#I dont want to be beholden to anyone

[amerasdreams]

I am not going to the party my uncle is throwing at a hotel tomorrow bc i don't want to benefit from someone who supports russia.

[glittergroovy]

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[illogicalghost]

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[parasiticallamb]

i wish i had a choice. i wish i could rot. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. i dont want to be alive. why cant it ever be my choice

[cdroloisms]

read your post about how the atmosphere in dreblr feels a little tense nowadays. honestly when i first joined this fandom i was excited to share takes/meta but i dont do it much anymore cause of how intense ppl get when they disagree… wasnt prepared for that level of intensity

i have to say that my experience with this fandom and your experience with this fandom are ... probably pretty different 😅 (not that i know for sure, of course, so sorry abt any inherent assumptions to when you joined the fandom, i've just been here for damn near forever) and that that'll color my perspective on this, so. fair warning in advance.

to be honest, disagreement in dreblr is not a new thing. when dreblr was created there were two main "camps" of c!dream apologism that disagreed on pretty much everything to do with c!dream after novermber 16th and would write essays debunking each other's takes pretty goddamn often. here's an old post by red responding to a lot of opinions on both sides of the line which i think illustrates this well -- note the difference established between "c!dream apologists" and "c!dream enthusiasts," perhaps better known now as the "trauma interpretation" and "strategist interpretation" of c!dream back before the confirmation of staged finale during the prison break, which shows how different people's opinions of c!dream ranged at dreblr's very conception. and this disagreement ran pretty damn deep, too, lmao--some of it was reserved to debating each other in semiprivate discord servers, but plenty of it was made of vagueing each other's takes or directly debating them on each other's blogs.

i think that a source of friction, to be honest, is that dreblr started as a much more analysis- and meta-focused community than it is now. the entire dsmp fandom was very analysis-heavy in 2021-2022, and dreblr definitely reflected that culture; since the dsmp ended, the amount of active discussion about it in a meta sense has also waned, and as such dreblr and many other areas of dsmp fandom have been more focused on other kinds of fanwork. this isn't a bad thing, of course! but it has led to a shift in etiquette, and while i think meta etiquette and fanwork etiquette are very. very different things, obviously the amount of fanwork and the amount of meta that's around in dreblr spaces influences how people interact with all parts of dreblr etc etc that's just how people and communities work

but back to my point. disagreement has always been a part of this fandom, especially in meta spaces (which used to be pretty much all of dreblr, but has kind of become more of a small part of it in more recent times) and intensity with those disagreements also is kind of ... on par for the course? i mean, personally, i think disagreements ran more intense in dreblr in 2021 on average--it's not like dreblr has been as sharply divided with different "versions" of c!dream apologism since--and when it comes to the general fandom, well, any look at the inbox of anyone posting c!dream positive analysis and the formation of dreblr as a whole speak for themselves. also IFUADA and the whole attempt to like, lmanburg us out of our own house. which was hilarious btw that shit was awesome

like, at the end of the day, meta is made to be a place where people are gonna disagree. and a lot of people in meta spaces find it fun to disagree, even; there are more than a few people who will devil's advocate an argument they don't even agree with just for the sake of disagreement and debate. fandom analysis is just ... like, fandom academia lite, and it's also far less beholden to the rules of professionalism in real academia (not that real academia is free of conflict, obviously. including extremely petty conflict, as anyone who has read enough passive-aggressive as shit academic papers will tell you). this isn't to say that things don't go too far, because again, the history of this fandom proves it LOL. but while we all want people to feel comfortable in meta spaces, we also want meta spaces to be a place for people to be passionate about their opinions and to disagree about them fervently and to debate to their heart's content, bc that's kind of the point of fandom meta, yk?

in my post, i mentioned that i think more open disagreement will be good for dreblr, and i do stand by this point; i think that there's no real point in trying to stamp out disagreement in a space meant to be a free place for people to disagree and express their disagreements, not that that's what you're saying or anything just as a general thought. i also think that more disagreement will help with there feeling like there's less of a "correct" way to think about c!dream and the server, which i think raises the barrier of entry for people who want to post meta but don't want to be eviscerated bc they said something "wrong." of course, i can't force anyone to post meta nor do i want to--hell, i want to post more meta but am limited in time, and i know we all live busy lives 😭 (which is part of why this ask is being answered so late, sorry!) -- my point is i dont think, idk, one person being passionate abt a take or disagreement or whatever is necessarily the problem as far as upping the tension in dreblr as much as like. there's a lot of general discomfort and a lack of willingness to rock the boat in a place which should be a safe waters for everyone to take shots at any ship (er, ship to follow up with the rock-the-boat metaphor, but the secondary meaning does apply here as well) they want. we're shooting with water guns, not real bullets, and there's no fun in a splash fight if everyone's too scared of getting someone else wet, i guess.

that being said, anon, i understand that not everyone wants to participate in the free-for-all take pvp that is inherent to meta spaces...to which i say that, honestly, there's no requirement to participate in analysis spaces specifically to just, share your thoughts on the server. i think that in general, if anyone posts their thoughts on the dsmp and adds a disclaimer to the top like "not really analysis, just miscellaneous thoughts that i would prefer not to be vagued/argued against," i really just don't think that most people are gonna go out of their way to argue with that? you have every right to just yap while opting out of the possibility of being vagued or debated with, but you might have to make it clear beforehand bc vagueposting and debating is just the culture that exists in meta/analysis spaces, especially dsmp meta/analysis spaces that have been a part of dreblr since dreblr was made. and if there's anything else that can be done to make everyone feel more comfortable, i think that's worth discussing!

[dark-fics-4-you]

no offense, i really like your citcc story but why are you being so lazy with publishing the next chapter? you wrote the last chapter in july and its nearly october, if you dont wish to continue thats completely fine its your blog but you keep making excuses and saying you will post it and then you dont. I dont mean this in a mean/negative way, so please dont take it the wrong way, just wanted to know the reason.

The reason is that I’m depressed 😭😭😭 and i struggle with executive function.

And when i do post that i’m close to publishing, usually that is true and then i hit another roadblock, and i’m too embarrassed to say anything bc ppl like you will call me lazy.

CITCC is also my longest story so far and it’s the first time I’ve written a long series on this account. I’m definitely more used to one shots because my dumbass brain doesn’t get tired of the story, or have mental blocks, bc every one shot is a different story, rather than building on an existing one.

I already have the entire storyline of CITCC planned out, which is different than how I’ve written stories in the past, so maybe that’s a reason too, idk.

But anyways, let me just point out that I am doing this all for free, I am not being paid by anyone, so I am not beholden to any deadlines.

I understand that you enjoy the story and want to know what will happen next, and I very much appreciate you reading it, but as I’ve pointed out in the past, ppl in my messages calling me lazy or begging to know when the next chapter is going to come out, are not doing anything to motivate me.

[fruitcd]

listen i get that being beholden to youtube sponsors and ad revenue is extremely difficult, unreliable, and probably soul crushing, and i really dont blame them for wanting to take things into their own hands howeverrrrr i think its obvious to anyone with a brain that watcher have been making some really questionable financial decisions. i knew ghost files was expensive but ryan saying a season can cost upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars is insane, esp when so many of the costs he mentioned seem like they could be mitigated. (they outsource post production????? when they have 25+ employees????? genuinely, why do they need 25 employees?? what could those people possible be doing??) theyve been open abt the fact that even with sponsors, patreon, ads, and merch sales they havent been making nearly enough money to keep the company afloat but they just keep expanding anyways. why do they have a beautiful huge office in the middle of LA and 25 employees and a score of high production shows with interns that they cancel after a season bc they dont immediately go viral?

the "leaving youtube" vid itself is a perfect example of why theyre struggling. this video needed to be a five minute brief explanation of what exactly theyre doing, why theyre doing it, and what they hope to do in the future. instead its a 15 min long vid that opens with establishing shots of someone walking into the watcher office and the hollywood sign, followed by 5 minutes of sad piano music playing behind shane ryan and steven talking abt how much youtube means to them. they dont actually get to the point until around 6 mins in. this vid drives me crazy bc all they needed was shane ryan and steven on a couch talking to a tripod about their new streaming service and instead its a pseudo documentary with 15 people credited in the description. this vid itself was probably way more expensive to make than it needed to be!

the underlying problem is that instead of finding creative ways to do what they want with the budget they have (saw 2004 says hi), they instead want to find ways to increase the budget so they can do everything they want. which i truly sympathize with, it must be hard to invest so much in your dream and then have it not completely work out and depending on youtube ad revenue/sponsors must be awful. but lbr a lot of the problems are self inflicted and the choice to put the burden on the audience to pay $6/month to let them do everything they want instead of finding ways to reduce their bloated operating costs has obviously already pissed a lot of people off.

[jakemorph]

can someone please for the love of god find me i dont think these are my ants i think these are the neigbours ants fuck this ants i am not beholden to this ants i can eat anything i want i can kill anyone i want

[webcomic-character-tournament]

Genuine question. Why are comics from online only publishers discouraged? What is the goal behind discouraging paid webcomics?

sorry for taking so long to answer this!

i got really excited about answering this but also am not very good at communicating things clearly, i often get lost in the details in my passion about stuff like this, so i hope this is still interesting to read and intelligible lol!

i dont think there is any one thing that inherently defines what is and isn't a webcomic, it's an amorphous category that i enjoy the ambiguity of. but for me, what first led to my wonder for them as an 11 year old, and what has been a major factor in my passion for them even as an adult, was their low barrier to entry in both making them and accessing them. if you have internet access and time, almost anyone can make a webcomic if they want to! of course, without editors (or often even full story plans) or sensitivity readers or more people on a team to collaborate and contribute to the comic's vision, and the huge effort that it takes to do all the tasks of writing, inks, coloring, lettering, etc. all on ones own often without professional resources to facilitate that, that means that a lot of webcomics are really rough in some way or another. but a lot of people have interesting ideas they want to work with, but don't have the technical skill, desire or ability to market themselves or be beholden to external work deadlines, or connections in some way or another to be able to share those ideas through traditional publishing. regardless of skill or ability, a lot of marginalized people are barred from having their stories accepted by publishers due to bigotry and expectations about what kind of story is profitable.

as a disabled lgbt kid, i definitely read a lot of really bad webcomics i wish i hadn't, but also some of the media i was exposed to that most represented me back then was in the form of webcomics from people a lot like me. and i could read so much of it easily and for free without having to risk much to access it behind my parents' backs!

obviously that isn't the case for every webcomic, but for me and my history with them, them being easily accessible to both publish and read has been really important.

there are absolutely a lot of good points to be made about how publishing free to read webcomics isn't always the most accessible thing for a lot of people, especially for poor and disabled people. making webcomics takes a huge amount of time and effort, and sometimes even if people are passionate about making a comic, they just can't afford to find the time for that around all the other responsibilities of their day to day lives unless it can be a consistent income source. thats why even if paid online comics arent my platonic ideal of webcomics, i absolutely would never exclude them. i want small creators making stories i want to read to get the money they need to survive and keep telling stories without burning out!

it could be argued that online publishers who specifically focus on webcomics don't always present the same barriers to entry as traditional publishers, and many don't restrict the scope of marginalized creators' stories at all or to the same extent as people have struggled in other more mainstream avenues. and from my outside understanding of publishers like hiveworks, i'd absolutely agree with that! i love a lot of hiveworks comics and think its an awesome thing! (of course literally my icon is from a hiveworks comic, tiger tiger!) nonetheless however, part of my goals with this tournament is to highlight lesser known comics, and as publishers like hiveworks help advertise and promote their comics, even if i still want everyone to read all my favorite comics published by them, and certainly there are limits to those advertising resources, they still don't need as much help as other comics without that support. so its not as much 'try not to submit these' and more 'as you submit stuff like this, try to submit stuff with less advertising resources and popularity too!'

going into this tournament i also had a similar sentiment for stuff like webtoons originals. there was an added element to me in how i feel like i know a lot of people nowadays who read webtoons but don't have much awareness of other forms of webcomic, but even if in my love for webcomics i want people to come to appreciate all the breadth of ways they can exist in, thats obviously not something to make a huge priority. it's incredible the amount of forms comics can take (sidenote but reading scott mccloud's "understanding comics" a couple years ago was really formative for me in cementing how much i appreciate that, i'd highly recommend it!!!), and the way infinite scroll comics like webtoon style comics more fully make use of their digital medium, using time scrolling to pace things in place of traditional gutters and panelling, is really really cool. of course they're becoming more popular in a world where more people have smartphones, where webtoon style comics are a lot easier to read than many other forms. i love a lot of webtoons, and id feel regressive to discourage stuff like line webtoon original comics any more than stuff like hiveworks comics, just to go against current trends in what comics people seem to prefer. they have a similar low barrier to entry (through contests) as other online publishers, and it's cool to see creators get the opportunity to get paid for their work and get help from professional editors and stuff

but in the past couple weeks of running this tournament, i ended up reading a lot more about the behind the scenes of what its like to be a line webtoon original creator. line webtoon's expectations for their creators are incredibly unrealistic and exploitative, with grueling deadlines leading to a lot of creators to get repetitive strain injuries, all while working for well below industry standards. obviously a lot of webcomic creators make an inconsistent poverty level income out of it as independent creators, and that shouldn't happen either, but it's absolutely inexcusable for a company to profit off this labor and then manufacture these same conditions. without any organized labor movement surrounding that issue, that of course isn't an argument against reading or promoting these comics on its own, creators are more likely to get more income if their comics get more popular, and despite the promise of popularity by becoming an official comic, they absolutely still aren't all promoted equally. what has made me want to slightly more discourage (but still absolutely not disallow!) stuff like line webtoon official comics has been the combination of that along with learning that much of the editing of webtoons originals carries less of the benefits of having experienced creatives collaborating with creators to elevate their stories to new levels, and very often instead ends up taking the form of 'simplify this plotline and make this character look more attractive and fit this archetype more fully so we can market this better and have readers easily consume each update while they're scrolling their phone without having to think about it too much'. while obviously there are a lot of amazing webtoon official comics in spite of what i've heard anectdotally, hearing that just really went against so much of what i've most valued about my experience with webcomics!

i want creators to be able to tell stories no matter how weird and unmarketable, where they'll never have to worry about pushback for making stories with characters and themes that resonate for them as a member of any oppressed group, and where there's as little pressure as possible pushing them to work harder or faster than they healthily can or want to! so for me, even if i still love a lot of online published comics and want them to be celebrated and want their creators to be able to make a comfortable living out of them, i still just want to highlight stories that had that level of freedom that has created some of my favorite experiences with webcomics just a little bit more.

[meatpuppit]

obviously i dont want anyone to feel beholden to my miserable existence. but like. idk lol it doesnt matter.

[princess-ibri]

Why don't you do one of your disney verse stories with princess Ivy from Sofia the First and her sister after all if you've arleady done one with the witch shuriki from Elena of Avalor which i really like by the way why not do one with the princess with power white, black after all you don't believe.

Look, I usually try to be very polite and give people the benefit of the doubt but this is getting annoying. I'd talk to you in private but your conversation seems to have disappeared from my DMs and since ignoring your many previous asks doesnt seem to have deterred you either I'll do it here.

Please stop asking me for Princess Ivy stuff. I've explained before that I'm not that interested in her, and after the last ask you sent where you said you'd "waited long enough" for me to do a backstory on her I have no interest at all in ever doing one.

I do these things for fun. I'm not getting paid, I'm not beholden to anybody to do anything. If I answer an ask its because I feel like it, if I do a backstory or any art it's because I'm actually interested in it, if I dont answer an ask it's because I don't have an obligation to if I find the contents demanding or uninteresting or simply using my blog to promote their own ideas with no real interest or tie in to my works here.

This is something that sadly seems to be happening more frequently. Guys, I dont mind seeing your own stuff or answering questions on topics, but like, use your own blogs to promote your original ideas, not mine, its only polite.

