#I don't think I've seen these shades being used together at least not often

[canisalbus]

He’s so fun to draw!

.

[genericpuff]

So I watched ChattyMia's Lore Olympus video which was great and everyone should watch it. It seems most people who do series reviews of the Lore Olympus don't like the comic for obvious reasons. Then I was reminded by the end that the comic is expecting a TV series which is in development hell. It made me think that Rachel might be better off not having a Lore Olympus TV show. Most praise for the series died awhile ago as the story became an utter mess. If it did get a TV show, people will see the early red flags like the age gap, the treatment of Minthe, trying to excuse cheating, Hades horrible behavior to workers, nymphs being discriminated with no pushback, etc. If some of them read the comic for spoilers they would later see the other big red flags of the series. Excusing slave labor, Persephone threatening the lower class, Hera getting with Echo a 'trash nypmh' as she once called Minthe, Apollo gets community service, the continued mistreatment of Demeter etc. Which I feel will cause everyone to go 'wtf is this series? 50 Shades of Grey mixed with Keeping Up with the Kardashians?'. Then you have to wonder if some of them will do a deep dive and find the stuff about Rachel's tie to Lolita. It would be especially bad if a bigger content creator talked about it. And we already know Rachel doesn't handle criticism the best (i.e. the struggle street tweet, the Minthe cosplay situation or even the merch). So I could only imagine how much worse it would be for her if Lore Olympus got a TV show and more eyes got drawn to it and her. It would no longer be just confided to the web comics fanbase but the much larger TV one. Unless Rachel seriously considered rewriting the TV script (or rekindling it lol) I don't see how a TV adaptation of her show would be good press for her.

Yess I've seen that video, it's great! She did a great job summarizing a lot of the biggest core issues with LO's story and art without getting too lost in the sauce (though god knows the rabbithole of LO's issues runs INCREDIBLY deep in an equally fascinating and "oh god what the fuck did I just read' kind of way), her video editing was very entertaining and her Persephone cosplay was a great touch 😎

That said, regarding the thought of "most people who do series reviews of LO don't like the comic", there is an amount of bias we have to acknowledge there - there's often a lot more to say in the negative rather than the positive. By extension, people who simply enjoy LO and don't participate much in the online discussion surrounding it or the discourse concerning it are less likely to make 2 hour videos analyzing it. So while the popular opinion of LO has shifted more towards a negative point of view, that doesn't mean that fans of the comic don't exist - it's just that most of those fans are blissfully enjoying the comic and can only sum it up as "it's very pretty and the plot is great", whereas many people who didn't enjoy it are more likely to voice their opinions as to why in far more explicit detail (though on the flipside of that, it also goes to show that there's a lot more to analyze in LO's flaws than its strengths - it's ironic that the fans often don't have much to say beyond "it's cute" or "I relate to Persephone" and anything further than that is relegated to pure headcanon pieced together by assumption and best guesses to make up for Rachel's lack of writing).

All that aside though, regarding the TV adaption, at this point it's less a matter of reception and more a matter of relevancy. The perfect time to release or at least show us proof of the LO TV show was years ago, when the comic was at its peak between 2020-2021. The second best time was at last year's NYCC when Rachel was a headlining guest. The fact they still had nothing to show for it at this year's NYCC, with Rachel nowhere to be seen and instead focusing more on the Freaking Romance adaption with Snailords filling the role as their featured guest (an equally if not even more problematic creator), is astounding, but unsurprising.

To me, LO feels like a real life case of "Tortoise and the Hare". Back at the start of it all, in 2017-2018, it was doing what no other comic on the platform was doing, presenting us a retelling of the Hades and Persephone story - which was very popular on Tumblr at the time - through a modern setting and with art that was incredibly unique for the platform. That, paired with WT's aggressive marketing, propelled it far ahead every other comic on the platform, creating a gap so massive that even the comics in second place on the trending tabs still weren't even close to LO's lead in terms of stats and money.

But then it got complacent. Quality of the comic's writing and art dropped, it was becoming increasingly obvious that LO had become no more than a marketing grift akin to the likes of Harry Potter - easily turned into books, t-shirts, socks, coloring books, figures, etc. - and that gave way to an increase of criticism towards it, criticism that had always somewhat existed even as far back as its days on Tumblr, but was now amplified by the existing ongoing proof that LO was never all it was cracked up to be.

Now, at best they shill $200+ figurine pre-orders, but the show is nowhere to be seen and, with the comic now finished and locked behind Daily Pass, its relevancy is dying out. "Rachel Smythe Presents" still has nothing to show for itself, Rachel's IG and Twitter seem to be purely for merch-pushing by the Inklore team, and Rachel has, at best, two new series that she suddenly announced but, in her words, don't even have anything written or planned for them yet beyond the taglines that were thrown together for her socials.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Greek myth retelling industry is in a renaissance. Hades is still a massively popular game, with its sequel now in early access; Epic: The Musical has been making waves on Spotify and TikTok far exceeding that of LO's in terms of audience reach, and even has more to show for itself in the way of official animations than LO ever has; and now Kaos has recently launched its first season after being in production since 2018 - yes, you read that right, it got commissioned around the exact same time LO became an Originals series which suggests the idea for it was already floating around and being pitched prior to LO - and, frankly, has beaten LO at its own game by achieving everything LO set out to do - weaving a Greek epic-style story in a modern setting, balancing romance with prophecies and world-ending stakes. It took a while, but Kaos made it past the finishing line, while LO has been dragging itself behind it, still making empty promises that a TV show is "still in the works" and "coming soon", with not a single thing to show for itself.

LO may have gotten a head start in being the "sleek, modern, sexy Greek myth retelling" by the virtue of being a weekly webtoon, but slow and steady wins the race - the productions that have taken their time cooking in the oven are now coming out as beautiful and delicious as we, the guests at the table, were told would be, while LO is simply the short-term gratification junk food that bombards us with gimmicks but sits like a rock in our stomachs and leaves us unfulfilled and wishing for a better meal.

Those better meals are here now and they were absolutely worth the wait.

[ice-phoenix-nerdcore]

You know what? It's fascinating how we all have those profound moments when we stumble upon fragments of our forgotten past selves. It's like unearthing buried treasures within our own minds. It reaffirms our identity in the present, reminding us that despite the changes we undergo, there's a core essence that remains unchanged. And let me tell you, my recent encounter with such a moment has left me in awe. The way it resonates with me, the way it speaks to the depths of my being, is nothing short of remarkable.

It's akin to that feeling you get when you wake up from a nap to realize you were tired all along, or when you start eating on an empty stomach, only then suddenly realizing you're hungry. It's like finding a sense of belonging after feeling lost and lonely. It's as if the fog of uncertainty dissipates, the clouds of pain part ways, and a glimmer of hope emerges, casting its warm rays upon us. It's a powerful force that binds us together, yet its profound nature somehow defies comprehension and leaves us in a state of anticlimax.

That example for me was a super old question I asked through my mom on quora which basically conveyed my incredulity at the concept of ‘no thing’ conveyed by Zen Buddhism specifically (as far as I remember at least, it was a Buddhist thing. Buddhists of Tumblr, tell me if I’m wrong) The sound of one hand clapping is not nothing, but the swish of the air, or the creaks in your body. I actually put it a different way, explaining the logical incoherence of ‘no thing’ by comparing it to the hypothetical edge of space, where even if nothing else was there, the edge of space exists, and therefore was a thing.

But you know, there's an old saying from the East that goes, "may you live an interesting life." Ironically, it's often seen as a curse rather than a blessing. Personally, I don't aspire to lead a life so dramatic that it could stir emotions in a movie theater.

That being said, I refuse to remain stagnant and silent. The concepts of Zen, mindfulness, and meditation have never quite resonated with me. I've always been more inclined towards analytical thinking, often to the point of being overly literal, according to some people's perspectives. My mind tends to wander into the realms of imagination and complex thoughts, replacing simplistic dichotomies with nuanced shades of gray.

And so, this recent revelation has sparked a cascade of thoughts within me. If there are aspects of my past self that have eluded my memory, what other hidden landscapes lie within me, waiting to be discovered? We all possess uncharted territories within our souls, waiting for exploration. I've predominantly directed my analytical gaze outward, but perhaps it's time to turn that introspective lens inward as well.

Not to overanalyze or unravel myself, but to gain a deeper understanding of who I truly am and why. What life experiences have shaped me into the person I am today? What do I hold dear above all else? What ignites the fire within me and what weighs me down?.

And isn't that the beauty of it all? The realization that every twist and turn, every victory and setback, weaves together the intricate tapestry of our existence. It's like a puzzle slowly coming together, gradually revealing a clearer picture of our true selves and the purpose behind our journey.

Take a moment to reflect on your own path. When did you experience the profound comfort of recognizing the continuity of your own self?

Furthermore, if any professionals in fields such as psychology, developmental neurology, or related disciplines have insights to share on this type of experience, I would be immensely interested in hearing their perspectives.

[starryyyjoon]

I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot

word count: 8.2k

pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader

summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.

disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!

Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.

There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.

I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.

"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.

"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.

"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.

"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.

The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.

All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.

The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.

His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.

"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.

"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.

"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?

"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.

"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.

"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.

"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.

"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.

"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.

"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.

"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.

"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.

"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.

"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.

"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.

For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.

"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.

"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.

"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.

It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.

"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.

"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.

"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.

"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.

"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.

"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.

"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.

"You look casual", he teased me.

"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.

"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.

"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.

"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.

"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.

The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.

"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.

"Bye", I left.

________________

"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.

"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.

"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.

He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.

"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.

"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.

"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.

Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.

"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.

"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.

"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.

Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.

Ah.

I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.

This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.

I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.

"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.

"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.

"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.

"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.

"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.

"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.

"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.

"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.

"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.

"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.

After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.

"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.

"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.

"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.

"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.

"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.

"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.

"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.

"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.

"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.

"No", I said back in a split second.

"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.

"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.

"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.

"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.

"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.

"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.

"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.

It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.

I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.

"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.

"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.

"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.

"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.

"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.

"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.

"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.

"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.

"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.

"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.

"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.

What?

"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.

"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.

"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.

"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.

I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.

I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.

I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.

He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.

He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.

He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.

I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.

I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.

I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.

As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.

He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.

A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.

"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.

"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.

"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.

"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.

Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.

"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.

"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.

After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.

The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.

I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?

________________

I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.

I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.

I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"

In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".

"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.

The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?

Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.

"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.

"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.

"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.

"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.

"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.

"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.

My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.

I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.

I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.

"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.

"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.

"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.

Δ

Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.

Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.

That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.

"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.

"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.

"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.

"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.

"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.

"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.

"I don't care", he eyed me.

"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.

"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.

I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.

"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.

Deal with it.

As if.

Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.

I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.

He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.

I like you. I like you a lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.

"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.

"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.

"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.

"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.

"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.

"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.

"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.

I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.

"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.

It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.

I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.

It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.

I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.

He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.

It was good.

"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.

"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.

"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.

"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.

"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.

"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.

After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".

"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.

"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.

"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.

"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.

"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.

"Like what?", I asked him.

"Like you can love me", he said.

"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.

"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.

"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.

"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.

