#I find that I run into less ppl I know that way

[mookybear12404]

Mooky, I saw your tags on the exercise post; do you have any tips for starting out weightlifting? Including tips for getting over nerves about going to one's college's gym?

YES VERY MUCH I DO

(I'm not sure what level of beginner you are so if any of this advice is too basic or you are left with questions just hmu I'm always down to help! Lifting has really helped my confidence a lot and has been like a miracle for my adhd/mental health/chronic pain so I'm super happy to share!)

Going to the gym at first can be TERRIFYING but I promise that once you get used to it, you'll find it really isn't so bad When you're in that initial phase, my #1 recommendation is to have a plan of action prepared for your first visit. That way you don't feel flustered when you get there and ruin the workout experience for yourself. Deciding before you go what you want to do, (what muscles you wanna work out, if you wanna do free weights or machines, if you're planning to do cardio (running) there, etc) can help lessen anxiety. It's also good to have a bag that is your designated "gym bag" where you can have everything you could possibly need during workout ready at a moment's notice (Like a backup hairtie, waterbottle, spare headphones, deodorant, etc)

Naomi King is a youtuber who helped me a lot when I first started out! She has several videos where she explains how to use specific machines step by step, including all of the details that regular gym goers might not realize aren't intuitive (like how to adjust machines for super short ppl ;_;) If you don't know what kind of exercises target which muscles, she (and other youtubers) have plenty of videos that could help!

You can certainly do a fullbody routine if you'd like, but I find personally that it's a difficult workout to maintain. If you are limited to going once a week then it makes more sense, but otherwise it can take a good hour or more, to do a full body workout. I personally really enjoy being able to pop in and out of the gym in 20min every other day and feel the "gym high" gradually throughout the week Personally, my gym workout routine looks like this:

Day 1: Biceps, (muscle on top of your upper arm, used when lifting a weight up), and back muscles. Day 2: Triceps (muscles on the bottom of your upper arm, used when pulling a weight down), and chest muscles.

Day 3: My favorite! Legs and shoulders. Between each day is a day of rest where your muscles can recover.

Each day should also include some sort of core workout. Core workouts can include crunches, planks, sit-ups, and ab machines. My cardio schedule is honestly just. Whatever days line up with my hair washing schedule. (I refuse to run and then show up to work sweaty LOL). Bikes and treadmills are my favorite, but you should also try stairs and rowing if those are available!

Besides just having a plan, here are a few other tips that could help!

Have a buddy. If you have a friend that is non-judgmental and safe, I highly recommend going together. It helps to keep your focus off everyone else and also keeps you accountable for showing up!

Have a treat waiting for you. I REALLY love Gatorade, and even though its not really a necessity for hydration, I keep a stock of them that I'm not allowed to drink unless i'm working out, so now my brain associates yummy drink with exercise! When I'm with friends, I like to go out for bagels or smoothies afterwards. On weekends when I have more time, I'll make my favorite coffee protein shake as a treat :D

If you're working out alone MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC. Have a playlist made ahead of time or else you'll spend forever picking songs between machines. It helps keep you motivated and focused on yourself. For longer cardio workouts, I like to have a podcast ready

Perspective is an important part of going to a gym. PLEASE know that nobody there is judging you or thinking about how you look/are performing. From my experience, they're too busy absorbed in their own thoughts to care about you. Seriously.

This sounds stupid but If you have glasses? Take them off. I sometimes don't wear glasses or contacts in the gym even though I have pretty bad eyesight because that way I can't see other people. Out of sight out of mind I guess?

Some other tips include:

Be careful what your reasoning is for going to the gym. Are you going for health? Confidence? A hobby? Exercise is an excellent way for me to improve my chronic pain and mental health, but if you're going just to change your body you're probably gonna hate it and spend the whole time hyper focused on how your body looks. Learn to pride yourself in your improvement and your commitment to caring for yourself.

DON'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD PLEASE I hate those internet memes that are like "If you don't feel pain the next day you weren't working out hard enough!" ACTUALLY NO THAT MINDSET CREATES INJURIES WE DON'T WANT THAT

I know this sounds dumb but like. What you do outside the gym matters JUST as much if not more than what you're doing in the gym. When you're lifting, your tearing apart your muscle fibers, and if you aren't providing your body with the proper hydration, protein, and sleep it won't be able to repair those muscle fibers with newer and stronger ones, and you will be left instead with several days of muscle soreness and no progress to show for it.

Hopefully this helps!!

[reinemichele]

My mom got home and immediately handed me an ipod classic and said "[Patient] told me her ipod won't hold a charge anymore, so I told her you might be able to fix it, or at least show her how to rip the music library onto her computer"

and I said . "I've told you to stop telling people I can help them with technology ."

And then I noticed the ipod actually still had a full battery (but I'm sure, like my barely functioning ipod classic, within a few seconds-minutes the battery would die), so I glanced through the menus, mostly because I still feel very nostalgic for using ipods & find the tactile buttons/audible clicking/whirring to be a lot more appealing than keeping music on a purely touchscreen torture nexus, but I was also curious about how recent the music this patient listens to is

So I said . "Oh hey, she has Rick Astley on here!"

And after a few minutes she goes . "I have that fucking Rick Astley song stuck in my fucking head." and I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed

[scarletanpan]

Going to online school at a tech college is so fun and accessible, I love how they update the ui every couple of months to make it even harder to understand wtf is going on, in love with how you have to click around at least ten times to find any basic feature. Incredible how there are five different ways to get to any place at any time but half of them don't work, send you to the wrong page, or just act as a fun refresh button. Like was this constructed by IT daedalus

[noxtivagus]

hdalkfjsldf i miss my friends :c

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[pepperf]

Genuinely can't decide if the writers intended the Five and Lila relationship to be toxic, or if that's just their idea of romance - just like Rochester, Heathcliff, Darcy, and that dude from Twilight, right???

Okay, let's have a readmore. Note tags, ppl, and curate your experience.

Lila has a relatively sensible approach to relationships, which is consistent, despite her somewhat Machiavellian approach to getting what she wants out of them - she put Diego in his place about having realistic expectations back in s3. She's pretty clear about who she is and where her lines are drawn, and is "weirdly self-actualised", according to Klaus. And Five - romantically inexperienced, thinks everyone should do what he says at all times - tries to impose his notion of How This Should Go onto her, from nearly the start of their brief romance, but leaning hard into it once it starts going sour - which also checks out: he was alone for 45 years and his previous relationship was all in his head, giving him full control, so that's what he's used to. But I couldn't tell if they genuinely intended to show it as him being incredibly selfish in prioritising his feelings over her wishes, or if they honestly thought it was romantic. I mean, the barbed wire-style bracelet is a little on the nose, and there's some symbolism that I'll get into in a sec. Truthfully, I'm not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - I think SB at least thought it was hot, judging by what he's said about identifying with Five, and about how he finally gets to have a romance. This seems to have been his pet project for the season, blergh.

It's that tedious old misogynist chestnut, that all women secretly want A Man to take control. It's frustrating, because they already established that Lila likes to be in charge, she wants to be free to make her own choices, she'd already had twenty-plus years of being told what to think and do. And yet she has to remind Five, who really ought to know her better by now, "You do not get to decide what I do with my life!" It's also very disconnected from reality. It's not actually fun or sexy to be gaslighted, to be lied to by some insecure asshole who thinks they know better about what's good for you, that they have a right to stick their nose into your personal relationships or keep you away from your kids. Not cool, Five, not cool. He's lucky she didn't kick him in the nuts on the way out. But another reason I think they didn't do this consciously is that Five doesn't seem to realise his assholery - there's no hint that he's regretting anything other than being dumped.

Lila was trapped for seven years in an intense, claustrophobic situation with Five - and if they'd continued to exist, she could have worked through the feelings that come out of that. Like Ritu said, of course there's going to be love there: they've spent seven years together, on the run. If nothing else, it would be a matter of survival - either you find a way to get along, or you kill each other. And they went in with a fair amount in common already (although being adopted by the Handler at age four is not at all the same as being recruited by her at age fifty-something). So I'm annoyed that Lila's whole arc this season is one of frustration about having to be the grown up in her relationship, taking a break to reassess, going off to do something a bit crazy and fun - and promptly getting stranded with someone considerably less emotionally competent.

