#I drew all of these during school instead of doing work

[underlordmenace]

These r some of my characters I’ve made, I’ll be making their character sheets later

•^•

[foldingfittedsheets]

One of the most memorable speeches I've ever heard was given at my beloved's graduation. They attended a pretty crunchy school natural medicine. They went for acupuncture but they also had many degrees including nutrition, naturopathic medicine, and most importantly to this story: midwifery.

The common consensus across campus was that the midwives operated on their own frequency which is a nice way to say they were usually really weird, even by the standards of a pretty alternative crowd of people. Not weird in a bad way. But weird nonetheless. They straddled the boundary between life and death and it changed them.

I had never experienced a midwife before the ceremony which is why I didn't think anything of the fact that a midwife stepped up to give the graduation speech. My friends nearby had a stir of repressed amusement and elbowing each other which did puzzle me slightly.

The speech began as a story, which I heartily approved of. The midwife related an experience in which a woman told her that during her first birth she had screamed too much and used up her energy in that instead of pushing and the midwife, to the collective masses assembled to watch a solemn ceremony, said, "I told her this time she would need to scream with her vagina."

The audience was slightly stunned by this, myself included. I scanned the crowd to see dropped jaws and wide eyes. It was such a bold statement to make in an academic setting and no one quite knew what to make of it.

The midwife continued unperturbed.

She related that many dads didn't know what to do during the birthing process and that this particular dad chose to chant over and over, "You're gonna be huge, you're gonna be huge," as his wife screamed with her vagina to birth their child. The midwife mused that she didn't know if he was talking to their child or his wife or if he even registered what he was saying in that moment.

Then the subject strayed toward how the student body had strained and striven toward this goal, this endgame that was the result of sleepless nights, hard work, and camaraderie. The speech seemed to have moved onto more solid ground and traditional graduation reminiscences. The crowd settled, thinking the worst had passed.

But as the midwife wrapped up she said, "As you go forth into the world, pushed out by this noble institution to help the masses, just remember one thing," she paused and the audience held their breath while the beat drew out before she finally whispered:

"You're gonna be huge."

There was a roar of astonished laughter as her speech neatly tied their graduation into a metaphor for being birthed unto the world and we finally understood the point of her anecdote.

The speech lives in infamy in all our collective memories. Years later my beloved's dad will still be like, "Remember that bizarre graduation speech?"

And it was. It was bizarre. But I'll say this. I've attended a lot of graduations, and I don't remember any of the speeches half so well as I do that one.

[angeldreamsoffanfic]

“What’s the deal with you and Harrington?”

Robin Buckley glanced up toward the question asker, her brows slightly furrowed as she cast an inquisitive look toward Eddie Munson. He’s leant up on one of his elbows, chin cradled in the palm of his hand. His eyes are on her, large and curious, instead of the usual half-lidded expression he wears during the “adult” hangouts.

They’d all started hanging out ever since Vecna was destroyed, taking time away from the younger members of The Party to spend time all together. Herself, Eddie, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle. Sometimes, every once in a while, it led them all to feel normal. As if they hadn’t all been dealing with more Upside Down crap just a few months prior.

“What do you mean?” Robin instead asked, her eyes moving from Eddie’s to dart out toward the Harrington’s pool. Steve is sitting on the edge of it with Jonathan, the two boys heads bent together as Argyle watched on- a dopey almost lovesick expression curled on his mouth. A spliff dangled from Jonathan’s fingertips, rolled by Eddie but the weed supplied by Jonathan.

“You’re… not together.” Eddie’s voice is soft, and barely spoken above a murmur. Robin nodded slowly, and turned her head towards him to try and indicate him to continue. “Nancy and the kids all repeat platonic with a capital P, but I just… how did you and Harrington even happen?”

“Scoops A’hoy,” Robin grinned wide, barely able to stifle the laugh that’s on the backend of her words. She was able to catch the widened look that Eddie threw her way, before his eyes darted out to look towards Steve, before his eyes moved back to her own. “He and I worked there back when the mall was open.”

“And… what? You instantly became best friends?”

“No, actually.” Robin shook her head with another soft laugh, before she paused so she could rub her palms together. She allowed herself to twist one of her rings around her finger, brows pinched for a moment. “I actually thought he was like the worst, y’know?” Robin scoffed to herself, before she sent Eddie a look. She knew what she must look like, her eyes wet with tears and her gaze all permanently soft.

“You know how he was in school, King Steve and all that.” Robin continued on, and she flicked her tongue out of her mouth to wet the corner of her lips for a second. “And when my manager told me that I’d be working with a Steve, well… there was only one Steve in Hawkins I could think of.”

“So how did your opinion of him change then, Buckley?” Eddie cocked his head again, one of his hands coming up to twirl a strand of hair around his pointer finger. His brows were furrowed taut, creating a worry line in between them. “The kids told me about the Russians-”

“It was sort of before then,” Robin admitted with a small shrug, and she twisted the corner of her lip into a shy smile. “He raved to me, y’know? About uh, these kids. These five kids he’d babysit and shit, and it was so… soft?” Robin watched as Eddie mouthed out names to himself as he ticked his fingers, before he cast a look to her. “But he always talked about this one, Ellie, who he’d call his little sister.”

Eddie drew in a sharp breath, eyes wide as Robin let out a soft hum.

“Yeah, and I don’t know if you submitted yourself to Harrington family lore-” Robin gestured behind her toward the Harrington house with a flick of her hand, before she continued. “But I knew that Dick and Helen Harrington didn’t have more than one kid.”

“Supergirl?” Eddie asked softly, and Robin let out a soft confirming hum as she watched Eddie’s eyes dart toward Steve. Steve was still talking to Jonathan, though Argyle had shifted forward so he was able to join in the conversation.

“And then imagine my surprise when one day our stupid sailor ice cream shop is visited by none other than the Chief.” Robin shook her head with a small laugh, before she continued on. “And he was so excited to see Steve, Eddie. Like genuinely excited to see him, ordered a couple tubs of ice cream togo and then said he’d see him at home.”

“Fuck.” Eddie breathed out, and Robin let out another sigh of a laugh.

“And I asked Steve why the Chief of the Hawkins police force was visiting him at work, and Steve just…” Robin shrugged slowly, shaking her head to clear her thoughts before she continued. “He just gave me this look, like… like he didn’t actually know either.”

“Then later, he told me why he watched all of the kids. He told me that he would’ve given anything for someone to just… to just care about him when he was their age. That all he wanted was for just a person to give a shit about his wellbeing.” Robin shook her head again, before she carded a hand through her still chlorine sticky hair. “And after that my opinion just… it just changed about him.”

“Then the Russians?” Eddie asked softly, and Robin hummed as she dipped her chin in a curt nod.

“Then the Russians, and he didn’t… he didn’t even hesitate to take the attention onto himself when they started questioning us.” Robin shook her head again, sniffling. “And after I asked him why he would do that, and he told me it was because he knew I had a family waiting on me to come back home.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, and then afterwards when we were getting seen by the EMTs? He didn’t have anyone to call Eddie. Because Hopper? Hopper was just… just presumed dead.” Robin let out a soft bitter laugh, and she twisted a strand of her hair around her finger. “My parents decided to take us both home after, and he stayed with us for a couple of days- until his concussion was okay enough for him to sleep through the night.”

“And that’s when you became best friends?”

“That’s when I decided that, Steve? He deserved way more from people than he seemed to ever fucking get.” Robin shrugged, before she cast a soft smile toward Eddie. Eddie’s eyes were glassy, wet with tears and Robin just patted her hand soft against his forearm. “That’s when I decided that he was my best friend.”

“Platonic with a capital P?”

Robin cast a look toward Steve, where the older teen already had his eyes on her. He had a hand extended, fingers wiggling toward her in a small way to beckon her toward his side. Robin stood without responding to Eddie, and she left her towel on the lounge chair she’d commandeered as her own. She took a moment though, cast a softer look toward Eddie- even as the corner of her lip twitched into a nervous smile.

“He’s not exactly my type, y’know?” Robin kept her admission soft, even when Eddie’s eyes were quick to flood with confusion. She instead cast a look toward the sunbathing Nancy Wheeler, who had one of her arms strewn over her face across the backyard where she laid in the grass.

When Robin let her eyes move to meet Eddie’s again, he has a look of pure understanding on his face.

“I think I get what you mean.” Eddie murmured and Robin simply flashed Eddie Munson a shy smile.

Eddie Munson watched as Robin Buckley walked away from him, quick to tuck herself into Steve’s side once she reached him. Steve threw his arm around Robin’s shoulders, tucking her further into his grasp- though the flow of conversation that he was having with Argyle and Jonathan didn’t even pause.

It’s in that moment when Eddie Munson realizes something extraordinarily fucking crucial.

He’s in love with Steve fucking Harrington.

---

this is gonna become a multipart fic i think btw! it will probably be on here / ao3, haven’t fully decided yet but hope you enjoyed nonetheless!

now with a part two! click here

[guess-my-next-obsession]

the alchemy | i. the return (joel’s pov)

pairing: no outbreak!dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter rating: Mature [18+ only, minors dni, dbf/secret relationship, age gap (joel is 34, reader is 24), just joel pining in secret, mention of cheating (past relationship), one mention of joel fantasizing about a blowjob]

summary: joel takes us through his inner monologue the day of reader’s return.

wc: 1k

the masterlist

She was back.

The woman who’d starred in every depraved fantasy I’d had since the day I met her had made her return to Austin, this time to stay.

I’d been mentally preparing for our reunion for weeks now, ever since her father let the news slip. I told myself that this time I’d finally be done with my little crush on the woman nearly a decade younger than me, but I knew how this story went.

Every time she came home to visit during her breaks from school, I told myself the exact same bullshit. And every time I came face to face with her, it all went to hell again. All she had to do was walk into a room, and I was back to secretly pining over her like a lovesick boy.

This time was no different.

When her and her dad pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I was already sweating. When she stepped out in those denim cutoffs, I’d melted completely.

She was the type of beautiful that required no frills to make a man fall to his knees. She could wear a burlap sack and I’d have no choice but to believe she was nothing less than a goddess.

I tried not to let my tongue wag too much as she walked over to Sarah, hugging her tight and complimenting her on her new braids. Her dad offered me a bit of distraction as he complained about needing to change out the brake pads on his truck, but even that wasn’t enough to tear my eyes away from her. From the woman I knew he’d never approve of me being with.

I couldn’t say I’d do any different if it was my own daughter in question.

When her eyes met mine, I felt the need to justify my ogling with a greeting.

“Welcome home,” I said, instead of what I longed to say—things that would’ve earned me a punch in the gut from her dad.

She mumbled a thanks in response, but seemed entirely disinterested in any further conversation with me. So I let it end there as we walked into the mexican spot that was apparently her favorite, according to her dad. I made a mental note of this new information. For what reason, I had no clue. It wasn’t like I’d ever be taking her out.

She avoided me at all costs throughout dinner, leaving me with no choice but to coax her into paying me some attention by asking her if she was still interested in babysitting. It was a genuine enough question. Sarah did need someone to look after her over the summer, and the last babysitter just never managed to click with her the way that she had. But I’d be lying if I said that it was strictly business, my asking.

When she said yes, my heart all but leapt out of my chest with relief. If she had said no, I would’ve had no excuse to see her, no excuse to talk to her.

I watched with greedy eyes as she sipped her drink through a straw, her lips wrapping around the bit of plastic. I instinctively licked my lips as she pulled away, swiping her tongue over her lips to collect the bit of lime-flavored liquor that coated them.

God, that mouth.

I’d thought about it almost every night. Even when I was with Mia, my ex, it was her I imagined. Those plump lips wrapping around me, working me until I came. And as horrible as it was to say, I never felt guilty about the fantasy. Especially now, knowing that the entire time, Mia had been having her own fun on the side.

I couldn’t imagine that the girl in front of me would hurt anyone in that way, and that drew me towards her all the more. She was so kind, so good that it hurt. I hoped whoever she had been with in the past had treated her with the same sort of respect that I dreamed of giving her, but I knew all too well what it was like to be a twenty-something year old boy. They’d likely not even noticed the gem that they held in the palm of their hands.

At the end of dinner, she gave Sarah a thorough goodbye, promising to come over the next day for a swim. I thanked God that it was a weekend, that I’d be home to catch a glimpse of her.

When I stepped over to tell her goodnight, she blew me off completely. I tried not to let the rejection sting. I had no reason to feel slighted, to feel disappointed, but it cut through me nonetheless.

Her dad muttered an apology, saying that she was likely just tired from a long day of unpacking, and I let myself believe him. It was better than thinking that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Even if I knew it was true.

Why else would she have agreed to go out with Tommy last summer? And according to him, the date went well. He refrained from spilling all the details, but from what he let on, I could’ve only assumed it ended with her in his crumb-filled sheets. It took me weeks to get the image out of my head, to be able to look my brother in the eye again.

Maybe one of these days I’d ask her about it myself. I wouldn’t let on that I disapproved of the two of them being together, either. Instead, I’d play the role of a nosy older brother who simply just wanted to know whether his brother was treating her right, or if he was fucking things up like he so often liked to do when a good woman entered his life.

But truthfully, it didn’t matter what the two had going on. She could hate him or love him, I didn’t care.

My crush was here to stay.

Even if I had no chance in the world with her.

[thetriumphantpanda]

nobody sees, nobody knows

Alright, here we are, me adding my two cents into the dbf!Joel trope which we all love so much. I've read so many incredible fics like this so hopefully mine can stand up with them all. This will be a series, so strap in for more of our favourite neighbourhood DILF.

Pairing | dbf!Joel x female reader

Summary | Back to Texas with a degree under your belt and a school girl fantasy to fuck your dad's best friend. What could go wrong?

Warnings | I mean, dbf!Joel comes with his own warning right? Other than that, swearing, alcohol consumption, age gap (Reader is 25, Joel is 36), dirty talk, and fingering.

Word Count | 3.3K

PART 2 | MAIN MASTERLIST

There was something about summer in Texas that just hit differently. The way the heat crawled on your skin from the moment you woke up to the moment you tried to sleep at night. The way your father used it as an excuse to cook primarily on the grill, regardless of the food, and the way your mother always made sure the fridge was stocked with cold drinks. The way traffic seemed to cease to exist during the high points of the day, meaning you went to the store every day at midday to buy ice cream. The haze you got from sipping cold beer by your parents’ pool which made you want to do reckless things like you’d done in New York before you realized that the beady eyes of your parents would be all over you if you tried. Reckless things like tell Joel Miller you’d wanted to fuck him for years. 

Every time you’d come home from school, and he’d be there you could have sworn he’d just gotten more and more attractive. The last time you were home, for Christmas and New Year’s, you could have sworn he’d started at the gym, his biceps bulging in the arms of his fitted t-shirt, when your dad commented on it, he's chalked it down to particularly heavy lifting on the job he was working then. He’d had his hair cut in a way that made his face even more handsome and you’re pretty sure the last few times you’d been home he’d noticed how you’d flourished too. 

There were moments where you’d catch his eyes as they drew themselves up your legs, or the time you decided to test your theory and wear a low-cut top and your best bra to a dinner party. His eyes had trained on your chest for most of the night, there was a moment where you’d stood up and leaned over the table to pick up the salt instead of asking him to pass it. He’d choked on his drink and your dad had slapped his back to try and help him. At least you knew he was thinking like you. 

Neither of you had tried crossing the line though. Past the point of no return. You wanted him to make the first move, save yourself the embarrassment of rejection if it came, but it felt like waiting for Joel Miller to kiss you was like waiting for rain in the drought Texas was currently experiencing. Useless and disappointing. You wished sometimes that you could burrow into his brain and figure out what it was that he was really thinking about you. You suspected there would be some code of honour he was sticking to because you were his best friend’s daughter – sure it might complicate things, but you weren’t going to be back in Texas forever – what was the worst that could happen during the secret, torrid affair you’d been cooking up in your head since you arrived back from college a week ago? 

 “Did you hear me when I spoke to you?” Your mother’s voice pulled you from the daydream you were having whilst polishing the cutlery. 

“Sorry mom, I was miles away.” 

“I know!” She exclaims, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you since you came back, you’ve been away with the fairies,” She sighs, “I said, once you’ve set the cutlery out back can you help your dad with filling the fridge with the beer, please?” 

You hum in agreement which is enough to send her back to the endless chopping she seems to be doing at the kitchen counter. It was just a cookout with the Millers and few other family friends to celebrate your return, but you think your mother thinks she’s catering for a garden party at the White House with the number of sides she’s preparing. 

You make quick work of the rest of the cutlery, wanting to avoid any more questions about why you seem miles away all the time – you can’t exactly tell your mother it’s because you’re thinking about how Joel might eat your pussy.

“Need any help, old man?” You greet your dad in the garage, he’s on his knee’s pulling out bottles of Budweiser to stack in the fridge. 

“Here, grab these and start putting them in,” He’s smiling, he’s always been an overly happy and laid-back man, “I hope we’ve got enough in.” 

“How many people are you expecting?” You chuckle, taking a bottle from him to add to the growing number already stacked on the shelves. 

“Probably ten or so,” Hu shrugs, “But one of those people is Tommy Miller and he’s not changed a bit since you’ve been away.” 

“Between your drinks and mom’s sides we could host the entire neighborhood.” You joke. 

You continue to fill the fridge up with drinks until there’s no room left. Your dad stores the leftover crates next to it for refilling throughout the evening, “Now, go and make yourself look nice, everyone’ll be here soon.” 

*

You’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t picked your shortest and lowest cut dress for the evening. It was a pale blue colour, with pink flowers dotted about the material. It fell to your mid-thigh and you had to keep reminded yourself to kneel down instead of bending over, in case people who you didn’t want to look caught an eyeful of the scant lace covering your ass. 

There are a few people milling around already, cold beers in hand, mainly some of your dad’s older friends, who have all congratulated you on graduating and then moved on to talk about mundane neighborhood gossip. 

“Now, where is that smartass?” You hear from the sliding doors; it’s Tommy and he’s bounding over to you to give you a hug. 

He scoops you up into a bone breaking hug, “Congratulation’s girl, your dad said you graduated top of the class!” 

He’s set you down and you can see Joel standing awkwardly next to him, “He’s exaggerating, I wasn’t top, although pretty close to it,” You turn to Joel, “Hey there.” He bends down to give you a one-armed hug and a peck on the cheek. 

“Good to see you back, sweetheart.” 

“Good to see you too, Joel,” You chirp in response, “Where’s Sarah?” 

“She’s at camp for the first part of the summer,” He explains, “Back in a couple’a weeks, she’ll be thrilled to see you again.” 

“Boys!” Your dad’s booming voice interrupts your conversation, “Good to see you both!” He turns to you, “Why don’t you go and get these two some beers, I need to speak to them about fixin’ up the attic.” 

You turn quietly and head for the garage. Of course, you’d become waitress at your own welcome home party. It takes no time at all for you to come back with three beers, two for the Miller brothers and one for yourself. You hand them off wordlessly, but you don’t miss how Joel grips the bottle just above your fingers, brushing against them. Of all the places for him to grab the bottle, that couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? 

The rest of the evening goes by as expected. You spend most of it running around helping your mom set the food out, fetching more beers for everyone and trying to field questions from everyone about what you’re going to do in Texas with an MA in Archival Studies. You bite your tongue every time, and reply with something like, “I think I’ll probably work in an archive.” 

The night is winding down, your mom already in bed having finished her wine too quickly, your dad sat outside in the quickly fading sunlight with Joel and Tommy and a few other stragglers. It fell to you to make aa start on the dishes, which is what you were currently doing. Rinsing them off over the sink before stacking them in the dishwasher, pausing long enough each time to take a sip of lukewarm beer. 

“They got you tidyin’ up your own party?” You hear from behind you. It’s Joel. 

“I’m the only one sober enough not to break anything.” You shrug without turning around to face him. 

“Seems a little unfair if you ask me, sweetheart.” 

“Well, why don’t you make yourself useful and help?” You counter, “Then I can be sat outside drinkin’ beer with you all.” 

You hear his boots on the floor and then he’s next to you, reaching around to grab the pile of cutlery on the side, he opens the dishwasher further to put the cutlery in their designated tray and then stop, “Has no-one ever taught you how to stack a dishwasher?” 

You pause in your rinsing to look up at him for the first time, “What do you mean?” 

“This is awful sweetheart,” He chuckles, “You’ve got the bowls and plates in the wrong place – you’ll be doing three washes if you carry on like this.” 

“Well, go on then, maestro, show me how to stack it.” 

He’s unloading everything you’ve put in so far, apart from what you suspect he thinks was his expertly placed cutlery, and you’re watching as he’s stacking in completely differently to you. Annoyingly he’s not wrong, the way he’s doing it means you’ll likely fit everything in at once, “Can’t believe you’ve lived on your own for five years and didn’t learn how to stack a dishwasher.” 

“Joel, I was in a dingy studio apartment in the ass end of New York, you think I had a dishwasher?” 

“Well, consider yourself taught now, I don’t ever wanna see a dishwasher looking anything less than perfect, you hear me?” 

“Loud and clear, Mr Miller.” You watch as his eyebrows raise at your new greeting, oh. He liked that. 

He picks up your almost empty beer bottle and hands it to you, “Go on, down the rest,” He’s grinning, “Then go and sit down and I’ll get you a fresh one.” 

You decide to push it a little further, “Yes, sir.” You watch as he swallows deeply at your words before you’re brushing past him, far too close than necessary to go and sit down. 

It’s another hour of sitting around in the garden before everyone else is gone – Tommy is finishing off his beer and telling Joel he’ll be heading to his to crash. 

“I’m going to call it a night too,” Your dad says, “Stay and finish your drink though Joel, there’s no rush, I’m sure this one can keep you company with her stories from New York.” 

And then you’re alone with him, finally. He’s taking a long drink from his beer bottle, which you mirror, realizing suddenly that you didn’t eat much, and you’ve drunk far more than you probably should. You’re not drunk, but there’s a pleasant buzz through your body that’s making your eyelids a little heavy. 

When the light goes off in your parents’ room, you figure it’s safe, “I’ve seen you staring at me, you know.” 

He doesn’t miss a beat, “You make it hard not to, sweetheart.” 

“Do you want me, Joel?” You don’t know where you’ve come from all of a sudden, but this confident girl isn’t someone you recognize. 

“It ain’t a question of wantin’ you sweetheart, it’s a question of doin’ the right thing.” You watch as he rubs his hand over his forehead in frustration. 

“But you do,” You push him, “Want me?” 

“Course I do,” He’s swallowing thickly again, just like he did in the kitchen, “But I can’t have you.” 

“Says who?” You pry. 

“Says the fact that I’m one’a your dad’s best friends, not to mention far too old for you.” He’s looking at you and taking another big drink from his bottle, like if he finishes, he can leave you alone. 

“No-one has to know,” You shrug, “Could be our little secret?” 

“You been readin’ too many of them romance novels,” He snorts, “It don’t work like that, if they find out they’ll fucking kill me.” He’s tilting his head to the window of your parents’ room.

You stand from your seat opposite him, walking around the table to stop just in front of Joel, “Come on Joel, have a little fun for once.” 

There’s a moment where you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, trying to weigh up being shot for touching his best friend’s little girl and finally satisfying the craving he’d wanted for a while now. Then, he’s putting his bottle down on the floor next to the chair he’s sat in. You watch closely as he shifts his position to sit more towards the edge of the chair, before one of his hands reaches out to grip the back of your thigh, just above the crease of your knee.

“You’ll be the death of me,” He mumbles before he looks up at you, “C’mere.” 

He’s pulling gently on your leg as he shifts back in the seat, guiding you so your hips are straddling his. You try not to press yourself too fully into him just yet, letting your clothed heat rest above his lap. One of his arms comes to wrap around the back of your waist, the other tangling in your hair at the back of your head whilst he looks at you with eyes that say he wants to devour you. 

“You gonna kiss me, Mr Miller?” You ask, innocently. 

“Oh darlin’, I’m gonna do so much more than that.” 

His head is tilting to the side and looking up at you from your higher ground, perched on his lap. Then his lips are on yours and God all those years of longing were worth it. They’re pressed tentatively against your own, but you can feel they’re slightly chapped. His hand resting in your hair grips a little tighter and he’s moving your head slightly so that when he opens his mouth against yours it’s the easiest thing for you to open yours right back and let his tongue into your mouth. 

You let out a gasp, swallowed into his own mouth when his hands drop back to your thighs before they’re trailing up the small skirt of your dress to cup the cheeks of your ass, “You wear this for me?” He pulls away, speaking before he’s trailing his lips along your jawline, “Thought you’d get me worked up in this tiny little thing, naughty girl?” 

“It worked, didn’t it?” 

He huffs a breath out of his nose as if to say, of course it did. He’s trailing his hot mouth down your neck now, dragging his teeth along your skin before licking with his tongue to soothe any red marks he might leave. Your head is thrown back as his hands drag you down so you’re sitting flush against him. You can’t help but notice the bulge in his jeans when your clothed pussy makes contact with him. 

You’re whining as his hands are on your hips under your dress, the hot skin of his hands setting fire to you, “What do you want, pretty girl?” He asks, his tongue trailing down to the valley between your tits. 

“Fingers,” You rasp, “Make me come with your fingers Joel.” 

He lets out a low chuckle against your skin, “Needy little thing, already beggin’ me to finger fuck her.” 

But he’s already obliging your request, one of his hands is moving down from your hip to the front of your panties, running his thumb over the material from top to bottom, “God, I can feel how wet you are already,” You look down and he’s grinning, “I’m gonna take these off, sweetheart, but you gotta promise to keep quiet okay?” 

You nod in agreement before you’re lifting your hips up, just enough for Joel to hook his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and pull them down enough so his hands can touch you. He mimics the same movement he’d done over the material, this time his fingers touching the bare skin of you seam and he’s groaning when he feels the slick gathered near your tight hole. 

“God, you really are wet, aren’t ya?” He chuckles, a flush creeping over your cheeks, “Ain’t nothing to be embarrassed about sweetheart,” He reassures, “Means I’m doin’ somethin’ right.” 

You feel one of his thick fingers slip inside you, just a little, before he’s dragging the slick he’s gathered up to run light touches over your clit. You bite down on your lip to keep you from crying out into the dark, hips bucking into his hand to try and get more friction from his fingers. He takes the hint and is pressing his finger more firmly into your bundle of nerves and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to keep quiet. 

When Joel’s hand drops from your clit you almost cry from frustration, put then he’s sinking two of his fingers straight into your soaking pussy and the relief is palpable. He’s moving them in and out of you, curling them in just the right way that has your hips moving in time with him, literally fucking yourself on his fingers. You let your head fall into the crook of his neck, placing kisses to his skin as you ride his fingers. 

“This what you wanted, pretty girl?” He asks, his free hand coming to cup the back of your head against his neck, at least this way you could make some noise – testing out your theory you let out a throaty moan, listening carefully as his skin muffles most of the sound. 

“I need… god Joel, my clit, please.” 

With his fingers still buried inside you, working you to the edge, his thumb moves to your clit, resuming the circles his finger had been drawing over it before, “I can feel your pussy gettin’ tight around my fingers,” He’s turned his head so it’s buried in the hair at the side of your head, “You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” 

You push back from him a little, looking down between your bodies where you can see his hand working you and that’s really all it takes. Your legs are shaking and you’re biting down on your lip hard enough that you can taste blood as pleasure bursts through you – not even you had made yourself come like this. Ever. Joel’s fingers have stilled inside you, but he’s still tracing your clit with gentle movements of his thumb, reveling in the way you jerk through the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

“Did so well for me, pretty girl.” He coos at you once he’s pulled his hand from your pussy. 

You’ve collapsed onto his chest to catch your breath, but you’re already subconsciously grinding your hips into his, God you want more. You’re about to reach for his belt when you can feel something vibrating in the pocket of his jeans. 

He’s mumbling an apology, lifting you just enough to fish his phone from his pocket. He answers without looking at who is calling. You can hear Tommy’s voice through the phone from your place, draped over Joel’s lap. 

“You just turn it to the side, jackass,” Joel is mumbling in answer to Tommy’s question on how to work his shower, “You’ve used it a million times,” Tommy say’s something you can quite make out, “No, not that one, the one underneath it,” Joel is sighing, “You were not this drunk when you left, if I find you’ve finished the good whiskey I’m gonna kill you,” Another sigh to a question you couldn’t quite hear, “Fine, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Disappointment is pooling in your stomach. You don’t want him to go, not when there’s so much unfinished business here, “I gotta go, sweetheart.” He’s mumbling, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. 

“But what about this?” You ask, reaching between you to cup his cock through his jeans, “Let me help you.” 

His hand is gripping your wrist, “I would love nothin’ more, but I gotta go before Tommy floods my house,” Another kiss to your lips, “Next time.” 

“You want to do this again?” You ask, almost surprised. 

He takes the hand that had been buried in your pussy not minutes before, lifting the fingers he’d fucked you with to his mouth before sucking them right in front of your face, “Now I’ve gotta taste for you, sweetheart?” He raises an eyebrow, “Of course I wanna do this again.” 

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ hanamaki as a best friend

⟡ cw: fluff, friends to lovers, matsukawa and makki fake dating, lmk if i missed anything

⟡ a/n: back from the dead ig i hate school. also im only doing the main four 3rd years for now bc yeah. i'll do any characters that i missed later on.

⟡ best friend series: matsukawa, iwaizumi, oikawa, || masterlist

best friend hanamaki who you met in your first year of high school when he was sat in your seat when his seat was actually the one next to your desk.

best friend hanamaki who you got closer to when he was constantly asking for your notes. you didn't really mind though because he would get you sweets in return.

best friend hanamaki who introduced you to the rest of the aoba four one day after you kept asking him who his "boyfriend" was. apparently it was all four of them.

best friend hanamaki who got bonked on the head by you, oikawa, and iwaizumi. matsukawa actually acted all lovey dovey with him. jokingly of course.

best friend hanamaki who in your second year said that he was finally going to take his own notes. he did so for a week before he returned to asking you for them.

best friend hanamaki who would skip practice sometimes to go grab ice cream with you. this earned him a lecture from the coaches and even oikawa who just acted dramatic and told him that he was grounded.

best friend hanamaki who you and matsukawa would poke fun of after he got his haircut. during a sleepover one time matsukawa drew a pp on his forehead.

best friend hanamaki who chased you both down when he woke up the next morning.

best friend hanamaki who invited you to his volleyball games so he can brag to everyone else that he had someone watching him.

best friend hanamaki who invited you out to dinner after games they lost because oikawa always ended up paying for everyone's meals (against his will).

best friend hanamaki who didn't want to go to college so just moved in to an apartment with you and matsukawa since you both were going to the same school.

best friend hanamaki who got bored of being home alone during the weekdays so he got a job. multiple actually. mans hated working.

best friend hanamaki who would ocassionally take naps in your and mattsun's rooms while you were at classes.

best friend hanamaki who realized his feelings for you when he realized how much he adored the scent of your room and of you in general whenever he was near you. not in a creepy way though, he just found it comforting.

best friend hanamaki who told mattsun about his feelings one weekend while you were away visiting your family.

best friend hanamaki who internally died when the first thing mattsun said to you when you came back was "makki's in love with you"

best friend hanamaki who took a while to process what just happened before finally telling you that it wasn't a joke after you thought it was for aminute.

best friend hanamaki who dramatically hugged mattsun instead of you when you said you had feelings for him too. this was because he probably wouldn't have told you himself.

best friend hanamaki who properly asks to be your boyfriend after mattsun goes for a walk to give you guys some space.

best friend hanamaki who is now boyfriend hanamaki who staged a 'breakup' with matsukawa when he came back because his heart now belonged to another.

[sachirobabe]

Hiii i’ve seen all your works and wonder if you can do Kuroo n Sachiro hcs with y/n pranking him that “every girls need to shed their skin once a month” while using the peeling mask and ask if they want to peel “the old skin” for them?

You can search that trend on tik tok OMG it’s god damn hilarious 😂, old trend but still makes me laugh so hard whenever coming across the vid.

Thank you so much for reading my reqs n please just enjoy and take your time!!

these are hilarious omg i love watching these when they come up on my fyp, i hope i did an okay job, ty for requesting babes😊🫶🏽

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ ᡣ𐭩 •｡

Kuroo Tetsurou

You had been seeing this trend all over TikTok, now, your boyfriend was chronically online, but you’re hopeful he hadn’t seen it yet and would give you a funny reaction.

As you applied the thick layer of a peel-off mask, you impatiently wait for it to dry, checking your bedroom door to make sure he wasn’t coming in and catching you in the act.

Once it was finally dry, you went off to find him in the apartment. He was laying on the couch, his long legs dangling off the end, his hand lazily held up his phone and he scrolled through Instagram.

“Hey, Tetsu.” You do your best to smile, already feeling the mask peeling by your mouth. He returns your smile, turning off his phone and sitting up, bringing his arms out for you to cuddle with him. “Do you want to help me with something?”

“Sure, what’s up, babe?” He asks and slightly frowns when he sees you take a seat next to him instead of in his lap. He notices a shiny layer of…something on your face.

You took a deep breath, pretending to be nervous. His radar immediately went off and now he was worried something had happened. “You know how every girl needs to shed their skin once a month, right?”

His expression shifted from concerned to confusion, “Wait, what? What do you mean shed your skin?”

“Yeah,” You insisted, trying to keep a straight face, “like when a girl is near her period, she needs to shed.”

“Do you…mean the lining of the uterus?” He asks even more confused, because that’s the only shedding he knows…and he can’t really help much when it comes to that.

You shake your head and maintain composure, “No, I mean on my face. I need help peeling off my old skin, do you think you can help?”

He blinks, clearly baffled, “This wasn’t taught during school.”

“It’s kind of a secret with girls, you remember how they separated the girls and boys? Well, this is why.” You say.

“Okay…” he says skeptically, “I’ll help you, babe.”

You grew excited internally, “Here, start from the edge.” You guide his hand to your face, where it was already lifting. He looks at you cautiously, not wanting to hurt you. “It won’t hurt, don’t worry.” You chuckle.

He nods and decides to give it a shot, he hesitates for a moment, but then carefully takes the edge of the “skin” and began peeling it off. His expression is shocked, revealing the smooth skin underneath, “This isn’t real?!”

“Yes it is! I was just nervous to tell you, so I never asked you to help me.” You say, trying to prolong his reaction.

“This is so weird! Why does it come off like this?” He says baffled.

You laugh, not able to hold it in longer and he’s even more confused now. “Tetsu,” you laugh, holding your stomach, “It’s a face mask, babe.”

He froze, but then bursts out laughing, “I thought I had a lizard girlfriend for a second there.”

You grinned and hugged him, “Aww, did I get you?”

He wraps his arms around you securely and continues to chuckles, “I’ll get you back, babe. I won’t forget it.”

Hirugami Sachiro

Your boyfriend sat at the kitchen table, doing some homework. You had gotten the idea from a particularly funny TikTok and decided it’d be perfect to try on him.

You quickly apply the face mask and wait until it’s dry to go interrupt his productive work. “Hi, Sachiro.” You called softly.

You drew his attention from his books and laptop, “Hi, sweetheart.” He smiles, grateful for the well needed break. “Everything alright?” He opens his arms and you sit softly in his lap, his arms wrapped securely around you.

Your expression grew serious, catching him off guard, “You’re aware that every month girls need to shed their skin, right?”

He furrows his brows, not understanding, “What? I’ve never heard of that.”

“Yeah, every girl does it, but it’s supposed to be a secret.” You held in your laughter at his cute expression. “Do you think you could help me?”

“Help you…peel your skin?” He asks to confirm what you’re asking him to do.

You nod, he thinks you’re oddly calm about this, “It’s my time of the month, and I want my dear boyfriend to help me.” You smile at him, feeling the mask peel a little.

He notices the ring around your mouth, he’s even more confused than he is in organic chemistry currently. “Your dear boyfriend is confused.” He chuckles. You try your best to explain it to him again, and still, he looks at you as if you’re crazy. “Are you feeling well, sweetheart?” He asks

You softly laugh, “I feel fine. Here, let me guide you.” You offer and he nods, giving you permission to continue.

He can feel something ready to be peeled, “Is this normal? I think you’re lying.” He says skeptically.

“I’m serious! Please help.” You pout.

He can’t say no to that face, “Okay, okay.” He says and begins peeling the “skin”, his jaw drops open as he sees that it is indeed peeling off.

“Oh, this one’s a good one. Last month’s was very patchy.” You comment and he looks baffled that this is happening.

“I don’t even…is this supposed to—what is going on?” He stumbles over his words and continues peeling.

You could barely contain your laughter, his face contorts even more at your laugh, wondering what was so funny. “Honey,” you laugh uncontrollably, “it’s just a face mask.”

“I didn’t believe it for a second!” He tries to save himself, “I knew you were lying.”

“Oh sure.” You continue laughing.

“It’s true!” He pouts at you.

You hugged him tightly, “I saw it on TikTok.”

“I will be getting you back.” He points a finger at you in attempts to make you intimidated—it doesn’t work.

[precioustarkey]

journalism at its finest

summary: you have made a career for yourself by interviewing celebrities, but are feeling a little uncomfortable when one hits close to home.

warnings: none

i nervously climbed into my car. the engine only makes my nerves rattle more. growing up, i was infatuated with actors and musicians. i found myself watching movies for the actors instead of the plot. listening to songs for the singers instead of the message. i can't explain my relationship with the media. i guess being online a lot as a teenager is to blame.

regardless, i knew from an early age that i wanted to work in the industry. not as an entertainer, but in the background. i wanted to observe the lifestyle up close. going to college for journalism was the best decision i have made for myself because now i get to live out my fantasy. 

i get paid to interview these people. and though i find a lot of them uptight and spoiled, the nosy side of me loves picking them apart. because of my job, i try my best to stay neutral on these celebrities so that they don't feel uncomfortable. apart from the research i do in order to come up with my questions, of course.

today is different. there is a show called "outer banks" that came around during quarantine, so with my free time, i binge-watched the entire first season. as i mentioned, normally i watch tv shows and movies for the actors, but i hadn't seen anyone in this show. 

however, when i delved deeper into google, i found the name of one of the actors to be familiar. drew starkey. i quickly found out that he grew up in north carolina, as did i. confused, i pulled myself from my cocoon on my couch to find my old high school yearbooks. grabbing one at random, i see him grinning in his senior photo. how could i forget? 

ever since i discovered this, i avoided the show like the plague. even though i had been surrounded by celebrities for years now, i had never known one of them personally. it almost ruined the glamorous aura surrounding them. imagining him as a regular teenage boy in the classes we shared was humbling. he wasn't mean in high school, not at all. if anything, i remember finding it odd that he hung around the theater kids because he was a total jock.

because of quarantine, i knew that press would be difficult for the actors, and because of this, i never anticipated having to interview them. which helped ease my nerves. moving to los angeles meant that i would interview every celebrity on the new up-and-coming shows. part of me hoped the hype surrounding the show would die down before the lockdown did.

the entire ride to the studio, i told myself over and over again that there was no way he would remember me. he was a jock, and i barely spoke. it wasn't the fact that i was shy, high school just wasn't for me. i counted down the days to graduation. i was only there because i had to be. i put more focus on my studies than my social life. 

in the back of my mind, i can't help but fear that seeing him will bring back memories of being the closed-off kid i was back then. as long as no one mentions it, everything will be okay. i repeated that to myself a few times before parking my car in the lot. removing my seatbelt as slowly as possible to buy time.

my hands are shaking as i walk to my studio. i send passing smiles to my coworkers as i make my way to the bathroom. i confirm that my hair, face, and outfit look presentable, and read over my questions one last time. 

the cameraman walks up to me as i take my seat to wait for the cast to arrive. "i just got a call; austin and drew are going to be the only ones you're interviewing today. madelyn, rudy, and  madison will be interviewed tomorrow," he says, looking for any sort of confirmation. "that sounds perfect," i say, smiling, still looking at my cards. 

i hear footsteps coming from the hallway and quickly stand up. austin and drew emerged into the room with their crew. "hello! so nice to meet you, my name is y/n," i say with a grin as i hold out my hand to them. they do the same, introducing themselves as they take turns shaking my hand. 

all three seats are now filled, so we can begin the questions. the first fifteen minutes go perfectly; we're laughing, they're thoroughly interested in the questions, and they're giving great answers. turning my attention to drew, i ask, "has this sudden change in lifestyle been difficult for you at all? to go from putting your all into basketball, to then deciding on theater in college?" 

he looks taken aback by my question. that nervous feeling in my stomach is slowly creeping back. i made sure that his sports background was easy to find online, so i was confident he wouldn't be too surprised. "wait a second. y/n? y/n y/l/n?" i can feel my cheeks flush at his realization. 

"can i be honest? i was hoping you wouldn't notice," i said, covering my face with my note cards. we are now sharing smiles. "oh my god. i sat behind you in algebra, you're the only reason i passed that class," he says in between laughs. seeing him in person has brought all of those little memories flooding back. 

after a minute or so of catching up, their team urges us on. "we've got other interviews, guys," the man says impatiently. we carry on for an additional fifteen minutes or so before i have run out of questions to ask. we said our farewells, and i thanked them for coming.

just as they were leaving, drew turned around, brushing past the guys they had walked in with. "y/n can i get your number? i would love to catch up properly whenever we both have time," he says, pulling out his phone. "yes, of course!" i smile, quickly typing in the numbers before they are once again rushed away. 

it felt like no time before my phone started dinging.

part two is here!

[redgoldsparks]

October Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Pageboy by Elliot Page

This has been on my to-read list ever since it came out, and I finally picked it up. This book is an honest, sometimes painfully honest, accounting of Elliot Page's life up until his decision to come out as trans. He grew up in Canada, the child of divorced parents, with a hostile step-mother, an emotionally manipulative father, and overworked mother who initially did not accept his queerness. He started acting in elementary school and found it a freeing creative outlet, even when he hated the overly-girly clothing the roles often forced him into. Like many people who start in the film industry very young, he was taken advantage of sexually by adults who should have kept him safe. These experiences are written about less graphically than the blistering gender dysphoria and numbing disassociation that followed Elliot from his teens into his twenties. He threw himself into movie projects and love affairs, running away from a secret that nearly ate him alive. I'm so grateful that was eventually able to come out, because it really sounds like staying in the closet might have killed him. This book is not written chronologically; chapters center on themes, projects, or relationships. I understand that choice while also wishing that more of then teen chapters had been placed earlier in the book- sometimes the way the book kept slipping backwards in time felt a time bit repetitive. But it also felt honest to the experience of someone who kept backsliding in his ability to be honest with himself, until hitting the rock bottom of mental health, when there was no other choice but to be true.

Woe: A Housecat's Story of Despair by Lucy Knisley

Given the square format, I thought this was going to be a picture book but when it arrived from the library it was a full color 200 page collection of all the instagram comics author Lucy Knisley ever drew about her much loved fluffy orange cat, Linney. These comics are deeply relatable for any cat owner. I'd read pretty much all of them online before but I enjoyed seeing them all again in this collection.

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold read by Lloyd James

Cazaril was once the son of a noble family, entrusted with defending a strategically important castle during one of Chalion's many wars. Then the castle was sold to the enemy, and Caz was not ransomed, but instead forced to serve as a galley slave on an enemy ship. Finally free, he walked across two countries to reach a town where he worked in his youth, and enters the stronghold wearing clothes he took off a corpse. All he wants is a lowly position, maybe in the kitchen or the stables, where he can earn a bit of bread and sleep warm at night. Instead, he is given the position of tutor to the Royesse Iselle, half-sister of the current king of Chalion. He begins the work of teaching her multiple languages, history, geography, politics, and how to tell when a man is lying to her. All of these skills and more are needed when she and her brother, the heir to Chalion's thrown, are called to court. Cazaril is required to travel with them, even though he knows that the man who betrayed him serves there as the king's high chancellor. And worse yet, he discovers that the whole royal family is under a generations-long curse. This was my second read of this book, the first one being back in 2008 so I remembered almost nothing. It's a clever and well constructed fantasy, with the twists and turns I expect and love from a Lois McMaster Bujold novel. This time around, the age gap romance (between a 20 year old and a 35 year old) made me raise my eyebrows. It fits thematically into the story but also, why.

The Ribbon Skirt by Cameron Mukwa

This is a gentle queer comic for younger readers. Ten year old Anang decides they want to make a ribbon skirt to wear to an upcoming powwow. A ribbon skirt is a piece of celebratory clothing typically worn by Anishinaabe women, and Anang isn't entirely sure what their friends or community will think about them wearing one. But the spirit world encourages Anang. The lakes, the crows, turtles, waves, and trees participate in helping Anang gather all of the supplies they need, despite some light resistance from other characters in the story. Short and sweet, this is lovely introduction to two-spirit and nonbinary identities for a kid who hasn't heard of them yet, and an affirming story for a young person who already inhabits a gender-nonconforming space!

Tokyo These Days vol 2 by Taiyo Matsumoto

Shiozawa continues to attempt to build a collection of artists for a new manga magazine. He visits old friends, writers whose talent he's loved for years. Some of them have retired from the business. Some are busier than ever. Some love the direction their work has gone since Shiozawa last saw them; others believe their work has become soulless and commercial. I love how the authors are portrayed as unique, flawed humans with human histories. They have families, disabilities, insecurities, dreams. We meet Chosaku's ex-wife and daughter on a weekend visit. Hayashi continues to struggle with her main artist, Aoki, who struggles with insomnia and flees back to his hometown. Creating manga is depicted as half a calling, half an affliction.

Death At Morning House by Maureen Johnson, read by Katherine Littrell 

This is more of a 3.5 or 3.75 but rounded up because it was queer and out of my extreme affection for Maureen Johnson's murder mysteries. This one introduces a new character, Marlowe, who gets into a spot of trouble with some accidental arson while on a date with the girl of her dreams, and then runs away to an absurd summer job on one of the thousand islands on the St Lawrence River. Marlowe joins a group of five other teens who already all know each other to serve as a tour guide for Morning House, the mansion of a rich doctor and eugenicist who summered with his seven children on the island in the 1920s- that is, until two of them died there. And the island has seen another death, more recently. Marlowe didn't show up to solve crimes, but if she wants to make it home at the end of the summer, she'll have to. Similar in tone to the Truly Devious series, this book was a very easy and fun listen. I wish the eugenics thread had either been cut, or better developed, but Marlowe is a delightful character to follow and if this book gets a sequel I will definitely listen to it.

If You’ll Have Me by Eunnie 

This is an extremely sweet and delightfully illustrated sapphic romance, which only partly hinges on a misunderstanding as the main conflict. Momo is a shy college freshman, a rule follower, a hard worker who didn't date or party at all in high school. She runs into PG, seemingly mid-hookup with a friend of a friend who claimed to be too sick to come to class. After that first encounter, Momo seems to see PG everywhere, and each time with a different girl. Clearly, PG is a player and also in a completely different league than Momo. Except, when a cautious new friendship begins to develop between them, PG seems unfailing chivalrous and polite. Which is the real PG? And how much trouble will Momo get into if she lets her feelings become something more? I really enjoyed the bright color palette and confident line art.

Tokyo These Days vol 3 by Taiyo Matsumoto

I appreciated so deeply how this series represented artists wrestling with their creative practices. Some draw steadily for years, with a similar quality level of work. Others struggle with writers block, family tragedies, self esteem, rough deadlines, with falling out of love with their stories, or their editors, or the time commitment of being a full time author. This series also shows how a patient and support editor can absolutely made an artists career- or how the lack of one can destroy it. This is such a human slice-of-life story, and I liked its open but hopeful ending.

Gay the Pray Away written and read by Natalie Naudus 

Seventeen year old Valerie wishes she could pick up any book at the library without fear, wishes she could pick her own clothes, wishes she was allowed to hang out unsupervised with friends, watch movies, or just spend time on the internet. But her family is part of a very extreme Christian community which home schools their children, limits the media they are allowed to access, controls their movement, wardrobes, and social lives. Valerie is expected to join family Bible studies daily, volunteer at the Church, and marry a boy in the community shortly after her eighteenth birthday. She isn't excited about any of this- in fact, she spends much of her time daydreaming or bored nearly to tears- but what else can she do? Then she finds a queer book with a fairly nondescript cover at the library. And a new girl- a girl with short hair, a girl who wears jeans- joins the Church. Valerie is captivated. The new girl represents a window into freedom and Valerie wants as much of that freedom as she can hold. I have some critiques about how this book ended, but I'm also very aware that I am not part of its target audience. Hopefully this book will find its way into the hands of teens who need it.

Gender Studies by Ajuan Mance

A slim but insightful collection of memoir comics on the intersecting identities of being Black, queer, gender nonconforming, and a nerd. These stories are thought provoking, funny, and delightful well drawn.

Clever Girl: Jurassic Park by Hannah McGregor

McGregor turns the film Jurassic Park over in their hands, like a piece of amber, to examine it from all sides and finds a story packed with possibilities of liberatory, queer, and feminist readings. From thoughts on the monstrous feminine, reproductive control, missing mothers, and found family, this text weaves together a rich tapestry of threads. I completely understand now why this film (which I half-watched once at a distracting party, but now want to revisit) has becomes such an enduring classic. The ending note advocates for the building of networks of mutual aid and care during and after apocalypse, something I need more and more desperately in this damaged world.

House of Women by Sophie Goldstein 

Four women arrive on a jungle planet via spaceship with a mission to create a school and educate/ tame the indigenous species of beings there. Like most colonizers, they think they are doing something good by bringing the light of civilization into the supposed darkness of the wilderness. Like most colonizers, they completely fail to understand the people they have come in contact with the project ends in devastating violence. The art in this book is extremely elegant, with powerful black and white design and pattern work illustrating a believable alien world. If you've ever read The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell, this is story has some similarities in tone and theme but much shorter and more condensed, as necessitated by the comics format. It's not a hopeful or kind story, but I thought it was executed extremely well.

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. read by Ashraf Shirazi 

Lamya H weaves together memoir with stories from the Quran, introspection on prophets, myths, histories, and alternate readings, into a compelling whole. As a gender-nonconforming baby queer, Lamya struggled under the oppressive roles and limited options available to them in the Arab speaking country to which their parents moved for work in their childhood. But a lightning strike of realization in a Quran study class- that Maryam could also be read as a depressed lesbian- fed Lamya's imagination with new possibility. Lamya moved to the United States for college and grad school, navigating new friendships with other liberal Muslims and new prejudices against brown bodies, especially bodies wearing hijab. One compelling chapter outlines the nightmare of bureaucratic hoops that need to be jumped through to renew student and work visas; the author compares choosing to stay in the US to staying in an abusive relationship. But Lamya fell for New York City, and for the family, chosen, queer, and blood, that they collected over the years. I really appreciated this book for offering a perspective I'd never read before, and for its fierce insistence that one can absolutely be both Muslim and queer.

Vivian’s Ghost by Hal Schrieve

Holy shit, this comic. I fell head-first into this 350 page scratchy black and white comic and read it all in one wild evening. The story follows a set of very messy trans people, several literally haunted by a violent ghost from their pasts. Collin, Vivian, and Andrew orbited each other as awkward, horny trans teenagers, trying to define the edges of their own identities through sex, alcohol, long tumblr posts, and Rocky Horror shows, mostly without supportive parents. Vivian died at 17. At 26, Collin in a cam boy and weed delivery guy in NYC during the early days of the pandemic; Andrew has de-transitioned, married a man, is trying to get pregnant and has sold quotes to an anti-trans journalist writing opinion pieces about the dangers of minors transitioning. Multiple times while reading this I found myself thinking "a cis person could never have written this;" its so deeply steeped in trans longings, fears, desires, neuroses, rage, yearnings, and hope. It's not an easy or safe story; it doesn't have a fully happy ending. But I consumed it and it consumed me in return. If you are struggling to find this book available in print, it is possible to read the whole story on the author's instagram page.

Breathe: Journeys to Healthy Binding by Maia Kobabe and Sarah Peitzmeier read by Sarah Peitzmeier, Kieran Todd, Blair Baker, Alejandro Antonio Ruiz, Livvie Lin and Kiebpoli Calnek

I finally sat down to listen to the audiobook, which was narrated primarily by my co-author Sarah Peitzmeier along with her research partner Kieran Todd, and the wonderful cast of Blair Baker, Alejandro Antonio Ruiz, Livvie Lin and Kiebpoli Calnek. It was such a pleasure to hear these characters' voices come to life, and see how the workbook and stretching exercise pages were handled! Obviously I am very proud of the print edition which contains my illustrations; but I am so happy that the audiobook exists as well, for anyone who prefers audio (or likes to take in audio and print side by side).

Kochab by Sarah Webb

One day when out skiing, Sonya's scarf is stolen by a flying snow spirit. She chases it deep into the forest and breaks a ski after a reckless jump. Lost without supplies in the dead of winter, Sonya follows the faint trail of light and finds an impossible palace inhabited by one sleeping fire spirit, Kyra. Kyra's home was once bright, full of life and community. Now it is derelict and crumbling, under attack by the forces of ice. This is a slim story, fairy tale-like. I wanted a little more from the plot, given the book's length; but the pages are stunning. Everything from the character movement, background designs, color choices, to dynamic panel layouts impressed me. I know I'll be looking through this book again in the future when I need some visual inspiration.

Buckle Up by Lawrence Lindell

Lonnie's parents are recently divorced, and he's still getting used to splitting time between two different houses- one with his mom and older sister, one with his dad. He's still getting used to being picked up by alternating parents from school, and he's trying to hide these facts from his friends. This short, tender story uses the framing device of these car rides to show Lonnie facing some weighty conversations with his parents. The majority of the book takes place in the car and I really loved seeing how Lonnie learned to speak up for himself, to work through problems, and verbalize his emotions. Highly recommend for elementary school readers, especially ones experiencing big feelings.

How It All Ends by Emma Hunsinger 

Tara was "accelerated" from seventh grade straight into high school at the advice of some of her teachers, but in the first few weeks of school she feels deeply unready. The school is so big, the schedule confusing, the hallways packed, and her end-of-day English class is full of some of the rowdiest, rudest boys she's ever met. Tara would much rather stay at home playing pretend with her baby brother or go back to middle school and take the eighth grade trip to Six Flags that she had to miss. Even with her older sister, already in tenth grade, willing to lend a hand by drawing her school maps, showing her the dating reality TV show everyone is talking about, and taking her to hangouts in the park, Tara is struggling. But there's this girl. A smart, funny, interesting girl, who partners up with Tara for English assignments and laughs at her jokes. Meeting this girl might just be the one thing that makes high school worth it. I had such a fun time with this comic- it's full of whimsical daydream sequences that really show Tara's internal world. I highly recommend this, especially to anyone who felt (or feels) unready to leave childhood and enter teenagerdom.

[annisassintchaska]

Daddy's Always Here: Lewis Hamilton X Black!Reader

NOTE: Lele is pronounced Lee-lee

The night is very cold as the time was approaching Christmas, so everyone had to be covered up to keep warm. Lewis was able to be at home during the week to spend some time with Y/n and his daughter, Leah Hamilton; however he had to leave for the last few races of the season. The little Hamilton was very sad that her daddy was leaving again, but promised to still cheer for him while he was on the track.

It was a couple of minutes after 8pm when Lewis returned back to the apartment that was given to him for his stay while in Barcelona as he had some extra things to go over. He decided that since he was lonely from leaving Roscoe at home, he would call to speak with his family. Lewis retrieved the telephone from his pocket and clicked on his Y/n's number to start the facetime; however after a the call was answered he was surprised to see his daughter instead of his wife. "Hi daddy, how are you?!" Asked the fully-energized toddler. "Hi baby, daddy's doing great. How are you and where is mommy?" Lewis asked confused to why his wife was nowhere in sight. "Mommy went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes. Should I give her the phone?" The smart baby asked as her father nodded his head yes.

Little footsteps could be heard until a voice broke out "Leah, you can't be running on the tiles with socks. You'll fall and hurt yourself" Y/n softly spoke to her daughter as she lifts her onto the counter. "Sorry mommy, daddy is on the phone and he wanted to see you" the toddler explains as she showed her mommy the phone. "Hi babe, you look tired. Why are you out in the cold?" Y/n questioned her husband. "Yeah, I'm a bit tired. Just got back from the track and thought I'd check in to see how my beautiful family is doing" Lewis answered causing Y/n to blush. "Well Sir Lewis, if I must have you know, your family is doing quite fine just sad because we miss you being here with us" She replied making a smile appear on his face.

"Daddy, when are you coming home?" Leah asked sadly as she took the phone from her mother's hand. "Why are you asking pumpkin?" Lewis asked suspiciously as she had never asked that particular question before. "I just wanna see you. You go away very quickly after coming home and we don't have enough time for bedtime stories or cuddles anymore cause you are never at home. Daddy, do you love me?" The toddler asked on the verge of tears, shocking both parents as the baby had never mentioned feeling this way before. "Of course I love you Lele, you're my daughter. As you know I have to work to be able to take care you and mommy so I'm away a lot which is why when I'm at home, I try to spend as much time with you as possible. Please don't doubt my love for you my baby. I love you with all my life" Lewis explained as his heart was breaking at the words he heard.

"Tell you what, daddy doesn't have work tomorrow so how about you both stay on the phone until you fall asleep. He can read you a bedtime story and you both can talk about your day at school and your drawings yeah?" Y/n suggested making the toddler become excited. Throughout the time, Leah showed her daddy some pictures she drew and painted in class as they spoke about the meanings behind them, then they talked about her new teddy that grandpa Anthony gave her and what she named it. Eventually things winded down as Leah was put into her crib with the phone because Lewis wanted to speak with his baby before she fell asleep. "Leah, I want to let you know that I love you very much and I know it's hard for you to understand now that I'm away most of the time but I promise you that you and your mommy are always on my mind. I wish I could take you with me everywhere I go but that is impossible due to you having school. I want you to know that no matter where in the world I am from home, my heart is always with you. Daddy will always be here ok?" He asked as he daughter nodded her head in response. They moved onto the bedtime story where Lewis read until Leah fell asleep when Y/n came to get the phone.

"She really needed that talk." Y/n said as she walked towards her bedroom. "Yeah I know. I'll be coming home on a three hours flight tomorrow for the Christmas break. So we'll be spending a lot of ime together with her alright?" Lewis responded as Y/n became excited to have her husband back home. "Yeah, I'll make sure to keep the secret. I love you Lew" Y/n said as Lewis replied "I love you too Y/n/n" before the call ended. This specific night, Lewis went to sleep feeling jittery at the mere thought of reuniting with his family.

[barzfrommarz]

c!wilbur headcanons for @dynamitedarlingg

-during a breakdown in pogtopia, he went to go burn the original lmanburg flag but stopped himself. Opted for burning pieces of paper with the lmanburg flag drawn on instead

-(aroace c!wil propaganda incoming) after revival he tried to force himself to feel romantic/sexual attraction because he wanted to feel like a normal human again and that is how everything with c!quackity started. He only snapped out of it when they got drunk and hooked up and woke up in his bed like “wait a minute…”

-Favorite snack is goldfish crackers (i’m eating some while writing this)

-Has a tic where he throws his head back and brings his arms into like a “rawrrrr” position like he’s trying to scare someone. Think during the dance scene in the wendnesday show where wednesday is dancing and looks up to the ceiling and her arms are moving side to side kinda in that position. Everyone thinks he’s either joking or making a piss poor attempt to scare them and it’s really embarrassing for Wilbur

-Had a major goth phase as a teen to rebel against phil. He doesn’t dress the part but he still considers himself a goth and the Lmanburg uniform was somewhat inspired by gothic aesthetics 

-Used to hate halloween but it’s now his favorite after revival because he doesn’t have to try as hard to look presentable to others 

-Pretends to hate asmr but actually loves it. Sometimes if he exhausts all his other options to try and fall asleep he will use asmr and it always works

-Hates his crow wings because he feels like they make him look like his father. Purposely got them clipped some point during lmanburg and excused it by saying it would make him less of a target in war

-He can somewhat shapeshift. Mostly stays human/a crow but sometimes will give himself fox ears and a tail because he secretly wishes he was one instead of a crow. Could also explain why c!fundy is a fox 

-He explores all art mediums. Drawing has always been a way for him to visualize his emotions since he sometimes has a hard time identifying them

-Ashamed of his scars and stitches. tries to use foundation to cover them up but it never works and everyone can tell he’s wearing it

-Was a huge theater and band kid in middle-high school. Wished he went for a career in acting or music first instead of the president of a random country on a random secluded island in the middle of the ocean

-Burned all the music he wrote and recorded during his days on the smp on cds. He plans to one day release some of them in an ep but he’s saving it for when he truly feels he has healed enough to handle it

-He struggles with pain seeking stims. He picks at his skin, bites his hands and fingers and pulls out hair 

-He never cries infront of others. He only did once infront of Tommy and Quackity when he was told people use his name as a way to imply someone is being crazy/irrational. (this was inspired by a comic I saw basically doing that I forgot who drew it) ((he also swears up and down it doesn’t upset him after the fact)) (((Idk I just think something like that would really get to him esp since he tries so hard not to be like how he was in pogtopia)))

-I like to think c!wilbur is an empathetic person but he struggles with showing it especially after he was revived. He thinks it makes him look weak or vulnerable so he keeps it to himself and this makes him look more like a major asshole than he already does 

-When no one is around, he will do childish activities like hop scotch or watching cartoons because it strangely helps him calm down and unwind 

-His diet after revival consists of. Mac and cheese, instant mashed potatoes, all meat besides ham or bacon with a stupid amount of seasoning, plain white rice (sometimes with soy sauce), whatever fast food he serves (but only as a treat). Mostly just simple things because he can’t be arsed to make himself a good meal like phil did for him when he lived with him before starting the burger van

-He sleeps in the burger van on the floor with one pillow and a scratchy blanket. No one knew this until he forgot his coat at last nevadas and Quackity saw him like that when he went to bring it back to him. He ended up offering Wilbur a hotel room to sleep in for the night because he felt bad. Wilbur declined because he felt like he was being mocked 

-If the game WEBFISHING existed in the dsmp universe, you would not see Wilbur for days because all he wants to do is fish and forget about life

-Actively goes out of his way to cook and eat every salmon he catches. It makes him feel empowered 

-Either rides a bike to get around or drives a motorcycle. He doesn’t wear a helmet when riding either 

YIPPEE THATS IT KEEP THE ASKS COMING PEOPLE (but give me a bit to get back in my thinking chamber)

[zinya]

How brothers would react to an MC with bad grades ?

