#I dunno sad stuff
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i humbly request strong bad going crazy go nuts over VR headsets of today and walk directly into a wall its also not exactly clear how he got it hooked up to his 70s television in the basement
strong sads teaching him
#skills of an artist#h*r#homestar runner#strong bad#strong sad#i dunno anything about vr . its still future stuff to me
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Actually I haven't been doing so well lately. Maybe these cute beast kitties will cheer someone up in my stead
#semi vent#maybe?#there's supposed to be a sequel to this but mmm dunno if i'll finish it or not#I like to keep the blog light hearted but still I'm just a human who gets sad sometimes#so much comically bad stuff have happened in the past 4-days I dunno whether to cry or laugh#luckily nothing too bad#only some incidents of ruined possessions and one incident of bodily harm#all caused by my own incompetent so I can't even complain lol#art#fanart#stuff i draw
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I love that In Stars and Time gives the nonconsensual kiss a proper horrified reaction, by the way. Most media where a character can kiss someone out of no where either make it a funny thing or the "romantic" thing, but here Siffrin kisses without permission out of no where and Isabeau reacts correctly! He pushed them away! Because thats surprising, and fucked up to do to someone with no lead up and no permission! Isabeau had no context, and at the time when the kiss happened, was under the impression that Siffrin didn't like touch which can have a variety of horrible reasons for it. Not only that but... We don't know what face Siffrin was pulling and I don't think it was a nice one. Which, again, means that we don't have all the context either! This is a horrible event that has horrible consequences and I love that it does. Because it's something that is horrible and objectively one of the worst things Siffrin did to one of the others in the loops, so I'm just!!! So excited it had bad consequences!!!
#Isat#Isat Siffrin#Isat Isabeau#bad touch event#Isat spoilers#I dunno I think it's great commentary actually cause this game has a very big focus on forcing change on others#And how that can affect people who are AceAro of some flavors#Which is so interesting because Siffrin tells Mira she doesn't need to change that part of herself and that they are like her#At least in the ace part. And then they do this? Try to force a change in a way that they had just denounced?? Its!! Interesting!!!#Also don't fucking look at me I'm just getting sad about how many characters get nonconsensual kissed in media#And it's framed as a ''good'' thing#Anyway as a fellow Ace... Seeing Siffrin do that makes me both excited and horrified because I'm sure Siffrin has their own experiences wit#Hearing threats like that or getting harassed about kisses and stuff and the fact that they turn around and do it to Isa...AAAAAHH!! yaknow#I know that parts not canon but fellow aces... You know what I'm talking about! I just can't imagine Siffrin doesn't have at least one#Moment like ours!!! Hhhhhhhnnnnnn
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I think i fell out of dca obsession:(((((((
Now i dont know what to do with myself
#im sorry im a bit sad now#thing is usually i find a thing and then am obsessed over it for like around half a year and then it just stops#and i cant really do anything against it#and i have been going for a while by sheer willpower but i dunno#like i still have stuff that i would like to draw i just dont feel like it#maybe i just wait for a bit and dont try to force it
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Through the years, from popinjay to coxcomb to maccaroni to dandy to dude
#and from dude to gigolo if i have anything to say about it#baby i can the sweet mama to your sad and lonesome#this was so fun to draw my favorite hobby is historical fashion#are they accurate? not answering that. i refuse to draw codpieces#at my heart i am unfortunately a coward#i know i gave dandy kayne a short haircut at first but then i remembered all the mullets ive been seeing and i had to give it a try#i hope it looks like he as having fun throughout the eras <3#malevolent#kayne malevolent#but anyays like i as saying theres no ay king is appearing regularly in a three piece suit and not bringing that energy to#every other century#and i almost drew him in like plate armor but if he’s like snapping his fingers and ppl explode bro is not gonna get a suit of armor#that was wishful thinking on my part i remedied it he dresses like a bourgeoise i have to accept it#if i did this with the yellow king it would be like 5 inages of the same dude copied and pasted#i started giving the yellow king a pennanular brooch and even then i as like whoah thats kinda lavish for john#i dunno maybe i should fuck around with his robes and try some stuff out#hmmmmmmm i do like jewelry……….#new project: project runway but with john doe#and then eventually ill help poor arthur out#tho honestly i think he really probably dos have an eye for quality clothing i think he’s probably respectably fashionable but he#cares more abt quality#id love to put my boy in a fishermans sweater tho i feel like he needs something warm and sturdy on his journeys <3
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You mentioned you romanced Lucanis, how do you feel about Neve x Lucanis getting together if you don't romance either of them?
It's fine, I guess.
I romanced Davrin on my first playthrough, and I'll be honest, Neve and Lucanis getting together came out of no where for me. After the scene played, I realized that I rarely had them together in my party, and if I had, it'd probably make more sense. Or have more chemistry.
I left that scene like, "...What just happened? Oh well, good for them, I guess, have fun!"
