#I felt like oversharing

[machiavelli]

the only thing I would really love to change about myself is my ability to console people. I know many would say that being there, holding them, crying with them is enough. but I just wish I knew what to say, I knew a way of actually making them feel better. I never know how to react when people say the worst thing that has happened to them. and there is not a completely right, clear and universal path for consoling people, but I just wish I knew how to be good enough in those situations.

[devotion-disorder]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8?feature=share

10/10 would smash Yuri buuuuut this vid lived rent free in my head, I don't wanna skip to my next life just yet-

no because i can vouch that she is 100% correct. of course everyone's built different but i have almost the exact same opinions as her...they dont call it rearranging your guts for no reason yall.

BUT you can also make a lot work with a bit of time and patience :D and when you're sequestered in the deepest part of the woods, trapped in a village that most people that don't even know exists, there is definitely more than plenty of time :) though Yuri also tends to be impatient, so......................... good luck? ^^;

[f-imaginings]

I have a genuine question being Aroace but I'm afraid to ask and my headcanon will go to waste.

But KMKY's Ford always seemed to be at least in some way the aroace look (being demi or gray that is), did you do it out of want, in the idea of looking, or is it just part of the character and you never thought of yourself in a sexuality for him?

I can definitely see Ford being ace!

I myself am demisexual so I definitely think some of that perspective leeched into how I write Ford. Because my own experience informed how I wrote him, little things like being kind of oblivious/frustrated when strangers flirt with him (the hand witch or the girl from college who worked in the aquarium with the legwarmers lmao) because they don't know him!!! So how dare they!!! Lmao, falling for Bill's mind first since it didn't really matter that he was a shape or a muse or whatever, the rest would work itself out, feeling seen and only crushing initially because it seemed like his mind was being appreciated first and foremost, and treating their sex life like an experiment/engaging with the kinks/power plays inherent rather than just going through the motions (because kink makes more sense sometimes than just some undefined biological urge that you're supposed to have but no one can explain it to you, yet it's perfectly understandable to go 'oh they like feeling powerless as a powerful being I understand that perfectly, now how can I get creative with it'.)

I definitely think he wanted romantic attention from Bill, and wanted to be valued romantically (hence going on a date with Susan and Cathy Crenshaw) but the idea of getting romantic attention from a stranger is unappealing (hence why he was so reluctant to go on the date with Susan) and wanted the sort of holistic acceptance that comes with ideas of romance (because then his polydactylism will be accepted along with his unique mind) but the traditional trappings of romantic relationships aren't that appealing (was worried that he would have to engage in gay culture/grow a moustache and have a makeover to be in this relationship ECT). Bill was great for him BC he accepted and actively sought out all of Ford's weirdness and the dark bits you're ashamed to show, and then got freaky with them lmao. And there's no way to cement a bond quicker than to show someone your most vulnerable parts and have them accept those things unconditionally. Turning shame into dependence right there. That truly is the no one knows you like I do trap, and that shit feels inescapable.

Because of my own experience I know that you can be demisexual and still have a preference for gender or looks, hence why he built the "flattering vessel" for Bill to not only be flattering by beauty standards in general but also subconsciously to be exactly what Ford found attractive. The kicker is that personality means more than good looks, so when Bill inhabited the body in a different way than Stanford expected but he still found his personality all the more fascinating because of it, that was probably what cinched his feelings BC he got to know more about Bill's weirdness and see how it matched his own.

I am giving you a big virtual hug anon BC no head canon is ever wasted, how you engage with a story you like is important and you deserve to feel seen and heard when you engage in content you like. If I can go some way towards making the fandom of this fic a safe welcoming place it's my privilege to do so as a writer!

[deadandphilgames]

dan and phil need to upload like now im being so fr

[tinkerbitch69]

Is it wrong of me to feel just a liiiiiiitle salty about the fact that the x men are everyone’s favourite superheroes again but everyone’s decided to experience collective amnesia about the public perception of the x men in the 2010s during which I stuck with them as my favourite marvel heroes?

Even through the times marvel editorial actively tried to kill off their popularity plus being the only person I knew who got super hyped for dofp/apocalypse/dark phoenix while everyone else was hyped for the latest avengers film. (Also having to eat a big slice of humble pie when dark phoenix turned out to be total shit) Like I know this is incredibly minor and petty and unimportant but still stings a little you know?

[softguarnere]

putting below the cut because cw: animal death

.

