#I don't think he was thinking about the apocalypse in anything but the most general terms until

[winepresswrath]

The thing about Crowley is that he already tried fighting* the system and the end result was his fellow rebels making a new system suspiciously similar to the old system with torture pits and demotivational posters in place of the aggressive hypocrisy and kardashiancore interior decorating. And then after that he decided to fight the apocalypse and the apocalypse thwarted itself with minimal involvement required from him. His biggest contribution was fucking up a simple handoff completely accidentally. His apparent belief that it'll all sort itself out without him or it won't and either way his involvement will be largely irrelevant to everyone but himself is pretty well founded. I'm sure by the end of season three he'll have learned a valuable lesson about how admitting that you want to make positive contributions to the world is something you can do on your own terms and not simply an exercise in opening yourself up to god's preordained judgement and hell's torture pits and but he's old and tired and has probably never been kissed let him have a very specific vision for his retirement.

*ok his version of fighting was probably just asking a lot of very annoying questions and then semi-accidentally joining a rebellion.

[dangermousie]

A danmei lover's biased and incomplete het web novel rec list

@mercipourleslivres thanks for inspiring me!

When it comes to Chinese web novels, I mainly read danmei. I tend not to care too much for OP heroine with a hero who dotes on her for no reason as she fights with 14 year olds narratives, nor inner courtyard fights. BUT!!! There are some het web novels I like and so here is my biased and incomplete rec list. Most of these don't have OP heroines, and very little to none courtyard fights.

Before I start, my favorite het web novel authors are: Gong Xinwen, Mo Shu Bai, Peng Lai Ke, and Jiu Lu Fei Xiang. I have yet to read anything bad by them.

Anyway, rec list:

1000 Miles of Bright Moonlight - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior (but also terminally?) ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

Accompanying the Phoenix - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

Apocalypse Arrival - Gong Xinwen’s novels are made just for me. Her heroines are always powerful as fuck and rescue abused MLs. In this novel, our heroine who lives in the post-apocalyptic world, wakes up right before that apocalypse happens. She forms a survival crew and also rescues ML who has miraculous blood and has been drained of it and is now hunted after the rescue for it. SO GOOD!!!

Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection.) Much better than the drama which I did enjoy.

The Blue Whisper - the drama was so-so, but the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love.

Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero and @mercipourleslivres telling me to be patient. She was right, by the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

Dandere General and His Lord - hi there, Gong Xinwen! God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

Demon King's Repayment - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

Doomed to Be Cannon Fodder - I hesitated to put this one on the list because by the end I was not keen on how misogynistic novel got to original female lead but it was one of my earliest novels and I loved it for 90% and it’s fucking hilarious at times. Heroine transmigrates as bit villainess into a novel, all she wants is not to die, but her new attitude of “pls stay away” catches the attention of her terrifying general husband. Honestly, imo still worth it.

Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir - my n1 novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl - my n2 novel on this list. Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

Futu Tower - the drama (Unchained Love) was a mess but the novel is such a lovely, dark exploration of coming back to life, for the ML from his dark revenge-strewn path and for heroine from not being allowed wishes of her own. She is a tribute bride, he’s a (fake) eunuch, they are both servants who use themselves to achieve goals and find peace and happiness together.

The Grand Princess - a tale where both members of the OTP reincarnate as their younger selves after killing each other in their 50s, and get a new start, this is smart and slow and so good in portraying old souls in young bodies. Their rediscovery of not just each other but themselves and their passion for living is just AAAAAA!

Heroine Saves Gentleman - Gong Xinwen novel so we have a tough martial artist lady saving a very upper class scholar and it goes from there. If elegant gorgeous ML being saved and protected (and lovingly dommed) by awesome FL is your bag, pls come right in.

Husband Be a Gentleman - schemer meet schemer. He’s an idle prince she’s perfect daughter, in reality both are wolves out for blood. Mmmm. Very OTP gets together early and is us against the world.

I’ll Be the Male Lead’s Sister in Law - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

I Married a Disabled Tyrant After Transmigrating - if you have a Florence Nightingale complex, this is for you. Heroine wakes up as tribute bride to an almost dead dragon lord and slowly nurses him back to life as his rivals try to murder him. They are both utter adorable babies!

Let the Villain Go - another Gong Xinwen novel, this and Apocalypse Arrivals are AUs of each other. Heroine is surviving in the apocalypse, ML is the “bugbear” of the world but in reality just reacting to all abuse and torture and after she accidentally saves him, devotes himself. Fun fun fun!

Long Wind Crossing - Amazing ML and FL who grow together, clever plot, arranged marriage to love etc etc. Oh, and one point he feeds her his blood to keep her alive, what’s not to love? (Adapted into Chang Feng Du/Destined)

Lost You Forever - this is a short but delicately wistful tale of trauma and loss and love, wrapped in a high fantasy setting but so relatable despite it.

Love In Another Life: My Gentle Tyrant - so so fucked up in the best way! ML cannot live with OR without heroine. It opens on them banging in jail night before her execution (ordered by him) with corpses of men he killed for trying to defile her cooling nearby. If you want healthy relationships with respectful boundaries, gentle and considerate male leads who are modern men in period clothes, OP heroines who have everyone help them and are OP to the max, fluff and wholesomeness, that is about the worst book for you.If you want complexity, dysfunction, darkness, pain and an absolutely lyrical even if fucked up story, come right IN!!!!I am so fucking in love with the melancholy heroine, with ruthless psycho hero and the endless regret and devotion and paaaaain!

The Marquis Is Innocent - our heroine is a beautiful woman married to a warlord who hates her family. (Yes, this was gonna be The Prisoner of Beauty until SZE tax scandal.) Except she's a transmigrator from the future who knows how it ended last time around and has no interest to end up this tragically. This is in my top 5 - FL is smart but believably so (and doesn't have super battle powers) and ML is a believable period warlord. The way their relationship develops so gradually and the way his character changes so gradually as well (and the way they slowly fall in love, her slower than him) is just amazing. It is such a smart, nuanced, gorgeous slow burn. With some gonzo sex scenes :P

Mulberry Song - you like tragic endings? Come right IN! This is short and heartbreaking and wistful and very what-if.

Nightfall (Ever Night) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. 

Offering Salted Fish to Master - in some ways, this novel is a mess, but I am recommending it because this is a rare example of "nope he's 100% a villain and murderdude and odd, but he does love the heroine" that the author commits to.

Pihanjin - yet another awesome PLK novel, this is once again, like with Marquis, a ruthless man and a beautiful woman getting a second chance on a second go-around. FL is a lot more wounded this time around though. If you LOVE watching ML grovel and slowly, gradually win FL over, this one is for you.

Princess Agents - a dark tale with an incredibly competent and militarily powerful/ruthless heroine and two terrifying men who love her (but neither is as terrifying as she is.) There is an OTP switch halfway through that shockingly makes sense and it's just SO SO GOOOOOOOD

Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage - this is probably the one “typical” novel on this list, heroine is reborn as her youngest self and gets revenge on those who wronged her last time around. It is really really well-written and heroine is competent, hero is doting and powerful etc. It’s not a trope I tend to love but I do when it’s done THIS well.

Rebirth of the Tyrant’s Pet: Regent Prince is Too Fierce: Borgias cnovel style! Our heroine was empress in last life and put her husband on the throne tho he did not love her. However, he had her executed and had his half-brother carry out the orders and heroine died horrifically. She opens her eyes and she’s a little girl again. The OTP this time around is heroine and half-brother executioner. Why do I love it? Heroine is smart and tough but also this is a rare rebirth novel where heroine does NOT decide to seek revenge for past life wrongs because they haven’t happened yet! In fact, she sees ML abused and stands up for him because he’s a kid and no kid should be mistreated and this go around he hasn’t done anything wrong. She also gets and likes her former life husband. Anyway, this is fakecest galore because she’s supposed to be their half-sister and while she knows (from past life) she is not, they do not and fall for her anyway. ML is especially gonzo, at one point carving chunks of his flesh to save her. He’s feral and unhinged and she’s the one person he worships because she protected him and like - it’s all awesome. (I love secondary ML too.)

