#I feel so sorry for my boo but he does need the tough love

[mclqren]

THE LECLERC CHRONICLES ★ F1 GRID

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!younger sister!reader ; f1 grid x fem!leclerc!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you're the younger sister of charles leclerc, and your relationship with the rest of the f1 grid has the internet going crazy [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is 22 years old, and the youngest leclerc sibling. this one is a bit shorter than my other smaus, sorry for that! the fc i've used is lexi jayde, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

SERIES ✦ the leclerc chronicles masterlist ; next part

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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 776,319 others

yourusername it's tough work being the hottest leclerc 🤷‍♀��

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user1 UGH SHE'S SO PERFECT

user2 my fav leclerc sibling!!

charles_leclerc the caption 🤔🤔

yourusername am i lying though?? 😘

arthur_leclerc i think you are!

yourusername i think it's just you (& charles) who think that!

landonorris so what's the crown for then?

yourusername because im a queen. i need no other reason 😊👑

landonorris self proclaimed queen or-?

yourusername im queen of the grid, now bow down, bitch!

alex_albon you don't even drive-???

yourusername stop it rn or i'll tell charles to ram into both of you on the track 😊❤️❤️

georgerussell who are the flowers from 🤨🤨

yourusername my man, who else?

georgerussell okay be honest now y/n...who are they from.

yourusername and if i told you ur girlfriend then what 🤷‍♀️

carmenmmundt only woman i need 😘😘

georgerussell WOAHHH SLOW YOUR ROLL GUYS

carlossainz55 loving the sunglasses, y/n! 😎😎

yourusername awww you type like such a dad but ur forgiven bc ur my fav ferrari driver 💗

charles_leclerc helloo i'm your older brother??

yourusername hey, i'm still allowed to have my favorites!

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 801,211 others

yourusername bahrain weekend woohooo!! TEAM LECLERC (third slide is for motivation ❤️)

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user3 THE THIRD SLIDE IM WHEEZING

user4 SHE'S SO FUCKING FUNNY

charles_leclerc the last slide??? im telling maman ☹️

maxverstappen1 maybe you can beat me with that motivation!

yourusername he speaks the truth charlie soz 🤷‍♀️ AND PLS DONT TELL MAMAN IM SORRY

francisca.cgomes ur sooo 😍😍

yourusername leave pierre for me rn. im richer i swear

pierregasly huh?

yourusername see, not a thought behind those eyes! run away w me bbg 😘

francisca.cgomes okay you've convinced me, give me ten minutes x

yourusername HAAA GOT UR GIRL GASLY

landonorris the coat in bahrain weather??

oscarpiastri how is she surviving??

yourusername a girl does what a girl has to do 🤷‍♀️ maybe you should both take fashion tips from me anyway xx

charles_leclerc you aren't being rude are you y/n?!

yourusername noooo!! im offering friendly advice 😊

lance_stroll i wonder who bought you the first shirt...🤨

yourusername my rich nepo baby friend, thanks again boo 😘

lance_stroll wowww you're literally a nepo baby sister idk what ur on about

yourusername im actually famous for my incredible looks & witty humor, not my fugly brothers

charles_leclerc why are you so rude to us ☹️

yourusername it comes from a place of love 💗

logansargeant i wonder whose sunglasses you're wearing?!

yourusername idk i just found them!!

yourusername

( caption one: the third wheel lifestyle is NOTTT for the weak 😔 + tags | caption two: yeah i took this photo asw. can they stop being so fucking happy please it's making me depressed 😔 )

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 781,221 others

tagged francisca.cgomes

yourusername who needs a man when you have kika 😘 ( ps no clue who the other people in the last pic were, but whatevs )

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user5 the y/n lifestyle is something i needddd

user6 SO REAL FOR THIS

user7 outfitsss!! 😍

francisca.cgomes love you 😘

yourusername LOVE YOU MORE 💗💗

landonorris what on earth were you drinking

yourusername idk but it was fizzy and orangey and it was yum

alex_albon orangey isn't a word ❌

yourusername ACTUALLY ☝️ it is. sooo idk what ur on about mate

pierregasly are you even of age to be drinking

yourusername IM THE SAME AGE AS UR GF??? ur just jelly she prefers me to you

pierregasly ☹️☹️

logansargeant the winnie the pooh shirt 🔥

yourusername do americans even know winnie the pooh...

logansargeant clearly??

charles_leclerc how much did you have to drink

yourusername none of ur concern brother!

liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 1,002,665 others

tagged yourusername

landonorris y/n's signature pose: hands under the chin (she forced me to post this please come save me guys)

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user8 SHE'S SOOO ICONIC

user9 CAPTION LOOLLL LOVE Y/N

yourusername live laugh love me!!

alex_albon is it now...

yourusername SHUT UP ALBONNN IT IS

yourusername guys the caption is a liee i swear he just loves me 💗

landonorris urm who told you that mate

yourusername shut up or i'll send you back to the basement 😁 no one cares enough to save you

georgerussell63 carmen's looking over my shoulder and says y/n's a cutie

yourusername TELL CARMEN I LOVE HER AND TELL HER TO COME OVER TONIGHT 😘😘

pierregasly are you just after everyone's girlfriend then?

yourusername yup! single life = hoe life, @/alex_albon lily's next 😘

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and 800,219 others

yourusername hey alexa, play art deco by lana del rey ( 📸 @/arthur_leclerc )

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user10 SHE LISTENS TO LANA?

user11 SHE'S ONE OF US FR

user12 the dress wooowwww

charles_leclerc when did you take these 🤨

yourusername don't worry about it 💗

arthur_leclerc we had tons of fun without you ❤️❤️

yourusername ARTHUR DON'T BE MEAN (it's true)

charles_leclerc ☹️☹️☹️

lilymhe 😍😍

yourusername LOVE YOU LILS 💗

yourusername but also ops on leaving alex for me...just for research purposes

alex_albon Y/N STOP IT SHE'S MY GF

yourusername leave me alone im single and sad :(

lance_stroll did i not buy you that dress for christmas

yourusername yes you did!! thanks again lance it was a LOVELY investment 😘

yourusername

( caption one: guess where i am!! 🇦🇺 | caption two: yeah yeah the flag gave it away whatever look at my new best friends 🦒 )

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 833,331 others

yourusername aussie aussie aussie... (australians finish the chant)

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user13 she's so perfect

user14 wait is she charles' sister??

user15 yup!! she's the youngest of the leclerc siblings

oscarpiastri coming from an australian...no 🧡

yourusername lucky for me ur not the only australian i know...so!

danielricciardo OI OI OI 🇦🇺🇦🇺

yourusername @/oscarpiastri LOOLLLL POINT MADE

oscarpiastri DANIEL WE'RE MEANT TO BE AUSSIE BUDDIES WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME

danielricciardo THE CHANT WAS CALLING TO ME I CANT HELP IT

charles_leclerc FORZA FERRARI

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️❤️

yourusername idk red's not really my color...might have to step into the mclaren paddock next time to see if orange suits me better

charles_leclerc as my sister you can't fraternise with the enemy

yourusername yeah but y/n leclerc does whatever she pleases and right now she wants to wear an orange jacket 🤷‍♀️

landonorris *papaya, not orange

yourusername yeah yeah pls give me a vip paddock pass for japan thank you lan 😘🫶

georgerussell63 the first picture??

yourusername i dropped my ice cream and my WONDERFUL brother decided to capture the moment instead of comforting me ☹️

charles_leclerc it was so funny you just had to be there

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 872,339 others

tagged charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

yourusername FERRARI 1-2 I KNOW THAT'S RIGHTTT!! PROUD OF MY BROTHER(S) (and little lando norris congrats on 3rd 😘)

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user16 THE CAPTIONNN BROTHERS IM CRYING

user17 the way she said in a podcast once that carlos being in her life was like having ANOTHER older brother makes me cry its so sweet

user18 FERRARI IS MY RED FLAG YESSS 🚩🚩

charles_leclerc rare post of you being proud of me?

yourusername it's mainly for carlos...but i'm proud of you too i guess!

charles_leclerc but i'm your brother??

yourusername idk ur both my brothers in my eyes 💗💗

carlossainz55 te amo y/n! ❤️

logansargeant embracing your inner cowboy, i see! very american of you 🤠

yourusername RAHHH WHAT IS A KILOMETRE 🦅🦅🦅

lance_stroll nurse, she got out again

yourusername SHUT UP LANCELOT ur just jealous that i prefer america to canada!! ❤️

landonorris thanks for the caption y/n, but are you not looking for a way out of the ferrari paddock...🤨🤨

yourusername unfortunately mr norris i have to be a supportive big sister on days like today, where my dear brother has done an exceptional job at racing. i hope you understand, and i offer you my deepest condolences ❤️

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might make a p2 to this idk :)

[stall1iion]

champions love - five

Liked by f1wags, y/nupdates, maxverstappen1, y/nofficial, redbullracing and many others

f1 and there is our ice queen, arriving in fashion to her first race of the season in Spielberg! 🇦🇹 A new fashion queen on the grid perhaps? 👀

#F1 #Formula1 #AustrianGP

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username1 oh she looks beautiful

⤷username4 right? Like can Max fight??

username69 so we're gonna ignore that f1 admin is a figure skating fan??

⤷f1 of course I am 😼

username15 f1 fashion game is SO BACK

⤷username27 lewis and her are about to show up slaying 🫡👏🏾

⤷username9 no literally, Fashion Queen and King of the Grid

username90 I met her! She’s genuinely so nice!

username62 lewis has some competition fr

username12 she flew to austria for a MAN?? 🤨

⤷username44 to be fairrrrrr that man is MAX VERSTAPPEN and her boyfriend so….

username8 of course she’d be more focused on an outfit then supporting max

⤷username7 relax?? She’s literally wearing a flowy shirt and some jeans, just because she got dressed doesn’t mean she’s not there to support

username37 ice queen? Ice flop maybe

⤷username35 oh yes, a two time olympic champion, truly embarrassing of her 🙄

username3 great another american ruining the sport

⤷username77 surprised she isn’t fat like all the others or is her shirt hiding that?

⤷username98 I was trying to ignore your blatant xenophobia and sexism but like I genuinely can’t, one: her and logan aren’t ruining the sport at all and two not all americans are fat, you see fast food and automatically assume and it’s crazy when one good click on the comment above and you’d see she’s an olympic figure skater and better than you’d ever hope to be

⤷username35 let them hate, they find every little thing to hate on because they can’t be them. See how many hoops they have to jump through to say anything offensive

liked by bsf1, bsf2, maxverstappen1 and many others

y/n.jpg time to see my first ever vroom vroom race in person but at least I have my newest pookie with me 💗

tagged: lilymhe

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bsf1 pookie we miss you 😢

⤷y/n.jpg i miss you too 😢it’s time for me to watch men go vroom vroom in fast cars

bsf2 why didn’t you take us??? 😭😭

⤷y/n.jpg because you had work pookie?? 😞

⤷bsf2 oh…yeah….like i wouldn’t quit to go to a race 😞😢

⤷y/n.jpg yeah no…keep that bag, I promise i’ll take yall when you guys are free ♥️

alexalbon omg is that where my girlfriend went???

⤷y/n.jpg sorry she’s my girlfriend now 🫶

⤷lilymhe I know where home is 🫶

⤷alexalbon UMM???

maxverstappen1 was the meme necessary?

⤷y/n.jpg yes it was, my vibe was incomplete without it

⤷y/n.jpg expect more btw 😋

⤷maxverstappen1 oh god 😐

⤷y/n.jpg good luck on your race ☺️

liked by landonorris, bsf1, bsf2, and many others

y/n.jpg …so that was a tough loss um…how do you feel after that?

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landonorris how the fuck you think I feel?

⤷y/n.jpg I have a gift for you

⤷landonorris stop I’m supposed to be mad rn

⤷y/n.jpg what he say fuck me for? 😟😔

username2 😭wtf? why is she so unserious

bsf1 how was the race in person?

⤷y/n.jpg loud as fuck 😭

⤷y/n.jpg it was like going to a hotter, louder monster truck show

charles_leclerc the meme?

⤷y/n.jpg your very memeable charlie, it’s a talent really and one that will be showcased on my page way more often

⤷username99 CHARLIE??

lilymhe we still on for drinks?

⤷y/n.jpg of course

⤷username5 max didn’t win and literally caused Lando to crash, what does you need to get drinks for?

⤷y/n.jpg see I don’t know if you know but it’s called, I’m my own grown ass person who can get drinks whenever I want

username4 not her making fun of Lando after her boyfriend ruined his race

⤷username7 *liked by author*

what are you talking about? Lando quite literally responded and he’s obviously not mad at her nor is she making fun of him

username9 both were scrapping and made mistakes. We’ll get em next week!

username23 just wait till next weekend, those guys are going to boo every chance they get, don’t be discouraged!

⤷username44 oh you must’ve missed it but they already started making comments towards her, apparently a fan of hers asked for a autograph and some butthurt fans called her all kinds of names

⤷username23 oh wow, yeah I would’ve never guessed from this post

⤷username1 y/n is not new to getting hate, after her first championship some commentators were calling her a possible “one hit wonder” and fans were saying her coach was better off coaching others

Y/N L/N Talks All Things Sport-Like, Relationships And Careers

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 163,713 likes

View transcript

“Our next guest is an expert on skating and ice, her olympic career on the rise, please welcome Y/N L/N!”

[Inserts Y/N with cheers] “Welcome to the show! Uh you look fantastic, thank you so much for being here”

“Thank you for inviting me, Jimmy! And for the food!”

“No problem! Figured it was the least I could do after the flight here, um…so y/n your career has always been eventful but it's currently exploding right now and everyone’s talking about Y/N L/N and so I wanted to show you this photo and tell me if you remember how growing up in figure skating was” [shows a picture of younger y/n in her first competition]

“Oh….this was when I was 12, I had just started competing after begging my mother to sign me up for a skating academy for like a whole year [laughter]”

“Did you win this competition?”

“No [laughs] I got like fourth place and was convinced I wasn’t made out to be a skater and went home that night and cried the most i’ve ever cried I think”

“Wow, here’s you like what..six competitions later and look you’ve got a gold medal” {shows a different picture of her on the podium with a bright smile] [insert cheers and laughter] “I’m so happy for you, what did it feel like?”

“Um, well it felt like I was right all along, that my mom and coach were right and it just gave me a huge boost in confidence after that”

“And- I mean- look at you now two time olympic champion back to back, that is amazing- absolutely amazing. Uh- a little birdie told me that when you first signed with Team USA- um you were in a Chick-Fil-A drive thru when you got the call”

[laughter] “Um..yeah! I was actually at work- um, i worked in a chick-fil-a like ten minutes down the street from my house and I got the call from the recruiter and I was like “oh god, I can’t be on my phone at work but I have to take this…screw it” and i picked up the phone and if you ever watched the draft for the nba then it’s kind of like that, I remember I squealed and dropped to the floor as I accepted and I just could not shut up about it for the rest of the day”

[laughter] “yeah well that must’ve been an amazing feeling! To know your accomplishments have been recognized and that you were about to go to the big leagues”

“Oh yeah, I was riding on that high for like a week, it felt like- yeah- i did it. I mean, I felt like I kind of made it already when I won the rest of my competitions growing up but that call was the little cherry on top, you know? I was 18 years old at the time of the phone call, just out of high school but then it was like a massive dump where I was unsure of myself and if I really was that good. Hate really got to my heart during that time, I had already reviewed a large amount of misogyny that I had almost given up too many times to count”

“I had to push myself and remember why I was there, first and foremost my passion for the ice, and I wasn’t going to toss away my dream due to bigoted men around me. They wanted to see me fail and I wasn’t going to let them succeed”

“Beautifully said. I know recently a few fans have reacted poorly after the results of the most recent grand prix in Austria..how do you feel about that?”

“Well um, I get that they're mad, you know? No one wants to see a driver forced out of a race following a collision but again, I had nothing to do with that, you know? [laughter] Um..just because I’m dating Max does not give them that excuse but again, there will always be haters and so I do what I do best and ignore them the best I can; I know not everyone can respond maturely and things can be said in the heat of the moment so I try not to hold it against them”

“Right, well what are your plans for the future? Is another championship in the cards? Another career even? Maybe a more serious relationship outcome with Max?”

[laughter] “Um well figure skating is definitely the dream, you know, a lot of people will say I’m too old to be on the rink but frankly, there is no maximum age to figure skating, i’ll retire of course when I’m ready but um, that’s no time soon [laughter] um growing up I was really into psychology. Obviously as an athlete I know the importance of mental health and how it can truly affect your performance and career but I was obsessed growing up, probably from all the late night reruns of crime shows like law and order and 48 hours {laughter}’

“and um I don’t know about the last one, we haven’t really talked about anything like that, I think we both enjoy our lives together but i wouldn’t be opposed to any sort of change”

“Great! Well um, Max if your watching, there’s your sign right there [laughter] um…I googled you today to see what pops up and um..”

