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frozenjokes · 1 month ago

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horrible family reunion

ao3 link

“Oh, I forgot to ask, have you called your folks yet?” The question came out of nowhere from Cleo the next day, and it startled Scar slightly, like having his mind read. He’d been thinking about it. Of course he’d been thinking about it. Sleeping at Cleo’s legs hadn’t managed to quell his homesickness, his desires still centered around the fantasy of being piled up in a group of snoozing mercenaries, resting until their next mission. He missed the warmth, the shallow breaths of alive bodies. Maybe he’d try to get further up by Cleo’s chest once they were asleep; calling home or not, Scar wouldn’t get to doze with his fellows any time soon.

“I tried,” the admission came meeker than he’d meant it to, “I couldn’t figure it out. There were instructions on the pamphlet, but it was gone when I meant to.. I don't know. I couldn’t figure it out.”

Cleo's gaze shifted to something heavier, sympathetic not like pity, but understanding, a look that might have picked Scar up and hugged him if it had been any more intense. Scar wavered under it, dejection of his failings splitting his chest in a gaping black cavity he was sure she could see, even through the clothes he tried to hide it with.

“Come on then,” Cleo was already walking away, decidedly less all-encompassingly soothing than he’d lost himself to, but he snapped out of it, hurrying after them. Goodness, he was in dire need of being held. This was ridiculous.

“Let’s show you this first,” Cleo sat once they were both inside, Scar standing behind her, wary as he always was outside of the safe room. Cleo didn’t need his acknowledgement though, continuing, “This is the main panel you want to worry about. Most of the important stuff you can do with this. It’s a little difficult since you don’t know the language, but I don’t think that will be a great obstacle. You’ll probably only need to know how to spell your name, but it’s short in English, so it’s not too bad.”

“How would you know how to spell it? We have different letters.”

“Oh, well your name translates directly to an English word, so it’s not hard. The names that don’t necessarily mean anything.. we do our best. The epitome of sounding it out, y’know? Regardless, here’s how you access your papers,” Cleo returned to the control panel, gesturing to a button on the keyboard, “When you press this, a different screen will pop up,” she did so, letting Scar see, “It’s got a lot of information here, but all you need to care about is the search bar up there, the long rectangular box. You’re going to select it, and then you’re going to type your name. S-C-A-R.” Cleo pointed to each key as they spoke. Scar strained to remember, following their finger with a distant paw. “Why don’t you try to type it?”

Scar bit his lip, ear pinned. He tried. Four letters- he didn’t even have to know the letters, it was just like a keycode on a lock. All the characters were smushed to one side, it couldn’t have been any easier. Hesitation did him a disservice, and he was already forgetting. He hit four keys. Nothing happened.

“Not quite,” Cleo frowned, but not judgmentally. “Okay, better idea.” Cleo retrieved a small notebook and a pen from a drawer, sitting back and drawing on the first page. ‘S-C-A-R,’ just like the symbols on the keyboard. Underneath his name, Cleo drew a small rectangle, writing another human word inside of it. Then, they pointed to it on the keyboard. “After you write your name, hit that button. It should bring you to the page you’re looking for.” Cleo gestured for Scar to try.

He did. It took him a minute, but matching the symbols was much easier, and he was quite pleased with himself! He was a little less pleased when Cleo made him do the same thing ten more times. But hey, he could spell his name in Human now! With the same amount of repetition, Cleo taught him how to find his pamphlet and how to print it. A little annoying, but in the end Scar didn’t have anything else he would rather be doing. It was a relief to know.

Calling home was a much simpler matter. There was a button on the panel that Cleo said was an image of a human phone, though Scar had never seen one that looked like a backwards ‘C.’ On the communicator screen, Scar recognized his own name. Briefly, he was annoyed it wasn’t written in his own language; how hard would that have been to do? They had a whole pamphlet in his language, would this have been so much of a hassle? Maybe he would have figured this out sooner. Regardless, it wasn’t hard to select his name. Cleo blinked, surprised at the drop down menu.

“No place to add numbers. Looks like you’ve just got one option.”

“What does it say?”

“Just the name of your planet. I’ve got no idea where or with whom the call is going to connect. Might as well give it a shot though.”

Scar’s stomach twisted. He didn’t.. he wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, but to have so little control over who he talked to.. He might not even get to speak with someone he knew; he had been dreading talking to Grian, but somehow this was worse. It didn’t matter what anyone really said to him, he just wanted to see a familiar face.

“Did you call yet?”

Scar jumped at Cub’s voice- he just seemed to appear behind him, since when was Cub so quiet?

Cleo answered in Scar’s stead, “We were just about to. I’m shocked you didn’t come sooner, I didn’t think you’d want to risk missing something like this.”

Cub shrugged. “I meant to. Got distracted.”

“Well, Scar,” Cleo turned back to the screen, “If you’re ready, selecting the number and pressing enter will dial it. Hopefully it goes through, but if not we can try again later.” Scar wished she’d just do it for him. He was suddenly afraid of messing this up somehow.

He persevered. The screen dialed.

“Hello, Scar,” a face Scar didn’t recognize answered him, further sinking his sullen heart. Maybe the receiver noticed his dejection, because their professionalism fell, expression apologetic. As they spoke, subtitles in Human dotted the bottom of the screen. “I’ll be able to connect you back to your clan in a moment.”

“Could I speak to Mumbo?” the words were out of Scar’s mouth before he could think to stop himself, recoiling moments later in his embarrassment.

“I don’t know a Mumbo.. sorry..” the receiver looked awkward, glancing the other direction, “You’ll be redirected to your local terminal. Just a moment, please.” There were no other words shared between them before the screen flickered black, and Scar was momentarily terrified that the call disconnected.

And then the feed was back, back with someone Scar recognized. He could have cried. Impulse stared back at him with those stark yellow eyes, the white patch on his chest standing out against the rest of his inky black fur. Scar had always wondered if he had horns, or if his spectral aura only created the illusion.

“Scar..” he said, uncertain. It stung Scar slightly to be regarded with such hesitation, but most cats’ opinions on him weren’t a great secret. Impulse was nice at least, but it was obvious he would rather share grooms with most anyone else. This.. was not an uncommon opinion.

“I’d like to speak with Mumbo if he’s around.” It was becoming increasingly clear Scar would not be getting what he was looking for from anyone else.

“I’ll send for him,” Impulse straightened, like it was far more comfortable to talk business than float in the threat of small talk. “Grian’s already on his way.”

“I don’t want to talk to Grian.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice. I’d just keep your head down if I were you.” Scar saw an uncharacteristic flash of anger, maybe bitterness in Impulse’s eyes, and a potential show of teeth, though it was impossible to tell, his fangs as black as his fur. “With recklessness like this, you're more than overdue to have your head ripped off.”

Scar’s ear pinned, unable to help the growl that slid from his throat, “Right, good to know I’ve been so missed as for my recklessness to be your main concern.”

Impulse did not flinch. “Playing with your life is playing with all our lives. What were you thinking? Those ships are off limits for a damn reason, and now we’re down a soldier with nothing to show for it. What was the point, Scar? An adrenaline rush? Was it worth it? When will you grow up?” Scar saw the pain there, he saw the pain just as clearly as he’d known it his whole life. Impulse had kids, Scar knew that. Still, every hair on his pelt set on end, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Cleo get up, then Cub pull her away.

“Would have been better if I was just plain dead, right? At least you’d get a meal.” Scar spat, furious in his own pain. It was never enough, was it? He was never enough, he would never be enough for anyone.

“That’s- no.” Impulse backed down, but Scar didn’t believe him. It didn’t matter what Impulse said, Scar would never believe him. “Scar, I’m glad you’re alive. We’re all glad you’re alive. It’s going to be hard without you here.”

“Shut up. Shut up. I don’t answer to you. I outrank you, you answer to me, and I want Mumbo, so maybe you could do your fucking job and get him here!”

“Scahhrr,” the telltale drawl of Grian’s voice silenced the room, even the remaining dredges of conversation from other catfolk during Impulse’s and Scar’s fight. Well, if that was a fight, they were about to learn what a real screaming match looked like. Impulse dropped away from the desk, the cat sìth retreating into the dark.

Grian was not an inherently intimidating figure. He was a sphinx, small and brown with that signature flat face, his own pale and dotted with freckles. What was really impressive about him were the wings, bright and colorful, red, blue, yellow. The feathers shook and rattled when Grian was angry, and today one might have mistaken the room to be full of snakes. “Who is it you answer to?”

Scar narrowed his eyes. “Sir.”

“How long men tussle in the dust, fight, rightly, ‘for they rust, rot, trust me damned man, plans unplanned, unwise, unlistened, unheard. A fool might wonder who lays the blame in a cruel mind unfortunate, caught in blasts that rattle hearts too young, brought to fly too early, too stupid, though he insisted naught. But we remember. We think. We wonder. Who's to blame for your lost mind. Lost ear. Lost lives. We remember, do we?”

“Who is this fucking guy?” Cub’s voice made Scar jump, but Grian’s soulless eyes did not leave Scar. Grian was waiting for an answer. Scar would not give him one. “No, seriously, why is he talking like that?” Cub was left unacknowledged.

“Scahhr. Marred heart. Who do we blame? Who is your only undoing?”

“I haven’t- Are years without incident not enough for you? How long will it take, huh?”

“Without incident!” Grian howled, and Scar saw others begin to scatter, dropping their headphones and retreating out the door. “A tree without leaves. A cat without claws. A Scar without incident. Fool greater than foulest words, who will never be less trouble than he’s worth? Answer.”

“I’m doing my best.”

Grian squawked a sharp laugh, in it no joy. “Mumbo knew. Mumbo knew. Still you fly, flew, you reach, you tear, you force his hand. Who is his own ruin? No, not just his own. To ruin yourself, that is selfless. You. Like venom, you infect every wound.”

“Congratulations, you’ve learned to answer your own questions. Would have been great if anyone told me about the time looping human death prisons, but sure, finding out for myself is just as fine a way as any to get rid of me. Three whole years, wow, G, what a treat that is for you! So lucky not to have to deal with me anymore, isn’t that right? You fuckin’ hate me so much! My biggest crime is surviving a bust mission, and yeah, sure, the play wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t perfect, but maybe I wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone if I knew I’d be scrutinized about it for the rest of my damn life! What does it take, huh Grian? What the hell does it take?” It occurred to Scar late he’d been talking for an awfully long time without being interrupted. He looked up. He..

He had never seen Grian shake so hard, claws buried in the seat, fur bristled, tail and wings quivering.. Scar knew instantly he’d said something very wrong. This was not going to be one of their typical arguments.

“IF ANYONE TOLD YOU!?” Grian was so loud that Scar physically recoiled, eyes wide and ears pinned as Grian lunged toward the camera. “If anyone- IF ANYONE TOLD YOU!? If anyone told you. IF ANYONE TOLD YOU!”

Scar cowered under the massive screen, certain Grian was going to tear through it and pull him apart limb by limb. He’d known sphinxes could get stuck like this, he’d seen it happen, but never in this context. This repetition came most commonly from grief, from shock, from loss. Scar had seen it from Grian, grieving the two mercenaries that fell on Scar’s mistake. That died because Scar had let a person go, he’d wanted to continue chasing them, but he lost them around the hall. He did not remember the explosion. Distantly, he remembered space, floating. He remembered someone touching his face. His mother, maybe. But she was dead. (Later, he’d been told he was found in a corner, smushed between metal boxes and supply crates. That he’d taken cover and hid. If he’d been in space with a torn up suit, he’d never have survived. It was a miracle he endured the explosion in the first place.)

Seeing Grian, who he had looked up to so completely, stuck.

It had frightened him more than anything in the world. More than being yelled at, screamed at, forced to admit his blame over and over and over.

“How did this happen?” were the words. The words Grian couldn’t stop repeating. They were desperate words, frightened words, deeply upset, shocked words. Scar remembered, half conscious, Grian shaking him. He’d had to be pulled away by doctors and nurses.

Grian had approached Scar later, still hospitalized, but conscious. Grian hadn’t been stuck anymore, but he’d asked the same question. It frightened Scar so badly he could only tell the truth. He was so afraid. He’d just turned of age, the age cats were allowed to enlist. He hadn’t been allowed to fly before then, even at his insistence he train.

Grian never forgave him.

Finally, Grian broke his repetition, but the words were no less harsh, “PEARL. IMPULSE. SKIZZ. GEM. JOEL. MUMBO. MUMBO. MUMBO!!! Marred heart, broken oath, cold blood. Risk your life, risk your fellows, never listen! Stupid, less than worthless, welcome home with only a dead pulse. I will make sure of it, I will make sure. Who is worse than reckless? No one told you. No. You never cared, that’s what.” Grian swiveled around. Feathers whisked away in his wake. And just like that, it was over. Scar’s life, over.

Scar sat on the floor. He couldn’t get any lower. He.. he knew. He knew how Grian felt. He knew how Grian hated him, hated especially Scar and Mumbo’s friendship, how Scar would take Mumbo up and put his life in peril, just like he’d done to Grian’s past friends, lovers even; in communities so tight knit, it was all the same.

“Whoa-“ the mic picked up someone across the room, and Scar looked up to see Mumbo collide with Grian in the doorway, then Grian push past without another word. Mumbo looked quite like he wanted to pursue Grian, but glanced at the screen, at Scar, and broke away to approach him instead. Neither of them said anything for a many long moments.

“Chewed you out, huh?” Mumbo tried after a while, but there was no joy behind it.

“I can’t come home.”

“He say that again? You know he doesn’t mean it, mate, he can’t do anything about it anyway, that’s not his jurisdiction. I wish he’d stop telling you that..”

“He meant it. He meant it this time. I can’t come home.”

Mumbo was quiet for a moment. He might’ve started to speak, but Scar was suddenly overcome, talking over whatever Mumbo was about to say in a stark panic.

“Was I supposed to know? Know about this? This- This stupid human prison?”

Mumbo seemed to stop in his tracks, eyes widening, “Oh, Scar,” he was horrified, distinctly the wrong reaction, “You’re joking, mate. Seriously.”

Scar stared helplessly. “I- No! How many times was this mentioned, really?”

“We have to renew our training every year, Scar! There’s a whole section on these ships. I- I told you before you boarded! I told you it was a terrible idea! You wouldn’t have it any other way!” Now Mumbo was angry, oh god Mumbo was angry, and suddenly Scar wanted nothing more than for Cub or Cleo to put a bullet in his head. “You can’t- You can not seriously say you didn’t know. You didn’t tell Grian that, did you? Fuck.” Mumbo drew his hands over his face, black and white patterned.

“It’s my fault.”

“It is your fault! This could not be more completely, utterly your fault. Did you not-? Scar, I- This just- I don’t know. Maybe I should have stopped you. I can’t- I don’t know. I just hate when you don’t.. listen. I have to go, I’m sorry, I just can’t deal with this right now. I hate when I advocate for you and you just- augh. So stupid.”

Scar did not see Cleo stride forward and end the call. She looked at him. He wanted to die.

“What a bunch of shitheads, right?” Cub’s contribution was met with a glare from Cleo, but he paid them no mind, stretching uncaringly. “Yeah, I think I’d rather be here. Yeesh. At least we know we’re all assholes.”

“Cub, come on.”

“No! Seriously! If it’s a choice between back home with that load of losers or up here where we can at least have fun with it, it’s not even close! Come on, Scar, off the floor,” Cub wandered over, nudging Scar with his foot. “Whatever you’ve done I promise you I’m about a hundred times worse and the only way you’re gonna stop feeling like shit is to stop giving a fuck. You didn’t do your training and got stuck in a time loop, who cares! Let’s go break some shit and throw a party about it or draw pictures of our exes and burn them with lasers, let’s go.”