Reborn to Love Lord Qiansui - yes, this is a eunuch novel! If you like gender tropes reversals, this one is for you. Heroine is a tough martial artist, hero is a smart as hell and powerful eunuch. A real eunuch. Heroine finds out she owes him her life and decides to protect him. This is a total delight and an awesome love story between two really scarred people. And yes, there is sex - heroine literally reads manuals on pegging :P

Return of the Swallow - so freaking long! But really good. Heroine is neither transmigrator nor reincarnator, just a smart period woman. She is a lost family daughter taken back in. Her father is a minister in a dying empire (father-daughter relationship is one of the best things in this novel), her OTP is enemy general, and the smartness and the awesomeness of this all knows no bounds.

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes - probably the wackiest JLFX novel I read, this is quite different from Love You Seven Times drama that was adapted from it. Our deity protagonists go through a bunch of lives figuring out they fancy each other. It's light like a souffle but just as delicious.

To Be a Virtuous Wife - some people prefer 8 treasures trousseau but I never warmed up to that one. This one is so good, with smart people (who actually enjoy sex, a ratity) and a perfect mix of plot and romance.

Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - my very first web novel. A lot lighter than a lot of the ones on this list but a total delight. Heroine transmigrates into a novel as the heroine; she has no interest in drama or chasing true love, she just wants to live a nice life with her nice husband. Too bad for her, her husband has reincarnated into his younger self and remembers how she betrayed him, so is not interested. This one is funny and light and romance doesn’t start till late on but a total delight!

Wishing You Eternal Happiness - this is tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach.

Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

The Yandere Came During the Night - a bit of fluff that’s oddly delightful. Heroine is reborn as a (fake) sister of ML, she hurts her legs saving him and the “siblings” form a bond that ends up in fakecest delight. They are both smart and efficient and he becomes a sexy marquis etc.

[astupidweeb69]

You know x-virus don’t get enough love…. Do you have any head cannons regular or nsfw (maybe both)??

I've been thinking about this guy a lot lately for some reason. Also I've never written for Cody before so hopefully this came out okay.

I was going to work on Toby's but.... I have more inspiration for Cody at the moment. He absolutely doesn't get enough love!

X-Virus Headcannons

SFW

Isn't related to Toby at all. In fact doesn't really look like him either. Sure, he's got the brown hair, but he looks waaay more dorky than Toby does. While Toby has kind of a boy-next-door-from-hell look to him, Cody is more slender and works out less. He looks like your typical STEM student (sickly complexion, poor nutrition, etc.). His whole schtick requires him to stay indoors most of the time, in a make-shift lab.

Has a refrigerated van, which he paid to be converted to safely transport whatever science experiments he's got going on in a temperature-controlled environment.

He tries to stay in one place. He's less of a drifter than most of the other creeps but sometimes... the things he does requires him to uproot his life and start over in another town. (No Cody you can't just infect your landlord with a mutated form of tuberculosis when they raise your rent! There will be consequences!)

Has kind of a nasally voice. I feel like he always has a bit of a cold too.

Ironically has a shitty immune system, and probably drinks those Airborne Immune Support drink mixes like it's his job. Also a germaphobe, wearing medical gloves all the time, and his hands are dry and cracked from overusing sanitizer.

LOVES Re-animator. He's rewatched that movie more times than he can count. But he has a love for science fiction movies in general, with horror elements to them. Like Alien.

Also loves zombie apocalypse movies, but that's an obvious one. Specifically 28 Days Later and World War Z.

Sometimes he's like... should I try to make a zombie virus? nah.... unless...?

I also think he was raised by a single father, who worked for a large pharmaceutical company.

Antisocial. I know Toby and him are compared a lot and people give them similar 'hyperactive' personalities, but I don't see that for Cody at all.

Cody's more focused, and is less inclined to interact with others. He doesn't really get lonely?

I'd say he'd get along okay with someone like EJ (both like science, ya know?).

Toby and him hang out a bit - they'll stay in and watch movies together. Or Cody will tag along with him to a bar and watch as Toby fails to pick up anybody. Cody wouldn't say it to his face, but it makes him feel better about his own social skills to see Toby strike out like that.

NSFW (Under the cut!)

I don't know how he'd find himself in this situation - but if he DID have a partner.... the sex would be kind of bland at first?

He doesn't know what he wants and frankly is too much of a germaphobe to get up close and personal with someone he doesn't know well.

You'd have to spend months getting to know him for him to feel comfortable to engage in anything sexual.

I think at the start of the relationship, he'd want to experiment with voyeurism.

He'd be across the room watching you touch yourself, giving you directions while he slowly strokes his cock, loving the feeling of ordering you around.

But as things escalate, of course, he'd give in to his urges. However, the voyeurism would become how he likes to foreplay.

Out of all the creeps (most of whom I view as being dominant) he's actually pretty tame.

He whimpers a lot, and it sounds almost pathetic when he moans. He's been holding out for so long for the right person, and when he finally gets to fuck he's absolutely drunk off of you.

That said, his sex drive is about average.

One of his roleplay fantasies is him being the experienced scientist, and you being his lovely little assistant.

Probably started after the first time you helped him in his lab.

He just kept thinking of you in a tiny little lab coat, bent over his desk - papers and test tubes falling to the ground while his hips piston into you.

[inklore]

🩸 — 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!

since the spooky season is fast approaching, and as a little kinktober appetizer, @psychedelic-ink and i have decided to do a little writing challenge to get us all excited and in the mood to be gripping the sheets from the spooky thrills of course.

and to keep this fun we have given you many many options! we have compiled a twelve day prompts list you can go by, or if that's not your thing we have listed twenty three different pick and choose options to create whatever kind of fic you want, even if you want to do half the days daily prompts but switch out this prompt dialogue for that au or trope or kink, you can literally do whatever your heart desires!

THE RULES.

the challenge will go on from the 19th - 30th of this month. you can do as many or as little amount of days as you choose.

any fandoms are welcome, literally any characters, ships, but please no rpf.

no minors should be interacting with let alone posting for this challenge.

dark content, light content, dubcon/noncon, is all welcomed but please tag everything accordingly. grooming, underage, and incest however are not allowed.

there are no word limits but please use that readmore.

tag #hauntedhoedown so we can read and reblog your work!

DAY ONE: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."

DAY TWO: murder plot au (lets kill this person together) + "crawl to me"

DAY THREE: inspired by your favorite lana del rey song (if not a lana fan then any fav song of yours) + stalker / yandere au or love triangle gone wrong

DAY FOUR: artificial intelligence au + "here, you are. you tiny thing."

DAY FIVE: gothic au + “worship me. until i tell you to stop.” + a masquerade au or a good ol' priest au

DAY SIX: animal shapeshifter au + "he's a monster" + "he's perfect"

DAY SEVEN: stranded au or slasher / summer camp au + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

DAY EIGHT: cosmic horror au + "you're a fucking nightmare. kiss me."

DAY NINE: “do you like it when i bleed for you?” + the toxic exes trope or cult au

DAY TEN: zombie apocalypse au + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."

DAY ELEVEN: black swan au or inspired by your fav psychological thriller + “they die for love, you kill for it.”

DAY TWELVE: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."

if following the above isn't your thing and you want to pick and choose yourself that's great! we also highly rec this random generator if you wanna live life by the edge, each category has 23 options to pick and choose from so customize the generator accordingly!

AUs:

steampunk / cyber punk

fairytale retelling

revenge

mythology / monster

virtual reality

gothic

taboo (see great options here)

slasher

game gone wrong

witchcraft

addams family

bonnie and clyde

spy / secret agent

assassins

x-files

circus / carnival

hitch hiking

basement wife

time travel

urban legend(s)

american horror story inspired

vampire / supernatural

pirate / mermaid

DIALOGUE PROMPTS:

"do you like when i touch you like this? i can keep going if you want me to."

"i can see how badly you want this, so i'm going to make sure you get it." 

“this fear you feel? it won't last.”

“you are mine, whether you agree or not.”

“why do you keep following me?”

"i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together."

"you're not actually scared are you? of me?"

"i'm so close, can you feel it?"

"tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, no matter the cost."

"you're like a sickness, a disease, and the only way for me to be cured of you is to let you completely consume me until my body has no fight left."

"i want to see you bleed."

"they're dead...because of you."

“i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”

“everything i've done.. every horrible atrocity, it's been for you.”

