#I feel like queer fashion is going in it’s own little bubble right now

[autisticseaserpent]

Do any queer people who had parents who were like in their 20s in the 80s feel kind of envious that you’ve never been able to be in a time where being androgynous was like close to mainstream fashionable.

[neccturtle]

TL;DR I’m not gonna hide online.

I don’t care.

this is mostly a vent to be honest, it’s kinda long lmao

sorry

tw for vague mentions of mental health issues. I don’t go too into it tho.

I spent so much time hating myself for being trans, so much time thinking there must be something wrong with me.

with my mental health being broken because of my own insecurities and fears. (which, again, I’m not gonna go too into)

I finally came out this year and received love from my family, and a few months later my country told me “no,”

“you are a defect, you are broken, you should hate yourself. because there’s something wrong with you”

and I don’t give a damn anymore.

I will still be myself. and I hope I can at least inspire one person to feel better.

I know I’m not much, I’m not gonna start a movement or change the world.

I’m just a young trans girl who naively thought she’d live a normal life.

but although a small one, I’ll use my voice. even if it’s just to scream. I’ll start making more content then I ever have, I’ll bury myself in it. It’s the one thing I can actually change, the one thing I can control. since there’s no solution to this nightmare but waiting for me, I’ll post my art, I’ll be queer, puerto rican, and proud of it.

I will not hide anymore.

I’m tired of hiding.

I love you all. please send me asks and stuff, Interacting with people like me helps me feel less alone lmao.

and before I start spiraling again I’ll just try to stay strong. for me, for my family, for people like us, and for my dog.

I’ll try to focus on the things that make me happy, on my art, my OCs, my little youtube channel, my growing style and odd sense of fashion, music, my love of food, the most adorable floppy ears and wagging tail in the world, the best mother I could dream for, and hope that maybe someday.

things will get better. ect. ect.

I’m not giving up, probably out of spite.

but I’m still a bit lost.

very disappointed in my country (like usual) but not really surprised.

I’m scared, but I’ll do the most radical extremist thing I can…

and live.

try to anyways.

I know this is a very big tonal shift from my usual content (which, on tumblr specifically isn’t much since I’m new here), as I’m usually way more bright and bubbly,

but I can’t really be that person right now, I can’t pretend everything’s ok. or that I’m fully ok.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to think.

I don’t know what to say.

emotionally I’m a mess right now.

I’ll take some time to process all of this (and post some drafts in the meantime)

but I just wanna wish everyone good luck, and hope we can make it out of this.

I’m not strong enough for this, but I’ll keep going for all of us, and because I wanna outlive that big fascist orange.

but for now I’ll just take time to think.

and brace myself for what comes next.

and probably start learning a new language.

love y’all, see y’all later, good night,

and good luck to us all 🩵🩵

P.S. my Mom made me go back and capitalize all the “i”s lmao

[perkyparker]

Matty released a peel of laughter, his head tipping back joyously at the other man’s words. Though the two of them had flirted shamelessly over the passing months, he knew that Jax had wholly good intentions. The revelation that he’d been plaguing the other man’s dreams was satisfying; Jackson was gentle in a way that intrigued Matty, his persona in the paddock and on the track seeming worlds apart from the version of him that he knew. The industry’s insistence on silencing queer drivers meant that Jax had to tone himself down, hiding away some of the best, most endearing aspects of his personality. It left Matty hungry to learn more when the two were left to their own devices, tucked in the safety of their text exchanges or now, behind closed doors, away from prying eyes. 

“And? Did I meet your expectations?” he mused, a giggle bubbling from his throat. 

Matty hummed contentedly as Jackson’s lips trailed along his neck, his eyes fluttering shut as he allowed him the space to explore, to taste him wherever he saw fit. He’d be a liar if he said it wasn’t for his own personal gain, but he also felt Jax had earned the right to kiss a few pretty boys in private, should he wish to. So much of himself was tucked away and now, with the inclusion of Persephone and their showmance being tapped into his every-day schedule, Matty doubted the man had much time to be his true self without fear of exposure. 

“I haven’t seen much of it just yet, actually,” he admitted, his thumb carefully caressing the jut of Jax’s hip. 

Matty had been to Australia a handful of times in the past, with both Melbourne and Sydney being a strong foothold for people within the industry. While Matty had long since cemented his place within the community, he’d been flown out all across the world to walk runways, sign branding deals and act as an ambassador for some of the biggest names in fashion. That said, most of his trips to Melbourne had been strictly professional, with very little time to actually explore. He was hoping that this time around might actually give him cause to see the city. 

“I landed, came here to surprise Eli, made out with him for hours on end,” he joked, accenting his remark with a playful wink, before pressing his lips to Jackson’s once more, gentle and fleeting. ”And then he pissed off to go see Michael and I took a nap. That was, of course, until a certain somebody woke me up while whining my best friend’s name at the top of his lungs.” 

It was fairly plain to the both of them that Matty hadn’t mind being startled awake, particularly not when their reunion seemed to be heading in the direction that it was. Matty generally preferred to wake up to a pretty face and a plethora of kisses; The Jax of it all was just an almighty bonus. Most people might have been alarmed to find themselves being kissed something silly after just having rolled out of bed, hair tousled and eyes full of sleep, but the Brit had no reason to feel underdressed or worse for wear. 

“And for what it’s worth, yes. I woke up like this,” he laughed, bobbing his head playfully, his curls bouncing wildly in the process. 

With one hand still pressed to Jackson’s stomach, the other tickling the hairs at the back of his neck, he slowly began taking minute steps backwards, leading him further into the hotel suite. There was no use the two of them lingering in the doorway, certainly not when they could be having so much more fun with Elias gone for the next couple of hours. 

“That said, is it too soon to establish I’ve already managed to get my hands on the greatest thing this country has to offer?” Matty pressed, bumping his nose against Jackson’s. “Anyway, what do you want to do with your day, love? You said you were hungry, yes?” 

There was a glint in his eye as he posed that final question, the upturn of his lips a telltale sign that there had been nothing innocent about his line of questioning. That said, as much as Matty’s sex drive had been kicked into gear, he was still overjoyed to simply see Jackson. Attraction aside, he liked to think of the other man as his friend too, and he was looking forward to getting to spend some time with both drivers, drinking margaritas – mostly on his end, of course – and exploring the city. Perhaps, if Jax agreed not to make a face like a smacked arse, they might even be able to get Dante in on some of the fun, too. 

“I could think of something you might like the taste of. We could go explore the city, hit up some local restaurants, or... We could fuck,” Matty teased, delighting in the sudden rise and fall of Jax’s chest, his words no doubt having an adverse effect on him.  

Carefully, he pressed another kiss to the other man’s mouth, this time gentler. Parting Jackson’s lips with his tongue, Matty’s hand slipped past the waistband of his jeans, carefully finding purchase at the arche of his back, before coming to a careful stop as he palmed the other man’s arse. He wasn’t actually trying to coax Jackson into bed, nor dirty Eli’s sheets by having a quick fumble with his teammate, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun first. 

“Or, we could just cuddle. Spill our dirtiest, most sordid secrets?” 

It was no secret that Jax had been nursing the most ridiculous crush on the other man for the better part of the past couple of months. It had started out as something silly, merely someone to daydream about around the paddock. In the early days when he was still integrating himself back into the team, sat shoulder to shoulder with his disgruntled reserve driver in team briefings, bored out of his mind, his limbs aching from disuse. After all, Matty always seemed to be there. Whether it was slipping into the garage swaddled in Eli's race jacket, at the concessions stand with his doting best friend wiping ice cream from the tip of his nose. Always, always with Eli in tow, so Jax's attention had never seemed too odd. Jax envied them their closeness, despite knowing Eli was never quite free of the rumour mill himself. The sight of them arm in arm, walking the track together, candidly sharing a hotel room, had made Jax's chest ache. At first, he just envied their companionship, then it became apparent that what Jax actually envied was Eli's closeness to Matty.

It was silly, harmless - almost comical, really, the reaction Matty was able to get from him. He blushed for no reason at all, looked for him in the moments after he told a joke, just to watch his head thrown back in laughter. He was like a teenager doodling in his notebook, distracted in class, certain another pretty boy would waltz onto the scene and soon enough Jax would have someone new to dream about.

Until Jax had submitted himself to... what did Annie call it? The mortifying ordeal of being known.

And look where it had gotten him. A pretty boy with his hands against his skin, reassuring him he'd missed him too, making the words sound far less embarassing than when they'd tumbled from Jax's lips. If Jax could have Matty in these small moments, it was absolutely worth it. The other man made him feel light, happy. He was escapism in it's purest form, a getaway to a sunnier climate that always made Jax feel instantly better.

"I see." Jax giggled with him, high and conspiratorial. There was no doubt that every member of the Baxter clan absolutely adored Eli, the only person unable to see it was Eli himself.

His hand pressed gently against Matty's chest, Jax's gaze flicked upwards, staring into the eyes of the slightly-taller man. It was pathetic, really, the way his stomach flipped at the mere sight of him. All of his edges felt softened under the watchful gaze of those blue eyes, warm with want.

"Oh? Good. Good." he stumbled over his words, cheeks tinged pink.

He was lucky Matty was a more brazen man than him. Jax had always been good at going after the things he wanted, when the things he wanted were nameless men to occupy the other side of the bed. It was much harder to covet something you could put a name to, something tangible, someone you had a crush on. So he was really goddamn thankful for the hot press of Matty's mouth against his, a sigh escaping from him as his lips were coaxed open. The kiss was insistent, harsh, Jax moving clumsily so that for a second their teeth clashed, Jax laughing brightly at his schoolboy mistake.

It didn't take long til the two of them found their rythm. It was new, sweet, Jax's tongue sliding against the other man's as Matty's hands insistently, gloriously slid up the front of his shirt. Jax forgot to shy away, so preoccupied with the press of Matty's body against his own he forgot to be nervous, forgot to be insecure. Instead his hands found purchase on Matty's waist, tugging him in tighter.

"Yes." Jax breathed, voice giddy as their noses bumped, Jax chasing his lips in a desperate bid to kiss him again. Want unfurled in his stomach as Matty's hands roamed his skin, following the blush that was sure to be creeping up his chest.

"You dreamed about this?" he asked, breathless as he admitted, "'Cause I dreamt about you. Often, actually."

Jax's lips found the Brit's jaw, peppering sweet, soft kisses before travelling to the vast expanse of his neck, if only to elicit a reaction from the other man. The two of them had waited what felt like an eternity - to an impatient Jax - to be alone together, Jax wasn't going to waste a second.

"So," Jax started, his voice a low hum against the hollow of Matty's throat, "You liking our beautiful country so far?"

[foxys-fantasy-tales]

Writeblr Re-Introduction

I never did this quite right the first time. Get ready, cause this may be a long one. May be oversharing, but hey no character limit and I feel like being super in depth in my soon to be pinned post is on brand. -Ahem-

Hello! You can call me Denise. I use she/her pronouns and I am 32 years old (ancient for Tumblr, I know) with a love for writing fantasy and romance with a lot of dark elements and intrigue. My characters can be messy and sweet and that makes them good to me. I have a lot of bad things happen to my characters, but I like a triumphant tale in the end where at least most people are happy or things turn out alright. I really have fallen for each and every one of my characters and feel the world in general needs some hope in conflict. I am bisexual/biromantic, demisexual/demiromantic, and polyamorous, so a lot of my characters are queer in some fashion. I love writing demi characters and polyam relationships the most so far, though it's taking a bit of build-up to get my first series to that point. My partner (married) is non-binary and I have trans and token cis-het friends and more, so I feel I have a good group helping and reading my books so that my characters come off the page as they should, even if I'm writing a label not my own. I'm also disabled, and in two of my three current projects there is a disabled character present. I only found this out a few years ago, slightly before the pandemic (wooo) and I still have no idea what's causing most of my issues even though doctors have proven something is wrong. I may have an undiagnosable condition with no name yet, so please be patient if I'm not quick to respond or post a lot. I have chronic pain, fatigue, GI issues, and migraines. Going to rattle off some ending facts about myself here. I love playing DnD and have an over two year campaign ongoing right now where I play a sorcerer. I adore cosplaying when I can afford it. I'm addicted to Final Fantasy 14. I still play Pokemon. I have been watching anime since I was about eight years old, which was at the same time I began writing my own stories, so I've been in this for a while now. I hope to always keep improving. I have a BA in English with emphasis in Creative Writing, and though it hasn't served in finding me gainful employment, I hope it helps me in entertaining with my words, which is what I always longed for anyway. All of my works have dark themes, and if you buy my books there will always be a specific trigger warning section in the front so you can make an informed decision. So with that out there, let's talk about my works!

Published Works

Arigale: Spite in the Spirit (Aug. 2021)

Status: Complete and Published

Genres: Epic fantasy, Romance, Action and Adventure Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Around 170k words

(gray morality, friends to lovers, exploring a new world, critique on religious extremes, multiple ships to sail, magic galore and a practical armory, apparently a hot villain, LGBTQIA+ Rep (still building on in book two), found family, humor and at times dark humor, Multiple POV ensemble cast)

Judith and Chit are called to the lonely tower outside their city with little explanation. The one who summoned them is an old, elven wizard named Maleth, who will send them on a quest to lower their floating city of Arigale to where it once resided. Maleth is intrigued by Judith’s strange form of necromantic magic, yet he is also certain of the anxious young man in training to be a spearman and scholar.

Judith, a bubbly yet mysterious young woman, is eager to accept. Chit remains withdrawn and cautious, a remnant of being raised by the Order that presides over their land. Soon, both discover their meeting with the wizard carried dire consequences. Can they accomplish what has been asked of them and save Arigale by exploring the land below, no matter the lengths they must go to?

Available at: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple, Indiebound, and Kobo.

First five chapters are available here on Tumblr for preview! Chapter One - Bonds Chapter Two - Blood Chapter Three - Beseeched Chapter Four - Brazen Chapter Five - Betwixt

I also have a book trailer for this one on Youtube and Tiktok.

Works In Progress

Arigale: Bond in the Blood (WIP)

Aesthetic placeholder for now. The cover is in progress!

(Many of the same tropes as listed above, but more darkness and trauma themes than book one had. Another added romance that is friends to lovers to enemies to ??? You'll have to read to find out!)

Status: Drafting (60%)

Genres: Epic fantasy, Romance, Action and Adventure Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - Coming 2023

Judith and Chit's journey across the seas to Galavarn was not as smooth as they had hoped for. The standard of living here is much different than what they encountered on the mainland, and the newfound bond between them will be tested. Enigmas run rampant here, along with a woman from Maleth’s past who claims to hold the key to defeating them for good. Unfortunately, this woman has an unruly and strangely apathetic nature to her, along with a profound hatred toward their distant companion on Arigale. 

Meanwhile, back on the mainland, those left behind must bear their own struggles as a stranger appears and insists on taking one of their number with him. This man with red, sunken eyes bears a sharp grudge against Stemoss and worse obligations to a certain deity. 

Secrets of the past will come to light on this desolate isle, and the friends left behind will struggle to not become a cog in a plan devised long before they were even born.

Made to Taste (WIP)

Made this placeholder cover in Canva, may or may not be final

(critique of racial relations and capitalism, LGBTQIA+ Rep, monsters and mayhem, dark boy and maybe not sunshine but optimistic girl, meet cute, Terrible CEO villains, small business owning woman protag, magical races in modern day, first kiss, ferris wheels, cute confessions and fluffy moments mixed with helping one another during awful ordeals, they were roommates)

Status: Possible series in the works. Book one draft is complete and editing begins soon. Book two draft in progress as well.

Genres: Urban fantasy, Romance, Paranormal Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - Book One possible in 2023

When Lyra Morley accepted a rough and tumble new hire from her bar, she didn't think he would end up her new roommate in a week. Noel Akatash brings his own debts, and the people holding the accounts aren't to be trifled with. Magical home invasions aside, Lyra is more worried about her business serving the city nightlife any food she can handle all made to order.

Cooking with a halfbreed's sense of smell comes with its perks, and one of them is that she can hide her skills in the kitchen so no one is any wiser about her true nature. The night-only diner called Made to Taste is meant to be a haven for those the city would rather keep buried. Lyra, the pacifist and abstinent dhampir, would fight to keep it safe. Good thing Noel knows a thing or two about being scrappy.

Dream Escape (WIP)

Another aesthetic placeholder for now, but I have a cover in mind

(dreams vs reality, learning to cope, TW: suicidal themes are major part of this book, disenchantment, finding your purpose, joy in the little things is better than no joy at all, painting and artistry used to convey these themes, portal/dreamscape fantasy, Alice in Wonderland vibes, enemies to friends to lovers) Status: Plotting stage

Genres: Urban fantasy, Romance, Drama Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - No determined release YET - Standalone novel around 80k words

Emma Reed, 26, has a Master of the Arts and no place to put it but in her desk drawer. Once proud of her accomplishment, the lights quickly dimmed when she ended up living back in her old childhood bedroom at her parents place and flat broke. Helping Adrien with graphics for their streaming or Sarah with banners for her pet business is all well and good, but it's not at all how she imagined scrapping by. When her newest piece is rejected from the gallery she had finally convinced to give her a chance, Emma hits a downward spiral.

When she awakens, she finds herself in a strange new world with a strange man hovering around her. He calls himself Jasper, a dream painter, and quickly proves his prowess at sculpting others' dreams. Emma was in his care, but though he's petitioned her to wake up, she can't. Neither knows how she ended up in this place, but surrounded by the dreams of others quite literally brought to life around her, Emma makes the decision to stay.

Jasper won't let her. For one, if she stays there is no telling how badly that could go for her, or for his hopes of a promotion. Emma goes along with his plan to cart her across this new place, more as a sightseeing tour than the arduous task he finds it to be. Along the way, a bit of the light comes back into her eyes, and he can't help but remember how bright they both used to shine. Dulled and muddied palettes that they both became, can they start over?

Links & Socials

Find out all the info you need for Arigale, with pages for my other works upcoming when they are closer to release dates at my website.

You can support me with my illness and with saving for promotion, editing, and artwork for my writing over on Ko-Fi.

You can also find me being a struggling writer, but also a huge geek who loves DnD, anime, cosplay, RPGs, Otome, and more here on Tumblr and over on my other socials at Twitter, Tiktok, and sporadically on Instagram.

