#I feel so strongly to try and be the perfect person and friend but I keep not being aware of what im doing or saying

[tabbytiger]

Having the profound realization that, yes, I am indeed psychotic. I also have adhd so they are holding hands. Think I’ve been in a psychotic episode since the last months of 2023 and I’m just now realizing it. 😭 I wrote it off as just my paranoid anxiety but like gorly those are symptoms of Psychosis.

Umm anyways who wants to perform a ritual to rid me of this ailment.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Soulmates (Rorona Zoro x Fem!reader)

A/N: Hi :) -Val

Words: 2, 197

“I don't believe in that bullshit,” Zoro grunts and takes a sip of his sake bottle. 

Nami and Usopp nod in agreement. 

“Wait, I don’t get it,” Luffy says with a frown. “How does it work?” 

“The story says that we all have one person who completes us in every way,” they all look at Robin. “It’s like you’ve found the perfect piece of meat, Luffy,” she smiles at him knowing his language. 

Luffy’s eyes grow in awe understanding the meaning of soulmates. 

The kitchen stays silent as the rain outside drops hard. 

“But, do you eat that person?” Luffy asks again, making Chopper and Usopp laugh. 

“No, Captain,” Robin giggles. “This person helps, protects, loves, and takes care of you. The connection is mutual. They say you feel attracted to that person even if you don���t know who they are. It’s beyond being a nakama, friend, lover, or protector.” 

“And how can you find them?” Chopper asks. 

“Everyone has a birthmark and your soulmate has the same as you,” Robin continues. “The legend says that destiny would reunite you two at some point in life.” 

Chopper and Luffy gasp. 

“Yeah, that sounds lovely and magical, too bad it’s just a legend and it isn’t real!” Nami exclaims.  

“What?” Chopper, Luffy, and now Sanji squeak in shock. 

“Nami-swan!? You don’t believe in soulmates?” The blond looks at her half-offended half-disillusioned. 

Nami shrugs. “I’ve seen so many people get disappointed when they can't find their ‘soulmate’.” 

“Hang on! I don’t think I have the mark,” says Luffy looking at every part of his rubber body. 

“Oh! It’s on the back of your left ankle,” Chopper points. “I thought it was just a spot, but...” he hums “It looks like a banana, actually,” he giggles. 

“What!? Really?” Luffy raises his leg and stretches it to find his birthmark. He laughs excitedly. 

“What about you, Usopp?” Chopper looks at him. “Do you believe in soulmates?” 

“Uuuh!” Luffy exclaims. “Is that girl from your home island your soulmate?” 

“Usopp’s face flushed in embarrassment as he crossed his arms. “Who? Kaya? I-I don’tI mean–” he stutters.  

“She doesn’t have to be his soulmate to be with him,” Zoro adds, rolling his eyes. 

“She’s not my–” Usopp squeaks. “I mean, we aren’t–It was just a kiss, it doesn’t–” he keeps trying to explain nervously. 

“See? Usopp found his soulmate!” Robin points with a smile. 

“What!? You’re not listening. I’m telling you that she’s not!” 

“I personally and fiercely believe in soulmates,” Sanji interrupts while he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt on his left arm. He shows them his mark in the form of a knife. “I know they exist somewhere and,” he smirks, “they’re giving me another reason to keep living and keep looking for them,” he says proudly. 

Zoro scoffs and chuckles shaking his head. “Still bullshit, no matter how hard you try to decorate it, cook.” 

Sanji frowns and looks at him. “These are facts, no matter how you make it sound, Moosehead. Even you have one. I don’t know how it could be possible, though...” he murmurs the last thing. 

Zoro groans. “Nothing’s fucking written or is out there. Nobody tells me what to do or who I have to be with. You can be with whomever you want, whenever you want, it’s stupid to waste time searching for a silly birthmark that could be just a fucking spot or scar on your skin,” Everyone looks at the swordsman when his tone increases and his body tenses as he talks. His lousy posture on the chair changes to a straightened one, and the veins around his muscles pop. 

“Wow, I think we’ve stroked a nerve there, uh Zoro?” Nami says unsure. 

Her voice makes him clear his head. Zoro sighs and returns to his sake. “I just think it’s a stupid thing to believe...” he shrugs. 

Nami hums and nods. She then looks at you. “What about you, Y/N?” But she stops and frowns as you give a start. “You’ve been oddly quiet about this,” The redhead looks down to your right arm, which is strongly grabbed by your other hand. 

“Well,” you clear your throat as you leave alone your upper arm, realizing Nami’s worried sight. “I’m not sure if it’s real or not,” you try to sound chill but fail. 

Nami is the only one who reads you, although she doesn’t know why you’re acting like that, she helps you by changing the subject to distract the others. 

Your friend’s voices fade away as your mind clouds in many thoughts. Instinctively, you grab your right arm again. On your inner bicep, there is tinted skin since birth, your soulmate’s mark, which you found not so long since you joined the straw hats crew, it’s the same form of three bamboo sticks that Zoro has tattooed on his left pectoral. 

 ** 

It has always been hard for Zoro to connect with other people. He calls himself a loner, but situations in life make him change that. First was his friend Kuina; although she passed away, he learned a lot thanks to her. Like Loyalty, keeping promises and love.  

Then, Luffy jumped into his life and, in Luffy’s style, he shook Zoro’s mind with new lessons. As his crew got bigger, Zoro learned the real meaning of being a nakama. His trust grew with the straw hats (within his limits, of course). 

Finally, you came along the way, a person Zoro never thought he needed until he had you. It all happened so naturally for him, to follow every movement you made, to look for you, to search your voice and laughter, and to hold your smaller hand. 

If the others knew deep into his thoughts, they’d understand why he snapped at the idea of soulmates. He’s confident that his life is based on his strengths, decisions, and his guts. Magic or anything else didn’t do it. Him and only him. And maybe, that’s why he got distracted when Nami changed the subject so quickly and he hasn’t thought about it ever since. For now, he has more important things to care about… like you acting weird, avoiding and hiding from him and he doesn’t know why. 

He has learned to give you time sometimes, but he senses something different, and it has been five days since you two had a real conversation. “You’ve been avoiding me.” 

“You should be at the market,” you answer without looking at him. You don’t stop in your tracks either. “Lost again?” 

He scoffs rolling his eyes (yes, he got lost). “I’m worried,” he says in a serious tone. 

“You shouldn’t, I’ll help you.” 

“Hey,” he grabs your wrist and makes you turn to him. Your eyes fidget everywhere else but him. “What’s wrong?” 

“What?” 

“Don’t bullshit me,” he warns then, he sighs relaxing his features, then grabs your chin and makes you look at him. “Why don’t you want to talk?” 

You sigh stepping away from his hand. “It’s nothing,” you whisper. 

Zoro doesn’t think twice about grabbing your waist and pulling you to him in a big hug. You gasp at the sudden movement, but your body recognizes his warmth and strength, so you melt against him. You hide your face on his broad chest as you feel his lips on your hair. He hugs you for a while, humming and caressing your hips. 

“I thought, I was the one with the communication issues, don’t take my place now,” You can feel his stupid smirk as you scoff rolling your eyes. 

As always, his touch and voice relax your mind and body and the anxiety fades a little. You step back and raise your head to look at him. 

“There you are,” he smiles. He caresses your cheek as you prepare yourself to confess. 

You aren’t sure exactly why you are so afraid. It's not like Zoro’s gonna change, right? But the unknown terrifies you, that’s why you haven’t told him in all this time since you found out. And after that soulmate’s talk the other day, the anxiety kicks in instantly. 

“Th-the other night…uh- Y-you said that. I mean…ugh!” You grunt. “Is- is that what you… of soulmates?” You make a face. 

Zoro takes a moment to remember and then, he gets it. “Is that what’s all about? That legend? You believe in it, don’t you?” He frowns. 

Your heart sinks. “I- I know...” you want to talk about your birthmark, but he interrupts you with another big hug.  

“It’s okay, Doll,” he shrugs “I don’t care if you do.” 

You frown. “But Zoro I–” you try to talk against his chest. 

“I knew what I was getting into when we started dating.” 

“What?” You lean back.  

“Yeah,” he smirks looking down at you “I knew you were crazy since you joined the crew anyway,” he shrugs.  

“What!? Hey!” You punch his chest as he bursts into laughter. “You fucking idiot,” you said incapable to hide your smile. 

The goofy moment is gone when you both hear an explosion not so far from the Sunny. 

** 

When you open your eyes, you see Chopper’s office. You try to move, but there’s a sharp pain on your left shoulder that makes you whine. 

“Hey, stop. You’ll open the wound!” Zoro helps you to get more comfortable on the med bed and he gives you some water. 

“W-what happened?” You ask with a groan. 

“You did a stupid, reckless thing. That’s what happened,” he groans. 

“What?” 

“The Marines almost caught you,” he clenches his jaw. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead.” 

The memory flashes in your mind, you helped Nami and Robin fight against the Marines, but you got distracted for a second and then nothing. Zoro sits on a chair next to you, but then Chopper enters and climbs on your bed. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, voice and face in serious doctor mode. 

“It hurt,” you smile at the adorable doctor. 

“I’ll give you stronger pain killers,” he moves naturally around his office and back to you, checking your wounds. “All right, you have to rest in bed, no excuses!” he warns you. “And I’ll help you clean your wounds, after that Zoro can do it.” 

Zoro nods. “Anything else, Doctor?” He smirks at him. 

“Hmmm…” Chopper thinks. “Ah! Yes! Why you didn’t tell us that you two are soulmates?” He asks innocently. 

“Uh?” Zoro frowns. You try to warn him with your eyes, but Chopper only frowns at you.  

“She has the same mark as you!” He exclaims happy, but then, he senses something odd and stutters looking between you and Zoro as he gets nervous. “Uh… maybe I’m wrong?” He laughs awkwardly. 

“It can happen to anybody, Chopper,” you continue with a tense smile. 

Both of you laugh, then somebody calls to Chopper and he runs away. 

“Well, I think I’m kinda hungry, Zoro,” you try to sound like nothing happened but you look at the swordsman. His body stays tense on the chair and his eyes are glued to somewhere in the room. “Zoro?” You wait for a while, getting worried. You grab his hand. “Zoro?” 

“Where?” He asks. 

“Uh?” 

His eyes return to you. “Where is it? Is it–Is it true?” 

You sigh as you carefully move the sheet that covers your body. Your upper body’s wrapped in just bandages and a thin top covering your breasts, but you turn a little and hiss when you raise your right arm enough to show him the three bamboo sticks. Zoro stands up and leans to softly grab your arm as his other hand traces the mark on his chest.  

He lets go and sits again. “That’s why you avoided me,” he says to himself. “The things I said… but you are… the mark...”  

“Are you broken?” You ask him, and he looks at you. Zoro notices your teary eyes and worried expression. 

It’s a lot to process for him. A minute ago, he was angry because he couldn’t protect you enough to prevent your wounds, now he has discovered that the bullshit he always listened to it’s real and in front of him… all this time. Out of nowhere, Zoro chuckles and shakes his head. 

“Oh, no...” you whine. “I did break you!” 

“I-fuck, now everyone’s gonna mock me,” he grunts looking at you. His cheeks flush as he raises a hand to clean a tear dropping out. “I’m sorry.” 

“Wh-why?” 

“For saying those things, now I understand I...” he sighs. “Well, now I get why I always wanted to be at your side,” he makes a face and you couldn’t help but chuckle. You’re still confused but relieved at the same time, you never expected that reaction, but it's better. 

“It wasn’t ‘cause I’m the most beautiful girl?” You tease. He laughs. 

“Yeah, that too,” he takes your hand and kisses it. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner… I thought...” 

“No, it’s okay,” he nods. “It’s better this way, at least in my head I fell for ya’ ‘cause I wanted to.”  

You smile. “Me too. The tattoo was something extra.” 

He chuckles and leans to kiss you. 

Taglist.

@sosactrl @irethepotato

[jinxs-gf]

songs explain what I can’t.

best friend!jinx x musician!reader

summary: you’re writing a song to confess your feelings to your best friend. only it does the opposite and your best friend believes her feelings for you are unrequited.

content, warnings: pics have nothing to do w readers appearance. modern au, reader is in a band, slight misunderstanding

word count: 1.1k

a.n. another request!! thank you <3

Jinx watches as you announce a newly written song. You seem more nervous and jittery than you'd usually be when performing a new project for the first time. It makes Jinx anxious for you, wishing she could soothe away your clear distress. Only you wouldn't let her.

For the past few months you'd been trying to make the perfect song. At least that's what it felt like to her. You shut her down every time she asked about it.

Her best friend subtly pushed her away. And it was tearing her apart.

You were—are everything to her. She’s never loved someone as strongly as she loves you. Never been loved as strongly as you love her. Though you two feel different types of love. Yours more platonic compared to hers…

You two shared everything with each other. Secrets that hadn’t been uttered to anyone else, delicate touches and words of intimacy.

Jinx wasn’t sure where the line was between platonic and romantic. A friend and a partner.

She’s never truly had anyone that filled both those categories. So how was she supposed to know how to distinguish the two?

She came to the conclusion that your actions were merely platonic, convincing herself that no one could ever really like—love her enough to want something more.

And she was okay with that (not really).

The song you’re presenting a sound she hasn't heard before, at least not from you. It was softer and sweeter than your usual punk-rockish sound. And in another life she'd love it. But in this one?

Jinx hears the song and gets...sad. Because there's a name in there and it isn't hers. you're singing about being in love with a woman that isn't jinx. And now she isn't sure what to feel. What to think. Because-

She convinced herself that she was just fine with you thinking of her as a friend. But the song was about falling in love with a close friend. It seemed like a clear homage to your friendship. It sounded like it was a song written about her. Blue hair described and all. And it references moments only the two of you have shared. Yet you sing another name.

Why would you hide this from her? Why wouldn’t you let her in on this person? Why why why…

Jinx would praise you and claim to love the song once it was over. Your routine after a performance was to run to her and engulf her in a big hug. Pouring all your adrenaline into the arms of your best friend. A hug that was oh so welcomed.

Her tattooed arms would squeeze you, while she hung onto the cloud of your affection and scent. A scent she’d admit she was probably weirdly obsessed with…

While you talked her ear off about how amazing the audience made you feel. Jinx loved listening to your post-performance talk sessions.

Every damn time without fail.

She’s not sure she can handle you going into detail about this new song though. It would surely break her. It’s okay, she reassures herself. Just try. Try to be supportive about this. Like you always do.

She holds her breath the moment the set is over. And as expected, you run down the stage and straight to her.

Except your hug feels less excited…

Was it because of the person you wrote about in your song? Have you been pulling away because of them?

“So…what did you think?”

Jinx responds, overly enthusiastic, “amazing! Just like always. You sure have a way with words.” And the last bit sounded bitter.

It left a bad taste in your mouth.

You wince, “really? Was it that bad?” You feel the need to explain yourself, “listen, I’m sorry I’ve been pulling away. But I needed the song to be good. I needed to get my point across and I didn’t want you to find out because it would ruin-”

Jinx is aware that the last thing you need right now is attitude, but finds herself rolling her eyes anyways. Your words make her feel like you know how she feels towards you, and that makes her feel exposed.

She grows defensive.

“Didn’t want me to find out because what? Any excuse you try to give me won’t be a good enough answer. You should’ve just told me about this girl you’re so infatuated with instead of keeping secrets.”

You gape at her, your band mates had awkwardly ushered the crowd away, sensing the tension before the argument even started.

“I- what girl? Jinx, the song is about you.”

“…What?”

“I know the song doesn’t explicitly name you, but I thought it was…obvious. I don’t know.”

The song was about falling in love with a close friend. That close friend being her. You were singing about her. You’re in love with her.

Well at least that’s been cleared up but…Jinx still feels defensive. If not a little offended.

"Why not? You don't want people to know you love me?"

"Of course I want people to! But I didn't want you to know. Up until now I thought we were just friends and that...that's all you wanted from me. I thought that y’know, this would be a cool confession. If you hated it I could just be like ‘hey no worries, the song isn’t about you anyways’.” You shrug helplessly.

"Silly goose. Of course I want you as more than a friend! What about the endless gifts I handmade? And how touchy-feely I am? That's all reserved specifically for you."

"Well I don't know how you are around your other friends!"

"I don't have other friends."

"Oh...how was I-"

She gives you no time to formulate a sentence. Usually you'd be annoyed at your best friend for interrupting you, but when she does it like this? By kissing you? Yeah you could get around to liking it.

And Jinx would normally be annoyed at your rambling only because she couldn't shut you up with a kiss. Yes she loved listening to you talk but sometimes you needed to slow down a bit.

And she could finally do that.

It was hungry, she refused to pull away. Allowing herself to practically eat you alive after all the pining she’s had to endure, thinking it was all one sided. It left your breathless, she seemed pretty keen on not letting you go.

You reluctantly pull away, trying to give yourself time to process everything. So much has happened in so little time.

She chases your lips, clearly not satisfied with the time she’s had with her lips on yours.

You give yourself about 5 seconds to cool off from the very dizzying kiss before you're rambling again.

"I don't exactly feel special anymore. I thought you chose to hang out with me because you loved me more than your other friends. Now-"

"Shut up," and she's kissing you again.

hey jinx lovers :P it’s good to be back

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXXII

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Aah… Alastor's point of view. 20k words my dear readers! Oh, how I hope you will enjoy it. This might be very disturbing for some of you, but well... We are talking about Alastor, right? Do give me your thoughts. TW: Gore, cannibalism, smut, death, gore, Alastor's mind.

Alastor stood up from his chair with so much strength his seat fell behind him. He passed his hand through his hair, his mind running miles by seconds. He knew what he saw, he was sure of it and yet it couldn’t be possible. When you were in that state, no one could see you. He was the only one… So why?

Now wasn’t the time to think, but to act. He sended his shadow toward you, he didn’t care if Alice and Alyzée were in danger, he had other priorities.  You would always be the first person he thought about. He sended his shadow toward you and sat back on his chair once he calmed himself. 

He took a deep breath, sitting on his chair, his face in his hands. He could feel his shadow toward you after a few minutes. That made his body relax, you were fine, you were in your home, away from any danger. He inhaled strongly before leaning on his chair, sighing. He knew you by heart. He was sure you were going to ask his shadow or yours to check on Alice and Alyzée…

He called Victor in his office and asked him to bring him Alice and Alyzée. Victor seemed confused but he couldn’t say no to him. The boy was respecting so much, he didn’t dare say no. Alastor gave Victor the information to find  where Alice and Alyzée were and then he waited patiently.

His plan was simple. Bringing the two women to him to make sure you wouldn't use your power again until he was back home. He was staring at the door for he didn’t know how many minutes until he heard a knock and stood up when Alice and Alyzée entered his room. Victor then closed the door behind the two women who were staring at him: Alice seemed annoyed while Alyzée looked confused.

“ We were in the middle of a date, Alastor.” Sighed Alice, turning a lock of her blonde hair with her finger.

“ Well, I know, my dear friend!” He gave her his usual smile before standing up and giving a seat to the two women. “ I wanted to ask you some things that bothered me.” He looked at the two women who were staring at him, waiting for his command… Well, he was sure Alyzée would do what he asked.. Alice, she was more of a brat than a woman, she would say no just to piss him off. “ I need to know what is going on inside the police.”

“ Isn’t your wife the daughter of an officer?” Alyzée tilted her head, confused. 

“ Indeed, she is, but it also means that if information is being leaked, she would be on the list of suspects. I need information that her father isn’t aware of.” He sat on his chair, with his charming smile. He was staring at Alice, he knew she would do anything to make sure you were safe, in that regard he was grateful that she was protective of you. He knew he could use her for your safety.

“ What kind of information do you need?” Alice asked, crossing her legs, staring at him. She was ready for business, perfect.

“ I need information on the policemen that are on my father’s case.” He said, looking at Alyzée as her face turned sad.

“ Oh, Alastor…” 

He almost rolled his eyes. She must have thought he was sad because the case of his father had never been closed.  She was really naive, he was almost surprised nobody turned her naivety against her… Well, with Alice by her side, he wasn't surprised. But let’s put all chances on his side.

“ I think my father must have been captured or… worse, by the police themselves. After all these years, they didn’t find anything. I think … It might be because he married a black woman.. They think he isn’t worth it.” He said, lowering his head, trying to stifle his laugh. He almost roared with laughter when he heard Alyzée’s words of compassion. She then left to bring him something to drink. He lifted his head and stared at Alice who was looking at him unimpressed. 

“ Do you think you are funny?”

“ Absolutely hilarious!” He laughed as he leaned back against his seat. “ Oh dear, your lady is very naive, I’m almost worried about the poor thing.” He smirked.

“ So, why do you need to have a spy in the police?”

“ John Felleur. I first thought he was obsessed about me and my wife, but I feel like there is more than that.”

“ You think he knows about what you have done?”

“ Well,” Alastor sighed, passing a hand in his hair. “ He thinks he knows that I killed my father, but I don't know if he has clues. Furthermore, I need to be sure he doesn’t spread his belief.” He said, grinning at Alice who nodded.

“ I see… Do you think that’s why he followed her last time? And that he managed to help her escape the stalker?”

Alastor looked at Alice, he wasn’t surprised you told this accident to your best friend, he expected it. He explained vaguely that he needed to know if John had created fake proofs against him so he could separate you. With his popularity nowaday, to make Alastor disappear would be hard, but he needed to know what was going on. What if John managed to surround himself with powerful people to take him down. After all, the name Felleur was important in New Orleans…

“ Well, even if I married a Felleur now, I’m still a RicheMont.” said Alice with a confident smile. “ I will have dinner with my family in law, and I shall see if I can find clues about John. If not, trust me, Trey will help us.” she smiled.

Alastor nodded and shook Alice’s hand when she promised him she would place a spy in the police, under RicheMont's name. He smirked, even after all those years, Alice was still a useful tool.

When Alyzée came back with a hot coffee, Alastor drank it and listened to the woman’s reassurance about how his father was alive and he wished for nothing more than coming back. He managed to hold his laughter, even if it was hard. Especially when Alyzée asked Alice to give him faith that his father would come back.

“ Yeah… yes, Alastor, don’t worry… Daddy will be back.” snorted Alice.

“ Alice!”

After a while, the two ladies took their leave and Alastor stood up. Now, he just had to go home and meet with his lovely wife. He took his car’s keys, said goodbye to Victor who beamed at his salutations and then drove home. 

But the more he was getting closer to his house, the more anxious he felt. He had the strange sensation his shadow, that was supposed to be with you, was reeling, reckless, angry and afraid. Those feelings weren’t supposed to exist when you were around. He drove faster and quickly entered your shared home.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw the scene. You were kneeling in front of your injured shadow while his own shadow snarled at you. What happened..?

“ What? You don’t want me to heal you?”

“ And they are right, my love.” 

You turned your face toward the door and smiled at Alastor who was clearly irritated. How did you manage to get injured? How? He wanted to pluck his hair out from his skull but he needed to stay calm. He wouldn’t accomplish anything if he let his emotions take hold of his mind. He walked toward your shadow and looked at its injury. How could it happen…? How could someone hurted a shadow..? He looked at you and you quickly told him everything that happened. And yet, he was left with more questions than answers…

“ Mhn..We need answers. Kalfu, come here.”

“ Papa Legba, would you please join us?”

You watched as the two spirits were leaning comfortably against the wall. Kalfu was smirking, it seemed like he was enjoying himself, like usual... Legba was looking at you with his usual warm expression. You stood up with Alastor and everyone went into the kitchen.

“ I have questions. Would you betray us?” Alastor asked, drinking the coffee you made him.

“ Alastor!”

“ No offense taken, little lady.” Papa Legba said with a genuine smile. “ What is a betrayal for you? If you are asking if I will give others an access to the spiritual realm, as long as they give me a sacrifice, I will.” Alastor’s smile twitched. That wasn't great news…

You frowned at his answer.

