#I don't support anorexia

[silverfroot]

8 hours standing with 100kg

My knees and feet hurts. I've been working all day long standing.

GOD it hurts!

I need to loose weight or I'll loose my knees and my ability to walk properly. Just woke up and couldn't barely walk properly.

Today is Saint Joseph's day and I made a promise that I will stay one year without fried potatoes. Also, I'm willing to try to cut off flour. I've been in absence of sugar for a month.

I'll be avoiding foods that hasn't nutricional value, just carbs and fat. I'm getting nothing good from those zero nutritional value things.

[dickggansey]

i'm glad kids these days have representation and shit but i REALLY dislike heartstopper why is it so boring

[gh-0-stcup]

One thing that's so odd to me about the Eugenia Cooney thing is how there's still people who think she's in denial about her ED.

She knows. She was in a treatment program, she mentioned in it Shane's "documentary". The people who are wondering what she's saying to convince doctors (and the recent crisis team) that she's fine kind of boggle my mind.

She just tells them the truth. That she has an ED and either that she's trying to work on it by herself or that she does not want to get better. It depends on where you live, but very often medical professionals aren't going to bother putting limited resources towards someone who does not want the help.

She can say, "Yes, I'm anorexic. Yes, I know I could die. No, I don't think going somewhere would help but thank you for the resources." Whether they decide that's grounds for commitment or not depends on the laws of her state and the personal judgement of those evaluating her.

Leaving her to die and moving on to the people who are in her same physical state but begging for help isn't exactly a wild decision.

[sztefa001]

I'm still learning to be unbothered by botoxed faces, fake big tits and noses that went from their nice original shape to look like a generic small one that is somehow "prettier." I got over the noses and somewhat about tits. It's still hard for me to see botox as anything other than frivolous practice that will most likely make you look ugly but at least I'm not as judgemental as I used to be.

I guess sth clicked for me when I saw a post about how just a little bit chubby person was saying "I wish I could lose some weight" while standing next to a fat person. The point of the post was that saying this will offend fat people because your worth shouldn't be measured by your shape or weight.

And I thought "this is bullshit!" Because most if not all people agreeing with this post would wish good luck to a trans man going for boob removal surgery and yet they won't support a person wanting to be fit. Both cases are about a person being unhappy with their perfectly normal body and wanting to change it.

And then I understood I cannot support one bodily autonomy while thinking the othe is stupid and harmful. It's everyone's choice I have no say in.

So yeah. If you know the risks and know where to best get it done then by all means go for it. Whiten your teeth, straighten your nose. Use botox. Get tattoos. Cut off your tits or make them big as watermelons. It's not my body, it's yours. Whatever makes you happy.

Even if you later regret some of your decisions, it is not my cue to berate you saying "I knew it was gonna end up like that!"

I may not be comfortable with what you do to your body. But it's your body and your choice, and if I want to exist in this world I have no choice but to respect it.

Yall do NOT hop on a cosmetic surgery hate train during an ongoing campaign against trans Healthcare I am fucking begging

[serial-unaliver]

ok let me explain something- if you aren't 'naturally skinny'* then you objectively cannot stay underweight and lose more weight without a diet that becomes more and more restrictive. the lower a human's weight, the harder it becomes to lose weight, you have to push your body past its limits. if anyone's ~weight loss journey~ is "underweight and loses more weight every week" that's actually called anorexia and it will either kill you or permanently damage your insides. we have reached mainstream body positivity for anorexia and if you call it out you're considered jealous or told you're body shaming skinny people LOL. it's actually the girls supporting eating disorders who are jealous btw. you are fucking seething because you can't commit to that life (which is a good thing actually) so you project your own insecurities onto others ❤️ have a good day

*imo it's debatable whether or not "naturally skinny" is a thing outside specific medical conditions and/or medication influencing weight. I don't know a single "naturally skinny" person that isn't unintentionally in a calorie deficit--you can do this with large meals btw. there's a guy on tiktok who is super underweight and trying to gain weight and if you calorie count the fast food he binges on HE IS STILL IN A CALORIE DEFICIT because weight loss and gain is about calories and not quantity of or nutrients of food. there are a lot of reasons why someone can be in a calorie deficit unknowingly--it can be as simple as they just don't get the same pleasure reaction to food other people do so eating feels more like a chore. some people literally just enjoy food more than others.

[this-smile-is-real]

Hi.

My name is Hannah and I am 27 years old.

I have lived with Complex PTSD and Anorexia since I was 6 years old.

Over the years I have also been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, Functional Neurological Disorder, Fibromyalgia, a large bowel that no longer works and Costochondritis. I have had 46 hospital admissions both medical and mental health over the past 8 years to date (date of posting is April 2024)

I require weekly psychology, dietitian,, GP and physiotherapy appts as well as weekly medication costs, and other specialist appointments frequently.

I have been on the disability pension since 2019 but that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what I require and I have thousands of bills outstanding and money required to access the supports that I need to not be in hospital every few weeks.

I so appreciate the current cost of living but would be so grateful any donation large and small so that I can begin to truly live. Believe me when I say I have exhausted every option possible to try and get on track and moving forward.

Thank you for reading x

[niphredil-14]

"Hey Beautiful, Have You Eaten Today?" Raphael/Reader Imagines

Summary: My relationship with food has been shit lately, so I imagined Raph comforting me/helping me with it.

TW: MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS/DISORDERED EATING, ANOREXIA, FOOD/CALORIE RESTRICTIONS

Notes: I imagined this as 2003 Raph, but it's kinda vague

Imagine Raph finding out about your ED. Of course he's mad, you're hurting someone very dear to him, but he won't let on just how angry he is. You're his priority here, and he knows that you won't let him in to help you if he lashes out. So, he is soft and supportive throughout the conversation. He is understanding, but expresses how knowing that you aren't taking proper care of yourself is upsetting for him.