My Tags

I haven't been great at using these, but I'm going to try and be better.

#Arigale - for anything related to my Arigale series

#Made to Taste - for anything related to Made to Taste series

#Dream Escape - for anything related to my standalone titled such

#Writer Woes - for rants or jokes about how hard this can be

#Writer Advice - to take with a grain of salt please

#Mental Mess - when I have a bad mental health day

#Physical Mess - when I have a bad physical health day

#Free Commentary - When I reblog with additions in tags

And I'll of course be using #Writeblr #Booklr and other necessary tags as well when called for.

[writemarcus]

HITTING NEW HEIGHTS

BY MARCUS SCOTT

ORIGINAL RENT STAR DAPHNE RUBIN-VEGA TAKES YOU INSIDE THE IN THE HEIGHTS FILM

Qué quiere decir sueñito?” The disembodied voice of a girlchild ponders. “It means ‘little dream,’” responds an unseen authoritative figure, his feathery tenor with a soft rasp and tender lilt implying there’s more to the story.

Teal waves crash against the white sand coastal lines of the Dominican Republic and a quartet of children plead with the voice to illuminate and tell a story. Usnavi de la Vega (played by Anthony Ramos), sporting his signature newsboy flat cap and full goatee, begins to narrate and weave a tall-tale from the comforts of his beachside food cart: “This is the story of a block that was disappearing. Once upon a time in a faraway land called Nueva York, en barrio called Washington Heights. Say it, so it doesn’t disappear,” he decrees.

And we’re off, this distant magic kingdom ensnared within the winding urban sprawl of farthest-uptown Manhattan, the music of the neighborhood chiming with infinite possibilities: a door-latch fastening on tempo, a ring of keys sprinkling a sweet embellishment, the splish-splash of a garden hose licking the city streets like a drumstick to a snare fill, a manhole cover rotating like vinyl on a get-down turntable, the hiss of paint cans spraying graffiti like venoms from cobras and roll-up steel doors rumbling, not unlike the ultra-fast subway cars zigzagging underground. So begins the opening moments of In the Heights, the Warner Bros. stage-to-screen adaptation of the Tony Award-winning musical by composer-lyricist Lin-Manuel Miranda (Hamilton) and librettist Quiara Alegría Hudes (Water by the Spoonful) that is set to premiere in movie theatres and on HBO Max on June 11, 2021.

This stunning patchwork of visuals and reverberations combine to create a defiant and instantly memorable collage of inner-city living not seen since Walter Hill’s 1979 cult classic The Warriors or West Side Story, the iconic romantic musical tragedy directed on film by Robert Wise and original Broadway director Jerome Robbins. With Jon M. Chu at the helm, the musical feature has all the trademarks of the director’s opulent signature style: Striking spectacles full of stark colors, va-va-voom visuals, ooh-la-la hyperkinetic showstopping sequences and out-of-this-world destination locations.

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A Kind of Priestess

Joining the fray of proscenium stage vets in the film is Broadway star Daphne Rubin-Vega, who originated the role of Mimi in the Off-Broadway and Broadway original productions of Rent. She returns to major motion pictures after a decade since her last outing in Nancy Savoca’s Union Square, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in 2011. When we caught up with Rubin-Vega, she was hard at work, in-between rehearsals with her In the Heights co-star Jimmy Smits on Two Sisters and a Piano, the 1999 play by Miami-based playwright Nilo Cruz, a frequent collaborator. Rubin-Vega netted a Tony Award nomination for Best Featured Actress in a Play for her role as the enraptured Conchita in Cruz’s Anna in the Tropics; that same year Cruz was awarded the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, making him the first Latino playwright to receive the honor. Despite significant global, social and economic disruption, especially within the arts community, Rubin-Vega has been working throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.

“People around me have [contracted] COVID… My father-in-law just had it. I’m very fortunate,” Rubin-Vega said. “This collective experience, it’s funny because it’s a year now and things seem better. Last year it was, like, ‘Damn, how inconvenient!’ The one comfort was that, you know, it’s happening to every one of us. That clarity that this is a collective experience is much more humbling and tolerable to me.”

The last time Rubin-Vega graced Washington Heights on screen or stage, she acted in the interest of survival and hunger as a probationer released after a 13-year stint in prison and given a new lease on life as an unlicensed amateur masseuse in the basement of an empanada shop in Empanada Loca, The Spalding Gray-style Grand Guignol horror play by Aaron Mark at the LAByrinth Theater Company in 2015. In In the Heights she plays Daniela, an outrageously vivacious belting beautician with a flair for the dramatics, forced to battle a price-gouging real estate bubble in the wake of gentrification.

“She’s like the deputy or the priestess,” Rubin-Vega said. “Owning a salon means that you have a lot of information; you’re in a hub of community, of information, of sharing… it’s also where you go for physical grooming. It’s a place where women were empowered to create their own work and it is a place of closeness, spiritual advice, not-so-spiritual advice. Physical attention.”

She said, “Daniela also being an elder; I think she’s not so much a person that imposes order on other people. She’s there to bring out the best—she leads with love. She tells it like it is. I don’t think she sugar-coats things. What you see is what you get with Daniela. It’s refreshing; she has a candor and sure-footedness that I admire.”

With the film adaptation, Chu and Hudes promised to expand the universe of the Upper Manhattan-based musical, crafting new dimensions and nuances to two characters in particular: Daniela and hairdresser Carla, originally portrayed as business associates and gossip buddies in the stage musical. On the big screen they are reimagined as romantic life partners. Stephanie Beatriz, known to audiences for her hilarious turn as the mysterious and aloof Detective Rosa Diaz in the police procedural sitcom romp “Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” co-stars as the fast-talking firecracker, Carla.

It’s been a year waiting, you know. It’s like the lid’s been on it and so we’re just so ready to explode.

Where Is Home?

“Well, Quiara and Jon really expanded on what Lin and Quiara originally created and now they’re partners—and not just work partners, right? But they’re life partners,” Beatriz said at a March press event celebrating the release of the film’s two promo trailers. “What was so gratifying to me as a person who is queer is to see this relationship in the film be part of the fabric of the community, and to be normal, and be happy and functioning, and part of the quilt they’ve all created.”

She continued, “So much of this film is about where home is and who home is to you. And for Carla, Daniela is home. Wherever Daniela is, that’s where Carla feels at home. I thought that they did such a beautiful job of guiding us to this, really, you know, it’s just a happy functioning relationship that happens to be gay and in the movie. And I love that they did that, because it is such a part of our world.”

Rubin-Vega said she had no interest in playing any trope of what one might think a lesbian Latina might look or act like, noting that the queer experience isn’t monolithic, while expressing that the role offered her a newfound freedom, especially with regard to being present in the role and in her everyday life.

“Spoiler alert! I felt like not wearing a bra was going to free me. Did I get it right? Am I saying that gay women don’t wear bras? No, it was just a way for me to be in my body and feel my breasts. To feel my femaleness and celebrate it in a more unapologetic way,” she said, laughing. “To be honest, I was really looking forward to playing a lesbian Latina. It’s something that I hadn’t really explored before. Latinos [can be] very homophobic as a culture, and I wanted to play someone who didn’t care about homophobia; I was gonna live my best life. That’s a bigger thing. It’s also like, maybe I’m bisexual. Who knows? Who cares? If you see that in the film, that’s cool too, you know?”

Stand-out performances abound, especially with regard to the supporting cast; newcomers Melissa Barrera (in a role originated by Tony Award winner Karen Olivo) and Gregory Diaz IV (replacing three-time Tony Award nominee Robin de Jesús) are noteworthy as the aspiring fashion designer Vanessa and budding activist Sonny. Olga Merediz, who earned a Tony Award nomination for originating her role as Abuela Claudia, returns to the silver screen in a captivating performance that will be a contender come award season. However, Rubin-Vega may just be the one to watch. Her performance is incandescent and full of moxie, designed to raise endorphin levels. She leads an ensemble in the rousing “Carnaval del Barrio,” a highlight in the film.

Musical Bootcamp

“We shot in June [2019]. In April, we started musical bootcamp. In May, we started to do the choreography. My big joke was that I would have to get a knee replacement in December; that was in direct relation to all that choreography. I mean, there were hundreds of A-1 dancers in the posse,” Rubin-Vega said. “The family consisted of hundreds of superlative dancers led by Chris[topher] Scott, with an amazing team of dancers like Ebony Williams, Emilio Dosal, Dana Wilson, Eddie Torres Jr. and Princess Serrano. We rehearsed a fair bit. Monday through Friday for maybe five weeks. The first day of rehearsal I met Melissa [Barrera] and Corey [Hawkins], I pretty much hadn’t known everyone yet. I hadn’t met Leslie [Grace] yet. Chris Scott, the choreographer, just went straight into ‘let’s see what you can do.’ It was the first [dance] routine of ‘In The Heights,’ the opening number. He was like, ‘OK, let’s go. Five, six, seven, eight!’”

Rubin-Vega said that she tried to bring her best game, though it had “been a minute” since she had to execute such intricate choreography, noting that they shot the opening number within a day while praising Chu’s work ethic and leadership.

“There was a balance between focus and fun and that’s rare. Everyone was there because they wanted to be there,” she said. “I think back to the day we shot ‘96,000.’ That day it wouldn’t stop raining; [it was] grey and then the sky would clear and we’d get into places and then it would be grey again and so we’d have to wait and just have to endure. But even the bad parts were kind of good, too. Even the hottest days. There were gunshots, there was a fire while we were shooting and we had to shut down, there was traffic and noise and yet every time I looked around me or went into video village and saw the faces in there, I mean…it felt like the only place to be. You want to feel like that in every place you are: The recognition. I could recognize people who look like me. For now on, you cannot say I’ve never seen a Panamanian on film before or a Columbian or a Mexican, you know?”

Another Notion of Beauty

Rubin-Vega’s professional relationship with the playwright Hudes extends to 2015, when she was tapped to [participate in the] workshop [production of]  Daphne’s Dive. Under the direction of Thomas Kail (Hamilton) and starring alongside Samira Wiley (“The Handmaid’s Tale,” “Orange Is the New Black”), the play premiered Off-Broadway at the Pershing Square Signature Center the following year. Rubin-Vega also starred in Miss You Like Hell, the cross-country road musical by Hudes and Erin McKeown, which premiered at La Jolla Playhouse in 2016 before it transferred to The Public Theater in 2018. With her participation in the production of In the Heights, she is among the few to have collaborated with all of the living Latinx playwrights to have won the Pulitzer Prize; Hudes won the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for Drama for her play Water by the Spoonful, while Miranda took home the 2016 Pulitzer Prize for Drama for Hamilton. Speaking on her multiple collaborations over the years, Rubin-Vega also acknowledged having known Miranda years before they would join voices.

“Lin to me is like a little bro or legacy; he’s a direct descent to me from [Rent author] Jonathan Larson, which is a bigger sort of all-encompassing arch,” she said, though she stressed that she auditioned like everyone else, landing the role after two or three callbacks. “Quiara and I have a wonderful working and personal relationship, I think. Which isn’t to say I had dibs by any means because…it’s a business that wants the best for itself, I suppose. […] So, when I walked in, I was determined to really give it my best.”

Life During and After Rent

Rubin-Vega has built an impressive resume over the course of her career, singing along with the likes of rock stars like David Bowie and starring in a multitude of divergent roles on Broadway and off. From a harrowing Fantine in Les Misérables and a co-dependent Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire to a sinister Magenta in The Rocky Horror Show, her evolution into the atypical character actor and leading lady can be traced back 25 years to January 25, 1996, when Larson’s groundbreaking musical Rent, a retelling of Giacomo Puccini’s 19th-century opera La Bohème, premiered at the New York Theatre Workshop. On the morning of the first preview, Larson suffered an aortic dissection, likely from undiagnosed Marfan’s syndrome and died at the age of 35, just ten days shy of what would have been his 36th birthday.

On April 29, 1996, due to overwhelming popularity, Rent transferred to Nederlander Theatre on Broadway, tackling contemporary topics the Great White Way had rarely seen, such as poverty and class warfare during the AIDS epidemic in New York City’s gritty East Village at the turn of the millennium. Rubin-Vega would go on to be nominated for the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for her role as sex kitten Mimi Márquez, an HIV-positive heroin addict and erotic dancer.

  The show became a cultural phenomenon, receiving several awards including the Pulitzer Prize for Drama and four Tony Awards, including Best Musical. Rubin-Vega and members of the original Broadway cast were suddenly overnight sensations, recording “Seasons of Love” alongside music icon Stevie Wonder, receiving a photo shoot with Vanity Fair and landing the May 13, 1996 cover of Newsweek. Throughout its 12-year Broadway run, many of the show’s original cast members and subsequent replacements would go on to be stars, including Renée Elise Goldsberry, who followed in Rubin-Vega’s footsteps to play the popular character before originating the role of Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton, for which she won the 2016 Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical.

When the screen adaptation of Rent hit cinemas in 2005 under the direction of Chris Columbus, Rubin-Vega’s conspicuous absence came as a blow to longtime fans. The confluence of pregnancy with the casting and filming process of Rent hindered her from participating at the time. The role was subsequently given to movie star Rosario Dawson.

“First of all, if you’re meant to be in a film, you’re meant to be in it,” Rubin-Vega said. “That’s just the way it goes. It took a quarter of a century but this [In the Heights] is a film that I wanted to make, that I felt the elements sat right. I always felt that Rent was a little bit darker than all that. Rent to me is Rated R. In The Heights is not. It’s also a testament. Unless it’s sucking your soul and killing you softly or hardly, just stick with it. This is a business and I keep forgetting it’s a business because actors just want to show art. So, it’s really wonderful when you get a chance to say what you mean and mean what you say with your work. It’s a really wonderful gift.”

Rarely-Explored Themes

Like Larson’s award-winning show and the film adapted from it, In The Heights is jam-packed with hard-hitting subject matter, addressing themes of urban blight, immigration, gentrification, cultural identity, assimilation and U.S. political history. When Rubin-Vega’s character Daniela and her partner were priced out of the rent for her salon, most of her clientele moved to the Grand Concourse Historic District in the Bronx. Her salon, a bastion of the community, is met with a polar response when she announces she’s joining the mass exodus with the other victims of gentrification who were pushed out by rising rents. The news is met with negative response from long-time patrons who refuse to take the short commute to the new location. Daniela counters, “Our people survived slave ships, we survived Taino [indigenous Caribbean people] genocide, we survived conquistadores and dictators…you’re telling me we can’t survive the D train to Grand Concourse?”

The question is humorous, but also insinuates a more nuanced understanding of the AfroLatinidad experience in the Western world. The film also looks at the American Dream with a naturalistic approach. Leslie Grace, who plays Nina Rosario, a first-generation college student returning from her freshman year at Stanford University and grappling with finances and the expectations of her community, noted that while her character “finds [herself] at some point at a fork in the road,” she may not have the luxury to be indecisive because of the pressures put on by family, community and country.  

“The struggle of the first-generation Americans in the Latino community is not talked about a lot because it’s almost like a privilege,” Grace asserted. “You feel like it’s a privilege to talk about it. But there is a lot of identity crisis that comes with it and I think we explore that.” Speaking on the character, she elaborated: “Home for her is where her heart is, but also where her purpose is. So, she finds her purpose in doing something outside of herself, greater than herself and going back to Stanford for the people she loves in her community. I really relate to where she’s at, trying to find herself. And I think a lot of other people will, too.”

Worth Singing About

For Miranda, a first-generation Puerto Rican New Yorker that grew up in Inwood at the northernmost tip of Manhattan before attending Wesleyan University where he would develop the musical, this speaks to a larger issue of what defines a home.

“What does ‘home’ even mean? Every character is sort of answering it in a different way,” he said. “For some people, home is somewhere else. For some people, home is like ‘the block’ they’re on. So, that’s worth singing about. It’s worth celebrating in a movie of this size.”

Given the current zeitgeist, it’s no wonder why Chu, Hudes and Miranda decided to pivot with adapting the stage musical for the big screen, leaning in to tackle the plights and predicaments of DREAMers [children of undocumented immigrants seeking citizenship] stateside. In one scene, glimpses of posters at a protest rally read “Immigrant Rights are Human Rights” and “Refugees Are People Too.” Growing up in a multicultural household as a Latina with a Black Latina mother, a white father and a Jewish American stepfather, Rubin-Vega said she was used to being in spaces that were truly multiracial. Nevertheless, there were times when she often felt alien, especially as a du jour rock musical ingenue who looked as she did in the mid-1990s through the 2000s.

“Undocumented people come in different shapes and colors,” she noted. “To be born in a land that doesn’t recognize you, it’s a thing that holds so much horror… so much disgrace happens on the planet because human beings aren’t recognized as such sometimes.”

The film “definitely sheds light on that, but it also talks about having your dream taken away and its human violation—it’s a physical, spiritual, social, cultural violation,” Rubin-Vega said. “There’s a difference between pursuing dreams and being aware of reality. They’re not mutually exclusive. What this film does, it presents a story that is fairly grounded in reality. It’s a musical, it’s over the top… but it reflects a bigger reality, which is like an emotional reality…that people that are challenged on the daily, have incredible resolve, incredible resoluteness and lifeforce.”

She said: “Growing up, looking like me, I got to ingest the same information as everyone else except when it came time to implement my contributions, they weren’t as welcomed or as seen. The dream is to be seen and to be recognized. Maybe I could be an astronaut or an ingenue on Broadway? You can’t achieve stuff that you haven’t imagined. When it talks about DREAMers, it talks about that and it talks about how to not be passive in a culture that would have you think you are passive but to be that change and to dare to be that change.”

Dreams Come True

Dreams are coming true. Alongside the nationwide release of the much-anticipated film, Random House announced it will publish In the Heights: Finding Home, which will give a behind-the-scenes look at the beginnings of Miranda’s 2008 breakout Broadway debut and journey to the soon-to-be-released film adaptation. The table book will chronicle the show’s 20-year voyage from page to stage—from Miranda’s first drawings at the age of 19 to lyric annotations by Miranda and essays written by Hudes to never-before-seen photos from productions around the world and the 2021 movie set. It will be released to the public on June 22, eleven days after the release of the film; an audiobook will be simultaneously released by Penguin Random House Audio.

Hinting at the year-long delay due to the pandemic, Rubin-Vega said, “It’s been a year waiting, you know. It’s like the lid’s been on it and so we’re just so ready to explode.”