Okay, I'm being somewhat harsh - Lila unexpectedly getting the timeout she wanted could've been a decent storyline, she could have some time to reflect, live the child-free life without consequences, and have some adventures (she actively enjoys danger!). And she and Five got to bond, that had lots of interesting potential, especially with their complicated history. But it tipped over from being a potential opportunity into an immensely over the top punishment for her impulsivity, and took them so far from where they'd started that there's a total emotional disconnect with the main story. Which is a fucking weird choice for one episode in such a short season, ngl.

And then, ugh, she's right back to dealing with the apocalypse, visibly thrown by a Diego who has unexpectedly thought about what she said and is trying to be a better husband, and dealing with a Five who has decided to get territorial. It's deeply uncomfortable, Five is gearing up to start trouble, so wrapped up in his own hurt feelings that he's functionally useless for the actual problem in front of them - leaving Lila to deal with the mess he creates, and then leverage said feelings to get him to put on his big boy pants and help. She still reaches out to him in the end, I think she knows him well enough by this point to understand what makes him tick...and she's having to be the sensible one up to the end of her existence. Can't she have someone who's willing to meet her halfway? The reflecting that Diego did, him making a start on making amends (given that it was only a few hours for him, that's about as much as they could squeeze in) was basically just wasted. They start to reconnect at the end, and mutually apologise for the damage they've done - but that's all they get, and it's a travesty.

Personally I think the whole storyline should have been cut, but if - if - they really felt it added something, they could have given it some time in the real world, see how this shaky new romance holds up against a serious relationship that's been massively fractured. In a different show, that might have been a fine story. But they don't do that. Whatever she might have wanted, Lila doesn't get time to even think about her choices. She gets to stop existing. (Or they could just have not gone there in the first place, god I hate love triangle plotlines, they do no favours for anyone involved!)

Given a continued existence in which to do so, I'm sure Five would have moved on pretty quickly. It's his first romance with a real person, he feels it intensely - but once the dust settled, he'd see that they were in very different emotional places (she wanted to get back to her family, the break from reality is way overdue to end - and he wanted to stay in their little bubble and leave all that behind). The actual romance part was actually pretty brief, and lacking in any deep communication - as Lila says, it wasn't real. They're playing house in an attempt to feel normal - in a greenhouse (a fragile structure, not a real home), eating strawberries (a treat more than real sustenance), like children...hey, maybe I'm wrong and the writers DID intend to do that, bc that's some choice visual metaphors. And they're playing roles: all their normal antagonism - what made them so fun and sparky in previous seasons, and even during the earlier part of their adventure! - disappears. Lila is a chameleon, taking on a character is her happy place - and this was how Five kept himself going, last time he was in this situation, so he's slipping back into that method of survival (although he's not as good as she is at separating reality from fiction). So while all that is totally understandable, it's insubstantial. If Five had the space to do some self-reflection, or if one of his more rational siblings (Luther maybe, or...um...or a friend, if he can make one...or maybe that dude in the Losers Department at the CIA...) sat down with him and explained that you need to treat a partner as an equal, maybe he could do better next time - or double down and keep being an asshole, that's also a strong possibility.

idk - I still don't honestly think the show intended it that way, unfortunately. I think they shoehorned the characters into the scenes they wanted, regardless of sense or even plot requirement. There are a LOT of badly-explained or badly-thought out moments in this season, and this whole mess just adds to the incoherency. Or maybe it's just a consequence of TV - you get multiple creative people involved, and the reasoning gets muddied, especially over time. Maybe it was SB's intention from the start, but he didn't inform the actors until the final season, so they've been playing it straight.

This show has an...interesting tendency to do something that you think is totally unacceptable and just gloss over it at the time, and then address it next season (like Luther apologising to Viktor), as if the writers all brought it up in their respective therapy sessions during the break, and worked through the issues - so maybe if they'd had another season, they would have gone into all that. Maybe. But we're clearly not going to get that, and they're all gone from existence so I can't headcanon that in this universe, they eventually sort it out. So I'm putting it down to one thing:

Break out the dodgy facial hair (I see you're ahead of me, Five) and let's get kicking babies!

[yurislotusgarden]

Tying their hair up!

ʚїɞ Separately! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Platonic! Kyouka Izumi x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ I got this idea after seeing this post! It's not really related but I got the idea, so here it is. I will most likely make a part 2

ʚїɞ word count: 1206 (Dazai - 428, Chuuya - 446, Kyouka - 336)

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, pet names: 'bella, doll, reader's gender is not specified in any way (if it is please tell me so I can edit it)

ʚїɞ I WANNA THANK THE 22 PPL WHO FOLLOWED MY ACCOUNT <33 I did not expect ppl to like my works??? Like at all??? I actually posted my first works here thinking they're gonna end up with maybe 10-15 notes with luck, and there they are with much fucking more, so thank you if you interacted with any of my works<33

Dazai Osamu

If you entered the armed detective agency office at the moment, you would see people working, someone missing out on a job but the possibly first thing would be able to notice is that the workers are stealing confused glances at Dazai because… since when does he tie his hair up?

“Hey Dazai, what’s with your hair?” Kunikida asked, wanting to know why the oh so lazy bandage wasting machine changed his hair. In the 2 years he’s been working with him, he never saw the brunette tie his hair up.

“Oh? A fabulous question, Kunikida!” The grin on Dazai’s face could really compare to Kenji’s sun smile. 

“I feel like I’m about to regret this question” A mutter from where Kunikida is standing was heard, but the older detective ignored it.

“You see Kunikida, my beloved Belladonna has done it! And I couldn't bring myself to ruin said happiness they got from seeing me with my hair like this, so I just came in like this!” The bandaged man had stars in his eyes upon recollecting what happened before he came to work.

Dazai looked like he was about to talk more about what happened earlier this morning… Yea Kunikida is regretting his questions, why did he have to ask?

//////////////////

Dazai was sitting on the floor in front of the couch between your legs while you were sitting on the couch behind him, tying his hair up into a ponytail around the back of his head since you decided it would be better for him instead of a higher one. Surprisingly, when tied up, the ponytail was quite long - longer than you first thought it would be.

“You were meant to tie my hair up, not play with it ‘bella” A subtle comment, but enough to get you to stop just running your fingers through his hair, you would've been done by now if you didn’t do that, but hey, you're gonna take any chance to play with his fluffy hair.

“you can’t blame me, your hair is too soft to not play with it when I have a chance” You chuckled, finishing up the ponytail and tapping his shoulder to indicate that you're done and he can stand up or turn around, whichever he prefers.

And as it is with Dazai, he preferred to turn around and hug your waist, burying his face in your abdomen.

…Goddammit you want to play with his hair like you always do when he’s like this, but you can't or you will have to repair the ponytail. Sigh.

Nakahara Chuuya

“Chuuya-san?” The ginger turned towards the voice, who turned out to be a woman with red-ish hair colored hair, Kōyō Ozaki.

“Yes, Ane-san?” The shorter of the two turned fully towards the taller woman.

“...May I ask what happened to your hair?... And where did your hat go?”  Kōyō asked, actually confused. After all, it’s not every day that you see the hot-headed executive with his hair up, much less without his hat. She’s sure she barely ever saw him take it off besides when in closed private spaces, and his hair being tied up into a high ponytail? She never saw it, but even tho she doesn't voice it out, she thinks the look really does fits the man.

“Ah, I decided to leave the hat at home for once, it would destroy the hair.”

“Why do you not want the ponytail gone?” Kōyō understands that technically it’s easier to do things when your hair is tied up, but she knows that longer hair never caused any problems to the short mafioso.

“[Name] is the one who made it, and they seemed really happy to see it on me”

///////////////

“Please Chuu?” You asked for maybe the hundredth time today, -surprised your boyfriend still has patience for you- about to give up on asking your partner if he would let you tie his hair up. You just wanted to see what he would look like! You can bet your life he would look better than those guys on magazines many droll over. They could never compare to your boyfriend anyway.

A sigh could be heard in the room, a head full of orange hair moving to look at you. Chuuya was getting ready to go to the Port Mafia Headquarters and was about to say no, but when he looked over… yea it was over for him before it started.

“Just don’t rip my hair out, doll”

“Hey! You know I’m gonna be careful!”

Next thing you two knew, he was sitting in front of the mirror while you were standing behind him, making the ponytail high on the back of his. ‘Why is his hair so soft wtf’ had appeared in your head but didn't voice it out.

You hooked your arms around his shoulders and neck, putting your chin on his head. “You look so pretty like this” When Chuuya looked at you in the mirror -as if he wasn't the whole time- the soft smile you had on simply killed him. He couldn't bring himself to destroy the little thing that made you happy so he ended up shocking your ass later on by not bringing his hat to work for once.