Quietly, hoarsely, he spoke, “I just want to go home.”

“Boooo, home, we hate home, I never want to go home!”

“Alright, that’s enough from you,” Cleo huffed, smacking Cub over the head. Scar did not move when she approached him, falling limp as he was scooped up off the floor. He felt a lot like he was floating in space, his mother’s hand against his cheek. Her touch was distant, fleeting, and every time he chased it she was further and further away.

At some point he recognized he was in bed. In Cleo’s bed, held close against her chest. He might have sobbed. He didn’t remember.

…

Time passed, and what could never be normal again became a little more feasible, a little less difficult. Was it ever possible to want and to love again, Scar did not know, but no one could force him to answer on this quiet little spaceship in the midst of nowhere.

…

The longer Scar spent around humans, the more unsettling he found them to be. The passing time had been uneventful mostly. The thought of starting the puzzles was floating at the back of Scar’s mind, but his main focus was easing his own hurt, and he had little energy for much else. Cub didn’t seem interested in anything to do with puzzles either, and if Scar was being honest with himself, he did not have the energy to get into it with Cub again.

In general though, humans were just.. strange. Very strange, and very weird about it too. They would not stop staring at him, a lot like kittens, always curious and looking at you in that unfocused, distant way. Always, they were always staring. He could not doze without the looming feeling of being watched, because he was being watched, every single time he opened his eyes one or both humans were watching. They didn’t like it when Scar stared back, they always looked away then, but there was nothing guilty about it, they’d just been watching and that was normal??? Scar wasn’t sure they could help it! He’d told them to knock it off multiple times, and while Cub denied staring in the first place, Cleo would agree to stop, but he still caught her just as much!

“You look like one of my cats. It’s a good thing,” Cleo had tried to explain themself, a little awkward. “Big girl, very good. Makes me miss her.”

Scar growled from his place near the ceiling, tail flicking. “I’m no deserter.”

Cleo snorted, “I don’t see how either of these two things are related in literally any capacity, but I’m deeply intrigued, say more right now.” Cub looked up, but Scar shut him down with a glare before he could say something snarky or dumb or just generally unpleasant. Cub must have been interested in the story however, because he looked back down to the game he was working on, saying nothing.

Well, Scar would be lying if he didn’t thrive off the attention. He let his front paws hang from the machinery he’d settled precariously on top of, rolling his eyes. “Our history of space travel is vast and impressive but when you get into the weeds, utterly boring. I like space. Space is great. Too many details though, no thanks, you’ll lose me. In one ear and out the other, that’s how it goes with me.”

“You only have one ear,” Cub mumbled. Valiantly, Scar chose to ignore him.

“Regardless, all you need to know is that space exploration was a great passion of my people thousands of years ago when hardly anyone else was doing it, and explore we did. For missions at great distances, our crews needed to be small for more efficient resource use, and our greatest astronauts were the smallest of us. Your ‘cats.’ They didn’t have it all; lacking limbs and thumbs especially, but with a little extra help on board, they did great, great things. Our old maps of the galaxy are the best there ever was, and you can bet it was their contributions that made it happen.”

“Do you still make maps? Cub asked, but there was an interest there that appealed to Scar’s ego, so he answered before the rest of his brain could get mad at Cub for interrupting him.

“No, not anymore. We don’t- well, the old ones are brilliant enough as it is. We make updates as need be, but as far as map making goes, that’s now a common hobby among the universe, not something we bother with anymore. We’d rather keep our people close to home.”

“That’s a shame. I’d love to see the ones you have, I’m sure they’re cool. Are they physical, or all electronic? I wonder how much has changed.”

“We- We have multiple versions. It’s taken a lot of great care to preserve the earliest physical versions, and they really are incredible. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them, that was more of a field trip activity. I’ll have to go back.”

“If I’m okay with dying, would your people let me see them?”

“Uh, no.”

“Damn.”

“Back to the cats!” Cleo rallied, “Enough nerd stuff. Tell of the crimes of my kitty cats’ ancestors, please.”

Scar’s tail twitched distastefully, but regardless, he continued, “Well, a lot of the roles of space travel began to be filled by the little guys because of how well suited they were to it. It was a point of great pride, and prideful they were, certainly. Species-wise, it was a common belief that our planet was too small to hold the lot of us, hold them more specifically, and there were places out there better suited. It was.. a point of contention, for sure. Now, we’re a hearty people, but even then, finding a whole other planet where the stars align to create something habitable? That’s pretty.. well, impossible sounding. But they found it. They sure found it. And boy, wasn’t that exciting. Conceptually exciting, yes, but they were thinking further than that, they stepped foot in the wilderness of Earth and decided it was better.”

Scar grimaced. “That was.. controversial. A chunk of the population just deciding they want to get up and go, well, it didn’t go over well. Our planet isn’t perfect, it never was, particularly agriculturally, but there were quite a few issues with picking up the lot of us and fucking off to somewhere new. Civil wars were massive issues during that time, fighting over the right to leave, to keep them with the rest of us. A lot of industry halted, and given the size differences between species, the little guys were more easily abused. Still.. Didn’t stop a significant portion of cats from leaving anyway, a whole underground operation, stealing a horrendous amount of resources and technologically setting the rest of us back by decades. It was bad, really bad, there was so much spite, so much environmental warfare- the little guys couldn’t fight the rest of the population physically, but they could poison the land, doing everything that could be done to prove the cats who thought everyone ought to stay were wrong. That’s the long and short of it at least. I don’t honestly know all the details. I’m not the right person to ask about history.”

“So all of the- for lack of a better word- to-be-domesticated cats just left? How would a species-wide exodus like that even be possible?”

“Oh, no, not all of them. Not even half- that was one of the issues. It just wasn’t even close to feasible to get everyone off the planet in the first place. I feel bad for the little ones that got left behind.. Not all of them even wanted to go, but they still faced the social punishment for it. It’s still a problem now. None of them are allowed to go to space anymore all these centuries later, not that they’re suited for hunting like we do now, but..”

“Cat racism.” Cub mumbled, astute.

Scar shrugged, “Yeah, guess so. Though they’re still much better off than being an Earth cat, for goodness’ sake, look how they ended up! How did that even happen! I’d rather die than be a human pet. Then be anyone’s pet.”

“I think Scar is cat-racist,” Cleo hummed, and Cub nodded, Scar bristling in turn.

The humans continued to be annoying. And also they never stopped staring at him.

They were weird about other things as well. They were so weird about clothes, it wasn’t like Scar had any change of clothes like they did, why was it so odd that he took his off? He had to wash them- he had to wash himself! Was this the only way to get them to stop staring?

Maybe it was because he was from another planet. They didn’t seem to have a problem changing in front of each other, though they never lingered undressed, and washed privately. It was so odd. No wonder they had nothing to do when they were talking to each other. They were dirty too, they stank, they could do with a proper groom (Cub especially, something was wrong with that one). Or maybe that’s just how humans smelled. Unclear.

Though maybe it was just recent events that were making Scar restless, desperate for that physical affection, to be affectionate, to care for someone else, to nurture- he’d never even thought about being a father before now, but all of a sudden he wanted nothing more than to just take care of someone, a little one, someone who hadn’t yet seen the world and the horrors it might bring upon them.

These impulses were about to become the humans’ problem. They acted enough like kittens anyway, and it was much easier to dismiss the squabbling if they were kids, troubled and alone, things to be cared for. Much easier to forget past violence. To feel needed.

Cub’s hair was particularly greasy, but he did all but shoot Scar when he tried to take care of it. Cub’s hair was long, but not ridiculous like Cleo’s, it was totally manageable! Scar tried very hard, very very hard, but after being battered in the face so violently that his nose bled, he gave up.

On that attempt.

Cub was in desperate need of help! Scar saw the dandruff, he knew very well Cub needed this!

So he waited. He waited until Cub was asleep. He and Cleo turned the lights out at the same time every day, but the hours were different from Scar’s days, so he wasn’t quite used to it, and honestly, in his (human) month alone, he’d never turned the lights off. He hadn’t known how.

But apparently Cub and Cleo were trying to preserve what remained of their circadian rhythms. Fine by Scar. It meant they typically went to bed at predictable times. Scar waited a couple hours after Cub had fallen asleep, just to be safe. He didn’t know what a couple hours really meant, but it felt like a long time had passed, and no one stirred when he stalked over to Cub’s bedside, so…

Scar slunk up the side of the headboard to perch on top, staring at Cub beneath him. Sleeping face down. Certified fucking freak for that, but a good position for Scar. Carefully, he set his front paws on either side of Cub’s pillow so as not to disturb him.

Slowly, he leaned forward, midpaws scraping quietly against the headboard in his effort to keep himself upright.

“Scar.” Cub’s voice was muffled, but clear. How did he even know Scar was there??? He’d been so quiet! “Don’t.”

“You need help.” Scar whispered, but Cleo snickered from their own bed, and Scar was starting to wonder if either of them had fallen asleep in the first place.

“I am not allowing you to lick my psoriasis rash. That is disgusting. Nor will it help me. It goes away on its own.”

“But the flecks. Your hair.”

“Scar. I am not going to say it again.”

“Cub.”

Cub grunted, sitting up on his forearms, head inches from Scar’s face. He looked unhappy, though maybe that was just Cub without glasses, he looked so odd without them! The squinting in the dark didn’t help. Humans didn’t see as well as cats did- wait, since when did Cub have a gun?

“I see.” Scar mumbled, unmoving still.

“Do you?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“Great. Well you lost my trust. Goodnight, Scar.”

Somehow, Scar did not expect Cub to just shoot him right then and there. And a good shot it was as well, so instant a death that Scar definitely wouldn’t remember it, but he’d probably puzzle it out after waking up in the next loop. Unfortunately, Cub failed to consider how blowing Scar’s brains out would affect his sleeping situation, which is to say, both him and his bed being coated in viscera.

After a great deal of effort and grief and cleaning himself up, he was allowed in Cleo’s bed for the night.

#timeloopprisonau #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fic #hermitfic #cubfan135 #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #grian #zombiecleo #impulsesv

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 6 months ago

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Sundrop! Hi, I've always been a quiet reader (not because I don't think offering comments and engagement is important, but because I usually wait until I have something articulate and meaningful to say which can usually take me multiple reads) but I just wanna say I'm literally so sorry that people are critiquing your work. Posting your writing anywhere is a kindness, it's a contribution, and unfortunately, it's really brave. I say unfortunately because you shouldn't have to be brave to engage in what you love, you should be able to share it freely without expecting people to crawl put of the woodwork to tell you all the things they think you did "wrong" like it's their duty to give their opinion like it's fact. Convenient that the parts that aren't to their personal taste are the parts they comment on, it's like they get the message but pay no attention to how it was sent and let their biases take them from there. What about all of the effort that went into the presentation, the carefully selected prose, the references, the way every fic can come across as a love letter if you just think about it the right way? Everything that's missed or misconstrued in the interpretation?

There are some readers out there who can't stand their 'stand in' being flawed or human in any way, down to the smallest of traits or actions. What that really tells me is that they just don't like it when an MC has any discernable personality. I think these people need to start comprehending that relationships are literally just two people deciding to reside in eachothers orbits and be in eachothers space and generally put up with eachother, and making that choice every day. Sorry if that sounds incomprehensible, what I'm trying to say is that nobody, least of all their precious uwu blorbo is being victimised by having to put up with some snark. News flash: these stories only work because Main Pairing Guy is choosing to engage in the titular dynamic as well. They knowingly expose themselves to this 'problematic behaviour'. If you wouldn't 'put up with it personally' good for you. But this isn't real life and even in fiction not everybody thinks like you or just happens to abide by your personal boundaries. (I say guy because somehow I think that female pairings dont get this treatment nearly as much, maybe because the target audience is already marginalised and dont feel the need to marginalise themselves further with blown out of proportion critiques on literal personality traits).

Not being a timid demure little saintly woman figure does not make them malicious or even offensive, it makes them interesting. It makes the exchanges between characters more fun and fulfilling. I actually relate a lot to the way you write your reader characters– and that's because I'm not insecure enough to think that me being sarcastic or standoffish or understandably guarded by nature makes me a bad person, nor does it even make me particularly 'mean'. Anyone who finds issue with these portrayals maybe needs to do a little introspection on themselves and think about why they're taking it so personally that they feel the absolute need to speak up about it on a public forum.

Writing not being to your personal taste doesn't make it bad writing. It just means it's not for you. If you find yourself in that situation, acknowledge that and move on. It costs zero energy to not go around spreading negativity for no reason. You are not the target audience. 'She' was not written with your voice in mind, and that's perfectly okay. You don't have any say on what a content creator puts out, nor should you. It's the writers vision, not yours, be greatful they're willing to share it with you. Nobody is entitled to it. I'm not saying you have to enjoy it, just do the decent thing and keep it to yourself if you don't. 'Don't like, don't read' is such a simple concept.

I hope you continue to enjoy writing and that you don't take their negativity to heart or let it influence your enjoyment of what can be such a fulfilling and downright therapeutic hobby. I know it's hard to see when so many readers choose to stay silent, but they are the loud minority. A lack of engagement is a disappointing reality on pretty much every platform and it must be so disheartening for content creators. I'm doing my best to try and contribute more, even if its just anonymously for now, and I hope more people start speaking up with all the nice things they have to say instead. I'm sorry you had to put up with all my rambling, but I hope at least some of it was something somebody needs ro hear. Sending you good vibes and inspiration! ☆☆☆

Omg, okay. this is very long and I do have a lot to say about this

Well for one - I do appreciate quiet readers.

Something disheartening is when people leave a like on my work and don't comment or reblog - especially when there is a huge disconnect between the amount of likes and the amount of comments. Because when something has 1000s of likes and 2 comments, it's usually from a fandom that is very over saturated and popular, and it feels like people are saying: your work is just like any other, and there is nothing special about it or worth commenting on about your work. I have 100s of fics to choose from, and when I read yours, nothing stood out to me about your work as valuable or particularly entertaining, so I don't care to talk to you about it and I don't care if I lose it in my 1000s of liked posts because it's not that unique or that great. And some people use their liked fics as bookmarks, so seeing so many people leave likes and no comments, it's like "yeah, I saw the summary of your fic, I was interested, I liked it, but I didn't give a shit to come back to it and actually read it. other fics are more worthy of my time."

But if people are too shy to comment or they genuinely don't have anything to say (or if they're worried that they don't have anything thoughtful to say) - reblog it. Reblog it without a comment, and it makes an author feel 1000x times better than if you just leave a like. Especially if your reblog is tagged as 'TBR' or even just tagged with the character's name - it means I know you value my fic and don't want to lose it, whether you have read it already or not. It means I know you think my fic is worth sharing with other people. It means I know you're enthusiastic about my fic. So many other things.

Reblogging can be just as golden as a comment sometimes.

Also I always encourage shy people to comment while using anon.

Anyway - moving on.

Everything you are saying is so, so right. Sharing your art is brave, but I remember a time when people would consistently share fics of a much lower quality - which isn't a mockery, it's just me saying that fandom used to be much more casual, and making 'bad' art used to be widely accepted. Now, people are clearly terrified to make 'bad' art, so even if they make it, they don't share it.

It used to be that fandom was a space where you were joking around with your friends, passing notes in class and goofing off, and now people act like fandom is a fucking transaction. But now people act like fandom is a service where you can blatantly complain if there's stuff you don't like - as if fanfiction writers are the person behind the counter at the Burger King and you go up and order whatever you want, and if they don't give it to you, there is someone above them that you can complain to. (Also the people 'ordering' act like they have aboslutely no power to make a burger for themselves and they are gonna starve if they don't get it right now.)

