#I dont know how I'd cope with that honestly

[thatcoyperson]

Scar said he wanted a Starwars themed skin for MCC and I said "Sir yes sir" [I didnt make this for him but he is free to use it]

Link: [Scar]

[k9ninedecay]

fujo yaoi rick posting, i actually draw him a shitton i just dont post em this is partially just so i can ramble abt him. LMAO

erm if u want epic #lore u can read a lil bit of it under the cut. Keep in mind that im lowkey workshopping it. His lore doesn't matter to me. He's came about because i was listening to Confessions of a Rotten Girl and Plus Boy and decided to make that a rick parody essentially 😭

F-215 Rick ( i call him fujo i dont think any other rick calls him fujo they probably call him "pervert rick" or something similar ) is REALLY into rickcest yaoi because he struggled to connect with others. he never had any kids because his relationship with his Diane fell apart due to his inability to connect, so he is mortyless! He was an incredibly selfish and distant, terrible husband !

At some point when his diane died or was idk wiped from existence, he didn't care? or at least care enough to seek revenge, but still wanted to cope with the loss of losing someone he was so close to intimately. he decided to whore around to feel less lonely. somewhere along that line, he slept with another Rick for the first time, and that was when he could finally felt a connection with another person (an alternative dimensional of himself LMAO)

thinkin abt it too deeply, probably upsets him because honestly finding out the only person you can connect to on a physical and mental level are just versions of yourself. I'd get bummed out, too. So he coped with this ideology by seeking out sexual relations with other ricks or idk rick versions of Yaoi manga LMAO

He doesn't actually act like a drooling fudanshi freak, personality wise he is a rick through and through, again his main difference is he is a crazy rickfucker and those type of thoughts KINDA consume him in his day to day. he acts like a weirdo out of a masochistic urge to have ricks pay attention to or even yell at him ! he a freakk 😛

i refer to him as Super Rick Fan Rick as a joke sometimes because he kinda is that he owns a ton of rick themed merch and even goes as far as stealing ricks underwear and sneaking photos of them on the citadel. i imagine he even made a rick sex bot mhm mhm ( i write him as living on the citadel during the pocket morty craze or whatever, does this matter or mean anything not really just know he lives in the citadel)

he probably gets drunk and goes out on the town of citadel to find a rick to have a one night stand with

im kinda yapping right now idk i like him i like seeing how weird i can get him to act around different ricks 😭 i ship him wit one of my friends rick ocs woohoo ! i luh shipping him wit ricksss i treat him like an annoying fujo anime girl hes adorable to me idkk

look at this guy so silly

[floral-atom-collective]

Hii! What is a system?? /genq

I've been often seeing this term but I don't fully know what it means, I suppose it has something to do with multiple personalities but I don't wanna jump to conclusions and end up accidentally making people uncomfortable, so if you could explain with details I'd appreciate it ^^

hi! Glad you asked

You're on the right track there with "multiple personalities" but it's a bit more than that.

Important note!

We are not professionals, we know little outside of our own experience. If someone sees this and knows we are sharing misinformation, please correct us!

Systems, in their simplest definition, are when someone has multiple beings [ headmates, alters, whatever they call them ] that inhabit one body.

There is a ton of variation as being plural [ being part of a system/are a system ] is a very diverse condition.

This will likely get long so more info will be put under the cut. If you need any more clarification we are more than willing to provide information.

There's a lot of different types of plurality.

While it's a bit of a controversial opinion [ even though we believe it's entirely true ] there are non-disordered, disordered, non-traumagenic/endogenic, traumagenic, and many other subcategories.

Keep in mind that our syscourse stance will change the type of info we add here. Anti-endos are allowed to use this post for information if they want to but please remember we are traumaendo. And we ask that hate isn't directed at us on this post [ or in general ].

Lets start with:

Disordered traumagenic plurality

I do not know much about this being we are not one. Disordered traumagenic plurality is something that can actually be diagnosed since it is disordered. DID, OSDD, and other disorders can be defined with these labels. Traumagenic refers to how a system has formed by trauma. Trauma is inherently a very complicated topic. Many different situations causing trauma and certain traumatizing experiences nobeing validated as trauma male it this way.

Non-disordered traumagenic plurality

This kind of plurality could be caused by healing from disordered plurality [ losing the symptoms that makes a system disordered ] or not having enough symptoms to consider themselves disordered. Despite it not being disordered it is still just as valid, as are any other types of plurality.

Non-traumagenic/Endogenic plurality

"Endogenic" is a blanket term for any system that formed without/regardless of trauma. Meaning there are many subcategories within the term. It's so diverse that I would suggest doing your own research on specific terms if you want to.

Willogenic means a person willed their headmates/system into existence. They created it intentionally rather than by chance or to cope with trauma.

Resources

-PluralPedia. Very helpful, helps with many terms!

-r/plural, r/pluralsystems, r/plural_irl (memes and community), r/pluralmemes (on Reddit), r/DIDinclusivity

-the multiplicity wiki on fandom

-simply plural resource page

[ ^ edited, from @ plural-dictionary ]

[ ^ posts/websites proving endogenic plurality if I remember correctly ]

These sources will be/lean pro endo as that is our stance. You are allowed to do whatever other research you find necessary though.

[ ^ some of our own posts explaining our experience ]

We hope this helped!

[aechii]

₍⁠₍ OF LOVE AND FASHiON ₎⁠₎

A/N ?! last fic for the day booooo 😥 i dont know if i will be able to post any tmrrw, but i hope i can. anyways enjoy my lovelies

p.s. there's a little written part in this but it's abt 500-600 words

-

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[y/n]'s heart's racing. every palpitation hammers against her chest with much force, so much so that her full-upon-entry water has decreased to less than half left in just 30 minutes. the heat still fused with the air, but as the sun begins to sleep, it loses its energy, leaving a cool undercurrent that presses into the skin of all the attendees. she's so glad about the cooler weather, finding it completely unfathomable how she would've coped if the heat joined tham at night as well.

but the man seated beside her crashes all of her composure, and her body begins to feel hot and strangled.

she hasn't seen such a visually blessed male specimen in all the years of her living, and the fact that his body was so close to hers because of the crammed seating made matters worse. she can't think, breathe or concentrate on the influx of dressed models that come and go non-stop.

