#I find them funny

[28ms28]

The allure of text posts × f1 drivers has caught my eye and now I have 17 pages worth of shitposts

[eepy-bells]

Guys pls have my old hannibal shitposts

[simple-persica]

Sometimes you need to draw yourself as Link Totk

[pseudomicrothoraxdubius]

So to do my name justice here is the list of the best names in Biology I encountered in my studies.

I will try to extend this list as I progress with my studies.

So behold the ✨list✨

Pseudomicrothoraxdubius ( it's mostly the dubious part not gonna lie)

Blatta germanis ( the cockroach that was named by a french guy)

Weinhänchen witch translates to wine chicken ( it's the name of a snail)

This is all for now I will see you next time

[sadlynotthevoid]

Do you know those characters who always know things and talk in riddles and metaphors or telling everything in the most vague or ambiguous way?

Well, have you ever considered how funny it would be if the second was because of the first?

I mean, the all knowing master who knows so much is easier letting people find their own answers than remember until which point this knowledge is "basic answer needed" and from which point it is "horrid cosmic knowledge that would break mortal minds".

Mystery person who shows up randomly and seems to have something about everyone actually only gives vague hints and makes references to things only them knows because they don't remember what curious fact was of public knowledge and what was a forbidden secret they weren't supposed to know. The references are slip ups. It doubles down if the character uses excesive suspensive points.

Ancient being who only gives prophecies in riddles because mortal civilizations keeps changing words and meanings, and they have trouble keeping up with the terms in current use. They can't even take a little nap without having to speedrun through a dictionary when they wake up.

This means that if they are tired enough, they lost filter and start saying the most cursed shit.

"My head is killing me. Pass me the fae bone powder for the potion" *points at the salt*

This also means that their PoV is full of:

"what was the word for 'X' again?"

"How do I say this without explaining all that?"

"Oh. I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? Ups. Think fast, how do I pass this up as a cultural reference?".

Constantly trying and failing to traduce themselves to normal people speak.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[katsinspats]

I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes

Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:

[catmask]

the 'all marriage is gay as far as im concerned' except its me watching a man and woman character in a show i like and accidentally saying 'theyre so gay' because i literally forget thats not the word for romance because to me all romance is gay

[poorlydrawnmcyt]

fuck this. parkour yaoi pins

[vinestaff]

sighs. another guy in my brain i guess

[ganondoodle]

then perish.

[itisiives]

[gingerswagfreckles]

I hope they find the idiot rich ppl I hope a teenager doesn't have to die a horrible nightmare death and then I also hope they immediately get slapped with a $500,000 bill to repay the taxpayer cost of rescuing them from their idiocracy and then also another $1billion dollars inconvenience fee of making us all hear about this for 3 days straight.

[chloesimaginationthings]

The real reason Michael has a British accent in FNAF…

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him

Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.

It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.

So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.

Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.

Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).

Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?

All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.

Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.

One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.

They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.

Memes For The Vibes:

[sysiheart]

Odysseus playing a guitar ANGRILY at his wife

Penelope playing a violin EVEN MORE ANGRILY at her husband