#I feel like it is one of the most common books people name when they’re asked their least favourite book. but well im curious ive never read

[crescentpaws]

kotlc pokémon au!

gonna share some info abt my kotlc pokémon au here for anyone interested :> (i’ve had this in my head for yearsss but @queefsencen has inspired me to share it here now)

(also yes i have lots of drawings but they’re all old and i hate them… so you’re just getting text for now. more drawings coming soon i promiseeee)

anyway. all under cut bc it’s longgg (talking about world building as well as the characters)

(have put more thought into this than i should have)

——————

everyone still has their abilities; most people choose their pokémon based on their ability (ex. fire types for pyrokinetics, water types for hydrokinetics, etc.) but some people choose to ignore typing (and some pick pokemon based on the certain moves they can learn or what their pokédex entries say)

also, since they can light leap all over the world, it’s much easier to find regional variants

- ever since pyrokinesis was banned, it’s illegal to own a fire-type pokémon (with some exceptions) (but they’re still allowed to roam around freely of course. they’re just less common now because no one catches them anymore)

- psionipaths almost always have pokémon that can learn shielding moves (such as protect)

- physicians always have at least one healing pokémon

- lots of kids at foxfire want or have an eevee, because eevees usually evolve according to which ability the kids manifest (jolteons, flareons, and vaporeons evolving with an ability manifestation don’t require evolution stones)

- some ancients have a mythical/legendary pokémon

- vociferators and beguilers almost always have pokémon that can learn moves that are affected by the voice

- pokémon that enter the seat of eminence usually glow with the spotlight color that best matches their typing (sophie’s espeon glows red though—which is unusual because psychic types normally glow blue—because it evolved when sophie inflicted on everyone at the end of book 1)

- when pokémon enter the mysterious place known as elysian, they gain the ability to terrastalize for some reason (wild stellar type tera pokemon can also be found there)

- goblins are machokes (queen is a machamp, younglings are machops)

- dwarves: drilbur -> excadrill

- gnomes are bellossoms

- haven’t thought of the species for ogres or trolls yet tho (if anyone has any suggestions feel free to tell me lmao)

- ^^ it’s considered very immoral to catch and train one of the intelligent species pokémon (+ they can all talk similar to how team rocket’s meowth can)

- (winged) galarian rapidash = the alicorns (occasionally fight when necessary)

- haven’t finalized the gym leaders or elite 4 yet so. i’ll get back to that later. (the nobility = the pokémon league basically. they do other stuff still of course but that’s a big part of their jobs)

——————

characters:

(don’t have set pokémon really, these are just my ideas so far. feel free to give suggestions for any of them!)

-> sophie

partner - espeon (psychic) — given to her as an eevee by alden so nobody at foxfire would suspect that she already had an ability; evolved when sophie inflicted for the “first” time at the end of book 1 (the red gem on its forehead represents the red light that shoots out of sophie’s forehead when she inflicts now)

altaria (dragon-flying) — this is the pokemon species that is supposed to represent moonlarks (given to her by mr. forkle). can mega evolve (which she learned how to do after she had her abilities reset in legacy)

phanpy (ground) — caught this pokemon because it looked like her plushie ella (she even named it after her)

raichu (alolan form) (electric-psychic) — used to be kenric’s pokemon; given to her by oralie at the same time she was given kenric’s cache at the beginning of book 4

grafaiai (poison-normal) — iggy (caught by her but rarely used in battle)

possibly could get a deoxys? since of course the black swan would have access to a mythical pokemon smh. and it’s literally the dna pokemon and it’s a psychic type and it shoots lasers out of its chest AND it can learn teleport and psychic. and it’s red.

-> fitz

partner - meowstic (psychic) — male form. good friends with sophie’s espeon

gallade (psychic-fighting)

girafarig (normal-psychic)

slowbro (water-psychic)

-> keefe

partner - thievul (dark) — mischievous fox pokémon for his fox bff in unraveled :> though i think he would have already had this pokémon (he caught it as a nickit, and it evolved when he was with the neverseen) his parents don’t like this pokémon because of all the trouble it causes, and because of the fact that empaths usually work with fairy type pokémon more often

klefki (steel-fairy) — he calls his klefki “klef-keefe” because he thinks he’s hilarious. this pokemon is where most of the credit for all the break-ins into dame alina’s office should go to

granbull (fairy)

morgrem (dark-fairy) — has the prankster ability

-> biana

partner - oricorio (ghost-flying) — had since before she manifested, since her mom is a ghost type trainer and gave her the purple nectar needed to change its form

mimikyu (ghost-fairy) — shiny (because of course biana would have a shiny pokémon. i think she probably used to shiny hunt a lot when she had more free time as a kid)

gothitelle (psychic)

tsareena (grass) — shiny

would probably also have one of those special cosplay pikachus from or/as. she’d be a fan of the heart pattern on its tail & she’d love dressing it up in cute outfits <3

-> dex

partner - goodra (dragon) — given to him as a goomy by kesler when he started helping him out at slurps & burps

togedemaru (electric-steel)

klinklang (steel)

porygon2 (normal) — created as a porygon by dex himself (made during his time in alluveterre)

rotom (electric-ghost) — takes on lots of different forms depending on the situation; helps him hack machines

-> linh

partner - vaporeon (water) — quan and mai refused to give both twins an eevee, so tam let linh have the only one they were willing to give. went with her to exillium and helped her gain control of her ability

corsola (water-rock) — linh wasn’t able to catch this pokemon until much later, since she and tam didn’t have access to pokéballs until they met the black swan

lumineon (water)

probably gets a milotic later (or maybe a dragonair)

-> tam

partner - zoroark (dark) — tam was given a single empty pokéball by quan and mai after he let linh have the eevee. when he and linh left, he was able to catch a zorua in one of the forests in the neutral territories

umbreon (dark) — used to be umber’s partner, was given to him by gisela after umber died and he was forced to join the neverseen. since escaping, he’s refused to use this pokémon in battle or even take it out of its pokéball

-> marella

partner - flareon (fire) — an eevee she had before she manifested (obviously became a flareon). lied to the council and said that the flareon evolved by accidentally touching a fire stone (but she wasn’t permitted to take it out of its pokéball again until they approved her training)

charmeleon (fire) — gifted as a charmander by forkle when the council approved her training

vulpix (fire) — fintan has a ninetails so this is an interesting parallel

pansear (fire)

-> wylie

partner - raichu (electric) — kanto form

heliolisk (electric-normal)

ampharos (electric) — cyrah’s old pokémon (was a flaaffy when she died)

boltund (electric)

-> stina

partner - sylveon (fairy) — yeah, stina was another foxfire kid who had an eevee that evolved alongside her

bruxish (water-psychic)

rapidash (galarian form) (psychic-fairy) — a normal rapidash obviously, not winged

mudsdale (ground)

-> maruca

partner - cinccino (normal) — knows protect; maruca dyed a strand of this pokémon’s hair blue to match her own

azumarill (water-fairy) — knows protect

pelipper (water-flying) — knows protect

sunflora (grass) — knows protect

-> rayni

partner - liepard (dark) — shiny (this is her “sparkly cat” she’s always talking about)

morpeko (electric/dark)

heliolisk (electric-normal) — shiny (for some reason, flashers have an easier time finding shiny pokémon than people with other abilities do. something about the perception of light or whatever)

pawmot (electric-fighting)

whismur (normal) — bc it’s silly. & rayni reminds me of zinnia from or/as a bit (she keeps it unevolved tho bc loudred is so ugly….)

-> mr forkle

(both of them have the same pokémon)

partner - reuniclus (psychic)

ditto (normal)

beheeyem (psychic)

+ sir astin has a solrock (rock-psychic) and magnate leto has a starmie (water-psychic)

-> juline (squall)

partner - ninetails (alolan form) (ice-fairy)

glaceon (ice) — yes, juline was an eevee kid too

froslass (ice-ghost)

sawsbuck (normal-grass) — winter form

-> elwin

partner - linoone (normal) — bullhorn (has the strange death-sensing abilities that bullhorn has, as well)

solosis (psychic) — shining certain light through this pokémon has the same sort of effect that elwin’s special glasses do (though he still prefers to use the glasses for convenience. but this pokémon is always a good backup) also it’s the cell pokémon so

bellibolt (electric) — silly glowy frog guy. seems pretty elwin-esque to me (also could act as some sort of defibrillator if needed)

-> livvy

masquerain (bug-flying)

comfey (fairy) — its aroma has healing qualities, which is extremely helpful with livvy’s physician work

vivillon (bug-flying) — elegant form

(not sure what her partner pokémon should be though…)

-> jolie

partner - swanna (water-flying) — when sophie enters prentice’s broken mind, he takes the form of jolie’s pokémon instead of jolie herself. this pokémon also perished in the fire

-> oralie

partner - gardevoir (psychic-fairy)

blissey (normal)

hatterene (psychic-fairy)

alcremie (fairy) — ruby swirl + love sweet form

polteageist (ghost)

-> bronte

partner - persian (normal) — i chose this pokémon partly because the red gem on its forehead would match sophie’s espeon (which it sort of mentors now), and also it’s a pokémon that like. usually doesn’t like other people. so it’s fitting. also she was bffs with fintan’s victini (they were gfs. pokemon doomed yuri). also coincidentally has a curly tail which is so funny to me

hydreigon (dark-dragon)

marshadow (fighting-ghost) — mythical pokémon

also has an alolan persian (dark type) that he uses in official pokémon battles (bc i think the elite 4 = the four most powerful councillors. and he would definitely be a dark type trainer so. i think this persian would be like the cousin of the other one or something lmao)

will add kenric later bc i can’t think of anything for him rn… (other than the raichu)

-> alina

partner - meloetta (normal) — mythical pokémon. her having this rare & powerful pokémon (it was passed down through her family over generations) was one of the main reasons she was elected to the council

primarina (water-fairy) — “its singing voice is its chief weapon in battle” (pokédex entry)

milotic (water)

wigglytuff (normal-fairy) — used to be a jigglypuff that would lull people to sleep with its singing

-> alden

partner - slowking (water-psychic) — related to fitz’s slowbro

alakazam (psychic)

unown (psychic) haven’t thought of which specific form though… probably a v for vacker or something. helps him with deciphering ancient runes & stuff

-> della

partner - froslass (ice-ghost)

sneasel (hisuian form) (fighting-poison)

chandelure (ghost-fire) — caught after she joined the black swan because she’s already joining an illegal rebellion, why not have an illegal fire type pokémon as well? also i think it’s funny having a vacker have a chandelier pokémon.

sinistcha (grass-ghost)

jellicent (water-ghost) — female form

-> grady

(despite being a mesmer, he doesn’t enjoy using psychic types that much)

hypno (psychic) — he doesn’t like using it in battle often, but it helps him calm down rowdy animals in the pastures at havenfield

tyrantrum (rock-dragon) — verdi! she’s shiny, but for some reason appears more green than blue. a pokémon that doesn’t obey very often

raticate (alolan form) (dark-normal) — the verminion

(winged) gouging fire (fire-dragon) — the gorgodon; created by the neverseen. grady was the one to officially catch this pokémon, but it rarely listens to him so he almost never uses it in battle (plus it’s a fire type so it’s heavily monitored. he’s only allowed to have it because he’s the one attempting to rehabilitate it)

-> edaline

partner - meganium (grass) — flower dinosaur pokémon! which i think is fitting

kangaskhan (normal) — “parent pokémon”

aurorus (rock-ice) — raised from an amaura with the help of her sister (who is an expert in ice types)

leafeon (grass)

lilligant (hisuian form) (grass-fighting) — this is the pokémon that fights for her the most often

-> kesler

muk (alolan form) (poison-dark) — helps out at slurps & burps (‘helps’ in the loosest sense…)

ditto (normal) — uses elixirs to change its color often, so sometimes people will think it’s a shiny. don’t be fooled! it is not!!! kesler is just being silly

weezing (poison)

-> rex

partner - stufful (normal-fighting)

tangela (grass)

teddiursa (normal) — was caught around the same time as his siblings manifested, since he was jealous that they were catching new pokémon and he wasn’t

-> bex

partner - skitty (normal)

-> lex

vanillite (ice) — a fairly new pokemon, was caught (with help from his mom) after he manifested as a froster

-> fintan

partner - victini (psychic-fire) — mythical pokémon, played a part in the everblaze incident and the pyrokinesis ban. however, fintan refused to keep it in its pokéball after fire types were banned, since he thought it was unfair to punish a pokémon for something that was mostly his own fault. though victini was still severely traumatized by the death of its fellow fire-type pokémon friends

ninetails (fire) — shiny

delphox (fire-psychic)

centiskorch (fire-bug) — can gigantamax. also shiny. i think as a councillor he would have been very fond of shiny pokémon.

-> vespera

partner - diancie (rock-fairy) — mythical pokémon; transformed from a carbink (with the help of her scientific meddling)

hatterene (psychic-fairy) — way more aggressive than oralie’s (to show the difference in their empath abilities)

serperior (grass) — old partner, caught snivy as a starter pokémon when she was a kid (before she manifested)

dracovish (water-dragon) — shiny; mismatched fossil pokémon that was the result of an experiment

cursola (ghost)

all of these pokémon were confiscated when she was arrested, but she was able to get them back when lumenaria fell

-> gisela

partner - weavile (dark-ice)

froslass (ice-ghost) (i am not immune to giving pretty women this pokemon)

glimmora (rock-poison) — “glimmora's petals are made of crystallized poison energy” (pokédex entry); caught while she was collecting those special explosive crystals from elysian (was revealed to the main squad during their battle there)

-> brant

partner - typhlosion (fire) — given to him as a cyndaquil by fintan when he started training him; kept secret from the council until he was outed as a neverseen member. when brant and jolie got into their fight, he challenged her to a pokémon battle, and this was the pokémon that sparked the flames that killed her

turtonator (fire-dragon)

marowak (alolan form) (fire-ghost) — its ultra moon pokédex entry is “when it beats opponents with its bone, the cursed flames spread to them. no amount of water will stop those flames from burning.” which sounds very everblaze-y to me

-> alvar

partner - sableye (dark-ghost)

trevenant (ghost-grass)

runerigus (ground-ghost) — kept secret from his family until he was discovered to be a neverseen member

-> gethen

slowking (galarian form) (poison-psychic) — knows amnesia and confusion; helps wash memories

golduck (water)

aegislash (steel-ghost) — stole from lumenaria (the sword)

-> umber

partner - umbreon (dark) — this pokémon is what she decided to name herself after. was later given to tam by gisela after umber died

zoroark (hisuian form) (normal-ghost) — another parallel to tam

absol (dark)

[steelycunt]

is catcher in the rye as annoying as people say it is. and if so is it annoying in like a fun way or a boring way. and essentially should i read it

[writingwithfolklore]

Punctuation Rules

Punctuation is like the very last thing I actively think about when writing something (what's the point of fixing the punctuation of a sentence you'll end up taking out or editing anyway?) but it is still an important step!

Having proper punctuation increases your credibility and the overall quality of your work. Also, it’s doubly important in professional work, emails, and resumes. With that, let’s get into it!

Commas

We use them all the time. We get them wrong all the time. There are six rules for where you can use commas:

Use to separate items in a list or series:

The book was long, tedious, and painful.

The comma after tedious is called the Oxford’s comma. Feel free to debate if you need it in the reblogs, but you won’t get in trouble professionally if you use it or leave it out (in most cases.) It always comes before ‘and’ in a list to prevent confusion of the items:

I ran into my mother, my best friend and a scientist. (1 person?)

Is very different from

I ran into my mother, my best friend, and a scientist. (3 people)

2. Use to separate independent clauses, with a coordinating conjunction.

An independent clause is just a sentence that makes sense on its own.

A coordinating conjunction is: and, but, or so.

Miley had a ton of work to do, so she set her alarm early.

3. Use after an introductory statement.

Introductory statements begin with many different words, but typically: Before, after, when, while, as soon as, etc.

Before her first class, Stacy looked up her prof on Rate Your Teacher.

Main point about this, “Before her first class” is not an independent clause, it needs a second part.

4. Use to surround info in a sentence

This info is not essential to the sense-making of the sentence, but it should be relevant.

Parents, no matter how skilled, cannot function at 100% all the time.

5. Addresses and Dates

6. And with direct quotes

Important for essay writing.