Platonic! Izumi Kyouka

just to see how she looks

“You look so cute!”

“Really?” 

You and Kyouka were the only ones apart from the clerks and Yosano in the clinic doing who knows what in the agency building as the others had missions, so you decided to do random things as you have already ended all the paperwork assigned to you for the day.

“Your hair is perfect for any kind of hairstyle but I think you look adorable with a ponytail, it suits you” You smiled at her. It really did fit her the same as her usual hairstyle, you just wish you had some hair accessories at the moment. Her hair would look even better!

“I’m glad you think so [Name]” A soft voice came from the younger girl.

You two continued to make small talk while you fixed her hair, before turning towards the office door when it opened.

“What you two doing over here?” Yosano looked at the two of them with a small smile appearing when she noticed Kyouka’s hair change.

“Messing with Kyouka’s hair. There’s not much to do at the office at the moment but we shouldn't leave the office yet, it’s still quite early” You said quietly, starting to look through your desk to see if you have any accessories for hair. Colorful to be specific.

“Hmm, Can I add myself to the fun?”

“You want to do something with my hair?”

“I have hair clips and more in my infirmary desk”

You looked up at her with stars in yours with such speed that Yosano couldn't help but ask herself if your neck is okay.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go to your office, Kouka’s hair needs something more!”

The rest of the agency slowly started to come back one by one, to not only Kyouka’s hair being colorful from hairclips and more, but also to yours and Yosano’s hair being the same. There was some confusion about what they missed, Atsushi and Kenji just so happened to join in, to say the least.

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated <3

[envy-of-the-apple]

That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

[nightcolorz]

let your thoughts on the finale run WILD god knows i want to hear them 🙏🙏

OOOO YES OK!!! I’m going to start with my Armand twist thoughts bcus ik that is a point of contention among my fellow Armand apologists and ik y’all have been waiting to hear how I feel about it haha. Then I’m gonna yap about Daniels turning for similar reasons, and cuz I have theories!!!

I can’t say I’m surprised that Lestat saved Louis instead of Armand, I honestly thought when I was first watching ep7 that it was Lestat saving Louis until it cut to Armand doing the mass mind control and I was like oh ok, that makes sense ig. But I was very much willing to accept that Armand was planning to let Louis die, and so I’m def not having much trouble accepting it now lol.

I think amc made Armand just the right amount of devious when it comes to his involvement in the trial without bordering into out of character territory. I imagine directing the trial was elating for him after his panic about loosing his place in the coven. It makes perfect sense to me why he would want Louis dead 😭‼️. He basically explains it himself lol, when he says to Louis that his choice was between his coven of 200 years or his boyfriend who is actively putting him in danger and severing his sense of security. As Armand says lol, he couldn’t rely on Louis’s devotion to him to last as long as his coven has, and his priority is always going to be preserving that safety rather then being loyal to ppl he loves. Armand sees love as extremely transactional and entirely based in how secure he feels in it, how long it lasts, how much it does for him, etc (bcus hes Never been actually loved b4 oops). So once he realizes that Louis is doing nothing but putting him in jeopardy, and is actually pretty uncaring towards him, and he is given that choice, then of course he chooses the coven so thoroughly that he’s willing to let Louis die.He’s not wrong about Louis being an unreliable person to bet all his cards on💀 Louis only stayed with Armand for so long out of spite against Lestat, not out of any real love for him. And for Armand love is only worthwhile if it’s also protection and security, and Louis is not gonna give him that.

what I find interesting is how despite Armand’s plan being to kill Louis, he made the choice to stay with him even tho he wanted him dead. And I think Armand decided to stay with Louis purely because Louis burned down the theater, and without Louis Armand had nothing else. He always needs that security, that thing to devote himself to so he isn’t alone or aimless, bcus Armand doesn’t know how to live if he is not given a purpose. The learned helplessness was rlly getting me, the way he knows Louis is going to destroy the thing he just put sm effort into preserving and he doesn’t do anything to stop him. He doesn’t even act to try and preserve his relationship with Louis, he sits there limply with his head down and blankly admits that Louis will never forgive him and their relationship is ruined 💀. I think he only makes the choice to attach himself to Louis when Louis tells Lestat (and Armand) that he is going to stay with Armand. The way he’s staring at him like a wide eyed dog waiting for master to pull his leash during the scene in Magnus’s chambers, his needy little glances after he kisses him, he’s waiting for commands 😭😭 he’s waiting for Louis to give him a purpose after he destroyed the thing he was desperately clinging to

With all this being said tho, I don’t think that Armand doesn’t love Louis. As I said he has a very warped view of how love works, and even tho I’m sure it would hurt Armand to see Louis die, he both considers loosing Louis an inevitability that will be less painful if he has control of the circumstances, and he considers the loss of loved ones who are not safe/secure/useful a necessity. Armand is very used to loosing the ppl he loves in cold and painful ways 😭 for him this is the way life for a vampire is, and it doesn’t matter how he feels about it, it has to be done. When Armand says “i could not prevent it” it’s goofy asf cuz, um yes you could have sweetie ❤️🙏. But I think part of him means that, he rlly does feel like the cruelty he puts ppl through is all he can do, it’s not a choice it’s an inevitability, it’s just how he is.

i stand by with all my heart my analysis that Armand is not a manipulative or calculated person. He is clearly not so good at being manipulative lol, and his lies r only rlly affective bcus of Louis’s willingness to believe them. He lies out of fumbling desperation and fear, not out of any sort of deviousness or evil spite, lmao. He’s lived a life where he has to fight to survive, and he’s willing to do anything it takes to ensure his own safety. Armand is out for himself basically, lol. And if Louis has to die for Armand’s well-being, welp, sucks to suck 💀. If Armand has to lie to Louis so that Louis will stay with him, oop! Well he’s gonna try his best 🙏 lmaoo

When it comes to daniels turning, ahhhh!!! Omg ok, was very excited about this. My theory: cuz I’ve seen a lot of ppl upset about this and confused now that “devils minion can’t happen”. Babes I am so certain devils minion did happen ‼️ especially after this.

So after the reveal Armand is begging Louis to forgive him and trying to desperately convince him that they can still be together after this, the way he’s stuttering honestly broke my heart 😭 he may be a devious little bitch but he is my little princess and I love him. But anyways, Armand is coming to terms with (when he’s thrown out of the house, and then thrown into the wall) that the person he has been betting everything on for 77 yrs, the person he has been depending on for his purpose and his security, is gone and he has nothing else. “Without Louis I am nothing.” ‼️‼️ so as he’s lying in that rubble Armand’s thinking, I’m nothing. And knowing him, probably trying to desperately find smth else to fill the black hole.

and daniels there, and knowing Daniel, he’s not leaving. He’s getting sos messages from Raglan telling him to get the fuck out of there 😭 but raglan was the person who told Daniel that Louis is the dangerous one, not Armand, and well Louis’s left. And Daniel isn’t going to leave a fascinating story in the rubble just to go back to his shitty old man home, no sir.

So here we have it, Armand is more desperate and alone than he’s been in 77 years, and Daniel is staying with him. I imagine he helps him leave Louis’s house while he’s injured, probably drops him at a hotel or smth. And Armand has just lost his life line, and is looking for a new one, and here’s Daniel, helping him back on his feet, not leaving. I think that Daniel ends up fascinated by Armand and by some pull unable to leave him, and he stays with Armand for a while while he’s recovering from the divorce. And in my mind devils minion in the past still happened, and Armand knows this, maybe Daniel does, maybe not. Either way Daniel feels the connection. And through the power of desperation and nurse maid style rebounding, Armand turns Daniel bcus he can’t stand to be alone. And oh boy, the Armand apparently fucks all the way off right after, probably out of guilt for breaking his ultimate rule to not ever make another vampire, which aligns with book canon, where Armand and Daniel separate partly bcus of Armand’s guilt. And so here we r

I am completely certain that Louis’s claim that Armand turned Daniel out of spite is wrong, and based in Louis’s bitter post divorce bias. Especially considering how Daniel does nottt have the attitude of a man who was just turned into a vampire against his will out of anger 💀 that is youthful gay boy silly Billy lusting for life 70s Daniel in the flesh right there, that is the face of a man who’s minion has been deviled, yknow yknow. And Armand would never do that, turn someone (let alone Daniel), out of spite. If that was the case that would be an unforgivable character assassination, which I don’t think is likely to be true based on everything they get right about Armand. Armand turned Daniel out of desperation, bcus he needs Someone so that he won’t “be nothing”, not spite.

thank u sm for the ask beloved mutual ❤️❤️ I hope u enjoy this!!! I am going to be posting and answering a lot of asks today lol, and I have a lot more thoughts so stay tuned!!