"it's just a little blood."

“don't you know how sick with love i am for you?”

“i would burn the world for you.”

"this is so fucked up." "you like it."

"finders keepers."

"what's your favorite scary movie?"

"tell me you want me back. tell me i'm forgiven."

"you're a monster." "that's never stopped you before."

"i've killed for you, who else can say that?"

TROPES:

mob / mafia

soft!dark

dubcon / noncon

soulmate / fated mates

mind control / telepathy

cheating

final girl

once is not enough

haunted manor

dark academia

enemies to lovers

haunted object

vengeful ghost

coven

ritual / sacrifice / blood magic

unrequited love

creation / creator vs monster

'i'll find you in every universe / century'

reverse harem

cursed / fuck or die

curiosity killed the cat

theatre phantom

fate worse than death

KINKS:

biting

corruption / authoritarian

somnophilia

begging

dacryphilia

breath play

knife play / blood play

jealousy / sharing / possessive

aphrodisiacs

hunter / prey

humiliation / degradation

mirror sex

deprivation / immobilized / bondage

costume

size

orgasm denial / overstimulation / edging

body worship

shotgunning / swallowing / facial

gagging

torture / surrender

hate sex / make up sex / phone sex

magical healing [redacted]

soft!dom / pleasure!dom

ETC PROMPTS:

a summer fling gone horrible wrong, or right

1970s porno filming (turned into a blood bath)

touch her and die except who the hell are you and why are you obsessed with me?

a trip to the circus (or carnival) ends with you stuck there...forever

you just inherited this creepy mansion where people where murdered what could go wrong?

a ritual gone wrong and now i'm bound to a demon

if 'this person' ever found out about this they would kill both of us (literally)

oh no i'm dating the town serial killer

passionate professor tells me to prove my devotion to the craft / class by doing something insane

we're the last people on the planet and you will be mine

daydreaming about being with you is better than actually being with you because i missed all the red flags and now it's too late

i got casted out of my world and ended up wounded and bloodied in your backyard, convince me why i shouldn't destroy your world out of anger

vampire has a taste for specific blood and looks like you have it

the creepy neighbor is too hot to be insane, right?

i keep seeing them in my dreams and i wake up with bruises and marks on my skin, it's definitely just wild dreams, right?

loving you is easier than hating you

got stranded in some little town that seems so cute, until night hits

'this person' ordered me to kill you but i actually think i'm in love with you

my lover is wearing the same costume as you and i can't tell the difference but i'm pretty sure it's them i'm fucking in this closet...pretty sure

confessing to a murder via a silly little ghost story around a campfire (but someone reads through the lies)

how far would you go for love? for the one you love?

in a past life you were the cause of my death so i'm here to exact revenge now that i've found you

we're at a fun little horror movie reenactment except people are really dying

we tried to make this writing challenge as fun and very 'choose your own adventure-like' as much as possible because we know how hard it is to stay motivated when doing these things.

so please feel free to use any and all of the prompts, tropes, kinks, etc as you wish. we're just super excited to see what ya'll come up with!!

so good luck and stay slutty spooky <3

[lenaellsi]

it's honestly a bit odd to me that so many people have jumped on the 'aziraphale will be pulling all the strings and playing politics in heaven' train. like I think it's true that the metatron is underestimating aziraphale's intelligence and ability to disrupt the second coming even while separated from crowley, but I also think the idea that aziraphale is going up to heaven with a clear idea of how he's just been lied to, an understanding of how much danger he's in, and a plan to stop it is a huge reach.

frankly, aziraphale is very vulnerable to manipulation. I'm thinking now of neil’s post with the diary entry from before the edinburgh minisode where he was duped by two humans, the whole thing with the nazis in 1941, and his sponsorship of shadwell's various obviously fake agents (sergeant milkbottle, etc.). he's not nearly as savvy as fanon tends to portray him. he takes people at face value, especially people he thinks of as Good. (that's not a dunk, btw--I find these things endearing, and a sign of aziraphale's innate wish to see the best in people. I just think that sometimes the BAMF protective aziraphale of fanon overshadows the slightly more naive aziraphale of canon. and honestly, I also think TV aziraphale is just a bit softer than book aziraphale, though he is capable of stepping up when it counts.)

and he's a bad liar! I know it's a meme in the fandom that aziraphale lies all the time, but he doesn't like it, and he's bad at it. he gets nervous and comes up with terrible excuses and the only reason he ever gets away with it is because the people he's lying to are idiots (gabriel), have their own agendas (god, the other archangels), or trust him to be honest (crowley).

aziraphale's real strength is his ability to take sudden, completely unexpected action. that's one of the things that crowley admires most about him. "he's unpredictable," is what he says to nina, and it's true! aziraphale's greatest moments of rebellion have always come from spur of the moment decisions, not intricate plans. (if anything, crowley is the planner--the arrangement and the thwarting of the apocalypse, their two longest cons, were both his idea.)

aziraphale gives the sword away because when he is forced to make a decision under pressure, he tends to land on the side of rebellious kindness. shielding crowley from the rain in eden, lying to gabriel to protect job's family, defying the quartermaster and returning to earth via possession during the apocalypse, blowing up his halo--he does these things because he's following that same impulse. when aziraphale has time to over think, he frets and fusses and is paralyzed by indecision. (or worse, he falls back on what heaven has taught him.)

TL;DR: I don't think aziraphale has any sort of grand plan other than a generalized "make things better," and I certainly don't think he is planning to betray heaven. he might try to come up with a plan once he figures out how bad things are going to get, but my bet is that what will actually disrupt the second coming is an absolutely bonkers off the wall decision that no one, crowley included, could ever predict. and I think it’ll happen, as it usually does with aziraphale, just after he accepts a difficult truth that fundamentally shifts his worldview—in this case, his final rejection of the idea of “good” and “bad” people, and of the entire morality system of heaven and hell.

[badkitty3000]

What do you think Klaus think Five's ideal type is?

Klaus and Five are my absolute favorite dynamic, in case you hadn't noticed :)

So, here's my take. Klaus has a fandom reputation as being the out-to-lunch weirdo and screw-up (I am guilty of doing this as well). And he is...but they all are, so that's not really fair. Klaus is actually very observant of his surroundings, as well as people. It's just that he usually doesn't bother telling anybody anything of note because historically no one listens to him anyway, and after a lifetime of being ignored or laughed at, he has learned to keep most things to himself. But I would say he is the one that has actually paid closer attention to Five since he returned than any of them have.

He is the only one that acknowledges how lonely Five must have been during his time in the Apocalypse (well, Luther kind of does too I guess). He's the only one that actually listens to Five most of the time and wants to spend time with him, whereas everyone else either brushes Five off or blames him for everything ("You're a good brother"😭😭) . He notices that Five is wearing aftershave! 😂

Knowing all of that, I believe Klaus would have a really good grasp on the kind of person Five should be with. He'd be a good wing-man if they were out at a bar. I could see some very cute but dumb-looking girl wandering over to try and talk to Five, but Klaus spies her first and gets in between them, blocking her path. He looks her up and down, judging her, then starts firing questions off like some sort of sphynx with riddles that must be answered correctly before anyone can get by.

"Quick, what is the capital of Zimbabwe?"

She looks blankly up at him. "What?"

"What is the square root of 6,789 rounded to the nearest 100th?"

She stands there, blinking vacantly. "What?"

Klaus waves her off with a dismissive hand. "Shoo...get out of here. You aren't fit to breathe the same air as my brother."

He would know that Five needs someone extremely smart and nurturing, but feisty and sexual at the same time.

Five walks up to Klaus, looking confused and frowning. "The weirdest thing just happened to me. I overheard this woman say she was a pediatric oncologist that volunteers at homeless shelters, but when she walked up to the bar she threatened to kick me in the balls if I didn't get out of her way, then she smacked me on the ass."

Klaus looks excitedly around the bar. "Well don't let her get away, Fivey! Go after her!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That's your dream woman, dummy! I can hear wedding bells already! Go on...go get her, you sexy freak, you!"

Klaus turns Five around by the shoulders and shoves him in the general direction of the woman, while Five just ambles away, completely dumbfounded, but also not arguing. Klaus watches with a smile on his face as he orders another drink and silently congratulates himself on his superb match-making skills.