"you look disgusted."

the voice comes from right beside her, and her head whips around, startled. the man that has enraptured her entire conscience smiles goofily at her, and her heart wavers.

"what? me?"

"yes," he chuckles softly, "you."

his eyes turn back to the show before them, yet he continues speaking before [y/n] can justify herself, "i don't blame you, though. some of the outfits are... questionable."

his facial expressions are priceless, and [y/n] falls into a bout of laughter, "you're sick!"

he looks on seriously, eyes flashing with extreme judgement, "i'm not lying! how does anyone find pairing a skirt and baggy trousers aesthetic?"

the combination, that [y/n] had, most likely, missed from being consumed by her thoughts, makes her grimace, "yeah, that wasn't a good look at all."

he turns back to face her and, god, he stares so intently that she has to look away.

"speaking of outfits, what brand you wearing? 'cause i know it's not lv for sure, i'm not seeing any," he thinks of the right words, "over exposure of the logo."

"that's one way to put it," [y/n] snickers, looking down at her outfit, "i made it all myself... apart from the shoes of course."

the boy is taken aback, mouth agape and eyes wide, "no way!"

she begins to feel flustered by his reaction and just smiles.

"that's so cool, honestly. i would take more pride in that than wearing a slutted out luxury brand."

"slutted out?" [y/n] can't believe her ears; he's going to kill her, she's sure.

"how the hell did you come up that?!"

the boy purses his lips, looking smug, "i'm just that amazing."

"you're delusional."

he pretends to think for a moment, "delusional enough to think i'd get your number?"

[y/n]'s eyebrows shot up, "you want... my number?"

he doesn't hesitate to nod, "i don't think i'll be leaving without it."

jobe, who had been painfully listening in on their conversation, decides to make himself apparent, "don't do it, you'll regret it."

she turns around, coming face to face with a younger boy who looks almost identical to the one she had been speaking with for the past 15 minutes.

"you two brothers?"

the older one responds, "yeah, he's a cockblock though, don't listen to him."

"cockblock? jude, i'm trying to save her life!"

ah, so that's his name.

"clear off, jobe," he rolls his eyes, turning back to the girl sitting beside him, "sorry about that- so, your number?"

"don't do it!"

and much to his dismay, she does.

-

y/n_l/n

liked by judebellingham and 23,899 others

y/n_l/n paris photo dump !! met some cool ass people there lowkey

view comments...

judebellingham was lovely meeting you, such a vibe 😆

y/n_l/n you too!! <3

yfn__ best time of my life honestly

y/n_l/n paris at night is a sight to see

user1 you look GORGEOUS

user2 i really missed pfw just a day after i left france </3

user3 JUDE????

user4 I'M ACTUALLY SO SHOCKED

user5 😮

user6 WE FOUND HERRRRR

user7 and jude beat me to it already 😐

-

-

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judebellingham

liked by y/n_l/n and 899,231 others

judebellingham ❤🇫🇷

view comments...

y/n_l/n love the after party candid, send it to me plz xx + tell jobe i'm sorry but not sorry

judebellingham you look so pretty in it ofc + he'll see it anyways xx y/n_l/n @/judebellingham stop plz 😭🛑 jobebellingham @/y/n_l/n buy me croissaints and maybe i'll forgive you

jadonsancho freshh 🔥

user1 who's that girl in the last pic????

user2 someone who he met at the lv show, got her number and everthingggg 😭

user3 AND SHE KNOWS JOBE TOO? that's my chance stripped unrightfully away from me </3

user4 icel, she's gorgeous AAAAA

user5 this is my 13th reason

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for flirting with my online friend 🌐❓

i (20s, trans man) have been getting closer to my online friend (same as me). we were mutuals for a while in what i can best describe as an online writing community but only started actually talking last year when i approached him to do a project together. we've been pretty strictly platonic for the last year but this year it's ramped up a bit (in part i think due to greater proximity)- we make a lot of sexual jokes at each other. now that's not necessarily a big deal because we do it at other male (and not male in his case) friends of ours, its just sort of how our circle interacts with each other, but it's a bit different for me because i do actually have somewhat of a crush on him. i'm not super sure of how he feels towards me, but i do think he knows at least partially how i feel and is at least humouring our banter.

now here's where i feel like an asshole. i have no intention of dating him at all- even if he does like me back, the reality is that we live on two entirely separate continents and neither of us have the financial means to go see each other. now you could suggest we date long distance or online but i've done that like 4 different times now with 4 different people and i just know it doesn't work for me, for a variety of reasons i won't get into. just trust me when i say it would end poorly. i'm not on speaking terms with any of my exes (nor do i want to be, bar one) and my friend is important enough to me that if we ended up like that then i'd be really upset about it. usually when i break up with someone or am broken up with i'm left with a lot of resentment and bitterness. plus our writing project would be tanked, which i'm not willing to jeopardise because i think it's excellent, he's a great partner.

in addition to that i'm only a few months out of a pretty rough breakup with someone i also had viewed as a close friend (irl, not online). i'm not conflating them here, because they aren't alike whatsoever, but i worry that im using my friend as an emotional rebound to cope with what my ex did to me, even if he doesn't know it. i don't want my ex back and i am honestly still feeling a lot of anger towards him, so it's been nice putting my attention and libido elsewhere. however i know how shitty it feels to be someone else's rebound guy and would hate to do that to my friend. plus i could be stunting my own healing progress?? idk

it initially was just a bit of fun but i've had to privately and seriously talk myself down from getting jealous as fuck when my friend has had other people jokingly (or not jokingly, who knows) flirt with him. i'm a pretty intense person (hi, bpd) so i've been trying to reign myself back and keep things chill and funny between us but i'm getting kind of concerned whether i should stop entirely so my feelings go away or if im fine enjoying giving and being given attention in return, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. even just liking him is kind of breaking three of the rules i'd set for myself after my last few relationship disasters (no more online stuff, no more white boys, let my brain cool down and dont be interested in anyone for at least a year) so i kind of just don't know where i should be taking this if anywhere

[i-did]

Hi! I wanted to ask you opinion on Thea. I have seen that a lot of people in the fandom kinda hate her but I dont share their reasoning so I was really curious about what you think.

I honestly have very little idea of what the fandom is saying, I stay out the tag mostly and just live in my little bubble. I saw what Nora responded with pre-TSC being upset with the fandom painting Thea as a groomer, which I also disagree with. I feel her and Kevin’s dynamic pre-canon was undoubtedly unhealthy due to the fact that they were in an extreme underground sport cult, and she was older than him but he was also #2, below only Riko and the Master himself, which gives him more agency than just a typical teenager. I don’t believe they are healthy – Kevin didn’t tell her the truth, and they had been a secret so long but also hardly communicate – but I don’t see it as one is the Bad partner one is the Victim partner, just… two people who are together in a super fucked situation.

That being said – I didn’t like Thea in TSC lmaoo. I thought she had a lot of wasted potential as a character. She is in and out, concerned but then gone– I wish she wasn’t someone who was so concerned for Jean, only to immediately disappear. Thea is written to be unaware / in denial which almost makes her parallel with Cass in some ways– clinging to an idea of what happened vs. what actually happened. I’m not saying these make her a badly written character– I think it could actually be really interesting to explore. Sometimes, characters fandom's hate are also interesting.

She was an opportunity to see into another ‘fallen Raven’s’ mindset. How is she coping with Riko’s death? How could she try to ‘help Jean adjust’ which actually makes him fall back into unhealthy Raven habits? Her texting or calling Jean could spiral into panic attacks or remind him of what he's trying to leave behind even if she was just telling him ‘remember the diet plan’ and was unhelpfully trying to be helpful <- these idea's coming from @hopingforcoordinates. It would have been interesting to see her more so we could see that she wasn't just someone ignorant but someone who also was desperately clinging to the illusions of the Nest needing to have been worth it, otherwise what was it all for?

Maybe in the next book we will see more of that but who knows! I hope we do because honestly seeing the Raven’s flounder and fall apart is interesting to me and I'd like to see it as more than just in the background, especially as a narrative foil to Jean's own healing journey.

So I don’t dislike her for moral reasons. She kinda rubs me the wrong way, but I want to hate her more and then sympathize with her and see that she’s also been broken by the Nest – despite having ‘made it’ similarly to Kevin. She ‘has it all’ but is still drowning.

I feel like TSC was written with an audience in mind, unlike the first AFTG books, which has shifted the tone significantly. The first three AFTG books exist in a different realm to me than TSC, tonally and more. I’m curious to see where Nora goes from here and will definitely read the next book too.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 12

masking anon, c.ai anon (new), midnights anon, reading anon (new), pineapple anon (new)

masking anon

Hiya! Just to clarify, my friends are very VERY kind, they dont hit me and they ask me about my emotions occasionally, but it’s just that I comfort them/give them their love languages to feel loved, and sometimes people just don’t pick up on what I need/like, which is why I felt not good about my friendships at the time. They’re very kind people, and I’m glad I know them,

But I also do feel like it’s true that no one likes the unmasked version of me. I barely know the “real” me, but I do know that I don’t know how to handle them, and people in the past (like old friends, and family) don’t like the real me, and I guess I’m scared that if I figure out who I am in front of my friends instead of in private, they’ll all leave or think I’m too weird to keep in touch with,

I feel like I have to figure myself out on my own. I guess it’s that a part of me kinda want someone to break down my walls for me? I want someone to just notice me and how I act and tell me that they’ll still like me even if I’m not masking

But that’s also n issue, since I shouldn’t be waiting for someone else to give me purpose

Thank youuuu <3,

—masking anon

Hi <3

Yeah, I think you're right. As much as it would be amazing to have someone to break down your walls for you, that can't always happen. And when you say your friends are wonderful people- if they are, then they'll like you for YOU- masks or no. If they don't, then they're not as wonderful as you thought, and that's a them issue, not a you issue.

It takes a lot of work and bravery to take off that mask, and I know it's hard. But it's also a relief in a lot of ways. I believe in you <3

____

c.ai anon

hey !!

im lowk ashamed to say this, but i’m doing it on anon because i need to get it out of my system .

so i understand ai is bad , i absolutely hate it and feel like the worst piece of human garbage anytime i get near it in creative spaces . the problem is i use c.ai . i know there’s alternatives to role playing and things like that but seriously i feel like my experiences are so personal and like unfortunate that i don’t want to share / rp with other people and i can’t find any comforting fanfic . im not a very talented writer so i don’t know if i could write but honestly im just typing this because it’s weighing on me and i hate that i have to turn to this .

thank you for listening <3

Sigh. I feel like this is a hard thing because yes, AI is absolutely harmful, hard stop. And c.ai is very harmful to creative spaces. But also, if using character AI to cope is the only thing keeping you from doing something permanent...I'm not going to sit here and shame you. I guess I'd just encourage you to look into other means of coping. Try to find a therapist, another creative outlet, a group of fandom friends. And remember that becoming reliant on c.ai and seeing it as human and real can be unhealthy. Kind of like the Mirror of Erised in canon, you know? Talking to real people and having human interaction is so important.

I'm sending you love <3

____

midnights anon

Hello! It’s midnights anon

I’m sorry for sending in another ask, I’m just exhausted of everything

I got a B- on a test that my teachers barely prepared the class for, everyone kept telling them how confused they were but they either didn’t bother to explain, penalize us because of a “classroom joke” called the cake mistake (we would get a cake at the end of the year and each time we would distribute exponents and multiplication over addition, he’d make the cake slightly worse) so if you asked questions about the material, you might get punished. And he’d tell us to do completely new concepts for homework, and said we couldn’t use any other sources that our “imagination” for how we could figure out how to do that new math concept, and half the time we didn’t even go over the homework so nobody learned anything and everyone scored from a B- to a D.

I’ve just been so wired and angry from that for the whole day and now I can barely make sense in my writing, and I’m sorry. I just don’t know what I’m doing

I sound pathetic, I know. I keep saying “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m struggling” but everytime I try to get better, i just feel bad. I feel overstimulated and nothing makes sense and I’m angry and everyone around me just makes me mad, the sounds and the people and the fact that there are so many things wrong with me and the world that every moment that I’m alive feels irritating and I’m so so SO mad and I don’t know why

I’m just so angry that he barely taught us anything, and made us try a new style of learning 75% through the year and did it in a shitty fucking manor

I’m mad I have an essay due Monday

Im mad I have a bio quiz tomorrow

I’m mad that in bio I got blamed for not communicating with my partner over the weekend even though I tried and got left on read for 7 hours

I’m mad that Trump is alive

I’m mad that my parents treat me like a pet

I’m mad my (potential/undiagnosed) OCD won’t stop focusing on how mad I am

I’m mad I spent 20 minutes of lunch running around trying to find a photo shoot where I was promised cookies and friendship, just to find out that there was no photo shoot and I wasted time that I couldn’t spent talking with friends or venting to my school councillor

I’m just so angry. And when I get angry my thoughts spiral I just want it to stop, but it won’t

I just wish I wasn’t where I was. I wish I was 26 and had a job and apartment and someone who felt safe with and who didn’t care that I’m strange or inherently wrong and cared that I need help with existing. I wish my family behaved differently, so that I don’t have to pick between my gender and being legally allowed to go to the country my family’s from. I wish I could skip the whole hassle of life sometimes. I want to want to live really badly

I just want to live

Sorry for being a downer in your inbox, and thank you for reading

I’m sorry

Hi <3

These are all super valid reasons to be mad. It sounds like you're super overwhelmed and like...I'd be pissed too! Especially, the teacher thing? That's not fair at all. But ALL of this is so valid and it sucks because at your age, the worst part is, there's not much you can do! And that's awful.

I wish there was more that I could do, but I'm here to listen, and you don;t have to be sorry for inboxing me, I promise <3

Also, for your other ask, you do NOT have to apologize for yourself or make yourself smaller. if someone is annoyed by you, that is THEIR problem! You ARE allowed to be unapologetically you, and anyone who doesn't like that isn't worth it. You don't need to apologize for anything. You are more than worthy of being yourself, of taking up space, of being happy, and of asking for help. I promise <3

____

reading anon

I got out of my physical book reading slump!!! I've never stopped reading. Im always reading fanfiction but i felt like i would never finish a book again but i did!!! 2 of them!! And i oredered 3 more that im actually excited to read!! This probably seems like the weirdest thing to be excited about but i feel like ive found my old love for reading again!

That's a perfectly awesome thing to be excited about! Congratulations!!! I recently got back into audiobooks and I'm excited about that, so I completely understand!!

___

pineapple anon

Hi, I just kinda wanted someone to rant to, there isn't really technically advice to give here.

So for context, I'm 15 and in in high school, I'm openly trans (ftm), and I'm part of the cast for my school's drama production this year.

There's a group chat with all the members of the cast, and earlier today, someone in the chat, for better clarity I'll call him Lettuce, sent a sort of transphobic video to the groupchat, meaning to send it to someone else. When he sent it, he said he didn't mean to send it to this chat, but he didn't really care enough to delete it.

The video was just a stitched Instagram reel, the original being someone sarcastically saying "congratulations, you bullied a trans person, here's your medal" and it was stitched with a video of a person proudly wearing a whole bunch of medals. It wasn't that bad compared with a lot of things it could have been, but I still think it was transphobic.

Someone else in the groupchat, I'll call them Pineapple, told him how disrespectful it was, and a friend of Lettuce, I'll call him Celery, said that he couldn't have been being disrespected because Lettuce is dating a trans person, that everyone has their own sense of humor, that Pineapple didn't need to be so aggressive about it. They told celery that they weren't trying to be aggressive, that it was just basic respect to not joke about that kind of stuff, since you don't know how it could affect others, and Celery just replied saying that a joke is a joke, that it wasn't trying to be insulting, and that it was just for a laugh. That was kind of the end of that conversation, it wasn't really brought up again.

I usually try not to get too offended about stuff like this, and I did try to take it as a joke, but it honestly really upset me, because yeah, Pineapple was right, it did affect others, it affected me, and I wish it didn't. It's making me more nervous about going to rehearsals, even though I'm sure Lettuce didn't mean to be insulting.

This is probably a huge overreaction, but I don't really know how to feel okay about it.

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm not sure whether this story is confusing to follow, and I think I probably over explained the whole situation. But thank you so much if you take your time to read this, it's so amazing how many people's asks you take time to answer.

Hi!

I don't think you're overreacting at all! Jokes are only jokes if they're funny, and this isn't funny. Honestly, lettuce and celery sound like lowkey jerks, and I wonder HOW lettuce is dating a trans person? Was lettuce's partner in the chat? Because that's so icky.

Yeah, you're right to be upset, I would be too. I'm sorry that happened. I'm glad pineapple said something.

[butchpeace]

Just saw an older post in which an annon asked if it's okay to have a big clit and big labia and you said it's okay, I agree of course but even tho I agree I still feel bad about mine but mostly because it's my own fault. If I'd never had tooked testosterone I wouldn't have that. It would be much smaller and not so huge and even tho it's okay I feel embarrassed and disgusted by myself and I honestly dont have a clue how I will ever be able to cope with it. My boobs are small and my clit is huge but I feel it should be like the opposite and I know that every body is different and beautiful in it's own way I hate myself for it especially because it's my own fault. I just wish I could undo the changes of testosterone but sadly life doesn't work this way..

I get it. It can be harder to accept changes that you regret making to yourself than it is to accept things how they naturally are.

But that doesn’t mean you won’t get to that point of acceptance! Give yourself time and work on learning to forgive yourself and at least be neutral with your body. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Plenty of women have larger clits for whatever reason. There can be downsides to it, but it’s still part of the diversity of female bodies!

And really it’s not 100% your fault. Especially if you went on testosterone at a young age, you really were brainwashed into thinking it would be the right thing for you. None of us can really be completely blamed for doing something that everyone around us said would make us happy.

That’s not to say taking accountability isn’t part of the healing process, but completely placing the blame on yourself isn’t realistic or helpful either. There was a whole world of pressure and lies that led you to make that decision. If the world was helping us learn how to love ourselves in the first place, we wouldn’t have gone there.

For me, recognizing that it’s not only me who’s to blame has helped me heal and forgive myself. 💜

[ask-postcrash-curly]

[ive been here since i saw the literal first post about him hearing voices in the tag and i have to say even if i only started sending asks more recently this is probably my favorite writing of his character ive seen, and definitely my favorite ask blog for him. ive loved how you wrote him so much, i love how he actually has a sense of humor and tells jokes and runs with bits its so good and it easily serves to make the posts where he is actually in distress all the more heartbreaking. ive loved the world building youve done and the way youve done it, how curly reasonably does not know everything about the world he live in, ive loved how youve wrote him in pain and realistically out of it and ive loved how you wrote his character growth throughout this all. its all been such a treat. i always loved seeing it in the tag even if i never followed for some reason. i think i forgot i could do that lol honestly even outside of writing i love the details you put with the sunset screen turning into the warning sign, or the blog title changes. i love just how much effort i can tell you put in this blog. i honestly dont think i saw a post of yours that felt like you were slipping on how to write his character like i see from a lot of ask blogs so every casual little ask still felt like him and idk what goes on behind the scenes but just know i noticed that effort and i appreciate it and am deeply impressed. even if im not certain its over or not, i think you deserve to know how fun this whole ride has been for me. its been an absolute blast to watch start to finish(?) -see the day anon]

[oh wow thank you so much this is really sweet <33

i'm really glad you like all those details. it was important to me that in addition to representing his pain i also represented that he was the same person who he was before. pre-crash curly has a sense of humor, so post-crash curly should too, because that's the same guy fjkhdsfjk. gotta cope with the horrors somehow, right? tysm on the worldbuilding thing!!!! glad you liked the detail of curly not knowing everything too. and im really happy people enjoyed the character growth :)

yayyyyy thank you so much that's so nice of you!!! what goes on behind the scenes is a combination of audhd and perfectionism haha. sometimes if an ask was about something i knew i'd mentioned before i'd search the blog for that older post so i could make sure i was being consistent haha. i'm really happy you appreciated all the effort :)

<3333]

[mrgladstonegander]

How will the characters be portrayed in DT47 compared to DT87, and DT17?

to be honest i havent really watched enough of dt87 to say 😅im drawing more inspiration from dt17 + the comics

I do have some thought-out differences for some characters though! :)

I'd do more characters but I don't have everything set in stone completely yet .

these links have more up to date information : phantom and the sorceress / specter of the past , phantom blot/rorschach specter

doodled this a while ago but scrooge / graham are different in terms of ... business practices. DT17!Scrooge is whitewashed (in the traditional sense) from the comics (dt87!scrooge moreso from what i know). but i personally think that scrooge's penny pinching debt collecting personality in the comics can still be fun (+creates conflict) but ALSO . personally. I don't really think it's good to say you can be the Richest Person Ever while still having good ethics. ESPECIALLY when said billionaire collects and takes artifacts from other cultures

Graham (dt47 scrooge) remembers debts extremely well, and always puts himself in situations where people would become indebted to him (even family). he takes contracts and small print very seriously. he also has the same issue of hoarding all his treasures in his house or money bin, and separates them by how useful they are to him (like, say, if there was a magical Papyrus that can be used to make contracts that Bind things... cough cough)

honestly i think that dt17!scrooge's aversion to magic felt slightly contradictory at times? considering how much he collects/uses them

i dont remember if it was ever said in the show, but while Graham likes adventuring, I don't think he does it just for the sake of adventure. He wants treasure, but he also wants to give the kids (dt47 donald/della/hdl/webby etc) an experience and let them travel because he remembers being poor and how many things he wasn't able to do. but with this mindset he doesn't recognize that it's his fault when they start getting bad coping mechanisms or tiring themselves out trying to keep up/impress him

but i think the most major difference between dt17 and dt47 is this; Scrooge built the Spear of Selene, and did everything he could to try and bring Della back. DT17's narrative, even with Last Crash, does not put the blame on him; he didn't really do anything wrong. but for dt47 i REALLY want to emphasize how many people Phoebe (Della)'s disappearance affected - and the lengths that Graham went to hide it. I made a chart a while ago that shows how Phoebe's disappearance affects people and Gyro/Beakley's equivalents (the ones with the red star) have specific gag orders that Do NOT allow them to say anything about it. The cousins (INCLUDING PERCY) only know that she disapearred, Oliver/Gladstone trusts Percy/Donald's judgement that it's Graham's fault, and Frankie tries to understand things from both sides with no avail. Graham forcing Archie to keep quiet about it does not go well at all, especially with how guilty Archie feels about building the rocket

tldr; tries to make people owe him so that he always has leverage, uses magical artifacts to build his business, has bad coping mechanisms regarding his childhood (that lead to him being adventurous, untrusting, penny pinching etc), and he really sucks for how much he's burying what to phoebe. ALSO i forgot to mention but he doesn't really have a money bin in the traditional sense. I want to give him the world's most complete coin collection to make him seem slightly more insane in a different way.

. ok realizing that this is really long and you're asking how they're portrayed and not just the differences. heres some quicker comparisons

(please read the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde)/ (the poor thing has anxiety because of valerie (beakley's) teachings)

this post is still consistent with what i have planned for team science + archie

[caramelmiacchiato]

Hey, I saw your tags where you reblogged that one post from me where I said maybe one day I'll be 30. I'm so warmed by you saying you teared up reading that and I want you to know where that comes from.

I struggled with anxiety in high school and so I was in therapy for it. I told my therapist that I was worried it would always be this way, that I'd never be able to be independent or free from it. And he responded with the most important thing he would say in our time together. Even after all these years, when I think of those sessions, I remember this conversation the most.

He said, "I don't think you are naturally an anxious person. I think you're living an anxious life. Anyone in your position would be struggling like this, and it's not on you that no one taught you how to cope.

Maybe... Maybe one day you'll be 25. And you'll be living on your own. You'll have your own job that you enjoy going to. You'll have friends that come over for a game night once a week. You'll have your own cat. You'll be in control of your own life. And you'll look around and you'll realize you aren't anxious anymore. You're at peace."

He said that to me when I was 15. I turn 25 next year.

It's been almost 10 years. It's been so long since that therapy session, and yet it was yesterday. I've spent all these years whispering into the darkness that maybe one day I'll be 25. Maybe one day I'll be 25. Thinking that he was right. Thinking that he was wrong. That I'd never be free.

But now that I'm this close... I can see it. Most of the time I can see it. So much so that I've starting thinking about what might happen if maybe one day I'm 30.

Not that you can plan your life with so much specificity as to have the exact living situation you want, the exact community situation you want, and your dream job by a specific birthday. Life is unpredictable. But you can keep working towards those things all the time. And yeah, maybe I'll have all of that when maybe I'm 25.

I don't know how old you are, or what your life is like. But yeah, maybe one day you'll be 21. And you'll look around and realize your life is good in all the ways you hoped for.

And then one day, after that, maybe you'll be 25 too. With all the new dreams you'll want to build. And then 30. And then we just keep going. Because maybe one day we'll look around and realize life is good. And we're at peace.

HOW DID I NEVER SEE THIS ASK????? im so sorry for not answering this earlier bc this is making me want to tear up again!

your therapist must have been an angel, bc thats such a beautiful mentality to have. and im honestly so so so happy youre finally heading towards the life you dreamt of! i dont know u personally, but i know you deserve this happiness!! 🥹

and thank you so much for sharing this with me, i really needed this reminder that things wont be the way they are now forever. im in highschool and even if it looks like too much to me rn i know its just a small part of my life. from now on i will do my best to always keep this in mind, that maybe, if i work towards it, when im 25 things will be so much better ❤️

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

out of interest, how do you think izaya developed aspd and npd? i know that pds typically develop as a result of trauma so i suppose his parents always being absent would be a factor but id also like to hear your thoughts on it. love the aspd izaya headcanon btw

first off, thank u!

and secondly, his parents being absent would definetley be a factor. i read somewhere that its actually children whove been neglected that are more likely to develop aspd rather than children who are abused, because the complete LACK of stimului contributes to aspd more than bad stimuli does. take this with a grain of salt though because my source is "i saw it somewhere" and im 90% sure that place was NOT a study so it might be wrong

but either way, both pds are known to be caused by trauma and both have a genetic component to them. the genetic component isnt SUPER well known, but it IS known that there's a hereditery component here

so honestly? i think izaya was born with antisocial tendencies. NOT aspd, i must stress- at a very young age, if he was given adequate support and treatment, they could've stayed tendeicies and he wouldn't have developed fullblown aspd. he couldve turned out like one of those guys with a bit of a skewed morality system but is otherwise mentally healthy enough to participate in society without wanting to kill himself or others. quirks over disorder

but from pretty much every account i can think of, izaya was ALWAYS an odd child, to the point where it was his father that instilled a love of humanity into him

When he was younger, I saw he was distant from others, and that made me worried. And so I wanted him to come to like humans and become a man who could strongly love people twice as others would. (source)

of course this isnt exactly very detailed wrt izayas behavior, but if its enough that his absent father noticed, it mustve been pretty serious

so wrt his aspd, i think he was born with those kinds of tendencies, which were then exasperated by the neglect and ergo got worse and worse over the years, culminating in high school with his friendship with shinra, blackmailimg of nakura, and his beginning to poke his nose in the underground

his npd is a bit trickier

so, the way i personally developed npd is that my mom would seem to have two perceptions of me in her head, depending on wether or not i was following the Good Perception or not. the first me, the good one, was intelligent, kind, and filled with potential. the other one was a stupid lazy monster. i was the good one, up until i did anything she didnt like, then i was the bad one. these two ideas getting fed into me led to me clinging onto the Good Perception as how i really was, and if something even for a second made me slip, i'd crash down from total egoism to total repulsion. And It Sucked!

(disclaimer: do not armchair diagnose my mother. i have my theories but they will stay private and i absolutely do not want a STRANGER butting into this, especially when they could know less abt mental illness than me and thus spread misinformation)

now, i dont think izaya's parents were like my mom- but there was still a dichotomy at play here. he would go to school, where he would be a smart student and praised by his teachers, even if he kept to himself. then, he'd go home, and be alone. as he got older, it only got worse- humans are social creatures, and we don't take well to being lonely. the mind starts to cope with it however it can.

as izaya started to venture deeper into the underground, he couldve started to develop a superiority complex about it. see, look- he's smarter than everyone. better than everyone. that's why he's alone, its because he's too good to be around them. not because he's worse. he's better.

because, especially once he gets to high school age... izaya is smart. izaya is perceptive. izaya would be able to tell that there's something different about him, and that's why people avoid him and he avoids them. there's something wrong with him in a way that's repulsive and unpalatable to most. that'd wreck a kid's self-image, especially a neglected kid's, since he'd already have low self-image from, yk, the neglect

and the dichitomy of the low and high self-image makes him develop npd- the ego masks the low self esteem, but both are equally felt and true, its not like his egoism and god complex are fake- it's all very real, he feels it all and believes it genuinely, and he clings onto it because if he slips, he KNOWS where he's gonna plummet

anyway thats just my take on it!! "it was his childhood" is prolly a boring answer but honestly a lot of mental illness has that answer at the root of it. art imitates life and all

[mspeevee]

Would it help more to ask you questions so you can vent, or would you prefer comfort? If so, would you prefer reassurance or advice?

I know it's a lot, and I don't want to condenscend. But I do promise that you aren't doing anything wrong by feeling this way. Take as much time as you need <3

i just wish i felt like i was important to my friends enough that i was worth the time i put into them back

i wasn't gonna vent but then i exploded anyways.

the gist is that multiple times now i've felt like i do all this effort, messaging first, making art (i don't do it expecting anything back), sharing my life with people only to receive like, appreciation but not reciprocation. and then i watch them do all of that for other people and i can't help but feel like it's my fault. like i am just so replaceable.

and then when i am hurting so bad i understand they don't know what to say me, hell they prolly have my vent and complaining tags blocked i'm sure, but i feel left to rot and seethe until i fucking hate them. and then i feel bad about it, cuz i don't want to, but i'm so tired of feeling this way every few months. it makes me wish i were dead because i don't see any point in going on if no one genuinely cares if i'm in pain or not. not even a simple "hey im sorry you're going through this but i care". i get ignored. and i feel like it reflects my worth to them.

and rn i can't blame myself for feeling so angry about it too when i feel like i'm bleeding out with their backs turned to me. and maybe that's dramatic but i'm not exactly rational right now anyways so.

and later on i prolly won't blame them or anything, i know this is all because my mental health is bad and my brain tortures me using them against me, but when it happens so often and i feel like i'm finally getting better only for something random to set me off into wanting to stop existing again i'm like, well what's the fucking point??

would they even cry about me for that long? would me leaving leave any impact longer than a week? a month? would they regret not taking every chance i gave them to engage with me? did i deserve their time at all anyways? am i selfish for interpreting continual silence as dismissal?

this applies to literally everything but i cannot blame myself for not knowing how people think when they don't tell me. i can't know if anyone likes my art if they don't like it or reblog it or tell me. i can't know that you told your friends you really enjoyed a post on my blog if that's the only people you told.

and obviously that extends to me, too, how can they know i'm slowly resenting them if i dont say something? but isn't that so cruel of me to mention? isn't it so mean of me to make them feel bad for doing harmless things that just so happen to be used as ammo against me because of my own problems by my own brain? should i just stop making friends? where do i give up here? where do i work on it?

honestly i'd love advice, idk how to cope like this. everything online just says therapy but that's not an option for me. im trying so hard to practice mindfulness and challenging the thoughts but they seem so right and like there's so much "proof". "oh you did all this for your friend but they never did it back but look now they're doing it with this new friend! and it's not the first time either, how many times will you assume you mean as much to them as they do to you."

i wish i wasnt struggling alone. even tho i know i'd just think they're lying if they ever reached out to me at least i would remember they tried when i started to come out of this ditch. but no one wants to try with me anymore, and it's my fault.

[nightfall-kachiniko]

hi everyone! I know a lot of you are probably wondering where I've been basically all year. I don't think I've written in months honestly, and it's getting to the point where Tumblr is an app I only use for reading. Now before I worry anyone, I just want to say this isn't me quitting. I've matured a lot and done a lot of soul searching this year. I used to use Tumblr as a way of self-expression, where i'd write poems and endless paragraphs of how I'd feel. Earlier on, these emotions really weren't the best. I'm not gonna get into a lot, but I was very active on this app when I was at my worst. I'm happy to say I'm not in that same space I used to be. These few years i've spent on tumblr have been some of the happiest and honestly, it's been something i'm proud of. Me being in-active for a large majoirty of this year isn't something I view as a bad thing, but a good thing. I used writing fanfictions as a escape from my current reality, and now i'm happy to say i dont have to do that anymore. I've found a lot of peace and happiness, even in the hardest situations. I've decided to run to a higher power instead of hiding in my room and writing for hours. The decrease of my activity is something I can honestly say i'm happy of. I don't have to depend on a false reality i've created in my head and wrote about on this app to keep me satisfied anymore. If anything, i'm happy. This is the best i've ever been, even after a lot of terrible situations. I'm happy. And i'm grateful that this was a place I used as a safe place. Maladative daydreaming is something I've done less and less over the months. I no longer feel like I wasn't meant for this world, and only the one in my head, but I actually love the place i'm at. I've grown a lot, and thats something i'm gratfeul for. This isn't an 'im quitting' and definitely not a goodbye! but as i'm inactive, just know i'm not suffering, but making some of the best memories of my life. I'm gratfeul for everything and everyone this app has given me. Thank you all for your endless patience. I'm so grateful i once had this community as my main source of happiness and coping. I'll probably keep writing since i dont think i'll ever quit (and ill always love my baes hawks and mikasa lol) but just know this is something to be happy about! I love you all and thank you for supporting me over the years!

kachi out <3

[colourful-void]

OKAY I GOT DISTRACTED FOR A BIT BY GETTING IN THE ZONE BUT AITSF UDPATE:

1: finished the komeji and shoma ending! i! okay ill be honestly i wasn't super thrilled. I REALLY like the set up stuff in terms of simulation reality, and beleiving its all fake bcs you can't cope, im MASSIVELY INTO THAT. But. I don't. like. Komeji I'm so sorry his just. he's so cube. and he annoys me. I feel like a usually have a pretty high tolerance for this kinda stuff but I just. On paper i get it but in practice I really dont like him. was very happy to see date n co tho. i think it's RIDICULOUSSSS how they explain date's interest in porn like that did not need to be explained. however. its such a stupid explanation it kinda loops back around to being funny to me. sure. why not.

2: ollowing finishing that route i tried to get back to Tokiko to see if i could use that elevator code, bcs she'd been mentioning frayers and i thought i knew what that was but i did not. but no thats only 6 digits so still not right f=/. dang. i also tried to get onto mizuki's half i miss my baby, but i found i needed two names. i know Dahlia is one, but the other is 4 letters so. Currently its probably either for Mame, Lien, or Naix. I suspect Naix the most as an answer.

3: started onto the other route from komeji's somnium. I maintain that these are too easy. It's not like they're like. the problem is that I feel like i'm being treated like I'm an idiot. ryuki and tama talk everything out in such detail, and theres often not a lot of stuff to interact with at all, a lot of which doesn't even let you make the choices like from the last game. like, proper timie usage was SO important to me last game and in this one I've never even racked up 3. i also feel like there's less dream logic, and it's a little disappointing. like, oh tape the cardboard back together. turn on the tv. =( the whimsy. it did improve some in the back half though, and i'll take it!!!

4: liking this dead komeji route WAY MORE than the other one. its not that i hate him that much but i do like the way the plots moving here. what does mame know? whats the masked womans deal? has anyone seen shoma. WHAT IS WRONGGGG WITH RYUKI <33. what is wrong with ryuki is by far my favourite mystery. im more interested in that than i am in the half body killings honestly. (part of that is teh victims i think. we dont really know jin, chikara was annoying at best but the more i learn about him the more i hate him, komeji was annoying, so. honestly i havent really been that upset about any of them dying. tokiko i did love and i am sad she's gone, but also these murders are a little bland following the first game. i just watched a guys head explode could there at least be a little blood? just a little? i know its probably for plot reasons but ive never missed gore so bad. im not even that into gore.

5: somewhere on the dead komeji route i finally figured out what that little green thing in the menu was so i've activated my tamagotchi thingy!! very fun i love it. mines an iris-y one or something? its cuteee!!

6: in terms of the wider mystery: im just really curious how far they're gonna commit to being meta.they did start with asking ME what i knew about the last game so.... looking forward to ryuki's whole deal, actually getting to play as my darling mizuki again, finding out what is UPP with date. i really like the weird videos series i just think they're neat. if the endgame doesn't have a somnium based on those thigns i will be disappointed, surely thats what we're building to.

i left off right before starting mame's somniumin the gameshow room. i don't think shes' actually involved in the killings, but doing that would be REALLY NEAT as a sequel thing, imo. i'd like it. i think shes just hiding stuff bcs she was threatened. assumably i've still got a good chunk of the game to paly! i havent done much if any of the extra eyeballs either, just whats on the way so. i'll get those guys. have been picking up some costumes n stuff tho. you can put tama <33 in pants <3333333333.

[raccoonfallsharder]

tiny lil violet anon here!! hh second guessing is really common w creatives (i would know.. i'm a digital artist) but i want you to know that you're probably one of my favourite fic writers and you actually inspired me to start working on a rocket x reader fic of my own a while back!!! (would you mind if i sent you my fic if i ever finished it?)

honestly, i dont think you have to worry about how well you capture rocket's voice bc honestly you're one of, if not the best i've read— your triptych day 17 fic was genuinely mindblowing for example?? your understanding of how different people write rocket is so in depth and the way you made all three renditions of rocket different but so clearly still rocket got me awestruck (do you have any tips on writing the 3 different rockets btw? i'd love to understand more about how you differentiate them! ><)

i remember reading the boring adventures of space pilot and sweatshirt girl for the first time after reading the rocket comics and thinking that helping rocket out on that ferry was exactly what i was hoping someone would write?? it was the fic i needed and didn't deserve LMAO literally every thing you've written has always filled a gap that i didn't know was there & didn't know i needed ♡♡

sorry for the ridiculously long ask ^^; your work genuinely means so much to me and im totally in love with how you write rocket— while ik every artist doubts themselves, i want you to know that the work you create is so much better than you give yourself credit for!

tiny little violet nonnie!! (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝) you precious sweet little flower. please don’t apologize for long asks - i love them (they just take a while for me to respond to). this was also so, so sweet, and the idea that any of my writing means a lot to you kinda makes me teary ♡

i would love to read your fanfic! even if you don’t finish it! you can always send it my way via dms or share via ask if you wanna stay on anon. or post it and tag me ♡ the fact that i was able to inspire you a little bit is honestly one of the most lovely compliments i could receive and it is truly an honor

(｡•́︿•̀｡)

i’m also so grateful that you enjoyed sweatshirt girl ♡ one of my favorite things about fanfiction is that it can give us the stories we need and deserve (or give us the opportunity to write them!). honestly reading grounded all i wanted to do was pick up that raccoon and take him home and feed him warm food and that’s how sweatshirt girl happened ♡o(╥﹏╥)o♡

so part of the reason i took a long time to respond is because i was trying to really think about how i write the different rockets. and i decided i only have one “tip” for you (or rather, one thing that worked for me and which i hope might also work for you.

but you know im gonna take ten paragraphs to get there!

tbh even though i refer to them by their respective authors, i don’t think “i need to write rocket like skottie young” or “i need to write rocket like james gunn.” i think “i need to know rocket, and understand him, and figure out how he would react & interact in skottie young’s galaxy” or “in the mcu.”

my short tip for writing any character is understand what makes them tick. what drives them? what do they long for? how do they hurt? what do they fear? in what ways do their insecurities and survival mechanisms weave together and impact the way they see the world, interact with friends, protect themselves from enemies?

your best tool as a writer of characters is your ability to empathize with them.

know and love your characters the same way you do your best friends. as authors we are playing god with their world and their lives and it’s a little bit of a sacred responsibility to at least make sure we understand them as well as we can ♡

so for rocket specifically…

fundamentally, my personal interpretation of rocket in any universe is someone with profound empathy, who feels pain very deeply. and since he hasn’t had the opportunity to like, see & practice healthy coping mechanisms lol, he has learned to survive by trying to hide that empathy and that pain under layers of calcification and sarcasm and spikes and blades. and it like, kinda works?? but sometimes it ends up hurting people who don’t deserve to be hurt and when he realizes that, the hidden empathy kicks in and he hates himself all over again.

and like many people, rocket also doesn’t really want to give up his pain. people tend to fight to keep their most hurtful memories or vulnerabilities locked inside. they build so much of their identities around them.

so the real question comes down to, what is each rocket’s source of pain? how does that impact how he interacts and thinks? what is his support system at the point in time that i’m like, crashing his party? how does that impact his interactions and thoughts?

skottie young’s rocket gets laid, so he’s not going to be worried about seducing anyone tbh. he’s probably got the most confidence out of all the rockets, at least on the surface. geez, the 2014 run? it’s like. all about his copious ex-girlfriends and about he’s the only one of his kind in the whole universe. if i were gonna write a full fic based on skottie young’s rocket, i’d base my foundation on the idea that the reason rocket has so many exes is because he’s constantly searching for something that he doesn’t believe exists (basically, someone who can make him feel not-alone) and he probably ends up sabotaging his chances every fuckin time he gets close.

ewing’s or rosenberg’s rocket? still canonically gets laid but has gotten treated like dirt enough times — including being betrayed by people he trusts at various points — that he’s always waiting for that to happen. and mcu rocket? that boy is so insecure about his worth on every level that if he has any pleasant interaction with anyone, he’s probably baffled about why the fuck it’s happening.

all this to say: how do you see (each) rocket? how does he move through the galaxy his authors creates for him? and how does that change when you step in and make something different for him?

it’s late here and my brain is foggy so i’m sorry if i didn’t fully and properly answer your question, sweet little violet .｡༅:*ﾟ*:✼✿ all this to say that if i am successful at all in effectively communicating rocket, it’s more about studying (my interpretation of) who he is in each setting than studying a writer’s style, if that makes sense.

ahhh good night, little love. i am an old baba yaga and i must sleep