#I feel like there's so many more ads in youtube in general these days

[papermonkeyism]

Why does youtube keep showing me ads for this one christian dating app. I keep blocking them but they keep popping up as new versions over and over again, could you please leave my queer pagan arse alone, thank.

Maybe I should just start watching videos through Firefox instead of the app, at least Mozilla has my back with the adblocker...

[canmom]

finished Carmilla. what a wonderfully silly novel that was. I need to download an ebook to count how many times Le Fanu uses the word 'languid'.

that said, reading with modern eyes, I think it's a bit of a victim of many subsequent novels elaborating on vampires, and some of the conventions of Victorian literature - in particular, the rule that the narrator has to survive in order to recount the tale, and the evil must be overthrown and tied up neatly. worse, Laura ends up an entirely passive character, with the final resolution seeing Carmilla killed by a couple of side characters, one of whom hasn't even been mentioned up to that point.

the novel is at its best when Carmilla and Laura are interacting. I would have liked to see Laura return Carmilla's affections a bit more, rather than just being like 'well that was weird' every time Carmilla lezzes it up or says something hilariously morbid. but there is definitely humour in her being very literally the straight girl.

I've seen subsequent adaptations of Carmilla, notably my friend Maki @mxmy's Dr Carmilla character, who's - at least in what is released so far - a space vampire with a habit of picking up waifs and strays and turning them into immortal pirates, something which tends to end badly for everyone. the other is (if anyone still remembers) the 2014 Carmilla web series on youtube, which is set in a college dormitory in the States, and presents Carmilla in a more positive light. in the end, I was a little surprised to find both these works take little other than the premise of 'lesbian vampire called Carmilla' and her relationship with a girl called Laura or Lorelei. the web series pulls in a few other names from the novel but completely reframes the situation, adding a new male vampire who is exploiting Carmilla to act as a villain (it was 2010s pop-feminism, you know how it goes). Dr Carmilla currently only vaguely hints at the relationship between Carmilla and Lorelei in the released songs, but involves a new apocalyptic scenario (I think that's about all I can say) - but it does at least keep Carmilla as an itinerant traveller, and keeps the tragic air of the story.

it is not entirely made clear in the novel if the waking Carmilla is aware of her vampiric excursions. it's easy to suppose while reading it that she's just a good liar who's taking them all for a ride, and I think that's still the best supported interpretation, but I think there's equally a reading where she's unaware of the whole vampire thing, and genuinely likes this daft straight girl Laura and before her, the general's daughter. if she is aware, she's really bad at covering her tracks, particularly with her disappearing act. the whole anagram schtick is explicitly named as a rule she has to operate under, but there's plenty she does to tip off her victims and their families. perhaps the point is that she's just charismatic enough to get away with it.

the character of carmilla's mother is a thread that never quite seems to get resolved. the natural assumption is that she's another vampire, dropping her daughter off in a new feeding ground - but since the ending acts like Carmilla was the only surviving vampire, I wonder if perhaps she should be taken as an illusion conjured by Carmilla, perhaps the reason she has to be sent away on a mysterious carriage ride as soon as possible in each instance?

the vampire is traditionally taken to be in part a symbol of the feudal past of cruel aristos persisting and corrupting the rational present, something that makes plenty of sense for Dracula, but in Carmilla's case, nearly every character is a castle-dwelling aristocrat of some sort, and the peasants and servants are treated as mostly beneath notice by the narrative and characters (one scene that stands out has Carmilla, feeling insulted by a trinket seller, idly talk about how in her day she'd have called for his bloody execution - a comment that seems to bother Laura very little). the main characters are even related to Carmilla's family. perhaps just a case of early iterations of an idea, not yet fully formed.

one thing I do like about Carmilla is the amount of physical affection - Carmilla is constantly touching and kissing Laura, and while Le Fanu probably didn't mean this the way we would today, it provides for strong images of sickly Carmilla draping herself all over her new object of affections, like she's acquired a new favourite doll. I can see why this is widely understood as a lesbian novel even though it's very Victorian; it's kinda dark yuri, like Carmilla is coming into the lives of these lonely girls and kind of lovebombing them with expressions of affection and devotion, and whomst among us... it would take many more decades of horny writers to really get into the eroticism of vampiric blood drinking itself though, which here largely takes place in a deniable way, while Laura is sleeping.

despite the reputation for Victorian novels to be long and rambling, this was a rather brisk book. I honestly wish it was a bit longer - a very obvious addition would be a chance for Laura to talk to Carmilla once she's finally figured out the vampire thing, instead of rushing to the ending. it seemed Le Fanu was more interested in explaining vampires (fucked up amirite), which makes sense for the time, but nowadays we all know what the deal is with vampires and instead the core relationship is the interesting part. ah well! it's worth the time to read.

[phoenixyfriend]

HI DO YOU WANT SOME COSTUBE DRAMA THAT TURNED KINDA WHOLESOME

Pt 1: The Drama

Okay so a long-ass time ago (I think like 15 years), a British costume historian on youtube by the name of Cathy Hay decided she was going to remake 'the peacock Worth gown' and started a kickstarter for it. She made a bunch of money, but the actual work ended up being much more than she expected, so the project kept getting delayed.

In the years after, she befriended the now much more famous Bernadette Banner. They got close enough for cross-Atlantic trips to visit, etc. They were best friends and often joked that they were the same person.

Drama started riling up as people criticized Hay for not engaging meaningfully with the problematic history of the gown in question, which had been made for the wife of a British Governor of India during the 19th century, for a party celebrating British imperialism in India, and the gown's shining feature was Indian embroidery which was almost certainly underpaid, and that embroidery was the massively time-consuming bit that had been delaying her this whole time.

It was a whole thing that she sort of? Tried to address? buuuut The thing is, one of the seemingly obvious ways to manage this conflict would be to coordinate with an Indian embroiderer. In fact, a very accomplished specialist did reach out to her about collaborating on this! And she ghosted him! Maybe even blocked, I don't remember, but the thing was that he was ready and willing to do this cool project that could explore and reimagine a beautiful but morally ugly example of their shared countries' histories.

And she just… kept refusing to engage.

And then people started pointing out the weirdly predatory marketing she had for an online product/newsletter she had, and the discourse kept building as people realized overall that she was just… not as good a person as she claimed to be.

It got bad enough that Banner broke off the friendship, in large part because of that refusal to engage meaningfully with the loaded history of the Worth gown project

Pt 2: The Wholesome

So, a few days ago, Bernadette Banner released a video of her making a Regency gown. It's a very standard kind of project for her, just using old patterns and adding a touch of her own gothic tastes with historical methods to make a cool piece of clothing that explores costume history.

Halfway through, she has a call with someone she is planning to do a different video with. We don't know what the video is, but!

The thing is

The person she is having this call with

Is the Indian embroiderer, Mayankraj Singh, that Cath Hay ghosted.

And the video continues on with Banner and Singh talking about her Regency gown project and just. He ends up making an embroidered chiffon overgown with a crow motif. And it just feels very wholesome and I love to see this all coming back around.

(Okay, double-checked and apparently Hay requested a sample from Singh, and then ghosted him after she got photos of it)

In late September, another costumer, Miah Grace, released a video noting that, in 2020, Hay had requested an embroidery sample from with Mayankraj Singh, founder of the luxury fashion brand Atelier Shikaarbagh. Indian embroiderers in this shop possess skills that go back seven generations. Singh reportedly made a sample made but only sent Hay photos of it. After Hay stopped responding for many months, Singh went live on Instagram to explain what happened. Apparently, when his head embroiderer found the sample, he burned it, and scolded Singh for making it. “He said it was an inauspicious design,” Singh said, “and we do not make it anymore.” Hay later apologized to Singh, and he now considers the matter settled. - Craftsmanship Magazine

Anyway, yeah, after all of that from a few years ago, it was kind of exciting to see Banner collaborating with Singh

And she's so excited to open the package! Happy screaming!

