#I don't trust you anon but I'm willing to answer your question anyway

[kakusu-shipping]

Hi, I would like to understand why do you ship Mario and Luigi? You don't have to answer if it's not comfortable for you. 🙂

This soooooo immediately reads as a bait question, but I'm trusting you here anon I'm trusting you asked this in genuine good faith which I don't know why you would but if you want to know;

The short answer is Because I Want To and I Like Them. Plain and simple, there doesn't have to be a deeper reason. Sometimes we just ship things because we want to. Understood? Okay cool.

A slightly longer answer would be because they're the kind of Ship Dynamic that brings me the most comfort. I love a ship where they are each other's other half, they understand eachother and support eachother and just get eachother in ways no other person ever could. Loving eachother, being together is all they've ever known, they can't imagine a world where they're not together, side by side.

Platonic or Romantic aside, Mario and Luigi are a perfect pair, that's their entire thing. Mario is Reckless and Headstrong, Luigi is Calculating and Sturdy. Mario charges forward, Luigi holds the line. Mario picks mushrooms out of his spaghetti, and Luigi eats them. They fill in the gaps the other leaves, they compliment and communicate and trust one another undoubtedly.

I love a love like that. Of course it's you. It was always going to be you. It could never be anyone but you. I am not me without you, and you are not you without me. They are eachother's everything

They are a bonded pair, do not separate.

[flagellant]

Hey, this is a weird and heavy question that could land you in hot water no matter which direction you answer in, so feel free to just ignore me, it's not imperative that you answer or anything. But I don't have a lot of kink-positive (or frankly sex-positive) people that I trust and you seem to have put a lot of time and work into that kind of stuff (or maybe it just comes naturally to you! Regardless, I value your opinion).

I don't know how to make my peace with age regression as a kink, or if I even need to. I've done a lot of unlearning when it comes to a sanitized, puritanical mindset that I was raised with. My general opinion now is "if no one's in danger of getting hurt just leave it be". But I can't help but see people who participate in age regression as a huge red flag- depending on their role in the situation. If I'm friends with someone and they tell me they have a "little" persona or whatever sure that makes me internally cringe but mostly I just feel bad for them because they almost always have trauma. (Baby talk makes me wanna barf but maybe that's a me problem). But when I learn that someone is into people who essentially act like a child or a baby in the bedroom, I'm gonna run for the fucking hills. That just seems like a giant red flag to me- if someone is able to get into a mindset where they can be sexual with someone who's acting like a child, I have a hard time feeling okay around that person.

I know you're no professional, and I'm not here to get validation. Like I said, I just value your insight and I'm wondering if you can introduce me to a new way of thinking about this. Am I wrong to write off someone for a sexual preference as long as it's technically between two consenting adults? Should I be challenging my thinking?

If you do take the time to answer this, know that I appreciate you so much. If you can't answer, I hope you have a good day anyways.

I feel as though relatively often there is confusion when it comes to the idea of kink positivity with regards to this sort of context. It can seem confusing or even impossible, because there are those who act as though being kink positive is the same thing as being personally anything-goes, fetishwise. It's just a matter of vocabulary--we hear "kink positive" and logically assume "we need to feel positive about this kink", right?

Except that's really not the case, no more than landback as a movement demands for creating native american ethnostates by "giving all the private property of america back". The reality is always a bit more complex.

For your specific example of age regression as a kink, it's a pretty common sentiment to just not like it and not want to engage with it. I feel that way--it isn't a matter of value or moral, it's just something that on a personal level I don't like and want nothing to do with.

But the key part of kink positivity is that I need to recognize that I can not be into something without making it a moral judgement on those who are. As you say: If the people involved are all consenting adults, it isn't my place to pass judgement or tell them how to live their lives so long as no one is getting hurt. I need to trust that as adults, they are capable of handling their own sex lives without my intervention. It is not my place to butt in and tell people that because I find their kinks gross that they need to watch out for red flags, any more than it would be anyone else's place to do the same to you.

Anon, you seem to be sort of trapped halfway. You are capable of understanding what kink positivity is supposed to be, but you're not--and forgive me if I'm wrong--really willing to seriously examine what "supposed to be" means when your personal tastes are being challenged. You're saying you're not asking me for validation, but you are asking verbatim "Am I wrong to write off someone for sexual preference as long as it's between two consentint adults?".

I don't really feel like I need to clarify the answer on that, Anon. I'll just point out that you should imagine how you would feel if someone wrote you off morally for one of your sexual preferences when it takes place between yourself and other consenting adults, and whether or not you feel the justifications you'd make against that person could be meaningfully different than the ones someone who participates in age regressions would make to you.

At the end of the day, framing it internally as "It seems like a red flag" is just a way to frame your reaction as morally superior. It is a way of saying "I'm not judging this badly because I don't personally enjoy it, I'm trying to help people. Them doing this is dangerous and I need to be involved and even be against them doing this for their own good". It is the same pearl-clutching Puritan thinking as any fundamentalist Christian would, and it leads to the same thing: Telling full-grown adults that how they have sex between themselves is fundamentally wrong and that your dislike at the very idea of them partaking in it takes priority over their ability to partake in it at all.

I'd suggest asking yourself whether or not you feel as though you'd be respected if someone approached you and told you that, yes, they understand that you're a fully grown adult consenting to sex in this manner, but they don't trust your ability to consent because it seems to them as though there's red flags involved and therefore they DO have a right to get involved in your sex life. For your own good, of course. It isn't your fault that you're into something bad like this. You're traumatized. It's just that people who want to have sex with you are actually taking advantage of you and hurting you, and you just don't know it because you're traumatized, so it's up to other people to tell you how you should and shouldn't have sex and who you shouldn't have sex with.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Yay! Your askbox is open again! ♥️ Hi there, Mousy! How are ya? 👋🏻 Here's a virtual cookie 🍪✨️

I was wondering if you have any thoughts about Isaac as a boyfriend/husband to the Farmer or Alesia as a girlfriend/wife to the Farmer. Maybe them as parents too, because I'm in a very wholesome mood lately! And I might gain inspiration to draw them, again, like I used to! :D Who knows? Hehe... Anyways, take ur time if you're answering this.

Thank you very much if you answered this! Have a good day! (*´▽｀)v✨️

I can't go anon for some reason, but I'm way too excited to wait |_•) I don't think I can calm down from my wholesomeness thoughts.

Hey hey Nim! 👋 Feeling good, thank you ☺️

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for the cookie! *eating the cookie* Mmmm, my favorite ❤️

I apologize for the inconvenience with the ability to ask a question as anon. Turns out I didn't turn that option on, I thought it was on by default 😅 so it's not your fault.

Here some random headcanons with Alesia and Isaac as partner/spouse/parent. Have a good day too! 🫰

Alesia:

Alesia is still responsible for the defense of Castle Village, so even though she lives in the Valley, she keeps in touch with her coworkers.

Not an ardent PDA fan, at most Alesia can be expected to kiss on the cheek in public. When she and Farmer are alone, she will show her tenderness: hugs, kisses, and maybe something else 👀

Loves to give and receive practical things to help in adventures: daggers, amulets, elixirs, artifacts. Also has a collection of rare daggers, so if the Farmer has a nice dagger lying around, found in adventures, it would make a great gift for Alesia.

A loving and moderately strict mother. Will always listen to her children, help them and protect them to the last, but will not spoil them much.

Can be a bit of a overprotective wife and mom, so let Farmer not be surprised that Alesia can break a stranger's nose because he said something bad about Farmer or their children. As it is, she's pretty peaceful.

Even if her and Farmer's kids don't want to become adventurers, the sniper still thinks that giving them a couple of self-defense lessons wouldn't hurt.

