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beyscape · 5 years ago

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The Intern - 2

Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: Being Andy’s intern meant you got to spend more time by his side more than anyone. This was fine, however, until feelings got in the way and made things complicated

Word Count: 2.4k (can you tell I get carried away? ‘cause I get carried away)

Warnings: Age gap, technically cheating, swearing and stuff, mention of rape

A/N Contains spoilers from episodes 1-4.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Andrew Stephen Barber was a good man by all means. A good citizen, a good father, an exceptional defense attorney, trying his best to be a good husband, Andy Barber believed he was a good man. Standing in the line to grab a cup of coffee, however, made him question his entire belief system. He had tried to ignore the hushed whispers, the pointed looks, the way whenever he entered a room it would all go very silent for a second; he had told Jake and Laurie to ignore them, that they didn’t know anything. That that’s what people do, gossip. He was now really understanding how hard it was to simply ignore when people were so blatant with their gossiping. With their cold stares.

He never had friends, not proper ones where he could grab a beer with after work or talk to them about whatever was going on in his mind. He thought he did, but these past couple of weeks proved how much of his supposed friends were mere acquaintances. It never bothered him anyways, he never felt the particular need for that sort of closeness in his life. He was used to being alone, that’s how he had grown up, not needing anyone and learning how to survive on his own. He had his son and his wife, though latter feeling as far away as any stranger would at that point. They simply had stuff to take care of together, Andy could feel that Laurie was itching to finally get away once the dust settled. So, when the inevitable papers arrived finally, Andy would be left to his devices one more time..

But then again, there was you.

His gaze turned to you, watching your movements as you waited in the passenger seat of his car, your head laying against the window. He watched you fiddle with the ends of your hair, clearly lost in thought, and it took everything in him to not smile. Poker faces, Joanne had said to them, they had to keep their cool and not lose their composure, not with so many eyes around them. Waiting to catch a mistake, a single slip of the tongue, the smallest of gestures.

He thanked the barista quietly after grabbing the two paper cups of the coffee placed in front of him, pushing the glass doors with his feet as best as he could without sending the cups in his hands flying. No one in the relatively packed coffee shop made a move to help him. He hadn’t expected them to anyways.

His movement grabbed your attention at last as he made his way towards the black car parked towards the back of the lot, a smile spread on your lips then. It was the same one you gave him when he wasn’t looking, that shy, small smile seemingly lighting up your face with adoration. This time it wasn’t when he was unaware though, and even that thought was a whole another thing to make you happy even amidst everything going on. This time Andy couldn’t help it as a smile matching yours very closely appeared on his face as well upon seeing the look you gave him.

Many things in Andy Barber’s life was royally fucked up and it had been for some time now, but a tiny voice in his head quipped up to remind him that not everything was bad, not the young woman smiling up at him. Andy felt a surge of gratefulness fill his chest.

That night at the park he had acted on his impulses, he tried to chalk it up to him being tired, confused, what with everything going on. You were a friendly face he had stumbled upon on a night filled with desperation. His excuses didn’t last however and when he woke up the next morning, Andy knew he had to stop lying to himself. He tried to deny the fact that he had been wanting to kiss you for some time now, to hold you close but he had kept it all locked away in the deepest corner of his heart in the name of being professional. That, and he wanted to protect you. He knew any move on his part could very possibly lead to a mess of problems with his family and even more so with your work. Andy was well aware of how much you loved your job and the career plans you had told him that one night, and he couldn’t dismiss all of that just because he couldn’t keep his feelings under control.

That night at the park however, was the night where he decided he was done with keeping his feelings under control. He could do it in a courtroom in front of a judge, he could do it with the people of his once loved town scrutinizing his every move, he could do it under the cold stare of his wife, but not you. Not anymore.

So, under the dim light of the street lamp above and the shadows covering everywhere the light didn’t touch that one late night, he had kissed you. And even more surprisingly, didn’t regret it one bit. Not the way he thought he would have. If he had known before how easy it was to kiss you time after time in that cold night, Andy was sure he would have done it way earlier.

“Hi.” You said as you carefully grabbed your cup out of his hands, your eyes meeting his while your fingertips slightly grazed each other for a split second. You wished to reach over the seat, to get closer, you had waited enough for this moment, and he was so close, looking at you with that same deep softness in his eyes- you let out a shaky breath.

You had met the next day after the park, knowing damn well there was a lot to discuss. After kissing you, resting his forehead against yours and holding you close for a moment that felt too short, Andy had told you to go home and get some rest. He had insisted on dropping you off at the house you lived with your friend, the ten-minute car drive filled with silence save for the quiet tunes of the radio. He had placed the gentlest of kisses on your lips before giving you a tired smile, and only driving off once he saw you safely go in. It was another restless night with no way of sleep, but for the first time in a while, it was because of something good.

Finding an empty corner of the park was easy, even in the daylight the park didn’t host many visitors during that time of the year. You both were awkward at first, acting like high school lovers unsure of what to do or say to one another. After minutes of hushed conversation and reckless, stolen kisses you had come to a decision about keeping things extremely low-key. You and Andy were well aware that even though whatever this was between you was exciting and new, the top priority was defending Jacob and making sure he got his innocence proven. So, you had to keep things seemingly strictly professional, not allowing space for even the smallest of rumours.

It hadn’t been easy however, both desperate to see each other as soon as possible. Thus, here you were, sitting in his car drinking mediocre coffee, trying to avoid prying eyes.

“Hi yourself.” The twinkle in his eyes seemed to return in the past week, maybe not entirely but he was getting there. You talked about the case for a while, discussing other possible suspects and who could have done such a thing, when the fat droplets of rain started to fall and roll down the front window.

“Y/N, I want to tell you something.” The tone of his voice made you look at him carefully, you noted how his burrows were not furrowed with his lips cursed in a small scowl.

“You know you can tell me anything, Andy.” You replied, meaning every word. He sighed at that, clearly struggling with how to start.

“I never told this to anyone, and only told Laurie and Jacob vert recently because they had to know. My father, you see,” he trailed off, blowing on his still steaming coffee a little before taking a careful sip, doing everything he could do delay what he was about to tell you. He was scared of you hating him or being afraid of him or even worse, pitying him once he revealed his darkest of secrets, but he knew that sooner or later it would come up in the case. He thought at least he could be the first one to let you in on the skeletons he had deep in his closet. He sighed again, his gaze following the rain droplets, he couldn’t bring himself to face you in that moment.

“He wasn’t a good man. When I was about five years old, he raped and murdered a college girl, she was barely nineteen. I, I struggled with that throughout my entire childhood even though I didn’t exactly understand what was going on. And when I was old enough to get it, it didn’t make things easier. It fucked me up and still, after almost forty years, the whole thing still haunts me. Haunts my thoughts, my dreams, and now with Jake’s case it all came rushing back. Like the dam I had built to keep it repressed broke suddenly and all of it just, flooded right in.” There it was. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid of the reaction you would give, Andy wasn’t sure how he would take it if you acted the way Laurie had when she found out. He instantly regretted that he even made that comparison however when he felt your warm hand wrap up his, not quite being able to cover it all. He raised his eyes to yours.

“You are not alone anymore, Andy. Thank you for sharing this with me, and please know that from now on, you’ve got me in your corner. You no longer need to pretend everything’s just great; you have me. Talk to me, and we will get through it, okay? No matter what.” One hand wrapped around his big one, you placed another hand on his thigh, all you could do in that moment to reassure him that everything was fine.

He felt it again, that rush of warmth spreading in him as he stared at you in disbelief. How had you known those were the exact words he was internally dying to hear? His gaze traced your face, your eyes burning bright with determination, your lips, those beautiful lips he craved oh so much giving him a reassuring smile. He ran a ginger hand over the hair falling down your face, barely touching, hesitant to go too far that he couldn’t hold back. Painstakingly he had to remind himself that you were still in a public parking lot, where it was so easy to get caught even with the pouring rain outside of the car as he drew his hand back, resting it on top of yours, hidden completely from the view.

“I have to go see him in prison, and I don’t know if I can do it.” He confided in you, finding it so easy to talk about whatever was bothering him, scaring him… He had never had that kind of a connection before, not even with Laurie.

“Do you want me to come with you?” You didn’t think about the technicalities. You didn’t think about why that was probably a bad idea, there could be press around, how would you get the time off, what if people saw you and many more reasons why you shouldn’t didn’t even cross your mind for all you could focus on at that moment was how small Andy had looked when he uttered those words to you. This man with broad shoulders, well-built physique who commanded whatever room he entered had looked so small in that moment. Your eyes never left his, worried that if you broke the gaze the whole moment would shatter all around you. He nodded once. Twice.

“I would like that.” He looked around, his eyes scanning the surroundings for people, but the rain that had picked up its speed was acting as a curtain drawn between you and the rest of the world.

Satisfied with what he saw, Andy turned back to face you, cupping the sides of your face between his big hands. He leaned in without any hesitation holding him back, he had been waiting for an opportunity like this and heaven knows you were in the same position as him. Your lips met in the middle and immediately sent tingles down your spine, the gentleness of the kiss conveying so many words between. The kiss was different from the heated, passion filled ones at the park that night, and different from the secretive, exciting ones of the day after. No, this kiss was sweeter than them, so sweet you thought you could get drunk off of Andy’s lips, both of his hands still cupping your cheeks.

It was over in a moment, not satisfying the need as you hoped it would, instead it seemed to make your craving even harder to ignore.

You knew you would have to leave soon, before Neal started questioning why your coffee run had taken so long and Andy would have to go back to his house, trying to fend off the occasional reporters still waiting around his house to get one more statement from him. You both were uncomfortably aware of the pressing issues in your life, almost working together on purpose to keep you apart after a year of pining and dreaming.

“Soon”, Andy reassured you after placing kiss after kiss to your lips, to the corner of your mouth, on top of your nose. “Soon, this whole thing will blow out and we will be free to do whatever we want.”

“Together,” you kissed the palm of his hand still resting on your cheek, not wanting to let go, “we will figure it out together.”

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I had to get this in writing before sleep so guess who went to bed at 5 a.m? I wanted to wait and watch episode 5 before writing some of the more important scenes, so here have whatever this is. My inbox is open for requests, asks, feedback or just to talk about Chris!

#andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #andy barber x y/n #andy barber fanfiction #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #Chris Evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #andy barber imagine

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deus-ex-knoxina · 5 years ago

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au where andrew and aaron are wymack’s sons

okay tilda USED to be less of a disaster

like in canon, wymack doesn’t know he has kids. he and tilda split up only a few weeks after she got pregnant, so he was long gone by the time she even knew. it’s not like they were exclusive, either. while it’s a gut punch to learn andrew and aaron’s last name, and what happened to their mother, he figures they can’t be his.

of course, andrew and aaron don’t know either. but you know who does? riko, and by extension kevin

riko’s goal in recruiting andrew is a lot more specific now. instead of just ��get a really good goalkeeper with a reputation’, it’s ‘get the really good goalkeeper with a reputation so he doesn’t sign with the foxes’.

of course, knowing wymack was their father would probably make the twinyards less inclined to sign with him, not more, but riko doesn’t know that. he doesn’t know them very well at all, and andrew has decided to keep it that way

(riko’s fatal mistake, again, is not recruiting aaron as well. if he had tried, then maybe andrew would have agreed-- or not. if he had tried to recruit nicky too, he probably would have stood a decent chance.)

wymack recruits andrew, aaron, and nicky, with absolutely no idea that he’s related to them, and they accept. riko gnashes his teeth.

he does so even more once they play the foxes that year. the ravens win, of course they do, but andrew aims shots at riko’s head, when he can. just a little reminder to that thick skull that andrew minyard personally dislikes him (as opposed to the general apathy he treats the rest of the population with)

when kevin runs to the foxes after the winter banquet, it’s not because wymack is his dad, because he’s not. it’s because wymack managed to snatch the minyards right out from under riko’s nose and keep them away from him, and if he can do that, then maybe he can keep kevin safe too

(he does. wymack wouldn’t be able to bear otherwise.)

and for a while, that’s how it stays. for a long time, actually. the year goes on. neil gets recruited, and the foxes’ futures start to look up. seth dies and andrew gets sent to easthaven and they look down again, and neil goes to evermore for winter break, and riko does not reveal anything. he bides his time.

(when wymack comes to get neil from the airport, neil is struck by how big wymack is. he’s not that tall-- he’s not short, but kevin and nicky and matt are all taller than him-- but he’s strong and sturdy.)

kevin, who knows the secret about wymack and the twins, has already catalogued all the similarities he can find between them. he’s had a lot of time to do so.

the reveal doesn’t happen until the final game. riko waits until he’s close enough to andrew to score, then right as he’s lining up his shot, he says, ‘you know, i was surprised when you signed with daddy dearest over there.’

andrew doesn’t dignify that with a response. if riko wants to play mind games, he can do so by himself. he does do his best to aim the ball at riko’s ankle. it ricochets off the wall, though, because riko is one of the few players good enough that andrew actually has to try to control the ball around him.

riko figures maybe he didn’t get through to andrew, or maybe andrew’s just obtuse, so that’s what he starts with next time he’s within earshot. ‘oh, didn’t you know wymack’s your dad? how does he feel about that car crash of yours?’

andrew grits his teeth, but he stays the course. he doesn’t need riko yelling about family history to aaron next, because aaron might hit him and then who knows what’ll happen. they can’t afford to lose a player.

that surprises him-- because what does he care how the game ends? but it matters, because to take riko out, they need to beat him at his own game, literally.

andrew does pick up on riko saying something to kevin before the next serve, and kevin stealing worried looks at andrew for the next five minutes.

well, then.

they make it through the game. andrew hisses at the other foxes to keep riko away from aaron, and for once, they don’t ask questions.

and they win.

andrew breaks riko’s arm, and then he says, calmly like he hasn’t spent the past twenty minutes contemplating it, ‘hm, at least my dad wants me.’ because he doesn’t know if riko is telling the truth (and he plans to find out from kevin), but he does know it would be an absolutely devastating comment, and andrew is all in favor of those.

and he also knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that wymack wants him, at least on the foxes if not in wymack’s personal life. wymack signed him and has dealt with all his shit and has bought him expensive whiskey in exchange for playing like he means it. wymack wants him around, which is more than riko can say about his father.

when they get off the court, andrew lets neil lean on him, but he finds kevin and asks, ‘what did he say to you?’

kevin looks at neil, exhausted but alert, and then at aaron over by the vixens, and then at wymack, and then finally back at andrew, and andrew has his answer. ‘so it’s true.’ and kevin nods.

and andrew decides he’s going to deal with that later. right now, he’s tired, and he wants to talk to bee before doing anything, just to figure out what to do, and at the moment kevin needs to go away and andrew needs to find a place to sit down because his legs are tired and neil, for all his running at ass o’clock in the morning, is too exhausted to even ask prying questions.

so he turns and walks out of that conversation, and neil follows, and andrew feels ready to eat ice cream and play video games for a week without a single mention of exy.

he doesn’t need to tell kevin to keep aaron in the dark for now, he’s pretty sure. kevin wouldn’t do something so instigating without a kick in the ass, and with aaron staying with matt now, there are way fewer chances for it to just slip out.

he talks to bee, and he talks to neil, and their methods are incredibly different but their suggestions are, funnily enough, the same. neil would probably be mortified to hear that revelation so andrew is saving it for a rainy day.

so he follows their advice, and he tells aaron, and aaron kicks a chair over but then he just stares at andrew for a second and then goes into his room and slams the door behind him. sulking is fine. aaron sulks, and then he gets over it, or at least fit to be in public again. this is something andrew knows about him. and he waits, and eventually aaron texts him a simple ‘what are we going to do’

and that’s how they find themselves driving to wymack’s the next saturday, music blasting in the car, but isn’t it funny how andrew can still hear the silence between them?

they’re better than they used to be, which is how andrew knows that this silence is something they both need, to steel themselves for the conversation they’re about to have. he parks the car, and turns off the radio, and they sit there for at least a minute before aaron says, ‘no deals. we tell him and that’s it.’

‘that sounds like a deal,’ andrew points out, just to be a shit, and aaron rolls his eyes at him but says, ‘no new deals with wymack. we don’t need one. he’s already got our contracts and you’re off your meds.’ and andrew agrees.

they get out of the car together, and they walk up to wymack’s apartment together, and aaron knocks before andrew can get his keys out but honestly, now that he thinks about it, aaron’s probably right. wymack should know they’re here and make the decision to let them in.

he does, and he raises an eyebrow when he sees who it is, but he doesn’t comment on them knocking because maybe he can feel the heaviness in the air, and he closes the door behind them and says, ‘what?’

that’s something andrew appreciates about wymack. he’s direct. which is why andrew says, ‘so did you know you’re our father, or did tilda keep that a secret too?’

wymack’s face drains of color and aaron says, ‘andrew,’ but he leaves it at that.

they stay at wymack’s for a long time, and andrew nabs a bottle of whiskey before they go, just to make sure wymack knows that he’s still the same person. if he really cared he’d get a lock for his liquor cabinet.

when they’re in the car, before they leave, aaron says, ‘what do we say to the rest of the team?’

andrew honestly hadn’t considered that. bee and neil and aaron and wymack and kevin all know, which is already a lot of people. probably nicky will have to be told at some point, and so will abby. he’s going to tell renee at some point. does it matter if the others know?

he voices that aloud, and aaron says, ‘i don’t know, but wymack might appreciate not having to keep it a secret.’ and that’s true. so they decide, because they’re both assholes, to wait for dan’s next full team mandatory bonding night

(wymack, still up in his apartment, is upset. not because of what they told him but of what it means-- if tilda had just told him, or if they’d split up a few weeks later, then he could have taken the twins, he absolutely would have taken the twins, and he could have prevented so much of the darkness in their lives. and it hurts, too, to know that tilda herself was responsible for a lot of that darkness. but that’s not what happened. and he’s pragmatic. he’s tried to help them ever since they signed with him and he doesn’t know how much success he’s had but they are doing better now than they were. he can try to keep that going, and he will keep that going. they deserve that.)

the mandatory bonding night happens a week later, everything is going great, occasionally people are raising eyebrows at how long andrew is staying because usually he leaves as soon as possible but whatever, and then kevin gets up and says he’s going to bed and like they planned (the plan was to wait until right before the first person leaves, so they can get everyone at once and also scatter), aaron immediately goes hey, kevin, wait, one last thing

and kevin is very, very prepared for this to be something stupid and/or incomprehensible, but he waits, and aaron says, ‘i just thought you should know that since wymack’s me and andrew’s dad that means you’re not the only son of exy anymore’

there’s a two second pause while people register what he said and then everyone loses their SHIT. allison is shrieking, nicky is just running around the room from person to person yelling in their faces, neil is laughing his ass off, dan looks like she really isn’t sure whether to believe him or not, and matt’s just kinda catatonic

eventually, dan decides to believe them and let it go. she doesn’t know the details, but their relationships with each other, the team, and wymack have all improved over the last year. if she gets in their faces right now about being assholes (as much as she wants to do just that), all their progress might be ruined.

and then andrew (and aaron, once he catches on) spends an entire practice calling wymack ‘male ancestor’ and dan figures they’ll be alright

she’s proved right later on, as the twins don’t take that long to get used to the idea of someone who’s already proved he’s on their side over and over being a part of their crafted family. it’s unorthodox and andrew definitely continues to steal alcohol but wymack locks the liquor cabinet and gives him a copy of the key, which seems like a completely futile exercise but keys are important, and keys given by someone else are even more important.

#my posts #twinyards #david wymack #aftg

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scribbleb-red · 5 years ago

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Camisado (Your Emo Andreil AU)

[This started as a Morning AU on Twitter, warning: we're going very 00s]

Andrew and Neil meet in a chat room age 13.

Andrew's handle is @/phantom!attheopera

Neil's is @/isayshotgun

Andrew initially hangs around because he finds it hilarious how Neil roasts people he likes and trolls people he doesn't.

They also both have things in common - starting with but limited to their love of PATD and pretty much all emo music they can get their barely-teenage hands on. Andrew likes it a little heavier than Neil - but they both rave about Brendan Urie, Gerard Way and the Maddens.

They strike up a penpal style relationship - moving first from the chatroom to private messages, then the msn and email.

They confide in each other. Neil moves around a lot because 'my dad's a bad man, he's after me and my mom'.

Andrew tells him about Cass and Drake.

isayshotgun: he shdnt do dat 2 u

phantom!attheopera: i know

isayshotgun: id get u out

phantom!attheopera: how

isayshotgun: im gd w/ knives

phantom!attheopera: maybe you can teach me.

phantom!attheopera: and I'll teach you to spell, honestly.

isayshotgun: *eyeroll*

Neil doesn't come to get Andrew because Aaron happens first.

And then Andrew's in juvie and playing exy and the only way he can stay in touch with Neil is email. He shouldn't even be allowed email, but he's willing to get on his knees to have computer access, access to Neil.

Something about email makes their friendship even deeper.

Actually, Andrew's fairly certain that he's half way in love and that if they were different people they'd have already talked about this. Still, it's because of email that he notices something is wrong with Neil.

His emails, which were long and rambling, have suddenly become short - no less full of feeling and affection, but syntactically different.

He tries to ask about it.

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Subject: what's wrong with you?

Neil is cagey at first but Andrew gets it out of him in the end.

From: isayshotgun

To: phantom!attheopera

Re:Re:Re:Re:Subject: what's wrong with you?

Being shot really sucks. That's all. N

All Andrew wants to do then is cross the country, gather Neil close and keep him safe. They're fifteen now and he'll be leaving juvie next month.

"Can you keep safe until then?" Andrew types.

"U cant save me. We talked about this." Neil's reply is not what he wants to read.

Andrew's released to Tilda. He finds out his brother is hooked on painkillers and his birth mother is an abuser.

phantom!attheopera: she hits him. I need to stop her.

isayshotgun: ... ...

phantom!attheopera: what?

isayshotgun: is that weird? for moms 2 hit u?

phantom!attheopera: your mom hits you too?

isayshotgun: 2 teach me not 2 be stupid.

isayshotgun: keepin me alive

phantom!attheopera: that's not how it works, no one hits you for your own good. that's...

phantom!attheopera: my therapist calls it emotional abuse and controlling behaviours.