“Did you not know who I was beforehand?”

“No [laughter] no- i can do..I know all your poses and I can do it”

“Oh can you?”

“I can do it, no- no I just wanted to see what pops up and it says did you mean: ice queen or ice princess and I think that’s kind of fun, tell us about that”

“Um, I definitely didn’t do that- I guess someone at google loves me or something [laughter] but the nicknames ice queen or princess is from the 2018 Olympics when I won my first championship and that day I was wearing a white and silver costume that I was absolutely shivering in [laughter] but um- yeah, the judges and everyone liked it so much and I think the name came from one the judge's comments on my performance actually and everyone just ran with it and i liked it so much that I kept it [laughter]”

“Can I just tell everyone some of the stats you have right now, because wow. You are currently the highest paid figure skater at a net worth of 90 Million dollars. You are a 5 time US champion from 2011 to 2016 and 6 time World Champion from 2017 and 2023, you have countless endorsements with brands such as Disney, McDonald’s, Starbucks, Visa, Campbell’s Chevrolet, Coca-Cola, Kraft, and United Airlines. You’ve been given the James E. Sullivan Award for ‘Best Amateur Athlete, U.S. Olympic Committee ‘Sportswoman of the Year’, Readers’ Choice ‘Figure Skater of the Year’, Teen Choice Award and ‘Cosmogirl of the Year’” [takes in a deep breath] “phew…that was a lot to read [laughter] but yeah, that is all you’ve done since you were 12, that’s amazing!”

“It sounds so much grander and shocking when you read it all out like that! [laughter]”

“Yes well it was lovely speaking to you and wearing out my vocal cards reading all that [laughter] this is Y/N L/N, everybody! [cheers and applause] Thank you for coming! Stay tuned for our next guest after the break!”

→ Face claims: (completely forgot to do these but we have: Lori Harvey and Zendaya) 

→ y/n and lily left the grid while waiting for the race to start to get food (she wanted authentic local food)

→ in the interview y/n did shade both lando fans and lando himself 

Author's note!

Hey guys! I worked hard with this one lol! Could not figure out how I wanted to do the interview and just decided to type it as if it was like a little youtube clip of the show so the brackets are like youtube captions. I wanted to wait until after Austria since I finally got the story aligned with recent events (obviously a fictional version of them). Plz don’t send any hate for the shade I threw in here, I love Lando and in fact do have his merch but his response to today’s race was slightly immature and dare I say whiney, plus i did steal some actual comments from instagram posts under red bull so :/ also had to include the weird thing europeans do where they hate on americans for seemingly no reason? Like I've gone to Europe and the hate I get is actually mind boggling. ANYWAYS! Hope you enjoy this chapter, maybe put in some request for what you’d like to see in the next because i have NO IDEA. 

Taglist: @boiohboii @ale-522 @ietss @theseerbetweenus @jaxx-7 @sainzluvrr @the-untamed-soul @ashy-kit @hc-dutch @nichmeddar @delululeclerc @sweate-r-weathe-r @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @luvsforme @samantha-chicago @theblueblub

༉‧₊˚  CHAMPIONS LOVE ༉‧₊˚

⤷ Following the messy breakup between Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet, Max’s manager comes up with a solution to divert the attention – a fake relationship. His new girlfriend? Two time olympic gold medalist figure skater, y/n for the USA team. Easy? Well…

[quinnysnursery]

hihi, so happy to see you back!! missed you lots, congrats on graduating!!

i saw you had requests back open again, and i was wondering if you could do preferences for the caregivers with a very sensitive little who practically cries at everything, is painfully shy, and needs comfort and reassurance 24/7 :(

-🦕

[🪄] the cg's with a sensitive little! | preferences

including : matt, chris, nick, nate, tara, johnnie, jake, carrington, sam and colby

divider credit : @v6que

a/n : i KNOW i had one other preferences post and i literally searched my entire account and can't find it, so ig it's lost media now 😭

Matt :

🩹 provides the BEST comfort

🦈 "i know hun, that thunder was pretty scary, wasn't it?" "yeah :(" "that's alright, dada's here now."

🫧 knows all your triggers/unsafe foods 'n textures

🩹 and does BACKBENDS to avoid them

🦈 "don' want sandwich :(" "oh no! dada's having a sandwich, little one is having mac and cheese. sound good?" "c: yeah!"

🫧 painfully shy? no worries, so is matt. he understands 🫶

Chris :

🥤chris....is loud

💫 "bein' too loud" "wha? oh, sorry hun!"

🤍 however, he does make the best boxed mac 'n cheese

🥤shy little? no worries! chris talks enough for the both of you

💫 constantly wiping your tears with his hoodie sleeve

🤍 "will a lollipop make things better?" ":( yeah"

Nick :

🌟 will ALWAYS be down to sit at home on bad sensory days

🗞️ always coming up with creative ways to bring his little out of their shell

🎥 "if only someone here loved bluey...." ":O i love bluey!"

🌟 best reassurance ever, "y'know i don't mind taking care of you, right?"

🗞️ can always IMMEDIATELY recognize when you're about to cry

🎥 "shhh, dada's here. let it out, i know baby..."

Nate :

🏒 unlike nick, he can NOT tell when you're about to cry and is always caught off guard

🌨 "oh! oh honey...shh, don't cry"

⛸ always tries making you laugh as his first response

🏒 lets you wear his hoodies on extremely tough days

🌨 "is that helping?" "mhm :c smells like dada :c"

⛸ he's got the spirit

Tara :

❤️ tara, bless her heart, did not realize how sensitive you were at first

🎞️ "baby, i was only gone five minutes!" ":c i'm sorry!" "oh no honey...don't be sorry, mama's sorry, mama should've let you know i was leaving"

🎵 cuddles !! with !! sugar !!

❤️ painfully shy? that's not a problem at all! just like chris, tara talks enough for the both of you!

🎞️  always holding onto her babies hand or hugging them :(

🎵 "mama's got you sweet girl/boy/little one"

Johnnie :

🦇 johnnie is a bit nervous when he realizes just how sensitive you are

🌒 because he's petrified of being the reason you cry

🐈‍⬛ "do you need a hug?" "mhm :(" "okay princess/prince, c'mere"

🦇 plays guitar/sings songs for you when your having a really bad day/night

🌒 "hollyw'od!" "we've already done that one five times, sweetheart." ":c" "okay okay, hollywood it is."

🐈‍⬛ ends up learning your triggers and does his best to avoid them

Jake :

♣️ oh jake, sweet jake...

🍒 he never INTENDS to make you cry

♠️ but with his loud personality and constant bouncing around? yeah...it ususally ends with

♣️ ":( 'oo loud" "dada's sorry baby...i didn't realize i was being so loud"

🍒 loves cracking jokes to make you smile

♠️ "there's the pretty smile!"

Carrington :

🧸 the best at making you laugh while your sad/crying

🍬 also loves just cradling you in his arms while you sit on his lap

🎧 "dada's got you"

🧸 human teddy bear so, snuggles are a must

🍬 learns your nonverbal cues when you don't feel like talking

🎧 "do we want....mac and cheese?" ":c" 'okay...what about...grilled cheese?" "c:" "grilled cheese it is!"

Sam :

🎥 the most reassuring man ever

👻 "sorry i got scared :(" "oh sweetheart, you don't have to apologize. everyone gets scared sometimes!"

💛 constantly lending his little an article of clothing for comfort

🎥 the BEST at tending to boo-boos

👻 speaking for you when your feeling shy

💛 "they're feeling a little shy right now, what's up?"

Colby :

👻 this man...THIIIISS MAN

⛓ the most protective cg imo

🦴 "what's scaring you hun? do we need to go home? does dada need to fight a ghost?"

👻 lets you play with his rings/necklaces as a distraction

⛓ wrapping his arms around you and assuring you he's got you :(

🦴 "tell dada's whats going on?"

taglist !! :

@natedoeswife @blahbel668 @nicksloverrr @katw4shereee @pkfferoo @bambi-slxt @chr1sgirl4life @17twelch17 @pinksikhewei @yourenogoodforme @pkfferoo @babybatxxx @beesonhoneytoast @mattssturnz @mattsturniologf444 @graceslittlecorner @zivall @hrtz4alex2211 @bimbob1tch @cherry-red-heart @https--roman @frlinbruh @jazminepetit-homme

[somewhereincairparavel]

could u do something about thalia never showing up for jason? in the end of tlh he was hoping she’d show up for the counselors meeting and she didn’t so maybe a series of him making plans with her/trying to get in touch with her and just being disappointed every time… not thalia hate i love u thalia she just is too busy for him (while doing it during the months between tlh and son could be cool i think in between boo and toa would be more angsty bc u know he’s going through a breakup!!! he’s all alone in this random private school he isn’t familiar with the mortal world and he just wants his sister but she isn’t there!!!)

Two times Jason Grace wrote Thalia a letter, and the one time he didn't send it.

author's note: Ah this is so angsty and perfecttt :( The Grace siblings deserved more…they're my faves fr.. anyway, I hope I did justice to your request anon! Thank you for requesting, it made my day! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I just finished my exams and I'm back to having more time for writing :) you guys can send me more angsty jason prompts like this one if you want to, I'll write them with the best of my capabilities, I'm quite new to heavy angst like this so I was surprised when I was able to finish this within an hour. Jason Grace does this to me.

TW: severe angst. I mean it, very severe, character death, mentions of sacrifice, no happy ending. I went all out, I'm sorry. I was just way too into this.

Jason traced his finger over the glossy photo frame in his hands, which encrusted a picture of his older sister, Thalia. He had requested Leo to help him with the framing, the edges were made with a mahogany coating. He smiled at the lovely picture of his sister, her hair being held together by her silver huntress circlet, wearing her punk rock clothes. 

Over the course of the summer, He had finally gotten the chance to take a good picture of Thalia for a family keepsake, he had held on to the tattered, torn picture of Thalia that annabeth had given to him before his first quest, and he still treasured it greatly. But he insisted that Thalia and him take at least one good picture before she disappeared with her maidens into the world, for months. 

“And then Leo said-” Jason was cut off by thalia’s fellow maiden Phoebe, rushing towards them, yelling for thalia. 

“Lady Thalia, lady Artemis is heavily in need of your assistance immediately!” Phoebe said panting. Thalia frowned and her eyes apologetically turned back to Jason. “I'll be there” she told her fellow huntress, before giving Jason a strangling hug. “I'm so sorry Jason, we'll talk later yeah?” Jason swallowed his disappointment after he saw how truly apologetic Thalia looked. “Of course, stay safe for me?” Thalia smiled sweetly and nodded at that before trudging up the path.

That was the last time he had seen of Thalia in months, and there was only one way to settle this. Jason decided to send in letters to his sister, that way, she could read it and keep them with her, and he could tell her everything without getting interrupted by anyone. He soon learnt to cherish this hobby alot. He loved his sister, and writing to her gave him a warm sense of comfort. He needed that, especially after Leo's death.

“Dear Thalia,

How have you been sis? I hope your mission with Phoebe to help Artemis went well! It's been pretty tough lately. My nightmares are plagued with pictures of mom. I know you of all people would understand how horrific that feels. I miss Leo, and piper's been acting a little strange around me lately.. but Leo's disappearance is taking a toll on her. So I get it. Nico is finally staying in camp half blood, isn't that great?? That boy deserved a break for once. Anyways, write back if you can, but if you can't, that's fine, I know you're busy.

–love, your annoying little brother.

Weeks, and months flew by, but still no response from Thalia. But he knew better than to take it seriously. Jason knew that she had gotten the letter, and that was enough for him. Well, that was enough, until things went downhill for him very quickly. Piper had approached him in the school corridor and thought it was a great day to end their year long relationship, shattering Jason's soul to pieces, this, coupled with the immense amount of pressure he had to build the minor god shrines, Jason felt numb, and he did what he usually did. He poured his heart out to Thalia in another letter, seeking comfort in his ink and paper. Longing for thalia’s presence once more.

“Dear Thalia,

it's me again, I hope you're doing good, atleast better than I am. I've been feeling terrible lately, Piper ended things with me, i guess we finally know why she was acting the way she did around me, huh? She said our relationship was only hera’s illusion and didn't feel that way about me anymore, which sucks, since I'm still very much in love with her. The pressure has increased tenfolds on me these days, the minor gods are heavily anticipating the promise I told them I'd keep. I'm planning on moving schools so i don't have to deal with the heartbreak of seeing Piper in school anymore. Anyways, I just wanted to write to you since it makes me feel better. Sending you lots of love from California.

— love, Your annoying little brother 

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. 

Jason knew. The moment the sibyl told him about looking for the third emperor. Jason knew, that his doomsday was going to knock on his doorstep very soon. He was going to sacrifice himself for Piper. And nobody was changing his mind. Jason stared out his dormitory window, the outside mortal world looked a little too cheery for the melancholic thoughts that were chasing his mind. He averted his gaze to the person in the picture frame hanging at his wall. Thalia had always been too busy for him. They had never had a proper full conversation together, one on one conversations getting disrupted, iris messages wearing out within a few minutes, even his letters never got a reply, or even a single acknowledgement. 

Yet jason knew, that Thalia Grace was the only one who loved him more than anything in the world. She didn't have to spend time with him for him to know that. He knew by the way she had only left their childhood home after Jason was deemed “dead”, he knew by the way she had picked a two year old jason up  after he injured his mouth with that stapler,he knew by the way she played hide and seek when they were little, he knew by the way she had told no one about him, not even annabeth, since he was a memory that she held close to her heart. So subconsciously, his hands wrapped around the pen he always used to write with. With shaky hands, and teary eyes slowly dripping in the paper, he began to write.

Thalia was resting on the rocks, thinking of how Jason was doing, she had recieved all his letters and read them through atleast 2 times. She wanted to respond, but it kept slipping her mind. Something had always come up, but now, she was finally free. Just as she was about to pick up her pen, she heard her name being called.

“Thalia!”

It was Reyna. She was holding an envelope, Thalia’s spirits skyrocketed at the thought of her brother sending her another letter. But.. why was it being sent through Reyna..? It was usually always sent by Jason's wind manipulation. Those letters would float towards her. That's how she always knew it was from her brother.

She was expecting Reyna to tease about Jason's cheesy letters to his sister, but what she wasn't expecting, was for Reyna to start sobbing on the spot, breaking out the news that her younger brother was dead. 

Jason. Her little stapler eating brother. Was dead.

“This was found by Meg in Jason's desk.” Reyna shakily handed Thalia the envelope. It was a blue envelope, the usual colour that Jason always sent to her. And on top of it, was his smudy handwriting that Thalia could recognise from a mile away. The letter was signed “To Thalia Grace”.

Thalia opened it carefully but tears were leaking out of her eyes.

“Dear Thalia,

there's something that I've been keeping for a while now, but I know it's finally the time to tell you this. I met the sibyl in the labryinth who had told me that my life would be cut short. if went looking for the third emperor, Caligula, either me or Piper would be killed. There's no point denying the inevitable is going to happen. Prophecy's can never be thwarted, after all. I've made my choice, I'm not letting Piper die. I've decided that I am going to use myself as a sacrifice. I'm writing you this, to let you know, that, I love you. I love you so much sis, I hope you know that. I know we've never got to see eachother much, but I don't want you blaming yourself in any way for this. I hope you know that, writing to you, even without a response from your side all these months, has helped my life feel a lot more meaningful. the mere thought of you taking the time to read my letters makes me feel so loved. So happy. Now that I know that I might be meeting my end, I'm letting you know, that I've cherished every single thing you've ever said to me. Including the fact that you hate tomatoes on your sandwiches. Take care of yourself, sis, I'm always with you.

  — love, for the last time, your annoying little brother :)

Thalia clutched the letter with her heart, screaming in agony. Thunder boomed angrily overhead, almost as if her father could feel her rage. Her heart strings were tearing apart. She sobbed, as she looked up at the blue sky, the same blue as Jason's darling eyes.