________________

My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.

It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.

He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.

He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.

"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.

"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.

"Right now?", he asked surprised.

"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.

"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.

"I, you", I held his hand again.

[acciowests]

From Lorcan With Love

WORD COUNT: 1707

SUMMARY: A "From Lukov With Love" inspired ice hockey x figure skating AU featuring Lorcan Salvaterre and Elide Lochan from "Throne Of Glass"

Lorcan and Rowan arrive early for training and walk in on a figure skater finishing her session. It isn't until she falls that Lorcan rushes forward, helping up the woman he learns is called Elide and immediately begins to fall for her charms.

"You know, you didn't have to wake me up this early, right?" Rowan drawled as they pulled into the Orynth Rink parking lot. With their first game of the season taking place next Friday, Lorcan Salvaterre - Goalkeeper of the Terrasen High Hawks - had booked out the rink for three whole hours of practice. Along with being Lorcan's best friend, Rowan Whitethorn was also the captain of the Hawks, their school's ice hockey team. Despite having napped for most of their journey, Rowan's brows were furrowed in a tired frown, his lips in a thin line as he stretched in his seat.

The capital's Ice Rink mainly housed ice skating: including singles figure skating, pairs ice dancing, as well as the annual sectional competitions and sometimes the national one also. None of that meant much to Lorcan, he just knew the Orynth Rink also showcased professional Hockey Teams, such as the Orynth Stags; a team he had dreamt of being a part of since he started his ice hockey journey at seven-years-old.

"Stop complaining, old man," Lorcan chuckled, smirking at the silver-haired boy. "Get the bags from the trunk will you?"

Sticking up his middle finger noncommittally, letting it fall into his lap, Rowan climbed out of the car, rounding toward the back of the vehicle. Lorcan switched off the engine and stepped outside. Grabbing the gym bag full of their gear, Rowan hauled it over his shoulder as Lorcan locked the car, the two boys walking through the parking lot and toward the rink.

The changing room was empty, as Lorcan expected, and the two boys changed in comfortable silence. They pulled on their team jerseys: deep green with silver writing that displayed their name and number. Paired with sweatpants and their elbow and shoulder pads, as well as their shin guards, the boys shoved their bags into the lockers, along with their phones, and headed out to the rink. Walking off the ice with skates on had always felt weird, even with the skate guards that protected the blade. Heading down into the stadium, Lorcan's eyes locked onto the lone figure skater within the rink. The clock overhead told him she still had fifteen minutes left, which meant he and Rowan had fifteen minutes of waiting.

Slumping down into a seat, Lorcan set his elbows against his knees, leaning forward and watching the petite, raven-haired girl dance across the ice. Beside him, Rowan drummed his feet lazily, Lorcan ignoring him completely as he listened to the sound of her blade across the ice.

When, and if, he saw figure skaters, they were always wearing glittery costumes in shades of reds, purples and blues. And though he was sure most skaters did dress down for practice, the girl before him looked like she dressed in the dark. Which, if she had booked a three hour practise, she just might have. Ignoring the grey leggings and burgundy sweater showing a Perranth Skating Club logo, she skated as though she was in front of thousands. Each turn was sharp but smooth, each of her jumps or leaps landing perfectly - to Lorcan's untrained eye, anyway.

"I was thinking we could do some new drills. As captain, I reckon we have a good shot this season. I think we could rank high, come out on top," Rowan started, interrupting Lorcan's gaze.

"Right, yeah. If the others even get here," Lorcan sighed, not that he minded. He was much enjoying his time watching the beautiful skater.

"Chill out, Lor. There's still five minutes, they'll be here," Rowan insisted, nudging Lorcan's shoulder.

Shrugging, Lorcan turned to face the rink, just in time to watch the skater turn back into a jump. She took off from the back outside edge of her skate, using her toe pick to help her spin twice, and just as her foot hit the ice, her ankle gave way. An echoing thud rang out around them as she hit the floor, her thigh and butt slamming down onto the ice as she fell.

Before he even realised what he was doing, Lorcan stood, rushing down the rows of seats and towards the rink. Removing his skate guards and tossing them to the side, Lorcan stepped onto the ice, skating over to the girl who was now curled up, a hand against her thigh and stretching a leg out before her.

"Hey, you okay?" Lorcan called, coming to a stop beside her and offering her a hand, "That looked like a pretty nasty fall."

The girl chuckled, rubbing her thigh once more and taking his hand. Her palm was surprisingly soft, cold enough to send a shiver through him as she gripped tightly. Hoisting her up, Lorcan didn't miss the wince that slipped between her lips. Before he could say anything, she shook her head, "It's fine, it's just my ankle."

As she stood before him, Lorcan tried not to smirk at the immense height difference between them. At least a whole foot. Instead, he just nodded, "Well, that jump looked pretty hard. From what I've seen you're a pretty good skater. You shouldn't let one fall get you down."

"Not good enough. I should be able to do that jump in my sleep. There's no way I'm going to win sectionals like this," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. Her left hand, Lorcan realised, was still in his. She hadn't put her ankle back down onto the ice, instead, she rested it against her other foot, off the ground where there was no pressure on it.

"What happened? Is it just a strain?" Lorcan asked, hoping he wasn't being too curious. His eyes were drawn to the flush of her cheeks, bright red against the pale shading of the rest of her face. With her mop of black hair against glowing skin, she looked ethereal.

"I wish," she scoffed, "No, I broke it a few years ago and it never healed properly. I lost my axel completely, had to relearn my entire program and make all the moves easier. I already lost regionals, I can't afford to lose sectionals too," she explained, her chest rising and falling.

"Well, how long until sectionals? Maybe with some assistance, and physiotherapy on your ankle, you might be able to win?" Lorcan suggested, watching the girl's eyebrows slowly furrow as she looked up at him. They were thick and black, arching over her face and defining it fiercely.

"You don't know when sectionals are?" she asked, as though it was the most obvious question in the world.

Lorcan chuckled, shaking his head, "Oh, no. I'm not a skater. I play ice hockey."

The girl blinked, her eyes widening, "Oh... Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You probably have no idea what I was just talking about, do you?"

Lorcan couldn't help but laugh, loving the way the girl's lips curled into a smile as he did so, "No, but it's fine. I can tell you're very dedicated. I'm Lorcan, by the way, Terrasen High Hawks."

"Terrasen High? Wait, Lorcan as in Lorcan Salvaterre?" she asked, brows raising. Lorcan knew he recognised her. He could have sworn she was in the year below him, he would remember her face anywhere.

"The one and only. You're a junior, right?" he replied, helping her skate back across the rink and toward the entrance. She reached for her skate guards as he remained on the ice. Slipping his hand to her elbow, he helped her balance as she stepped back onto the stone ground.

"Right. Elide Lochan, Perranth skating club," she smiled, sticking her hand out. Lorcan shook it happily, loving the warmth that radiated from her like electricity.

"Perranth is lucky to have you represent them," Lorcan smirked, biting down on his bottom lip. There was something about the girl before him, something that made him feel completely giddy inside. If his teammates saw him like this...

Elide rolled her eyes. Chocolate, Lorcan noticed, the perfect shade of swirly hazelnut. "Now you're just being kind!" she laughed, a melodic sound that he wished he could capture forever, "Thanks, by the way, for helping me up. I probably would have just laid there until my session was over."

Lorcan grinned, something he didn't do too often, "Well, you're lucky I was here. Couldn't have you catching a cold, can we?  I heard hypothermia is a killer."

Pressing her lips together, Elide shook her head slowly, "No, I suppose we can't."

With an obnoxious slam, the doors to the rink swung open. The remainder of his team poured out, dressed and ready for their training session. A blur of green and silver, plus the grey, black and navy blue of Adidas sweatpants. Gavriel was at the front, the oldest on the team, his golden hair tied back in a bun and a grin on his face as he reached Rowan.

Rowan stood, patting Gavriel's shoulder and moving down the rows of chairs. "Lorcan," he called, heading toward the equipment cupboard in the corner of the rink, "Help me get the stuff out!"

They always borrowed sticks and pucks from whatever rink they were training at. Lorcan only used his own stick for final games, an object of good luck. They would also have to drag the goals out, setting them up to actually have something to shoot at.

Offering Lorcan a smile, Elide stepped back, rocking on her good foot, "So, I guess I'll see you around then?"

If he had his phone to hand, he would have asked for her number right there and then. But, he didn't. As she turned to walk up the steps toward the changing rooms, Lorcan called, "We have a game next Friday, will you be there?"

Elide stopped, looking over her shoulder and smirking, "Depends, are you inviting me?"

Pushing down the chuckle that tickled his throat, Lorcan nodded, "I am, and maybe we could hang out afterwards... Just the two of us?"

"Sure, sounds fun. See you Friday, then," Elide confirmed, turning almost immediately and rushing up the stairs.

Lorcan watched until she completely disappeared from view. He could smell the cinnamon and elderberries scent that lingered in her wake. Elide Lochan. Friday couldn't come sooner.

* * *

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[triangularprismdude]

Mia's World Theory

Because I have other things to do but would rather over-analyze webcomics. Under the cut because long and Spoilers up to page 85.

One of the really interesting things about Mia's World, I've always thought, is that a majority of people come in knowing what the climax of the story is. I was first introduced to Mia's World through the Mind Electric Animatic, only finding the actual comic a few months later. As such, I, and pretty much everyone else I've seen, know that the comic is building up to World/Michael (likely under the influence of Lyer/John?) killing Mia, as both the Mind Electric animatic and Turn Off the Lights MAP deal with the direct fallout of that. But the thing that makes the comic so interesting is not only seeing what their world looks like and who the characters are, but also the buildup leading up to Mia's murder. One of the first hints that there seems to be something more going on is that, while for much of the comic it seems like Lyer/John might just be a figment of World/Michael's imagination or perhaps an entity that only he can see/interact with, we have at least two other instances of characters aside from World/Micheal noticing/seeing Lyer/John. The more minor of which is when King/Gillian comes to see World/Micheal at his apartment and is also able to hear when Lyer/John is singing in the shower.

The much more significant instances of this are the several occasions where Mia is able to see Lyer/John.

And, probably most concerning about this, is how concerned Mia is about this, and how afraid she is of Lyer, as well as how antagonistic Lyer seems to be towards Mia in return.

Including the fact that Mia seemed subconsciously aware of Lyer, before she was consciously aware of him, as shown in her concern over the number of drawings she has with Lyer in the background (seemingly drawn in without her being directly conscious of it, though I could be mistaken about that).

