#I don't think this is fun to read in terms of sentences and stuff sorry

[batsplat]

hello dr. batsplat! in your gossip post you listed the post-aragón 2015 rumor that vale went on to interrogate dani about why he raced him so hard, and how that is at the same time wildly unlikely but also would be fascinating from the character standpoint. i watched aragón a couple of times for my own purposes, but there were some bits along the way that made me think of it

first, it's the pre-race comment made by jorge's team manager wilko zeelenberg: "one: one never writes off valentino rossi, and two: we'll need some help from dani pedrosa". the british comms then milked it for all its worth. and after the race, in parc fermé, vale says in his interview, "i needed those five points more!" which is like. not a particularly outrageous thing to say, especially combined with vale's joking/self-deprecating tone, but, as you rightfully pointed out, marca is not a reliable source (don't trust them farther than you can throw their print copy...) you also said there was a second story they combined with the first one, about vale crashing a honda party in phillip island - so did the article come out after the australian race - or even after sepang? because then marca's implication would be that vale counted dani into the spanish conspiracy even if he didn't verbalize it

which overall tells us nothing in terms of like. Did It Actually Happen, HOWEVER. i, personally, think it would be fun and juicy if it DID and kind of marked the start of vale's descent. because, as you've also said, vale excels in one-on-ones, and always had dani covered... but not in aragón. is that the point where doubt starts creeping into his mind, that it's not the same as it was before, that he's not the same as he was? (i may be wildly misreading and dramatizing everything). and a LOT of people commented on how hard dani raced there, which is- first of all, why wouldn't he. but this, combined with his interactions with jorge (that podium is a pedrenzo shipper's paradise), maybe seemed... a touch suspicious.

yeah the story was published after sepang! but... uh, I'm gonna be honest, I wrote that gossip post quite quickly, did not check any of my sources and, well, I'm very sorry to the writers at el pais because I accidentally got my spanish papers mixed up. so, um, my sincere apologies to el pais for calling you marca, it will NOT happen again. here's the article which I'd copy pasted into my actual, y'know, notes (it was behind a paywall):

even though the dani rumour to the best of my knowledge originated here, I've seen only that one spread elsewhere - not the marc one. which isn't really surprising. getting mad at dani feels kinda newsworthy, kinda quirky, who gets mad at dani right. plus, the marc story really isn't all that believable. look, we won't ever know for sure.... but valentino interrupting a honda party to interrogate marc fits in with quite literally nothing we've heard from any involved parties, ever? marc has repeatedly said the sepang thing took him by surprise, that valentino had his phone number and didn't use it and all that, valentino has never made reference to this conversation, nobody at honda has ever mentioned anything like this... you watch the sepang presser and you just don't buy marc went into that with forewarning, right? how would his emotional reaction work in this hypothetical scenario? 'wow, valentino already complained to me directly about the stuff he's now accusing me of during a party a few days ago, but I guess I'm still surprised because I didn't think he'd talk about it in a presser'? like... it just doesn't feel right, does it

and, yeah, if you're reading an article and most of the paragraph you're on kinda sounds like bullshit, then you're going to treat the first two sentences with some scepticism too. the dani one is more plausible in that it hasn't been repeatedly directly contradicted by both major parties, but it does also feel. odd. this isn't how valentino handles his conflicts. if you want to know how valentino handles his conflicts, it's quite literally sepang 2015 - that weekend feels completely in-keeping with his conflict management (and escalation) in a way this aragon story just..... doesn't? he actively evades a private conversation with biaggi, he conducts his warfare with sete completely in the open (cf sepang 2004), same with casey, with jorge, with marc... I think what I wrote in the gossip post is that it'd be interesting because it would feel out of character, in a way that I don't really think anything else in 2015 is really does for valentino? again, I don't want to dismiss the article out of hand, but it does read more like an op-ed than actual reporting. and just to clarify, the piece isn't exactly trying to argue that valentino thought dani was involved with any conspiracy. it's more a general argument that valentino that year was unravelling, that he was demanding some distance from fans, that he'd manage to silence iannone (?) and so on. which, there's some truth to that - but even if everything in the piece is factually correct, the whole thing is pretty shoddy journalism. the aragon story has never to my knowledge been corroborated by another source - and the outlets I usually treat as reputable for motogp news didn't even report on it. could be true, might not be true, but it is very much a rumour spread around by a source with skin in the game

that being said! I do completely buy valentino was more frustrated by that race than he let on in public - and yes, his joking about how he would have really needed those points does encourage that impression. and yes, it is also pretty noteworthy as basically the only time dani bests him in extended combat. it's some very sturdy defending by dani's standards, a bit of a one-off performance in his career. by that point in the championship, every race felt extremely significant... you could say that race bears some surface level similarity to estoril 2006, where valentino lost a very close race to toni elias who really wasn't getting the better off him all that much (well, I suppose that one time he shoved valentino off-track at turkey 2007 lol). maybe also a little phillip island 2009, come to think of it, just a different championship picture. though those two are a little different - and in both estoril and phillip island I reckon it's fair to say valnetino was motivated to be more cautious than he was at aragon. I think it's... hm. I don't hate the interpretation it's the beginning of the end - honestly it is fun for narrative reasons! it's fun to look at turning points! but the way I personally read the 2015 season, I kinda think once you pass assen, pretty much every race contributes to that downfall? in one way or another

let's quickly go through them. *takes deep breath* in sachsenring, you've got a version of marc who is still clearly hung up about assen and shows as much in his presser answers. he does more or less manage to get over it during the summer break, which is the chance for a bit of a reset for everyone, but by that point the damage has already been done. from then on, there's several moments in these pressers where marc is getting asked about the title fight, is saying that 'well valentino is slower but he's been very consistent!!' again and again, is being constantly asked about his potential role as kingmaker and it's all very sword of damocles given valentino is sitting Right There... indy and brno work as this duo of races that make the title feel like it's slipping away from valentino, and at brno valentino relinquishes the championship lead for the first time (if only on countback). at brno, marc also decides to kinda harass him during qualifying (he'd already done his last flying lap so wasn't just catching a tow) - and they're asked about it in press, they joke about it, but it's just another moment where once again.... if that's one of the things valentino remembers from that weekend? not ideal. silverstone is just stress, and yes it massively helps valentino in the championship, the rain was a gift from god... but also you've got this niggling sensation of 'wow marc really is harassing valentino around that track, he kinda wasn't in control of that bike', and then marc crashes - and you end that weekend with a sense that jorge actually got a lucky break of his own to limit the points damage. misano is again helpful for valentino's championship, again is heightened stress due to the flag-to-flag conditions, again there's a sliding doors moment or two where you feel valentino should have gotten more of a points buffer out it, it's also the heightened stress of his home race and how the fans Just Will Not Leave Him Alone... plus silverstone and misano are on-track confrontations with marc that valentino has explicitly referred back to as moments where his suspicions were aroused. aragon, never been one of his favourite tracks where he was already in damage limitation mode but then would have expected to get past dani in direct combat... not the easiest of tracks for making overtakes stick and gets repeatedly cut back and frustrated (just ask marc about that kind of aragon experience lol). the fact that motegi/phillip island/sepang is a flyaway triple header, exhausting and away from home and already so very late into the season... everything about motegi was extremely stressful - that moment in the race when it looked like valentino might be proper fucked when dani got past until it became clear he actually could follow dani past jorge on his slightly healthier tyres in that kinda odd race. after the race, reporters commented that this was as physically exhausted as they'd ever seen valentino - who had worked so hard on his fitness for this season but, y'know, age comes for us all... this was taking so much more out of him than it ever had. and then you get to phillip island!! a mere week later! where he never quite looked like he had the pace for the victory, but kept himself in that lead fight through sheer intransigence and could take advantage of the other riders getting in each others' ways - before ultimately coming away with a disappointing result. and then sepang is a mere week after that, but I've heard that one at least was a quiet one

the point here is that it's a cumulative effect. I think aragon does stand out a little bit in that it's arguably the first of only two times that season valentino actually gets bested in wheel-to-wheel combat. but... I mean, his issue that year definitely wasn't the w2w stuff and all in all he would've LOVED to Actually Fight Jorge. it's a lot harder to fuck with a rival when they're always ten seconds up or down the road. I also don't think he really needed a moment of realisation that season about his waning abilities as a rider. he'd had four years worth of realisation that he wasn't the rider he was in his prime any more! stuff like aragon may have served as a brutal reminder, but at the end of the day 2015 was quite explicitly a campaign of relentless maximisation, a title charge built on podium rather than victories (see here). 2015 is such a defensive title campaign that his prevailing mode isn't cockiness... it's creeping desperation. he was also constantly being reminded by literally everyone that jorge was faster than him (including by marc, repeatedly), which he never complained about but like... how could that not piss you off? or maybe not even piss you off as much as it just... makes your resolve even greater, makes the stakes even higher to you. nobody thought you could do this after valencia 2013, everyone thought it was over for you, now they still won't trust in your abilities and you have to prove them wrong... the worst thing about aragon imo was that it comes just... as a reminder, as a way of twisting in the knife a little further. one more frustration in a season that felt full of them

the fun thing about 2015 narratively is that it's like,, custom-built to gradually chip away at valentino's sanity, at a time when he'd mostly ditched all his old tricks. he's reserved in his race-by-race celebrations (watch catalunya 2009/assen 2015 side by side and this might as well be a different person), he's not massively attempting to fuck with jorge in the press, he shows uncharacteristic restraint every time marc gets a wee bit weird towards him... he's just keeping his head down, working to get his tenth. but, well, in an odd way I do think that probably... didn't help? like, the reason why sepang is so fucked is because valentino didn't just have a normal fight with marc after assen. this entire season was a pressure cooker, and valentino just didn't use any of his usual outlets to blow off some steam. which is dramatically fun and juicy in itself - if valentino had just been kinda normal 2009 levels of bitchy towards jorge throughout the course of the season, if he'd had a go at marc after assen, hell, even if he'd insinuated dani was pursuing a pro-jorge agenda during aragon... I'm not saying bickering with your rivals is a healthy way of dealing with stress, but kinda a little bit? if that's how you've been doing your title fights historically, minus 2006 (which does in itself maybe go to show a little bit of feuding did help him), then if you're just going cold turkey... suddenly you get a sepang 2015 coming out of nowhere. because you have all this stuff festering inside valentino and he didn't just have a go at a rival to clear his head a bit

here's my 'pro aragon 2015 as a turning point' case: I was mentally going through his title-winning years and trying to think of him actually losing this type of duel and... well, he doesn't really do a lot of it? nothing in 2001 I don't think, then you have those two barros wins in 2002 (the streets won't forget) but the title is already extremely wrapped up by then, maybe ukawa at welkom, 2003... okay, that one's the outlier - arguably welkom and catalunya, definitely le mans and sachsenring - but crucially the sachsenring defeat pissed him off so bad it sent him into a bit of an existential crisis... which does go to show that repeated w2w defeats can and will get to him. 2004... I mean, maybe le mans at a stretch. 2005 there isn't really anything. (2006 has estoril and 2007 has qatar + catalunya.) 2008 has... well, depends on whether you count estoril has a prolonged duel, same with what you call 2009 phillip island. but especially like,, this second half of the season 'ooh gotta be sensible with the title fight' type duel he only very, very rarely lost. when you consider that plus his direct w2w record against dani... from that pov, I think you can say that aragon 2015 certainly didn't HELP his flagging confidence levels - and neither did having to perceive his teammate throwing himself onto dani in parc fermé right in front of his salad. that season is death by a thousand cuts, but some cuts will always sting particularly badly. aragon was right before the triple header... perhaps you can call it a tipping point for the ruin to come

[topaz-carbuncle]

OC in 15: Valerie Michaelis

rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Thank you for the tag @crownleys! <3

I have been missing Val and Nate a lot recently, so it's been fun to go through my older stuff for this, especially as she's the OC who got the most love so far in terms of written dialogue!

Dialogue from posted works will be marked with " <x>"!

