#I even surprised myself :o
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crossbackpoke-check · 15 hours ago
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"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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lieutenantselnia · 8 months ago
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You ever get that feeling like you're f/o-ing characters by proxy? Like, you don't necessarily want to f/o them yourself, but you still want them to be f/os to someone and see other people self ship with them? Well, because I think I do ...
So I started rewatching Star Wars Rebels a few weeks ago and oh boy I think my dormant Star Wars hyperfixation is no longer dormant but instead coming back full force - AND NOW I WANT TO SEE THESE DORKS GETTING KISSES GODDAMMIT
These are just the first few that came to my mind but there's more (it's just that it's half past 5am and my brain is soup), but I'd love to see some self-inserts (or OCs) being shipped with them! And even if you don't like Imperials you could also just make them defect with/for you😌
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In oder: Lieutenant Yogar Lyste, Commandant Cumberlayne Aresko, Minister Maketh Tua, Admiral Kassius Konstantine, Agent Alexsandr Kallus, Grand Admiral Thrawn
I wasn't quite sure about including Kallus (bottom left) and Thrawn (bottom right) in this list, because 1. they're not nearly as underrated as the others (although I haven't really seen them around in the self ship community), and 2. I also very much ship Kallus with Zeb (I'm rarely crazy about canon x canon pairings but those two are really cute), and well Thrawn is also on my own f/o list anyway xD (I usually don't mind sharing though)
Bonus: Admiral Yularen, however I prefer his look in The Clone Wars, but he makes an appearance in Rebels too!
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(I really want to rewatch TCW as well once I'm finished with Rebels it's always been such a joy to watch when I was younger😭 I hope I can get my sister to watch it together with me like we used to)
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stardestroyer81 · 2 years ago
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Can you guess who my favorite Pizza Tower character is? 💙✨
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frogshipping · 7 days ago
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Ah shit. I think I might have just developed a crush
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keeps-ache · 2 months ago
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cat bit up my arm Gwah
#just me hi#my dude was Biting and Scratching and he was trying to be gentle at first but PAL#i mean it does Look bad but there's no blood so :) upside!#it looks kinda bad though hghfkshfhgjh#eu.. my skin... [<- is not enjoying the visual texture (it's not even the beat up parts it's just. eu)]#euuuuuuuu- euuu#oh wait speaking of getting shredded by cats i totally forgot about that one time- i forgot which of our cats i was handling but i think a#car had been started pretty nearby and they Freaked Out and left a score on my chest#which looked cool i will not lie. it also didn't sting which was great 👍 didn't enjoy the scab though hfsvh#yea it was kind of deep tho ? i'm surprised the scar isn't more pronounced lol - it's a darker shade than the surrounding skin which i thin#is neat :3#that was in the summer i think. forgot about it so fast hfhsvh#//okay okay my hair's annoying me lol#it's getting a bit longer than i like (it's in my face but it's Longer so it's in my face Badly if you know what i'm saying pfsh) but i'm#also thinking maybe i'll grow it out ? to play around with or something ? i dunno .u.#the thing is is that i don't like it being very long because that's Absolute Hell for meee#and also it doesn't match up with my mental image of myself so it's weird looking in a mirror and seeing. Somebody ? hfhsvh#long could be cool. unfortunately short may just be where i stay lol :)#WAIT. i forgot about wigs#Lmfshvhf - no but it Could be fun and makes a lot of sense. why choose and wait a couple months for room to mess around when you can just#Skip All of It. plusss my favorite hair would still be there. underneath#this makes sense to me it makes a lot of sense#Do i have the position‚ means‚ or proper space to do that? no. but longterm goals are cool hfkshvg#//dang did this cat get me on the back of my shoulder or what is that#?#? ?#irritation.. hmnm..#//okay yea anyway i've got a handful of things i wanna get toooo#this thing i've been working on has been SO funkin slow for some reason and idk why :'3 i have other things i wanna do hurry UP#hopefully i can figure out the colour situation tho cuz i feel like it's drawing away from the inks which i want to be a bit more focused o