And there is a huge percentage of people who say that writing fanfiction is 'too hard' so they just don't do it - when they don't realize that 90% of their favourite fics are written by people in their late 20s, 30s, and 40s who used to write the most terrible, cringey, self insert fics riddled with spelling errors and polyvore sets and random Japanese ANs (and people used to write these fics seriously) - all your favourite authors had growing pains.

Nobody starts off perfect. And no, writing fanfiction is not easy - but it's supposed to be a labor of love and passion and it's a skill that you're supposed to develop over time, which is why you do it.

The whole point of fanfiction is that it's fanmade. It's literally the number one 'do it yourself' hobby ever. And there are no fans who are more qualified to make fics than others. If you are a fan of something and you know any written language, you are qualified to make your own fanfiction.

But in this currently climate, people who don't write fics because it's 'too hard' feel entitled to fics written by people who have been practising for years.

Also I love what you have said here: "convenient that the parts that aren't to their personal taste are the parts they comment on"

There is such a recent negativity culture. People don't understand that thinks they don't like aren't for them - they think that everything should be for them, and aspects they don't like about it should be changed or weeded out to their liking. And in the vein of negativity culture, so many people take a strange kind of joy in being openly negative and being such a 'hater'. And it is just so strange to me.

Fandom is supposed to be a space where we come together in order to celebrate our love for something - so why would you bring such a negative attitude to those spaces? Why not participate in these spaces with enthusiasm and love - and if you find something that you don't like, why not just ignore it in favor of the things that you do love?

Especially when there are so many genuinely awful things out there in the world - why do you want to create more negativity in spaces that are supposed to be a fun mental escape? Why waste your energy focusing on things that annoy you, piss you off, make you angry - when fandom is supposed to be about focusing on things we love that bring us joy?

"There are some readers out there who can't stand their 'stand in' being flawed or human in any way, down to the smallest of traits or actions."

This is just true. And it's annoying.

Writing flawed characters - whether it's a reader character or a canon character - makes for something so much more interesting. And I don't understand why people seemingly want to read a story where the characters have no flaws and there is no conflict.

Not being a timid demure little saintly woman figure does not make them malicious or even offensive, it makes them interesting.

Again - thank you.

So many of my female reader characters have been accused of being 'mean' or 'bitchy' - as if that's the worst thing that a female character can be.

"I actually relate a lot to the way you write your reader characters– and that's because I'm not insecure enough to think that me being sarcastic or standoffish or understandably guarded by nature makes me a bad person, nor does it even make me particularly 'mean'."

Genuinely, thank you.

This means a lot to me.

I like it when people enjoy my reader characters because I always try to make their personalities engaging and I try to make them fun to ride with as the story is being told. Some people genuinely expect the reader character to be just like them. They expect the reader character to have no mentions of a backstory, an occupation, nothing. And what bothers me is that this falls into the trap of the reader character - usually female - being some jobless homebody housewife type that the canon character just comes home to. As if a woman's only value in a man's story is to be a sex object for him to come home and fuck.

Like if I had a dime for every single story that intros with the canon character man coming home to his anonymous wifie reader character and with 0 discussion of her life, her interests, her personality, they only discuss his life, his interests, his potential conflicts and then they start fucking. Yes, I get that it's to make the reader character more ambiguous, but it's so boring and it makes all fanfictions so generic with each other and it makes the woman feel like such an accessory to his life rather than feeling like her own person.

I always want the reader and the canon character to be active participants in the story. Because that makes it more interesting.

"Writing not being to your personal taste doesn't make it bad writing. It just means it's not for you. If you find yourself in that situation, acknowledge that and move on. It costs zero energy to not go around spreading negativity for no reason. You are not the target audience."

I just wanted to highlight this.

And thank you - I will continue writing for as long as I can. I hope to continue writing well into my 30s, 40s, etc. as long as my chronic illness allows me to be well enough in order to do so. I really don't want to let stuff like this get me down.

And honestly, I have been writing for so many years - it's my default. I don't think I can stop writing. I just hope that speaking out about stuff like this will make the environment kinder for myself and other writers.

Anyway - thank you so much for this lovely message <3 I really do appreciate it

#anonymous #sundrop answers #long post

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smalltownfae · 1 year ago

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The Chronicles of Prydain Overview

Numbers: 5 books + 1 short story collection

The Book of Three

The Black Cauldron

The Castle of Llyr

Taran Wanderer

The High King

The Foundling and Other Tales of Prydain

Why you should read it:

Similar to Lord of the Rings, but shorter and for younger audiences and it includes a brilliant main female character;

Inspired by Welsh mythology;

Traditional fantasy coming of age done brilliantly;

Acknowledges the importance of team work and asking for help;

Prophetic pig and the importance of being a “pig-keeper” (common person);

Cozy atmosphere and charming characters;

Beautiful and tender writing style with some great quotes;

Soft magic and lots of nature;

Really short books and quick to get through;

Pronunciation guide at the end of the book!

What is it about?

On the surface, it’s about a battle of good vs evil, but at it’s heart is about the understanding of human nature and the world around us. It’s a coming of age story about a boy that longs for adventure and finds out that there is nothing better than being with the people one loves and helping them. It’s about a boy trying to figure out who he is and what he values and finding out that the past doesn’t matter more than the possibility of the future. The side characters are also wonderful and fleshed out enough (the standout being Eilonwy, which is almost as important as Taran, the main character).

What I love about this series the most, besides the great journey towards knowing one’s self, is that it recognizes that great actions cannot be done alone and that there isn’t one single hero even if the story is focused on Taran. It recognizes the value of connecting with others and working as a team towards a common goal. In that way, it can get really emotional.

If you have watched the Disney animated movie and did not like it, fear not. Everyone seems to think it’s a bad adaptation that tries to combine the first two books in the series. I watched it once as a kid and it left no impression on me whatsoever. As always, the books are way better.

Fun fact: Taran Wanderer was written after the last book, The High King, which might explain why it feels more mature.

Quotes:

“A damp green scent filled the air. No bird called; no squirrel chattered. The forest seemed to be holding it’s breath.” (The Book of Three)

“Does it trully matter which one did what, since all shared the same goal and the same danger? Nothing we do is done entirely alone. There is a part of us in everyone else.” (The Book of Three)

“There is much to be known… and above all much to be loved, be in the turn of the seasons or the shape of a river pebble. Indeed, the more we find to love, the more we add to the measure of our hearts.” (The Black Cauldron)

“It is easy to judge evil unmixed. . . But, alas, in most of us good and bad are closely woven as the threads on a loom; greater wisdom than mine is needed for the judging.” (The Black Cauldron)

“There are those who have labored all their lives to gain the gift, striving until the end only to find themselves mistaken; and those who had it born in them yet never knew; those who lost heart too soon; and those who should never have begun at all. Count yourself lucky that you have understood this now and not spent your years in vain hope. This much have you learned, and no learning is wasted.” (Taran Wanderer)

#the chronicles of prydain #lloyd alexander #why you should read #the book of three #the black cauldron #the castle of llyr #taran wanderer #the high king #the foundling and other tales of prydain

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lavenderspence · 2 months ago

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(anon with the controversial opinions about spencelle, postprison!read, hotch and dating,.. again)

You’re actually so sweet for answering all my yapping!!

I didn’t even realize the low blow for the Aaron one, I‘m so sorry 😭, it might be my tism and not being able to be great at conveying what I mean without sounding mean if you get what I want to say?

anyways I completely agree with your take on writers can take a character and write them in the way they want! On the flip side I still believe there are more canon ways and more fanon ways to write a character, and writing a character ooc to fit a certain idea is ok! Like I know it‘s kind of one of the biggest compliments to get ,,oh you write xyz so in character“ but at the end of the day, as you said, writers should enjoy to write a character as they like!

I just have a slight problem with it if they kind of..complete overwrite certain traits? And not in a way where I send hate or whatever, just in a way of ok this irks me so I‘m either gonna block or simply scroll, while I do believe we should call out writers if they e.g write a lesbian character as a non-lesbian one or an autistic character as an allistic one if that makes sense!

Then again we should not reduce a character to only one of their traits, idk I just think there should be less..shame about not writing a character 100% canon but also on the other hand acknowledging that there is this fanon version

I probably make zero sense and maybe you won’t even get why it‘s so significant to me, it’s just when I‘m hyperfixating on a topic/character it‘s unreasonably frustrating to read about mischaracterization but again I keep it to myself or, like now, tell you about it as a controversial opinion!

But what really shocked me is you not shipping jemily!! Jail time!!! /j

Anyways I was yapping again and thank you actually for taking time out of your day to answer!!

hi babe! I'll forever and ever answer any and all yapping, so no need to thank me🤭💕

well, he is my husband, so it was in fact a low blow, but I'll forgive you this time 🙄 (you didn't sound mean, I promise, I'm just joking around it's all in good fun!)

I do think it's amazing when a writer makes the character seem like he's plucked straight out of the show/movie, by writing him to a complete T because it does allow the reader to feel even more connected to the fic itself.

I'm going to be completely honest here again, and I hope I don't catch any negativity, but as someone who really cannot read autistic traits, most of what's associated with spencer I take as full on personality traits for him without any association. I would actually love it if you shared a bit more about how you see his autistic traits portrayed, or maybe what specifically you associate with. I don't really know how he's been portrayed in my own writing thus far when it comes to those specific traits, I'd love to hear too, what youve noticed.

I think at times it depends a bit on the concept of the idea of the fic itself, if it would be well placed to touch on those traits (I do hope I'm making sense without sounding ignorant or something). like at times, a fic is so fast-paced or incredibly specific, you can't really touch or figure out where the mention of those traits fit.

I absolutely think both should meet in the middle, and there should be a level of understanding when it comes to, like you said, canon and fanon. I find it a little bit entitled at times when I see hate about it, when you take into consideration the amount of spencer fics out there, and how you can find something to satisfy your need/craving, and skip whatever you don't vibe with. I think there's a place for every idea, every fic, every person, and every opinion, but the main thing is to always be polite about it.

jemily...I'm sorry, I really don't see it. maybe in evolution, with the s17 scene, and in "200" when jj is being tortured, but not much else😭😭

and please don't worry about yapping, this blog is always a safe space to do so, or be controversial 🤭

#tina's controversial opinions #anon's controversial opinions #tina's mail 📬#🪻 anon

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beels-burger-babe · 3 years ago

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Double Vision

*This is completely self-indulgent as I officially have to wear glasses now and got my first pair today, but I figured to give you guys some content in between me being stuck on the two stupid drafts that I'm writing, I'd give you this I guess this is a series of shorts?? Either way, enjoy! -B*

Summary: It's the night before the first major test of the RAD school year, and MC has been holed up in their room all day. The brothers are concerned and go to check in on them, but they notice something different - MC is wearing glasses

CW: Asmo being Asmo. His bit is a little suggestive at times

LUCIFER

Although he'll never admit it, Lucifer was really concerned when you had disappeared for the entire day.

He was so used to hearing you laughing amongst his brothers, or pestering him in his office, or even just lounging in the living room that your absence had left him feeling like something was wrong.

Using the excuse of bringing you food to prevent you from starving, he comes to your room and knocks once before entering.

"MC, I know your studying, but do try not to forget that you...need..."

He's cut off mid-snark as he saw you staring back at him behind a pair of framed lenses.

His heart stuttered in his chest and Lucifer Morningstar is left speechless.

Your hair was a mess from the countless times you had run your hands through it. There were bags of exhaustion under your eyes, and there was a hand-shaped mark on your face from where you had been leaning into your palm.

But with those glasses, you looked studious and sharp.

If the eye-wear added this much to your beauty when you were clearly sleep-deprived as you were, he couldn't help but imagine how you might look dressed up in business wear with them.

"Lucifer?"

He snapped his head up, as you caught his focus one more, and noticed, with a frown, how you had removed your glasses.

"Did you come here for something?"

Lucifer walked over to your desk and set down the plate in front of you. "I was ensuring that you actually ate some food between all the reading you're doing." He picked up your glasses and casually inspected them (although mentally he was taking note of the style so that he could buy you more). "I was unaware that you wear glasses, MC."

You rolled your eyes and took a bite from the food in front of you. "That's because I don't need to wear them all the time. Just when I'm doing activities that can strain my eyes."

Lucifer hummed and looked closely at you. You rose an eyebrow at the demon, questioning his odd behaviour. Before you could say anything, he leaned forward and gently slid the frames onto your face.

You felt your cheeks heat up as his eyes remained locked on yours, and a sly smile graced his lips. "You should wear them more often," he whispered softly. "You look lovely in them."

MAMMON

Mammon sighed heavily as he sat upside down on his bed.

He was bored. You had locked yourself up in your room all day for that stupid test and had kicked him out since apparently he was "distracting" and "prevented you from getting any work down."

Well, fuck that! He wanted to spend time with you, damn it!

Mammon marched down the hall and banged on the door once before throwing open the door. "Yo human! Studyin' time is over! It's Mammon ti-...time..."

He trailed off for a moment as he noticed you glaring heatedly at him. However, it wasn't the glare that made him surprised. No. It was the fact that the glare was being filtered through a pair of glasses that he had never seen before on your face.

"When the fuck did you start wearin' glasses?!" He screeched and marched over to you, grabbing your cheeks to pull you closer and get a better look.

You let out a noise of frustration and swatted his hands away. "Mammon quit it! I'm trying to study!"

Surprisingly, he pulled back his hands, but he remained barely an inch away from you. "I didn't ask if you were studyin'! I asked about the glasses!"

You felt yourself blush and pulled your face away. "I've always had glasses. I just don't always wear them. That's all. Wh-Why does it matter?"

Mammon opened his mouth to give a retort, before snapping his jaw back shut. His face grew rapidly warm as he scratched the back of his neck. "I-I was just wonderin'! You've been down here for what? 3 months now? And I ain't ever seen you wear them."

You averted your eyes from the clearly flustered demon and nervously played with your hands. "Yeah, well, I didn't really want any of you to see me in them. I look pretty silly and-"

"What the fuck are you talkin' about? You're adorable!!" Mammon shouted before slapping a hand over his blushing face. The two of you stared at each other with wide eyes full of shock. "I-I mean, glasses are cool, ya know? I wear glasses all the time! And if the Great Mammon knows anythin', it's style! So, of course, you look cute- I mean good- I mean gorgeous- I-I mean GAH!" Mammon turned around and stormed out of the room.

A couple days later, you found a pair of tinted glasses, identical to the ones Mammon wears, in your prescription sitting by your door.

LEVIATHAN

Levi groaned as he looked at the books in front of him.

He wasn't the most studious of his brothers, and this test was draining the life out of him. He wanted nothing more than to curl up with you and watch anime, but because of this stupid test you were both holed up in your respective rooms studying.

Leviathan let out a huff as he laid his head on his desk and glanced over at his manga collection. His gaze paused on the side of a particular school manga with the two main characters studying on the cover.

Levi shot out of his seat in realization, "I can just go study with them!!!"

Levi quickly gathered all his textbooks and went straight to your room. He knocked on the door and nervously waited for you to answer.

As the door swung open, Levi's jaw dropped and his books went scattering across the floor.

Glasses. You were wearing glasses. Glasses that made your eyes look slightly bigger and just overall made you so freaking cute. Oh goodness. He didn't know that you could pull off the cool, studious type so well. You were just so cute!

"Oh shoot, Levi! Your books!" You bent down and quickly began to gather them for him. It was just like a scene from an anime!

"S-So kawaii," the otaku muttered, as he tried to hide his red face behind his arm.