1: "Nate...I'm sorry, but I couldn't just sit and hide while you got hurt, especially not because of me. I might not be anything special, like you four are, but do you think I could bear to stand by and watch you get hurt either? I know that you are trying to protect me and I appreciate that so much…But you need to let me work with you, as a team. You need to trust that I can do this, that I can be a part of your world." <x>

2: “I promise. I’m sorry for worrying you, I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you,” she gives him a watery giggle, a giggle that transforms into a shy smile as he raises a neat eyebrow at her- urging her to continue, “we really make quite the pair, don’t we? Constantly worried for the other, to the point of ignoring our own safety and how it would affect those around us.” <x>

3: As if on cue, Val’s melodic voice cuts through Adam’s rant before Nate could even raise a hand to interrupt him. “Aww, you do care about me!” <x>

4: With her hands still on his chest, she looks up at him bashfully, biting her lip as she considers her words. “Is this a bad time to admit that, despite being the one to suggest that we come to the beach, I don’t actually know how to swim…?” <x>

5: “Well, most children who have parents to take them on holiday probably do.” She struggles to keep the bitterness out of her voice, wincing slightly as she sees the sadness in Nate’s eyes, the same sadness that plagues him whenever she brought up her childhood...Or lack thereof. “But this is my first holiday! My first family holiday, so it would be nice if one of you could teach me…?” <x>

6: “Punishment… what punishment?” Before she can fully register the situation, a cold gust of wind brushes past her as she stares up at Mason in confusion, slowly realising that her vampiric defence had vanished from in front of her. “Wait… Et tu, Nate?” <x>

7: “I’m not exactly sure where to start,” Val runs her hands through her hair as she paces, the action doing very little to bring her comfort as she tries to pull at the stitches holding her heart and mind together, “or how to start actually… This might take a while. It might take a few days.” <x>

8: “No, she didn’t know. I had changed my emergency contact for the hospital to Tina a few years before that. If Mum knew…she certainly never visited, so there's a good chance she doesn’t know at all. She can’t know, Nate. I’m sorry to throw all this onto you like that.” <x>

9: She cocks an eyebrow up at him before giving him her best dramatic gasp, her hand planted on her chest, "Agent Sewell, do you mean to tell me that you've been snooping through my possessions? What would the others say?"

10: "Yeah well...It's about to sound a lot more like begging in roughly 2 minutes if that disgusting spider isn't dealt with. Are you all here to watch, or can one of you do something since Adam is more content to be a pain in the arse?"

11: "Are you proposing to me, Agent Sewell?" She peers up at him through her eyelashes, the humour in her voice falters as hope takes over.

12: "Am I doing this right?" She breathes out a small laugh at the adorably confused look he sends her way. "I'm not doing a very good job at coherently starting my sentence. It's just… I'm worried that I don't know how to love properly, it's not like I had an example to follow while growing up."

13: “A lot of people prefer putting their thoughts out for the public to read. This can work out well for me when the station finds evidence out in the virtual open like this, you have no idea how many people incriminate themselves through this. Books can be burnt, but this? This stuff is forever, so uh…be careful if you plan on committing any crimes and then posting about it online.”

14: "And you are a powerful man, Agent Sewell."

15: "...Yes Nathaniel ?" <x>

Tagging: @serenpedac @lucysarah-c, @humanitys-strongest-bamf, @youre-ackermine, @l3visthighs! (i'm not sure if some of you have oc's that you write for, but it could be fun to show some "reader" dialogues as well / instead of! <3)

[chzdavmpr]

Delicious in Dungeon Reading Diary Vol 4

Spoilers below

First thing I notice about this volume is that the red dragon is very central on the front and back cover, and the table on contents has 6 chapters of red dragon.

Also while I'm talking about the volume cover I gotra say I love the art on these things

Like they look like they make food/wash dishes WHILE fighting the monsters, and Senshi is just doing a little mario hop with his fried rice. And all of the other covers have been similarly pleasant. Plus I love how the red boarder helps add both visual cohesion between volumes as well a nice bit of flair that helps it stand out amongst other manga.

That's how they teleported out of the dungeon? I was expecting the flash of light thing Falin did. Could it be that their gear wouldn't come with them? I don't think so if they kept their stuff on them. Must just be different methods.

Also this might be more evidence for my "living paintings are time portals" theory. Not quite sure yet.

It's very smart to go over the rules of death and resurrection in more detail now, considering what the whole point of this mission is. It both keeps stakes alive and adds tension to if Falin can even be revived.

Go off, King.

I've seen this panel before, I did NOT expect it to be in such tense context.

And the dragon is down! I gotta say that was some excellent action, all the tactics were creative, both made sense for the characters to use, as well as made sense why they failed. Plus it was just really cool, the ending bit with Laios getting his leg bit especially.

Quite morbid how Laios is basically just doing a fun jigsaw puzzle with his own sister's bones.

DON'T SHOW THE NUTRITIONAL INFO!!!

Wait are they seriously not gonna tell Falin about how she was a skeleton for like a month? Like when someone asks "did I died" I feel one of the worst things you can say is "don't worry about it." Maybe it's just a translation thing idk.

Falin no longer having brockitis* anymore is significant. It will be very relevant. I feel it in my bones.

*brockitis: a term used by the anime community to describe a character with perpetually closed eyes, named after Brock from Pokemon

I'm sorry, you have NO follow up questions? Cause I sure have a few; what resident, this place is abandoned? Or that's one of the fake doors so how was there someone there? Or were they a ghost? Laios is not beating the himbo allegations.

YOU!

Honestly it's good news to see this guy. Partially cause it's a cool new plothook, but more importantly some of my living painting questions might be answered!

I just think the mermaid is drawn real cute here.

Laios had a whole 2-second crisis over being a fake dragon fan.

Closing thoughts for the volume: the best so far. 10/10. Not only does it finish off the overarching plot so far with a really cool action scene, but sets up a lot of questions to get answered later. Plus the tension is really well done, pretty much from the point in the first chapter where they explain there are limits to resurrection to the point where Falin speaks a complete sentence there was that gripping sense of both danger and uncertainty, it makes it gripping enough to where I decently easily finished this volume in 1 sitting. While I think the coming volume or 2 will have to some work to get me invested in the next adventure I am more then confident that it can be done.

[skrunksthatwunk]

HI IT'S SQUISHY fic ask game time:

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

:3

YAHOO HI SQUISHY TY FOR THE ASK >:33

ok uhhhh uh uh

F: i think if i had to choose anything, it'd probably be the cat petting circle scene from and who do you think i'll be (without you)?, because i am. really really bad at juggling more than like 3 characters in a scene and this has FIVE and it's still really fun to read, at least for me. it's dynamic, though admittedly the attention still mostly falls on kuwabara and yusuke (sorry keiko </3 i wish you were more prominent in this one but alas) everyone carries some weight. i'm also not great at understanding (and thus writing) anger, so yusuke's bubbling frustration through the scene is like.. kinda cool to me. (a/n: eikichi is kuwabara's cat lol)

i'm also including another two from this same fic bc i think they're neat as well :)

(i'll put a transcript of the screenshots at the end under the read more)

honestly, i love writing yusuke's dialogue no matter what he's saying, so this fic's got a few moments i'm very fond of, but didn't include. anyway it's the only good thing i've ever written (<- exaggerating, but it's probably my favorite fic i've written, and maybe favorite prose piece)

i also remember enjoying some of the dialogue between sagawa and majima in tough love for loveless things, and i assume i liked a lot of the stuff for i long for you and your expert hands, but i... haven't revisited that one in a long time (idk why but i'm a little afraid to?? i haven't forgotten it though), so i couldn't point to anything specific really ^ ^'

I: hm... i think i overindulge in characters just talking about nothing, at least when it comes to my writing. if i like them, i like hearing them talk about nothing, and it tends to bloat scenes and drag on, i figure. i also tend to gravitate towards really specific intensely described points of imagery that barely come up again and totally break the flow of the scene (oops). in terms of guilty pleasures in reading, uh...? i'm kind of a sucker for werewolf stuff because i got that dog in me. im drawing a blank ig sorry <3 OH i've always been hopelessly fond of whump / hurt/comfort / sickfic STUFF. legit since i was a child. i like it when they're out of it i like it when they're woozy. and anything with dumb hijinks and/or slapstick is good to me. comedy's hard and i like seeing idiots be idiots. and really introspective/inner monologue heavy pieces are mmmmwah for writing and reading

R: oh man. whatever i'm currently reading often ends up influencing my writing in noticeable (to me) ways. one time i was writing smth for my fiction writing class and i typed out a sentence that felt at once like smth dr seuss would write (you'll never guess what unit my children's lit class was on) and a line from lolita (because that's what i was reading at the time). it's a mashup that worked weirdly well. ANYWAY to actually answer the question, the little prince ruined me as a kid, and a lot of the way i express sadness and emptiness is channeling saint-exupery there. currently, arkady martine and andzrej sapkowski have been influencing my scenery descriptions in particular, because that's what i was most recently reading, but earlier this year i remember cormac mccarthy's the road finding its way under my pen a lot. for really flowery stuff (i don't think you see it much in my fics, but it's not Never), i think of alfred tennyson's maud quite often. this is not a conclusive list im just empty brained :P

X: ohhohohohohhh. god help me but i love making all of them suffer. to love something is to vivi/dissect it. currently kuwabara is the one i'm putting through the most though (<- channeling personal issues into this orange guy), but majima and kiryu were always lots of fun to break down >:). perhaps that's the real answer to the guilty pleasure section

[SCREENSHOT 1]:

“Hey, why’s she goin’ to Kurama and you and not me?” Yusuke complained, pouting at Keiko.

Kuwabara piped up. “Maybe it’s ‘cuz they have manners, unlike some of us.”

“Or patience,” Botan offered.

Yusuke stuck out his leg and prodded Kuwabara’s arm. “Yeah, and how’re your manners workin’ out for ya? You still look like someone’s been playin’ tic-tac-toe on your hands or did she become a saint overnight?”

“Shut up, Urameshi.”

Keiko spoke up from her spot on the floor. “Aw, I think she’s just sweet. Right?” She put her chin on her folded arms and gently rubbed at Eikichi’s cheek. With a warm smile, Keiko turned her head into her arms further, squishing her face, openly endeared. “Even if she bites sometimes.”

“Finally, someone gets it,” Kuwabara moaned. “Keiko, tell Urameshi that for me, will ya?”

Yusuke didn’t buy it. “If she was sweet she’d be sweet to me, too.”

“Benevolence is nearly always conditional,” Kurama said, leaning over to rub Eikichi’s ears. “Perhaps she senses your standoffishness and simply chooses not to engage with someone who does not seem to want her.” Kurama’s brilliant green eyes swept back to Yusuke for emphasis. “You two may have that in common.”

“Wh—?!” Yusuke spluttered a bit, before settling on, “Watch it, fox boy.”

“Aw,” Botan giggled, “Yusuke, it’s alright, you know. Some of us just have an animal-like charm. Meow meow!” She hooked her hands like paws.

“Right, and I’m saying Eikichi’s not so charming. I mean, she’s been ignoring you, too, Botan, whaddyou think?”

“Oh, she’s just lovely! Simply adorable,” Botan cooed.

“Heheh, looks like you’re outnumbered, Urameshi!”

[SCREENSHOT 2]:

Rocking his chair back lazily, Yusuke noticed Kuwabara’s scratch-laced hands and whistled. “Damn, Kuwabara. It’s kinda beating you up, huh? That cat o’ yours. You look like you just fought me, only smaller.”

“For the last time, Urameshi, Eikichi’s a she! Quit it with the it crap or I’ll knock you into next Sunday brunch.” He jabbed his chopsticks at Yusuke pointedly. “And I don’t think you could get any smaller.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. She’s beating the shit outta you. But what’s with that? I thought kittens were s’posed to be all cute n’ cuddly.” Yusuke swirled his drink thoughtfully before taking a swig.

“You’ve never had a kitten, have you, Urameshi?” Kuwabara deadpanned. He had the right to do that now that he was a cat-rearing expert, as if he hadn't learned it very recently himself.

“No. ’M not really crazy about animals. Neither's my mom.” Under his breath, Yusuke added, “Knowing her, that’s probably for the best.”

“Wh—? How?!” 

Yusuke shrugged.

Kuwabara huffed. “Ugh, she’s teething right now, okay? And I haven’t got her a scratching post yet. She’ll grow out of it, you’ll see.”