Because we've all had bad grades one day and we all deserve to be comforted.

Lucifer:

Being one of the students in the exchange program he will look at your grades very closely , he may even be aware of your grade before you do.

If it's just one bad grade he will lecture you and probably ban you from certain activities so that you work more (You can say goodbye to video game nights with Levi)

If it's several bad grades he will start asking you questions about what you don't understand and will give you lessons.

Of course, if it's grades that start to weigh on your morale, once your homework is finished, you're welcome to his room to relax.

"I believe in you, don't be discouraged, my love"

Mammon

welcome to the club

If it's a bad grade in math don't worry, The Great Mammon can help you.

Don't be discouraged human, he also has bad grades and lives very well

If he sees that you are depressed because of your grades he will suggest that you go out somewhere with him to take your mind off things. Do you prefer to go shopping or maybe go party somewhere?

If you don't want to go out then he will take you into his room and watch a movie in his arms while he comforts you and cuddle with you

Leviathan

I am convinced that he will show you anime with heroes at school to remotivate you "Hey I have a new anime called "I have bad grades and then everything changed the day I made friends"

If you don't want to, you can always watch TSL with him

But don't get me wrong he will encourage you to work too but he will come get you to take a break if it's been a long time

I don't know if devildom has computer science, but in any case if it's this subject that you're struggling with, he can help you.

Satan

Literally become your personal teacher after all, all his knowledge is yours.

Will lend you textbooks and workbooks

He will always encourage you to do your best

Like mammon he will also offer to go out and clear your mind: Do you want to buy new books? Go drink something at the cat cafe? Maybe the park?

Will read books to you or recite lessons at night in his room when you sleep together

Asmodeus

Positive affirmations

Are you discouraged? Has your self-confidence taken a hit? Spend 10 minutes with him and none of this will happen

"Honey don't cry your pretty skin and your beautiful eyes will suffer "

Will ask you to go shopping with him and you will receive 2 or 3 gifts so he can see you smile

He will help you with the charms lessons (TP too perhaps XD)

You will have the right to take a bath in his bathroom with his products to relax

Beelzebub

Will give you food to comfort you

Would like to help you with potions classes but we all know how it will end

Will give you hugs to comfort you and take you to exercise (if you want of course) to clear your mind

If you decide to study more he will come see you like Levi to take breaks and he will often bring you water or snacks

He will cheer you to death like you do during his matches

Maybe give you a kind of lucky charm to bring you luck for the next exams

Belphegor

Cuddle time

Since it concerns you, he will listen to you talk, like Asmo, about what is wrong

Then he will take you to the top of the Attic to sleep and relax with him

When you revise he comes and sleeps in your bed to keep you company

If you can't sleep because of stress you know where his room is , just kidding, he's already next to you in your bed, can't you see him?

(I don't know who drew this but it's so beautiful.) Anyway, I wrote that instead of studying my exam for tomorrow haha 😅🥲

Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language and sometimes I don't understand your abbreviations or expressions🤣

Tell me if you want the others

And don't forget that the most important thing is to do all you can and to be proud of yourself.

Have a Good day 💋

[cowboy-robooty]

something that i think is sooooo stupid is this obsession people have with being "good for their age" at art. i know a million people say this and talk about this sentiment being harmful already but i really do think it is a terrible way to think about things. Art is a skill just like being good at math or playing basketball and I think its stupid when people put the worth of their skillset in tandem with their age because also it completely disregards the notion of how everybody lives in different ways. Michaelangelo was so good at art not only because he was a genius but also because bro literally woke up every mf day and only drew since he was a little baby so no shit he could make amazing sculptures in his early 20s. Everyone lives with so many different responsibilities and different amounts of freetime, so really i think its quite stupid to say someone is "good for their age" because that doesnt say anything about their ability to budget their time or naturally progress or commit to the grind despite everything or really anything at all since you dont have any idea about what kind of life they live. There are crazy artists out there who go to cram school for 11 hours a day on top of extracirriculars + volunteer work and still manage to create with the same skill level as someone who is the president of going home club. You dont know the resource of time that is ACTUALLY avaliable to one person compared to others using their age, so its stupid to act as though that its such a big deal. I personally dont think ive ever been good at drawing for my age and thats fine because I dont care about that. I could be good at drawing for my age if i committed more freetime to practicing it, but i dont because i dont want to. just like how i could be a super scholar whiz at chemistry or something but im not because I dont want to spend all my freetime doing problems and reading textbooks. I dont think the progress id make in those kinds of skills are worth missing watching a movie with my friends or learning how to bake a cake or enjoying a walk on a trail. I think anybody can be a genius at anything if they put their mind to it, but it also comes at great suffering most of the time because a lot of sacrifices have to be made and being able to embrace the choices you make with the limited time you have is important to being happy with what you have. Like yknow celebrating the stuff you were able to collect instead of mourning all the things you wish you had. I think only very few people are actually good at art for their age, like how einstein is one of the few people who was for real smart for his age and that is okay because what matters is having something you feel passion in doing. For a lot of people if they actually forced themselves to sacrifice what they needed to in order to be "good for their age" they would probably lose the passion in their craft during that process; which is probably one of the only ways to make the skill of drawing useless.

[cat-boi-gaming]

Scott smajor… what is he?

Scott smajor is one of my favorite Minecraft YouTuber the series I’m talking about today is the life series

so I’m going to some up the life series for y’all, so we’re on the same page.

The life series is a series created by Grian, you get three lives, a green life, yellow life in a red life. Greens are peaceful, yellow lives are aggressive to greens and reds are aggressive to everyone. Each series within the life series, has a little twist to it. Like last life with the bogeyman in the amount of lives assigned at the beginning, double life with the soul bonds, Limited life being limited by a clock, in secret life where you were assigned tasks to do things along with the bogeyman curse in both limited life and secret life. Scott as a character has a lot of lore when it comes to the life series. He’s been there since third life, and we know he’s pissed off the watchers. The thing that I’m confused about is why was he in third life at least from a lore perspective. The cast of third life had all been on the evolution server, but not Scott. So why was he there? He didn’t have a connection to the watchers for them to have pulled him into the game, so how did Scott get there? That’s the question that led me down this theorizing path.

I couldn’t really figure out a reason why he would be in third life, but I do know this the watchers don’t like Scott. The watchers have said before “he mocks us”. He refuses to do the bogeyman curse, and still wins. Scott is bright, both as a character and intelligence wise. It makes sense for the Waters to have their eyes on Scott and for Scott to have gotten their attention. The problem is pinpointing where that comes from. Obviously, the watcher his attention was drawn whenever he refused to do the bogeyman curse, but if that was the case, why was he put back? Where the watcher is trying to expand the people that they influence so they added more people during last life? Did Scott do some thing in third life that drew the attention of the watchers? Because I don’t think he was a part of the Yandry high school lore so there’s no way for the watchers to have gotten involved there, and even then there seems to be times with that pre-dates when the watchers were causing a lot of problems. he could also have gotten their attention from some of the other series that he’s done, but then why only Scott why not anyone else? What makes Scott so special that the Watchers felt the need to include him in third life

Also, what is up with that Ally blessing.

The ally blessing is a blessing that has surprisingly held out through all of the series. How Scott’s ally blessing works, is, if he’s allied with a person that person will win or he will win. Well, some believe he wasn’t allied with scar in secret life he, in fact was allied with scar. He gave him that enchanted sword, and during the opposite episode on scars perspective, the way he talked implied that he had caught onto what scars task was or at least he understood that he was doing the opposite of what he was saying so when scar said I’m so glad we’re not allies Scott played along. I understand that logistically the ally blessing is just Scott being a really good player and wanting the others to win but I am doing this purely from a lore point of view.

all of this kind of swirled together until I came up with this theory.

Scott is some thing like the watchers. I don’t think he’s a watcher, I also don’t think he’s a listener, I think he’s his own thing, something separate to the watchers in the listeners, so I started calling him a whisper, since we have watchers for the eyes listeners for the ears so it’s only logical the next thing we get is whispers out of the mouth. and when you look at it from that perspective, a lot of the questions I was asking earlier kind of get solved

if he’s a whisper as I’m calling it, it makes sense for him to effectively be an opposite of a watcher or a listener, giving blessings instead of curses or breaking curses for other people in fact, Scott is the reason why the canary curse got broken. Lizzie was attacking Scott when she fell into the void and took the curse,

i’m thinking the watchers knew that Scott was something otherworldly and decided to drag him in along with grain.

I also support this with the fact that Scott is aware of the past lives, he repeatedly makes references to rats smp, witchcraft smp, third life, new life, pirates smp , and so many more. He’s very obviously not an NPC if we’re using Martin‘s lore.

but we also don’t have any conformation that he’s a player like Martin is

but we do know Grain does remember at least some of the past lives

so, using this evidence, I am suggesting that Scott falls into another category of otherworldly beings like the watchers and the listeners

But that’s just a theory

[cuttergauthier]

Treated Like A Princess

Gabe Perrault x Female Reader

Warning: fluff, cursing, Mention of ex, Mention of abuse from ex, Mention of alcohol

word count: 1.3k

let me know what you guys think🤍

Gabe and I have been dating for the past 8 months. We met when Gabe played for the NTDP last year. We had to do a project together in school so we got close. I had broken up with my abusive boyfriend about 3 months earlier so I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, but Gabe made me change my mind.