“ Then, if I fight against someone who works with you… How are we going to deal with it? Would you tell our secret to them?”

“ Why would I do that? I will give access to a spirit they want to work with, nothing more.” Legba tilted his head, watching you calmly. “ If you were to fight with someone I helped, I won’t intervene, it is only your control over your powers that will help you.”

“ But I know my wife is your protégée, right?” Alastor asked with his usual smile. He knew that Papa Legba’s got fond of you. He was caring about you like you were his granddaughter. He would help you without asking for a sacrifice in exchange… The spirit couldn’t lie, Alastor knew his wife was protected by one of the most important spirits in the Voodoo’s realm.

“ Is Kalfu’s protégée Alastor?” you asked curiously. You flinched when Kalfu roared with a mocking laughter.

“ Ooh, yes he is. But unlike your sweet relationship with Legba, I won’t run to save Alastor’s life. He can save his own, if not, why would I be there? I can help him in other ways, but don’t call me for sweet things like saving his life. Isn't that why you are here, little missy?”

You looked at Alastor who nodded, smirking mockingly at Kalfu. Of course, if your relationship with Legba was like grandfather and granddaughter, his relationship with Kalfu was more twisted. They always tried to trip the other into some kind of deal that would make one have the upper hands. Alastor knew Kaflu wouldn’t let him die… If you were in a critical situation, Legba would heal you. If he was in a critical situation, Kalfu would give him power to kill his enemy.

Same goal, differents methods.

“ How could my shadow be hurted like this?”

You looked at the three men in front of you.Alastor looked at the spirits, he needed to know what happened back there. Was someone using Voodoo too? That’s  why they managed to injure your shadow? Legba crossed his arms after smoking, his pipe fuming in a smoothing way.

“ Well, you saw it yourself , didn’t you?”

“ What do you mean?” you asked, making a cold chocolate for you.

“It was an offering, aren’t you not used to seeing them now?” Alastor asked, stroking your cheeks. You could be such an airhead, sometime… “ From what you told me, the lamb was an offering.” He looked at Legba who nodded. “ Was it for you?”

“I’m more of a rooster man. This offering wasn’t for me.”

He looked at Kalfu who was smirking at you. This spirit really enjoyed making people afraid of him, he wasn’t going to lie, Alastor could understand the appeal. Now, he needed to think. From what Legba had just said, Voodoo’s users could work with Christianity. Did it mean that they could also cause harm to each other..? How could he measure his strength against someone that might be using Christianity power..? Did that mean… They could work with angels..? He heard about people that have seen angels or heard them, what if some people could work with them just like you and he were working with spirits.

He turned his gaze toward the light that was emanating from Papa Legba. It seemed like the spirit had healed your shadow. He observed as his own shadow began to tease your shadow to make sure it was back to normal.

“ Then, is it possible for them to work with angels?”

“ It is highly possible, even more so if they had a Bible with them.”

“ Mhn, It’s not my favorite hypothesis.” Laughed Kalfu with a smirk, looking at you with a knowing smile. Alastor stared at his spirit, his smile never faltering. “ Now, I have other things to do, if you excuse me.”

He sighed once Kalfu vanished. You walked toward him and kissed his cheek which made him look at you.

“ Ahh, darling, do you want me to die younger because of stress?” He said as he tugged you on his laps, his arms around your waist. You tilted your head as he kept talking. “ I sended Victor to take care of the girls so you would go back home, and yet… You went into the big bad wolf’s mouth, not even planning something. I taught you better than that, right?” He purred, his lips against your cheek.

You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder.

“ I’m sorry. I was… too excited I think.”

Alastor hummed against your skin as he watched both of your shadows playing with each other. In a way, they seemed…oddly innocent. 

“ Don’t you think they acted like us when we were younger?” you giggled as Alastor’s shadow poked yours on its cheek, making it snarl at it.

“ I think the same… But they are deadlier.” Alastor gave you a sinister smile which made you shiver. You kissed his lips, humming as he kissed you back. You pushed your body against his, making him dig his nail deeper in your skin. You whispered against his lips.

“ You don’t feel sick anymore..?” 

“ I was not sick dear, I was just… tired.” he kissed you back before you could answer, making you chuckle against his lips. He was feeling excited with all of this news. When  was the last time the both of you had to hunt something big? Maybe something bigger than yourself. Oh, he couldn’t wait to play his games with you and your new targets.

—----

It’s been two months since you discovered your new ‘enemies’. He didn't expect to find nothing about them after months of searching. And what was worse, was that he could see this was taking a toll on you. Alastor and you went into the abandoned building, multiple times to search through every floor and you didn't find anything. It felt like they cleaned everything before vanishing.

And that was making you sick. He could see you were looking for danger anywhere, even when the both of you were in bed, you would stay awake, keeping Eamon against you while he would read you a story until you would fall asleep. He was worried, he had never seen you like this before.

You were sleeping less, you had nausea and you were getting emotional with the lack of sleep. Sometimes you could cry because Alastor came later than usual and you thought he had been killed by the couple you couldn’t find. He demanded you to stop thinking about it, that he would take care of it alone, for your safety and health. But the day he said those words, you almost became hysterical. 

You killed his father, it was your first time and yet you never been this… sick about it. He was really worried. He went to his mother to ask her what she thought about it, not about the murder of course, but of your symptoms. She asked if you were feeling stressed which he confirmed. She gave him some leaves to put into tea to relax the mind and the body. He wondered if you would take it, you weren’t a fan of tea after all… 

Baron Samedi seemed to stick to your side with a knowing smile which infuriated Alastor. The spirit who reigns over the dead was silent as a tomb when he asked about your well being. He almost jumped at the spirit’s throat but contained himself. If Baron Samedi was fond of you and wanted to make you his protégée it would be perfect.

He lifted his hand when he felt your presence downstairs. Why were you at his workplace? Did something happen ? No, you wouldn’t come here in daylight because something happened with your next target. Did you have a surprise for him?

He couldn’t contain his smile when he heard your footsteps running toward his door. Since childhood, you always were the one running to where he was. You had all of the outside world to discover and yet you threw yourself at him, even if it meant staying in a cage, away from others. In his room, where his twisted and wicked mind was working, where he would whisper sweet nothing to you but also how to kill a man as painful as you could do.

He turned his head toward the door that you smashed open. He smiled fondly as he saw your face, your eyes shining like always. He would doom himself for your eyes, as bright as the sun and yet as soothing as the moon. You always were watching him fondly, no matter his state.

“ Well, darling, you look like you ran from something… or someone? Did you see them?” you smiled as his eyes flashed red when he asked you if you ran into the catholic couple. From your face, he could tell it wasn’t about them but he needed to be sure. You shook your head as you took his hand and placed it against your cheek.

“ No, no… I… I have good news. Well, I hope it’s going to be good news…”

You kept your gaze on his face,  taking his hand from your cheek to place it against your belly. He tilted his head, confused.  Were you worried you had gained weight again? He told you he always loved to bite you, he liked when his teeth hit your bones or plugged into your flesh… He almost shook his hand, he could almost feel himself salivating.

“ I’m pregnant.”

…

What?

He blinked, his smile dropping without him noticing. You were pregnant? You? You were pregnant?... You?

He kneeled in front of you, confused but fascinated. He was used to the both of you killing. He loved it, the feeling of taking someone's life, being the one in control of everything, he felt lightheaded with this feeling. You weren’t completely like him, but he knew you enjoyed taking a life if it meant that you protected him.

So, how did you two manage to create life?

But quickly, his thoughts became darker. You were pregnant, with his child… He smiled widely, you just attached yourself to him into another level. You accepted his seed and began to create a whole human inside of you… He almost fainted because of the wicked pleasure he felt at that moment.

“ You… I’ve made you… pregnant?” he asked softly, lifting his head up to watch you. You chuckled as you stroke his cheeks, your voice soft.

“ Yes.. I’m carrying your child.”

“Our child.” he corrected you. It was important that you knew that, he only cared about it because it had half of you and half of himself.

“ Yes… Our child.” You smiled at him, your eyes getting teary. He scooped you in his arms, laughing. 

“ Who would have thought ! There is something… in your belly that we created together…” He stared at you in fascination. His shadow was already touching your belly with childish wonder before rushing toward your shadow and touching its belly. 

He took you home, kissed your face multiple times during the ride, smirked when you giggled while asking him to keep his eyes on the road. You said you would tell the news to your parents the next day which he said he was going to inform his mother at the same time.

The next day, he drove you to your parents home before going to his mother’s. The house didn’t change, but he could see flowers that weren’t there when he left his mother to move out with you. He left his car before knocking at the door and smiled when his mother opened the door, smiling happily at him.

That view made killing his father worth it.

“ So, bébé, what can I do for you?” she asked as she gave him a black coffee before sitting on her chair. He stared at her with an amused smile, dropping the news just before drinking his coffee.

“ You are going to have a grandchild.” 

Marie stared at him, before standing up so fast Alastor thought she would fall. She ran into his arms, screaming in joy with tears in her eyes. He hugged her with a soft smile, she seemed so happy, he didn't understand why.

She asked about your wellbeing, how you were feeling and if he was happy to be a father. He tilted his head, smiling at her without saying a word. He didn’t care about being a father, he didn’t care about the child… He cared about the meaning behind it, the fact that he created something with you that will live on. 

But he couldn’t say that to his mother, he knew she would look at him with sadness, like she was devastated that he couldn’t share her joy about this news. Since he was a child, his mother would sometimes look at him with so much sadness, and it was when he had the most fun. When he was killing animals, when he killed his father… She would hug him strongly, like she was trying to keep him with her. Maybe she was trying to save his soul, clinging to him so God would take pity and forgive him?

His mother was too sweet…

After listening to his mother’s advice about taking care of a baby and a pregnant woman, he turned his head toward the door when he heard a knock. Marie seemed confused but went to open the door and smile at the man in front of her.

“ Mister Felleur, please come on in.”

Alastor smirked while drinking his coffee. Felleur, huh..? that must be Alice’s husband. He stood up when he saw Trey walking inside the living room with a soft smile. He shook the man’s hand before his Mother went into the kitchen to bring some drinks.

Trey sat on the sofa, smiling at Alastor. It seemed like he came here to see him, but how did he know he was at his mother’s place? Most of the time, people who wanted to see him would go to his workplace. 

“ Well, Mr. Felleur, it seemed like you were looking for me. Isn’t it a little bit rude to go to my mother’s house?” Alastor asked with his usual smile, drinking his coffee while staring at the man.

“ I’m sorry it looks bad but I went to your workplace and didn’t find you. A man, Victor, said you might be at your mother’s place and I have a request that couldn’t wait for you to come back.” Trey said with a sad smile. The man was looking at Alastor with pleading eyes. “ I need your help. I want you to work with my cousin, John Felleur on the serial killer’s case.”

Hah !

Were all the Felleur such idiots? He hid his smile behind his cup while staring at the man in front of him. Trey said there was a new victim but the person was a woman, and it was not the usual serial killer routine. Alastor nodded with a , he hoped, sad smile.

“ This is horrible, but how could I help you? I’m only a radio host.”

“ Don’t be so modest, Alastor. You have all of New Orleans’s attention with your broadcast. The serial killer might be listening to you. You could try to upset him by ridiculing him which would make them get messy.” Trey seemed to try to convert a plan to catch the killer. Alastor almost rolled his eyes at him. What kind of killer would be upset about what people say about them? 

When you kill, you don’t care about what the living says, you care about this special moment with your victim.

But if he could find new information within the police, why not accept. At the moment, Alice’s spies didn’t find anything worth motioning and he was curious about the woman’s corpse. How did this copycat kill… ?

Alastor stood up and shook Trey’s hand with a charming smile. After giving his regard to his mother, Trey and Alastor walked outside and he wasn’t surprised to see John waiting against his cousin’s car.

“ John, Mr. Sanglar accepted to help you. How nice of him, right!”Trey smiled at John with a smile so pure it almost made Alastor gag. How disgustingly pure… Alastor smiled at John who frowned. Now that was funnier! John couldn’t hide his emotions from him, which made him amusing to play with.

“ How nice, indeed…”

“ Now, now, my dear fella! Don’t look so gloomy! It’s such a great day!” Cheered Alastor.

“ Someone died today!” Spat John.

“ That’s what people do my dear John. Give me a day where no one died.”

“ … “ 

“ Exactly! Now, shall we go?” Alastor clapped his hand as Trey tried to cheer his cousin up. Alastor sat behind his steering wheel as John sat next to him. He followed the policeman’s directions until they arrived at the murder’s location. Alastor quickly left his car, excited to see the murder. 

“ I won’t lie. I don’t think the kill was made by the serial killer.” whispered John, peeking at Alastor who was walking next to him. Alastor looked at the man. Now, he knew John was an intelligent man, only a fool would tell otherwise. But he wasn’t more intelligent than him. Poor man.

“ Why is that?”

“ From the injuries the victims had on her body, it almost looks identical to other murder but, first of all she is a woman and for now the serial killer never touched a woman. Second of all… Well, you’ll see.”

Alastor walked inside the house and looked at the dead woman's body, on the ground, it looked oddly clean for a murder. Well, a smile has been carved on her face, like he used to do but unlike his usual ways of carving, he could see the killer began to cut from the left. When he carved a smile he would always stare by the right, because he knew you would take the right eye. He would begin where you started.

Talking about the eyes, he could see the woman had her left eye taken. Well, well… It seemed like the person who did that wasn’t alone. Most of the time when you were with him, you would take the eye first and then he would carve the smile. That way, you wouldn’t bother  each other when you did your thing. Here, he could see clearly, the way the smile had been carved was messy. Like the killer was bothered by someone because they tried to take the eye.

He could see everything clearly. They were two killers. And that would almost make him worried if he wasn’t so sure of himself. Two killers, a man and a woman. He could see it from the injuries. He could see the bruises around the woman's face and neck. The man must have killed the victims…

He stared at the corpse’s face. Oh! How could he not notice? All of the injuries were made postmortem, well, at least the eye and the smile.  The wound was made post mortem because there were no blood markings. He experimented so many times, when someone or an animal  dies, blood no longer flows through the body. Did they were too scared to torture the woman when she was alive?

“ So, I think this is a copycat. Most of the time, the serial killer I’m after left the corpse like right now. But there is so much blood, from every injury. They torture their vicitms while they are alive. Here, as you can see, or as you know,” he stared at Alastor with a heavy gaze,” the bruises have been made after the woman’s death. And they took the left eye while the serial killer took the right one.”

Alastor nodded while looking at John. John was intelligent, he was a great policeman, a great investigator. Alastor was almost a little bit surprised about who quickly John saw it was a fake kill. Someone was trying to frame him? He looked around the house while John was staring at him. 

He couldn’t see any mess. It seemed like the woman let her executioners

 come to her, fully trusting them. Who do we let inside our home without feeling threatened.

Police, Nurses, Family, Lover…

He froze when he heard John mumbled.

“ May you rest in peace. Amen.”

Religion huh..?

Nobody would feel threatened by someone who claimed their love for God.. right? He smirked, rolling his eyes. He would keep it in mind. After all, how many people did kill for their religion?

But why would they kill like that..? He shook his head, sighing with a wicked smile. How interesting ! He couldn’t help but wish to hear your thoughts about it. 

After this exciting day he went to your parent’s place to take you back home. You quickly asked him if he knew about the woman’s death. Oh, so you knew about it ? You little sneaky thing, not telling your husband right away.

“ Did you know about the woman who was killed ?” you turned your head toward your husband.

“ Yes, dear. I just learned it today. What are your thoughts?” he took one of your hands in his hand before kissing the back of it, his eyes still on the road.  He was so excited to hear your thoughts, did you wish for revenge? death? 

“ I… I don’t know? I think it would be nice to let them be caught and not us but… Someone using our title and killing innocent people is making me angry. Furthermore, what if they knew we were the killer of all the previous victims? What if they knew more than they let on?” you bit your lips, looking at Alastor with a new determination. “ We need to find them.”

“ Finding a stalker, finding a copycat, life is always entertaining with you my love!” Laughed Alastor with an excited smile. “ I went to the crime scene this morning, guess who invited me?” he looked at you, beaming at your confused look. “ The one and only John Felleur ! It seemed like his cousin, Alice’s husband, forced him to work with me to find the serial killer.”

“ Wait, why would Trey want you to work with John?”

“ Well, from what I heard, he wants this killer to be found as soon as possible. And he told John I could be useful to trap the murderer.” He smirked.

“ And how is that possible?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“ With my radio, dear! This copycat must want to be like us because they want to be the star of the show~! They want people to think about them, the radio to talk about them, and the world to know about their evil deeds.”

“ But, we are the real serial killer…” you were so confused.

“ Exactly, dear, so if I play my cards right, they would want to have a real name for themselves and so they would look for us, to get rid of us.” He smirked as he parked in front of your house. �� And then, we will kill them. Or send them to the police, I’m still not sure.”

Alastor walked inside your shared home and looked as you went upstairs. He decided he would cook some Crawfish Etouffee. It’s been a long time since you ate one! He let you rest upstairs and then walked to your bedroom when he finished cooking. He walked inside your bedroom and smiled at your sleeping form, hugging Eamon against you. 

“ Dearest, wake up, dinner is served.”

He looked as you woke up, and immediately smiled at him. Hha… You really didn’t know what you were doing to him. You little tease.

You went downstairs and began to eat as you talked about your baby. He didn’t say anything but just watched you. He wondered if your excitement was different from his? You were excited about the baby, while he was excited about the symbolism behind it… He could see your eyes change, like you were worried about something. Ah, you must be worried he wasn’t as excited as you about the baby. How cute.

After dinner, he sat in the living room while you roamed toward his office. He closed his eyes, thinking about the murder he saw this morning. So, it seemed like there was a couple, just like the both of you, that have decided to kill a woman. What for? Did they know who was behind all the crimes? Was it really just a stupid copycat? He frowned, crossing his arms on his torso. 

He didn’t realize he stayed inside his thoughts until he heard you shout for him. He opened his eyes and stood up before walking toward his office. He entered with a knowing smile when he saw you with the shadows around you and a Voodoo book.

“ Dearest?”

“ Do you think you could create a Voodoo’s doll?” you asked him. He tilted his head before looking at his shadow which explained to him everything that happened. He could hear his shadow’s voice inside his mind clearly, it was like its own voice. So your shadow had the stalker’s blood. How amazing would you be?

“ Oh, interesting…” Alastor purred, walking toward you and your shadow which was still buzzing with excitement. He took the book from your hands and looked at your shadow with a wicked smile. “ Let’s get to work.”

You nodded, smiling widely at him. Alastor opened a secret door, behind a fake shelf, and you walked into the room. He was surprised when he first found this place, but it turned out to be useful. 

“ How are you going to make one..?”

“Most of them are filled with soft cotton that is bendable. The pins must be sharp so they can easily pierce the doll, without any effort. This shows how the  targeted person is weak and very manipulatable.I should use moss… But, cotton, straw and old rags could also be used. There is far less rigidity in its materiality, however, many items of the doll are specific to the spirit to be invoked. The color, for instance, can help attract a certain desired spirit, as the food arranged around the doll can.” he said, working on the doll while explaining everything to you.

He always loved how curious you were. From the most innocent thing, like how he loved his coffee to what was his preferred way of killing. You never change, always curious, searching for answers. He wondered if your child would be the same…

“ You are going to invoke another spirit..?” you frowned. 

“ Yes, but not something… Very powerful. I’m just going to have a spirit tail the man, so we can see where he lives.” he smirked, looking at the ceiling with an excited glint in his eyes. “ If I can hurt him the way he hurted you, I might let myself get tempted.” He didn't need to invoke a powerful spirit, come on, he was Alastor Sanglar, Kalfu’s protégée and Legba’s blood were inside his body. 

You crossed your arms on your chest, frowning.

“ He was supposed to be my prey.”

“ What is yours is mine, and what is mine is yours, isn’t it, dear?” he chuckled when he felt your lips on his cheek. 

“ You are lucky I love you.” you mumbled against his skin.

“ I know.”

Was it strange for him to feel almost nothing with those words? For him, Love was such an understatement from what you both were feeling. But, he knew that you meant more when you said those words. It was easier to say those words than tell what you both really felt. 

He worked on the voodoo doll which took more time than he thought it would. He could hear both of your shadows playing together until you began to sing. He looked at you with a fond smile, how ethereal you were… A gift from the gods.

After a while, he finally finished the doll.

“ Perfect.”

You opened your eyes, your mind still blurry from sleep. You looked at Alastor who was standing, the doll against the wall.Alastor held his hand toward you and you looked at your shadow which put the blood on the doll, snickering as it did so. He felt Kalfu behind him and he began his invocation.

He heard you gasping when the spirit showed itself. It had big fangs, so big it seemed like the spirit couldn’t close its mouth because of it. You could see saliva drooling from its mouth, its eyes never leaving Alastor’s form. Feathers were all around its body, it really looked like an owl… a terrific owl. Its eyes were all black, not a single glint of life was inside it… Perfect.

“ A pleasure to have you, you shall be rewarded if you do your job.” Alastor said, never being bothered from the hideous creature in front of him. “ Find the person who owns this blood. Tell me everything about it, and then, I shall kill him, and give you all of the man to you.”

The owl opened its wing before flying through the ceiling. You looked at your husband who was smirking at the doll. He took it in his hand and laughed. Now, it was just a matter of minutes before the spirit returned with the information he needed. How easy, he was almost disappointed.

“ You are mine.” he spat, staring at the doll with madness and fury. You watched as Kalfu vanished and Alastor looked at you with his red eyes. “ Hah, dear. We are going to find him.” he sighed in bliss. The one who hurted you had his life reaching its end.

“ I’m… I’m worried, Alastor. You know you can count on me, right?”

“ I have known this since our childhood, dear.” He tilted his head at your words. Why did you suddenly say that? He took one lock of your hair before kissing it affectionately. His eyes dived into yours with sincerity and mad affection. “ Why? Are you doubting my trust in you?”

“ It’s just.. I feel useless in times like this.”

“ How are you useless? You are the one who told me to make a Voodoo’s doll with the blood your shadow collected. Where are you useless, my love?” He smirked at you. You had such strange thoughts sometime. How could you be useless? You helped him kill his father, you helped him meet Papa Legba, you helped him everyday just because you were breathing.

“ It’s just… You know, for you, I would give all of myself to the devil–”

You gasped as Alastor took you by the throat, pinning you against the wall with a smile so big it looked inhuman, his shadow behind him taking more place in the room, taking away the light from the room. You looked at Alastor’s red eyes which were shining with pure madness. He squeezed your throat with one hand while the other one was stroking your cheek.

“ Don’t say that. Don’t say you would give yourself to someone else but me.” he said, his breath hitting your lips. “ I would fight the devil to keep you by my side. Angels, devils, who cares.” he spat. Now, that was what happened when you thought you ‘loved him’. No, loving was something easy to erase. You didn’t love him, it was much more. More than anyone could comprehend. Both of you were different, your affection for each other reached another realm. 

“ I’m sorry…I’m yours…”

You felt his body relaxed and the grip on your throat lessened. You opened your eyes and looked at your husband whose eyes were their usual brown color. He stared at you, still smiling but he was less tense. 

“ Of course you are, dearest. Running away right now would be pointless.” he smirked at you before kissing you once more. Running away, hah! Odd thoughts. 

You hummed against his lips, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He tapped your thighs, making you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist. He left the room and walked you toward your bedroom. You were so exhausted you fell asleep as soon as Alastor laid you on the bed. He smiled as he looked at you, you seemed more tired these days…

He laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling before he felt himself being pulled from his body. He didn’t panic, it must have been his spirit who wanted to show him something. He felt his soul being dragged toward an abandoned church. He smirked, really? A church? He laughed mockingly, was he going there for his final judgment ?