“Whatever you say, man. Just try not to lose any limbs waiting for her to get manners, arright? Don’t wanna make our fights even more one-sided. That’d just be sad.”

“Yeah, right, Urameshi.” Kuwabara puffed out his chest. “Eikichi could take two o’ my limbs and I’d still wipe the street with ya.”

“Hey, try beating me with four limbs first, tough guy.”

The conversation devolved into threats and bickering from there, culminating in little more than wrinkled uniforms and mussed hair-dos, and one final exchange.

“You haven’t even met her, Urameshi, so how could you know what she’s like?”

“‘Cuz you’re carryin’ the proof right there, stupid! Look, don’t take it so personal. I just don’t feel like spending all day roughhousing with someone that far beneath my weight class, even if she is the precious little angel you say she is."

[SCREENSHOT 3]:

Yusuke lounged on the floor, Eikichi sitting on his chest and staring down at him.

“What’re you starin’ at, Stinkass?”

Kuwabara scoffed loudly, fluffing out the pillow Yusuke would use.

Yusuke smirked at him. “Oh, I’m sorry, your highness, I left my manners at home.” He cleared his throat. “What are you staring at, Her Royal Majesty the Queen Stinkass?”

“Man, why'dya only pick mean pet names to give ‘er?” It came out a bit harsher than he meant.

“What?” Yusuke began to sit up, but stopped when he remembered Eikichi’s place on him. He dropped back down and shut his eyes lazily. “These aren’t pet names, they’re, like, insults. That I don’t mean.”

“So ‘Stinkass’ is your idea of an affectionate nickname?”

“Gee, you don’t have to make it sound so damn girly. I’m just callin’ her that ‘cause I like her.”

“Ooh~ so you like her, huh?” Kuwabara sat up on his knees and—once Eikichi got the hint and clambered off—smacked Yusuke’s face with his pillow, holding it over his face. “Whatever happened to not bein’ mushy, tough guy?”

Yusuke wrenched the pillow from his grip and lazily swung it at him, not bothering to get up. “Hey, you told me she doesn’t judge about that sorta thing, right? And I’m learnin’ there’s benefits to bein’ mushy, like kicking ass better.” He shifted to crack his back, then sighed, relaxing into the floor. “I’m just sticking to my way, and sometimes that means calling her Kuwabara’s Favorite Little Shitblaster or whatever.”

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

hii <3

i indeed would like to ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story :))

your rambling is everything, so go wild on poor little meow meow Larissa and our favourite menace Wednesday hehe

hiiiii!!! sorry it took me a bit before my brain got less mushy and i could string coherent sentences together! i'm still very much sick though so excuse me if i ramble a bit too much lol.

okay so these two live in my brain rent free now. it started off more as a challenge? or something to be like wooo controversy, and like. how can i make this work. but even though it started that way i never intended it to be like, badly done. from the get-go i put a lot of thought into it and wanted to actually make the story as high-quality as i could in terms of character development, their relationship and all the technical aspects (you know as you are one of the betas haha, and you know how many times i tweaked things, proofread, and how many times zephyr and i went through it). like i wanted to develop it as much as one can reasonably do in 14 chapters without getting sidetracked. and that was supposed to be the gimmick, like oh some ppl are gonna think it's controversial but it is actually well done and they might still be inclined to read it if they just bothered to try! (like a naive lil disney princess i forgot this is the internet lol)

the more i got into the story, the more i adored these two and their dynamic, or rather the dynamic i created for them. i think they just work, or more like, i've made them work. ppl have accused me of being a pedophile multiple times in the last couple of weeks while i've been posting the story lol, and asked me if i ship them in the show now, which is imo just fucking ridiculous. this is a separate universe that builds on what we had, or rather should have had, in the show, a story about two grown women who are both very odd in different ways and have found love and belonging with each other. i think neither of them could do a conventional relationship in my universe, and so this makes perfect sense for them!

i love writing larissa as a poor lil meow meow. there is just something about a pathetic, lonely middle aged woman that makes my brain go brrrrrrr. and wednesday is just a delight to write. i love channeling her voice. i used to be a lot like wednesday as a teen lol, that's sorta how i talked (i had no friends lol), so channeling her is a fun blast from the past and feels very natural to write.

it was a joy to write tbh! and personally, i don't think it's like.... even that out there or particularly (hehe) controversial? it's very much a coming of age rom-com sort of thing, but make it like... Quirky and include some dark humour. the outraged reactions i got to it honestly made me wanna write actually controversial stuff lol. i tend to want to spite the haters :)) and prove my point that fiction is fiction. i am very annoyed by the whole puritan internet culture, it really fucking irks me, esp when it's enforced by the self-proclaimed weirdos and goths and whatnot, who don't know what pedophilia even is lol nor could recognise it in fiction or real life. i know i won't get my point across to people who have already made up their mind about me being the actual pedophilic devil, but i will sure have my fun! i can't wait to challenge myself again! :))

also "particular" really inspired me to write longer works!! and i learned that i am most comfortable with that sort of format. all the things i am planning in the future are multi-chapter fics and rather long! and how i prefer to do it now is to write it all in advance and then post -- that way i know i won't lose interest midway haha. i am motivated by that sweet dopamine of wanting to share my work!

so yeah, i met some lovely people bc of this story (looking at you @the-frankenman-writes, actual gem and joy and delight), i strengthened some friendships, and i think it definitely made an impact on people! i grew a lot as a writer and it pushed me to refine my skills! so all in all, i'm very happy <3

stay tuned for the last chapter!!! a christmas special! :)))

[sevens-evan]

10, 32, 40

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

i feel like i don't go in for Tropes so much as i have a list of authors that i like and will read most anything from. that said i do love a soulmates au, i am at heart an extremely cheesy romantic and it just hits different. i don't know if that's a Trope in the true sense of the word but whatever. other than that i can't really think of any? maybe There's Only One Bed, i do enjoy that when it's done well. can be very fun. in terms of other broader aus i love any au where it's clear that this is the author's extremely specific interest. top tier. mwah.

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

i think i use a lot of body language/descriptions constantly, ie writing blake's anxiety i'm always talking about the chest ache and the nausea, which is just stuff that's very grounded in my own experiences. uhhh i reuse the same sentence structure so much that i'm genuinely trying to catch it in editing now, which is like: [character] does [action] [adjective], [second action]-ing at the same time. gets very repetitive after awhile. and then i tend to very overdescribe muscle anatomy in smut because of my goddamn gym rat brain (as you flagged the other day lol). but i don't know if i have a specific phrase or expression that i lean on, i think readers would more likely catch that than i would.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

pleading "have a headache" on this one sorry LSDJKGGDSHK

writing asks

[daz4i]

Honestly I'm with you that it is pretty hard not to get jealous whenever a fic gets suuuuper popular like that. Like when they write a fic, they get an entire fan base and waves upon waves of fanart; when I write a fic I get like three single sentence comments and one person listing every single thing wrong with it.

I know they don't decide to have that happen but like... What am I doing wrong? I'm trying my absolute best, I'm rereading and rewriting like ten times to make sure it's as perfect as it could possibly be, but no matter what I try, nothing works. Meanwhile they're like "yeah sorry wasn't feeling too well lately so this chapters not as good" and they get hundreds of comments, playlists for the their fic and a whole gallery worth of fan art.

Maybe I'm just bitter but it really does just crush your motivation and self esteem after a while.

this is an understandable reaction tbh 😔

for what it's worth, i don't think you're doing anything wrong. i can't say for sure bc none of my fics ever reached wild popularity or smth but i assume in their case it's a combination of

popular ship in an already popular fandom (also, gen usually doesn't catch on unless you're VERY lucky)

existing following. i noticed a lot of popular fic writers usually have a bunch of followers from stuff like art already

luck. ofc

common tropes. easily digestible stuff that is kind of familiar

length and consistent long term updates usually help (like, spreading it out as multiple updates keeps you at the top of tags when ppl click them)

this isn't for all of them. but like. one thing i noticed. and i mean this nicely. is smth i wanna call wattpad-style writing? kind of an underlying edgy vibe like more swears and ppl reacting to things in kind of extreme ways at times. every most-popular-fic-in-the-fandom i read fit that description, so. (i assume it's bc a big part of any fandom is teenagers, and this, well, fits a teen mindset)

if you don't wanna fall into common tropes and stick only to popular ships, it's better to stick to writing for fun, as hard as it is sometimes with no external validation 😔

i see why this would be very discouraging. i think ik who you are off-anon, and if I'm right then i saw comments you got on fics before, and yeah i would definitely get discouraged by these too

i think if you don't gain any joy from writing, it may be good to find an additional hobby, or try a different type of writing for now maybe :? (like if fics aren't working, try original work. or dabble in poetry. or switch up the genres etc. doesn't even have to be a long term thing, just to scratch the creative itch for now, and maybe get inspired to write what you're used to again)

i imagine you're probably tired of hearing that you should write for you and don't have to post it. bc i get wanting to get validation. so instead I'll tell you this is an extremely valid feeling, including the jealousy part. this is a very normal reaction honestly, and i could never blame you for having it

i will say tho! you should channel that feeling somewhere. not for others, but for your own sake. don't let bitterness eat at you or you'll always be miserable, and you deserve better than that :(

finding a new hobby can help with self-esteem (like, for example, baking smth and enjoying how it tastes, and feeling proud of yourself for making smth that tastes good) and is a good way to let out creative energy! it will take time, but maybe slowly you'll be able to lay out building blocks that will eventually make you feel confident enough in your own creation to not need external validation :0!

(ofc, you don't have to listen to any of this. please make sure to go at your own pace as well! either way i hope things turn out well for you, and i thank you for sharing your honest feelings with me!!)

[origami10]

I lied, I couldn't stop reading. Chard (huh) has a friend?? Also there's some kinda-whump in this, I didn't remember that. OH SWEET I wrote the songs I was listening too as I was writing this part XD yay for having old iPod so I can go right back to them (right down to "Track 02") Oh huh, Coura's characterization has changed, too... sort of? Maybe she's restored. AH I forgot about the misunderstood murder plot! Or, it's misunderstood in a different way than I thought! (Or IS it??) oh uh HM well THERE's a term choice... [there's a later author's note that says I felt similarly about it back then, so probably worth a change.] Wow some parts of this are written very explicitly (not in the nsf sense but in the... you sound like you're breaking the fourth wall sense).

Okay sorry this passage is really too funny not to copy here:

Flem wished he could switch beds with Westric. Then, late at night, he could look out the still-dirty window at the moon and feel all romantic and gooey. As it was he had to manage romantic and gooey without the benefit of the full moon’s help. The lack of moon really left a hole in Flem’s picture of himself as a hopeless romantic, melancholy and unbearably lonely a thousand leagues from his one true love.

I definitely did some rereading at some point because the author's notes have the advantage of hindsight. Also hm, this really ran off the rails in this section, I think I ran out of ideas for scenes. Okay, I didn't think the lake was THAT close. I guess it does have a river...? Okay there's way too much character exposition text instead of showing XD ("His failure at the task for which he had high expectations made him angry." LOL) But whatever! It's helpful for me now! Hm. I forget why I was so obsessed with parts of boats when I was younger but all of that definitely got dumped onto Westric. It is kinda nice to have this story because it does gather up a lot of things about myself in a very solid way!

How you can tell this is a Nano story: (apart from that there are no contractions)

""Westric, we made a bet. You lost. Now give me the money, or I will… look up a punishment for you on a threat generator! Yeah, that is what I will do. Those can be pretty awful, you know, you might even die if I do what it tells me to do." Shea said this because it makes no sense."

This is kind of interesting because most of the scenes I remembered ARE written down here... so maybe it is important to write them instead of... thinking of them first...

WAIT Shea has theories about the murder plot? Now it would be kind of extra funny if he WAS in on it. Oh wow Jecui character development??? I guess I actually was awake when I wrote this part?? Wow this is actually intense o.o I take back the comments about being embarrassing, I like this part! Wait did I write this before JECUI was part of the plot??? Lol some sentences are definitely written out for me to tell myself what's going on. Ha, 80% of the way through and my main character finally appears. Ah, Scorch half right half not. Ahhh, the chicken, I do remember writing that part. Flem has a feather hat huh? And trains, what? Aaaaand we're back to the embarrassing part. Definitely didn't remember Jecui and Char(d) getting along this well, but it's fun. Actually this writing is really interesting because it has the same problem I was just feeling in an actually published (translated) book, namely that some of the word choices don't match the setting. Also I guess I already have a secondary assassin if I need one? Forgot about that character. Aha, the spiral staircase finally shows up. Oh yay! Prepin, I forgot her name!! Oh huh, so the document's not divorce papers. There are a lot more descriptions of clothing in here than I remembered. Wow, it ends with Shea's hair turning pink, huh.