Bigger Dreams

“Jon [Chu], I think, dreams bigger than any of us dare to dream in terms of the size and scope of this,” Miranda said. “We spent our summer [in 2018] on 175th Street. You know, he was committed to the authenticity of being in that neighborhood we [all] grew up in, that we love, but then also when it comes to production numbers, dreaming so big. I mean, this is a big movie musical!”

Miranda continued, “We’re so used to asking for less, just to ask to occupy space, you know? As Latinos, we’re, like, ‘Please just let us make our little movie.’ And Jon, every step of the way, said, like, ‘No, these guys have big dreams. We’re allowed to go that big!’ So, I’m just thrilled with what he did ’cause I think it’s bigger than any of us ever dreamed.”

Speaking at the online press conference, Miranda said, “I’m talking to you from Washington Heights right now! I love it here. The whole [movie] is a love letter to this neighborhood. I think it’s such an incredible neighborhood. It’s the first chapter in so many stories. It’s a Latinx neighborhood [today]. It was a Dominican neighborhood when I was growing up there in the ’80s. But before that it was an Irish neighborhood and Italian. It’s always the first chapter in so many American stories.”

[the-ghost-king]

different anon but i know this is a little more what you hc for nico and i adore it and maybe the other anon will too: headcanons for nb nico who is fairly fem? idk feminine nb nico makes me so happy 🥰 i love that you make a fair amount of content for it i truly love to see it on my dash, i appreciate you so much

Firstly, thank you for the compliments; and yes anon, you would be correct, femby Nico is something I'm so down for:

So originally Nico doesn't know he's trans, he doesn't even know the word trans exists

He's one of those people who is like "most people don't care about gender it's not a big deal it doesn't matter" and he's quite confused when people enforce rules based off of sex/gender

He's stands there going, "okay?? but it doesn't matter?? it's not real??"

Gender just straight up confuses him

Anyhow, I think Nico definitly gets his further slightly more in depth explaination of queerness from Will, and Will is like "yeah then trans people-" or maybe Will is trans and tells him after they've been dating a short while

Either way Nico is like "oh, that's cool!"

Anyhow Nico doesn't really think about it for a long time, and kind of carries on without thinking about gender much.

If Will is trans in this as well, then Nico learns more about himself through learning about Will's gender... But if Will's not trans then maybe Nico finds out Lou Ellen is trans (I have a whole bunch of trans Lou Ellen and trans Will headcanons I need to write with Cecil too)

Anyhow basically Nico knows someone who's trans and there's a conversation of gender at some point where Nico's like "but gender isn't real?" or something similoar because he just doesn't understand the idea of feeling male or feeling female, it confuses him

So eventually he has a conversation with some friends who are cis, and he realizes that even they know they're a boy or girl, and so Nico is confused because "why does everyone have this figured out?"

So he starts asking more questions, and finds out about nonbinary and he gets nervous because he knows Will likes boys, but what if Will won't like him anymore because he's not 100% a guy

So he does eventually work up the courage to tell Will how he might be feeling and Will is super chill about the whole thing and he's like "Nico I like boys and girls, and most of all I like you" and Nico's happy because Will isn't going to break up with him

Anyhow they have a long conversation where Willl is like "please don't worry about coming to me with stuff I love you very much okay?"

Eventually Nico begins to try out different pronouns but just when alone with Will because he's not comfortable telling everyone yet

He decides he likes he/him, but she/her is nice too, and he dables in xe/xem pronouns but he has mixed feelings on them

In my last trans Nico post I said Nico would like alternating pronouns but maybe I don't think so... I think he would tell people what pronouns he wanted when/what day or he would say "you can use he/him or she/her" or something

and some people would use one set, and some people the other, and some people would mix his pronouns

So Nico starts getting more involved in fashion around this point

Mitchell and him are friends and Mitchell's dad is a fashion designer so free stuff!

Anyhow Nico finds all of this stuff fun, and eventually one day she gets the courage to try a skirt on and it quickly becomes her favorite type of clothing

Nico likes to wear skirts with tights and combat boots

Nico also falls in love withe leggings because "they're just so soft!"

He never really comes out he kind of just chooses to live life and if people know or find out whatever

Like he'll be somewhere with Jason and someone would ask for her pronouns and she'd be like "he/him or she/her is fine" and Jason is getting whiplash from how fast he turned his head to look at Nico and Jason's stumbling over "he/him" while looking at Nico because he wants to say congrats so bad

Or maybe Will is like "my girlfriend" and Percy's like "you have a girlfriend too?" and Will's like "no??? I mean Nico??" and Percy is confused af because he didn't even know people could be gay until recently- but people can be trans too?

(Percy has his own gender questioning that happens, although a bit smaller and he decides he/they and that dresses and heels are fun)

So Nico's friends all eventually know but they just sort of find out rather than a big coming out (this is how they all found out Nico was gay too, Nico was like “yeah so me and Will Solace are dating” or “my boyfriend” because Nico has a hard time saying “I’m gay” or “I’m trans” so he finds ways around it to make himself more comfortable).

Nico struggles a little bit with the concept, not as much as he did with being gay but there’s still obsticales there for him to overcome

When Hades finds out he’s just like “mhmm good for you okay love you… daughter?” and that makes Nico happy because he’s still trying to be a good dad

Anyhow immediately after Nico leaves Hades runs to find Dionysus or Apollo and is like “trans what does it mean? Daughter was the correct word right? I’m sorry tucking is what now??”

He’s confused af but also supportive af

“Nobody says that about my son-err daughter?”

“Both are fine, Papa”

And Will and Reyna are in the background silently giving Hades thumbs ups

Sometimes Hades buys Nico weird shit and is like “it’s for your gender” and Nico doesn’t need the stuff but his dad cares so she appreciates it

Dionysus is super chill about the whole thing when he hears it through the grapevine (ha!) and he’s like “new name or same one kid?”

Nico’s like “oh um, same name, just new pronouns”

And Dionysus is like “great sit your ass down you have therapy to do”

(Dionysus always gets trans kids name right and never even jokingly messes it up so he always asks)

Also, Nico loves little hair clips, you know the little ones that tik tokers wear? Yeah those he has hundreds of them!

Cloth headbands are also her best friend, she has so many of them… (they’re like square cloth pieces you tie and wrap a specific way and roll your hair around it… I don’t know the right word they were popular in the 50s)

Nico ends up growing out his hair because he likes being able to put it in a messy bun on top of his head and he likes having it in braids down his back too

She learns to do makeup from Hazel (Hazel had a makeup face and likes kpop I don’t take criticism on that) and it looks great tbh

Also in public all the time when people see Nico they’re like “Boy? Girl?”

And he’s like “yeah both is good, but also neither, I have all the genders and also no gender”

And Will’s standing in the background laughing his ass off at the confused look the cashier has on their face

Just imagine Nico and Will’s kids calling Nico both Mama and Papa interchangeably ~

She does end up changing her name from Nicolò to just Nico because Nico is gender neutral

So much jewelry… so much of it, Nico loves it

Nico ends up getting a leather jacket with “give us our roses while we’re here” printed/painted on the back of it and little roses built into the actual jacket as well

Nico always seems to have some new hair length going on, like sometimes her hair is down to her waist, sometimes it’s at her shoulders, and other times she has a mullet, while other times she has an eboy cut

He ends up dying his hair all the time, at first he does gold and silver highlights in really small spots so it looks like his hair sparkles with glitter when he moves

After that Nico does half of her head in blonde and the other side in black like a split down the middle type dye

And he ends up drying his hair a swirled blue and pink color as well when it’s short

When he grows his hair out long, he dyes it with the little egirl dye in the front

She also does that thing where you have a rainbow under your hair and a normal color on top

Nico gets an undercut at one point where she leaves enough in the center top to put it up in a bun or leave it down to her shoulders

He dies his hair a blue-green one time while lit’s long too and Will gets an ombre at the same time using his natural blonde and a bubble gum pink in his like “bangs” area (Will has like a halo of pink hair when he does that dye)

And yeah idk I’m out of ideas but nonbinary Nico is great actually

[malewifegradyruewen]

An Untitled Original Work Goes To Pride

happy pride!! the auow crew is gay so ofc i had to do something for pride!!

i’m realising now that i’m basically writing fanfic for my own writing but it’s fine somebody’s gotta do it

this takes place the summer before auow actually starts, so no Sammie content (or Logan, Benji, or Ellison)

disclaimer: i've never been to pride so most of this came from google and a vague memory from walking through a Christopher Street Day festival in Germany two summers ago

masterpost

trigger warnings: biphobia, swearing, light violence mention, ask to tag

word count: 1018

tagging: @fire-sapphics @damischs @zoyyanazyalensky @love-pyramus @ketterdamkid @pencilwritesshiz47 @tiergan-andrin-alenefar @mermistahawk @dirty-racoon @tommyinnitt @enbies-and-felonies @sophia-not-sofie @imaramennoodle @littlemisscupcake @cadence-talle @knifescythe @anaccidentwaitingtohappen @completekeefitztrash and lmk know if you wanna be added/removed!!

They could see the mass of people from blocks away. Thousands of brightly dressed people, with all sorts of signs and accessories to help them stand out in the crowd. Music blared louder than any concert Mally had ever been to.

Gina had swapped her all-black look for black jean shorts and purple converse to go with a t-shirt she’d tie-dyed and cropped. Leo had been slathering on sunscreen, but was growing increasingly more distracted as they drew nearer to the crowd. Andre’s fanny pack was covered in buttons and pins that the group had applied the night before in preparation for the event.

“Woah, Mally, this is insane,” Leo said. “There’s so much going on!”

“I know, right?” she said gleefully. “Come on, we can’t be late to watch the parade!”

She led the group of friends through the crowded streets of the festival, weaving past vendors and corporate booths. The crowds were thick, but she expertly dodged people, making sure to hold onto Andre's hand so the chain wouldn’t be broken. Finally, they arrived at the curb where they would have an unobscured vantage point.

“They’re starting!” she pointed. “Look!”

There it was, in all its glory. The Philadelphia Pride Parade was just beginning, and they’d arrived just in time.

“I can’t believe we’re actually here!” Gina said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I never thought I’d be able to go!”

“I know, right? My parents are so chill. I never thought they’d go for this idea.”

“Where are they today?”

“Uh, they took my sister to a museum, I think. But come on, let’s watch the parade!”

The four kids watched gleefully as the parade went by, waving at performers and screaming along to the music. They collected beads as they were thrown into the crowds, collecting several dozen and putting them all around Andre’s neck.

Partway through the spectacle, Mally turned to Gina and said, “Hold this.” She thrust the little flag she’d been holding at her friend and pulled her backpack off. She unzipped it, reached inside, and pulled out a bisexual flag. “This is for you, I totally forgot about it this morning.”

“Oh my God, Mally, thank you so much!” Gina exclaimed, hugging her friend. “I love it, thank you!” Her excitement was infectious as she unfolded it and wrapped it around her shoulders as a cape.

Mally whipped out a lesbian flag and followed suit while Gina showed her new accessoriy off to the boys. Leo grabbed a little container of bubbles out of his pocket and started blowing them in Gina’s face while Andre threw some of his beads around her neck.

When the parade ended, their chain linked up once more as they visited different booths and got countless freebies. Rubbery wristbands choked their forearms, while Leo’s shirt became plastered with stickers. Andre suddenly had not one, but four pairs of bright orange sunglasses on his face, all sporting a logo for a company none of them had ever heard of. After a bit of wandering, Gina stopped to buy a snack.

“You spent eight dollars on a pretzel?” Andre asked.

“What?” she defended herself. “I was hungry! Plus, I got a sticker,” she added, peeling off the backing and adding it to the collection that had amassed on Leo’s shirt.

“That’s still a lot,” Andre said skeptically.

“Yeah,” Gina agreed, her mouth full of pretzel. “It’s not even that good.”

“I’ll eat it!” Leo grabbed at it, but she dodged him and left him to stumble to catch his balance.

“Mine,” she said, grabbing Mally’s arm and moving on to the next vendor.

They continued in this fashion for nearly an hour, wandering the market-like plaza that had been erected on the grass. The energy level of their friend group dropped, but the party kept going stronger than ever. They passed all sorts of people, from kids younger than themselves to people who looked old enough to be grandparents. There were too many flags to keep track of, and dozens of outrageous outfits.

As the group made their way through the park, they came to an open, grassy area, where people had spread out blankets and were eating food, watching their kids run around, and just relaxing. The friends sat down on a patch of soil under a tree, soaking up a bit of shade. As excited as they were to be there, they had to admit their energy was dwindling.

Just then, a tall man in jeans and a baseball cap came up and stepped on Gina’s flag, knocking her backwards onto the ground. “Hey!” she yelled. “What the fuck!”

“Bisexual is just attention seeking,” the man said gruffly. “Pick one or the other. Don’t be greedy.”

“What the hell, dude?” Mally cried, standing up. “What’s your problem?”

“Bisexual isn’t real,” he spat. “She’s just a straight who’s trying to feel special.”

“Oh yeah? Think again,” Gina said, untying her flag and standing up. Before anyone knew what was going on, the man was on the ground, spitting curses at her.

Mally knew what was happening next before Gina could tell her. She gave a small nod before Gina grabbed her face and kissed her square on the lips. Andre and Leo’s cheers in the background only boosted her confidence. After a moment, Gina backed up and spat in the man’s face.

“Straight my ass. I’m here, I’m queer, and I strike fear into the hearts of my enemies!” she yelled as the man scrambled to his feet and ran away.

Mally turned to her and gave her a high-five. “Didn’t think we were gonna have to use that trick. Good thing we were prepared.”

“That was awesome,” Leo said. “You pushed him really hard.”

“Yeah, I was not expecting that,” Andre chimed in. “And yeah, good thing you guys were prepared.”

“Team effort,” Gina smiled at Mally.

“Yep,” she laughed back. “Is your flag okay?”

Gina bent down to pick it up. “Just a bit dirty, I think. Your gift isn’t ruined.”

“Awesome,” Mally said. “Now, who wants ice cream? It’s on me!”

[probably-writing-x]

Show it off

Request by @trap-house-homiecide - I just had a lovely idea of a tom x fashion designer!reader where he takes her to the red carpet and she’s still relatively unknown, so when everyone asks what kinda dress she’s wearing he just GUSHES about how much he loves her and her work!! Xx

~~~

It was comfortable in moments of work like this where you didn't really feel like you were working. With a cup of steaming coffee and what felt like an endless bowl of chocolate buttons, you were content to continue working for as long as your hands could. Each delicate stroke across the illuminated paper created the steps of an outfit you'd been invisioning for a while now, picturing exactly how it would look on your desired model. You moved across to work once more on the possible patterns that could suit, crosshatching along the page and considering the possible materials to match.

It was then that your interruption returned.

"Hey beautiful," Tom's voice was soft behind you as his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his head settled atop yours.

You hum in response, pressing your head back against him just a little, "Hello handsome,"

"What's this for?" He asks, his hand moving to pick up one of the sheets and scan across it, his eyes beaming with a pride that didn't need to be spoken.

"I'm designing possible outfits for a photoshoot with Haz," You explain, "Just going through some ideas," As you speak, you find your fingertips tracing absently over his forearms, welcoming the connection to break you from your bubble of design.

"And this one?" He continues, pointing to the one that was your current focus.

"Oh, no, no, that's nothing," You shake your head, "Just doodling,"

"Well that outfit looks killer. And the model looks an awful lot like me," Tom smirks, gesturing to the dark curls you had drawn on the empty model's head.

"Alright... I was just designing an outfit I thought you could wear to a premiere sometime," You admit, "I know I always style you anyway but I was thinking one day you could go in an outfit I've actually made,"

He spins you round in your chair so you're facing him, his hands moving to cup your cheeks, "You are incredible! And I would look damn hot in that suit," He completes his excitement with a cheery kiss.

You smirk, "Maybe I don't want you wearing that then. Can't have everyone else gawking over you,"

Tom grins, "Only for you, darling,"

He stops and stands upright, his hands not leaving yours as he encourages you to stand up too.

"I actually had a thought too," He says with caution to every syllable, "I want you to come with me tonight,"

Tonight. The London premiere of Tom's latest film - something he'd been looking forward to for weeks. But you were always going to go with him. He'd walk the carpet and do the interviews and you'd meet him inside to go and watch the movie - that was how it normally worked.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm coming, and I need to get your shirt re-"

"I didn't mean like that," He cuts you off, "I want you to come with me, arrive with me, walk the carpet, take the photos, all of it,"

"Tom we... I mean I don-"

"I know. I know it seems rash or like we could be risking something but I think we're ready. And I want everyone to see how goddamn lucky I am!"

Seeing the way his eyes lit up as he spoke made it near impossible to say no.

"Babe, I'd love to! But these things are a big deal and I don't even have anything to wear!" You comment, fiddling with your intertwined hands as he rubs his thumb against your wrists.

It is then that you see him glance over your shoulder to where your mannequin stood. Currently, the vintage frame was adorned with a dress you had created yourself. It was a dark burgundy colour lace with a subtle fishtail structure, fitting in a figure-hugging manner.

"No Tom I couldn't wear my-" You shake your head, part of you desperately wanting to say yes.

"You can and you will," He assures you, "And you're going to look incredible,"

And with that, you were partially convinced.

~~~

Your brushed your hands across the ongoing lace, meticulously picking at it's nonexistent faults. Was that a thread poking out? Was the slit down the leg extending a little too far up? Damnit, maybe you could find another dress. One that wasn't made by you.

"Babe can you help me with my ti-" Tom begins but all words beside two fail him when he sees you, "Holy shit,"

You blush furiously underneath your makeup, "Tom I-"

"I mean you look beyond amazing... You look... I don't -" He stutters with bewilderment, "You look beautiful,"

You smile at his words as he walks over, the tie you'd picked out hanging loosely around his neck.

"Lose the tie," You say, pulling it from his neck and tossing it to the side before undoing the top button of his shirt, "It looks more relaxed,"

You tuck in the front of his shirt in a classic 'french tuck' and fix his jacket on his broad shoulders. The outfit you'd chosen was a pair of fitted black trousers with a crisp white shirt under a dark navy patterned suit jacket, the lapel of a dark burgundy that happened to perfectly match your dress.

"There you go, perfect," You beam, kissing him quickly.