Neil ends up sharing a lot more than he was probably initially intending - about the one time a girl kissed him and he couldn't walk properly for a week; about the way his mom pinched him and made him recite their rules back; about how he wasn't allowed to be sick, ever.

phantom!attheopera: one of these days I'll find you and we'll run away together. We'll go anywhere you want. Settle somewhere safe.

isayshotgun: do u think ud like me irl?

phantom!attheopera: well I can't see your spelling if you're talking

isayshotgun: rofl lmao

Andrew tells Neil about Aaron.

phantom!attheopera: he's a total prick

isayshotgun: hv u tried talkin 2 him about smthing easy? like exy?

phantom!attheopera: just because you like stickball

isayshotgun: no i mean maybe u need a bridge 2 talk. common grnd.

phantom!attheopera: ...maybe

Neil is the one who gives him the idea about crashing the car with Tilda in it too. He sends Andrew all the instructions on a floppy disk that he posts to Andrew's therapist. On the front of the disk, Neil has scrawled their usernames. Andrew smiles.

Their relationship is a strange one - they are always there on the other end of the computer to each other, but they've never swapped photos and never heard each other's voices.

When Andrew gets a phone, he asks Neil if he has one and Neil says no, only his mom has a burner.

Still Andrew gives Neil his number and on his birthday, November 4th, he gets a call from a Seattle phonebox.

"Hey," Neil says. Andrew can hear him shivering, the chatter in his teeth.

"Happy Birthday, Drew."

They talk and talk. It's the best birthday Andrew's ever had.

Right up until the gunfire.

Neil vanishes.

There's no emails. No MSN messages. No highly irritating nudges. He's not in any of their usual chatrooms.

Andrew doesn't get another phone call.

Weeks go by. First one then another then another.

Andrew leaves messages. He sends emails. He really really hopes Neil isn't dead.

Aaron and Andrew go to live with Nicky.

They're approached by The Ravens. Andrew turns down the infamous Riko Moriyama and his absurdly pretty Number 2, Kevin Day.

David Wymack shows up. The deal extends to Aaron and Nicky if he wants it. Andrew says yes.

Sometimes Andrew thinks about Neil and tries to make an effort with Aaron, but Aaron is angry and a recovering addict and nothing Andrew says or does is ever enough. He still tries.

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Subject: 9 ways I'm trying to befriend my twin

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re: Subject: make that 11 ways

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re:Re:Re: Subject: none of these are working

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: Subject: you'd hate him too

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: Subject: ok fine, I don't hate him

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Subject: Happy New Year

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re: Subject: And Happy Birthday I guess

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Subject: I miss you

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Re: Subject: I still miss you

From: phantom!attheopera

To: isayshotgun

Subject: Panic! are play in Columbia next month !!!

From: isayshotgun

To: phantom!attheopera

Re: Subject: Panic! are play in Columbia next month !!!

got u a ticket c u there @ 7pm

Andrew blinks. He stares at his inbox. The 1 new message. Neil's username. Neil is alive. Neil is coming to Columbia. Neil is coming to a Panic! At The Disco gig. He bashes out a hasty message.

phantom!attheopera: Are you serious?

isayshotgun: yeh

The month vanishes under Andrew's feet. He's nervous. He's excited. Nicky is exuberant.

"My cousin has a date!"

"Not a date, Nicky."

Nicky just slides a knowing look his way and when Andrew takes the car keys, tells him to drive safe and stay out of fights. Andrew scoffs.

They haven't been talking much, Neil and Andrew.

But Neil promised that Andrew wouldn't be able to miss him.

Neil was telling the truth. He's standing there, a too-skinny teenager with badly cut hair flopping into his eyes, with a giant sign saying "phantom!attheopera".

Approaching, Andrew sees that Neil is gaunt, there's shadows under his eyes, which are blue as the sky on a clear, cold day.

"You ready to scream your crooked heart out?" Andrew asks.

Neil looks up with a slow smile. It wobbles as if his face is out of practice.

"Hey."

"Hi."

They will - in fact - scream their crooked hearts out that night. They will hold each other upright and throw themselves through the mosh pit, feeling the press of elation and anger and frustration and hope. Neil will trip a stranger who gets too close for Andrew's comfort. Andrew will deliberately spill a drink over a girl who won't stop eyeballing Neil with hearts in her eyes.

"My hero," Neil laughs. His laugh is rusty too.

Andrew wants to hear it again and again. He wants to hear it every fucking day for the rest of his stupid emo life.

When the music fades and the crowds disperse, Andrew and Neil are left in the carpark, sitting on the bonnet of Andrew's car.

He asks Neil where he's going tonight.

Neil shrugs.

He asks Neil if his mom is nearby but he already knows the answer. Mary Hatford is dead.

They don't leave for hours. Neil explains everything that night - who his dad is, what he's running from. Andrew doesn't care.

When they're both cold, they sit in the car and turn the heating up. Andrew offers his hand to Neil and Neil curls their fingers together.

Neil is tired. Neil is so so so tired.

"Come home with me." Andrew says. "Stay."

Neil slumps against the seats, his head tilted so Andrew can see every sharp angle of his face. There's no fight, no bargaining.

Just a sweet, fluttering feeling neither of them know to call hope.

The end.

#morning AU #Andreil #emo #emokids #00s aesthetic #andrew minyard #neil josten #aftg #panic!#at the disco

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nayutai · 6 years ago

Text

Wins and Losses

Summary: Aleecia’s mother tries to play matchmaker with someone her daughter would rather not see again

Word Count: 10K+

Genre: Mostly fluff and smut....maybe a little angst if you squint

Warnings: Foul language, unprotected sex, and I think that’s it. This is pretty tame compared to my other stuff lol

The smell of hot sex and the sound of heavy breathing fills the air as my latest hookup rolls off of me. I take a few minutes to regain some semblance of composure before swinging my legs over the side of the bed to start gathering my clothes. I can already feel that familiar soreness settling in at the apex of thighs as my legs tremble slightly. Definitely a ten out of ten on the hookup scale.

“Well thanks for the dick...” I draw a blank on his name as I turn to face the naked man lounging in the mess of sheets that we’d just been rolling around in.

“Hoseok,” he replies with a sly grin on his face as he watches me get dressed. The way he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth almost makes me want to jump back in bed with him but it’s already two a.m. and I have things to do in the morning.

“Are you gonna give me your number? We should do this again.” He says as he shifts around on the mattress. I mentally pat myself on the back for managing to snag such a fine ass man to end the night with. He runs a hand through the mess I made of his jet black locks and now it’s my turn to bite my lip. For a second, I contemplate breaking my rule of not sleeping with the same hookup twice but I stop myself.

“These situations are called one night stands for a reason, bub. Besides I have things to do in the morning well in a few hours.” I inform him as I slip my feet into my heels. “You be blessed though.” I blow a kiss in his direction, which he playfully rolls his eyes at, before grabbing my phone and keys and leaving the lavish apartment without a backwards glance.

“Aleecia, darling, you look absolutely dreadful.’ I roll my eyes at my mother’s prim and proper face that’s delicately twisted into a scowl.

“Good morning to you too, Mother.” I quickly kiss her cheek before turning too my dad. “Daddy.” I peck his cheeks several times much to his amusement. The side of my face burns as I turn to place my clutch on the chair next to me after taking my seat across from my parents.

“Don’t listen to your mother, sweet pea.” My father reaches across the table to place his hand on mine. “You look just as pretty as the day we brought you home.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” I return his bright smile then turn my attention back to my mother. “Are we expecting guests?” I ask, gesturing to the three empty chairs at our table. Our weekly brunches very rarely consist of anyone but us so I’m intrigued. The fact that my father rolls his eyes and looks at my mother lets me know that she’s got something up her blush pink suit sleeve.

“I invited one of my bridge friends Cindy and her husband. Their son just took a job at one of those investment firms downtown and I figured you could show him around.” My sly mother explains as she smooths out the napkin she’s carefully placed in her lap.

Now I see why my dad was rolling his eyes. This smells like my mother attempting to marry me off to the son of one of her prissy friends.

“Mom how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to get married right now?” Of course, she just waves me off as if I’m still a child and not a twenty five year old woman capable of making my own life choices.

“Maybe if you had someone to come home to you’d stay out of those filthy bars you like to frequent. Don’t think I haven’t heard about you, missy.” I roll my eyes skyward as I prepare to get lectured on my “heathen antics” for the millionth time this month. I’m just having fun and I don’t plan on letting her desire for grandchildren she can show off ruin that any time soon.

Fortunately for me, my mother’s friend and her husband choose that exact moment to make an entrance. God bless them. I stand from my seat to greet them properly.

“Oh my, Aleecia! You’re even prettier than your mother said you were.” The sweet older lady kisses me own both cheeks as she squeezes both of my hands in hers. Her husband, Andrew, shakes my hand before moving on to my parents, clapping my dad on the back heartily.

“Where’s your son, Cindy?” My mother questions as we all take our seats around the table.

“He’s running a little late.” She informs as she spreads her napkin in her lap. “They needed his signature on some important paperwork. There he is!”

I turn to look over my shoulder to see the man I’m sure Cindy has bragged about endlessly to my mother. My stomach threatens to fall out of my ass when my eyes take in the man walking through the restaurant with a good looking black man hot on his heels. Of all times for me to run into one of my hookups it has to be when I’m about to meet a potential suitor. To my surprise, the black man greets a woman seated at a table near the door while the man whose bed I’d rolled out of less than twelve hours ago continues strutting towards us.

Now I barely made it through biology in college but…Cindy and Andrew are most definitely African-American like my own parents. I distinctly remember Hoseok mentioning last night when we were talking at the bar that he was from South Korea. As I watch him hug Cindy’s petite frame close lovingly, calling her mom, I come to the conclusion that he must have left out the part about him being adopted. My parents show absolutely no sign of the shock that’s coursing through me so apparently, I was the only one left out of the loop here.

Hoseok introduces himself to my parents before seemingly making a single white rose appear out of thin air. The mischievous glint in his eyes as he holds the rose out to me makes my heart skip a beat. The smile on his face is rated PG but the way he looks at me as he lifts my left hand to his lips suggests a hunger that could never be satisfied by food. My breath hitches as my mind reminds me of how those very lips had made a meal of me last night.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Aleecia.” I don’t miss his enunciation of the word pleasure in the slightest and it’s obvious that he intended to give it a double meaning only I would pick up on. Cocky fucker.

“Likewise, Hoseok.” He pulls my chair out for me before taking the only empty seat left at the table which of course is the one next to me. This is going to be a long brunch.

My assumption on brunch dragging on could not have been more correct. It seemed like I would never be able to escape from that table. Both sets of parents kept asking leading questions in a poorly veiled attempt to show that Hoseok and I have a lot in common which we do. However, my rules are my rules. I’ve taken a ride on his rollercoaster once and, as great as it was, I don’t plan on lining back up for it.

“Well this has been great but I need to get going.” I gather my things, kissing my parents on the cheek hastily as I try to extricate myself from this weird situation.

“Wait, I’ll walk you to your car.” The strength of my ancestors is the only thing that keeps me from openly scowling at his offer. Our respective mothers on the other hand look down right delighted at us getting some one-on-one time together. If only they knew just how close the two of us had gotten back at his apartment.

Hoseok has the audacity to put his hand on the small of my back as he holds the door of the restaurant open for me to pass through. He’s practically vibrating with barely restrained laughter as we walk towards my car. It soon becomes too much for him to hold back and the dam of laughter breaks. He cackles like a hyena, clapping his hands together animatedly. I wanna smack him but he looks so cute that it’s hard to follow through on my devious thoughts of violence.

“So this is the thing you had to do today?” He questions as he tries to get his breathing under control. He’s still chuckling lowly though and my left hand itches with the urge to smack him.

“Shut up. It’s not funny.” I stomp my foot like a child that didn’t get the toy they wanted. He simply leans back against my car that we’ve finally reached.

“I don’t know, babe.” The sly grin that had initially attracted me to him graces his features as he looks me up and down, licking his lips. “It’s pretty damn hilarious from where I stand. If I’d known this was going to happen I wouldn’t have let you leave my bed so soon.”

The implications of his words sends a shudder through me. My mind races with all the possibilities the statement could entail and each thought makes the damp spot that’s starting to form in my panties to grow exponentially. I cross my arms across my chest as if that’ll protect me but I only succeed in drawing his attention to my chest.

“You’re impossible.” I mutter almost to myself to which he shrugs his shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me you were adopted?”

“I don’t make a habit of telling hookups my life story.” He cocks one perfectly groomed eyebrows before he continues. “Although if you’d like to turn that one night into two I’m totally game. You looked so pretty under me last night.”

“And that’s my cue to leave.” He falls into a fit of giggles once more as I shove him away from my car.

“See you soon, Aleecia.” He winks at me before turning to walk back towards the restaurant.

Not likely bub.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite financial analyst.” The sound of that all too familiar voice has my fingers freezing above my keyboard. My eyes remain glued to the email I’m typing to my friend in HR as I count backwards from ten hoping that I’m just hearing things. It’s been three days since that god forsaken Sunday brunch and entirely too soon to be having another run in with the devil’s protégée.

“Ignoring people is very rude, Aleecia.” The arrogance in his voice as he flops down in one of the leather chairs across from my desk makes my hand itch to smack him again.

I finally look over my screen at him, not surprised to see him wearing a shit eating grin. I am surprised by how well he’s wearing the obviously tailor made white button up and navy slacks. A man in a suit has always been my weakness and I can already feel my defenses crumbling at the sight of Hoseok in his. I find myself drawing my bottom lip between my teeth as I take him in. Before I say something I know I’ll regret, I reach forward and press the speed dial number for my secretary Cedric.

“Yes, Ms. Hartford?” He answers mere seconds later.

“Ced, why is there an unscheduled visitor in my office?” Hoseok snorts, rolling his eyes when I glare at him.

“I’m sorry Ms. Hartford. It won’t happen again.” He responds without excuses.

“Thank you.” I turn my attention to the intruder, giving him the full force of my “Elsa” glare as my colleagues refer to the icy stare that’s brought many a foe to their knees. Hoseok on the other hand seems wholly unaffected.

“Don’t be so hard on him. I’m known to be a smooth talker.” He informs me smugly. “It’s why I’m so good at what I do.”

“Is that so?”

“It worked on you, didn’t it? Or was it my boyish good looks that sealed the deal for you?” He’s got me there. Hoseok has game that I can’t deny as much as I’d like to.

“Why are you here?” The smile on his face lets me know that he’s well aware of me avoiding answering his question but fortunately he gives me a pass.

“Your mother kindly informed me that you’re free for lunch today and what a coincidence so am I.” I arch an eyebrow at him. My mother’s sudden cancellation of our lunch date today is making a lot more sense now.

“And what makes you think I’d want to have lunch with you, Hoseok.” I rest my chin in the palm of my hand as I observe him. He seems entirely too at ease with the situation our mothers have placed us in and it’s bothersome.

“I’m buying that’s why.” He responds matter of factly. I have to admit that the thought of free food sweetens the pot deliciously but, considering our circumstances, I know I have to decline. A ping comes through signaling that Rian, my HR friend, has sent me a follow-up email to the one I’d been interrupted trying to respond to.

Rian Draughan: Aleecia do you want to do lunch or not? I’m starving and you’ve had me waiting forever. Stop torturing me and my stomach.

Saved by the bell, well, email in this case. I’ll have to pay for my own food but it’ll be worth it if I can thwart my mother’s dastardly plans.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” I say to Hoseok in the sweetest voice I can manage. “I made replacement lunch plans after my mother cancelled on me.” He searches my face shrewdly looking for any hint of a lie. It’s then I’m reminded that while Hoseok might be laid back and easy going he’s a force in his own right in the business world.

“Rain check?” He questions with the slightest hint of hope in his voice and I can’t wait to crush it.

“Don’t hold your breath on that one, buddy.” I reply as I lock my computer, reaching into my bottom drawer to grab my bag. “I don’t intend to give our mothers the satisfaction of getting what they want so if you would be so kind as to go along with my master plan it would be much appreciated.”

Hoseok tilts his head to the side as we face off in my office. The weight of his stare makes me shift from foot to foot. It’s almost as if I can feel his gaze cascading across my skin as he looks me over and heat pools in my lower stomach.

“I have another plan in mind and it involves a less avoidance and a lot more,” He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me into his solid frame. “contact.”

My heart is beating frantically in my chest and for a second I’m worried that he might actually be able to hear it. I know that I should probably back out of his embrace but it’s as if my feet are glued to the floor.

The breath in my lungs rushes out when he leans in closer to me. My head lolls to the side almost on his own accord as he places gentle kisses along the column of my throat, ending at my ear. He pulls the lobe between his teeth and tugs softly. I never knew that was a turn on for me but the sudden gush of wetness between my thighs informs me that it is.

“I always get what I want, Aleecia.” He whispers in my ear. His voice is rough with desire and a shudder runs down my spine. He finally steps away from me with a satisfied smirk on his face. “I’ll see you soon, babe.”

Hoseok exits my office with one final wink and it feels like I can breathe again. I’ve never been with a man that was so in control of my body the way he is especially after just one night together. A night that was nearly a week ago. I decide then and there that this man is a demon who must be avoided.

When I step out into the small foyer outside my office, I’m not surprised to see Rian waiting for me. What is surprising is the smug look on her face. She looks like the cat that got the cream and my gut clenches in fear of the interrogation I’m surely in for during lunch.

“So, how good was the dick?” Rian asks as she daintily cuts into her stuffed chicken breast. I nearly choke on my water although I should’ve seen it coming. Rian and I have been friends since sophomore year of undergrad and we’ve always been super open about our sex lives with each other.

“It was life-changing.” I answer with a frustrated groan. “I almost considered breaking my rule for another night but my mother made sure I stuck to my guns.”

Rian arches a perfectly sculpted brow in question so I launch into my story about The Brunch. She listens intently, cackling when I get to Hoseok’s “grand entrance”. For a second, I’m sure she’s about to choke on a piece of broccoli as she tries to control herself.

“So, what are you gonna do, sis?” She asks around her chicken, serious for the first time since we sat down.

“I’m going to ignore him.” I answer before taking a sip of my water. “I let my mother meddle in my love life before and all it got me was chlamydia and five years of wasted time.”

Rian nods in concession to my statement. My ex-fiancée Derek had been my mother’s first foray at matchmaking and for a while I thought she had the golden touch. He was three years older than me, the son of one of the lawyers my mom played tennis with and already a senior in college when we first met. We became joined at the hip almost instantly. If you saw one of us the other wasn’t far away.

I was worried that we wouldn’t last after he’d graduated and taken a job at a law firm in the neighboring city but Derek had shown me that he was willing to do whatever was necessary to make our relationship work. Looking back, I should’ve seen the signs. After a routine check-up, I was able to see through the smokescreen of dazzling smiles and sweet nothings that had been my life. What hurt even more is that he hadn’t even been sorry. If anything, he was relieved that all of his secrets were finally out in the open so that he wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Derek took five of the best years of my life and ever since then my view on love has been jaded. I gave a man my heart and thought I was getting his in return but it was all a bunch of lies wrapped up in a pretty bow. Never again will I let a man play me like that. Love doesn’t live at my address anymore.

“It’s been almost two years though. Don’t you think it’s time to get back out there in the dating world?” Rian asks curiously.

“Maybe one day,” I answer pensively. “but that day is not today.”

A deep sigh leaves my throat as I drop yet another bouquet of flowers into the garbage can next to my desk. It’s been a week since Hoseok’s surprise visit to my office and the flowers have been coming every day since. I almost feel bad throwing them away because I’m sure they cost him a pretty penny but there’s no way they can stay here.

My eyes start crossing up at 11 o’clock on the dot as usual which means it’s time to make my daily trip to the break room for a cup of caffeinated gold. Otherwise known as a giant cup mocha cappuccino with copious amounts of sugar and hazelnut creamer. I ask Cedric if he wants anything from the break room while I’m gone, nodding confirmation at his request for a donut.

On the way back to my office I notice my supervisor ahead of me walking next to another man with an artfully disheveled head of hair that looks much too familiar. My heart clenches when I watch them stride past all of the other doors on the hallway which means they can only be going one place, my office.

“Please, God no” I whisper to myself as I contemplate running away from the building entirely.

Cedric gives me a weak, knowing smile as he accepts his donut when I step into the foyer. Boisterous, male laughter erupts from my open office door, making me cringe. Ced gives me a thumbs-up for encouragement as I take a deep breath and steel myself to face the two men currently cackling in my office.

“Ah, there you are, Ms. Hartford.” My supervisor Mr. Branson stands to shake my hand after I shut my office door behind me. “This is Jung Hoseok. He’s on loan to us for the next few weeks for that audit project with Axis Banking that I was telling you about last month.”

A dreadful groan claws at my windpipe but I manage to choke it down. I’d been incredibly excited that my name had been picked to head this massive project with our sister bank but now I’d gladly accept death. Satan really doesn’t want me to prosper. My office is huge, one of the perks of it being the old office of our CEO before several floors were added to the building, so I’d foolishly offered to temporarily make room for the Axis rep so that we could work on the project together. The thought of being trapped in this office with Hoseok for hours upon hours makes my blood run hot for various reasons.

“I’ll leave you two to get to know each other a little bit before you get started tomorrow. The movers will bring in the necessary furniture and equipment so you’ll be ready to go in the morning.” Mr. Branson claps us both on the shoulder good-naturedly before dismissing himself.

“I take it roses aren’t your thing, huh.” My eyes go wide as I realize that he’s seen the bouquet peeking over the edge of my trash can. I open my mouth to respond but he stops me. “Don’t worry I expected a much worse outcome for those flowers if I’m honest. This just means you’re warming up to me.” I scowl at his megawatt smile and wish I’d dropped those damn flowers in the bin heading for the incinerator.

I take a long drag from my coffee and flop down in my chair. He walks around my desk to prop himself against it next to me, crossing his arms over his chest as he observes me casually. It takes me two tries to type my password in under the weight of his gaze. I don’t know how I’m going to survive working so closely with him over these next few weeks when I can barely handle him looking at me without flooding my panties and making a fool of myself.

“Did you know I was working on this project?” I ask, breaking the thick silence between us.

“Not until your boss brought me to your office.” He answers without hesitation and the look on his face makes me inclined to believe his words. Hoseok didn’t’ seem like the type to outright lie to me.

My hands creep up the sides of my neck to rub at the muscles there that suddenly feel tense. A gasp sounds through the air when Hoseok slaps my hands away and replaces them with his own. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud at the rush of pleasure that flows through me at the loosening of my stiff muscles. This man has magical hands although on some level I guess I already knew that about him.

I don’t realize just how into the massage I’ve gotten until the soft sound of his laughter makes me open my eyes, even though I don’t remember closing them, giving me a lovely view of his amused face. Embarrassment floods my system almost immediately as I roll my shoulders and roll my chair closer to my desk.

“See you in the morning then I guess.” I clear my throat and focus all of my attention on a stack of paperwork on my desk. He hums noncommittally, letting the tip of one of his fingers drag down my arm.