In the spouse area, she will set up a stand with her bows and a target, practicing archery in her spare time.

She will find common ground with the residents of Pelican Town very quickly. Her first friends are Robin and Leah.

Every Sunday she goes to Pierre's store to pray at Yoba's altar. Later Andy became her friend after constant meetings.

Her trust is very easy to lose, so Farmer should not deceive her. Never. For their own good.

Even if they are thinking of ending the relationship, let them say it straight, and they will separate like adults. Alesia will not tolerate deceit, and Farmer will regret it bitterly if they decide to cheat her.

Isaac:

With a partner like Isaac, Farmers get the scary dog privileges, whether they realize it or not.

Don't count on PDA, Isaac still can't get used to the idea of having a date. So it can be a bit much for him.

Even when Isaac is alone with Farmer, he may seem cold and closed off. But he's not the heartless, and willing to go down to hell for Farmer.

Farmer is honored to see Isaac's sword collection.

Sometimes Isaac needs time alone, and he's glad when Farmer understands him half-heartedly and gives him some space.

Without noticing it himself, Isaac began to flex in front of his beloved. A friendly fight with another adventurer was an opportunity for Isaac to show off all his skills as a fighter to Farmer.

Can be a rather jealous boyfriend (especially if Lance is hanging around somewhere). Even after marrying Farmer, may not stop being jealous. Apparently, the idea that he's not good enough for Farmer still haunts him.

Not the most affectionate spouse, but he tries hard, is pretty careful and gentle partner.

Only Farmer can catch the rarest phenomenon in the world, a smiling Isaac.

Strangely enough, he was the first to talk about children, and he has taken to preparing for the arrival of a new member of the family with all responsibility. A very gentle and careful father.

[misteria247]

What really makes you like Atalum? Is there anything that you dislike about them/their story?

Hello Anon! First off I'd like to apologize for taking so long to get to this, I'd been recovering from a surgery I'd gotten not too long ago and my thoughts have unfortunately been a bit scrambled. But-! I'm back and I'm ready to answer!

The thing that makes me really like Ataru and Lum as a couple is this.

It's their entire relationship. Or rather just how well thought out and complex it is.

On the surface it seems like the stereotypical boy flirts with random girls while the girl who actually likes him is in a one sided type of relationship. However beneath it there's actually so much more to their relationship as a whole. From moments where Lum expresses her love and affections to the moments Ataru shows his love with small actions and gestures, each little thing adds up to their relationship. I love how Lum puts her all into expressing her feelings for Ataru, how she's willing to reassure him that what she feels is very real and that she won't abandon Ataru when things get tough or complicated. With Lum she's all about words of love which fits into Ataru's personality perfectly. She's the vocal force in their relationship and isn't afraid to let her darling know what's up. Her loyalty as well as her obvious affections for him helps Ataru feel grounded in their relationship and reassures him that Lum loves him. Lum proves over and over again that she's someone Ataru can trust when it comes to the matters of the heart and their romance and she genuinely loves spending time with Ataru despite his less than savory moments.

With Ataru I love how he lets his guard down around Lum. Ataru as a character, while chipper and easy going, is actually surprisingly distant with people. Because of Ataru and his bad luck, he keeps people at an arm's length. Even with the girls he flirts with he never really truly tries to pursue anything meaningful or real. The one time he'd been serious about a girl was with his childhood friend Shinobu, who much like everyone else can only handle so much of him before she gets like everyone else. Even going so far as to drop him twice for Rei and Mendo (though it's understandable cuz Shinobu is a teenager). So Ataru is pretty much in arms when things get serious. But with Lum he's different. Ataru's brand of expressing love is through actions or gestures. He's the very definition of actions speak louder than words and with Lum it becomes so clear that he loves her dearly even if he doesn't physically say it. I love how Ataru let's Lum see him, how as their relationship goes on he grows comfortable with her and makes it obvious through his gestures and actions towards her that Lum is the one who truly owns his love and affections. Little things and details he does that reassures Lum that he loves her and that he's only got room in his heart for her. His way of affection compliments Lum's way perfectly and I adore that.

This is only just a little bit of what I love about them and their relationship and that's only scratching the surface. If I were to list everything we'd all probably be here for years and no one's got time for all that. It's the little things, the little moments that seem miniscule that makes up their romance and I love it to death. As for your other question.....

I can't really think of anything that I dislike about their relationship. As for their story I do kinda wish that there were more stories/moments that focused on them. That let them get a bit more serious and whatnot. However it's not a big deal considering that Urusei Yatsura is a comedy and Rumiko Takahashi's first work so I don't think about it too much lol.

Anyways I hope this answered your questions Anon!!!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I've been dubbed! To honor this momentous occasion I, Boredom Anon, will let you in on a little something: I am in fact going to go through with writing the memory loss au, rest assured. Sorry I left you with only that small piece to chew on, but I needed a trusted source to give me an opinion on the idea before I got too in over my head.

To answer a few of your questions in your response:

His body is still there, yep, and I plan on this being one of the plot points because technically Spider is still in his body---the avatar up and walking is just a glitchy memory-holder which I thought would lead to an interesting question: where is the line between oneself? Is he even still Spider, in this case? This is something that Neteyam especially will be conflicted by.

The exact details of how he got hurt are something I've been playing with. For now I think having him take the bullet for Neteyam might be fun to play with, but who's to say. I'm willing to hear any suggestions you may have on the matter!

The Sullies are in Awa'atlu when Spider is first on the mend and getting used to his avatar body. The scene I gave you was when they're finally in the clear to come and see him at High Camp.

I didn't add in all of their reactions because I didn't want to get carried away, but you are very close to how I imagined I'd write Jake and Tuk's reactions lol. I plan on putting the elements you mentioned with Neytiri in there for sure though and you're correct Spider is going entirely off of what feels right so that'll be fun.

Another thing to note: one of the main points I have written down right now is that this avatar body is so fresh that everything is new and feels almost overwhelming in some cases. Pair that with his limited memory and you get some potent muscle-memory/instinct type shit going on, almost like how a newborn creature is just going off of what it feels. For example, the first thing he thinks when he wakes up in his avatar body is Neteyam, and this is quickly followed by a deep longing and it just starts to plague him because he doesn't know what it means but he knows he needs this "Neteyam" whoever he is (and he knows Neteyam is a person, he can feel it. It comes to him in broken images: a blurry face, a melodic laugh, "I see you, Spider.") Am I explaining this well? I feel like I'm making about zero sense lol but whatever you'll get what I mean eventually if you don't now.

Anyways, while I'm working on developing this fic I'll be sure to hop on the asks every now and then with updates if you'd like and when I publish it I'll of course send you the link if you want 👍. Your positive reaction has done wonders and since you aided in my final decision to write it I feel it's only fair.

BOREDOM ANON THIS IS THE MSOT EXCITING NEWS. WHEN I GOT THIS ASK I FREAKED, AND I ALMOST BUMPED IT TO THE TOP OF THE PILE. Instead I just went through the others a little quick and used it as incentive lol. I am thrilled to be a trusted source, I'd love to do whatever I can, feel free to dm me of course, or send me all the asks if you want to stay anonymous of course.

-Wow, that is very dark. There's a great opportunity for an examination of what makes one truly themselves. I think the Na'vi would be more understanding at first than the scientists, due in part to all energy being borrowed in their philosophy. They can visit the dead in memories when they are with Eywa, and that's almost like what Spider is. It just is a question as to if that makes him dead or not, kind of. I also wonder, does that mean they expect him to wake up, or will they try to transfer him into his Avatar body permanently once they think he's strong enough? Probably not questions for you to answer, spoilers lol.

-Hmm, well, the bullet is always good, because I've been saying (I don't remember if it was in dms or a public post) that I've yet to see a fic where Spider takes the bullet and I get to the see the direct fallout from that. I think the effect it would have on his and Neytiri's relationship would be fairly immediate. It would also drastically change the ship standoff, and I'm curious as to people's takes on that. He could also always just pass out from blood loss and then when Norm and Max arrive they notice the brain damage from the machine, and that is what makes them put him in a coma, because he isn't stable.

-Ooh, very interesting. I'm sHOCKED the Sully kids let that fucker out of their sight for a second. Kiri and Lo'ak attempt to sneak out with Payakan to go back to High Camp literally every night, Jake has to sleep basically on top them. He'd never suspect that NETEYAM is also a flight risk, the biggest of them all.

-Haha, no, I understand! Well, even if he can't remember much of before, he's never felt his mating bond before in a Na'vi body. The feelings are stronger and different, and he doesn't have the past knowledge to try to repress or ignore them. He just knows what he wants and what he needs.

OBVIOUSLY we'd love updates, but no pressure of course, and of course I want the link!! I am so so glad I helped with the decision, so many of you lately have said I helped inspire you to write and I cannot express how happy that makes me! Fanfiction is a fantastic creative outlet and a great tool and gateway into bigger literary work, so never feel nervous!

[rainbowsky]

Hello, rainbow! hope you’re doing well!

i feel really silly asking this, but how do you view dd’s relationship with his fans? what do you think about it?

i’m new to the fandom so i’m kinda confused, and really don’t know if this has been addressed already.

i feel like every time i see him interacting with fans he looks really annoyed? maybe fed up?

i know lately there has been a lot of instances where he got his privacy invaded by “fans”, and that strains the relationship. but i don’t really know how it was before.

i really really like and support him in everything he does, and i know my thoughts might be misplaced. but i wanted to know your thoughts, if you’re willing to share.

Hi Anon, hope you're well too! 😊

Sorry that I'm so late in answering some of these asks. I've been very busy IRL and haven't had much time lately for Tumblr. I'm trying to get to the ones that are still somewhat relevant.

I got a few asks along the same lines of this one, after DD's recent Chunzhen live (more on that event here).

Disclaimer: This response is for all the anons who asked me this question, not just the Anon above. In fact, the above ask is the least judgmental/critical version of this ask I could find, which is why I'm answering it and not some of the others.

This question comes up a LOT whenever new fans see DD in interviews or at fan events, and especially at live endorsement event fan meets, which I believe he mostly hates (because they're boring and contrived and call upon him to be fake, and he's not fake).

Here is the Chunzhen event with Eng Subs.

People seemed to have an especially big reaction to his response (at 50:15) when he was asked if there's anything he wanted to do with his fans and he said, "Nothing." Which is just a very honest answer, quite typical of the DD we know and love.

And let's face it, what a STUPID question. What on earth would DD want to do with his fans? They don't treat him like a human being. What does he even have in common with most of them? As a star, what's he supposed to want to go camping with them or something? They'd spend the whole time screaming and fawning over him.

Anyway, this sort of response always gets negatively interpreted, and fans read a lot into it and often he gets painted as harsh, ungrateful and mean.

I think a lot of it comes from the toxic positivity that is rampant in most cultures - the idea that we have to come across as exuberantly pleasant or else we're being negative or bad.

DD is a very honest, straightforward person who tells it like it is. That means that sometimes he comes across as harsh to some people, but that's just the cultural judgments/assumptions talking - it's not an accurate assessment of who DD is or what he's really like.

There are expectations around how people should look and behave, and when those expectations aren't met, their behavior is interpreted as negative.

As an autistic person I get this a LOT in my life, and I absolutely hate it. It's one of the things I most loathe about interacting with neurotypical and mixed groups of random people who I'm not familiar with and don't have a trust bond with.

Because I don't have a lot of facial expressions, because I don't deal in subtext and I am forthright and honest, I very frequently get interpreted in negative ways - as 'harsh', 'cold', 'rude', 'blunt' or 'intimidating' - when in fact I'm just talking normally, and when in reality I'm actually happy or cheerful about what I'm talking about. People misread me entirely and take everything I say as having a negative tone, and project all these negative ideas, motives and subtext onto me about what they think I really mean or what they think I'm thinking about them. (More on all that here).

It even happens here on my blog.

It's a big part of why I identify with Lan Zhan so much. In fact, that's how I first learned about GG and DD - because my sister saw The Untamed and thought Lan Zhan was just like me, and urged me to watch the show.

We can hopefully all agree that Lan Zhan isn't a hateful, mean, harsh person. We can agree that he's actually a kind, loving, noble person with a lot of deep emotions and a compassionate heart. It's just that his way of expressing that is different from most other people's way of expressing it. Wei Ying is one of the few people who can see and accept Lan Zhan for who he is, and in return he gets the gift of seeing how funny Lan Zhan really is, how soft-hearted and kind.

DD is like this. He's sweet, charming, funny, kind. And he's also very unique, not like everyone else. He has his own way of expressing himself, and he has never been one to put on a fake face for fans - at least, not in his solo career where he's been at liberty to be himself.

We shouldn't read anything negative or judgmental into this.

Whenever DD has a live fanmeet for an endorsement brand my inbox fills with asks about his supposedly being 'off' or 'upset' or even 'angry', and I think if he is any of those things, it's not about what fans seem to assume. It's not some personal thing or some beef he has with fans. It's quite simply discomfort about being put into an event he doesn't enjoy and feels bored by.

DD isn't a salesman. He's not that kind of guy. And these events, they really call upon those kinds of skills and behaviors. They call upon the star to be a cheerful, up-beat shill for whatever ware is being hawked, and that's not something DD seems to feel comfortable with.

If it was a cool Lego set or some skateboard parts and accessories or a motorcycle helmet he'd probably light right up and knock it out of the park. He'd probably sell the shit out of those things. But drinkable yogurt or massage equipment or facial masques - not really something he's going to get fired up about.

DD isn't fake and isn't really capable of pretending to be interested in something he's not interested in. That's a feature, not a bug. That's a good thing, not a bad thing. HE'S SINCERE.

Once you've become more familiar with DD as a person you'll start to see that it's just his personality. And his fans - the ones who've been with him for a while and know him well - they see him for who he is and they love him for it. They know that he's not going to blow smoke up their ass or give them a bunch of fake sweetness. They appreciate his honesty and accept him for who he is.

Someone is likely to ask me if maybe he was upset about the way Chunzhen was handling the event/the situation with turtles, or if he was sticking it to solo fans after the fucked up demands they've been making and the way they've been abusing his team, so I'll address that here as well:

I doubt it, but it's possible.

Whether solos accept it or not, DD does care about turtles. At the very least, turtles are an important part of DD's fan base (and are not involved with the demands and other BS), and I doubt he would appreciate seeing them mistreated by one of his brands.

Turtles aside, I doubt he enjoys dealing with controversies, or with fan demands or with the way they've been slandering his team online. It's possible either one of those issues - or even both - impacted his demeanour in the event.

But like I said, I really doubt it. He was behaving how he usually does at these things - bored and eager to get it all over with. I didn't see anything unusual to suggest he was particularly upset or angry. He was just doing his job, earning his pay. Nothing more.

[superfluouskeys]

Personal ask anon here! Yeah, no worries, it is a bit of a personal question! I just found that even though I never thought I'd have a partner and least of all get married, I have completely accidentally met a woman I'm now engaged to, and it has been such a weird experience, in the sense that I am not even remotely as crazy about it as I thought I'd be. I never believed in engagement nor marriage, and then one morning relatively recently I was just totally impulsively like haha, this is so great, marry me? And she was like, yeah! :) And I was so taken aback by my own behaviour that it took me several weeks to process lol, especially because I feel no regret about doing it. I have had dozens of weird flings, situationships, relationships, and most of them were toxic and weird as fuck, but then I find myself at almost thirty (which is still pretty young imo), this woman comes along and I rediscover the power of love lol?! Is that what getting older is?? I simply wanted to hear from someone my age or older who might have Thoughts to share that are not "uwu you've Found One True Love Disney Bullshit" haha! I genuinely think it is a shift in me personally, and not me just finding the perfect person that Cured Me, even though we are objectively a good match on many levels. It just feels so normal?? Anyway, this was ranty! You don't have to respond, I just thought you might have interesting opinions on this topic, you vibe like someone who has Lived Life in the sense that you're not a chronically online person whose perception of relationships is forged on the internet lol

Ahhh, I understand now!! That's really wonderful news, congratulations!!!!!

Since I didn't want to answer the first question (which I suppose is a kind of answer lol) I wasn't sure how to frame the rest without more info! I definitely find lately that I'm thinking a lot about how I used to view and be in relationships when I was younger, and especially how much I've chilled out about it lol! I think it's partly just getting older, but it's also learning and growing from your past experiences, and being open to the changes within yourself! Lots of people get older and keep doing the same shit, and/or they're the ones out here propagating fake bs that makes themselves feel better about their shitty choices while making esp younger people feel like they're just doing it wrong, or like that's something they could never imagine for themselves. Learning from both good and bad experiences and choosing to do and find better is not nothing!

And I definitely feel you that it takes a little bit of an adjustment period just to be like, 'oh, i guess i'm like this now?? huh.' I used to be really emotionally closed off and guarded, and it took me an unreasonably long time to even decide if I liked or could trust someone on a very baseline level. Not too long ago I realized I'm fairly open-hearted these days, and that I can trust my instincts--when I know I like someone, I know, and if it turns out it doesn't work for other reasons, I can accept that it's not some kind of moral failing on my part. But it took a couple of months of just sitting with that realization before I could be like, yeah, I think this is just how I feel now, and I need to adjust how I act accordingly to respect that change in myself!

And god I also used to hate how people would be like 'you'll just feel different when you're older, your priorities will just change uwu' when from my perspective they were justifying settling for less than their worth LOL! When really what I think it comes down to is meeting someone you click with when you're both ready for it, and you've done enough work on yourselves to be able to roll with the punches! It's a truly beautiful thing to realize one day that in spite of everything, you're willing, able, and ready to love! I wish you all the best, and thank you so much for sharing!!!

[yonemurishiroku]

In your older/ present Nico au how do u see a selfcest plot working out?

A March 15th ask! My sins just pile up don't they... Deep apologies to anon for the long wait. 😭😭😭

Referring to the selfcest plot here: 1 2 3 4 (Pretty messing tho bc I literally just post whatever I think of, pls go to the tag for more)

Anon please please know that I'm so, so glad to see someone interested in the selfcest AU and that your ask delights me to no end. This is my jam and only mine bc obviously nobody's unhinged enough to come up with it. 😭😭😭

To answer your question about "how a selfcest plot works out", I'm assuming you're asking about the relationship aspect, aka how their feelings come to be acknowledged? 👀

In that case, truthfully, I have no idea. LMAO. 😂

Actually no that's not right. Hmm. I mean. When I came up with this AU and decided to categorize it as "selfcest", the only thing in my mind was that: I wanted to see Nico love himself.

So, intrinsically, I suppose it might be a little different from what you might consider a typical romance? - the same way I sometimes go for the peculiar, rare, unnamed types of love. In this case, the important thing - the thing for which I built this whole AU and everything around it - is that Nico getting to show himself what love is.

The love in this, to me, is not technically like typical mainstream romances (of kisses and lovemaking etc...), but rather something about to cherish, to protect, to pray for the other's happiness, sometimes to hate as a result, and to fall.

Abstract, I know. I don't understand half of the things I wrote either. (And to think that I project my own self-esteem problem onto it...)

Anyway, the supreme repertoire of this AU is: the Older Nico showing his younger self that he deserves to be loved and could be selfish - because no one else has done it for him and selfishness is the peak unhealthy self-love - and thus, somewhat salvaging himself from the mistreatment he received in his lifetime.

Rather than romance, let's just say it's cherishing.

So, what about the Young Nico? How does he feel about this?

This is actually an angst pool I like to swim in, but like water, I can't properly get it out.

Let's just put ourselves in yNico's shoes. You have someone who treasures you so much it's unhealthy, and from said affection sprouts their wrongdoings. You can somewhat realize they're at wrong, but they're so nice to you, trying so hard for your sake, and suddenly the weight is on your shoulders.

It's already so complicated.

And to think that said person is your future self? That everything they do is just for your own good? That you sometimes want to trust them - over anything else, knowing nothing good would come out of it? That you have to choose between yourself and what's supposed to be "good"?

It's a can of worms I've yet to unpack. If I were to write this down it'd be a 20-something chapter of 100kw self-doubts and manipulation, for which I abs do not have the willpower.

BUT, let's just ask: Can you even call it love?

Again, it depends on what, exactly, you consider love. In this case, the gratitude is definitely there, the affection is def there - how can it not? when the F!Nico is the one teaching him about love, the desire to hold onto is def there; but the conflicts are also there (bc yeah I just have to make F!Nico an antagonist sue me), the doubts, and the "I wish it didn't have to come to this".

That, in a way, you give up on it, but you'd still be willing to give it a chance - if only there was one: The Young Nico treasures the precious things his future self has taught him, and he knew he had to give up on that, yet he couldn't stop himself from holding on.

Ah I love the blurring borders of love.

If you've followed me long enough, you'd probably realize that I don't always follow the definition of mainstream love/romance. In fact, when I say that "these two are in love", it's hardly ever about them wanting to kiss or lay around in the sheets, but rather them having a deep connection - whether it's by hatred, a grudge, a type of co-dependency, etc...

The term of "selfcest" itself, whilst posing as a couple tag, is used by me to indicate a connection, a somewhat attraction, and not completely a romance of normal standards. ❤🎇✨

So, to answer your question of how the selfcest part might play out: it's love, all the same.

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

Hi, anon with the friend, here. First of all thank you so much for responding <3 I read through the page you shared, it was super helpful & I will come back to it again and again for sure. I think I did OK last night, my friend is currently safe and seems to be feeling calmer rn. I do have a few follow-up questions if you feel ok answering, I will go into specifics this time, so if you or any of your followers want to stop reading, this would be a good place to do that- I just truly wanted to say thanks.

Anyway, to answer your question: he does trust me & feel comfortable confiding in me, . Last night he was in a state of crisis and he called me for help. He believed he needed to get out of his place for his own safety, so he packed up his most important stuff and asked me to go get him. I went, and like 3 minutes in I realized he was having a delusion. So I parked somewhere safe and just sat with him in my car for like an hour and listened. I did the best I could, didn't try to argue or convince him he was wrong, just did my best to make sure he both WAS safe, and FELT safe. He did calm down a lot, but was still convinced he'd be in danger if he went home, so I helped him check into a hotel for the night. I did convince him not to drop his job, and to wait a few days before making any big decisions, which im super grateful for, but that was it. He was really not in a good place. This morning he texted me & said he felt safe enough to return to his place for now. All good so far.

BUT, here's the thing. This was a really big crisis, I've never seen him this bad. And I don't know how I should talk to him about this, or when. Or shit, idk if I even should try to address it at all. He sometimes believes his roommate is dangerous to him, and so is his family. These are not great people so, fair enough, he's 100% right to be guarded around them, even if sometimes his reasons aren't quite real. Overall though, he was doing so, so well. He was dating this girl and was happy with her, he was self-aware about his delusions and trying hard to keep himself grounded, he was doing great. New job, new apartment. He'd been sober for 2 hard-fought years before this. Then two days ago his piece of shit roommate gave him the stuff he used to be addicted to, and that's what sent him into a spiral. He started feeling threatened by everyone around him, which is why he needed to leave. But he also started to VERY strongly mistrust his girlfriend, he was pretty heartbroken about it but he was CONVINCED she was a part of the thing his delusion was about, and that she was 100% malicious/deceitful towards him from the start. And I just couldn't dispute that at all last night. I don't know if this suspicion will go away or not... The stuff must've worn off by now, but obviously his delusion won't just stop like it never happened. So how can I help him work through it & hopefully get himself back to where he was? I also don't want this to damage his relationship, I would hate to see him lose her or push her away bc of this. Is there any way at all I can help him trust her again? How do I try to ground him without making him suspect me as well? Im so worried, I just want him to be OK.

It's really good that you're able to be there for a friend, that's very sweet of you. I'm really glad your friend can trust you to this extent!

Basically you can address these things, but ensure he is calm and in a good state as well as willing to discuss these things. I think at some point there definitely needs to be a discussion about this roommate and how he can potentially get away from them? Or just... avoid the roommate at the very least. Because if they triggered your friend AND sent them into a relapse that isn't good at all, i'd be concerned for your friend's safety.

And you can definitely talk to him about why he feels his girlfriend is a part of his delusions, but you may need to wait until he has calmed down enough to talk about it without becoming accusatory towards you. If you're in contact with the girlfriend, it's definitely worth it to get her to try and be understanding and have her talk to him as well, to try and reassure him that she is there for him and not against him.

You can remind him about everything good she has done for him and all the good times they had! Maybe even gather some pictures and screenshots he can send to you for safekeeping so when he's in crisis you can send him these things so he can have something to remind himself that his girlfriend is a good person and not somebody to be afraid of. I know that sort of thing helps me when I start having delusions that are against my partner.

-Mod Clemont

[wildissylupus]

Hi, OP.

Starting to read up on the books and lore of Overwatch, where should I start? What books? Is there a certain time set like Avengers?

(We all know how confusing that can be.)

I don't wanna read in the wrong direction.

SOS, need your help.

-proceeds to do the mercy hustle while waiting-

Hi anon!! I will be happy to help.

I'm assuming that you've already watched the Cinematics and origin stories (if not they're a good place to start), so I'll go into the places I recommend.

A lot of new fans when it comes to lore often don't know that Blizzard has an official website that has a lot of details, comics, short stories and character bio's can be found there. It's a really good place to start.

For timeline stuff they're ate plenty of videos on YouTube about the timeline, however a lot of them are out of date and a lot of them aren't as analytical as they should be. Often spreading information (trust me if you were around for the "Mercy is the real villain" and "Widowmaker is pure evil" era you know what I'm talking about). Anyway they're probably a good way to look at stuff timeline wise.

As for books, I don't suggest buying the books until after you read the comics and short stories on Blizards website. Just to make sure if you're willing to by them. But with the books it really depends on what part of the lore you're invested in, if you're interested in what the Crisis was like I suggest Sojourn, for information on what live was like post Crisis, Deadlock rebels is good for that as it takes place a year after, post Swiss-Base explosion and lore on Doomfist and Orisa, Hero of Numbani is the one for you. If you're big on cooking I also suggest the Overwatch Cook Book, it gives a lot of little details on characters.

Interactions are also a good thing to look at, especially the achieve event Interactions, most of them can be found on YouTube.

A big warning I have is stay away from Tictoks talking about OW lore, or at the very least fact check them. I see so many people get stuff wrong there, and a lot of people on that app are knew to the lore too.

Another warning, don't trust the fandonwiki for all your answers, a lot of it hasn't been updated for awhile. A lot of it still holds up but take what you read there with a grain of salt.

This is all I can think of at the moment If you have any other questions feel free to ask!!

Here's Blizards website:

[cosmicjoke]

Pardon me for asking, even though I know we're far out of the story already, but it's just something I might have missed understand, or there really was no explanation..... Why did Misumi waited for years to take down Hirata if he was broken by the lose of his subordinate Kurobane?

Yashiro said or hinted that Misumi knew or suspected Hirata for killing Kurobane, and yet he let Yashiro nearly died for that motherfucker to get caught. Just to imagine he's the big boss, he could've done an investigation a year after Kurobane died, maybe, but no.... And Yashiro was prolly tailing Hirata's group ( anon at that time ) for maybe 2 months? It just....Im sorry for the term, pisses me off to think, that Yashiro nearly died for him ( and yes, I sort of understand it was also an impulse because what happened with Doumeki, but it was also for Misumi's sake, maybe to give Misumi closure, otherwise why did he had to provoke Hirata and record everything ) and it felt it meant nothing to Misumi, and still pesters Yashiro about joining again. I just dont understand how he can be possessive of Yashiro yet threw in him in danger. Hirata tapped Yashiro's office, couldn't he have done the same, if he only needed hard evidence? I dont believe that he's done nothing because he was worried for the inner politics within their Yakuza, or is that really the reason? I dunno, I guess need help to fully understand why he didn't do anything if he knew....

Hey there, and no worries about asking!

I think, if anyone's read my blog posts of Saezuru, they probably know I don't really trust or like Misumi. I think he has the potential to become the main obstacle that gets in the way of Yashiro and Doumeki ending up together and out of the Yakuza. So I also wouldn't put it past Misumi to recklessly endanger the lives of people he claims to care about.

With that said, I really can't say what the exact reason for him allowing Yashiro to endanger himself might be. I don't think Misumi WANTED Yashiro to engage with Hirata. If I remember correctly, he had some of his own guys watching Yashiro to make sure he didn't do anything reckless, or to endanger himself. He was telling Yashiro to stay put and not go after Hirata, I think? My memory always fails me on these details and I have to go back and look, haha.

As for why Misumi waited years to take Hirata down, I don't really know either. I think, maybe, because while he suspected Hirata as being responsible for Korubane's death, he didn't know for certain, and so there wasn't really anything he could do without causing a big upheaval in the ranks. Though that does sound like a weak excuse, and as you pointed out, Misumi, being so high ranking himself, likely would have had the abilities and resources to expose the truth.

Yashiro did endanger himself specifically to help Misumi, absolutely, while also using it as an opportunity to commit suicide. But that's just how Yashiro is. He's completely self-sacrificial, and it's maybe one of the most tragic aspects to his character. Like I said, I don't think Misumi planned or was okay with Yashiro doing what he did, but then, he didn't do a whole lot to stop it from happening either.

Basically, I think Misumi is a lot more sinister and potentially villainous than people are willing to admit. The way he manipulated Yashiro and trapped him into the world of the Yakuza was horrific. The very definition of cruel. And the way he's acting now, trying to force Yashiro back, has me VERY nervous. I don't trust him at all, and I don't think it would be beyond him to hurt Yashiro in order to keep him for himself.

Anyway, I don't feel like I provided you with any real answer to your question, lol. I'm not sure either on why Misumi waited to take Hirata down. I'm sorry if I wasn't really able to help. I need to go back again and re-read some parts, I think.

[aressida]

Anons, write your story.

"Boy do I have stories to tell…and tell I will.

Now understand that I'm not counting on anyone wanting to read it mind you, but I figure that if nothing else we all owe history as much our individual insight as to this moment in time as we can. And that's exactly what I plan to do.

Been chewing on it for some time and as this currently insane part of the much larger theater of events going down worldwide comes to some sort of public conclusion, I will 117% be writing a book. I just don't see how to frame it if I don't yet know how it ends.

Seems kinda of pertinent.

The way I see it, generations from now historians, writers, and the like will have rich fields of earth from which to dig. Sure there will be all the videos, news articles, and professionally written books by professional authors…ok, great. But we'd be doing history a disservice is we didn't tell our stories. What happened to us from our individual POV's along the way.

In fact, I'd encourage all of you to at least consider it as well. It doesn't even have to be a book, you could even consider voice/video recordings. Just something that can be saved and passed down only God knows how long which will still speak for us after we're long gone.

Everyone's voice matters. Tell your story.

*and I mean the good, the bad, and the ugly

This moment in time, these 'days of days' if you will, is truly much more consequential than most can even comprehend…yet. Don't ever forget that.

Anyway, something to think about. What a time to be alive." - Awakened Outlaw. 4.10.23.

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My old entry: "I get to write my own story." - Aressida. 12.11.19.

I have the power to learn, grow and heal from anything in my life now. I get to write my own story.

What can you do to make this up to you?

We need to write our own story, be who we are, make our own choices and decisions, and be all we can be. Walk with me and we will figure out where we will go next.

Allow yourself to believe, to have hope and to trust again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My old entry: "We lived to talk about it. So what is your story?" - Aressida. 6.4.19.

My mind, heart, and soul speaks, having dreams, learning the path of enlightenment, and saving the world.

But who is willing to sacrifice themselves for it?

Which many were unaware of their effort involved in this experience, this is a sacrifice. Not sacrifice, but total surrender. A ‘death’ of one’s former self. Ego’s Death.

If we return hate for hate, we bat for the dark team and misrepresent the ‘Light.’ Believers are endowed with every tool we need to speak the truth with grace and discern when to not answer.

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.“ – Proverbs 26:4.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.” – Ephesians 1:3.

Armor up guys.

“You can choose to ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. If you can build a prison for the mind, then slavery does not require guards with guns, or cells with bars, or even awareness of enslavement.”

Would that be the ‘best’ prison of all?

No one is stopping you.

As long as we help enlighten all one by one to the world, will soon be enlightened as a whole. I am thankful for each new day and I surrender the day by spreading enlightenment to those around me.

The only thing that resonates for me is we have to think for ourselves. We need to take back our sovereignty and place the world that was meant to be. Choices are the time now where everything is out in the open and can be seen.

Question everything and use discernment, otherwise we become the very thing we are trying to change. Let’s remember the first rule: Think for yourself. When we come to different conclusions, discussion is a good thing.

I’d like to think this that – You save the world by saving yourself. Each person saves them selves. You need to learn how to save yourself.

Who is the self? And what are they saving?

Compassion for one self is much harder than that for others. Regardless of a person’s life decisions, or circumstance, the saving can have many meanings. Whether that means, rising above circumstance or crossing to freedom through the act of death.

“Would you like to save the world from the degradation and destruction it seems destined for? Then quietly go to work on your own self-awareness. If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.” – Lao Tzu.

Always doubt your doubt before you doubt your faith, and endure to the end. Everyone desires the truth, but few are willing a trial by fire.

We lived to talk about it. So what is your story?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My old entry: "In your story, you are a hero and a villain. You are both." - Aressida. 9.11.20.

Heroes and villains come in all forms. It plays an important role, either as a lesson or a mirror.

Where your choices control your story. Know your character type and plot role. The direction of your journey. When you know your purpose, you can easily differentiate between what is important and what is not. Then you get to make up your own answer, and create your own meaning in life. It is just how life is. I believe it is the same for all of us.

To some I am an antagonist, a villain (guys, malicious destruction is not my style), a hero, and, to some, I am just a person.

The search went deeper as I mature, I have learnt to embrace the existence of my shadow integration, and acknowledging my ancestral trauma and evolutionary past.

In the worst of times, I often chose to be a good person and do the right thing, even if life has taken everything from me unfairly. I chose to live my life. I only get to meet on my own terms, and there are plenty of good reasons for why I am fighting but no good reason ever to hate without reservation.

I am not what you think I am because you are what you think I am.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be exact, I started writing on January 4th, 2018. wrote between 900 and 1000 posts for two distinct sites, one using SquareSpace (active) and the other WordPress. (older-inactive)

I am thinking of stepping it up, but I need a strategy. Worldbuilding is such a lengthy process, that I know. I'd like to publish my tale and sharing it with my family is something I truly enjoy doing. I need to start somewhere.

- Aressida. 10.2.24.

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[writing-with-olive]

Hi! Mind helping me with a writing question? I'm trying to do a redemption arc, but this guy is really bad. I've yet to find something/someone he's not willing to sacrifice to get what he wants. The main problem is that he knows he's evil and LIKES it because its fun and gets him what he wants-- freedom and power. How do I make him WANT to be better and to get the audience to believe he deserves redemption? I've already taken him out of his position of power-- which he wants back. What next?

Hey anon!

So really quick, I wanna address a possible misconception:

Redemption is about realizing something was wrong and making the active decision to become better, and then following through. There is no such thing as deserving redemption, because that implies that if you screw up badly enough, you're not allowed to feel remorse or take steps to fix what you can. This may sound super nitpicky, but it changes a lot of the framing. It's not that suddenly the good guys like the redemption arc character - in fact you can have a redeemed character that the good guys Don't Trust, it's that the redemption character starts to realize they've messed up.

(more details below the cut including what makes a redemption arc, an example, and addressing specifics from your ask)

Alrighty, so what makes a redemption arc?

Although it manifests externally, it's nearly all internal conflict. This is because redemption is a conscious choice. You can put the character through all kinds of hell, but if their mindset doesn't change, they won't be able to redeem themself. (it looks like you know this, but I figured I'd say it anyway)

So we gotta figure out how to change their mindset. As I see it, there's two phases to this - the part where they refuse to acknowledge that they're changing, and will dismiss any notion of it, and the part where they consider that maybe changing won't be so bad. Also, another important element of mindset to consider is that there's often two layers of wants for a character; what they think they want, and the real driving factor underneath. It's that surface level thing that's gonna change, not the underlying one. That's how you make the change natural.

Let's look at Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender as an example (um... spoilers). For the bulk of the show, he's hell-bent on capturing the avatar because that's his ticket home, which is important to him because while he's in exile, he has no honor. He's considered a villain because he's in direct hostile opposition to the main characters. His arc is realizing that his honor is not predicated on returning home. He starts out in full villain mode for season one (though it's important to note that his misconceptions about the world are laid out - the audience can understand both the surface-level and driving force behind his actions), but by season two he seems to slowly be moving towards the "hey maybe I don't need to go home to the Fire Nation to be honorable - I can be happy here" camp. But when he has a clear opportunity to complete his mission and go to the Fire Nation with honor, he slams back to villainy at Mach 4 during the season 2 finale. This is important because if characters go smoothly from villain to hero it often doesn't feel really earned. It's only once he's back that he realizes that while he's regained his father's favor and is in the Fire Nation, and he's being told how honorable it is, it doesn't feel honorable to him. The surface level was satisfied but not the driving force. It's only after this realization that he's able to join the side of the heroes - and he's got to work for it. He has to undo as much of the damage he's caused as he can, all with the very real possibility that he will never be accepted by any of the good guys.

So.... to answer some of your points more directly:

1) he's evil and he knows it.

This, if you play it well, can actually help you. He's already got an understanding of morality, and even if he doesn't care right now about whether or not he's hurting anyone, he understands that it is technically bad. That means once he cares, he's got a framework to go off of.

2) it's fun and gets him freedom and power.

So when I look at this, here's my thought process. First, I feel like the aspect of "it's fun" is more of the byproduct - he enjoys the freedom and power he feels while being evil, which overrides any kind of moral squeamishness nonsense. The need to do evil is the surface level want of your character.

The driving force is the need to feel powerful and free. A big part of his redemption arc is going to be his definitions of what it means to be these things changing. Maybe power at the beginning means that people fear him, but it changes to mean people trust him. Maybe freedom at the beginning means no one tells him what to do, whereas at the end it means not having to look over his shoulder in case someone's coming to backstab him. I don't know if this is the direction you want to take your character, but the key idea here is that he doesn't have to change what he thinks he wants, it's what he means by those things that shifts. That's why it makes such a difference when they finally get what they thought they were after, only to realize that it doesn't satisfy their desire the way they thought it would.

3) how to make him want to get better?

At first, he won't. You can dangle that bait of his powerful position in front of him, and that's all he's going to see. That's good.

While he's unable to reach that position, however, maybe his normal way of doing things don't work. Maybe he tries to hurt someone and they get away with no problem and look down on this character (that lack of power would probably sting). Maybe he has to make a temporary ally to get out of a near-death situation, even if he fully intends to backstab the ally the first chance he gets.

Basically, you're throwing challenges at him where he has to try out different ways of doing things - this is what's going to sloooowwwly start to change his outlook on the world. Of course, he's probably not going to admit it, but the solutions he's forced to take show him the merits of whatever world outlook he's going to have in the end after he's committed to redemption.

Then, when it looks like he might be starting to turn good.... give him what he thinks he wants. And let it go horribly wrong.

He'll probably start off all triumphant, but quickly realize that it's not the end goal he thought he wanted. What he thinks of as power or freedom have shifted, and this position he's just regained doesn't really accommodate those new wants.

This is when he does a little bit of introspection and decides to fight like hell to redeem himself - what will get him to the new definitions of power and freedom? That's what his new goal is.

so hopefully this is useful. if you haven't seen avatar i highly recommend watching it - it's amazing :D

happy writing!

[banditthewriter]

Hi! Marriage anon here. Thank you for answering my question!!! In general, i actually think i made a terrible decision in regards to letting someone go because they kept bringing up kids and marriage and the whole shebang and as much as i would like that for myself, It makes me nervous.

I guess what mind boggles me the most about being married is the agreed upon decision to continuously want someone there? Like i do want that in theory… but i just can’t see myself opening up because it’s SCARY to me!! Like a good scary but. Scary nonetheless. Like. You literally choose a person and that’s that? Quite crazy.

Anyways. Not that i’m gonna tie the knot soon or anything. I do miss him and whatnot but i do wonder if i’m always going to be like this. I’m still in my mid 20’s so i have time to go back and forth but i’ve just been going through the motions.💕! I hope you’re feeling okay btw!!! Sorry for coming to your ask but also if any of your followers wanna chime in, please do 🥹

Hi dear! It can be hard to look back at those situations and wonder if you let go of something or someone, but marriage and kids are really big steps and if you're not ready, you're not ready. No outside force can convince you otherwise, although they can help, but it has to come from you. You have to decide what amount of nerves is okay and what you are willing to compromise on.

As for being boggled about the agreed upon decision to continuously want someone there...I mean, in the grand scheme of things, yes I always want Chaotic Neutral in my life, but do I always want him right there beside me? Well, mostly, but I have attachment issues. There are days that besides passing each other in common rooms, we don't see or talk to each other much because he'll sleep in the guest room or I'll sleep on the couch. It's not because we're fighting, just because we need our space and it's a small apartment. But in general, yes I do want him in my life, but that didn't happen over night (even if it feels like it sometimes). You said you can't see yourself opening up because it's scary and you're right. If you've been hurt before or had difficult upbringings or just haven't been exposed to healthy relationships and communication (even outside of romantic relationships) it can be hard to open up and trust someone. I still have a hard time opening up to CN even though we are married but we've found a way that works for us and we both know that we love each other and this is what we want. I never wanted to get married and if our situation was different, I can't 100% say we would have gotten married, but I can 100% say that we would still be together and be happy and in love even if we hadn't. I think that's something that you have to ask yourself too. If you do or don't get married, would that change your relationship? If you're getting married just to stay together...to me, that's not a good enough reason. If you'd be with that person forever even without that piece of paper? To me, that's a good indication that marriage can be on the table if both of you want it. There's no time limit on meeting someone and falling in love and getting married. Yes having children for child bearing humans can be hard after a certain age, but not always impossible. And there are other ways of having kids that are completely good ideas too. You don't have to have all the answers now, but asking the questions never hurts!

As for if you'll always be like that...no one knows what the future may hold. All you can do is take a step forward and see where that leads you.

Take care of yourself dear and as always, I'm here if you wanna chat!

[writtenonreceipts]

Hey there friend, may I ask you for some writing advice? I'm really sorry for jumping in your dms in order to ask writing advice but really you are the only one I can talk about it all...

Okay so the matter is this: I read a lot. Always did, always will. I learnt how to analyse literary works too. My problem is that I hate my writing style. To me it feels wrong, old, full of descriptions which fill the writing count in a way it seems to tell the wrong story, overnarrating and with empty dialogues. English is not my first language and I learnt it in a good way only a few years ago and I now the importance of using the right words so I have to look them up too. Even then it feels like I cannot convey the right message I want. Even in this ask, even with love cards I write to my boyfriend. It just seems to me that I am not truly able to use words.

How do you write so nicely? Have you some... I don't know, some tips for dialogues and not overdescripting (both surroundings and thoughts)?

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read my ask💐

-starry anon🌌

Hey friend! ✨️✨️✨️Don’t apologize at all!  I am more than willing to talk and answer any questions!  Thanks so much for reaching out and trusting me! I love talking about this stuff.

Your English is awesome!  ❤❤Good for you for learning and practicing.  That is amazing.  I wish I had the discipline with learning and keeping up with my Spanish.  I can get by, but it’s really not the best.

Anyways, I truly am humbled by your comments both in your desires to improve and your compliments to me.  More often than not, I just feel like I am barely functioning with language.  Words are hard.  Expressing ourselves is hard.  I think that there is something intimate about writing and expressing ourselves in any medium.  For me, my writing can be really personal.  A lot of my works (both fanfiction and original) have especially taken on a personal note that reflects my real life.

First and foremost--as writers, I think we are always hard on ourselves. It is so easy to compare to others around us. Especially in a place like tumblr when we often put value on notes or what others announce as their follower count. Please know, I think you are better than you think you are. We all have our individual specialties or nuances that we add to a story--that only we can create. Something that is so distinctly and directly you that no one can replicate. So please, please keep writing. And if you are ever comfortable enough, I would love to read what you have to share.

I took examples from some of my Original Works because the excerpts have gone through years of editing and thinking about and I just thought they illustrated these ideas best. Also get ready for rambling.

I’ve had people describe my writing as poetic and lyrical.  Multiple professors and people in my writing groups over the years have said so. Part of that comes from my desire to allow my writing to reflect who I am and what I’m feeling.  Truly, I don’t know where a lot of my style comes from.  Maybe my love of nature and desire to connect to the world and other people?  So I guess I put a lot of emphasis on those things?

Or maybe it comes from the fact I am too quiet in the real world and I just need to vomit all my thoughts into one place.  Maybe I hate being silent.  Hate being silenced.  Using punctuation and syntax plays a really big part in how I write too.  One of my professors had us study dozens of literary rules and styles and how to use different punctuations and diction rules and told us to go wild on how to reform and edit the same piece for an entire semester.  Let me tell you.  That was the biggest learning experience of my college career.