"Are you ready?" He asks, extending his elbow for you to link your arm with him.

You avert your eyes to the mirror once more, eyes fluttering over your full dress, "Yes,"

~~~

The noise and flashing lights were already overwhelming enough before you'd even made it out of the car but somehow you'd managed to do everything perfectly. You posed for photos with Tom and were even asked to do a few on your own. You made your way down the carpet with elegance and some level of confidence and beamed with an unspoken pride as you saw Tom interacting with his many awaiting fans.

"Hi gorgeous!" The familiar voice of Tan France comes up behind you, "Oh my goodness where is this dress from honey, I need more!"

You laugh and welcome his open arms to engulf you in a hug, "It's my own actually, I made it a few weeks ago,"

"Girl I am in awe, you're so talented!" He exclaims and you watch as his eyes take in the whole look, "And I know you styled Tom tonight, he is looking hot!"

You chuckle and glance in the direction of your boyfriend, "I can't say you're lying,"

"I'll see you soon okay? We need to talk more about this absolute look!" He says before hurrying off to some Queer Eye fans calling his name.

Tom made his way back over to you and you watched as his smile grew with every step that brought him closer.

"I'm just going to do my interviews and then I think it's about time to head in," He nods and you're sightly taken aback by the quick kiss he finishes with before hurrying off.

It isn't unnoticeable that the entire crowd is erupting with chatter about what they'd just seen.

You step aside while Tom ascends the couple of stairs to reach the stage and do his big interview with the host of the premiere.

It starts well with a few questions about the film before something really perks Tom's interests.

"Now we see you came tonight with your lovely girlfriend (Y/n), it's the first time you've brought her to the carpet right?" The interviewer asks, turning the microphone to the actor.

"You know, (Y/n) actually comes with me to all the premieres and all the events. She's ridiculously supportive but we always like to keep ourselves relatively private so it never seemed like a good chance to do something like this. But, of course, I want to show off how goddamn lucky I am," He grins and earns a loud laugh and applause from his cheering fans.

"Now, she looks absolutely gorgeous tonight! Who is she wearing?"

In that moment, Tom's heart truly flips and you can see him suppress his urge to happy dance right in front of everyone. Yeah, Tom got like that when he was overwhelmingly proud.

"Oh don't get me sta-" He chuckles, turning to look at you and extending an arm to you, "Come up here, darling,"

You blush furiously but accept his offer and welcome his instinctive gesture to wrap his arm around your waist, keeping you close enough to make you feel like nobody else was there.

"Um, well, this is my own dress," You admit, looking at Tom to tell him how nervous you were.

He knows you well enough for that to be enough, "Yeah (Y/n) is a fashion designer, she is the one who styles me for all my events and she's even working on making some of her own outfits for me. But this gorgeous dress is one she designed and made herself, isn't that crazy?"

You laugh and look at him, your noses close enough for them to bump against each other a little as he dips his head closer to you.

"You guys are just too much!" The interviewer exclaims, "Thank you, Tom Holland and (Y/n) (Y/l/n) everybody,"

Tom gives his fans a quick wave before focusing completely on you, wrapping you in a hug that you were thankful for in this slight evening chill, "I'm so proud of you baby,"

~~~

Tags: @imarypayne @sunshine112 @bringmethehorizonandpizza @supernatural-girl97 @vibhati123 @butithasntkilledyouyet @faefictions @carisi-sonny @trap-house-homiecide @shamelessbookaddict @tommydaspidey @oneblckcoffee @darlingtholland

[jack-andthestalk]

Chapter 1: Back to Lallybroch

Chapter Text

As my plane touched down on Scottish soil, I looked out over the beautiful landscape, I snorted to myself thinking of the last time I had touched down in Scotland, four years previous. Eager to sight see with Uncle Lamb and oblivious to how my life was about to drastically change. My first time in Scotland was a promised visit, A long overdue holiday with Uncle Lambert, while I finished medical school and still had the luxury of a summer break, before going out in the real world of hospital rotas and long shifts. The visit had been in Uncle Lambs mind for sometime, his best friend Brian Fraser owned a historical Estate called Lallybroch, in a small village, Broch Morda, high in the hills of the Scottish highlands. Since my parents had passed away three years previously, Uncle Lamb had taken me on as his own, and did his level best to be both Mum and Dad to a very broken and scared sixteen year old. Brian and Ellen had visited us plenty in Boston during those first few years, helping Lamb find his feet with a teenager and offering support wherever they could to me. We had never managed to return the visit, Lamb had plenty of times, while he worked in Scotland on digs, he always stayed at Lallybroch. He had never managed to bring me, until that summer. It was one of my best holidays, made only better by the presence of Jenny and Jamie Fraser. Brian and Ellen’s children. My first time to meet them but we became quick and fast friends. Three weeks of unadulterated fun! What was the worst the could happen? Little did I know four years ago, in an unused cottage on Fraser lands, that my son would be conceived. And here I was returning to Lallybroch again, as a guest for Jenny’s wedding. My first time in Scotland and my first time in a long time to be in my son’s fathers presence. I took a breath and stepped on to the Scottish tarmac.

***********

 Three months after returning from my holiday with Uncle Lamb I came to the slow realisation that my periods had stopped. Funny with all my medical training, I put it down to stress and losing weight over exams.

It was only as I was almost approaching my second trimester that I realised, I was in fact pregnant. One long night between the sheets with Jamie Fraser being the cause of my ailment. A frantic and absolutely awkward phone-call to Jamie ensued. Followed by equally frantic and awkward phone calls between Lamb and the Frasers shortly after. Promises of standing by me and helping, flowing free on both sides. I just lay on my bathroom floor crying, wondering how the hell would I manage to sit my exams 8 months pregnant. True to their word, the Frasers including Jamie had done everything and anything since our little boy was born to help me be a single mum and work as a doctor. He was flown back to Scotland every two months. Ellen usually flying to Boston to collect him, spending a few days with me and then flying them both home, where the little monkey was thoroughly spoilt for weeks at a time.

Jamie flying him back to Boston, brief nervous greetings at Airport arrivals with me, before Jamie rushing to a departure gate to return to Scotland to manage the estate and farm. We managed to co parent as only two modern full time working adults can, our communication being completely facilitated by Ellen, Brian, Lamb and Jenny. This was the first time I would be in Jamie’s company for longer than a few hours with our son present in years. Deep Breath.

 *********

Jenny picked me up from the Airport, Jamie had brought Willie to Inverness to pick up horses and would meet us back at Lallybroch. Willie had arrived in Lallybroch, three weeks earlier, accompanied by Jamie. I simply couldn’t wait to see my little boy. I fidgeted nervously with my hands. Imagining how the week would go, all of us together. Jenny bubbling with excitement about her upcoming nuptials, chatting animatedly on the way to Lallybroch. Her brown hair tied in a messy bun and her hands moving over the steering wheel to illustrate the story she was telling. Wedding flowers. Jenny and I, had built a strong friendship since my first visit to Lallybroch. Obviosly because of the consequences of that visit we were thrown together somewhat. The Frasers simply became family. I was the mother of Jenny’s only nephew and the Frasers only grandchild. Jenny flew out and stayed with Willie and myself often and was always on the end of the phone in both support of Willie and friendship for me. Quite simply Jenny and myself were more like sisters these past few years, I was so touched and taken aback when she asked me to be her maid of honour. I may have cried for several hours after her phonecall.

I had no siblings, and for Jenny who had any amount of friends, to pick me to be at her side on one of the most important days of her life was simply not something I would ever forget. Her gruff speech and the rarity of emotional words from her, the day she rang to ask, didn’t help the flow of tears. “Ye ken it’s no just because yer Willie’s mam, ye’ have been there for me more in the past four years then anyone, yer my sister Claire no matter what else,” she sniffed at her end of the phone and added jovially “ asides it’ll make Da happy, he can try and push you and Jamie towards the priest and legitimise his grandson.” We had both laughed at that. Jenny had been excitedly talking about her wedding, a change in her voice, interrupted my thoughts. “So ye have yet to meet Laoghaire then Claire?” Jamie’s new girlfriend. “Yes, that’s right. What is she like Jen?” Jamie had phoned me a few weeks before, gruffly stating he was seeing someone and would it be ok for Willie to meet her. I had said off course, I trust your judge of character but the whole episode had left me feeling empty and I was struggling to think why, probably because I didn’t want any other stepmum type person in Willies life. I knew that was silly because Jamie wouldn’t allow someone to act as a Mum to Willie ... and yet still. Jenny’s tone had gone a little higher in pitch when she replied. “Ach, I s’ pose she is grand Claire.. she is queer mad about Jamie, I dinna know if that’s necessarily a good thing though... she can come on a bit strong...” “What’s she like with Willie?” “Weel she came on a bit strong there too, tried to smother him with affection, to impress Jamie I presume but then she rang one of the days asking could she take him out, Mam had to tell her it wasna appropriate .. I think that stung a bit .. but it settled her down some.” The woman was going to be around my son and I prayed Jamie had chosen well. “Do ye mind?” Jenny’s voice softening. Clearly thinking this a sensitive topic. “Not about her being around Willie, but Jamie having a girlfriend I s’pose”, she finished. “No don’t be silly why would I mind, Jamie and I were never a thing”, that empty feeling returning again. “Well that’s just it, I have no asked ye before Claire but ... weel was Willie just a one night thing or was there more to it?” She glanced over to look at my face and quickly added. “Yer welcome to tell me to mind my own business, aye? But I always wondered about ye?” I simply replied. “No just the one night.” A sudden flashback of me lying spread eagled and wanting, under Jamie’s strong body. Nails clawing down his back and Jamie’s whisper of Gaelic in my ear, made my stomach clench. I looked out the window so Jenny wouldn’t see my expression. This trip was clearly unearthing regressed memories. Great.

***************

  We pulled into Lallybroch courtyard to be met by Brian Fraser. Tall and dark unlike Jamie’s colouring But had the Fraser eyes, which my son had inherited. “Ach there she is now, Claire ye look bonnier each time I see ye!” Brian’s outstretched arms waiting to embrace me. “Quit yer embarrassing pur Claire, Brian stop it.” Ellen smiling at her husband, knowing he had no intention of stopping. Brian Fraser, always the charmer and made no secret he wanted his son married to the mother of their child, partly for old fashioned reasons, partly because I was the niece of his best friend and partly, I hoped because he liked me. His teasing of the issue was guaranteed and accepted. I’d probably be more upset if he stopped. What would I do if he was jesting with this Laoighaire about marrying Jamie? Get a grip Beauchamp. “Claire, Jamie and Willie willna be long now, I’m sure yer dying to see yer wee lad, god he is a braw boy isnt he Brian Mac?” “Aye Ellen, like his Da and me..” A loud ahem from me and a smile. “Oh aye you too Claire, Jamie was only saying he gets more like ye every day.” Did he now.

I was sitting at the large kitchen table in Lallybroch’s kitchen when I heard a Jeep door slamming and little footsteps thumping through the house. “Mama... Mama!”, Willie bounding into the kitchen and up into my arms. Jamie following closely behind him, standing, arms folded and resting against the doorframe. Watching Willie and I unite, a smile on his face. “I miss you Mama” Willie clutching me about the neck, “me an Da counted down all the days ye we’re com’n on Da’s pone.” “Oh well hasn’t Da a clever pone!” I exclaimed mocking my sons pronunciation of phone, ruffling Willies red mop of hair, just like Jamie’s. I took in Willie from head to toe, satisfied that all was well and not much had changed over our three weeks apart, only a few more freckles and maybe a little taller. I readjusted my gaze and looked back up at Jamie, who was watching my ministrations with Willie, a tender look on his face. “All as it should be Sassenach?” A smirk forming on his lips. “Yes, sorry I’m always afraid il miss something”, “aye me too, Dinna fash I do the exact same.” I took in Jamie’s appearance. I always forgot how big he was. In terms of genetics I couldn’t have picked a better father. Jamie was a beautiful man. Perfectly carved muscles, a strong Viking face and beautiful red curls just long enough to tumble around his face. I couldn’t look in my sons eyes without seeing Jamie’s. Willie was quite simply his double and had all the promise of Jamie’s height too. “How was yer flight?”, I stood to greet him, with a wriggly three and a half year old in my arms. He broached the distance, kissing me lightly on the cheek. “it was good I slept for most of it”. It’s great to finally get here and lovely to see everyone. I forgot how beautiful Lallybroch is”, Always good to see him. We stood for a minute taking in our son, before we could hear Ellen shouting to bring me up to my cottage. -

[artificialqueens]

Isn’t it lovely...pt.2 {biadore} - imafuckinglibra

“Ask, and it shall be given you.” - Someone from the Bible probably somewhere idfk.

“Ask and daddy will write it for you.” - imafuckinglibra. (Can you tell I’ve been listening to Bianca’s audiobook on repeat?)

Dear anon, Yes I read notes. And that goes to everyone else sending me notes, both of you. So here is a bonus chapter about what happened after Danny posted the selfie in the last chapter. You don’t necessarily need to read the last chapter to understand anything here but it might help context wise so go ahead idk I’m not a scientist. XOXO - k bye

“How the fuck ya’ll doing!” Bianca yelled loudly into the mic at the cheering sea of people walking out onto the stage. “Since it takes Visage a good fucking 3 hours to fit those titties into her dress I have to be the one to do her fucking job. Fucking douche.”

The crowd cheered at her shady comment about the usual MC as she slapped the big blue cards labeled with the bubbly ‘snatch game’ logo on her palm to straighten them out.

“Before something else goes wrong let’s bring these assholes on stage and get it over with!” She quipped stepping back from the curtains to allow the other queens an easy entrance.

Without wasting time she introduced the other queens, or celebrities, as they had to be referred to for snatch game. First up it was Sharon as her now iconic Joan Rivers, next Manilla as Madonna and then Alaska as her, weirdly very accurate, Laganja.

“And of course we saved the 2nd best for last, because she lost, Adore Delano!”

Bianca called the last queen’s name out ignoring the few aw’s from the crowd and watched as the younger queen skip out onto the stage in her grungy make up, oversized flannel and bright red wig nearly falling off her high chair when she went to sit down.

“Idiot.” She mumbled under her breath away from the mic giving the audience a second to calm down as Adore waved enthusiastically at them between throwing Cheetos their way.

She tried to remain as professional as possible and keep her distance from the younger but had found herself a few times between questions wandering back to the end of the line next to Adore.

Every so often the grungy queen, who was eating Cheetos out of a bag almost bigger than her, would make faces at her between answers distracting her from what the other contestants were saying.

“Oh, fuck you! It’s comedy!” Sharon drawled on in her shakey impression of Joan’s voice after the audience gasped at her Bruce Jenner comment.

“Alright beautiful.” Bianca intervened before Sharon could add anything else, throwing a shady expression her direction to keep a straight face so she could read the next question.

Hearing her answers a million times never got old, neither did her lame impression. For some reason it always hit her right in the funny bone and once or twice in the bus after a few drinks Sharon had used it against her.

Somewhere on one of their fellow tour mate’s phones a video of them drunk off their asses going “O-oh.” repeatedly existed. A video which she prayed never fell into the wrong hands.

“Uh, Adore, I just want to say I feel like you were coming for me.” Alaska jumped in before she could even look at the card for the next question.

Bianca turned away from the audience and started laughing loudly just from the sheer stupidity of the back and forth happening between Alaska and Adore after Adore’s high pitched. “When?”

Even just the memory of actually being there during the real exchange of words till this day made her piss herself because of how ridiculous it was, especially Laganja’s llama face during it all.

“Okay! Focus people, let’s get this shit over with for fucks sake. Hedda the Hoarder is such a…fuck you cunt.” She snapped spinning around quickly when she felt something falling out of her wig.

The hushed giggling from the audience turned into a loud eruption of laughter as she stared down the culprit who was grinning mischievously back at her with her hand still hovering mid air.

Adore quickly grabbed another bigger piece from the bag and placed it halfway between her teeth wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

“No.” Bianca broke face and shook her head but Adore didn’t let up. She simply continued wiggling her painted black brows.

Damn this bitch had her wrapped around her finger.

She caved and almost hesitatingly leaned forward biting into the cheesy snack, their lips grazing over each other lightly in the process but Bianca never allowed them to fully touch and give Adore the satisfaction of a kiss.

Which wasn’t easy that’s for shit sure.

They’d been on the Battle of the Seasons tour for about a month and in that time they’ve only had one night off where they could stay in a hotel thus far.

Being in different bunks separate from each other and unable to find any privacy had taken a drastic toll on both.

In the year since Adore, or Danny, had posted the photo of them together and not so subtly announced their relationship to the world they’d only been separated for a few nights. Not being able to touch her love or even share a bed was doing things to her Bianca would rather not speak off.

Once Bianca pulled back after biting into the Cheeto Adore did a quick little victory dance in a small circle.

“Yeah I eat. Okay here we go.” She quipped at the cheering people but when the stickiness of the snack started coating the roof of her mouth making it hard to chew or even speak she had to turn to the back of the stage.

“You okay, babe?” Adore quietly asked behind her.

“Food.” She brushed off the other’s concern and deadpanned smacking her lips. “Here we go.”

When she still couldn’t talk she turned away again trying to contain her own laughter. She saw Adore peering slightly to one side laughing at her. “You fucking look like a poodle eating peanut butter.”

“I’m not use to that.” Bianca started laughing along in the way she usually did right before a shady comment. “We don’t do that when we have money.”

There it was - the shade.

Adore, who was picking up a Cheeto that she failed to catch in her mouth, sprung up like an angry emo meerkat and glared at her popping the dropped treat into her mouth.

She quickly moved on through everyone’s answers and made her way back to the start of the queue at Adore. Eyeing her suspiciously in case she dropped a cheeto on her again before she asked the next question.

“The city of Las Vegas is so queer, the mounted police ride…”

After Adore’s very classy burp for an answer she wiped off her mic against her gown. Milking the moment by pulling a few shady faces and making a comment about never thinking she’d be excited to hear what Manilla had to say as she made her way between the 2 queens.

Just as she started repeating the question to Manilla Adore rested her head on her shoulder sending butterflies through her stomach.

Being out in public in drag still felt oddly taboo despite neither of them ever really shying away from any form of pda when they were out of drag.