[chaotic-iguana]

Refuge | chapter three. 

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter | general masterlist 

chapter three: damning rebirth

wordcount: 3.8k - my longest work yet lmao summary: what if reader and joel were married before the outbreak? warnings: angst, estrangement, anger, violence, sad, its like centered around finding yourself again, reader and joel are both quite complicated broken ppl im trying to do them justice, not much joel he’ll be in the next chapter i promise.

You didn’t speak to him for weeks after that first afternoon. You’d run out of words to say. You stopped speaking to his brother, too, for keeping you in the dark; ignoring Maria’s justifications, the constant droning of “…he did it to keep you safe, you know? So you wouldn’t leave Jackson’s safety and run after Joel. You could have died. Sarah’s death would have broken you, like it broke him, and you should be thankful that…” 

You tuned her out after a while. It was getting tiring coming up with rude adjectives to describe how wrong she was in your head. There was no fight left in you to even protest, so you just left the room while she was talking. You loved her, but there were days you thought she just enjoyed hearing herself talk. Which she was extremely welcome to do, but with the acknowledgement that you would rather walk into a bloaters' den unarmed than sit through it.

Tommy had lied to you, kept the truth about your family from you, and no matter how many ways he spun it, it wouldn’t change the fact that when your first fucking words to him were asking about Joel and Sarah, he had looked you in the eyes and lied through his goddamn teeth when he said he didn’t know. He could go crying to Maria all he liked. You’d need a while not to recoil with disgust every time you saw him no matter how many times you got told to stop acting like a child. When Tommy realised the extent of your anger, he attempted to remedy it by telling you everything. Sarah getting shot on outbreak day - you still winced when he said it- and Joel’s time in the QZ, with a woman called Tess. You didn’t even know what to make of that. You probably couldn’t unpack your feelings about it if you tried. How he found the girl you’d gotten alarmed by - the job he got, how he took her in, how he lied to her and why she won’t look at him now. 

You didn’t even bother forming opinions about any of it, let alone voice any. Thinking was futile; your thoughts or ideas or opinions or offense wouldn’t change anything, would they? You continued the same monotonous routine you had established for the past year or so since you arrived to Jackson, this time with even fewer occasions of leaving the house for a party or drink. 

The shop and your bedroom became your life, the only people you spoke to were those looking for books. You’d collected them for years in the hope that if the outbreak ever got under control, there would be literature somewhere for humanity to remember what it used to be. Or perhaps a relic, serving as a legacy for a species long gone. Something, just to yell at the world and all those to come after, that you were here, even when you weren’t really. You hadn’t quite been here since the day the world had ended. Since the day you had lost everything. And now, twelve years later, all of it just came crashing back. 

The pain was as if someone had crawled into your flesh, peeled your ribs back, and plucked your heart out.

Sarah had become less of a person and more of a concept to you over time. The intangibility that very literally gave you strength when you lay bruised and beaten, held down and overlooked by snarling strangers. She had been your salvation; your everything. Losing her wasn’t something you had truly came back from the first time around, suppressed guilt and fear and worry gnawing at the back of your mind. The reappearance of all of it, overshadowed this time by crippling guilt, was a cruel albeit welcome one. You wanted to feel bad - because much like Joel, it was what you deserved. You had failed - not only as a mother but as a wife, too. You should have just gone home on time that fucking night, but life got in the way as if often used to back then. All those little things that got blown out of proportion like work and deadlines and projects and careers didn’t even matter now. You should have come home. You should have been there.

You didn’t even want to imagine how Joel felt. To you, the ache was a phantom limb - trailing you wherever you went, interwoven with your shadow. To him, it was a stain on his hands that he never seemed to be able to rub out; he could always see a tinge of crimson coating his fingers, ever since that night.

Neither of you could look the other in the eye anymore. 

Yet, even after all of it life simply went on, stuttering but still relentless in its proceedings. Pink, jagged scars marred the flesh of time as it stretched around the metalwork of the lives you had fought to keep, yet lost the worth of anyways. Fate is seldom kind.

It wasn’t too peculiar, this distance. Ironically, even after all these years, you both understood the other perfectly - as if each thought either of you had, each feeling you felt, was respected and loved and relayed by the refuge of your marriage, still. You understood that he was too ashamed by his self-proclaimed failure to speak to you, and he understood that the loss had so wholly devoured you that you wouldn’t have the strength to look in his eyes and be reminded of hers for a while.

The song and dance continued, the delicate persuasion of ensuring not to jolt the fragile existences the other had created for themselves. Joel didn’t come near your bookshop, and you didn’t go near Tommy, lest the words ‘family dinner’ be spoken into existence. Truly, he was idiot enough to suggest it. As if all that your currently brilliant (more like fractured) relationship with your husband (was he still? what about tess?) needed was a dinner with his brother, his sister in law, and the kid he had apparently adopted, lied to, and was now in a rough spot with. Gotta love reunions, no?

In another life, you would have stepped in. You would have spoken to either of them - perhaps even made more of an effort to include Ellie in your own life to ensure that after all she had been through, she wouldn’t feel alone even when she wasn’t doing well with Joel. In this life, though, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Joel acted like a selfish, moronic liar, sure. But if this kid couldn’t see, that at his very core, he was just plain scared - that he practically shook in his (adorable) cowboy boots anytime someone mentioned what happened to Ellie - then, great, she deserved Joel not realising that it was her decision to save humanity; to pay the price, to do what it took; entirely independent of him, or anyone else. You tamped down on the cynical part of you sneering at the romantic heroism of it all. The world knew now, better than before, how selfish man was. How utterly human, for Joel to struggle to separate his feelings for his own daughter and the one he had taken in; for Ellie to be too caught up in her own view to even consider what Joel was going through. It was almost like one of those plays you used to enjoy reading - like a Greek tragedy. The hamartia of both heroes was humanity alone.

They’d come around, eventually. Joel and Sarah always did, too. 

The irony lay mostly in the fact that you had spent a decade craving him - his comfort and his warmth. The kneading of his large hands on your back after a long day; the scratch of his stubble when he nuzzled into your neck from behind. The years you didn’t have him were spent with only him in mind; a mindless worship of the love you had. Now that he was within reach; close enough to grasp and curl your fingers around, to sink an burrow into; you were… lost. The desperation; the wild frenzy with which you had remembered only them through the years - to have lost one now leaves you clueless about what to do with the other. The cracks that have made their way into your heart - the ones tainting your soul - you see them reflected in him, too. Your first look into his dark eyes told you that he, too, has done too much to be standing here today; that his first kill, too, had been the man he once was. No wonder you can’t bear to look at each other anymore. The grief - not only of what you have both lost, or what you once had, but the grief of who you both used to be - rears its ugly head in any room you find yourselves in together. Look at me, it screams. Look at what the years have done to me. I can’t recognise myself in mirrors anymore. I don’t see who I used to be. I was so beautiful. I was so good. Look at me. Look at me. Look-

Is this how the angels felt when they fell? You’d never know - there were no angels; there was no God. What divinity would allow for any of this to happen? This joke, this mockery of nature. You never were religious, but fumbled prayers had found their way into your vocabulary every night when you didn’t know where Joel and Sarah were. You - who had never even stepped into a church had prayed.

You must have forgotten there was nobody sitting in the sky to listen.

You had made your peace with the mutual decision to avoid him and the girl - not only because you didn’t even know how to start apologizing to her-but because you were content with the mere knowledge that he was here, that he was alive and breathing.

Tommy’s guilt worked in your favor, ensuring that he didn’t try pairing you and Joel up for patrols - likely fearful of the fallout that might occur (but like, what could even happen? another apocalypse?) but the comedown of that meant that you were paired up with Fred, instead. A man who infuriated you to no end, one who found it extremely interesting that you were once married, that you have a child. Had.

His ceaseless questions made you want to rip your hair out, but you refrained - if only so he wouldn’t have another reason to put his arms around you to try ‘calming’ you like last time. He was a bastard, but you didn’t have it in you to challenge him just yet.