If all you really want is someone to echo back exactly the take on a character or headcanon you have, that's not what I'm here for. I can't mind read what you want me to say and I'm not going to just randomly add in things you think I should to a project I'm doing for fun and don't expect anyone else to be beholden to head canon wise.

It feels like most of the asks I get aren't from anyone actually interested in the stories I've been crafting here or even people interested in discussing Disney stuff as an actual discussion of two people who enjoy Disney characters and history but people who just want a random person to echo chamber them for a hot sec so they can feel good about their own thoughts and never interact more than that.

In conclusion, I will draw what I want to draw and I'll do it when I want to do it. This blog is ultimately for me, the artist and writer, to have fun with. Unless you're wanting to commission me to do something I don't have any obligation to draw anything for anyone, and even then I still reserve the right to say no if I want to.

Sorry about the rant to everyone who has been wonderful and supportive and actually interested. Thank you for being a positive motivator and good tumblr neighbors.

[tiressian]

Any advice for writing multi chapter fics?

have fun! make sure this is fun for you. if youre not having fun youll resent the work

planning is essential but WATCH OUT, sometimes more details in your outline will work against you 😣 so when you plan a fic do broad strokes

something has to happen in every chapter to move the plot forward, thats what your readers want to know. every chapter is the crumb to build a cake

you dont have to write chapters in order, feel free to write that scene youve always wanted. (you do have to publish in order though lol)

you will grow as a person and experience different things, watch or read different media which will inspire you while you write your fic and youll discover, hey, i dont really wanna write this plot point anymore and thats ok. always remember it's your fic your rules and you are sharing it with people. you're not beholden to anyone

writers block happens, dont beat yourself up, we all go through it

thats all i got lol

[5-htagonist]

anyone else notice in the utena movie cartenas keyhole is like. a Significantly more yonic rose...

more utena analysis

the roses anthy upkeeps, her beliefs in the prince... its the key, utena shares her vulnerability, the roses she upkeeps, her fragile form (but ego, its a slick ass car despite its fragility... its also fast, and anthy in it is intimate because of the size of the cockpit vs jeekaba being pretty large and accommodating...) and anthy is able to share her burdens as well, notably she tries to snatch the ring away from utena in the beginning, tries to tell her its her burden, she shouldnt get involved, i am the one who keeps the roses, feeling so isolated and alone she doesnt remember everyone has their roses they have to upkeep in ohtori, when beholden to anthys delusional, battered, and then manipulated belief in the prince. but she handles utenas vulnerabilities, which are so similar to her own, and allows utena to be her vehicle to leave, empowering her to use eko and fkos guidance, empowering her to call for help and accept it from wakaba juri miki and saionji, knowing now they suffer from their own false beliefs and want to break free but dont know how.

the series is utena coming to befriend and thereby empower anthy to stop pouring her magic into believing akio will ever become dios again, leaving ohtori as she knew it and revolutionizing the world.

the movie is about anthy accepting help from others, exercising the cosmic agency she is empowered with when the idea of the past returning is completely dead in her consciousness. however, its hard to fully let go of the prince. despite being dead, and despite anthy not pouring as much magic into maintaining ohtori itself, she still tends to her roses, she still sees dios in utena, shes still receptive to utena performing the role anthy is so familiar with and longs for the pure love of hopelessly, and she knows utena is noble and pure... she cant help but compare her to dios, even if shes abandoned the idea of dios returning, and doesnt find herself as beholden to the structures that kept her subservient (she comes to utenas aid despite not being her bride! shes extremely superficially intimate with her, but still falls back on the rose to explain her behavior) she still longs for when she was truly loved, and she now knows utena loves her like that, due to how she forgave anthy and still reached out to connect to her in the series, so now that shes empowered to let herself truly strip emotionally, to be vulnerable for utena, to give her burdens to her.... its just So Good.