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pastellmochi · 18 days ago
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non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing
#i was behind the camera nd i never blinked once lookinf at him i will jeffthge killer style burnoff my eyelids so th better i can lookathimw#i need to put My oil in his pores#i woudl fry my food w his face oil i'll let him feed me cockroaches and set me on fire like the one vid of the guy w the cockroach as long#s i get to set him on fire back i hope they project this on time square toe curlinf music tha t makes me gag if i was a vampire and he was#n his period. strawberry jam im in the background of all the shots just watching him itmust be crazy goinf from ibuki imperialism#sitch to kenta character focus all rise for the anthem of every country ever united under one stupid greenfHIS EXTRA VERSE IS PLAYOING OAOO#kenta shimeji that deletes all my shit and only plays his songs#gonna recite thi slike a mantra to myself rock myself back and forth in a corner if i get out of a parakive concert itll look like attempte#murder but i did it all myself in will be the guardian angel to everyone who worked on this everything after gokuluck is opposite of peak#poo. opposite of peak is poodoodoo. imagine having to ppost yer music after peakuluck kenta solved all my problems ever I LOVE WHEN YOU#CAN HEAR KENTAS SNARKY SMILE his little Alrights and okays and buu!If the sneezing when someones talking ab you myth was true#he would be sneezy bc of me HANDSOME HIII HANDSOME how am i gonna talk to non paralive moots what do i even say Hello! How ar e you!#i cant do that anymore im the surprise man from freak month are you sure its alright are you sure UUGUHHHH THE LITTLE wikaioaiugh at beginn#ng i love music thanks for inventing music guys thanks for inventing handsome Lockjaw Parvo Tetnis Botfly kenta tetnis eerm i thought yousa#tetris ☝️‼️‼️‼️ EVERYONE SHUT UP HES SPEAKING. LISTEN LISTENthe world will be like that one scen e in the one movie where they all stop tal#EXTRA VERSE CUTIEBEAR I LOV E YOU YOU SOUND SO PRETTYYY WE FINALLY GOT PRETTY SOUNDING KENTA AWROOO BOW WOW !!!!!! ing when he heads upstai#and just look at him when claudio went how cute how fun how SWEET and also when claudio went i spit in it my saliva is now inside all of th#se peoples bodies thats me when kenta leaves his energy drinks unattended but dw itll add extra fizz Hi ryog A the only way to describe how#i feel about kenta is like claudio gregory shawn mendes you cast a Spell on me Spell on me! STILL ALIVE okau HES SO CUUUTE kenta i will hel#you dispose of every other groups bodies okau man i gotta draw salkenta after this day 1 of scarface I already feel my beast form taking p#HIIIIE KENTA RIDE ON RIDE ON INDEED WAUAUUAA WAUUAUAUUAUA WAUAUAUAUAU kachi toru made lets be like UTV and the archiver babydoll my face is#n fire and SOOOO ARE YOUUUU KENTA COVER OF EVERYTHING FOR APRIL FOOLS CROSSING MY FINGERSS NO POINT IN ACTIN LIKE I DONT LIKE HIM I FOOOOLD#IM YOURS cozmez long forgotten they can be locked in the dome forever for all i care salkenta time im going to sweep kenta off his feet pri#cess style MY PRINCESS YOU DID SO WELL I'LL REWARD YUOUUU youre right youre a musical genius my god my savior my everything you are light y#u are like a fallen angel to me im gonna go kiss him sloppy now and listen to His Own music and draw him GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IM A GOKULU#K GIRL thank you for reading so far i really love kenta and he straight up changed my life i got rid of my ocd opened tabs so i could#watch the stream and i started drawing after 3 years and got back into music and made friends bc of him genuinely i love this guy so much#and no amount of content creation or words could ever convey it but i'll do s o either way i love this community i love my friends i lvoe m#paralive friends i love kenta. i lov ekneta i love kenta
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godblooded · 10 months ago
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let me tell you i haven’t ever felt this uncomfortable on here and i. hate. it.