Okay, so there's very little actual substance in this, but it's still fun, there's good stuff, especially characterization. How the heck do people write whole books in 50,000 words?? This feels like, like, a chapter. Not when writing, but when trying to get out what I want the story to be.

I drew art of my since-middle-school OCs for the very first time! Just when I was lamenting wanting to do something big and exciting in 2023, this feels like it counts!

[because-of-a-friend]

Seventeen Reaction: You Suddenly Being Shy

MASTERLIST

Thanks for the request anon! Hope you like it!!!!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

He thinks is the cutest thing in the world and he also cannot believe he has that kind of sway over you. He's like????? They're shy around me?????? He'll do a lot of cute little things to try and get you to relax around him and be more comfortable being yourself around him. When you're not super close, he'll do random things to make himself look ridiculous so if he's intimidating to you at all, he seems less so. Then as you grow more comfortable with each other, anytime he notices you becoming quiet he'll do something like plucking your chin or some other cute gesture that he knows you'll have some sort of witty comeback for. He appreciates and adores both sides of you, but always wants to make sure you feel comfortable around him.

YOON JEONGHAN

Jeonghan will likely match your energy depending on how you're feeling. But he does have a habit of challenging your more sarcastic side because he tends to talk quite bluntly, so he thinks those conversations are more fun. He honestly has a lot of fun figuring out how to push your buttons until you two are ceaselessly teasing each other. He'll leave you be if it really seems like you're not up to it and respects when you're more quiet. He can always easily go with the flow depending on your mood.

JOSHUA HONG

Josh tends to also get shy around new people or one on one with people he doesn't know that well or in other moments he's not prepared for. So if you suddenly get shy, it'll probably trigger his shyness as well. He'll suddenly be unsure of what to say or where to look or how to act. Moments between you and Joshua tend to be very sweet and lighthearted since both of you are very careful towards each other. Any sort of friendship/relationship with each other with each other will progress slowly because it takes you two awhile to fully open up to each other. But it means that you two also eventually feel very comfortable around each other since you spent so much time building up trust.

WEN JUNHUI

He probably hates this lol. Not because of you but because he just can't stand awkward silence and puts all the pressure on himself to fix it. He also doesn't really get it????? Like you were fine around him when you were hanging out with other members or friends????? He watched you roast Wonwoo with no hesitation earlier???? But now that it's just you and him you're so shy?????? Get ready for chaotic Jun because he's going to be pulling all of the punches to get you to laugh again. Honestly when there's an awkward silence he can't really help but keep talking to fill it in, so you might learn a lot more about Jun in five minutes than you thought you would in years lol.

KWON SOONYOUNG

(Sorry for using such a big gif but he really is the prettiest man on earth omfg)

Might also be a little awkward when you suddenly get shy. He worries that he said something to offend you or that maybe you don't like him. So he tends to approach you carefully when he notices that you're shy around him to make sure that you two are on good terms. He'll actually make an effort to talk more quietly around you and try to sit really still and not make any sudden big movements so he doesn't catch you off guard or upset you. He tries to be as polite as possible and will make a real effort to start enjoyable conversations. Probably asks other people stuff like what movies you like or what songs you listen to so he has something to talk to you about when he sees you.

JEON WONWOO

Pls this is his worst nightmare. He's not confident in handling social situations so when you suddenly get quiet around him, he has no idea what to do. He'll awkwardly blurt out some random questions and cringe inwardly every time it doesn't lead to an actual conversation. He'll wonder what's up since you seemed so confident around other people. Like Soonyoung, he'll worry over you not liking him for some reason. He'll probably actually end up pulling back and letting you approach him in the future so any contact between you two can be on your terms so he knows you're comfortable.

LEE JIHOON

May not fully notice. Jihoon tends to be off in his own world anyways so your mood change around him may fly right over his head. He's not always conscious of people's behaviors and changes in them because of his tendency to zone out. Honestly it's sort of a relief. If you're feeling a little more nervous as you spend one on one time with him, it's almost nice that he seems to continue on with business as usual. It's nice that he won't really point it out or make a big deal of it. He's usually pretty gentle during conversation anyways so it's not like there's anything he's doing to be intimidating. If he notices you being shy, he might get a little shy as well, but he'll do anything he can to make you comfortable and get on your good side.

LEE SEOKMIN

Seokmin is such a people pleaser so you suddenly going quiet is going to be a problem for him. He needs you to like him so much. He's going to figure out what makes you feel the most comfortable around him. Do you want him to take the lead in conversations? Would you prefer he back off a little? Do you like it when he's joking? More serious? He'll test the waters and feel out what brings back your more confident side so he can tell what makes you more comfortable around him. He'll navigate every conversation with care so you'll enjoy talking with him.

KIM MINGYU

Also the type to kind of slip up when this happens. He doesn't know how to continue when you suddenly get shy around him. It highkey gives him butterflies, he thinks it's so cute. So then he's shy around you, leading to him doing awkward things, all while he's trying to help you feel less shy around him. He's a giggling/blushing mess around you 24/7, which definitely helps him seem less intimidating. But he very much genuinely wants you to feel comfortable around him so he'll always be as kind and friendly as possible.

[A/N: So Tumblr has suddenly decided I can only add ten imagines to each post even tho up until now, I was able to add gifs for all thirteen members. Soooo I was wondering if you guys preferred for me to either separate maknae line and hyung line for reactions, or if you want me to leave gifs out and have all members in one post for reactions, or if y'all want to do it by request??? Until I get a good read on what y'all want I'm just gonna cut the gifs are where I have to lol. Please let me know what y'all want me to do!!!!]

XU MYUNGHO

Myungho takes this in a silent stride. When he notices you suddenly get shy around him, he'll just sort of quietly take note of it. He'll try to encourage your usual sarcastic side to make sure you know he's comfortable with it. If it doesn't seem like it's working, he'll back off and try to take things slow and gentle with you until you feel more comfortable around him one on one. He'd never admit it but he is ecstatic when your sarcastic side starts to show. Any biting remark you have for him is met with a smirk and an equally biting remark. He's fine when you're more shy but he'll feel uneasy himself until you're comfortable around him.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

Seungkwan will have an "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no" moment when he realizes you're suddenly shy around him. He also wants everyone to like him and be happy around him. He will also wonder if he did something to offend you and be incredibly nervous and unhappy until you're comfortable around him again. He's constantly hesitant when approaching you and then as conversation progresses, he'll pull out the big guns with his humor to get you laughing and hopefully back to your normal self.

VERNON CHWE

This may also go over his head. Vernon isn't always super in tune with the people around him just depending on what's going in his head. He also usually lets the people around him lead conversations anyways, so he'll just follow your vibes conversation to conversation. When you're shy he'll just speak to you casually and keep it light. When your more sarcastic side shows, he'll vamp it up and match your energy (although with him, he'll use sarcasm as a way to casually flirt for sure lol). But overall it's hardly even noticeable to him.

LEE CHAN

Dino probably also gets shy when you get shy. He may not notice your change at first but as soon as he does he just goes "oooooooooh" and then backs way off. He's the type to awkwardly laugh every other sentence when speaking to you, desperate to make sure the conversation feels light and happy. He's not really the best at navigating meeting new people and learning how to connect with them specifically. He's happy to try anything and everything to help you feel more at ease around him, though.

[bsaka7]

4 and 8 and 23 for the writing asks! 👾

rhu metamatar powertrains this is super long and i'm sorry i JUST have a lot to say!!!!!!!! thank u !! i love the robot emoji i love robots!!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

hmmmm. i definitely struggle with being proud of my writing as i said...but i'll give u another answer on something i like!! i think "hopeless and homeless" is maybe my best fic and one of my favorite things i've written in recent years. i think the part where max is talking to his mom on the phone and sort of realizing. what is going on. is perhaps the most personal??? grounded?? thing that i wrote. I do quite like the part:

"Sophie cried. Jos never did. Daniel cried. Max didn’t. Daniel cried. Max didn’t. It’s embarrassing enough that he let this happen to him. At least he didn’t cry.

i don't know. i think. your love is connected to your parents love. and i think there's a certain shame/embarrassment about being cheated on and about others knowing about it that is terrifyingly large and devastating and inescapable. and crying about it can be embarrassing. i don't know i think this is just a nice microcosm of the sort of thing i wanted to show and explore in this fic so i'm happy enough with it.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

somewhat yes...somewhat no. i write a LOT more pwp than i write but i think that's because i'm generally trying to write it to explore a dynamic or to explore some sort of feeling that i've had or to fill a gap of something i think needs to exist rather than any particular interest in it being "hot." i also think...it's kind of formulaic and therefore also kind of easy to write and makes me feel more comfortable maybe addressing other things in the fic if that makes any sense. uhh i guess on a different scale...i probably read more actual books than i read fic and obviously i only write fic...so that's a difference. i'm much more willing to write romance as compared to read it. i think in general i like to write things that i feel comfortable with to some degree - i've said it before but i consider myself quite uncreative and everything i write is based off something that i have felt and then applied to a new situation - and i like to read things that i had no idea about, and that applies to reading anything! in both cases...i suppose i like sad stuff. idk i hope that's not all too pretentious it's just like...i think my writing is limited in a sense by my imagination and my reading is not!

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

when i was a kid my brother and i would imagine tiny tiny people who walked everywhere and we built them bridges and stuff even though we couldn't see them and they all got like...trapped in a cave by a giant...that's probably THEE oldest story. other than that various other sports and fantasy epics skimmed from my friends conceptions or books i've read. in terms of f1 fic....i've been sitting on the idea of a seb/lewis roscoe POV fic (a la that one pop fiction book about an f1 driver) like literally i think it NEEDS to exist and would be so fun to write but i have no idea how even to begin....

[rosekasa]

I love your writing so much!! You are genuinely like my favorite writer and I mean that both in terms of fandom and professional writing (particularly short stories). You know how there are some sentences that are either just kinda filler or they set up something important but they aren't super interesting lines to read, they're just important for structure? You don't have any of those, literally every line—every word—you write is gorgeous and hits me right in my heart. (1/2)

wriYou're able to evoke such emotion in your writing, I really can't get enough of it, I end up rereading your fics all the time because I feel like you just *get* it. You get how to use every word, every piece of dialogue, the way you create pauses and control the flow of your pieces is just masterful. I was wondering what writers you look up to/enjoy (fandom and professional)? (2/2) 

this ask. i am going to print it and frame it and put it on my wall. anon u made me so happy SFSDJFSDJDFS this is so sweet im so so glad you like my writing 🥺 all of it comes straight from my ladynoir-filled heart and ur kind words mean so much to me

since we’re talkin books i just wanna. shamelessly drop my goodreads. it’s maketea. like my ao3 name. because i’m uncreative

i love reading in my free time so i have loads of authors i love!! one of my absolute favourite authors are j.p. delaney - his books are. probably not for everyone LOL but i discovered him when i was 14 and my best friend and i have been buying every single one of his books as they come out every since :’) i love his writing style so much, it’s so pleasing to read

i also really like stephen king! his narrative style is amazing. i read a lot of thrillers (j.p. delaney is also a thriller author) and i think it’s a super tough genre to nail but when authors do nail it. hoo boy. the descriptions are incredible. stephen king has such a talent to bring the story to life and use imagery to really. gross out the reader when necessary SHFDSFJDFSJ

i don’t have a whole bunch of writers i read regularly other than those two, but honourable mentions to some other authors of whose works i’ve read maybe one or two:

- a.r. torre: i read ‘the ghostwriter’ the other day and wow. WOW. the writing was gorgeous. it was such a beautiful book. ur girl might’ve teared up a little a lot

- vivek shraya: ‘the subtweet’ is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. it is an iconic book. shraya is a trans desi author and her writing is gorgeous. ‘the subtweet’ focuses on two south asian musicians and the development and destruction of their friendship and it is absolutely incredible. so well-written.