Imagine Raph, after finding out about your ED, texting and calling you periodically throughout the day, and showing up at your home at night, to ask if you've been eating. He is never patronizing with his praise when you have eaten, simply responding with something along the lines of "That's good," or "That sounds delicious," or "Nice, hope you enjoyed it." And on the days you haven't eaten well, he always knows when you're lying about it, and will, regardless of time of day. deliver you some food. He doesn't pressure you to eat all of it, knowing that the pressure will only make it harder to eat, and he will be happy so long as you eat a few bites, and will finish off the rest for you if you don't want to save it for later.

Imagine that whenever Raph eats near you, he offers you some of his meal, and will let, and encourage you to, eat as much of it as you want.

Imagine Raph, who so so so proud of the progress you make, and never shames you when you relapse. He's there for every step of your journey, ready to pick you back up again.

Imagine Raph, who will read menus and order your food on the apps, so that during your recovery, you don't have to even know how many calories are in something you want to eat.

Imagine Raph, who loves how you look after you've gained weight just as much as he loves how you look when you were skinnier. He loves how you look regardless, but he notices your heightened insecurity, and offers you work out with him so that you can get the body that you want in a healthy, safe way.

Imagine work out dates with Raph, so that you can spend more time together, as well as so that he can make sure that you don't overdo it and begin abusing your body for the sake of aesthetics.

Imagine Raph, who is so observant, and picks up on what kinds of praise and compliments you're okay with, and which make you uncomfortable, and is constantly course correcting, and readjusting his words and behaviors, because he loves you, but knows that sometimes it can be hard to hear that people love and positively acknowledge the parts of you that you don't.

Imagine Raph, who is there throughout the ups and the downs, and proud of you regardless, because you're trying, and that's all that he can ask of you: That you try to be kind to yourself, and that you let him love you.

[educatedsimps]

— you are my sunshine, sakusa kiyoomi

≪ back to fics masterlist

sakusa kiyoomi x anorexic!reader

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: EATING DISORDER (anorexia), slight nsfw (light petting with no penetration, NC16 at most?), swearing PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED BY THE ABOVE TOPICS. please exercise some self-care and enjoy some of our other fics instead! we'll see you in our next post <3

a/n: i really NEEDED TO do this. doing this for my sanity 😭😭😭 - yves

content under the cut!

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," you sang as you drove along the expressway.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey," Sakusa, comfortably seated in the passenger seat, sang in response. He gently squeezed your thigh.

You let out a breath with a smile on your face. That day was an exciting day for the two of you. It was the match between the MSBY Black Jackels and Schweiden Adlers, and Kiyoomi had been a ball of nerves for the past week. So to show your support, you decided to drive your dear passenger princess, Sakusa Kiyoomi, to the Kamei Arena Sendai Gymnasium.

You had spent half a day at the office and the other half dolling yourself up for the match that evening. Kiyoomi frowned at the sheer effort you had put into looking good for him at the match. He grunted out something along the lines of "getting distracted by how pretty Y/n is" and how "You have to be less pretty or I'll have to learn how to fight with my bare fists". You laughed at the thought of your husband trying to smash someone's jaws with his fists when he hated any physical contact with strangers.

After kissing him goodbye at the back gates leading to the MSBY locker rooms, you went to the Ladies and touched up your lipgloss infront of the mirror. As you looked at your reflection, you thought to yourself, maybe I do look good.

Ding!

From: MSBY girlies + Keiji <3

Miyu (Atsumu's GF) [6.43pm] Y/n pookiee~ Are you here yet?

Keiji (Bokuto's fiance) [6.44pm] We're at the VIP section, Row 1. The security guard knows who you are so he'll show you the way in later. You sure you don't want us to come find you?

Kira (Meian's wife) [6.44pm] ahhh can't wait to see you, Y/n! XD

You smiled as you read their messages.

You [6.45pm] I'll be alright, thanks! I'm heading up right now Excited to see you guys too :>

They had been planning to sit together since the start of the new season, after Kiyoomi had formally introduced you to the rest of the team.

As you reached the VIP area, you immediately regretted agreeing to sit with them. Your self-esteem shattered the moment you saw them.

They were drop-dead gorgeous, with their perfect makeup, in their perfect outfits that hugged them in all the right places. They looked straight out of a fashion magazine. It was something about how feminine they looked, and the way they all smiled sweetly when they saw you. So inviting and loving. They were the boys' partners after all.

But they've got to have flaws, right? That's only human.

Their smiles felt genuine, and you could see glimpses of their partners in them. Some were rowdy, hugging you when they saw you and treating you like one of them. They asked you questions about yourself, even getting drinks and snacks for you and including you in the post-game party at Bokuto's place. For a moment, you felt like one of them.

But how can a whole group of people be so damn perfect?

God, how you hated how inferior you felt. The differences between you and them became even more apparent when you saw the post-game pictures that had posted on Instagram. You had only gotten their Insta handles just a day before and were already on the verge of unfollowing.

It was insane how out of place you felt as they sat there so pretty in just their partners' jerseys. Somehow, they still managed to look so good. Unlike you.

Eventually, your brain churned out only one reason - it all came down to how small and delicate they looked compared to you.

How they looked worthy to be the lovers of the MSBY players. How they were pretty enough to be their partners.

It was crazy enough that you were comparing yourself to the Akaashi Keiji. How alluring he was, even just sitting in the same area as you. He was even more beautiful up close, there was something deep within his psyche that was so magnetic. It was evident that he took care of himself, with how his dress shirt clung to his thin waist. You can't help but admire him, and you wondered if your own clothes would ever do you the same favour.

