#I dont remember which tag I use 3< /div>
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“So, mobs is short for mobsters, because obviously in this game our primary enemy is the Italian mafia. Uh, I keep asking them to add the Yakuza, but that’s like a whole separate thing apparently."
- Joe of the Hills variety, Bonus snow day Vault Hunters stream! 1:25:07
#I dont watch joe's streams much but I just happened to pop in yesterday and hear this and I thought it needed to be remembered.#hope this doesnt flop because normally I get so few notes ever but its such a thing to say about vault hunters to people coming from pinbal#just noticed that he's streaming right now too so this is being released into the wild and I am off to watch his stream#I know I have at least one mutual ever who likes joehills so. crossing my fingers. pls spread in the world like it has into my brain#bella said something#joehills#joe hills#I dont remember which tag I use </3#quotes#not as unhinged as some of the joehills quotes out there but. I like it :3
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let! him! have! his! octopus! plush! >:[
(messy extra stuff----)
meanwhile,back at NRC:
(+ here’s a WIP >:] )
#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#harveston sledathon#azul ashengrotto#i'm. tagging him because. he's there in spirit in the pic--- and he's under the read more-#ram's art#i mainly used this as a practice for something - which is why it's messyyyyyy#anyways i think he should have been allowed an octopus :[ to limit him to land animals only is mean :[[[[[#also i am. enjoying this event so much fr#oh yea - i sorta tried to wing the fabrics that jade picked----#i. think. at least---#i didn't actually re-read that part so i probably mis-remembered what he picked aha---#oh also also dont look at the sled <3 i sorta . skimmed drawing it#anywaysss mush! mush! little plush octo!!! you can do it!
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elaborate self hate and ungodly amounts of yapping. underneath is just the main ones without text on it
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#abel lobcorp#abram lobcorp#adam lobcorp#x lobcorp#too much. too much effort into this. far too much. why. why.... i know why pointless to qsk its becwuse i didnt want to do things irl#ADAM WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAG AUGHHGJGN the text is also placed weird im syill trying to figure out ways to layout text w drawings its odd#its supposed to read top section then left to right to left bock then righr block but its. weird. ITS WEIRD but serviceable so shitpost#quality for formating or how ever you call it with genuine effort . for SOME reason. anyways. elaborate self hate was supposed to be a#captjom for a different work i had in mind before i lost power and thus motivation. might still do it though. its just the As beating the#shit outa eachother in a very shit way. adam would bite someone to win. all im saying. and abram wears slippers. throwable. abel cane. smack#anyways the text i put isnt what i can call really in character its just whay i remember off basic beats and then stretched longer for comic#timing and just to have text there. yeah.... dont kill me..#(says that when ever i end up writing dialog due to my insecurity in the ability to capture the essence of a chatacter)#lobotomy corporation spoilers#i dont remember which spoiler tags i use typically. uhhh works. theres like 3 variations or smthn#can you see where i decided to put actual time into this. it was not planned to have this muhch effort.. visible shift
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I thought you kin kdj?
anon i hope this is a joke cause if this is a genuine question it is the singlemost scathing read i have ever recieved in my life 👏 bravo
#I WANT YOU TO KNOW IM LAUGHING THIS IS FUNNY REGARDLESS OF WHATEHR UR SERIOUS#not laughing At You tbc just the situation generally. genuinely not mad fhdkfdk#to answer ur question: no i dont bc i stopped kinning a bit before reading orv so the stars did not align#i think the me from when i used to kin definitely wouldve tho if thats any consolation#but yeah everyone i AM being truthful whenever i say i dont kin kdj#its just REALLY funny how much overlap there happens to be thats all#THIS HAS SURPASSED THE PERSON WHO TAGGED MY POST THINKING I WAS A KDJ ROLEPLAYER BTW. WHICH IS A HIGH BAR#inbox#EDIT: FRIEND HAS JUST NOTIFIED ME THERES A POST ON HERE WHERE I SAID I DID IN FACT KIN KDJ??? I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS. GENUINELY.#ANON YOU ARE JUSTIFIED SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION I HAVE DISSOCIATION AND MEMORY ISSUES LMAO??? whoever made that post was wilding#me the one typing this has no memories of kinning kdj so uh. SHRUG??? i wasnt lying on purpose at least#.....DO YOU SEE WHY THERES OVERLAP. THERES A REASON THE NUMBER 49 HAUNTS ME#edit2/update: they apparently distinctly remember me saying it in the tags of a post but nEITHER OF US CAN FIND IT#what is happening...hello....is anyone out there....#*knocks on my own skull* hello?? anyone home?! WHO DID THIS 🤣😭#EDIT/UPDATE 3: I FUCKING FOUND IT its from nearly 4 years ago holy shit#still dont remember posting that at all
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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Neve and Auri <3
Tavs of, respectively, @again-please and @aevallare. astarion isnt here because this isn't about him
#bg3#other people's tavs#leetledraws#leetleart#i still dont remember which tag i use goddddd anyway#girls <3 wamen <3
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I wanted to draw misakis funny shirt so so so badly but i couldnt draw her hat for the life of me :,,,,(
#watching mygo rn grgrggrrgrggrhr its so good#i love them all…… ive forgotten their names rn so i cant tallk abt them but i love them#art tag#bandori#whats the bandori tag. got damn#bang dream#hello happy world#girls band party#misaki okusawa#kokoro tsurumaki#dunno if i should use their ship tag its not like. ship art? theyre kinda just hanging out#man i wish bandoris beatmaps itched my brain as nicely as other rhythm games do#somethin about it…. maybe its just meaner to me but it doesnt feel as like satisfying to play? which sucks#and you can only use i think up to 3 energy things!!!!! getting the event stories are killing me let me use more!!!!!!!!#cutomised the hell out of the lane and beat thingies which helped a bit. maybe theyre too tiny thats what i dont like idk#remember seeinf bandori YEARS ago like ? what is this? anyway#and now look at me. im in the trenches rn. having the time of m ylife#i love sll the bandori characters o smuch ALL of them. ok im done. good bye
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"
#yuu rambles#it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it#concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable#framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does#doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me#but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen#he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke#its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr#normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways#then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone#who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media.#paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol”#those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are#a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride#and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies#it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt#block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily#recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his#video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal#i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first#but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric#i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao#they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on#detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2#im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary#made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror#and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good!#again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far#i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue...#theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head
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on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!
i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave
today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste
but the thing is, if i just
✨owned a microwave✨
i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))
but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse
but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.
but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))
and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today
but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"
thanks mom
#tw eating issues#tw self harm#btw to my irl friends. if you see this no you did not#sorry honey if you see this. cause i know you like my mom and think shes really nice#which she is!! most of the time aha#the hurting myself happened bc i usually have sprinkled cheese on my macaroni and meatballs#but i used all the cheese in the sandwich that i binned#which made me feel like such a fucking idiot and a waste#so i started crying#and i took the metal lid from the boiling macaroni pot and pressed it to me leg for like 10 seconds straight#fun fact: im really good at muffling any sound when im in pain. haha#it didnt feel like enough though. my knife drawer had stuff infront of it but theres a loose screw on my table#so i ripped that across my skin a couple times#some blood came out but not “enough” pain#so then i had the very strong urge to hurt MORE#and intrusively imagined what id be like to take a knife and drive it into my stomach#which was a little shocking cause i havent had THAT thought in a while#AND THEN i remembered i have my swedish final on monday and i have to make a speech and i havent even chosen a topic yet#and that ill have to meet the swedish teacher that is the reason for the only times i have ever cried or cut at school#and then i had another like... daydream hallucination thing about telling my asshole swedish teacher#that the reason i dont have a speech is cause i realised id see him on monday and wanted to kms :3#kinda still feel like cutting and i scratched myself with the sharp screw a bit more but at least venting about this helped a little#yall if i look my teacher in the eyes and tell him he makes me want to kms and that his behavior and attitude HAS made me cut myself#and that i pray to god he treats his own children better than he treats his students#think hed let me skip the test? yes or no?#god i feel so dizzy rn#but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house#wish’s whispers#personal vent#this was a lot of tags aha
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sometimes i think about how whatever my brain does makes me unable/unwilling to return to old media that used to affect me because of the likelihood of it affecting me again
#(sorry theres a lot stuff in the tags)#this is about the thing i call the 'audience' that i dont really talk about much#in which i feel the presence / feel like im being observed by characters#i have to avoid like almost all content of shad/ow and bo/ne because a certain group became part of my 'audience'#and it made me very uncomfortable and honestly i was pissed#dont get me wrong i loved the show and i loved those characters but i need them to stay out of my head y'know?#i want to rewatch fai/ry ta/il because it was a HUGE part of my teenage years but i dont what it to affect my 'audience'#cuz its possible#because i was VERY attached to several of the characters#like theres a chance i can enjoy it passively like most shows i watch now but its really long so the risk is still there#its just that nowadays the feeling's stronger and i think about it more because im alone more and talk to myself more#and i like having some semblance of control over it to preserve my comfort#i can tolerate that one jester entering my audience every now and then as long as he leaves just as quickly (which he does thankfully)#but other characters? no thank you#you are not permitted entry#this used to happen with EVERY movie i watched as a kid#i remember it was quite consistent#it would be almost routine that the characters of a movie i watched with my family would tag along with me for a few days#back then i was confident and whatnot cuz i was a kid so i'd 'show off' or something#like 'ha i did that thing very well i bet they're all in awe right now'#but now im riddled with anxiety. so you can imagine how feeling watched constantly would affect me.#its to the point where i have to have a blanket over me for privacy to do things like write or draw heavily indulgent things#especially if that thing has to do with someone in the audience (you know EXACTLY who this applies to)#thats why i dont do that very often cuz its. inconvenient. and i dont like my devices overheating. under a blanket.#anyways i just wanted to rant about it even if it wont make sense to most of you#bean's random thoughts#all this to say i've gotten very used to only one character (the most special <3) being in my audience and any change throws me for a loop
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need to figure out how to allot time for communications . also meant to make this post like a week ago but we are giving a shoutout to ray for being the only actually fully functional motherfucker in this bitch
#thats super not how the original message was worded bc it was by eithwr ray or luna who has been. hovering recently for#Unknown Reasons#and i dont have it in me to figure out how either of them wouldve worded it. i know there was like three <3 and the word nicies was there#a Number of us are like. Functional Enough. like perhaps Reliant On The Substance or some Less Than Ideal Coping#but its like . you know. risk aware and shit. were chill.#but ray can just ? do stuff ? its scary#she can fire off phonecalls and emails and hold a customer service voice like its NOTHING#.......which in retrospect shes like a travelling merchant so that checks out.#nate.#river.#< something like this.#oh wait i avtuallt have#blur.#also#ray.#luna.#edit:#NO WAIT BUT FR#she sent a text to our caseworker#and i distinctly remember her typing it and then me going “no i wanna delete it and ignore this situation”#and i literally thought i deleted it but apparently she sent it anyway! thank god.#wait shit the blur tag is#???.#i need to fix these tags later lmao
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I ran out of tag space but oomf had some good notes
smthn easy for today (sorry)
#Kronos is the worst dad no. 1#I remember that fic where he made it obviously that Acronix was unwanted until he found out he's the master of time too 💔#<- prev tags#prepare for a whole rant that doesnt make sense from me#its not really a hc BUT in my brain the time twins are the first and only time in ninjago history that a power has been used by two people#so when krux was born first... kronos just assumed he was the only one to get time. this is coupled with the fact hes a faster learner than#acronix. so he was the first one to actually present the power of time. i think nix finally did YEARSSS later but until then he was seen as#a bit of a failure... my son who is very smart and has this strong power ... and then my other child who never listens to me and is weak#(acronix having adhd and being treated like a bad child because he presented undesirable traits... yeah)#and because of this there was quite a bit of animosity between the twins. even though they loved each other. nix was very very jealous of#krux for soooo many things. krux was treated better and it wasnt like it was *his* fault .. they were KIDS !!! but when youre a child angry#at the world... its harder to express that anger to the adult causing you harm vs someone on more equal ground to you. if that makes sense#'i will not yell and scream at my warrior father but i will refuse to play games with my brother' . obvs this didnt last forever but yknow#neither of the brothers were really able to be who they wanted to be. they couldnt really express themselves properly. but krux was always#able to mask better than acronix. so a bigggg part of that jealousy is also misunderstanding. like krux isnt happy either but when youre a#child its hard to clock how others feel. idk. and then after nix was discoveres to be a master of time .. straight to the grooming to be#child soldiers !!! the culture 60 years ago in ninjago was veryyy different. during the serpentine war i imagine most of the elemental#masters to be 20 ish ? some in their 30s but they had been elemental masters for basically MOST of their lives#esp wu and garm... they grew up and had to fight and never really had that time to be kids. which is how i like to imagine the time twins#theres a lot of parallels between those 4 and i want to gif their fight bc i realized that nix kept looking to krux like 'what do we do'#time twins are very codependent on each other. wu and garm rapidly aged when they were separated. etc#dont think nix couldve lasted those 40 years without his brother. krux takes big brother leading the way to the next level#3 minutes apart !!! but you wouldnt be able to tell that bc they act years apart. well prior to them actually being years apart#the way krux was piloting the iron doom and nix was the co pilot. the plan to go back to the past. nix just going along with stuff#hes more prone to stick to a plan krux makes than krux is to stick to a plan nix makes ... which is kinda canon#like how krux sent the snaks to destroy the borg store (veering off the plan) vs nix who kindaaa needs his brothers leadership or he'll die#in my version of s7 krux gets sent to the time vortex and then acronix is the one waiting years and years. ALSO FUCKKK smthn i realized :#wu isnt really one to hold a grudge like that and so i find it interesting that he WAITED for acronix at the monastery#like for morro and aspheera . they came to wu. vs wu who came to acronix to finish what the twins started all those years ago#thinking about how the time twins were heroes at one point. thinking about how the ninja didnt recognize them in the painting. thinking abt
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙“parents” | CS55˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: carlos sainz x fem reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: lots of fluff & play fighting!!! lol not rly much plot tbh
summary: in which your boyfriend's best friend is like a son to you
a/n: i missed writing for my bby carlos🥺🥺🥺 jus a cute casual messy one i love writing fics like this!!
request!!!: could you write a smau where reader and carlos are in a long term relationship (since before he moved to McLaren) and lando is basically their son. just some cute moments between them
my masterlist
fc: various blonde girls from pinterest
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and others
yourusername i made them take me ⛳️
tagged: carlossainz55, landonorris
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user1 oh to be y/n y/l/n
user2 lando's hair lol
landonorris posting this pic of me why?
yourusername what's the issue??
landonorris you know what.
yourusername cheer up mate
landonorris next time i see u 🔪.
carlossainz55 no threats of violence, please
yourusername yea lando 😨
landonorris k.
user3 LOL they love each other really.....??
lilymhe bet you showed the boys up too 👀
yourusername oh you already know
lilymhe that's my girl
carmenmmundt the outfit!!
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user4 the three coffees too. yncarloslando nation rise
landonorris posted a story
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user5 hotttt
user6 carlando crumbs
user7 where's y/n 😊💖🎀✨
user8 CARLANDO❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
user9 do u guys ever do anything else
carlossainz55 no delete this y/n will get mad
yourusername WHY THE HELL DIDNT YOU GUYS INVITE ME
landonorris oh my bad we thought you were busy today
yourusername u horrible liars.
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, and others
lilymhe 😍😍😍 my girl
liked by yourusername
carmenmmundt twit twoooo
liked by yourusername
alexandrasaintmleux wow.
liked by yourusername
landonorris carlos is screaming crying rocking back & forth rn
yourusername boohoo
user10 SOO HOTTT
user11 omg the most gorgeous girl ever
carlossainz55 y/n baby please forgive me wow you are the most beautiful perfect amazing girl in the world
yourusername LOL
yourusername please relax 🥰
lilymhe
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and others
lilymhe a lil week off ✨
tagged: yourusername, alex_albon
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yourusername YAYYYYY miss u already
lilymhe wish i could see u everyday
carlossainz55 back off
lilymhe relax much?
yourusername so protective!!!
user12 this is too cute
user13 yesss a y/n mention
user14 y/n nation rise
user15 aww all my favs omg
alex_albon im last? 🤨
yourusername sucks to suck!
alex_albon evil girl
lilymhe dont fight!! there's enough of me to go round 😊
user16 LOL they are all always fighting!!!
carlossainz55
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and others
carlossainz55 six years 🌹
tagged: yourusername
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user17 6 years already omg i remember when they first got together!!
user18 same 😭 & everyone thought she was a gold digger?? LOL
user19 imagine hahahaha
user20 everyone's fav couple
landonorris mum & dad 🥹
carlossainz55 😂😂😂
yourusername aww!!! our son!!!!
user21 LOLLLL
user22 he's like us
user23 parents fr
lilymhe gorgeous angels!!
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername
charles_leclerc ❤️
liked by carlossainz55
carmenmmundt perfect couple <3
yourusername ilysm
yourmother congratulations guys, come visit soon ❤️
carlossainz55 of course!!! we miss you guys!
yourusername 🥹❤️
yourusername I LOVE YOU!!!! so so so so so so so so much
carlossainz55 i love you so much more my sweet girl
yourusername posted a story
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user24 goals omg
user25 me when
user26 what a problem to have!!!
user27 i want what they have omg......
landonorris u guys are too in love
yourusername make it make sense, lando
alexandrasaintmleux oh you guys make me sick!
yourusername 😝
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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user28 OMGGGGG this makes sm sense
user29 knew u guys would be swifties
user30 i bet carlos loved it
landonorris i wasnt invited?
yourusername be serious
yourusername carlos is laughing at you right now
landonorris okay. can you tell him i miss him please
yourusername 😂 you are obsessed
yourusername
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yourusername xoxo
tagged: carlossainz55
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user31 omggg bf carlos
user32 he's so bf
user33 the third pic 😭😭😭
user34 ME WHENNNNN
francisca.cgomes the jeans?? hello?!?!?! 😍
yourusername hahahah yes you can absolutely borrow them
francisca.cgomes oh ilysm
user35 her eras tour fit🥹💖
user36 carlos is so sexyyyy
liked by yourusername
user37 NOT Y/N LIKING THIS LOL
landonorris mum & dad! 😊
yourusername you don't always have to comment this you know
landonorris can i not be proud of my parents?
carlossainz55 aww! leave him alone y/n
yourusername 🤨
user38 omg lol.
user39 oh how i love u carlando
carlossainz55 posted a story
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and others
user40 CARLANDO
user41 omg we won
user42 my favs fr
user43 y/n is deffo always third wheeling u two
yourusername cute
carlossainz55 is this you pretending not to have fomo?
yourusername …no
carlandofan
liked by user15, yourusername, user33, and others
carlandofan carlos and lando today after the grand prix in spain! :)
tagged: landonorris, carlossainz55
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user44 omg???
user45 in love much
user46 carlando forever 🧡❤️
user47 THIS IS SO CUTE
user48 now kiss
user49 marriage
yourusername HELLO??
carlandofan Y/N?????
user50 OMG what is she doing here
yourusername my husband & my son!!!
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris
carlandofan omg y/n ily 😭
user51 she's so real for this
THE END ❤️
#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#smau#carlos sainz#cs55#carlos sainz blurb#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz smau#f1 blurb#cs55 angst#cs55 smau#cs55 fluff#cs55 imagine#cs55 x reader#cs55 fic#cs55 x you#cs55 x y/n#carlando#carlando smau#carlando fanfic#maddie's smau
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SPIT TO SEE THE SHINE
Vendetta Leon S. Kennedy x reader |18+ MDNI. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, KIDNAPPING, DUB CON, smut, age gap (reader is in 20s, Leon is 37) female reader, abusive relationship, implied alcoholism, stockholm syndrome, creampie, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, use of ‘daddy’ (not a lot), implied erectile disfunction lmao, victim blaming, fingering, implied physical and sexual violence, forced breeding.
Summary: life gets lonelier after 30s, the realization hits harder Leon and the way to cope with it is to get his hands on alcohol… too bad booze tends to encourage him to not be a good man - ending up with a younger girl in his apartment. Maybe it is a grave mistake, but Leon is just a man and who doesn’t make them? notes: uhm, this may be a lil bit self indulgent, sorry for that :3 I DONT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR IN REAL LIFE!!! reblogs, asks and any kind of feedback or interaction are really appreciated! :3
tags: @withonly-sweetheart
Mama has told you not to trust strangers, the concern was referred to the men, but your ears have never held her words for a time longer than a day. Nor did you remember her words when an attractive, older man noticed you and was nice enough to ask you out. That night was supposed to be a little date, giddy and happy jumping into the front seat of his car. That’s the last thing you remember. Eventually, you can not fathom how this happened - the day later your head hurt as you were forced to swallow the hard pill: you got kidnapped by your date.
The first month was insufferable and painful, slowly growing out of your ‘rebellious attitude’ and memorizing his body language like a child in an abusive household. His gaze is everywhere, keeping you locked up in the room when he is not present, a reminder to you that there is no free choice. The food, clothes, and your free time were defined by Leon’s mood and taste which… Liked to swing, creating a mess for you both, not knowing if he was genuinely ashamed of what he had done. You hated him, dreaming about the day when his throat would be sliced, painting your hands with red just to breathe in the air of freedom.
Mama knows best. No, Leon knows best.
Sometimes Leon is mean, without hesitation, sharp words can be thrown at you when he is drunk. Blaming his misery on you. Trying not to be affected by them, not enough to avoid some of them as they cling to your mind - circling as a reminder.
“You deserve this, what did you think a man would want from a woman?”,
“you are better dead”,
“you asked for this”. Did you actually?
Sometimes he is the nicest guy around here. Showering you with tenderness and care, trying to have a normal conversation, but not daring to look into your eyes. Ashamed probably, which was bittersweet and pleasant, but confusing too. Like a couple. You promised yourself to not change the way you feel about him, even if he is sweet. Not like you have a lot of options now.
Certainly, Stockholm syndrome wasn’t going to avoid you, it didn’t take long either. You aren’t special and Leon looked so lonely, returning after work mostly devastated. The expression someone would have had while grieving over something not obtainable. Not even daring to look into your face, ignoring you until his hands do not reach the booze - drinking himself until his mood changes to a handsy one. Physical or sexual. Sometimes both. And Leon is lonely, he told it himself once. Naturally or not, anger has changed to pity, while hate is mixed with something affectionate towards him. You can’t help yourself.
As someone has said - from love to hatred is one step.
So the routine has become clear after a month of staying here, sitting on the floor and watching TV while Leon is behind you. Big brother is watching you - no, Leon is watching you. Drunk or not, monitoring whatever is on the screen is appropriate in his eyes. Not for too long you were concentrating on the blue gleam coming from the screen, illuminating both frames in the living room, now like a natural thing for you both - his fingers end up in your panties to rub your clit in slow and lazy circles. His chest is pressing against your back, focused on your expressions and squirming. His calloused fingertips press harder against your sensitive clit, to hear your voice. Your body is the biggest enemy here - like a Pavlovian dog, reacting to his touch quickly and eagerly. The skin of his fingers is wet and soaked with your slick already, in no time, filling the room with squelching and wet sounds as your moans become harder to keep to yourself. Writhing and trying to shift away, but your body tends to become immobile most of the time - there is no fight or flight, just freeze.
“You look so miserable. It is reassuring, so cute too” In misery, together. His tone is the one someone would use for a dog. Always using that one with you, but you are not a dog. Not like you have any other choices right now, other than taking like a good girl and not lamenting.
If someone would have asked you, Leon is shameless with you, not the one to be shy after a bottle of whiskey, even if he can’t get it up sometimes. His fingers nudge your soaked hole, which aches for his attention. It clenches around nothing, pathetically and you disappointedly whine at the emptiness inside you.
“Come on, open your legs, be a nice girl for Daddy” Leon cooed. His lips brush over your ear, not giving you a chance to do this by yourself - forcing your legs roughly to part wider. “So much better now”
Your hips shift, arching your back as his two fingers intrude into your pussy, curling sweetly inside it to push them at your favorite sweet spot - to enforce more moans at every jolt of pleasure hitting your body. Leon likes that, watching you squirm and open your mouth like a fish desperate for air cause of him. His grip on your jaw is tight, painful even - there are going to be bruises tomorrow and he will be apologizing like a madman.
“Daddy has been so miserable these days too, fucking Redfield is always hassling me.” You don’t know who is that. The sound of his hand fumbling with his belt and the fly of his jeans reach your ears, a loud noise of them falling on the floor. “Can’t even have a vacation, what would you do without me, baby?”
“Ughh…!” you choke on your moans. There is no thought behind your eyes, your entire attention is on your pleasure. Feeling overwhelmed at every thrust of his fingers, writhing in his hold while he is roughly pumping into your drenched hole, an uncomfortable wetness clings to your inner thighs - begging to fuck you already.
“Fuck, I am so sorry, sweetheart, but you are so wet. I can’t. Just the tip, okay? Sorry,” he groans breathlessly, giving hot and quick kisses on the side of your head. Sweet touch. His gaze darkens and his body presses harder against yours, feeling his erection press against your ass. “just… this hole is dripping, and you don’t look like you don’t want it”
You are so close actually, every thrust hitting your sweet spot, curling, and keeping the quick pace of his fingers make you almost drool while focusing on approaching orgasm. Too bad that isn’t on his to-do list. As much as he wants to see you cum, on his fingers or not, - his own pleasure is much more important, especially when his dick is hard. Whiskey dick isn’t so easy to get up these days. His fingers roughly withdraw from your soaked hole with a squelching pop, denying your orgasm. The emptiness returns and your sensitive pussy clenched around nothing again - aching to be filled again.
“So messy,” Leon mutters out, shoving his index and middle fingers in your mouth - forcing you to clean them, your tongue rolls and wraps around them, tasting yourself before he finally pulls them away. “asking for bad things to happen”
You can swear to God this made your clit throb. Wetter than you can ever be, or you are hallucinating, hoping this isn’t the case. Thoughts are quickly brushed aside when his cock is pressed in between your pussy lips, bumping against your aching clit while he rubs himself against your soaked and needy cunt that coats his flesh in your slick, lubing his length in it before he pushed his cock into you - Leon is not really a patient man. Yeah, just the tip, of course. Your velvety walls easily swallow his cock, stretching inch by inch with pleasant pain and letting it slide as he pushed in quick motion until his cock got buried deep inside you. Balls pressed against your flesh, while you can’t help but tightly clench around him, his chest is pressed against your back. Relishing how tight and warm is your pussy, the best and most calming feeling for Leon - to fill you with his cock for his own pleasure. Your hair gets tugged roughly, making your head roll back while Leon starts moving slowly. His cock drags against your walls, pulling out until only a tip remains inside.
“See? Only a tip” Leon mocks you, before slamming back in, bottoming out in one thrust. You whimper and squirm, but his hold on your hair is hard - the only way to keep you under his control. His hips start pounding into you, falling deep into the pleasure connecting your bodies. “Your pussy just feels so good, weren’t you made for this, mmm?”
His movements stutter as his pace slowens when his blue eyes make eye contact with the TV. You didn’t really catch on what was happening until his hand tugged your hair, directing your half-lidded gaze to the point of his interest. The sight of your image on the news, big words on the red background: MISSING PERSON. The former shelf of yourself is staring at you both, smiling brightly - not knowing there is no future for you. The volume is turned off. In this household, it is common knowledge that Leon doesn’t let you watch the news, every time getting agitated and avoiding you even more, when sober, which doesn’t last long after that. The mood swing was quick, every time it was like a loud thunderstorm, his hips make another thrust - cock hits your cervix and forces out a loud moan, involuntarily, when Leon’s cockhead grinds against it.
“This is bullshit, you know?” He hisses into your ear, giving another rough thrust to make you gasp pathetically, as he presses your head against the TV screen. “no one is coming for you. Why? Cause you are forgettable, baby, no one needs you”
“S-stop, Leon” you mumble in between moans and trying to keep yourself aware of what is happening. “T-too much, p-please!”
Your body feels like it is on fire due to the mix of emotions he provokes, your cunt grips his cock tightly while aching for your denied orgasm from before. His hand gives a hard slap on your sensitive clit, making you arch and flinch. Your pussy flutters, gripping him tighter.