The reddening got worse as you looked up at him and tilted your head. "What was that, Levi?"

He frantically waved his hands took his books back from you, "N-NOTHING! Just, um, I-I was wondering if we could study together? I'm not having much luck on my own, a-a-and you look smart, especially with your new glasses, which look amazing, and I-I thought maybe..."

You smiled softly at the otaku's mumbling and grabbed his hand. "Of course, Levi! I'd love to study with you!"

As you pulled him into your room to sit at your desk, Levi blushed and followed behind you, mentally thinking of the number of glasses-wearing cosplays he could get you to try.

SATAN

Satan took a sip of his tea as you sat down at the library table beside him.

Test season had always been a favourite of his for a number of reasons, but this year, those reasons could all be narrowed down to one big one: he got to spend more time alone with you.

It made him more grateful than ever that his brothers were morons and that he was the only dependable demon in the house that you could study with.

He had constructed an easy-to-follow study guide for the two of you that would guarantee both your success for this test. You'd get good grades and avoid Lucifer's wrath, and he'd get to spend time with you. It was a win-win.

He flipped through a textbook to find the subject of the test. "Alright. We should get started if we're going to stick to the plan. Now, how comfortable are you with..." he stopped short as he looked up and saw you staring at him with a pair of glasses on your face.

He blinked.

He had never seen you were glasses before. He couldn't help but think that now that he had, he never wanted to see you without them again. You look so stunning and elegant with them on. He absolutely loved it.

Of course, he couldn't just tell you that though.

Instead, Satan tilted his head and smirked. "You are aware that just because you're wearing glasses, it won't make you any smarter?"

You gasped in mock offence and lightly hit his arm as Satan laughed. "I'll have you know these are prescribed! I have to wear them when I'm doing any strenuous activities."

Satan flashed a roguish smile and went back to flipping through his book. "Pity. I'd rather like to see you wear them more often. You look wonderful," before you even got the chance to respond or acknowledge the light blush on his cheeks, Satan cleared his throat. "Now, on page 364, you'll see..."

ASMODEUS

Asmodeus hummed to himself as he walked towards your room with a basket full of facemasks and nail polish in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

You had been tucked away in your little room all day studying, and he just knew that you needed a break. That's where he came in of course, offering you all the love and self-care you could ever desire.

Asmodeus joyfully knocked on your door before slipping inside. "MC dear, I've come to free you from your..." he inhaled sharply at the sight before him.

You were laying on your stomach, kicking your legs behind you as you read whatever book you were studying from, dressed in an adorably oversized sweatshirt. That alone would've been enough to make him squeal.

But you were also wearing glasses.

Asmo shrieked as he jumped onto the bed with you and tackled you.

You let out a yelp as the two of you tumbled to the floor. "Wha- Asmo! Get off!"

Asmodeus giggled and sat up beside you. "Sorry, darling! I couldn't help it! You look so cute with your little glasses. AH! It's delightful," his eyes sparkled with intrigue and pleasure. "Sexy even," he purred as he leaned in close.

You chuckled and pushed Asmodeus away as you stood up. "I'm just studying. The glasses are so I can read without getting a headache."

The demon hummed as he walked back over to the door to regather his supplies. "Well, have you ever considered buying some for accessories? I have a pair or two that would look gorgeous on you. It'd be a shame if the only person who ever got to see how scrumptious you look with glasses was your books," he smirked knowingly as he turned around and saw you flustered.

Asmo grinned and held the basket and wine bottle. "Now enough with the studying. It's time for a break. So sit back and relax, and let me take care of you."

You raised an eyebrow at him, and damn that glare was more effective from behind a pair of lenses. "Asmo," you warned, causing the demon to shiver.

Asmo pouted and gestured to the basket. "Self-care of course. Gee, MC, why must you think such filthy things."

BEELZEBUB

Beel made his way towards your room with his arms full of snacks.

He was proud of you for taking your test so seriously and really putting in the work to do your best, but he was also worried. He had barely seen you come out of your room even once today, and that meant that you probably hadn't eaten enough.

Seeing as you were always carrying around snacks for him, he figured it was time that he returned the favour.

He frowned as he got to your door and realized that he had no hands to knock with. He tried rearranging the food in his arms but nearly dropped the entire load. Beel huffed and stared at the door for a couple seconds before leaning forward and butting it with his head several times.

He heard a groan and some shuffling on the other side before the door opened.

His eyes widened as you stood before him, yawning as you rubbed your eyes underneath your glasses - yes, glasses.

You were always small in comparison to Beel, but now with the glasses, there was something about it that made you look even more delicate.

"Cute," Beel said as he looked down at you.

Your face instantly flushed as you blinked up at him. "H-Huh?"

Beel smiled softly and felt his fingers twitch with the urge to ruffle your hair. "Your glasses. They look very cute," he explained honestly.

You squeaked and quickly took them off, too embarrassed by Beel's forward compliment. "Th-Thanks Beel. They're um, they're just for studying."

The urge to ruffle your hair, or pat your shoulder, or even simply touch you grew stronger, but Beel's hands were still full. So, much like with the door, Beelzebub thought of an alternative.

He leaned down and gently kissed the top of your head. His warm gaze met yours as he gently whispered, "You always look pretty, but with them on, you look even prettier," and then, as though he hadn't just stolen your heart, he grinned and held out the food. "I brought snacks."

BELPHEGOR

Belphie had been wandering around the house late at night in yet another round of restlessness.

He had just walked past your door when he noticed your bedroom light was still on. Belphegor tsked and began making his way over. It was bad enough that he wasn't getting any sleep. He didn't need you picking up on his awful sleep habits just because of some boring test.

Without bothering to knock, Belphie opened your bedroom door. He opened his mouth to tease you but found his words catching in his throat.

You weren't awake after all.

You were passed out on your desk, face smooshed up against an open book with a pair of glasses sitting uncomfortably askew on your nose.

Belphie felt his cold heart melt at the sight.

He let out a deep chuckle and walked over to you. He carefully removed the glasses from your face and snorted at the red lines that had been left in their wake. He pressed gentle kisses to the marks before scooping you up in his arms and carrying you over to your bed.

"Silly MC," he whispered as he draped your blankets over you. "Everyone knows that you're not supposed to sleep with glasses on," he smiled tenderly at your sleeping form as he brushed a few hairs from your forehead. "No matter how cute they may make you."

*And that's that! I hope you enjoyed this cute little thing I just threw together! Sorry I haven't been able to write as much lately. School and work have just been insane and I honestly don't think the workload is gonna get any lighter. Thank you for your patience and your support!*

TAGLIST:

@thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @victoirey @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @poly-bi-mf @armycandy10 @burrixino @rulaien @pumpkins-mainside-blog @acousticpen @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff @itskrispy @10paradox10

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suncakie · 2 years ago

Text

—Dandelions| Kaedehara Kazuha x gn!reader

photo credits. pls let me know!

song prompt. "cause i see forever in your eyes, i feel okay when I see you smile" —Dandelions

masterlist. main masterlist

warnings. Kazuha is ooc, angst if you squint, mild fluff, mentions of character death, not proof read, cringe?

notes. pls the first ever fanfic i laid on this community is angst, also Kazuha is probably ooc bc i never intended to write for him and just wanted a character for this plot.

enjoy!

He should find a better way to cope.

KAZUHA thinks as he walks towards every corner in the room, the boy has lost count many days it has been since he has set foot outside of this abode, eyes lingering on every corner of the house forcing himself to do whatever he can- anything to distract himself from the harsh reality this world has set upon him.

"Kazuha"

A peaceful voice- your voice snapped him out of his trance, there you stood in all your glory, a worried expression laid upon your features, i mean who wouldn't. The boy looked sluggish, his hair unkept and clothes drenched in sweat- the only thing keeping him sane as he is is the amount of chores he forced himself to think is unfinished.

He hasn't even made a single haiku the past days.

You walked towards him, a brush at hand as you guided the poor soul to the nearest chair you could sit him on. It wasn't much of help but either way you were glad he welcomed the feeling of your fingers treading on his locks, he wouldn't admitted it out loud but it was a calming experience, a very welcome one.

"I missed this" he sighed as he starred up at you lovingly, eyes locking momentarily, a face of admiration and thankfulness on his features,you snorted at this, eyes shining with mischievousness.

He knew an insult or a teasing remark will follow suit, but he cant help but focus on just your eyes, a shining, sparkling adventure awaits in them, an adventure he can't help but wait to explore.

However, he might of waited for too long.

"you literally go out and about the whole time, I can't even join you cause who is taking care of this damn heritage" you rambled on about, Kazuha couldn't help but giggle at your small rant, you scoffing at his lack of inquiry to the topic.

"I told you to take a break...how about we go explore dragonspine? Just the two of us?" He softly suggested, yes it might be dangerous for you with the sheer cold and possible camps around the area but he trusts you enough that you can take care of yourself, besides he will be always be right behind your back.

You sat infront of the boy now as you gleamed at him, smile wider than the vast of skies, eyes shimmering bright outcasting the scorching sun, he starred at you like a dear in headlights before a small smile made its way to his features, the rest of the pent up strees he has been feeling for the past few days subsided by it.

"Really?! Ah im so excited!" You celebrated happily, your figure leaving the room to start getting ready for your little adventure, leaving the canadian looking boy back on his own impulsive thoughts.

He sighed for the nth time of that day, double checking for any mess littered around the small house before making his way through the door, not forgetting to announce his departure and whereabouts like he always did, closing the the door without waiting for a sign of acknowledgement.

Your dead anyway.

@suncakie 2022. do not repost!

#suncakie #genshin angst #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fluff #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha #kazuha fluff #kazuha angst #kazuha x reader #x reader #kaedehara x reader

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channiebbang · 4 years ago

Text

just listen, trust me.

synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should've trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol

characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.

pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter

genre: angst angst angst and fluff

word count: 7k (fucking hell it's THAT long?) sorry lmao

warnings: none

author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn't come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn't write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol 💛💛

the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.

she's being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don't you think?

he's warming up too much to her.

watch out, you wouldn't want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.

and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn't said something.

"jaem," jeno's voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn't let what he was going to say out of the circle.

"yeah," jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.

as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn't know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.

"listen," jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, "i.. people are saying some stuff and i-," he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, "i thought i should let you know. i don't think they are true at all! but... one can never be too sure, right?" he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin's. the latter's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.

"in case it's wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways," jeno's hand scratched his neck in nervousness.

"just fucking say it, oh my god," chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.

"i swear to god, if you say something like a joke," haechan warned, mark snorting.

"i'm serious, just," jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.

"just tell me, jeno," jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.

"y/n is cheating on you."

and jaemin's world fell apart.

everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?

silence. total silence followed as jaemin's smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.

he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it's the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never... right?

"what the fuck are you talking about?" it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin's eyes to the eldest.

"y/n could never, she's not like that," renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.

"jeno, are you sure about this?" haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.

"that's what i said. i heard this from someone who's reliable, i can't say who, though."

jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone's attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.

"i'll handle this, don't worry."

that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin's eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno's confirmation. jaemin's tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.

"jaemin," it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.

"she would never do that." was all he said.

the ding of his phone's notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n's number and pressed the phone to his ear.

"hello? jaem?" she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.

"hey, where are you?" he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.

"i'm at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae," she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?

"when will you be done? i need to talk to you," he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?

"jaem?" wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.

"it's urgent," he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.

how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?

with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.

as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn't he?

could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children's movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.

it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.

the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin's hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.

y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?

"hi, handsome," she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn't do it. he couldn't pretend everything was okay.

as y/n didn't feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.

"jaem?" she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n's brows furrowed in confusion.

"let's go," he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.

the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.

"jaem?" she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.

"is something wrong?" she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.

she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.

"i'm driving," came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.

"if something is wrong please tell me, i'll help you," she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.

a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend's apartment floor. all in silence.

jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.

"oh! didn't know you were coming over, want some?" he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.

"i ate, but thank you," she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.

y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.

"hey," he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.

she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.

"jaemin?" she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.

"do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.

"did i forget anything?" she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.

"you have nothing to tell me?" he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.

"okay, let me ask you this," he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.

"what is kyunhae to you?" at the new question y/n's brows furrowed even more.

"jaem what are you reaching at?" she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin's eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.

"answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?" he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.

"jaemin, chill," he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn't how he thought jaemin would handle things.

"why can't she just answer?!" jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.

"he's just a friend! that's all! why are you asking me that!" she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn't know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn't stupid.

she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin's ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that's why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.

"then why the fuck do i hear different things?" he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.

"i swear jaem," her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, "none of it is true, i swear," she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.

"you're lying," he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, "you've been lying for who knows how long," he muttered and y/n's brows furrowed, offended.

"i have never lied to you," she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, "jaem, let's talk about it in your room, okay? let's solve this," she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.

"no," he shook his head, "we're gonna do it here, so you can't lie to me anymore," his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n's eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.

"jaem what has gotten into you?" she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, "please, i don't want to lose you, let's calm down and talk about this," she pleaded again.

"if you didn't want to lose me you should've thought about it before you cheated on me!"

y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.

"what's going on?"

mark's head snapped towards renjun and haechan's figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.

mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.

she didn't look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.

"i did nothing of the sort, jaemin," her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.

"jaem," haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n's view, "that's enough, calm down," he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.

"no, i need to know why," he insisted, "why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?" he asked again.

"i didn't do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!" she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.

"and you're still fucking lying to me!" he raised his voice again in exasperation.

"i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?" her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.

"exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!" he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.

"jaem, you're not listening to me, please, just listen to me," she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, "i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me."

but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.

"what if it's someone close to me that told me," he scoffed stepping away.

"jaemin don't," renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin's eyes.

"just go home y/n," jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.

"yah, you're exaggerating," mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.

"then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could've done that when you met me, why this whole thing?" she asked quietly. she didn't know what she felt, she didn't know who this person in front of her even was.

she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must've played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn't lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn't she? she could get hurt too, right?

when jaemin didn't answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn't he believe her? why didn't he just ask her?

"y/n wait-" haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.

"fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?" renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.

mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.

"y/n," mark took a hold of her elbow, "wait for a second, you can't leave alone. it's late, I'll take you home, hmm?" he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.

"thank you, but i need to be alone," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark's eyes softened.

"let me call you an uber, at least?" he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.

"I'll be okay," she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.

"oh, y/n..?" jeno's voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.

she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.

"fuck, y/n, I'm so sorry- i didn't know-" jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.

"it's okay," she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.

jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.

"hyung, you gotta see this," chenle shoved his phone into jaemin's face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.

"jaem," jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, "i'm so sorry," he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle's phone.

under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words "SHE SAID YES" and the small line underneath "thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable" were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.

so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn't quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.

she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.

kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.

he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would've made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.

y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, "i knew something wasn't right, i could feel it." and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.

jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.

he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys' phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply "tell jaem i don't want to speak." he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.

so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn't know but he had a hunch.

"jaemin," a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.

"hey, i hope i didn't mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are," jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n's sake. he grasped jaemin's hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.

"you technically did," he sighed, jaemin's brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, "mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel," kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee's eyes stayed put on jaemin's wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.

"what the hell are you guys doing?" kyunhee sighed then. jaemin's eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.

"i-i'm very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am," jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.

"why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?" kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.

"she doesn't want to talk to me," jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin's attention again.

"yeah no shit she doesn't," the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.

"you acted like a total dick to her, i don't even know how she hasn't blocked you yet," kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former's eyes softened for a second at jaemin's obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.

"oi, dickhead," he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.

"oi! what was that for?" he called.