If only you had a waist as small as his.

It scared you how the need to fit in with them became so acute. The hopes of not being the laughing stock of the group fueled the waves of self-hatred that you hadn't felt since high school. You were bullied for being chubbier than average. Teenagers were brutal, especially to anything they perceived to be different.

Obese. Katsudon. Pork planet. They were corny, sure, yet shivers ran down your spine at the memory of those names. Not long after, you started having nightmares of that darned high school. The same bullies, the same by-stander classmates, and the new addition of Kiyoomi in his high school uniform with disgust in his eyes, telling you to break up with him. His back faced you whenever you asked for the reason.

It's because of how fat you are. He'd still love me no matter what right? Right?

And every time you woke up from one of those nightmares, you would wake up sobbing.

Yet every time, Kiyoomi still seemed to be blissfully asleep. You knew he'd always have trouble sleeping before an upcoming match and with him looking so at peace, you never had the heart to wake him up.

He doesn't need to know about this. I'll tell him when morning comes.

But you never came round to telling him about the nightmares. The seeds of doubt from those recurring nightmares started to sprout inside you.

You stopped finishing your meals. You started running with Kiyoomi in the mornings to "spend more time with him". Lunch breaks at work were replaced with attending the pilates class across the street. The cans of Celcius in the fridge were depleting faster than ever. Your daily coffee order changed to an Iced Americanos with 4 shots of espresso.

And when the number on the scale dropped, the grin on your face was evidence enough of how light your heart felt. Nights were long when you spent the first hour waiting for Kiyoomi to fall sleep before you shimmied yourself out of his warm embrace to count the flaws of your body with your reflection in the full length bathroom mirror. With how your waist measurements dipped along with Sakusa's compliments of how much healthier you had become lately, your were giddy with happiness.

But God, did it hurt when you realised you had seemed 'unhealthy' to him in the first place. He could have just called you fat, it's not like you would've crumbled, right?

Hit with the sickening realisation that the voice in your head was right all along, that it was even how Kiyoomi saw you, your tears mixed into the shower water one day after a pilates class. You were glad that your husband was busy at practice and wouldn't come in to take an impromptu shower with you and see you in this wretched state.

Please, please, please, don't prove I'm right.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹

"You'll never know, Dear. How much I love you~,"

Your husband sang from the kitchen as you hugged him from behind. With his beefy back against your face and him cooking breakfast, it felt like a blessing so surreal. You wished you'd never have to leave this position.

It's a late Saturday morning and you and Kiyoomi had agreed to have your usual stay-at-home date.

"Eggs?" He looked over his shoulder to you hugging him like an oversized stuffed toy.

"Maybe just egg whites today. I wanna try a new brand of yogurt I got yesterday with the granola I made this week," You replied, stifling a yawn

He nodded in acknowledgement and fetched the carton of egg whites from the fridge as you detached yourself from him and took the cutleries and dishes out of the dishwasher.

"How have you and the girls been? And how's the uh, pilates class you said was kicking your ass?" Kiyoomi asked as he plated his scrambled eggs.

You took the low fat, high protein yogurt out of the fridge as you replied, "It's fun, but I definitely understand why Pilates was made for prisoners."

His eyes were obviously judging you as he laughed to himself. "It can't be that bad. Definitely not as bad as our training when Meian-san is in a bad mood."

You could only sigh with a roll of your eyes. You retorted with an elbow jab to his side, "Why don't you come for class one day and we'll see about that, Mr. I'm-So-Strong."

He squirmed with the frying pan in his hand and a spatula in the other, swatting you away like a fly. You stepped away to giggle at the sight of him using his spatula like a sword in Barbie and the Three Musketeers.

When all was done, the both of you sat down at the small, 4-seater dining area in your home and continued chatting about how the week had gone.

"Itadakimasu!"

And the first thing that Kiyoomi dug into was your yogurt. You stared at him, offended. He ate it as if he was the one who had bought groceries that week.

The moment the yogurt touched his tongue, his face turned as sour as the yogurt he ate. With his face all scrunched up like that, you couldn’t help but let out a small giggle as you took the second spoon of yogurt from the same bowl.

“Y/n, I have no clue what’s so nice about this- this bowl of cold, white... glue," he looked at you in pure astonishment.

“That’s because you're supposed to eat it with fruits and granola, Omi-Omi," You stated simply.

You didn’t have the guts to tell him that you were more worried about exceeding your 600 calorie count for the day than how shitty the yogurt tasted.

"Atsumu's rubbing off on you..." he grumbled, making you giggle at the way his face scrunched up at the sound of Atsumu's nickname for him.

After breakfast, the two of you moved over to the sofa to browse Netflix for a show to watch. As usual, Kiyoomi had the remote control in his hand and the other on your thigh. Catching a glimpse of the wide smile on your face, he noticed that your thigh seemed a lot smaller and more toned than before. He glanced down at it, though his face didn't betray his shock.

Since when did your thigh get so small?

"Y/n, you like the size difference between my hand and your leg? Is that why you're smiling so much?" he teased, smiling as you blushed crimson.

"Didn't realise you had a size kink," he whistled, grinning as you slapped his bicep playfully. He tightened his warm grip on your thigh, making you gasp. Your hand reached for his shoulder as you swung yourself from the sofa and onto his lap for a peck on his lips. You could feel him smiling into the kiss before you pulled away.

"Seducing me this early in the morning, babe?" he said, poking your nose lightly with his finger.

You smirked teasingly at him as you moved your hips against his, making him groan softly into your ear.

