUCKING DNDADS HOLD MUSIC. something about that tune is like a cat making biscuits with my brain

If Tatiana...okay not Tatiana

"for bad reasons to do crimes probably" 10/10 investigator shit

THE RADIO CUTS OFF?

Spar just became a customer service agent.

WAIT HOLY SHIT.

WAIT HOLY SHIT

Ooooooooooooof. Oof. Fuck.

JUST HAD TO TAKE A QUICK BOMB THREAT

Vellum hyperfocusing just like me fr <3

T....T Felspar...........

THE WAY I GASPED!!!!! JAKUB IS BACK!!!! I LOVE HIM! AND HE'S A REPORTER!!!!!! GAHHHH special place in my heart!

Ohhhh my god this comic book ass situation is gonna have my whoooole heart, isn't it? Fuck.

The three genders. Man, person, other.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING ON A DATE. Ipswitch completely forgot why he was here fjsjdvsodgsodg

SPAR AND VELLUM ARE HERE TOO IS THIS THE BIG MEET UP? WITH JAKUB HERE TOO?

Jakub! You're so forward! But oooh the obvious next step to the mysterious in-costume encounter.

AN EXPLOSION IN BEE BY THE SEA?

WHERE'S XBALA???

*Half of a building goes up in flames*

IC: Hmm...well there cutie pie! I've uhh. Gotta go shuffle some papers. Let's talk later, huh?

Jakub: 👁️👁️

Yeah the hotel is definitely a distraction, huh?

I love that ipswitch is gonna walk away from jakub, change behind a bush, and return to helping where Jakub is in a thin-ass disguise and I am SO pleased with this.

KNIGHTS ARMOR?

Oh my godddd these shenanigans are so good. The clovenheart vibes were also wonderful and the sense of the creeping past is a part of the slow I adore, but the urban comedy these episodes are becoming is SOOOO good also. This show is giving me everything. I am FEASTING. I am also nearing the lastest episodes, which does make me feel a little bit sad! But the anticipation of serial media is just as good as the binge, if to the left. Oh I'm so hyped.

@threeheartscast

[dotdaw-some]

A CONFESSION. [I'm back with a remake my brothas!!!!11!1]

OG post from November lal:

https://www.tumblr.com/lantrikit/701028157319446528/a-confession-mental-illness-be-damned-i-just

Some info/notes under the cut!!! :3

I had to remake the entirety of this post during drafting because I accidentally added a fucking poll and didn't know how to remove it isn't that great!!!! 😸 (I gotta watch ii if I'm gonna actually use the characters and not just ignore them until I watch the series ugggh)(I mean I'm already mostly ignoring them until I watch the series anyway sooo I guess I'm doing my best idfk)

Anyways here's some story/lore lololllllol

Sooo uhh idk if anyone remembers the original version of this comic BUTT I'll explain what this is :grin:

So basically there's this AU I have called "Poisonous larkspur epidemic: All daunt" which TL;DR is basically 3-5 object shows battling against the EVILL TWISTY MARSHMELOWWE!!!11!1! OoooOooO!!!1!1?1@!@ She turns peopele infected and evil and stuff!!!

And at this half of the story there's like. a group consisting of Leafy,Test tube,Suitcase, and later Liam:grin:

But later down the line Liam goes fucking insane and suitcase is like "Shit I'm getting influenced by unhinged backpack and also getting urges to kill people awww" (this fucking sucks grr) and basically this happens lolololol...,., (Also forgot to mention that suitcase got robotic arms to fight against larkspurians n' stuff,z,,,,,,a,,lso yeah that's the name of the infected people larkspurians n stuff lol)