“I love you too. My annoying little brother, always”

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Hey hun!! I was wondering if we could get more split personality Ghost/Simon Riley's x reader because you absolutely slay at writing that and I think it's an interesting concept to explore. (Don't feel obligated to answer this request or rush to anything this is just a little idea) anyways love ya boo. I hope you have an amazing day sending lots of love your way 💗💗💗

Lєт мє ℓσνє уσυ αηуωαу

Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn! reader

summary: Simon never puts on his mask when he is at home with you. But as you enter your shared apartment, you’re greeted with Ghost instead of Simon.

warning: angst, fluff

-> I‘m sorry this took me so long :/ I‘m back now tho! Took a break for my mental health and I‘m better now :))🫶🏻🫶🏻 <-

I literally love you so much, you have no idea. I‘m gonna attack you with online hugs so beware and DONT REJECT MY HUGS (and kisses xoxo). 💗💖💕💞💞💘💖

I also think the Simon/Ghost concept is interesting. Like Simon could be the CUTEST boyfriend and person in general but as soon as he puts on his mask he is COLD. Like you have never met such a cold person. He probably never wears his mask at home and when he does, he probably feels overwhelmed and feels like he needs protection from Ghost instead of his significant other. Poor baby :( Wish I could hug him ���️☹️

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

"Siiiii, I‘m home!" you say loudly as you let your bag fall from your shoulder. Finally, another day done. Today was a pretty tough day at work. The clients were all rude and you were constantly stressed. And now, all you need is your Simon to hug you tightly and do nothing.

But instead of Simon greeting you, you were greeted by Ghost. And this can only mean one thing: Simon needs protection from Ghost again. The sight of seeing him with the mask in your shared home broke your heart. It makes you wonder why he needs the protection of Ghost. He has you. In those cases, you’re the one protecting him. It’s you he always goes to when he isn’t feeling well. Not Ghost.

"What happened?" you asked calmly as you make your way towards him. He doesn’t reply which breaks your heart any further. "Love, please talk to me…"

"There is nothing to talk. Go to sleep." he coldly replies, causing you to take a few steps back. But he and you both now you don’t give up that easily.

"Sim-" you get interrupted by Simon, but this time his voice is so harsh and suddenly everything crashes inside you. "Ghost! Ghost is standing in front of you! Not Simon" he snaps.

You don’t know why but you can feel tears building in the corner of your eyes. You’re not emotional usually. But everything build up inside you. Firstly, today you got yelled by your boss because he thought it was you doing something wrong even though it wasn’t you. Then it was just you doing your job and everyones else’s. Then it was the customers being absolute jerk towards to you. And you aren’t doing well either. But still you’re standing and there for everyone else. And you’re also just a human.

You decided to just leave him alone and go take a shower and then cry silently, so he doesn’t hear you and see how much it affected you.

"You know Ghost. If you just open your eyes, you‘d see how beautiful life can be sometimes. And maybe you‘d see how much you’re hurting me." you say and leave him standing alone in the living room.

~

As you sit in the shower you let yourself have 5 minutes to cry.

Life has been very tough lately and you can’t find a way to escape this hellhole. There are so many things you want to see and so many things you want to explore. But sometimes you feel like just giving up. But you know giving up isn’t an option because you know you can’t leave Simon alone. This man would feel guilty and fall into endless pain. But not only him, also you want to reach your goal. You have so many goals for your life and you can’t just give up on them.

As you let the final tears fall down your wet face, you take a deep breath before you step out of the shower and get ready for bed.

Maybe you shouldn’t talk to Simon Ghost today. You know how it will end. It will always end up with him taking a walk outside and you crying in your bed.

As you slide into your sheets and try to not think about anything right now, you hear the door opening and closing immediately after. Not so long after you feel Simon‘s bedside sink and you don’t know if you should turn to look at him.

"I‘m sorry baby" this time Simon says. When ghost talks to you, he always calls you by your name, not your pet name. Not even your nickname.

You don’t respond and just lay there. Soon enough you can feel Simons arms around your body and his touch is sending chills down your spine. His touch is so calming and so magical, you sometimes don’t know how he can do that.

"I scared Ghost off" yup it’s definitely your Simon talking to you right now. "I wanna lay here with my girl and talk about her day" he adds.

And after saying that, you just couldn’t resist. You turned to face him and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Your broken heart starts to heal because whenever your in his arms, you feel like Simon scares off your problems. His arms make you feels safe and protected. He makes you forget about your problems.

His one hand rests at the back of your head and he leaves kisses on your forehead. "You’re home now. Rest baby. We can talk tomorrow,hm?" he suggests with a sweet and caring voice and you just nod.

With that, you fall asleep in your Simons arms. Maybe Ghost let him get out and be with you. But you don’t care right now. You‘ll care tomorrow. Right now, there are no problems and there is just you and him. Nothing and no one else.

Just you and Simon.

[cloneloverrrrr]

Requesting Hound and fem reader.

Prompt: Soft, lazy kisses and innocent touches that turn bolder and more sinful as you just can't resist each other.

Dialogue: "That's it, fuck that's a good girl.

GAR wants better relations between civilians and clone soldiers. They invite the citizens to sign up to be paired with a trooper to train alongside with whatever it is that the trooper does. Much to Hounds annoyance he gets stuck with a female that doesn’t know the first thing about massiffs but really wants to learn.After being a complete jerk to her for several days (this really hurts her feelings) he finds out she lives in a not so safe neighborhood. He says he and Grizzer are walking her home and doesn't take no for an answer. After doing this for a couple weeks things finally get smutty. I love all the little details you add smutty and non-smutty.

Sorry it’s so long. 🫤

Please and thank you. 💕

Ohhhh hi my sweetie, I’m so here for these Hound asks, he needs more attention & loving 🥹🥹🥹👀👀👀

Anyway I hope once again I captured him in the way you wanted & I hope you enjoy this fluffy smut with our sexy Arf Trooper🤩🫠

Keep smiling my lovely 🩷

Dividers by my best boo @idontgetanysleep 🥰

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀 𝗔 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗚𝗶𝗿𝗹 - 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 ⠀

⠀

𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀:🔞 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁

⠀

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗔𝗿𝗳 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱, 𝘅 𝗳!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿, 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1755

⠀

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗧 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗧 𝗦𝗠𝗨𝗧, 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘁, 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗯𝗻𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗱𝗿𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗠 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝗣 𝗶𝗻 𝗩 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝘂𝗻𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗲, 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱

The day finally came where you had been able to enter the hanger grounds of the GAR, you had been super enthusiastic about your pairing with Arf Trooper Hound and his massiff, so excited that you practically danced over to the start up area, your pretty sure you can see him now- the tall clone with eccentric crimson and white armour along side the slobbering spiked cutie panting away at his heels.

You were introduced to the clone - Sergeant Hound, nothing more than a nod of his head and a small grunt which had you taken aback.

“Hi so nice to meet you Sergeant Hound my name is Daisy” a smiling beaming so brightly it would of blinded him if not for his helmet.

A snappy hello and a tilt of his head sideways is all you got back out of him. Nevertheless you kept a pleasant demeanour and did what he said and tried your best to keep up with his fast pace and numerous facts of the massiff stood by his side.

“This is grizzer, it erm seems she’s taken a shine to you” his reply was dry, short.

Days past by and you continued to make an effort with the Arf Trooper, you where eager to learn more about Hound, his life, his back story, the war and of course Grizzer, there was even a couple of times you brought him his favourite takeaway caf and treats for Grizzer, sadly nothing was breaking this tough shell he was engulfed in.

Tears prickled at the corner of your dazzling chestnut eyes, the impudence on his part was beginning to wear you down, he was blunt, brash and his ungraciousness hurt.

“Time is up. See you tomorrow.” His voice cold, distant.

Your usual sweet voice was undetectable as you fought to stifle a sob. You gazed at him if only for a small moment one tear escapes and dampens your cheek and with that you make your way home. Head down , shoulders weighing heavy.

Hound cocks his head to the side watching you leave, his chest felt uneasy a pain he had never once felt as he watched you depart with an aura of sadness lingering. He followed you keeping a close eye on your every move. Rather shocked to find out you don’t live in a high rise apartment but a few levels further down in a place appearing relatively unsafe after dark. He keeps his distance but never once allows you to come to any harm.

The iridescent rainbow coloured neon lights , cast a gentle lustrous glow across your delicate features. You suck in a sigh before entering the door of your building, yet something you can’t quite put your finger on leaves a niggly feeling in your gut. A set of eyes bore into the back of your head, so you rush in and frantically tap away at the elevators buttons thanking the maker your only a few floors from the safety of your small apartment.

The next day of your pairing with the Coruscant Guard trooper was a pleasant one, he finally removed his helmet and maker was he gorgeous, striking amber eyes, thick dark lashes, a cheeky smile and his curly locks you just want to tangle your fingers in.

“I got this caf for you I hope you like” his voice was softer than you’ve ever heard and a little blush rises in his defined cheeks.

“Thank you Hound it’s my favourite” there goes the beaming smile he is developing a very deep soft spot for.

“Myself and Grizzer will be walking you home tonight mesh’la” a wave of authority washes over his voice as his gaze lingers on your face slowly moving down your bare neck then back up to your eyes.

Those eyes set a fiery blaze within him melting the tough shell around him.

“Oh no that is ok Hound I will be -“

“I won’t take no for an answer mesh’la” he grins.

That word… Mesh’la. It rolls off his tongue so elegantly sending tingles throughout your body.

Each evening after your time spent in the GAR base Hound accompanies you home along with a happy Grizzer, the conversation flows, jokes are cracked and each evening Hound continues to fall for you. Your beauty overwhelms him with no words can describe it. The moon and the stars don't glow as bright or powerful as your eyes. One glance at you, that's all it takes for Hounds gruff exterior to shatter and his heart to beat faster. He made it quite clear you are the only thing in this galaxy that makes him feel the way he does.

You both stop outside the doors of your apartment building, a small silence before Hound removes his helmet, you feel your heart skipping a beat, the soft quiet between you both betraying your stuttering breathing.

Hound steps closer closing the distance between your bodies, his hot breath fans across your face, his natural scent invades your nostrils and he kisses you. The kiss is soft and lazy as a gloved hand gently caresses your cheek, the other placed in the small of your back pulling you flush against his broad body.

His tongue sweeps across your lips a gentle request to explore the inside of your mouth to which you gladly accept.

“Your so beautiful” he groans into the kiss pulling you as close as possible.

You break away leaning your head in the crook is his neck before your eyes dart upto his face.

“Would you both like to come in for some dinner and stay the night?” Your voice barely above a whisper, gentle fingertips graze Hounds strong jawline. A little shiver shoots up his spine.

He places a featherlight kiss upon your temple, his words light and hushed.

“We would love too Daisy”.

A blissful year later and you laid in the arms of your clone lover , Grizzer snoring away snuggled at the end of your bed, a perfect bliss you never wanted to conclude.

Hound holds you tight drawing small circles onto your hip, goosebumps erupt across your soft skin and the heat in your core rises , a bold feeling overtakes you and find yourself straddling Hound grinding achingly slow against his hardening crotch.

“Mesh’la” his low growl is a warning.

“I thought you were tired” his tone rough as he groans closing his eyes letting his head fall back into the pillows, you watch as his stomach muscles flex against your movements.

You lean over licking a small stripe up his chest to his side of his neck. His palms skim over your thighs.

“I’m never too tired for you Sergeant” you moan softly your lips drifting across his throat, the little bites become harder as your hips roll against his erection.

The sudden force of his calloused hands grabbing your hips curling his fingers into you possessively have you gasping aloud. He pulls you down onto him mirroring your grinding movements. His cock throbbing underneath you. You raise your hips up and begin to gently fist his length holding him firm.

“Fuck mesh’la that feels so good” tendons in his neck straining as he tries to keep ahold of any composure.

You remove your hand and begin to kiss down his stomach until your reach his throbbing length. His cock is thick and veiny, the velvet tip swollen dripping beads of pre cum, your tongue swirls around lapping up every salty droplet, you begin sucking the tip of his cock.

“That’s it, fuck that’s a good girl” he hisses his fingers tangled in your silky hair.

His cock twitches as your tongue flattens underneath him.

You freeze for a moment as Grizzer stirs jumping to you both you can’t help but snort out a laugh.

“GRIZZER! Down!” Hound scowls. You roll off Hound onto the bed clutching at your stomach as your laughing becomes that much more. You watch as Hound shoo’s the happy massiff out of the room locking the door behind him.

“Your are rather mean to our little Grizzer” you tease.

“Shut up” Hound scolds you as pins you down on the bed, a small smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Awww is my dear sweet trooper grum-“ your words are cut off by the force of him impaling you with his thick cock. Your breath hitches and your body tingles with excitement his strong hands grip your hips, strong and unrelenting.

Your eyes shut and breathy moans and groans escape your lips,he hisses through gritted teeth. His cock slides in your tight wet cunt with ease, rubbing and dragging along your walls causing a fulfilling feeling.

You arch your back wrapping your slender legs tight around his waist as he fucks into you at a harsh fast pace. A steamy haze fogs your mind and clouds your vision, your fingers nails digging into the back of his neck leaving crescent marks.

You whimper and moan the harder he fucks you.

“Ohh Hound ohh”

“I love to hear those pretty moans mesh’la” the strain is his voice harsh.

“More- oh fuck more please” you plead and beg.

The way he angels your body has his cock reaching places you never thought possible. Your cunt begins to convulse and flutter your desperate oh so desperate to soak his cock in your juices. His hips rock into you slamming against you harder and harder. In and out. Forcing his cock into your cunt at a devastating angle hitting that perfect spot. Fucking you without any restraint.

“Ohhh stars Hound”

His groans and moans followed by the slapping of skin against skin fill the air in the room.

Shooting stars cast a beautiful glimmer behind your eyes as your body gives way and you cum violently on his throbbing cock. Your body writhes underneath his large scar decorated body. His warm cum splatters your walls as white hot pleasure engulfs you and Hound alike. Hands grasp and claw at each other, bodies fall limp and grind against each other as you both ride out your highs from the sparkling euphoria. Creamy cum leaks out down your thighs staining the sheets below.

“Time to let Grizzer back in” you giggle into his neck.

Hound side eyes you letting out a small chuckle.

“Anything for you my mesh’la.”

TAGLIST- @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @hellhound5925 @hello-there-cyarika @cw80831 @dangraccoon @idontgetanysleep @secretthegriffin @kimiheartblade @jules-1999 @justanothersadperson93 @dukeoftheblackstar @clonemedickix @clonelovr @trixie2023 @n0vqni @techs-ass @eternal-transience-spice @reader6898

If you want to be added or removed LMK😃🩷

[brother-genitivi]

General- 3 and 5

Story- 1 and 10

Romance- 4 and 7

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

Astarion - "I'm not sure if it makes you foolish or pragmatic to invite someone who held a knife to your throat into our camp. Still, he's quite masterful with a blade, and we'll need all the help we can get."

Gale - "Now, this one I like. He seems to know a bit about our... unwelcome host. And if I were in his position, I too would seek out a portal to fall into."

Lae'zel - "Lae'zel strikes me as one that has little patience for nonsense. Don't ask me where I got that impression. I cannot wait to see her prowess in battle, but I think I'll keep my distance all the same."

Shadowheart - "That artifact of hers intrigues me. I feel there is more to it (and her) that meets the eye. I'd like to get to know her. If she will let me."

Karlach - "Karlach is just a ray of sunshine, isn't she? That's good. Our little group of misfits could do with some joy. And perhaps someone to hide behind when the going gets tough."

Wyll - "The Blade of Frontiers. What a grand title. I envy the way he carries himself; with the grace of one who knows how to dance. Yet, Wyll somehow reveals everything and nothing all at once."

Halsin - "I'm glad Halsin is joining us. His presence is comforting. Now the Shadow Curse is lifted, perhaps I might get him to sit down and relax for once."

Jaheira - "I've met few legends before. It's almost startling how... normal she is. She's just like you or I; she merely had the luck to survive, to live long enough to have her story told."

Minsc - "Poor Minsc. To have a friend's face manipulating you, then watching that same 'friend' die and reappear again must be a shock. Though he seems to be recovering quickly. Boo's influence, no doubt."

Minthara - "I should be wary of Minthara, but... I just feel sorry for her. To have your mind belong to another is a terrible thing. Don't tell her, of course. She'd likely scalp me for pitying her."

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?

"There is some truth in what this... 'visitor' tells us. These tadpoles are not normal. But there are many lies in what they say. Their form for me is someone I know to be dead. And perhaps it is a memory, a manifestation of my mind that causes them to appear so, but I don't trust them. Be careful."

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

Answered here :)

Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?

She does! It's a short scene near the water where the PC can express interest towards her. She will brush off their comments, but say they aren't entirely unwelcome. She'll say that she can't act upon her own feelings just yet, but if the PC is willing to wait, to simply give her time. Then Safaa will challenge them to a stone skipping contest.

What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?

What is she most afraid of hearing? (Answer: It was your fault.)

What does she need to hear the most? (Answer: I forgive you.)

What is her greatest weapon? (Answer: Her voice.)

[blahblahblahoohrottmnt]

Taken Seriously AU (Rottmnt)

BM: Big Mama

L: Leo

D: Donnie

R: Raph

M: Mikey

D: we need to find a way into Big Mama’s office again

L: don’t worry, Hermano. I’ll just use my ultra reliable portaling sword!