It's so sweet.

He had his team embroider their names on the hem And she loves it

I am living for this vicarious excitement

(She does lay it on a bit thick at the end, but you know what. I'll take it.)

OH and the ending involves her attending the ball with Nami Sparrow, one of the creators of Indian background (Indian-American) that was a voice of Expertise criticizing Cathy Hay a few years ago.

Which is like. Tacit endorsement? If Singh alone wasn't enough.

Anyway yeah I lost my mind a little about this.

[c-rowlesdraws]

browsing twitter for longer than a few minutes gives me radiation poisoning these days, and it’s worse in the evening, in the hours when the dark feelings creep in anyway. So even though I’m really apprehensive to talk politics on my art blog (I mean, if the backlash to a hyperbolic post I made about a famous youtuber is this bad, posting about politics would turn my activity page into a window to hell), I have to vent some of my feelings or that radiation damage will just keep getting quietly worse. And a fair number of people read this blog, and seem to like things that I create and say, so for what it’s worth, I want to say some things I hope people will think about.

Someone I really admire tweeted recently about how hopeless they feel. They said that after many years of fighting for social change, they had no fight left. They said they were too exhausted to vote in the upcoming US presidential election. And I tried to understand where they were coming from, because this is someone I look up to. But I can’t. I understand feeling burnt out. I feel nauseous and heartbroken and scared, thinking about the situation in Palestine and the situation in my country. I understand that it seems like there is no good leader to rally behind.

But I can’t tap out. I can’t give in to hopelessness and say, “I can’t choose. I’m tired and I’m done”. When a choice is between maintenance of an imperfect society with incremental steps towards better things, and cranking human misery and suffering enthusiastically up to 11, I’m going with the former. We are all tired every day. But voting is not physically difficult. Even if you are tired, you can do it. There is a day where you go to a building, and you fill in a bubble next to a name, and you go home. They even give you a sticker. I said voting isn’t hard, but actually, it’s very important to say that for a lot of people in the US, voting is hard to access, and for some groups, impossible. It is made difficult on purpose, by people—Republicans, it’s fucking always them, I don’t know why I’m using vague language—who want to disenfranchise as many people as they can. If voting was really a useless gesture, if it really meant nothing— they wouldn’t be working so damn hard to stop poor people and immigrants and prisoners and folks in general from being able to do it.

If you hate Biden, god, fine, whatever. But he is going to be the nominee of the political party made up of judges and politicians that, for the most part, believe that climate change is real and ought to be mitigated, that the US should not be turned into an evangelical christian theocracy, that firearms should be regulated, that businesses should be regulated, that healthcare should be more affordable and accessible, that people should be able to get safe abortions, that trans and all lgbt people deserve to live their lives, and that asylum-seekers shouldn’t be shredded by concertina wire trying to cross the border. The wheel of social change is huge and fucking heavy and sometimes it looks like it isn’t moving at all. But we can feel it move if we all push together.

I caught a Trump ad on the radio the other day and it was some of the scariest shit. “Trump will bring order to chaos,” it said. “He will ban travel from terrorist countries, and end the disastrous open-border policies allowing illegal migrants and deadly drugs like fentanyl to flood into our country.” The fucking anti-muslim travel ban. It’s back, baby. That was the exact phrasing: terrorist countries. If Biden’s foreign policy with regards to the Middle East is frustrating and despair-inducing already, Trump’s would be a catastrophe. The Republicans think Democrats are soft on terrorism. As much as anyone with a conscience is horrified by the US’s continued passivity with regards to Palestine, this motherfucker getting back in office would bring greater horror. I’m really sure about it. I don’t know what that part of the world will look like next fall, but I’m confident that if this dumb bloodthirsty motherfucker regains office, there would be absolutely no hope of public pressure swaying US foreign policy towards “less murder”. Protesting against war and genocide or for any progressive or civil rights cause would become even more dangerous. I still think about the woman who was run over by a car at the protest in 2017

…I’m rambling. I can’t help it. But I don’t want to just ramble unproductively. I should end this with something I hope makes sense to people snd can’t be easily dismissed, even if you already disagree with something I’ve said. I want to say how I genuinely feel.

I believe that imperfect activism is valuable, because it is better to show up and stand in solidarity with other people fighting for a more just world than to not show up at all. I believe all activism is in some way imperfect, because activists are people, and people are imperfect. That is to say, one middle-aged woman who showed up to a DC protest wearing a hand-crocheted pink pussy hat, who maybe hadn’t been to many (or any) protests before but who felt fired up about this one, was worth ten of the smug “real leftists” sneering about her on twitter. Maybe more than ten. Your own activism will be imperfect. But keep an open mind— to your own learning and to others’. Doing “the bare minimum” (and, ugh, what a discouraging phrase) is still doing. We have to encourage everyone who feels drawn to fighting for social good. We have to link arms with one another and be strong. Even if you think the person next to you is a lame-o liberal, if they believe that (for example) trans people deserve access to gender-affirming care and should not be smashed flat into fruit-by-the-foot and sent straight to hell, they are your comrade.

Be wary of people who self-identify as Cassandras and unheeded prophets, especially if their messages consistently emphasize how everything is garbage and the world can’t be saved. If someone is telling you that only they understand how uniquely horrible things are, that no progressive or leftist political philosophy is viable except for the specific one they adhere to, that no news or media sources are worthwhile or even trustworthy except for the small handful of ones they endorse… I won’t say to stop listening to them or following them, but I’d recommend listening to other people, too.

Do your own reading about issues that are important to you. Read many people’s words, watch videos, think about what you believe, and how those beliefs have changed over time, and stay open to being further changed. We are all constantly learning and shaping ourselves, and teaching, and being shaped by others. All of us are tired. But we can hold each other up.

I don’t have a rousing call to action. Just the same things many people are already saying that I’ve felt encouraged by, in a grim sort of way: protest and donate when and where you can, support political candidates on the local and national stage who do support policies you agree with, who could do real good. It feels very hard right now to be hopeful. But we all have to live in whatever future comes eventually— so I think we have to still participate, and that means things like voting. We are all tired. But we have to keep going. There is, ultimately, no sitting out. People who opt out of voting still must live under the social climate and policies imposed by the person who gets elected, and who they endorse and empower and appoint, and who those people empower and appoint, and so on.

This post doesn’t have a good conclusion. I didn’t write it thinking about what would make for a satisfying structure in general. But if you read it, then thank you for reading.

[nenelonomh]

skincare practices

skincare refers to the practice of maintaining and improving the health and appearance of your skin. this post is a guide on where to start!

having a routine (starting with simple practices)

cleanser: begin and end your day by washing your face with a gentle, sulphate-free cleanser. even if your skin feels clean, this step removes any impurities.

moisturizer: apply a fragrance-free moisturizer twice a day. hydration is crucial for maintaining a healthy skin barrier.

sunscreen: protect your skin from uv damage by using a mineral- or chemical-based sunscreen with at least spf 30. apply it in the morning.

skin types

there are 5 primary skin types, each with unique characteristics and needs.

normal skin is balanced and not too oily or dry. it's like the goldilocks of skin types! maintain it with a gentle routine. if your skin is generally normal, opt for a lotion. as you age, consider switching to a cream-based moisturizer for added hydration.

dry skin lacks hydration, feels tight, and may have flakiness. opt for richer moisturizers with ingredients like hyaluronic acid and ceramides. for dry skin, skip lotions and go for creams or ointments. these provide more moisture and help preserve water in the skin.

oily skin produces excess oil, especially in the t-zone (forehead, nose, and chin). use lightweight, oil-free products and consider salicylic acid for acne-prone areas. if you’re prone to oiliness, choose a light gel-based moisturizer to avoid clogging pores.