I feel like I could write a whole long, hilarious scenario of Klaus playing matchmaker for Five, but I'll stop since this is getting too long already. But to sum it up, Klaus would know best out of everyone who would be a good match for Five. Maybe even more than Five would! A smart, sweet, but sexy and strong lady that could hold her own against his ex-assassin brother. And probably someone he'd get along with himself, because Klaus is also a bit selfish and he wouldn't want to hang out with anyone he wasn't also compatible with. 😂

[nessacousland]

can i ask what was ur problem with treviso? i actually found treviso and the crows to be the most interesting faction out of all of them so maybe im just biased LOL

Okay, full disclosure: I was on vacation and didn’t get to play Veilguard until the 8th of November. Couldn’t take the potential spoilers everywhere, so I've been cramming these past few days to finish the game asap (I still did every side quest, had all factions at max strength and got the “best” ending etc. but didn’t do every chests/stats puzzle). By the time the Treviso questline concluded, I'd been fully marinating in the sauce of all the other criminally stupid quests, is what I’m trying to say, and Treviso was emblematic of every problem I already had with this game. It was my breaking point.

To start with, the questline is offensively generic and an actual insult to the players’ intellect. Painfully linear, cartoon villains abound and nothing of any substance was ever said during its run.

The moment Caterina told us about Lucanis’ non-death, I called Illario being the traitor. There were no clever misdirects, there were no other leads, nope, they showed us his hand *immediately*. Grandma First Talon of the murder guild has a clear favorite and didn’t tell the ‘spare’ heir about her suspicions? Yeah, okay. Repeat FAMILY as often as you want, you piss-poor Godfather knockoff of a questline, I ain't buying.

So, from the start, all tension is gone, I'm just sitting there waiting for the rest of these “capable” assassins who “rule Antiva from the shadows” to catch on to this incredibly obvious plot twist. Meanwhile, the quests had absolutely nothing interesting to say - about the Crows or Treviso. The first bad guy was, predictably, an evil evil Venatori, super more evil than the evil evil Venatori you've seen before, guys, she literally BATHES IN BLOOD. Omg, right? 🙄 (I found Tevinter infinitely more compelling when their entire ruling class were power-hungry tyrants out of self-interest instead of being hit over the head with the mustache-twirling villain/crazed cultist stick).

Mr. “totally not the traitor” kills Zara before she can tell us anything of substance, she dies,clearly shocked, calling him “Amatus”...AND NO ONE CATCHES ON. You can have Neve on the team, Bellara regularly reads Tevinter serials (the whole team has a fucking book club in the middle of an apocalypse), you can play a freaking Shadow Dragon Rook, but nah, nothing. We don’t even get to ask “Uh, what was that?”. Instead, we get to sit through more pointless missives/quests while the ever capable Crows are totally investigating the traitor.

Now, you could argue that the “Amatus” was a reward to tip off those of us who’ve played the previous games and know what the term means. But with a plot this threadbare and obvious…did the writers think they’re Agatha Christie here? Did they really think I was at the edge of my seat, desperate to find out “whodunit” and grateful for any crumbs thrown my way?

Well, anyway, we are told a million times over that super charming (where?) Illario is just “like that” every time he acts super freaking suspicious. (The funeral thing with Caterina's ashes was especially funny.)

You'd think those instances would start to add up and prompt someone - anyone - to start using their brains (don't we have a goddamn detective on our team?!), but NOPE. We have to corpse-whisper to progress this questline. One of the biggest ass-pulls they've introduced via this game in general, in my opinion (is this Forbidden Realms and we just unlocked the Speak with the Dead spell?) - and it acts as the deus ex machina here to finally give us a clue. Wow, thanks.

The entire sequence of Lucanis confronting Illario in front of the assembled mafia felt like something out of an Antivan play. So goddamn goofy. I thought that vibe was charming in Josephine's romance quest - Antivans live for the drama - but they wanted us to take this moment seriously. This is Lucanis confronting his “all he has left” (don't get me started on the Fade sequence - apparently we the players can’t grasp anyone's motivations without having them spelled out for us over and over again) for putting him through hell and changing his entire being forever. Should I be laughing right now?

To make matters worse,we're told that the Crows are the perfect killers who never leave a contract unfinished - and then Lucanis spares Illario because the humiliation is the biggest punishment??? Like, I'm fine with him faltering here, that’s human. But this should have had consequences. This is the murder guild we're talking about here. Lucanis’ parents were literally killed in a different house’s coup attempt. He was just made the head mobster, immediately showed weakness in front of the entire mafia and everything is just dandy fine??? Because FAMILY?

Another personal gripe with this is that - as always - Rook had zero agency. No matter what you do, Lucanis will forgive or spare Illario. Imagine if we had the option to convince him to kill him instead. Imagine the resulting resentment tainting our bond with him and having us actively engage with fixing or breaking it. Imagine us going along with his mercy but hashing out the painful consequences for his house with him. But that’s not the game Veilguard is.

Anyway, the quest then becomes even more ridiculous. We've long learned that a human traitor helped the Antaam claim Treviso overnight. Someone with great knowledge of the city and the necessary power to make it happen. Gee, I'm sure the human GOVERNOR regularly hanging out in the Crow headquarters or the market bitching about the Crows’ interference 24/7 - the ONLY town official we get to see - had nothing to do with it. Five scarves fluttered in shock out of five, great job, guys.

The Butcher thing was just…weird. Like, we get to hear and build him up as this totally different antaam leader, cruel but cunning and calculating, someone who will be difficult to dethrone. Only for him to show up out of nowhere and serve no other purpose than to move the main plot forward asap and die. Lol, thanks for your service, I guess.

Then Ivenci, for no fucking reason, decides that they, like any good cartoon villain, should reveal themselves to us just in order to gloat. Um, why don’t they simply order the Antaam to murder us dead right then and there? If Rook and their plucky team of friends are too powerful for that, why haven’t we taken Treviso by force already? But nah, lol, our plot armor doesn’t have any cracks yet, so they literally tell us to go away and try to disturb the gods’ plans, because those guys will totally kill us for them.

Now, we wait again. Excuse me, isn’t this a questline about assassins? Why aren’t we trying to, y'know, assassinate Ivenci? Cut off the snakes's head, how often have we heard this phrase otherwise? Nah, let's wait till we get another letter that shit is going down that the Crows totally didn’t anticipate and THEN let's confront them. (Ofc, the Crows’ investigation of the qamek stalled forever. Cause they’re incompetent.)

But the thing that really broke me…we KNOW Ivenci stole a bunch of special qamek. We run at them THROUGH A GREEN POISON CLOUD. And my Rooks's just like “Huhhh? Is something possibly messing with my mind right now?”. YOU STUPID POS.

And then, ofc, we end the questline and Jacobus pops outta nowhere to spare Ivenci because a good pirate never steals and a good assassin never kills, I guess. Jacobus founds his new house to basically become a big mafia family for orphans like him which everyone is super proud of, because, if the previous installments of the game have taught us anything, it's that the Crows are deeply concerned with the well-being of orphans. Whoop dee doo, the end.

Okay, more notes. It’s been mentioned plenty already that this game has completely neutered the Crows and turned them into edgy found family freedom fighters. Personally, I'm not okay with the explanation that this is simply a different house than House Arainai. Because what the actual fuck, game. Why is Ivenci the bad guy when they're literally right about everything?! Where's my option to agree with them that a fucking murder mafia shouldn’t be the ruling force of a town, let alone the entire country? Why is the municipal government the enemy while my non-Crow Rook keeps shouting “Viva the Crows”??? Are you really telling me that the Crows are the good guy mafia and House Arainai was the bad outlier? Is that what this is?

Look, I'm fine with allying with the Crows if that’s what necessity dictates. We're trying to stop the SUPER BLIGHT here. But don’t sugarcoat that this is us joining forces with the mob. The way Veilguard presents them makes me cringe cause they're basically just leather-clad incompetent fools larping as birds. Show us the reality of this alliance. Get into the nitty-gritty. Make this world feel real. God.