The thing that I think this all really builds up to is the fact that Mia's World is, quite literally Mia's World, in that it is a world that she controls or was/is responsible for creating to some degree. Part of a hint for this could be that she is the only character who is only known by her actual name, Mia. World and Enemie have had their actual names mentioned in the comic (also Lyer, but more on him later). King and 44, while they have had their names revealed out of comic, they have only been referred to by these nicknames in the comic proper

One interesting thing about Mia's World is the difference between the art style when the page is centered around Mia and her POV, and the art style when the page is centered around World/Michael and his point of view. With Mia, the art style is significantly more simplistic: the characters all have stick limbs with the occasional hand, there is little to no shading, undetailed or entirely absent backgrounds, and the pages are often only four panels, more reminiscent of a newspaper or otherwise serialized comedy/slice of life comic that rarely has much in the way of a serious or overarching plot. With World/Michael, the style is much more painterly and artistic, with more complex coloring and shading, as well as backgrounds with equal or even higher complexity, more realistic figures (in that they have actual limbs more often rather than just sticks), and usually six or so panels per page, more reminiscent of comics that tend to have longer overarching plots, rather than just one-off jokes. This partly serves to create this pretty strict dichotomy between "Mia's World" and "Michael's World" (this could also be part of the reason that World's name is, well, World: he is [currently] the other main character/POV character of this comic and is the character shown to have the most awareness of some of the strangeness of the world that they all live in currently).

The thing that I think this all really builds up to is the fact that Mia's World is, quite literally Mia's World, in that it is a world that she controls or was/is responsible for creating to some degree. Part of a hint for this could be that she is the only character who is only known by her actual name, Mia. World and Enemie have had their actual names mentioned in the comic (also Lyer, but more on him later). King has only had his name referred to out of comic and never in comic. And to my knowledge, 44/Maria has only ever been referred to as "big sister" by Mia, and not by 44 or Maria in comic. This partially seems to really emphasize that these characters are, well, characters. King and World and Enemie and 44 aren't real person names, but it's how they're known in this comic, it's their character.

And finally, that brings us to the most recent page.

World/Micheal falls out of the world. He takes a step and punches through the ground like (it looks to me) paper. Then we get a silhouette of a very human-looking version of him. A commenter on this page notes that, in the Turn Off the Lights MAP, there was a specific section where all the characters should appear as human.

To bring this all together, Lyer is a chaotic character, who manipulates and messes with and taunts World/Michael seemingly just for the fun of it. But I think Lyer also serves as a catalyst, of a sort, to get World/Michael to break out of Mia's world, ultimately (attempting to?) accomplish this by having World/Michael murder Mia, potentially breaking her hold over this world. I don't know what Lyer is or where he might have come from, or what his motivation might be, but it seems to me that his purpose in murdering Mia is to break her (godlike?) hold on this world, potentially freeing World/Michael, maybe also Lyer and the rest of the characters.

There are certainly other plot elements that may play into the mystery behind Mia's World that we don't have enough information to properly analyze yet, like World/Michael and King/Gillian's strained (but healing?) relationship, 44/Maria's intense dislike for World/Michael (potentially related to the previous point), King/Gillian and 44/Maria going through a rough patch in their relationship, Enemie/Ivan dealing with an abusive parent, etc. But I'm not going to theorize on how these could tie in now since we don't have much information on them yet.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

[itseivwhore]

Hey! Can you write some headcanons on how Ezio, Arno and Jacob would react if their partner has quarantined themselves because they have interacted with a confirmed Covid19 case? I'm in quarantine right now because of a confirmed case in my University. I've isolated myself in my room, I don't even let my parents near me, so I'd love to get some support! ♥️♥️

Heyo @sofiewithat (too bad this time I can't say:"Heyo anonimo" like I always do :( ) !Thank you a lot for requesting this,I actually wanted to write some headcanons a bit like these (most precisely,how the quarantine would be with them,stuff like this). I hope everything will turn out to be fine for you,but for now,just stay at home,easy peasy,be safe...because out there it's a (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ m e s s.

Let's start now,shall we?

~~~~~

|°Ezio°| :

"No hugs and kisses for the chef today?"

When you came home you didn't go into the kitchen,as you used to do,to greet Ezio with a warm,long hug and the usual passionate kisses.

Instead,you limited yourself at stopping at the treshold of the kitchen,leaning with a shoulder against the frame of the door,watching him cooking,standing there in silence.

He only needed some quick glances,thrown at you as he was busy preparing dinner,to understand and to notice that something happened,that something was wrong.But he kept on gently smiling at you nevertheless,silently and tacitly encouraging you in letting out what you needed to say.

But you were trying to think,to find a way to tell him the not really good news...knowing that,most likely,he would have reacted a little bit too dramatically.

"COSA?!" loudly shouting this as he sharply turned around,facing you.

Ezio nearly dropped the plate of pasta he had in his hands.

You knew very well how he could be so dramatic with everyone and about everything.But you could have said from how his soft and arm brown eyes,that became dim and dark with seriousness,his expression torn between a worried and a shocked one,that he was not being theatrical as his usual.

Not this time at least,and not for this reason.

You tried to explain him everything,trying with all of your best to not worry him even more than he already was.

And him,viceversa,didn't want to look too scared and preoccupied at your eyes.If anything -not counting that first moment when he loudly shouted- he started to be hopeful,telling you that everything would turn out to be fine.

He (and you too) had to think like this,in such times.

But the young Auditore didn't look happy and/or pleased when you told him your decision: at all. Staying away from each other would have meant...no hugs?No kisses?No gentle touches?No cuddles?

He was going to die.

"Amore...I'm dying here!" you once heard him shouting this from the living room while you were in your room.

But nevertheless,he respected your will.

Ezio needed to feel your presence around him in the house.

Who knows for how many times he instinctively stepped closer to you to wrap you in a hug when he saw you walking around the house,and you had to stretch your arms out,walking away from him.

Who knows for how many times you had to remind him to not step too close to you.

And you hate when you looked at him giving you these purely and utterly sad glances,making your heart ache.

You missed not being able to spend so much time with him as you both used to do,laying together on the couch,watching a film,and most of all,cooking lunch and dinner together.

One particular thing that just genuinely brought small tears to your eyes,was when you woke up in the middle of the night,and as you were walking towards the kitchen to get a glass of water,you saw Ezio laying on the couch,sleeping deeply,half covered by a blanket.

"It's not the same to sleep without you between my arms,tesoro"

Be sure that you would find a plate of pasta everyday for lunch.

"Trust me,pasta will kill every little nasty virus that there might be inside you" saying this as he was sitting on the couch,now his new bed,in the living room,making you laugh loudly.

~~~~~

|°Arno°| :

"Arno...?"

You knew you had to tell him that with caution.You knew you had to think billions of time before telling him...that.

The poor boy was there,leaning on the wall,eyes vailed by a thick vail of worry as he was staring at you,motionless.

"Tell me you are joking"

He tried to convince himself that what you were saying wasn't the truth.His head was a mess now,thoughts fogging his mind with endless questions: what if you caught it?And what if...

But you actually managed to calm Arno down,even if a bit.Saying that you were feeling well and that there was no need to be scared and preoccupied that much.

Arno agreeded,even if with a bitter grimace and with a melancholic gaze,with the idea about being distanced from each other: not being afraid,though,on admitting that it wouldn't have been the same.

These weeks passed away pretty quickly thanks to him and his thoughtfulness.He still managed to care and look after you even if you didn't let him close,showing you affection by little gestures,actions and phrases.

And that was amazing,to say at least.

"Do you need something?" asking this at least onehundred of times in a day,wanting to help with all of himself.

"Are you feeling okay,mon amour?" slightly opening the door of your shared bedroom,peeking and leaning only his head inside,gently smiling at you.

Finding a baquet of your favourite flowers in various vases around the house every day.

Smiling happily when,each morning for breakfast,you found a hot croissant in the table of the kitchen,knowing that Arno bought it for you before going to work.

Noticing that-when he left you alone at home because of his work- you often would see posts-it scattered all around the house for you to find,reading the sweet phrases he wrote for you with a grateful smile on your lips as you traced his graceful and long handwriting with your fingertip.

"Je t'aime tant xxx "

We all know that this Frenchman is a romantic:utterly and completely in love with you,and he would do anything to see you in a good mood...even if it would include trying to hide his own preoccupation to make you feel good.

~~~~~

|°Jacob°| :

"Nice one,love,nice one" he scoffed when you told him what happened,throwing himself on the couch as he was eating some snacks,giving you a confident and relaxed expression.

For a first moment he really thought that you were joking around,just teasing him:but when you showed him a serious face and a low voice -which he feared a lot- he understood that what you were saying was only the truth.

You would have bet that you would never have seen Jacob get paler than he already was.

"Bloody hell" indeed.

He was pretty...nonchalant about it.Cracking some jokes here and there,saying that you were perfectly healthy-his own words-and that there was nothing to worry about.

Jacob could have been very,very persuasive,and he actually managed in his intention:making you believe that he wasn't worried or stressed or anything like that.

But of all the things that this Brit was,he wasn't a good secret keeper,or a good liar,either way.

One afternoon,while he believed that you were resting in your room,you heard him talking softly to Evie,confessing her his worries and all of his preoccupations about what happened in such a low,almost scared voice,that made your heart melt.

Of course you had no doubt that Jacob cared about you with all of his heart and soul,but you couldn't help but smile and feeling grateful for having him at your side:not worsening the situation by adding his own fears with yours too,but actually making it all go away in his unique,special ways.

You didn't mention and/or told him that you heard his talk with his sister:you knew that it would have hurt,even if a little,his pride and ego.

A thing you actually adored about the young twin,was that he was able to make even the last laughable thing into a funny one. How he was able to do that?You didn't know,but you loved the male twin more for this particular shade of his personality.

Scaring the life out of you when he wore a plague doctor mask,pretending to be a doctor,his gestures so theatrical as he peeked his head in your shared room while wearing that scary mask.

"Visit hour for my favourite patient"

"Where did you get that?!"

"Ezio gave this to me"

Talking-shouting with each other from your bedroom,where you were most of the time,to the living room,where he was.

"TEA,LOVE?!"

"MAYBE LATER!"

You knew Jacob,reckless and relentless,breaking the rules you imposed for these weeks: sometimes getting way too close to you.

"Bloody corona virus can't stop me"

If he says so...

Jacob would do anything at his disposal,in his best ways,to brighten up your days and to cheer you up.

°*°TrAnSlaTiOnS!°*°

"Cosa?!" = what;

"Amore" = love;

"Tesoro" = darling.

~

"Mon amour" = my love;

"Je t'aime tant" = I love you a lot.

~~~~~

I hope you'll like these!I wrote them as soon as I could ;)

Addio.

[sylphid187]

Epilogue:Another One

Sunlight hits his face as it streams through his bedroom window. Kenma groans and tries to roll over from his current position on the bed, but finds that he has difficulty moving. He blinks his eyes open and then looks down, only to see a pair of arms draped around his waist, holding him tight. His thoughts begin to drift and he sighs fondly, remembering that he is no longer sleeping alone again, because after long weeks alone in a large house, Kuro is finally home. 

Kuro had to go on regular trips away for the JVA, that was just part of the job description. Of course, this means Kenma is usually alone at their, yes it's officially theirs now, home. Getting Apple Pie, Pie for short, has been helpful to ease the loneliness. The calico kitten has been nothing but a rumble of energy and adorable, always there to keep Kenma company. But it didn't erase the loneliness completely, and there was just no feeling that could compare to having Kuro around. 

But current events have allowed them more time together in the following months. With the V-League officially back in season, Kuro has been put in charge of attending those specific events. With most of the games being held in nearby stadiums, Kenma could actually spare some time to go watch them live with him. This was especially true when Shouyou was playing. The Jackals games were either watched live or in the comfort of their living room, at real time, while cuddled together. Kenma has never missed any of Shouyou's games. 