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gu6chan · 2 months ago
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ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(
#gu6chan's musings#im so sad because literally ALL my pokemon games i've had as a teen i still have#up to sun and moon which i got on christmas when i was NINETEEN lmao!!!#but yeah pokemon was technically my first fandom ig???? i used to watch my brother play pokemon yellow and crystal a lot when i was TINY#but i never ACTUALLY played pokemon or video games in general myself until my older sister surprised me with my first video game console#and video game when she came up from florida 😭 a black dsi with pokemon black; i was 13 and my dad HATED her for it like 'Why are you#giving her videogames??? she's a girl :/' BUT I HAD IT!!!! MY FIRST EVER POKEMON GAME THAT BELONGED TO MEEEEE#i loved the SHIT out of that game and then got black 2; soulsilver and platinum; pokemon conquest; got the 3ds games...#i still have platinum/soulsilver as well as all the mainline 3ds games i believe#but conquest; black; and black 2 i lost :( literally my FAVOURITES i took them everywhere with me (which is why i lost them lmao)#funny enough i know exactly where black 2 IS though; its in the pocket of a jacket i owned but lost back between 2013-2014???#if i find the jacket it will 100% be in there; i just couldn't find the jacket and tbh idek if its still around anymore or is in storage#but if it is!!!! i'll literally cry lmao#black 2 is where i got my first level 100 pokemon; a magneton....... i ADORED that little bastard ouaaaghh....#i dont believe i ever managed to get past the league in black 2 though bc i remember being so pissed i couldnt get to see the other side of#the map beyond castelia city lmao#14-15 years old and i STILL didn't believe in stat moves 😭 i deserved to get shot#But fun fact: I DID get a new copy of Black a few years back!!! only it 1. already had save data on it and 2. it was full of rare/hacked#legendaries young me could only ever DREAM of having so i can't get myself to restart the save data even though i rlly want to.......#oh but funny enough!!! i also still have the 14 y/o dsi i was gifted back then; it still works though the battery cover is missing so you#have to hold it lol#but aaaaa so many fond memories of playing black and black 2... black 2 especially since i never really got to finish it lol#like#i finished the main CAMPAIGN with plasma and ghetsis trying to fucking kill you and all that (Something which i remember being so :0!!!?!?!#when i first saw it omgggg its such a clear memory aaaa) but i think like#i got up to the league and could never beat it........ so i just went back to training my mons till i got a level 100 magneton lmao#so many good memories; i hope i can get copies of black 2 and conquest again someday...
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lesbiansanemi · 3 months ago
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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fina1chase · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna cry on this freakin bus for real
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shirogane-oushirou · 5 months ago
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not ready to post him properly yet, bc i want to give him some pants first JHABSJHDBJHB but. i finished the ren plushie earlier today, and i've just been petting him and smoothing him down all evening. i just picked him up to keep doing it, and i unconsciously starting kissing his little forehead. i'm definitely not feeling soft for him. anyway.......... [sick to my stomach bc i love him and he's so cute]
ghost sighting of the boy:
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#rghhhh need to dig thru my undonatable clothes and make smth for him to wear so i can post him properly!!!!!! aaaaa!!!!#constantly fighting the imposter syndrome but like... honestly????? i'm a historically poor seamster#and i've never done embroidery before. but. if not for the carpal tunnel + pinched nerves + the hours it takes to make the damned things#(aka hours + materials = price FAAAAR too high for most ppl who would want one).... i would consider comms....#fuck knows many of us who have oc f/os or f/os who don't get love from creators could benefit from custom f/o plushies LMAO ;;#but yeag. even being super lenient wrt hours i'd take if i simplified features + got a sewing machine... factories do it cheaper...#i really surprised myself w this one tho! genuinely!! to the point that i'm considering a much bigger not-f/o not-plushie sewing project#that would take a looooong time to finish. but that'd a bucket list kind of thing lol.#also omg i can't wait to get back into ren daydreams KJNKJNZDKJ i've either been at PT (focusing on not fucking up)#or working on the plushie (also focusing on not fucking up kjsndkjfn) or too tired from both of those to even daydream lol#and while i'll probably be back to periodic radio silence if i do start that other sewing project... in the meantime. i want to love ren#and talk to fwiends and make little improvements to my life (i finally saw i.sttvg and it altered my brain permanently lala)~#i do wish i could do it all but. c'est la vie!!! the other project would be an endurance run so i'd HAVE to learn to balance better kjdjnkn#ogey i'm sweepy from the relief of only having clothes left + i'm trying to catch up on the dash!! waves joyfully as i Lounge (tm) <3#📌 [ my posts. ]#⚙️ [ 046 wips. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ]#🧃 [ who is in control. ]#���� [ can't escape it. ]#🐸 [ look ahead. ]
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radiotorn · 9 months ago
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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wisemins · 1 year ago
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Entry 1 | (1/30/24)
Just gonna start spewing my thoughts a bit when I can, I'm starting a new journey as of last night to really, really try to help my self-loathing and to gain a better sense of self and self-worth. Will also involve f/o stuff. I'll just be keeping these under read mores if y'all don't wanna read <3