His soul flew toward the ground and he saw his spirit screeching before diving under the floor. He followed and smirked when he saw a couple, talking with each other. It didn’t seem like they sensed him. He looked around, there was an ax, some books… He flew toward an open book and frowned when he saw what was written. It seemed like they wanted to summon something… He squinted his eyes, trying to see the name.

Samael.

He turned his body around and froze when he saw a huge eye staring down at him. The eye’s sclera was red, but the pupil was yellow. It was staring at Alastor which made him immobile. He glanced toward the couple but they weren’t looking at him. What was it? If it was like his own shadow, even if it has its own conscience, Alastor would feel everything if the shadow found something, an intruder or something useful.

So why were the couple not looking at him even though the eye was staring at him. He frowned when he felt pain surging inside his head, making him fall to his knees. He groaned, closing his eyes. He needed to go back inside his own body. Now.

But when he opened his eyes he was somewhere where there wasn’t any light. He felt like he was floating in nothingness. He looked around, he could almost hear the noise from his movement echoing inside this place. Where was he ? 

He froze when he saw multiple sets of eyes staring at him. Everywhere he was looking there was an eye staring at him. He wasn’t panicking, he was mostly annoyed and frustrated. He didn’t have time for that. He wanted to go back to you and tell you what he just found.

The eyes' gaze were beginning to get heavier. It almost felt like he was being touched just from their glance alone. He hated it. They weren’t blinking, staring at him, waiting for him to give up? He would never. 

He gasped when he saw a red thread glowing with a powerful green light. What was it..? With all the eyes around him, he almost missed it. He stared at the thread that seemed to invite him to follow it. He took the threat that wrapped itself around his ring finger.

Eamon.

He smirked and then closed his eyes. He knew if he opened them, he would fall under the powerful gaze of those eyes, which made him feel uncomfortable. His grip on the thread never faltered and he followed it, never letting it go. But then, the thread pulled him so hard on his hand he almost winced.

Then, he felt the air. Fresh air.

He opened his eyes and saw he was being pulled toward your shared home, no eye in sight. He sighed, relieved. Well, it could have turned bad. He smiled when the thread pulled him inside the bedroom but then he froze.

You were fighting him. Well, you were fighting his body. He felt dread inside his body. He could see something on his body, manipulating it, using it to hurt you. He looked at you, you were squeezing Eamin against your chest while his body was banging his fist against the shield you raised against him. 

He could see his own shadow trying to keep his body on the floor, trying to protect you. He then saw you detached your soul from your body, how could you do it so easily, he didn’t know. He wondered if you saw him in that state, but your eyes were glowing, fixated on the thing that had its claw on his body.

He watched as his body fell on his knees and then he saw it. The red thread that was glowing green was pulling him to his own body. He rushed inside it and felt such a fire inside his own body. He needed to make his body his once more.

He could feel his own hand raising before plugging a blade inside his thigh and he already could tell from the bleeding it had touched an arterial. Damn it, arterial bleeding was significantly more dangerous than venous bleeding. Now, he knew he had around 2 to 7 minutes before dying. How bothersome. He wasn’t scared of dying, he was just disappointed. 

But once more, you surprised him.

You repelled the spirit and fell to your knees, but didn’t wait a second before crawling toward him. You were already taking off his pajama pants while he frowned.

“ You won’t heal me.”

“ You don’t have a choice… Hurry up…” you gasped. He didn’t want you to heal him, what if you died because he couldn’t survive the cut from his thighs? You were so stubborn ! He groaned as you let you licked his wound? He was furious, even more when he saw blood seeping through your pajama dress. You didn’t seem worried. He was sure, in your mind he was the one who needed to be healed. When you finished healing him he tugged you in his arms, trying to stop himself from shaking.

When an arterial was cut, people would die after 2 or 7 minutes, you healed him maybe two minutes after he got injured. That meant you would have this cut for two minutes until it vanished from your body. He waited until the two minutes passed… You were still breathing, you were still here.

“ Are you okay, Alastor…?”

Of course that’s what you were worried about. He wanted to shake you, to ask you to promise him you would never do something like that. Should he cage you somewhere? Where no one could hurt you. He would have to think about it later, right now he needed to have a discussion with someone.

“ Kalfu!” Alastor shouted. You turned your head toward Kalfu that was sitting next to you, looking at your bloody thigh with a smirk even if the wound was already cured. “ You knew it was going to happen, didn’t you?” Alastor asked with a furious smile.

“ Of course! You were so full of yourself ! Making a voodoo’s doll against an opponent that maybe was using an angel’s power!” Kalfu laughed, looking at the both of you with a mocking gaze. “ You really used a weak spirit, thinking the spell wouldn’t turn against you, didn't you? Well, you learned something new tonight, Alastor.” Kalfu laughed once more, mocking you without hiding himself. “ But I must say, little missy did wonderful. You felt something was wrong before Alastor was possessed.” 

Alastor frowned, before looking at you. You felt it ? From the bedroom’s state you must have fought him before he even came back. You didn’t seem like you had been hurt but… If he thought about it he felt like he was going to go toward the couple and kill them, not caring about his surroundings.

“ That’s Legba’s portégée for you.” Kaflu spat with anger and envy. “ But you always were connected to energy around you, so it isn’t very surprising.” He said, looking at Eamon.

You looked at Alastor who was biting his lips, making it bleed. Without thinking you lick his wound while he was trying to speak to Kalfu. Could you stop being cute and annoying for once?

“ They aren’t working with an angel, and you knew it.”

“ That’s my protégée for you!” Kalfu clapped in his eyes with pride. “ Indeed, they aren’t working with an angel…”

You looked at Alastor, feeling your lips bleeding a little because of the cut. You touched his face, making sure he was looking at you. He would always look at you…

“ Are you okay?”

Alastor’s body relaxed a little as his eyes fell into yours. He sighed before kissing your forehead.

“ Did I hurt you, my love?” You shook your head. “ I’m sorry.. I didn’t expect them to be… this skilled.” he said. He couldn’t think he underestimated his enemy. How shameful.

“ Who are they working with? Kalfu?” you looked at the spirit with a death stare. It was cute how you didn’t trust Kalfu at all.

“ Oh no, I wouldn’t want to work with them. I already have Alastor!” Kalfu laughed at your stare. “ They are working with a powerful being, someone who used to be God’s favorite!”

“ They are working with Samael.” Alastor said, in the quiet room. “ But he is known as Lucifer.” He looked at you, you paled quickly it was almost comically. 

“ But… how.. How could we win against… Lucifer? Lucifer… Are you really sure?” you asked, looking at Alastor once more.

“ Yes, that is why we found a lamb in the abandoned building. That was a sacrificial lamb. And from what I saw, the woman was also a sacrifice for him. A catholic virgin woman.”

“ But.. But, they were… holding a Bible..” you were so confused,he would have to prepare a cold chocolate for you, he knew you were going to have a headache.

“ Yes, it was the Bible cover, but the book in itself is not. Trust me, before they managed to get the spirit and possess me, I managed to see where they were. And trust me, they won’t live another week.” You felt him grab you tighter. “ How dare they… Making me attack you…I'll tear out their heart and force them to eat it.”

He could see your eyes shifting. You were as angry as him, he could see your shadow buzzy with hatred. Kalfu vanished and Alastor took you to bed and checked your thigh.

“ I’m okay, my love.” You smiled at him.

“ You … You were amazing. Using the Eamon to make me come back…” he kissed your inner thigh, closing his eyes when he felt your hand in his hair. “ How could I let this happen…” How could he not see it coming?

“ Alastor… I’m not mad at you.” You tugged him toward you, laying on the bed and placing his head against your chest. “ I made a vow to always be there for you, to protect you or heal you if needed… Don’t worry.”

“ Aren’t you scared we will fight two people who had asked for power from Lucifer, the fallen angel?” he asked you.

He didn't want you to be sick because you felt terrified because of who you both were going to fight. 

“ I’m not scared. We are going to win. We are fighting against humans, we will win.”

—-----

“ Alright, I will tell you were with me all night.”

Alastor watched you as you hugged Alice. You told her you knew where the stalkers were and you were going to kill them tonight. She said she would be your alibi which made him snickered.

“ Where is your husband ? He will see we weren’t with you.”

“ Oh, he went into a business affair, he is going to come back in two days.” She smiled at you. “ Don’t worry, our alibi is safe.” She winked at you, making you smile. You asked if everything was going smoothly with her husband which she replied with a smile. “ Oh, perfectly! He knows everything about me~ I feel like I’ve known him for so long! Even if there is no romantic love involved.”

Was it what romance was about ? He did know a lot about you, but he didn’t know everything about you which was exciting. But well, why would he care about Alice’s vision of love.

You looked at her belly, smiling.

“ So, did you find a name?”

She beamed at you, taking your hand in hers.

“ Oh, yes, I found it and Alyzée accepted it. I need to tell my husband but he doesn’t have his say.” She said with a big smile. “ I wrote the name in this envelope, I shall tell you the name when you come back.”

“ Why be overdramatic for a name?” Alastor asked, raising an eyebrow with a mocking smile. “ Just tell her you didn’t find anything so you want to buy time.”

“ I’m the one being overdramatic? Do you hear yourself on the radio, Alastor?” She spat at him, giving him the middle finger.

He smirked at Alice, he always enjoyed who she was quick with her remarks. At least, she had this for herself. He hoped her child wouldn’t be as annoying as her… Oh, well, he preferred if the child took from Alice than Trey, at least the baby would be a  little bit interesting. 

Would his own child be friends with Alice’s child? Oh dear… He hoped his child would see how useful the RicheMont were.

You stood up, Alastor doing the same and all of you walked toward the door. Alice hugged you strongly.

“ Please, be careful. Promise me, you will come back.”

You smiled at her. Alastor was smirking at her, of course you would come back, when you were together, no one could beat you.

“ We will be back, don’t worry.”

He looked at Alice who was stroking her belly until she went back inside her house. You walked toward the abandoned church, of course you didn’t know where it was located which was one of the many reasons you were gripping his forearm. He could see you were anxious, much more than usual. But you were keeping your mouth shut, you were silent. Why would you close your heart to him like this?

“ My love, talk to me.”

“ I’m… I have a bad feeling, Alastor.” you whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder. His body tensed at your words. He knew to never take your feelings lightly, even more the one that was connected to the spirits’s realm. Your instincts were always spot on. He wondered if it was Papa Legba’s gift to you as his portégée. Your instinct was almost like you knew what was happening in the future, depending if it was good or bad. 

“ How so?”

“ It’s the first time we are going to fight against opponents that have… powers, like us. We don’t know how we are supposed to fight. How are you supposed to take them down?” You close your eyes, gripping his jacket harder. 

“ Darling. They are using the power of a failed angel.” He sneered at the sky. “ What could have happened?”

“ The power of the failed angel possessed you…” You opened your eyes and looked at him. 

Hmn, you got a point.

He tensed before he let out a sigh. He turned his head toward you, his smile a bit smaller than usual as he stared at you with a warm glint. He wasn’t scared of dying, most of all, he didn’t think you or him would die soon. He was used to feeling threatened, he could feel when someone was having menacing thoughts about him. That is what made connecting to people so difficult when he was younger. Now, he could put on a mask.

But when he was a kid, he only knew hate and pain. When people looked at him with what he would learn later, affection he couldn’t feel it, not comprehend it. Thankfully, you were there, learning all of those emotions. Maybe he couldn’t understand all of them, but he could fake it enough so people would leave him alone.

“ How are you so calm..?” you whispered shakily. Oh yes, right, you were feeling anxious and scared.

“ I know you are scared. This might be the hardest fight we have to win… But Darling, when we first killed my father, we were powerless and yet we fought against this man. No demons, devils, angels could be… stronger than my father. He made me live through Hell.” He looked at your hand, taking them into his hands. “ We won’t lose. Not when we are together. Remember the three rules..?”

You nodded with a shaky smile. He stared at you and you opened your mouth.

“ Rule number one: Never drop your guard.” You closed your eyes when you felt him kiss your lips, encouraging you to continue. “ Rule number two: No one is stronger than you.” You smiled against his lips as he kissed you once again. “ Rule number three: Give up…”

“ That’s right, my love. Give up your fears, I’ll be there.”

Alastor looked at his shadow that poked your waist, making itself seen. It tugged at your shadow, showing that you weren’t alone. Those shadows could be very entertaining sometimes. 

You took a deep breath and looked at Alastor with a new found confidence which made Alastor smile immediately.

“ Perfect, then, how are we going to do it?”

Once again, you were asking how to kill. Were you aware? Were you aware of it?

“ Well, darling ! They are hiding in an abandoned church not too far from here. How subtil. There is a cave, which isn’t even locked. We will send our shadows first so they can see what is happening downstairs, and then we’ll attack. We won’t be greedy tonight, let’s not play and just go straight into killing. Don’t play with your prey, my dear.” He flicked your nose with a mocking smile which made you frown. 

“ You didn’t bring any weapons..?” you tilted your head.

“ Oh, dear, do you think me a fool? My shadow holds the weapon, I couldn’t be walking in New Orleans with a rifle and a knife, could I?” He laughed as you looked at his shadow and gasped when you saw his shadow having the shadow of a rifle and a knife in his hand. He smirked at your face, he knew you found him impressive which made him beam with pride.

When you both arrived at the church he let you look at the impressive building.  He was checking the exits he saw last time didn’t change or weren’t blocked. After a while, he came back to you, seeing his shadow massage your shoulder. He smirked when he felt your shadow wrap its hand around his.

You turned toward your husband who was motioning you to come closer. You both looked at each other before sending your shadows inside the church. 

You looked at your husband who was waiting patiently before nodding to you. He entered the house of prayer without looking back knowing you would follow him, like you always did. He went to the floor hatch while your shadows were looking around. He was trying to hear if he could hear noises. Normally, the couple should hear your footsteps from downstairs, it should echo… 

His eyes turned red and he sank his hand into his own shadow before taking out a rifle and a knife.

 Which one do you want, my love?

‘I’m still not good with a rifle, give me the knife. I’m an expert with that.’

You took the knife from his hands but before you could step back he tugged you against his chest and kissed you with hunger. You sighed against his lips, as you ran your hand into his dark curls. 

 This isn’t the last time I hug you, you hear me ?

He wondered if he was saying this to you or himself…

He nodded before gesturing to his shadow to go check what was under the door. You did the same with your shadow which followed Alastors. You both stayed quiet, waiting for your shadows to return. You felt relief when your shadow came back, gesturing to you that it was safe to enter. Alastor went first and then waited for you and the end of the stairs. You looked around, everything was dark, the only light you could see was far away, from a room on the other side of this dark corridor.

‘Should we separate?’ 

Check each room on the right. I’ll check the one on the left side, don’t enter the room at the end of the corridor before I’m here, okay?.

‘ Yes, sir.’

You could see him roll his red eyes at you which made you grin. He walked toward the room on the left, his shadow following him, with its wicked smile. There wasn’t anything interesting, there was a room that looked like.. a bathroom. He walked inside and stared at the water inside a bucket. What he was cautious about was the eye he saw when he came here the first time. 

But no sign of it. He couldn’t even feel his heavy gaze. Maybe it was because the couple thought they were safe…? Maybe he saw it because he was in a state that connected him to the energy around him..?He frowned, maybe you would feel it before him?After all, you were closer to your instincts than him who was more observing. But none of that mattered, he couldn’t feel the eye, so you both were safe. 

He was suspicious about the atmosphere. Even if the both of you were silent as death, the couple should have heard your footsteps when he were walking upstairs. Or they should feel their presence like he was feeling theirs. Was Lucifer’s power not about feeling others' aura? He should have looked for more information, but after his possession, he didn’t want to wait any more.

Are you scared, Alastor? 

He scoffed at Kalfu’s voice. He wasn’t scared, he was furious. He hated the idea of someone being better than him, even more in domains where he was the best.

‘ Darling, John might be the one behind all this. ’

 Please, do explain.

After explaining what you just found, Alastor joined you into the small office and looked at the letter with an angry smile.

‘ We really need to get rid of him.’

So, John was in it huh… Well, John or Trey, both of them were Felleur. John was the one who was obsessed with you and him since your younger age. He wouldn’t be surprised if he paid for creeps to make your life harder. 

Alastor walked toward the corridor once more and looked at the enlightened room in front of you. He could hear them talking, did they not notice you? He couldn’t believe it, they were smarter than that, weren’t they? They managed to capture your shadow, possess his mind… They couldn’t be this easy to kill, he would be so disappointed. Alastor went inside the room as quietly as possible and hid behind a wall, almost completely broken. You followed him, trying to be as quiet as him. He tilted his head, leaning where the wall was broken and he smirked. You did the same and there they were.

 Alastor took his rifle, as quietly as possible, and aimed at their head. He could feel you next to him, you were anxious.. Did you also feel like it was too easy?

Before he managed to understand the situation, he felt like he was being spied on and then you jumped on him as he heard a loud noise.  The place where you have been standing not a seconds ago was now under a big rock that seemed to have fallen from the ceilings. His smile dropped as he looked at you, were you hurt? It didn’t seem so.

“ Did it get them?” The woman said.

Well, well, now that was better ! He gestured you toward the rock.

 Can you lift it?

He watched you with fondness as you threw the rock toward the couple. You were so beautiful when you were at your strongest. He knew you would miss, he just wanted to send a message to the two people behind the wall.

They wouldn’t leave this church alive.

He wiped your nose when he saw blood dripping from it. Did he ask too much of you already? Well, it was time to introduce himself, right, as the biggest threat here.

“ A reminder to you all. Not to mess with my wife’s life.” Said Alastor with a big smile on his lips, his shadow taking more place in the room.

You looked at him as he aimed toward the couple. You stood up quickly at your husband's side. The man was standing in front of the girl in a protective manner while she was opening her grimoire. So, she was the one with the spiritual power…

“ You’ve made a mistake by coming here.” said the girl, her voice shaking but her form was ready to fight. The man was gripping at an ax, staring at Alastor.

“ You’ve made a mistake by threatening our life.” You said as power began to swirled inside you, your eyes turning red. “ No God or Devil is going to save you tonight.” You spat while Alastor was grinning ears to ears, his aim still trained on the couple. How beautiful you were! He was almost shaking from excitement.

“ I wondered how you could think you could take us down.” asked Alastor with a mocking voice. 

“ We managed to possess you, didn't we? Mickeal and I know you both are the serial killer that haunts New Orleans!” Shouted the girl, her hands gripping her book harder. “ We need to clear this city from evil!”

“ And yet, you killed an innocent woman, didn't you?” spat Alastor, his smile never leaving his face. So she was the one who possessed him? It wasn’t in his habits to hurt a woman, but well, it seemed like there was a first for everything.

The man stared at you, gripping his ax harder between his hands. 

“ Don’t bother, Louise. Those are demons, Voodoo’s hippies. We must kill them.”

Oh, come on. Could they be at least original with their threat ? Always being Voodoo’s hippies, wizard, sorcerer… Could someone be original for once?

He smirked when your shadow jumped on the man who, surprised, tried to get it off him. You telekinesised your knife to dug it into his thighs. Mickeal stared at you, not flinching once. He almost whistled, you really threw your knife exactly where he had been stabbed when he was possessed. Did you do it on purpose ?

 Good shot,dear.

He shot toward Mickeal who was rushing toward him but the man blocked his bullet with his ax. He pushed you out of the way, avoiding a slash from the weapon. He glanced at you as you walked toward the woman. He turned his attention to the man who seemed furious.

“ This is not very gentlemanlike to hurt a lady, you know?” He smirked.

“ What do you know about manners, demons?”

“ Say the one who works with the devil.” Alastor mocked, aiming once again at the man’s head. Mickeal ran toward Alastor with much more speed than he was prepared for. He smirked as his shadow jumped on the man, rooting him to the ground making him incapable of running.

Mickeal smirked at Alastor before taking the knife you had telekinesis at him and then he threw it at you, with so much force he knew that if you were touched, the cut could be fatal.

“ Darling!”

You turned your head toward your husband's voice and managed to stop your own knife that had been thrown by the man. If you hadn't stopped it, the blade would have stabbed your throat…

Alastor avoided a slash of Mickeal’s ax with a charming smile. He didn’t want to show he almost lost his composure because of the man's attack. You haven’t been touched so he would stay calm. He would keep playing with the man. 

He peeked at you and smirked when he saw you staring at the ax. He knew what you were trying to do. He always did.  The man looked at his weapon which had gotten heavier with a look of disbelief before looking at you with pure hate. You winked at him before Alastor punched him so hard the man had to take a couple steps back. He chuckled before he heard you scream. 

He lifted his head as he saw you being lifted up from the ground. Alastor sended his shadow toward you before avoiding nearly Mickeal’s attacks. Damn it. He frowned but his smile stayed glued to his face. He stared at the man’s swings. He was fighting well, but he wasn’t that good either.  He smirked as he swinged his leg toward his face. He laughed, when he saw Mickeal’s nose bleed. 

How easy!

He winced when he felt his shadow being burned by the woman’s chanting. Damn it, what was she chanting about?

He kept punching him, using his fist and legs but then he felt like he was being watched. Just like the last time when he was possessed… Was the eye here? Looking at him? He felt like he was being rooted to the ground, he couldn’t move. 

His eyes widened when he felt Mickeal’s ax slash his torso. He kept his smile on his face but the pain he felt was horrible. Damn it… He could move his body once more, making able to stumble back. That hurts..! 

“ Alastor !”

He never heard you screaming like this. That was new. He saw Mickeal being projected against a wall and then here you were, pulling him behind a wall. He knew you were going to heal him, so he needed to protect you too. He took his rifle, trying to ignore the pain in his body. He felt like he could throw up because of it.

He aimed at the couple and shot while you were licking his torso. 

He didn’t know why but this situation excited him. You were licking at his blood, licking at his skin while he was trying to kill. How scandalous that was! You were healing him so he could keep on killing. Oh, darling, you were perfect!

But then, he saw you stop moving. He knew you were feeling the pain he just had felt because of this bloody ax. You weren’t moving anymore… Wait, you couldn’t possibly have died because of the wound.

“ Darling, are you still with me ?”

You couldn’t be dead. He wouldn’t allow it. 

He felt his body relaxed when your eyes looked at his face. He stared at your face, making sure you were okay. You nodded at him, your body still twitching from the previous pain you had just felt. 

He stopped shooting at the couple to make them believe he had died, he didn’t know if they were aware of your healing power, so he should try it. He vanished inside his own shadow, letting his rifle next to you.

He stared at the scene, hiding in the shadow where nobody could see him. 

You stood up slowly from your hiding place and looked at the couple in front of you. Mickeal was playing with his ax, staring at you. 

“ How do you wish to die?” he asked you as he walked toward you. “ Like your husband?”

So they really believed he died. Perfect.

You walked toward him, your hands in the air. Louise was looking at you with a mocking smile, closing her books. You looked at the man who was looking you up and down, like he was trying to see if you had any hidden weapons on you. 

“ Why did you do this?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper.

“ We need to clear this city. We were hired to watch people that needed to die. But you don’t need to know more, your life ends here, Mrs. Sanglar.” He lifted his ax up. Alastor frowned as he saw a goldish light on the blade. He quickly rushed behind the man, appearing from his shadow in a second. He knew if you raised your shield, you wouldn’t be touched.

When his axe clashed against your shield, Alastor took the weapon as it slipped from the man’s hands because of your shield’s power. He then threw it toward the woman, Louise was it, with so much force it dug itself inside her chest.

You blinked as Louise was staring at the ax inside her body, before her legs gave out and she fell at Alastor’s feet.

“ Louise!” Mickeal cried as he ran toward her. You raised your hand and created a shield around Mickeal, squeezing it around him until he couldn’t move a single muscle, he couldn’t even speak.