My dog passed away and I feel so empty, but it also hurts so bad. I had her for 15 years, and her being gone feels unreal. Like, I went to school, and she wasn't there to greet me when I got home. That's never happened before. I hate this. Please come back to me. Please. I need you here with me. Please come back

[sergle]

I got a couple messages about uhh my genre of mood lately and yeah there is just a lot going on in general, but also I am more suicidal than ever

I already air my dirty laundry online anyway so the main thing is I've been broken up with my partner who's also been my best friend for the last 12 years

[froget-me-nots]

butterflies in my stomach spinning around all my friends are so beautiful. not even in the sense that i've always thought they were pretty but. once someone is my friend i just want to stare at them and listen to them talk forever. smiling until my mouth hurts

[worldofgoo]

i was a quiet kid that didnt really express itself very much or ask for anything and i could entertain myself if i realized nobody was paying attention to me but it lead to me feeling neglected/ignored when it seems like from my parents perspective i just never expressed any types of needs or distress, whenever i ask my mom about my childhood she said i was "low maintenance"

[sunmisbf]

oomfies can i be tmi for a second 😭 so my doctor gave me stool kit on monday n today my boyfriend called me while i was at work n he asked me if i went to drop it off n i said no bc i just had diarrhea in the morning n i forgot my coworker was there n she could hear me n i literally saw her go like this

[allylikethecat]

Happy New Year!

I wanted to apologize for dropping completely off the face of the interwebs so suddenly I know that no one expects any kind of explanation but I got a bunch of really nice asks which I promise I WILL respond to in the coming days and so I feel like I owe all y’all wonderful people one?

Matty had said / done somethings in real life that I didn’t agree with, and as a result I decided I wanted to take a little time off from fic writing to kind of come to terms IRL Matty vs Fictional!Matty - the plan was to work on some more Hockey RPF and Top Gun stuff.

BUT THEN

Life just life-ed really hard. I went to a horse show, then after we got home Pop coliced really badly and while he did NOT have to have surgery, thankfully, it was really scary and stressful for a bit there, and then he just wasn’t really doing all that hot after. He’s going to be 18 in 2025 and was also down and thrashing / kicking pretty violently before they found him, since of course what better time to colic than 3am on the coldest day of the year, and potentially hurt himself a bit while doing it. Then it was a “why did he colic” situation and they thought maybe he had ulcers, but he actually doesn’t which is shocking in a show horse and now he’s on probiotics and I wake up in a blind panic every night worrying about him.

Then I was out of town (something I debated still doing after Pop got sick but my vet told me to go) on a family trip to celebrate that my mother’s cancer hadn’t gotten worse (yay!). Then I got back and Pop decided he was over all of the taking it slow stuff, so he spooked and dumped me. It was the first time I had fallen off him in over a year and a half and he stepped on me on my way down 💀 Luckily nothing was broken but I was bruised as shit - both from where I fell and also from where he stepped on me. Luckily it’s winter so no one has to look at the lovely purple hoof shaped bruise on my thigh or the one on my ass / hip / back. He fully felt very bad that I fell off and stood over me with concern instead of running away which I appreciated.

I’m also moving the second week of January so finding a new place to live was also super stressful, because moving! Then I lost my job just in time to fly back to visit family for the holidays. BUT luckily, I worked for a consulting company, and the company I consulted on called me up and hired me directly so your girl is employed again after the most whirl wind stressful few days. I think I have new gray hairs. December was not my month lol

BUT it’s now a new year, where I’ll be going into a new (old) job, a new apartment, and hopefully no new bruises and a healthy pony! With everything going on something just had to give, and the thing that ended up giving was tumblr / writing fic. I did however read NINTY books this year so I was super excited about that. All the time I had previously spent on the internet ended up being time reading.

I hope to get back into writing soon - I know I owe y’all a new chapter of On a Friday and I actually was able to sit down and work on some of that today.

If you made it to the bottom of this, thank you so, so much for reading this long rambling over sharing post, my fics and just being so wonderful and supportive. I appreciate you all more than you even know and I look forward to writing fic and chatting about it again soon! I hope you have a wonderful, happy New Year, because 2025 is going to be the best yet!

❤️Ally

[darsynia]

OKAY SO

Sometimes I am not super steady with my meds. This doesn't happen super often, so I always forget a hilarious, heartwarming side effect of starting one particular medicine back up...

I get effusive. I mean every word, but I just want to reassure anyone who's gotten a message from me today that nothing's wrong, I'm not 'love bombing' or anything like that, I just get this urge to wordvomit how much you mean to me. I forget that this is a side effect every time, because it's maybe once every 6-12 months, and because telling people how they've made me smile is always a choice I'm going to make.

My oldest is Gen Z and she calls it 'NPC syndrome,' the way we can often take each other for granted. In truth, I really appreciate so, so many of you, and want to let you know that you've made Tumblr a refuge, a sounding board, a creative outlet, and so much more. Cheers, favorite treats, and respectful hugs to you all!!

[birdmenmanga]

I have no idea why I've had such terrifying dreams lately...

[drawlfoy]

sometimes i wonder how much covid really impacted me until i realize that the reason i still feel so nostalgic and sad that my teenage years are over and why i have trouble accepting that ive moved on and am an actual adult now is because the moment i turned 18 the world immediately stopped

[moe-broey]

Freyja voice I'm So Sorry you had a Traumatic Childhood and it made you Stupid On-Line.

[pinkmirth]

broke up with my bf for the second time . . . i think i’m gonna put this all this relationship stuff to rest for now