R: Leo…please no…the last time you teleported without strategy, you ended up on the Eiffel Tower

M: and the last time you portalled us, you took us to BARRY’S LAB! INSIDE THE TUBE!

L: well…suit yourself…*portals himself*

All - L: LEO!

(In the office)

L: *phew*…keep it together Leo. If you can’t keep them happy, what’s the point? Well…you got in here…so… I guess that’s a start

BM: I’m telling you, Reynard, he- Ah! My turtly-boo! Such an extravagant meeting with you, Dear. Now tell me, what brings you into my establishment?

L: I- Me and my brothers are supposed to take a few gold coins from you. Mystic gold coins. Think that exchange can be done without my life on the line?

BM: Well a deal wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t get anything. Now, what extraordinary part of yourself shall I take now?

L: You already took my dignity, what else can you take?

BM:…what do you want me to take, Blue?

L: uh- want to take?

BM: yes! It may be more on your side but at least I get something!

L: I mean…It’s more give than take but…

BM: but?

L: I want to be more serious. For my brothers. I- just…I think they’d like it more if their leader was more of a leader than….a circus joker

BM: so you want me to take your humor?

L: part…I mean, how can I be the face-man without my humor, am I right?

BM: let’s do little by little. 50% and then we take 55%, 60%. Does that sound good, turtle-blue?

L: turtle-blue, that’s new…ok…fine

BM: good! *gives the coins* there, you got what you want, now I can get my end of the bargain.

L: *sigh* for my brothers

BM: follow me, Leonardo.

(Donnie, Raph, and Mikey successfully infiltrate Big Mama’s Grand Nexus Hotel, they walk by and see Leo being pulled away by Big Mama)

M: oh no!

R: keep quiet Mikey, he’ll be ok

D: in iconic Leo Fashion, Leo is captured first

R: cmon guys, let’s just find those coins, get Leo out, and get out

D: an extra step because of Leo’s stupidity

R: don’t be so rough on him

M: what if…we were too rough?

D: impossible, my analytics say otherwise

R: when was the last time you updated that?

D: 3 years ago

R: update it now

D: fine (like it needs to) *updates it*

R: now, mystic coins, mystic coins

D: oh! Oh my

R: what?

D: analytics…50% higher

R: what was it at before?

D: 45%…there’s a 95% chance that we were too rough

R: Leo’s a tough guy, that 5% will take over. I promise you

(In Big Mama’s special lab)

BM: Reynard! Set him up for the test

Reynard: yes, yes, of course. *gets him started*

BM: don’t worry my turtly-boo, you won’t feel a thing…kinda

L: I’m trusting you

BM: don’t worry! Just turn it on Reynard, 50%

Reynard: but miss-

BM: turn…it on

Reynard:…..yes ma’am

L: AGH!

BM: don’t worry! Just for a minute!

(In Leo’s head)

L: ugh…Big Mama, what did you do? Wait- why is it a white void?

Memory:

M: LEO WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

L: SORRY! IT JUST WONT TAKE US-

D: YOU CAN’T TAKE US THERE! JUST GET IT TO WORK ALREADY, BEFORE BARRY COMES IN AND FIGURES OUT WE’RE IN HERE!

L: oh no…

Memory:

M: LE-E-E-O—O

L: wait…what?

Memory:

D: Y-Y-OU CA-A-AN’T T-TAKE U-US TH-THERE!

L: hey is it…is the memory glitching?

Memory:

L: I-IT WONT T-T-T-AKE U-U-U-S TH-THEEE-ER

L: what?

Memory:

L: I-I-IT-I-I I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ll get us there

L: that…isn’t what happened…*gasps and turns around*

Memory:

D: is this Tahiti? Well let me make a sand angel on this lovely, soft, wooden sand. Ouch

L: ok, not what i meant to do but I got rid of the pirates!

D: is this t-a-ta-tabi-tahiti? We-well

L: o-o-o-ok, n-no-Not what i meant to do bu-bu-b-b

L: what’s going on?

Memory:

L: b-u-bu but I’m really sorry I keep making these royally embarrassing mistakes. I’ll get the hang of it. And when I get the chance, I’ll portal you guys, maybe me too, back to Tahiti! Promise

L: that is also not what happened. Are these glitchy memories just gonna help me become more serious because phew I can feel it…and it feels super not like me! Like, being the goofy one and then that being cut in half it just-

Inner Leo: hey boring me!

L: AH!- WHA- wha- who are you?

Inner Leo: the inner you, of course! The one who DIDNT want to be more serious. I’m just a back up if you want to go back

L: heh, like I will

(Back in the real world)

BM: how do you feel, Turtly-boo?

L: thank you.. *portals to the others*

(In big mama’s office)

L: *Portals to them* Hello, Hermanos

D: Leo! Where have you been? And how did you get out on your own? But still, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?

R: RAPH, MIKEY, AND DONNIE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THE MYSTIC COINS BUT THERE’S NOTHING!

L: *takes out the coins from portal*

M: where did you get that?

L: big mama, arranged a deal

D: what deal? A deal for your annoyingness?

L: (yes) no! Is that what you think of me?

D: quite yes

L: uh…I just needed to Portal an employee back to her…for the coins

D: so this search was…somehow…saved by Leo’s stubbornness. Sigh, let us go home

M: ok…

R: wouldn’t it be easier to use Leo’s portals?

D: you must be joking, Raph. He’ll probably Portal us to Paris, on top of the Eiffel Tower

L: i could try

D: key word, try

L: *portals* if it makes you feel better, I’ll go in myself *jumps in*

R: that was…oddly mature of him

L: yup, it’s the lair

D: well, this once it seems that his portals actually were useful *jumps in*

M: yay! *canon ball*

R: *jumps*

(At the lair)

R: good going there, Leo!

L: thanks Raph

R: y’know, keep this up and you can be a true leader!

L:…thanks…y’know what I’m gonna go grab some pizza!

R: ok! Half meat lovers, half cheese!

L: you got it! *portals away*

(At the Grand Nexus Hotel)

BM: ah! My little foozle! Up for another round?

L: yes…

BM: REYNARD!

(After a few days of doing this, Mikey notices Leo’s personality changing)

M: pfft HAHAAH!

L: yes Mikey?

M: ok ok…what do you call (pfft) a fish? With no eyes?

L: an eyeless fish?

M: A FSH AAHAHAHHAHHA!

L: Wow that’s a really good joke ,Mikey ,but I’m trying to train so that my portals are more accurate. If you’d like, you can go tell dad or April that joke!

M: oh…ok *walks out* why is Leo so different? He’s been near that hotel a lot…maybe I should go ask Big mama

(At the Nexus Hotel)

M: big mama?

BM: ah! Orange! My little foozle, what brings you here?

M: has Leo done anything with you? Say…change his personality?

BM: well if you’d really like to know, Leo made a deal with me for the mystic coins he got last week. I told him that in exchange for bits of his humor, he gets the mystic coins. He says he wants to be more serious for you and your brothers!

M: so…he wanted to change…because of us?

BM: why yes! He said that he did all this to make you happy!

M: happy…happy….*gasps and running back to the lair*

(Back at the lair)

D: hey Mikey, has Leo been acting weird to you? I made him look at a meme and he just said to send it to others

R: and I tickled Leo but Leo just got…annoyed

M: IT’S BECAUSE OF US!

R: what do you mean?

M: big mama has been taking Leo’s humor, in exchange, he got the mystic coins

D: so his weird behavior was big mama’s fault!

M: no…big mama told me the reason…Leo wanted to have his humor removed to make us happy. They thought that if his humor was taken away, he’d make you guys happier. Being more serious seems to be Leo’s way of saying that he’s sorry…for being so stupid…

D: no…no Mikey you’re joking

M: I wish I was

D: see! My analytics were never wrong!

M: we need to get him back!

R: how?

D: maybe there’s a way to get him back with some simple psychological manipulation

M: I can try?

(In Leo’s room)

M: hey Leo? Big Mama told me everything…why have you been giving away your humor?

L: well..I thought you’d like me better if I did! It’s working, isn’t it?

M: we’re sorry

L: what?

M: we’re sorry for making you feel this way

L: no no no NO! *running to the nexus hotel*

M: LEO! GUYS LEO’S GOING TO THE HOTEL, I THINK

D: FOLLOW HIM!

(at the hotel)

L: I want all of it erased

BM: are you su-

M,D,R: *bursts in*

M: LEO!

D: *Starts fighting big mama*

BM: HOW DARE YOU!? HE WANTED THIS!

D: BUT THIS ISNT WHAT WE WANTED…(and my plan failed terribly)

L: *gasp*

M: WE JUST WANTED LEO TO UNDERSTAND HIS ACTIONS!

R: WE DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE HIM FEEL THIS WAY!

M: LEO! WE JUST WANT TO HELP

L: hm

M: ok uh…which one of these buttons…

R: *presses the big red button*

L: *gasp*

(In Leo’s head)

M: Leo we’re so sorry!

L: don’t worry, I forgive you. Now where is he? Oh jeez

Inner Leo: hey boring me

L: I want you to come back

Inner Leo: really? Jeez, our brothers did a lot to get to this moment. Alright!

(In reality)

L: alright, let’s do this, Hermanos!

All - Leo, Big mama: LEO!

D: a Little Help with the giant spider?

L: right! Mikey, distract big mama, Raph get her legs. Dee, take her head!

All - L, BM: GOT IT!

L: I’ll take what was mine

(Leo and his brother pursue the fight. With big mama down, Leo takes Big Mama’s webs which she spat out on the walls and chains her in her own webs on the ceiling. With Big mama defeated for another day, The brothers head home…or..to the sewers. Same thing)

(After the fight)

L: oh that feels so much better!

M: glad to have you back, Leo!

D: I’m glad you’re back too

L: Bet you did miss my awesomeness

All - Leo: Leo!

L: it was a good one!

D: *sigh* fine…it was

[alypagemage]

Caramon’s Monologue (The Last Trial, 2020.10.4)

(Several men are lying about all over the inn, sleeping soundly. Caramon wakes)

Caramon: How much can you do the same thing every day? Again, this reality is so harsh. And I dreamed…I forgot. (To himself) What dream did you have?

Where is my mug?…Mug, where are you? Mug! Hiding somewhere. Don’t leave me!

How many days have passed? He’d promised to write me…He did write.

Friends, Raistlin returned the letter. My letter. There was nothing. You sleep.

A year has passed since he bid me ‘Goodbye’. He said, “I will write to you.” And here, dear friends, I seem to be sitting in self-isolation. Waiting for my brother to write me.

Where is the wine? Isn’t there a drop of wine around here? It can’t just go missing like that. A whole years supply, gone.

(Sees an extra barrel of ale)

Ah, my dear wife Tika didn’t count on one at least. I think there’s something…(taps barrel) Yes! This is life’s miracle - wine.

I remember a dream…I saw my brother. My dear beloved twin. I talked to him. I opened my arms and… Raist stands and waves his hands as if to cast a spell “Dont come near, otherwise I’ll use a Spell of Distance!”

(Chokes back a sob) Theres no need. Do not applaud me, friends. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve been up to.

(Dips his mug into the barrel to collect the ale, toasts) To your health, friends.

Tika: (offscreen) Hey, Caramon!

Caramon: I must hide! (Looks around, then dives into the barrel to hide) The wife!

((Song: Solace - Tika, Ensemble, Crysania, Caramon))

Tika:🎶 Who ordered potatoes? Who ordered soup? Let me pour you some more wine! Here’s your treat, it’s on the house! Hey Lad, watch your hands, I’m my husbands wife!

Ensemble: And where is this husband? Did he vanished into thin air? Here you are on your own, cooking and serving food!

Women: On her own, so what? We will help! So you have a rest and take a seat! 🎶

(Musical interlude. Crysania enters)

Crysania: 🎶Good people, I am looking for a guide to the Grove of The Dead.

Tika: To The Grove of The Dead, it’s no joke! My lady, it’s best to give up this idea. The one who sent you to that forest obviously wishes for your death! The mages enchanted that grove so that people who don’t have magic powers don’t come near the tower! And now there is no way to get there - no one knows what is in The Grove: The Grove never returns the dead. And the living, as long as they stay alive, are stranded in the masses of trees.🎶

(The Ensemble repeats Tika’s warning about The Grove)

Crysania: So no one is coming with me? Not even to take me to The Grove? Very well then. I will go alone.

Guest 1: It’s certain death! That mad Priestess!

Tika: Where are you going? At least wait for my husband!

Guest 1: Yes, he is brave enough to do it!

Guest 2: To assist the Priestess!

Guest 3: Let Majere help the Priestess to reach The Grove!

Crysania: Majere?

Ensemble: Majere! Our glorious Majere! Our compatriot, Caramon the Hero! Majere, Majere, our glorious Majere! Our compatriot, Caramon the Hero! Here he is!

(The Ensemble tips over the barrel Caramon is hiding in. Caramon comes tumbling out, looks around)

Caramon: Friends, look! Raistlin returned my letter! He didn’t read it. Didn’t sign sign it. Only an inscription: I have no brother. No brother…no brother! No brother! There once was a time when we fought back to back, together during the war! We were united by that war.

“No brother! No brother!” And in our childhood? I was always protecting him. Now he doesn’t need protection. “No brother! I have no brother!” Wife, pour more wine. Let’s remember the young maple. Just me and my brother, planted. Now it’s torn down. With this axe we have almost cut it down.

(A stray barrel rolls towards Caramon and bumps his leg. He turns and starts to stroke the barrel lovingly, sadly)

Tika: Caramon, you’re acting crazy! Maybe I should just leave?

Caramon: What are you clinging to, Tika? No reason to come in in the morning.

Tika: To think this is the man who kicked my door! This drunken, worldly soul. Is he a Majere too, or not?

Ensemble: Or so his mother says! Yes, it’s indeed time to break the routine of drunken riots! What a good boy Majere once was. These days he’s such a disgrace! All those feats, swords and dragons. Come spoil yourself! There’s no need to wander around the world at all!

Dreams were born in this village - so sit yourself down. How can you help here? Everything is so difficult. What is there to do here? Such a foolish family.

Caramon: Be quiet! I will not hear of it.

Tika: The honour in family does not cost a Penny! (((***I have no idea what she means by this - maybe that family honour isn’t everything??***))

Ensemble: His brother is refined and sublime, he doesn’t look like his brother!

Tika: There he goes again, he tries to write to his brother. Lets things fall to the brave gnomes. That brother, with his tower and sorcery. He gets up he gets drunk!

Caramon: Wife, leave me alone!

Ensemble: Yes indeed, it’s time! Let’s wash our hands of these wizards. What a good boy he was, Majere. And now look - with both horror and shame! Going on about staffs, dragons and towers. All those spoils! There is no need to wander at all. Stay here and be merry!

Caramon: Sit by yourself. I’m already tired of everything.

Tika: Caramon. Caramon?

Caramon: Yes, my wife?

Tika: Crysania is our guest - from the Temple of Paladine.

Caramon: Paladine? The Temple? Wasn’t it under quarantine? (((***Aha, I see what you did there Rosti 😙***))) (To Crysania) Welcome!

Crysania: (sighs) I was hoping to meet here the famous warrior.

(One of the guests laughs at this)

Crysania: (holding her nose) …but apparently I’ve wasted my time. ((***oof, poor Caramon! apparently he reeks of ale and she can smell him even from where she’s standing ^^;;;)))

Caramon: What is wrong? I am a little on the bigger side, sure. Crysania is of Paladine?

Tika: No, this priestess must be mad! And you are stuck like a pillar. She went alone. Are you a man or not? It’s all your brother’s fault! The girl’s brain has turned…take her back! Are you even awake, Caramon? Come on, take your sword and take your helmet! It hurts me to see them rust here! Go protect her!

Ensemble: Go protect her!

Caramon: I will later!

Tika: (She throws her apron at Caramon) All done here.

Caramon: I can’t!

(((***Okay there is a bit more dialogue here but when I was copying it from my Notes I selected ‘Cut’ instead 😤 it’s just as well, youre not missing a lot - Tika storms off in a huff while the Ensemble is repeating “Go protect her!” And Caramon in his drunken haze is reasoning with himself)))

Caramon: Wait, I just remembered…I’m going to The Grove to protect the priestess!