She ignored the fluttering in her tummy and continued reading the question off the cardboard cue cards. In the split second before Manilla could answer Adore, with her chin resting on her sequined shoulder, whispered in her ear. “Quick kiss?”

She titled her head slightly for a quick peck just in time for Madonna to answer with Coco Montrese.

“And that was our snatch game our winner tonight is…who the fuck cares!” Bianca shouted after moving through Alaska and Sharon’s last answers as swiftly as possible.

But as she was saying goodbye thanking all the girls a final time she felt something scratchy slide off her shoulder and instinctively shot back already knowing who’s responsible. “Fuck you did you put food on me?”

“3 times.” Adore behind her smiled biting her lip.

“You did not? Party, pizza, it’s cool. Chola.” She channeled her inner Adore as best as possible singsonging random catchphrases as the younger started slowly exiting with the rest.

Bianca’s stare lingered in the bitchiest face she could manage watching the other queens disappearing behind the curtains before she ran back to the front of the stage to go in for the kill.

“I’m traveling with these people for a fucking month, girl. This is fucked up goddammit.” She pointed to the curtains unable to resist throwing in her last bit of shade before she jogged off after the others to go change as well.

“You’re going to have Cheeto hair now.” Adore turned in her heels holding her arms out when she noticed Bianca approaching behind her.

“Don’t do it again cunt.” Bianca snapped waving a finger in front of her face and giving her a quick kiss before shooing her along to the dressing room. “Now back to work. Go, bitch, go.”

-

“Adore, you ready?”

“Mh-yep.” The tall queen enthusiastically smiled as she skipped towards the big black couch in the little area set aside backstage for the girls to get ready in.

After the show they had to do a casual interview with some people from MTV about being on tour.

It consisted of 4 parts - how to throw shade, what makes a good selfie, high school yearbook awards and then a final one focusing on Adore Delano and her latest album.

The girls were all huddled in a corner watching the interviewer pull Adore to one side, Bianca however was standing so close to the cameraman she was practically closer to him than his shadow.

She warmly greeted the girl half her size already sitting down and the questions began.

“Hi, I’m Lana Cummings here from MTV and I’m here with season 6 finalist of RuPaul’s Drag Race and drag’s pop princess, the ever so lovely Adore Delano.”

Adore held her hand under her chin waving her fingers in true childish Adore fashion. “Meow meow.”

“It feels like this is the most you’ve sat down in the last, I don’t know, year, isn’t it? You’ve been pretty busy.”

“Yeah man, I um, I released my album Whatever last year. And I just finished the first half of my tour and now I’m doing this and when I’m done I’ll probably be going back on tour with my band again. Gotta make that money, money, money though you know?” She singsonged flashing her brightest smiled while fiddling with the zipper on her half zipped onesie with the sleeves tied around her waist.

Adore had untucked and gotten out of her costume the minute that curtain went down as always so when they asked her for the interview she simply slipped into one of Bianca’s onesies and a t-shirt.

“Now, speaking of your tour and the fact that you’re wearing a BDR onesie.” As she spoke Adore’s eyes flicked up at Bianca trying to hide her smile at the sight of the older queen panicking. “You and Bianca Del Rio, winner of season 6 of Drag Race, also announced your relationship last year and have since been labeled the power couple of drag.”

“Apparently, yeah.” Adore flipped some hair off her shoulder.

“I know she’s just as busy, how do you find time to even have a relationship because I mean you seem to be doing very well.”

“A lot of pissed off agents.” Adore started laughing hiding her mouth behind her hand.

“I can imagine, you’re referring to the last leg of your tour I’m assuming? She joined you this time on it, didn’t she?”

“Yeah she did, which has been totally awesome by the way.”

As she was talking about the last year of their relationship Adore started thinking back on all the sacrifices they’ve had to make since.

They had reworked their schedules, adding a few new shows here and there to their individual tours to allow them some time together. It wasn’t easy though, it meant once or twice Bianca would stay in a town for 3 days waiting just so Adore could come perform and they’d spend one night together.

It went on like that for the last 6 months of Bianca’s comedy tour till it finished and she could join Adore full time on the final 2 months of her tour.

Unfortunately that meant they had a very limited time back home to be together, a ‘real couple’, before they joined the rest of their sisters on the BOTS tour.

The real problem was that they were both severe workaholics with an annoying habit of never saying no to a job which was putting a strain on their relationship - physically that is.

2 weeks of no intimacy and Adore was already threatening to jump out of the bus into oncoming traffic.

Luckily for everyone’s sanity, not just the over eager love birds, it was finally an off weekend. They’d get to stay in a hotel for the night after the show before it was on to the next state.

“How has that worked? I mean isn’t she coming out with another movie? And I heard rumors of a book?” The reporter pulled her back from her thinking.

“The movie they had already wrapped filming on when we started touring so that wasn’t really a problem, but it comes out…” She quickly leaned back a little to look at Bianca for an answer. “May 18th! It comes out May 18th. And then yeah, she’s also been like writing a book and has these make up wipes coming out and shit, which are really good! Everyone go buy them. I want to go on a vacation after this.”

Bianca dropped her shaking head into her palm making Adore giggle even more.

“That’s amazing definitely be on a look out there! Back to you a little, you’ve always been very…open, with fans. Very candid. Has that changed since you’ve become public as a couple or how has fans received the news?”

“Um no, I don’t think it’s changed to be honest. I think like a lot of fans are sad because I don’t hook up with them anymore but for the most part everyone’s like, I knew it! I just think my fans are happy that I’m happy.” She smiled at her love proudly watching her, the hint of jealousy Adore was expecting after the hooking up comment twinkling in her eyes. “And that old fuck makes me very happy.”

She wasn’t lying, she was genuinely happy

After coming out to the public and drag fans around the world they’d only gotten closer. Adore had less panic attacks and freak outs about stress and Bianca actually took more time off from work to take care of herself too.

“Because I’m gonna’ die soon and she gets the cash.” Bianca chimed in with a scowl making everyone in the room laugh.

Adore blew her a kiss which she returned with a wink before they continued on with the rest of her interview.

-

“Well done ladies! Enjoy your free time and I’ll see you lot on the bus first thing in the morning!” Michelle raised her glass of champagne when the crew left and the ladies could all finish becoming themselves again.

The now half dedragged queens all raised their various beverages ranging from a diet coke to vodka and everything in between, everyone enthusiastically clinking them together.

“I cannot tell you how fucking relieved I am to finally get to sleep in a real bed.” Sharon sighed with a hint of laughter coming through when Adore dropped down next to her to finish turning back into Danny.

“Sames though.” The younger queen agreed looking up in the reflection at Bianca who was allowing Courtney to peel off her lashes.

“Well at least you have people to share a real bed with.” Courtney handed Bianca her lashes and looked over at Adore.

“That is true.” Bianca winked at her making the younger blush, seeing her so openly acknowledging their relationship made her heart light.

Getting to be an official couple had turned out even better than Danny had ever hoped it would. Sure Roy was a little ticked off in the beginning about how they - he, did it but that wasn’t long lived.

They spent the majority of the first month or so dealing with their relationship being the only question that would be asked in interviews or meet & greets with fans.

And whenever a fan would spot them together either at a show or just exploring whatever city they were in they’d usually get the same reactions.

“I knew it! Biadore was real!“

Or

“But what about so and so? I thought you’d make a way better ship.”

But they learned to brush it off fairly easily enough and continue on with their daily life. A daily life which Danny now sorely missed.

Being on tour with his friends and now his love was amazing, but he could finally 100% sympathize with why Sharon took Chad everywhere. The few months of touring without his man was torture.

“You done yet?” Roy’s hands on his shoulders knocked him out of his daydreaming.

“Mh-hm.” Danny nodded looking at them both in the reflection now fresh faced again.

“Anyone want to share an Uber?” Aaron asked handing Chad, who’s scrawny arms were already full, another one of his bags.

“We going to the club? That one we passed with the naked trade up front?” Jason, now dressed in his usual club outfit with his 50’s bad boy curl, chimed in.

“Yes, we’ll meet up with you there.” Aaron and Chad both agreed.

“It okay if we sit this one out?” Roy kissed Danny’s cheek.

“You guys don’t mind?”

“You do you.” Courtney shrugged but quickly turned red, “Not like that.”

“Or yes like that.” Jason grinned.

“Fuck you. See you bitches tomorrow.” Roy greeted the other queens off to their night out

-

They opted to walk back to the hotel instead of sharing the ride with Aaron and Chad so they could take in a bit more of the beautiful European city.

With Roy’s hand in the back pocket of Danny’s saggy grey jeans and the other holding his phone checking through his social media the couple made their way through the busy streets lit up with the locals chattering outside restaurants and bars.

Roy enjoyed moments like these. Simple moments of affection or privacy that every day couples took for granted.

Sure they weren’t Kardashian level famous but still, if they were simply walking around Hollywood like this they’d be stopped by drag fans around ever corner asking for selfies or a moment of their time.

Getting to just be with Danny in peace for once was almost relaxing, especially after nearly 2 years of only getting to sneak around in dodgy club bathrooms.

“Can you believe it’s been a fucking year?” Danny commented, clearly having the same thoughts haunting him. “Like when that reporter mentioned it I was a little like what the fuck for real?”

“Year and a half.”

“Really?” Danny looked at what Roy was scrolling through and saw it was the now infamous selfie he posted. “507 days. Year and some change. Wow.”

“Three years if you count the stuff before that.” Roy casually added.

“I don’t even think I own furniture that old.”

“You regretting your decisions there, Noriega?”

“Nope.” Danny kissed his temple. “I like being with you.”

“Oh yeah? What do you like?” Roy smiled.

“That you make me really good food or like cuddle me every morning instead of letting me get out of bed so I have an excuse to be lazy or late. Or taking bathtubs with me every night. Or throwing the blankie over me when I fall asleep on the couch. Or taking my make up off for me at the end of the night if I’m too loaded.”

Roy watched Danny’s expression soften and his eyes light up as his mind worked out more examples. It was nice to know that Danny felt the same way about him or that he was at least needed.

“Your mom likes me.” Roy added one of his own.

“That’s because you’re the same person.” Danny laughed making Roy blush.

He couldn’t fight the facts, they had the same personality and no bullshit approached to life which made it easy for them to bond fairly quickly. They even called each other once a day to complain to one other either about Danny needing a haircut or if he was eating healthily enough.

Bonnie had welcomed him into their family long before they ever went public. Not to mention when they did she was the first to text them with wedding plans, honeymoon locations, joined names, baby names, matching I heart my daddies outfits for the dogs - everything.

God knows how long she’d been planning all that shit.

“That looks so good.” Danny commented stopping dead in his tracks. Roy looked up from his phone to see what he was drooling at.

He had to resist the urge to roll his eyes when he saw the object of Danny’s admiration was a conveyer belt of pizzas. “Want one?”

Danny nodded enthusiastically running over to the shop and Roy followed behind digging in his backpack for his wallet.

With Danny’s face pressed up against the sneeze guard and Roy hand’s lazily petting his back they went through all the options searching for which looked the best.

“Adore Delano!” They heard a girl behind then yelling in a thick British accent.

“Oh my god! It’s Bianca too!”

“Can we take a picture?” The first girl asked and without really giving them a chance to answer the pair and their friend pulled out their phones.

Danny and Roy looked awkwardly at each other as each girl took a queen by the arm and snapped a shot or two of them all together.

“Thank you so much!” The second girl started squealing looking at her phone already posting the picture.

“Take one of us too?” Danny, as gullibly naive as always, handed one of them Roy’s phone after grabbing it right out of hands.

Danny struck a pose next to the pizza with his elbow resting against the sneeze guard and Roy following his lead just showcased the pizza of Danny’s dreams. He knew there was no use in fighting it anyway.

The girls thanked them for being so gracious and almost as quickly as they appeared they ran away giggling amongst themselves.

As soon as they were out of earshot Danny turned his attention back to the pizzas and pointed at which slice he wanted.

“Really queen?” Roy asked scowling at him when he smiled back at him after ordering.

“Why you mad?”

“Don’t just fucking hand people my phone you idiot.” Roy scolded and quickly payed the man behind the counter, thanking him for posing too when they took the photos.

“I trust my fans.”

“I don’t even trust you.”

“That’s mean. You’re mean.” Danny took an aggressive bite from his treat.

“It good?” Roy wanted to make a shady comment about his childish behavior but the way his face lit up in bliss was just too cute.

“Tho good.” Danny took another big bite and closed his eyes chewing. “I’d thrade your dick for thiths pizza anyday.”

“Oh?” Roy raised a brow taking the pizza away from Danny and helping himself to a bite. “Well then fuck you you can sleep out here tonight.”

“No! I’m sorry, I’ll never disrespect your dick again.” Danny quickly tried taking back what he said embracing Roy.

“No, no. It’s too late. You’ve had your chance.”

“But daddy.” Danny whined pushing his bottom lip out.

“Ugh fine.” Roy rolled his eyes and pushed him off looking for their room key when they approached the hotel lobby. “But I’m topping this time.”

“But you look so cute when I’m topping.”

“Oh now I’m ugly too? Shady cunt.”

“Only when you’re mean.” Danny shrugged.

Roy snorted and pushed him into the elevator. Once the doors behind them shut he pressed Danny up against the wall and grabbed his dick through his pants.

“Careful. You’re not exactly getting in my good books here.” He growled palming him.

“Then you’ll have to fuck me till I learn my place.” Danny moved his hips up to meet Roy’s warm hand, feeling his underwear growing snugger.

Roy reached his hand inside the loose denim hanging around his waist and took hold of the head of Danny’s cock, giving it a squeeze. “You know what today is don’t you.”

“Uh-huh.” Danny nodded hissing softly when Roy’s thumb started stroking the fabric in circles. The friction against the sensitive head of his cock almost painful yet extremely pleasurable.

They heard the door pinging indicating they were approaching their floor and Roy quickly pulled his hand out just in time for the doors to open.

Instead he took hold of Danny’s hand and lead the giggling younger queen to their hotel room struggling to contain his own need for him any longer.

Once they were behind the locked door clothes began viciously flying over heads, starting with Roy’s jacket till only his pants and Danny’s tiny black briefs remained.

Danny got down on his knees to slide down the pesky joggers Roy was wearing that were getting in the way of him and his dick.

The rushed nature of their moment simmered down when their eyes met and something different than arousal ignited inside them both.

“Happy anniversary, my sweet.” The small glimmer in the brown of Roy’s eyes and the soft curving of his dimples around a faint smile as he said it reminded Danny that they didn’t have to worry about being caught anymore.

This was real. It was their anniversary and they were really a real couple. No rushing, no hushed I love yous, no hiding their commitment. It was like they were free.

“Happy anniversary.” Danny stood up and their pumped lips tenderly brushing over each other said the rest for them.

Once he felt Roy’s erection twitch against his Danny sunk back down to the task at hand that was previously interrupted.

Kissing between his hipbones first, savoring every slight quiver of Roy’s body as his lips placed gentle pecks all along the heated tan skin.

Slowly he pulled his boxers down kissing the newly exposed skin as he went till it was finally lowered enough to let his dick free.

Immediately when Roy’s dick sprung up Danny grabbed the head in his mouth making Roy release a very relieved sigh.

His hand stroking him off while his tongue continued lavishing the head with as much affection possible he looked up at Roy watching the lust pooling in his eyes.

With a sneaky smile he flattened out his tongue and trailed his cock along it till he it reached the tip of his tongue and he licked up any pre cum slowly oozing out. Watching Roy’s patience dwindling more each second.

Roy threw his head back when Danny took him in his mouth again, working him in further inch by inch with every pass of his head’s bops.

His painted nails scratching gently along the shivering tan thigh when he took him all in, holding the thick cock down his throat looking up at Roy for approval and the permission to pull back.

“That’s it, good boy.” Roy ran his fingers through his hair before pulling him back up by his jaw to resume their tender make out session. Their tongues leisurely dancing over and around each other as their hands felt up their bodies.

While Roy’s hands were exploring the sides of his slim waist Danny took him by the hand and lead him to the lusher than average hotel bed.

Going to lie down on his back with his hands cupping Roy’s face they drew out the moment for as long as possible. Simply enjoying every second of being together again at last.

Roy hovering over him with his hand snaking along Danny’s torso, his belly and down his inner thigh before traveling back up made the younger shiver with anticipation.

Danny was the first to cave and tear himself away from his lover with a smile before flipping himself over. Resting on his stomach wiggling his ass at Roy telling him exactly what to do without using his words.

Roy tried hiding his slight chuckling at Danny’s eagerness making him grind his hips into the sheets telling him to hurry it up. Instead he took his time pulling Danny’s underwear off caressing his cheeks after discarding the briefs. “I missed this ass. This perfect little impatient ass.”

“I can’t help it, being without you is actual torture. I hate it” Danny whined.

“I know baby.” Roy pulled his cheeks apart just enough to kiss around his entrance.

Danny lifted his ass every time he’d feel his lips against him in an attempt to get him closer to his target.

Eventually Roy couldn’t keep up his teasing any longer and started first by kissing his asshole gently before his tongue went to work. Every time he’d lick around the small pink muscle it made Danny whimper.

His whimpers soon turning lower and lower till they were full blown moans when Roy’s pointed tongue entered him.

“Please.” Danny breathed into the sheets looking back at him. “Your bag I think.”

Roy kissed his ass a final time and quickly reached behind him searching for the bag next to the bed. While he hunted for the lube Danny rotated himself again so he’d be on his back, stroking himself while he waited.

Roy resumed his position over him with his knees resting between his legs. While making out again Roy massaged his hole with his thumb now drenched in heavy pink lube.

Danny brought his legs up against his chest when Roy eventually began lubing himself up as well.

Now simply staring at each other Roy gradually began entering him, watching Danny’s mouth drop open wider the further he pushed himself in.

“You good?” Roy asked as he started rolling his hips very slowly. Barely moving at first to allow Danny’s asshole to adjust again after their 2 weeks of forced celibacy.

“Mh-hm.” Danny nodded running his hands up from his thighs to pull his ass into him trying to get more.

Roy’s shallow thrusting began picking up pace when the tight asshole enveloping him relaxed at last.

Not long after the dimly lit room filled with a symphony of bodies slapping and the joined moans of both men so starved for intimacy finally getting what they most needed.

“Kiss me.” Danny whispered between pants.

Roy bent down to kiss him with as much intensity as his hips slapping into him while his hands on Danny’s ribs kept him pinned down.