Casey said, “I hate this house!”

Colons:

Introduce a list after a complete sentence:

I have three favourite foods: spaghetti, chowder, and garlic bread.

2. Use after ‘the following’ or ‘as follows’

Please provide the following information: your date of birth, full name, and address.

3. Don't use with sentence fragments

A sentence fragment is an unfinished sentence (that doesn’t make sense on its own).

My favourite foods are: spaghetti, chowder, and garlic bread.

This is wrong because, “My favourite foods are.” Isn’t an independent clause.

4. Introduce an explanation

My parents ask one thing of me: that I try my hardest.

5. Introduce a quotation

Mom always quoted the bible: “The truth will set you free.”

6. And times (12:00)

Semi-Colon:

Not super common, but makes you look good if you can use it properly.

Separate two related independent clauses

I never drink Starbucks; it tastes burnt.

2. Similar, but with conjunctions: however, moreover, therefore, nevertheless, etc.

I don’t like Starbucks; however, it does the job.

Agatha didn’t witness anything; nevertheless, she was called in to court.

3. Use to avoid misreading in a series

The invited guests are the club leader; the treasurer; the new member, Jason Tanner; and Wanda Johnson, the investor.

Semicolons clarify the separation between the four people. Had it been, “The club leader, the treasurer, The new member, Jason Tanner…” it would seem that the new member and Jason Tanner are two different people.

Apostrophes – Possessive

‘s shows possession of a singular noun

The girl’s parents were quite rich.

2. S’ shows possession of a plural noun

The students’ books were all over the place. (there are multiple students who have books)

3. ‘s to singular words ending in s, and nouns that are plural

My boss’s office My children’s toys

Apostrophes – Contractions

Use to combine two words (they are, he is, there is, etc.)

It is -> It’s a beautiful park They are -> They’re really good friends You are -> you’re good at this and so on.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7

edit: there is much better analysis in this follow-up post, although it does build on the stuff i wrote here

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

There were very few problems, the public killings having been good for the soldiers’ morale.

so where are the people like me in this world who would like pass out witnessing that. just too desensitized to care?

The Veretian herald was named Hendric and he had very strong arms, because banners were heavy.

Damen and Laurent were to ride alongside one another. Neither one of them had the better horse.

THEIR HORSES!! BACK TOGETHER DESPITE ALL ODDS!! because they’re definitely the same ones that fell in love during prince's gambit shut up

Damen was taller, but nothing could be done about that, Hendric had said with an impenetrable expression. Hendric, Damen was learning, had something in common with Laurent, in that it was never a simple matter to tell when he was joking.

give laurent a comedically large hammer and he’ll find a way

‘I hope the injured boy was returned to you safely.’ ‘Thank you, he returned with Paschal,’ said Laurent. For a salve? Damen opened his mouth to say, and didn’t.

throwback <3 but kings can’t have inside jokes :(

In the next moment, the horns rang out, triumphant and lonely at the same time, the pure sound absorbed by the sky and the wide open landscape around them.

“triumphant and lonely” nice detail

He remembered exactly how it had looked, and that was why he didn’t recognise it at first: the forest of broken spears was gone, and there were no gouged ruts in the earth, no men face down in the churned mud. Marlas was now a tumble of grass and wildflowers in the blowy, sweet summer weather, shifting back and forth in the gentle air. Here and there an insect droned, a drowsy sound. A dragonfly dipped and darted.

i like this :) we don’t get a lot of love for nature in this series, so i’ll take what i get. especially nice when nature represents healing and the passage of time.

Lining the hall were two dozen slaves.

oh this is going to be a headache. but it’s a headache worth having, because i’ve approached these annotations so far with integrity and fairness, and i refuse to treat this subject any differently. i don’t want to just ignore the things that are more difficult or less fun to unpack in order to get to the fun shipping stuff, i want to analyze them to the best of my ability and feel as comfortable as i possibly can moving forward.

so let’s set up some context:

1) damen has come a long way from his stance on slavery in book 1. he is actively refusing to partake in this expected custom, and finds the institution disturbing and triggering. he has developed a new appreciation for sex with truly consenting (not trained) partners, aka laurent, and can’t really go back. still, his reasons for refraining here are almost entirely based on his evolving sense of morality, not really relating to his relationship with laurent at all. for more on that moral evolution, see my analysis in chapter 4. further proof of this Really Mattering to damen is the fact that by not taking slaves, he is losing points with his own people. another great hint of his development as a king, making his own authoritative decisions rather than upholding tradition.

2) laurent does not like slavery. he does not think it is morally correct, and has made many jabs at damen throughout the series for disagreeing. he is disturbed by idea of people who have been groomed into relinquishing their own free will. if put in the situation of damen in book 1, laurent would not have been nearly as compliant or allowing—honestly, he probably would have tried to kill his master, and failing that, kill himself.

HOWEVER. vere does not do slavery. slavery had never been a relevant issue to laurent, at least until he was gifted a slave of his own and was made to deal with them in negotiations with patras. slavery is a thing other countries do, to laurent, and his current objective is make nice with a country that keeps slaves. therefore, he knows that his only real option is to keep the appearance of partaking in the custom, even if damen can get away with refusal. and i think we can safely assume that in laurent’s vere, there will be no slavery, even if he’s taking up the appearance of a slave owner now. additionally, i think we can also assume that there will be reform of the country’s pet system, which is an issue much more relevant to laurent’s lived experience.

if the stuff with laurent and slaves here was simply performative and un-indulgent, i wouldn’t need to be writing anything more here. but it is, as it is, one of the few things in the series that makes me feel very conflicted (see also: the garden scene in book 1). because while it’s true that laurent doesn’t actually use isander as a sex slave, and does have this kind of passive disdain for slavery, he does use isander in another way. he uses isander, a non-consenting brainwashed slave, as a way to make damen, who has never actually been a slave, jealous. this is an abuse of power that directly conflicts with laurent’s stated and assumed values regarding free will and individual personhood. we’ve seen things like this before, in arles, but laurent had known that damen was a prince and not a slave the entire time. but isander is a victim of this system—even if isander himself doesn’t know that, laurent damn well does. and laurent historically is someone who advocates for victims. so the fact that his morals here are being set aside in favor of a petty gesture against damen, is… disappointing. everything i said in chapter 3/4 about laurent’s mean girl era still stands: he knows he’s being shitty, and he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and insecure. better to be a villain than a victim, etc. but laurent being a villain to damen, who laurent knows is perfectly capable of defending himself, is distinctly different from laurent parading out isander the slave just to hurt damen’s feelings.

it’s wrong for the obvious moral reasons, which laurent perfectly understands in the abstract. but it’s not a hill he’s going to die on here, and that’s not just because of the political advantage. this is 100% about personal shit with damen too. and sorry laurent, but slavery does not stop being wrong when it’s useful in creating drama with your ex. in fact, indulging in it for that reason specifically trivializes all of the legitimate problems with the practice. it makes laurent a hypocrite and it crosses a line, in terms of his mean girl schtick. i just want to make that clear—that there is very much a difference between laurent just being kinda cunty to damen in general, and specifically using a slave as tool in that cuntiness.

laurent is, and always has been, a morally complex and often hypocritical character. he has done things that have made me feel uncomfortable to read, like the way he treats damen in the garden scene. and that’s okay, and it doesn’t make him a bad character, or even a bad person. and to be fair, he isn’t doing any practical harm here—if he hadn’t chosen isander to kinda just vaguely flirt with in public and then leave alone in private, someone else probably would have done far worse. and that is an easy cop-out, and it’s not wrong. but still.

the problem isn’t with laurent's actions here, necessarily, but the principle. which is usually what laurent himself cares about the most, as he often values the ends above the means. politics aside, i think that laurent would readily admit post-mean girl era that the ends of making damen jealous did not, and should not, justify the means of using another human being who does not possess free will. maybe he even does that in the text, eventually, and i’ve forgotten.

(also, let’s not forget that isander may have been trained to not have his own feelings, but definitely still has them, because he’s a human being. and it probably makes him feel pretty bad to be chosen and then ignored by laurent. not that it should, because the entire thing is super fucked up, but it’s what he’s been groomed to believe. like, i did just want to throw that in somewhere, even though it’s obviously predicated on brainwashing and a lack of free will. it’s still what he’s feeling, and his feelings matter. just as much as damen’s or laurent’s.)

basically: laurent is failing to be honorable in his usage of isander, even if he’s not using isander as a sex slave as intended. his abstract values about the wrongness of slavery take a back seat to the political and interpersonal advantage of not only passively partaking in the custom, but actively using it to make damen jealous. even if laurent needs to pretend to take a slave to be politically accepted, he does not need to do All That. and honestly, with laurent’s ability to convince and command a crowd, i think we all know deep down that if he didn’t at least want to do this at least a little bit, just to piss damen off, he would find a way out of it. and that is a reality of laurent’s characterization here that i have to deal with, similar to his actions in the garden scene.

and then there’s the other thing that laurent's "performance" with isander has in common with the garden scene:

it’s hot. it’s wrong, and hypocritical, and could have been done in a way that would better suit my personal tastes, but yes, it’s hot. and on top of that, it’s also VERY funny. laurent’s performance, damen’s reactions, and isander’s obliviousness are all very, very funny. and i do want to be able to enjoy them for the petty gestures they are, and joke about them, without constantly having to throw in a “but also this is bad.” so doing this initial disclaimer feels like a happy medium to me, where i’m not ignoring the complexity of the situation entirely, but i’m also conceding that it’s not necessarily meant to be taken seriously, and it’s ultimately written for the reader to enjoy. like, don’t get me wrong, most of the slavery stuff in this series has NOT been written for the reader’s enjoyment—the values here are very clear, especially in damen’s arc—but there are still some indulgent moments. and it is fiction. and these characters aren’t perfect, nor did they create the culture of the kingdoms that they’re about to rule. and they do ultimately change the things that they, and we the reader, know are wrong.

but just like with the garden scene, i can’t quite get myself to write “so it’s totally fine to just have fun with the whole slavery thing” as a conclusion. and honestly, i feel pretty okay about that hesitancy. when i make jokes about this subject in this specific context (laurent and isander), i don’t want it to be forgotten that the subject itself (slavery) is still entirely serious. so instead, i’ll say:

this is fun because manipulative petty lamen mind games are fun. this is hot because manipulative petty lamen mind games are hot. this is somewhat intended as a backhanded insult and display of moral superiority—laurent showing damen how awful he and his culture appear to non-slave owners—but that moral superiority ultimately falls short due to laurent’s hypocritical use of a slave to make damen jealous. all of those separate pieces of analysis are true to the overall experience of reading and interpreting these scenes. it’s a mixed bag, we know it’s a mixed bag, laurent knows it’s a mixed bag, and damen knows it’s a mixed bag. the only relevant person who doesn’t know it’s a mixed bag is isander, because he’s a slave and isn’t allowed to think for himself, and that fucking sucks.

Isander was olive-skinned and lithe as a fawn, with dark hair and eyes: Akielon colouring. He shared that with Nikandros; with Damen.

yeah i’m sure that’s just a coincidence

Male, either in deference to Veretian customs, or to suit Laurent’s assumed preferences.

akielon slave owners, trying to assess laurent’s preferences:

(can you tell my heart still isn’t fully in the humor here…)

Nikandros would never offer royalty anything less than a slave’s First Night.

god, the first night thing is fucked up. in general, i love the lack of like… uh… traditionally conservative (read: christian) attitudes about sex in capri, so the few similarities especially give me the ick. i haven’t read or annotated the erasmus short story yet, but i know it’s going to piss me off too. basically, the closer we get to the handmaid’s tale, the more i want to read complicit characters dying horrifically on the page. nikandros and the other akielons are skirting by for now with the plausible deniability they have re: fully understanding how slaves are trained, but they’re on thin fucking ice.

also, lighter side question, what’s the recommended reading order for the short stories?

sweet grace of a palace slave

gag

‘I like that one,’ said Laurent.

>:(

‘Slaves are trained in the arts of pleasure, but they do not lie with another until their First Night,’ Kolnas said. ‘Here we use the same strict, classical training that is used in the royal palace. Skills are learned through instruction, and practised with indirect methods. The slave remains wholly untouched, kept pure for the first use of the Exalted.’

imagine if real-life cultural customs were built around grooming a certain group of people to be sexually submissive and modest as a thinly-veiled way to control their sexuality and ensure that they are attached to dominant societal figures from a young age without the education or free will to consider themselves actual human beings, so they can unquestioningly spend their entire lives as sex machines and domestic servants defined entirely by their responsibility to the family, and then they die and their headstone identifies them by their status as a possession of their dominant partner. wouldn’t that be fucked up

‘I never did learn how to command a bed slave,’ said Laurent. ‘Teach me.’

guys i wish i could find this hot or funny but now i’m just mad about disturbing stuff in real life that i can’t analyze out of existence. i’m taking a break and eating a chocolate strawberry greek yogurt popsicle and then i’ll try to refocus on the funny toxic gay people

‘They cannot speak Veretian, Your Highness,’ Kolnas explained. ‘In the Akielon language, using the plain form of address is appropriate. To command any act of service is to honour a slave. The more personal the service, the greater the honour.’ ‘Really? Come here,’ said Laurent.

laurent go sit in the corner.

Laurent extended the tip of his boot. ‘Kiss it,’ he said. His eyes were on Damen.

god this is so good. i hate it so much.

to be fair, there is no way to do this that would be more effective than laurent using a slave. because, y’know, damen was his “slave.” it wouldn’t hit the same with some random non-slave guy. laurent wants to fuck with damen’s head, and part of that is making him miss something he most certainly should not be missing. laurent is also fucking with my head, because this gesture is so conflictingly wrong and compelling, a word which in this case means "something i’m embarrassed/ashamed to say that i find hot."

‘Good boy,’ said Laurent, reaching down to pet Isander’s dark curls, while Isander’s eyes closed and he flushed over.

(easy joke to make, but we’re all probably thinking it) damen:

(also, this being the only “good boy” in the entire series is just diabolical. but i get why it is, because i think it might not be the only one—and if it isn’t the only one, that means the regent says it at some point, and that’s exactly why it’s never used in a lamen sex scene.)

Kolnas preened, pleased that his selection was appreciated. Damen could see that the fort’s household around them was also pleased, having gone to great lengths to make Laurent feel welcome. They had considered with intense thoughtfulness Veretian culture and Veretian practices.

i sense some slight snarkiness here—not even from damen, but from the narrative itself. there’s palpable irony in the “great lengths” and “thoughtfulness” of akielions considering veretian culture while presenting laurent with slaves, all while veretian culture doesn’t have slavery.

It was pointless. There were two dozen slaves here, while the number of times Laurent had had sex in his life could probably be counted on one hand. Laurent was just going to be dragging twenty-four young men back to his rooms to sit around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even be able to unlace Veretian clothing.

according to damen:

this is stupid.

laurent is, in all ways but physical, a loser virgin.

he’s going to set out board games for those sex slaves. he’s going to throw them a pizza party. he’s going to answer emails the entire time.

they don’t even know how to unlace laurent’s clothing like i do.

this is stupid.

‘Can he also serve me in the baths?’ said Laurent.

CUNT.

‘And at the feast for the bannermen this evening when they give their pledge, if that pleases you, Your Highness,’ said Kolnas. ‘It pleases me,’ said Laurent.

damen is about to throw up on the floor

Cloth wound around his waist and over his shoulder, the sort of ceremonial Akielon garb that you could unreel from a person by taking hold of one end and pulling while they rotated.

looney toons-ass imagery

He could feel their discomfort, their need to debase themselves; this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves.

thank you damen for being the only normal person here. you've come a long way.

“discomfort, their need to debase themselves” is something book 1 damen would have found adorable and charming. he definitely wouldn’t have worded it like this, back then.

“this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves” building on the damen vs. kingship theme, he thinks he can’t have real love or intimacy or vulnerability if he’s a king. he can’t truly be paired with an equal, because he needs to be exalted.