(((***I love how he pretends to just remember what he was supposed to be doing, as if he wasn’t just making excuses to not to accompany Crysania a second ago XD it’s kinda funny but also kinda sad ><*)))

(End scene)

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

WE STARTED.... A NEW SCENARIO..... as you may have read in Boo’s summary post, for some unknown reason aLL MUSICAL AND PERFORMANCE ABILITY SEEMS TO BE??? GONE??? Sammy woke up, realised he couldn’t hold even the simplest tune in his head, and immediately lost THIRTY-ONE SANITY in one hit

..... YOU KNOW THAT MAKES SENSE HONESTLY

 anyway i have a some out-of-context quotes from the game for u all under the readmore if ur into that kinda thing!!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] It's a tough voice to do, so you can't be as choosy, and your resident Bendy cannot act to save his life, so that's no good-- [Joey] Uh-oh. [Jack] Sorry, Lurks. [Joey] I'm just so worried he's going to have to act now... [Jack] Clearly, he should've used the time between scenarios to train that! [GM] Yeah, that's just what everybody wants I'm sure, is the Lurker training in LYING. That sounds like a great idea!

[GM] *asking for dice rolls to see how well our actual jobs are going* We can do a little bit of mundanity to, to treasure, and keep you warm later!

[Henry] Should I spend Luck points on this? No, I'm not spending Luck on work. [Sammy] That's a good general life policy

[Jack] Does Jack have any contacts? [Joey] No, he has glasses! :D [Jack] noooo that's my job! It's my job to make Jack's puns! ....Contacts probably didn't exist in the 1930s, that's okay. [Sammy] No, don't say that! Boo's going to have to look it up now!

[GM] What spell is Joey working on? [Jack] (Spell of Make Investor Like You)

[Joey] I think he probably has filing cabinets specifically to put occult stuff in and lock. And then the rest of his office is just piles and tables of animation stuff that you're like "...shouldn't this??? be??? in the filing cabinet???"

[GM] Allison remarks, "The companions of our childhood always possess a certain power of our minds, which hardly any later friend can obtain." [Sammy] Y'know, normal, just nORMAL CASUAL CHATTER, [GM] Tom, working on the pipe, just kinda mutters, "I enjoy friends, dear not only by habit and association, but from their own merits." And she gives him a look! [Jack] ...love at first whATEVER THIS IS,

[Sammy] ...Sammy's not amused. [GM] The band's amused! [Jack] Jack is probably amused.

[GM] So far things are going very well, but y'know, [Jack] Only so long until we crit fail something! [Sammy] NEVER TOO LATE TO MESS IT UP!

[GM] Allison's vibe is like, I Didn't Study This Exactly, But I Was Hoping It Could Just Work Out! [Jack] ...She has a lot of practice at just... making things work out, huh.... 

[GM] Is there anything else Joey would try to show off? [Joey] Tries to think... what else is at the Studio... [Jack] "Do you wanna talk to our janitor? He's really cool!"

[Joey] I roll to see if Joey can put two brain cells together,

[Jack] I have to appreciate that Bendy said he didn’t have the keys today. He’s been stealing them before, but THIS TIME isn’t his doing!

[Sammy] If there’s anything he needs to do himself, then he’ll come in early, but I don’t know what state we’re in -- [Joey] Uh, New York. [Sammy] ...what? [Joey] You didn’t know what state we’re in. :) [Sammy] [Sammy] thanks

[Joey] Oh Joey’s absolutely coming in early. Joey woke up, and felt great, so he’s going to menace every other department today, because he has the energy to get his fingers into everything! [Sammy] *distressed sounds in the background*

[Sammy] Hey how come when we did a Halloween cartoon, we all went to Haiti, but we’re doing a cartoon about a fair and we’re not going to a fair? [Jack] [Jack] I think we all know why.

*trying to decide who goes to Joey’s fancy dinner with an investor* [Sammy] I don’t know if Sammy will help you... [Sammy] Unless you bring Sammy and put him on a piano, like a small child that needs to be immediately handed crayons.

[Joey] Joey will say that they’re essentially the second hands in each of the departments-- [Jack] Yeah, Abby, the second hand… entire Art Department director, [GM] Uh-huh. [Joey] She… she knows,, [GM] Joey, [Joey] She knows that Joey… is … Big Gay for Henry,,, [GM] This is true, but I think she likes nominal acknowledgement that she holds a position, [Jack] He can just say that they’re high-ranking, and not-- [Joey] No I rolled badly, Joey’s going to say that Sammy and Henry are busy, so he brought his second-best! :) [GM] Abby is massaging her temples. [Joey] Sorry, Abby. He is,, an idiot,,, [GM] I think she’d be a lot more bothered if she couldn’t go and commiserate with Henry about it. Like, “why can’t he keep it straight?” [GM] ……………….well. She knows why he can’t keep it straight.

[GM] It’s about midnight, and something... strange.... happens. The trumpet player, who is leading the band -- [Joey] -- has a trumpet for a head! [GM] what no

*Joey succeeds a sanity check, Jack fails it* [GM] Joey, roll 1d10! [Joey] Uh, 3? [GM] Okay, you’re only down three sanity, that’s not so bad! [GM] Jack, roll 6d10! [Jack] what? [Joey] Six??? SIX d10s????? [GM] Yeah! [Joey] nICE KNOWING YOU, JACK!!! It’s time for Sillytime Jack.

[Jack] Smash cut to Henry, curled up in bed, nice and cozy,

[GM] I will also note, you cannot seem to Fast Talk. [Joey] ...what else can I do? [GM] Just normal talk. Like a normal person.

[Jack] I feel like Jack probably has a hunch that it’s weird nightmarish horror nonsense, on account of he just lost nineteen sanity,

[GM] Abby’s gonna try to take him to the hospital. [Jack] Jack’s just going to let that happen, because he’s shaken enough that he doesn’t have any significantly better ideas! Other than AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,

[Sammy] *rolling sanity damage* 9… 9, stop that…. 4, [Jack] You’ve already lost more than Jack! [Sammy] 2, ...6, and 1! [Joey] That’s 31. [GM] Okay, Sammy has six sanity! [Sammy] eXCUSE ME?????

[Joey] Joey does want to head home… what day is it? [GM] Friday, the 13th! [Jack] HM, [Sammy] I GUESS IT IS, ISN’T IT… I wasn’t keeping track, but I guess it sure is! [GM] A delightful treat for myself, when I was looking up days in July, in 1934, [Sammy] WAIT, NO, ITS ACTUALLY A COINCIDENCE? Oh my gosh, [Jack] Because Friday the 13th wouldn’t even be a spooky day at this point in time! [GM] It is now! [Jack] It’s spooky, but just for us!

[Sammy] Sammy would try to call Jack, he’d try to call Joey, he’d try to call Henry -- probably several times, [Henry] sammy gets jack’s cat [Henry] phone is answered with meows [Jack] That does seem fitting for a really bad luck roll; the phone gets answered, and Sammy’s really relieved -- and it’s just the cat. [Sammy] Sammy, at 6 sanity: “jack’s tuRNED INTO A CAT,”

[Joey] The phone kept on ringing, so the cat just batted it off the cradle, [Jack] I feel like Jack probably doesn’t usually get a significant number of calls, so like, this many calls in a row is just obnoxious! [Jack] Cat’s having none of it. [Jack] Phone ring isn’t breakfast! [Jack] Where is the soft provider of food.

[GM] Oh no, you know what’s going to happen? Henry’s gonna get through to Jack, and then when Sammy calls it’s busy! [Sammy] cALLS JACK IT’S BUSY, CALLS HENRY IT’S BUSY, [Jack] I was gonna say maybe Henry would call Sammy first, because Sammy was one of the original three. [Jack] …Henry calls Sammy, Sammy is busy because SAMMY is trying to call someone, and then Henry calls Jack, and Sammy tries to call Jack again-- [Sammy] *laughing* THE HORROR, The deep, bone-chilling horror of A TIME BEFORE CALL-WAITING!!

[Henry] Is Joey there? [Jack] Yeah. [Henry] Are you guys alright? [Jack] ……………….hm,

[Jack] Cat is just sat on Joey, purring. Something is wrong with the human. Purr to fix the human.

[Henry] I called Sammy to make sure he’s okay, but-- [Abby] Was he? [Henry] No.

[Joey] Joey is going to be… obstinate feels like the wrong word? [Joey] He’s being the cat where you put the leash on, and the cat just sits down. [Joey] That is the Joseph mood right now.

[Sammy] *muttering* First one boyfriend turns into a cat, now the other boyfriend’s voice is wrong, today is terrible,

[Joey] This is Joey’s everything. [Sammy] That’s Joey’s contribution to the party! That’s like, your bard can no longer play music. [Sammy] ……….which is also true, but Sammy contributes other things. [Jack] Like Intimidate! [Sammy] Right now he contributes paranoia!

[yanderecandystore]

Hello, this is the first time I’ve come here and I’d like, if possible, you could place my order, I don’t remember if I already placed that ask or something, so if yes, sorry to bother you...

I can order something with Yandere! Vampire with a Vampire Slayer! Reader, please...

Welcome in!

Well yes boo, you did make a very similar request, and I'm sorry if it took me like a long time to answer you (at least to me it feels like a whole month has passed, time has been so slow and so fast somehow-) it's just that I'm dealing with a lot of stuff outside of Tumblr and although I try to not think about it, it does affect my performance in writing. Also you're not bothering me at all boo!

Also I just realized something, normally when I write I put really mean remarks about the reader but it's not supposed to be taken seriously by you guys, as it's mostly either an look into the perspective of the ocs (normally the bullies who are very mean and cruel-) or even an exaggeration on the reader's current mind state (if the reader feels dumb about a certain action they have chosen, I try to make them sound very exaggerated since I don't want any of you to take it personally, y'all are beautiful okay? Don't worry about the snarky comments and rude remarks that I may write).

I'll try to make it more obvious that it's mostly a character's exaggerated perspective next time, or maybe put trigger warnings about degrading language/mean comments.

TW/Tags: mentions of addiction (to blood) // male x male // male reader // vampy vamp // monster(vampire) x (human)reader // mentions of death // unofficial OC/just a random character I decided to create for this specific piece // captivity/kidnaping // mentions of torture/infliction of pain // mind control/gaslighting/manipulation and stockholm syndrome // being drugged/poisoned // kinda sadistic but not so much so cause I like giving y'all some softness.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

True love is found in small bites [Yandere!M!Vampire x M!Vampire Hunter!Reader - Headcanon]:

Who doesn't like a little one on one with an immortal creature in a fight filled with sexual tension? Who wouldn't want to prove their worth to their dad who is a lonely vampire hunter?

Your dad had hunted vampires all by himself for years now and he won't stop until the day he drops dead, or at least that's what he told you.

He taught you everything that you needed to know, and honestly- You probably know a lot more than some of the guys who are paid to do this every month, Hell, your dad hunts them basically every week! That's kinda the reason why he won't accompany you this time, too busy dealing with vampires in a neighboring village, some rumours of some high profiled vampires coming into your hometown… He was very concerned for your safety before deciding that whenever these rumours were true or not, he needed to check them for himself regardless.

You decided to go on a hunt on your own, hunt one down and prove to your man that you'll do just fine all by yourself.

However, you have the knowledge from the books you read and from what your father taught you, but you don't have personal experiences in fighting vampires. So that's why you're finally going to take down a vampire all by yourself.

It took you some time to find the right target, but after hearing complaints about some odd things happening in the less wealthy part of town, you thought you had a pretty clear picture of what happened. You thought that maybe some vampires have been attacking the poorest people in town to not cause a bigger panic in the population, and sadly enough, you were right.

Apparently the vampirism started to spread uncontrollably as the newly transformed vampires weren't accustomed with the new malevolent power. Some would get addicted to blood and to the power they hold against humans, and start to bite more than what they can chew on.

You found someone who was acting suspiciously, a commoner who was acting more aggressively towards his neighbors and family, he had created a lot of enemies in only a couple of days after being transformed, as he was now acting like "royalty" surrounded by peasants. The poor bastard was out of his mind, and sadly you needed to take care of him before he would hurt more people.

The work of a vampire slayer (or at least, one who works on their own accord) isn't as glamorous or "pleasant" as most may think, it involves you constantly questioning yourself and your morals, the guy you're hunting has a family but from what you heard and from what you have seen as you observed him from afar- He is clearly gone, consumed by the addiction of human blood, he would end up hurting his own family if you didn't intervene.

You had to stalk him for basically the whole day, collecting information and waiting for a good opportunity to strike him- Sadly enough, you didn't know that someone else was also interested in killing him.

It was pretty quick now that you think about it- You were about to tackle him when someone else got to do it before you. You didn't know about vampire society's inner relationships but you are aware that there is some form of hierarchy, and that those who were transformed into vampires were considered to be closer to the bottom than those who were born into it. The bottom of their social structure being those who they could all feed on, so in other words humans.

As you have already prepared yourself to attack the blood addictic, this guy who seemed to have come out of nowhere has already noticed that he wasn't alone, you wouldn't be able to hide yourself at this point and running wouldn't be an option considering how fast he moved.

The only option was left was to fight this vampire who was clearly way too powerful for your newbie ass. It was a pretty tough fight, and even if you have lost- You did manage to prove that you weren't just a random human who found themselves in the wrong place, in the wrong time.

You were very well prepared- Idris was pretty impressed by your resistance, but from his eyes, you were lacking a lot in the intelligence department. You were a good brawler, but not a decent vampire slayer by far- He would question you about your level of skill constantly, even mocking the idea of you being an "newbie" at this job.

Idris had won in the end, making you his prisoner who he would bring back to his clan to be used as an easy food source while also giving them info about other vampire slayers. Of course you wouldn't give them anything, no matter how bad your situation was you would still fight to the very end.

Idris had used one of his abilities to bring you two to his clan's hideout in a blink of an eye, you weren't expecting it to be so quick. You were tied up and inside an "abandoned" mansion filled with vampires, you were sure you wouldn't survive this at all- Yet you had promised yourself to not give them any information about other vampires slayers, especially your father.

You have met them, all of them- All of the Nox clan of pure vampires (or at least the last of them), in one single place. They were all so eager to jump in and start the "fun" with you. To torture you, drink from you, control your mind so you would spill all that you know, they tried to but you wouldn't stop squirming and fighting their touch- However, your attitude has only helped to aggravate them.

Idris was in charge of taking care of you- And by that they meant he was the one who would be screwing with you the most. He would keep you alive with your bare necessities but would also be the one to punish and torture you to speak up.

Interestingly enough, Idris wasn't interested in violently taking the truth out of you- Oh no, boo- He was much more sadistic than that.

He saw you as a plaything, like a cat he would see you as something he should toy with before devouring- He would try to push you to your limits verbally, trying to trigger some sort of wound you may have. You were stronger than he assumed, he should have known you weren't so dumb to give in to his insults and threats.

He would still bite you though, hey, a man needs some blood before continuing his private interrogation, right? It's not his fault you're both his snack and the one being interrogated.

You were strong minded, you weren't feeling too awful about being taken as a prisoner, since you felt as if deep down you could still escape this- So the effects of the poison that he would inject on you weren't showing up at first, but after sometime of being under this terrible living condition with only him to talk with, you started to feel some type of weird way around him.

It could be the poison finally taking over, but you have started to notice some… Particular choices that Idris took when interacting with you. Again- It could be all some magic shit in your mind, but you could swear that the lingering touches from him weren't rough or painful as his threats.

Idris was never physically harmful towards you, even to his peers dismay as they would constantly scold him for being too soft. He was indeed very off putting and sadistic- But could he be hiding something deep inside his literally cold exterior? You started to think so… Well, you started to hope so.

See, although the poison is already making your mind dizzy and making you feel some kind of weird attraction towards Iris- It wasn't completely just your mind playing tricks on you, Idris has been trying a new tactic with you and it was working.

Maybe you haven't noticed yet, but for the last few weeks he has started to flirt with you more, touch you more and whisper less concerning things into your ears, and you were eating it all up due to your isolation and his poisonous bite.

The more he sucked your blood, the more enamoured you were with his softer "side", the poison becoming stronger with each bite. But everyday you two spend time together, Idris can't help but feel just as interested in you as you are to him. He may play it off as a sadistic manipulative (which he kinda is-) vampire who is above you and his own feelings- But whenever it's just you and him, he just feels like there is a bigger connection being formed.

The more you two get to know each other the more he'll start falling for you, to the point he doesn't know if he is faking empathy and care or if he actually likes you in a weird way. He has started to feel very satisfied whenever you start acting clingy, desperate even for his attention (again- He is the only one willing to even talk with you before biting you and sucking your blood), the sensation of power he feels is a little bit overwhelming- But very much appreciated.

You have started to feel some side effects from losing so much blood everyday, which has made Idris concerned and incapable of drinking from you for at least some time while you recover from it. But since you need some time to rest without being injected with more venom from fangs, which will cause you to start waking up from your brainwashed state and remember that A: It has been months since you were gone, your dad is out there looking for you and it's possibly thinking you're dead; B: You're trapped in a mansion filled with the last vampires of a powerful clan which has been massacred by vampire slayers like you; and C: You were starting to catch feelings for the one who brought you here- Regardless of manipulation and freaky vampire shit- You were indeed falling for his charm.