With the younger’s legs over Roy’s shoulders he could fully enter him with ease. The force of his body driving every inch of his dick into him not only driving Roy completely wild but also very clearly Danny but the way he was gripping the sheets.

“Harder.” He pleaded closing his eyes. His fingers around the fabric only clenching tighter when his thrusts turned deeper, more forceful as asked.

Knowing exactly how down right evil it would be to tease Danny like this when his orgasm was building up a steady momentum Roy sat back on his knees.

Danny however surprised him by simply opening his legs and with a smile he took matters into his own hands - literally. With a firm grip around his dick he began jerking himself off while a now slightly thrown off Roy added more lube onto his cock.

“Enjoying the view?” Danny raised a smug brow watching Roy following his lead. Stroking himself as well, staring with a somewhat proud expression at the hand jacking himself off.

“You’re so fucking stunning.” Roy praised in a low, hungry voice, running his fingers along Danny’s inner thigh. “And so is your beautiful fucking cock.”

While Roy continued working himself he leaned down into Danny’s spread lap and took as much of his cock into his mouth as possible. “Ah shit…” Danny dropped his head into the pillows when Roy’s well experienced mouth began sucking him off. Hollowing his cheeks as his head bopped in rhythm with his hand.

The way he twisted his head every time his mouth closed back around the tip of his cock before enveloping his entire member only made Danny unbelievably desperate. “Fuck me please. Please, Daddy.”

Roy smirked victoriously for getting him to beg, he knew Danny only called him daddy like that when he was truly unable to contain himself.

Keeping his hands on Danny’s hips to help guide him Roy reinserted himself back into his tight hole.

Being just as impatient as his love at this point he wasted no time in picking up his previous pace immediately, disregarding the body trembling beneath him from the sudden intrusion.

“Oh fuck me.” Danny breathed out, his eyes locked between their bodies to watch his ass getting pounded. “Fuck that’s good.”

“Keep playing with yourself.” Roy instructed and Danny happily obliged still jerking himself off. “Good boy.”

Fueled by the guttural moans coming from the younger Roy’s shallow thrusting quickly morphed into deep deliberate strokes, hammering himself balls deep into his ass as he began feverishly kissing his neck again.

Gnawing at the heated skin below his jaw, at the spot he knew all to well could turn Danny into jelly in mere seconds.

“I’m going to cum.”

“When?” Roy’s nails dug into the soft skin of his hips allowing him to pick up the tempo of his movements again. “Soon.”

“Tell me when.” When Danny didn’t respond Roy pulled his attention back to him with his fingers digging into his chin so he could look straight into his hooded hazel eyes. “Answer me.”

Danny nodded, unable to form words from the tightness in his abdomen growing unbearable. He lifted his head up so they could kiss again as he pushed him back slowly into a seated position without ever letting his cock slip out.

Roy leaned back with his hands holding onto the sheets behind him as Danny took over, bouncing vigorously onto his lap desperate to finally climax.

The head now buried in Roy’s shoulder and teeth biting into whatever flesh it could find leaving red teeth marks all along his collarbone and up his neck was enough to tell Roy exactly what was about to happen even before his warning.

“Babe.” Danny cried.

Roy hastily pushed him off onto his back and lunged between Danny’s legs to take his cock in his mouth before it was too late.

Danny instinctively grabbed hold of his short black hair with both hands, bucking his hips up to shoot his load down Roy’s throat with a final few high pitched grunts.

“That’s it.” Roy praised squeezing the tip of Danny’s still pulsing cock to work out the last of his cum careful not to let any go to waste.

The gorgeous view from where he was sitting was nearly enough to make him bust his load right then and there as well.

He still couldn’t fathom how the gorgeous young man on his back, squinting through slightly glossed over eyes with his puffy plump lips wide open was really his.

Roy let go slowly of his cock licking the last remnants of his orgasm off his lips when Danny brought his hand down to caress his cheekbone with the back of his knuckles.

“Roy. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Roy smiled and began attempting to make his way back up Danny’s body when the younger stopped him.

“Wait,” Danny pushed himself up with shakey limbs and rolled over. Playfully wiggling his round ass in front of Roy’s face again. “Show me.”

“You still good for more?” Roy asked giving the bubbly ass a good hard spank.

“Always.” Danny bit his lip.

“Up against the wall.”

Danny obeyed and scooted on his knees over to the headboard with his hands resting above it as Roy reinserted himself behind him.

“I really do love you, so so much.” Roy emphasized every word with a bite along his nape. Covering the orange butterfly tattoo with small kisses as he resumed his thrusting.

Showing Danny exactly how much he needed him with every rapid slap of his body against his. His arms clinging around his waist as tightly as the pressure was building between his legs.

“I want you to cum inside me.” Danny whispered looking back at him.

His seductive words sent straight electricity down Roy’s spine. His hand held Danny’s head up exposing his reddened neck both from his arousal and the hickeys already forming on it.

“Dirty fucker.” He breathed against one of the faded bruises from their first night in a hotel on tour before clamping onto the skin again.

“Mmh your dirty fucker.” Danny mused licking his top lip.

“You are mine.” Roy said softer, the nature of his words and the heavy slams against his ass contrasting each other.

“I am. I’m yours, only yours my beautiful Willow.” He whispered against his lips as they met once again. The arm stretched behind him caressing the back of his head.

“Let me look at you.” Roy instructed pulling out again giving his ass a hard slap. “Back. Now.”

Both now back in their starting position again Danny scratched his nails into his ass making Roy hiss as he slid into him again.

He pulled him forward so he could look into his eyes holding onto either sides of his jaw.

“You gonna cum for me?” Danny bit onto Roy’s lip.

“Fuck yeah.” Roy breathed out into his mouth when his orgasm continued building closer as fast as he was pummeling into him.

“Cum for me baby.”

Danny’s sultry words of encouragement alone were enough for Roy to be pushed over the edge he’s been trying so hard to keep himself away from.

“Oh…fu…” Roy groaned pounding himself balls deep into his young lover again a final time when he gave into his orgasm. Shooting his load into Danny’s ass.

His limbs began trembling struggling to keep himself upright when his much awaited climax hit him like a ton of bricks.

While coming down from his orgasmic high he kept himself steady by focusing just on kissing those lips he loved, letting himself grow limp inside him before he pulled out and rolled over next to him.

“You’re secretly such a cock whore I love it.” Danny snickered wiping some leftover cum from earlier off Roy’s chin.

“Pot meet kettle.” Roy slapped his chest in retaliation. “Now go clean up.”

Danny gave him a very offended look which was made keeping a straight face at nearly impossible for Roy. “You made the mess you clean it, and because you’re so bossy you can call room service.”

“Hey I’m not doing all the work, you lazy bitch.” Roy rolled off the bed and walked over to where he threw their bags earlier. Digging through his backpack for his glasses case. “Besides,if you don’t cook or clean you won’t exactly make very good wife material.”

“Whatever.” Danny rolled his eyes throwing a pillow at Roy.

He took his glasses out and threw the other contents they hid from the girls in the small blue case out on the bed next to Danny before he went into the bathroom to get them a cloth.

After cleaning off the so called ‘mess’ he made Roy sat back against the headboard. Danny was resting against his chest with Roy’s arm protectively around him and their fingers intertwined.

Danny lifted their clasped together hand examining their woven fingers before smiling up at Roy kissing him softly. “Happy 6 months, bossy.”

“Happy 6 months, my love.” Roy tilted his head smiling into his lips kissing him back.

“Should we tell?” Danny held their hands up in front if them, admiring the way the lamp’s soft glow hit the gold around their fingers just right making it sparkle. “Husband.”

[howsmyhairlook]

Texts From Last Night Writing Prompt:

•Brand hosted events. When a baby influencer gets the invite to their first ever event, with all the swag and monogrammed gifts, that was when you knew your clout was climbing in the right direction. All those over-staged flat lays and maintaining the grid aesthetic had finally proven worth the effort.

My first brand hosted event was in NYC. I’d been invited to a few, but I still had some dignity, and took my desire to be a well respected influencer seriously, and so I had declined the ones that simply didn’t make sense for what I was trying to accomplish with my account. I was no sell out, Mr. Mhmm was not an easy buy bitch willing to promote shit I didn’t actually like. Flat tummy tea? Pfft. Hair gummies? Please. My locks were natural and salon maintained like they should be. I didn’t mess with the work of my stylist. He’d cut my ears off if I did.

I knew holding out on accepting events that didn’t necessarily match my vibe would delay the instant gratification everyone craved, but I actually wanted to stay true to what I had been building. It was a slow process and one that wasn’t without blood, sweat (ew) and a few tears. So when an up and coming clothing brand, owned by someone who was out and proudly queer invited me to a fashion show during Pride, I RSVP’d faster than I could deny the squeal of delight upon reading their email.

Attending an event like this was not just a fun weekend away, it was also work. Having my flight, hotel and of course all the food and drinks when I attended their events paid for wasn’t exactly “free”, I was expected to in return post no less than twenty stories highlighting the goings on through the weekend. At the time, I thought it was an easy price to pay. My insta was going to be a three day weekend promo. I had it all planned out, I’d be the best attendee they had ever extended an invite to.

The night was going perfectly. The food was delicious, drinks were flowing, and the first of three fashion shows scheduled for the weekend had me doing multiple double takes in the best possible way. I made sure to snap a photo of each piece I loved and gushed appropriately about it on my feed. My followers were loving it, and the brand had shared my stories on their stories. It felt like the perfect execution of how an influencer and a brand could collaborate together.

The second night was an early evening show that delved into menswear and BOY was I feeling it. This particular fashion show had the models mingling among the crowd allowing everyone to get a more up close look at the clothing. Let’s be honest, though, the man candy was where my eyes were landing. And, because I’m me, I dressed to impress.

Once or twice I was confused for being part of the show. It was quite the ego boost. Not to mention a compliment to the designer that my vintage Gucci suit jacket fit into the vibe well enough to have me being confused for a model. The only difference was that instead of wearing any kind of slacks like the models had on, I was wearing tailored shorts to show off my argyle socks which were being held up by leather garters. I never skipped an opportunity to show off such an underrated accessory.

I also didn’t skip an opportunity to enjoy the free drinks each time one of the waitstaff would pass by with a tray. Selfies were being taken, numbers were given out. People were telling others to slide into their DMs. I’d given my number to more than a handful of people I’d had conversations with. It was exactly as you’d imagine a gathering of tipsy people might progress.

When the evening seemed to be winding down and the room had thinned out, I decided it was time to head back to my suite for the night, grateful the fashion show had been held in the same hotel the brand had booked my room. As I waited for the elevator to arrive, my phone, which had been buzzing most of the night buzzed again, only this time, it vibrated in my pocket to indicate I’d received a text from an unknown number.

Swiping it open with my thumb I smiled upon reading the words.•

(870) It was great chatting with you tonight. Too bad you decided to leave…

•I’d spoken with so many people this evening, and given my number out to the majority of them, I had no idea who was on the other side. My response was a polite thank you before asking who it was. The speech bubble popped up, then disappeared for a couple of seconds before another text came through.•

(870) Also, wanted to tell you, I really liked those socks you were wearing.

•An odd compliment but I was happy to take it because I loved my socks. Then, another text came before I could reply to the still nameless person.•

(870) There’s something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.

•Um.

What?

The elevator had arrived but I ignored it, instead turning around and looking throughout the lobby to see if anyone had followed me. I wasn’t lucky enough to find my mystery texter giving me the obvious sock lover vibes so I replied again to ask who it was. Instead of an answer, another text came through.•

(870) A bunch of us have headed to the club down the road, you should join. I’ll tell you who I am if you show.

•I hesitated, but not for very long. The mystery was too much, I HAD to know. My reply was quick, telling them I was on my way. I kept my eyes on my phone as I made my way through the hotel lobby, but my unnamed texter left me on read. Tempting me even further to get there as quickly as I could. I didn’t even know the gender of the person I was going to meet, not that it mattered to me.

Maybe I was being foolish going out on my own to meet some person at a club in a city I didn’t really know that well, but my fearlessness was fuelled by alcohol and I’d most likely realize the error in judgement in the morning. For now, I was hailing a cab to take me a mere couple of blocks just so I could meet this person sooner, walking would only delay the reveal of what I was anticipating to be an Ah Ha moment. Any amount of patience I normally possessed had vacated my faculties quicker than my followers had liked my posts from the show earlier in the evening.

My arrival at the club was anti-climatic.

Nobody was waiting outside for me. Rude. Then again, I wasn’t some Pretty in Pink girl who was coming of age, I was a grown ass man following the request of a semi-weird text just to learn who the sender was. For the record, though, I could totally rock the colour pink, if I wanted. I wasn’t biased when it came to colours I’d wear.

By some kind of luck. No, actually, it was by the grace of New York clubbing standards, it was still early despite the actual time, and there was no line to get in. I found myself taking in the atmosphere and sounds while eyeballing every group of people I passed on my way to the bar, staring a little too hard at their faces, hoping one might strike as familiar. They didn’t.

I placed my request for a drink with the bartender, my buzz was fading and with it, my gusto to see this through. His smile was easy and friendly as he spoke.• “One Last Word for the dapper dresser.”

•He winked and I slid him some cash with one hand while the other lifted the glass so I could down the entire drink in a couple of gulps. The gin flowed effortlessly down my throat, and I tapped my fingers on the bartop, trying to decide if I wanted a second. As I was deciding, a deep raspy voice sounded from behind me.• “I’ll take a Pussyfoot, please and another here for Mr. Mhmm.”

•I froze. His voice. Oh my Gucci. My body had a visceral reaction to it as I felt the rumble along with the sound of it. I wanted to hear more, I didn’t even care that he had ordered the strangest sounding drink I’d ever heard. He moved to stand next to me, and I turned to get a look at who I assumed was my mystery texter.

He had been at the event earlier in the night, and we had spoken, though I didn’t recall giving him my number. My eyes scanned over his body and I could feel them growing wider the further they travelled. Long gone was his suit and tie. He’d made a costume change, and was now in full leather gear. Where his hair had been artfully tousled, it was now slicked back. More than all of that, which was QUITE the sight to behold on its own, from the lines at the corners of his eyes and between his brows, I realized he was at least twenty-five years older than me. He chuckled deeply at my reaction and didn’t that sound just hit me right in the groin. I shifted from foot to foot, trying to shake off the reaction my body was having. It didn’t work.

I was TRULY speechless and this leather daddy was letting me suffer. He said nothing until our drinks had been made and delivered. I wanted to ask what was in his, but I was pretty sure I’d caught a glimpse of an egg yolk being dropped into his glass so I took my own and swallowed half before I could get my tongue to form proper words.•

I don’t remember giving you my number. Also, thank you for the drink. How did you get it?

•He grinned at my jumbled thoughts but seemed to make perfect sense of what I was trying to say. He took his time sipping at his drink before speaking, and I got the distinct impression he enjoyed making others squirm. The silence was killer but I resisted the urge to fill the space, willing to wait to hear his voice again. He didn’t disappoint.• “You’re welcome. A friend of mine passed your number on to me after I wouldn’t shut up about your garters.”

•The reminder of my beloved accessory had me looking down at them, and I laughed as I realized they were leather, no wonder he liked them so much.• Oh yes. Nobody likes slouchy socks, right?

•I snapped my mouth closed when his grin turned slow and lecherous. I’d said his magic words, apparently, and most likely reminded him of his text about how sensual sock removal could be. I held my breath waiting again for him to deem enough time had passed before he was ready to speak some more.• “I prefer them to be pulled as high as they can go so I can take my time removing them.”

•Yep. Definitely my mystery texter. But now what?!• What do you want with me? What’s your name? Do you have some kind of sock fetish? I’m not judging if you do, honest. I just can’t seem to shut my mouth up, this kind of thing has never happened to me.

•Instead of answering my twenty questions, he nudged my drink closer to me, picking up his own and then stepped away from the bar. When I grabbed the glass, he nodded his head for me to follow. OF COURSE, I was hot on his heels. I wanted all the answers. For how much he had no problem doing all the speaking during the text exchange, he was unsettlingly silent.

And yet, I followed him all the way to a curtained off area that was entirely private. There was a small table that sat low to the floor in front of a leather sofa. He sat down first, the leather of his pants creaking against the sofa. Then, he placed his drink on the table before tapping the spot beside him. I moved to sit, leaving some space between us. He grinned, not seeming to mind that I hadn’t landed my ass right where his hand had indicated I should be. Once I was seated did he decide to speak, answering only the questions he wanted to.•

“My name is Charles. You can call me Charlie. Or Daddy if you prefer.” •He winked at me before allowing his eyes to sweep over my body the way I had done to him at the bar. His eyes stayed on my socks as he continued.• “I really do love your socks. Can I see them closer?”

•My head tilted in confusion, first because I was not the type of person to call anyone daddy regardless of my wide open sexuality. Second because I was not really sure how much closer he wanted my socks to get when we were already only a couple of feet apart. He took my silence as hesitation and reached down to grab one of my feet, putting it in his lap and holding it there until he was certain I wasn’t going to pull my foot away.

Charlie began to run his hand up my shin, his fingers were light and gentle, tracing over the different coloured shapes. When he got to the top of the sock, his index finger dipped below the elastic, pulling it away from my skin and allowing it to lightly snap against my leg. Such an innocent act felt obscene and dirty.

I didn’t know whether or not I was turned on or off. I did know I wanted to see where he was going with this. Next his fingers moved to the garter at the top of my calf, he traced over it the same way he did my sock. Taking his time, studying the details. I took his low grunt as approval. I knew the leather was soft and supple, not to mention high quality and by the sound he had made, he knew it, too.

His other hand had moved to the lace on my shoe, pulling the bow loose and grabbing ahold of the heel to slip my shoe off completely. I thought maybe I might be getting lucky with a foot rub...

I was wrong.

SO very, very wrong.

I found myself full of shock when he leaned forward and put his mouth on my foot. Not a kiss, or anything sweet and simple, but completely wrapped his lips around my toes and filled his mouth with my foot. I felt his tongue through my sock trying to push between my toes, the fabric growing wet with his efforts. He moaned around my foot and I felt the vibrations all the way across my sole.