“See you soon, princess.” He lifts my hand to his lips when he reaches it. The feeling of his plush lips on my skin makes me long to feel those same lips all over me again. I curse internally when my door clicks softly behind him before practically diving for my phone.

“Rian, I have a problem.” I whisper the second she picks up her phone.

The darkest pair of sunglasses I own cover my eyes as I approach the front door of the building, waving at the security guards on my way to the bank of elevators. My stomach churns dangerously as I chug more of the coffee from the giant cup I’m nursing. Rian and I had a “game planning” session which basically means we drank excessive amounts of wine while she laughed at my current situation until we passed out on my couch. I woke up still slightly drunk this morning and contemplated skipping work but that wouldn’t look good on my part since Hoseok and I are to start this stupid project today.

My stomach lurches once more as I think about having to deal with him today and for the millionth time this morning I bristle with jealousy at the fact that Rian is comfortably lounging in my bed sleeping off of the rest of her drunkenness. Lucky HR bitch.

Cedric the Saint has a bacon and egg sandwich and a bottle of ibuprofen waiting for me as I’d desperately requested. My mouth waters at the smell of the meaty goodness as I graciously take the bag and pills from him.

Hoseok has beat me to the office unsurprisingly, lifting his eyebrow at my strange appearance as I flop down in my office chair. I immediately begin tearing into my sandwich, moaning unabashedly. I hear Hoseok choke on air off to my left but I can’t be bothered to care right now.

After devouring my sandwich and popping a few pills, I finally feel ready to try and start my workday. I reach into my bag to grab my laptop so that I can plug it into the docking station on my desk only to come up empty. My head drops to my desk with a thud as I realize that I’ve left my laptop at home which means I have no computer unless I go back and get it.

“Rough morning?” Hoseok asks and he sounds much closer than he should. I simply nod, not bothering to lift my head from its current position.

“Come on,” he says as he slowly spins my chair to face him. “What’s wrong?” he grasps my chin gently, tilting my drooping head up to look at him. It’s unfair how pretty he looks so early in the morning.

“I forgot my laptop.” I mumble out, looking everywhere but at him. I’m almost surprised when he releases my face from his grasp. The sight of him pulling a set of car keys from his pocket as he makes his way towards my office door definitely catches me off guard.

“Well, do you want your laptop or not?” He questions from the now open door to my office. I nearly trip over myself trying to get to him.

“You’re a fucking lifesaver.” Before I can stop myself, I peck his cheek once I’ve caught up to him at the doorway. This time it’s his turn to freeze as I move past him. A huff of laughter escapes me at the red tint that blooms across his cheeks as he fights a smile. Working with Hoseok might not be so bad after all.

Twenty minutes later Hoseok is parking is sleek Audi in my driveway which isn’t something I’d ever imagined would happen. I waste no time unbuckling myself and making a mad dash for my front door. The keys to my own car are next to my charging laptop on my nightstand where I’d dumped them the previous night. I grab both items, smacking a still sleeping Rian on the ass to annoy her before leaving my humble abode once more. Hoseok rolls his window down when I approach the driver’s side of his car, eyeing my keys almost suspiciously.

“My headache is gone now so I’ll just dri-”

“Nope we’re doing dinner after work and then I’m bringing you home so get in.” As if on their own accord, my feet carry me around to the other side of the car.

“What makes you think I want to get dinner with you?” He glances in my directions fleetingly before backing out onto the street.

“Because you need it after a morning like this.” He responds almost immediately. “There’s no ulterior motive going on. I just feel like doing something nice for you.”

“Driving me to my house to get my computer isn’t doing something nice?”

“Who says a man can’t do more than one nice thing a day?” I nod once in agreement with his point, spending the rest of the ride back to the office staring out at the city.

Working with Hoseok is surprisingly…efficient. I was fully anticipating wandering hands and suggestive innuendos, but when it comes to his work the man plays no games. The change in his demeanor is almost palpable as the smiley persona he normally exhibits fades in favor of the shrewd, calculating man that sits across from me.

“No one in their right minds would buy this shit. Who gave the okay on buying this dumpster fire?” He questions almost to himself as he goes over the financial reports from the company our parent corporation is trying to offload.

“I don’t know but the amount of short-term debt alone is making me sweat.” Hoseok quickly scrolls to the balance sheet, cursing to himself at the exorbitant figure listed.

“They should’ve audited this mess before they spent,” his jaw drops when he looks at the file in front of him at the purchase price “260 million dollars. They really spent that much money on this?” The incredulous expression on his face probably matches mine.

“We work for absolute idiots.” He whispers and I wholeheartedly nod in agreement.

After work, Hoseok makes good on his promise to take me out to dinner. We drive past numerous restaurants downtown and yet he stops at none of them. My brow furrows in confusion when Hoseok slots his car into a parking space at a rundown looking diner called Pete’s Place. It looks old enough to have served Benjamin Franklin but I cautiously follow behind Hoseok anyway. The promise of free food is much too good to pass out. I nearly salivate when he holds the door open for me allowing the smell of untold deliciousness to hit me in the face with the force of a bullet train. My attitude quickly changes as I hastily slide into the first empty booth I spot

An older woman in an apron with a dazzling smile comes over to our table, sitting an orange soda and small cup of lemon wedges in front of Hoseok before ruffling his already messy hair even more. I’m starting to get the feeling that he’s a bit of a regular here.

“Where ya been, kid?” She asks as she smacks away on a piece of gum. “Me and the girls have missed you around here.”

I see I was right about him being a regular.

“I haven’t been home in a while but I just took a job here in the city so I’m going to become a full-time pain in your ass again, Sher.” He gives her one of his trademark smiles, giggling as he dodges her hands when she swats at him.

“Stop being rude and introduce me to your girlfriend, Hopie.”

“I’m no-”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Sher.” Hoseok interrupts me, effectively communicating what I was going to say anyway. “Aleecia here just wants me for my body.” I kick my foot at him but he catches it as if he was expecting my foot to come flying out at him.

“Her loss.” Sher replies with a shrug of her shoulders before handing us a couple menus. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your orders.”

“You must want to die, Hopie.” I make sure to put sinister emphasis on the nickname Sher had called him but when a shudder visibly rolls down his spine I can tell it backfired.

“It sounds so hot when you say it.” I scoff, watching in disgust as he squeezes the lemon wedges into his soda before dropping them in.

“Where did that name even come from anyway?”

“Would you believe me if I said I had a short-lived rap career?” Never in a million years would I have imagined that the man sitting in front of me would have ever been a rapper. Maybe in some alternate universe but definitely not the one that I exist in.

“No way. Really?” I lean forward, resting my chin in my hands like a child. I’m thoroughly intrigued with the thought of the man across from me being a rapper.

“Yep, I called myself J-Hope.” He nods with a faint smile on his face as he busies himself with stirring his lemon wedges into his soda. A disgusting combination from my point of view but he seems satisfied with it.

“Can I listen to some of your music?” His head snaps up so fast I’m scared that he might injure himself.

“You-…I…you actually want to hear my music?” He seems genuinely dumbfounded that I’d ever be interested in hearing his raps.

“Yeah why not?” I answer as I finally pick up the menu in front of me to peruse my options.

For the first time since I met him, Hoseok is speechless. Sher saves him from floundering for a response when she returns to take our orders. He seems to have recovered by the time she walks away and returns with the sweet tea I’d ordered.

The conversation flows easily between us as we wait for our food although that was never an issue for us. As promised, the conversation never once veers in an inappropriate direction and the longer we sit here the more I wish that it would. I keep catching myself staring at the way his lips move as talks animatedly about a giant dog he’d seen at the park a few days ago and each time I have to damn near force myself to look away.

When our food arrives, it’s just as delicious as I expected it to be. My eyes roll skyward when I get a taste of the blueberry waffles I’d ordered. If not for the fact that there’s a decent amount of people in the diner I might’ve moaned out like I’d done in my office this morning.

“Good?” Hoseok asks on a laugh. He obviously already knows the answer but I humor him with a thumbs-up anyway as I rock happily in my seat.

When we get back into his car after dinner, Hoseok presses a few buttons on the radio until a calming beat diffuses out of the speakers. He looks so tense that I can only assume that this is one of his songs. My assumption is proven correct when I hear his voice through the speakers rapping in Korean.

“What’s this one called?” I ask curiously as I bob my head to the beat. Whatever it is it’s catchy as hell.

“It’s called Airplane.” He answers, scratching at the back of his head nervously. “It’s part of the mixtape I made my senior year of college. Figured I’d do it in Korean to reconnect with my roots ya know?”

I nod my head in understanding. Being able to connect with who you are culturally as someone adopted into a family so drastically different from the one you were born into was probably really big for him.

“Can you send me this? Like the whole mixtape?”

“Uhm yeah sure.”

I beat Hoseok to the office the next morning and seeing his face when he walks in on me singing along to another song from his mixtape was worth getting up twenty minutes early. His entire face turns red as he avoids any sort of eye contact with me on the way to his desk.

“Good morning, J-Hope.” I cackle at the way he cringes at his old moniker.

“I feed you and this is the thanks I get?” He asks ruefully as he crosses over to my side of the office. I quickly remind him that I did in fact thank him for dinner when he dropped me off at my house which he seems to have so conveniently forgotten. I also make it point to inform him that dinner doesn’t guarantee his safety from my taunting either. He hums out loud as he considers my answer for a moment.

“How about whoever gets to the office first gets immunity from teasing of any sort?” I suck in a dramatic breath as my brain comprehends his proposal. The smug grin on his face lets me know that he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“That’s not a fair deal, Hoseok.” I narrow my eyes at him. Not only does he live closer to the downtown area and therefore closer to work, but I don’t believe in getting to work early while Hoseok believes in getting to the office 15 minutes ahead of everyone else like a demon. I know this is a deal I should refuse but I always did love a good challenge.

I groan internally when I open my office door the next morning to see Hoseok already seated at his desk.

“Good morning, Lee Lee. Did you sleep well?” His smile is turned up to sun-level intensity and it pisses me off.

“What the hell is a Lee Lee? My name is Aleecia.” I emphasize my name as I drop my bag onto my desk a little more aggressively than necessary. A scowl clouds my face as he gleefully tells me about the internal monologue he had with himself in the elevator about ways for us to better our working relationship to make the project run smoothly. Apparently, nicknames was step one so now I have the weekend to come up with something “cute” to call him as well and I want to shoot myself.

Dinner at Pete’s becomes a routine of sorts for us after that week. Step two in Hobi’s plan after the completion of the nickname phase. I loathed it at first simply because he’d suggested it but I’ll be damned if it didn’t actually work.

Every Thursday, one of us picks the other up from home and after work we claim “our” booth for dinner. The “tradition” continues even after we finish the audit project so now every Thursday is a race to see who can beat the other to the diner. Loser pays.

For the past two months since the project ended I haven’t had to pay for dinner once and today I feel like I might be dangerously close to losing my streak. My eyes dart to the bottom right corner of my computer screen every few seconds as I not so patiently wait for an important file to download. The second it’s done, I snatch my laptop from its docking station and unceremoniously shove it into my bag before running towards the door.

Traffic is a mess because that’s just my luck and at this point I’m positive that Hoseok is going to beat me. However, his familiar vehicle is nowhere to be found in the parking lot when I arrive. I check my phone to see if he’s texted me and it’s then I realize that I haven’t actually talked to him since yesterday which is weird considering that we’ve developed somewhat of as friendship over the past few months as a result of his plan and text regularly.

“Where the hell are you, Hoseok.” I whisper to myself as I press the call button under his name.

When he answers, I immediately know why he’s missing in action. The poor man sounds like microwaved death.

“Now I know why I’m at Pete’s by myself.” I say playfully.

“Fuck it’s Thursday.” He interrupts himself with a short coughing fit, sniffling before he continues. “I’m sorry, Lee Lee. I should’ve called” I have to stop myself from smiling like an idiot at the nickname that he’d created. I’ll never admit it but it’s grown on me.

“Don’t worry about it, Hobi. Have you eaten? Taken any medicine? Drank enough water?”

“Uhhh...no.”

“Ugh you men folk are absolutely defenseless. I’ll be there in an hour.” I drop my phone into the passenger seat before peeling out of the parking lot.

Exactly an hour later I’m punching in the elevator code to Hoseok’s penthouse apartment, both arms weighed down with bags. When I stroll out of the elevator into his foyer, he’s cocooned on his couch in several blankets fast asleep. I kick off my heels and put away the groceries as quietly as I can before heating up the soup I’d brought him. I cross the room to stand over him, setting the soup and a box of cold pills on the coffee table behind me. My heart melts a little at how small he looks tucked underneath the blankets.

“Hobi, Hobi, Hobi.” I repeatedly call his name while poking his cheek until he finally wakes.

“I hate you.”

“Uh huh sit up and eat some soup so you can take something.” I say as I rest the back of my hand against his clammy forehead. He definitely has a fever.

He begrudgingly follows my directions, glaring at me for interrupting his sleep the entire time. I pick up the bowl of soup and hold it out to him. He sniffs at it for a second as if he’s contemplating not eating but he eventually grabs the dish from my hands. I return to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. One of the few things he actually had in there other than the groceries that I’d just bought.

Hoseok drains the soup bowl in record time but absolutely refuses to let a single cold capsule pass between his lips. At one point I try to physically pry his jaw open just for him to bite me like a rabid dog.

“Fucking hell Hoseok just take the damn medicine so I can go home.” I screech as I lunge for his face again, attempting to catch him off guard. He grunts out his disapproval against my hand as he struggles beneath me before rolling onto his stomach.

“I don’t need pills.” He yells into the fabric of his comforter. “My white blood cells are fierce warriors and don’t need any help!”

I take a deep breath and remove myself from his back and stomp loudly to the kitchen. I slam a few cabinet doors and grumble to give him false hope before tip-toeing behind the couch. The second he raises his head to look around, I pounce.

“Gotcha, fucker.” I announce triumphantly as I finally get the pills in his mouth, clapping my hand over his lips to make sure he doesn’t spit them out. “Swallow. Now. You owe me dinner so you need to get better.”

He glares at me but I watch his throat bob twice as he struggles to swallow the pills down dry.

“That was horrible.”

“Well you could’ve had water if you weren’t such a child about it.” I announce as I retreat to the kitchen to get a bottle of water for myself. Fighting with this errant man child has left me quite parched.

“I demand cuddles and a kiss for this disrespect.” Water nearly spews out of my mouth at his outlandish request.

“Are you high? Drunk? Both?” I question incredulously as I fight not to choke to death on my own shock.

“No, what I am is lonely.” He pouts. “Please Leecia just cuddle with me.” He grabs one of my hands and attempts to pull me down onto the couch with him. Sure, I consider Hoseok a friend but the only friend I’ve ever cuddled with is Rian and he’s nowhere near Rian’s platinum friendship level at all.

On top of that my mother’s face keeps floating around in my head. She’d probably love nothing more than for the two of us to cuddle on this couch into the wee morning hours. Giving into Hoseok means giving into my mother and that’s just not something I can do so I steel the resolve his begging had begun to weaken and pull my hand from his grasp.

“I think I need to go now. I can’t do this.” I mumble and make a bee line for the door. I’ve got one heel back on when Hoseok speaks up.

“Why did you go to brunch that day if you didn’t want to be in a relationship?” He asks in such a small voice that I almost don’t hear him. “Or is it you don’t want to be in a relationship with me?” He tacks on almost as an afterthought.

The look on his face reminds me of a wounded puppy and I find myself genuinely upset at the fact that I’m the cause of it. I take my shoe back off before padding back over to him, plopping down onto the couch next to him.

“What’s the correlation to that godforsaken brunch and us being in a relationship?”

He explains to me how he was under the impression that I knew exactly what the purpose of that ironic get together was and had been in full support of it. Apparently, my darling mother had pulled out all of the stops for this meeting and told him that I was looking to finally settle down and anxiously anticipated meeting Hoseok. He’d never seen a picture of me which is why he didn’t put two and two together that night in the bar plus the amount of alcohol in his system made it seem like a perfect coincidence that his last hoorah would be with a woman by the same name as me.

I wish I could say I’m surprised by all this but it’s not all that out of character for my mom to try something this sneaky to get what she wants. It’s probably why she made such a good defense lawyer back when she still practiced. She has no qualms about being underhanded to achieve her goals.

“Hoseok I-” I open and close my mouth a few times as I try to be as tactful as possible. “I had no idea that my mother was trying to set the two of us up. She’s tried playing matchmaker once before and it nearly ruined me so if I’d know what she was up to I probably wouldn’t have shown up at all.”

I take a deep breath and recount the horror story that is my ex-boyfriend. He listens intently. Not interrupting one which is honestly a bit surprising. When I conclude my tale, I actually feel lighter. This is the first time I’ve told anyone other than Rian exactly what happened between Derek and I all that time ago. My own parents don’t even know the full story. For a long while we just sit in silence as Hoseok figures out a way to respond.

“That dude is an asshole.” He finally speaks, wiping at the couple of tears that I hadn’t even realize had started to fall. “Doing that to anyone, you especially, should be considered a crime against God and nature.” A small laugh escapes me as I reach for the box of tissues he has on the coffee table.

“Yeah well it’s over and now I’m pulling a Maxine Waters and reclaiming my time the only way I know how.” I shrug my shoulders, laying my head on his shoulder when he pulls me into him for a much needed hug.

“Is that where your rules come from?” I nod yes and I feel rather than hear the sigh he lets out at my confirmation. “I think you should go now.” My head jerks up so fast it’s a wonder that I don’t give myself whiplash.

“You want me to leave? Why?”

“Because now that I’ve got you in my arms again I don’t think I’ll ever let go.” He starts. “I think I started falling for you from all the stories I heard about you, but actually meeting you and knowing you? I’m in deep, Lee Lee, but I know this isn’t what you want right now.”

My heart nearly seizes up at the raw emotion laid out on his face. His eyes are full of a longing and desire that has me choking back a sob. I throw my arms around his neck haphazardly, holding him as tight as I can. He sniffles a little against my neck. A damp feeling against my skin tells me it’s not from his cold.

I pull back to look him in the face once more, letting my eyes scan every inch of his face. One of my hands cups his jaw while the other rests against his collarbone. I’m not sure who leans in first but I soon find my lips pressed against Hoseok’s and for a split second I freeze up. I haven’t kissed this man since that one fateful night when he entered my life in more ways than one. Now, totally sober and in control of my impulses, I don’t recoil from him as I’d expected to. The restrictions I’d worked hard to maintain on our relationship to keep it platonic crumble and fall like the Berlin Wall. Our lips continue to move softly against each other when I more pressing thought comes rushing to the forefront of my consciousness.

I’m going to get so sick.

Thoughts of congestion and a runny nose are pushed to the back of my mind when Hoseok runs his tongue across the seam of my closed lips. A tortured groan sounds from deep in his chest as I finally grant him total access to my mouth. Hoseok detangles himself from the pile of blankets he’d buried himself under to pull me into his lap. His hands slide up my thighs to my ass as he pushes my dress up past my hips. He grabs and squeezes at the supple cheeks of my ass while he forces my hips to rock back and forth over the tent in his sweatpants.

“Please let me inside you.” He pleads against my skin as his mouth travels down the column of my neck. “Let me make you feel good.”

I nod my consent, shivering when his hands ghost up my back to grasp the zipper on my dress. My breath hitches in my throat as he eases it down. A muffled curse falls from his lips when I pull my arms from the sleeves to reveal the pale yellow lace of my bra.

“Please tell me your panties match.” He groans, eyes never leaving my heaving chest. I smirk mischievously before removing myself from his lap.

I turn my back to him once I’m standing between his outstretched legs. I tease him a little by raising and lowering before finally bending at the waist to lower the little black dress down my legs. An audible gasp followed by a low moan comes from behind me as Hoseok takes in the sight of my matching lace panties.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Aleecia.” He whispers as he wraps his arms around me from behind, peppering kisses across whatever skin his lips can reach. His fingers walking along my spine is the only warning I get before my bra suddenly loosens around my torso.

He releases me to shove his sweatpants down his legs along with his boxers. His hard length rests against his lower stomach as he strokes it lazily with one hand. He reaches for me with his freehand to pull me back into his lap.

I slide my hands under his white t-shirt and hope he takes the hint that I want it gone. Fortunately, Hoseok is intuitive, yanking the fabric over his head and tossing it somewhere over my shoulder. I dip my head down and worship the tanned skin I can reach with my lips. The sound of his moans and groans in my ear makes a fresh wave of arousal wash over me.

Hoseok reaches between us to slide my drenched panties to the side to gain access to my soaked center. He circles my entrance before relocating to my engorged clit, working it in languidly as I grind against his hands.

“No more foreplay. I need you. Now.” I whisper into his ear as I pull his hand from between my legs.

Air whooshes out of his mouth as I slide my wet heat along his erection. He reaches down to line himself up with my entrance, head tossed back in pleasure as I begin my descent. I grasp my breasts in my hands, squeezing them together when my ass finally meets his thighs.

“Fuck, your pussy is so good.” He tilts his hips forward slightly which changes the angle in a way that has me clenching around him tightly. “That’s right, baby. Milk my cock.”

I start up a steady rhythm. Lifting and dropping my hips in his lap. Hoseok braces his feet on the floor to meet every downward stroke with an upward thrust of his own. It’s as if I’m constantly full of him. His very being seems to overwhelm me as he sucks a nipple into his eager mouth. He pinches and pulls at the other nipple with one hand before switching it up.

“More, Hobi.” I plead as I twist my fingers into his hair. “I need more.”

I’m not really sure what I’m begging for but Hoseok definitely seems to know. He releases my nipple with a pop to latch onto my ass. He spreads and squeezes the flesh there as he lifts me up before pulling me back down, forcing my hips to roll forward before doing it all over again. I can feel the knot in my lower stomach tightening to near bursting levels as I bite down on his shoulder.

“Soak my dick, baby. Wanna feel you cum around me.” His husky voice in my ear is all I need to push me over the edge. Every muscle in my body feels like it’s seizing up as lighting bolts of pleasure shoot down my nerve endings.

Hoseok lifts me off of him just in time to cover my abdomen in his release. His chest is heaving as he reattaches his lips to mine for a brief kiss. My eyes drift down to the mess on my stomach. I run a finger through the white strings before bringing it to my lips to sample his release. It’s bitter as expected but there’s a slight sweetness to it that takes the edge off that’s so uniquely him.

“That was the hottest shit ever.” He muses with a goofy smile on his face.

Hoseok and I make love late into the night. Taking our time exploring each other’s bodies and figuring out what makes the other tick the fastest. It’s no surprise when I wake the next morning sniffling just like the man to my left

After calling Cedric and letting him know that I won’t be coming into the office, I resign myself to spending all day in bed with Hoseok. We’re five episodes into the second season of Grey’s Anatomy, according to Hoseok it’s blasphemous that I haven’t seen it, when something one of the characters said triggers a thought in my congested head.

“If you were so set on being with me before we even met, why were you trolling for a hook up in that dirty ass bar?” I ask, feeling some type of way the more I think about it.

“I wasn’t trolling for a hookup as you so eloquently put it.” He answers after blowing his nose. “I wasn’t planning to sleep with anyone at all. A few of my friends from college came into town so we were reliving our glory days of getting trashed and singing bad karaoke.”

“But you still went home with me though.” He nods in concession to my point.

“I don’t know. I just remember seeing you walk in and just feeling drawn to you like a magnet. When you told me your name was Aleecia, my drunk ass probably thought it was a positive sign from God since I’m getting set up with someone who has the same name.”

I ponder his statement for a moment. “That’s dumb.”

“Men aren’t smart creatures. Alcohol just makes it worse.” We stare at each other for a second before dissolving into a fit of laughter. It gets cut short by us hacking our lungs out but the sentiment still stands.

“I know I probably seem like jackass for sleeping with someone the day I was supposed to meet you but the fact that it was you makes me feel like it truly was a sign.” He says soberly after we get ourselves back together.

“So why did you offer to take my number? You even asked to meet up again.” I point out with a raised brow.

“I was about to nut early so I was looking around trying to distract myself and I saw a notification on your phone reminding you about brunch at Le Chateau and I kinda just put two and two together.” He explains sheepishly.

I try to hide my laugh behind my hand but I can tell by the look on his face that I’m unsuccessful. “Don’t tell anyone else that story.”

“I won’t. I like my pride intact thank you very much.” He settles back down against the pillows to unwrap a throat lozenge, passing me one as well. I take in the small pout on his face as he fiddled with the wrapping and feel an ache in my chest.

“Fuck I’m really about to let my mom win.”

“You know, letting her win doesn’t mean that you lose.” He mumbles as he finally gets his throat lozenge unwrapped, popping it in is mouth.

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever, Plato. Are you my boyfriend or not?” I ask bluntly. Chucking a little when he nearly chokes to death on the lozenge.

“Yes! Shit, you can’t just say stuff like that without a warning. I’m sensitive.” I smile as I tuck my throat lozenge against my cheek. He pulls me over into his side of the bed so that my head is laying on his chest. His lips press against my forehead gently before grabbing the remote to rewind the show that we’d stopped paying attention to.

“You know it’s pill time right?” I ask with a grin on my face as his chest rumbles with a groan beneath me.

“This relationship already sucks.”

#btssmutclub #btsguild #hoseok x reader #jung hoseok #bts smut #hoseok smut #bts smut and fluff #jhope smut #jhope x reader

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sunchosens · 7 years ago

Text

keep me here

pairing: andreil word count: 2,963 read on ao3

This is real.

Andrew wasn’t sure at first but the smell of black coffee in the morning and the cluttered path of shoes through his room and the tangled blankets cloaking his body convince him otherwise. Reality settles in when he lounges on the couch all Saturday, inevitably getting roped into an inane, violent videogame by Nicky, Kevin glaring disapprovingly from the kitchen.

It’s real in the way the cold bites at his fingertips when he refuses to wear gloves for a morning cig, but insists on pulling on three pairs of socks. It’s the rush he gets on the court, closing out the goal, watching the opposing team’s strikers become angrier and angrier.

But most of all, Andrew thinks, Neil is real.

He might have laughed if someone had suggested that to him not even a year ago. But now, Neil might be the most solid thing in his life. When the lines between reality and not start to blur, Andrew feels loose and dizzy, like he could float away at any second. But then Neil will crawl into their bed, hesitating only a moment to judge the moment and kissing him gently, before flopping onto his back besides Andrew. He’ll look over at Andrew, that fucking glimmer in his eye and ask, “Coffee?” like he doesn’t already know what the answer is.

He’ll be the one to leave shoes all over Andrew’s rug, claiming that yes, he does need three pairs of running shoes, and no, he would not appreciate it if Andrew let Aaron sell them on eBay. Andrew will be lightheaded, ready to escape to the roof and dream about murdering his demons, when Neil will join him, hoodie tightened as much as possible and slide a carton of ice cream his way, like that could solve everything.

Neil’s a fucking idiot, no matter what Boyd and Wilds say.

That doesn’t make him any less real. And it’s not like Neil’s some magical cure all for the car crash of Andrew’s mind. It’s just, the bad days aren’t as often. More times than not, Andrew seeks Neil out, hoping for a glimpse of that breathtaking solidity.

Take right now, for example. Andrew’s pretty sure that if anyone even looks at him the wrong way, he won’t be able to hold himself accountable for what he might do. He’s sequestered himself away in the library, the wind chill a little high for the roof, even by his standards. He desperately wants a cig, but he’s not a goddamn junkie, and so he digs his nails into the palm of his hand, stifling the urge.

The whole reason he came to the library was to get away from people who know him, and Andrew’s not so sure he’s succeeded, seeing how Neil just stumbled into the library. His cheeks are bright pink and his hair is ruffled even though everytime he goes outside, Andrew tells him to wear a hat. Neil runs a hand through his windblown hair, unknowingly looking thoroughly debauched. Andrew is not pleased.

Andrew slouches down in his chair, trying to avoid what he knows is coming. Neil spots him, his face lighting up like a goddamn Christmas tree and Andrew mentally raises the percent in his head. Beelining towards him, Neil slings his bag onto the table when he arrives, loudly pulling out a chair and practically dropping into it.

“I was looking for you,” Neil wheezes, pounding his chest sightly.

“Did you run here?” He doesn’t want to engage, but Neil is panting and Andrew’s mind naturally goes into the last time he was panting and he has to shift in his seat.

“Yeah, away from Kevin,” Neil levels him with an accusing look, shrugging his jacket off and moving to open his backpack. Andrew stares back at him, deadpan. Neil flips his textbook open, seemingly unconcerned. “I figured you’d be on the roof,” he explains. “You weren’t obviously, but Kevin was. I guess he’s looking for you, too. He wanted extra Exy practice but I have a huge test tomorrow,” Neil gestures towards his book, “and told him I’d be right back.”

“You ran here.” Andrew states, not quite sure what to do with the information. Neil shrugs and Andrew sees right through him. Neil’s obviously concerned and trying to hide his feelings behind a mask of unaffected nonchalance. He knows that when Neil didn’t find Andrew on the roof or in the dorm that he would have searched all over campus.

The thought doesn’t make him want to be physically ill, which is a development. He can still feel the ghost of hands on his skin and the racket in his head hasn’t quite subsided so instead of leaning towards Neil, he slumps down further in his chair.

Neil looks casual, flipping obnoxiously through his textbook. He doesn’t say anything else and Andrew lets the silence fall over his mind, muffling out the cacophony. For a moment, all he can hear is Neil’s steady breathing, the scratching of his pencil on paper and the occasional turning of a page. He knows Neil knows it’s a bad day, knows Neil’s known it since Andrew said nothing this morning, choosing instead to hibernate under the blankets like his life depended on it.

But Neil said nothing, and the fact that he chose to seek Andrew out, even if it was just to spend time with him meant something to Andrew. The knots in his stomach ease up slightly, and he raises up in his seat. Neil glances up at him, the eraser of a pencil wedged between his teeth as he gnaws on the metal. Heathen.

Neil’s staring at Andrew like he holds the fucking world and usually, Andrew would be irritated by the attention, but today he stares back. Then Neil smiles, radiant bright brilliant, and Andrew has to look away. “Aren’t you supposed to be studying? I don’t think I hold the answers to,” he peers over at Neil’s textbook, “Advanced Calculus.”

Shrugging, Neil slams his book shut. He shoves it aside, dropping his pencil somewhere into the recesses of his backpack. “I was just doodling anyway,” he grinned, and Andrew rolls his eyes, snatching Neil’s notebook. “Hey!” Neil exclaims, halfheartedly reaching out to grab it back. Andrew gives him a look, glancing down at the paper.

He’s surprised to see himself, drawn in Neil’s steady hand. Fractions and formulas float behind him, but the drawing of Andrew, slumped down in his chair, hood over his face, remains real. Neil is looking at him, a curiously indecipherable expression on his face. Almost like he’s scared of what Andrew will think. Andrew sets the notebook down on the table, running his fingers over the drawing once, before carefully ripping the page out, folding it, and tucking it in his pocket for further study.

“That’s my homework,” Neil blithely remarks, like he didn’t just somehow change the entire course of Andrew’s day.

Andrew levels him a flat stare. “Do you want me to murder you?” Neil holds up his hands in mock defense, haphazardly shoving papers and his calc book back in his bag.

“You wanna get something to eat? Kevin threw out all the takeout last night,” Neil offers, carefully assessing Andrew. Doing the same to himself, Andrew wonders if he’s ready to be around others yet. He hasn’t thought of the past almost since Neil got here and decides he’d rather be with Neil in another place then sit here by himself. Not that he thought Neil would just leave if Andrew told him he wanted to stay.

He shoves his chair back in answer, throwing Neil’s backpack at him. Neil doesn’t grin but Andrew’s positive he wants to. He sees the twitch of Neil’s lips out of the corner of his eye and as Neil rounds the table to stand by him, Andrew pinches his wrist sharply. The touch is through a layer of clothes but Andrew feels a familiar wave of nausea, even though he was the one to initiate it. He snatches his hand away, reminding himself even though he’s not feeling quite as murderous, this is still a bad day where his demons lurk around every corner.

Neil curses, but merely sends Andrew a heated look. He seems to sense that Andrew’s not doing too well and shrugs his jacket on, zipping it up, his shirt getting stuck more than once. “Are you a fucking child?” Andrew snarls over his shoulder, attracting several disapproving pairs of eyes from around the library. Neil just laughs, breezing past him, holding the door open for Andrew, careful to make sure he’s out of the way.

“Want me to drive?” Andrew tosses Neil the keys in reply, even though every fiber of his being is aching to be in control. His urge to hurt something is returning and not even the biting cold is enough to distract him, although it keeps him grounded. He hasn’t felt detached since Neil can through the library doors, however and he’s trying to count that as a win.

The second he’s in the car and Neil sticks the keys in the ignition, Andrew cracks a window, digging through his pockets for a pack of cigarettes, his fingers trembling slightly. Neil doesn’t say anything, simply digs the lighter out of his pocket and cranks the heat so high Andrew can barely hear the rumbling bass playing on the radio.

They seem to be driving aimlessly for a while, sitting in silence, just the sound of the heater and the radio filling the space. Andrew doesn’t mind. It allows his mind to quiet, allows him to stare at the profile of Neil’s face, his brow furrowed slightly. Andrew’s on his second cig, passing it occasionally to Neil when they pull up to a small diner Andrew’s never been before.

Neil turns the car off, letting the keys drop through his fingers and into Andrew’s outstretched palm. He clenches his fist around them, the biting metal surprisingly grounding. Neil slides out of the car, but Andrew waits. He carefully tucks the keys back into his pocket, tries to spot Neil. His breathing is irrationally fast and Andrew slams his fist against the side of the car. Angry with himself, he climbs out of the car. Neil’s got his arms propped up on the roof of the car and the look he gives Andrew is surprisingly open.

Andrew thinks he appreciates this honestly, even unasked for, more than anything else Neil could give him. He knows Neil wants to help, knows he really can’t help, and this open, unflinching honesty is much more than Andrew deserves. But he’s a selfish person and he’ll take Neil’s unwavering support for as long as it’s offered.

Tugging his sweatshirt around him, Andrew wishes he had worn his coat instead. The wind is unforgiving and standing into it makes him feel like he can’t quite catch his breath. It makes him feel like he’s flying and it’s liberating. Neil goes to open the door, but Andrew shakes his head. “Order for me.”

Neil goes inside without question, leaving Andrew to kick at the cement. He sits on one of the parking stops outside the front, lighting another cigarette. He takes a drag, blows out the smoke, and lets the rest of it burn to the filter before he stubs it out. He fingers the knives inside his armbands, his fingers numbing. It’s almost 15 minutes later before he finally pulls himself up to go inside, the bell jingling cheerily above him.

Andrew’s not sure where Neil found this diner, because he feels like he just stepped back in time to the sixties. The booths are red and white laminate, the tiles the same color, although the white ones look like one too many cokes were spilled. There’s a jukebox in the corner, cheerily playing a Beach Boys song, and the waitress at the bar gives Andrew a hair too long of a lookover, clearly trying to reconcile his murderous expression with the neon orange sweatshirt he has on.

Andrew resists the urge to flip her off and makes his way towards the back where Neil has selected a booth where he can sit with his back to the wall. Andrew is slightly comforted by the reminder Neil has demons he has to fight as well.

He slides into the booth, grimacing slightly at the sticky feeling. Neil’s currently occupied with stuffing curly fries in his mouth, the plate in front of him looking like the site of a massacre. Neil overzealously uses ketchup and Andrew thinks it’s disgusting. Maybe Neil does it just so Andrew won’t snatch food off his plate.

There’s a chocolate milkshake, a giant plate of crinkle cut fries and a hamburger, plain except for bacon and a side of mustard. Andrew stares at the plate, unable to comprehend for a moment. He’s taken aback by Neil’s easy understanding of him, and the fuzziness of this morning seems like a distant memory. Andrew feels like he could feel any emotion he wanted right now, like he’s tethered to the ground by Neil’s hand.

He doesn’t say anything, just dunks three fries into his milkshake and stuffs them into his mouth. He’s about halfway through his plate of fries, Neil methodically picking apart the bun to his burger and occasionally trying to steal the bacon off his plate when Andrew’s phone starts buzzing on the table. He shoves it towards Neil, not in the mood to talk to anyone right this second and Neil takes one look at the caller ID before shutting it down.

Andrew’s phone starts buzzing again and Neil rolls his eyes. Andrew snorts, shoving another fry in his mouth. Swiping across his phone, Neil puts it on speaker. “Andrew’s phone, how may I help you?”

He can practically hear steam blowing out of Kevin’s ears, right before his accusing voice explodes out of the phone. “Where the fuck are you?” Kevin snaps, and Andrew would be pissed if he weren’t so amused by the look on Neil’s face.

“We decided to get lunch,” Neil replies blandly. “I was feeling antsy.” Andrew tries not to think too much into the way Neil covered for him, but he finds himself aching with the urge to kiss Neil senseless.

“It’s 3:30,” Kevin snaps, his voice taking on that emotionless tone that only happens when he’s good and truly pissed off. Andrew’s more confused by the time. He didn’t realize it was so late. Reaching over, he grabs Neil’s wrist, pushing his sleeve back to get a good look at his watch. Sure enough, it’s late afternoon. He’s not sure whether to focus more on the fact time slipped away from him, or the fact he’s holding Neil’s arm, and feels perfectly fine.

Neil’s trying to get Kevin off the phone, eventually just hanging up on him. He slumps down in his seat. “Fucker,” he groans, staring moodily across the table at Andrew. Andrew gets out of his seat, ignoring the way Neil looks up at him with confusion, only to slide into the booth on Neil’s side. “What are you doing?” Neil murmurs, like he’s barely breathing.

Andrew thinks if he can do this, can take control of the situation, he’ll be fine. He remembers the nausea of this morning, even touching Neil through his clothes and hopes he’s come down to earth more since then.

“Yes or no?” He won’t take this step without Neil, and the yes has barely fallen from Neil’s lips before Andrew kisses him.

It isn’t a nice kiss, not that many of them are, but Andrew is tender in the way he tugs on Neil’s hair to bring him closer, and the hovering of Neil’s hands over his shoulders make Andrew’s heart tighten. He trusts Neil and the fact he trusts Neil makes him angry and terrified beyond belief. He doesn’t ever want to stop feeling this way and knows if he ever does, his life would be meaningless.

They break apart, Neil panting slightly, his lips swollen and red and if they weren’t in a public place, Andrew would let Neil get down on his knees. The ache of this morning is gone, replaced by Neil’s breath against his face, the smell of the fries and the jukebox music, now playing a lively GoGos song.

“You okay?” Neil finally asks, the question Andrew knows has been on his mind since he woke to Andrew’s stony silence.

“118%,” Andrew whispers into his ear, enjoying the way Neil’s back arches slightly. Before Neil can say anything else, or recover his breath, Andrew’s kissing him again.

He thinks to himself, this is real this is real this is real. The thrumming of Neil’s heart underneath his palms is real and the flutter of his own is just as concrete. The lingering sweetness in his mouth from his milkshake is real and the music in the background is tangible. Andrew doesn’t know when “I hate yous” and percents became his own language for conveying emotions, but this is the most alive he’s felt today.

Neil’s fingers clenched in his sweatshirt pull him to earth and the insistent press of his tongue keep him in the moment. He knows they’ll have to go back eventually, have to face Kevin but Andrew isn’t thinking of that.

He’s lost in Neil, in this small bubble they’ve created for themselves. When they break apart again, Neil uses the opportunity to snatch another one of Andrew’s fries, and he scrambles for the butter knife to smack Neil on the knuckles. Neil lets out a surprised yelp, shock flitting over his features before he barks a laugh, his face open and pleased.

This is real.

#aftg fic #tfc fic #andreil fic #allforthegamenet #aftgnet #usernuwanda #mishsfamily #userlyra #userriya #*mw #andreil #text #hi i did a thing #all for the game #the foxhole court #lit

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jinshexedupworld-blog · 7 years ago

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Kdrama actor and Kpop artist confession. If you’re a fan of any Kceleb PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH

Edit: I was pretty direct in my original post but after some thought I have gone back through and censored the actors and artists names just a bit. I have a story to tell. Not sure anyone will hear it. Not sure they will believe it or even care but I’m going to tell it anyway because I have to get this off my chest. I studied for a couple of years at uni abroad in Korea. Koreans for fucks sake are some of the most antisocial bunch if you’re a foreigner I have to say. But thats not what this is about. I happened to make friends with this one guy, Andrew. He is part Korean but also had lived in Britain somewhere or other too so he was more welcoming to me. Seeing as he was almost my only friend there we quickly became close. Nice guy, a bit on the quirky side and didn’t talk much about his personal life to the point it was a little odd. He was very, very secretive. In fact the only really personal things he talked about was his job, school and the fact that he was a member of the LGBT community. When we would hang out it was always at my dorm or we would meet at a coffee shop or someplace. He never invited me to his place. I even got a wee bit frustrated with it and confronted him about it one day. He got more than a little nervous at that and made all these lame excuses about his room mates being busy and he didn’t want to disturb them or that we wouldn’t have much fun there. I was a bit annoyed at this but I let it slide. He was still a nice guy after all and my only close friend there and I enjoyed him. We had fun together. He was constantly getting texts and phone calls from people he called his friends or room mates. He even had a boyfriend that I knew literally nothing about! I felt a little left out. I would ask about them or about meeting them and there was always some vague explanation about them and some excuse why we couldn’t meet. At this point I had known him almost a year and still didn’t even know their names! Not even his boyfriends name! Then one day I asked to borrow his phone and he was unnecessarily protective of it. Yea I get it we’re all weird about anyone else having our phones but come on geez I was having transportation issues , had a dead phone battery and just needed to make a quick call. Long story short I get his phone and make my call. When I clicked end his contact list pops up and theres names in it I recognize. K-idol names. A mix of actors and Kpop artists. I just figure maybe hes some kind of fanboy and maybe he and his mysterious friends use celebrity name handles. Sorry but Kpop fans can be weird and obsessive sometimes, ya know? And he’s just a college boy. Who is he going to know really? Meanwhile Andrew had been distracted by someone he knew who had approached him and they were busy talking away. So my curiosity got the best of me and his screen hadn’t gone black yet, I still had access. So I go on a little snooping spree through his phone trying my best to not look suspicious. Yes I know I’m a bad person but I’m human what can I say? I kid you not, this guy has selca pics out the ass literally probably hundreds of himself with several Korean actors and idols. I couldn’t even mentally take in all of them. I know there were many many with E♦♦ members. I saw at least one with P♦♦♦ H♦♦♦♦ S♦♦ I think his name is? The actor and Z♦♦ guy and I think there was another Z♦♦ member in one of them too if I remember right. There were many with P♦♦♦ B♦ G♦♦, a few with N♦♦ members, one with who I think was a B♦♦ member and quite several with Y♦♦ S♦♦♦♦ H♦. Even several completely random mixed up ones. I was nervous and hurrying faster than my brain can process but I specifically remember one of Andew, B♦♦♦ B♦♦♦ H♦♦♦, B♦ G♦♦ and S♦♦♦♦ H♦ and someone else I didn’t recognize sitting on a couch laughing like they were having a grand ol time. I’m not even much of a Kceleb person but that one shocked me. He had another of K♦♦ J♦♦♦ D♦♦ and B♦ G♦♦ together. And thats just the ones I seen before I got nervous about getting caught. I have to say I was officially intrigued by him though after that. And they didn’t seem like fan pics! That’s what got me most. They looked too comfortable. And they didn’t look like they were taken at any sort of event, concert, fanmeet etc. They were all in normal clothes and sans makeup, in some they even had drink glasses and looked like they could have been in the comfort of their own home. Over the next few months, Andrew did finally start talking to me about it more. He happened to be a childhood friend of a K celeb. Somehow it all snowballed from that. Now he lives with a few of them and is dating one. I won’t go so far as to say which one but he has been for almost 3 years now. I found out he hides behind a “fan” account on Twitter under the name Guksu or JongdaesByuns … or Byunz maybe or some shit like that. Or thats what it used to be at least, I can’t say for certain now. I followed him for a bit before I deleted my Twitter account. I always found it funny he hid behind a fan account for all the people he actually knows. He explained to me that he does it more so for the purpose of supporting those he knows personally and for defending them and speaking out against wrongdoings {I’ll get to that shortly}, and from what I seen he really does. And of course when you’re in uni theres always boredom and the need for time passing. And though I was never much of a Twitter person either, it certainly passes time when you’re bored to death. He’s had several stalkers on there try to expose him. Fuck knows how they even knew because he always denies or is vague from what I’ve seen. And I even got to visit his house and meet a couple of these people . Those I mentioned above, maybe some others even I’m not sure, are all associated with him. I’ve never been a huge fan of K idols myself but I was around uni enough to recognize many, many of them and know some of their work. It’s still kind of weird finding out celebrities are friends with other idols you never suspected they would be. Made me laugh myself a bit at all the stupid fuckin fanwars I would overhear at uni. Fuck if people only knew. I’m not going to say a lot of shit on here because I know how crazy Kfans are and no one will probably believe this shit anyway. Fuck I saw it for myself and I still am in shock so I wouldn’t even blame anyone. But for what its worth, I’m putting it out there. Believe it or don’t, it’s whatever. Doesn’t really change my life any either way except hoping I will feel better having put this out there. Now onto my reasoning A few months ago I had to go back home and Andrew and I had a bit of a falling out before I left . Not going to get into that but we haven’t kept in contact since. But some of the things he told me still haunts me. About the Korean entertainment industry, both music and drama. The way these people are treated. I even heard it from two of them firsthand. There is so much I want to say but I have heard horror stories about what Korean entertainment companies do to people who speak out against them. I don’t really want to risk that. But if any of you watch Kdrama or listen to Kpop I hope you will keep in mind the amount of suffering those idols go through for your entertainment. The working until they pass out or sick, then being pulled up off the ground and told to get back to work. {side story: I was at Andrew’s house one night when one of the above mentioned people called another asking for a ride home from a set because he had worked 70+ hours straight and passed out several times. } Caking on more and more makeup to hide the fact that they are deathly exhausted. The physical, mental and sexual abuse. Yes sexual. And I’m not talking about isolated incidents. I’m talking about these things being the daily lives of K actors and Kpop artists. And absolutely everything that gets said about them publicly are lies. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G-. If it’s in any way personally related to them and you hear it , then its a fucking publicity lie. Where they live and their homes are lies. The cars they drive are lies. All set up. I mean considering how crazy and stalkery Kfans are and the fact that so many of them don’t know their boundaries or respect privacy, because yes I have seen this for myself so this much I can understand. But it goes much deeper than that. They don’t date who it is told to you that they date. This is probably the biggest one. Their real dating lives are kept creepily under lock and key and the relationship rumors all of you hear are always fake. A.L.W.A.Y.S. Sometimes even marriages and family lives are fake and set up. More so if its an LGBT idol. It’s seriously crazy on the verge of psychotic how far its taken to control these idols lives. And its because everything is considered a scandal in Korea. And fans go crazy over absolutely everything and drop and shit talk their idols over the most ridiculous shit. So these places they are contracted with go to extreme measures to have complete control over what the public knows. Some of them are gay, maybe a lot of them. But hey guys in the entertainment industry are much more likely to be gay I will tell you that now. I was in theater in middle school, high school and uni for close to 10 years and I probably knew less than 5 males in it that whole time who were NOT gay, or claimed they weren’t anyway. Gay men love the arts industries. Not trying to be stereotypical but its kind of a fact. And they’re good at it! So there ya go. I know how anti-LGBT Kfans tend to be so let me tell you, get yourself the fuck over it cause you have gay idols. Probably many. You being hard on them over that is just making their already miserable lives even worse. My only real reason for posting this is to just get all that shit off my chest. I’m not doing this for attention because honestly I couldn’t give two fucks in space what Kfans think. I don’t listen to Kpop or watch Kdramas and since I am no longer in Korea I’m not really exposed to it much at all so I don’t give a flying fuck what the fans of it think of me. And I don’t care to or have time for dealing with their crazy asses. I do want people to know what their idols go through for them just because I think its really fucked up and you all should know if you actually do care about these people. I won’t be responding to any replies or answering questions so don’t waste your time. I needed to get this out there, simple as that. I have lived carrying this with me for awhile now. It gets heavy guys. Really fucking heavy. It just makes me sick that human beings have to endure slave-like lives for those companies and theres really nothing we can do about it. Fuck its 2018 and this shit still goes on. I doubt this post will even get anyones attention but I guess in the very least I got it off my chest. Edit: Yea I know I maybe just exposed him myself but I don’t even know that he’s still active anymore. I haven’t had my Twitter account in quite some time. And he doesn’t use his full name or say much on there personally anyway so I’m not too worried. And like I said, we had a falling out so take that as you will.

Also a final side note for anyone who read this all the way through and isn’t too busy bitching me out: I have seen some of them scrolling through his Twitter profile/feed/whatever before. Several times actually. So yeah they do fuckin see the things you post.

#kdrama #kpop #korean celebrities

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angelimortisrp-blog · 7 years ago

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G L O R Y (&&) GORE — meet SAYID AMARI; the ICARUS.

“is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?”

{ ♚ AT A GLANCE }

name: Sayid Amari.

age: 35.

gender & pronouns: UTP.

occupation: Mechanic, owner of Nuts & Bolts (&) arms dealer for the Romano family.

loyalty: Romano.

availability: Open.

faceclaim: Rami Malek. ( non-negotiable. )

{ ♚ A DEEPER LOOK }

‘One minute I held the key, next the walls were closed on me.’ Lyrics echoed throughout the garage as Sayid worked, thinking about the irony behind that particular line. It was true; for a long while, he’d felt in control of his shop, of his business. That was, until the Angeli Mortis had come knocking. Sayid’s father had passed unexpectedly, leaving the business to his son - but without telling him about the debts he owed to the local criminal organisation. The Angeli Mortis had sent their heavyweights knocking - and Sayid hadn’t had a choice in agreeing to their terms. The operation had been explained in fairly simple terms; he smuggled weapons for them, dismantled and hidden in cars that were brought into the shop. Shipments came in once a month, pickups happened the night after. As far as they were concerned, Sayid was under their control until his father’s debts were paid off - and Sayid hadn’t the heart to ask how long that would take. It had been the same for almost five years; and the constant worry that the law would catch up with him was always in the back of Sayid’s mind.

{ ♚ A HISTORY LESSON }

For a short while in his childhood, Sayid Amari had it all. His family lived in a beautiful apartment in Manhattan - wealthy, respected, but unfortunately lacking any kind of familial atmosphere. The money was his mothers’, coming from old family inheritances that only seemed to double with every generation that passed. However, Sayid was in his early teens when his mother’s alcoholism quickly had taken that all away. He was thirteen when his parents divorced, with his mother retaining almost everything - a prenuptial agreement had made sure of that. Sayid and his father, Asim, moved into a small apartment in The Bronx and began to rebuild their lives from the ground up. It was somewhat freeing, to finally be away from the grasp of his mother, but starting from scratch turned out to be a little more difficult than he’d first anticipated.

Asim Amari had always been a handyman. For as long as Sayid could remember, his father had been the sole working provider for the family and had always owned a small car garage in Brooklyn, and had often taken his son to work with him when he didn’t have a babysitter. Sayid grew up with a passion for fixing things; constantly dismantling and reassembling his toys - and decided whilst he was in high school that he was going to follow in his father’s footsteps. Asim had always fully planned for his son to inherit what had become a family business and was more than willing to incorporate his child, instilling the same hardworking beliefs into Sayid that he had.

Sayid, however, had never learned how his father’s business remained so successful. In an economy that always seemed to be failing in some way or another - a small family business like Nuts & Bolts shouldn’t have survived. Yet, it did. It wasn’t until his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer that he decided to reveal the truth. Well, half of the truth. On his deathbed, his father had informed his son that he was involved in something criminal, and had asked Sayid to stay out of it. Sayid, with no idea what his father meant, had thrown himself into working in the car garage after his father’s passing and had believed everything was fine - until the Angeli Mortis came knocking.

It was then that the entire operation was explained to him. His father had been working as an arms supplier for a local crime family - having the guns smuggled in through cars brought into the shop, dismantling, reassembling and then selling them on to the Romano family. It all seemed absurd to Sayid - this was clearly what his father had warned him to stay away from. He’d tried to resist at first, but The Angeli Mortis weren’t going to let that happen. He was advised that his father owed debts to the Romano family - and that Sayid would work until they were paid off. Sayid didn’t want to ask how long that would be for - but from the proceeding years, it seemed that it was going to be a long time.

Sayid has been working for the city’s criminal organisations ever since. Nothing in his schedule has changed. He provides twice monthly drop offs for the family and collects his profits at the end of the month. It keeps his business afloat and pays his bills - and although he struggles with the legality and morality of his decisions, he’s consistently reminding himself that this was not his choice. He was forced into it by his father’s decisions before him, and he has no way out now.

{ ♚ NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT }

Working for the Angeli Mortis had brought a sense of job security to Sayid Amari. He knew, like his father before him, that as long as he was providing them with guns, they’d provide him with business. However, it wasn’t destined to remain that way. 2017 came with terrible news; the death of Michael Romano was enough to shake everyone within the family to their core, but with Juliet’s death following so close after, Sayid’s head was left spinning. There had to be an explanation for it, but what would that be? Digging around in Mafia business should be something he kept his nose far out of, but his curiosity got the better of him. For the few he trusts within the mob, he’s been asking questions - but all fingers are pointing to each other. The breakdown of the Angeli Mortis has left him on edge, unsure of where he stands within both families - if he stands anywhere at all, that is. He’s spending time figuring himself out and what he’d like to be as an arms dealer, but with violence beginning to surround on all sides - it’s only so long before he’s dragged into it, too.

{ ♚ ABOUT THE PERSONALITY }

+: observant, rational, intelligent, passionate -: reluctant, isolated, pessimistic, weak-willed

Sayid, although a confident young man, has always been slightly more fearful than his father. In himself, he’s comfortable, but when it comes to facing the Romano family, he’s somewhat of a frightened little boy. He wishes for nothing more than the Romano family to move on and leave him and his business alone, but he knows it’ll never happen. Sayid, however, does pay incredibly close attention to things going on around him and has, of course, noticed the divide in the Angeli Mortis since the deaths of Michael and Juliet. He can’t help but fear that his job, and life, may be on the line - but perhaps he’s ready to reach a stage where he can make peace with his wrongdoing. Sayid Amari is not a fighter, and tends to keep himself to himself more often than not. Outside of his monthly arms deals, Sayid tries his hardest to distance himself from the criminal side of the city - but with most of the people he knows being involved in some way, it’s always difficult to remain away from the grasp of the Romano family for long.

{ ♚ FRIENDS & FOES }

♠ Michael McCoy ( DISTRIBUTOR / FRIEND ) - “mick, how do you live with yourself? y’know, knowing that you’re supposed to protect people from this shit?” ; Michael McCoy was one of the first Romano family members that Sayid had the pleasure ( or misfortune ) of meeting. In the beginning, he had no idea that the man was a police officer, but as their friendship continued, each began to ask questions about the other. Sayid discovered that Mick had only become involved through trying to protect his sister - but was now in over his head. Caoimhe was the true displeasure to meet - arrogant, manipulative, and feeling that the world revolved around her, Sayid avoids her at all costs. However, Michael and Sayid have grown into strong friends, and Sayid is finding more and more support in the man with the currently tumultuous feeling in Manhattan - he knows that he needs all the support he can get, but doesn’t have too many sources to seek help from.

♠ Andrew Gibbins ( DISTRIBUTOR / FRIEND ) - “i don’t know who’s going to get in more trouble here, andrew. you, or me...” ; Whilst the Angeli Mortis were still a functioning organisation, working with those associated with the Venturi family was completely fine. Encouraged, actually, depending on where your loyalties lay. After the death of both Michael Romano and Juliet Venturi, these criminals are playing in an entirely different ball game. Territories have been split back to what they were before the Angeli Mortis - and for Nuts & Bolts, that was solely Romano territory. Andrew and Sayid had struck up a strong friendship during that time, but after the fall of the Angeli Mortis, Sayid is wondering if he should be reconsidering. He continues to provide arms to Andrew and has ensured that all of his current deals are carried out under the table - trying to make sure that the Romano family don’t catch wind of it - and has begun to order extra in his shipments to ensure he can keep up with the demand. He’s concerned that there will be trouble if he’s caught - but on the other hand, losing a valuable friend and client may not be worth it, either.

♠ The Romano Family ( ASSOCIATES ) - “i never asked to be a part of this, you know. i never wanted to be a criminal.” ; Working with the Romano family would never have been something Sayid would have chosen to do. He’s never fully understood why his father would have chosen to work for a criminal organisation - but there are debts to be paid and he can’t back out now. In working with the crime family though, Sayid can’t deny that he’s made some friends. He’s forged a friendship with Isabella Romano, although he is unaware of her part in Michael Romano’s murder, and he’s partial to spending time with Oliwia Ajeti, feeling that both of them are in similar positions when it comes to their places within the mob - although he is not as well adjusted as she is.

{ ♚ EXTRAS }

character teaser.

inspiration tag.

gif hunts.

SAYID IS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE FOR AUDITIONS.

#rami malek fc #bio rpg #lsrpg #rpg #gang rp #crime rp #sayid amari #sayidbio #open #romano #all

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soldierstark · 8 years ago

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Why Am I Like This | Part 3 | JUGHEAD JONES X READER

Description: Archie continues to bagger Jughead about his feelings for the reader hoping he'll realize it will be better in the long run if she knows. Later in the day, Jughead comes home to see Archie and the reader asleep next to each other after they fell asleep practicing for their upcoming performance at the homecoming dance which leads to an interesting event between him and the reader.

Word Count: 1758

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Jughead was starting to see the effects of Homecoming week all around Riverdale high. Banners were being hung up in hallways, girls were dressing up nicer trying to get last minute dates, and new relationships were getting formed every day.

It made Jughead sick to his stomach with longing. The whole feeling was new to him, he had never longed to be able to hold a girl’s hand in the hallway or be the reason a girl smiles filled with love. But things were different this year, for the first time he wanted to be able hold a girl’s hand in the hallway or make her smile filled with love.

Things were getting easier though, now that Archie knew of his un-denying affection for (Y/N) Jughead finally had someone to vent too. It was better than keeping it all bottled up or writing about it on his computer, he had learned his lesson.

Jughead stared out of the window as Archie drove them to school, taking the scenic route. Trees blurred by along with the occasional runner, not another car in sight. Out of nowhere, Archie started slowing down causing Jughead to lurch forward.

Archie pressed a button and the window next to Jughead’s face rolled down. The car continued to slow until they ended up traveling next to a familiar (Y/H/C) girl.

(Y/N)’s hair was plastered to her face with sweat but she still managed to look amazing. No one could rock running shorts and a pull over Nike jacket quite like she did. She was deep in thought and didn’t even notice that Jughead and Archie were driving alongside her.

Jughead cleared his throat. “Damn shawty you looking fine this morning. Wanna give me yo digits?” (Y/N) whipped her head around and smiled brightly when she saw her friends.

“Hey guys what’s up?” she said between labored breathes. (Y/N) grabbed onto the window next to Jughead to keep pace with the car.

“We’re heading school obviously. Where else would be going on a Tuesday at 7:45,” Archie deadpanned. (Y/N) rolled her eyes and let out a dry chuckle. “I just wanted to stop and ask if we were still on tonight,” Archie said.

She nodded her head. “Yea I’ll meet you around 7:00. Hey, any of ya’ll nerds got some water?”

Jughead reached down by his feet and grabbed a water bottle from the side pocket of his backpack. He stuck his hand out of the window and handed to (Y/N) who started drinking it thankfully. “Thanks Jug. What would I ever do without you?” she gasped out giving back the bottle

“You’d probably denigrate into a pile of dust,” he quipped with a charming smile.

(Y/N)’s cheeks splurged a tinge of pink but Jughead didn’t think anything of it. “How far are we from the school?” she asked.

Archie shrugged his shoulders. “2 and a half miles give or take.”

“Alright,” she replied backing away from the car. “I don’t want to make ya’ll late. I’ll try to meet you guys by Archie’s locker before I head to the showers during 1st period. See you in like 12 minutes.”

“Peace homie,” Archie waved before pressing the gas. Once they reached cruising speed, Jughead took a swig from his water bottle. Archie laughed.

“What,” Jughead asked suspiciously.

“You basically just kissed (Y/N) Jughead. How do you feel having finally kissed the girl of your dreams?”

Jughead sighed dramatically and went back to staring out the passenger side window. “Freaking fantastic Archie just great,” he mumbled.

“Honestly Jughead, you really need to just tell her. (Y/N) a babe dude and it’s not gonna be long until some other guy comes along and steals her heart. Don’t miss your chance.”

“You mean like Matthew Jackson?” Jughead spat.

“Oh did I not tell you? Yea that’s not happening. She turned him down,” Archie said whilst turning into the school parking lot.

Jughead sat up straight and looked at Archie in disbelief. “Really? Why?”

Archie chuckled at his friend’s enthusiasm. “She said that dances weren’t really her thing and that she’d only go if the guy she liked asked her. Plus he isn’t her type apparently.”

“The tragedy continues. First she doesn’t like me back and now she likes someone else.”

Archie groaned as he pulled into a parking spot. “You don’t know that for sure. For all we know the guy she likes could be you! Which is why you need to tell (Y/N) that you like her.”

“What if I tell her and she actually doesn’t like me back? Huh? She might not to even be friends after that.”

Archie cut the engine to his car and looked at his best friend. “I know you don’t want to hear me say this Jughead, but at this point I think that’s a risk you’re just gonna have to take.” And with that Archie exited his car.

“What the fuck?”

A deep throaty groan erupted from my mouth as I sat up straight rubbing my eyes dazedly. I opened my eyes and looked around noticing that I was not in my room and that Jughead was in the doorway staring at me with an expression I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Hey Jug what’s up,” I said with a yawn.

He walked into the room and sat his backpack down near the door. “I was just about to ask you the same question. Why are you and Archie taking a nap together?”

I looked down where I was sitting and saw Archie Andrews passed out next to me gripping his guitar loosely. The notebook we wrote our song notes in was under my right leg.

“Oh I guess we must’ve fallen asleep practicing,” I said looking back up at Jughead who I swear was getting more and more attractive every time I saw him.

His blue eyes that were usually a light blue were darker and his lips were pressed into a fine line. We started at each other for a moment in complete silence.

“You look mad. Why?” I asked standing up off of Archie’s bed.

Jughead crossed his arms. “I’m not mad.”

“Uh huh,” I replied with a raised eyebrow. “Whatever I’m not gonna push it but I guess I should get going. I don’t think Archie and I are gonna get much practice in today.”

Jughead sat down on his makeshift bed and looked up at me. “You can stay if you want. We have video games and junk food plus Archie is a really heavy sleeper. Trust me, he won’t wake up.”

I smiled at sat down to him, our shoulders touching. “Well how could I possibly say no to spending time with my favorite person in all of Riverdale.”

He stuck out his bottom lip giving me pouty face. “Not the whole world?”

I grabbed the X-box remotes and handed him one with a smirk. “You know Percy Jackson will always hold the key to my heart.”

Jughead chuckled and looked up at the TV setting up the game we were playing. “So he’s your type then?”

“What do you mean?” I asked glancing away from the game we were playing for a split second.

“Archie told me that you turned down Matthew Jackson because he wasn’t your type.”

“He did, did he? Well yes Matthew Jackson isn’t my type but I didn’t turn him down for that sole reason,” I replied.

Jughead nodded his head in my peripheral vision. “I know, he filled me in,” he said dryly. “What is your type anyway?”

"Wouldn’t you like to know,” I laughed bumping my shoulder against his playfully.

“(Y/N) you messed me up! But yes actually I would like know.”

“Well,” I trailed off. “Most guys I find attractive have really light colored eyes and long dark hair. Not like, man bun long, but longer than normal you know? He needs to have the same sense of humor that I do and be able to accept the fact that I would totally destroy him in a fight.”

“And the guy you like fits this description?”

A noise came out of the TV signaling the end of our match, which I had won. I dropped my controller in my lap and turned my head towards Jughead. We were sitting leg to leg, shoulder to shoulder. My skin tingled at the contact, making me want to shiver though I wasn’t cold.

He turned to look at me, his crystal blue eyes a mere 3 inches away. We were so close that I could see every freckle adorned on his face like constellations. My lips parted involuntarily as we continued to stare at each other in utter silence. Our breath mingled together while a faint pink tinge appeared on Jughead’s cheeks.

“Perfectly,” I whispered, answering his earlier question.

Neither of dare move an inch though I really wanted to. It was taking every ounce of will power I had to not shove Jughead against his bed and make out with him like a crazy hormonal teenager. Which is ironic because that’s pretty much exactly what I was.

Jughead reached a hand up, tantalizingly slow. My heart pounded in my chest, thumping like the erratic fire of a machine gun. His fingers gently brushed a piece of my (Y/H/C) hair behind my ear then cupped my cheek. I leaned into his touch not once breaking eye contact, enjoying the sensation of his thumb stroking my cheek.

His head started to move closer while his eyelids fluttered closed. Jughead’s hand gently pulled my face towards his and I gladly complied. I tilted my to the side and closed my eyes, anticipating the pressure of his soft lips against mine in a way that I knew would feel oh so good.

And at that very moment, right when Jughead and I were about to kiss, Archie awoke with a start and fell off of his bed. Jughead and I sprung apart with wide eyes and looked down at Archie who was laying on the floor in a heap of blankets.

“What the hell?” he mumbled in a rough voice. Archie opened his eyes looking quite disoriented, then sat up rubbing his head.

“Good morning sunshine,” I cooed trying to seem nonchalant.

Archie lifted his guitar that fell on the floor next to him and placed it on his bed. “Did I fall asleep practicing?”

“We did,” I corrected him while standing up. “I’m gonna head out. See you guys tomorrow.”

And on that I note I exited the room swiftly not once looking back.

Tagged: @kitkat510

#Jughead jones #Jughead jones x reader #Jughead x reader #Jughead jones fanfiction #Jughead fanfiction #Jughead fic #Jughead jones fic #riverdale #riverdale fanfiction #fanfiction #off #riverdale x reader #riverdale fic

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kiatastic · 8 years ago

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Fall

The deep exhales of breath released from my nostrils became visible in the crisp, cold air around me. Tree branches hovered over my head as the sun filtered its beaming rays through hues of green, red and yellow leaves. Each step I took was followed by a crunch – the sound of fallen leaves under my feet. As beautiful as fall is, there is also a harsh reality:

When leaves fall, they die.

Similar to the pruning process autumn brings, there were leaves in my own life that had to fall while transitioning from the dorm room to the boardroom – habits, tendencies and character flaws that had to die if I ever wanted to grow. Moving away from Atlanta to start my career began as the loneliest season of my life. At the same time, it brought new opportunity to experience the Lord for myself, allow Him to change me and experience Him in new ways. Andy Mineo said it best in one of my favorite songs:

“I was so far from home – and everything that I’ve known. But I got grown in that time alone and that faith became my own.”

I was an anxious college-graduate. Ready to leave those awfully flavored 5-hour energy shots behind me in the KSU Sturgis Library. Eager to box my work within the parameters of 8am – 5pm. Prepared for the ultimate corporate office slay! I was also entirely wrong to believe my most challenging years were behind me. In the words of my late grandfather Charles W. Little, "All your life you are a freshman". I was at the top of my game as a college graduate and at the bottom of the largest learning curve of my life – all at the same time.