i do like the series more just bc it has so much like. More. in general... and also i like the character art and animation itself better, but the movie is NECESSARY viewing! it is the conclusion to utena when its as read as an abuse allegory (both on the micro and macro levels), an allegory for being robbed of your agency in ways that are unjust, an allegory for the cyclical gaslighting of those with suppressed will to power into believing they should meet all perceived expectation, and take punishment for not doing so.

i think the exploration of being socially empowered to abandon the guilt and expecation is so so good, and i think the exploration of how hard it is to fully let go of the idealized image of the system that held you captive, but the ride out is easier when you ask for help is the perfect wrap to that.

its a lot easier to get out of a prison in a vehicle than on foot lol

[bisluthq]

I dont understand why people WANT Taylor to have been in an abusive, terrible relationship lol. like thats my biggest question at all of this, why they want this to have been true why they want Joe to have been so awful and her to have been in such a bad situation? my pet theory is because subconsciously they're still in active denial over the matty thing and they know there is no way around that that doesnt make taylor look like she may have been the wrongdoer.

Eh I just think Swifties aren’t willing to see a story that’s like “she had a good but obviously - in her own lyrics - flawed relationship for over half a decade and that’s awesome like that’s an achievement and she can be happy with that because she’s not a character in a story, she’s a real person and this shaped her and taught her stuff but it didn’t work out” because that’s not a cool story??? Things idk end lol and not Jack and Rose style or whatever like things idk just regularly don’t work out and that’s okay.

Taylor quite clearly left Joe for Matty but like that doesn’t make her the wrongdoer either like he’s just imho he’s what she needed to push her to leave a situation that for her became miserable but like her situation being miserable (which I think it was) doesn’t make Joe a villain lol. She was entitled to leave him. Anyone’s entitled to leave whenever and for whoever like you’re not beholden to your situation unless, again, you’re in a religious fundamentalist place and that’s why that shit’s bad? Like you should be allowed to be like “idk this properly sucks and now I’m going” idk. You should have that choice. Always.

it’s not easy for anyone and it wasn’t for Taylor but she idk did it because she decided she wasn’t happy with Joe anymore? And that’s relatable and like lowkey beautiful because again she’s always so honest in her lyrics and she NEVER made out that this was perfect EVER lyric wise. Nothing ever is.

[gu3ntzel]

Wow, for someone apart of a fandom clique, you don't seem to understand why people dislike you.

im only goijng to say this once: i am not in a fucking clique. i am not a part of any group. i am not fucking beholden to anyone, nor am i ever going to. i have one fandom friend, one who i have known for ten fucking years, and that is the only person i will ever, defend with my last fucking dying breath, who i can fucking talk to like a normal mature person and not sit there and worry about the double meaning, about the backstabbing, about the absolute fucking bullshit some people here are trying to do

fine, let me lay it all out for you, if you think im a fucking "clique": i am fucking tired of both "groups", whatever the fuck you want to call them, sitting here and being passive aggressive. of the constant "oh-wah im not getting reblogs but this other person is:((( oh-wah theyre posting the same photos that im posting!!" when its all content we have access too!!! who gives a FUCK if they reblog someone your friend made, if they "ignore" something you made, who FUCKING CARES!!!! this is supposed to be acommunity of fucking grown adults and instead its people here getting prissy because oh!!!!! someone saw someone's ELSE'S gifs first and reblogged them1!!! someone fu kming happened to also see a part of a game that they thought was cooll, hot, fucking i dont know, and they also decided to gif it.

do none of you realize how fucking crazy you sound saying that shit?! acting like this?! sending people fucking shitty hateful anons because it makes you feel beter?1 who FUCKING CARES?! and this goes for both "sides"--i dont care! no one cares! bo opne cares about your fucking passivre aggressiveness, your stupid fucking sly tags, NO ONE CARES BUT FUCKING YOU

and if this is going to be how fandom interactions fucking are, gooing to be, especially with "bigger" blogs, im going to go back to stop fucking talking to anyone, because this is fucking bullshit

[edelblau]

i want a nice pizza with a dip ordered warm but i cant afford it thsi month. i was gonna offer to suck the dick of anyone who got me a pizza but i dont wanna be beholden to that i dont even know how to suck a dick properly