"i won't tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that's not going to work," kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.

"give her time, jaemin, she's hurt," he continued.

jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend's friend, he offered a small smile.

"thank you, really," jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, "for holding her up, i know it should've been me but i'm glad she has a friend like you, i'm really sorry again."

"it's okay, don't worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you're begging on your knees for her forgiveness," kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.

"congratulations on your engagement, by the way," jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee's arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.

"uhhh why are you looking at me like that?" the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.

"you know what? why don't you..."

"the place looks so pretty!" y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, "you did a great job, love," she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.

"thank you, mom," y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom's as they made their way through the crowd.

the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.

her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.

"let's go say hi to kyunhee," she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.

it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.

at first y/n didn't pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn't change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.

so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.

as soon as their eyes met y/n's head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.

jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.

"jaemin dear?" y/n's mother's eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.

"how long it has been, love, how are you?" she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.

"too long, sorry i couldn't come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back," he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n's eyes stung a bit as she blinked.

"ahh you study so well, but don't neglect your health," she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn't expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.

"make things right, love, fight for each other," and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.

jaemin's eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.

she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.

"why are you following me," at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.

"i wanted some prosecco," he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.

"y/n," jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, "i'm very sorry," he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.

"i don't want to talk about it, jaem," she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin's hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.

"slow, you're gonna get dizzy," he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.

there were a few things that put jaemin's worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn't push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.

"you're beautiful," he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin's eyes held an intimacy she couldn't hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.

they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin's eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.

"what are you two doing?" y/n's mother's voice made the couple's head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother's friends followed her.

"who's this, y/n?" one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.

"oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he's my daughter's boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met," she gushed, and y/n's panic stricken eyes met jaemin's smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.

"oh my, he's so gorgeous! you're absolutely stunning, dear!" one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.

"well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!" y/n's mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.

y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.

y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.

a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n's hands in jaemin's as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.

jaemin's eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn't want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.

"y/n," he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, "look at me," he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.

"i'm sorry," he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn't know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can't say it's okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?

people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it's okay. but, to y/n it wasn't okay, it couldn't be okay. she didn't know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn't say it's okay.

she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn't ignore how much she actually loved him.

not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn't dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn't know how she could ever explain that.

because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can't pin point what exactly you love, you can't pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can't bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that's not why you love them, and you can't say personality because as much as that's the closest thing as to why you love them, it's not quite there yet.

you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it's just them entirely. it's their ability to smile when they're hurting, it's the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can't explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you'll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it's so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that's all that you're able to say.

so y/n stared at jaemin's eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.

jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.

"you hurt me," she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.

"i know, i'm so sorry, really, i'm so sorry, princess," he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.

"i felt like i lost everything," she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, "everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-" her voice choked, "-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn't even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone," she continued, and jaemin's eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.

he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.

"i'm so sorry i made you feel like that. i'm an absolute asshole,-" "yes you are," he chuckled as she interrupted him, "i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies."

his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.

"make it up to me and maybe i will," she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n's eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.

"deal," he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, "i'm surprised you didn't cry, you crybaby," he teased and she mutter a fuck you.

"why would i cry," she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.

after a beat of silence, "i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you're about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works."

and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.

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natsbaby · 3 years ago

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Whoops..

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Dumbass!Reader

Summary: Tony finally lets you join a simple mission with your [secret] girlfriend but honestly, what could go wrong?

Warnings: drinking, men wolf whistling and cheering for Nat, fire building

A/N: got this idea from a convo I had with @nuggiesyum so this is for you! HAHA this is so unedited that i dont even know how many words this is but i hope you like it!

“Dad come on! Im ready!” You whine as you follow Tony into a conference room where the rest of the Avengers are waiting.

“You’re not ready yet and America’s Ass hasn’t cleared you yet” he argues back, smirking at some snickers and chuckles from the rest of the team.

“What’s wrong? Is this about Y/N’s training?” Nat asks curiously as you sit on a chair besides her, huffing in annoyance.

“She wants to go on the info recovery mission but she’s not ready yet” Tony explains while pulling up the files from that mission.

“Come on Tony, Y/N/N’s been training all her life and you should give her a shot” Wanda shrugs as she leans back onto her chair, intertwining her fingers with Vision who’s sitting besides her on her left. You look at the witch gratefully, then turn to your father with a glare.

“I agree, I think Y/N’s ready for the info recovery mission” Steve says, letting out a grunt as you tackle him causing the both of you to fall onto the ground making everyone laugh.

“Thank you Stevie!!” You grin widely at the 100 year old fossil making him chuckle, patting your back gently.

You’ve always seen him as an older brother figure ever since Tony introduced you to the team when you were 11. Now as a dashing 23 year old woman who’s been training with the boys ever since Tony adopted you, all you want to do is join in on the fun with missions and maybe world saving. Since you’re adopted, your brain isn’t as smart as Tony but you’ve come reasonably close as someone who isn’t blood related. Your specialties include electrical and software engineering, weapon shooting and a little background on medicine to take care of your ex-assassin girlfriend.

Despite being intellectually smart, Tony’s main reason of not letting you join in on missions is because of how unreasonably clumsy and careless you are, or would say “your book intellect never matches your street intellect”.

He would argue that there isn’t a day when something goes wrong because of your carelessness or clumsiness. Though he does acknowledge your skills and talents so that’s why he just gives you a sigh, writing your name onto the mission report. You gasp as he writes your name, however cuts you off the moment you open your mouth.

“BUT!” You let out a sad ‘oh’ knowing where this is leading. “You’re not going alone, can you make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid Romanoff?”

You try your genuine hardest to stop the grin from forming on your face as you get off Steve, your girlfriend smirking a little. “Of course Stark, I’ll make sure your princess is coming home safe and sound”

You sit down besides her again, smiling at her a little as she returns the smile back. No one, except for Wanda, knows about your relationship. You do intend on telling at least Tony eventually but since you two just started dating half a year ago, you didn’t see the use just yet. You told Nat however that if you both agree that your relationship is going somewhere, that’s when you plan to tell Tony in which she agrees with your compromise.

As the meeting officially starts, you can’t help but start to get excited for what’s about to come. The meeting is just about plotting different missions for the month and seeing who’ll do which. As Steve and Tony starts talking about your mission, you can’t help but cock your head a little at the description.

“Who’s gonna sing?” You ask, seeing that one of the character descriptions for the info recovery mission is about a singer who performs in a Singer Night Club. You see Nat who’s trying to cover her smirk besides you, making you stare at her for a bit as you try to connect the dots. Once you do after a few seconds, you gasp loudly making Nat laugh and mutter ‘there you go’ under her breath.

“No way”

“You didn’t know? You’ve known me for years detka” she teases you, making Tony chuckle.

“Seems like the little princess forgot our Russian ex-assassin is a woman of many talents” Tony smirks, making your jaw drop at your revelation.

“Oh this would be so much fun”

You’re currently in the bar, taking a sip of your margarita as you scan the audience in front of you. Based on the mission description, the night club is pattered to the 20s and everyone from the workers to the actual audience would dress up like the people in that era. Your job is to make sure the night club isn’t a facade to whatever sketchy things could happen. Tony kept telling you and Nat to make sure no one engages if there is any kind of mafia activity, but who is he kidding honestly this is you.

You’re currently dressed in a gorgeous floral and baby pink button down blouse, tucked in a mid shin length dark blue skirt with a little black belt, hat, and kitten heels to match. You also came in with a long and black trench coat that’s currently draped over your shoulders, accessorized to the nines with your silver but simple bracelet, diamond earrings and rings. You fiddle with the necklace Nat gave you around your neck as you take off your trench coat to drape over your arm as the crowd starts to form.

“You ready?” You mutter softly as you adjust the little hat on the top of your head, hearing a soft ‘yea’ from Nat through your coms. You smile a little as you find a table, sitting down on the seat when the curtains open to see Nat on stage. Your eyes widen as the patrons cheers and wold whistles their hearts out, getting louder as the piano starts to play “You Dont Own Me” by Lesley Gore.

Nat’s dressed in a silver sequence deep v dress with a matching little hat, sparkling and shining on stage as she starts to sing. Your jaw drops as she sings, making you forget what you’re doing in the first place. You watch her with a love sick expression as you watch your girlfriend sing the sexiest song you’ve ever heard, making you lean forward a bit resting your elbows on the table, allowing you to rest your chin on the palms of your hands.

What you didn’t notice is Nat’s cues on where she sees the person you’re after. She didn’t hear anything from the coms despite her cues, allowing her eyes to trail over the audience to see you basically floating in cloud mine with heart eyes. She tries not to break out of character as she walks down the stage, making the men go insane. She pretends to flirt and rile the men up as she makes her way towards you, kicking you on the leg discretely to get your attention back.

You jolt a little, blinking in shock as you see Nat right in front of you giving a knowing look as she turns counter-clock wise and walks back on stage as the song is about to finish. You turn your head little at the direction she turned to see the mafia boss standing up and leaving. You frantically gracefully get up, following the mafia boss to see what’s going on.

“I know I’m sorry!!” You whine as you follow your girlfriend to the quinjet post mission with the night club being up in flames behind you. You two barely made out of it alive after you followed the mafia boss who apparently bugged the place to be set on fire to cover their tracks. Luckily, everyone’s safe and sound, and were brought to the hospital to make sure they’re alright.

Nat however was not happy with what happened and is now looking at you with her eyes narrowed at you and arms crossed. “Things could have gone so much worse if you were just paying attention you know”

“Yea but look everyone’s safe and no one told us it would have been bugged!” You explain, pouting at your girlfriend as you walk up to her, standing in front of her.

“You shouldn’t zone out like that in a middle of a mission Y/N, so many things could have gone south so quickly” your girlfriend sighs, knowing she can’t stay mad at you forever. She wraps her arms around your waist, bringing you into her arms as she hugs you, your face nuzzled into her neck.

“I know Natty, I’m sorry” you mumble as you wrap your arms around her for a hug. You feel her hands rubbing your back up and down, soothing you a little.

Nat pulls back a little, holding you by the shoulders so she could look at you. “What happened back there?”

“You were so hot and pretty and I love you” you mumbled softly, pouting a little as your girlfriend laughs. “Not funny!”

“I know, I know I’m sorry” she laughs as she cups your cheek gently, rubbing your cheek affectionately with the pad of her thumb.

“You looked like a love sick puppy back there” she smiles teasingly making you grunt in response.

“You’re hot. It’s not my fault.”

“I know baby”

“Will you tell dad about what happened?”

“Everyone in the compound already knows”

“Whoops..”

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romonova #natasha romanov x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x stark!reader #natasha romanoff x stark!reader

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earlgreytea68 · 4 years ago

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Heyyyyyy, I bet you were DYING to know stuff about that Google v. Oracle decision, huh?

You may have heard recently about a big deal Supreme Court decision called Google v. Oracle, a litigation that has dragged on for many, many, many years and focuses on Google having copied some pieces of computer programming owned by Oracle and known as APIs. Most of the write-ups I’ve seen about it have focused on its enormous repercussions for the technology sector, which makes sense since it’s a case about computer programming and APIs and other tech-y things.

But the thing about the decision is that it’s a fair use decision. The Supreme Court could have found that the APIs weren’t even protected by copyright. But instead, the Supreme Court used the doctrine of fair use, and this means that the case potentially has ramifications for all fair use situations, including fanfiction!

So, if you don’t know, fair use is a main defense to copyright infringement. Basically, you can use somebody else’s copyrighted work without their permission as long as what you’re doing with it is considered a “fair use.” E.g., you can write a story in somebody else’s fictional universe or draw art of somebody else’s fictional copyrighted characters without their permission as long as your use is a “fair use.”

“What’s a fair use?” is an incredibly complicated question. The long and tortured history of Google v. Oracle illustrates this: a jury found Google’s use was a fair use; an appellate court found that it wasn’t and basically said the jury was wrong; and now the Supreme Court says no, no, the jury was right and the appellate court was wrong. Like, this is not unusual, fair case rulings are historically full of disagreements over the same set of facts. All of the cases reiterate over and over that it’s a question that can’t really be simplified: every fair use depends on the particular circumstances of that use. So, in a way, Google v. Oracle, like every fair use case, is a very specific story about a very specific situation where Google used very specific APIs in a very specific way.

However, while every fair use case is always its own special thing, they all always debate the same four fair use factors (these are written into the law itself as being the bare minimum of what should be considered), and especially what’s known as the first and fourth factors. The first factor is formally “the purpose and character of the alleged fair use,” although over the decades of fair use jurisprudence this has come to be shorthanded as “transformativeness,” and the fourth factor is “effect on the market.”

Most of the energy and verve of a fair use case is usually in the transformativeness analysis; the more transformative your use is, the more likely it is to be fair (this is why AO3’s parent organization is called the Organization for *Transformative* Works – “transformative” is a term of art in copyright law). To “transform” a work, btw, for purposes of copyright fair use doesn’t necessarily mean that you have edited the work somehow; you can copy a work verbatim and still be found transformative if you have added some new commentary to it by placing it in a new context (Google Image Search thumbnails, while being exact reproductions of the image in question, have been found to be fair use because they’re recontextualizing the images for the different purpose of search results). The point is, transformativeness is, like fair use itself, built to be flexible.

Why? Because the purpose of copyright is to promote creativity, and sometimes we promote creativity by giving people a copyright, but sometimes giving someone a copyright that would block someone else’s use is the opposite of promoting creativity; that’s why we need fair use, for THAT, for when letting the copyright holder block the use would cause more harm to the general creative progress than good. Google v. Oracle recommits U.S. copyright to the idea that all this is not about protecting the profits of the copyright monopolist; we need to make sure that copyright functions to keep our society full of as much creativity as possible. Google copied Oracle’s APIs to make new things: create new products, better smartphones, a platform for other programmers to jump in and give us even more new functionality. The APIs themselves were created used preexisting stuff in the first place, so it’s not like anyone was working in a vacuum with a wholly original work. And, in fact, executives had thought that, the more people they could get using the programming, the better off they would be.

Which brings us to the fourth fair use factor, effect on the market (meaning the copyright holder’s market and ability to reap profits from the original work). There’s a lot of tech stuff going on in this part of the opinion but one of the points I find interesting from that discussion is that the court thought that Google’s use of the APIs was not a market substitute for the original programming, meaning that Google used the APIs “on very different devices,” an entirely new mobile platform that was “a very different type of product.”

But also. What I find most interesting in this part is the court’s explicit acknowledgment that sometimes things are good because they are superior, and sometimes things are good because people “are just used to it. They have already learned how to work with it.” Now, this obviously has special resonance in the tech industry (is your smartphone good because it’s the best it could be, or because you’re just really used to the way it’s set up?), but there’s also something interesting being said here about how not all of the value of a copyrighted work belongs *to the copyright holder* but comes *from consumers.* Forgive the long quote but I think the Court’s words are important here:

“This source of Android’s profitability has much to do with third parties’ (say, programmers’) investment in Sun Java programs. It has correspondingly less to do with Sun’s investment in creating the Sun Java API. . . . [G]iven programmers’ investment in learning the Sun Java API, to allow enforcement of Oracle’s copyright here would risk harm to the public. . . . [A]llowing enforcement here would make of the Sun Java API’s declaring code a lock limiting the future creativity of new programs. Oracle alone would hold the key. The result could well prove highly profitable to Oracle . . . . But those profits could well flow from creative improvements, new applications, and new uses developed by users who have learned to work with that interface. To that extent, the lock would interfere with, not further, copyright’s basic creativity objectives.”