He had sent away the slaves.

damen you’re the only one i’m not at mad at in this chapter. actually i liked the funny banner guy, we’re chill too. and isander is just trying his best

Laurent, he knew, was rooming in the adjoining suite, separated from him by a single wall. Damen was in the King’s chambers, which any lord who built a fort installed, in the hope the King would stop there. But even the former lord of Marlas’s optimism had not stretched to the idea that the heads of two royal families would visit simultaneously. To preserve their arrangements of scrupulous equality, Laurent was in the Queen’s chambers, beyond that wall.

i’m getting so much whiplash from this chapter like yeah this is funny and cute but also is the slavery stuff just normal to people like i’m aware the series started from a specific subculture and kink and body of literary work, so i guess i’m the weird one and the outsider here for being so distracted??

Isander was probably tending him, gamely doing his best with the laces. He would have to unhook the lacings on the back of the neck of Laurent’s riding leathers before drawing them through their eyelets. Or Laurent had taken Isander into the baths, to be undressed by him there. Isander would be flushed with pride at being chosen for the task. Attend me. Damen felt his hands curl into fists.

i don’t think i need to point out in a note, every single time, that damen being jealous of isander is funny and his possessiveness of laurent is hot. but i will still highlight the passages where it happens.

He turned his mind to political matters.

good call buddy, you and i are going to get through this chapter together

Men and women reclined on couches

(said apprehensively, given the overall themes of this chapter) ...women?

Makedon leaned, selecting a slice of peeled orange. Pallas, the handsome officer-champion, reclined with the easy posture that spoke to his aristocratic blood. Straton had hitched his skirts up and drawn his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles. Everyone whom rank or office entitled to be here was assembled, and with every northerner of standing gathered to give their pledge, the hall was packed full. The Veretians present were mostly vertical, standing awkwardly in small groups, one or two perched gingerly on the edge of a seat.

There was no trumpet flourish or herald’s announcement, as there would have been in Vere.

okay i didn’t realize there was a trumpet flourish in vere. that is very funny in retrospect. a trumpet is not the instrument i’d choose to announce laurent’s arrival. in arles especially, i personally think that a halloween sfx cd would have been much more appropriate

Laurent didn’t rise. He wasn’t required to. He just watched from his reclining couch, as the hall prostrated itself. He had cultivated an elegant sprawl, with his arm draped over his couch back, and his leg drawn up, revealing the arc of an exquisitely clad thigh. His fingers dangled. Silk rucked around his knee.

laurent lean #14. kings leaning.

Isander was prostrated, an inch from Laurent’s casually draped fingertips, his lithe body bare. He wore a brief garment like a Vaskian man’s cloth. His collar fit him like a second skin. Laurent sat relaxed, every line of his body arranged tastefully against the couch. Damen made himself stroll forward through the silence. Their twin couches were next to each other. ‘Brother,’ Laurent said, pleasantly.

no comment

The eyes of everyone in the hall were on him. He felt their gazes, their underfed curiosity. He heard the murmurs—it really is him, Damianos, alive and here—accompanied by the brazen looks, looking at him, looking at the gold cuff on his wrist, looking at Laurent in his Veretian clothes like an exotic ornament—so that is the Veretian Prince. And beneath that the speculation that was never spoken aloud.

at least one akielon politics rpf truther is losing their mind rn. we have gaylor, this world has gaymianos

Laurent was scrupulously correct in the face of it, his behaviour immaculate, even his use of the slave was an act of unimpeachable etiquette. In Akielos it pleased the host for a guest to make use of his hospitality. And it pleased the Akielon people for their royal family to take slaves, a sign of virility and power, and a cause of great pride.

narrows my eyes

Barieus stepped forward. ‘I want assurances that Vere does not hold undue influence over Akielos.’ Undue influence. ‘Speak plainly.’ ‘They say the Prince of Vere is your lover.’

found the gaymianos truther

‘Who we take to our bed is not your concern.’

well i mean if you’re using the royal “we” to represent the kingdom, then yeah… it kinda is?

‘Shall I tell them what really happened between us? They want to know,’ Laurent said. Laurent began to unlace the cuff of his sleeve, drawing the ties through the eyelets, then opening the fabric to expose the fine underside of his wrist—and then the unmistakable gold of the slave cuff.

Laurent leaned his wrist elegantly on the curved arm of the couch, the open sleeve reminiscent of a delicate open shirt collar, its laces trailing. ‘Do I have the question clear?’ said Laurent, speaking in Akielon. ‘You are asking if I lay with the man who killed my own brother?’ Laurent wore the slave cuff with utter disregard. He had no owner, the aristocratic arrogance of his posture said that. Laurent had always possessed an essential quality of the untouchable. He cultivated a faultless grace on the reclining couch, his chiselled profile and marble-chip eyes those of a statue. The idea that he would let anyone fuck him was impossible.

and damen is so into it. love love love the contrast with the description of slaves in this chapter. damen doesn’t want them, he wants laurent. he sees laurent as a complete and compelling person. there is honor in laurent’s performative submission—wearing the cuff—because damen respects laurent’s personhood. but he’s no longer able to see the submission of slaves as honorable, because he knows they’re fucking slaves who have been robbed of their personhood entirely.

Barieus said, ‘A man would have to be ice-cold to sleep with his brother’s killer.’ ‘Then you have your answer,’ said Laurent. There was a silence, in which Laurent’s gaze held that of Barieus. ‘Yes, Exalted.’ Barieus bowed his head, and unconsciously used the Akielon Exalted, rather than the Veretian titles Highness or Majesty.

a vine boom echoed through the court

‘Well, Barieus?’ said Damen. Barieus knelt two steps before the dais. ‘I will pledge. I see that the Prince of Vere stands with you. It’s right that we swear to you here, on the site of your greatest victory.’

“he is simply too cunty for us to deny his authority.”

Slaves brought the food. Squires served Damen, since he had made his preferences clear. It was an awkward arrangement that displeased everyone in the hall.

YES DAMEN!

Isander was utterly in love with his master. He strove continuously to do well, selecting each delicacy for Laurent to sample, bringing him only the best, in small, shallow dishes, refreshing the water bowl for Laurent to clean his fingers. He did it all with perfect form, discreetly attentive, and never drawing attention to himself. His eyelashes drew attention to themselves. Damen made himself look elsewhere.

but that’s not real love, and damen knows it. laurent knows it too. and damen did it way better in nesson-elroy

Laurent said, ‘Play The Fall of Inachtos,’ and a murmur of approval passed over the hall. Kolnas, the Keeper of Slaves, congratulated Laurent on his knowledge of Akielon epics. ‘It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it?’ said Laurent, transferring his gaze to Damen.

diabolical. need this energy for the lamen divorce playlists (they each have their own)

He had always liked the depiction of Akielons cutting down their enemies, as Nisos rode out to kill Inachtos, and take his walled city. He didn’t want to hear it now.

yayyy character development

It was Loyse and not Guion that Jord was approaching. She gave him a cursory look. ‘Yes?’ There was an awkward pause. ‘I just wanted to say . . . that I’m sorry for your loss. Your son was a good fighter.’ ‘Thank you, soldier.’ She gave him the token attention a lady might give to any servant, and turned back to her conversation with her husband.

loyse hiiiiiii loyse (said with appropriate sadness for her current state of grief)

Jord gazed at him for a long moment, then indicated Laurent with his chin. ‘I’m glad you two are friends,’ said Jord.

jord always knows exactly when to show up and make ill-timed commentary on damen and laurent's relationship

‘I thought when he found out about you, he’d swear revenge,’ said Jord. ‘He knew all along,’ said Damen. ‘It’s good that you could trust each other,’ said Jord. And then: ‘I think before you came, he didn’t really trust anyone.’ Damen said, ‘He didn’t.’

also isn’t it like SUPER awkward for jord to be around guion and loyse right now

Isander was bringing Laurent a sprig of grapes in a small dish. Laurent said something approving, and gestured for Isander to join him on the reclining couch. Isander glowed, shyly besotted. As Damen watched, Isander picked a single grape from the sprig, and lifted it to Laurent’s lips. Laurent leaned in. He twined a finger around a curl of Isander’s hair and allowed himself to be fed, grape by grape, a prince with a new favourite.

damen is about to start scratching the walls like a cat confronted with a closed door

He lifted the wine blindly. The cup was empty. Straton wasn’t the only Akielon departing with a slave; men and women throughout the hall were availing themselves. The wine, and the slaves enacting the battle were breaking down inhibitions. Akielon voices grew loud, emboldened by wine.

between the heavy drinking and sex practices, the akielon court actually sounds like my living hell. and we haven’t even gotten to the naked sports chapter yet

Laurent leaned in further to murmur something intimately into Isander’s ear, and then, as the recitation reached its climax, the clash of swords like the hammering in his chest, Damen saw Laurent tap Isander’s shoulder, and rise. I’d wager you never thought a prince could be jealous of a slave. At this moment I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Torveld’s words. He said, ‘Excuse me.’

The entire court around him rose as he pushed up from his couch-throne.

“couch-throne”

Trying to follow Laurent out, he got tangled in ceremony, the hall a stifling press of bodies and noise, and, as a blond head disappeared towards the doorway, he was stopped by party after party blocking his path.

okay i’m so curious what he’s meaning to do when he catches up to laurent. yell at him? yell at isander? throw up?

He ought to have brought a slave of his own, then the crowd would have melted away, understanding: the King wished privacy.

i am begging the protagonists of this book to stop using human people as objects. again maybe that’s just a me problem, this isn’t my usual genre and the akielon slavery system clearly doesn’t align with my kink sensibilities, but COME ON

The corridor was empty when he strode out into it. His heart was pounding. He turned the first corner into a section of the passage, half expecting to catch Laurent’s retreating figure. Instead, he saw a stark, empty arch with all its Veretian lattice stripped away. Under the arch was Isander, standing with his fawn eyes, looking confused and abandoned. His confusion was such that for a moment he just stared at Damen with wide eyes before he seemed to understand what was happening, and folded to the floor, forehead to the stone. Damen said, ‘Where is he?’ Isander was well trained, even if nothing was happening as he had expected tonight; and even if, rather mortifyingly, he was being asked to report this fact to his King. ‘His Highness of Vere has gone for a ride.’

well at least if “going on a ride” is laurent code for “feeling morally and emotionally troubled,” that’s… less disappointing, i guess.

also, i do realize that this is the place where laurent’s brother was killed, currently taken over by the nation that orchestrated and benefitted from his death. so there’s probably a twisted vindication in learning exactly how fucked up their culture is (asking about the first night, etc), and getting whatever kind of enjoyment out of the whole situation he can (pissing off damen). but there still had to be a crash, and as soon as laurent was excused from his duties he dipped to deal with it alone.

‘At the stables a handler might know his destination. This slave can inquire.’

i caaaaaan’t stand the way they’re denied use of personal pronouns

Closer; the approach was difficult because it was sharp with memory. Here was the place where their left flank had fallen. Here was the place where he had ordered men to attack the lines that would not fall, the starburst banner that did not falter. Here was the place where he had killed the last of the Prince’s Guard, and come face to face with Auguste. He dismounted from his horse, looping its reins over the cracked stone column of an overgrown pillar. The landscape was old, and the pieces of stone were old; and he remembered this place, remembered the torn soil and the desperation of the fight. Clearing a last jut of stone, he saw the curve of a shoulder in the moonlight, the white of a loose shirt, his outer garments stripped, all wrists and exposed throat. Laurent was sitting on a stone outcrop. His jacket was discarded uncharacteristically. He was sitting on it.

this is a beautifully set scene.

A stone slid under his heel. Laurent turned. For a moment, Laurent looked at him wide-eyed, young, and then the look in his eyes changed, as though the universe had fulfilled an ineluctable promise. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘perfect.’

a moment of surprise and vulnerability, and then practiced cool again. onto Some More Bullshit, i guess

this isn’t the chapter to really tackle this, but i will eventually write a long essay about how laurent goes through his own mini character growth arc, completely off the page, during the lamen divorce era. it’s just that damen has custody of the reader, so we don’t get to see it—only hints, like this moment here. laurent must have had a lot on his mind, too, ever since their last heated conversation. i have some ideas about what that “a lot” might be, but again, i don’t think i’ve gotten quite enough from laurent yet to really start forming a conclusion.

Damen said, ‘I thought you might want—’ ‘Want?’ ‘A friend,’ said Damen. He used Jord’s word. His chest felt tight. ‘If you’d prefer me to leave, I will.’ ‘Why cavil?’ said Laurent. ‘Let’s fuck.’

ON YOUR BROTHER’S FIGURATIVE GRAVE WITH HIS MURDERER????

‘That isn’t what I meant.’ ‘It might not be what you meant, but it’s what you want.’ Laurent said, ‘You want to fuck me.’ Anyone else would have been drunk. Laurent was dangerously sober.

yeah, no, he’s definitely being going through Some Shit on his own. lots of self-loathing, especially due to the fact that he can’t hate damen as much as he knows he should. yearning, more self-loathing because of that yearning. companionship withdrawals, a return to isolation. a revived sense of grief for his brother, and nicaise, and damen (not damianos) and even his relationship with his uncle, who he hadn’t thought would be capable of trying to kill him. hating himself and blaming himself and regretting things he’s done to push people away. just an all-around bad time, but a necessary time of reflection that he needs to experience on his own. damen can’t just swoop in and fix laurent, laurent has to decide that he’s worth saving first. he’s not there yet, clearly, assuming that damen only wants him as a sexual object. whiiiiich was probably why he went so hard on the eroticism with isander easlier, it was an easy victory to get damen hot and bothered. a game he could win, among the many other games he knows he’s losing—especially the ones against himself.

i’ll put together something more coherent before the divorce era ends. tbh, i kinda think this scene should have been a separate chapter, because there is some pretty massive whiplash here. although maybe not, maybe the buildup of emotional and sexual tension was the point. yeah, it was. the slavery stuff just made it more frustrating to read. never mind.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ He knew this mood. He should have expected it. He made himself say the words. ‘I came because I thought you might want to talk.’ ‘Not particularly.’

it almost sounds like laurent played himself, for the millionth time, by getting himself worked up with isander when he just really wanted damen

He said, ‘About your brother.’ ‘I never fucked my brother,’ said Laurent, with a strange edge to the words. ‘That is incest.’ They were standing in the place where his brother had died. With a disorientating sensation Damen realised they weren’t going to talk about that. They were going to talk about this.

"yes, honey..."

‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’ ‘Why?’ said Laurent. ‘Was I that good?’ ‘No. You fucked like a virgin,’ said Damen,

deserved

‘half the time. The rest of the time—’ ‘Like I knew what to do?’ ‘Like you knew what you were used to.’ He saw the words impact. Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow. Laurent said, ‘I’m not certain I can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment.’

oh well this is particularly horrifying with [redacted] context. also i think the quote “i’m not certain i can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment” says A LOT about how laurent has always viewed damen, for better or for worse. laurent can count on damen to tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. so it makes sense that he’s been avoiding damen lately, because laurent is going through his own crisis of personal reflection

Damen said, ‘I don’t prefer sophistication in bed, if you were wondering.’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. ‘You like it simple.’ All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.

is “that” just laurent making fun of the way damen is earnest in bed? seems like an overreaction from damen if that's the case, so it’s probably something else i’m missing. maybe laurent is accusing damen of keeping the secret of his identity, even when they fucked, to make things simpler between them? that would support my previous theory that laurent is convinced that damen wouldn’t want him how he really is, as damen really is, with all the complications between them. or it’s a dig about auguste somehow, and i just can’t figure out how it connects.

‘He died well,’ Damen made himself say. ‘He fought better than any man I’ve known. It was a fair fight, and he felt no pain. The end was quick.’

like i said—what laurent needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. even if damen thinks that it’s going to make laurent hate him more, he still has the integrity to say it.

‘You sent your men out to look for me too?’ said Laurent, his mouth twisting. ‘No,’ said Damen, and pushed Laurent hard out of sight, into the shelter of one of the huge, crumbling blocks of stone. In the next second, the troop was on them, at least two hundred men, so that the air was thick with the passage of horses. Damen pressed Laurent firmly into the rock, and held him in place with his body. The riders didn’t slow, even on this uncertain ground in the dark, and any man in their path would be trampled, tumbled, kicked from hoof to hoof. Discovery was a real threat, the rock cool under his palms, the dark shuddering with the pounding of hooves and heavy lethal horseflesh. He could feel Laurent against him, the barely contained tension, adrenalin mixed with his dislike of the proximity, the urge in him to prise himself out and away, stifled by necessity.

throwback <3 i think this is very intentionally placed in this conversation, as a reminder that they are the same people they were in prince’s gambit

‘I know you’re not cold,’ said Damen. ‘You weren’t cold when you ordered me tied to the post. You weren’t cold when you pushed me down on your bed.’

more true things laurent does not want to hear right now! also i like the use of warmth, as the opposite of cold, to signify both vengeful rage and romantic/sexual passion. two sides of the same coin

‘A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.’

rewinding to their previous argument. aren’t they both tired? i’m tired.