Your answers to his enquiries were grunted or simply monosyllabic, your irritation clear as day in the set of your jaw, the slant of your brow. Nevertheless, like the dumbfuck he was, he persisted. So then how was this your fault?

It had been a decent morning. You’d gotten up early in time for the patrol, taken a shower, drank some water and arrived at the stables. But as you stood outside, you could hear the commotion of people inside - boisterous cheering and laughing as if one would hear in a pub. Interest piqued, you inched your way to the entrance of the barn silently, trying to understand what was going on. 

“…fuckin’ whore’s been leading me on for like half a year, turned out she was married the whole time. Dodged a bullet, though. Nearly lost her shit when he told her that her kid died. Went completely apeshit and ruined my goddamn shirt with her snot- nearly clawed through my arm, too. Feel bad for the poor husband, had to yell at everyone to get out just so he could calm her crazy ass down. Everyone’s lost someone, lady. Get over it, right? Plus, girl that age wouldn’t have done too well at a QZ, know what I mean? Wouldn’t have gone untouched, anyways.” He paused for them all to laugh at the supposed comedic gold in his words - him and his little pack of primitives - and all you could do was stand there, glued to the spot in shock.

The fucking audacity. Leading him on? You fucking tried your best to get him to stop talking to you, stop touching you - and you didn’t claw at his arm because you were crazy, you did it because you were fucking panicking and some idiot was making it worse by caging you in. And that was brushing aside what he said about Sarah. No, that had you seeing red, chest heaving.

Fuck, the old you would have broken his nose on the first day. Never is too late to do the right thing, is it? 

Just like before, a laugh was forming in your chest. A giggle at first, before you were chuckling, clapping a hand to your mouth and horrified with your own humour. The joke here was priceless, though. See - the world had ended, God was dead, and you were worried about being lightly reprimanded? Fuck that, and fuck him. You hadn’t let yourself feel fear out there. You hadn’t let yourself feel despair, and you sure as hell hadn’t let yourself feel hope. Joel’s arrival forced you to confront all the pain you had ignored. This cunt of a man was managing to unearth all the anger you had neglected, too. His fucking funeral.

Your tongue sat agitated against your teeth in anticipation, waiting to give way to the venom lacing the words in your brain. 

Fury sparked in your blood, washing away all your hesitation. Fragmented, she etched herself into the ring of black that blew out your pupils; the unfaltering thumping of your heart in your chest. The threads of your fate were now in her slender, silhouetted hands, and all that was left for you to do was obey. Not that you had a choice. 

Before you could so much as blink, you had burst into the crowd. Fred’s eyes widened at the wild snarl on your face, begging and apologizing.

He was unaware, though, of just how sick you had become of apologies. Tommy’s apologies, Joel’s apologies, Maria’s shitty ones, and then the sympathetic apologies you’d been getting from customers because apparently word of Sarah and her role in your life had spread like wildfire throughout Jackson. Joel wouldn’t have shared it, nor would Tommy- not when he knew you were two seconds away from breaking his nose just weeks ago. That left the kid Joel bought-Ellie-or Fred. And something just told you it wasn’t the girl. You’d trust Joel’s judgement blindly any day.

His empty sorrys fell upon deaf ears, his trembling voice cracking as he repeated them over and over.

You grinned, baring your teeth.

“Hello, Fred. Hello, everyone. Having a party and I wasn’t even invited?” You pouted mockingly. “Y’ know what I personally think is absolutely, knee-slappingly hilarious?” You paused, watching their curiosity grow as they fell hook, line and sinker for the cheerful façade, furrowing ther brows in question and stepping in closer. “How untouched you look, asshat.” Your grin dropped just as you rocked back on your heels, surging forward within a split second while throwing all your weight into your fist. 

Just as it collided with the asshat's jaw.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You’ve been…frazzled since Joel came back, fine, but I cannot excuse your behaviour just because I know you or because you’re family. This was absolutely out of line, is that clear?” Maria stopped her pacing to turn to you, expecting a justification or an apology. You offered neither. When you refused to so much as look up from your split knuckles, she threw her hands up, huffing at her husband, who was leaning against the table sheepishly while wincing every time her voice rose as she yelled at you. 

The door swung open and Joel practically stumbled in, eyes searching wildly until they landed on you curled up on a chair with your hands in your lap. Did news seriously spread that fast, even now? Guess people don’t have much to do when the world has ended.

“Look- I know, I know you went through a lot. At first, you were spacey and Tommy told me to just leave it alone. Then, you got the bookshop and you just spent all your time there or on patrols, never even trying to integrate yourself here, and I’ve let it go because he-“ a finger in Tommy’s direction, “-begged me to. Let go of your little…tantrum with Ellie, too. I watched Tommy mope around and I said nothing even when you refused to accept that he hadn’t told you about Joel, for your own good.” Tommy flinched, but she went on. “I just can’t do it this time. You broke Fred’s jaw, you know? He is a contributing, well-liked citizen in Jackson. Not a recluse. I didn’t believe you’d done it until I saw the state of your hand. You’re always so quie-just-just give me one fucking reason you would punch him.” She was panting by the end, her chest falling rapidly under the weight of her own tirade. 

Joel had planted himself directly between you and Maria, as if trying to protect you from the onslaught of her words. He looked more apologetic than you did, hands extending towards her while he took a deep breath, attempting to placate her. 

“Maria-now just wait a damn minute, she wouldn’t-“ 

Was he defending you? When had that happened? When had you become this-this blubbering, weak version of yourself that Joel had to protect? 

The cold, unforgiving numbness loosened its grip; fear, guilt but most strongly, shame coiling in your gut. Maria was right, in her own fucked up way. You had retreated so far back into yourself that all that was left within your grasp now was mere tendrils of who you used to be. 

Sarah would have been proud of me for punching the bastard, though. 

The thought rang in your mind as you raised your head, squared your shoulders. Took the stutter out of your voice, and looked Maria right in the eyes. 

“Your contributing, well-liked citizen said Sarah was lucky to die. That she wouldn’t have gone untouched in a QZ. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. And thanks to how well liked he is, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that he’s been touching me for months. That he took advantage of the fact that I was too fucking broken to say anything, to anyone. It’s not like you would’ve believed me.” You watched both Millers’ faces harden, brows furrowing as fury began sinking her talons in their flesh. Joel looked murderous, jaw set at that angle you knew meant he was livid. Good. You had been, too. Tommy looked shocked, anger painting his features, and his wife just looked terrified, eyes darting from you to Joel, wide and panicked. It made you smile at her, the curl of your mouth dripping with condescension and mockery. 

“Maria, I’m so sorry you’ve had to overlook this many…grievances, let’s call them. I’ll work on my attitude here, I promise. I’ll go to book club and gossip about my husband and my dead daughter. I’ll do my hair and cut my nails and smile at people who don’t fucking deserve it. Hell, I’ll even forgive Tommy.” You pause, nodding at him, watching the relief in his eyes. Smile dropping, you meet Maria’s gaze again. 

“But here’s what I won’t do- I won’t stand in a room with that asshole again without breaking all the other bones in his body. I won’t stay quiet next time his hands are on me - I’ll snap his fucking neck. Anyone else with anything else to say about Sarah - even if it’s just goddamn condolences - will find themselves in a similar predicament. Is that clear?” She blinked at you, mouth wide open at the radical transformation in you as you spoke, taking so long to nod that you doubted she’d heard you at first. You didn’t blame her - you’d folded in on yourself, made yourself small these past few years. Become meek: looking at the floor, wringing your hands; doing absolutely anything to avoid confrontation or issue. You’d been too tired to fight or stand on your own two feet, and everyone had focused on the wobble in your voice; the wet lining in your eyes; the shake of your hands, and just decided that just because you chose not to challenge them, you weren’t capable of it. Fuck that. 

Joel’s eyes shone as he looked at you, chin dipping in acknowledgment as he, too, had a stunned look on his face. You just shrugged back at him, swinging your legs and getting up, walking out of the house without so much as a glance over your shoulder. 

The flame that had forged your spirit - the fire burning in your veins, the one snuffed out long ago - flickered back to life. Dim,  shaky, practically translucent - but ignited. 

And fuck, it felt good to be back. 