"Maybe," you drawled, tracing his jawline with your finger before going in for another kiss. This time his lips trapped your tongue, sucking on it greedily. Dopamine rushed to your head as your innocent kiss became a steamy tug of war. His hands ghosted your abdomen and you suddenly became hyperaware of it.

Fuck, he can feel how fat I am.

You instinctively flexed your abs, in an attempt to stop him from feeling the folds of ugly fat around your stomach. His hands held your waist firmly as his thumb traced your abdomen, before coming to gradual stop.

Kiyoomi broke apart from the kiss, leaving your swollen lips to chase after his, but his forehead leaned against yours to signal a stop.

"Babe, what was that?"

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and you weren't sure if it was from the make-out session or his realisation that...

"What was what?" you returned, looking at him with your best attempt at puppy eyes.

You were cold sweating by then, but you hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Are those… abs?" His eyes flew wide, his attention all on you. His eyes were filled with curiosity and oh, how they glimmered so beautifully.

You wished upon the stars you'd never have to lie to those eyes ever again.

"Of course, I just thought maybe you'd like to see a different side of me... a little sexier," you averted his gaze, guiding his hand towards the hem of your oversized shirt.

He lifted your shirt and you saw how his cheeks turned an embarrassing shade of red. Burying his face in your chest, he tilted his head up to meet your eyes. "God, I have no clue what to do with you, Y/n."

It was quite evident what he wanted when you felt his shaft become more prominent through his home shorts.

And the rest became a memory you keep with joy. 

Please, please, please, don't bring me to tears when I just did my make up so nice.

But all that joy didn't last when you woke up the next morning, scrutinising your body in front of the mirror.

How could you let him see this? This slob of a body?

Shame clawed at your throat as your fingers tugged at the fat of your stomach. You placed your palm over your collarbones, and they felt sharper than they used to. You knew you'd definitely lost the weight, but the greed to look more dainty than ever had you in a chokehold.

These thighs look so fat. Your arms are so flabby. Gosh, even your armpits are fat. It's hideous.

You're hideous.

And nothing but regret and guilt kept gnawing at your insides like a feral beast. The only solution you came up with was to grab the biggest shirt in the house - his MSBY jersey - and the sweatpants that covered your legs entirely.

In the following days, when Kiyoomi tried to remove any article of clothing from your body, you grabbed his hand to stop him with the excuse that you were tired. But truthfully, your new routine had been wearing you out more than you had anticipated.

His next match was with EJP Raijin on another Saturday night, with crowds roaring from both sides of the arena. You let yourself loose the moment the girls called your name across the hall, running over to hug you.

Your defenses go down as you shared a laugh with the others. When they offered a pack of chips from the snack table, you hesitated. But your inner voice reminded you that you had been fasting since the previous day, so you take the bag of chips with a smile. You felt lightheaded and giddy when a couple of the girls compliment your figure - it was the happiest you'd felt in the past two months.

The hunger pains were worth every bit of this happiness.

During the match break, you found yourself talking to the EJP players' partners as well. When Atsumu's girlfriend introduces you to the other girls and guys, your attention went directly to Suna's fiancée. It's obvious that she was a much smaller build than the other girls but the way her dress hung off of her made you gulp nervously. Your brain was strangely and subconsciously wired to recognise her as competition. She was quiet and elegant, small but eloquent. She was everything you wanted to be.

"Oh, mineral water's fine with me," she said with a smile when you offered her a bottle of Coke Zero.

GUILT GUILT GUILT

It made you choke back tears when you realised how fat you were behaving. Or how bloated you looked right then, with all that carbonation and salt.

And those thoughts immediately got rid of any joy of that day. When you headed home, you tried your best to look happy after Kiyoomi had served the winning goal, but your mind was plagued with the nagging thought of how you had let yourself slip.

Later that night, after snuggling in with your husband and making sure he was fast asleep, you snuck out of his warm embrace. His biceps were so warm, and being sandwiched between his chest and his arm made it hard to leave when it was the best place to be.

You left to burn off the calories from the snacks you had binged on earlier that evening. As you left the bedroom with a yoga mat in arm, you were determined to complete the new routine you had promised yourself in the shower. You wished you could do it without any problems but recently, you had been seeing black spots and felt lightheaded every time you did any physical activity. It was a bitch to have to stop for awhile before continuing your exercises.

The moment you stepped into the shower, sweaty and tired, you didn't notice your husband stirring awake as the warm water hit your body.

Kiyoomi was confused when he woke up to his arm cold and the absence of your body pressed against his. He had been itching with nerves those few months when he realised your behaviour had started changing around him. And that same anxiety only heightened when he heard your sniffles coming from the shower. It was the first time you became so reclused from him. At first, he was worried that you were wringing yourself dry from the amount of work you had, but he later spiralled into thinking that it was because you were falling out of love with him. 

When he heard the bedroom door click open, he hurriedly pretended to be asleep.

Beep. Silence. Beep.

Your sigh made him itching to hug you and ask what happened. But the sigh following the beep of the weighing scale made it clear to him that the number on the weighing scale had somehow upset you one way or another. You approached the full-length mirror and peeked again to make sure your husband was still fast asleep.

You lifted the jersey above your chest, throwing it off to the side of the bed where you slept.

Kiyoomi honestly thought you were about to climb into bed topless (don't ask, he was not in his working mind). But when you stood still in front of the mirror, scrutinising your body like a piece of meat at the market, he could tell that you weren't heading to bed anytime soon.

You pinched at every corner of skin you could find. You looked at the woman in the reflection, and all you could see was the poor girl in high school. Fat and ugly, unlikeable and pitiful.

You then turned to your side, hoping to find comfort in seeing a flatter stomach.