It's been around six months since their messy confession, give or take. Six months since they came out to the public as a couple, and the start of their rollercoaster of a relationship. They didn't have the perfect relationship, Kenma thinks. They still had misunderstandings, and sometimes they argued about the silliest things. But they never went to bed angry at one another, never slept without trying their best to settle things, in a way that won't leave either of them struggling to pick up the pieces of the fight the next day. Overall, Kenma was content and happy, and he hoped that Kuro was too. 

"Thinking about something?" Being stirred away from his thoughts, he feels Kuro mutter. The other's face buried on the top of his head, voice still groggy. 

"Hm. Nothing important." Kenma replies with another sigh. 

"Care to share then?" Kenma feels Kuro shift his position a bit, allowing the smaller male to turn around and having them face to face, before once again feeling Kuro's arms around his waist. "I'm a very good listener you know." 

"I was thinking of replacing you." Kenma states in a deadpan voice. 

Kuro gasps "Kenma! I'm offended! Only six months and you're tired of me already? Woe is me." Kuro tightens his hold and touches their noses together. "So tell me then, what do I have to do to regain your favor?" 

"You can get up and make breakfast." Kenma states. "And maybe I'll reconsider." 

Kuro immediately grins. "I knew my cooking was good for something. Here's an idea, you stay here and get some more shut eye. I'll make sure you have something to fill your empty stomach in a bit, yeah?" Kuroo starts to get up, slowly untangling himself between the mess of limbs the two of them are in. But Kenma immediately stops Kuroo and keeps him in place. "Kenma?" 

Kenma buries himself between the blanket and Kuro and snuggles closer. "Ten more minutes. Please." He just isn't ready to leave this warmth just yet. 

He feels Kuro place a kiss on the crown of his head, and hears the other give out a small chuckle of amusement. "Of course kitten, whatever you want." Kuro slowly settles back into his previous position. And it doesn't take long for sleep to overtake him again, filled with complete contentment and bliss. 

 

When Kenma wakes, it's to his stomach rumbling and the wafting smell of buttered toast and sizzling bacon. He slightly sniffs the air before opening his eyes and sighs in disappointment that he can no longer feel Kuro’s warmth beside him. Kenma allows himself to yawn and stretch before he rubs his eyes to force himself awake. He puts on slippers and pads out of the room, straight to their connected dining area and living room. 

He stops mid-step and blinks when he sees Kuro standing there, cup of coffee in one hand, and cat food on the other. 

"There you go buddy, must be tasty huh?" Kuro crouches down to place a generous amount of cat food into Pie's bowl. The kitten gives a pleased meow. "Yeah, yeah. I don't want you ever complaining to Kenma that I starve you, you hear me?" 

"Meow" Pie continues to stare at Kuro with wide eyes. 

"No! You are not getting any more this morning. We want you well fed, not extremely chunky!" 

"Meow" came with marching padding at Kuro's feet. 

"I know there's nothing wrong with being a chunky cat! But you're young and we have to make sure you eat healthy first, then maybe we can get you a nice piece of fish for dinner, how's that sound?" 

"Meow!" 

"I knew you'd see it my way. Now, go get your breakfast!" And Pie saunters off to her bowl and just about devours her meal. 

Kenma smiles at the domesticity of the entire scene. Kuro having an entire conversation with their cat, completely unaware, with all his barriers down. It reminds Kenma how easy it is to just fall into normalcy with Kuro, even with their new relationship. It's as if nothing and yet everything has changed all at once. 

"You know, I can't believe you lost an argument with a cat." 

Kuro immediately turns to face him and grins. "Excuse me, I did not lose. We just happen to reach a healthy compromise." He places his coffee mug down on the table, and starts to pour Kenma a cup of his own. He motions for Kenma to come over, and the gamer complies, ready to get his dose of morning coffee. 

"She got her way. You're giving her fish for dinner, it'll be your fault if she turns into a spoiled cat." 

"Oh come on, don't pretend that you don't sneak her pieces of your dinner from under the table." Kuro grins at him as he slides Kenma's plate of a healthy breakfast. 

He doesn't have a retort to that. because yes, he does shove Pie bits of his dinner from under the table, but Kenma would never just admit that and let Kuro win that easily. 

"I'll take your silence as an admittance of guilt." Kuro tells him. "But don't worry, at least you know she's got both of us wrapped around her finger...or is it her paw? That just doesn't sound right."  

Kenma smiles again as he shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth. He's too focused on his breakfast; that when he looks back up a while later, he sees Kuro staring from across him. The taller male's resting his chin on one hand, finished coffee mug on the other, and looking at Kenma with a look that seemed like he hung the stars. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kenma asks. 

"Like what?" 

"Like that. Like....I don't know, like I'm some kind of mythical creature. Or like I'm the best thing you've seen all day." Kenma clarifies with a raised eyebrow. 

"You are though." Kuro says with a smile so soft, Kenma kinda wants to slap that look off his face. 

"I'm what?" he asks again. 

"Best thing I've seen all day. Best thing in my life actually." Kuro says with the smile never leaving his face. 

Kenma's face burns, he looks down and aggressively stabs the next chunk on his plate and shoves it into his mouth. He hears Kuro guffaw at this, and feels his face get even hotter. "You know kitten, any more and you'd put our old Nekoma jackets to shame with that shade of red." 

"Shut up Kuro." Kenma mutters while he throws a glare at the other's direction. Kuro just continues to smile, already knowing that there isn't any animosity in that look. 

The remainder of breakfast passes in comfortable silence, moments with Pie inserted in between. Once they're done, they do their part to clean up, and then start their other routines for the day. Kenma goes back to his room and begins to focus on paperwork with Bouncing Ball and his upcoming stream, and Kuro goes to his own room to have a meeting with people from the JVA. 

It's pretty much routine at this point. Their jobs often being the reason why they can't always spend time together 24/7. But Kenma likes to think it contributes to why he loves Kuro so much, loves being with Kuro so much. His relationship with Kuro was never something that followed a certain set of standards or locked in a set of rules. They didn't have to always see each other to be happy, they didn't have to always physically be around one another all the time to be together , and they didn't require a regular update on each other's business every time. They also never deemed it necessary to be overly public about how they felt, at least not by their standards, which probably contributed to why they took so long to acknowledge their feelings in the first place. 

Theirs is more a quiet, straightforward kind of love. One filled with silent affirmation, affection, comfort and just being there when the other needs it the most. Kenma was never loud to begin with, always just observant and aware, but he never had to be for Kuro to know how he felt. Years of knowing each other has ultimately made Kenma realize that it's always, ever, been Kuro. And it always will be. 

Later that night, as the day ends and they snuggle together on Kenma’s large bed, Kenma’s thoughts drift to how lucky and content he is. Pie has chosen to sleep in between them on the bed tonight, positioning himself slightly, just on Kenma’s stomach. He thinks of his little family that they have built together and wonders about the future they have. 

"Hey." Kuro whispers, the man's hand stroking Pie's back, coaxing the kitten into a deeper sleep. 

"Hm?" Kenma tries his best not to squish their furbaby while snuggling just a little closer to Kuro. 

"We should get Pie a companion, don't you think?" Kuro asks him. 

Kenma raises an eyebrow questioningly. "You want to get us another cat? Why?" 

Kuro shrugs "I think it'd be nice to get the little guy a friend that's all. And don't you want Pie to have a friend?" 

"We aren't getting another cat." he tells the other. Kenma is trying to dispel this impulsive decision, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he would absolutely adore another cat. Kuro simply grins and their debate that night ends at that.

Three days later though, Kuro enters their home with more cat toys, another bag of cat food, and a small burmese cat following behind him. 

"Kuro. What's that?" Kenma stares, and gives the other a look . 

"... Not another cat?" The taller male says sheepishly, as he slowly sets the purchases down.  

The black burmese cat then pads over to Kenma and goes in between his legs. It's only then that Kenma notices the wet fur and shivering body. He bends down to pet the small creature and unknowingly smiles as he does. It then pads over to Pie who is observing at the corner of the room, and begins to nuze the other kitten. Kenma sighs in defeat before looking up to see a triumphant grin on Kuro's face. 

"Hey in my defense, I went to the store to get more cat food. This little guy just followed me home." He raises his hands in resignation after he puts down all his remaining purchases. "And it was raining Kenma! I couldn't just leave him there!" 

"Good on you for saving the cat. But we can't keep him Kuro. We're busy enough as it is and we already have Pie to take care of. We'll get him cleaned up and take him to the vet then find him a good home. Maybe Bokuto and Akaashi will want to take him." Kenma stands up and gives his pants a pat down. He desperately tries not to look at the new cat too long, or he's sure to cave into the request. 

When he looks up, Kuro is right in front of him. "Aww can't we keep him?" Kuro loops an arm around Kenma's waist and touches their noses together. 

Kenma glares. "I know what you're doing. And it's not gonna work Kuro." 

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Kuro says with a smirk. 

"We aren't keeping him." And again, Kenma tells himself that this isn't exactly because he doesn't want to, but that he's trying really hard not to give into temptation, and be the responsible adult in this relationship. 

"We can afford to get another cat though right?" 

"Well, yes we can." 

"And we love cats" 

"We do." He bites his lip at this. Damnnit Kuro. 

"So we should definitely keep this one." 

"No we won't" 

Kenma realizes at this moment that he's a liar. Because he never really could deny Kuro, just like Kuro couldn't very well deny him. And when it's all said and done, and they wake up the next day and watch as their cats are also cuddled together, Kenma can't really complain. 

Their newest addition to the family fits in with them perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle and two halves of a whole. 

Just like Kenma and Kuro.

Always together, no longer alone. 

So yes, Of course they keep the cat.

I added a second chapter to my previous KuroKen fic. This one is just pure fluff 🥰

[marshmallowprotection]

I really need to rant this out somewhere. I feel like there's a sudden burst of fics where the twin MC has been dating dies/gets taken away and to "cope" with that MC gets together with the other twin to "fill the void".

I just came across another one where Saeran had died and immediately after that Saeyoung was "coping" with it by making out with MC, and MC gave in because "he looks just like Saeran". I don't know, I just feel...like that's not only very OOC from Saeyoung who would be devastated if Saeran was gone and his first thought definitely wouldn't be to make out with MC who had just been dating his brother just to "make the pain go away", but it's also just...it feels so disrespectful towards both of the twins. It's like they're saying the twins aren't individuals. Like oh, hey, if one's suddenly gone, that's fine because there's the second option who looks exactly like him!! Are they not individuals? It's...I don't like it, it feels disrespectful because it's like they're saying that they only like the twins for their looks. Not because of who they are as a people.

There have been so many fics after the AE's release where Saeran dies in a bad ending and MC starts dating Saeyoung instead to fill the void, and I cannot help but view that as disrespectful towards both twins. I also can't help but think that it can't be healthy for anyone involved. Finding a new romantic interest after losing your previous one is fine of course, you don't need to stay single forever, but I feel like there's a difference between finding someone new and just immediately replacing your previous s/o with their identical twin "because they look the same" and thinking of that twin as them.

The thing with Saeyoung just caring about making out/dating MC after Saeran has died is so incredibly OOC when he sees his whole purpose in life being making sure Saeran is happy. And when Saeran isn't there anymore, well… We saw what happened in V's AE, if he found out that Saeran had died, he would be devastated and heartbroken.

Maybe this odd trend of Choi twin fics could work if it was shown that it's an issue to just replace someone like that and not see them as individuals, but in all the cases I've encountered, it's shown as a good and romantic thing. Like it's cute. Like these people want to date their favorite twin even in the other twin's route's timeline. Like the other twin never cared about the other's happiness or that he'd always had a crush on MC and was just waiting for the other to not be in the picture anymore or something, and seeing that portrayal hurts.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive. I mean, I don't know, do what you want but please, the writers who are out there writing these fics, please just at least warn at the start of that fic that that's what the fic is about. I would've loved living my life without reading one like that on accident, the whole thing made me so repulsed and upset that I had to let it out like this.

I’ve seen a fic or two like this in my life and honestly, they’re just not my kind of fic to read. I understand why people may write something like this, and while it may be their cup of tea, it’s not my cup of tea so I just avoid stories like this in general because if they’ve labeled it properly, then you can just avoid it like the plague if it bothers you.  

You can write whatever you want but you need to tag warnings such as “death, trauma warning, and anything else that you think may be upsetting to someone else.” It takes two seconds to tag something with a warning when you’re adding them on AO3 or Tumblr. I mean, you have the right not to tag them but at the same time, I don’t see why it’s difficult to expend two seconds to warning your possible readers what they may encounter. It’s not a spoiler warning to tag one word like “gun” or “car accident-related PTSD”, for example.

These fics are like often vent-fics for the author or maybe they just want play around with what that might be like. I personally don’t enjoy the concept of one of the twins ultimately dying and their MC replacing him with the other twin. It’s just in poor taste. Not to say that these events don’t happen in real life, and two people fall in love for a good reason after a grief event. But, like, using someone to fill the void and pretending that they’re their twin is just. 

So many shades of wrong. 

That’s wrong to Saeran and that’s wrong to Saeyoung. They’re twins, but that doesn’t mean they’re the same person. I will say that while Saeyoung would be horribly upset and broken if Saeran died, he would hit rock bottom, yes, but at the end of the day, he would continue living his life so that Saeran would be able to see everything through his eyes. They’re twins, and their souls are connected in such a way that he would live doing things just for Saeran to feel them in the afterlife. 

I strain to see if Saeyoung would be with the MC romantically like that. He would probably support the MC and always be there for them because they were there for Saeran when he wasn’t. They would be close and lean on each other, which I see as a friendship, a close one, but not really romantic. If they naturally were to fall in love after that, okay, sure, whatever you want to write, but if you’re using this as a device like I said earlier to treat Saeyoung and Saeran without respect to them? 

Just replacing one twin with the other? 

Could you tag a warning on your fic or make it clear what’s happening because yeah, this topic can be very upsetting to some people. Have fun with writing, you can write whatever you want, and I’m always happy to see people exploring new ideas and writing things that make them feel better, but just be aware that when you share your story, warning people may not be required, but it’s in good taste to try to do that.

[effervescentvampire]

Finally

Charlie Weasley x reader

A/N: This is the first one shot I'm posting. Hope you enjoy it 😉

Warnings: none I can think of

Y/N: your name

Y/fc: your favourite colour

Y/ec: your eye colour

Y/hc: your hair colour

____________________________________

You and Charlie had been dating for a few weeks and best friends for two years already when he asked you to stay at the Burrow with him and his family over the holidays.

Naturally, you had said yes to it, but your parents didn't like the idea of not seeing you in the already limited holidays. So, they had agreed on sending you to the Weasley's for a few days before going back to school, together with Penny Haywood. She, Bill, Charlie and you were the best of friends and your parents liked the idea of sending you over far better with Penny there.

When you arrived at the Burrow you felt quite dizzy. Even though you had already travelled via portkey before, you couldn't really get used to it. As the world stopped spinning around you, you looked up at the snow covered house before you. You thought the tall house with its many floors and wrinkles already looked amazing normally, but nothing could match the coziness of it surrounded by nearly 2 feet of snow and fairy lights all around.

"Y/N!", a familiar voice shouted. Mrs. Weasley was standing in the dorway, smiling at you. Looking behind her in a no less loud voice she cried: "BILL! CHARLIE! Come here already and help Y/N inside!".

You went up to the house as you heard hurried footsteps coming your way. Charlie came nearly running toward you, not having bothered to put on a coat, his bright red hair and the new jumper he was wearing a great contrast against the white of the snow. "CHARLES WEASLEY, GO PUT ON SOMETHING WARM, YOU'RE GOING TO CATCH A COLD!", erupted the voice of Mrs. Weasley.

You certainly couldn't care less, as you only had eyes for one person.

"I've missed you, Y/N", Charlie whispered as he hugged you tight. Behind him you heard a small chuckle. His brother, Bill, was standing there beside Penny, your big Hogwarts trunk already in his hand, waiting for you to get out of the cold.

You separated and hugged both Penny and Bill and finally got inside. You were greeted by the inviting smell of hot chocolate and an overflowing amount of christmas decorations. Everything was gold, red and green, you were even sure there was a gnome in a tutu on top of the christmas tree.

Ron and Ginny were playing beneath the tree, giggling and waving at you.

"Bill, you should show our guests where they will be staying", Mrs. Weasley said, and to you: " Penny arrived just five minutes earlier, dear. You can catch up while unpacking, I'll bring you some hot chocolate and a snack"

Charlie blushed, looking at you: " She thinks she has to feed everyone like her life depends on it".

The four of you made your way up the stairs, you hand in hand with Charlie, Bill pulling your trunks up after him. Penny and you had both insisted on carrying them yourselves, but he had refused.

"...and my sister got me a necklace!", Penny told you when you arrived on the second landing. There were two doors, both wooden. One simply with a sign saying: William's room, the other covered by the image of a big Common Welsh Green. Even if you hadn't already been here, you would have ultimately known whose room this was.

Slightly smiling you looked at your very favourite dragon enthusiast, squeezing his hand. "We thought I would move in with Bill and the two of you could share my room", Charlie said, blushing again, his skin as red as his hair. The sheer thought of his girlfriend sleeping in his room seemed to make him uneasy.

"Only if you'd like that, of course", he added quickly.

"That's brilliant guys, thanks for inviting us over!", Penny answered. She was such a sweet person and was able to make anyone feel comfortable in an instant. Charlie had returned to his normal colour, and pushed the door open to let you in.

The walpaper covering the walls was of a bright shade of dark yellow. Photos of your friend group and cut-outs of dragons and his favourite quidditch team covering an overflowing bulletin board. School books piling on the messy desk and next to a book case full of books on dragons. They had somehow managed to fit a second bed in the tiny space.

"Well, Y/N, you should take Charlie's bed! I'll be just fine right here. You know, I like getting up early in the morning, I don't want to climb over you to get to the door", Penny stated. Normally you would have just thought she was generous and nice as ever, but the wink of her eye told you otherwise.

"Uh, I guess, if you're ok with that?". You were a little embarassed, so you asked the first thing that came to your mind: "What was your Christmas like? Penny told us already, but what did you do? Mine was pretty quiet, just my close family, got a new set of dressing robes"

When Bill groaned, you knew you had asked a sensible question. "Don't get me started on that. Our Auntie Muriel was there... Fred and George pulled pranks on her like every year... put some potion in her dinner they got at the joke shop at Diagon Alley in summer...she grew feathers and threatened to never come back. They're grounded forever, that's why you haven't seen them yet. Mum threatened to turn them into owls so they would deliver the post as punishment".

You spent the whole evening up in Charlie's room, chatting about what else had happened and if you had heard anything from your other friends. Mrs. Weasley appeared to bring hot chocolate and snacks. It felt like only half an hour later that she came back in to tell you that dinner was ready.

Penny and Bill went downstairs, while you and Charlie stayed back a few minutes.

"You know, I really enjoy it every time I'm here. It feels so much more like home, especially after this whole thing with Jacob... . Thank you for always being there for me, Char. It means a lot to me", you said.

He looked at you, his freckled expression softening, brown eyes meeting Y/ec ones. "You mean a lot to me, even more than dragons. Of course I'm there for you".

You felt the familiar butterflies in your stomach. Charlie and you rarely got some alone time in between classes, the search for cursed vaults, meetings with you friend, quidditch practises and the unholy amount of homework. You practically couldn't think straight anymore when his face came closer to yours. It struck you in an instant: he's going to kiss me, you thought. The only thing in the world seemed to be his face, your heart beating loud and fast with anticipation. Your first kiss, it would happen now...

"CHARLIE AND Y/N STANDING ON THE STAIRS. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Fred and George bolted past you down the stairs, snickering. Charlie had been so shocked he backed away and hit his head on a cupboard. As soon as he recovered he chased them into the kitchen. Until a minute ago you had felt sad for them being grounded, now you thought they deserved it.

Neither of them stopped singing this ridiculous muggle song, lord knows where they learned it. Mrs. Weasley had managed to make them sit down at the table and was making sure Charlie wouldn't shout at them by shooting mad glances.

Ginny called out: "Oh, how lovely, Charlie!", as she entered the kitchen through the back door. You came down the stairs to see that Mrs. Weasley had finally managed to shut Fred and George up. Ginny, however, asked you sincerely: "When the two of you are getting married, can I be your flower girl?", causing Charlie to choke on his drink.

"Don't be stupid, who would ever want to marry Charlie?", Ron said.

It was all oh so embarassing. Minutes ago you were about to share your first kiss and within seconds the whole family knew. Charlie was deep red as rhubarb again, ashamed. You sat down next to him, holding his hand, hopefully showing him you weren't mad.

"Nobody here is getting married, not until they're at least in their mid-twenties!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, " and I don't want to hear any of that again. Sit down and EAT!".

The rest of the night went by without further interruptions of that kind, only some curious looks from Fred and George. Your relationship wasn't new to Bill and Penny, so they just brushed it away, saying they knew they would kiss someday and it wasn't a big thing, but every now and then you could see a kind of sparkle in their eyes, following you playing with Ron and Ginny and their game of exploding snap.

Bedtime for the younger kids came and went and you and your friends were thinking about building a snowman when Charlie's dad arrived. He was working on a weird schedule at the moment, something between morning and night shifts.

"Arthur, dear, come on in! We have been waiting for you... would've already sent them to bed, but we have to give Y/N and Penny their presents first!", Molly said.

Mr. Weasley looked very tired, wearing an old traveling cloak and soaked by the snow. He quickly pulled it off and used a spell to dry his clothes up.

"Penny, Y/N, it's nice to see you again! I hope you don't mind if I go to bed soon, it's been a very busy day at work. We just wanted to hand you your presents"

Mrs. Weasley appeared behind him, holding two identical shaped packages: "Go on, open them!"

You carefully unwrapped your present and gasped a little when you saw what it was. It was a real Weasley jumper in Y/fc! It was perfect, with your initial on the front. Bill and Charlie must have told them how much you loved their jumpers. You could often be seen around Hogwarts wearing one of their cozy pullovers, wishing you had one of your own. Now your dreams had come true and you saw Penny was holding a yellow jumper with a P on it.