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @imherefordeanandbones, @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore, @breakfastatjoels, @millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis, @pawnshopb1ues. dividers by me! series taglist (same rule: message/comment to be added or removed, no hard feelings): @spookyxsam, @obscurexsorrows, @planet-marz1, @lunxramour, @anavatazes, @joeldjarin, @stunkbiggu, @joels-darlin, @casa-boiardi, @noisynightmarepoetry, @chiogarza, @jasminedragoon, @daddy-din, @moonlightdivine, @stickthegremlin, @jamesmasbone, @avampiregf, @amanitacowboy

[ultimate-babygirl]

Yan Kalim + Jamil/Reader HCs

I went and made a whole new blog just so I could post these thoughts.

Jamil was NOT very happy about the idea of sharing. At first. He warmed up to it a little though after seeing his partner dressed in the most expensive outfits one could imagine because Kalim refuses to let his sweetheart walk around in anything worth less than $600

Kalim actually LOVES sharing. He is the number one Jamil/Yuu shipper. If Yuu decided they wanted to run away and marry Jamil alone Kalim would find his way to the wedding to pose as best man. He’d be a little disappointed, but they’re his two favorite people ever.

Is he a little yandere for Jamil too?? Perhaps a smidgen

His biggest thing is watching them. Whether it’s sitting in a chair next to the bed, or with Yuu propped up against his chest while Jamil fucks them. He loves to see his two favorite people making love.

Before they got together his go to fantasy was Jamil and Yuu. Always.

Jamil fucks like a machine btw. He LOVES overstimulation. Wants to fuck Yuu until they’re sobbing and can’t take anymore.

Ik a lot of ppl don’t like the concept of Jamil using his UM on his darling but. I’m fucking obsessed w/ it. Love hypnotism/mind control. Literally just anything in that area.

Anyway Jamil uses his UM to make Yuu feel twice as much as before, or to dull sensations. Anything that makes them frustrated. He finds it adorable.

I can never stop thinking ab this hypnosis vid I watched YEARS ago and now can’t find titled “Pain is Pleasure”. Jamil doing that to Yuu.

He fucks them until they literally can’t take it anymore and faint. He’ll stop then, but only because it’s not as fun without getting to see their tears.

Kalim is a great buffer for that actually. He’s a sweetheart and wants his darling treated gently. He usually stops Jamil from being too rough, but the second Jamil gets Yuu alone it’s over

Kalim’s gotten them alone a few times! He prefers the soft and slow approach. Lots of sweet kisses and praise. Jamil might call you his little whore but Kalim knows you’re his treasure.

Mirror sex w/ Kalim,,,,,,

Kalim gets Yuu in front of a mirror and touches them all while talking about how pretty and smart they are. Yuu always ends up flushed down to their chest by the end of it.

Kalim will make them repeat him. He doesn’t want the words going in one ear and out the other, so they have to say it themself! He hates punishing them but if it comes down to it he’ll stop touching until Yuu says it.

Kalim holding them down while Jamil uses his UM,, WAH

I know logically that for his UM he doesn’t have to like. Speak in a special voice or anything. But I can imagine.

“You’re our little treasure, understand? You’ll never leave us. You love us, after all.”

Kalim is a little insecure at the idea that Yuu didn’t already love them, but Jamil assures him this is just a safety net. Yuu is their little treasure, and so many people would love to steal something so beautiful.

In conclusion. Yeah I like them a lot

[seelestia]

we missed you, welcome back!

i had a thought for a few days now and then i saw that you were back and i just had to share this

so imagine that you wake up in teyvat one day and you speak a different language bc they probably don’t speak english in teyvat, and no one understands you, but then there’s the smart haravatat ppl like alhaitham and faruzan (idk if there is anyone else) who use their smart language brains to figure out how to talk to you, i think that would be super cute

.💭

BRAINROT ANON— my comrade on tumblr, i missed you too!! i'm so honored that you thought of me aww :') you knew i'd be glad to brainrot with you anytime!! /gen. i focused less on how they communicate with you, but rather more on the events surrounding this concept. hope ya don't mind! so good to see you again <3

extra note: this was written from a platonic pov! yk those movies where a protagonist helps out their 'otherworldly' companion to go back to their home world? yeah, that's what i'm going for here. movies like 'home' and 'cj7' came to mind immediately. that's us and faruzan!! oh, and alhaitham is here too, i guess. /j

-

imagine waking up one day to find yourself transported to the middle of the hypostyle desert. the sun burns, scorching hot on your skin then suddenly, it's gone? oh no, some strange turquoise lady is peering at your face with disapproval. you suspect she thinks you're a reckless traveler who forgot to bring ample supplies to a place like this. “███ ███ ████ ███?” she says and you realize you don't understand a word.

[translation: did your water storage run out?]

imagine the confusion on faruzan's face when you mumble a few sentences? noises? grumbles? she specializes in semiotics (and ruins), not speech pathology so how is she supposed to know? anyway, she graciously takes you in! and brings you back to her residence. yes, yes, how generous, applaud her later but she cannot hand you over to the akademiya just yet. (who knows what they'll do with you? you're obviously not of this world.)

imagine trying to communicate with faruzan using other means besides language. one of them includes pointing at the fresh apple slices on her kitchen counter. she gives them to you and notes how you say 'tenk yu' (?) which she takes as a sign of gratitude. of course, she also jots it down in her notes alongside her observations. how interesting.

and she manages the grand feat of roping alhaitham in, somehow someway. he's a youngster (everyone is a youngster if you're one hundred years old at this point) far too solitary for her liking — plus, notoriously hard to convince but that helps: he's someone who won't tattle! that's her logic here. she even had to invite him over for dinner and introduce him to you herself! ugh, she really had no more funds left to spare... so this better works.

it did, oddly. alhaitham's first instinct is to question and his deductions conclude that you are far too genuine (for lack of a better word) for all of this to be a ruse. the way you pointed at his fit and gave him a thumbs-up he assumed that you meant to say you thought it's “cool”.

alhaitham observes you; when you speak, none of the words sound familiar to his experienced ears and trust him, his quota of languages exceed many. he is not here to brag, so don't twist it. nor do you seem to understand anything whenever he or faruzan speaks. you don't even react in the slightest when he mentions or addresses you directly, only a tap on the shoulder works. it's safe to assume you do not know teyvatian language.

the guy in gray green turns to madam faru with a hum. she taught you to refer to her that way. it took hard work and lots of apple slices. “██... ██ ███ ████ █ ████?” he asks.

[translation: so... do you have a plan?]

“██ ███ █████!” she puffs out her chest in determination.

[translation: in due time!]

he sighs.

you blink, eternally confused.

[everythingispirates]

I *do* wanna ask you dmtnt questions so bad please tell me everything about how you would make it a good movie

like in general? I think it should have leaned more into the horror vibes they were gunning for in the trailer like at the very least make an attempt to have it stick out somewhat against the other movies. you could even have it end on them failing to get the trident or whatever if you wanna go for a darker tone like yeah it would render everything kind of pointless but it'd at least be interesting + you could hammer in that theme of destiny that's present in awe wrt will like he is doomed to be on that ship that will never change etc. have also said this before but will should have gotten to go full monster I think ideally at the beginning of the movie when henry takes his dive or whatever he should have fully died and will taking him back to shore should have counted as a breach of contract so he gets to be fish now. that could give henry a lot more angst as well like if he's not just trying to find the trident but also on some level like. running away from home so he won't have to face elizabeth after he basically caused will to get extra cursed. I also think they could have done a lot more with carina than just smartgirl like me personally I like to characterise her as kind of ruthless like not necessarily actively causing harm but willing to step over a lot of ppl to get what she wants. like she's grown up completely isolated and ostracised to me it would make sense if she's not great with people. could also have some tension between her and henry with carina being abandoned and henry just sort of throwing his perfectly good family away (at least in carina's eyes). as for jack, disregarding the fucking elephant in the room, in terms of scripting you could really hammer home the idea that he's totally given up like on life on everything etc. like him giving away the compass is fucking stupid but if you play it less as just plot go forward and more as jack letting go of the thing that's always been his main tool for getting what he wants, showing his complete loss of drive and whatever you could at least get something out of that plotline. could also get some dark comedy out of him being like. not actively suicidal but kind of just ready to die. if you played your cards right you could point to how he knows the afterlife is in more capable hands with will to the reason why, beyond him just being miserable on land. also like I said dark comedy you could have him literally doing gallows humour etc

n ee way these are just like ideas from my twisted mind tbh I also think for dmtnt to truly work you'd have to have laid better groundwork for it with ost like I think a cool thing to do in general would be to have like. the og trilogy and the new era of potc be really distinct thematically like og trilogy focuses a lot on class and ost has this wonderful potential core of religious struggles and like in a perfect world we'd have some thematic throughline to dmtnt but alas we live on hell planet so we have fucking. that instead 👍