In the dim lights, Kiyoomi could see the outline of your emaciated figure and the faint outline of your ribcage was enough to make him open his eyes fully in shock. The bruises along your spine made him wonder if he had been too rough with you all those times you were intimate. The way your hipbones jutted out were enough to throw him into a pool of anxious thoughts.

Maybe he should talk to you about it tomorrow.

But the last straw was when you muttered under your breath about how fat you still were.

No, he had to talk to you about it ASAP.

The bed creaked as you crawled back into his arms and he wrapped his arms around your waist. He never remembered your waist being so small before.

"Can't sleep?" you asked, turning your head towards him. His eyes opened to see your face in front of him.

He was sure the moonlight was playing tricks on him. Your face had harsh lines that he had never noticed, your nose sharper than ever and eyes bigger than before. Your collarbones peeped out of his jersey, more prominent than he had ever seen.

Fuck, how did it get so bad?

He knew you were trying to get fitter but he never realised you were developing something beyond just healthy habits. Kiyoomi could only blame himself for being so absorbed by his recent matches. For not noticing you were harming yourself.

He nodded and you snuggled into his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist comfortably. His thumb ran down your back in an effort to calm you both. Chills ran down his spine when he felt every ridge and bump of your vertebrate. It made him question how he had never noticed everything come crashing down.

"Babe, you okay? Aren't you be happy? Your team won today's match," you looked up into his eyes which were filled with concern. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought.

"How... how did you get so small?" he breathed.

You gulped. Things could only go south from here.

He continued. "I didn't realise it but when Atsumu mentioned it last week, I couldn't help but notice how much weight you've actually lost. Is it even safe to lose this much?"

He held you like you'd slip through his fingers at any moment, like water in a broken plastic cup.

You tried to avoid the topic, tried to look away but he wouldn't let you.

"...Atsumu? What did he say, specifically?" your eyes turned cold the second he mentioned his teammate.

What did he have anything to do with this?

Kiyoomi sat up against the bed frame before sighing deeply. "He was just asking if you were okay, 'cause you didn't seem as energetic as usual. And you can't argue with me, you have lost quite a bit of weight."

You knew that it was taking a lot out of him to talk about this, especially since he was never a confrontational person. It had to mean a lot to him, for him to face a situation like this head on.

"I'm-"

"No, Y/n. You're not fine. Have you been eating well? No, scratch that- have you been eating at all?"

You could feel the waterworks about to start, you felt the back of your eyes warming. Your fingernails dug into your palm, as if you could physically stop the tears from falling.

"I... I ate just now. With the girls," you whispered.

"A Proper Meal, babe. Not one of those 'girl dinner' crap you used to pull in college," he gritted out.

You let out a breath.

"2 days ago. Dinner," your voice cracked, and the waterworks had officially begun. Shame erupted in your chest.

"Fuck," Kiyoomi cursed under his breath.

He couldn't believe this was the same Y/n that would drag him out to enjoy their favourite foods together after a tiring day of practice and work. The same Y/n that enjoyed cooking together with him. The same Y/n that had monthly competitions with him to see who could finish more sushi plates at the conveyor belt sushi restaurant down the street.

It was the same Y/N that deprived herself of any food for days because she saw nothing but ugly, unwanted fat on her emaciated body.

Kiyoomi was speechless. He blinked several times, willing the tears welling up in his eyes not to fall but it was useless. You saw the way his tears rolled down his face along with his sharp intake of breath. He had never thought his wife would do something like this.

The guilt of not noticing what was happening to you was eating him alive.

He managed to calm himself down slightly before doing the only thing he could think of in the moment. He pulled you in and held you tight.

"Please," he whispered. Hugging you close, he begged, "Please don't take my sunshine away."

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarise any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[fatphobiabusters]

These tags were on my detailed explanation of just some of the different ways fat people are oppressed. This is by far not the first time I have had to hear someone advocate for killing all fat people—among other stuff like

Calling me an "ob*se pig"

Telling me to literally kill myself for being an "ob*se pig"

A day later being told that "ob*se" isn't a slur and how dare I "pretend" it is

Laughing at the thought of me dying in an ambulance and using that idea of me dying as thinspo

Using photos of my abused child body before I began recovering from anorexia as thinspo

A person telling me that they literally, word for word, support the idea of fat people being eradicated from this earth through genocide in a, and I quote, "second Holocaust"

Then other fatphobes telling me to "quit whining" when I talked about how someone had told me to die by genocide for daring to have a fat body in their presence

And all of that is just off the top of my head. It's fucking incredible that this sort of bigoted shit is a nearly every day experience for me, and yet numerous times I have been sent asks and messages by self-proclaimed "progressive" people who have pride flag backgrounds for their icons and a mile long DNI list naming any and every type of bigot imaginable except fatphobes, and these people will always message me the same thing:

"You want to be oppressed so bad, don't you?"

There's a lot of fucked up shit evidenced in that sentence that I could talk about, but I'm exhausted and am about to fall asleep.

If you're "progressive" and a fatphobe? Congrats. You've made yourself into a living oxymoron that allows countless people to die. How "progressive" of you. Now to block yet another bigot who believes my fat body cancels out my humanity.