[sxnshxnxxnddxxsxxs]

i really feel like we don’t discuss enough just how deep jkr’s white supremacy goes

like it’s way more than just:

cho chang’s name

almost every black character being tall and sporty

kingley’s name

the goblins

the house elves

the only south asian thing about the patil twins being their names

there’s way more but those are the talking points that are usually discussed in the white supremacy context of jkr’s bigotry.

but there’s something else that i find to be particularly insidious which i don’t see that many conversations about.

so for context when i did my a level i had had to research late 19th century pseudoscience because i was studying gothic literature. and i came across things like phrenology and the criminal mind and honestly it feels like jkr discovered these theories and just ran with them.

as a quick explanation phrenology is the theory that by studying the shape of someone’s skull you can see if they’re predisposed to criminality and lombroso’s criminal mind is the theory that criminality is hereditary and you can tell by observing someone’s physical features. it’s also the general consensus in both these theories that someone with physical ‘defects’ or deformities’ will be predisposed to criminality which also makes them incredibly ableist.

both are incredibly eugenicist and white supremacist theories because they’re essentially saying that you can tell if someone is inherently good or bad and thereby whether they deserve to be alive/within society/treated as equals by looking at their physical features.

they are both complete bullshit pseudoscience with no real basis in fact.

now where this comes into hp and jkr is that the antagonists and the villains of the series are disproportionately described as having these very negative physical characteristics.

like the very obvious one is voldemort with no nose and being snakelike.

but also the way peter pettigrew is described.

“His thin, colourless hair was unkempt and there was a large bald patch on top. He had the shrunken appearance of a plump man who had lost a lot of weight in a short time. His skin looked grubby, almost like Scabbers’s fur, and something of the rat lingered around his pointed nose, his very small, watery eyes.” (poa ch 19)

like the man is literally being compared to an animal (yes i know it’s implied in the lore that the longer one stays in their animagus form the more traits they take on but the point still stands).

then there’s marcus flint who as far as i remember is literally just a minor antagonist.

“Marcus Flint was even larger than Wood. He had a look of trollish cunning on his face as he replied” (cos ch 7)

like she really has a thing for comparing people to animals which is a very common tool in white supremacy for dehumanising people.

and then there’s greyback

“a big, rangy man with matted grey hair and whiskers, whose black Death Eater’s robes looked uncomfortably tight. He had a voice like none that Harry had ever heard: a rasping bark of a voice. Harry could smell a powerful mixture of dirt, sweat and, unmistakeably, of blood coming from him. His filthy hands had long yellowish nails.” (hbp ch 27)

now admittedly it’s slightly different with greyback since jkr is very openly saying in the narrative that he’s less than human and too dangerous for society because jkr only believes in equality for muggleborns and no one else.

but as is stands there are so many examples some big some small of the physical descriptions of villains and antagonists having negative connotations. the reason that it’s so insidious is because this is a children’s book series. and children soak up information like sponges including the implication that the further you are from the beauty standards the worse of a person you are (something that is reinforced by society). then when you place that in the context of the west where hp is most popular then it becomes the further away you are from whiteness (the western beauty standard) the worse of a person you are.

it seems like a really small thing which is why i don’t think it gets discussed nearly as much as the more overt things but even the small pebbles can have large ripple effects. besides i think think it’s incredibly important to discuss every aspect of jkr’s bigotry.

[emeritusemeritus]

(i’m the anon who submit the fred/angela/george thing)

the way you do fred/reader/george is good because the reader likes both of them and sees them as separate people. not like “i like one and the other is similar”. it’s acknowledged that they are different despite being so similar, and the reader isn’t written to like them JUST because they’re similar.

Hi anon, thanks for your kind words! I definitely agree with you and apparently I have some thoughts on the matter 😂🖤

A device I often use in the writing of twins x reader is that the reader is often the only one able to tell the twins apart, or at least most successful in doing so. This is something I noticed in the books, especially with Harry as he’s often the only one who can tell them apart- they are frequently nice and supportive of Harry and any other character that makes the effort not to treat them like one being. Anyone who dismisses them or treats them as a collective is often hounded or somewhat bullied.

I love the idea that the identical twins don’t look identical to the person that loves them (as is common according to partners of twins). I don’t see James and Oliver looking remotely similar anymore and can see their differences straight away so I imagine that if you cared and spent a lot of time with Fred and George, it would be the same.

I think in terms of writing, I use their natural identical looks to be the main focus for their ‘alikeness’ and their personality to be the differences. So I’ll mimic the whole ‘He’s not Fred I am’ or switching places/ jumpers as a nod to their similarities but their personality and how they interact with the reader is different (at least I always try for it to be).

My personal H/C for a relationship with both twins are…

George is sweeter, in all senses.

He’s a little more sensitive to the emotions of people around him, a little more shy to just come out and say what he feels (Fred is much blunter by default) and often spends time considering his words and actions beforehand.

Fred is more of a do first, think second kind of bloke, especially when it comes to trouble. Many times he’s been late to plans thanks to detentions because he couldn’t help himself, not thinking about the consequences.

George is the warm, welcoming hug at the end of a long day; the comfort and familiarity of someone you’ve known your whole life. The very sight of him is enough to grant you relief from the toil of a long day.

Fred is warm and comforting in his own way, the strong pair of arms that would protect you no matter what but a joke or a prank is never completely off the table.

George puts your feelings first, sometimes to the detriment of his own. He’s gentle and warm, considerate and loving. Calls you Angel all the time, but still uses your actual name endearingly.

Seems to have an endless supply of patience and very rarely loses his temper- never with you.

Fred is protective and quite possessive. He‘s the first to throw hands if you’re upset because of someone and always ready with just the right prank in retaliation, but sometimes it is quite literally fists. He doesn’t have an issue with sharing you, as long as it is only with George. Anyone else thinks they can get too friendly with you? Look into this telescope…

Fred is very touchy feely, always with his hand touching you in some way subconsciously, it’s like his little way of giving that physical affection when his words are joking/ blunt.

The banter would be unreal, always joking and playfully nipping at each other but it’s definitely from a place of love- even if it can sound harsh to other people. If the banter ever went away; that’s when to worry.

*NSFW*

I know I said George was patient.. BUT

He can also switch on to being very dominant in the bedroom, taking control and being a true dom, to the point you really, really want to call him daddy, just to see how he’d react. Even when you’re teasing him, he’s abundantly patient, allowing you to get yourself into deeper and deeper trouble.

Fred is tricky because as dominant as he could be, it’s not his natural way in the bedroom. It’s maybe the only time he lets George take the lead on anything, there’s definitely no competition to be the dominant alpha because it’s just not his style.

Teasing is actively encouraged in and out of the bedroom and he’d secretly love the torment- and inflicting it.

Let me know what you think!? 🖤

[mundanemoongirl]

I just finished Gideon the Ninth and I have THOUGHTS

I’ve seen people talk about this book for a while but never about the plot, so I pretty much went in blind. I wish I knew before reading it that there is a glossary at the end. I was so confused for most of the book and would have gotten invested a lot faster if I understood the terms. That one was on me. My bad.

Okay so obviously there are some issues—every book has their own. It took me over a hundred pages to really get into the book because I didn’t understand the world or plot. I think more can be explained at the beginning. It’s such a fascinating world; Muir should give us much more of it. My other main issue is that sometimes there are paragraphs after paragraphs of dialogue and each line has a dialogue tag. There’s only two people talking. You don’t have to keep telling me who they are.

For a book I thought I wouldn’t like for the longest time, I was pleasantly surprised. Like I love it so much that I got on here to share my thoughts, which isn’t something I usually do. It’s not my favorite, but it sure is unique and entertaining.

I love the different houses and how they interact with each other. I actually wish we learned more about them. We understand the Ninth House, but what is life like on the different houses. I at least liked the little bits I learned about the fourth with the child soldiers. I also like that each necromancer has a different title because each house serves a different function. But seriously, how are you gonna casually write about princesses and give no details about what they do on their planets?

This book has some of the best character development I have ever seen. Especially with Harrow. She and Camilla were my favorites so I’m glad they made it to the end. I also think it’s really funny how there’s all these fantasy names and then there’s Camilla.

I like when Gideon gets more depth too. She went from seeing the fourth as bad teens to trying to protect them. That was one of my favorite parts.

I can’t believe Gideon forgave Harrow. I’m glad she did because I love them, but I have held grudges over much less offenses. I like that Gideon comes off as abrasive at first but the more you learn about her you realize she’s really compassionate. It’s amazing considering the environment she grew up in. Such a great character.

I LOVE the trials. I just love when people slowly figure things out, and this is also when I started understanding necromancy so I was really into the learning. I also appreciated that even though Harrow and Gideon hated each other, they made such a good team and that without trying, Gideon made such a good cavalier.

I often say I like the idea of enemies to lovers and not the common execution of it, but this book embodies that idea perfectly. Gideon and Harrow never become lovers, but the emotional growth they go through and the passion they have for each other kinda represents that feeling. They don’t need to be lovers for this trope to work. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for instead of just an asshole male lead who was never actually going to kill the female lead and they’re both attracted to each other from the start. Nah, these two despised each other and still worked through it. Other authors need to take notes.

The ending was so good. I loved Cytherea flirting with Gideon while fighting her. There’s something about evil characters having a soft spot for a character that is so appealing to me. I’m also an absolute sucker for characters from the far off past existing in the present. Give me this and I will love you forever.

Cytherea is actually a lot like the villain in my wip for the exact reasons I like her. The more I thought about it, the more surprised I was about how much my wip ressembled parts of Gideon the Ninth considering I wrote this stuff before reading the book. The houses are like my clans, the necromancy is similar to the spirits, and both sets of characters are shuttled off to a new location that is full of death. That’s probably like I like this book so much.

Also—the quote “And God said, ‘And I am not enough.’” is one of the best quotes I have ever read. It solely makes up for all the book’s flaws.

So that’s it. I hope Harrow the Ninth is just as good. I get scared to read sequels now because certain sequels are genuinely the worst things I’ve read. I also hope the next book goes more in depth with the worldbuilding. I’m excited to continue this series.

[puppy-stevee]

ik i said 'modern take' in the wip post but that's not what ended up happening, so have a very vague timeline. this was written mostly around midnight and it's unbeta'd so there's bound to be mistakes and incoherence.

Eddie Munson is no stranger to people knocking on his door at all hours, for all sorts of things. During the day it's neighbors needing Wayne's help with a busted pipe under the sink, or a ride into town, or a pack of Camels and a six pack traded for gas money. He and Wayne don't ask for anything in return on these occasions; the trailer park is a community on the outskirts of Hawkins' elite and they take care of their own here, no payment or judgment.

But during the night, when Wayne's long gone and already at work, people come knocking looking for a quick fix with shaky hands and nervous glances over their shoulders. Eddie’ll run them through his (Rick’s) prices, give them a little discount if needed and cover the lost earnings out of his own pocket. He keeps a pocket knife on him in close reach when they’re real shifty and skittish – knock on wood, but he hasn’t had a deal go bad yet.

That changes when Chrissy Cunningham dies in his living room and throws him into the deep end of the Upside Down. No knife can protect him from the monsters he thought only existed in his campaigns. The town turns against him (not like they were on his side in the first place) and brands him a murderer, sends a manhunt after him. When it’s all said and done, hardly anybody wants to buy from him and he loses half his income. He spends most of his free time nowadays cleaning spray paint off the side of the trailer.

All this to say, need for a helping hand and a good high weren’t the only things people came to the Munson’s for.

There’s always been whispers of Satan worshiping, all because he plays D&D and listens to metal music and preaches about the evils of a capitalistic society.

Only a few knew of how close those rumors were to the truth, just a bit skewed to the left.

Eddie Munson is the seventh son of a seventh son. A healing man, as his mamaw would say. He’s never laid eyes on his daddy so that makes him able to do things no other member of his family can.

Now he and Wayne never openly advertised it when they moved to Hawkins when Eddie was eleven. They knew these people weren’t as open-minded as the folks back home were, with their holier than thou attitudes towards the more "primitive" practices of the mountain regions.

Wayne wasn’t normally one to speak ill about people but when he told Eddie, with a not unkind voice, “These are the type of people that get huffy when they think y’ain’t usin’ the book the way the good Lord intended.” Eddie remembers nodding along in the truck’s passenger seat, even though he didn’t really have a firm grasp on what his role in this was just yet. Wayne continued, “but one day these folks are gonna need someone and their medicine won’t be able to help ‘em.”

Eddie understands now. It’s been ten years and he’s seen all kinds of people for just about everything under the sun, from the common cold to warts to colic. He isn’t a man of faith by any means; doesn’t really believe in God in the way most Christians do – he just knows that the religion goes hand in hand with the mountain magic he was taught and it feels like he’s breaking an unspoken rule when he tries to leave it out.

It’s been ten years since people started seeking him out, mostly under the cover of night where prying eyes can’t see, but business has been kind of slow because of the whole murder allegation fiasco, even though his name was cleared and the blame was shifted to a copycat killer.

So he isn’t expecting someone to be pounding on his front door at two in the morning.

The explicative he has on the tip of his tongue dies when he opens the door to a woman carrying a toddler bundled in blankets.

“Please,” the woman says. “She’s sick and I heard you could help.”

Eddie looks at them and weighs his options. He could turn them away and the kid potentially gets worse with whatever she has and the guilt would eat away at him. Or he could be a decent fucking person and help. He opens the door further and ushers them inside.

The kid is awake, he notes, turning on the overhead light in the kitchen. She just looks like shit. Probably feels like it, too. The corners and edges of her mouth are tinged red, a dead giveaway for thrush.

“How’d you hear of me?” He takes the kid from her mother and tilts her head back toward the light. “Can you open your mouth for me, kid?” She does and the back of her throat looks like she went to town on a whole tub of cottage cheese. He winces in sympathy and hands her back to her mother.

“When I went to the pharmacy to pick up Katy’s medicine, I couldn’t afford it out of pocket. So I started asking around and a woman told me of a boy that cured her own son a couple years ago.”

There’s been so many people, Eddie has no clue who she’s talking about.

The woman tells him her name, Michelle, and he motions for her to lay Katy on the couch. He’s getting a rag from the bathroom when his bedroom door opens.

“Wa’s goin’ on, Eds?” Steve asks, still half asleep and rubbing his eyes. “Why’re all the lights on?”

If it were another time, Eddie would coo and pull him close, tuck his face into his shoulder and rock him back and forth until he was asleep on his feet. Instead, he tries to guide him back into the bedroom with a gentle hand on his hip.

“Nothin’, baby,” he says quietly. “Go back to bed, I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished, alright?”

Steve looks like he’s about to agree until a nasty sounding cough from the living room has him perking up.

“Is there someone else here?” he frowns, eyes darting from the end of the hall back to Eddie. He pushes past him before Eddie can even get a word out. Eddie sighs and follows him, detouring into the kitchen to run the rag under cold water and grab a bowl.

“Steve, this is Michelle and Katy,” he introduces as he carefully moves Katy’s head onto a pillow. “Katy’s sick and her mom brought her to me.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “You? What can you do?”

Michelle looks alarmed at this but Eddie is quick to reassure her, “You have no reason to worry. Steve here’s just never seen me in action before. Has Katy eaten anything at all?”

Warily, Michelle shakes her head. “Just liquids. She hasn’t been able to swallow anything.”

Eddie nods but gives a warm smile to Katy and feels her forehead for a fever. “Hurts, doesn’t it?” She nods, looking absolutely miserable. “Don’t worry, kid, by tomorrow you’re gonna be feeling right as rain.”

Addressing her mother, “I’m gonna do some things that might look a little weird to you, but I promise I know what I’m doing. You were told to come to me for good reason.”

He starts wiping Katy down with the wet rag and mutters the Lord’s prayer under his breath, does this three times until the rag is warm, and then wrings the water out into the bowl. Next, he holds Katy’s mouth open and blows air into it. Steve and Michelle give him odd looks but he ignores them in favor of getting a lid for the bowl and throwing the rag into the ice box. He and Steve walk her out and Eddie hands her the bowl after Katy is in the car.

“Keep this under her bed and make sure she stays there until the fever breaks. As for the thrush, it should be cleared up by morning.”

Michelle’s brow furrows. “How? You didn’t do anything, how can she be cured?”

“I’m confident enough in my abilities to know she’ll be alright.”

Michelle leaves with a healthy dose of skepticism, as Eddie thinks all people should, but he knows that not all people believe he’s the real thing until they witness it for themselves.

“Care to tell me what that was all about?” Steve asks after they’re back inside the trailer, door locked and lights off as they crawl into bed. Eddie just yawns and does what he wanted to do earlier: pulls him close and tucks Steve’s head under his chin and runs his fingers up and down his back.

“It’s a long ass story that can wait until the sun is up and I’ve had at least three cups of coffee and seven hours of sleep. This shit is exhausting.”

it is said that the seventh son has healing powers that can cure thrush, talk the fire out of a burn, and stop bleeding. for thrush, he blows into the patient's mouth (in some instances, they'll spit into the mouths, as it's believed their saliva holds the healing properties.to cure fever, you gotta stave it out. don't eat anything once the fever comes on. wipe yourself down with an ice cold wash rag and recite the lord's prayer three times. when the rag is warm, wring the water out into a bowl and put the rag in the freezer. keep the water under the bed or couch and lay on it until the fever breaks.

[astrronomemes]

THE BAD GUYS : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 2022 Dreamworks Animation film The Bad Guys. change & alter as needed.

“Seriously, though, you don’t like cake? Name one food better than cake!”

“Look at that. 4:00pm. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.”

“These are the cards we’ve been dealt, so we might as well play ’em.”

“I just wanted a longer car chase. That’s the best part.”

“Keep running, [name]! One of these days, your luck is gonna run out!”

“I’ve made a lot of enemies in my time — I mean, a lot — but, out of all the people in the world... I hate you guys the least.”

“Wait, what’s going on? You’ve got that twinkle in your eye.”

“Are we all in this together?”

“Oh, [name], it’s not a competition! ...And if it were, it would really be more of a tie.”

“If you look closely enough, even trash can be recycled into something beautiful.”

“I am definitely going to lose my job, and I will not hesitate to take you down with me!”

“Thank you, dear. You’re such a good boy.”

“There is good even in the worst places.”

“Now let’s make like a wolf, and get the pack out of here.”

“Well... this just got a little weird.”

“Not everyone gets a second chance. Make the most of it, [name].”

“They say experience is the best teacher... and they are wrong. I am.”

“What, may I ask, are you good at?”

“I have never seen him so chipper. Has he been meditating?”

“Don’t you ever get tired of lying?”

“Maybe they will believe you, and maybe they won’t, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t do it for them. Do it for you.”

“This is your chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends! Come on, what have you got to lose?”

“Believe it or not, I’m rooting for you, [name].”

“No, it’s okay! It’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you! I know you’re scared. I would be, too, if I were you.”

“Truth is, we actually have a lot in common.”

“I must say, you’ve really turned a corner. You’re really getting it.”

“I don’t waste time thinking about stuff that’s never gonna happen.”

“You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were avoiding me.”

“I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. I was hoping you were going to ask me to dance.”

“So... how does it feel, to have everyone not fear you for a change?”

“Tonight’s headline: change is impossible, you should always judge a book by its cover, and all stereotypes have been affirmed.”

“I’m tired of being scary! I’m tired of being an outcast!”

“Guess I’m still the best bad guy the world has ever seen.”

“Just like riding a stolen bicycle.”

“Now, instead of hurting people, I’m helping them. I’m still me, I’m just... me, on the right side.”

“You’re doing the right thing. And someday, your friends — if they’re real friends... I think they’ll understand.”

“You stole my car?! ...Respect.”

“You did a good thing! For me!”

“...Okay, yeah, it was a trap.”

“I’m starting to see why your friends dumped you!”

“When I woke up this morning, this is not where I saw the day going.”

“What happened? Did we blow up? ...Is this heaven?”

“I’m proud of you, [name].”

“You’ve got a good thing going here, [name].”

“Is he seriously going to get away with this?”

“Good luck out there, guys.”

[lily-onher-grave]

Okay I saw Wicked again and I’m reobsessed so anyway some of my favorite things from this performance and just in general

The first word of the show is good and the last word of the show is wicked and if that doesn’t sum up how well the symbolism hits idk what does

Watching NOMTW it really did just hit me all over again the themes of fate and destiny and the limitations society puts on us and the limitations we put on ourselves

Wicked is a tragedy in the truest sense! No matter what Elphaba does she will not win and she cannot change things! No matter what Glinda does she will lose Elphaba!

Glinda’s sad face in NOMTW, and also how she is surrounded by the Ozians but is still so alone. They’re all giving her so much space, she has to walk across the stage and reach out just to get them to look her in the eyes (she’s lost the only people who ever saw her as a person rather than a doll)

The first time Elphaba runs downstage and she’s grinning so wide and she has so much hope for herself and for the world

The silence while Elphaba is dancing alone at the Ozdust, but more importantly, the way the music starts all soft and quiet when Glinda starts dancing with her. It’s the most romantic tune in the first act, maybe in the entire show

All the hand holding

The way that Glinda almost goes with her in Defying Gravity

The way Glinda reaches for Elphaba once she starts flying. Not caring at all that the guards and the Ozians and everyone else on stage can see. She’s just trying to reach her one last time

(The way Elphaba reaches back)

Glinda’s solo in Thank Goodness (Celia Hottenstein nails Glinda’s lower parts and she was an absolute dream especially in this song)

When Elphaba returns and Glinda walks into the room, the first thing she does is run into Elphaba’s arms. She’s horrified at the situation later but at that moment she doesn’t even notice anyone but Elphie

As Long As You’re Mine. Look Fiyero and Elphaba are Not It for me but the intensity of that song, the way the music slides into these dark little motifs, the harmonies. It’s so good

Glinda mourning Nessa when no one else is around

Elphaba blaming herself and Glinda immediately trying to comfort her even though they’re mad at each other

Idk if this is a normal thing and I’ve just never caught it before but when Fiyero was holding Glinda at gunpoint Elphaba was shaking her head, she looked so scared

Glinda tossing Elphaba her hat back and telling her to go

The opt up on FiyeeEErroooOOOOOOooooo

(All of No Good Deed)

Especially when she’s further back and the smoke is whirling around her and everything is purple and gold and it’s so sinister and her cape is flying around her and she is well and truly broken

I actually really love March of the Witch Hunters. It sounds sick af and it makes me imagine a world where the musical was closer to Maguire’s book and kept that super eerie, darkly violent vibe

(I feel the same way about when Fiyero is alone after ALAYM, and the music gets all intense and he’s running around the stage, holding up his lantern. idk those scenes hit a very specific vibe and I don’t quite know what it is but I like it)

Before For Good, when Elphaba started to tell Glinda to run, Glinda sobbed her name and it hit so hard

Have I mentioned the hand holding?

The way that they stand so still in For Good. So many songs have such insane movement to them, or even interludes between parts but For Good is just the two of them

(It’s such a love song)

Elphaba blew a kiss to Glinda and then pressed her hand over her heart when she hid her behind the curtain before the melting scene

Glinda’s sad face in NOMTW pt2

Again idk how common this is but before the lil For Good reprise Fiyero started to lead Elphaba away and she was about to take his hand but then Glinda started singing “who can say…” and Elphaba immediately turned away from him to go walk toward Glinda

[butmakeitgayblog]

Since Groundhog Day was yesterday, it made me think of Clexa in a similar situation to the movie. Except it’s Valentine’s Day and Clarke is a jaded news producer, who really just wants to work on her documentaries and create something “real” unlike all the puff pieces her news station forces her to produce. And Lexa is the on camera journalist who actually enjoys any opportunity to talk to people and have insight into other peoples lives, although she does wish for more hard hitting investigative stories, the puff pieces are kinda fun. So the two find themselves working together on a new piece for Valentine’s Day in the nearby city known for their extravagant Valentines celebrations. Lexa is enjoying herself in the festivities and getting some great interviews but Clarke can’t wait for the day to be over, as soon as they’re done she’s packing up her stuff and heading back home. But nature has a different idea and an unexpected storm has them trapped this lovey dovey town for another day. Of course another day never happens because Clarke keeps waking up to another reliving of Valentine’s Day. Over and over. She doesn’t know what to do or how to make it stop, so she actually starts to get to know Lexa and starts to find how much they have in common but any progress she makes is cut off at the end of the day. What does she have to do to make this day end?

Dude ok so I have thought about this

Because if you look it up it says that in the movie overall he spent OVER 33 years trapped in that cycle

33 years.

Can you imagine Clarke, the biggest anti-Cupid's Day Grinch (as Lexa says, excuse her mixed monikers), trapped not only in the same day in this same town in this same gd hotel, but it's on the one day a year she initially said she hated and held great disdain for???

33 years spent feeling her very one-sighted heart shift and soften and evolve. Not to mention, 33 years slowly falling in love with Lexa, the very woman she had initially felt so bland - if not contemptuous - toward. 33 years spent just learning everything there is about her. Learning all of her little quirks. Memorizing her favorite foods, her favorite books, her favorite words and knowing which ones make her grin in unexpected delight. Learning how to make her smile. Or frown. Or scrunch up her little red nose in the dying cold of Spring. Memorizing what makes this woman blush, or get angry. Sometimes beg, when she's lucky and it's a particularly good version of the day.

It doesn't actually take 33 years, obviously. She fell in love with Lexa way before that, because honestly, how could she not. But fuck, there Clarke is. Stuck in this hell place, hopelessly in love with this women who she knows everything about, who if they could just get the fuck out of this day she would marry in a minute, who has held her and made love to her more times than she can count, who she has fought with and been humiliated byand chastised and made laugh, who is the first person to really make Clarke feel alive... and yet most days Lexa can barely even remember Clarke's last name. She's just Clarke again. The Grinch who doesn't believe in love and hates everything about Valentine's Day.

So many nights they fall asleep together Lexa's bed because Clarke insists. Clarke sighing into the feel of holding her just like an old wife, Lexa squirming with the excitement of a new and unexpected adventure in her love life.

And every morning they wake up across the hall from each other as nothing more than casual workmates.

[veinsfullofstars]

Precious babies - I’m sure nothing bad will ever happen to them.

(ID: Reference sheet for my Kirby OCs, Para Dee and Bow Dee. Visually, Para is a young Waddle Dee with light orange fur, a pale beige face, peach cheek blush, brown eyes, and yellow feet. He wears large round glasses taped on the sides of his head and a green-and-brown plaid bowtie, and there is a little curl of fur swooping up from his forehead. Bow is a smaller Waddle Dee with red-orange fur, a beige face, pink cheek blush, big black eyebrows, brown eyes with a hint of sea-foam blue on the bottom, and gold-yellow feet. She wears a large navy-blue bow on the back of her head, the ribbon rimmed in pale-blue and wrapped around her head in the style of Kirby’s Fighter headband. Additional information below the cut. END ID.)

Just their kid versions at the moment, but there might be teen and adult refs for them in the future depending on how much story stuff I get around to showcasing. I got a couple other story-pertinent characters in mind as well, but they’re still deep in concept stages, so no refs for them just yet, haha. Also, if you guys want refs for young Dedede and Meta, lemme know.

Sketch started some time in 11/23, render started 12/13/23, finished 12/20/23, updated 03/11/24, updated for color correction 11/02/24. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 01/08/24. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost

(OC info updated as of 08/28/24)

—

Some facts about Para Dee:

-His name is just a shortened version of “Parasol Waddle Dee” - in addition to reflecting his Copy Ability, he has yet to find another name that he feels fits him better, so he keeps it as a nickname for much of his childhood and beyond (a common practice among Waddle Dees).

-He is around DDD and Meta’s age, and a little older than Bow.

-He is the middle child in a pretty big family. While he cares for them all very dearly, being crammed in a veritable mosh pit of siblings gets to be a bit much for him sometimes. He hangs out with DDD and co. partially to get away for a while, partially because he was probably going to get roped in with them anyway.

-He shares a deep love of books and learning with Meta, though his interests lean more towards math, science, and mechanical engineering, with space being perhaps his biggest hyperfixation. Seriously, this lad can go on about nebulae and starships and quantum mechanics for hours if you let him.

-Para has an unfortunate habit of “Um, actually”-ing people about topics he knows (or thinks he knows) well, annoying his friends at best and making him an easy target for local bullies at worse…

-Unlike his friends, Para is not a very active or adventurous soul. He is easily startled, chronically un-athletic, and unlikely to harm a fly let alone another person. He much prefers quieter activities like reading and stargazing, especially from the comfort of his own home. The only physical activity he seems to enjoy is rollerskating, though all he does is leisurely roll around the park while watching the others fail at doing cool tricks.

-Though reluctant about most things, Para is especially afraid of heights. Even being slightly up off the ground has him scrambling to cling to the nearest solid object (usually DDD, who has probably picked him up, possibly with the intent to throw).

-While his friends go on about their lofty goals of being kings and knights, Para’s ambitions are relatively lax. He’d like to go to university off-world to study rocket science when he’s older, maybe even learn to build them one day, but that’s about as big as his dreams get, and even those could be narrowed down further to just seeing a real interstellar starship in person. Sometimes, he imagines flying through space on one, seeing all those stars he loves so much up close and personal, even if the idea of being up that high makes his little heart stutter in his chest…

—

Some facts about Bow Dee:

-She is named, unsurprisingly, for the bow on her head, which she has been wearing since she was a baby and practically refuses to remove without a lot of coaxing (stars help anyone who tries to take it off by force). She keeps both the name and the bow for much of her childhood, though she might not keep them (or her pronouns) forever…

-She is the baby of the group (a couple years younger than DDD, Meta, and Para).

-She comes from a relatively small family, taken care of by her two (extremely cool) moms and an older brother who is often away at school or out with his friends (usually to get away from his "obnoxious baby sister"). As a result, she is on her own more than she cares to be - hence why she follows DDD and his friends around like an overeager puppy all the time.

-She thinks Meta is the coolest person ever from the moment she meets him. She hovers around him constantly whenever the gang is together (to his slight annoyance), sometimes even mimicking his poses and gestures without meaning to (usually while Meta is mimicking DDD the same way).

-Bow was born with a Copy Ability atypical for Waddle Dees, that being Water. At this point in her life, the most she can do is manifest bubbles at will and maybe manipulate small puddles if she focuses hard enough. Sometimes, in moments of high stress, she can summon powerful jets of water from nearby rivers, lakes, or even pipes beneath the ground (something that has definitely gotten her into trouble more than once). She will get the hang of her powers with enough time and practice, especially as her interests in oceans, sea life, and sailing grow over time…

-Bow finds it hard to sit still and loses focus easily if she’s not already invested in something (much to her teachers’ frustration). But when she is invested in a task, she will go all in on it until either her energy runs out or something else grabs her attention.

-Bow loves sports and most outdoor activities, constantly bouncing between favorites (though she probably enjoys swimming and surfing the most) and getting super competitive when teams are involved (much to DDD and Meta’s delight, and Para’s dismay).

-On that note, she is the only one of the four who has ever successfully landed a kickflip without getting hurt (at least after the first time).

-Bow - who often forgets that she is the smallest person in the room - will challenge anything to a fight if it makes her angry enough. Literally, she will look a feral Gigant Edge directly in the helmet and put up her little fists like she has any chance at winning. The only exception to this is bugs - she will perish before letting a bug anywhere near here (something DDD never lets her live down).

-If she had a mouth, she would bite.

[meloriri]

bsd 108 spoilers !!! + F Dostoevsky’s crime and punishment spoilers i guess

im not totally convinced that fyodor’s act was completely fake honestly and ill explain why! this is just a quick thought not fully thought out so bare with me

i’m sure this is common knowledge but character backstory and personalities tend to be ripped from the author’s works rather than the actual author’s personality. Example; Akutagawa and the mc of rashoumon, dazai and the mc if no longer human, etc. if not inspired by the main character, they’re inspired by the theme of that work or many of the author’s works

f dostoevsky’s crime and punishment is a novel that follows Raskolnikov, a main character who literally kills someone because he thinks he’s special and he can. ( obviously a lot more in depth in the book lol) the book follows him in the first segment committing his crime and another segment of him receiving “punishment.” The first part is actually over fairly fast but it’s still really important to note.

while Raskolnikov is a lot more anxious and cautious than fyodor, i still see the personalities intersect. Raskolnikov goes on about how he’s going to commit this murder and thinks that it actually makes him a saviour because the woman he wanted to kill was a bad person. aka; he’s killing this lady because it’ll make the world a better place, according to him. Sounds familiar? Fyodor in BSD does his wrong doings claiming its to cleanse the world from evil. I’m sure most people already know this, but I thought I’d catch you up anyway. Raskolnikov is a man of few words, never seeming to lose his composure past the drop of a facial expression. He’s incredibly intelligent in most regards and because of that he overlooks his own flaws. He’s also kind of neurotic, he talks to himself, does things on impulse, etc. He’s not good at socializing and yet he can blend effortlessly into conversations with others. He feels a lack of remorse at any of his wrong doings. I see all these traits easily in BSD’s Fyodor.

However, in the second half of the novel, Raskolnikov faces some changes. He says he doesn’t feel guilty, and he still believes he’s in the right, and yet there’s a sense of guilt in his inner conscience that’s eating away at him. Suddenly, he gets nervous, expressive, emotional, he’s rushing to defend himself because he thinks what he did is justified because of his circumstances. He thinks he needs help. Raskolnikov doesn’t face actual punishment for his crimes until the very end of the novel, instead he struggles with the inner turmoil of knowing what he did. In the most recent chapter, Fyodor has this personality switch break down where he screams out for help and basically says he cant control it because of his ability and thats not his true self, referring to the him that apathetically kills others. Similarly, Raskolnikov breaks down multiple times in the novel, saying that the him that did that doesn’t represent him fully, that he couldn’t control it, etc. He victimizes himself, saying it’s because he’s poor and ill. In fact, he tells another character named Sonia that he cant control it because he is ill. Sounds familiar?

Raskolnikov backtracks several times in the novel, reverting back to his apathetic personality before breaking down all over again. At one point, he even confesses his entire crime, before suddenly taking on a light carefree looking and claiming to have been kidding. Literally EXACTLY what just happened with Sigma in the manga.

I don’t fully believe that Fyodor was telling the truth, but I don’t think it was all just a lie like he claimed. I personally think that the note and gun WAS from himself, that he wrote the “help me” in a similar crazed panic and hid it away. When he saw it, he was reminded and broke down again, accidentally spilling a bit too much truth in what he said. He snaps back into being normal after calming down and acts like he’s still in the other personality to trick Sigma. And, given what he said, this is somehow related to his ability.

How is it related to his ability? I have NO fucking idea. Though we have seen Fyodor with another form of himself in dead apple claiming to “crime” and “ punishment” which would check out perfectly here, theres too many other contradictions for me to be confident in that at all

What do you think??? I’m going to work through my thoughts about his ability more. then maybe I’ll add to this :)

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

I know I said I wouldn't give any more snippets but I need to know what you guys think of this part - aka I should maybe look into getting beta readers. Maybe.

“So,” she started. “What do you want to do today?”

“Well,” the star hummed thoughtfully. “I was wondering if we could build one of your projecs from your schematic journal you know. Just for fun.” She froze, briefly contemplating his words. In the past she’d probably have been thrilled to hear someone say such words. But after the meeting she had yesterday, she couldn’t find it within herself to be proud of her schematic journal any more.

“You’d really want to do something like that?” she frowned, leaning against the wooden post of the nearby fence.

“Why not?”

“Cepheus,” she sighed. “You can practically do any and everything that I’ve created and written in that journal.”

“So?”

“So why would you want to waste your time building it, Cepheus? It’s pointless and impractical-,”

He frowned, looking over her carefully, “Is that what the king of fools and his court of sycophants told you?”

“Shhh!” she hissed, nervously glancing around the clearing to ensure that no one had heard the insult directed towards the king. “You can’t just insult the king like that!”

“And why not?”

“Because…because he’s right!” she exclaimed, feeling the words tumble from her before she could stop them. “Everything he and his advisors have said about my inventions were right! Look at everything I’ve done Cepheus! None of it has ever been good enough in comparison to what the king and the other apprentices can do! That’s why no one wants to give them or even me a chance!”

“That’s not true-,”

“Oh? Okay then, name me one thing I’ve managed to accomplish this week without any help from you, both directly and indirectly! Go on! Try it!”

He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably, “well you know, there was that…one time. And I mean- uhhh.” He glanced towards Valentino who shrugged. “You know Asha, I haven’t been around you for that long so-,”

“You haven’t!” she angrily nodded in agreement. “But the fact of the matter is that my inventions are useless!”

“They’re not useless,” he argued back. “In fact, they helped you against me in the library the other day. You only lost by one book. One book.”

“Because you were goofing off!” she retorted.

“Alright that’s a fair point, but still! You can’t deny that you were using some innovation and creativity there!”

“That didn’t pay off in the long run whatsoever? Absolutely!” she huffed, forcefully sitting herself on top of the fence as she scowled at the ground.

Cepheus stood there for a moment, confusion filling his features before he frowned and shook his head. “I honestly can’t believe that I’m the one who has to say this,” the star muttered to himself before sitting next to her. “So maybe you had a little help from me, big deal! Doesn’t everyone in your country kiss up to the king in hopes that he’ll help them out too? There’s no shame in needing help from someone else, even if it’s supernatural assistance-,”

“There is if you’re me!” she argued back. “Everything I do and say has to compete against it, just to beg people to even give what I do a chance. And then you saw what happened yesterday, what could’ve happened if you weren’t there!” She sniffled, as her voice wavered. “Nothing I could’ve made or invented would’ve been able to save Mara, Abril or Adelina like you did.”

“Most people in Rosas wouldn’t have been able to do that either,” Cepheus gently interjected. “What I did isn’t exactly something common nor easy, and if you hadn’t saved your birds when you did, then there would be nothing I could’ve done for them either. Same goes for your grandmother’s music box. You managed to fix that with no one helping you.”

“But it wouldn’t have worked without your power.”

“My power that you suspected and figured out it needed,” he pointed out. “Shouldn’t that count for something?”

“Maybe? Ah,” she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Sorry, it’s just hard to be optimistic about this with everything going on. It just feels like no  matter what I do, I’m always running into dead ends, that I can never break through.”

He nodded, looking towards the sky, “I understand. But you don’t have to feel bad about that Asha. I get that it’s frustrating when people constantly never believe in you, but you can’t let them get to you. Who will believe in you if you can’t believe in yourself?”

“You I guess,” she teased, as he chuckled. 

“Well you’re not wrong about that,” he started before leaning back. “You know I’ve seen you do some crazy things lately Asha.”

“Crazy? What have I done that’s been crazy?”

He glanced at her as he began to ticking off points on his fingers.“Hmm, scaling floating objects, swinging from chandeliers, hip throwing a pyromaniac arsonist, kicking me off a cart-,” he paused grinning at her. “I’m having to take a breath because this list is so long-,” 

“Only because you put me in those circumstances!” she replied, grinning in spite of herself.

“Me? No, no, it was that stupid king of yours, which brings me to this-,” his smile vanished. “Why do you work for a man who has such little appreciation of you? Surely you could find yourself in a better position?”

She shook her head. The last thing she needed was the star, of all creatures, to hate the king on her behalf. “you don’t understand. My family and I…we owe the king.”

“Money?”

“Sort of,” she lied.

“Hmm, again with the financial problems. You know Asha, if it’s money you need, I could-,”

“It’s more than just money!” she quickly interjected, as she’d realized she’d been close to giving away her father’s friendship with the king. “But he’s been nice to us, in fact he’s been nice to a lot of people in Rosas. That’s why people come here to stay.”

The star didn’t look as if he believed her before she added. “In fact, he officiated infrastructure projects to help a lot of people back when Rosas was fairly new.”

“What sort of infrastructure projects?” the star asked looking a bit curious as she mentally berated herself for letting such a fact slip.

[aranarumei]

the anomalous agate (part two)

now: here's what some of you actually wanted to see yesterday.

a quick rundown for anyone who has no idea what this is: here's ch 1 on tumblr and ao3. I posted an updated version of ch 1 yesterday that flows a bit nicer, and recommend checking that out if you haven't already.

and, while it's even less necessary to do, consider checking this post out, too. the context in which it was written is kind of... irrelevant to this fic, honestly, but it provides a bit of background that I think enhances some of what's going on in this chapter and the next one (that I haven't written yet).

with that out of the way, this chapter is over 7k, so here's the ao3 link if you prefer. (there's also a bit of a longer author's note there at the end) if you'd like to stick to tumblr, follow me under the cut.

edit: part three

case 2-x: the anomalous agate (part two)

Even the usually oblivious Tanimoto-san noticed my listless mood in the following days. It wasn’t unusual for me to worry or speculate about my clients—everyone who stepped into Richard’s store certainly had some kind of interesting quality, but something about Hanzawa tugged oddly at my chest.

To complicate matters, I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. Richard had spent Sunday carrying on as usual, but every once in a while, he’d drift into his thoughts and his brows would furrow like something was bothering him. This wasn’t a trait unique to Hanzawa’s presence, but this was possibly the first time I’d seen Richard look genuinely unsettled instead of troubled.

It wasn’t an expression I liked seeing on his face.

“Seigi-kun, you seem deep in thought,” Tanimoto-san said. “Something on your mind?” 

Class had ended. I flipped aimlessly through the pages of the book on gemstones I’d borrowed from Richard before tucking it into my bag. Somehow, I didn’t quite feel as if I could meet her eyes. “You mentioned there were many gems that did heat treatment, right?” I asked as we began to shuffle out of the classroom. 

She responded with less cheer than usual, and I felt dejected to be the cause. “Oh, yes… not just corundum,” she said. “Beryl and quartz, too. That encompasses a large quantity of jewels which are just named as different forms of these materials, really… heat treatment is used often to change their color. Apart from deepening the red of a ruby, there’s aquamarine—a type of beryl—which is most commonly green-blue. Heat treatment tends to enhance the blue color and really give it that expected ‘aqua’ color. One of the most dramatic transformations, to me, is amethyst—it can turn a deep orange when it’s treated with heat.” 

“Ah—I saw that last weekend,” I said. “It’s meant to mimic citrines, right?”

“Citrines tend to be a paler yellow, actually,” Tanimoto-san said. “But they’re rare—especially ones with a deep orange color. That’s why heat-treatment of amethysts is so common.” She sighed, gaze drifting off in space as we headed to her next class. “When we think of the term ‘citrus,’ the first thing that comes to mind is often an orange, despite the variety of citrus fruits in other colors. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the reason people mistake amethysts for citrine so easily.” 

“It fits with their preconceived notions, huh?” I said, earning an approving nod from Tanimoto-san. “I still remember what you said before—about wanting to appreciate the stones as they were without heat treatment. I thought that was a really beautiful idea.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you think so, Seigi-kun,” she said. We came to a halt in front of her next classroom, but she didn’t go inside just yet. “But we’d talked about this already… is there something else you wanted to ask me?” 

I swallowed around an uncomfortable bit of air. We were early for her class—it wasn’t a particularly long walk from classroom to classroom, but I liked spending time with her—but she usually went directly inside. It’s so nice of her to take time out of her day to worry about me, I thought. But again, I knew that I must have been really out of sorts for her to notice. 

“It was just mentioned in passing,” I said at her prompting, “But… well, a client was discussing agate, and I heard that some of them were dyed. Is that a common process?” 

Her expression immediately soured. For a minute I thought I’d stepped on some kind of conversational landmine, but though she looked unhappy, she spoke without malice. “It’s—not uncommon, no. Agate is porous, so it absorbs dye well, as do any stones like it.” I could see her turning over her words with care. “But… while heat treatment is an irreversible process, dyeing tends to be less effective. The color can fade over time, especially under sunlight, and it may not stain evenly. And depending on what dye is used, it can be removed with solvents like acetone… so it’s a process that’s much less certain.” 

“So, they’re kind of fragile,” I observed, “even if they’re made to look nicer.” 

“Well, they certainly look pretty—the bright colors can enhance how distinct the banding is, so you could argue the dye only enhances the best features of agate and other types of chalcedony, but…” 

“…But?” 

“Dyeing stones is really common for selling fakes,” she said. “And well—I just think that’s inexcusable, to conceal the truth like that. Even though dyed stones can be detected, that’s usually only after they’re sold, right? And this often happens with online purchases, so… I can’t help but feel resentful.” She frowned. “And every time I’ve traveled to see something related to rocks, the gift shop always carried those tumbled and dyed stones! It’s hard to find anything else…” 

“That must be tough,” I said, though it was hard to suppress a smile at the thought of Tanimoto-san scowling in the middle of a gift shop. She usually seemed so magnanimous, and it was nice to see that she had her weak points, too. 

She pouted. “I know it’s a petty reason, okay!” she said. A touch more melancholy, she added, “But every time I see them, I want to stand up and yell at everyone that rocks and minerals are more interesting than that, because it feels like these polished stones and other kinds of jewels are the only kind of beauty that people care about. For all kinds of rocks and minerals… I don’t think they possess a beauty that is just skin-deep. But when you limit the conversation to just rocks, because they look so different, the interests just don’t overlap…” She glanced up at me, seemed to realize that the type of person she was talking about was right next to her, and hurried to clarify. “Ah—I didn’t mean that as a strike against you though, Seigi-kun.” 

“No, I totally understand,” I quickly reassured her. “I mean, in an ideal world, that’s how we want to think of other people, too, right? Without judging based on the outside alone. And I think anyone would want to share their interest with more people. So, if what you like is rarer, or unappreciated, it feels sad, right?” 

“Right,” Tanimoto-san said. She smiled. “…I really am glad we get to talk about gemstones. I always feel like I end up hearing something interesting.” 

Not for the first time, I thought that Tanimoto-san was some kind of angel. I truly didn’t have any questions about rocks to reciprocate with, except— “There’s a few rocks that do count as gemstones, right?” I asked. “Like lapis lazuli.” 

“You remembered!” Tanimoto-san exclaimed. “Lapis lazuli’s a particularly special rock, you know,” she said, a gleam in her eyes. “Historically, it was used to make this very expensive blue paint…” 

“Ah—ultramarine, right?” 

“Exactly!” Tanimoto-san said, clapping her hands in excitement. “Seems like you’re already an expert on it, Seigi-kun.” 

“I just heard it in passing,” I explained sheepishly. “That customer from before—he and my boss talked about ultramarine for a bit.” I paused to recollect the various times I’d spotted the stone in Jewelry Étranger. “Though, the stone looks so unbelievable to me on its own that it feels strange to think it would ever be used for paint…”  

“It is one of the beauties of metamorphism,” Tanimoto-san agreed. Or at least, I was assuming she was. 

“Sorry, but… what exactly is metamorphism again?” I asked. “I feel like I’ve heard the term before, and I just don’t remember.” 

Despite the various expressions I’d put on her face today and in all the other conversations we’d had, this was the first time I’d ever seen Tanimoto-san look truly dumbfounded. It took me a while to even realize that was the expression on her face, until she cleared her throat and said, “I guess you said yourself you didn’t know much about rocks, but… well, I thought this was common knowledge, and maybe it… isn’t?” Worriedly, like she’d just learned she was privy to a secret for which she hadn’t voluntarily been made a confidant, she asked, “I mean, everyone knows that the three common classifications of rocks are sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic, right?”  

“…That rings a bell?” I said unconvincingly. 

Her eyes flickered towards the classroom—she had only a few minutes before her next class started, so I imagined she would head inside, but instead she squared her shoulders, formed a distinctly “Golgo” look on her face, and said, “Well—metamorphic rocks are basically a type of rock that’s actually a combination of other rocks and minerals. So that’s how lapis lazuli has that beautiful gold coloring—it comes from the pyrite that’s part of the rock. The main blue comes from lazurite, but there’s many more mineral components that are mixed in with an average lapis lazuli.” 

