#I don't think I can give it up
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For Eärwen - when did she learn to swim and to sail? What was her first boat like? Does she have her own ship - if so, what does she name it? How old was she when she first went to Sea? Did she teach her children to sail?
I've been thinking maybe she was born in middle earth, during their big migration and as a child learned to swim with Osse while uncle Thingol went missing. Which she would have also learned to be a shipwright and to sail then too. Probably somewhere around sevenish, whatever that is in elf ages xD
I need her first boat to have been a bulbous little ship, just big enough for her with one little sail, tipping back and forth in the water with no balance.
Her first real ship is probably like a 30 foot, open deck with a little covered nook in the front. Her first love~~ maybe she names it Horizon Chaser 😂 something a little flashy, could call it The Chaser for short.
She 10000% taught the kids to swim and sail as early as possible. It was probably the first thing any of them learned. She absolutely started the infants swimming, you live by the sea you better get those kiddos ready in case they fall in.
#i really like the idea of not being born in vailnor and the kids having this pull to the other shore#heather spoiling me /) u (\ I love these thank you#about earwen#The only downside to her being born on the other shore is not being a kid with arvo o ^ o which is so precious and cute#I don't think I can give it up#so if no olwe teaches swiming and sailing to her around the same age sevenish
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Flower Empowered.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lan wunian#The absolute chaos that ensued when Lan Wangji showed up...those girls went wild.#We have to give kudos to narration that takes the form of a bunch of suitor seeking ladies.#They were so loud about being here for the hotties and whispering gossip. You go girls.#Wei Wuxian most likely just picked up a already tossed flower to throw. Second hand flowers...are still flowers I suppose.#Can you imagine if LWJ had allergies? Poor lad.#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:#So...from where we are in the timeline...what the hell is WWX supposed to be wearing?#I'm serious. Put all the fanart out of your brain for a moment.#We are post burial grounds and sunshot campaign so he's had his little goth moment reveal.#*BUT* he is still with the Jiang sect. And by proxy of this flashback talking about his disrespect - they never bring up his attire.#meaning he is likely in some kind of Jiang Purple.#Continuity wise it really feels like this scene should have been *before* the burial mounds.#I understand why it's post - we need to build up on the mystery of how he became the YLLZ.#But also his personality feels way more 'pre-burial mounds WWX'. I think this was probably a 'I don't want to kill my darling' scene.#(The Phoenix mountain flashback is a lot of people's 'darling'. I am knowingly putting myself in the line of fire here).#I'm willingly putting him in Wen Qing's borrowed cloak and assuming people take him wearing it as like...a war trophy.#Historians will revise this moment later on but for now he *is* a hero of that war.
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My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!
[id in alt!]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kh xion#kh namine#i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but#i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha#i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted!#ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming:#protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.'#so my general theme was finding a sense of self.#these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise#and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people#xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are-#instead of the parts that they share with someone else#and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all#i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see#hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words#but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine#i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it#ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha#fan art#my art#project stuff
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Page 18 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Felix brutally debunks whatever Adrien heard from Bri about their 'fairytale relationship' (she was trying to be nice! 🥲), and outlines how their Miraculous' powers of Fortune worked! 🪄🏰
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Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#A Matter of Trust#felix sphinx#bridgette cheng#adrien agreste#RIP bri trying to give adrien hope for his own ladybug and protecting his perception of felix :')#nooo haha they were always so sweet and nice and in love!!!#though what adrien actually needs to hear is that they WERE terrible and still ended up together#so he can handle the spats with his own ladybug without feeling too disheartened! bri was in his situation too and she got her man!!!!#i don't think i mentioned it in this comic specifically but bri DOES know who marinette is; so she knows for SURE she adores adrien#otherwise she wouldn't encourage the kitten so much lmao; be optimistic but not delusional honey!!!#(felix is aware bri knows babybug but has chosen to stay out of it; he's just concerned with adrien)
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got like five asks requesting aku or chuuya so i just drew them together🗿
#i don't ship them btw lol i hc them as mentor/student but you guys can do whatever ig#idk how to draw aku im so sry his hair is so hard for me fsr💀💀#since bones or asigiri didnt give them interactions i had to do it all by myself :(#its hard knowing your two favs will never get screentime together even tho they probably see each other everyday at work#also they are so father son coded after dazai left i'd like to think chuuya took responsibility for aku#since aku was the result of his partner's failed apprenticeship so chuuya felt an obligation to pick up where dazai left off#anyway they’re besties but i can’t prove it#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#ryuunosuke akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#bsd#lotus draws
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asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)
[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.