That was the moment I decided any chances of being turned on were long gone. Not even alcohol could help me be okay with this. I was not into this the way Charlie very clearly was. I pulled my foot back and sputtered as I shook my head.• Nope. No way. No. I’m sorry but no matter how hot you are, and how much my dick loves the sound of your voice, can I get on board with toe sucking.

•I stood, and stepped backward, abandoning my unfinished drink. He seemed to be expecting my reaction and I watched in horror as he grabbed my shoe and began to smell the inside of it. That definitively answered the fetish question he had ignored.

If anyone noticed I was all but running to the exit, they didn’t say anything, thankfully. I probably could have walked at a normal speed but I was not looking to find myself a new hook up or have any more drinks, and I certainly was not going to wait around for Charlie to finish enjoying himself with my shoe. Absolutely not.

As I settled into the cab, and gave the name of my hotel to the driver, I decided the separation of such an amazing pair of shoes was worth the loss just to bring the entire foot blowjob experience to an end. This was what I deserved for attempting to mix a working weekend with someone else’s pleasure. With a relieved sigh, I resigned myself that next time I received a mystery text, I was going to ignore it the way I had ignored all the signs Charlie had been giving me to indicate he had a foot fetish.•

[eldritchsurveys]

876.

5k Survey IV

151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming? >> I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard 200 adults talking at one time. Regardless, I’m sensory-defensive, so many things register as the same level of “too loud” for me. Both of these things would be simply “too loud”. 152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? >> I find them vaguely interesting. I liked the X-Files episode about it, Gillian Anderson’s character (it wasn’t Scully, technically...) was excellent in it lol. 153. Who are you the most jealous of? >> I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it. 154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? >> In an Inworld cuddle pile. 155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? >> Occasionally.

156. Who thinks that you are offensive? >> I don’t know who thinks I’m offensive. It’s not like people go out of their way to tell me that or anything. 157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? >> I’d rather not. I greatly prefer being a student, anyway. 158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? >> I’m sure science could contrive a reasonable enough explanation for the things I experience (and if it can’t now, it probably will eventually). Regardless, I prefer my explanations, and I’ll stick to them. 159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don’t know what it is? >> An experience being explained in a scientific fashion doesn’t prevent it from being mystical. There are plenty of mystical experiences that science has an explanation for, after all, but the people involved in those experiences keep their own counsel. I think both a mystical explanation and a scientific explanation can exist comfortably side-by-side in my brain; they’re both useful for different reasons, particularly when it comes to communicating the experience to others (I wouldn’t use a mystical explanation when speaking to a hard materialist, for example, because, like... what would be the point...?). 160. Do you get offended easily? >> I wouldn’t say that, no. But I tend to be automatically distrustful of people who seem to go out of their way to be “offensive”. Just because whatever they’re saying doesn’t directly hurt me doesn’t mean I want to hang out with someone who says the kinds of things they say. 161. Would you still love and stay with your significant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? >> I can’t imagine being affected by that sort of thing at all. 162. Do you believe in fate or free will? >> I don’t care to choose a side. I think the discourse around it is interesting. 163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? >> Of course not. That’s a rude (and, of course, entirely inaccurate, but mostly rude) thing to say. 164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? >> What does this even mean? 165. What changes are you afraid of? >> The kind that cause me pain. 166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? >> I prefer to be awake in the daylight and asleep at night. 167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? >> Why would I even have to do this anymore? It’s 2020. 168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? >> For me, all of them are equally bad. Well, okay, maybe food service is worse because there’s the added layer of having to handle food and be around mucky gross things. 169. What’s the coolest job you ever had? >> Manning merch tables at local shows. 170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? >> There is no central idea...? I’m not sure how one even determines this. 171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? >> I was one in Inworld’s first iteration, when I was physically a child. But I have never really had interest in being one in this world. 172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? >> Total power exchange is totally not my scene, I’d get bored of it way too easily. I could absolutely see myself snapping, “make a fucking decision for yourself for once” after like an hour or two, lmao. 173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? >> Gemini. I’m not going to go into an explanation of Gemini’s commonly-recognised traits, Google can take care of that for you. 174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? >> I haven’t seen it. The new Blair Witch game looked vaguely interesting. 175. Are you in constant fear of death? >> Not constant. I did spend about a year or so like that, recently. It sucked pretty bad. 176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? >> No. Sometimes I get that bone-deep “what’s the point” feeling, but like... that feeling will just have to exist on its own while I go ahead and keep doing stuff. I can’t give in to that. 177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? >> I’m not sure what the alternative is, or what the difference is or whatever. 178. Are you a fan of any comic books? >> Sure. 179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? >> I don’t remember. I vaguely recall one happening when I was young, but I have no idea what exact age I was. 180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? >> Just... like, a person. I showered this morning, but the fragrances from soap and lotion don’t linger very long, and it hasn’t been long enough for me to start smelling like sweat or anything. So I’m somewhere in the middle. 181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? >> Oh, you know. People. 182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? >> My father never had that discussion with me, I figured it out from reading books. 183. What is your favorite band? >> I don’t have one. 184. What’s the best cheesy 80’s song? >> Come On Eileen. /picks one at random 185. What’s the best kind of movie to see on a date? >> I’m not the person to ask. 186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? >> Back, absolutely. And woe unto the people who have the same idea and try to sit near me. 187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? >> Yeah. 188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? >> The circumstances where I really just want to do whatever-it-is and it isn’t too intensive, I guess. And where I feel like my work is valued in some other way if not financially. 189. Candles or strobe lights? >> Candles. Although sometimes in a dark area, a candle flame dancing around on the wick will have a kind of strobe-y effect, and I hate it. 190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? >> I don’t know, I didn’t read the book. 191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? >> I don’t think of them as a potential anything.  192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? >> Obviously it’s cultural, or every human being in every society on earth would fear and distrust everyone else with or without cause... which... is not the case... 193. What do you really want to buy? >> Nothing. I don’t have the money to buy anything right now, anyway. 194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? >> God, do I hate this question. First of all, neither money nor love are “everything”, but “love” is work, not some kind of magic bubbly gushy feeling that happens no matter what, and that work starts to take a backseat when all one’s energy is devoted to simply surviving from day to day. How do I know? Take a wild guess. Second of all, the question doesn’t take into account whether you can also love someone you’ve married for the sake of financial security. (Spoiler: remember, love is action and will and intent, not magic, so yeah, you can.) Third of all, can I stress that there’s nothing fucking romantic and movie-like about being homeless? Because sometimes I feel like people imagine “we’ll share a cardboard box and be free of the shackles of modern society <3″ or some shit and meanwhile I’ve seen homeless couples, many homeless couples. I’ve been homeless couples. It sucks. That’s the end of the story. It sucks. (There’s probably similar romantic notions about marrying some tycoon and being a kept lady/boy, or whatever, which do not at all measure up to the reality. I’m sure a lot of people end up abused and neglected and miserable in their gilded-cage master bedrooms, afterwards. But since that’s not my experience, it wasn’t the focus of my fathomless ire with this question, lol.) 195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? >> That’s not going to happen. 196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves ‘one nation under god’? >> I don’t think it’s odd because I’m pretty used to how the United States works in that respect. I know it operates under conservative, Christian hegemony while playing the role of secular, progressive Western nation on the outside.

197. In what sense are you a minority? >> I’m Black, disabled/neuro-atypical, socially considered female, trans, and queer. I think that covers it. 198. Are you anti social? >> No. I have a few asocial behaviours and inclinations, but I’m not anti-social. 199. Do you photograph well? >> Sometimes. Not often, in my opinion. 200. Do you think that human beings would survive through a nuclear winter? >> I don’t know. I’m not knowledgeable enough about either human biology (and psychology) or the specifics of nuclear winter to say.

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 5 – Call Me, Beep Me

In which Neil is introduced to the wonders of modern technology, the battle against heteronormativity continues, Andreil have An Interaction™ and Nicky finally reclaims his status as best person alive.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

We start this chapter off with Neil recapping how he’s super broke, which is already the most fucking relatable thing.

“Broke” here meaning “I am in possession of half a million dollars, however I’ll need it for my entire sad runaway life so I can’t spend it on anything fancy”, not “I’m a poor intern who’s getting paid below minimum wage”, obviously.

The reason we’re evaluating Neil’s financial status is because some unexpected expenses have come up in his life that he is ruthlessly and cruelly forced to :

He’s going shopping with Nicky.

Well, technically the rest of the monsters are there too, but let’s be real, Nicky is the driving force of Operation Let’s Get Neil Into Some Decent Nice Clothes, And Hopefully Also Laid.

The reason they’re venturing into the scary, hostile territory of an American mall is, of course, the fast approach of one particular banquet.

           “I could just not go,”  Neil said.

           “Shut up. You’re going,” Kevin said, like he wasn’t dreading this himself. All fourteen southern Class I teams would be in attendance, and that included Edgar Allan’s Ravens.

Oh, yes. Fun times with That Fucker™ himself. Have I mentioned I’m really, really looking forward to this thing?

           It was a short list of names and numbers in bubbly blue print. Nicky leaned over and made a dismissive noise. “Seriously, Aaron?”

           “Dan asked me to get a list from Katelyn,” Aaron said.

           “Who are these people?” Neil asked.

           “They’re the single Vixens.”

           “They’re all women,” Nicky said. “That doesn’t help us.”

Nicky saying ‘Fuck you’ to heteronormativity will always be my favourite thing <3

Although, as funny as it is, Neil has repeatedly told him he’s not gay. And while I totally understand the frustration of someone insisting they’re not queer while your gaydar shouts otherwise, can Nicky be a little less pushy about it, maybe?

Just a thought.

           “Stop being a bad influence,” Kevin told Nicky. “I am going to make him Court. It’ll be easier if he remains heterosexual. You know more than any of us how prejudiced people can be.”

Guys, he is literally right there.

Neil thinks so too:

           “We aren’t really having this conversation,” Neil said.

           Nicky clapped his hands to either side of Neil’s head as if trying to shield Neil from their argument. It didn’t really work, as he missed Neil’s ears completely.

Bahahaha. I actually had to laugh out at that mental image.

           “Come on, Kevin. Even you have to admit this is really weird.”

           Andrew threw his hands up. “Newsflash, Nicky: Neil isn’t normal!”

           “This is beyond abnormal.”

           “I am standing right here,” Neil said, “and I can hear you.”

You tell ‘em, Neil.

Nicky, has someone explained the concept of demi/asexuality to you? Like, ever?

Deep sigh. Will I have to do it, or does someone enlighten this boy before the series is over?

(Don’t tell me. I want to continue giving sarcastic running commentary to his running commentary on Neil’s sexuality.)

On a more serious note: The subject of Allison is brought up once again.

           “I won’t bring her,” Kevin said, because someone had to break the quiet. “You might have brought Riko’s wrath down on the striker line, but I’m the reason he’s in the south in the first place. Neither of us has the right to speak to Allison now.”

Is that……. Kevin being….. human…….. with a basic scrap of…….. compassion………?

AMAZING. WONDERFUL. WOW.

    ��      “I know Riko was behind this. I know what people like him are like. Be glad you’ll never understand the way they think.”

           Any other time, Neil would be relieved to hear such words from Kevin. It meant Andrew hadn’t told Kevin the truth about Neil’s past and that Kevin had yet to recognize him.

Yeah, and I’m still unsure on whether I’m buying that whole ‘Kevin doesn’t recognize Neil’ act.

Like. It still doesn’t make sense to me that you could play hours and hours of little league, not to mention watch a guy get legit murdered with this kid, and be fooled with a bit of hair dye and some contacts? Unless puberty did Neil Josten really, really well, I’m calling bullshit.

On the other hand, that comment did sound genuine and y’know, it would support that even the mighty Kevin Day’s brain makes a mistake or two sometimes.

On the other other hand, the mighty Kevin Day is an excellent actor, trained by years in front of cameras, who could drop comments like these and sound like he’s being entirely 100% genuine.

On the other other other hand, why pretend to not know Neil? Maybe not in front of the rest of the team, alright, but if it’s just the two alone? Why ignore their important shared history?

My brain hurts. I need to stop going in circles over this. All in due time, Nicki.

This is for real one of the questions I’m most excited to have answered by the end of this series.

           Neil looked at the massive bundle of clothes in Nicky’s arms. (…)

           “I have good taste in clothes, right? If you want to try them on you can, but you don’t have to. I know they’ll fit.”

           “Why would I want to try them on?”

           “Oh, because these are yours.”

Can I have my own personal Nicky who takes me to the nearest Topshop and picks out bomb ass outfits for me??? Please and thank you.

Neil, however, is an ungrateful fashion grouch, not thanking Nicky with one word as he obviously does not understand what a service to everyone’s eyeballs Nicky has probably just done.

However, all that fashion banter pales against what happens next – which is where the chapter gets really good.

           “What is that dinosaur?” Nicky asked, dismayed. “No one put money on a flip phone, Andrew. You just ruined a really good pot.”

           Neil idly wondered if there was anything his teammates wouldn’t bet on.

Oh my GOD. You bet on what sort of phone Andrew had? I love this team so, so much.

Wait. Shouldn’t they know his phone? Why are they betting on that.

Wait. It’s not his, is it.

           “You couldn’t even have found him a qwerty?”

           “What for?” Andrew finished what he was doing, snapped the phone shut, and tossed it at Neil. (…) “Who is Neil going to text?” (…)

           “What.” Neil couldn’t even make it a question.

They got him a PHONE, you guys. A PHONE. THAT THEY CAN CALL. AND TEXT. FOR KEEPING IN TOUCH. FOR INCLUDING NEIL IN GROUP SOCIALIZING.

I am loving the FUCK out of this.

Neil, however, is not.

           He didn’t think a small thing like this could hurt so much, but the grief that punched through him left him in pieces. (…) Every time they moved they got new cell phones, prepaid burners they could ditch at the first hint of trouble. He’d wanted to keep hers. (…) He’d thrown them into the waves before leaving the beach.

Whoops.

Today’s Casually Mentioned, Yet Heartbreakingly Sad Neil Fact is: This.

           He’d never gotten a new one for himself. He’d never seen a point; Neil had no one in the world he could call.

Excuse me while I quickly drown in my own tears.

And although Nicky tries to calmly and gently reason with him (“That’s our just-in-case. You’ll make us all feel better if we know we can find you”, brb crying), Neil refuses to accept the damn phone.

That is, until, of course, until #bestboy Andrew shows up with it at their Late Night Kandreil Training Sesh™.

           Andrew took his phone out of his pocket and set it down beside Neil’s. His was black but otherwise seemed to be the same model.

Do I get emotional over the fact that they have matching phones? Maybe.

Is it totally ridiculous as Andrew probably just bought him what he knew worked? Probably.

Will that stop me? Absolutely fucking not.

           He flicked both open and pressed a couple buttons. A few seconds later Andrew’s phone started to ring. Neil expected a generic ringtone, but a man started singing. It didn’t sound like something Andrew would assign to his phone until Neil listened to the lyrics. It was a song about runaways.

Andrew, you wonderful little shit. <3

Also, that song either Run Boy Run by Woodkid or Ghost Towns by Radical Face and no other headcanons shall be accepted.

(I’m totally kidding. PLEASE do send in any other ideas you have, my TFC playlist still needs filling.)

Andrew bugs him about the phone thing (needing to watch his boy’s back and what have you <3), Neil dishes out some BS about how he used to keep the phone his dead parents gave him in hopes they would miraculously call again, bla bla.

Andrew is not taking that bullshit and supplies us with some sassy times instead.

           “Who am I supposed to call?” [Neil said.]

           “Nicky, Coach, the suicide hotline, I don’t care.”

           “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.”

           “I’m surprised you even forgot in the first place.”

           “Maybe I didn’t.”

What a comeback, bro. This is weak af coming from a guy who tore down Riko on national TV, just sayin.

           “There has to be a better way.”

           “You could occasionally grow a spine,” Andrew suggested. “I know it’s a difficult concept for someone whose kneejerk reaction is to run away at the first sign of trouble, but try it sometime. You might actually like it.”

           “What I’d like is to put this phone through your teeth.”

           “See, that’s more interesting.”

           “I’m not here for you entertainment,” Neil said.

           “But, as expected, you are talented enough to multitask.”

I’m loving this so, so damn much. Andrew is destroying your ass with these comebacks, Neil, and I’m on the back waving a styrofoam finger, hollering at everything he says.

I would like to also add that Andrew is entirely sober for these interactions. This is pure, undiluted Minyard sass.

And as always – never a one-on-one Andreil Interaction™ without some feels at the end:

           “I don’t care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don’t care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it..” Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil’s chin and forced Neil’s head up until they were looking at each other.

Hombre…………………….….. das v gay.

           “One day you’re not going to run. You’re going to think about what I promised you and you’re going to make the call. Tell me you understand.”

           Neil’s voice had left him, but he managed a nod.

:’)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I’m fine I’m fine leave me here to fucking p e r i s h.

Neil takes this brief honesty hour to try and get back on that weird call from the Oakland PD Andrew got at the start of the book, however that ends honesty hour because Andrew just brushes him off:

           “Children’s Services is opening an investigation into one of my foster fathers. Pig Higgins knew I lived with them, so he called me for testimony. (…) Richard Spear is an uninteresting but relatively harmless human being. They won’t find anything to pin on him.”

Bull-fucking-shit. No way. That was much too shocked a reaction for a little thing like that.

Whatever. All in due time, all in due time.

Onto better and funnier subjects: This is the wonderful, wonderful point where our favourite hobo is finally introduced to the wonders of modern technology.

           By the time Neil made it to the athletes’ dining hall for lunch he had twenty messages. Most of them were from Nicky, idle comments about nothing in particular.

Nicky <33333

Also twenty messages, that is hilarious if you consider that Neil jumps out of his skin like an anxious baby rabbit with an orange bandana every time his phone goes off.

           Neil didn’t know what to make of it. The Foxes spent seven hours together at practices every day and roomed with each other at Fox Tower. How they had anything left to say to each other was beyond him.

It’s called having friends, dude, you should try it some time.

           He wanted to turn the messaging off somehow or tell them this wasn’t why he had a phone. Phones were for emergencies, not running commentary on a teacher’s boring lecture.

Nicky continues to spam him with texts the next few days, which, honestly, big mood.

If I like you, especially if our friendship is just being newly established, I will fucking blow up your phone with wholesome memes and weird 3am thoughts. Watch me.

This tactic has made some good ass friendships though, so no regrets.