- nabokov: ofc i’m gonna put nabokov here. i wrote a 4k research paper on ‘lolita’ and the way perspective and narrative style is used. he has an amazing grasp of language and it ! mystifies me ! i am in love with the way he writes. it is incredible. not the kind of writing style i’d personally aim for but a writing style that is VERY fun to read. i love it so much. i totally want to do a pastiche in the style of nabokov if i find the time

as for fic authors, i’m really terrible at keeping up with the writers i love in the fandom (i read fic sdhdfssd sporadically) BUT ! to name a few off the top of my head:

@emsylcatac @jattendschaton @ladybuginettes @chatnoirinette @pipthemagnificentwrites @hanaasbananas @macaronsforchat @lnc2 @botherkupo @thatanonwiththeoc @komorebirei @seance-vent (seance is from a diff fandom but she has been such a huge writing inspo for me since i was like. 15) 

ye !! sorry for the long reply i just love talkin about stuff like this hehe. thank u for ur ask !

[jjungkooksthighs]

finally got enough time to read yearn for you and girl!!!!! where do I start from? first of all, I'm sorry you did not receive enough love for this fic but I'll try my best to try and express all the gratitude for you. ok so, this is gonna be messy because english is not my first language and I'm a bit dyslexic so forgive me😔... I remember reading edacity and thinking damn! she can write! and got soooo hooked on the way you write. then I stumbled on claws of carnality and I already told you anything I had to say about this fic: a masterpiece. then I decided to read undercurrent (I couldn't read it straight away because of how long it is and how hectic life could be) but then again, what else could I have expected from you? the way you described the scenes (don't wanna spoil anything if people didn't read it yet).. it was like I was there (this applies for all of your fic but this one has something different to it? can't really describe it, I'm sorry). you are such a talented writer, so elegant, so eloquent, so detailed, so entrancing, so attractive in a way? so when you announced you were going to post another story I was thrilled! and you delivered, god, did you deliver. I was so frustrated with jk at the beginning of the story, you pulled me in your story with just a few sentences.. but at the story went, I felt so content because of how you described their relationship, the trust they have in each other, the desire to please the other, the love you can basically feel through the words and when I was reading about the flashback, I could feel the love. I also loved how even if he is a hard dom, he is so whipped for her... when she stands after he strips her and he sees her kick her heels off and he grins? my heart beat a little faster, don't ask me why. I loved how even if jimin was there, he could also have not been there at all and the after care? the way he is basically going around, calling her his fiancee, love them. at the end, my greedy, curios brain (and heart, who am I kidding) wanted more lmao. I have a few questions if you don't mind.. what happens with taehyung? because he was a bit of a brat, trying to get in her pants and then complaining when he got a bit left out? honey, you got a big storm coming. will you ever write little drabble for this couple? like, how did he propose? not gonna lie, kinda curious about the dress he picked out for her for the gala.. no pressure tho baby, feel free to ignore this part. I also loved how he called her petal and flowers and how he didn't even think twice about buying the necklace. want something like this for me, it would be the life, having someone you love who loves you back and is always ready to remind you... anyway, this is all for today, gonna go read yean for you a few more times now☺️🥴. hope you are having a good day, we love you💙

Your english is very impressive for someone that doesn’t speak it primarily, darling. You don’t need to apologize for being dyslexic, either. You can’t help that and should not apologize for something beyond your control. Anyway, you found me through Edacity, huh? It’s always interesting hearing about how you guys find me, I have to say. That one was written in a lust filled craze following the video that the gif used for that fic was recorded from. Manbun Jungkook really took my pussy (and fingers) and said WORK FOR IT. Ugh, he’s just so hot istg I really couldn’t help myself when I wrote that fic, lol. Anyway, it’s cute that you cycled through like all of my fics and I’m glad that you liked my work enough to keep reading through everything that I had posted on here! I will say that Undercurrent is very precious to me because it’s the very first reader x member fic that I wrote and posted to Tumblr. I love that story so much and I’m so elated to know that you appreciated it as much as you did! It took about two weeks for that like YFY, but every time that I sat down to write it, I just would smile like an idiot whenever I’d read through it at how cutely I encapsulated the lovers to be in their feelings for each other. 

Truly, who else writes a damn novel for their first ever fic? Gah, I am still so soft over Undercurrent. That fic is like my first child, lol. It is very special to me. So is COC, but we all know my sentiments about that fic at this point. I feel like I’m being annoying with it, but the self-consciousness and insecurity about that one still persists and whenever I hear about it from my readers, I get nervous because I have this lingering anxiety that more negative comments will be given on it. Well, this ask isn’t about COC, so I should move on, I think. Sorry about that mini-rant, anon!

Switching back to YFY, Jungkook’s personality in this one is a little different than what I have done before and I am glad that you liked the way he’s built in terms of his characterization. I wanted to show a Jungkook that was so in love with you that he is willing to give you anything you want (even if that means fucking another man) while also staying true to the possessive creature that we all know he is in real life. He adores reader very much and because of that, he just wants to see her happy at the end of the day. She is a constant in his life and gives him stability where the world would fall apart under his feet and he cherishes her for that for sure. I adored their relationship just as you did because they care about each other so much and each one of them just wants to please the other always. It’s funny that you say that Jimin could have not been there because the person that commissioned this fic from me actually wanted just a CEO!Jimin fic in the beginning, lol. Kook wasn’t even factored into the story in the initial stages and it actually was going to be a hybrid CEO!Jimin fic where he goes into heat while at work, but that idea was never fully fleshed out because Jungkook had to come out with his D’ICON stuff and really, it was over for me when I saw that video of him in the leather fit. 

I talked to my commissioner about it and she was more than eager to have Kook involved in the fic (even though she originally thought that I would not go so far as to write 31.5k words worth of shit that Kook was responsible for over 22.3k for before Jimin even makes an appearance, lol. I couldn’t really help it being the Jungkook slut that I am, but hey, it brought such sin out of it and I can’t apologize for THAT because it was too much fun to keep writing the lewd escapades of reader and her fiance that loved his future wife too much to deny her of anything so as long as he is part of it. 

As for Taehyung, well...let’s just say that Jungkook had a nice “chat” with Taehyung and the two ended the discussion with Jungkook sat in his office while Taehyung got to listen to a recording of reader fucking herself with Jungkook’s name falling repeatedly from her lips. Taehyung may or may not have had a tent in his pants while Jungkook gave a cruel smirk and when you’re summoned to his office, let’s just say that Taehyung gets a nice show while Jungkook fucks you over his desk. Now, this is done AFTER Jungkook orders you to bind Taehyung’s wrists with his tie so that he can’t do anything while he watches, his lips drawn between his teeth the entire time that Jungkook fucks into you like a crazed man. When it’s all over and you lie boneless on the desk, Jungkook eats the sandwich you brought him off your stomach before eating you out and let’s just say that when Taehyung leaves the office, his cheeks have never been more red both with embarrassment and rage. 

Wow, I really let myself keep going with that, huh? I guess that shows just how much I’m fond of YFY, lol. 

I would consider writing a drabble for YFY, but that would have to be commissioned as I am facing a financial crisis right now and can’t really afford to spend time writing anymore unless I will be compensated for it! It’s very sweet to ask that because it shows me you want more of this story and that’s very heartening to know!

As for the dress, I would be more than happy to show it to you if you message me (you can go through anon again if you prefer) once more with that question because this ask is already really long! 

Also, I’m pleased to know that you liked the pet names! I have a weakness for them, you see, so you’ll find an abundance of that in just about everything you read from me. 

It would be quite a life to have a man like YFY Jungkook in it, wouldn’t it? You would never want for a thing with him, that’s for sure. You also would never feel deprived of attention or love because he’d readily relinquish both to you 24/7. I wanna swoon over YFY Jungkook because he’s just so dreamy, isn’t he? 

Anyway, I am so happy to hear you liked the story. Thank you for reading my work and taking the time to say all of that, lovely. It really makes my day so much better when you guys tell me things like this and I can’t thank you enough for being nice enough to let me know all of this!

[rosesanthology]

Escape Plan | Matsukawa Issei x F!Reader [mafia!AU]

This took me SO MUCH TIME to write aaaaaah it's not surprising that it's so long :0 i just have many many feelings for Matsukawa Issei ALSO im begging y'all to listen to the playlist before/as you read please !!

Im kinda pissed that i cant add a "read more" option since im on mobile tho :\

(Also ngl at first i planned to get one of the 2 shot but i didn't have the heart to go thru with it)

Warnings : Fluff, it starts with humor but at some point it gets angsty ???? Idk y'all tell me

- Au that could be considered as a ennemies-to-lovers type of situation

[Tags] : @raevaioli and @haikoo like i cannot stress this enough @haikoo this your main manz

- if you could only use one sentence to describe your job to a Karen it would be : stealing from the rich in order to trick other rich people

- you had been what the people would call a spy for most of your life now, the Tokyo based Nekoma Organisation being something close to a family

- you worked with both of your very good friends, Kuroo Testurou and Kozume Kenma

- Kuroo, the leader of your little squad, had been the first one to open up to you when you joined

- he was a gifted chemistry genius and you were sure he could make any poison or soporific out of the most random stuff

- he also had insane combat and physical abilities which made him fit to act in a lab as well as on mission grounds

- Kenma was a little more reserved at first, he was the same age as you but still was really reluctant to accept you as one of his own at first

- when he saw how much Kuroo trusted you and how interested you were in his work he slowly but surely found himself caring for you

- to put it simply Kenma, better known as "apple pi" was a hacker. His job ranged from creating computer viruses to full on enabling the security of whole museums

- despite his cute appearance and shy demeanor he was probably the scariest of you three

- finally, you Y/L L/N was the infiltration and weapons expert of the group, you could weild literally anything from guns, to swords to,,,,,metal rods (but you don't wanna talk about this one) and you were of great help when deciding which infiltration angle was the best in missions

- Kuroo, under the orders of Boss Nekomata, quickly taught you the dangers and ways of the job during your first months working with them, the organisation specializing in outsmarting rich bastards and stealing their precious ressources in order to make "better use of them"

- if they were hoarding a particularly efficient brand of medicine, your goal was to steal it all, and sell it to people in need for free or a low price

- if they were in possession of some important object like let's say,,,,,the construction plans for the emperor's new vacation house, you stole it, made copies to sell at a high price to the highest bidder and your good affiliate, the Fukurodani Corporation would keep an eye on the original as part of their personnal collection, you were fine with that

- yeah they were others organisations like that in Tokyo, your friends from the Fukurodani Corp of course but also the Shiratorizawa elite crime group with who you had worked a couple times before

- ah and there was the Yakuzas too....honestly they were the only group in Tokyo with whom you were still on dangerous terms with

- they didn't like Nekoma in their affairs and you didn't like them in yours, but you tolerated each other

- your boss had established a truce with the representant of the big Yakuza group of your area, Kondo "the viper" Takara, a truly scary woman who had blasted her way to the one of the top positions of the hierarchy

- she even had a cool nickname ヾ(｀ε´)ノ

- but you knew better than to mess with them

- all in all y'all kept doing your jobs well, not bothering anybody

- except for one remaining rivalry with some Miyagi group

- the Aoba Johsai Institution.

- well, rivalry would be a strong word because you kinda got along with that Iwaizumi guy, he was a great hand to hand combat fighter and you respected that

- the others however ? Trash. 👁3👁

- they seem to act like Tokyo will be their territory in the next 5 seconds flat like ??

- THEY DON'T EVEN GO THERE ????

- "they be acting like they can just swoop in and eat OUR rich" you had told Kuroo and Kenma one day over ramen

- spoiler alert : it was a bad idea cause Kuroo snorted and almost made the noodles go up his nose

- no but seriously they always seemed to take advantage of YOUR missions to attract attention

- how did they even know which missions you were on anyway ??? (Kenma and Kunimi are actually good friends cause they play video games together but he'd never tell you that)

- it's like that one time you infiltrated a business company's heir's residence and then you came across a dude named Hanamaki and you had the HARDEST time whisper shouting to him how blowing up the whole place was a bad idea to retrieve one (1) diamond

- at the end you felt so tired that you gave it to him anyway ಥ_ಥ ("just take it ffs" "really ??" "Don't make me regret this")

- they also had the single worst person ever on one of their teams.