combination skin is a mix of oily and dry areas. focus on balancing - light moisturizers for oily zones and richer ones for dry areas. treat your face as two zones. moisturize the dry areas and skip the oily ones. remember to look for spf 30 or higher for sun protection!

sensitive skin is prone to redness, irritation, and reaction. choose fragrance-free, hypoallergenic products and patch-test any new products.

common skincare mistakes

skipping sunscreen. sunscreen is non-negotiable! protect your skin from uv damage by using spf 30 or higher daily. if you live in a sunny environment, make sure to reapply before you go outside!

not cleansing before bed: properly cleanse your face before sleeping. it removes dirt, makeup, excess oil, and pollution remnants, preventing breakouts and maintaining healthy skin.

sleeping with makeup on. gross! no! remove your makeup before you go to bed to prevent clogged pores and skin irritation.

using too many products. overloading with products can overwhelm your skin, so learn how to simplify your routine. additionally, using products that are not right for your skin may have negative effects - creating more issues instead of solving them.

overusing acne products. be gentle with acne treatments. overuse can lead to dryness and irritation.

using harsh products. avoid aggressive ingredients that strip your skin. opt for gentle formulations.

remember - healthy skin starts with mindful habits.

further reading

understanding skin - skin types and conditions | eucerin

what are skin types? | verywellhealth ↑ this link has a 'determining your skin type' section

how to pick the right moisturizer for your skin | american academy of dermatology association

combination skin care (youtube video) | dr. aanchal md

how to build a skincare routine for beginners | arizona dermatology

skin care: 5 tups for healthy skin | mayo clinic

end notes

thank you for reading! i get a lot of skincare practice asks, so i figured it was about time i had a good response.

as always - if you're troubled by your skin take yourself to see a professional. they are specially trained to help you with your problems. this post will only be able to share with you what i have researched. definitely have a look into some of the 'further reading' links - it's so important to learn about (and determine your skin type).

if you'd like to have a look at more of my skincare posts, check out 'how to reduce acne - and what is acne?' and 'how to properly wash your face'. feel free to send any questions to my ask box!

❤️nene

[ateez-himari]

FORMER LEADER MEETS MAKNAE

At the request of former B.A.P leader, Bang Yongguk, a conversation sparks with one of the industry's most artistic idols.

May 21, 2024 (1:28PM)

Third generation rapper Bang Yongguk uploaded an unexpected video to his YouTube channel, around a month following his new album, in which he documented a meeting with ATEEZ's youngest member and songwriter, Himari. In contrast to what many believed when seeing the title it was in fact not their first time interacting with one another as they had filmed a dance challenge in the summer of last year. On that day however it was arranged by the senior artist due to his curiosity regarding the vocalist's impressive credits as well as her unique artistic expression, claiming that he viewed her as one of the industry's rare aces.

Despite B.A.P's unfortunate disbandment in 2019 following a lawsuit against their company, it was expressed multiple times throughout the years that she held a great respect for him and found great inspiration in the way that he pursued his own creativity. It was through one of those passionate ramblings that the rapper caught wind of the maknae's name, the young woman immediately catching his attention with her often emotional additions in b-sides.

'There was something about the way you wrote certain feelings, the strict work ethic that you showed in videos and the realness in your personality that made me curious. You're also producing quite a lot for someone this young so I wanted to meet you, to see who was the girl everyone started talking about, good or bad comments alike.'

In the beginning of their conversation he mentioned that listening to the single 'Pray', made in collaboration with Agust D, was especially painful due to the vulnerability being expressed through such raw lyrics that seemed poured directly from their hearts. However it was her solo track 'Shadow' in the group's most recent album that made the heaviest impression not only for the heartbreaking side of the story but also the interesting production techniques she had used, each being carefully crafted to fit a specific narration.

Throughout the two hour long video netizens were able to witness a connection slowly form between these two artists, with the eldest having prepared some activities such as a short painting session as well as cooking dinner to break the ice. Despite the maknae's initial nervousness towards being alone with one of her favorite rappers , conversation seemed to flow rather easily due to her senior's attentive listening and their time together ended with a warm hug along with a promise to meet again in the near future.

The conversation topics ranged from lighthearted ones such as small anecdotes from their respective lives or the senior's endless curiosity regarding his junior's creative mind to much darker themes such as mental health, but in the end both seemed so at ease with one another's presence that there was never a dull moment.

'You seem like you make friends very easily' Yongguk had remarked. 'Your personality is very warm, even though when you first arrive at my home you seemed very nervous...I think I saw your hands shaking a little bit.'

The last few minutes revealed that he had requested she leave the painting done during their short activity, proceeding to frame it in his living room, claiming that it added life into the house and would ensure he is always reminded of this encounter. The vocalist on the other hand excitedly showed off a polaroid already placed in her phone case to the camera, the image simply being the two posing cutely yet meaning much more to her as the rapper had been an idol of hers for a very long time.

Other artists from older generations have expressed a desire to meet the rapidly rising songwriter, with legendary rapper G-Dragon sharing songs produced by her through Instagram stories with encouraging phrases in which he often conveyed support.

'The songs she created for Taemin had something that seperated them from other albums coming out at the time, so I really want to work with her one day.' Taeyang (BIGBANG)

'We've talked briefly a few times and it always seemed like she had so many things to share, so I'd like to hear them. She's also one of the few people who truly excels in every aspect of the industry.' Moonbyul (MAMAMOO)

'Your sister [to Yoongi] takes after you for a lot of things it seems, both with the outspoken lyrics and never ending creativity. How old was she when she started working with Taemin...18? She's still young but already so influential. You should bring her with you next time so we can meet.' IU

'She's worked with us...twice I think, on 'Reason' and 'NO LIMIT'. I didn't see her a lot because of schedules but when I listened to the drafts she made I was really impressed by what she created alone. She's improved a lot since then so I'd like to meet up for an album again.' Joohoney (MONSTA X)

While the maknae is sparking quite the conversations amongst the industry's most notable names, ATEEZ as a whole have been rapidly climbing their way to the top lately, with media outlets granting them the title of 'Powerhouse of K-Pop'. Netizens are already bracing themselves for the upcoming comeback on May 31st, which promises to shake the charts once more as they challenge themselves to work even harder.

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[seoftbear]

TW

discussing the taeil situation

As I’m sure many of you have seen that Taeil was removed/left NCT due to Sexual Offense Allegations.

“On August 29, the Seoul Bangbae Police Station revealed that the police booked Taeil after a report was filed in June for alleged sexual offense.

According to the police, Taeil is being investigated after being reported by legal adult woman “A.”

source

First off I’d like to say that obviously Im absolutely disgusted with Taeil and this entire thing makes me feel sick. I know they won’t see this but my thoughts are with those effected by this and I’m glad she had the courage to speak out and I hope she gets the support and justice that she wants during this time.

Now I’d like to talk about what has been weighing on me personally about this situation? I tend to stay off of twitter but I’ve seen a lot of links and post being circulated in the last 24 hours about this and it’s been really killing me.

As of now the police have booked Taeil back in June and he is being investigated by police for sexual offense, currently that’s all of the information that’s been confirmed by authorities. (I linked the article above and that has a link to the Naver article too.)

I’m sure some of you guys may be younger and haven’t truly grasped the full gravity of this, but misinformation can really damage cases like this especially as a woman.

Unfortunately the internet spread fake news fast and screenshots and stories have been circulating on twt/tiktok social media in general being translated and mistranslated from numerous different languages and people are just adding to the narrative for the drama it seems like… (please understand that even if something is in a different language and “translated” it does not make it facts.) I’ve seen others ask people where the source was for the information they got and then get called “Taeil defenders” when they just wanted to know where the information came from in the first place. I also read comments where people were saying that it didn’t matter if it was misinformation?