So last night I just really broke down. To be short about it I'm just so tired of sabotaging myself and being my worst enemy and my worst advocate. I can't let myself have anything and there was something that my girlfriend said to me that made it all finally just...click. I was apologizing to her for being so "impossible" and for being so hard to deal with and then she said. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to." As in, I needed to apologize to myself. That the person I was being mean to, that I was bullying and making cry almost every day needed an apology because of how I'm treating her. It changed my perspective a lot, somehow. With self-shipping most of us learn to in some degree appreciate ourselves more because we are force to perceive ourselves from our f/os perspectives, a not so harsh view, right? Well my self-loathing is so bad that most days I can't even imagine them wanting to perceive me, and they are just with me *just because*. It's been such a hard time to cope with that, but I want to change it. I want to feel loved and cared for by them again, not just take care of them. That is a popular theme too, me taking care of everyone around me, always, and purposefully leaving no room left for myself because at times it hurt to receive affection and love, whether real or fictional. I just felt so undeserving and as if I wasn't *meant* to be loved, only to give love. That's a very isolating feeling. Throughout my life it felt like it continued to get proven again, and again. But in the end I need to realize that I do deserve love and to be taken care of too. I deserve to feel good, despite what my mind might say. I'm so fearful usually, that if I let myself have good things or be happy for myself or imagine my fictional loves loving me, that somehow it makes me self-centered and selfish. That's an irrational fear, obviously. But this all really just put it into perspective. I want to do better, but I also need to. I cannot continue on going like this anymore, it's too much. I destroy myself every day because others in my past have made me feel undeserving, and eventually I became that source of hatred. I don't want to hate myself anymore. My girlfriend also said something else that really hit home. "Would you say all the things you say to yourself to your face?" And, my answer was no. and she followed up with: "Would you make yourself cry like you do now, if she was in front of you?" And my answer was no, followed by more crying. My girlfriend said that was because I'm not a mean person like I said I was. I was convinced that I was a horrible, rude, and mean person who secretly was some kind of self-centered piece of shit that was angry and conceited and undeserving. But I couldn't stand to watch myself cry, to make myself cry like I always do. I say such horrible things to myself, at myself, hoping to destroy any more will to let myself have anything because it hurts so much to be vulnerable. But I need to be vulnerable, I need to learn how to express my feelings. I want to. I'm tired of shutting everything out, pretending it's all fine when I abuse myself daily. I don't deserve that.
And honestly, I don't think my f/os would be cool with me being this cruel to myself. I never like to acknowledge it because it forced me to face how wrong I was, but sometimes the darker hours would come and I would believe they'd believe it too. Or worst yet, I was plagued by the idea of indifference. How my beloveds wouldn't hate me, but rather, be completely and utterly indifferent toward me. That hurt the most, because as we all know (thank you desperate housewives) the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So I've dug holes within my ships, with the thought that my f/os, sometimes my most prized and long-lived f/os, would feel indifferent toward me. And it hurts, it hurts so much. I know they would never act like that or treat anyone that way ever, but it always feels like I'm the exception. But I know I'm not. I'm worthy of their love and care and affection, it's just so hard to see sometimes. I'm so incapable of looking inward and seeing who I truly am, instead I see every flaw and everything I hate about myself.
I do need more reassurance than I let on to everyone. I create for everyone else, I make them feel good about themselves all the time, which will never leave me, I do love making sure the people around me are happy, but I try so hard to not receive it back. I feel so unworthy. But I do need that reassurance, I do need others to sometimes say that my f/os do *love* me, that they don't feel indifferent toward me. I do need to also find it within myself to supply that sort of self care. But, I think starting with reassurance will help me. I just need to ask. Which, in my very mentally ill mind, is the most impossible task. But I will do that today, I will ask. And hopefully, it won't be the worst thing in the world.
well, this felt good to write down. A bit uncomfortable, because well-- I'm not used to sharing my feelings so much. But it's better than continuing to be repressed.
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tfwbluu · 17 days ago
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PAIRING — ni-ki + f!reader
WARNINGS — no plot, somnophilia, fingering, raw sex (stay safe!), creampie, sex in the dorms, kissing & marking up.
WORDCOUNT — 0.9K
NOTE — riki is the type to sleep shirtless i don’t make the rules. thank you all for patiently waiting, enjoy your food <3
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To say he wasn’t riled up by your sleeping form was an understatement. Maybe it was the delirium of the early hour, but the way your warm body pressed against his bare chest, a stark contrast to the cool air in the room, was nothing short of torment. Your soft breathing as you peacefully slept, and the way your ass settled perfectly against his growing arousal made it nearly impossible for him to focus on anything else.