I *wanted* to like this questline. Out of every country in Northern Thedas, I've always been most interested in Antiva. The whole medievalesque guilds system and merchant princes, the mediterranean romance and drama, pirates and Crows, the snazzy outfits and Spanish accents, god, normally, I'm eating that shit UP. I didn’t even think twice about which city to save. Partially because Minrathous was better fortified and Venatori seemed like the lesser evil vs. blighted water, of course, but mostly because Treviso is absolutely gorgeous and Zevran and Josephine instilled a lot of love for Antiva in me that I just don’t feel for Tevinter. I also thought that the setup was very interesting - professional assassins turned into freedom fighters of their occupied turf. And it *would* have been if they had let them remain, y'know, the actual murder mafia they always were.

But aside from my gripes about the Crows’ portrayal, the entire questline was just a total nothing burger. This is the first time ever that we're actually in Antiva, our introduction, so to speak, and what do we learn about the place? That there’s strife and betrayal among the Crows? Um, yeah, Zevran covered that fifteen years ago. There’s nothing new whatsoever. Imagine if our primary goal had actually been to help the Crows free Treviso. That we're working to loosen the Butcher's grasp on the town via strategic assassinations (i.e. actual Crow missions) that also introduce us to Treviso's people/Antivan culture (taking out someone during a theatre play, for example! The drama!), the internal politics of the Merchant princes and the municipal government's struggle to keep this occupied city from imploding. Imagine us getting caught up in this web of intrigue as we get closer and closer to the Butcher and then suddenly, we're being played. And only *then* do we start to suspect a traitor among the Crows’ ranks and the whole thing unravels. Spitballing even further, why repeat the Crow/Venatori romance in a random side quest with random people? Why not have Zara and Illario be actually in love, but he kills her for his ambition anyway? And instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he blames Lucanis for forcing his hand? Or maybe, they both thought they were playing the other and as another power hungry asshole, Zara almost respects Illario for the hussle as she dies? *Some* messiness and drama? (Cause Varric’s initial narration sequence made Zara seem like this blood-soaked femme fatale but the actual narrative gave zero fucks about that vibe. Discount Countess Bathory wannabe).

That might just be what I would have wanted and nobody else, but I still maintain that anything would have been better than this cookie-cutter, baby’s first mafia story that is beat for beat exactly what you'd expect and have seen before.

Well, this was a long rant. I don’t intend to make a habit of shitting on things others enjoy on here, but my emotions are still running high after finishing the game yesterday and you did ask. Sorry.

[kujakumai]

would you like to elaborate on the "catastrophic mommy issues"? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on that lol

Thief King is a child raised by a mass of vengeful tortured souls in the ruined basement where they all died, all of whom are in effect a stand-in for family/community/parents. They are all TKB has left, and they are highly protective of him; they seem not entirely within their right minds, not capable of competent childcare, and they give him explicit instructions on how to destroy and take over the world, which he follows enthusiastically.

I think about this a lot, like a lot a lot, and while we don't see much I think its gotta be a very tangled dynamic. When writing him I tend to use "mom issues" or general references to his mom as an emotional stand in because I think she's probably the most likely person he'd remember clearly when he needs a real face, but that's not necessary. All of Kul Elna is Mom for these purposes.

There is a lot going on here, for example:

>Kul Elna does not seem to leave the temple unless accompanied, or at very least they prefer to stay there. This means TKB probably spent a significant portion of his childhood in the same ruins and possibly the same room where he watched everyone die. Cool! Great!

>Kul Elna appears to be only partially corporeal, limited in their ability to do much besides menace, and TKB says they are "in hell" (unclear what that means). I do not think they are up to the daily tasks of feeding, bathing, or taking care of a small child. I think he probably grew up as an urchin mainly in squalor.

The closest real-life analogue to this is, probably, simply a child in the care of someone who is ill or disabled such that they cannot effectively take care of even themselves without support; so you have a situation where no one has done anything wrong, and this family loves each other very much, and the only real culprit is the society that failed them. But you're still going to end up with a kid who is not getting their needs met, is in a situation that is often stressful and sometimes scary, and that will lead to a rapid Adultification where the kid takes on the role of steward without ever having a proper childhood.

>The Zork-raising instructions were given to TKB by Kul Elna. He tells us this. I am less concerned by Kul Elna's obviously Zork-influenced plan to destroy everything than I am its effect on a 16 year old boy who loves them very much because they're all he has left in the entire world. When did they bring this up? Is it recent? Has it been an ongoing plan for years--has TKB effectively been raised on the idea that he is to be Egypt's own destined apocalypse maiden? How fucked up would that be?

Fandom is hesitant, I think, to ascribe anything malicious to Kul Elna or suggest that their relationship with TKB is sinister--which, for the record, I don't think it is, I think this fucked-up little family has nothing but love for this kid in the depths of whatever humanity they have left--because Kul Elna gets such an unjust treatment in canon it makes us incandescent. Yet the same would apply to TKB--if they want the world in ruins and him at the top, how could he even think anything different? After everything the pharaoh did to them, and to you, of the life they deprived you of? Impossible to suggest something different. You can't tell him they're wrong. What's that old softer world bit; I am a pacifist, and I will be a pacifist until I die, or someone threatens my mother.

>TKB does not need survivors guilt to be an unfailingly loyal Mama's Boy to his ghost family (Ghost's Boy?) but he's got to have it. A simultaneous immense guilt for getting out when no one else did; the immense loss of being left behind, like they all went to become this without him; the weight of being the only one left, the only one who can take revenge not only for you but for them, and if you fail then no one will remember any of their names, or yours. One chance. Avenge them or die a nobody. Don't fuck this up. It's your responsibility, like it or not, because no one else can help, and no one else can help because of what your enemies did to them, which is why you need to do it. It's almost self-justifying.

If you want me to editorialize, I don't think he actually cares much about ruling the world, nor does that goal make sense. I think in the back of his little brain he thinks that if he wins he finally gets to join them somehow.

tldr; I think TKB's relationship with whatever the hell Kul Elna has going on is way, way more complicated and nuanced than even he is consciously aware of and you can love someone very much and still fuck them up immensely (arguably a major them of ygo itself). TKB's has such catastrophic mommy issues he literally tries to end the world. We are talking literal apocalyptic mom issues. Cataclysmic.

[agattthaa]

Haven

Paring: Anna/Lane

Word Count: 1.052

Rating: T

How I wish Anna's diamond scene of this update was like.

Tagging: @rc-catalog

-Let me help you. 

The gentle whisper seemed to pull Anna away from a trance. It was almost like she hadn’t noticed the blood leaking out of her wound or the pain it brought before Lane had mentioned it. She gave a skeptical look at her own leg before looking away. But in her eyes there was no pain, only shame. 

-What? Oh, it’s… nothing. 

-Anna, you’re bleeding. Let me bandage your wound. 

-I told you it was nothing. It’s useless to waste time on such small matter. 

-You should know better than I do what are the consequences of an infection, especially considering how you act when I am the one hurt. 

Lane’s hand on her shoulder prevented her from even thinking about getting up and the determined look in her eyes confirmed to Anna that she wouldn’t simply let it go. When Lane decided something, not even if God descended to the earth would be capable of changing her mind. And although it was one of the reasons why Anna fell in love with her in the first place, it was also very difficult when such power was used against her. 

She let out a sigh, looking deeply into Lane’s eyes with a last plea. 

-Lane… 

-I just don't want anything to happen to you. Please. 

And although Anna knew that she needed to try to appear as strong as possible in front of the squad, in front of Dimitry, she also knew deep into her bones that she could never deny anything to Lane, not when she looked at her like that. Not when she saw the same care, affection and love that she felt reflected in Lane’s eyes. Not when she had waited so long for that to happen. 

So she simply nodded, sighing in defeat when Lane kneeled down in front of her and tore off the edge of her clothes and started to carefully tend to the wound. 

It was always an experience to see Lane in action. 

Every single thing she ever did was always executed meticulously and rationally, as if everything she did have to be made in the most pragmatic and logical way, as if her entire life was a quest to be sure that she was being useful and that she wasn’t wasting time. 

And as she felt the judgmental eyes of their coworkers and General, she desperately wanted to be more like Lane. More resourceful, more sure of herself, more useful. Not someone like herself. Not someone who makes people sacrifice over and over again without ever bringing something truly useful to the table. 

-Am I really that useless? 

She whispered so low that Lane almost didn’t hear her, even being so close. Lane’s eyes found hers in the most confused look, and Anna just wanted to rest her head against Lane’s shoulder. She wanted Lane to hug her and hold her close. She wanted to find haven in the other woman’s arms. She wanted Lane to hold her in a way that nothing else would matter. 

She wanted to make Lane’s arms her safe place, where not even the apocalypse mattered.

But she also didn’t want Lane to see her as the others did. As weak. Pathetic. Useless.

Even if her own blood saw her as a mere waste of resources, Lane shouldn’t. Lane couldn't. 

-Time and time again, I refuse to be the weakest and most useless member of the squad. And again and again I can only seem to prove that. 

 -Anyone could’ve gotten tangled in the wire, Anna. 

-But I was the one to. It’s not the first time, and it won't be the last. 

And Anna was probably looking as miserable as she felt because Lane simply sat up and held her in her arms. And somehow even when the entire world around them was completely freezing, Lane’s touch was still warm, just like sitting in front of a fireplace on a snow day. 

Anna didn’t know if she wanted to cry because of how she was feeling before the hug or because how she was feeling during it. 

She could only press closer, praying to any anel, saint or god that Lane didn’t let o of her. 

-The collapsed wing on Adam, I was in there when it happened. Dimitry saved his life to save mine. He almost didn’t… Because of my research. That’s why the squad hates me, because they think it’s useless, that I won’t succeed. And we already lost so much because of it… 

Lane still held her tight. If the information shocked or bothered her she didn’t show. And she didn’t seem to mind about it one bit, simply running her hands through Anna’s back with gentle feather-light touches, being an anchor while Anna shook more than the boat. 

-And instead of proving them wrong, all I do is screw up and get others hurt. 

She was the first to break the contact, quickly drying her face and her glasses and Lane returned to finish tending the injured leg, securing the bandage in place and tenderly ran her fingers over Anna’s leg before looking up once again in search of Anna’s eyes.

-If it's worth of something, I have always taken your research seriously. There's no one that knows as much about the infected as you do. 

It was clear that those words could not get rid of all the insecurities so deeply rooted into Anna’s heart. But it was a beginning. 

-Thank you, Lane. 

And as she helped Anna up, she continued. 

-Besides, Dimitry, Nolah, and anyone who tries to is right. You are worthy of protection too, even when you don’t think you are because you are too focused on helping everyone else. 

And a ghost of a smile showed on Anna’s face, bringing Lane more comfort than anything else on the world could. 

-I don’t need your protection, but I’ll take your support

And that was what Lane did, holding her close as she got used to the new bandage on her leg.

And on the warmth of their touch, both knew that they found a home. 

[falconearring]

Hello Falcon, first off LOVE you're AU and designs, their so unique. I was just curious and I don't think anyone's ever asked this but.. What did everyone do before the Apocalypse? Aside from Scar which you already answered. :)

Hi hi! So happy to hear you're enjoying! I think here and there I've mentioned bits and pieces of some character's pre-apocalypse lives, but never all at once. Here's a comprehensive list of everybody's prior occupations, with some supplementary info for the characters that I've thought about the most.

Etho worked on an industrial farm. He was mainly tasked with planting and harvesting vegetables, and other miscellaneous labor tasks. When he wasn't working, he spent much of his time with Cleo and Bdubs. He's notorious for leaving his flip phone on the kitchen counter in his apartment when he goes out for the day, so it can be a bit difficult to get a hold of him. In general, he's pretty content with his life, and enjoys the routine his job offers.

Joel sort of just goes through the motions. He works a number of minimum wage jobs during his adult years, and doesn't really do much else. It isn't until the apocalypse, when he starts to meet new people and he realizes being lonely sucked. If you ask him, though, he's never felt lonely in his entire life-that would just be silly.

Grian spends his late childhood learning how to cook in a local restaurant. The owner and staff look after him best they can, but despite their hospitality, he resolves one day to grab as much cash as possible and head to a seaside town to start his early adult life. There he finds a small funeral home, and lands an apprenticeship only because they could really use the help and the owner themselves isn’t particularly concerned if they have to cut corners. It isn’t long before his inexperience starts to cause problems, and he takes off yet again when it comes to light the name he had been going by was stolen from an obituary a few cities over. He continues as he was, from place to place and name to name. It’s become somewhat routine for him to cheat every person he comes into contact with, in some way shape or form.

Scar, as we discussed in this post, has an extensive criminal history. Him and Grian somewhat deserve each other in that regard.

Cleo does a lot of crafting in their free time. I don't think I ever decided what she does for work, but on the side she does jewelry making, pottery, crotchet and a bit of sewing. She often sells some of what she makes, or gifts it to friends.

Bdubs does a trades program and is just starting out doing construction work. He takes up drawing as a hobby, mainly life drawing. His two best friends are his whole entire world, baby! He somewhat struggles with his independence, and usually wants to spend his time with Etho and Cleo.

Martyn is a hypnotherapist who specializes in past and future life progressions/regressions. He also claims to be a surgeon, but it's unclear what kind or when exactly he got a PhD.

Bigb was a racecar driver. Later in his career, he switched from cars to offroad motorcycle racing. He fell in love with modifying bikes and became a really knowledgeable mechanic.

Tango was a paramedic. Not much time for anything, but when he can he usually would meet up with some of his buddies to play board games.

Ren worked at the saw mill where Etho's friends are set up. At the time, he was living in a cabin in the woods not far from his work. He was somewhat of a hermit, and he has all sorts of woodsy knowledge and equipment at the ready.

Impulse has a bachelors of engineering and worked as an electrician for a few years. Loved his job, loved having to take out all his piercings most days a lot less. He's always been very close with his brother, Skizz, and they meet up often.

Skizz worked a 9-5 office job, and genuinely could not be any happier about it. He's the type of person to make extra time to exercise, or wake up early just to have some quiet time.

Pearl was an art student on exchange from Australia. She has a passion for installation pieces and painting. Some of her work is a bit strange.

Mumbo was a programmer. What did he program? I don't know. I'm sorry Mumbo fans. If it's any consolation he is so disoriented and so scared and so stressed.

Jimmy lived on a small farm with his family. It was all he knew growing up, and it was all he really knew going into adulthood.

Lizzie had a part time job at an aquarium in her town. She gave tours and sometimes did workshops with the kids where she did aquatic themed arts and crafts.

Scott.... I have a hard time imagining what he was up to before everything happened. Who can say for sure what he did in his spare time? (<- the guy who is writing the AU and can't think of an answer)

Hopefully this is helpful! Sorry some of it is more sparse than other parts. Take care, thank you for reading ^_^

[lulu2992]

And I forgot one question I've read somewhere that supposedly john was a rapist. But I don't think that for a bit. They say because he wanted to cut faiths sin out of her because he had Urges so what your take on that?

I’m “glad” (so to speak) you asked because this has been bothering me for a while.

I’m not a fan of the Seeds’ characterization in Collapse, but I don’t think the DLC ever implied there was anything sexual to his infamous “urges” and I genuinely don’t understand how that could be the conclusion some people drew.

When, in Collapse, they talk about the woman you mentioned in your previous ask, John says she ���gave [him] everything”, including her body, but that she then made him “so angry” for reasons he doesn’t seem to understand. The phrasing implies that they had sex, yes, but also that she consented to it. She “gave” him her body; he didn’t take it by force. Yet, I’ve seen comments from players that affirmed the contrary and that this was the crime John was afraid he would get in legal trouble for...

In the same conversation, Joseph, who I think is written as more manipulative in the DLC, tells John it was God who “gave [him] a gift” and “put [these urges] there” so he now has to use them “for His glory”. Now, if there were anything sexual about them, considering Lust is a sin and that we were told in Far Cry 5 fornication isn’t allowed in the cult, it makes no sense to me for the Father to call that a “gift” and to ask him to put it at the service of the Project.

Sadly, that unknown woman isn’t the only presumed victim people saw in Collapse. It’s thankfully been modified now (at least for the moment), but for a while, on the Wiki, you could read this on John’s page:

Joseph's mind experienced a vision of what would happen if John survives the nuclear apocalypse and lives with him, where John's mental health worsen with insane uncontrollable urges, strongly implying to be the urge to rape Faith, which he blames God for.

