#I feel so lucky to have this suit ugh

[the-slytherin-poet]

Fucking hell he’s so handsome 🤤

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that

[timedhoney]

Giving wonwoo hickeys would change my life. Straddling that tiny waist, leaning down as you bury your face into his warm neck. You watch as he squirms against you when your eyelashes brush along his blushed skin.

“Hi,” you murmur smoothly into his ear, just to feel his breath hitch in that gorgeous chest of his.

"Hi," he responds and you selfishly have to kiss those plump lips before you get back to the task at hand. Ok, maybe you have to slide in a little tongue too. You're not perfect. You love feeling how he reacts beneath you, love to feel how those large hands grip deeply into your thighs when you suck his bottom lip into your mouth. You know it drives him wild, and you wiggle your hips in satisfaction against the tent growing in his jeans.

God, what a man. How he manages to make an outfit with no more than a white shirt and pants have you to the point of drooling all over him, you have no idea. But when he walked into the door of your apartment, you immediately had to shove him onto your couch, pull his zipper halfway down, and then throw your legs over his. He looks picturesque in the way you've strewn him about, hair ruffled and jeans sliding down just enough to show a hit of muscle that makes you feel unholy things.

All that can wait though, because the spot just behind his ear is calling to you. You press your mouth there first before losing control and taking the tiniest nip just to watch the color flood up from his chest to his cheeks. What a beautiful gradient.

"You make it too easy, you know?" You say, smiling down at him as he brushes a piece of hair behind your ear, still flushed that cherry red. "One little bite and your'e going to act like this?" He nods shockingly fast, tipping his glasses down his nose with the action. You press them back up with your own nose, winking as you turn back to where you were. No distractions this time.

The noises that leave him always make it worth it. You take no prisoners when you pull at his skin, leaving obscene pops in your wake. You alternate between bites and licks, sucking and nipping. Only once you find the spot that creates the most delicious moan do you stop journeying, pressing your hips tightly into his. Feeling the heat start to radiate further off of him. Tasting the salt off his skin. Letting him writhe against you as you smile into the bite.

You look beneath you to admire your work.

"You're so lucky that I make pretty hickeys," you tell him smugly. And it's true, but maybe it's just that everything suits him. Beautiful blooms in varying shades of red and purple litter the left side of his neck. He groans as he slaps a hand over it.

"Ugh, did you have to go asymmetrical? It's going to be impossible to cover the one behind my ear with a turtleneck...." You laugh as you finally finish pulling down his zipper.

"I know you can't be mad when I just heard how you were behaving." He flips you onto your back on the couch and lifts up your shirt, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra.

"Mine are going to be prettier than yours," is his only reply as he leans down to leave open mouthed kisses to your tits before he begins rival your bruises with his own.

"I love when you get competitive," you sigh dreamily.

[pomefioredove]

If the flirtatious lines event is still happening, I do have a little request, and this is absolutely not forced!

Could you do “You’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?” With Leona x reader? Here’s a little twist, though; The reader is the one saying that to Leona! I absolutely adore the idea of Leona being super shy when in love, seeing normally tough characters be out-of-character when they have a crush is ADORABLE to me! Plus, I don’t see enough of reader being the teasing one in Leona x reader fics.

Thank you for listening, have a lovely day/night!

ooh this makes SO much sense though, I see your vision!!

summary: "you’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?" type of post: short fic characters: leona additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, probably really ooc idk

It's not the first time you've run into him, and it won't be the last.

It was annoying at first; your clumsiness, and that perpetual look of confusion and awe in your eyes...

You didn't belong here.

That was the first thing Leona thought about you.

Your good nature, the way you stupidly stumbled into trouble time and time again, even that look on your face; you'd make an easy meal for any predator.

And, as luck would have it, that would be him.

Though he certainly doesn't feel like the top of the food chain now.

"Talk to them," Ruggie pesters, hovering around his boss like a fly. Leona is tempted to swat him away.

"No,"

He puts a hand on his hip. "I don't see what the big deal is. You deal with being a prince your whole life, but you get choked up at the Prefect?"

Annoying. Leona is tempted to make a rude gesture, but his social etiquette gets the best of him.

"I am not choked up, but you're going to be unless you get lost," he says in a tone far too quiet.

He's lucky that Leona is in a merciful mood today.

"Suit yourself," Ruggie shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets and heading towards the exit.

Good. Leona didn't come here to talk about the Prefect, anyway.

Of all the stupid things...

He lies back in his original position, trying to drown out the sound of your voice and get some sleep. You're here with a group, doing some potionology thing, he figures. Great.

One of your friends makes you laugh, and he feels a strange sense of jealousy.

"I'll get the poppy," you sound rather pleased with yourself.

Though, as hard as he tries, he can't seem to dislike you.

A rustle, and then another beam of sunlight hits the secluded little spot, illuminating the both of you.

"Oh!" you say, eyes wide. "Sorry, Leona. Didn't mean to disturb you."

Always so polite. He wonders if that's just for show, or if you're being genuine.

"Mhm," he hums. He can't find it within himself to tell you off. It's like he's forgotten how to speak.

And he can't look at you.

"It's not over here..." you say under your breath. You're not even doing anything and he finds you endearing. "Well... sorry again."

Ruggie's words are still fresh in his mind- the pest- and he sighs.

"Wait," Leona says, standing. "You're looking for poppy? I know where it is."

You seem to hesitate. Not a good sign. "...I don't want to trouble you..."

"It would be more rude to turn down such a generous offer," he rebuffs. That's more like it.

And, so, you follow him. It feels nice, stringing you along for once.

Leona says nothing. With anyone else, he would've made at least one comment by now- no, with anyone else, he wouldn't have offered his help in the first place.

He brings you to another part of the botanical gardens, and shows you a row of potted poppies. Crewel had the second years move them yesterday.

"Ah, here they are. Thank you!" you smile. It's almost... cute. Ugh.

He says nothing.

You collect your material, and begin the walk back with him. He can feel your eyes on him, and he can tell there's something you want to ask.

"...You don't say much,"

Great. Leona huffs. Why does he feel so hot, all of a sudden? "I just have nothing to say,"

Even he sounds unsure of what he's claiming. You raise an eyebrow, a small smile gracing your lips.

"You’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?"

And you're driving me mad, he thinks, but all he can do is grunt in response.

He feels nervous. Always so nervous around you.

Leona would never admit what those words did to him, but he didn't need to. He could feel the embarrassment on his face.

You stop at the mouth of the gardens. Your friends are waiting outside.

"Thanks again," you smile. It's genuine. He can't keep eye contact with you.

"...Sure,"

"Just, ah..." you say, looking between him and your puny first year friends as they call you over. "Let me know what I can do to repay the favor, okay?"

So naive. You're practically serving yourself on a silver platter. Like he originally thought, an easy meal for any predator.

...But, for once, that predator isn't him.

And he's actually going to have to work for this.

[tsuutarr]

Pokémon Prom: Arven

Pairing: Arven x GN! reader

Word count: 959

Content: fluff, prom

Summary: a part of my Pokémon Prom series where Pokémon characters ask you out to prom (Arven ver).

Arven can feel the moisture gather at his palms, making them a sweaty mess. He can’t help it, though–this is probably the most nervous he’s been in a while. He’s rehearsed at least a couple hundred times in front of the mirror, afraid to mess up, but the more he practices, the more he thinks he’ll mess up.

“Okay–it’s simple, just ask,” he mutters, clenching and unclenching his hands. “The worst that can happen is a rejection–”

“Is this seat taken?”

Arven’s head swivels so fast he’s pretty sure his neck is broken. “Yeah–no. I mean, no it’s not taken.”

You laugh, taking the spot next to him. “You okay, Arven?”

“Yeah.” He can feel his throat dry as his hands get clammier. “Yeah.”

Your initial smile tips downwards. “Are you sure? You–”

“Yeah!” He says it so loudly that he knows people are looking. “I’m just–ugh.” Nervous? Yeah. But it’s not like he can say that without you asking why. “Don’t mind it. I guess I slept kinda badly last night.”

“Ugh, yeah, that sucks.” Your frown eases into a smile. “But hey! No worries, I’m pretty good at home ec., so having me as your partner should help!”

Partner, Arven repeats inside his head, but says, “Yeah, guess I’ll have to count on you a little this time.”