The thin shirt you were wearing did little to help his restraint. One shoulder was left bare, the fabric slipping down just enough to tease him, and the hem had bunched up against your stomach, exposing the delicate lace of your white panties. His gaze lingered, drinking in every detail.
“Fuck… you’re such a tease even without doing anything, angel,” he murmured under his breath, his voice husky with longing as his hands hesitantly began to wander over your form. Slowly, he moved closer, his lips brushing softly against your exposed shoulder.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t talked about these moments before—after all, you were the one who had surprised him by initiating morning sex not long ago, waking him with your mouth wrapped around him. The memory made his restraint slip even further.
After what felt like an eternity of debating with himself, he finally decided to give in to the temptation. With deliberate care, he pushed down his sweats and boxers, freeing himself. His hands gently slipped beneath your panties, pulling them down with practiced ease, careful not to wake you.
He gently adjusted your position carefully, not wanting you to wake up just yet. You shivered in your sleep as the cool air touched your arousal, he took a small squirt of lube before pressing his fingers on them, gently pushing them in one first before another. You hummed in your sleep, squirming a little bit but not entirely awake. Riki couldn’t hold back anymore. He pulled his fingers from you, earning a soft whine that sent shivers down his spine.
“Shit, you’re so sensitive, aren’t you, angel?” he murmured, his voice low and raspy. Aligning his length against your soaked folds, he pushed in gently, savoring the way your body welcomed him. Slowly, he began to move, each thrust purposeful and controlled.
His hands pressed firmly into the bedsheets on either side of you, his gaze locked on your squirming form. Your eyes fluttered open, a groan spilling from your lips as a sudden wave of pleasure coursed through your body.
“Ki…? Ngh…” you moaned, your voice hazy and laced with sleep, the sensation of him filling you overwhelming.
“There’s my baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” Riki whispered, his tone soft but filled with desire. He leaned down, pressing feather-light kisses along your collarbone and up to your jaw, his hips still moving in a steady rhythm. “You just looked so pretty, baby. I couldn’t hold myself,” he confessed, his lips finally capturing yours, swallowing your small, needy whines as he thrust deeper into you.
“Mhm, Riki…” You breathed out, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, slowly losing control in your own voice, becoming louder and louder as he pressed harder into you.
“Careful, baby. We’re still in the dorms,” Riki murmured, his voice husky but steady, pressing a hand over your lips to stifle your moans. “I know you can be a good girl and stay quiet, right?” he teased, his dark eyes locking with yours.
The muffled sounds of your cries mixed with the wet squelching and the sharp slapping of your bodies meeting, the only noises filling the room. Despite his caution, his desperation grew with each passing second. He hooked your legs up higher, angling himself to hit deeper inside you, his pace quickening as the tension in both of you began to peak.
“Fuck, baby, your pussy’s taking me so well—like it was made for me,” he groaned near your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. Between kisses along your shoulders and collarbones, he could feel the way you tightened around him, the knot in your stomach nearing its breaking point.
“Cum for me, baby,” he urged, his voice both commanding and tender as he thrust one last time, sending you spiraling into your release. Your walls clenched tightly around him, pushing him over the edge as he spilled into you, the warmth of his seed filling you. He continued his slow, gentle thrusts before pulling out, watching with fascination as his release dripped from you. “That’s it,” he whispered, his tone full of admiration.
“You’re so needy,” you teased through labored breaths, locking eyes with him, your lips curling into a soft smirk.
“Just for you,” he replied without hesitation, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. He lay beside you, pulling you close, his eyes glowing with affection as you both caught your breath. But it didn’t take long before he grew hard again.
“Do you think you can take a few more, baby?” he asked, his fingers brushing over your sensitive skin. Before you could respond, his hard cock was already pushing inside you again, your leg instinctively resting over his hip as he filled you once more. “Fuck, Ki… Ah~!” you whimpered, as he smirked against the crook of your neck.
“Be quiet,” he whispered, his voice low and teasing as he began to move slowly, each thrust growing in need. “We wouldn’t want my hyungs to know how much you love my cock, hmm?”