Whenever that happens, it will be obvious that you'll start trying to fight them and escape again, even if you're very, very weak from all these months without proper training and healthy eating habits.

You may try your hardest dear, but you'll need a better plan than just going feral on Idris. He is a lot stronger than you, especially since you can't even stand up on your own, and even hurting him makes you feel oddly awful- You had relied on him for so long, that it feels like you would be betraying him if you actually do hurt him, it seems like some of the effects of so much time under his manipulation are still present.

You can't hurt him, but you can still try to sneak out. You should still try to escape!

You would eventually come up with a plan to run away while it was still morning, even if it was a very flawed plan considering that the only place you knew in this entire mansion was Idris's room and bathroom. For some miracle reason, you would find a way to sneak out, it was pretty hard considering you have no strength in your legs, yet luckily no one seemed to be aware of your sudden movement around the corridors- Apparently the whole clan is composed of heavy sleepers.

Your escape was successful, but you wouldn't be able to reach safety anytime soon in your condition- And you knew that eventually they would wake up again and Idris would find you soon. Yet as you had promised yourself and your father, you weren't going down without a fight.

Idris is responsible for you, so whenever he notices that you were gone- He would first assume one of his kind has took you, but considering how everyone else in the clan considers him to be a nuisance and incompetent, he couldn't possibly ask around where were you. If he did, they would end up yelling at him and take you as their personal blood bag- He couldn't let them know that you have escaped.

He would search for you and be honest to god thankful that you weren't dead yet- He would be pissed but more concerned about your current state, after all you were supposed to be resting from losing so much blood and yet here you are: Trying to survive the wild nature around the mansion in a stupid attempt of escaping the vampires.

Idris would have to bite you more often while also giving some days off so you could rest, but doing in a way that you never lose the effects of the poison- He can't stand to see you fighting him so much.

I mean- He thinks that it's pretty attractive how fiesty you are, but he needs you to stay still in his bedroom and to start giving him those confused yet passionate eyes again- Idris doesn't know whether or not you're in love with him or is just acting in instinct considering your current position, and he soon will find himself begging for you to truly give in to this weird fantasy he has built around you two- But for now, all that he wants is the smallest affection that may come from you, even if it's not as true and morally correct as true love is supposed to be.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Exactly What You Wanted

CW: Drunk whumpee, referenced drug use, abuse survivor lashing out, low-level ptsd, rough recovery drabble, some references to dubcon and noncon

Timeline: During the years of Kauri’s Poor Life Choices

“Come on, baby,” Kauri says, in a voice like a deep rumbling purr, tilting his head just right, putting all that heat and warmth he doesn’t really feel into his eyes. He’s a good liar, he’s a great liar, and the booze in his veins and whatever that guy gave him two hours ago make him feel unstoppable. “Take me back.” He pauses, then giggles, and he knows they love to hear him laugh, they always love to hear him laugh.

He can laugh with a knife to his throat, he can laugh with his legs spread, he can laugh when every other trainee would be screaming, if they were in his place.

Jake, though, Jake doesn’t like the laugh. He doesn’t like the heat in Kauri’s eyes. He doesn’t like the voice, or the head-tilt, or any of it. He just sets his jaw, looking around the bar as if checking for witnesses, and Kauri can’t stop laughing at how comically serious he is. 

“Oh my god.” Kauri giggles again, puts his hands over his mouth. The bar is spinning around him, the colors are liquid bleeding into each other, he can feel the air move over his skin, like someone touching him. “You look like you ate a lemon.”

“I have class tomorrow, Kauri,” Jake says, voice sharp and flat somehow both at once, and he grips Kauri by the arm, pulling him towards the exit. A few of the guys at the table Kauri was sitting at boo loudly at the loss of Kauri’s sparkling brilliance - or maybe just at losing the way he’d been sitting in their laps one by one just to feel their arms around him. “I don’t mind taking you home-”

“Not my hooooome,” Kauri singsongs, but he lets himself be pulled. Jake’s hand on his arm feels nice. All of it feels nice, all touch, anyone’s hands mouth whatever they want on him, it’s nice. 

Means he’s wanted.

Means he’s real.

Jake exhales, rubbing his free hand over his face. He looks tired, doesn’t he? Kauri can suddenly see those dark circles under his eyes, the way his hair is all mussed up from a pillow. 

“I woke you up,” Kauri says as they leave, the stale heat and booze-smell from inside the bar giving way to cooler, fresher air outside. He lets Jake pull him down the sidewalk, looking up at him. He nearly walks into someone going the opposite way, until Jake pulls him to the side. “You, you were asleep when the phone rang.”

“Yeah,” Jake says roughly. His shirt’s on inside-out - Kauri hadn’t noticed that before, either. He must have rolled out of bed and changed out of his pajamas without even taking time to check. 

Kauri called for a ride and Jake didn’t waste a second.

“My car’s a few lots down,” Jake says, not looking at him as they walk. Kauri hums, taking in the beauty of the streetlights with their halos like angels hovering over the road, lighting the sidewalk. Someone calls his name and Kauri waves, trying to go give her a hug, but Jake’s grip on his arm stops him. It stops him, and makes his heart beat faster. “If we hurry, we can get back by 3, I can sleep til 6:30 if I pay for parking tomorrow instead of taking the bus.” He sounds like he’s already worked this all out for himself, and maybe he has. Maybe he talked through it the whole way here.

Kauri thinks of Jake talking to himself, planning out his day at a stoplight, and starts laughing again. Once he starts laughing, he can’t stop. They pass a small park, a kind of courtyard between two businesses, and Kauri puts up a hand, collapsing onto a bench. He can’t stop the giggling bubbling up out of him.

Jake all serious-faced, checking his phone, I can be asleep by 3:30, I can do this, I can do that, his whole planned life and his classes and Kauri is drunk at a bar and he’s high at a bar he did some stuff with a guy in a bar and he’s calling for a ride back from the bar-

“Kauri, come on.” Jake’s voice is weary, not just tired, not just sleepy, but exhausted. By the night, and by Kauri himself. “I don’t have time, I have to go to sleep.”

“You’re as stupid as I am,” Kauri says when he can get control of himself enough to speak, and there’s still laughter edging his voice, slightly breathless. “You know that? You’re a fucking moron just like me. Doing this. You’re so fucking stupid, we’re both so fucking stupid, Jake.”

“Kauri, you’re not stupid. I’m not talking about this here with you-”

“Why do you do this? Huh?” Kauri shakes his head, sweaty black curls sticking to his forehead in a sudden chill as a breeze ruffles them. He can feel his hair at the back of his neck, too, pressing there. Not the weight of a collar, but a memory of one anyway. “Why do you answer when I call?”

Jake swallows, rubs at his face again. “Because I want to-”

“No. No, that’s not it. No, you answer because I’m your fucking... your charge, right? Your ward. Because you feel sorry for me.” Kauri giggles, but there’s no real humor in it now. “I’m pitiful.”

“It’s not like that. You’re in pain-”

“Oh, shove your fucking psych-talk, Dr. Stanton.” Kauri shakes his head, leaning his back against the metal curve of the bench, looking straight up. In the city there are no stars, only a faint glow of lights making even the night sky just a little orange around the edges. “That’s what it is, right? You feel sorry for us, so you get to be the big hero, and we’re the pretty little pets grateful for whatever crumbs of mercy you throw-”

“Kauri. Stop it.” Jake’s voice snaps, and he leans in closer, and Kauri breathes in the fear that hearing an angry male voice lights in him, lets it spark his nerves with the booze and the everything else already there. “I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for anyone. Okay? Get up, we’re going home.”

“It’s. Not. My. Home.” Kauri meets Jake’s eyes this time, his own a sparkling, crackling blue flame, and Jake’s stony silent ocean, nearly gray in the darkness. “It’s not. You like this, huh? You like getting to show up and save the damsel in distress? Yeah?”

“Kauri, I would give anything to be fucking asleep right now-”

“But you didn’t. You got right up when I called, and that’s why you’re as stupid as I am. I’m brainless because they beat all my brains out of me, Jake - beat and fucked and drugged ‘em all out, left me all sweet and pretty and pointless for whoever paid the price - why are you stupid? Huh?”

Jake’s jaw works. “Kauri-”

“You’re stupid because you think I’m gonna stop being like this. You’re stupid because you think I can get better.”

“You can-”

“No, I can’t. I like me this way.” Kauri snorts, looks down his hands, but they’re shaking a little, and he doesn’t like that. He can’t feel them shaking but he can see them shaking. 

“I don’t think you do,” Jake tries, but his voice is getting ragged along the edges, and Kauri knows he’s pushing too far but he can’t stop himself now. “I think you want to get better and you just need more time.”

“Time?” Kauri laughs, and people walking by look over at them briefly, at the mess on the bench and the big tough man leaning over him. Kauri gives a little wave, I see you eavesdropping, assholes, and they hurry past. “Maybe this is fucking it, huh? What you see is all that’s left of me. What do you do then?”

Jake stares down at him. “I keep coming to pick you up anyway.”

“Oh, you’re just the best. Huh? The absolute pinnacle of fucking manhood. Jake Stanton, guardian angel and patron saint of the fucked-up messes that fall on your doorstep,” Kauri sing-songs, clapping his hands together in a mockery of prayer, eyes rolling back to the sky. “At least I’m nice to look at, huh? Got that going for me. I mean, it’s pretty much all I’ve got going for me, good fucking looks and pretty mouth and my tongue knows how to do that thing-”

“Kauri-”

“Used to be popular, in training,” Kauri says, leaning forward now, licking at his lips. Like Jake is the prey this time, like Kauri for once isn’t the one being held down but the one doing the holding. “Used to be a favorite. Only one way you get to be anyone’s favorite in training, Jake, and it’s not by being smart. Face it, Stanton, you got a hopeless case on your hands, you’re a big saintly perfect hero getting in your car after midnight to get your chaste savior rocks off with a fucking whore who won’t stop, who can’t stop, who will never get any better than this-”

“Kauri, for the love of God, stop it!” Jake’s voice raises finally, and Kauri flinches back against the bench. Adrenaline pulses all at once through his veins, heart racing, and he feels a mix of terror and a mean, cruel, small victory. 

Made him mad. I made him mad. Now he’ll be just like everyone else. Now he’ll hurt me. Now he’ll see why Owen had to.

But Jake doesn’t get closer, doesn’t shove a finger in Kauri’s face, doesn’t grab him by his shirt or his arm or his hand, doesn’t slap him doesn’t hit doesn’t scream. All he does is sigh, and look away, down the street in the direction he must have left his car. His shoulders shift. Kauri can see the anger in him, but it doesn’t rise, it isn’t wielded. It... fades, after a second, and leaves behind a weary look. An emotion Kauri can’t read. “Kauri. I’m not doing this. I’m not having this fight, not this late, not now. If you want to argue this in the morning, fine, but... god. I need to go home, okay?”

“Then go home,” Kauri says. He feels tears in his eyes, suddenly, and he can’t understand why. “Leave. No one’s stopping you.”

“You called me to come get you,” Jake says, but he knows where this is going, Kauri can see it in the way his shoulders slump, in how his hand moves into his pocket to dig his keys out. “Just come get in the car, okay? If you want to argue all the way home, it’s fine, but-”

“I already told you it’s not my fucking home. Go, Jake. I’m sorry I called. I won’t call you again.”

“Yes, you will.” Jake looks at him, an expression of almost comical confusion and hurt, and Kauri’s heart aches. “You will, right?”

But he sets his jaw. “No, I won’t. Don’t worry, I can handle myself.”

“Did you call me out here just to start a fight, Kaur?” 

Kauri doesn’t know how to answer, because he hadn’t, but now that he has started a fight he doesn’t want to admit it was an accident. He just swallows back the apology that tries to find its way out, forces it down. He sits back against the bench and shrugs, crossing his arms in front of himself. 

The silence draws out. 

As though the silence in itself said something - and maybe it did, really - Jake nods, finally, and pulls his keys out from his pocket. “Fine. I’m sorry it went this way tonight. Please... please call me.”

Kauri doesn’t answer, because if he opens his mouth, he’ll apologize for doing this, he’ll beg Jake not to hate him for it, and he can’t do that. He doesn’t know why, but there’s a rock in his mind blocking him from taking the first step to mend the break he made.

“Get some sleep, Saint Stanton. Maybe I’ll be pathetic enough to call you in the morning. We can go back to pretending you give a fuck about who I am as a person and not just as the little rescue who needs you. Make up for whatever fucked you up before that makes you want to work with us.”

That hits home. Kauri sees Jake wince, sees his hurt feelings written all over his face. Sees Jake consider arguing, give up. Sees the second Jake decides to stop trying.

That’s right. Stop trying. I’m not worth it. I don’t deserve you.

Kauri tries to feel that sense of victory from before, but all he feels now is cold - and as Jake turns and walks away, the cold slips from his heart into his fingertips, all the way down to his toes.

Cold, and alone.

“Congratulations,” He whispers to himself, watching Jake’s back as he walks away, until he turns a corner and is gone. “Good job, Kauri Grant. You got exactly what you wanted.”

Now all he wants is to take it back.

-

Tagging: @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @orchidscript @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @wildfaewhump @whumptywhumpdump 

[lihikainanea]

Did tiger and bill ever go through like a phase where tiger kind of had to get used to bill thinking of her? Like she wasn't really used to being someone's first choice, like someone thinking about what she might like or want. To have someone frankly just think of you. I'm sorry to be a bother. Just feeling kind of bad lately, and could use some sweet bill. Sorry again.

First of all boo, please don't ever be sorry for sliding into my DMs. I love hearing from you guys, especially if you're not doing that well. I'm all ears, and this blog is a safe space for everyone--so pull up a chair and stay awhile. I, and our two favourite idiots, would be nothing if it weren't for all the amazing asks that you guys send to me <3

Secondly, I love this train of thought because I think it is very, very true. And it probably started back at the beginning of their friendship, right? Yes, it did. Follow me down this rabbit hole.

Bill doesn't make a lot of new friends because since the whole fame thing, he has trouble trusting people--and Bill, by nature, is a caretaker. He's extremely nurturing. He provides. He takes care of those close to him, in one way or another. But he knows his own empathic side, he knows its limits and boundaries, and one of the worst things he can do for his own well being is care about too many people. Get involved with too many people. Bill is happiest amongst his close group of friends, people he knows he can trust, people he can cook dinner for and host movie nights for and fly halfway around the world when he has a premiere.

And tiger, for her part--my girl tiger, she has zero self-preservation skills. Like, none. And Bill is fascinated by that. He's fascinated by this little fireball who not only has no idea who he is, but who subsequently really couldn't give a shit once she found out. He's enamoured with this little scrappy ball of ire who is convinced not only that she can start a bar fight with everyone in the pub, but that she can legitimately win. Bill's never seen anything like it. And once you meet tiger, she's impossible not to love. Or at least, it's impossible not to be intrigued by her, and to want to know more.

But the thing is, that firecracker personality and the massive chip on her shoulder doesn't come from nowhere--tiger's been hurt a lot. And it's because she never goes for the good guys. For as much as Bill has an empath side, tiger has the self-destructive kind where she wants to fix people. And she always goes for the dudes who will take and take and take, the dudes who play rope a dope with her heart, and who leave her shattered. Tiger gives her soul away too easily, and she takes it as a challenge when she's tossed to the side by some guy who was never worth her time anyway. She tries to prove she's worthy.

But then in comes Bill--this big, wall-eyed, kind of freaky looking dude who seems nice and kind and is moderately soft spoken. And when they hang out, Bill starts showing a genuine interest--platonically, of course--but it's genuine. He asks what she does for a living. He asks if she likes it. He wants to know where she went to school, what she studied. Does she have any siblings? Because he has a lot, and he knows how tough big families can make you. When tiger can't decide if she wants the chilli fries or the chicken wings one night at a pub, Bill tells her to get both--and that's when she knew they'd be friends.

And it slowly but surely escalated from there--still all platonic at the beginning--but suddenly, Bill was asking her how she was getting home, if she needed a ride. He was asking her how her week was, when everyone got together on Friday--and if she had mentioned something big previously, a meeting or a presentation or something--he'd remember, and ask her how it went. If he left the bar early, he'd politely ask her if she could text him when she got home.

"Why?" she scoffed.

"Because somebody needs to look out for you," he answered honestly. Tiger, in true fashion, balked awkwardly.

And this is where her defence mechanism started to fly up. Because when you're not used to being cared for, when you're not used to genuinely mattering to someone or hell even just getting the attention of a truly good person--it's weird. It's awkward. It's scary as hell and requires a level of vulnerability that tiger isn't ready to let exist--because it would mean that she would have to admit to herself that she is worthy. That this is the norm, and that she deserves this. That she knowingly let herself settle for being treated like shit for so many years.