“And metamorphism is how these rocks form?” 

“Right,” Tanimoto-san said. “Basically, they’re put under a lot of heat and pressure, and because of that, the composition of the rock ends up changing—so, for lapis lazuli, all these separate things fuse—or the crystal structure shifts, which is a kind of complicated thing to explain… But by the end, the new rock is distinct when compared to the simple sum of its parts. Something like marble or slate… you wouldn’t call simply a combination of other things, right?” 

“I would never have known unless you told me… that’s amazing,” I marveled. “In a way… it’s kind of nature’s own heat treatment, huh?” 

“That’s true,” Tanimoto-san said. “Just one without any motivation.”

This was something that had always fascinated me regarding jewels. Of course, it was untrue that they existed without human involvement. But before any human had laid eyes upon it, lapis lazuli had always been that brilliant combination of blue and gold. That, to me, was something like a miracle.

“You must have had an interesting customer this week, right?” Tanimoto-san guessed.

I shook myself out of my thoughts. “What?” 

“Well, Seigi-kun, you’re always curious,” she said, “So maybe it’s nothing. But this time you look like you really want to say something to someone.” She tapped the space between her brows. “Don’t let it give you wrinkles, though!” 

With that, she hurried into class, taking her seat just a few seconds before the professor began her lecture. I was left standing dumbly in the hallway, stuck with my swirling thoughts. Though I’d glossed over it at first, I supposed I was of the same mind as Tanimoto-san; dyeing stones felt more like concealment than enhancement. And then I remembered what I likely wasn’t meant to hear—surely that dyed agate is prettier—and reached up to my forehead.

Sure enough, I was frowning. I wanted to pull out my phone and text Richard something along the lines of This is your fault, but that would be truly nonsensical, and really, what I wanted wasn’t to assign something like blame. But since I couldn’t just run to him, I decided to follow Tanimoto-san’s advice and smooth out my expression. 

———

“Ah… Nakata-san?”

Richard had said that most serendipitous encounters were just a natural consequence of learning more about the world, but I was pretty sure this situation was the exclusive work of strange fortune. Though I doubted this surprise encounter would go as badly as the last one had, the sharp sense of déjà vu kept me wary.

Still, I inhaled a breath of crisp morning air, and replied, “It’s alright to call me Seigi.”

I was looking up at the face of Hanzawa Masato, who truthfully had been the furthest thing from my mind in the past few days. That space in my brain had been usurped and summarily overwhelmed by the tedium of classes and assignments. If I had to learn how to draw another kind of economic model using another set of conditions and parameters, my head was going to burst. In fact, my head ached at the thought alone.

Now that we were face to face again, though, the rigamarole of university had all but disappeared from my mind, and I watched his face contort into an expression halfway between awkwardness and concern. The awkwardness was a given—I hadn’t expected to run into him either. Half the reason for his concern was a girl from my university who I’d just learned was called Kaede. And the other half of his concern—a quarter of his total expression—was in response to seeing me, who’d just been shoved into the side of a building.

Maybe that was the reason my head ached. It was certainly the reason I was sitting down and staring up at him.

“Are you okay?” Kaede fretted. She had sunk into a worried crouch in front of me, hands hovering around my head like she could divine the nature of my injuries. 

I pressed a hand to my cheek, which was stinging, but didn’t feel scraped, and hauled myself upright. Any dizziness I’d felt had faded, and though one of my arms felt numb, I’d gotten worse injuries doing karate. “I’m fine,” I said. “It’s just a surface-level injury. Probably looks worse than it is. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine—not a scratch!” she reported, standing up to demonstrate her lack of injury. “I had no idea he would do that, though. I’m so sorry—” 

“Don’t be,” I cut in before she could self-flagellate. “It’s not your fault at all.” 

Were I feeling charitable, I’d point out that I didn’t think the guy in question had even meant to push me into a wall—he’d just meant to push me and bolt. But he was also the kind of asshole that cornered people against the side of a building, so I wasn’t going to defend him in the slightest. 

“What happened?” Hanzawa asked.

I felt a little ill-at-ease seeing the sheer expressiveness on his face. Of course, it made sense that he’d be so frazzled, considering what had just happened to his friend, but it was uncomfortable to see his lack of composure. Like this, he looked like an ordinary, unremarkable teenager.

Kaede wrung her hands, stumbling through her words. “I—you know that senior who was bothering me? Well, he cornered me, and we started arguing, and then”—she gestured in my direction—“he hit him and ran away.” 

“I heard shouting, so I came over here,” I added when Hanzawa looked to me for further explanation.

It was really as simple as that. After exiting a horrendously early class, I’d heard arguing near the shadowed side of the building. And once I’d seen Kaede telling the other guy to leave her alone, I’d intervened without hesitation. He’d started aggressively posturing at me before shoving me to the side and running away.

The sharp spike of adrenaline I’d felt at the time was now wearing off, and my injuries began to twinge. I took a deep breath, and in an effort not to dash after the guy, I suggested, “We should make a report or something.” 

“Oh, right,” Kaede said, fishing out her phone. “There’s like… campus administration or something, right? Let me find out wherever it’s located.” She paused in thought. “Wait… do you two know each other?” 

“We just met by coincidence once,” I said, figuring that Hanzawa would value his privacy.

It was enough of an answer for Kaede, who just laughed and said, “Masato-kun knows, like, everyone, so it’s not really a surprise!” 

I was relieved to see that she didn’t seem too shaken by everything.

Soon enough, we were pointed the way of campus authorities, and I learned the full story while Kaede made her report. Apparently, this guy had been bothering her for a while after they’d met at a mixer—he’d seen her waiting to meet up with Hanzawa, and then blown up at her when she declined to spend time with him. Since he already had quite a few conduct violations on his record, the administration assured us that they’d act quickly. 

Their urgency might have also been prompted by the blatant injury on my face. Every time someone turned to face me, they would reflexively wince at the circle of reddened skin on my cheek. I’d seen it in a mirror while getting my injuries checked out—I was officially deemed concussion-free, which was a relief—and had flinched at my own reflection in surprise.

Amidst the commotion, Hanzawa stayed level-headed, guiding Kaede through the motions of making a report. Even though he wasn’t a student at my university—a fact which was strangely relieving to confirm—it was like he’d gone through this process before. I thought he’d escort Kaede home, too, but once everything had been squared away, she called some of her university friends to pick her up. They arrived with a slew of inventive insults that seemed to cheer Kaede up in an instant. She thanked me again as we swapped numbers, and then she waved us goodbye as she was whisked away by her friends. 

“You’re not going with her?” I asked. 

“Her other friends will be much better at taking her mind off things,” he said. “Besides, they all go to your university, so they can accompany her during classes.” He turned to face me as he spoke, and though he didn’t wince, his gaze lingered on my cheek.

“I’m alright,” I said. “I even got an ice pack when we were making the report.”  

“Still…” Hanzawa said. Hesitantly, he asked, “Could I treat you to lunch? Or a coffee?” 

The sun was high in the sky. On one hand, I wasn’t particularly hungry, but coffee sounded nice, and I didn’t have classes until later this evening. On the other hand, Hanzawa looked like he was already regretting the offer.

But Tanimoto-san was right; I had a few things I wanted to say to him. And despite his hesitation, it looked like Hanzawa felt the same. 

“Sure,” I said. “You can pick the place.” 

———

Hanzawa’s coffee order was a little more complicated than mine. Hearing him rattle off his order made me realize that Richard was right to only offer tea at his shop. The café he’d picked out was like many of the other cafés I’d been to—peaceful, atmospheric, and a neutral ground for conversations. Once we’d taken our seats, we each waited in a brittle kind of silence.

Hanzawa began to fiddle with his phone, and I took it as a clear indication he wasn’t ready to talk. My coffee arrived first, so I savored it while gazing through one of the café windows. Outside, the weather had snapped into a bitter frost, as it seemed wont to do whenever I wasn’t looking. I shivered a little—even inside the temperature-regulated café, I’d dressed a little lightly for the cold—and let the coffee’s steam curl against my skin. Though I couldn’t call myself a connoisseur, I’d begun to appreciate coffee for more than its caffeine. 

It was just one more thing I’d learned how to treasure since I’d met Richard. Thinking of him, I reflexively touched my face. We weren’t anywhere near Ginza, but I could imagine the shop’s entrance in front of me as I stared out the window.

“Is there something you’re worried about?” 

I started, noting that Hanzawa’s coffee had appeared between his hands. He held the cup strangely, his fingers curled around the sides without any pressure; I worried that it might slip from his fingers if he tried to lift it. Still, the pose seemed so natural for him that I wondered if he’d held the tea at Jewelry Étranger the same way, and I just hadn’t noticed. Like that time, any initial hesitation of his had melted away into a self-assured grace.

“I was just thinking…” I replied, tapping my reddened skin, “it’s going to bruise.” 

“Ah,” Hanzawa said. His eyes darted around the room—he could probably sense the curious looks I’d gotten, too, but that wasn’t my main concern. “You’re worried about your weekend work, I assume?” 

“No, it’s—actually, yeah, I am,” I said, cutting off my instinctive denial. First Tanimoto-san, and now Hanzawa… I wondered if my face was just becoming easier to read. 

“I doubt a bruised face is good for customer service,” he added, clarifying exactly where my thoughts had headed.

I explained, “I’d rather not scare the customers, and it’s something I’ve done even without my face like this, so…”

“That would be troubling,” Hanzawa said. “I’d apologize for the situation, but…”

“There’s no need for apologies,” I stressed. “You and Kaede already thanked me, and there’s no need to apologize for someone else’s mistakes.”

Still holding the cup as if it were air, Hanzawa slowly sipped his coffee. My attention was drawn to his fingers, which were exceptionally long, and neatly trimmed at the nails. “I’m glad you think so, Seigi—it’s alright to call you that, yes?” When I nodded, he set his cup down and made a confession: “I’m not entirely without ulterior motives, though—it’s not every day you meet someone with your job, you know? I like hearing from interesting people, so this is just me indulging in my curiosity, really. What was the application process like?”

“Ah… I didn’t quite apply,” I answered. Maybe I’d just developed a streak of cynicism, but I didn’t believe that he had invited me to coffee out of pure curiosity. I briefly imagined someone taking my place—making tea, talking with Richard, and learning about our clients—and felt a wave a jealousy so strong that I added, “I don’t really think he’s looking to hire anyone new…” 

Hanzawa laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m just asking out of curiosity. I’m not looking for a job right now.”  

“Ah,” I said, and drank some of my coffee to cover my embarrassment. “Anyways, even when we first met, I don’t think he was looking to hire anyone.”

“Is that so?” Hanzawa asked, a clear prompt for me elaborate.

I had no desire to do so. Instead, I was distracted by the thought of Hanzawa as an employee of Jewelry Étranger. He seemed like he would excel at any job related to customer service, particularly when it came to making conversation. Even now, though I was conscious of the fact that he was leading the conversation, it didn’t bother me. But he wouldn’t know what sweets Richard liked best, or how to watch his expressions to figure out if he was enjoying them. And he wouldn’t know how to brew royal milk tea—not that I’d known that, either…

“I approached him about a family heirloom of mine, and he offered me a job afterwards,” I finally summed up.

Thankfully, Hanzawa didn’t pry any further. “I can see why,” he said. “Something about you must have been unique enough to convince him, right?” 

“…You think so?” I asked, ducking my head. It was amazing how one word—unique—was enough to dispel my worries. Saying I had a talent for recognizing beauty—that already made me feel like the most special person in the world. The implication that Richard recognizing that had been a testament to my uniqueness was unbelievably flustering. Rather than think about it for too long, I downed my coffee. 

“I just thought that if he wasn’t looking to hire someone,” Hanzawa said, “it means that you must have been important enough to ask for, anyways. The atmosphere at your store would make one think you two had been friends for years.” 

I felt warmer than usual. “I just… guess we aligned somehow,” I murmured, feeling a need to deflect the compliment. As much as I privately liked to think of our meeting as “fate,” hearing it from a veritable stranger was something else. “Richard is—he’s almost too incredible, I think. I’m lucky to work there.” 

Hanzawa considered my statement carefully, and then asked, “Is it—and I could be overstepping, here, but—is it kind of a… scary feeling?” 

“No, you’re right,” I said, feeling a euphoric rush of shared understanding. “It’s—I’m happy, of course. It’s impossible not to be. But it almost makes everything else pale in comparison—” 

“And you begin to wonder where you’d be without it,” Hanzawa concluded, perfectly reading my mind.

I sighed. “I mean… it’s not like this will be my job forever, you know? But still, compared to going to university, whenever it’s the weekend, I feel like I’m ten times as real. Like I exist as… I don’t know, more than I am.” 

“As in… you’re able to express yourself more?” Hanzawa asked. 

I shook my head. “No, it’s like… I’m a more impressive person, even though nothing about me changes,” I said. “It feels like my actions have more meaning. And my world keeps expanding, each time.” When he didn’t respond, still wrapping his head around my words, I added, “…It might be a bit strange to blabber on and on about my job satisfaction. But I really think that being able to work where I do is a miracle of some kind.” 

“I see what you mean,” he finally replied as he sipped his coffee. “In a way, Richard-san’s store feels like… a place that’s too good to be true, it could be said?” 

“That’s exactly it!” I exclaimed. “And then once you meet Richard, it’s like… he’s a fairy prince or something that’s descended on the mortal world…” 

Hanzawa fell into a sudden coughing fit. 

I scrambled out of my seat, but he weakly waved me off, and so I stood over the table, watching him regain control of his throat. “Are you alright?” 

He took a few deep breaths. “I’m fine,” he said, though he looked obviously embarrassed as he met my eyes. “I was just—taken off guard, I guess. You must really respect Richard-san. Have you… told him this?” 

With a new understanding as to why Kaede had so uselessly hovered around me, I slipped back into my own seat. “Well, of course,” I said slowly, wondering what I wasn’t getting. “I needed to express my gratitude to him.” 

Hanzawa stared up at the ceiling like he’d received some kind of divine revelation. “And he reacted… well?” he ventured. 

I suddenly remembered the many, many times Richard had scolded me for speaking without considering the implications, and I grimaced. “I’m not great with words, so I’ve definitely put my foot in my mouth a few times, but… sincerity is worth the embarrassment, I think,” I said, refraining from adding that I liked to think it was at least part of the reason he’d hired me. “And, though he’s annoyingly mysterious sometimes, he’s sincere to me, too.” 

“How nice…” It was impossible not to hear the wistful edge in Hanzawa’s voice. He seemed to hear it too, because he added, “Well, I do wish you two the best,” with a knowing smile. 

It wasn’t hard to pick up on the distance in his voice. Despite talking about Richard and the shop, Hanzawa hadn’t once mentioned his own visit or his upcoming appointment.

Before I could prod him about it, Hanzawa cleared his throat and asked, “You’ve finished your coffee?”

I looked down at my cup, which had been empty for quite a while. “Yeah,” I said, bracing for a quick goodbye.

A strange look passed over Hanzawa’s face as he drained his cup, and he set it down on the table with a soft clink. His gaze moved sideways—I followed his line of sight, but it led nowhere. “If—if the bruising is a problem,” Hanzawa haltingly began, “I could… I might have a solution.” 

The words looked painful for him to say. “You’re already treating me to coffee,” I assured. “There’s no need to do me another favor.” 

He shook his head, firmer. “This… as I said, this was kind of a selfish request, anyways. If you’re willing, I’d be happy to help.” 

I wasn’t about to turn down the chance to hear him talk. Maybe, if I gathered enough courage, I’d even be able to ask him about dyed stones. “Well… what did you have in mind?” 

———

Much like the first time I’d visited the jewelry section of a department store, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. This time, it wasn’t at the sight of diamonds as far as the eye could see, but of the bright lights, glossy photos, and shelves upon shelves of products I wasn’t sure how to name. I half-recognized some of the brand names scattered around the store, but otherwise felt wholly out of my depth. 

Were it not for the presence of a guide, I’d have never come here. But Hanzawa was shifting his feet next to me, a skittish look in his eyes like he was convinced I’d back out at any moment. That was the same way he’d broached the subject, too, saying, “Well… you could probably cover that bruise with makeup,” in a tone so soft I’d barely heard him.

“How?” I’d asked, pouncing on the option a little too eagerly. 

