#I feel so helpless lately

[demonsword586]

Hiatus announcment!!!!

Well this was a long time incoming.

I haven't been really active lately. Barely posting and just not interacting much with the kind community....So I figured now was the right time for me to tell you,I'm taking a break!

It's been a rough 2 months for my mental state. My motivation has been pretty down and that's why I haven't been quite active. But now it just happened that I got a lot of irl problems. This year of school just happens to be full of practical work which takes a lot of my time,I been a bit behind in my classes cuz seasonly flu🥲 and lately I started to....not like my friends??? Annoyed might be a better words.

I feel like I'm turning into a more cold person and I don't like that! So I'm taking some time off to clear my head,get some relaxing hobbies that could get my writing back to rolling,you know the healthy lifestyle. So I won't be active on tumblr for awhile,at least until I get myself in check.

I don't wish to give people that still follow me false hope. If I'm interacting here,I want to be the best version of myself and make someone smile!

So what does that mean for this blog?

Offically..... the sword is on an indefinite hiatus!

[cantashi]

Im sad so I drew cute itafushi to cheer myself up ;)

[allwillbecomeclear]

... 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥...

[persy-r-bozo]

[greasydumbfuck]

watched the 2004 punisher movie yesterday with pixie and honestly i had fun 👍 some stuff was good some stuff was eh some completely irrelevant stuff made me mildly annoyed. but most of all it was funny and they had frank hang around with his tits out for multiple scenes so i mean how could i not have a great time tbh

[mutantenfisch]

It's almost half past 1 and I had ... not a panic attack but a critical situation and decided I won't get up at 5 to go to school today but instead at 7:30 will go to the doctor once more and also ask my mum to be my silent cheerleader so I call / mail through all the specialists once again.

The way my mental health is hurdling downwards I realise it's more important to get professional help ASAP than trying to soldier through school. First thing I'm gonna do in the morning is send a message to my class's headteacher to try and explain the situation and ask if there's any chance to remain in school even though I'll probably exceed the 21 weeks of ill time I am technically allowed over the 2.5 years.

(The contract with the school says i am allowed to miss 32.5 days and days don't get counted on the calendar but instead get added via the missed school hours. With 36 hours per week this adds up to 1.5 days in one week and thus I'm already at 4 days after 2.5 months of school ;_; )

Now, time to dry my tears, get rid of the sinking feeling in my stomach and the pain behind my temples and sinuses and maybe manage at least 3 hours of sleep.

[girlivealwaysbean]

i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point

[to-be-a-dreamer]

And if I make a full post talking about how Abby, Shannon, and Taylor were actually really interesting and compelling characters that were just wildly mishandled by the writers and weren't allowed to fully explore their own motivations or personalities outside of being a love interest then what?

This is a threat.

[metallteeff]

okay not funny i need my testosterone today and i just need it and i will do it fucking balls of steel style

[dayurno]

ur tags on the succession post is killing me. in the dark of their dorm at night riko is like. I Wish you were a woman. i would marry you. we would be together forever. and kevin, who has just recently discovered the joys of gay sex with one jean moreau, is sweating like Hahah yeah…. Im not tho…. sorry

ITS FUNNY ITS REALLY FUNNY TO ME. i think riko thought of kevin as a girl often and unabashedly and the idea started out as a normal repressed thing when they were like 10 and turned into "i'd castrate and marry you in a heartbeat" up until the point of canon. there's a very real distinction though that riko wouldn't say i wish you were a woman, he'd say i wish there was a way for me to turn you into a woman. because if he had the chance to change kevin in a way so permanent that would only benefit riko on the long run he would do it without thinking twice of it, and he'd find himself in his right to

i was going to say this is like a feminization fetish and i'm sure part of it could be but really it's just how i imagine riko's brain works. like if it was achievable he would absolutely do it. no woman has ever interested him in the way kevin does but obviously anything with kevin would be impossible with the master looking over them. a lot of riko's feelings towards kevin would be on that very crux of possessiveness and willfull ignorance of consent which is very interesting for me

[maliciousmalfeasance]

can't believe i have to wait til jan at the earliest to find out if i have the scary disease that causes silent heart attacks that i tick almost every symptom of..... if i die between now and then im going to haunt my doctors so hard

[theyamjam]

just had a really odd nightmare where I was in a town haunted by an angry spirit that had magic similar to bill cypher’s and my parents picked me as the sacrifice (convinced me they’d come back and pick me up)

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

[mando-forgive-me]

.

[potatoesandsunshine]

😔

[pepprs]

i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol