#I dunno sad stuff
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Actually I haven't been doing so well lately. Maybe these cute beast kitties will cheer someone up in my stead
#semi vent#maybe?#there's supposed to be a sequel to this but mmm dunno if i'll finish it or not#I like to keep the blog light hearted but still I'm just a human who gets sad sometimes#so much comically bad stuff have happened in the past 4-days I dunno whether to cry or laugh#luckily nothing too bad#only some incidents of ruined possessions and one incident of bodily harm#all caused by my own incompetent so I can't even complain lol#art#fanart#stuff i draw
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I love that In Stars and Time gives the nonconsensual kiss a proper horrified reaction, by the way. Most media where a character can kiss someone out of no where either make it a funny thing or the "romantic" thing, but here Siffrin kisses without permission out of no where and Isabeau reacts correctly! He pushed them away! Because thats surprising, and fucked up to do to someone with no lead up and no permission! Isabeau had no context, and at the time when the kiss happened, was under the impression that Siffrin didn't like touch which can have a variety of horrible reasons for it. Not only that but... We don't know what face Siffrin was pulling and I don't think it was a nice one. Which, again, means that we don't have all the context either! This is a horrible event that has horrible consequences and I love that it does. Because it's something that is horrible and objectively one of the worst things Siffrin did to one of the others in the loops, so I'm just!!! So excited it had bad consequences!!!
#Isat#Isat Siffrin#Isat Isabeau#bad touch event#Isat spoilers#I dunno I think it's great commentary actually cause this game has a very big focus on forcing change on others#And how that can affect people who are AceAro of some flavors#Which is so interesting because Siffrin tells Mira she doesn't need to change that part of herself and that they are like her#At least in the ace part. And then they do this? Try to force a change in a way that they had just denounced?? Its!! Interesting!!!#Also don't fucking look at me I'm just getting sad about how many characters get nonconsensual kissed in media#And it's framed as a ''good'' thing#Anyway as a fellow Ace... Seeing Siffrin do that makes me both excited and horrified because I'm sure Siffrin has their own experiences wit#Hearing threats like that or getting harassed about kisses and stuff and the fact that they turn around and do it to Isa...AAAAAHH!! yaknow#I know that parts not canon but fellow aces... You know what I'm talking about! I just can't imagine Siffrin doesn't have at least one#Moment like ours!!! Hhhhhhhnnnnnn
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I think i fell out of dca obsession:(((((((
Now i dont know what to do with myself
#im sorry im a bit sad now#thing is usually i find a thing and then am obsessed over it for like around half a year and then it just stops#and i cant really do anything against it#and i have been going for a while by sheer willpower but i dunno#like i still have stuff that i would like to draw i just dont feel like it#maybe i just wait for a bit and dont try to force it
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Through the years, from popinjay to coxcomb to maccaroni to dandy to dude
#and from dude to gigolo if i have anything to say about it#baby i can the sweet mama to your sad and lonesome#this was so fun to draw my favorite hobby is historical fashion#are they accurate? not answering that. i refuse to draw codpieces#at my heart i am unfortunately a coward#i know i gave dandy kayne a short haircut at first but then i remembered all the mullets ive been seeing and i had to give it a try#i hope it looks like he as having fun throughout the eras <3#malevolent#kayne malevolent#but anyays like i as saying theres no ay king is appearing regularly in a three piece suit and not bringing that energy to#every other century#and i almost drew him in like plate armor but if he’s like snapping his fingers and ppl explode bro is not gonna get a suit of armor#that was wishful thinking on my part i remedied it he dresses like a bourgeoise i have to accept it#if i did this with the yellow king it would be like 5 inages of the same dude copied and pasted#i started giving the yellow king a pennanular brooch and even then i as like whoah thats kinda lavish for john#i dunno maybe i should fuck around with his robes and try some stuff out#hmmmmmmm i do like jewelry……….#new project: project runway but with john doe#and then eventually ill help poor arthur out#tho honestly i think he really probably dos have an eye for quality clothing i think he’s probably respectably fashionable but he#cares more abt quality#id love to put my boy in a fishermans sweater tho i feel like he needs something warm and sturdy on his journeys <3