[jakowskis]

torchwood fanfic resources

so i'm a chronic livejournal archaeologist, and fixating on 2000s media is particularly fun for me because it means i get to go digging on lj / dw / old fanfic forums. below you'll find some of the excavations from my torchwood fixation (give it up for month 6!) it's pretty much got every comm i've ever stumbled upon and found useful, or thought others would find useful. it's largely fanfic-oriented, though there's some more generalized comms, too. i hope you guys enjoy!

i was originally going to include a link to my reclist on this post as well, but it's still a wip, so i'll just post that separately in the future.

general disclaimer: most of the content here is from 2006-2013 or so. period-typical attitudes may pop up in places. i'm not sure if most modern tw fans have witnessed the original fandom at all, but i felt a need to say this anyway, because i've seen some icky stuff. i've warned for anything notable. gwen bashing in particular may unfortunately pop up in some of these comms, especially in the comments, so tread carefully.

if you're new to probing through old lj comms, remember to always have the wayback machine on hand, because you're going to run into a lot of purged accounts and seemingly lost fics, but sometimes you get lucky and something's been archived :)

as of the date i'm posting this, all of these comms are still accessible, but if you're from the future and some have been deleted, again, go ahead and give the wayback machine a try. additionally, livejournal has a system that includes 'cross-posting' in which, if authors choose to (and the majority of them do, to get their fics more visibility), fics get posted to multiple comms at once. so chances are, even if one comm gets deleted, the contents will survive through other comms. kind of like how reblogs continue to exist even when the original blog is deleted.

finally, ctrl + f is your best friend if you have a specific ship/character/trope you're invested in, especially in comms with less than ideal tagging systems. if a comm does have a substantial tagging system, you can find all of its tags by adding '/tags' the end of the urls i've provided.

ok... let's begin :-)

assorted livejournal communities

✎ torch-wood: this is essentially a torchwood subreddit. it started before the show even aired, and one of the highlights of it is episode reaction posts (easily accessible on the right side of the lj) that document how everyone immediately reacted to the eps, which is pretty damn cool, fandom-history wise. only thing i should mention is there's quite a lot of gwen and owen bashing in the comments of some of those reaction posts, so just be wary of that if you love those two like i do, 'cuz it's a bit of a bummer.

✎ torchwood-three: this comm is an extremely cool then-daily newsletter (that still updates sometimes?!) that compiled as much fan-content as it could find into cleanly organized lists. the posts made immediately after new episodes aired contain reactions, discussions, meta, theories, new fic, fanmixes, just about everything. very very cool to go back and see the way the fandom was thinking as the show was airing and as they were getting to know the characters. here's a direct link to all posts made in late 2006, during the airing of s1.

✎ torchwood-fic: exactly what it says on the tin. desktop layout is easy to navigate, tags are all there!

✎ torchwood-fic's profile page also features a list of affiliated accounts that's pretty handy. it's worth taking a peek at, in case i've excluded anything in this post that you might be interested in.

✎ twgenrefinders: handy dandy comm where people would ask for fics of a certain variety & be treated with reclists, or hyper-specific fics... pretty cool stuff, ive got several threads bookmarked to sort through the links later. ofc, please note that some of the things people asked for might be stinky. particularly i've seen a lot of ppl requesting gwen bashing fics :/

✎ twstoryfinder: cousin to the above comm; here, people would ask for a very specific fic they'd lost. it's kind of fun to find fics through because you get someone describing memorable scenes + hyping it up, so it's different than just a standard summary. this one still gets posted on, too, which is crazyyy.

✎ tw-unpaired: for gen fics! no romance allowed! there's some good character studies + friendship fics in there. stuff's tagged by character + authors are even tagged, in case you find one whose writing you particularly enjoy. this is v useful for when someone's main journal has been deleted.

✎ torchwood-decaf: a comm where janto is BANNED. nah i'm kidding, it's not anti-janto, it was just made because janto is so huge that it overshadows everything else. pretty smart, tbh; wading through the sheer mass of janto content can be tiresome.

✎ jack-in-cuffs: for dark tw fic, or uber smutty tw fic. as a fan of dark!fic, there's some goodies in here, but of course it's not everyone's cup of tea. most of the writers included warnings, but if you go a little further back, some people weren't as courteous; navigate with caution.

✎ jack-owen: for fic featuring our captain and his (second favorite) doctor. i know this pairing's kinda divisive nowadays, but i enjoy it a lot. the comm's got a dismal tagging system and, ngl, i don't truly like any of the fics there (i'm very intrigued by jack and owen's relationship but i've never found fic that really does them justice, and i still haven't figured out how to write them myself) - but i'll include it anyway.

✎ odetojoi: for fic featuring owen in the middle of a janto sandwich, for those of us who are allergic to women (/sarcasm). there's an oddly impressive supply of fics of the three of them, and a good chunk of them can be found in this comm. (everytime i see this comm i think of a certain abbreviation found in p/rnogr/phy... but i digress)

✎ halfwee-and-tea: for ianto x owen fic. haven't gone through this one much, truthfully. i hate when comms have no tagging systems agh.

✎ owenharper-fans: a comm for the saddest undeadest bisexualest doctor around. also features a few burn appreciation posts, which is nice to see pre-pac rim era. mostly just features a shit ton of owen fic, particularly owen x ianto fic. mostly sufficiently tagged. if you need me once i post this, btw, i will be balls deep in this comm.

✎ the pro-owen alliance: another owen-focused comm - i think this one was made directly in response to owen bashing. haven't combed through this one much but it's got a fair amount of fics.

✎ house-of-cooper: a gwen comm! made in response to gwen bashing. haven't gone through it, but i'm glad it exists.

✎ torchwoodcoffee: ianto comm! this one's hugeee. the majority of it's janto, but the pairings aren't tagged, which is really frustrating. about 6k fics on there, though! just untagged. fff.

✎ tw-femficfest: a comm for fic about any and all of the torchwood ladies. tagging's cleanly done & there's some handy fic round ups, too.

✎ tw-femslash: yuri!!! wahoo!!! a comm for f/f tw ships. there's quite a lot of fic on here, but unfortunately there's no tagging whatsoever. sigh.

✎ tw-classic: a comm for 'all things series one and two of torchwood'. was made after s3 and was popular around s4 out of nostalgia for the golden age <3 good amount of fic, discussions, etc.

✎ torchwood-house: this comm is, like, letterboxd, but for torchwood fanfic. basically a group of individuals who thought of themselves as having Good Taste would read Good Fic and then go in this comm and write a post about why they recommend it. it's well-made, easy to scroll through, and sells the fics v well, and it kinda gets you more excited to read them when you get to see someone hype them up with Fancy Words. it's like a little torchwood yaoi bookclub. we're eating quiche

✎ tw100: a drabble challenge; this thing's full of 100 word drabbles. ngl i hate drabbles but i'm throwing it in here anyway

✎ touchyerwood: i love kink memes... i love kink memes less when my favorite character/pairing is unpopular. the pac rim kink meme's been a blessing bc i'm a basic ass newmann - the torchwood kink meme? not so much. it's got a fair amount of shit, though, so maybe someone else will appreciate it. this one isn't the original, that one's been wiped off the internet, to my chagrin. keep in mind before digging that people in kink memes are horny & gross. that's your warning.

✎ reel-torchwood: for any and all movie aus... ok i have a bone to pick with this comm. i'm a big movie nerd, i love film, i've seen dozens of films i've thought would make good aus - i combed through this and there is not a SINGLE fic in there that piqued my interest. NOTHING. needless to say my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. i'm sure my experiences aren't universal though.

✎ torchwoodslash: ah, remember when we called it slash? gee whiz. i'm not big on this comm, it's not very user friendly + there's like no tags whatsoever so it's extremely hard to navigate. enter at your own risk & good luck, lol.

✎ rounds-of-kink: this isn't a torchwood-exclusive comm, but it's got a sizeable torchwood tag, which can be found here. pretty organized tagging system; makes me happy.

✎ tw-declassified: this comm was mainly used for running a 'torchwood bingo', which, i've been in other fandoms that do episode bingos and it's usually cute... this one confused me a little so i didn't bother peeking around too much, but still a cool little bit of fandom history.

✎ writerinadrawer: this was an annual torchwood writer's challenge that ran for four years... it's kinda hard to navigate but it does have some fic in it so i'm putting it here.