This is someone’s life we are talking about and seeing people say “they can’t wait for certain youtube channels to make videos about this because they need all of the details” or “they’ve been searching for more information all day and have come up with etc etc.” is really disheartening to see it be made into a spectacle. There’s only been one statement from the police as I’m aware of and in under 24 hours twt has finalized and circulated a story that has no source.

Unfortunately this stuff will happen because it’s the internet regardless and people are curious and in shock so wanting details on something is understandable but please understand that this is someone’s life not just backlash and justice against Taeil.

Speaking out isn’t easy and speaking out against a celebrity under big company? I can’t imagine, so please please please think about what you are posting and reposting. It’s not you supporting the victim, it’s just spreading gossip, theories/speculations, and can really tamper with the case guys. This is already a traumatizing experience and now it’s public and people are prying to know details about something so horrible and invasive??? At the end of the day if no statements are released about details or information and you are upset please take a step back and really think what for.

With this Ive seen a lot of people talk about parasocial relationships, how you don’t know these men, all men are men at the end of the day, don’t trust your favs etc etc. Though I definitely agree with you don’t know the people you like at the end of the day, I think that everyone knows that to some extent. However I don’t think parasocial relationship or not knowing someone is to blame when this kind of stuff happens, rather it’s normal to believe that someone you admire/like is cool person especially if portrayed that way. The thing about abusers/assaulters is that they can be anyone, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t trust anyone and that all people/idols are secretly awful but it’s more about that it’s not anyone’s fault for believing that they were a good person. So if anyone is going through that “ I can’t believe I liked someone like that” feeling that’s okay. It’s not your fault and you’re allowed to work through them.

that’s all

sorry if this is too long and makes no sense or comes off wrong or disrespectful please let me know kindly

[givrally]

You can't say "Everything humans make is art" right after a whole tirade about how AI isn't art.

Hi op here

I CAN actually.

The machine made to make "AI" is art. Its engineering+programming. Which are crafts and a highly difficult ones.

What that machine makes however is NOT art. Its not even true artificial intelligence. Its just a bunch of stolen work cut up and pieced back together using complicated programming. What is produced is not art. What made it however is. Its a feat of accomplishment that we can get a machine to do that kind of stuff

But what it makes is not art.

Feel like @snitchanon would have a field day with all this.

So Photoshop itself is art, but works done in photoshop aren't art ? It's engineering and programming, but what it makes is not art. It's just clicking buttons and dragging the mouse until you get what you want.

As for true AI, yeah, I actually agree with you in no small part. What we call "AI" right now is nowhere close to having any kind of intelligence, we're basically making a very complicated math function with many parameters and tweaking it until it spits out the right output. There's very little explainability (it's a black box for the most part, we don't know what goes on inside or why this particular input), and every year there's a paper titled something like "We Fucked Up : How we evaluate [field of deep learning] is flawed and gives the illusion of progress".

As for the ethical issues with using stolen works, yeah, I'm completely with you, that's a dealbreaker for me, and unlearning (=getting from a model trained on a dataset to a model trained on a dataset w/o some data, without having to retrain everything, but being 100% sure the excluded data doesn't leave a single trace) is too new as a subject of research to even be usable for the next few years, so for me, AI Art generators are a big no-no.

(Also, the online ones take as much of your personal data as they can, so I'd avoid those like the plague)

HOWEVER, what "AI" image generation does isn't to cut up stolen work and put it back together, that's a myth. I don't know how this started but I've heard that said like three or four times already, it's way too specific a definition to have evolved independently so there must be a Youtuber out there to blame.

It's like saying Photoshop just takes pixels from stolen works and weaves them in the right order to make a new image. That's technically true, but it's a stupid definition that gives Photoshop way more credit than it's due. Likewise, AI image generators don't look through a database to find the right image, cut out the part they like, and add it to their final product. Otherwise, why do you think AI art would have all those problems with hands, buildings, etc... ? There can't be that many people out there drawing weird 7 fingered hands, I know some people have trouble drawing hands but not to that extent.

What they do instead (or rather what they did, because I don't know enough about the newest diffusion models to explain them in an intuitive way), is deconvolutions, basically "reversing" the operation (convolutions) that takes in a grid of numbers (image) and reduces it to a small list of numbers. With deconvolutions, you give it a small list of numbers, at random, and it slowly unravels that into an image. Without tweaking the thousands or millions of parameters, you're gonna end up with random noise as an image.

To "train" those, what you do is you pair it with another "AI", called a discriminator, that will do convolutions instead to try and guess whether the image is real or made by the generator. The generator will learn to fool the discriminator and the discriminator will try to find the flaws in the generator.

Think Youtube vs AdBlock. Adblockers are the discriminator and Youtube is the generator. Youtube puts out new ads and pop-ups that don't trigger ad blockers, and ad blockers in return fix those flaws and block the ads. After a month of fighting, it turns out ad blockers have become so good that other websites have a lot of trouble getting ads past them. You've "trained" ad blockers.

The most important thing to note is that the training data isn't kept in storage by the models, both in the adblock example and in AI image generators. It doesn't pick and choose parts to use, it's just that the millions of tiny parameters were modified thanks to the training data. You can sometimes see parts of the training data shine through, though. That's called overfitting, and it's very bad !

In the middle, the model won't remember every O and X out there. It drew a curve that roughly separates the two, and depending on where a new point falls compared to that curve, it can guess if it's an O or an X without having access to the original data. However, in the example on the right, even if you remove all the O and X marks, you can still make out the individual points and guess that those holes mean an X was in there. The model cannot generalize past what it's seen, and if there's ten thousand variables instead of just two, that means you could change a single one slightly and get nonsense results. The model simply hasn't learned correctly. For image generation, that means parts of the training data can sometimes shine through, which is probably how the "cut up and piece back stolen images" myth came to be.

The reason I don't like to use AI image generators is twofold : 1. Right now, all the models out there have or are likely to have seen stolen data in their training dataset. In the state of AI right now, I really don't believe any model out there is free of overfitting, so parts of that will shine through. 2. Even if there's no overfitting, I don't think it's very ethical at all. (And 3. the quality just isn't there and I'd rather commission an artist)

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean I agree with you guys' new luddite movement. "Everything humans make is art except when they use AI" is not a good argument, just like "It's not art because you didn't move the pixels yourself" or "AI cuts up and pieces back stolen images". The first two give "I piss in Duchamp's fountain uncritically" vibes, and the last one gives "Don Quixote fighting windmills" vibes.

[vellichorom]

Hello! I’m new to the Stanley Parable fandom (as in 3 days ago oop) and I’ve heard about the Narratorverse? I’m confused as to what that is. (Also, if you have any advice of people to follow in this fandom, I’m all ears!)

WELL WELL WELL! allow me to welcome you to the fandom & introduce you to it's most recent development ( as the technical hand in it's creation & persistence(?) )! may you enjoy it AND your stay here, there's PLENTY to consume & a little something for everyone, i think!

now, into the narratorverse;

TDLR; the Narratorverse is this idea that every Narrator / alternative TSP design exist in a multiverse & frequently mingle with each other in Tumblr & Discord events.

however, below is where I've compiled EVERY detail & piece of history to this monster in the fandom, so feel free to dive below & educate yourself thoroughly.

otherwise! i'm not really good at just Offering people to follow, as everybody brings something to the table & I hate to risk forgetting / neglecting one user over another, so I HAPPILY encourage other TSP artists to reblog this & promote themselves! ALSO! just dig through the tag long enough & you'll find TONS of amazing artists & creators to follow ( avoid rh/ad/ko like the plague ), I promise it's worth the treck!