This is picking up on reasoning in some older computer cases (like Lotus v. Borland, a First Circuit case from decades ago), but I think it’s so important we got this in a Supreme Court case: if WE bring some value to the copyrighted work through our investment in it, why should the copyright holder get to collect ALL the rewards by locking up further creativity involving that work? Which, incidentally, the Court explicitly notes is to the public detriment because more creativity is good for the public? This is such an important idea to the Supreme Court’s reasoning here that it’s the first part of the fair use test that it decides: that the value of the work at issue here “in significant part derives from the value that those who do not hold copyrights . . . invest of their own time and effort . . . .”

This case is, as we say in the law, distinguishable from fanfiction and fanart. APIs are different from television shows, and this case is very much a decision about technology and computer programming and smartphones and how old law gets applied to new things. Like, fair use is an old doctrine dating from the early nineteenth-century, and here we are figuring out how to apply it to the Android mobile phone platform. That, in and of itself, is pretty cool, and it’s rightly what most of the articles you’ll see out there about this case are focusing on.

But this case isn’t just a technology case; it’s also a fair use case that places itself in the lineage of all the fair use cases we look at when we think about what makes a use fair. And, to that end, this has some interesting things to say, about how much value consumers bring to copyrighted works and where a copyright holder’s rights might have to acknowledge that; about the fact that there are in fact limits to how much a copyright holder can control when it comes to holding the “lock” to future creativity building on what came before; about what part of the market a copyright holder is entitled to and what it isn’t. Think about the analogy you could make here: Given the investment of fans in learning canon, which is what makes the creative work valuable in the first place, allowing enforcement against fanfic or fanart would allow the canon creators to have a lock limiting future creativity, which would be highly profitable to the original creator (or, let’s be real, to Disney lol), but wouldn’t further copyright’s goals of promoting creativity because it would stifle all of that creativity instead. And just like Google with the APIs, what fandom is doing is not a market substitute for the original work: they’re “very different products.”

This is not to say, like, ANYTHING GOES NOW. Like I said, fanfic and fanart are very different from APIs. Fictional works get more protection than a functional work like the APIs at issue in this case. And there’s still a whole thing about commercial vs. non-commercial in fair use analysis which I didn’t really touch here (but which obviously has limits, since it’s not like Google isn’t making tons of money, and their use was a fair use). But this decision could kind of remind a big media world that maybe had forgotten that the copyright monopoly they enjoy is supposed to have the point of encouraging creativity; we grant a copyright because we think people won’t create without a financial incentive. (Tbh, there’s a lot of doubt that that is actually a true thing to believe, given all the free fic and art that gets produced daily, but anyway, it’s what the law decided several centuries ago before the internet was a thing.) Copyright is a balance, between those who hold the copyright and the rest of us, and the rest of us aren’t just passive consumers, we have creative powers of our own, and we might also want to do some cool things. And this case sees that. None of us are starting in a creative vacuum, after all; we’re all in this playground together.

#copyright #copyright law #legal #long post

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

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Vampire Play | Lee Jeno

▸ Jeno x reader ▸ Fluff, Angst, Smut, Vampire au ▸ HALLOWEEN SERIES: 127 HOUSE ▸ 2/5 for NEOHALLOWEEN writing festival hosted by @nct-writers

Summary: The division of upperclassmen vampires and the humans at school, is the only thing that’s stopping Lee Jeno from loving you entirely. Like how vampires hide in the shadows, your growing love for each other is needed to be kept hidden because Jeno’s family cannot be involved with a human such as you. The family name should stay pure and untouched.

Word count: 9k

Warnings: Discriminations between vampires and humans, blood, more blood, heavy vampire-human bullying, blood sucking, swearing, mentions of other idols, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, stalking, teenagers breaking the school rules, not a warning but Jaemin is a big character here. Mentions of coffin, period blood jokes, starving students

A/N: Pure fiction and inspired by some movies of course. Regarding Jaemin, idk tell me if I should make his story. He was the first one to have a human girlfriend so... Inspired by Vampire Academy, Slaughterhouse Rulez.

Taglist: I hope I didn’t miss anyone, if yes please do message me so I can apologize huhu @ovelha-colorida-v @huangxx @soondaengie @sunshinedhyuck @your-kpop-cafe @bumblebeenct @joyfuleggsfishbanana @floweringtheflowers @neosculptures

The sound of the school bell welcomes you to your new school as your parents drop you off and watch you reach their dreams. That’s right, theirs. This isn’t what you wanted, but thinking about how your parents worked so hard for you to have a great education is enough push to force yourself to study and like this place. It was their dream for you to go to an exclusive school such as 127 House. A place where the finest kind of vampires go to school, and a place where rich humans like you are given the opportunity to have the same education.

Sounds fun? It does, but the division between humans and vampires is taken seriously in 127 House. Actually, it’s not a division, it’s discrimination.

Yes, you go to the same school with the vampires but those bloodsuckers are treated royalty. Humans are not allowed to be friends with vampires, talking to vampires is strictly prohibited, fornicating with a vampire is a major offense, and having a relationship with a vampire can get you kicked out of the school. It says in the student handbook that they have all these rules and divisions to protect the royal bloodsuckers and to maintain peace and order inside the school.

“You’re going to do your best, right?” your mom asks, you see the headmaster waiting for you to say goodbye to your parents.

“I’m going to be fine, drive home safe, okay? See in you on Christmas” you hugged them and gather your things and walk towards the headmaster. The house is all white you noticed, even the door is white and you thought that the house will finally have some color once you enter the premises, but no. It’s still white and the place feels cold. White walls, white ceiling, no ray of sunshine, well that part is understandable. At least the interior is nice.

Before the assembly officially starts, you’re blessed to have a friend to at least warn you and tell you about the dos and don’ts in this school. Yeji, your nice roommate. Being a sophomore transferee is not easy, because no one does that. Literally, you’re a fresh meat, in a house where 50% of the population is vampires. You’re the only transferee and that makes you an automatic target to the bullies. High school.

You fixed your things and made your bed, you make sure to look presentable on your first day of school. Going to school in the evening is something new to you and you pray that you don’t sleep in one of your classes tonight. Given that it’s a vampire school, humans are required to adjust and follow the vampire time table. That means sleeping during day time and having classes in the middle of the night.

“Stop fidgeting, or the cold bloods and other humans will make fun of you” Yeji whispers while you two come down the stairs and head to the main hall. You scan your surroundings without turning your head too much and try to observe secretly. Not much happenings, for now, the only thing you found out is that human students are all dressed in black uniforms, all looking rich and righteous. Not your normal high school classmates.

As you enter the main hall, the vampires are not yet seated in their rightful place. Humans are all seated at the back and are not allowed to chatter loudly, and vampires are seated upfront with teachers and higher ups, they can do whatever they want. You have never seen a vampire up close, you just imagined them to look pale and lifeless, that’s all nothing special.

“Hey,” Yeji whispered so quietly, you barely heard her. “Once the vampires are here, don’t you dare look at them, no head-turning, wait for them to be seated” you nod your head as an acknowledgment of what Yeji said. Being a transferee is making you anxious already even around your own kind, now you’re curious what can a vampire’s presence do to you?

Soon, she nudges your elbow and told you to look down because they’re finally here. In the corner of your eye, you don’t see any of their reflection on the shiny and clean floor of 127 House, but you hear footsteps and low chatters, the air became cold like their bloods while they were walking on the aisle and that alone gave you goosebumps.

When it’s finally allowed to look upfront, curiosity is swallowing your mind. You didn’t listen to the one talking in front and you spend the entire time looking at their backs. All dressed in white with a small shade of light blue, pure like their families, even from behind they all look like gods who blessed the Earth with their presence. Each and every one of them, are very beautiful, if the men looked like gods, the ladies looked like angels without wings but with fangs.

One vampire definitely caught your eye. Blonde hair, skin as white as snow, sharp jawline, perfect nose, and dark almond eyes. You can’t stop looking at him and you can hear your heart beats faster than usual for no reason. “Lee Jeno” Yeji whispered to you while keeping her eyes upfront. “He runs this school and everyone is afraid of him, he’s from a family that breeds the purest vampires of all time. Filthy rich, untouchable, can speak seven languages and oh, every girl in this school fantasizes about him. But not me of course, I fantasize about Hyunjin over there” you looked in the direction that she told you.

As soon as the assembly is finished, you’re back to bowing your heads until the last vampire leaves the room. You realized that this is going to be your new life for a whole year and until you graduate from this school. One day at a time, you sigh and tell yourself.

High school is high school. But every day in 127 House is like a game of chicken with all these bloodsuckers bullying humans. Being invisible is almost impossible, they always find a way to make fun of humans. The bullying system made you change yourself. You used to be a fun person and you love talking to your friends, but now you go to class, listen to new learnings, avoid every vampire you see, go to church every Sunday, and do it again. Human or not, you try to avoid friendship.

Day by day, you spend it exactly how you spend it yesterday. It was sickening and boring, you miss your family and friends and you wonder if they miss you too. The only coping mechanism you’re allowed to do is read books in the huge old library of 127 House. Luckily, the other students aren’t interested enough in the books that this library holds. They prefer eBooks, and they all use the new library where computers and tablets are used instead of actual books. The old library was your safe place, away from the abnormalities that the world holds. You go here before you go to school, and spend your whole day here every weekend alone and unbothered. Or so you thought.

Little did you know, there's a pair of eyes who watches you in the shadows of the tall bookshelves whenever you visit. The same pair of eyes are amused whenever you smile while reading a book. The same pair of eyes is slowly being fond of you each day passes. Of course, he wouldn’t dare bother you in your safe place, he’s not that cruel or selfish. But one fine day, he decided to show up.

“You’re new here”

You were just about to get out of a dusty aisle when suddenly a man dressed in white and blue cornered you. As quick as you can, you covered your face with the book that you’re holding and didn’t dare look at his perfect form and completely avoiding the cold blooded man.

This is their way to put humans in trouble, they talk to you and pretend that they wanted to have a decent conversation, but no. One moment they’re staring in your eyes like you have the same status in life and the next thing you know, you’re in the headmaster’s office for a scolding. It’s one of their many ways of bullying humans. Vampires are all bullies, they enjoy it.

“Hey, I’m your senior and I’m talking to you. There’s no one in here, it’s just the two of us” he reasons out, frustrated because you won’t even look at him. Still avoiding his holy presence, you walked past by the vampire as fast as you can but he followed you until you reach your seat. What’s with these cold blooded creatures?

“If you don’t talk to me, I’ll make up a story and tell it to the headmaster. If you leave, I’ll tell him you touched me” it was a threat and you don’t like it. Even so, you stopped fixing your things and took a sit. He sat on the table across you with his books and his notebooks, you figured he has some studying to do.

“I’m Jeno”

“I know” your responses were quick and straightforward as possible.

“So what are you reading?” he asks, you see him holding his pen, ready to write down notes perhaps. He doesn’t look like the cold blooded Jeno that you usually see during general assemblies or free period. Now, he looked like a person, who’s pale but still handsome and ethereal. You lift the book and showed him the cover to answer his question, you didn’t even bother to let out another word from your mouth. It’s obvious, he’s trouble.

“What’s your name?” he asks while writing in his notebook.

“Y/n”

“How's your stay in 127 House so far, Y/n?” his smile was inviting, and you know that you shouldn’t stare because looking at his perfection is like committing a sin, but you couldn’t help it. You took the chance to get a better look at his face. For the first time.

“Sorry I have to go” and just like that, you gathered anything you could reach from your stuff and leave your other things on the desk. You can always come back during the daytime, where they’re all asleep. You bolted outside the library and with heavy breaths, ran back to your dorm room and did not tell anyone what happened.

Talking to Jeno even though it was barely a conversation was like stealing a huge amount of cash from your parents. Even though he looked nice the whole time, you still can’t trust the man. With that, you can only hope and pray that the Lee Jeno did not make up stories just for his entertainment.

The next day during the general assembly, you saw Jeno in front with his usual vampire might. Even more ethereal than yesterday. As you go on with your day, you went to class with caution. Hoping that you’re not going to be called to the headmaster’s office. And thankfully, you survived the day. What a relief, you thought! You headed back to the library to get the things that you left yesterday and to your surprise, your stuff was nicely organized. He fixed your things and left you a note.

Sorry to have scared you. -L.J

You read his short note over and over again, smelling the scented paper that he used, it smelled like a rose, and didn’t notice him sneak beside you because you were busy putting your stuff inside the bag.

“You’re back,” he said a little lively, and it completely startled you that he almost gave you a heart attack. Given that the library is huge and quiet, your squeak echoed and surrounded the place. And again, you avoided his gaze and tried running away for the second time but he’s quick to block you.

“Hey, didn’t I earn your trust? Not even a bit? I don’t bully humans… they just happened to be scared of me” he explains. Still, it doesn’t make any sense to you. “Look, I’ve been watching you read a bunch of books in here for days. And this has been my favorite place ever since I stepped foot in this house, no one dared to enter this wretched library. We could share” he hands you your notebook from the desk and you accept it slowly.

“Okay,” you said, still uncomfortable with his godly presence.

“If we're going to be friends, you should stop doing that. It will not kill you to have a decent conversation with me. As I’ve said before, we're alone in here”

Friends? Who told him you wanted to be friends with him?

“Not that you actually care, but I’ve read almost 30% percent of the books here. They’re quite old but golden…” He continued talking about books like the smell of your blood doesn’t bother him at all. It does. But he would rather hold his breath than losing the chance to be friends with you. By the end of the day, you brought some books that Jeno have recommended you read. It kept you all night, turning pages until you finish one book, and the next thing you know you’ve finished reading all of them. He was right about the books. The vampire has taste.

During your next meeting at the library, you talked about how the books that you’ve read and he was happy that you loved them. “Show me more?” it was not a request, but it was your move and the only way you could give back to the kindness that Jeno showed you.

Books after books and after a few days, you and Jeno became comfortable with each other. Comfortable enough to laugh and make jokes as if you’ve been friends for a long time now and completely forgetting the cruel world outside the white walls of the library. It was a growing friendship. A unique friendship that you’re both aware of.

Little did you know, that the vampire has grown a huge crush on you. He has never seen someone so full of life and be happy with even the smallest of things. You’re the epitome of simplicity but also too much and too good for him.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Jaemin slapped his friend with his free hand while they were busy feeding. He noticed that his friend was spaced out for some time now, smiling alone like an idiot, and there’s something different with Jeno these past few days. “Ohhh. I get it. You have a shiny new toy” Jaemin teases Jeno while taking a sip of cold blood.

“You’re the one who toys with the humans, Jaem not me” Jeno defends, taking a sip of his cold blood too.

“So what are we going to do this time? Make them cry, huh?” it’s easy for Jaemin to talk about things like that. Jaemin bullies mostly human girls, he’s quite irresistible with those pearly whites, perfect fangs, sexy built.

Jeno chuckled and smiled at Jaemin, “I’m going to love this one. She’s different from the other humans, she’s not selfish. She just wants to survive high school and she loves books” there was a smile on Jeno’s face while he was talking about you, something Jaemin never thought he would witness. Jeno is in love. He gulps, knowing all too well that his friend is in danger.

“For how long?” Jaemin asks nervously, hoping that there’s still hope to pull Jeno out of this dangerous situation.

“For three. Lovely. Weeks” he smiled, oh so lovingly to his friend again. “Don’t tell the others, please” Jeno knew that he could trust Jaemin no matter what, and for that, he’s thankful.