Before starting my job I was required to make a pit stop at Indiana University for 3 weeks of training sponsored by the Company known as Immersion I. Think of it as an intense boot camp for rookies in Corporate America. I met all 150 of my colleagues in the Digital Technology Leadership Program from around the world including Brazil, France, India and Egypt – and they were truly the brightest minds I’ve ever met. Each morning began with a quiz on previously reviewed material. The remaining hours were spent in C# building our capstone applications – a language I did not learn in school. I seemed to be the only one starting from ground zero. While many of my colleagues could afford to go out at night after class, I expended several hours in my hotel room learning the very basics. 11:00 pm turned into 2:00 am. 2:00 am turned into 4:00 am. 4:00 am turned into resurfaced doubts as I reflected on all I accomplished in college. From being named a top 5 IS student to winning Miss Alpha South – I started wishing I were back at KSU.

Thoughts and feelings from the previous night lingered in my head the following morning as I talked myself into finally putting my feet on the floor… so much for ditching those artificially grape-flavored 5-hour energy shots. While eating breakfast, an email notification appeared on my phone titled “Short Daily Devotion” – a daily email I receive with a short scripture and word of encouragement. The Lord put my thoughts in check with Isaiah 43:18-19:

“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.”

After all the Lord brought me through in college, I had not really learned to trust Him. It was obvious through my desire to retreat back to a season that presented more comfort – but the only place to fully blossom is in the soil the Lord chooses to plant us. That is where His grace and perfect will reside.

I walked back to my hotel room stiff as a board – the Lord had just snatched my entire life with one scripture. I approached my room and heard a voice singing, “You are the Living Word” by Fred Hammond. It was Rachel – another colleague from my Company. I said to myself “she MUST be a believer!” We ended up going out for Endless Wing Monday at a bar that evening. From that moment to this one Rachel has been one of my closest, dearest friends. I never expected to meet a colleague at work who was also a strong Christian. The Lord orchestrated our friendship in the time I needed it most.

Three weeks passed as boot camp came to a close. Aside from earning an A in my first graduate course, my group was awarded for having the best capstone project out of all 150 colleagues in the class. I reflected back on day 1 and remembered how intimidated I was by everyone around me. Since high school, I have always had an unhealthy habit of comparing myself to others. I habitually convinced myself that I was not smart enough, experienced enough or good enough to be among the best. The problem is – there is no win in comparison. When I compare myself to others and come out on top, it breeds pride. When I compare and come out underneath, it produces false humility. Both are wrong. There is absolutely no competition for your seat at God’s table. Only you are eligible for the plans the Lord has for you.

After leaving Indiana, I flew home to get my car and drove to my new home in Jackson, TN. The commute to work was about an hour. I spent my rotation delivering software solutions to bridge gaps in the manufacturing processes on the shop floor. Fresh out of college, I knew absolutely nothing about engineering or manufacturing IT. I had Google pulled up on every phone call to look up all the terms and acronyms I did not understand. I quickly got up to speed by enrolling in free SAP classes and setting up 1x1 meetings with electrical engineers. A typical day included walking the factory floor in goggles, steel-toed boots and earplugs – so much for that ultimate corporate office slay.

Outside of work, I spent most of my weekends alone. Jackson, TN wasn’t exactly overpopulated with young professionals. Solo movie dates and online shopping became regular weekend pleasantries. I needed to get involved with a church ASAP and find some less expensive hobbies. Upon my first visit to a nearby church the pastor told me Jesus Christ was not my savior because I had not been baptized specifically in their congregation. I left in tears – devastated by the twisted approach they taught on the Word of God. I learned that day how important is to know the Word for myself. That evening I went for a walk around my apartment complex saying “Lord, if you don’t lead me directly to a new church home… I think I’d rather attend Bedside Baptist! I cannot risk experiencing that again and I need your help. Show me what to do.”

The next week I was leaving the factory floor when a man named Andre noticed me. He introduced himself and said, “Hey, I’ve seen you around and heard you’re new in Tennessee.” I looked down and noticed a brochure he was holding in his hand. “I would like to invite you to my church, Historic First Baptist”, he continued. Immediately, I remembered my prayer to the Lord. Overwhelming joy took over my countenance as I replied, “You have no idea how crazy this is. I JUST prayed for a church recommendation on Sunday!” I met Andre and his wife at HFBC that Sunday. It was more traditional than I was used to – but Pastor Watson taught on the foundation of the Bible and that was most important to me. There was no time to waste. I joined THAT Sunday. Throughout my time in Tennessee Andre and his wife, Liakita were my God-sent blessings. They encouraged me to take the New Member’s class and introduced me to so many people there. My circle of friends outside of work was birthed at HFBC. They even encouraged me to grow in my relationship with the Lord. Although I wasn’t perfect with daily quiet time, I did my best to set aside Saturday mornings to pray and read my Bible.

One Saturday in particular, I spent my morning watching a sermon on YouTube recommended by my friend Gabby called “Five Keys to Finding Your Soul Mate.” I had my pen and notepad ready – finding bae was a priority on my to-do list. The pastor, Toure Roberts made an altar call for loneliness at the end of the sermon. To my own frustration and disappointment, what I took away from that sermon had nothing to do with finding bae. Instead, the Lord brought an ugly truth in me to light – a void of loneliness.

I never knew I was lonely because I often “talked” to guys I never had any business considering. To fix that the Lord moved me to a place where I had no choice but to “talk” to Him. There were no longer casual movie dates or “good-morning, beautiful” text messages to fill my void. I began to realize that “trying to fill an infinite hole with a finite thing or person only leaves an insatiable appetite that can never be fully and finally satisfied.” Any attempt to fill a God-sized void with selfish pleasures (no matter how harmless they seem) will fail every time. The Holy Spirit showed me that the part of my life I wanted to control was the part He wanted most. I paused the YouTube video while going into one of the most unorthodox cries I have ever had. For the first time I became aware of God’s relentless pursuit of me – and my half-hearted acknowledgement of His love in return.

“… Every man’s emptiness is nothing more than a hunger for God, masked by temporary pleasures. We always want more and more of it, because it will satisfy us less and less – until soon it does not satisfy us at all.”

I had tried several times to surrender my love life (or lack thereof) to the Lord – but never sincerely meant it. I regretfully acknowledge that He had to strip me of all options to win my undivided attention. “For the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a Jealous God (Exodus 34:14).” In complete vulnerability and transparency with Him, His love ushered me into His perfect peace – a need for no one else but Him.

That same evening I received a FaceTime call from my close friend, Drew. Andrew became my go-to Alpha during my time serving as Miss Black & Gold at KSU. However, we became friends through a Bible study group the Lord led me to start during my junior year of college. After expressing how much he valued our friendship, he shared that night that he had feelings for me he could not quite put his finger on. Immediately, I said in my head “Lord, you’ve got a serious sense of humor. I know I just cried my eyes out about being single – but this is not what I wanted. Drew is my friend! I can’t date him.” Still, I was pleasantly shocked to be pursued (for the first time) by a God-fearing man. I knew Drew personally as a friend for years. I have even tried to hook him up with a friend in the past! I told him I did not know how to feel about it. He assured me that if I did not feel the same way, he would still love me as a friend. Surely this man was from another planet. Never in my life had a man with such humility and Godly love approached me the way he did.

When it was time to wrap up my first rotation in Tennessee, Drew surprised me by driving to Jackson to help pack up my apartment. I told him my company was paying all the expenses for movers to come pack – but he insisted on coming anyway. He stayed in the hotel across the street and never insinuated wanting anything out of me. I became drawn to the sincerity and Godliness of his heart. Although I thought about him often, I knew the Lord was still working on me. I read a book called “Your Knight and Shining Armor” by P.B. Wilson. At the end of it I concluded I was not ready to date anyone – there were parts of me that needed work first. Drew and I remained friends for the next several months.

Two days before my rotation ended, I pitched out my final results from my rotation to several executives and business leaders. I made friends with so many people in the factory – they even brought in home-cooked dishes on my last day! I was thanked personally by the CIO of the business for going to work alone in a factory without any IT colleagues or mentors. It was an a-typical situation for someone new to the Company, but the Lord was my Source through it all.

In Tennessee, I learned that my weaknesses are the best platforms for God to teach me about His power. In Judges 7, the Lord commanded Gideon to slash his army down to 300 men before going into battle. It wasn’t about terrifying Gideon – it was about stripping away anything that could suggest that God was not the reason for his victory. These are win-win scenarios - the Lord is glorified and our faith is strengthened in the process.

As soon as I started to build my network, understand supply chain IT and become comfortable in my new city… it was time to do it all over again. One rotation down - three left to go. I packed the few remaining valuables from my apartment in my Honda accord and headed to my second rotation in Houston, TX. The autumn leaves had fallen, but a new season was on the way. Bundle up – winter is coming.

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hamilficsfordays · 8 years ago

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Yes to Abort, No to Miscarry (Lin/Reader/Vanessa)

Prompt: This is based on a very personal, painful experience that I suffered through relatively recently. Thanks to @secretschuylersister for reading and taking time to listen. I’m so grateful.

Author’s Note: It took a lot of courage to even consider posting this. If you’re reading this and thinking: “Man, this girl could really use a hug.” You’re right.

Pairing: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader/Vanessa Nadal (polygamy)

Summary: An unexpected pregnancy shakes things up in your new relationship. You agree to end it, but you might not get a chance.

Rating: T for language and sensitive subjects.

Warnings: I was originally going to end this with a threesome, but I figured I didn’t need to share everything. We’ll cross that bridge another day.

Words: 5527

Tags:

@huffleheyguys

Askbox / Masterlist / What I Write

It hit you rather surprisingly.

There was a chuckle from the crowd as Lin went back and forth about his writing process with Andrew Lloyd Webber. You were sat next to Vanessa in the audience and managed to chuckle until a sharp pain in your lower abdomen caught you by surprise.

You sucked in a breath, shocked by the sensation and told yourself not to be concerned. You’d been in London since Thursday morning, flying in from New York for the long weekend to visit Lin and Vanessa. What was once a long-standing friendship between the three of you had eventually evolved into a (not quite defined) polygamous relationship.

Your undefined relationship began overseas, with them in London as Lin worked on Mary Poppins Returns. You had agreed to wait until they returned to the states in June to act on anything, but waiting proved to be difficult. Lin insisted on buying you a round trip ticket to come visit. After some hesitation, you agreed.

While it was rewarding to spend days on set with him among a host of talented actors and to spend time with his family, you couldn’t deny that your favorite parts were the more personal, erotic moments.

Once in his dressing room at work, and a few times in the guest room they had you staying in at home. You couldn’t get enough of each other.

That was a month ago.

When you had arrived for a second time on Thursday, V seemed immediately suspicious of what you claimed were “side effects of your birth control”. Nausea, vomiting, fatigue and frequent urination were hard to ignore, especially having been pregnant only a few years before. She left for work that morning and came back that evening with a pregnancy test.

“I got you a gift.” she had started, catching you off guard as you were headed into the bathroom for the umpteenth time that day.

“Oh…” you took the small plastic bag from her, feeling a cardboard box inside. “V, you didn’t have to get me any…”

Your voice trailed off as you pulled the box out. It was a pregnancy test, something you’d been avoiding despite obvious symptoms and friendly advice for at least a week.

“I don’t think I need this,” you tried.

“Just take it.” she insisted, with a small smile. “What could it hurt?”

“Vanessa, I’m not pregnant. It’s probably just my hormones acting up from my birth control—”

“Prove me wrong.” she interrupted. “Take the test. If you aren’t pregnant, we can pretend this never happened.”

You knew if you refused that she would only continue to insist. You sighed, taking the test into the bathroom with you.

It all led up to Sunday night. There you sat, knowingly pregnant with the father of your child onstage.

You had plans to fly home the next day and schedule an appointment to have an abortion performed. There were a lot of things you needed (a better paying job, a bigger apartment, the ability to be a stronger writer), but a baby was not one of them.

Once the cramps started, they wouldn’t stop. You were sure you had read somewhere that cramping in the early stages of pregnancy was normal. You’d experienced it once or twice before, but it was never this bad.

Your physical discomfort was hard not to notice. Beside you, Vanessa was well aware of your sudden change in demeanor.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” you lied.

The interview was nearly over. As the interviewer asked for one final question, you felt slightly relieved knowing you would be on your way home soon.

When the event came to an end, a fair amount of audience members headed out. Others (a number of writers and performers that you weren’t familiar with) stayed behind.

The look on Lin’s face as some of the writers began to approach made you feel less confident about being able to leave right away.

He seemed ecstatic; eager to speak to each of them.

You tried to stay strong—you didn’t want to ruin the night for him—but your abdominal cramps were getting stronger and would not be deterred.

He was mid conversation alongside Andrew Lloyd Webber and another person you didn’t recognize. You tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to you, politely excusing himself from the other conversation.

“What’s up?”

“I’m really sorry for interrupting—” you started.

“Hey, don’t apologize. It’s no big deal. Are you okay?” he seemed to notice you looked somewhat distressed.

“I uh… I’m not feeling too well. I’m gonna catch a cab back to your place.”

“A cab? No, I’ll have the car brought around. V and I can come with you—” he offered.

“Lin, no, seriously you should stay. I’m fine. I’ll just take a hot shower. Besides I’ve never seen you so excited to talk to a group of white people I don’t recognize.”

He chuckled. “You’re sure you’re fine on your own?”

You nodded, putting on your best reassuring face. “I’m good.”

Because you were only visiting, you didn’t exactly have any British currency on you. Lin pulled a few bills from his wallet and handed them to you, assuring you’d get home safely.

He glanced around briefly to make sure no one was looking before planting a kiss on your forehead.

“Get home safe.”

You hailed a cab outside the theatre and gave the driver the right address. It wasn’t a long drive, but it felt like an eternity. You were curled up in the back seat wincing in pain as your cramps pressed on. You could see the driver glancing at you in the rearview mirror as though he was concerned for you, but still, he said nothing and took you home.

You rushed as fast as you could inside and to the bathroom, past the babysitter who was quietly reading a book on the couch. Once the door was shut, you tore your clothes off and sprinted into the shower—pausing under the searing hot water. The relief was only moderate, not quite what you expected. You tried moving the showerhead so that the water landed directly on your abdomen, but that wasn’t relieving either.

The cramps were getting worse by the minute. The hot water was only irritating your skin, so you turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

The cold tile floor felt nice on the bottom of your feet. You resorted to lying on the floor, curled up in a fetal position. You took deep breaths, closed your eyes, and tried to focus on anything but the pain.

You didn’t know how much time had passed when you opened your eyes again. You thought you’d heard a noise from outside the bathroom but you didn’t have the strength to get up and check. You shifted your legs slightly, feeling a warm, sticky sensation on your thigh that caught you by surprise. You opened your eyes and slowly sat up to find blood pooled around your legs.

The sight of so much blood shook you. You glanced across the room at your pants, sat on the floor where you’d pulled them off before stepping into the shower. There was a small blood stain in the fabric that you hadn’t noticed until now.

You knew what this meant. The abdominal cramping, the bleeding… it wasn’t hard to guess.

It was only a few days ago that you considered the option of having an abortion and were relieved to hear Lin and Vanessa agree.

You didn’t need a child right now. You didn’t have the time or the money to take care of one, nor did you even want to—at least not for another decade if at all. Still, there you sat on the bathroom floor in a pool of your own blood bursting into tears.

A knock at the door halted your thoughts.

“Y/N?” you heard Vanessa call out. “Are you okay?”

“I’m… I’m fine—” your voice cracked, revealing your emotional state.

“It’s been two hours, Y/N.” Lin pointed out. “Have you been in the bathroom this whole time?”

“I’m fine,” you repeated, more firmly. “I just need to be alone right now.”

You tried to stand up and grab a towel from the rack on the wall but slipped. You were mostly covered in blood, hardly able to get up off of the floor. The pain had only gotten worse over time. There was another knock at the door. You shouted back that you were fine, that you didn’t need help though it wasn’t true.

The sound of a key unlocking the door forced you to poorly cover yourself up with your hands, leaning against the cabinet underneath the sink.

The door opened slowly, revealing the two of them shocked, standing in the doorway.

“There's so much blood. There’s so much blood. I can’t—” you managed. Your emotions rushed to the surface again, forcing you into tears.

Lin kneeled by your side, doing his best to comfort you. Though you felt slightly calmer beside him, even he couldn’t stop you from nearly hyperventilating.

“I can’t hold a job for more than a year, I can finish my degree, I can’t even keep a baby that I don’t want.” you finally said. “What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.” he insisted, wiping the tears off of your face. “This isn’t your fault.”

You took his hand in yours, squeezing it as you struggled through the abdominal pain.

“I think I need to go to a hospital.” you managed, breathing heavily. “I need to see a doctor.”

They called for an ambulance and managed to clean you up and get clothes on you before EMS arrived. Though it was after 11 and he knowingly had to be up at 6:30 for work the next day, Lin insisted on going with you. Vanessa stayed home with Sebastian while he rode with you in the ambulance to the hospital.

Every bump in the road or hard turn was excruciating. Lin struggled to see you in so much pain. He held your hand through the whole thing, attempting to be supportive as he couldn’t do much else.

When you arrived, the doctor asked for both a blood and urine sample both to make sure that you were pregnant and to see what was causing the complications.

A tall male nurse offered you ibuprofen which you refused, despite still dealing with significant cramping. You had an allergy—or rather, a sensitivity to it. It was never an issue as you only experienced menstrual cramps maybe once in your life. Now, however, it seemed like a more pressing issue.

A few hours passed waiting for the results. The ER seemed particularly busy that evening. It was almost two in the morning and Lin was still by your side, though you felt a little guilty about messing with his schedule.

“You should go home.” you insisted. “You have to be up in a few hours.”

“I’m not leaving you.” he took your hand, lacing your fingers with his. “I’m here for you, Y/N. No matter what.”

You squeezed his hand, mostly because you were grateful for the support but also because you were still in pain.

After a few more minutes your doctor returned.

“Sorry to keep you both waiting.” Dr. Warring started, moving to your bedside. Her accent was somewhat comforting, if only because you weren’t used to it. She was dressed rather glamorously for a doctor, wearing an expensive looking dress and heels.

“Your HCG levels were higher than average but not as high as they would be during a typical pregnancy at this stage. It’s likely at this point given the heavy bleeding and cramping that you’re having a miscarriage.”

Your first reaction was to glance at Lin, who already seemed to be gauging your reaction.

You knew how you felt about having children and you were sure he felt the same way. Much like in the bathroom, however, you were feeling surprisingly emotional.

“Y/N, you said you were okay if you didn’t have this baby, right?” Lin did his best to reassure you. “We all agreed it would be best if you had it taken care of—”

“I know, so why the fuck am I so upset?” you managed, quickly wiping a tear away.

“We typically see this in women who had an unexpected miscarriage when they didn’t even realize they were pregnant because they weren’t able to make a decision for themselves.” Dr. Warring pointed out. “It can be emotionally taxing.”

“Yeah, I um…” you struggled to find the right words. “I guess.”

“If you have bleeding that soaks more than two maxi pads an hour for two hours or a fever greater than one-hundred and two, you should come back. Otherwise, it may take some time for this to pass. It really is different for everyone. You may experience cramping similar to early labor pain over the next several days.”

“Several days?” you repeated, hoping you misheard.

“Possibly,” she confirmed. “I’ll discharge you and you guys can go home.”

You and Lin took a cab home, where you slowly changed into comfortable clothes and curled up in bed. He brought you a bottle of hot water wrapped in a towel to attempt to stop the cramping. You tried to sleep beside him, but your symptoms made sleep nearly impossible.

Instead, you lied there, sweating bullets, clutching your abdomen while in the fetal position and tried to breathe through the pain.

It went on for hours. Things started to secede around six thirty when everyone else in the house was getting up. You got up, still a sweaty mess, and managed to slowly sip a cold bottle of water. You had virtually no appetite, so you made no attempt to eat anything though you knew you probably should have.

Knowing you’d likely be uncomfortable, Lin and Vanessa invited back Else, a middle-aged babysitter who they usually asked to look after Sebastian since their arrival in the UK.

“She’s also a postpartum doula,” Vanessa explained to you that morning.

“She’ll be really helpful to you through all of this—at least while Lin and I are at work.”

You were sitting on the couch in the living room while Vanessa talked to you from the kitchen. There was a faint sound of a car honking outside the house; Lin’s ride to work had arrived.

He went to the kitchen first, kissing both Vanessa and Sebastian goodbye. He headed to the living room, softly kissing your forehead before leaning down to kiss your lips.

“Feel better, Y/N. I love you.”

Else arrived a few minutes after Lin had left. She was kind hearted, a comforting persona while your significant others were gone.

She told you it was possible your pain would return. Sure enough, it did. After about an hour of sipping water and keeping Sebastian mildly entertained, you were nearly doubled over in pain. You slowly trekked back to your room and crawled into bed, assuming the fetal position. Else came in with a cool, damp washcloth which she placed over your forehead and a heating pad to hold over your abdomen. You barely mustered a “thank you” though you were incredibly grateful.

The pattern continued. Six to eight hours of horrendous cramps and an hour or two of peace to drink water and compose yourself.

Sebastian seemed confused as to why you didn’t want to play with him, which Else carefully tried to distract him from.

By the time Vanessa got home, you were exhausted. She gratefully thanked Else for her services, paid her for the day and stepped in, assuming her role. After beginning to prepare dinner for Sebastian, she headed to your room to check on you.

You were nearing the end of eight hours and your pain was fading. She helped you out of the room and into the living room, where she brought you another bottle of water and offered you food. Though you refused, she brought you something anyway.

“You can’t just stop eating. That’s gonna make all of this suck a little more. Eat something.”

Lin came home at his usual time. You did your best to not take up their time and let them be parents while their son was still awake. When Sebastian had gone to sleep, they turned their focus to you.

You were in Lin’s arms, leaning against him on the couch. The TV was on, an episode of House of Cards, while Vanessa sat on the other end of the room scrolling on her phone.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, running his fingers through your hair. “Drained,” you admitting, wiping more sweat from your forehead. “Exhausted, but if this keeps up I won’t be able to sleep tonight anyway.”

“You should try,” Vanessa suggested. “At least now, when it isn’t that bad. Maybe you’ll get an hour or two.”

You agreed and slowly headed down the hall to your bedroom. With the door cracked open, you could still hear Lin and Vanessa from the living room. You didn’t think much of it until you settled into your usual fetal position and paid more attention.

“This is all my fault.” you heard Lin say.

“It’s not.” V insisted. “Honestly, it’s her doctor’s fault for not inserting her birth control properly.”

“We could’ve used a condom. I could’ve been more careful.”

“You had no idea her birth control would fail. Neither did she. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

He sighed. “It’s just so hard seeing her suffer like this. I felt so guilty being at work today instead of being at home taking care of her.”