Narratorverse Expansive Lore You Can Slap On a Wiki Below;

for the best experience, please read this to yourself in a generic " youtuber introduces & reviews niche topic " voice,

" the Narratorverse, " ALSO known as " the Paraverse " is an "AU" / fandom-wide concept in which every & all personal iteration of The Stanley Parable ( with a heavy focus on the designs of the Narrator ) from the fandom co-exist & mingle in a big, expansive multiverse.

if I'm not mistaken, this OFFICIALLY got started when the tumblr poll function started getting incorporated onto the site & @tsp-narrator-ask would grab up a handful of individual Narrator designs to feature in a " Sexiest Narrator " competition, where - of course, the fandom & any tumblr user alike could vote for their respective favorite design or whichever they found "sexiest" ( loosely ).

this whole competition inspired some participants of the competition ( including yours truly ) to make in-character commentary art, featuring their Narrator reacting to their BEING in the competition or otherwise campaigning for themselves not to lose / the aftermath of their losing; a lot of which would include their Narrator being thrown into some cruel & unusual punishment by the host of the competition. for le giggles. ( the latter linked post is the reason why MY narrator is referred to as Salad Boy, )

with the door open for it, this would spark some MORE drawn, in-character commentary, featuring contestants of the Sexyman Competition-- & even just anyone with a Narrator design who wanted to participate in the shenanigans, all gathered together like this competition & everything involved with it was this big party/event they were all called from their creators to get in on.

a lot of this commentary was featured in MASS REBLOGS, with everyone adding a little response to one's post; the main ones being THIS one, & the Unfathomably Popular Salad Thread, the latter of which, not to pat myself on the back for starting it, but I think REALLY popularized the concept of the " Narrator Multiverse, " & would lead things to escalate FAR beyond the initial Sexyman Competition.

NOW, there's an official Narratorverse / Paraverse roleplay / hangout server that features many ( if not everyone ) featured in these threads, there's other TSP servers that carry the lore & relationships from these events, & there's been a trend instilled of other, similar mass reblog threads that keep with the continuity of the last ones, but also branch out to expand on multiversal shenanigans with everyone allowed to participate.

-such as @blackkatdraws's Gluetrap Thread, the aftermath of THAT, this smaller " thread " featuring my arrator finding @tsp-narrator-ask's kid, & I think there might have even been a few started with the recently held Narratorverse Hunger Games that I just can't account for / didn't get to keep up with.

ALL OF THESE OBVIOUSLY tying into & ONLY adding onto the idea of this multiverse of Narrators & Stanley Parable alternatives alike & popularizing it into this own little delectable square of the fandom in which the community can really come together for some utmost silliness OR actual worldbuilding, given everyone in-character & out of character gets to reflect on every alternative interpretation of the game we're ALL here for.

& that's just about the full " history " of what this whole Narratorverse / Paraverse is! feel free to hop the bandwagon yourself!

who knows, your alternative interpretations could be what the fandom follow next!

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of May 2024

[last month]

May 2024 was finals + road trip home from uni + getting settled in at home for the summer, so the songs on this month's list were the soundtrack to a really busy time for me. (Because of that, I'm extra grateful to them for helping me power through it all!) I didn't have the brainspace to be properly excited about any new releases (except Repion's at the end of the month), so a lot of the songs here kind of snuck up on me. Surprisingly, I'd still say I enjoyed May's releases more than April's, though!

1. Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

The Drake-Kendrick beef finally graced my YouTube recommended at the beginning of May, just in time for "Not Like Us" to save me from the Inevitable Finals Gloom. The beat was what hooked me at first (so string instrument!! so texture!!), but there are SO MANY good lines here--more than enough to keep me excited about this song, even after I massively overplayed it in just a few days of finals. (I'm a 'leave songs on repeat for hours as I float in and out of The Work Vortex' kind of guy, you know?)

2. Candy Store -- from the 2014 Heathers soundtrack

No complicated reason here: the vocal performances are just breathtaking, so I haven't been able to get this song off my mind for the past two weeks. Shoutout to @embraceofday for introducing me to this one! (That was a couple of years ago, I think, but somehow it came back to me recently, and I've been more obsessed than ever!)

3. Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl -- yeule

I've been getting ads for I Saw the TV Glow all month, and they worked on me--sort of? I still have no plans to see the movie, but this song from the trailer has taken my listening by storm. Lyzette G on YouTube mentioned yeule last year (I am SO jealous of their taste in music), so I'm proud to say I like a yeule song now! This is peak 'driving home on the highway at night and your heart is all sparkles because she said she'll text you later', which is one of my favorite kinds of music, actually. (Yes, this is oddly specific. But it's also like A General Feeling, you know?) It's eerily inhuman but also full of longing; it keeps a consistent, hazy atmosphere while still including a few moments of emotional punch--it's great!!

4. Down Swinging -- Holly Humberstone

Saxophone solo!!!!!!! That actually isn't my favorite part of this song, though--the way Holly Humberstone sings "watch me keep my cool tonight" at the end of every chorus is full of just SO many emotions--shame, determination, acceptance, longing--I find it captivating (really, every lyric in this chorus is a gem). I love songs like this (see also: Betty Who's "You Can Cry Tomorrow" and Lee Hi's "HOLO"), songs that aren't about being over something bad but are just about being within something bad and getting by anyway. Being stuck, and knowing you're stuck, and being okay regardless? Sometimes, I just need to know that's possible, and "Down Swinging" makes it feel more real than ever.

5. I'm the Ocean -- Neil Young

My dad and I ran across this on our (twelve-hour) drive home from my university, while we were listening through this playlist. My dad is a huge Neil Young fan, while I'm just meh about him--"I'm the Ocean" caught my attention from first listen, though, and I've been revisiting it daily since then. (Funny enough, my dad doesn't care for this one.) I love its haziness, how it walks the line between hopelessness and rage and how you're never exactly sure how to feel about the speaker, or about the song itself. I love singing "I'm the ocean / I'm a giant undertow". (Like, that is a captivating lyric. So powerful, so simple yet so layered with meaning?) I love the crunchy TV-static guitar!!!

6. From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come) [Live at Malieveld...] -- Bruce Springsteen

Spotify keeps notifying me whenever Springsteen releases a new compilation album (they know me too well...)--and he just keeps releasing them. I'm not sure I needed all these albums, but I'm glad to get this gem, at least! This one has a super-singable chorus, and the fiddle solo is SUCH a high.

7. Turn it up -- PinkPantheress

Not particularly exciting, but super fun! It's a solid serotonin jam to go on a playlist with all the early Twice title tracks.

8. No Biggie -- Itzy

SO CUTE SO CUTE I LOVE IT. With "None of My Business" + this one, I've been so glad to see how well the post-NewJeans world suits Itzy. My main problem with a lot of their music, especially title tracks, is that the songs strain their vocals in ways that end up sounding unpleasant to me--a chilled-out song like this one reminds me just how listenable Itzy's music can be!

9. Rollercoaster - MTV Unplugged -- Bleachers

I think Spotify suggested this one to me. I am THE Bleachers girlie, but I'd never heard this specific version of "Rollercoaster" and oh my GOD does it make me emotional. If you've ever cried to "Someone to You" by Banners, I think you already understand what this one makes me feel.

10. The Ghost of Tom Joad (feat. Tom Morello) - Live in Anaheim, CA -- Bruce Springsteen

My #1 song from my #1 artist!! (Sorry, "Badlands". Your top spot was beautiful while it lasted, and we've had so many good times, but I just... I don't think you're the one for me anymore...) I did an essay about Springsteen for one of my finals, believe it or not, and I talked about this song in particular, so that explains the sudden spike in listens--though it's constantly in my rotation regardless.

11. Wave - Ollounder's Bold Dynamics Mix -- Ateez

It's a time-honored tradition, now: trashy club remixes are my THING during finals. This one stuck with me all month, though, because it's actually kind of compelling--I find it fun, even when I'm not speedrunning a final paper. "Wave" is just a really sweet song already, and I think this remix adds a variety of sounds that make it not just pleasant, but also super captivating.

12. Lookalike -- Conan Gray

No comment...