I had Neve in my party a lot [Davrin and Neve were my go-to duo], and Lucanis was unfortunately benched until it was time to do his quests... which is really ironic, like if you had asked me who my least favorite companion was at the end of that first playthrough, it would've been Lucanis.
It doesn't help that I saved Minrathous, so I missed out on some of his personal quests, too.
I didn't dislike him or anything... though learning about Spite did have me throw him off the table of potential love interests because that Anders Romance Trauma [affectionate] kicked in and I said, "noooooo, I'm not doing that again, you cannot make meeee-"
Which, again.... ironic. Because he crawled his way back onto the table and made me feel things. It healed some parts of me. But also did more damage. It's complicated, like being an andersmancer makes it a whole other discussion for another day.
I will say, I saw a lot of talk about Neve and Lucanis prior to doing his romance which made me wonder if it was another Isabela and Fenris "Isabela bad because she USES Fenris if you don't romance him" situation where players are weirdly jealous and take it out on the female character... which uh oh.
Yeah, I can honestly say I never felt "threatened" by Neve while pursuing Lucanis. I brought them out and about several times, waited to see if they'd flirt or anything, or give me a reason to feel that he liked her more than my Rook, and like... It's not just a Neve and Lucanis thing.
It's more to do with Rook feeling like an outsider within the group who isn't allowed to interact with their companions until the game tells them to. Walking around the lighthouse feels really lonely sometimes because you're just approaching your friends, listening to their conversations, and then they look at you like "....can we help you?" and you just... walk away. Also the visual during team meetings where everyone is sitting together with Rook on the other side by themselves with only Assan sitting at their feet...
...again, topic for another day.
Anyway, aside from that? No, I never felt like they crossed a line for me that would make feel like they liked each other better than Rook. If there is banter that does, then I didn't get it.
There was this really sweet banter after I locked his romance in though, the one where Neve commented on Lucanis smiling more and making sure he recognizes that he's happy with Rook. That only endeared me to Neve more than I already was, I adore her.
But if I'm not romancing either of them? Let them have their fun, y'know?
#dav#veilguard#dragon age veilguard#neve gallus#lucanis dellamorte#neve x lucanis#also tbh while i say let them have their fun they're not a couple i would've put together like...... rana was right there#i was so sure the first time around that neve and rana were going to be a thing if i didn't romance her but okay i guess not#and i dunno..... lucanis and davrin am i right#also i could write about how alone rook feels through out veilguard and how often the narrative doesn't treat them like a person#but as a hero in one of varric's stories and how that parallels the inquisitor and solas like people view you as a figure not a person#the hof and hawke have this too like its something that makes me deeply sad in a good and bad way#i think rook's execution of this is the weakest but its still there and i like it but gaaahhhh not the time. topic for another day#don't mind me i've just been sick for a few weeks and finally have the energy to write more stuff about veilguard
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told yall we wouldnt be getting year 3 from allegory
#magic and mystery#allegory_for_hatred#m&m coil#m&m#coil#lmao#but yeah rip original m&m series#hope allegory is doing well#and im sure this fandom will make it's own year 3s anyway#the ending was painful tho#ouch#thank god it wasnt snape tho lmao#i thought it was at first#yeah we're fucked#anyone who continues the series pls know you are legally required to give a happy ending in the end#m&m as a whole cannot end depressingly#it would destroy me#technically coil did but id say that unles a happy ending comes before year 7 then we have until year 7 for a happy ending#ended well tho#godddd m&m is so well written#but painful#but yeah#i hope blaise is okay#he must be dying from guilt#i dunno how dazai would be able to uphold his promise to blaise of writing#but if he doesnt and blaise and him commit murder together#and blaise doesnt even have dazai to talk to...#itd just be rlly sad#luna kinda joined the gang at the end there tho#uhhhhh plently of stuff to talk abt but im rlly sad so im gonna let it marinate and then come back
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To look up at a sibling’s sacrifice
Darker and but bluer version under the cut
The lamp posts just look better here- I really need to stop drawing at full brightness lmaoooo
#that’s a lie#I’ll never stop#I crave the blinding light like a moth#don’t tell the knight- they might not like that#anyway a little guy and their sibling#as close as they’ll get without trying to kill each other#siblings ammirite?#nah but- sad sad stuff-#hollow knight#the hollow knight#the knight#I like to call them ghost :3#city of tears#memorial to the hollow knight#I dunno man this place specifically is just beautiful
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push that thing down the stairs
#SQIRNK SKNK SQKNK SWEK SQUENK#sound of them falling#squeaky sal#ocs#fursona#pooltoy#i am. mentally doing awful so working on this next comic has been a little cathartic (( youll see later )) and also destroying me. a bit.#i want it to be a bit longer but i dunno how to fluff it up#but i dunno having psychotic episdes and feeling unsafe and being alone 24 7 hasnt been helping with all the stuff thats currently going on#i dont really have anyone to talk to so im rambiling here#you dont have to read this btw#i dotn wanna be negitive on my blog and keep stuff happy adn fun ebcause i dont wanna be saf#*sad#mm
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...