The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.
Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"
In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."
A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]
[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff#bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH....#when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of#asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want#maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him...#and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up#please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it.#and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first#time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate#wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask.#wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point#but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely.#bc he loves him a lot. but anyway#i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs#ruporas art
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assorted henry-charlie/puppet-charlie sketches and doodles for the soul (last one is drawn on my phone) since i really needed the wholesomeness of these right now on my timeline, and maybe some people needed to see it too </3
#it's gonna be okay guys i promise. please don't give up yet. never underestimate the indomitable human spirit.#similar stuff happened in my country too it was rough... please live your lives are so much more than what you think it may be#ok reality check aside i'm so sorry these are all i can post for now i'll answer my asks when im in a better headspace#hidden hands au#fnaf au#henry emily#charlie emily#charlotte emily#fnaf henry emily#fnaf charlie emily#fnaf charlotte emily#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddys fanart#five nights at freddys#fnaf#my art
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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
#disability#disability pride month#chronic fatigue#fibromyalgia#cfs/me#post exertional malaise#like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three#i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it#and my right leg has seized up#my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly#also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral#in summary#stop being fucking dense#i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker#or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it#also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by
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the morning (afternoon?) after this messy stunt. Floyd got off too easy in my opinion, but it's hard for Les to stay mad at him when he makes those sad pouting faces... 🤦
If you think Floyd's being really dumb at the start of this comic before getting a reality check, you have to take into account that he's madly lovesick and was feeling very smug atm; he's also a 15yo pop troll who thinks making out with someone means they're together now; and he assumed Les's sour mood was entirely the result of a nasty hangover...
P.S. They forgot about Hed lol (I almost forgot about him too, drew him just before posting lmao)
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls floyd#trolls oc#les#hed#ex bandmates#my art#pop trolls curse in their kid friendly lingo but rock trolls curse normal-style#it's just facts#i don't think les is being honest about how much what floyd pulled really upset him#he is a victim of much abuse growing up and some shit fucks him up more than the regular person#but he also knows floyd had no malicious intent and is just a kid#so he rather bottles it up to not upset both of them even more#amazing coping and communication skills this one 🤙#he is trying his best tho#i can't tell if you guys can tell but he's basking in the sun in that one panel#trolls comic#this was a really fun way to explore les's character and their dynamic#also les and hed's dynamic#trigger warnings:#tw alcohol#tw smoking#les gives life advice then offers cigarettes uwu#also you know this dude's hair smells horrible if he stores cigarettes and koosh in there ksjfbsdkc
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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One of the most insane things is when gentiles say with their whole chest shit like "real Jews don't support Israel" and its like. Um. Just like in every community there are opinions on this that range from literally genocidal to dedicated peace activism but the one thing we can all agree on is that you, as a random gentile online, do not under any circumstances get to define who a "real Jew" is. Oh my god.
#It's giving Joe Biden saying if yiu don't vote for me you ain't black#Like oh my god?? Shut up#Jews you don't like don't become not Jewish wtf#It's the most arrogant attitude I can imagine like WHAT delusion gave you the impression#That YOU. A random gentile tumblr user. Gets to define who is a ~real jew~#Also like I'm sorry do you think?? That Jewishness is some privilege that can be taken away by gentiles??#If we don't meet your standards??#Instead of. You know. An innate part of our identity that is part of who we are literally on a genetic level#Like being a jew is a fucking ethnicity ?? Do yall not understand that#Or do you just not care#Because if you acknowledged that. You would have to admit you're being racist.#Antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#leftist hypocrisy#jumblr#jewblr
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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.
people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.
"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."
the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.
the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.
at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.
"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.
this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.