And tiger's first defence is always anger. So maybe she started getting real snippy with him, probably well into their friendship by this point--so Bill was cooking for her, and if he wasn’t then he was checking in to make sure she ate at least one vegetable that day. If she had a date, he would wait until she texted him that she was in for the night--whether that was at the guy’s place or hers. If she needed a ride home in the morning then he would pick her up, in all of her walk of shame glory--but he’d pick her up with a few Advil, some big sunglasses, a huge coffee. And he would absolutely make fun of her nefarious, ill-fated decisions but he’d always wait at least 12 hours before he dared.

But to go even further--you are absolutely right. Bill does put her first. Once she is solidified as his best friend, then there’s no going back--she comes first. And part of it is Bill really is legitimately concerned because tiger has no self preservation skills and he worries that if HE doesn’t concern himself over her, then tiger will just like...her reckless decisions will be her undoing. He must look after Little Human, because Little Human’s self-destructive streak is far too prevalent. He has left dates in the dust when she needed his help. He looks out for her in group settings, and intervenes if some idiot is getting too handsy with her. If he has a boys night that night but tiger calls crying because some idiot broke her heart, or crying because it’s shark week and she’s out of gummy bears--then Bill is there. In a heartbeat, he’s there. She comes first.

And I’ll bet it’s all very nice, but it also kind of has tiger seething. Because she’s not used to this kind of...care. The genuineness of it. And tiger can’t be vulnerable enough to admit that part of her likes it, part of her feels safe knowing that even in the wee hours of the morning, Bill is awake and waiting for her to let him know she got in safely. Part of her kind of likes this idea that someone is thinking of her, that someone prioritizes her. But it’s still tiger, so she also gets hella mad. And she seethes--for a long time, she seethes. Quietly. And then maybe it all just comes to a head one night when she goes over to Bill’s place after work and he has a crisp glass of white wine waiting for her, a change of clothes, even her favourite make up remover--the kind that doesn’t sting, because she has sensitive skin. And all of that pisses her off, but then she walks into the kitchen as he’s deftly cleaning and slicing mushrooms.

“How did it go?” he asks casually. Tiger plays dumb.

“How did what go?” she swigs her wine.

“The meeting with your boss today.”

“...Fine,” she mumbles, petulantly. Of course he’d remember that, even though she told him two weeks ago. 

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he offers kindly. Tiger sees an errant pile of green onions on his chopping board, and she eyes them wearily but somewhat triumphantly. Bill heads to the fridge, pulls out a bowl of salad, then he tosses the green onions in. Perfect, she thinks, and it gives her a weird sense of satisfaction. Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Considerate, doesn’t even remember what she considers to be the most significant thing about her. That she hates green onions. She feels triumphant, renewed. Somewhat weirdly comforted to confirm that perhaps she doesn’t mean that much to him.

Until he heads back to the fridge, and pulls out another bowl of salad--one that he promptly dresses, salts and peppers, and tosses. One without green onions. One for her.

“Why do you do that?!” she explodes. Bill jumps in surprise.

“Do what?” he asks innocently, “This one has no green onions!”

“Exactly,” she continues, “Ugh, Bill. Just...why do you always...ugh, Bill!”

Bill is stunned, still holding his bowl of salad, trying to figure out what exactly is happening here.

“It’s too much,” tiger says, slamming her wine down, “All of it is too much.”

“What’s too much?”

“You! This. Why do you always just....think of everything?” she says, and she’s steadfastly working herself into a tizzy.

“Tiger...”

“How? How do you remember these things? How do you fucking remember that I had a meeting with my boss today, a meeting that I told you about two weeks ago? Why do you make a whole other bowl of salad for me, why do you remember that I hate green onions?”

“Because I care about you kid,” he shrugs.

Tiger is angry, but she’s also at a loss for words. Bill’s genuineness, his honesty, will do that. For as much as she struggles to be vulnerable. Bill shows that side of himself openly. She doesn’t even know why she’s so angry. Bill watches her for a minute, but she’s kind of just bug-eyed so he goes back to his cutting board and starts calmly chopping his little mushrooms again.

“I don’t like it,” she mutters after a long pause.

“Too bad,” he shrugs non-chalantly. Tiger glares at him.

“Too bad?” she seethes.

“Too bad,” he repeats.

“Stop it,” she says.

“No.”

“Bill, I mean it. Stop always trying to--”

“No.”

“I’m not finished,” she stamps her foot, “Stop being such--”

“No.” he says again, “Tiger, this is what I do.This is how I am. I care about the people that matter to me.”

“Well I don’t ma--”

“Yes you do. You matter to me. So I suggest you put on your big girl panties, and fucking deal with it,” he says. And that’s final. Tiger is taken aback at his tone, at the way his face suddenly got serious--but then in a heartbeat, it’s relaxed again.

“Now, do you want mustard on your burger, or ketchup?” he asks. Tiger is petulantly silent, glaring at him.

“Tiger.” he warns, holding up the hamburger bun.

“Shouldn’t you already know?” she huffs in annoyance, going to the fridge and grabbing the wine. She swigs it right from the bottle as she boosts herself up on the kitchen counter. Bill goes to the fridge and grabs the mayo--her favourite--putting a thick schmear on the bun.

“God, get fucked asshole,” she mutters. Bill just grabs her face, plants a noisy kiss on her cheek as she shrieks and swats him.

[writinglionqueen]

Back Problems

The match was brutal to say the least. Actually it was putting it mildly. Drew almost limped to the back. He tried hard not to wince and look like he was in pain. You knew from experience he hated looking weak and he’d rather mask his pain than let anyone see he was hurt.

But he marched to his locker room and you followed quietly. He was unaware that you scurried after him, eyeing the reddened welts and scratches, noting the discoloration of bruises starting to form. You wanted to take care of that for him. You wanted to take care of him. 

The Scotsman was ignorant of his little shadow until he turned a bit while opening the door to his private room. His blue eyes studied you for a second, probably knowing why you had come, before he motioned you to follow with a bruised shoulder. 

And you did. 

You followed him in, shutting the door behind you as Drew was quick to change from his ring gear to some sweats. He even tried putting a t-shirt over his back but it made him wince to have the fabric touch his tender skin. You said nothing, already knowing what you’ll do for him the moment you to had the privacy of your shared hotel room. 

Slowly but surely, he changed and the two of you left the arena to be in the cozy hotel. You two made it to the room, talking about your matches for the night, which you had more to say about yours while Drew only had a few words to say about his. 

His mood wasn’t sour...you just knew he was exhausted. He wanted his sleep to rest because he knew how sore he was going to be the next few days. 

When the door to the your shared room closed behind you, you hugged the Scotsman from behind gently. He didn’t wince but he froze. He tried his best to peer behind him to figure out what you were doing. 

“Get ready for bed and lay on your stomach for me, no shirt,” you murmured to him while your fingers played with the hem of his shirt. Drew sighed. Not in a bad way but in exhaustion. 

“Princess, I’m not in the mood for sex,” he said quietly. His hand grabbed for your hand gently. 

“No sex,” you said to him. “I just want to get something for your back.” Drew let out a breath. Not disinterest but in gratitude. 

“Ok,” he murmured, his thumb running over your knuckles before he moved away to slowly do as you asked while you got ready for bed as well. You two traded for the bathroom space; while one was changing for bed, the other was utilizing the sink. 

And when he was done, Drew moved to the bed, laying on his tummy as requested with a groan of exertion. You went to the room to see how bad his back was, ready for bed right after you were done caring for his back. 

“How much does it hurt?” you asked. Drew shifted, his shoulder blades moving to test areas of his back, some of the muscles flexed as well as he moved around a bit before settling down. 

“It mostly just stings,” he answered, “while there’s only a couple spots I know will bruise a little.” You moved to the foot of the bed, digging into your bag for the lotion you usually used for when you’ve been in tough matches, one that had a cooling relief aspect to it because you knew his back needed it. For how red it was, yeah...he definitely needed it. 

When you stood you caught Drew watching you with one eye halfway open. You gave him a soft smile before moving closer to the bed. 

“I’m gonna sit on your hips if it’s ok....you’re kinda big and I want to be able to reach,” you murmured. Drew gave you a lazy smile, his open eye held a glimmer of playfulness as he peered back at you.  

“Do what you need to do,” he said back before slipping the eye closed. 

You proceeded to climb onto the bed and onto Drew, one leg thrown over the expanse of his hips so you could straddle him, giving yourself an easier position to do what you wanted to do for him. 

You put some of the lotion onto one of your hands before rubbing them together to warm it up just a bit, before placing your hands on his lower back and starting to rub strong, smooth, and slow circles up his spine. You made sure to maintain the pressure against his muscles, slowly and surely unknotting them and making the man below you relax into the bed. But the moment you touched a flowering bruise, the man under you tensed and hissed. 

“Shit....easy,” he murmured. 

“Sorry,” you apologized back, voice full of guilt. Drew hummed as he reached a hand back to pat your thigh. 

“It’s alright, Princess,” he said. He put his arm back to pillow his head on it. “Be gentle.” With a small nod to yourself, you rubbed his back again, trying your best to avoid the tender parts. 

“How does it feel?” you asked, curiously as your hands worked along his back.

“Feels good,” he answered. “I like that it feels like it’s cooling my back.” You smiled at that. 

“I have some like....ointment in my bag for the scratches if you want it,” you offered. Drew hummed again in thought. 

“I’ll take you up on that,” he said. You gave a pleasant noise as you continued to massage the lotion into his back until you felt as though it was as good as you were able to do for him. You slowly hopped off of him and moved over to your bag once more, pulling out the said ointment to use on the cuts that you could see. 

This time, you didn’t crawl on top of him this time. Most of the welting scratches were on his left side where you focused a lot of attention to. You only reached to place a bit of the ointment on the few larger scratches because you could tell it would bother the large Scotsman. 

Once you were done, you placed the closed tube on the nightstand before crawling onto the bed and laying within Drew’s arm. It took him no time to wrap it around you and pull you close. 

“Thank you for that,” he murmured to you. “I definitely needed it.” You turned to look at him, giving him a happy smile not long after. 

“I’m glad you like it,” you said to him before reaching to peck his lips which he gave a pleased noise in return. “I just wanted to take care of you.” Drew smiled at that. 

“And I’m sure, there will be a night where I return the favor,” he said. A promise. It had you smiling before cuddling up close under the Scotsman’s arm. “I’m glad I have you in my corner, Princess.” You slipped you eyes closed happily at that. 

“Glad to know you’re in mine as well,” you sighed. Drew gave a sweet, low chuckle. 

“I love you,” he said on a deep exhale. 

“And I love you,” you exchanged in return, allowing yourself to relax and feel happy on the fact you made Drew feel good by taking care of him. It made the last few moments you were awake sugary sweet with giddiness and you rode that little sugar high into unconsciousness. 

Come on....some of us would want to take care of that back...

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[ickymichi]

KNOCKOUT!

h. shinsou

warnings: swearing, fighting, vulgar talk, slight toxic behaviour.

things to know: underground fighter au, no quirk au! shinsous kinda ooc ig

word count: 1.5k

note: didn’t know how to end this as per. but was originally gonna be a lyric fic but then i said no. also pls do not be afraid to send on anything about this shinsou cause he’s currently clouding the membrane! reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

underground fighter!shinsou who came home 3 hours after his fight supposedly ended. unfortunately you couldn’t attend this one as you had your own work shift overlapping the fight times. you stayed up until the devils hour waiting for the tall male to trudge through the door, his usual large duffle bag either full of winning money or spare clothes slung over his shoulder.

“where were you?” one the bag hit the floor you spoke first, leaning against the wall while watching him toe off his air force. “what dya’ mean? i was at a match, you know that” he grumbled with a slight roll of his eyes and walked past you to the stuffy kitchen—silently noting another small hole in the wall—. “yeah i know that,” you said with a ‘duh’ tone, “but that ended three hours ago. where have you been in that time.”

shrugging his shoulders he finished off his water and lent on his elbows against the counter. “at the bar with the guys, what? i cant celebrate a win anymore? jesus” you looked at him like he told you he’d just grown an arm and three legs. “so you just didn’t think of inviting me, but every other bitch you kno-” “you were at fuckin’ work, i’m hardly gonna ask when i know the answer.”

again he rolled his eyes to the man above while lifting his hoodie over his frame and into the washing machine leaving him in his white wife beater, finally making his way out to the balcony while pulling a cigarette from the box in his pocket. “you know i finished just after the match was over, you couldn’t of just asked? was it to hard?” hitoshi blew the smoke in your opposite direction and looked towards you. “i cant have one night with my friends without you you attached to my hip all night huh? christ i’ll invite you next time if it annoys you that much woman” “so you think i’m clingy?” you scoffed with your arms crossed over your chest. hitoshi dryly laughed and looked down to the dark streets, people yelling and some coming home from night clubs and bars alike.

“maybe sometimes i think i do (y/n), listen to yourself right now.” your lips fell into a thin line at his comment, making you sigh and push yourself off the railing. “fuck you shinsou” you heard him kiss his teeth and turn to follow you through the narrow halls. “so i’m the bad guy again? all i said was that i didn’t want you hanging off my hip,” hitoshi went to follow you into the bedroom but was met with the door slammed in his face. “(y/n) baby please, c’mon i’m sorry i didn’t mean it in that way okay? just open the door please,” he waited another few seconds before hearing you shuffle then swing the door to show your glossy eyes. “one more chance hitoshi, one more and i swear if you pull shit like this i’m gone”

The bright lights, constant shouting, stuffy crowds and the smell of blood was something you grew accustomed to over the past year and a half. Thankfully, you didn’t have to get lumped into the huge crowd, being shinsous partner you you a seat at the ringside beside his trainers.

Tonight he was up against a rather tough opponent, one who played as dirty as the sport itself. And Hitoshi was feeling the effects of his foul play by the third round. His chest heaving, the hard muscles covered in sweat and a mix between his own and the other guys blood. You could already see that he would have a black eye and bruises along his cheek, aswell as a busted eyebrow.

Even with all his current injuries, it wasn’t like the fighter opposite him wasn’t feeling it either. Anyone could see he was just as tired as Shinsou, a limp in his step showing a particular hit to the stomach had him doubling.

“keep going ‘toshi one more hit and he’s out!” your lilac haired lover perked up slightly at the sound of your encouragement, brining his tape wrapped hands back up from his side, flexing them to feel the hard guard on his knuckles press against his skin. “oh? That your own little supporter?” the tan male taunted at shinsou, making him raise an eyebrow for a split second until he realised what the comment meant.

“yeah? What of it?”

“she looks like she’s taste real nice, bet she does huh? Probably wouldn’t put up much of a fight if I tried to get a taste myself” Hitoshi felt his blood boil at his words. “fuck off and just focus on what’s infront of you jackass” he chuckled darkly at Shinsou’s words and let a lopsided grin take over his beat up face. “ah c’mon sh must be sweet as if your gettin’ all tough. c’mon just once taste of that little kitty ca-”

Shinsou didn’t let him finish his vulgur sentence before he brought his leg up aiming his shin to kick into his unprotected rib cage. The minute his opponent hit the floor Hitoshi was on top him landing punch after punch to his face. “He’s out Shinsou! He’s out!” both his trainers lept up into the ring to pull him off the man who was now out cold. As they held him back Shinsou spat down onto the other fighter before raising a fist in the air.

—

“you did so good out there ‘toshi. ‘m really proud” you leant more into his side seaking the warmth you needed as you walked through the dark city streets. Hitoshi winced slightly as you pressed against a growing bruise, but of course he wasn’t going to tell you to get off him so he kept quiet. “thanks babe. did it all for you of course” he said the end of his sentence in a playful tone while pressing a kiss to your cheek. Knowing that the both of you find those lovey dovey parts of relationships too funny to take serious.

“how ‘bout we go celebrate in the bar, we can go alone or meet up with the others.” You hummed as an indication that you were thinking of an answer to five before letting a teasing grin grace your features. “we can do that, but I kinda wanna take my winnings first.”

He didn’t know exactly what you meant until you were leading him to the darker alley at the side of the path, falling against the cold brick. His eyes trained your face for until you brought your hands to his bruised cheek to pull him down, meeting his split lip halfway.

Hitoshi only pulled away until he felt his lungs beg for air. Once he did he took your smaller face in his large hands, holding you as if you were a fragile piece of fine china. Looking at you as if you were an angel sent from above for his viewing. He felt his chest tighten as you brought your hands to rest over his own, careful of the cuts and bruises along his knuckles.

“fuck, I fucking love you so much baby. Wont let anyone say shit or do anything to you. promise” he whispers as he brought his lips back to your own. Nearly Going against your claims of ‘hating the lovey dovey shit of relationships.”