Alastor smiled at Mickeal as he crouched in front of Louise who was breathing hard. Well… She was the one who almost made him kill you by possessing him. She was the one who almost took the reason his sanity was still stable. She almost took his heart…

Eye for eye…

He cut open Louise’s torso, not caring about her scream of anguish. He almost wanted to taunt her, when he killed someone, he hurted them before their death. He wasn’t a coward that made postpartum injuries. He was capable of handling the scream, the cries, the begging… and never stopping. 

He took Louise’s heart from her body, showing it to her. She was nothing more than a human, maybe she had power from supernatural beings, but right now she was nothing but a human. He killed her like he killed all his precious victims. She was nothing more.She would be forgotten, she would turn into dust… All because she wanted to hurt you.  But well, she did make him learn a lesson about his self-esteem. His mother made him a gentleman after all.

“ Thank you for the gift.”

 Alastor stood up with Louise’s heart in his hand and walked toward the man.

“ Make it so he can move his head, dear.”

You did as he asked and watched with curiosity what Alastor was doing. He took Mickeal’s chin and forced him to open his mouth before putting the bloody heart against the man’s lips. Alastor managed to put some of the heart inside the man's mouth and forced him to munch and swallow it. He then asked, with a mad expression.

“ How does your beloved’s heart taste?” he asked with genuine curiosity. “ I’m the one who killed her, I’m the one who took her from you. How does it feel? Do you hate me ? Do you wish to join her in death? Did you appreciate her heart wholly?” he sneered at the man who looked at Alastor with pure fear.

He wondered, was he a monster since birth? He didn’t think so. He was just enjoying himself. He smiled when he saw Mickeal’s mortified face looking at him. Was he really scared of him? Wasn’t he the one working with the devil? 

“ If you don’t mind, I like to take souvenirs.” You smiled at him before taking his right eye from him. You didn’t seem to care about his screams, you just looked at the eye with a satisfied smile. Were you a monster ? No, you were an angel, a beautiful being that decided to share your life with him. Look at you, all bloodied and yet smiling at him with the purest smile on your lips. “ Do what you want Alastor, I’m done.”

He stared at the heart in his hand. That heart that belonged to someone else, that was making them live. He chuckled, the one who tried to hurt you, your happiness… that tried to take you from him. It was now meaningless. 

He approached the bloody organs toward his lips and bit it. He could feel the blood going inside his throat, the blood of someone who had tried to win against him. He bit harder on the organs, his teeth tearing the flesh, so he could munch on something. How success tasted good. This human who tried to stand against you, was now just some kind of food… He could feel himself getting stronger as he swallowed the flesh, turning his face toward you.

“ Do you want to taste it?”

You stared at the heart and shook your head. You pouted as Alastor stared at the heart with a new form of fascination. A selfish desire inside of him wanted you to taste this victory with him but he wouldn’t force you. 

“ You are crazy…!”

You looked at Mickeal who was shaking even inside of your shield. Alastor stared at him with a horrifying smile, looking as the front of Mickeal’s pants got wet. 

“ Well, well, are you that scared of a mere human when you worked with the devil?” Alastor asked, chuckling darkly at the man. He walked toward you but you turned your back toward him. “ Darling ?”

You gave him a dark glare but he only giggled before hugging you from behind. 

“ Why are you upset ?”

“ You bit into someone else's flesh.”

…

He could fall to his knees and ask your hand in marriage once more. Oh god, how perfect were you. He felt like he could kill a hundred men just for you. He would lose what’s left of his sanity if you asked him to. You weren’t disgusted with him, you were jealous because his lips touched someone else's flesh.

Oh gods, he needed to control himself. 

 You felt Alastor squeezed you harder, whispering darkly near your ear.

“ Do you want me to eat you?”

You shivered, looking into his red eyes. Did you want him to eat you until nothing was left. You would be one with him for eternity. You would live inside him forever.  His pupils dilated when he saw you weren’t disgusted with the idea. Did you also want to give your everything to him? Did you? Did you? Did you?Didyoudidyoudidyoudidyou–

You moaned when you felt Alastor’s teeth dig into your neck, making you cling to him. He needed to ground himself or he felt like he would lose all reason. You were crazy, darling, moaning while his mouth had tasted human’s flesh. You were crazy, just like him, a beautiful angel who decided to fall for him.

Alastor kissed the place he bit you, before going to Mickeal after taking your knife, throwing the heart away. He carved his usual smile into the man's flesh before killing him by slicing his throat.  He turned his head toward you with a small smirk.

“ Well, we should clean ourselves.”

“ And where should we do that, young man?” you asked, crossing your arms on your chest. Alastor guided you into the corridor and took you into a room and you gasped when you saw a bucket with water inside.

“ This is where they took their bath I guess.” He smirked at you as his hands began to undress you. He tilted his head when you were naked and walked away from him. “ My Love?”

“ Why should I clean with you? You bite someone else? Maybe next time you should carve runes into it, would you like that Mr.Sanglar?” you said, batting your eyes at him. 

Oh, darling, curse of sanity, blessing of his twisted mind. You were adorable. He wanted to dig his teeth inside your skin, marking you forever.

“ Still jealous, I see.” He said with a knowing smile. “ I would love to dig my teeth inside your heart my dear, feeling your heart beating against my lips, feeling your life inside my hands, being the one who can decide whether you live or die. I want to be the one who takes your life but at the same time… I don’t want you to leave me.” 

He could almost feel his member twitched while he imagined kissing your beating heart. Ahh… How lovely.

He looked as you sat, naked as the day you were born, blood decorating your beautiful form. You held your hand toward him, staring at him. You looked at him as he took your hand in his and kissed it. You were his beautiful angel…

You fell to your knees in front of him and hid your smirk when you saw his pupils getting bigger. You gently took off his pants without breaking eye contact with him. You are a little temptatious…

He didn’t need sex. He could feel it, he didn’t really care about it. But when you were here, giving yourself to him, it felt like something else. He wanted to control you at your weakest, he always loved when you gave him all control on your body knowing he was a monster in disguise. And yet, you never stopped kissing him, embracing him… 

As you were sucking his shaft, he couldn’t help but feel shivered. You were kneeling in front of him, just like those who were praying to their God for salvation. You were giving yourself. You were giving yourself to a monster, and you were aware of it. You were aware of his twisted mind. Yes , he was human, he had a beating heart, he looked human. 

But he wasn’t. He only stayed human because you were here. Because he knew you needed some kind of humanity from him. And he enjoyed giving it to you, because he knew that you couldn’t let him go. Ahh, were you his salvation? Or was he your salvation?

Who was in the right? 

Who was in the wrong?

He didn’t care, as long as you stayed by his side. As long as you accepted him. It was your fault he was getting worse and worse. If you really didn’t like his way, he would have hid it from you, he would have let you live this fantasy like a dream. 

But when he showed you a glimpse of his inner demons, when he opened the door a little so you could see a little of what was going on inside him, you slammed the door open and joined his monsters.

You didn’t try to stop him once, you joined his madness with your own. You embraced him, making him forget his fake humanity.

He gasped as he felt you licked your way up the shaft, savoring every last shred of skin and relishing in the flavor of him. 

He groaned as he stared at your eyes. How would others see you? Crazy? He would like to think that you see the both of you as unique. You were nothing like others. His threats were promises. And you accepted every single one of them. You were perfect.

You were looking at him like he was the best thing that happened to you. He chuckled darkly, how deeply did he taint you, he wondered. Deeply enough to make you pregnant with his child. A child that had half of his genes. Half of his madness… And you accepted it. Oh dear, you always accepted what he was giving you.

“ Darling… If you look at me like this…” he whispered in his deep voice, the one that he would never use for the radio. The one that was for you. And only you. 

You opened your mouth wider, staring at him, silently telling him to use you as he fit. He grabbed your hair and rolled his hips against you, his rhythm breaking as you felt him getting close.

What was bringing closer to his release wasn’t necessarily your skillful tongue on his member, but how you were looking at him, how you accepted the monster he was and worst, how you longed for it. Did you really think he didn’t know you always enjoyed when he was ready to lose his sanity because you were hurt? He knew you wanted him to be the monster he was.

How funny, he was the one trying to keep his composure for you and yet you were the one who wanted to see him being free of his chains that he placed on himself for you. You wanted the monster, you wanted him. You wanted him to kill, you wanted him to be crazy for you…

You temptatious wife of his.

You were crazy, you fell for him but what is horrible from the other’s point of view is that you fell for him, the monster he was trying to hide behind a cheerful smile. You fell for a monster and you stayed with him. You accepted him, around you, inside you…

“ Where do you want it?” he asked, panting.

‘ Inside. I want to swallow everything. ’

You vile creature… How dare you encourage him into caging you, making sure you would stay with him. He never was your Prince charming, the one who wished upon you when you were younger. The one you read about when you both were a child. He was the monster, the dragon that would keep you caged with him, killing anyone that would try to steal you from him.

Dear, you choose a monster willingly, you truly were crazy. But he wouldn’t change anything about you.

Alastor groaned and not a minute after he came inside your mouth. You closed your eyes as you took everything your husband had to offer. You gulped everything and opened your eyes when you felt him let go of your hair. You licked his slit one more time before leaning back, looking at him with a smirk.

“ Did you enjoy it?”

Alastor was looking at you before taking your knife and pressing it against your throat. You giggled as he smiled down at you. 

“ My turn, dearest.”

After two hours of making you scream inside the abandoned church, he decided it was time for you to get clean. He helped you clean yourself before taking care of himself. He knew he would have to take care of the body, furthermore he could feel new power awaking inside of him thanks to the two kills. He walked toward you and hugged you from behind.

“ Darling, why don’t you go to Alice’s right now? I’ll take care of the bodies.” Alastor whispered in your ear, his arms wrapping around you. “ You used a lot of your power today…”

“ What about you..?” You said, closing your eyes when you felt his lips against your cheek.

“ Me? Darling, I’m getting more powerful with each murder… I want to try those new powers on the corpses..” He purred darkly in your ear, squeezing your waist, his nails digging into your soft skin. You hummed when you felt his finger run on your skin before laughing as Alastor started to tickle your sides.

As your body twitched against his, you managed to catch his gaze. He was looking at you so fondly, so softly but there was still this glint, this madness that would appear when you were around him. How innocent you looked like this, laughing with a warm smile on your face because of him.

You kissed him to make him stop. He bit your lower lips with a smirk before stepping away from you. You smiled as your husband’s shadow gave you another dress. Alastor stared at you as he saw your expression turned grim. What were you thinking about… 

“ Darling?”

You turned toward Alastor with a relaxed smile. You kissed him, cupping his face between your palms. 

“ Then, I’ll wait for you at Alice.”

He nodded, staring at you until you left the room. He waited until he couldn’t feel you inside the church before getting dressed and walking toward the crime scene.

He smirked as he looked at the beautiful display. 

“ That was beautiful, Alastor. I’m impressed!” Kalfu said, clapping next to him.

“ I know. Now, about my powers? I can feel myself being stronger than usual.”

“ Of course. You ate some of my offerings.” Kalfu smirked at him. Alastor raised an eyebrow, he didn’t think about it. He just followed his pulsion… he frowned while Kalfu was laughing at him. “ So, I shall give you two powers because you really entertain me!”

Alastor crossed his arms on his torso with a smirk. Two powers ?

“ Isn’t it because two people have been killed tonight? You are rarely impressed by killing…”

“ Oh no, I would have given you four then!” Kalfu stared at him with a mocking smile. Alastor frowned, Kalfu was always laughing, lying, joking… His words never had heavy meaning, he always had to be careful with Kalfu. His words were like a sharp blade, depending on how you use it, you could hurt yourself. “ No, I shall give you two powers… One might be harder and more complicated to use, I don’t give it to anyone.”

Now that was interesting, Kalfu was known to be a bad spirit, but he wasn’t selfish with giving his knowledge or power when his protégée did something impressive. He didn’t find much information about people who once were Kalfu’s protégée, so he didn’t know much about his bound with the spirit.

Alastor looked at Kalfu who was staring at him with a condescending smile before Alastor stared at his hand that was burning. His eyes widened and he took a step back, staring at his hand. The flames were licking his hand, he could feel its warmth but it wasn’t hurting… But what was even more concerning, was that the fire was green.

He smirked as he observed the flames around his hand and then raised his hands, pointing to Louise’s corpse and the fire rushed toward the body, burning it until it became ashes. He chuckled as the flames disappeared when the body was nowhere to be found.

“ Useful. What about the second power?”

“ Impatient brat…” Kalfu smirked before giving him … a reddish cane? Alastor took the object, confused. The cane was light, he could easily manipulate around him. He looked at Kalfu who was pointing at the cane. “ Baron Samedi won’t like this power, just so you know.”

Alastor's eyes widened. If Baron Samedi wouldn’t like this power, that meant the power was about death.

“ My dear Alastor, my dear protégé, I shall give you this object that can contain souls. You can now cage  souls inside this cane. And if you wondered why a cane? Because Legba always had one with him, I only wanted to piss him off.”

Alastor smirked as he stared at the cane with a new form of interest. That’s why Baron Samedi won’t like this power, he had the power to trap a soul inside this object, which means they wouldn’t feel Death’s sweet embrace. 

He laughed maniacally, his head jerked back. What a useful power ! He would have loved to have this power when he killed his father! Trapping his father’s soul inside his cane, making sure he wouldn’t know how infinity rest felt like. He stopped laughing, looking at Kalfu.

“ What is the catch?”

“ The catch..? Heh,  So perspective, indeed, there is a catch. I don’t have to tell you but tonight has been really entertaining.For each soul trapped, you lose one year from your lifespan.”

Mhn… This power seemed more troublesome now… Furthermore–

“ Is my wife affected by it?”

“ I don’t have to tell you that, boy.”

Alastor rolled his eyes at the spirit, staring at the cane. Well, he could ask Baron Samedi for information, or Legba, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you. He sighed, giving the cane to his shadow who took it eagerly. He looked around before leaving this place. He didn’t have to clean it, there were satanic books everywhere, if the police were to come here, they would just say it was a sect.

He walked toward Alice’s house, staring at his hand with an amused smile. Well, he didn't know if he was going to use his cane but he was definitely using his green fire. Now that he thought about it, the fire’s color reminded him of Eamon’s glowing color..

He stopped in his tracks when he arrived toward the mansion. Something was wrong, definitely wrong. He vanished inside his shadow and rushed toward the house, sliding under the front door. He let his shadow darted toward Alice’s room, he could feel your presence there. 

He concentrated on your presence and he felt himself fall deeper inside his own shadow before standing from your shadow. He looked in front of you, and saw  a  fire going straight at him. He didn’t have time to think, he sent his own green fire, clashing against it to protect himself. He couldn’t see around you, where were you?

“ Well, Mrs. Sanglar, travel safely to hell.”

“ Not without me.”

You gasped when you saw a green fire clashing against Trey’s fire. Alastor stared at you, you were levitating in the air like you owned the place. You looked divine as you went toward him, leaving the air to fall toward him… But right now, he didn’t have time to be blessed by your beauty.

He looked in front of him and saw Trey Felleur. 

What as going on? How did this man manage to throw fire at you?

“ What is going on?” Asked Alastor, coldly. He stared at you, trying to find an answer in your eyes but as you saw his face you wouldn’t help but fall into his arms, grabbing at his arms, screaming in pain. 

“ He took her from us! He is the one that made our life so difficult!” You shouted as tears fell from your eyes.  Alastor was caging you in his arms, looking at Alice’s corpse on the bed. 

Alice was dead..?

It was a strange emotion he was feeling. He wasn’t sad, no, who do you think he was. But he was angry, from what he could see from Alice state, she had been slaughtered. She had been unfairly killed.

Alice was a useful person, she was also interesting when she wasn’t annoying… Who did it? Who killed someone that was useful to him?

Trey wiped the blood from his nose, smiling at Alastor like usual. He felt fury inside his body, he felt like he had been had, like a little boy who didn’t know adults were more intelligent than him. He was laughing at John’s stupidity and yet right now, he felt just as stupid. He didn’t understand what was going on. Trey killed Alice? But , why?

“ Oh, Mr. Sanglar, what a pleasure to see you.”

You lifted your head as you heard police’s sirens, you could even see the sirens light from the windows. You looked at Alastor, confused. Was he the one who called for the cops? But he answered you by telepathic, saying he didn’t. Why would he ask the police to come when he was ready to kill once more tonight.

You heard footsteps running toward the door, Alastor was keeping you against him and then you saw them. Two policemen slammed the door open with their gun aiming at everybody in the room.

“ Police!”

He almost wished for your father to be one of the officers but no, the one that was in the middle was John. Damn it, Alastor wanted to kill everyone in the room. Was he that blind since the beginning ? Did John and Trey play him like a puppet? For how long?

“ Well, Alastor, why are you here– You..” John seemed surprised to see you there but he quickly collected himself. He walked toward Trey and then froze when he saw Alice’s body in her bed. He put his hand on his mouth, color draining from his face. “ A-Alice..?” he asked, his voice shaking, walking closer to her corpse.

When he saw her state he closed his eyes and turned his head away from the scene. He seemed really affected.

“ God… What happened here..?” He asked Trey, his voice firm.

“ I don’t know. I was away for business, but when I came back home, my wife was already in that state.” 

“ Check the house!” John asked his subordinates before looking at you and Alastor. “ What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice cold. “ Killing your father wasn’t enough, you had to kill Alice too?”

“ Oh, so, my father has been killed? I didn’t know. And for Alice, pray tell, why would I have done that?” Alastor spat at John, looking at him with vicious mockery. It was impossible for John to be this clever, he couldn’t. The real danger was Trey Felleur.

 You walked toward John and took his hands, your voice shaking. He could see his cheeks turned red. What were you trying to do?

“ John… Trey was the one who killed her…” You said, your eyes wet. His eyes softened as he looked at you. 

“ Sweetie… I know.” Alastor almost scoffed. “ I know Alastor is forcing you to do things. He did voodoo stuff on you, right? Don’t worry, I’m going to protect you.” He stroked your cheek.

You felt like there wasn’t any escape. You slapped his hand away, frowning at him, your eyes shining with fury.

“ What are you talking about?” you spat at him, walking back toward Alastor.

“  You won’t go to jail, you might go into a hospital but–’’

“ Don’t talk about my wife. Don’t look at her. Don’t even think about putting her into a hospital because she is too clever for you to understand.” said Alastor as his arms went back around you. “ Call competent policemen to find Alice’s murderer.” He needed to be alone with you so you could explain what the fuck was going on here!

“ I will find them.”

“ Like you find my father’s?” spat Alastor with a mocking grin. “ Get out, John.” Alastor took your hand, watching as John was taken away by his subordinates because they found the butler of the home. You looked at Trey who was staring at Alastor with a calm smile.

“ I can’t wait to hear about my wife’s death in your next broadcast, Alastor.”

“ I can’t wait to speak about your death in my next broadcast, Trey.” said Alastor, full of himself like always. He needed to control the situation. But he was sure of one thing, his next victim would be Trey Felleur. He never saw you so heartbroken, he never felt so lost in a situation… He would make him live a living hell.

 Alastor carried you in his arms before leaving the room. You looked at Alice one last time, your eyes getting wet once more.

Alastor walked down the stairs and stopped when he spotted the butler who was crying, sitting on the sofa. You left Alastor’s arms and walked toward the butler, the one who had taken care of Alice since she was a child.

The butler lifted his head when he saw you and before you couldn’t realize it, he was hugging you while sobbing. You cried with him, hiding your face in his shoulder.  Alastor stayed back, he knew you were feeling a pain no power could heal.

“ Please,” he begged, “ find the one who did this and make them pay.” He sobbed against you. “ Alice wasn’t perfect… But she was… she was…”

You crushed him against you as Alastor answered for you.

“ We will find them, and get rid of them.” He said to the butler. The man nodded before stepping back and giving you a letter. 

Alastor carried you in his arms and walked away from the house surrounded by police’s car. He didn't know why, but he started to remember moments with Alice. From her first introduction where she was shy in front of him, to her last goodbye, asking you to come back to her.

She always wanted to try the newest fashion, she wanted to make him shut his mouth, saying his voice was a punishment from Hell, yet you always told him she would put the radio on when it was his broadcast when she was with you.

She was always pestering him with questions, asking him if killing was a hobby or a need. She was like an annoying… sister that would always open her loud mouth.

He wasn’t sad, he was just remembering her.

He vanished in his shadow with you until you were home. It was the first time he managed to do this on such a long distance. He put you on the sofa, carefully, never letting his eyes straight away from you.

“ I’m going to prepare a bath for you, okay, darling?” he asked.

You nodded slowly before looking at the letter.He didn’t know if you should open right now, he already guessed it was the name of Alice’s baby. You opened it under Alastor’s vigilant gaze. You took the paper and began to read.

My dear friend,  As you know, I’m pregnant! Alyzée and myself are looking for a name, and of course, you know I’m the best for nicknames. But to name a baby is another situation! I want my girl, because I know it’s going to be a girl, to be proud of her name. So I first thought, I should give her my name. But Alyzée said it was maybe a little too narcissistic of me… Bizarre, right?  So I thought a lot, and I wondered, as my baby godmother, as my best friend, would you accept if I named my baby after you?  Your best friend, Alice Richemont Ps: I know I made you read the letter in front of me, but I wanted to see your reaction ! I hope you will cry because I will! 

You cried once more, as Alastor hugged you against his torso. You couldn’t stop crying, even when Alastor was kissing your cheeks and eyes. He could only hold you as you were breaking down. He didn’t really know why, he wasn’t sad, he wasn’t… But as he hugged you against his torso, he couldn’t help but feel disappointment that he wouldn’t banter with Alice anymore.

6 March 1927, Alice Richemont, his most useful ally was taken away.

The next months were hard for you. He could see it. 

Alice’s funeral was pretty with all those flowers, there were many people, he wasn’t surprised Alice was this liked. Everyone was crying, even Trey. This man had such skills in acting, that was impressive. 

He stayed with you during all the funerals, he could feel how weak you were. You insisted on seeing Alice one last time in her coffin. He could see how your lips were wobbling, how your eyes were always full of tears… Trey would pay for that.

You had explained everything to him, how Trey was the stalker from your teenagehood and everything he did. He felt such anger when you told him this, he felt like an idiot. He should have seen the sign and yet…This man had manipulated him for too long. He couldn’t bear it, he was almost tempted to cage his soul inside his cane but he didn’t… after all, with all of this, he did not find the time to tell you about his new abilities.

When they lowered Alice underground he put his hand on your eyes,  whispering in your ears.

“ Don’t show darling. Not yet.” You nodded at his words. He knew you were burning with hatred, last time he saw you like that was maybe when you both fought against his father.

After the funeral, Alastor drove you home and your usual three spirits were waiting for you.

“ Little lady… I’m really sorry.” uttered Papa Legba, his usual warm smile no longer on his face. He really seemed sorry that you were experiencing such pain..

“ Were you… the one making me.. levitating?” you asked, as Alastor made you sit on the sofa and went to make you a hot chocolate while listening to the conversation. 

“ As Alastor is  getting stronger, your power also goes up. Not as powerful as Alstor, but still impressive for you. Levitation is a new skill of yours. I did help you. I didn’t want you to use too much energy and pass out with this new power of yours.”

Alastor sat next to you, placing his hand on your knees, his eyes never leaving your form.  He wasn’t surprised you were able to control the air. Since you were a child, you would always run like the wind was carrying you. 

He was trying to tell you about his new abilities through telepathy but you eyes stayed closed, it was like your mind was out of his reach which scared him. He knew you could hear him so why…?

Please, look at me…

You turned your face toward your husband whose body relaxed when he saw your eyes on him.  You gave him a small smile but he would take it. He was worried about you, he didn’t want you to vanish because of someone else.  Trey would pay, you didn’t have to worry about this.