- Matsukawa Issei

- just thinking about it made you want to take your metal bat and break something in your shared room with your two other friends

- seriously that guy was like the epitome of clownery

- he's also supposed to be his team's gun expert except that's not the best task for someone who refuses to take anything with him but his freaking FISTS

- the first time you had met y'all ended up being on the same case to assassinate some guy who had kidnapped some cute freckled kid from a place in Miyagi called Karasuno

- EXCEPT HE WAS IN TOKYO SO IT WAS YOUR DUTY !!! NOT HIS !!!!

- you had Kenma on the earbud telling you about the guy's position in the club you were currently one street away from. You were posted on the rooftop of a building with a sniper rifle ready to get done with it and go save the kid but GUESS WHO COMES IN FISTS SWINGING WHEN YOU LITERALLY HAD THE TARGET IN SIGHT

- and he had the nerve to look straight toward your rifle's aim and flip you off while smirking

- sir you're about to catch these hands🚶🏽

- he had knocked him out alright and he got the young boy out but you were NOT ready to let that slide so you quickly got down and crossed path with him at the back exit of the club

- "what exactly do you think you were doing in there ?" Listen. You may have sounded confident enough saying that but you had NO idea that this dude was like a whole ass giraffe

- and he knew he was tall so he had the audacity to say

- "sorry can't hear you so well from down there midget, i was just doing my job (▰˘◡˘▰)" if it weren't for the karasuno boy being right there you would have stabbed his kneecaps on sight

- anyway after that y'all just seemed to run into each other wayyyy too often

- insults were shared just as often tho

- "well butter my buns and call me betty broker if it isn't my sweet little midget shooting people !"

- "stfu before i choke you"

- "kinky but can you reach my neck ?"

- "you've sunk low enough"

-so yeah f u n  t i m e s

- aside from that, business was going great but Kuroo had had news of a very important mission for you but he insisted on letting Boss Nekomata tell you about it himself for some reason

- he'd never done that :(

- you were kinda hurt that your best friend was hiding stuff from you tbh :(

- and Kenma did not seem to know more than you for now

- so you spent a whole week just mopping around

- sometimes you would go and poke fun and the newbie Lev Haiba but it wasn't the same

- Kuroo and Kenma kept working on missions while you were left waiting for that one assignment that Nekomata seemed to keep you for

- until today when Kuroo finally told you that the boss was requesting you in his office

- ngl you were EXCITED

- maybe you would have to zipline down the Tokyo tower (σ≧▽≦)σ maybe he was going to let you take a chainsaw with you this time (σ≧▽≦)σ

- maybe he- "oh" you deadpanned, stepping foot into the office and seeing none other than your arch nemesis, Matsukawa Issei in all his pisces clown glory

- "why tf are you there shitty eyebrows"

- "i had a good day too Y/N ! thanks for asking :D" today was the day. You were 100% ready to kill him and the knife that was attached to your thigh strap seemed like such a good option rn-

- "stop it you two. Y/N take a sit" Nekomata gestured, as you didn't hesitate to listen to your superior even fully aware of Mattsun's eyes annoyingly following your every movement

-"Okay so. Y/N i know you may be wondering why Matsukawa's here but to put it simply we've been informed that a rich family have gotten their hands on one of Aoba Johsai's rarest item : a gold engraved katana that belonged to their first boss"

- "so what do you need us for ?" You didn't mean to use "us" but you knew better than to piss off your boss, he was like a parental figure come on

- "i need you guys to infiltrate an auction held by said family and steal it back in the span of one week. It's up to you to work together or not but keep in mind that our arrangement states that we're autorised to make copies of the katana for future sells."

- you guys nodded, after all you were professionnals before everything and you were about to leave when Nekomata put something on the table

- "here are the keys to your appartment near the auction site it'll be your hideout !"

-.....now this had to be a cruel joke-

- "id rather sleep under a bridge then live with her for a whole week"

- "wow this is the first time we agree on something Mattsun" the oh so familiar nickname dripped in venom as you said it, unsure of what was supposed to happen

- "oh yes you could but i suppose that you don't have the supplies and tools that you will definitely need during that mission :)"

- you locked eyes with the brunette for a minute before reluctantly stomping to the table and grabbing hold of the keys and adress written on a paper, storming out of the door,  letting out a loose "come on shitty eyebrows we have data to collect" to your new....partner ? Ugh it was about to be a long week

-  it turns out the appartment was a lot smaller than you hoped for, with two single person beds, a computer post and different storing purposed furniture

- it was a common thing however, because the last thing an undercover spy would want is to draw attention with a flashy hideout

- the first step was to gather information on who would be at the auction which shouldnt be too hard

- "hey ill take the lead and contact my friend so that he can determine who is going to be here" you said as you sat on the chair in front of the computer

- "mm yeah you do that ill check what kind of weapons have been provided to us" Mattsun had no difficulty finding them as the drawers well full of them....this was very promising

- Kenma had just sent you the list of people that had been invited to the event, and you recognised many names as being members of the powerful Yakuza group lead by Konda Takara, of course.....the infamous viper herself

- you called out to Mattsun to show him and briefly explained what they were up too and how they usually fonctionned

- the auction was to take place the last 3 days after an opening party, leaving the rest of the week for preparations

- they usually took their time in comitting their crimes so you thought that stopping them mid plan by taking advantage of it was the best way to get the sword

- Mattsun didn't have anything to say for the moment, seemingly thoughtful about the whole situation

- "just so you know" you started, already regretting the decision of talking in your head, "i don't plan on being friends with you anytime soon but i feel like for this we should at least try not to rip each other's hair out"

- "i never planned on that second option"

- "huh ?"

- "i hope you know that we've never had a single conversation without insults of some kind before so for the sake of both of us it would be better to actually get to know each other since we're supposed to work together"

- you hated to admit it

- but he was right

- however you didn't comment on it, opting for throwing him a dry "let's sleep" before plopping yourself on your own bed on the other side of the room

- this is about to be one hell of a week

-3 days had passed in the crammed appartement both you and Mattsun struggling to inform yourself on each specific individual that was going to be present at the auction

- right now, you were both sitting on the floor, wearing simple oversized shirts and pyjama pants and shorts, cheese pizza box laying on top of the document covered surface

- "Mattsun, pass me the paper about Okuda Takeda please" :000

- Matsukawa froze, because he knew that in 2 days of living together y'all had establised that you wouldn't be at each other's throats

- but hearing you using his nickname unironically and saying please ???? That was still something he had to get used to

- "what are you staring at ? Give me the paper shitty eyebrows >:[" ah there she was

- "thats my girl" he thought, handing you the document and resuming his own reading

- here's the catch : Mattsun was head over heels in love with you since like day 1 that Hanamaki told him about this pretty girl who let him take the diamond from his mission. He tried to repress his feelings as he had noticed that you seemed way closer with your friend Kuroo who he had seen on missions with you

- maybe you liked him

- he would understand, he seemed way more confident than him and he was also probably way smarter since he was a genius and all

- also the way you were always soft to him and not Matsukawa kinda got to him

- he wanted you to hug HIM after a mission too and NOT insult him

- but he judged it for the better as he still got to be close to you in his own way with the playful fights you always seemed to pick with him

- it was easier than confronting his feelings or rejection

- this mission proved to make things so much harder for him tho

- like yeah he saw you being a badass plenty of other times but now ?

- he got to see you being all clingy and grumpy in the morning (he never knew being called a dumbass while you were falling back asleep on his shoulder was his thing but hey) , got to see your nose scrunch up when you were focusing on mapping out the position of the vent system of the venue

- he could go on for hours about how much he loved you and your plan was not making it easy.....profiting off the yakuzas' plan took way too much waiting and he understood that you wanted it to go as well as possible but he just couldn't keep living like this until then

- it felt like torture

- and he did not want to see you in that gorgeous dress that you were supposed to wear at the auction during the infiltration

- he knew that a couple more days could drive him crazy and make him do dumb shit like kissing you

- he had thought about that a lot of times but never brought himself to do it because je knew it was pointless

- he had to take action now

- the night of the opening ceremony, the day before the Yakuzas would start their scheme

- both of you were laying in your beds, awake, that was a habit you had developped over the past nights, you were just, aware of each other's presence and then sometime you would ask him something about his life, his friends, himself

- it made his heart beat too fast everytime and he could feel himself falling even more by the second when he heard you giggling talking about the time you pulled a prank on your friend Yaku with Kuroo

- he knew that you were already very sleepy from the way you were slurring your words

- "Y/N do you hate me ?" He said, abruptly and he heard a strangled laugh coming from you followed up by the question

- "what's that for dummy ?"

- "please answer" he asked in a whisper, sounding almost desperate

- you took a second to think about it

-you had grown quite close to your tall partner in such a short period of time, even letting your guard down and stopping from being so defensive

- "i don't hate you....i could never" you said the last part more to yourself tho but Matsukawa didn't miss it, he wished he did as he heard the soft sighs coming from your now sleeping form

- his heart ached as he got up, putting on his black coat over his mathing turtleneck shirt, taking his gun and spare map of the auction venue

- you were totally going to hate him now....

- and then he left for the opening party

- the rain was pouring outside

- for some reason you couldn't sleep well that night

- that only happened whenever Kuroo was out on a mission at night or Kenma was working in his office

- you hated sleeping alone, you couldn't do it

- being alone was the one thing you dreaded the most in your life, death was nothing if nobody knew where you were, if nobody aknowledged your existence you weren't alive

- but Mattsun was there and you trusted him.

- yeah you were kind of an ass to him during like 90% of your interactions with him but you just didn't know how to talk to him ??? He was so strong and good at what he did so you couldn't help but feel admiration but also intimidation

- yet you've felt probably more comfortable with him than anyone in your life (yes even Kuroo and Kenma weirdly enough)

- it was a nice feeling

- maybe it was because you saw him differently than them...

- but anyway

- you felt like yourself around him

- and yet

- why couldn't you sleep ?

- "Mattsun ?" You called out to him, voice cracked from not having used it for a while

- no answer

- maybe he didn't hear you over the rain....?

- you had a bad feeling about this

- "Mattsun ?" You called out a little louder, sitting up

- yep definitely

- you turned on the light and to your surprise, Matsukawa was nowhere in sight

- your heart sunk at the realization

- you were alone

- what about the plan ? Ah its true that he never said anything about it

- did he not trust you enough with it ? Did he think you were too assertive ?

- you wanted to cry but it seemed as if your brain wasn't working, your body rushing on its own to check the date and time on your phone : past 10pm on thursday night.....

- the opening party !

- "shit shit shit he must have gone there to take them by surprise wtf is he thinking doing this alone?" You thought aloud, maybe it would trick your body into not being scared

- at this point you were terrified, rushing to get the red dress on as well as putting your 2 guns under each of your thigh straps

- is he alone ? Surrounded by highly trained and dangerous Yakuzas ? What if....you were too late ?

- you didn't have time to think too much about it as you knew that this kind of thoughts led nowhere.

- you had to infiltrate that party the fastest you've ever done in your life and see for yourself, luckily, the venue was only a few crossroads away from your appartment

- truth was Mattsun's plan was not so bad

- after all you had insisted on making him find info on every staff member there too so it's thanks to you if he just so happened to know what type of guy that one waitress liked in order to flirt with her and convince her that he had forgotten his watch in one of the closed off aeras of the venue

- the place was absolutly gigantic, after all it was a mansion bought will illegal money

- he hated this, he just wanted to get it over with, retrieve the sword, gtfo and go back to Miyagi forever so that he wouldn't feel the pain of the illusion of being by your side when you were clearly far ahead of him

- you'd always been anyway

- he had finally reached the generator room and opened the vents with much difficulty as the room was a mess of cardboard boxes and storage shelves

- he was just going to cut the power, which would take about 15 minutes to get back, allowing him to go thru the vents to the main hall that was right thru the wall to his side, retrieve the sword and just make a run for it

- hopefully the rain would cover most of the sound he made so that was even better

- see that would have been great if he hadn't felt the icy cold metal of a gun at the nape of his neck as he was fiddling with the generator

- he had been caught.