Before you can say anything else, Mr. Saguaro enters the room, his pink shirt straining against his muscles. “Hello class,” he beams, “I hope you’re excited for today’s class. We’re going to learn how to make sweet hearts. It is a chocolate that gives Pokemon twenty HP when consumed. A fantastic way to let your Pokemon know you love them, no?”

Love, Arven thinks, before smacking his cheeks to rid himself of the thoughts.

You glance at him, whispering, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah–yeah. I’m good.” Arven pretends to give his full attention to Mr. Saguaro even though his attention is pretty firmly set on you. You look at him a bit longer, before following suit and looking at Mr. Saguaro, who has already begun to write the recipe down on the whiteboard.

“Seems pretty simple,” you note, before standing up. “I’ll get the ingredients, so stay here, okay?”

“I can–” Arven begins, but is shut up by your look. “...Okay.”

Satisfied with his answer, you stand up to get the ingredients and tools to make the sweet hearts. 

Arven watches as you leave, internally chastising himself for being so abnormal. He made you worry about him because of how oddly he was acting. Shit. Still, he can’t help but think about how sweet you are. Worried about him–he didn’t deserve it…

The thud of metal hitting the table snaps him out of his own thoughts. He looks towards you as you look down on him. “Got the stuff.”

“Thanks,” Arven responds, repositioning the cuffs of his sleeves. “Let’s get started.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you laugh, watching as Arven sets the tools out. You’d have helped, but Arven’s movements are too quick for you to interject. Instead, you glance at the board to read the instructions. “We’ve got to heat some hot water first, then put a bowl inside the pot.”

“On it.” Arven put everything in place almost robotically, showing his years and years of experience in cooking. You keep watch as he dumps the chocolate chips into the bowl, using a spoon to stir. 

“Huh. You don’t need the instructions?”

“Nah,” he responds, “I’ve done this a lot.”

“Heh.” You grin. “Your Pokemon are lucky to have you–they must be constantly well fed!”

“I’m lucky to have them,” Arven responds, tapping the spoon against the side of the bowl to get the excess chocolate off, “I was really lucky to have met you, honestly.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah–before it was just me and Mabosstiff. But now I have a full team, and I’ve got you. And the student prez and shortie too, I guess.” He mindlessly pours the chocolate batter into the heart molds, before sprinkling some berry powder on the top. His own words only begin to settle in when he realizes that you’ve been silent for a while, and he almost knocks the chocolates over. “I mean–”

“I’m grateful to you too, Arven.” You give him such a bright, earnest smile that he honestly can’t help but flush. “You’re one of the reasons why I got settled into Paldea so well, you know? Thanks for being a part of my journey.” You give a little laugh. “Maybe you’ll be willing to be a part of my next journey, too.”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Arven swallows. “Actually… speaking of adventures…”

“Hm?”

“Do you–you know. The–that is–” Arven taps the chocolate mold against the table to get rid of air bubbles. “You know.”

“Yeah?” you encourage as you melt some more chocolate over the stove.

“The dance. The one that’s coming up… I was wondering if you’d–like, do you want to go? Together? No pressure, though.”

“Oh.” You blink. “Oh!” Laughter bubbles out of you. “That’s what it was, huh?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been acting weird all class, y’know.”

“I wasn’t.”

You give him a flat look, before huffing out a laugh. “All right, fine, whatever. I’d be glad to go with you.”

Arven blinks, before his lips twitch upwards. “You mean it?”

“Of course!” you laugh. “Why wouldn’t I mean it?” 

“Yes!” he cheers, loud enough that the class looks at him. He sheepishly tacks on, “I’m so glad our sweet hearts are turning out well.”

You suppress a laugh. “Yeah, totally.”

He looks at you, before clearing his throat when your eyes meet. “...So, can I pick you up for dinner? Uh–before the dance, that is?”

You grin. “Does five work?”

He smiles back. “Five works great.”

[pey4562]

What a Liar.

Pedro Pascal x Actressf!reader

Pedro pascal x actressf!reder

(It reminds me of this song)

Disclaimer: ! This is the first thing I’ve written and probably the only one I will write lol and probably a lot of grammar issues but I tried guys 🙌 but I hope you enjoy!!

Warnings: mention of smut but nothing really happens, possibly and age gap not specified, pet names, implied relationship, good amount of Y/N, that’s really all. (feel free to let me know if there is more)

Description: you and Pedro have been dating for about a year, and never really mentioned anything to anyone yet you both always said if one was ready, the other one was ready too . You grew really close after you had an intimate scene in Narcos, and when you found out you were both casted for Tlou, you were both happy. Then Pedro decides he’s ready to announce your relationship and announces it in an interview and calls you a liar. In a jokingly way.

*********************************************************

“Ugh this dress is so itchy” you say with a frustrated tone that fills the limo you two were in. ” I can’t wait to take it off of you later.” Pedro says, with a smirky tone. You lightly punch his shoulder as a way of saying ‘oh shut up’ without even opening your mouth. He lightly chuckles under his breath and sets his hand on your thigh, using the slit of your dress to his advantage. he slowly starts rubbing your thigh to calm your nerves which were through the roof.

“I’m glad I have you on my side” you lightly lay your head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t dare be on anyone else’s side baby,” baby, you loved it when he called you that. It made your heart do backflips.

Sometimes you were surprised that not everyone knew about you and Pedro’s relationship. He would always post pictures with you, call you sweet names, and you guys were obviously very close, but many people didn’t think much about it because Pedro was just a sweet guy. But obviously there were people that made ‘ship edits’ of you two and you adored seeing them, then there were the jealous people sending you mean messages just because you were close with Pedro and they weren’t, but who could blame them, you got so lucky.

“You alright hun?” His low voice brings you back to you’re consciousness. “Oh yeah, I just got lost in thought” you replied then your eyes locked on his. He was giving you those perfect puppy eyes that put you into a comma if you looked for to long. He looked worried “thinking about what” he adds on. “How lucky I am to have you, that’s all” you look at him with your doe eyes, on purpose because you knew how much he loved that. “If anyone is lucky it is me sweetheart, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on.” After that you could no longer keep eye contact with him, you were the first to crack you always were, and he loved that he had that dominance over you. Even though you have been together for a year you still blush around him like a high school crush.

The limo stopped. You made it, to the premier of ‘The Last Of Us’. He got out first, everyone was cheering extremely loud, then he opened the door for you. He put his hand out for you to grab to help you get out of the limo. Everyone saw you guys matching, Pedro with a long black sparkly coat and suit, then you with a long slim black sparkly dress. Everyone loved it, especially Pedro. You two hooked arms and walked down the carpet to get inside and filled out autographs as you went through. Once you were inside interviewers were flooding you with questions you tried to answer as many as you could. You looked around and saw Pedro was a few feet away still taking pictures and writing autographs. “Y/N!!, Y/N!” Interviewers are calling you over and over. The first few were just asking you questions about the show, then you got to one of the last ones. “Hello Y/N, everybody is wondering, what is your relationship with Pedro! Ever since THE scene from ‘Narcos’you guys seem to be extremely close. What’s going on!?” The woman asks, you really have to think about your response but it comes to you instantly. “Oh me and Pedro are just friends, he’s actually my best friend and one of my favorite people, but when we found out we were both casted for Tlou we were super excited,” you say then take a small sigh of relief for covering it up so well. “Thank you for your time Y/N” then you head on to the next few interviewers.

“Pedro!! Pedro!!” The same interviewer is calling Pedro,

“Everybody needs to know, what’s up with you and Y/N?” She pauses as he looks puzzled what to say “Y/N said you were just friends” that really caught his attention he knew exactly what to say “Y/N said we were just friends? That little liar.” Then he walks off without saying anything else. Everyone around froze hearing that from Pedro.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ after the party ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



You hadn’t known about what Pedro had said until you got into the limo and checked social media. “Pedro? What happened?” You say puzzled “what’s the matter darling?” He asks not sure what you’re talking about “Y/N Y/L/N and Pedro Pascal dating; Confirmed.” You say genuinely confused. “Oh, I guess I kind of announced our relationship,” he says scared of how you will react. “YOU WHAT?!?” He tries to calm you “ I know baby, I’m so sorry. I just saw the perfect opportunity and I took it, I want to show the whole world that you are mine, no one else can have you. I just don’t want to hide anymore.” He says he looks down towards the ground and refuses to make eye contact with you. “I’m sorry if I came of angry I didn’t mean to I just wish you would have talked to me about it first,” you pause “I’m so excited to be public with you Pedro.” You reassure him and lift up his chin forcing him to look at you. “You’re not mad?” His face lights up. “No honey I’m not mad.” He quickly squeezes you and hugs you as tight as possible as if you were about to run away. “Babe…” you pause. “What exactly was the ‘perfect opportunity’ that you said happened” He lets go of you “that one can wait until we get home, for now let’s worry about right now” you knew that ment you wouldn’t like what he said but he was right, you should just enjoy the moment.