After a small talk he looked as your shadow touched its belly with a sad face. Immediately you reacted, asking about your baby's well being. 

“ It is safe.” Baron Samedi said, confident with a small smile. “ I healed it.”

Alastor smirked, now that was interesting. Baron Samedi didn’t have any protégée… yet. But what if he decided that your baby shall be his protégée. The fact that he healed it without asking anything in return proved his point… But he wasn’t sure, maybe he really did it because he wanted it.

“ I told you, didn’t I? I don’t like children dying. They should live for as long as they can. I won’t ask anything in return, it was a selfish wish.” 

Well, if he could use his baby to have some control over Baron Samedi that would be perfect. Maybe his child could influence the spirit to give him more power over the cane that would caged souls.

“ And Alice’s baby..?”

Baron Samedi sat on the floor, smoking his cigar. He was the spirit that was handling the dead, he was the one saying that this person could die, or this person should stay on earth. Your question was interesting, why save your baby and not Alice’s? He tried to hide his grin, he was sure of it. Your baby would be Baron Samedi’s protégée.

“ Because her soul wasn’t mine to collect.” Baron Samedi sighed. “ The baby and.. Alice’s soul has been used for a ritual. That’s what I felt. Trey earned more power by this kill… Even if I think he only wished for the child’s death.”

“ And you can’t do anything about it?” Asked Alastor.

“ I could. We all can. But this is a silent law, if a soul is spoken for, you don’t touch it. The soul has to reach for you for us to be able to do something.” Baron Samedi sighed. “ I don’t even think Samael knows he has souls that are spoken on his name…” 

Alastor thought about it, Lucifer owned souls from what Baron Samed said, but he wasn’t aware of it? How could such a powerful being be so… Ah nevermind, right now he needed to focus on you. After talking with the spirit he took you to the bathroom and ran a warm bath.

Alastor asked you if you wanted him to stay with you, if he should take a break from work but you kissed him, saying you shouldn’t show any kind of weakness about Trey. He stared at you before smiling at you.

“ Let me handle it. At least, let me do my hunt alone.” He whispered against your naked skin. You closed your eyes before nodding. For once, you let him all the cards, he would do as he liked, no matter how cruel his methods were.

He asked Mimzy to make sure she kept an eye on the Felleur, after all, John liked to come to her bar with friends to drink. Alastor was sure he just came to drink to forget you weren’t his. How pathetic.

Months after this nightmare your belly had grown bigger, and you felt your baby move inside of you. The first time it happened, you screamed so loudly that Alastor almost tripped as he ran toward you. His shadow was already at your side, snarling at everything and anything. 

His eyes were burning red as he entered your room and you gestured him to come closer, placing his hand on your belly. He seemed confused, still smiling, but when he felt your baby kick, he gasped, taking back his hand. His shadow, though, was eagerly touching your stomach, with childish curiosity.

Did you scream because the baby move? Don’t scare him like this ever again.

Alastor’s eyes were wide, his stare not leaving your belly. You giggled as he touched your belly once more. He was so lost, you both created something that was living. He was curious about what the child would look like. 

During all those months he took care of you, and investigated Trey, from his childhood to his wedding with Alice. He would stay in his office and write everything about the man. Trey was a very pious man, he gave a lot of money to religious buildings, he would always go to church on Sunday.

The perfect religion man.

He groaned. He couldn’t find anything about Trey… Nothing ! He slammed his fist against his desk. How can this man be so perfect… He was the perfect white gentleman, nobody would try to stand in front of him.

Nobody but him. How he couldn’t wait to kill him, showing him he is nothing but a human against him.

Now, he hasn't killed anyone since Alice’s death. He was focused on Trey, yes, but Alice was also the one who would give him names about the people in the high sphere that were destined to be killed by him. With Alice’s death, his contact had vanished…

Well, almost.

The spies Alice put in the police were still there, and they were faithful to him. 

“ Seems like you are still useful, even in death, Alice.” He sighed with a smirk. Even dead, if he used her name, doors would magically open. He asked her spies to keep eyes on Trey but his most useful spy was the butler in the RicheMont’s house. The one who asked you to find the murderer.

Alastor sent him a letter to meet him and the man agreed. When he asked him if he could count on him to spy on Trey, the old man nodded with a determined gaze.

“ Alice was just like my own daughter. I’ll help you as I can Mr. Sanglar.”

He had a pawn inside Trey’s own house, he had pawns in the police and he had pawns inside the administration. Alyzée was still his ally, more than ever after Alice’s death. With all of this, he knew he was going to make Trey fall.  He knew Trey would slip. He wasn’t perfect, he was a human being. He would make an error and then,

Échec et Mat.

He discovered that Trey was the one behind his possession. It was not the christian couple, the eye he saw was a power from Trey. But he hasn't tried anything since then. Why? And furthermore, what was his new goal? Alice was dead, his reason for living was dead, why was he still alive?

He sighed, putting his face between his hands. From his investigation of the man, the only thing that could explain he was still alive was that he wanted to take revenge on him and you. He did everything to have Alice, but it ended up with her death. He must think you were the one that created this situation…

Now, the question was, was John with him on that. His spies in the police told him that not too long ago, John said he went to Alastor's mother's house and found human bones after digging into the forest. 

Alastor knew it was his father’s bones but John couldn’t use that against him. He trespassed again on a property that didn’t belong to him. But he would have to be more careful, John was getting closer to finding more clues about his murders. 

He looked at the clock and smiled when he saw it was time for him to go home. Finally, he couldn't wait to feel your arms around his body. He drove back home, the windows down, enjoying the wind on his sweating skin.

He parked his car and smiled when he saw you with his mother. He hugged his mother before kissing your forehead. He drove her mother to your mother’s place where she was supposed to eat.

His mother told him that she began to work with spirit once more. He didn’t ask her to stop or keep going, his mother had relations with other spirits, as long as she took care of herself, he would never stop her from reaching to spirits.

He drove back home and entered your house. He walked toward the kitchen and smiled when he saw his shadow helping you cut fruits. He walked toward you and hugged you from behind, kissing your neck before lifting slightly your belly. You moaned when you felt the weight being taken away from you. 

You turned your head toward him to ask him but he kissed youYou turned around and crapped your arms around his shoulder, kissing him back with the same gentleness he was giving you.Aah, how he loved coming back to you after a day of work.

“ Mhn?” He looked at his shadow. “ John was here?”

“ Oh, yes… Let me tell you.”

You both sat on the sofa in the living room, eating your salade de fruit, Alastor already giving up his bowl to you as you already finished your second bowl while telling him what happened. He knew you enjoyed this, and you didn’t want to ask him for his share of fruits. So, he would just give you his bowl when he could see you were still hungry, saying he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“ He didn’t. How could he think I did this all alone? I was helped by an angel.” He said, smiling as he kissed the back of your hand

“ An angel, huh?” you smirked as you ate from Alastor’s bowl.

“ A fallen angel then. I saw you flying high in the sky… you seemed so out of reach, you seemed to enjoy yourself…So of course, I had to drag you down to me so I could admire you closer.” He smirked down at you. “ You didn't really try to run away, dearest…”

“ Well, maybe it was because I saw you down there. I was curious, you looked almost as proud as if you could fly yourself. So when you decided to take me, I accepted because I didn’t want to fly in a sky where you weren’t.” You smiled at him.

His pupils dilated before he squeezed you in his arms, being mindful of your belly. You laughed as he bit your shoulder and your neck. You vile temptress… Saying those words that made him want to cut his name in your flesh…

“ Alastor… How is our child going to be? I wondered…” You looked at the ceiling as you felt your husband’s hand on your belly.

“ Mhn… Let's say. for their own good, they should have your innocent face so they can easily trick people. They should have my way with words. Darling, you are too emotional sometimes, so they should have my patience…” He mused as he looked at you.

“ Mhn… Are we going to show them Voodoo..?”

He wanted it. If his observations weren’t wrong, he knew Baron Samedi would take your child under his wing, making them his protégée. It would be very useful, it would make you both more powerful. And from his research, to kill Trey and John, you would have to have more allies in the spirit realm.

“ Mhn… I… Would you?” He asked you, his voice a soft whisper. He hoped you shared his view for your child’s future…

“I would.”

“ Well, that’s perfect! Because I think they should work with Kalfu because–”

“ No way Alastor, our baby isn’t going to work with Kalfu.” you said, looking at him in the eyes. He almost pouted which seemed to  make you grin.

“ But, they would work with a powerful spirit,” he mumbled. “ don’t you think? For their security?” Would you let your child work with the man who had power over death..?

“ They could work with Papa Legba.” You said, with a happy grin. Alastor rolled his eyes at you, making you laugh. Of course, you wanted them to work with Legba… You kissed his cheek and you both kept talking about your child’s future until it was time to go to bed. You took Eamon with you and walked toward your bedroom. Since your pregnancy, you were always hugging your plushie… How cute.

 Alastor laid next to you in bed with a book in his hand, reading. You closed your eyes and fell asleep with a little smile.

You woke up with a gasp, soaked in sweat. You sat up as you groaned in pain. 

“ Darling?”

Alastor stared at you, surprised. It hadn’t been two hours since you fell asleep. He watched as you took the blanket off you and he couldn’t help but swear.

“ Fuck…”

The bed was wet…so wet.. between your legs… What did his mother teach him already… Oh yes, did your water break?

“ Water, my Alastor broke!” you screamed, completely scared out of your mind. 

Ah, he was confused but he didn’t break completely, dear.

He sended his shadow to take what you would need in the hospital. Blanket, food, Eamon, anything. He kneeled next to you when he saw your panicked face.

“ Alright darling, breathe with me okay? You're okay, you are splendid.”

“ Alastor!” You screamed in pain.

“ Of course.” He stood up and carried you in his arms, running toward his car, being mindful of your shaking form. He scoffed when he saw his shadow panicking, taking everything with him– Did it just take a candle? Whatever, he didn’t have the time for this.

Alastor placed you in the car and drove to the nearest hospital while trying to calm you. He looked at his shadow which gave you Eamon as you screamed in the car. His shadow looked so scared, it was cute. But hearing your screams of pain was making him panicked. He knew that giving birth wasn’t easy, but giving life shouldn’t take a life in exchange !

“ Where is it?” you shouted.

“ What? What is where?” asked Alastor as he kept a hand on your knee and the other one on the steering wheel. What were you talking about? Did he forget something? DShould he send his shadow–

“ My shadow !” You cried, squeezing Eamon against you so hard he was wondering if you could break it.

“ It’s not important right now, darling.” said Alastor, his smile strained. Why were you thinking about your shadow right now?

“ I want my shadow!” You hollered. He drove faster, were you losing your mind? 

Alastor stopped in front of the hospital, left the car before taking you in his arms and running inside the building. The nurses took care of you but asked him to stay outside the room. He stared as the nurses disparear inside the room where he could hear your screams.

He chuckled, his smile widening. Did they really think he would stay here while you were screaming in pain. He walked toward the door, ready to bashed it open until he heard you.

“ Where is my husband?” You yelled. “ Bring him here!”

He took a step back and smiled at the nurses who had asked him, a moment ago, to stay here. He walked toward you once he was inside the room, taking your hand in his. You were sweating so much, how was he supposed to know if everything that was happening was normal?

“ Alastor..!” You cried as he kissed you multiple times before kissing your hand.

“ Darling, no matter what happened… Stay here for me.” He pleaded with his eyes. He didn’t know what was happening, you were screaming, the nurses were running everywhere and he was…

Useless.

“ I will stay…” You choked out those words.” I won’t leave you..” 

He hoped you would curse him with your words. You would stay by his side, forever and ever. Your existence was meaningless without him, and it was the same for him.You both wouldn’t live without the others. Was that a weakness or your force, he didn’t know, he didn’t care.

If someone told him he was at his weakness because he was with you, he would kill him to prove him wrong. You were making him so strong, you were… You were at his side.

 You will be by my side.

‘ I will stay, nothing will separate us. ‘

“ She is bleeding too much, call the doctors!”

He wanted to punch the nurses. She was making unwelcomed noises. His grip on your hands tightened, if he had to choose between you and the baby, he hoped you wouldn’t be mad at him for choosing you. His forehead was against your forearm. He didn’t know what to do. What should he do?

 Nothing can tear us apart. I dragged you on earth with me. You are my only light. You are my sanity.

“ Miss, please just a little more! Don’t give up!”

You never gave up. You would never give up, right? As long as he was breathing next to you, you didn’t have the right to give up. He broke your wings so you couldn’t fly away from him.

‘ I joined you… Because I wanted to live this life with you… And the next one too…’

 Darling..?

‘Alastor…’

His hand was shaking. You wouldn’t leave him. You didn’t have the right. From the moment you came inside his home when you were a child, from the moment you kept pestering him so you could be friends, from the moment you accepted to kill his father with him, from the moment you accepted to be his wife… You cursed yourself each time you made those decisions, you couldn’t run away now.

Alastor… We have a girl…

Alastor’s head jerked up and he stared at you with his eyes wide open. He stared at you and only you.  He didn’t care about the baby right now, he needed to be sure you were okay. When he saw you smiling, his body relaxed and he kissed your forehead, pushing his lips against your skin, his body still shaking a little.

Alastor then looked at the baby in your arms. 

“ She has my eyes…” Alastor whispered, astonished. It was strange… seeing something that he always saw on himself, on somebody else.

“ You seem surprised…” you whispered, your voice hoarse from your screaming.

“ No… it’s just…I mean.. The way they shine… It’s definitely from you. “ You watched as your husband looked at your daughter.  How strange. His daughter… had his complexion, the same eye color.. Yet, the way her eyes were shining reminded him of you. Was that the definition of a child? 

“ She is beautiful, how should you name her?”

You looked at Alastor who was staring at you. You both have talked about multiple names depending on the gender of your baby.He knew what you wanted to name your first child. When you first told him, he was confused. Naming a baby after someone who died.. But then, he began to think about it.

Alice was the first one to encourage you for this relationship, she accepted the both of you when he told her he killed his father. Naming his child after a dead person… Naming his first child after one of the people who made an impact on his life… didn’t seem so bad. 

My child, might you be as useful as she was.

“ Yes… she shall be named…Alice.” 

Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz @boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi @diamond-almond @fangirlbitch02 @saccharine-nectarine @thenorthnightingale @bibliophile-yomna @itzjustj-1000 @mothraantics @yourdoorisunlocked @phamtasic @karmakillz @holographicage @sarcastic-sourwolf @akuraluna2468 @everwolf-20 @thesunandmoons-blog @songbrita @noraunor @fandomsbookclub @hokkaido97 @catticora @gasiacos @charlottemorningstarsdarling @nekee-lilac02

[chkn-soup]

PHOTOSHOOT

—————————————————————

Warnings: cursing/foul language, explicit sexual content, DUBCON/NONCON (for reference I don’t condone any of these acts IRL) fondling, Somno!!

Syno: Vox (your fellow Vee) is a massive pervert towards you!!

(This is a very short story y’all’s I’m sorry I’ll try to post longer stuff after this one!!)

————————————

He’s always sneaking into her parts of the tower, trailing into her bedroom in the darkest hours of the night. First preforming a couple of simple tests on her to make sure she’s sound asleep and then venturing his way down, pulling her panties to the side, caressing her milky thighs softly to feel the way her soft skin goosebumps and tingles under his very touch, of his hard metal skin.

He’s sniffing the strong scent of her pussy while she mumbles in content without a clue that her coworker and friend, who she trusts so much, is violating her and taking advantage of her pathetic defenseless state.

Obviously the TV demon can’t let this sight go to waste, taking photos of her strongly scented sex, to use when he’s stroking his metallic cock to the thought of her.

He’s fucking around and being coy while lifting her shirt up to see her perky breasts that only adds to her cuteness and her adorably soft figure, the figure that aroused him oh so bad.

He knew how much of an asshole he was to be doing this to her while she wasn’t even conscious, but he knew that while he had this open time with her, he couldn’t waste it. Often coming into her room in the dead of night to fuck with her body, prodding at it, licking her, pinching her skin softly and sometimes even leaving hickies that she’d think were just bruises.

He continues his venture, his long sharp claws spread open her now swollen lips, bringing the camera close, flash on as the camera snaps, and a new photo is added to his camera roll and personal database, a photo of her gaping hole, beginning to clench around nothing and moisten at the soft attention.

He felt ashamed really, he was a dirtbag, he broke her trust anytime he’d do this, but why was she so tempting, so innocent and small, she was too sexy for her own good, it made it all the better to take advantage of her, especially when she had no knowledge of it at all.

He chuckles and his chest reverberates as he lets out a groan, his screen becoming brighter the more he looks at her sleeping state. He begins recording a video, he records videos sometimes but mostly photos are easier and sneakier, much to his liking. But videos..with the some that he has, he knows that videos get to him real good, always getting him off much faster than a snapshot of just her hardened nipples.

The camera pans up her body, deliciously limp, goosebumps adorning her skin and her nipples becoming more puffy by the second, his slender claws play with them, flicking them and pinching them in between his index and his thumb, the hardness feeling godsend between his fingers, were her nipples hard because she was enjoying this? He always had these thoughts that went to his head, and only fueled his actions. There was no way your subconscious wasn’t enjoying this too atleast, right?

His hand fully envelops the plushy breast, kneading the mountain of flesh on her chest greedily all the while making sure the camera catches it all at the best angle.

His hand then dips lower once he’s bored of just playing with her chest.

He cups her warm pussy feeling the wetness and heat it’s radiating, he pulls the panties out of the way once more and dips a finger into her hole, thoroughly enjoying the squelch of her walls as his fingers fully submerges itself into her hole.

And eventually when he’d finish his mini photo shoot with her perfect breasts and her now swollen pussy, he’d quietly teleport off- (most likely through the hidden cameras he has in your chambers) -like nothing happened, and go to shut down for the night or continue his late night working.

And in the morning he’d put on his best fake smile, just to assure her that he would never do anything wrong to her, even with his phone filled with photos upon photos even videos of her body.

———-

Sorry it’s so short guys!! I was just aching to get this out!! Say hello to my first story!! :3

[matchavellichor]

i’m not sure if your requests are open (if they’re closed just ignore this lmao!!) but hear me out: the yule ball’s coming up and mc has been receiving several gifts from people trying to woo her. meanwhile, sebastian is jealous and pouty and building up the courage to ask her to the ball……… until one of the gifts she had been given is doused with amortentia and she suddenly starts acting all lovey dovey towards some other guy. and sebastian realizes this, and ominis has to pretty much hold him by the neck of his shirt to prevent him from throttling someone

A.N: ty for the request! i adore jealous protective sebastian Aaaa <3

A Worrisome Box of Chocolates

Sebastian Sallow x f!MC - Fluff - 2.6k Words

Tags: Banter, Pining, "Un"requited Love, Inappropriate Use of Amortentia, Jealous Sebastian, Protective Sebastian, Friends to Lovers

“Oh, give me a fucking break,” Sebastian scowled, gaze trained on Amit as he crossed the courtyard to approach her, a bouquet of prissy, yellow flowers in hand. “Is there a single person in this school who isn’t going to try to ask her?” 

“You, apparently,” Ominis murmured, licking a finger to turn the page of his paperback.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Ominis feigned innocence.

“Gods, I’m going mad,” Sebastian looked ready to pull out chunks of hair. “Okay, you know what, tonight will be the night. Yes, tonight. I’ll wait up for her after dinner and— actually, she’ll probably be too tired, right? We have double potions today. Alright, tomorrow then. Perfect, yes, tomorrow morning. Damn it, no, that won’t work, there’s that—”

Ominis looked ready to pull out chunks of hair himself. He sighed. “How about now, Sebastian? She’s right there, for heaven's sake, just walk up to her.”

Sebastian scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Ominis, that’s a terrible idea.”

Ominis hit his forehead against the cover of his book in a desperate measure to cling to sanity. He turned his head towards the entrance of the courtyard. 

“Suit yourself. However, I see Leander making his way over to ask her now.”

Sebastian’s head whipped around at neck-breaking speeds. “What? Where?” 

Ominis quickly capitalized on this narrow window for escape, slipping from the bench they were on.

“He’s not—” Sebastian turned back perplexed to an empty seat. “Oh, you git —you can’t even see!” 

//

When Sebastian finally made his way back to the common room after an entire day of watching other students fawn over her in their shared classes, she was already there, curled up near the fireplace chatting with Ominis. 

He attempted to exude nothing but platonic indifference as he plopped down on the couch beside his two friends with a sigh. 

“Long day?” She looked concerned. Ominis looked aggravatingly amused.

“You have no idea,” He muttered, intentionally omitting the reasons for his sour disposition. He glanced at the package in her hand. “Where on earth did you get so much chocolate?”

She flushed. “One of the older Ravenclaw boys gave it to me.” She outstretched the box towards him. “Want some?” 

Sebastian tried his very best to suppress his look of revulsion, he truly did. Unfortunately, he was only able to school his expression into a mild sense of loathing. “I’m alright.”

She shrugged and popped a square into her mouth. She hummed at the gratifying taste of sugar melting on her tongue, ignoring the strange aftertaste in her mouth. She ate another. 

Sebastian watched perplexed when after a few bites in, she suddenly shot up from her seat, box of chocolates forgotten and scattered onto the emerald carpet. 

“Uh, where are you going?”

“I have to go see him,” Her voice was soft, almost wistful.

Ominis looked equally as confused. “See who?”

She paused, contemplating. “Oh, I’m actually not sure of his name…” Her brows furrowed. “None the matter, what’s important is just how strongly I feel for him — oh, my heart just might burst.” 

She attempted her departure once again but Sebastian quickly grabbed her by the back of her robes, sitting her back down on the couch. She looked deeply unpleased with this hindrance. 

“It’s past curfew, are you mad?” He looked at her bewildered. “You’ll have to wait to see your lover tomorrow.” He didn’t even bother to conceal his jealous sneer as he said the word.

“Lover?” She mumbled, almost trance-like. “Oh my, do you think he loves me, too?” She gasped and tried to stand from her seat again. “Well I just have to see him now! Maybe he’ll ask for my hand in marriage.” 

Sebastian sat her back down yet another time and glanced over his shoulder to Ominis as if to ask a little help here, but quickly found the blonde preoccupied with burying his nose in her discarded box of chocolates.

He held the box in front of Sebastian’s face, who was still struggling to detain a very eager witch who was much stronger than her size let on. “Smell this.”

“What? Why—”

“Just smell it— tell me what you smell.”

Sebastian obliged with a sigh and picked up nothing but the rich notes of chocolate at first, until it hit him. 

Lavender, crushed dittany leaves, and the slightest hint of mallowsweet. He recognized it immediately, the scent derived from the very witch beside him, the same scent that’s been wafting from his Amortentia brews in Professor Sharp’s classes for months.

Sebastian turned back to her immediately, grabbing her face in his hands. He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes to find her pupils blown abnormally large, almost glazed-over with artificial infatuation. His suspicions were confirmed.

He saw red.

“I’m going to strangle him.” He gritted, teeth clenched as he stepped away from her.

Ominis rose from his seat to place a placating hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “Hold on a second, Sebastian, we have to help her first—”

“No, I’m going to torture him first, and then I’m going to strangle him.” Sebastian amended, pacing the room in his rage, Ominis’ pleas falling on deaf ears.

Ominis quickly took his place in trying to restrain her attempts at escaping the common room. “Are you even listening to me?”

“How fast do you think Garreth could brew me a love potion for a blast-ended skrewt if I asked? I should give this prick a taste of his own medicine.” His fists tensed at his sides as he rambled, self-consumed. “Make him walk around with third-degree burns for the rest of the semester.” 

“Sebastian, will you snap out of it?” Ominis hissed. “I promise to be an accomplice to his murder, but after we get her an antidote!” 

She suddenly darted for the door and the blonde had to catch her with an arm around her waist, dragging her away. 