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told yall we wouldnt be getting year 3 from allegory
#magic and mystery#allegory_for_hatred#m&m coil#m&m#coil#lmao#but yeah rip original m&m series#hope allegory is doing well#and im sure this fandom will make it's own year 3s anyway#the ending was painful tho#ouch#thank god it wasnt snape tho lmao#i thought it was at first#yeah we're fucked#anyone who continues the series pls know you are legally required to give a happy ending in the end#m&m as a whole cannot end depressingly#it would destroy me#technically coil did but id say that unles a happy ending comes before year 7 then we have until year 7 for a happy ending#ended well tho#godddd m&m is so well written#but painful#but yeah#i hope blaise is okay#he must be dying from guilt#i dunno how dazai would be able to uphold his promise to blaise of writing#but if he doesnt and blaise and him commit murder together#and blaise doesnt even have dazai to talk to...#itd just be rlly sad#luna kinda joined the gang at the end there tho#uhhhhh plently of stuff to talk abt but im rlly sad so im gonna let it marinate and then come back
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To look up at a sibling’s sacrifice
Darker and but bluer version under the cut
The lamp posts just look better here- I really need to stop drawing at full brightness lmaoooo
#that’s a lie#I’ll never stop#I crave the blinding light like a moth#don’t tell the knight- they might not like that#anyway a little guy and their sibling#as close as they’ll get without trying to kill each other#siblings ammirite?#nah but- sad sad stuff-#hollow knight#the hollow knight#the knight#I like to call them ghost :3#city of tears#memorial to the hollow knight#I dunno man this place specifically is just beautiful
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push that thing down the stairs
#SQIRNK SKNK SQKNK SWEK SQUENK#sound of them falling#squeaky sal#ocs#fursona#pooltoy#i am. mentally doing awful so working on this next comic has been a little cathartic (( youll see later )) and also destroying me. a bit.#i want it to be a bit longer but i dunno how to fluff it up#but i dunno having psychotic episdes and feeling unsafe and being alone 24 7 hasnt been helping with all the stuff thats currently going on#i dont really have anyone to talk to so im rambiling here#you dont have to read this btw#i dotn wanna be negitive on my blog and keep stuff happy adn fun ebcause i dont wanna be saf#*sad#mm
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...
#thinking about death again bc my dad texted an update on my mum#apparently she got a blood transfusion and threw up. thrilling stuff. but it just nudges at my head#bc it just makes me think. when shes gone its going to leave a trace. the outline of a person#i dont kno why i find that so upsetting. i just think about all the half completed scrapbooks that will whither away in my sisters old room#and it makes me cry. shell leave behind her incomplete scrapbooks. half tumbled rocks. containers of sea glass and lucky stones. digital#conversation thatll never be responded to. shoes and clothes#and memories. evidence of of a life no longer there to live it#and it just makes me sad i guess. i dunno. theres something sad about a project that will never be finished#a project doomed to be forgotten because it was only ever in the care of one person#but thats how it goes. what is is. nothing to be done about it but feel that sadness#i dunno. my head is full of static and frustration for unrelated reasons#but death pokes at my head during the day and i lose my already unsteady focus in an effort not to cry#im tired and sad and wishing my medication was working better#shes not even dead yet. im pulling a roman r0y and pre grieving. except for reals#unrelated
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anime tag dont have one million untagged ai "art"s challenge (impossible)
#im so tired. are yall tired. :/#“ghibli ai for any character you want” we used to have people do those themselves...#im not even into that but like. it just seems kind of sad i guess#ever since its become more popular ive seen less and less arts in tags and more and more ai stuff#like in the long run i guess there are bigger things to worry about but like. it just feels lonely and sad#i dunno... i guess i just had to get this off my chest
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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If I could actually color and shade with real colors and not just black and white and have it not be complete dogshit it would be so over for you guys.