When you take a deep dive into the lore, you come to realize the Far Cry Wiki is filled with mistakes and wild guesses and that it’s never a good idea to fully trust it… but not everyone is aware of this. It was very, very upsetting to see this kind of gross misinformation on a page that’s supposed to be objective and that most readers—understandably—believe can be taken at face value.

John’s thing is and has always been, even in the DLC, purification through pain and cutting people’s skin to remove their sins. It was never hinted anywhere that there was supposed to be anything sexual about that or what he does for the cult in general.

In that vision Joseph experiences in Collapse, John has a knife in his hand and says he can hear Faith “sinning”, so he has to “cut it off of her” because he “[needs] to cut something up”. Again, I don’t get how it’s even possible to see this, knowing how John canonically makes people Atone, and go, “Ah yes, sex!”

But even in Far Cry 5, there are players who keep saying it was strongly implied (or even certain) that he assaulted Joey Hudson when... no, it never was. She doesn’t say anything about that, Sharky only talks about “how John cuts people up and knows all these pressure points and can make you feel pain beyond anything you ever imagined”, and other NPCs mention torture and how terrifyingly good he is at making you talk. Context matters, and John being a man keeping a woman hostage doesn’t automatically mean that happened.

The thing is, I suppose, that many people, whether they love or hate John, do what Adelaide does and sexualize him. That’s not an issue in itself, and it’s even possible the devs made him alluring on purpose or thought he was sexy too (hence Addie’s comments) but, if you’re not careful, I think you can quickly end up confusing your perception of a character with reality and imputing intentions to them.

It’s not easy to distinguish between what you see and what is shown to you, and nobody can have a 100% objective analysis, but I think people (notably those who feel like contributing to Wikis) should be careful not to draw hasty conclusions, especially when it comes to such a serious and sensitive subject.

So my take is the same as yours: John is not a rapist. Maybe he could have been one, we don’t know, but there is no evidence to support this claim and I really wish people would stop presenting it as fact.

[copperbadge]

Supposedly, people with Anphantasia don't get scared reading scary stories, or at least not much. Is that true with you if you ever read Horror?

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I suppose it is. To an extent, anyway.

Follows a discussion of my relationship to horror prose and media; if you don't know what aphantasia is, as many people coming to this tumblr don't, I have a tag for it here that may help -- it's basically the lack of a "mind's eye", a visual imagination, so I hear/read things and don't see an image of them in my mind. If you are scoffing right now that nobody actually has a mind's eye, congratulations, you may also have aphantasia. The articles linked in the tag will be useful to you.

I have definitely been scared by prose before but it's very rare, and not much since I was a child, when the stories I found scary were preying on fears I already had. I loved the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and I think it's not unusual that I found the illustrations more frightening than the prose, but the only story that ever scared me was the one about the vampire who kept trying to grab a kid through a window -- because I had a window over my bed in my childhood bedroom and I was terrified I'd look up to see someone looking down at me through it. Likewise, as an adult, the only content in horror I find scary is what I think of as "mind horror" -- the loss of faculty or the loss of awareness of faculty (think the end scene of the novel Hannibal with the brain). Which is one of my biggest fears.

I don't read much horror because generally I get bored, which has in the past made me feel faintly appalled at myself, but which now makes more sense. Certainly I have no interest in slasher-style gore in prose, because I find it uninteresting and it goes on a really long time, while I don't watch it in movies/TV because the visual is upsetting -- so if I was getting the visual from the prose I might react more emotionally. I am a fan of Stephen King but mostly his early work where he was shorter on suspense, and I was reading it because I liked the ideas and the characters. Carrie is super interesting because of the personalities involved, not because of the violence or the horror aspects. But I've never seen a movie adaptation and I can imagine I would be deeply unsettled if not distraught by certain scenes if depicted visually. Although I didn't find the Hannibal TV series super upsetting (I mostly was put off by how bad I imagined Will smelled) so perhaps body horror just doesn't do it for me.

This may also explain my hard-no on zombie media, because I'm not scared at all of zombies, I just find them boring and gross, and that leaves the post-apocalyptic humans. My hard-no on post-apocalypse anything is an aversion to imagining the end of my world, though, which isn't visual, it's conceptual, and not scary, just upsetting.

Like, people kept suggesting Zombies Run! to me when I was taking up running and -- well, one, I needed the music to keep my pace, I didn't want it interrupted. But two, I didn't see why a bunch of random groaning noises would make me run faster. If you could see zombies chasing you in your head, yeah, that'd probably be more motivating.

It kind of explains too why I haven't written much horror. I used to be very curious about how people worked out what's "scary" in horror prose and I guess part of the curiosity came from not experiencing it myself. It's tough to know how to write a scary story when stories don't scare you.

To be clear, I definitely experience fear. Reading Stephen King's "It" didn't really scare me, but there were scary moments in the film adaptations. I startle at jumpscares. There's plenty of stuff in real life that I'm scared of. And even podcasts -- I don't get mental images during podcasts like apparently most people do, but Magnus Archives got me with the "digging into your pre-existing fears" thing once or twice, and while I didn't finish The Left Right Game (I just got bored) the hitchhiker scene definitely got me. But I think, unless it's playing on something conceptual that already existed, yeah, I don't find prose particularly frightening.

Huh. This feels like the kind of thing that could have a significant impact on my creative output if I could crowbar my way into it. Knowing that I as an aphantic don't need descriptions that other people do has already, I think, impacted my editing process, but this feels like it maybe would somehow have an effect on the whole thing -- the fact that I don't experience emotions when reading in the same way other people do because I don't get the visuals is something to meditate on.

How the fuck did I ever even become a writer. Like what's up with that.

(Ironically it was X-Files fanfic. X-Files, a show that very much did scare me, for which I wrote and read a lot of fanfic, none of which did...yikes. Well, that's something to meditate on for the weekend.)

[2aceofspades]

I wasn't sure to make an ask or anything

Because like I'm super nervous to write to artists I really like and adore and appreciate their work

Take it as a complement ofc.

I was wondering... Do you think about Raph giving the rides on his arms for his brothers? Or even arm? Depends on who's riding on him?

I can't stop just thinking about how everyone would love to just sit on his arms, laying their arms and head on his head and just chilling while Raph is taking a break with one of them.

If somehow you'll see this I'll say it again I really like your work and the recent sticker mania was so wholesome if I wasn't too scared to write about stickers on turtles I would probably send something

But anyways take care of yourself! Remember to drink water and take a proper rest

I actually have a couple drawings of Raph and Leo doing something like this..

Gah these are old hehe..

So, yes, I do think Raph would do that for his brothers. And I think they'd love it every time. I also see this general idea on tumblr, that the younger bros just climb onto Raph, which is very very sweet.

In my own au, Raph and Leo co-lead the start of the apocalypse, so they spend the most time with each other at first. I don't think Leo would just randomly climb onto Raph or even ask to do that very often, but he would probably seek some kind of unspoken comfort from him from time to time...I think they both would. I have a few sketches of that..

I'm a fool for them ❤️💙 which is why I draw them interacting the most often..

How I draw them interacting is very much inspired by my older bro and me; the protective older sibling and the somewhat chaotic middle child. I'm not a touchy person though, but we hang out quite a lot and we're very close.

Also thank you so much!! Gah you're too sweet ohmigosh 🥹🥹 I really appreciate all the love 🤗✨!!

[purplecatghostposts]

i'm asking a few people, do you have any tmnt fanfic recs for short stories? like 5000 words or less? i love to read turtle fics but my attention span is pretty low. thank you so much if you do and even if you don't!

I absolutely have some, yeah!! Wasn’t sure what iteration you wanted so I went for a mix of ROTTMNT and TMNT2012, but if you want anything from the 2007 movie, 2003 show, or the Bayverse movies, just ask and I can grab those as well!

The Disappearance of Donatello’s Eyebrow By Monobrobe- ROTTMNT, just under 900 words! A short, silly story of the brothers being brothers! Donnie losing his mind is very funny-

You And The End Of The World By Catatonicatnap- ROTTMNT Movie, this one has a couple character studies, all under 2k! Written in second person and very well done!