“Ominis, let me go! He’s the love of my life, please!” She thrashed frantically.

“Hold on, stop struggl— ow!” Ominis gasped, incredulous, flailing his hand in pain. “She just bit me! Sebastian, stop planning his demise and help me, before she realizes she has a wand!” 

Ominis immediately regretted his words as she proceeded to wrench her arm out of his grip, dipping her hand into her pocket. Finally catching Sebastian’s attention, both boys dove for her, yanking the wand out of her hand despite her frustrated shrieks. 

Out of breath, Ominis attempted to calm her. “We’ll go take you to the love of your life now, how does that sound? He’s very excited to see you, but you have to calm down.”

She finally stilled, a lovesick smile pulling across her lips. “Is he really?” she sighed, dreamy. “Of course he is, we’re meant to be…Oh, what do you think our children will look like, Sebastian? Maybe they’ll have his eyes and my lips—”

Sebastian looked on the brink of bursting a blood vessel. “Please, let’s get her to Garreth before I find this vermin and do something violent.”

//

Sebastian and Garreth huddled over his personal potioneering kit in the Gryffindor common room, meanwhile Ominis tried to calm her restlessness on one of the couches.

“Is he almost here? What’s taking him so long?” She pouted, arms crossed around her middle. 

“What’s taking you so long?” Sebastian hissed in a hushed whisper, eyes narrowed at Garreth. “Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of expert at this?” 

“Antidotes take time! Whoever did this to her used something strong.” Garreth stirred the murky liquid in the cauldron before them, unpleasant fumes bubbling from the surface. “Who did do this to her anyways?” 

“Some Ravenclaw prick. Go fucking figure,” Sebastian seethed. “Speaking of which, do you have any potions that inflict painful, long-lasting boils? Preferably one that leaves permanent damages?” 

Ominis piped up from the couch like an owner scolding an unruly dog. “Sebastian, no.”

“Sebastian, yes.” Garreth grinned, looking just as intrigued and vengeful. “I actually have just the thing, I’ve been wanting to test it out for a while now.”

Ominis went to chastise the both of them, but a petulant whine beside him pulled his attention. “Ominiiiis. Where is he? I miss him so much, I can’t bear it. Will you take me to him?” 

Ominis sighed, and told himself that the fact he survived this day without casting a bombarda to his own skull yet was a testament to his great mental fortitude. 

He patted her shoulder. “He’s on his way, be patient, yes? He’s just getting some uh…flowers for you.” 

Her face lit up with a gasp. “Is he? Oh, how can someone be so romantic? Isn’t he just so perfect?”

Sebastian looked ready to hurl on the tacky, red and gold carpet he was crouched on. 

“Aha!” Garreth flicked off the flames underneath his cauldron with a wave of his wand, procuring a ladle to scoop the viscous substance into a vial. “All done. Here, give this to her and I’ll get started on the Boils Brew.” 

“No Boils Brew!” Ominis shot up to object. 

Sebastian kneeled by her on the couch, uncorking the glass and holding it to her mouth. “Here, drink this.”

She wrinkled her nose at the smell, twisting her lips shut.

He sighed. “It’s a present from your…beloved,” Sebastian choked on the word. “He really wanted me to give it to you.”

She worried her bottom lip between her teeth in consideration before she finally let him pour the bitter-tasting liquid in her mouth, swallowing with a grimace.

Sebastian waited with bated breath as her pupils slowly shrank back to normal size, pulling her out of her trance-like state. Confusion quickly crossed over her face. 

“Why the hell are we in the Gryffindor common room?”

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief, immediately tugging her into a bear-hug that compressed all the oxygen out of her lungs.

“Sebastian, you’re strangling me,” she choked, voice strained. 

“Sorry,” he murmured sheepishly, pulling back. “You’re actually not the one I want to strangle.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me we’re here because you’re trying to murder Leander again. It was one time, I don’t think he even meant for that swarm of vampyr mosps to find your dorm specifically.”

Garreth winced from behind them. “He definitely did.” 

“Thank you for reminding me of that,” Sebastian looked prepared to commit double homicide. “But no, I actually have to head to the Ravenclaw tower.” He glanced over his shoulder as he stood up. “You coming, Garreth?” 

Garreth scoffed as he packed up his equipment. “Obviously.”

She watched, utterly bewildered, as the two made their departure together as if they were the best of friends, any past grievances forgotten in favor of some mutual vengeance. She was half-convinced she was experiencing visual hallucinations as a side-effect to whatever toxic sludge Garreth had brewed for her to drink.

Sebastian pushed open the portrait door of the common room. “You share a dorm with Leander, don’t you?” 

Garreth nodded.

He gave the ginger a friendly clap on the shoulders. “Heads up, sleep in the common room tomorrow night.”

Ominis pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long-suffering sigh, the state of this new, unlikely truce making that self-inflicted bombarda seem exponentially more tempting. 

//

Slipping back into the Slytherin common room in the wee hours of the night after his escapade to the Ravenclaw tower, Sebastian was thoroughly exhausted and fully prepared to sink into bed and never get up again.

His plans changed as soon as he caught sight of the witch curled up on the wingback chair in front of the fireplace, nearly dozing off. She shot up as soon as she heard his footsteps, rising to her feet. 

“You should be in bed,” he scolded lightly. “You’ve been through enough tonight.” 

“I was waiting for you,” she shifted nervously in place. “I wanted to thank you. Ominis, uh…filled me in about what happened. Said you were pretty upset.” 

Pink tinged the freckled tops of his cheeks. “I was just a bit worried is all,” he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. “He’s exaggerating.” 

She laughed. “It’s just,” she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know, I guess I didn’t expect you to care as much as you did. You’ve never really…” she shook her head, dismissing the thought. “Nevermind. Thank you, really.” 

“It’s what any friend would do.” Sebastian tried to suppress a wince as he said the word, hating the taste of it in his mouth. 

“Right, yeah,” she bobbed her head. “Friends.” 

He didn’t miss the way she almost looked disappointed as she nodded. Something warm and hopeful bloomed in his chest. He crossed the small space between them, breaching the gap before he could talk himself out of what he wanted to do, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

“I care about you dearly, you understand that, don’t you?” he asked, his voice timid. 

She nodded. “Of course, you and Ominis are both very—”

“No,” he interrupted. “Not like that. I mean, yes, Ominis cares for you, of course, but…” he sighed. “What I’m trying to say is that I care for you…differently. I have for quite a while now.” 

Her brows knit together. “I’m not sure I follow, Sebastian.”

“I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

Her eyes widened, followed by her entire expression falling. “Well, geez — rude, but if that’s what—”

“No, wait — shit, that’s not— I do want to be your friend, of course,” he shook his head, amending, “Or well, no, I actually don’t, I—” he groaned. “I want to be more than friends.” 

It finally all clicked for her, like the pieces of a puzzle falling perfectly in place. She smiled then, a delighted laugh escaping her lips. Sebastian grinned just as brightly, taking her hands in his, elation bursting in his chest at her finally understanding.

“You want to be best friends.” 

His smile faded and his head dropped to her shoulder. “Merlin help me.”

She burst out laughing then, nearly doubling over.

“I’m messing with you, oh my gods, come here,” she took her face in his hands. “I understand.” 

“Oh, thank Circe,” he breathed a sigh of relief.

She raised an eyebrow, smirking. “For quite a while, huh?” 

He nodded, a bit embarrassed. “It’s terrible. I’ve been head over heels for you pretty much ever since you kicked my ass in Hecat’s class.”

She crossed her arms. “Well, in that case, I’m very upset with you.” 

Sebasian blanched. “Oh gods, what have I done this time?” 

“Made me wait around like a fool for weeks for you to ask me to the dance,” she batted his chest. “Just out of spite, I think I’ll go with Leander.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “Well, then just out of spite, I think Leander might find himself bedridden in the nurse’s ward for the next few weeks.” 

She bit back a smile. “You’re incorrigible.” 

He shrugged. “I simply protect what’s mine.” 

She scoffed. “Oh, is that what I am now?” 

He nodded, a smug grin plastered on his face. “Well, I’ve been yours for the longest time now, I think it’s only fair.”

She laughed. “Have you now? I suppose it is fair then, huh?”

Something flickered behind his eyes. “Well, there’s only one way to make it truly fair.” 

She raised a brow. “Oh? And how’s that?” 

With one hand to the small of her back, he pulled her flush to him, and curled the other in the nape of her neck to bring her lips down to his. 

He kissed her until he was sure there were no doubts about exactly who she belonged to, and who he belonged to just as devotedly. 

[chiibinomonodamon]

WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD

(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)

Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol

I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.

What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.

Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.

FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.

I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).

Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.

I saw people asking:

"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"

Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.

See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.

But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.

'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)

It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.

We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.

He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.

Why?

Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.

They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.

This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.

But you know this already so let's move on...

Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.

When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.

NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:

Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:

"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"

Time Stamp: 11:37

As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask

"Well, ARE we in one?"

And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.

Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.

Time Stamp: 12:24

The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says

"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".

(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)

This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.

Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.

Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)

He even looks disappointed with himself.

After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".

He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps

"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!

I'm really just..." (14:28)

he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)

"...not in the mood, Stolas."

Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.

Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;

"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"

(14:42)

"You make that really clear all the time."

(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)

"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"

(Finally meets his eye)

"...I'm sorry."

I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".

Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.

An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.

As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.

He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that

"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.

And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.

I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.

The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.

To recap:

*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him

*Stolas is extremely happy about it

*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation

*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart

*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex

*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.

*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.

So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.

Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.

Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.

So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;

I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.

It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.

In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao

In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(

Reasons I Think This Love is Real

Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.

After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.

Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.

'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.

In S2 E6 OOPS

This exchange at 16:57

Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?

Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!

It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...

(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)

"it's nothing else."

Fizz: Then why were you even there?

Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.

Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.

Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!

(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)

Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.

It's a novelty to him.

Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!

Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!

And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...

Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!

Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??

Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)

Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...

Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!

No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)

To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.

There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:

[the-boy-meets-evil]

today of all days | vernon

(the lull of the new year never really comes for you, which is fine. it's better to be busy. this year, you're a little too busy planning something else to worry much about valentine's day. It's never been your favorite holiday anyway. but, could your boyfriend have forgotten in entirely?)

pairing: vernon x afab!reader genre: est. relationship, non-idol!au | smut, slight angst, fluff rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~4.6k warnings: mentions of food, there's a little angst, but it's mostly miscommunication, kissing, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, marking, unprotected sex (don't do this without talking about it), multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, i think that's it

a/n: happy valentine's day to the always wonderful, absolutely amazing @wonwussy 💕 it's been so much fun to get to write this for you. i hope you enjoy it! this is part of @svthub's cupid for you valentine's exchange organized by my bby @wongyuseokie (who is very amazing and also made the banner & divider). happy valentine's (and carat day)!

There’s usually kind of a lull at the beginning of the new year. Like everyone decides that after the holidays, you’re due for a break. People try to work on their resolutions, businesses expect to see the drop off in their sales. Everything just feels more peaceful. It’s that calm before the storm when everything picks up again. 

Not for you, though. At least not this year. February brings Valentine’s Day and your boyfriend’s birthday. You don’t really care that much about the former. It’s nice to have someone to celebrate with, and you’re sure the two of you will do something, but it’s nothing crazy. As long as you have him and a quiet night in, you’re good. It’s the latter of the two things that’s keeping an otherwise peaceful time from being peaceful. 

Here’s the thing. Vernon isn’t one to make a big deal of his birthday, never has been. He feels similar to the way you feel about Valentine’s Day. He likes to do something to mark the passing of time, definitely enjoys the presents, but doesn’t feel the need for it to be some huge thing. It’s a little difficult, too, because he’s got another friend with the same birthday. For the years that they’ve been friends, they’ve always tried to work it around each other. Seokmin is a year older and feels a little more strongly about birthdays as something that should be celebrated. Somehow, that led to this year. A coordinated birthday for the two of them with all their friends there to celebrate the both of them. Two different cakes, two different contributions to the menu, and twice as many people to coordinate with. 

To say it’s been a bit of a headache is an understatement.

You love Vernon. He’s been your person for over two years and you wouldn’t trade him for the world. You also love to plan things for other people as a way to show them how much you care. This has just been a bigger undertaking than you imagined. Especially when you have to keep the party under wraps. Vernon knows you’re doing something with a group of friends. He thinks it’s only a small group. But, he’ll appreciate it all the same. Just like he seems to appreciate everything that you do. 

“Babe,” Vernon calls from the living room. He’s in the middle of gaming with Wonwoo, connected by their headsets.

“Yeah?” you answer.

“Wonwoo says that I’m gonna get in trouble for not planning some big thing for Valentine’s,” Vernon tells you.

You can hear the protests from Vernon even through the headset, which makes you chuckle. “As long as we get to cook something together and have a night in, I’m good.” 

“See?” Vernon says triumphantly. There’s a pause where Wonwoo must be asking something. “Oh, yeah, I’m definitely getting a gift.” 

“What?” you ask with clear surprise. Gifts were not part of the plan for this year.

“It’s nothing big, but I’ve got the perfect idea,” Vernon says with a familiar look of mischief. 

“Oh no, no you are not,” you counter. He bursts out in a cackle. “Vernon, you are not getting strawberry flavored condoms for Valentine’s Day. We don’t even use condoms.” 

The laugh through Vernon’s headset is just as loud. You would probably be embarrassed if it was anyone else, but Wonwoo has been in both of your lives long enough that most barriers have been erased. 

“No, don’t worry, that wasn’t actually it. I have a plan,” Vernon says and you watch him suspiciously. “Promise!”

You decide to let it lie for the time being. At least partly, because you don’t want to keep standing there while he’s playing video games. Partly because you knew it meant he would be distracted enough that you could sneak off to the bedroom to make a call about the party. 

Jeonghan had not been your first choice for a party planning committee because sometimes it’s hard to get an actual thought out of him. You’re not always sure what he’s thinking. But, he’s Seokmin’s best friend and one of the best schemers you know. Thankfully, these days he really only uses his talents for good. Well, it would be thankfully if you didn’t harbor a grudge over a prank he played when you first met. 

Miraculously, Jeonghan is also free and willing to do some final planning. It’s that stage where the final group of friends get clued in. Some friends, who shall remain nameless, had to find out much closer to the day. They just couldn’t be trusted to keep the secret. You’re actually impressed that you’ve managed to keep it from Vernon and Seokmin. You confirm that Vernon doesn’t know. He would have absolutely told you. Jeonghan also confirms that Seokmin doesn’t know because he can’t keep a secret either. 

When you wander back out into the living room, Vernon is still very engrossed in his game. You kiss the top of his head, watch the small smile with his eyes trained on the screen, and plop down at the other end of the couch. You prop your computer on your lap and reach for your headphones when Vernon turns to you between matches.

“Wanna order in for dinner?” he asks and you smile.

“Oh from that place around the corner?” you suggest. Vernon rolls his eyes without any real annoyance. It’s your favorite place.

“Whatever you want, babe,” he says and turns back to the game.

It’s easy, not only because you like it, but also since you know what he orders there. He’s kind of a creature of habit. Maybe you are too, since you always want to order from the same place. It’ll give you a chance to watch a few things while waiting as well as giving Vernon the chance to keep playing with Wonwoo. The gaming is always seamless for them after years of working together. 

When the food arrives, Vernon finishes his last game so that he can eat with you. It’s one of the things you love about him. He’s so thoughtful with things like that. When you first moved in with him, you were a little worried. You had never lived with a partner and weren’t sure how to navigate it. As it turns out, with the right person, it’s pretty easy. You leave each other to do your own things and then come together after.

“You’re sure you’re okay with a quiet Valentine’s Day?” he asks when you curl into him after dinner.

“It’s a little late if I’m not considering it’s in two days,” you say with a light laugh.

“I’m being serious,” he says. 

“I’m good, Vernon. I’ve got you and we’re going to make something together,” you say.

“I promise not to burn down the kitchen,” he assures you.

“You’ve been getting a lot better,” you say. “Plus, we also have dinner this weekend for your birthday.” 

“We don’t really have to do anything crazy for my birthday, you know. It’s so close to Valentine’s Day and…” Vernon trails off before you press a kiss to his lips.

“I love to celebrate your birthday. It’s another year of you and everyone should be thankful for that,” you say. 

Valentine’s morning comes bright and early. Sun streams through the cracks in your shades. Not quite enough to wake you up, but enough for you to know that it’s morning. You smile and stretch out, thinking it’s probably earlier than you need to be up. As you’re considering waking Vernon up to celebrate the day when you register an emptiness.

You’re the only one in the bed. 

You open your eyes and confirm what you already knew. Vernon isn’t in bed with you. The door to the bathroom is open and the light is off, so he’s not in there either. Although you prefer to lay in bed to wake up, curiosity gets the better of you and propels you out of bed to the living room. The entire apartment is quiet, still. Well, still apart from your cat that’s weaving between your legs. He doesn’t seem hungry, so you think he’s just wondering what you’re doing. It’s odd that he would have left the apartment so early in the morning. 

Padding back to the bedroom, you find your phone on the nightstand, plugged in like it always is. When you unlock it, you have a myriad of messages and notifications. Conspicuously absent, though, is a message from your boyfriend. There’s nothing to tell you where he is or went or could be. Which is odd, yes, but mostly it just makes you a little irritated. Sure, you don’t ever want to make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. It’s plenty to spend the day with someone you love that loves you back. 

Vernon can be a little spacy at times. It’s not his best quality, but it’s also impossibly endearing. Maybe it’s because you know how much he’s thinking about when he’s got that look like he’s never had a thought in his life. It also makes him really chill, which matches you well. He doesn’t always have to be going or doing something. But, he’ll just as happily go out and be your shield because he’s much more of a people person than you are. 

All this to say, there’s part of you that wonders if the holiday just slipped his mind. It’s not like it’s a big deal, you said as much to him. But, you still expect something. Even if it’s just to know where he is so early in the morning. You hate that you wonder if he forgot because you trust Vernon with your life. He can get distracted sometimes. One time, he got so caught up in a project that he entirely forgot dinner plans with his friends. 

The mature thing to do would be to send him a text and ask where he is or even to wish him a happy Valentine’s Day. You’re not feeling especially mature, though. And you feel very justified in that annoyance because he’s the one that left early. He should be the one to let you know where he is. It should not be on you.

Trying to push the thoughts of Vernon out of your mind, you get ready for the day. Opt to leave earlier so you can buy yourself something to eat and some coffee on the way. By the time you reach work, you’re even more irritated rather than calmer. Every radio station was playing love songs that fit the genre. Every host seems to want to know what people’s plans are for the day. The coffee shop by your office was decorated in red, white, and pink hearts with all sorts of specials for the day. When you head into the office, it only gets worse. People have flowers on their desks, are exchanging happy wishes, talking about how they can’t wait to get out of work for their plans. Some people are spending it with partners, others are spending it with friends. Either way, everyone seems to have plans that are better than whatever will be waiting when you get home. Why did Vernon have to pick today of all days to be forgetful? 

Your work best friend stops by your desk with the typical cup of coffee mid morning and stops in his tracks when he senses your mood.

“What’s wrong with your face?” Minho asks. 

“Wow, hello to you too,” you respond when you take the coffee from him.

“You seem like you’re in a bad mood,” he says. 

“Maybe I am,” you answer. 

“But, it’s Valentine’s Day and you have, like, the most perfect boyfriend. What’s there to be mad about?” he asks. 

“Can’t be the most perfect boyfriend if he was gone before I woke up and didn’t even text me to say anything,” you say with all the irritation you feel.

That catches Minho’s attention. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“I woke up and the bed was empty. No note. No text. Just empty,” you say. 

“And you haven’t heard from him?” Minho presses.

“No,” you say, only to be distracted by your phone lighting up.

“Looks like a message from him,” he observes.

You quickly glance at your phone, hating how eager you feel just to hear something from him. It’s disappointing, though.

Vernon: sorry that i wasn’t there when you woke up, i had a last minute errand Vernon: when do you think you’ll be home from work? 

Instead of telling Minho what happened, you just hand your phone over to him. His grimace says all you need to know. It’s not an overreaction. 

“That’s…all he’s said to you today?” he asks.

“You can scroll to see,” you say because he still has your phone.

“No thanks,” Minho says with a laugh. “I don’t wanna accidentally see something.”

“It was one time,” you say, snatching your phone back with an eye roll. 

“And I’m still scarred,” he says. “What are you going to say back?”

“Nothing,” you say.

“But…” he starts.

“No, I’m not saying anything. I know I’m chill about this holiday, but to not even say anything? And what errand does he have to do at 7 in the morning?” you ask, more irritated that you had been.

“If you want to hold onto a grudge, who am I to stop you?” he asks when he stands. “Let me know if he manages to get out of the dog house.” 

With that comment, he’s off to his own desk. It usually goes something like this every day anyway. Minho shows up with coffee for you, looking to see what you have to say. Even though he’s the one that has the best gossip. Sometimes, he just wants someone to share it with. It’s a nice reprieve from your irritation. One that he repeats in the afternoon, which is a break from the norm. Unfortunately, the irritation that settles in his wake is worse than before he stops by. 

You consider staying at work late when the end of the day comes. It’s not like you’re in a rush to head home. There’s also a part of you that wants to punish Vernon for forgetting a holiday that you don’t even care that much about. (Okay, maybe you care, but that’s the whole point of having someone you love that also loves you to spend it with.) Staying late by yourself feels even worse when nobody else from the office is. Everyone seems to be out the door as soon as the day ends. And, despite not answering any of Vernon’s messages, you know he’s home. At least it’ll give you the chance to figure out how to approach this.

The drive home gives you a chance to run through all sorts of conversations in your head. You’re still stewing, a bit, because you’re upset at how the day went. But, you’re also preparing yourself to have a potentially difficult conversation with Vernon. Of course, he’ll be receptive to your feelings. He always is. It’s more that you’re frustrated it happened in the first place and don’t want your feelings to seem invalid. 

All of that goes out the window the second you step into your apartment. The lights are low, so it takes your eyes a second to adjust. When they do, however, you see that Vernon has transformed your living room into a scene from your favorite video game. It’s like stepping into another world. Every little detail is so carefully thought out that you can’t even appreciate it all in one look. Your feet carry you forward to examine the small things. The ones that very obviously took extra effort. You’re so busy appreciating it all that you don’t even notice Vernon coming in from the kitchen.

“I know we said no presents, but I wanted to do this anyway. Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says, pulling you out of your head.

“How did you…” you ask, unable to even finish the question.

“I found someone who had this whole set for their ex and wanted to get rid of it. He was practically giving it away, but I had to go pick it up like 2 hours away,” he says.

You look around and can tell the level of care that went into creating this. “That’s why you were gone when I woke up?” 

“Yeah, I left you notes on breakfast in the fridge and coffee in the microwave, but I guess you didn’t see those,” he says. 

“I’m so sorry,” you say and don’t even realize that tears started to fall until Vernon’s pulling you into his arms.

“It’s fine, what are you sorry for?” he asks, holding you tightly.

“I spent the whole day thinking you forgot Valentine’s Day and being mad. That’s why I didn’t answer your texts,” you say.

“I just figured it was a busy day and you were excited to get home,” Vernon says.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeat.

He pulls back so that he can look down at you. Wipes the tears gently away from under your eyes. “It’s fine, babe. I’m not upset at you when I can be forgetful.” 

Nobody has ever done something like this for you. You can’t imagine how long it took to transform the living room this way. There aren’t any words you can think of to express how much it all means to you, so you just press your lips against his. Throw your hands around his neck to keep him close to you. He’s surprised, at least for a second, before he pulls you in tighter against him and kisses you back. It’s not the time to talk, at least not right now. How could you have thought this man would ever forget? 

“Can I show you what I was thinking about before I realized you were already gone this morning?” you ask when you break the kiss.

“Should I be concerned?” he asks.