As you rested your head on his shoulder, your leg over his and he was rubbing your thigh. It was so soothing you fell asleep. When you woke up, you were in bed, in your pajamas, hair wrapped up and all your makeup was off, Pedro had carried you out of the limo, straight to bed and pampered you like a little puppy.

When you turned over you saw Pedro, out like a light. You hugged his nearly lifeless body and kissed the crook of his neck. You were alerted by the low growl he let out waking up to you fully bear hugging him. “Baby?” He said with his eyes still closed “I love you so much Pascal.” He knew exactly why you said that. “I love you too…” he paused “Mrs. Pascal” hearing him call you that made your stomach flip inside out 10 times. “But what did you say in that interview, sir” you said with a sassy tone “hold on miss sass, I’ll turn on the tv” He turned it on and went to YouTube. The first video that popped up was your interviews you watched it and heard him say it “that little liar.” He looked at you expecting you to be furious, but just looked over to see you laughing. “You don’t care?” He tilted his head in confusion. “No Pedro! That’s hilarious. Why would I be mad at that!” You say still lightly chuckling “I don’t know, I guess I-“ you cut him off with a kiss on his lips. Then he grabs his phone and takes a picture. “Can I post this,” he asks ever so politely. “Yes, please do,”

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.10 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover III

I can't believe we're on part 10 already 😭😭😭

| Masterlist |

"How could I? I didn't have my phone?" the girl asked slightly panicked,.

"That's because you had mine," Lando spoke up, tapping on his phone, "You logged into your account from mine," he said showing it to the girl.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?" She yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE FUCKING ROAD AND LOGAN AND ARTHUR COSPLAYED SPIDER-MAN" He yelled back.

"Okay, okay," Max put his hands up to calm the two down, sometimes they were so similar he'd want to ask if Lando had a twin separated at birth, "Lando, what did she post?"

"oh oooh, this going to be fun," the boy said, switching to the girl's profile.

its_y/n_love

liked by 21,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri

its_y/n_love me with my Pookie bears everyone say thank you Oscar for paying the Hospital bills 😍

view all 10,874 comments

usernamei SHES GIVINGGG

username she ATE

username they're her pookie bears 😭 she's so unserious I unironically stan her

username a grown woman calling grown men pookie bears 😒 username fr like oscar had to pay for HER hospital bills username he literally payed for Arthurs too but yall ain't gon say none abt that

its_y/n_love

liked by 501,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris

its_y/n_love LANDOOOOOOOOO why he always with his boy tho 🤨

view all 20,874 comments

username omg she's literally living my dream 😫

username fr god i've seen what you've done for others

username omg she's freeloading off him now too?

username give it up she literally just their friend username and even if she wasn’t why would yall treat her differently than any other wag? username look at her man she's literally using them for fame and money

"Well, that wasn't as bad," y/n shrugged.

"That's cause you didn't have your camera roll," Logan snapped back, finally feeling a little more human, the hangover easing down.

"Look who's talking," the Aussie came to y/n's defence, "You're lucky you didn't have YOUR phone," Oscar called out, making the American's face turn red.

"Damnnn Oscar!" The girl praised, colour returning to his face, all were slowly returning to normal, even Arthur had found his way back to the table. Seeing this, the two older men Max and Charles ordered for the table, while Lando, went through more of Y/n's Instagram with the group.

"Honestly, the response isn't that bad, and our PR officers won't murder us, sooo we're good," he said, smiling and logging out of her Instagram account.

"Oh my god," The Monganeseque boy spoke up after being missing for almost half an hour, " I don't think we ate last night," he said shoving the food in his mouth.

The older men expected one of the other three to corroborate the boy's words but they just witnessed four twenty-somethings guzzling down food and large glasses of OJ, lifting plates to slide food into their mouths, letting runny egg yolks and bacon grease getting over their face and hands.

"Fucking hell," Max snarled, "it's like watching animal planet or something,"

"It's disgusting is what it is," Charles agreed, "MERDE ARTHUR, MAMAN RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled at his brother who was currently dipping a rolled up pancake in orange juice.

"Oh mate that's fucking disgusting," Y/n scoffed but then followed suit.

"Both of you are insane," Logan cried out, his accent thick, but failed to notice his own disgusting plate, dipping his bacon in maple syrup.

"ugh, there is something mentally deficient with all of you," Oscar frowned.

"Big words for someone mixing coffee into their oj," Lando cringed, taking a photo of the four and their disgusting eating habits.

"I- I can't look at this, I'm leaving," Charles gave up, holding up his hands in surrender, "I have a meeting at Ferrari anyways,"

"Bye, Charles!" the table chorused.

"Oh shit, it's 11am already?" Max called, looking at his watch, "I've got debrief at noon, see you next race, yeah Y/n?" He patted the girl's shoulder as he left.

"Never, again, ever." She yelled out, behind the man, making him laugh.

"Wait really?" The American looked over, bacon in hand.

"Nah, but like I've got uni and stuff and I've been going Arthurs races as well so, I'll probably be back by Britain or Netherlands," she explained.

"Oh yeah I forgot you still go to uni," Lando said.

"Not all of are millionaires cause of our fast vroom vroom cars," she spit back.

"yeah, yeah, " he waved off, "Oscar, Zak's told me to babysit you till our flight tomorrow so you don't do something or someone," he wriggled his brows, smirking at his teammate, making him roll his eyes, "you regret, so let's go and leave that disgusting abomination here," he said pointing to the coffee-orange juice.

"Guy's I don't know about y'all but I'm going go and pass out in the room till next year," The girl said, pushing away from the table.

"Same," The two boys followed.

oooooh this was ✨✨✨ but next we have the summer break chapter 🤭

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com

[transformation4life]

A Little Too "Daddy"

It was a typical summer day after work for Joseph in his aparment. He typed away on his computer talking to his boyfriend, Carl.

Carl: Saw a really hot guy today while walkin' home today babe

Joseph: Oh yea? What body type

Carl: A total Daddy!!! Like damn... wish he was my boyfriend. Not to say you're bad but like... you know. Joseph: Haha... I see.

Carl: It's whatever anyway lol he was with his kids and clearly banged a woman.

Joseph: You can't say that for sure-

Carl: He was every stereotypical dad trope in the book bro. I know my stuff!!!

Joseph: If you say so... but like are you trying to say I should try and bulk up?

Carl: Maybe...

Joseph: Aw Carl, You know that's difficult.

Carl: Yea but imagine me calling you daddy haha

Joseph: You're lucky I love you.

Carl: Yea i know! Anyways Gotta go now. My favorite telenovela is about to start. Love you babe!

Joseph: Bye. Love you!

Joseph closed the messaging app with a sigh. He did a "bicep" flex and yup still skinny.

"Ugh. This sucks! Why can't I be what he wants?" Joseph slammed his face on his keyboard in despair.

"I should really talk to someone about this- oh wait! Joseph recalled the therapist hotline stapled onto the breakroom pinboard at his work.

"I guess I'll text it right now..." Joseph was quick to turn on his phone and with a bit of help he eventually texted the codeword to activate the automatic transfer.

Thank you so much for being here we'll get you to one of our members immediately!

"Oh great... this'll take a while hu-"

*Bling*

"oh!"

???: Hi my name is G3NI3 how can I help you, today?

Joseph: G3NI3? Did your parents hate you?

G3NI3: Nah dude it's a CODENAME. Gotta keep some sort of confidentiality

Joseph: Ah right fair enough

G3NI3: Alright so what's your name and why did you text us today?

Joseph: Joseph, and I'm here because of my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Aww did you break up?

Joseph: No... it's more... he saw a hot dad today and said "i wish he was my boyfriend"

G3NI3: Oh i see... was the dude straight?

Joseph: Yea why do you ask?

G3NI3: Just wondering... Anyways so I'm guessing the dude was like super buff and stuff? Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 20's...

G3NI3: I see I see... so what you're saying is that if you were an older "daddy" you'd be happier?