#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations#idk that this makes sense#but im like#people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art#n im like#sure#but what if we stop making things for you huh#what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore#what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying#''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that#''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind#btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying#do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing#ur studying#do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying#etc#was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that
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Cite your sources.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#jiang cheng#lan wangji#mianmian#Jiang Cheng stays quiet after JGS says his foul little lie about WWX not respecting or liking him.#And because it's an audio format there isn't any other information we get on what he does.#Probably sit there in silence. Fermenting on his festering abandonment issues.#I think JC has a bit of a delicate heart when it comes to the last few things he has to hold on to.#And damn if JGS can see right into that weakness. He's got a mercury tongue. Silvery and poisonous.#I know LWJ makes his rebuttal more for preserving WWX's face than reassuring JC.#But I also know they *did* team up in the past and they do have a lot in common. And canonically can't stand each other.#They are my funny little duo and I'm the one drawing the comic. I can bake my own crumbs.#Would LWJ actually comfort JC? I don't think he knows how to comfort anyone actually. Not even himself.#JC is struggling so badly in this meeting. I'm glad there are other people in this awful meeting to tag in while he has a quiet cry.#Who's ready for Mianmian to go off next comic? Let's give a 'GET HIS ASS GIRL' to our queen!
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She came up with a new activity
#snake#snakes#Hognose#hognoses#pets#In her defense I also didn't realize the reason she couldn't move it at the end was because her tail was no longer under the basket#So instead of sliding over her it just bumped into her and was stuck#to her credit she did listen to me and follow my directions! But neither of us realized the problem.#ah it was cute while she did it#she was going a bit before I started recording#she comes up with silly fun activities#i should let her play with the hammock again#it's funny when she found it she'd gesture to me with her head when she wanted me to lift it and put it down#and it was like a weird elevator parachute game#i think she might have been extra delighted she was able to communicate her wants to me and I did them#We both got practice with that the other day when we played climbing ball#I misunderstood a few times#she is much more patient and less easily frustrated than her sister#she was asking for climbing ball and I thought she was asking for kisses#i did eventually figure out what she actually wanted#i suppose it helps she likes kisses too#when i say kisses I'm not putting my lips on her#I let her flick her tongue at the tip of my nose and make little kiss sounds at her#she either understands this is affection or otherwise likes it#Because she will often go to my nose and I'll give her kisses like this#I don't kiss her because the bacteria and stuff in my human mouth could be dangerous for her#I know reptiles and such can also have salmonella#But I'm really not worried about that part tbh as I keep my girls pretty clean#They are princesses#And know it
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Okay, let's finally talk about EPIC's Apollo
I feel very compelled to say, first of all, that I do not dislike Epic. In fact, I am very fond of Epic and have been following its production and status very eagerly! I attend all the launch streams, I watch all of Herrans' update videos; I am, at the end of the day, a fan and I want it to be known that my words are spoken out of love and passion as much as they are spoken from a place of critique.
So really, what my problem with Epic's Apollo?
In the briefest possible terms; the choice to have Apollo be defined by his musical aspect in God Games is thematically strange. And not in the 'oh well in the Odyssey, Apollo was important to Odysseus and his family so it's weird that that wasn't kept in Epic' strange, strange in the sense that Odysseus' character arc since My Goodbye has been getting more and more obviously Apollonian and so it is positively bizarre that when we get to meet Apollo, the god seems entirely disinterested in him and his affairs. So much so that he is not even defined by any station that would indicate that he has been watching over and protecting Odysseus and his family.
What do I mean by 'Odysseus has been following an Apollonian arc'? I'm so glad you asked!
Remember Them is the last song in which Odysseus explicitly uses his sword until Mutiny where he must use it to defend himself against Eurylochus' blade. He uses it to help enact the plan to conquer Polyphemus and, due to Polites dying in that battle, Polites who wished for Odysseus to put the blade down entirely and embrace a post-war life, Odysseus also retires his sword. This is an action that symbolically separates him from Athena - and the image of Odysseus as a traditional warrior set for him in Horse and Infant - as much as My Goodbye physically separates him from the goddess and her war-ways - from this point onwards, Odysseus will no longer be leaning on Athena's wisdom or methods to solve his problems. Likewise, he will no longer be able to rely on her protection.
Odysseus thusly solves most of his upcoming problems through diplomacy and avoidance. He approaches Aeolus - a strange and ambiguous god (both in gender and in motivation) and appeals to them for help. Circe too, he approaches not with wishes to conquer or for revenge, but for the safe returning of his men and an alternate way forward. In all of these scenarios, there is some Apollonian element which is subtly interweaved alongside the influence of other gods; it is with a bow and arrows that Polyphemus' sheep is slain (and thus it is this Apollonian element which is at the root of Odysseus' spat with Poseidon), it is a vision of Penelope that warns Odysseus that his men are about to open Aeolus' wind-bag, Circe's peace offering to Odysseus is to refer him to a prophet of Apollo who has since died.