After a month of knowing Gabe and him trying to ask me out on a date, I told him about my ex which isn’t something I like to talk about but for some reason I knew I could trust Gabe so I told him. Gabe was angry at my ex which is understandable, and he also promised me he would never hurt me and if I gave him a chance he could prove it. 

I ended up giving him a chance and it’s probably one of the best decisions I could have made, he treats me like a princess everyday. He asked me to be his girlfriend last May.

In high school we would go to some of the same places we just never saw each other, until we started working on a project together. We found out that we were both about to start our freshman year of College at Boston College.

We spent most of the time during summer that he wasn’t training together. When we got to Boston College at the end of August we saw each other as much as we could before he got too busy with hockey and me with school.

His teammates are all pretty great. Him and the rest of the Freshman all live in dorms close to each other so I've been spending a lot of time there instead of my dorm. I got pretty close to them, they're great guys, they’re always doing something stupid. 

…

Tonight the hockey team was throwing a party after their big win, since I’m dating Gabe I always go. 

Thankfully the party was at the Seniors house. Gabe told me he would meet me at my dorm room before going to the party. I had taken my car to the arena, I went back to my dorm room so I could change before making my way to Gabe’s dorm room. I was laying on Gabe’s bed scrolling through TikTok waiting for him to get home.

At around 10:00 p.m. his bedroom door opened and Gabe walked in. I looked up from my phone and smiled at him. He dropped his bag at the end of the bed on the floor, before he made his way to me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Sorry it took so long, some of the guys needed a drive so Ryan went to drive them to the dorms to get change before coming back here” he said.

“No worries. What time is everyone going to start showing up?” I asked.

“Soon we can make our way there as soon as I get changed.” he said

He was looking in his closet for jeans and a tee shirt, he turned around and chuckled at me.

“What?” I looked at him confused.

“The team is already there, they have been setting up for a little bit, did you not see the text in the group chat” he said laughing. I shrugged.

“I don’t know… I was scrolling through TikTok so I didn’t see it,” I said , smiling shyly. 

Was I that focussed on Tiktok that I didn’t realize they were texting in the group chat? 

I’ve been in a group chat with Ryan, Will and Gabe since the UNTDP days. 

Once Gabe was changed he grabbed my hand.

“Come on, let's go to the party” he said smiling.

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I let him walk us to the party.

“This party is going to be pretty big tonight so stay by me please or if you go somewhere make sure you’re with one of the girls” he said and I nodded. 

I’ve always been scared that I might run into my ex boyfriend at Boston College parties since he also goes here, thankfully Gabe always keeps an I on me and most of the parties the guys throw they make sure he doesn’t get in, but tonight is also an open house, so anyone could show up.

We made our way to the kitchen, Gabe took a drink for himself then handed me one. I stayed with him as we talked with Drew and Will. Ryan and his girlfriend Julie made their way to us. 

I talked with Julie while the guys talked with Ryan.

Gabe had his arm around me, we stood in the kitchen next to the counter after the others left to talk to other people.

I was looking around to see if I could possibly see some of my other friends, until my eyes landed on my ex. 

I really hoped he wouldn’t be here, I hope that he knew I was dating one of the guys so wouldn’t come anywhere near me since Gabe could beat him up.

I stood still in shock with my eyes wide. Gabe noticed I wasn’t answering him so he looked at me concerned. He looked to try and find what I was looking at when I felt his body tensed. 

Gabe put his drink on the counter, took mine and did the same before taking my hand and leading me towards the stairs. 

He stopped by Cutter and Charlie before telling them something, I didn’t hear what he said. All I saw was them nodding before he dragged me out of the party and to his dorm room, thankfully it wasn’t far away, but I’m stuck in shock so I didn’t realize how fast the walk went.

He sat me down at the end of his bed before squatting down in front of me. He put both his hands on my cheeks so I could look him in the eyes.

“Hey beautiful, look at me, you have to breath” he said softly 

I took a deep breath. He nodded.

“Just like that… keep doing it”

I did it a few more times, Before I was able to calm down.

“Are you doing better?” He asked

I nodded.

“Thank you, I didn’t think I would actually see him here” I said slowly.

“You don’t have to thank me, Cutter and Charlie said they would handle it” he said and I nodded.

“Do you want to stay here and cuddle?” He asked again.

“Can we? It’s your team's party. I don't want you to have to stay here with me, when you should be celebrating with your team” I asked shyly. I didn’t want to ruin his night, just because mine was.

He shook his head before smiling at me. 

“Babe, I’d rather spend time with you,” he said leaning in and kissing my forehead. He got up and went to his closet and took out sweatpants and a hoodie along with my bag. He walked back to me and gave me the hoodie and my bag.

“Go change,” he said. I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. To do my skincare routine and change into comfy clothes. Once I slipped on my Pj shorts and Gabe's hoodie I went back to his room.

Gabe was laying under the bed covers scrolling through his phone. When he saw me, he put his phone on the nightstand before making a grabby hand at me.

“Come here,” he said. I made my own on the other side of the bed and god under the covers. Gabe pulled me to his chest holding me tight, I closed my eyes, with Gabe I always feel safe. 

He kissed my forehead.

“I love you so much, and I promise I will never let him hurt you again” he whispered.

“Thank you… for everything. I love you too” 

“You never have to thank me for anything. Now get some sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up” he said softly.

I fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Plastic Hearts - (15)

<<<Prev Next>>>

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Lazy Sunday morning

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You were a go getter, a team player, one who knows what to do next all the time that you wished someone would just hold you down, to tell you to breathe. You jumped head first into the next big thing because that was how you survived in this hospitality business. That was how you survived in life in general. So the word lazy never existed in your world. You couldn’t understand the appeal.

Until today.

As you stretched under the covers watching sunlight filter through the blinds. Sunday morning gently coming alive and for the first time you were still in bed. Your usual routine was to head to the markets at five in the morning, to stock up the restaurant with fresh local produce. But instead, when you turned, you caught sight of him still asleep.

The details on his face were remarkable, that often times you only focus on his eyes when he was looking at you. He had that skill, to make you feel like the only girl to exist when his gaze was on you. But now, you caught the way his thick eyelashes curved up effortlessly. The subtle cupid’s bow and the scattered dark spots. The soft rhythm in which his chest rose and fell, his arm slung over you as his fingers twitched. He was dreaming, and just when you were going to question the subject of his dreams, he pulled you closer.

So it turns out, that even someone like you could do lazy mornings. You wrapped your arm around his torso and moved deeper into his hold. No one could take this away. This was all yours to enjoy.

He stirred next to you as he mumbled good morning, his voice husky and coarse. He placed his chin on the top of your head as he put his leg over yours, you couldn’t help but sigh with content.

“We have a lot of work to do today.”, you murmured into the skin of his chest with your eyes closed.

“What help do you need?”, he asked groggily.

“We have all these boxes to sort.”, you peeled away from where you had tucked your face into his neck.

“I haven’t been able to do it for awhile.”, you caught his eyes, contemplating if it was appropriate to tell him the reason behind it.

“Since Melissa’s passing?”, he asked gently, his hand rubbing your back as though he knew you needed comfort.

But all you could do was tilt your head to the side, bewildered how he knew about something you had never shared.

“I overhead bits and pieces about your story at school during lunch time. Teachers love to gossip.”, he gave you a lopsided grin.

“Ken Carson, you trust the rumor mill?”, you narrowed you eyes at him playfully.

“No but to be fair you were ignoring me then.”, he pouted and you couldn’t help but smile. You tucked your head under his chin and he very happily welcomed you into his embrace again.

“I know it’s been a while and I should have gotten over it. But I don’t know, she made me feel loved. Like I was a part of a family for a while.”, you said quietly. These secrets were never shared but confiding in him made the burden feel lighter.

“Grief takes time to heal.”, he said softly as he drew circles on your waist.

“When did you get this philosophical?”, you chuckled and he joined you but he sobered as though there was more to it.

“I knew this kid for a year. He was brilliant and kind but then stopped coming to school. When I found out he was getting treated for cancer, I didn’t know what it was. But I saw him, battle it out and lose against it. I didn’t cry then cause all these concepts that reality was bound by I had never experienced before. But one night as I sat to watch a show, I began to cry and continued to well into the night.”, he shared as he sighed.

“The toughest bit is when it catches you in the middle of a class or you see another kid play football that in turn makes you angry in how any of this is fair but that’s the stake of being here. It’s about every second and what you choose to do with it.”, he concluded to then softly place a kiss on your forehead.

“So if it catches you when we’re sorting the boxes, I’ll be there to hold you up.”, he said it with a confidence that it caused you to tear up.

“Thank you.”, you whispered as you held onto him.

“Now get up, lazy bones, I’ll make us a fresh batch of tea.”, he patted your back as you groaned when he began to slip away from you.

His skin a delight to look at in the morning light as he put on a Tshirt, his puffy sleep ridden eyes made him look all the more dreamier. You pushed away the blanket with a deep breath, the smell of fresh linen and fabric conditioner giving you the boost to get a move on. You had the world to save.

*

You walked into your place and knew the first thing you had to do. Walking up to the cookie jar, you popped open the lid and fetched one for him and yourself. His eyes lit up the moment he recognized it,

“I was supposed to give them to you yesterday but they were too hot to pack.”, you said as he took one from you.

He bit into it and you watched as his shoulder relaxed, his eyes closed and he groaned out of satisfaction.

“Brie, I had missed these.”, he mumbled with his mouth full as you lead him to the storage room, which had been Melissa’s room before.

Your hand hovered over the door knob and when you took a minute, his hand rested on your shoulder, to remind you that he was by your side. Taking a deep breath, you let your palm hold the cold metal and twist it.

The old residual smell of her perfume wafted over you and it brought back all the memories. You sitting by the vanity set as she gave you her antique jewelry set for the restaurant’s anniversary dinner. The side table that still held a half embroidered handkerchief. Pictures of you on one side of the wall, you grew nauseous. She had loved you like a mother even though you were no one’s daughter.

But Ken placed his palm on the small of your back, his lips touching the edge of your ear as he said, “You’re stronger than the past, Brie.”

It got you to stand still, to regain yourself. Because you were. You were stronger than all that had happened. So you turned to kiss his cheek as new found strength filled your system.

“Ok", you said as you inhaled deeply.

"Let’s start with this box here.”, you dusted your hands and got to work.

---

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