“Shhh, I am doing a favor here” he mutters, yanking your head back, forcing you to look at the news while his pounding grew more erratic, intensifying wet and flesh-hitting sounds. His voice is loud in your ears, muffling other sounds, overwhelming as his cock keeps making rough thrusts into you with every word - to punctuate them. “Keeping you here, taking care of useless you that can’t do anything right”
He buries himself deep again, pausing again to relish in the feeling of his cock filling you, while your wet walls engulf him nicely - like a drug, inviting him to stay there and never pull away. Slick drips down your thighs, and his nose brushes behind your ear before nibbling on the soft cartilage. His hand gives another light slap on your pussy, the tightness of your walls almost makes him cum.
“Maybe a baby, what do you think about it, mm?” The idea makes him throb, sliding in and out more erratically. As if he cares about your opinion right now, his fingers tug your hair harder, but his words make you flinch harder. Tears prick behind your eyelids.
“No-no-no. You can’t cum inside, no!” He is not wearing a condom. Bad, too bad. Begging comes out naturally for you now, in between your moans. Fear coats your voice, as the idea sets in quickly - being trapped here cause of an unfortunate kid. “Not the baby! Leon, please! I’ll be good, please!”
“Of course, I can. Shut up. You like this” Leon hisses, keeping your head in a firm hold, so your eyes are set on the old photo. It doesn’t feel right, but you can’t stop yourself from making noises, shifting so Leon would hit a better angle. This somewhat combines with a shame, at every hint of it your mind shoves it away. “You can’t look at yourself, too bad. Dripping even more after my words, like a whore.“
Wanting to cum, focusing more on the pleasure of his dick filling your hole - feels so wrong, but good. Like your body shouldn’t enjoy how Leon’s hips keep pounding into your soaked cunt, hitting the pudgy spot and making you repeat his name like a prayer, but your own mind and body are the biggest enemy, betraying you. His own balls tighten, as a reminder of his so soon approaching orgasm.
“You love me right, baby?” Leon whispers, voice coming out breathy and brushing against your ear shell. His calloused fingers crawl back to your clit, flicking and rubbing it roughly and unsteadily. Trying to keep the feeling of that warm tightness sucking in his cock.
“I love you, Leon, o-oh!” you hum, nibbling on the lower lip and arching, letting more noises when his dick hits your sweet spot so sloppily and messy now, chasing his orgasm. And him circling your clit with his calloused fingertips makes your legs tremble - so close to tripping and falling flat on the floor. This makes your mind fuzzy, shoving away the fear of being pregnant. Leon is nice, right? Nice enough to push you against the cold screen of the TV, it doesn’t have its use anymore. That photo faded with the news, after all. “I love you, love you,”
Your voice comes out shaky and high-pitched now. His eyes are set on your disheveled look, with light traces of tears as you repeat the confession erratically, filling his mind with them. Making this normal, you love him, so he can allow himself to not feel so guilty, right? With a final and rough thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, giving chaste and soft kisses to the back of your head. Your body shudders eventually too, your walls spasm harder around him as the hard feeling of orgasm hits you, pleasant shockwaves dumb every bad thought in the head. His cock throbbed, letting a loud groan and finally spurting ropes of cum into you while keeping messy circles on your sensitive clit, prolonging your orgasm and making you more overwhelmed with every flick. The warm essence fills your hole, Leon pulls out his softening cock with a wet pop, watching how his sperm slowly oozes out from your pussy. His mind is light, the hint of booze keeps guilt from emerging.
Words of love don’t feel like a complete lie now, as pleasant memories overwhelm the bad ones. They become almost an empty spot in the back of your mind, leaving only a foggy feeling of hate and dread. And your brain is weak for the bliss, hammering every moment deep in you - craving for more. Hate won’t bring you out of this, maybe affection will. Your hand grips weakly his wrist, you won’t be able to bear the loneliness after sex tonight.
“Don’t leave me” Your mouth is quicker than your mind, not processing anything right now. Leon breaks out in a weak smile, but his gaze isn’t capable of keeping eye contact right now. Still, he scoops you in his arms without a second thought. Remaining silent, feeling your weak body in his hold he can’t help but pepper chaste kisses on your forehead. Trying to prolong the sweet and guiltless moment for you both.
You should have known better than to accept that date with him.
#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#vendetta leon#resident evil smut#leon kennedy fanfic#resident evil#leon x reader#resident evil x reader#resident evil x you#re fanfic#resident evil fanfiction#leon s kennedy smut#leon s kennedy fanfic
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