"Oh, thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley! I didn't know you would make me a present, now I feel bad for not getting you something", you said.

Mrs. Weasley pulled you into a hug and simply replied: " I was told you always wanted one. Also you have had quite a hard time with your family lately, so I thought getting you something to show you that you are always welcome and loved here would be just right".

Penny also did her thank you's. It was apparent she mainly got one because otherwise she would have been left out, but to you that was just as nice as knitting you a jumper. At the Weasley's, no one got left behind, own caring family or not.

Soon, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley said goodnight and ushered you up the stairs, where you said goodnight to Bill and Charlie as well. When you got into your beds, Penny fell asleep almost instantly. You were very tired as well, but you didn't seem to be able to find any rest that night. Maybe it was because of this heartwarming gift, the excitement of being here. Maybe the fact that you were lying in your boyfriend's bed at the moment, staring at his ceiling, maybe the fact that even though the bed sheets were clean, they still faintly smelled of him, grass, honeysuckle and something so entirely Charlie, you didn't know how to describe. But mostly it was the thought of you nearly kissing earlier. The rest of the things didn't make it easier, though.

You tossed and turned and failed to sleep. At some point, you got tired of this. Pulling back the covers, you pulled your new jumper over your pyjamas. As quietly and carefully as humanly possible, you climbed over the sleeping Penny's bed in the darkness and exited the room. It drew you to the small window on the landing. The sight of snow silently falling calming you down, though you could not get Charlie out of your mind.

As if you had conjured him by your silent longing, he appeared next to you. For a second you only stood there, arms touching because of the tight space of the landing. Just enjoying the peace and rare silence at the burrow. Then you turned to face your boyfriend. Next to him, the beauty of the snow seemed dull and mundane. How could you marvel it, if the true miracle was standing right next to you, messy red hair, freckled skin and a jumper matching yours? You still couldn't quite comprehend how he could be yours.

"What are you doing here?", Charlie asked, already looking at you, his brown eyes full of affection.

"I can't fall asleep. It's... something is keeping me awake", you replied. You didn't want to admit that it was the thought of him haunting you.

"I... I also couldn't fall asleep, Y/N". Suddenly, his face was impossibly close to you, but at the same time not close enough. Around five centimetres away from him, you stared at Charlie in shock, butterflies in your stomach. You heard him draw in a deep breath. He only hesitated for a second, then his lips met yours.

It felt like heaven to you, finally being able to kiss the boy of your dreams. You kissed him back, wishing it would never end, the nerves of your lips and where he touched your cheeks singing in ecstasy, your heart beating as if it were to burst of love and joy, in a steady rhythm. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

When you pulled away, he held you in his arms. "I've wanted to do that for a long time. So bad actually, that it was the reason I couldn't fall asleep tonight", you finally admitted, knowing that was his reason as well in an instant.

So, you two just stayed there in your embrace, looking out of the window. It finally truly felt peaceful and a weight lifted from your heart, as you realised this was exactly where you ought to be, like home. And you knew, that if you could, you would never leave his arms ever again.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

flustered

(in which the author finds a dozen synonyms for "blush", while heaven and hell go to war. sort of.)

loosely based off this request by @coffeecakecafe! hopefully it falls at least somewhat in line with what you wanted

~*~

The first time Aziraphale held his hand, Crowley's face turned a shade of red darker than the roses he'd brought to celebrate the anniversary of Armageddon't. The angel, thankfully, had politely ignored the demon's flustered reaction and graciously accepted the flowers, commenting about how lovely they'd look on the windowsill above the sink.

The first time Aziraphale hugged him, Crowley thought he was going to have a heart attack. He instead buried his face into the angel's shoulder to hide his embarrassment. Aziraphale, who truly was a literal and figurative angel, had simply chuckled and allowed the demon to stay that way for a moment before taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

They first time they kissed, Crowley was pretty sure he was going to discorporate. Fortunately, he didn't. Unfortunately, he did turn into a snake, which was probably the most humiliated he'd ever been in his life, even if Aziraphale did insist that it was "rather adorable". Apparently pining for 6000 years had done nothing to prepare Crowley for just how overwhelming physical affection could be.

After a while, of course, he got more used to it. In fact, Crowley preferred to be the one to initiate physical affection, though he couldn't deny that he also thoroughly enjoyed when Aziraphale took the lead.

But despite Crowley's adjustment, his angel nonetheless still knew exactly how to make him flustered. The trick was unexpected affection. Or, as Crowley had dubbed it, "surprise attacks".

Sometimes they'd be watching a movie at Crowley's flat, and Aziraphale would rest his head on the demon's shoulder and slip his hand into Crowley's. Crowley, then, would have to pretend that his heart rate hadn't skyrocketed and that his face hadn't reddened like an overripe tomato.

Other times they'd be sitting on a bench in the park, talking about everything and nothing, and Aziraphale would lean over and press a kiss to the demon's temple. Crowley would blush and demand to know what, exactly, the angel thought he was doing, to which Aziraphale would respond with "you look adorable when you're flustered, my dear".

But, no matter what he tried, Crowley could never make Aziraphale flustered. This was not to say he couldn't satisfy the angel, of course. He knew very well that Aziraphale did not mind being pushed up against the wall every so often. Aziraphale was also fond of being on the receiving end of spontaneous acts of affection. (Oftentimes being pushed up against the wall was a spontaneous act of affection.)

But nothing got Aziraphale flustered. Surprise makeout sessions, PDA, whatever - while it was all enjoyable for the both of them - could not get a reaction out of the angel. And really, that was frustrating Crowley to no end.

(He'd even resorted to asking Beelzebub for advice. The two demons had been on much better terms after the Prince of Hell had hooked up with the archangel Gabriel. Despite their similar situations, Beelzebub's advice was virtually useless. If anything, their situations were too similar. Beelzebub also seemed to be the one who got flustered.)

Crowley didn't give up, of course. It was almost ridiculously satisfying to see Aziraphale blush and he'd be damned - again - if he couldn't figure out the trick to getting the angel flustered.

One day, he got lucky.

They were at the Ritz, playing out their usual routine where Aziraphale would eat and ramble aimlessly while Crowley sipped at water or wine and listened. At that moment, the angel was chattering excitedly about how he was going to acquire a limited edition of the The Crucible soon and that he couldn't wait to examine Arthur Miller's notes -

"Oh, I'm sorry, my dear. This must be terribly boring for you."

Crowley chuckled, offering Aziraphale a rare smile. "Not at all. You get this sort of spark in your eyes when you're excited about something. It's... endearing."

Aziraphale blushed. "O-Oh. Well, as long as - as long as you're sure you don't mind."

"Honest, angel. It's fi -" He cut himself off and did a double take of the situation in front of him. Hold the phone, ladies and gents and other respectable folk. "Wait. Are you blushing?"

Aziraphale's face turned a deeper shade of pink. "You simply caught me off guard, that's all. And not to mention we're in public -"

"Oh my Go - Sata - fuck." Crowley ran a hand through his hair, internally cursing his obliviousness. "Compliments! That's it!" Of course it would be compliments that got his angel flustered. Aziraphale was a reader, a writer - words meant everything to him.

Aziraphale frowned, trying and failing to send Crowley an intimidating glare. "I haven't any idea what you're referring to."

"Oh?" Crowley raised an eyebrow, unable to keep a satisfied smirk off his lips. "So you wouldn't care if I said that you were the most good-looking person in this room? That when you slowly lick food off your lips it's so damn enticing? That the way you scrunch your nose up when you think is ridiculously adorable? That -"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale interrupted, his face so red it could have resembled the perfectly ripe apple from Eden. "You're embarrassing me. What if someone overheard you?"

"Then they'd think we're two humans - definitely not supernatural beings - that are in love and enjoying a wonderful evening together."

"But still!"

"Well, I've got some bad news for you, angel." Crowley leaned over the table and whispered, "I love how you cute you look when you're flustered."

Aziraphale buried his face in his hands, muffling his reply. "I hate you."

"Psh," Crowley scoffed. "You love me."

Aziraphale moved his hands away to glare at the demon. "You have no what you've just started."

"Oh, but I think I do." Crowley rested his chin on his hands, grinning. "But if it means I get to see this side of you more often, then I don't think I mind. You're hot when you're angry."

"Crowley!"

The demon chuckled but decided to let his angel off the hook. "Alright, alright. Finish telling me about The Crucible. What kind of notes do you expect Miller's written?"

Aziraphale brightened up immediately, launching into detail about the parallels between the Salem Witch trials and the two Red Scares in America.

Crowley did his best to listen, but his thoughts kept drifting back to his newfound discovery. Compliments! Really, he should have seen that coming. He'd have to start writing down every possible way to flatter the angel. That would be his ammunition for this war.

And really, for better or for worse, Crowley had indeed declared war by pushing the angel as far as he had. Of course, this was a war he intended to win.

Huh. It seemed Heaven and Hell would be going to battle after all.

"I know what you're thinking."

Crowley blinked, Aziraphale's voice pulling him out of his thoughts. "What?"

"You think you're going to defeat me." Aziraphale dabbed his mouth with his napkin before placing his hands on his lap. "I suggest you rid yourself of that foolish notion immediately."

Crowley opened his mouth to counter, but he froze as he felt a hand gently tracing circles on his upper thigh.

"My dear boy." Aziraphale smirked, his blue eyes burning with heat more intense than hellfire. "You don't stand a chance."

~*~

[mvsas]

Stella's Chat, May 5, 2005 (4Kidz).

Lauren says: Welcome everyone.

Lauren says:Welcome to the chat with Stella

Lauren says:Hello everyone.

Lauren says:The chat session will be starting in about 15 minutes

Lauren says:Stella is scheduled to arrive in a hover limo in a few minutes

Lauren says:Stella has arrived!

Lauren says:She is going to get settled and then we'll start in about 5 minutes

Lauren says:Welcome Stella

Lauren says:stand by - she's just finishing her latte...

Stella says:Hello! Hello!

Stella says:sorry -- I can never pass up a good no fat latte

shimmeringstar says:what is your FAVORITE COLOR

Stella says:ohhh -- I love gold -- and sparkly things

Stella says:and I also like orange

winxgrl22 says:Hi stella I love you. My question is, How do your parents feel about you dating a non-prince like brandon or sky or whoever he is?

Stella says:Hmmm -- yeah -- that one was a little hard to explain to them

Stella says:so far - they're cool with it

Stella says:once I explained that he was really cute, and treated me nicely

chibimoonemem says:How long does it take you to do your hair? Does it make you late for classes? lol. {sweat_smiley}

Stella says:Totally!

Stella says:If I wash it -- it takes a long time to dry - and I try to dry it naturally,'cause it's better for my hair

Lety says:Stella who do you consider your best friend

Stella says:Bloom -- don't get me wrong -- I think the other girls are awesome

Stella says:but I'm just tighter with my girl Bloom!

shimmeringstar says:WHAT IS YOUR FAVORIE ANIMAL

Stella says:I think dogs are totally cool!