13. Set Me Free (Lindgren Remix) -- Twice

Re: trashy club remixes for finals. This is so trash, I can't even argue that it's worth listening to at any time other than finals season. (The synth riffs in the prechorus are kind of awesome, actually, but the vocals sound like you're listening to them through a tin can telephone.) It was a great hype song while I studied, though.

14. Maybe -- (G)I-DLE

My second-favorite G-IDLE song ever (though I have no idea how I'll make room for "Eyes Roll" and "Revenge" in an updated top ten) is never not welcome on my most-listened list, but I have no idea why this is here. Maybe I left it on repeat while working on a paper? It has the right kind of beat drop to give me the same kick of adrenaline as my trashy club remixes do--though in terms of how much I admire it, "Maybe" is on a whole different level!

15. BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

This is a wildly addictive song. The Gwen Stefani sample is such a good hook, but it's used so sparingly that I'm left hanging on Megan's every word, waiting for it to appear again. The deep bass makes the song feel full, though--by the end, I'm left wanting more without feeling like the listening experience was actually incomplete. My favorite line is definitely the Birkenstocks one; I still smile every time I hear it! I'm so excited for the album :)

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

Lime -- Soojin

With just a few twists on a sweet, summery formula, "Lime" manages to stand out from the pack of cheery dance songs coming out at this time of year. The orchestral intro is so exciting, and the weirdly gritty vocal production (I still have no idea why anyone would consider that on a song like this--this album has some truly baffling production choices amid all the fantastic ones) unexpectedly grew on me. This song does sweet-and-sour so well!!

[Speaking of baffling production choices: "Drop Top" from this same album is a very nice listen, but what the hell is happening in the bridge... It would totally be a five-star song for me if not for that screechy violin (?) note in the dance break. Like. Why. Why would you just repeat the same ear-piercing note. The whole time. Have you considered a riff? Or making it just a TAD BIT quieter? Or just... a lower note? Anyway. Also, the ENTIRE title track, "Mona Lisa", is a baffling production choice. Just. The whole thing.]

Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

Summer Daze -- Soojin

I like "Lime" a lot more than this one, but I can't help but admire "Summer Daze" too! I'm so in love with how it's a pop b-side just feels so authentically indie-rock? Like, "Más Lejos" by Atalhos was one of my favorite songs of the summer last year, and that's an actual indie-rock song--and it feels like everyone who had a hand in "Summer Daze" understood exactly why people enjoy that type of song & decided to write a love letter to the genre. This track would fit right in with anyone's wistful k-indie playlist!

Entre todas lo arreglamos (album) -- Repion

Yeah, fuck it--I added Repion to the stanlist this month! After this EP, how could I not? The pre-release "El día no me da" had my heart already--it was so similar to their last album, though, that I found it a tad bit boring. But as an opener for a song like "Viernes", "El día no me da" reaches its full potential; it functions so perfectly that my qualms completely disappear. "El día no me da" builds up the energy to this delightful high, and then "Viernes" is the rollercoaster ride back down, full of twists and turns--I love the experimentation with rhythm, which continues in "Qué hay de ti?". It adds such a nice edge to the album; even though this release retains the things that drew me to Repion in the first place--strong vocals and incessant energy--it feels anything but boilerplate. This EP has only one flaw, and it's the kazoo-sounding thing that shows up in "Vienen de pasárselo bien". Maybe it's a perfectly lovely instrument in other contexts, but I think it just sounds silly here, and I really would rather just appreciate their (always delightful) harmonies in peace. Those harmonies do save the song for me, though! To be fair, this album only has four songs--putting it in the albums category is kind of a stretch--but these four songs are packed with enough interesting ideas to make this the fullest EP I've heard in forever. (Plus, Repion gets extra-credit points for releasing my album of the year--a full-length one, too--last year.) I'm not sure if this EP will turn out to be a smaller part of an upcoming album, but I really hope so--I love this sound for them!

[harrypotterprops]

Is anybody here?

It's been years since I used tumblr for the last time and I noticed my blog was and still being so popular here. I started this as a secondary blog for compiling and sharing images that I found useful for doing props. I'm not a graphic designer although I have basic notions.

I leaved that for many reasons:

- First of all, discovering Wizardry Workshop on YouTube (then known as Muggle Magic). I saw the amazing job Danny did with the Chocolate Card printables. His channel and works grew in popularity and quality and, as a fan, he does everything I need for doing crafts. Continuing compiling pngs and jpgs and doing very basic edits became nonsense while having his amazing work avaliable.

- I compiled a lot of stuff and finding new ones began to be harder.

- I was really disgusted by Tumblr's the new politics and UX: censorship, ads, payment functions...

- There was less content related to the Fantastic Beasts franchise and, sadly it was not the same and I didn't like it as much as the main saga. On the other hand, Wizardry Workshop has amazing material and tutorials.

- College, adulthood and health in general.

My love with HP graphic design started in the middle 2000s when I was little and making little crafts with designs made by people on deviantart or myself in paint was a way for feeling this amazing world more real and feeling part of it.

I saw some messages and comments asking for some content and also selling props. I'm sorry for never answering the requests and I'm so thankful for the positive feedback. Although it was never the purpose of this blog selling anything and it's illegal as I'm not the original designer nor related to Minalima or WB. By the contrary, if I ever had an intention, it was promoting the DIY culture by making it easier to have accurate resources as it was so hard to find screen accurate content.

I'll try to share new things I'll find here but:

If you're really interested on DIY, replicas, HP's graphic design be sure you check first:

1. Wizardry Workshop (YT, his own website, etc.)

2. Magyar_wizard_workshop for inspiration and reference. They do the replicas I've never done.

2. magicalpropreference (Instagram)

3. Nurmengart (Instagram)

4. Alarmeighteen and Mondomago for fully readable premium book replicas

Have a nice day!

PS: Sorry for the grammar but I'm Spanish and I'm too lazy for checking or using google translator.

[ladytauria]

tauria hello!!! i have ask game questions for you!!! placing them in your inbox like a cat bringing you a dead mouse 💕

🌵🪐🦷🪲🌸

hahaha hi bean, thank u sm for the asks! i give you answers the same way i praise my cats for their hunting skills

🌵 → share the link to a playlist you love

I don't actually listen to a lot of playlists—or, well. I do, but generally I listen to those like. Either the aesthetic comps on youtube or ones I curated for me lmao. And um. I don’t have links for the latter shsjdjdj And the aesthetic ones get flagged all the time :/

UM but as an apology for the lack of an actual playlist, have this song that was the inspiration for me to finally put together a jaytim playlist: Gently Break It - Beck Pete

🪐 → name three good things going on in your life right now

I have wonderful friends who I love and enjoy talking to!

I made cookies today! Chocolate chip w toffee pieces. I remembered the brown sugar this time (I make them from a cake mix, lmao, bc it gives u more cookies than a cookie mix in my experience) and they came out nice and chewy :) I’m so happy it’s cooled off enough that baking doesn’t feel horrible

It’s getting cooler so I am much comfier and also my cat snuggles with me at night more instead of abandoning me for the hotter

🦷 → share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Uhhh, hm. Something writing focused: when I wrap up writing time for the day, if I don’t have an outline or if I’ve deviated from my plans too much, I try to write a summary of my intent/plans, just in case I’m not able to return to the WIP the next day.

🧩 → add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

this is a few more than 50 words, Imao, but I added some of the previous lines for context, lol. anyway, this is bruce/jaybin aob smut <3

He doesn't, because he wants gentleness for Jason, this first time. And many times after, too.

Wants him to know the luxury of soft touches in the most intimate of ways and places, to be spoiled and loved and shown all the ways he can be made to feel good.

Not, he thinks, that Jason will be content with that forever.

Not the way he runs headfirst into danger these days, as Robin. The drive to protect and teenage hormones run wild, fueling the anger long burning under his skin—

Yes, Bruce thinks it won't be too long at all before Jason brings all that pushing and testing and brashness here, too.