Because punctuation can be a means in making even a single sentence come to life.  It can make a paragraph come to life. For me, I like varying sentence length.  I like using long sentences to form that sense of rambling and great, long build ups.  And then, the short.  The choppy.  The quick little sentiments to break it up.

So down to it often where I start is with my own experiences and emotions.

This goes back to the idea of “Write what you know.”  For the most part, I support this.  It is important to keep that mindset and not over stretch your boundaries particularly in sensitive subjects.  As far as emotions go—I have become accustomed to grief and loss, depression and anxiety.  And I use these details to help be make my characters more real.  In a lot of my work, I do over emphasize some of these details and it takes a lot of editing to whittle this down.  Here are some ideas that I use with descriptions:

What ideas/descriptions help build and add onto the themes I want to cover:  When I write I always try and start with a theme or feeling that I want the story to go.  In one of Original Works, I wanted to create an atmosphere of fear and disconnect.  My characters are travelling through time and realms.  They are scared, lost, confused…and I like to hone on what I can do to add to those feelings.

This also applies to dialogue too.  One of my creative writing professors assigned us to people watch.  Go sit in a café, go walk the mall or somewhere with a lot of people—listen to their conversations and how they react both in words and expressions and body language.   Just to listen how people interact and engage in the real world. Though, I think with fiction we are allowed a little leeway in how we push the norms of conversation like Gilmore Girls of MCU Avengers, some of that dialogue just isn’t natural sometimes.

Words hold a lot of power.  Sometimes a conversation can relate the same thing descriptions do.

Here’s an example from my OG stuff:

“She may as well sleep all day,” Valek mutters. “She doesn’t do anything else.”

Mother whaps him on the head with her free hand, the other holding a pot of porridge.  She clicks her tongue at me, beckoning me over to her.

“Do you really have to make comments like that, Valek?” Lorne says. “You aren’t as useful as you seem to think.”

“At least I can speak,” Valek snaps. 

Here, I was working to set up how Brother 1- Valek does not have the best relationship with his sister.  He quite frankly doesn’t like her and thinks it’s her fault the Main Conflict takes place in the book.  Brother 2-Lorne, is often the brother off to the rescue of the sister.  It also sets up room for growth and change within Valek, and illustrates some of the family dynamics.

Ground the reader:  Tactile details are so important.  In setting up any scene I think it’s important to hit on at least three of the five senses. Help the reader feel like they are with the character so that they (the reader) don’t wander and lose themselves.  Now, I do suffer A LOT from purple prose.

Here is an example of something of my own from a first draft of the same story I reference above:

The cheers grow louder; the villagers are like a brook bubbling by with joy of their freedom.  They are worms, slinking against each other to get closer to the stage so they may watch the show.  Irrepressible rage froths within me.  Who are they to allow such a sentence?  They know nothing, nothing at all.  Collected together they may be able to dig a whole, but one would get distracted by a fly, the other enthralled by a worm, all the while staring at the clouds taking form. (this was first written in 2013)

Here is the most recent draft:

The cheers grow louder as the villagers react to the sheriff.  Rage froths within me.  Who are they to allow such a sentence?  They know nothing, nothing at all.  If they knew what we were once capable of…if only we could remember that too. (this most recent edit is from just last year)

See how much I cut out?  As much as I loved some of those images—bubbling brook, worms writhing around—they just didn’t fit.  They put too much attention on the villagers and not on my main character and her feelings and what she was feeling.  In this scene MC is witnessing her mother being hanged and her brother is holding her back.  Now, I did save those descriptions and I think I’ve put them in other places BUT, the thing I want to point out here is where I want the attention directed to.  The villagers aren’t important.  My MC is. So now the surrounding details are easily noticed and take greater precedence to the reader. They don't get lost in the "fluff" and "purple language."

Here is another bit from this story:

I try to scream as the village exhales.  My throat burns in desperation, though nothing but dry air scrapes its way out in a low hiss.  Valek’s calloused hands pull me away from the scene.  I thrash and try to hit him, but he’s too powerful.  Tears burn down my cheeks as candle wax that careens over the lip of the stand.  Eventually they will stop.  It won’t be for a long time, but the tears will harden and I will let Mother go. But not yet. 

I stretched the image of the melting candle to encompass all of what MC is feeling and use it to show her mind and the state she’s in.  Candle wax doesn’t harden immediately, just as her tears won’t stop.  She will be changed by this, just as a melted candle changes shape.

A lot of this comes down to practice.  Write more and edit more.  Plan.  I know I’ve said I hate planning and I am a failure at it, but when I do plan, everything tends to work out for the better.  Think of how you can simplify one description and watch for repetition in words and if you’re saying the same thing over to describe something.  There is a lot to be said about simplicity.  Know when you want to use lots of language and words and make every word significant.  Simplicity and significance.  One of my favorite professors taught me this and it helped me so, so much.

“The Chosen One” by Carol Lynch Williams, “The One and Only Ivan” by Applegate, heck even the “Hunger Games” are good examples of the above concept of the power of simplicity.

Some craft/style books I highly recommend: “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott, “Ordinary Genius” by Kim Addonizio, “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser.  Also Brandon Sanderson’s lecture series you can find on youtube.

thank you again for trusting me and asking me about this, I hope I didn't overstep any bounds as I went off on this. Remember, take what works for YOU. I just think it's a lot of fun to explore craft and style.

[ginjointsintheworld]

Why did this leyren breakup make me so much sadder than their first one though? Maybe because I knew that one was coming and hoped they’d work something else out this time. Oh look I answered my own question lmao. Anyway, I’m disappointed but not surprised. I don’t really have hope that they’re going to be a thing next season because there’s so little time and it seems like the writers can’t help but throw bullshit their way over and over again while taking forever to not even solve it…I also read that interview about the series finale and the showrunner sounds almost gleeful about things ending weirdly… he always says he loves them and wants things to work out when in reality it’s like. Dude, Dude. Just write it that way?! Like why the fuck is he even talking about you’re literally in charge buddy lmao

ack idk anon, that first breakup really put me through the meat grinder. plus i can’t even lie, i was very concerned that they were going to write leyla out, especially with her pulling the biggest game of hide and seek. something about this breakup makes me feel more hopeful and i guess it’s because i know there’s still so much love between them and this time it’s not muddied by hurt anger.

i have hope they're going to find their way back to each other next season because there's so little time to the finish line and they've already spent half the show investing in this ship. the writers set up arcs for everyone at the end of the season, max and helen and the very predictable case of the cold feet, iggy's divorce with martin, floyd and his father reconnecting, lauren and leyla kept apart by the visa circumstances. frankly, as long as they don't try to whip up another over arching plot that demands the attention of all the characters like they did this season with fuentes, i think it might work. this show has always done better where it could focus on a character's journey without distractions. s1 with max's cancer, lauren's addiction, helen's fertility issues and desire for a child, s2 with lauren's recovery, max grieving georgia, iggy's eating disorder, floyd's relationship with evie and going against his family's expectations. even s3, which i know was a mixed bag for people but i thought it was miles better than s4, it was lauren meeting leyla, max letting go of georgia, helen and mina, floyd's blossoming relationship with lyn, iggy's body image, self worth, struggles. they can handle one character's thing at a time.

now of course, as i always say, trust the writers as far as you can throw them and have optimism at your own peril lol. of course, i always respect any doom spiral or disappointment. but idk i guess that's still a chance i'm willing to take right now? these writers, demon man david in particular, love to be dramatic and drum up drama like they're gods watching down from mt. olympus. i've kinda learned to cut through their, 'will it OR WON'T IT DUN DUN DUNNN' speak and just focus on picking out their actual tidbits about episodes or the season. so i'm actually very curious to see his post finale interviews LOL.