However, for Nicky it’s not just all fun and friendship-making:

           Halfway through [Nicky’s] rant about a current class project Neil’s phone hummed. Neil answered without thinking. It was a smiley face from Nicky. Neil looked up at Nicky, not understanding.

           “See?” Nicky sounded pleased. “That’s much better. That’s how a normal human being looks when they check their phone, Neil.”

Dude. Did you just………….. blow up his phone all week………… just to make sure he’s comfortable using it…………………. I CRY???????

           “Question,” Nicky said. “If I hadn’t been bothering you would you have touched that phone at all this week?” (…)

           “Question again: Do you honestly think you’d have used it if you had an emergency?”

NICKY WHEN DID YOU BECOME SUCH A GOOD PERSON AGAIN I’M SORRY I BRIEFLY UNSTANNED YOU LET ME FUCKING L O V E Y O U

           “Anyway, you’re welcome. I just saved you at least two hundred dollars in intensive therapy.”

MY DUDE <33333333333

Nicky is a wonderful person, Neil knows what an emoji is, all is good in the world again.

Next chapter: Fun banquet times! Sass! Shade! Fashion! And from all I know, possibly murder yet again! Stay tuned!

---

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

[jujucollective-blog1]

Best Albums of 2016

Disclaimer: Albums are not listed in any particular order. Also, this is Sierra's opinion, but if you have more faves, comment them below!

1. Telefone, Noname

Honestly, who else can make death sound like how a sweet Halls cough drop tastes in the dead of winter as you sit in your parents’ bed waiting for your mom’s homemade soup? That’s right, only Noname. The wordplay, musicality, everything on this tape is beautiful. It’s comfort, it’s dissonance, it’s nostalgia - it is everything 2016 was in 10 song project.

2. Bucket List Project, Saba

If there’s any underrated artist that took 2016 by storm, it is Saba. From Get Comfortable to Comfort Zone and now Bucket List Project, there is clear progression in his lyrical content, production, and overall confidence in himself that shines through.

3. The Healing Component, Mick Jenkins

Whenever healthy discussions of love are brought into a collective dialogue, how could it be anything other than greatness? Mick touches on love in so many different contexts - love of self, love of others, love of work/career -  that it’s nearly impossible for everyone to not connect to at least one aspect of this album.

4. For All We Know, NAO

This album reminds me so much of 90s Brandy/Moesha with NAO’s own twist. It’s free and reflexive and reminds me of springtime afternoons alone in my room planning all the good things to come in the upcoming summer while shedding all the fears I harbored in the winter. This is an album of freedom and self-discovery.

5. The Divine Feminine, Mac Miller

I’ve slept on Mac Miller for so long that I can’t even lie I checked out his latest album because Anderson .Paak was featured. After hearing it though, I was pleasantly surprised. 1. Positively and genuinely paying homage to feminine energy is always a win in my book and 2. Knowing a bit of the dark points with drugs and alcohol in Mac Miller’s life, this tape is a breath of fresh air to hear him be able to regain control and continue to better himself. Also, he has some of the most strong vocalist features on this how could I not include this?

6. 99.9%, Kaytranada

New aged House, soul, funk, and electronic music is back and all in one! It’s always so refreshing to hear tapes by producers, to truly hear music from their perspective. This tape is perfect for cardio workouts and quiet walks beside the water alike!

7. Anti, Rihanna

Rih Rih really killed this. Like, really. She gave us crazy vocals on “Love on the Brain” and had us all acknowledging our worth in “Needed Me,” she even brought (bae) Sza along on “Consideration.” So many gems on this project.

8. A Seat at the Table, Solange

This was a blessing from the musical gods. Solo took four years off to craft a timely and timeless piece of art. Not only is this a project for Black narratives, this project also allowed us to witness Black performance art and fashion on late night television. A Seat at the Table is such an important work that validates young Black people, creative and not, in all sorts of ways - many I can only imagine.

9. Stoney, Post Malone

 Surprise, surprise. Post really did his thing on this one. I’m sure many thought “White Iverson” would have been his only hit, I kind of did, but no this project has so many hits. It’s much more soulful than I expected. There is rock and hip - hop, a little bit of pop - this tape is wondrous and has some phenomenal features.

10. Coloring Book, Chance the Rapper

On Ultralight Beam, Chance said he’d make an album where there’s “not one gosh darn part you can’t tweet.” He succeeded. Coloring Book is full of old Black church hymnals with contemporary young adult narratives. This tape oozes the Great Migration blues and Black Chicago soul. Nodding to Grand Crossing, a Chicago Park District, and the Rink, a well known rollerskating rink on the Southside, two places I know well, Coloring Book is a for Chicago by Chicago project…that’s also nominated for 7 Grammy’s and the first of its streaming history to do so.

11. Blonde, Frank Ocean

It’s Frank Ocean.

12.  “Awaken, My Love!”, Childish Gambino

Ohhhhmyyyygodddd!!! Donald Glover/Childish Gambino impresses me as a creative and his ability to successfully exist as both people, simultaneously! This album, in particular, is my fav by him and I’m not sure if it’s because he sampled Bootsy and The Spinners both on the intro alone or if the cover art is insanely hypnotizing and kept me in a trance listening to the album, but my soul was happy all the way through.

13. Freetown Sound, Blood Orange

Dev Hynes said this album was for all the Black kids that had ever been “too” anything, too Black, too shy, too queer, too happy. Freetown Sound opens so powerfully with a poem by Ashlee Haze titled “For Colored Girls (The Missy Elliot poem)” that beautifully articulates feminism of the everyday person, the kind that doesn’t need fancy words or huge lecture halls to validate only the will to see beauty within one’s self.

14. HEAVN, Jamila Woods

“Black girl be in a bubble, bubble…” it’s almost as if you can hear the bubble Jamila chooses to keep herself in, a bubble of protection and comfort not of fear and distance. This project is an ode to Black Girl joy, validates our desires, and whispers lullabies of love and light to all the Black Girls around the world.

15. The Sun's Tirade, Isaiah Rashad

This album is honest and reminds us all of the everyday struggles many of us are inundated with. “If I could pay my bills, I’m good…” yes, Isaiah. That is a real thing, something so many of us focus on and can relate to. Relating to a very long, very hot day with its title, it’s fascinating how each song maintains its composure despite the likelihood of losing one’s mind via the heat.

16. iiiDrops, Joey Purp

This is Chicago.  This is a melting pot of N.E.R.D-like production, rock, early 2000s 50 Cent-In Da Club-esque rap, and “I’m going to make my city proud” Chicago energy. Purp went from in the studio fun with the guys “Photobooth” to lyrically poignant “Cornerstore” one after the other without anything feeling forced. This was definitely a gem of SoundCloud projects.

17. Lemonade, Beyonce

Chile, Aunty Yonce had everyone talking about grabbing some Hot Sauce and brewing a fresh batch of lemonade for those “wild” moments. Complete with a visual aid at the release of the album, everything from the aesthetics to the acknowledgment of Black mothers who have lost their children at the hands of the State to beautiful images of Black southern life, Lemonade was, in short, a masterpiece.

18. The Life of Pablo, Kanye West

We can (and rightfully so) critique Kanye and his way of going about many things, but we cannot deny him as a creative musical genius. Production wise and its existence as a living album proves his ability to consistently innovate his way into the pantheon of musical artists.

19. Escape Velocity, Theo Croker

It’s like Kamasi Washington’s musical younger brother who can obviously hold his own. Croker is not new to the seen, but if it’s your first introduction to him that would be the best description. It’s really just beautiful music.

20. Aviary: Act II, Eryn Allen Kane

So. Much. Soul. This 5 song EP will have you, your parents, and your grandparents feeling every note Eryn sings, hanging on to every word, and have you talking like you’ve gone through the depths of despair at the basin of every inch south of the Mississippi River.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

20 Stylish Birthday Gifts The Woman In Your Life Will Love

http://fashion-trendin.com/20-stylish-birthday-gifts-the-woman-in-your-life-will-love/

20 Stylish Birthday Gifts The Woman In Your Life Will Love

It’s a universally acknowledged truth that nothing quite takes the edge off growing yet another year older than receiving a stonkingly good birthday present. Even the birthday naysayers who like to ignore their own special day are secretly happy when presented with a thoughtful gift.

Which is why we have trawled the shops to bring you the best birthday presents in the land for the woman in your life, guaranteed to score you some serious brownie points. From fashion to foodstuffs, there’s something to suit even the fussiest of birthday girls. Now all you have to do is master the wrapping up.

A Blouse Top

Remember cult London label Antipodium? Nope, well you can bet that the fashionista recipient of this gift will. And so she’ll be thrilled to receive something – anything – from Creative Director Geoffrey J Finch’s latest project.

Initially launched exclusively at MatchesFashion, the power of Blouse – AKA deconstructed shirts and printed tops – can now be felt at Selfridges, too. With his tongue firmly in his cheek, Finch’s references run from Keeping Up Appearances’ hilarious Hyacinth Bucket to Shania Twain and RuPaul’s Drag Race’s Alyssa Edwards (natch), and he splashes them across the front and back of his perfect – and mindfully manufactured – cotton tees. Safe to say, if her sense of humour is as strong as her sartorial nous, she’ll be into it.

Buy Now: £65.00

Lingerie That She’ll Love

For far too long the lingerie market was dominated by designers that catered more to the male gaze than to the woman who would be wearing the damn underwear. But not any more; there is now a slew of brands creating undies that women will actually want to wear. So wave goodbye to cheap red lace and nasty crotchless knickers, and instead gift her pretty (and comfortable) silk pants, delicate bras in unexpected colour combos and bold bodysuits that are so achingly cool she’ll want to wear them as outerwear.

Basically, if it could get her accused of solicitation, take it out of your basket.

Buy Now: £45.00

A Cult Gaia Bag

If there was a bag that owned the past 12 months it was the bamboo ‘Ark’ clutch from LA-based brand Cult Gaia. We’re not sure how you didn’t notice – it was all over Instagram, cluttering up your feed. Just large enough to carry an emergency Mexican chicken wrap in it (pro-tip: this is an important requirement for a lot of women), it has a vintage feel while remaining ladylike.

While the OG is still relevant, designer Jasmin Larian has expanded her portfolio, introducing the kind of new shapes and materials that will ensure the brand isn’t a one-hit wonder.

Buy Now: £300.00

A Dainty Ring

Contrary to popular belief, women aren’t just hanging around desperate for a hunk of glass to be put on their finger – they like other jewellery too. Especially if it’s a sleek, Scandinavian-style piece that’ll fit in with the rest of her magpie haul.

Of course, the only thing to be careful of when it comes to ring shopping is the size. If you have access to her jewellery box then try one of her rings on your little finger and see how far down it goes, or if she doesn’t notice when things go missing, take a ring to the jewellery shop with you.

If you prefer to do your shopping from the comfort of the sofa, go for a pared-back design that would look good on any finger.

Buy Now: £109.99

A Pair of Shoes

Flats, heels or mules, nothing says, “I actually listen to you and pay attention to your style” as an on-trend pair of shoes. And with fast fashion ever-increasing in speed, Topman’s big sister brand Topshop is never a bad place to start. One of the best high street stores to translate pieces from the catwalk into something altogether more affordable, you can count on them to have her well-shod.

Buy Now: £56.00

A Silky Shirt

By its very nature fashion is transient, but while trends come and go there are some things – like a Chanel handbag – that will always be appreciated. Yet they don’t have to be bank-breakingly expensive.

Eternally relevant, a silk shirt (or even just a silk-feel shirt) will always have a place in a stylish woman’s wardrobe. Smartened up for work or paired with jeans at the weekend, it’s the chameleon of the closet. Right now, pyjama-style shirts are having a bit of a moment and it’s not hard to see why. After all, given half the chance who wouldn’t want to wear their PJs all day?

Buy Now: £29.99

A Bottle Of Gin

Unlike its Scottish cousin, whisky, which has to be matured for an age, gin doesn’t take very long to make, which is partly why there has been such an explosion in the gin market. It’s not just being manufactured in the UK and US either; from Japan to Norway, new gin producers are emerging across the globe.

It’s the ease of manufacture which lends itself to independent, craft booze makers, so now you can probably pick up a bottle that’s been made within a five mile radius of your house. Supporting the local economy never tasted so good.

Buy Now: £30.00

Pyjamas

Similarly to underwear, when shopping for pyjamas you have to think about what she’d want to wear and not what you think looks good. Comfort is absolutely key. But that doesn’t mean nightwear has to invoke the spirit of Wayne and Waynetta Slob; from silk pyjamas that cost hundreds to breathable cotton designs on the high street, there are plenty of options to pick from.

River Island is currently offering an excellent collection of embroidered PJs – we’re particularly into this nightshirt, which proves they’re not just for Scrooge.

Buy Now: £26.00

Charlotte Tilbury Products

British makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury has worked her magic on a number of famous faces, with Kate Moss and Kim Kardashian both benefiting from her skills. Having worked in the industry for over 25 years, she launched her eponymous makeup and skincare range in Selfridges in 2013, and it was an instant success.

As prettily packaged as it is effective, we’re convinced that most women would be happy to receive something from the Charlotte Tilbury range – in fact, she’ll probably be impressed that you even know who she is.

Buy Now: £60.00

Champagne Bowls

The design of the Champagne saucer has been variously attributed to both Marie Antoinette, the last Queen of France, and Madame de Pompadour, the chief-mistress of King Louis XV. Although neither of them deserve the honour as the glass was in fact invented in England, a good while before either of them were born.

While they’re not quite as practical as flutes – which were developed to maintain the bubbles – we think that it feels far more luxurious to drink fizz from a cope glass.

Buy Now: £32.00

A Silk Pillowcase

If there’s anyone with a Netflix account who isn’t currently obsessing over Queer Eye’s fab five, then we’ve yet to meet them. While everyone might argue over who their favourite is, there’s one thing we can all agree on: the majesty of grooming expert Jonathan’s glorious mane.

Apparently he keeps his locks looking so smooth and shiny by sleeping on a silk pillowcase, much like this one. Additional benefits include protecting and hydrating the skin, while also preventing split ends. Best. Gift. Ever.

Buy Now: £79.00

A Simple Tee

We’ve said it for a good while now, but Japanese brand Uniqlo really has nailed the art of the basics. But while its menswear offering has always been on point, its fairer sex collections have sometimes erred on the side of frumpy.

No longer. Since Christophe Lemaire took the reins as artistic director, Uniqlo’s womenswear offering has improved exponentially and it’s now a great place for artfully simple tops, T-shirts and jumpers. Head there for a birthday present that will put on a smile on her face but won’t have you weeping into your wallet.

Buy Now: £12.90

A Sleek Watch

There are so many things to consider when buying a watch for yourself, but when shopping for someone else it’s best to set all of the technical stuff to one side. Play it safe and opt for something that’s unobtrusive; a cool, minimal timepiece that will fit in with her style, whatever that may be.

And make sure you take a look at her jewellery collection before you pull the trigger – people can be quite particular about mixing metals, so if she only wears silver then get a silver watch; if she’s a gold type of girl… you get the drift.

Buy Now: £255.00

Simple Summer Sandals

Footwear brand Ancient Greeks takes its inspiration from Greek mythology and legend, meaning its sandals are the very essence of classic – meaning they’ll be on her shoe rack for years to come.

This season, the label has collaborated with Italian designer Fabrizio Viti, who has added a hint of feminine prettiness with his daisy decorations. If you’re feeling extra generous, book her in for a pre-sandal-wearing pedicure, too.

Buy Now: £195.00

MAC Makeup

With its ever more frequent – and always interesting – collaborations, MAC will always be a great go-to option for birthday presents. Always first with fresh new colours, its impressive archive is full of classics, too. There are few women who haven’t pledged allegiance to a MAC lipstick shade.

It has recently brought out collections with designer Nicopanda, makeup artist Patrick Starrr and cartoon Betty Boop, while an Aaliyah-inspired range is also promised, proving that even death is no obstacle to a good collaboration.

Buy Now: £19.50

A Gin Serving Set

What to buy for the gin-loving lady who has it all? A serving set dedicated entirely to that clear liquid, of course.

Gin’s popularity over the last few years means that ever more ingenious ways of serving it are being found, while drinkers are becoming more particular about the sort of gins they will and will not drink. Then there’s the perfect garnish; from peppercorns and lavender to the humble cucumber, gin is served numerous ways and deserves something to do it justice. This handsome kit from Polish glassware company LSA should to the trick.

Buy Now: £300.00

A Go-To Bottle Of Perfume

We know, buying a bottle of perfume as a birthday gift doesn’t exactly constitute thinking outside of the box, but when bought correctly, there can be few presents that are quite as thoughtful.

If you know what her favourite scent is, then just buy her a top up and watch the brownie points come rolling in. If you’re not sure or she doesn’t already have one, then we recommend going with something new to impress her. And if you’re really stumped, go for a well-designed bottle that’ll look nice on the shelf – she’ll think of you every time she sees it.

Buy Now: £72.00

A Sleek Coffee Table Book

Buying a novel for someone can be fraught with difficulty. Books are so incredibly personal that unless you know the recipient incredibly well – and specifically what type of literature they’re into – it’s best to steer clear.

However, coffee table books exist more on the surface level – as long as it’s beautiful to look at and based on her interest then you should be on safe ground. This stunning tome from Italian fashion legend Anna Dello Russo is designed like a keepsake box and should make even the snarliest of fashionistas smile.

Buy Now: £97.50

SAD Light

If you’re shopping for someone who lives in the Northern Hemisphere, there really is no more thoughtful gift than a SAD lamp. Proven to help alleviate the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder in just seven days, it encourages the brain to reduce the production of melatonin – the hormone that makes you feel sleepy – while encouraging the production of feel-good hormone serotonin.

All this means is that even on the darkest, most dreary of winter days, she’ll spring cheerily up out of bed. Probably.

Buy Now: £90.00

Designer Sunglasses

When it comes to shopping for designer sunglasses, there are a couple of things to think about. First of all is face shape – if you’re unsure what hers is exactly, opt for a classic frame like cat eyes or Wayfarers, which suit most mugs.

Secondly, and rather boringly, is full UV protection. They’re not just there to accessorise her face, they have to protect her eyes too. Which is why we’re big fans of New York eyewear brand Moscot, which has been producing sleek frames since 1915.

Buy Now: £265.00