Stella says:the smaller the better too -- and you can dress them up in designer clothes

Stella says:sooo cute

waterwinx says:hey stella what you faverite class

Stella says:I think transformations is the coolest

Stella says:I can change my haircolor whenever I want

Stella says:and I'm working on a new outfit transformation

winxgirl9123 says:Whats your fave food?

Stella says:I love pizza - and I love canteloupe

nicole2005 says:Hey Stella, do you paint your nails?

Stella says:Yeah I do -- I like to do the french manicure type polish

Stella says:but sometimes I leave them natural and buff them

winxmagix says:So, are you still trying to create a new shade of pink?

Stella says:Always!

Stella says:I think that would be a worthwhile contribution to the fashion world

winxgrl22 says:Stella who is your favorite fashion designer?

Stella says:Lizzy Flashstone -- she's the bomb!

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163 says:What is like to be Princess os Solaria

Stella says to:It's pretty cool

Stella says to:I mean -- I have always been a princess

Stella says to:but I got a new appreciation for what it was like not being royal

Stella says to:'cause as far as I knew she grew up not being royal

dark evil gurl says:stella do u can u speak french?

Stella says:oui - je parle un peu - mais c'est nest pas bien -- et tu?

Stargirl says:Can you give me some tips how to get my winx? {heart_smiley}

Stella says:yeah -- I know Bloom has been studying really hard, and Ms. Faragonda gave her a book she keeps in her room

Stella says:have you seen it?

Stella says:It's got some excercises for connecting to your Winx

Zoey91 says:Do you have enough clothes.

Stella says:like -- never!!!!

MKAWC says:D o you like dressing up parties

Stella says:Totally -- especially if it means that I get to wear new outfits!!

Stella says: I also love costume parties -- also totally cool clothes

Stella says: actually, I guess I like all kinds of parties

winxgrl22 says:Stella how did you feel when your parents said they were splitting up?

Stella says:I was totally upset!

Stella says:I can't say I'm happy about it, but that's kinda the way things are ... y'know

Catrina says:Do you think blue and red go together?

Stella says:yeah -- if they're the right shades of blue and red -- not baby blue with orangy red -- unless you're trying to make a statement (that's not fashion victim!)

chibimoonemem says:What's the best way to de-frizz your hair?

Stella says:Oh -- well -- I always tell people to never blow dry!

Stella says:it just makes it worse!

Stella says:and there are great pomades to help control the frizz factor. I know that frizzy hair can totally get a girl down!

Petti_Angel says:What tips do you have for looking your best on picture day?

Stella says:hmmm -- always a challenge! And crucial! I find it is best if you tilt your head down just a teensy bit and look up at the camera

Stella says:it works!

Stella says:also a little vaseline on the teeth is good for keeping you able to smile a lot without drying out

Stella says:lip gloss is aslo a plus -- or lick your lips

dark evil gurl says:wats your fav freezee?

Stella says:Orange -- or if it's the mixed fruit kind -- melon!

cutiepieangel_06 says:do u go to the spa all the time?

Stella says:Every chance I get!!!! I practically live there -- and I think that everybody will have a chance to see the spa next month!

chibimoonemem says:What are your veiws on homework?

Stella says:Hmmm -- really, I am thinking of banning it when I rule Solaria....

Stella says:I mean, there are tons of other improtant things to do -- like read the latest Teen Fairy, go shopping, go to the spa....

Stella says:the list goes on --

IceAngel says:Hey Stella, If you HAD to get black shoes what type of shoe would they be?

Stella says:I think something classic and strappy -- that way they'd go with all my glam summer outfits

winxgrl22 says:Stella which would you rather do rule Solaria or become a fashion model?

Stella says:Rule the kingdom -- because then I can do both -- and have the royal jewelry to boot!

mask says:hey stella what can you do to keep your hair from drying out because my is and its better now but it still a little so what can I do

Stella says:have you ever done a hot oil treatment? You have to warm up some oil

Stella says:like coconut, or castor oil,

Stella says:and just make it warm, and rub it through your hair, and let it sit on there for a while -- maybe 20 mins or so

Stella says:then you wash it out with shampoo like normal

Stella says:It helps when mine dries out

catluver88 says:do you think that shaving or waxing is better?

Stella says:Well, personally, I wax ... I get it done at the spa .. but it's not for everyone

Stella says:you do have to be able to stand a bit of pain!

winxgrl22 says:Stella which winx girl do you feel has the best fashion sense?

Stella says:Honestly, I think that is yours truly ....

Stella says:but I think my influence is rubbing off on the other girls!

Stargirl says:What year was your best birthday? {lol_smiley}

Stella says:When I was 6! I had my whole family together, and I got a puppy -- it was fantastic!

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163 says:Do you like pizza?

Stella says:Yep -- I do!

StarFairy999 says:Are all the winx girls princesses?

Stella says:I think so .. I never really asked everyone...

Stella says:I guess it wasn't that important to me -I liked them for who they are

Tia robinson says:hey stella what are you scared of

Stella says:zit bugs!!! They're totally gross!

Glam Gal says:What would you like better: spending a day at the spa, or hanging with your friends?

Stella says:Those are two things I try to do together -- I mean -- can you think of anything better?!

iamsassy says:whatis your favoret color

Stella says:Gold and orange are my faves!

StarFairy999 says:Is the lifestyle of a princess as glamorous as it seems?

Stella says:It's not all glamour -- I mean -- there are things that you have to do -- royal functions that you have to attend

Stella says:sometimes you have to dance with visiting princes -- even if they're totally gross!!!

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163 says:When's your birthday???????????????????????????

Stella says:August 10 (I'm a Leo!)

shimmeringstar says:PLEASR ANSWER

IceAngel says:What's more boring school lectures or a meeting with the royal advisors?

Stella says:royal advisors -- they can be so ho -hum y'know!

Stella says:but Kingdom budgets yada yada yada ---

Stella says:it's a total yawn!

fairywinx_93 says:How can you keep ur hair so long?It's amazing!

Stella says:thanks! I've been growing it out for years!

Stella says:but it totally takes some work to keep it looking great - long hair gets really tangled

Stella says:so I have to brush it really carefully, and use gentle products on it

princessgrowler says:stella do you ever go on the forums at all

Stella says:Yeah I do -- and I'm learning how to use the interface between Alfea computers and Earth's computers

Stella says:it's pretty complicated, but Tecna is helping us all out with it

Stella says:she's totally awesome with that

Winx_girl44 says:What do you think of Rivin?

Stella says:I think he's got 'tude!! And he gets on my nerves

chibimoonemem says:Have YOU ever been to the potentially fatal Starbucks thread?

admin says:Ah, man, not the starbucks thread again!

Stella says:no -- I was told it was a way to break a nail -- and I'm not going to risk that!!

cutiepieangel_06 says:What's your fav latte?

Stella says:I like Venti skinny carmel mochhiatos (but I don't think I spelled it right!)

Petti_Angel says:How often do you get your nails done? {shrug_smiley}

Stella says:I get them done at least every two weeks

Stella says:but I make sure I buff and polish at least every other day

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163 says:Do you get an allowance and if so how much? Please answer! I'm desperate to know! {cry_smiley}

Stella says:Yeah -- I get an allowance -- but my Dad just puts it on my credit card. I'm not sure how to convert Solaria dollars to Earth money.

Stargirl says:Whats the best thing about Solaria?

Stella says:The shopping! Magix is a little slower to get all the really cool stuff -- so it's great to go back home

Winx Lover Girl says:Do you like Kiko

Stella says:Yeah -- he's a totally cute little bunny

princessgrowler says:stella do you have a cell phone

Stella says:Yeah -- I've got an inter realm model mini phone -- it fits in my pocket and goes everywhere with me

SolariaPrincess says:Do you think bloom and Tecna have taste in clothes for their kind of attatude? I really really want to know!! {smile_smiley}

KarliM.16 says:Who is your most least favorite witch? {shrug_smiley}

Stella says:Bloom and Tecna are cool -- they're trying to be individual - and that's really what style is about!

Stella says:Icy is my least favorite witch -- way too much eyeliner!

Stargirl says:Whats the worst animal you have ever seen?

Stella says:ohh -- I think basaliks are totally freaky -- in fact -- I might be more scared of them than zit bugs!

princessgrowler says:have you ever tried to impress a boy with your outfit?

Stella says:yeah -- I try to impress lots of people with my outfits!

Stella says:But mostly, I like my style to be for me

KindyLou says:Do U wear glittery or plain makeup?

Stella says:it depends -- I like glittery stuff for dances and things where a little extra something will make my whole look y'know.

Princess Tru says:Do you know if you will be able to visit earth soon?

Stella says:I'm not sure when we'll go to earth next -- but it wouldn't be hard -- all we'd have to do is use my scepter to jump realms

MKAWC says:Who is your favourite winx club member

Stella says:ummm -- well, I like everybody , but i'd have to say my bf Bloom!

Stargirl says:Did you ever do ballet?

Stella says:umm -- we did something on Solaria, and it looks kinda like ballet, but we didn't call it that. Most princesses have to take some kind of dance training.

KindyLou says:Whats the longest youve talked on the phone? {flower_smiley}

Stella says:Well -- I think the marathin record I have for phone talking was 6 hours!

Stella says:But my ear was totally sore for the next day!

alys says:What is your fave assorey?

Stella says:my Solaira ring -- I mean nothing beats jewelry that is awesomely powerful and is so gorgeous that it goes with everything

Zoey91 says:My mom has talked on the phone for 8 hours.

winxgrl22 says:Would you ever visit bloom on sparx?

Stella says:Well, she doesn't live on Sparx right now -- so I guess I don't really think about going there...

Stella says:I wouldn't mind going

winxgirl374703 says:Waht is your fave hair style?

Stella says:I love up do's for hot days, or for evening stuff -- but mostly I like to wear mine long and loose

Stella says:and a hair band helps to keep bits out of my face

Fussface says:If the witches were to take your Solaria wand would you fight to get it back?

Stella says:of course -- and they've tried before!

Stella says:But we've been able to take them!

winx rooocks says:what is the best teacher in alfea?

Stella says:Umm -- Ms. Faragonda. I know she isn't really a teacher, but I think she always looks so classy and has it together. I mean -- she runs the whole school, and still manages to look great for an older fairy.

spunky4444 says:hey stella how is brandon?

Stella says:Hey -- he's cool!

winxgrl22 says:Are you going to help bloom rule Sparx like show her some guidlines to being a princess?

Stella says:I'll help her out any way I can -- I mean she is my best friend and all...

StarFairy999 says:Who--in your opinion--is the best dressed movie star? worst dressed?

Stella says:Callie Heartlock has totally got it going on!!! Worst dressed-- that's a little harder...

Fussface says: are you more like your mother or father?

Lauren says:we've only got time for a few more questions

Stella says:I think I'm alittle more like Mom, but it's hard to tell .. I might grow up a bit more and get some more traits like my dad has...

Stella says:I guess we'll wait and see...

reallysmartgirl says: what is your fav outfit,winx or reagular?

Stella says:Winx outfit!

alys says:Do you like the message bord?