Joseph: Yea. Atleast it'd appease my boyfriend...

G3NI3: Alright then, say Joseph why don't you tell me about your life and how you met your boyfriend maybe this'll help

Joseph: Uh... sure. Okay so like... we met in highschool and we REALLY hit it off so we started dating pretty soon after and now we're here.

G3NI3: Makes sense. Though... based on your talks I feel like you'd be more bros than boyfriends

Joseph: Huh? what makes you say that?

G3NI3: Idk just got the vibe.

Joseph: How WOULD you say that you only know him as my boyfriend.

G3NI3: Yea but like for people your age, not sure i'd go randomly say "hey this man my age should be friends with me!"

Joseph: What are you talking about? My boyfriend is like 24 and the dude seemed 40.

G3NI3: Nah man, didn't you say you were both in your 40's?

Joseph: No... I said 20's

G3NI3: Pretty sure I saw 40's

Joseph: Yea well!! I can just scroll up and see!!

G3NI3: Suit yourself.

Joseph was getting furious at this "G3NIE". He 100% told them he was in his... 40's? Joseph read the text again.

"Joseph: Yea... meanwhile I'm a scrawny man in my 40's..." Joseph couldn't believe it, but then it dawned on him oh wait... he IS in his 40's haha imagine actually being in my 20's again that would be WILD.

Joseph: Sorry about that. You're right me and my boyfriend are in our 40's.

G3NI3: Told ya. Though you never told me your boyfie's name.

Joseph: Oh it's Carl. Pretty normal name.

G3NI3: Weird... I feel like he would be more a Carlito.

Joseph: Uh... What makes you say that?

G3NI3: Isn't he from Mexico?

Joseph: Uh... yea? But how did you know that?

G3NI3: Lucky guess. I mean... imagine having a mexican hottie like him as your bro.

Joseph: Not sure what you mean. We're DATING and he's skinny like me. Even though we're both in our 40's...

Joseph paused for a second. Wasn't Carlit- Carl in his 20's and skinny? but then he "remembered" the last pic his boyfriend sent him.

"Get ready to some farm work for my bonita~ What do you think?"

Wait... Bonita? Carl- No... Carlito would never call Joseph that. Not to mention his boyfriend never looked like that! Or... did he? Joseph scrambled through his memories and every memory he had of Carlito was him as jacked af Mexican man. Guess he forgot how lucky he was. The bonita bothered him but he just ignored it for now.

Joseph: Sorry nvm yea he is all that. We're dating though so we're not just "bros".

G3NI3: nah man, you seem like bros to me. Don't you remember he married Maria and got like 2 kids.

Maria??? who is- Oh right. Maria is Carlito's "Bonita" He rants about her all the time to you at your weekly bar hangouts. Joseph remembers how his two kids Mateo and Juanita would call him Uncle Joseph! Ah he loves those little rascals. Wait.. something felt off to Joseph.

Joseph: How do you know all this? Isn't this our first session?

G3NI3: What are you talking about dude? This is like our 20th one together

"W-What???" Joseph could not believe what G3NI3 was saying. This was definitely his first using the hotline. Joseph could prove it he just has to scroll up a bit and- Huh?

To Joseph's amazement, G3NI3 was right they've been talking for months. And what do you know they bring up everything about Carlito too. Guess that's that mystery solved.

Joseph: Oh man, you're right guess my age is starting to show...

G3NI3: Don't count yourself out yet old man. You have a kid to care for!

Joseph: Kid??? You must be joking I'm single and could never get a kid! I'm gay!

G3NI3: Oh come on don't be like that just cause you had a divorce with Kate doesn't mean you gotta deny being straight as an arrow or deny that kid you helped make! Joseph: Okay now you're crazy! No way I got married to a LADY. I was never into them!!

G3NI3: No need to get worked up big guy. Your son is following in your footsteps as a bodybuilder! Bodybuilder???? What kind of insanity is G3NI3 spewing now! Joseph was skinny as stick. Always has been.

Joseph: You must think I'm crazy if you want to believe I'm anything but a stick! It's a miracle Carlito even wants to hang out with a single skinny guy like me!

G3NI3: Oh don't be so shy! I know you love flexing in front of Carlito to show how you can attract the ladies! Your libido is off the charts bro.

Joseph had enough of this. He'd crush his phone with his big strong hands if he didn't have the money to replace it.

Joseph: Now listen here! I know I love a good flexing or two but I wouldn't say I have a high libido! Besides... I'm not manly enough I don't got a beard or any cool tattoos...

G3NI3: Come on, Josef! You're the manliest they come! With a luscious ginger beard and a tattoo of a cross between your tits AND one on your left arm you're peak masculinity! And you even married a WOMAN. Sure it didn't last but it's something!

Josef: You really think so? Aw shucks. Maybe if I was a faggot we could've dated... as if! The only thing I love more than muscles is a good looking women to take home and fuck silly.

G3NI3: Focus Josef. Use that bald head of yours for once and think! You came here because you didn't think Carlito doesn't want to hang out with you right?

Josef: Yes... we might've been bros since middle school but idk ever since me and the divorce with Kate it just doesn't feel like the same...

G3NI3: Puh-lease. You guys are two peas in a bro-pod. Do you really think Carlito would send you this if you weren't bros for life?

Josef: Ah I remember that! Carlito made those fags think they had a chance with him when he and Maria been fuckin' for years! Got a good laugh out of that!

Carlito: Exactly! Who would send that to a straight friend otherwise!

Josef: You're right... What did I have to worry about? Me and Carlito? We're buds for life!

Just then a knock came at the door.

"Dad! Carlito's here!" "Coming, Son!"

Josef: Welp, looks like Carlito's here. Thanks for the talk G3NI3. Always appreciate ya!

G3NI3: No problem! and remember... you asked for this

Josef: W-Wha?

G3NI3: Nothing! Bye

"And to think that's my therapist... Anyways gotta get ready for my bro!" Josef got up from his seat and left his bedroom stationed at the 2nd floor of his house. Gotta thank Kate for that child support money. But before he could enter the hallway...

"Son! I told you no underwear and caps in the house! Put some damn clothes on!"

Sorry pa, I just loveee my muscles. Do you mind if a girl comes over tonight? I think it'll work this time!"

"'Course Son. The Women will love ya! You get it from your old man!" Josef flexes to make his point clear.

"Thanks dad!" Josef's son flexes back before getting ready for his date.

"How did I get lucky enough to get a son like that?" Josef chuckled. He might not got much but at least he has son and his bro Carlito.

"Oh right! Carlito!" Josef almost forgot to get ready so he grabbed a fresh set of clothes and went to go change in the bathroom.

Before he changed Josef did one quick flex in the mirror.

"G3NI3 wasn't kidding. That libido of mine is ready to go!" Josef was proud of his physique. But now's not the time for that he has to go meet his bro.

Josef adorned his massive figure with a tank top saying "BEAST" and some killer designer shades he was ready to finally answer that door. With a strong force Josef opened the door to find the man himself, Carlito.

"Hola amigo. Have you seen that faggot Josef anywhere? Haha!"

"Oh come on Carlito, you know I'm as straight as an arrow!" Josef said back in a playful tone.

"Would you change your mind if I were to... do this?" Carlito took his shirt and removed his shades and did a flex right in front of Josef.

"...."

"..."

"..." "GAHAHAHA" The two large man laughed in unison.

"Nah bro, you're my bro forever and always." Josef smiled.

"As always mi amigo, now let's rapido we're gonna be late for our gym sess!" Carlito put his shirt and shades back on and headed for his luxury car.

As for Josef he didn't have a car as cool as Carlito but had a car from the 2000's and it was like his second child but don't tell Josef's son that. But before he got in his car Josef took a moment to feel his masculinity in the car window's reflection.

"I look damn fine."

And So Josef and Carlito went to have grand old brotime together. Working out together like true bros, hanging out at the bar like true bros, and of course trying to get Josef with a woman for the 30th time this month. You'd think they were a couple but nah they're both straight as arrows no doubt about that. Josef lived a happy life despite his circumstances and that meant more time to flex flex FLEX!

Safe to say he was a real... daddy. He's even got the kid to show for it.

[winniethewife]

But I'm gonna love you anyhow

(Nathan Bateman x F!reader)

A/N: Inspired by a Prompt by @gingersforeverbox

Words:679

“So that's the new girl that he’s dating?”