“Just trust me,” you say and pull him into the bedroom with you. 

Any hesitations that he may have had disappear when you resume kissing him. Your fingers nimbly undo his pants so that you can slide them down his legs. The clothes come flying off in a flurry from there, far quicker than usual for the two of you. There’s just an urgency given the way the day went. Neither of you seems to want to let your lips leave the other. As Vernon kisses down your neck, you take the opportunity to push him back onto the bed.

It’s the first time you take a second and you appreciate how beautiful he is laying on the bed. The lean lines of his muscle, his eyes hungry as they drink your body in, the way his cock rests heavily on his stomach. You need to do something, though. You nudge his legs apart as you settle yourself onto the bed between them. 

“You don’t have to…” he starts and you’re quick to cut him off.

“I want to,” you insist. 

And you do. You take his cock into your hand and lick a stripe up it. It’s not enough, though, so you spit into your hand so you can run it along his length. He shudders under your touch. Once you wrap your lips around his tip, you pull a groan out of him. For just a second, his eyes close and his head lolls back on the pillow. It’s so pretty to watch him from this angle. To know that this man, usually so relaxed and chill, is so wound up under your power. It’s not long before he’s watching you, though. Letting out a stream of praise for how good you look with his cock in your mouth. How it turns him on, how you know just how to use your tongue. You hollow out your cheeks and it’s more than he can take.

Vernon pulls you up so that he can kiss you, so hard that you lose your breath. You’re a little off balance, which makes it easier for him to flip your positions. Now he’s the one between your legs. That same fervor is back when he spreads your lips so he can lick up your entrance. He’s always been insanely good with his mouth. It’s actually unfair. When his thumb circles your clit, you see stars for a second and arch your back into his mouth. All you can do is watch as he works his tongue in and out of your cunt. The thumb on your clit is bordering on too much sensation. Makes it hard for you to watch him even though you love the sight of him between your legs. 

“Fuck, Vernon, I need more,” you whine. 

“I should make you draw it out,” he says, still so close to your pussy that you can feel his breath.

“Please, Vernon, please,” you beg. You know it’ll make him cave.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he answers.

He runs his fingers through your folds before sliding one into your pussy. The moment his mouth finds your clit, he inserts a second finger and pumps into you at a punishing pace. It’s everything you can do not to squirm under his efforts. As it is, the words coming out of your mouth are entirely incoherent. What you want to say is that he’s a god with both his mouth and his fingers. That he knows just how to fit you where you need him most. That nobody has ever felt as good as him.

What you manage to yell out: “Oh my fucking god, I’m gonna come.” 

Vernon hums against your clit and it’s all too much. Your release is nearly instant. You don’t even notice how he guides you through your high or that he doesn’t remove his fingers until your body stops shaking. Miss the way he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before kissing you. Not that you would mind. His lips wander down your neck to your chest, kissing all the way. He loves your breasts, loves the soft skin there. Loves to nip and watch the way you react. Most of all, he loves to leave marks there. Even if you won’t let him mark you where other people can see (at least, not often), you’ll always let him mark up your chest. He roughly sucks a mark into your sensitive skin and you squirm. 

Any other time, you would let him enjoy it. Let him take his time. Not today. You need to feel him. Need to have that connection with him. He seems to realize it too.

“Roll over on your side,” he directs. 

You hasten to do exactly what he asks. He slides right in behind you and you bring your leg forward a little so that it’ll be easier on him. One of his arms slides under your neck. The other lines his cock up at your entrance. He presses lightly, at least at first, giving you time before he’s fully inside you. No matter how many times you and Vernon fuck, you’ll never be fully prepared for the way he feels. It’s the most perfect type of full. Just enough of a stretch without it being overwhelming. 

It’s only a second before he starts moving, with his hand on your stomach. Not too fast. Just enough to give you the relief that you need. Not enough that it’s going to push you over the edge again. You’re still sensitive, though. The connectedness of your bodies is exactly what you need. It’s intimate in all the ways that you couldn’t tell him that you needed. But, he knows. Of course, he knows. This man knows you better than anyone else, a fact clear in how he thrusts into you.

Vernon’s free hand moves from your stomach up to your breast. He rolls your nipple between his fingers and you groan out. That’s the other best part about your relationship with Vernon. There isn’t a need for constant communication during sex. He knows what you like and you know what he likes. He knows how to interrupt your moans and your pleas. Knows when to pick up the pace. 

It’s entirely too soon when you feel your second orgasm coming on. “I’m close, oh my god.” 

“I know, baby, just come for me,” Vernon urges as he continues to thrust hard into you.

Despite that, you try to hold out because you know that he’s not there yet, can feel it in the way he fucks into you. It’s a losing battle, though, and you end up coming even harder than the first time. Vernon fucks through your high before slowing down to give you a minute to breath. Always so considerate of what you need.

“It’s okay, keep going,” you urge.

He doesn’t have to ask if you’re sure, he can feel it in the way you clench around him. Makes him groan as he moves again. You’re still a little out of it from the two orgasms, so it doesn’t register just how sensitive you are. You tilt your head so that you can kiss him. Catch all his groans with your lips. Partly since you know how much the intimacy of it all means to him. Know that it’ll send him over the edge. 

A minute later it does just that. Even though you feel spent, he manages to pull a third orgasm out of you with his own. There’s a moment when you’re both catching your breath that neither of you move or even say anything. It gives you a moment to remember just how much you love him. Vernon slides out of you carefully and you roll over so that you can face him.

“I love you,” he says with a soft smile, fingers gently moving a few strands of hair away from your face.

“I love you, too,” you say. 

“Do we have to get up right now?” he asks.

You shake your head and let him pull you into his body. His arms feel strong and safe around you. Like home, which is what he’s always been for you. From entirely too early into the relationship. A feeling that’s only grown in the time you’ve been together.

“I’m sorry,” you say again. 

“You don’t need to be, “ Vernon assures you. “I’m forgetful sometimes and you’ve been busy lately. I figured this was a good way to say thank you for everything you do.”

“What? The sex?” you joke. 

He huffs into your hair. “I take it all back.”

You pull back to look at him. “It was perfect. Almost as perfect as you.” 

A light blush creeps up. “I don’t know about that.” 

“I do,” you whisper into his skin when you cuddle back against his chest.

“We still have to cook dinner,” he says.

“Let’s just order something. I don’t want to move from this spot right now,” you say.

“We can stay as long as you want,” he says.

Forever, you think. That’s how long you want to stay with him. It’s never felt more real than it does right now. You think, by the way he holds you, that maybe he wants to be with you forever too. It may have gotten out to a rocky start, but it ends up being the most perfect Valentine’s Day of your life. 

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Merry Go Round Of Life (Howl's Moving Castle)

"so emotional"

Poll Runner: Ghibli fans rise up!

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

[aanoia]

It's Okay

For my lovely mutual, @loving-and-dreaming. I do hope the universe will become gentle with your heart. My best wishes.

Sirius Black x reader Words; 1600 (roughly) Warnings; nothing too explicit, just some tough things I kinda based this off of how I've been feeling lately, so yeah it's a personal one. I strongly encourage everyone to listen to Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan (I like the one with Lizzy McAlpine in it). It's very much the same vibe as this fic, and it's a great song overall. I love all of you, and I hope you are all doing well. "Don't let this darkness fool you. All lights turned off, can be turned on." - Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan

Normally, there's a smile gracing her beautiful face. The burdens that weigh down on her shoulders tend to be invisible, hidden by the bounce in her step and the sparkle in her eyes. Hiding behind that mask of happiness has been all she's ever known, and it's become a part of her. She's happy, and bright, and bubbly, and kind, and perfect. 

But when the curtains close, and the lights are off, and she's alone in her room, it's different. Her face falls, her shoulders slump, and deep sighs leave her lips. She lays motionless on her bed, staring at the ceiling of dead hopes and dreams. She'll stay up for hours, finally allowing herself to not pretend. Sometimes she cries, sometimes she's numb. It's a routine she's never broken.

Even when she's not alone, and has a boy curled up into her side, sleeping soundly. Her hand rests on his long, black hair as she stares. She'd never let him know about this - the smile only disappears once he's asleep. He's already dealing with so much, she could never add onto that.

However, there's comes a point where everyone must break. They must collapse under the weight of the world. And no matter how hard she tries, there's nothing she can do. She’ll run out of smiles, drag her feet, and stare at the ground with sunken eyes. The girl behind the mask, must be allowed to breathe. 

Sirius gently jabs the girl's side, a teasing grin on his lips. “What’s up with you, love? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

She doesn't react to him, too busy looking into her book. She's not even reading, only blankly staring at the words. Her a dull aching behind her eyes, and her throat seemed to be closing, making it difficult to breathe.

Sirius frowns, glancing over at James and Remus worriedly. James shrugs a little, unsure of what to do as Remus nervously bites his cheek. Obviously, something is wrong with his best friend, but he doesn't know what to do. This is so out of character for her… she's never not been happy.

James clears his throat, reaching over to flatten the book against the table, “we not good enough for you, anymore?” He questions lightly, the soft look on his face being a telltale sign of his joking demeanor. 

She clenches her jaw, pulling her book against her chest as she stands from her seat. “Would you lot stop bothering me?’ She snaps. “Can't you understand I'm trying to read?” She doesn't leave them time to answer, instead turning and walking off. 

The farther she gets, the faster she walks. Until she's in a jog, fighting back the tears blurring her vision. She eventually make it to an empty corridor, and leans against the wall, shutting her eyes tightly. A few tears leak out, and she has to shove her arm against her mouth to muffle her sobs. 

Guilt slowly creeps into her. She didn't mean to snap. She didn't mean to take out her internalized anger onto the people she loves most. She's burning the bridges she desperately wanted to stay strong. 

Lily leans over, peering over her shoulder, “psstt- Y/n- are you sure we chop the fluxweed stem into small bits and not big ones?” She asks quietly, her eyes training on the Professor so as to not get caught.

“Why would it be big chunks?” She says rather harshly, glaring at the ginger girl. 

Lily stares at her for a moment, dumbfounded. Worry fills her eyes, “hey… are you okay?”

“Why wouldn't I be?” She asks, quieter this time, her voice retreating.

“I don't know… you're acting differently. Do you want to talk?” Lily asks softly, not caring about the fluxweed stems anymore.

“I'm fine, Lily. There's nothing to talk about.” She goes back to her potion, making it obvious she's not interested in talking anymore.

Lily makes eye contact with Sirius from across the classroom, and she silently asks what's wrong with the girl beside her. Sirius, a defeated look on his features, shrugs. He truly doesn't know what's wrong with his girl. She won't talk to him and it hurts him. 

Once the class is free to go, she makes quick work of packing her things. Lily leaves with James, exchanging a few words with Sirius. The boy nods softly, promising Lily he'll find out what's wrong and take care of his girl. 

He makes it to her side and gently takes her bag, slinging it over his shoulder. He offers his hand to the girl, a soft, comforting smile gracing his lips.

“Let's go on a walk, yeah?” He asks quietly, his tone making it less of a question and more of a statement.

She sighs softly and nods, taking his hand. “Okay.” She says, and it comes out in a whisper.

He squeezes her hand softly and leads her out of classroom. The air outside is crisp and chilly, and the tips of leaves were turning red. The beginnings of autumn were coming to life, and it was one of the most beautiful times to live at Hogwarts and walk about the grounds.

She tries to focus on the crunch of leaves beneath her feet as they walk quietly. Sirius stays silent, glancing at her every once in a while. His heart ached for her, he just wanted to know what was wrong and how he can help.

After a while, he finally decides to speak up. “My love?”

She hums quietly, her eyes trained on the grass.

He gently rubs circles into her hand with the pad of his thumb. “A few of us have noticed you acting differently. We were wondering… I was wondering, what's wrong?”

She sucks in a breath, her face twisting in subtle displeasure, a telltale sign of a lie. “What? I'm just fine.” 

Sirius sighs, halting his steps and turning to the girl. He takes ahold of her free hand, squeezing them both. “Love, I know you're not… I know you. Something is up. You can tell me anything, you know?”

She bites her cheek, and ignores the faint metallic taste. “I swear, I'm alright. I've just been tired lately, can't sleep.”

“I've said that one before.” He says quietly, momentarily dropping one of her hands to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “and d’you know what you did?”

She can't meet his eyes as she shrugs carelessly. “don't know.” she mumbles.

“You slept with me every night and made sure I was asleep, ‘til I finally fessed up that I wasn't really okay.” He frowns softly. “Baby, you don't have to be okay all the time. Not with anyone, but ‘specially not with me.”

Her lip wobbles slightly, but she refuses to break. “I'm okay, Siri. I swear.” but her voice gives it away. The small crack in the middle of the sentence telling Sirius all he needs to know. 

 He pulls her into a tight hug, his arms wrapped securely around her shoulders. She subconsciously buries her face into his shoulder, and the facade breaks. The fabric of clothes are quickly stained with tears, and his body muffles her soft sobs. 

He sways slightly, rubbing her back as he quietly whispers to her. “Shhh, I'm here, love. It's okay if you aren't okay.”

“I'm sorry,” she manages to choke out between sobs, clinging tightly onto him. 

“Don't ever apologize for that.” He tells her sternly, but softly. “Never.”

She nod wordlessly, finally allowing herself to just cry. She never realize how comforting it is to cry in the arms of the man you love. How sweet it is to be held and given permission to not be perfect and to feel bad things. 

Slowly, her cries die down, and she just stands there in his embrace, sniffling softly. Sirius slowly pulls away enough to look at her. He gently wipes any stray tears from her cheeks, and then holds her face between his large hands. 

“Baby, it really is okay to not always be perfect and happy. You can be sad. You can cry. You can be angry, and you can explode. Just don't bottle it up, love. We all feel that shit. We all do.” He says gently, looking deeply into her eyes. “Prongs, and Lils, and Moony, and Wormtail- Everyone. Especially me.”

She nods a little, her eyes glassing over again. “Jus’ don't wanna annoy you… you've got so much going on already- don't wanna add onto it.” She mumbles, embarrassed.

Sirius frowns, “You're not a burden, Y/n. You're feelings are not a burden. I love you, with everything I have. When you're happy, when you're sad, when you're mad. I love you, however you come.”

She nods, a few more tears falling. “I love you too. A freaking ton.”

He smiles softly, diligently wiping her tears. “I love you a freaking ton.” He kisses her forehead softly. “Do you wanna talk about what's been bothering you, baby?”

She shakes her head a little bit, sniffling. “Can we talk about it… later? Tonight?”

He nods, “Of course. Anytime, love. Just don't hide from me anymore, yeah? I wanna be here for you, just like you are for me.”

She nods, swallowing thickly. “Thank you, Siri. I'm sorry for snapping at you lately… I don't mean it.”

“I know, I know.” He says, softly kissing her lips. “I love you.”

She smiles faintly at his kiss, “I love you more.” She whispers.

“Impossible.” He whispers back.

my masterlist

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[starryknight-tarot]

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮

pile 1 -- > pile 2 pile 3 -- > pile 4

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello beautiful souls! ✨ Today we will be looking into what your first date with your future spouse will be like. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Pile 1

Cards: Page of Cups, Six of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles rx, King of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, Strength, Death rx, Knight of Cups Back of the deck: The Lovers

I got A LOT of pentacles for this pile so your fs could be loaded or you or your fs could be an Earth sign so Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn. If not, you could have a lot of dominant Earth signs in your chart. I am specifically seeing Venus in Virgo. Your fs is gonna want to spoil you during the date. They could take you somewhere really fancy. I am getting very strongly that they wanna impress you. They may insist on paying for everything so you can enjoy yourself. I am getting that they are going to take you to a crowded place. I am seeing an amusement park or arcade. I don't feel like this will be a random place for them, they may go there often. Your person will plan the whole thing and really try to make it perfect and romantic. They wanna win games and get you a big prize. I see them winning a big teddy bear and you hugging it while blushing. They will lead the way and show you a bunch of really cute things that probably teach you a lot about them. For some of you, you will go to a festival and there will be a lot of colorful bright lights and yummy food stands that you guys will enjoy with them. I am getting this person could live or have lived close to you. All smiles and laughs with this pile. Your fs really wants to impress you, they may have had a crush on you before you even knew and really want to make sure everything is perfect. I am getting such a cute vibe for this date it's all so positive for this pile. They may tell you before the date that they want you to relax as much possible with them and to be yourself. This may be because some of you are kind of introverts and maybe this kind of stuff isn't your scene, but they want to show you how fun these kinds of things can be. I feel like if you get overwhelmed at all they will be SUPER supportive and do anything to make sure you feel better. I am getting for some of you, you will know that they are the one from this date or you will know you wanna marry them. I feel like you guys may even end the date with a kiss or a big hug that just feels so right.

Advice Cards:

Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you Give up resistance in your current situation Remember that in universal law, all is well and fair A powerful dream will guide you Your spirit wings are unfolding, It is time to take flight! Reflect on one of your blessings

Channeled Songs:

Pile 2

Cards: Judgement, The Star, Two of Cups, Three of Swords, Three of Pentacles rx, The Lovers rx, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands rx, Two of Swords rx Back of the deck: King of Wands

I am getting that you guys won't even realize that this was your first date until like years later. A very unintentional date. I am seeing some of you drinking a little too much or something, you could be at a bar or just out with friends. If you don't drink, you would just be retreating to your comfort place, some of you that may be a cafe. I am getting that around this time, you are gonna be down in the dumps, I am hearing for some of you specifically love is making you feel sad. Some of you may feel like you have no chance in love or some of you may have just been dumped. I am getting that you will be crying, a rare moment of vulnerability and your fs would approach you. I feel like some of you are gonna feel scared by their presence at first but you will very quickly see they are just trying to see what's wrong and help you out. Your fs is gonna have a strong urge to take care of you and make sure you are ok and safe. They really want to cheer you up, I am hearing they don't like to see you cry. I am suddenly seeing someone with a motorcycle so you or them could have one but I feel like it's more likely them. I feel like your fs will take you from lying around crying and take you somewhere fun (please don't let strangers take you to random places yall unless you completely trust them). I am hearing, I am spending this magical night with you. I feel like you will spend all night with your fs just watching stars and talking about your lives. Things will just feel right, like everything is how it's supposed to be. I am feeling this date will be mostly conversation, just expressing yourself and pouring your feelings out to them and return the conversation almost perfectly. I am hearing some of you will feel like complete opposites but still match each other's energy. I am getting that they just want to listen to you or that they could listen to you talk all day. They will really raise your mood and you will just feel so comfortable with them. They will make sure you get home safely and you guys won't be able to stop think about each other.

Advice Cards:

No better time to exists than right now Make a commitment and follow through It is important to understand and value your own energy Complete the project or task. Something is calling for closure Pay attention to the issue that time plays in your life right now Keep the faith. Stay intentioned. Your perseverance will pay off You are intuitively gifted. Trust your guidance

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3 Cards: Ten of Swords rx, Temperance, Ace of Wands rx, The Magician, The World, The Wheel of Fortune, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords Back of the deck: Ace of Cups

I keep hearing that this person is your classmates or you could have known them for a long time. Childhood friend vibes. I am getting that you guys could have had a crush on each other for a while now and like everyone knows but you have just never talked about it. I feel like this date will come about very suddenly like one day yall are just chilling and one of you guys is just like, "dude let's go on a date" or maybe not that direct like "let's just go somewhere." and it becomes a date. I feel like you are gonna be the one to ask. VERY random message but I feel like some of you may be Hispanic or Latino. Obviously not for everyone lol. The moment will just feel right and you guys will go hang out and you will just go everywhere. You guys will go get snacks and drinks like lemonade or popsicles. I am getting summer vibes from this date, you could go to the beach. I feel like you guys will just connect like you never have before, it will feel different then other times you have been with each other. I really feel like your conversations with each other will flow more naturally and you guys will be more flirty with each other. I feel like you will be doing a lot of walking, not knowing where you are going or what you are doing but you know you have each other and that feels really comfortable. I am seeing you might be messing around at a playground. During the day you guys will be very active, I see people playing volleyball on the beach and swimming in the water, splashing each other. You guys may also like to tease and playfully bicker with each other. But during the night time it starts to get a more intimate kind of comfortable where you just lay down holding hands on the sand as it surrounds both of you, feeling comfortable in each other's presence and just talking about everything under the sun. I feel like you will have really deep conversations and talk about your future together. I feel like you guys might become an official couple on the first date and also kiss for the first time. I feel like this kiss will just feel so right. Like fireworks are going off for both of you. I am hearing you both have a very destined relationship, your fs could be your soulmate Pile 3.

Advice Cards:

Your heart is a center of intuitive intelligence. Listen to it! You can manifest your heart's desire Make a commitment and follow through Be bold. It's time to leap forward! You are divinely protected. Remind yourself how safe you are Expect good things to come to you

Channeled Songs:

Pile 4 Cards: Page of Cups rx, Eight of Swords, Death, Three of Swords rx, Knight of Wands, Ten of Swords, Six of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Page of Wands Back of the deck: Three of Wands

I feel like a lot of you have experienced heartbreak, you may have been in an on and off relationship with someone. I am hearing they could have been a karmic. It was unhealthy for you but I am getting you will cut them off for good. Once you are no longer trapped by this manipulative person is when your fs will make a move. I feel like you may need time to yourself after this relationship (I am hearing spirit really encourages some time to yourself, some of you need to learn to love yourself before putting yourself out there again). But I feel like your fs is someone you already knew, I am hearing specifically a coworker. I am getting your fs has had a crush on you for a while now, but was too afraid to make a move. Your fs is really shy but they want to be the one to ask you out. This may be around winter time for you Pile 4. I am getting that you may have barely noticed your fs before they asked you out. When you do go out, they will take you out for dinner somewhere nice. I feel like they will be so nervous and afraid to make a bad impression. I am getting when the date starts they may compliment you a lot and it is all super fluffy and cute cause they are just in awe in your presence. The date may start a little awkward and silly but I do feel like you guys will warm up and have really comfortable conversation. I think you guys will realize you have a lot in common and they will make you laugh a lot. I am hearing you may get stares because you guys are laughing so hard. Your fs will feel very different then anyone you have ever been with. I feel like you both will get really flustered and I am hearing it will just feel blissful. I don't feel like you will immediately realize you are falling in love with them but I do think you will think about your fs a lot after this and you will start spending a lot more time together after this date. You can see the start of something beautiful.

Advice Cards:

You are birthing a new self You are healing at a cellular level Reflect on the state and use of your personal energy You are ready to receive your fortune. Be miracle minded! Practice the pause Make a commitment and follow through

Channeled Songs:

(I really felt called to add a third channeled song for this pile so congrats lol)

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

[chynandri]

I’ve got so much on my mind! Eva/Neil stuff To the moon beach episode spoilers

While I’ve always liked the Eva/Neil ship I have seen it as more one sided, or maybe just UNdecided. Neil I think it got increasingly obvious that he liked her, but it was hard to tell with Eva. I think in this game she definitely showed Interest in him. peeking at his shirtlessness and whatever’s in his pants at the pool lmao. plus wanting to believe the real Neil would want to protect her and do nice gestures. I think my most satisfying personal interpretation is that she’s just isn’t all that sure how she feels about him besides that obviously, this was her best childhood friend. After all I think it’s hard to have feelings for someone who was so distant and secretive at the same time. But there’s definitely still Something there that just… never got the chance to become something more.

I think a feeling of ‘incompleteness’ is prominent after finishing this game. Somehow having some of the truth confirmed/spelled out to you just leaves me with more questions. And perhaps that’s the whole point… the incompleteness of their feelings for each other, the incompleteness of the beach trip, the incompleteness of the simulated beach trip, the incompleteness of Neil himself as a person. I feel like the life lesson here was that you got to be ok with not having all the closure but realize that things have an end in spite of it. And you’ve got to move on once you’re ready to. The game giving you one final chance to linger on a perfect moment of Neil and Eva at their most vulnerable, letting You choose when the story ends was really profound. It’s like Kan Gao was saying to you ‘yeah, you’ve known all along Neil was dying/is dead. And that this series wasn’t going to last forever. You can keep returning to it again and again, but that fact remains and eventually you will stop playing the games and move on.’