Hanzawa drummed his fingers against his empty cup. “It’s pretty easy,” he said. “I could teach you, but we’d have to buy some products, because we don’t have the same skin tone.” He mulled over his next words.

“There’s a department store near here,” I offered. 

At that, he seemed to relax. “My older sister is really into makeup and costuming,” he said with a light laugh, “so I ended up being forced into knowing a few things myself.”

Things moved quickly after that. He paid for my coffee, and I followed him to the nearest department store before he could have too many second thoughts. It wasn’t like I didn’t understand his hesitation—we were still practically strangers, and this was an offer that required considerable involvement on his part. Still, more than anything, I didn’t want to skip work. And as little as I knew Hanzawa, he seemed like the kind of person who would never suggest something that wasn’t an actual solution. 

“You’ll have to lead the way,” I finally prompted.

Hanzawa paused and corrected his posture. “Right,” he said, picked up a basket near the entrance, and then struck a path through the various displays, waving off staff with a polite, inscrutable smile. 

For all he’d been hesitant, Hanzawa navigated the store with a brilliant kind of confidence. Apart from the two of us, there were barely any men in the store, but Hanzawa didn’t look out of place in the slightest. Soon enough we were left to wander around unapproached. 

Finally, we came to a stop in front of a display that carried a variety of tubes in a variety of skin tones. Hanzawa leaned forward to inspect them, and I caught sight of the barely visible piercing holes in his ears.

“You’re not wearing earrings,” I observed. 

He answered me without turning his head. “I suppose it’s a leftover habit from high school,” he said thoughtfully. “I didn’t wear them in class, because—well, it’s a bit of a delinquent look, and I was the president of the disciplinary club.”

That explained why he’d been so composed when helping Kaede earlier. I wonder if he’d acquired that sense of reliability from his time in the club, or if had been the reason he’d joined. “What… am I supposed to get, here?” I asked, pointing at the display.

“To cover your bruise, we’ll need concealer, foundation, and a setting spray, probably? So right now, we’re looking for foundations that match your skin tone. What color do you usually bruise?” 

“…Purple, I guess?” 

“Then we’ll get a yellow color corrector to offset it,” Hanzawa said, plucking a foundation from the shelf. He held it up to the light—the color was kind of close to my skin, I supposed, but there were a lot that looked just like it. 

“How are you supposed to figure out the right color?” I asked. 

“Oh—you can sample it,” Hanzawa said, and he motioned for me to hold my hand out. We swatched various foundations on the back of my hand as Hanzawa explained to me the basic methodology for covering a bruise. The color corrector would negate the purple hues of my bruise, concealer would properly cover it up with my actual skin tone, and foundation would provide a smooth cover that blended with the rest of my face. The setting spray was just to make sure everything held for the entire time I was working. “You’ll probably want makeup brushes, too,” Hanzawa said as he explained how to apply everything. “We can buy some, or I could maybe lend you mine…” 

I could see him trying to work out how to lend me makeup brushes in a way that wouldn’t require an additional meeting. “No, I’ll get one of my own,” I said. 

“You sure?” he asked. 

I nodded. “It’s kind of weird to say this, but… somehow, I feel like this may not be the last time I need something like this?” 

Satisfied with the last foundation we’d tried, Hanzawa showed me how to remove all the makeup on my hand before leading me to another display. There he found a standard set of makeup brushes and gingerly placed it into his basket. “Well, I suppose you do lead quite an exciting life,” he commented. 

“This is the first time I’ve gotten injured,” I said. “But there are a lot of interesting people at Richard’s shop, so I guess I do end up having interesting experiences.” I paused. Like this, actually, I didn’t say, and instead asked, “You mentioned your older sister taught you this?” 

“It’s not really that I was taught,” Hanzawa clarified. “It was more like… a natural consequence of existing around her? I ended up knowing a lot of the terminology, and I’d get dragged to places like these, too. At that point, you have to at least learn the basics.” 

I’d never had a sibling before, so I wondered if it was natural for everyone to pick up skills from their family like this. With my mother, we’d always maintained a certain sense of distance, and with my stepfather overseas, the only one who could maybe qualify as family was Richard. Who I had, indeed, learned a lot from. “And you learned more on your own, afterwards?” 

“Well, at my high school, our cultural festival holds a cross-dressing competition each year—it was an all-boys school, hence the tradition—and I ended up learning a bit more because of that. One of my classmates actually attends cosmetology school, now, which is where I learned how to do this.” He gestured in the direction of my reddened cheek. 

I reached up on instinct, suddenly conscious of the fact that I was walking around with such an obvious injury. I’d attributed the stares of passerby to the fact that I looked out of place in a makeup store, but this was probably the real reason.

Hanzawa studied my face, and his tone gentled. “It’s been a valuable skill to me,” he murmured. “Makeup gives us the ability to beautify.” 

Hand still pressed against my cheek, I confessed, “I’d never really thought of it that way, before. Though I don’t really know anything, really. But I’d always thought of it as… having something to hide, I guess.” I felt like a fool as soon as the words left my mouth.

“Well,” Hanzawa said, still low and quiet, “I suppose we are aiming to hide that bruise of yours. But there is value even in concealment, I think.” A wry smile graced his mouth. “Speaking of.” 

We’d lingered for too long in one place, and so we moved to collect a bottle of setting spray and a pale-yellow color corrector before stopping to search through a row of concealers. As we compared various shades on my hand, I recalled the conversation I’d had with Richard about tiramisu.

“…Don’t people also value the truth, though?” I asked. 

The shade Hanzawa had tested was far darker than it had looked in the tube. He paused over my hand, and without lifting his head, said, “Perhaps I’m being cynical… but I think most people only value the truth when it is beautiful.” He paused to dab a different concealer on my hand. “I don’t think you’re wrong—people do value authenticity. That’s exactly why so many makeup advertisements discuss how to achieve a natural look, or how to enhance your natural features by smoothing out ‘imperfections’… we’ve defined a kind of beauty that is meant to emulate reality, but that doesn’t mean it is reality.”

Though I couldn’t see his expression, I could hear the raw sincerity in his voice. Something clicked into place, and I realized that for Hanzawa, enhancement was the same as concealment.

“The kinds of beauty we recognize are usually just skin-deep, huh…” I said, echoing the conversation I’d had with Tanimoto-san.

“And everyone prefers to be beautiful,” Hanzawa said.

Yamamoto-san, too, had thought that beauty was a great advantage. “Doesn’t beauty come with its own disadvantages, though?” I asked. At Hanzawa’s curious look, I paraphrased how Richard had described his own experiences. “Like, if you’re so beautiful that people think you’re unapproachable, isn’t that hard?”

“I suppose so,” Hanzawa said. “You’re talking about a kind of… unreal beauty, right? Like your boss.”

“Ah… was it obvious?”

Hanzawa smiled. “A little.” He hummed for a bit in thought, and then said, “In either direction, I think there’s a fear of… standing out, or looking odd. That’s why we’re here. Though I suppose there might be some people who have enough pride to eschew standards.”

The shade he’d just tried was a perfect match. “When you put it that way… there’s definitely times I don’t want to say everything about myself,” I conceded, remembering how I’d felt when confronted by Mami-san’s deep, uncomfortable sense of shame. “Having that kind of pride is… an ideal, but just that.” As much as Richard liked to ask if I had ever decided to think before I spoke, I, too, had things I found hard to say. 

“That’s everything, I think,” Hanzawa said, adding the concealer to the basket. “I’ve got makeup wipes with me, so you can just have them. Since we’re here, though, do you mind if I make a quick detour?” 

“Go ahead,” I said, and Hanzawa drifted through the store at a leisurely pace, inspecting different products. I took the time to observe the various advertisements pasted around the store, noting that Hanzawa’s description hadn’t been incorrect. Then I observed the array of colors scattered around the store as Hanzawa inspected different kinds of eyeshadow. “I guess blue is rare here, too.” 

“Hm?” 

“I was just reminded of ultramarine,” I said, pointing towards the overwhelming set of pinks and reds in a collection of lipsticks. “It was prized not just because the stone was precious, but because blue was a rare pigment color, right?”

“…Lapis lazuli sure was a precious stone,” Hanzawa replied. “In addition to blue’s rarity, I’d think it would be hard to collect pieces without significant gold spots. When ground into pigment, those colors would muddy the blue. If one needed to source pure blue lapis lazuli for ultramarine, that would only further increase its rarity and value.” 

 “Wait, are you majoring in economics?” I blurted out, a little bewildered by the clarity of his explanation.

Distracted from his inspection of an eyeshadow palette, Hanzawa turned to squint at me, bemused. “No, I’m not,” he said. “Are you?”

“I am, yeah.” I floundered, wondering how to explain that for just a moment, Hanzawa had reminded me of Richard. Maybe he was training to be a diplomat—that would explain why even when he spoke casually, every word felt measured. He was certainly better at speaking than me, who couldn’t figure out how to casually ask him what he was actually majoring in.

At my lost expression, Hanzawa laughed and went back to searching through eyeshadows. “…You actually remind me of someone I know.”

“How so?” 

“A few things, I think,” Hanzawa said. “You’re both… open to many new experiences.” Though the fondness in his voice was palpable, it was deeply careful, like he was letting me know the shades of some terrible secret.

“You don’t find them exciting?” 

“And equally likely to be hurtful,” he rebutted, though not aggressively. 

Hanzawa took my answering silence as agreement—which it partially was—and continued looking around the store. Conscious of the time we’d spent wandering, he explained, “The color I’m looking for is uncommon. Eyeshadows have more variety than lipsticks do, but the majority stay within the range of pinks to browns.”

“Even though it’s not a problem to make blue pigment anymore, it’s still a matter of supply and demand, isn’t it?” I surmised. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone wear blue lipstick.”

“The kind of people that do are amazing to me,” Hanzawa said. “Whether it’s simply a matter of liking it or wanting to be deviant from the norm—I think there’s a great strength in accepting oneself as anomalous.”

Finally, he picked out a sparkly lime green eyeshadow, and after holding the color up to the light, tucked it into his basket. It was no wonder he’d spent so much time searching—while accompanying him, I hadn’t seen a single product that looked like it.

“You really are fond of that color,” I noted. 

Hanzawa froze for a moment. “It’s for—the cultural festival, actually,” he explained. “I’m helping them out.” 

“Oh, I do something like that too—it’s with the karate class I used to attend back in middle school, though,” I shared. “You must be close with your juniors?” 

As we entered the checkout line, Hanzawa said, “I think it’s something like a leftover sense of responsibility. That guy… we used to be in the same club.” 

Before I could ask him what that guy meant, our attention was redirected to the cashier in front of us. She looked surprised to see two men in front of her, but quickly began scanning the items before her. “Picking up products for your girlfriends?” she asked with a smile, clearly hoping to ease our nerves. 

Hanzawa stepped forward, partially obscuring my view. “It’s for my older sister, actually,” he replied, the same smile mirrored on his face. “I just hope I’ve gotten it right!” 

Caught up in his mild, inconsequential lie, I stood there, hands hung limply at my side, as I realized that apart from her initial shock, she hadn’t once glanced at my cheek. To be accurate, Hanzawa hadn’t let her. This was probably what he’d meant by the value of concealment. It was like when Richard had pretended not to speak Japanese at that department store. While it wasn’t the truth, it was the option that limited any unwanted misunderstandings.

…Was it really because of his older sister that he’d learned how to do makeup? Or was that just the easiest explanation?

We exited the store with our purchases, and I handed over the eyeshadow to Hanzawa. He slipped it into his messenger bag, and in return, produced a pack of makeup wipes for me to take. “If you forget what to do, there’s a bunch of tutorials online,” Hanzawa reassured, gesturing to my bag of makeup.

“Thanks for the help,” I said. “I had a nice time, too—I feel like I got to hear from an interesting person, as well.”

“Don’t think too much of it—I was really just rambling,” he said dismissively before offering me a tight smile. “I do hope work goes well for you this weekend.” 

“…You’ll know, won’t you?” I asked, summoning a bit of courage. “Since you’ll be there.” 

“Ah,” Hanzawa said, and stilled before giving his confirmation. “…Yes, I will.” 

With that promise exacted from him, we naturally said our goodbyes and parted at a nearby street. The early morning chill had faded somewhat under the sun, and as I made my way back to campus, I thought about the many ways Richard’s face might change upon seeing Hanzawa arrive at his appointment. He wouldn’t give me a raise, but I’d get something out of it, nonetheless.

[mk-writes-stuff]

OC Deep Dive

Rules: answer the questions for an OC

Thanks @illarian-rambling for the tag! I’ve been debating on who to answer this for for a while but I think I’m going to do it for Cassie. One of her big scenes is coming up and I want to work with her a bit more

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Cassie’s primary fear is that someone will pick her out as a clone (which I think is pretty uncommon though understandable). She’d do anything to avoid getting caught

Do they have any pet peeves?

Belladonna

In all seriousness though, her biggest pet peeve is people with sticks up their asses who take stupid things too seriously but can’t bother to see the big-picture issues. So, Belladonna, although she’s getting better

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Cassie doesn’t have much in her bedroom since she doesn’t own much. She has spare clothes, a spare eye patch, and the odds and ends she’s tinkering with for her new hand in there

What do they notice first in a person?

How dangerous they might be. Like whether they’re being threatening (or just being a noble)

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

10/10. Cassie chopped her own arm off in a door on purpose and kept going on her escape attempt. She has nerves of steel

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (or freeze and fawn)

Fight. You put too much pressure on Cassie, you will get punched

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

No and no. Cassie considers herself as having no bio family - Cassiopeia clones are kept isolated enough that they can’t really form familial bonds, so Cassie doesn’t consider them her sisters, or the Stellaris clones her brothers. She has no real interest in forming familial bonds either, although she has a close friendship with Nellie

What animal represents them best?

Cassie gives me feral cat vibes. She will scratch you

What is a smell that they dislike?

Blood. She’s not squeamish per se, but it reminds her of Sixth Station

Have they broken any bones?

I actually haven’t thought about it. I’m sure she’s broken ribs once or twice, probably not much else (assuming you don’t count her chopping her arm off)

How would a stranger likely describe them?

“Yeah, I met this girl today. I think she’s the bodyguard for one of the nobles? Super buff, could absolutely break me in half. Gorgeous hair although she doesn’t look like she takes care of it, I wanted to sit her down and brush it for her. I think she must’ve been in one of those power depot disasters a few years back, because she’s missing an eye and an arm - and I didn’t think ‘metal arm’ would be my type, but I think she might’ve changed my mind. I got her number, though, so here’s hoping.”

This is from the POV of a background character named Leila who Cassie flirts with in book 1

Are they a night owl or an early bird?

She gives off night owl hates-getting-up vibes but she’s actually an early bird. She likes getting up to get a workout in before she starts her day

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

Cassie hates nutrient cubes, although whether “cardboard” is a flavor could definitely be debated. One of her all-time favourite flavours is blueberry

Do they have any hobbies?

She doesn’t have a ton of time because she works a job with long hours, but she likes working out. She also enjoys watching trashy sitcoms

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

I think she’d honestly be flattered. She’d get startled, but I doubt she’d actually go as far as punching any of her friends, and she’d like the party, although I think she’d be confused as to how they know her birthday, because she just kind of picked one at random for her ID and honestly doesn’t remember what it is

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Nope. It’s expensive and not her style

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Cassie is illiterate :)

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Annoyance and glee. She’s so tired of nobles and their bullshit but she can’t help but be delighted at the trappings of being rich

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Probably cotton. It’s nice and comfy and breathable

What kind of accent do they have?

I am terrible at accents. I genuinely do not know. I’d love to know how y’all interpret Cassie’s accent if you have an idea

This was a fun game! I love obscure OC questions, they always make me think :)

@ominous-feychild @autism-purgatory @somethingclevermahogony would y’all like to play? Blanks are below the cut

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Do they have any pet peeves? What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? What do they notice first in a person? On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (or freeze and fawn) Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? What animal represents them best? What is a smell that they dislike? Have they broken any bones? How would a stranger likely describe them? Are they a night owl or an early bird? What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love? Do they have any hobbies? Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Do they like to wear jewelry? Do they have neat or messy handwriting? What are the two emotions they feel the most? Do they have a favourite fabric? What kind of accent do they have?