It is fortunately much easier to subdue a bratty omega than it is a righteous Robin.

🌸 → do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I do! I have two lovely little kitties <3 I used to have three, but unfortunately I had to say goodbye to my oldest, Tauri, three months ago (she was 13)—I'm including a picture of her anyway though.

In order from left to right, this is Tauri, George, and Little Bit!

[fromtenthousandfeet]

https://x.com/97901_sue/status/1837382052729311473?t=AkNYU_IdWzar_rrDeie5Ew&s=19

Idk if he's achieved the money they were hoping his album would bring but he definitely got more fans than any other members. The songs that were chosen were of general public taste more than any other members'. Of course we know the Maknae line is already more Famous than others but he definitely gained a lot more fans like at least they succeeded in this. There's always some idols or other celebrities mentioning his songs and it's not just seven or not they do mention the b-sides as well. One thing i can say is that if currently there's one idol who's most popular then that's definitely him in general not talking about specific parts. The songs from Golden are known. I know the company pushing him helped A LOT but it's still about his vocal ability that i think attracts more ppl plus the choreo for those songs were also something that gp would love not too complicated not too easy. He Especially gained a lot more in sk cause so many idols mention him.

And i really hope someone won't say that I'm a jjk in disguise cause I'm not. Just saying what i saw. Would have said the same if it was any other member instead of him.

I'm really not convinced Jungkook picked up a ton of fans due to SEVEN or his album. Don't confuse successful marketing with actual committed fans.

Marketing exists for a reason - because it works! HYBE spent an INSANE amount of money marketing SEVEN, and Golden to a lesser extent. SEVEN was basically unavoidable if you were on TikTok. And if you weren't on that platform, you got hit by auto play on Spotify, or forced ads on YouTube. Hearing something enough times makes it familiar. Recognizing a song is kind of comforting. You may sing along even if you don't really love the song.

I get so many asks about Jungkook. Why me??? Stop, I beg you!

Here are my honest opinions about JK:

He's overhyped. At the end of the day, he's just a typical Gen Z dude in an extraordinary situation.

The songs I've heard from Golden sound dated and dull.

His voice is nothing special. I don't care how much training he's had. It's nasal and devoid of emotion. He sounds better when he sings in his lower register, but that doesn't work well in pop music, where almost all the male singers are tenors. His falsetto is unlistenable.

He's a mockingbird. He can mimic famous singers, but he himself has no signature sound or artistic point of view.

I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift. I don't hate her, but I don't actively search out her music. I'm fine listening to her songs when I hear them in public or on the radio. I think it's great that she's so successful. I'm totally fine with her enormous fandom. This is where I'm trying to get with Jungkook. It would be easy to feel indifferent to him and his potential success if all members of BTS were given equal treatment by the company. I would simply say, "congratulations on your success as a solo artist and good luck in your future endeavors." The problem, of course, is the fact that BigHit/HYBE openly sabotages Jimin, copies Jimin, and gives him the bare minimum of tools for success. They aren't really doing any favors for the remaining five members, either.

Jimin has something Jungkook doesn't have, and that's the most dedicated global fandom imaginable. It's an organized fandom who keep him on the charts despite the odds. Jungkook just has lots of tools, including basic pop songs specifically written for a western audience, infinite versions, covers, and remixes, and an unfathomable marketing budget, all of which almost guarantee his success. You just can't compare the two.

Yikes. I'm long winded as usual, but here's what I'd like to end with. I hope Jimin will continue to write his own music. I hope he will continue to dazzle us with his own style of dance, incorporating contemporary and street style. I hope he pushes boundaries. Jungkook can have the huge global pop star title. I am in no way obligated to consume his music or content. Equally, I won't mind if others do.

[simlicious]

Personal update

It's been a while since I wrote a longer personal post, so here we go. Long wall of text incoming!

I am not focused on making patterns so much as I am trying to make a tutorial on making them. Yesterday, I dived into making an explanatory animation and editing a short video clip I recorded. But adding transitions, titles, hints, etc, that stuff takes AGES. I have definitely gained a new level of respect for YouTubers!

Generally, I struggle a lot to get into any project and keep working on it. I'm 95% sure I have ADHD because the struggles I face are textbook ADHD. I have watched a lot of videos recently on ADHD, and especially also how symptoms manifest in women. I was the kid who always daydreamed in school. Who would go "ssssh!" angrily to classmates who were giggling/disrupting, because I got so distracted by it. I had to put all my energy into paying attention. I studied for tests on the last day or during the break before the lesson because I had no motivation beforehand. I had a hard time doing homework, I was just not motivated to do it and made a lot of careless mistakes too, especially with maths.

TBH, I've always felt really bad about showing so many WIPS and getting people's hopes up, and whenever I promise to get them done in a certain timeframe I meant what I said. But I often disappoint myself and you guys too because I often cannot pick up or work on a project. I know I want to finish it and that it would get me a satisfying feeling and probably praise from you guys, but it's still not enough motivation. It's like there is an invisible barrier and I cannot get through it. I often do not know myself why I can't do it. Whenever I do manage to pick up a project, I often have a good experience and at least make some progress on it. But it does not mean the next time is any easier 😭

I have some projects that are almost done, and there is just a little something to do and I just cannot bring myself to finish them. It's really frustrating. I have periods where I can just go with the flow and pick up whatever I can do and do not agonize as much about not being able to tackle bigger projects. But the tutorial project is one of the few goals I set for myself this year, and the year is more than half over already. I want to finally make some progress!

I realized why I am good at making patterns: They take a short amount of time, often between 15 minutes and 4 hours depending on the complexity, though most I can finish in an hour. I do not have to wait long until I can first test the new CC in my game, which is generally a very gratifying experience., since most of the time, the patterns are fine. But whenever they need to be tweaked again, I tend to put that off. It's really hard to pick them up because the gratification is not as high as the initial loading up. My brain is just not getting a high enough dose of dopamine from it, and it's like nope, why bother.

I also get into phases of hyperfocus, and in those, I can work 8 hours straight on a mesh, but once that streak is over... well, RIP WIP. And I can never finish a meshing project in one go. The base mesh might be finished, but then I need to make LODs, morphs, the textures... I often spend an initial 8 hours on one creation, and 20 more to revise stuff later on. I am also bad at judging how much time something takes, with some of my projects it's probably more like 40 hours that went into them already. Most notably a project I titled Exquisite Comfort Sweater. I have revised it 3 times I think, and I am still not done or satisfied with it:

The problems are not obvious from screenshots, there are texture flaws (which can be hidden nicely with patterns, and since the pattern tiling is so good I have used that cardigan often as a way to preview my patterns), but also bone and morph problems. I would not want to release a creation that is broken in my eyes. It might still work for posing and screenshots, but I want people to be able to play with my creations and not get distracted by terrible bone assignments. With this example, the custom bulky sleeves are what create a problem with the bones and morphs. They are just too different from EA's stuff and there is no good reference to clone those from. Hence I need to do manual edits, but that also involves a lot of trial and error. I recently learned how to tweak the bones manually in Blender, so I know I have the tools I need to elevate that to the level where I wanted it all along. But motivating myself to open that blender file still seems impossible.

My perfectionism compels me to enter a loop of creating, testing, seeing something I do not like, and having to do the cycle all over again. Because often, fixing a tiny thing also means I have to redo morphs,. LODS, textures, it takes ages to fix something. And then if I still don't like it, I have to do it a third time. Once my hyperfocus is over, the thing is just left in whatever state it was when I stopped.

I cannot bear to throw away any of my works in progress, because I do go back to some of them sometimes. But it really only happens very rarely that I finish something.