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TAGLIST — @kikidoul @rikiives @contyynishimura @ziiao @lilmarsh-t @bxcndd @laylasbunbunny @d-dilemma
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screampied · 8 months ago
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Hello my love🩵 I know you’ve had a similar request to this before but I just love the way you write him so can we get soft dom choso who an obnoxiously big dick😵‍💫 like reader is trying to act like she can take it but he just knows she can’t so he just stays buried inside them and rubs their clit until she cums and is finally comfortable enough for him to move
trying to take big dick choso ★
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warnings. fem! reader, soft dom choso, size kink, praise, whiny choso, cowgirl.
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“just lie back baby,” you whisper against the shuck of his ear, gawking lovingly as his pretty long lashes flutter from your words alone. choso’s heart flutters dramatically by default, you’re hovering over his leaky tip and he can’t help but exhale out a low sigh of what’s to come. he’s all pent up and frazzled—he’s had a long day with dealing with irksome enemies and you told him you’d help relieve some of his stress. “wanna ride you.”
“o- okay,” he swallows, gently bringing his perspiring-coated hands towards your waist. choso’s touch was always so delicate, he stares at you all doe-eyed like and tries hard to suppress his moans once you finally hover over his top. you inhale, glancing down at his wide, mushroom tip that was leaking with various amounts of viscous candied pre. “you’re so pretty.”
his words of affection only make you pulse more between your thighs as you prepare to take him. inch by inch, once his tip bedaubs near your soddened entrance in such a sloppy fashion, you whine. choso’s overwhelmed with how pretty you look like this — in such a position, straddling him. he bites his lip as you’re barreling his length. with a brief jerk forward, he’s slowly easing his way into your folds before your jaw gradually swings itself open it utter surprise. then it hits you,
he’s fucking big.
almost right away, you feel the thick impact of choso’s stupendous girth,
you’re barely even moving but you’re still trying to take him fully. he hears the sudden change of patterns from your breath — they’re all trembly and erratic. with a cute look of worry, he nips a few kisses near your collarbone. “baby,” he whimpers, albeit it’s in the more form of a question. the softness of his fingertips brush against your skin as he feels you struggle to take him. “h-how is it? ‘s it okay? should i hold your hips?”
“i’m okay, ‘cho,” you huff out, almost positive at this rate you were gonna cum. you look down, feeling the pressure inside of you weaken only to then arise. as you grind your hips forward, you bite your lip with your head slightly throwing itself back. “f-fuuuck,” you’d croak out, slumping your limp arms around his broad shoulders. choso awkwardly holds onto you tightly, moaning himself from the way your gummy walls try to swallow him whole. “y- yeah, jus’ hold me okay? just like that, baby.”
“so warm inside,” he purrs, a sheepish smile tugging against his lips as he slouches back. you had him whipped—he needed you in such a carnal way that the tips of his ears burn a feverish hot. he’s feeling all of you all at once, your insides mashing against his, it was pure bliss. so warm, your gloopy walls itself were seductive—loose and clamping down on him, wringing against him voluntarily. “you can take it baby, s-so good, fuckkk.”
you could barely bare around him, the plump head of his cock continues to squeeze around you before you stay still, dragging your hands toward between your thighs.
choso watches with hazy eyes, your own fingers ghosting against your clit. “is it okay if i touch myself, choso?”
“you don’t have to ask,” he whines, his eyes softening as he presses a wet kiss against your chin. for a few seconds, you rub your fingers against your clit before he’s fully in. you moan, feeling his cock just sit still inside of you. choso swallows the lump residing in his throat before he holds onto your right hip with one hand. “even if you’re not riding me, you still look so b-beautiful.”
it makes his mouth water, you’re squeezing around him so tight, his breath is coming out in short pants as he’s just stuffing you full of his inches. choso’s big, you and him both knew that.
the raw stretch makes your mouth open ajar, you try to shift your hips forward but he’s just so big.
choso’s swollen sack sticks against your skin like glue. the lower undersides of his thighs burn, a scorching temperature of heat whilst you sit on him before he lies back. ripped abs of his curl and clench underneath his white tee as he suddenly starts to feel his own head theon back. with a low sigh, choso covers a hand over his face that was starting to brighten a cute tint of embarrassment.
“f- fuuuck,” and with that, you collapse right into your boyfriend. he catches you, soft inky pupils of his take in your beauty as you’re stuffed full of him. his cock remains still as a statue before you whimper once you feel his own fingers brush against your clit. “k- keep doin’ that baby, please. ‘m gonna cum.”