-Mod Worthy

[urfavslav]

toman!mikey, mitsuya, kokonoi + implied fem!reader (seperately), tw ed, recovery from ed [absolutely, congrats on working on recovery! I'm proud of you! hope i did this justice <3 🫂💞]

request: (@giannitaa) heyy!! how are you? could i please requests for a fem!reader recovering from an eating disorder with mitsuya, mikey and extra characters from tokyo revengers? (please if you don't feel comfortable writting about this just tell me because i want to know if it's a yes or a no) i had an eating disorder (anorexia) and i'm slowly introducing myself to new foods or meals that i used to have before my eating disorder 🥹a fluff/comfort headcanons please and thank you! have a great day/good night/good afternoon

mikey is definitely the type to take out put to eat whenever he gets the chance. cafe after ur classes are done, small restaurant after a big fight and his energy is depleted, breakfast before a trip out to the beach. if you don't feel comfortable eating as often as he does, that's ok! he's push you once or maybe twice but he knows when to back off. will also share his meal, you wanna try what he has go ahead! as long as you share yours, yknow taxes. mikey will be there if you feel like venting about a relapse, gushing about a new food you tried or anything in between! he's all ears and at ur side at the drop of a hat!

mitsuya, this sweetheart. :( always texting you to make sure u have at least 2-3 meals a day and stay hydrated. (but listen to ur body!) I think he struggles with eating to, but in a sense of forgetting to eat, with his sisters and his dreams of the fashion industry I think he can get pretty carried away. I think you two would def remind each other to have at least some snacks <3 omg dates/hangouts would be so cute 😭 imagine picking places to go get food and just talk. he's such a chill guy. always offering to take care of the bill, yall end up splitting/taking turns anyway. v supportive! tries to learn about your disorder and how to help you with recovery

koko, cmon you already know ow he's probably worried without reason and tries to spoil you. mentioned a meal you wanna eat? yeah he got reservations a few days ago to a new restaurant. you don't like eating in public? that's ok too, personal chef for dinner <3 he cares about you and wants to make your recovery as comfortable as possible. the type to make sure you have water and ur drink of choice and snacks available to you. once in a blue moon he will make you a super cute meal, like rilakkuma omurice or a cutesy curry. he's trying ok

★ all works belong to @urfavslav , do not repost on anywhere else with or without credit, do not plagiarise. thank you !

[tetsunabouquet]

Loved the interpretation and writing of my last request! If you dont mind, here's a new one. Tw! Anorexia

Gom with a reader suffering from severe restricting eating to the point where they passed out in public or private, your choice. Again, sorry if this is triggering.

A/N: Thank you for the compliment! Trigger warnings for the readers up in the request

Akashi

-Don't expect this guy to be surprised. He has been suspecting it for a while. -When you faint in front of him, his heart sinks in that ultimate, 'Oh no,' moment. -Actually has a minor panic attack. -Flashbacks to his mom. -He'll do everything he can to wake you up. -Once you're awake, he'll have food arranged for you and he's guilt tripping you to eat it. -"Don't make me lose another person that I love."

Aomine

-Has actually told you before about how you should gain a little more weight as he notices the thinness but doesn't has the intellectual brain capacity to suspect something like an ED. -When you faint, it still doesn't registers in his mind but he does immediately recognize that you needed something to eat. -Momoi is the one to tell him she suspects your disordered eating, and Aomine's heart honestly breaks at the news. -He is demanding you to tell him which stupid idiot convinced you that you were fat, so that he can beat them up right now. -You are honestly touched to see him be so angry and upset on your behalf, he is so pure with his praise and love for you. -Demands that you eat with him at the Maji burger at least once a week and that you try to finish the meal he buys for you.

Murasakibara

-Like Aomine, he doesn't has any suspicions regarding the behavior itself but he does notices you don't eat enough. -Murasakibara just cradles you confused in his arms as Himuro tells him what to do next as well as mention his suspicions about your restrictve eating. -Murasakibara honestly stares at you like you're an alien creature as he has to process the idea that people can hate food that much, thank god you're unconscious and you can't see his face. -He makes up his mind to be the person to cure you of that hate. -Dumps pretty much all candy and snacks he has on him on you the moment you wake up all the whilst giving you a look as sweet and pure as the candy itself. -He increases little habbits like feeding you, because clearly you need it.

Midorima

-Has been taking calculated notes of how much you eat, but is afraid of coming off too strong so he refrains from daring to ask the question. -When you faint he has the most perfect response ever, and manages to stay calm even though he is breaking down on the inside with worry. -Confronts you sternly but lovingly once you wake up, he only wants the best for you. -Reads multiple books on how to be a supportive partner. -Honestly he's adorable with how hard he tries to be there for you. -After the event, he prepares you a bento in the theme of your lucky item of the day, always. Even on the days you can't bring yourself to eat it, he doesn't minds and just hoped carrying the lucky item themed lunch brought you courage in different ways.

Kise

-Knows. Immediately. -As a model, he has far too much model contacts not to know about that dark side of the industry so he knows all the signs. -Is the only one to have confronted you about it before it got to the fainting stage. -Honestly he bawls like a baby when you faint in front of him, because this was exactly like he feared. -He manages to get the number of a great treatment program from another model that is combatting her own ED after you woke up again and got him to calm down. -Tries to feed you all the time whilst acting as cutesy as possible, full idol mode. Because he hopes it will do the trick. -He tries to uplift you by talking about his own insecurities, as being under the limelight does also open him up to scrutiny way more then the average person.

[void-wolfie]

I Love You. I Support You.

summary: jenna finds you on the bathroom floor puking. [request]

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: eating disorders, bulimia, terrible writing lol

words: 1.08k

a/n: I don't have any experience with eating disorders so this may not be an accurate description. I know bulimia affects people in different ways and I did my best to research and depict this disorder in an authentic manner. if you have an eating disorder you should definitely seek help. it took me a while to find the right words to write this but hopefully this is what you were asking for anon :)

*if mentions of eating disorders (i.e.; anorexia, bulimia, etc.) trigger you please refrain from reading

Jenna was sitting across the dinner table from you, her plate almost empty, unlike yours, which you'd barely made a dent in. You'd eaten a little bit, but you didn't feel like eating anymore, you just kept pushing the rest of your food around with your fork.

Jenna watched you mindlessly push the food around on your plate, completely unaware of her eyes on you. She was worried. You'd been acting strange for a while now, and that bubbly, carefree demeanor you carried proudly seemed to be fading away.

She chalked it up to stress at first, work was rough for you and she hadn't been able to spend as much time with you due to her own projects. But it felt like there was something else going on as well, she just couldn't figure out what.

"Babe?"

Your head shot up, finally noticing her worried expression. It sent a wave of guilt through you; you hadn't meant to make her worry...

"Is everything okay?" She seemed wary of asking like you were some ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

"Yeah, fine," you forced a small smile, trying your best to ease your girlfriend's worries, "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

You got up from the table as fast as humanly possible while trying not to look suspicious, a task easier said than done. Especially when your girlfriend is great at reading body language.

You made sure to shut the bathroom door behind you, instantly turning on the sink to drown out any noise.

Your stupid thoughts, they were at it again. You often felt safe in Jenna's presence, like your own insecurities couldn't touch you. But right now, there was a war raging inside your mind and you were quickly losing.

You knew looking in the mirror right now would be a death sentence, so you avoided that, instead, focusing on the way your hands gripped the white countertop.

It's just in your head. It's all in your head. You kept telling yourself. You can control it. Don't listen to it.

But the other little voice in your head was screaming, begging, clawing its way through the caverns of your mind. If it were any louder you wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors down the street could hear it. Fat. Fat. Fat. Too many calories.

Fat. Need to purge.

Ignore it. It can't control you.

Purge!

Shut up!

It started to dawn on you that maybe you were fighting a losing battle. Destined to lose no matter how long you fought.

Jenna was worried. You ran to the bathroom fairly quickly. Something wasn't right, she could feel it. She could hear the sink running, drowning out any noise.

Tired of the uncertainties rolling around in the back of her mind, she made her way to the bathroom, pressing her ear up to the door to listen in. Yes, it was an invasion of privacy, but she needed to make sure you were okay.

For a moment, all she could hear was the sound of the sink running. Then she heard it, it practically echoed against the bathroom walls. The sound of puking.

She gently pushed open the bathroom door, just to confirm if her suspicions were true. Through the crack of the door, she could see you slumped over the toilet, your knees digging into the tile floor as you gripped the bowl and emptied the contents of your stomach.

Jenna pushed open the door the rest of the way. She sat down on the floor next to you, trying to give you space while still being close enough to rub your back soothingly.

She didn't say anything, just sat there, doing her best to provide you with comfort.

It had been quiet for a few minutes now. You were silently waiting for the next wave of vomit, but there didn't seem to be one coming. The tears had stopped flowing long ago, but the salty tracks were still wet against your cheeks trailing down to your chin. Your throat ached and you could feel the shame of the situation beginning to seep in.

"It's back, isn't it?" It was Jenna who'd broken the silence, barely even whispering in the quiet of the bathroom. The only noise was the sink still softly running in the background. Part of you was glad she left the sink running, the sound of the water was better than having to listen to your puking echo in dead silence.

You nodded, silently answering Jenna's question.

You told Jenna about your eating disorder long ago, when the two of you first started dating. You didn't give her many details, and she didn't push you to tell her. She knew the basics, and she was glad you trusted her enough to tell her anything at all. You were in recovery; you were doing well. At least you were till a few weeks ago. All it took was a bad fight with a close friend and a few comments about your past to send you spiraling. You relapsed that day and have been struggling to manage it since.

Jenna's hand still rested on your back, doing her best to try and comfort you, "How can I help?"

"I don't know..." You answered truthfully.

"We're going to get through this together, okay? I love you. I support you."

If it weren't for the conflicting tide of emotions washing over you, you'd probably be smiling like a love-sick fool. I love you. I support you. You said that to Jenna every time she had to go away for filming or movie premieres or whatever else her busy schedule had planned. It had become routine between the two of you, one that had become a source of comfort for both of you. Now it was her turn to support you.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay."

You let Jenna help clean you up. She made sure you brushed your teeth extra well, making you use mouthwash twice just to be safe. She helped you into the shower and helped your tired form get dressed after. And when it was all said and done, she made sure you were cozy in bed before putting on your favorite movie to fall asleep to. The talk of figuring out a plan was promised to be done tomorrow, for now, all you wanted was comfort and your girlfriend, and Jenna was more than happy to help with both of those things.

[megistusdiary]

don't know if you're comfortable writing these kinds of fics but !! if possible could i get arlecchino comforting and caring for a S/O recovering from anorexia nervosa ? thank you so much for reading ��

i don't know too much about specific conditions, but i do know that arlecchino would be empathetic/caring (in the way that she can)

she'd listen to you when you want to discuss it, offer her support and advice to you. she would never make you feel less than or uncomfortable around her.

she would offer you kind words when you start to recover, telling you she is proud of you, and that she understands it is difficult.

she might not be the most gentle or caring, but you'll know she loves you when she listens dutifully. if there are foods you do enjoy, she picks up on those and will make sure to bring you those comfort foods, though they might just magically appear rather than her hand-delivering them. how mysterious.

she wouldn't push you into anything you're not okay with, always being respectful of your wishes. she's thoughtful, obviously.

on your journey to recovery, she's there with you as your own personal cheerleader, even if it is under a cold, dark exterior

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Sending all the love to fat people with anorexia. Sending all the love to fat people with bulimia. Your eating disorder is just as serious as it would be in a thin person, and you deserve just as much support and help in your recovery. I know you don't get that experience when you get sick, and you definitely don't get to experience those positive healing vibes when you choose recovery and stop losing weight. Just know that I see you, that I know it's not fair, and that I believe in your immense worth and the worth of your recovery journey.

[aihoshiino]

Da Vinci Magazine Jan. 2024: A Q&A with Ai of B-Komachi!

In the January 2024 issue of Da Vinci magazine, there was an in-character interview with Ai as written by Aka Akasaka that you can read a translation of here! What I forgot to mention on that initial post is that there was also a little lightning round Q&A the original anon didn't translate at the time. Thankfully, they did post it and I just... completely forgot it existed until now. ;9 Shout out to past me who remembered to save it and kept me from having to dig thru the 4chan archives for it...

Unlike the original interview, this is my translation! So any goofs and gaffes are entirely on me lol. This is also totally spoiler safe, so you can read both this Q&A and the original interview no matter what point you are in the series.

Get to Know Ai Better! Q&A Session

Q. What motto do you live by?

A. I really like "Tomorrow is a new day." I'm one of those people who forgets all their worries after a good nights' sleep. (laughs)

Q. Tell us how you refresh yourself!

A. I like taking naps on my days off. I was saying earlier that I forget my worries once I've gotten some sleep but with this job, it can be hard to find the time to actually do it. Not just that, but lately I've been waking up in the night to take care of this and that, so when I do have the time to sleep, I really conk out.

Q. What is your routine on days off?

A. I wake up, prep some milk… oh, um - I like cornflakes so I always need milk for breakfast. Then I go for a nap (laughs). I know some of the other B-Komachi members like going to beauty salons or nail salons, but I don't do nails and I let my hair grow out so I'm usually just at home (laughs). I even cut my own bangs! I've been doing it for years so I'm pretty good at it. I've even cut other peoples' hair once or twice, though not anyone in B-Komachi.

Q. Your 20th birthday's coming up soon. What are you looking forward to doing once it arrives?

A. I want to try drinking alcohol. The president of my agency keeps saying, "I can't wait to have a drink with you!" He makes it sound like a lot of fun, so I'm curious to know what getting tipsy's like.

Q. What book left the biggest impression on you this year?

A. It's a manga, but I was moved to tears by "I'll Go With Sweet Today". The heroine is a girl who distrusts people and develops anorexia, becoming terrified of eating… I have a bit of that in me too, though not quite to the same extent she does, so I could really relate to her and her journey to recovery really moved me. If there's ever a live-action version, I'd love to play her!

Q: What would you like to do after the Dome concert?

A: I'd like to go on a trip or something. Where would be nice... Oh, I've heard of 'Mito Natto' before, so maybe Mito!

Q: What's something a fan said that made you happy?

A. You know, I didn't used to read any fan letters at all. But there was a time I was getting tired of being an idol and I was planning to quit, so the president made me sit down and read all the letters I'd gotten. That was the first time I'd ever realized just how much support I was getting and it made me go "in that case, I'll give them all my love and support in return!". I even wrote a song about it. So now I treasure all the letters and words I get from my fans. I actually got a gift from a fan recently, some 'star sand'. It was really beautiful and my real name "star" in it, it made me really happy. I've still got it displayed in my room.

Q: What is "true love" to you?

A. I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd say true love is being a genius who doesn't lie. I think maybe people lie to avoid lying. I'm not sure if that's a good answer and even I don't know if it makes sense, but it's just something I feel.

Q: Do you think you're a liar?

A: Hmm~~? That's a se~cret! (laughs)

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

i love ur writing sm!!! can i req eyeless jack & toby with a s/o who struggles with anorexia/has a eating disorder? if you’re not comfortable with this req then please ignore this!!

Aw, thank you so much! Im glad you like my writing <3 Also, a small disclaimer before we get in, i do not have that specific ed, so i apologize if i accidentally write something triggering or innaccurate!

TW: Eating disorders are a constant topic throughout this entry, also on Toby's entry there is a (fake) skull so be warned

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eyeless Jack

From a medical and boyfriend standpoint, he is extremely worried for you

He tries to get you to eat small things, at least enough to fuel your body so it doesn't shut down

"You know, dandelions are actually very nutritious! They are low in calories and are quite good in tea"

And if you feel really upset about your body or about your medical issues, he will listen to you without judgment

And if you want different inputs, youll have to ask him whether you want his opinon as a doctor or as a boyfriend

If you eat something you normally wouldn't, he assures you that you aren't bloating up ten sizes, and in reality, one little meal won't hurt

If you lose weight, expect him to go full on doctor mode

If you don't like that though, just tell him and he'll stop

He would probably be the best at giving you safe food reccomendations that are still healthy but low in calories

He'd also be the best at helping you recover, as he wouldn't push you to recover until you are mentally ready, and also has the most knowledge on how to recover

Ticci Toby

When given the topic of eating disorders, he doesn't really know what to do

He tries his hardest to understand, but you'll probably still have to guide him on certain things

For example, you'll have to help him understand that he can't just constantly ask if you've eaten yet, or try to make you eat, as it can be very triggering

He of course, understands and apologizes heavily for all past incidents of him doing so

It's definitely a delicate subject for him, so he tries to kind of tip-toe around the discussions so he doesn't trigger you in any way

Though, if you get upset about your ed, he will of course be there to comfort you

Or maybe if you want baggier clothes, he will lend you his clothes, which tend to be pretty baggy

And if you lose weight, he does his hardest to be excited for you without directly encouraging your ed

If informing him about certain things would be too triggering for you, never fear, for he has reddit and google

Im kidding of course (sort of), he also finds credible recourses and articles so he can understand on a deeper level everything about you

If you are trying to recover, hed do all the things with you

Trying out different diets to see what works fo you? He'll also go on that diet to support you

Just trying to eat more in general? He'll make you little personalized meals with things he knows you'd like

All around, he'll do what you want him too