You and Jeno continued being friends, see each other in the library, spend hours and hours talking and knowing each other deeply. And as you continue with this friendship, his handsomeness is becoming harder and harder to avoid each day that passes. “I like your smile. You should smile more often” you blurted out, feeling brave to talk like that to Jeno. He smiled at you in return, his eyes became small and full of life even though the man has no soul. It’s like he has this duality that whenever he’s outside the library, he is this cold blooded creature but when you’re alone together he is this funny guy who’s clumsy and talks too much.

Of course, you don’t know, but Jeno goes to the library not because of the books anymore. He just wants to meet you and be with you, make him forget about the world that he grew up to, make him forget that he’s a vampire. Let him admire your beauty, be drunk on the smell of your blood. For Jeno, feeling your warmth near him makes him feel that he does exist in this world.

The truth is, he’s disgusted with the world outside this library. Sick of all the rules that this school implements especially the horrible division. Because of that division, he can’t do something for himself, just this once. But for the sake of their family name, he’s forcing himself to play it all out and pretend that it doesn’t sicken him.

One cold night during free period, you saw him and his friends walking towards you and Yeji in the middle of the hallway. You don’t know what came into your head but you didn’t avoid the presence of the men in white and with all your confidence, you said “Hi Jeno”

It broke your heart how he didn’t even spare you a glance, you saw it in your own eyes how his face shows no emotion when he heard you call his name. His friends heard your bravery and of course, they made fun of you, laughed at you for failing to have Jeno’s attention. What came into your head? Did you forget the division because you have a secret friendship with him? That horrible experience slapped you with the ugly truth again. Vampires don’t mingle with humans. You decided not to come to the library ever again, live peacefully behind their shadows, and enjoy the world class education that this school provides. As you should. Keeping yourself invisible became easier as you made new human friends that you could actually mingle with. It was nice having new friends from your kind, it makes you forget about the friendship that you had with Jeno too. But there's no other friend like him.

“Hi there. I’m Jaemin” the vampire cornered you with all his glory, standing in front of you as you keep your head down and ignore the cold blood who’s bullying you. “I know your secret with Jeno” he whispers to you with a tone that really got into your nerves, it made you look at him, and got in trouble for letting your guard down because of what Jaemin did and faced a week in detention and a week without dinner.

School’s twisted rules to teach humans respect. It’s not the hunger that made you incredibly mad with Jeno, and it’s not Jaemin either, it’s the fact that he told his friend about you when you didn’t even tell a single soul about what you knew about him.

“Stay away from me and stop bullying me. I'm not scared of you or the rules, I don’t care if I leave this place!” your voice echoes and surrounds the room and for the first time in your life you saw Lee Jeno feel so small. “But I do care about what my parents want, so get out of my life Jeno” your attempt to make a dramatic exit was once again stopped, he brought you deep into one of the dusty aisle and cough a little as you try to get away from his grasp.

Jeno was awfully close to you, putting both of his hands on the bookshelf behind you, caging you with his presence. He can hear your heartbeat so fast your blood became even more inviting. “Don’t be scared. I’m not going to bite you” he explains but it doesn’t change anything, you still want to get out of here. You watch him turn silent, and wait for his next move. His right hand caressed your head, feeling your hair and watching his own fingers touch your features and feel your warm skin. It was amusing for him, this is his first time touching a human and not just any human. The human that he likes.

In one swift move, he kissed you on the lips. And It was not a kiss that lovers share. It was a kiss like someone is confessing their love. Jeno can’t find the words on how he can be more honest with you when he just ruined your trust. And you do understand what he’s saying, he just confessed his feelings using that kiss because he knew you won’t listen to him anymore.

“I hope you understand” his face stayed close to you, nuzzling your hair and enjoying your warmth. He reached for your hand and slowly intertwined his fingers with yours. It was like fire and ice were merging at this very moment. And if you thought holding his hands made your heart beat faster like you just ran a mile, the moment he made you encircle your arms around his waist made you weak right then and there and he was quick to catch you. You too have no words for what's happening right now but you feel the same way towards Jeno.

He kissed you again and this time you returned the kiss, making the vampire smile from ear to ear in between the kiss, exposing his sharp fangs to you for the first time which you thought he was going to bite you, but no, he kissed you deeper this time. And during the kiss, you can feel his fangs scratch slightly with your teeth. You can also say that he just fed because the metal taste of human blood still lingers in his lips and tongue, but you don’t care. It’s Jeno.

The peck that Jeno planned on giving you, became your first make out session with him in the old and dusty library. Whenever someone pulls away and tried to stop kissing, you come right back in and devour each other’s lips again. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. But seriously what were you thinking?” he said, cupping your face as he waits for your answer.

“I know it’s my fault. But I thought what we have here is something special-“

“It is special. And it’s for me and you, only. Please don’t do it again, for us” he rests his forehead on yours, closing his eyes and feeling the happiness sink right in. “To be honest I was heartbroken when you stopped coming here. I thought I lost you already way before you can be mine” he kissed you again, but this time he’s hugging you tightly. “Fuck you smell good, you’re making me hungry” you watch him gulp closely, “I need to uhm- you know, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

And there’s that smile you love seeing, only for your eyes to see. “Yes” you smiled back and kissed him one last time.

Just like your moments with Jeno in the library, you two continue to meet secretly and spend time together. The books became witness to your growing love as this dangerous relationship becomes, even more, deeper each day passes. It was a secret relationship, but your feelings were true as it can be.

Dating like normal teenagers was hard, of course given the situation you two can’t go on dates. But the vampire is clever and smart. You forgot how he has this whole school wrapped around his finger. With the help of the other vampires to cover up for him, he made a picnic date happen… in the middle of the woods, under the dark.

“Vampires wear denim pants?” you tease him and he greets you with a kiss.

It was a starry night and you watch and connect the stars while holding each other’s hand. His cold skin doesn’t bother you anymore, you grew fond of it. You spend the night giggling quietly with Jeno, making each other laugh, telling unbelievable stories to each other from your kind.

“Have you ever experienced biting a human?” you asked curiously, still looking at the stars and holding Jeno’s cold hands.

“That’s illegal. My family is pure, the finest as they say” he scoffed as if the thought of his family disgust him. “Poor vampires suck blood from humans because they can’t afford buying clean and purified ones- think of it as water, most rich vampires think drinking directly from humans is… disgusting and dirty. So they buy the filtered ones” you nod your head, acknowledging what he said understanding how it works, thinking deeply like you're solving a Math problem. He was amused by your reaction.

“What will happen to you if they find out about us?” you blurted out, resting your chin on his strong chest as you wait for his answer.

“To be honest I don’t know. But were sure in trouble young lady” he nuzzles your hair but it’s not your shampoo that he smelled, it’s your blood. He tickled your sides again so he can hear your laugh that’s music to his ears.

“Okay okay, last question,” you said, catching your breath from too much laughing.

“Shoot”

“How can someone be a vampire?”

“Nope. Not answering that. Too dangerous for you young lady” he teased and tickled you again. It’s not fair, you thought.

When Jeno finally got tired of teasing you, he turned silent and stared at your face as if he’s engraving it in his memory. Deep inside, he doesn’t know how to keep you away from his family. He doesn’t know how you can survive the cruelty of his world.

“I love you” you heard him whisper, you barely heard it but he was sincere. He's kissing your knuckles and holding it tightly, pulling you closer to his cold body for a kiss on the lips, “I love you too” you said kissing his cold hand while looking at him smiling from ear to ear again, exposing his fangs to you.

To make Jaemin pay for what he’s done to you, Jeno made him the lookout whenever you and the vampire have time to make out in locker rooms during free periods. Jeno would drag you there and make out with you until he’s satisfied or he’s late for his next class. You always feel nervous whenever you’re with Jeno but his lips, oh his lips! Does it make you calm and forget about the world.

If the locker room is not safe, you always have the woods at night and no one would dare lurk in those dark places. Jeno kept you safe in the dark and made you feel safe, knowing that it makes you scared. “I’m a vampire, what are you so afraid of?” he chuckled, and just like that, you two continue to kiss like there's nothing wrong in what you’re doing.

During weekends, you and Jeno love to stargaze. Hugging you under a blanket, arms perfectly wrapped around you. His cold skin brings you comfort even if sometimes it makes you shiver. You taught him how to eat cookies, which he finds disgusting but he eats it anyway to not disappoint you.

And just like normal teenage relationships, what’s a great relationship without having your first big a fight? In fact, it was so big and horrible that you thought that was the end of it. Nothing beats jealousy.

“We were lab partners, Jeno! And we were studying!” by this time you were yelling at him and you hate this feeling. Both of you are completely aware of the love you share, but being divided this way can make you both jealous in every way. “How about you with Yeeun, huh? Do you enjoy her godly presence?” you added.

“Don’t get me started about you and Mark. I see you two, too close sometimes. Are you cheating on me?” it was so easy for him to accuse you of something you would never do to the man you love. With that, you scoffed and turned your back on him, gathering your books and making your way out of the library. He didn’t even bother stopping you this time like he always does.

The fight went on for weeks until exams week were finally over. It was torture for both of you but he hurt you in a way you couldn’t believe he can. You went to the library to return some books you’ve already finished reading. To your surprise a red rose is waiting for you on the desk you claim as yours, of course, it’s from Jeno.

Jealousy can’t ruin us. Please forgive me - L.J

You meet him in the woods that night after class, exchanged apologies, sweet and loving words, and shared a wonderful kiss. He’s right, jealousy can’t ruin what you have. Every relationship experiences huge fights.

Walking hand in hand back to the school premises, Jeno smelled another human blood near the two of you. He was just about to tell you to hide when Jaemin and his girlfriend were walking hand in hand towards the dark where you just came from. She was your senior, and you can see that she holds on to Jaemin so tight like you’re about to take Jaemin away from her. She was scared that you’d tell, but you’re not like that, you smiled and gave her your jacket. “It’s awfully cold back there. It’s nice to know I’m not alone” she smiled back at you.

“Glad you two are back” Jaemin teases Jeno and your boyfriend just rolled his eyes at him.

One hot afternoon in the library, Jeno’s skin was so irritated with the heat but he wanted to be with you. He was confident with his hands that it started to roam around your body, something he’s never done before but you like it. Let’s not fool ourselves here.

“Does the heat makes you horny? Or the heat is a different story?” you tease him in between kisses. His hand is under your skirt, caressing your ass cheek playing with the hem of your black lacy panties. If him being confident with his hands shocks you, well you were completely surprised when he removed your panties swiftly and started to undo his belt.

“Baby, I’m a virgin. Don’t I at least deserved to fucked on your coffin?” You were talking about his bed, and it was a joke that made laugh and brought up your panties again. “Thank you” you knew he would understand that you don’t want to have your first sex in a dusty library and you’re thankful that Jeno is a gentleman even though he can't control himself sometimes.

He’s one horny vampire.

“When?” he was talking about the sex you were sure of it. And the real answer to that is you don’t know because you don’t know how.

“I’m not sure how to make that happen, baby, I’m not the god of this school” you both chuckled and laughed quietly.

“Right- I’m sorry about your panties-“

“No no, it’s okay“ you kissed his cheek and fixed his ruined hair.

“Wait for me here tonight, then I’ll bring you to our dorms” it was another shocker for you, how can he make that possible? He kissed your hand and wore his black sunglasses again before he leaves the library. Leaving you with a promise that tonight is going to be special.

Usually, on weekends, you and Jeno go stargazing deep into the woods and make out like crazy under the stars but tonight, he brought you to his dorm room and you both never felt so together. The vampire dorm is deep underground to protect them from the heat and harsh sunlight. Maybe that’s why it takes them too long during general assemblies. And as expected, Jeno’s room is dark, with no windows and minimal airflow but you can manage. There’s no coffin, but his bed is cold even though you two are wildly kissing already while you sit comfortably on top of him, shirtless and only wearing thin sweatpants while you are wearing only your matching underwear.

“We have to be absolutely quiet tonight” he whispers softly to you. In return, you whisper back a soft ‘okay’ while still grinding on top of Jeno’s hardening cock. You do your best to keep quiet, not only you don’t want to get caught, but there are literally a hundred vampires outside Jeno’s room and you wouldn’t want the attention.

“You smell good” it sounded like a quiet moan like he’s stopping himself but still he swims on the lust and frenzy that your blood brings.

“I smell good or my blood smells good?” you tease him more, leaning on his figure, grinding even more deliciously. It was torture for him, but he likes it. He smiled at you, but not like the kind of smile you loved seeing. It was a weak smile, watching you under his lids, shaking his head in disbelief. He grabs the small of your back, pulling you closer than ever to him. It was cold, but not because of the night. You were sure that it’s cold because of Jeno’s skin pressing on your body.

With one swift move, he’s on top of you, kissing your neck that he oh so love, gripping your clothed boobs so hard you thought your bra will get ruined. Using one hand, you unclasp your bra expose yourself to Jeno. It made him stop devouring your neck and the grip on your boobs loosen up. He can’t believe that this is all happening.

“I always thought you look even more beautiful, naked” he swirls his pointer finger on your hardening nipples, watching you with full amusement on how you will react with his touch.

“I didn’t know you were capable of thinking such dirty thought” you managed to bite back, still feeling his cold fingers swirl slowly around your nipples. He kissed you on the chest, softly like your first kiss together. But the softness was quickly replaced with lustful one as you watch him suck your boobs while looking deep into your eyes. Your nipples were quick to be swollen because of the way how Jeno sucks them. Well, he’s a vampire after all.

You notice his kisses were slowly going down to your stomach as he takes time kissing your inner thighs. Spreading your legs according to his liking before he removes your panties. It’s weird how he was facing your clothed pussy, feeling his cold breath brush on your damped panties as he was smelling it. “Your period is near, I can smell it” it was a joke but it made you shy as hell in front of your boyfriend that you closed your legs and grab the blanket near you.

Jeno was chuckling awkwardly. It was funny but you still can’t help but be shy. Your boyfriend was quick to apologize, kissing you again on the lips and putting away the blanket that you covered yourself with. He can be an effective period tracker you joke to yourself.

He removed your panties swiftly and get himself naked before he returns to his place in between your legs. He looked more handsome flashing those perfect abs, again, only for your eyes. You run your hands around his perfect body, making him twitch a little because of your warm palms. He proceeds to suck his own fingers, point and middle finger, before he puts it on your slit. Making it wet even more. If he thought that your palms were warm, your walls were warmer and he likes the feeling of it just like how you love the feeling of his cold skin.

Given that you’re a virgin, your hole was so tight that it scared Jeno to continue. “Does it hurt?” he asks, moving his two fingers in and out of your wet entrance. The hurt was obvious in your face it surely bothered your boyfriend, being a virgin vampire is definitely making him nervous right now.

“Yeah. But it feels good baby, don’t stop” it was a quiet and airy moan. Your head rolled back, exposing your neck in front of him. He avoided it for the first time because it was becoming too much to handle. That’s not good he thought, he never felt that way before towards you.

He removed his fingers and cleaned it with his own mouth. Making you watch how he lick those fingers of his, coated with your pussy juices, he looked fucking hot and you wonder if it tastes good for him. Little did you know he is becoming crazy, your pussy juices were the closest thing he can get to have a taste of you.

“You do know that there's more down there right?” you were inviting him to lick your pussy, he only smirked and went close to you. Kissing your mouth hungrily like he hasn’t kissed you for months.

“Yes but that’s dangerous, I can end up sucking your period blood-“

“Which is gross!” you whispered a little too loud, making Jeno laugh uncontrollably.

“Ohhh. I love you, ready?” he asked, palming himself and pumping his cock before he proceeds. You nod your head ‘yes’, feeling your heart beat faster. You’re about to lose your virginity to a guy you love. You smiled and sling your arms around his neck, he can hear your heartbeat but your face is telling him that you’re happy and excited.