I’m not sure if I’m articulating the metaness of this ending well enough, but Eva and the player feel in parallel here. Eva’s relationship with Neil, and the players relationship to this series.

Just wow. What an incredible ending. It almost felt too quick that the biggest theory of Neil being dead all along was confirmed but, it’s not too quick at all considering this story’s been going on for 13 years I guess. Still leaves me in shock even though that’s honestly what the games have been Strongly hinting at.

Will try to remember To the Moon for as long as I can. What an impactful game series…

[twig-tea]

On Ba Mhee and Tae as a couple (as of ep10)

I did not like Ba Mhee and Tae's relationship; it was clear they both cared deeply about each other but didn't know how to show it in a way the other could see and appreciate. Tae had explicitly asked for space and patience during this period of their relationship (three months is not that long!) and Ba Mhee was unable to give it. She was disruptive at work to the point of Tae breaking the external drive and getting in trouble (which was of course worse because he didn't just tell his boss about it). She put in a lot of effort, but it wasn't always asked for or wanted, and Tae was appreciative but not demonstrative in ways Ba Mhee noticed, and she channeled her worries about their relationship into being clingier, until she flipped and instead started channeling it into her interest in Judy. That being said, Tae was always invested in this relationship. He talked about their future together as a couple. He worked so hard to make sure they could have a good anniversary dinner, and he didn't tell Ba Mhee because he didn't think he had to--he hadn't noticed her anxiety and distrust about his own feelings.

When they broke up, Ba Mhee had cheated, but it was Tae who did most of the apologizing. I didn't like that Ba Mhee hadn't seemed to done much self-reflection or owning up of her part in their breakup other than the cheating itself, which she blamed on how Tae had made her feel. She had made assumptions about his attention to her, and ignored the evidence to the contrary (e.g. Tae staying up to go on calls with her or working while sharing a ride to to the office was seen as him not being around enough rather than him taking moments he didn't have to spare to be as with her as he could during a time he'd warned her he'd be busy), and then channeled that loneliness into another person rather than having a conversation. It felt like there was more for her to do, but I didn't understand how we were going to get it if the show was moving on.

But it wasn't moving on! And this is why I'm thrilled with today's episode. Ba Mhee got a taste of what dating her was like; someone who does things for you "for your own good" because you "need" them to without asking. Judy was worse at it than Ba Mhee was, because she was replacing things Ba Mhee liked with things she doesn't--and that has me wondering whether Judy did any of that intentionally, because it's literally Judy's job to notice what people like and don't like and to cater to their needs, so it's strange she would have gotten this so wrong for someone she likes so much. Either she intentionally mirrored Ba Mhee so that Ba Mhee would self-reflect, or Judy sees herself in Ba Mhee so strongly she could not really see Ba Mhee at all, or Judy's the only character in this show without thought-through motivations [I doubt it's the latter and I am really hoping we get insight into her character soon]. And Ba Mhee realized that what she wanted wasn't someone who was a better fit for her than Tae, she wanted Tae. And that's valid; Ba Mhee's speech about nobody being perfect for another person is so correct, and relationships are all about working through those rough edges together. But the feelings don't disappear just because you find an incompatibility.

Tae in the meantime has already demonstrated that he was trying to be on his own without Ba Mhee. He had an alarm on his phone to drink water because he wasn't answering her texts so she wasn't reminding him before they'd even officially broken up. He is struggling because he's heartbroken, not because he can't be independent. He follows Pah around because the editing department has a lull, and he needs to keep occupied. He misses his girlfriend of just shy of four years. And when his friends suggest he fight for her, he makes an attempt at asking her out again.

The reconciliation scene this episode had them both agree to try. They were both better about articulating their needs and feelings in ways the other could hear. That being said, Ba Mhee did say she wanted things to go back to the way things were, and Tae's situation has not changed re: how much time he has to commit to this relationship right now (though the internship is about to end so this caveat is short-lived). I'm not mad about that though, because the show has seeded future growth/reflection in Ba Mhee already--she's interested in her job in a way she has never been previously, and her realization re: how Judy's treatment of her didn't feel good even when it was well-intentioned will (I hope) give a different perspective on her own behaviour and have her change it on this second go-round, in addition to better communication which she's already doing now. And Tae is now more aware of Ba Mhee's feelings and what those gestures for him mean to her, so he can be more careful about being dismissive when she tries to be open about her feelings.

I'm still pretty agnostic about whether or not Tae and Ba Mhee should end up together. But I am really loving the growth arc these two have been on as part of this couple, both while together and apart, and I have confidence in the show that their growth is not over.

[0rb0t]

no but i fucking LOVE the concept of "evil morty" being considered "evil" because he's tired of Rick and wants to do anything he can to get away from him. This is like a PERFECT metaphor for victims of abuse.

You do not owe your abusers kindness. In fact, if you're trying to get away from someone who is TORMENTING you, actively hurting you, etc., I personally believe you are within your rights to do whatever you can to get away from them. Of course, I'd personally say that you shouldn't endanger surrounding family, friends etc, but that's just it... Evil Morty is symbolic of someone who has been stuck in this cycle of abuse for so long he doesn't fucking CARE if there's collateral damage, and why should he?

When no matter who you go to, and try to explain your case to, and they take the side of your abuser. When no matter where you go, your abuser is praised or adored, and it feels like only you are aware of how this CAN'T continue-- and anyone who IS sympathetic is telling you things like "Oh you have to be the bigger person, you can't stoop to their level, just think positive" or whatever.

Evil Morty says it himself "I'm only evil because I'm sick of him. If you've ever been sick of him, then you're evil, too." And I resonated so strongly with that line.

So what does he do? He gets the fuck out. He does the work, he gets to a point where he feels like he has the same pull, the same influence, and then he burns it all down just so he can get the fuck away. It's not meant to be emulated, but I really feel like you're supposed to, in some ways, root for him. Because it resonates with some part of you, more so if you've been where he's been, metaphorically.

And when we next see him, he's not trying to "win" or amass power, he really, TRULY, just wants to be left alone, but he's willing to defend himself if necessary. And I think that's beautiful.

There's so much I could say, I just adore that character so SO much. I don't mind calling him Evil Morty, it feels empowering honestly. I've been considered Evil, but those standards. I'd rather be Evil than Good.

[myfairkatiecat]

NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT i HATE KEEFE SO SO MUCH AND IM WONDERING (GENUINELY) WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE APPEAL

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR BUGS YOU SORRY IF IT DOES EITHER/BOTH

Hey anon! Those are some strong feelings you've got there!

This is a tricky question to answer since a lot of the things that make me like Keefe's character make some people dislike his character, so you might be about to get a list of all the things you despise about him by asking me what I like about him. I like him because I think he's a good character, and way better written than people give him (or Shannon) credit for. I don't always love Wattpad Fanon Keefe (perfect boyfriend, super sweet, always says the right thing) because it erases so much of his character. I like canon Keefe. He's a raw character with a lot going on and a whole slew of well-developed character traits.

Before I jump into this post, however, I want to say one thing: I think a lot of people who dislike Keefe are mostly frustrated with Shannon's portrayal of his character flaws, and I don't think they give Shannon enough credit for the way she's intentionally written Sophie as an unreliable narrator. It's rather clear during different parts of the series that Sophie isn't the most reliable narrator, and Shannon also explicitly writes in the margins of her annotated KOTLC book that she used a certain scene as an example of when Keefe takes his jokes too far. Sophie forgives him without even an outright apology in that scene, but Shannon makes it clear in her annotations that she, the author, isn't writing it off. I don't own the annotated so I can't remember the exact quote, but it's my biggest case for why I think Shannon has intentionally written Keefe with these character flaws, as character flaws, and yes, Shannon sees them as character flaws and has said so, so for the purposes of this ask response here, let's assume Shannon Messenger is aware she's writing a flawed character, because I do think it's rather unfair to her how often the people of the fandom accuse her of brushing by Keefe's actions when in reality she's just writing Sophie Foster as true to her character as she can.

With that, let's jump into this little essay about Why Keefe Is An Awesome Character And I Love Him that I've writtten for you!

My AP English teacher always used to say, "characters are more human than humans." I believe the purpose of this quote was that well-written characters exemplify what makes us human—our love, our experiences, our regret, our strengths and flaws—in ways that connect strongly to the audience. Part of the reason so many people like Keefe's character, I believe, is because they are able to connect strongly to him. This is because he is written as "more human than humans," as my AP English teacher would say—even though technically, he's not a human, but an elf.

One major strong point of Keefe Sencen's character is that his strengths and weaknesses are often wrapped up in the same character traits. This is something that is true for many people. For example, my politeness in real life social situations makes me a lot of friends, but too often can turn to people-pleasing. A good character, in my opinion, should have both strengths and flaws stemming from all of their major character traits. Here are a few of Keefe's:

His humor

One major aspect of Keefe's character is his humor. Whether you personally find it funny or not (I think I found it a little funnier when I was eleven... I'm sorta growing out of some of it, though his wittier comments in the latest books are more my style, which might be a sign of both me and the character maturing) it's an enormous part of his character. As a major character trait, it presents both strengths and flaws.

Often, he brings levity to heavy situations that the other characters appreciate. One instance I remember is in Flashback. They were preparing for a confrontation, and I don't remember what it was that Keefe said, but Sophie narrates that she appreciated the moment of comedic relief, because it eased some of her anxiety. Keefe is able to take intense moments and settle them with quick-witted (or hilariously not funny) comments. This is likely a skill he adopted in order to handle the crushing pressure of being in his own home as a kid. (Fitz, contrastingly, adapted the skill of just holding lots and lots of weight, bending and bending and bending until he finally breaks. Not to make my Keefe essay about Fitz, of course, but I know someone is going to point out that Fitz also dealt with a lot of pressure at home, and wanted to point out that he developed somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, they're just different from Keefe's.)

However, sometimes his jokes are unwanted or go too far. Shannon comments on this specifically at the end of the first book, where Keefe makes a joke about how he helped save her when she almost died, and then sorta trailed of when he realized he was talking about her almost-death. Shannon commented in the margins that this was a moment of Keefe experiencing awareness that his joking has gone a little too far. She hasn't released annotated editions of any later books, but I'm confident that at least a few other scenes are examples of this as well. Sometimes I run across them during a read through and I'm like "huh, it's interesting to have a good idea as to what Shannon was thinking writing this." Sometimes, his constant making light of serious situations really isn't funny to anyone, and it keeps him from accepting the gravity of what they're doing, likely contributing to his reckless behavior.

2. His intuitive communication

Something to notice about Keefe is that even though he's often socially unaware, either in ways that indicate his childhood trauma or just his emotionally immaturity as a teenager, he's very good at knowing exactly what to say for his intended goal. That intended goal isn't always necessarily something he should want, mind you—we just talked about how his need to lighten the mood sometimes causes problems, and he knows enough about some of his friends (cough Fitz cough) to know exactly what words will hurt them the most in an argument as well.

This can be a strength for him, especially when he's comforting Sophie. Since he can feel her emotions instinctively, he often knows exactly what she needs to hear. He's actually incredibly sweet at times, especially in Legacy (I mean... there are other issues there, which I'll get into another time). For example, when he's telling her the reasons Bronte isn't the worst possible father for her to have. There's nothing inherently great about the specific way he comforted her, but it did ease some of Sophie's queasiness, because he knew what she needed to hear. Also, there are the scenes in Legacy where he's telling her that Sophie Foster is all she needs to be, or the scene in Everblaze where he reminds her that no matter who her parents are, she's still going to be exactly the same person she is, and they can't change her. Keefe is really good at knowing the right thing to say. (This might have stemmed from walking on eggshells his entire life aroud his parents!)

However, this also makes it really easy for Keefe to be manipulative, or lie, or say the completely wrong thing on purpose. The best example of the first two was when he somehow convinced everyone in just a few sentences that he totally wasn't going to go to Loamnore with them. Somehow, the guy famous for not doing what he's told convinced everyone he was going to do what he was told, and the thing is, it wasn't even unrealistic. He gave really good reasons that it made sense for him to stay back, and even made jokes about it, about how he and the others not going were "too cool for Loamnore." He had everyone convinced he really wasn't going to be reckless this time, when he totally knew his plan the whole time. The famous Unlocked healing center scene is a great example of the last one, because Keefe got upset with Fitz and knew exactly what to say to make him the most upset and embarassed in that situation. He only even took back the words when Sophie became upset as well. He and Fitz are in... not an awesome place in the latest books, and his POV reflects that.

3. His courage

Let's be honest. Is Keefe a runner? Yes. But when he runs, is he running from a fight? Nope. Never. One of the major instances of this guy running away actually put himself in a ton of danger. He doesn't run for cover, or safety. He runs usually out of fear of himself, his relationships, or that he isn't able to help in any other way. If we really look at his character, Keefe is incredibly brave. All of the KOTLC main cast is. They've got guts. But a lot of the others have a more guarded sort of courage, while Keefe's is... well. Not guarded.

Keefe doesn't think things through, and sometimes, there isn't time for that. Sometimes, immediate action is necessary, and Keefe is great with that. Quick, in-the-moment plans are his specialty. He's not afraid to stand up to people who want to hurt him (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*).

But he's also extremely reckless (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*). Because his courage is less guarded than his friends (such as Sophie's or Biana's) he may be more inclined to carry out his plans quickly, but he's also more likely to not think things through fully and end up putting his own life at risk, and sometimes even his friends' lives, even when he's trying to help.

4. His caution and fight or flight instinct

To everyone who ever said Keefe's character is flat and his strengths and flaws never develop or change, what version of KOTLC are you even reading?! Like I mentioned above, Keefe's recklessness is a huge part of his character since book one, but now I'm here about to talk about his caution/obsessive worrying/the famous running away, specifically the second time. This is a relatively new character trait for him. It develops slightly after Lodestar/the first half of Nightfall. Keefe truly did learn a lot from leaving for the Neverseen and lying to Sophie before going to Ravagog. We're given an extremely limited window into this process, since Sophie had other things going on and Keefe's short story focused a lot on his crush on her, but Keefe noticeably steps back and stops trying to turn things into a "Keefe show" (as Sophie puts it in Nightfall) and attempts to work more as a team, which is definitely character development again. However, where he really learned his lesson was Loamnore. He showed up, again going behind Sophie's back and coming up with a plan of his own, and it ended with Sophie tied up on the ground and him being forced to undergo a transformation that gave him powers he's terrified of. While his recklessness didn't entirely vanish after this (his response in the end was to run away to the literal Forbidden Cities) but is definitely flavored with siginificantly more caution and an attempt to be genuinely responsible.

In Unlocked, Keefe noticeably asks for people to be kept away from him, including Sophie, so that he can keep from accidentally controlling anybody. He also stops using his voice entirely. These are actually incredibly selfless things for him to do. He loves to be with his friends (particularly Sophie for reasons) and he loves to talk! And neither of those things are bad! But he isn't willing to put them in danger. In fact, he actually sort of overdoes it in Unlocked, even asking for Dex to make him an ability restrictor. (While he's well-intentioned here, I think Keefe brushes past the idea that making one of those again might be something of a traumatic experience for Dex.) In the end, he's so worried about it that he runs away, but he does it with considerably more of a plan than he did when he joined the Neverseen. He knew he'd know the languages, he arranged a way to get his hands on human currency, and while Unraveled isn't out yet, the state in which they found Keefe along with some of the things Keefe described about his experience make it clear that Keefe purposefully learned a lot about human cultures and successfully blended in and made his life work.

His newfound carefulness paired with his classic instinct to run really encapsulate a lot of his character strengths and flaws. In the later books, it's actually a sign that he's developing as a character and moving away from some of his past character flaws, but like all well-written major character traits, it comes with its own drawbacks.

Another important aspect of Keefe's character is the way he is noticeably shaped by his own experiences. I mentioned the whole "being more human than human" thing earlier, and while yes, he's still not human, I think this is part of what makes so many people connect to his character. He's realistic. He has even more strengths and flaws than the ones I've mentioned above, and all of them obviously come from somewhere specific in his past.

Why is he so chronically unserious? Because he couldn't be serious enough for his family. Before he met Fitz and started spending time with the Vackers, he didn't even really have friends. He had a suffocated home and impossible expectations, and when he tried to live up to them, he just wasn't good enough. So he adapted to break the tension. He adapted to just... not try ("those who don't try never look foolish" -Fiyero in "Dancing Through Life," from Wicked. I think Fiyero is... very Keefe coded) and started skipping classes, breaking the rules, playing pranks and doing anything to cut through the tension. He dealt with pressure by tossing it off his shoulders and just deciding to not deal with it. Obviously, deciding to Just Not Deal With Things eventually began to hurt him, and he slowly and painfully begins to learn to have difficult conversations (but hey, at least he's getting there? I think Neverseen is where his development in that particular area becomes apparent, with the way he opens up more and even admits where he's really beginning to feel guilty).

Why is he such a master of knowing what to say? Because he grew up walking on eggshells around his parents. And when he decided to stop caring about his parents, he weaseled his way out of trouble whenever possible, and learned to use other people's emotions to learn things from them and get his way. "But Katie," you say, "reading other people's emotions without permission and using them to get his way is a very not good thing to do!" You're very correct! And it's an enormous indication of how skewed his view of normal is. What's the one Empath he grew up observing? His father. Look, he knows his parents suck, but because his parents suck, he has no way of knowing what is and isn't normal. Is his father doing this particular thing because he's a horrible person or because that's a normal thing to do? How on Earth is Keefe supposed to know?! Well, there are rules about telepathy, and there aren't any rules about empathy, so the external indications seem to tell him that this particular thing is normal. This is yet another example of Keefe's life experiences having a huge impact on his character.

Why is he so reckless? Because he doesn't care. Even his his most noble moments of bravery stem from the same place of not caring what happens to his life. It's the same reason his deep care for his friends' lives turns to quickly into self-sacrificial tendencies (which show themselves in canon on numerous occasions and usually don't even help). He has this "better me than any of them" mindset that's deeply rooted in his childhood trauma. Even though he's fought tooth and nail against everything his parents have ever said about him, he still has this ingrained sense of worthlessness. The way he says he "doesn't care about permanent damage" and tells Sophie that he's going to make sure he's always the one who ends up wrapped up in bandages and also has that moment in Unlocked where he wants to retreat into the darkness and never wake up? Look, we all know he needs therapy, but maybe reread that last sentence. ...Keep reading it until you get it.

And finally, what makes him finally learn to be cautious? Because he sees firsthand how his reckless plans are impacting the lives of other people around him, and if there's any negative trait that Keefe is NOT, it's selfish. Keefe may be occasionally selfish—you know, case by case basis, like most people—but it isn't a character trait of his by any means. He struggles significantly more with not caring about himself than he struggles with not caring about others. So when he realizes it isn't only his own life he's putting on the line, and sees the way it's hurting his friends, he takes an enormous step back, and even runs away for a time. Now, it would be great if he would start caring about himself too, because this poor guy needs therapy and his level of self-deprecation at this point is way out of control. But it is the case that he cares about his friends a lot (if someone quotes this part and brings up Fitz, I'm going to point out that their friendship has fallen way out due to actions and reactions on both sides of that relationship) and ultimately it ends up adjusting the balance in his character traits and their related strengths and flaws.

In short, Keefe is a lot of things. He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things. He reads like a real person—someone who frequently makes the same style of mistakes but does learn and grow over the course of his life. Every character trait of him stems from some aspect of his past. Shannon didn't write him with a slew of random personality traits—each and every one of them ties down to who he is and how he's shaped by his experiences. He can be a truly amazing friend. He can be a really horrible friend. He can be sweet and amazing and say the perfect thing. He can say the wrong-est possible thing with the intention of cutting the other person deep. He's a slow learner, but he learns nonetheless. His character development isn't a smooth arc in which he has trait A, event B happens and at the end he has trait C. That's common in storytelling, but not real life. Keefe learns, grows, then makes the same mistake again, then learns stronger. His character development sees both growth and setbacks, and the changes are subtle. He's still the same person even when he changes.

He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things, and I think it is out of an awareness of our own humanity that so many people relate to him and therefore enjoy his character.

I hope you enjoyed this essay, anon. Believe it or not, I actually have plenty more to say about any of these topics, and some other topics that I didn't even bring up, so if you want to see even more, just direct me towards what you want to hear and I assure you I'll have thoughts. Have a wonderful day!

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Awright I'm gonna get my take in on the current round of CJ discourse, because I do think I have a couple things to add! I'll be super clear upfront that I don't really care very strongly about Jack in any direction, he's a convenient character from Ed's past but that's about as far as I think about him.

So, Jack is the only character who we explicitly know has known Ed since he was very young, and the only one confirmed to be with him back in the Hornigold days. It's for this reason alone that I tend to take the information he tells us about Ed at face value - not because I think he's an honest character, but because he's the only window we're provided into that time of Ed's life. We can assume Jack also got into piracy young and he's been through the exact same grinder as Ed; this is one of the reasons that Ed takes it so hard when Stede kicks Jack off the ship. He feels like Jack and himself are the same genre of person - if Stede doesn't like Jack, then he'll realize soon he doesn't like Ed, either.

If he and Ed have had a sexual relationship in the past, I think that's so much more interesting than assuming Jack is lying. Ed and Jack very explicitly are not friends. Jack talks about his "dalliances" with Ed so dismissively. I think it's much more interesting to look at this with the takeaway that Ed's past sexual relationships have been emotionally unfulfilling and do not allow him to be vulnerable because that informs our understanding of Ed later (for example, that can be a fun wrinkle into how Ed brings up the satisfying, intimate sex he had with Stede during his panic in s2e7).

Another function Jack serves is he pushes the atmosphere on the Revenge closer to what it would be on a typical pirate ship. He's constantly making cracks at the crew failing to act like "real pirates," making Stede feel left out for not enjoying such rowdy, dangerous games. This is very useful because it cultivates an atmosphere designed to drive a wedge between Ed and Stede. For Ed, these games are nostalgic. When Jack makes him uncomfortable, it's quickly followed by Jack suggesting another game. When Ed tries to apologize for one of their activities hurting Stede's feelings, or when he tries to encourage Stede to join in, Jack is there to distract Ed and make him feel, in turn, that Stede isn't just rejecting the games, he's rejecting Ed.

It highlights one thing we know about Ed: he's very, very good at conforming to what's expected of him in any given situation. He can be a people pleaser, and he very obviously just wants Stede and Jack to get along and feels stuck in the middle. I'm not saying he doesn't hurt Stede in this episode, but I am saying that when Jack is creating an atmosphere that feels like a more "typical" pirate ship, and Ed leans into the behavior that he feels is expected of him, it leaves him easily confused and upset when Stede obviously isn't enjoying it. We see unusual lack of regard for others from Ed in this episode (like him shouting "that's what you fuckin' get!" at the Swede after the Swede gets hurt), and it stands out because it's not how Ed normally acts, only adding to the guilt Ed's going to feel that makes him leave with Jack.

Neither Ed nor Stede are trying to hurt each other in this episode. Ed is falling back on old behaviors, and when Stede says he doesn't like it, the fact that he still sees Jack as being so similar to him makes him take it as a personal rejection. I don't think Ed's intentionally trying to make Stede feel singled out or bullied, and it's not Stede's fault he's not enjoying what's going on, but Jack is a very, VERY good manipulator and he's set up the perfect situation to make both of them feel wrongfooted with each other. He's not just manipulating the two of them, he's orchestrating the entire vibe of the ship to make Stede feel left out and make Ed blame himself when things go too far.