“They’ve apparently been going out in secret for months”

“She looks…” Like what a whore? A Bitch? A floozy? A Gold digger? She almost dares them to finish the sentence as they talk behind her back. “Nice.” Ugh that was worse than an insult. She could do without all these fake niceties that this kind of crowd always seems to rely on. She took the champagne flute from one of the servers with a polite smile. She sips at it and looks around for a moment, trying to spot Nathan in the crowded room. She understood the importance of going to these charity galas occasionally to keep him in good graces with the public eye, but after several months of spending all their time together out in his home in Alaska, all these people was almost overwhelming. She didn’t belong here, among the upper crust, with the press outside hoping for a glimpse, she felt out of place, even if she was perfectly dressed and styled like every other person in the room.

She finally spotted Nathan across the room, he looked nice in a suit, he was so often dressed in casual lounge wear that she had honestly been shocked that he even owned one. She watches as Nathan laughs at something the guy he was talking to said, she knew him well enough to know that was a fake laugh, the way the smile didn’t reach his eyes, it was obvious to her, but to no one else. She smiled slightly at the thought, the idea that of all the people in the room, she was the only one who truly knew him. As she watched him he eventually looked over at her, a genuine smile crosses his face. He turns to the people he was talking to and appears to dismiss himself before walking over to her.

“You look amazing Honey. How am I so lucky to have you?” He asks cheekily while wrapping an arm around her waist, she feels the nerves and irritation from the evening wash away as she feels his hand gripping her side firmly, with a gentle possession.

“I don’t know, you’re kind of an asshole, I’m not sure why I stick around.” She teases as she leans into him. He looks down at her resting her head in the crook of his arm with mock offence.

“Oh my darling why- Why would you say such a thing?” He couldn’t keep up the fake hurt tone bursting in to laughter midsentence. “No, no you’re right. I deserve that no doubt. But I will say, you make me want to be better, but only for you. Fuck the others.” He kisses the top of her head before looking out on the party. As He scans the room he holds her close, and as he holds her she can’t help but feel emotions surging in her chest, to hear something so sentimental from Nathan was unusual, but she liked it. The Judgement of the others in the room was far from her mind now, the feeling of outsiderhood vanished. She could belong anywhere as long as he was with her. She looked up into his dark brown eyes. As long as he was with her, she could be anywhere, do anything, and be anyone. The options were unlimited.

"I don’t think I want you to change. I think that's what I love about you...you're just...you." She says with a smile and a turn, her back against his chest now, his arms still around her. Nathan chuckled. He was really the luckiest guy in the room. There was so much she didn’t know about him, but she was going to love him anyhow. And that was more than he could ever hope for. He leans down to whisper in her ear.

“I’ve heard there's some oddly phallic ice sculptures in the other room…wanna check them out?” He mutters. She laughs. There’s not a thing about him that she would change.

“I would love to see that.”

~

Masterlist

Tags: @burymesanti @silvernight-m @faretheeoscar @queerponcho

[dark-and-kawaii]

oh my gosh, i can’t i’m gonna loose my mind over Gortash musty ass. He’s just so ugh, so my type, cause apparently my type sad trash. ughhhh my heart. i can’t stop imagining making out with him on the throne as his cold gauntlet pressed against me sending shivers down my spine. i would treat him good in such a sucker for losers. it’s not even funny anymore. i am so needy, i wouldn’t even let him out of the bedroom, would make him late of every appointment. make his hair even a bigger bird nest. oh my 😭… i need to touch someone this is getting out of hand. just imagine him being mean because i made him late again, ugh 😭 but he would be so kind then and then mean again. he’s playing with my heartstrings and he’s not even real, i don’t know what these bg3 men are about but they are making a girl break out in sweat.

ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ “would make him late to all his meetings”

Oh and how he wouldn’t mind this, not one bit. Those that are waiting for him can be patient while he takes care of his needy little whore~ ♡ You’re bouncing on him so well while your fingers tangle in his raven locks, damn how it feels so good. He’s so lucky to have a pretty thing like you on top of him, pleasuring yourself with his cock. His gauntlet pressing into your soft skin leaving indents. Those marks just suit you so well~ ♡

Oh but wait, today’s meeting is quite important. Can’t you hurry it up. Are you that incompetent that you can’t get yourself off quicker? Does he have to throw you off him and fuck an orgasm out of you? Maybe he’ll just use your well used hole for his own release and leave you on the floor a crying mess. Make you wait for him to return… He quite likes that thought, Awh but look at how your eyes plead for him. Maybe he’ll be nice after all.

Brain just malfunctioned, thank you anon for this image. And thank you for loving our beloved Gortash xoxo ♡

- 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒦𝒾𝓌𝒾 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜

[erwinsvow]

Ok but let’s talk about nobody being there to pick Rafe up from jail :(( my poor rafey

( i saw your reblog and I also hope it isn’t general consensus?? I think it’s so cute and so 🙁)

-💓

hi babe!!!!! wait stop. I love rafey too 😭 I think it’s so cute. but only in private like he’d get mad if you said it in public 😵‍💫id do it tho bc let’s make him mad. it’s fun. dare I say it’s my hobby

also you literally know my mind. thinking abt this idea is literally why I decided to start writing for rafe because part 2 of suit the mood of my soul would be all of that rafe drama happening and literally having to fight with ur (reader LOL) parents to go see him in jail and then picking him up. in my head you’d be driving him back home and it’s the first time you’ve ever had to drive lol and he makes you pull over so he can drive but first he destroys ur pussy in the back seat. (sorry im projecting.)

to be honest though im thinking about how hard it is. youre so depressed, literally spiraling into tears anytime you think about rafe being there alone, thinking like was this all a big lie?? did your friends really cause this?? was it not a lie, and you don’t really know rafe at all? but its also SO emotional, your parents screaming at you that you are not seeing him again and you’re like you can’t stop me. and this is the longest you’ve gone without talking to him since you met him, keep checking your phone because you think it’ll go off with a text from him. you go to visit him and are just crying the whole time. he’s in shambles because he hates seeing you cry, doesn’t realize how much he fucked up, how lucky he is that you care so much, despite all the evidence you don’t believe he did any of it. you defend him valiantly to everyone, even your friends who say you’re delusional.

then you get a call since Rafe puts down your number. you literally SPEED to get there, and hes standing out there all alone. you run into his arms, literally leaving your car on n running. ugh i would SOB he would be so happy to see you, feels so relieved even though he knows what’s just happened.

you’re his calm though, like literally you settle his mind, so he feels so much better once you’re there. after he rearranges your guts, you both get in the front again—him driving and you in the passenger seat. he doesn’t know where to take you so you both drive around. you’d be all sleepy, leaning against the window, eyes fluttering open if he accidentally breaks too hard. you catch a little of what rafe’s mumbling to himself, pieces here and there

“we’ll just get out of here, kid, just you and me. we’ll be fine. don’t need anything else but me. i’ll take care of you, i will.”

you think you should be worried, but you’re not. you trust rafe entirely. you wake up in another part of the state, your phone turned off with lots of messages from your parents, but you don’t care, you’re just happy to be with him again. 😴🫣🫠

ANYWAYS, bae, how was work? 💓

[girlboypersonthingy]

could I request a very fluffy keith x reader headcanons where they're having a bonding moment (hehe, I cradled you into my arms) because they ended up on a planet during a mission and are waiting for rescue? you don't have to do this if you don't like it of course!

HELLO YOU ARE MY FIRST REQUEST ANON AND ILYSM 🥰 yes I love love love this idea. Also, i had a hard time writing this as headcanons so I decided to write it as like a headcanon/imagine hybrid kinda thing. I hope that’s cool… sorry I’m new to writing this stuff. ALSO this turned out so long I got carried away soRRYYY. Enjoy~

Ps: plz plz plz request more. Somebody, anybody? Thnx 💋

So…y’all are stuck on a planet where the atmosphere is mostly made up of sulfur so it’s not breathable for humans like you

Keith would be pacing non stop, trying to get in contact with the team. He’s so mad his face is nearly as red as his armor.

You are much less worried, knowing that brainiac Pidge would find y’all eventually

It was supposed to be an easy mission, just responding to a distress signal. You and Keith were sent together bc you two work really well together, but when the galra swooped in, you knew it was a setup to steal the red lion.