- it was the end.

- shit he fucked the whole mission over and now even you didn't have a chance to-

- "what exactly do you think you're doing Mattsun ?" You said coldly even tho the hurt in your tone didnt go unnoticed by the taller man

- "haha Y/N whatchu doing here on this fine night ? You look stunning btw"

- "Cut the crap shitty eyebrows i asked you a question"

- you finally lowered your gun allowing your harsh glare to show how upset you truly were

- damn, Matsukawa really felt shitty :\

- he'd never seen you like that- well not soaked from the rain but....so vulnerable to him

- all your feelings talks happened in the dark of night in your hideout, he'd never seen your face look so pained before

- "I did what was best for both us..."

- "bullshit." He wasn't sure that he believed himself either to be honest

- "what the fuck are you even doing anyway ? I thought you and i were in this mission together ?? Did nothing matter to you ? I finally think that i found someone who i could trust other than my fucking family and that's what you do ? Ditch me for your own profit ?? You did what was best for your damn self Matsukawa"

- you were upset. He got it really, his insecurities had gotten the best of him like they often did....except he didn't have the strength to confront them, to confront you about it. So he got it and he didn't retaliate.

- "so what ?? You're not even going to say anything ?? Not even TRY to fucking apologize ? Do you really don't care ?" You searched for his eyes, but little did you know that he just....couldn't talk nor maintain eye contact with you right now

- "Mattsun...i thought you and i had...something ? I don't know maybe i hallucinated or some shit but i thought we were at least friends you know ? D-did you ever tolerate me at all ?"

- your voice cracked, it got lower and it cracked, and at that moment he was sure his heart broke right at this instant too

- he wanted to tell you that that was the farthest thing from the truth

- he wanted to tell you that he loved you

- but you were too far. Once again, you were miles ahead of him, more than ever

- and the sound of voices coming from the corridor did NOT HELP

- you could not afford being found here so with the professionalism left in you, you pushed your feelings away and pulled Mattsun behind a shelf, crouching and waiting

- you were so close he could feel you shivering from the cold and he felt so so bad

- but now was not really the moment

- "didn't you hear shouting ?" Shit. Maybe you should have waited until getting out of here for your heart to heart because this guard was definitely not trippin

- there were 2, luckily they didn't have the idea to split up to search the room, all you had to do was move low and close to the walls in order reach the door and well....the katana literally could not matter less to any of y'all rn

- at this moment you really regretted going out in such a hurry completly forgetting to contact Kenma, he could have hacked into the camera system and told you were they were so easily.....

- anyway, despite that you guys were stealthy enough to get out if the room

- now the problem was getting out of here.....

- you held Mattsun's wrist loosely as you ran thru the corridor of the building, thunder raging and labored breathing filling the silence

- "Y/N we could get out from the rooftop !" Right....if you could only get there then maybe you could just parcour your way out of this by getting on other rooftops....damn you were glad Matsukawa always thought of every escape plan possible

- you didn't really mean what you said earlier

- yes, you were disappointed but, you were also scared for his dumbass

- and rn may not be the best moment to realize it as you were most likely in a life of death situation but....you loved him

- fuck you loved him so much that you were running in a goddamn dress right now

- "i truly hoped it wasn't you" said a voice from the end of the lobby

- of course it just had to be the Yakuza boss you dreaded so much

- Kondo was just standing there, arms crossed but you knew better than to take her lightly

- "did you come to retrieve it ?" Its funny how her voice seemed to dominate even the full on storm outside, the occasional lightning bolt shining light from the huge windows into the corridor

- "No....let us pass please we just want to leave" Mattsun felt how tensed you were and immediatly rested his hand on his gun handle under his coat

- "yeah sure sweetheart but only if you tell your guard dog to calm down unless he wants me to cut his fingers clean off" she threatened nonchalantly as her hand met the handle of her own katana strapped to her belt

- Matsukawa was deadass glaring at her so hard you didn't recognise him

- he honestly looked like he could take her on but...you didn't feel like testing this theory tonight

- "hey hey, it's alright" you soothed him, putting your hand on his arm and squeezing slightly

- it seemed to work because he quickly let go of his gun even tho he was still glaring

- "let us go" he said firmly

- she pushed herself out of the way and motionned with her arm as if to say "go on~" in the most theatrical way

- you passed her without issues and soon found yourself on the roofs as planned in Mattsun's escape route and made it safely to the streets, rain still pouring

- you were finally letting out a breathe you didn't know you were holding all this time

- you were alive and most importantly, so was he

- you turned around and were ready to say something when he cut you off by grabbing your arms and pulling you into a kiss

- it was short but it managed to get his point across very well as well as warm you up when he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead against yours

- "i love you Y/N....i swear i didn't mean to hurt you and put you in danger like that....if i knew i would have done things differently i-"

- "i love you too Mattsun and it's never been a problem to me, i've done way more dangerous things in my life than rescue my boyfriend from getting killed dummy"

- in the end, you weren't alone

- somehow he had become, your escape plan from it

[clairecrive]

Christmas Au - Cass and Klaus

Before reading this new imagine you should know that this is an au based on my story. This was supposed to be a chapter but recently I had new ideas and this was not a fit anymore. so yeah here it is.

tags: @amirra88 @vampiregirl1797 (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

"What are you doing here?" Freya asks when she sees me walking into the compound

"Is this how you welcome your guests? Didn't you miss me?" I say putting my bags on the ground and opening my arms waiting for a hug

She laughs and comes my way.

"Of course I did. I'm so happy to see you. Nik didn't tell us you were coming."

"That's because he doesn't know that I'm here. I came by to check on him, he has a lot on his plate right now. Well, all of you have so I came here to help."

We pull away from the familiar embrace and she pulls me to one of the sofas that adorns the abattoir.

"That's one way to put everything that is happening around here. But I'm not sure that you could help. I know that Nik wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

"I'm sure. But he doesn't have to worry about me, he already has another human to take care of. Oh, but this reminds me that I have to talk to him. Do you know where he is?" I ask knowing that I have to share this piece of information with him

"Knowing my brother's whereabouts these days is impossible. I hoped you, out of all people, could manage to track him down." Another voice spoke before Freya did and I turn around to see Elijah coming down the stairs.

"You overestimate me. But I can assure that he's okay. He's probably somewhere with Camille." I say wiggling my eyebrows when I mention her name.

I mean I don't ship them together, I'm sure everyone knows that. Despite what I think about them as a couple, I have to admit that she is good for him. Plus, she's a good person.

At my insinuating tone Elijah smirks and shakes his head. When he comes near us I get up and give him a hug.

"It's nice to have you here, Cas" he whispers after placing a kiss on my head.

"I couldn't not celebrate Christmas with you. I mean my favorite festivity should be spent with my favorite family." I say when he lets me go

"What about your family?" Freya asks when I sit back next to her

"I'm going to meet them tomorrow, actually. I'm not going to stay here for long unfortunately. I just wanted to check on the big bad hybrid and wish you all an happy Christmas in person."

Freya pouts when I mention the duration of my stay but when she's about to speak, another voice beats her to it. again.

"I forgot how much you like this festivity. It's absurd. I'm telling you sister, she gets excited like a baby." this time the voice belongs to someone I know very well. well, he's actually the reason I'm here. Klaus.

I roll my eyes at him. He likes to exaggerate stuff. It's his thing.

Obviously it doesn't go unnoticed by him, who I'm sure knows what I'm thinking, and for the first time he actually smiles at me. A big toothy smile.

I'm actually impressed. I didn't know he knew how to smile. He also opens his arms and looks at me.

This is truly a Christmas miracle.

I match his smile and actually run in his arms. What? Don't judge me, I've missed him.

We both laugh in glee when he catches me and I rest my head in the croook of his neck taking in his scent and enjoying his embrace.

One wouldn't imagine, but his hugs are actually great.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would've picked you up at the airport." he says putting me down after a while

"I didn't want to bother you. I know you're busy." I say looking into his ocean eyes. My eyes are drawn to the person standing behind him.

"Oh hi Camille. I'm sorry, this one likes to be the centre of the attention. How are you? I hope he hasn't bothered you too much." I say with a playful tone to her. Again, I don't like the idea of them together but mom thought me manners.

She smiles at me and shakes my hand looking at Klaus and then at me before speaking.

" You must be Cassandra. I'm fine thanks for asking, it's nice to meet you. I'm sure you know better than me that he can be a handful."

"As if you didn't like it" I can't help to think knowing that at this point she's deeply in love with him. 

"Oh enough. You have just met and you're already conspiracing against me. I thought you liked me, Cas" Klaus cuts me off and again hints to my crush for him

"You know, it's getting old. I've already told you on the phone that I'm into Bradley James now. Get over yourself." I scoff at him.

I smile again at Cami before making my way back to Freya. We're soon joined by the rest of the family and we talk about Christmas dinner arrangements and the imminent arrival of Rebekah.

***

"Ah here are my favorites brothers! What are these pouts on your faces? Cheer up, it's Christmas." I exclaimed wrapping my arms around Klaus and Rebekah's shoulders.

They were around the fire to burn their wishes. The mood was sour for that stupid prophecy about a family member turning against the others.

"I really appreciate your high spirit Cas, you know I do. But given the situation I don't it's appropriate." replied Klaus

"Don't be a party pooper Nik. Do you really think that I would stand by and watch while you're in a tough spot? I'm actually offended. I've got you girls. Now, go and have fun." Pulling away from them and pulling them away from the fire towards the carpet where Hayley, Hope, Camille and Freya were opening gifts.

" You do realize that we are guys, don't you" Elijah says chuckling

"Yes Elijah but there's also two girls. Why should we use a male term to refer to a group of people where there's the same amount of girls and boys? This patriarchal society is also mirrored in our language, we should choose words more carefully." For someone who refers to himself as a feminist, he certainly has a lot to learn.

He doesn't reply, just puts his hands in the air like he was surrounding.

" In the midst of your feminist rant, do you have a moment for me?" I hear Klaus saying from behind me. I didn't even notice that he'd stopped.

"I always have time for you. What's up? Need advice for your night with Camille?" I hint to the sexual tension that was obviously between them. And we all know what is going to happen when everyone is sleeping.

He shakes his head and pulls me to the side where no one could hear us.

" No I don't. And don't pretend you're the more experienced one. I know for a fact that you aren't." he says smirking

"Yeah you made sure of that. And by the way, I don't think it's fair. You're here getting all the action and I'm -" I couldn't finish my sentence because I was interrupted. In the least expected way.

I was kissed. By Klaus. Klaus kissed me.

[mercurialsmile]

Any tips on writing nonbinary characters? Like, any 'do's and 'don't's? I really wanna get it right, so I thought I'd ask someone who actually identifies as nonbinary :)

Any tips on writing nonbinary/trans characters?

I got two asks for this (maybe from the same person?) and it’s taken me some time to write an answer since this is such a broad... question. 

Thing is, nonbinary is both a gender in and of itself but also kinda an umbrella term? Since you also have people who are agender, bigender, genderfluid, etc. who would also technically fall under the umbrella, but don’t call themselves nonbinary since that’s not the label they want, and since the latter labels are a lot more... specific. 

Non-binary simply means that someone identifies as a gender outside the binary of man and woman and that’s it. 

There’s also the fact that I’m pretty sure I have some opinions other nonbinary people wouldn’t agree with (for example, I dislike neopronouns. Xir/Xe and Zie/Zir are the only ones that’s pronounceable to me. And I straight up dislike nounself pronouns and actively avoid people who only use nounself pronouns since to me, they are. Too hard and complicated to use. I remember reading a really good post on why nounself pronouns are linguistically incorrect in English and how to properly format them to be correct, but I dunno where that post is now) which is also why I have been hesitant about this.

Also it’s a complex... hmm thing. So yeah.

I think the first thing to ALWAYS remember when writing a minority character is that their status as a minority is not their only trait. Don’t use cliches. Don’t make them one-dimensional and make an enby’s entire personality revolving around the fact they’re enby. It’s othering, at least to me, and just plain bad writing. 