#I literally can not color with color it always looks bad and I get very sad#if you look at all of my art all the best stuff is the grayscale stuff and I love that stuff I really really super do#but dammit I'm so jealous of people who can actually like I dunno... understand how colors work and can make them actually look good?#no wonder I never finish anything in a timely manner#abby's self depreciation hour#<- bringing back this dinosaur#actually pretty glad we haven't used that around here in a while that's a good sign right?👍#abby attempts to draw
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for reference this is how extremely full of stuff my room is rn after moving back from college.
#the squishmallows especially just fill too much space because they’re just. large.#dunno what i’m gonna do about it next semester#i’m waiting on doll stands for my draculauras rn they’re just sad looking rn 😔#(don’t know how this many squishmallows and my roommates together fit in my room at college because i swear it looked like less in there)#honestly i also think i need to do a big clean out of old stuff too a lot of it is genuinely trash filling drawers#also i think if i have to pick a collection to dial back it has to be plushies they’re just the largest and usually cheaper#so i end ip with more of them that are harder to display#maybe i’ll stop myself for a while put myself on a no plushies ban#(probably a good idea….)
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You know, I kind of wish the magic system in Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright was legit, because I actually think it’s pretty cool
I’d love to see something actually use it to its full potential as a magic system
#I have to admit it’s been well over a year since I’ve seen playthroughs of the game#but I remember liking it a lot#what I remember is that witches have staffs with two gems#and the color of the gem determined what kind of spell they could cast#technically they could only cast two spells but you could also say that’s because the game needed it to be a limited amount#if you made this a legit magic system you could probably expand that list for each color#and maybe don’t have it only be women? I dunno#but the system itself has potential#sad that it’s not real#anyways#professor layton#ace attorney#plvspw#plvsaa#plvsaa spoilers#magic system#ideas#random stuff
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OK hear me out
If you get past the 1980s machismo cheesiness of this, it is actually an extremely well arranged and well produced song. I mean listen to all the little discrete parts coming in and going out throughout the song; every single one is crystal clear and there is always a lot going on without it being cluttered. It's just a good recording.
Also that splash hit at 0:57 and 1:50, it's just enough
#sigh#I am sad#I wish I had people in my life who cared about music with whom I could talk about this stuff#I don't know anyone who is really interested as far as I can tell#maybe I'm wrong I dunno#I could try harder
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I get rly jealous of painters (digital and otherwise but mostly digital) sometimes bc they have the skill and knowledge to be able to do style studies of famous painters, and I frequently have the urge to do some kind of leyendecker study but I patently CANNOT paint, at all, I don't even rly render I am a flat colors and cel shading kind of artist so it would just be kind of useless to attempt bc the style I make art in just isn't the kind that I can do those kinds of experiments in and it feels Bad
#sighs#its not even that im unhappy with my style or my work ive rly come to like my own art a lot#its just like. painting is this thing i cant do (ive tried. dont) and it feels like im never gonna be good enough to get any attention#ive stopped applying for fanzines altogether bc im always gonna get beat out by ppl w more complex styles and rejections r rly discouraging#i dunno. sad. and this isnt even a career for me im a pure hobbyist#but maybe that makes it more upsetting somehow#i just want to make nice things that ppl like but i draw slow and cant render and im tired all the time#its another thing in a long list where i fall in the middle and being Just Okay at stuff uhhhhh really sucks. a lot. at times#theres nothing wrong w being normal or Just Okay but just once id love to be extraordinary! at literally anything!!!!#sorry to anyone who read all of thst its way past mt bedtime and my stress over school is manifesting in weird ways#ill be fine in the morning but rn i am sad :(#and z speaks
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