I spend a lot of time meshing and creating stuff, but it just never gets to a releasable state. So I probably have the same experience as someone who has published 100 meshes but I just have nothing to show for it. It sucks so much 😭

And I have been wanting to make tutorials about creating CC for AGES. In the past, I've written down written ones on a whim, but this time, I want to make video tutorials, because most people find them easier to grasp and more digestible. I have good ideas, and I have the knowledge to pass on, it really makes me sad to see so many people wanting to create CC but struggling to find good tutorials and resources. I want to help, I have the knowledge, but I struggle so much with getting things done. I start and I get overwhelmed. I get lost in details. My anxiety perks up. To say this is frustrating is an understatement. Whenever I publish a pattern collection, it feels as huge as writing a term paper. And I feel proud of myself when it is done and out, but it also exhausts me. I really wish I could put out content more frequently. That it wasn't such a huge deal, such a struggle.

I hardly even make goals anymore because most I never reach anyway, because I cannot walk that road. It's like I get off the path and get horribly lost.

And I really am sorry about not being able to keep promises. I often don't even mention stuff I am working on, but I sometimes do need the input/dopamine from my lovely blog readers to keep going.

I think if I declare a deadline, that will help me finish a project. It sometimes works, but then sometimes it does not. And it sometimes makes me want to write "unreliable" in my tumblr profile, but that feels so harsh and I need to show compassion toward myself if I want to make progress.

Lately, I have watched a lot of "tips and strategies for ADHD" videos. One video addressed something very important: the fact that people with ADHD can get bored with a certain strategy and then it just does not work anymore. So I cannot trust a habit to work forever, because out of the blue, that trusty strategy may just stop working.

Finding strategies that work is difficult, and getting into a new habit is even harder. I feel like life is rigged against me and my struggles are mostly unseen because my wins are not flashy at all. For me, cleaning my apartment is a big deal. Taking a walk with my best friends 2 times a week feels like a full week. We even go when it's raining. Two years ago, I would never thought this possible, but this shows me that I am making progress. The progress is just in areas that remain unseen, that do not produce big results, nothing to put in a resume, or in a portfolio.

I'm writing all this because I have been especially upset and frustrated with my inability to work lately. And I'm sad that I cannot create the resources for you the way I want to. That everything takes me so much longer than I anticipated. That I make promises that I cannot keep.

I need to get my frustrations out of my system so I can focus on small wins and hope they eventually add up to a big one.

If you happen to know some good ADHD resources or strategies that you have experience with, feel free to share them, they are much appreciated!

[totaltrashmammall13]

Total Trash Mammal Base-Game Friendly Save

The plan is to have the three main towns done upon release, but I plan on upgrading the packs one by one as well in the future.

Let me show you what this is about

Remodeling Pre-existing Homes and Families

Pictured Left: The Spencer-Kim-Lewis Home remodeled Pictured Right: Alice and her daughter Olivia

Some of the homes made in the early days of the Sims 4 were god-awful, and I think we can all agree on that. For example, the Spencer-Kim-Lewis home was a monstrosity. Many of the child sims, much like in Sims 3, seem to have been made without anyone looking at their future life stages. This leads to some very odd-looking people in your next generation (and not just the newly generated townies.) The pre-existing sims have now gotten a bit of a refresh, both in their homes and their mirrors.

Recreating Families from Previous Titles

Pictured Left: Holly Alto brought into the base game Pictured Right: Teens Angela Pleasant and Dustin Broke

Many beloved families from previous titles were seemingly missing in the Sims 4 "Alternate Universe" when the game came out. Later on, certain sims were brought back locked behind expensive expansion packs, and completely unrecognizable. This save brings classics to the base game! The Alto's, the Burb's, the Pleasant's, the Broke's, and more! I also chose to stick to the idea of an alternate universe to bring back from the dead some sims further back in these family trees.

Established Stories and Skills

Pictured Left: Darren Dreamer working on a pop-art painting Pictured Right: Nancy Landgraab arguing with her estranged son Johnny

"What do you mean there's a love triangle, these people don't even know each other! And why does nobody in the game know how to cook?!" If that sounds like something you've said before then this is the save for you! It's hard for story-loving sims players to jump into a pre-made household just to learn that they might as well have started from scratch. In the TTM save, pre-made sims have pre-established friends, lovers, enemies, skills, and careers. There are also some new stories to be played you may or may not have expected from your favorite characters.

Updated and Simplified Public Lots

Pictured Left: A new toddler-inclusive kids section in the library Pictured Right: A base game wedding chapel in downtown Willow Creek

Now, you may be thinking; "Why do I want the lots to be simplified? Some of them are pretty sparse already!" And I have an answer for you. The game will only spawn in so many Sims once you enter a public lot, yet their builds are often very large with everything spread out. Not to mention they had strict item limits when the base worlds were first being created. This leads to these places feeling empty, both with people and decor.

Many of these family-friendly lots now also accommodate infants and toddlers, who they neglected to add before release. We've also added base lot types that weren't originally included, such as wedding venues.

Please follow my tumblr and youtube for updates if you are interested!

[0zzysaurus]

do u have any advice for writing g1 wreck-gar dialogue i have a potentially wreckrod ish thing i wanna write but i find myself drawing such a blank when it comes to his TV talk

I have some advice for this!!

Firstly, consider how much TV-Talk you want to actually give him. Depending on his iteration, the degree to which he actually uses it can be quite different. You can get away with doing none, and you can get away with doing a fuck ton. Some official writers have written his dialogue exclusively in pop-culture references in the past, and others have omitted the language entirely.

In G1 and the G1 Comics including the movie, he uses almost entirely film/television references to speak as well as old-school advertising slogans and small print read-offs. If you really need some inspiration, you can definitely find compilations of classic ad reels on YouTube from the eighties. I would suggest going for mostly UK centric media references because that’s what he leaned toward in the film and the show, but he also said US pop-culture references as well so don’t feel like you have to restrict yourself. He’d put on all sorts of accents to do American phrases so if you wanna throw that in, feel free. He also liked to make music references as well, so any song that was popular in that era has its lyrics up for use. This carries over to Dreamwave, Collect and Save, and all other G1 centric media.

In IDW2005, his references are all over the place, nursery rhymes, music, television, even fourth-wall breaking “meanwhile” reads that aren’t explained by the comic as anything beyond his inane rambling. He was more prone to actually making pretty intelligible sentences in IDW2005 with a bit of an odd cadence, but in general he comes off as at least a little bit more ‘put together’, haha.

Don’t feel like you have to restrict yourself on the time period of the references either — in fact, I think the newer the reference, the worse it ages in terms of readability. Older, more obscure texts come off as far more charming. My excuse for locking his TV-Talk in and around the seventies and eighties is the delay in transmission signal across space — in short, it takes a long time for the signal to get there, hence he’s still working his way along older media despite newer media existing. Or you can ignore all that and give him whatever phrases you like from any era of television.

I’m not actually sure that TFA Wreck-Gar says any TV-Talk. He mostly spouts bizarre phrases disconnected from pop-culture or parrots the words of others. Sometimes he’ll come out with a shockingly coherent comment that contrasts against his absurdity. He will often introduce himself in a tic-like manner whenever anyone describes him as something — i.e. if someone were to approach him and say “Wow, you’re tall.” He would likely reply, “I am Wreck-Gar. I’m tall!” before actually engaging in a conversation.

G1 Wreck-Gar on the other hand actually has several instances of referring to himself in the third-person. Now this isn’t all the time, but occasionally he does do this, — e.g. “Wreck-Gar will put you in good hands” or “Could this be the end of little Wreck-Gar? Oh No!” (<- such a stupid fucking quote btw, poor thang…) Do NOT feel like you have to do that all the time, Wreck-Gar is very capable of saying “I” in his day-to-day sentences.

I would say restrict yourself on not copying too many of his lines from pre-existing media, since it can get a little stale repeating the same phrases over and over, BUT if there’s a good line that you really like and it works in the moment, just use it.

Also, don’t worry about it sounding stupid. Do I even need to say why you shouldn’t worry if it sounds stupid? No, didn’t think so <3