He never left your lips, kissing you none stop so you won’t think about the hurt. It was sweet. But he was big and you were the one who stopped returning the kisses. It felt like your air was being sucked up, you started breathing heavily and to Jeno… No one said that the lust that your blood brings during sex was unbearable.

For your safety, he was trying not to breathe and avoid your delicious scent. Your blood smells like freshly cooked ham on Christmas Eve. It lingers around the room.

You notice that his thrusts were stiff and he looked in pain more than you. You tried reaching for his face but he avoided your touch and continued sliding his cock in and out of you. The hurt was long forgotten because you were more bothered with how Jeno is reacting to the sex.

It’s your blood. He’s stopping himself.

“Hey, hey, look at me baby,” it was hard for you too, because even though Jeno’s thrust was sloppy, it still felt good for you. “Bite me, it’s okay” you know that you shouldn’t have offered, but what can you do? He was suffering.

It was an offer that he can’t refuse. A sin that he doesn’t care doing. He tried to relax himself and smelled your blood even more, enjoying the high and making himself more drunk . He leaned closer to your neck, licking it over and over again. He finds a perfect spot where he can suck you off, a perfect spot where you can hide the traces of his fangs.

And just when you feel like you’re already on the edge, you stop yourself from moaning too much and take Jeno’s quick thrust. His cold hand grips one boob and the other is intertwined with your hand. He can hear your hearbeat racing, he knows you’re about to have an orgasm.

“Jen I’m gonna cum-“ your warning has been cut off when you feel something stick into your skin that you almost screamed but you're quick to stop yourself.

Getting your blood sucked felt amazing, it’s like having a slow orgasm that will make you moan, smile through the high with furrowed brows, then it will make you feel dizzy for a second. And the most amazing part about that, it works both ways.

Jeno shoots his cum on his clean sheets, even though he can’t get you pregnant, he can’t cum inside you without your consent. He flopped beside you while you’re still high from your orgasm and getting your blood sucked. Jeno seized this moment to kiss oh so sweetly to bring you back to Earth with him.

When you don’t feel numb already, you saw Jeno’s lips with a little bit of blood on the side. You wiped it with your thumb with a smile and he catches your hand with his lips and kissed it. It was an amazing first time for both of you, no doubt about that.

“You okay, Jeno?” you asked him because you’re not sure what your blood does to him.

“More than okay. How about you, did I hurt you?” he was more concerned and checked the part where he had bit you, kissed it softly until it’s tickling you and you had to make him stop.

“I just remembered how you said that-uhm, drinking human blood straight from a human is kind of dirty-“ he stopped you with a kiss and pulled you close to him.

“What are you talking about, it’s your blood. Nothing about you can disgust me” he whispers to you.

The sex and the bloodsucking made your relationship even more special and thrilling. Every weekend, Jeno sneaks you into his room and be intimate with you in every way possible. Round after round and before you reach your orgasm, Jeno bites you in the same place and suck you off. The taste of your blood has become his new favorite thing in the world that even one drop of it on his tongue, he will know that it’s yours. It was like a drug for both of you and an addiction that has to be stopped.

Sometimes when he feels full or you look too weak, there’s no bloodsucking. Only sex, and pure sex. Even though it’s better when there’s blood involved, Jeno can still make you feel good using his cock and you can still make him dizzy by sucking him off. If he’s being completely honest with you, it amazes him with how good you suck him off. Your mouth makes him crazy, moan your name and ask for more. Just like now that his whole length is inside your mouth and the tip of his cock is hitting the back of your throat. Thrusting his length in and out, making you gag but you can handle it.

Again, you amaze him. “You could be a great vampire, you know how to suck good.” He kissed you on the lips and made you lay beside him, switching positions to return the favor.

He was still hard and his cock is ready to go, pushing in slowly as usual in your tight walls. Another addicting thing about you. After having sex almost every week, Jeno became confident in bed, even more confident than before. Now, he can fuck you hard and give you a mind blowing orgasm without biting you.

“Jeno, harder” you moan quietly, careful not to be heard. Jeno pounds in you hard, making your boobs bounce up and down. He recently found out that you love it when he touches your clit while you’re on edge and on the verge to have a great orgasm. And one of the many perks of being a vampire is, he can hear your heart beats fast so he knows when to put his thumb and touch you. Softly at first, like he’s not fucking you hard, then he will slowly put pressure on his fingers and the next thing he knows, you’re shivering beneath him, parting your lips, and reaching for Jeno’s shoulder to bite it as you ease your oversensitivity and to stop yourself from moaning loudly.

“Who’s the vampire here? me or you?” he chuckles and kisses you on the lips watching you smile weakly beneath him. You feel him wear his shirt and boxers brief as he waits for you to calm down.

“Can you make me a vampire someday?” it was a stupid question. He just chuckled, cleaned you up, and helped you get dressed.

“No. Absolutely not” he answered and kissed you again.

As you were about to tie your shoes, you saw your hand shaking uncontrollably. You were about to hide it from Jeno but he saw it already and he was quick to hold your hand even if he knows he holds no warmth and his cold hands can make your hands shake more. But he’s confident that he can make you calm.

“I’m here. Relax, tell me the truth, are you okay?” he kisses your knuckles and proceeds to tie your shoes himself as he waits for your answer.

“I’m fine. This is the first time though” it’s true.

“Okay, well, baby you have to take care of yourself out there because I can’t. And I’m sorry, I truly am. Let’s be careful from now on okay? No more bloodsucking I promise”

As much as he wants to take care of you outside, he can’t but he has his own ways. Whenever he’s around you, he simply watches you. It frustrates him even more but he has to remain calm or else people will get suspicious. Jeno became more and more in love with you, as he continues to fear losing you.

This is his first time feeling such fear.

One fine Sunday night where the whole school was at church and the mass just finished, you started to feel dizzy and unstable. Unlike morning general assemblies where the vampires get out first, during church it’s different. They are expected to pray more and stay a little bit longer in church and humans leave first.

While you wait for your row to stand up and head out, you shake your head from side to side to try and shrug it off. You try closing your eyes and open them again to stop the dizziness but it won't leave. You felt weak as you try to stand up and walk with the others, but your eyesight was turning black.

Then you fainted. Feeling the cold floor of 127 House on your face.

The girls gasped and made quite a noise at church while the vampires were already starting to pray again. And usually, Jeno wouldn’t care what’s happening behind. But Jaemin does.

“She fainted” Jaemin murmured and pretends to pray.

“Who yours?” Jeno murmured back.

“No. Yours”

And just like that Jeno didn’t hesitate to turn his head back and see for himself. It’s true. He saw you being carried by the school nurse and the sight of it makes him want to vomit all the blood that he had for dinner earlier during feeding. He was worried sick about you but he can't do shit.

“Control yourself. She will be fine” Jaemin was worrying for his friend too. For all, he knows you are Jeno’s weakness and he’s scared that Jeno will cause a scene at church in front of the other vampires and expose his vulnerability.

As you stayed unconscious at the school’s hospital wing, the school nurse checked your pulse, your breathing, and your blood, and found of about Jeno’s markings at the top of your collar bone. You lost a lot of blood from too much intimacy with Jeno, and the higher ups of the school only had one theory of what happened to you. You were fornicating with a vampire which is a sin to them.

Of course, they only cared about Jeno’s wellbeing and quickly called his family. Covering up for Jeno’s scandal, the higher ups did not say that they knew all about your relationship with Jeno. They would rather choose to believe that you forced Jeno to drink your blood, than accepting the truth that you two are in love. But for now, they remained silent and waited for Jeno’s father to decide about your consequence.

While you were at the hospital wing saving strength and accepting visits from Yeji and your other friends, Jeno is facing big trouble because of what happened to you. Given that they easily tracked Jeno’s fangs, he doesn’t care at all if the whole school finds out. He just wants to know if you’re safe.

Yes, he is scared to face his parents, but he wants to face them with all false bravery and receive his punishment. He entered the room with all his might, not giving a fuck about the teachers who are in the same room as he is. On the right side of the room, he sees his father staring outside waiting for the sun to rise while he listens to the headmaster talk.

Lee Taeyong, always looked scary to everyone. Even the other vampires wouldn’t dare look at his perfection. Jeno is powerless when it comes to his father and quite frankly his relationship with his own father is as cold as their blood.

“Mr. Lee, we didn’t actually catch them do it but it was indeed Lee Jeno’s fangs according to school records… and your son is in a relationship with a human”

Taeyong turned around to face his son and put both of his hands in the pocket of his trousers, “continue” he said. Obviously, he’s much more interested in the story of how his son became so rebellious after meeting you. Unfortunately, the school found out everything even about your stargazing dates and library dates. It all sounded like a joke to Taeyong which made him laughed and mock his own son.

“Are you done playing dumb, son?” the tone of his voice was cool. It’s always like that. Words come out from his mouth slowly to send daggers in Jeno’s heart. “I don’t want a scandal for the Lee family, let this be a secret for everyone. Son, I want you to pretend that nothing happened between the two of you. Pretend that you don’t know her, pretend that you don’t love her and this time you will follow the school rules or I will ruin her parent's business” Jeno’s father is a powerful man and the school staffs wouldn’t dare not follow him. “Let Jeno suffer from his stupidity. Nothing can stain the perfectness of the Lee family. Go to church young man, get your blood clean” Taeyong added.

Jeno was scared. He felt weak and unable to talk, but he has to at least try and fight for you. “We were in love” he croaked, but Taeyong just turned his back from his son and admired the beautiful sunset.

“I believe you and I don’t care”

Taeyong knew you are a threat not only to the Lee family but also to the whole vampire kind. If he let you and Jeno stay together, you will serve as hope or inspiration to the other humans and humans will continue to stain the royalty of the vampires.

And the stupidity of his son is the root of it all.

The young vampire did not know what to do, frustrated, and mad knowing all too well that he can’t stomach hurting your feelings. Jeno left the room and look for someplace quiet to cry and be mad at his own father. His own father.

Weeks after being discharged from the school’s hospital, it’s surprising how Jeno is not meeting you in your usual places. He’s not coming to the library anymore to meet with you, no more spontaneous making out while Jaemin is on the lookout, you are left alone in the dark under the stars for the past weekends. It was heartbreaking. You don’t know what’s going on.

“School’s king and queen, huh? No wonder they seem so close during assemblies. Also, their families are a perfect match. Both untouched and rich” Yeji continues to gossip with Lia while you’re on her side, listening and feeling your heartbreak into pieces.

Not long after you’ve heard the rumor about Yeeun and Jeno being together, to be honest, you find it as a sick joke that Jeno is playing. You saw them walking hand in hand in the school corridor. White on white never looked so good. So it's true. Yeeun catches your attention and raised one eyebrow at you as if she’s saying, ‘bow down, he was never yours’

Again, you got into trouble for looking at Yeeun and Jeno. And once again, the ugly truth slapped you hard in the face. You’ve committed a great sin by loving a vampire, and now you’re facing the consequences. No more, you said to yourself. This time, you decided for yourself and told your parents that you cannot handle the ways of this school anymore. You didn’t tell them about Jeno because that would be a great scandal, you just told them that the bullying in the school is out of hand that it isn’t the right place for you.

“Did someone bullied you?” your dad asked through the phone, sounding so worried and concerned.

“No no. I just want to leave before someone does, is that okay? I promise to do good in my next school”

“Of course. Will get you out of there right away”

The school didn’t make a fuss about the situation and let your parents pull you out from the school. At least they’re nice enough to not tell about what happened between you and Jeno. Hearing the news that you are transferring schools, Jeno tried everything, even asked help from Jaemin’s girlfriend but he was too late. You already left, with erased memories.

As part of the school’s twisted rules, graduating from the school is the only way to keep your memories so that students like you, cannot stain the perfect name of the school 127 House and spread false rumors about it.

Jeno hated himself more but he didn’t cause any more trouble and embraced a sad life without you, from now on. He became colder towards the other students and started to bully other humans, vampires, and teachers. Even Jaemin and his other friends can’t help him and make him stop.

To feel your presence again, he still goes to the library where you two met and shared hundreds of memories. Relieving every memory, one by one, even staying inside the library in the middle of a hot afternoon. It doesn’t matter if the heat is irritating him, what his father did to him was even more irritating than the sun.

He still goes stargazing every weekend, torturing himself even more. Looking at the stars with tears in his eyes, hoping that he could hear your voice and feel your warmth again.

One day, when he was feeding with Jaemin and the rest of the guys and the blood that’s given to him tastes like yours it made him crazy, drank it in one go. He missed you even more than ever, but a lot of horrible scenarios ran through his mind. Why is your blood being donated? Did his parents have you killed? Did something happened to you? He was being hysterical. Jaemin was quick to calm him down and gave his friend another pack of blood, “Don’t make a scene or you’ll get in trouble again. You just miss her that’s why every blood you taste, tastes like her”

“You don’t understand because yours wasn’t taken away from you” Jeno once again pushed Jaemin away but this time he hurt his friend.

“Jeno, we broke up because of your stupidity and I’m here stuck with you. Drink your blood” Jaemin broke up with his girl because he was scared the school might found out about them too. He would rather break up with her than getting her memories erased and forget about the love that they shared.

Graduation came and Jeno can’t stomach the presence of his father. Jeno left and graduated from 127 House with pure anger and disgust towards the school and the people who run it. He was ready to move forward and go to college, but he will never want to move on from you. For as long as he can, he will hope and pray for you to come back in his life.

College was another vampire play for Jeno, the only difference is the stage has gotten bigger. To earn his parent’s trust again, he made the family proud and forced himself to get involved with the family business and showed Taeyong that he can be trusted. Build his own life and making himself known as one of the scariest Lee next to his father. All those things were easy for Jeno. He can fake it every day. But the pain of losing you still haunts him every night, that’s what hard for him.

Jeno grew up to be a fine vampire like his family and live up to the family legacy. When Jeno was all grown up and arranged to marry Yeeun, he was heartbroken again.

He did found you though, but he can only remain as a stranger so he can’t hurt you for the second time. He always watches you from afar, just like how he first met you at the library. You don’t know but he watches you when you’re asleep, sitting close to you like a shadow. Jeno stayed with you for days, admire you when you sleep, love you secretly.

Until one night during your sleep, you have this weird dream that you study in a vampire school when you were still young. A vampire so handsome like a god was holding your hand while you were watching the stars with him. Little did you know, they were all flashbacks of every good memory you had with Jeno.

“Jeno” you murmur in your sleep but Jeno wouldn’t dare wake you up.

“Y/n,” he whispered back, smiling because he’s hurt but happy at the same time you remember his name even if it’s just a murmur. He kissed you and smelled your blood one last time, even left his tears on your cheek, then left and never came back again.

Omg my #1 inspiration for this fic was my high school life and how I’m always weak and pale all throughout high school. I was a transferee when I was a sophomore and I went to school not wearing uniform but casual clothes. it was humiliating. Also I was cultured shock because it’s so different from the academy that I used to go schooling. ANYWEIZ ALL IS WELL, HIGH SCHOOL FOR ME WAS FUN.

Vampires were based to Vampire Academy, the twisted school rules were based from Slaughterhouse Rulez. I think Vampire Academy is a great book but the movie was just so so.

Anyweiz, it’s my birthday today and I wrote this story for myself and tried stretching my imagination. heheh what a challenge.

Hope you enjoyed reading!

#nct-writers #neohalloween #jeno smut #nct jeno smut #jeno angst #nct jeno angst #jeno fluff #nct jeno fluff #jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader #lee jeno smut #lee jeno fluff #lee jeno angst #nct scenarios #nct imagines #lee jeno vampire #nct vampire au

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years ago

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honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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