Of course, Keith took them all out but not without red taking a couple heavy blows

Red needed to rest now that the imminent threat had been neutralized. The lion fought hard without help from the others and would not respond to either of you…and Keith was not handling it well

“C’mon red! You’re gonna give up on me now?! Ugh, you really are the most temperamental lion! You’re such a brat…”

The tense but strong chemistry between Keith and his lion was always something that intrigued you. They really were meant to be.

He eventually gives up trying to talk to red, sitting beside you on the ground.

You and Keith weren’t really close but you trained together nearly every day and you physically complimented each other very well. You always had each others back.

Besides training, you didn’t see him all that much. He likes to skip meals and take late night showers. It’s almost like he’s been avoiding you for a while now

With you around, Keith is all bite and no bark. Sure, he’ll grab and push you around while training but actually having a conversation with you??? Hell nah. Keith no likey talking.

He usually corrects the others’ form and posture and gives advice when training with the them, but not with you. Instead he gives you a lot of thumbs up and small, proud smirks.

Whenever you try to talk to him, you’re lucky if you get any words out of him. Usually, it’s just hums of agreement or head nods.

You think Keith doesn’t like you or finds you annoying with how quiet he is around you

Not having the same armor as the paladins, you were finding your suit to be too thin for the climate on this planet. You were shivering.

Keith notices this immediately but stays still, unsure of how to help you. If he had his jacket rn, he’d totally toss it at you nonchalantly

And suddenly he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you off the ground and along with him.

“Where are we going?” He doesn’t respond, just let’s your hand go but keeps walking, expecting you to follow and you do.

He glances back to check that you’re still there and notices you limping ever so slightly. You’re trying not to let him see this bc you don’t want to piss him off more than he already is.

With Keith piloting, there was no where for you to be in his lion besides standing behind his chair. As he dodged attacks from the galra, you had been thrown around a bit.

He stops walking, making you nearly crash into the back of him.

He turns to you, refusing to even look at you before he sighs loudly. You feel guilty, not wanting to burden him with taking care of you.

“You’re hurt.” “No I’m fine.” “No, you’re limping.” “It’s fine, I can keep walking.”

He turns his back to you and just stands there, hands at his sides. You’re unsure of what to do or say until he looks back at you with a straight face.

“Hop on my back.” “No, Keith. I can walk.” “Just let me carry you.” “No. I said I’m fine. Really, I-“ He cuts you off.

“God dammit, (Y/N), you’re just as stubborn as red! You’re limping and you’re shivering and you’re lying to my face about it. I can tell you need some help, IM OFFERING YOU HELP. Now let me give you a lift to some shelter or SO HELP ME-“

You’re stunned, not because he was lowkey being an ass but because he’s never said so many words to you at one time.

Keith is the epitome of “if a boy is being mean or bullying you, it’s bc he likes you”

He’s talking to you like he was when he first found the red lion and was like “it’s me…Keith. I AM YOUR P A L A D I N.”

Mf is lowkey so mean to you sometimes but he’s not trying to be mean, you just make him feel weird and tingly inside and it embarrasses him and that makes him mad. He’s mad that he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with you without sounding stupid. He’s mad at himself, not at you tho

Dude just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings

You hop up on his back, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. His hands grip the back of your knees and he trudges forward.

He carries you until he finds a small dim cave, hoping the shelter would keep you warm. He lets go of your legs without warning, making you slip off him. As you land on your feet, you hiss at the pain in your knee.

As he turns to you, you can barely see him but his face looks different now.

You can see his eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly hanging open

He never looks you in the eye and always has an annoyed and smug look on his face when you’re around. So seeing his face soften with concern and guilt for YOU made you freeze up.

“S-sorry.” He mumbles before holding out his hand to you. You’re confused like ??? What is this? What do you want me to do with this?

If there were more light in here, you’d see his face turning red as he’s stepping closer to you until you’re side by side. He slips his arm around your waist and gently lowers you to the ground.

As your butt meets the ground, you stretch out your leg and rub your knee, huffing in pain. Now that he knew you were hurt, no reason to act like you weren’t.

He sat along side you, your bodies still up against each other. He moves his arm from your waist to your shoulders, pulling you close.

Keith never touched you unless you were training together or you were in danger and needed his help so this physical contact with him made your heart go AFTHNJDFH ❤️‍🔥

The piggy back ride and the helping you to the ground were normal for him but him holding you close like this…omfg

Keith is slowly shutting down from embarrassment and nervousness. You can hear his breathing speed up as he’s praying that the others will find y’all soon or he might pass out

You lean into him, shivering still. His hand rubs up and down your arm in an attempt to warm you up.

Noticing that this isn’t working, he lets you go and scoots to sit behind you. He pulls you against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, your arms now pinned under his.

“Thanks.” You say to him before leaning back against him more, letting your head fall back on his shoulder.

Just as you’re getting comfy…

“Keith? Come in, Keith? Hello?”

You can faintly hear Shiro’s voice over the comms in Keith’s helmet. You tilt your head back more to look up at Keith’s face, he looks relieved but slightly disappointed…as if he didn’t want this moment to end so soon.

As he responds, he keeps his arms around you tightly, his hands gently rubbing your upper arms and you just cant look away from him now.

He held you against him for what felt like hours but it was really only like 10 minutes until Lance pokes his head in the cave, a loud “AAWWWW” coming from him.

Keith tilted his head back and let out a loud groan. Of all people to come save y’all…LANCE???

“They’re cold.” “Oh suuurrre.” “THEY ARE! Tell him, (Y/N).” “Yeah, I’m freezing.”

Lance flashes you both a snarky grin before Keith stands, pulling you up slowly.

“Then if it’s no big deal, I can carry (Y/N) back.” “No!” Keith responds quickly before he picks you up bridal style.

You’re surprised he can handle your weight in this position. Sure he was strong but piggy back would’ve been an easier option.

But you weren’t complaining…and neither was he ❤️‍🔥 (and Lance is lowkey like 🥹 as he follows behind you guys)

[prttykittes]

its 2 am and im so down bad for pmzai....... (i dont like dazai one bit i swear!)

anyways .. missionary and face sitting w pmzai with afab reader (●'◡'●) he's so cute it makes me want to eat rocks! >_<

꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ — yippe! He probably wants you to eat rocks! >_<(changed to fem reader!)

๑ PMzai x fem reader [your/you/girl]

— Synopsis:: he decides to have a one night stand you are the lucky one, maybe.

CW. Missionary, face sitting, one night stand, Dazai himself, biting(he bites you and your clit twice), squirting, rough sex

A/N :: port mafia Dazai is toxic tbh he's still hot, he probably has dark kinks that ada Dazai. — written by a minor

[MASTERLIST] — ₍⁠₍⁠◞⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠௰⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠◟⁠₎⁠₎ Works in there !

There he was, he was clad in a black coat and a black suit also bandages. One side of his face was covered by his bandage, you were a one night stand for him. He was standing before you. His brown hair covered his eyes, he had a smile on his face. "soo—"he kicked the bed next to you, you jolted up and his foot was next your leg. You were surprised because you weren't expecting that to happen so suddenly. "Get up on there" His voice speak up and you sit on the bed really fast. "Atta girl" he said with a sinister grin, you blushed and looked around. He pushed down on the bed, he grabs your shirt and began to unbutton it. He took off your bra, he massages your chest and you jolt and began to blush. "Ek!" His fingers brush over your nipples, he pushes you onto the bed and he unzips his pants. "This fast?" You ask and look up at him, he rolls his eyes. "Duh" he said like it was obvious, he goes between your legs and you can feel his dick twitching against your pelvis. You sigh as you can feel his dick entering you, you jolt up and move around as he shoves himself deep of you. "Ngh" you let out a grunt as he shoves himself more deep inside, your body lifts up and you legs go in the air. "Wait—" you say but he pulls out then shoves himself inside of you, you bite your lip as his movements are still rough and never soft. He never waited for you to get use of his cock, you stomach curls as he hits your womb. "Tight yourself more" he says, you open of your eyes before you clench your pussy around his dick. "Atta girl, keep doing that" he says while he continues to fuck you, his dick never stopping to hit your womb. He leans down and bites your neck, you gasp as he continues to leave bite marks on your skin. You hear him grunt then you can feel his rough fingers against your clit, you let out a loud moan and his fingers pinch at your clit. The pleasure of his fingers in your clit and his dick hitting your womb makes you want to cum so hard, you twitch so does your pussy. After a while you twitch hard then your juices go over his dick and on the bedsheets. He pulls out and sways his hand side to side on your pussy as he makes your juices fly around, you juices coat his dick and you can see him stroking his dick as your squirting slowly stops. You let out a deep sigh as your body twitches but you feel his dick inside of you again and you can feel his dick twitch inside of you, you can feel his warm sticky cum filing you up. His cum drools out between your pussy folds, you bite your lip and twitch. "Ugh..." He sits down before he grabs your hips, his grip is hard.