“You ever think of quitting all this?”

Your voice was just above a whisper. Taking your boyfriend out of a slight trance he was in. “uh yeah sometimes I guess, why?” you shrugged at his question, really because you didn’t want an argument to start up. You know shit would hit the fan if you told him that you hated his job, how you hate that nearly every night you have to clean his beat up face in your cramped bathroom. You know he’d argue that it’s the only way to get money. Your job barely scraping the monthly rent if it wasn’t for his.

“i know what your thinking, and I can’t just quit because you don’t like seeing me with a few cuts and bruises” he laughed slightly at the soft pout now on your lips, letting his hands fall on your hips to rub against the exposed skin. “but sometimes it’s not just cuts and bruises hitoshi. Like 2 weeks you nearly broke two ribs for gods sake.” “yeah, but i didn’t. so I don’t see why your all mad about it. it’s not like I haven’t been taking beatings all my life anyway, what’s some weaklings that are only trying to make quick money.”

You couldn’t really argue with his point, and again, you weren’t going to because you didn’t feel like going to sleep in an empty bed. “isn’t that what your doing?” playfully, he slapped your ass and narrowed his eyes. “hey, i’m not some weakling. You see these guys?” you gave a noise of affirmation as you reached up to feel his bicep. “okay big guy calm it while I kiss your boo boos better.”

[honeytea8]

✨✨La Squadra Boyfriend Headcanons✨✨

[Alexa, play Boyfriend by Big Time Rush]

Guys, I spend an ungodly amount of time thinking about La Squadra, so here are some bf headcanons for the sexiest group of assassins in Naples. No one asked but I am bringing it straight to your dash anyway! (under the cut for length lmao)

I’m going to start with Prosciutto, who has recently fallen on my radar pretty heavy! 

He’s a good and decent boyfriend, if not a busy one. Not that he doesn’t care about the relationship, but most of his energy was going to Passione things before you waltzed in and so he’ll struggle a bit between his work responsibilities and maintaining his relationship with you, but only in the beginning. 

If you are also a part of Passione, it’s a hell of a lot easier to manage. 

I see Prosciutto as the gift-giving type: lingerie, sweets, perfume, designers, etc. His salary isn’t the best, but he manages it as well as he can just to accommodate you! 

I just can’t get the idea out of my head that Pro was raised by a strict mama, that’s why he can be a bit of a stickler sometimes. He’ll catch you still lounging in bed at nine am, and be like “Why are you still in bed? Get dressed, we’re going out.” Dude!

I’m sorry to say, but Prosciutto is absolutely the ‘lecturing’ type. (He lectured someone in nearly every scene in the anime, Formaggio once and Pesci numerously and Bucci too) 

He will lecture you when you make mistakes, especially because as his s/o, he has high expectations for you and believes you’re capable of so much more. It’s never, ever out of hate. He loves you, and that’s why he chides you a bit lol. 

This does not negate the fact that he doesn't mind when you lean on him for support. He likes when you count on him, because he always comes through especially for you!

Depending on whether you’re in the mafia or not, I totally see him sparring with you, or working out with you in an effort to make you tough. Prosciutto wants you to be able to defend yourself, just in case. If you complain, he’ll tell you, “Better safe than sorry, tesoro”.

Prosciutto will respect you, period.

A good listener, goddamn! He’s up there with Risotto when it comes to who listens to their s/o more! If you have an issue, he’ll hear you out and offer advice if you want it. If you give him advice, he’ll take it into serious consideration. He’s honestly a good partner, can’t stress that enough.

Finally, sex with Pro is an entire event. Romantic dinner, candles lit, wine, the whole nine yards before he gives you nine inches of something else :) (I’m kidding!! Lmao, kinda). 

But as I said, Prosciutto is quite deliberate, and a bit of a perfectionist. He knows what to do and how to do it, you can trust him.

Ghiaccio is next only because he’s my favorite. 

The ice gremlin is probably the most interesting (and hilarious) boyfriend out of the bunch (I say this with only a tidbit of bias). He isn’t funny himself, but funny shit just happens to him. 

Because of this, he will use you as a soundboard when everyone else refuses to listen to him. He’s got a lot to say, so be prepared for his TEDtalks. LMAO!

It will take some perception on your part to notice when he actually expects a response from you, and other times he’s just ranting to get his point out. 

He will correct your grammar when you text, but barely notices when he makes a similar mistake (his brain moves in mph). Please use the proper names like Venezia, Italia, Roma and Napoli when talking to this man; save yourself from the headache.

When it comes to dates, please have mercy on him, he’s a textbook over-thinker! You’ll just have to plan something simple at home for you both to enjoy. 

He isn’t incapable of planning dates, but he’ll want everything to be so absolutely perfect for his s/o and will throw a fit when it ultimately isn’t. 

Contrary to popular belief, I think that Ghiaccio is a pretty attentive partner. He’s super intelligent and I think a part of it stems from his innate ability to read people (I’m referencing the part in the anime where he deduced what Giorno and Mista had come to look for, while going off very little information). 

The more time he spends with you, the better he gets at it. 

His form of affection will be shown through the amount of time you both spend together. When it comes to sex or anything related to that, be gentle and slow as Ghiaccio will likely be a flustered mess. 

As he becomes more comfortable and confident, he will be bolder and just ask out right if you’ll suck him off tonight or not. The man appreciates directness, so don’t bother being coy. “You want me to give you head? Cool, lay down a towel or something.” is what he’ll probably say.

Very practical 👌🏾👌🏾

Melone, good lord, he’s kind of perfect. 

A bit of a doting boyfriend here and there—very much concerned about your health. Expect him to ask if you’ve eaten, or taken your multivitamin. How are your bowel movements?  LMAO

It can become a bit much, but he really genuinely cares. He’s not asking to be intrusive or nasty! If he was, you’d know. 🤣

But I seriously consider Melone to be the one (at least among La Squadra) who is way, way invested in his relationships. He will know every little detail about you; will ask you lots of questions and expects you to ask him just as many. 

This may be annoying to some, but this dude will definitely bring up your horoscope in an argument. He’ll be like “I honestly can’t fathom why you’re being this way, though it’s to be expected from a libra.” 

Peg this bitch so he can shut up.  

Melone is also touchy as hell, but not in a clingy way. He loves touching, and just to tag onto the headcanon about his partial blindness, I want to say that he’s so touchy because that’s how he ‘sees’ you best.

Just know that half the time, he isn’t touching you to be lecherous, even if he genuinely does like the feel of your skin under his fingertips. Melone will even encourage you to touch him back. 

Rub his thigh or back and he’ll be simping.

He is obsessed with your legs, and will paint your toes if you let him. 

LOVES PDA! Melone will also tongue-kiss you in public if you let him!

Notice how I keep saying ‘if you let him’. Give him an inch and he’ll press you for a mile, so if there are boundaries you would like to establish, please do, cuz he sure as hell won’t, just saying!

When it comes to sex, Melone is a dick and coochie sensei. Oral is his favorite thing to do, probably enjoys giving more than receiving to be honest. I’d say he’s pretty much mastered sex for what it is. 

That being said, if he’s ever talking out of his neck, just invite him to put his mouth to better use. He’ll even thank you for your gracious request.

Formaggio is next 💀 

According to my JoJo compatriots from discord, he’s like the Optimus Prime of fuckboi’s so let’s ride that wave for a bit! LMAO

I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that Formaggio is pretty shameless. He will send you a dick pic on Sunday morning before church and have the audacity to say “Just wanted to bless you real quick”. 

@autumn-kouhai mentioned him giving his s/o sickly sweet pet names and I just have to agree. 

Expect to be hit upside the head with: baby-boo, sugar plum, honey bunches, sweetums. I can imagine them becoming really ridiculous too like “the last piece of red velvet cake” or “cheddar bae biscuits from Red Lobster”

His catch phrase is “Got nudes?”

Send them, and he won’t be afraid to reply with something equally sexy. 

Be warned though, he will stockpile whatever you send him and then be careless with his phone. If you don’t mind Illuso’s snoopy ass seeing your nudes then by all means, have at it. Otherwise, send them through snapchat, so they disappear later. 

As far as La Squadra boyfriends go, he’s the most fun! Y’all don’t even go anywhere because man’s is broke. BUT, Formaggio knows how to have a good time without any need to spend money (my kind of dude tbh) you guys just crank up the tunes, dance, and get lit until the neighbors complain. 

Formi is also the CEO of jokes/memes, and will have you in absolute tears almost always! I literally tell my friends that funny guys are so dangerous, don’t sleep on them! They will make you laugh until your panties drop, it’s magic, I swear. Formaggio has that same energy. 

No matter how bad of a day his s/o is having, rest assured, he will draw the biggest laugh out of you.

Besides his fuckboi tendencies, his most redeeming quality is the fact that he’s super cool and fun to hang with. You’ll literally have a good time, always, because his energy is right! Very good vibes around this man, I swear! It’ll be exactly like dating your best friend, because essentially, he will be your bestie.

Formi has many moments of tenderness that aren’t sexually charged too—moments where the jokes stop and he’ll just rub your back or feet, this is usually when you aren’t feeling well and need some quiet. 

However, Formaggio won’t let you mope all day, he’ll pull out the big guns and call you his “sweetie baby” and when you try to resist he’ll say “What, I’m just tryna show you some love.”

He’s a good dude lmao I’d date a guy like him irl 😭

Pesci stans wya??! Let’s get into this baby boy. 

Pesci is boyfriend material, idgaf what anyone says. 

He is pretty much the least problematic to be with among all of La Squadra, even more so than Risotto (don’t argue with me). 

Pesci is hyper aware of your likes and dislikes and will literally go out of his way to make sure that you’re well and okay. 

Arguments are basically nonexistent and if they occur it ain’t coming from his side. 

I also think that Pesci has a lot of empathy, so when you’re going through something, he’s right there in the thick of it with you. If you’ve seen that meme that goes ‘when my gf is on her period it’s UterUS’ lmao that’s Pesci’s energy 100%. 

Sometimes, he’s more of a lover and not a fight, that is perfectly okay!

However, if someone tries up his s/o, say farewell to Mr. Niceguy. He will defend your honor to his dying breath. And with you in his corner, trust me, he’s not going down. 

A romantic at heart, Pesci will plan little date trips like picnics in the park or boat trips to Capri, actually, I’d like to point out that he excels in the art of date planning. If you’re the adventurous type, he’ll plan outings where you both will be more active, like biking through the city or renting a mop-ed and going sight-seeing. 

Because Pesci has a sensitive stomach, he’s very much considerate of what you both put in your bodies. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, this guy knows all about it and will cater to you perfectly. 

A true gentleman through and through, he will never force himself on you, ever. In fact, he really doesn’t like engaging in anything sexual when you’re drunk or high, sorry if you’re into that! 

Pesci is the kind of guy who keeps up with your favorite shows.

If ya’ll have similar taste in media or literature, he will immerse himself in it so that he can relate to you all the more.

If there’s anyone who will entertain anime-related discourse, no matter how nonsensical, it’s Pesci. And he isn’t just putting up with it, he’s actively engaging in the conversation so you are always heard and validated. 

He’s an A+ boyfriend, that’s all I gotta say! Haters can stay mad :)

Goddamn Illuso... idk man.

I really feel like you have to have thick/tough skin to handle this guy, for various reasons. 

The first being that Illuso can be a bit mean at first. He’ll push your buttons on purpose just to see what’ll make you tick. Will tease the living heck out of you, always, kind of a bully lmao but not to the extreme, it’s just his brand of humor—and the thing is, he won’t be mad when you dish it right back, so it’s cool. 

Secondly, Illuso has big dick energy!! 

I mean rightfully so, because he is indeed packing! But my word, he ain’t humble about it at all! 

He is not above making jokes about ‘splitting you in half’. In fact all of his jokes have hidden, dirty undertones! 

His affection is shown through speech mostly. Illuso will drop subtle innuendos and provocations, half to see you flustered and half because he wants you to know how much he wants you. 

Illuso isn’t incredibly vocal about his feelings outside of ‘I’m tryna hit that thang’ but you won’t doubt that he loves you because Illuso doesn’t waste his own time. 

If he’s spending his time with you, you can rest assured that it’s because he wants to. 

Illuso is a voyeur and you’ll just have to understand/accept that and move on. 

He loves watching you and will even creep over to your place through the mirror world just to hang or watch you do chores. Loves to surprise you and give you jump scares lmao it’ll make you a tad paranoid but it’s also fun. 

Illuso is prone to random bouts of sweetness; it’s very sporadic, very touch-and-go. 

One day, you’ll wake up to chocolates on your dresser or new shoes, lingerie, or makeup if you wear it. I imagine that if you’re low on funds, he will even help you buy your groceries that week. 

It’ll surprise the hell out of you, but that’s just how Illuso is. He enjoys keeping you on your toes! 

He’s prideful and smug as hell, so he will definitely expect a thank you, because even if he does it out of the kindness in his heart, he also wants to hear that you appreciate him

Same goes for the bedroom scene. Illuso loves making you vocal, it’s his favorite thing in the world, so he’ll make a game out of doing the things that get the biggest reaction out of you. Like I said, it's that big dick energy at work here, smh.

Sorbet and Gelato in a polyamorous relationship with you? Let’s get it! 

We don’t get anything substantial about these two except that Sorbet follows the money, so these are all personal headcanons for how I see and write them. 

Here’s the juice: when it comes to you as their s/o, these two are possessive as hell. You are theirs and that’s that on that! 😭 Don’t ask questions, just go with it.

Sorbet is the chill one of the duo. He can be a bit smug at times, but he’s mostly a laid back dude who doesn’t get bothered by much.

When it comes to you, Sorbet likes to spend quality time with you more than anything, and will ask you to cook for him at your place so he ain’t gotta spend money. Oh? Did I not mention that I kinda think of him as a cheapskate? Lmao cuz I do.

Sorbet will come by your place just to steal your coupons from the mail then head out; you’re not using ‘em so why should he let them go to waste?

Gelato is the complete opposite; personality wise, I headcanon him as a mix between Melone and Formaggio lmao

But it’s not as crazy as it sounds, he’s cute and outspoken like Melone, while maintaining a free-spirit like Formaggio. One quality that I like is that he’s quite devoted to you and Sorbet. If anyone crosses either of you, goodluck to them!

I like to think Gelato’s also just really boujee and high maintenance. He loves to pamper and be pampered. You and him tag-team Sorbet’s wallet and go on spa dates together at his expense (not that he ever really stood a chance)

While Sorbet is cool with just being in the same room as you, Gelato loves hugging/cuddling with you and Sorbet—will definitely fight for the middle spot between the two of you on the couch during movie nights.

He baby, so let him have it lol

In the bedroom, I would salute anyone with the guts to take the two of them on. They both lay down that work, period. 

Sorbet gets his kicks from teasing and edging you (his sadistic side comes out a bit), while Gelato loves when you give him extra TLC. To put it short, they know how to take care of you, so there are no issues there. 

Last but not least, Mr. Risotto Nero himself.

Man, idc on the lowest of keys, he seems a little bit like a grandpa to me

The type to sit at home and do crosswords, has a bird feeder in his yard and plays old Italian hits while washing the dishes. It’s very domestic 💀 (I find it cute, whatever!)

As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine him suddenly being spontaneous or outgoing unless you drag him out of his home/comfort zone.

Be patient with Mr. Nero, and he can come to surprise you

After a while, it won’t be just you dragging him out and about; one day he’ll ask you to come over and you’ll be greeted with a nice, traditional, homemade meal

Pay attention and you will notice him watching your face to see if you like his cooking 🥺

After seeing his fight with Doppio, I must admit that Risotto is very, very observant, almost scarily so.

I can totally picture him pointing out random things about his s/o that even they don’t know

One night, Risotto may come up to you and say “I talked to your neighbor about the dog, they’ll keep it inside now.” And you’re just staring like 😳 how did he know the barking was keeping you up at night????

He’s sweet, and will take good care of you as a boyfriend should.

Very good listener, won’t talk as much but will hang on to your every word, I promise. He could even recite it to you verbatim.

He’s a big dude, that ain’t news, so expect to be swallowed up in hugs and sometimes even picked up (as a tall girl myself, I simp!!!)

Gives A1 piggyback rides, lol

ALSO RISOTTO IS HUMBLE ASF!

Big dick energy, but on low volume 👏🏾 after all, he doesn’t need to do much talking, because a night with him is more than enough!

Listen babe, you better stretch, do some squats, and prep in whatever way you can before Mr. Nero gives you that work. 🤐

Lowkey a freak, but it’s well hidden behind his ‘quiet giant’ exterior

So, who are y'all dating? Personally, I’m going for Formaggio and Pesci hehe