paranoidpdsuggestion

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

everything freaks me out and makes me feel bad

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

OBVIOUSLY nobody should ever be abused and abuse is bad and abusers should not be coddled. I went through abuse myself, I know this

that being said. I don't think being a victim of abuse gives you the right to go around telling people that they remind you of your abuser for reasons they cannot control. it is unkind, unfair, and incredibly manipulative to treat other people this way. I don't care if it is because your abuser was an addict, or had a particular religious background, or had a particular disorder, or something else entirely. you cannot hold an entire group of people responsible for what happened to you

you are not morally obligated to spend time with people who remind you of your abuser. but you are morally obligated to treat other people with dignity and respect

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

It's hard to find relatable PPD content when looking through the general paranoia tag, because it seems people are convinced paranoia is this cool aesthetic where you talk about how people are watching you and post pictures of eyes in TVs, and not... a debilitating and terrifying symptom from mental illness and trauma

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

"why aren't you open with me?" *flashbacks to every time I've done that* idk man I guess that's just how I am

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

daily affirmations

you arent allowed to kill ppl

murder wont solve your problems

torturing the ppl you hate wont fix you

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

NPD + ASPD + PPD + AVPD culture is wanting praise and validation, but scrambling for the hills the moment you're perceived wrong over fishing for said attention, and cutting people off the moment they criticize you, or make you out to be in the wrong, because you were right to distrust their perceptions and motives, but you still need your supply, so you humor randos and anyone you need until it's suddenly inconvenient, and then you forget who they were, because they were never worth the supply to begin with; or at the very least, just completely pause all contact.

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

having ppd is so dumb because i'll constantly think that i'm faking and everybody knows i'm faking and i'm going to be publicly shamed and attacked. then you realize THAT'S PARANOIA

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[paranoidpdsuggestion]

i heavily suspect i have npd and ppd and

why

does everything feel like an insult to me

you said "hello, (my chosen name)" to me? what, are you making fun of me? do you not like my name? fuck you.

i get mad when im ignored and mad when im not ignored because it feels like they're putting me down, no matter what others seem to do

i like improving but unless phrased in certain ways constructive criticism feels like others are just trying to put me down without me being "allowed" to feel bad about it because they were "just trying to help"

i hate that everything feels like a sign that someone secretly hates me

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[paranoidpdsuggestion]

how it feels to be aware of your paranoias btw

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

I asked a friend who is a sociopath (diagnosed with ASPD, he refers to himself as a sociopath which is why I’m calling him that) what love feels like to him and how he knows when he loves someone.

I loved his answer. He said “Routine. If they are a part of my routine and feel familiar and comfortable and I would feel like something is missing if they weren’t there, then I think I love them.”

I have bpd with ASPD traits and I think his answer was so cute. I think that is what love is like for me too but I’ve never heard it so succinctly explained, perfect summarization.

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

you don't have to blame yourself for not living the life you thought you would be living at this point in your life. you can be proud of yourself for making it this far even if your life looks vastly different from the one you imagined.

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

does anybody else's paranoid thoughts center around the fear of the people around you secretly being just morally abhorrent in some way? im not so scared of people in my life hurting me directly but im constantly worrying that the people in my life keep some abhorrent beleif/behavior from me like dating a kid or being a lolicon or transphobe or something.

Oh god, yes. This is something I deal with very much - for me, it's an extension of my own 'panicked and obsessive need to be morally perfect'.

I keep on tabs for people I am friends/mutuals with, not only because I want to make sure they aren't plotting to do anything against me, but to also make sure they are not bad people in some way that will: 1. go against my own morals (that I am strongly passionate and stubborn over), 2. with their shitty behavior/beliefs/etc., somehow 'drag me down' with them as a result (mostly in terms of me being 'called out' or otherwise get in trouble for accidentally associating with these people).

I also just don't like it when people lie to me in general, including in relation to my moral stances, but that kinda goes without saying.

-Mod Clemont

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

NPD Culture is getting homicidal ideation towards people while simultaneously always feeling extremely guilty about harming people even on accident or joking about hurting anyone ever. Yes I want you to die in extremely gruesome ways, yes I will also spiral into an anxiety attack if people even so much as suggest hurting you as a joke.

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[paranoidpdsuggestion]

happy disability pride month to people who aren't proud of their disabilities. to people who would do anything to be able bodied or have a 'normal' brain. I see you

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

something i was thinking of: i know that BPD has a symptom referred to as 'stress-based paranoia'. but with BPD, which very often stems from long-term trauma and abuse and such, wouldn't it be - more often then not - that a pwBPD will be paranoid for one reason or another?

between the reason someone developed the disorder to begin with, and the very nature of it on it's own (unstable emotions, debilitating fear of abandonment, etc.), wouldn't someone with BPD be constantly stressed, and therefore paranoid, maybe even to the point that the person may believe they have PPD (or some other paranoid-themed disorder)? even if you have brief moments of peace, if you have BPD you know very well that those moments are short lived, at best.

of course, PPD does have symptoms that are unique to it and can very much be differentiated from BPD, whether you have both or not, but personality disorders are very comorbid with one another... and it's easy (and common) to end up having both BPD + PPD, but I feel with those two disorders in particular, it's probably hard to figure out if your paranoia is the 'stress based' version seen in usual borderline diagnoses, or 'constant' in paranoid diagnoses, unless you are not stressed for an extended period of time - which very often isn't achievable due to so many factors outside of the aforementioned nature of BPD, such as lack of IRL support and affordable/accessible mental healthcare. i imagine it could be easy to be misdiagnosed with PPD, whether by you self diagnosing it and getting it wrong (and that doesn't mean you were faking anything, by the way), or getting misdiagnosed by a professional - which happens more often than you might think.

anyway, with all that in mind, just know you all are welcome on this blog, even if you found out you don't actually have PPD via your journey of seeking understanding, support, community, and help on your mental health and recovery.

-Mod Clemont

[paranoidpdsuggestion]

honestly i think paranoia/mistrust and similar is one of the most justified feelings to have. i dont know a single person without some kind of betrayal trauma