You groan and yelp as he puts you on his chest. "Wha—" you say in confusion but he stops you from talking. "Ride my face" he commands, you nod your head as your mind goes hazy. You put your pussy over his face and he shoves you down on his face, you move your hips against his face. His mouth sucking and his nose touching your bud, you ride his face. His face will be covered in your juices, he moves you faster on his face. You let out a loud moan as you can feel yourself getting ready to cum all over him, you stop and grip on his hair as you cum. You hear him groan, you lift yourself up and you look down to see your juices over his face. This was a good night stand but will he continue to have you as his night stand or will he leave you for good?

[sleeplesssmoll]

Do you think that the foundations staff considers vertin a bad omen (or like a omen for the storm) and do you think the foundation did it on purpose and she kinda is?

Like if you think about it how can they not? Vertin is the timekeeper, someone who can brave the storm and not be affected like at all, and every work place has gossip at least even a little and with vertin's kind of aloof or "emotionless" personality I can't imagine people who hasn't met her would have a good perception of her and even at the start of the game the female investigator says "your our timekeeper that means..." That means when vertin arrived that signals to the investors that the storm is near, and even the whole procedure of you can call for aid of the timekeeper within 24 hours of the storm honestly all of this kinda feels like it's designed to have the timekeeper synonymous with the storm because wherever she is the storm is always near, do you think Constantine did that on purpose to further isolate vertin? Honestly it feels like something she'd do

I don't think Constantine did it intentionally but it definitely works in her favor. Vertin is like an omen of death who shows up before the Storm. As an Investigator, she's the last person you want to see but it's also very important you recognize her.

Smoltin was a pain in the Foundation's butt, but Vertin is the respected Timekeeper who carries the highest authority during the Storm. Regardless of how they feel about her personally, they have to trust her or risk being Reversed if they are in the danger zone.

I can totally see unsavory rumors and gossip floating around because she started off at the bottom. She was he sole member of her department for so long which means people's imaginations have a chance to run wild.

Here's a fun game, what kind if rumors/gossip would be floating around? What are people saying behind her back?

1. "What the hell is the Foundation thinking letting her gather all these unhinged arcanists? She must have people the scenes."

2. "Why do people follow her? What is she offering them that the Foundation can't? She should be investigated. "

3. "I hear her Suitcase brainwashes anyone who steps inside to obey her."

4. "The only reason she's ranked above us is because she's immune to the Storm. She's lucky she even graduated! If she wasn't the Timekeeper, she'd probably be cleaning the Critter pens!"

5. "Does she even care?"

6. "I can't look at her. Everything I do I remember everyone else who didn't make it..."

7. "She's so touchy with all her people. Just saying, it's kinda weird. I think I saw her kiss her assistant's cheek! Isn't that an abuse of power?"

8. "The top student is following orders from the worst in the class. It's like a sick joke. If that's where hard work gets you, whats the point of trying?"

9. "I don’t even know what her face looks like because she always has that stupid hat on with that stuffy suit. She loves to show off, while we're stuck in black and white."

10. "The Timekeeper was originally a frog but she was transformed after the first Storm!"

11. "She took in Joshua? She must be facing hard times."

12. "I heard she joined Manus at one point. I don't think we should keep someone like that in charge of a literal army of arcanists."

13. "She met Arcana multiple times and lived! She could be secretly working for her."

14. "Her team of Arcanists survived the island but the human team didn't. We need to keep an eye on her."

15. "A face only a mother could love. Have I seen it? Well, no, but why else would she hide it. It's not like she's shy."

16. "What do you mean she? Isn't the Timekeeper a guy? But it's Sir Vertin, Lord Vertin, and so on! Vertin's not a girl name to begin with! Ugh these damn Arcanists always make everything complicated."

17. "I thought she was interested in me but it turns out she holds hands and gives gifts to everyone. What a weirdo! Thank goodness, I dodged a bullet–shut up, I'm not angry. Why would I be angry? She's not even my type!"

[pedroshotwifey]

what about a drabble about a first date with logan who's trying so so hard to have manners and be a gentleman but he's nervous and keeps messing up and its so adorable and cute????? of course reader tells him to chill out and be his normal fucking self because that's who she likes. I felt so bad for him in a clip that's circulating on tiktok where someone says to him that he's not the kind of guy they'd take home bc that's only for good guys

Okay so I loved this so much and then I got excited ab writing Logan and it turned into more of a fic than a drabble, but here it is 😭

First time writing him so I hope it sounds alright! I did use a little something from the recent movie to add a bit of oomph to the ending. Again, thank you much for this request, it's so cute 🥰

Just realized I made it an f!reader insert, but if you want to message me, I can easily switch some things around and repost if you want a diff reader!

The Right Guy

Pairing: f!reader x Logan/Wolverine

W/C: 1.1k

Fluff/diet angst, Just a few F bombs here, nothing bad (they told me absolutely no coke)

******

You scold yourself as you check the small watch on your wrist for the tenth time in ten minutes. In your defense, the time is absolutely crawling by. Logan should be here for your first date in about five minutes, and you’re nervous as hell.

You’ve been crushing on him since you were hired at the mansion a few months ago, so since he asked you out a week ago, your stomach has been constantly swarmed by butterflies. He’s sweet, funny, carefree, but mature—and not to mention sexy as hell. You really don’t want to mess this up. 

Lucky for you, it seems that he feels the same. He tends to be a little more nervous around you, his blush more prominent when you tease him. It both comforts you and gives you confidence. He seems to genuinely like you for who you are. 

Because of that, you decided to wear your favorite dress for your date. He told you he’d be taking you to a restaurant, but didn’t get specific, so it was honestly the safest choice anyway. It’s one of those that could be casual just as easily as it could be fancy. A few well-selected pieces of jewelry can make a world of difference, after all. 

You glance in the mirror, and then back at your watch. It’s right as the long hand makes a round to signify that it’s two before seven that you hear a sharp knock at your door. You jump up from your seat, slightly startled. If anyone had been in the room with you, you'd probably be embarrassed. 

Thankfully, since you’re home alone, you ignore the scare and head for your front door. You take one more deep breath and pull on the knob to reveal your handsome date. You look Logan up and down, expecting his usual outfit—blue jeans, a white shirt, and either his leather or jean jacket. What you get instead, is a suit. You have to make a physical effort to not show your confusion. Okay, maybe you expected a nicer shirt or something—ironed jeans if he really wanted to go crazy—but a suit? 

“Oh, hey!” Unfortunately, it’s a bit harder to keep the confusion out of your voice. Don’t get it wrong, it’s nice of him to try to dress up for you, and he does look very nice, but he doesn’t look like Logan. Your eyes catch on his hair—the usual tufts you love so much look to be somewhat flattened by a gel. 

It’s while you’re distracted by this that he reveals a hidden hand holding a bouquet of flowers—your favorite, actually. So why do you feel almost…disappointed? No, that can’t be it. It’s so cute that he’s putting all this effort in for you, but you really just want the normal Logan.

“Oh, wow,” you say, trying to shake off whatever this strange feeling is. “Thank you, Logan.” 

You carefully accept the flowers and step aside to let him inside while you put them in water. It’s strange that he hasn’t said anything else yet. Wait, should you say something? No, he usually says something. There’s usually a joke cracked by now. It’s weird that he’s not, right? Ugh, maybe it’s you being weird? The awkward tension between the two of you is suffocating.

You’re almost disoriented with your overthinking as you move about your kitchen, pulling down a vase to fill with tap water. Logan, of course, notices. 

He softly clears his throat. “Everything alright?”

You set the vase down on your island and look at him, lips pursed. Should you say something? Well shit, he probably sees something wrong by now—you’re staring at him like you want to say something. Damn it. 

You open your mouth and close it again. How do you even say what you want to say though? 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” you lie. Right to his face. 

You smile and walk back to him, trying your best to ignore the expression on his face. Great, now you’re being weird, too. Why the fuck is this weird? 

You breathe out as you close and lock your door, mentally prepping yourself for what you’re really hoping will be a good date. Logan’s waiting for you next to his—

Car? 