In this way, Apollo is walking alongside Odysseus for all of his journey after Athena departs - even in the Underworld, he is guiding him. It is Tiresias' proclamation that is the last straw for Odysseus, it is by the power of a mouthpiece of Apollo that Odysseus decides to embrace his ruthlessness. It is with the bow and arrow that Odysseus subdues the siren who sought to trick him, likewise, Odysseus does not attempt to undermine or escape the fate of paying Scylla's passage price - he knows of the doom about to befall the six men and quite unlike the rest of the journey until this point, he does not fight against it. This all comes to a head on Thrinacia where it is a blade which sacrifices the sun god's cow and brings destruction upon the crew once more.
My point with all of this is that when I heard the teasers for God Games years ago, it made perfect sense to me that Apollo would be Round One - he is not Odysseus' adversary and has no reason to oppose Athena's wish to free him. From other teasers about what will happen in the climax of Epic, Apollo will still be walking alongside Odysseus - it is Apollo's bow that Penelope will give the suitors to string. Likewise, it is Apollo's bow that will prove Odysseus' legitimacy and identity. That bow will be the power by which Odysseus hunts his adversaries and cleans out his palace - it is Apollo who is the avatar of Odysseus' ruthlessness, not Athena.
So tell me, truly, what was the point of having Apollo raise a non-argument in God Games? Why have him appear unconcerned, aloof and slightly oblivious? Why have him appear in his capacity as the Lord of Music at all?? And if the intention was never to make Apollo an active player in Odysseus' life like he was in the Odyssey, why keep Odysseus as a primary archer?
The answer of course is that Apollo is inextricable from the fabric of the Odyssey - his influence and favour exudes from Odysseus just as much as Athena's. In Athena's ten year sulk, it would have been Apollo who kept Telemachus and Penelope safe. It would have been Apollo protecting Odysseus from Poseidon's gaze as he travelled the seas (according to the Odyssey anyway)
Forgive me for not being excited about something that I thought was being purposefully set up. I was extremely ecstatic about all of the little Apollonian details that litter the sagas because I know where this story ends up (loosely) but all God Games did was reveal that maybe those Apollonian details were not intentional at all, but merely the ghost of the Apollo who persistently haunts those he favours, even if he cannot explicitly come to their aide in an adaptation.
#ginger rambles#apollo#odysseus#epic the musical#athena#This of course is not mentioning the whole 'in the Odyssey the suitors have been explicitly praying#for Apollo to kill Telemachus so they can have free reign and Apollo is just going 'what's that? I'm sorry I can't hear haters' thing#I'm actually so disappointed by Apollo in God Games because I truly did believe that it was leading up to Apollo and Athena#BOTH being by Odysseus' side in the end#I really like the fandom view that Apollo used the sirens as an excuse because he has nothing against Odysseus#but in order for me to give that any merit there would have needed to be something in the text itself to support that#And Apollo only has the three-four lines which like - in and of itself is crazy#I really wish Apollo and Hephaestus had full verses like Aphrodite/Ares#Or at least a back and forth like Hera#The milquetoast Apollo who is apparently upset about murder but then only took a light rebut for him back down#I'm sorry have you not seen Apollo when he's mad about murder before? He's not that reasonable I promise you#I'm just not going to talk about him being mad about the sirens specifically if I think about that too long I'll get hives#Looking very forward to when Penelope finally gets her song 😭😭😭#Cannot believe you still don't have your song debut my queen the Odysseus economy is also in shambles
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all right let's do this again. like this post to receive a boop :)
#edit: okay i've been at this for twenty minutes and have decompressed now. gonna read a book but will try to boop others later#if i don't get to u i'm sorry. i'm a sham.#if it blows up like last time i will not get to everybody but i am Wildly Overstimulated after driving around a bunch of assholes#and i need 2 decompress. give me buttons to push loves.#tumblr#halloween#ETA: I DONT THINK I CAN BOOP YOU IF YOU ARENT OPTED IN... HIT START....
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