“We left her in good hands.” she reminded him. “This won’t last forever. She’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

There was a pain in your abdomen that wasn’t cramping. You felt guilt if anything. Lin was blaming himself for something was entirely your fault.

You couldn’t shake the feeling even as he crawled into bed with you that night. You pretended to be asleep to avoid confrontation. Instead, you curled up against him. It was all you could do to express how much you valued having him around. It was the only way you could reassure him that it wasn’t his fault.

The pain kept on all through Tuesday. By Wednesday, you were more frustrated than anything. You wanted it to be over, desperately.

As the afternoon rolled around, you noticed a change in your usual routine.

The pain didn’t last for hours, instead only a few seconds at a time before vanishing for an hour or so.

When Vanessa came home around five, you updated both her and Else on your change in condition.

“Sounds like you’re having contractions.” Else pointed out. “Hopefully that means this is over soon.”

Though they weren’t nearly as painful as the contraction of someone who was actually pregnant, they kept a consistent pace. By the time Lin had gotten home your pain was a few minutes apart. An end was in sight, and you had numerous amounts support to help get you through it.

Finally, it was over. The small remnants of the baby that once was had left your body along with copious amounts of blood. Though you couldn’t actually see it (it was no larger than a poppy seed at only four weeks), your contractions had reached a peak and subsided entirely, which likely meant it was gone.

The sanitary pad you were using was carefully tied up in a small plastic bag, sitting at the top of a half empty garbage can in the bathroom.

“Say what you have to say,” V suggested, catching you off-guard.

“What?”

“Else says talking to it can help with closure. So talk.”

“I… you want me to talk to it?”

“How else do you expect to begin to recover emotionally?” she pointed out.

Though what she said kind of made sense, it was still an odd concept.

“Well… what about Lin?”

“Lin’s body didn’t put him through hell for three days trying to get rid of it. You need closure.”

You stared down at the trash. The bag was white so you couldn’t see what was inside but you knew it was there.

“You were…” you paused, trying to think of the right words. “You were conceived here—well actually you were conceived in Lin’s dressing room but it was definitely on this continent—so it’s only fair that your time ended here… I guess.”

Vanessa waited patiently for you to continue.

“It was better that it ended now, this way. Trump is president. You would’ve deserved better than that.”

You could see V trying not to giggle at your comment and take it seriously. You appreciated that she found it funny but chose not to laugh out of respect to you.

“I guess that’s it.”

“You’re sure?”

You nodded slowly. She pulled the lining from the trash can, tying it together in a knot at the top.

“I’ll bring this outside.”

That night was the first night you’d slept in a long time. You ended up in their bed between the two of them. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable experience, but having them sleep on either side of you felt surprisingly supportive. Considering how exhausted you were, you slept through the night.

At seven they were up, accidentally waking you with their hushed conversation as Lin was getting ready to leave. They must’ve seen you stirring awake because they were immediately apologetic.

“Sorry, Y/N. We didn’t mean to wake you.”

“We were just talking about how I’d stay behind today,” Vanessa added. “I figured you could use a familiar face around the house.”

“Oh no, V, you should go to work.” you insisted half-heartedly.

“Too late, I’m staying.”

“I wish I could do the same.” Lin pointed out, shortly followed by the sound of a car honking outside; his usual ride to work had arrived.

“I’ll see you later, Y/N.” he kissed you briefly before heading out of the room.

“You can go back to sleep if you want.” you heard her insist.

Though you wanted to be polite and protest, you were still really tired. You nodded slowly, turning over and falling asleep a few minutes later.

When you did finally get up, it was eleven according to the clock on the bedside table. You felt kind of guilty for sleeping through the day, but your exhaustion had faded nonetheless.

When you had showered and changed, V suggested a trip to the park. It was only a few blocks from their house and would get you out of the house for the first time since Sunday while keeping Sebastian entertained.

It wasn’t until you’d stepped outside with them that you realized how long it had been since you’d gone outside; felt the cool air against your skin and the warm sun on your face.

Sat on a bench in the park while V kept a close eye on her son, you kept waiting for the sun to make you feel better. You knew sunlight was supposed to make people feel happier—especially after they hadn’t seen it in a while—but you didn’t feel any better.

“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Why do I feel terrible even though I’m not in any pain?” you asked, kind of hoping she had the perfect answer.

“It happens.” was all she said.

“I overheard you guys the other night,” you confessed. “Lin thinks this is his fault, but it’s not. It’s mine.”

“It’s not either of your faults. You can’t blame yourself for this, it was entirely out of your control.”

“I feel so ashamed.” There were tears welling up in your eyes that you tried to fight. “I feel embarrassed. I was going to get rid of it and I couldn’t even keep it long enough to do that. I couldn’t even reproduce without complications. I didn’t even want to, and I couldn’t. Doesn’t that make me like, a failing part of the human race or something?”

“It makes you human.” She put her arm around you. “Millions of people have had miscarriages and gone on to have children with no complications. You’re not at fault for anything, and you're not any less of a person because of it.”

“Then why does it feel like I am? Why can’t I stop blaming myself for this?”

“You need to stop overthinking.” she took your hand. “I know how to help.”

Later that day when Lin had arrived home from work and Sebastian was asleep for the night, Vanessa headed to the kitchen, where you watched her open a cabinet and reach toward the back of the top shelf. She struggled for a bit but managed to grab one of the small vials stored there.

“Are you sure about this, V?” Lin tried to deter her. “Maybe we could try something different.”

“Why?” she paused.

“I don’t know I…” he glanced at you as if he was desperate to protect you. “I don’t wanna corrupt her.”

Vanessa giggled at the concept. “Oh come on, Lin. You think this is going to corrupt her? She’s an adult. Besides, if it works for you, why can’t it work for her?”

She turned to you then.

“Here,” she removed the cap, revealing a dropper full of tinted green liquid. “Open your mouth, lift your tongue.”

“Wait, what?” you took a step back. “What is that?”

“Just trust me.”

After a moment of hesitation, you did what she asked. The liquid didn’t taste like anything you were familiar with.

“It’s a cannabis tincture.” she finally admitted.

“Ca—that’s pot?”

“That’s why we keep it so high, so Sebastian doesn’t have any way of accidentally finding it.” she stored the vial safely back on the top shelf before closing the cabinet.

“Why did you give me that?”

“You’ll understand in a few hours.” she insisted. “You just have to trust me. It’s not a hallucinogen.”

After fifteen minutes or so, the effects what she’d given you had begun to arrive. You felt calmer, more content, and less anxious. It was the first time since Sunday that you didn’t feel entirely hopeless.

Ninety minutes in, you felt more relaxed than you’d ever been before. You were curled up on the couch beside Lin, watching the TV though you weren’t entirely sure what was on.

“I didn’t even know you could use marijuana like this,” you spoke slowly, glancing at Vanessa who was on her laptop on the other end of the couch. “This shit is fantaaaaastic. How did you even know about this?”

“You’re asking how V, chemical engineer extraordinaire, knew about this?” he teased.

“He’s exaggerating, I found it online. We used to smoke it normally, but then we stopped after I got pregnant, and once Sebastian came along we had to find another method because smoke inhalation was dangerous around the baby. So I did some research and found this. It takes a little work but you can make it in batches and it lasts a really long time, so it works.”

“How come you guys never told me about this before?”

“It’s not really something to talk about,” he reassured you. “We don’t use it all that often.”

“Just after a particularly stressful day,” Vanessa added. “Or when either of us has trouble sleeping.”

“I only really use it when my mind is racing. Too many thoughts, too many ideas all at once. It just helps to slow things down. Which I assume is why V thought it would be good for you.”

She nodded. “You’re doing much better than you were before at the park.”

You sat up, stretching your arms a bit. “I just feel like I can breathe.”

You turned to Lin, who seemed content that you were feeling better and slightly amused by your persona under the influence. “I know you thought it was your fault,” you started. “All this. But it wasn’t.”

“Y/N—” he tried, likely wanting to avoid a difficult conversation.

“No, I need to talk now. You talk a lot, Lin. I don’t know if you knew that, but you talk a lot. It’s my turn to talk.”

He chuckled. “Okay.”

“You thought it was your fault but it wasn’t. I kind of thought it was my fault. I’m pretty sure I’m still going to feel really ashamed and guilty when all of this is over, and I’m not really sure why. But I have to realize that this was out of my control. It was out of all of our control, and it’s going to take me some time to see that. That it was out of my control I mean.”

Lin smiled. “Well said.”

Though your emotional state seemed to improve with time, you knew you couldn’t stay there forever. You knew you’d have to go home eventually and go back to work, pay rent and live with your shitty roommates, and maintain your responsibilities.

On Saturday, Lin willingly deleted twitter from his phone in order to dedicate all of his free time to you. You knew he meant well, but you couldn’t shake the guilt that came from seeing them try so hard to make you feel better.

Though you didn’t exactly feel ready, on Saturday night you proposed going home on Monday to both of them.

“Are you sure?” Lin seemed hesitant to let you go both from the country and from his arm, which around your waist as you spoke.

“I mean I feel better physically, I’ve even stopped bleeding. I just… I need to go home and be an adult.”

“You think you’ll be okay by yourself?” Vanessa pressed.

“I’ll admit it won’t be easy not having you guys as a support system for a while, but you’ll be back in June. Honestly, the only reason I improved as much as I did is because I was here with you in the first place. If I was home alone… I don't know what I would’ve done.”

“Okay well…” Lin sighed but seemed sure about respecting your decision. “I’ll buy you a plane ticket.”

On Monday morning, there was a cab waiting outside to take you to the airport. You were still prepared to second guess your decision as Lin helped you with your suitcase.

“Call us if you need anything, okay? Day or night.” Vanessa followed you out to the curb, Sebastian in hand. “I don’t care if it’s three in the morning here. Call us.”

“I will.” you assured her. “I’ll be okay.”

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Lin asked, for the hundredth time. “You know you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. We’d be happy to have you.”

“I can’t leave my job in the states.” you pointed out. “I have to be strong. If you ask me again I’m going to change my mind.”

With that, he pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head. “I love you. Please stay in touch. We’ll be home soon.”

“I will.” you hugged as tight as you could, trying to hold on to the memory as long as you could. It would be awhile before you saw him again. In person, anyway.

You hugged Vanessa as well.

“I slipped a cannabis tincture into your suitcase,” she whispered. “If you need it.”

You kissed her cheek as you pulled away. “Thank you.”

As your cab pulled away with you in the backseat, you felt it sink in. The fear, the uncertainty, the loneliness that you were forced to face on your own. Suddenly you realized you weren’t ready to go back at all. Still, you forced yourself to go anyway.

You’d already faced hell that week. Surely it couldn’t get any worse.

Even if it did, support was only an ocean away.

#hamwriters #lin x vanessa #lin x reader #lin manuel x reader #lin manuel miranda x reader #vanessa nadal x reader #lin x reader x vanessa #hamilcast imagines #imagines blog #hamilcast fanfiction

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bestmovies0 · 7 years ago

Text

This App Lets Drivers Juggle Competing Uber and Lyft Rides

Angel Torres was driving down a major Los Angeles boulevard in late 2016 when it happened: Journey petitions from Uber and Lyft arrived at the same second. As he looked away from the road to decide which journey was more worth his time, he nearly rear-ended the car ahead of him. “It intimidated the crap out of me, ” Torres says. He was new to juggling the two apps, and was so rattled by the near miss that he started drawing over every time he needed to accept a journey on one app or turn off the other. That’s time-consuming and costly: For Torres, like all workers in the gig economy, “every minute is money.”

Torres’s plight is all too common. Virtually 70 percent of on-demand drivers work for both Uber and Lyft, and one-quarter drive for more than merely those two, according to a survey by The Rideshare Guy, a popular website for rideshare motorists. But each app wants to keep motorists exclusively on its platform. The apps’ designings make it easier for motorists to accept every journey they’re handed, rather than hold alternatives: When a ride request comes in, drivers have about 15 seconds to assess the type of ride( Lyft Line, Uber X, etc .), the passenger rating, the time it will take to pick up the passenger, the length of the trip, and whether or not upsurge pricing applies. That’s a lot of information to absorb in a short sum of hour, let alone compare with a vying offer. In other words, as much as Uber and Lyft promise their drivers independence, they make it difficult–and at times unsafe–for motorists to exert it.

Mystro

Those constraints inspired former Uber and Lyft driver Herb Coakley to start Mystro, an app that circumvents on-demand platforms’ notorious psychological tricks to give drivers more control over their work. Mystro aggregates jobs from Uber, Lyft, and( as of December) Postmates, and presents them to motorists on one screen; it also lets its 40,000 users specified filters to automatically accept or spurn journeys based on distance, surge pricing, passenger ratings, and more. As of a month ago, Mystro lets motorists do all that without taking their hands off the wheel.

Coakley started driving for Uber and Lyft in Los Angeles in 2016, when he felt like he had hit bottom: He’d drained his life’s savings trying to produce a movie, and was crashing on a friend’s sofa while “re going through” a divorce. Driving was supposed to be a stopgap measurement until he figured out his next move, but when Coakley discovered himself longing for a style to appreciate what both Uber and Lyft were offering simultaneously, he realized “hes having” stumbled upon something big.

His idea appealed immediately to motorists, who spar regularly with the app corporations. Uber has blocked drivers’ attempts to unionize in Seattle; Postmates has fended off allegations that its motorists should be granted employee benefits; and Grubhub recently reigned over a driver who argued he’d been misclassified as an independent contractor. Coakley likewise won over Dwayne Shaw, an age-old pal from Howard University who was working as a contract art director at Audible and who would soon become Mystro’s cofounder and COO.

Coakley soon relocated from Los Angeles to San Francisco and started pitching all persons who wound up in his vehicle. His tech-savvy passengers were skeptical. To induce Mystro work, they insisted, he would need access to Uber’s and Lyft’s APIs–and neither corporation would grant access to a service that constructs it easier for motorists to switch.

How It Works

A year after moving to San Francisco, Coakley was starting to lose hope. But then, as a last resort, he posted a call for technical assistance on Craigslist–and his index caught “members attention” of Matthew Rajcok, a developer who was just finishing his BA at Yale. “I was really motivated by the fact that so many people said this was impossible–I was like, OK, I’m going to fissure this nut, ” Rajcok recalls. He flew to San Francisco to meet Coakley and Shaw at a coworking space, and within six hours, he’d constructed them a working prototype. He is now Mystro’s CTO and cofounder.

The key was tapping into Android’s accessibility features, which allow one app to “see” what’s happening on other apps running in the background and perform acts on them. The squad felt stymied when they realised that Apple’s iOS, the operating system for iPhones, does not allow apps to snoop on each other. But they regained exuberance when Coakley, who was still driving, picked up an Uber staffer, who casually mentioned that 55 percent of Uber motorists use Android telephones; overseas, the passenger said, it’s closer to 90 percentage. Soon after, Coakley discovered himself chauffeuring a then-Google employee named Andrew Taylor, who was so impressed by his pitching that he fastened Coakley a $100,000 seed investment from a wealthy friend.

That money permitted the team to create a basic, operating version of the app, which they began offering for free in February 2017. They then landed a spot in Y Combinator’s summer class, and launched commercially afterwards that summertime. Customers now pay $11.95 a month, $99.95 a year, or 20 cents per ride. To date Mystro has raised just under$ two million, and the startup is currently in the process of closing a round that will bring that to merely under$ 3 million, according to Coakley.

Mystro

The team has grown to seven staffers, three of whom, including Coakley, are former rideshare motorists. Things are moving speedily: They’re looking to offer the app outside the US by the beginning of summer, and they’re doubling down on their pitch of safer streets. Mystro merely finalise a deal to give users a discount with Arity, an Allstate spinoff that offers insurance for rideshare motorists. They also introduced voice-control features, so motorists can accept trips, end trips, and toggle Uber, Lyft, or Postmates on and off without appearing away from the road.

Voice control is a favourite of Angel Torres, the Los Angeles driver who nearly crashed his vehicle while hop-skip between Uber and Lyft. Endeara Cureton, a driver in the Washington, DC area, uses the app’s filtering feature to reject passengers with ratings below 4.8.

Mystro asserts it helps motorists earn 30 percent more fund. Sonny Fowowe, a driver in Ann Arbor, Michigan, says he has noticed that uptick. But Sohail Rana, a New York-based motorist and a member of the Independent Driver Guild, is more skeptical. “If people are particularly attaining 30 percentage more on that app, trust me, every single motorist would have it, ” he says. “I don’t recognize these people doing anything else for the drivers–they accuse $12 a month and they find themselves continuing all the profits themselves.”

Coakley calls Mystro “a tool for the resistance.” But the company does not opinion itself as an adversary of the ridesharing services. “We love Uber and Lyft, ” says COO Shaw. “I feel like it’s given so many people an opportunity to make money where prior there was not an opportunity. But it is hard work, and where Mystro comes in is we try to ease the burden a little bit and dedicate a little bit of power and agency back to rideshare drivers.”

Summoned to a Meeting

Mystro has caught “members attention” of Uber and Lyft, and the on-demand giants don’t seem overjoyed. Last summertime, Uber requested a meeting with Coakley, Rajcok, and Mystro’s attorneys: “They thought we were illegally using their API, and then they thought we were stealing material from their server, ” Coakley remembers. “But once they recognized we weren’t doing anything they could actually sue us for, they pretty much left us alone.” Coakley and his team haven’t talked immediately with Lyft, but the companies share an early investor who told Coakley that Lyft is “not thrilled” with what Mystro. At the same day, Lyft is pertaining some motorists to Mystro, according to a text exchange between Mystro’s social-media lead and a Lyft employee. Uber declined to comment. Lyft and Postmates did not respond to requests for comment.

“It advantages anyone not named Uber to come on with Mystro–it commits them access to a supplying of all of Uber’s drivers, ” says Harry Campbell, who runs The Rideshare Guy and is an adviser to Mystro. Coakley seems confident that eventually, the platforms Mystro aggregates will see the value of the app. Drivers discontinued the apps almost as quickly as they sign up. If Mystro can improve drivers’ earnings and quality of life, Coakley thinks that might entice more to stick around longer.

The on-demand giants face their own constraint: Banning a tool that devotes employees more control could undercut their long-held posts that motorists are independent contractors , not employees. “The platforms are walking a fine line: Clearly they each want just as much period as possible from the drivers, but they also don’t want to step over the line where there’s any indication that this is anything other than an independent contracting relationship, ” says Arun Sundararajan, a prof of business at New York University and author of The Sharing Economy. “There’s likewise potentially a danger in blocking the app, because both Uber and Lyft have market power now. This is an app in an adjacent space, and it is unable to attract antitrust attention if they blocked it.”

That’s left Mystro in a delicate dance with the on-demand behemoths. They’re not trying to shut down the upstart, but also don’t yet seem is accessible to partnering and dedicating Mystro access to their APIs. Either route, Mystro’s existence suggests that drivers will seek, and find, new, tech-savvy ways to seize back power. And, Mystro envisions, who are able to end up advantaging everyone involved. “We’re like this pesky mouse running around an elephant, ” Coakley says. “But the thing about the mouse and the elephant is they can be allies. The mouse can see things the elephant can’t consider. I think in time, they’ll be able to see we’re actually a really good ally.”

Share the Road

The Independent Motorist Guild has won some combats with Uber, and conjured disagreement.

Uber’s settlement of its high-profile legal fighting against Google sibling Waymo degrees the way to the future of self-driving vehicles.

Ride-sharing is part of a big, and rapid, shift in how Americans get out cities.

from https://bestmovies.fun/2018/02/18/this-app-lets-drivers-juggle-competing-uber-and-lyft-rides/

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kinseyxsharpe · 8 years ago

Text

The Key

A few weeks had passed since Kinsey opened the letter from her father that lead her to the bank where she found his will and a key. After going to Michael Andrew’s grave Kinsey had gone home in complete shock. Her blue eyes had looked over her son and wondered how her father could have ever taken himself away from her. Most suicides were planned because the person didn’t feel like they had a choice, battles raged in their heads, and the only way to make it stop, to make it better, was to stop the battle. But from her father’s letters that she had recently read Kinsey felt that he had a choice. Why had he chosen to leave? That question was the first, middle, and last thought on her mind since then. Lifting one of her favorite coffee mugs to her lips Kinsey thought about it again when her son ran up to her with a big bright smile on his face. Running her right hand through his hair she smiled down at him, “Slow down there little one. Where ya going in such a big hurry.” It was almost noon and the brunette had woken up only thirty minutes ago. She’d been staying up late, sleeping in late, and Everett had really stepped up to the plate when it came to Mitchell.

“Boston!” Mitchell screeched with an adorably goofy smile spreading across his features. Kinsey’s eyes grew wide as she looked at her son. He looked exactly like his grandfather when he did that and it always caught her off guard. It was like she was getting a little piece of her dad back and then Mitchell’s features would change again. The moment would be over and Kinsey felt a pang in her heart. Ahh Boston. Kinsey looked down at her phone, saw the date, and remembered that she was meeting Mr. Schmidt in the city to go over everything in her father’s will. She had promised Mitchell that she’d take him with her as well as told Everett he wouldn’t need to worry about watching him that day. “Momma Boston right?” Mitchell spoke again this time his voice was softer, questioning. Despite how much Kinsey was trying to hide her overwhelming feelings from the three year old he still picked up on them. Moments like these broke Kinsey. Shattered her. Taking a deep Kinsey put her coffee down, gathered the little boy in her lap, and smiled.

“Boston baby boy. We’re still going into Boston, I promise.” She was making a lot of promises lately and Kinsey was sure she was ruining the word for both Mitchell as well as Everett. Once she assured her son that the two of them would be going on an adventure in the city the adorable smile of his returned to his cheeks. Wiggling out of her lap the boy ran towards the door and began putting his shoe on as best as he could. “Daddy will be so proud of you for getting your shoes on by yourself big boy.” Kinsey smiled, felt a twinge for a needle in her arm, and quickly shook the thought away. Staying clean was becoming hard as her emotions took over. She didn’t want them. Emotions fucked Kinsey over and was the main reason she’d become a drug addict to begin with. Now that everything with her father was resurfacing it was hitting her harder than she could have ever imagined. Pushing herself up the brunette began busing herself with getting ready and within ten minutes they were up and out of the house headed for Boston.

The summer heat of Sloane as well as Boston had settled into the two cities and took the breath out of Kinsey’s lungs as she stepped out of Jeep. “Fuck.” The slender woman said through clenched teeth and she rounded towards the other side of the car to gather Mitchell up before heading into the law firm. Once inside Kinsey was greeted by an unfamiliar woman who took down the brunette’s name and instructed the duo over into the waiting area. Putting Mitchell down on the floor to play with a few toys she had remembered to bring Kinsey pulled out her phone. The fingers on her left were now able to work a little better despite still having no feeling in them. Kinsey had taught to teach herself again how to type, hold things, and work without being able to feel anything. Texting was getting better, nothing else was, but texting was getting better.