Where the fuck is his bike? 

Whatever—it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s probably just in the shop or something. 

You give him a tight-lipped smile as you walk to the vehicle, and he opens the passenger door for you. You slide into the seat and wait for him to shut the door before exhaling again. This is all very sweet, but you’ve got to say something. 

You stare at him as he gets into the driver’s seat. Again, he notices. There’s a thick, momentary silence.

“Look, bub, whatever it is, I—”

“You’re not acting like you,” you blurt. 

He stares at you for a second, but you’re pretty sure he knows exactly what you’re saying. You’re pretty sure that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. 

“Logan, you don’t have to put on this show for me,” you say as gently as you can, though it comes out maybe a tad aggravated.

He lets out a slow exhale through his nose and closes his eyes for a blink. You feel bad pointing it out, but there’s no way you can go through a whole date with this stiff act. He opens his eyes back and you offer him a sympathetic smile, your hand reaching out to cup his jaw. He leans into your touch, his own hand coming to envelop yours. 

“I want to go on a date with the Logan I already know, with his bike, and his blue jeans—you move your hand to his hair, messing it up enough to loosen the gel hold—and his crazy ass looking hair.” 

He huffs a laugh, looking at you with tired eyes. You understand how much he must have stressed over all the little details he put in for you. 

“It was very sweet of you to do all this, but you don’t need to perform for me, Lo.” 

He nods slowly, taking a moment to think over everything. “It’s been a long time since I took a chance with somebody,” he confesses, his gruff voice holding an emotion that makes your heart ache for him. “I wanted to be the right guy for you.” 

Your stomach flips. “Logan, you are the right guy for me. You’re always the right guy.” 

Before he can say anything else, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. Surprise halts him for a second, but he’s quick after to reciprocate, his lips moving slowly but passionately with yours. One of his large hands snakes behind you to cup the back of your neck, the other gently tilting your chin. 

You kiss until you’re out of breath, and when you pull away, you let out an airy laugh. Despite the suit, he looks like your Logan again. Wild hair, wild eyes, pink in his cheeks. 

“C’mon, Romeo,” you tease. “Let’s get that damn jacket off and order a pizza and beer.” 

[triplesilverstar]

Along came a bunny or two

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Vash X GN!Reader, Wolfwood X GN!Reader, Knives X GN!Reader

CW: Smut, bunny outfits, riding, clothed sex, listen they're in bunny suits and doing what bunnies do! Bang.

Word count: 1.3K roughly

A/N: Alright so when I saw this art by Lizery this morning I couldn't help myself. So have three little blurbs about the ugh... Bunnies today.

Walking out of the bathroom you sigh rolling your shoulders and feeling a few of your vertebrae pop adding to the sense of relief you feel. The grip on the towel around your neck loosens and you tilt your head to look up the ceiling and the slowly spinning fan. 

“Well Hello Mayfly~” Letting out a short laugh at the sing song way Vash is speaking, you have a pretty good idea what your outlaw is looking for. Rubbing your fingers along your damp hair before letting a smile grow on your face before looking at Vash. 

And letting out a choked noise. 

“Like what you see Mayfly~” Turning on the bed and giving you a short salute, the leather of his glove squeaking. 

You don’t answer him, your mouth opening and closing as your brain tries to process what Vash is wearing. “Oh, have I left you speechless? That’s new~” 

An audible gulp as you lick your lips at the thigh high leather boots with heels you think only he could pull off. The red fabric clings tightly to his waist and stomach, but the top is stretched out over his pecs in a way that the cups are flopping over. Turning just a small amount and giving his booty a shake to reveal the red cotton tail attached to match the ears on his head.

That does you in. 

Dropping to the floor and wiping the drool from your mouth as you finally find the words. “You make one cute bunny.” 

Laughing as he rises from the bed only to stumble and land in front of you, chuckling at his clumsiness. “I was going for sexy.” A blush breaks out across his face as you lift a hand to trace the scars along his chest peaking out from the cups of the bunny suit. “Guess my little tumble didn’t help that.” 

“Well,” You start before blinking a few more times as you try to gather more of the scattered parts of your brain. “You’re that too. Though, I heard bunnies like to be busy.” Snorting at your own cheesy thoughts before blurting out “So let's get busy, my red sexy bun.” Winking as he tugs you under him to kiss you senseless. 

Later you’re the one wearing the bunny ears while sitting atop him and riding him still in his boots as he thrusts up into you. “You make a cuter bunny.” Panting as he says it, and you’re well aware he’s nowhere near done with you yet. 

Tossing your head back as he hits just the right place inside you that has you screaming his name while he keeps bucking into you. 

“Darlin, can I get your help with something?” Nico’s voice calls out from another room and you pause what you were doing to head towards the sound of his voice. You’d gotten lucky and stumbled across the abandoned town, taking a bit of time to recover from the wandering of the desert planet. 

Only as you head down you stick your head into one door and don’t find him. Doing the same to another. “Nico, where are you?” 

“Bedroom!” Letting out a small hum at the tingle his raised voice sends down your spine, you head to the end of the hall with a skip in your step. Letting out a whistle at the figure crouched on the bed. 

“Oh, I see you need my help alright.” Smirking at the tanned man in a black bunny suit, a set of black stockings on his thick legs and he’s wearing a pair of heels that don’t fully fit his feet. A set of bunny ears on his head, but what really has your attention is the choker around his neck with the small cross hanging from it. 

“I’ve got an itch I need your help with.” Leaning back you can see the bulge straining the bottom of his outfit curious how he isn’t breaking out the sides of the thin piece of material over his crotch. 

Stepping towards the bed you grin as Nico holds out a hand for you to take as you crawl into his lap and start grinding against him. “Like this?” Pretending you don’t know what he wants as you slip two fingers under the collar around his neck and give it a small tug. 

“Close.” Grunting at the sudden jerk around his neck. Placing his hands on your hips before catching your mouth in a sloppy kiss. “Almost there, maybe something a little warmer to help.” Lifting your body and helping you slip your pants and underwear down your legs, groaning as his thick fingers slide along your sex. 

You ripped a hole in his pantyhose after pushing the bottom of his bunny suit aside and sinking down onto his length. Both of you groan as you ride him with your fingers gripping the choker around his neck. “What a naughty bunny you’ve been, all pent up. Don’t worry Nico.” Panting as you move faster with his aid. “I’ll help with that itch until it’s good and soothed.” 

“Oh come on Master Knives, you agreed.” Crossing your legs at you sit at the foot of his bed, doing your best to behave. It wasn’t your fault he had agreed to your little wager when he informed you he expected you to wear the outfit he had found. 

A wager he was certain he was going to win. 

“This is nothing but beneath me.” The snark in his voice is clear, clearly full of disdain for what he’s wearing. 

“You were going to have me in it.” You grin hiding your lips behind your hand. “Please Master Knives.” Pleading with him usually resulted in you sort of getting your way. 

A snarl and it takes every fibre of your being not to laugh at the most dangerous being on the planet striding towards you. In a bunny suit so pale the blue is barely visible, walking on heels strapped around his ankle with a grace you didn’t expect of the plant, the bunny ears atop his head bobbing in time to his graceful steps. 

You can’t hold yourself back at the sight of him filling out the fabric and having it stretched across his lean abdomen so you can see every twitch of his stomach as he strides towards you and gives you the smallest of twirls as per your agreed upon a deal. 

A giggle escaped you as the fake cotton tail attached at the back twitched when his cheeks clamped together for the spin. 

“Do you find something assuming Pet?” A low growl in his voice as he faces you, and a flash of rage in his eyes. 

“No Master Knives.” Trying to back peddle to try and save yourself from his usual brand of punishment that is just for you. 

“Did you know rabbits have a great deal of stamina?” Blinking your on your back with Knives staring down at you with a glint in his icy eyes. “I think you need a lesson in just how much they have.” 

His hands divulge you of your clothes in moments, throwing your legs over his shoulders before lining himself up and slamming into your core. All you can do is gasp at the sudden stretch, arching your back as you let out a wanton moan. One of his large hands grabs yours and crosses your wrists to keep you from touching him and he slams into your body with enough force you can hear the frame of the bed creek. 

“You’re about to learn just how long this rabbit can go, now sing for me while I remind you who is in control Pet.” And sing you do, screaming his name between pants and moans that have anyone who can hear you thinking you’re being tortured by the plant. 

They aren’t far off.