And I Appreciate How You Raised Me By Moogsthewriter- TMNT 2012, Mikey wants to give Leo a card for Mother’s Day and gets a little help in doing it! Veryyyy sweet! 1.2k words!

December 13th: There Is A Place For You Here By Angelmichelangelo- TMNT 2012, Splinter learns to care for four baby turtles! So so SO sweet, I love them a lot!! Just over 2k words!

Swept Away By Chaos_Breeds- ROTTMNT, April and Donnie get into a bad spot when the sewer floods but it pays for your best friend to be an aquatic turtle! Excellent Hurt/Comfort and a great look into their friendship!! Just under 2k words!

An Act Of Yokai Kindness By BiographyDivider- ROTTMNT, Splinter takes the Turtle Tots to the Library! Splinter’s struggle in parenting four kids alone and the kindness of the librarian is so <3333!!! Love this fic! 2.8k words!

Recording (A Reminder Of What We Almost Lost) By Starlight_Artemis- ROTTMNT Movie, Donnie hears a recording of what went down in the Prison Dimension. Short and sweet Hurt/Comfort!! Leo gets a hug <3 900 words!

Family We Choose By Taizi- TMNT 2012, Casey and Mikey get into a tight spot but they got family so they’re gonna be okay. Loveeee the characterization in this one, plus some good ol’ Casey & Mikey friendship!! 2.5k words!

Sometimes I Can Still Hear His Voice By Catatonicatnap- ROTTMNT Movie, Casey, April, and Splinter call the turtles but haven’t realized Leo is okay yet. Honestly one of my favorite ROTTMNT fics in general, it’s canon in my heart <3 2.3k words!

Calling An Uber After The Apocalypse By MagicalSpaceDragon- ROTTMNT Movie, the boys need a ride back home so they call an Uber. Both silly and sweet <3 600 words!

So If Chocolate Is Bad For Dogs Does That Mean It’s Bad For The Mad Dogs (And Other Questions About What Turtles Can Eat) By Catatonicatnap- ROTTMNT, April brings some chocolate for the boys to enjoy only for all of them to stop and think about whether or not they can eat it. Absolutely FANTASTIC dynamics and a great fic! 2.8k words!

Let You Down By Windify- TMNT 2012, Leo tells his brothers what he saw while on the Fear Spores. Delightful Hurt/Comfort and heals my heart <3 2k words!

Anddd that’s what I got for now! There’s probably some others but these are the ones I remember enjoying the most! Hope you find some you like, happy reading!!

[bunni-v1]

I have a ton of crazy twst aus that I'm never ever gonna capitalize on, so I'm just gonna throw out the one that's invaded my daydreams the most recently.

So it's like zombie apocalypse au, but instead of zombies, it's blot. So they don't really have "phantoms" but the blot acts like a brain-eating parasite. Like the one you see in slugs that slowly eat away at them until they take over their bodies. So blot turns them into lifeless creatures, but they have magical abilities that make them more of a threat. The way it spreads is by eating at magic, so using magic against it is pretty much useless and can get the user infected too.

Think... like the flowers in the recent masquerade event, except instead of destroying magic and rendering the sorcerer useless it uses them to get stronger and spread faster.

So it starts with Riddle and inevitably spreads around until there's only a handful of people left who are desperately looking for a cure.

I personally think the survivors would be those who are super resourceful rather than extremely magically talented. Like Ruggie, Epel, Rook, Azul, and Jade (maybe). There would be a few exceptions like Kalim and Idia, and I think that Lilia and Silver have a decent chance of surviving. I wouldn't really say Malleus could since he's pretty reliant on the fact that he's magically strong. Ofc MC survives because they don't have magical capabilities, but they'd probably lose grim which is pretty devastating tbh.

Ruggie and Epel are both able to use their environment to their advantage really well, they know how to make meals out of very little and can survive in harsher environments easily. They're obvious contenders I feel, so they'd both be likely to survive in a more apocalyptic setting.

Rook I also feel is obvious. He's a hunter, and while he does use a lot of magic, he likely can survive without using it. He's good with a bow and arrow, incredibly strong, and way smarter than he lets on. The only way he might die is by sacrificing himself for Vil or someone else, but I don't think Vil would let him do that anyway lol.

Azul and Jade I'm on the fence about. Azul is really resourceful, but he's not exactly athletic or anything. He'd be a vital member of the group for understanding how to bargain and he has loads of knowledge, but other than that he's not too useful in any way. He's just good at conning people into keeping him alive. Jade I feel has a higher chance of surviving than Floyd, but he'd likely only survive if he was able to get away from Azul and Floyd at the start of the spread. He's great to have because he is athletic and can also survive in harsh environments, but he's also Jade so he doesn't deserve to live.

Kalim and Idia are a case of surviving out of sacrifice. I'm sure you could figure that out, but Jamil absolutely would sacrifice himself for Kalim. I'm sorry if you disagree, but it is ingrained in Jamil to protect Kalim and he is fully ready to die for him if he has to. Ortho would sacrifice for Idia, and Idia would only live on because Ortho told him to. Kalim wouldn't be all that resourceful, but he'd be good for group morale and keeping everything happy and healthy. Idia would be amazing if you could get him to any building with any electronics. He can find a way to get the power up and running, and once he has power he has the ability to have eyes everywhere if he so pleases. Really good for looking out for danger too.

Lilia and Silver are probably on a case-by-case basis and depend on how I would write everything. Lilia is a war general so he's been in some pretty tough places. He absolutely could survive an apocalypse, but the death of Sebek and Malleus might just be too much for him to stand. He only recently learned to love because of them, how could he go on without them. Silver would keep living out of sheer willpower. He could lose everything around him, be absolutely devastated, and keep a strong face for his lost family and friends.

There are a couple others that could be swapped in or out, and I'm sure everyone else has their own opinions, but that's kinda my take on the whole au lol.

Thank you for babbling, I'm going back into the void <3

[lenaellsi]

i like the way aziraphale deals with the cognitive dissonance of ‘heaven/god is good, but they want the apocalypse and allow child murder and hate everything i love’ not by going It Means They’re Bad but by going I’m Bad…. and that is so trauma of him

It really is just like. The trauma of the fall huh

It stuck out to me that when the Metatron showed up and the archangels were told to go back to Heaven, the only thing we got from Uriel (arguably the most level-headed, no-nonsense archangel of the bunch) was a very tentative, "Have we done anything wrong?" EVERY angel, all the way up to the top, is terrified of going against orders, of Being Bad, of Doing Things Wrong. Losing half of your fellow angels to the rebellion (especially when presumably at least some of the fallen were angels like Crowley--generally harmless but with concerns about the the Great Plan) will do that, I think. And the archangels in particular know that not even God's favorite angels are safe.

(Gabriel didn't seem scared, but I imagine knowing you have a soft place to land with the Grand Duke of Hell if the worst happens helps with that. And he never struck me as a True Believer, really. Just there for the glory and celestial paycheck.)

Aziraphale's compassion and his familiarity with humans (plus, honestly, regular exposure to Crowley and all of his questions) means that he KNOWS that Heaven can be cruel. But like you said--Heaven Is Good. If he goes too far working against Heaven, he is Bad, and that means he'll fall. And while I don't think Aziraphale truly grasps how bad the fall was--I don't think he would have asked Crowley back to Heaven if he understood how badly they hurt him--the idea of losing his connection to God terrifies him, as does Hell.

Plus, as I've mentioned, Aziraphale is dealing with really, really low self-esteem from millennia of being belittled and ignored. Being an angel--being Good--is something he can cling to as something that gives him inherent worth. Besides, if he's not Good, then he'll be Bad, and that means hurting people, and Aziraphale can't fathom that. So he thinks himself in clever circles and rules lawyers the Great Plan into the Ineffable Plan and says see? It's not Heaven who's wrong! It's a few bad apple angels! I can fix it, and then we can all stop being so afraid!

(The refutation to all of this, of course, has been having lunch with him for thousands of years. But he can't think too much about Crowley. Because Crowley can't be Good, because he isn't of Heaven, but he's not Bad, because Aziraphale knows and loves him, but if he was never Bad, then surely his fall was--surely God made a mis--

You can see why he doesn't like to think about it.)

Anyway. Aziraphale beloved. You're almost there babe act 3 let's GO