#thinking about death again bc my dad texted an update on my mum#apparently she got a blood transfusion and threw up. thrilling stuff. but it just nudges at my head#bc it just makes me think. when shes gone its going to leave a trace. the outline of a person#i dont kno why i find that so upsetting. i just think about all the half completed scrapbooks that will whither away in my sisters old room#and it makes me cry. shell leave behind her incomplete scrapbooks. half tumbled rocks. containers of sea glass and lucky stones. digital#conversation thatll never be responded to. shoes and clothes#and memories. evidence of of a life no longer there to live it#and it just makes me sad i guess. i dunno. theres something sad about a project that will never be finished#a project doomed to be forgotten because it was only ever in the care of one person#but thats how it goes. what is is. nothing to be done about it but feel that sadness#i dunno. my head is full of static and frustration for unrelated reasons#but death pokes at my head during the day and i lose my already unsteady focus in an effort not to cry#im tired and sad and wishing my medication was working better#shes not even dead yet. im pulling a roman r0y and pre grieving. except for reals#unrelated
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anime tag dont have one million untagged ai "art"s challenge (impossible)
#im so tired. are yall tired. :/#“ghibli ai for any character you want” we used to have people do those themselves...#im not even into that but like. it just seems kind of sad i guess#ever since its become more popular ive seen less and less arts in tags and more and more ai stuff#like in the long run i guess there are bigger things to worry about but like. it just feels lonely and sad#i dunno... i guess i just had to get this off my chest
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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If I could actually color and shade with real colors and not just black and white and have it not be complete dogshit it would be so over for you guys.
#I literally can not color with color it always looks bad and I get very sad#if you look at all of my art all the best stuff is the grayscale stuff and I love that stuff I really really super do#but dammit I'm so jealous of people who can actually like I dunno... understand how colors work and can make them actually look good?#no wonder I never finish anything in a timely manner#abby's self depreciation hour#<- bringing back this dinosaur#actually pretty glad we haven't used that around here in a while that's a good sign right?👍#abby attempts to draw
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Not going the best (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Cure#Vent#The start of it anyhow#Draw to take the mind off things - or to approach the hurt without touching it directly#Gift-giving season 2024 was just - bad lol#Birthday was sad and Christmas was sad just toss it plsthx#I mean there were good things! I got a couple plushies for Christmas which I like - I got a Bulbasaur ♥#But there were also a lot of bad things......hghh....#If I turn to Bar it's only fair Charm turns to [Coffee] for comfort#He really needs a name maybe this year will finally be the year I buckle down and make a naming convention#Bit of Cure as well - we're both chibi'd the heck out but ehhh approximate size maybe#She's probably a little big here actually but I dunno maybe she kept her proportions lol - maybe I'm just super chibi'd#Normally I wouldn't turn to her but I needed some cutes and she is definitely that#I watched an anime recently that kinda reminded me of her too hmmm - she won't get any signifiers from it I don't think but maybe new toys#She does enjoy things to play with lol (read: mess with other people with)#Napping without glasses is something that pops up a surprising amount for me huh - I mean yeah that's how I sleep but as an art subject hm#Graphite version of TVAU Charm from the silhouette/ink set! With a better grasp on the expression I was going for#I don't think I Quite got it - it's harder with simple dot eyes to imply directionality#Tiny aside into a brief bit of levity - before things broke bad again lol - I tried a little sample size of moonshine eggnog#Shit's lit honestly it was really tasty and decently high proof so even for such a small amount I got a bit dizzy! Nice#I was gifted the same brand's coffee moonshine and it was neither as tasty or effective but I appreciate the gesture all the same#First night my PC was out - obviously I was worried for her :( I'd only backed up a handful of files not including my Ghostkinz stuff#So I was very worried they'd be affected.... They weren't but boy was that a gamble!#The other stuff... I mean first of all thank goodness I /had/ backed up that handful because a few corrupted while she was out#That last scribble in particular was after the confirmation that my diary was lost And she had bluescreened#We were out and about seeing if we could pass the time until her permissions got transferred over and had just called it that No we couldn't#So we called it and went home and I got to start trying to parse those feelings while still trying to Secret Santa hahaa... Hgh just toss it
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computer how to deal with grief of missing a production
#i speak#like. obviously i wanna see the Big ones. like yeah im sad i didnt see the 2017 falsettos revival. right.#but im also soooo devastated i missed stuff closer to home#at risk of doxxing myself ill spare the specifics but like. between local productions of stuff ive liked since high school#and Big productions in The City of stuff i hyperfixated on really hard like!!! right around when it was!!!#and i just!!! couldnt get it together in time#i really think i should just go see some by myself sometimes. so i dont miss out.#but like!!! part of the fun is getting to infodump afterwards.#so :(#i dunno.
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