[txt: Everett] We made it here safe, just waiting for the lawyer to come out for us. This place is fucking huge as shit though.

[Incoming txt:] Good. Maybe we should make him our lawyer? Have someone not in Sloane working for us. What do you think?

[txt: Everett] I don’t think it’s a bad idea. He almost won the case dad had against Trent. But then ya know Trent happened. But from what I remember he’s a great guy, good at his job. I’ll bring it up to him once I figure out what I’m here for.

[Incoming txt:] Alright. If you need me I’m a text away and can be in the city quickly.

[txt: Everett] This is why I love you. Alright babe his secretary just came and grabbed us. I will text you when I can. Love you.

Kinsey smiled up at the heavier set secretary as she reached out for Mitchell’s hand. “Grab your toys butterbean.” Her voice soft as Kinsey helped him put the toys into the book back she was carrying. “Alright. Let’s go meet Mr. Schmidt!” The secretary gave Kinsey a forced smile before turning on her heels to walk down a long hallway. On either side of them were closed doors with different name plaques on them to indicate who belonged in that room. It freaked Kinsey out that all of them were closed and no conversations could be heard on the other side. Everything felt disconnected in a way until she saw a door open with a man standing on the outside, a smile on his face, and he opened his arms in greeting. “Uncle Matty?” Kinsey asked gently looking the familiar male who she had grown up knowing.

“The one and only dear.” The male said wrapping Kinsey up into a warm familiar hug. “I thought you knew I was your father’s lawyer a long time ago but he was always good at hiding certain things wasn’t he?” The question lingered between the two as her blue eyes looked up at him with disbelief. Uncle Matty wasn’t actually her blood relative but had been her father’s best friend since she could remember. He had visited on holidays, weekends, and his family even took a few trips with the Andrew’s party of two when they were all younger. “Thank you Silvia, I’ve got it from here.” Mr. Schmidt said with a grin ushering Kinsey and Mitchell into his office. “Take a seat right there and Mitchell is more than welcome to play on the floor while we do everything. Would you like that sport?” Mitchell instantly nodded his head reaching for the backpack on his mother’s shoulders.

“Here you are darling.” Kinsey quickly took the bag off handing her son the toys as she fixed herself in the large leather chair that was settled in front of the large wooden desk that her uncle was sitting behind. “I didn’t, I didn’t even know you were a lawyer. I was completely dense for a long time sadly.” Her words were spoke with a truth she’d never said out loud before. “Dad never told me and I never questioned. But it looks like you are one of the best around.” A smile spread gently tugging at her cheeks. Her body was tense and even though she was trying to keep her breathing under control she felt as if the world was going to be pulled out from underneath her. “I was shocked to get the initial letter from you then everything that was in his safe deposit box.” Kinsey stuttered. “It’s a lot to take in and I understand everything in it except the key.” Her blue eyes searched the older male’s face as the lawyer watched her son play on the floor.

“He truly looks like a little Michael.” Mr. Schmidt said out loud before looking back at Kinsey. “Well we will get back to that but the first thing we have to do is discuss the issue of your name and identity change. It causes issues with awarding the money to you. Do you still have all of your original documents?” It was true that Kinsey had changed everything about herself when she left Sloane the first time including how she looked. She had paid a lot of money for plastic surgery and never thought there would have been anything left to claim by being Ophelia Andrews. But when she had the chance to burn everything to get rid of any trace of Ophelia the woman hadn’t been able to take it. The only thing she had left of her father at that time in her life had been those documents and she wasn’t going to part with them.

“I still have everything. I even brought it with me so it won’t be an issue, I’ve even gone as far as linking a few things between the name Ophelia and Kinsey. Most people know who I am now so there is no reason to hide who I used to be.” Kinsey’s words came out mechanical because she had rehearsed them for hours the night before in the mirror of her home. “There won’t be an issue getting the money transferred to me. And I want a majority of the funds to remain in the off shore account until I need them. The home in California can be switched into the name Kinsey Haight as that will be my new name within a few short weeks. And I would like you to tell me where this key goes to.” The brunette leaned over lifting the silver key and placing it on the males work desk. “I need to know where it belongs to.”

“Kinsey. That key is the last gift your father would like to give you.” The lawyer said as his dry hands pulled at the top drawer of his desk pulling out another note. “This is the final note and he wanted me to read it to you. So here goes nothing.” The male cleared is throat while he unfolded the paper and began to read the words out loud. “Hi again Ophelia. This will be my last letter I promise and by the end of it you will understand everything. I started working for Trent’s dad before you turned one and had put my life into making sure I did everything for the casino. I would do it all over again to make sure you lived the life you had. But when I lost my job everything was ripped from my hands. I had pled with Trent, begged the man night and day to give me another chance. He of course refused until one day I promised him something he liked. I promised I would leave him alone forever if he returned my home to me. The home you grew up in. I wanted the memories back. I wanted our old life back. Trent said he’d return the home only if I was dead. So. I made a decision that ensured you’d get the home back. I told Trent that if he meant his words that I’d do exactly as he said. I gave the Foster’s everything from my time to my life. And all of this for you. Please forgive me little mouse and move into my last gift to you, your childhood home. Live there. Raise your children there. And live the life you deserve to live. Love you always your papa.”

Tears streamed from her blue eyes as Kinsey listened to the words and stared down at Mitchell while the lawyer folded the paper up. “I. I don’t really have too many words to follow that letter Uncle Matty.” When the little boy noticed his mother was crying he walked over to her, crawled into her lap, and rested a hand on her cheek. “I wove you momma.” He said gently and Kinsey bawled pulling her little boy into her chest. “I love you too baby boy. So so much. I’m going to grab the letter and the key. I remember where it is. Please send whatever I need to sign for it to me in the mail. Right now I need to go home and be with my family for a little bit.” Kinsey gathered Mitchell up in her arms while she picked up the backpack full of the boys toys, grabbed the letter, key, and headed towards the door before stopping. Turning back to the only person she could ever look up to as a dad she whispered. “Actually hand deliver it and stay for dinner. I lost my dad and I don’t want to lose his oldest friend either okay Uncle Matty. Just call me before and I will get something whipped up for you.” And with that Kinsey walked away from the room, down the hall, and towards her car. She didn’t know that a letter, box, or key could fuck up everything she had worked so hard to push down but in the end three little objects sent Kinsey spiraling back into a place she didn’t know if she could get out of again.

#Kinsey Sharpe Drabbles #mine #writing

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Why is this such a defining time for assessing corporate leadership Which leadership theory would be most relevant and applicable to understanding and developing effective corporate leaders in today’s environment Why

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Leadership Management

Total Marks: 100

Attempt any 5 cases

CASE 1

The year 2002 will surely be remembered as the anus horrible of business. It was a time of tumult and reassessment, high drama and low comedy. Corporate crime 0and greed were spectacularly exposed in companies that had once been praised, run by executives who had once been trusted. It was The year Enron set new vots in corporate ethics, while World Com broke records for the size of its bankruptcy. It was also the year we learned the Rigas Family my have defrauded Adelphia Communications of some $1 Billion, Bernie Ebbers Borrowed $408 million from World Com, and Samuel Waksal urged his daughter and father to trade on inside information he gave them about ImClone Systems Inc. Andrew Fastow, ex-chief financial offer at Enron Faces no fewer than 78 felony charges. The outside auditors and the supposedly independent directors, they pleaded ignorance. Chief Executives seemed startled by the ridicule, distrust, and outright contempt they faced. At the same time, they had to contend with an economy that edged ever-so-slowly toward a recovery but kept falling short. If ever there was a year to examine the many ways in which managers succeed – and fail – this was it. The best executives responded by providing more information about company operations to dispel suspicions and they got back to work. Some- Andrea Jung at Avon, A.G.Laftley at Procter & Gamble, and Robert Tillman at Lowe’s – even managed to excel, despite the extremely trying conditions. Others, however, such as jack Greenberg, the abruptly replaced head of McDonald’s, and jean-Married messier, the ex-chief of Vivendi Universal, were unable to outrun their problems. They were not alone: We’ve included more than a dozen new executives who have taken over major companies in 2002. In a year as turbulent as this one, we decided to take a new approach to our annual wrap- up of the year’s best managers. Along with the best, we’ve also looked closely at the worst executives, the fallen, the indicted (and those under fire), and managers to watch in the year to come. Many of the names are familiar. Last year, for example, we called Dennis Kozlowski one of the best managers of 2001, citing his ability to head Tyco International through a recession that flattened most of its counterpart. What we didn’t see was that the company was struggling to keep up appearances as investigators were eyeing Kozlowski. Now you can find him in the section called Prep Walk. Two Years ago we praised Sandy Weill at Citigroup for making the huge financial firm his own, elbowing out his co-chief executive and installing his number-obsessed loyalists in key positions.

With City enmeshed in almost every scandal to hit Walt Street in 2002, we named Weill one of the worst.

AN ISO 9001 : 2008 CERTIFIED INSTITUTE

Business Week surveyed its staff of some 144 writers and editors in New York and in 21 areas around the world to decide whose performance should be lauded and who deserved a different kind of renown.

Question

1. If you were to select the “Best” and the “Worst” corporate leaders, what would be some objective criteria that you would use in this selection process?

2. Choosing one of the traditional theories of leadership, what criteria would you use in the selection process?

3. Why is this such a defining time for assessing corporate leadership? Which leadership theory would be most relevant and applicable to understanding and developing effective corporate leaders in today’s environment? Why?

CASE 2

Mention the word leadership in reference to CFOs and it often conjures up the names of people such as Curly Farina of HP or some other chief executive of one of America’s most admired firms. However, there are many effective leaders who are not well known but are considered extremely effective. A good example is Steve Wynn, Whose face is known to millions from his television advertising appearances but otherwise goes unrecognized. Steven Wynn is head of Mirage Resorts Inc., an empire that consists mainly of upscale resort hotels in Las Vegas and over the next few years, other cities in Nevada, New Jersey, and Mississippi. To most people who are familiar with his face, he is an advertising pitchman who urges viewers to come out to one of his casinos. However, Wynn is a lot more than this. He has taken bold risks to build his casino empire and has always been an astute risk taker. During the 1980s he linked up with the infamous “junk bond king” Michael Milken and used junk bonds to finance his rise in the casino business. Then, when interest rate subsided, he replaced the troubled bonds with lower interest securities. At the same time Wynn has shown that he can be very effective in managing in-house operations. One of the key areas on which he focuses a great deal of attention is employee relations. He contends that “you can never go wrong indulging your employees. “Throughout the company, personnel are given “Gotcha Awards,, “which usually entail an extra day off or a gift certificate . These awards are given simply for doing their jobs in a highly competent manner. As Wynn’s director of human resoures at the Las Vegas Mirage puts it, “We reward the ordinary, not just the extraordinary.” In addition, employees at the Mirage are given fresh, free meals in the hotel’s gleaming new cafeteria, which is in sharp contrast to employees at other hotels, who are typically fed with leftovers form the gust buffet. Moreover, Employees and Supervisors of the year are treated to Hawaiian vacations and a lavish banquet that costs upward of $400,000. Wynn’s winning approach also extends to day-to-day work activities. His hotels operate under a system that uses “planned insubordination.” This unusual approach requires supervisors to explain to subordinates why a task should be accomplished. And if the workers find that the explanation is unsatisfactory, they are not required to do that job. Do the personnel like this idea? They might be given than turnover at Wynn’s operations runs around 12 percent annually, whereas it is twice this for the industry at large. In addition, Jobs at the Mirage are so coveted that employees are willing to work there for pay that is at or below market rates. And although 40 percent of the workers belong to unions, not a single grievance has been filed against the company in more than four years. On the other side of the coin, some people complain that Wynn’s leadership style can be offensive. He has been accused of erupting into anger and launching verbal assaults at subordinates over minor matters such as a burned-out light bulb or a dirty ash-tray. He explains these behaviors by noting, ‘’I’ve always been emotional and passionate. I guess it’s a fear that I’ll become isolated and not know what’s going on.” Outsiders who have worked with him simply say that he wasn’t to get things done immediately and that his passion becomes almost maniacal at times, resulting in his outbursts. Regardless of the strengths and weakness of his leadership style, Wynn has built a successful empire. One reason may have been explained best by an expert on the gaming business who remarked, “I see Steve on the Wynn as the prototypical charismatic leader, a kind of Henry Ford of the gambling industry. Yet he has these ticks, and he wants to make everything perfect. He many scream at you and humiliate you, but he’s also the best person to work for, if you want to learn to do things the right way.’’

Question

1. It terms of the various leadership styles described in the chapter, how would you describe Steve Wynn?

2. If you were making any suggestions to him regarding how he could improve his leadership Style, what would you tell Wynn?

3. Which of the three major skills would be of most value to Wynn?

CASE 3

Rex Justice is a long-tem employee of the Car fax Corporation, and for the last several years he has been a supervisor in the financial section of the firm. Hi is very loyal to Car fax and works hard to follow the company policies and the orders of the managers above him. In fact, upper-level management think very highly of him; they can always count or Rex to meet any sort of demand that the company places on him. He is valued and well liked by all the top managers. His employees in the financial section have the opposite opinion of Rex. They feel that hi is too concerned with pleasing the upper-level brass and not really concerned enough with the needs and concerns of the employees in his department. For example, they feel that Rex never really pushes hard enough for a more substantial slice of the budget. Relative to other departments in the company, they feel they are underpaid and overworked. Also, whenever one of them goes to Rex with a new idea or suggestion for improvement, he always seems to have five reasons why it can’t be done. There is considerable dissatisfaction in the department, and everyone thinks that Rex is just a puppet for management. Performance has begun to suffer because of this style and leadership. Upper-level management seems to be oblivious to the situation in the finance section.

Question

1. How would you explain Rex’s leadership style in terms of one or more of the approaches discussed in the chapter?

2. What advice would you given Rex to improve his approach to leadership?

3. Could a leadership training program be set up to help Rex? What would it consist of?

CASE 4

In 1981, johns W. Welch, Jr., become CEO of General Electric. His appointment ushered in an era of disdain for the elaborate planning and centralized control that had been the hallmark of his predecessor. Reginald JONES, “Jones felt the other would be caretakers” , says one former GE vice president, “Welch was the one who would take the company in radical directions if necessary.” Indeed, Welch has proved to be anything but a caretaker. He quickly articulated a plan to change GE from manufacturing company deriving more than half its revenues from heavy industry to one reaping a larger share of its earnings from technology and services. He also stated that GE wouldsell those of its businesses that weren’t first or second in their market. Since becoming CEO, Welch has sold more than 250 businesses and used $20 billion to purchase more than 300 new ones. Among the acquisition are the RCA Corporation, the Employers Reinsurance company, 80 per cent of Kidder, Peabody & Company, the medical equipment Business of Thomson SA, the appliance making Roper Corporation and the chemical business of the Borg Warner Corporation. In the process, he has eliminated more than 20,0000 jobs through forced retirements, layoffs, resignations and outright divestitures. His Moves have caused revenues to increase by 50 per cent –up to about $70 billion. Admirers say that Welch has vision and is transforming GE from a Stogy bureaucracy to a nimble company much more fit for the challenges ahead. He was named “CEO of the year” by the American Management Association in 1991. Detractors have dubbed Welch “Neutron jack”, after the bomb that destroys people but leaves buildings intact. A notorious dislike of bureaucracy and red tape. Welch has cut layers of management, eliminating the group and sector levels that once fell between the heads of the various businesses and the CEO. Having fewer hierarchical levels fit in with his basic philosophy that managers should have the freedom to run their businesses as they see fit and to the fast changing environment. “The early 80s were a hardware decade, getting the right stuff in the right place,” Welch says. “The 90s and late 80s are what we call software. We’re working desperately to get everyone participating in the process. To be a winner in the 90s, you have got to have the creativity of everybody in the organization.” To that end, Welch has recently identified four types of leaders. Type one leaders deliver on commitments and share in the values of the company. Such leaders have a promising future at GE says Welch. Type Two leaders do not deliver on commitments and do not share company values. These leaders will not survive at GE. Type Three leaders miss commitments but share company values, so they will usually be given a second chance. Type four leaders deliver on commitments, make all the numbers, but do not ‘share in the values we must have,’ says Welch. The type four leaders “is the individual who typically forces performance out of people rather than inspires it: the autocrat, the big shot, the tyrant. Too often, all of us have looked the other way,’’ according to Welch. The tendency is to allow Type Four managers to continue to function “because they always deliver “- at least in the short run”. Now says Welch, “in an environment where we must have every good idea from every man and woman in the organization, we cannot afford management styles that suppress and intimidate.” In order to further promote creativity and innovation, Welch has been advocating the development of a “boundary less” company, in which workers at all levels are encouraged to communicate and share ideas with one another. He has also instituted the Best Practices Program, in which GE employees study the attitudes and management practices of other admirable companies and adapt the best for use at GE. Another means of fostering change is GE’s Work-out Program, in which managers and their subordinates meet in a forum similar to New England town meeting and seek ways to eliminate unnecessary work and solve problems together. According to Welch, “Leadership starts with absolute integrity. Leaders need to define and communicate their vision. They must have enormous energy and the ability to energise and excite others. Leaders embrace change, they know it creates opportunities. Leaders are accountable and decisive. They set and meet aggressive targets. They act sooner rather than later o issues.” He noted recently, “I don’t know what the world’s going to be; all I Know is it’s going to be nothing like it is today. It’s going to be faster: information is going to be everywhere.” As a result, he says everyone at GE needs to come to work each day “on the razor’s edge of a competitive battle.”

Questions

1. Analyst the sources of power that are likely to be used by the four types of leaders identified by Welch.

2. Use path goal theory to analyze W

CASE 5

Lisa Weber never doubted that she would be a partner in her Wall Street firm. A graduate of a prestigious business school, with a doctorate in economics, she taught briefly at a major university. She was the first woman hired as a market analyst in her well-regarded firm. Within two years, she had become one of four senior portfolio managers reporting directly to a senior partner. Her clients give her the highest commendations for her outstanding performance, and over the past two years, she has brought in the largest number of new accounts to the firm. Despite the admiration of her colleagues and their seeming acceptance of her, there is a disturbing, if flattering, aspect to her job. Most of her peers and some of the partners visit her office during the day to discuss in private her opinions on market performance and financial projections. She enjoys these private her sessions but is dismayed that at the weekly staff meetings the CEO, Michael Brayer, usually says something like, “Okay, let’s get started and bring Lisa knows as much as they do about what’s going on in the firm. She never protests this slight to her competence and knowledge of firm business, nor does she mention the almost daily private meetings where her advice is sought. As the only woman on the executive level, she prefers to be considered a team player and “one of the boys.” During the past year, one of her peers was promoted to partner, although Lisa’s performance clearly surpassed his, as measured by the success of her account and the amount of new business she brought to the firm. Having heard no mention of partnership for herself, “you’re doing great, Lisa, but what happens if you are a partner and you make a huge mistake? How would you take it? And what about our clients? There never been a female partner in the 103 years of our firm.” Shortly thereafter, another woman, Pamela Tobias, was hired as a marketeering analyst. Once, when the CEO saw Lisa and Pamela together, he called out to the man, “Hey, Guys, two woman in one room. That’s scary.” During the next six months, Lisa meets several times with the CEO to make her case for a partnership on the basis of her performance. She finally realizes that there is no possibility of change in the foreseeable future and makes a decision to leave and from her own investment firm.

Question

1. Which advancement barriers and patterns apply to Lisa’s situation?

2. What could Michael Brayer do differently to retain and support Lisa more effectively?

3. What could Lisa do differently to foster her own advancement?

4. What could the organization provide to support and develop Lisa’s and Pamela’s effectiveness?

5. What could the organization provide to raise the gender consciousness of Michael Breyer and Lisa’s male colleagues?

CASE 6

Every Year, Dr. Cook, a college professor, leads a group of 25 college student to the Middle East on an archaeological dig that usually lasts about 8 weeks. The participants, who come from big and small colleges throughout the country, usually have little knowledge or background in what takes place during an excavation. Dr. Cook enjoys leading these expeditions because he likes teaching students about archaeology and because the outcome of the digs actually advances his own scholarly work. While planning for his annual summer excavation, Dr. Cook told the following story: This summer will be interesting because I have 10 people returning from last year. Last year seemed lost, unmotivated, and tired. In fact, there was time early on when it seemed as if nearly half the students were either physically ill or mentally exhausted. Students seemed lost and uncertain about the meaning of the entire project. For example, it is our tradition to get up every morning at 4:30 a.m. to Depart for the excavation site at 5:00 .M. However, during the first weeks of the dig, few people were ever ready at 5, even after several reminders. Every year it takes some time for people to learn where they fit with each other and with the purpose of the dig. The students all come from such different backgrounds. Some are from small, private, religious school, and other are from large state universities. Each comes with a different agenda. With different skills, and with different work habits. One person may be a good photographer, another good drawer a good surveyor. It is my job to complete the excavation with the resources available to us. At the end of week 2, called a meeting to assess how things were going. We talked about lot of things including personal things, how our work was progressing, and what we needed to chance. The students seemed to appreciate the chance to talk at this meeting. Each of them described their special circumstance and their hopes for the summer. I told the student several stories about past digs; some were humorous and other highlighted accomplishments. I shared my particular interests in this project and how I thought we as a group could accomplish the work that needed to be done at this important historical site. In particular, I stressed two points: (a) that they shared the responsibility for the successful outcome of the venture and (b) that they had independent authority to design, schedule, and carry out the details of their respective assignments, with the director and other senior staff available at all times as advisers and resource persons. In regard to the departure time issue, I told the participants that the standard departure time on digs was 5:00 a.m. Well, shortly after our meeting I observed a real shift in the group attitude and atmosphere. People seemed to become more involved in the work, there was less sickness, and there was more comradely. All assignments were completed without constant prodding and in a spirit of mutual support. Each morning at 5:00 a.m. everyone was ready to go. I find that each year my groups are different. It’s almost as if each of them has a unique personality. Perhaps that is why I find it so challenging. I try to listen to the student and utilize their particular strengths. It really is quite amazing how these students can develop in 8 weeks. They really become good at archaeology and they accomplish a great deal. This coming year will again be different because of the 10 returning “veterans”.

Questions

1. How is this an example of transformational leadership?

2. Where are Dr. Cook’s strengths on the full range of leadership model?

3. Where is the vision Dr. Cook has for the archaeology excavations?

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