Another thing is, even tho I wish there were more books out there about being enby (are there any really out there at all?) for the most part I think cis authors should be careful and kinda tread around writing about an enby’s life and being enby. Unless you have done a shit ton of research, know exactly what you’re doing, and have talked to multiple different enbys (and not just over text either), I would merely have the character. Be there.

1) it’s a lot easier who wants to do all that research?? 

2) still counts as rep (as long as it’s positive)

So how do you write (possibly?) positive rep for a enby character? Let’s go back to pronouns. The most versatile and acceptable pronouns for enby people is they/them tbh. It’s completely gender-neutral. There are enby people who use gendered pronouns as well (She/her, he/him, maybe they use all three!) but writing-wise, it would be easiest to keep to one set of pronouns to make the writing easier to read. I dunno about anyone else, but I for sure would get tripped up and confused if a character’s pronouns change throughout a book. (Maybe it can be written well idk but I don’t think I’d like it personally sorry) so for the most part? I suggest just sticking with they/them. It’s the easiest to write. 

Also, I suggest to never call your enby characters “it”. Yes, some irl enbys like “it” as a pronoun, but to most it’s dehumanizing, so it’s best to avoid it I think. 

Interestingly enough, even tho they/them is the easiest to write with, it can also be a little tricky at times! Sometimes you’ll have to format sentences differently so readers can understand the difference between the singular and plural forms of they/them. Personally, it’s a fun writing exercise to me! So if anything, writing about an enby character can actually help stretch some different writing muscles so to speak. 

And speaking of pronouns, never ever have the narration misgender the character. Never. Hell, usually, I don’t even have characters or even the VILLAINS of my books misgender characters. And my reasoning behind this is: I dislike using transphobia/enbyphobia as a tool to show a villain is evil--their actions alone in the novel should be enough. And two: if even the evilest of villains aren’t transphobic... that says a lot to me. It speaks VOLUMES and is a lot more powerful of an (unsaid) statement then having your villains be transphobes. (but that’s just my opinion ofc!!) 

Now, to me, if you’re just writing about a enby side character, I would just have them. Be there. Not misgendered, everyone regarding them using the proper pronouns, and avoiding gendered language (which can be hard as it is hardwired into us without us even knowing, for instance!) so make sure you edit accordingly. 

Also, and I think this should be OBVIOUS by now, but PLEASE do not write a “forced coming out” scene. Like, where the cis character walks in on an enby character changing clothes or whatever. Like. That is. So over with and done. Ik that terrible trope fits trans men/women characters better, but I think it’s still important to say here, esp if you’re writing an enby character who tries to pass as the opposite of their birth gender or binds/stuffs/packs/etc at all. It’s uncomfortable, possibly triggering, and honestly? Super cliche. It’s bad writing, my friend. 

And whether or not you want to make the direct statement that they are an enby is kinda up to you? There’s arguments for and against it. If you can fit it into the story safely without making anything clunky, go for it! You can either have the character themselves tell someone how they identify, or maybe they’re being introduced and they ask the person they are introducing themselves to to use “they/them” since they are an enby. I’m sure there are other, more creative ways to do this, but yeah. This specific topic is super situational so I would have a sensitivity reader (or two!) to read over what you write to make sure it’s okay. 

Okay the last thing I’m gonna talk about is character description. Ignoring the fact I personally am terrible at it, there’s a kinda huge divide here. 

For one, a lot of authors and I think enby people in general don’t want others to know their birth gender, which is understandable. And with writing, there isn’t any visual clues besides what you write down. The world is your oyster, you can have your character look like anything, the reader won’t know the birth gender unless you use gendered language. 

The tricky thing is this, tho: the stereotypical enby person/character is someone who is skinny white and vaguely masculine. I, personally, despise this stereotype with my whole being. Imo, enby people can dress and look however they want. Clothes are just fabrics we put onto our flesh bodies. If girls can enjoy pants and boys can like dresses and skirts, then enbys can dress however they want to as well. That’s a freedom I think everyone should have. Clothes don’t dictate gender. Enby people also can’t control what they look like. Some people.. just won’t ever be able to pass as androgynous (unless they Really Work at it, like me!!) and it’s unfair to them I think as well. 

That being said, writing an enby with feminine clothing, for example, will probably have your reader think of them as DFAB, unfortunately, unless you are really careful.

Other things that can make your reader think of an enby’s birth gender: describing them having to wear a bra or having a period, describing if they have to shave their face or not or how much facial hair they grow, describing their genitalia AT ALL, describing them with certain face/body shapes, describing their hair length (possibly), if they wear a binder or stuff a bra or pack, describing if they wear makeup and the list can go on. 

Some people would think you should avoid this completely, which is why vaguely masculine is what people go for. it’s the typical androgynous look (which isn’t bad pe se and I don’t wanna insult anyone who looks like that!) but imo what would be more normalizing and important is to have enby characters look how they want, choose if they wanna wear a binder or not, if they wear makeup, and etc. 

Some people might thing the above is completely fine and that it’s important to show anyone can be enby and you’re still valid as an enby even if you might not “pass” for instance or don’t try your best to conceal certain secondary sex characteristics. Others might think you should make your enby characters as androgynous as possible, even in the stereotypical way. 

Which view is right? Dammed if I know, and I don’t think one is or not. But it is something to think about. I think the stereotypical response to a cis author would be to go with the safest option and allow enby authors write about enby characters breaking gender roles, but honestly, it is your character. Whether you make your enby character vaguely masculine to avoid those pitfalls or go balls to the walls and do whatever you want because enbys can dress and look how they want fuck you all is up to you. Do what you think your character would do and design them to match their personality. I don’t think people should be boxed into what sort of characters they are allowed to make. 

And don’t be afraid to make mistakes. It’s okay if you fuck something up by accident or are accidentally insensitive. And honestly? Groups of people aren’t a hivemind. No matter how good your representation is, there will be someone who disagrees with you and thinks you didn’t “write it correctly”

all I can say is: learn as much as you can, always strive to keep learning and listening, and do the best you can. You can’t succeed if you don’t try and you can’t learn without making a few mistakes along the way. 

(And as for trans characters... I myself am not a trans man/woman so idk how to best say what not to do, but I think it follows the same as above for the most part? I’d ask the opinion of a trans man or woman first rather than an enby like me, as even I have fucked up writing about my trans woman character in the past. I’ve learned a lot since then, but I think I am still learning and would rather not educate someone on a topic such as that. Also this post is already long and I am Tired of writing about this topic lol) 

I rambled a lot as usual and I am so so sorry. It’s late and this was SUCH a broad question I didn’t?? Really know how to answer so YEAH SORRY if this is no help at all!! I tried my best!!

[datheetjoella]

if u r up for it Strength and AAAALLLLL those questions!!!! but if u don't want to do them all then 1 to 5!!;u; (i like.. almost always choose strength 'cause it makes me nostalgic fhsdgghj sorry about that!!)

Of course I’m up for all of the questions! ^^ Thank you for sending this! (And don’t apologise!! I’m very glad that you like Strength enough to ask me about it!)

Strength

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I could summarise what sparked the idea of Strength in one sentence. However, I’m not going to tell you because it is a spoiler for a scene that has not been written yet and I’m really, really excited about that scene and therefore I don’t want to spoil it. So let’s just say I got a certain idea that sparked the concept of this fic.

2. What scene did you first put down?

The very first scene at the beginning of the fic: Makoto sleeping over at Haru’s house and Haru noticing that Makoto’s acting different from usual. I always write in chronological order so naturally that was the first scene that I wrote. However, the first scene that I imagined and crafted out in my head was the scene that I mentioned above.

3. What’s your favorite line of narration?

I am never able to answer this question. It’s simply impossible for me to pick one line that stands out, because most lines are pretty meaningless without the entire context and the other lines. Therefore, I decided to do something a little differently: I’m going to share one of my favourite lines in the wip of chapter 5. So, this chapter has not been published yet so it can still change, but it’s a tiny, tiny preview.

‘Although Makoto was usually more reserved in terms of physical contact as well, Haruka figured that he felt the same need, to have the closeness of someone he could build upon, someone to hold onto and be held by during the most difficult time of his life.’ 

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Same with the last question, I find it hard to pick a fav so I’ll show you a line of dialogue from chapter 5 as well. This is kind of a spoiler, but I’m confident that not many people will read this, anyway, so it’ll be a little inside spoiler for a few. 

‘“You really love Onii-chan, don’t you?”’

5. What part was the hardest to write?

Honestly, it’s not a specific scene but more the factor of tying plot-points together, if that makes sense. When I’m in the middle of a scene I know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to continue, but I always have difficulty ending one scene and starting another in a way that flows together nicely and doesn’t feel like it’s odd. I hope I succeed in it, haha.

6. What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I’m not sure, to be honest. To me, for some reason, Strength just has a very special place in my heart. It’s weird to say this about my own fic and I’m not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I think that Strength may be my “best” fic in terms of story and development. I’m sure not everyone agrees with this or likes it, but I suppose I’m kind of proud of it. I work really hard on it, even if you wouldn’t say that because I only update like twice a year. I just hope that other people like it, too. At least enough to stick around till the end, which I’m definitely going to write.

7. Where did the title come from?

I have no idea. Usually I find coming up with titles to be one of the hardest things to do, but for some reason, in this case I just knew from the start that it was supposed to be titled “Strength”. Because to me, Strength captures everything this fic is about. In order to battle with cancer, you have to be strong, physically but especially mentally. And when someone you love gets cancer, you want to be there for them and support them throughout everything. You want to be their strength - which is what Haru wants to be for Makoto. To me, “Strength” symbolises Haru’s unconditional love and support throughout these bitter times for Makoto. But I suppose it’s open to interpretation.

8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Yes and no. I wouldn’t necessarily say that anyone or anything inspired the fic itself, but I’d rather say that I, as the author, was inspired by some people. Not any people I know, but I’ve done my research and watched documentary-esque tv shows about children with cancer and I suppose it sort of affected my view on the entirety of cancer. And with that, I can write this fic from my heart. So, indirectly I suppose.

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yes! I already told you but in case anyone else is reading this, I’ll say it again:

In the very first idea for Strength, everyone had cancer. Everyone. Haru gets diagnosed with cancer as a kid and is admitted to a hospital where he meets Makoto, who also has cancer. One by one other kids come in (Nagisa, Rin, eventually Rei and Ai) and the story would be about their lives at the hospital. In this version, at least one person died and that would be Nagisa - no spoilers on any other characters because that might spoil the real concept.

So I suppose you can all be glad that Strength developed into what it is now.

10. Why did you chose this pairing for this particular story?

It’s MakoHaru. Everything is MakoHaru.

11.What do you like best about this fic?

Pfft I don’t know. I suppose the emotional rollercoaster that the readers are subjected to. And the unsure ending, that is also fun.

12. What do you like least about this fic?

This fic is taking me a lot of time and therefore, my writing style changes throughout the fic. I’m not really much of a fan of chapter 1 anymore, for example. If I were to re-write it right now, it would probably be a little different not in terms of plot but in terms of style, I suppose. I don’t have time for that anyway so it’s just going to stay as it is.

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I listen to all kinds of music, really. But for this fic specifically, I listen a lot to ‘Save Our Last Goodbye’ by Disturbed. This song is about the loss of a friend but that does not necessarily mean that the story will go one way or another. It just really puts me in that sad, sad mood. For the more “happy” moments, I listen to ‘I’ll Be There’ by Hollywood Undead, and although this song is also about the loss of a friend which again, doesn’t have to mean anything, it has a more upbeat melody and that perfectly symbolises the tone of this fic for me; even in the happy moments, the sadness and agony is always hidden underneath. Next to that I’m a fan of Yiruma’s piano music, which is absolutely gorgeous and is great for writing anything in general.

14. Is there anything you want the readers to learn from this fic?

Not really; the main purpose of this fic is to entertain, not to inform. Although I want to give representation for both cancer patients and their loved ones in this fic, I’m not exactly the most valid source of information. Of course, I do my very best to make things as accurate as possible, but I wouldn’t blindly believe what I state because I’m just a writer-person and not an oncologist.

15. What did you learn from this fic?

I learned a bunch of stuff about cancer, acute lymphocytic leukemia to be exact. But I also learned that writing angst is so much fun and I love leaving the readers in the dark.

Thank you so much for asking me all these things!

Ask me about one of my fics