“i love your voice so m- much,” choso whines, feeling himself get sensitive himself from the hot warmth your clingy walls provide. it’s barely any friction happening but still — with his size, you’re basically getting fucked stupid. just without the delicious movement to back it up. choso starts to nibble on your neck, continuing to rub against your sweet drooling cunt. “praise me some more, please, t- talk to me, wanna make you cum.”
his voice— it was also sweet and shaky, you lift your head up to give him a quick kiss before moaning, “you make me feel so good, baby. keep rubbing me there, o- okay? jus’ like that,” and you press a kiss against the left temple of his cheek.
choso’s heart was about to explode— he was so in love, figuratively melting with his twitching shaft exploring your love cave.
“mmhn, cum for me. ‘s okay, make a mess so i can clean you right up princess.” he mutters back, hearing a familiar ring screech through his ears.
the pressure continues to alleviate, your entire body feels misty, everything’s a blur.
as choso’s thick fingers consistently strum against your sopping cunt, he’s still buried into your tightening walls before you finally let go. it’s as if everything’s going in slow motion.
your lips part and you gasp—a devoted, obscene orgasm finally rips out of your throat before your thighs shake over him.
skin to skin, body to body, he feels like you’re just stuck against him like a leech—clinging onto him like velcro, never ever letting go. that was perfect for choso because he didn’t want you to ever go anyway. you’re so pretty once you release though, eyelashes compressing together, jaw hung open, brows furrowing into a disbelieving curve—oh, you were in heaven.
despite how you weren’t able to ride him how you originally wanted— you were still a bit saddened by it, embarrassed.
choso notices the cute pout forming against your spit soaked lips before he cups your face. heaving heavily, he leans in to kiss your nose, a humming “mwah,” comes from him and your rapidly beating heart suddenly swoons. “i love you.”
“i- i love you too,” you puff out a single breath of fresh air, still feeling your thighs quaver from your recent teeth-shattering climax. as his dick was still tucked inside of your gripping walls, you mimic his gesture, kissing the tip of his nose. “you’re such a good boy ‘cho, did so good.”
“heh, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep praising me like that, baby.” he tries to joke— yet once he feels you shift your hips a little to move, he’s suddenly hard again. “o-oh fuck.”
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satoruan · 1 year ago
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THINK I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY w/Jujutsu Kaisen
( TW ) f!Reader, Breeding kink, unprotected sex, cream pie, cum inflation, hair pulling, sex toys, overstimulation, stepdad!Toji, daddy kink, overstimulation
Featuring: Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Geto Suguru & Choso Kamo
authors note: repost bc tumblr took it down for no reason...
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☾ GOJO SATORU
“Fuck Love, you’re sucking me so good.” Satoru groans, struggling to not crash the car. During dinner, you two kept passing each other such heated looks that even your friends commented on the tension. Earlier today, you got a notification from your health app that you were ovulating. Satoru jumped on you as soon you told him, he wanted to stay in all day and fuck, but your guys’ friends blew up his phone reminding him of the promises you both made to them. After dinner you couldn't keep your hands off each other, you were desperate for his cum and Satoru was desperate to breed you. “Don’t cum ‘Toru.” You warn before sticking his cock back in your mouth. “Can’t help it Love, mouth too fuckin’ good,” he says, sighing in relief when he pulls onto your street, clicking the button in his car that opens the garage. He barely has the chance to take the keys out of the ignition before you pull him out of the car. “Don’t have time to make it up to the bed, just fuck me right here.” You demand, leaning over the car and presenting Satoru with your ass. Satoru pulls your dress up and shoves his cock into your pussy. He reaches over your hip to stimulate your clit. “‘Toru, just cum in me, I don't care ‘bout gettin’ off.” You move your ass in perfect sync with his hips. “You sure Love–” “Breed me ‘Toru!” You moan, feeling his cum fill you up. You drop your head to the still-warm hood of the car, finally able to catch your breath now that his load was deep in your cunt. “C’mon Love, let's finish this in the bedroom.” 