Stella says: I LOVE it -- I think it's soo cool to be able to post messages with everyoone --

Stella says:yeah -- it's awesome!

chibimoonemem says:What's your most embarrasing moment?

Lauren says:two more questions and then Stella has to leave

Stella says:well -- one time I was at a royal gala -- and we were eating spinach pie -- I had a huge gob in my teeth -- and I didn't know it

Stella says:then I had to make a speech to welcome the princes from other realms -- with green teeth

shimmeringstar says:WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF MUSIC

Stella says:I like to keep current -- so I'd have to say top 40!

Winx_girl44 says:What is your faveorite season?

Stella says:Summer -- so many more choices for outfits!

Lauren says:That's it everyon!

Lauren says:Thank you Stella for joining us

Stella says:Thanks Lauren, and thanks everyone else!!!

Stella says:/me smiles and waves

Lauren says:Wow! Stella just used her scepter to disappear

Lauren says:Thanks again for coming. We'll let you know when the next chat will be

[joannalannister]

I've seen you reblogging Jon/Dany stuff and I'm curious how likely you think that level of love/romance would be in the coming canon. Even putting aside whatever state Jon is going to be in post-resurrection, I'm not sure their past relationships suggest that each would be the other's type for instant attraction, and I don't know if they'd have time to develop much of a relationship what with the oncoming winter apocalypse. Or is it just a ship people like the idea of but don't expect?

Oh no, I don’t think the all-American, crewcut, boy-next-door Jon Snow we’ve seen in AGOT - ADWD is Dany’s type for instant attraction at all! 

Dany’s the type who likes rockstars with wild hair, and the power and danger of a big ol’ Harley-Davidson between her legs. She’s looking for a maverick fighter pilot from Top Gun to ride one of her dragons.  She wants a rebel with a cause, not a lost, grieving boy. I don’t think the Jon Snow we know is the type of guy Dany’s looking for!

But Jon Snow died. ;)

In the words of the King, “The person you put up there ain’t the person that comes back. It might look like that person, but it ain’t that person” (Pet Semetary). “Resurrection… ah, there’s a word (that you should put right the fuck out of your mind and you know it).”

GRRM has said that “Death is hard.” It changes a person. Look at the Lightning Lord. Look at Lady Stoneheart. They remember, but they’re not the same people anymore. I think Jon Snow, after spending some time in Ghost, is going to come back wilder. More reckless, more dangerous, more … rockstar. So I think Dany will find Jon very attractive. 

(from Jesus Christ Superstar) 

(Will TWOW please come out soon, because my ASOIAF / pop culture analogies are getting wilder and wilder.) 

So anyways, you can’t just “put aside” Dragonriding Rockstar Jesus Jon Snow and his Resurrection, or his Freefolk Groupies on the tv show, or his tv manbun when considering the potential for Jon/Dany. The resurrection – and the change it will bring – is a big reason why I think Jon/Dany has potential.

So how likely do I think there will be love/romance between Jon/Dany in canon? I’m certain of it. I think Jon and Dany will grow very close as they fight together to save the world, and I think that’s a beautiful thing. I’ll wager money on Jon/Dany falling in love in the books before the end of ADOS; any takers? First come, first served. 

I’m not saying there won’t be issues Jon and Dany need to work out, or that they’re just gonna say “Hi” before asking each other to winter prom so they can bang on the backseat of a dragon. 

I’m not sure their first meeting will go smoothly, or end well.

I don’t know the lay of the land for this journey GRRM is going to take us on. 

But I feel very strongly that our destination is Jon and Dany being in love before the books end. I don’t care how cliched, how trope-y anybody says it is; GRRM loves this trope-y, cliched fantasy shit. (I love it too.)

Do you remember Vaes Tolorro? Dany ate a peach in ruins bleached bone-white by the sun. The juice stained her cheeks as she ate, “so sweet she almost cried.” Vaes Tolorro is one of my favorite places in ASOIAF. It was cut from the tv show, because it wasn’t significant to the plot. 

It’s thematic significance is paramount, however. Vaes Tolorro is about life. It’s hope, in the midst of rack and ruin. It’s about standing in the shade of one of those white buildings and looking out at that sun-drenched Red Waste, at that endless sea of death stretching from horizon to horizon, and saying, “Not today. Not to-fucking-day.” It’s a glorious city, even in ruins. It’s defiant. As glorious and defiant as Casterly Rock in its own way, and I can speak no higher praise. 

“From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring” and all that jazz about hope and life and rebirth. 

To steal the words of Robert Jordan, “Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive, gloriously alive, today.” 

That’s what Vaes Tolorro is all about. 

That’s part of what ASOIAF is all about: “I’m alive. I’m still here, I’m up against the impossible and I’m still trying, I’m still breathing, I’m still standing, and you’re not going to treat me that way anymore. My life has meaning, my life is valuable, and you’re not going to treat me like a kicked dog. I’m alive. I’m a human being. And don’t you forget it. Because I will prevail.” Whether the “you” is a man as small as Randyll Tarly or a force as big as the Others, it doesn’t matter. To each and every one of them, what do we say? 

Not today, motherfucker.

That’s what GRRM is saying when he writes paragraph-long descriptions of food that make your mouth water, and songs to make your heart ache, and yes, love and sex. 

Every morsel the characters eat, every voice lifted in song to ask the Gentle Mother for mercy, every “often and unpredictable” kiss … it’s a celebration of life. 

And every celebration of life is an act of defiance against the Others who would destroy all life on Terros. Every kindness, every act to humanize one another … it’s a bulwark against the Others. Every time the Tywins and Tarlys and Boltons of the world work to dehumanize another person, they’re aiding the enemy. They’re traitors to life itself. 

(I could go on and on about this “celebration of life” for every story GRRM has written, but I’m restraining myself.) 

I don’t know what Jon and Dany (and Tyrion) need to do beyond the curtain of light to save the world. But I don’t think it’s something as simple as “We have to put this obsidian rock on the crystal throne” or something like that. I think whatever they have to do will be something more thematically important, something that is a celebration of humanity. 

When they go beyond the curtain of light, Jon/Dany is Vaes Tolorro. They’re an oasis of life, surrounded by death in the stronghold of the Others. Intimacy between them is the most life-affirming thing they could do, and that’s what the series is all about. 

I’m not saying Jon and Dany are gonna fuck to save the world but … I think Jon and Dany are gonna fuck to save the world. Or at least that’s going to be part of it. I’m not even particularly emotionally invested in this ship (where are the Lannisters?), but a Jon/Dany romance is simply the logical conclusion imo. 

“A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… .”

“We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

I think Jon/Dany is something glorious, something transcendent, but it’s also something sad imo, because I think they’ll die doing whatever they have to do. 

(Also Tyrion needs to learn to love himself and forgive himself, and I think that’s also a part of saving the world, but that’s not what this post is about.)

******

You mention that you don’t think there’s enough time, but I have a couple things to say to that:

1) GRRM can build a whole world in two paragraphs. Despite the verbosity of ASOIAF, he can tell a whole complete, emotionally-satisfying story in 10 pages. Give him one Dany chapter, and I think we’re good to go.

2) I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I think the place beyond the curtain of light is like the Fairy Realm and we don’t know the rules of such a place. Does time flow faster or slower there? Does time have any meaning at all there? We don’t know. If precisely nine months have to pass “under the Fairy Hill” while 9 minutes pass battling wights at Winterfell to make whatever needs to happen happen, then that’s what GRRM is gonna do. *shrug* We don’t know the rules. The rules of such a place are whatever GRRM will make them.

So I would say that there’s however much time GRRM needs to tell Jon and Dany’s story. 

As I’ve said elsewhere, I think the Iron Throne is going to be melted down, I think Jon and Dany are both going to die while saving the world (I will put money down on Dany dying, at the very least), and I think the Seven Kingdoms are going to break apart into separate kingdoms.

So I don’t think we need to worry about the “Afterward” for a Jon/Dany romance. It’s like if Frodo died in the lava when Barad-dûr collapsed in the movies. idk how it will play out tho in ASOIAF. Maybe after the “Fairy Hill” of the Others’ “collapses” for lack of a better term about what’s going to happen there, it spits mortally wounded Jon, Dany, and Tyrion out at a place of power, like the God’s Eye, idk, maybe it will be like GRRM’s Laren Dorr story. Anyways, maybe nine months have passed in the “Fairy Hill” while only a day has passed in Westeros, and Dany gives birth to a child before dying? Really, I don’t know, this is just me throwing wild suggestions out there. If GRRM really does make them have a kid, I definitely think both Jon and Dany are dying, but I’m really not sure if there is a Jon/Dany child in store in ASOIAF. 

I feel certain that Jon, Dany, and their potential kiddos are not going to be ruling Westeros in endgame. (I’ll put money on that one too. I’m gonna be rich as a Lannister if anybody wants to take me up here.) Any cute Jon/Dany+kids art/gifs I reblog is purely because I think it looks like a sweet and fluffy AU totally unlike anything GRRM will do. I really, really don’t think we’re ever gonna see any Jon/Dany family time, either together or one of them as a single-parent. (That’s what fanfic is for, friends.)

******

I could use this space to make a list and give you quotes to “prove” that “Jon likes THIS quality in a woman and THIS quality and THIS one” and then I could give you quotes proving how Dany possesses those qualities

but

1) I honestly don’t care. I’m mostly here for ASOIAF themes, and when I shake my magic 8-ball of ASOIAF themes and ask it, “Will Jon and Dany fall in love and bang?” it returns an answer of “Outlook Good.” 

2) GRRM is gonna change Jon to fit this, whether it’s the resurrection, or spending 40 days and nights in the deserts of Dorne, or whatever the fuck else is happening in twow

3) Jon’s headspace is not one I prefer to spend time in.

4) plenty of other people have probably already made such a list. (Feel free to link me, people!) Lots of people are way more emotionally invested in Jon/Dany, so if such a list isn’t already out there, I’m sure someone will write it. 

What I will use this space for is to mention GRRM’s short story The Way of Cross and Dragon. Because GRRM literally wrote and published a Bible AU with dragons and Judas in love with Jesus, let’s not forget that while considering Jon/Dany and the betrayal for love, I’m not even joking.

because Judas had loved Him so, Christ gave him a boon, an extended life […]. Once Dragon-King, once the friend of Christ, now he became only a blind traveler, outcast and friendless, wandering all the cold roads of the earth […] 

And Peter, the first Pope and ever his enemy, spread far and wide the tale of how Judas had sold Christ for thirty pieces of silver, until Judas dared not even use his true name. […] 

Christ promised that He would permit a few to remember who and what Judas had been, and that with the passage of centuries the news would spread, until finally Peter’s Lie was displaced and forgotten.

GRRM says he is a “recycler” of stories, and I’m interested to see what GRRM is going to do with Jon/Dany. I like the idea of it, and I’m totally expecting it to become canon during the apocalypse.

tbh this makes me sound more interested than I am, when in reality it’s like, I’m interested in Jon/Dany simply because I’m interested in the ending of ASOIAF. Because “Jon/Dany” and “ending” are synonymous in my mind. 

But I would literally forgo ADOS in exchange for more information about Casterly Rock and House Lannister. (A large amount of information, but still.) House Lannister for life, what can I say?