✎ dmarley-recs: a recs journal someone ran for compiling torchwood fic; it's got a l o t of recs on there, largely jack/ianto.

ok and straying from lj briefly for two other places to find fic...

✎ kink_bingo: this is a dreamwidth comm, and it's not torchwood-exclusive, so i've linked straight to the torchwood tag. this comm has a livejournal equivalent, but for some reason the tw tag is pretty barren on that one? not sure why. but on dw it's got a fair amount. the tagging system is rough, it tags fandom and kink but not pairing, which is irritating, and every post is hidden under a cut AND makes you go through a discretion barrier every single time (but probably only if you don't have an account? i'm not logged in) which makes navigation a pain. but i dunno, more smut, if you want it.

✎ whofic.com: this site is for doctor who fic, but it's got a very substantial amount of torchwood fic. i do not, however, like the formatting at all. i'm being overly nice; i HATE the formatting. it's very reminiscent of fanfic dot net but, like, worse. it reminds me of adultfanfiction dot org which was a NIGHTMARE to use. but! there is torchwood fic there so it's going in here.

aaaand there we go! that's all i have. i hope these prove handy! enjoy :D

[seasaltmemories]

The Question of Dark Aono's Role

I don't want to make any definitive statements towards Dark Aono's role in the story on either a literal or metaphorical level. It feels like there is still a lot Shiina is holding back about him; however, I feel like for all the terrible horrors he could represent, at this it is pretty clear Dark Aono is not just a simple abuse allegory

Like I get why it might appear that way early in the story, we don't actually know Aono that well, and neither does Yuri, and stories of men turning "into completely different ppl" once locked into a relationship do exist, what Aono does with his limited agency speaks in direct opposition to that. When he feels he crossed a line, he isolates himself from Yuri and tries to stay away from her. In the cannibalism dream sequence he begs Yuri to run away from him even when she is determined to feed herself. Much of his greatest conflict is about being stuck in this monstrous role and trying to self-sabotage himself.

And like perhaps this could be a seen as a messy representation of the honeymoon phase of abuse, where apologies are made and the abuser is extra affectionate to make up for it, but I lean away from that bc we have much better representations of that in the familial stages. Midori and Hitomi both tend to follow up the worst of their wrong-doings with explicit apologies and excess affection, sometimes immediately after the incident. The Aono to Dark Aono cycling doesn't hit nearly the same beats, even when taking into account the supernatural elements.

While I don't want to lock myself into one interpretation before the story is finished, I always come back to the stairwell incident. Where Dark Aono is shocked in Aono when Yuri informs him he sounds like Midori for saying exactly what his Mother used to tell him. I think of how when he regains control, it is usually followed by shame and self-loathing, sometimes simply saying that his behavior was "weird' or outright calling himself a conman.

It is such a tricky situation bc to me Dark Aono has distinctive quirks and differences from our Aono in attitude/speech/everything, even when both characters try and manipulate others, they do it in very different ways. Yet for as drastic as the switch can be, he is never so clearly an alternate personality or entity taking over. Aono has stated outright that the further in the story he goes, the more aware he grows during this shifts, and many take place specifically due to Aono's emotional state rather than any outside taboo breaking. Dark Aono is both something alien, something intrusive, yet also a painfully familiar thing that clearly originates in himself

In the end I am reminded much more of how the aftereffects of abuse haunt even relationships formed years after escaping the situation. Aono was taught love is choosing one ultimate idol and doesn't realize how fucked up that is until he finds himself parroting the same words back to Yuri. Aono reverts to a child-like state and tries to prove both to others and to himself he is worthy of love when he realized he fucked up in some way. He excuses all his self-destructive self isolating coping mechanisms as necessary even while calling out those same traits in others

But as man-painy and gross the premise of "guy keeps hurting his gf even though he doesn;t want to bc mommy issues and that makes him sad" could be, what makes Shiina's writing compelling is she makes it clear that the one suffering the most here in the present is Yuri. Having sympathy for Aono doesn't make her situation any less worse, and from where volume 10 ends off, there are things Aono needs to answer for that can't be explained away by spooky occult shenanigans. I feel like Aono's ultimate role as either ally or antagonist will be determined by his choices in the end, no matter how many or few he has. There haven't been any easy answers in the story and so I don't except to suddenly discover them this late in the game. But regardless of how it plays out I can't help but already praise her for putting such an interesting and unpredictable spin on "dark alter egos" in a genre that can be overstuffed with them.

[foggystarrs]

I loved your Glamrock headcanons! Do you by any chance have any for the DCA??

Oh most definitely!! I swear they’re some of my fav animatronics from SB & Ruin tbh

Sun:

☀︎ A sweetheart! He’s always excited to meet someone new. Especially if they’re a new friend!!

☀︎ He can never stay still ever, he always has to be doing something with his hands or feet, wether it’s swaying or flapping his hands in a happy stim!

☀︎ He tends to interrupt really easily, ESPECIALLY when he gets excited. Sometimes the adults get mad though, so he’s learned to hold himself back.

☀︎ He adores children, he always tries to find a way to make them feel comfy in the daycare. ESPECIALLY if the kid is scared of him at first. He knows he’s not for everyone though, so if his advances don’t work he watches from afar and places the kid’s favorite things near them strategically so that they’re still having a good time.

☀︎ ADHD

☀︎ Can a robot have Adhd?? I’m not sure but he’s got Adhd in my mind bc I have Adhd and I said so. He’s sooo ADHD coded.

☀︎ This man cannot sing for the life of him, he’s got a cute tune or two for clean up time when the kids have to clean their area but that’s it. If he tries to sing like the Glamrocks it sounds more like a parrot dying or something TwT

☀︎ Clean freak. The minute every kid has gone home this dude is running around yelling about cleaning up. Everything needs to be spotless and in the right spot or he will EXPLODE.

☀︎ Extrovert, he’s the type to adopt an introvert tbh. Like he can make almost anyone feel comfortable around him.

Moon:

☾ He’s actually a chill guy. Introvert, and super shy when meeting new ppl.

☾ He’s less shy around kids though, he adores kids too.

☾ Super gentle and soft spoken. I guess it’s the nap time programming in him.

☾ A great listener, will never interrupt anyone when speaking.

☾ He likes to be suspended in the air by his wire. It’s where he’s most comfortable rather than being on the ground like Sun. He’s great at moving around in the air and sometimes does cool acrobatic tricks when he’s got free time.

☾ A stickler to the rules, well, to be fair they both are but Moon is more strict about them. He is a rule enforcer after all.

Virus! Moon:

☽ This dude is a menace. He will scare the security guards and fazbear workers on purpose. Just because.

☽ Violent toward adults. Children are sometimes the exception but if you’re a rule breaker he’s putting you in… an eternal nap if you know what I mean….

☽ Anger issues. Which often lead to those violent outbursts. It started with nap time, when some kids would refuse to sleep, he would enforce the rules. After many complaints of kids getting nightmares and some even disappearing mysteriously, Fazbear entertainment decided to just stop nap time all together.

☽ Clean freak. Probably worse than Sun tbh. He HAS to clean up. Seriously, why are kids so messy? He’s still gotta put them in time out but he HAS to make sure to clean up that tower that kid just knocked down or he’ll go CRAZY.

☽ If he sees Monty it’s on sight. They’ve had beef ever since he got in the way during one of his security patrols.

☽ No seriously, like imagine two animatronics with anger issues. It will not end well.

Eclipse:

☾☼ Ambivert, can be super social sometimes and super quiet the next.

☾☼ Soft spoken and very polite, he never interrupts when someone is speaking.

☾☼ He’s very attentive to his surroundings and extremely perceptive. If something’s wrong he’ll be the first to figure it out.

☾☼ Loves singing and he can actually sing, but he prefers slower melodies than those that the Glamrocks sing. Something in between a lullaby and a ballad.

☾☼ Hopeless romantic, his guilty pleasure is watching sappy romcoms. But shhh! Don’t tell anyone!

☾☼ He, like his other counterparts, also adores children. He’s great at handling both playtime and nap time. The perfect combination of both.

☾☼ He gets lonely. Like really lonely. He tries to be optimistic but the reality always crashes in late at night. It gets even worse after RUIN. The kids will eventually come back… right?

☾☼ He also has security protocols and can be extremely protective of those he deeply cares for, especially children.

That’s it for them! The hyperfixation on FNAF is so real rn 😭

But I’m loving these requests!!

Thanks for reading~!