☾ TOJI FUSHIGURO  
You peak over the corner of the hallway, winking at Toji who was busy talking to your mother. ‘Come fuck me.’ Your mouth once you catch his attention before running back up the stairs, careful not to make any noises. You told your mom that you weren't feeling well, that during the drive back from college you must’ve caught something. In all honestly, you just wanted a chance to freely fuck your stepdad without your mother coming in and out of your room. Specifically, you wanted to be bred by him, and the best way to keep his cum in you was to use several pillows and put them under your ass so his cum didn’t spill out, hence why you didn't want your mom to barge into your room. Thank God she's a germaphobe. You strip out the Pj set you threw on and lay yourself face down, ass up. Your stepdad’s favorite position. As expected, you hear your stepdad softly shut the door a few minutes later. “Desperate now, are we?” He grips your hips. “Always desperate for you Daddy.” you mumble into the bed. “Huh,” he slaps your ass before pulling you up by the hair. “Didn’t hear you slut.” “Said ‘m always desperate for you Daddy, even prepared myself with the dildo you bought me.” You whimper. “Such a good girl,” He pulls his hard cock out of his slacks, gives it a few tugs before stuffing your cunt to the brim. “Now take this dick slut.” He pushes your head down into your lilac duvet. You try and fail to be silent when his dick hits that special spot every time he goes deep enough. “You okay in there, y/n?” You hear your mother's muffled voice through the door. You clench down on your daddy's dick in surprise, causing him to fuck you faster. “Y/n?” “Y-yes mom, I'm fine, just go away p-please.” You gasp out, throwing your head back into the bed in ecstasy when you hear her mumble and walk away. “Daddy, 'm cumming! Cum with me!” You whisper-yell. “Gonna fill this pussy, get you so full of my seed you can never leave this house again.” He grunts, slamming into you at a bruising pace. “Yes, please Daddy, fill me up!” You orgasm and Toji follows suit, filling you with so much cum it spills out.  
☾ GETO SUGURU 
“I'm so full Sugu.” You mumble, dazed. You fight the urge to close your eyes and fall back into Suguru’s big, warm chest. “Wake up sweet girl. ‘M not done yet.” He mumbles into your sweaty neck. “B-but Sugu–” “Shush Lovebug, one more time.” Suguru looks over your shoulder to see where you two are connected. He plugged you up good, but after so many loads a trickle of his cum slowly travels down his almost empty balls. “O-one more.” You grab his chin and kiss him sweetly. He rubs your noses together before grabbing your hips and moving you down the shaft of his cock. He pays close attention to not pull you over the tip of his cock. You hold onto your stomach, feeling it protrude slightly more than normal, Sugu’s cock and cum inflating you. You feel like a cum filled, flesh light as Sugu moves you to his liking. It’s hard to believe he has more cum in him. “Fuck Lovebug, you feel so warm and tight.” He mummers, giving you a few more neck kisses. You lean closer into him. Right now, you want to live in his skin. “Love you Sugu, can’t wait ta have your baby.” “I Love you too, can’t wait to see you carryin’ my child.” He grips your hips tighter at the thought.  “‘bout to fuck another load into you sweet girl, you wan’ it?” “Yes please, more than anything.” You rest your head back into his shoulder. He shrugs at your head until your mouth is close enough to kiss. He slams your hips down and cums as you two make out and whisper sweet nothings. 
☾ CHOSO KAMO
“Again, Baby.” Choso holds the vibrator to your clit. You arch your back and forget the fact that you have nipple clamps on. You scream when the clamps move. Your entire body is sensitive, Choso came up with the idea to simulate you to the max when you said you wanted to have his baby, that you wanted him to breed to and fill you to the brim with his cum. You readily agreed to his idea because you knew that the more orgasms you had the better chance you had to get pregnant, something about the virginal walls relaxing when women orgasm. Now though, you’re regretting it. Choso’s been holding the vibrator on your clit for the last hour and every time you think you’ve gone numb to the sensation; he finds a way to make you cum harder than the last. “N-no Choso, ‘m done down, I've cum as I can, wan’ you to fuckmenow!” You slur your words, the pleasure making you lightheaded. “One more Babygirl.” He soothes you, rubbing your stomach and imagining what you’d look like full of his cum. Beautiful, you’d look beautiful. “At least fuck me while you give me another orgasm!” You argue, staring at him with glossed-over puppy eyes. Choso gives in and situates himself between your legs, still holding the vibrator over your clit. You sigh happily when he sets the vibrator down and thrust his cock in you. You thought you were completely numb down there but the feeling of Choso thrusting into your hole that’s been contracting nothing felt godly. Adding that with the vibrator that he put back on your clit, you come immediately. “Choso!” You scream clenching around him so tight he can’t help cumming. “Fuck! ‘M filling you up so good baby!” 
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